#abusesurvivor

[blessingellyse]

WHY NARCISSISTS WANT CHILDREN 💯🎯⁉️📌

It Attracts A Lot Of Attention. Narcs Need Attention Far More Than Most People And Will Use Almost Anything To Get It Even Children And What Better Way Is There To Get Everyone’s Attention? Narcs Are Impulsive And Don’t Think Through Consequences So They’re Often Blind As To How Big A Commitment Children Are, Preferring To Focus On The Adulation Instead. Narcs Know That Word Travels Fast And If They Have An Ex They Want To Get At, They Might Have Children Just To Hurt Them. Especially If They Know That They Wanted Children Themselves. That’s How Petty They Can Be.

Narcs Hate Being Single And Certainly Don’t Welcome Someone Dumping Them. That’s Their Job So They Use Children As Insurance. Narcs Know That It’s More Difficult To Leave Them If They Share Children. Because Their Partners, Who Are Usually Empathic, Think Of Their Children’s Needs Before Their Own And Although May Be Unhappy In Their Relationship, Stay To Keep The Family Together. With Children In The Equation, It’s A Whole Different Ball Game. Because A Split Affects Them More Than The Couple And Many People Don’t Want To Be Responsible For Tearing A Child’s Family Apart. So They’re More Likely To Stay With The Narc Even If They’re Unhappy.

Increasing The Pressure To Stay In The Relationship Allows The Narc To Treat Their Partners Worse And Get Away With It. Narcs Learn How Far They Can Push Their Partners, Without Quite Pushing Them Away. They Learn Their Breaking Point And Push Them Just Bellow That Point. This Allows Them To Take As Much As They Can, Yet Keep Them Around So They Can Take Some More, Giving Them The Most Bang For Their Buck. The Breaking Point Is Likely To Be Much Higher When Children Are Involved Because No Right Minded Person Would Split A Family Over A “Minor Incident”, Which Narcs Are Experts At Making Them Seem. So The Bar Is Raised As To What Behaviours Would Spell An End To The Relationship, Allowing The Narcs To Get Away With More.

Even If The Relationship Ends, Children Still Play A Useful Role For The Narc. Because For 18 Years, The Narc Has Access To Their Former Partner And They Have The Law On Their Side. They Can Disappear And Do What They Want. Then When Things Turn Sour, Come Marching Back “For The Sake Of The Children". Narcs Don’t Particularly Care About Seeing Their Children. Which Is Why They Often Have Long Absences From Them, But They’re A Great Tool To Use To Get Their Feet Back Under The Table. Most Well Meaning Parents Won’t Deny Their Children Seeing The Other Parent. Even If They’ve Disappeared For A While. This Allows The Narc To Dip In And Out Of Their Life. And Work Their Charm If They Want Some Action. If The Narc Has Children With More Than One Partner, Then It’s Party Time. Because They Can Flit Between Several Peoples Lives. And When They Grow Bored, Discard Them And Move To Another.

Narcs See Their Children As Extensions Of Themselves And Some Want Children So They Can Live Through Them And Push Them To Accomplish What They Never Did. So They May Push Their Children To Become Doctors, Lawyers, Actors, Singers, Etc. Regardless Of What The Child Wants For Themselves And This Can Cause Problems Later In Life. It Can Be Like Fitting A Square Peg Into A Round Hole. People Need To Find Their Own Way, Based On Their Own Strengths, Weaknesses And Interests, But The Narc Is Too Focused On Their Own Ambitions To Consider This And Relentlessly Push Their Own Agenda.

The Narc Usually Takes Credit For Any Success The Child Has And Claims It’s Their Genes And Good Parenting That’s Responsible. To Outsiders They May Seem Like A Proud Parent, But The Only Pride They Really Have Is In Themselves. They See Children As A Boost To Their Profile. Because In Their Mind It Shows How Virile And Desirable They Are. Some Narcs See Children As A Numbers Game. The More They Have, The Greater They Must Be. So They Try To Have As Many Children As Possible, Despite Being Absent Parents.

Narcs Don’t Usually Have Strong Parental Instincts, So They Leave Most Of The Parenting To Their Partners And This Works Out Great For Them. Narcs Like To Saddle Their Partners With Children Because It Keeps Them Under Lock And Key. The Narc Knows That Their Partner Has Little Freedom When They’re Almost Solely Responsible For The Children And It Keeps Them Safely Tucked Away At Home Whilst They Swan Around Without A Care In The World. Parenting Is Draining And Narcs Like To Play The Energy Game With Their Partners. This Is Where They Tire Them Out Whilst Preserving Their Own Energy. This Allows Them To Dominate Their Fatigued Partner Because They Have Less Mental And Physical Strength To Fight Back.

Although Narcs Do Little Actual Parenting, The Outside World Doesn’t Know This And The Narc Talks A Good Game To Friends, Family And Co-workers, Creating The Impression They’re Doting Parents And Normal Functioning Members Of Society. Narcs Hide Behind A Family Persona To Disguise Their Dysfunctional Ways And It Can Work Wonders For Their Image And Reputation. Narcs Love People Thinking Highly Of Them. It’s An Ego Boost For One And It Also Helps Them Gain Attention And Favours Because People Are More Willing To Trust And Spend Time With People Who Are High Functioning. Narcs See Everyone Around As An Extension Of Themselves Rather Than As Separate Individuals. This Includes Their Own Children.

There Are Several Mistakes The Narc Parent Is Certain To Make During Their Counter-Parenting Journey. These Mistakes Will Undoubtedly Come Back To Haunt Them, Possibly Years Down The Line. Narcs Are So Self-absorbed They Fail To Stop And Consider That Children Eventually Grow Up And See The Damaging Behaviour With Their Own Eyes. Their Children Are Not Immune From Being At The Receiving End Of The Narc's Cycle Of ‘idealise And Devalue’, Where They Are Alternately Lovebombed, (Showered With Praise And Attention), And Then Subtly Devalued, Criticised, Withdrawn From And Put Down. This Leaves Them Confused And Hurt, And They Start Jumping Through Hoops To Please The Parent Enough To Re-Enter The Idealization Phase Again. This Is A Cycle That Repeats Ad Infinitum, Over And Over Again, Even When The Child Becomes An Adult Themselves.

Narcs' Children Will Be Triangulated And Played Off Against Others (Often Their Own Siblings Or Cousins), And Will Find Themselves Vying For The Narc’s Attention. They Will Be Gaslighted/Lied To By The Narc To The Point Where They Their Own Reality Is Dismissed As False, So That They Stop Trusting Their Own Perceptions Of Reality. They Will Be Demeaned And Shamed. If They Are Particularly Good At Something, Behind Closed Doors They May Find Themselves On The Receiving End Of The Narc Parent’s Jealously. Confusingly, The Narc May Then, In Front Of An Audience, Hold Up Their Child’s Talent As A Source Of Pride, As Just Another Way To Gain Positive Attention For Themselves.

It’s Not Surprising That Narcs Want Children For Selfish Reasons. Everything Else In Their Life Revolves Around Them, So Why Should This Be Any Different? But It’s Easy For Their Partners To Be Fooled Into Thinking That They Want Them For The Right Reasons, Especially When The Narcissist Knows What To Say. Narcs May Talk Romantically About How Children Will Bring Them Closer And How Much Joy They’ll Bring, Which Is All Very Appealing, But When The Children Arrive, The Harsh Reality Kicks In. The Narc Becomes More Narc Because They Can Get Away With It And Spends Little Time And Energy On Their Children Because They’re Still Hyper Focused On Themselves. Despite All The Promises They Made, The Sad Truth Is That Even With Children, Narcs Want Everything To Revolve Around Them And They’re Happy To Take The Focus Away From Their Children Because Deep Down, They’re Big Kids Themselves.

In Short, And To Put It Bluntly, Narcs Do Not Have What It Takes To Be Good Parents. They Cannot Put Another’s Needs First.

[haunted-whisperings]

when i look in the mirror i never trust what i see having trouble realizing me told what to do, what to feel where do i begin to find what is real i said no, “you mean yes” i guess not so sure anymore an uneven score wanting more do i deserve such i feel i have been missing much caught in a web of lies unheard for years, my many cries chains stay the course do you think he feels remorse overactive emotions dysfunctional neurotransmitters i’m not a quitter not even bitter i just need to know how do i go from here to there care self-distrust do i matter much it’s not a crutch i’m struck by a twist of fate stalemate maybe someone help me figure this out untwist my brain serotonin lost my mood the cost depressed on a quest to find my true mind real emotions presynaptic collapse my body reacts self-harm moving to my arm sound the alarm imperfections now found on my body’s sacred ground tell me the truth show me what to do is this true as tears drop shocked mediating tension hand is wrenching stainless steel again appeals to the theory of invalidation

[s0rethroat]

Please don't abandon me, I'll behave, I promise :(

[stumbling-after-happiness]

Carving into rock bottom and creating the highlights

When I don’t know what to do and I’m feeling my way over my life’s base, that’s when.

When there’s nothing but concreted pain pushing against my body.

When I’m trapped in a deep, drained swimming pool, searching for anything to lift me up.

That’s when I find myself scratching words into the barrier as though with broken nails. I let out the emo and the pain and the bad grammar.

I carve out concrete to prove that I can go lower.

And in this graffiti, I realise I can make words from depressions. That shadows define letters. And the letters mean I exist.

And I remember that these highlights wouldn’t be there if I hadn’t created them.

So I type myself a ladder, and I get the fuck out.

[writermemoir]

[introspectivelyrical]

broken, geneva

time was timeless there no ticking clocks only ticking tongues every time i pissed myself to come clean and i think my teeth are still wedged within those concrete walls i think my cracked voice still reverberates through those stained carpet halls i think i can’t forgive what i can’t forget and how can i forget? when my memories run laps like safety checks that felt more like encroaching…

[christelno]

Women rising❤️‍🔥 😝 #femaleportrait #selflove #femaledrawing #feminineart #rapesurvivor #abusesurvivor #womenempowerment #feministart #womensupportingwomen #divinefeminine #womenbodyart #feminista #equalrights #selfloveart #womenartists #activistart #goddessart #goddessrising #portraitdigital #feminist #cartooning #girlpower #artefeminista #mentalhealththerapy #illustração #semirealistic #genderequality #femalenudeart #visualsnack #feminismoilustrado https://www.instagram.com/p/CpMBpYhK91W/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[truecampbell]

When we are carrying burdens of the past, or struggling with healing and recovery, we see ourselves and others through the lenses we wear that filter, deny, or otherwise distort the truth.

[marie52391]

Today was a pretty regular day. I got to reflect on my blessings as I had an inmate tell me that they were ready to go home. I realize that my childhood may have been tough, but it could have made my adulthood much worse than what it is.

[cheyspodcast]

Quotes from episode 7 with @allthingsshati ❤️‍🩹 Link in bio!!

[onlinebookclub-org]

Book of the Day, March 29th -- Nonfiction, rated 5 stars

Temporarily FREE exclusively through the Onlinebookclub.org Review Team:

https://forums.onlinebookclub.org/shelves/book.php?id=644132

Developing Resilience: Secrets, Sex Abuse, and the Quest for Love and Inner Peace by Penny Christian Knight

Connect with the Author: @pennyk13

This book has earned a perfect 5 star rating from an official Onlinebookclub.org reviewer!

----------

In this book, you will discover the life of one survivor and how she repeatedly started over while learning things that made her smarter, stronger, and more peaceful.

This trilogy is about how one victim dealt with the devastation caused by multiple cases of sexual abuse, her search for love and healing, and in Book One, her life's journey up to her 33rd year between 1934 to 1966.

"Resilience isn't simply about enduring difficulties; it's about actively adapting and thriving in the face of them. I rate this book 5 out of 5 stars because it serves as a valuable guide for women worldwide.

The author showcases extraordinary courage in unveiling her life's most intimate and painful secrets, which to me is admirable. I recommend this book to those interested in memoirs, personal growth, survivors of abuse, and self-help." ~ OBC reviewer

https://forums.onlinebookclub.org/shelves/book.php?id=644132

[bossladykei]

On the Mountain by Riley Hart

Finished this today it was an interesting read. I enjoy it!!!!! Book Review: ***Spoilers here and there*** A lot that both Crow and Cyrus went through was sad. To see how Crow lost his mom was sad… he was so brain washed by Chosen that he didn’t realize and understand that his mom wanted better for the both of them. It took for him losing his mom for change to happened. For Chosen to go to…

[haunted-whisperings]

there has been a change in my vital signs something inside my mind has declined unwilling to further its investigation finally uttering true devastation do not put me on life support, a crutch though my skin is cool to the touch i believe i can hold on for a while longer offer me a transfusion, make me stronger or you could let me be, watch me float out to sea bury me there in the deep just a skeleton of who i used to be churning in the celestial ocean keeping an eye on my heartbeat's innermost motion do you think there might be a magical potion hidden in a subterranean cave beneath hoping to find something in which to sink my teeth holding my breath diving possibly to my death monsters of the depth follow my trail of blood wishing to feed from my flesh, trying to drag me through the mud black waters then envelope me

returned now to my home freed from the darkness, no longer needing to roam this is where i've longed to be, free no evil doers here, just me i need to speak my peace a simple question, rescue me please thought i could do it alone i need your help one more time place the tourniquet, make your pledge keep me from my final hemorrhage

~~~~~

"He:[she] who writes in blood and aphorisms does not want to be read, he:[she] wants to be learned by heart."

~ Friedrich Nietzsche ~

[s0rethroat]

[frnwhcom]

Jason Vukovich, known in the media as the “Alaskan Avenger,” is a figure whose story interweaves tragedy, vigilantism, and the complexities of the criminal justice system. His actions, driven by a traumatic past, have sparked significant debate on the nature of justice and retribution. Early Life and Childhood Trauma Born on June 25, 1975…

[evamadeln]

Ukrainian military release footage of British-supplied Challenger 2 tanks in operation [Video]