#a little lonely lately :)

[gelatinouswall]

[slashmagpie]

“Pearl? Why are you in my house?” 

Pearl blinks up at Bdubs from where she’s sandwiched between the wall and the waterstream, curled up on herself in the narrow space. “Somebody destroyed all the lights in my base and now it’s full of mobs,” she says bitterly.

“It wasn’t me!” Bdubs cries, raising his hands.

“Well, I didn’t think it was you, but the way you just said that’s making me think—”

“No! I’d never! I swear!”

“...I believe you,” she says after a moment, and Bdubs feels himself relax. “Can I stay with you tonight? I don’t really feel like…” She gestures in the direction of her house.

Bdubs nods. “Oh, sure, for sure,” he says. Then, “Should we invite Joel over? His house got blown up too.”

“Ah, yeah, probably. Good idea, Bdubs.” She fumbles in her pocket for her communicator, eventually fishing it out. The screen is cracked. Her fingers shake as they tap against the glass. 

“Are you okay there, Pearl? You look a little…” Bdubs forces his hands to tremble. 

She glances up at him, face scrunching in confusion, before she lets out a small laugh. “Just the adrenaline, y’know.” She grins. “I’m red. It’s great.” 

“If it was anyone else, I’d think they were being sarcastic. But with you! With you, I’m pretty sure you’re being serious!”

She giggles, hitting send on the message and shoving her communicator away. Bdubs doesn’t feel his own buzz; it must have been a whisper. “You know,” she says after a moment, “I’m a little surprised.”

Bdubs blinks. “Surprised about what?”

“That there’s still three of us.” 

He laughs. “Yeah, I’m a little surprised, too! I thought for sure Joel would die today. For sure.”

“Don’t let him hear you say that.”

“Oh, no, never. But between you and me… that guy’s kind of a loose canon!” 

She snorts. “Throwing stones from glass houses, there, Bdubs?”

“Surely I don’t know what you mean.”

“Mhm.” She pauses, eyes glancing down to where her fingers pick at a stray thread on her hoodie sleeve. “That’s kinda what I mean, though. Joel doesn’t live here, and you’re making friends with half the server, I’m surprised I’m not spending tonight alone.”

“Pearl…”

“What?” She snorts. “I know how these games go, Bdubs. People don’t stay loyal. Not for long, anyway.” She glances up at him, eyes half obscured by her hair. “People like Joel, people like you? I know how this ends.”

And Bdubs—

Well, he can’t pretend he doesn’t know what she means. Can’t pretend he doesn’t remember Impulse yelling as Bdubs’ arrow had found home in his throat. Can’t pretend he doesn’t remember Etho backing away when Bdubs had tried to get just a little too close. Can’t pretend he didn’t fight when he promised he’d run. Can’t pretend he hadn’t taken advantage of his broken home. 

…He can’t pretend he doesn’t remember telling Martyn about their plans, or planning to do harm to Etho. Can’t pretend he doesn’t cross his fingers behind his back every time he makes a promise, just in case.

But at the same time, he remembers—searching for Cleo in a castle she’d been too dead to return to, pushing Lizzie to her death for a life he’d never received, taking two hands in his own and vowing to face the end as four instead of two, for once, for once in his life, choosing three and being pulled apart because of it—

Bdubs lets out a breath. “Pearl, hey, no,” he says. “I told you, didn’t I? I’m your weapon.” He gets down to his knees, lowers his head before her, feels her gaze burn into the top of his head.

“Bit late for that,” she says. “I’m my own weapon now, mate. Don’t need you to attack for me anymore.”

“Well, no—but—” He looks up at her. “Pearl. I’m yours. I promise.”

“Right. And you’re Martyn and Etho’s too, huh? We can share.”

“I’m using Martyn!” he protests. “That’s—that’s all it is—I’m usin’ him because he’s the first red and he knows his stuff! And Etho—”

“I don’t mind about Etho,” Pearl interrupts. “Like I said, I know you guys have your little thing going on. I don’t care about that.”

“I set a trap in his base,” Bdubs blurts.

Pearl blinks at him. “Excuse me?”

“I set a trap in his base. Tripwire hook.” He grins. “Right outside the bedroom. I—I think I got Grian, in the end? But—could have been Etho. I coulda—could’ve been Etho.” He swallows.

“And you’d have been okay with that?” Pearl asks, smile gone from her face, expression suddenly very serious.

“I—after I set it, I went up to them. Had a chat. Lied the whole time. I coulda—coulda told him. I didn’t.” 

“And you’re okay with that?” she stresses.

She sounds dubious. Bdubs can’t blame her. He feels sick, swallowing back the bile that’s building in his throat.

“I—Pearl.”

“Bdubs?”

“I learned my lesson, Pearl. I learned—don’t put all your eggs in one basket! Because—because either they die, and then you get left alone, or—or it gets you killed, and you die. You gotta—I have two hands. I can be loyal to multiple people. But then I learned—when you do that? People aren’t loyal back. They don’t trust you anymore. Nobody else…” He laughs. “I feel like I’m the only one who can trust people like that anymore!”

“So…” She frowns. “So you’re making friends with everyone so you don’t get betrayed or left alone?”

“Exactly.” 

“And you know none of us are gonna trust you for doing that.”

He swallows again. “Yeah, I know.”

“And you’re doing it anyway?”

“Well, what else—what else am I supposed to do? I can’t… I can’t go back, Pearl. That’s… I can’t go back. You know how it is.”

“…Yeah,” she says quietly. “I’m—I want you to win, Bdubs,” she says. “Out of everyone—I want it to be you.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. So… You better not make me regret this.”

He blinks at her. “Regret what?”

She bows her head to him. “I’m your weapon,” she says, an echo of his earlier words. “And a bit more of a dangerous one at that.” Her smirk leaks back into her words as she glances up and winks at him. “So use me well, alright, Bdubs? I want you to win this.”

Bdubs’ heart is in his throat. He swallows it back down. It burns.

“I’ll do my best,” he promises. 

The door slams open, startling them both out of their skin.

“Hey guys—uh. What are you doing?”

“Oh, for—Judas Priest, Joel, learn to knock!”

“You invited me over! Or, Pearl did—hey Pearl.”

“Hey,” Pearl says. “Come on in! Sleepover at Bdubs’ time.”

“I can’t believe this is the last of our bases left standing. It’s, like, the worst one.”

“Hey!” 

“There’s no space in here!” To punctuate his statement, Joel slumps down against one wall, kicking Bdubs in the ribs as he does so. Bdubs grunts. “See?”

“It’s definitely not the most spacious…” Pearl acquiesces.

“Anyway. What were you guys doing before I came in?”

“Swearing loyalty,” Bdubs says. 

“Oh.” Joel blinks. “Do you need me to do that? Because I’m a Mounder for life. Loyal to the end.”

Bdubs and Pearl glance at each other.

“Somehow I actually believe him,” Bdubs stage-whispers, and Joel squawks in offence as Pearl barks out a laugh.

“No, I think you’re good,” she says. Leaning her head back against the wall, she says, “This is probably our final night.”

The three of them are quiet for a moment.

“Well,” says Joel. “We gotta make it to the end then, don’t we?”

He’s looking at Bdubs. They’re both looking at Bdubs. 

Bdubs nods.

“May the best Mounder win,” he says solemnly.

Joel grins.

[slug-gore-bug]

Found this little weirdo skrunkling around in my deck.

[guardian-angle22]

[puppyeared]

ive made myself more wet and pathetic

[chepib3]

big fan of when bruce tries to help others and he just ruins everything My poor wife that doesn't know how to communicate yes he will jump to conclusions and make decisons for you to sneakily control your life but please forgive him he's trying to show how much he loves you

[theghostofashton]

seven sentence sunday

thank you to @welcometololaland @strandnreyes @im-overstimulated-and-im-sad @lemonlyman-dotcom @reyesstrand

@alrightbuckaroo @heartstringsduet for the tags <3

Carlos doesn’t remember when he decided he wanted to make his dad proud. It feels like he was born with the desire in him, like it was only once he was sure of that that he would know he was doing something right. He knew of the sacrifices, the work his father had put in for years to build the life he had dreamed of for his kids, and he knew he needed to make it all worthwhile. The day you asked your father to be your best man, it was the happiest I had ever seen him. He bites down on his lip and squeezes his eyes shut as they start to burn. He’d done that. Given his mom a new measure for his dad’s happiness, all by being himself. By choosing himself, and the life he’s built with someone whose love feels soul deep. Choosing the warmth and the softness that has always felt inherent to him, but now feels like it could be right.

tagging @sanjuwrites @paperstorm @bonheur-cafe @carlos-tk @carlos-in-glasses

@cold-blooded-jelly-doughnut @lightningboltreader and leaving an open tag!

[anadorablekiwi]

[buckys-little-belle]

i’m now realizing that healing has allowed me to thing “maybe a caregiver wouldn’t be so bad” after being hurt in the past.

healing has given me the confidence and comfortability to maybe let someone in again/for the first time

[lollytea]

I am once again living inside my own AU as a form of entertainment

[mengyanchen]

wei daxun as meng yanchen, fireworks of my heart e02

[nancys-braids]

happy pride month to them

have the moment they fell in love <3

I really need to write my pride fic for them. someone yell at me to write this weekend.

[disengaged]

i wanna live on my own again …. i’m so ready to put my books on a shelf and my clothes in a closet

[tellmegoodbye]

I know I said my last snippet was the last one, but in celebration of my push coda going up tomorrow, here is one final tease.

Thank you @thisbuildinghasfeelings for the tag!

The words he's been holding onto for so long come out as soon as he gives in. He even surprises himself with many of the things he says, half-expecting TK to wake up in the middle of his unbridled ranting and argue back, or counter him, or for the love of God, just say something.

It's strange to have such a one-sided conversation with TK when he was one of the most passionate people Carlos has ever met. The silence is unnatural, yet it persists amongst the outpouring of Carlos’ confessions, as well as the anger that remains unanswered.

He doesn't want to be angry, he really doesn't, but he is.

Tagging: @freneticfloetry @carlos-tk @carlos-in-glasses and @strandnreyes

[makemycitybreak]

honestly feel like ive got no real friends

[whmp]

whumper: im heading back home. you better not be a low-poly game asset for the sony playstation 1™ console.

whumpee: 😶

---

his name is cecil and he's not doing well. i had this neat idea yesterday: imagine a tamagotchi-like game, where you have to "take care" of a whumpee who lives inside your puter. will you traumatize them beyond all recovery or will you look after them? after all, they're just a replaceable heap of pixels, right? it's not like they have feelings.