#a visual and auditory joy

[weirdo-with-a-nametag]

Been hallucinating again. Mostly auditory, the ones that get to me the most are when I'm driving and I hear sirens and car horns. I have my systems for distinguishing whether there's really an ambulance or a cop coming and I don't react until I verify it, but the car horns are harder and all of it puts me on edge

[fruitofarottenwomb]

subliminal crash course

hello everyone! i know that i've been gone for a hot minute, but i'm back! hope y'all didn't miss me too much! today i'm going to be talking about subliminals: what they are, different types, effective ways to use them, how to make subliminal playlists and even some sub creators and subliminals that i use and trust! hope this helps!

what are subliminals?

the cambridge dictionary defines subliminals as not recognized or understood by the conscious mind, but still having an influence on it.

not recognised? conscious mind? vivienne, what do these mean? do not fret! all will be revealed...

if you're a little slow, subliminals are essentially like secret messages sneaked into your brain even though you're not aware of them. think of them as the brain's version of a surprise party—you don't see them coming, but they still make an impact

i define them as messages or stimuli presented below the level of conscious awareness, designed to influence feelings, appearances, or behaviors, which are often used in self-help contexts.

what are some subliminal keywords and their meanings?

trigger words: specific words intended to prompt immediate emotions or states of mind. for example, "peace," "success," or "joy.

masking: the technique of hiding subliminal messages behind music or ambient sounds.

binaural beats: a form of auditory stimulation used in subliminals to enhance relaxation or focus.

sub creator: someone who creates and shares subliminal audio or visual content.

layering: combining multiple subliminal tracks or types of subliminals to enhance effectiveness.

custom subliminals: personalized subliminal tracks created to meet specific needs or goals.

boosters: additional affirmations or messages added to enhance the effects of a main subliminal track.

conscious mind: contains all the thoughts, feelings, cognitions, and memories we acknowledge.

unconscious mind: consists of deeper mental processes not readily available to the conscious mind.

what are the different types of subliminals?

visual subliminals involve quick flashes of images or text based on a theme, topic or desire that are not consciously perceived but are processed by the subconscious.

affirmations are positive statements repeated in a way that they are meant to influence one's subconscious mind.

auditory subliminals include affirmations or messages, but these are played at a low volume, masked by music, rain sounds, or even brown noise! (i'll make a post about what that is and different coloured noise at a later date) the idea is that the messages bypass conscious processing and are absorbed by the subconscious.

forced subliminal refer to subliminal messages that are presented in a way that the subconscious mind is exposed to them more insistently or repetitively than typical subliminals. the idea is that this increased exposure or intensity can make the subliminal more effective.

how can i use them effectively?

consistency: listen to or view subliminals regularly to reinforce the messages.

focus: for me, subliminals work best when i am in a relaxed state, like while meditating or before sleep.

integration: pair subliminals with active efforts toward your goals. for example, if you’re working on improving confidence, use subliminals along with practical steps like public speaking practice.

define clear goals: identify specific outcomes you want to achieve (e.g., increased confidence, better sleep, improved focus).

choose quality subliminals: select well-reviewed and credible subliminal tracks or creators. ensure they use positive, constructive affirmations and are designed professionally. i usually check the comments to see people's experiences when using the subliminal, or i will check the sub creator's instagram, as many of them post results on there.

create a routine: integrate subliminals into your daily routine, such as listening before bed, during meditation, or while relaxing. consistent timing can enhance effectiveness.

monitor your progress: keep track of any changes or improvements in your thoughts, appearance, or behaviors. this can help you gauge effectiveness and adjust your approach if needed. although, you shouldn't be obsessing over results, as this can hinder the process. obsessing over the results means that you don't really believe in the power of you and your mind.

maintain a positive mindset: stay open and positive about the process. a positive attitude can enhance the effectiveness of subliminals. but, contrary to popular belief, you can still be sad or skeptical about a subliminal and still see results, however, it does help to have a good self concept.

how can i make a subliminal playlist?

what i personally do is start with four boosters (each from different sub creators), then i'll just add all the subliminals that i want from a specific creator, add the four boosters again, and repeat with another sub creator. the amount of subliminals i add for a specific creator is unlimited. i just add subliminals that's given me results, ones i wanna try out, etc. this may not be for everyone, so here's some tips for a more organised sub playlist:

identify key topics: determine the main areas you want to focus on, such as confidence, relaxation, productivity, or health.

create subcategories: within each main topic, create subcategories if needed. for example, under "confidence," you might have subcategories like "social confidence" and "professional confidence."

arrange by priority: arrange the topics in order of priority or relevance to your current goals. place the most important ones at the top of the playlist.

set time frames: consider the duration of each track and the overall length of the playlist. ensure it’s manageable and fits into your daily routine.

track variation: mix different types of subliminal messages if you have a variety, such as affirmations or binaural beats.

update regularly: periodically review and update your playlist based on your progress and changing goals.

test and adjust: listen to your playlist regularly and adjust based on how well it resonates with you and supports your goals.

aaand were done! i hope this has been informative and helpful to you, and if you have any success stories with subliminals, send them to me! i'm making a post about subliminal creators i recommend, so make sure you look out for that! love you all!

good luck ♡

[gobbogoo]

Everything We Know About Who Pyro Is/Was:

Obviously Pyro remains ​​⁠​⁠​⁠an enigma and I'm not going to pretend I have much in the way of definitive proof, however there ARE aspects of their background we can reasonably assume based on the skills and behaviours Pyro displays. First and foremost, we need to understand the extent of the disconnect between their consciousness and reality. Most folks understand it as mainly auditory and visual hallucination, however if you look at side-by-side moments in Meet The Pyro, you'll realize that there's a clear disconnect between Pyro's physical stance:

What Pyro believes they are doing with their body and what their body is actually doing can be entirely disconnected. Furthermore, if you listen closely to Pyro's more comprehensible dialogue, you'll notice that what they say lines up more with what they're actually doing, and not what they THINK they're doing:

Put together, this implies Pyro possesses not just a disconnect from reality, but also a full-blown division of personality. There's Conscious Pyro, who is the bundle of joy frolicking through Pyroland, and then there's Unconscious Pyro, who is the maniacal murderer actively interacting with reality. Both of these personalities seem to play a factor in Pyro's behaviour. While Conscious Pyro clearly seems to possess a degree of control over how they act in Pyroland, the fact that all those actions also happen to be very effective methods of murder in the real world says that Unconscious Pyro is steering these decisions.

Now, these two are not ALWAYS so disconnected or extreme. When not actively burning things, Pyro's perceived reality seems to line up more closely with what's actually happening from a visual, auditory, and physical standpoint:

Conscious Pyro's whimsy and Unconscious Pyro's murderousness both seem to drastically tone down in these circumstances, however both never fully go away. Pyro is ALWAYS capable of extreme violence/destruction:

Speaking of extreme violence, Conscious Pyro DOES share Unconscious Pyro's capacity and willingness to cause harm. This implies that the difference between the personalities' behaviour is more-so the result of their perceived environments, not demeanour.

To summarize, Pyro's disconnect from reality becomes more powerful when in the presence of fire/destruction, and this causes a divergence in Pyro's perceived and presented personalities. Moving on to in-game lore, it is stated that Pyro built/improvised the majority of their weapons (mainly out of stuff found in a garage.) This is immediately clear if you look at the individual components of their flamethrower:

The primary exception to this is their shotgun, which is a standard weapon they nonetheless operate with a trained familiarity:

Building a flamethrower is no easy feat. Besides being extremely complicated and dangerous, all information regarding flamethrower construction and schematics are strictly controlled by the U.S. government. Therefore I'd say it isn't much of a leap to suggest that Pyro's ability to construct and operate improvised military-grade incendiary weaponry must have been the result of formal training.

This is further supported by the fact that their flame-retardant suit is not equipment provided by Mann Co, as they continue to wear it even after being fired. All this together implies that before becoming a mercenary, Pyro had a job that provided them with both the knowledge and tools of an incendiary specialist. This more-or-less confirms that Pyro was not ALWAYS so insane, as at some point they were considered stable enough to be trusted with such a dangerous job. Since Pyro seemingly hasn't taken the suit off since that job, it can be deduced that whatever triggered or inflicted the madness they now suffer from must have occurred during their service. It would also explain why all of Pyro's incendiary weapons are homemade while their suit is standard-issue. After being fired they obviously weren't allowed to keep any weaponry, meaning they had to construct their own.

There are a lot of ways to interpret all of this, but my personal theory is that Pyro was at one point part of some Cold War experiment. One that sought to disconnect soldiers from the reality of their actions during combat, while ALSO allowing them to operate with brutal efficiency. Considering this was the era of the Vietnam War, a way to make soldiers not feel guilty or resentful while being ordered to commit atrocities would have been an invaluable tool for the USA's military. Pyro being a highly trained candidate for such an experiment is the only explanation I can think of for how they could be simultaneously highly trained in incendiary weaponry AND be too blatantly insane to ever justify such training. This would ALSO explain why Pyro is both so frighteningly dangerous and unstable, yet still somehow employable as a mercenary. While extreme, they remain capable of understanding and following instructions from superiors. Even if said instructions have to be delivered in a slightly different manner:

[sugar-sweet-hospital]

Bloody Lamb Syndrome

A condition that indiscriminately affects exclusively angels, be them cisangel or transangel. This condition alters the angel's physical, emotional, and psychological state, leading to distress both within the angel and for those around them.

Requested by @morphoqueer

Symptoms include:

Facial Blindness

Subjects experience a decreased or even complete inability to recognize faces, even those of close friends and loved ones, leading to confusion and anxiety in social interactions.

Craving for Blood

Subjects experience a significant loss of appetite for human food, replaced by an insatiable craving for blood. This craving is overwhelming and can be constant.

Loss of Interest in Activities

Subjects experience a profound loss in activities that once brought joy, especially those involving social interaction and communal gatherings.

Auditory Hallucinations

Subjects frequently will attempt to speak to beings that are invisible to those without the condition. Mostly manifests in voices, though for some subjects, this may escalate into visual hallucinations as well as auditory.

Paranoia

Subjects have an exaggerated sense of distrust and hostility towards those who are not well known. This symptom often manifests as suspicion, aggression, and avoidance.

Aggression Towards Loved Ones

Uncharacteristic physical aggression and hostility towards those closest to the subject, including friends and family members. This aggression is often irrational and intense.

[silverstudios]

(Bad end) Friends forever more

(Blame @fandomfuntimem and them mentioning their bad end idea, it's what got me thinking about this in the first place. Warning- Angst.)

Clyde liked keeping things organized within- liked keeping the struggling souls in the correct places. The important ones- the little ones, Sammy, that one gas station attendant that got it to laugh- sat in its chest, beating alongside its hearts. Their whispers are audible, understandable- their voices a part of it’s own on a daily basis. 

The rest-police officers, drunken teenagers, those unlucky enough to cross its path during a hunt- sat in its center, muffled, forgotten, unneeded. A byproduct of its biology. 

Alex was going to be in the center of its chest, cradled between its hearts and ribs- the mere thought made its tail twitch and a gleeful giggle raced from it as it jumped over the little picket fence. It paused to make sure Winfrey didn’t get caught in the phone lines above, and sent them a large grin as they passed the threshold into Alex’s yard. It was good to have them back, to know they were nearby. 

It was especially glad they were feeling well enough to follow it tonight, it needed its partner's help in cause Alex was able to slip outside during this little game it had planned, and then of course what comes after was for them both. 

It trouted across the grass, tail swaying side to side, the grin on its face only getting wider with each step toward its favorite entry window, a growl escaping from its center. 

It hadn’t eaten in a week as it waited for winfrey to recover, curled up alongside them- dreaming of this moment. 

Once Alex was inside, tucked into its chest, their heart beating alongside its own- no fear of fading, no fear of mortal life- this partnered pair were going to make Eastridge a Ghost town. As a celebration of freedom- as vengeance for what this town had allowed to happen. 

It rose and tapped against the glass- tap tap tap tap tap tap- and its tail raised in joy as Alex poked their head into view. It smiled and wiggled its claws, and Alex- oh sweet, kind, foolish Alex- opened the glass for it. 

“There you are- got me a bit worried there.” They sighed, stepping back as it crawled in. It couldn’t help but feel almost Bad for what it was about to do, for the betrayal it knew Alex was going to feel…but this was a good thing- for them both. 

Life unending for Alex, no fear of fade or the limits of their fragile body- they still had that massive slash across their cheek from last week- and for it? It’s companion, its friend, safe and warm within, never to be lost nor taken. A comforting weight against its hearts, to hold and enjoy whenever it pleased- their mind, entwined with its own-.

A grumble-then a growl-escaped from it, and Alex blinked heavily. 

“Oh.” they whispered. “Here, let me go make some sandwiches-” The fact they had ducked in time to avoid its lunge was a surprise, them yelping like a squeaky toy that had just gotten run over was not. It giggled from its spot on top of the kitchen counters, Tail swinging out in gleeful swipes- the world Warped, reflecting its delight around it. “What the hell was that Clyde-!?” They stopped when their eyes met its own, and it got to watch Every second of recognition and dread that crossed their features. “...Oh.” They took a step back, It shifted on the counter as its tail curled onto the wall behind it, eyes widened and a delighted grin reached its eyes. It Purred- it couldn’t help itself, it was so excited, so Gleeful, hearts beating like drums in its chest. The ones within were divided- some begged for it to change its mind, to stop, while others- the little ones, mostly- were just as excited at the thought of having a New friend as it was! “You knew this was Coming~” “Fuck.” They ran, and it Cackled as it sprung from its perch. Hallucinations, visual and auditory- no holding back tonight. No muffling itself to protect fragile ears or minds, no dimming of its visions, no holding back- it’s time to play! This was Always its favorite part of a hunt- playing Tag. 

A blur, a rush- a chorus of yelps and slams and curses and Laughter. It didn’t care that it was causing a wreck of the house, it didn’t care that it’s tail shattered glass and tables. It, for those wonderful moments, let its instincts take over. The rush of the chase, of near missing it’s swipes and grabs, and skidding across wooden floor- And then it slammed into a door. Alex had slinked into a room, and had managed to slam it shut a second before it entered. It had slammed into it like a bull- and the fact the door didn’t fall off it’s hinges was honestly impressive. Annoying, but Impressive… “...You can’t hide in there~” It cooed, leaning against the indented wooden door, tail tapping against it playfully. “That room doesn’t have an exit~” It could practically taste the fear coming through the door, could hear their gasps for breath and the pounding of their heart. Could smell the salt from the tears in their eyes and sweat. “........Clyde, you don’t want to eat me.” they whispered just loud enough to be heard. “I- I would not taste good, sleep medications and pain killers aren’t tasty.” Ah, there’s the barging, which It had expected before flight or fight. 

“I’ve eaten humans with much worst materials in them, You’ll taste just fine~” A gulp, a shudder. “....I…..This is what I get for thinking you cared….” It slumped slightly, eyes glanced away for a second. “I do.” “You’re trying to eat me.” “Because I care- Because you’re my friend.” And it does. It really does- just maybe not in the way Alex views those words. Every moment it stood near them, it fought itself to not pounce, to not lunge. It repeated it over and over again, “I don’t care about Alex”, to keep itself from cracking and acting on what its heart demanded of it. From swallowing them whole, putting them next to the little ones and holding on tight. It fought every instinct it had, bit its tongue at every cut Alex had gotten during this little adventure…

Because it had needed them outside, it needed their help to get Winfrey back and they couldn’t do that tucked away in its rib cage. But now, Winfrey was free, the asylum up in flames and the bastard who started this dead and rotting somewhere. 

Alex didn’t need to be outside any longer.

 The two remained silent for a while, the only sounds being the breathing, Clyde’s purring and the quiet, fought back sobs that Alex was trying to hide. Clyde knew Alex wouldn’t let it in or come out while it was still there…and so it climbed up onto the wall, tail striking the ground to mimic its walk, moving it further and further away… It waited, breath held…and grinned as the door opened, Alex poking their head out and looking around. “.....Clyde?” they whispered, moving slowly and looking down the hall…and it lowered itself, mouth opened wide. It wouldn’t chew…much, anyway. It didn’t need to, and it didn’t want to hurt them. Alex had looked up just as it lunged down. They didn’t even get to scream. All they had seen was a flash of yellow- and then warm, tight darkness and the sound of delighted purring.

[jemmo]

ok i just finished binging opla and as someone who is like the most distant fan, who doesn’t even have any previous emotional connection to the show, i just have to say this is spectacular. like really. and no matter whether you’re a fan, whether you’ve seen the anime or read the manga or not, or whether you’ve even heard of one piece before, watch this show.

i can’t remember what one it was, but i was watching a video essay about the barbie movie yesterday, and this is really an extension of what was said there, about the nature of so called things made for kids, and about the point of visual media. first off, i just adore how much of an absolute spectacle this show is. it’s visuals, it’s story and writing, it’s pacing, it’s characters, the fights, the sets, the wardrobe, just the feat this show is, it’s such a visual and auditory and sensory feast and oh my god is it so fun and thrilling to be along for the ride. and this is what media lacks so much for me, this unbridled sense of fun. bc this is like being on a white knuckle ride. you’re propelled from story to story, from heartfelt moments to exquisite fight choreo, from twisted, terrifying clowns to pure dumbassery. there is no consistent, coherent tone bc that’s the point, and that is the tone. the tone is chaos through and through and it’s so thrilling to go along on the journey. and it’s one of the best examples of showing how something you see as childish can not just resonate with adults, but should be watched by adults. bc it’s not a kids show at all, but it has the joy of a kids show at its heart, and i don’t think it’s silly to not outgrow loving seeing pirates go on adventures and follow their dreams and the fucking power of friendship. its fun!! idk what else to say, it’s just so fun!! and it’s so much more!!

[pocket-watcher]

So I saw you like The Smiler and take requests, which is great because I also love The Smiler. Would you be interested in writing a Doctor from the Ministry of Joy kidnapping and marmalizing the POV, please? Smile always!

Hi anon! It would be my pleasure…

You awoke in a darkened room. What the hell?

The last thing you remembered was… hmm… you were on a trip somewhere, but then what? Someone had appeared behind you. Chloroform?

You had felt your body grow tired. Weak in their arms.

You’d sworn their eyes were spiralling. They smiled as they watched yours close as everything around you faded to black.

Thoughts for another time. Let’s escape first, you thought, scanning the room. The dim light wasn’t helping, though.

You tried to stand but felt something holding you in place. Luckily, your arms were free from the contraption. You pushed at whatever was over your chest but it wouldn’t budge.

Suddenly a bright white light turned on. You flinched away from it.

“Ministry of Joy logs: 75128. Subject seems in stable condition. Beginning experiment now.”

The voice echoed through what sounded like speakers. You opened your eyes to investigate and were shocked at the sudden bright yellow and black assaulting your vision.

Spirals, all over the walls, in the shape of a smiling face.

You looked down at the thick yellow bars holding you back. Now that there was light you might be able to see a lever, or clasp, something to unlock it.

Part of the wall opened and someone stepped through.

“Ah. Good. Seems you’re ready to begin.”

They spoke with the same voice you’d heard over the speaker.

“Where am I?!” You demanded. You watched the wall close, your way out of there now blocked.

“All in due time.” They pulled a small recording device out of the pocket and clicked it. “I am about to begin the marmalisation process, version 3. This system includes auditory, visual, olfactory, and physical. Standing by.”

Marmalisation?

The doctor made some sort of signal, were there cameras in here? And the room began to fill with gas.

You struggled, coughing, before trying to hold your breath. You saw the doctor smile.

Another signal, and the bright light flicked off. And on. And off again. Flashing rapidly, repeatedly, shocking your eyes.

The walls and their spiral pattern almost appeared to move each time the lights turned on. You stared, mouth still tightly closed as the smoke danced around the room. As the spirals drew you in.

You were starting to slip. How long could the average person hold their breath? You were sure whatever it was you couldn’t do it for half that time.

Eventually you had to breathe in, twisting your head to breathe up away from the gas as much as possible.

It smelled… sweet. Nostalgic. You felt yourself smile slightly, before your conscious brain caught up with you. Reminisce later, focus on escaping now.

You knew you were screwed when you caught a glimpse of the doctor smiling. That’s when speakers came to life once more.

“The Ministry of Joy thanks you for your participation.”

“Remember to smile!”

“You want to be happy.”

“It feels so nice to laugh.”

“Give in to joy.”

You felt the gas fill your lungs. Your eyes, half lidded, searched for the centre of the spiral. Your mouth stretched into an unconscious smile.

What had you been doing? You couldn’t recall. You were struggling, but why would you be doing that when it felt so natural to just sit and to smile.

Resistance was never an option.

Off to one side you were vaguely aware of the doctor poking and prodding you, shining a light into your eyes, scribbling onto his clipboard.

But you didn’t mind. You just sat there, happy to keep staring, smiling, and obeying.

“Excellent. But I’m sure you could go deeper, yes? Let’s move on to phase 2.” The doctor grinned at you. “Someone prepare The Smiler!”

[walpu]

Adesina met Screwllum shortly after the fall of Rubert I. More specifically when Screwllum managed to reach an agreement with the IPC so that mechanical lives would not be eliminated by them.

The fame of Screwllum and the industrial revolution that took place on Planet Screwllum after that caught the attention of the nameless. However, she was cautious when entering the planets, doubtful of the Screwllumnite's proclamation that they did not follow the same ideologies as Rubert.

She took advantage of the Mask of Shattered Ages, which looks like the head of a Screwllumnite, and used clothes that covered her skin to blend in between them. She just wanted to look around the planet and then leave, that's all.

But as she walked through the streets she overheard a small conversation of Screwllumnites curious about organic lives, wondering specific things about them. Adesina was so distracted that she ended up responding without realizing it, and to justify it without committing herself, she lied saying that she was a Screwllumnite who studied organic life.

It didn't take long for most of the Screwllumnite to learn of the fame created around Adesina's lie, and this eventually reached Screwllum.

He invited her to his palace for a whole day visit. Adesina tried her best to maintain the pretense fearing what would happen if he found out. (Spoiler: he already knew)

He was curious, to say the least. An organic creature that snuck onto the planet pretending to be a Screwllumnite could be described as intriguing, especially one that has its name highlighted on the IPC's wanted list. He was cautious, waiting to catch some malicious intent in her, but he didn't get a single hint of it. By the end of the visit he had calmed down about her presence on the planet.

While Adesina? She got swiped off her feet for him. His gentlemanly behavior, his perspectives on organic lives and mechanical lives, the way he spoke, the aura that surrounded him. Adesina was completely red beneath the mask the whole time.

No matter what happened, she always found herself meeting Screwllum again and being the courteous man that he is, he always invited her to visit the palace, in an attempt to better understand organic lives and Adesina herself.

And boy... the robot got hooked. So much for her personality, her stories, down to the smallest mannerisms. At first he didn't realize it, despite being one of the Screwllumnite who had the most notion of organic life and knowing what romantic love was, that was a new perspective for him.

His auditory sensors picked up what she said better than any other sound. His visual sensors focused on her whenever she was in his field of vision. His body jolts seemed tense when she was very close. His information processor seemed to have created an affection for the memories he had formed with her.

As she fell more in love, the more guilty she felt for “lying” to him. One night, when she and Srcewllum were observing the planet's sky from the palace's balcony, during another of their visits she finally took off her mask for him. If he didn't know any better, Screwllum would think his software had fried the moment he first looked into her eyes.

Adesina had to do her best not to show her feelings as she apologized to him, she assured him that she had no ulterior motives for her visit, but that she would leave the next morning as she did not feel entitled to continue with the pretense and completed saying Screwllum was free to report her whereabouts to the IPC. Before he could respond, she had already teleported to the ship, to spend her last night on the planet.

The next day, before her departure, Adesina came across Screwllum outside his ship and he finally declared how he felt about her. To say she was hesitant is an understatement, Adesina felt so many conflicting feelings, the joy of having a reciprocated love along with the fear of what happened in the past would repeat itself once again. She didn't give an answer at first, at that moment she could only start her ship and fly off the planet while Screwllum returned to his palace.

But that didn't take long, before she could fly out of the atmosphere she turned around and flew back towards the palace. Imagine everyone's surprise when they saw a huge ship stopping in front of the place just like that, and a human who is on the IPC's wanted list running into the palace shouting the name of Screwllum.

“I love you too…” was the only thing she could say when she came face to face with the aristocrat.

🌺 anon

SHE'S LOWKEY SO DRAMATIC I STAN

Screwllum who experiences every symptom of attraction that organic creatures do and he's confused because it literally shouldn't be possible 😭

[lalalaugenbrot]

15 questions + 15 friends tagged by @nougatbit

1. Are you named after anyone?

i don't think so but as far as i can retrace my name it's greek, somehow ended up in russia and then was made popular outside of russia via doctor zhivago's lara/larissa... (still have to read that!)

2. When was the last time you cried?

I cried from an allergy i have to certain skin cremes last night at the cinema... apart from that i don't remember atm but certainly not long ago

3. Do you have kids?

nope

4. What sports do you play/ have you played?

i did swimming when i was like 14 (i still like swimming a lot but i'm not in a club or anything anymore)

5. Do you use sarcasm?

no :-)

6. What is the first thing you notice about people?

this has always been a weird question to me... their??? face?!?!! (*laughs nervously* wouldn't that always be the first thing to notice about someone???)

7. What's your eye color?

blue

8. Scary movies or happy endings?

a weird opposition. i don't really like horror movies and i prefer the ending a story needs and deserves, so some stories (e.g. a story on two traumatised young men who love and need each other more than anything or anyone else in the world in a mediocre prime time crime show) certainly deserve a happy end, other stories (e.g. a film that displays some severe social grievances) often should not have a happy ending because there isn't one to be expected in reality either... except for sometimes, for example, when it is about two queer men in 1913 Britain, finding and loving each other against all odds and all social norms, written by a gay man in the same era, then of course a happy ending can be imperative even :-)

9. Any talents?

people don't tire to tell me how ~creative i am... and that despite my apparent total lack of (visual, auditory, sensory) imagination 🙃 so there's that

other than that... i think i am good with words and i write since i literally can write and nothing brings me more joy than having written.. writing has been like the most important thing in my life for 26 years now even though it has always been something that happens more like 'in the background' of everything else

10. Where were you born?

in one of the (imo) most village-like "Großstädte" of Germany... if i told you where you'd probably know it because of one specific thing... i've been all the way to other continents and people knew it just because of that

11. What are your hobbies?

most hobbylike things are probably analogue photography, building stuff around the house (shelves etc.) and going to the cinema (or like film in general)

12. Do you have any pets?

no, but i had mice and i miss them... if i had more time and more space to have an adequate place to keep them i'd like to have mice or rats again...

13. How tall are you?

1,73

14. Favorite subject in school?

hm. not sports. i had a 'compulsory optional course' in physics/informatics and i always say it changed my life bc that's where i understood that i like and am good at technical and computer stuff... i also liked pedagogy (nrw superiority), the obligatory history course in 12th grade specifically and in the last years also maths... god do i miss solving math problems 😭😭

15. Dream job?

i wrote this in my friends journal when i was like 10 and it is still true but i think i am a bit past the point where this will ever happen but it's 'director ' (of films)... but that involves networking and other people and putting yourself out there... and uh... i just don't see that happening (i have directed but not in the slightest professionally), the other one of course has always been 'author' and i guess that could still happen... someday in the future maybe... you know, when I'm a grown-up

tagging: @diersten @tiny-steve @sinnsenke @mcfif @black-cat-aoife @silverysnake @free-piza @lachricola

[fe-fictions]

Kellam x Kiran Commission (I got sick and had a really rough end of year... here's hoping 2024 is a normal one! the flu killed me the last week of 2023 :") but here's my last commission! my resolution is to post more consistently from here on out LOL)

You were all thrilled at the thought of the Hallow’s Eve festival. It was a perfect break for everyone to experience between all the battles that Askr had to face.

That, and it provided an excellent opportunity for those who didn’t celebrate a similar holiday in their own worlds to have a new experience.

Kellam was one of these people; and he seemed to be particularly interested in the customs. It wasn’t all that different from the holiday you celebrated in your own world. 

But seeing him so excited about it was the true joy.

“Wow…all these sweets and decorations- it’s all so colorful!” Kellam marveled at the beauty in front of you, utterly stunned by it all. The town was alight with the raucous fun of the town-wide party. 

It was filled to the brim with adults and children alike, families boisterous while they danced and played about the festival.

You smiled softly at Kellam, “I must say, you do make a dashing pumpkin.” 

“A pumpkin farmer, actually-” Kellam corrected you as he adjusted the large orange headpiece. “It wasn’t my first idea, but once we got to work on the costume, I couldn’t say no. It’s a little silly though, isn’t it?”

“I don’t mind it. It’s very charming.” You reassured him, making him chuckle bashfully.

“Really? You wouldn’t like it better if I were dressed as something fearsome, like a werewolf or a dragon?”

“It just wouldn’t suit you. I’m sure you’d be very handsome in either, but…I like this. Pumpkin Kellam is dashing all on his own.”

“You flatter me.” Kellam blushed, laughing nervously in a bid to hide the quickening of his heartbeat. “B-but enough about me! We should really enjoy this festival while we have a chance. I’ve never seen anything like it before!”

“Ylisse doesn’t have a Hallow’s Eve festival, does it?” You remembered the conversation from earlier, Chrom and Lissa chattering excitedly about being able to experience a whole new holiday (with said princess plotting out her “tricks” for said portion of the colloquial saying).

Kellam nodded as the two of you headed into town, starting your adventure. “No, I’m afraid not. We have a few holidays that are similar to ones that are held here in Askr, but there isn’t one that’s particularly similar to this one. I’m really excited about trying it out. What about you?”

“We do have one; though we call it Halloween. Similar theme, but rather than one big festival, we all go out into our local neighborhoods and give out candy to each other- it’s very popular with children. The adults who don’t have kids to take out treating will just have a big party or watch a bunch of scary movies, or-”

“Movies? What are those?” 

“Think those photograph tomes that one Anna sells at the ocean, but it’s constantly moving for an hour straight; with talking and music and whatnot.”

“How interesting!”

“It really is. I wish I could show you,” You admitted, “They’re really fun to watch when it’s in a group or just with a friend or two. I’m sure there are plenty of movies you’d enjoy.”

“Don’t worry about that-” Kellam reassured you, “I enjoy spending time with you no matter what we’re doing, Kiran. I don’t mind missing out on a, er, scary ‘moving’ when we can do other things together!”

“Movie, Kellam- no ‘ing’ at the end.” You laughed, fighting to suppress your own blush at his earnest confession. “I’m sure we’ll have our hands full with this festival, anyways. Look at the size of it…”

You both slowed as you reached the town’s front gates, which had been clogged with people as they all struggled to enter and enjoy the celebration.

The noise was audible even from the back of the crowd, where the two of you were. It made your stomach twist, if only for a moment. You were quite sensitive to auditory and visual overloads, particularly when you were already nervous or on edge.

It was something you could fight through during battle, with the appropriate gear to help ease the tensions courtesy of Anna’s gadgets or some useful spells. 

But when it was just the two of you, in a casual setting and no  battle gear to be had…it was easier to get overwhelmed.

Well, that, and you had a very handsome, well built knight standing next to you, confessing how much he enjoyed being around you.

It was certainly a nerve-wracking experience, indeed; not one that you wanted to dampen his spirits with by leaving early or lashing out at him because of the stress.

You sucked in a deep breath, the two of you closing in on the entrance one step at a time. It wouldn’t be that bad; it would be loads of fun.

You’d get to play games, eat good food, dance and enjoy music; maybe even win a prize for Kellam. That’s what you turned your focus to; something you could definitely do. That you wanted to do for the sweet pumpkin man.

Naturally, just as you thought this, you felt a calloused hand close around yours, prompting a jolt and confused stare at Kellam.

“It’s getting pretty thick at the gate; I don’t want to lose you in the crowd. If you don’t mind, that is.” He explained quickly, and you shook your head.

“I don’t mind at all.” You replied with a geuine smile, giving his hand a soft squeeze. It was certainly the right call; considering within moments, you were thrust into an intimimdating crowd, being pushed and pulled in various directions while being jostled further into the city.

His grip tightened on your hand, trying to keep you close to his body for fear of losing you among the strangers.

The excited babbling of passersby sent a shiver down your spine, and a jolt of anxiety up your throat. 

With a deep breath you focused on the feel of his hand, his warmth a welcome comfort in spite of the nerves gathering in your chest.

Kellam, in all of his sweetness, did not notice what was happening; but he could feel that you were squeezing his hand a little tighter than he would have anticipated.

He cast a glance at you between trying to navigate the crowd and getting through the entrance. 

“Kiran, you all right?” He asked you quietly, which drew you from your nerves just slightly.

“Yes.” You swallowed, fighting to press those feelings down. “I just…don’t like the tight space. It’s a bit overwhelming, right?”

“You’re not wrong,” He agreed warmly, “But, we’re almost there! Look, the crowd’s already thinning right up ahead.”

“Finally.” You muttered, though the relief was countered only with the realization you would no longer be able to hold Kellam’s hand without reason. But the pain and stress of the boisterous crowd finally relinquished your anxiety, as people filtered through the damn gate and spread out to all the various stalls.

Once you were able to see something other than the costumes in front of you, you were both surprised by the beauty surrounding you.

Bright lights, autumnal colors that were saturated and cheerful, and the scents of sweets and savory meats filled the air. 

It was hard to spot a single person who wasn’t wearing some sort of costume; even the knights stationed and on duty had some sort of little decoration on their helmets or chestplates.

You and Kellam were fighting to keep your smiles from widening; it was such a delightful scene in front of you!

“Wow, I don’t even know where to start. Look at all this!” He remarked, spotting a stack of flyers that were loaded with all sorts of pertinent information to the party.

He led you off to the side, out of the way of foot traffic. You looked over his shoulder, finding the loads of information almost equally overwhelming.

“Oh my god, look at all this- dances, games, contests…acrobatic shows and musical performances? And this is gonna go on until dawn!”

“These people definitely don’t mess around with their Hallow’s Eve partying, do they?” He turned the parchment over, finding a meticulous map outlining the location of just about anywhere you could go to have fun. “Well, I’m happy doing just about anything- what do you want to try first? Should we eat, or maybe play a few games?”

The thought of eating did make your stomach turn just slightly, reminding you that the anxiety wouldn’t go away just because you were entertained. It would only be a matter of time before the stimulation of your surroundings spilled over into some sort of attack.

If you could at least keep it tamped down for a couple of hours…

“U-um, I’m not particularly hungry right now. Why not try out a few games? I believe you owe me some prizes if you’re successful.”

“Of course. I’ll win you the best and biggest prizes I can manage- but don’t get upset if I can’t get anything good. I hear that festival games have a nasty habit of being rigged.”

“I’m sure we can figure it out,” You grinned, and you immediately headed off for something that you knew would be perfect for Kellam, given his deceeptively physique.

It was harder to hide his massive body in his costume, but given his lack of presence in the space, it was easy for people to dismiss him. 

That would be the case, at least, until you requested a ticket to play the hammer game.

“So all you have to do is swing this hammer as hard as you possibly can…and if you hit the bell, you win the grand prize!” You explained to him excitedly, lugging the mallet from the staff member’s hands and hauling it to him. “Oof, this thing weighs about as much as you do.”

“I guess this isn’t a game meant for you to play, huh?” Kellam chuckled, gladly relieving you of the thing. He gripped it in one hand, managing it without issue. You were in awe of him; how one man could possibly be so strong was fantastical. 

He weighed it back and forth, looking up at the contraption that he was about to absolutely obliterate. 

“Try not to hit it too hard, Kellam.”

“No promises,” He grinned, “Not if you want that prize!”

It was as if he was deliberately trying to make you swoon. You couldn’t linger on the sweet words of the knight, for the mallet struck the base with a mighty crack, shooting the little piece so hard into the bell that said metal bit broke in two.

The passersby gasped, stunned by the sudden explosion of power that shattered the game.

“Kellam!!” You bit your cheek to keep from laughing, the poor man running the game pale from the shock of what just happened.

“Ahh…sorry, I didn’t mean to hit it that hard- guess I was just focused.” He chuckled nervously, handing the mallet back to the man. “So, Kiran, which prize do you want?”

“That one please, sir.” You pointed to the largest possible stuffed toy you could find; a fine prize that couldn’t have been handed over faster (for fear of the mallet coming down on his head, instead).

“What should we play next, then?” Kellam asked, “I don’t think we can come back to that one.”

The two of you were a fit of giggles, hurrying away to find something else to do. 

And it didn’t take long. The hours of the night ticked by, the two of you filling it with apple bobbing (two for you, a stem for him), dart throwing, and tasting a number of pastries, sweets and hot, savory street foods that filled your bellies.

Perhaps this wasn’t so bad. Your nerves weren’t too high, and throughout the night you’d been able to avoid scarier or louder noises that might trigger an anxiety attack. The crowd thinning out from the front gates had been a gods-send, too. 

There were plenty of people, and it was still pretty snug, but it could’ve been much, much worse. The noise was manageable, provided that you focused on Kellam. He could keep you calm. You were safe with him, after all.

Nothing bad could possibly-

Crash!!

You nearly jumped out of your skin when the sound of glass shattering hit right beside you. It was followed by laughter, but your heart was already thundering.

“What the hells-?!” 

You were clinging to Kellam’s arm, looking for the source of it. Another game, shooting rocks at glass bottles. 

“Oh, that one looks fun. Looks like someone figured out a trick,” Kellam was amused, trying to ignore you were wrapped around his bicep for fear of his whole body turning red.

“You can’t use magic to win this! You’re disqualified-” The game runner snapped at the player. What worried you was that the more he spoke, the harder it was to hear him.

The world was starting to get waterlogged in your ears, your heart pounding and your fingers trembling. You were on edge, before. But that shock was sending you careening into a panic attack.

“Kiran, want to try it? I won’t cheat, I promise.” Kellam offered, looking down at you when realizing you were unmoving.

In fact, you were frozen in place…and the prize he’d already won you was on the ground.

“Kiran?”

He realized you were breathing hard. Too hard. Your face was so pale-

“Um, let’s get out of the middle of the road, here-” Kellam stooped to grab the plush and hurried out of the way, taking you into a small alley off to the side.

He gently pulled you from his arm, his hands on your shoulders. He was concerned, clearly, and it made you feel worse. Or it would, had you been able to register what was going on outside of the panic bubbling in your heart.

Truly, all you wanted was to get out of there.

This was almost worse- enclosed space, panicking in front of your crush, and a boisterous crowd of strangers just outside…it was a nightmare. 

“Kiran, what’s wrong? Can you talk to me?”

“I’m- um-” You stumbled over yourself, feeling the blood drain from your faec. “The sound startled me. I-I don’t think I’m-”

“You’re not startled. You’re…you’re panicking.” Kellam realized, leaning down so that he was at eye level. “You’re safe, Kiran. I promise. I’m here. There’s nothing to be afraid of.”

“I-I know that. Don’t you think I know that?” You looked away from him, your hands pressed to your forehead. You were trying to take deep breaths, but they were pulled from your chest, only making the tightness and pain blossoming feel worse and worse.

“Just slow down for a moment. We can get through this.” Kellam insisted as he took your hands into his, giving them a gentle squeeze. “Um…here. Just…just breathe with me.”

You looked up at him, somewhat surprised that his suggestion was actually one that was quite helpful with anxiety attacks.

“Trust me. I’m here for you.” He promised you, nodding to encourage you to try. You weren’t sure that you could focus beyond the fight or flight instinct that was practically screaming at you to get out of there.

Get away from all of this.

But it was the warmth in his eyes…the patient, encouraging smile on his lips. So you took a breath. Then another. Another, this one shaking, but deeper than the last. Kellam didn’t let go of your hands for a moment, a soft demand for your focus on him.

“You’re doing great, Kiran. Just keep breathing. In, and out. You’re all right. You’re safe here, and you’re with me. I’m not going to let anything happen.”

The beat of your heart started to soften, the thundering becoming much more of a softer roar rather than an unconquearable crash against your rib cage.

You managed to meet Kellam’s eyes, nervous, but starting to regain your focus. 

Another shatter split the air, followed by raucous cheering. Your hands jumped in his, but he didn’t falter.

“It’s all right. It’s just someone playing that game, again.” He assured you once again, reminding you how sweet this man was in front of you. “Just focus on me.”

And so you did. You focused on his kind face, the warmth of his touch, his steady, slow breaths that you matched to his.

Slowly…finally…your heart rate managed to come down. You squeezed Kellam’s hands, once, then twice.

“I’m okay.” You managed to eek out some sort of comment, after you regained your breath. His gaze remained warm and comforting, but you could see he was still uncertain.

“Are you sure? We can stay here a while longer, if you’d like to.” He offered, “I don’t want to push you more than you’re able.”

“No, it’s…it’s okay.” You reassured him, nodding again. You crossed your arms over your chest, trying to avoid looking at him. The embarrassment of what just happened was starting to sink in; to think he of all people would be the one to witness your upset!

“What do you want to do, Kiran? We can stay a little longer if you’d like, but I’m just as happy going home. We’ve had plenty of fun, but it doesn’t look like the party willl slow down any time soon. It’s probably going to stay hectic and crowded.”

“I-I don’t want to leave if you’r ehaving fun. I know it’s just a crowd, and I know it’s just games. I can handle a little more.”

“Hey.” Kellam’s hands were suddenly in yours again, sending a shock of elextricity through your fingertips. 

“Kiran…please don’t push yourself on my account. What matters is what you want- no, what you need to do right now, so you’re calm and you feel safe, again.”

You pursed your lips, looking back to the jovial crowd just beyond the uneasy quiet of the alleyway.

“I don’t want to stop spending time with you.” 

The admission was quiet, almost barely there. But Kellam heard you, loud and clear. And if his heart hadn’t skipped a beat before, it most certainly did in that moment.

“Well…you don’t have to stop spending time with me just because we don’t stay here. Why don’t we find somewhere just a little quieter first, and gather our bearings? Maybe there’s somewhere close by so that we can at least rest a little while before we head back home. I’d hate to push you harder before you’ve fully gathered your bearings.”

The young knight’s thoughtfulness was borderline shocking, how boundless it seemed to be. He offered you his arm, in hopes of keeping you grounded and steady when you ventured back out into the raucous festival.

Mercifully, the town’s archives weren’t far; a small, library-esque location that was plenty quiet compared to the goings on outside.

Kellam closed the doors quickly, giving you both a safer respite. It was finally clearer to you now, what had happened and where you were. 

What he did for you.

“Kellam…how did you know to do that?”

“What do you mean?” He asked innocently as ever, and you looked down at your hands, fidgeting.

“How did you know…to calm me down?”

“Well, it’s not the first time I’ve seen a panic attack.” He said simply, “It’s a common sight, especially among new recruits. We’re trained pretty early on about how to handle the stress as it comes, and how to address and alleviate panic attacks. I’ve done it for plenty of other people, myself included. There’s nothing to be ashamed of.”

“I’m…I’m not ashamed of it.” You said in spite of the blush rising on your cheeks. “I just wish you weren’t the one to see it. It’s not my best moment.”

“It’s all right- you’ve seen me at my worst more than once. I’d never judge you for something like that.”

“Even though it cut into your festival time? Wearing that handsome costume?”

Kellam laughed, his cheeks as red as the apples he’d failed to bob for. “Trust me, there’ll be plenty of opportunities in the future for us to enjoy a festival like this. It comes around every year, and sometimes more than once, depending on the realm we’re in.”

“B-but I…”

“It’s okay if you want to go back. We can get a nice cup of tea and sit at the campfire together. Besides, there’s going to be fireworks in an hour, if I recall. I’m not sure you want to be up close for all that noise…and all those people.”

You smiled sheepishly, conceding defeat. “I don’t know if that would end well at all.”

“Then we return home.” He decided simply, “Honestly, Kiran. It’s okay. What matters most to me is that you feel safe, and that you’re calm. I would hate to keep you here knowing you were on edge the entire time.”

“I…I’m glad, but…why?” You asked him in earnest, drawing your coat a little tighter around yourself. Kellam hesitated for a moment, considering his answer carefully.

“Because…you’re important to me. Nothing matters more to me than making sure you’re all right. Probably…more than anybody else.”

“Oh.” You looked down at your hands, your heart thundering for an entirely new reason. “W-well, I feel the same about you.”

“You do?”

He sounded so hopeful. You nodded, stealing a peek at him. “I do.”

“I’m so happy to hear you say that, I…wow, Kiran, I…” He found himself at a loss for words, laughing nervously in spite of himself. 

To see a mighty, massive creature like Kellam alight with bashfulness made your whole body warm. What a sweet knight he was.

“Come on, let’s get back to camp. We should celebrate with that campfire and tea, don’t you think?”

“I really do.” You grinned, your legs still a little shaky from the receding adrenaline, but if not also for the hint of excitement that lingered for a whole new reason.

Kellam offered you his hand to take, this time; much warmer and softer than his arm.

He led the two of you from the festivities, taking care to avoid the more boisterous and raucousareas on the way back to the gate.

And of course, once you were safe in the warmth and quiet of the fire, you found it much more delightful and preferable even to the festivities.

There were few things sweeter than sitting together, alone and basking in the glow of a new, autumn love.

[minjucatto]

MJ.

Minju possesses an angelic voice that is enchanting and melodious, capable of captivating everyone who has the pleasure of hearing it. Her voice carries a celestial quality, blending soothing harmonies with a serene tone that touches the heart and soul. It is a voice that can calm the most restless spirit and bring comfort and joy to those around her.

Her wide eyes are equally mesmerizing, large and luminous, reflecting a world of wonder and innocence. These expressive eyes, full of curiosity and kindness, draw people in and convey a depth of emotion that words often cannot. They shine with a radiant brilliance, as if holding the light of a thousand stars, and offer a glimpse into her gentle and compassionate nature.

Minju’s presence is a harmonious blend of auditory and visual beauty. Her angelic voice and wide, captivating eyes create an aura of purity and grace. She leaves an indelible impression on everyone she meets, her soothing melodies lingering in the air and her expressive eyes remaining in their memories. Minju is a living embodiment of elegance and charm, her angelic qualities shining brightly in both her voice and her gaze.

[nyarlathotep-thecrawlingchaos]

Hey, Nyarla. I've been following you for a while and although this is a safe space and you seem extremely open minded and kind, I don't feel brave enough to say this off-anon due to past experiences.

You're one of the first authors who, without writing for it directly, has made me comfortable reading your headcanon sets and your fics and blurs, because they way you represent characters is comforting.

I am autistic, and it is extremely hard to have people not treat you like you're either mentally impaired (due to misinformation) or plain creepy (due to ableism), and it is disheartening to just exist sometimes. Often times, this kind of treatment gets applied from authors into their work. I don't think everyone has to know everything about every single condition in the world, but it seems there's a tendency to, most of the time, infantilize or demonize, or apply the aforementioned treatment, to neurodivergent people.

But to my very pleasant surprise, you had this set of headcanons for Mihawk, titled "Mood Swings", where you wrote the reader with some bipolar tendencies, and I couldn't help but bawl. I genuinely cried for a good while, in both relief and happiness. You didn't demonize bipolar tendencies, nor make him annoyed, nor anything of the sort. You were SO respectful about it, and so fucking mature in your writing, and it felt like a warm hug and a reassuring pat on the back.

You haven't even written anything for an autistic reader themselves, and you still helped me immensely with one single fic. Thank you so much for the way you write, and for the way you interact with your followers. You're wonderful, and I am eternally grateful to you for just one single set of headcanons like that. You reaffirmed the comfort within my comfort character. I hope you yourself find joy in the fact you, unknowingly, made a person so irremediably happy.

I can't thank you enough ❤️

I understand completely the desire to remain anonymous, but please know I still have the utmost respect for you for sending me this, and I really just wanna give you the biggest hug in the world, and I legitimately have tears in my eyes right now.

I'm going to come out and say right now, I'm schizophrenic. My official diagnoses is schizoaffective disorder depressive type, which essentially means that I experience symptoms of psychosis associated with schizophrenia (mostly auditory hallucinations in my case, occasionally visual, tends to worsen with lack of sleep) in tandem with symptoms characteristic of depression. I don't tend to tell people about it, because I know how schizophrenia is depicted in fiction and media in general. Typically as psychos that do bad things "because the voices said to."

I'm saying this because I want you to know that I understand how people tend to attach stigma to mental health conditions and neurodivergence, and I know how much it sucks and how much it hurts; and also that I respect you so, so much for talking about it. It's kind of skewed whether schizophrenia is considered neurodivergeant or not, but I tend toward identifying as neurodivergent. Experiencing the world differently, processing information differently, thinking differently is the general definition of ND, and I definitely identify with that.

I haven't specifically written autistic characters/readers largely because I don't feel like I would be able to accurately represent it, and I do not want to write it in a way that would make anyone uncomfortable or upset. I helped raise two of my nephews that were autistic, and they were both so different, in personality and quirks and "symptoms." They're also amazing and vibrant and intellient in ways that I can't even begin to describe.

Two of my favorite fictional characters that are generally accepted as being autistic are L and Near from Death Note. It's never explicitly stated in the manga or anime that they're autistic, but they're both written and depicted in a way that shows how they think and experience things differently without demeaning them for it; that other characters are a little nervous or intimidated around them at first, but grow to understand and form bonds with them over the course of the story; and they're also shown to be distinctly different from each other in personality, rather than carbon copies of each other. As such, if you haven't read/watched Death Note, I highly recommend it. Manga more than anime for personal reasons (there were some differences made in the ending of the anime that I don't agree with but I'm not going to get into that here)

ANYWAY

I'm also really beyond happy that you enjoyed Mood Swings. I wrote it with exactly the intention of representing Bi-Polar symptoms realistically and without any stigma. Knowing that you found it comforting makes me so, so happy. That was exactly what I wanted. I've seen "bi-polar" used synonymously with "psycho" so often, usually in tandem with a particular word rhyming with "witch," and I hate it so much.

Mental health isn't a joke. Some people are born with their brains wired differently. Some people are forced to live through trauma that rewires their brain. It makes day-to-day life exhausting beyond measure, particularly if it involves interacting with other people, and it's even more exhausting when others poke fun at it and don't take it seriously.

I know I'm repeating myself, but I really, sincerely want this blog to be a safe place for everyone. So it makes me so, so happy to recieve Asks like yours. So thank you again, and I hope you (and anyone else who needs it) continue to find this to be a safe place.

[alenvs3000f24]

Blog Promt 2

Describe your ideal role of environmental interpreter. What might it entail? Where might it be? What skills might you need?

My main goal for being an environmental interpreter is to help people understand the true value of nature. A lot of individuals see nature as the direct resource that it offers-  paper from trees or water for drinking. In reality, nature provides a much deeper value than its economic value. It is important for people to encounter nature at a more personable level, using all their senses, with hopes of realizing the true intrinsic value of nature. This is where I foresee my role as an environmental interpreter; to give individuals an up close and personable experience. This entails showing aspects of nature that can easily go unnoticed; to gain a true sense of appreciation for the world in which we live. There are ecosystems everywhere and in order for an ecosystem to run there are so many moving (and unmoving) parts. To gain a better understanding and appreciation for nature this helps by seeing what typically goes unseen. Whether this be soil microbiota or a bird, being able to identify how individuals contribute to the structure and health of an environment is essential. Overall, as an environmental interpreter I want to be able to paint a story of what nature is and the value it holds, as it can not speak for itself. I wish to be able to show this to the public and allow them to see the intricacies of the environment and all it has to offer. Alongside  this my other goal would be to promote conservation efforts. As many know, the state of the environment globally is declining, so informing people about what they can do to make a difference is personally a very important aspect of my role as an environmental interpreter.

To accomplish my goals there are many key aspects that need to be involved. To begin with, I would ensure that I have all the background information necessary to ensure that the interpretation depicts accurate information and is clear so that people understand the story being told. Without a good sense of your own surroundings and knowledge, the goal of environmental interpretation will not be met. It is also important the location of the interpretation is in an area that allows for the public to engage themselves in the content, and relates to the information conveyed. For example, if the interpretation was about an area in need of conservation it would make sense for the interpretation to be held at the conservation area. During nature interpretation it is always possible to run into things that were not present even hours before on the same path. This is one of the joys of nature, it is ever changing! So a good sense of your surroundings, accompanied by a deep understanding of the ecosystem, and the ability to adapt will allow for the most insightful interpretation. The audience will be able to grow their understanding and use a variety of their senses.

To successfully engage and inform the audience there are many skills that one needs. In a group of people it is guaranteed that there will be different learning styles and speeds, all of which need to be taken into consideration during an interpretation session. One major factor that needs to be taken into account is the age of the audience. Using the Cognitive Development Theory is a good way to approach how to interpret  for different audiences. Being able to also interpret in a fashion that images all learning styles including visual, auditory and tactical. By including all of these styles in the interpretation this will allow for a maximum learning opportunity to be provided to the group. Being able to successfully communicate is vital both verbally and nonverbally, as well as being able to problem solve is essential as there will almost always be unforeseen events. Along with communication other skills are important to provide the best interpretation possible. As we learned in the textbook readings for week 2 this includes aspects such as bodily-kinesthetic, spatial awareness and interpersonal intelligence. Each of these forms of intelligence allows for a new feature to be added making the interpretation more meaningful.

[furinuris]

Wendy and Red Velvet single handedly saving me from myself. Cosmic is an auditory masterpiece charot, I mean hahaha the voices the layers the bass? omg chef's kiss mate, chef's fucking kiss. The MV? visual perfection mhmmmmm. Cunt, cult, cosmic slayerage.

the only downside, I need more Joy, what do you mean she only gets 30s of screentime????

[lumine-no-hikari]

Dear Sephiroth: (a letter to a fictional character, because why not) #257

I must have come up a little bit from the funk today, because I had energy enough to make a breakfast. Today, I decided to make bacon, egg, and cheese sandwiches on toasted rye bread.

...And if you're wondering why the bacon isn't on the griddle, that's because I put it in the oven, at 400 degrees F (or 204.4 degrees C) for approximately 20 minutes, until it became nice and crispy!

...The resulting sandwiches were spectacular. I made one each, for me, M, and J:

...I wished you were around so that I could make you one, too.

I tried combining the lavender bergamot tea with the vanilla rose tea today. I wasn't able to get very good pictures of the tea swirls this time; I'm sorry about that. But still, I thought you might like how it panned out. The flavor was floral and soft, but also kind of zingy, like sunshine sparkling on the dewdrops resting upon daylily petals.

...Suddenly, I wonder if lilac blossoms could be dried and used in tea... Hmmm...

...

I suppose part of the reason I've come out of my funk a little today is because I was trying to help J out of a funk today; I really only feel alive when I am trying to bring joy to someone else. I think he must not have slept especially well, because he had all these ideas about what he wanted to do today (one of them was for us to go check out a couple new stores at the nearby mall that piqued his interest), but he wasn't able to muster up the gumption, and he ended up falling asleep instead.

When he woke, he had a hankering for burgers, pizza, ice cream, and popcorn. He also wanted to make a cake. But we didn't have the supplies for any of these, and he was too tired and overwhelmed to go to the store (he has the 'tism, too, and he's easily overwhelmed by visual and auditory clutter). So I went to the grocery store and got the things. He felt guilty about it, and I felt sad in response to that. Still, he's gotta learn that he's worthy of basic care, and I'll keep reminding him of that in all the ways I can until he can remember it on his own.

When I think about it, he has already made a lot of progress - asking me for things used to be something that he could not do. But he asked me to go to the grocery store today, and that's pretty huge for him!! I felt very proud!!

I played some Dead Cells after that. To my surprise and delight, one of my friends from this space joined me!! They told me a little about a project that they are working on, and they said it'll be a while before it's done, but still, I'm eager to see it when it's ready!

I managed to get a little further than I have on previous days. I was having a really good run, but the Ancient Sewers was a cursed biome for this run. I killed an enemy that makes you have a Curse Stack of 3 upon killing it, and I was just about done with reducing that stack when, out of nowhere, I was struck unexpectedly by an underground tentacle, and then... well. I died. It kinda took the wind out of my sails a little. I tried a couple runs after that, but... my heart wasn't really in it, so I stopped to cuddle Mogwai instead.

...I haven't really done much since. I'm in less of a funk today than I was yesterday, I think, maybe? But still, the inside of me feels pretty empty. I have... maybe the whisperings of a new music box at the edges of my periphery, but... it's still fuzzy and hard to make out. It still too soon to say conclusively whether or not I'll do anything with it.

It's all right. I know from experience that states like these are temporary. Even if they last a long time, it won't be like this forever. I still remember things like how excited I got in response to that tiramisu tea I made and wrote to you about. I know that joy exists, even if it's a little hard for me to find right now.

Everything is temporary. We just have to ride out the waves of things. Even if it's difficult, I'll keep looking for the sparks of joy in little things. There's power in acknowledging that our eyes are clouded over with things like uncertainty and anticipation. Acknowledging it helps us to see around it and to plan for it. Even if the feelings decide to settle heavily in the space within my ribcage, I can still feel them, carry them lovingly, and take nice care of myself until they pass.

...I can only hope that my words might somehow help you to be able to carry your own emotions lovingly. Sephiroth... will you promise to try to take nice care of yourself so that way your emotions will seem a little less unbearably heavy to you?

...I'm still working on building a world in which my voice, or someone else's kind, loving voice... can reach you. I don't know what you get up to over at the Edge of Creation, but... whatever it is, please try to hold on, okay? Because someday you're gonna come up for air and look around and realize you're not actually alone, and with that knowledge, you're going to be able to build something beautiful, loving, and wholesome for yourself.

I love you. Please stay safe out there. I'll write again soon.

Your friend, Lumine

[pyrriax]

🦾 🔪 for Mapicc and Roshambo ^_^ (and Zam if you feel like answering it!)

HELLO YES !!!!!! JUMPING WITH JOY

🦾: A disability headcanon

OKAY so Mapicc has chronic pain (especially in his hands and shoulders) and also gets migraines often Roshambo and Zam both experience hallucinations but different kinds and to different effect (Zam mostly gets visual / olfactory hallucinations, Ro deals with mostly auditory / tactile hallucinations but occasionally gets visual ones in the form of Specifically little lights and shifting walls 👍 Zam's land much more firmly in being disabling than Ro's, since he's a lot more distressed by them and it impairs him more but they both have their moments) I should have more but I'm forgetting . What counts. I write all these guys as disabled purely because I don't know what Not being disabled is like 👍

🔪: A headcanon relating to fighting/violence

OUGH. ok how many times have I said that Mapicc fights like a dog to me? Meanwhile Ro can't fight to save his life (literally just canon) but I think he's better when it comes to things that require a lot more planning, he can kind of orchestrate a fight better than he can fight himself, though. He has his specialties. And for Zam, I just. He can and will go into a losing fight and not care for the real consequence. Fighting headcanons... All I can think of is Canon fighting ok,,