#ablanketacrossthestars

[kyloreign]

a blanket across the stars: part 1

posting here until i get my profile on ao3 sorted!

this is my reylo fic! it’s a look into kylo’s backstory, and then the storyline of TFA and TLJ with a deep dive into kylo and rey’s thoughts throughout. enjoy! please let me know what you think :)

Kylo Ren could scarcely remember the last time he felt anything real. He varied between being numb to all the pain and war around him, and rage when things didn’t go his way. The dark side fed off this and he felt stuck in a constant positive feedback loop. His training and strength had improved vastly but he still felt that Snoke didn’t fully believe in him.

Things hadn’t always been this way. When he was young, everyone knew his name. Everyone spoke of how the son of Leia Organa and Han Solo was destined for greatness. That he could be the next Luke Skywalker. And Ben Solo was more than eager to please. His abilities began to show very early and it was clear how strong he was despite being so young. His mother taught him about the great Jedi of the past, Qui-Gon Jinn, Obi-Wan Kenobi, and Yoda. She told him of her father Anakin, but only in passing and never in the detail he wished for. He wanted to know about this mysterious Jedi who had been so powerful but then somehow vanished from his parents stories. He decided to ask his Uncle Luke the next time he saw him. Surely of anyone, he would know. But Ben knew he would have to play this right. If there was a reason his parents weren’t telling him something, it was likely Uncle Luke would feel the same.

“Uncle Luke, you trained with Master Yoda right?” Ben asked innocently.

“That’s right. Though it was difficult, he was a wise Master,” Luke smiles, clearly reliving some memories.

Ben took a breath, “I still think it’s sad you couldn’t train with your father.”

Luke paused and looked at Ben. “Leia told you about what happened to him?”

Ben nodded. Hoping that the expression he was making was appropriate for whatever situation this was.

Luke sighed, “I too think it would have been nice to train with Anakin. But the Dark was just too strong in him, there was too much Vader and not enough of Anakin left…”

Vader... Darth Vader? Ben’s lip quivered. Anakin had turned to the dark side? Why hadn’t his mother told him?

Luke saw Ben’s shock and thought perhaps he had been too blunt. He pulled Ben onto his lap, “I’m not sure if Leia ever told you this part, but when the Emperor was trying to destroy me with lightning, Anakin saved me. After all that time as Darth Vader, he still had conflict in him. He still had the Light in him. The Force is both Light and Dark. Together they create the balance in the galaxy. One cannot exist without the other. No one is ever truly completely Light or Dark.” Luke paused and looked off to the horizon. “He wanted me to join him. To rule the galaxy together and bring order… Sometimes I wonder what would have happened if I had chosen that path,” Luke murmured to himself more than Ben.

When his mother was putting him to bed that night he asked quietly, “Mother… why didn’t you tell me that Anakin went to the dark side?”

Leia paused as she was leaving the room, and sighed lightly, returning to his side. “Ben dear, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you before now… But I didn’t want you to feel like that was something you ever had to worry about.”

Ben looked away from the sadness and perhaps, shame, in her eyes, staring at the wall. If she hadn’t wanted him to know didn’t that mean she feared he would turn out like Anakin?

“Ben, please look at me,” Leia said gently. “Anakin loved my mother very much. He would have done anything for her. When she was in danger, he did everything he could to save her. But in the end, he chose a path to power rather than love. And because of that choice, he lost everything he cared so dearly about.” She looked at him intently, “But just because that is what he did, does not mean that is what you will do. We all choose our own path through the galaxy. You just need to trust in yourself and let the Force guide you.” She paused and added, “And know that we will always love you Ben.” She reached out and brushed his hair from his forehead and leaned down to kiss him goodnight.

Ben found a smile to put on his face until she left the room and then lay there, eyes unseeing towards the ceiling. It’s in your blood. What if his mother were in danger? What path would he choose? He knew deep down… he also, would do whatever it took to protect her.

As he tried to sleep he could hear his mother confronting Luke. He wasn’t sure why everyone seemed to think the walls in their unit were thicker than they were.

After this Ben became ultra sensitive towards how he was using the Force and how it was manifesting in him. He began to doubt himself where he used to be confident. Constantly nervous, wondering if he was more Light or Dark. His emotions were always close to the surface. Influencing his abilities. The Force became more difficult to control unless he was feeling strongly. Gone was the peaceful balance.

He could see the change first in his father. There was a look in his eyes when he saw Ben lash out with the Force because of childish tantrums. Fear. And remembering. He sees Vader in you.

Then there were the hushed conversations between his parents at night. They’re going to send you away. No… they would never.

“Ben, please sit down for a moment,” his mother requested one morning. His father had left early before first light on another trip. He used to bring Ben on his rambles, but it had been some time since he’d asked him to tag along. The unit was quiet and Ben could sense the impeding change. His mothers words blended together and faded into the background as he felt his gut tighten. She doesn’t want you anymore.

The tears threatened to fall but Ben held stiff, “Mother… why? Why would you send me away? Why can’t I continue training with you?”

He could see the light in her eyes shine with the same tears he was now unable to hold back. “Your Uncle Luke has decided to start a Jedi temple and his skills far surpass my own, dear. Besides, the Republic needs me to take on a bigger role right now and since your father and I won’t be home as much… We promise we will both visit as often as we can, sweetheart.” Liar.

The shuttle touched down on the rocky planet and Ben felt as though the gravity was much stronger here, though it only seemed to pull down on his heart.

Uncle Luke tried to treat him like the other students but it was clear that his mother had spoken to him about her fears. As Ben pushed himself to be the best he could be at every task, nothing seemed to alleviate that shadow in Luke’s eyes. Nothing you do will ever be enough for them.

Countless nights passed with Ben lying in his bed, glaring up at where the stars would be if he was outside. Where his parents were. Every muscle in his body tensed as he let the rage flow through him. Taking away the pain like a numbing balm. Luke will never allow you to become who you are meant to be. Ben flung himself angrily on his side and then froze.

There was a small girl curled up on his floor.

She was wearing beige rags wound around her in makeshift clothing, her hair pulled back in three buns. Her arms were wrapped around her legs tightly as she shivered violently in her sleep. Where did she come from? The nearest settlement was hours away by speeder let alone on foot. Perhaps she had run away from home?

After watching her shake for a moment, Ben took the spare blanket from the bottom of his cot and as quietly as possible, spread it over her. She was so small it seemed more like a Hutt sized blanket. As he tucked it gently around her she sighed, her shivering slowing, and a single tear rolled down her cheek. Ben sat and watched her, feeling an aching loneliness. He couldn’t tell if the feeling was his own or if it was emanating from the girl.

He didn’t remember going back to bed but when he awoke in the morning, he was in his cot and the girl was no where to be seen. But his blanket was still on the ground, rippled as if a small body had been under it.

Ben did not see the girl again for another full revolution. Yet there she was again. Looking slightly older. But still just as cold and this time she was lightly sobbing, her face shining with tears. The temperature in Ben’s hut wasn’t uncomfortable so wherever she actually was must be cold at night. A desert planet perhaps. Ben had already decided long ago that she couldn’t have been fully here. She felt far away despite being right in front of him. He again laid his blanket over her and somehow knowing he wouldn’t wake her, he sat nearby and softly rubbed her back like his mother used to when he’d have nightmares. “Shh shh, it’ll be okay, sweetheart,” he whispered. The familiar lonely ache that accompanied her eased and she pulled his blanket closer to her chest.

****

A world away, a young girl had a good dream for once. Someone cared for her. Someone comforted her. Her nights usually consisted of sporadic sleep due to the cold and the never-ending bad dreams. If she even slept at all, as she was usually too hungry.

The voices in her dreams were always hateful. You’ll never be good enough. They don’t believe in you. You’ll never be what your parents wanted you to be. They were so similar to her daily thoughts and snide comments from her Master that she always assumed that she had two inner voices. Her own and the male voice. Though on nights like this, the voice became softer and created a small moment of peace. When she awoke she always felt a lingering presence as though someone has just left her side, but she was always alone, just like every day since her parents had left her.

****

Once again, Luke praised every student but him. Clearly not wanting to encourage the thinly veiled anger Ben was using to accomplish todays lesson. Having had enough, he got up without a word and stalked off. Luke didn’t bother to try and stop him. He never did.

You’ll never be good enough. They don’t believe in you. You’ll never be what your parents wanted you to be, Ben thought. He slumped down on a boulder near the edge of their temple grounds. Vader would be proud of you.

Ben tensed. Would he? Anakin had been a strong Jedi. Everyone knew how strong he had been. His only downfall was loving too much. Was that really so bad? Wasn’t using the dark side in the name of love a noble thing to do? Vader followed his emotions and it gave him great power. It allowed him to become who he was meant to be, one of the most powerful Sith lords.

Everyone sees Vader in me already, maybe I am meant to follow his path. Mother can’t see everything, she could be wrong. She isn’t as strong with the Force as Luke, or even you, and she left you. She doesn’t believe you can be a Jedi.

But what do I do? Where do I go? The path will reveal itself to you soon enough. I can teach you all you need to know to become the best you can be. Great power and respect will be yours.

Ben practically salivated. To be able to use his strength and not be held back or worry about what side he was on. He stood with a new resolve and returned to the temple.

The voice had been right. Ben did not have to wait more than a few cycles before the moment came.

He had only just been able to doze off when he heard steps behind his back approaching his cot. The familiar unpleasant brush of someone searching his mind and heart with the Force came over him. His gut clenched with upwelling fear as he turned to see… his Master. His Uncle. Luke. Standing over him lit with a strange glow. Ben saw the lightsaber and reacted instinctively. Force-pulling his own lightsaber to protect himself and pulling the hut down around them as the weight of the betrayal began to sink into his mind. He had sensed since beginning his training that Luke didn’t trust him fully but to come to this? Luke had seen the Light in Anakin at the end… but he could see nothing worth saving in him? He doesn’t think you’re worth the effort of saving. Just like your parents.

Pain and rage filled Ben until there was nothing else left. He climbed out of the rubble and could see Luke’s hand lying still under the wooden beams. What do I do? No one would ever believe the great Luke Skywalker had tried to kill him. There was nothing left for him here.

He turned his eyes to the temple and thought, It’s time for it all to burn. He could feel the quiet approval of the voice and felt a swell of pride for the first time in years as it said, I look forward to your training, heir to Vader. Come fulfill your destiny as… Kylo Ren.

[kyloreign]

a blanket across the stars: part 4

Part 4!

The suns rise over the island and light pours into Rey’s small window high up in her hut. It shines on her face waking her. She sits up sleepily. Then she feels it. A presence. The air goes still… someone is here with her. She glances around and then suddenly there he is. Kylo Ren is sitting across from her in her hut. But… how? Her mind goes straight to Han and she reaches for her blaster, firing into his chest.

*****

A medical droid performs its work, whirring quietly in Kylo’s ear as it steadily pulls together the mending skin on his cheek. Minimizing an outer scar as he can feel the others so raw inside him.

She’s gone. The bridge of the Resistance ship explodes in his mind over and over. The reinforced glass spraying into the darkness, sparkling coldly, each piece carving through his scarred heart. Her presence fading from him like she was being pulled underwater. Further and further away from him. His father and mother both falling away from him. The tightness in his chest is almost unbearable. I am truly alone now.

Suddenly the whirring falls away and he feels someone nearby. He brushes aside the droid. The air feels fresher… he scans the chamber and on what was a bare storage bench on the opposite him, she sits. The girl. Though she’s across the room he can feel her mind like she is mere inches from his face, her breaths move through him as if their lungs are connected. What is this? He can see the sudden rage light her eyes and she grabs an object next to her, and fires directly at him.

Kylo feels the pressure from the shot punch his gut and he gasps, looking down at his chest. But no… he is unharmed. He looks back up but she is gone. How? He scans his room quickly and slides out into the hall. He looks down the corridor and then back up and there she is, standing before him. This is my chance. “You will bring Luke Skywalker to me,” he Force-commands quickly. She just frowns at him. Lowering his arm, he feels slight heat come to his face. Looking her up and down he realizes, she can’t be here. Thinking back to his varied research on the Force when he was with Luke he tries to pinpoint what this could be. He’d read that very powerful Jedi could project their bodies across the galaxy for a short time but it was extremely draining on ones life-force and could result in death. “You’re not doing this the effort would kill you.”

He begins to analyze, trying to figure out how this is happening. “Can you see my surroundings-?”

“You’re going to pay for what you did,” she cuts him off.

“-I can’t see yours… just you,” he gazes at her. Just her. Just like all those years ago. Sleeping on his floor. He feels strangely glad to see her. She’s alright. She wasn’t on the ships he blew up. He just senses anger from her. He’d also read of connections between Force-sensitive individuals able to communicate simple ideas and feelings to each other, he’d seen it when he was young between his mother and Luke. But this is so much stronger…

“No, this is something else,” he ponders aloud. She turns suddenly to look at something to her right. Then looks back at him with an awkward glance. As if she is concerned someone else can see him, and he can see a vague picture coming from her. She is definitely not sending it purposely.  He asks, “Luke?”

*****

When she looks back, he is gone. She explains to Luke that she was cleaning her blaster, when it went off. He seems to buy it.

Her first Jedi lesson is in mediation. Luke wants her to feel the Force around her. She does and it’s beautiful. Connecting life and death and everything in a giant circle. Perfect balance. Luke explains that the Force does not belong to the Jedi. To say that if the Jedi die, the Light dies is pure vanity. Rey thinks this makes sense. The galaxy will keep on turning whether someone notices or not.

But she can feel the pull of something lower, further down. “There’s something else, beneath the island… a place, a dark place.”

“Balance, powerful light, powerful darkness,” Luke acquiesces.

“It’s cold… it’s calling me,” Rey breathes.

“Resist it Rey,” Luke commands.

She can’t. The dark calls her… it has the answers she seeks. Just before she tips over the edge she sees in her mind, she pulls back, and gasps, clinging to the rock she’d be sitting on. Luke looks at her with wide terrified eyes, “You went straight to the dark.”

“That place was trying to show me something,” she explains.

“It offered something you needed and you didn’t even try to stop yourself,” Luke steps away from her. Rey is confused. It didn’t feel like the dark wanted to hurt her. It just pulled at that part of her that has questions. Why should she be afraid finding her answers wherever they may be?

Luke turns back to her, “I’ve seen this raw strength only once before, in Ben Solo. It didn’t scare me enough then, it does now.”

Ben… Kylo? What does he have to do with this?

Rain hammers down on the Falcon as Rey leaves Chewie to continue to try to contact the Resistance. She wants to go see the storm. Rainwater is pouring off the edge of the ship in a waterfall and Rey sticks her hand in it grinning. She’s never seen rain like this before. The ocean is wild and waves are shooting water up onto the cliff side. She closes her eyes feeling the Force in the wind and rain. The passion of it all-

There’s that presence again. It’s him.

*****

Kylo is standing near a bay window, watching fighters being repaired. Repaired from the battle where he lost her. After so many years of trying to deny their existence, now that both his parents are gone, they are constantly on his mind. Twin weights pulling down his heart. Sparks fall from above like raindrops made of cold light- he tilts his head. He can hear the ocean…

He turns as he feels her presence and there she is. Her poncho is shining wet. It must be raining where she is. He is still trying to understand, “Why is the Force connecting us? You and I?”

“Murderous snake,” she interrupts him again and her words are a cold lash across his face. Tracing the scar she put there. She is still so angry, “You’re too late. You lost. I found Skywalker.”

His mind reels. She found him. Has Luke told her? Does she know? He looks her up and down. “Did he tell you what happened?” She looks confused. “The night I destroyed his temple, did he tell you why?”

“I know everything I need to know about you,” she spits. Still such anger. He comes closer, looking into her eyes.

“You do?” He searches her, no, Luke hasn’t told that story yet. Her eyes glitter. “Ah, you do. You have that look in your eyes. From the forest. When you called me a monster.”

“You are a monster,” she glares, such passion in her face. Despite the cold rain and wind he can sense around her, the heat of her spirit warms him.

His eyes bore into hers intensely and he returns that heat, “Yes. Yes I am.”

*****

Rey’s brow furrows, her face feels warm. This connection is so… intimate, all their emotions apparent and clear. She hadn’t expected him to admit to it. She can see in his eyes that he owns his misdeeds. She can feel the guilt that plagues him as a result. She had thought that he took pleasure in killing and torturing. Had no qualms about getting rid of anyone who stood in his way. But she can see each scar he takes on laid bare. This insight was an interesting one. As wave crashes on the cliff her eyes run along the visible scar on his face. Her scar. She’s marked him. Kylo’s light dappled face vanishes and she feels a shiver down her back.

****

As she disappears, Kylo feels a trickle running down his cheek. Next to the scar she’d made. Her mark on him. He runs his gloved palm over his mouth and sees that it comes away dripping with water. How?

****

Rey’s second lesson begins. “The Jedi are romanticized, deified. But if you strip away the myth and look at their deeds, the legacy of the Jedi is failure. Hypocrisy, hubris.”

“That’s not true,” Rey protests.

They sit by a pool lined with tiles. They form the image of a Jedi meditating, split in half down the middle by a lightsaber. One side light, and one dark. Forming the balance.

“It was a Jedi master who was responsible for the training and creation of Darth Vader,” Luke elaborates.

“And a Jedi who saved him,” Rey counters. “Yes, the most hated man in the galaxy, but you saw there was conflict inside him. You believed that he wasn’t gone, that he could be turned.”

“For many years there was balance. And then I saw… Ben. My nephew,” his voice cracks. “With that mighty Skywalker blood. In my hubris I thought I could train him, I thought I could pass on my strengths.” He looks down, “Leia… Leia trusted me with her son. But by the time I realized I was no match for the darkness rising in him, I was too late.”

Here it is, Rey thinks. The story Kylo wanted me to know. “What happened?” she asks.

Luke turns away from her, he can’t even face her as he explains. “I went to confront him, and he turned on me.” He tells her that Ben pulled the hut down on them both, and believing Luke to be dead, went on to murder most of the students and set the temple ablaze.

“Leia blamed Snoke, but it was me. I failed,” there are tears in his eyes.

It wasn’t Luke’s fault that Kylo went to the dark side. Rey wants to make sure he knows that she needs him. And that he will be a good Master to her. “I need someone to show me my place in all this. And you didn’t fail Kylo. Kylo failed you. I won’t,” Rey states with conviction.

Luke looks to the side… avoiding her gaze.

Rey is walking in the dark across the island back to her hut when she feels it again. The air quiets and she can sense him there.

“I’d rather not do this now.”

“Yeah, me too,” he replies sounding odd.

“Why did you hate your fath”- She turns to him and sees that he’s shirtless looking back at her. Bare, exposed. Without his mask or gloves. Or anything that makes him Kylo Ren… except for pants anyways. And he looks… good. She looks away and then back again, feeling heat on her cheeks, “Do you have something - a cowl or something you could put on?”

He stands there unmoving. Almost as though he’s enjoying how flustered she is.

“Why did you hate your father? Give me an honest answer,” she tries again.

He steps closer.

“You had a father who loved you, he gave a damn about you,” her voice breaks, the tears are coming. How could someone privileged enough to have parents, and not only that, parents that cared - How could he do this when she had never had anyone.

****

Kylo could feel her angry confusion buffeting him like a gale force wind. “I didn’t hate him.”

“Then why?” she asked.

She’s still so fixated on Han. She hasn’t grieved. She needs to know he’s gone. His death should only plague me.

“Why what?” he prompts. She needs to verbalize it if she’s ever going to move on. Looking past the tears streaming down her face he pushes, “Why what? Say it.”

“Why did you”- her voice breaks again, “why did you kill him? I don’t understand.”

“No?” Could she really not relate? He can see the dark thoughts she has about her family. The ones she won’t admit to herself. “Your parents threw you away like garbage.”

“They didn’t,” she protests.

“They did. But you can’t stop needing them. It’s your greatest weakness.” It used to be his weakness. Pining for a faith in him that would never come. Only when he cut loose those ties could he no longer be held back. Only then could he become Kylo Ren. And leave poor unwanted Ben Solo in the past. She needs to do the same.

“Looking for them everywhere. In Han Solo, now in Skywalker.” Skywalker. Has he told her? He wants Rey to know of Luke’s betrayal. To know why he is not a good Master. Why he will let Rey down. Just as he let Ben down. “Did he tell you what happened that night?”

“Yes,” she replies angrily.

He can see the version Luke told her floating in her mind, “No.” Typical Skywalker, changing the story to suit himself. He lets her in to see his memory of the night.

*****

She sees the glow of the green lightsaber Luke held over Ben ready to strike. “He had sensed my power, as he senses yours and he feared it,” Kylo explains. Rey’s heart clenches. She feels the betrayal keenly through the bond. The lack of faith. The pain, knowing that Luke could see the good in his grandfather but not in him. So there must really be no hope for him. And she watched as Ben lit his blue lightsaber, simply defending himself.

“Liar,” she whispers halfheartedly. Seeing Ben’s memories through him impressed upon her the truth.

“Let the past die, kill it if you have to. Thats the only way to become what you are meant to be,” he impresses upon her as he fades. She takes a slow breath, wiping the tears away.

Each time they speak like this, she feels the pull of the dark sea cave more strongly. Kylo says, let the past die. That her parents threw her away like garbage… She needs to know. She is tired of not having the answers.

[kyloreign]

a blanket across the stars: part 3

Part 3! :)

The girl had a blaster again and in irritation he Force-plucked it out of her hand, tossing it and her backwards. She hit a tree and lay dazed on the ground. The traitor ignites a familiar blue lightsaber and Kylo is stunned. How did he of all people have his grandfathers lightsaber. He had betrayed them all. “That lightsaber belongs to me!” he cries and threw himself at the former stormtrooper. Their fight does not last long. The traitor clearly had no experience with using a weapon of that class.

As the man lies knocked out in the snow, Kylo reaches for the fallen lightsaber with the Force and pulls. But he is weakened from his injuries, the hilt wiggles and then shoots past into the girls waiting hand. What. Why her? He can see the surprise in her face as well. Should it not come to him? He is Anakin’s heir. Does it know he is not worthy? So much so, that a nobody from Jakku can wield it over him? Darkness creeps into the edges of Kylo’s vision, until all he can see, is her.

She ignites the blue beam and glows in the falling snow like a goddess of Light… She’s beautiful.

She charges him and Kylo is caught off guard, having to defend himself. Her raw power and fury surprise him. How she is this talented without any practice or guidance from a Jedi Master astounds him. No Master would ever let her fight with this much passion. It is something he was scolded for only too often by Luke. She would be a natural on the dark side. As they battled he could see the potential… He could be her Master, he wouldn’t hold her back like Luke… and he wouldn’t be alone.

“You need a teacher. I can show you the ways of the Force,” he proclaimed as they locked sabres near the cliffs edge. Their faces inches apart, lit by laser light, her eyes locked onto his and then closed. What is she doing?

*****

The Force. Rey closed her eyes as Maz had told her to do and opened herself up. She could feel the snowflakes swirling around them. Could hear them hissing as they melted in the heat of the laser swords. She could feel curiosity rippling off of Kylo towards her. She could see glimpses of his memories of training with a lightsaber for the first time. Feeling the patterns he made in her muscles. He has a very particular style. Flourishes and powerful strokes. The Force gathers and she feels a peacefulness and confidence. She can do this.

****

Kylo could feel the Force rising. Like a tide swirling around them, centred on the girl. Her eyes opened and he felt her presence like a bolt of lightning. She was hammering him back, and he couldn’t keep up, it was like she knew exactly how he was going to move. His lightsaber slipped from his hand and hers struck his face and chest like a meteor. He lay gasping in the snow, pain sharpening his senses and he looked in feared awe up at this girl as her face etched itself in his memory. Her eyes were burning bright but she remained still and did not strike him again.

It felt as though time had stopped apart from the silent fall of the snow. When he finally remembered to breathe, the earth beneath them quivered and broke apart, separating them. He watched her as she looked at him before running off. His emotions were in turmoil. Who is she?

Kylo returned to his ship and departed the base. It was time to heal his many wounds and reassess this situation… and face Snoke.

_____

Days later Kylo finally feels ready to report to Snoke of his further failings. Mask on, he feels more protected.

Hux has just finished briefing Snoke on the situation with the Rebel fleet and his active tracking. Snoke is pleased and Hux smirks at Kylo as he leaves the chamber. A flicker of anger passes through Kylo which he attempts to dampen so he can focus. The general is always competing with him for Snoke’s praise.

Snoke grins sensing his thoughts, “You wonder why I keep a rabid cur in such a place of power? A curs weakness, properly manipulated can be a sharp tool.” Kylo knows this is a common tactic of Snoke’s and has seen it many times over the years.

“The mighty Kylo Ren. When I found you I saw what all masters live to see, raw untamed power. And beyond that, something truly special, the potential of your bloodline… a new Vader,” he sighs, resigned, “now I fear I was mistaken.”

Kylo looks up. He was expecting anger, punishment even, but this… “I’ve given everything to you… to the dark side,” Kylo says raggedly. He has done everything ever asked of him. So much blood is on his hands for his Master.

“Take that ridiculous thing off,” Snoke hisses. Kylo removes his mask, his one layer of protection for the emotions on his face.

“Yes, there it is,” Snoke smiles cruelly, “You have too much of your fathers heart in you, young Solo.”

“I killed Han Solo,” he spits out in instant hurt and fury. “When the moment came I didn’t hesitate,” Kylo lies.

Snoke sneers, “And look at you, the deed split your spirit to the bone. You are unbalanced, bested by a girl who had never held a lightsaber. You failed.”

No. Kylo leaps to his feet, cloak flying off. He will not be called a failure for killing his father. He has done everything to kill every last bit of Ben Solo. And he is hit with the familiar lashing hot pain of Snoke’s lightning. Thrown back to the ground. Teeth clenched riding out the sensory overload. He will feel stiff pain in his muscles for a few days from one dose of lightning. He closes his eyes, one is a blessing.

Snoke turns back to his throne, “Skywalker lives. As long as he does, hope lives in the galaxy. I thought you would be the one to snuff it out. Alas, you’re no Vader. You’re just a child,” Kylo’s eyes tighten, “in a mask.”

Fuming, Kylo takes the lift down from Snoke’s chamber. His breath comes out in short bursts as his mind races. He killed his father and it still isn’t enough. He looks down at his mask. What more can he give? He’s given everything to be Kylo Ren. He slams the helmet into the lighted wall of the lift. Even his Master doesn’t believe in him. No one does. I will never be enough. I am nothing.

“Prepare my ship,” he clips at his underlings as he exits the lift. He needs to blow something up.

*****

“There’s no light left in Kylo Ren. He’s only getting stronger. The First Order will control all the major systems in weeks. We need your help. We need the Jedi order back. We need Luke Skywalker,” Rey explains to Luke on his isolated island, hoping he will come right away to help the Resistance.

“You don’t need Luke Skywalker.” She frowns at that. “You think what? I’m going to walk out with a laser sword and face down the whole First Order? You think I came to the most unfindable place in the galaxy for no reason at all? Go away.” He stalks into his hut and shuts the door. Maybe this will take a little longer than expected.

She follows Luke around the island for days. Examining his routine. He clearly is quite at home here despite the isolation. But he continues to say she is wasting her time, and refuses to come with her.

One morning as he is climbing into the mist she feels a pull on her senses. She looks to Luke and decides he doesn’t care what she does anyway so she might as well check it out.

She follows the oddly familiar feeling to an old tree. It has a door in it and the inside forms a room. There is a shelf with old leather bound books on it that are calling to her. She reaches out to them.

“Who are you?” She turns to see Luke in the doorway behind her.

“The Resistance sent me.”

Luke explains that these are the original Jedi texts, the last of their kind. Stroking a page he looks up, clearly wondering how she knew this place, he asks again, “Who are you?”

I am no one. I’m only here to bring you back. Just a messenger. “The Resistance sent me,” she repeats.

“They sent you. What’s special about you? Where are you from?” he pushes.

She looks away. There is nothing special about her. She’s a scavenger from Jakku. I have no place in this story. I come from nowhere. I am no one. I am nothing.

“Nowhere,” she answers his last question.

“Why are you here, Rey from Nowhere?”

She pauses. “Something inside me… it’s always been there, but now it’s awake, and I’m afraid. I don’t know what it is or what to do with it and I need help,” she finally admits with a shaky breath. To herself as much as Luke.

“You need a teacher,” Luke states and Rey sees Kylo’s eyes flashing at her in the snow as he had said the same. “I can’t teach you.” Rey starts.

“Why not?”

Luke turns, she can see the intensity and pain in his eyes, “I will never train another generation of Jedi. I came to this island to die - It’s time for the Jedi to end.”

******

Kylo’s emotions are still running high as he gets into his ship and tells his flankers, “Follow my lead.” He rushes headlong into battle. He needs to show he can do something. He fires upon ship after ship. His skillful flying apparent as he flies into the hanger of the Resistance ship and destroys their fighters. He swings around to the bridge to take out the leaders on board. That’s when he feels her. Leia. His mother. And he can tell she senses him too. The bridge is in his sights. Finger on the trigger. Memories flood his mind.

He can feel her hugging him, the one time she visited the training temple a month into his stay there. He begs her to take him away, he hates it here. Uncle Luke treats him differently than the other students, and he doesn’t want to be a Jedi if this is the only way. She looks down at him with tears in her eyes and he can tell this is tearing her apart. He can feel her regret.

His finger moves off the trigger. And his flanking ships fire. The bridge explodes, debris and bodies flying into space. His heart sinks. He has no one left.

Hux orders him back to the fleet and he lets his emotions out in a sharp breath.

[kyloreign]

a blanket across the stars: part 6

The final part! (for now anyways. i’m working on a follow up to this that takes place directly afterwards but wanted to make it a separate story since it’s all just conjuncture.) thanks for taking the time to read :)

Kylo walks her into Snoke’s chamber, and kneels before his Master.

Snoke smiles, “Well done my good and faithful apprentice. My faith in you is restored.” He looks to Rey.

“Young Rey, welcome,” inclining his head towards her and releases her cuffs. She rubs her wrists lightly where they’d been pinched. “Come closer child,” he requests. She stands her ground.

He seems impressed, “So much strength! Darkness rises, and Light to meet it.” He looks to Kylo, “I warned my young apprentice that as he grew stronger, his equal in the Light would rise.” He then force pulls Skywalker’s lightsaber out of Kylo’s hand to him.

“Skywalker,” he says as he inspects it, “I assumed. Wrongly.” He looks back up to Rey, “Closer, I said.” He Force-pulls her to him. She tries her best to resist, but he is too strong.

“You underestimate Skywalker,” she says with a clenched jaw as she is pulled forwards, “and Ben Solo, and me. It will be your downfall.”

“Oh,” Snoke puts on a worried face, mocking her. “Have you seen something? A weakness? In my apprentice? Is that why you came?” He laughs, “Young fool, it was I who bridged your minds.” Kylo looks up sharply at that. He feels sick. What. No. Why would he do such a thing.

“I stoked Ren’s conflicted soul,” Snoke explains, “I knew he was not strong enough to hide it from you. And you were not wise enough to resist the bait.” The betrayal stings sharply. Snoke was just using him. Just as Han had said. Just as he’d dreaded. Snoke never believed that he could get Skywalker on his own. This connection with Rey that he had thought was special is tainted. It was all a ploy.  

“And now,” Snoke rumbles to Rey, “You will give me Skywalker. Then I will kill you with the cruelest stroke.” “No,” she hisses.

“Yes,” he insists. “You will give me everything.” He lifts her with the Force and pushes his way into her mind. She tries to resist only causing more pain, she screams.

Kylo looks down, his body tensed in their shared pain. How is this happening. This is not how this was supposed to go.

Snoke finds the answers he wants and drops Rey to the ground, “I did not expect Skywalker to be so wise.” Kylo’s gut tightens and he looks up. Snoke is praising Skywalker. The man who ruined his life. He’s hurt Rey and played him for a fool. Snoke wanted him to feel a constant failure, creating and using this weakness. A curs weakness, properly manipulated can be a sharp tool…

“We will give him and the Jedi order the death he desires. After the rebels are gone, we will go to his planet and obliterate the entire island,” Snoke laughs at the thought.

****

Rey stands in anger. She will not allow this to happen. She force pulls Skywalker’s lightsaber to her. But Snoke only shoots it out further. Kylo moves his head to the side to avoid it. This is far from the first time Snoke has thrown things at him. Snoke then pulls the saber back towards him, hitting her head on the way. And it is back resting at his side.

“Such spunk. Look here now.” He Force-pulls her to the side of the chamber where there is a large glass magnifying the battle outside. The destroyer is firing upon the escape pods from the Resistance ship.

“The entire Resistance on those transports… Soon they will all be gone.” Rey thinks of Finn and Leia. No. “For you, all is lost.” She frowns. No. She turns and Force-pulls Kylo’s lightsaber off his hip to her and ignites it. She can see the slight surprise in Kylo’s face that it came to her so easily. But it feels willing in her hands despite how heavy and hot it is. She will not give up.

“Oh, still that fiery spit of hope. You have the spirit of a true Jedi,” Snoke is very impressed. The guards prepare to fight her. She yells in anger and charges Snoke. He Force-pushes her away easily, back towards Kylo. The lightsaber goes out and slides across the floor, landing spinning at Kylo’s foot. He looks up.

“And because of that, you must die,” Snoke growls. He uses the Force to pull her to a kneeling position and rotates her to face Kylo.

****

“My worthy apprentice, son of darkness, heir apparent to Lord Vader,” Snoke speaks to Kylo. Oh, now I’m worthy again? Now that you need me to kill someone for you? His anger burns. He’s decided, and Snoke can feel it, “Where there was conflict I now sense resolve, where there was weakness, strength,” Kylo looks to Rey, she has given him strength. “Complete your training and fulfill your destiny,” Snoke commands with an evil grin.

Kylo picks up his lightsaber from the ground and stands. Gazing at Rey. Her eyes are glowing embers. He senses her apprehension but still trust. Still hope. Even now. In him. “I know what I have to do,” he says to her, never looking away.

“Ben” she whispers. He sees a flash of his father saying the same thing. She is afraid, he wants to send calming thoughts through their connection but cannot lose focus. He must not fail. Not now. He must succeed.

“You think you can turn him,” Snoke jeers, “Pathetic child. I cannot be betrayed. I cannot be beaten. I see his mind," Kylo’s eyes still have not left hers. “I see his every intent. yes, I see him turning the lightsaber to strike true." Kylo raises his lightsaber and turns it in front of him. Hand turning at his side, willing Skywalker’s lightsaber to turn, please, please turn.“And now, foolish child, he lignites it, and kills his true enemy,” Snoke cries.

Kylo clenches his fist and the lightsaber beside Snoke ignites and shoots through him. The Force-hold on Rey ends and she drops to the ground turning to see Snoke. Kylo pulls the sword towards him, slicing through Snoke and Rey reaches up to grab it. They are perfectly in sync. He feels a burst of pride, Skywalker’s- No. Anakin’s lightsaber had responded to him. I am worthy.

Rey rises and faces Kylo. They look into each others eyes and he lights his sword. We can do this. Together. Without a word they turn, back to back, to fight the guards. Complete faith in one another. The connection is blinding, and still very much there despite Snoke’s death.

They each know exactly where the other is. Weaving in and out. They fight as one. She turns to strike a guard who gets too close to Kylo’s right side. He leans back to support her so she can push off his back and thigh to kick a guard in the chest. It feels natural and right. The Force hums through them both and fills the room. Each striking with passion and fury. Taking out the guards one by one.

Rey’s arm gets struck by a blade and Kylo can feel it. His eye twitches with rage. And he swirls to attack the guards surrounding him with renewed energy. In the flurry he loses his lightsaber and a guard pulls his spear against Kylo’s neck holding him from behind.

Rey finishes off her guard and looks to Kylo seeing him choking, losing air.

“Ben!” she yells and Force-pushes her lightsaber across the room into his hand. It lands perfectly and he ignites it into the face of the guard.

He looks at her across the room in amazement, their eyes meeting. They did it. Sparks fall like snowflakes… like their first battle. This time was so different.

“The fleet,” Rey’s first thought is her friends. “Order them to stop firing there’s still time to stop the fleet,” she turns to Kylo and sees him lost in thought. Staring at Snoke’s body.

He did it. Snoke is dead. He’s free. It’s over. He almost falls apart from the relief. The painful heavy presence no longer has it’s sharp claws buried in his mind. He feels so light. He’s finally free to leave it all behind and start over where no one has expectations of him. He can make a new path.

“Ben?” Rey asks softly.

“It’s time to let old things die.” He breathes heavily, “Snoke, Skywalker,” and walks towards her, “the Sith, the Jedi, the rebels, let it all die. Rey…” He holds out his hand, and gathers his courage, “I want you to join me. We can rule together and bring a new order to the galaxy.”

****

Rey feels cold run through her. He still wants her to turn? She had thought he had decided. To fight with her. “Don’t do this Ben. Please don’t go this way.”

****

Can’t she see? He can’t join her. He can’t go with her, back to the Resistance. It would be his death sentence. They would never accept him. Not after everything he’s done. And he can’t leave Hux to take over the First Order. This is the only way. He can only start fresh from the ashes or not at all. His sins are too many.

“No, no, you’re still holding on,” he cries. “Let go…” She needs to see. How can he make her see. That she’s still being held back by the past. “Do you want to know the truth about your parents?” he can see the tears in her eyes. “Or have you always known? You’ve just hidden it away.” He prompts her softly, “You know the truth… Say it.” Even more gently, “Say it.”

****

Rey looks down. The tears fall as she takes a breath and looks within herself. Thinking of all those nights she waited. For years. Staring at the stars. Wondering if they would ever come back. Hope fading piece by piece. In the sea cave, seeing the answer in her own solitary face. They were nobody. I am alone… I come from nothing. I am nothing. “They were nobody,” she finally admits to herself.

****

“They were filthy junk traders. Who sold you off for drinking money.” Kylo feels a flash of rage. How could they leave her. “They’re dead. In a paupers grave in the Jakku desert,” he says.

****

Rey sobs with an odd feeling of relief. Relief from the constant pressure of wanting answers. Of wanting her past to be something it wasn’t. She hadn’t even realized how much tension in her was due to it until it wasn’t there anymore.

****

He continued, “You have no place in this story. You come from nothing. You’re nothing,” he says as he shakes his head, no. Nothing could be farther from the truth. She closes her eyes as he echoes her thoughts back to her.

****

Kylo takes a breath, his words are filled with the emotion inside him, “But not to me.” She looks at him, his face filled with light. Just as she believes in him, he believes in her. She feels it beaming off him. His thoughts flow to her, Sometimes families let you down. But you can still find belonging in those you choose. He gives her strength.

“Join me,” he reaches his hand back out, glove shining. She looks down at it, tears streaming down her face. He turns his hand slightly and she looks up. “… Please,” he asks, eyes gleaming, lip trembling. Please don’t leave me too.

This is so hard. She aches to take his hand. To fulfil this vision they had and bring peace to the galaxy… but she can’t… not yet. She can’t abandon her friends. She’s the only hope they have now. She decides.

Rey reaches her hand towards his. Her eyes set. She can tell that he senses something is off… and she tries to Force-pull the lightsaber out of his hand.

****

Kylo pulls back, and they are pushed apart by their equal strength. He is not angry for once… he is scared. He does not want to lose her. They both pull as hard as they can, straining. The sword caught in the middle. Unlike in the forest, now they are both worthy. The force becomes too much and a white flash blinds them, the blast knocking them both to the ground.

****

Rey awakens confused. She sees the destroyer has been hit by something. Everything is burning and there are distant explosions. She looks around fearfully for Kylo, the bond is faint. She sees him lying on the ground to her right and goes to him.

“Ben?” she asks, hands on his arm, shaking him lightly. He does not awaken but she can feel him breathing. He’ll be alright. “Oh Ben, I’m so sorry…” She looks up and can see the last of the Rebel pods escaping. She has to go.

She glances around and sees Luke’s lightsaber is to her right. Broken into two large pieces. Her heart sinks. She looks at Kylo’s lightsaber on his hip and then to his unconscious face, he looks almost peaceful. As if he’s sleeping. I can’t leave him defenceless. She’ll find a way to fix Luke’s. Bending down she whispers, “Please don’t give up,” before brushing his hair from his face. Then she picks up the two halves of Skywalker’s lightsaber and leaves on Snoke’s escape craft.

****

Kylo awakens to Hux standing nearby. “What happened,” Hux demands. Rey… where is she. If Hux is here asking what happened she must have left…

He says what he must, “The girl murdered Snoke.”

He gets up and scans the floor quickly. He can’t see Skywalker’s lightsaber. He pats his side and feels his on his hip… how did it get there? Looking out the window he sees the destroyer is split in half, how? “What happened,” he asks Hux.

Hux misunderstands and replies, “She took Snoke’s escape craft.”

Kylo’s breath catches and his chest tightens in pain. She left him. Just like his parents. “We know where she’s going. Get all our forces down to that Resistance base. Let’s finish this.” If she won’t destroy the past, he will. He strides towards his ship.

“Finish this?” Hux asks incredulously. “Who do you think you’re talking to? You presume to command my army? Our supreme leader is dead. We have no ruler!”

Kylo’s brow furrows. Time to take control of this situation. He turns and Force-grabs Hux by the throat. “The supreme leader is dead?”

“… Long live the supreme leader,” Hux croaks.

They approach the mine the Resistance is hiding in. Speeders are coming to meet them and their fighters are running defence. Then Kylo spots an all too familiar ship. The Falcon is assisting the speeders. It’s the last thing he wants to see right now.

“Blow that piece of junk out of the sky,” he snarls.

The Falcon peels off and draws the fighters away from the speeders. But it’s to no avail, the cannon blasts the door to the mine.

****

Leia sits in the control room of the mine, feeling defeated. Then she senses someone and looks up… “Luke.”

“Leia,” he comes to her, “I’m sorry.”

“I know. I know you are,” she smiles at him sadly. “I’m just glad you’re here, at the end.”

“I came to face him Leia,” he pauses, “I can’t save him.” No, he can’t. But maybe someone else can…

Leia’s face crumbles, “I held out hope for so long, but I know my son is gone.”

Luke shakes his head, “No one’s ever really gone.”

He puts a set of golden dice on a chain in her hand. Han’s dice.

****

Kylo sees a figure emerge from the blown open mine doors. Is it Rey? No… those robes… Skywalker. Cold fury fills him.

“Stop,” he commands. “I want every gun we have to fire on that man… Do it.”

Everything blasts Skywalker, salt and red dust fill the air. Rage consumes Kylo. But when the cloud clears… there he stands. How? Clearly I’ll have to do this myself. “Bring me down to him.”

He strides out of his ship, cloak flowing. Dark against the bright white of Crait’s surface. He faces his former Master.

Kylo can barely contain his anger. It’s been so long since he saw Luke. “Did you come back to say you forgive me? To save my soul?”

“No,” Luke replies. Incensing Kylo further. He throws off his cloak.

Luke lights his lightsaber. …his lightsaber. Rey. She must have come straight here and given it to Luke. The blade of betrayal lodged in his heart twists further. Clearly she’s chosen her side.

Kylo charges at him, but Luke dodges his every strike. Bending and twisting, impossibly quick. Kylo slashes wildly, holding his sword backwards as Rey does without realizing.

Luke turns to him with regretful eyes, “I failed you Ben, I’m sorry,” he admits.

“I’m sure you are,” Kylo retorts. “The Resistance is dead. The war is over. And when I kill you, I will have killed the last Jedi.” So much hurt poured into every word.

Luke shakes his head, “No. The Rebellion is reborn today. The war is just beginning, and I will not be the last Jedi.”

****

Rey finds where her friends should be coming out of the cliffs. Seeing the large pile of rocks blocking the passage she smiles to herself, thinking of Luke. Lifting rocks.

Her strength has grown so much she easily moves the many boulders and sees the faces she’s missed dearly. Finn runs to her and sweeps her in a tight hug. She is so glad he is alright.

****

Luke feels it. He knows Rey has done it. They’ve escaped. He’s done what he came to do. Tears fill his eyes.

Kylo can tell he’s thinking of Rey. Luke stole her from him. Turned her against him. Ruined everything. If Luke had had more faith in him, he never would’ve turned to the dark side. And he and Rey would be together now. Luke was his last hope back then, and he let him down. Because of Luke he’s lost everyone… father, mother… Rey. He is blinded by his rage.

“I’ll destroy her. And you. And all of it,” Kylo spits.

“No,” Luke puts out his lightsaber, “strike me down in anger and I’ll always be with you. Just like your father.”

Kylo screams and charges him. Slicing him in two. Just like Snoke. He turns. And Luke is still there, standing tall. How?

He walks up to Luke and slowly, step by step, stabs his sword through his chest. It goes right through him, like through air.

“…No,” Kylo stammers.

“See you 'round kid,” Luke says before he dissolves.

No. This was his one chance… Kylo turns to the cave and realizes what Luke had been doing… buying time for them to escape.

Time slows as it hits him. The lightsaber wasn’t real. Rey…

****

Rey is running to the Falcon when she feels the ripple in the Force. She turns to Leia and sees she feels it too. Luke… he’s dying. But peacefully. He saved them.

****

Kylo enters the cave with Hux and his troops. He follows Rey’s presence, and sees something shining on the ground. He kneels to pick it up, a set of gold dice… he remembers seeing these shining, hanging in the Falcon cockpit. Memories fill his mind of the trips his father would take him on. Their little adventures. Exploring different worlds and getting chased off of a few. Will the past ever stop haunting me?

There’s a brush across his mind, Rey… he looks up.

****

Everyone has just gotten on board, and she is just about to shut the hatch door when she looks down and sees him. Kneeling. Looking up at her. She can see the pain and questions in his eyes and the tear streaks on his face. Please don’t give up. Her chest tightens.

But she can’t risk her friends. She leans on the door release and it hisses shut. I’m sorry…

****

Kylo flinches at the sharp absence. He looks down and the dice vanish. He clenches his fist and bows his head. She is leaving him. He’s alone again.

He collects himself and stands, channeling the pain. Time to step back into his role. Time to be Kylo Ren. But it doesn’t feel the same as it used to. He feels tainted by the Light… and Rey.

****

Everyone on the Falcon is reuniting and hugging. Old friends and meeting new ones. Rey greets BB-8 and Poe turns to see her. The girl who saved his droid, and Finn.

He approaches her, “I’m Poe.”

“I’m Rey,” she shakes his hand.

“I know,” he replies.

She feels herself grinning. No one has ever known her on sight before. I am someone.

Rey sits with the broken lightsaber, one half in each hand. Thinking about Kylo. How she left him. She feels awful. Did she make the right choice? Will he be alright? Will the First Order find out what happened to Snoke and hurt him?

She looks up and sees Finn cover unconscious Rose with a blanket. She sees a flash of Kylo lying on the floor as she touches his hair in a goodbye… for now. And while she feels happy for them she feels a sad twinge in her chest. Kylo- Ben. Ben should be here.

Leia sits down with her… Ben’s mother.

“How do we build the rebellion from this,” Rey asks.

Leia looks down at the broken lightsaber and puts her hand over Rey’s. “We have everything we need,” she smiles with a perceptive look in her eye. Rey wonders, does she know?

[kyloreign]

a blanket across the stars: part 5

Part 5 (in my mind the best part.....) enjoy!

She climbs down to the slick seaweed rimmed cave entrance. Peering in, she wonders if this is such a good idea when something pulls her in. She falls into a pool of water at the bottom and fear grips her as she does not know how to swim. Luckily the same force that pulled her in doesn’t seem to want her to drown as she feels herself pushed to the surface. She grasps the rocks at the edge and pulls herself out of the water quickly, scared of being sucked back in.

In front of her is a smooth sheet of rock? Ice? Almost mirror-like but marred with cracks and imperfections. She puts her hand to it and her vision splits. There are so many of her, all in a row, mirroring her movements with a slight delay. She follows the line with her mind back to the flat surface. She asks to see her parents and presses her fingertips to it. Two dark forms take shape and come towards her, hope flares briefly before they merge into one. When the haze clears she sees her reflection. It’s just her. Alone. Like she’s always been. She falls to her knees.

****

Kylo is preparing for the night when he looks up to see Rey shivering and wet. He doesn’t even have to think about it. He grabs the spare blanket that he’s had at the bottom of his bed every night since the training temple, and hands it to her. Neither of them think about the logistics of it, she just looks at him with wide thankful eyes and accepts, wrapping it around herself.

She then tells him about the cave. “I should’ve felt trapped or panicked but I didn’t. This didn’t go on forever, I knew it was leading somewhere. That at the end it would show me what came to see…” She looks down. Tears spilling over. “I thought I’d find answers here, I was wrong. I’d never felt so alone.”

She sits there wrapped in his blanket. Cold, wet, and lost. His heart breaks, her loneliness echoes through him, tears filling his eyes. The dark side has brought him power, but never the sense of belonging he wanted. He is always alone… but, he realizes, not anymore. “You’re not alone,” he reaches with his mind, trying to send warmth and comfort as best he can.

She looks up, feeling a wave of heat, “Neither are you.” He watches her eyes search his face, reading him like an open book. Seeing all their shared pain from the past. Both deserted by family, making their way in the galaxy alone, trying to find their place. Never finding the kinship they crave.

“It isn’t too late,” she reaches her hand out to him.

Kylo is sure his shock is apparent. He can’t remember the last time someone touched him not in anger or battle. The last time he felt someones hand not through a thick leather glove. He looks at her pale, trembling fingers and back to her face. She’s putting her trust in him… She believes in him. He takes his glove off. And reaches out. On the back of his hand he can feel the warmth of the fire that is glowing on her face. He can see the vague outline of the hut behind her. The connection is getting stronger. He looks back to her, she is so intent, and full of hope despite what she’s been through. Despite what she’s seen of him, in him. There is so much Light in her. He can feel her igniting that same hope in his chest… oh, this is dangerous.

They both wonder what will happen when they touch, will their fingers go through each other? Or will they be solid?

Eyes locked, their fingers are mere grains of sand apart. Kylo can feel the energy rising, the Force vibrating the very air between them, and then - they touch.

A vision blasts through both their minds that is so vivid and full of emotion.

They are standing together, their hands intertwined. They cannot see past the other, their surroundings are blurred and hazy. There is an intense feeling of happiness and peace, balance… And the knowledge of what they’ve achieved together - the galaxy is no longer at war… It’s devastatingly beautiful.

The vision is so powerful it takes both their breath away and they gaze into each others shining eyes. A single tear falls from Rey’s.

“Stop!”

They both turn to see Luke in the doorway, arm outstretched as the hut’s walls explode outward. Rey looks back but the blanket that had surrounded her, and Kylo, are gone.

Rey is furious, still filled with Kylo’s sense of betrayal and hurt. She jumps up, going after Luke. “Is it true, did you try to murder him?” she cries. The rain pours down and lightning illuminates the sharp protective fury on her face.

“Leave this island, now,” he dodges answering, walking away from her.

“Stop!” She pursues him, “Stop.” Grabbing her staff and striking him across the back. He turns to her and she demands to know, “Did you do it? Did you create Kylo Ren?”

He answers by Force-breaking a metal pole off an existing island structure and parrying her strikes. Her anger makes her fighting sloppy and Luke manages to pull her staff away, throwing it to the side. She instantly reaches back and Force-pulls the lightsaber to her, igniting it and charging Luke. He falls back to the steps.

“Tell me the truth,” she demands.

Luke looks to the side sadly. Clearly he had hoped to avoid admitting this, “I saw darkness. I’d sensed it building in him. I’d seen it in moments during his training. But then I looked inside and it was beyond what I ever imagined. Snoke had already turned his heart.” Luke looked so defeated. “He who would bring destruction and  pain and death and the end of everything I loved because of what he would become. And for the briefest moment of pure instinct I thought I could stop it.” Rey saw a glimpse of what Luke saw that night. The lit lightsaber in his hand. About to put it away, when he looked down, and it was too late. “It passed like a fleeting shadow. And I was left with shame. And with consequence. And the last thing I saw were the eyes of a frightened boy whose master had failed him.”

Rey looks at him sadly, lowering and putting out the laser blade, “You failed him by thinking his choice was made. It wasn’t.” Hope flares in her chest, “There’s still conflict in him. If he were turned from the dark side that could shift the tide. This could be how we win.”

“This is not going to go the way you think,” he grumbles.

“It is,” she insists. “Just now, when we touched hands, I saw his future. As solid as I’m seeing you. If I go to him, Ben Solo will turn.” He saw this same conflict and possibility in his father… how can he not see it in Ben as she does?

“Rey don’t do this,” he pleads. She rises and offers him the lightsaber one last time.

He looks away. Rey lowers the weapon. He has disappointed her.

“Then he’s our last hope.”

As she walks away he sees a flash of Leia… you’re my only hope.

Rey climbs into the pod to send herself to Snoke’s ship, to Kylo- No, to Ben. She’s put on her nicer set of clothes and left her hair partly down. The last times he has seen her she’s been bedraggled and wet. She wants to look good this time.

The pod enters the ships hanger and she takes a breath. The inside of the pod is dark, and she is nervous. Will he listen? Can she do it?

Then the lid lifts and light pours in. She looks immediately to the side. She can feel him there. And there he is. He is looking down at her, his hair looking fluffier than usual. She can tell he is trying to hide his emotions and keep his face blank but there is not the usual anger there, his expression is almost soft. He steps away and stormtroopers produce cuffs. Not those again.

In the lift they are alone. He stands behind her. He is taking her to Snoke.

“You don’t have to do this. I feel the conflict in you.” She looks back towards him, “It’s tearing you apart.” He says silent.

******

“Ben,” she faces him. He breathes in. His old name… in her voice. So soft. No one has ever said it like that.

“When we touched hands I saw your future. Just the shape of it, but solid and clear. You will not bow before Snoke.” She steps closer to him and gazes at his face. He sees her conviction and faith in him like a beacon. Seeing her in person makes the bond feel so much stronger. He feels its pull like he’s falling into her gravity.

“You’ll turn. I’ll help you.” She is so earnest, pleading with her eyes, “I saw it”.

His mind locks onto that. I’ll turn? That’s not what I saw… They were standing together, they’d won, she’d joined him.

“I saw something too,” he tells her. He can see her thinking. “Because of what I saw, I know when the time comes, you’ll be the one to turn.”

****

How can that be? she thinks. They were standing together, they’d won, he’d joined her. He continues, “You’ll stand with me…” His eyes are gleaming. “Rey,” he breathes. Her name. This is the first time he’s said it. She feels incandescent.

****

With her looking at him like that… he wants to give her everything. But he’ll start with the one thing she wants most of all, “I saw who your parents are.”

****

She backs away, confused. What? He saw them?  After the cave she had almost resigned herself to never knowing.

The lift doors open.

[kyloreign]

a blanket across the stars: part 2

here’s part 2! let me know what you think :)

He hadn’t thought about the sleeping girl in years. He had practically forgotten about her. The BB-8 droid with the map to Skywalker was loose on Jakku and this situation was not going well.

“We have no confirmation but we believe FN-2187 may have been helped in the escape…” the lieutenant reported. Kylo Ren lit his lightsaber and unleashed his pent up frustration on the control panels in front of him. Of course the traitor stormtrooper would be involved.

“Anything else?” He asked threateningly.

“The two were accompanied by a girl-

Kylo Ren felt a soft sensation in the force, as if a feather had stroked the back of his neck. A desert girl… why did this feel familiar…

He instinctively force-pulled the lieutenant by the neck to him, asking, “What girl?”

“There’s been an awakening. Have you felt it?” Snoke questions.

Kylo thinks of the brush of force from earlier. He’s felt off balance ever since. “Yes.”

Snoke then informs Kylo Ren of the fact his father has the BB unit on his old ship the Millennium Falcon. Kylo starts at his fathers name. And at the memories of that ship that have been so tainted by time. “I will not be seduced,” he assures Snoke. What could possibly make him want to go back to the father who abandoned him in fear.

Kylo sits in his quarters, eyes fixed on an old mask all too similar to his own. The change in the Force and the mention of his father who he has not thought about in some time have him feeling as though he has missed the bottom stair. Stomach falling. The feeling that maybe, he made the wrong choice.

“Forgive me. I feel it again. The pull to the Light…” Kylo bows his head. Despite feeling so committed that night after Luke came to his hut, he still does not belong. Everyone else seems to believe in their cause with full conviction. The First Order, the Rebels, even his parents. His grandfather knew what he wanted and he gave up everything for it. What is wrong with me?

As his ship lands by Maz’s castle, Kylo hopes he can finally capture this droid so he has something to show for this wild chase across the galaxy. He is desperate for that map. Luke cannot be allowed to survive. If it weren’t for Luke…

“Sir, the droid was spotted heading west, with a girl,” a stormtrooper reported.

Kylo turned his head quickly, feeling that light brush again. He did not like this strange feeling.

He prowls through the woods until he spots her. Blaster in hand, glancing wildly about. He ignites his lightsaber and she turns towards the noise, firing her blaster to no effect as Kylo easily deflects the beams into the trees. He raises his hand to hold her still. After all, I can’t speak very well over blaster shots now can I, Kylo smirks.

“The girl I’ve heard so much about,” he sidles up to her, finally taking her in. She is wearing scrappy beige clothing and has her hair in three… No. It must be a common hair style on desert planets. Good for keeping hair out of the face on a hot day. His hand near her face he skims her mind and as if she is actively trying to not think about it, there it is. “The map. You’ve seen it,” he practically purrs. Finally. Something right.

Stormtroopers approach and request backup. He decides then, no need for the droid. He closes his fist putting the girl to Force sleep. Scooping her up he carries her gently to his ship all the while trying to not think about why he is bothering to be gentle at all and how he wants to dive a little deeper into her mind to see what else lies there.

The girl is restrained in a chair and Kylo crouches near her waiting for her to awake. He cannot shake the strange feeling that this has happened before. But that’s impossible. How could it possibly be the same girl. So much time has passed… Kylo can’t say for sure if this is what his girl would look like now.

She comes to and Kylo takes a breath.

“Where am I?” she asks not nearly as fearful as he expected her to be. He is unsure of how to reply…

“You’re my guest.” He can see the confusion and anger on her face, she really does not hide her emotions well. “You still want to kill me,” he remarks.

“That happens when you’re being hunted by a creature in a mask,” she retorts. Kylo pauses. His mask. His way of ensuring no one mistakes him for who he used to be. His chosen path. He can see her distain and wonders… will she know my face?

He reaches up and unlatches his helmet, the mask comes off. He can see surprise on her face but no recognition.

****

He is not what she expected. Why would he bother to remove his mask for her? It serves no purpose. His face is much softer than what she had imagined was hiding behind the mask of twisted metal. Why hide this face?

“Tell me about the droid.” His voice is so different without the mask. Smooth and peculiarly familiar. She deflects by stating facts about a BB unit and he interrupts. “You know I can take whatever I want.” His hand reaches towards her face and an odd feeling snaps into place. She looks into Kylo Ren’s eyes and she feels prickling all over her skin as she realizes… I know his presence… but how?

****

Kylo reaches his hand toward her face and the feeling hits him. Aching loneliness. The strange, sad beauty of the sleeping girl in his room from all those years ago punches him in the gut. Her eyes meet his and he knows. This is his girl. He sees glimpses of her life. The desert, the heat, the old broken AT-AT she lives in… starving, beaten, struggling to live day by day. Waiting, always waiting for her parents to return. A wall of metal. Covered in marks. Hope fades. The feeling echoes and resonates within his own memories. He closes his eyes briefly, tension between his brows.

“You’re so lonely… so afraid to leave… At night, desperate to sleep… you imagine an ocean. I see it. I see the island.” She looks away as tears are streaming down her face and he can’t keep from gazing at her. He found her. She found him. But who is she? The map, Kylo. Focus. He backs away slightly and searches. Her eyes meet his again and this is different than any mind probe he has ever done. She burning bright at the other end, like a ray of sunlight streaming through a window, he can almost feel the warmth on his face. The Force flowing between them like a current. Confusion is apparent on her face.

“Don’t be afraid… I feel it too,” though he doesn’t understand this feeling, he doesn’t want her to be scared. His broken mind rebels at this foreign compassionate thought.

She is so strong… she pushes back into his mind and he staggers backwards in shock. How? How can this girl from nowhere do this? He can feel her searching and easily finding the fresh wound in his mind, “You - you’re afraid you will never be as strong as Darth Vader.”

His eyes widen. He can’t stay here. He needs his Master’s advice. This was not something he was prepared for. His girl was not supposed to be Jedi material.

When he returns to find her gone, he feels a pang of loss in his chest. The tense humming that had been present in the room when they connected was gone and left the space feeling incredibly empty. He hadn’t gotten the map. Again. Out comes the reflexive lightsaber as he unleashes his confusion over the feeling the girl had created and the self hatred at his repeated failure.

Kylo stalks the corridors searching for the girl - she’s the key to all of this, I can feel it - when he senses a familiar presence… Han Solo. His emotions are high. He has failed so many times. He can’t fail again. This is all he has. He follows the vague presence to the oscillator. Striding across a connecting bridge to search the other side he hears, “Ben.”

Heart pounding, Kylo turns to face Han- his father. He knew this day would come. Eventually. But now that it is here, all he feels is sick. So much of Kylo wants to rip off his mask and run to his father. But the weight of his choices keep his feet grounded. Han asks him to take off his mask. Again, Kylo hesitates. He is no longer the Ben his father remembers. Helmet removed, Han breaths in. His father is looking at him with so much concern. He is wary but the fear is gone from his eyes. He is drinking in the sight of the son he has not seen in years.

“Snoke is using you for your power. When he gets what he wants, he’ll crush you - you know it’s true,” Han pleads. The words have a quiet ring of truth in Kylo’s mind. But what is he to do?

“It’s too late,” he answers, darkness flooding his heart.

“No it’s not. Leave here with me. Come home. We miss you,” his father looks so lost. He wants his little boy back. More than anything Kylo wishes he could go. See his mother again. Be a family again. Forget all about all the horrific things that have happened since they sent him away. His heart clenches.

“I’m being torn apart…” Kylo’s voice breaks.

The light shining down from above fades and Kylo feels all the hope he briefly felt flaring in his chest snuff out. I’ve cut away too much of myself…

As the lightsaber pierces his father, a hand caresses his face and Kylo feels himself shattering. His father’s body falls into the abyss of the oscillator. Tears blur his vision. What have I done.

Pain explodes as Chewie’s shot strikes his side and he falls to his knees, looking up to where the light had been. He sees the girl, with the traitor stormtrooper and his rage rises. If that stormtrooper hadn’t have left none of this would have happened.

Igniting his lightsaber he confronts the traitor and the girl in the forest. Her eyes glittering she spat out, “You’re a monster.” The name slid into his mind and reverberated. She’s right.