#a look at oneself

[living-with-bipolar]

Your vision will become clear only when you can look into your own heart.

Carl Jung

[caliburn-not-calculator]

I ramble about: VR-LA’s Character Arc

I feel like I’m just saying loads of the obvious with this but I still wanna say it cause it’s in my head and won’t leave.

Anyway, heads up for mention of: Suicidal Ideation and Tendencies

VR-LA’s story starting from a place of absolute aloneness and even suicidal ideation, but ending with so many families, friends, and homes and a promise made in the maze of life to keep on going… It has me feeling things

He begins with nothing but flimsy phantom feelings from his past and his strengthening relationship with his friends keeping him stable. And, as seen with the Zuggtmoy madness and the despondency well, without them he ends up right back in that spiral. Right back in that trap of wondering it it would better to have not woken up on the ship.

Later, his isolation through his wish and utter dedication finding his old crew puts a slight wedge that relationship. His drive to find his past nearly breaks his present, and he ends up having to reconstruct both his bonds with them (though minorly) and his old crew. It’s the thing that leads him to try and leave his past in the past, and focus on what he has now. He tells Dani that when he dies it’ll be on this ship, that he isn’t going anywhere. He picks this life over the old one. That connection to his family and home that has kept him going, now stronger… but not yet healthy, not yet healed. The stubborn refusal to leave his past comminuted to be put to rest through season 4 now he’s learned how unhealthy it was to dwell on it. Killing Endellion, proclaiming to his old crew that the old him is gone, being willing to give up the ship to Dani. Being willing to give up and leave behind the home he once pledged to die on. All of that showing how his outlook has progressed from the Then, to the Now, setting up the lead in to the Later he comes to look forward to in season 5.

But at this point, VR-LA’s pledge to die on the ship is still standing, until all of sudden that declaration is thrown into question by his promise to Maxim. An unexpected moment, maybe considered quietly in the back of his mind for awhile, but now coming to a head at the wake up call that is Maxim’s constant refutes to VR-LA risking his life. Maybe it wasn’t fully true at the time, maybe it was part desperate ploy to win him over and part the first realisation that the future he had always thought inevitable didn’t have to be. Whatever it was, that first promise set him on the path to looking not just back, not just around, but forward.

An episode later, VR-LA is lost in the not so metaphorical maze of life. He knows his past and how he feels about it, he knows his present and all the new bonds he’s formed in this second life. But the question of what comes next looms before him, despite his gripes with what happened before, this is the major decision he faces. And it isn’t the death on the ship he always thought would come, the death he once considered accepting while adrift, but rather… life. What he finds and chooses at the end of the maze is a long life, well lived. The exact opposite of everything he thought he had always been moving toward.

I was not expecting to find a story about coming to heal from suicidal ideation in my silly autism robit but oh boy… oh fucking hell is it there.

AND THEN, how he literally ends the series with a proclamation that no longer is he going to “die on this ship” or “wonder if it would be better to not wake up”, but that he’s taking dying of old age a challenge. How he refuses anything less than that. How despite his new dangerous position, despite stepping up and not back, he is not looking for anything less than that future he found at the end of the maze.

VR-LA starts too focused on the past, moves on to trying to focus on his present, then eventually the future. And if that progression wasn’t good enough, by the end he manages to have them all. His memories and old crew, the crew of the Per Aspera and a life of adventure, his increasingly pivotal role as magister and his aim to grow old.

Like, when I first heard the silly “Hello! I am VR-LA :D” and “Will you be our captain?” robot, I was not expecting a story about overcoming suicidal tendencies and growing to accept and combine all aspects of yourself. Like, fucking hell WHY IS HE LIKE THIS HSJDBDKDBDKFB

It’s such a well done arc for an improv show, and yeah there’s the little awkward unclear points but overall it’s so fulfilling and complete, while leaving further room to settle and heal. Right from season one he proclaims it’s the fight against entropy that makes life worth living, and the the whole show he fights that fight with himself. He goes from someone willing, and perhaps even on some level wanting, to die, to someone actively fighting for the opposite. He goes from empty of will to live and memory to, in his own words, “overflowing”.

Anyway, I love this silly robot, he makes me feel too many things, and I can’t wait to see what new stories come to pass next campaign.

[ride-a-dromedary]

Again I know it's supposed to be a haha reference to the turns into a bear when he's too aroused thing, but in again refusing to brush just over the surface of this character: "I must be careful or I'll lose run of myself again. An Archdruid should show *some* restraint." comes across to me as more melancholy than perhaps intended when a. You take it into consideration that several lines imply that Halsin has issues with self control and self servitude, and presenting an "acceptable" version of himself as an outwards facing authority figure, to the point where he brushes over his own feelings, or pushes things that he wants down in the effort to reflect better what others want from him.

And b. Remember that Halsin was essentially just an apprentice when he was forcibly situationally promoted to Archdruid - he wasn't taught *how* to be an Archdruid or trained for it, or mentored; he was thrust into it because they didn't have any other choice. But they needed someone, so he stepped up. Halsin has spent the last century studying and learning things on the fly or through trial and error, and in a position of leadership like that, he is aware that every failure to uphold that mask *counts* and others *are* very much affected. How many times has he muttered that same mantra? Or heard it thrown around? An Archdruid not having control over their own magic is a big deal. Even when he is no longer Archdruid, he still grumbles it to himself. He's been at it over a century and he *still* doesn't feel like he's gotten it right. Even when he is in a place of progression, of trying to gain hold of himself again, those wisps of failure and self doubt still creep into everything. And that's sad to me.

[hpowellsmith]

Today, My Students Tell Me from A Geography That Does Not Hurt Us by Carla Sofia Ferreira

[cerise-on-top]

Hiiiii how have you been love bug? (Please tell me if your uncomfortable with that term since you are non-binary and they/them I’m not sure what nicknames you are uncomfortable with it’s just what I call my friends and just a nickname I have for people in general🫶🏻🫶🏻 ) so I’d like to to request farah with a adhd reader who is hyper forgetful and sometimes has meltdowns ( as someone with adhd)🧡🧡🧡

Hey! I'm fine! Bought some more yarn for my leftover blanket today, which I'm excited to work on! And don't worry, I think love bug is really cute! I don't mind most nicknames, but thank you for being considerate, I really do appreciate it! Hope you're doing well as well ^^

I don't have ADHD, so I don't know at all what it's like for someone with it! I had to do some research on it, so I don't know if these are actually viable methods of helping, but I tried! Please do correct me with something that might help and I'll add it in this post afterwards! I hope this is enjoyable to you regardless! Thank you for the request!

Farah with a Reader with ADHD

Farah doesn’t particularly know a lot about mental illnesses. She may be traumatized, yes, but that doesn’t mean she ever had the time to research any of them. So she’s definitely not the best person to go to when it comes to things like these, but she tries, even if she can’t always understand everything that’s going on. You’re suffering, and that’s enough for her to know she should do something to help you.

You being this forgetful may be a cause of concern for her, though. It’s not every day she meets someone who forgot what they did five minutes prior. It’s especially concerning when it’s something important, though, like seeing a doctor. Although she may be worried for you potentially developing something as severe as dementia eventually, she’ll try to push her worries aside and help you to the best of her abilities. If you ever need reminders, she can help you. Farah remembers and retains things very well, she’s never had any issues with it since she had to in order to get by. If you need to remember something, she’ll remind you a few times a day. You have an appointment? Don’t forget about it tomorrow, I’ll tell you again then. However, she’s also a big fan of post its and will write down whatever it is you may need and place it somewhere she knows you’re going to see it. I know, out of sight, out of mind, but she’ll also text you and have you make reminders on your phone for important things so you don’t forget. Won’t get mad at you for forgetting your anniversary, she can see that it’s hard for you to remember things and won’t yell at you or anything either. However, she will mention that it was your anniversary, or maybe her birthday. For the most part she just wants to spend those days with you, if she can, and will thus remind you. Again, you don’t need to feel ashamed for forgetting, she’ll tell you that it’s quite alright and that you shouldn’t worry. She’s patient like that.

If you have a meltdown in front of her, she definitely would not know what to do at first. Depending on what kind of meltdown it is, she’ll react differently. If it creeps up on you, slowly making you irritated, then she’ll ask you what’s wrong. Regardless of your answer, she’ll ask you how she can help you, if you would like to be left alone or if you would like to take a small break in any way. She gets it and she’ll get you away from whatever is stressing you out so you can slowly recharge. If you really do want to be left alone for a while, she will comply, but will knock on your door to check up on you every once in a while and will bring you some food as well. Farah just wants you to be well, so she’ll take care of you how she thinks might help. Food is always good, food usually helps her, so she hopes it’ll do the same for you as well.

If it’s a sudden meltdown where you don’t know where left and right are anymore, then she’ll get you away from everyone else at first. While she can’t imagine what it’s like for you, it likely isn’t very pleasant for you to be crying and screaming in front of other people. Hoping that you trust her, she’ll try to ground you, asking you how you’re feeling, what you’re feeling and how she could help you. What happened is also another question she would ask you. Again, she won’t really know what to do on her own, but she tries her best. Farah will talk to you in a soothing tone and try to distract you at first so you can calm down a bit. Whether it be cracking a joke or asking you about your top five favorite reptiles. Even if you can’t answer her properly, she’ll just reassure you that it’s okay, that everything is just bad in this moment and that it’ll pass. She’s with you this entire time and won’t leave you unless you want her to. Asks you to breathe a bit with her. In all your time being together, she’s likely learned a breathing technique or two that might help you.

Once your meltdown is over, she’ll be very gentle with you, especially if she can see you’re beating yourself up over it. You really shouldn’t feel ashamed for something that you can’t help, it’s not your fault. If you feel especially down, she’ll give you a kiss on the forehead and get some ice cream with you. Something like a meltdown seems exhausting to her. While she doesn’t want to seem like she’s rewarding you for having a meltdown, she does want you to be kind to yourself afterwards, that’s what the ice cream is for. And if you don’t want ice cream, then some berries, fruits or a small snack will suffice as well. Either way, she’s there for you the entire time until you feel better.

[mizukiko-kun]

something something being the only one shirtless in a conversation about opening up to your friend and your crush

[nadineross]

i've been thinking a lot about forever. moreso, i've been thinking about everything that comes before — and who i want at my side as it passes.

bonus aigul:

[the-lark-ascending69]

You mentioned that you love fics where Robin gets Vecna’d (relatable as fuck lol) and holy hell she would have been #1 on Vecna’s list if she hadn’t found Steve’s love and friendship and support in season 3. This of course made me think of an au where Robin does get Vecna’d in season 4 because somehow she and Steve never become friends, and she’s still stuck in that self-loathing, lonely place. Maybe she somehow doesn’t get involved with the Upside Down in season 3, which would be hard to make work with how essential to the plot she was.

Of course there is the terrible, horrible, heartbreaking option of Robin getting involved and everything going the same, except in this terrible horrible universe, Steve dies. Maybe they’re both under Starcourt in the Russian base, and Steve’s beat to hell and tied to Robin’s back and she feels his breathing get slower and slower until it’s just gone. Dustin and Erica save her, but it’s awful because Robin can’t save the closest person she’s had to a friend in so long after all he did to protect her and they’re forced to leave his body there, cold and alone in enemy territory. Or it happens after they get out, after Robin tells him her deepest secret and he still loves her, differently than he did before, but just as much. Robin would be so happy to finally have someone who knows her fully and loves her for it, only to have it ripped away when the Flesh Flayer makes one wrong swipe that catches Steve in just the wrong way, or even after the battle, when they all think they’re safe and it’s finally over until Steve collapses from an internal injury that nobody had caught.

I really can’t decide which possibility would be worse, Robin mourning the boy who somehow became her best friend before he ever truly knew her, thinking that if Steve had known her fully, he would’ve hated her anyways (Robin’s wrong about this of course) or Robin’s devastation over the first person to love and accept her for who she is being ripped away from her so violently and so soon.

Either way she would be a perfect target for Vecna 8 months later, when she’s dealing with not just the same loneliness and self-loathing from before, but also the guilt of not being able to protect her best friend and the feeling that it should’ve been her why couldn’t it have been her instead and of course the trauma of the entire almost-week of fighting Russians and monsters.

Anyways sorry for rambling and dumping this all in your ask box lol 😅

No no don't apologize for the rambling you're so real thank you for dumping this all in my ask box 😭😭 waking up to this is the perfect way to start my day

I LOVE both options, but the first one is especially heart-wrenching because we know Vecna specifically preys on guilt and self-loathing, and maybe I've been a little too obsessed with the Rebel Robin Podcast but hearing little 15yo Robin say the universe is telling her she's not supposed to have friends, that she always needs to "camouflage" to survive, that there's something wrong with her, that she's rotten inside (it sheds a whole new light on "i feel like my life has been one big error") has me thinking about Robin being a bit confused, a bit worried but also a bit excited hearing Steve say he should have been hanging out with her a long time ago, even though he probably means it in a way she doesn't fully like, but also maybe not, and maybe after all of this they could be friends! And maybe she won't be alone anymore. Maybe one day she could even tell him her secret.

But then he's beaten so badly. He receives some really bad blows in the head, and she can tell he's taunting the guards whenever they speak to her, drawing their attention back to him, telling them she doesn't know anything, letting them hurt him so they won't hurt her and maybe they believe him, so when Robin tries to talk and starts rambling and saying a bunch of nonsense, because she's too nervous and scared to say anything coherent, they gag her and now she can do nothing but scream and cry into the gag as they continue to beat him while he's tied up behind her, feeling the impact on her chair and on her back.

He's still concious when they leave. He's speaking to her, saying he wishes he'd known her earlier and all Robin can think is no, no, no you don't. And she tries to speak but it only makes her feel like she's choking on the gag, and then his speech starts slurring, and she freaks out because she read about this. He's having a brain bleed. Next, he'll be paralized in one side of his body, next he's having seizures that shake both chairs and has Robin sobbing as she tries to cry out his name. By the time it stops, he won't respond to her, and his breathing slowly comes to a stop, body sagging in its bindings.

Robin stays tied to his corpse for hours and hours, feeling the warmth leave his body, the horrible smell, not daring to turn around to see him. She almost had a friend and he died to protect her. He died because of her. She killed him. If only she'd said something smarter - if only she hadn't freaked out - if maybe she'd thought or something to make the soldiers leave them alone, if she could tell a good lie, if she could defend him the way he defended her, he'd still be alive.

The soldiers come back to rip the gag out of her mouth, now wet and disgusting, and as she sobs and tries to tell them Steve needs help, they inject her with drugs and leave her alone for them to take effect. And now she's laughing hysterically and talking to Steve as if he were still there. She's sobbing, heaving, giggling all at the same time. She feels like she's losing her sanity. She tells them everything when the guards come back, and keeps laughing when Dustin and Erica save her. She laughs when she tells them Steve is dead. This is probably the most traumatic moment in the kids' life, but Dustin manages to keep a level head and not break down until they're safe, and he decides to leave Steve's body there so they can save Robin (if Robin had died instead they could have saved Steve). She's almost catatonic by the time they leave her in the movie theater, giggling under her breath whenever she remembers Steve. Then she goes to the bathroom to thrown up, and with the drugs mostly out of her system, she completely breaks down. This is all her fault. She really, really just... ruins everything.

She's half there, half gone until the end of the battle of starcourt, uselessly following Dustin around. She barely responds to the paramedics when they talk to her (when they perform drug tests on her in the hospital, they think she's a junkie), but Dustin stays by her side as much as he can, both comforting her and seeking comfort.

They take everyone to the hospital in different ambulances, so Dustin leaves at one point. She's one of the last ones to leave, because the police wants to question her on Steve's death. The official story was that he died from asphyxia during the fire, and she was the last one who saw him alive. It's the best lie she can come up with, and she feels so gross telling it.

When she's about to be taken to the hospital, to her surprise, Nancy Wheeler comes to check on her, with black tears running down her face, but with a strong posture and a clear voice when she tells Robin she heard she was the last one to see Steve. She thanks her. She thanks her, even though Robin was the one to kill him. She wants to know if she's hurt and if she needs anything, and tells her she's there if she needs anything.

Then at the hospital, after her parents come to see her, freaking out and holding her so tight she can barely breathe, Steve's parents visit. They're barely holding back tears when they thank her for not letting their son die alone, and tell her they'll be there for anything she needs, and Robin has never hated herself as much as she did then. She hates that Dustin and his friends come see her. She hates that Dustin's fucking mom thanks her. Everything is fucking thanking her as if she did something good or brave when all she did was let the one person who could have maybe loved her die. She hates that during the course of the next 8 months, Dustin takes her with him on dinners with the Harringtons as if she were Steve's fucking girlfriend. She hates that he shows up to her house after seeing her looking sad at school to ask how she's doing. She hates that Nancy Wheeler does the same, and hates it when her parents invite her for dinner because she's "another one of Steve's friends". She hates that even 11 year old Erica comes check on her during school lunch if she hears she had another panic attack. She hates it all. She hates herself. She hates that they don't hate her. She hates the nightmares and the flashbasks and the fact she can't talk to anyone about what truly happened. She could talk to Nancy, she guesses, but then Nancy will look at her with sympathy instead of disgust and Robin doesn't think she could take that.

She takes up a job at Family Video. She sees these people who suddenly care for her for all the wrong reasons a few times a week, when they come rent their nerdy movies. She has no one but Keith to talk to, and he isn't great company. At one point Dustin and Max show up asking her to lend them phones and help them find some dude with dubious links to some Eddie boy and then she gets inevitably dragged along into their new quest, fully aware that it should be Steve instead of her.

She doesn't tell them when she sees a clock in the woods, and Steve Harrington stands in front of her, half of his body paralized, nose bleeding, asking why she left him there. Telling her she'd been right all along: there was something rotten inside of her.

[grahamcarmen]

[ellicler]

*rotating blorbos in my head* i think we could rattle jeeves if we got him to watch a good production of 'othello' together with bertie (it flies completely over bertie's head ofc, all of that jealosy stuff leading a man quite so far as to murder his wife is a bit thick, what?). but like... in that play manipulation is so unquestioningly equated with villainy, and the pathos of it is so striking, it does provoke you to come up with justifications for why you aren't a selfish and bad person. DO you always use your powers for good jeeves?? just what exactly is your motivation? what if you were completely discovered and humiliated one day??

Demand me nothing: what you know, you know: From this time forth I never will speak word.

[unproduciblesmackdown]

"winston quant billions: like anyone else, an entire universe" or "the good news is it's just that everyone's been terrible to you, the bad news is it's just that everyone's been terrible to you"

[origami-fleur]

Imagine if you will, ✨ dragons ✨

Dragon (Henry Pham) instructions.

Bonus:

Origami dragon with their paper hoard 😂

[lucidloving]

Olive Schreiner, “The Buddhist Priest’s Wife” (1892)

[jcdiism]

- ̗̀  too close to home. / @alootus   ̖́-

        as  the  sleek  republic  transport  ship  cuts  through  the  silent  expanse  of  space,  obi-wan  kenobi's  gaze  lingers  on  senator  amidala,  her  presence  standing  out  as  a  symbol  of  resilience  amidst  uncertainty  in  these  troubling  times.  indeed,  the  troubles  of  the  clone  wars  have  only  grown  more  and  more  tumultuous  as  events  continued,  filling  obi-wan  with  a  sense  of  trepidation  towards  what  may  be  awaiting  at  the  zenith  of  such  a  political  storm  of  unrest,  which  quickly  felt  nearer  and  nearer  with  each  passing  dispute  seeming  to  constantly  escalate  into  conflict.  this  conflict  in  particular  had  called  for  the  diplomatic  skills,  and  position,  of  the  senator  especially,  considering  the  close  proximity  of  such  events  to  her  own  planet  and  jurisdiction.    ❝    𝙥𝙖𝙙𝙢𝙚́ ,    ❞    he  murmurs,    ❝    i  fear  the  situation  on  veruna  may  be  more  𝐯𝐨𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐥𝐞  than  we  anticipated;  the  miners'  protests  speak  of  a  DEEPER UNREST.  we  must  tread  carefully.    ❞   

         for  some  time  now,  one  of  naboo's  moons  of  veruna  had  been  mined  for  its  medicinal  resources  found  deep  within  the  planet's  crust  -  and  for  much  of  this  time,  there  had  been  no  sign  of  discontent  amongst  those  who  chose  to  work  in  such  mines.  however,  with  the  recent  release  of  toxic  fumes  from  within,  thus  now  requiring  all  inhabitants  to  don  breathing  masks  to  survive, and  the  increased  danger  and  deterioration  of  working  conditions, it  has  caused  a  severe  uptick  in  the  protests  from  the  miners  for  greater  shares  of  profits,  and  more  overall  incentives  to  continue  working.  although  it  sounded  like  a  regular,  run-of-the-mill  worker's  union  dispute,  something   didn't  feel  quite  right  to  obi-wan . . . and  the  council  must  have  felt the same,  deeming  it  necessary  he  escort  the  senator.  at  the  very  least,  it  would  most  definitely  be  deemed  𝐈𝐌𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐕𝐄  that  nobody  but  those  considered  allies  should  be  residing  so  close  to  amidala's  own  planet  of  naboo.                 the  naboo  moon  looms  on  the  horizon,  a  palpable  tension  hanging   in  the  air,  thick  as  the  𝐓𝐎𝐗𝐈𝐂 𝐌𝐈𝐀𝐒𝐌𝐀  that  cloaks  the  landscape  below.  the  sickly  greenish  hue  of  the  atmosphere  casts  an  eerie  pall  over  the  surface,  obscuring  the  once  vibrant  beauty  of  the  moon.  obi-wan's  thoughts  swam  in  the  deep  ocean  of  ruminations  visible  in  blue  hues,  drifting  to  the  miners -  their  labor  a  poignant  reminder  of  the  𝙄𝙉𝙀𝙌𝙐𝘼𝙇𝙄𝙏𝙄𝙀𝙎  that  could  plague  society  right  under  their  very  noses.  eyes  hover  over  to  the  senator,  expecting  that  she,  too,  must  have  been  deeply  concerned  as  to  how  this  conflict  was  seemingly  not  brought  to  her  attention  by  the  senate sooner.    ❝    we  must  proceed  with  caution,    ❞    he    says,    preparing  his  breathing  apparatus  as  landing  was  now  imminent.    ❝    the  stakes  are  high,  and  any  missteps  could  exacerbate  the  tension,    ❞    he  begins  to  warn  in  a  jedi  master's  tone  of  authority,  almost  as  though  he  were  talking  to  anakin  for  a  moment,  to  which  he  quickly  felt  unnecessary  to  state  around  the  senator  herself,  who  he  was  sure  understood  very  well  the  gravity  of  the  conversations  they  were  about  to  undergo.    ❝    . . . at  the  forefront,  we  must  discern  the  𝐭𝐫𝐮𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐫𝐞  of  this  conflict.    ❞

[outeremissary]

17 for both Balthazar and Carmen?

Thanks for the ask- this is a really fun question! I am all about the gap between internal and external perception. Heart.

[prompt list]

17. What do they notice first in the mirror versus what most people first notice looking at them?

Balthazar

Other people do a lot of looking when it comes to Balthazar- it seems natural to start with their gaze. What tends to stand out most obviously is how damn pale he is- practically colorless, with ghostly skin and white hair and light eyes. It’s striking. More than that, it’s eerie. It gives an unnatural edge to natural beauty. The only thing that might catch attention faster than that is his sense of style- it’s flamboyant, foppish, and generally out of place in the Stolen Lands (and the River Kingdoms at large). His personal style was distinct in Absalom, but the further north he’s come the more eccentric it’s come to seem relative to his surroundings. His halo would outmatch both of these, but he tends to keep it suppressed as much as possible. He dislikes the attention it gets.

Now, there’s something that probably seems to be missing on this list- the wings didn’t appear until not long after the Womb of Lamashtu. After that, everything else is out. There’s nothing that people see but the wings.

And when it comes to Balthazar, he tends to see the same things. A deathly, washed-out face that has never borne even the faintest resemblance to his father’s. Clothing and jewelry that he’s fretted over endlessly, carefully crafting the image the mirror now shows him: bold, unapologetic, extravagant, and impossible to forget.

After the wings he struggles to see anything except an ugly mess of feathers he’ll never be able to hide.

Carmen

When Carmen looks in the mirror, what she sees about herself first is her hair- she sees when it’s tangled and will be a knotted mess to get in order later, and she sees when it’s starting to come loose from where it’s pulled back or pinned and at risk of becoming a hazard in a fight. Sometimes she looks at it with the thought that she ought to chop it all off again, return to something properly practical and manageable, but she can’t help but feel guilty when she thinks about that. Her mother always made such a fuss over what pretty hair she had when she was a girl, and even if she’d gone with it short for a while, once she’d slipped on trimming it and it started to get away from her she couldn’t think about cropping it back that far again without think about her mother. She hasn’t visited her parents in a long time. These days, she hasn’t sent a letter in a while either. There’s never time. So she leaves her hair long, and pulls it out of its tie to brush it down again and re-tie it and redo the pins, and that’s that.

When other people look at her though, the hair isn’t exactly the first thing they notice. Usually it’s the armor, and lacking that it’s the height (enough of it to be noticeable). She’s the very picture of a knight: gleaming, poised, and noble. The crimson cloak draped around her shoulders paints an especially heroic picture. She’s what children dream up in their stories, the image captured in paintings. The picture of a paragon, without a single speck of rust.

[good-beans]

ack for some reason your reblogs stopped appearing on my activity feed o.O just noticed you reblogged something from me hours ago and I was so confused

anyways i might as well give milgram thoughts (which is me just rambling) since i'm here!! keep thinking abojt the mahiru and orekoto snippet thign it's judt oh man . . . . i wonder how kazui or yuno would feel about orekoto, not because violence or something, but because he actually speaks up about his opinions and doesn't smile and pretend like everything is fine like mikoto

i mean kazui already has a weird first impression on orekoto if we imagine he did break up the fight between kotoko and orekoto! but orekoto is so much more open about his opinions on stuff that would kazui be like huh maybe I should try to do something like that

and i mean i think yuno already called mikoto out once so it'd be interesting to see her feelings on how orekoto is like so open about everything

AND i know you asked for fuuta thoughts and I'm just rambling about orekoto and his interactions because of that snippet, so I guess I should probably say something about fuuta and orekoto now! honestly i'm not too sure his reaction would be? i can't tell if fuuta would be afraid of orekoto because he's worried he'd get beaten up by him or just general annoyance from how blunt(?) he seems

anyways rambling over yippee!

(My notifs have been glitching too! It makes me so sad -_-)

Ahhh ty pal because YES -- Kazui would have gotten Such a wild first impression omg :0 Hmmm, he and Kotoko probably have a skewed perception of Orekoto because their first experience with him was such a violent one :( Though! If anyone were to see him at his worst and still think highly of him, it's the man that tried to hide his "shameful" true self only to have its presence kill someone...

I loooove the thought of Yuno appreciating his honesty and being like "finally, you stopped people pleasing like we talked about 😌 I'm so happy for you ✨️" I wonder if he'd inspire her to stand up for herself more vocally! Though she was very happy in her profession, it's clear she's made some unfair compromises/sacrifices at times, and I wonder if she'd change her mind on some things after hearing how fiercely he cares for himself. They'd be the take no crap duo of all time 👏

OUGH Fuuta being afraid because he doesn't quite understand his motivations ;--; And you're right, there'd definitely be a lot of jealousy that comes out in the form of annoyance -- Fuuta is so used to watchful eyes and perfect online performances that he can't stand someone who does whatever, whenever. Instead of getting inspired, he doubles down on what he's been conditioned with and Orekoto just pisses him off. (On a different note. I always pictured Fuuta idolizing Kotoko in T1 for her strength and sense of justice, but I wonder if that inner fanboy would transfer over to Orekoto after seeing him match strength with the person that just took his eye...)