suicide cw
look i have been in this area before mentally. it sucks and i wouldn’t wish this on anyone. but, and this is going to sound callous, but i don’t feel any sympathy for james somerton. even if i hope he’s like. not dead. But thats all the amount of goodwill im willing to give him. The more i think about this really, the more angry i am.
ngl this entire situation is another example of how white people weaponize their mental illness to avoid consequences. Im seeing it in real time.
this man has a continuous habit of using self-harm as a get-out-of-jail-for-free card. in both of his apologies, he has worded his supposed attempts in ways that were clearly meant to guilt people who displayed his plagiarism and overall horrendous history of racism and misogyny. i say supposed because, while i’m not saying those are lies and this would he such a fucked up thing to lie about that i don’t want to think he has, unfortunately, it’s been proven again and again that his word can’t be trusted, as he’s known to lie to try get out of consequences. Hes a proven liar. him lying about this is actually the best case scenario, because no one should go through this entire situation, wouldnt wish this on anyone, but you can only do this so often before people stop sympathizing with you. is this callous? Yeah, but like. I’m actually fucking angry he cant straight up take no as an answer. that this is how he reacts realizing he cant be one of the Cool Kidz™️ on youtube anymore. he acts like he DESERVES a career, like its not a privilege hes lost due to his own actions.
He lied about apologizing and forgiving people, he lied about giving the money to hbomberguy to give to ppl he ripped off (yknow, instead of doing it himself), he lied about the jessie gender situation and rewrote the narrative to make it so he isnt the bad guy, and hes the victim all along actually!
you can’t tell me that supposed last message of his isn’t meant to be a 13 reasons why esq attempt to deflect the blame “look i’m going to kill myself and it’s all YOUR PEOPLES FAULT for not letting me achieve my DREAM of being filmmaker IN PEACE!!! I just wanted Nick’s (the guy who I have thrown under the bus again and again) portfolio up!! Im just being a good friend dont you all FEEL BAD” he refuses to take ANY ACCOUNTABILITY of any of his actions and he IS STILL trying to shove the blame over to other people again.
it’s also pretty ironic people are like “uhhh well hbomber’s fans harassed him!!!” like hbomber outright told people NOT to HARASS JAMES!!! ALSO acting as if james doesn’t have a very real documented history of STRAIGHT UP sending his fans to harass and threaten smaller creators, more notably women, trans, and bipoc creators. especially after he’s stolen typically very personal anecdotes so he could profit from them. so why can he do it but the second people are like “hey this guys an actual piece of shit.” and he can’t handle it suddenly people are trying to white knight his shit? like no he doesn’t get that. he doesn’t get that at all just because he couldn’t handle the consequences of his actions.
what? were supposed to stay quiet about a man profiting off of other minorities because he wanted to be the spokesman for all gay people? people tried to solve this on a smaller, more private scales for YEARS and he kept doing it. it was clear that the giant public video was the ONLY way to get people to notice. HE WOULDVE GOTTEN AWAY WITH STEALING 87 FUCKING THOUSANDS WORTH OF DOLLARS. HE CANT HANDLE THE FACT HE CANT GET AWAY WITH IT.
am i supposed to feel bad for the guy who basically threatened a trans woman with the police? i don’t care what anyone says, it’s so fucking obvious that he threatened jessie by implying he was getting the police involved in their conflict. what am i supposed to act like that didn’t happen? are we supposed to pretend like he didn’t glorify nazi’s and outright said that gay people made up a good chunk of the nazis? That he didnt say america joined ww2 bc they were jealous of the NAZIS. WHAT WOULD POSSESS YOU TO FUCKING SAY THAT. but then? He gives women (not even women most of the time, he misgenders nonbinary ppl constantly) shit for writing mlm. are we supposed to act like he doesn’t straight-up sees himself superior and better than people of color and steals their works to put himself on a pedestal? Are we supposed to act like he didnt spit on our elders by saying “only the boring gays survived aids” like man! Fuck you! He BLANTANTLY MAKES UP HISTORY TO PUT HIMSELF ON A PEDESTAL!! HE ACTIVELY TRIED TO REWRITE LGBT HISTORY TO SUIT HIS FUCKED UP NARRATIVES!
yes this sucks ! no one deserves this but no one should be making him a martyr. Thats what he fucking WANTS! He wants to be immortalized as a victim!! (again, supposedly, it was reported hes alive but its not confirmed).
The shit he got isnt near the amount of fucking callous behavior hes done again and again. Again, to drill this point, EVEN IF HE DIDNT CALL THE POLICE HE THREATENED A TRANS WOMAN INTO THINKING HE DID!!! The fact he tried to use a head injury to justify years of the outright ghoulish shit fucking astounds me. Why the fuck did anyone in his life thought it was a good idea to let him TRY to come back. in the end, he had options. he didn’t need to try to make a comeback. HE DIDNT NEED TO FUCKING LIE OR IGNORE THE SHIT HE WAS CALLED OUT ON the reality is, he wanted to come back thinking he could shove it under the rug, was told that no dude, you’re not allowed to be a youtuber anymore. you’re done. you need to move on and went full nuclear. it’s not on anyone’s hands but his own. HES BEEN DOING THIS TO HIMSELF!! But nah man we cant call his shit out bc hell may or may not kill himself. Fuck the other minorities who have the same issues but worse and sometimes BECAUSE of him. This is going to SUCKKKK so bad when other ppl, specifically white gays, are going to weaponize this shit to get away with their stuff.
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thinking about this little ficlet i wrote back in february for the worst timeline sans vee -- basic premise being luz escapes belos in the human realm and is reunited with camila, hunter survives his execution and finds her months later, luz is Very Happy to have her best friend back from the dead. (thereby making it not really the worst timeline at all anymore.)
mainly today i'm thinking about camila having no idea what The Fuck is going on. in the ficlet she assumes hunter is a human with an odd case of stahl's ear and oculocutaneous albinism & she's trying to match him to early-aughts missing children's cases. and not having any luck there. for obvious reasons
so i started picturing a slightly more fraught conversation between her and luz.... camila being just as careful and loving as she always is, but also being like. I Really Do Need To Know Who This Specific Boy Is. and luz being like. i am not even Remotely well enough to explain my whole nightmare fantasy princess deal. even if you would believe me. which you Absolutely would not.
so camila is like. i've been trying to find his family but i'm having trouble....
and then when luz Freezes, she's like.
....he wasn't kidnapped, was he?
by which she means "if he's your captor's son then he's less likely to have been reported missing when locked with you in a torture basement. this has no impact on my feelings about him as a person but Does affect what kind of phone calls i need to make"
but what luz THINKS she means is "he was Clearly in on the abuse and i am Going to throw him out. and/or get him hurt by the human police."
and. to say luz would not respond well to this would be.... well. an understatement!
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Taken care of - Cyno
Warnings n tags: f!reader, bad pun, academics, biologist!reader, amurta!reader, dendro vision!reader, fluff, pure cute, first fic ever, not proofread, selfship coded, dont think readers appearance is specified except for being ‘soft’ and in worse physical condition than Cyno
Note: I just needed this out of my system, it is the first time I’ve ever written a fic, so if you actually read it, please expect nothing! Also, minors DNI
Word count: 1200
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It was your first time venturing further into the desert than Aaru village, and you had honestly been dreading this trip ever since it became clear that you would have to go on it. The scorching heat almost made you wish that you could've either kept your big mouth shut or at the very least swallowed your pride. All you had wanted was to pick a poorly understood subject for your thesis, being an Amurta student, you'd practically had your ears cried full of withering zones and the different families of fungi. And you'd had enough of that, not wanting to spend your entire life studying some obscure detail just for your research to be 'new'. So you'd pitched an idea to your supervisor, you wanted to investigate what effect proximity to an oasis had on the evolutionary path of scarabs. After some bickering back and forth, they had agreed to let you pursue this, but under the condition that you were willing to change subject if you'd made no substantial progress within two months. It had now been one month and the only discovery you'd made was, that the litterature on scarabs, or anything from the desert, was sparse at best. And that's how you ended here, boots full of sand, dry skin, probably a good sunburn, and more than a little bitter. But samples wouldn't collect themselves!
Luckily, your protective boyfriend had offered to escort you, not liking the thought of anyone else being responsible for your safety. Of course, as soon as the rumor that the General Mahamatra was taking leave to escort a student around the desert started spreading, you were met with more than a little malice from your peers.
The first morning you woke to an unfamiliar sight, what appeared to be an Eremite standing with their back towards you, Cyno's jackal helmet laying discarded in the sand.
"What did you do to the white haired man? Speak, or I will set you ablaze!"
"A single night, and already my precious flower has turned into a cactus" As always, Cyno's voice was even, but you had known him far too long to not notice the subtle hint of amusement in his tone. When he turned to face your, the satisfied smirk he wore only fueled your annoyance at his antics.
"And what would you have done if I had not bothered asking but simply attacked?"
"My flower, you have a dendro vision, explain to me how you plan on setting me ablaze? Besides, I do feel confident in my ability to dodge a sleepy student in uneven terrain." He winked at you while motioning at the sand between where you were sitting and where he stood.
"Fine. Just warn me before you pull such a tasteless prank again"
"This? No.. I.. I mean... I heard what they were saying behind your back. This way, you can say that your escort was just another mercenary." You noticed a light dusting of pink reach his cheeks, and with that all your irritation dissipated.
The second day went smoothly, Cyno surprisingly being able to guide you to many groupings of scarabs, sheepishly explaining that he had always found them fascinating.
By the third day, you were both tired. Cyno kept insisting that he would keep watch for most of the night so that you could be well rested for your fieldwork. He was undoubtedly hiding it better than you, but the slight drag of his feet as you walked towards the next observation spot gave him away. That and how he had been cursing at his hair for getting in his eyes all morning. You couldn't help but giggle at the memory of the oh-so-dignified General Mahamatra fumbling about in the morning sun, swatting at his hair while threatening to cut it off unless it behaved. He had undoubtedly thought you asleep.
"If you have breath to spare on laughing, we should be going faster" his voice sounded like he had been inhaling sand instead of air. You couldn't help the whine that left your lips at the thought of your already tired legs picking up the pace.
"Cynoooo, I'm just a feeble scholar, I wasn't made for field work". This statement caused him to stop dead in his tracks and turn around with a wicked grin.
"Really? Because in my experience -" You cut him off by slapping a hand over his mouth, already knowing his next words, feeling how dry his lips had become from the desert air. Looking into his eyes, his exhaustion became increasingly clear to you. He'd been working himself half to death before going with you, and this clearly wasn't the break you had hoped it would be for him.
"We are stopping at the next oasis we reach. Research be damned, I need a rest"
You plopped down with your back against a palm, closing your eyes and relishing in the shade the overhanging leaves provided. As you opened your eyes, a deep frown settled on your lips, there your idiot was, standing guard in the sun. Gently pressing a hand to the trunk behind you, you decided to not give him the opportunity of refusing a rest. The roots sprung to life and crept towards your beloved General. In one fell swoop they wrapped around his ankles and pulled, causing him to fall to the ground. He merely let out an exasperated groan and did his best to flip onto his back to avoid getting a mouthful of sand. As he came to rest with his head in your lap the roots gently untangled themselves from his golden skin and disappeared back into the sandy ground. You wasted no time gaining access to his white mane of hair as you started gently scratching at his scalp. Cyno almost purred at the action, letting his eyes remain closed, it was almost obscene to watch as his face contorted until a peaceful expression finally settled in his features.
"You are a wicked, wicked woman" he couldn't fight the smile on his lips even as he tried to sound stern. Your only response was a soft kiss to his cheek, only serving to have him melt further into your soft form.
"If anyone sneaks up on us I am blaming you" this time his tone was more serious, but with the sleepy expression on his face you only rolled your eyes at him and mumbled a quick apology.
"Worry not General, I'll keep watch while you rest" as you gave him a final pat on the head, you moved to get up, only to be met with Cyno holding you down with an impressive amount of strength given his state. A hand snaked up your body and closed around one of your breasts, giving it a gentle squeeze.
"Don't go, it seems we have plenty of securi-titty"
You plopped back down in utter shock, remaining completely quiet.
"Ahem. You see, I took the words security and ti-" You cut him off with a loud snort followed by laughter.
"It seems you will be to blame if we are ambushed General" Your amused tone made his ears take on a reddish tint. Cyno looked up at you with eyes full of adoration.
"For this, I am willing to take the chance of being caught unaware" He grabbed your hips and pulled until you were laying next to eachother. After a little while in silence Cyno's breathing evened out and you smiled to yourself in satisfaction.
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So I just went through the entire Fulcrum AU tag, which, fucking amazing work dude.
But I’m curious about something, how did Ingo react immediately after Akari got banished? I know when I played it I kept running from Cyllene and shouting for Ingo. Lots of Dad!Ingo fics mean you latch on quickly when one roleplays lmao
okay so first of all look what ray on ao3 wrote for me. i love it i love it i love it i love it i love it i lo-
(based on that one drawing where ingo's metaphorically ripping kamado and new one, after the man had banished akari)
anyway. he doesn't actually know what happens, other than the sky's gone Bad, until he suddenly comes across Akari curled up in a ball and crying.
but, uh. Once he realizes!! he immediately brings akari to a safe place first and foremost. probably sneasler's den. and once she's asleep he makes his way to Jubilife. chews kamado out. goes back to akari. etc.
he is Very angry. but not angry enough that he doesn't make sure akari is safe, first.
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I was so lucky growing up. I had to move a lot, so I never had a childhood home, but I always had a roof over my head.
We ate a lot of Kraft dinner, Ramen noodles, but my mom made a home cooked dinner with meat and vegetables and gravy at least once a week if not more, sometimes almost every night. That is incredible. I was fed.
One thing we consistently had to sacrifice was heat. I was always cold in the cold months, we could only turn the heat on briefly and only in the rooms we were using. Off at night where blankets would suffice, off when we knew we would be out. I thought I'd always come home to a cold house.
As an adult, this is my second year being able to leave my heat on. I'm 32. I set it a month ago and it's been on ever since. I'm not cold.
This is... nice
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