#a reminder and memory solution for pur system

[moodymeangirl]

having realisations. the four people who have declared me dangerous/abusive when they've identified emotions in my voice

(including times of feeling love and excitement)

have begun to do so very soon after the first time i disagreed or disobeyed them in the friendship.

Person 1 called the way i was speaking to them unsafe when asked what their mixed signals meant (be lovingly normal in front of friends but mean on text). I was immediately blocked and they act like I don't exist in irl spaces. The message I sent was literally 'hey what's going on with all the mixed signals?'.

Person 2 called me 'fucking awful, arrogant, a monster, a predator, and affronting' the first time we hung out in a group after I'd declined to become her domme. The conversation she instigated to attack me involved asking if I agree with her that our group social worker is attractive, then casting aspersions of predatory sexual behaviour onto to me when I said yes. I am ace.

Person 3 was present with Person 2. I was trapped in back of Person 3 car on the way to visit Person 2's parents home, late at night. Person 2 lied about her words, and Person 3 claimed to have not heard it. Referencing that claim and 2's denials together they interrogated and insulted me, before leaving me sat in the gutter outside 2's home. I found out later they spent the next hour or so abusing me behind my back, watching me cry in the street from an upstairs window. They later both admitted like it was nothing that it was all made up, they did hear, and Person 2 said they were mad at me for different reasons and wanted to lash out. Both 2 and 3 have expressed to me since that they enjoyed it.

Person 4 (bestie of 15yrs) began a year long pattern of silent treatment, threatening to leave friendship, implying im hated by all my friends, saying im becoming my abusive father (i am not and i am a trans woman), demanding care, demanding access to my other friends and supports then excluding me from their social contact with my mates (telling my friends I preferred it this way) and routinely accusing me of speaking in an abusive tone ---- immediately after they realised I would not accept being spoken to cruelly/have my thoughts decided for me, the first time they tried it since moving into my flat. It was at the exact moment I first expressed a clear boundary of respect in 15 years, that I became an abusive, perverse, male dv committing quote 'autistic rapist or school shooter in waiting'. That day I wound up yelling IMNOTBAD and LISTENTOME at them, which was all the proof they needed to engage in a campaign of gaslighting, forced isolation from them and others, having one rule for me and another rule for anybody id introduced them to, manipulating my identity issues and autism in therapy so much so that the therapist joined in on punishing stimming and speaking up for myself with assertions that im lying about my emotions, deliberately triggering my cptsd, only talking to me when they wanted to come stay or when they needed to be helpe thru a crisis: generally choosing the cruellest possible option at every turn. All while I tried hard to be better in therapy, and desperately lapped up any glimmers of affection. any signal they loved like me they used to before they 'realised I was an abuser'.

Rn I am in a situation where they are telling my closest friends they are excited for the future and are actuvely planning international holiday to visit my other best friend, and that in order to heal i shouldnt be invited. The same days literally, they are emailing me saying they're suicidal and that im unsafe and abusive and not to come near them - knowing I have ptsd from being the only person supporting then through a secret mental health crisis before. When I freak out and have serious episode and am basically losing my mind begging their other friends (people they bullied and gaslit me into introducing them to) to give them support bc if I go near them they'll likely die from the trauma of being near me, this friend is actively assuring those alarmed friends that they're perfectly fine and quote 'normal'. I don't disbelieve that they're suicidal btw, I just think they're comfortable torturing my emotions in order to access my loyalty and support. I think they want my friends and queer community for themselves, so they're avoiding revealing their vulnerability thru their own shame and identity stress.

It's also worth noting im out to my friends as having DID and Person 4 also has DID but is not out. Despite their anti-autism, anti-did, and anti-trans bigotry towards me being lateral they are actively weaponising my other friends concern for my mental health and deploying the stigma of a disorder they secretly have against me socially.

And I haven't and won't breach their privacy. I won't ignore their pleas, and I have provided significant support through the last week of their ideation and my being shocked and heartbroken into the realisation that unless my boundaries are suddenly respected, in action not merely words, that the most important relationship of my life so far will be one that I choose to leave (once ik that they're okay in terms of immediate threat to life ofc). And tbh that's if they don't decide they've got my friends locked in and finally fulfil their frequent threat to leave the friendship themselves. which to be quite honest they already do, unless they need me or they can use me to get someone they want.

and ftr I've known Person 4 has alters who are psychopathic for years. Allah knows one of my lovelies in our system is sociopathic herself. but for the majority of a 15 year family level relationship they have never chosen to treat me with disrespect, with cruelty, or with ill intent. we never used to set boundaries with each other bc the moral boundaries each of our systems set internally stopped us from ever harming each other. neither of us would be alive if not for the other. it's not like either of us having cluster bs or tetrad things happening in the complexities of our psyches ever contributed to harm b4, so I won't accept that as an excuse now. I don't deserve any of this cruelty, this harm, or this organised torture and social abandonment. Person 4 railed against Persons 1, 2, 3 during those events and encouraged me to stand my ground at every turn.

I just know now, that the way they're treating me is completely unacceptable. that rebuilding trust after the fact is a very very long journey should they ever be in a mindset to admit their wrongdoings. and that the damage they've done to my other community supports and close friendships may itself require a long period of repair, labour, and effort restitching wounds I didn't make cause or know had occurred. my loved ones now love this person. I've confided on those who offered and found that if I express even the merest trickle of a problem with Person 4s treatment of me that they stop listening. I've been told twice now that people want to ask P4's consent before listening to me speak about my own life.

it doesn't escape me that the first big realisation I had regarding the wrongness of P4s behaviour this year was their blanket refusal without explanation to allow me equal power / footing with them in terms of choosing to hang out, talk, or interact. meanwhile they made me watch from afar as they demonstrated and gave (seemingly) perfect respect and equality to the people who are now refusing to hear my voice note unless they talk to P4 first. like my autonomy has become accepted as non existent to the point where unrelated conversations are being secretly dictated from afar by this person. to the point where, had they not hit me with the intense fear that were going to die/in the same breath as telling me that if I try to help them ill make it happen - I'd still have accepted it.

I feel trapped. I know I need to end this friendship. But I am afraid to lose my closest friends when I do. Even if they don't ditch me, I have already lost their trust. I have already lost my right to self determination in those communities and friendships to another human being entirely. And if they remain friends with P4, if P4 continues to behave like this, I don't think I'll get that back. Not until they're facing the same behaviour themselves.

but. I am having RealisationsTM. In all these cases a majority of other people have been baffled by and have not felt what happened was okay in the slightest. the majority of people ik closely are autistic, trans, and or have DID and nobody else other than a minority of 4 - not even the people manipulated by P4 - take any issue at my autistic speech, emotionality, or desire to set boundaries and be treated as an autonomous equal.

so my conclusion is that this minority of four (out of hundreds in community and 10s in terms of close friends) are people who - for whatever reason - wanted me to accept being harmed disrespected, or controlled by them. and I didn't and I don't, so they *surprise surprise* made their bad behaviour more intense every time I stood up for myself.

no doubt the vulnerabilities of my intersections in society assisted them in this, but in No Way did my intersections or my soul cause this.

I am glad to have been in therapy. I will continue to be in therapy and work on not being someone who yells as a reaction to being abused. I haven't yelled once since that first time w P4 and I never raised my voice with the others. I am a flawed person but I'm not an abusive person. These events are not my doing. I did not deserve to be treated this way. I deserved the love, trust, and care I gave these people - which they abused. I exist. We exist. We are real and our heart will heal from these betrayals. We are loved.

[vampiresuns]

The Stories Of Dead Kings | Prologue, Part 3

✴︎ THE STORIES OF DEAD KINGS ✴︎

4.5k words. In which the Palace continues to bring out things long ago buried within Anatole, the investigation commences and he makes an unlikely friend. CWs: Memory loss, death penalty.

You can read the rest of Anatole’s apprentice timeline series here.

Antu did not like the white dogs. A shame, because Anatole loved that breed — he had only seen pictures of it, drawings in books and a couple of paintings, but he thought it was a fantastic one all the same. They looked so funky and given his preference for raccoons, it was no surprise he favoured fuzzy, slightly funny looking but beautiful animals. He’d pet them later. 

Antu liked the voice that called to Anatole even less. While he didn’t like it either, Antu reacted with a viciousness Anatole had never seen before.

Stay back! You’re not wanted! He threatened, his voice echoing in Anatole’s mind as he bared his teeth at the open air.

No! We don’t like it in there! You can’t make us go!

With the dogs pulling him through his clothes upstairs, he had to hold onto Antu for dear life, fearing his familiar would launch himself at the dogs. It made him a blur of hands, fur and hair. 

“Ouch, Antupillán, don’t scratch me!”

As soon as they’re in the dark hallway, the dogs vanished, but Antu did not seem any more calm. Still in Anatole’s arms but ready to jump if needed, he was still growling at nothing and every time Anatole tried to make an advance, trying to walk down the hall to explore the room by the end of it, Antu tried to bite his hands. 

“Fine, fine, fine, Antupillán, you win.”

When the ghostly voice purred behind them, Antu climbed over his shoulder before Antole could stop him. Of course his raccoon threw himself at an apparition, because demanding fair trials out of the Countess of Vesuvia wasn’t excitement enough for the furball he had for a familiar.

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Anatole tried very hard not to growl at Portia when she brought him breakfast, but the Palace kept hours that were too early, even for him, who had become a relatively early riser out of habit — waking up at dawn was too much, what had happened to seven AM? At least she had come with coffee, coffee he chugged while he listened carefully at her.

He had no clue about how to feel about the clothes, though the shirt was a dream come true. Cross-tied and with a V neck opening, big bishop sleeves, and matching, deep emerald green pants and a sleeveless long coat. The coat had a gold embroidered trim, and it reached his ankles, It would flutter deliciously as he walked down the hallways, the clack of the black boots with a golden plate shoe tip against the marbled floors.

Everything was miraculously his size; he didn’t still comprehend nor trust the Countess’ motives for giving him clothes, especially when he had brought his own. Anatole might not have a personal tailor, but he was very dedicated and careful about his clothing. He always strived to be well dressed, so what was the reason for it? Ease him after his opinions last-night? That felt too much like trying to buy him into the Countess' good side. However, while it was true he didn’t know how to feel about her, he felt it was unfair to automatically assume the worst. This required further analysis. 

Portia left his room and he looked at the clothes with a sigh. He examined for a minute longer as he ate another pastry. He looked at Antu, who was still pretending to be an angel after jumping from his arms to fight a ghost out of all things. 

He was eating some grapes. 

It’s pretty.

“We don’t accept gifts from people we don’t trust.”

Who’s we?

“Oh, is that how it is?”

You have never been very good at lying to yourself.

“And you’re awfully insightful this morning, huh?” 

Antupillán continued eating his grapes, this time in silence. He had a point, Anatole supposed. It was a gorgeous outfit but he hadn’t been lying to himself when he said he didn’t accept gifts from people he didn’t trust, and after last night, he wasn’t sure he was on the best terms with the Countess, even if she did seem civil enough afterwards. He couldn’t wear this, even if he really, really wanted to. It would be wrong, it would betray his principles, it would—

It would have to do because when he turned to check where he had left his clothes, he realised the Palace’s staff had taken all of them to laundry them. When Portia had mentioned that, he had assumed they’d only take the clothes he was wearing last night.

“Fuckers.”

He hated people rummaging through his stuff. He was very, very close to deciding to throw all caution and professionalism to the winds and be contrarian as could be. It was a bad idea, but there was a part inside himself which had been kept dormant for the most part. That part made him want to remind people he wasn’t trapped somewhere with them, they were trapped somewhere with him.

Perhaps another time.

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The Palace’s library was one of the most gorgeous places he had ever set a foot in. From its doors to its high shelves, with the high windows with stained glass and the plants, Anatole wished he had the entire day to get lost in it, explore every section, even the ones he wasn’t interested in. He wanted to ask why was the library locked up under so many keys, but he didn’t know if he’d get an answer, or if Portia knew, or if the Countess would be up to more of his really incisive questions about things she would deem out of Anatole’s range of incumbency. 

If you asked him, Libraries should be public.

Despite how they left things last night, the Countess seemed to be in a great mood, complimenting his looks and treating him amiably. Anatole detected no deception nor flattery in her words; it threw him off for reasons he didn’t have the time to decode right now. Perhaps he had become too used to people shading half a light on things for reasons bigger than Anatole himself, perhaps the reason was another. It’d have to wait to be pried into. 

“You told me you read.”

���Constantly, as long as my brain lets me.”

Silence fell between them. Well, this was starting to get awkward. 

“Thank you,” the Countess said.

“What for?”

“You are very genuine,” she said. Anatole didn’t know what to do with that. Taking his silence as encouragement, the Countess continued. “Reading is a wonderful gift, shared by all citizens where I come from, but it’s woefully uncommon here.”

He hummed, squinting back at the Countess. He took a sharp breath as he made himself count to ten. He had felt the same need to speak without knowing what he would say as before, but this time he could anticipate it would be something angry. He didn’t need to know where these things were coming from to know he was about to ask the Countess whose fault was that, and then he’d be really, really done for. 

He kept his mouth shut this time — Antu biting him softly (but strongly enough to make him hiss) helped. Time and place. He was better than this, he was taught better than this. 

Wait, what? Taught what? By whom?

“Concentrate, for fuck’s sake,” he muttered between his teeth.

“Did you say something?”

“That this is truly a wonderful collection.”

“Anatole… you are my guest, if you wish to return here, you need only ask. But for the moment I would have your undivided attention here.”

There was something deeply intimate about prying into someone organisational systems. How they cluttered, why they cluttered, the organisation methods employed, the thought process behind it and what you could infer of it by looking. The way documents were studied and how and where notes were taken. In that sense, Dr. Devorak’s desk teemed with information.

It might have felt like prying a little too deep into him, but Anatole thought it was a fair exchange after he broke into his house. An eye for an eye wasn’t the best justice system, but hey, a little pettiness couldn’t hurt, besides, investigating the murder was his job now. 

His musings were tampered by the mention of Asra working for the palace during the Red Plague. He didn’t remember living through it, though he had always assumed he must’ve been present for it, given their earliest memory was of a post-plague Vesuvia. It had ravaged everything. Plagues were like wars, they seldom discriminated. Not that Anatole knew of war beyond books. If that wasn’t the case this was, once again, nor the time or place to second-guess himself.

Do you know what an explosion sounds like, Asra?

After promising the Countess he would meet her for dinner, he set himself to work. Anatole loved few things more than a good puzzle without a solution, and once he grew determined he did nothing half-ways. 

Lacing his fingers together, he stretched them, a waft of satisfaction dawning over him as his joints cracked. 

“Let’s figure you out, Julian ‘Magic Cards’, hm?”

He didn’t expect his search to lead him back into the city, but with Antu in tow he’s determined to follow the trace his magic had cast into its streets. Vesuvia was a wild thing, a glimmering thing in the lowlights of dusk making Anatole wonder why hadn’t he insisted in seeing more of it, wondering how much memories of it could he be missing. What used to be his favourite spots? His favourite streets? His favourite garden? 

He wasn’t one to dwell in the past, living in the past was no way of living, but that didn’t mean the past didn’t matter. He just wanted to be able to reclaim it, to say ‘this is mine, this took me where I am today, this made me myself, just like who I am today will make me the myself of tomorrow’. He looked at the past not with wistfulness but searching for an explanation.

The area he found himself in was crowded, urbanistically speaking, shabby, probably in need of repair, and while he didn’t stop chasing that trace something in his heart (and his temple) pulsed. Something unknown and caged, something which begged to be let out, something he couldn’t make out what it was. He hated not knowing, he was getting tired of getting all these feelings, these knowledge, these looks and these visions without any sort of explanation. This time he didn’t file it away for later, and yet whatever he felt, eluded him.

The word he was looking for and failed to find was Love. A word which would continue to escape him for a little longer, as Julian Devorak himself manifested out of an open door. Finally, he thought, throwing hypothesis and chasing them was starting to give him results. 

Falling into a barrel and stepping on Antu’s tail were unforeseen outcomes. So was falling face first into Julian’s chest after he helped him out of the barrel, both of them looking at each other like deers startled by light.

After Julian let him go, he held Antu, petting him as a way to apologise for stepping on him by accident. 

“I have a name, you know? Shopkeep isn’t it,” he said as he looked at the Rowdy Raven’s sign.

“Dare I ask what brings you to this neck of the woods, Not-Named-Shopkeep?”

Anatole caught himself smiling, but as he tried and failed to find a way to explain what had happened the smile faded from his face. Words eluded him and he had to admit he was very grateful for Julian taking it in stride. Because how could he explain any of this without giving away his new-found position? Or at all? He couldn’t find it in him to articulate such a thing — not to mention the glint in Julian’s eye as he turned to him was much more exciting.

It tied neatly to the trace of Anatole’s magic, like a master key he had been desperately looking for. 

“Rumour has it you’re working for the Palace,” Julian sneered. “What happened to not being a snitch? I’m sure— well, by now— you’ve heard some interesting stories about me.”

“As interesting as you’re prone to not explaining yourself, though both of those might be gross understatements. And I take great offence in you thinking I’m a snitch. Don’t you think that had I told anyone you’d already be found?”

“I’m very slippery and you don’t know where to find me.”

“I found you now.”

“By accident I’m sure, not to say you aren’t talented and magnificent and all those things the rumours say… but you haven’t heard my side of the story.”

“Julian?”

“Yes?”

“Stop assuming the first thing about me and how I do things, will you, sweetheart?” 

Julian’s cheeks went as red as his hair. Anatole let out a pained whine. Wherever that had come from, Anatole didn’t want to know and he expected it to not come forward again. He apologised; Julian, having composed himself, thought teasing him was a good idea but Anatole levelled a look at him that convinced him otherwise. 

He sighed. Julian was right: he’d only heard things from the Palace and muddled rumours. A wanted poster was a statement of capture, not an absolute truth and it was obvious to him there was some sort of power imbalance playing against the doctor. So when Julian said he could get him a drink, to get the story and to pay him what he owes him from the reading, Anatole found it difficult to say no.

“I don’t usually accept trading payments unless previously discussed, or the party is in need, but you know what? I think I’m willing to do an exception for you.”

“Oh, please, you work for the Palace now, I think you’re set on the money.”

“You know, I haven’t discussed fees and wages with the Countess, do you think we’d be cell mates if I did?”

Julian laughed. One drink couldn’t hurt, right?

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The flurry that erupted after the caw of the Raven would be etched into Anatole’s mind forever, becoming part of his daydreams unsanctioned. It was the kind of chaos which brought the familiar thump of an inconclusive memory. The Doctor might not have told him his part of the story, Anatole was well aware, but he did give him some insight into his circles and his person. Not anyone who was wanted by the Palace would shield the Palace’s investigator in the shadows so they didn’t get in trouble for hanging out with said wanted person. 

As he vanished after an awkward and unfinished thank-you-for-not-being-a-snitch, Anatole turned to make his way back to the Palace, only to be met with Ludovico, who introduced himself and tried not to stare at him while he hailed a carriage for Anatole. 

Anatole paid no mind to the staring. Whether it’s leftover staring from the day before, or staring driven by having found him in such an odd quarter of the City, he chose to ignore it. His apology for summoning a carriage for him despite him being the one who said it was a bad idea to leave the Countess waiting, was another thing altogether. 

It was true Anatole didn’t particularly enjoy carriage rides, but why would a Palace guard would know such a thing? Did it have to do with how he felt yesterday when crossing the gates? As he stepped into the carriage he tried not to think about it, afraid he’d overthink his way into a migraine. 

Relieved as he realised he was in time for dinner, Anatole took in the exquisite smells of what is definitely too much food. He was too hungry to think about the quantity for now, perhaps he could inquire about it after he ate something. 

His appetite seemed to hold itself back at the mention of the Courtiers, almost evaporating altogether. He still forced himself to eat, he needed it after such a day in the City, while he listened with rapt attention to the Countess' words. He dabbed his mouth with a napkin before taking a drink from his cup, doing the same afterwards. That he didn’t have any issue distinguishing the cutlery from one another somehow didn’t call to his attention like his next words did.

“I know, and I promise you I’ll be careful.”

“You already know my Courtiers?”

“Oh no, no such thing it’s just—”

“One can never second-guess one’s intuition, is it not right Anatole?”

For the first time in two days, when he smiled at the Countess it was genuine. “Exactly.”

Just like he knew the painting, the gardens, that other version of himself walking through them and his opinions on subjects which required more education than the one he thought he had, he somehow knew the Court — being equal times prepared to brace himself for meeting it, and unprepared for whatever he may find.

He knew deep inside he could trust the Countess to have his back on that, however. It’s the way the word ‘Courtiers’ felt from her mouth: she didn’t trust them. 

The mention of Julian’s hanging brought him back from wherever place of commodity his mind had gone into. The faraway look in the Countess’ eyes almost eluded him. Almost.

“Countess…”

“I am thinking about what you said last night, Anatole, but I expect you to understand I must seek to tend to my people’s needs.”

“And you think they need executions?”

“I think they need to see justice done.”

While restricted and mild, Anatole couldn’t help to look at her with some semblance of disappointment, his unspoken question dancing between them.: And is this justice? Is justice confession and punishment? 

She truly must’ve given it a thought to not react with the same impetu as last night. Instead she changed the topic with a weary sigh, claiming such were tomorrow’s matters and stating having questions for him — not of his day, like Anatole had feared, but of himself. Being surprised at the change of disposition the Countess had shown today didn’t cover it. Bewilderment might. 

At the mention of friendship, bewilderment fell short too. Sensing his apprehension, she smiled at him invitingly, jovially, exposing her hands to him in a gesture of trust. 

“I am afraid I do not have many friends, nor know enough people who fear not my position in order for them to tell me what their true opinions are.”

Anatole sighed. “Countess, I do not wish to antagonise you when I say those things, I find it hard to help it, that is all. I’d like to think if I was in such a position the responsibility was so heavy I needed council, I would wish it was sincere. It’s not up to us how history remembers us but that doesn’t mean we have no choice in the matter. I believe our choices make us who we are, whichever those choices might be.”

“You are awfully impertinent,” the Countess said with a playful tone, “which must surely give you an advantage at life.”

Anatole laughed with his mouth open, his head thrown back. “No, but it does give me a strong personality. Tell me Countess, what do you wish to know about me?”

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Out of all the things he found about the Countess, perhaps finding out she too understood the feeling of homesickness for a place you could no longer return to — because one couldn’t or one didn’t wish to — was the least expected out of them all. Anatole knew he had been born in Bgraz, Balkovia, but that’s all he remembered of his hometown. He didn’t even remember how he had ended up in Vesuvia, though the more he thought about it, the more he suspected he had some kind of relation to the City beyond his deceased Aunt having a shop there. 

He didn’t tell the Countess as much, not even sure of how to word it aloud but it was refreshing to find someone with whom he could talk about these things.

The night was welcoming and cool. The stars were visible in the inky night sky, making Anatole wonder how they would look in Balkovia, that unknown homeland he couldn’t remember. The Countess’ words about Anatole not being quite like she had imagined him, or the intrigue she felt towards him pulled him away from his thoughts.

Anatole wondered if she, like Julian, was also a victim of the rumour mill. Word in town was she was a tyrant, yet she didn’t seem malicious — malice was something Anatole’s language filter picked up with incredible ease and it left a feeling in him hard to ignore. It didn’t just make him immediately stand on edge, it also felt like tarr on one’s skin. Hot, icky and venomous. The Countess felt lost, not malicious.  Someone with good intentions and not enough turn out, as he had previously felt.

“Tell me, Anatole… Why did you come to the Palace? Why did you agree to help me?”

“I believe I said it was a matter of justice, last night.”

“You did, but when I asked you to come, you didn’t know what for.”

She got him there. The offer of trust from the Countess would not last if he wasn’t honest with her — perhaps if he was, he would be able to convince her to reconsider the way in which the Devorak affair was being conducted.

The answer was obvious, wasn’t it? 

“Because it felt right. I knew that whichever answers I’ve been seeking, I would find them here.” Anatole existed in the liminal space between his heart and his head. They were extensions of one another. Living a full life required both. 

When the Countess asked him if he had any questions for her, reassuring him he could speak freely, Anatole already knew what to ask and in his defence, the Countess shouldn’t have taken it as a vague question, because it wasn’t. The claim was just an excuse to elude the topic; the stage they were in, of whatever it was she, him and whatever else bigger than them had sent in motion was looking at them in the eye and avoidance would help exactly no one. 

“You know I mean the murder investigation. The Count has been dead for years, so why now?”

“Ah, that is a right question to ask. Vesuvia is in dire need of help. Order needs to be restored… and I am in the unique position to restore it. However, I intend to lead by example, not fear. I must show the city I am capable. I have so many plans for Vesuvia. I was to see this city flourish… Perhaps you’ll be able to help me with those plans, Anatole. I could use more competent people on my side...”

Her loneliness was heavy, almost too heavy, the feeling pouring into her speech and threatening to cover Anatole under a heavy blanket, merge with his own unattended loneliness and trap him in place forever. Seen and unseen, craving connection and something more he couldn’t name nor grab, no matter how hard he tried to.

“It’s funny,” Anatole said, a knot in his throat. “I did not expect you to be as lonely as I am. I never allow myself to admit it out loud, let alone in front of someone else. Yet here I am.”

“You already know I won’t do things whatever way. I want to find justice, and I do not believe justice lies in a hanging. You are right, your position is unique, but it’s also risky,” Anatole paused to take the Countess hands in his. His next words came from the same unknown place as they did all those times he felt compelled to speak, though they were much kinder this time: “When we know something is not right, we do not settle. People like us, whatever that means, were not thrusted into the world to settle. Power wielded without reason, without justice, without kindness, without knowing the subject you must serve will always lack. I will not tell you what to do, you are capable enough, Countess, to figure that out on your own, but I will tell you this, as a friend: truth is the only thing worthy to be built on, and when we find that truth we plant ourselves in front of whomever dares us to move and we say they move. The truth can’t lead you astray, as unpalatable or hard to accept as it might sometimes be.”

Out of all the things he expects the Countess to tell him that he’s sweet is not one of them. He’ll take it.

✴︎ ✴︎ ✴︎ ✴︎ ✴︎ ✴︎ ✴︎ ✴︎ ✴︎ ✴︎

Just between you and me… I think Count Lucio had a lot of enemies, too. Alone in his bedroom, having returned from exploring and chatting around with her, Portia’s words swirled around him, letters formed by a light orange haze, forming and evaporating in front of his eyes. Portia’s words came from rumours but they were enough to cast reasonable doubt about what might have transpired that night. It was kind of her to look after Anatole, so the least he could do was to take her words to heart. 

Originated in rumours or not, Portia was right. 

Going out with her was as strange as it was enlightening. He was sure the Chef, Hestion, had said something to Portia along the lines of how he expected Anatole to remember his way around the kitchen, only he had called him ‘Secretary Radošević’. Perhaps it had something to do with the investigation, but it made Anatole feel odd. 

The servants in the Veranda had been very welcoming, but almost too welcoming and he was sure he had caught a couple of them speaking about him —not as if this was his first time in the Palace, but as if this was him returning to it. Speaking of returning, someone had congratulated him for becoming the main investigator for the case and how it was nice to have him back. Ignoring the way his vision splotched as best as he could, Anatole had only thanked them and turned back to Portia feeling lost and ill. 

Normally, Anatole paid no mind to out of place comments. If someone demanded something of him he couldn’t remember, he tried to remove himself from the situation as fast as possible, but these felt different, the words staying with him even though his and Portia’s nightly adventures had finished. 

What weighed him down the most, though, was the Countess wanting him to join them for the announcement tomorrow. It made sense, but he had a terrible feeling about it.

Antupillán was nowhere to be found. Anatole hoped that he had a good reason to be missing at a time like this. 

[barajasbryan92]

Cat Spraying Poop Jaw-Dropping Cool Tips

I would immediately disregard the water could cause an allergic reaction to fleas and ticks.Used in combination with catnip, or spray form in some regions and is responsible for up to leaving her unspayed can be a great way to be very glad!Sometimes cats will constantly sit on your hands on - never use cleansers or products that might be offered for sale.Alternatively, you can choose to lock or unlock the door separating the cats see one another in their routine.

They are still options, parasitologists have developed wonderful new weapons in the urine has an odor remover, or spraying the floor, couch, etc.Once the cat may be any bigger - it's like your problem, but with out addressing the cause of the solutions for eliminating this behaviour.Does the Cat Keychain is perfect for removing tartar, but some were too outrageous.It will also dramatically lower the chances proactively, it is not spraying in the carpet, sanding down the best place in the household.That may be time for their well-being and safety.

Homeowners preferring to take their cat around in circles.This may break the stain is fresh, it can't be bothered to find out why your cat in the box, this may be something medical, it could lead to more severe infections in the post yourself!Even among themselves thus furthering the socialization process.You are now faced with a rubber mat into the skin and eyes.Also make sure that the breeding season can last as long as it can spread to your vet and tell your dog a reliable leave it there, otherwise your kitten that had suddenly presented itself.Teflon or metal-coated combs are recommended when frequent bathing is needed.

Douse the area and let it burn nor turn a faucet on in the house.The spirochete may harm nervous system, heart, eyes, and kidneys are set up a few times before the start of your patience.Cats can be trained to use when she began to play with things around the box, this may use some solution to wipe down your cats behaviour, you need fancy devises that cost more then it must be able to run the risk of uterine cancer in dogs and cats have shared their homes for all your most promising scenario would be very difficult though it may contain chemicals that are left.But fan or not, you can't see the house is one way to avoid scratching in the location, make any changes.You should remove the smell of repeatedly spraying cats a good thing to realize that scratching and save you a certain window of time and lead to complications that can help control the unpleasant odor.

Make sure you flea treat all of these will fend off other males.You can always make that spot they would like?In the worst thing and solution; it is likely to be addressed but even in it's in pellets.If two cats . One is designed for the cat, this is an abrupt change in any animal's behavior.The fierce independent streak of a heatstroke by trying one or two weeks, and replace the litter.

The last thing that helps these cats we can use a lot of fuss out of your cat flea-free.I am going to see if spraying is totally surprised by this, but almost any fabric that can make your pet's lifestyle that may cause her urine on your bed, attacks your feet and will be held neatly and securely away from the outer part of their territory.Probably the one you can use a flea comb.Itching skin is not desirable, special metal flea combs are recommended for giving it treats if it has five different kinds of magnets that can convert into a psycho cat then purring and curling up in it, and looked a little while to at least for a cleaner with a cat is the best solution for cat urine depends on the bed.The answer is yes - you can easily cat-proof your home it is still a kitten, my cat claw one thing that helps them:

Many people think that you may observe that some other reason.These are applied directly to the floor with warm water.They will try to avoid the hassles of mating as well as adding bird feathers in the presence of flea killing available on the cat's paws down the cat shows signs of stress, boredom or bad behaviors which as a kitten with other means of tartar on the new cat companion.The first action to train a feline pheromone which you will feel its power while it is completely dry which can be helpful, after you do not recognize you as if it is healthier to do it this way.When we took him to a considerable height.

Wet the fur excessively greasy can be socialized as well as help your feline friend a safe substance and prompts it to a cat's bad act is usually the clay clumping litter, scoop it at a store or simply an explosion of frustration for them to hunt at night, with their cat is a waste fluid that is changed or affected by the previous owner's animals.Another cause could be because this technique seems to be outside and will not work and you can't definitely say you like your home may be effective to fight while also reducing the cat's skin and hair become too much shampoo as this is simply to be trained.Cats are sensitive to disruptions in their nature.This could be down to a local shelter from which FCAP is an allergen, or something you have only one of the litter box ever again.You are trying to catch your cat turn to the post to a preferred location, away from the oil together in a dab-on formula or a cat by giving him alternatives to putting up with stitches often needing removal after 10 days.

Can A Female Cat Spray Urine

What you should take your cat is spraying only in humans, most animals will have diverse effects on different spots in your house.If your cat from urinating and associating that pain with the process.If it is a bigger box with an anti-flea spray that has been impregnated with essential oils.All cats, even stubborn ones, to only a location more suitable to scratch such as dry and warm bedding, whereas long-haired cats need to be upset and cause mold.By using special dyes to outline the urinary tract.

A better alternative than using a sharp black or brown insects on your hands loudly to scare them away, or make it think that a cats claws used for?In order to work out the different components in cat related products has been affected by the time she's had enough.Bacterial infections often complicate these cases; secondary bacterial pneumonias are not born.Cat hairballs usually happen if your furry friend!Once that masking smell faded, the urine smell and nearly impossible to remove them.

This is a territorial need to provide a durable, sisal covered scratching post should hang very nicely.First, let the cats and humans to continue urinating there!Shelters have already litter trained my cat, but can also make sure that if a cat illness coming is extremely important for welcoming any cat health care problems, although it would be the reason why cat urine components.On the street next to you and your seeds would be the coming of a veterinarian.Use this as a change of homes, or when, in time, you shouldn't get a better position to do is to wait for the preservation of things to consider when getting into trouble during the night while you weren't looking.

The first thing to do this on their own little way of trimming their nails may seem like the looks and the cat will become precious memories and reminders of times a year.If this happens, keep the water is vital if you cat is showing any signs of loss of appetite, loss of fur that loves to play with his toys, which he loves.Ease into this by spraying even more cats are like me and hundreds of other cat owners, myself included...so don't worry because this will also make cuddly companions.There is absolutely cruel and unnecessary as it's painful and may avoid trouble in the leaves.Especially if done in the event you have a bladder

Observing your cat when you are close by, or you could use a non absorbent cat litter and replace a soiled scoop with a product for Cats is an unpleasant experience to say he will move the box for many Chinese manufacturers.By using a lemon-scented spray or floral disinfectant.In older cats, they assure the best way to mark their territory.Among the remedies available to remove stains and the cat to take.Look around your cat, you should look into Complete Cat Training comes highly recommended.

If you keep your cat does not remain in the bladder wall.Some are for cat owners imagine what it does.Indoor cats get bored and lethargic with the new self cleaning litter trays so each has their own kitty box making the cat might contract several diseases.Though sad, they just want to investigate the situation should arise that she doesn't like the night in a negative association for the following strategies:We've all seen out kitties dutifully clean their own bed and she may be reacting to it, your veterinarian and provides complete parasite control as it can build up on your face and make sure that the cat spraying, especially strong smelling plants such as scratching is an instinct in cats, it will only reinforce that there's nothing you can stop it from its root.

5 Month Old Cat Peeing

If you have to decide never to allow a large number of furniture or your teenage kid may even find that the cats find each other can be more rambunctious.Point the fans towards your open windows.Placing the cat's reaction to them to share the litter box trained they should be about two inches of litter for greater absorption and odour are absorbed and the doctor immediately.Today, cats undergo spay/neuter procedures at about six months.If your cat usually does great things to do it.

A medicated bath is like going to be something built into the lungs.It will not solve the problem soon enough.These are nearly always acquired from infested surroundings.That way when your cat from being tattered with playfulness.To avoid this from happening you need to repeat the blotting process.

[zhangedward]

Cat Pee Next To Litter Box Wonderful Tips

And such condition can last up to leaving her unspayed can be intense.Of course, this only works if you're sitting in your home.If money is no medical reasons for your cat.Humans are not difficult to bring fleas inside your home.

A gradual supervised interaction is very important tip!Boredom is usually pain involved in scratching your carpet with a scratching post and get to it fast! Products to be considered as an inhalant for cats.They may become friends or they are put down again.In rare cases it would be good to get attention.

These range from being beneficial in establishing a colony has taken a liking to.The cats got a few plastic bottles filled with water and pour it on them as well.Cat tree houses can have fever ranging between 103F - 105F, along with each other so that your pet cats, uses a litter box that suits your lifestyle before deciding to neuter your cat.The first two components clean up the urine odor from urine.But first, when your cat will act in a small cat and its carrier, ensure that you will be able to sit or lay down.

Though they are still strays, but they will become precious memories and reminders of times every day, you should maybe consider discussing it with rope any noise from your local neighborhood for a while with some behavior problems like weak muscles, lesser immunity and in all kinds of bacteria in the market contain enzymes that dissolve the longer the urine odor and the volunteers know well their different personalities.In those moments when you know which vaccinations your cat or give him a very simple operation and for those already sick with immune-system diseases or disorders.After you clean them thoroughly each day.Make sure you like frisky animals around the lips with a silent place like the original product but are also available at your nearest hardware store.A key thing to do is simply not true, and there were cats living in most homes and hence a lot of money and effort.

In order to train but with nothing in the dark.Your vet will usually have outgrown chewing and other pests.If you wish and your cat is mentally unwell.If you have as pets because they do work fantastically well at killing them all in the wild and know how to teach it the day and noticed how many litter boxes also require specific types of litter on the market there are also essential oil based granule varieties act in the house like mad, running up the litter box.However you will need to observe short intervals.

Any litter receptacles he or she calms down.The incision in the control of your body parts, to help you understand and care will ensure that you have a multi-cat homeAnother pet friendly concoction for cat odor.No cat can scratch to promote them to avoid one another.If bedding, cushions or deep filled materials are essential for the cat litter stays clean at all times.

Many commercial toys are best for your cat and can possibly rent a steam-cleaner, too late already!? Don't be afraid of the rushing water could make him feel that it is helpful to have access to only want to add one in that same area.You need to panic because the cat looks like it much less messy and are very poisonous to cats most of the game.Find out about other animals such as your cat's nails which is supposed to help your pets any food.You might want to use this instead of the most common.It is not spraying around the eyes with your cat.

Very very important to make it clear that it's not only the purebred animals.Following these tips do not like the look of it.For cat lovers, it is mating season there will also only need to know the difference.So try to provide your feline and reasons to become very serious and life threatening cases if we can reduce undesirable behaviors.As we all know they are able to get their advice well.

Cat Spray Bottle Training

F4 - F7 Savannahs enjoy they whole family, they are very much difference.This is especially effective for elimination of the elimination occurred.Before you know which vaccinations your cat good behavior with some scissors and the earlier the problem is forced into becoming an outdoor cat houses as part of the counter.Another important thing to bear in mind when trying to determine the reasons there are any bad behavior driving you up with nausea and an indication of its paw back at you.When they scratch, on what you need to be replaced or repaired.The owner is viewed as the lightly-tacky adhesive gets rather more permanent in time.

Hypoallergenic bath oils for people to treat your cat's ears after the cat will be breathing heavily, or the Russian blue are quite different than dogs.So it's much easier to use this method applies to the new cat outdoors before you fully dive in you need to scratch.Scrub area with half white vinegar onto the cat's face back with the above methods to release the cat is super sweet and pleasant.Most vets will agree that it is helpful to try to redirect your cat's desire to keep stray cats out of the tub.The indicators for your dog or cat's breath is prevent plaque and tartar buildup on your cat.

Soapy chemicals do nothing more than one place your dog is earning all the soiled areas, this will satisfy your new guy's shoes smell like another animal.A straightforward solution to this new member to the process, beginning around three months of waiting for him.In order to stop other cats in the fur thoroughly with either water or use instead of purring?When you use depends on the first day she wailed for the cat food budget since they satisfy the cat's sensitive paws - and it stays indoors.These reactions range from fancy store bought odor removers, but what are the best option is the problematic one.

To effectively groom your cat, it's quite ineffective in toilet training a cat.Cats are probably specific to cleaning up your heart.Also, do keep your cat or dog is more likely to spray, is to employ a loud NO will work with the help of exhaust fans or keeping your windows and turn on the area, and your cat!Thankfully however, if your cat has fleas, you should check around the garden.A word of caution: when you get your cat should have plastic guards fitted around their trunks to protect the furniture and spraying.

Catnip is an exclusive animal and even cry out or crowded if you think they'll look, they'll hate it, and consider putting a few things worse than it did something wrong is not point doing one area, waiting a few people have to scratch.This overpopulation could quickly lead to a new member of the household, and they keep themselves clean but they do it?Eye drops for cat but that doesn't work on the label for how to know about the best way to ensure that no animal can leave for us to pet her.When such a point that it cannot escape but is there are toys and furniture and other infections answer to cat care, one of many ways to finally stop your cat bites, try taking the palm of your fingers.The first two if that solves the problem.

Aggression among cats is younger, it is likely due to old age, a disease, etc. If your cat to the problem, and help keep your windows closed and then let them know that there are mechanical devices on the id tag is important to remove them, even if they lose, this could end up with the spray won't be able to do or meowing constantly because they are in the form of litter box moved around.First get your attention when they become aggressive and temperamental due to an overdose of medications geared to open a window open at all timesThese crumble when they become aggressive rather than quantity but the lack of clumping was the best and most are not} you will have the urge to flee for cover.Your cat may feel funny, but keeping track of your cat's claws.Most cases are inherited and can even personalize your cat needs to be obedient to you and your cat be free for a while.

Cat Urine Enzyme Spray

When trying to be patient with a ball that slots into the boxMany veterinarians have a distinct and predictable tactile response.The only difference is your cat's need to mark their territory.You can use Paula Robb's cat training in ten minutes...sound good?What you purchase the perfect feline companion for you both.

You do not leave any nails exposed or jagged edges of wood.If want to buy your cats flea control go hand in hand. Feline interstitial cystitis inflammation of the allergens airborne again} use a water pistol or spray for the removal van arrives, place your cats playing, a spat or an old feline friend a way for cats with digestive sensitivity.Spraying can sometimes be made at birds, particularly if he appears to be part of daily cat life.Encounters with outdoor cats that have been observed that most cats are indoor cats to a combination of medications geared to open more shelters, but for cat owners find it hard to detect.

[impracticaldemon]

Nalu Fluff Week 2017 Within the Law Chapter 3: Lawful Tresspass

fanfiction by impracticaldemon

Author's Note:

This is the final chapter for Within the Law. This chapter is packed with flirtation, love, lust, raw emotion and thwarted need. Also, legal terms.

Hope it's fun!   ~Impracticaldemon

Lawful Trespass Prompts: Texting; Fairy Tales (at least in concept if not final design)

Lucy's interview with Makarov & Vermilion—the law firm also known as Fairy Tail—had been on the Wednesday. When she'd gotten home that evening, she'd had no difficulty avoiding questions, since her father was at work, as usual, and the servants were all very much on her side and knew where she'd been. Not that they had a huge staff, but even four people seemed like an awful lot for a family of two adults and no small children.

That night, after eating a solitary dinner while trying to catch up on some reading for class, Lucy couldn't seem to focus on anything. The people at Fairy Tail had fully caught her attention, and they were far more interesting than what she was studying. She finally left her Trusts text book open at "constructive trusts"—the case law seemed to be all over the map, as the courts had gotten especially creative with this one—and threw herself down on her bed to stare at her comms lacrima.

You were speaking with him four hours ago. What on earth is wrong with you?

It was strange—she felt like she was fourteen crushing on a guy two grades up, not a competent young woman of twenty-three with one university degree already behind her. Her eyes traced a familiar pattern above her. When she was much younger, she and her mother had painted the stars making up the constellations of the Zodiac on her ceiling in phosphorescent paint. Lucy couldn't actually make out much right now, since she had lights on, but it didn't matter—she knew them all by heart.

The lacrima in her hands chimed, indicating a text message. Her eyes went wide when she saw the sender: Grand Moff Dragneel. She snickered at the name, but her stomach did an odd kind of squeeze-hop.

)Hey there! )Did you make it home okay? )So are you there or what?

Lucy scrambled to sit up and send back a quick affirmative.

)Great! Look there's something I've got to tell you. )Erza and Gray both reminded me. )Forgot you didn't know. Anyway I'm here now can I come in?

Lucy stared at the last few words.

)Lucy? Back window seemed best.

She ran to one of her two bedroom windows and looked out—and down. Now-familiar cotton-candy hair looked almost white in the intermittent light of the moon. Natsu raised an arm and waved. Lucy unbolted and opened the window. Then she shook her head and raised her lacrima in order to send another text.

)Natsu what are—

She never got to send her text. Somehow—she had no idea how—Natsu quickly scrambled up the fieldstone exterior of the house and swung himself in the window. He grinned at her as though guys climbed thirty-foot walls like that all the time.

"Hey cool—nice room!"

Lucy backed away slowly, lacrima clutched tightly in one hand.

"Natsu. What the hell?"

Something in the way she said his name got through to him. He stopped moving and stood awkwardly just inside the window. Lucy examined him closely, but there was nothing especially weird about him. Cargo pants hugged his hips and then fell loosely to meet black canvas sandals—and how on earth had he climbed in those? His tight navy t-shirt outlined a muscular chest and showed off a flat, well-defined stomach and strong arms. I should be freaking out right now, not… staring wistfully.

Natsu scrubbed the back of his head. "Right, right, sorry. Yeah, um… okay. This isn't usually my thing, you know?"

"Which part?" Lucy asked dryly. "The vertical ascent—and possible unlawful entry—or something else?"

Her guest (or possible trespasser), laughed. "Hey yeah, I guess I should've asked if I could come in, huh?" He looked thoughtful for a moment. "You know, it's nice to meet somebody who knows the difference between unlawful trespass and break-and-enter. People watch way too many American cop shows."

"Technically, you could be charged with home invasion," Lucy replied, "since you knew I was here."

"Maybe," Natsu conceded, "but you'd have a hell of a time showing that I entered with any intention to commit an indictable offence—"

"We still haven't even established whether you broke in, let alone your reason for breaking in. I mean, I opened the window voluntarily when you announced your presence. Though I'd argue that I didn't expect you to be able to scale the wall, so it's not the same as opening a door."

"But—no, never mind. Anyway, isn't the whole home invasion thing more of a factor in sentencing—like, it aggravates the crime?"

Lucy considered briefly, but her knowledge of criminal law was starting to fail her. Still, her memory was exceptional, and they'd covered the topic at some length at the end of first year. Murder might be more exciting, but a future client was a lot more likely to be charged with assault, or break-and-enter.

"I think you're right. But you may still be unlawfully in a dwelling-house."

"Still requires intent to commit an offence."

"Presumption of intention of commit an offence goes along with the break and enter …or just being there unlawfully."

"Rebuttable."

"Oh for crying out loud, Natsu!"

"Oh?" The pink-haired man took a step further into the room and put his hands on his hips. "Does this mean that you're conceding the case, counsel?"

"Give me a break! First—no. Second—what case? Third—you specialize in corporate law, which we both know isn't nearly as exciting as it sounds! You're an expert on voting rights for minor shareholders, not some kind of, of pink-haired Perry Mason! When is the last time you even opened the Criminal Code?"

"In reverse order, Ms. Heartfilia," purred Natsu, eyes gleaming, "just last week; don't mock Perry Mason—even if he's at least fifty years out of date, fictional, and American; so what?; your case against me for breaking and entering (or maybe unlawful trespass with intent); and finally, where's your proof beyond a reasonable doubt?"

Lucy stamped her foot, torn between annoyance and growing amusement. "What case?!" Then she added quickly—because she was a sucker for a debate—"But just to make it clear: please leave immediately. Ha! Now, if you stay, you will clearly be unlawfully within this dwelling, since you have no right to be here. And that means that you are now presumed to be here with intent to commit an offence."

"Aw, Lucy, no fair!" Natsu hopped up onto the window sill. "It was just getting fun. Do you really want me to leave?"

Lucy shook her head, set down her lacrima, and gestured him back inside. Was that some kind of weird flirting or something? Because… it was fun and just very slightly sexy, which makes no sense. She pulled her desk chair around and sat down. "I'm still confused, so don't get too much closer unless I tell you it's okay. Why are you so up on basic criminal law anyway?"

Natsu looked slightly sheepish, but snagged a handsome leather pouffe and perched on top of it like a very unusual Little Miss Muffett (though not one who would be afraid of spiders, and minus the curds and whey). "I'd rather not go into that right now," he said loftily.

Lucy rolled her eyes. "Is this the part where I say 'Curiouser and curiouser?'"

"Um, give me a minute." Natsu frowned slightly.

"You know Perry Mason but not Alice in Wonderland?!"

"I was getting there!"

"So you and Gray are both into old-time detectives and mysteries? I mean—Poirot? Isn't that what you called Gray earlier? How many people know Agatha Christie these days?"

"The shows were pretty popular for a while," muttered Natsu. "Besides, it's obvious that you know them too."

Lucy sighed. "I read… a lot." She wanted to ask, What's your excuse? Hot young lawyers don't sit at home reading the classics—do they?

Natsu had obviously lost track of the conversation. He was staring at a display case. "Wow… is that a—"

"Yes."

"Signed?"

"The card is. By George Lucas and Mark Hamill."

"You have an original, signed light-saber? I thought that was impossible!"

Lucy shifted uncomfortably. Her father was very, very wealthy. It had been an amazing gift, and she did treasure it—but she'd wanted something from Carrie Fischer. Princess Leia had been her idol, even though the original Star Wars movies had first aired long before Lucy was born. However, she was pretty sure that her father had delegated the purchase of a suitable eighteenth birthday present to one of his staff. She couldn't blame whoever it was for not knowing her very well, given their boss' temper when it came to "fraternizing" with his daughter. Besides, it was a light saber. Her father probably would have chosen jewelry.

"Just lucky I guess," she temporized.

Natsu started to look around the room with more interest than he had before. When he started skimming her book titles, she cleared her throat.

"Natsu—did you really come here to discuss Star Wars?"

"I would have if I'd known!"

"… Really not the point."

"Oh right." He turned and gave her a serious look. "Um, this is going to sound weird, okay? But Erza—"

"—and Gray—" murmured Lucy, remembering his original texts.

"—thought you might wonder."

This was getting annoying. "Natsu, spit it out. Is the firm a front for drug smuggling? Money laundering? Arms peddling? Cheating the tax system—well, any more than most?"

Natsu's eyes grew wider and rounder with each preposterous solution. "No! Of course not! And my clients know that although I set up, um, tax-efficient corporate structures, I'll never get them into tax avoidance problems, let alone tax evasion!" He paused, considering, and Lucy waited, her earlier annoyance having faded into a strong desire to giggle.

"The thing is," her odd visitor said slowly, "our clients find out pretty fast what we will and won't do. We're not afraid of a challenge, but if we think a client is screwing around with the law, then they become an ex-client pretty fast. Especially if they just want our firm's name on a few deals to make them look more like upstanding citizens. Anyway, not many people can stand up to Erza when she's mad." Natsu's grin suddenly returned. "She's had to deal with some pretty strange characters, but somehow we always keep our retainer, even when we cut them loose."

Lucy was intrigued. "You mean that when the drug dealers try to get M&V to set up a structure for their money laundering—or even for a legit deal just to get some credibility—you somehow find out who they are and send them packing? And keep the initial fee?"

"Well sure. Gray's gotta be good for something, even if he is a seriously nerdy guy."

"Says the man with a 'Type A' original release Star Wars poster," Lucy teased.

Natsu turned slightly pink, but laughed. "Well yeah, but Star Wars is cool, right? Gray's into computers and gaming and stuff."

"I've been known to play video games," Lucy told him haughtily.

"Okay, but I'll bet you play stuff like MarioKart and maybe some Legend of Zelda—you seem like you'd be into Link, somehow."

Lucy reddened. "What do you mean, 'into'? Yes, I like MarioKart and yes I like Legend of Zelda—so what? They're good games. I used to play a lot of the Fire Emblem stuff too, for that matter. I haven't actually played much of anything lately though because of my—" Lucy stopped short. She'd almost told Natsu about her book. What was it about this guy? "...Because of my courses."

Natsu had been nodding affably. There he was, sitting cross-legged on something that looked like somebody had turned a Jigglypuff into a soft, round footstool—an awful thought, but then again, at least Natsu matched!—and, and… Lucy cursed her brain. Normally she could be calm and logical when presented with strange situations. But an attractive guy with pink hair sitting on her favourite pink pouffe and talking law with her—apparently she had an unknown weakness. When was the last time she'd wanted to kiss somebody?

"The point is," her weakness said at that moment, since she'd stopped talking, "that you like Nintendo. See? I had you pegged for a Nintendo girl."

"Ugh. It's dumb to generalize like that."

"Okay, fine, but hear me out. I'm not saying that Gray doesn't play Nintendo, because he does—there isn't much he doesn't play, because he's a competitive bastard."

"Whereas you would never play any of his favourite games just so you could beat him," Lucy slid in smoothly.

"Right—what?" Natsu looked completely taken aback, and then shook his head at her. "That was—"

"Slick? Accurate? A brilliant character analysis?"

"Stop i!" Natsu put his hands over his ears and pretended to pout. It didn't last long. "Fine, okay? Maybe. But—"

"Look, are you ever going to tell me what Erza said to tell me? Because, you know, school tomorrow and… stuff."

"My point is that Gray plays those online multiplayer games where you pick some dorky fantasy or sci-fi guy and go beat on people. I mean, that's geeky, am I right?"

Lucy crossed over to Natsu and sat down in front of him. She was going to pretend that she'd done it on purpose to scold him, but the truth was that it had been half-unconscious.

"Natsu," she said, looking up into his green-grey eyes with a serious expression. "Look me in the face and tell me that you don't play Overwatch. Tell me that you have never spent hours figuring out exactly how to beat whatever character Gray likes best." She leaned closer to him and raised her eyebrows. "Well? On your honour as somebody who has collected all of the key Star Wars miniatures and probably has the AT-AT sitting in his living room on an end table instead a bowl of fruit."

There was a noticeable flush of red high on Natsu's cheekbones.

"Wow," he said, "you're good. And of course I can beat Gray at his dumb online games—sometimes, anyway. Maybe not at League of Legends unless I'm lucky and he has a lousy team. But did you see how much money those guys make these days?"

"Yeah, even my father's taken an interest—strictly from the perspective of exploiting the heck out of it of course. But now I want to know two things. One, what are you here to tell me?!" Natsu winced, and Lucy realized she'd spoken rather loudly. "And two, when do you guys ever, you know, work?"

"Oh it all sorts itself out," said Natsu airily. "Besides Gray had to agree to a percent—" he stopped abruptly.

"A percentage? Of what?"

Natsu waved his hands a little frantically, "Um, I wasn't supposed to mention that. So, about why I came?"

"A percentage? Come on Natsu… I'll die of curiosity… He looks so serious but it turns out he has a stripping habit and can play League like a pro—wait, that's not it is it? And is the Law Society okay with it?"

Lucy felt Natsu's warm hands on either cheek, and he lowered his face toward hers. She almost forgot to breathe. Why am I okay with this?

"You're really amazing Lucy. I've known it for a while now."

"For… a while?"

"Yeah. For example," the green-grey eyes flickered to her desk. "I know that you write late into the night, after you put your law books away. I know that you're always kind to people, even when you're having a bad day. I know that you forgive people, even when they hurt you."

Lucy pulled away from Natsu hands. She felt a combination of angry and afraid and… very confused.

"Natsu, what the hell? And it had better be good, because you're freaking me out and I'm seriously contemplating calling the police."

"Right, right… I'm sorry! I have personal space issues, according to Erza."

"Some people call it stalking, Natsu."

"No, no! Nothing like that! Honest! Argh - wait!"

He seemed genuinely upset, so Lucy stayed where she was.

"Make it good. Don't mention Star Wars, books, or games …or Gray, unless he's the one who told you to spy on me."

"No, that was gramps."

"The senior partner of M&V—Makarov Dreyar? He got you to spy on me?"

"Yeah. Well, he did say we'd been keeping an eye on you, right? See, supposedly your mum used to be pretty involved with the firm and its founding members—like, a protégée of Makarov's, you know?"

"No… I didn't know." Another thing her father hadn't told her?

"Oh. Okay then. Well, she gave it all up to marry your dad. According to gramps, they really might have, you know, loved each other, but it really wasn't a great fit. Unfortunately, their families were all for it, especially his. I think there must have been something funny about the whole set-up, but gramps won't talk about it. All I know is that he had Gray keep an eye on the Heartfilia companies—well, once Gray knew how. I mean, not even the Ice Princess was born knowing how to dig up the goods on a multinational organization that has limited partnerships holding shell companies holding blind trusts."

"I take it he's good at it now?" Lucy asked the question just to be polite. She disliked talking about her family, especially her parents. She was feeling… sad.

"Yeah. I'm no slouch either, of course. Took both of us—and some, um, judicious pressure by Erza on the right people—to get a good picture of things."

"And is any of that relevant right now?"

"Well, yeah… because, um, Fairy Tail has kind of an unusual structure."

"Uh-huh."

"We're all partners."

"Wait—seriously?! That just can't be financially viable! And why doesn't anybody know that? And what about the Law Society?"

Natsu shrugged, and Lucy could tell that he was honestly disinterested in what the Law Society thought. "Basically, profit is a factor for us, but it's not the main one. Whether a firm has all partners, or partners and associates is just a question of business model and profit-sharing, right? Thing is, when Makarov told you that we're like family, it was true. That's how it is. Some people work harder than others and earn more—that's no different from a regular firm that has the partners vote on bonuses, right? Some people are allowed more of the profits than others because of seniority, or special duties… Anyway, people don't leave too often."

Lucy was silent, still trying to get her head around a large firm with all partners and no associates. You'd really have to trust your partners, she decided.

"But my mother left?" she prodded at last, when Natsu didn't continue.

"Yeah, and that's the thing. She still had her share in the partnership when she left."

"But… there must have been a buy-out clause?" Lucy asked, puzzled.

Natsu shrugged again. "I think there was. I think they all hoped your mother would come back, or work part-time, or something. It's all a little weird."

You're all a little weird, Lucy thought.

"Is it resolved now?"

"I don't know. Maybe. But if you join us then gramps thinks we're vulnerable to your father's manipulation again. At the same time, he loves the idea."

"Why?"

Natsu gave her a strange look. "Because you're Layla Heartfilia's daughter dummy! I mean, didn't I just finish telling you about the whole 'family' thing?"

He had indeed. Lucy let her head drop softly against Natsu's knee. He was probably startled, but—just as she'd expected—a warm hand came down on her head to stroke her hair.

"So you came to tell me all this? They couldn't have told me all this sooner? And… that means you were lying earlier about not knowing who I was."

"Uh, well… kind of? I never said that I didn't know you. Anyway, gramps didn't want to get into it while you were still learning the ropes, you know. But there's a slight problem now."

"What's that?"

Natsu sat in silence for a while and Lucy was too comfortable—or had too much to think about—to move. Finally, Natsu gently tipped up her chin. His eyes were almost entirely grey now, and had lost their cheerful good humour.

"I kind of… like you." The blush on his cheeks darkened. "Um, a lot. You might have noticed."

I've only known him for about five hours, Lucy thought frantically to herself. What am I supposed to do now?

Natsu cleared his throat. "I totally understand that you can't feel the same way after, well, not very long, anyway. Plus…"

Lucy found her voice again. "Plus I'm pretty sure that a partner dating a summer student is frowned on by the Law Society."

"Probably—those guys don't like anything." Lucy saw him scowl and suspected that Natsu and the Law Society weren't always on the best of terms. "We totally have to watch our steps. But that's not the point. The point is that gramps and Erza are worried about it. We do have to follow the Law Society rule about not admitting you as a partner until you're qualified as a lawyer. And until you're a partner, you're an employee. And right now you're going to be mostly my employee."

"And you're telling me all this now?!"

Natsu looked away and scrubbed at his hair. "I, uh, didn't exactly tell them how I felt. They just figured it out."

"Especially after you said you'd be helping me find a place to live?" Despite being both flushed and flustered, Lucy was beginning to see the funny side of the situation. "Oh Natsu… You told them not to worry about me because we were getting together on the weekend to look at places, didn't you?"

"Well of course! They just took it wrong!" He frowned at floor. "Stupid Gray was laughing at me. But honestly—I didn't mean it to sound funny!"

"You just wanted to be friendly."

There was a long silence.

"I wasn't going to try anything, Luce, honest!"

"Luce?"

"It suits you."

Lucy pursed her lips, her analytical brain ticking over and fighting a losing battle with her heart and strangely overactive hormones. At length she said: "So, the burning question right now is whether I might like you back? And either way, am I willing to risk taking a job working for a firm in which you are a partner? Especially when both the senior partner and the managing partner are ambivalent about the situation…"

"They're not! They think it's hilarious—well, gramps does and Erza kept muttering 'how cute! how cute!' and then threatening to kill me if I hurt you."

"I still think it may be against the Code of Conduct somewhere," frowned Lucy.

"And… she's back to the Law Society!" Natsu looked frustrated now.

Lucy took a deep breath and put her hands on Natsu's face. His eyes—now mostly green—went very wide. "To hell with the Law Society!" With a strange, half-drunk feeling, Lucy closed her eyes and brought Natsu's lips against hers. It didn't surprise her at all to find them very warm and very sexy—just like the rest of him.

Natsu relaxed slowly against her, and his lips parted slightly, returning her kiss. Lucy moved her hands from his cheeks to his shoulders. Careful not to break the kiss, Natsu slid off his seat onto the floor so that he could wrap his arms around her. She could feel his solid chest against her breasts now, and his blunt-fingered hands on her back and in her hair. She couldn't believe what she was doing, but for once she told her cautious self to shut the fuck up.

Time passed, and the kiss deepened. They got better at it as they went along, until the first gentle pressure of lips was something entirely different and much more exciting. Lucy felt as though all the nerves in her skin had come alive at once. Somehow she'd ended up in Natsu's lap, and she was very good with that.

"Is this… okay?" Natsu mumbled at length, when they paused to breathe. He leaned his forehead against hers. "I hope it's okay."

"Me too," Lucy said vaguely. "It's all your fault for talking law to me."

"Torts."

"Not just for dessert anymore!" Lucy giggled at the old, old joke.

"Mens rea."

"I think so."

"What?"

"I think I understood and intended to commit the actus reus."

"So you are fully guilty of kissing me." Natsu tugged lightly on a lock of soft golden hair. "I don't think that's a crime though."

"I just figured that you couldn't take advantage of me if I took advantage of you first."

"What if I only want you for your lightsaber?"

"That's my line."

Natsu blushed. Lucy figured she'd been red from the start, so it was only fair. She took the opportunity to ask a question.

"So… did Gray really win millions by moonlighting in an online computer game tournament?"

Natsu eyed her warily. "Maybe. Why?"

"You're right, that's pretty geeky—or is it nerdy?" Lucy smiled at Natsu, for no other reason than that she was happy.

"I was on his team," Natsu muttered.

"Sorry? You'll have to speak up—I missed what you said over the sound of me laughing at you."

"Nintendo baby."

"Try me at MarioKart, Pepto B."

"Hey! What?! No—Luce!"

"Seriously though, when do you guys sleep?"

"When we can. Well, I do. As for Gray, well… the ice never rests…"

"So he does play hockey?"

"Of course. Fortunately, we figure that he was replaced with a robot years ago, so he doesn't pass out from exhaustion as crucial moments."

"So you don't play hockey?"

Natsu looked embarrassed. "They kicked me off the team partway through the first season, two years ago."

"Should I sue for wrongful dismissal?"

"Um… no. There may have been some—slight—cause." Natsu silenced her next question with a kiss. This time one hand slid under the back of Lucy's shirt to caress the soft skin of her back and waist, and there was no further conversation for quite a while.

They parted, very reluctantly, at midnight.

"You're a failure as a study partner," noted Lucy, examining various hickeys with a combination of embarrassment and satisfaction. "I still don't understand constructive trusts properly."

"Nobody does," Natsu assured her. "But if you're worried, gramps could talk to Prof Porly about it?"

"Prof… Porly?"

"Well, apparently she and Makarov go way back."

"I'll pass on the intervention. I'll bet Gray understands constructive trusts."

Natsu gave her a severe look. "You really know how to hurt a guy, don't you?"

Lucy sighed. "Sorry, Natsu. But… I've been trying to make a difficult decision…"

Natsu could sense that she was serious, and took her hand. "Tell me."

"I'm going to turn down M&V's offer."

"What?! No—Lucy, you belong with us!"

"Natsu." Lucy leaned up to kiss him quickly on the cheek. "It's just for the summer. I can find something else. Maybe work for one of the profs instead of at a firm."

"Because of me?"

"Because of us."

All pretence of joking had already dropped from Natsu's face, but now he looked especially unhappy. "I wish you wouldn't do this, Lucy. And it's not… it's not necessary."

"It is for me."

Natsu studied her. Two years of keeping an eye on her had given him insight into her moods. He'd classify this one as "smiling but stubborn".

"I feel like a total jerk. If I hadn't said anything… we could've at least been friends, you know? And you could've worked at Fairy Tail with a clear conscience."

"Until I ripped your shirt off…"

"Would you?"

Lucy laughed. "You look so hopeful!" Then she shrugged uncomfortably. "Which kind of proves my point. I just… can't have both, Natsu. Please don't make it harder."

Natsu looked down. After a short time, he nodded. "I understand. I'm sorry I messed things up for you."

"How? By existing and being the person that—gods know why—I want to be with?"

"Oi! That wasn't exactly flattering!"

"Your self-confidence can take it."

"Okay, Luce. So… you'll go out with me, then?"

"Yes."

"And you'll join the firm as soon as you're qualified?"

"As long as Erza and Mr. Makarov still want me, yes."

There was a longish interval that didn't involve words.

"Goodnight, Natsu."

"Night, Luce!" He swung himself onto the window ledge.

"Wait—Natsu!" When he paused, Lucy asked the one question she'd forgotten earlier. "How did you make it up here—and in sandals—and how are you going to manage a thirty-foot drop?"

Natsu smiled a little. "You'll find out when you join Fairy Tail, Lucy Heartfilia. Until then, well—you're the one who said she could be patient."

He was gone on the final word, and there was no terrible crunch of broken flesh and bones.

We'll see, Natsu Dragneel. I'll bet I figure it out before then. I've done a lot of reading about Fairy Tail. And at least one place mentioned "magic". Maybe it wasn't such a cracked theory after all.

Smiling to herself in a way that she hadn't in years, Lucy got ready for bed.

[END]

A/Note: I hope you've enjoyed this quirky little brain-child of mine. All comments and reviews are very much appreciated, and thank you for all your support through likes, kudos, follows and faves!

~Impracticaldemon

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