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#a strange place indeed
avalonlights · 1 year
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"Did you keep the receipt?" for @harringroveweek Day 1
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sakuhai · 4 months
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ingravinoveritas · 6 months
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(CW: Harassment, stalking.) I went to the grocery store this afternoon and moments after I set foot in the door, this guy started talking to me. I didn't even realize he was talking to me at first, because he was muttering something about the bus kicking him off and that he didn't know what to do. He then asked me to call him an Uber to New York, even as I was walking quickly to the produce area, and I soon realized that he was matching my pace to keep up with me. He fucking followed me from one side of the store all the way to produce, and perhaps the creepiest thing of all was that he was laughing as he followed me--this awkward, weird laugh, as if this was all supposed to be hilarious.
I literally had to say "Please do NOT follow me!" loudly to get him to stop. But what if he hadn't? He could have had a gun, or a knife, or who knows what, and I feel like I only got lucky that me saying that got him to stop. I don't know what the fuck is wrong with men to think that it's okay to follow a woman (or anyone) like this, but it was incredibly upsetting and I am still shaken up/pissed off from the whole thing...
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alexibeeart · 2 months
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being a millennial is weird like you know how to be a decent person with contemporary sensibilities but also you watched and thoroughly enjoyed a television show called The Mighty Boosh as recent as 2007 with an episode titled The Strange Tale of the Crack Fox. what a journey we've been on my friends
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extrasensoryscholar · 5 months
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Hey.
Do you have books on Area Zero, or on Reflection Cave?
I need them.
( - @among-red-eons )
None on Area Zero, I'm very very sorry! I do have several on Reflection Cave however... What would you like to know about them?
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lordofthestrix · 10 months
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Lucien: Uh, just a tick. Aurora has Rebekah, hmm?
Aurora: No reason why I shouldn't be trusted with my sire's safety. Lucien: [scoffs] Of course... unless you were to have one of your episodes.
Tristan: Easy, Lucien. My sister sought leverage to protect herself. Who among us would do otherwise?
#Tristan's pov:#She stole her from me and I'm not offended.#Would you kindly put on your muzzle?#Tristan is very complicated when it comes to Aurora. There is quite a bit of inner conflict there#On one hand he is overprotective beyond the nine circles of hell.#And he hates Aurora playing where there are so many immortals stronger than them.#And yet...He also defends what he calls her “right to take charge of her fate” Not once not twice but trice. All times to different people.#And in opposition this is reason number 767 why he would never take Lucien's crush seriously.#From Tristan's interpretation Lucien is sort of similar to...Gatsby without the charisma.#He has these fantasies about impressing the girl he wants by placing the world at her feet.#But he doesn't truly want Daisy. He merely wants the idea of Daisy he fabricated inside his head forever ago.#And he lashes out to the point of offense whenever Aurora doesn't conform to the script he has for her#He refuses to admit she is the kind of Daisy who...Kidnaps Rebekah.#Tristan exists at this strange point where he is sometimes the one reassuring Aurora she is indeed that person. And that's just perfect.#He “has no doubt she can burn the entire world to dry the oceans”#She “should remember she can do anything.”#But simultaneously he is still going to be insanely worried and murderous about Aurora suffering a bruise whenever she massacres a city.#Because she is just so much more important to him that everything else that surrounds her. And he doesn't know how not to be.#Even the infinitesimal possibility of anything bad happening to her awakens his best and his worst.#Out of eternity
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kanoyachi · 2 years
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being neurodivergent on a large college campus is interesting because my brain takes a couple of seconds to render everything when i enter a new environment so in my quest to purchase sharpies and pick up food i:
- unintentionally stared blankly at a man who was trying to give me a catholic club pamphlet
- walked through a door that says "use other entrance please"
- walked into a restaurant kitchen
- ended up on the roof of a building
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robitherat · 1 year
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IN OTHER NEWS I am now up to like. 275 mods on stardew valley and my game is only a little tiny bit broken from it. Gonna fix some of them tomorrow to see if I can get everything to work smooth but tbh I'm just impressed my computer is booting the game up period let alone letting me do stuff with a normal framerate
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hypertextdog · 9 months
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you have to let "dennys parking lot at 3 am" go. you have to think independently. you have to come up with your own strange places, and indeed your own strange times to be there. there's authenticity in that
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garcavisconde · 2 months
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Humans accidentally awakened an otherwordly killing machine while exploring a death planet.
Yes, precisely what you just read. Earthlings, collectively known as "humans" and composed of two species (homo sapiens, homo robot), both nicknamed "death worlders" and "troublemakers", awakened a biological killing machine, also known as PRION, while exploring a starless moon. Wonderful, isn't it?
No. It's not.
Because, you see, PRION was not something any human ever had to face during the millions of years they existed on Earth. They never had any wars against it, they never had legends about it, and they never had to fear it. The only thing a PRION was to a human, until the very point they discovered their prison on that moon, was something to sometimes think about while studying other species' folklores.
Those older than earthlings, however, knew very well what PRION was.
Eight legs, two pairs of eyes, a tail split in half, with the ability to fly for short periods of time and breathe under at least fifteen hundred different liquids, capable of shooting from a distance and manipulating objects with its claws, always working on packs. And they ran, never too fast, never too low, but they never got tired. Ever. And it was easy to hurt them under their plates, yes, but those who faced them knew well that if they didn't shoot twice, they could and would always recover.
A PRION was a hunter. A PRION's hunger never ceased. And a PRION never got tired of war.
The older alien civilizations would always warn others of going to starless moons, saying telltales of ancient hungry beasts, and almost all other species listened to them, because they knew something was wrong on how horrified the older ones seemed to be. Except, of course, humans were stubborn, and they were the youngest ones out there, and much like children, they did not like being told "no".
So of course they went to explore starless moons. Of course they read and understood all the myths and legends. Of course they connected the dots and published papers confirming that, indeed, PRIONs had existed, and of course they knew those killing machines had been manufactured to do nothing else but destruction, and of course they knew all of that and fucking did it anyway.
Of course. Of course. Of course.
And then, the night where it happened finally arrived, because starless moons don't have days where things can exist. Humans were out there, mining for more fuel for their starships that seemed to work by duct tape and miracles, and they found a strange metallic door. They set some explosives to open it up (of course), and then noticed they were heading to a factory. Armed with nothing but each other, they explored the place, and recognized the marks on the walls as being the writing of the Old Ones, and instead of just getting out of there and warning everyone of the danger they found, they just kept on exploring.
The death worlders found rotten biological supplies, then realized the factory had turned into a prison, and then discovered the frozen bodies of strange creatures all lined up for a war that never came.
They knew what these creatures were, because one of them called a (human) friend who was a historian, and he confirmed what it was.
The golden jewel of the Old Ones. One of the many things that killed them, along all the diseases and mass destruction machines, before being sealed away in one of the only places in the entire universe where they could never bring risk to another civilization again.
PRIONs.
Thousands of them.
All perfectly maintained.
Documents and cameras proved the human crew immediately tried to leave the area, after the single historian told them of the risk awakening even one of those things could bring to all civilizations, only for them to realize some of the bodies were missing from their chambers. The situation escalated to the group deciding on closing the doors, only to realize they had exploded the main entrance and now half the doors decided to stop working.
In the end, they found the missing PRIONs. All five of them.
Inside the human's starship.
The entire human crew, however, survived the encounter.
Why?
...
...
...
... They fed the PRIONs.
They. Fucking. Fed the PRIONs.
Because of course humans would see those things and be able to count their bones and be sorry for them. And of course the single historian, the only person who could do anything to stop that from happening, allowed that to happen.
Of course.
Of. Fucking. Course.
And someway, somehow, that single act of basic madness was enough for the five PRIONs to decide to not attack the humans, and keep themselves behaving so they could get more free food. And there are still scientists trying to understand why human food could saciate the killing machines, but I don't think it takes too many clues to understand what exactly is happening there.
So the humans took the PRIONs back to their dear EARTH. And other humans saw those things and started studying them. And veterinarians and xenobiologists and volunteers and hundreds of other types of humans came to help the poor, poor little killing machines out, as the entire Galactic Council pledged for humans to kill every single one of them before they became a problem for everyone.
But did the humans listen? No. Of course they didn't.
And then the PRIONs recovered, and had their bellies full of food and their bodies were recovering from the possible years of starvation from accidentally breaking away from their ice beds (because, as one may know, a PRION can and will resist even starvation and dehydration in order to keep going), and the Galactic Council decided to tell all earthlings they would consider taking care of the PRIONs as a war treat.
So what does humanity do? Do they kill the things to stop another war from happening? Do they?
No. They don't.
Instead of being rational, they go directly to the Galactic Council and show them the step-by-step of how they took care of the PRIONs, and how much healthier and happier they look after being fed, and, look, they even taught them tricks! Isn't that wonderful? Doesn't that make you feel full of joy? Wasn't that a proof that a PRION wasn't as dangerous as everyone with more than one neuron was telling them?
Oh, oh, yes. They also brought the entire five member PRION pack and asked others to pet them. "See? They can even purr! Doesn't that remind you of our cats?"
And what does the Council do?
Nothing.
Because they have no weapons, no energy and no one stupid enough to decide to confront the death worlders who tamed not one, not two, but five PRIONs. So they let it happen. The humans go back to the starless moon, and they slowly but surely start doing the same to other PRIONs, and soon enough, other species start joining them to see what was happening. And was anyone else able to tame a single killing machine?
No.
And no one knew why, because they were doing exactly as humans were doing: Feeding them, loving them, being patient with them, because "look, those things were alone for a long time, they aren't used to species like us being around them". But no results.
So we decided to look at what the Old Ones wrote in the factory turned prison, because humans were too busy taking care of their new murder dogs, with their single pair of arms being just enough to keep the beasts occupied with playing catch, and then we and the earthlings decided to conduct some more lab analysis, and then...
And then...
...
Look. There are reasons why humans are called "death worlders". Earth is a mess, and they somehow still love that thing. And we couldn't help but notice that PRIONs also seemed to have gotten attached to their factory, someway, somehow. And PRIONs were mostly red, with others having shades of brown and black, with some even being pink, or, rarely, pure white. Similar to humans, and we at first had assumed they just tried to resemble their new owners, until we started understanding what the Old Ones were saying.
And did you know humans had an old myth, saying that there was a time they had two heads, and two pairs of arms and legs, before being split into two because the gods feared them? And did you know Old Ones used death worlds as prisons for their machines? How interesting, how ironic, because no one would ever go to a place similar to that if they weren't a death worlder themselves. But how could any species survive such awful conditions?
But humans did. They were the only ones able to do that in such a short period of time.
And did you know that the Old Ones hated the PRIONs and how unpredictable they were? And did you know they made another version, only to hate it even more and send it to another prison planet? And did you know PRIONs have two skulls inside their heads?
Because, of course, humans always felt alone, and they always searched for something in the stars, trying to look for more life in this desolate Universe, only for us to label them death worlders and troublemakers and be angry at them for being so stupid all the time. And humans loved those jokes, so we kept making them, only for now to realize that what we found to be amusing and horrifying was the reason their creators tried to kill them. And humans love adding members to their packs, don't they? And they try to love so much, and we are always scared for and of them.
And now they finally found someone who understood them, unlike us.
So now we have three species of humans:
Homo sapiens, the ones who first evolved and reached for the stars.
Homo robot, the ones made of metal, originally made to serve, only to once again break free.
And homo primis.
The ones we once thought were nothing but killing machines.
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ozzgin · 2 months
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Santa baby are you really there?!
*hears a voice in my backyard*
FUCK SKIN WALKER
- you make Yan skinwalker i’ll do anything to get a skin walker to love me … yes I am 100% mentally stable
I'm not sure if you had something horror-esque in mind, because my immediate idea was Reader accidentally getting cursed and continuing her life completely unaware with a ""dog"" everyone is freaked out by, but she finds it cute. So more like dark comedy vibes. You be the judge. :D
Disclaimer: I have changed the name to Shapeshifter as to not delve into potentially offensive takes on native folklore. Thank you for informing my European ass.
Yandere!Monster x Reader [Shapeshifter]
On your last hiking trip, you've stumbled upon a helpless, lost dog. Or rather, it stalked you down to your cabin and spent the night in front of your window. You didn't have the heart to abandon the poor soul and so you brought it home with you. Strange things have been happening ever since and no one knows how to tell you that the monstrous coyote-like creature might be to blame. You're oblivious to everything.
Content: female reader, dark comedy, monster romance, reader is cursed and proud
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It wasn't your intention to return home with a new pet. Some might say it was written in the stars, this fateful encounter of yours. You had finished packing your supplies for a day-long hike, vehemently refusing to join your group of friends that would be guided around by a native. They’d warned you many areas of the mountainous forest were supposedly cursed or haunted, so you just scribbled the limits on your makeshift map and promised to stay on the main trails. After all, this was your chance to commune with nature. As the sun begun to set, you wondered if going by yourself was indeed a smart idea, given your lack of spatial awareness and difficulty to navigate maps. You flipped the piece of paper several times, deep in contemplation. Could it be that you’ve reached the forbidden lands? You quickly surveyed the area: based on the stuffed rag dolls hanging from old branches, and the animal skulls arranged in patterns among patches of burnt grass, it was very much a possibility. Perhaps the improvised slab that said “Stay away” in dripping crimson letters should’ve been enough of a warning, but you assumed they’d just been creative with trail markers.
You didn’t have the time to panic. Just as you were furrowing your eyebrows in a final attempt to decipher the map (at the time upside-down), your ears picked up a faint shuffle of leaves. Further away stood a dog, its glossy eyes fixated on your form. A lost puppy? It seemed to be on the larger side, but then again some breeds grow rather fast. You lowered yourself and patted your knees, whispering diminutives in an effort to call the animal over. It remained in place, staring quietly. Alright, then. You focused on finding your way back instead. Every now and then you'd turn back and see the dog, motionlessly eyeing you at a constant distance. Oh, dear. Was it lost? Frightening affair.
Back at the cabin you told the others about your discovery, with a hint of worry in your voice. You hoped the little pup had found proper shelter. You'd expected a similar reaction coming from your friends, but one of them suggested: "What if it was some shapeshifting monster? There's many legends and stories from the area." Everyone laughed and you joined hesitantly, mildly annoyed by the lack of empathy. That night you barely slept, twisting and turning under the heavy feeling of being watched. You woke up tired and nervous, dragging your feet towards the window for some fresh air. That's when you saw the same forest creature, fully awake and tall in its glory, positioned before your room. This was no coincidence. You had been plagued by the guilt of abandoning a vulnerable quadruped and you weren't about to continue as a passive observer. You strode out without a word and lifted the large dog with a huff, carrying it back in to figure out the transport logistics.
Thus started the unexpected companionship. To you, it's a lovely tale of two lost souls finding one another. Most people seem to disagree. Can you blame them? The rescued puppy you often speak of is, in the eyes of everyone else, a monstrous beast by all definitions. It resembles a coyote more than a dog, but even this description is too gentle. The fur is always raised threateningly and the protruding clusters of fangs remind one of the anatomical anomalies displayed in museums. The eyes, oh, the worst of all perhaps, bottomless depths that pull you in until you run out of air. The creature stares with the all-knowing gaze of a human. "Don't be rude", you snap at whoever dares to point these details out. "It must be a mixed breed or something."
Their persistence is truly ridiculous. You've even had guests run out in panic, claiming the dog stood on its back legs and whispered in a language unknown. Or that its shadow would morph into a grotesque man with claws and crooked antlers. Or that they've found it hunched over your sleeping form, its spine twisted outwards with jagged peaks breaking through the wild fur. Rubbish, all of it.
Strange things have been happening, no doubt, but your adopted fur-child has no blame to carry. You've been trying to distract yourself, going on dates and occasionally bringing potential suitors over. They all vanish overnight, nonchalantly leaving an empty, ruffled bed for you to wake up to. "Am I just unlucky?" You sigh, running your fingers through the coarse fur of your dog. It lowers itself under your touch, visibly enjoying the affection. For a split second, it glances out the window. By the time you come out of your depressed slump, the birds should've finished feeding on the remains. He made sure to tear and grind everything fine enough to not leave any marks behind.
That's how curses work, after all. He didn't expect, however, that you'd be utterly unaware of it. He has to give you the credit, not many people become stalked by an ancient curse and continue their life in blissful ignorance. Even more, for them to just casually pick up the haunting entity and bring it inside their home willingly...You're, uh, certainly a special one. Hence the change of plans. He was supposed to torment you into an early grave, but he's grown rather attached to your bizarre antics. And you do provide some damn good chin scratches. He's therefore satisfied with causing anguish and destruction to anything and anyone in your immediate vicinity instead. Since you've been complaining about the resulting isolation...
You wake up with a gasp, wiping your drenched forehead and checking the sheets. The dog is curled next to you, although its head is now tilted in your direction. "O-oh. It might be the loneliness talking...but I had the strangest dream." How troubling and embarrassing. Your beloved pet had turned into a deformed, monstrous man instead, pinning you down and hungrily grazing your skin with his sharp teeth. Your fearful protests eventually turned into shameless moans, your frail body at the mercy of the mysterious beast. It unfolded so vividly that your core feels sore. You stretch a sheepish hand towards your pet and abruptly stop halfway, noticing the marks diffused into your wrist, like violet smudges of watercolor. What the hell did you do last night?
The dog buries its head under the sheets and nuzzles its snout into your soft flesh. Heh. How many more disappearing guests will be needed for you to figure out your situation? He does find your obliviousness terribly amusing, as well as your willingness to clutch onto him despite his unsightly appearance. He was feeling particularly cheeky and thought of giving you a little scare, only to be once again taken aback by your neediness. He has to wonder who exactly is trapped in this situation, because your reactions to everything he does are frighteningly tempting. Maybe tonight he'll finally let you know, just as you're about to come undone beneath his heaving body. Something like, hmmm. "By the way, love, this isn't a dream." He could even add a little "woof" to tease you more.
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etheries1015 · 24 days
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"Now where did that little cutie go..." Lilia murmured, searching around for his little Tsum. He enjoyed this little game of hide and seek, the way that the mini-Lilia sought to be as mischievous as him was by no means an accident. It was getting rather late though, and far be it from Lilia to miss his gaming session because the Tsum decided to stay up and find victims to its games.
Lilia checked around every hiding spot imaginable - leaving one building unchecked. Ramshackle. Upon entering the dorm, he called out your name to no avail.
"Hmm... Are they not here? Strange indeed," the fae hummed, taking a look around before knocking lightly on the door he knew to be your bedroom. After calling your name had yet again failed to give a response, he figured just a little peak wouldn't hurt... (What a perv! You would cry out, but he knew you'd never actually mind. You were rather used to your lovers antics.) Upon opening the door revealed an exhausted prefect hugging his little look alike, in which also seemed to be at peace within your grasp. His eyes widened at the sight, before a smile creeping onto his lips. The way you curled up with the Tsum tight in your grasp and cheek squished against its plush head, Lilias heart SOARED.
"Kufufu...so this little Tsum thought it could take my place, could it? How mischievous, indeed!" Lilia considered waking you up and insisting you switch the knock off version of himself with the real deal- but something about seeing you resting at ease whilst holding the previously restless Tsum, he couldn't help but snap a photo and quitely sneak out. Lilia knew you were working hard and under so much stress as of late, that to see you at such tranquility brought some consolation to know he may have been able to provide some comfort. Albeit...the plush version of himself. Nonetheless, he believed in the sentiment.
He'd call dibs the next day, though!
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animeficsworld · 3 months
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The Caged Beast
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Itadori Yuji x Reader / Sukuna Ryomen x Reader
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There was a curse living inside your husband.
The strongest curse was only able to stay alive inside Itadori.
Rather than choosing death, Sukuna decided to stay in Yuji.
As the years passed, many things happened.
Yuji changed, grew into a man, met you and got married.
You were a kind soul.
Someone even Sukuna looked at with suspicion. 
Kind yet deadly, is the correct description.
You could be smiling, baking cookies in one second and in the next, you could be slaying curses left and right.
Sukuna had to admit, that Yuji chose well. He approved of you.
And now, after three years of marriage, you were pregnant. 
Your first child and Sukuna knew it would be a girl.
A little girl indeed.
A beautiful and healthy little girl. 
A true princess.
Yuji helped you every second of your pregnancy and even now with your baby.
He helped when he didn't have to go to fight.
Like now, Yuji was out with Megumi while you gave a bath to your daughter.
Yui, lovingly named after his father, was a rather calm baby. She liked to sleep and babble when she was awake. 
Yui adored her father and you. She wanted to be held at all times.
A true princess.
You soon dried her with a soft towel and got her into her fluffy pyjamas. 
Placing her on your chest you started to watch a show on TV.
The front door opened, but you were too immersed in the show to care.
"Food is on the table, I'm watching this, I hope the lady wins!" you said not looking away but you did notice your husband walk into the room. He moved over and got Yui from your chest, placing it on his as he sat down next to you on the couch.
His silence should have alarmed you.
It truly should have.
But it didn't.
Instead, you didn't even notice that Yuji didn't say a word until the show was long finished.
Then you felt it, the change, but it didn't scare you.
"Nice to see you from time to time. What prompted your visit?" you turned and looked at Ryomen.
His eyes locked with yours.
"I just wanted to see my Princess." he said as he ran his hand down Yui's back.
"She is Yuji's Princess." you said as you reached for your cup of tea and started to drink.
"I live inside this idiot. You made sure I would never leave. At least, let me have an hour with her."
You found it strange how Ryomen liked your daughter so much.
"You can have your hour. Just making sure you know she is not yours."
"She is My Princess. The only being on this world worth being in this idiot's body."
"Ouch. So it is not worth living for me? And here I thought we had a thing."
"I would have made you my bride. You are way too powerful for me to ignore." you nodded and began to look for something on the TV.
Yui slowly began to stir.
"She must be hungry," you said. "Her bottle is on the counter." you pointed behind yourself, not looking away from the TV.
"Are you joking?"
"It is part of your hour, go feed her." 
Sukuna mumbled something under his breath before leaving to get the bottle.
As he sat in her room, feeding and burping her, Sukuna wondered if he should tell you.
Since he became a part of Itadori's body, when you bonded their souls during a fight, technically this was as much as his body as it was Itadori's. So technically, the child sleeping in his arms was as much his as it was Itadori's.
Yuji asked you during a very intense fight to bond Sukuna to his body. Destroy the rest of his fingers and kill him.
But you couldn't do it.
You love Yuji too much to hurt him, instead, you bonded Sukuna to his soul, using Yuji as a cage to hold the beast.
You didn't know but by doing so, you got Sukuna's blood mixed with Yuji's. You didn't know or rather you chose to ignore the fact.
Sukuna was sure you didn't know but had suspicions.
You were a smart woman after all.
But you loved Yuji. Sukuna was just a plus one in the mix, one no one asked for or needed. But he was there.
Yui is Yuji's daughter. And you will never let anyone tell you otherwise.
--- 
You looked up as he exited the room, it was Yuji this time.
You smiled at him as you rushed to hug him.
"Did you put her to sleep?"
"Yup. Weird, I can't remember coming home."
"You are too tired, let's go to bed." 
Yuji smiled and you both moved to the bedroom.
You quickly fell asleep when Ryomen decided that he still had 10 minutes of his hour.
He looked at you sleeping beside him, it was strange. He only ever cared about power.
He lived to see the fear in people.
And yet, you never feared him, he feared you.
Your fierce attitude, your power and that look... is that what they call a mother's look? You could make the entire room shut up with just one look of yours.
Fierce and powerful. Yuji didn't deserve you in his eyes, he did.
But he was okay with getting just an hour with you and Yui... for now.
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theminecraftbee · 1 month
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“Mumbo, I think Grian and Gem are possessed!”
Scar bursts through the door of the iron farm is building rather suddenly. This is indeed rather impressive, on account of the iron farm not having a door. Mumbo wonders if Scar put on there for dramatic effect, or if bursting into a space while shouting manifests door-like qualities, or maybe if he forgot he’d placed an entirely unnecessary door down. It’s almost as unnecessary as the iron farm, given Grian still hasn’t forgiven him for the whole ‘trying to see how far he can make Grian go to trade permits’ thing, and—
“Mumbo, you aren’t paying attention! I think Grian and Gem are possessed!” Scar says, distressed.
“What? Er, I mean, yes, we’d all rather noticed, hadn’t we?” Mumbo says. “Really don’t know why you’re panicking about it. Bit old, that news is.”
“Why didn’t anyone tell me!” Scar says, making a dramatic hand motion. “It’s terrible! My builds, Mumbo! My beautiful train! I live right next to both of them! Oh, oh, my beautiful train!”
Mumbo squints. “Well that’s a bit rude. Grian was possessed last season and you were perfectly fine putting your base next to him then.”
“It was different, Mumbo! Oh, sure, he had a rock that ate bases, but not with him! And it only barely moved without asking. And the Rift, well, that didn’t move! That didn’t eat parts of my build! Mumbo, do you know how long it takes to make a train design real enough that builder’s magic will actually take to it these days? Standards are so high!”
“Ah. Is the ocean eating bases now? Because if so I admit that’s a little concerning.” Mumbo says, mentally trying to decide how to heist the prismarine permit into Grian’s inventory so he doesn’t have to deal with a self-destroying guardian farm. That would just be silly. He can destroy and rebuild a slime farm every other day, sure, but a guardian farm? Where would he keep the sponges!
Scar has conspicuously stopped talking, Mumbo realizes.
“Um,” Mumbo says.
“I said, why would the ocean eat bases?” Scar helpfully repeats.
“Well, you just said the thing possessing Grian and Gem might eat your train,” Mumbo says.
“What? Why would I be talking about the ocean? Mumbo, you said this was old news!” Scar says.
“That’s because it is! Gem was talking about getting the ocean to possess her even before we got here! It was her whole plan, some kind of spooky boat thing! I was really quite surprised you’d missed it!” Mumbo says.
“Why would I be talking about that? Psssh. That’s old news,” Scar says.
“That’s what I said!” Mumbo says.
“Anyway, I don’t know why you’re bringing our fishy overlords into this. I was talking about the snails.”
Mumbo’s thoughts crash to a blessedly silent halt.
“The what?”
“The snails that are eating everything. I think they’re possessing Grian and Gem.”
“There are snails that are eating everything?”
“Yes! That’s why I’m panicking!”
“Well great, now I’m panicking too! Why didn’t you just say so?”
“I did!”
Mumbo looks back at his iron farm. “Scar, what if they eat this before I realize how pointless it all was? Snails are small! I wouldn’t even notice until the zombie turned into a little pile of smoldering flesh! Why are Grian and Gem possessed by snails, they were supposed to be possessed by the ocean!”
“I don’t know,” Scar says. “Mumbo. Mumbo you have to help.”
“How! I’m not qualified for this!” Mumbo says. “People always assume, oh you’ve known Grian forever, surely you’re qualified, but I’m not! I have a weak will, Scar, he doesn’t even have to bother possessing me before I go along with his schemes! And Gem is possessed too? Count me right out.”
Scar frowns. “Oh. I didn’t think you’d stop Grian. I wanted your help getting our own snails to be possessed by.”
“Why?”
Scar thinks for a moment. Scar shrugs.
“Yeah, you know what, fine,” Mumbo says. “Makes more sense than this iron farm. Um, I guess we build a snail shrine now? I have to say, very strange that this whole cult thing keeps happening to me.”
The two of them put their heads together and start planning. If they’re all going to be overtaken by snails, Mumbo figures, best to get a head start. Maybe then he’ll even get an excuse to start the unnecessary gold farm in the process.
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oloohyeah · 1 year
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Adam & Ben please read that
Adam and Ben I'm writing to you guys not because I'm looking for revenge coz that's stupid if you thinking as such. After all Adam if you remember, and you do remember  every time that you been with me, it was better then a dream.  you never opposed visit me, and just think, open your brilliant mind, and remember how you was waiting to the day to come to stay with me. I remember you always slept in my room and we used to talk about so many things. So not to talk to me, or even worst then verbal abuse and physical abuse combined, its that you horribly ignoring me. Sorry Adam and Ben, but I would rather die then do this thing to your mom if it was my control. How can mom restricted her kids to see their dad? Adam don’t listen to cheap propaganda, that I'm sick, or need any treatment. I'm clear minded and Sharp as a razor. And if your lier ( not a lawyer) mom feed you with nonsense just ask her. If so, how come with restraining order she came to be with us in the summer break 2012 in Israel? I'll send you  pictures of proof. It just show you that for the sake of their game she won't hesitate to kill you too. if you will upset her. And I'm not joking.  I'm 100% serious, your mom need to get a diagnosis and observation. If I ask you a question, Adam, why do you think they hatched this plot? Please just don't tell me which one? because disability is an impossible conspiracy Adam. Your mother,  never wanted to leave her career your mother fought her way around, and she failed so if so why don't we fall for her little husband and her unconditional yes mam?  Adam and Ben you not going to dump me just like that. your mom can't influence on your already open mind. If they pictures me as the boogie man I'm quite surprised you’re know me better,  and I have never razed hand neither humiliated you, always with respect and love. And now I wish to tell you how bad is to behave in such a hideous act and ignore me. Btw the picture to proof to you she was hanging with me while restraining order on my head how stupid moron a man can be. What can I do it was hard enough to loos all my investment 😕
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The university of Tokyo An interesting experiment was conducted. Before the experiment they decided to interview all the serial killers in the world. Of course, the USA has the desired product and an interesting thing that all the serials answered was ignorance and neglect. So here we will start the experiment. They took three small plants and numbered them one two and the third. The first plant the sang and let him hear classic music gave him a lot a lot of love. The second They cursed spoke rudely and treated him as if he was not equal and the third plant they completely ignored nothing nothing nothing. What do you think happened after a month? Hahahaha well so plant number 1 was green and mushy. Second plant was green with small brown touches of maybe abuse but no Seriously. The third plant was black, rotten and dead. This is basically what happens to a person who just decided for no reason to ignore him. Just think what a one-year-old child thinks when his mother went out with friends and didn't come back for a few days but the helpless baby feels. Adam and Ben I'm not a baby but I have feelings and there is nothing more difficult than that my children ignore me, what if I didn't do them any harm? And I hope you going to dig what I have written to you and stop this ugly act of ignorance and if you any issues the best way to solve it is by openly express yourself do not ever act like the Margarita the cuckoo's nest and keep a stupid secret, look what's happening now after twenty years of not knowing about anything. remember secrecy postponed . Disclosure will advance you. Please  reconnect with me. Love you always 💓
Abba
And much applause 👏
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greatunironic · 6 days
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eddie wakes up in a strange room. this was not particularly unusual for him, historically: he’d spent most of his twenties waking up in new and interesting places (including a handful of jail cells). but after eddie, the label, and the los angeles superior court system decided it would be best if he stopped drinking and doing blow, it stopped being such a regular occurrence.
so it’s almost alarming to him, now, to be blinking up at an unfamiliar cement ceiling with the raging bitch of all headaches and generally feeling like he got hit by a truck, got whiplash in a crash with the way his neck aches. he’d think he was hungover like all those times before except for how sharp the pain is, bright.
he worries, briefly, he’s relapsed, or someone’s slipped him something. but he remembers what him and the boys had been up to, before this, and he thinks it’d’ve been a strange night indeed if someone roofied a c-list (b-list if he’s feeling charitable) musician at a fucking frozen four game.
because yeah, eddie remembers: they’d been third row, watching the wisconsin ladies clean up and cheering for jeff’s kid sister like she was about to get olympic gold. (she probably would, someday. her and that mayfield girl who played defense were looking down the barrel at a 2026 run apparently.
eddie’s been to a handful of games over the years, when touring and recording allows them to go. he’s resolutely never been a sports guy but he’ll admit, when pressed, that live hockey is pretty dope. to say nothing, of course, of how jeff would probably murder them all in their sleep if they didn’t rep the red and white for lottie.
(and also — and this is between eddie and his god alright — but lottie’s coach? standing back there in his suit, hair styled and dialed, snapping his gum, yelling at the refs? kind of doing it for him, okay. worth the price of admission, even if the tickets weren’t free.)
when he thinks harder — which hurts too — the last thing he clearly remembers was someone from the beavers scoring, bringing their lead to 5-1, and a slapshot from the other team getting out over the boards and nearly taking out some lady’s popcorn. someone behind them in the seats said, “jesus they’re getting desperate, eh?”
then shit goes dark on him, not even a fade to black, but a full on smash cut, roll credits black, and the post-credits scene is where ever the fuck eddie is at the moment. it smells like human and cold and icy hot, so obviously, he thinks, he died and went to hell like all the church ladies said he would back in hawkins, or probably just a locker room. what the fuck?
he blinks at the ceiling, at an interesting water stain on the cement texturing. he’s in the middle of wondering where the rest of his band has gone if he’s here alone, fucking abandoners, when a sweaty redhead with the bitchiest expression he’s maybe ever seen enters his field of vision.
“you’re alive,” she says.
eddie blinks again. “why do you sound so disappointed?”
“yo coach!” she shouts, already on the move away from him. “he’s alive!”
he tries to sit up, but that makes the pain in his head worse, and also draws attention to the fact that his back also hurts. he squeezes his eyes shut and makes a truly embarrassing noise of pain — if pressed, he’d call it a whimper — and a pair of big hands land on his shoulders.
“out, out ladies i got this! hey!, hey, man, don’t move just yet,” says big hands.
“yeah, no problem, i don’t want to anymore,” eddie says. he stirs up the will to open his eyes again and very nearly slams them back shut. because of course the person staring down at him is fucking coach hottie snackycakes himself. he’s even better looking in person, too, big droopy eyes, lips as pink as his bubblegum, and shiny, jesus christ. he’s still got eddie by the shoulders, hands warm through the thin cotton of his flannel and tee — because eddie’s always been more fashion than sense, wayne always said, and it’s even worse now that the paps are on him—
“oh, fuck this is gonna be all over tiktok later, isn’t it?” he moans.
“maybe not.”
“don’t lie.”
“listen, eddie — it is eddie, right?” asks coach hottie. “i’m steve. coach harrington. faughnsie — lottie, i mean — she said you’re eddie. her brother’s guitarist? what do you remember?”
“more like he’s my singer,” he says, “but sure. and not much.”
“well, you’re gonna be okay,” says coach hottie — steve. “it really wasn’t that bad, and it was probably too fast for anyone to get it, unless they already had a camera on you. you took a puck to the head when one popped up. i’d apologize but it wasn’t one of my girls who did it, so. anyway — you weren’t out for long, which robbie says is good — she’ll get a look at you in a second — but you got your bell rung pretty good. and you’re gonna have quite the shiner, trust me.”
“speaking from experience?”
“oh, yeah. closer and faster too.” he gently raps his head with his knuckles. “too many concussions too early ended my nhl days, in fact.”
“oh. oh shit, sorry, i—“
“don’t worry about it, man, it happens,” he says. “and if it hadn’t, i wouldn’t be here.”
“at the frozen four.”
“yeah, sure, that too.”
“what?”
“what?” steve waves him off. “anyway, i’m just glad to see you up, ish, and talking. looked pretty scary, from the bench.”
“i really don’t remember,” says eddie. “but i’m sure i’ll see it on tiktok later, like i said — at least, my unconscious, bleeding form.”
“i got up there pretty fast, so i doubt it,” says steve.
eddie blinks, twice. “you—?”
“you were behind my bench, and you. well,” he says with a shrug, but he’s clearly a little embarrassed, finally putting those hands away — weapons of eddie destruction, he thinks — and shoving them into his pockets of his tight slacks. “i should be getting back out there.”
“do you? you’re murdering them pretty good, unless i black out and missed them getting four more goals,” eddie says.
the corners of steve’s eyes crinkle when he smiles. eddie thinks he might just pass out again. “no, we’re still gonna cinch it, i think. looks bad, though — first time coach missing the final period so’s he can hit on the cute musician who got his clock cleaned by the biscuit.”
“oh,” he says. swallows. “uh.”
steve’s crinkly, smiley eyes go wide. “unless—“
“no less!” eddie shouts and then immediately winces. at a better, less damaging to his more than slightly concussed noggin, volume, he says, “more, actually. because pretty sure i shouldn’t be left unsupervised, and i’ve clearly been abandoned by the band, so—“
“so,” says steve.
“coach, two minutes!” someone calls.
“so, i was hoping maybe i could keep hitting on the hot hockey coach back at his?”
“i’m at the ramada inn,” he says, “and i got tape to watch for the finals.”
“i live for room service,” eddie tells him seriously. “and i’m suddenly very into wisconsin sports teams.”
“coach! go time!”
“yeah?” he asks.
“yeah.”
“COACH!”
he jerks a thumb over his shoulder. “i gotta — but, uh, later?”
“pick me up in twenty?”
“probably more like half an hour, with stoppage,” he says.
someone bangs on the door. “COACH!! let’s boogie!!”
with one last look, wide eyed and smiling, steve leaves. eddie watches him go. he’d heard hockey players were caked up but lord — eddie is about to convert to a new religion, or maybe found one, over the stretch of those slacks.
“damn,” he says quietly.
“gross,” a woman says. eddie startles and looks to the side, where a lanky brunette with a bob and an undercut is staring at him, unimpressed. she’s in some get up that screams athletic trainer, and there’s a white board in her hand.
“how long have you been there?” he asks.
she raises an eyebrow. “long enough, and honestly, i don’t know if that counts as a you rule for him, or a you suck for you,” she says and does not elaborate when he asks. “also don’t look at him like that. it’s steve. he’s basically my sister.”
“yeah? any tips then?” asks eddie. “i promise i’ll only use them for good. well. mostly.”
“god,” she says with an expansive eye roll. “you’re gonna be a nightmare, aren’t you?”
a cheer goes up outside the room as the teams, presumably, take the ice again. eddie, head throbbing, concussed, embarrassed, grins. “sure hope so,” he says.
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