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#a lot of your typical adventurer show up do a few things be on your way
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🖊️ for Est?
est :D
she needs to figure out that she's mostly just dps, and That's Fine, Actually. she can do a little healing (story wise anyway lol. when i go raiding she mostly heals), but she's not really good at it. she doesn't take naturally to it and she never really studied it either, and she tries to make up for that with stubbornness and nothing else, which doesn't always work out. she'll jump into healing when she's panicking sometimes- and sometimes it is admittedly necessary to go about things that way- and she'll go around offering it after a fight or something bc she feels like she's obligated to bc she can (and sometimes also bc it's pretty much the only thing she can do at all), but it's still very much not her Thing; a far cry from her storm affinity
some of her trying to like. fill every role at once was an offshoot of how much time she's spent just on her own, traveling and adventuring and, most recently, Being The PC lol. even when she works with other people for a bit, it hasn't often been long-term nor in groups where she can safely just let someone else handle it entirely
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Activities for Regressors Without Caregivers! (or just fun regression activties!)
(Although you're always welcome here if you'd like any form of comfort anyway! ^w^)
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This one's kind of a long one, after the few tips I list, I've mentioned an app I use called Finch, which will be talked about below the cut.
Since that's the case, I'll put my little ending message here instead:
Knowing how to take care of yourself can take a lot of work and practice, but I believe it's worth the effort, because then you'll be a happier and healthier you! Especially if you can find ways to make it fun!
I'm more than happy to be here for you and offer my support in any way I can, anyhow! I'm proud of you for doing what you can, I know it can be very hard.
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I myself don't have a caregiver for when I regress, so most of the time I end up taking care of myself! Here are some fun activities and things I do when I regress to keep myself calm and happy! ^w^
Paci mentions/pics not long after the first section for those of you who'd rather not see 'em.
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♥ Arts and crafts! I absolutely LOVE coloring and making bracelets with beads, something not too complicated for little hands, but also something fun!
With coloring, you can buy coloring books, or draw something of your own to color in- even printing out a page you find online, coloring digitally, or tracing over something to color in could work! I prefer coloring more than drawing personally because I don't draw all the time, but I bet I could learn a little thing or two from the artists around here!
For bracelets (and other jewelry), strings can be hard to knot with little hands (at least they aren't those small, slippery clasps!!), but the beads shouldn't be too hard to handle if you're careful! Even just planning out patterns is fun!
Here are some My Little Pony bracelets I made, and the decorations I did for my pacis!
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♥ Making playlists! Dancing is fun, and a good way to get the zoomies out, but you can just make playlists for any occasion! I have playlists that help me pet-regress, songs with sounds I like, adventure playlists... (Well- a lot of these are still in progress, but- you get the point!)
I also love those playlist videos on YouTube! Animal Crossing, Super Mario Galaxy, Minecraft and music box music are typically my go-to to help me settle or just make for comfy background music! Here's one of my favorites, shadowatnoon has lovely Nintendo music mixes!
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♥ Playing with your plushies! You can take them on adventures, or make your own!
Like Toby, climbing The Great Pillow Mountain!
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(This is Toby by the way, he's one of my best friends and a VERY good hugger!)
You can play games with them, too! Toby's REALLY good at hide and seek... Maybe you can find him for me? :0
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♥ Finding shows to watch! I really like Paw Patrol and Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles at the moment. Plus, you can look at agere content and fics from shows you like! People make really cool stimboards and moodboards, for example, and I like reading through all the fun stories people write!
Here's a silly picture of Rocky I found! :3
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Finch
Finch is a self-care app where you take care of your very own little bird friend by taking care of yourself!
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You can set daily goals, or for each day (or more specific ones as well I think.). By completing these goals, you give your bird energy to go on adventures! They usually come back with a funny little story or silly questions, because they're learning, too!
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Through completing these goals (or daily, at least), you can get Rainbow Stones, which you can use to buy clothes for your bird, make them different colors, or give them furniture for their house!
They're also LGBTQ+ and disability-friendly!! :3
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This is my little bird, Honeydew! You're welcome to friend me as well if you'd like, my code is: Z3E2T7VRK6
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It's helped me learn a lot about taking care of myself and keeping track of my goals, and I get little rewards for it! I've used the app for several months now, and it's helped me out a lot!
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"Fluttershy protects this blog! SFW interaction only, please and thank you! ^w^"
"Wouldn't show a kid? Doesn't belong here!"
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catskets · 2 months
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From Desires to Demo: How to Write a Good Demo for your Visual Novel
I'm deciding I want to expand on some topics in longer, fuller-length posts based on points I made in this general VN development post.
There is a problem that players have expressed to me about visual novel demos, especially in horror/romance/yandere circles these days: they are not demos at all. Rather, they feel like introductions to the characters and the setting, and nothing happens at all. No one wants to have to go find out everything good about your game by going to your Tumblr and going through 10+ months of asks to get themselves hyped up for your game. Most people are not going to do that. They will instead play your demo and go "this isn't enough for me to come back to" and never think about it again.
How, then, do you get people playing your demo and being excited for the full game? This is my personal guide on how to make a compelling visual novel demo.
In case you've never heard of me, I'm Kat, also known as catsket. I have a Bachelor of Fine Arts in Game Design. I've been making games for nearly 5 years, and I've been doing visual novels more "professionally" for 2. You may know me for Art Without Blood, 10:16, God is in the Radio, or Fatal Focus. I'm here to help you make your first visual novel, or, perhaps, improve on what you've already made.
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What is the purpose of a demo?
A demo is short or a demonstration. Your job is to demonstrate a portion of your game to players. In more "traditional" games, a demo typically takes place in a very tightly-constricted space that is meant to show off how the game feels. Maybe this is the first few levels of a platformer that showcases the general atmosphere and gameplay of the game.
We aren't making action and adventure games in explorable spaces. We are making visual novels. Most visual novel demos just showcase a small portion of the game, maybe the first few scenes.
What your demo should have is this:
A general vibe for your game. You're writing a psychological horror game. Give me a taste of that! Show me a bit of the gore, a bit of the horror.
A sense of urgency. A lot of demos I've played and discarded have been discarded because the game itself does not give me a motivation
An established plot. What is going to happen in the future? Why am I in this world?
In general, think of your game as the back cover of a book. That's where the hook that draws you in to read it. Just give me a proper taste of your game!
There are cases in traditional games where things are hidden from the player in demos (let's all remember MGS2) and where things are changed in from the demo to the final product. That's perfectly okay! You are not obligated to update your demo unless you find gamebreaking bugs and other issues. If things change from the demo to the final product, let your players be surprised and intrigued by these changes!
I can make this a list of do's and don'ts:
Before writing your demo...
Do: Outline, plan, and everything else.
Unless you're blessed by Mnemosyne herself, you need to outline where your story is going to go.
When starting a project, I write a 1-2 page document that has this information:
Name of the game
The target audience
The genre and moods
A paragraph summary of the game
1-2 sentences describing main characters and their roles
Write a short scene that captures the essence of the game
Write a basic outline. You don't need to fit everything in and outline it all, but give yourself an idea. A beginning, a middle, a climax, and an end. Some people just write the start and the finish, and then the middle gets all muddled and convoluted.
While writing your demo....
Do: Make it clear how the choices will impact the game
Visual novels are a medium where player choices affect the game. Make sure those choices actually matter. They don't all have to, of course. They might matter later in the game, but you should at least try to write an example of how a choice may matter.
For example, in Art Without Blood's new demo, certain choices mean you meet the characters in a different order and experience different sides of them.
Having a certain amount of a sanity stat will cause characters to give you some flavor text.
Here's a very simple idea: if you're running your game on a "love points" or other points system, you can make it so if player gets 10 points with love interest, get a different scene. It shows that your choices are impactful. Just let players have a taste of the consequences of their actions.
Don't: Character dump.
Many demos I have played were just character dumps. This means using the demo just to introduce to us the characters but not giving them room to truly show their personalities or their attachments to the problem.
For example, I played a game recently that had the player complaining about their living situation, showing us the characters in the same living complex, showed off the yandere, and then had the player deal with an annoying, evil boss. That sounds like lots of games, right? And that doesn't sound very fun, does it?
Do: Ground the player in the world
Try to immerse your player character in your world. I want to read like I'm part of it. What is our purpose? If we are a stranger, how can you immerse us in a world so far removed from ours?
Do it slowly, and do it with necessity. You don't necessarily want an exposition dump either.
Establish the world, establish the conflict, establish why they got into this conflict, and leave us off with a reason to come back.
Don't: Make your players have to visit other sites to get important information
Your ask blogs or other social medias should contain supplemental material that keeps players engaged, but it should not be a place where you should go "well, actually, in the demo, x y and z should have happened but it didn't."
Try not to spoil your game on your socials. What's the point of playing if I can just read it all on your blog?
I should learn about the plot and the characters from the game itself. I should not have to get a sense from your blog about a character because they were so dry in the demo.
Obviously, this isn't to say you need to include everything about a character in your demo. But we need to get a sense of personality. I shouldn't have to go to Tumblr to find that personality.
Do: Ask for help
Making a game on your own, especially for the first time, is scary. It's okay to ask for help. It's okay to get people to help you out with parts you aren't so familiar with. It doesn't make you any less of a developer. A lot of people need some degree of help. There is nothing wrong with that.
Don't: Start your marketing until you know you can finish the demo
I've seen lots of demos that have been in the works for years. It can be disappointing for fans and demotivating for the developer to have an idea, tell the world, and then not see a demo for a long time. This is especially the case when money is involved, but it's still irresponsible to promise a product and never deliver it. Be honest about the status of projects and your life.
Do: Outline content warnings properly
It is up to the player to decide if they think they're capable and ready to play your game. Make sure to outline your content warnings. Cover the basics, and feel free to leave an extended warnings list in your game or on your game page for specifics.
Content warnings are usually things like blood/violence, profanity, sexual content, etc. Trigger warnings typically get into specific things, like suicide, dentists, or religious trauma. Think of content warnings like the ERSB.
Put a splash screen before the game starts that showcase the content warnings and a place to find trigger warnings.
Don't: Pull back punches with what your characters are capable of
It's fiction. It doesn't necessarily mean you support your characters being crazy stalkers. Know the audience you want to write for, and don't feel a need to cower. Let them be filthy. Let them get their hands deep into someone's chest cavity and rip a body apart.
What I'm trying to say is you really shouldn't tone down what you think your characters are capable of because you're afraid of making fans sad or upset because pookie isn't acting the way they thought pookie acted in their head. It's your character. You're commanding the story. You are choosing where it goes, not fans. Just because you have an audience doesn't mean you need to tone it down to be more palpable to others.
Once your demo is released...
Do: Keep a balance
Making games is very, very hard. And the world is very, very harsh. It is okay to let your fans know about delays or potential cancellations, such as through the devlogs on itch.io for your game, in your community spaces, or on your blog. Please be honest. If you do not think that, after a demo's release, you can continue on the project, make it clear that it has been cancelled or on hiatus.
People will be understanding. The world sucks, and it sucks the life out of us. People are more forgiving if you are honest with the status of your game, rather than leaving it in a perpetual limbo.
Don't: Think that the popularity of your demo constitutes how "good" your game is.
Your demo may not do well. That could be a number of factors. Maybe your marketing didn't hit where you think it should have. Maybe you posted it at the same time as another game. Not your fault. The full release may do better. Don't let the numbers be the reason you give up.
Do: Network!
Get to know fellow developers in the space so you can learn from one another and get more ideas for improving your own games.
Don't: Use developers.
Use a developer's resources. You should not be making friends with other devs if your desire is to try and become friends with big people. That's a parasocial relationship, buddy!
Do: Tell your fans the course of action
Do you have a development timeline set up? Writing multiple days? Give fans a general outline that you planned before writing your demo. It's okay to miss things as long as you're honest. But a timeline will help you hold accountability for yourself.
Don't: Charge for it.
I've seen at least 3 games take the "I'm going to charge for a demo" route in an effort to sway children from playing the game. This is going to sway everyone. Especially if players have not seen a complete + finished product from you, they will not be buying an unfinished game. There are other ways to hide your games from children, such as using itch.io's adult content filters and applying them to your projects.
Main takeaway: Be honest.
I say this a lot throughout this post, but it's because it pushes on a particular trend I see in beginner visual novel developers. There's this desire to create, but there is also the desire for fandom centered around what characters and world spawn from your creations. To maintain that fandom, you need to create. You need to be consistent. It may be harsh, but it's the reality.
Life is hard, and a large majority of us are NOT doing this for a living. Life will get in the way. It always has, it always will.
That's why it's good to practice integrity. Know yourself and your limits. Take steps back and be willing to be open + honest.
Fans won't be happy if you keep saying a game is delayed and show little to no work. Posting unrelated artwork and spending months answering Tumblr asks instead of making a game will eventually run you in the mud without anyone to enjoy what you have the potential to create.
Live up to your promises, and if you can't, be honest. Your community will support you as long as you're open.
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How To Find Cool Games: On DriveThruRPG!
So disclaimer upfront: I don’t use the DriveThruRPG website nearly as much as Itch.io. Some of those reasons are practical (there’s no tagging system, the catalogue is rather D&D saturated,), while others are more… well, shallow (the website isn’t as pretty).
However, DriveThruRPG is a very good tool to have in your toolbox when it comes to finding cool ttrpgs, for a number of reasons, the primary one being that it’s for TTRPGS and only TTRPGs! Let’s get started.
The Search Bar / Categories.
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You can start by doing a basic search for a game that you already know about, or by searching for a keyword, like “pirates” or “zombies”. You’ll get titles sorted by “relevance”, so things that have the keyword in the name will show up first. One of the biggest downsides of this strategy is that everything kind of gets lumped in here: supplements, maps, expansions, adventures, character sheets… the list goes on. However, you can narrow down what you’re looking for by using the toggles at the top of the website. I personally usually narrow down search results by selecting “Product Type” and then “Core Rulebooks”.
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One nice thing DriveThru has compared to Itch.io is that you can combine categories, so if I wanted to brows say, Gothic Horror Core Rulebooks priced under $20, well I can do that! My favourite categories are for genre, but another set of categories that you may find very useful once you’ve familiarized yourself with some games is the Rule System category. There are categories for systems like the Year Zero Engine, Forged in the Dark, BRP (Basic Roleplaying), OSR, and so much more. There’s also “other systems” and “any system” categories if you want to find something that’s unique or that can be used across games.
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DriveThru also has a lot of games published in different languages, and you can narrow your results to see what’s been offered in your language. I think there are more options on this website than there are on Itch, although you might benefit by finding one or two publishers in your language on DriveThru, and then check the publisher’s website from there.
The Homepage
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Another reason to check out DriveThru regularly is the sales and promotions. The top banner of the homepage will typically advertise a few things: the Deal of the Day, current themed sales, and special offers that DriveThru RPG wants you to know about. Their homepage also has Bestselling Titles, Most Popular Games Under $5, Newest Games, Featured Titles, and, if you scroll down enough, Personalized suggestions. Unlike Itch.io, DriveThru does a lot of work to show you what’s new, what’s hot, and what’s a really good deal right now, which can all be really helpful things!
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When you land on a game, you’ll be able to see whether or not DriveThru sells physical copies, some basic information like book size, rule system, publisher & author, and a blurb describing the setting and other general information about the game. DriveThru has a side panel with “Customers also Bought”, which is great for showing you things that you might like, either because they surround the same theme, they work for the same game, or they are in a similar genre. (Another thing that Itch isn’t quite as good at.)
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You’ll also be able to see (and leave) reviews for game, including the ratings left by other people who have picked it up. Occasionally I’ll find really useful information in the reviews, as reviewers might talk about mechanics they love or loathe, or recommend styles of play that they feel the game matches.
Finally, like Itch, DriveThru will let you know if you’ve already bought the game, and provide you with a download shortcut.
Publishing House Pages
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Larger publishing houses typically have their ttrpg content sorted very nicely for you on their publisher pages, to help you find the things that you want. Modiphius is a great example, sorting Star Trek, Dune, Fallout, and their 2d20 games all in special categories.
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Many publishers also have a Community Content section, which is great if you’re looking for assets, new adventures, hacks of a game system and some very reasonably priced (or even cheap) game additions. Similar to Itch, DriveThru has a Pay-What-You-Want feature for many games, although, unlike Itch, most PWYW titles require that you pay a non-zero amount.
Newsletters
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When you create an account on DriveThruRPG, you can sign up for various different kinds of newsletters. Some come directly from DriveThru itself: this includes the Follow Your Favourites and Deal of the Day options, as well as weekly/monthly newsletters carrying information about new releases, special promotions, and (often) a free ttrpg product of the month.
However, on top of that, when you purchase a game or follow publishing pages, you can also get emails about new releases specific to those creators, as well as updates if a new version of a game you bought has been added. Often if it’s a game you already bought, this means you own the new version too - something that DriveThru has in common with Itch!
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The Follow Your Favourites announcements will line up with whatever you’ve chosen to follow on the website. I’ve asked for updates about new Core Rulebooks, and I also get updates from the Onyx Path and a few other places where I found games I really liked. I also check the Deal of the Day offers fairly regularly; sometimes there are really really good deals offered and if it’s a game you know or like, then you don’t want to miss out on a sale!
Wishlists
DriveThru allows you to add games to wishlists to look at later, and even gives you the ability to sort your wishlists, although the process feels harder to look through than Itch does; I think it might be a UI issue.
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However, because it acts like a wishlist, you can move games from the wishlist into your cart and vice versa, as well as move the games to another list. One really nice thing about the wishlist section is that DriveThru will alway show you when something you want is on sale, and how much it is normally - Itch does this too, but in this case, DriveThru is much easier to read!
I mostly sort my wishlists into Core Rulebooks and Supplements, because I don’t have nearly as many games bookmarked on DriveThru. If it exists on Itch, I store it on Itch - but there are plenty of other, “someday’ games, that I want to be able to find again in the future.
Your Library
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DriveThruRPG has an app that you can download onto your computer or your phone, and it basically acts as a library that you can look through. In both the webpage and the app, you can sort your purchases alphabetically, from new to old, by publisher, by whether or not they were updated, and using similar categories as the search bar on the store front.
Free things can definitely be found here, even if they’re harder to look for. On DriveThru, most free products are things like character sheets, playtest games, or Quickstarts. However, some publishers do put up their stuff for free. Whenever I can get a Quickstart of something interesting, or if I find something being offered for free, I add it to my library. Free games are how I got started in ttrpgs, and QuickStarts are wonderful introductions to a system that usually give you a good idea of what the game is going to feel like.
Conclusion
Overall, DriveThruRPG is great for folks who like certain big publishing houses, and folks who like a good deal. I personally usually end up on the site because something in my emails caught my eye, which is the opposite of how I navigate Itch. DriveThru was my home base before I discovered Itch.io, so I still have a little fondness for the website, even if looking through it is a little bit of a slog.
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One thing that might be a bit of an annoyance is that if you own something from a certain company, they might be able to send you a lot of emails for every sale and new product. If this becomes too much, you can choose to opt out from those publishers.
If you don’t want to have to actively engage with the website as much as say, Itch, DriveThru’s email system is also a big help. You can customize your subscriptions to match what you’re interested in, and then just check your emails once in a while to see what’s on offer. After a while you’ll also learn about yearly events, like the Summer Sale, which often provides big discounts on a lot of different games.
DriveThru is also a great place to start if you’re looking for print versions of games: I don’t know what shipping is like to places outside Canada, but I definitely appreciate that it’s an option, and sometimes all you need to do is find a game or publisher - once you know that it exists, you can google that publisher, check out their website, and figure out the best place to order from there.
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knightfcll · 1 year
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nightcap
welt x reader, 1.6k
note: 🤪 im like not even caught up but i love this gilf tew much okay bye. My first reader fic on da blog, blease be nice 2 me <3
content notes: ❗️❗️🔞🔞🔞❗️❗️ explicit smut here, minors do NOT interact!!! Reader is gender neutral, no specific references to pronouns/body type/genitalia for reader, brief oral sex, penetrative sex, reader calls welt “mr yang” a lot 🥴
The Astral Express is quiet. You've finally returned after another long and difficult journey on another strange, new planet. Everyone else has retired to their own rooms for a well deserved rest, but you still wander the halls. Mr. Yang had stayed behind for this assignment and to say that you felt his absence was an understatement.
You had lasted all of five minutes in your own bed before throwing off the covers and deciding to seek him out. Without the exhaustion of adventure weighing him down, he's likely still awake, perhaps poring over a newspaper from your latest excursion. You make sure to bring one back for him if he's not there; he says it's so he can get a better idea of what effect the Stellaron's had on the planet, but you see how quickly he turns to the comic strips. You'll catch him doodling the characters later, sometimes changing their features, doing two and three different sketches that he thinks you won't see.
You're only half right. You find him almost exactly as you'd imagined when you slip into his room, except his brows are furrowed. He's tapping a pencil against the paper.
“Need any help, Mr. Yang?”
He looks at you briefly before returning to his crossword puzzle. "Evening. And yes."
You smile and saunter towards him, crawling onto the bed eagerly. He opens his arms without prompting, allowing you to settle into his lap with your back to his chest. He has most of it filled out already, with only the bottom left grid glaringly empty. Mr. Yang is one of the smartest people, which is why you like to tease him when he has to ask you for help with these things, but he's also the most mature, which accounts for the good natured chuckle you typically get in response.
"What's the clue?"
"Eight letters. 'Hot term for a recent admirer.'"
You make a show of scrunching up your face and delicately take the pencil from him. Your handwriting isn't quite as neat as his, but finds a certain charm in it.
Welt hums appreciatively. "'New flame.' I think you could be right."
You beam. "Bested by the newcomer, Mr. Yang. You'll have to ask me to explain strange things out in the wild next time we leave the Express."
He chuckles. He thinks it's cute when you try to tease him like this; you're all bark and no bite, really. You fold as soon as he gets his hands on you.
Like right now, as his fingers ghost over your thigh. You lean into it as much as you can, but he's so good at holding back. It's the sweet sting of having someone like Welt for a lover: a wealth of experience to keep you satisfied for hours on end, but the patience and precision needed to keep you just on edge until he thinks you're ready.
"Did you need something?" He says it so casually, like he doesn't know your skin is burning underneath him.
You turn your head to look at him. It's there again, that little bit of sharpness in his gaze that seems to go right through you. He's already thinking about all the ways he can unmake you.
"Just you," you say, waiting the precious few moments it takes for the spark to ignite.
Welt kisses you, softly at first. His hands roam over your thighs, just ghosting underneath your sleep shorts. You whine the third time he does it, unable to handle the loss of his touch. He pulls away.
“Patience.”
You pout. He notices everything. “I’m not impatient.”
He humphs in disbelief. “Don’t make a sound until I tell you to.”
Any other night, you might protest his rigidity. Be the brat he likes you to be, until you’re a sobbing mess in hands, begging him to just fuck you and stop teasing. Tonight, however, you’re inclined towards obedience. You hush up and wait the agonizing few moments that he waits, watching for any sign of defiance. Satisfied, he kisses you again, hungrier this time, sliding his tongue over yours. You hold back a moan when he digs his fingers into your thighs.
Welt pushes you down. He trails his lips down your body, over your chest, your sensitive nipples. He halts just below your belly button, kissing the skin lightly while he pulls down your shorts. You shiver once your exposed to the cool air.
Anticipation burns inside you when he pulls your leg up and over his shoulder. He slowly teases your entrance with his tongue, giving it slow, featherlight licks that he soon follows up with a finger.
“Mr. Yang,” you say, unable to resist calling out as he speeds up.
He doesn’t respond, choosing to punish you instead by letting up. He knows it’s agony, feeling his warm breath on you where you need him most.
It’s too much. You give up on obedience and let desperation take hold as you grab at welt’s shoulders and pull him in to kiss you. Your taste lingers on his tongue. “Mr. Yang, please…“
Welt palms at your ass. It’s a nice reminder that he’s far more affected by you than he typically comes off. Although his words are often measured and his tone even, the way he touches you is nothing short of ravenous.
“Tell me what you need, sweetheart.”
You’re on the brink of tears now. Your legs are locked around his hips, his fingers are rubbing and pinching your nipple. He knows, but he likes to make you say it. “Mr. Yang, please, please,”
He doesn’t budge. You reach for the drawstring on his pants yourself, but he grabs your hand and brings it to his mouth instead. “You can speak, can’t you? Use your words.”
You watch as he pulls your finger into his mouth, sucking on it lightly. He’ll keep going, ignoring your pleas while he toys with you long past the rising of the sun. He’s done it before.
You draw a shaky breath.
“Mr. Yang, I need you inside me.”
You wait for his response. He almost looks bored, that half-awake look he gets when he’s quizzing you on the values of each Aeon with hands roaming across your chest.
He kisses your palm. “Keep going.”
“Welt,” his given name falls from your lips, a strained whisper that sets Welt on edge, “please fuck me, I can’t take it anymore, please.“
Welt lets go of your hand. He disentangles himself from you fully, ignoring your desperate whines. You hear his pants fall to the floor and then he’s hovering over you again, sliding a hand under your shoulder.
“Turn around.”
You hear him, but you’re too distracted by the sight of his weeping cock to really pay attention. He sighs and gently lifts you, maneuvering you so you’re on your hands and knees with your back to him.
Tears of relief fall down your face when Welt drapes himself over your back. You feel him lining himself up with your entrance. You shudder when he finally enters you. His grip on your waist tightens. He lets his cock stay sheathed in you for an agonizing moment before he pulls out and starts to set a rhythm. The slow friction stirs something in Welt; he lets go of your waist and covers your hand with his own. He curses above you and moves in closer, his breath warm against the shell of your ear.
“I want to hear you. Please,” Welt gasps. It makes your heart skip.
You call out to him, moaning his name in a quiet voice that gets louder and louder as his thrusts quicken. Your words become more frantic, endless declarations of how much you need him interrupted by broken sobs of pleasure. Welt speaks your name, too, in between ragged breaths and the rapid stuttering of his hips, curses falling from his lips in a constant prayer.
“Mr. Yang,” you say, because you know how his breathing stops when you call him that, just like the first time it did when he had you on your knees in his bedroom, “Mr. Yang, I love you.”
Welt’s final thread of composure snaps. He hooks his arm around your throat and buried his face in your neck. His hips slap against you harder than before, but he still has the presence of mind to reach down and tease you one last time to put you over the edge. Waves of ecstasy roll through as you give one final, strangled shout.
Welt follows soon after, his thrusts becoming increasingly erratic until he buries himself to the hilt and groans deep into your skin. You both slump forward, breathing heavily. He kisses your neck sloppily before finally pulling out with a sigh. He pulls you once to get you to clean up, but you don’t budge, a telltale look of bliss on your face. He gives up and leaves you, returning with clean cloths to wipe you down. You watch him from the corner of your eye as he flips you onto your back and takes care of you.
“Thanks, Welt.”
He smiles softly, but doesn’t look at you, focused on his task. He climbs back into the bed once he’s done, flat on his back. You lean over and rest your head on his chest.
Exhaustion weighs you down suddenly. Even though you left the mission early to see Welt, the trip back to the express hadn’t been easy. It feels like you’ll drift off into sleep as soon as you close your eyes. So you do, but not before reaching up to kiss Welt just under his chin.
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yuri-is-online · 10 months
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Jade would be VERY pleased about finally having another club member. I would be happy to listen to him info dump while we look at mushrooms and neat nature stuff.
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I let this sit in my ask box for too long but I've had this idea kicking around in my head for a while and then harveston had to go and drop that one line validating my delusions and you've given me an excuse to post it ha
notes: they/them used for Yuu, violence against animals (a bear), swearing at animals (the same bear), Yuu is unnaturally strong (enough to fight a bear), Yuu is implied to have grown up in a forest/woodsy environment, Jade typical blackmail. Other more serious fic can be found on my masterlist here.
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Once upon a time, back when you first arrived in this world, you had been unsure how to feel about NRC. Castles existed back home, sure, but ones like this belonged firmly in illustrations or video games; it felt a but nauseating to walk through your wildest dreams brought to life, even if it was exciting sometimes. It was little wonder to you then that the idea of a Mountain Lover's Club was so appealing.
"Did you hike a lot back home?" Trey has that strange smile on his face that suggests you have made him tense somehow.
"Yes. I practically grew up in the woods." The flow of wind through the branches, the smell of fresh rain on the decomposing earth below, all of it wrapped you in a familiar sense of serenity even if the tree line was completely foreign to you. What are men to rocks and mountains after all? You could make yourself right at home here-
"I still don't think you should join." Trey says with all the air of a man who is certainly not telling you something, but the surprising harsh nod of agreement Riddle gives before injecting himself into the conversation convinces you more than whatever Trey had in mind likely could.
"I'm not entirely certain what they do," Riddle has never forbid you from participating in things since you and his dorm-mates brought him back to his senses," but if you want to hike it might be safer if you did it by yourself, assuming you let one of us know when you are going and when you expect to be back. It wouldn't do to have something that brings you so much joy used against you prefect, none of us want that." But he has always expressed concern when he thinks things to be unsafe, and in this case his argument was something you found yourself agreeing with. Hiking is best done at your own pace anyway, why get a club full of self-centered assholes involved in your me time? Though you did wish now they had been a bit more... specific with their concerns. Maybe outlined some of the club's scheduling, but then they would have needed to ask him and in so doing betrayed your interest.
Which would have been much less embarrassing than how Jade actually found out. Because of course he did, was there ever any doubt he would? ~~~~ There is a creek not far up the mountain path behind your dorm you like to rest at when coming back from your adventures. It's a good place to check over the photos on your camera and enjoy the last few rays of sunlight before returning to whatever mess Grim had made in Ramshackle searching for where you had moved all the tuna cans. Sometimes he joined you, and the two of you would have a little picnic up the path a bit further, but that day had not been one of those days. Nor had the day you met this particular nemesis who is staring you down from just across the creek with such a judgmental glance you would think this was a Sunday brunch and not an afternoon meander through the forest.
"The fuck do you want bitch?" You snarl and the bear indignantly sniffs as if to imply she's better than you. "Oh I'm sorry I didn't realize it was my fault your face is so fucking crooked, thought you were just born that way." She huffs again, making a big show of turning her back on you as you rush to get your equipment off and tucked safely out of reach before the skankiest grizzly you've ever met whips around and charges you shrieking something about "how dare you steal her man!!!!" and blah blah blah "I'll show you, you good for nothing hussy!!!!" as if you could actually understand her and this wasn't a three act play you insisted on writing yourself. You weren't even sure this bear was a girl if you stopped to think about it in between punches, not that you really cared. She huffs and makes a valiant attempt to pin you as you snarl and flash your teeth and beat her right back into the creek laughing at what sounds like pathetic winging about "kids these days!!!" and how rude you are for-
A startled noise pauses your match, as you both turn, harsh glares towards a break in the thicket where a very out of place, very surprised looking man stands, hand infuriatingly poised casually at his chin. His infuriating smirk doesn't unfurl until you growl, deep and low reverberating through your opponent just enough that she decides to leave for the day while you are preoccupied.
"Oya, this is a surprise." Jade doesn't move and you stay firm in the creek, body shaking with unspent adrenaline as he decides to move just a bit closer. "If you were that desperate for a sparring partner, I'm sure Floyd would have obliged, animal abuse is not exactly legal you know?"
"What the fuck are you doing here." You spit before you exit the creek, a flash of something darting through Jade's eyes as his gaze darts between you and your pack on the ground.
"Me? I should be asking that of you. The Mountain Lover's Club had to go through quite an ordeal to get permission to leave the school grounds unsupervised..." His teeth begin to show as you crash down from your high, you hadn't actually thought of whether or not you would need to talk to someone other than a friend about where you were going... surely Riddle would have mentioned something if you did? Or did he not think to ask since he wasn't the adventurous sort? "I can't imagine how the Headmage would react to know his ward had been sneaking out to terrorize the local wildlife."
"Hey Brenda started it!" You snap and Jade looks briefly towards the treeline where a very indignant bear is pursing her lips and inspecting her claws, the very picture of innocence if he does say so himself. "She stole my sandwich while I was taking pictures of the sunset!"
"Maybe you should have had someone there to hold it for you." He laughs, finally moving from his spot towards you and your pack, eyes gleaming with familiarity as he looks over your things. "Perhaps, someone who would be willing to... forget about what he just saw if they accompanied him next time?" It's a threat using what gives you joy against you certainly, and you huff indignantly at it but don't deny his request. Jade is an eel of his word, and his joy at doubling the Mountain Lover's Club membership cannot be contained as he ushers you the rest of the way down the mountain, eager to plan your first expedition together.
Not that he intends to ever delete the pictures he took. Your angry face is just too cute.
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eroticdarling · 1 year
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☆×☆×☆×☆×☆×☆×☆×☆
Do They Like Car Sex?
Tokyo Revengers x Reader
☆×☆×☆×☆×☆×☆×☆×☆
Headcanon~♡
× Featuring × — Timeskip! ♡ Manjiro Sano ♡ Rindou Haitani ♡ Kakucho Hitto ♡ Haruchiyo Sanzu ♡ Haijime Kokonoi ♡
× Cw × — ♡ Car Sex ♡ Semi-Public Sex ♡
× Side Note × — ♡ I know this isn't the one shot, but my brain wouldn't cooperate with me, and because I failed to finish it so here are some TR car sex headcanons as an apology
× A/n × — ☆ I do not own any of the TR pictures that will be shown below × Credits to @chironiverse on Pinterest ×
☆ MINORS DNI ☆
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♡ — × Manjiro Sano ×
Yes, he loves the thrill
Mikey knows what he’s doing when it comes to car sex. He loves to take a seemingly typical activity and turn it into something exceptional. Whether it’s a quickie in a parking lot or a romantic sunset session on the side of the highway, he looks for every opportunity to surprise you and make the car ride a memorable one.
The thrill of having sex in his car and the feeling of being watched are what he likes. It's not so much the act of sex itself, but rather the thrill of doing something that few people would be bold enough to do.
He loves the freedom that it provides and nothing feels as naughty as when you two are doing it with the window rolled down and all the neighbors are watching.
He also loves the adventure that it brings and he's always finding new ways to spice up these steamy sessions like taking photos and videos as you both perform yall naughty acts, he says “it adds a bit of excitement”.
Him being able to look back at the photos and videos later, as a reminder of yall wild, daring, joy rides gets him excited to do it again.
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♡ — × Rindou Haitani ×
No, he despises it tbh
Rindou despises car sex for a multitude of reasons, but the main one is that he doesn't like people looking at him when it's happening. He feels like he's on display and being judged, and it's uncomfortable for him. He wants his lovemaking to be private, not public, and the idea of people gawking at him when he's trying to get intimate with you is just too weird for him.
For him, this invades his personal space and he prefers a closed-off, intimate atmosphere for intimate activities, and car sex doesn't offer that.
The idea of car sex doesn’t sit right with him because it lacks the privacy that he craves. It can also be uncomfortable and cramped in a car, leaving little room for mobility. Since you are isolated in plain sight in a car, it also means that people passing by can look into the window and potentially see what's going on.
He is always very protective of you, and would never think of suggesting car sex to you. His number one concern is that someone could be looking into the car windows and seeing him giving you all types of pleasure.
That being said, he's willing to compromise and will try to make the best of tight situations, as long as it doesn't involve taking things too far. He still wants to show his love for you and will continue to do so without taking things too far or stepping outside of his comfort zone.
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♡ — × Kakucho Hitto ×
Probably, likes trying new things but for a limited amount of time unless he enjoys it
Kakucho is always up for trying new things, so there's a good chance he's open to trying car sex. He would most likely it out, and since he likes trying new things, car sex is right up his alley.
You thought it would be a great way to mix up your routine and add a little excitement to yall sex life so you suggested it to him.
He enjoyed it and said he would probably do it again sometime. It was exciting and thrilling, and he loved how you were so into it. You loved how he was so forceful and demanding, and how he made you feel so desired.
He love how you let him take control and made you feel so good. It was an amazing experience, and you can't wait to do it again.
So him wanting to have car sex again is not surprising. After all, car sex is one of the most popular places to have sex.
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♡ — × Haruchiyo Sanzu ×
Yes, very adventurous and willing to try anything and everything
Sanzu has always been a bit more adventurous when it comes to expressing his love for you. For one, he loves to do something a bit more out of the ordinary like having car sex.
He finds that the thrill of doing something so daring outdoors brings about a surge of adrenaline and urges him to become more intimate with you.
Some of his favorite car sex activities include experimenting with different positions and of course keeping a couple of extras like lingerie and toys on hand to help spice things up.
He also enjoys being able to be creative in a setting with some tight spaces, and the added possibility of getting caught or being noticed by someone is especially arousing to him.
He sees sex as both a physical and a mental connection between you and him and continually strives to find new ways to make the experience pleasurable for both of you.
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♡ — × Haijime Kokonoi ×
Maybe, it depends on if he's feeling it or not
For Koko, it depends on whether or not he's comfortable in tight quarters and still able to feel connected to his partner, and whether or not he enjoys car sex depends on his mood.
if he's feeling adventurous and open to the idea, then it could be the perfect way to have fun and be spontaneous with you and he may find car sex to be a hot and exciting experience.
If he's just not feeling it at all or not in the mood for something so intimate, then he may not be as into the idea of car sex, he trusts his instincts and sticks to what feels best for him.
He can be one of those individuals who can be difficult to read on whether he likes it or not. Most times, he finds the idea of having sex in a car too uncomfortable, due to the limited space and the fact that he has no privacy.
If you ask he may be hesitant to agree at first, but a little bit of flirting and teasing can be very persuasive and once you get him in the mood he's open to the idea of it, he make sure to take advantage of the opportunity and have a great time.
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The Rebound 2
Warnings: non/dubcon, body insecurity, and other dark elements. My username actually says you never asked for any of this.
My warnings are not exhaustive but be aware this is a dark fic and may include potentially triggering topics. Please use your common sense when consuming content. I am not responsible for your decisions.
Characters: Curtis Everett
Summary: after a divorce, you try to start over.
Part of the Backwoods AU
As usual, I would appreciate any and all feedback. I’m happy to once more go on this adventure with all of you! Thank you in advance for your comments and for reblogging.
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A giggle crawls through you and nips at your ears. You can’t help your paranoia as every whisper prickles across your skin. Are they talking about you? Laughing?
Things were going pretty good. Your new regime of walking is going on day eight and you’ve cut back on your snacking. You're a bit sore from trying to jog along the path but that morning felt okay. Until you ventured down to the grocery store on your lunch.
Ugh. You should’ve just walked away. You shouldn’t have kept listening to the conversation. To that girls churlish laughter. And you surely shouldn’t have gone to peek at her. You could pretend she isn’t so much younger.
Her name is Greta. She spoke loudly about the sheriff, almost as if she knew you could hear. Maybe she did.
It’s over. Let it go. You keep telling yourself that. It’s not that you want Lee back.. You’d rather be alone than unwanted. It’s just that you were right. You were being traded in for a younger model.
Well, so much for starting over. You’re going to cry into a tub of ice cream tonight and catch up on reruns. You don’t have the energy to go out for your walk. You just want to lay face down and forget the world, or at least, Hammer Ford.
You wiggle a pen in the air and look around the library. It’s not very busy. It never is. This place is lifeless. Like everything else, it’s dull and empty.
“Um, excuse me,” a voice startles you from your self-pity. You make yourself smile as you face the man. It’s him, Curtis. “Return.”
He holds up the book he took out last week and sets it on the counter. You look at the cover and pick it up. You key it in as returned in the system.
“Thanks, you’re a fast reader,” you comment as you put it in the returns pile.
“Mm, sure,” he utters.
You turn back to him and stare awkwardly, unsure what to say. He hasn’t been unfriendly but he’s less than outgoing. You’re not sure what to say. He’s so stoic and stony, it makes you nervous.
“How was your—”
“Do you–”
He stops himself as you speak at the same time. You chuckle and wring your hands, “you go.”
“Yeah, uh,” his grey-blue eyes cling to you, “I was wondering if you had any suggestions.”
“Um, oh, yeah, of course, if that’s what you typically like to read, I can definitely make a few recommendations,” you breathe through your anxiety. You think he’s younger than you, maybe not by much but you definitely show your age a lot more obviously. “Have you tried any Dean Koontz? Odd Thomas is fascinating.”
“That ones my favourite,” he says.
“Heh, yeah, that was kind of obvious,” you sniff, “well, you can try Patrick Logan if you haven’t checked him out.”
“Logan,” he nods and looks around, “you think you could show me?”
“Right, yeah,” you step around and push through the door of the counter, “it should be with the usual stacks…”
You take him towards the fiction section at the rear and find the right shelf, “looks like we only have a few here… oh but the first one’s available.”
You slide out the book and offer it to him. He considers it and takes it, reading the back. His eyes flit up and startle you.
“Thanks, sounds good.”
“Great, well, er, I’ll let you look around. You know where I’ll be.”
“I’m good. I’ll take this one,” he affirms.
You nod and sidle past him. He follows you back to the counter and takes out his library card. You go through the usual routine as he stands silently across from you. You hand him his card back with the book.
“Hope you like it.”
He looks at it and tilts his head, “have a good night.”
“Yeah, good night.”
He turns and stalks away. He doesn’t lift his head as he stares down at the book in his hands. He passes through the library doors, a young teen dodging out of his way as he enters. You give a thoughtful hum. He’s a bit odd but who isn’t around here.
You go to the returns and start your closing duties. You zone out as you put the books on the cart, keeping them in order by which call number you’ll pass by first. A sharp woop makes you jump and look up as coloured lights flash outside the library.
Your moment of peace dissipates. The scene at the grocery store replays in your head. The laughter echoes in your ears. The silhouette striding up to the doors makes your heart drop. No, why?
Lee Bodecker enters, his thumb hooked in his belt. The sheriff. Your ex husband. You cringe as he approaches the counter.
“Evening, ma’am,” he drawls as he stops across from you, “you haven’t seen a kid in a hoodie, have ya?”
You swallow as you stare at him. He’s going to stand here and act like nothing happened. Like he doesn’t know you. You shake your head, “no, sir.”
His cheek dimples. A strike of anger zips up your spine. He used to stand just like that when you did something wrong. No, not wrong, just not the way he wanted it. And even then, you called him sir. He always had that smug smirk on his face.
“Mm, well, you see some twerp in a blue sweater and you give me a call. You still got my number, don’t ya?” He winks.
“Haven’t seen him,” you repeat, even as you recall the young kid who shied away from Curtis. The teenager couldn’t haven’t done anything that serious. “Good night, sheriff.”
“Night, honey,” he snickers.
You turn your back to him before he can see you crack. He’s mocking you. He struts around proudly, waving his dick around, gloating in the whispers. And you’re left to wallow in dejection. After all, he’s a man of the law, he’s untouchable. You’re the bitch who couldn’t do your damn duty.
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tobiasdrake · 1 month
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I'd say that Tri, Last Kizuna and 02 The Beggining are a tad of a weird approach to try and bank into nostalgia, but not letting go the concept of "no you have to say goodbye to the 'mons"... which doesn't work after 02's epilogue. And then Adventure 2020 happened, and forgot that it was supposed to be an assemble show.
I don't have a problem with nostalgia banking, but Last Evolution Kizuna wanted really badly to be Toy Story 3 and failed. That, I take a lot of issue with.
There's a lot of heated debate surrounding LEK. The idea that the kids' partnerships with their Digimon break because it's time to put away childish things and grow up is extremely contentious within the fandom, but it's also not universally agreed that the film is even saying that thanks to translation issues with the subs and also some very ambiguous imagery with the ending.
There are basically two different interpretations of what happens in LEK.
1 - Sora, Taichi, Yamato, Jou, Mimi, and Koushiro all lose their Digimon Partners because they enter adulthood - but not Takeru and Hikari because they still have a few years to go.
This is a natural occurrence and the result of growing up. They have no choice and no agency in the matter; The Universe takes their Partners away because they're too old to be playing with toys anymore, and they just need to fucking suck it up and deal.
2 - Sora, Taichi, and Yamato lose their Digimon Partners because they're too irresponsible with their adulthood. Mimi, Jou, and Koushiro do not because they're responsible adults and are balancing their adult lives and their love for their Partners well.
What happens to Sora, Taichi, and Yamato is a rare and unusual occurrence, but there is hope that they will one day find their Partners again once they've gotten their heads on straight and made their way as adults.
For obvious reasons, the film is very unpopular with fans who take the first interpretation and pretty well-liked with fans who take the second. Which one is actually the valid and intended reading? Well. It's complicated. The movie went through a tumultuous creative process, to the point that Adventure series director Kakado Hiroyuki walked out on production midway through over disagreements and inconsistencies to the original series.
Which is, y'know, always a promising sign for a new entry in a series.
Watching the film, for me, it honestly feels like both readings are intended. Which is to say, you can find evidence to support either/or. I don't think that's deliberate, I just think the film was sloppily made and shows signs of conflicting creative visions.
Proponents of the Good Movie interpretation can point to the villain of the film, whose central motivation is literally that having your Partner taken away because you grew up is some fucking bullshit. In its final act, the film reveals that her Partner did come back - Just in an unrecognizably different form, not as the Partner she knew.
So the natural conclusion then is that Agumon and Gabumon will reincarnate and may find their way back to Taichi and Yamato; They just won't be Agumon and Gabumon. Which still contradicts the 02 epilogue despite proponents of the Good Movie interpretation insisting that 02's epilogue is still canon to LEK.
Which itself has evidence to support it (Taichi and Yamato are on their way to becoming the people they are in the epilogue) and evidence to refute it (Agumon and Gabumon fucking died).
As the translation breakdown in the above link shows, there's also some phrasing issues that created confusion. Gennai in the official English version describes losing your Partnership as a typical occurrence while, in the original Japanese, he seems to describe this more like a rare thing that he doesn't fully understand.
It's explained that what's happening is the narrowing of potential. Children have infinite potential, which something something Digimon Partnerships. As you make choices with your life, you narrow your potential, and eventually it can no longer sustain a partnership - Unless you're able to become an adult with limitless potential anyway!
That seems like it's setting Taichi and Yamato up to figure out their shit and save their Partnerships at the last second. But they figure out their shit and still lose their Partners, which gets described in the end as a rite of passage.
The blog with the big translation breakdown I linked above makes a note of the difference between the official translation, "This is how we finally grew up," and a more accurate translation, "This is how we arrived at the entrance to adulthood." As they say, it shouldn't be translated with finality.
But that's splitting hairs, because either version is still saying that losing Agumon and Gabumon was Taichi and Yamato's rite of passage from childhood into adulthood. Whether they've become adults or taken their first steps into adulthood doesn't actually matter; it's still describing this loss as the gateway that brought them there, which is the point of contention.
They did what they were supposed to do, they were still punished for it, and then they close by describing it as if it were an inevitable consequence of growing up despite what Gennai said. Which may or may not be corroborated by what happened to Jou, Mimi, and Koushiro.
Proponents of the Good Movie interpretation will point to Jou, Mimi, and Koushiro as proof that not everyone loses their Partners. Proponents of the Bad Movie interpretation will point to those same characters as proof that everyone does. This is due to a fundamental disagreement in how you interpret the final scenes.
At no point does the film ever say, with words, that Jou, Mimi, and Koushiro lose their Partners. But it does conclude with these images:
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The final shots of Taichi, Yamato, and Sora show them to be moving forward with their adult lives, with no Digimon. The younger kids Takeru and Hikari's slides contain Patamon and Tailmon. There are also slides for the 02 characters, which show their Digimon Partners still taking an active role in their lives too.
But Jou, Koushiro, and Mimi? No Partners in their slides.
Good Movie fans will say that the film never says explicitly that they lost their Partners, so this means nothing. Their partners are probably just offscreen somewhere.
Bad Movie fans will say that these slides are meant to show the older kids moving on with their lives post-Digimon and the younger kids still having their Digimon Partnerships. There's a clear contrast between Hikari and Takeru's slides versus Taichi, Yamato, and Sora's - and Jou, Koushiro, and Mimi are presented like Taichi, Yamato, and Sora here, not like Hikari and Takeru.
Good Movie fans have the counterpoint to be made that their Partners still exist in 02's epilogue. So, y'know, canon faithfulness says that everyone's Digimon will come back or was never lost. Checkmate, naysayers.
But also Last Evolution Kizuna basically ignores Tri and makes no attempt to address the questions it left hanging, and also the Adventure story director walked out of production over inconsistencies to the original so I don't think you can really use canon faithfulness as a talking point here.
Taichi and Yamato are still on their way to becoming an ambassador and an astronaut respectively, so the epilogue hasn't been thrown out entirely. But it clearly has been thrown out. Jou was supposed to become a doctor in the Digital World, Sora was supposed to become a fashion designer instead of inheriting her mom's ikebana mastery, and Mimi was supposed to become a chef instead of selling cosmetics.
Yeah, Taichi and Yamato are still on-track to a similar life path than what the epilogue gave them, but nobody else is. So I don't think the movie is actually as faithful to 02 as the Good Movie side thinks it is. And apparently neither does Kakado Hiroyuki.
For me, I do think they were trying to say it's time for the kids to put away childish things and grow up. I don't think they meant that to be insulting. But I do think it's kind of insulting.
I think they were trying to do what Toy Story 3 did; To tell a story about the rite of passage from childhood to adulthood and what that means for the things we loved and enjoyed as kids. But I don't think that story works when the putting away of childish things is something cosmically forced on the children rather than a choice they make with their own agency.
Toy Story 3 wouldn't have landed the way it did if the movie was about Andy's mom pinning him down by the arms while garbagemen come in and throw Buzz and Woody into a woodchipper. But that's kind of what Last Evolution Kizuna does to the Adventure kids.
Taichi and Yamato get to give a powerful emotional farewell to Agumon and Gabumon. But they don't want to, they are not making this choice for themselves, and no reason is ever provided for why they should have to. And even the best defenses of the film just make it out to be a weird, random cosmic blip that maybe they'll fix some day, who knows.
Even in the best-case scenario, the universe just decided to grievously hurt Yamato and Taichi for no reason even though they were already making strides to undo the thing they were allegedly being punished for. It's still mean-spirited and cruel even in the best possible interpretation.
So. Yeah. All things considered, I find myself falling on the side of "It's a bad movie and I don't accept it as part of my personal Digimon canon." I don't accept that the children need to all have their Digimon deleted once they enter into adulthood, and I equally don't accept that they don't need to have that happen but that Taichi and Yamato deserved to have their Digimon ripped away from them at the end. There is no version of this movie that I actually like.
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tuesday again 9/17/2024
come take this very very friendly little man out of my bathroom! he is fiv+ and we are in houston tx! i am willing to drive a couple hours for the right home! he is a good boy he's just orange! more details here!
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listening
emily jeffri's DENY off my spotify recommended weekly playlist: i can only describe it as "throbbing". immediately attention grabbing lyrics:
What kind of lover does your mother want? I'll do whatever, oh but you could not
very distinctly indie electronica. this would be the song in a cyberpunk/80s hacker movie where the chase takes you through an goth/alt fashion show where the models are actively giving blood as they walk or something.
i love the spotify daily mix for me and my bestie bc there's a guaranteed four bluey songs on it and it's a nice jumpscare. i know my mental health is taking a turn for the worse when a lot of mother mother starts popping up, i know my bestie's is taking a turn for the worse when a lot of girl in red starts popping up. suicide-watch-level sapphic angst singer-songwriter, generally. except for this song! extremely fun! didn't even recognize it as her! DOING IT AGAIN BABY is a more traditional selling-you-a-dodge-charger car commercial song and it's such a startling departure from her usual work that i wonder if it was a commercial commission? hard to immediately find out tho
I'm on a new level Something's got me feelin' like I could be inflammable And I might be I'm gonna light it up Nothing's gonna stop me if I say this is what I want
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reading
i read twilight (yes that one) at the behest of my bestie and bc my mental health could not have gotten any worse in that moment. it has led to some uncomfortable realizations about my high school experience i will save for a therapist. i am mostly putting it here to remind myself that i read this book this year.
^ this is some silly goofy nonsense. not that i think people shouldn't be recognized at their retirement, but what happened to giving people nice watches instead of a thousand dollars in plaques
Saying that, the records did reveal something actually interesting: although the individual contract I sent a request related to was for a few thousand dollars, an attached blank purchase agreement (BPA) says that “the government estimates, but does not guarantee, that the volume of purchases through this BPA will be $360,000.00 over the term of the BPA.” So, a lot more than a few thousand bucks.
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watching
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Hang 'Em High (1968, dir. Post). certainly not clint's sluttiest role but really up there. i do wish he kept the fucked-out little rasp for the whole movie :(
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When an innocent man barely survives a lynching, he returns as a lawman determined to bring the vigilantes to justice.
it has a typical bizarre shoehorned romance that (i think) deeply undercuts the theme it wants to explore, but there is no on-screen rape. the bar is on the FLOOR with westerns and yet i DNF so so so many.
hell of a whump film. literally everything happens to jed cooper. i will trumpet this again from the rooftops: that character needs cbt both ways.
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playing
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HIGHWATER, a 2022 adventure/turn based strategy thing from Rogue Games, courtesy of Netflix Games, whose game library is a fucking nightmare to navigate on mobile.
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i loooove a water-based postapoc. the boat does in fact handle very poorly and like a horrible inflatable raft on mobile, which is both charming and frustrating.
i do not love a turn-based combat. despite the vibes off the charts, including a very well integrated "pirate radio" station as the game's soundtrack, i am not patient enough to muddle through complex turn-based combat. i'm sure someone had fun fighting off six guys and two bears (who aggro anyone and can one-hit anyone) and then a further three guys who show up for backup but i gave it the good old college try over two days and wasn't able to swing it. it would be nice to have either a difficulty setting or some way to spectate the ideal fight, but alas. a lot of fun environmental stuff in the fights you can use to your advantage, like the bears and these trees you can flatten your opponents with in a much earlier fight. there's a fun mix of different characters with different abilities and different weapons you pick up and keep during fights. i have no specific beef with this game's choice to make this the way you move through the game, it's just not my preferred genre.
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a lot of book and newspaper collectibles in this one that i feel of several minds about. it feels less like environmental storytelling through newspapers and just the devs telling me their opinion when they provide little book summaries like this. also i wish The Industry as a whole was more thoughtful about using the word "insurgent".
not a game for me, i have once again confirmed that i cannot tolerate a turn-based combat no matter how much seafaring postapoc you drench it in :(
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making
got a Phantom Menace era curtain panel for $4 at the thrift, and i was convinced it was fabric someone had made into a curtain panel until i got home and discovered it was an officially licensed product with bafflingly generous seams.
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it's about two-ish yards of a 50/50 cotton/poly blend, which i feel like i haven't seen in a while? i think the current fashion leans more 70/30 or 100 poly for curtains i've purchased. after i finish unpicking the seams and pinking it, i am going to throw it in the wash again with some vinegar and see if that softens it up any, or if it makes the transition between the wear lines on the seams and the body of the fabric any nicer.
thinking about what kind of dress to make that 1) shows off this extremely large scale pattern 2) does not look like i am wearing a paper bag, and 3) does not look like the late aughts craft trend of sewing a twin flat Star Wars sheet to a tube top and calling that a dress, bc that's how hard up we were for feminine merch. much to consider. maybe it Will be a maxi skirt with pockets and i can wear one of my seventy black tees on top?
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vynnytypesstuff · 2 years
Note
Umm hello!! I hope you don't mind me requesting this, I saw your dating hcs for Sun and Macaque and I loved them! May I request some marriage hcs?? Like what would include being married to these mistical monkeys?? Please and thank you! ^^
꒰୨୧﹒Lego Monkie Kid - Marriage Hcs for Sun Wukong and Macaque 
I swear I'm not dead it's just been busy lmao
Ofc I don't mind!! Here you go <33
Warnings: None
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Sun Wukong
• Dating him was one thing, but marriage? That's a whooole other ballgame. Definitely has its ups and downs and they are very prominent
• Not going to lie, you’re probably the one who proposes. Wukong is immortal, so the thought of proposing has never really crossed his mind (neither has marriage tbh). He doesn’t see the point in getting married since you two already act “married.” If you want to make it official, though, he’ll give in 
• He doesn't stress over taking you on extravagant dates or giving you expensive gifts when you're dating, and it's the same attitude when married. Hell, your wedding only consisted of family and a few close friends and there wasn't much planning involved 
• There’s not much discussion on the topic of moving in together, it kind of just happens on its own? When you were dating you’d always show up at each other’s homes (often unannounced on Wukong’s end) so there’s not really much to talk about since you're both already kind of used to staying in the same place together
• I hope you know how to cook because he sure can't! He travels a lot and ends up snacking on peaches and peach chips so he hasn't tried to learn. The most he can do in regards to "cooking" is brew you a cup of tea. Don't worry about preferences, at this point he'll eat anything as long as it tastes good.
• This man leaves his stuff all around the house. There's probably an extra room somewhere dedicated to some of the stuff he's hoarded over the years. Unless you want to spend days cleaning everything, make sure he picks up after himself
• One word. Commitment. We all know that Wukong can have some trouble when it comes to commitment Don't be surprised by his tendencies to run off on adventures while notifying you at the last second. You're going to need to call him out on his behavior because he most likely isn't aware that he may be hurting you 
• After you both start to get settled in the marriage, there are lots of traveling together, whether it be for business, adventures, or vacation. You've probably seen more little corners of the world now than before you were married
• Watching the sunrise together. I know, cheesy, but honestly, a relationship with Wukong is going to be a little cheesy sometimes. He loves watching the sunrise because it makes him feel at peace and boosts his mood (especially since the view from his home is incredible) and he wants to share that with you
• Personally, I think Wukong wouldn't mind trying to start a family, though he wouldn't be in any rush to do so. Don't get me wrong, he likes the thought of it, but even he's aware of how much knowledge he lacks when it comes to familial relationships
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Liu'er Mihou/Macaque
• His anxiety really said [insert upwards trend chart emoji here]. He didn't think he'd ever get married to anyone (not that he isn't over the moon about it). He's both excited and anxious
• Like Wukong, Macaque prefers a smaller wedding with a shorter guest list, though he takes wedding planning a bit more seriously. Part of the reason for this is that he likes things organized. The other part is that he wants your wedding to be as memorable for both of you as possible
• Congrats, you've domesticated Macaque /hj. Seriously though, he finds himself spending more time at home with you. When he leaves the house, it's typically to do something absolutely necessary (ex. when the Lady Bone Demon needs him for something). He sees both home and you as an escape from his troubles
• There's this brief period after you get married when he won't stop doing nice things for you (making/buying you gifts, doing tasks for you, etc.). Of course, it's because he loves you, but it's also because part of him thinks that the marriage is too good to be true and that he needs to prove that he's worthy enough for it
• Splitting chores because he doesn't think it's fair for one person to take all the workload, nor does he see a point in doing so. You'll take on the bigger chores (such as cleaning out the house) together
• Has a huge rush of pride when he sees you wearing the ring on your finger. Sometimes his eyes will linger on it, though he'll immediately avert his gaze if you notice
• You thought he couldn't get any more protective when you started dating, but that was only scratching the surface of it. It's still not too overbearing but it's on thin ice. At this point, you've probably become best friends with the shadow clones he sends to look after you when he's gone
• Speaking of shadows, he teleports around the house a lot. For example, you'll be doing a mundane chore (let's say the dishes) and he'll just jump down from the ceiling out of nowhere
• There's this sort of unspoken rule between the two of you where neither of you can go to bed upset/angry at the other. What I mean by that is if there's an argument, you can't leave it unresolved. It helps encourage communication between you two
• Ngl,,, I think Macaque is a family man at heart. Is it something he's going to admit on his own? That's debatable. He thinks that if he ever has kids he'll end up scaring or hurting them. He'll open up to you about the idea eventually, he just needs time
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Text
The Book Keeper
Kili x Reader
Fandom: Tolkien
Summary: On an unsuspecting summer afternoon, Gandalf the Gray shows up on your front porch and, much like he did to Bilbo, sweeps you up into an adventure you never could have imagined. With the knowledge of things to come, will you be able to change the ending?
Note: For my sanity, we’re pretending the book describes the dwarves the way they look in the movies. Also I’m gonna deviate a bit from book canon and dip my toes (more like my entire leg) into movie canon just because things flow a little better that way. Also also, I took some liberties with the Dwarvish courting customs. I will probably also be uploading this to AO3 at some point, separated into chapters for easier navigation. 
Bear with me and behold my Magnum Opus.
Warnings: canon-typical violence, the Hobbit spoilers, alcohol/drinking, some angst but a fluffy ending, mentions of injuries, kind of a slow burn but very fluffy
Word Count: 45k
Reader Is: Female, from our world, 23 years old
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Stuck. You were stuck. You read the last few sentences back to yourself, but they didn’t make anything click. You’d lost your steam and now, you were stuck once again.
Writing was a lot harder than it looked, that was for sure, but writing something fantasy? You were finding the task nearly impossible. When you’d started the project several months before, it had seemed so fun. You’d grown up on Narnia, on Lord of the Rings. Building your own fantasy world would be quite the task, you’d known, but perhaps you didn’t know quite how time consuming it would be, let alone when you added in the characters and their characterizations, which fantasy creatures to include, how the magic would work, how the weapons would work and so on and so forth.
Thinking about it too much gave you a headache, so you sat back in your chair, closing your laptop. Maybe you needed a break. Some more caffeine, maybe, some stretches for your strained neck and sore wrists.
You stood up and walked to the kitchen to make yourself an iced coffee, filling a glass halfway with ice before pouring in some cold brew and milk. You slipped a bamboo straw into your drink and stirred the liquids until they were better acquainted with one another.
You looked around the kitchen, thinking. This was your parents’ house. You’d moved back in with them after graduating college until you could figure out what to do with your degree. Your dream, of course, was to be a full time writer, to adventure, to find inspiration for a great story, but for now, you were working part time at the local book store, writing your stories in the time you were at home.
Most days, you were left to your own devices, your parents out of the house and the place all to yourself. It was quiet. Kind of lonely, if you were honest, and so you spent most of your days escaping into movies, books, and your own fantasy world. It was kind of monotonous. You couldn’t even count how many days you’d lost this way.
“Is this what burnout feels like?” You wondered, chuckling and shaking your head. It probably was, you reasoned. You’d spent so long at school that now that you were done, you didn’t really know what to do with your life, and…even if you did, you didn’t have the energy to do it.
You let out a long sigh, which was interrupted by the ringing of your doorbell.
Maybe it was the lap desk you’d ordered on Amazon, you thought in passing, walking in that direction. But when you got there, there was no box sitting on the porch. Instead, there was a tall man in a gray cloak and a gray pointy hat standing there.
“Um, hi?” You asked, your eyes narrowing at the stranger, who you were beginning to believe wasn’t just someone cosplaying Gandalf.
“(Y/N) (L/N),” He grinned. “I’ve been waiting to meet you for quite some time, now.”
“Gandalf?” You asked, and he nodded, seemingly proud of your answer.
“Hello, dear girl.” He tipped his hat to you. “May I come in?”
And while there was some part of you telling you this was simply too good to be true, another, more desperate part of you knew if he was real, he wouldn’t be here without good reason. “Uh, yeah, of course. Come on in.”
So, you made him a cup of tea and the two of you settled in to the couch in your living room. Gandalf looked around, amused by your house. He’d seen many houses in his time, although none quite so…modern. It wasn’t often he got the pleasure of travelling to your realm.
“So you’re…the Gandalf. Gandalf the Gray. From…the Tolkien books and stuff.” You wondered, sipping your iced coffee, still in a state of total shock. Maybe you’d fallen asleep at the keyboard and this was nothing more than an exhausted hallucination, cooked up by your writer’s block.
“Quite the same.” He nodded, a glimmer of amusement in his wise eyes. “I’m sure you’re wondering what I’m doing here.”
“Yeah, I…I am.”
“You see, I’m in need of some assistance. For an adventure. One you are…quite familiar with.”
You stared at him for a long time before remembering you should say something. “I’m not sure what you mean.”
“Oh I think you do.” Gandalf took a long sip from your Captain America mug. “Is there not a book you read in your youth that you wished…had a different ending, perhaps? One you loved very dearly, but…one of the characters you cared for had their own ending cut short…”
You gulped and thought for a long moment, the pieces clicking into place, despite the fact that you were afraid to put them into words. “Are you talking about…?”
His eyes glimmered. “You know what I’m talking about. If you want to come with me, take me up on this offer, all you need to do is follow me out that door.” He pointed to the front door and you stared at it. It didn’t look special, altered, but you knew his magic worked in mysterious ways.
“Why would you want me?” You asked quietly, suddenly unsure. The hope in your chest began to dwindle. “I’m…I mean look at me, I’m not much of an adventurer. I’m a writer. A college burnout. I don’t…” You chuckled pathetically. “I don’t know what I’m doing with my life.”
“You know, I had a Hobbit tell me this very morning that he wasn’t much for adventures either.” He shrugged. “But I believe you know the outcome of that as well. All of this time travel business is rather complicated, isn’t it?”
“What’ll my parents think if I just disappear? How long will I be gone?”
“When I bring you back, it’ll be as though you never even left.” Gandalf reasoned, tilting his head. “And after all, won’t an actual adventure help your story along?”
He drove a hard bargain, that was for sure.
You glanced down the hall towards your room. “Should I…grab my book, then?”
He winked. “You’ll need it.”
You walked to your room and scanned the shelf where you kept your fantasy books. There it was, nestled in there next to Narnia. The Hobbit.
You’d loved the book as a tween when you’d be forced to read it in middle school, but in all honestly, you hadn’t really touched it since. You’d watched the movies, sure, but they were hardly accurate. Your fingers tingled as you took it off of the shelf, and when you got back to the living room, Gandalf was gone.
“Gandalf?” You called. No response. “Gandalf?” Nothing again.
You looked down at the book and back up at the front door. It hadn’t changed at all. It looked ordinary. And yet, you felt a tug in your chest pulling you to see if what the wizard had said was true.
You chuckled and sighed. Or, you’d made the whole thing up in your head. Gandalf had never been there and never would. He didn’t exist.
And then you looked at the coffee table only to find your mug still sitting there, full of steaming tea.
And so, at the risk of feeling like an idiot, you walked to the door, opened it, and stepped over the threshold…into a cozy hobbit hole.
Immediately, you looked back, wide-eyed, expecting to find your front door from the outside, but instead seeing the wide, round door that stood at the entrance of Bilbo Baggins’ home. There was plenty of chatter inside, the deep voices of several rowdy men and one panicked, flustered hobbit.
“H-hello?” You called into the house softly, tentative. You walked a little further, following the voices. “Hellooo??”
Faintly, you heard a now-familiar voice. “Kili, would you go fetch our guest? Seems she’s a bit late.”
You heard a few voices murmur “She?”
Your heart raced as you stood there, waiting. You heard heavy footsteps, and then finally a figure came around the corner. There he was. Kili, the Dwarven Prince, the youngest of the dwarves in the company. He stood a head shorter than you with shoulder-length raven hair and a dusting of stubble across his chin. He was handsome, very much so, in fact. Just the way you’d always imagined him to be.
“Kili.” You whispered, the breath stolen from your lungs as you stood there, bewildered. This was real. He was real.
His breath hitched and he stared at you for a long moment, eyes sparkling as he looked up at you. “I-I’m sorry, have we met before?”
You blinked and shook your head. “Oh. Uh, no. Sorry. I’m (Y/N).”
Kili smiled, charismatic as ever. “You must be this Book Keeper Gandalf speaks of.”
“I guess I am, yeah.” You nodded, staring down at your shoes, shy all of a sudden. You’d been dreaming of this moment for years. Meeting him. Changing things. And yet, being here, doing it…it was terrifying to say the very least.
Your eyebrows furrowed when you got a good look at yourself, though. These were not clothes you were familiar with. Well, you were in a way, you supposed. These were the clothes you’d described the main character of your book to be wearing; a long orange hooded cloak, leather armor on top of a flowing white top. Around your right ring finger, its point facing outwards, was a claddagh ring with a green gem set into it.
You reached up to see if your ears came to a point, and surely enough, they did, just like the Sunset Fae at the heart of the fantasy story you’d been writing. Weird.
“We’re all in here.” Kili motioned behind him, to where he’d come. “Are you from around these parts?”
“Oh! No, I’m from…pretty far from here, actually.”
“Whereabouts?”
Gandalf saved you from having to answer that question. “Dwarves, this is (Y/N) (L/N). The Book Keeper. She’s come all the way from another realm to help you on this journey.”
The rest of the dwarves murmured amongst themselves.
“What does that mean, Gandalf?” One of the dwarves asked.
“Another realm?” whispered another.
“It’s true, what he says.” You confirmed, nodding and letting the words come to you. “Where I come from, there are many tales of this adventure, the things that…have yet to unfold for you. I’m pretty familiar with them. Gandalf thinks I’d be able to steer you in a better direction at some points.”
“Prophecies?” Asked a deep, stern voice. Looking at him, a regal dwarf with dark brown hair, a streak of gray near the front of his head. Your heart raced. He was Thorin, no doubt, and he was every bit as intimidating as you’d heard he’d be.
“Sort of. Where I’m from, it’s presented as a work of fiction, actually.” You nervously tucked a strand of hair behind a pointed ear.
He stiffened. “Are you an elf?”
Your eyes widened. “What? No, I’m not. I’m, uh…”
“She’s human.” Gandalf stated. “Where she’s from she’s human, that is. Our realm’s magic has changed her, it seems.”
“Human?” Kili whispered. Until he spoke, you’d nearly forgotten he was standing beside you, staring at you. In fact, his eyes hadn’t left you since you walked through the door.
You nodded, taking in the company for all that they were. Thirteen dwarves, one hobbit, and one wizard who had whisked you away from your normal life into something much more exciting, it seemed. You couldn’t help but get a little choked up, looking at all of them. They had so much left to endure, to survive, to experience.
“I want to help.” You assured them, your voice cracking and a tear slipping down your cheek. “I want to help you. If you’ll have me, your highness. I ask nothing in return. I’m merely…along for the adventure.”
Thorin thought for a long, hard moment. You waited on pins and needles until finally, he relented, “how could we refuse an offer like that?”
***
The next day came and with it, the beginning of the adventure. The dwarves loaned you weapons. Namely, Kili had. In fact, he hadn’t really taken his eyes off of you since the two of you met. It had been less than twenty-four hours, and he already seemed endlessly fascinated by you.
“Tell me again, what is a telephone?” He asked, amusement heavy in his tone.
“It’s a little device that lets you talk to someone really far away.” You explained.
“Incredible.” He chuckled. “And a camera?”
“It’s like a little box that captures memories. Preserves them as a picture so you can look at them later. Sometimes they’re even built into the phone.”
“Did you bring one with you, by any chance?”
You laughed and shook your head. “No, I didn’t, unfortunately. I’m not sure it would have stayed like that when I came here anyway.”
“Right.” Kili was quiet for a few moments as you walked on. “Do you think a telephone would work between realms?”
“Probably not. Why?”
“How else will I keep in touch with you when you go back?” He was flirting, now.
“Maybe Gandalf would bring our letters back and forth.” You suggested, partially joking, but the look it put on his face made you think it wasn’t a joke to him.
“You’d write to me?” He asked sincerely, catching your gaze with his own.
“Of course I would. I’ve been reading about you for years. It would be nice to make you read about me for a change.”
You caught Balin grinning in front of you, an amused, knowing look on his wise face. You’d always admired the oldest of the company. He was wise and kind, looked out for the rest of the dwarves like they were his kids. You hoped maybe at some point, that kind of affection would be turned to you as well.
Soon, you all came upon Gandalf, who had the horses for the journey. Each dwarf claimed a horse while Gandalf pulled you aside, a large bag in his hands. He gave it to you, a glimmer in his eye.
“I thought you could use some supplies for the journey. Some things that might bring you comfort in a strange and unfamiliar land.” He winked.
“Thank you.”
“Gandalf, it seems we’re a horse short.” Thorin informed the wizard. Bilbo had just arrived, and seeing as you weren’t a part of the plan until the day before, it made sense there wasn’t a horse for you. But that did raise the question: what were you going to do?
“Oh, are we?” Gandalf raised an eyebrow, feigning innocence. He counted absentmindedly while the dwarves saddled up. “Well, I suppose one of you will have to take the Book Keeper with you, if it’s not too much trouble.”
“I’ll take her!” Kili offered a little too enthusiastically and a little too quickly. Fili laughed at his brother’s display. He’d never seen him behave this way before. He’d had fleeting crushes, sure, but he’d never been desperate like this. He met your eyes, cheeks reddening and shy. “I…if you’d like me to.”
You grinned. “Sure, Kili. Thank you.”
“You seem smitten.” Gandalf commented quietly and you looked up at him.
“Have been since I was like twelve, but I think you knew that when you asked me to come.”
He laughed. “I know many things.” He replied cryptically. “And I knew we’d need someone with a strong motivation to turn the tides.”
“Well, let’s hope I’m the girl for the job.” You chuckled, slinging your bag over your shoulders. “Thank you. For everything.”
“Don’t thank me yet.” Gandalf chuckled.
You took a peek inside the bag he’d packed you and sitting right on top was a Polaroid camera. It looked out of place in Middle Earth, but you had a feeling it would come in handy.
“What is that?” Fili asked, he and Kili wandering over to you.
“This.” You pulled it out and held it up. “Is a camera.”
“A memory device!” Kili said, excited. “How does it work?”
“Like this.” You turned the camera so it was facing you, Kili, and Fili with Gandalf and some of the other dwarves standing in range, and you pressed the trigger. The camera clicked loudly and then a few moments later, a black square spit out the front of it.
You handed the undeveloped photo to Fili, who looked at it quizzically.
“This is blank.”
“It takes a second to develop. If you shake it, it helps.” You instructed him, and he took your advice, shaking the photo until slowly, figures took shape on its surface, the colors brightening. “See?”
“It’s us!” One of the other dwarves said excitedly, looking at what was unfolding amongst the party’s youngest members.
You grinned. “Yeah, it is.”
***
Once the excitement had died down and everyone was starting to get onto their horses, bidding the Shire one last goodbye, Kili helped you up onto the back of his horse with a strong tug. You adjusted yourself, an arm tentatively settling around his waist.
“You’re going to have to hold on tighter than that, Book Keeper.” He smirked, pulling your arms a bit tighter around himself. “I would hate to have you fall off and hit your pretty head.”
“I’ve never ridden a horse before.” You confessed, cheeks flushing red.
He furrowed his eyebrows. “How do you travel, then?”
“We have…um, motorized vehicles. No horses involved, usually.” You tried to explain in a way he would understand.
“Your realm sounds strange.” One of the other dwarves noted. You were pretty sure it was Ori, but there were a lot of names. Aside from the handful of them that you could identify easily, it was easy for them all to fall to the background. It was your personal mission, however, to make sure you knew them all pretty well before you left.
“Yeah, it kind of is. Especially compared to Middle Earth.” You chuckled.
“Can you fight, girl?” Thorin asked, skeptical of this girl his nephew already seemed too fond of.
“Admittedly, no. There’s no real reason to fight where I’m from, most of the time.” You told him, honest about it. You had no reason to make an enemy of the king of Erebor.
“We’ll teach you how to take care of yourself.” Balin assured you. “Kili there is an excellent archer. I’m sure he could teach you a thing or two.”
“I did archery at camp once.” You reminisced. “I was awful at it.”
“Oh, nonsense.” Kili shook his head and looked at you over his shoulder, smirking and confident. “We’ll make an archer of you yet.”
“We’ll give you sword lessons with Bilbo.” Dwalin joked.
“Good. I’ll need all the lessons I can get.” You chuckled to yourself.
***
The first night on the road, you all stopped just before sunset and set up a camp. You helped the boys unpack things, helped cook dinner, and before long, you’d all settled around a fire, eating dinner and talking amongst yourselves.
The fire’s warmth felt good on your skin, and once the sun went down the rest of the way, the stars in the sky were stunning. You exhaled a long breath, letting go of the stress you’d been holding in. One day down and nothing had gone wrong.
Gandalf was at the edge of camp, smoking his pipe. You felt safe with him there, like nothing could go wrong as long as the wizard was present. You knew, though, that at some point, he’d have to leave, and you’d be more or less on your own.
You pulled the book out of your bag and flipped past the beginning, reading by the fire’s light.
“Checking our progress?” Kili asked, sitting beside you, his leg touching yours and his warmth seeping right through your clothes.
“Something like that.” You chuckled, nodding. You flipped the page and brushed a piece of hair out of your face.
“How are we doing?”
“It’s hard to tell. Everything is so…condensed. There are weeks or even months between some of the major plotpoints.” You informed him, closing the book and letting it sit in your lap. “We should be okay for a while, I think.”
“And then what?” Asked Bilbo, obviously very nervous about the possibilities of this adventure.
“Trolls.” You replied, scrunching your nose.
“Oh.”
“I have to figure out how much I’m supposed to tell you…what things need to happen and which ones can be avoided.” You shook your head. “It’s a tough call to make.”
“I trust you to make the right decisions.” Thorin said, his voice stern, but a little warmer than it had been since he had met you.
“I’ll do my best.” You promised. The chill of the wind caused you to shiver a bit and Kili took notice immediately.
He got up, walked to his supplies, and returned moments later with one of the blankets he had packed, draping it across your shoulders. You were a lot warmer, but you weren’t sure it was entirely from the blanket.
“Thank you, Kili.”
“Of course.” He nodded, sitting beside you again. “You know, you haven’t told me how you knew my name.” His voice was quiet, soft.
You crossed your legs beneath yourself, curling further into his blanket. “What do you mean?”
“Back in the Shire, even before we introduced ourselves to you, you knew who I was.” He looked at you, his eyes sparkling once more in the firelight. The way the orange glow lit up his features made him look so…princely. Sometimes you forgot he was royalty. Times like this, though, it was impossible to not remember.
“Oh. Yeah. That.” You chuckled, looking away from him and instead at the fire in front of the two of you. “I’ve had this book since I was about twelve years old. I’ve read it a handful of times…I guess I could just tell it was you. It’s going to take me some time to put the rest of the names to the faces, though.”
Kili smiled, a warmth blooming in his chest. You didn’t recognize most of the others, but you recognized him. This was shaping up to become quite the adventure indeed.
***
Travelling so much after you’d been comfortable staying in one spot at home was, admittedly, a lot to adjust to. The first few days had taken their toll on your body. You were sore all over from riding on horseback for long hours and, additionally from sleeping on the ground every night. Some nights, you got lucky and the group would stop in a grassy area to make camp, but most nights, it was hard rock beneath you, which wasn’t very forgiving.
One of the days brought the group to a village, where you were able to replenish supplies in the market. Kili bought a beginner’s bow and a set of arrows to teach you to shoot with. He and Fili had been appointed as your unofficial bodyguards, as well as your teachers and they were taking the job very seriously.
They took you out hunting with them, and Kili thought it would be the perfect time for your first archery lesson.
“So what do you remember of your archery lessons in your realm, Book Keeper?”
“Not a lot.” You chuckled. “I remember how to notch an arrow, I think. It was hard to pull the string back.”
He smirked, handing you the children’s bow and quiver full of rudimentary arrows. “It just takes practice is all. We’ll have to build up strength in your arms, work up to a full size bow.”
“You think I’ll get good enough for that?”
The prince winked. “I know you will.” He searched the trees and spotted a sturdy branch that would be within your reach so you could retrieve the arrow once you shot it into the bark. “Aim for that branch there, the one with the moss growing on it.”
“Alright.” You pulled an arrow from the quiver and notched it, slowly pulling back the string. You tried to account for distance, but when you released the arrow, it arched pathetically and skidded through the fallen leaves on the ground.
“You’re tense.” Kili noted, taking a step closer to you, his eyes the tiniest bit flirty. “Do I make you nervous?”
“A little.” You admitted, laughing. “I mean, all of you do, not just…” You paused. “Being here is a lot. I’ve looked up to you guys for a long time. I’ve wanted to come here for a long time and never thought I would ever get the chance to. I guess I just don’t want to let you down.”
“You couldn’t disappoint me even if you tried.” Kili said. “I know Uncle can be a bit…stern sometimes, but I don’t think it’s untrue to say we’ve all been fascinated by you. It’s obvious where you’re from is quite a bit different than here, but you haven’t complained once, as opposed to the hobbit, who complains on the hour.”
You laughed a bit at that. It was true, Bilbo had been rather fussy and timid thus far on the journey.
“You’re not like anyone I’ve ever met before, you know that?”
You smirked. “Really?”
“You’ve just got this…spark.” He shrugged, snapping a twig beneath his boot as he took another step closer to you. “Every time we turn a corner, it’s like your face just lights up with wonder. It’s like you’ve never seen a tree before.”
You burst into laughter. “We have trees in my realm, Kili.”
“Do you? I didn’t know.” He teased.
“Where I’m from, I have to travel quite a ways to see really beautiful places, and here, there’s a new one every few miles. I’m trying to soak it all in before I go back, I guess.”
He hummed, chuckling to himself. “Yeah, well, it can be dangerous sometimes, too.” He motioned to the bow in your hand. “Notch another arrow.”
You did as you were told and Kili stood behind you, examining your stance. You felt a large, rough, warm hand on your shoulder, guiding your elbow a bit lower. It was like your skin was electrified where he touched you, goosebumps pricking up on your arms, your heart racing at his proximity.
“Relax this hand.” He advised, his fingers curling around the hand on the bow. “Touch your thumb to your lip. And take a breath in.”
You inhaled.
“Release.”
You let go of the arrow and it shot right into the branch Kili had told you to aim for. “Woah!”
“There you go! See? You’re a natural!” He praised, that brilliant smile of his on his face. “You’ll be slaying beasts in no time.”
“You think so?”
He met your eyes, his smile softening into something more meaningful. “There’s not a single doubt in my mind.”
***
A few weeks had passed. You had managed to help the party avoid the conflict with the trolls, but had still wound up in Rivendell, in Elrond’s care. Thorin didn’t much care for elves, but he was managing to keep control of his temper.
Elrond had prepared a great feast for all of you, a celebration to welcome you to his land. And thus, you got to sleep in a proper bed for the first time in weeks. In your chambers, there had been a dress laid out for you, silky and orange, as well as an intricate elven circlet with a few gemstones on it.
You changed into the dress without help and headed down to the celebration, where the others were already seated at a table. Immediately, you felt fourteen pairs of eyes on you as you made your way to the only empty seat left, the one beside Kili. Huh. You wondered how that had happened.
“There she is!” Gandalf exclaimed excitedly, causing your already red cheeks to flush even redder. You didn’t like being the center of attention like this.
Gandalf, Elrond, and Thorin had a table to themselves, the rest of the party at a longer table.
“The Keeper of the Book, I presume.” Elrond said, tipping his head. “Pleasure to meet you. Gandalf has told me all about your journey from another realm to be here.”
“It’s an honor to meet you Lord Elrond.” You told him, heart racing as you met yet another hallmark character who had made a mark on your young adulthood. You curtsied. “I apologize if some of your customs escape me. I’m…not very familiar with them, admittedly.”
“That is quite alright.” He smiled. “I’m sure it has been quite the learning curve already.”
“I brought you a gift.” Gandalf confessed, presenting a glass bottle from beneath the table, a black cherry cream soda you were fond of back home.
You gasped, excited for even a taste of home after all of the time that had passed. You knew things had barely begun, though. It would be a long time before you would be able to go to a grocery store again. “Oh my gosh. Thank you so much! I’ll cherish it.”
You walked to the seat that had been left for you and sat down.
“You look different. Did you do something with your hair?” Ori asked innocently.
“Yeah, I pulled a few strands in the front down.” You chuckled, twirling one around your finger. “I’m also wearing a dress instead of pants, so that might be it.”
“Dressed up for these elves, but not for your traveling companions?” Gloin teased and you chuckled, twisting off the metal bottle cap and taking a sip, relishing in the sweet taste.
“My apologies. I’ll be sure to get all dolled up for our next hike through the mud.” The dwarves all laughed. “It kind of reminds me of my prom dress, actually.” You noted, admiring the shimmering elven fabric.
“What’s a ‘prom?’” asked Fili.
“It’s a dance, a big formal event in my realm. The boys ask the girls to go with them as their date and it’s a big deal. There’s always drama about who’s asking who. It celebrates your coming of age, kind of, because it’s at the end of high school. Everyone dresses up really fancy and dances all night. It’s a fun time.”
“You went to this prom? Someone asked you?” Kili asked.
“Funny story, actually. Someone did ask me to prom. Serenaded me with this big dramatic song and everything; it was a little much if you ask me, but we were friends, so I was excited to go. I got my dress, got everything ready, and then a few weeks before the dance, he told me he didn’t want to go with me anymore and asked someone else to go with him instead.” You said, taking a long sip of your drink.
“How dare he disrespect you like that?” Kili shook his head. “One would be lucky to have the opportunity to take you to an event of that kind!”
“Yeah, I was kind of upset about it. My friends ended up taking me with them, but I still got left alone during the slow songs.” You shrugged. “It was a while ago, though. I don’t think about it a lot anymore.”
Kili huffed. “Good. He doesn’t deserve your attention.”
“Is that ale, lassie?” Dwalin asked, distracted by the bottle you’d been sipping from.
You laughed. “Oh, no. It’s soda. It’s like a sweet, sugary drink from home. This one is black cherry flavored.”
Kili hummed curiously and you turned your attention to him again.
“Do you want to try?”
He looked from the bottle to you and his eyes softened. “You’d share with me?”
“Yeah, of course.” You shrugged, sliding the bottle to him.
Kili took a tentative sip, smiling as soon as the sweet drink hit his tongue. “You’re right. It is quite sweet.”
“Do you like it?” You asked and he nodded.
“I do, but…you should enjoy it. I have a feeling it’ll be a good long while before you get another.” He slid the bottle back to you, his warm hand lingering on yours for a moment. You couldn’t fight the blush that overtook your cheeks, you only hoped it wasn’t too noticeable to the other dwarves.
After the feast, there were some other festivities. The elves started dancing and playing music, moving with grace. Most of the dwarves had had a few drinks too many by that point. You could tell Kili was a little drunk, too, and Dwalin had told you earlier that the youngest dwarf was a bit of a lightweight.
At the moment, he was across the room with Fili, drinking and laughing while you took in the festivities. It was nice to see them have fun together. You hoped you’d be able to ensure they would have fun like this for many, many years to come. It saddened you to think of the end of the journey. That was the whole point you were here, of course; everything would be more or less smooth for the dwarves and their wellbeing until that final battle. But one wrong move, one missed moment and it could all be for nothing.
The more you got to know the dwarven princes, and their uncle, for that matter, the more you knew it would devastate you if you failed.
“Are you alright, Book Keeper?” Balin, perhaps the only sober dwarf at the moment, asked, sitting beside you at the edge of the party. “You seem distracted.”
“I’m alright, yeah,” you nodded, taking a sip of blueberry-flavored mead. “Just got a lot on my mind is all.”
“About the journey? Or are you homesick?”
“Definitely not homesick.” You laughed. “I don’t know what it is about this place, but…I kind of feel like I was always supposed to be here. Born in the wrong realm or something.”
“You fit in well.” Balin agreed. “The company has taken to you fairly quickly as well. Especially, ah,” he got a mischievous glimmer in his eye, “a certain dwarf prince?”
You blushed, tucking a piece of hair behind your ear. “Yeah, it seems he has.”
“Can’t say I blame him. Beautiful woman from another realm comes here and saves us from trolls and who knows what else…” Balin chuckled.
The two of you looked across the room, where it looked like Fili was giving his brother one serious pep talk.
“Kili hasn’t had much luck in matters of love, I’m afraid.” He told you, his voice softer, as to not be overheard. “His looks are a bit unorthodox by Dwarven standards.”
“Really…” You murmured, shocked. “Well, by human standards—of my realm at least—he is…very handsome.”
“You think so?” Balin grinned.
“I have since the very beginning.” You told him. “He’s…” your voice got quiet. “He’s incredible.”
“Sorry to interrupt, my lady.” One of the elves came up to you, offering his arm. “Might I have this dance?”
When you looked up, Kili was about halfway across the dance floor, frozen on his way to you, staring at the elf who had offered you his arm.
“I’m flattered, really, I am.” You told the elf. “But, um, I’ve promised this dance to another.”
“I understand.” He bowed and made his leave.
Once he saw that the elf had left you, Kili’s eyebrows furrowed and he continued crossing the dance floor to you.
“You turned him away.” Kili stated, sounding confused. “Why?”
You shrugged. “I’ve had my eye on someone else all night.”
“Oh. I see.” Kili’s face fell and he started to turn, but you grabbed his wrist.
“You, Kili. I’ve been waiting to dance with you.” You chuckled.
Immediately, that handsome grin of his found his face and he took your hand, taking you out on the dance floor. His arm settled around your waist, pulling you close, while the other hand held yours. Despite the height difference, it worked.
“I haven’t found the time to tell you yet, but…” He paused, staring at you like you were made of starlight. “You look beautiful tonight, (Y/N).”
You smiled and your heart pounded. “Thank you, Kili.”
“Of course. I hope this dance can begin to make up for the ones you spent alone that night.” He tucked a piece of hair behind your ear, his large hand warm and gentle. “I wish I could have been there to make it right.”
“I wish you could have been there, too. You would have been an awesome date.”
“You think so?”
“Yeah, of course. It’s not every night a girl gets to dance with a handsome prince.” The way you said it was kind of teasing, but you meant it. He really was handsome and he literally was a prince.
He chuckled, blushing at the sentiment. He was quiet for a while before he said, “It feels like you were meant to be here.”
“In Rivendell?”
“In Middle Earth.” Kili clarified. “With our company.”
“I was just talking to Balin about that, actually.”
Kili smiled kind of sadly before continuing. “You don’t think you’ll be able to stay, do you? When all of this is over?”
Your breath hitched and you met his eyes. “If I’m given the chance…I will. In a heartbeat. But I’m not sure if that’s how this works.”
“Okay.” Kili nodded, willing to accept that answer. “Well, for the record, I hope you do. Things would be boring without you around.”
“I hope so too.”
***
The days ran into one another, as did the weeks. You were accustomed to the road now. You spent most of your time riding with Kili, but every so often, you rode with some of the other Dwarves as well. Balin liked to trade stories with you, Dori and you would talk about what kinds of wine you preferred. They were all good company and they took care of you, looked after you.
Kili had been continuing his lessons in teaching you to shoot, and you’d made quite a bit of progress. Fili taught you to use a sword and how to properly put on armor. You had many long chats with Bilbo about the Shire and warned him to send him a message back home to ensure his family members didn’t sell his furniture while he was traveling back home.
You even got to know Thorin a bit, although he was still very guarded, especially to the two outsiders of the group. You knew eventually those walls would come down, but you also didn’t blame him for having them; he’d been through a lot.
It was night once again, and you were trying to sleep, but it was a particularly noisy night. The crickets were especially loud. Kili was taking the first watch with Fili, so, as he did whenever he was on watch, he put his extra blanket atop you to keep you warm.
“She’s so beautiful when she sleeps…” You heard Kili murmur to his brother, convinced you were out for the night.
“Have you told her yet?”
“That she’s beautiful? Yes, countless times, brother.” You could imagine the dwarf’s confident grin as he said it.
“Not that. Did you tell her that she’s…your One?”
Now that was news. You didn’t think Ones were a thing. Not as far as you knew. You were certain they were something cooked up by the fan community in your world, not something that was real.
You heard Kili sigh before replying, “I don’t even know how to begin to tell her that. Not when I don’t even know if she’ll still be here after we fight the dragon.”
“Then you should be making the most of the time you have with her while she’s here!” Fili whispered passionately. “Not every dwarf is so lucky, you know.”
“I know that.” Kili was quiet for a long moment before relenting, “I’ll tell her. As soon as I can figure out how.”
“Good.” Fili said, sounding proud of his efforts. “It seems she really cares for you, brother.”
And though you were tempted to say something, to break the silence and tell him then and there, you didn’t want the brothers to think you’d been eavesdropping. There would be a better time to tell him; you only hoped it would come sooner rather than later.
***
With your new revelation, every day became a new adventure, a waiting game in which you would see whether or not Kili would confess to you the way he felt for you. Looking back on all of the evidence, it seemed especially obvious. Right from the very beginning, he’d been enamored by you and the world you came from. Now you knew why.
This was, of course, alongside the usual adventure of running from monsters, in this case, a group of goblins. Although you knew it was important for Bilbo to get the ring, and it therefore needed to happen, you still weren’t particularly looking forward to it. The trolls, you had been able to evade with the logic that the elves in Rivendell would give you whatever weapons the dwarves would have recovered from the Troll cave anyway, which they had.
You’d all slept in a cave to escape the storm raging outside, bedrolls close together. Kili slept facing you. Every once in a while, you’d open your eyes and look at him, to make sure he was still there. One of those times, he was looking at you, too.
“Can’t sleep?” He whispered, his voice deep with exhaustion.
“I’ve got a bad feeling about this cave…” You admitted, something sinking in the pit of your stomach. You felt bad for not telling them, but it had to happen and you knew if Thorin had known, you’d all have set up camp somewhere else.
“Mmm.” Kili hummed, nodding. He scooted his bedroll a bit closer to yours and your heart leapt in your chest. Maybe this would be the moment he’d tell you, finally, the thing you knew he’d been holding in for so long. “Well don’t worry your pretty head too much, Book Keeper. Whatever happens, you’ve got thirteen fiercely loyal dwarves here who will do anything to protect you.”
You nodded, exhaling a shaky breath.
“You never did tell me what that ring means.” Kili said, drawing attention to the claddagh ring, still wrapped around your finger. “That’s a beautiful emerald. Did someone from home give it to you?”
“It’s a claddagh ring. I don’t have one back home, but it just kind of…appeared on me when I got here.” You admitted. “I’ve always been fascinated by them. When you wear it like this, on the right hand with the point facing outwards, it means you’re looking for love, but you haven’t found it yet.”
He was quiet for a moment, nodding. His hand reached out, his fingers brushing yours, warm and calloused. They were warrior’s hands, and seeing his with your own just felt right. The contrast between you was perfect. “What would happen if you…found love?”
“Then you flip it over so the heart is upright.” You told him. “And if you get engaged, it moves to the other hand.”
“I quite like that.”
You chuckled softly. “Yeah?”
“Yeah.” He smiled.
A cold wind blew into the cave and you shivered, pulling your blankets closer.
“Come here.” Kili’s hand wandered from yours and instead pulled you closer to him.
You surrendered to his warmth, to his scent of leather and campfire and pine. His hand cradled your head, combing through your hair with gentle fingers. It did calm you down enough to finally get some decent sleep for the night.
But just before you drifted off into slumber, you heard Kili whisper, “Sleep, Amrâlimê.”
And you did get a few hours of quiet peace before the floor of the cave opened up beneath you.
Thus began your long descent into the goblins’ cave. The company screamed all the way down until you were met by hundreds of terrifying goblins, shuffling you all to the feet of their king, a massive, horrifying thing who looked at you all like you were their next meal.
“What do we have here? Thieves? Spies? Assassins?” The king said. “Why are you here dwarves?” His eyes fell on you. “And an…elf?”
“Close enough.” You muttered, heart absolutely pounding in your chest. You were pretty sure you were about to pass out from the shock of it all.
“Bring the tall one to me. And search them all. Every crevice.” The king ordered, and one of his henchman kicked you in the back of the knees, forcing you to the ground with a pained yelp, dragging you over to their king, who hoisted you off of the ground by your hair.
“Don’t you dare touch her!” Kili yelled, struggling against the goblins that were holding him, but it didn’t seem to stop the other goblins from beginning to search you. “DON’T TOUCH HER! LET HER GO NOW!”
“Ohhhh, the youngest dwarf has a soft spot, does he?” The goblin king laughed, holding you in front of his face to get a closer look. “I can’t begin to see why.”
“Let me go, you big ugly bitch!” You squirmed, kicking the goblin king straight in the eye, causing him to flinch and drop you onto the ground, hard. You groaned and tried to get your bearings. Luckily, you were close enough to the dwarves that they were able to tug you back behind them. Gloin grabbed your leg and dragged you into the middle of the company again while Bifur and Bofur helped you to your feet. Your head hurt from the hair pulling.
“OW! She’s a feisty one.” The goblin king rubbed his eye and pointed at you with a hideous finger. “Fetch the torture devices. We’ll start with her.”
“Over my dead body you will.” Kili readied himself, eyes dark and voice as intense as rumbling thunder.
The other dwarves all took up a position of attack to protect you. Even though their weapons had been taken, they were still willing to fight for you.
But they didn’t get the chance to. At precisely the moment you needed him, Gandalf busted through the wall of the cave, stunning the goblins for a few moments with blinding light and giving the dwarves the chance to pick up their weapons.
The battle broke out. You did your best with the weapon Dwalin hastily shoved into your hand, but for the most part, you just followed the rest of the dwarves, keeping an eye on Kili and dodging the goblins that came at you. He fought harder than you had ever seen him, an intense fire burning in him. It was, perhaps, the scariest and most exhilarating experience of your entire life.
One of the goblins’ claws scratched your arm and you winced, swinging your sword at him and taking him out. The group reconvened on a bridge only for it to collapse beneath you, sending all of you plummeting, plummeting, plummeting down to the bottom of the cave. You laid there on your back, pretty sure this was what a cracked rib felt like. You sputtered and tried to lift your head from the hard surface beneath you.
“(Y/N)?” You heard Kili’s voice as the others began to get their bearings. He looked through the group, becoming more panicked by the second. “(Y/N)?!”
“I’m here.” You groaned weakly, raising your hand so he could find you. “I’m okay.”
“Thank Mahal.” He let out a relieved sigh walking to you and helping you to your feet. “A-are you hurt?”
“I’m okay.” You nodded, out of breath with tears in your eyes. Your knees wobbled, but he held you upright, supporting your weight. Then your eyes widened, remembering. You looked up and sure enough, more goblins were climbing down towards you. “We have to go.”
“Towards the daylight!” Gandalf insisted, leading the charge out of the cave and into the light of the nearly setting sun.
Once you all were finally able to stop, you collapsed to your knees, catching your breath. Kili knelt beside you, looking you over.
“I’m okay.” You told him. “I’m nauseous and definitely bruised a bit, but I’m okay. Are you?”
He reached up and brushed the hair out of your face, his hand pulling your face down towards him. He rested his forehead against yours, closing his eyes and letting out a long, shaking sigh. “I’m okay now.”
“Gandalf, um…” You reached into your pack and pulled out the book, using your bookmark to open to the chapter you’d all arrived at, still quite out of breath from the whole ordeal, but still focused on the adventure and the group’s safety. “You might want to call the Eagles now.”
“A very good call, Book Keeper.” Gandalf nodded, counting the dwarves before getting a moth’s attention.
You looked around the group and noticed one was missing. Bilbo. “Guys, where’s Bilbo?”
“I think he slipped away before the goblins grabbed us.” Nori said while the others started frantically looking around for him.
“I knew it. I knew he’d run right back home at the nearest opportunity.” Thorin said, shaking his head. “We will not be seeing our hobbit again. He is long gone.”
“No. He isn’t.” Bilbo walked out from behind a tree, appearing seemingly from nowhere. “I fell into a cavern. It was difficult to find a way out. I’m sorry.”
Thorin hesitated for a moment before looking at Bilbo. “My apologies. I just thought—”
“I know what you thought. I’m…not quite acclimated to this lifestyle. I miss my books and my reading chair and my hobbit hole. That’s my home. That’s why I’m here. Because you don’t have one; it was taken from you. And if I can…I want to help you take it back.”
The company shared a long, warm moment in the sun, which was interrupted by the sound of the wargs on the horizon.
You groaned. “Great. Right on schedule.”
“You knew—” Fili realized.
“Yep.” You nodded, exhaling a breath. Kili pulled you to your feet. “I know a lot I’m not supposed to.”
“Out of the frying pan…” Thorin started, his voice wary of the oncoming danger.
“And into the fire.” Gandalf motioned forward. “Run!”
So, once again, you were on the move, running to the edge of the cliff, away from the angry, snarling beasts on your trail. The group climbed up pine trees and just before the wargs arrived at the base of the tree, so did the Eagles.
“A very good call indeed, Book Keeper.” Thorin praised.
You chuckled. “Thought the group might prefer to not be torn apart by giant wolves.”
You got onto the back of one of the eagles, followed quickly by Fili and Kili, whose arm fastened around you, holding you in place. You looked at him as soon as he touched you, not quite surprised it was him. It always seemed to be him.
“Breathe, Amrâlimê.” He spoke softly, the word cradled so gently on his tongue. “You can breathe now. I won’t let you fall.”
“Okay.” You nodded, adjusting to a slightly more stable position on the eagle, your arm wrapping around his back for extra support. You took in the sights of Middle Earth. It was absolutely gorgeous from this high up, especially now that you were up and out of harm’s way.
“Are you okay?” he asked again.
You nodded and looked at him, admiring the way the sunset framed his features. Leaning forward, you pressed your forehead against his and closed your eyes for a long moment, repeating his sentiment from earlier. “I’m okay now.”
“Good.”
It was quiet for a long moment before you asked quietly. “What does that word mean?”
“Oh…it’s not in your fancy book?” He teased, a cheeky smirk gracing his handsome face.
“It’s not.” You confirmed.
His eyes softened, the wind blowing through his silky dark hair. “I think you know what it means.”
You tilted your head, eyes exploring his own. “I think I do too…”
***
A few hours later, the company arrived at Beorn’s house, tucked into the woods. Gandalf went with Bilbo first, instructing the rest of you to come in small groups spaced about five minutes apart, as to not overwhelm the skin-changer with guests all at once.
Finally, you rolled up your sleeve to look at the cut on your arm. It didn’t look deep, but it did look dirty. You didn’t even want to know where that goblin’s claws had been. If you weren’t careful, you’d get an infection.
“Let me see it, girl.” Balin said, motioning you over. You walked to him and sat on a large rock, letting him look over the wound. “He got you good, didn’t he?”
“Looks like it, yeah. It doesn’t hurt too bad anymore.”
“You’re hurt?” Kili asked from somewhere behind you.
“She’s alright, Kili.” Balin assured the prince, a knowing twinkle in his eye. “We’ll get her cleaned up, lad.”
Fili pulled Kili off to the side while Balin and Oin tended to your arm, putting a disinfectant that stung pretty bad on it before wrapping it in gauze.
“Thank you.” You told them sincerely.
“And thank you. I have a feeling our injuries would have been a lot worse had you not told Gandalf to call the Eagles when he did.”
“Yeah, I figured the rest of the journey would probably be a bit easier if I didn’t get a leg ripped off by a giant wolf.” You chuckled, shrugging.
“How are things with Kili?” Balin asked, his voice incredibly quiet.
You glanced over to where Kili and Fili were standing, talking very passionately about something. They were definitely out of earshot, though.
“Can you keep a secret?” You asked him, heart racing.
Balin nodded, his eyes kind. “Of course, dear.”
You took a breath and let the words fall out of your mouth all at once. “I think I’m falling in love with him.”
Bofur perked up when he heard this, turning around with a huge grin on his face. “I knew it! I heard you two last night having a little chat.”
“I forgot you were on watch.” You chuckled, cheeks burning. “I…I don’t know. I think he feels the same, but—”
“He feels the same.” Balin took your hand in both of his. “I’ve known that lad for his entire life and I’ve never seen him so enamored with anyone before.”
Bofur agreed. “Seems he had a rather rude awakening when the goblins almost had their way with you.”
“Yeah…” You thought back on that moment. You’d never seen him yell like that before, never so angry, and all because you were in danger.
“We already consider you one of us, lassie. Not just anyone would be brave enough to kick a goblin king in the eye.” Dwalin said, coming from behind you and putting a strong hand on your shoulder. “And if you feel strongly for him, you should ask him to court.”
Your eyes widened. Ah yes, the ever-elusive dwarven courting customs. “How do I do that? No one’s ever explained it to me.”
The other dwarves chuckled.
“That explains a lot.” Bofur smirked. “Tell you what, we’ll—”
“(Y/N), Fili and I are leaving.” Kili told you, motioning in the direction of Beorn’s house. “Would you like to come with us or wait for the next group?”
You looked at Balin, who nodded, encouraging you to go.
“Go with the lads. We’ll speak yet.” He promised.
You walked with Kili, glancing back at the three of the dwarves who now knew exactly how you felt about their prince. You only hoped it wouldn’t spread through the rest of the group like wildfire.
***
When the next morning came, Beorn, who was a spectacle in and of himself, served a hearty breakfast for you, Gandalf, Bilbo, and the dwarves. It was a beautiful morning, fog lingering in the trees, sunlight streaming through it.
For the first time in a long time, you felt utterly safe. You knew nothing would happen while you were at Beorn’s house. In Mirkwood shortly after…that was a different story altogether. But for the day, you were safe from goblins and wargs and whatever else was lurking out in the distance.
Part of you wondered if Bilbo had gotten the ring, if it had been worth not warning the others of the perils of that specific cave, but you knew you couldn’t ask him. Not now at least.
You sipped a mug of warm tea Gandalf had made for you, its steam gently waking you up. The mug was very large, as was everything in Beorn’s house, which seemed to make the dwarves look impossibly small, and, you hated to admit it, very cute.
“You sleep okay?” Kili asked, mouth half-full of scrambled eggs.
You nodded. “I slept fine. Did have some weird dreams, though.”
“About what?” Fili asked, perking up.
“I was at a school for wizards in this massive castle and the stairs were moving and I couldn’t get to class.” You told them, chuckling. Maybe Hogwarts was real too, somewhere. After all, Middle Earth was.
“We almost got killed by goblins and you’re having nightmares about school?” Bofur asked, incredulous.
“She’s taking this Book Keeper thing to new heights.” Ori added, laughing.
“I’ve been out of school for almost a whole year now and I’m still having nightmares about it.” You chuckled, shaking your head. “I really don’t think they’ll ever stop.”
“How long are humans from your realm in school?” Dori asked.
“We start school around age five, sometimes sooner. We graduate high school at eighteen, and then if we choose to go to college after, most graduate around twenty-two or twenty-three.” You told them, causing Kili to promptly choke on his drink. “Are you okay?”
“How old did you say you were?” Fili checked again, his eyes wide.
Dwalin slapped Kili’s back until he regained his composure.
Thinking about it further, you weren’t sure age had ever come up with the dwarves. “I’m twenty-three. Why?”
They all shared looks between each other, some laughing softly, others looking genuinely shocked.
“Guys, are you okay? How old are you?” You asked, heart racing. “Dwalin, how old are you?”
“I’m a hundred and sixty-nine years, lassie.” He said.
“Oh my god.” You muttered softly, a hand on your mouth. “Seriously? The whole time?”
“He’s being genuine, Book Keeper. Dwarf aging is quite different than that of men.” Balin told you, trying to be gentle.
“I’m only eighty-two if that makes you feel better.” Fili offered, his eyes sincere.
You stared at him. “It does not.”
“And on that happy note, I believe I’ll borrow the Burglar and the Book Keeper for a moment.” Gandalf said, a mischievous smile on his face as he stood from the head of the table.
“Perfect timing.” You said, grabbing your mug and following after him. Bilbo walked beside you, so you looked down and asked. “How old are you?”
“I’m fifty-one.” Bilbo replied.
“See, that seems more reasonable.” You laughed, still in disbelief. “A hundred and sixty-nine…”
Gandalf led the two of you to Beorn’s gardens, which were quite lush and beautiful, filled with all manner of plants. A few chickens wandered the property and wildflowers grew along his cobblestone fence.
Bilbo bent down and picked an acorn off of the ground, tucking it into his pocket. You grinned. Cute.
“I’m merely here to check your progress. How is everything going?”
“Well, I’d say.” Bilbo said, sounding a bit unsure. He looked up at you for insight.
“We’re looking good on my end.” You nodded. “These next few days are going to be rough, though.”
“Undoubtedly.” Gandalf nodded. “The two of you should…formulate a plan together before leaving for Mirkwood. I’m sure some teamwork could help smooth things over.”
“I think so too.” You nodded.
“Excellent. Discuss. I will see you in Erebor.”
“Where are you going?” Bilbo asked.
“I have some unavoidable business to attend to, I’m afraid. But all of you are in good hands.” Gandalf assured him, nodding before walking back into the house to say goodbye to the other dwarves.
As soon as you and Bilbo were alone, you asked him, “Did you get it?”
He looked puzzled. “Did I get what?”
You wiggled your ring finger, holding up your ring.
He thought for a moment and then nodded, confirming. “I did, yes. Was I supposed to?”
“Yes. Good.” You exhaled a sigh of relief. “Don’t tell the others. But…you’ll need to use it on occasion. As you see appropriate. I don’t want to make you overthink it.”
“Good. Alright.” Bilbo nodded, considering. “What was this working together Gandalf was talking about?”
***
When night fell, some of the dwarves started a fire. Balin and Bofur pulled you aside. Kili and Fili were off scouting the edge of the property to make sure nothing was coming for the group, giving you the perfect opportunity for a lesson.
“What do you know of dwarvish courting, Book Keeper?” Bofur asked. “Anything?”
“Admittedly, not a lot. I know there’s braiding involved, but that’s about it.”
“That’s a good start, lass.” Balin smiled. “So, when a courtship begins, generally, the dwarrowdam, or, the woman, in this case, will ask the dwarf she fancies if she can braid his hair.”
“They make a courting bead to present to them, to braid into the hair. Something meaningful.” Bofur added.
“Okay.” You nodded, taking in the information.
“If he feels the same way, usually he’ll already have made a courting bead and will present it to her in return. If he doesn’t have it ready quite yet, he’ll present it to her as soon as it is.” Balin explained. “But the woman is always the one to initiate, unless, of course, it’s two men, in which case the oldest of the two will begin the courting.”
“And then they’ll go off somewhere private and braid the beads into each other’s hair. It’s quite romantic.” Bofur smiled.
You stared at the ring around your finger, the claddagh ring you’d carried with you the entire journey, the one Kili seemed so fascinated by. You thought it would look rather beautiful braided into Kili’s dark hair. “Would…um…” You slipped it off of your finger and handed it to Bofur. “Would this work? As a courting bead? I’d have to resize it of course, but…”
He smiled knowingly. “This is the special ring you explained to him in the cave?”
“Yeah, it is.”
“I think that would be perfect, dear.” Balin nodded. “We can teach you how to make the bead once we get to Erebor.”
“Okay, perfect. It won’t be long now.” You told them. “This next leg of the journey is going to be rough, as a heads-up.”
“That’s what I feared.” The eldest dwarf nodded.
Bofur handed you back the ring and you put it on again. “We’re in good hands, though.”
You nodded, serious. “I’ll do my best.”
***
The next day, you all stood at the gates of Mirkwood and a sinking feeling settled deep in the pit of your stomach. You did not like this. Not one bit.
“Are you alright?” Kili asked, his hand on your arm. “You look as though you’ve seen a ghost.”
“I know more than I’m supposed to again.” You told him, your voice soft, scared.
He looked up at you, taking a step closer. “Anything you can tell me?”
“Not at the moment, no.” You shook your head. You turned towards him, suddenly more serious and remembering something from the Hobbit movies you’d seen long ago. Up until this point, everything had been by the book as far as you knew. But in the case that something leaked over… “So, if, um…theoretically of course, if there’s a bunch of orcs shooting at us at some point on our way out of Mirkwood, don’t take any chances that would let you get shot in the leg with a poisonous arrow, okay?”
Kili’s eyes widened. “What? I’m—”
“It probably won’t happen. Most likely. But there’s one version of the story where it does and I just…I don’t know what I’d do if you—”
“I won’t.” Kili grabbed your arms with his large hands, stopping your rambling. “I promise you I won’t take any chances that would let that happen.”
You nodded, exhaling a sigh. “Okay. Good.”
“Does anything like that happen to me?” Fili asked, scared suddenly.
“No.” You assured him. “I’d tell you if it would. I’m not letting any of you die.”
You all set out through the gates, doing your best to stick to the paths. Things got very disorienting very quickly, however.
The group began to wander, confused, forgetting things and losing track of time. All hints of what direction you were going were gone, so you followed whichever dwarf happened to be in front of you at any given moment.
After a short time, you began to question everything. It was hard to tell how much time passed. You all wandered, going in circles, the dwarves bickering between themselves about which way was which. You felt utterly dizzy, confused and unable to ground yourself in the moment.
“(Y/N), are you in your right mind right now?” Bilbo asked you, grabbing your attention.
“Not particularly.” You admitted, shaking your head. “Do what you have to do. I’ll see you on the other side. Stick to the plan.”
“Plan, what plan?” Ori asked.
“There’s a plan?”
“What’s a plan?”
They went around and around while Bilbo climbed up into the trees to get a bearing on where you were. Most of them didn’t even realize he had left. And the next thing you knew in your bleary state, there were gigantic spiders descending upon all of you.
***
When you came to, Bilbo had cut you and the others free from where you’d been suspended up in the trees, the webs encasing you sticky and disgusting. You used your dagger to slice your way out of them and get to your feet, taking a head count of everyone that was present. All of the dwarves accounted for.
There were hordes of spiders, giant and covered in fur. You fought your way through a few, counting dwarves every second.
When you spotted Kili, however, he was pinned beneath a giant, shrieking spider. You drew an arrow and shot it quickly, putting to use the archery skills that very dwarf had spent hours teaching you. The spider slumped over top of him and Kili kicked it off of himself, looking to see who’d shot it and unsurprised to find that it was you.
He hurried over, a proud glimmer in his eye. “I told you we’d make an archer of you.”
“And it seems you were right.” You laughed, you eye tracking movement in your peripheral. There were more spiders, yes, but there were also elves, plenty of them, and they were coming in hot.
You looked around for Bilbo, but didn’t find him.
“What’s wrong?” Kili asked.
“Do you trust me?”
“Always.” He answered without hesitation.
“I have to go. We have a plan.” You leaned in and kissed Kili’s cheek, causing him to look up at you, dumbstruck.
A grin slowly spread across his face, processing the first kiss between the two of you. “Be safe.”
“I’ll find you soon.” You promised and took off into the trees, just in time to evade the elves who were apprehending the rest of the dwarves.
From your place up on a branch, you kept an eye on Kili as they hauled him and the rest of the company away, and you caught sight of Bilbo in another. He nodded at you and you returned the signal, waiting for the elves to all leave before meeting him down on the forest floor.
“I’ll go in with you and steal one of their uniforms, change, and then linger outside their cells until you get to us. The guards will be drunk tonight because of the festival. They should be drowsy enough that you can get the keys without too much trouble. On your way up to the rest of us, split the keys in half and I’ll unlock half of the doors to get them out faster.”
“Smart thinking.” Bilbo agreed.
“We’ll have to give them some time to get inside and out of our way before we can head inside. In the book, they’re held here for a few days. I think we can get them out in one.”
“Ambitious,” he said, thinking over the plans. “Ah, right. Well, if you don’t mind me asking since we have some time, are you and Kili…?”
“Seems to be the question on everyone’s minds.” You laughed. “Um. No, not yet. Not officially anyway. Balin and Bofur gave me a lesson on dwarvish courting rituals, though, so I kind of know what I’m doing now.”
He grinned. “Moving on up in the world, eh?”
“Something like that.” You shrugged, sitting for a moment and resting your cheek against your knee. “I don’t think I’ve ever loved someone this much before, Bilbo. I genuinely don’t know what I’d do if something happened to him.”
“That’s how you know it’s real, I think. That fear might protect you.” Bilbo said, wise from the journey. “Might protect him, too.”
“I can only hope so.”
***
Breaking into the elves’ fortress in Mirkwood was easier with a hobbit as a companion, you decided. Bilbo was good at going unnoticed, but especially so when he could sneak into the armory invisibly and retrieve Silvan elf armor for you. You slipped into it quickly, entrusting your bag of things to Bilbo for the moment until you’d be reunited with him.
Then, you went up to the cells where they were holding the dwarves, careful to calm your pace. For the first time in your journey, your pointed ears came in handy. You were able to sneak past any elf you passed without question. They thought you were one of them.
“You there, will you not join the festivities?” An elf asked you. Upon closer inspection, this was Legolas, his blond hair and Orlando Bloom complexion unmistakable. Oh shit.
You did a double-take. “Oh, Prince Legolas. I was going to see the prisoners before joining.” You smirked. “Not every day we have thirteen dwarves in our custody. I’m rather curious.”
“An unusual day indeed. I’ll admit, they are rather…interesting creatures.” He agreed, laughing. “I’ll save you a dance, then.”
“I’d be honored, my prince.” You curtsied, holding your posture carefully before walking past him without any further questioning. You chuckled. Little did he know the only prince that had your attention was a dwarven one.
You reached the hall where the cells were not long after that, looking into the doors and counting. Ori, Dori, Nori, check. Bifur, Bofur, Bombur, check. Balin and Dwalin and Oin and Gloin, check, and finally, Thorin, Fili, and Kili.
Fili was the first to notice you. He stood there for a long moment, staring at you, his eyebrows furrowed. It couldn’t be you, could it? Not dressed like that, surely. Perhaps his eyes were playing tricks on him, despite the fact that they’d only been there for a few hours.
“(Y/N)?” Fili asked, his voice hushed. “Is that you?”
You turned to face him, keeping the stiff elven posture you’d adopted to fit in. You smirked. “I put on some elf armor and suddenly you don’t recognize me, Fee? I’m offended.”
At the sound of your voice, Kili rushed to the bars of his cell. “Amrâlimê!”
You walked to his cell and rested your hands on his. “I told you I’d find you.”
“Where’s Bilbo?” Thorin asked from the next cell over.
“Grabbing the keys.” You told him. “And then we’re busting out of this place.”
“Were you spotted?” Nori wondered.
“Walked right past every elf I saw. They think I’m one of them.” You shrugged, tucking your hair behind one of your pointed ears. “Even managed to trick their prince. He’s up at the festival saving me a dance as we speak.”
You didn’t miss the tiny jealous grunt that left Kili’s throat at the mention of another prince, but you didn’t address it either.
Dwalin let out a proud, bellowing laugh. “Well done, lassie!”
You shrugged. “These ears of mine finally came in handy for something.”
“I happen to think they suit you.” Kili said, looking up at you. He looked so impossibly small in his cage.
Your heart ached. You couldn’t wait to get him out of there. “Is that so?”
“I happen to think most things suit you, actually.” He amended, a flirty grin on his face.
“Don’t get too comfortable, Miss Elf Guard.” Bilbo teased, tossing you a set of keys. “We have some dwarves to free.”
You quickly found the key to Kili’s door and unlocked it, followed immediately by the rest of the dwarves on your side of the hallway. The two of you led the others all the way down to the cellar, to the barrels Bilbo had located. You had almost forgotten this part of the adventure. And if it wasn’t too deadly and terrifying, it might actually be pretty fun.
“Are you sure about this, lad?” One of the dwarves protested as they started climbing inside the barrels.
“Trust me.” Bilbo said, looking to you for support. “Trust us.”
“This is one of the best parts in the book.” You told them. “It’ll all work out. I promise. It might even be fun.”
“There might be room for two in this one,” Kili told you, scouting the biggest barrel.
“I don’t know if it could support both of our weight.” You reasoned, thinking quickly. “And we have to get going so the Elves don’t stop us.”
You climbed into the big barrel, preparing yourself for the plummet downwards.
Kili nodded and climbed into the barrel beside yours, his hand reaching out and touching yours.
“Hold your breath.” Bilbo warned, pulling the lever and sending the barrels rolling down into the water tunnels beneath the castle. He took your tip about the floor and came down moments later, gripping the rope on Thorin’s barrel.
“Well done, you two.” Thorin praised. “You never cease to amaze me.”
“He would have figured it out without me, just for the record.” You told him. “Maybe just a little slower.”
You all started paddling, getting out of the elven tunnels a few minutes later, under cover of night. The stars were quite beautiful. You couldn’t help but stare at them, trying to recognize constellations in the still-unfamiliar sky.
“No sign of orcs.” Kili pointed out. “Nor poisoned arrows.”
“Good. Let’s hope it stays that way.” You chuckled, paddling beside him. Bilbo was still swimming alongside one of the other barrels. “Bilbo, there’s room in mine.”
“You don’t think I’ll sink you?”
“You’re lighter than I am.” You pointed out.
He couldn’t argue with that logic. Fili and Kili both helped hoist Bilbo into your barrel for the rest of the fairly smooth ride. There were a few dips and small waterfalls every so often, but the current wasn’t too harsh.
“Is it like this in the book?” Gloin asked and you nodded.
“Yeah. In fact, in the book, there are lids on the barrels. But it’s, uh, harder to steer that way.”
“I was going to put lids on them?” Bilbo asked, incredulous. “Thank you for steering me away from that option, Book Keeper.”
“That’s my job.” You chuckled, making the most of the ride until, eventually, it ended and the group pulled their barrels onto the shore.
“How’s our progress?” Thorin checked.
“We’re ahead of schedule. Our ride into Laketown won’t be here until tomorrow morning or afternoon.” You told him. “We were actually supposed to be in that elven prison for a few more days, so…we’ve got some time to get our bearings. And we won’t have to cut it so close hiking up to Erebor.”
The king grinned. “Excellent. Great work.” He turned to the rest of the company. “Set up camp for the night. Eat some food. Tomorrow, we journey to Laketown.”
You helped the others unpack some of the belongings, drying out things that had gotten wet. You scrunched your hair, draining it of excess water, and set out a bedroll for whenever you settled down. It was dark, but you couldn’t exactly tell how late it was.
Some of the others started a fire to dry themselves and cook dinner, which was whatever fish had slipped into their barrels on the way there. You found a private spot and changed out of the elven armor into your sleeping attire before returning to the group.
Kili was sitting near the fire, his bedroll now set out beside yours, and two plates of food in his lap. You sat beside him and he handed the extra plate to you, which you were grateful for. It had been a long few days, or however long had passed while you were trapped in those wretched spider-infested forests, and you were hungry.
“Thank you.”
“Of course.” He nodded. The two of you were quiet for a long time before he finally asked a question you could tell had been eating at him for a bit. “What would have happened if…theoretically, I had been shot with that poisonous orc arrow?”
“Hard to say. In the version of the story where that happened…you were pretty injured from it, got progressively sicker and sicker and then when the company left for Erebor, you had to stay behind.”
“Oh.” He looked at you, his eyes serious. “I would have died, wouldn’t I?”
“No.” You shook your head. Not at that moment, you thought darkly, keeping it to yourself. “Well…it’s difficult to say, because in that version, you caught the eye of a very beautiful elf warrior. She healed you before you died from the poison. And she’s not here, so I…I really don’t know what would have happened.”
“Well…” He processed the information for a moment before a soft, tender look overtook his face. “I did happen to catch the eye of another woman with elf-like ears this time around. I think I prefer this one, actually.”
“I can’t heal you if you get poisoned.” You reasoned, insecurity eating at you, despite the lack of competition. You hadn’t seen Tauriel in Mirkwood, which probably meant she didn’t exist. Probably. She wasn’t in the book, after all, but neither were a lot of the other details you’d lived through that Tolkien had seemed to skim over in his version.
He took your hand in both of his, calling your full attention to him. “Maybe not, but…you did prevent me from being poisoned at all, which, I would argue, is better.” One of his hands wandered up to your cheek and you caught his eyes lingering on your lips for a long moment before he said. “You gave me this earlier, and I’ve been meaning to give it back to you.”
You watched him, curious. “What?”
Kili moved closer and pressed a long, lingering kiss to your cheek, causing your face to flush with warmth. He whispered, his voice deep and gentle, “Thank you for letting me borrow it.”
***
The next day, just as you had predicted, Bard found your group on the banks of the river. He was defensive at first, but eventually granted the group travel into town in exchange for whatever gold you all could scrape together.
For the first part of the voyage, you were all able to wander about the ship. You pulled out your Polaroid, assessing the damages it had incurred thus far. Part of you expected it to be totally busted, its parts flooded in your ride down the river, but it was functional. Maybe Gandalf had enchanted it to be indestructible.
“Is it broken?” Bofur asked, curious.
“I don’t think so, actually. I definitely thought it would be after everything it’s been through.” You chuckled, holding it in position and snapping a picture of him. A few moments later, it spit the picture out the front. You handed it to him and he watched as it developed.
“Fascinating little thing.” Bofur noted, tilting his head.
“Yeah, it’s pretty cool.” You agreed, tucking it back into your bag.
“Couldn’t happen but notice you and the young prince last night.” Bofur smirked, mischief in his smile. “We’re still on for your smithing lesson, then?”
“As soon as possible, yes.” You nodded. A nervous laugh wrenched its way out of your lips. “I don’t know why I’m so scared.”
“It’s a big moment. I don’t blame you for being a little nervous. But it’s very obvious to me and,” he laughed, “well, everyone else that the lad cares for you. And I, for one, happen to think you’d make a lovely addition to the family.”
“Thank you, Bofur.” You wrapped your arms around your bag, cradling it to you. “I think I needed to hear that.”
“Book Keeper, if I might have a word.” Thorin said, motioning you to the front of the ship.
You nodded and stood from your spot, walking up to meet him. You noticed Kili was sitting on a crate at the back of the boat, his legs dangling from it. He appeared to be working on something very small, but you couldn’t tell what it was from where you were.
“What’s on your mind, your highness?” You asked, standing beside him, staring out into the fog.
“I’ve heard murmurs of something within the company, I was hoping you would confirm or deny them.” Thorin started, looking amused. “I don’t think it should be news to you that my nephew cares for you, yes?”
“I care for him as well, Thorin.” You assured him.
“Mmm.” Thorin nodded. “I hoped as much. I just ask that…if you do not wish to court him, don’t string him along. The boy has had his heart broken too many times. This time, though, I feel he would never recover from it.”
“When we get to Erebor, Balin and Bofur are going to help me make a courting bead.” You told him. “I should have told you long before now, but I never found the time or opportunity.”
Thorin grinned. His hand came to rest on your shoulder, the other resting on his belt. “That is most excellent news. Do you know how you’ll be making it, yet?”
“I don’t know the specifics. I’ve never smithed anything in my life.” You shook your head. “In my realm, smithing isn’t as prominent as it is here. But I was planning to use this.” You held up your hand, showing him the ring. “Balin and Bofur said it should be something sentimental. This ring is usually used to show relationship status in my realm.”
“I heard you discussing it with him the night of the goblins.” Thorin smiled softly. “I didn’t get very much sleep that night either. I think that would work quite well as a courting bead.” He met your eyes, his gaze sincere. This was perhaps the first time you’d connected with the king on a personal level on the entire journey, but you were glad you were finally getting the opportunity. “After everything you’ve done for us, I would be honored to have you as my niece.”
Your breath got caught in your throat, tears pricking your eyes. “You have no idea how much it means to hear you say that.”
“We’re approaching the gates!” Bard warned. “Get back in the barrels.”
With some protest, the dwarves got back into the barrels they’d come there in. You started to climb into the barrel beside Thorin’s, but Bard stopped you.
“You won’t need to. Just cover those ears of yours.” He told you.
You nodded, using your hair to cover their extended points, looking to Bifur to ask if they were covered. He gave you a thumbs-up before ducking back into his barrel. You inhaled nervously and settled yourself as casually as you could on a crate in the corner of the boat.
It was then that several pounds of fish were dumped on top of the dwarves. You cringed for their sake. You had a feeling this was going to be a very smelly evening indeed. You heard a few quiet groans from them, but otherwise, they remained silent, hoping not to blow their cover.
Next, Bard took the ship to the entrance of town, where he was stopped by the gate keeper. He initially was approved to enter until the disgusting little weasel Alfrid decided to pay a visit.
“Oi! Who’s the girl?” He asked, his unibrow scrunching as he looked you up and down. God, he was even more disgusting in person somehow. You were hoping he wouldn’t be real, but it seemed Tolkien had skimmed over him in the book as well. You couldn’t say you blamed him.
“She’s paid her passage. Therefore, she’s entering town.”
“Now, now, now, no one gets into my town without a more…thorough investigation, let’s say.” Alfrid rubbed his sleazy little hands together and you did your best not to gag at the mere thought of him touching you.
“You will not put your hands on her.” Bard said, defending you. “If you so much as breathe on her, I’ll see to it that the whole town knows.”
Alfrid seemed to contemplate this before relenting. “Fine, but if she steps even a toe out of line, she’ll be sleeping in the dungeons.”
“And she won’t.” Bard assured him, seeming annoyed. Not long after, the boat continued, through the narrow waterways to an alley between some buildings. Bard started dumping barrels full of fish-covered dwarves. He instructed them on how to swim under his house and up through the toilet.
“Count yer blessings, lass.” Dwalin muttered before jumping in.
“Oh believe me, I am.” You grimaced at the strong fishy smell wafting from your companions. Once they were all out of the boat, you went with Bard through the front door of his house, met immediately by his daughters and his son.
“Da, who is this?”
“A traveler.” Bard replied. “Bain, get them in.”
Bard’s son walked down the stairs and signaled the Dwarves to start coming into the house.
“If you speak a word of this to anyone, I’ll rip your arms off,” Dwalin threatened, coming out of the murky waters first.
“Why are there dwarves coming out of the toilet?” Bard’s oldest daughter wondered.
“Will they bring us luck?” The youngest asked.
“I can assure you, they are very lucky.” You told her. “They’ve brought me nothing but luck, in fact.”
Kili walked up to you, sopping wet, his clothes and hair thoroughly soaked. You couldn’t help but chuckle a little at his pitiful state, handing him a towel. He buried his face in it before using it to scrunch his wet hair.
“Not feeling so lucky at the moment, however.” Kili muttered. He handed the towel back to you and started ringing out his shirt, water splattering on the floor. “He didn’t touch you, did he?”
“Who?”
“That…sleazy gate keeper man.” Kili looked pissed.
“Alfrid.” Bard’s eldest daughter said, rolling her eyes. “He disgusts me.”
“Yeah, same.” You agreed with her and looked down to Kili, who wouldn’t make eye contact with you, instead, his eyes were fixed on his dark blue shirt, ringing excess water out of it. “He didn’t touch me. He didn’t even come near me.”
“Good.” He nodded, his eyes still serious.
“I’m pretty sure if he’d have breathed on me I would have puked on the spot.” You joked, which did get him to smile again.
“Is he that hideous?” The dwarven prince finally dared to look up at you, a mischievous glimmer in his eye.
“Literally the ugliest person I’ve ever seen in my entire life.”
“Truly gruesome.” Bard’s daughter agreed, cringing. She looked at you and offered her hand. “I’m Sigrid, by the way.”
“(Y/N),” you introduced. “This is Kili.”
The dwarf in question did a little bow. “At your service.”
Bard came into the room, carrying a variety of tools and makeshift weapons. He set them on the table all at once.
“Oh no, these will not do at all.” The dwarves started going through them harshly.
“We need iron-forged weapons! Not fishing supplies.” Gloin shook his head.
“All of the weapons in town are held under lock and key in the armory.” Bard told them. “These are the best I can do.”
“Book Keeper?” Balin looked to you for advice.
“Um, let me check.” You reached into your bag and pulled out the thin paperback book you’d been referencing the entire time. You used the table of contents to flip to the chapter about Laketown. “Okay, so um, under cover of night, you sneak into the armory to take the weapons, you get caught, but when you tell the Master and the rest of the town about the quest, they celebrate and give you weapons and a feast and a place to stay.”
“What is that book?” Bard asked. “Is she a Seer?”
“Not quite. Just a…reader, I suppose.” You shrugged. “I’m from a place where all of this is a story.”
“A feast sounds quite nice…” Fili raised an eyebrow. Bombur nodded in fierce agreement.
“Then we do what the Book Keeper says.” Thorin nodded at you, grateful for your guidance. “We leave at nightfall. Ready yourselves in the meantime.”
***
The dwarves set out to retrieve the weapons sometime after dark. You stayed at Bard’s house with his kids, waiting nervously to hear the commotion in the middle of town begin. Bard, obviously, had quite a few questions for you.
“You’ve been traveling with them? For how long?”
“Quite a while. Almost half a year now.” You said, just now realizing how long it had been. “It doesn’t feel like it’s been that long, though. They’re a lot. They’re loud and kind of messy sometimes, but…they’re fiercely loyal. They’ve saved my life more times than I can count. I really do consider them family.”
“You knew I’d find you on the bank of that river, then?” He asked, his dark eyebrows furrowing.
“I was counting on it.”
“Interesting.” He nodded.
“How long have you known the younger one? Kili, I think his name is.” Sigrid asked.
“I’ve known of him for years. I’ve known of all of you for years, actually. But I met him at the same time as the rest of them, why?”
“You two seem to have known each other for ages.” She sighed. “The way he looks at you…It’s like there are a million stars in his eyes.”
“Oh I know.” You laughed softly. “Once we get to Erebor, I’m finally going to do something about it.”
A call came from the center of town, echoing into the distance. “Explain yourselves, dwarves!”
“Oop, there it is.”
“Just as she said…” Bain mumbled, thoroughly impressed.
You got up and rushed to the door, following the crowds of people into town, where the dwarves were being held by guards. You were careful to cover your pointed ears just in case their attention wandered to you, but you were sure the rest of the townsfolk were pretty well distracted.
“I am Thorin! Son of Thrain, son of Thror, King under the mountain! I have come to reclaim our home from the dragon Smaug!” Thorin declared, fire in his eyes. He really did sound like a king when he spoke like that. You got chills up your spine just listening to him.
The crowd began to murmur about a prophecy, the word whispered amongst them. The Master perked up at this. He, like his lackey Alfrid, was absolutely grotesque, any sliver of dignity eaten away by his immense greed.
“If we succeed in our quest, we will share our bounty with Laketown.” Thorin promised. You knew when you all actually arrived in Erebor, that might change, but you hoped you’d be able to convince him to keep his word. “You have my word. All we ask is weapons and shelter until we make our leave.”
The Master thought about it for a long moment before he made his decision. “Welcome to Laketown, dwarves! Let us eat, drink, and be merry to celebrate their quest to reclaim Erebor!”
The townsfolk all cheered and the guards finally let go of the dwarves. You walked to Kili, who looked up at you with stars in his eyes, just the way Sigrid had described. It sent warmth blossoming through your stomach.
“You always seem to be right, Amrâlimê.” He murmured, his arms settling around your waist and pulling you close to him.
“I wonder why that is.” You chuckled, arms wrapping around him as well. You tilted his head up towards you with a gentle hand. “Everything go okay? Well, until…you know.”
“More than okay.” Kili smiled that boyish grin of his. It was at times like these that it was hard for you to believe he was hiding seventy-seven years behind that youthful face. “I cannot wait to get to Erebor.”
“It’s close now, isn’t it?”
“Very much so.” He nodded, pressing up on his toes to kiss your cheek before tugging you into the pub, where the rest of the group was beginning the celebrations.
Musicians were in the corner, playing lively lake shanties, the bartenders were slinging drinks faster than you could comprehend, and there was more food than you’d seen since the group left Rivendell so long ago. You settled into a seat in the corner, at a table with Fili, Bofur, and Kili, the last of whom left to grab drinks. While Kili was away, Fili leaned forward to speak to you over the noise.
“(Y/N), would you visit the market with me tomorrow?” He asked, feigning innocence. You suspected there was something going on, but you didn’t call him out on it.
“Yeah, of course, Fili. Shopping for anything in particular, or…?”
“Supplies and whatnot. For Uncle.” He added, although you were fairly certain it had nothing to do with Thorin.
“Okay, sure, I’ll help.”
He grinned. “Excellent.”
“You like mead, right, (Y/N)?” Kili asked, sliding a mug to you. “You seemed to like the kind the elves had in Rivendell.”
“I do like mead. Thank you.” You grinned and took the mug of the drink, taking a few tentative sips. It was good, but it was very strong.
“I asked if they had blueberry, but they didn’t, only raspberry and some strawberry.”
“It’s good.” You assured him. “You remembered what kind of mead I had all the way back then?”
“I remember everything about that night.” He winked.
The company drank and ate and drank some more. You hadn’t been drunk in a good, long while, so you finally let loose a bit, giving into the warmth and numbness of the alcohol flowing through your veins. You got a bit giggly, watching the dwarves dance and joke around.
“It’s all about unwinding and having a good time, isn’t it?” Ori rambled, rocking in time to the music. “That’s what these adventures are for.”
“Absolutely.” You nodded. “We have a phrase where I come from…‘maybe the real adventure was the friends we met along the way.’ And you guys are like my best friends. I love all of youuu.”
Kili turned to look at you very dramatically, bewildered at the way you were talking. “You’re drunk!” He laughed, pointing.
“So are you!”
He shook his head, though he was obviously lying. “Nonsense. I can hold my beer.”
“Bullshit, laddie!” Dwalin bellowed. “You’re the lightest weight of all of us here, the lass included!”
“Am not!” Kili huffed, crossing his arms.
“I’m a lightweight. Very much so.” You argued, shaking your head. “I’m only (height). It goes straight to my head.”
“He’s only 4’10”!” Gloin’s laugh echoed off the walls, and the whole company laughed with him.
“Oh right.” You shook your head. “I always forget.”
The band picked up a lively tune and Kili abandoned his drink and the laughing company. He took your hand and tugged you onto the dancefloor that had formed. The two of you did your best to follow along with the dance the people of Laketown were doing, twirling each other around, skipping along to the music around and around and around.
You and Kili laughed and laughed, dancing until the music stopped and you lost your footing, inadvertently pulling him down with you. You landed in a heap on the floor, his strong arms on either side of you and his face right in front of you, his warmth radiating onto you, even warmer than it usually was, due to the alcohol in his system.
Finally, things seemed to slow down as you sobered up due to his proximity and that look in his brown eyes. You imagined him leaning in and kissing you, what his lips would feel like against yours, rough and filled with passion and fire. You imagined the way his scruff would feel against your skin and the way his large, strong hands would wander your body. You wanted it. You wanted him.
“Are you alright?” He chuckled, looking you over for damages, but only finding a tipsy Book Keeper with flushed cheeks.
“I’m great.” You insisted, leaning forward and resting your forehead against his. “I’m always great when you’re around, Kili.”
You didn’t miss the way he lit up when you said it. Instead of replying, though, he pressed a messy kiss to your cheek and pulled you to your feet again. You walked back to the others, some of whom were grumbling and exchanging money with one another. If you didn’t know any better, you would have sworn they were taking bets over when and how you and Kili would finally kiss. Unsurprisingly, Balin and Thorin and Bofur were on the receiving end of most of the coin.
You walked, albeit a little wobbly, back to your chair. Once you settled, Balin handed you a mug of what you came to realize was water. It always seemed he was taking care of you, and you very much appreciated it.
“Lassie, could you settle a bet between us?” Dwalin asked.
“I’m a lil’ drunk, but I probably could.” You tilted your head, crossing your legs on the chair you’d settled on. “What’s going on?”
The company laughed a little at your drunkenness.
“Great. Do you know what a One is?”
“I can count.” You insisted, furrowing your eyebrows.
The dwarves all laughed, and then Bofur added, “With a capital O, lass.”
“Ohhhhhhh. That makes more sense.” You giggled a bit and took a sip of water, praying for some sobriety for this conversation. “I do. Kind of. They’re like soulmates, right? Like…and correct me if I’m wrong…the belief that you were created as half of a whole and that your One is the other half?”
“I told you. Pay up.” Fili held up his hand. He tilted his head to you. “Thank you very much.”
“Did he tell you that?” Dwalin asked, shoving a few coins into the golden prince’s hand.
“No.” You shook your head. “I read about it where I’m from.”
“There are works about Ones where you’re from?” Ori asked, genuinely curious.
“Oh yeah.” You nodded. “They’re not in the Book so I didn’t know if they were a real thing or not, but there’s some works about them, yeah.”
You took a long sip of water from your mug and missed the look Fili gave his brother.
Once the party was over and the sun was just beginning to peek over the horizon once more, you all headed to the lodging the town was providing for all of you, a large house with plenty of beds, and claimed one for yourself, falling asleep almost instantly. And yet, drifting somewhere between asleep and awake, you swore you felt a pair of soft lips against your forehead.
***
Before coming to Middle Earth, you’d never had a hangover before. Sure, you were twenty-three, but while you were in college, you’d been focused on finishing your degree. You’d been drunk, sure, but never badly enough that you were hungover the next day. And yet, now, you had a pounding headache that could only be explained by the mere amount of alcohol you’d consumed the night before.
Most of the dwarves were still asleep by the time you came around, their snores all too familiar by this point in your journey with them. You spotted Kili in a bed across the room next to an empty bed you assumed belonged to Fili. He was still passed out, snoring. You smiled to yourself. There he was, your Prince Charming.
You reached for the book in your bag, which was hanging on the end of the bed you’d found yourself in.
The sun was up now, and streaming through the windows, so you opened the book and read the next couple of sections. What came next was the hike up to Erebor, then a confrontation with Smaug, and then, said dragon would be killed by Bard. You wished there was something you could do to stop the destruction. Smaug would destroy Laketown and kill many of the people who lived there. There would be survivors, sure, but…there must be some way to warn them, surely. But there was also the chance that if you told them to evacuate town, Bard might not be there to stop the dragon. You were pretty sure he was the only one who could.
You sighed. Sometimes your knowledge of things to come was a blessing. It had helped you protect the company, keep them ahead of schedule on their journey. Other times, like this, it made you feel guilty, even though there was no real way you could save the men of the village. Some things had to happen; Smaug’s death was one of them. And besides, you’d seen the Master, you knew he was skeptical of the dwarves as is. If he knew it was kind of their fault the dragon would be headed towards Laketown, you had no clue what would happen to them. Then none of you would make it to Erebor. In fact, he’d probably burn you at the stake for being a witch while he was at it.
“You ready to go?” Came Fili’s gruff whisper. He was all dressed and ready for a day on the town. Right. You’d agreed to go to the market with him.
“What time is it?” You asked, eyes bleary.
“Sometime after noon. The market is open. Thought I’d let you get some sleep, though.” He grinned and waggled his eyebrows at you. “You had quite the night last night, Book Keeper.”
You motioned to the rest of the dwarves that were still out cold. “I think we all did.”
You stretched and got out of bed, rummaging through your clothes for something suitable to wear and changed quickly before meeting Fili outside the house, your bag slung over your shoulder.
“Is there anything you need from the market today, Book Keeper?” Fili asked. “I scoped out the stalls earlier. The merchants have agreed to furnish us with anything we need before we leave.”
“Did you see anyone selling dresses?” You asked. “Not anything super fancy, just…clean and nice.”
“I saw some, yes. Any particular occasion?”
You paused, looking at him and the mischievous look in his eye. “Why, what do you know?”
“Oh nothing, nothing…” He shook his head, walking along. “I think I did see one. This way.”
Fili led you down through the market stalls to one run by a kindly old woman. She had several simple dresses. Vibrant greens and oranges. They were perfect now that the leaves were changing color. The orange would go well with your cloak, but the green would match the courting bead once it was made. Choices, choices…
“Hello, lass.” The old woman greeted you. “How can I help you today?”
“I’m looking for a dress.” You told her. “I love this green color.”
“It matches your ring, dear.” She smiled, noticing the gem around your finger.
“That’s what I thought, too.” You told her.
“Is it for any occasion in particular?”
Fili looked away, pretending to be distracted by something in the next stall.
“It is, actually. It doesn’t need to be anything very fancy, but…I’m planning on wearing it to tell the man I love that I want to court him.” You told her.
She gasped, her eyes twinkling. She took your hand in both of hers. “I have just the thing.”
She led you by the hand into her house and let you try on the perfect dress. Its fabric was soft, a deep emerald green. Along its hem, several wildflowers were embroidered with sage green and lavender thread. It was beautiful, though not too flashy, and it went perfectly with your ring.
It was absolutely perfect.
Though she insisted you didn’t have to pay her, wanting to give it to you for the occasion, you gave her most of the coins Gandalf allotted you at the beginning of the journey. You’d been saving them for something special, and this felt right.
Once you changed out of it, you met Fili back in front of the stall. He looked at you, expectant.
“Well?”
“I found one. It’s very nice.” You smiled, patting your bag. “Now, what did you need to buy?”
“Hmm?”
“…for your uncle?” You reminded him.
“Ah, right! For Uncle! Yes, um, just some provisions is all. More food, some supplies; rope and wood and things…”
“Mmhmm.” You hummed, unconvinced.
Fili led you through the market, purchasing a few things here and there. But you could tell he was just biding his time until he finally asked what he’d actually brought you there to talk about. “So um…It seems none of us have ever asked you how humans from your realm…court.”
You laughed in disbelief. “Oh my god.”
“It’s not for me!”
“I know that.” You shook your head.
Fili stared at you, waiting for more of a reply. “How might a dwarf go about that? About courting a human. A human woman. If he so wanted to. I don’t. No offense, of course, you’re lovely, Book Keeper.”
“Fili…” You hesitated for a long moment. You knew he and Kili were close. Beyond close, in fact. You trusted Bofur and Balin to keep your not-so-secret secret, but could you tell Fili without indirectly telling Kili?
Fili’s expression fell. “Do you not love him?”
Your took a breath, forming your words. “Fili, I love your brother more than I have ever loved anyone in my entire life.”
He breathed in relief. “Thank Mahal…”
“It’s just that, um…Balin and Bofur are teaching me to smith a courting bead for him. Once we get to Erebor, I mean. I wish I could do it sooner, but I want to do it properly.” You breathed, fiddling with your claddagh ring nervously. “I want it to be perfect.”
Fili looked at you for a long time, his eyes soft. “You really do love him.”
You nodded. “I do.”
“Well…” He scratched the back of his neck. “He sent me here to get information on how to take matters into his own hands. My brother has never been…patient, let’s just say.”
You laughed. “Oh, I know.” You thought for a moment. “Just tell him…it’s a long, complicated, confusing process, but…flowers are usually a good start.”
“Is it actually complicated where you’re from?”
“Yes. I wish our customs were as straight-forward as yours. With humans, it’s all a guessing game. You go on a few dates together, but there’s always the question of who asks who out, and who pays for the meal and when do you have a first kiss, when do you take the next step, it’s all…experimenting and feeling things out. And sometimes, you think someone is really into you and they’re not and then your heart gets broken because they were acting like they liked you, but they didn’t and they just slowly stop talking to you altogether. Or maybe things moved too fast and it scared them away…so many things that could go wrong. And then you don’t know how many dates you go on before you’re actually considered dating, well, courting, I guess. Same thing, really. Could be three or four, could be a lot more than that…it’s rough.”
Fili was stunned silent for a long moment. “That does sound…awful.”
“It is.”
He looked around awkwardly, unsure of exactly what else to say. “So…what kind of flowers do you want?”
***
That night was the last night the company was staying in Laketown. Your efforts had bought the group some extra time to spend on the hike up to Erebor. You were spending the evening to yourself. The dwarves were out drinking in the pub, so you were in the house alone, preparing your things for more travel.
You sat on the bed you had claimed and went through your pack, organizing your clothes, folding them in piles. You pulled out your stack of polaroid photos and started shuffling through them. There were so many that you and the dwarves had taken over the course of the journey. The guys making silly faces, cooking dinner over a campfire, dancing and singing songs together, visiting all kinds of beautiful places together. You’d always known Middle Earth would be beautiful, but you had no idea the extent of it. And yet, after having been there for so long, it was beginning to feel more like home to you than the realm you’d come from.
You stared at one picture in particular, one of Thorin, Fili, and Kili all together. You couldn’t stop the tears from flowing down your cheeks. It was about time you faced the inevitable. Your own personal quest to save the line of Durin was nearing every moment. You weren’t sure what to do about it. You hadn’t told anyone, obviously. You didn’t even know what they would say. And if you did tell them, there was the chance that it would make them nervous and even more likely to die. Or, worse, one of the others could die as well. That blood would be on your hands.
You found yourself wishing, now more than ever, that Gandalf was there so you could ask him for advice. He was the only one who would know that to do.
Instead, however, the first to wander back from the festivities was none other than Bilbo Baggins, a smile on his face and a wooden mug of something in his hand.
“(Y/N), what are you doing in here all alone?” He spotted the tears running down your face and stopped, his expression softening. “Are you alright?”
“I’m okay,” you nodded, sniffling and wiping away your tears as quickly as you could. “Just, uh, taking a little stroll down memory lane, I guess.” You held up some pictures and he nodded, walking closer.
“You know, if there’s anything you need to talk about, I’ve got open ears.” Bilbo offered, closing the door behind him. “I may not be as wise as Balin, but I like to think I’ve acquired some wisdom of my own on this trip.”
“Thank you.” You chuckled, nodding. “I appreciate it, Bilbo.” You let out a long, shaking sigh. “I really wish I could tell you what’s going on, but I don’t want to put you in harm’s way.”
Bilbo nodded, thinking for a long moment before replying. “Whatever it is you’re facing now…you’ve been carrying it for a while, haven’t you?”
“For longer than I’ve known any of you.” You admitted.
“Well, whatever it is you’re carrying…you don’t have to carry it alone. If you need to tell someone, it can be me. You’ve carried my burdens, let me share yours.”
“Okay, well…” You choked back a sob, pulling the book out of your bag. You flipped through the pages at the very back of it, scanning the tiny words carefully. What you hated the most about it was how easy it was to miss. Like an afterthought. One sentence that broke your heart a million times over.
You pointed and handed the book to Bilbo so he could read it for himself. You couldn’t bear the thought of reading the words out loud. “Am I allowed to read straight from the book?”
You nodded, so he allowed himself to scan over the words, and as soon as he did, he let out a sigh and shook his head.
“Wow, (Y/N), I’m so…” Bilbo exhaled. “You’ve known this the whole time?”
“That’s the reason I’m here. Gandalf told me…he said I’d be able to change it. To try at least.” You shook your head, new, hot tears trailing down your face. “I don’t know. I’m just…so scared.”
“You have every right to be.” Bilbo said. “And, especially now, with everything between the two of you…” He handed you the book back and looked you in the eye. “I am so sorry. Have you…have you spoken to Gandalf about it since then?”
“Not directly. He’s never here for long.”
“Ask for his advice. I’m sure he’ll know what to do.” Bilbo assured you. “And if he doesn’t, well…you and I are rather good at making plans together. We will figure this out.” He took your hands, very serious. “You’re not going to lose him, alright? I promise you.”
You sniffled and nodded, looking at him for a good, long moment before pulling him into your arms. “Thank you.”
“Of course, Book Keeper.”
***
The next morning, bright and early, just before the company was set to leave for Erebor, you knocked on Bard’s door, nervous. In your hand was a note, a warning about the dragon that was set to come for their town. You explained it as well as you could in a way that you hoped he would understand. It was inevitable, but if he was prepared, it might prevent damage to the town, save some lives.
When he opened the door, he had a dismissive look on his face before he saw that it was you.
“Oh. Hello. (Y/N), was it?”
“Yeah. Hi Bard. Um, so, you can take this with a grain of salt if you want, but I thought you should know.” You handed the note to him and he held it, hesitant.
He raised an eyebrow. “A prophecy from the Book Keeper?”
You nodded. “So it would seem. And thank you for helping the dwarves. I know they probably didn’t thank you properly. I’ll do my best to make sure they hold up their end of the bargain.”
He stared at you for a long moment. “Thank you. Best of luck to you.”
It was a weird moment when you stepped down from his stairs, back down to the dock where Kili was waiting for you. It felt significant. Bard had an impact on you when you’d read the story as a child. It felt…right to help him now. And you knew how important he’d be for the outcome of the story and everything that would come after Smaug’s death.
Not long after, the company boarded a boat and set off towards the shores nearest Erebor. It was beautiful. The waters were fairly calm, the sky was alight with color…You watched as Laketown got smaller and smaller behind you, the Lonely Mountain growing closer and closer.
You caught Kili squinting at the distant grass, searching for wildflowers, no doubt. You couldn’t stop your heart from melting at the sight.
“I bought some things at the market in Laketown. When we get camp set up, I’ll have Thorin send Kili and Fili out to scout for a bit.” Balin told you, his voice quiet. “And then we can get started.”
“Awesome.” You nodded, a chill running up your spine. It was finally happening. You stared at the ring around your finger and couldn’t help but smile thinking about its future. “Thank you, Balin.”
The old dwarf smiled, a twinkle in his eye. “Don’t mention it, dear. I’m quite excited myself.”
Six of the dwarves paddled the boat for a few hours. Not long after, they switched. Kili had been paddling during the first shift, so once he was finished, he plopped down in the seat beside yours, his leg resting against yours. He kept staring up at the Lonely Mountain, his eyes absolutely glimmering with excitement to finally have reached your destination.
“Isn’t it beautiful?” He asked, his voice soft and sentimental.
“It really is.” You agreed, nodding. You imagined years from now when the rest of the dwarves journeyed to Erebor from wherever they had gone to since, business bustling, children laughing. You knew it would be so beautiful. You hoped you’d get to stick around to see it. You still weren’t sure how it would work when everything was done.
Kili slipped his hand into yours and squeezed it excitedly, bringing it to his lips. You swore your heart skipped a beat. Any of the dwarves that witnessed this interaction laughed softly to themselves.
The boat landed some time later when the sun was beginning to tickle the tops of the hills nearby. Thorin decided to camp as far from the mountain as possible, as to, hopefully, not wake the dragon overnight, but he would have dwarves posted on guard all night just in case. He was ever-grateful you’d bought them an extra day of time. The following day was Durin’s day, which meant that around tomorrow evening, the dwarves would enter Erebor finally, and, inevitably, Bilbo would wake the dragon.
Yikes.
As soon as you got out of the boat, you spotted a crate not too far from the shore and scrunched your eyebrows at it. While the others started unloading things, you walked over to the big box and noticed a piece of paper sitting on top of it. Upon closer inspection, it was addressed to you.
“What is that, lass?” Dwalin asked, noticing your absence.
“It’s addressed to me.” You read the words in your head.
My Dear Book Keeper,
Do not stress to much over the days to come
It will all work itself out in the end.
Well done so far. Enjoy these with the company.
I’ll see you soon.
-Gandalf
“It’s from Gandalf.” You told them, pushing the lid off of the crate to find a whole bunch of bottles of black cherry cream soda. “He brought us that cream soda I like.”
“I wonder what it tastes like…” Dori wondered.
“We’ll have it with dinner this evening.” Thorin declared. “For now, set up camp and keep an eye on the skies.” He stared up at the mountain for a long time. It would be quite the hike tomorrow, but you knew it would be well worth it.
Sometime after they got the boat unpacked, the camp set up, Thorin sent Kili and Fili out to scout and Balin and Bofur found you not long after, looking excited.
Balin took a tiny kit of jeweling tools out of his bag and unrolled it, showing you all the tools he had at your disposal.
“Alright, lassie, do you have an idea of what kind of design you’d like to do?”
“The bead should be pretty thick, right? Is this circumference okay, or should it be smaller?” You asked.
“Let me see.” Balin held out his hand and you carefully set the ring in his palm. He pulled out the little glass eyepiece he used for reading to examine it more carefully. “Kili’s hair is quite thin, so it might be wise to bring it in a little bit, but in terms of thickness, yes, it should be a thicker band.”
“I got some chains at the market. They’re silver, so they’ll match.” Bofur said, presenting a few broken pieces of jewelry he’d picked up at the market. Well, either he had picked them up or Nori had…borrowed them, one of the two. “Should add onto it quite nicely once it’s melted down.”
“Wait, is she courting Kili?” Ori asked, completely unaware until that very moment that something was going on between you and the youngest prince. “Why am I always the last to know?”
“She will be, but for now, keep quiet, lad.” Dwalin, roughed up Ori’s hair. He met your eyes over the fire and winked at you. “Would hate to ruin the surprise.”
The three of you worked quickly, with Balin and Bofur directing you through every step of the process. The other members of the party occasionally chimed in with advice. Thorin watched the whole exchange with proud eyes. He didn’t say much, but you could tell he approved.
And once it was finally done and cool enough to touch, you couldn’t stop looking at it.
“I think he’ll love it.” Bilbo said, smiling proudly.
“It is quite beautiful, (Y/N).” Thorin complimented. “Very impressive for your first work.”
“I had some really great teachers.” You said, emotion welling in your voice. You looked at all of the dwarves that were around you, Bilbo sitting among them as well. This was your family. These were your boys, and even with Kili and Fili out scouting for the moment, you still very much loved and appreciated each dwarf in attendance. “You guys really mean a lot to me. All of you. All of your advice, your comfort, your lessons…I will carry all of them with me for the rest of my life.”
“Don’t go all soft on us now, lass.” Dwalin tilted his head, compassion in his dark eyes. “We’ve got plenty of time for that.”
“Right.” You laughed softly, nodding.
“When are you going to do it?” Dori asked. He’d always been something of a hopeless romantic, as he’d told you. Loved the idea of young love and the innocence and beauty that came with it.
“I was going to wait until the day after tomorrow to do it. I can’t give too many details now, but…I don’t want to distract him while there’s still a dragon here.”
“That’s a good plan.” Balin put his hand on your arm. “Best of luck to you, dear, but I doubt you’ll need it.”
***
Kili and Fili came back sometime later, and once they did, the rest of the party finally got into the drinks Gandalf had sent. You’d all found some large logs to sit on around the fire. You’d tucked the bead into a pocket for safe keeping and were sitting there, staring into the flames when Kili approached, a bouquet of wildflowers in his hand. They were beautiful, purple stalks with smaller yellow flowers in between.
He seemed nervous, standing for a moment before deciding to sit on the log next to you. You could tell he was rehearsing in his head how to word what he was about to say next. Thinking about it, you had been a bit vague in the advice you’d given to Fili.
“These, um…I picked them for you.” He said, handing the bouquet to you. “I hope you…like them.”
“These are beautiful, Kili.” You assured him, holding the flowers and admiring them for a long moment. “Thank you.”
“Of course.” He nodded, taking a shaky breath. “I’m glad you think so.”
There was a moment of quiet and you could tell he was contemplating asking whether or not this meant you were courting now, but he didn’t say anything else, unsure of exactly what to say. So, you decided to fill the quiet.
Setting the flowers carefully on top of your bag, you took Kili’s hand and leaned on his shoulder. “I’m really glad I came here, Kili.”
“To Erebor?” He asked quietly.
“To Middle Earth.”
He squeezed your hand. “I am too.”
“It’s been a while since you’ve spoken of home, lass,” Dwalin pointed out. Everyone was circled up now, facing the fire and sipping on their bottles of black cherry cream soda.
“Yeah, you don’t talk about it much anymore.” Ori agreed, nodding.
“It’s…well, it’s pretty boring, honestly. I’m no fighter. I’m a writer. I’ve been writing a fantasy novel, ironically enough, but I got stuck and didn’t know where to take the story.” You shrugged, lifting your head from the dwarf prince’s shoulder, but not letting go of his hand. “There’s no elves or goblins or trolls or…magic there. We latch onto these stories of whimsy and adventure so much because we don’t have it where I’m from. It makes us feel alive.”
You were quiet for a moment, fetching the book from your bag.
“I’ve had this book since I was twelve years old. I had to read it for a class when I was in middle school. Usually I hated reading things I was forced to read, but…I knew this book was different. I could feel it, even then. A classic adventure, a quest to kill a dragon, but there was so much more to it. My friends and I were excited to read the assigned chapters every week to see what trouble you guys would get into and then fight your way out of. It was fun. And at the time we were reading it, they were also in the process of making movies about you guys.”
“What’s a movie?” Fili asked, seated on Kili’s other side.
“Oh. Right. Well, um…a movie is like a play. Kind of. Except the whole thing is recorded with a camera. Imagine if my Polaroid could make moving pictures with sound. It’s like that. Moving pictures with sound that tell a story. And so my classmates and I all took a trip to the theater together to see them and it was really special. I couldn’t imagine then that I’d ever be here, that I’d ever see these events with my own eyes, intervene in them. Even before I knew you guys existed, you had a really big impact on my life. You all got me through some tough times.”
“And you’ve gotten us through tough times.” Bilbo smiled. “I’d say we’re probably even now.”
“I don’t know. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to repay all of you for everything you’ve done for me. So I guess I’ll just have to stick around and keep trying.”
“Will you stay?” Kili asked, his voice quiet. “A long time ago you told me if you got the choice, you would. Is that still…how you feel?”
The company was quiet, waiting for your response.
“If I get to choose, I will absolutely stay here. If you’d all have me, of course.” You were looking at Kili now, your other hand joining the first, holding his. “I don’t think I could live in a realm that doesn’t have you in it.”
Kili leaned forward and pressed a kiss to your forehead before pulling you into his arms. You reciprocated the hug immediately, surrendering to his warmth. You felt the tears trail down your cheeks. Unlike the night before, you weren’t sobbing, you weren’t sniffling. You were barely making any noise at all, but that didn’t seem to stop the tears from flowing.
“(Y/N), you will always have a place in our halls.” Thorin said, watching his nephew embrace you. “You and the Burglar both. You’re our kin now.”
“Once we get the library back in working order, we’ll need a Book Keeper.” Nori pointed out, causing the others to laugh.
You nodded and pulled away from Kili. He noticed your tears immediately and reached out to wipe them away.
“Oh, Amrâlimê, there’s no need for tears.”
“Someday you’re going to have to tell me what that word means,” you whispered, a soft laugh escaping you.
He smiled. “Soon.”
“Promise?” You held out your pinkie finger.
He stared at it for a long time. “What am I meant to do with this, Book Keeper?”
You reached for his hand and shaped his fingers, tucking them all down aside from his pinkie. “This is a very important human custom where I’m from. Sacred almost. Everyone pay attention.” You told the others, linking your pinkie with Kili’s. “We call this a Pinkie Promise. It’s an unbreakable oath.”
“Why are you just teaching us this now?” Fili laughed.
“Unbreakable, you say?” Kili laughed, his pinkie curling tighter around yours.
“Unbreakable. Now you have to tell me someday.”
He smiled. “Deal.”
***
You didn’t really get much sleep that night. Too much on your mind. The next morning, the dwarves packed up their supplies just as the sun was peeking over the horizon again. It was going to be quite the hike. Honestly, you were excited for it. It felt right, finally being there after everything you’d all been through to reach Erebor.
While getting ready for the day, you put some of the flowers Kili had given you in your hair, tucking them into the single braid that sat on your shoulder.
Kili gasped and you looked down at him, his eyes fixed on your bare finger, just now noticing that your ring was gone. “Amrâlimê, where’s your ring?”
“Oh.” Your eyes widened and you looked at your hand and then at him. “I guess it must have slipped off at some point.”
Kili started scanning the ground for something small and shiny. “Fili, help me look.”
“For what?”
“For (Y/N)’s ring!” Kili exclaimed, exasperated.
You bit your lip, unsure of what to do. You looked to Balin for advice, who shrugged, chuckling.
“We can look for a moment, but we must get going.” Thorin insisted. “We have no time to waste.”
“Uncle—”
“It’s okay, Kili,” you met his eyes.
“But your ring…”
You reached out and tilted his face up towards yours. “If it’s meant for me to have, it’ll find me again.
His eyes softened and he let out a breath. “You are wise beyond your years, you know.”
You shrugged, smirking. “Seems you guys have rubbed off on me.”
After the slight delay, the group got moving again, walking closer and closer to the base of the Lonely Mountain. There were footpaths up to the entrance, sure, but they were steep, and since the mountain had been uninhabited for so long, they had eroded in the weather, making it difficult to walk.
Kili went on ahead of you, offering his hand and tugging you up when the steps were too steep. Sometimes, he’d let his hand linger in yours, fiddling with your fingers. You would never forget the way he looked at you, like you were made of starlight. No person you had ever been romantically involved with had ever looked at you like that before. God, you wanted to kiss him so bad.
Finally, after hours of hiking, the group reached the landing where the secret door was hidden. You pulled out the book while one of the other dwarves consulted the map. The sun would be setting soon, so all there was to do was wait.
“Are we sure this is the spot?” Ori asked.
“Yes.” Thorin nodded. “Book Keeper?”
“We’re all good here. Just keep an eye out for the hole. Watch for it while the sun is setting just in case, but it should show up by the light of the moon.” You told them. “But yeah, make sure you double-check during the sunset, just to be safe.”
“Good, good.” The king nodded, resting for a moment. “The light of the moon?”
“Yeah. Would have been a real heart-breaking moment for a second until Bilbo spotted it when the sun went down and the moon came out. The rest of you all gave up, but he didn’t.” You told them, tucking the book away again. For a bit, you took a seat against the stone wall and drank some water, tired from the long hike.
“Are you alright? Is there anything you need?” Kili asked, kneeling in front of you.
“I’m just a little tired. How are you doing?”
“I’m doing well.” He settled in, sitting with you. “Those flowers look very beautiful in your hair like that.”
“You picked some lovely ones, what can I say?”
“Are they…adequate?” He wondered, his eyes sincere and unsure.
“They are perfect.” You assured him, taking both of his hands in yours. You so wished you could just do it here and now, just tell him everything and ask to braid that beautiful hair of his. But it was so close to the door opening. There were bigger things to deal with, more important matters at hand. “Kili…”
“Yes, Amrâlimê, what is it?” He searched your eyes.
“Can I sleep on your leg? I didn’t get very much sleep last night and things are about to get…difficult when that door is opened…”
“Oh. Yes, of course, come here.” He adjusted into a position that would be comfortable for you.
You laid down, using his thigh as a pillow, pulling your cloak around yourself as a blanket.
“Get some rest, Book Keeper.” Balin told you. “I have a feeling we’ll need you once we’re inside.”
You nodded and let yourself close your eyes. And when you did, you felt Kili’s careful fingers playing with your hair, gently lulling you to some well-needed sleep.
***
When you awoke, the sun was setting and the dwarves were watching carefully for the keyhole to open. Kili had not moved at all. His hand was still playing with your hair. You hummed and stretched, turning to look up at him. He smiled once he saw your face.
“You sleep well?”
“Mmhmm.” You nodded, sitting up. “Thank you.”
“Just in time.” Bilbo said.
The sun continued to dip beneath the hills, and soon, the moon emerged. Sure enough, there was the keyhole. You smiled. You were right. Of course you were, but it still felt good. However, you knew what else this night would bring.
“There it is…” Thorin murmured, holding up the key as the thrush knocked against the stone.
“We’ve done it. We finally made it.” Balin was clearly getting emotional, his voice betraying him.
Dwalin put a hand on his brother’s shoulder, nodding. The dwarves all stood at attention, watching anxiously as Thorin slipped the key into the hole and turned it. The door gave way, drifting open into the Lonely Mountain.
Kili’s breath stuttered and when you looked at him, his eyes were watering. You took his hand, giving it a supportive squeeze. You knew how long he’d been waiting for this moment. He’d grown up hearing tales of Erebor, their stolen homeland, and had longed to return.
Balin and Thorin lead the other dwarves inside tentatively, touching the stone walls and looking at the carvings upon them. Balin explained one of the carvings, one depicting the Throne of the Kings with the Arkenstone sitting in it, its rays of light shining out, representing the seven dwarven kingdoms.
“I cannot believe it.” Fili whispered, eyes watering as well.
The dwarves were careful to not make too much noise, but they all spent a lot of time embracing each other, celebrating silently before going back outside to wait for the Burglar to scope out the scene. Bilbo did, however, pull you aside to ask for some advice before heading down.
“Balin has requested I retrieve the Arkenstone if I find it…What advice do you have on the matter?”
“You’ll find it down there.” You knelt down to whisper in his ear, as to not be overheard. “Hold onto it. Keep it somewhere safe. You’ll need it for…the days to come. But don’t tell the others.”
“Okay.” He nodded. “Thank you.”
“When, um…when we hear the dragon start moving, we’ll come down to help. It’ll all work out.” You were confident on the matter, and that helped instill a bit of confidence in him as well. “Any other questions?”
“No, I don’t think so.” He shrugged. “Here goes nothing.”
“Master Burglar,” Kili approached suddenly, a tentative look on his face. “I have a request as well…”
“I’ll see you outside.” You told Kili before leaving the both of them there.
Fili was waiting outside with the others on the balcony where you were all waiting together. You hadn’t told them exactly what was coming, but they knew they’d need to be on alert.
“Did he tell you what he’s requesting from Bilbo?” You asked Fili.
“I’m sworn to secrecy, Book Keeper.” Fili chuckled. “He made me do a Pinkie Promise and everything.”
You laughed at that. “Well, I could never ask you to break a Pinkie Promise.”
A short while later, Kili came out to stand with the others. You looked at him, curious, but he didn’t tell you what he’d asked for, only brushed the hair out of the front of your face, warmth in his eyes.
“What now, Book Keeper?” asked Dwalin, his hands resting on his belt.
“Now we wait.” You told them. “Shouldn’t be long. Maybe an hour or so. And then we’ll need to go in there and save him.”
“Does he—”
“He knows.” You assured Dori, who looked concerned for your hobbit’s wellbeing. “I told him. We’ll go down there and drive the dragon out and then…he won’t be our problem anymore.”
“And just how do we do that?” Thorin asked.
You reached into your bag and opened the book, flipping to pretty close to the end of it. “In the book, he just kind of gets pissed off and leaves. I doubt it will be that simple, though.”
“Is it ever?” Ori whined, leaning back against the stone wall.
You spent the next hour listening for any tiny sound that would signify Smaug had awoken and was chasing Bilbo. Nothing yet. You decided that waiting was the worst part, especially when you had a faint idea of what would happen next.
“Something bad is going to happen, isn’t it?” Kili asked, his voice a mere whisper. “That’s what you’ve been so stressed about lately.”
“Everything with Smaug is…easy compared to what comes after.” You confessed. Until that moment, you thought you’d been hiding it well, but Kili saw right through the façade. “That’s what I’m worried about.”
“Mmm…” Kili nodded, taking your hand in his, admiring your fingers before bringing it to his lips. “I will not let anything happen to you. None of us will.”
You nodded, but you didn’t have the heart to tell him it was him you were worried about.
Soon enough, there was a loud rumbling from within the mountain. You all got to your feet and rushed inside, down the spiraling staircases to the massive treasure hoard of Thror. It was…even more massive than you could have possibly imagined. And at the center of it all, was Bilbo, scrambling to get away from the massive beast.
You gulped. There he was. Smaug the Terrible. Big, monstrous, and coming straight at all of you. Fire welled in the dragon’s throat and you all ducked behind a marble staircase.
“You dare challenge me, dwarves?! Over the inconsequential life of one little hobbit?!”
“You think yourself so terrible, Smaug?! You underestimate our strength!” Thorin bellowed. The group split up, distracting the dragon, going separate ways all with one goal: the forges.
Unsure of where you were going, you, Kili, and Fili followed quickly after Thorin, down, down, down the massive fortress into its depths. Erebor was impossibly large, and, seeing it for the first time, you doubted you’d ever learn your way around it.
Smaug’s fiery breath nearly scathed you a few times. Its heat was close and scorching, giving you an even better motivator to keep moving. Eventually, the group all made it down to the forges. You counted the heads as quickly as you could, and when you did, you sighed in relief. This didn’t last long, however, as Smaug quickly rose from the stairwell, peeking through the massive gate that barred him from entering the forge.
The dwarves took cover behind massive metal beams, as did you, however, Smaug didn’t breathe fire, as you’d expected him to. Instead, you heard him land on the other side of the gate, an intrigued growl forming in his throat. You heard a loud clang and then felt his sharp claws cut through your pants as he scratched you, reaching carefully between the large metal bars.
You let out a yelp and collapsed to the floor, using your arms to scurry back, out of his range. It seemed you were bleeding, but it didn’t look like it was too deep.
“You.” He hissed, his eye staring at you, helpless on the ground. “You do not belong here.”
“M-Me?” You asked, staring up at him. The dwarves moved uncertainly, some of their eyes on you, some of their eyes on the beast.
“Yes, you. Mortal girl with the ears of an elfling.” His eyes narrowed and then he snarled, “Book Keeper. You reek of the Mortal Realm.”
Your eyes widened and your heart began pounding even harder in your chest. “I—”
“It’s endearing, really. That you think your existence here matters.” He shook his head. “That you could save them from me.”
Your eyebrows furrowed. That was not the way the story went. It never had been. Although maybe Smaug’s dragon-sized ego had caused him to overlook that part.
“Leave her!” Kili shouted, rushing in front of you and leaving the safety of his post.
“Kili, don’t—!” But that didn’t stop him from pulling you off of the floor, supporting your weight with an arm around your waist, a weapon in his other hand, pointed at the dragon.
Kili’s expression darkened, fire in his eyes. “Harm her again and it’ll be the last thing you ever do. I swear it.”
Smaug laughed. “The dwarf cares for you? Despite the fact that you have no right to exist here? Hilarious. And pathetic.”
“She has every right!” Fili joined his brother and your heart raced even faster as every other dwarf and Bilbo stood in front of you, ready to defend you from the massive dragon beyond the gate.
“You know how this story ends, don’t you?” Smaug asked, his voice arrogant. He took a few heavy steps further. “You cannot win. There is no happily ever after. Not for you and certainly not for them.” You could see the fire welling in his chest, and before you could even comprehend what was happening, the fire exploded from his mouth.
It was too late. You nor the dwarves had time to take cover. It would all be for nothing. The journey, your friendship, all of your moments with them…burned to ash.
In that same moment, your hand shot forward, and as if by magic, the flames dispersed as though hitting an impenetrable bubble, a halo protecting you, Bilbo, and the dwarves.
A tear streaming down your cheek, you stood there, hand extended, protecting them with whatever magic this was, whatever power had been hidden inside you all along. Your gaze hardened and though you couldn’t see it, your eyes shined gold like the endless treasures inside the mountain. “I’m writing my own ending, slug.”
Smaug’s fire fizzled and he gasped as though it was being stolen from him, pulled straight from his mouth. He coughed. His chest lit orange, like he was preparing to breathe more fire, but the light inside of him flickered before going out completely. His eyes narrowed at you. “What have you done?!”
“Not sure. Want to find out what else I can do?”
Snorting angrily, Smaug turned around. You heard the breaking of stone and then nothing.
Your knees wobbled, a wave of exhaustion washing over you as you lowered your hand. The dwarves all murmured in amazement and confusion as the dragon fled. You collapsed, but Kili caught you on the way down, his strong arms softening the blow of your knees on the cold marble floors.
“How…how did you…?” Bilbo mumbled, confused.
“I don’t know.” You told him. “I…I don’t have any magic.”
“Well, that certainly looked like magic to me, lass.” Balin said, impressed with your work.
Dwalin smiled, proud. “I knew you had it in you.”
“Let’s make sure he’s left before getting too comfortable.” Thorin insisted.
“Good plan.” You told him, trying to stand, but finding your strength depleted.
Thorin shook his head. “Book Keeper, stay here. You’ve done enough for us for one night. Oin, gather supplies to treat her wound. Kili, you stay with her until she’s fit to move again.”
“I will.” Kili nodded, watching as the others left.
You exhaled a shaking breath, collapsing into his arms. Kili knelt there with you for a long moment, your breathing heavy, shoulders shaking. He held you, careful but firm, his touches deliberate and comforting.
After a while, you pulled away to look up at him, ash smeared on his face and pure starlight in his eyes.
“Kili…” Your eyes watered, voice wobbling. “You…”
“It’s alright.” He brushed the tear from your cheek. “We’re alright, look at me.”
You choked out a sob, staring at him for a long moment before finally, finally…
One of your hands rose to his cheek, tilting his face up to yours. You looked into his eyes for a moment and then leaned in, pressing your lips to his. He reciprocated immediately, like he’d been kissing you for centuries, his lips exploring yours, passionate and soft. Your heart pounded as your noses clashed, your hand wandering back into his hair and his strong arms tugging your body closer to his, chests flush with one another. The feeling of his scruff against your skin was everything you’d imagined it’d be that drunken night in the tavern.
After several minutes, you finally pulled apart, resting your forehead against his, your breathing heavy.
“It means ‘My Love.’” He told you, stopping to take a long, shaking breath. “Amrâlimê. It means ‘My Love.’ And I call you that because…you are my One. I’ve known since that night in the Shire when I turned the corner and saw you standing there.”
“Kili…” Your voice was soft. “The whole time?”
“I didn’t want to…scare you off.” He chuckled at the ridiculous notion. “I know humans don’t have Ones, even here. But that is no excuse. I should have told you so long ago. My brother has made that known at every opportunity.”
You slipped your bag off of your shoulder and onto the floor, reaching into it for a very special pouch. “I didn’t lose my ring.”
His eyes narrowed. “What do you mean?”
You tilted the pouch’s contents into your palm and held up the courting bead you had created from it instead. “I…”
“Is this a courting bead?” He asked, disbelief heavy in his tone and tears welling in his eyes. “You…you made this? You’d give up your ring…?”
“For you.” You set it in his palm and cupped his face in both of your hands. “I love you, Kili. I love you so much, and…if you’d let me, I’d like to braid your hair, court you the proper dwarf way.”
He let out a sob, throwing his arms around you and holding you tight. “I…I thought you’d never ask.” He pulled away to press another passionate kiss to your lips. “B-but my bead isn’t finished yet. I…I asked Bilbo to find an emerald for me, the finishing touch.” He touched his nose to yours, smiling softly. “They’ll match.”
“I can wait as long as you need me to.” You assured him, kissing him again, and then one more time for good measure. “I would wait a century for you, Kili.”
“I can’t believe this is happening…” He smiled into another kiss. “We must tell the others. Can you walk?”
“I think so.” You nodded, the two of you getting to your feet.
You were a little wobbly, but Kili took one of your arms around his shoulder, supporting you every step of the way. Sure, your leg hurt a bit, but you could hardly think about it after everything that had just transpired.
Eventually, you both came upon the other dwarves, who had started clearing out the commons. Some of them, Balin and Bilbo and Thorin, were out on a balcony, watching Smaug as he flew off towards Laketown. Oin had set up a makeshift infirmary in the corner of the room, and as soon as Fili saw you and his brother enter, he rushed over, taking your other arm and helping you to the cot.
“Does it hurt?” Kili asked as they set you down and Oin started examining the mark.
“A little.” You winced as the older dwarf poked at it.
“It’s not too deep and the bleeding has already stopped.” Oin noted. “It will probably hurt for a few days, but it should heal up just fine, lass.”
“Thank you, Oin.”
“I’ll apply a salve and get you wrapped up.”
Oin rummaged through his supplies while Bilbo rushed into the room, an excited expression on his face. “They shot Smaug down! The people of Laketown, they shot him down before he even reached the edge of town!”
The dwarves burst into joyful celebration, but you sat there in shock. Huh. Maybe warning Bard had some unforeseen consequences…
“Oh shit.” Your eyes widened. “He didn’t…burn the town down?” As Oin tended to your wound you reached for the book, desperately flipping to the end.
“He…he didn’t have any fire.” Bilbo said, his voice quiet.
“That…might be a problem.” You told him, taking your lip between your teeth. “Or not…? I really…wow, I didn’t see that coming.”
Before anyone could say anything else, Thorin and Balin returned to the fold, accompanied by none other than Gandalf the Gray. The relief was palpable as soon as you saw him. Good. At least now you’d have him to talk to.
When he spotted you amongst the dwarves, a mischievous twinkle gleamed in his wise old eyes. “Ah, the Book Keeper. Making a splash, I see.”
“Yeah, it seems like it.”
“There is much we must discuss.” Gandalf said. “Oin, are you done with her?”
“Aye.” Oin nodded. You stood and followed Gandalf further into the depths of Erebor, out of earshot of the other dwarves. As you were walking away, you spotted Kili in the corner of your eye as Bilbo handed him what appeared to be the aforementioned emerald.
“So, where do we even begin…?” Gandalf murmured, lighting his pipe as he settled into the chair at the end of the table that appeared to have been the grand dining room a long time ago. There was quite a bit of dust. “I suppose we’ll start with something light; How’s Kili?”
You laughed. “Kili is good. No poisoned arrow to the leg, no near-death in Laketown…and um, we’re actually…well, we’ll be courting soon.”
“Dwarvish courting rituals?” Gandalf raised his eyebrows. “I must say, I’m impressed. Show me the bead.”
You pulled it out of its pouch and handed it to the wizard, who smiled a knowing smile once he examined it.
“I thought that claddagh ring might come in handy, although I must admit, not for this exact purpose.” He noted, smug. “Congratulations! Well, onto the…other matters at hand…Laketown seems to be rather in-tact, does it not?”
“Yeah, that, um…just happened. Smaug got me in the leg, one thing came to another, and he breathed fire at us, but I…stopped it? I think. With a…well, with like a force-field. A bubble around me and the others.”
“Oh…very interesting indeed…” Gandalf thought on this for a moment, inhaling from his pipe before letting the smoke tumble from his lips. “That is something I did not foresee.”
“I think it…weakened Smaug. It was like I stole his fire.” Your voice came out soft and uncertain. “That’s probably why…”
“Very possible.” He nodded. “Well, I suspect that soon, the Master and the rest of the town will be here, demanding their pay.”
“You don’t think that’ll change?”
“I doubt it. And Thranduil and his forces are on their way as well. It seems the Battle of Five Armies is still coming.”
You were quiet for a long time. “Um…Gandalf…”
His voice softened when he saw the look on your face. “Yes, my dear, what’s wrong?”
“I can save him, right? That’s why I’m here? To save them?” You asked, your voice catching.
Gandalf reached across the table, letting his hand settle on top of yours. “I picked you for a reason, (Y/N). I would not have chosen you if I didn’t believe it could be done. And now that you are here…you are not alone. I think you know that.”
You nodded. You blinked and a tear slipped down your cheek.
“You know what they say, my dear, love is unpredictable. It seems you’ve recently learned just how powerful it can be.”
“Thank you.”
He gently wiped the tear from your cheek. “Don’t thank me yet. Celebrate with the dwarves. Celebrate with your beloved. You’ve earned it. I’ll be seeing you soon.”
***
Gandalf spoke with the rest of the company briefly before leaving, you assumed, to see where the elves were setting up camp, if they really were that far in their journey. You hoped you’d at least get a few days of peace before the war broke out. You needed it.
Bombur cooked up one hell of a dinner and Dori had gone digging through the wine cellars to find something extra special for the company to celebrate with. Oin had changed your bandages once, but when he did, he noticed that your wound had already mostly closed up. You were going to be just fine. Well, physically anyway.
You’d changed into the dress you’d gotten in Laketown, the green one embroidered with purple wildflowers, not unlike the ones Kili had given you.
“You look lovely.” Fili complimented. “Is that the one from the market?”
“It is.” You smiled and did a little spin. “Do you think he’ll like it?”
“Take a look for yourself.” Fili motioned tilted his head towards his brother on the other side of the room, staring at you with stars in his eyes. Fili’s hand touched your shoulder before he walked off with Bofur and Dwalin to get everything ready for the feast.
Kili walked to you, staring up at you in awe. He gently touched the fabric of your dress. “Is this new? I’ve never seen you wear this before.”
“I got it in Laketown.” You confirmed. “Do you like it?”
“Oh, Amrâlimê, I love it.” He brushed the loose hairs out of your face, and pulled yours down to his, kissing you gently. “Emerald green happens to be my favorite color.”
“It does?”
“Well, it’s my second favorite color.” He admitted, his voice soft. “My first favorite is the color of your eyes.”
Your heart welled with warmth and your lips crashed against his once more, his kiss stealing the air from your lungs until you were interrupted by the sound of footsteps coming down the hall. So, laughing, the two of you joined the others for the celebration.
You all settled in the dining hall Gandalf had taken you to. Some of the dwarves had cleaned up a bit, dusting areas where you’d be eating. Balin got some of the torches going to bring light to the place. It was so big. The ceilings were impossibly high, the walls carved into green marble. It was a place that had been expertly crafted by the most talented architects around, you were sure of it. There was care and skill put into every detail.
“Would you like some wine, Book Keeper?” Dori asked, a bottle in his hand.
“Just a little this time. I think we all remember what effect alcohol has on me.”
The others laughed softly. You were in the seat beside Kili’s and he kept resting his hand on your thigh beneath the table, the warmth of his hand causing similar warmth to pool in your stomach.
“You two look rather glowing this evening.” Fili smirked. “Any news you’d like to share with the rest of us?”
“Ah, yes.” Kili cleared his throat and the chattering dwarves all sat at attention. “Uncle, if I may…”
“Please do.” Thorin nodded his head, expectant.
“Our beautiful Book Keeper has presented me with a courting bead.” Kili said, his hand slipping into yours. “And I have obviously accepted her proposal because…she is my One. We’ll begin our courtship after tonight’s feast.”
The company burst into cheers and applause that echoed off of the walls of the dining hall.
Thorin reached to his nephew, putting a hand atop Kili’s. “Congratulations, nephew.” He looked to you. “And congratulations, (Y/N).”
“Thank you, your highness.” You nodded your head.
“No, no more titles.” Thorin shook his head. “You are one of us now. You can refer to me as Thorin, if you wish.”
You knew in your heart that he was right. This was your family. These were your people. And now, more than ever, you were honored to be surrounded by them.
“Tomorrow, we’ll have a meeting discussing further steps and the things to come, but tonight, we have much to celebrate.” Thorin announced.
The feast that followed was perhaps the best celebration you’d experienced with them thus far. Some of the dwarves got very intoxicated, including Ori, who was laying on the floor in front of the fireplace, mumbling something about cheese. Fili and Kili had a few drinks together, but Kili had stopped drinking before the others to prepare for what was to come.
Fili, Gloin, and Dori left for a while at some point and when they returned, Fili whispered something to his brother who laughed and thanked him. After a while, everything seemed to calm down. Some of the dwarves wandered the halls to find a place to sleep, and Kili took that as his opportunity to escort you to the bedrooms.
In a place the size of Erebor, there were countless bedrooms, but Kili led you down the halls to what you felt was a very sacred place, lit with torches. And along the floor, there was a trail of wildflower petals, not unlike the kind Kili had given you, leading into one of said bedrooms.
“These are the rooms set aside for the royal family.” Kili explained, kissing your hand. “The one at the end of the hall is for the king. The one next door is the one set aside for Fili because he is the heir, and this one has been prepared for us.” He pushed open the door, and led you inside, closing the door behind you.
The flower petals trailed to the edge of the king-sized bed, which had been dusted and dressed with fresh bedding. The entire room was clean. There was a pair of large closets carved into the wall, a large window with a bench seat beneath it, a large desk and a giant bookshelf. The torches were lit, casting the room in warm firelight, although you could imagine just how stunning it would be once the sun came up and started streaming through the windows.
On the desk, there was a vase filled of the wildflowers Kili had picked for you, their colors still as beautiful and vivid as when he’d first presented them to you.
“Do you like it?” He asked, searching your eyes.
“It’s perfect, Kili.” You reassured him, squeezing his hand. You reached into your bag and pulled out the pouch containing the courting bead. “How do we do this?”
He grinned, cheeky. “What, the other’s didn’t tell you the specifics?”
You smirked. “Let’s just say I’m a hands-on learner.”
Kili pulled you in for a kiss, his lips a little firmer now than they had been during your previous kisses, a hand wandering into your hair. While your lips were on his, he tugged you to the bed by your hips and the two of you sat on its edge side by side. He lingered for a long moment before pulling away to reach into his pocket.
Very carefully, he presented his courting bead. It was a little thinner than the one you’d made for him, a more intricate band with a swirling silver design, some leaves carved into the precious metal. In the center of it, was a beautiful glimmering emerald cut into an oval. You gasped when you saw it. Kili had obviously been working on this for quite some time.
You immediately teared up. “Oh my god, it’s beautiful.”
He grinned. “I’m glad you think so.” Kili rested his forehead against yours, his lips mere inches away. “I’m sorry it took me so long, Amrâlimê. I’m sorry all of this has taken so long. If I could do it all over again, I’d have told you the way I felt that first night in the Shire. I have wasted so much time unable to kiss you. And oh, how I have wanted to kiss you.”
You kissed him, your movements long and slow. You felt him smile against you before you mumbled, “That makes two of us.”
“Until recently, I didn’t know that the men of your kind were supposed to initiate courting—sorry, dating." He admitted. “Fili um…”
“I know. He told me.” You chuckled.
Kili laughed sheepishly. “Oh.”
“There’s no real hard and fast rule, but generally speaking, it usually is the men that make the first move.” You told him, a thumb rubbing his cheek. “I don’t mind waiting, though. I’m pretty patient. And the flowers you picked for me are very beautiful.”
“So it starts with flowers. What comes after?”
“It doesn’t always start with flowers, but they are definitely a good way to tell someone you’re interested. After that, they usually ask you on a date. They’ll take you somewhere, a restaurant or a theater or somewhere more creative than that. They might hold your hand or kiss you. If the date goes well, you usually plan another one.”
He smiled, his eyes exploring yours. “That sounds fun.”
“It is sometimes.”
“And then what?”
“And then, after a handful of dates, they ask you to be their partner, their boyfriend or girlfriend. And you keep going on dates and getting to know eachother. Sometimes you move in together, sometimes you wait. And after a long while, they propose.”
“Propose…?”
“Right. Um, they propose a marriage engagement. A betrothal, I guess you would call it.”
“Ah.” He smiled, nodding as he took in the information. “Well, I will need more details on how to properly do that when the time comes.” Kili took your hands. “But for now, I’m going to teach you how to do courtship braids.”
Kili fetched a brush from the desk and returned to you, gently brushing the tangles out of your hair. “Now, the courtship braids are typically done to mirror one another, so that when we’re standing side by side, they’ll be next to each other.” He told you, pressing a kiss to your cheek and then your neck.
You flushed at his warmth, at the softness of his lips against your tender skin. “That’s romantic.”
“It is.” He agreed. “Which side would you like yours on?”
“The right.”
Kili began to very expertly braid the hair on the right side of your head. It was something similar to the French braids you’d done as a girl, although it didn’t incorporate all of your hair. It sat in the middle of the hair on the right side of your head, some hair in front of and behind it. Once he reached the ends of your hair, he secured it with the courting bead he had spent so long crafting.
And then, you did the same to him, on the left side of his head. He talked you through the process with encouragement and soft laughter, and at the end, you decided it looked pretty good. Kili helped you secure it in a way that would ensure it wouldn’t come out. The bead looked good against his dark hair, contrasting well.
Once it was in place, Kili cupped your face in his warm, calloused hands, touching his nose to yours. He exhaled a long breath.
“I love you, (Y/N).” He said the words slowly, significantly. They sat heavy on his tongue. He gazed into your eyes. “I want to build a life with you and now that we’re here…it finally feels real.”
“I know what you mean,” you whispered. “I can’t imagine a life without you in it.”
You knew then that the two of you were sitting in the eye of the storm, that in a few days or maybe longer, there would be elves and men and orcs at the front gates of Erebor, ready for battle. You didn’t know what the future held, not for certain. But you knew as long as you lived, you would always love Kili, whether or not you got to spend that time by his side.
You had loved Kili since he was mere paper and ink to you, you loved him now that he was flesh and blood and warmth, and you would love him forever, even if he was just a distant memory.
And so, you kissed him with a little more passion that night, held him a little tighter in your arms, relished in the feeling of his skin against yours, his hair between your fingers, and his lips slotted to your own. You loved him like it was your last night together, and for all you knew, it was.
***
The next morning, sun streamed through the window, casting the room in color and light. By the time you opened your eyes, Kili was still asleep on the pillow beside you, deep snores rumbling from his lips and one of his thick arms around your waist. His courting bead glistened in his braid, the only one adorning his soft hair.
You admired him for a long, quiet moment. He looked so peaceful. Your handsome prince. You pondered it for a bit, what your wedding might look like. What your life together would look like after. The details were fuzzy and uncertain, but your heart ached to know, to get that chance when all the dust had settled.
His face did look rather human, you supposed, taking his face into consideration now that you finally had a good, long, intimate look at it. The others in the company, aside from maybe Thorin and Fili, all had a very different look about them, something more distinctly dwarvish that you couldn’t put a finger on. Perhaps it was their noses. But Kili…if he were a little taller, he’d fit seamlessly into your own realm, you were sure.
You laughed internally at the thought. You weren’t sure what Kili would think of your realm, in all honesty. It was quite different than the one you had spent the last several months in, that was for sure.
Kili stirred, blinking a few times before his eyes truly settled on you, bathed in sunlight on the pillow in front of him. He smiled.
“Good morning.” He whispered, his voice impossibly deep with sleep. He reached up to brush the stray hairs out of your face. “You know, I had quite the dream last night.”
“Whatever might it have been about?”
“It had something to do with…you and I…” He murmured, scooching closer, his arms pulling you so close to him that you now shared just one pillow, mere inches between your faces. His leg slotted between your legs and his lips did not hesitate to begin exploring your own.
You smiled against him, a hand wandering into his hair to keep his face close to yours while the other found itself curled against his hairy chest. He deepened the kiss, drawing a hum from the depths of your throat.
He stopped to look at you.
“You know, I think I had the same dream.” You told him, eyes scanning every detail of his face, committing it all to memory. You wanted to remember this, how you felt in this exact moment, the honeymoon-like bliss of this first morning.
“Really…” He murmured in mock shock. “How strange.”
“Very.” You giggled a bit before finally confessing, “Kili, is now a bad time to tell you I’ve had a crush on you since I was twelve?”
His face lit up, that youthful smile you’d fallen in love with quick to overtake his features. “I knew it!” He laughed triumphantly. “I knew there was something in your eyes that night. That’s why you recognized me before you recognized the others.”
You smiled, coy. “Perhaps.”
He stole another long kiss.
“Don’t let it go to your head.” You smirked.
He grinned, mischievous. “Pshh, me? Never. But I don’t think it’ll come as a shock to the others that I’ve been your favorite dwarf since the very beginning. You’re not very good at hiding it, you know.”
“Really. Good to know; I’ll have to make more of an effort, then.”
He touched the tip of his nose to yours. “Well…I wouldn’t worry about hiding it too much. I think they can handle the news. They’ll just have to accept the fact that I’ve won the race to your heart.”
“There wasn’t anyone else in the running. It’s only ever been you.”
Kili smirked, kissing you one last time before saying, “I know.”
The two of you got dressed for the day and walked down to breakfast together, hand in hand. Bilbo perked up at the sight of you, smiling warmly when he saw your matching braids tied with matching beads.
“Good morning, lovebirds.”
“Morning, Bilbo.”
“Sleep well?” The hobbit asked innocently, sipping a cup of tea.
Gloin chuckled and muttered, “I’m not sure they did much sleeping, lad,” which caused said hobbit to promptly choke on said tea.
You laughed and sat down in the spot you’d been sitting the night previous, beside Kili, who got you each a serving of food. By now, he knew all of your favorites by heart. He set the plate in front of you and punctuated it with a long kiss on your cheek. Now this you could get used to.
It was so nice to have everything out in the open, not that it had been that much of a secret before. Now there was just one last challenge to conquer, that of your lover’s impending doom.
The rest of the dwarves trickled in slowly, grabbing some breakfast before taking a seat at the long table. Thorin was the last of them and he looked absolutely exhausted. There were dark bags beneath his eyes, a slowness to his step. He sat at the end of the table all at once. It could have been the new environment causing this, you reasoned. An unfamiliar bed, an unfamiliar peace and quiet that he hadn’t been accustomed to on the road. There was, however, a little voice in the back of your head that warned of what would happen to Thorin because of all of the gold in that seemingly endless treasure room.
You’d forgotten about it until now, and you deeply hoped you were wrong.
Your concerns subsided a bit when he noticed the beads in yours and Kili’s hair and smiled, proud of his nephew. Thorin was still in there. He could be reasoned with, you were sure. Although, you weren’t sure how long that would last.
Once he got some food, he started the meeting.
“So, Book Keeper, Smaug is dead. What comes next?”
You were quiet for a moment, figuring how best to word it. “So…they call it the Battle of Five Armies.”
“Battle…?” some of the dwarves murmured.
“The five armies being the dwarves, the men of Laketown, the elves of Mirkwood, and two groups of orcs, or, in some interpretations, the orcs and their wargs. It’s…well, it’s not good. First, the men and the elves will come. The men will want compensation for slaying Smaug, and also the gold they were promised while we were in town. The elves come because…well, because Thranduil wants pretty elvish gems or something…”
Thorin nodded. “The white gems. I am familiar.”
“Right. And the orcs come because…they’re orcs. I don’t really know their motivation other than the fact that they crave violence. When the orcs arrive, the elves and men aid us in the battle, but there are…casualties.” You said the word carefully, trying to hide how much it hurt. You knew Kili noticed, though. Sometimes, you swore he felt your emotions.
“Are there more dwarves than just us, lass?” Dwalin spoke up, leaning against the table as he weight the information you were presenting.
“Yes. I believe you call for your cousin, Dain and his forces. They arrive and they do fight alongside everyone else.”
“I’ll send for him today, then.”
You nodded. “That would probably be a good idea, yeah. Um, Gandalf said he was going to check on the status of things, to see where the elves were, I think.”
Thorin was quiet for a moment before asking the one question you were fearing. “And what of the Arkenstone? Is it here?”
“It is here. Somewhere. I’m not sure exactly where though. The book tends to skim over details like that sometimes.” It wasn’t technically a lie. You didn’t know where it was, although you did have a pretty good estimate…
Thorin nodded, his face serious. He thought for a long moment. “We’ll need to get the forges going as soon as possible, ready armor and weapons for battle. The bedrooms and kitchens will need to be prepared. We are about to have several guests…”
The king beneath the mountain designated roles to the party to prepare the place for war. Balin stayed at the table to ask you further questions.
“So what are we to do when they arrive at the gates, lass?” He quieted his voice despite the fact that the king had gone down to the treasure room with his nephews to look for the Arkenstone. “Would Thorin not have honored his promise?”
“He, um…” You shook your head. “Things are going to get weird around here. He succumbs to dragon sickness; it clouds his judgement. He breaks his promise to the men and hesitates to join the fight at all, despite the fact that his people are out there fighting the attacking orcs. I’m hoping we can steer him otherwise this time around, but…it might be difficult to break through to him.”
“If anyone can, I’m sure it’s us.” Balin nodded. His face fell, though, before he asked the next question on his mind. “And these…casualties?”
You were quiet for a long, long moment. You opened your mouth to speak, but instead, you burst into tears.
“Oh, lass…” Balin stepped closer, putting an arm around you to comfort you.
You flipped to the page in the book and handed it to Balin, marking the second time ever someone other than you had gotten a glimpse inside of it, and at that same section, too. Balin read it silently and nodded, solemn.
“I feared as much.”
“It’s…that’s the reason I’m here at all.” You finally admitted, wiping the tears from your cheeks. Balin offered you a handkerchief. “When Gandalf came to me…that was my end of the deal, the promise that I could…change things. Save him. Save all of them.” You took a shaking breath. “It’s not written in that part, but…Thorin doesn’t make it either…”
“Mmm…” Balin hummed, his voice low. “Does anyone else know?”
“Bilbo does.” You confessed. “He, um…found me crying about it in Laketown the night before we left. But that’s it. Just you two. And Gandalf, obviously.”
“I wouldn’t tell the lads.” He advised, his voice trembling the smallest bit. “I think it would make them nervous. Could make it worse.”
“I wasn’t planning on it, but…Kili knows there’s something going on. I don’t know if I’ll be able to hide it from him.”
“He loves you.” Balin nodded. “And I know you love him, too. And I know how much it must have hurt you to carry it this long. But I will not let that happen to either of them and I know you will not either. We saw what happened with the dragon…maybe there’s a way to bring that power in you out again.”
You nodded, considering it. “That’s actually a really good idea.”
Balin rested his hand atop yours. “We’ll figure it out, lass.”
***
Later that day, the dwarves congregated on the training grounds to brush up on battle skills. Kili had spent most of the afternoon readying the archery range while the others sharpened weapons and reinforced shields. Thorin was the only one not present. He was still searching the treasure room for that damn Arkenstone.
Balin had informed the others of the plan, to awaken that magic inside of you again, so they were all brainstorming methods of doing so.
“Maybe it has to do with the fire.” Nori suggested. “The fire of the dragon oncoming.”
“Perhaps…” Balin nodded.
“Worth a try.” You agreed.
“Here goes.” Gloin shrugged, preparing a flaming torch.
Kili’s eyes widened, stepping between you and the flame. “Now wait just a second, are we sure this is the best way to figure it out?”
“The lad is right.” Oin nodded. “There was real danger involved with the dragon. Perhaps it’s the intensity of the battle that sets her off.”
“No!” Kili protested. “Does anyone have any ideas that do not involve hurting my beloved?”
The others laughed, thinking for a moment.
Dwalin had a mischievous look on his face. “I have a theory.” Then, out of nowhere, he threw a dagger at Kili.
Without even thinking, your hand shot out in front of you and before the dagger made contact with Kili, it bounced away, defying the laws of physics as though it had hit a bubble, clattering to the ground moments later.
Everyone stood there in shock, staring at you and Kili and your outstretched hand.
“Oh.” You said softly, lowering your arm and staring at your palm.
“The lass wasn’t the only one in danger that day, remember.” Dwalin crossed his arms, smirking proudly. “She’s a protector, whether she’s realized it or not.”
“She’s been protecting us with her knowledge all this time.” Balin agreed with his brother and took your hand. “And now, you’ve found a magic of your own.”
“And I intend to use it.” You told the rest of them. “I came all this way. We all did. I’m…I’m not going to let anything happen to any of you. This battle is the reason I’m here; the rest of it was just the icing on the cake.”
“We trust you.” Fili said, meeting your eyes. “We all do.”
Your heart ached. It was still scary, thinking of the oncoming battle and everything it could cost if you didn’t succeed. But this power inside of you, this love you held for the company, you knew it wouldn’t let you down. You knew you wouldn’t let them down.
You couldn’t.
***
That night, you didn’t get very much sleep. It started with a nightmare. Your subconscious had chosen this exact moment to remind you that you had watched the extended edition of the Battle of Five Armies once. Seeing Kili lifeless and pale, laying on that stone slab, lit by gentle flickering lights…You’d all but forgotten what their funeral had looked like. You wish you’d never remembered.
You woke with a start, sitting straight up and breathing heavy, trying to clear the image from your mind. There would be no funeral. It was fine. Everything was fine. Except, that didn’t seem to stop the tears from flowing.
Kili was still sleeping. You didn’t want to wake him; he’d need his rest for the days to come. So, you slipped out of the bed as quietly as you could and walked through the halls to the kitchens. Dori had been kind enough to organize all of the tea and polish some of the teapots. You put on a kettle and waited for the water to boil.
You heard footsteps coming down the hall and wiped at your tears, partially expecting it to be Kili. You were surprised, however, when it was Bofur that came through the doorway.
“I knew I heard someone in here. Thought you might be my brother.” He chuckled. “Can’t sleep?”
“Nightmare.” You told him, shrugging when the kettle started to scream. You pulled it off of the hot burner and switched off the heat, pouring yourself a cup of hot water and beginning to steep some Chamomile in it.
“Ah…Sorry to hear that, lass.” He nodded. “Do you want to talk about it?”
“I kind of…can’t. It’s about the days to come…” You sighed. “Specifically about the worst possible outcome.”
“I see.” Bofur hummed. “Well, if it is what I think it is…I don’t foresee it happening. You’ve kept us out of trouble. This too will pass.”
You nodded, sniffling. “I’m just scared. I know I can do it, especially after training today, but…if I fail…”
“Right.” He nodded. “I had nightmares before we left home, you know. Us dwarves…we all pretend to be so fearless, but I was very afraid we wouldn’t make it here. That it would all be for nothing. I know you fear…losing him. But I think he fears losing you too, lass. Sometimes, fear is all that’s keeping us alive.”
You were quiet for a long moment, letting it sink in. Bofur was right. “You’re wiser than the others give you credit for, you know.”
He laughed. “Yeah, well…you pick up some things in your travels.”
You sipped your warm tea.
“The courting braid suits you.” He noted. “Do you mind if I take a closer look at the bead Kili made?”
“I don’t mind.” You lifted the braid from your shoulder and presented it to him so he could see.
Bofur’s eyes scanned the bead and he smiled. “I saw him working on it on the boat to Laketown. I don’t think he knew then that you had plans of making one at all.” He chuckled. “I could tell he was getting desperate to tell you how he felt.”
“Oh yeah. He had Fili ask me for human courting rituals.”
“Now that, I did not know.” Bofur laughed. “Hence the wildflowers, I presume.”
“Yeah, exactly.” You giggled, taking another sip of tea.
Another set of footsteps trekked down the hallway, this time coming from the direction of the royal chambers. Sure enough, it was Kili. He looked relieved when he found you.
“There you are, Amrâlimê.” He walked into the kitchen. “Are you alright? Why did you leave?”
“I had a nightmare.” You confessed. “I didn’t want to wake you.”
“Have you been crying?” He noticed your tearstained cheeks as he got closer, his warm fingers slotting into their place along your jaw.
“A bit.” You nodded.
“Come back to bed.” He whispered, kissing your nose. His other hand slipped into yours and squeezed.
“Okay.” A tear slipped down your cheek and he was quick to wipe it away, leading you back down the halls to your shared room after the two of you bid a final goodnight to Bofur.
Kili closed the door behind you and walked to the bed, pulling the covers open for you. You settled back onto the comfortable mattress, laying on your side.
“Now, what is it that has you so worked up, my love?” He whispered, an arm settling around your waist. “You’ve been crying a lot lately, haven’t you?”
You responded with more tears, crawling into his arms and burying your face in his shoulder. He held you tight, doing his best to comfort you with his touch.
“Oh, hey, hey, it’s alright. We’re alright.” He said, his voice soft and sincere. “You don’t have to tell me if it hurts too much. Is it nightmares about spiders?”
“No…” You shook your head, your voice muffled by the fabric of his sleep shirt.
“Goblins? Smaug?”
“No.”
“Mmm, so something very scary, then?”
You took a shaking breath. “The scariest thing I can imagine.”
“Hmmm…” He hummed thoughtfully, his hand gently stroking your hair. “Do you want to know what the scariest moment of this trip has been for me?”
“What?”
“When that goblin king hoisted you into the air by the ends of your hair, dangling you above the rest of us, threatening to torture you right in front of me mere hours after I’d finally gotten to hold you in my arms for the first time.” He shook his head. “And the second was when that accursed dragon hurt you and started threatening you. My worst nightmare…is losing you.”
You took a shaking breath, pulling away so you could look into his eyes, bathed in the moonlight streaming through the window.
“I put the pieces together a while ago.” His voice shook. “I know…I’m not meant to survive the battle. In the story you read growing up, anyways.”
A tear rolled from your eye and your breath caught in your throat. “Kili…”
“I thought it might be the dragon that got me. I didn’t know there would be…more danger after.” His thumb expertly swiped your tear away. “And I don’t blame you for not telling me. But I’m not scared. Not of that.”
“Why?”
“It’s like you told Smaug. My ending is getting a rewrite, and I trust you with the pen.” He touched his nose to yours. “The way I see it, I know for certain I’m going to spend the rest of my life with you, whether I have two more days or two more centuries.”
You kissed him, your lips salty with tears, and his moving gently against yours. “I love you.” You sobbed.
“I know you do.” He kissed you again before rolling over and pulling you on top of him. His lips gently pecked the top of your head and he held you tight as you cried against him. “I love you too.”
***
The next day was the day Dain’s forces arrived. Thorin and the others escorted the new dwarves into Erebor and they began preparing for war, forging weapons, adjusting armor, training battle skills. Sometime in the early afternoon, Thranduil, Bard, and their armies arrived at the front gate.
You sat nearby, hidden within the walls, listening as Thorin and the dwarves heatedly debated with them. Thorin refused to give up his treasures, and you weren’t sure if it was because of the dragon sickness or if he knew they’d need their help when the orcs arrived the following day.
“Dwarves, I know you are hiding your precious little Book Keeper within those walls.” Thranduil’s arrogant voice echoed from the back of his reindeer to your very ears.
Your eyes went wide, heart racing as you listened.
“Bring her to me for a…discussion, or we begin our attack immediately.”
“Thranduil, this is madness.” You heard Bard rebuttle.
“Madness or not, I would like a glimpse into the future as well. I believe it’s only fair.”
“You’ll not have a single word with her!” Thorin shouted.
“Thorin…” Balin reasoned. “Let’s think about this.”
“What is there to think about?” Kili joined the conversation. “She is my beloved, not a bargaining piece.”
You stood up and walked to the dwarves. “I’ll go.”
Kili turned around and shook his head. “No. Amrâlimê, who knows what he wants with you? There has to be another way.”
“Maybe I can reason with them, get them all on the same page about the battle.” You tilted your head and reached into your bag, pulling out the book and handing it to Kili. His eyes widened. He’d never touched it before, let alone been entrusted with its wellbeing. “Look after this until I get back, okay?”
Kili took the book and nodded, his eyes serious. You leaned forward and pressed a long kiss to his lips before walking through the front gates. And while you were distracting the rest of the party, Bilbo was able to slip away unnoticed as well.
Thranduil looked over you with curious eyes. They were almost unnaturally blue, celestial. His hair was long, platinum blond like his son’s had been that brief moment you saw him. “Come, child.” He held out his hand and you took it, allowing him to pull you onto the back of his reindeer and take you to the ruins of Dale, where the elves and the men were camped together.
When you got to the tent where the leaders had been planning, you were pretty surprised to find Gandalf already there.
“Book Keeper, I apologize for the elf king’s…brashness. He did not believe me that you existed.” Gandalf apologized.
“It’s okay.” You assured him.
“So, tell me Book Keeper. How is it you are able to tell the future of our world? And how were you able to sneak through my palace unnoticed?”
“I have a book about the dwarves’ adventure from my realm. Where I’m from, all of this is a work of fiction. That’s how I know what’s going to happen.” You told him. “And I didn’t sneak through unnoticed. I was actually spotted by several of your guards. They all thought I was an elf, including your son.”
Thranduil stared at you with those weird, big blue eyes. He looked kinda pissed, but he was graceful about it.
“She speaks the truth.” Bard said, his eyes grateful. “Without her warning, Smaug would have burned Laketown to splinters. I was able to shoot him down before he even reached the edge of town because she told me exactly where and how and with what to shoot him. It worked.”
“I’m glad I could help.” You told him.
“She means well, Thranduil.”
“I will be the judge of that.” The elven king tilted his head, his voice cool and emotionless. “Tell me, Book Keeper, do you know why I am here?”
“You want the white gems in Erebor.”
“They belong to me.”
“That seems to be subjective.” You replied.
“How dare you, you insolent girl—”
“Thranduil, please.” Gandalf calmed him.
“What of the men, then?” Thranduil challenged, crossing his arms.
“The dwarves promised them gold in exchange for the weapons we were gifted in Laketown.” You replied. “And Thorin is being…stubborn on the matter, admittedly.”
“I have tried to argue that your tip about Smaug and the value of his hide outweighs the dwarves’ debt.” Bard informed you. “My people are being stubborn about it as well.”
“No, they’re right. Thorin should pay you for everything you all did for us. I can try to convince him, but I’m not sure he’ll budge.” You shared a look with Gandalf that told the wizard everything he needed to know.
“There is a larger problem at stake here, is there not, Book Keeper?” Gandalf pushed. “Larger than sums of gold or indebted jewels.”
“There are orcs coming. They’ll be here tomorrow. If we don’t all band together to fight them, to finish them off, they will not stop until all of Middle Earth is conquered, all of your people killed.” You told them.
“Why should I believe a word you say?” Thranduil’s eyebrows furrowed and his eyes settled in your hair. “How do I know this is not a distraction to pull my focus from what matters to me? Is that not a dwarven courting bead braided into your hair? Your interests are vested.”
“I do have a vested interest in the dwarves; of course I do. They’re my best friends, my family. One of them is the love of my life. But I have a vested interest in the rest of Middle Earth, too. I grew up on the stories of this place, stories about you, about your son, Legolas and the amazing things he’ll accomplish someday. But if the world is overrun by orcs, I don’t think any of that will happen. Sure, in the short term, the dwarves and the men would get wiped out and you’d be able to hide in Mirkwood, but you wouldn’t be able to hide forever. They’ll get you eventually and it will have all been for nothing, your eternal life wasted when you could have changed the outcome.”
Thranduil was quiet for a long moment, processing your monologue. “And say I do help you…Will you guarantee I am given what I am owed?”
“You have my word.”
Bilbo appeared in the entrance of the tent, tucking his ring into his pocket. “I’ve brought some…insurance that Thorin will pay after the Battle.”
“Bilbo?” Gandalf raised his eyebrows.
“Hello, Gandalf.” Bilbo reached into his coat and presented the Arkenstone, at which Bard’s eyes widened. “Thorin values this gem more than anything. Surely if you present it to him, he will give you what he’s promised in return.”
“How is this yours to give?” Bard murmured.
Bilbo shrugged. “I took it as my 14th share of the treasure in the mountain. With the guidance of a certain Book Keeper, of course.”
You looked from Thranduil to Bard. “Please.”
“If you can provide the women and children of Laketown safety during the battle, I swear every man will fight to the last breath.” Bard offered.
“Done.” You agreed.
Thranduil stared at the Arkenstone for a long, long while before meeting your eyes again. “Since it is orcs and not just dwarves we will be fighting…I’ll call for reinforcements.”
You exhaled in relief. “Thank you.”
“We have been collecting dragon hide from Smaug.” Bard added. “It seems only fitting to offer the dwarves some for armor.”
“Thank you, Bard. Also…do me a favor and pretend Bilbo didn’t give you the Arkenstone. Claim you…found it inside of Smaug’s remains…or something.” You asked. “It’ll save us all some trouble with the king under the mountain.”
“Done.” Thranduil nodded. “Now, my son will escort you back to Erebor, if you so please.”
Your eyes widened. “Um, sure. Thank you, your highness.”
Bilbo stuck around to talk to Gandalf for a moment while you walked outside the tent to find Legolas standing there with an amused grin.
“I saved you that dance.” He teased.
“Yeah, sorry about that. I’ve actually…got a prince of my own waiting for me in Erebor.”
“Well, he is very lucky, then.” Legolas took your arm. He led you to his horse and helped you up onto the back of it. “I could not help but overhear that you’ve heard stories of me, where you’re from?”
“Yeah. About sixty years from now, you kind of save the world. It’s pretty awesome.”
“Mmm.” Legolas nodded, impressed. “Good to know. And I suppose you’ll be around to guide us then as well?”
“I hope so.”
The ride back to Erebor was rather short. Legolas dropped you off at the bridge, where Kili was pacing outside. He lit up when he saw you’d returned, rushing to you immediately and handing the book back to you.
“How did it go?”
“Really well, actually.” You told him, pressing your lips to his for a moment before asking, “Where’s your uncle?”
“He’s…in the treasure room.” Balin answered. “I’ll go fetch him.”
Kili walked with you back inside, his hand tight in yours. The dwarves all assembled in the throne room. Thorin, who was now wearing a large gold and silver crown on his head, sat on the throne carved from stone. He really did look the part, now.
“What did they say?” Thorin asked. “Negotiating for treasure, no doubt.”
“Partially. I told them of the orcs that are coming and…they’ve all agreed to help fight. Thranduil, in exchange for the white gems, and Bard in exchange for the gold they were promised in Laketown and the safety of their women and children during the battle.” You explained, heart racing as you watched the expression on Thorin’s face for any sign of anger. “Bard is also sending us pieces of Smaug’s hide to make armor from. They’ve been…dismantling the dragon.”
“Mmm…” Thorin hummed and then went quiet for an uncomfortable amount of time. “Book Keeper, I must admit, I am quite impressed.” He nodded, a proud look on his face. “You will make a fine princess one day.”
“Thank you.” You exhaled in relief. “The orcs will be here tomorrow, rather early in the day. We don’t have a lot of time.”
“Then we will spend all night preparing.” Thorin decided. “Dwarves, to your stations. We must prepare for war.”
***
Not long after your negotiation with the other camps, the women and children of Laketown came to the gates of Erebor. At Thorin’s request, you helped them get situated and comfortable. Being a human woman yourself, the king under the mountain knew you would be able to offer them some peace of mind.
You and Dori passed out blankets and pillows and food, making sure everyone got settled in the room Thorin had designated for them. It was tucked pretty far into the mountain, so he knew they’d be safe.
You spotted Sigrid and Tilda in there with their brother Bain, discussing something. Sigrid looked up and spotted you, smiling.
“Hey, glad you guys made it. Everything going okay?”
“We’re doing well,” Sigrid smiled. “Da said you warned him about the dragon. Thank you.”
“Yeah, of course. I…your whole town was so kind to us, I couldn’t imagine letting it happen without giving you some kind of warning.” You told her, handing the girls some blankets.
“What’s that bead in your hair?” Tilda asked, pointing to the silver band holding your braid together. “It’s new, right?”
“It’s a courting bead, from Kili.” You told her, smiling.
Sigrid gasped, excited. “Does that mean that you’re finally together?”
“At long last.” You confirmed, giggling. “Yeah, he’s…he’s amazing.”
“Is that him?” Tilda pointed to the doorway and sure enough, Kili was standing there, scanning the crowd for you.
You thought it was kind of funny. Among the dwarves, you’d always stood out like a sore thumb. You were the tallest of the company, just barely taller that Dwalin, and therefore, you’d been easy to spot among them, but now, surrounded by your own kind, he had some trouble seeing you.
“Over here.” You waved, drawing his attention.
He entered the room, walking to you and taking your hand. After a moment, he recognized Bard’s kids and nodded in greeting. “If you don’t mind too much, I need to borrow our Book Keeper, get her fitted for some armor.”
“Of course.” Sigrid smiled. “Congratulations, by the way.”
Kili straightened up a bit when she said it, proud. “Thank you.”
As the two of you walked to the forges, where the others were hard at work, he pulled your hand to his lips for a kiss.
He grinned mischievously and glanced over at you. “You told them?”
“Of course I did. I’m very proud to be yours, my prince.” You said it kind of teasingly. With the other dwarves and elves and men in Erebor for the battle, the formalities were a bit more important now than they had been during the rest of the journey, bit it still felt weird addressing him with his title.
His cheeks reddened. “You don’t have to call me that, you know.”
You winked. “I know.”
“Uncle wants me to wear a crown.” He sounded annoyed talking about it. “I don’t know, it just doesn’t feel like the time for that.”
“Things will calm down after tomorrow. Reach some kind of normalcy.”
“I hope you’re right.”
You shrugged. “I usually am. It’s part of my job.”
He chuckled and shook his head at you. The two of you walked into the armory, where Dwalin was anxiously waiting for you, large pieces of Smaug’s hide waiting on a table in front of him.
“Woah…” You murmured, looking at it. “That is…wild.”
“It’s quite tough. We tested some weapons against it and most of the blades can’t pierce it.” Dwalin agreed. “Our prince here has requested that your armor be made from it.”
“Oh.” You looked over at Kili. “He has, has he?”
He took your hand with both of his, pulling it to his chest and looking up at you with those warm brown eyes. “I want you to be protected, Amrâlimê. You insist on fighting alongside us tomorrow and I know I cannot change your opinion on it, but I need to know you’ll be safe.”
“I want you to be safe, too.”
“We’re reinforcing the company’s armor as well, at Thorin’s request.” Bofur informed you from the next stall over, holding a weapon so hot it was glowing bright red.
“Good.” That did make you feel quite a bit better.
“I need your measurements, lassie. Thought you might be more comfortable if your beloved did it.” He handed Kili a tape measure and a pad of paper and winked at the dwarf prince, who chuckled and walked with you to a more private corner.
It was sort of intimate in a weird kind of way, Kili taking measurements for your breastplate, the sleeves, the length of your shoulders. And when you were done, he relayed the information to Dwalin to make sure your armor would fit correctly.
Afterwards, the two of you left the armory.
“What does Thorin have you doing for the rest of the day?” Kili asked.
“I’m on Laketown duty with Dori. Making sure all the people are comfortable, bringing them food…”
“Mmm…” Kili nodded. “Do you have anything…pressing to be doing right now?”
“Not particularly.” You answered.
“Good.” Kili grabbed your wrist and pulled you into a small storage room in the hallway. He pushed you against the wall and crushed his lips to yours, passion in every movement. You always forgot how strong he was until moments like this.
You let his lips explore your own for a good long while, limbs mingling with each other’s bodies, your fingers wandering into his soft black hair. You knew you wouldn’t have many of these moments left. In fact, this might be your last one, so you made the most of it, kissing him in a way he wouldn’t soon forget. And once you each came down from the high of your love for one another, he spent a long, quiet moment admiring your features.
“I’ll never tire of that.” He whispered, gazing up at you. “Although, I hope that the moments we steal after the battle will last longer than this.”
You leaned down and kissed him, your lips soft and slow. He melted against you, his eyes fluttering shut as he stood on his toes to be able to reach them. You wrapped your arms around him, pulling him to you. It wasn’t often the two of you embraced while standing, and it was made clear why almost immediately, as Kili’s face only reached your chest, but he didn’t seem to care, his arms tight around your waist.
You rested your head against his, exhaling a long breath and just letting him hold you for a moment. “It’s going to be a long, long night, my love…” You murmured, pressing a kiss to his forehead.
He chuckled darkly. “It already is.”
“What does Thorin have you doing?” You asked.
“Weapon maintenance, mostly.” He shrugged. “He has Fili doing a lot more.” He looked up at you, fingers gently touching your courtship braid. “I sharpened your swords.”
Your heart just about melted. “Thank you.”
“I want to make you some new ones…when things settle, of course. Some daggers, too, if you want. I’m admittedly not a very good weaponsmith, but Dwalin’s offered to teach me. It’s a dwarf thing…crafting gifts for your One, especially while courting.”
You smiled. “That’s really sweet.”
“You think so?”
“I can’t wait to learn more. All of this is still new to me.”
“Of course it is…we dwarves love our secrets.” He took your hand and pressed a kiss to each of your fingers, one by one. “And I cannot wait to tell you each and every single one of them.”
You nuzzled your nose against his. “That makes two of us.”
***
Once the sun set, the mothers started getting their children ready for bed, but many of them had trouble getting their kids to sleep. Gandalf wandered into the room, smoking his pipe. With him, he had a small red book tucked under his arm.
“Book Keeper,” he smiled, that familiar glimmer in his eye. “I’ve brought you another. Thought a story might help get the young ones to bed.”
“Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs,” you read from the cover, chuckling. “Seems appropriate.”
Gandalf nodded. “Quite.”
You rounded up all the kids for a storytime and they sat expectantly in front of you, waiting for you to begin. “Now, this is a story from my realm. There are dwarves in it, sure, but they’re not a lot like the dwarves here in Middle Earth. Their names are a little silly; there’s one named Sneezy and another named Sleepy.” Some of the kids giggled at that.
“Is there a princess?” Asked a little voice.
“Of course there is. Her name is Snow White and she is the fairest in all the land.”
“How about a handsome prince? Is there one of those?” Fili’s voice asked from the back of the room, a smirk on his face.
“There does so happen to be a handsome prince, yeah.”
“Is he a dwarf?” Kili asked, taking a seat beside his brother.
“Unlike my own, no, he’s not, unfortunately.” You smirked at him. “Come here, you wanna help me read this?”
“I suppose I could.” Kili stumbled forward, getting a little push from his brother. “But only if I get to be Sneezy.”
You smiled as he sat beside you, looking over the cover of the little red book in your hand. As the two of you read the story to the children, alternating lines, he couldn’t help but do something he’d thought was impossible: somehow, he managed to fall even more in love with you.
***
After the kids were all asleep, Thorin called the company together one last time. You all stood in a circle, Gandalf finally with you all once again.
“Tomorrow is a fateful day for us all.” Thorin looked to each member of the group. He was wearing the crown of the king and looked extremely regal. He had been born for this, raised for it. You could only hope that you’d be able to protect the line of Durin when the battle finally arrived. Maybe it was the waiting that was the worst part.
You let out a sigh, closing your eyes. Kili took your hand and gave it a squeeze.
“Burglar, Book Keeper, thank you for everything you have done for us.” Thorin pressed his lips together. “This may be our last night as a company. I do not know what tomorrow holds for us, and for the sake of our confidence…” he made eye contact with you and you could tell that some part of him must have known, “I do not wish to have any more glimpses into our future.”
“Understood.” You nodded.
His closing words sent a chill down your spine. “Eat well. Get as much sleep as you can. Tomorrow, we defend our home.”
You settled between Kili and Fili, managing to get some food down despite the sinking feeling in your stomach. It was rather quiet, given the volume you’d come to expect from the group assembled around you. One last night with them…one last night together before your new life in a still-strange land would get turned upside down for better or worse.
Some of the dwarves played instruments they had, turning to music even in their darkest moments. Bifur was sitting in the corner of the room, carving something out of wood with his knife. You leaned on Kili, your head resting against his. You felt the warmth of his arm around your waist.
Unsure of what else to do, really, you pulled out the book one last time and skimmed the words about the battle. But that was the problem: there wasn’t much. Bilbo passed out in the version in your hands, was unconscious for the majority of the action and only came to when Fili and Kili were already dead and Thorin was dying from his wounds. Not particularly helpful.
You shook your head and shut the book. You gazed into the flames for a very long time, considering chucking it in there and watching it get devoured, but you decided against it. For one, it was your only copy, and for two, you weren’t sure exactly what was tying you to Middle Earth and you didn’t want to risk getting yeeted away early. So, instead, you got up off of the floor and walked across the room, handing it to Gandalf.
“You may yet need this.” He said, his eyes twinkling with something unrecognizable.
“There’s not a lot about the battle in it…”
He looked rather surprised. “There’s not?”
You paused for a long moment. “Gandalf…do you not know what’s in the book?”
“I’ll admit, I don’t know the specifics, dear.” He chuckled and blew his pipe. “I know the big things, sure, but not every detail.”
You stared at him for another long moment. “Okay…interesting. Anyway…will you hold onto it for me? Just in case?”
“Ah. For safekeeping.” He nodded and took the book from you. “I will see that it is returned to you promptly after the battle.”
“Thank you.” You turned and walked back to where you had been sitting before, where Kili was anxiously waiting for you. Before you could settle into your original spot, he pulled you onto his lap and pressed a long kiss to your cheek. You closed your eyes and basked in his warmth and the warmth of the fire.
You looked to each member of the company in attendance, the once-timid Bilbo, your future brother-in-law, the two who had taught you how to show Kili just how much he meant to you, the healer who had treated your dragon-inflicted wound, the quiet scribe who had been writing down every detail of the adventure. It went on and on. Each dwarf had put their own unique fingerprint on your heart.
Bifur walked up to you and muttered something in Khuzdul, handing you something small. When you examined it further, you found it to be a little wooden bird, the thing he had been carving the whole night.
“He said it’s for you, so you’ll remember him when you go back home.” Kili translated for you, his voice gentle and soft and a little sad.
“Oh, Bifur, it’s beautiful.” You choked back a sob and stood, hugging the gruff dwarf, who instantly returned the gesture. “I could never forget you.” You wiped your tears away. “I could never forget any of you. I’ll…I’ll treasure all of you for the rest of my life.”
You knew in your heart that was the truth. No matter what would unfold the next day, no matter where you wound up when it was all over, the company would live in your heart forever, you were sure. In fact, you didn’t think you could forget them if you wanted to. And you could only hope that when the battle came, you’d give them a reason to remember you, too.
***
When morning came, everyone was bustling through the lonely mountain, preparing for war. There was a nervous energy floating through the air. It was getting to you too. You couldn’t remember the last time your heart had been at its normal pace, but it had been racing all day.
Watching the dwarves armor up was surreal and haunting, especially watching Fili and Kili help each other into their armor. Dwalin carried your armor to you, glimmering and red, like the autumn leaves beyond the hills. You faltered, seeing it for the first time. Smaug had been evil, sure, but you couldn’t doubt the beauty in his scales. You could only hope they’d protect you now, that they’d protect all of you.
“Kili, get your beloved ready. The elf scouts have spotted something headed this way.” Dwalin called before leaving you to attend to other duties.
Kili immediately turned his attention to you, rushing over to help you into your armor. He guided your arms into the sleeves and fastened the straps in the back, his fingers moving quickly and expertly, securing it in place. It was pretty heavy, but you felt well-protected in it.
“How does that feel?” he asked, searching your face. “Too tight?”
“It feels good. Thank you.”
“Of course.” He nodded, his hand lingering in yours for a moment.
Tears welled in your eyes and his expression melted. He pulled your face down to his, resting his forehead against yours for a long moment. “Amrâlimê, I will be with you the entire time. Fili and I will not leave your side, I swear it.” He promised, pressing a kiss to your lips. “I will not let anything happen to you. None of us will.”
“I’m not worried about me.” Your voice broke and a tear slipped down your cheek.
His eyes met yours, his expression bittersweet. This was love, he felt it in his bones. Here, in the face of your first real battle, you were worried about him.
“Dwarves! Assume your stations!” Dain and his men walked briskly through the mountain, getting everyone ready.
You swallowed and closed your eyes, wiping at your tears and pulling away from Kili. Fili handed you your weapons, freshly sharpened and ready for battle, even if you weren’t.
“Nothing to worry about, Book Keeper,” the older prince reassured you, a hand on your shoulder and confidence in his voice. “We’ve got this.”
“I hope you’re right.”
You followed the rest of the company out of the mountain and onto the battlefield where, just as you’d predicted, the Orcs tunneled through the hills opposite you all, storming out in a mighty horde. Most were on foot, but some were on the backs of their wargs.
And thus, the battle began.
Because of your warnings in advance, there were forces ready in all the places you knew the Orcs were start, and more forces ready in the places the orcs would eventually reach. The elven archers took out a good number of them as they advanced, but more Orcs poured out of the tunnels and into the open field.
You followed Kili and Fili’s lead. They barely let any Orcs get to you, but the ones that did, you were quick to dispatch with your sword. It was intense, like everything was moving at two-times speed. You kept your eyes on the boys at all times, watching for anything that could possibly harm them. In the corner of your eye, you caught Thorin a few times and made sure he wasn’t getting hurt either.
You’d lost sight of Bilbo a long time ago, and the rest of the company was pretty well dispersed throughout the crowd.
“You…” A deep, gravelly voice hit your ears and your heart about leaped out of your chest.
Before you knew it, a large hand swung at you, taking you off of your feet. You skidded through the dirt, grimacing.
“(Y/N)!” Kili yelped, rushing towards you, but quickly pulled back by another large Orc.
“The little Book Keeper.” He laughed an awful laugh, towering over you in all of his horrific glory. “You do not belong here, human.”
“I keep hearing that, yeah.” You seethed, getting to your feet despite the blossoming bruises you could feel beneath your armor. “You must be Bolg.”
“In the flesh.”
“You didn’t hear about what happened to Smaug when he said that to me?” You asked, fire burning in your chest, tingling in your fingertips. “I’m wearing what’s left of him.”
“Confident for an Other Realmer. Such a shame to see it all go to waste for a miserable company of dwarves.” He chuckled. “Come with me instead. I could use your insight.”
“And just why the fuck would I do that?”
A blade pressed against your neck from behind, dangerously close to piercing the skin. You felt a strong, tree-like arm wrap around you and your feet left the ground. “In exchange for your life, perhaps?”
“NO!” Kili cried, killing three Orcs on his way to where you were standing, his brother beside him and his uncle not far behind.
Bolg paused, looking to where Kili stood, amused at the emotion on the dwarves’ face. He laughed cruelly. “This is more than concern for their prophet. This one loves you.”
Kili ran at Bolg, slicing through the armor on his thigh and piercing the skin. Bolg grabbed him by the neck and raised him up into the air to get a better look at him.
“And the prince, no less.” He plucked up Fili with his other hand, dangling both of them in the air in front of you, tiny and helpless, struggling against Bolg’s monstrous grip as he began slowly choking the life out of them. “The end of the line of Durin in my very hands.” He grinned, displaying his sharp teeth. “Tell me, girl, who will die first, the heir or the spare?”
“Neither.” You hissed, a hot tear winding down your face and that familiar, blistering power blooming inside you once more.
Thorin slayed the Orc holding you, and as soon as your feet touched the ground again, you thrust both of your hands forward at Bolg. The emotions poured out of your chest at the sight of Kili and Fili dying, their faces filled with pain, groans strained as he squeezed their vocal cords. The image of their funeral flashed in your mind one last time and something clicked inside you, unleashing hellfire upon Bolg and the rest of his wretched army.
For a moment, nothing happened, but then, a crater eroded in his chest, a blinding, golden light tearing him apart from the inside out. And in the same moment, the rest of the Orc army erupted into flame, the same fire you’d stolen from the dragon whose hide you were wearing as a chest plate.
“YOU WRETCHED LITTLE WITCHHHHH!” He hissed, dropping the brothers as he disintegrated before your very eyes, reduced to ash, his voice echoing into nothing, the only remnant that he had ever existed.
The battlefield went silent, the three remaining armies looking around after their opponents had literally disappeared while they watched. After the silence came their victorious cries. The battle was over, hardly any casualties had taken place aside from the attacking orcs.
You rushed to Kili, frantically checking him and his brother for injuries. “Kili! Oh my god. Are you okay?”
“I’m fine, Amrâlimê.” He assured you, his breathing heavy now that he was free. His voice was a little hoarse, but that seemed to be his only injury.
“Fili?”
The older prince smiled. “I’m okay, too.”
You exhaled a huge sigh of relief and looked back at Thorin, who nodded at you, uninjured. It felt like a million pounds lifted from your shoulders. They were alive. The battle was over and they were alive.
Another sigh pulled itself from your lungs and something shifted within you. You were dizzy, utterly exhausted. You swayed on your feet a bit, eyelashes fluttering.
“My love?” Kili whispered, concerned, his hand touching your arm.
“I’m okay,” you insisted before falling into his waiting arms, your legs giving out beneath you.
The dwarf prince lowered you to the ground gently, finding a soft patch of grass before he searched you for injuries. He didn’t see any blood, nowhere had your armor been pierced, and aside from a small cut on your cheek, you appeared to be fine. He pulled you into his lap, his arms cradling you.
Your breathing slowed, but your heart continued to race and tears were quick to begin trailing down your cheeks.
“What’s wrong? What’s going on?” Bilbo rushed over to you, appearing from thin air. The rest of the company slowly assembled around you. “Did she…do that?”
“I don’t know.” You told him. “I feel…I don’t think I’m injured, I just feel…floaty.”
“Get the girl some water.” Oin insisted.
“I can’t find a wound on her.” Kili told the medic, his voice getting thick with tears and desperation. “Please, tell me what’s wrong with her.”
“You will find no injury, Kili.” Gandalf walked through the crowd of humans and elves and dwarves. “She is quite alright. This is…” He shook his head. “Well, this is the end of the spell I used to bring her here. The magic has all been spent.”
“Oh.” You murmured. It made sense when he said it. You could feel it, the fact that you were slipping.
“Well do something! There must be some spell to keep her here! Please!” Kili’s voice broke and his eyes left Gandalf’s meeting your own as he cradled you closer. “Please, I can’t lose her.”
“It’s okay, Kili.” You told him, your hand reaching up to brush his cheek, for once wiping his tears away. “I…I served my purpose. You’re alive. Fili and Thorin are alive. The line of Durin is safe. You’re safe. I…I wrote my own ending.”
You heard some sniffles among the group, namely from Balin and Bofur, but there were tears glimmering in the eyes of Dori and Ori and Bombur as well.
“You can’t leave us yet, lass.” Bofur said, taking off his hat and staring down at you. “Before the feast? Before the celebration?”
You laughed softly, looking up at the hobbit and each dwarf standing there. Your very best friends. Your family. Your heart already ached when you imagined just how much you’d miss them in your world without magic. “It’s bad timing, isn’t it? I…I’m not ready yet. I’m not ready to go…”
“Stay.” Kili whispered, pulling your face to his, his lips tasting of his salty tears as he kissed you. “Please, stay with me. Please.”
Part of you expected his kiss to be magical, to halt the sinking, floating feeling inside your chest. You expected True Love’s Kiss to save you at the end of your fairytale, but it couldn’t. It seemed nothing could.
“I’m sorry.” You sobbed, trying to sit up so you could embrace him better. “I’m so sorry, Kili.”
“It’s not your fault.” Kili shook his head, pulling you into a more upright position and pressing his forehead to yours.
You felt a tingling numbness in your fingers, and when you looked down at your hand, you found that they were disappearing, breaking into glowing silvery light and floating up into the cloudy sky. “No.”
You looked up at the company, at Thorin, the new king under the mountain, at Bilbo and Gandalf, and each of the others. “S-stay out of trouble, you guys. All of you. I love you so much and…I’m going to miss you for…well, for the rest of my life.”
“Book Keeper…” Thorin spoke, his voice going soft as he knelt down beside you and his nephew on the ground. “(Y/N)…If there ever is a day you come back, you will always have a place in our halls. I meant it when I said you would make a great princess and I mean it when I say it would have been an honor to have you as my niece.”
More tears slipped down your cheeks and you took the hand he offered you. “And it would have been an honor to have you as my uncle.”
Fili approached next, a weepy look on his face as he pulled you into a hug, the disappearance now working its way up to your elbow making it a bit more difficult. “Thank you. For saving my life.”
“You knew—”
“I figured it out.” He shrugged, lowering you back into his brother’s arms. “I’ll never forget everything you’ve done for me. For us. Take care of yourself. Find a new adventure.”
“You guys were the greatest adventure I’m ever going to get.” You looked up at the hobbit. “It’s going to be an amazing book, Bilbo. I should know, it’s the one I’ve been reading the whole time.”
Bilbo gasped, his eyes widening. “My book?”
“Why else would it be called The Hobbit where I’m from?” You chuckled. “Although, I bet your version will turn out bit different than the one I’m familiar with.”
“I would never leave out the best character.” Bilbo wiped a tear from his cheek. “Although, I think I might write a happier ending for her, if it’s all the same to you.”
“I can’t wait to read it.” You looked up at Kili, who hadn’t stopped crying since he’d first started. “Hey, hey, it’s okay.”
“No it’s not.” He shook his head. “I…I was supposed to be the one that didn’t make it. You…”
“I’m going to be okay.” You promised him, your nose resting against his.
“That makes one of us.” He murmured. “You are my One, my other half. I can’t imagine going on without you here with me. I don’t want to.”
“Someday, I promise you, we’ll see each other again. This isn’t the end for us.” You whispered, kissing him fiercely and he reciprocated immediately, his lips passionate against yours. You linked the pinkie that hadn’t disappeared yet with his own.
“Y-you said once…if something was meant for you to have, it would find you again.” He tightened his finger around yours until it started to disappear, too. “I swear to you, I will find you again.”
You nodded, whispering the words you’d been reciting in your mind for so long, just in case this was the outcome of your adventure after all. “I love you, Amrâlimê.”
You continued to vanish as the company watched. The last thing you felt of Middle Earth was a pair of lips against your own and the warmth of your lover’s arms around you.
And then everything went white.
***
When you opened your eyes, you were standing on your front porch in your pajama pants again. The sun shone bright in your eyes, birds chirping up in the trees, and the slightest breeze blowing through your hair.
You blinked a few times, looking around you to ground yourself. You were back home, except…it didn’t really feel like home anymore. You weren’t sure it ever would again.
Blinking away tears, you turned around and walked inside, half-expecting to wind up right back in Bilbo’s hobbit hole, but no, it was just your living room waiting on the other side of the threshold. You walked out the front door again, desperate, but had no luck. The only thing beyond that was your front porch again.
“No…” You mumbled, leaning against the wall before sliding down it, hiding behind your knees. “No, no, no…please…please! Take me back! Gandalf, please…”
You expected something magical to happen, for someone to appear from thin air and comfort you, but for the first time in about six months, you were left completely alone. It was the same day you’d left, only minutes after you’d first gone, and yet every moment you’d spent away was real and tangible. You remembered everything. Every hour of every day, the vast majority of them spent at Kili’s side.
The tears wouldn’t stop flowing, and you feared they never would, not so long as you were locked out of Middle Earth.
As you sat there, questioning everything your life had become, you couldn’t help but question if it had really even happened at all. Maybe it had just been an intense hallucination. After all, nothing around you had changed. But then, you caught a glimpse of something glimmering in your hair.
Kili’s courting bead, the very one he had spent so long making for you, was still carefully braided into your hair.
And your heart broke all over again. It was real and so was he. And so was the little wooden bird tucked in your pocket, Bifur’s parting gift. You sat there with both of them for a long time, staring at them, feeling them in your hands and forcing yourself to believe that you could go back. That one of these times you closed your eyes, you would be in Erebor again.
It took about an hour for you to get back on your feet and walk inside, only to collapse onto the couch, something inside of you deeply broken in a way you weren’t sure could ever be fixed.
The days passed slowly at first, each one a new burden, heavy and unstable. The hours seemed to crawl by. You had constant headaches from crying so much and you had trouble sleeping. When you did manage to get some rest, you had dreams of the company, of hiking with the dwarves, chatting with Bilbo, kissing Kili one last time. And then you’d wake up and relive the heartbreak all over again.
After a few weeks, it seemed to get a little easier. None of your friends knew why you were so heartbroken and you didn’t know how to begin to explain it to them, so you didn’t, and they never asked.
You got back to writing and, Gandalf had been right, your adventure had sparked something. You knew exactly what the story needed: a dwarf prince.
You’d finished the book in record time, poured all your energy into it. You’d hired an editor to clean it up for you, got the interior formatted, and commissioned a cover from an artist online. And then, a few weeks after that, it was in your hands and available online. It helped fill the hole in your heart the tiniest bit.
After about a month, you went with your friends to a comic con. You knew there’d be Lord of the Rings stuff there, and you knew you wouldn’t really be able to avoid it. You didn’t expect, however, for one of the first tables in the Artist Alley to have portraits of Kili, Fili, and Thorin right at the front of their display.
“You’re really in a Lord of the Rings mood lately, huh?” Your friend Conner asked when he caught your eyes lingering on them.
You shrugged, unable to explain to them exactly what had sparked it. “The Hobbit, but yeah, I have. Couldn’t tell you why…”
Obviously, you bought all three prints, and obviously you bought a poster of Erebor a few stalls later and obviously you cried in the car on the way home and put them up on your bedroom walls as soon as you arrived. Maybe it would hurt a little to see Kili’s face every day, but you’d been sad every day since then anyway, at least now you’d be able to see him.
Some sense of normalcy had returned to your life, sure. You were able to make it through a few days at a time without bursting into tears, but you knew, no matter how much time passed, not a single one would without you thinking of him in some way, shape, or form.
He, like the rest of the party, had left a handprint on your heart, a tattoo in your mind that would never fade, whether or not you wanted it to.
***Six Months Later***
It was now, finally, your twenty-fourth birthday. Snow was falling outside and your friends were beginning to arrive for a birthday party. It helped to have people there. You didn’t want to just be celebrating alone with only your thoughts for company. So, instead, you purchased plenty of pizza, plenty of adult beverages and fun alternatives for your non-drinking friends, which of course included black cherry cream soda. You had a banging birthday playlist going, some fun movies playing in the other room, and lots of snacks in the kitchen.
You were wearing a short-ish silver dress and had done your makeup for once. The bead Kili had given you so long ago was on a chain around your neck. It was hard trying to do the courtship braids without help, so you’d given up on them, instead choosing to wear it as a necklace. It didn’t mean anything to the people around you anyway. They didn’t know the power it held.
“Hey birthday girl!” One of your college friends, Chelsea, said, coming in through the door with a veggie tray and a gift bag. “Brought you some accessories.”
“Oh did you, now?”
Inside the bag, there was a sash and a crown that both said Birthday Princess on them. You chuckled, slipping the sash over your head and perching the crown in your hair. Ironic, you thought. Well, at least now you looked the part.
“Is this mead? Why do you have mead?” asked Ethan, who was standing in the doorway to the kitchen, laughing and reading the label on the bottle. “Where did you even get this?”
“One of the party stores had it.” You shrugged. “It’s like wine but sweeter.”
“Huh.” He poured himself a glass and you sipped the same drink from the solo cup in your hand. It was blueberry flavored and very good. Perhaps not as good as the kind the elves in Rivendell had served, but good nonetheless.
More friends kept arriving. You all chatted in the living room, beneath strobing LED lights, vibing to the music on your party playlist.
“What’s on your necklace?” Your friend Cianna asked, taking note of the bead around your neck.
“Oh, a friend gave it to me a while back. It’s an emerald.”
“It’s pretty.”
You nodded and touched it gently. “Thanks.”
Eventually, once everyone you’d invited was accounted for and you’d all had your share of pizza, your friend Natalie prepared the birthday cake, poking a bunch of candles into its surface and lighting them after. And yet, just before they could sing and before you could even dare to make a wish, there was a knock on the door.
Phil walked to the door, a party had on his head, and pulled it open, staring for a long moment before saying. “Uhhhhh, (Y/N), did you hire a bunch of cosplayers?”
“No, why…?” You blew out the candles without a thought and stood up from the table, cautiously walking towards the door, followed by the rest of your group.
“Um, hello, we’re looking for (Y/N) (L/N)…is she here?”
Your heart raced. You’d recognize that voice anywhere.
“Bilbo???” You peered out the door, and sure enough, a hobbit and crowd of dwarves stood there, all clamoring to see into the house. Ori was looking through the window and waved excitedly when you spotted him. Except…he was taller than you remembered. They all seemed to be, in fact.
“Bilbo Baggins?” Chelsea murmured in awe. “THE Bilbo Baggins???”
Phil stepped aside, still looking for the words to say, but none came. He’d been expecting another pizza guy or something, not…this.
“What are you guys…How did you…?” You were flabbergast. You had to be hallucinating. It simply was not possible. You blinked a few times and looked at your friends, who were all, seemingly, seeing what you were. “C-come on in.”
Bilbo walked in, taking off his scarf. There was snow caught in his hair and his cheeks were rosy from the cold. You wondered how long they’d been out there, or, rather, how far they’d traveled to get to your front door.
Pushing past the others, Kili was the next to enter the house, rushing straight up to you and collecting you in his arms, his lips capturing your own. You melted at his touch, falling back into all of the emotions you’d been refraining from feeling for the past several months. His kiss drew a hum from your throat, his arm wrapping tight around your waist.
When he finally pulled away, his hand wandered up to your face, brushing the stray hairs out of your eyes. He took you in for all that you were in this realm and though you looked a bit different from the way you’d appeared in Middle Earth, it was indeed the same Book Keeper behind those eyes. He’d know his One anywhere, even in a realm beyond his own.
“Happy birthday, Amrâlimê. You look beautiful.” His finger touched the tip of your ear, which was no longer pointed, and was instead, the smaller, rounded human ear you’d grown up with. He laughed softly, amused. “Your ears are so small.”
“Kili, I…” You giggled in disbelief, looking up at him for the first time ever. “How are you here?”
“Gandalf dropped us off down the street.” Fili explained, kicking off his snow-covered boots and setting his swords on the floor. “Said he’ll be back with his present later.”
“He also said the rules of your realm may affect us the way our realm affected you.” Thorin explained, much taller than you’d seen him last. “Which seems to be the case, Book Keeper.”
“I…see that.” Thorin was even taller than Kili was, as opposed to his previous height of just past your shoulder. He looked even more regal this way, you decided.
“I’m sorry, what is going on?” Cianna asked, looking from one dwarf to the next.
“Did the lass not tell you about her big adventure?” Bofur teased, carrying a small bag with him. “You forgot your camera in Middle Earth.”
“Right.” You chuckled, taking the bag he handed you. “Forgot about that.”
“And your photos. I’ve organized them for you.” Dori handed them to you in a stack.
The rest of the dwarves filed into the house as your friends looked on in wonder and confusion, waiting for some kind of explanation.
“So uh…to make a long story short, about six months ago, Gandalf came by and swept me off on an adventure. And I kind of, uh…stole Smaug’s fire and used it to wipe out the orcs in the Battle of Five Armies. And fell in love with Kili. And then when I got back, it was like no time had passed at all, Narnia style.”
“That’s the abridged version.” Bilbo said, grinning.
“You know…that kind of explains a lot.” Conner said, thinking back on all the merch you’d bought at comic con. This was, perhaps, why you had cried when you found action figures of Kili and Fili in one of the bins full of toys at said comic con.
“You still have it.” Kili whispered, a finger carefully touching the bead hanging around your neck. “I-I thought…”
“I forgot how to do the braid.” You confessed. “I didn’t want it to fall out.”
He kissed you again, softer this time. “Well, it’s a good thing I’m here, then.”
Natalie pointed to the cake, the candles of which you’d just blown out. “Um, we have birthday cake. There’s ice cream, too.”
“Well why didn’t you say so?” Bofur laughed, walking towards the cake.
“What’s ice cream?” Ori asked, following him.
Balin walked up to you and took your hand as he passed. “Happy Birthday, lass. Good to see you.”
“Thank you, Balin.” You laughed. “You have no idea how good it is to see you guys.”
“Where’s the ale, lassie?” Dwalin draped a heavy arm around your shoulders. He was impossibly tall at human height.
“Have you ever had a margarita?” You asked, mischievous.
“Can’t say I have.”
“Come on.” You took Kili’s hand and led him, Dwalin, and Fili to the kitchen, where you and Cianna started serving up drinks.
Kili stopped at the counter, where he noticed the bottles of black cherry cream soda. He smiled softly and grabbed two, one for himself and one for you. When you abandoned the bar and walked back out to the living room with Kili, the dwarves were mingling with your friends, getting acquainted with one another.
You spotted your friend Taylor across the room teaching Bofur and Bifur how to play ping pong. Ori was in the other room watching whatever movie was on the TV. You were pretty sure it was Tangled. Gloin was scolding Nori for attempting to pocket something while Dori showed Phil and Conner the stack of photos from your Polaroid, telling stories of your adventure. Thorin was standing in the corner with Dwalin and Balin, sipping from a red solo cup, a sight you never saw you’d see. Meanwhile, Chelsea was chatting with Bilbo, asking him everything under the sun about the Shire.
Fili sat on the armchair next to the couch, his feet resting on the ottoman in front of it. “Nice place, Book Keeper.”
“You think so?”
“It’s cozy.” Kili agreed, removing your birthday princess crown for a moment before detangling your hair with the comb he always seemed to have tucked in his pocket. He set to work, putting the courting braid back in your hair, where it was meant to be.
You undid the clasp holding your necklace together and slipped the bead from the chain, handing it to him carefully so he could fasten it to the end of the braid once again. Once it was done, he carefully set the plastic crown back on top of your head.
He leaned in and kissed your cheek and then your lips, lingering against them for a long moment.
“I missed you.” You told him, touching your nose to his. “I was starting to think…I might not ever see you again.”
“How long has it been for you?” Fili asked.
“About six months. It’s been…really hard.” You shook your head. “I was starting to think the whole thing had been in my head…”
Kili frowned. “It’s…only been a few weeks in Erebor. The victory celebrations have barely dwindled.”
It felt like he’d stolen the breath from your lungs. For you, half a year had passed and for them, it hadn’t even been a month? The time travel stuff would never make sense to you, not entirely.
“Wow, that’s…” You shook your head. “Wow.”
Kili took both of your hands, serious all of a sudden. “I cannot imagine what that must have been like for you. Every day without you felt like an eternity. But I intend to make up for every moment.”
“Good.” You kissed him again, interrupted by a tap on your shoulder. You turned to find Natalie leaning over the back of the couch, her eyes locked on Thorin across the room. “Oh hey, what’s up?”
“That’s Thorin, right? Over there in the fur.”
“Thorin Oakenshield, in the flesh. He’s king under the mountain now. And he did not die in the Battle of Five Armies, so he’s got that going for him.” You assured her, twisting the cap off of your cream soda. You couldn’t help but smirk a little. You knew the look on her face and…you couldn’t say you blamed her.
“Uh-huh. Cool. And he’s…single, right?”
Fili choked on his drink and Kili let out a hearty laugh, thoroughly amused.
“Yeah, he is.”
Natalie downed the rest of her drink and adjusted her hair. “Alright good. I’m going in.”
You saluted her as she walked away. “Godspeed.”
“Uncle is that well-known here?” Fili asked, watching her go.
“Only to the nerds, but…we’re all nerds here.” You chuckled. “You three are…very popular among The Hobbit fans, especially the women.”
A smile snuck across Fili’s face. “I am too?”
“Yes, you are, Fili.”
There was a final knock at the door and you stood, walking to answer it. You were unsurprised to find Gandalf there, a proud look on his wise features.
“Quite the party here, Book Keeper.” He said, stepping inside, a book tucked under his arm. “I apologize for my tardiness. I had a meeting with a lion run a bit longer than expected.”
You stared at him for a long time before blurting, “Are you…talking about Aslan?”
That mischievous gleam appeared in his eyes once more. “Oh yes, Aslan and I are old friends. I needed his help putting the finishing touches on your gift.” He handed the book to you. “Happy birthday, dear.”
“Thank you.” The book in your hands was your own, the copy of the Hobbit you’d left in Middle Earth.
He winked. “Check the back cover.”
You took his advice and opened to the back of the book, where a necklace was tucked. It was silver and circular, several symbols along the edge of it and three emeralds embedded in its surface in a triangle. It buzzed with an unfamiliar power. “Woah…”
“This, dear Book Keeper, is a Charm of Return. I needed special permission to acquire it, but it will allow you to travel to either realm as you please. I’m sorry it took me so long to get it to you, but it took quite some time to convince the Council to grant my request.”
You hugged him tightly, your heart racing. “I don’t know how to thank you. This is…”
“It is I that owes you, dear, not the other way around. You have done immeasurable good for Middle Earth, and…come sixty years from now, I may need your expertise once more.” He looked around the room. “These friends of yours wouldn’t happen to be in need of an adventure, would they? I’m sure there are a handful of hobbits, an elf prince, a dwarf, and a few men that could use some guidance and I doubt you’d be able to be in all of those places at once…”
You laughed. “I think a lot of them would be very interested in that offer.”
“I will keep them in mind.” He tipped his hat. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, it seems your friend is in need of some help at the ping pong table. Two against one is hardly fair, especially where Bifur is concerned.”
Gandalf walked away and Kili stood at your side again. When you felt his presence, you looked down out of habit, but he guided your chin up instead, laughing. It was, decidedly, odd being taller than you. He didn’t necessarily mind, but he was pretty sure he preferred your height difference the other way around.
“What did he give you?”
“My book. And an enchanted necklace.” You told him, your arms looping around his neck, resting on his shoulders. “Our relationship is no longer long-distance.”
He tugged you closed to him, a strong arm around your waist as he dipped you back, exploring your lips for a long moment before pulling you upright again. “Good, because I much prefer having you close to me, Amrâlimê.”
You reached up to touch his face, your thumb grazing his stubble. Honestly, you were still trying to convince yourself that he was there, that he was real and not merely a dream, as he had been for the past six months. But no matter how many times you blinked, he was still there, his leather and campfire and pine scent just as strong as you remembered it to be, his warmth vivid and real. “Me too.”
“You keep looking at me like you’re afraid I’ll disappear.” He whispered, his voice a bit sad, his eyes searching your own for some hint of what you were feeling.
You teared up a bit. “I kind of am.”
“Oh ghivashel…” He pulled you to his chest, one of his hands cradling your head, gently petting your hair in an attempt to reassure you that this was real, that he wasn’t going anywhere anytime soon. He pressed a long kiss to the crown of your head. “I swore to you once that I’d find you again. Now that I’ve found you…I swear to you, I’m never going to lose you again.”
“Promise?” You asked, your voice wobbly.
He pulled away and offered you his pinkie, a tearful smile on that handsome face of his. You linked your pinkie with his, locking the promise.
Ethan peeked out of the other room. “Hey, (Y/N), can you hook up the Switch? I have to kick…” He looked behind him and asked. “Sorry, what’s your name?”
“I’m Ori.”
“I have to kick Ori’s butt at Just Dance.”
You laughed. “Oh absolutely.”
You helped connect your Switch to the TV, and as you did so, you couldn’t help but notice Thorin and Natalie stepping up to the ping pong table opposite Taylor and Bofur. Yeah, something about that felt right, too.
“Now, what is this Switch of yours?” Fili asked, looking on with curiosity as you switched the cords around before, finally, the menu popped onto the TV screen. The dwarves in the room made noises of awe.
“Remember how I told you about video games? This is that.”
You took a seat on the couch beside Kili and handed one of the controllers to Ethan, who showed Ori, Dori, and Nori how to play while the rest of the dwarves gathered around, interested to see how it worked.
You draped an arm around Kili’s shoulders and rested your legs atop his. Kili’s hand settled on your thigh and he stared at you, obsessed with the proximity after weeks of being apart. He thought you looked so beautiful in your glittering silver dress, your birthday princess crown and sash.
“What?” You asked, catching him staring at you.
He kissed your cheek, his arm wrapping around your waist. “It just…doesn’t feel real. Being here. I’ll admit, I never thought I’d get to come to your realm.”
“What do you think?”
“It’s very different than I’m accustomed to, but I think it definitely explains a lot about you. I like it, of course, but I’m not sure I could ever adjust to living here, not fully.”
“It’d be quite the learning curve.” You agreed. “That’s how I felt with Middle Earth, in the beginning. It felt…unreal. Every morning I expected to wake up back in my bed, like it had all been some fantastical dream, and…once I came back here, I kept expecting to wake up there instead.”
“You belong to both.” He tucked a piece of hair behind your ear, still half-expecting it to come to a point.
You nodded. “I belong to both.” Your hand wandered to the enchanted necklace around your neck. “And now I can.”
After a few rounds of Just Dance, one of your friends put in MarioKart instead, attempting to explain the game to Fili, who showed an interest in the racing game. Seeing the opportunity to step away for a moment, Kili looked at you and asked, “Can you show me your room?”
“Yeah, of course.” You stood up and took his hand, leading him through the living room, down the hall, and into your room.
He looked around, curious. His eyes lingered on every poster adorning your walls for a moment before stopping on the prints you’d gotten at comic con. All in a row, you had portraits of himself, his brother, and his uncle, and above them, there was a poster of Erebor, bathed in mist.
“Where did you get these?” He asked, staring at them.
“At a convention I went to this year.” You shrugged. “Reminded me of home. I left all my pictures there, so things like this are the only way I can really see it.”
“Home…” He repeated the word, nodding. “It’s been hard sleeping without you at my side. Our bed feels empty without you.”
Your heart leapt when he said it. Our bed. You took a step closer to him, stepping into his warmth. His hand rose to your cheek, pulling you in for a long, slow kiss. He had to crane his neck down in order to reach your lips, which caused him to chuckle.
“What?” You asked, amused.
“Is this what it’s like when you try to kiss me?” He asked, looking down at you from his elevated human height. You figured he was probably about six feet tall like this. Thorin and Dwalin were even taller yet, wherever they were in your house with your friends.
“Yeah, pretty much.” You stood on your toes and kissed him again. “I can’t say I mind, though.”
“I suppose I never asked how you felt about it. About the distance between us.” He sat on the bed, pulling you towards him so you were standing between his legs in a way that more accurately mimicked your usual height difference. “You don’t care? Even the human men in my world are usually taller than their beloveds…”
“I couldn’t care less.” You poked his nose with the tip of your finger. “You’re a dwarf, Kili. Your height is part of who you are, and…I love every piece of you. I don’t care how tall you are compared to me, all I care about is you.”
You settled on his leg, pulling his arms around you and pressing another passionate kiss to his lips. He kissed you hungrily, like he had been the one waiting six months to do so opposed to the other way around. When you separated, he rested his forehead against yours and took a long breath.
“Would you like your birthday present now?”
“You got me a present?” You asked.
“Of course I did, ghivashel.” He nuzzled his nose against yours and reached into his pocket, pulling out a small wooden box, which had been painted forest green.
He handed it to you, his arms wrapping tightly around your waist as you opened it, only to find a claddagh ring, very similar to the one that had been turned into the bead braided into his hair. Instead of hands on either side of the emerald, however, there were tiny silver leaves, like the ones he’d worked into your courting bead. It truly was gorgeous. You could tell he’d made it himself, which only made you love it more.
With careful hands, he slid the ring onto your right ring finger so the heart was upright, signifying that you were in a relationship. He pressed a long kiss to your cheek. “I’ve been wanting to do that since you told me what your ring meant that night in the goblin cave.” He admitted, his voice soft and deep. “I’d just stare at your ring and think about how badly I wanted to flip it over, to call you mine. And someday…I want to be the one who gets to move it to your other hand.”
“I want that too.” You assured him, whispering against his lips.
“I didn’t know Gandalf was going to bring us here when I started working on it. I just…needed something to distract me from the hole in my heart.” He kissed your forehead and then your cheek and then your lips. “They’re calling you the Emerald Princess of Erebor back home.”
“Are they?” You asked, amused. “I’ll admit, it has a ring to it.”
“Among your other titles, of course. Book Keeper, Fire Stealer, Realm Traveler, Orc Burner…” He searched your face before adding, “You’re a hero, you know. To all of us. When it was looking like you might not be back…Uncle was in the process of commissioning a statue of you, especially once he found out it wasn’t just my life you’d saved.”
“So he knows, then.”
“We all do.” Bilbo was standing in the doorway of your room. He took a look around. “It’s nice in here. Sorry to interrupt, ah, the others are beginning to tell stories to your friends and we thought you might like to be present for that. Also, there’s only one slice of cake left and Bofur said you two haven’t had any yet.”
“Thank you, Bilbo.” You smiled and stood up.
“Is that the Shire?” Bilbo pointed to a poster hanging on your wall. His eyes narrowed at it, examining it further. “Is that my house?”
“Yeah, it is.”
He pointed to a print of Frodo and Sam and Merry and Pippin. “Who are they?”
“Well, that one is your nephew. Technically, I guess, he’s your cousin, but you two call each other nephew and uncle. He’s…he’s going to do great things someday.”
“Huh.” Bilbo nodded, leading you and Kili back down the hall to where the others were all congregating in the living room.
Some had gotten refills of some their drinks, and some of the dwarves were trying the human snacks they’d found in your kitchen. Dori was trying to convince Ori to try a margarita, but he insisted that he didn’t like green food and that also applied to green beverages.
Bofur handed you a paper plate, upon which was the last slice of birthday cake, and two plastic forks. He winked. “Thought you might share with your beloved.”
“Thank you, Bofur.” You and Kili settled into the spot that was left for you in the makeshift circle that had formed in the living room.
Gandalf was perched on a chair in the corner of the room, on the edge of the group, as he often was. Fili had a bit of frosting caught in his beard as he ate the second to last slice of cake.
“Is it good?” You asked, laughing softly.
“It’s fantastic, Book Keeper.”
“I’m glad.” You handed Kili the other plastic fork.
Kili broke off a piece of cake and held his fork in front of your mouth. You ate from it playfully. It was nice, getting to be domestic with him, given that so much of your time together thus far had been on the road, weaving in and out of danger.
“So…” Chelsea pressed, your human friends all waiting anxiously to hear about your time in Middle Earth. “What was it…like?”
“Anything specific or just in general?” You asked for clarification.
“In general, I guess.”
“It was…everything I could have imagined.” You shrugged. “Like, the movies don’t even begin to do it justice, Middle Earth. We started in the Shire, at Bilbo’s, travelled to Rivendell, through Mirkwood, through Laketown, to Erebor. It took a long time, not just the nine hours that are on screen. Like, the book is just the cliffnotes, you know? Being there, doing it…It was spectacular. Scary sometimes, sure, but I think it was worth it.”
“What’s your scar from?” Taylor pointed to the long, jagged mark running up your arm. “Was it actually from dog-sitting or…?”
“A goblin got me, but that’s not even the big one.” You chuckled and stood, pulling up the skirt of your dress the tiniest bit, showing off the large mark left from the dragon’s talons. “Smaug did that.”
“Holy shit…” One of your friends murmured.
“The little scar on my cheek is, surprisingly, the only one I got during the Battle of Five Armies, but that one healed up so well, it’s hard to even see it.” You sat back down next to Kili.
“Meet anyone cool?” Ethan asked.
“Most of them are in attendance.” You replied, and the dwarves chuckled. “I did meet Legolas briefly. And Elrond. And we stayed with Bard for a bit; his kids were really nice. Also Thranduil is like…kinda mean.”
“He is an acquired taste, that is for certain.” Gandalf piped up from the corner. “Not entirely unreasonable, though.”
“What was your favorite part of the trip, lass?” Bofur asked, that mischievous twinkle in his eye.
“If that isn’t a loaded question…” You chuckled, shaking your head. “I honestly…I feel like there are too many to count. There were a lot of moments that really stuck out to me and I loved them all in different ways for different reasons; staying at Beorn’s, riding in the barrels down the river, the party at Laketown…” You took Kili’s hand and he gave yours a squeeze. “Obviously, I’m not single anymore, so I loved every moment that led up to that, as well, and…all of the moments since then, too.”
The group sat there for a while, reminiscing, telling stories. Balin recounted the moment you stole Smaug’s fire. Bofur told them all how wasted you’d been at the aforementioned party in Laketown. Fili recalled when he’d spotted you outside their cells in Mirkwood, disguised as an elf guard and Dwalin bragged that you’d stood up Legolas at the Festival of Starlight that night, managing to trick every elf you passed, including their prince.
“I have a story.” Kili spoke after a while, and everyone piped down, eager to see what he had to say. “So, that first night in the Shire, shortly after Thorin arrived, Gandalf informed us that there would be a mysterious fifteenth member of the company. He said fifteen was a lucky number and that, in addition to our Burglar, we were in need of a Book Keeper to…keep the record straight, or something of the sort. And I thought to myself, we have Ori for that, he’s a scribe, what more could we possibly need to keep the record of the adventure? We waited for a bit. Waited a little longer. And then I hear this little voice in the distance, down the hall and around the corner. Didn’t think much of it.”
You listened carefully. In all your time together, he’d never told you what was going through his head the moment you’d met.
“So Gandalf sends me to get her. Up until then, we didn’t even know she was a woman, which was a bit of an upset among the company. I wasn’t anywhere near the door, so I wasn’t quite sure why he’d sent me of all dwarves, but I stood and walked out of the room and down the hall and when I turned the corner and I…I saw her standing there, looking very lost and something happened, then. It was like she was glowing, this stunning, beautiful woman, and the first word out of her mouth is my name.” He chuckled and shook his head, squeezing your hand. “I’m sure I stood there, gaping at you like an idiot for a good, long time before finally asking if I’d met you before because surely, I would have remembered if we had. As it turned out, she’d come from an entirely different realm to help us.”
You caught a proud look on Thorin’s face, amusement in those blue eyes of his.
“I remember that tense moment after she was finally introduced to the company. I didn’t know whether or not Uncle would let her come along on the journey and, if he didn’t and she went back home after journeying so far to get to us…Even then, I knew she’d be taking half of my heart with her if she left.”
“Awwww…” Natalie pouted.
“But he let her come. And…I know for a fact that I wouldn’t be sitting here with all of you if she hadn’t.”
“And the rest is history.” Fili said, grinning.
“I’ve got a question.” Gloin said, holding up a copy of your book that had been lying on the coffee table. “What’s this, lassie? The Prince and the Prophet?”
“That’s my novel. I finished it when I got back, published it a few months back.”
“You just casually published a novel?” Bilbo asked, thoroughly impressed. “Is it that easy in this realm?”
“It takes time, sure, but actually getting it out there is kind of easy in this realm, depending on how you go about it.” You shrugged.
“Let me see.” Kili held out his hand and Gloin tossed it to him. He looked at the cover and he couldn’t help but notice the resemblance he and the love interest shared, right down to the height difference with the main character. “Second in line for the throne, first in line for her heart.” He read the tagline and his cheeks reddened.
“Well that sounds familiar, doesn’t it?” Fili joked, taking the book from his brother’s hands and holding it up so the others could see it side by side. “Kind of looks familiar too. Huh.”
“I knew it!” Phil pointed, triumphant. “I fucking knew it!”
“Ohhhhhh. Kili. Killian. I get it.” Cianna agreed, and everyone in attendance laughed.
Kili laughed in disbelief, his face right in front of yours. “You named him Killian?”
“As they say, write what you know.” You laughed, shielding your face by taking a sip from your drink. “I needed something to bury myself in. Try to fill in the hole in my heart a little bit, you know?”
Kili pressed a long kiss to your cheek. “All too well, Amrâlimê.” He raised an eyebrow, mischievous. “Do you think I could have a copy? Being your muse and all, I think it’s only fair.”
“Of course you can.” You laughed.
“Are there any mentions of the heir to the throne, Book Keeper? Prince Fillian, perhaps?” Fili asked and your friends all cracked up.
“No, of course not, that would be ridiculous.” You scoffed. “His name is Finnian and he has an intense passion for musical theater.”
The company erupted into laughter. You took a long moment to look around the room. It was like that last night before the battle in a way. You knew the magic of this night was limited. Once it was over, you’d never have this feeling again, this swirl of nostalgia and camaraderie and home, the mix of both of your homes together. Sure, now you had the ability to go back and forth, but you weren’t sure you’d ever get to have them all together in one room again. Only time would tell.
Hours later, the party finally ended. You had lots of help cleaning up, and your friends slowly started leaving to go back to their homes, unsure if when they woke this crazy night would be more than a dream. Some of the dwarves left as well, escorted by Gandalf out the front door and back to Middle Earth.
Once you finally had the place in a relatively normal state and you, Gandalf, Bilbo, and the Durins were the only ones left, you felt Kili’s presence behind you, warm and close. You turned into his arms, resting your head against his chest. He pressed a long kiss to your forehead and then murmured against your hairline the words you had been waiting to hear all night, “Come, Amrâlimê. Let’s go home.”
***
The celebrations in Erebor when you returned were unlike anything you’d ever experienced before. Dwarves, Elves, Men, and a wizard and a hobbit and a Book Keeper all celebrating together, one last time before they’d all go back to their own settlements and move on with their lives.
The men, Bard had told you, were considering moving to Dale from Laketown, in order to be closer to Erebor for trading with the Dwarves. Many of the dwarves that had come to fight alongside the company were staying, too, to help restore Erebor to its former glory. A lot of work had to be done to get it to that point, Thorin had told you. Especially since a dragon had torn his way through the place to escape the woman who’d stolen his fire.
Speaking of Thorin, he’d granted you a title and a gilded emerald circlet to go along with it, declaring you as an honorary Princess of Erebor, although given your relationship to his nephew, you would have married into that title soon enough anyway. And these days, you weren’t the only princess in Erebor. Dís, Kili and Fili’s mother, had made the journey in your absence, joining the rest of her family in their ancestral home. She had been incredibly kind to you and had welcomed you to the family immediately. Her brother and sons trusted you like their own, so she did, too, especially once she heard everything you’d done for them.
Slowly but surely, the Lonely Mountain was becoming less and less lonely, abuzz with people, the smithing industry up and running again, and every torch lit with warm light.
After another week, Bilbo decided it was finally time to go home. He and Gandalf prepared for the return journey. Bilbo wanted to slip out unnoticed, but the company caught word of it and gathered one last time to see him off at the gate.
“If any of you are ever passing Bag End…Tea is at four. There’s plenty of it…You are welcome anytime.” Bilbo said, his eyes sincere, and his voice wavering.
The dwarves all bowed to him one final time, each of their eyes glassy with tears.
“You’ll have to come back to visit someday.” You said, a tear trickling down your cheek, the pink light of sunrise flushing the scene with warmth and beauty. “For the wedding.”
Bilbo’s eyes softened and he took a step forward. You knelt down to the ground so he could give you one last hug before leaving for the Shire after all this time. He whispered in your ear, “I wouldn’t miss it for the world, Book Keeper.”
He started to walk away, stopped only by Thorin, who followed him up the path for a more private goodbye. Kili wiped a tear from his cheek and turned you towards him, gazing up at you as he had so many times before. “This is it, isn’t it? This is the end of the story?”
“It’s the end of the book, sure, but…” you shook your head, “it’s not the end of the story. It…well, to me, it feels like the beginning of a new one, except this time…I have no idea what’s coming next.”
Kili pulled you down to his level, pressing a long kiss to your lips. “We’ll find that out together, Amrâlimê, one page at a time…”
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kittenfangirl20 · 2 months
Note
Queen Adam Au Part 9
Adam and Lucifer love their kids, don't get them wrong. But 8 children all under the age of 13 at home full time for the summer was getting to be a little much.
Especially when they would fight with each other.
For the most part the kids got along, but Lyra, Lydia, Luke and Avery were all nearly teenagers now and simple child's game wasn't enough to entertain them anymore.
Not to mention they would argue about the other stealing clothes or items, typical sibling stuff. Some days it just seemed like a lot.
Avery: That is so my shirt, give it back!
Lyra: I don't see your name on it.
Adam: Girls please, you have enough clothes of your own. Did you take her shirt without asking?
Lyra: ....... No.
Avery: Liar.
They needed a break. And like an all knowing Angel from down below in Gluttony, Bee sent Adam and Lucifer an invitation to her latest party to relax and let loose.
Adam: You want to go Luci? I know Samantha isn't a year old yet but I think it would do us good to have fun and be around other adults.
Lucifer: You're right, let her know we will be there.
*Adam sent the response that they would love to go to her party, after the recent events Adam went through, he needed a break and more importantly he felt Lucifer needed a break too, his poor husband would look at his reflection every once in a while fearing that Hellfire would come out of his eyes and mouth like it did with Leviathan*
Adam: I was also thinking that Cain could come along too. I know that Sinners are restricted to the Pride Ring, but we are the King and Queen of Hell. We can make exceptions to the rules.
Lucifer: We should be able to do that, he probably wants a break from his younger siblings too.
Adam: It’s a good thing Sera wanted to see her grandchildren so she volunteered to babysit.
Lucifer: I wish her all the luck in the world.
*after packing for the party and so they could stay a few days with Queen Bee, Adam, Lucifer, and Cain left to go to Gluttony, Sera hugged Adam and told him to have so much fun which he promised that he would, they then piled into the limo and left for the Gluttony Ring*
Adam: How was your last date Cain?
Cain: I don’t want to talk about it.
Adam: That bad?
Cain: Half of my dates are frightened over the fact that I am humanity’s first murderer and the other half are turned on by it, neither option is very appealing to me.
*while Adam and Cain were talking Lucifer looked outside the limo window thinking of maybe having a quick visit with Satan to ask if his powers lashed out like that or if it was something to be concerned about, he needed his older brother for advice, once they arrived at the Gluttony Ring Adam was hugged by Queen Bee*
Queen Bee: You just keep cuter every time I see you. I want to dress you up for the party, in fact I am going to take you shopping tomorrow and get you a party dress, something to show off that cute little body you have.
Adam: I would love that.
*Adam was feeling a little adventurous over letting Queen Bee dress him, he always liked her and wished that he could hang out with her more*
@things-arent-what-they-seem66
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draconscious · 2 months
Text
RP GET TO KNOW YOU QUESTIONNAIRE.
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NAME?: Dan!
PRONOUNS?: he/him
MOST ACTIVE MUSES?: Right now, Pike Queen Lucy over at @coiledqueen has the braincell (for the record, I blame @noitxll 😏)
RPG CLASS I'D BE: Bard or fighter! Or the frog from Chrono Trigger. Frog freakin' rules.
FAVORITE COLOR: Orange!
FAVORITE TYPE OF THREAD: I love love love experimenting and trying out all different types of threads, shifting between muse and genre. Over time, I think I've most come to enjoy writing intensity...in fighting, in tension, or in love. Action will always be a winner in my book, but I also really like writing that drills down into the details...simple conversations or interactions that allow me to explore more of the characters and the world(s) that they live in. (Yes, this is why I typically write so much LMAO)
FAVORITE THING ABOUT MY MUSE: My Clair is so much more than the angry badge-refuser who you first see in-game, and that's solely because of all the conversations, threads, and brainstorming that has happened with others since I first picked her up more than seven years ago now...she's evolved so much, and if you're reading this, THANK YOU. This community has really inspired and informed her growth over time. (I will always love building minor characters up into their own full-fledged selves, and I'm grateful that I have a supportive space to do just that. 😊)
HOW YOU LIKE TO RP: honestly? I like to establish a scene or loose plot and go from there. if things get intense, I'll make it a point to check in with my writing partner more frequently--but I love quickly landing on a dynamic and setting, and then seeing how the interaction crescendos over time! I love a quick-hitting interaction as much as I love a slow buildup, with many narrative twists and turns. I'm adaptable. 😉
(I do tend to write a lot, but that's only because I'm big on leaving my writing partners multiple threads to pull on in their own replies. I always want to leave you with enough to work with, while also letting you steer the story in your own way...that open-endedness is super important to me!)
FAVORITE PLOTS:
conflict (fighting, tense/intense situations, team-ups in the face of danger...give 'em all to me!)
sprawling adventures, even if I only have the bandwidth for a few at a time OTL
small, casual conversations about deep stuff. I am always game for some character exploration.
Moments that lead to becoming friends, or closer friends! (A little romance every now and then doesn't hurt either. 💖)
as I said above, I'm always looking to push myself writing-wise--if you have an idea that you want to try, just ask!! (I promise to do the same.)
WHERE YOU GET YOUR INSPIRATION FROM: honestly? above everything, sports. I love sports. I love competition, and watching the very best clash against each other--there's no rawer tension or emotion--and the storylines it produces are unmatched. all of my muses, to some extent, are chasing after something with all their hearts, or maintaining excellence at the top of their games...they love competing, taking everything that life gives them. they have lost before, but they always get back up because they love to win.
A good book or show can also really influence me, too! I'm currently working my way through some Dimension 20 DND campaigns. (Tabletop has been a major boon to the creative me in 2024.)
FACT ABOUT YOU: I love card games (MTG, Pokemon, Yugioh) and was my local game store's 'in-store champion' in MTG for a few years. (The title didn't really mean anything but I got some pretty dope playmats and discounted product out of it, which is a win in my book!)
I also love hiking. Frolicking, some might say. It's good.
tagging: YOU stolen from: literally everyone LMAO [HEIST COMPLETE]
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hyper-lynx · 5 months
Text
Blue Moon Ball: Outfitting
“So what the hell, a ball? A formal ball?” Hemi looked over at Liam, ears ascanse. Liam’s long, clouded tail swished playfully behind him. 
“Yep~! That’s what the letter said. The Blue Moon Ball. Two weeks from now on the Wizard Island, planar registry WIS-α-1.”
The lynx groaned and stretched as he stood from his well-cushioned seat. His upper body was wholly unclothed -- indeed, only a pair of trusty cargo shorts girded his tan fur. The tufted tips of his ears tingled a little as the energy current beside this reality shifted slightly. He approached and snatched the letter from Liam’s grasp.
“To Queer Wizard Council MEMBER and Hyper-Lynx, Hemi. Hello Magical Friend~☆…” And the invitation continued. An open bar, festivities, and a formal dress code, all described in impeccable hand-written cursive.
“I see…” Hemi muttered. He regarded Liam, his closest friend -- adorned in his typical flowing skirt and well-fitted vest, tail meandering through the cool air behind him, and wondered for just a moment if he should ask the clouded leopard to take his place. Then, the pride flag mounted on the cavern wall caught his eye, and he remembered his obligations.
“What’s the matter?” Liam asked, ears lowering just slightly. “This should be a lot of fun!”
“I’ve never… been to a big formal party like this, so I… don’t really know how any of it works. I’ve also only been to Wizard Island Island for business before, it’s not really… like, I don’t know my way around there at all.”
Liam chuckled. “You’re not one to turn down an adventure, so I don’t buy that that’s the problem.”
“...There’s also the matter of the dress code.”
“Hm! I figured that was the issue. “ Liam began to pace through the workshop. Pieces of unfinished arcane devices littered the counters, glass containers housed samples from distant realities, and a few piles of boxes were still, after months, residing at the sides of the closed cavern chamber. He stopped in front of the makeshift wardrobe -- just a wooden frame around a bar with various shorts hanging, completely in the shadow of a large mechanical air purifier. “I know your outfit choices are usually pretty… spartan, but this is a big event! Dozens or more wizards will be there, and everyone will have put a lot of effort into their outfit. I don’t think just finding your least dirty pair of pants will help you here.”
“I-- hesitate to ask this, but, what alternative do you have in mind? I’m not likely to fit any of your clothes either…” It was true-- Liam was almost a full head taller than Hemi, so sharing clothes was out of the question.
“Well, then we’ll just have to go clothes shopping for you!”
“...Can’t I just, find a good cheesy wizard hat or something? Cut some ear holes, call it a day?”
Liam’s face darkened. “Well, you could do that. For a ball of wizards, you might not even stand out. But, aren’t you a member of the Queer Wizard Council? Specifically one of the ambassadors of the gay identity?”
“Oh, you’re not about to--”
“I am! Friend, there are Expectations on you, justified or not. I won’t condone you showing up with absolutely no effort in your outfit. It doesn’t have to be like what I wear, I just want you to make a good impression! These wizards are powerful allies -- don’t you want to get to know them?”
Hemi sighed and flopped back down onto the chair he was still next to. “...Fine. We’ll go clothes shopping. But you’re doing the astrogation.”
“Ehe, I knew you’d see things my way! You won’t regret this!” With that, he practically pounced over to the divining orb and began running the numbers.
Hemi had almost fallen asleep by the time that Liam returned to him with a piece of discarded scroll paper. 
“Here! A full charted course.”
Hemi sat up and looked it over. It was a pretty straight shot through the phantasmal plane to reach… “Terastra… Is this just an excuse to visit your homeworld, Liam?”
“I mean… no! It’s not. It’s almost spring on my continent of origin, so the blooming festivals will be kicking off soon. They’re tied to the new moon, so I figure the motifs should line up. Plus, if we get lucky with the time alignment, the plaza might already be pretty well decorated.”
Hemi hesitated for a moment, but then stood up again. “Alright. Let’s do this. Better to leap then stay in place, right?”
Liam’s grin widened. “That’s the spirit!”
They both stepped onto the pedestal that formed the center of the entire chamber -- the place set aside for traversal work. The tips of Hemi’s ears sparked and shone with indigo and lavender, bringing a strange vertigo over both of them for just a moment. Hemi traced his claw along the lines of the pattern from the paper, then huffed and crouched.
“Three seconds!” He called out. Liam crouched down too.
Hemi bobbed his head a few times, running the final calculations in his head, and then leapt into the air and sliced outward with extended claws. The air tore open, and from the wound a prismatic light burst onto the chamber. Hemi’s momentum carried him through, and a second later Liam lowered his eyes and leapt into the rift as well.
The void between worlds was beautiful, but in a fleeting way-- when one leaves it, the structure is lost as the story of a dream upon waking. So it was that Liam had almost no memory of the traversal itself when he came to his senses on the surface of his home planet. The air was crisp and cool, but the first tinge of spring’s humidity had already snuck into it. The grass around him was damp with morning dew. He found Hemi’s paw reaching down towards him and took it with a groan as he stood unsteadily.
“Feeling alright?” Hemi asked.
“Yes, sorry.”
“Not at all! It was my bad, I took us close to a turbulent zone. That being said… where are we?”
Liam blinked a few times and found that the two of them were, in fact, not in the plaza of any city, but were in the midst of a great pine forest. The untamed ground sloped upwards towards the gathering light of morning.
“Um-- hopefully, we’re just… next to the city?”
“...What precision did you use in the astrogation?”
“Five places?”
Hemi groaned. “We could be miles away…” He started trudging through the short grass towards the local peak. “Come on, maybe there’s a view over this bluff.”
It was a deceptively long distance to the bluff -- by the time they arrived, the sky was already very nearly blue. But, when they finally reached the top, both were wordlessly taken aback.
The cliff they had arrived at was, in fact, the edge of a great ridge that nearly surrounded the landed side of the vibrant city below.  The shadow of the opposing cliffs still cast darkness over the white buildings, but the miniscule impressions of hundreds of people were already milling about in the city center, were the colors of spring had been lavished upon the streets in minuscule strands. Liam’s tail and ears recovered their former, perky status immediately.
“Hmh! Not bad for five decimal places.” Hemi remarked. “I might come back here on purpose some time.”
“I’m still sorry for the trouble. It might take all morning to hike down there.”
“We’ve got two weeks, right? There’s no rush. If you mess up your skirt we’ll be in a good place to get a new one, too.”
“--Right! Okay…”
They sat for a moment to watch the sunrise finish, and then continued on their way. Thankfully, a reasonable series of switchbacks existed to allow the downward voyage to be done without any significant climbing.
“They won’t like-- recognize you here, right?” Hemi asked as they approached the base of the hills. “I know you’ve done some pretty heroic stuff…”
“No, we should be fine on that front. It was a while ago, and I looked different at the time.”
“Damn. Was hoping for some ‘divine messenger’ discounts.”
“Ha!” Liam shook his head. “We should hope they don’t have any ‘divine messenger’ flaming arrows for us. But, again, it should be fine.”
When they finally breached the city walls, both cats were somewhat exhausted, so before they reached the plaza proper, they found a tea-serving restaurant of some kind to relax at. As promised, none of the residents seemed to think the two of them were at all unusual -- the residents and tourists occupied a wide array of distinct species. Mostly canids, it seemed, but felines and the odd cervid could be sighted in the streets.
As Hemi sipped on his (quite good!) cup of green tea, Liam tilted his head, caught by a passing idea. “So, Hemi, there’s one big choice we have to make before finding you clothes.”
“And what’s that?” As Hemi asked, he already had some idea of what this ‘choice’ would be, judging from the mirthful display across Liam’s face.
“Suits or skirts?”
Hemi sighed, but had no immediate response. To tell the truth, he’d been mulling that over the entire hike so far. Suits were, of course, more traditional for masculine-appearing beings, but he was there as a representative of the Queer Wizard Council, so everything would be open to him, but if he looked bad in something, it would be worse than having shown up in just shorts and a hat, and suits and ties all seemed very restrictive compared to what he was used to… it continued spinning around from there. 
“I haven’t chosen.” He answered bluntly.
“Well, for what it’s worth, I’m sure you’d cut a dashing look in either. Since you don’t have a strong preference, we’ll have to try out some of both.”
Hemi squirmed a little in his seat, then tilted his head and let his ears fall back as he noticed Liam’s general expression. “You’re enjoying this, aren’t you--?”
“It’s not every day I get to see you, of all people, flustered~”
“I’m not flustered!”
“Yes you are. Don’t lie to yourself, sweetheart.”
“Don’t-- call me that… Damn it. Fine, it’s just not a comfortable thing, okay? Is that such a crime? I probably’ll look stupid no matter what I choose anyway so--”
“What? Don’t say that! I wasn’t joking earlier, I really do think you can pull it off!”
Hemi’s ears were low, and his little nub of a tail was moving back and forth through the cutout of the chair. His posture made him appear to be barely half of Liam’s size, and his voice became quiet but firm. “This is an important event, Liam. I’ve never even seen this many other wizards at once before, let alone-- partied with them. What if I end up making a bad impression? All of this is alien to me, literally more so than actual, like, alien life… I’ve literally been more comfortable climbing a volcano or spelunking a thousand miles under the surface of some rock no one has laid eyes upon since creation began.”
“Those things are physically perilous. That’s completely different then this-- social peril-- you’re feeling. I’m sorry for pressuring you… I, uh, think I got a little too excited.“ 
Liam was quiet for a moment. “If, you want to go home, this was still a nice day out. You can even discard the invitation if you want, I’m sure they’ve got plenty of attendees.”
“...No.” Hemi’s back straightened, and he took a deep breath in. “No, I need to do this. I can’t just live underground with you alone forever-- no offense. I need to get out there, get out of my own head and be seen by… anyone else. Anything else, then just me and the one writing all this down.”
“Huh?”
Hemi finished his tea and stood up. “I’m ready.”
Liam’s eyes went wild and he quickly finished the last small amount of his own tea as well. “Then, let’s do this--!”
The plaza burst and flowed with vibrant colors and moving bodies of all descriptions. A sea of horns and ears jostled about open-air stalls with perfumes, floral headdresses, fresh-grilled fish, and, finally, a veritable feast of clothes. Gowns, cocktail dresses, suits, ties… a hundred outfits for a thousand eyes. Above it all, streams of paper-made flowers that jostled in the gentle breeze, like candle fire against the immense blue sky.
Hemi tried on a suit first. As predicted, the feeling of his long body fur being constrained by the fabric was hard to stomach, and this particular suit made his head seem disproportionately too large. He tried another -- similar results, but it was a bit looser. Most of the outfits had some sort of floral design, but a few commemorated the moon as well -- unfortunately, each suit that had appropriate theming seemed to have some issue of comfort or price that disqualified it from consideration. Minutes passed, then tens of minutes. Almost an hour. Over an hour. Even Liam had begun to wear down, and that resolve the lynx had kindled within himself could only maintain itself for so long. The crowds kept throbbing and coursing down the cobblestones all the while.
In the distance, Hemi noticed something different as the attendant (a rather friendly coyote) and Liam were helping button together the latest too-tight suit. It was a cocktail dress (of the over-one-shoulder variety), formed from a deep blue-purple that matched the night sky above his home world on a clear night. Across its chest, it displayed a beautiful full moon, and it had a few frills down the sides that would match his face’s lynx-like cheek fur. It stood against a boutique stand that seemed to have little traction.
“How does it fit?” Liam asked of the suit he was already wearing, though he was able to guess given how much Hemi had squirmed while it was being fastened, when he caught Hemi’s gaze and followed it. “Oh~! Did you find something..?”
An invisible barrier formed around Hemi’s words as he was stricken again with doubt. It would be a bold statement -- one his generally not-that-attractive physique would butcher for sure. Liam took the coyote aside and whispered something in their ears. The coyote looked across the crowd, then back to Hemi, and put their paw under their chin for a moment before nodding. Liam’s smile became a gentle smirk.
“Well, what are you waiting for? You won’t know anything until you try it on.”
The lynx looked to Liam with a frightened expression, so Liam put a hand on his still-padded shoulder. “They’re wizards, Liam. Half of them will be wearing bones or slime or something.”
Hemi swallowed and, after another second nodded. “I want to try on that dress.” The words, alien as they might have been to his tongue, brought an electric feeling to the back of his mind. The coyote dutifully helped him remove the suit, and he and Liam entered the other stall.
The dress, once donned, hung loosely around Hemi’s frame. Somehow, his exposed shoulder felt almost salacious, compared to not wearing any shirt at all, but the feeling was a good one. The fabric was smooth and breathable, so it was not unbearable on his fur. Most importantly, the inner structure of the dress emphasized his physique without being explicit-- it was just a little more sensual than normal. He turned around and around in the mirror, while Liam watched on from the side.
“So… what do you think?”
Hemi looked down at himself, then back up at the mirror. “I think I actually like it--! What do you think?”
“I think it’s gorgeous. It fits you really well! The moon might make it hard to use at other events, but that’s the only downside.”
“I’m alright with that. I’m sure if I end up wearing it often I can find some illusion to cast over the moon -- it’s basically a big white disk, right? Perfect backdrop for an insignia.”
“Right! Well-- do you want to try any of the other dresses? Since we’re on this side of the aisle…?”
“...Um. No, no I think-- I like this one. Aha--” Hemi put a hand against the back of his head and gave a soft, genuine smile. Liam quickly moved to find the cashier -- who ended up being some kind of dog with very curly white fur.
“My friend would like to buy that dress, please!” 
The cashier nodded. “And why not! Oh, but the moon is out of season, isn’t it?”
“It’s fine, it’s for a different event. Actually, the moon was what drew us over here in the first place.”
“Oho!” The cashier dropped her voice. ”And, your friend is happy in… that kind of clothing? We have a suit with the same design in the back--”
Hemi approached. His large ears made it trivial to overhear the conversation from afar. He’d removed the dress and put it onto its hanger, but was still carrying it. He laid the fabric onto the purchase area. “Yes, I’d like to buy the dress. What’s your price?”
The cashier tapped her claw onto a rune engraved in her desk, and a circle of symbols appeared briefly in the air between her and the lynx. “You are a magician, yes? I will ask for a simple service -- production of some lumen oil for my silkworms to feed on. A cup should suffice as payment.”
“Lumen oil… very well. Do you have a cloche?”
The cashier directed Hemi to her alchemy room, and left him to provide his payment while she packaged the dress gently into a clear garment bag. A few minutes later, Hemi emerged with a small container of glowing golden liquid, formed from pure arcane energy. He wiped the sweat from his head -- he’d have to do a more complete grooming in a moment.
“Pleasure doing business with you.” He set the vial onto the payment section. The cashier tapped a rune, and the sign for equivalence appeared in the air. “Then the outfit is yours. I do hope you enjoy wearing it…!” The cashier announced. 
Liam took the dress into his hands. “Thank you!” Hemi nodded in thanks as well, and the two left into the plaza. As midday drew closer, the crows had settled into lines near the food vendors, and it was clearly time to take their leave. Hemi knew the way home by heart, so it was a quick matter to tear open the air again and lead the duo back to their place in another reality.
“You did good today, Hemi.” Liam literally patted the lynx on the back as he groomed.
“It’s strange… I never imagined I’d choose an outfit like that, but-- it really did look alright on me?”
“My friend, I could not have envisioned a dress that would fit you and the occasion better. I know I’m biased, but it’s really nice that you’re taking these kinds of risks now. It was a nice day! When we both get a while off of work, we should go out again -- and not just because I got to watch you try on suits for over an hour this time.”
“Hmph--! I’ll bet that was a real treat…”
“Oh, it was~” Liam said in a tone that made it truly impossible to discern if he was being sincere or just trying to get a rise out of him. Hemi just chuckled and looked back over at the garment bag, now hanging in his wardrobe.
“You should come with me. To the ball.”
“Um-- I’m not a wizard, though?”
“Any good ball allows plus ones. Besides, I know you’ve got some ridiculous giant gown or other in your storage somewhere.”
“I… may, but, I don’t think I’d look-- hey, you don’t get to turn the situation around on me like that!”
Hemi’s chuckle turned into a full laugh. “Revenge really is sweet~ But, seriously, you should come.”
“I’ll think about it. Home’s been pretty busy lately. Tsunamis, droughts-- the people need a nature prophet more than ever. But-- if I’m not actively mitigating some huge catastrophe-- I’ll put on a ‘ridiculous, giant gown’ and come with you to the ball. It’s the least I could do, after today.”
“Thank you.”
“Of-- course.”
The matter decided, each cat went on to enjoy the rest of the afternoon in their own ways.
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fandom-nursery · 3 months
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Hi I just saw that u like vox machina :] I loveeee VM
What r your personal hcs? :0 /nf
- @/thetinyblossom 🌸
I have a lot! (please keep in mind I have only seen the show so this may not perfectly fit with the actual campagne)
Percy 
Big age range. Regresses between ages 2-9
Starts regressing after the Briarwoods are dead and his revenge is over he since he no longer has revenge to focus on and finally feels safe enough and trusts his friends enough to be little around them  
Struggles to control his facial; expressions when small. Everyone can always tell what little percy is feeling 
He is usually very talkative while little however he struggles to pronounce larger words 
He’s a pretty happy little full of all the curiosity and childlike wonder he had as a kid 
He loves to play adventurers or detectives while little. He enjoys running around the woods with a magnifying glass and studding the bugs. He keeps a “field journal” while little where he catalogs cool things he finds complete with drawings. He also loves to read or if he's feeling particularly young, be read to 
He has a particular book of stories that his parents used to read him when he was little. He found a copy one day while big and purchased it on a whim. If he’s ever feeling bad while little the book is a sure fire way to comfort him 
He prefers to change into more plain and durable clothing when he regresses. He doesn't want to ruin or mess up any of his fancy clothing so he makes sure to have at least once clean set of “play clothes” he can use 
All of vox machina know about his regression. The twins found out first and from there so did everyone else. 
Vox machina typically take turns watching him or babysitting when he’s in a younger headspace. The twins in particular tend to watch over him the most 
Scanlan 
Regresses the youngest of anyone in the group and us never older than 2
He also regresses the least out of any of the team's littles. He really tries to avoid doing it at all costs 
He is very good at noticing the signs that he’s about to slip into headspace and usually either finds a hidden place away from everyone or pushes it down 
He is terrified of being teased about his regression by anyone which makes it a sensitive subject for him. 
Because he regresses so little he has a hard time even walking on his own and prefers to be carried. He won't admit it but he loves being picked up and carried even while big
When little he's very openly emotional. He isn’t able to repress his emotions or play them off with jokes while regressed so they end up coming out at full tilt 
He mostly babbles or goes completely nonverbal while regressed however there are a few words he can pretty reliably say including mommy. The fact that it’s one of the words he can always say when little is the main reason it’s his safeword. Regression absolutely means he needs to be able to get out of any sexual encounters he may have been in the middle of. 
He hums almost constantly as a way of self soothing and just because he really does love music 
This man will happily fall asleep at any time. Because regressing tends to be such an emotional experience for him he gets drained easily 
Does not have a paci but really should. Currently resorts to chewing or sucking on his fingers most of the time 
Vex
Regresses between ages 4-6
Usually regresses voluntarily although she sometimes needs some prompting (usually from Vax) to actually do it when she needs to 
She is incredibly expressive and prone to very big emotions that she doesn’t have much of a handle on. While little Vex feels things at 100% wether that's joy, sadness, anger, or fear 
Her accent becomes stronger while regressed and she gets a bit of a lisp while speaking. She also tends to struggle with her volume control and is either mumbling or borderline shouting
She really loves magic while regressed. Something about the shiny lights and sparkles really entertains her. She also loves spending time with Trinket. She is also very dead set on doing everyones hair while little. It’s not uncommon to see almost the entire party sporting braids, ribbons and flower crowns after vex has gotten ahold of them. She is also a bit of a prankster and especially loves to pull them on Vax and Grog because they have the best reactions (Vax’s are usually fake but Grogs are very real) 
Vax bought her a stuffed bear that she calls mini trinket and Percy regularly gifts her little inventions he’s made for her to fiddle with
When Vax can’t be there with her while shes small he leaves one of his cloaks behind with her so she has something of him to hold onto until he gets back 
Vax has always taken care of her when he can and once the others know vox machina does their best to help her out and watch over her while shes regressed 
Vax 
Regresses between ages 3-8
Regresses less often than he should. He feels the need to always be available to watch over and protect Vex so he doesn’t let himself be small as much as he really needs to 
He finds himself slipping quickly and without warning into headspace especially when his separation anxiety kicks in. He has a few methods of pulling himself out of headspace though so he can usually stay big during emergencies 
He’s a very calm and quiet little. He relaxes and follows others (usually Vex) around like a lost little duckling 
He’s a very sleepy guy while small and if he feels safe and is around the people who care about him he will pass out wherever and become very cranky if he’s woken up 
Loves to play elaborate pretend games and gets annoyed when Vex doesn't want to play along. He’s usually pretty much happy to do whatever Vex is doing. He also loves to climb up big rocks and trees and then jump off or out of them which gives everyone else a heart attack 
He will spill his drinks if they aren't put in a bottle 
When she's not also regressed Vex is his caregiver but he is also taken care of by the rest of vox machina 
Keyleth 
Regresses between ages 2-6
She is a voluntary regressor and does as a way to cope and help her relax and calm her anxiety 
She tends to ramble while small about anything and everything that’s on her mind or go totally silent with no in between. She knows a little bit of sign language that she will occasionally use if she doesn't feel like speaking 
She’s a social napper and will only really take one if others are regressed with her and also being put down for a nap 
She loves making flower crowns and playing outside in the sun. She also really loves animals and if you put a creature in her lap she will sit with it for hours 
She loves fruits and berries and her fingers and mouth are almost always stained with juice 
She has a lot of toys because she keeps buying them while big. She's very good at sharing them with the others 
She does have a paci and will occasionally use one on days she isn’t talking or when she starts biting at her nails 
Grog 
Older kiddo. Regresses between ages 7-12
He has sort of a hard time noticing when he’s feeling little and usually it takes someone else pointing it out to him for him to realize he is small 
What little volume control he has goes out the window 
Very much plays a big brother role to the other littles in the group. He’s very protective of his friends. Pike has caught him attempting to beat up multiple rocks and logs because they “tripped his friends” 
He loves asking pike questions when small and will not be stopped from throwing rocks into water or off of cliffs to see what happens. If he’s not currently by a cliff or body of water he will pick up good throwing rocks to save for later 
Pike
Caregiver all the way 
The only one Scanlan tells about his regression first 
Hates being separated or splitting the party because she wants to be able to keep watch over everyone 
Very good at calming down upset littles 
She is very lenient when it comes to rules and tends not to be too strict 
Very good storyteller 
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