#a new nation is still quite vulnerable

[starrynights-sunnyskies]

⋆*·ﾟa clash to keep her ... misa x femreader (& zecira x reader)

⋆*·ﾟ⋆*·ﾟ⋆*·ﾟ⋆*·ﾟ⋆*·ﾟ⋆*·ﾟ

when there's a familiar face amongst your opponents in today's match, misa's insecurities get the best of her and she fears she might have to step up her game for you to want to keep her forever.

or: a pouting misa being jealous of fellow goalie, zećira mušović, one of your closest friends and presumed ex.

as requested

⋆*·ﾟ⋆*·ﾟ⋆*·ﾟ⋆*·ﾟ⋆*·ﾟ⋆*·ﾟ

Misa was very aware of the eyes on her as she walked onto the pitch for her pre-match warmup, people already calling out her name to hopefully get a reaction. She smiled towards the stands, hoping it had been directed to at least some of those who’d called out for her. People were slowly starting to find their seats in the arena, their chatter white noise together with the upbeat music softly echoing all around her. Today was another match day, one which Misa had set her eyes on ever since their opponent had been announced. Sweden was a strong national team, often landing quarter and half finals in tournaments and home to some key players to various clubs around Europe. She’d played a fair amount with Jakobsson at Real Madrid for a while, and Olofsson was one of her current teammates. She knew not to underestimate them, and that was exactly why she put her mind back into focus as soon as her cleats dug into the grass beneath her feet. She’d been put on the starting eleven, right at the top as number one, of course. It felt great knowing she could play another match, but that feeling was nothing compared to knowing she’d share the pitch with you, her girlfriend.

Though she’d gotten to know you little by little each time national camp had rolled around, the spark hadn’t properly ignited until a few weeks ago. Things were fresh, new, exciting and nervous, and Misa lapped every feeling up, having never felt like such a hopeless fool in love. It had been as strange as it had been fun to discover this new side to her, but she loved letting the feeling lead her even more each time her romantic gestures or surprises would earn her a smile from you. The way you would look at her, hold her and care for her had been nothing short of euphoric and if this lovey-dovey feeling would last, she desperately wished she could keep you around for a lifetime. 

Misa approached the goal, gave the pole a good rattle and jumped up to hit the bar. This was her stage tonight and damn would she give a performance if she could. She took a few big sips of her bottle before throwing it beside the post, grabbing the gloves she’d secured behind her waistband and put them on. This was routine for her, and she should’ve acted on autopilot, but there was something different this time around. 

Her eyes kept glancing at the tunnel, waiting, longing... and it distracted her, that much was clear. Even onlookers could see her staring at something invisible on the side of the pitch, but those who didn’t know why, thought nothing of it. 

Misa had wanted to wait and walk out together, but you were going to take longer than usual and she needed to warmup with some of the strikers. You were getting taped up, your ankle still a vulnerable spot after the injury you’d gotten three months ago at your club. It had been nothing too serious, just a light sprain, but still, you knew to be careful with your body. It was always exciting to play a match, even if your current national team situation had taken that drive and enthusiasm down a couple of notches. Still, it was an honour to play the sport you loved most and to see people from all ages come together for the same reasons. Playing for both club and country had taken you to quite some countries throughout your career so far, and it had left you making friends from all over. Some teammates felt more like colleagues than friends, but those who you’d gotten close to, would always have a special place in your heart, no matter if you still played with them or not. It was why you were even more excited for the match ahead as you tied up your cleats, humming along to one of the songs that was playing in the locker room to keep the energy high.

There were a couple of familiar faces in the opposing team for you today— Kaneryd, Björn and Eriksson for example. But the one face you’d missed most was that of Zećira Mušović. You’d been contracted by Chelsea during the same transfer window as Zećira, and, as the new girls on the team, you had stuck to each other like glue. You’d been assigned a flat in the same building by the club, so carpooling had been a given from the get-go. She’d also helped you remove the hideous floral wallpaper all around your flat and in return, you had helped her carry all the furniture she’d bought at Ikea that day inside, her country’s trusted store even helping her out overseas. It had both come paired with loads of cursing in Spanish and Swedish though, but had ended in sighs of exhaustion and laughter. She’d knocked on your door the day after, a packet of her favourite Kafferep’s in her hand which she’d put in her bag to hand out as an introduction gift to everyone. A thing she had held onto after that, because each time she’d come back from Sweden, she had a new packet of cookies with your name on it in her suitcase. You’d invited her in and emptied the entire packet with some tea, to immerse yourselves to the English culture, and watched a match on your laptop, since your TV still hadn’t arrived. Zećira was fun, caring, easygoing and between your initial trouble speaking English and her laidback nature, your friendship worked like a charm.

It had been hard to move away from your familiarities for the first time in your life, having to adjust to a culture, country and language you didn’t know much of, but it had been easier to do while having a friend around, someone who could relate. She learned to understand your Spanglish and was one of the few who could pinch through your accent. It had helped pull you out of our shell, which in return had introduced you to the goofy side your friend had.

You discovered London together on days off, tried cafe’s and restaurants and binged every new show Netflix would put out. The Chelsea girls had quickly turned to calling the two of you Biggy and Smallz, in which you were obviously Smallz next to the tall tower that Zećira was. Still, you were not to be underestimated with your fiery nature on the field. You were a defending tower of your own when it came to your play, always stopping an attack or cheekily sneaking away the ball from someone's feet whenever you could. Having you play close to her had strengthened Zećira’s backline, making sure her wall extended to the group of defenders you were part of. Playing at Chelsea had ended up being one of the best experiences of your life. It had opened doors for you, if not career-wise, then definitely when it came to your personal life. You had been in your early twenties, afraid you’d missed out on a best friend after having focused so hard on football, but there she’d been, entering your life fashionably late but with Kafferep’s to make up for it. After your contract had ended and you’d felt the need to freshen things up and start somewhere new, and maybe play a little closer to home again, you’d been surprised by how well you’d kept in touch. It hadn't ever been that easy with other ex-teammates. Things would fade out eventually, you presumed, like it always would. Then again, Zećira wasn't just any teammate. You didn’t live in the same flat anymore, nor did you see each other every month, but Zećira never missed an important date, and she could always expect to wake up to a congratulatory message whenever she’d played a good match.

You hadn’t seen her in a while, which was the reason behind the pep in your step as you walked out of the locker room and saw a couple of yellow jerseys pass you. Your eyes looked around, hoping to find the red of your best friend’s goalie kit as you walked out the tunnel and onto the pitch, immediately feeling your cheeks dust with pink as people called out your name. It would never feel normal, which was exactly why you cherished it so much. The arena was slowly filling up, so you deemed it enough time to at least take a picture with the adorable kid waving your jersey in one hand and a marker in the other. The way his eyes lit up and widened in size as he saw you approach, made a wide grin of your own break out. He was too shocked at the entire thing to answer your questions whether he was excited or ready to cheer. You lovingly put a hand on his shoulder when he started to ramble to you about having your Chelsea Home and Away jersey as well as your current club’s, and that he’d watched the last national match with his teammates. A few pictures were in order after that, obviously, but you gently excused yourself as the arena filled up more, not wanting to throw a spanner in your warm up routine. But as you jumped down from the barrier, two gloved hands held your elbows to soften your landing. 

“Hej, litet.” 

You would recognise that Swedish twang out of a thousand.

Zećira looked down at you, eyes squeezed shut as her expression was one of pure joy. You squealed almost immediately, jumping into the arms that were already beckoning you into them. She pulled you to stand on your tippy toes as you hugged, and as she kept laughing, you couldn’t help but join her. 

“What are you doing here?” She rose an eyebrow, feeling playful.

“I was trying to find the nearest tube station, but I don’t know how I ended up here.” You motioned around you, then at your kit, “Think I’ll just commit to it now.” 

She rolled her eyes at you, immediately catching onto the reference from when you’d ended up getting lost in London’s web of metro lines. Each time you'd taken one and submerged from the Underground only to find out you were in the wrong distract, again, you'd laughed before descending the stairs and taking another one. You'd eventually found your way back to your flat, but the sun had set already and your bank account had been a couple of pounds lighter from all the unnecessary travelling. It was safe to say that you had tried to evade London's maze of metro lines as much as you could after that.

“Though, making sense of that tube map didn't take me as long to figure out than that gibberish you spoke to me in those first few weeks.”

She groaned and held her arm when you didn’t hold back and punched her, the pounding of your fist loud against her skin. She rubbed the spot, but it didn't make the mischief in her eyes disappear, “Ai-” She laughed, then pushed against your shoulder, letting you stumble back a step, but her eyes widened and her hands immediately pulled you towards her when you almost fell over the stack of practice cones behind you. 

“Are you trying to get us down to ten players already?” You huffed out playfully, watching as she grinned again.

“Worth a try, but, hey, listen-” She put her hand in front of her mouth, voice turning to a whisper, “I have something for you, but only after the game. Kolakakor,“ She added as she watched your reaction.

You beamed at her, “You brought me cookies?! How did you even know I’d make it onto the roster this camp?”

Zećira shrugged, big gloved hands squeezing together as she answered nonchalantly, “I had a feeling. How’s the ankle?”

You pushed out your leg, turned it and twirled your ankle around, as if you were Cinderella showing off her glass slipper. 

“Wow, you need new cleats.”

“And you need new gloves. Hell, Zeći, I can smell them from here.”

A playful glint appeared in her eyes, “Yeah, you can? How do they smell from here?” She pulled you into a headlock with one arm, the other moving close to your face as she planted a quick kiss on your hair. 

“Smallz!” You heard a voice and matched it to Johanna, Kaneryd, and felt two slender arms join the huddle and trap you further into Zećira’s chest. 

“Jojo! Don’t team up, help me!”

You heard the two Swedes laugh.

“Sorry, tonight you’re the opponent.” Johanna giggled, rubbing your back and smiling at you through Zećira’s hold as she waved goodbye to do some drills of her own. “We’ll catch up after we win!” She winked at you from over her shoulder. 

“So, like, maybe in a couple of years, then?”

Johanna rolled her eyes and waved you off.

You sensed Zećira was slowly letting go and decided to seize the moment. Immediately, she pulled you tighter against her tall body, engulfing you, when she realised you were trying to flee.  

“Let go or-”

“-or you’ll send your girlfriend after me?”

“They’re filming us, I can’t have them see me weak!”

"Let them film! Let them see the true you!" She laughed, knowing clips of your interaction would probably end up in multiple edits again. Oh, they couldn't be more wrong about the two of you.

Zećira rolled her eyes when you yelped. She let you go, watching in amusement as you let out an annoyed gruff while touching the hair she’d messed up and you’d spent so long perfecting in the mirror.

“So, tell me, how is the girlfriend?” She teased, poking at you before you playfully slapped her hand away. But before you could reply, you heard the staff call out for you and watched the last of your teammates walk onto the pitch.

“Raincheck?” 

“Gotcha.” She winked, accepting your hug and watching you run to your side of the pitch to start your warmups, the smile not leaving her face.

Meanwhile, from under her goalpost, Misa had turned into a sour pouting mess.

She had perked up upon seeing you enter the pitch, had then watched with a soft smile as you interacted with the child, but had then felt her stomach drop when you didn’t come up to her, but was swooped away by her instead. She had watched the woman sling her arm around your torso and had watched her plant the softest kiss on your head. She had watched how you scrunched your nose and let her hold you, had seen the two of you laugh and play. Misa absentmindedly juggled the ball from one hand to the other, eyes zeroing in on the entire encounter, no longer focused on warming up with her teammates. She let out a groan as a ball hit her thigh, whoever had shot it not wanting to go easy on her. With furrowed brows, Misa turned to the presumed perpetrator, seeing a grinning Jenni giving her a look, hands on her hips in challenge. 

“Next time I’ll aim for your head, idiota,” She stopped the ball Misa had rolled back towards her, giving the girl some time to walk back to her goal. 

“Shut up, or I’ll come for your fucking ankles, Jennifer.” She huffed, eyes furrowed and expression mirroring her feelings. 

Jenni whistled, amused at how her friend had changed from focused and happy to play, to a jumble of sadness and annoyance, “Oh, do you say your prayers with that same dirty mouth?” Jenni glanced behind her, following Misa’s line of sight, face immediately breaking out into a bigger grin as she realised what was going on. 

“I think you should go for her ankles instead.”

“Her hands, more like.” Misa mumbled out.

Jenni rolled her eyes, “You’re adorable, right now, you know that?”

The rage and offence on Misa’s face made Jenni only laugh louder. 

“That’s only further proving my point.”

Misa pretended to kick the ball in front of her as hard as she could, only stopping last-minute, making Jenni shield herself and her laughter behind her arms for the shot that never followed. 

“Oye, she’s bullying me-” Jenni’s voice bellowed across the field, catching the attention of multiple people standing around. No one reacted, knowing better after seeing the clownish grin on Jenni’s face.

“Just go up to her,” Jenni shrugged after Misa had blocked one of her shots and passed the ball back to her, “Stake your claim. Show her which goalie she should keep closer.”

“I don’t want to be that pathetic overly jealous new girlfriend and already scare her away."

"But you are the over jealous new girlfriend. At least, right now, you are."

Jenni took another few shots at the goal, sensing how Misa was losing her drive and concentration by the second.

"Then how about you go and be the confident girlfriend instead? Shake her hand, introduce yourself, show that you aren't afraid."

Misa only huffed, "You know that will only make me look even more jealous and protective, right? If I let her do her thing, it shows I have confidence in us and that I trust her. Which I do. I just don't trust her." She nudged her chin to the side of the pitch, where the two of you were still talking.

"Sure, you really ooze confidence right now," Jenni rolled her eyes, "I think you're giving way too much power to some stupid rumour, Misa."

"Well, I still don't want everyone to film the entire thing and put online how pathetic I am."

"Oh, so you'd rather have them film them now and give the internet the impression that they're girlfriends who are reuniting after some time apart?"

If looks could kill, Jenni would be buried in the earth beneath her feet right about now. Misa kicked the ball with pure intent to hurt, but Jenni only jumped aside, taking another ball lying nearby to kick back instead.

"She seems busy. And happy.”

“Busy and happy being smothered by someone other than you, you mean?” Jenni chuckled, “At least she has a type— broody brunettes with big hands and bushy eyebrows.”

Misa’s eyes flitted to you again, watching how your friend caught you from falling over with such tender care, it hurt her heart. Your relationship was so fresh that you hadn’t even had the ex-partners talk. You had yet to exchange awkward stories or reminisce on past heartbreaks. She hated it now, as she watched you and Zećira fall in easy conversation together, wondering if there’d been something between the two of you at some point like the gossips online had said. She'd seen the countless pictures and edits of the two of you on your tagged page. She shook her head, willing the thoughts away.

Though she was already falling fast and hard for you, she had yet to get to know everything about you. It often made her nervous about how deeply she was already falling in love with you. If she was feeling like this after this short amount of time, she didn't want to know the romantic fool she'd be within the next year. But right now, she hated how she knew that the Swede knew you better, while she was supposed to be the one to know you the best. Her heart sank to the pit of her stomach as a wave of insecurity suddenly washed over her. She’d stopped watching the two of you talk entirely as she’d seen the ease of which your conversation flowed, kicking the ball back to Jenni.

Your eyes finally found Misa’s as you approached them not long after. A shy smile accompanied with the most adorable wave was sent her way, turning Misa from a scowling grump into a pouting lovestruck fool. Her face softened immediately and she waved her gloved hand back at you.

“Misa and Y/N, sitting in a tree-” 

Jenni dodged the ball being thrown at her.

“Say it louder and the entire arena will hear, why don’t you?”

“Sorry,” Jenni retreated, knowing she was one of the lucky few to already know about your relationship. Not as if the entire team hadn't already been gossiping though...

You jogged over, face bright and extra cheerful, but glowered playfully when Ona pulled you back by the hem of your jersey, redirecting your focus from your girlfriend to getting your body warmed up for the match. Misa had to make do with the apologetic smile you sent her, but a grin and thumbs up from her stopped you from feeling bad at the prickly pout on her face.  

Minutes later, she stood in line at the kick-off, face stoic as she rushed passed and quickly shook every Swede's hand, making sure to squeeze a little tighter when glove met glove at the start of the line.

Misa liked how she had you close as soon as the match started, the red jersey with your name in yellow lettering never too far out of her sight. When the ball was on the Swedish side of the pitch and nowhere near her goal, she could feel her thoughts wander. But the worries and insecurities never lingered long when the Swedes swiped the ball back. 

As the halftime whistle sounded and her stomach fluttered when she watched you wait for her to catch up to walk off the pitch together. But with the game still on the forefront of both your minds and your mind and body still reeling with adrenaline, there was no time to dwell on anything else but how to remain your advantage and up the score in the second half. 

She sat down in her cubby, took quick gulps of her bottle and looked for you, realising your eyes were already on her as you wiped at your hairline with a towel. With her intense and focused gaze directed at your flushed face, she realised it reminded her of something. It seemed your mind went to the same place as she saw your expression change, your focus swaying ever so slightly. Misa swallowed and wiped her chin with the back of her hand, then gestured the bottle to you from across the room. You approached, your cleats tapping against the floor, and stood in front of her, looking down at her as you drank from her bottle. Misa’s arm wrapped around your legs, pulling you to stand against her as you all turned to listen to the new tactic being explained. Her strong hold and the soft yet dominant show of her love for you sent you reeling, but you distracted yourself by taking another few sips. You had always been touchy, hell, the entire national team was pretty comfortable and affectionate with each other, something some of your club teammates had playfully blamed your culture for. But that meant that none of your teammates batted an eye at the physical contact the two of you exchanged. Well, you thought they didn't.

You wanted to give the bottle back to Misa so she could finish it, but she gently pushed it back towards you with a gentle smile on her face, ushering you to empty it. Of course it would go against Misa’s nature to not put you first place. You leaned against her, hand resting on her shoulder as she welcomed your touch by pulling you in to stand even closer.

“How’s your ankle?” She softly whispered to not interrupt the talk.

You smiled reassuringly, “Good so far, don’t worry,”

As you listened how your practiced tactic was explained again to refresh your minds, your thoughts wandered off to how your Swedish friends were on the other side of the wall, discussing how to have you lose. Football was a funny sport, you realised— it was one that had helped you make a plethora of friends both among your national teammates and your club ones. No matter the match, there were always friends, connections and familiar faces. But on the pitch, the faces blurred and all you had eyes for was the ball they were trying to sneak passed you. You were used to playing against friends, but they were opponents on the pitch. After all, each match was just that— another match. What happened on the pitch, stayed there as well. Badmouthing, harsh shoves and nasty looks would all be laughed at afterwards. 

A soft tap on your hip and the cacophony of cleats beating against the floor snapped you out of it. That, including the kiss you felt against your temple. Misa stood up, grabbed your hand and guided you out with her, back into the tunnel. A crowd of red and yellow jerseys gathered quickly, waiting for the ref to give the green light to walk back out onto the pitch. But you felt your girlfriend squeeze the living hell out of your hand the second a different shade of red flashed through your peripheral. You turned your head and watched as your friend and girlfriend locked eyes for the first time.

Zećira narrowed her eyes. Her face was pure focus and enmity. Immediately you turned to Misa, who straightened her back ever so slightly to try and gain some length on your tall friend. Misa’s face was set in stone— hard and hostile. Your eyes flitted back to your Swedish friend, feeling surprised and shocked at the interaction between the two, all while your girlfriend still squeezed your hand as if her life depended on it. 

The Swedish goalkeeper then dipped her head in silent understanding and respect, something Misa reciprocated, but only after tilting her head and analysing the woman’s sincerity first. 

The shrill sound of the ref’s whistle echoed around you, and off you all went again. Still, you couldn’t quite brush off the encounter you’d just witnessed. You had wanted to introduce the two to each other after the match, seeing as they were both important people in your life. You knew Zećira would suss out Misa first, wanting her judgements of your girlfriend to be based on her own experience, and not by your lovestruck and biased gushing. And you definitely knew Misa would at least be a little aloof and cautious, stemmed from her protectiveness over you, especially when meeting new people. But to have it go this way… you hadn’t expected it. You didn’t want to have to step into the role of mediator between your best friend and your girlfriend. The prospect of how this could further play out worried you.

As the game commenced, you kept muttering silent prayers, hoping that it had just been the adrenaline and rivalry that had fuelled the encounter between them. Like how you’d almost sent Magda plummeting to the ground during a corner kick just now and how you’d yelled at each other, but how you'd also know she would brush it off after the game with a smile.

She squared up to you, getting in your face, and as you felt Alexia’s and Irene’s hands tugging you away from the confrontation, your eyes flashed to those of Zećira who was tightly clutching the ball against her chest, watching it unfold in front of her. She seemed to say something to Magda in Swedish, something that made the woman retreat with a huff and a nasty look directed your way. Zećira's eyes didn't find yours again, and you hated it. You wanted her to look at you so you could try and read her eyes and confirm that your worries had been false, that your friend’s head had been in the game back in the tunnel, and that it had been the reason why her usual giddy smile hadn’t appeared.

You’d even glanced back towards Misa a couple of times during the rest of the game, only to see her so wrapped up in it, that you knew it was useless to try and find your answers while you were still playing.

At 95 minutes, the whistle sounded through the arena. Spain had won with one to nil, but just barely. Sweden had been a tough opponent today. They’d made you run in circles and try and lure you out, but you had stuck to the initial plan. The backline had been unwavering today, with Misa being the theoretical end boss waiting for them in the goal on the rare occasion they did pass through you all. The score could have been higher, had Zećira not been in the way the entire time. Granted, that was her job on the pitch, but still.

As you waved and clapped in gratefulness in response to the chants and cheers, your feet led you to the dreaded and inevitable moment that had filled you with worries for the past fifty minutes. 

You met your girlfriend halfway as she’d already walked up to you and decided it was probably best to at least get rid of some of her adrenaline by signing stuff and chatting with fans. Then afterwards, you two could wind down in the locker room, freshen up, and hopefully the emotions would be dwindled enough so that Misa and Zećira could properly meet each other with rationality and a clear mind. 

You kept glancing over to your girlfriend every now and then in between photos. You noticed how she always knew when to answer your glances. That, or maybe she'd been staring all along. But there seemed nothing off about her behaviour, or the look in her eyes, not right now at least. 

With your hand on her lower back, you leaned in so that she could hear you over the noise, “I’m going back in to check with physio, you finish up.” 

Misa glanced at your face over her shoulder. You saw the thought in her eyes before she could open her mouth, “I’ll be fine, mi cielita, it doesn’t hurt, it’s just precautionary.”

You knew there were eyes and phones on you, so you played it off friendly and disappeared off the field. 

After getting the all-clear from physio, you walked to the locker room. It was quietly buzzing inside, everyone winding down in their own way. Some girls were chatting or sitting by themselves and scrolling through their phone, some were showering or listening to music and then… there were the gossips. Of course, it was all fun and games and only ever ended in fits of giggles. You had to admit that you often even enjoyed listening in or adding a comment or two of your own. All innocent amusement, of course.

You could hear them mutter amongst each other, but your ears perked the second you heard your girlfriend’s name enter their conversation. 

“-at Misa? Did you see the way she was before the match?”

“With Jenni?”

“Yeah, but also before that?”

“Why?”

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen her look both so distraught and prickly at the same time.”

“It's Misa."

"Yeah but, did you really not see the pout on her face the entire time?”

“Uh, I’m sorry if I was busy making sure to warm up instead of diving headfirst into another injury.”

“You always miss out on these things-”

“-no, I don’t, because I have you three to keep me up to date, don’t I?”

“I’m pretty sure I know why she was like that though because when-”

You pretended to busy yourself by undressing, carefully placing your stuff in the cubby behind you. Their voices turned to a hushed whisper you could no longer hear from your side of the locker room, and when you looked up to see if they had perhaps stopped talking altogether, you saw four sets of eyes already on you. 

They all quickly looked away, not realising you had caught their entire conversation, too. They went back to their whispers and glances but fell silent when Misa walked into the locker room.

Misa pulled her hair out of her bun, aimlessly threw her gloves in her cubby and forcefully started to tear the tape off her hands, not even wincing as it pulled at her flesh. You watched as they watched, Misa only adding substance to their gossiping with the moody frown on her face as she sat down, legs sticking out and head falling back against her locker. Her behaviour stuck out like a sore thumb after the match she had just played. There was no need to look this sullen after having stopped attempt after attempt from the Swedish side. They’d won. She hadn’t conceded a single goal, and it had not been out of lack of trying on the opposing side. It was obvious that something else was going on.

Their eyes flitted back to you, clearly seeing if you would act on it. It was as if Misa’s mind linked with theirs momentarily as her eyes found yours and she opened one of her arms, a silent request for you to keep her company. 

“What’s wrong?” Alexia’s gentle voice wondered, stopping you in your tracks and making you readjust the straps of your sports bra to pretend you hadn’t just meant to walk over to Misa.

Misa looked up at her friend, shrugged, and kicked off her cleats. 

“Well, that’s not reassuring,” Alexia sat down beside her, observing her quietly, “You’re being weird.”

Misa grumbled, “Weird how?” 

“You haven’t said a word ever since leaving the locker room a few hours ago. And you’re brooding.” She added.

“I’m not-”

Alexia gave her a look, rose her eyebrows and signalled to Misa’s face, who immediately rubbed the frown off it and wiped the pout away.

You met Alexia’s eyes momentarily as your Capitana leaned in, whispering, “If you want to be lowkey about it… you’re doing an awful job so far, amiga.”

You felt their eyes on you and didn’t want to make things too obvious. So, you grabbed your toiletries and left for the showers, feeling one particular set of eyes burn in the back of your head as you walked away from her.

Misa walked in not long after, locking eyes with you as you rinsed the shampoo out of your hair. Her body moved behind the blurred glass panel between you. 

“Misa?”

Her head popped around your panel before her name had so much rolled off your tongue, as if she had been desperately waiting for you to call out for her. You smiled and wiped the soapy foam across her eyebrows away before it could drip into her eyes. 

You then leaned in, pinching her chin between thumb and finger to pull her closer, and planted a chaste kiss on her wet lips. Her hand immediately rested on the curve of your hip and she leaned in for another one. You felt her melt into it, deepening it, tongue colliding with yours in a sensual kiss. You both ignored how the risk was high that one of your teammates could walk in. You pulled back and snuck another quick kiss against her lips. You scrunched your nose, hand sliding to cup her cheek instead, “I really like you,” You winked playfully and gave her a soft slap against her cheek, then turned around to continue your shower routine.

Her eyes still watched as the water fell around you and onto your skin. The water pelting down, the steam and the smell of your lovely conditioner masking the entire room made the entire thing that more intoxicating. 

“You’re waisting water, cielita.” You tutted.

She chuckled lowly at your tone before turning back to her shower.

Then, you heard knocking against the panel beside you and you watched as a heart appeared on the fogged panel. Next, an I and a U appeared on either sides of the heart. The adorable message immediately turned your insides to mush. With your relationship still fairly new, you were still in the giddy phase where lingering touches could make you blush. You were still discovering little things about her. Silly little things, like how it felt to have the weight of her hands on your hips and how that would make your heart beat faster, how the butterflies in your stomach would go insane when she looked at you in a way she hadn’t before, or when you learned something new that could make her smile. You hadn’t dared to tell her you loved her already, but with Misa continuing to make your heart do somersaults with gestures like these, you knew it was only a matter of time. 

Patri and Claudia walked into the showers, sparing you only an acknowledging glance before doing their own thing. More teammates started to pile in after that. 

You pulled a towel off the hook and wrapped it around you, cursing when you realised you hadn’t taken a smaller one with you for your hair, when a hand appeared, holding one out for you.

Misa.

“What about your hair?”

You heard the love in her voice as she chuckled, “I’ll be fine, it’s just water,”

“I have a spare one-” Salma offered you, but Misa appeared and pushed the towel against your chest, wanting you to accept hers.

You missed the way your teammates gave each other a look, or how they realised Misa had chosen the shower right next to yours when she’d had plenty of others to choose from before they had all walked in. They weren’t stupid. Some giggled, others playfully side-eyed each other or whispered something behind their hands. 

“Wait- use one of my spare shirts then-” You pulled one out of your toiletry bag, “It’s microfibre.” You saw the puzzled look on Misa’s face as to why in the hell that would matter, “It’s better for your hair,” You merely shrugged, missing the soft smile she sent your way. Of course, you’d know such adorable things. It almost made her forget what she was trying to push to the back of her mind.

You sat in your assigned cubby, dressed in comfortable clothing and applying a fragrance when Misa walked towards her bag. She smiled cheekily before throwing on her clothes and motioning for you to come and sit with her— attempt number two. She opened her arms and slid down slightly, a clear invitation to sit on her lap. And so you did, arms wrapping around her neck as you watched her answer a quick text before her attention went back to you.

“What?”

You shook your head, “Nothing.”

“It’s never nothing when they say it's nothing,” She chuckled and you grinned along, liking how she finally seemed at ease again now that she had you in her arms.

“What’s this now? They?!”

She shrugged, waved a hand around, looking all smug, “Eh, you know.”

You played along, “I most certainly do not! Are there others?!” 

She mumbled against your neck, inhaling the mixed scent of your body wash, shampoo and fragrance. Her voice was low, “Do you really want to know?” 

“I don’t know. Do I?” 

Misa’s teeth softly dig into the flesh of your collarbone, biting down very slowly to ease you into the pleasurable pain. She muttered against your skin, “I could tell you?” She looked up at you, her hand massaging the flesh of your thigh, “Or I could show you how you’re the only one for me?”

Before your cheeks could flush at her hooded eyes, a knock sounded on the door of the locker room. Then again a few seconds later, when no one had replied. The girls who hadn’t already left for the bus or to chat with family and friends after the match, were either still showering or all huddled up in front of the mirrors. So, you quickly jumped up from Misa’s lap, ignoring how she slapped your butt as you did. 

Your head popped outside as you opened the door, eyes immediately brightening as you saw a freshly showered and snug looking Zećira standing there, backpack in one hand, a packet of cookies in the other. 

“Sorry, but we don't buy at the door.”

“No buying, I come bearing gifts,” She laughed, noticing how you glanced behind you. You didn’t want to open the door fully now that some of the girls were changing, in case some staff walked by and peered inside. “We’ll come right out-”

She nodded in salute and stepped to the side as you closed the door. Misa immediately knew what this meant and dread filled her all over again.

“Love, there’s someone I really want you to meet.” You started gently, a reassuring smile to match as you offered your hand to her. You saw the gears in her head turning as she bit her lip, she was far away in thought and worries. Misa snapped out of it when you wiggled your fingers in front of her, “Trust me. Come on, babe.”

She let you pull her up and you immediately pulled her against you and into an embrace.

“You’re both really important to me and I’d love for you to know one another.” You muttered into her damp hair, and she melted at the mellowness of it.

Misa nodded and patted your back, a quiet plea to be let go of. No matter how much she enjoyed having you in her arms, she needed to prepare herself. And she could not do such a thing if she kept hearing her heartbeat thud in her ears, something that was entirely your doing. If what was about to happen would be anything like the swift encounter she’d already had with your friend, well, she needed to toughen up.

With her hand in yours, you stepped out into the hallway. Zećira pushed herself off the wall when she heard the door open and her eyes immediately flitted to Misa’s, who looked like a shy toddler with her hand in yours. Misa was aware of that, so she immediately straightened her back, realising that it had been a pathetic attempt at wanting to seem as tall as the woman in front of her. She felt you start to swing your intertwined hands between you and, even if she loved you for it, she hated how it wounded her tough act right now. Misa felt embarrassed about how she seriously doubted your judgement skills if you had ever decided to befriend this tall and brooding Scandi.

Zećira’s eyes narrowed, trying to gage the woman you had fallen for, trying to sense if she had to scare the living hell out of her or not. Misa answered her intense look the same way she’d done in the tunnel— her head tilting and her lips tightly pressed together. She rose an eyebrow as the goalie in front of her stuck out her hand and looked down at her, daring her to shake her hand. Misa’s hand immediately fell into Zećira’s, accepting the challenge, both women squeezing so hard that their knuckles turned white.

“Good game,” Zećira nodded, like the good sport she was.

“Good game,” Misa repeated, feeling pathetic how her brain hadn’t been able to come up with something better on the spot. 

“I’m Zećira,” Your friend smiled a tightlipped smile, squeezing Misa’s hand even tighter.

“Oh, I’ve heard,” Misa rose an eyebrow, having to fight the urge to look at her with disdain, “Misa.” 

Your girlfriend immediately wound her arm around you the second she let go of the handshake, making it known that the two of them were only shaking hands because she was your girlfriend. 

It was then when you realised why Misa had been so quiet all along... acting so off. She was jealous. You looked at her in another light then, noticed the tension in her face, the fire in her eyes. Your heartbeat quickened at the realisation that she had to like you a lot in order for her to grow this jealous. It worked you up, you shamefully admitted. If only she knew she didn't need to worry for even a second that you wouldn't be hers. You took the slightest step closer against Misa, hoping it would make it clear to her that you longed to be around her, no matter how much you loved your friend.

You felt dizzy the way your eyes had followed the two women and their display of dominance, like a damn tennis match. They stared at each other for an agonising beat, and you were about to get into your role as mediator when Zećira suddenly let out a chuckle. A genuine one, not a sarcastic or hostile one. She started grinning then, and her twinkling eyes of amusement took in the incredulous questioning look on your face.

“I almost had you there, didn’t I?” She directed at Misa, who looked just as taken back. Then she turned to you, "She didn't falter for even one second, I like her!"

Zećira continued, as if she hadn't just given the women in front of her major whiplash, “Well, I didn’t bring enough cookies for three… especially not with her appetite, but we’ll divide equally." She pried open the container, "We just have to keep an eye on that one so she won't eat the entire thing herself,” She smiled at your girlfriend as if she’d known her for weeks already, and you shook your head, snapping out of it.

You cleared your throat, feeling yourself relax again now that you realised Zeći's demeanour had been an act to see how Misa would react, “How generous of you. Do I have to get Johanna test these for me or can I trust that you haven’t put salt instead of sugar in them just to spite me?”

Zećira’s laugh echoed across the walls, remembering that one time she had done that. On accident though, even if she still didn't have you entirely convinced. She shook the box with cookies, knowing you would want to dive in right away. Then, she turned to Misa, “I promise they’re really good. They’re... caramelly… don’t you guys like that? Dulce... something-something?”

“Dulce de leche?” You wondered, watching as your friend snapped her fingers in eureka, “How stereotypical of you. And that’s originally South-American, idiot.”

“Hey, I’m trying!”

She was right, you had to give it to her. Which reminded you…

You quickly nudged Misa, who cleared her throat and grabbed a cookie, muttering a silent thank you. She had quietly watched the entire encounter turn a 180, and she was still trying to wrap her head around it all. She continued to stare at Zećira before finally looking at you, feeling the way you immediately clung to her as soon as you could. Then she looked back toward Zećira. There were zero signs of malice, resentment, bitterness or jealousy in the now kind eyes of your friend as she watched the two of you all loved up. The entire turn of events had alienated Misa and made her think that it was simply an act Zećira was upholding for your sake, but Misa saw the sincerity in which the Swede carried herself around you two as she ushered you to the seats in the hallway.

Your girlfriend grinned bashfully when you planted a kiss on her lips before grabbing a cookie of your own, diving in right after. You groaned at the taste, having missed her Kafferep surprises.

“No salt,” Misa put her thumb up after taking a bite, finally loosening up when she realised the coast was clear and that the threat she thought she had to deal with had passed. Or better yet, hadn't been there to begin with.

You grinned up at your girlfriend, happy how she was starting to warm up to your friend and joining in on the banter. You knew she had the best dry banter anyway, it was part of her charm and how she’d captured your attention.

You attentively brushed some crumbs from Misa’s t-shirt, hand falling to hers right after. Zećira’s expression softened as she watched the ease and comfort of which you acted around each other, “So, you’re the lucky one who’s finally got her wrapped around someone's finger, huh?”

Misa turned to you, face finally breaking out into a wide grin. She hated how she had doubted your relationship for even a second, but she wholly blamed it on the fact that it was just so good, that it simply seemed too good to be true. But it wasn't. Life could be harsh, but sometimes, it could give you the most wonderful presents at the most random moments.

She realised it then as she looked right into your eyes, "I am the lucky one, indeed.”

⋆*·ﾟ⋆*·ﾟ⋆*·ﾟ⋆*·ﾟ⋆*·ﾟ⋆*·ﾟ

© 𝗱𝗼 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝗰𝗼𝗽𝘆, 𝗿𝗲𝗽𝘂𝗯𝗹𝗶𝘀𝗵, 𝘁𝗿𝗮𝗻𝘀𝗹𝗮𝘁𝗲, 𝗽𝗼𝘀𝘁 𝗼𝗿 𝗿𝗲𝗽𝗿𝗼𝗱𝘂𝗰𝗲 𝗺𝘆 𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗸 𝗶𝗻 𝗮𝗻𝘆 𝘄𝗮𝘆.🖤

songs:

she calls me daddy - king mala

kiss or kill - stela cole

the less i know the better - tame impala

people i don't like - upsahl

[probablyasocialecologist]

The 370-page border bill that Democrats signed off on reads like a GOP wish list. Perhaps that’s because Republicans helped write the bill (though many of them promptly turned around and helped tank it after Donald Trump announced his opposition). Among its provisions: $8 billion in emergency funding for ICE, including $3 billion to increase detentions; a mechanism to “shut down” the border if a certain number of people cross; $7 billion in emergency funding for Customs and Border Protection; and a continuation of Trump’s border wall. A few progressive-sounding add-ons aside, like freeing up a limited number of new visas and hiring some more lawyers, the legislation is a complete concession to the worst aspects of Trumpism that Biden and Democrats purportedly ran against in 2020. How do Democrats justify this lurch toward increased brutality at the border? Some appear to view it as a clever maneuver to beat the GOP at their own game. By adopting Republican framing and policy on immigration, and still getting rebuffed, this thinking goes, Democrats will show voters that Trump-driven hysteria is to blame for the supposed “crisis” at the border. It’s a confounding and amoral “gotcha” strategy, in which people seeking to move across the border in pursuit of safety, work, and a new home amount to little more than a mechanism for media narrative point-scoring.

[...]

Do Democrats now agree with the Republican party on immigration, ideologically? Their outward messaging appears to accept the premise that this hard-right bill will “fix the border” (whatever this means), so it seems they do. Top Democratic senators are proudly boosting an endorsement of the bill by the Border Patrol union, a far-right union with a history of promoting white nationalism and avidly backing Trump. MSNBC personality Al Sharpton, much to the right-wing media’s gratification, said in an interview with Senator Chris Murphy (D-Conn.) Tuesday that “we’re looking every day at the invasion of migrants”—positively Trumpian rhetoric. This seems like quite a pivot after Democratic party messaging ran in 2020 on criticizing Trump’s border policies and rhetoric as akin to Nazism. If so, do the Democrats now owe the GOP an apology? Or, do Democrats not really think these far-right policies are good, but are simply “calling Republicans’ bluff” to prove some broader meta-point? And if so, isn’t it quite a gamble to risk the immigration status of millions and stoke nativist fears to get some cutesy hypocrisy gotcha over on the Republicans? If Democrats can, seemingly overnight, radically alter their position on immigration from one that at least pretended to pay lip service to the humanity of those seeking a better life in the US to nonstop tough-guy posturing about “harsh,” “strict,” “tough” “border security,” then what message does this send to other vulnerable groups?

[tomorrowusa]

Four years ago today (March 13th), then President Donald Trump got around to declaring a national state of emergency for the COVID-19 pandemic. The administration had been downplaying the danger to the United States for 51 days since the first US infection was confirmed on January 22nd.

From an ABC News article dated 25 February 2020...

CDC warns Americans of 'significant disruption' from coronavirus

Until now, health officials said they'd hoped to prevent community spread in the United States. But following community transmissions in Italy, Iran and South Korea, health officials believe the virus may not be able to be contained at the border and that Americans should prepare for a "significant disruption." This comes in contrast to statements from the Trump administration. Acting Department of Homeland Security Secretary Chad Wolf said Tuesday the threat to the United States from coronavirus "remains low," despite the White House seeking $1.25 billion in emergency funding to combat the virus. Larry Kudlow, director of the National Economic Council, told CNBC’s Kelly Evans on “The Exchange” Tuesday evening, "We have contained the virus very well here in the U.S." [ ... ] House Speaker Nancy Pelosi called the request "long overdue and completely inadequate to the scale of this emergency." She also accused President Trump of leaving "critical positions in charge of managing pandemics at the National Security Council and the Department of Homeland Security vacant." "The president's most recent budget called for slashing funding for the Centers for Disease Control, which is on the front lines of this emergency. And now, he is compounding our vulnerabilities by seeking to ransack funds still needed to keep Ebola in check," Pelosi said in a statement Tuesday morning. "Our state and local governments need serious funding to be ready to respond effectively to any outbreak in the United States. The president should not be raiding money that Congress has appropriated for other life-or-death public health priorities." She added that lawmakers in the House of Representatives "will swiftly advance a strong, strategic funding package that fully addresses the scale and seriousness of this public health crisis." Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer also called the Trump administration's request "too little too late." "That President Trump is trying to steal funds dedicated to fight Ebola -- which is still considered an epidemic in the Democratic Republic of the Congo -- is indicative of his towering incompetence and further proof that he and his administration aren't taking the coronavirus crisis as seriously as they need to be," Schumer said in a statement.

A reminder that Trump had been leaving many positions vacant – part of a Republican strategy to undermine the federal government.

Here's a picture from that ABC piece from a nearly empty restaurant in San Francisco's Chinatown. The screen displays a Trump tweet still downplaying COVID-19 with him seeming more concerned about the effect of the Dow Jones on his re-election bid.

People were not buying Trump's claims but they were buying PPE.

I took this picture at CVS on February 26th that year.

The stock market which Trump in his February tweet claimed looked "very good" was tanking on March 12th – the day before his state of emergency declaration.

Trump succeeded in sending the US economy into recession much faster than George W. Bush did at the end of his term – quite a feat!. (As an aside, every recession in the US since 1981 has been triggered by Republican presidents.)

Of course Trump never stopped trying to downplay the pandemic nor did he ever take responsibility for it. The US ended up with the highest per capita death rate of any technologically advanced country.

Precious time was lost while Trump dawdled. Orange on this map indicates COVID infections while red indicates COVID deaths. At the time Trump declared a state of emergency, the virus had already spread to 49 states.

The United States could have done far better and it certainly had the tools to do so.

The Obama administration had limited the number of US cases of Ebola to under one dozen during that pandemic in the 2010s. Based on their success, they compiled a guide on how the federal government could limit future pandemics.

Obama team left pandemic playbook for Trump administration, officials confirm

Of course Trump ignored it.

Unlike those boxes of nuclear secrets in Trump's bathroom, the Obama pandemic limitation document is not classified. Anybody can read it – even if Trump didn't. This copy comes from the Stanford University Libraries.

TOWARDS EPIDEMIC PREDICTION: FEDERAL EFFORTS AND OPPORTUNITIES IN OUTBREAK MODELING

Feel free to share this post with anybody who still feels nostalgic about the Trump White House years!

[princessmotif]

as i said while discussing iroh as a character, despite the comics being a mess, i feel confident saying that at the end of atla, zuko not only realizes that azula has been harmed too, but he rightfully blames ozai for that harm (although ozai is not solely responsible for traumatizing azula).

as big of a win as that is for the possibility of the fire hazard siblings healing their relationship (zuko absolutely has to take the first step there in my opinon; azula would not be willing to at this point, and their relationship has been unbalanced in terms of care historically), their relationship is still quite tragic even with this realization.

there is no way that zuko actually understands what ozai did to azula. he doesn't even know what ozai did to azula. yes, he knows that ozai abused azula, but zuko only understands and knows abuse as he endured it.

there's also almost no way that azula is going to tell zuko about it. not only would she not want to discuss something so vulnerable in a serious or honest manner (see the way she discusses ursa in the beach), but she's also just had a serious psychotic break. it's very possible that she's not fit to see zuko at all right now, let alone discuss her trauma with him even if she wanted to.

so zuko is left to fill in the blanks about the how of azula's trauma. given his pattern of relating other people's trauma to his even when it's not actually the same (i.e. how he relates katara's trauma about kya being killed during the fire nation's genocide against her culture to his own trauma about ursa's disappearance after committing high treason), he would come to understand and conceive of how ozai abused azula through his own experience with ozai's abuse. while zuko's abuse was clearly always an implicit threat dangled over azula's head ("you can't treat me like zuko!") and ozai absolutely used some of the same tools against her that he did zuko, zuko was ozai's scapegoat child while azula was his golden child. their abuse did not look the same, it did not function the same, and it did not impact them the same.

it's also unlikely that he has the perspective at this stage in his own healing process to apply any of his (false) perceptions of azula's trauma to how it would have shaped both their childhood and his perspective of azula. he probably doesn't even realize just how deeply his perspective of her is colored by ozai's abuse of them both.

furthermore, since he's accepted his recollection of their childhood (which is not his fault. he is a victim of abuse who did not have the means or opportunity, as a young child, to see beyond ozai's more obvious abuse of him, which he couldn't even admit, to notice ozai's more subtle abuse of azula), he likely can only conceive of azula's childhood trauma in two ways:

as the byproduct of his own trauma, existing not because of azula's own traumatic childhood experiences but because of her witnessing his, such as the agni kai

as the product of his exile, occurring because he was no longer physically there for ozai to abuse and thus had to find a new target in azula

the former seems less probable given his belief that azula enjoyed his pain when they were children, so he would likely think that she was abused not when they were younger but exclusively after his exile began.

this isn't even touching on how zuko's perception of ursa and iroh clouds his ability to see how they both harmed azula too. that muddles things a lot more since zuko struggles with black and white thinking.

i think azula and zuko could heal their relationship with time and mutual effort, but as long as she refuses to confide in her brother and as long as he assumes she should experience and respond to trauma the same way he has, they're doomed to remain static in relation to each other.

[adiluv-moved]

❥ 𝐘𝐀𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐑𝐄 𝐀𝐋𝐏𝐇𝐀𝐁𝐄𝐓 — 𝐒𝐂𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐌𝐎𝐔𝐂𝐇𝐄. ˚⊹꒷

📓୧・꒰summary—wc꒱ affection, regret, and zenith. 1503.

🎸୧・꒰warnings꒱ yandere character ꒰forced/unhealthy relationship, manipulative behavior, mentions of abduction꒱, reader is not traveler, lightly edited.

💿୧・꒰adi moment꒱ sorry for the scara/wanderer posting, may or may not end up happening again! i've got mixed feelings on how this turned out, but yandere scaramouche owns my heart atm and i had to write something for him. hope you enjoy! ૮꒰..◜ᴗ◝..꒱ა ♡

as a disclaimer, i don't support yandere behavior in real life! please don’t interpret this post as justification for any of scaramouche's actions.

જ⁀➴ affection: how do they show their love and affection? ˚⊹꒷

Being openly affectionate is a rather difficult task for Scaramouche… though it isn’t exactly hard to understand why. Betrayal after betrayal combined with years of working beneath the Tsaritsa certainly don’t encourage emotional vulnerability, any tenderness he’d once possessed being forsaken for the sadistic persona he now proudly flaunts.

He’d used that very façade of his to attempt to push you away, back when he’d still had yet to realize just how desperately he needed you in his life. Affection from Scaramouche would remain a rarity between the both of you for quite some time, even after he’d taken you into his ꒰albeit forceful꒱ care. It was safer for him, that way. You weren’t exactly subtle with your discontentment, and the sting of abandonment wouldn’t hurt as badly if he kept you at a distance.

But when he asks—no, demands a hug from you—you’ve really got no choice but to oblige. 

At first, he’s hesitant in the embrace, hands shakily grasping and pulling at the fabric on the back of your shirt as you hold him. Although without the need for air, the stiffness of his body made it seem as though his breath had gotten stuck in his throat, mechanical grasp erratically tightening and loosening as he attempted to adjust. Once he finally does, he absolutely refuses to allow you to pull away, keeping you still in his grip for well over a minute before he finally relents. His eyes are wet as you glance at him, a tear-stained blotch on your clothing as he hurriedly barks for you to turn away.

Despite his initial reaction, these commands for physical affection only become more and more frequent afterwards—much to your distress. Beginning with those awkward hugs and culminating in full blown cuddle sessions ꒰one-sided as they usually are꒱, Scaramouche gradually allows himself to become more and more acquainted with the softness of your touch.

Gift-giving is also a rather common habit of his. As strange as it is for him to be jealous, considering that you aren’t even allowed to sit in the manor’s garden unattended, he just can’t help but worry about you. Seeing you decorated in clothing and accessories of his choosing alleviates his worries, reminding him that you’re still his, even when he might be far away on one of the Tsaritsa’s missions.

It starts out small. A gold necklace. An intricate bracelet, the design of which mimicking the traditional Inazuman motifs found on his clothing.

But it’s not long until he has you fitted for the garments themselves, tailors indebted to the Fatui hauled over from the solitary nation to create an entirely new wardrobe. Scaramouche, of course, oversees the entire process. Not a single detail is overlooked, with him comparing different samples of designs and forcing them to start over whenever he’s displeased with one of their creations. Any attempts to get him to loosen up are met with harsh glares—the same reasoning repeated to you every time. 

“Their debts will be paid by their labor,” he’ll justify, “A mercy considering the Fatui’s usual methodology.” Unless they want to find a permanent residence amongst the cadavers in Dottore’s lab, incompetence simply isn’t something he’ll tolerate.

And, sure, the expense is one that causes a fair share of annoyance from the other Harbingers—especially Pantalone, who was made to fund the operation—though it’s hard to pay any attention to his vexed murmurs when you look so good in the finished pieces.

જ⁀➴ regret: would they ever feel guilty about abducting their darling? ˚⊹꒷

Scaramouche? Feel bad? When he’s doing you such a gracious favor? Archons, now that might just be the funniest thing he’s heard in a while. In his eyes, it should really be you that feels bad. You should be sobbing at his feet, begging him to forgive you for your oh so constant insolence—your endless whining and complaining.

After all, how could he possibly ever expect to feel pity for the circumstances you’ve found yourself in? You, who’s currently ‘trapped’ within a mansion more luxurious than you could’ve previously imagined. You, who he makes sure is both well fed and dressed—who has countless Fatui guards at your every beck and call. You, who he specifically keeps safe from the many dangers of the world you so stupidly wish to explore. You, who he endures some of Dottore’s more gruesome experiments for—just so your DNA can be preserved in case of tragedy. 

In actuality, the thought that he’d regret ‘taking you’ from your ‘home’... it’s just pathetic to him.

You’re innocent. Naïve. Foolish, to be totally honest. How could you possibly hope to survive out there without his protection? Teyvat is not nearly as safe as you wish to believe, the gods that you find reprieve in oftentimes uncaring to the suffering of their believers. He knows that from experience, and yet you still refuse to believe him. Everything that he’s done is for your sake, ungrateful as you are—it’s a miracle that he hasn’t exposed you to the true nature of the world in order to stop your incessant nagging. 

Scaramouche doesn’t even think he asks much of you, either. All that he expects you to do is sit still. Remain by his side, allow him to shower you with love and ꒰more importantly꒱ keep you safe. Not… sulking around in the room he’d prepared specifically for you, not wildly declaring that ‘you’d never asked him for his protection!’—no, not at all!

So, no, he doesn’t feel any sort of remorse for his actions. What he's done is simply for your own good, and you’re simply foolish to not appreciate that. If he didn’t love you as much as he did, you would’ve been disposed of a long time ago. At the very least… be grateful for that.

જ⁀➴ zenith: would they ever break their darling? ˚⊹꒷

In a way, it’s simply an inevitability with him. Entanglement with the Fatui has rarely ever spelt out positive outcomes for those involved, something you’ll learn because of Scaramouche’s attempts to protect you. Living within his carefully constructed dollhouse doesn’t do much to dim the memories of your old life, nor does it do anything to quell the urge for freedom burning deep within your bones. Awareness of the world you’d once known and fear at the very notion of being struck beneath his control for the rest of your life… None of it bodes well for your mental health, either.

Lacing it with the violence made common from the Fatui, or the punishments inflicted on you in hopes of finally destroying your will to escape ꒰whether they be physical or mental꒱—it’s really no surprise to see the ambitious spark within your eyes eventually being snuffed out.

Isolation alone is already enough to drive the average person insane. With all that you’ve been dealing with on top of that, it’s honestly quite commendable that it doesn’t happen sooner.

At first, Scaramouche doesn’t take this new development of yours well. Your lack of response, lack of reaction to even the cruelest insults of his being hurled at you—to even his mere presence—it freaks him out, slipping beneath his guard and making him feel as though you’ve already abandoned him. Really, how dare you not pay attention to him? Are you mad? Or is this just your latest attempt at escape? Aren’t you just trying to fool him? To make him believe that you’d learned your place just to turn around and sneak away? 

It must be.

He doesn’t leave your side unless necessary, having his soldiers keep watch on you whenever something pulls him away. Whatever new game you’re playing at, he’s determined in his attempts to stop you before you can take a single step outside. Days turn into weeks. Weeks into months. His patience wears thin, the realization you still haven’t done anything hovering over him and sending him into frenzies. But coupled with your newfound compliance to his commands, the way that you numbly follow along with any plans he makes for the both of you—well, he’s eventually forced to realize that you don’t even intend to try running.

As much as he finds himself enjoying your obedience, a part of him simply can’t help but miss your spark. The delicious fear that glazed over your eyes when you were caught doing something suspicious, the fits of passion that led you to stupidly defy his orders… They’d been aspects of you—aspects of the version of you Scaramouche initially fell in love with, the version of you that stubbornly persisted when you still had the opportunity to back away from him.

But this version of you doesn’t move away whenever he pulls you into his arms, doesn’t recoil from the touch of his fingers as if he’d somehow burnt you. This version of you doesn’t cry and beg him to go outside, doesn’t fight against him when he goes on tangents confessing his love to you—occasionally grants him the chance to hear an ‘I love you, too.’ slipping past your lips.

Ultimately… that’s good enough for him.

i have a taglist, which you can sign up for here!

[justzawe]

Zawe Ashton Covers AMAZING Magazine | Issue 4

Actor, author, playwright and new mum Zawe Ashton adds another string to her bow: supervillain. As she joins the Marvel Cinematic Universe, she tells AMAZING about her love of poetry, getting physical on the set of The Marvels and the unwavering support of her own parents.

Zawe Ashton is no stranger to playing the antagonist. From her very first film role as rude schoolgirl Bianca in 2009’s St Trinian's 2: The Legend Of Fritton's Gold, to playing the intimidatingly cool Violet “Vod” Nordstrom in four seasons of student sitcom Fresh Meat and – more recently - as the rejected Julia Thistlewaite in 2022 period drama, Mr. Malcolm’s List, Ashton has a knack for taking on characters who appear unlikeable on paper… and making audiences fall in love with them. However, for her latest role as Dar-Benn in The Marvels, she had to go full villain.

“Very little can prepare you to have to embody an antagonist at this level, in a Universe that is literally not known to anyone – like our Space - and to make it real and impactful,” says the London-born actor, a new recruit to the Marvel Cinematic Universe. “There's something deeply humbling about having to return to the sandbox; you have to go back to the playground and that was something I was not expecting. You have to indulge in adult play and it’s surprisingly vulnerable. I know that there are gamers out there, there are cosplayers out there, there are adults who have managed to keep that level of childlike play going and I respect it so much. There's a self-consciousness that can take over if you are not careful. Trying to react realistically to a laser coming towards you is not something I’d done since I was seven years old, and I had to get to that level of childlike confidence to just delve into the imagination. Once that was all clearer, the villainous elements came so much from the physical world, with costume and hair.”

For 39-year-old Ashton, adult play will likely become a more frequent fixture in her life, thanks to her most exciting new role – as a mother. She welcomed her first child in 2022 with fiancé Tom Hiddleston, her co-star in the 2019 revival of Harold Pinter's Betrayal on London’s West End, later transferred to Broadway. “What has genuinely surprised me about motherhood is how much I don't feel ready to talk about it,” she laughs. “And this isn’t to shut down the conversation. I have gained so much insight from public people who have this incredible candour and this disarming, relatable dialogue about it very early on, but it's something that I am just dedicating time to absorbing. I’m listening rather than expelling energy. That genuinely has surprised me, because it's something you want to shout from the rooftops about; it's the most unparalleled, most important role in my life. The surprise has been how quiet I want to be about it. Maybe that's also me as a writer and this is something that will come through the pen at some point.”

Ashton attended London’s Anna Scher Theatre School from the age of six and was a member of the National Youth Theatre, before getting her degree in acting at Manchester Metropolitan University, but writing has always been significant in her life. She won the London Poetry Slam Championship in 2000, becoming the event’s youngest winner, at 17. “I may have been knocked off that pillar long ago, but in my head I'm still the youngest,” she laughs. “I love poetry. I had not written for a really long time; during the pandemic I lost a huge chunk of my creative soul when it came to putting pen to paper, which was really scary and was clearly the fallout of being in survival mode and feeling quite fearful. People's attention spans just went all sorts of different ways, didn't they? It was very hard for me to read, and it was very hard for me to write, which is very strange for me.

“More recently, a friend of mine from drama school who I used to do open mic nights with in Manchester – I used to perform poetry and she used to sing - asked me to write a poem for her wedding. I had a few moments where it was really tough, but I did it. I love her and I'm so happy for her, and being inspired enough to get a poem out and read it aloud really opened the floodgates. So, weirdly enough, I've been writing a lot of poetry recently and found a new love for it. I will always continue to use poetry as a way to understand the world. It's just so much part of who I am.”

For Zawe's full interview and shoot, order your copy of AMAZING issue 4 now. The Marvels is out now.

[amiiancasselmanyet]

Fix Me is a Mid 2000's Classic, You're Just Not From Canada

before I start this essay series, I would like to clarify that this is NOT a series of reviews but just me genuinely expressing my feelings I have towards the albums in question because I’m a highschool dropout…bon appetite or whatever

also tw for eating disorders, self harm, general mental illness and addiction but this is fix me, you probably knew that

When most people think about early to mid 2000s rock albums that became staples and bands that became household names, there's a few that genuinely come to mind. Let’s get the “emo trinity” out of the way; From Under The Cork Tree was Fall Out Boys sophomore album from 2005 that is still widely loved for good reason. The songs are good and the lyrics hit when you least expect it. Every. Single. Time. Then, of course, we have The Black Parade. I cannot express my love of this album enough, it is quite literally my all time favorite and while Three Cheers has a more solid concept (man kills other men to try and get his lover back, homosexual antics ensues), there's a reason it’s arguably their most well known and beloved by the kids who used to bully you in middle school. Of course we have A Fever You Can’t Sweat Out coming in right after this, there’s not much I can say since this album truly deserves it’s own essay that I won't manage to write (Ryan Ross please come back the kids and I miss you) but, like the other albums, it's a STAPLE at Emo Nites and Emo Nite knockoffs (shout out to Sneaky Dees in Toronto). There is, however, an album among them that's a hidden gem due to the fact that . Fix Me was the debut studio album from Marianas Trench, arriving in 2006. This album stands out from the others in a lot of ways, its sound, its vulnerability and its general lack of a concept. This album was a shot in the dark and a testament to taking chances. Let's talk about it. 

If you’re even a little bit familiar with Marianas Trench (you definitely are because you are on a blog dedicated to the drummer, my beloved bias Ian Casselman), the sound you’re used to most likely isn’t here. This album is gritty, it’s production is grungy. When you look at the other albums at face value, it stands out as nothing like the rest. If you dig deeper, however, you realize that this album truly was the foundation of what was to come. The guitar heavy sound continues throughout the discography, even if it feels less clean than its successors. It adds to the aggression a lot of the songs have, it makes the lyrics hit harder. It was too rock for the pop charts but too pop for the rock charts.(I’m pretty sure Josh said that but this thing isn’t getting a bibliography, this is a more sophisticated shit post on a blog that, again, focuses on the silly drummer with mutton chops) While the sound is incredible, the true core of the album lies in its vulnerability.

Fix Me is essentially an auditory diary, with each track feeling like a new entry. There are themes focusing on the actual struggles Josh Ramsay dealt with at the time. There’s a lot about addiction (specifically heroin), self harm, eating disorders (specifically bulimia) and general depression. It's angsty. It's difficult  to hear at times. You're not supposed to get personal during essays but this is literally on a blog where I refer to the followers as “casselman nation”, it’s a lawless land and fuck you I’ll do what I want. This album, at its core, felt like it was almost a diary entry from a younger me. 

14 year old me was very different from the current me, I had a different name entirely, a different outlook on life and a lot of things that shaped me today had not happened yet. I was unmedicated and everyone else's problem. If you ever scroll down on the personal tag of my main (you WILL NOT, you DO NOT need to see my digital footprint and angst), you'll notice that there's a lot of themes on this album that pertained to me at that time. I was VERY depressed, undiagnosed bipolar 2, bulimic and…doing things in school bathrooms I shouldn't have with items from my art class I shouldn't have had access to in that state (not going to elaborate, I’m sure you get where I’m going). When you deal with those things head on, you tend to, from experience, seek out public figures, whether it be musicians or celebrities or youtubers (shout out to Dan and Phil lmao) who have similar experiences that you had. For me, a big one from the get go was Marianas Trench. There’s something oddly comforting in not only knowing you’re not only alone but that you’re ALSO going to survive. I truly wish I was able to hug 14 year old me but I also know that they’d be proud that I DIDN’T do the thing I wanted to do before I turned 17.

There’s another reason Fix Me is truly removed from other albums and it truly feels like the biggest component; there's no concept. Fix Me has its own identity but it's not through a story or through successful singles, it's through the fact that it has none of it. It shines through its simplicity, its impact is through the way it can stand alone. It’s an album by the band that could be, and should be at times, put on shuffle. It’s an album where you can pick any song, off the top of your head, and listen to it when you’re feeling angry or sad or full of unbridled angst. Sure, you CAN listen to other songs on other albums one at a time, Masterpiece Theatre is the first on I can think of off the top of my head, however, would you want to? Would you want to listen to The End of An Era and have it followed up with a song like This Means War? It 100% kills the immersive nature that the band has carefully crafted over the last 20 years. (yes they’ve been a band that long considering the fix me bsides are from 2001, yes it makes me feel geriatric) I think the biggest reason that it personally hits every mark imaginable for a grungy punk record is the fact that there is no secret meaning hidden in each song, its open and honest from the get go. It’s raw, real and does exactly what it needs to do.

Through its sound, its ability to be honest and vulnerable in its writing and the easily accessible material, it's a staple. Shake Tramp belongs in an Emo Nite just as much as something like Sugar We’re Going Down and more than Welcome to the Black Parade (I love that song but it doesn’t fit the vibe as well as House of Wolves or The Sharpest Lives, Emo Nite is just catering to the normies and preps). Decided to Break Its video should be as beloved as I Write Sins Not Tragedies. Marianas Trench deserve their flowers for being such a staple in the lives of canadian teens who are struggling, the adults who want to comfort their inner teen selves and those who, in general, are feeling small.

[cursedvibes]

What is so special about Takaba that can made him cause the downfall of Kenjaku? Sorry if it's a dumb ask. I was so shock when it really is the end for Kenjaku.....

Also, if Takaba vs Sukuna, can you imagine the outcome? Like, personally, I think the fight will end < 5 seconds......🤣

I actually think the fight between Sukuna and Takaba would be quite long, assuming neither of them loses interest halfway through. Takaba isn't gonna kill Sukuna, just (unintentionally) wear down his consciousness and soul, while Sukuna also can't hurt Takaba. The only thing that might hurt Takaba is the world-bisecting Dismantle and I'm not even sure about that. This Dismantle cuts existence, but Takaba's cursed technique can alter reality, so would this cut be effective or also subject to Comedian? Anyway, I think a fight between them would be a very pointless back-and-forth.

Now as for why Takaba is so special: in short, he is exactly what Kenjaku had been looking for, what they wanted deep down and being led to indulge in that and allow to emotionally connect with someone else is what made them vulnerable to Yuuta's attack.

All Kenjaku wants is entertainment, discovering new things and also sharing them with others, even if or especially when those people disagree with them. Before the fight started, Kenjaku was kind of lost. They achieved their life-long goal of capturing Tengen, the merger should be imminent, but they discovered that that won't give them Tengen's attention either and on top of that, they essentially lost their oldest friend. Even if Tengen wanted to talk back, by being under Kenjaku's control she lost all will and that is boring. She stopped being an equal.

So the person Kenjaku strived against and who they did all this for is gone. On top of that the Culling Game turned out less exciting than they thought. Everything was quite predictable and there wasn't as much chaos as they had hoped. Even the foreign nations invading and Sukuna switching vessels was quite predictable from Kenjaku's point of view. All they could do was go through the colonies and kill the remaining players to start the merger of Tengen and the Japanese population in hopes that at least that will be interesting to witness. Throughout all that they were still looking for someone who could fill that void their dwindling number of friends caused (mainly Tengen).

That's when Takaba shows up and disrupts all that, already drawing Kenjaku's attention through his extra-ordinary cursed technique.

Takaba is there with the stated purpose to steal the show and Kenjaku agrees with him because this kind of distraction is exactly what they were looking for. A fun little side project of trying to figure out this clown. The main difference between Kenjaku and Sukuna is that Kenjaku entered this fight with the will to change and take in new perspectives, very unlike Sukuna, who currently makes it his job to try to make Yuuji bend to his worldview. Takaba was so effective on Kenjaku because Kenjaku was willing to engage with him from the beginning and was open to whatever insanity Takaba suggested because things were getting quite boring anyway, so why not. He peeked their curiosity.

Kenjaku is searching for entertainment and Takaba is willing to give that to them. He proposes to find something more interesting/funny for Kenjaku than the merger and Kenjaku even says they might be willing to let go of their merger plan if he succeeds. Even when they just met, Kenjaku was willing to consider his perspective because they were unsatisfied with how their current plan was turning out. All Kenjaku wants is something unexpected and that is what they got in their fight against Takaba.

The following "fight" they continue to have this open perspective for Takaba's actions. Any time things get a little too personal or they feel his technique trying to influence them, they shut down, but they stay open to his spoken suggestions. When he declares he will make them laugh so hard they will puke up their stomach they are entertained and even the promise of a good one-liner gets them excited.

Which is something I really appreciated about this fight, it showed us who Kenjaku is when they aren't in villain mode. They are quite normal, bit wacky, but most importantly very human and that's the part Takaba brought out of them through their shared love for comedy. And that is what made them lose the fight. They stopped thinking about their insane merger plan, Sukuna's fight, the people they still needed to kill and essentially just "relaxed" and were able to be themselves. Playing around with Takaba's reality-bending technique is what made them actually enjoy the Culling Game, not the prospect of the merger or the bloodshed or whatever. Simply put, Takaba gave them something they didn't experience for hundreds of years because their fixation on Tengen and consequent plan always took precedent. Through that fixation Kenjaku lost what actually made them happy and excited, but they were too far gone to turn back.

Takaba brought that back through their comedy show. The comedy show is essentially all Kenjaku is looking for, in a very ordinary setting. It is a quick exchange of ideas and thought experiments. Since the show was improvised, both had to think on their feet and adapt to each other. They both surprise each other and have to adjust to the new scenarios. It's unpredictable due to the other person's input. Both being able to keep up and build on what the other offered is what made Kenjaku enjoy the experience. It's not just Kenjaku pushing things forward, but a team effort and simply through that they have less control over the process. That goes back to what Kenjaku said in Shibuya, about wanting to create something that exceeded their own expectations and that they have no control over. This isn't applied to people, curses or cursed energy, but I think it is still what this all comes down to and exactly that it is so ordinary compared to what Kenjaku previously stated they were searching for in the Death Paintings for example is what's important here, I think.

The comedy show was like the illusions they threw at each other before, just in a more grounded setting. Which showed us that Kenjaku doesn't need complex techniques or world shattering events to have fun, be entertained or intrigued. Being able to be themselves and goofing around with someone else who is exactly on their insane wavelength was enough. Comes back to highlighting Kenjaku's humanity beneath all those insane and cruel plans.

Kenjaku wasn't willing to quite accept what Takaba provided them throughout the fight either, holding very desperately on to their carefully curated and collected image that allowed them to go through with their 5D chess plan. Takaba tried to pry them away from that with his antics, but they resisted instinctively. But when they determined the scenario (the comedy show) and there was no emotional manipulation present through Takaba's technique, they ended up having the most fun. They were concentrated on their skits with Takaba, essentially indulging in what they claimed to be their determining factors for friendship and they both didn't want any interruptions to that little bubble they created, which was when Yuuta pried on that emotional vulnerability Kenjaku showed.

So you could say Takaba manages to involve Kenjaku personally and worked through all those defences to pry out Kenjaku's true character. I don't mean this in a "Kenjaku is actually a pure little bean" way, I think they always had a very morbid humour and their curiosity and search for entertainment eventually became obsessive. Likely influenced by their split from Tengen. Tengen seemed to have been the person Kenjaku was most fixated on initially and who they relied on for friendship, attention, fun and exchange of ideas. And when eventually they didn't get that anymore, they became forceful. Takaba instinctively tapped into that original need, since he himself is also very desperate for connection, validation and someone who he can have fun with and indulge in his passions with. They are very similar in that regard and that was why they hit it off so well.

Kenjaku's last words summarize it pretty well. They echo what Kenjaku realized during their fight with Takaba, except here they don't deny that feeling and there is no cursed technique forcing them to say this. It is unfortunate that they had to tap out before seeing the result of the merger themselves, but they got what they had actually been looking for. Their time with Takaba was one of the most entertaining things they experienced in their life and going out on that high-note makes their death less painful. The base need for fun with someone who doesn't bore them was fulfilled, Takaba managed to do what he initially set out to do at the beginning of the fight.

Kenjaku still put everything in place for the merger to be carried out, but I think what's important here is the focus of their actions. All they ensure is that Tengen won't die with them and that Sukuna has the means to start the merger if he wants to. They don't force him however, in the end it is still up to Sukuna to decide what should happen and that unpredictability is what Kenjaku actually enjoys. Something they can't control. It is unfortunate that they won't get to see it, but that seems to be alright with them. The way I interpret their last words is that they had their fun at the end of their life and now it is up to Yuuta, Sukuna & Co. to find their own deadly entertainment.

So essentially it all came down to Takaba matching Kenjaku's particular brand of insanity, tapping into their special interest and he also showed up at a time when Kenjaku was already questioning their decisions and was very desperate for meaningful company. Then Yuuta showed up and burst that bubble.

Overall, I think it is actually a very good end for Kenjaku because it showed us who Kenjaku is at their core and how they might have initially started out before the fixation on Tengen and the merger took over their life. As The Mastermind and main villain Kenjaku is in control, but by going back to the basic need for companionship and simple entertainment Kenjaku made themselves vulnerable. Indulging in these attachments (ones Sukuna claims to not have btw) they lost. Plays into the theme of strength=loneliness and consequently emotional attachments bring "weakness" as we also often see with Yuuji.

The timing of Kenjaku's death is bad, especially because we haven't gotten any meaningful interactions between the main villain and main character, who are also parent and child. Quite the missed opportunity...and well, having Yuuta do the beheading didn't fit there either, since he's completely removed from all that. I have to say though, chapter 249 made me like Kenjaku's death a lot more. It doesn't even really feel like a defeat because the main threat isn't gone and Kenjaku went out feeling satisfied with how things went. The experiences they had with Takaba feel like a good end for them, it just came too early in the story.

[thispatternismine]

ATLA live action impressions part 2

Following on from last night's post, here are my impressions of eps 5-8

Still really loved it. Gonna be tarred & feathered for this but I actually like it better than the animated show

Highlights:

Ozai giving Zuko credit for finding the Avatar. There's this weird idea in the fandom that Ozai never intended to take Zuko back. Even though we saw him do exactly that at the beginning of Book 3. Yes he set an impossible task, but when Zuko (apparently) achieved it, he was like 'ok yeah cool - you have met my standards'. Sure, there's no way Zuko would have continued to meet those standards if he'd stuck around, but Ozai did actually keep his word. The fact that he does it to make sure Azula knows she's overstepped & remind her she's replaceable, is an especially nice touch

Getting to see how Azula is treated by her father. I've seen way too many people try to claim Azula was never abused because she wasn't literally set on fire like he was. Never mind that she avoided that fate only because she was able to meet his standards. And having to constantly strive to meet the standards set by someone who thinks 'find a guy who's been missing for a century' is a suitable task to set his kid is abuse.

Another annoying tendency of the fandom is to flanderise Ozai into some diabolical caricature who spends all his time thinking up new ways to torment poor Zuzu, so having that scene of him banishing Zuko was a nice touch. He genuinely believes he is being a good dad & raising his kid to be strong (note: This isn't me saying Ozai is right - I'm saying he thinks he's right.)

The 41st Division 😭

Iroh & Ozai interacting with each other

Gyatso!

I spy some female soldiers! A problem with the animated show was that it's all well & good deciding that the Fire Nation has female soldiers, but bias is a thing & 99.9% of the time if you ask someone to draw a soldier it'll be a man. Yeah sure they all stayed to guard the Fire Nation that's why we didn't see any till Book 3 suuure

"Anything you need." "It has to do with Koh." "Anything but that." DYING

Aang's whole speech to Zuko about how helpful his notebook was (let's be real Iroh probably sighed & told him it was a waste of time so this was the first time he heard 'Hey good job on the Avatar research!') & the way they bonded before he unwittingly set Zuko off

"Quit it before they think there's something wrong with you. More than there already is."

"The Firelord deems your performance... below average." OOF. Pretty sure that's the worst thing you can possibly say to Azula. She'd much rather be told she sucked outright than just 'meh'

Waterbender Yue

Non-arsehole Hahn

Using Kuruk lore from the Kyoshi books!

I like the changes to the NWT siege. Having the spirits' mortality be an occasional, temporary thing to gain an appreciation of life that occurs during a full moon when the powers of those who will protect them in that state are at their peak, makes more sense than permanent vulnerability that relies on nobody finding out. Also never made sense that a naval officer was stationed in a fucking desert & was able to just take time off to go through a spirit library, so having Zhao find his info from the Fire Sages works better IMO. I do hope we'll still get the spirit library though

Ozai's lil eyetwitch when Azula backtalked him like if you agree

Haven't mentioned yet but I love the costumes in this

Also never mentioned Momo, the Real Hero of ATLA

Sokka continues to be awesome

Lowlights:

June calling Iroh cute & fawning over him. Normally I'd think it's unfair for the live action version of a character to be held accountable for what the animated version did, but this leaves a bad taste in my mouth. Like og!Iroh's groping of June being treated like a joke has been called out many times so they fucking had to know what they were doing

Why isn't Azula's fire blue? We got like 1 second of it & that's it. Maybe consistent blue flames are a power up she'll obtain later idk

[yukidragon]

I wonder how Jack would react to Sunshine investigating his past (i.e. Joseph Cullman). How would he react even if MC assures him that they love him even with all the ugly and bad things he may have done/happened to him?

Jack seems to have a lot of issues thinking of his past in general, if not outright trauma towards the idea of being the person he used to be. I think investigating his past is going to be part of the game’s story, no matter what choices the player makes. No doubt this will worry Jack quite a bit...

I think love and reassurance from MC is going to go a long way to help Jack handle the idea of them learning more about the person he used to be. Even then, I can imagine he would still try to redirect them away from it. It would be a defense mechanism if nothing else.

MC saying that they love Jack regardless of whatever skeletons are hiding in his closet... I think that would mean a lot, but at the same time he might not believe it so easily. Not that he thinks they’re a liar or doesn’t trust them! Never! It’s just that the past has left such a scar on him that he can’t even handle it. “Perfect” Sunny Day Jack can’t handle it... can’t even handle not being perfect.

I’ve theorized that Joseph was neglected by his parents as a child. He only got attention when he acted out, and of course it was always negative attention about what a worthless burden he was... He ran away from that life and reinvented himself. He worked out to get buff, and the implication was that he did it for a reason, which I think was to be appealing to other people, to finally find love.

After Joseph changed his surname to Haberdae (and possibly his first name to something else as well), things got better for him. He was regarded as a good man by his fellow cast members, invited to a wedding... It’s implied they were friends. That’s something good that came out of his new life. Along with that was his role as Sunny Day Jack that took off and was beloved across the nation.

Joseph was overworked by the studio. I can imagine he felt so much pressure to keep doing appearances, to keep making episodes. Strike while the iron is hot. Don’t risk losing this popularity. If he doesn’t, then he might lose it all...

This level of stress... it’s damaging to people. We see it a lot in the entertainment industry. That overwhelming need to perform and that mixed joy of success that brings with it more crushing expectations.

Then Jack was murdered in front of the children he tried so hard to do right by... and LambsWork Productions buried his memory.

The entire legacy he created was completely erased... as if it never happened... as if it never mattered... as if he and all of his struggles and pain and the lengths he went to in order to create this legacy for himself meant absolutely nothing in the end.

It’s possible this feeling of perfectionism, of being able to be and do everything in order to succeed was something Jack was suffering from when he was still Joseph/[Redacted]. It’s possible that those feelings lingered as he died so suddenly and with regrets, burying himself in the role to protect his psyche from hell and because it was something that consumed his life.

Being Sunny Day Jack, fully taking the identity of his own... I think that brings Jack some comfort in the present. Sunny Day Jack is perfect, if only in his eyes. It’s possible that getting the role of Jack was the first time his life felt fulfilling. It got him friends, attention, fame, and adoration from so many across the nation.

It also brought him and his sunshine together.

Words of assurance from his sunshine that they accept him no matter what... that will help a lot, but I think Jack will struggle to fully accept it. I think what will help more is when he does falter, has moments where he is less than ideal, vulnerable... and MC still loves him and supports him anyway. His “perfect” mask of Sunny Day Jack gets cracks in it, letting them see the ugliness of “Joseph” underneath. If they see him and aren’t afraid... that would go a long way to help this phantom realize that he doesn’t have to hide behind the mask all the time.

I think it’s going to be something of a process to help Jack accept the flawed parts of himself and that it doesn’t make him “unclean” or anything like that. However, I think that with enough time he can learn to be more vulnerable around MC, more human, and in turn regain some of the humanity he lost. Then he might have a little easier time accepting who he used to be, even if he might still want to keep the name of Jack now.

This sort of acceptance and healing is what I have in mind for Sunshine in Hell. Despite Jack convincing himself that he can be anything he wants to be, including someone as “superior” as Sunny Day Jack, he is a very flawed, even broken individual who is desperate for love. MC is a wounded soul as well, and I think their story could be a lovely one of two damaged individuals helping each other heal.

Of course I can also see how it would end very badly if the wrong decisions are made, but that won’t happen to Alice and Jack in Sunshine in Hell. By the power vested in me as a writer, I will give their story a happy ending!

...Even if it takes a lot longer than I’d like to finally get the next darn chapter published already.

@channydraws @earthgirlaesthetic @sai-of-the-7-stars @cheriihoney @illary-kore @okamiliqueur 

[zawescource]

Actor, author, playwright and new mum Zawe Ashton adds another string to her bow: supervillain. As she joins the Marvel Cinematic Universe, she tells AMAZING about her love of poetry, getting physical on the set of The Marvels and the unwavering support of her own parents.

Zawe Ashton is no stranger to playing the antagonist. From her very first film role as rude schoolgirl Bianca in 2009’s St Trinian's 2: The Legend Of Fritton's Gold, to playing the intimidatingly cool Violet “Vod” Nordstrom in four seasons of student sitcom Fresh Meat and – more recently - as the rejected Julia Thistlewaite in 2022 period drama, Mr. Malcolm’s List, Ashton has a knack for taking on characters who appear unlikeable on paper… and making audiences fall in love with them. However, for her latest role as Dar-Benn in The Marvels, she had to go full villain.

“Very little can prepare you to have to embody an antagonist at this level, in a Universe that is literally not known to anyone – like our Space - and to make it real and impactful,” says the London-born actor, a new recruit to the Marvel Cinematic Universe. “There's something deeply humbling about having to return to the sandbox; you have to go back to the playground and that was something I was not expecting. You have to indulge in adult play and it’s surprisingly vulnerable. I know that there are gamers out there, there are cosplayers out there, there are adults who have managed to keep that level of childlike play going and I respect it so much. There's a self-consciousness that can take over if you are not careful. Trying to react realistically to a laser coming towards you is not something I’d done since I was seven years old, and I had to get to that level of childlike confidence to just delve into the imagination. Once that was all clearer, the villainous elements came so much from the physical world, with costume and hair.”

For 39-year-old Ashton, adult play will likely become a more frequent fixture in her life, thanks to her most exciting new role – as a mother. She welcomed her first child in 2022 with fiancé Tom Hiddleston, her co-star in the 2019 revival of Harold Pinter's Betrayal on London’s West End, later transferred to Broadway. “What has genuinely surprised me about motherhood is how much I don't feel ready to talk about it,” she laughs. “And this isn’t to shut down the conversation. I have gained so much insight from public people who have this incredible candour and this disarming, relatable dialogue about it very early on, but it's something that I am just dedicating time to absorbing. I’m listening rather than expelling energy. That genuinely has surprised me, because it's something you want to shout from the rooftops about; it's the most unparalleled, most important role in my life. The surprise has been how quiet I want to be about it. Maybe that's also me as a writer and this is something that will come through the pen at some point.”

Ashton attended London’s Anna Scher Theatre School from the age of six and was a member of the National Youth Theatre, before getting her degree in acting at Manchester Metropolitan University, but writing has always been significant in her life. She won the London Poetry Slam Championship in 2000, becoming the event’s youngest winner, at 17. “I may have been knocked off that pillar long ago, but in my head I'm still the youngest,” she laughs. “I love poetry. I had not written for a really long time; during the pandemic I lost a huge chunk of my creative soul when it came to putting pen to paper, which was really scary and was clearly the fallout of being in survival mode and feeling quite fearful. People's attention spans just went all sorts of different ways, didn't they? It was very hard for me to read, and it was very hard for me to write, which is very strange for me.

“More recently, a friend of mine from drama school who I used to do open mic nights with in Manchester – I used to perform poetry and she used to sing - asked me to write a poem for her wedding. I had a few moments where it was really tough, but I did it. I love her and I'm so happy for her, and being inspired enough to get a poem out and read it aloud really opened the floodgates. So, weirdly enough, I've been writing a lot of poetry recently and found a new love for it. I will always continue to use poetry as a way to understand the world. It's just so much part of who I am.”

For Zawe's full interview and shoot, order your copy of AMAZING issue 4 now. The Marvels is out now.

[lok-repository]

10 year anniversary article from IGN. Has quotes from Joaquim Dos Santos, Lauren Montgomery, Bryan Konietzko, Michael DiMartino and Janet Varney. Discusses Korra as a character, her villains, her legacy, serialized storytelling, and using technology in Avatar Studios.

On Korra: ...there was a simple choice to her character that made The Legend of Korra special — the series allowed Korra to make mistakes. Sure, Aang got in trouble constantly, but it wasn’t like he personally caused the genocide of the Air Nation or gave powers to the Fire Lord to start a war. With Korra, we see her make big decisions that affect the entire world, many of them mistakes. She trusts the wrong people, acts too hastily, and lives to see the consequences of her errors and learn from them.

Take the end of Season 3, which shows Korra in a wheelchair following a fight with the villain Zaheer, a plot point that carried on throughout Season 4 as she dealt with PTSD. "We wanted to age up the tone of the show together with the character and the audience," Konietzko says. "We never wanted her to be a typical American cartoon character who is just perfect and perfectly likable."

"By allowing Korra to be flawed, vulnerable, and weak at times, the show made her incredibly strong," adds supervising producer Lauren Montgomery. "A big misconception in animation and media these days is that a female character needs to be smarter and stronger than anyone else to be strong, and Korra's imperfection and character arc is what makes watching her rewarding." --- As an aside, I don't think the end of B3 is an example of Korra because she deliberately took Zuko's advice and acted quite selflessly in trying to save the air nation. I also do find it a bit odd how people tend to be overly critical of how to write women protagonists when we don't see similar hand-wringing with male protagonists. --- On the villains: "We wanted each season to have a villain that reflected a different aspect of Korra that she had to deal with," DiMartino says. "They forced her to deal with her black and white view of the world and the whole point of Avatar is balance, so we have these interesting characters that took their ideas to dangerous and unhealthy extremes that unbalance things. It doesn't mean they are pure evil, as they even have ideas that overlap with the protagonist, but they are out of balance and dangerous." On Avatar Studios:

Given the legacy of the two shows and the lessons taken from their productions, Konietzko hopes the next step for the franchise is using the technology that wasn't available a decade ago to tell new and exciting stories.

"The Avatar world is still really fertile ground creatively for us and our collaborators," he says. "What is exciting is now we can think of how to push this in different directions simultaneously and how it all links with separate productions. We're just looking at all the ways that technology can help us tell better stories easier and more efficiently."

[mariacallous]

The relative Russian success in the Ukrainian war is revealing how we still fail to find the language to understand the West’s enemies. We accuse the pro-Putin faction in the US and Europe of spreading “fake news” or “lies”. Or, in the case of the admirably robust Senator Thom Tillis, of talking “total and unmitigated bullshit”.

Tillis was responding to J.D. Vance, a Trump-supporting senator (and a Putin-supporting senator, come to that). Vance claimed that “some people in this town are saying we need to cut social security and throw our grandparents into poverty. Why? So that one of Zelenskyy’s ministers can buy a bigger yacht?” 

It was fake news, and a lie, and total and unmitigated bullshit, and every other insult you wish to cite. There is no prospect of benefits to elderly Americans being cut to fund aid to Ukraine. And only a malicious fraudster, which is to say a member of the majority faction in the modern US right, would dream of insulting our intelligence by saying so.

And yet if we have learned anything in the past decade it should be that it is not enough  to expose news as fake. There is now a substantial body of academic research on the effectiveness of the fact-checking services reputable news and third sector organisations run. It tells us what we ought to know from our own experience: revealing a lie to be a lie has a limited impact on the ideologically committed. (Parisian researchers studied supporters of Marine le Pen. Although they accepted that she dealt in “alternative facts”, to put it gently, the knowledge that she embraced fake news did not weaken their support for her.)

It is the height of liberal naivety to imagine that, if we expose the lies of the far right (or left), all will be well. Life is not  an exam. You do not succeed merely by knowing the right answers. 

We ought to know by now that demagogic politicians and hucksters do not just lie, They lie with a strategy that tells a kind of truth their supporters want to hear.

I call it “shitty realism” – or if you do not like the coarse language, distorted truth. It’s shitty because unscrupulous operators pile up the lies and hysterical exaggerations. In the case of Vance, he is being a total shit when he pretends that the benefit payments of poor, elderly Americans will go to Ukraine. Quite deliberately and shittily, Vance plays on the fears of the vulnerable and confused that they will face an impoverished old age. 

He then appeals to the fears of the paranoid that a clique of politicians is plotting to steal money from Americans to give to foreigners. Vance finally adds that those foreigners are corrupt, and will use US money to buy yachts rather than fight a war of national survival. His ability to invent the rabble-rousing idea that aid for a fellow democracy in its hour of maximum danger is being stolen from the poor and given to the corrupt shows that Vance is an accomplished and instinctive liar, and of course a piece of shit.

But exposing him will do little good. Trump supporters won’t necessarily care for two reasons. First because a few will hope for a Russian victory. I and many others have written about the admiration in a section of Western reactionary thought for Putin’s contempt for human rights, and in particular LGBT+ rights, and the admiration for a strongman leader. 

But many more understand that Vance is, despite everything, telling a larger truth that American money given to Ukraine cannot be given to Americans.

Vance understands that shittiness needs to be dressed up to make it more acceptable. And so he pretends that there is a plot to steal money from poor Americans and give to Ukrainian criminals. But the fact remains that Western money and arms have gone to Ukraine and much more must go if we are not to live with an aggressive Russia for the rest of our lives. To win the political argument it is not enough to reveal the lies of Trump and his supporters, you need to take on the truth behind the lies and justify aiding Ukraine openly and proudly, by explaining that the defeat of Russia will be a blessing,

Being realistic about shits, and understanding that even the worst of them may tell a kind of truth on occasion, strikes me as the only sensible political posture. To take another example, it is no good trying to argue for net zero by saying, truthfully, that the UK’s Tory press was engaged in wholesale climate-change denial until as recently as a decade ago. It’s  a true and tempting allegation. But the fact remains that when conservative say the transition to net zero is hugely costly and uncertain, they are telling the truth, regardless of their histoires, and unless you take them on, you run the risk of losing the most important argument of our time. 

In their contrasting ways both US and UK politicians are hopeless at winning arguments.

Hyper-partisan America makes its politicians lazy. They are not good at winning over potentially biddable voters on the other side of the divide. If you assume your opponents are wicked or demented, the art of persuasion dies. If they could rediscover political skills, pro-Ukraine Democrat politicians could seduce a portion of the currently wavering supporters of Vance and Trump by appealing to their patriotism. (Notice I say a “portion”. Not all or a majority, but enough to hurt the far right.)

As Fiona Hill, a clear-eyed adviser to successive US governments said this week, “Ukraine has become a battlefield now for America and America’s own future — whether we see it or not — for our own defensive posture and preparedness, for our reputation and our leadership. For Putin, Ukraine is a proxy war against the United States, to remove the United States from the world stage.”

Allow Ukraine to lose, and no ally will trust the US again. 

In the UK the situation is almost the precise opposite. The problem with  our culture is that it is nowhere near partisan enough. With an election coming, neither main party wants to make expensive commitments and so neither dares argue in public that we will have raise substantial amounts of military and financial aid for the struggle against Putin,

You cannot win arguments you duck. The case for saving Ukraine can only be won by fighting the pro-Putin faction point by point, not merely by shouting “you liars”.

“Never wrestle with a pig,” goes the old saying. “You both get dirty and in any case the pig likes it.”

But in the case of Ukraine we must wrestle with the pigs of the far right. For unless we take them on and beat them, we will all be in deep shit.

[jeridoesntdourls]

OH GOD its been so long since i posted something actually to do with the arcana BUT i have returned with more thoughts. On my old post about character dynamics and the such with my main 3 (Borea, Attis, Minos) I hadn't quite figured out who they actually were as characters. I had an "aesthetic" in mind, motivations and themes but they all traversed conflict in almost the exact same way so to me it always read as one character just reskinned. GOOD NEWS, i have fixxed this along with some other changes :3

So firstly, name changes. Borea's last name goes from Norche to just Norte (I thought Norte was a little too on the nose but Norche just doesn't sound latin enough to me LMAO). So her full name is now Borea Xandra Norte. Personality wise shes very withdrawn and prefers to spend time buried in paperwork than going to actual Syndicate meetings. The Syndicate is a council that gathers leaders from the various trades and professions that decide the actions taken by the nation of Tua. Borea is extremely well respected amongst her peers, being one of the only houses that sends only one representative to these meetings. She would love to sit them out but feels as if she has to live up to the expectations placed upon her by what seems to be everyone. Truly just a nerd who is very picky about the people who she lets see her more vulnerable side. She tends to be the organizer in a chaotic family, with siblings spread out across the nation and one even leaving to explore the lands beyond, she tries her best to nurture the tenderness and care her parents had sown into them. Because of this she yearns for some sort of clear order and reason to things around her but this instinct has a tendency to become wildly idealistic and removed from reality. She has some awareness to that and together with her fondness for rebels, as her parents both were, she has a soft spot for passionate and practical people, especially her younger sister, Eurus.

Attis Salvo is a golden boy through and through. He is the son of the leaders of an outcast group named the Brass Ring, responsible for mining the ores prevalent through Tua and using them to forge the first fire weapons. After his parents recent death he is left to wade through diplomatic relationships between the new Syndicate and the Brass Ring. Historically, the members of the Ring have fallen ill because of working in the mines and were common amongst the casualties of the revolution. Vesuvia had made a deal with the rebels to offer military aid, which they did not provide, forcing the Brass Ring to create primitive pistols and even armed turrets. Because of this, members of the Ring are against joining the Syndicate and their planned alliance with Vesuvia. Attis is barely scraping by, he knows he can deal with social predicaments much better than his sister but the pressure makes him less reliable, preferring to simply ignore the situation all together or treat it as something beneath him. He was a brilliant artificer in his youth but now he chases the high of starting new projects without minding the pile of half-done inventions lying around his tent. The only lasting happiness he can feel is when he can loose himself into his memories of when his parents were alive, but even that is momentary.

Mino's name is now Medea Ferne Moura! I'm still not too set on how I imagine them to look. Medea was born into the Heilist faith (basically fantasy Christianity), all of their close family and community at large spun around the church and in service to it. Heilsim is not native to Tua but was imported by their original colonizers as a way to pacify the masses, this included a doctrine which valued pain and sacrifice above all else as a form of holiness. Despite it's later reform "God Favors The Lost" is still the church's motto. It was once said as a way of encouraging the subservience of Tua's natives by dangling the loss of approval from God above their heads in case of a counter-attack, now it's a universal chant that God is beside the losers of history until they can stand on their own. This new interpretation has only just barely caught on popularity, there are still groups within the unified church that believe the old doctrine, including a handful of frequenters of the Church of Sebastium, Medea's workplace. Medea themself grew up with the old interpretation and is marked by it. Within them is a deep need to help those who are less fortunate but it is steeped not in a want to do good but in a want to be innocent and, in the conception of the old church, better than the violent revolutionary. Medea, despite rationally knowing better, sabotages themself and others constantly both out of religious need to be victimized and a subconscious want to be needed. They fear that when a person is no longer less fortunate they will be rejected and abandoned, further progressing their internal conflict. This violent battle is covered up by a facade of care and niceties that can not be ruled as entirely false.

[thecomfortable]

Cynthia Della!

(Ignore the name in the image, this was a concept image.)

Full Name: Cynthia Maddison Della

Nickname: Cindy

Age: 22

Gender: Female

Pronouns: She/Her

Nationality: Australian

Ethnicity: Anglo-Saxon

Height: 167 cm (5'6")

Orientation: Heterosexual

Birthday: 15/09/1988

Likes:

• Pink

• Parties / Clubs

• Hair Styling

• Kylie Minogue

• Marty (insert heart emoticons)

• European Dance / Electronic Dance

• Comedy/Rom-coms/Horror Movies

Dislikes:

• Most forms of heavy metal (doesn't mind nu-metal)

• Radley

• Geese and Turkeys

• War/Tragic Dramas Movies

• Bananas

Background Information Below the Cut!

Cindy is a second year at "Non-Specific" University, studying Fashion and is the current president of the Fashion Society. Regarded as a "Bombshell Blonde" Cindy is constantly seen with a giant group of guys and gals, but don't let her ditzy appearance fool you. Cindy is extremely observant. Her experience with toxic men has corroded her naivety down to a pebble and despite enjoying the frequent make-out session, Cindy can pick an insecure bastard from a mile away.

Cindy's life, up to this point, has been relatively easy. Her parents, despite having five kids in total, care deeply about each of their children. She was always somewhat popular throughout her school years with both her peers and teachers. Her best friend of nine years will tell you that in an instant and also ramble on about how attractive she is (Cindy is starting to get rather suspicious at this point.)

Until she met Marty, Cindy was having an on-and-off fling with casual womaniser Radley Karlton. She never felt anything more than sexual attraction towards the guy - hence why their relationship status was constantly fluctuating. During a night of bar-hopping with her friends, Cindy nearly ended up getting back with Radley... if it weren't for a somewhat attractive bartender. So instead of flirting with "Rad the Lad", she started chatting with cute bartender who was, quite frankly, taken-aback.

Unfortunately, this interaction caused Radley to drunkenly lash out at Marty. The manager eventually came out to break-up the altercation and for a brief moment believed that Marty had started it. Cindy watched as the bartender broke down in front of a room filled with mildly intrigued bar patrons. In response, she, along with a few of her friends, managed to convince the manager that Radley was the actual cause.

After the altercation, Cindy stayed behind to apologise profusely. Marty waved away her concerns and expressed that he was "thankful someone even stood up for him.". One thing led to another and the two went home with each other's phone numbers. She's still a little new to emotionally vulnerable guys but she has to admit that Marty is very pretty when he cries (Don't judge her okay, the guy has brought about a few shocking revelations as to what Cindy finds attractive).

From then on, Cindy would come to the Campus bar late into the night to chat excessively with Marty. Eventually this would lead to hangouts and, after a very long of mutual pining, a long string of dates. During this time, Cindy would constantly try to elicit a cute or flustered reaction from Marty whenever she gets the chance. It's become a near obsession (playful of course). Cindy believes that cute beanpole deserves all the hugs in the world and she's going to give him all the hugs in the universe!

[dearestones]

Platonic! Nordics and Immortal! Child! Reader Parenting Headcanons

Warnings: Fluff.

Anonymous Request: hey I absolutely love your immortal child stories, could you maybe do the parenting headcanons one with the nordics? <3

.

.

.

Denmark

Denmark has seen and heard many things over the course of his immortal life. Nations, nature spirits, ghosts, and all sorts of other supernatural phenomena were all par for the course when it came to being an immortal. However, an immortal child who was still human? How remarkable!

If he had met you back when he was still a conquering empire, he would have greeted you with suspicion and wariness. All Nations who have tasted what seemed to be boundless power would like to hang onto that power as much as possible. With an unpredictable variable like you running around, what does that mean? Were you to be a bad omen? However, if you happen to meet Denmark in the present day, he’s mostly relaxed and he’ll instantly take you into his house because you’re still just a child to him even if you are immortal. 

Whenever possible, he’ll try to establish an amiable rapport with you by taking you out for walks, talking to you about your day, or playing some of your favorite sports and games. You might think that he was trying to appease you, but he genuinely wants to know you better and he’s always interested in trying out new things.

Once you finally think of him as some sort of parental figure, he’ll make space for you in his home and include you in more aspects of his life. He’ll push for your education, but you’re free to be either homeschooled or to go to a school of your choice. If you choose homeschooling, Denmark will take you anywhere and everywhere just so that you can be educated in all areas of life. That includes trips to the grocery store to ensure you know how to budget and choose the best products, teaching you the basics in household maintenance and upkeep, and he’ll bring you along to world meetings so that you can observe how politics work in real time. 

However, while Denmark makes it seem like he works a lot of the time, it’s actually the opposite! He likes to have fun and it’s much easier to have fun if you’re also enjoying yourself. He’s the type of parent to give you a lot of independence and freedom from an early age. If he thinks you’re responsible enough, he’ll give you a lot of pocket money. Just be sure to not spend it all at once, though! He’ll probably ask you about it just to make sure that you’re not being too frivolous because part of his intention was to make sure you realize the importance of saving some of it for a future emergency.

As for discipline, Denmark is usually lenient. If this were centuries in the past, he would have been far more strict, but nowadays he tends to understand that children will do whatever they want. That doesn’t stop him from looking disappointed if you act out or break one of his important rules like not checking in while you’re out or breaking curfew. He won’t punish you, per se, but he will ask you to explain yourself and what ways the both of you can cooperate so that you won’t feel the need to act out again. If you’re not comfortable with long, drawn out discussions that are based on open communication and the necessity for vulnerability, this will be punishment enough. 

All in all, Denmark is happy that he gets to know you and to be a part of your life. Immortality is quite lonely, but with you with him, it feels like every day is a new chance for happiness. 

Finland

There is no hesitation. The instant he knows that you are a child who is both human and immortal with no place to call home, Finland is immediately putting you into his house. Would you like tea? Milk? Another beverage of your choice? You are not leaving this house cold and unfed if Finland has anything to say about it.

Don’t worry, Finland won’t smother you too much after the initial introduction. After you’ve made yourself comfortable and he’s come to terms with the fact that immortal humans exist, Finland will ask if you would like to stay with him. He doesn’t want to appear too happy about it, but like Norway, he has a soft spot for children. His face quickly lights up in joy once you say yes and he immediately embraces you—if you are welcome to such a gesture—or squeals in delight. He has a child!

Out of the rest of the Nordics, Finland is one of the most vocal and open about his new child. While the rest of the others will eventually tell the rest of their family about their newly adopted immortal child, it’s Finland who immediately texts the group chat with the good news. The adoption papers haven’t been made official yet, but Finland doesn’t care; he’s far too happy to contain his excitement. 

Eventually, the excitement will wear off, but Finland’s commitment to you has only just begun. Finland has some of the finest educators in the entire world and you can bet that he will definitely make sure that you are fully educated and well versed in important subject matters so that you can tackle the world. Finland also understands the importance of hobbies and sports. You want to learn how to play an instrument? Learn how to ski so that the both of you can spend time together during the winter holidays? Or perhaps you would like to pursue the visual performing arts? Regardless of who you are, Finland is more than willing to support you with a broad smile and plenty of photos so that he can share your achievements with the rest of the Nordics. 

Speaking of the Nordics, Finland is the least shy in showing you off and introducing you to the rest of his neighbors. The first time you meet the rest of the Nordics, it will more than likely be a scheduled outing instead of at a stuffy meeting. (Meetings are not a place for children, even those who are immortal!). When Sealand visits, Finland makes sure that the both of you come out of that meeting as friends—or even better, as siblings. Finland will not tolerate it if his children aren’t civil to each other. 

As with most children, problems may arise. That’s okay, Finland has had his fair share of tantrums dealing with Sealand. When you scream or rage at him, Finland won’t raise his voice or his fists at you. Instead, he’ll advise you to take a walk outside or if that isn’t an option, he’ll have you take out your aggression on cutting vegetables or screaming into a pillow. He’ll remain mostly quiet during fights like this, but it’s not out of aggression. Rather, he wants to approach you calmly so that he may soothe you and to solve the problem as quickly and compassionately as possible. When the fighting is over, he’ll invite you forward for a hug and a hot beverage of your choice. 

In the end, Finland wants to spend the rest of his life with you as his child. There might be a day where you grow up, but for the time being, Finland will cherish you. 

Iceland

This can’t be happening. Seriously, why? 

Iceland isn’t always in tune with his emotions and when he is, he certainly doesn’t know what to do with them. When he sees you looking up at him, trusting and utterly innocent despite the fact that you’re immortal—you’re immortal!?!?!?—all he can think about is how much he wishes that his brother is with him. 

As a fellow immortal with tons more experience and possibly more mature than you, Iceland can technically adopt you. Maybe. Maybe not. Honestly, Iceland doesn’t really know because ethics don’t really apply to magical, immortal beings like you and him. At the end of the day, after he consults with some other Nations and a few social workers from his home, he will resort to asking you if you want to stay with him.

He’s not going to lie, he was not expecting you to say yes. Why would you stay with him when there were other far more capable Nations out there. Who would say yes to a Nation who was always behind the times and eternally isolated from the rest of his peers? Yet, when he’s just about to rebuke you or even comment about the fact that you’re making a mistake, he finds himself at a loss for words at the feeling that blossoms in his chest when he sees the earnestness in your eyes. You aren’t pitying him; you’re choosing him. Him! Despite the redness in his cheeks and his ears, Iceland merely huffs to himself before taking you back to his house.

Iceland is not the best with children. Even when he’s mingling with the rest of his citizens, the most he’ll do is offer a few cooed words or even a brief smile. He’s fairly shy and he’s still somewhat insecure in his position as a Nation. With you, he’ll try to overcompensate for his shortcomings (moody temper, relatively young age compared to his elders, etc.) by giving you lots of free time where you can do things that you want to do. What he doesn’t realize, however, is that in doing so, he’s inadvertently pushing you away. Because of this, the sooner you let him know that you need him in your life, the sooner he’ll come to terms with his personal feelings and he’ll grow out of his feelings of insecurity and low self worth so that he can be a worthy guardian for you. It will take time, but it will be fulfilling in the end.

Iceland is actually tempted to go back to school just so that he can see you around. Maybe if he hangs around his citizens around both of your ages, he’ll connect to you better? It’s a far fetched thought, but he does entertain it when he drops you off at your school. Because he wants to better himself and to prove to you—but mostly to himself—that he’s a good guardian, he’ll hover around you when you’re doing homework. If you need help, he’s already got a smart phone in hand to help research for the answers because he doesn’t want to disappoint you.��

Iceland is never taking you to a world meeting if he can help it. If you beg him enough, he might relent, but the most you’ll ever see of the other Nations are when the other Nordics insist on meeting you. He’s not trying to isolate you from the rest of the immortal community, but again, he’s somewhat afraid of the idea that you’ll abandon him for someone else. Someone who’s far more capable and has experience dealing with children like you. Like Norway. If you can convince him that you won’t abandon him for shallow reasoning or if he grows out of this way of thinking, you’ll see more of the rest of the national community.

Iceland is no disciplinarian, but he will give as good as he can get when it comes to tantrums and fights. Iceland may be called icy at times, but his volcanoes roar brighter and stronger than any flame. If he’s feeling particularly stressed with you or can’t make you see reason, he may devolve into yelling and tears. However, he can just as easily go back to his cooler side, which may result in silent treatment or storming away outside or to another part of his house so that he can calm down. Regardless, fights like these often last hours or days if the both of you can’t communicate properly. Iceland doesn’t want to discipline you, but either his explosive anger or his isolating tendencies may make the situation worse. Sometimes, he may have to ask another Nation to play mediator.

However, don’t hold it against Iceland. He’s trying his hardest and when he makes a mistake, he endeavors to never make it again. It will take a while for him to fully embrace his guardianship of you and to overcome his shortcomings, but once he does, it’s to the betterment of both the national community and the bond that you share with him. 

Norway

When he first hears about you, he does not bat an eye, but it does make him ponder the intricacies of life. You say that you’re human, yet you’re also immortal? How curious and strange! He does not regard you with suspicion, but you will have to be prepared for the eventuality that Norway will end up asking a lot of questions about who you are and how you came to be. 

As the supposed older brother of Iceland, Norway knows what it’s like to raise children. You would think that because of his experience he would be more than adept with raising you—or, at the very least, trying to be a guiding force in your life—but he’s a passive thinker at times and it would take some time to come to terms with your existence. Before he fully welcomes you, he’ll observe you first and engage in interactions that seem to be more of a verbal iteration of his stream of consciousness instead of, well… Just be patient with him, he’s still adjusting to this new world view that humans can be immortal.

Once he realizes that you’re still a child despite your circumstances, Norway asks if you have anybody that you consider family or somewhere safe to stay. Compared to how he greeted you, with his eyes looking a little blank and lost, this time, he regards you with concern. Iceland may have been the one with volcanoes and the hot and cold personality, but you cannot deny that there is a fire in Norway’s eyes as he regards you. 

When you admit that you’re alone or you have no place to call your own, Norway sets to work in finding you a permanent place to stay. Who do you want to stay with? Do you have a specific preference? Would you rather you leave Norway and go someplace else? Norway is more than willing to send you airfare and send you to someone you know will keep you company during your long immortality, but he finds himself equal parts surprised and bemused when you say that you choose him. In comparison to Iceland, who rarely voices out his true feelings for the rest of the Nordics, Norway finds himself gratified and wishing that his dear little brother was just as receptive as you are.

After establishing himself as your guardian—with your full consent—Norway goes full parental mode on you. Upon first impressions, you would think that Norway would be too flighty and scatterbrained to even raise a child, but it’s the exact opposite. He immediately catalogues what sort of healthy meals you should be eating, your hobbies and interests, and what you desire from education. 

Like Denmark, Norway also likes the idea of homeschooling. His education system is great, but he can’t deny that children who are homeschooled tend to gravitate to subjects that actually interest them, thus fostering a sense of curiosity and drive to dive in deeper. Whatever the case, he’ll accept how you want to proceed, but he will nudge you in the direction of home based learning. (There’s also the thought that maybe you don’t need to attend school considering that you are immortal, but that’s a thought for another day).

Norway enjoys hanging out with you the most. While he can be pragmatic and efficient when it comes to business and political matters, he would rather much spend the day playing and talking with you. He loves to tease you with wordplay and puns, playing small pranks on you, and even utilizing his magic just to make you smile. He especially likes it when his troll ruffles your hair or lifts you into the air just to surprise you. 

Discipline isn’t something that Norway doesn’t want to dwell on for too long, but he knows that eventually you might break a few rules. When this happens, Norway gently guides you to your room or your safe space for a few minutes so that the both of you can collect yourselves. Afterwards, the both of you will talk about the importance of rules and why they are upheld in the first place. If you come up with a good point why some rules should be changed or bent, Norway is more than willing to hear you out and possibly acquiesce. 

In the end, Norway is ecstatic to know that he has another child to take care of. Even though Norway wishes that it was Iceland who was looking up to him, he does not compare you to him, but he does wish that his little brother would come over to his house so that he can meet his new sibling!

Sweden

Despite his cold and rigid exterior, Sweden is actually quite warm and fluffy. Although he’s quiet and reserved, Sweden is naturally intuitive when it comes to a child’s needs. When he first meets you, he almost immediately knows that you’re not a regular human being; you’re immortal. He doesn’t know about your supernatural nature, but he does know that you need someone in your life. With only that much information to go off of, it’s surprising that he takes to you without hesitation. When you do tell him that you’re immortal, he doesn’t show his shock. Instead, he’ll nod as if reaffirming basic suspicions before quietly asking if you have family. If you don’t, he’ll contemplate a few moments more before asking in that quiet, but gentle voice of his if you would like to stay with him.

Sweden is a stolid presence in your life. Despite any misgivings you might have had when you first met him, he is quick to dispel any fears that you may have about him. He may not speak much, but his actions tell a story that is akin to an epic. Without even saying anything, he’ll provide you everything from the basics of comfort to treats and toys. Like Finland, he absolutely adores children, but he isn’t as quick to start talking about you to others. Finding you was like coming across buried treasure without digging for it. 

Sweden likes to keep to himself, but if you ever show signs of discomfort or sadness, he’s immediately there at your side. His words are sparse, but the way he holds you and hums under his breath—one of his folk tunes, you think—slows your breathing and steadies your heart. As a person who suffers from bouts of anxiety and often finds comfort in his introverted nature, he is the perfect person to calm down young children who are also anxious and fearful of strange situations. When calming you down, Sweden prefers to ground you by asking you to breathe, holding you if you so choose, etc. 

When the both of you grow closer, Sweden will eventually open up. You might think him a serious person, but he’s actually playful and prone to playing pranks. Sooner or later, you’ll end up falling for one of his traps, which will end up with the both of you laughing. It’s okay, though. Sweden is an unwittingly great teacher and you’re free to get back at him. 

Speaking of teaching, Sweden wouldn’t mind homeschooling you! Sure, education can be obtained through traditional means, but since you’re immortal, it would also make sense that you would turn to him for help. He’ll spend days preparing materials and your curriculum before enthusiastically taking you out on nature hikes, field trips to museums, or even staying at home so he can teach you life lessons. He takes your education and your interests seriously. No matter how trivial it may seem , he will entertain any and all questions you may have and even reach out to others for help if he can’t adequately answer. 

Don’t get Sweden mad at you. Please don’t. Sweden has had many rejections in the past so if you start acting out or intentionally causing pain to him, he will shut down emotionally. He won’t yell. He won’t lash out physically. He will simply look at you in disappointment before walking out of the room. Eventually, he will come back to discuss the situation and punishment, but he may remain aloof for a few days afterward before coming back into himself. It’s a fear that he would rather not entertain, but the idea of you abandoning him lingers in the corners of his mind. 

Living with Sweden is peaceful and quiet. You might think it’s a boring life, but you’ll find that you’ll go on many adventures with Sweden so long as you live with him. 

.

.

.

If you want to donate a Ko-Fi, feel free https://ko-fi.com/devintrinidad.

HETALIA AXIS POWERS/WORLD SERIES MASTERLIST