#a tough nut to crack

[ichiro-artosaki]

i present you

pistachi'zel... because "armored nut" according to my friend 😅

[caemidraws]

Didn't mean to wake you up,

[ants-personal]

thinking about the early days and how quiet edwin probably was yes he kept charles company while dying but he wasnt ready to have him by his side and hes just not use to it so you have him wandering somewhere without telling charles he doesnt share more than he did that night he listens to charles endless rambling and stories but never joins in the conversation really but it is a comfort to have

and charles notices after a bit edwin is not cruel or purposly leaving him out if this guy really escaped hell hes probably been alone this whole time. But he does think edwins likes hearing him he never tells him to be quiet or acts uninterested he hums a response sometimes or nods his head but unless its a question he doesnt really talk so charles starts slowly integrating things into his stories to ask edwin if hes heard of this or done that starts asking edwin questions of just random stuff thinking hes coming off as quizzically but edwin catches on and its nice... actually to have someone who wants to see and hear you who doesnt think your off or boring

It leads to one night as they are sitting on the roof of a place they both agree could be an office and home that while sitting on the edge sitting shoulder to shoulder edwin not so subtly decides hes going to open up and so he tells charles that then sitting like this reminds of a time he was sitting on the porch as a child with the family dog

charles makes a jab about edwin basically callin him a dog and edwin has to stumble over himself trying to fix what he thinks was a wrong thing to say that its not the dog part really what he was trying to say and charles just laughs bumping edwins shoulder hes just messing with him edwin smiles a little and charles wants to see more of it he kicks his legs and tilts his head towards edwin and asks the name of the dog which leads to edwin talking more than he has in years and charles cant ge enough of hearing edwins voice

[zu-is-here]

More dark kcrm (just two of them heh) for the birthday fruit @orange-dreamzer <3

[some-stars]

still having Mental Problems, still terrified down to my bones of working on my WIPs that involve multiple scenes and plot progression, so i'm returning to my roots with a story that's more or less one long filthy extremely emotional sex scene. for comfort. like such:

Vanessa kisses Logan first, and it’s a pretty fantastic ego boost the way he just goes for it, so needy and so instantly open to anything she wants to give him. For about ten seconds, anyway, which is when he goes rigid and jerks away and looks over to her other side, at Wade. And his eyes are so fucking miserable and ashamed, if Wade doesn’t clear this shit up in the next five seconds Vanessa is going to push their faces together like Ken dolls and make kissing noises until they both get a clue.

Logan’s already apologizing when Wade grabs his hand--the way Logan automatically holds on so tight makes her heart go all weird for a second--and says, “Hey, no, it’s okay. You’re good. We--" He looks at Vanessa. She raises her eyebrows and offers no help. “We saw you from across the bar and we really like your vibe?” Wade tries.

Logan stares at him blankly, the furrow in his brow getting even deeper.

"Okay," Wade says, “I guess you’re not really up on the last ten years of memes, huh. So. Uh.” He bites his lip. Vanessa elbows him not quite hard enough to crack a rib. “Ow fuck--we want you,” he says finally, his face more open and soft than she’s ever seen it with someone else in the room besides her. Except recently, when Logan’s not looking and Wade thinks Vanessa isn’t.

[an-albino-pinetree]

Honestly your love for all the cool AUs people have made makes me want to create a TADC AU worthy of you.

Worthy?? Of me??

[petitesmafia]

hc I love thinking about noisy neighbour Albatross and I think he truly is just that energetic of a person BUT I also think it’d be hilarious if he actually wasn’t. like he actually needed to set up alarms to wake up at 2AM so he could go vacuum or smth to disturb Chuuya’s peace

[heikeee]

no but i need to scream into the void or i'll go mad. listen. kikyo wasn't a bitch. i don't think the way she was written did her any justice; it just makes her easy to hate. and don't get me wrong, this isn't about her relationship with inuyasha or kagome at all, i just want to talk about her as a character because she is one of the most complex of them and she needs to be looked at with more empathy.

i've said it before and i'll say it again: her whole thing is that she is tragedy personified. think about it. everything, and i mean every single thing that could have gone wrong in her life, HAS gone wrong. she had a difficult upbringing, having to raise her little sister and having to shoulder the burden of being the sole purifier of the shikon jewel (which constantly put her and her village under threat). she was never dealt an easy hand to begin with. then, she finds solace in love, tries her best to think of a way of unraveling herself from her duties to live a free life, while still caring for others selflessly: she took in onigumo, and he betrayed her. by pretending to be inuyasha, he had her think that her lover had betrayed her as well, and succumbed to wounds inflicted by him (or so she thought), while sealing him to the goshinboku.

the last wish she spoke of was to take the shikon jewel to the beyond with herself. later, kagome finds a way to actually destroy the jewel, which was what kikyo had intended to do but couldn't. in her heart, her last wish was to see inuyasha again. the jewel corrupts this wish and grants it in the most fucked up way possible.

her remains are robbed from her grave and she is brought back to life with NO agency on the matter, by someone who wanted only to exploit her powers. now, untethered from from her past duties, she is finally free to experience emotion. and that includes bad emotions. so anger, resentment, jealousy, contempt, loneliness, selfishness (and that's part of being human). every unfulfilled wish, the unfairness of it all. she spends the rest of the series navigating this undead existence, the duality of not belonging anywhere, constantly torn between doing what is right and what needs to be done to reach her goal, having no choice but to consume souls of recently departed girls to have the energy to fight her only fight (destroying naraku), all the while helping villagers and kids, and even the inugang, despite not wanting to align with their agenda at first. she contemplates sacrificing kohaku, yes, but ultimately her redemption is that she chose to save him instead of purifying the jewel in the end. she showed that she trusted the inugang to finish what she couldn't, and chose to spare another life, if possible (she says so herself in ch441)

it is very difficult to relate to someone that doesn't give access to her vulnerable side very often. her and sango are the two characters who had it the hardest and were forced to make the most difficult decisions out of everyone. but we love sango, even when she chose to sacrifice rin, even when she contemplated killing kohaku then herself, because we know where sango's heart lies and how torn she is about all of it. kikyo, on the other hand, is stoic and hardened by her life (and also post-life), but ultimately her biggest trait was kindness. we don't get to see her cry and be like woe is me about it, something that could've made us more empathetic towards her like we are with sango.

my point is kikyo deserves to be looked at through kinder eyes. she is a complex character, and she requires a bit more analysis and compassion to actually see who she really is. my tragic girl

[docmccoy]

I saw some MASH Pacific rim murmurings around and it may be time again for my yearly crack at my beast

[whattupsluts]

i think having sidney freedman as my therapist would fix me

[quatregats]

Thinking about Marie Ladon (under cut for major spoilers through Lord Hornblower)

Contemplating Marie as proxy for what couldn't be with Bush/Hornblower trying to understand his own emotions towards Bush. It's unclear to me what parts of Marie are real and what parts are not; the entire sequence at Graçay is dreamlike to begin with, and the second time Hornblower visits, in Lord Hornblower, it feels equally so. Marie is also a deeply idealized character who seems to understand Hornblower's every need and meet his every want; but we know not to trust the internal monologue at all, and when Marie does actually break through it in a few rare moments, she does seem to be a very different sort of character - the same is also true of Barbara, but Forester is a bit more obvious about it. The thing about Marie is that not only does she only appear in these out-of-the-world, in-between spaces in the narrative, often in a very overly-perfect way, but she also appears at points where Bush and Hornblower's relationship has taken significant turns and Forester only partially elaborates on it. In particular, Bush and Hornblower become very close on the way to Graçay, and appear to have grown even closer upon leaving it (and there are distinctly romantic-adjacent comments on both sides of this sojourn), while on Hornblower's second trip to France, he has lost Bush and clearly been deeply affected by the loss - in fact, it causes a rift between him and Barbara which he deepens by seeking out Marie. There are parallels there in death as well, with both characters dying in the same book - Hornblower lives out death first with Bush at a distance, then again up close with Marie. They move in odd tandem with each other, and while Marie often appears out of nowhere and takes center-stage, Bush always looms large in the background with a longer, more emotionally-wrought storyline that can never quite come to fruition.

I wonder, then, if there is something to be said for Marie as a sort of narrative device for Hornblower's relationship with Bush. She's not that relationship directly, but instead almost a way of processing it - processing the raw desire in Flying Colours, or processing death and grief and a lost illicit relationship which might be far happier than any legally-sanctioned one. She stands in for what Hornblower can't say, and she lets him process and fail to process his ghosts. I'm not quite sure where to go from there, but I think that it's interesting how she serves to act out the things which Hornblower otherwise doesn't dare to say; in Marie there are the echoes of what Hornblower and Bush are, or could be.

[nsewell]

first draft of me exploiting nat's technophobia for kink purposes done i'll edit and clean it up tonight to post tomorrow

[basu-shokikita]

maybe i have not seen the content people complain about but when i see talks about the fandom infantilizing toki i'm confused cause like...didn't canon start that...with every passing season toki become more and more child-like until age regression was essentially confirmed in aotd...

[olibavee]

for some reason my brain has started a habit of generating many dreams in which i have various evil boyfriends. no fucking idea what that's about but i'll take it over having constant nightmares.

[squeakadeeks]

you'd think since i cant go more than a week or two without having a dream where either I or a loved one are brutally attacked and ripped to shreds violently by literal hellhounds, that i'd have more death and despair in my life. but here we are.

[six-demon-bag]

wish i could find that comic that has someone going to bed all “i wonder what ill dream about tonight :)” and then their dream is a horror show and then they wake up like “arent i a tough nut to crack :)”