#abuse memories

[house-of-slayterr]

Gotta love crying at 3am while being bombarded with childhood abuse revelations and memories…

[gertritude-art]

do younger people not know about t(-_-t ) anymore.... do they know about ( o3o) do they know about tilde abuse ~

[a-sip-of-milo]

It's always infuriated me hearing people say that children have it easy. It's only gotten worse as I've gotten older and have been able to reflect on my childhood and see the children around me grow up.

They do not have it easy. They don't get a say in most important things. They're seen is unintelligent, yet expected to understand things that full grown adults struggle with.

They've got a job, which is school, that is actually proven to not be working for a lot of them; myself included. They're expected to sit still and in silence for at least forty minutes at a time, and those with ADHD are treated as though they're immature and lazy because they often physically can't do it.

Far too many of them have abusive parents that lie through their teeth to make people think everything is fine, and of course, who would believe the child over the parent?

Aspects of abuse has been normalised. Parents are sympathised with when children open up about the things they've gone through, especially if they're not physical. They're told that their parents are only doing this because they love them, or that the child needs to start seeing things from their point of view. Meanwhile, adults can freely complain about their children on public forums and to friends and family and get away with it because "it's hard being a parent".

Fuck off and do better.

DNI Believers of narcissistic/borderline/anti-social/histrionic abuse.

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

anyone else have multiple traumatic memories associated specifically with holidays/family vacations? because that is a topic I never see discussed in all the So You Had A Shitty Childhood, Now What? self-help books i've been reading. but for me, it was a significant thing. and the more i think about it the more it seems like this would be an (unfortunately) common experience. would be grateful to hear if this matches other peoples' experiences...

[bunnieswithknives]

Dev this is serious stop beatboxing.

[pratchettquotes]

"Some of these are powerful nations, gentlemen. Many of them don't like Klatch's current expansionist outlook, but they don't like us much, either."

"Whyever not?" said Lord Selachii.

"Well, because during our history those we haven't occupied we've tended to wage war on," said Lord Vetinari. "For some reason the slaughter of thousands of people tends to stick in the memory."

"Oh, history," said Lord Selachii. "That's all in the past!"

"A good place for history, agreed," said the Patrician solemnly.

Terry Pratchett, Jingo

[cutecapybarapics]

[adult-human-gc-female]

Found this post today, and together with my experience of narcissistic abuse it kinda clicked.

People say what this person wants to hear.

✨ But this is not enough. ✨

People should sit like this person wants. People should think like this person wants.

They always want to control everything. Just like my abuser did. This is why I was always been so bothered by the pronouns. Because it is nothing less but control over the way I speak and think.

[eve-was-framed]

Rest in Peace to 11 year old Jayden Perkins, who was stabbed to death while protecting his pregnant mother from a former boyfriend who had just gotten off parole. Jayden loved dancing and theater, and had a lead role in several school plays.

His mother was attacked as well but is fortunately expected to survive.

[hyolks]

I would love to see more of your fma au!! Maybe more interaction with the boys and mustang or Riza? Maybe some of the other mustang crew members?

mustang frames the picture and puts it in the middle of the office

[simandy]

I hope your abuser steps on a lego today

[beebeedibapbeediboop]

Mancielle can't really talk because of her mandibles. So you bet she did the effort just for him.

[waitineedaname]

sorry im still so fucking unwell about the bingge vs bingmei extra. not only did he get this little glimpse into a world where he's loved, but he goes home with evidence of it on him -- the disciple robes, and the little braid sqq sneakily put in his hair. can you imagine bingge going back to his world and realizing there's a delicate little braid in his hair, put there by the shizun that loved him and treated him tenderly. im going to eat gravel.

[trans-axolotl]

content note: discussion of suicide.

this next monday will be the six year anniversary of losing one of my friends to suicide.

when he died, my high school barely mentioned his death, even though for other students who died by things like car crashes or illness, there were so many public expressions of grief. they believed that having any memorials for a student who died by suicide would encourage other people to die the same way. in their rush to erase the circumstances of his death, they erased the memory of his life.

there are so many things i am angry at that high school about in terms of how they treated mental health (mandatory reporting and collaborating with cops, their refusal to recognize the ways in which that system led to peer-to-peer crisis support, their refusal to recognize the ways that trying to keep each other alive through trial and error was scary and exhausting, carceral disciplinary policies, etc etc etc). but i think one of the things i am still angriest about is the way they enforced shame around his death. it felt like they were retroactively blaming him for the constellation of circumstances that made suicide an option in his life. it felt like they were blaming those of us who missed him and cared about him and wanted to grieve him. it made those of us still there who were actively suicidal feel even more scared about the reaction if we did reach out for help from one of those mythical safe adults.

as an adult now involved in psych abolition/mad liberation work, it makes me so fucking mad to see the ways in which he was discarded by people in authority positions. and the older i get, the more options i have found in my life for making sense of the world and finding healing and community and support which were never available to him because he died when he was 16 and the only things offered to him were a carceral psychiatric system that blamed him for his own fucking death. it feels so incredibly unfair.

i miss him and i think i always will; i can't remember his laugh or the sound of his voice or his favorite color any more and that aches. this grief is so heavy and it feels harder in a new way each year, when i become older than he will ever be. sometimes meeting new comrades or seeing new anticarceral suicide support models hurts because i wish so fucking bad that we had that back then. i remember how close we came to losing even more people that year and i know it is simple fucking luck that i'm still here when he's not.

i remember another letter (never sent) that i wrote to a friend while they were in an ICU bed after a suicide attempt when i didn't know if they would live or not. i have spent so much time in the past 10 years begging for anything to keep me and my friends alive, but even in that letter i knew that there is so much fucking violence that is hidden beneath psychiatric logics of cure and safety that promise a "solution" to suicide. I knew that institutionalization, coercion, and shame would not have helped build a life more liveable for him or **** or any of the people i've loved and lost since.

there needs to be more fucking options for care and support that aren't so incredibly cruel to suicidal people. i know so many people doing incredible work in alternatives, peer respite, a million different frameworks for healing and liberation. but it makes me so mad every day i have to live in a world where there are still people restrained, locked up in psych wards, having all autonomy and personhood taken away from them. knowing there are dozens of people every day getting blamed for their deaths the same way he was blamed for his.

i miss him. i cared so fucking much for him. and he died by suicide, and all of those things are true. he has been dead for 6 years and he lived before that and the people who loved him want to remember all of him; our celebrations of his life should not require hiding the way that he died.

Image description: [1000 origami cranes in all different colors and patterns that are tied together in strings of 25]

(these were the 1000 cranes we made to give to his parents, in memorial and recognition of how much he meant to us.)

[tsartistry]

Apollo may be a god, but Lester's brain is very human, with some very human security risks.

More doodles from that fic idea where Niobe kidnaps Lester Apollo and brainwashes him into thinking he's her human son, to get some long overdue revenge on Leto.

Niobe's covering her bases. She's not just relying on Circe's magic manipulating Lester's memories, she's stacking those effects with some hypnosis & even some (banned for being dangerous) attachment therapy techniques. Poor Lester's head is gonna be such a mess, it's gonna take more than water from the River Mnemosyne to sort him out.

[temporal-discounting]

So, we know Stede was bullied relentlessly as a child, both verbally and physically. The incident we actually get to see via flashback is, of course, the rowboat incident.

The rowboat incident itself is deeply sad. But what's even sadder to me is Stede's reaction to Nigel's mentioning of it. At first, he doesn't recall it. Only when Nigel keeps going with his 'hilarious anecdote' does a look of recognition cross Stede's face, and we see the flashback.

Why is this so sad? When we experience repeated events, it becomes hard to remember one specific instance. Our memory tends to shift from specific details to the general gist, such that we remember generalities, but we lose the details. We might forget entire instances, or mix up details from different events as they all blur together (a vulnerability of memory that is often used to discredit abuse victims btw).

The implication here is that the rowboat incident was just one experience against a pattern of sustained and repeated abuse, such that this one event is not even particularly memorable to Stede. Indeed, we hear about one other horrific incident (with the horse), and he was no doubt subjected to even crueller acts; ones that even Nigel wouldn't dare to pass off as a hilarious prank over dinner.

My heart absolutely breaks for Stede in this scene - for the man who has shouldered this trauma his entire life, and for the little boy who was relentlessly bullied.