#a similar thing is happening with my reading motivation but i have WAAAAAY way way more motivation for reading than i do for drawing

[le-velo-pour-dru]

I'm genuinely so concerned about the fact that I don't have motivation for my creative hobbies anymore ._. I don't know what happened, and I don't know how to get back into them, and it freaks me out

[linkspooky]

Hello again! It’s me! The one who asked a bunched of questions about your Werewolf fic!

Thank you for answering them! It really did clears things up for me!

I actually got a few of more question actually, since I sort of forgot to ask them last time. (Although, that ask was getting long enough so maybe it was a blessing?)

Anyway, my first question is that, Mai mentioned how Maki killed the Hei man in order to protect, but it seems like it was the Hei man that took Maki alone and then Maki killed him out of self defense. Am I missing some subtle context? Or was there a sinister motive behind the Hei man?

Second question is that since Mai went solo by going to Ito Rie’s house, does that mean that Shoko, Maki, and Nobara were back at the hotel? What were they doing during that time? I was surprised that Mai was able to go solo since Nobara would probably be up in Mai’s head since she would think Mai is slacking off again or something.

Third question, since the “Faceless Maki” is actually a shadow cursed spirit that Mai manifested what grade would it be? It seem to be pretty intelligent (seems to be a bit full of it self, which I love. cute quirky little curse). So would you say it to be above Grade 1? And how long ago did this curse started to manifest?

Last one. I doubt you would be able to write anytime soon since writing takes a while, and life stuff happens. But I do wonder if you have a vague idea when you going to write the epilogue and the sequel?

Oh! But do take your time tho! Self care is waaaaay more important! I just want have a general idea out of curiosity. You don’t have to answer it if you don’t wanna.

Hello, don’t worry about sending me asks about my fics I love to talk about them so I can answer these all day long! Thank you so much for reading and sharing your thoughts with me.

Okay, so I answered.this question a little bit [here already], but let’s say there are darker implications on the kind of abuse women face in the Zenin clan. 

My intention when writing that scene was basically to show the two ways that Maki and Mai display their victimhood, Mai tends to be entirely passive she endures what she has been through and then bottles it all up deep down inside of her. Maki has always fought back and retaliated with violence. 

It was also to show the way they reacted to what essentially is similar abuse in the Zenin clan is so different, and also the way they show concern for one another is different. More or less what happened in that scene which I left to an implication because I didn’t want to be gratuitious about it is that a man who was a member of the Hei squad, later went on to try to abuse Maki in the same way. However, in this case Maki snapped and murdered him because Maki fights back and Mai endures. 

Afterwards, Mai discovers Maki with the body and helps her twin sister who has just committed a murder hide the body so Maki won’t get into even more trouble with their family than she already is. Mai perceives Maki’s violence as the way Maki both protects herself, and her. Which makes sense because Maki has assumed the role of the stronger one and the protector ever since they were children and Mai was scared to look at the cursed spirits that Mai couldn’t see so Maki held her hand and promised to never abandon her.

 Mai has much more complicated feelings about her sister that she shows on the surface, and also admires Maki in a way and sees Maki as the stronger one and so she saw Maki’s action as killing the same person who abused Mai as protecting her. We don’t really see Maki’s perspective in this flashback so we don’t know exactly what happened, did Maki kill this man because she knew what happened to Mai, or did she just snap and kill him out of self defense b/c Maki cannot take the abuse that the Zenin continually heaps on her without reaching a breaking point and lashing out with violent retribution. 

For Mai there’s admiration for her sister’s strength and also a sense of inferiority and envy because she believes herself to be “lesser” because she doesn’t fight back, she endures instead, however in that scene after Maki snapped and killed a man the one who helped her hide the body was Mai, and Mai has always tried to be there for her sister in her own way. 

Okay, so it’s still fair you’re confused by this because I didn’t transition between the scenes too well. IT’s a bit difficult in a limited perspective to keep track of where everyone is, but you know I could have done a better job as well because what is clear in my head isn’t always clear what I write. 

Basically, from the start Mai has announced her intention to slack off and not attempt to do anything helpful for the Jujutsu Mission, and like she did sneak out to go drinking so like she’s already shown Noara once that she fully intends to goof off on the mission. 

Shoko, Maki and Nobara are all taking the mission seriously and attempting to search the area for the cursed spirit to fight, and they are investigating in a more standard way, they are probably properly following whatever Shoko’s instructions are on what to do next.

 Umm, one idea for a scene that I had that ended up getting cut was that Shoko after finding out that Maki killed an innocent girl by accident was going to have to give the body back to the parents of that girl and also come up with a lie as to why that girl died. And Maki was with her for that and tried to explain to the mother what happened to her daughter. 

Nobara has been following Mai around constantly through the fic. However, I think after the whole ordeal of both burying the body of the girl Maki killed on accident and then kissing Mai while they had a corpse in the truck was something Nobara needed to take some time to herself to sort through her thoughts. We didn’t really get to see that but basically, in the epilogue chapter there’s a scene planned that shows Nobara and Mai still aren’t really communicating. Basically, they both agree not to talk about the kiss, and that they don’t like each other, b/c Nobara just doesn’t really want to think about it, the everything that happened, her new perspective on Maki as someone violent, her seeing a more positive side of Mai both of them are like shaking Nobara’s foundations and Nobara is pretty fixed in their beliefs. Basically, they agree they don’t like each other, and then say the kiss is a mistake and will never happen again. And then they kiss again. Like idiots. Therefore ending it on a cliffhanger. 

Faceless Maki / MAi is a shadow cursed spirit that Mai manifested. I can actually give you a bunch more lore I thought of for her, since she’s going to be important in the planned sequel to the fic. 

Her name is Mai Mai. Or Maiko. Or Not-Mai. 

Not-Mai is the most common one she uses. The rest are just silly names she came up with for herself. She is the cursed spirit who is Not-Mai. She’s based off of the legend of doppelgangers, another version of yourself who will hunt you down and then replace you, however rather than disliking Mai she likes her and therefore rather than malevolent her intentions are more positive. 

She is essentially Mai’s jungian shadow who is made up of the repressed parts of Mai’s personality, she messes with Mai’s head a little bit, she makes Mai question herself because she is the unconscoius part of Mai’s mind that is made up of everything Mai won’t acknowledge and because Mai is an incredibly repressed individual as she endures rather than fight back, all of those repressed thoughts and feelings have to go somewhere. However, Mai’s shadow doesn’t hate her, for two reasons, the shadow isn’t the evil side of yourself, it’s just made of the thoughts and feelings you don’t acknowledge. You can never get rid of your shadow, you can only accept it and work with it. The second is that as negative as Mai is about herself, Mai is also a very loving person, in canon itself her love for Mai is extremely selfless cultivating in her going back to the Zenin House for the sake of Maki when she is a much weaker person who had no hope of fighting back, and also giving her life for her. Mai is a person capable of loving, and who wants to be loved in return, so therefore the cursed spirit that Mai created doesn’t hate her because even at her deepest most repressed self Mai isn’t a hateful person. 

It’s kind of like the duality of self-loathing, and a desire for self-love that is the conflict that makes up Mai’s character arc. You have to actively work through feelings of self-loathing before you can reach self acceptance. 

Her shadow is a grade one cursed spirit around the same level of power as Choso. However, her power doesn’t lie really in physical battles her real talent is hiding in people’s shadows and watching through their eyes. She’s a spirit of deception and camouflage rather than physical prowess, matching the doppelganger myth. But she is abovet Grade One due to her sentience. She doesn’t technically have to be in Mai’s shadow, she could jump to Maki’s shadow, to Nobara’s shadow if she really really wanted to, she just likes Mai the most. 

She could be a lot stronger, she could use a version of Mai’s cursed technique because she is a copy of Mai (basically two abilities: scan where she hides in someone’s shadow and observes, and second: create where she copies someone. She is an exact copy of Mai. She could theoretically be a copy of someone else, but she would lose her current dientity as a copy of Mai. She wants to stay Mai so she doesn’t change.) She COULD theoretically use Mai’s cursed technique, but she would have to consume a lot of Mai’s cursed energy to do so, or even potentially eat Mai. She has reserves of cursed energy that are higher than Mai’s and can use RCT right now due to her nature as a pure cursed technique, but her refusal to take any real cursed energy from Mai means she spends most of her time hiding with weak reserves of cursed energy. 

She was created a year ago when Mai first signed up for the Jujutsu Academy in Kyoto, because of Mai’s desire to be more like Maki, plus the pressure she forced from her clan to become a jujutsu sorcerer now that Mai was one. 

I have specific worldbuilding lore about how she was created but that’s in another fic. All of my JJK fics exist in generally the same continuity and sometimes they reference each other by having ocs from other fics show up. If you’re curious about that it’s called “Exponential Growth”. 

For your last question, basically I can only work on one fanfic project at a time otherwise my brain breaks. ANd when I start one I work on it until completion. The fic I’m writing on right now is a teen titans fanfic called “Things Fall Apart”, basically I’m 5/6ths of the way done with the first draft, and once I was finished with the entire first draft of the story I was going back to write the epilogue. 

I have two fics planned for the sequel, the first is a YutaMaki fic where they go to Hakari’s fighting arena on a mission, the second is a rewrite of the Zenin Family Massacre arc where Mai doesn’t die. 

[hellzyeahthewebwieldingavenger]

Spider-Man v3 2099 #23-25 Thoughts

Some mixed feelings.

 There was a lot of stuff I liked, and a fair amount I was disappointed by.

There was some art and dialogue production issues, which I think might’ve occurred because the series was wrapping up and whoever was in charge didn’t catch as they were prepping for whatever the next project was.

But more significantly, I honestly felt that there were several unanswered questions:

·         What was the big bad thing Miguel and Liz did that was talked about back in volume 2 #1?

·         What actually caused the Maestro’s version of 2099 to happen?

·         What caused that future to alter into the Sinister Six’s future?

·         What was up with those purple Mohawk mutant people from volume 3 #1 who obviously had something to do with Tempest but it’s never explained

·         How was Tempest’s mother involved with the Fist

·         Shit there wasn’t any resolution for Tempest’s mother at all was there!

·         What exactly did Tyler Stone plan to use Tempest for? Was he really just tempting her to take his treatment so she’d stab Miguel on sight?

·         Why should Sonny Frisco be left in the present day? He’s from the future and has some future tech leftover from his Iron Man armour

·         What happened to the Sinister Six 2099? Electro is presumably shut down for good but what happened to Venom, Vulture, Doc Ock and Sandwoman? Yeah presumably they’re all going to team up in 2019, but Sandwoman was nowhere to be found and IIRC she wasn’t dead. Moreover they were still around in 2019 under the employ of the Fist.

·         How did Tyler Stone travel to the past?

·         How did Tyler Stone join up with the Fist?

·         How did Tyler Stone rise to what seemed like the leadership of the Fist

·         What happened to Venture and Glorianna?

·         What happened with Miguel’s fellow time traveller who created the new version of X-Factor? Was that really just very loose and light set up for Secret Wars 2099?

·         The payoff for the Alchemax prison facility which was then turned into a terrorist internment facility was...just the place for the final showdown to occur? Really?

Why DID the cure for Tempest’s cancer turn her into an insect monster back in Vol. 2?

Also, not really an unanswered question but the emotional investment into Miguel and Tempest’s relationship is still rather hollow as I talked about back in issue #20. It just kind of feels significant because Tempest has been around since waaaaay back in the backup story from ASM volume 3 #1. Not to mention Miguel’s survival is definitely a dues ex machina.

The harsh truth is the more I think about the resolution of this the more I come to the sad realizing it at best left an awful lot to be desired.

Objectively it’s very problem riddled.

Now that being said...on a pure enjoyment level I did LIKE it.

I don’t think I ever expressed this before, but the reason I started calling posts like this ‘Thoughts’ rather than ‘Review(s)’ like I used to is because, whilst I firmly believe a story can be objectively evaluated, I found it stressful and well...not fun doing it.

Plus I do this blog for me and realized posts like this one are more for me, so I have a record of my thoughts and feelings for these stories.

I’m not saying me liking something or disliking it makes it good or bad objectively. But what I am saying is...well I enjoyed this.

I was disheartened by the lack of pay off to a lot of stuff, but I did enjoy the ride while I was on it.

Let me talk about a few minor things that annoyed me before I end more positively.

So a Pokemon Go parody is intrinsic to the battle to save the future. I dunno, that just feels both on the nose and unearned since Pokemon Go! wasn’t even a thing when this series began. Also Tyler Stone’s motivations were rather underwhelming and Miguel didn’t get enough of a showdown with him. Granted, I guess you could argue said showdown already happened in Secret Wars 2099. He same applies to the Sinister Six 2099, especially Venom given that he is Miguel’s brother from another mother. Furthermore the explanation for who Aisa is, was a tad underwhelming but not illogical as I’ll address later.

Now for positives.

For starters it’s funny that whilst this issue came out in like September 2017, it’s depiction of 2019 wasn’t that far off. The only things it a little wrong was that people aren’t as much into Pokemon Go! as they were in 2017 and Silk to my knowledge doesn’t operate in New York city anymore. But all of those are easily No. Prized so in theory this comic’s depiction of 2019 is actually canon. I think it basically HAS to be or else the Fist’s plan could still happen and Miguel would’ve prevented nothing. Although the Marvel.wiki says otherwise. But they aren’t always right.

My biggest point of praise is in regarding Gabri.

Maybe I was being dense, but I honestly didn’t figure out who he was until he stabbed Tyler Stone with a stinger like Tempest’s.

See, when these issues were coming out I obviously saw the covers of Miguel in his new suit alongside another Spider-Man 2099, one wearing the original red and blue 2099 costume. But I wasn’t paying enough attention to notice the red and blue costume was similar, yet clearly different to the original. I was thinking that it was simply Miguel from another universe, another timeline or another point in time, possibly playing off of the Edge of Spider-Verse issue with the alternate Miguels back in volume 2 issue #5.

But no...this is the son of Miguel O’Hara, the Spider-Man of...well we don’t actually know what year he is from. He’s a time traveller and whilst he’s partnered up with his mother in 2019, he looks to be about Miguel’s age. Giving him a suit similar yet unique to his father’s, with his ‘cape’ evoking his mother’s wings and such was a nice touch. I think PAD in making him a time traveller adds just enough credibility to his powers too as some kind of future technology. I doubt we’ll see much more of this character, but damn I’d like to, even out of his outfit he seems pretty cool.

And if nothing else, I just like that Miguel has a legacy and got to KNOW that.

Another thing I really liked about the structure of the story essentially allowed for there to be two climaxes, one in the future of 2019 where Aisa was the final boss and one in the present of 2017 where Miguel got to settle his business.

Let’s talk briefly about Aisa. So she’s literally one of the Greek Fates. I found this underwhelming, but I can’t say it wasn’t a logical reveal. In fact it justifies the Medea story arc with Elektra as that in hindsight was putting Greek myth on the chessboard for PAD to use later.

In fact these last three issues can be looked at as PAD essentially treating elements across his 2010s Spidey 2099 run (or at least the issues that weren’t mandated events) as chess pieces that came into play here.

·         Back in volume 3 issue #1, Miguel referenced Peter, Silk and Miles being around to pick up his slack. Those 3 saved the civilians under mind control.

·         The Sinister Six and Tyler Stone obviously all showed up in the Sinister Six arc beginning in issue #10, and in particular Tyler was popping up sporadically since the Secret Wars mini

·         Strange 2099 with the help of Cap 2099 ultimately save Miguel’s life and they were showing up before and during Secret Wars

·         Tempest’s insect form was introduced back in v2 #11-12 and was critical to the climax of this story. In fact I love the poetry of Miguel and his father Tyler both dying via stingers, stingers passed down from mother to son no less

·         Sonny obviously was showing up on and off since Secret Wars

·         The Alchemax Prison is something that’s been lingering (and unfortunately was often ignored) since way back in v2 #5

·         I already explained the Greek myth angle

·         Man Mountain Marko has been building a grudge with Spidey since before issue v3 #10

In a sense it was rewarding seeing all this stuff come back into play for the climax, but it definitely could’ve been done better, in a more satisfying way. Frankly, if the Medea story had been cut to 2 issues tops we might’ve had an extra issue to fix some of this stuff.

The final thing I want to talk about is issue #25 specifically. I don’t know if this was intentional, but to me issue #25 read as PAD delivering a microcosm of Miguel.

In various scenes, organically strung together, we see different facets of his personality. The dives are not necessarily deep, but this one issue, for any faults you might find in it’s plot, speaks a lot to who Miguel O’Hara is as a person.

It’s light, it’s subtle but it tells you the cliffnotes.

He’s sarcastic.

He’s sardonic.

He’s not a murderer, but is willing to be violent, willing to kill.

He is on the side of the angels, but is absolutely not one of them.

He values family but they frustrate him.

He’s far from wholesome.

He’s willing to make the sacrifice play for what’s right, for what has to be done.

He faces his own destruction head on.

He has a cynical streak in him.

He’s got anger in him and acknowledges it can compromise him.

He’s smart, both in terms of scientific brilliance and tactical thinking.

Hell even the use of his powers and gadgets (we could include Lyla in that) get one last ride in this issue.

And it’s all capped off with him saving everyone at the cost of his lover, his child and his own life. Only for him to come back to the world he’s saved, his home and ring in the new yea, the new century in factr. 2099 is OVER at last!

But he doesn’t celebrate. But he also isn’t Peter Parker, so he doesn’t somberely mope. He just gets on with it acknowledging what he’s lost, what it was for and rolling his eyes at the fact that the good times aren’t going to last.

And yet...it’s not depressing.

THAT’S Miguel O’Hara to me.

Over all, this arc 100% could’ve been better. But as a fond farewell to the character, possibly even being the last time his creator will ever write him, it was a Hell of a ride.

And for that ride, I thank Peter David and Will Sliney.

[alexandrabracken]

A little bit more about the Special Edition short stories...

Hi guys! I hope your holidays were wonderful! I haven’t been around much, as I’ve been trying to figure out a social media strategy that helps me stay in touch with everyone but also preserves some balance in my life. Stepping away from social to work on TDL really helped my emotional and mental health, but I don’t want to disappear on you completely as I’ve always really loved chatting with you guys over here. You might hear from me a little less on Tumblr and Twitter especially, but I’ll still be checking in with updates and tidbits—like today! Since I’m no longer taking Asks and I don’t have as many opportunities to get into talking about the story behind the stories as I used to, I wanted to share a little bit more about the short stories in the special editions before they hit bookshelves on January 2nd. These are a bit spoiler-y as they get into what ideas or questions I wanted to focus on in each story, so you might want to come back and read this after reading the stories if you hate spoilers. Or, maybe they’ll help you decide if you want to read them? In any case, putting them under a cut…

TDM/Cole + Liam: My mini playlist for Liam and Cole’s story is called “The Boys” which is how I think of this one in my mind. The story is designed to answer a few questions that I couldn’t truly get to in the series, at least not in a meaningful way. The biggest of those questions being why the dynamic between Liam, Cole, and Harry is so complicated, and why Cole and Harry had their falling out. I jokingly told my editor that there were some East of Eden vibes to this one, which maybe isn’t completely off. Another question I wanted to tackle was why Liam was SO anti-Children’s League in TDM/NF, even though you could argue that the organization operates in a morally gray area versus being all-out bad (at least as far as they know). It was really interesting to get to explore the League in its infancy and compare it to the more established, more disciplined League we see later. Liam and Cole kill me because they love each other so much but it’s like they operate on two different frequencies. I have a relationship like this in my life, and while sometimes it clicks and is wonderful, other times it allows for hurt feelings and misunderstandings. Liam and Harry have such similar dispositions, and Cole saw himself as the protector of their family from a young age, and his own secret—and fear of his family’s rejection—tears him up inside. You might remember that this story was originally centered on the Betty crew in the days leading up to when they crossed paths with Ruby; ultimately, this felt like a bigger emotional story and it gave me the opportunity to write a bit more about Cole. I think you’ll find a different Liam and Cole here than you’re used to—I would describe them both as being very raw.

NF/Vida: Vida’s story, in a way, serves as a parallel to an aspect of In Time. Specifically, the horrible choices that people are asked to make in times of great economic and social strife. The central question of In Time is “Why would someone ever become a skip tracer and hunt kids?” whereas here it’s “What circumstances would prompt one sister to turn her younger sister into the PSFs?”  Fear and desperation are two of the most powerful human emotions/motivations, and it can drive people to do things they might never be capable of otherwise. In fact, fear and desperation are THE two primary forces in TDM world, especially at the beginning of the IAAN crisis. I’d never written anything set during that first year where everything truly went to shit in American and people of all walks of life were suddenly without their kids, homes, money, and jobs. Just after the big collapse is suffering, hopelessness, boredom, and anger that has no place to go. With the exception of one person in this story, no one is wholly good or bad, they’re just messy humans surviving the only way(s) they know how. All of it was interesting to portray through the eyes of a twelve-year-old only at the edge of really understanding what’s happening in the world. One important thread in Vida’s story is way the world fails young women and girls—especially young WoC—asking more of them just to survive and often leaving them incredibly vulnerable. In this instance, leaving them vulnerable to the manipulations of predators presenting themselves as the only option for “safety,” and vulnerable to the self-serving ringleaders offering “stability” that come to fill the void left behind by the collapse of orderly systems. I started off this story as angry as Vida was about her sister in NF/ITA and ended up feeling sympathetic to Nadia, who, at sixteen, has had waaaaay more thrown at her by life than anyone ever should and hit a breaking point. Vida thinks she’s wise to the world, and in some ways she is… but her age and relative innocence at times prevents her from seeing what the rest of us can about why Nadia feels she has to make certain hard, awful choices in an attempt stabilize their impossible situation. I’m a lot less certain than Vida is about what actually happened, and I’m curious to hear where you guys land on that front.

ITA/Clancy: As for Clancy’s story… the first thing I want to stress is that this is in no way a redemption story, because, let’s face it, Clancy doesn’t want to be redeemed—Clancy wants revenge. He wants to fill that bottomless hole that exists in his soul, without ever stopping to examine the reasons that hole is there and how he might do the work of mending it. It’s not even a justification for why he does what he does throughout the series; there’s no justification for most of it. I don’t want to tell you more about the plot itself because it spoils the story’s framework, which I hope will surprise you. To be a little vague, if Liam’s story is centered on love, and Vida’s on fear, Clancy’s is really a story about anger. How poisonous it is, how it festers and builds over time, and how there’s no easy end to it. Throughout the series, Clancy’s primary goal is revenge against his father, and this story goes deeper into the why behind that and gives you a little more about President Gray himself. While I do believe our pasts play a part in shaping us—especially how we relate to others—the choices that we make every day are ultimately what define us. One of my favorite things about the original trilogy is how Ruby and Clancy foil each other. They both have tragedy and suffering in their past, they both have every reason to be angry, but Ruby chooses to use her powers one way, and Clancy chooses to use his in a very different way, and that ultimately sets them on two very different paths. Interestingly (to me at least!), this was the one short story I was thinking about the most while working on The Darkest Legacy. There ended up being an unexpected parallel in Zu and Clancy’s stories…

[productiveporcupine]

3.18.2017

March Study Challenge - favorite productivity apps

Hey guys! For this day of the challenge I’m going to share with you all the best apps I’ve found for being productive! This will include productivity apps and apps I use for school. To be honest, I think that a lot of times people get caught up in looking for productivity apps as a way to procrastinate (myself included), so just be sure that you actually need these, and you aren’t just trying to put off working too much. ^w^

🎀 Tide: this is a gorgeous pomodoro timer app that allows you to listen to various ambient soundtracks while you work. It also has a feature that will cancel the timer if you exit the app, and there is no pause button, so it can be somewhat like the forest timer. (I usually don’t use this mode, because I don’t like not having a pause button, but it could be nice in certain situations). You can also adjust the length of the sessions, which is great! I love using this app when I can’t seem to focus, as it helps me ease into working.

🎀 Brainscape: this is a flashcard app that syncs with the online website Brainscape. I paid for the full version of Brainscape ($80 one-time payment) because I honestly love it that much more than other flaschard apps. I tried Quizlet, but I didn’t like that it wasn’t SRS, and I tried Anki, but it just didn’t work for me. I love the confidence-based SRS system that Brainscape is built on, and it helps me memorize things easily. I mostly use it for math and science classes, though they also have pre-made decks on there you can download like Chinese, psychology, etc.

🎀 Desmos: I love Desmos more than my right hand. Sometimes I will be doing math homework in a place where I don’t have access to wi-fi, and I use Desmos to help me check my work and understand answers graphically. It is also a lot more intuitive than a regular graphing calculator, so it’s very easy to use! This app will save your life in math classes that have a lot of visualization going on, like trig or calculus.

🎀 Symbolab: Symbolab is an app where you put in a problem, and it solves it for you step-by-step. I don’t like looking up the answer to a problem, but sometimes if I’m really stuck I use Symbolab to see how I get the answer, and really understand the problem for the next time that topic comes up. For the phone app, you do have to pay a couple bucks to unlock the step-by-step feature, but I think it’s definitely worth it, and I’m very stingy with paying for apps. They also have a premium version, but I don’t think it’s necessary.

🎀 LitCharts: I use this app to look up books we will be reading in English class. Right now we are reading Agamemnon, so I use LitCharts to make sure I understand the major themes and characters, and I read the summaries after I get through a section to make sure I got all the major points of that section. I also really like the way LitCharts tracks themes, and I find it helps me learn the content much more thoroughly than some other literary websites.

🎀 Untime: This app is so cool honestly. It’s a timer that lights up rows of dots, and as time goes by the lights go out one by one. This helps me visualize how much time I have left, and to me that is a lot more meaningful that just saying “5 minutes left.”

🎀 Ambient Mixer: This is basically just an app for the website Ambient Mixer. I paid to unlock some extra features on here, but that’s not really necessary. (I swear I don’t pay a lot for apps, it’s just that all the apps I paid for happen to be on this list.) I mostly use this app when I’m reading and want to have a nice ambience, but don’t have access to my computer. I find matching the ambience to the setting of what I’m reading is nice too! For example, I listen to one that is a rainy day at Bag End when I’m reading The Hobbit!

🎀 Elevate: Elevate is a brain-training app that has fun mini-games to help get your brain in shape! I don’t use it as much as I should, but whenever I use it consistently I do notice a difference. I do not pay for the premium version, as I find that the free version works well enough for just waking my brain up here and there, especially in the mornings. :)

🎀 Quora: Ok, Quora is the best resource that no one talks about. It’s basically an online forum, but people really only ask actually good questions, and usually experts or experienced people answer. I also get answers to questions really quickly, so that’s very helpful. I  like to use this to try explaining topics I’m learning about to people who are struggling with them as practice (I also do this on Khan Academy sometimes). It’s hard to explain what exactly is different about Quora, but seriously check it out!

🎀 Science Daily: this is a science news app, not a productivity app, but because I want to go into a scientific field, I find that reading about current events in the field I’m interested in really motivates me. Definitely check it out if you’re aiming for a STEM field, or just want to know more about the world in general! It’s also one of the few apps I’ve found where you can read summaries of science articles for free.

🎀 Chiaki: ok ok, don’t judge, but it’s a timer with an anime girl on it. Sometimes when I really really have trouble getting it together, I find that having a video of a person or something similar makes me feel more accountable (someone needs to explain the psychology of that because it’s a bit weird, but I know I’m not the only one) and helps me get more done. I like Chiaki because it’s cute and simple, and isn’t one of those creepy anime apps (if you know what I mean), and it helps my studying seem more fun.

🎀 Aura: the last app is Aura. I’ve only been using it for a few weeks, but so far it is the best meditation app I’ve found. I absolutely suck at meditating without falling asleep or getting more tired, but the walk-throughs on this app really help me. I also like that is has a feature where you can pick what emotion you’re feeling, and the mediation will change to help you. A lot of meditation apps are waaaaay too expensive for me since I’m just a beginner, so I like that Aura offers enough features to be completely functional for free. It also has an emotion tracker and daily gratitude log, which I initially didn’t expect to help much, but they really do! Aura does have a paid version, but I would only recommend getting it if you are serious about meditation. The only downside to the free version is that you only get one full meditation per day, but you can still use “breaks” throughout the day, which are quite similar. Also, with the free version you only have 3 minute meditations, whereas with the full you can unlock 7 minute ones, but I find that 3 minutes is more than enough for me. ^w^

🎀 Basic apps: Spotify, Notebook, Gmail, Outlook, and YouTube.

I hope some of these apps help you guys, and let me know if there are any apps you think I should check out! I’m always open to finding out about new apps!

[cyanidekissesxoxo]

Personal connection to HFA paper... Call it the beginning of self-exploration?

I’m writing a personal connection paper to a study on High-Functioning Autism/Aspergers (which is a term I learned recently I guess is not as favored any more, but it’s been used - was the term I grew up with as far as other family members - and has identifiable traits that people not highly versed can identify with, so get over it.) I'd say do it.

My family is prone to HFA and ASD.. It has been suggested by family members over the years that I'm Asperger/HFA, but my dad & grandmother never pushed to test (my Dad is also most likely undiagnosed Aspergers/HFA), and I felt growing up that my aunt's coddlement of my cousin and his disabilities allowed him to use his disabilities as a sort of crutch through life, where he may have worked with them a little better otherwise, so I took the route of solidly denying any disability chance, and just told myself it was just personal shortcoming -- I needed to make extra effort to be organized, to be on task, etc.

In a way, I don't regret the path I took - I own and run a dog rescue at 26 that I did all the legal paperwork and filing on, I work 28 hours a week as a trainer, and people constantly compliment me on how motivated and put together I am... however, there's also major issues in my life that I'm working through and have led me to explore the ASDs a little more personally at this point:

- I have a horrible sense of organization. I gravitate towards the neatness of everything in places, boxes, etc.. but maintaining organization is horrible... in about a week, my car/room will go from spotless to like a homeless hurricane hit... I'm getting better about setting myself on a strict path of putting things back in their exact place as soon as I use them, and I do find myself thinking about it more, but still, I battle with chaos and disorder... paperwork seems to jumble itself, etc... Then I become stressed and non-functioning (or functioning out of necessity but not necessarily doing well), and this cycle repeats and repeats. As a child, I was a tornado too, but because there was no attempt to diagnose an illness (by 8th grade I was in IEP for being Emotionally Disturbed - a result of bringing part of my beloved knife collection to school which a friend used to cut herself after "borrowing" one, and I believe ADHD at that time as well, which I'll get into more late), so my messiness was seen as defiance, and punished.

- ADHD or HFA? & Substance abuse issues: In about 10th grade, I was put on Vyvanse for ADHD. I'd already been convinced to try meth by girls in the neighborhood I'd known since I was little, and it got out of control because the main benefit I saw was I WAS FINALLY GETTING THAT MATH HOMEWORK I WAS BEHIND ON DONE!!... well, Vyvanse made me get schoolwork done too, but in a jittery, hyper-focused way that reminded me too much of methamphetamine, so I used it on and off for school for maybe a school year, but it did not answer my problems long term, and was not enjoyable. If HFA is a contributer for these issues, it is possible that being diagnosed properly and treated in a different way would not have more beneficial effect than Vyvanse, and it's also possible that with proper support and help, I may not have chose/continued to use meth to try to catch up on math, because I could have had plans in place in school, and better management at home, to not get as behind as I did in the first place.

- (Un)Comfortable Conversation/Specialized Interests: Between the fallout from separating from a group of drug related people from above, conflict with my family from childhood on (my grandmother thought I was insolent and "taunting" her when I would SHRIEK in fear as a child of punishment, among other conflicts), and never really fitting in at school from a young age, and losing friends rapidly and telling my grandmother at home, who would wonder out loud, "How do you go through friends so fast? Are you doing something? Picking wrong friends?"... so from 3rd grade on, the self-belief that I was difficult to make friends with, I was different, and that my friendships weren't that strong because I couldn't relate to them in similar ways began to grow & got stronger over the years, and now as an adult, I go into almost panic attacks about new social situations sometimes, and it takes me a LONG time to trust, get close to new people, and they often consider me a friend before I've reached that comfort zone... not because I'm antisocial -- I can remember one of my earliest childhood grievances being: "I just want to be everyone's friend! I want everyone to like me!!!", but because I'm terrified, awkward, feel like a burden or sore thumb sometimes, and feel that I either talk waaaaay too much, or I can't make small talk like normal people do (what do you say? "Hey, so, beautiful weather we're having today!" sounds staged. Even if it didn't, what do I say after that? How do I keep the conversation going??!)...

Social Impact: If I had been diagnosed with HFA as a child by a medical professional (assuming I am), I could have possibly had action plans, exercises in developing social skills, being interested in a wider set of topics people want to talk about, not being SO excited to predict what someone's going to say and finishing their sentence, or slowly down with my eagerness to reply once I get talking. I could have grown up with less of the belief that it was something I was doing, that I pushed people away after a while or that I wasn't as good as their other friends --- in actuality, I had a lot of problem behavior as a child as you can see, and I gravitated to problem people throughout my life (in grade school, I have no answer for, other than moving from very diverse Anaheim to Temecula which was still pretty small, I was a culture shock in addition to all my oddities... but in the end of middle school up through high school, I hung out with kids who drank, smoked, and honestly burned through other people too, so this is a partial answer... but again, what behavioral and environmental aspects may have caused me to gravitate towards that type?..)

Adult impact: My biggest problem has come later in life. Throughout high school, I hung out with bad kids, like I said... I did great meeting new people, because I had a very comfortable approach of "Hi, I'm Mariah, let's get drunk and make bad decisions", and substance abuse was my crutch that allowed me to socialize, plus conversation is pretty easy and unjudged when everyone is drunk. However, turning 19 and getting away from those kind of people steadily til 23 left me realizing: I don't drink anymore.. NOW how do I talk to people?! This point was where I retreated a lot into the solace of my dogs, as I've done throughout my childhood, and the training/dog rescue/veterinary school aspiration began to take place. I am now 26 with all of this great stuff going on, but A) dogs are now my comfort zone. I'll talk your ear off about that with no social anxiety. If we're not talking about dogs, I'm still probably really uncomfortable and unable to casually maintain conversation as well. B) Dog rescue & training has become my therapy from my social awkwardnesses, and I push myself HARD to achieve for a continuous sense of self-satisfaction (which is generally pretty short-lived on my end: off to the next mountain to climb! And the next!)... I am now stressed, irritable, and experience panic attacks probably once a week. But also, because there is not much of a social group (I have accumulated a small but very important, intellectual, successful group, many who are working through very similar issues with themselves aside from organization), I have more time to overwork myself, when other people are out going to movies, doing random things, etc... So if I had more focus on developing and maintaining social confidence, that is possibly less grief I could have gone through.

For my family, and if I get the diagnosis when I see a medical provider, HFA is not a horrible diagnosis (I know I'm talking about all the negatives above) -- my family is phenomenally more intellectual than anyone I know, the creativity abounds in individual ways, and the original ideas and approaches to things that I have amaze people -- I've always just thought of things in different terms and solutions than other people, and was surprised when they commented on it --- "Why WOULDN'T you think of that?!"...

I think my fear of the stigma and label was the worst thing. "What if people don't like me? What if they think I'm crazy or stupid?"... well. A lot of people DIDN'T like me anyway, some without ever meeting me... that's not going to change, and it happens to typically developed people as well. I feel that instead, people disliked me anyway, but I ended up internalizing that and then being uncomfortable with myself, or not liking myself. Some people still think I'm stupid with or without a label, but talking to me, reading my writing, or looking at my test scores would disprove that in a second... And to keep a clean, put-together appearance over the years so people wouldn't think I was crazy... well, that turned into me instead wondering if I was crazy.

It's totally possible that I don't have any ASD, and that my issues are personal or from other places (childhood abuse, etc), I haven't been diagnosed or not officially yet - this group is the beginning of my exploration and path to being tested... but even if I'm not, if I had been tested, I wouldn't be here wondering.

I think finding out is your best option. No, your child doesn't? Well, then on with life as usual! But if they do, I genuinely feel the diagnosis and proper management, counseling, and building as an adult will help your child love themselves more, enjoy more out of life, and prepare better to be an adult.

Good luck!

[dachi-chan25]

January 2020 Wrap Up

I got back on track this month. Sadly this was not a good reading month, I didn't like or was pretty meh about a lot of this books so I did a massive unhaul this month to ensure I'll read books I am intrested in and want to read.

1.- Shadow Scale (Seraphina #2) - Rachel Hartman

🌟🌟🌟

I was so disappointed! I loved the 1st book so much, it had an amazing intresting world and politics but that got thrown out of the window in this one, the characters seem to even forget their relationships with each other and the villian is just badly constructed, the ending feels rushed and unsatisfactory, I just gave it 3 stars cuz i couldn't bear to give less stars to a world and characters I actually like.

2.- Heroes -Stephen Fry

🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟

I always love to re-read greek myths, and Stephen Fry makes really funny commentary and narrative decisions when it comes to his adaptations. It was a very enjoyable read.

3.- Love from A to Z - S.K Ali

🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟

I don't read much romance cuz a LOT of romance authors construct relationships I am not intrested in, but THIS. It was amazing, the way both characters saw the world was beautiful, all that pride for Muslim culture and the fight against islamophobia felt actual and relevant, I really liked both characters, and the way their relationship develops felt fitting to their personalities and ages and that is something that is so rare to find. I really recc this one.

4.- Once Upon a Burning Throne - Ashok K. Banker

🌟🌟🌟

So I really liked the beginning of the book, it had a super intresting premise and intresting characters along with high political stakes, but the conflict you get presented at the beginning never get a pay off, and it goes around many characters and plots that made me a bit confused so idk the ending was strong and I know it's a series but I don't think I am intrested in reading the rest cuz this one was pretty confusing for me.

5.- All the Crooked Saints - Maggie Stiefvater

🌟🌟

Sadly I think Maggie Stiefvater is not the author for me, I tried to get into Raven Boys but didn't liked it. I find her writing and characters to be a bit superficial, very aesthetic and quirky but ultimately completley one dimensional, the metaphors she uses make no sense, I do like when an author spices things up with the flow of their sentences and the words the use but Maggie Stiefvater's prose it's just too much for me.

6.- The Girl who Played with Fire (Millenium #2) - Stieg Larsson

🌟🌟🌟🌟

This is my first re-read of this book. I really liked this series when I 1st read them, but I found some stupid stuff that made me roll my eyes so hard cuz male authors writing woman sometimes lead to cringey stuff. Lisbeth Salander has always been one of my favorite characters, but she is very different in this book, I love the fact we get to see more of her past, that she has vulnerability but also she is so heavily coded as masculine that it exasperates me also LOL about every woman wanting to fuck Mikael, I have some amazing memories of this series (the 1st one is superior in every aspect imho) and I still love them but yeah I was a much different person and I like to critizise even the things that I like.

7.- North and South - Elizabeth Gaskell

🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟

I just love this book so much, the intricacies of industry and of the fair treatment of the workers, the differences of a life in a City vs life on the countryside in the middle of the Industrial Revolution. This book is so intelligent and layered. The characters are well defined and they develop so well. The romance!!! I just love it.

8.- Paper Tigers - Damien Angelica Walters

🌟🌟🌟

I was loving this book at the beginning, such an intresting concept, to have a possesed photo álbum, and to have a disabled protagonist dealing with her appereance and going out again it was hard hitting, I know this is horror but the ending broke my heart, it made me feel hopless and sad especially when the protagonist had already developed SO much it didn't felt like a victory even when the book tries to present it in that way.

9.- Morning Star (Red Rising #3) - Pierce Brown

🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟

Favorite read of the month!!! This book was a rollercoaster, it had me at the edge of my seat all the time, I love the Red Rising series and this book its a perfect conclusion for this amazing story (I know there are still 2 books but idk if Darrow is the main character on those cuz his story and arc could very well end in this book) it was so satisfying and hopeful. This is what an ending should be.

10.- Black House (The Talisman #2) -Stephen King/ Peter Straub

🌟🌟🌟

I was so excited about reading this one because I loved the Talisman so much, but this book was HARD to get through. It needed some serious editing. Like it didn't feel like a sequel for the first 100 pages or so cuz we don't get to see Jake up until that point, and there is waaaaay to much unnecesary exposition that took away from the suspenseful stuff, also it was kinda repetitive and that annoyed me. Gosh I know lots of people say this particular era on SK writing career was bad, and they not lying, I just can't connect like I did before (though I know it gets better cuz his recent books are good)

11.- China's Rich Girlfriend (Crazy Rich Asians #2) - Kevin Kwan

🌟🌟🌟

I mean it was ok, like some things get resolved, so plot wise we do get a development and I dare say some characters do develop. Tbh I don't take these too seriously they are just outrageous and dramatic, I have fun reading them and I am wondering how some of the plots will translate into the movie .

12.- The Revisioners - Margaret Wilkerson Sexton

🌟🌟🌟🌟

Magical Realism is my jam, I really enjoyed this one, though the ending was kinda meh and I feel the magical aspect could have been given more significance. The story was beautiful and impactful.

13.- Scarlett (Lunar Chronicles #2) Marissa Meyer

🌟🌟

I did find this book more enjoyable than Cinder, and the concept of fairytales in space seems wonderful to me, but I just think they are too juvenile for me, like i know if I had read them when I was younger I would have loved them but now I just go my my through the book hoping for more complexity and so I decided not to read them anymore cuz it's not fair for me to judge books that are definitely not directed towards me.

14.- Dark Reunion (Vampire Diaries #4) - L.J Smith

🌟🌟🌟

I am reading these cuz I wanted to know just how different they were from the TV series (the answer is VERY) and they are really enjoyable, they have this dark atmospheric tone but are still super campy and cliché but not so much that it's unbearable, idk I just really like to read them and they are so short it's super motivating knowing I can just relax reading one of these.

15- Vengeful (Villians #2) - V. E Schwab

🌟🌟🌟🌟

I just love the characters and the world so much!!!!! I need more books of this universe cuz it really gives for so much more.

16.- Puddin' (Dumplin' #2) - Julie Murphy

🌟🌟🌟 🌟

These books are so cute. Honestly no shade to Willowdean but I liked this book much more than the 1st and I loved that we had Millie and Callie as protagonists, their friendship was great and I just really liked this book so much I hope it gets a movie too.

17.- Suspicious Minds - Gwenda Bond

🌟🌟

I liked some stuff but honestly I couldn't help but think of a book that have a similar concept but it's way better (Firestarter) and I guess that's what happens when you rely on a concept that has already been succesful. Like it's pretty clear this was written to get money out of Stranger Things fans and that doesn't sit to well with me,

[jenmedsbookreviews]

Views at Attingham Park

So last week I had a bit of a mini melt-down when it came to reading. Couldn’t get my head in the zone at all. I put it down to being more than a little bit tired (which I still am) but at least I have had a long weekend to pretend to get over it. I say pretend because in reality I’ve tried to be very active this weekend with a nive three mile walk in the deer/cow park on Saturday and then a mere seven miles or so up and over the Long Mynd on Sunday.

Cardingmill Valley In Shropshire

Now the canny (and local) will spot that the big loop walk around Cardingmill Valley is actually only a little over five miles, the rest of you will probably neither know nor care. However, Mandie and I took a slight detour while on our walk as we spotted a sign at the edge of a footpath which holds a key link to our ancestry and decided to go and take a little look.

Medlicott is a very (very) small hamlet in Shropshire, set back in the shadows of the Long Mynd, and part of the reason that Jen Med’s is Jen Med’s and not Jen Luc’s. Medlicott is a family name, my Nan’s maiden name in fact, and our ancestry can be traced right back to when the little village got its name way back in 1100 and something, when old Llewelyn de Medlicott (or Modlicott) was awarded the land by some King of some variety for doing something loyal to the crown-ish.

A wild horse on the Long Mynd

I do actually have all of the details, courtesy of one my Great Uncles who researched the family tree many moons ago. He was able to race our lines all the way back from my Nan’s family circa 1900, through to the 1100’s, but this is a book blog not ancestry.com so I’ll spare you. Still pretty impressive though and Mandie and I were thrilled to see the signpost. Unbelieveably, after forty years living in the county, this was actually our first time atop the Long Mynd so the first time we had ever been this close to Medlicott. We didn’t quite have time to make the walk this weekend, but we will go back sometime soon and make the trip all the way down the hill to take a look at what was once family land. We’ll probably try and pop over to Wentnor Church too which is the final resting place of many of our family from years ago. I know – pretty cool right?

View at Pole Bank – the highest point on the Long Mynd

The biggest problem with walking up a very big hill is that at some point you have to walk back down it. Now it’s not the exercise that does me in – I can handle that. But I should probably explain that if there is one thing in this world that I am truly scared of, it is heights. Like all phobias, mine is severly irrational in how it presents itself. I don’t have the slightest problem with being high up, standing on top of a hill and looking out over a valley. I don’t have a problem making the craggy climb up the nice wide path to begin with. I do, however,  have the slightly less irrational fear of plummeting to my death, which is why I don’t like sanding on high bridges all that much, especially bouncy ones, can’t always walk to the edge of barriers, no matter how safe they are and can only go outside at the Empire State Building if I go out the North Manhattan side as South is far too windy and I am worried about being blown over the impossible to be blown over barriers that surround the viewing floor. Yes – I know. Irrational…

Now while the climb up Cardingmill Valley, if you go a certain way, is occasionally steep, with absolutely breathtaking (literal and metaphorical) views, it is also a nice wide path. What Mandie and I didn’t know is that the path down the other side, past Townbrook Hollow, is equally as steep but a lot less wide. And there are sections that you have to climb over really craggy bits of rock and round tree roots which doesn’t sound too bad – unless you have a crippling paranoia about plummeting to your death. With legs like jelly, I mostly walked, occasionally inched down on my arse, but ultimately tackled the impossible (for me) and made it to the bottom. Totally glad I did it but by god it was a long way. Very few people die on this route (to my knowledge) and I know the worst that could have happened was I ended up sliding down a fairly high hill a little way, but I still hated it. So, with a near constant soundtrack of ‘I’m going to die’, ‘I hate this’, ‘I can’t see round the corner – I hate this – I’m going to die’, ‘I can’t do this’ and ‘Stupid, stupid, stupid hill’, we made it down this from top to bottom (see path on the right)

From top…                                                               to bottom

along a path which was only occasionally as generous as this

but which was mostly steep bank or rock to the left and steep bank or drop to the right.

On the plus side, all of my protestations kept Mandie’s mind off the fact that she too hates heights, although she did on occasion nearly fall off the path from laughing at me so much.

We’ll be heading back again soon. The views were amazing.

The Wrekin and the sheep shelf

None of this was remotely bookish but it was a nice distraction on a sunny Bank Holiday weekend. All of this walking seems to have had an impact on my reading too as I’ve been way more productive. Waaaaay  more productive. Like a 250% increase in output. Yes folks – i read 3.5 books. Much more respectable than last weeks 1.5 i think.

Oooh. I lie. I actually read an apocalyptic type of book set largely in South Shropshire, only a stone’s throw from Cardingmill Valley so it was a bookish retreat after all. And we could see Stiperstones from the top which features in Mark Edwards’ The Lucky Ones so most definitely bookish. And yet, despite my assertions about my impending death, no apocalypse had occured by the time we left, which was a touch disappointing to be fair as it took ages to get out of the car park…

I got a little bit of book post this week. Three little bits in fact. One was my purchase of a signed copy of Yesterday by Felicia Yap from Goldsboro Books. I also got a copy of Payback by Kimberley Chambers from Harper Collins for helping out on a Readers Room survey and Nothing Stays Buried by PJ Tracy from Penguin Random House as I’m on the blog tour next week. I also received a lovely e-arc in the shape of Dead Lands by Lloyd Otis which again I’m on the blog tour for in October.

Purchase wise I have been very well behaved, mainly because I had already been pre-order crazy. I pre-ordered a copies of Silent Lies the forthcoming release from Kathryn Croft, The Secret Mother by Shalini Boland and All The Little Children by Jo Furniss.

You’re impressed with my restraint aren’t you? I can tell. As I’ve read three of these books already, it’s barely an increase in my tbr at all really …

Books I have read

Untainted Blood by Liz Mistry

An unmissable new crime thriller

In a city that is already volatile, tensions mount  after a Tory MP in Bradford Central is discredited leaving the door open for the extreme right-wing candidate, Graeme Weston, to stand in the resultant by-election. 

However, Graeme Weston is not what he appears to be and with secrets jeopardising his political career, he must tread very carefully.

Meanwhile, a serial killer targets Asian men who lead alternatives lifestyles and delivers his own form of torture. 

As DI Gus McGuire’s team close in, the deranged killer begins to unravel and in an unexpected twist the stakes are raised for Gus.

Are the murders linked to the political scandals or is there another motive behind them? 

DI Gus McGuire and his team are back and this might be their toughest case yet.

I’ll be sharing my review on this book later in the week. It’s the one I started during my London break last weekend but didn’t quite finish. Remedied that this week and very happy I am too. A great story set against a backdrop of racism and intolerance. YOu can buy a copy for yourselves here.

…

Nothing Stays Buried by P.J. Tracy

Nothing Stays Buried is the eighth book in P.J. Tracy’s addictive and internationally bestselling Monkeewrench series

There’s a search for a missing girl, and another for a serial killer: death holds all the cards . . .

When Marla Gustafson vanishes on her way to her father’s farm, her car left empty on the side of an isolated country road, even Grace MacBride and her eccentric team of analysts are baffled.

Meanwhile in Minneapolis, homicide detectives Gino and Magozzi have a serial killer on their hands – two women murdered in cruelly similar fashion, with playing cards left on the bodies. But one card is an ace, the other is a four – it seems the killer is already two murders ahead.

With both teams stumped, it slowly becomes clear the evidence is inexplicably entangled. And they have little time to unravel the threads: a twisted killer is intent on playing out the deck…

This was my first taste of the Monkeewrench team but it won’t be my last. Sadly one of the people behind the mother daughter writing team passed away, but her daughter has committed to carry on writing and I’ll be looking forward to reading more, as well as going back to read the first seven books when time allows. In this instalment cases surrounding drugs, serial killers and a missing woman all collide while the Monkeewrench team come face to face with their deadliest ever foe – Mother Mature. You can get a copy of the book here.

…

All The Little Children by Jo Furniss

When a family camping trip takes a dark turn, how far will one mother go to keep her family safe?

Struggling with working-mother guilt, Marlene Greene hopes a camping trip in the forest will provide quality time with her three young children—until they see fires in the distance, columns of smoke distorting the sweeping view. Overnight, all communication with the outside world is lost.

Knowing something terrible has happened, Marlene suspects that the isolation of the remote campsite is all that’s protecting her family. But the arrival of a lost boy reveals they are not alone in the woods, and as the unfolding disaster ravages the land, more youngsters seek refuge under her wing. The lives of her own children aren’t the only ones at stake.

When their sanctuary is threatened, Marlene faces the mother of all dilemmas: Should she save her own kids or try to save them all?

Now this is a book I’ve actually had sat on my kindle for a while after the author contacted me in regard to the round the UK challenge I started at the beginning of the year. Being set in my home county I couldn’t resist and from the very beginning I was pulled straight into this apocalyptic mystery. It held me from first page to last and I powered through in just a few hours. This and Monkeewrench totally helped me find my reading mojo again. You can bag yourself a copy here and find out why.

…

The Girl Who Came Back by Kerry Wilkinson

Thirteen years ago Olivia Adams went missing. Now she’s back… or is she?

When six-year-old Olivia Adams disappeared from her back garden, the small community of Stoneridge was thrown into turmoil.  How could a child vanish in the middle of a cosy English village?

Thirteen years on and Olivia is back. Her mother is convinced it’s her but not everyone is sure. If this is the missing girl, then where has she been – and what happened to her on that sunny afternoon?

If she’s an imposter, then who would be bold enough to try to fool a child’s own mother – and why? Then there are those who would rather Olivia stayed missing. The past is the past and some secrets must remain buried. 

An absorbing and gripping psychological thriller that will have you holding your breath until the final page.

Another read for a blog tour, you’ll have to wait just over a week for this review. I thoroughly enjoyed this mystery and trying to piece together what really happened to Olivia when she went missing all those years ago. You can pre-order a copy of the book here.

…

Three and a half books. I feel like I’m back. Which is just as well as I need to read three books a week between now and mid November to hit my reading targets and be ready for the Christmas feature throughout the month. No pressure…

Blog wise another full on week. I’ve had some booklove, some reviews and even a cover reveal.

#BlogTour: The Ashes of Berlin by Luke McCallin

#Review: 99 Red Balloons by Elisabeth Carpenter

#BookLove: Mike Sahno

#CoverReveal: Shalini Boland & Bookouture

Review: All The Wicked Girls by Chris Whitaker

Reblog: #TheSister by Louise Jensen

Review: The Last Resort by Steph Broadribb

Review: Three Weeks Dead by Rebecca Bradley

#Booklove: CJ Harter

Review: The One by John Marrs

This coming week is another busy one. I’ve got blog tours galore this week, every other day, starting today with Witch Dust by Marilyn Messik. On Wednesday it’s my turn on the Nothing Stays Buried blog tour. Friday sees me sharing my thoughts on Untainted Blood and Sunday I finally get to set free my feelings on Richard Parker’s latest offering, Hide and Seek.

I’ll also be sharing a little more #booklove, this time with Claire Brown. Do hope you can join me.

Have a fabulous week of bookishness all

JL

Rewind, recap: Weekly update w/e 27/08/17 Views at Attingham Park So last week I had a bit of a mini melt-down when it came to reading.