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#about me post since the last one was getting old
soobibabe · 3 days
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espresso kim mingyu
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rewite of one of my most popular oneshots, espresso! pairings: kim mingyu + reader trope: friends to lovers genre ▸ romantic comedy (including smut) wc: warnings: 'unprotected' sex (she's on the pill tho) , oral [m + f receiving], fingering, choking, lots of praise and pet names, creampie, v. squirting. lmk if I miss any.
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[ august 2nd 2023 ]
It’s been so long since you last saw the friend group that just walking in makes you jittery. You've known these guys since high school, all thanks to Mingyu, but university life has kept you too busy to catch up.
You do see Mingyu the most, given that you both attend SNU together, but the rest of the gang has been a rare sight.
When you finally step through the door, your nerves quickly dissolve. The room erupts in cheers as soon as you're spotted, with Soonyoung’s voice ringing out in delight.
“Come hereeee! You’re all grown up now!” His eyes light up as he watches you move towards the circle they’ve formed in the living room. He’s already looking tipsy.
“Soooonieee, I missed you!” You hug him tightly as soon as you’re within reach. Chan’s voice cuts through the celebration. “Yah, quit hogging her!”
“Ignore them both; they’re half a bottle of soju away from full-blown drunkenness,” Dokyeom says with a laugh, pulling you away from their clinging. “Let’s get you settled. What do you want to drink? It doesn’t have to be alcohol if you’re not into that, though we were about to start a drinking game.”
You smile, feeling a wave of nostalgia. “Just water for me, but a drinking game sounds fun. I’d love to join, though you know my tolerance is pretty much nonexistent.”
“That’s fine,” Dokyeom says. “You can just watch, but—”
Before he can finish, Mingyu joins you in the kitchen, cutting in smoothly. “We were thinking of playing truth or dare, or drink. DK suggested it for old times’ sake.”
You don’t notice Minghao entering until his voice calls out your name, making you jump slightly. “I missed you. It’s been so long!” He moves in for an embrace, but Mingyu grabs your wrist and steers you towards the others. “Missed you too, Hao—” Your words are cut short by Mingyu’s brisk pace.
You miss the tense exchange of glances between Minghao and Mingyu, the latter looking determined while Minghao wears a sly smirk.
DK follows into the living room, carrying a tray of shot glasses and bottles. “So, who’s up first?”
The game kicks off with outrageous dares, from posting twerking videos on Instagram (DK’s specialty) to speaking Korean with an American accent for the rest of the game.
When it’s Minghao’s turn, he locks eyes with Mingyu. “I dare you to call the girl you like and confess exactly how you feel.”
The dare hits you like a punch to the gut. Mingyu hesitates for a moment before downing his shot in one go. Since when was he seeing someone?
The game continues with laughter and more dares until Wonwoo finally arrives, fresh from a long day at his internship.
The night has been the most fun you’ve had in years, but Mingyu’s secret lingers in your mind. Why hasn’t he told you about this?
Later, after everyone else has either left or collapsed on the couch, you and Mingyu find yourselves sitting on the porch outside his room. The cool night air and the city’s soft hum create the perfect backdrop.
“Why didn’t you tell me you liked someone?” you ask, trying to sound casual despite the twist in your chest.
Mingyu looks at you, his expression unreadable. “It’s complicated.”
“Complicated how? We’re best friends, Mingyu. You can tell me anything,” you press.
He sighs, running a hand through his hair. “It’s nothing. Really, don’t worry about it.”
Defeated, you decide to drop the topic. “Anyway, it’s late. I should get going—” But before you can finish, Mingyu’s warm hand wraps around your wrist, pulling you back. The touch is unexpected but gentle.
“Don’t go,” Mingyu says, his brown eyes earnest. “It’s past midnight; you shouldn’t be driving alone.”
“It’s okay, Gyu, I’ll be fine.”
He pulls you closer, his grip firm but tender. “Please don’t go.” His plea makes your breath hitch. You’re used to his alcohol-fueled clinginess, but this feels different. Your heart races, and the tension between you makes your cheeks flush.
You grab Mingyu’s leftover soju from the ledge and take a swig. He watches you with a mix of surprise and admiration.
“Mingyu, can I do something stupid?” you ask, feeling the alcohol’s effects loosen your inhibitions.
“Do anything you want, whether it’s with me or something else. Just stay with me,” he replies, his voice low.
You’re not sure if it’s the alcohol or the moment, but you lift your hand to his cheek, standing on tiptoe to meet his gaze. Lost in his eyes, you notice his focus on your lips.
“Can I kiss you?” you ask, as if he could read your mind.
He doesn’t hesitate. With a swift, decisive movement, his lips crash onto yours. You wrap your arms around his neck, pulling away for air, but he immediately follows, chasing your lips with his own.
His hands explore your hips, then waist, until he's grabbed one of your thighs, pulling it up to his frame.
He pulls away, this time you expect him to say that you shouldn't be doing this, but to your surprise... "Need more. I need you, y/n" The whininess in his tone causes you to reject any worry you previously have about 'ruining the friendship'.
"You have me, Gyu". you manage to say, but you're so breathless it comes out sounding like a moan, it ignites something in Mingyu You'd never seen before.
His eyes grow dark in an instant, kissing you again this time leading you into the room with the hold he had on your hips. Strangely, you're the one who feels intoxicated now, mingyu sobering up by the minute.
"Can i touch you, y/n?" he whispers, breaking the kiss.
"Please do" you whisper back. He feels feral. Now you're on the bed, back against the mattress with mingyu hovering above you. He takes off his shirt and you're blushing like a teenager all over again.
You've seen Mingyu shirtless a number of times throughout your friendship. You would always have to look away, afraid he'd notice how flustered he made you. All those times were nothing compared to being this up close.
"Do you like what you see princess?" the way he says nickname has your heart and core fluttering. He holds your hand, presses it against his chest and you feel his heartbeat racing.
"I'm nervous too, its alright. we can stop at any point you don't feel like doing more, okay?" No other guy you've got this far with before paid this much attention to your satisfaction, he's unreal.
"Mingyu, i need you"
"You have me pretty girl, just tell me where"
You start by placing his palm against your cheek, then down to your chest torturously slow following the line that divides the left and right of your torso all the way down to your clothed cunt. "Here." you bat your lashes at him, doe eye on full display.
Mingyu wastes no time, he tugs the waistband of your pants all the way off in one swift motion. "Tell me how bad you want it baby" "Please gyu," you start, but your mind wonders far off anything coherent when you feel his lips graze your supple skin. He bites onto your panties, pulling them down your thighs with his teeth. So slowly, so sensually it almost feels surreal.
Once it's off, all of his attention is on your bare cunt, "dripping for me already and I haven't even touched you yet" "let's take care of that, yeah?" almost immediately, his face is buried in your heat, licking a long strip from your clit to your needy hole until he's back up, attacking your clit.
"Fuck, you taste so good" he practically moans out against your skin, sending vibrations through you.
Not long after the constant cycle of rubbing your clit and eating you like you were his last meal, he pulls off, spitting directly onto your slit and slides his middle and ring finger into you. His face returns to your cunt, repeating everything he did earlier, this time focusing on stimulating your gspot with his fingers.
“Right there! mmh” you whine out, trying to suppress your moans incase one of the guys outside wake up (which they wouldn’t even if you were to scream, because they’re all blacked out drunk).
“Don’t stop, please! fuck, gyu don’t stop” you feel him smirk against you. Your hands scurry the bed for something to hold onto when the pleasure starts to feel like too much. They finally reach to mingyu scalp tangling his hair causing him to moan out.
Without warning, his hands and lips detach from your pussy, earning pained a whimper from you feeling empty.
“Need to be inside you. Like now. i’ll make it up to you. Promise” he leans in, pulling you into another passionate kiss, hands busy with the him of your shirt “Take this off pretty. Wanna feel all of you.”
“Good girl” he hums once you do, kissing you as a reward. “Put me in”
You’d be lying if you said you weren’t intimidated by his size. Not only was he long, but he was blessed in the girth department too.
You reach for him, holding the base of his cock to align it with your entrance. Once you start pushing the tip in, you’re scared you might not be able to handle the rest of him.
“That’s it, keep going you can take it.” he encourages. He glides in easily thanks to his fireplay earlier, but the stretch was alot. “Don’t worry baby i’ll make it fit.”
He gently moves your hand off of his dick where you connected and places his on your hips instead. “It’ll feel good soon, i promise” he whispers.
He slams every inch of himself into you all at once in a sharp motion. “Shh, it’s okay. You’re doing so good for me” his strokes are slow, but hard. Not missing your g-spot once. The pain turns to pleasure faster than you thought.
“You look so pretty like this” you’re unable to respond to the compliment, too consumed in how good he makes you feel.
Your nails graze his back, surely leaving marks. It drives him insane. the thought of you claiming him gets him so worked up his pace quickens, his pelvis snapping against yours.
Mingyu busies himself in your neck, leaving bites thatlll most definitely bruise before tomorrow.“Gyu m’gonna cum” you’re seeing stars.
“let it all go for me princess” that’s all it takes for you to release all over his cock.
His pace is constant, fucking you through your orgasm.
“Shit, that was so hot, good job pretty”
Your pussy clenches on him repeatedly, sending him closer to his edge. “Ass up” you obey as soon as he requests. Once you’re flipped over, he puts a pillow under your stomach ensuring your comfort.
“Took me so well just like i said you would”
In no time, he’s back to his previous pace, thrusting in and out of your soaked cunt. “Has anyone else ever made you feel this good?”
“No! fuck, only you gyu!” you can’t see him, but you can already assume (accurately so) that he’s got a smirk plastered across his face.
As he continues, you feel the coil from earlier build up again.
Mingyu holds your hand, pulling it under your body, between your lower tummy and the pillow, pressing it against the bulge that appears when he strokes all the way into you. “Do you feel me here?”
“Yes, god cumming again” he presses down against the bulge harder, adding more stimulation to your second orgasm.
“Good girl. Me too” he groans.
“Fill me up, gyu” he does exactly that.
“Fuck,” he chucked lowly “you can’t just say stuff like that, it makes me wanna ruin you”
“Then ruin me” you muster out through broken moans from the overstimulation.
Your walls are coated white, flodded with his release.
He still hasn’t pull out of you, not wanting to break contact.
“You mean that?” he says as he collapses onto the bed, pulling you into a warm embrace.
“Nah i was just kidding” of course, you’re only teasing. After this, he can do anything he wants to you.
“Uh huh, will you still be saying that when i ask you to sit on my face once you’re no longer sore?” he bites back at you.
“Shh go to sleep” you attempt to change the topic, aware that you’re playing a losing game.
“No sleeping yet pretty girl. Let’s get you cleaned up” and with that, he scoups you up bridal style, walking you to the bathroom and starts the shower for you two.
“My legs are wobbly because of you”
“Weren’t you just begging me to ruin you?”
“Okay whatever let’s get this over with i’m sleepy “ you sulk.
Mingyu spends most of the time in the shower focused on tending to you even though you reassure him you’re okay to do it on your own.
You’re in his clothes, cuddled up into his large arms. He can’t believe this is really happening. The girl he’s been inlove with since he was a teen is really here, right now, beside him like this.
“are you asleep?” he asks softly.
“depends” you respond playfully, making him roll his eyes.
“i’m really glad… this happened” his tone changes to a whisper, much more serious than earlier.
“Me too. i’d be even more glad if it happened another time?”
“Noted” he giggles, which turns into a yawn.
“goodnight, y/n”
“goodnight, gyu”
His arms wrap around you, pulling you in somehow even closer. You both fall asleep in a matter of minutes. your heart feels so full.
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[ august 3rd 2023 ]
You wake up wrapped in Mingyu's embrace, feeling the gentle rise and fall of his chest syncing with your own. As you shift onto your stomach, you lift your head to take in his sleeping face.
He looks utterly serene, the most angelic sight you've ever seen up close. Without thinking, your hand reaches up to cup his face, tenderly caressing his cheeks.
"I wish we could stay like this all day," you whisper, and his peaceful facade momentarily falters as a smile tugs at his lips.
"You sly little sh—" you begin, but yourwords are cut off as he flips you over, positioning himself on top of you.
"Let's stay like this then," he murmurs, burying his face in your chest, unwilling to let go of the warmth.
"But what about the guys?"
"What time do you think it is, baby?" he chuckles. "They all left, which is why I was already awake."
You glance at the clock on the nightstand. It's already 11 a.m.
"Don't blame me; you're the one who drained the life out of me last night!" You wince internally, regretting your choice of words as you notice him blush, his face hidden against your chest.
"Anyway, I made breakfast for you. Let's head to the kitchen," he says, and you can't help but think that Mingyu just keeps getting more perfect.
You spend the rest of the morning at his place, showering together, brushing your teeth, and lounging around in his clothes while eating and chatting casually. Well, almost casually. Mingyu finds every opportunity to steal kisses—at first, he says it’s to check for something on your lips, then it’s to blow an imaginary eyelash off your cheek. None of it is necessary, but you revel in his affectionate gestures.
Later, Mingyu insists you stay longer, but you have plans with Jiwon, your best friend, that evening. Reluctantly, you agree to leave, making a promise—thanks to Mingyu's persuasive charm—that you'll spend more one-on-one time with him later that week.
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At the mall, Jiwon and you meander through a maze of shops, trying on clothes and chatting about everything under the sun. By the time you both concede to taking a break, your feet are sore, and your energy is depleted. You nestle into a comfy corner of a café, where you order a couple of steaming lattes and pastries, ready to unwind and catch up on life.
Despite your constant communication, there's always a treasure trove of new topics to dive into. Today, though, you’ve been brooding over how to drop some major news, and after much mental wrestling, you decide to take the plunge.
You're not sure how she'd react to the news about mingyu, so you decide to rip the bandage off all at once out of nowhere after hours of contemplation.
Jiwon’s eyes perk up immediately. "HE? YOU? Oh my god, stop! I’m going to pass out! YOU GUYS? Y/N?" Her shock and disbelief are palpable, reflecting your own feelings when you first wrapped your head around it.
You nod, a smile playing at your lips. "Yeah, I was just trying to figure out when and how to tell anyone."
Jiwon leans in, her face a mix of excitement and disbelief. "Well, now that we’re on this topic… how was it? Was he… you know… well-endowed?"
You laugh, feeling a flush of embarrassment mixed with amusement. "To sum it up in one word: heavenly. And yes, he’s definitely… well, impressive."
“Oh my god, this is amazing!” Jiwon’s eyes widen. “Honestly, I kind of saw this coming. He's always looking at you like he’s about to fall over from adoration. And even though you play it cool, it’s clear that you both have this crazy thing for each other but are too scared to admit it—probably because of the whole ‘maintaining the friendship’ thing.”
You cringe at how spot-on she is. “Okay, I won’t argue with your assessment. But you can’t deny that he’s seen me at my best and worst. He’s the best guy friend I’ve ever had, and it would be strange to end things since we share so many mutual friends.”
“Whatever’s meant to happen will happen, Y/N. Just do what feels right. I think that means letting whatever started with Mingyu last night continue.”
“Ugh, I agree. Thanks for being my moral compass, Jiwon. I don’t know what I’d do without you.” In a spontaneous gesture, she grabs your hand.
You expect her to say something sentimental, but instead, she surprises you with her usual boldness.
“Cute. Now let’s go get you some lingerie to celebrate with your boy toy.” Jiwon’s lack of a filter never ceases to amuse you.
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[ august 7th 2023 ]
Mingyu's at your apartment, finally able to hang out together like you decided on the last you met.
You're both on the couch, keeping fair distance whilst you watch 'Crash Landing On You' for the second time with him.
Halfway into the second episode, mingyu slides himself closer to your end of the couch, breaking the invisible barrier between the two of you.
"i miss you" he pouts, seeking your attention.
"i'm right here" you can't help but giggle at how stupidly adorable he looks.
He places a hand on your waist, reeling you closer to him. "I have an idea of something more fun we could do"
"Mhm, and what is that?' you inquire.
"Let me show you" he lifts you like you weigh nothing more than a feather, settling you on his lap allowing you to straddle him.
"Remember what i said about sitting on my face? Can you do that for me pretty girl?" his fingers dance on the elastic of your underwear, waiting for your permission before he goes any further.
"Yes i can, but can i taste you today instead, gyu?" your reply catches his off guard.
"Anything you want baby" the pet name sends shivers down your spine, encouraging you to act upon your urges and pulling him into deep kiss.
You get off of his lap, knees against the hard wooden floor, ridding him of his jeans whilst he tugs his shirt off. He's so fit.
His dick bulges through his calvins, fighting against the fabric. "Look at how hard you make me pretty"
You take his cock out of his boxers, almost salivating at the sight of it. His tip is crimson, begging for relief.
You wrap your hand around his shaft, drawing it closer to your face. You lick a long strip along it, coming back up and stopping at his tip and taking it into your mouth.
Once he's past your lips, he's a groaning mess. "Fuck, you're doing so well, keep going."
You take him in further gagging around him when he's all the way in, stuffing your throat. "Good girl. So good for me, shit"
His hands pull your hair into a loose ponytail, using the light grip to guide you. You bob your head, thrusting him in and out of your mouth at a steady pace.
It doesn't take long for you to find a rhythm, but it's not enough for him. He really just wants to be inside your cunt, so to speed up the process, "Can I fuck your throat baby?" his voice drops a few octaves down, losing himself in pleasure.
You nod in response, and that's all the confirmation he needs to push your head closer to his pelvis. He stands up to angle his dick better, thrusting in and out of your mouth, gradually reaching his climax.
Your eyes are full of tears, mascara running down your face tipping him over the edge. "Can you handle swallowing?" he asks through broken moans making you nod again. He holds you in place, reaching all the way down your throat where he releases his load.
He reaches out to hold your hand, pulling you to your feet, flush against his body into a kiss. "You're unreal".
He sits both of you back onto the couch in your previous position. "Please fuck me" you whimper out, too horny to care about how desperate that must've sounded.
"So bold" he smirks "Well, as my lady wishes"
He works on removing your bottoms while you unbutton the silk pajama shirt you're wearing. When you're finally stripped out of your clothes, he's in awe at the revelation of what you'd been hiding underneath.
"You're gonna be my demise" is the last thing he utters before yanking your panties to the side, lifting you to align your cunt with his cock, and slowly sinking you down on it.
You moan in unison at the feeling of the initial stretch. It feels like he's breaking you in two in the most divine way possible.
"Fuck, y/n nobody else can ever feel you like this."
"I'm yours mingyu, fuck!" you manage to whine out.
He holds your hips to slam you onto his dick. His free hand creeps up to your neck, choking you slightly as he fucks into you. It drives you insane, feeling him all the way inside you near your cervix. At some point, his cock really does kiss your cervix, causing you to sob out from the overwhelming pleasure mixed with that unfamiliar pain.
He doesn't fail to hit the spongy tissue in you even once. He changes position, laying you on your back with his hand still on your throat. Your vision suddenly blurs, a mix of white and stars clouds your mind with your eyes sealing shut.
You're squirting. All over him at that.
"Holyyy fuck," Mingyu groans out. "Y/n, fuck you're gonna make me cum" "Cum-" Youre interrupted by a wave of your orgasm crashing through your body "-in me"
And so he does. This might have been the hottest thing mingyu has ever experienced.
"You're clenching down on me so hard, fuck. oh fuck-" The overstimulation from his relentless thrusts sends you both over the edge.
"The couch" he says followed by an airy laugh, but you couldn't really care less about the mess right now.
"You have officially ruined me" you whisper with a fucked out smile.
"Good." he smiles back. his eyes linger on where you connect, pulling out of you and admiring the sight of his cum dripping out of you. "Fuck, can I take a picture of this?"
"Sure, just dont show it to anyone" his eyes sparkle at your response.
"It's cute that you think i'd share you" he uses two fingers to plunge into your tight, dripping hole and fucks his cum back into you. "so pretty" he pulls his phone out, snapping a picture of the image he's already embedded into his mind.
"Let's go clean you up"
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A/N: this is a rewrite of one of my most popular one shots :] i intend to turn this into a series and the first version of it felt a little to scrappy for a chapter one! i hope you enjoy!
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screamingcrows · 2 days
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I am sadly not immune to all the talk of Veritas Ratio in a modern university setting... (Manu - I hope I can call you that - your posts are so sweet) pair that with the autumn mood and you get this;
tags: pure fluff, they're about to be dating your honor, modern university au
minors do not interact!
Veritas had been puzzled at first, while it wasn't exactly odd for you to be fidgeting with something during lectures, it was usually limited to a specific set of items: your water bottle, some form of pen (he had a spare of your preferred tucked away in his bag for the inevitable bad days where you'd had to leave your dorm in a hurry), or the keychain on your bag.
Whatever this new item to catch your attention was, your hand had practically been glued to the inside of your pocket for two weeks.
Conveniently hidden out of sight, forcing his hand.
He catches you at your usual autumn spot, at least it was last year, a fairly secluded bench sheltered from the elements by four old chestnut trees.
You jerk in surprise when he sits down next to you, and warmth blooms in his chest when you close the book in your hand and lightly smack the top of his head. Still, there's no real power behind it. Only one hand is holding the book after all.
"Your pocket," his gaze is momentarily drawn to a lone magpie rummaging through the first yellow leaves to bed the ground.
"My pocket?"
A sigh leaves his lips as you parrot his words, turning to look upon your face. Veritas thinks his heart might burst at the soft confusion etched into your features, so reminiscent of a delicately carved masterpiece and still containing so much that could never be conveyed through cold stone.
"Yes. You've been fiddling with something in your pocket for a few weeks. At first I assumed it was a loose thread, but it persisted through days regardless of your outfit," cool air caressed his cheeks as he breathed, carefully tuning his voice to your widening eyes, "naturally, I've grown curious as to the nature of that item."
Silence sweeps through the air, enough that Veritas can faintly hear the buzz of people closer to campus. What would normally be comfortable, has him shifting a bit. Too keenly aware of your downcast eyes, his hands find solace in adjusting his scarf.
It feels invasive when you pull your hand out, and he finds that perhaps this knowledge wasn't worth the price. But the words never make it from the tip of his tongue, not before you've opened your hand to reveal a single chestnut.
He blinks, the smooth brown reflecting what warm sunlight pierces the overhanging canopy.
You're already talking again, "-and I've just always grabbed one since that, it's just a silly tradition but I enjoy it and it's harmless and-"
"Would you tell me how, in detail?"
The way your shoulders slumped a little confirmed his theory, you'd been about to rile yourself up with nervous ramblings. Veritas turned towards you, leaning against the bench while you sought out words.
"The first thing you do is to gather the very first chestnut you lay eyes on," what else was there to do but oblige in the face of your expectant pause, "and then you whisper a wish to it."
Again, he obliges, wringing his nose at the faint scent of detritus that already clings to anything picked from the ground.
"Now you just, well you carry it with you, just like you carry a wish. And if the wish comes true, then you take it to a stream and throw it in after thanking it."
"And if it doesn't?"
Veritas notes with satisfaction how smooth the chestnut feels under his skin, and how pleased you look upon catching him shift it between fingers.
"Then you return it to the ground, bury it somewhere, and let it bloom when spring comes."
A charming sentiment, even if you kept waving your hands dismissively. There'd been no deeper meaning behind it, just a parent taking measures to keep little hands occupied.
It was sweet, the memories painting your eyes with colors he couldn't imagine never getting to see again. Time worked differently with you, it always did, and too soon did the evening air chill.
Several hours had passed, time that Veritas should have spent studying, had allocated in his schedule for completing at least two assignments. Yet he couldn't quite find it in himself to mourn.
"Here," he removed his scarf to bundle it around your neck, deft hands adjusting it to let you breathe, "you were shaking, maybe it's time to head inside?"
Something foreign drifted through your eyes and held him captive, leaning forward like this would make it so easy to-
Your lips were just as forgiving as your words, molding perfectly against his even in the brief moment before his mind caught up and he pulled back.
An apology was at the tip of his tongue, cheeks already heating up and mind thrown into a frenzy unrivaled by the most advanced calculations.
All thoughts of your friendship souring turned to dust when he saw you stand, throwing your chestnut as far towards the little lake nearby as you could.
Oh.
With a thundering heart, Veritas pocketed his own chestnut, unable to resist the urge to give it a little pat.
"Wait- you still have yours? Veritas what did you wish for?"
A laugh bubbled from his chest at your expression morphing from bliss to pure petulance, the sound sending flutters through his body, how rarely he could let go.
And always in your presence.
"Veritas! It's not funny, it would've been so romantic!"
He merely hummed, enjoying the fleeting heat of your skin as he brushed a lock of hair behind your ear, "perhaps I wished for something less fleeting."
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meimi-haneoka · 2 days
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༻✦༺ Welcome! ༻✦༺
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Last update Sept. 26th, 2024
Hello and welcome to my main blog, my little home where I share my love for Cardcaptor Sakura and CLAMP works to the world! ✨
I'm Cinzia, she/her, Italian. Aged in a barrel of hyperfixations and daydreams. You might wonder, why this blog url if this is mainly a CCS blog? Well, when I opened this blog more than 10 years ago I was heavily focused on Kaitou Saint Tail, but when I started posting more and more about CCS, at some point I realized it was too late to change url or all the links to the posts I had shared around would become broken.
Regardless! I have closely followed the serialization of Cardcaptor Sakura Clear Card ever since it began and my monthly commentary became something more when I realized the official English translation wasn't doing justice (to use an euphemism) to the original Japanese version. My friends and other fans in general were left confused and misguided by the countless translation mistakes (some to the point of changing the plot), so I started pointing them out in my monthly posts.
I also post other kind of stuff, like reports of CLAMP Spaces when they talk about CCS, or long time ago I posted summaries of interviews with the staff of the Clear Card anime. I plan to eventually translate those fully, considering my skills with Japanese language improved since then. But please remember that "English is not my first language" etc etc., so if some sentences sound weird, you already know why. Now that the manga is over, I post with irregular schedule some in-depth analysis and trivia about the story, examining one topic at a time. Despite being a CLAMP fan and loving other stories as well, I chose to focus on and dedicate myself to CCS in particular, due to time and limited mental resources. Thinking about following me? That's great, thank you! ✨ But if there's an idiom I love, it's "good fences make good neighbours", so please make sure to understand what kind of blog you're about to follow. I consider this my fandom home so additionally to those posts I mentioned above, I also unapologetically post about the ships I love. I love to analyze, I like to theorize. I don't disguise, I don't tiptoe.
I am a CCS fan born in SyaoSaku, and reborn with YunaAki, with currently a preference for the latter ones. If you're curious to know what my POV on this pairing is, you can get a very clear idea looking at my #yunaaki and #cosmos & crystals hashtags . If for any reason that's not ok with you, you're absolutely free to unfollow or even block me. In fact, I encourage you to do so. I'm here on this site to enjoy what I like, not to make anyone miserable. Unkind asks will be ignored; attempts to "lecture me" about what is acceptable and what not, what I can like and what not will probably be laughed at (I'm old for this stuff, it doesn't work with me). On the contrary, if you like YunaAki too, you'll be more than welcome here! Send me a message to share our headcanons! ✨
Now that we've cleared that up, here you can find the real reason why I wanted to make this new introductory pinned post: a convenient list with links to all my relevant posts, organized by category! I will update this list as I add new posts, so always check the date at the top for new additions! 👍
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Cardcaptor Sakura Clear Card: commentary + translation differences
(started at chapter 41 because that's when I got access to ENG scans) Collected under the hashtag #translation differences . The first posts might be a bit overzealous, as I was getting the hang of it. TBA: I have a bigger project for this in the works, an easier way to browse through all the relevant translation differences, divided by chapters and volumes, starting by chapter 1 (even marked by severity).
41 || 42 || 43 || 44 || 45 || 46 || 47 || 48 || 49 || 50 || 51 || 52 || 53 || 54 || 55 || 56 || 57 || 58 || 59 || 60 || 61 || 62 || 63 || 64 || 65 || 66 || 67 || 68 || 69 || 70 || 71 || 72 || 73 || 74 || 75 || 76 || 77 || 78 || 79 || 80 || Epilogue || Short stories 01 || 02 || 03 || 04 || 05 ||
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Cardcaptor Sakura Clear Card Trivia series
All about Clear Card, from the most mundane trivia to the deepest thematics presented in it. Collected under the hashtag #clear card trivia .
Clear Card Trivia 1 ~ Literary and musical references/mentions in Cardcaptor Sakura Clear Card
Clear Card Trivia 2 ~ Alice in Clockland and its meaning in Cardcaptor Sakura Clear Card
Clear Card Trivia 3 ~ Sakura's journey of growth and self-understanding throughout Cardcaptor Sakura Clear Card
Clear Card Trivia 4 ~ The most ancient Magicians of Europe, the Magic Association and their role in Clear Card
Clear Card Trivia 5 ~ Real life models of buildings featured in Cardcaptor Sakura Clear Card 🆕
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Cardcaptor Sakura Clear Card Timeline
An easy-to-read timeline of the events and facts depicted in Clear Card, placed correctly in chronological order inside the bigger Cardcaptor Sakura story.
Cardcaptor Sakura Clear Card Timeline
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English translations of short stories and Drama CDs
Cardcaptor Sakura Clear Card BD vol. 8 one shot
Card Captor Sakura Clear Card Arc - Drama CD part 1
Card Captor Sakura Clear Card Arc - Drama CD part 2
Clear Card manga volume 10 Special Edition bonus - Mini Book
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Sakura & Syaoran parallels in CCS and TRC
Discontinued, even though I know there are more. Who knows, maybe one day I'll continue it! Collected under the hashtag #syaosaku parallels .
1 ~Hands~ || 2 ~Pinky Promises~ || 3 ~Hugs~ || 4 ~”Tell me”~ || 5 ~Desperate hug~ || 6 ~Scream and shout~
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CLAMP Space reports
Reports and in some cases translation of entire chunks of conversation from CLAMP Spaces on Twitter.
July 30th, 2021 || September 5th, 2021 || March 27th, 2022 || April 4th, 2022 || August 7th, 2022 || October 24th, 2022 || November 8th, 2022 || December 28th, 2022 || January 4th, 2023 || May 5th, 2023 || January 8th, 2024 || April 1st, 2024 ||
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Interviews with the Clear Card anime staff and cast
Highlights and recaps of the interviews released during the period of broadcasting of the Clear Card anime. If you want to know what kind of feelings and ideas Clear Card was made with, as well as the origin of the 25th anniversary project (which turned into Clear Card), check these out. I plan to translate these entirely, so this list is only temporary, waiting for the complete interviews.
Interview with CCS Clear Card producer Chiyo Kawazoe in Animage 12/2017
Morio Asaka x Sakura Tange interview in Newtype 05/2018
Highlights of Morio Asaka’s interview in the Starter Book
Interview with Yukana (Meiling’s VA) in Animage 06/2018
Interview with Sakura Tange and Motoko Kumai in Animage 07/2018
Interview with Sho Saito (Nakayoshi editor) and Nozomi Matsuura (CCS copyrights manager) in Animedia 07/2023 (full interview)
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Other random stuff collected under hashtags:
My fanarts
My fics for YunaAki (to be moved soon)
Enjoy your stay! ✨
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ashblooddragons · 2 days
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The Red Queen (Chapter 5/?)
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(I'm so sorry for the wait! I had horrible writer's block this month and am still figuring out a writing schedule. I know I said this would be posted yesterday but I had stayed up all night so you all wouldn't have to wait anymore, lol!)
111 ac
Daemons pov
I watch as my dear wife breaks her fast, she feasts on mutton as if it’s the finest roast in all the Seven Kingdoms. Gods these Vale men truly do love their sheep, they must fuck them and then eat them. Makes one wonder if you should worry for the whores, must be why their options in the brothels are so abysmal. As she eats I can’t help but feel a sense of rage that I had to leave you in tears just so I can sit here and have glaring matches with this Bronze Bitch. The thought of you brings back the memory of when I left. I don’t think there is a moment where I don’t think about it.
“No! Please don’t leave! Please! You promised! You promised you’d never leave me!” You sob out as you tug as hard as your little body can on the sleeve of my doublet. You are trying with all your might to hold me to your room and never let me leave. 
Your reaction is not blameworthy, for the last time I visited my Bronze Bitch was when you were only one nameday old. You have not had a day in your memory where I was not there by your side ready to wipe your tears or play whatever game you have come up with, most likely with the help of Lady Laena. 
I kneel in front of you and hold your hands in mine, I can’t help the ghost of a smile when you rest your head on my chest, trying to hide from the inevitable. “Your father, the King, has demanded this of me, my girl. If I could stay you know I would, but I cannot defy the King.” I say calmly as I stroke your hair.
You lift your head and look up at me, and I swear my heart shatters when I see those traitorous tears roll down your little face, those poppet lips pouting and trembling. I’ve never wished to kill my brother, but your little face looking so heartbroken makes me wonder if the day may yet come. The urge to release his shoulders of the dead weight of his head is 
“Bu–but Stromchaser will miss Caraxes. They took her babies. She's been so sad, and now she's losing Caraxes? Don’t do that to my Stormchaser.” You plead helplessly, trying to find any way for me to stay. A desperate little girl trying to keep her beloved Kepus from leaving her. 
I think about the day the Dragonkeepers had taken Stormchaser’s clutch. She went searching for them as if her very life depended on it, but since they keep the dragon eggs hidden in the deepest smallest caves she couldn’t find her clutch. Well more like she couldn’t reach her clutch. Supposedly Caraxes killed the ones who took them, exacting revenge on those who brought his girl’s pain.
“I know, Sweetling and Caraxes will miss his girls just as I will.” I say as I caress your cheek.
Just as I was about to climb on my horse to go to the dragonpit I heard your little voice yell out. “Wait!” I look back and see you running towards me holding your stuffed Caraxes and Stormchaser I had made for you. Your Nursemaid is trying to keep up and calls you back but you’re determined to get to me.
Once you caught up to me you held out your stuffed Stormchaser. You must see my confusion as you explain why you have the stuffed toy outstretched towards me. 
“So you and Caraxes don’t forget about your best girls.”
 I can’t help but smile and take the proffered gift. “Of course, and Caraxes staying so you and Stormchaser don’t forget about us?” I ask fondly but I am then confused when you shake your head. 
“Me and Stormchaser aren’t old like you and Caraxes, Kepus, we don’t need to worry about our memories like you two do.” You say matter-of-factly, and I can’t help the burst of laughter that erupts from me.
“Of course, you girls are looking out for us.” I say smiling.
“Princess please, it is time for your lessons!” your nursemaid says from where she stands far behind you.
“You best be going, Sweetling.” I say as I motion the nursemaid forward as I can tell you will most likely not be moving of your own volition. Once she has you in her arms I get on my horse and look at you one last time seeing you fighting your tears as I leave you. 
The only thing on my mind since then was yours and Stormchaser's cries. Yours for your dear Kepus to ‘come back!’ and Stromchaser calling for her friend, her bonded, her ma–
I’m cut out of the memory by a runner coming over to me holding a sealed scroll. “Fr-from Kingslanding, my Prince.” The boy says as he tries to catch his breath. 
I take the scroll and wave him away, the boy scurries off without question more than likely having to do another task that is of importance. I look at the seal and sigh in annoyance when I see it’s my brother's. Most likely reminding me of the lack of Children in my union and that I must change that. Why he thinks sending this missive will change anything about my union, I do not know.  I break the seal and look at it ready to storm out of this dining hall to train or fuck the day away, but instead, a smile comes to my face. 
It seems my brother has allowed you to send me a letter using his seal. The only words on the page is “I miss you Kepus.” and under is a stick figure drawing of me and you with Caraxes and Stormchaser flying in the sky behind us, or at least that is what I assume those blobs are as it seems you made wings for them.
I can’t remember what happened between me opening your letter, and me flying back to Kingslanding. But one thing is clear, unless my brother exiles me I will never leave your side again, and even then it will not be without challenge on his part.
I wait outside the gates of the Red Keep watching as Caraxes and Stromchaser fly through the sky together finally reunited. Right when I landed your winged beast came bursting out of the dragonpit, not even the strongest and most experienced Dragonkeepers could stop her. 
I keep wishing to twist the Valyrian steel rings my father and grandsire gave me but am reminded that they are now gone for what I had made for you. I look down at the one my mother gave me, so small it barely fits on my pinky finger and if I took it off most likely would never be able to get it back on, I could not bring myself to give up one of the few things she had given me before her passing. 
Once the gates open I get off my horse quickly as I see you sprint towards me, not even seeming to care that your father and mother call out to you. I bend down and scoop you up as you hold onto me as tightly as your little arms can. 
“I missed you so much, Kepus! Please never leave me again, I was so lonely without you.” you say as you cling to me as if, if you let go I will disappear.
Surely I should feel sorry for your loneliness but I can’t seem to find any type of sadness for you, only satisfaction that you need me no matter what that Cunttower says. I know a part of your loneliness was that your dear friend Laena had to return to Driftmark for the moon a week after I had departed, but I decided to push that thought to the side and smile knowing you need me to abate your loneliness.
“I missed you as well, ñuha riña, and trust me I will never leave you unless your father demands it of me.” I say. You look up at me and frown, not liking that I may leave you again, but Instead of crying or throwing a fit you nod pouting as you hide your face in the croak of my neck again.
(my girl)
When I walk over to my brother he smiles and rests his hand on my shoulder. “I’ve missed you, brother, I hope your time with your wife was fruitful?” he states and asks. 
Of course, he is worried about if I stuck my cock in that woman's cunt. Does he not get that if I did sheath myself in her it would either wilt away or be cut off by the razorblades in her blasted cunt? And even if I did try, there is no way something so innocent could grow in that septic chasm the Maesters call her womb. 
I only hum in response and turn my attention back towards you. You are watching as Caraxes and Stromchaser fly through the sky together, it almost seems as if they are dancing through the sky as if they are showing the world how dragons truly dance.  
“I seem to recall another pair that is not yet complete.” I say as I reach into my satchel and hold your stuffed Stormchaser. You gasp theatrically and hold the toy close as you smile up at me. I had made sure that it would not be stained in any way, going as far as making sure the maids of Runestone did not touch it.  
As I carry you into the Red Keep you tell me the story of why Lady Laena’s dragon was called Mongrel. “She liked to eat dogs! Can you believe that? When Laena found out she scolded Moonfyre, I’ve never seen Moonfyre so sad.” 
“That is most displeasing.” I say smirking as you nod enthusiastically, far too young to catch the hint of sarcasm in my voice. Gods I wonder how you would react if you ever find out that Caraxes has feasted on people. 
“And did you know Stromchaser was known as Grey Ghost? Supposedly because she was so shy they could only see in the clouds and mist, like a ghost, and because of the clouds and mist she appeared grey instead of white. At least that is what Maester Mellos told me in my lessons.” You say excitedly. I do not have the heart to tell you most know of this fact, for it is new and wondrous to you so I will listen diligently, as I do most things you tell me that I already know. 
After supper, you are still so hyper that you are running around your chambers as I pretend to chase you. I should not have snuck you that extra piece of cake, for everyone knows sugar to children is like a cup of coffee to a man. But you looked so darling clutching that fork in your precious tot fingers I just couldn’t say no when you requested another. 
When I pick you up you squeal in delight, as I tickle your sides until you beg for mercy. I sit you on your bed and pull out a gift for you from my pocket. I hold out a bracelet made of Valyrian steel, with pearls and a ruby on the chain, there is a dragon charm to represent the blood of the dragon that flows through you. “This is for you, ñuha riña. It is Valyrian steel for now, me and you share something of our shared lineage.” I say as I clasp the bracelet to your little wrist and kiss your palm once it is fitted. 
You gasp and look at the bracelet touching the pearls and ruby. “I love pearls and rubies, it’s beautiful Kepus! I’m never taking it off!” You say as you hug me tightly. 
I only smile and kiss your brow as you admire your new gift, when I look to your door I see Rhaenyra seething. I brush it off as I usually do with that over-dramatic girl I call niece.
Rhaenyra’s pov
I watch as Daemon teaches you High Valyrian, he’s always done such things with you but never once in my memory has he done so with me. You so effortlessly captivate his attention whereas I must fight for it, and even then I am lucky if it is a forced smile. And now you have something I’ve always wanted, something I’ve begged Father for, for the past three years. A piece of Valyrian jewelry. 
You get everything I’ve wanted so easily. A dragon at the age of three, while I had to wait till I was the age of seven before Father let me into the dragonpit. A larger dragon than my beloved Syrax, so now everyone only speaks of that or that your Stromchaser was a wild dragon. What a silly little name. 
You have a friend you share interests in while I have Alicent, a kind girl if not a dull one. 
And the one that boils my blood the most, is that you have Daemon’s love and affection. I have desired this, him, for as long as I can remember. But does he look my way? No, of course not, for why would he waste his time on a girl who is almost a woman grown instead of a child? 
The only thing that brings me respite is that even if he did marry you, you’d only be his broodmare to pump his children into while he would seek me for true pleasure. I am called the Relams Delight for a reason.
I’m cut out of my mussing when my Father walks up to me. “I know you wish for something of our Valyrian heritage. I have been working hard to find the perfect one, I had not known that Daemon would give up his rings to have something made for your sister. Know I have not forgotten your request, my beloved girl.” He says as he strokes my cheek. 
I suppose there truly is something I can beat you at, our Father's love.
I personally see this as Princesses bracelet. The green bead is a ruby and the silver beads are pearls.
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@sugutoad @baybaybear1 @ilikefelines @sachaa-ff
big thanks to my wonderful friend @sugutoad for making the banner for this fic.
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hammerhead-jpg · 5 months
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Helloh:D Helloh:D
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Abt me post try two!!!!
Helloh helloh my name is Kristian (pronounced "Kris-tee-an" because I just found out not everybody knows that) and I'm here to post some of my art and ramble about the media I'm currently interested in
I'm 16 years old, currently residing in Serbia, transmasculine and queer and my pronouns are they/he!!
I'm a digital artist basically my whole life goal is to improve my art (so although it may hurt ouch) criticism of my art is welcome (constructive criticism that is) (I don't really couldn't just saying "*insert part of the drawing* looks bad" as criticism :P)
If you wanna know which fandoms I'm in or what media I'm interested in:
-Redacted audio! I feel like most of my follower know me for my redacted posts and 90% of my posts are about redacted but just so you know this isn't a redacted fan blog or a strictly redacted based blog it's just the media I'm currently obsessing about!!
Always known as a #1 Vega lover (despite my favorite character being Lasko :P) and redacted fanartist (and sometimes fanfic writer)
-Bungou stray dogs (biggest sigma truther!!!)
-Mha (tiktok 2020 fandom and Instagram MHA oc community survivor🔥🔥)
-Don't hug me I'm scared
-Chainsaw man
So on and so forth
Btw little disclaimers for my account:
-I'm sorry if I don't reblog enough posts! I'm still quite new to tumblr and rebloging often isn't a part of my muscle memory quite yet!
-I'm sorry if I don't respond to your compliments about my art! I just sometimes get nervous about responding/don't know what to respond with/procrastinate too long and ten worry it's too late to respond but alo of your comments have a special place in my heart and I appreciate it so much!
-you can tag me in tag chains and stuff but I can't guarantee I'll continue them because I'm too nervous and stuff:)
-my account isn't necessarily nsfw but it isn't quite sfw either, obv I don't think I'll be posting anything actually explicit (except for maybe drawn blood and gore??) (Before any of y'all start saying "weeh weeh you're a minor you shouldn't be posting NSFW!" It's NOT ACTUALLY NSFW OKAAYYY) but there definitely will be discussions of heavy themes and pervy jokes and implications so consider it like like 13+ but anything that is more spicy than a dick joke I will be putting a warning on
You are not welcome on this blog if you:
-are racist, homophobic, transphobic, xenophobic, abelist a zionist ect ect
-are a proshipper or thinks sexualizing children fictional or not is okay
On another note: if you're uncomfortable with a minor talking about nsfw ish topics you're free to block me
This is a safe space! I don't care if you're a furry, therian, use xenopronouns/neopronouns or xenogenders I'm cool with whatever
My art tag is #hmrhd arts and a tag for my wip story is #hmrhd pfl
Have a lovely life, stan Adam always and free Palestine
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daisythornes · 4 months
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speedrun of things that cause me agony in the wondla tv series trailer:
whyyy did they have to make the sanctuary so sterile and minimalistic? the book sanctuaries had this charming clunky 70s sci-fi design to them – they were blocky and durable and Eva's was tangibly lived-in, even worn in some places, because that was the point! they were an experiment that outlived their usefulness, but people kept living in them & they felt like it. this feels like Kim Kardashian's creepy white torture house.
"this... is me." has this line not become extremely passé in trailers, like almost to the point of parody?
that is NOT Muthr. idk who that is, but she is not mothering. it's like they took her book design and stripped away anything that may have been even slightly challenging to the cocomelon-smoothed zeitgeist of current animation. she's just so... nothing. she doesn't even look like a robot so much as like.. the lame soul design from pixar's soul. book Muthr looked WEIRD, but you can see the ways in which she's literally a synthetic + superhuman recreation of a Mother Figure: her head shape mirrors the beehive hairdo, her big eyes are saccharine sweet, she has four arms bc she always needs to do a million things at once, etc. i get that this version of Muthr was probably way easier to animate, and i don't even think they had to stick to the original design 100% as long as they still did something interesting for her, but. they didn't.
rip Eva's sick as hell hairstyle. :( seriously, her complicated braids were so important. bc 1) they were an homage to Dorothy's braids in the wizard of oz, the book to which the whole trilogy is a love letter. 2) they immediately gave her a unique visual identity as a character. 3) they contributed to the world of Wondla feeling genuinely strange and foreign to our current one. 4) they subtly spoke to things like Eva's boredom and loneliness and all the time she had to herself.
the paltry mini braids and single low bun they gave her instead are WEAK. again, they didn't have to follow the books to the letter, but. they did kinda need to give us something more memorable and distinctive than this.
i mean... there is ofc the obvious question of why'd they make her 16 instead of going on 13 like she was in the books? but also, perhaps even more crucially, why does she look like a whole ass adult woman? wondla is very much a coming of age story, and it's really good at capturing the messiness of that experience in every way down to its character design. this Eva doesn't look messy, she looks like an influencer. also i hate that current disneyesque cgi character design.
her outfit's like... fine. but it was so fucking cute in the books. cute and ultra utilitarian, and unlike anything i'd ever really seen before. can't a girl have a vest with a funky collar, cool billowy balloon sleeves, and scrunchy knee socks? do yknow how many kids would want to be Eva for halloween if they simply gave her an outfit that looked cuter? they're leaving money on the damn table.
she wasn't done with her training for life on the surface in the books, and that was important. :/ not that anything could've really prepared her, but the fact that she was so young made her terror and anger all the more palpable. i guess i don't think it's inherently terrible for her to be a bit older in adaptation, but idk, at least let her retain that trial by fire/still kind of a scared kid quality that's integral to her arc.
the placement of the 'wondla' letters on the page makes no sense. it's meant to be the wonderful wizard of oz (or the wonderful wizard of oz by l. frank baum. i forget which, but ONE of those for sure), so by all accounts the l and a shouldn't be right next to each other like that, there should be more space between those two letters.
now i don't fully remember, but i super don't think that 'Eva find me' note was in the books. Eva would've been way more obsessed with it if it was. in the books, she doesn't know the 'wondla' page was actually left for her, it's just this strange anomaly she finds that gives her hope, but she sort of creates that hope herself. its origin is an honest to god mystery until the second book, and therefore, the meaning that Eva gives it is what really comes to define it.
it's not just that no one had seen a human in a long time, most aliens on Orbona had never seen a human at all until Eva came along. that's a big difference! though, this audio does sound chopped up from multiple sentences, so maybe disregard this.
i don't like that they gave away the 'Orbona was once Earth' twist right off the bat. i know it's not a wholly original trope in sci-fi, but this is a middle-grade/family series, and it straight up blew my mind to see as a kid that hadn't ever really read true sci-fi before. and Orbona is SO bizarre, and Eva is SO desperate to find other humans, that the reveal is extra jarring and bleak, and it creates such powerful tension. why give the impact of that away in the trailer?? why not just let people think she's stuck on an alien planet until they get the full emotional gut punch when they actually watch it for themselves?
where's the lake in Lacus? :/ that was... kinda the basis of Lacus' culture and design and all. like ok i see some water, but Lacus should be almost more water than village.
Otto's design!! why god why.
why is Otto furry, why are his eyes Like That, etc.
nooo, don't show the ruins of New York in the trailer, that's for the audience to discover in horror along with Eva.
also why does Otto (i think that's him talking at least?) sound like that? thumbs down.
what are the. uh. shark tale-looking creatures running on water. they're very shark tale-looking (derogatory). they don't look like they belong in this series?? like did this footage just get misfiled?
egads it's coming out at the end of this month. i'm gonna watch it of course. but the whole time i'll be thinking about what could've been. and i'll reread the books, too. >:|
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boy in silly sitting positions compilation
#cats#I especially like the last one where he just has one single paw poking out of that box for some reason lol#I still have costumes to post and like a billion other things.... grr... constantly failing at staying active on social media aughh#I think because currently my Main Focus is on trying to get my game done and stuff.. which basically just means sitting and writing all day#so there's not much to post about. Though I know the Good At Social Media thing to do would be to post about the#writing and share progress and talk about the game and characters or whatever to try to build interest or something but that is SOOO weird#to me.. I could maybe get it if it was like a tiny tiny discord groupchat of playtesters with like 5 people in#it.. But something about talking openly about things before they happen is weird to me?? Like presumptuous feeling or something#''oooo guess whats gonna happen LATER!!!'' like.. how do you know.. what if it doesnt. what if you dont finish it. what if its not the way#you think it's going to be. what if something changes. etc. Like I literally avoid movie trailers and game trailers for the same reason ghj#Even if it's not ME doing it it just feels... weird.. Maybe it has to do with my OCD and how I just don't like talking about ''future''#things in Certain Terms. Like if I was going to say ''Oh yeah sure. come over to my house in a few months''. I would have to follow it up#with like ''HOPEFULLY you can come over to my house in a few months'' or 'They'll come over in a few months MOST LIKELY''. Because just#stating that something will happen matter of factly takes for granted like.. what if somehting horrible happens and I DONT have a house#in a few months? or what if something bad happens to me. or to the person coming over? I can't ever DEFINITELY say with 100% certainty#that one could ACTUALLY come to my house in a few months. anything could change. So I have to allot for that in my phrasing. hbjjkn#There are a lot of situations where you're expected to just Assume Things but for some reason that bothers me. My brain literally does not#even Assume the most basic things.. like how do *I* know that just because it's someones birthday that they want to be wished a happy#birthday? what if they dont? everyone is different and has different preferences. I should check with them first. or wait until they public#ly announce that theyre accepting birthday wishes. I have to allot for all 5034859069 rare possibilities at any given time and never take#anything for certain. etc. ghjbjhbh.... ANYWAY.. I have been feeling a bit sick lately as usual.. but still slowly making progress on some#things. Moslty I need to edit costume photos. make sculptures. and work on the game. Going back reading some of the old writing from like#2018 and suprisingly I don't have to change that much of it? In fact I like it mostly. so that's good. I would be very interested if I were#playing the game myself. Though that doesnt mean much since my tastes are so niche lol..#Still really want to clear some of my million tumblr drafts as well... alas and aughh and ooughh and so on and so forth. Between all of my#evil appointments other such things...why cant I have one billion dollar to retire into relaxed hermit artist life of no stressors.. bleas
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st4rstudent · 10 months
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Ok the fandom wiki is back to normal as of earlier, so if you accidentally stumble upon it, it'll be fine.
However please make sure to keep using the New and Improved Wiki, which is not only easier to navigate and is more pleasant, but also the new preferred wiki. (Not only to mention the various issues that Fandom wiki has). Bookmark it or something if you need to.
As future reference, it should be noted that vandalism on the fandom wiki will not help take the wiki down due to fandom's policy, despite previous otherwise thoughts (myself included) and the continuous vandalism only brings traction to it. As well as, mentioning the new wiki will have the possibility to demote and ban the current mods of the fandom wiki.
As silly as the entire thing was, please make sure to use the new wiki and refrain from going back to the old one. Especially since last night made the fandom wiki get a lot of traction.
As a reminder, here are some extensions you can use to help avoid using the fandom wiki: 1 (redirector) 2 (wiki.gg redirector) 3 (wiki indie buddy)
and here's the reddit post about it
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totheidiot · 6 months
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i hate that the solar eclipse just now serves as a reminder that nobody loves me.
#🍂 arian's shit#IT WAS SO BEAUTIFUL AND NOTHING HAPPENED. but yeah#i will always think of the solar eclipse i witnessed and think about that#two people one of them my friend the other i thought i could consider my friend but HE PROBABLY DOESN'T GIVE A SHIT.#they both talked and did their things and laughed and they are so damn close to each other it almost made me cry and reminded me that#it was such a profound moment too when i realized what was going on#they were in another world that didn't have me and i get that. i do. they have known each other for a year and i abruptly showed up#two months ago and one of them we are getting close she likes me around#at least i think#the other one he is nice he is supposed to be like this he is nice to everyone that is who he is#so what is happening: he is completely indifferent to me. most he did was remember my name and face. but he is nice.#i like them both so so much it almosg does hurt when i stood there awkwardly almost like i was intruding#and i realized that i have never not been close to anyone#no acquaintances all the friendships i have had they sre the reason why i live and i know that they live for me too#we have known each other since kindergarten. they held my face and cried and told me that i was love when i was leaving for the last time#they love me. i am sure of it.#but now i don't have anyone near whom i do love. people don't love me. i used to be love.#it also hurts that i am Average Person In The World#i am not funny. i do not have unique quirks. i do not have a single talent.#all i am good for is saying the wrong things all time.#even in my old life i was someone. someone who isn't the same as the person who saw the solar eclipse today and felt all this#i was the idiot. I WAS THE IDIOT. i was the writer person.#i don't feel like any of these things now. they had a thing in common: their capacity to love and be loved.#i love very easily but i am not an easy person to love.#vent post#god this is such a small little thing i am the most pathetic thing in the world#feel free to scroll away don't even read this shit#arian contemplates his universe
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u know what i've been thinking about. how the economy expects you to be, right now, at a job you've been at and consistently getting raises in for like, ten years. it's almost like the implication is "well yeah, you'll be able to live off this job in three, five, ten years if you stick with it and grow in the company" which is all fine and dandy, but i kind of need to live right now
#the queen of trash has spoken#rewrote this post six times and it turned into an essay both times and i don't really need it to lol#also thinking about the graphic i saw this morning that said the average spending power of $100 here is $41 compared to the national averag#which i guess? min wage is just over $16 here. but uhhhhhhhh i think my city is one of the most expensive in the state as far as cost of#living goes (not hard since we're the second largest city in a state of three decent sized cities and mostly large towns)#and its just crazy bc i look at my coworkers some of whom haven't been there much longer than me#who have kids and a house and stuff#and i realize oh. their husbands are engineers or lawyers. plus they're probably making more than me because they're team leads or managers#or have been there longer. meanwhile my 25 year old ass is making $20 an hour and my boyfriend is making $18 an hour#both doing highly-specialized work#and like. the idea that in ten years if i last that long both in the company and in this mortal coil#THEN i'll be making a living wage (in today's money)#is like. so wack! considering the fact that people really aren't staying in jobs for very long for various reasons#and for some positions the only way to get a raise is to move to a whole new company#it's just crazy! the fact that a 25 year old with a bachelor's degree can't even afford a fucking APARTMENT.#like everyone should be able to have housing obvs and the obvious solution to this is a universal basic income#but the fact that my experiencce in the economy is so different from my brothers (who is seven years older than me) and COMPLETELY#unrecognizable to that of my parents when they were my age. like i know billionaires are totally disconnected from reality#but in what universe is this a successful economy? /rq i know the answer i promise
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mossflower · 11 months
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loki season two has me screaming crying throwing up trying not to get dragged back into the mcu trenches
#i am stronger than this. i am better than this!!#by the trenches i mean consuming fanfiction at an unhealthy rate. fourteen year old me was insane i think i was on ao3 more than i slept#that’s not exaggeration. i was getting four hours of sleep on school nights and frequently went to bed at 5am on weekends#it is ONE good story. one. literally not worth it. i don’t even care about ninety percent of the mcu characters#i will ignore the little voice in my head reminding of the sheer amount of fanfiction. this was my pre-tumblr days#so my fandom interaction was like. youtube and ao3. maybe instagram posts sometimes. it was so much fun like. zero drama zero discourse#i was honestly living my best life. got less interested when i joined tumblr and went full doctor who mode#and after endgame i watched i think wandavision and loki and that was it. just didnt care anymore lol#i know exactly why this is happening tho. currently the thing i am insane about is my own damn project. which i am in the process of writin#for obvious reasons no fandom there. bc it lives in my mind twenty four fucking seven#i do wonder if i’m kind of growing away from fandom anyway? the closest i’ve got since toh ended was homestuck tbh#i want to feel obsessed with something again!! everything i’m into now - tma tlt and the like - i love them#but it doesnt hit like it used to. i don’t know it’s hard to explain#like video essays that i would have loved a few years ago!! the hour long ones about representation and queer media#they just irritate me now! i got halfway through one last week and had to bail i just could not care less#how did 2020 social media have me convinced that x character being gay was super important politically economically socially etc#ofc the answer is that i was a baby lesbian getting even less social interaction than normal#like representation is important obviously but also. sometimes it was not that deep#i don’t know if i’m making sense tbh but you get my drift#morganposting
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todayisafridaynight · 1 month
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I swear the way people talk about you stopping drawing DB stuff sounds like top ten anime betrayals people are bitter 😂
i dont even mention db really, very funny when it's brought up out of nowhere
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reflectionsofgalaxies · 2 months
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this is my little girl 💖
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she’s running low on time with us, and my dad has been saying things along the lines of ‘this is why I don’t like pets’, because he finds the grieving process so hard.
I don’t fault him for that, he just feels loss deeply and deals with it differently.
sometimes I even find myself falling briefly into the same thinking. ‘what if making a different choice all those years ago saved me and my family from this grief and this pain?’
but I also know there’s no way I would make a different decision. no amount of grief could outweigh the joy she’s brought us over these last fifteen years. the laughter, the comfort, the connection.
I think about hikes with my dad when she was tiny and able bodied and would race up ahead of us on the trails and then race back to check on us. I think about the first time she saw snow and she instantly turned into a tiny fluffy bunny rabbit, hopping through drifts that were ankle deep for us but nearly buried her, and the matted snowballs she came away with, looking like a tiny curly haired yeti.
I think of her interrupting GrammE and John’s wedding along with Sagie, confusion turning into laughter as they sped after each other across the backyard ceremony. I think of my mom, lonely on the island and isolated during covid, telling me that Ginger was her saving grace.
and these don’t even scratch the surface. fifteen years of love she’s given us.
so yeah. losing her is going to damn near break me and I know that. but I wouldn’t change it for the world.
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gifti3 · 6 months
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happy bday to me! 🎂🥳🎉
for this very special day i wanted to list and compare the presents and interactions i got in the mobile games ive been playing consistently lmao
under cut cause the pics are big
Time Princess A letter with 10 golden tickets, 100 stamina, and 10000 coins
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Obey Me! Nightbringer 1 UR+, UR, and SSR Joker each 3 Demon Vouchers 30 Karma Points 200 AP 30000 Grim 50 Devil Points Along with a bday video, birthday calls from the characters throughout the day and a UR guarantee for a 10 pull There's half-off on Devil Tree unlocks There's also special birthday dialogue in the Surprise Guests: -- the first Surprise Guest I did gave me 30 more Devil Points -- and you can press anywhere on the boys and get max hearts :]
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What in HELL is Bad They haven't implemented bday stuff yet so nothing (´。_。`)
Twisted Wonderland A Happy Birthday from the character you have set as your favorite card and a Tenfold Key Set (for rolls)
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and last but not least.....*drum roll* 🥁🥁🥁 Love and Deepsace! Special Happy Birthdays from each guy which include them singing happy birthday to you :3 Birthday Dialogue on the home screen Presents from each one (items you can use to decorate their desks) 500 Diamonds 5 Empyrean Wishes 1 Bottle of Wishes: SSR 1 Energy Capsule: Powerful And 2 birthday stickers
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#so whb is technically in last place but since its a newer game ill let it pass this year#so time princess is next in line for last place#its a fine gift but since they dont have any characters saying happy birthday it doesnt do much for me#nightbringer kinda surprised me!#i was expecting a call and some devil points#but this is a lot more then i expected :3c#also i go crazy for free UR+ Jokers#i was thinking of adding regular obey me but decided to skip it since i only really just log in for dailies for the most part#(and i dont even do that everyday if im not feeling it)#also theyre practically the same minus the calls (but i have the old ones that i havent listened to yet still)#twst was cute nothing too crazy#(thank you for ur presence lilia)#i liked love and deepspaces happy bdays from the characters a lot because they sang lmao 😭#also i feel very special from them saying all this nice stuff about hoping that i get what i want and that i stay healthy and stuff dwsiiws#it feels like obey me has more in character interactions BUT when i think it about it more#deepspace has the models actually hand you gifts#also the moment you have with the characters feels more personal#but tbf theres more obey me characters and you do get those calls throughout the whole day! (also they give more stuff imo)#so i cant really pick which one i liked more :d#dutp#obey me nightbringer#twisted wonderland#love and deepspace#im now 26....#oh jeez#long post#still doing the same shit i was doing in middle school uashusha (i mean playing dating games)#my personality has refined over the years tho#anyways im gonna celebrate tomorrow with my family :]#this is the end of my post tho ill probably post about the asmo phone call later
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good morning!! <3
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tiny-cloud-of-flowers · 11 months
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(last one i promise) (SORRY FOR ALL THE ASKS) for felix!! how did you come to see catarina as a sister ?? whats your favorite thing to do together when theres free time ??
(IT’S ALRIGHT, ANYONE CAN ALWAYS SEND AS MANY ASKS AS THEY WOULD LIKE TO!)
Felix: “Taking some time off from your usual expeditions, are we? Well, it’s good to see you in good spirits.
To answer your first question, that.. took a bit of time. You know what I was like back at the academy, after all. I didn’t actually get to meet Catarina until partway through the year, since it was only then that we ended up in the same house, but.. I’ll admit she caught my attention pretty quickly. She’s never trained as often as me, but we ended up arranging to spar together a lot, and that’s really how things got started. I’d say we have quite similar ways of fighting, so that common ground helped us to build up a connection, and then.. we started talking about other things than training, somehow. I suppose it was just- refreshing, to have someone around who had such an outside perspective. She may have roots in Faerghus, but the fact she wasn’t raised there, or raised to uphold the same typical values the Kingdom prides itself on - or even anywhere else in Fódlan - meant that.. there’s a lot I felt I could talk to her about, in a way I just couldn’t with others. Also, she wouldn’t hesitate to give me a piece of her mind, or say what she thought about things. Not many others were like that, so it stuck out to me.
By the end of the year, it didn’t feel like we had developed the same dynamic I have with my friends - and I wouldn’t necessarily say it was any worse or better, it’s just.. there was something different about it. Maybe it’s because it was just something shared between the two of us, not a piece of a larger group setting. A closeness that almost seemed more natural, or permanent, than just friendship, even despite the much shorter time we’d actually known each other. What I mean by that is that.. Rina and I can talk about anything, and it’d never feel like what we had could just suddenly fall apart, no matter what we actually said to each other. In fact, I don’t know if we’ve ever fallen out in a serious way; we may bicker a lot over little things, but it’s always more playful than anything else - never as tense or able to suddenly escalate as it could be with others. So, that’s.. really where the whole “sister” thing started.
Oh, and for your second question - we still train together, a lot. Catarina prides herself on being a difficult opponent to strike, and I’m very familiar with that by this point, but it doesn’t make it that much easier to get a hit in on her. Sometimes it can feel like I’m fighting a mirage of myself when she’s more on the offensive, which.. is a strange feeling, but I think it’s good. She also keeps trying to help me with the magic side of things, which usually results in her taking a pile of books out of the library and dragging me somewhere to go read them with her until one of us gets bored. ..I’ll admit that seeing her own spellcraft in action has helped me gain a greater appreciation of magic than I used to have, but I’m still not close to her own proficiency. Then again, I know I’d overpower her if she wasn’t using magic, so me having greater physical strength can still be more useful than her balanced and more agile style. And, the magic I do know how to cast is already far above what most swordsmen could use or expect from me, so I still have the edge in most combat situations, even without being an expert.
I.. hope that all of this answers your questions. Feel free to stop by again if you want to ask more.”
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