#a) its been so fucking long since ive been into dw i dont remember a lot of stuff

[warlordfelwinter]

my favorite half remembered possibly non canonical but i dont actually care doctor facts are:

- beat a kid to perma-death with a brick at school for trying to kill his bf and his government employee brother covered it up

- made said bf with chronic drums in the brain disease play the drums in their college jam band and either koschei was very talented or all their songs had the same bpm

[kumezyzo]

headcanons driving with bf!sapnap? i have brain rot rn over your tiktok you shared 🥹 maybe like a long road trip

this has been in my inbox for a bit. but its fine cause its 🐬 anon and we just ✨️understand eachother✨️. um...yea, my mind immediately went to when he 'stole' jimmy's car lol. so i refrained from writing that for now, dw. i would write that but as streamer reader. but this can be read as streamer or normal (?) reader.

umm, yea, enjoy! or dont... :) m.list

bf!sapnap who asks you to meet his family in texas. and as a result, you suggest a road trip.

"baby, thats like a fourteen hour trip," he says in concern.

"so we drive seven hours each," you state obviously.

he looks at you cautiously before shrugging, "okay, then..."

bf!sapnap who puts his arm around your seat when he starts backing out of the driveway. then he remembered he had a backup camera and put his arm down. causing your heart to flutter for a moment before deep disappointment set in.

bf!sapnap who doesnt realize how much you've been staring at him since the drive started. twenty minutes in, he looks over at you as if to ask whats wrong.

he gives you a questioning nod, his eyebrows furrowed as he looks between you and the road.

"nothing," you say, looking down at your phone and pursing your lips to hide your smile.

"hmm..." he trails off playfully. "whatever you day, baby."

bf!sapnap who quietly sings to songs, tapping the steering wheel to the beat.

bf!sapnap who reaches over to give your thigh a squeeze and immediately bringing his hands back to the steering wheel.

"yes, sir?" you ask, shocked by the sudden act of affection.

"nothin', just felt like it," he says, keeping his eyes on the road.

bf!sapnap who reaches over to hold your hand over the middle console.

"are you getting bored?" you ask him, rubbing your thumb over the back of his hand.

"no... i just want to hold your hand," he says, squeezing your hand.

bf!sapnap who refuses to let you drive for a while until you stop at a gas station and beat him to the drivers seat.

"no!" he half shouted when he saw you sprint to the car as he pumped gas into the car. he stood infront of door, not expecting you to run to the passangers seat. he wasnt able to react fast enough as you dove into the front seat.

you cackled out loud when he opened the door and accepted defeat at the sight of your spread across the passangers seat, the console, and the drivers seat.

"haha! fuck you!" you laugh out as he rolls his eyes and closes the door in absolute defeat.

bf!sapnap who falls asleep in the passanger seat, light snores sounding in harmony with the music playing quietly through the car.

you look over when you hear a quiet snore in between songs playing. you couldnt help the smile spread on your face at the way he curled up against the door. his face resting in his hand against the window.

bf!sapnap who wakes up and with his eyes barely open, chugs half a large water bottle. like when you wake up from those good naps.

"how far are we?"

"not too far."

"which means...?" he trails off sleepily.

"since you drove for nine hours instead of seven, and ive driven for four..." you say waiting for him to do the math.

"mamas... i cant do math right now," he says, trying to rub the sleep off his face.

"we have like an hour to go, love," you say with a giggle, reaching over and giving his thigh a similar squeeze to the he gave you earlier.

bf!sapnap who leans over and gives you a kiss when you reach the first stop light in a couple of hours.

bf!sapnap who post a video to his story on snapchat with the caption 'passenger princess core ✨️✨️🤪'

he pans the camera towards you focusing on the road, your arm resting on the window, your head resting in your hand and the other on the steering wheel. to his luck, you place both arms on the wheel as you turn on your indicator.

then he comically reaches over to grab your right hand and slaps it onto his thigh. you look at him in shock before realizing he was filming. the video cuts right as you start laughing at his antics.

bf!sapnap who give you different directions to his mothers house once you guys get to an area he remembers.

bf!sapnap who cant help but smile when you show him the pictures you took of him when he was sleeping and while he was driving.

"you took pictures of me driving?" he asks as you guys lay in the bed in the room he spent a majority of his life.

i had a lot of fun writing this. it was cute and shit. sorry if reader seemed to much like a character even tho they technically are (?)... i just couldnt help it. -nony

"yea, you looked hot," you tell him nonchalantly with a shrug.

[prettyboykatsuki]

hi fang i've been following you for a while but i don't think i can remember you talking about preforming oral on amab people so i was wondering if you had any tips or pointers? only if it doesn't make you uncomfortable! or if you don't know that's okay too. thanks :)

hi!

ill be honest, don't know if im the best for advice on this. i have definitely sucked dick before lmao and ive been told im good but my sexual history is mostly afab folks so im a lot more confident in those abilities which seems. backwards when i think about it too long but that's okay

but i do think sucking dick is simpler because all dicks are relatively the same in terms of like what feels good. everybody is diff of course but there's not as much to worry abt imo

first off, with anything foreplay is key. kissing up the shaft and long licks up it are great. cupping the balls gently and massaging them both before and during tends to feel good - don't be too forceful since its sensitive.

in general, please don't worry about deep-throating. ESPECIALLY IF UR UNUSED TO IT. i think this tends to be what makes people anxious but it's not necessary like. at all to give a good blowjob. it can be something you work towards (and if you really want to or are curious, press down on your thumb w ur fingers it gets rid of my gag reflex entirely) but it's not necessary.

generally - you'll want to focus sucking on and around the head. use your hands for the rest of the shaft / what you can't get to. stick your tongue out and try to be mindful of your teeth (this is one of those things that will get easier with practice, but sucking in your lips and cheeks to cover your teeth as you give head will prevent contact. not sure how else to explain it) pressure will depend on the person. i think just enough so that your not easily like pulled off is usually fine

it needs to be SLOPPY in general. a lot of spit is your friend and the more there is the better. drooling and being a little messy is going to happen. your giving head not serving face so dw about it. make sure u stick ur tongue out for like coverage

the frenulum is the most sensitive part generally. using your tongue on it. it's about an inch under the head where the skin sort of meets. pay attention to it and focus the sucking on there. wrap your hands around the shaft w a bit more pressure + plenty of spit

other tips are pretty straight forward. eye contact and enthusiasm in any sexual scenario is your friend so utilize it. it can be a little strenuous so if you need a break, play with the balls or just use your hands. some people need to fuck your mouth a bit to get off but that doesn't mean ur throat so a little shallow thrust will b okay.

don't stop as they start to cum, but during and while. like riding out the orgasm basically. u dont have to swallow but if you want to, relax your throat and take it deeper so you dont have to taste it.

im probably missing some stuff but this is what comes to mind first on how to give a good blowjob / what stuff is important and has gotten people to cum from head

hope this helps a bit!!! people feel free to chime in the replies

[boyshoujo]

also when did i ever mention grandpas ??? i dnot rmember............... BUT I KNOW PUB ENCOUNTER!!!!! and lmao everyone in the game is ugly so that's why i didn't play it,,,,, and there's that one guy called..???? memori??? smth like that idk but he looks like ardyn??? an uglier version of ardyn lol!! btw i Don't want to fuck ardyn,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

SFLJLSKFJ tbh it’s been so long that i dont even remember why i was talking about grandpas,, i just looked it up and ur right the lawyer guy looks like a sad budget version of ardyn lmao???? wait i think i was talking about grandpas bc in hadaka cant u bang the old grandpa butler or something ?? LMAO

so much happened in the last 2 weeks and i wanted to tell u everything but i forgot about it :( lmao its like im a news channel and im like “bringing u the news”,,,,,,,,,,,,, also ur post abt rock robin is so long??? lmao??? but im gonna check it out dw,, ,,,,i have very high standards of the people i bang so they all better be hot,,.,,,.,.,,,.,.,

👏 BRING 👏 ME 👏 THE 👏 NEWS 👏👏👏👏👏👏JKLJFLFJKJFS theyre not that hot………………im just gnna tell u…………theyre not that hot………………………………… the sprites r all over the place tbh and the hottest character imo is the main character lmao BUT i think u’ll like wizz bc he reminds me of you LOL except he’s an asshole lmao

actually i really wanted to fuck willy wonka when i was little???? he was just…. too weird and i liked his weirdness,, and have u even saw his face??? who wouldn’t want to fuck that??? but i just realized im Actually him?? like he got all the money in za warudo but he just wanted a loving family,,,,, i didn’t give a fuck abt charlie or his family when i was little but now,,,,,,,,,, i wish i had a family like charlie………… i now understand why willy wonka is the way he is right now……

tbh ME TOO??????? like……………………..i dont know why…..lmao………. but he’s hot ? in a weird kitsch way ???? like id bang both versions of willy wanka???? i’d bang the angsty purple one AND the emo bowl cut wonka???????? also BINCH SAME ???? i want a kind supportive family like charlie’s ????? wtf ????? wow add willy wonka to the #LonelyBitchClub

the name of that fish in nemo is gill and,,,, its like gel??? got it??? its like hair gel LMAO!! !!! but yeh i searched everywhere and i couldn’t find any porn of him ;^( i even searched in deviantart and didn’t find shit… …… sad….. i didn’t even find any fanfic abt him….. i actually hated him when i was a kid and i thought he was a dick…. i still hate him but since he looks like sergei i gotta fuck him lol!!! if u came at me 10 years ago n asked me abt him i’d say i want to kill himabout hair gel: i thought he was a petty bitch and when he talked abt his hand i was always like: “get over ur self bitch” and ooooooh damn i just looked at his scars again and i take everything i said back   

FSJKSJFSJF out of curiosity i tried looking some up aND I FOUND THE WORST PICTURE IVE EVER LAID MY EYES ON THANKS!!!!! DONT LOOK IT UP LOL,,,, also tbh……….i lied………… ive wanted to fuck gill since the moment i saw him………… he’s a hot goth fish and im into that…….. :/ :/ :/ when u first showed me sergei i was like ..... wow..................... this binch is just like gill from finding nemo mixed w/ leon from resident evil....................

ok i admit it im from saudi arabia, i was going to expose myself sooner or later lol but its just where i live- ok hold on i have a little story, 5 months ago i joined a discord chat for one of the fandoms, i talked about how this fucking evil character is, well.., evil……, like its obvious he’s going to be the villain, and everyone talked abt how he can be a good guy and they all got angry when i said “yeah anyways i don’t like good guys cuz they’re boring” and they immediately asked -where im from, i said “why are you asking :)” ironically cuz its a fuckin chat lmao and u should mind ur own business?? so i said “saudi arabia” and i felt them all judging me?? like if i was from russia for example does that mean “russian people are always right” and if i was from another country u possibly hate r u gonna say “arabic people are fucking evil and their opinions are always wrong”??? like u can’t judge me by knowing my country binch??? i got into 2 arguments abt that character being evil and another one abt how’s his canon hogwart house is gryffindor but i said “he’s a slytherin cuz he’s an asshole, and he looks like draco lmao” and everyone got angry again cuz “how dare u??? draco is a spineless coward while "that character” can fight pretty well" and then i “apologized” for saying my fucking opinion cuz apparently if half the people in the chat disagreed with you then you’re fuckin wrong cuz they said so, and then they said: “u have learned a lesson today” and idk started listing the “lessons” i learned?? like they said: “1. if the people in the chat told u to stop, u stop” ???? stop saying my opinion??? its not your father’s chat??? u don’t own it???? and after that i washed my hands cuz i felt the dirt on them from that filthy chat, ,,,,,, and i was in this chat in the big holiday (its a 4 months holiday) and it was ruining my holiday?? so i was like “fuck it” and deleted the app and i was finally free

tbh i kinda assumed u were from saudi arabia bc all the other countries i listed were like 4am in the morning and stuff but u were still sending asks and i was like ?????? why isnt this binch ASLEEP !!!! dont u have school !!!!also lmao what discord was that ??? they sound like a bunch of nerds IM LAUGHING WHO SAYS “you have learned a lesson today.” LKSJLKDLKSDJSD they got sticks up their ass and take themselves too seriously………… and who gets that heated over harry potter houses in the Year of 2017 lmao….. and people who judge others based on where theyre from ? #Ugly :/

today we had an english test and i was the only one who got 20 i think??? so the teacher (its the fish teacher lmao) looked at the paper then at me and she then smiled and blew a kiss in my direction and said “kisses” and i was like??? and i felt like i was the only student who ever got the full mark and she looked like she haven’t seen any student get the full mark in her tests ever???? i guess im going to be her fave student,,,,,,,,,,,, ,,,,,,,lmao she also gave me a little snickers

DJLKDSJLK she sounds so cheesy n dramatic wtf lmao………… wow what a turnaround…………….u should bcm the star pupil and Surpass her in English

being a dick culture™ is ubisoft sending me notifications and saying “the new chapter is out!!!! play it now!!!!!!!” “have you played the new chapter??????” “PLAY IT NOW!!!!!!!!” knowing damn well i can’t click on the game’s screem cuz the game is fucking dead,,,,,, like i sent them an email but i didn’t get any reply????tj is a libra??? what a loser,,,,,,,,,,, another reason to hate him,,, like from the moment he betrayed me from season 1 i canceled his ass,,,,, i mean i didn’t give a fuck abt him from the beginning LMaO!!! !!!!! but i knew he was a fake bitch and he was going to betray me,,,,,, 

do u need the links to the playthroughs on youtube ??? this is the season finale with louise but u cn find vincent’s on tumblr i thinkI LIKE TJ !!!! yea hes a libra ass binch but he has a good heart ??? ? he doesn’t deserve this slander………….Bye lol