#a fool in a stupid hat ( hatter. )

[king-crane]

🎁 !

@librarywent for Jervis!

"Do you have a fucking problem, Hatter?" His contempt was about as plain as it got. Jervis Tetch was a madman whose goals were almost always indecipherable -- something that should have endeared him to Crane. But it was his tech, his tendencies that disgusted him.

Hatter was brilliant, it was true -- but his devices were sickening, overriding the impulses and minds of those under his sway to obey his commands. No fear. No fight or flight. Nothing.

He had grappled with Jervis' subordinates in the past, and it had always been unsatisfying. And now, here Crane was, forced into the position of 'teammate' for Jervis. Were it not for the fact that they were both currently forced into submission with bomb collars on their necks, Crane would have eviscerated him.

Where Joker had gotten these bomb collars from, Crane couldn't say for sure, but he knew that the clown wasn't bullshitting when he said he'd be willing to use them. So here Crane was, paired up with the Mad Hatter on an errand for the clown prince of crime. Finish this job, and they would be released. Hopefully. Joker was a man of his word... usually. Sometimes. He was unpredictable, rather.

Crane would have loved to have time to change into some clean clothes, but he had been left in the dirty rags that Joker had put him in -- and so was Jervis. The tall, lanky Scarecrow rank of sweat and blood, and it felt as if tiny bugs were crawling all over his skin, and Hatter's very presence was enough to send him over the edge.

"You ever been punched in your fucking face, Jervis? If the answer is 'no', and you would like to keep it that way, then stay out my personal space."

The compound was in sight. If he kept his cool, they could be in and out... but nothing ever seemed to go right for him.

vent - by Baby Keem

[hatterstan-shameblog]

just in case I don't finish it before s2 I've always had a stupid silly theory about how hatter and aguni got into the Borderlands and I wanted to write it down just in case I'm right (extremely unlikely):

they're in hatter's bathroom in his apartment (you know the one above the hat shop that probably doesn't exist but I'm pretending it's there anyways) and aguni's installing a new sink and hatter's just sitting on the edge of the bathtub supervising and they don't even notice the "fireworks" outside and that the power's gone out because natural light from window/flashlights being used for installation purposes

so these two fools are in the Borderlands for like a solid hour until hatter's like "gonna get a snack you want something?" and he goes to the fridge to find that the power's gone out. so he's like "ok mori you're staying for dinner we gotta clean out my fridge because power's gone on the whole street" and these clueless bitches get the little hot plate out and make a whole damn meal COMPLETELY OBLIVIOUS to anything else going on. hatter's record player still works so whatever, they have a beer and listen to some tunes while waiting for the power to come back on.

they only realize something is wrong when the arenas light up and they're like "uhhhhhh wait a second" amd THATS when everything starts falling into place

[ahalal-uralma]

A Few Favorite Idioms

“For better than never is late; never to succeed would be too long a period.” It first appears in Yeoman’s Tale by Geoffrey Chaucer (1386) for The Canterbury Tales. It suggests “it is better to be delayed in achieving a goal, then to neglect in pursuing it entirely.”

One can not expect success if one refuses to make an effort to accomplish a task; because, reasonably even if it’s done late, it’s still being done.

“Where ignorance is bliss, tis folly to be wise.” by Thomas Grey (1742) It is often shortened to state “Ignorance is bliss” as a means to excuse willful laziness or generalized stupidity, but, this is not it’s true intended meaning. It’s meaning is to remain empathetic and self-accountable in the face of knowledge. If it makes you unhappy to know it, then it’s not worth knowing. Do not acquire any information that is worthless and causes you unhealthy stress.

“Helter skelter, hang sorrow, care 'll kill a cat, up-tails all, and a louse for the hangman.” - Ben Jonson (1598) It has been used to warn against misfortune following any investigation deemed unnecessary, however this is only a version of the idiom as it has evolved to state:"Curiosity killed the cat, but satisfaction brought it back." - The Titusville Herald (1912)

The cat dies, but he comes back to life. He dies, but doesn’t die a fool. The cat dies and won’t be killed twice for the same thing. He returns to life and does so happy; and he lives so, because he has learned; and because the cat is willing to learn, he shall go on living with a feeling of new and revived pleasure.

Curiosity isn’t always a bad thing, and by this way of suggestion and wording, it’s meaning is to reflect that ‘a resurrection follows the death of ignorance.’ He learns in a way that is analytic and undaunted; and moreover, this brings him improved knowledge, quality of life, and a self-satisfying way of thinking and experience akin to immortality. He killed his stupidity to find eternity in intelligence.

Bliss is fleeting, and would have kept the cat safe in his mortal life, perhaps, but death is inevitable regardless and where death could have meaning, he will know that he does not know a thing of meaning; because, ignorance trapped him to the same place until inevitably he would have died anyway.

“Mad as a Hatter,” (1837) original speaker is unknown, but the idiom became more popular through Lewis Carroll’s ‘Alice’s Adventures In Wonderland’ (1865) via the personification of the Mad Hatter. A quote close to this happens between Alice and the character of the Mad Hatter in Burton’s adaptation:

Mad Matter: "Have I gone mad?" Alice: "I'm afraid so. You're entirely bonkers. But I'll tell you a secret. All the best people are.”

The idiom is believed to be reference to mercury poisoning affecting the hat-making industry between the 18th to 20th centuries.

This condition has been aptly called, “The Mad Hatter Disease” and has symptoms ranging from skin rashes to vomiting to emotional and mental health changes such as anxiety and excitability; hence, the later associations of the disease being used to stigmatize mental health by way of simile “you are crazy like a hatter.”

This accusation suggests: if you have a mental state that is believed to be unfamiliar, unknown or unpredictable, then you must be insane like someone who has been poisoned.

It could be true The Mad Hatter is genuinely crazy as a result of a poisoning, but does that make it less crazy to find it normal to condemn and mock his likeness, or exactness, because of a situation that compromised the very function of his internal anatomy? What of people that resemble him? If you can’t think on it, then don’t speak about it.

Although, the original purpose of this idiom’s use is meant to be degrading and derogatory, there are those who have adapted and altered the personification of the mad hatter to be a symbol of defiance against societal norms; or alternatively, to serve as a symbol of coping.

It’s an idiom that’s served to inspire the minds of creatives (ie. writers, artists, models) as well as influence the name of clinics and businesses (ie. Mad Hatter Wellness).

History made a satirical symbol of mental illness and that satirical symbol has adapted and redefined to become one of empowerment and disillusionment rather than weakness as a result of it’s character.

In many modern approach’s of the Mad Hatter: craziness is symbolized as an act of rebellion of what is to be expected, but often expectation adapts an ideological concept of what stability appears to be and often, at the expense of what is truly authentic to one’s well being.

To put it more simplistically: The Mad Hatter exists to challenge society’s illusions and misconceptions over mental health.

To reiterate a scene with the Mad Hatter of Alice’s Adventures In Wonderland, “‘I don't think...’ then you shouldn't talk.” It’s best that those who don’t understand a person’s state of mind, do not pass condemning judgment on it.

[peakywitch]

Behind the Garrison, by the Canal - Finn Shelby

Word count: 1630

Warning: mention about sex and semi-nudity (?)

A/N: i wrote it in spanish and translated it, apologies if you see any mistake! 

gif: @el-cheung​

A soft knock on the door interrupted (Y/N) from his reading. She looked up curiously from her book, not knowing who it might be.

Her mother? She was upstairs sleeping with the baby.

Her father? He was working.

Her older brother? He was meeting his fiancé’s parents.

Finn? No, he was at a family meeting, it couldn't be him. Plus, they never met each other during the day.

Y/N got up from the uncomfortable purple sofa, going to the door. She tried to peek through the small window to find out who it was. Suit, a peaked hat, a cigar. A Blinder.

Sh took a deep breath, had her brother gotten into trouble? Having exhaled, she opened the door, showing Finn.

"Finn?" she asked curious and somewhat nervous, they were only supposed to see each other half past eight, behind the Garrison, by the canal.

If her father came earlier from work, she was dead.

"Hey, Y/N." he smiled, as he spoke fast.

"I know we said to meet in a few hours, but since I have the afternoon free, I thought about asking you if...you could...lend me another book?" the nervous smile was still there.

The young girl was teaching the younger Shelby how to read, and since he learned, he read every book there was and to be.

Pride and Prejudice? Finished in 72 hours.

Little women? One week.

Hell, he'd even read the bible and could recite some verses from memory.

On one occasion, Finn told Y/N that he had corrected Isaiah, about the bible:

"I will fear no evil!" Isaiah said humorously, as he answered Arthur about whether he was afraid on one of those many illegal occasions. “Jesus said it, you know, Arthur? And I…” Finn cut him off, correcting him.

"Isaiah, that’s Psalm 23:4." Finn said casually, as he finished his cigarette.

Arthur, John, and Isaiah burst into laughter, of course after trying to figure out how Finnny Boy knew so much about God.

"Sure, Finn. Give me a moment." Y/N closed the door, took the Illustrated edition of Alice in Wonderland that he was reading, took out the bookmark, and returned to the door. She opened it and Finn was still wearing that nervous smile.

"Here it is, have fun with Alice, the Queen and the Mad Hatter, Finn." Y/N's smile made Finn's hand shake.

A few weeks ago, the boy had killed a man. His hand did not tremble, his head did not hesitate. But, oh shit, his heart exploded in anger that night, at home. Finn would never admit it, but it scared him to grow up and be as savagely violent as Arthur, or as distant as Tommy. Fear and anxiety were eating him alive, until he realized that his hand was shaking when she smiled at him.

“Thank you, beautiful." He smiled, as he exchanged the borrowed copy of Romeo and Juliet for that copy of Alice. After a wink and a "see you later" he walked away.

With a stomach full of butterflies, Y/N closed the door.

"Hello friend," she whispered to the book. "Have they treated you well?"

Y/N sat down on the couch again, going over the sentences she had marked with her black pen for the umpteenth time. As she was fanning through the pages, a piece of paper fell on her legs. Curious, she took it in her hands and saw Finn's handwriting. She knew it was his, she had taught him to write in italics. Also, she would recognize that misaligned handwriting and that soft stroke anywhere.

“I thought I knew love until your beauty seduced my eyes. Page 118 –Finn”

She smiled.

After greeting her father who had just arrived from work, Y/N commented that she would go to sleep and skip supper. The clock in her room read half past seven in the afternoon, which gave the signal to Y/N to escape through her window.

She wrapped herself up, looked at herself in the small mirror on her wall, and went out the window. Although the house had two stories, Y/N's room was downstairs, making it easier for her to get out the window.

Legs out, then the torso, the arms, and finally the head. Once outside, she adjusted her hair and began her short walk.

Y/N lived just five minutes from the Garrison and should meet Finn in an hour. But she wanted to stop by the Garrison to say hi to Harry. Also, she was to bring him a shirt that her mother had fixed for him.

As she thought of Finn, the five minutes turned into two seconds, and Y/N found herself in front of the pub. It was Friday, so it was full of men with inhuman amounts of alcohol in their blood. She took a deep breath and opened both doors, the smoke from so much cigarette making her dizzy.

She walked over to the bar and saw Harry serving a scotch. Her nose narrowed, remembering that awful taste she'd tasted with Finn.

"It's horrible," Finn had said, "I don't know why my brothers drink this shit."

"Hello Y/N" Harry greeted, anyone could hear her mother's Irish accent on him.

"Hi Harry, I bring you your shirt. Mom thanks you for making her focus on something other than the baby."

They both laughed, as Y/N handed him the bag. After a casual chat, some questions about her father, her new brother and her mother, they said goodbye. Y/N passed by the private booth, but didn't hear a soul. Maybe Finn was already by the river.

It was a matter of seconds before she reached the river, in their usual spot. She sat on a rock and waited.

Two, five, ten, fifteen, thirty minutes.

It was ten past eight, maybe quarter past eight.

Finn wasn't coming, and Y/N was starting to get scared. It was late, she shouldn't be alone. It was eight thirty, she had waited fifteen more minutes.

"God, don't let anything bad happen, please” Y/N said between prayers.

When she got up, she started walking in the direction of his house. To Finn's house. She was sure he was reading. She headed to Finn's house mainly because she was only a few feet away from it and also because she wanted to know if he was okay.

When she arrived and saw the light on, she was relieved. She knocked on the door, she would ask him to accompany her home.

"I’m going!" Finn yelled, there was a laugh and a slim, semi-naked woman who was wearing a man's shirt opened the door, still laughing.

"Lydia I told you that..." Finn's laughter stopped "Oh bloody hell."

Finn had come up behind Lydia, shirtless and his suspenders dangling at his sides.

The floor shook under Y/N's feet. The rest was blurry, for both of them. Finn remembered the cold hitting his shirtless chest as he yelled Y/N's name all over Watery Lane and Saint Mary's Street, asking for forgiveness and for her to listen to him. Y/N remembered the knot in her belly, hearing nothing except her breaths and feeling how Finn's words he had written burned her heart. Her heart, for the first time, was breaking along with the trust she had in him. Because she thought he was good, she believed that he loved her and that he wouldn't be fooling around with others after all those kisses and secret talks on the river.

When she got to the door of her house, Y/N was trying to open it. But the key was on the other side.

"Can you hear me for a damn moment!?" Finn yelled, coming to her side. He took the sad girl by the arm and turned her around.

"Do not touch me! Don't ever touch me again in your fucking life, Finn Shelby!" she bellowed, tears spilling from her eyes.

"Okay." he quickly separated from her, releasing her “But you have to listen to me. I…She…” his voice trembled.

"Did you sleep with her, Finn?" Y/N whispered.

"No...I..." the boy nervously combed his hair as he looked at the floor, Y/N knew instantly that he was lying.

"You had sex with her?!" Y/N let out in a strangled cry, asking but claiming at the same time. Her angry eyes were focused on Finn's, who were scared "And don't lie to me, please don't lie to me."

"Yes."

Y/N’s throat went dry, while her heart kept on breaking.

"Since when?"

"Five months now."

"Oh..." Y/N let out bitterly, then laugh "You are so afraid of looking like your brothers that you forget a detail: You are them, you always were and always will be."

“Don't tell me that, Y/N. You can't tell me that…” Finn cried.

"Yes, I fuckin’ can. You could shag her, I can tell you the truth. I'm not lying to you, Finn. I never lied to you."

“Do you remember two weeks ago, on the river? You said…” Y/N interrupted him.

“I said how I felt, Finn. Now I feel so much, so much pain and hate that I wish I had never told you."

Finn's face was a complete puzzle.

The door slammed open, appearing Y/N's older brother.

"Bye, Finn."

She entered the house, and headed straight for her room, ignoring her brother's whispers about how she should never have gotten together with Shelby. That they do this, they do that.

“Y/N! I am talking to you!" Peter said, entering his little sister's room.

"Peter, stop it, ok?" exploded Y/N “I know I didn't have to hang out with the Shelby family. But you're also dating a stupid woman and nobody tells you anything! "

Peter backed away, shocked.

“No… Peter, sorry. Wendy is…"

“Save it, Y/N. I opened the door for you, so that Dad wouldn’t kill the Shelby himself. But first thing tomorrow morning, they want you down. Both of them."

And just like that, Peter left the room, leaving Y/N in a mess and crying.

[fangirl-1523]

My Sworn Brothers [Luffy x Crossover!Sister!Reader x Ace x Sabo]

A/N: Hey, so I want to write a High School AU of the many, many anime I have watched/ read. Bleach, Blue Exorcist, Devil is a Part-Timer, Durarara, Fairy Tail, Fullmetal Alchemist, High School of the Dead, InuYasha, Kill La Kill, Magi, My Hero Academia, Noragami, One Piece, Ouran High School Host Club, Pokemon, Saiki K, Sailor Moon, Seven Deadly Sins, Soul Eater, Sword Art Online, Vampire Knight, Your Lie in April, and Yu Gi-Oh. And I was wondering who would you like to be apart of your friend? And would you like to have a relation to any of the characters of the world. 

Summary: [Y/N] is the oldest sworn sister to Luffy, Ace, and Sabo. And after finding Ace and Sabo aboard Luffy’s ship, the Thousand Sunny, she explains to them who she is, her other sworn brothers and sisters, embarrasses the three of them (a regular Tuesday for her), and threatens them with a chalkboard for interrupting her. Multiple times. In this story, most of the anime I am into is in the same world (Bleach, Blue Exorcist, Fairy Tail, Fullmetal Alchemist, InuYasha, Magi, My Hero Academia, Naruto, Noragami, Seven Deadly Sins, and Sword Art Online.  I might do a part 2. 

Warnings: spoilers for the above mangas and animes, also, even though this is along the timeline of after the time skip (at some point), I took the creative liberty to have Ace alive during this meeting for a quad family reunion, might be language

Word Count: 1, 668

“How the hell am I suppose to believe that my three idiotic brothers would be in the same place at the exact same time I’m trying to find them?” the girl with [H/C] hair, old enough to be Luffy’s age, maybe a year younger or a year older than him. 

“[Y/N]!!” the rubber boy flung himself at her in a hug.

She fell down on her butt from the impact of the hug. She groaned before pushing the boy off of her and standing up, dusting herself off. “Geez, Lu. I was on a job, just finished, and I heard something about a Straw Hat, a Fire Fist, and a blonde with a top hat that put the mad hatter to shame. I just came to see if the rumors are true.” 

“What job did you have, sis?” Sabo said as he sipped a smoothie created from Vinsmoke Sanji. 

“Well, you see. In the ten years I’ve been gone, I’ve been busy. Both with being lazy and being diligent.” the girl explained. “I am a member of Fairy Tail. Dragon Slayer Magic, particularly fire, water, earth, air, and plant. Requip the Knight. Some space jumping there and vortex opening here.” 

“You got the two mixed up, kid.” Ace said from his spot next to Sabo. 

The girl grinned an evil grin. “Oh, did I, Ace of Clubs?” 

The raven haired pirate groaned at the nickname while Luffy’s crew members wondered after the nickname. Ace kept giving her the don’t-tell-them-anything look with a cut-it-out motion. She, like most people she knew, did not listen to reason. 

“Well, when we were younger, I attempted to teach the pour unfortunate souls that you call Luffy, Sabo, and Ace golf. And we played mini-gold. First hole we went to, the club flew out of Ace’s hand and crashed into the window where the pour lady working the club stand was clonked on the head and fell unconscious. Another fun fact: I’m overly competitive and therefore master of mini gold. Luffy on the other hand... beat my bowling high score of just a little over four hundred points.” [Y/N] explained. 

“THAT’S NOT HOW YOU PLAY GOLF, YOU IDIOT!” Usopp shouted at his captain. 

“Ace was a lot worse. However, on the eighteenth hole, got a hole in one. Although with team sports, I always sided with Luffy ‘cuz he was the baby of the family.” she explained. 

“Never play Volleyball with her unless you’re Luffy.” Sabo warned the Straw Hat Pirates. 

“Could you... possibly.... explain who you are?” asked Nami. 

“That’s an easy and excellent question, m’lady. I am [Y/N] [L/N], the daughter of the Demon King from the Demon Clan, Niece of Solomon, adoptive daughter of the great dragon, The Curse of Depravity, a mage of S-Class ranking, the best older sister anyone can have, a Shinigami, and the Pirate Fairy.” [Y/N] said with her hands on her hips like wonder woman. 

“You’re not wonder woman, dumbass.” Ace muttered. 

She scowled at the boy (who was now physically older than her). “I know that, asshole.” Ace shrugged his shoulders at that. “Anyways, I should get going. I’m here with my teammates. And Salamander will have a cow if he finds out I’m on a Pirate Ship. Which may or may not include Natsu asking you all to fight him at once for his sister.” [Y/N] shrugged. 

“SISTER?!” Luffy screeched. 

“YOU ALREADY REPLACED US?!” Ace and Sabo said in unison. 

“This is why I never took you to Amusement parks or sat next to you on a ride.” she clenched at her swollen ears.  “No, I was merely saying that I have something called [Y/N]’s Council of Brothers. They’re basically a band of boys I feel need my protection, wisdom, and power to embarrass them until they’re six feet under and rotting.” 

“She’s dark.” Nami said. “But can you explain this whole Council of Brothers thing. Because I’m not sure they,” the ginger pointed to the three brothers, “understand.” 

“Alright! I will go over a lesson here!” and suddenly a white board appeared by her side with writing already on it. 

“Where did you get the white board?” asked Luffy. 

“That’s not important right now.” she scowled. “Yes, Sabo.” 

“Was that Whiteboard always there and we just never noticed it?” the blonde asked. 

“No. Ace if this is a question about the white board, I will smack you with the same gold club that flew through that window. All questions about the stupid whiteboard will be answered after I explained everything. Got it?” 

The three brothers grumbled out a, “Yes.”  

“Good. Anyways, to start it off I have two half-brothers. Meliodas and Zeldris.” she slapped a pointer stick against the whiteboard. 

“Did she always have that?” Ace asked, whispering it to his two brothers. 

“I don’t know. I’m just glad someone noticed it besides me.” Sabo murmured back. 

“SILENCE, YOU INSOLENCE FOOLS!” and she threw a frying pan which hit Ace in the head. 

Why does she have a frying pan in her requips? Sabo wondered in his head, not wanting to get hit in the head with anything else she might have to throw at them. 

“Anyways, Meliodas and Zeldris are my half-brothers. Zeldris is the captain of the Demon Clan’s ten Commandments while Meliodas is the captain of Liones’s Seven Deadly Sins of which I am co-captain and the Phoenix Sin of Darkness. To be fair, I look more like my mother and I think the only thing me, Meliodas, and Zeldris share is our dumbassery we inherited from our father. Second off, my cousin is Magi Aladdin since my mother is his father, Solomon,’s sister. Now, that’s enough of my actual biological family. Now, I won’t go into detail about those three. Because you already seem well-acquainted with one another. Anyways, onto the next one. The next one on my list of brothers is a half-demon named Rin who is the son of Satan along with his younger brother, Yukio, but he doesn’t really need protection. next is Kazuto Kirigaya also known as Kirito. I prefer to call him that. He got stuck in a game where if you die there, you die in real life, but he defeated them. next, we have Satan himself, a king of demons, Sadou Maou. He works as a part-timer for a fast food chain which is sad to be honest. Next, we have Alibaba Saluja, a prince and a king’s candidate, also my cousin’s best friend. He wields the fire djinn, Amon. Also, he’s trying to be a gladiator while figuring out his feelings for Fanalis and former slave Morgiana. Next, we have actual God Yato who is a former god of calamity and a current god of war. I think. I’m not quite sure. But he and his two regalia, Yukine and a Nora named Kazuma, but also Kazune under Yato, must be protected by me at all cost. Then, we have Edward Elric, a alchemist missing both a leg and an arm because he wanted to see his mom’s smile again which kicks me in the heartstrings whenever I hear it. His brother, Alphonse, is an honorary member of the Council of Brothers. And he used to be entirely a soul attached to a suit of armor. No joke.” 

“Does no one else notice that they are mostly raven haired or blonde?” Nico Robin commented. 

The Straw Hat Pirates turned to the three sworn brothers who just shrugged their shoulders at that. “I admit I am guilty for that. But my actual brothers are raven headed and blonde, so that may be the reason. Anyways, off to the next people. Now, this person could make Luffy look like a genius. Sometimes. Natsu Dragneel, a salmon haired fire dragon slayer, is the brother of Zeref Dragneel, the black wizard, and also simultaneously END, the most powerful demon of the book of zeref which makes him one of the top fifteen most powerful demons. Next, we have strawberry boi, Ichigo Kurosaki, a shinigami who I’ve been helping train. He could see the dead and then he discovered his spiritual power, stole the shinigami powers of Rukia Kuchiki, and started to exorcist hollows and send souls to the soul society. Then, we have my favorite band of brothers since they could literally be in a band. Broccoli Boi, Izuku Midoriya, kinda has a power augmentation quirk, best way to describe it without giving too much away, Porcupine Katsuki Bakugo who can blow things up with help from his sweat. Zuko Wannabe Shoto Todoroki who can wield fire and ice. Also, his brother Touya may or may not be Dabi. Then, Pikachu Kaminari Denki who can utilize elctricity, but too much and he makes Luffy look like a genius. No joke. Well… maybe… I don’t really know. Anyways, then we have speedster Tenya Iida. Oh, there’s sharkboy Eijiro Kirishima. He can make himself go as hard as rock, but he has limitations. Then, we have spidertape Hanta Sero that can shoot tape out of his elbows. Then, half-demon InuYAsha who is the son of a dog demon and a mortal woman. There’s also Shippo who is an adorable little kitsune. And I think I got everyone.” the girl looked at her board before smacking it again as she noticed Luffy had begun to doze off while Ace had totally fallen asleep. 

The action alerted the two boys to wake up at once and glare at their older sister. And then, a silver haired undead man with a flying blue cat landed on the floor of the ship. “Thank goodness we found you. C’mon. We got a mission and you and your ‘Team Natsu’ have a job request from the old man and a princess.” 

“So Hisui and Bartra both agree to have us do something, but what is this so-called mission?” asked [Y/N]. 

Ban smirked. “We’re fighting slave-trading pirates.” 

“I want in!” Luffy cheered.

[okuraiani]

Ikemen Revolution – Oliver Knight Route Part 1

Okay, Oliver’s route came out today, so I got right into it as soon as I could. I know that some people want to play it but can’t, because they don’t understand Japanese. So I tried to jot down appropriate translations while I read the first part. My knowledge in Japanese is also very limited and fragmented at most, but even though there are bound to be a ton of mistakes, I think I caught the gist of most of the lines. Don’t mind if I took some liberties in the translation here and there, though.

So if you are interested and not afraid to spoil the story for yourself, please read this first part if you like.

PART 1 CHAPTER 1

My prince isn’t riding on a white horse. He spouts all kind of insults, and appeared in front of me walking on foot. Wearing a high-quality silk hat, he takes on the form of a 13-year-old boy.

A few days have passed since my life with the black army began. With a shovel in hand I was in the barrack’s garden with Sirius.

[Alice] “Sirius, is this enough for watering them?”

[Sirius] “Yes, that’s enough.”

Sirius narrows his eyes to the flowers that were bathed in plenty of water.

[Sirius] “They are properly watered up to the edge of the flower bed. Thanks for your help.”

(I’m glad he’s pleased with it!)

[Alice] “What should I do next?”

[Sirius] “Well, can you put 5 seeds into this opening?”

[Alice] “Are those flower seeds?”

[Sirius] “No, they are Brussels sprouts. Luka said he wants to put them into a soup.”

[Alice] “Wow, I’m looking forward to that! If it’s a soup Luka makes, it surely will be delicious.”

Every night, Luka’s home-made dishes line up on the table and make me smile when I eat them without fail.

[Sirius] “Right, Luka has told me it’s a recipe you’ll like.” “He wants to make it again, so tell him later if you like it.”

[Alice] “Of course!”

(Everyone is so kind...)

Like Sirius, who invited me to take care of the flower bed so I won’t be bored.

(It’s not only the executives, even the soldiers ask me to join them so I won’t be worried.)

That’s why I wanted to thank the Black Army for their kindness.

[Sirius] “By the way, Little Lady, are you gradually getting used to living in the army?”

[Alice] “Yes! Since I’ve come to know everyone well.” “Moreover, it’s more peaceful than I thought.”

(I wondered what would happen when the Red Army declared war on the Black Army, though.)

There has been no movement since that day and there is no sign that the Red Army will attack.

(It would be nice if I can return to London without anything happening until the next full moon.)

I wished for that while sowing the seeds and applying soil, when...

[Fenrir] “Hey, old man.”

[Alice] “Wah!”

Fenrir’s face suddenly pops up behind Sirius’ back and I involuntarily let out my voice.

[Sirius] “Who’s an old man? Target practice seems to be over.”

[Fenrir] “That’s right. So, won’t you go on a date with me now, Alice?”

[Alice] “A date!?”

[Sirius] “... Fenrir.”

[Fenrir] “It’s just a walk. Come on, I’m going to go ask regarding ‘that matter’.”

[Sirius] “Oh, that one. Don’t forget to pass the letter along the way.”

[Fenrir] “Will do.”

(I wonder what ‘that matter’ is?)

I was puzzled as Fenrir thrusts his hands into his pockets and bent his body towards me.

[Fenrir] “You’ll understand if you come along.” “You are pretty much tired of being stuck in the barracks, aren’t you?”

PART 1 CHAPTER 2

[Fenrir] “You are pretty much tired of being stuck in the barracks, aren’t you?”

(Oh, so he talked to me, so I won’t be bored.)

Living in the barracks was nice, but the truth was, I secretly wanted to go around and take a look at Cradle.

[Alice] “Is it really okay if I come along?”

[Fenrir] “I don’t mind. Let’s go to our unique genius inventor together.”

[Alice] “A genius inventor?”

[Fenrir] “You two already met, didn’t you? The tiny guy who wears a silk hat.”

(He means...)

-FLASHBACK-

[Oliver] “Don’t treat me like a little kid, stupid.”

-FLASHBACK END-

[Alice] “Are you perhaps talking about Oliver?”

— at the same time.

[Oliver] “Achoo!”

In a seasoned house located at the corner of the Central District, the sneeze of a small hatter sounded.

[Blanc] “Oh my, did you catch a cold?”

While holding a sandwich for lunch, Blanc the White Rabbit leans his head over the table.

[Oliver] “You’re wrong. Of course, it’s because someone is gossiping about me.”

[Blanc] “It’s good if it is only that. But tell me if you feel ill.” “You were up until late last night, so I’m worried.”

[Oliver] “Until late at night? That’s just your imagination.”

[Blanc] “You can’t fool my ears. However small the noise is, I won’t miss it.

Oliver shrugged as he put a thick slice of cheese between two pieces of bread.

[Oliver] “Even though you’re already an old white rabbit.”

[Blanc] “Hmm? Did I hear you say Carrot Cake for dinner would be nice?”

[Oliver] “Stop it! Don’t let even the name of that repulsive orange object leave your mouth!”

[Blanc] “Even though carrots are so tasty.”

[Oliver] “Now listen, you...”

Without caring about the dissatisfied gaze aimed at him, Blanc takes a sip of his hot tea.

[Blanc] “That aside, you seem to be busy recently.”

[Oliver] “Well, there is a deadline coming up soon.”

[Blanc] “I really wish you could hire an assistant.”

[Oliver] “I wouldn’t have any trouble if that were possible.”

PART 1 CHAPTER 3

[Blanc] “So you do have the intention to hire one.”

[Oliver] “Only the intention, though. But in reality, there is no one who would want to work as an assistant for a child like this.”

Oliver wipes his mouth with a napkin, as he jumps down from the high chair.

[Oliver] “Thanks for the food.”

The eyes behind the glasses quietly watch over the small back heading back into the garage.

[Blanc] “I think there is someone who would like to, though.”

— a few hours after leaving the Black Barracks.

(Wow, that’s so cute!)

The place I went to together with Fenrir was a lovely house that looked like it came right out of a fairy tale.

[Alice] “This is Oliver’s home?”

[Fenrir] “To be exact, this is Blanc’s house. Oliver is just a freeloader.”

[Alice] “So he doesn’t live with his parents.”

[Fenrir] “Come to think of it, I have never seen Oliver’s parents.” “And Blanc is more like someone from the Red Territory...”

Before Fenrir could ring the entrance bell, the door opened from the inside.

[Blanc] “I thought I heard voices. Welcome, Fenrir and Alice.”

[Alice] “Good afternoon, Blanc!”

[Blanc] “I knew that you were taken in by the Black Army, but you seem more energetic than ever.”

With a smile on his face, Blanc draws closer in long strides.

[Blanc] “I want the lovely you to always smile like that.” “And moreover, don’t you think a smile, as if it were magic, will boost your cuteness even further?”

[Alice] “Uhm...”

(What should I do? I have trouble coming up with an answer!)

Becoming flustered when the words are delivered one after another, Fenrir throws a glance into the inside of the house.

[Fenrir] “Say, is Oliver home?”

[Blanc] “He is. Although he is holed up in the garage right now.” “Let’s stop talking while standing and go inside.”

(Thank goodness...)

[Alice] “Well then, excuse me for disturbing.”

(Amazing, there is lots of beautiful antique furniture!)

When standing next the others inside the living room and gazing at the old but tasteful furniture, Fenrir took out something from his pockets.

[Fenrir] “Blanc, I have a letter from our staff officer for you.”

PART 1 CHAPTER 4

[Fenrir] “Blanc, I have a letter from our staff officer for you.”

Blanc accepts the letter presented to him.

[Blanc] “Oh, it’s the attendance roster for the farewell party. Thank you.” “Incidentally, there are some things I want to check on—”

(Are they perhaps talking about work?)

Noticing my gaze, Blanc pointed to the back of the house.

[Blanc] “Lady, I am sorry, but could you go to the garage over there and call Oliver over for me?” “I have some excellent carrot jelly. Let’s make tea for four people.”

(Carrot jelly? It’s the first time I hear of it, but it sounds delicious!)

[Alice] “I understand. Please leave it to me!”

As per Blanc’s request I knocked on the garage’s door, but there was no answer.

(I wonder if it’s okay to go inside?)

[Alice] “Excuse me, I’m coming in.”

When opening the door with a rattle and entering the garage...

(Huh!?)

There were packages lined up messily, seeming to cause an avalanche any time soon. As I peek inside, I could see a child’s back in the middle of the packages.

[Oliver] “London bridge is broken down, My fair lady...”

(Wait a minute, this song... It’s a song from London, right?) (So even in Cradle there are people who know about it.)

After listening to him humming in a good mood for a while, I came back to my senses with a start.

(This won’t do. I was asked to call him over.)

[Alice] “Uhm, Oliver—”

The moment I took the first step, something jumped out of the shelf next to me...

[Alice] “Eek!?”

The object crossing my field of vision caused me to lose my balance and fall on my behind.

In that instance, the piled up packages swayed slightly.

(Huh? No, no no no!)

A: “Oliver, run!” B: “Oliver, there’s something in here!” C: “Oliver, help!”

[Oliver] “You’re so noisy. What on earth—”

The next moment, the packages caused an avalanche, tumbling to the floor and flashily whirling up the dust.

(Oh shoot! Are they broken!?)

[Oliver] “... hey, little girl.”

PART 1 CHAPTER 5

[Alice] “!”

When I noticed, Oliver was looking down at me with sharp eyes. At the air of intimidation that didn’t fit a child at all, my heart starts to thump heavily.

[Oliver] “Aren’t you brave, breaking my inventions after entering my workshop without permission?”

[Alice] “Inventions?”

[Oliver] “The wreckage scattered about at your feet.”

When I look down, some parts have jumped out of several boxes.

[Alice] “I’m— I’m so sorry!”

[Oliver] “Muu Muu, that’s also your joint liability.”

(Muu Muu...?)

At the end of his demonic gaze, a cute flying squirrel is clinging to the desk. When Oliver reaches out with a slender hand, the flying squirrel escaped at once.

[Oliver] “What a quick-to-escape fellow.”

(So the things that jumped out earlier was that flying squirrel.)

[Alice] “Is he your pet, Oliver?”

[Oliver] “No. He’s just the former inhabitant that has settled in the garage.”

[Alice] “I see… He is cute.”

[Oliver] “Don’t try to distract.”

[Alice] “Mm!”

Suddenly, strong-minded eyes moved closer to my face.

(Huh? What?)

When I try to escape, Oliver puts his hand on the wall, cornering me—

[Oliver] “So, how are you going to take responsibility for breaking my inventions?”

(He is so close!)

As he stares at me with big, clear gray eyes, the tension increases.

[Alice] “I’m really sorry! I want to compensate you, but I have no money that is valid in Cradle...”

[Oliver] “Don’t worry. I have no interest in taking money from brats.” “Instead, you can pay with your body. How about it?”

(With my body... wait, what!?)

[Alice] “Do you understand what you are saying!?”

[Oliver] “If I didn’t, I wouldn’t say it, would I?” “First of all, how about you show me what you’ve got?”

I was so surprised that I could hardly find any words to say to Oliver, who raised the edge of his lips.

(This kid... What a precocious brat!)

[binary5tar1117]

Paint the Roses White - Ch. 3

Written by: @i-live-so-i-love​ and @kimlinebiased

AO3 Link Here!

Relationships: main VMin, side NamJinGi, side HopeKook


Genres: fantasy, angst, smut

Tags: Alice in Wonderland AU, smut, fluff, angst, alternate universe, bottom!Taehyung, top!Jimin, violence, abusive parents, shapeshifter!Taehyung, barebacking, alcohol use, side HopeKook, sideNamJinGi, implied drug use, more tags added as necessary

Summary: Jimin’s life sucks. He’s miserable, beat down, and tired. That is, until a mysterious boy with purple hair and a dangerous smile slides into his life and turns it upside down. The White Queen is ruling and drinks are on the house in the Hat Trick Lounge. Caterpillar is missing and the Prince of Hearts is ready for a war, if only he could figure out where his damn rabbit ran off to again…

Word Count: ~10.1k+ (updated biweekly)

A/N: If you’d like to be tagged in chapters, please send either @kimlinebiased or myself a message or DM off anon - we will add you to a tag list so you never miss an update! Alternately, you can subscribe on AO3 for an email when a chapter is posted!

A/N2: We are anticipating a biweekly upload schedule! This may vary on the day week to week due to just general real life things, and if anything big changes we’ll try to let you know.

Jimin woke up face first in the dirt. He groaned. There was a sharp sting in his upper arm and his muscles ached like he’d run a marathon. Memories of the last few hours flooded his mind. He shot up, looking around. He was on a dirt road through a forest, it stretched on in either direction as far as he could see. Off in the distance he could just make out a blonde figure disappearing over the horizon.

“Hey!” Jimin called after him.

Panic clutched at Jimin’s throat. He had no idea where he was or how he got here because what just happened couldn’t possibly have happened. He had no idea how to get back home. There wasn’t even anyone around to ask for help. Tears burned behind his eyes. Worst of all, he had let Taehyung down. He’d lost the drive.

He wiped his eyes with the palm of his hand. He didn’t have time to cry over it right now.

He poked at the hole in his dress shirt. The red stain spreading looked worse than it was. The bullet had only grazed him and not even that deeply. Since it was ripped and stained anyway he tore the sleeve off and tied it around the wound. It was the best he could do for now.

He took a deep breath and stared down the road to his left where Rabbit had disappeared. He could see a smoky haze in the sky; the other way was nothing. He shrugged. Something was better than nothing.

As he walked along the path he took in the trees around him. They were different than he was used to. He couldn’t exactly pinpoint why. The leaves were a little too green and the branches never quite angled the way he expected. Still, they were pretty and it let Jimin relax a little.

An odd crunch under Jimin’s foot made him pause and look down. He lifted his foot and underneath were shards of the dark pearl Rabbit used to bring them here. Jimin’s stomach dropped. Would he be able to get home without it? He crouched to pick up the pieces. Maybe it could be fixed.

As he stood up a woman’s voice behind him made him turn.

“Oh Oyster! Come and walk with us!” She stood in the middle of the road, closer than he would have expected. She was dressed head to toe in black, her black and purple hair pulled into a high tight ponytail. Her wide set eyes glittered, a cruel smile curving her red lips.

Before Jimin could respond another voice spoke from the direction he had been facing a moment ago.

“A pleasant walk, a pleasant talk.” She was dressed the same at the other woman in all black, the same smile across her face.

“We’ll talk of many things,” the first woman said. She had gotten closer, nearly in arms reach away now. Jimin could see a collection of knives along her waist.

“Of shoes and ships and sealing wax.”

“Of cabbages and kings.”

They circled him threateningly. Jimin crouched, prepared to defend himself but not liking his odds against their knives.

“Of why the sea--” The second woman dropped her stance and put her hands on her hips. “Hyuna, can we just kill him and be done now? I’m bored of this already,” she whined.

“You’re bored of everything, Jiwoo. There’s a reason you’re called a walrus.” The one named Hyuna clapped her hands and made a barking noise.

“That’s a seal, you fool. I still want to kill him.” She drew a long ivory dagger from behind her, raising it threateningly.

“Whoa! Kill me?” Jimin squeaked, raising his hands in a weak defense. “For what?”

“Don’t play dumb. We know what you are.”

“I’m Jimin! Park Jimin. Please! I just want to go home.”

Jiwoo hesitated. She glanced at Hyuna.

“You can’t be. It’s impossible.”

“Please!” Jimin tried again. “I didn’t mean to come! I just wanted the drive. See?” He held out the broken pearl. Hyuna swore, yanking the shards from his palm.

“You fool!” She hissed, her eyes glinting dangerously. It reminded Jimin of Taehyung. “Why would you break this! It was the last we had!”

“You know why he broke it,” Jiwoo said, wiggling the dagger. “He’s an Oyster.”

“I’m not! I’m just a guy!” Jimin cried.

“His hair,” Hyuna said softly, her dark eyes searching Jimin up and down. Her nose twitched, catlike. “And he doesn’t smell like the Oysters.”

“Could be a disguise. They know about us.”

Hyuna stepped closer to Jimin. She tilted her head, her eyes widening a little as she searched his face. Jimin couldn’t hide the gasp that slipped from his mouth when her eyes shifted in front of him, tiny, catlike slits taking the place of her previously round pupils. She blinked, her eyes returning to normal. “I can’t figure out what he is.”

“I’m just a guy. Park Jimin. I was born in Busan, I-- I live alone with my dad, I work in a call center for Christ’s sake. I just want to go home. I didn’t mean to get tangled up in all this! Taehyung gave me--”

“Taehyung!” Jiwoo cried. “What of Taehyung?”

“I-- We--” Jimin’s cheeks burned hot. “I met him,” he mumbled, not wanting to risk outing Taehyung by accident to these two women.

“We shouldn’t kill him,” Hyuna said. Jimin sighed in relief. “Yet,” she added, smirking at him. Jiwoo pouted, a strikingly innocent expression on her beautifully deadly face. “Why?”

“There’s something wrong here. I can smell it. We should take him to the Hat Trick.”

“Then can we kill him?”

“As soon as the Prince gets a good look at him, yeah, we’ll open him up and take out the pretty pearls.”

Jimin’s stomach twisted painfully at the delightful noise Jiwoo made at Hyuna’s promise. Much to his relief, she sheathed the dagger, but withdrew a set of handcuffs. Jimin stepped back, wondering if he had a shot in hell of escaping.

“It’s gonna be best if you just come with us, Oyster,” Hyuna warned. Jimin felt the prick of a knife along his side. He tensed. “We’re not the untrained kittens you’re used to dealing with.”

Jimin swallowed audibly. “Just put the knife away. I’ll come,” he whispered.

“Knife?” Hyuna chuckled. She raised her hand, revealing sharp claws in place of her previously blood red manicured nails. “The knives are just for show… My paws work so much better.”

Jimin cried out in surprise, stumbling away from Hyuna, and directly into Jiwoo’s arms. “Gotcha!” She teased, laughing as she slapped the cuffs on his wrists. She grabbed the center metal links and began to walk, all but dragging Jimin along behind her.

Hyuna followed along behind them, her steps so silent that Jimin could scarcely hear them. As they walked toward the hazy end of the road that Rabbit had disappeared from, Jimin couldn’t help but wonder if he was being led to his salvation… Or his doom.

Jimin wasn't sure how long or far they walked. The road seemed to never change. At first he had tried asking questions but Jiwoo snapped at him. He may need his tongue to answer questions, but he didn't need all his fingers. He didn't think it was worth risking whether she was bluffing since they weren’t answering them anyway. So he remained silent.

Jiwoo and Hyuna occasionally chatted as they walked. Jimin guessed they were close, sisters maybe from the undertone of bickering.

At no sign Jimin could see, Jiwoo turned and hauled him into the bushes. Jimin dug in his heels, suddenly terrified they were dragging him into the woods to kill him. “Wait- I thought you were taking me to someone? To answer questions.”

“We are, stupid Oyster. Didn't you see the sign?” Jiwoo gestured impatiently behind him.

Jimin turned and there was now an incongruous neon sign reading “Hatter & Hare’s Hat Trick Lounge”.

Further down Jimin could see other signs: “Mock Turtle’s Fashion Boutique”, “Lobster Quadrille Dance Studio”, “Golden Nile Crocodile Spa”. When he looked back the way they had been going there was still nothing.

“Let’s go.” Hyuna pricked him in the back to get him moving.

Jimin stumbled through the brush until they landed on a path narrower but parallel to the one they’d left. This one wound through the trees in loops and branched. Some paths continued further into the woods and some ended abruptly. His guards led him down the closest path. As they approached a wooden door popped into existence, light brown and inviting. Jimin blinked. He could see around it to the other side but Hyuna knocked, clearly expecting an answer.

“Why is a raven like a writing desk?” a voice called through the keyhole.

“Jae, if you don’t let me in, I swear to god I will cut your fucking balls off.”

The door opened and a heavy drum beat poured out. A tall man with round glasses leaned against the door. Behind him was a dark room with distant flashing lights. Definitely not the woods Jimin was standing in. “What’s the point of a secret entrance if you don’t have a secret code?” Jae said, exasperated.

Jiwoo dragged Jimin through the door and shut it. The woods disappeared and Jimin was now in what was clearly a storage room of some kind. Wine barrels lined one wall there were rows of shelves with boxes of varying sizes.

“Who’s this? New recruit?” Jae nodded at Jimin.

“An Oyster Hyuna wouldn’t let me kill.”

Jae’s eyes widened.

“I’m not an Oyster. I don’t even know what that is. I’m just a guy!” Jimin tried to insist. The others ignored him.

Jae looked him over. “But his hair.”

“And what about yours?” Jiwoo cocked her head, annoyed.

Jae ran a hand through his fading pink hair. He opened his mouth to retort but Hyuna cut him off.

“Enough. Go get Jin so we can sort this out and be done? Grab Taehyung if he’s around too.”

Jae nodded and left with a backwards glance at Jimin.

The beat of the music from the other room was almost hypnotic, a rhythm that Jimin could feel in his bones. He took the opportunity to look around the room, searching for any clue as to where he might be. The wine barrels were stamped with varying numbers that Jimin couldn’t make heads nor tails of. There was a strawberry sweet scent all around them, implying at least some of the alcohol was fruit flavored. The boxes on the shelves were labeled with various words, glasses, bottles, corks, labels, etcetera. What was clearly the name of the place, the Hat Trick Lounge, was emblazoned on the high wall above the barrels.

Jae returned, a bottle of light pink liquid with a label of a jumping rabbit in his grip. “Jin wants you to take him to the lounge. He and the rest are there.”

“Who are the rest?” Hyuna asked.

“Hatter and Rabbit. Taehyung’s off chasing mice or whatever the hell you Cheshires hunt.”

Jiwoo swiped the air in front of Jae’s face with her claws. “Come a little closer and I’ll show you what we hunt.”

Jae rolled his eyes, smiling good naturedly. Jimin wasn’t sure how he wasn’t wetting himself in the presence of these two.

“Hush your hissing, Jiwoo. Doesn’t become you. Go on.” He nodded toward a door Jimin hadn’t seen before. As they passed, Jimin looked at him pleadingly. Jae smiled and shrugged helplessly. He knocked back another sip of his drink and wandered into the darkness on the other side of the room as Jimin was pulled through the door.

Jimin found himself in the middle of a room with no door and no windows, save for a rose colored glass roof that allowed sunshine to filter through. The centerpiece of the room was a rich cherrywood table, littered with the same rabbit labeled bottles that Jae had been holding, as well as a few half full bowls of brightly colored cookies and sweets. There were two leather loveseats and an easy chair surrounding the table, broken in and worn to the point that stuffing was sticking out in some places. On one of the easy chairs was occupied by a tall, slender man. He wore a hot pink baseball cap, bright orange hair sticking out wildly. The sides of the cap pushed his ears down so they folded over, adding to the overall crazy appearance that his flashy, patched and stitched together clothing already implied.

The love seat next to him was occupied by a strikingly beautiful redhead. He wore a leather jacket and a pair of jeans ripped in various areas to show his knees and thighs. Jimin’s eyes widened when he realized the man’s hair matched his own in vibrance and shade. He paid Jimin and his captors no attention, his focus on Rabbit, who had his head in the redhead’s lap. He was stroking his fingers through Rabbit’s soft white hair, his plush lips curled up into a quiet smile.

“You!” Jimin cried.

The two men on the couch looked up and Rabbit’s mouth dropped open in surprise.

“You! What are you doing here?” Rabbit asked, sitting up.

Jimin scowled. “What do you mean what am I doing here? I followed you.” He took a step toward the couch but a hand wrapped around his injured arm painfully tight, claws digging into his skin. “Give me back the pen drive and send me home!”

Rabbit looked more confused than ever. “Followed me? How?”

Jimin opened his mouth to retort but the redhead cut him off.

“Namjoon, who is he?” He spoke calmly and quietly but there was an air of command to his voice.

Rabbit, who’s real name must have been Namjoon, turned back to the redhead. “Park Jimin,” he answered with a significant look. “Taehyung’s boyfriend.”

Jimin blushed. “I’m not- we’re not-”

The redhead stood up and stuck out his hand. “A friend of Taehyung’s is a friend of mine...usually.” His full lips curved into a smile. “I’m Kim Seokjin. Most people around here just call me Jin.” Jimin shook his hand awkwardly in the handcuffs, slightly bewildered.

”Oh, we can take those off.” Jin gestured for Hyuna to uncuff him.

Jiwoo pouted. “He’s really Taehyung’s boyfriend? We don’t get to kill him?”

Jimin blushed again at her phrasing. It had only been one night.

“He had the drive with all the information on it and he was trying to protect it with his life.” Namjoon smiled at Jimin. “He’s on our side.”

Jiwoo made an unhappy hissing noise.

“Sorry, you’ll have to find someone else to sharpen your claws on. Rook and Bishop might still be out there,” Jin suggested.

Once Hyuna was done uncuffing Jimin, she grabbed Jiwoo by the shoulders and steered her out a door that appeared as they turned. “Come on. Let’s go find Solbi-unnie and Adora-unnie for a drink before we head out.”

“Sorry about them.” Jin said once the door disappeared again. “They, uh, enjoy their job a little too much. Especially Jiwoo. But they are good at it.” He gestured for Jimin to take a seat.

Jimin hesitated. “How do I know I can trust you? If you’re friends with Taehyung, where is he? Can I talk to him?”

“I’m sorry Jimin. He didn’t realize how close he was being followed when he gave you that thumb drive. He’s still in hiding trying to shake of a couple Oysters.” Jin hurried to add when he saw Jimin expression, “he’s okay. He’s let us know that he’s safe. He just doesn’t want to risk coming back to the hideout and giving us away until he’s sure it’s safe. Sit please.”

Jimin finally did.

“You look like you need a drink.” The orange haired man leaned forward to pour some of the pink liquid into a clean glass and hand it to Jimin. “I’m Jung Hoseok, the uh,” he flicked the brim of his cap and grinned, “hatter of Hatter and Hare’s Hat Trick Lounge.”

Jimin peered into the glass considering whether it was safe to drink. It smelled sweet and refreshing. “So he’s hare then?” Jimin nodded at Namjoon.

All three burst into laughter.

“He wishes,” Hoseok muttered, shoving Namjoon playfully. “No. Hare is-”

“Hoseokie-hyung! Why did you miss my dance?” A tall half clothed young man with pink hair and fake pink bunny ears on his head appeared behind Jimin. There was still no door so Jimin wasn’t sure where he came from.

The man marched across the room and climbed into Hoseok’s lap, straddling him. “You said you’d be there,” he pouted, wrapping his arms around Hoseok’s neck. “You never miss a dance.”

Hoseok rubbed over the man’s bare thighs and shiny pink shorts. “I’m know baby. I’m sorry.”

“Jungkook.” Jin’s voice cut into their not so private moment. “We have a guest.”

Jungkook turned, cocking his head at Jimin. His eyes narrowed, his nose scrunching. The action lifted his top lip enough to reveal the peek of his front teeth, giving him a very bunny like expression. Jimin couldn’t hide the smile that slid onto his face despite everything. The guy was cute, he had to admit.

“Who’re you?” Jungkook asked.

“I-- Park Jimin.”

“I’m Jeon Jungkook. JK.”

“Or the March Hare,” Namjoon added, jutting his thumb toward the wall. Jimin spotted a calendar hanging. It was open to March’s image, which just so happened to be Jungkook in his bunny ears and nothing else. A basket full of goodies was the only thing hiding his goods from view.

“March. Got it,” Jimin said.

“Is he why you missed my dance?” Jungkook asked, turning his attention back to Hoseok.

“Unfortunately no. I wish it was that simple. Some business to discuss with Jin-hyung.”

The pouting smile disappeared from Jungkook’s face. “Resistance information?”

Hoseok nodded.

“Fill me in?”

“Of course. Entertain our patrons?”

“Always. Jae-hyung is cracking bad jokes for now, it’ll only be so long before the guests start throwing fruit at his head.”

“Ah, well, better go soothe the crowd then. Keep those ears cocked for any Queen news, yes?” Hoseok stroked one of the ears playfully. Jungkook nodded, his strikingly innocent smile returning.

He slid off Hoseok’s lap and leaned over, pressing a kiss to his mouth. He turned and bowed to Jimin. As he darted out of the door that disappeared in the blink of an eye, Jimin couldn’t help but notice the way the young man had stared at his hair. Even in this world, he seemed to stick out. With one exception.

“Is your hair real?” Jimin asked, turning his attention toward Jin.

The air in the room seemed to thicken a little. “Yes,” Jin answered after a moment.

“I’ve never seen another person with hair like mine unless it’s been dyed. Even then…”

“Well,” Jin smiled a little, glancing over at Namjoon. “That’s likely because I’m not a human. Not really.”

Jimin snorted. “Very funny. What is this stuff?” He asked, tilting his glass a little.

“Wine. We make it ourselves. Strawberry flavor.” Hoseok said. Jin reached out, snagging his own glass and taking a sip.

“We’ve no reason to poison you, Jimin. You weren’t meant to get involved, but you aren’t in danger.”

“Well your hitmen out there made it pretty clear that wasn’t the case.”

Jin shrugged. “As I said, they’re just… Excitable. They have a lot of justice to seek. Unfortunately, their revenge tends to come at… Inopportune moments. They won’t harm you, not without my approval.”

“What’s so big shot about you?” Jimin asked.

“Hey.” Namjoon’s tone was sharp and warning. Jin smiled still, setting a hand on Namjoon’s thigh and giving it a gentle squeeze.

“Relax, baby. He doesn’t know. Taehyung told him nothing. For good reason. He likes you - he clearly wanted you protected… He’ll be disappointed that you ended up here.”

“Easy fix,” Jimin said, “send me home.”

“We can arrange that. Not right away though. The Oysters may still be looking for you and I don’t want to risk sending you, or any scout I send with you, falling into their hands. Please. For your own protection. You saw what they were like.”

Jimin touched his injured shoulder. “I did.”

“Then stay with us tonight at least. We’ll send you home tomorrow. My word is everything in this room.”

“That… Might not be so easy,” Namoon said softly.

Jin glanced over at him. “Why not?”

“I… Lost the pearl.” Namjoon’s voice was soft, his head hung.

“Namjoonie,” Jin whined, putting his hand on his forehead. “Please tell me you’re joking.”

“No. I was in such a rush. I thought the Oysters were coming and I just took off, I-- I’m sorry, Jin-hyung.”

“Well, I’m sure it’s still on the path. It’s relatively unused except by our troupe. We’ll just go find it. Send Hyuna - she’s got a bloodhound’s nose.”

“The pearl?” Jimin squeaked. “Small… Shiny… Black?”

“Yes.” Jin said hesitantly.

“It’s… Those girls already have it. I had it when they found me.”

“Excellent.”

“Not so much,” Jimin said, rubbing the back of his neck. “I sorta… Stepped on it. It’s shattered.”

“No.”

Jimin winced. “Can it be fixed?”

Jin slumped down, burying his face in his hands. He made a small noise of frustration. Namjoon’s shoulders slumped, his entire body seeming to sink in on itself. “We’re fucked,” he mumbled.

Jimin glanced around, panic rising in his throat. “What’s going on? What’s so important about the pearl? Someone, please--”

Hoseok sighed softly. He rose and paced to the other side of the room. He took off his pink cap and donned a black fedora with various colored feathers.

“The pearl is the key to your world, Jimin-ssi. Without it, we can’t get there.”

“Well, can we get another one?”

Hoseok turned back to Jimin. “No. They are in limited supply… And the royals that we are at war with have them. The Rook and the Bishop, the Oysters you met… They’re assassins of the Royal Army. We are their enemies.”

“The Royal Army? The-- Where am I?” Jimin asked softly, almost dreading the answer.

Hoseok smiled, broad and bright as sunshine.

“Oh, rude of us, accept my apologies. Welcome to Wonderland.”

[the-sapphire-general]

Episode Ardyn (Part 4)

Hey! Heads up, the next part may be delayed a little since I have things to do on Saturday. Just letting you know. Anyway, I’m still fooling around, but also focusing on the guards. lol I know, I know, the Citadel is my next destination, but I promise I’ll go there in the next video. At this rate, I’m addicted to being a villain! XD

Ardyn is floating! Well, he looks like it. He’s not standing properly.

Ardyn swag!

Yeah, still trying to get him to run, but then he suddenly sees breakable objects or guards. lol He does run, I know how to make him run, but when guards and objects are nearby, he swings his weapon on his own. XD

Jogging, burning calories. lol

His sword went through the ground!

Ardyn: *grunts* !! Must you be so rude?!

Exploring the place.

Die bitches!! 

Yay! Hat shop!

Ardyn: I look dashing, don’t you think? *winks*

Ardyn the Mad Hatter!

One of my favorite moves! I just love it so much!

Crazy antics follow when I go after a guard.

Okay I did this by accident, but I went along with it even if it wasn’t a guard. lol

A nice shot at his wing. Wait, so it materializes on his outfit?! Okay then! The more you know.

I didn’t expect multiple guards for the next location. Boy, did they throw me around like a dummy. Also, the camera is annoying at times!! Geez, it’s stupid sometimes.

Run Ardyn!!!

Keep running and think of a plan!

A deadly plan...

The recording was supposed to end right after the intense battle, but these guys kept showing up! lol

But the session later ends. Ardyn deserves to relax. Where’s Ifrit though??? lol Imagine Ifrit sitting down, taking a break too.

Yeah, this is a bit slow now, but I’m trying my best. I want to kill all the guards, take down the big guards, and get all the hats. The items don’t really matter much, but it helps me with getting money for stuff. So yeah! Expect more fooling around and more battles next time.

Final Fantasy XV DLC - Episode Ardyn - The Vengeful One (Part 4)

Bonus:

Cool! I got a trophy! I’m such a badass!

And another one! Wait, are these my first trophies for Final Fantasy 15 in general?! I don’t recall getting any trophies, though I probably did, but it’s been ages. I’m so proud of myself!

[jiminimization]

Caraval

Pairing: Jimin x reader

Wordcount: 4.8k 

Warnings: slight mentions of abuse and violence

A/N: Hi, friends! New fic blog here. I’m super excited to share this mini series with all of you, and finally get this blog running! I’ve loosely based this story off of the Caraval series by Stephanie Garber. Happy reading~ 

Synopsis: Every year on the seventh day of the seventh month, game master Legend and his magical performers visit one town within the kingdom of Serene for five nights. The grand games of Caraval sweeps all of its players into a whimsical quest for the most elusive of prizes: one wish granted by Legend himself. Bound by the iron laws of your masters, you have never dared to venture out of your wretched tavern and past your humble hometown to join the games until now. Until the year that Caraval comes straight to you. Until notorious performer Park Jimin offers you a chance for freedom.

 Caraval’s magical hat shop sits in the midst of a bustling alleyway filled with various street vendors and musicians that blend themselves within their melodies. Out of all the bricked buildings lit with bright lanterns and dancing fireflies, the light seems to evade the hatter’s shop. Instead of the regular bursts of lilac, jingling bells, or a touch of silver, the exterior of the hat shop is simply decorated with seductive shades of red roses.  

A symbol of the Caraval game master, Legend himself.

As a somewhat experienced player nearing the end of this year’s games, you’ve come to terms with the constant presence of roses throughout your once dull hometown. At first, you were too afraid to even look at the petals, paranoid of being influenced by another one of Legend’s countless illusions. In the past three days that you’ve been a player of the game, you’ve experienced your fair share of false realities.

You’d dreamt of the wretched owners of the tavern you’ve slaved for. Their figures stalked the halls of Caraval’s boarding house, calling your name with a whip in their hands. You thought you saw your dead parents on the Carousel of Dreams. Your father was waving, a perfect smile on his face, while your mother was reaching out towards you. As soon as your fingers moved to grasp hers, she and your father had vanished right in front of your eyes.

After those deceiving visions, you’d think you would stay away from Min Yoongi’s hat shop. But time has proven to be your worst enemy. The last night of the games remains, and you have yet to find the last clue to win.

Though the sight of Legend’s roses sends prickles down your skin, you know better than to pass on a hint as vital as this.

Inside the hat shop, the dim lights barely illuminate the collection of merchandise that line the wooden floors. The room is deafeningly quiet. The kind of silence that would drive anyone mad if they stayed too long in it.  Getting to the front counter is reminiscent of navigating through an impossible maze, and once you finally manage to locate the owner, you are met with a pair of curious eyes and a secretive smile.

You’ve heard from the other players back at the boarding house that hatter extraordinaire, Yoongi, likes to deal with his customers in riddles.

You were instructed to tread around him carefully, as he will with you.

“Welcome, Miss Y/N,” Yoongi tips the brim of his top hat in greeting. His dark eyes narrow expectantly as if he’s been waiting for your visit all night. “Have you happened to have seen my jade ring lying around somewhere in my shop?”

The first challenge of the night. A small quest in exchange for a chance.

In your haste to overcome your nerves, you’d forgotten to pay close attention to your surroundings as you’d entered. There’s no doubt that the sly hatter would have planted his “lost ring” somewhere among his creations. Panic quickly blooms in your chest. Yoongi is not known for giving second chances. If you answer him incorrectly, you will lose your only chance at gaining tonight’s clue.

Fool.

You should have listened to Jimin when he had warned you before. The sudden thought of him strikes a chord in your chest, and as if sensing the emotions churning inside of you, Yoongi leans forward with mild intrigue.

“Well?” the hatter raises a brow. He casually slides his hands into the pockets of his long coat, the fabric as dark as night itself.

The action is subtle, barely a whisper of a hint, but your eyes lock onto his with a renewed ferocity.

Yoongi does not back down. A smirk tugs on his lips, his gaze flickering down your dress to where your handsewn pouch dangles snuggly over your left hip. Any other woman would have thought that Yoongi was simply being scandalous. A sinister look representing sinister thoughts.

But you know better.

You clumsily fumble for your pouch, reaching inside the open slit to the very bottom where your fingers wrap around a small and solid object.

Grinning for the first time tonight, you hand Yoongi his prized, jade ring.

“Impressive.”  he nods approvingly, slipping the ring on his index finger. As soon as it touches his skin, the colors on the stone shift into lively shades of emerald, olive, and delicate seafoam. Colors that oddly suit the enigmatic hatter. “Now that you’ve earned your favor, how can I be of service?”

Taking a breath, you steel yourself for your bold answer.

“I want to know how to win the game.”

“Ah,“ Yoongi doesn’t look the least bit surprised by your request. “Don’t we all?”

“I need to win,” you insist, pressing him further. You attempt your best to look earnest. “I must win the games. I’ve never wanted anything more than to escape this crummy town and my hell sent masters.”

“I do admire your iron will,” Yoongi hums thoughtfully. “I take it that you are absolutely sure?”

Frowning, you hesitate before the hatter. Of course this is what you’ve wanted. For years, the only dream you’ve ever known was to see the world past the horrid and dreadful tavern you called home. The empty days you spent staring out of the window of your tiny room in the attic, watching enviously as people freely roamed the streets. That once unattainable dream is now within your grasp. Yoongi should be able to feel how strongly you want this.

“I’m absolutely sure.” you say.

Inclining his head, Yoongi nods in confirmation. Carefully, he adjusts the ring on his finger, moving to start tapping on his marble counter. His fingernail sets a cadence, a strong rhythm that captures your full attention.

The hatter’s voice dips dangerously low.

“Everyone has their own desires,”

Tap, tap, tap.

“some are as strong as your will to emerge as the champion. Others are hidden deep within us.”

Tap, tap, tap.

“But what if I told you that there is a possible divergence? Another way? A path that strays from what you’ve thought to have known all along?”

Tap, tap, tap.

The tapping grows louder in your ear, though Yoongi does not appear to be putting more force onto his finger.

“Would you take that chance? Or would you leave it up to Fate itself?”

The tapping ceases.

In a blink of an eye, two items appear right before you on the counter. One is a bonnet. A pretty little thing made of luxurious chiffon and streams of lace, woven with blue colors that resembles hope and dreams achieved. Next to the bonnet is a top hat. Black, simple and bland in its design. The insignia stitched into the center of its body speaks of thorns and broken hearts. The symbol of Legend’s rose.

Yoongi’s personal top hat. You hadn’t noticed how and when it had disappeared from his head, but it’s here now, practically begging for you to claim.

Despite the temptation, you know the correct answer here is the bonnet. It practically radiates victory. Take it, and you win Legend’s wish. That much you can sense. But the seductive pull of the top hat--the mystery and feint promise of painful yet breathtaking love--is almost impossible to ignore.

Without warning, Jimin’s face flashes before your eyes.

“Have you made your choice?” Yoongi inquires. His smug smile suggests that he’s caught you in the act of your secret fantasy.

Swallowing heavily, you release a shaky breath. All your life, you’ve lived a life full of cowardice and hesitation. Too weak to rebel against the snares of your abusers. Always afraid of what comes after breaking those chains that have imprisoned you to a hellish life of chores and endless beatings. Up until joining the games, you’ve only dreamed of a better reality for yourself. You’ve merely thought about the idea of what it means to truly live.

You will not make the same mistake again.

~~~

Stupid, stupid, stupid.

The word races across your head as you hurry back to the boarding house with Yoongi’s top hat tucked secretly under your arm. The full implications of what you had just done did not completely set in until you stepped foot outside of the hat shop.

You should have taken the bonnet.

The original plan was to go against everything that Yoongi had said and resist his trickeries. You’d promised Jimin that much. But as you cross the threshold of the large mansion, creeping past the boisterous bar to take the stairs and to your suite, anxiety and regret settles at the pit of your stomach.

What exactly have you done?

“What in God’s tarnation have you done, Y/N?”

Jimin echoes your thoughts when you reach the door to your suite, finding Caraval’s most handsome performer leaning against the floral walls. As usual, his honey blonde hair is combed through with precision, the curls of his bangs stopping just above his eyes. The tie of his velvet jacket is crooked and messily undone.

Worry creases his brows, an expression that you can never quite get used to. The first time you met Jimin, he was everything but kind and warm hearted. He cockily walked into the room as if he knew everyone’s little secrets. He was always smiling, though it never reached his cold eyes. Girls pretended to faint at his feet in hopes of catching his attention, but Jimin’s heart seemed to have been made of the toughest of diamonds. Apart from casually flirting with other players as a part of his act, Jimin did not cross any boundaries.

Until he’d saved you on the first night of Caraval.

That was the first of many times that he would continue to guide you through the game.

“Please don’t tell me that the top hat you’re holding is your clue.” Jimin whispers.

“Jimin,” you deadpan. “This top hat is my clue.”

“Y/N please,” Jimin groans, the exasperation heavy in his voice. “I’m not sure if I can take the jokes and light banter as of now.”

“I am certainly not in the mood for bantering tonight either.” you grit through your teeth. “I’m being serious.”

The deep rooted fear must have resurfaced onto your expression, because at once, Jimin is taking your shoulders in his hands.

“Tell me what happened.”

“I had a choice,” you try not to notice the warmth of his hold and his proximity as you speak, the way your back aches to curl forward into him even more. “Yoongi also presented me a bonnet. I know I shouldn’t have chosen the top hat. Its dark energy was practically spilling out, but something came over me. I don’t know what, maybe I was possessed or bewitched, but I-“

You stop, remembering how Jimin’s features had flashed before you just before you’d made your choice. His broken, but deep pair of eyes. His slightly crooked noise. His boyish smile. His hollow cheeks that only blush with color when he offers a genuine smile.

Devastatingly beautiful.

You’d wanted it all. You’d wanted him for yourself.

Flushing deeply, the realization shocks you to your core. Hidden desires. Was this what Yoongi had meant? Has the game changed the state of your heart? Enough to sway the kind of choices you make?

You shake your head in disbelief.

“But what?” Jimin’s grip on your shoulders tightens. He begins to speak faster, his urgency near palpable. “You are aware of what the rose means. How the rules of the game have the tendency to change. For all we know, that top hat might not be the clue at all. Just what on Earth made you pick Legend’s symbol of deception?”

“It was you.” the words come out choked, a rushed confession triggered by your adrenaline.

“Me?”

Jimin’s releases his hold on you, his hands dropping to his sides. Devastation mars his porcelain face. Though you’d just partially admitted your hidden feelings, Jimin believes that you see him nothing more than just another one of Caraval’s illusions.

Oh, how utterly wrong he is.

“You need to understand,” you plead, voice barely above a whisper. “I don’t think that you’re trying to fool me. Though once, at the beginning of the game, I might have thought otherwise.”

“Then tell me why you thought of me when you picked that hat,” Your insides knot in various directions at Jimin’s unwavering gaze. “I want to understand, Y/N.”

It all seems so painfully obvious.

You wish that he could help you in wording your thoughts. Jimin always seems to have the correct answers to all. He knew what to do when you’d seen the false images of your parents before they died. He knew how to cross River of Nightmares on your third night in the game. But this is something only you know the answer to.

Only you can tell him what your heart holds, yet how will one of Caraval’s performers, a professional actor at his best, react to one of his players having fallen in love with him?

Simply absurd. For him, it would be nothing new. Jimin has most likely turned down more maidens than you can ever imagine, maidens throughout the kingdom of Serene and far beyond. What difference would it make if he had another to add to that list?

It was foolish to fantasize about something more. You did not have the luxury of doing so in the first place.  

“It was nothing,” you blurt, instinctively turning to reach for the door leading into your suite. “I must’ve been tired and mistaken.”

Jimin grabs your wrist before your fingers can wrap around the doorknob.

“Don’t,” he whispers. “Don’t open that door if you only plan shut it on me.”

You swallow heavily as he looks down at you, a storm of pain clouding his eyes. Even if Jimin is the greatest actor of his time, wielding emotion to his advantage, the amount of vulnerability in his voice rings true.

“The top hat shows you your greatest fear,” he reveals, making your breath hitch in surprise. Finally, you understand why he seems so adamant to hear your explanation. “Why are you afraid of me?”

“I’m not afraid of you,” time stutters as you hesitate for the briefest of seconds. “I’m afraid of how I feel about you.”

Oh blasted stars and heaven and hell.

Your loud mouth seems to be your greatest enemy tonight.

You expected Jimin to laugh or mock you. Perhaps even offer that devilish smirk he often shows to particularly infatuated women.

Jimin does neither of these things.

Instead, he stares back at you, shock and wonder swirling in his eyes, before darkening to something so intimate it makes you shiver despite the layers of dress hidden beneath your coat. His hand slides down to your waist, possessive in action, yet extraordinary gentle when he pulls you flush against his chest. The top hand in your grip is crushed between your bodies, though you could now care less about what happens to it.

The rest of the world blurs in your vision. It sharpens only at the focus of Jimin’s face, the shadow of the nightlamp above receding as he draws even closer. From here, there’s nowhere left to hide.

“I would really love to hear a more elaborate explanation on these unsaid feelings,” Jimin muses. “And if you’re as afraid as you claim to be… allow me to disprove that fear.”

“Jimin!” you gasp as he pulls you even closer. “Let me go. Immediately!” you attempt a weak push against him. You’d meant to sound more authoritative, but your throat is suddenly suffering from a dry spell. Jimin’s arm only tightens around you in response.

“You’re not resisting hard enough.” Jimin grins, effectively countering your weak demand.

You say nothing, though the heavy flush that rises past your neck and to your cheeks betrays your silence.

“I assume you won’t believe anything I’ll say next either.” Jimin raises a brow.

“If I’m not mistaken, I’m speaking with the smoothest flirt in Caraval,” you harrumph. If you can’t win against him physically, then you will use your words. “It would be easy for someone like you to take sweet talk anybody to oblivion.”  

“Someone like me was to play a very specific role,” Jimin admits. “I was to guide you past the River of Nightmares, then present you your first clue. That was all. My role for you was supposed to end on the first day of the game. The rest of my nights were to be spent loitering around town entertaining other players. But since we’ve met-“ he stops himself, confliction tugging at his lips before continuing. “I find myself lingering here. With you.”

You draw in a shaky breath as his eyes flicker down to your lips, an irresistible heat building in the pit of your stomach.

“You broke your rules of the game just for me?”

You’re not quite too sure what to believe anymore. A hazy fog has engulfed your head, like being captivated in an endless dream. If this really is one, you never want to wake up again.

“Since you stepped foot in this mansion, my rules no longer enticed me.” Jimin’s lips are now mere centimeters away from your own.  

His pull is intoxicatingly hot. The heat that had started in your stomach and traveled to your face now meets halfway in the middle, building in your chest at a near scalding temperature. A feverish sweat threatens to break across your upper lip.

You can imagine yourself closing the distance between your bodies at any minute, except a bursting question in your head prevents you from doing so. Particularly the way Jimin had worded his last statement. Enticed. A peculiar way of wording it, as if he was mocking the consequences of the game.

He had been referring to the script that the performers of Caraval are bound by. Attempt to break them, and a wall of magic will simply prevent the actors from deviating too much from their roles. This sacred rule to is not to be taken lightly. And yet, Jimin spoke as if he hadn’t a care in the world. As if he knew a dangerous secret about the games.

Straightening in his arms, you narrowly avoid Jimin’s incoming lips.

“Jimin-“

A splintering crash, followed by a loud thump and several screams, rudely interrupts you.

At once, Jimin is pulling away, alarm overtaking his features. Gone are all signs of flirtation and reckless honesty.

“Did that just come from the bar?” he’s already making large strides towards the stairs at the end of the hall.

A familiar shout amongst whatever commotion brings you back to your complete senses.

“I’m coming with you.”

“Don’t!” Jimin whirls around, and you nearly crash into him. “Stay in your suite and get yourself some rest. You’ll need it for the final night of the game. I will go alone.”

“And you expect me to sleep in the middle of all this hubbub?” you hiss. “No. I recognize who that voice belongs to, and he could possibly be in deep trouble. You said so yourself. The rules of the game have the tendency to change. And if Legend is using my friend as a form of a clue…I  simply won’t allow it.”

Groaning, Jimin senses your determination and sighs.

“Fine. But whatever may happen, please, Y/N. Listen to me this once. Avoid the trouble and whatever may happen…do not let go of that hat.”

Though you nod in agreement, protectively tucking Yoongi’s top hat under the crook of your arm, a foreboding twist in your stomach threatens Jimin’s earnest request.

~~~

Downstairs, the chaos of the crowd eventually dims down to a hushed, collective murmur. You and Jimin arrive just in time to catch the aftermath of the loud noises. Several chairs and tables are overturned. Broken glass is scattered across the floor. Players and performers alike cling onto the walls, staring on with wide eyes. The entire room’s attention is turned towards the center of the room, where a young man has threateningly gripped the bartender by his collar.

You recognize both men instantly.

The bartender, of course, is Kim Seokjin. The first performer you came across in Caraval. Aside from his tasteless and somewhat outdated jokes, you find that you quite like the man. He is obviously well versed in liquor, adding hints of magical ingredients to his drinks such as rainbow-colored strawberries and garnishes of sweet and spicy lemon. His exotic and outlandish style suggests that he often enjoys deviating from what can be considered ‘the norm.’

On the other hand, the man twisting Seokjin’s collar is quite the opposite.

Widely known in your town for being the most temperamental, most of the villagers steer clear of Jeon Jungkook. It was not until recently—just two months before the first night of the games—that you began to consider Jungkook as a close companion.

Though he does indeed intimidate a majority of the town, Jungkook’s hot temper had saved your life one day when he’d visited the tavern. Under the impression that you had stolen a few coins from a customer who’d refused to pay for his meal, the tavern’s manager had beaten you down to your knees. Just as he was about to land the finishing blow, Jungkook had stepped in from the men’s room, boiling anger sending his fist straight to your master’s jaw.

After pulling you to your feet and escaping to another part of town, Jungkook did not expect your gratitude or an explanation. He told you his desperate situation instead, a never-ending search for the tragic loss of his older brother, Hoseok, who had went missing a year ago without a trace.

Jungkook had experienced the same kind of abusive treatment from his parents before he and his brother ran away from home. Witnessing you and your abusive manager had triggered a hurricane of memories within him. While Jungkook was successful in temporarily halting your manager’s weekly beatings, he was unable to save you completely. You were found by word of mouth, and soon, your master came for you to drag you back to where you belonged. Still, Jungkook had convinced you that there was at least one person in this world who was on your side.  He had been the one who told you about Caraval’s visit.

Though you haven’t known him for long, you know enough to assume that Jungkook is playing in the games to find his lost brother. And as the game comes close to its end, he has become restless, and in turn, so has his frustrations.

“Gentleman,” Jimin has made his way up to the front of the bar, peeling the two men apart. “It troubles me to remind you that this isn’t the time nor place for such violent conflicts.”

“Is it too late to mention that he started it?” Seokjin says, popping open a button on his shirt as he gasps for breath.

Jimin sends him a stormy look in warning. It’s too late, however. Jungkook has already been rekindled.

“Say that again,” Jungkook snarls, fist clenching as he glares at the bartender. “I dare you, old man.”

“Old man?” a furious, pinkish red climbs its way up Seokjin’s neck and to his ears. “Why this son of a monkey! You arrogant bastard! We’ll see how your oh-so-young cocky little face will fair with my iron fist!”

“Oh, boo hoo,” Jungkook feigns a whine. “The old man’s suddenly picking a fight like a newborn babe. Would a pacifier help your temper? Maybe a cotton diaper to catch your piss after I knock you back to your senses?”

“By the end of tonight, I will personally deliver your nasty little tongue to your mother’s doorstep.”

“While you’re at it, you can tell her to kiss my-“

“ENOUGH!” Jimin roars, his unexpected outburst making the onlookers jump and squeak in surprise. “One more word out of either of you and I’ll bring Legend himself to cut both of your tongues out and feed it to the starving dogs. I swear it.”

Though Seokjin and Jungkook continue to glare at each other, both men wisely decide to shut their mouths.

“And YOU,” Jimin stares pointedly at Seokjin. “I expected another stellar performance from you tonight. But to come down here to this mess? Maybe your training has failed you and calls for your immediate replacement.”

“Oh, cut the drama, Ice Prince,” Seokjin snorts. ”As if Legend would replace me, his most handsome and skilled bartender in all of kingdom Serene.” The crowd laughs, now relaxed and once again able to enjoy the bartender’s antiques. Some onlookers are already beginning to exit the room or resume their places at the remaining upright tables. Other performers move busily to clean the mess Jungkook had made.

Turning to the famous delinquent, Jimin casts a curious gaze at him.

“Why did you start the fight?”

“Because this bastard fooled me into thinking he’d give me tonight’s clue.” Jungkook jabs an accusatory finger towards Seokjin.

“In my defense,” Seokjin interjects. “You haven’t completed the entire quest. I had asked you for your greatest desire and you refused to give me the truth.”

“I did give you the truth! How many times must I say it? I only want to find my lost brother.”

“Well?” Jimin raises a brow at Seokjin.

The bartender shakes his head.

“Oddly enough, I sense that’s not what he truly wants.”

Growling, Jungkook’s anger once again threatens to break through the surface. “Listen, old man, I think I actually need to knock some sense into you. What else here could I possibly-- wait. Y/N?”

Jungkook’s eyes finally meets yours as he searches the bar for an answer. Raising your hand a bit awkwardly, you wave to him in greeting.

“Hey, Jungkook.”

“Aha!” Seokjin exclaims, closely watching your exchange. “So you want the girl, eh?”

Horror floods your face as Jungkook’s jaw drops in disbelief. Behind him, Jimin looks as if he too might land a punch on Seokjin’s (admittedly) handsome face.

“I don’t want the girl, you complete imbecile!” Jungkook groans. Sighing, he meets your eyes with some consideration. “Though I do want her to win this game just as much as me.”  

Touched by his unexpected kindness, you can’t stop the smile that blooms on your face.

“How romantic.” Seokjin giggles, and this time, Jimin actually does smack the back of the bartender’s head. Though it may just be your imagination, you think you might’ve seen an annoyed muscle tick in his jaw.

“Not helping, Jin.”

“A little romance in the game never hurts,” Seokjin laughs gleefully, loud and boisterous in one moment before turning serious in the next. “Though I think we’ve also found our solution.”

Pointing at the forgotten top hat in your hands, Seokjin brings the men’s attention to Legend’s iconic symbol.  “The Top Hat of Death can confirm what Jungkook is looking for.”

“I’m sorry,” you blink, bringing the hat closer to you protectively. “I must’ve heard you wrong. Did you just say the Top Hat of Death?”

Nervously, your eyes dart over to Jimin. He shakes his head back at you, confusion tugging at the creases on his forehead. You were under the impression that the hat revealed your greatest desire. Jimin believed the top hat revealed your greatest fear. Both of you must have been mistaken.  

“The name of it suggests exactly that,” Seokjin nods. “The dark magic within the top hat is what makes it the most powerful and dangerous part of the game.”

A sickening feeling worms its way into your stomach like the beginnings of a virus. You’d thought about Jimin’s face right before choosing the top hat. You can’t bear to look at him now. If Seokjin is telling the truth, you may be up against a more horrible predicament.

Beside you, Jungkook raises the unsaid question.

“And what does the hat do, exactly?”

“You have to understand that it’s all part of the game,” Seokjin warns. “Legend doesn’t really want anyone dead. However, the final clue comes with the final quest, and this year, that means slaying the villain in the game.”

“So the hat shows you who the villain is?”

“Well, yes. And no,” the bartender shakes his head. You rigidly stand there, somewhat disconnected from your body as your mind attempts to process whatever Seokjin was trying say. Though you don’t have to mull over it for much longer. “It shows you exactly who, in turn, is capable of killing you.” 

[theabominableblogger]

My Reaction to “Gotham” S4E16

ONLY TWO MORE OF THESE TO GO, KIDDIES!

The rest of these reaction posts I’ll be uploading are not chronological order.  They’re like that because A) college and B) more college.

My sister watched it with me (as well as the other episodes left in my epic “Gotham” reaction series) so my comments will be in bold, and hers will be in regular font.  Author’s notes courtesy of me will be bolded and italicized.

Also, quick warning (and probably obligated to say this), we don’t like Barbara’s storyline.

AN:   I managed to record our reactions to this episode and hopefully I can transcribe what I said into this post. 

*Lee shoots Sofia in the recap*  Oooooohhh!!

But she’s not dead though, apparently!

*sighs*  Nobody’s dead on this show...

And he’s [Jerome] alive!

*flatly*  Was there any doubt.

Meanwhile, at Arkham Asylum...

*The Arkham guard turns on her Walkman*  Oh, this is never a good idea...

*starts slow jamming out to "Fool For You” by Alice Smith*

Yeah headphones are required...

Ohhhh OK...

Because!  *points excitedly at screen when Jervis appears*

*scoffs in hilarity when Jervis tries to talk to the guard, who can’t hear him*

What.

*gasps when one of the guards pops up behind the main guard*

“Tortuga!  You almost gave me a heart attack!”  Tortuga?

*shrugs cluelessly*

*Tortuga slices the guard’s neck*  Ooooooohhhhhhh!!

Jesus God!

Jervis, I like your shorter hair much better.

Tortuga.... *claps hands*  THE MOCK TURTLE!

OH MY GOD!

YEAH!

Wha- oh my God...

*jaw drops in excitement when we see Scarecrow*

[Jervis] I LOVE YOUR NEWSPAPER HAT!

That’s a different actor [playing Scarecrow].  That’s not Charlie Tahan.

*chuckles*  He’s [Scarecrow] experimenting in his toilet.

Did he just put a whole bunch of that sodium stuff in his freaking toilet?

That thing is gonna get blown right off the wall in a matter of minutes.

I know!

*Scarecrow pours that crap on a lock*  Holy shit!

That’s all you were doing with that?!?

*Cue Jerome*  EEEEEEEEEEYYYYYYYY!!!!!

Ohhh dear.

EEEEYYYYYY!!!

“When I [Jerome] say ‘three hairs past a freckle,’ gentlemen, I do not mean five hairs past.”  *both immediately smile*

“Boys, boys, let’s not squabble too early in our partnership.  There will be plenty of time to stab each other in the backs later!”  *both chuckle*

“That’s the spirit, boys.  Think big- and kinky.”  *done*

“And lose the weirdo.  She’s [Tortuga] giving me [Jerome] the heebie jeebies.”  *trying her absolute damndest not to laugh*

*laughs*  Stop calling us out!

*both yell in horror when Tortuga slices her own neck*

“Now, to free the rest of our cronies and blow this pop stand.”  WELL DANG!

It’s “Popsicle stand,” you cretin.

*laughs*  He don’t know that.

If you’re gonna insult me, do it properly.

WHO’S THE LOSER WITH THE DRUMS?!?

I KNOW, I LOVE THAT DUDE!!!

*both crack up at Jerome going down the aisle and making stupid faces at other inmates*

Ohhhhh, he’s great.

*jams out to opening theme*

“How many got out?”  “87.  The entire violent ward.”  *jaw drops in shock*

“Yeah, we’ve rounded up most of the serious nutjobs; they’re the guys that think they’re walruses or what not.”  *both immediately do finger guns at screen*

EEEEEEYYYYYYYY....

Any carpenters in there?

Please tell me there’s gonna be more Benedict Samuel.  Two minutes of that guy, and I already love him.

*chuckles*

Like he’s not the Jervis Tetch I know and love, but he’s entertaining as hell.

He’s very good!

Yeah, Benedict Samuel’s real voice sounds nothing like that.  It’s like stereotypically British.  But not Cockney, just British.

AN:  WHAT?!?!  HE’S ACTUALLY FROM AUSTRALIA?!?

*smiles*

“All right, listen up!  If I’d [Jim] have known I’d be seeing your ugly mugs tonight, I’d have stayed in the hospital.”  *both chuckle*

Ben McKenzie directed this episode, I forgot!

I take it that means we’re in for a good one.

AN:  Yes.

“Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim!”  *laughs*

JIM JIM JIM JIM JIM JIM JIM JIM JIM JIM JIM JIM JIM

“Do it, OR I’M [Jervis] GONNA KILL SOMEONE!  In case you have any doubts.”  *both crack the hell up*

I shouldn’t be... God, he’s good!

“Let’s go.”  Here we go go go go gooooo!

"You [Jim] said we had to have each other’s backs tonight, right?”  Yes!

“So what, we’re [Jim and Harvey] either idiots, or we’re hypnotized?  Good choices.”  *both laugh*

Oh please tell me this is the episode with Harvey being awesome.

Uh, that’s the next episode.

AAAAUUUUUGGGHHHH!!!

*Jervis meets Jim with a hypnotized couple*  SON OF A BITCH! 

Who the hell are they?!?

*so done*  A random married couple!  Because in the previous season, Jervis was all like “Oh, Jim, what are you worried about?  Your love life?!?” and I’m like “SHUT UP!”

“Lo and behold!  The bold Captain Jim Gordon, and his rusty caboose in tow.”  *chuckles*  ‘Rusty caboose in tow...’

*giggles*

Dude, look at that scarf [that Jervis wears]!

Do you recall when I [Jervis] first came to this fair city, Jim?  A bawling mess, wanting nothing more than to address the safety of my dear sister Alice?”  :/

“You gave me NO CHOICE!”  *tries not to laugh at the SUDDEN YELLING*

“I was willing to give you any life you wanted, just to keep you out of mine.”

*Jervis gives the command to drop the wrecking ball*  Ooohhh..

Oh shit-

*both yell and reel back in absolute horror when the couple gets squashed*

*both still in :O for a good minute or so*

He [Jervis] drives off!  *laughs*

I DON’T KNOW WHAT THE HELL I JUST SAW!

That just killed the moment, just him randomly driving off.

I don’t know what the hell I just saw!

I don’t know either.

That was kinda awesome!  I’m not gonna lie!

*Bruce and Selina enter the precinct*  Yaaay!

The dynamic duo.

Yaay!

*laughs*  She [Selina] just growled at him [Bruce]!

Ooooohhhh I like that [Barbara’s] office.

I like her hair.

Season 4:  the season of Booze ™ !

*chuckles*

There’s just so much booze in this season!

*sings*  Alcohol... my per-ma-nent accessory...

*mouths while aggressively pumping hand holding phone in air*  Shots shots shots shots!

[Barbara] Don’t mix pills with booze.  Don’t do that.

“He [Ra’s] brought me [Barbara] back to life.  We’d never even met.  Why choose me?”  Because he brought you back to life?!?

Are you two [Barbara and Tabitha] still going out or like what?  What’s the situation here?

*shrugs*  I guess...

What’s the situation here?

Friends with benefits?

I guess...

*chuckles*  I don’t know...

*gasps when we get a flashback of Barbara’s death in S3*

Oh shit!

WHY HER THOUGH?!?  That is my question!

That’s a great shot though [of Ra’s reviving Barbara], I have to say.

What the hell...

*Ra’s brings out the Lazarus water*  Oooo-oohhhhhhh...

Is that from the Lazarus pit?!?

I think that’s from the Lazarus pit!  Yeah, ‘cause it’s like a neon color in this show!

Oh my God!

*Ra’s revives Barbara*  There we go.  That explains it.

So you can drink in it rather than bathe in it in this continuity.

Yeah.  I mean, you can do both.

*Barbara is resurrected*  Ohhh!

Oh shit!

“Oh, what a vital, poisonous little mind you [Barbara] have.  And yet, everybody hates you for it, don’t they?”  I don’t think that’s why they hate you.

“You are just the one I’ve been looking for.”  :/

“You [Barbara] shall become the Demon’s Head.  The League of Shadows will be yours to command, an army of assassins.”  *rubs head in frustration*  Ohhhh, are we doing this again... ohhh....

They’re not talking “Oh, Dark Knight!”  That’s later.

[Ra’s] You’re gonna hand the League of Assassins over to her [Barbara]?!?

I know, I don’t like it either.

WHy?!?

I don’t know.

That sounds stupid.

“I’m [Barbara] OK.”  No you’re not.

*The remnants of the married couple*  Oh my God.. those are just dummy parts sticking out of the bottom!

I mean, it was effective.

Yeah.

It was hella effective!

It was very effective!

“Midnight, right?  That’s less than an hour.”  Midnight?  Why is it always midnight?  *chuckles*

*shrugs*

“’Fliers become die-rs.’”  It’s like in “Lovers and Madmen.”  He rigged all of those people to jump to their deaths.

Ohhhhhhhhh!!

*slaps knee*  And it’s like in “Mad as a Hatter” [in Batman:  The Animated Series], when he told those guys to jump in the river!

*gasps*  Yeaahhhhh!  Oh my gosh!

AN:  Also, I highly recommend the comic “Lovers and Madmen.”  Different interpretation of the Joker but still pretty solid and also quotable.

*wheezes when Bruce tries to give Detective Harper money to protect him*

*tries not to laugh when Bruce starts to fake cry*

*laughs when Bruce pulls a Stealth Hi-Bye on Harper*

Bruuucceee!

*gasps and claps hands*  His [Jervis’s] theme in the background!

*jaw drops when it’s revealed that a lot of rooftops are lined by people ready to jump*

Ohhhhhh shit.

“Your ego, Bruce.  It’s huge.”  *tries not to laugh*

“Get over yourself.  It’d make you a little easier to be around.”  *both try not to laugh*

Oh...

Oh shit!

Oh... oh-

*Bruce ends up opening the door for Selina instead*  Oh.

*groans in frustration*

That’s not a hug, I’m just getting the door for ya!  *laughs*

*both laugh at Selina’s little giggle*

That little giggle, oh my God!

“You don’t owe me [Bruce] anything, Selina.  You never did.”  You two are adorable!

They’re cute!

“Geez, there’s a lot of gum under here!”  *chuckles*

*whispers*  What?

Ew no no no-

Oh no no-

*both yell loudly in disgust when Jerome eats some ABC gum*

You are crazy!

*chuckles*

“Jim,  it’s happening all over the city.  Thousands are climbing up roofs!”  How many people are in this freaking city?!?

Probably at least a couple thousand, I’d say.

“He [Jervis] must’ve commanded them [the drivers] to change the station so that we couldn’t find him.”  How complicated are these commands?  It’s like explaining Kilgrave’s powers.  Did he tell them to do that or...

“Ugh, it’s that song I [Harvey] hate!”  *chuckles*

*jams out and sings along with “Foolish Pride” by LAB*

“Just right!”  Oooh, broccoli cheddar [soup] though.  Good choice.

“Mamma Mia!”  *both start singing “Mamma Mia”*

“What was the special ingredient again?  Ah, right.  It was my [Jerome’s] hand.  The one you [Uncle Zach] dipped in a boiling pot of chicken stock!”  *both bug eyes*

“That smell, it was ...mouthwatering....”  *shakes head in disgust*

You are disgusting, dude!

“I [Zach] set out three bowls of soup, nephew, so I’d have enough for all my guests.”  [Crap]

*small gasp when the strong man drags Jerome out of the booth*

Ooh shit!

“The ‘just right’ soup is for him.  The ‘cold’ is for me!  I always loved gazpacho!  The ‘too hot,’ that’s for you, nephew.”  Ohhh shit!

Oh he’s gonna heat it again!  Damn!

*jaw drops when the microwave starts shorting out*

Isn’t this the Iceberg?!?

No, it’s her [Barbara’s] lounge.

The Sirens, right?

Yeah.

*All the lights go out*   Ooooooohhhhh!

Shit!

“We’re [the League] here for the Demon’s Head.  Where is he?”  “She.... is right here.”  I call bullshit.

It’s a flashlight.  I could make a joke out of that but I’m not going to.

*gasps when Hypnotized!Harvey knocks out Jim*

“Hickory, dickory, dock.  The copper went up the clock.  The clock struck 12, he fell pell-mell, and that was it for the cop.”  *in unison*   Noooooooooooooo.....

Ohhh dear.

*Zachary takes out the boiling soup for Jerome*  Oh no.

*gasps when Zachary prepares to pour the boiling soup on Jerome*

“Here, nephew, have a taste of one of my three soups!”  *in shock*  Roll credits!

AN:  The name of the episode actually came from in the writers’ room.  Tze Chun came in having ordered 3 soups and Charlie Huston (the writer of this episode) said “I’m gonna put that in the script” and Tze Chun went “Yeah, right.”  Welp.

*both yell in horror when Zachary pours the soup down Jerome’s throat*

OHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

OOOOHHHHHHHHHHH!!!  [Jerome] You’re gonna have welts all over your face for a month, dude!

“No one deserves that.”  “You tell ‘em!”  *both have to stifle a laugh*

That is a very Joker moment, I have to say.

“Let him [Jerome] go... and get rid of the kid [Bruce].”  *bug eyes*

*Bruce throws a bunch of plates at the strong man*  Ohhhh shit!

Did he just No-Sell a porcelain plate to the face?!?

Yeah, he just did!

*both jaws drop in horror when Jerome finds the gallon of bleach meant for him*

He [Zach] was gonna poison his nephew!

“She’s [Barbara] got the Demon’s Head.  Ra’s chose her.”  “She doesn’t even know what it is.”  Fair point.

I don’t know what that haircut is.

Whose haircut?

That dude’s!

He doesn’t have any hair!

Exactly!

“Women serve in the League, but they do not lead.”  “That’s now a law, just a stupid tradition.  Ra’s chose her.  We need to honor his choice.”  Barbara’s like “Yes, random lady, I accept you!”

*gasps when Barbara takes out the male League member who tried killing her first*

“Anyone else want a shot at the title?”  Everybody does.

“Here comes the airplane!”  *tries not to laugh*

“Got it.  Lost it.  Write it down!”  Me in school.

*giggles when Jerome looks over at Bruce still fighting and does a quick second of fake shadow boxing*

*Jerome kills Zach*  :(

“Boy billionare Bruce Wayne, my [Jerome’s] savior!  Wow, I did not see that one coming.”  *both chuckle*

“Really makes a man wonder... what the hell is wrong with you?!?”  :[

*sighs*  Ohhh dear...

*claps hands when Jim finds Jervis at the radio station*  Let’s go!

How is he doing the whole hypnotizing thing?

It was over the radio.

Yeah, I know, but what does he use to do it?

He has a ticking mechanism.

Oh.  Does he always keep that on him or what?

He always has that [pocket watch] on him.  He goes “Look into my eyes and listen.”

Wait, if they can’t look into his eyes, then-

It’s the noise.

Oooohh kay.

It’s the stimuli.

*both yell and reel back in horror when Jim shoots Jervis’s hand*

What the hell was that for?!?

OK, here’s the thing:  he [Jervis] got shot in the freaking hand!

And it’s like nothing!

I will say though, the rhyming integrated in with the dialogue is done really well!

*in unison when Selina comes to save the day*  EEEEEYYYYYY!!!

*Bruce finally knocks out the strong man*  Oooohhh.

“Selina, huh?  Well isn’t that a nice name...”  Go to hell.

*Selina pulls a gun on Jerome*  Ohhh.

“Uh, uh, uh.  She’s not that kind of girl.”  Wanna bet?

“Oh, all right!  See you crazy kids later!  Ciao!”  *both crack up*

“Ra’s chose me [Barbara] for a reason, I know it.”  Looks like he was playing you for a stooge.

“You’re all so damn weak.  That’s it.  That is why Ra’s chose me.  Because he knew I would see how pitiful you all are.  Afraid of change.”  Yeah, that’s gonna endear you to them.

*bug eyes when the lights suddenly go out and gunfire ensues*

Shhiit!

Whaaaaaat?!?

What the hell is going on?

*The midnight bells go off*  Oooohhhh...

Noooo... nooooo....

Noooo.... we’re not doing this... noooo....

*both freak out in unison when the jumpers get ready*

*both freeze when there’s absolute radio silence*

“It worked!”  *both let out a huge sigh of relief*

That was good.  That was damn good!

*both giggle when the DJ gives Jim a thumbs up*

*Jim lets out a sigh of relief*  Same.

*Jim and Harvey enter the captain’s office*  That requires... some booze!  No, I’m kidding.

I’d want some booze after that.

OK, yeah.

“You [Jim] need a drink.”  *waves hand toward screen in agreement*

“Squirrels hide nuts for the winter.  I [Harvey] got this for whenever.“  EEEEYYYYYYYY!!!

The hell is that?

BOOOOOOZZEE!

*both giggle*

That looks like scotch.

No, that’s whiskey.  Like Fireball whiskey.  See, Harvey’s the hard drinker.

Yeah.  Gordon looks like he’s getting used to it.

He’s like “It’s dull.  Whatever.” *pretends to take a shot*  It’s like Steve Rogers. 

As long as it’s alcohol.

For glory, for justice-

*in unison*  -for sweet, sweet booze!

“[Jim] You know what I [Harvey] was thinking when I jumped in that car and I was flicking through those channels?  I was thinking ‘I can do this crazy thing.  ‘Cause if it goes sideways, Jim Gordon will save me.”  *both smile*

“Feet of clay are heavy to carry around.  That’s what the whiskey’s for.”  *softly chuckles*

“There are no heroes here.”  I will clink to that!

“Got the Wayne kid on line three.  Something about Valeska.”  Oh dear.

“I’ll see you at St. Ignatius, Jim.  You can yell at me [Bruce] there.”  *softly* Hoooooooo.... hoo hoo....

“Kid in trouble again?”  “More than he can handle.”  Summary of the show.

They put a mouthguard on him [Jervis]!

At least somebody’s gotta shut him up.

*Scarecrow douses a guard with fear toxin*  AAAAYYYYYYY!!!

Scarecrow!

*Jerome in his final costume*  EEEEEYYYYY!!

“How do you like the new threads?”  I like ‘em a lot!

Those are awesome!

*gasps and points excitedly at Scarecrow’s new costume*

“We have fish to fry.  And by fish, I mean faces... or feet... ah, something fun to fry!”  *laughs*

Man, he [Jerome] looks so good.  So does Scarecrow!

I know!  Everyone looks great!

Scarecrow looks amazing!

“ALL ABOOOOAAARRDD!”  Hey look, the Joker hijacks another truck!

And that’s the end of the episode!

Man, that was awesome!

[odderancyart]

All He Had to Give

Wonderland AU

Future Spicyhoney(???)

On AO3

Warnings: Self-sacrifice, future slavery (sort of)

Summary: In the Kingdom of Hearts a pair of brothers live a modest life in the village in the Duchess' Duchy. That is, until one of them gets drafted for the army. And with the war against Spades going on, his chances of survival seems slim. Rus can't let his brother die.

Many years ago, a young boy followed a rabbit and fell into a rabbit hole. Down this hole, he found many adventures and oddities. Grinning cats, mad hatters, a Queen who ruled over a deck of cards. It was a land which obeyed the rule of fiction; only the imagination sets the limits. The boy, who got the title “Alice” – meaning “One Who Imagines” in the local language, travelled through the land. He met countless dangers, but also people who wished him well. Eventually, though, the boy returned home.

Fewer years ago, an army came to the land. An army who wished access to the almost infinite resources of this land. The war was short, and soon, the Queen and King of Hearts were forced off the thrones they once had sat upon as Her Former Majesty ordered the boy’s beheading.

The Alice had returned to Wonderland. This time, he was not a child, nor was he alone.

The Hat House had stood empty for years. Rumours had it he was at the new King of Heart’s side, as an advisor or prisoner. No one was truly sure. All they knew was that the Alice had met him during his first visit here. The dark, top hat-shaped building stood quiet and empty, spiderwebs covering its small veranda. Rus averted his eyes as he passed by, hurrying faster. A shiver travelled up his spine. No one lingered here, ever. Plus, he was already late, having opted to take the route past the March Manor rather than through Bacham. The town swarmed with soldiers. It wasn’t safe to pass through.

He sighed in relief as the Duchy, and the village, came into view. Tiny stone houses, roofs filled with hay or even plants. Their own cottage, complete with a small vegetable garden behind. Smiling, he swept his patched coat closer around himself. It wasn’t much, but it was enough. It was theirs. Even if the Duchess, who had been allowed to keep her position after the dethroning of the old royalty, did enjoy taxing them a little too much. She was quite the sadist. Not that he’d ever say that aloud. Her temper was infamous; she was the former queen’s mother after all. And the Queen of Hearts must’ve gotten it from somewhere.

When he entered the village, the world’s ugliest pig came waddling, grunting at him. He nodded in greeting. It was the Duchess’ son, who they all took turns feeding. It still wore that stupid baby hat it had had when it transformed from a baby to a pig. During the Alice’s last visit. The village was quiet. Rus was on the main road, yet it was almost empty. Only the baker’s wife was outside, emptying a bucket by the front porch. A window squeaked. Loud in the silence. Mrs. Baker tilted her head when she saw him, stepping back toward the door.

“I’m sorry,” she said, her voice low, sympathetic. When he blinked at her, furrowing his brow, she shook her head, stepping back inside again. The sound of the door closing behind her seemed to echo, almost deafening.

For a moment, Rus froze. Unsure what she had meant. Then his eyes widened, and he froze. There was really only one reason the village would be so empty. One reason Mrs. Baker would say such a thing. Blue. His breath hitched. His soul sped up in his chest as he broke out into a sprint. He held his coat closed with one hand, its tail trashing in the wind as he ran. He passed by the bakery, the cobbler, the Dodo’s house. They were like a grey blur in the corner of his eyes. He was focused on one thing only. The narrow road leading toward their cottage.

In one moment, he was running. In the next, he was crashing toward the ground, foot caught in the handle of a pail. A gasp of pain escaped him as his elbows took the hit, but he didn’t take the time to feel. For a moment, he saw two glowing dots of orange in the darkness beneath a veranda. They quickly faded away. Scrambling to his feet, he ran again. His thin soles smattered against the ground, sending flashes of pain up his feet every time he stepped on a particularly sharp stone.

He was gasping when the cottage came into view. His soul was in his throat as he slowed, staring. A carriage was parked outside the fence. Blue stood in the door, gripping the doorframe tightly. Rus could almost hear it crack. And in front of him. He stopped breathing entirely. In front of him stood three men, all dressed in the black and red uniforms of the castle. Of Hearts’ army.

Feeling cold, stiff, Rus forced himself to continue forward. He hunched his shoulders, feeling his hands shake as he opened the wooden wicket. The step into the garden felt a mile long. Four pairs of eyes all found him, and he flinched back. Gripped the wicket hard. Then he met Blue’s eyes, wide and fearful. Swallowing hard, he forced himself to walk up to them, to stand next to his brother.

When their eyes were upon him, he wanted to shrink into the ground. He grabbed his brother’s hand, squeezing. Blue squeezed back. He knew why they were here. So did Blue. Just like everyone else in the village, for there was only one reason royal soldiers would come to the Duchy and not go straight to Her Grace.

“I passed,” Blue whispered, trembling violently. “The fitness test. I’m joining the army.”

Rus shook his head. No. It wasn’t- Swallowing again, he felt tears well up in his eyes. He opened his mouth, but no sound came out. So he just shook his head again. No. Every citizen of Hearts had to do it. There was no faking it – the Alice and his officials always knew if you did, and you’d lose your head, or worse. Rus wasn’t sure what that worse was, and he didn’t want to know. They’d know Blue was in excellent shape, was excellently strong. Good at obeying orders: he didn’t have Rus’ defiant streak. They’d know this day would come. Yet they had hoped.

They were in war with Spades, his mind supplied. Panic crashed over him, making the word spin. He sagged against Blue, who held him up. Steady as always. After Hearts’ defeat to the Alice, the other three kingdoms had armed themselves. The wars were ceaseless. And now- Blue would go into it.

“Get ready,” one of the soldiers said. His voice was indifferent but accepted no arguments. On the right side of his chest, five heart-shaped black medals hung. Evidence of high rank. “We will leave soon.”

“Yes, sir.” Blue’s voice was faint, shaky, yet he moved Rus out of the way before stepping away himself, inviting them in. Into their home. Their haven. The marrow froze in his bones, only for the warmth to return when the soldiers declined.

Not for a moment did his soul slow down. It felt like his entire body vibrated with the force of it, and when Rus looked down on his hands, they were indeed trembling. He watched numbly as Blue moved around their cottage, gathering what he wished to take with him. No clothes, he wouldn’t need them. He would from tomorrow and on be wearing a uniform. Rus tried to imagine it. His sweet, kind brother in the colours of blood and death. He couldn’t. Couldn’t.

His breathing was shallow as Blue threw a satchel over his shoulder, stepping up to him. The world spun, the floor rocked under him. When the other’s warm arms embraced his waist, he inhaled sharply. Hiding his face against the top of Blue’s skull, orange gathered in the corner of his eyes. When Blue let go off him, he scrambled backwards, leaning against the wall. Blue took a step toward the door. Toward the soldiers who would take him away. Take him to war.

“Stop.” The word was out of his mouth before he could even think. Blue twisted around, and the soldiers stared at him. Rus straightened his back, even as he wanted to cower beneath the soldiers’ haughty glares. “Take me. Take me instead, not him.”

Blue seemed on his way to say something, but before he could, a loud laugh came from the soldier who had earlier spoken. He sneered, staring down at Rus like he was a disobedient child. He couldn’t help but hunch. “You? You’d be worthless in the army. Can’t follow orders, couldn’t even do all the exercise at the test.”

Yeah. Yeah, he was worthless in physical areas. He wasn’t strong, he wasn’t persevering. But…

“Not as a soldier,” he said. His voice was steady, incredible enough. “If… if you let my brother be, if he’ll be safe, His Majesty will get me. I’m offering my complete servitude here. One time offer.

“Brother, no-“ Blue began, horrified. What that meant, here in Wonderland. What it meant to give up yourself… Rus didn’t wish to think of it. It meant you gave up all rights to yourself, agreed to let someone else completely rule your life. It was something only true fools did. An unbreakable contract. Yet… Anything for his brother. He straightened again, clenching his fists. Nodded. Yeah, he meant it. The soldier raised an eyebrow, exchanging a gaze with the others. His mouth curled into an amused smile. He looked almost impressed. With his bravery or stupidity, Rus didn’t know. Probably the last.

“Very well,” the soldier finally replied, and Rus could’ve passed out from the relief. From the horror. Something coiled in his stomach, a mix of everything. Worry, joy, confusion, fear, gratitude. “If the King accepts. We will take you to him. And you, Serif. You’re staying here, for now.”

Rus was given no time to gather his things. Was told that if the king accepted, he would be given everything he needed at the castle. When he hugged his brother farewell, there were tears running down Blue’s cheeks, and he was hugged so tightly he couldn’t breathe. “Stupid,” Blue mumbled. “Why would you do that? Stars, brother. I’ll miss you so much. I love you.”

“I know. Stupid, that’s my middle name.” Was it a sob? Rus wasn’t sure. He hugged back, just as hard, before the soldiers gestured for him to come. “I love you too.”

“Please be safe,” he could hear Blue whisper as he left, following the soldiers to the carriage. He only turned around to give his brother a half-smile. He wanted to promise he would, but didn’t. Never promise anything you cannot keep.

…

The journey wasn’t awfully long. It was shorter than what he’d walked earlier today, since they went through Bacham on their way to the capital. Then it was just straight through Hope, and they would reach the castle. As the carriage jolted over Hope’s cobblestone streets, Rus curled up in the corner of the carriage. The curtains were closed, leaving him in the dark. With the cushioned seat, he sat comfortably, yet he could feel the bile in his throat, a pressure in his stomach. Like he was going to vomit.

Suddenly, a two orange lights lit up the darkness. Staring, transfixed, Rus jolted as a toothy grin revealed itself, soon followed by gold stripes over orange fur. Within moments, a cat was floating mid-air. “Cheshire,” he breathed.

The cat rolled around, grin widening. “Indeed,” he purred. Cheshire belonged to the Duchess, although no one fooled themselves into thinking she had any power over him. Not even the King of Hearts himself had, it seemed. Rus had himself spoken with him only once, although his brother sometimes talked about having conversations with him. At the memories, he started shivering.

“This isn’t looking too good, friend,” Cheshire commented, grin softening into a smile. That was a first. The cat was famous for his grin, after all.

Letting out a sharp chuckle, Rus grinned humourlessly. “You think?”

The cat tilted his head, far too much. Rus shuddered as it almost turned upside down. Then, much to his surprise, Cheshire elongated. He watched in morbid fascination how the head grew, how his cat-shape disappeared, growing into something more humanoid. How the tail just got longer and longer. Then, another skeleton sat in the opposite seat. A fancily dressed one, in a black top hat, black three-piece-suit, and bright orange shirt, and black vest. A cane with a cat head-shaped top rested between his hands. Rus stared, unable to believe his eyes.

Cheshire – or who had been Cheshire only moments before – stretched, studying his gloved hand. He was still purring, tail twitching. “Oh look! It was ages since I wasn’t a cat. I had forgotten how weird fingers are.” He turned to Rus, grin growing at his stupefied expression. “Call me Papyrus now! That’s my name in this body.”

“A-alright,” Rus stuttered, unconsciously pressing himself closer to the wall. “Papyrus.”

The skeleton-who-used-to-be-a-cat beamed at him. The orange tail swished slowly, once stroking Rus’ leg. Just then, Rus gasped as the carriage jolted extra, and he left the seat. A low shriek left Papyrus’ lips as he landed on the other’s tail. Papyrus quickly grabbed it, tearing it away. Rus’ eyes widened, and guilt fell heavy in his stomach.

“Oh, I- I’m so sorry-“ he began, voice a lot more shrill than intended.

“Don’t worry about that!” Papyrus interrupted him, although he was still grimacing, stroking his tail. “It wasn’t on purpose. Now, I wonder, why are you here?”

“To keep my brother safe.” It was hardly more than a whisper, the pain crashing back once more. He could still see the horror in Blue’s eyes as they took him away. His soul fluttered anxiously. Imagination, what would the king do to him? If he accepted, Rus would be little more than a puppet. And the King of Hearts, the Alice, wasn’t known for his mercy.

“How admirable!” Papyrus clapped his hands together, far too cheery. Then again, he was still the Cheshire cat, even if he was no longer a cat. Known for his wide, sometimes eerie grin. Did he ever not look happy? “And where do you want to go from here?”

“I- I don’t think I’ve got much choice in the matter.”

“You’ve always got a choice. Perhaps you’ll make the choice to not make a choice but there’s always a choice to make and you’ll make the choice one day. You’ll see!” Papyrus’ grin widened, looking almost smug. Rus stared at him, again. What. Then the carriage abruptly stopped, and Rus was thrown back into the backrest, gasping in surprise. Papyrus tilted his head, glancing down on his clothed wrist. “Oh dear, looks like I’m late for tea. The darling Hatter will be so mad.”

Snickering, Papyrus started to fade away. Before Rus had registered what he’d said, only his grin remained. Then he jumped forward. “Wait, the Ha-“

Papyrus was gone. He was alone.

Not for long, however. The door to the carriage soon slid open, revealing a soldier. This time, it wasn’t one of those who had gotten him at home. Rus leaned backwards, wide-eyed, as his breathing shallowed. His palms were most as he stared at the skeleton in the opening. Dressed in armour black as obsidian, a blood-red cape billowing in the wind behind him, stood the Knave of Hearts himself. The leader of the army. A Wonderlandian; unlike most of the King’s closest, he didn’t come from the Outside. Tales were told about how he’d willingly sold out the King and Queen of Hearts to the Alice.

Swallowing, Rus scrambled up closer to the wall, not daring to take his eyes of the other. His soul raced. A fanged mouth grinned beneath purple eyelights before the Knave’s mouth twisted into a sneer. “Come,” he ordered.

Nodding, Rus slipped out of the carriage so fast he stumbled. He grunted as his knees hit the ground, gravel digging into them. A cold, metallic hand on his shoulder dragged him up on his feet again. The Knave didn’t say anything else as they made their way into the castle. Rus couldn’t tear his eyes away from the scenery. He’d never seen it so close before. Had never thought he would. The heart-shaped arches, the beige walls with red spires. The bushes with red and black roses and the white ivy climbing high on the walls.

Everywhere, servants in uniforms, well-dressed nobles and guards were hurrying. Such frantic activity Rus felt exhausted just by watching it. Still, he had to half-run just to keep pace with the Knave, despite being the taller one. They strode into the castle. People moved out of their way as the Knave’s footsteps echoed through the stone halls, and some frightened gazes were thrown their way. And some confounded, seeing a lowborn such as him in the company of the Knave of Hearts.

Rus wanted to ask where they were going, but didn’t dare. The Knave would probably not appreciate being questioned by him. The inside was just as beautiful as the outside. Blue would have loved this. White stone, magnificent portraits in intricate golden frames, furniture which must cost more than their house. They reached an open door, black and smooth. Just before Rus passed it, a draft passed by and he flinched. A crash. The shattered remains of a white and red teacup fell to the ground. A drop of sweat slid down his brow – had he gone one step further…

“You’re late,” a yell came. Rus twisted around in alarm, only to see Cheshire – once again a cat – lying on top of a fancy chair’s thin backrest. Grinning at the skeleton at the head of the table, which was covered in teapots, cups and cakes. The skeleton dressed in a black top hat decorated with intricate clock pointers, sewing needles, and goggles, and a black and red suit. Rus gaped. The Mad Hatter. He was… having a tea party?

“I am very sorry, Red,” Cheshire hummed, rolling around so he was lying on his back. “Had some business to take care of, you know how it is.” He disappeared, only to reappear, now facing Rus. “Oh, hello! Look how fancy! His Most Importantness the Knave himself is taking you to His Royallest Majesty.”

As he spoke, the Hatter’s head jerked up. His eyes lingered on Rus for only a moment before they found the Knave, and his angry countenance immediately went missing. Instead it melted into a goofy smile. “Hiya sweetheart. Still up fer the execution tonight?”

Much to Rus’ shock, the Knave’s half-amused, half-disgruntled expression flickered. For a brief second, he smiled. “Wouldn’t miss it. It’s been too long since we had a proper date.”

Well. That wasn’t the creepiest thing Rus had ever heard at all. Not. At. All. Everyone went to executions on dates, didn’t they? He shivered.

“Ah, love is beautiful,” Cheshire sighed as the Knave grabbed Rus’ arm, dragging him through the hallway without another word. He stumbled after, attempting to keep up with the knight. As they turned around a corner, he could see light in the end of it. Outside again, it seemed.

Indeed, it opened itself before them, revealing first a blue sky and then white walls. The greenest lawn spread out in front of them, and Rus’ soul began to pound so hard it felt like his ribs were breaking. He froze in his steps, and almost fell over since the Knave still had not let go off him. The garden certainly wasn’t empty. Nobility were everywhere, carrying flamingos, and servants carrying trays zick-zacked around them. And there, in the middle of it all, stood the King. He was talking with a pink-dressed lady as they made their way on the lawn, people parting to let the Knave pass by.

His marrow felt cold in his veins. When they stopped, a kick to his knees had him falling headlong to the ground, landing on his knees. The Knave snorted as he bowed deeply at the waist for the king. “Kneel before the King of Hearts, peasant.”

At his title, the King turned around. Rus could only see him in the corner of his eye as he bowed his head. A mouth full of sharp fangs smiled as he saw the Knave. He sounded surprised as he spoke: “Ah, Razz. Who have you brought?”

“Your Majesty,” the Knave said. Then his hand lay down on top of Rus’ skull, turning it up so he was looking straight at the king. King Edge of Hearts. The Alice. The to-be conqueror of all of Wonderland. “State your business.”

The King stared down at him, bemused. A pink flamingo rested in his hand as well, and a hedgehog lied at his feet. It was curled up in a ball. Rus’ eyes flickered over his appearances, quickly taking him in. His right eye was badly scarred. Just like all officials, he was dressed in black and blood-red. More black then red. A beautiful three-piece-suit, and a black crown on his head. In the very middle of the crown sat a heart-shaped ruby. It shimmered in the sunlight.

Closing his eyes for a moment, Rus inhaled. His soul flittered. He managed to hold eye-contact as he said, “I’ve c-come to give up myself to you, Your Majesty, in exchange for my bro- brother’s safety.”

“Why woul-“ the King began, interrupting himself as the lady next to him whispered something in his ear. His eyes widened, and Rus held his breath. ”Your brother, you say? Safety how?”

“He passed the test, Your Majesty,” he explained, pressing out the words. Still, they were faint. He squeezed the grass between his hands to keep them from trembling. His breath caught in his throat before he managed to continue. “For the army. I don’t- he’s all I’ve got I can’t let him die.”

A grin spread across the King’s face, almost as wide as Cheshire’s. Chuckling, voice rough, he peered down at Rus. Whispers spread among the nobles, who were all watching with rapt attention. “Well. I can surely guarantee the safety of one peasant. Come with me.”

“A-and he’ll be taken care of? Well? Your Majesty.”

The King raised an eyebrow, but nodded. Without another word, he handed over his flamingo to a servant. Rus jumped to his feet to follow as he strode into the castle again. The Knave came with them, and Rus could feel his gaze burning at his back. Fiddling with his sleeves, he hunched his shoulders. Stars. He really stuck out like a sore thumb here. His brown tunic was anything but subtle in this ocean of colour.

They climbed stair after stair, and he was panting as they reached the top. The King, and the Knave in his armour, didn’t seem affected by all. Two guards stood at one side each of a dark door, opening it as they approached. Glancing out the one window in the room, Rus gasped. He could see everything. The rooftops of Hope spread out beneath, and in the horizon, he could see the forest and the chimneys of March Manor. Beautiful.

Unfortunately, he couldn’t linger. The Knave elbowed him, forcing him to continue. Entering the room, he realized they must be in the King’s office. The walls were covered with books, and in the middle of the room a huge, carved desk of dark wood stood. The King slid into the chair behind it, leaving Rus to stand in front, weighing on one foot and then the other. He squirmed as the King studied him, wanted to sink into the floor.

Faster than he had thought possible, the King had picked out a parchment and quill, and written down a full page. A dotted line waited in the bottom of it. Still grinning, the King held out the quill for him to take. Breathing in slowly, Rus took it.

When the contract was shoved against him, he took only a few seconds to look it over. He couldn’t read it anyway, there was no use to try. By Imagination, what he was about to do was probably the stupidest thing in the history of Wonderland. But it was all he had to give. He had nothing else; nothing he could give a king but himself. In the dark behind a bookcase, he thought he could see two dots glowing orange. Rus dipped the quill in the blood red ink he was offered. Slowly, he signed the contract. Rus Serif.

“Perfect,” the King almost purred, standing up again. He leaned over the desk, grabbing Rus’ jaw. Tilted his head to the left, and then to the right. Examined him. Ruby red eyelights shone with delight. Rus swallowed, allowing himself to be manhandled. No longer did he have any choice in the matter. He trembled, despite his attempts to stop. What was the King going to do with him? “Mine.”

Frightened, Rus nodded. “Y-yours, Your Majesty.”

The King hummed. His smile was pleased. “How wonderful. I have always wanted someone’s complete loyalty.”

[king-crane]

JERVIS: Greetings, Toxin Seller. I am going on a criminal rampage, and I require your strongest fear toxin.

CRANE: My fear toxin is too strong for you, Hatter.

JERVIS: Toxin Seller, I tell you I am going on a rampage and I require your strongest fear toxin.

CRANE: You can’t handle my fear toxin, it is too strong for you, Hatter.

JERVIS: Toxin Seller, enough of these games. I am going on a rampage — and I require your strongest fear toxin.

CRANE: I cannot give you my fear toxin; it is strong enough to kill a BEAST, let alone a MAN.

JERVIS: Toxin Seller, why won’t you trust me with your strongest fear toxin?!

CRANE: BECAUSE MY FEAR TOXIN IS ONLY FOR THE STRONGEST AND YOU ARE CLEARLY NOT OF THE STRONGEST, YOU’RE OF THE WEAKEST.

JERVIS: Well... that’s it then. I shall go elsewhere.

CRANE: GOOD. That’s what you’d BETTER DO.

JERVIS: But know this, Toxin Seller: you’re a rascal. A rascal, with no respect for any Rogues.

CRANE: Why respect rogues... when my toxins can do anything you can?

[killmongerdreams]

Bucky's fraternity throws a Halloween Bash and somehow he talks Ivar into doing couples costumes.

“You are the biggest dork alive.” Ivar grumbles. “Everyone assumes I’m the dorkiest one in the relationship, but no, it’s you. Fuckin’ couples costumes. I don’t even like Halloween.”

“Don’t be a spoil sport, baby.” Bucky looks up from where he’s applying eyeliner to his lower lash line, chuckling at his boyfriend with a smile on his face. He’s going as the Mad Hatter with his own little twist applied to it, abandoning the wild, whimsical colors for something more muted.

He’s dressed in a red and gold blouse with puffy, ruffled sleeves, pairing it with a vest of a completely different pattern. Looped around his neck is the ugliest plaid scarf either one of them  has ever seen. His hair falls in his face in feathered, messy waves. He looks absurd, in Ivar’s opinion. The only upside to the ensemble is the fact Bucky managed to shove his big ass into a pair of leather pants. The leather curves nicely around his ass, showing of plump, round flesh that Ivar wouldn’t mind getting a handful of. 

Bucky finishes off the look with a couple rings on each hand, sliding a pair of fake specs on his face. A top hat with a couple of scarves sits on his head, sitting crookedly. 

Bucky does a little spin, smirking at his annoyed boyfriend. “How do I look?”

“Fuckin’ ridiculous.” Ivar deadpans. He wrinkles his nose at his own costume, eyeing where it sits on the counter with disdain. “I’m not wearing that.”

“Yes, you are.” Bucky sing-songs, grinning. “You lost the bet, remember?”

“Stupid goddamn bet.” Ivar grumbles. He snatches the clothes off the bathroom counter, shoving Bucky out of the bathroom. “Get the fuck out. You’ll see it in a minute.”

“I fuckin’ hate you!” Ivar steps out of the bathroom, frowning at his boyfriend. There’s a blush staining his cheeks as Bucky laughs joyfully. 

“You look so fuckin’ cute!” Bucky exclaims. He’s grinning, thoroughly enjoying his boyfriend’s discomfort. As per rules of the bet, Bucky got to pick out what Ivar would wear for Delta Sigma Phi’s annual Halloween Bash. He’s little ol’ Alice in Wonderland to match Bucky’s Mad Hatter.

Ivar stands before Bucky in a pair of blue shorts too tight around his ass and thighs to be dignified, the fabric held up by bright blue suspenders over a white, cropped dress shirt. The hem of the shirt reaches halfway down his ribcage, showing off a set of mouthwatering abs everyone would be surprised to see the librarian had. Pulled over his shoulders is a ruffled overcoat, the tails of it trailing the floor and curling at the ends. Long white dress socks are pulled up to his knees, and tight black leather shoes are suffocating his feet.’

The worst part of it is the bow. His hair was left loose per Bucky’s request, falling to his shoulders in long, dark waves. Looped around his head is the gaudiest, most atrocious black bow Ivar has ever had the misfortune of seeing. It’s almost as big as his head, sitting sideways atop his head. 

The only thing he wouldn’t budge on was wearing contacts. Ivar’s trusty, thick black frames sat on his face, and Ivar took a little comfort in that. 

He wanted his fucking too big sweater and jeans back.

“I’m going to murder you in your sleep.” Ivar threatens. 

“Oh, hush, you big baby.” Bucky admonishes playfully. “You lost the bet, therefore you must pay up. It’s only for a couple of hours.”

“I’m going to be seen in public!” Ivar screeches dramatically. “You might enjoy looking like a fool in front of everyone, but I most certainly do not!”

“Get over it.” Bucky presses a sloppy kiss to Ivar’s cheek, linking their arms together. “Now, c’mon, we gotta go help set up.”

“I still think the Vikings costumes were way cooler.” Ivar grumbles. 

[peacemaking-gunslinger]

Let’s try this promo style out, because Ryoma wants more friends. My name is Izzy and lets get the show on the road

THIS IDIOT HERE IS  SAKAMOTO RYOMA! He is a very influential man in the Bakumatsu period that wanted to over throw the Tokogawa Shogonate and wanted to push Japan into a modern age! He is a goof ball and this Ryoma is  character from Peacemaker Kurogane! He is very friendly and sweet and rather talk things out than resort to violence but he is a master swordsmen and also gunslinger. Don’t let that scare you away because he only uses them when he has too (Ryoma: and bullets are expensive!) He is always open to making a friend!!

Don’t wanna do Old Japan stuff with Samurais and such well He has modern verses too that are open to be interacted with! He is a hobbyist musician and loves to play guitar and sing which he is surprisingly good at! He also works with computers and stock as well as basic trading being part of a company but he doesn’t bring that part up much. Don’t let his stupid behavior fool you, he just does that to avoid being asked questions by everyone!! I have several verses you can choose from 

Such as: 

Normal Modern (human, normal civilian)

Vampire (Vampire, head of several companies, King of Vampires)

Yakuza (Best Broker and Hacker in Japan, but his face is never seen due to all his work done over phone. Only few people see him face to face)

Wonderland AU (The Mad and The Hatter, Similar to Dissociative Identity Disorder. The Mad appears when He wears his goggles and the Hatter is when the goggles are on the hat.))

Unicorn (Just a half unicorn on his mother’s side)

Hades (King of the Underworld, The god Hades)

AND MANY OTHERS, always open to make new verses as well for fun!!

Blog is about 2 years old, but I have prior experience in rping on and off tumblr. Multiverse,  always open to crossovers, AUs, aLL THE OCS,  and  other stuff.. Sometimes there is NSFW but nothing too far and if it is it is tagged.

So yea.... If you are interested in interacting reblog/ like this and hit me up. The mun is a nervous potate and very harmless so don’t be scared to talk with me via IM. Thanks for your time and I hope to rp with those who are interested!! 

[jollyteatime-archive-blog]

STUPID, TINY SHARKS !

HEADCANON: sharks. CHARACTER(S): mad hatter, mother, the tweedles. VERSE(S): all.

when mattea was five, her mother took her to a pool, hoping that being around people would allow mattea to develop some basic social skills, at the suggestion of mattea’s therapist. mattea was delighted-----   she saw colorful noodles & water guns & she had pink floaties. the whole time, she ran around the pool squealing & flapping. she stopped to speak to random strangers & shook all their hands & eagerly told them about how she would be QUEEN when she grew up & how she’d have a massive pool inside her castle & that she’d invite all of england to have swim parties with her.

most people were happy to speak to mattea, but a few people were unwilling. mattea, not recognizing displeasure, continued following everyone around & listing off her plans. her mother whisked her away before she bothered anyone else & told her that if she continued being LOUD & DISRUPTIVE, the sharks from the ocean would hear her & slide through the pipes & end up in the pool. then, they’d BITE mattea very hard.

this had the intended effect: she did not speak a word for the rest of the day, going nonverbal, & refused to go near the pool from that day on. even showering became a struggle until she was about twelve-----   she would not willingly step into bathrooms, even, out of fear that a shark would appear in a toilet. she got special anklets with she thinks will prevent sharks from biting her. they’re gold & have a picture of sharks with an X over them. these would not actually work, of course, but she was successfully fooled by the street vendor she purchased them from into thinking they’d held fend off sharks.

VERSE(S): wonderland.

a few years after the hatter arrived at wonderland, the tweedles thought it’d be FUNNY to take the hatter aboard a small canoe & sail a few hundred yards from the wonderland beach. they blindfolded her & told her they had a SURPRISE for her-----   all three went on the canoe & by the time the hatter realized what was happening, it was too late----- they were already off in the water. the hatter began to cry & clung to tweedle dum. however, the tweedles continued. when small sharks which inhabit the wonderland seas circled the boat, the hatter had a full blown panic & began to scream & hurt herself  & nearly threw herself overboard in a frenzy, thinking that if the sharks would bite her & kill her, she might as well get it over with right away. tweedle dum had to RESTRAIN her & pin her to the floor of the canoe while tweedle dee rapidly oared back to the shore. they arrived quickly enough, but the hatter was still distraught. both tweedles got several scratches as they attempted to get the hatter off the canoe.

the hatter ran to the hat factory & disappeared for a few days. afterwards, she always regarded the tweedles with extreme caution. she put up a sign in the factory saying NO SHARKS. this rule, too, applies to the tea party table.