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#ace tag
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happy pride month to my fellow non-bitch needers
(edit: i made separate aro and ace ones, as well as oriented aroace, grey sexual/romantic, and one with the aro+ace combo flag :D so check that out if you want to)
(other edit: you can use these as pfps if you are inclined to do so! credit is appreciated but not necessary)
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oatflatwhite · 10 months
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💚💜💚💜💚💜💚💜💚
happy pride to all the twentysomethings on the aromantic and asexual spectrums who turned away from the identity for years because of the aphobic vitriol spouted on this website and have only recently come back around to accepting that part of ourselves because fuck you to all the people within the community who made us feel like we weren't a part of it. we are. we always will be.
💚💜💚💜💚💜💚💜💚
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talistheintrovert · 8 months
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BARBIE IS ASEXUAL THANK YOU FOR YOUR TIME
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raayllum · 1 month
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Demisexual Rayllum icons! Please give credit if you use <3
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dinah-lance · 2 years
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Before you say it, Mom, I know. Dating can be difficult for everyone. It can be hard, opening yourself to someone like that. To be seen completely. To be heard. I do want that for myself. I want almost all of it. I want to hold hands and watch movies with someone. I want them to come home and tell me about their awesome day. I want them to wait for me while I jump off rooftops chasing down Lady Shiva. I want someone to share ice cream with after I get press-ganged onto a bananas immortality island murder tournament where I'm forced to fight a literal demon. I want to share myself. It's just so hard, when sharing yourself is so often assumed to mean your body as well as your soul. Primarily your body. I understand why most people see sex and love as interchangeable. Society is composed of celebrations of the sexual aspect of love, it's cacophonous. Which is what made this so hard to realize. Because when that... noise... is everywhere, it can be hard to hear the silence within yourself. Especially when everyone in the orchestra thinks your silence is... an aberration. Ruining their chorus. But this silence is me, and it has a beauty of its own. I'm asexual, Mom. And I'm proud of who I am, now that I can hear it.
CONNOR HAWKE in DC PRIDE (2022) story by Ro Stein and Ted Brandt
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mushroomjar · 2 years
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[Image Description: A screenshot of a tweet from Alice Oseman's Twitter. It reads: if we get a season 2 of Heartstopper, I have (all caps) plans. Big asexual plans. End Image Description]
Hi let's talk about this
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st4rshiptr00per · 1 month
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my blorbos...
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www-pinkhearse · 10 months
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If you’re aspec in this world you may be entitled to financial compensation
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thatonemonkeyband · 11 months
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2D why're you covered in bites 🤨🤨🤨🤨🤨🤨🤨🤨
Quick warning it’s kinda suggestive so beware ig
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He fell down the stairs and got bitten by a feral rat obviously smh
x
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This may sound really dumb of me, but can you explain asexuality/aromance (?) to me?
I know it exists and I believe it’s totally valid, but a part of me always feels like I can’t really be inclusive or use inclusive language when I don’t understand it, because I’m afraid that not understanding it might lead to miscommunication and me accidentally offending someone
And the last time I asked someone in person they got mad at me „because I should know, I’m part of the queer community“ but all I ever heard is that it’s a spectrum? Which I don’t really understand
The way you communicate makes you seem like such a nice person, so I thought this would be a good place to ask 🫣😅
I think this is the first time I've been told I see like a nice person, but this is a lovely way to round out ace week when I haven't managed much, so let's do this.
Anyway, the jerk who said you should just. Know things. Is rude. You have to learn things at some point. It is true that some things you can find ways of learning yourself, or that you should have perquisites or are expected to know things before x, y, or z, but that's also just not helpful, so.
So let's start with definitions: Aromanticism and Asexuality don't mean the same thing, but they're related concepts.
Asexuality: The trait of experiencing sexual attraction never, rarely, or only under certain circumstances.
Aromanticism: The trait of experiencing romantic attraction never, rarely, or only under certain circumstances.
Those last two are how it's a "spectrum": there's more than one possibly manifestation or asexuality or aromanticism, and those spectrum identities are often called "gray aromantic" "gray romantic" "gray sexual" gray asexual", etc.
However, those identities generally have more in common with people who never experience sexual attraction that people who don't fit into this spectrum, so they're included. If someone only experiences sexual attraction when certain criteria are met, that means the rest of the time they don't, and they may have only recently or rarely even experienced attraction and started to understand that experience. Etc.
The next part of where people tend to get tripped up is that they thing of attraction as "wanting" something, but that's really not what it is. It's more of a compass that indicates what direction where you want to go is.
We're going to reuse the very common donut metaphor here. I'm not a big fan of it, but it's helpful for this.
People think of wanting a donut as "Oh, I want this donut, let's go get one," because that's how most people end up with a donut (or a relationship). But there are also people who are offered a donut, aren't real sure they want one, and they look at it and go, "Actually, yeah, that donut looks good." And that would be specific circumstances met! A-spectrum!
Or, they're offered a trip for donuts and go, "Actually, yeah, I could really go for a Boston Creme." That's someone who maybe doesn't usually think about donuts, but now that they're considering donuts, they're experiencing a desire for a specific donut. A-spectrum!
Or, they're just like, "You know, a donut sounds good right now," but has no specific opinion on creme filled or jelly filled or glazed or iced or whatever the hell. They're just like, "Donut. Please a donut." That's someone who who wants a relationship, but doesn't feel attraction. But that doesn't make their desire for a donut, or their happiness having the darn donut, any less real. A-spectrum!
So, it's perfectly possible to want sex or romance and not be attracted to someone. The wanting is not the same as the specifics, and attraction is in the specifics.
However. It's also true the wanting and the specifics do go hand-in-hand, and for many a-spec people, they have no desire for sex or romance (or little). And the way society is currently structured is very hostile and dismissive of that. Hell, when I got this ask I was at a family event, and we were talking about my new apartment and the red color my living room is, and my grandmother made a comment about me maybe meeting a fireman.
Now, my parents and my siblings and I all sort of recoiled, because we know better. I don't want a fireman. I don't want an anybody. But that doesn't mean my relationships are less meaningful than sexual or romantic ones. I feel love and care for people in my life intensely, and they're precious people to me. I don't like the way society pushes those important parts of my life aside, and I don't like them being talked about in a way that sounds like they matter less, or they're less valuable, or they should be de-prioritized in favor of sex or romance.
And, sometimes, i just want to go through life for a while not thinking about either of those things, because they're not part of my own personal life at all, but my life is still full and rich and interesting.
Now, this was a quick 101/102 level introduction to the topics. There's much more to discuss around libido and romantic libido and zucchinis and qprs and different forms of attraction and squishes and on and on and on.
But I don't think that's what you want right now when you're first stepping into understanding the topics.
So I hope this helped you understand the ace and aro spectrums better.
Cheers!
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boombox-fuckboy · 1 year
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Don't know any of these? Pick one and go listen!
Did I miss someone? Let me know.
"Where is Dr. Sally Grissom?" I was worried she might be too well known and unbalance the poll. I could never forget her.
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can’t wait for asexual awareness week to be over so people can finally stop being aware of me. next week i’m retreating into the woods of some nearby state, whereabouts completely unknown except for the guy who delivers my groceries
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oatflatwhite · 8 months
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very brief heartstopper s2 takeaways bc i watched it in one sitting and now it is my bedtime:
ACE by angela chen. I screamed when i first saw it in the shot of isaac and james putting together the display table and then when isaac picked it up finally my heart SOARED. I just read this book and wrote a whole ass essay about being aroace using it, so to see it there on my tv... just made me so beyond happy. And to just HEAR the words aromantic asexual spoken on mainstream tv... yeah 💜🤍🖤💚
On a lighter note, nick's "mon amour" took me OUT
EVERYTHING about mr ayaji and mr farouk was absolutely SPLENDID
I loved imogen's reaction to nick's coming out. It was so far from perfect but it was so real. I loved how she was included in their group as the show went on and i love! The idea of her and sahar! Hello!!!
The tori v. david smackdown on the staircase. Glorious no notes
THE SEVEN NEEDLEDROP. MY FAVOURITE TS TRACK OF ALL TIME. YES OK. OK OK OK. AND I'VE BEEN MEANING TO TELL YOU I THINK YOUR HOUSE IS HAUNTED YOUR DAD IS ALWAYS MAD AND THAT MUST BE WHY I THINK YOU SHOULD COME LIVE WITH ME AND WE CAN BE PIRATES AND YOU WON'T HAVE TO HIDE.
Also circling back to isaac, him reading summer bird blue after the art exhibition!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And him in shakespeare and co took me out i love that boy sm
just, like, things that jumped out to me RIGHT AWAY after that first watch. I did love the whole season so so so SO much. but had to note these first thoughts down!!!!!
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wherefore-whinnies · 6 months
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tl;dr if you say things like "there's no heterosexual/platonic explanation for this" or "historians will say they were roommates" or think a character not wanting romance/friendship is a thing to be fixed or think that actions are inherently romantic without considering the intent behind them or insist that ace attorney is ~the gay lawyer game~ or a whole variety of other aphobic behaviour that's been normalized in fandom please either unfollow me or commit to learning about aspec people and amatonormativity and changing your behaviour.
I've had people tell me stuff like "I'm sure most people in your fandoms are nice, decent people! if you just tell them about the things they do that are harmful I'm sure they will listen and try to change!" and "if you just sit there and feel bad about it nothing will ever change! not with that attitude!" about amatonormativity in fandom and like okay would you like to take on that responsibility then? would you like to try to educate people on how the basic way they engage with fandom is blatantly erasing a whole group of queer people? would you like to be the person telling a bunch of people who think the way they engage with fandom is so progressive and good that actually it's really not? would you like to bring up the word aphobia in regards to the things they post and bring to mind completely relevant parallels with things like homophobia and transphobia that they think they're above?
aro people get dogpiled and subjected to hate and mistreatment online just for saying they'd like to see more platonic friendships in media. ace people get dogpiled and subjected to hate and mistreatment online just for saying they don't like how unnecessary sex scenes have become a thing to be shoved so commonly into media. people will start screaming "homophobia!" and "purity culture!" and making up all these strawmen to argue against so that they can feel superior to and condescend to and make fun of aspecs. any mention of kink at pride invariably devolves into rampant and blatant acephobia from a website that insists acephobia is a thing of its past and they're so much better now. and it's not just random internet strangers. it gets put on my dash by people who are supposed to be my friends. so again. would you like to be the one to so nicely and politely explain to people and ask that aspecs pretty please be recognized as a portion of the queer community that matters and is worthy of respect?
at this point people know that aspec people exist and they continue to do this anyway. they'll claim to care about aspec people and insist that this is true until it comes to them actually having to change their behaviour. people don't want to accept that things they are doing are wrong and harmful. that's just how people are. allo (and even some aro, somehow) queers think they are engaging with fandom in such a progressive and morally pure way and do you really want to be the one to tell them that they're not?
I have had friends who have known perfectly well that I hate romance, have seen this on numerous, numerous occassions, and have still expected me to be thrilled about a particular romance because it was gay. (somehow people do not seem to realize that they are literally saying gay romance is not real romance when they do this. and yet I'm the homophobe.) it's really not a simple matter of just "explaining to people". not to mention that having to try to educate people on all this is fucking exhausting. aside from the actual figuring out what to say and how to say it and writing it all down you have to worry about the person not understanding anyway, or just brushing it all aside with cries of "homophobia!".
so you know, maybe consider taking some of that on instead of piling it all on my shoulders when I'm the one who will be most harmed by the outcome!
and please don't take this to mean that I want all of fandom to be all about friendships either. I may be alloplatonic but I am shaking hands with all my aplatonic comrades who are even more neglected in this sense than aros are. and in general, I would like to do what I can to speak out for you knowing that I am somewhat shielded from the outcome by virtue of being alloplatonic.
I've lost the thread of what I was ranting about at this point but no one's read this far anyway so 😇 anyway, if you do any of the stuff I wrote in the tl;dr and haven't unfollowed me yet and read this far instead (thank you!), please please please consider educating yourself on amatonormativity and how those kinds of comments are actually erasing an entire class of relationships had especially by, but not exclusively by, aspec people. please don't just dismiss this with the kneejerk reaction of "homophobia!!!". aspec people are queer people too and don't deserve to be erased for the purpose of propping other queer communities up. there are respectful ways to engage with fandom and shipping without doing this.
anyway i got a bunch of new followers and wanted to make sure to scare the aphobic ones away sooner rather than later :)
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raayllum · 10 months
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happy pride month featuring. demisexual rayla and mayhaps some aro spec vibes too
Rayla has never really felt the stirrings, before, as other elves call it.
 Her training ramps up when she’s twelve, but the other kids her age are starting to be consumed by crushes, blushing and making fools of themselves unnecessarily. It’s hard to understand, and even more annoying to watch. Can’t they just focus on what needs to be done? They’re the future warriors, defenders and protectors, of their village. They don’t have time for silliness, never mind the time consuming foolishness that comes with often short lived romantic (or even sexual) entanglements she sees the older assassins in training partake in. 
She supposes she’s just much more mature than they are. It’s the only explanation. 
Then she meets Callum. 
It’s not that they suddenly start, exactly — but for the first time, it feels like there’s potential for them to. How else is she supposed to explain this want to always be close to him, unable to resist from placing her hands on his shoulders, getting all up in his face as she teases him with her human impression? This maddening need to see him smile, to lift his spirits on the rare occasion he’s the downtrodden one (a situation that becomes less and less rare once he learns the truth about his father)? The racing of her heart and incessant thoughts in her mind that she can’t lose him, her fingers hesitantly touching his cheek, because she’s felt so many things since she ran away with two human princes and a dragon egg, but this — this is something else. 
His hand in hers makes sparks buzz in her chest, their interlaced fingers before the blind Sol Regem wholly for their own benefit. Her heart feels like it’s about to burst out of her chest with fondness and affection when she catches him blushing, when she catches him staring at her the way she imagines she’s been staring at him for quite a while now.
Once the embarrassment of the Oasis has faded, Rayla curls into his arms that cool night on the back of the ambler, and lets herself chase that warmth, a blanket draped over their laps and his lips firm against hers.
They explore a little more at the Nexus and the castle—kissing in dark alcoves and pressed against walls, pulling him close by his scarf, exploring more confidently the further they go, as far as his shirt being off one unbearably hot summer night, anyway.
Then she leaves, and is achingly cold. 
It’s not as though there are no offers while she’s away. The pubs and inns she frequents as she crosses through Xadia, when she can afford to and when camping isn’t an option, are home to many travellers looking for a good time. When she breaks her leg falling from a stupid tree, the clerk at the apocathery is very sweet, and asks if she’d stay a little longer once she’s healed up. His eyes are so green it’s almost tempting, but Rayla knows what she knows, and especially knows her heart.
There’s no one else. There never will be.
The jitters grow worse the closer she gets to Katolis when she finally turns around, Stella doing her best to soothe her nerves to little avail. 
She misses his birthday by one night and spends most of the next day crying, pacing outside the city walls till it’s almost nightfall. What will he say? What will he do? How has he changed, and what if he hasn’t? What if he still...
She climbs through his window, catching sight of the back of him first—broader, taller, with shorter, spikier hair swooped to one side—and then he turns around, gasping.
Still her Callum.
Boom. Stirrings. 
She spends most of the night admiring him once he’s relaxed enough to fall asleep, basking in the fact she’s by his side again, that she can do this—that he didn’t leave.
She thinks of the time one of the other Moonshadow kids had made a face when she didn’t have a crush on anyone, calling her strange.
Runaan had taken her aside and explained that sometimes, falling in love works differently for people, if they fall in love at all. That it was the same for him with Ethari. “Sometimes you fall in love only once,” he’d said.
She watches the way the sun catches Callum’s hair, illuminating a face that’s only grown more handsome since she left. In spite of everything, or perhaps precisely because of everything, she smiles.
This is it.
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dinah-lance · 11 months
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Connor Hawke in Green Arrow #001 (2023) art by Romulo Fajardo Jr
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