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#actual play podcasts are hard </3
kubfoo · 1 year
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pickman commission for a friend! | commissions open!
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thatdeaffeel · 1 year
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TDF when you want to watch a show and write at the same time but the mastering is so bad you can't hear any of the dialogue over the OST so you have to choose and your ADHD is screaming
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gimmeurtmi · 1 year
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stray kids and… things they only share with you.
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tags: ot8, established relationships, fluff
warnings: swearing, lowkey angst for han, i don’t actually know the gender of min’s cats okay, idk if there’s anything else?
notes: this is my first time doing an ot8 thing so feedback is appreciated <3 also idk if they’re the same length i just wrote lol
chan… headphones
you’re on chan’s bed, a book in hand as you read while chan works. quality time is very important to you, even if he is observed in his work and doesn’t say much while you’re reading.
every now and again he’ll get up for a drink and silently put one by your side, too. when he’s done something he’s specifically proud of he’ll let out a giggle and maybe clap his hands, instinctively turning to you with a smile even if he doesn’t stop to explain what made him happy.
if you’re feeling a little more touchy that day, he’ll happily let you wrap your arms around his shoulder as his focus remains on his work. he’ll let you pepper kisses on his cheek, blushing lightly, before you get bored and go back to your own work.
when he’s done making something he really likes he turns to you with a grin.
“mate,” he says, face beaming. “mate!”
“come on,” you say, marking your place in your book before putting it aside. you extended your hand to him, and he grabs the headphones he’s been using and hands them to you.
you place them securely on your head and nod at him, ready to listen. chan plays the track for you, finally resting his head on your shoulder.
he wraps his hand around your bicep, closing his eyes softly as he picks up the very faint sound of the track playing through the headphones.
when it’s done you smile down at him, ready to praise him, but his mouth is open—soft breathes leaving his lips, and so you know he’s asleep.
instead you connect the headphones to your spotify and listen to a podcast while you rest your eyes. you don’t dare move, just in case chan might wake up from the disruption.
you know he might scold you for not waking him up, but it’s almost three am—and by what you’ve just listened to it’s safe to say he finished the track, so there’s no reason he shouldn’t be allowed to sleep after his hard work.
you let yourself fall asleep as well once the podcast you’ve been listening to is over, carefully putting the headphones to the side as you know how important they are to chan.
the first time he let you use them you gasped, but he insisted since you left your pair at home and wanted to listen to music while studying without bothering chan’s concentration.
“i have a lot of pairs anyway,” he said calmly, “borrow them whenever you need.”
minho… cat snacks
you both sit on the floor of his parents’ house, full from the dinner minho cooked for you and his family. you were talking about your new neighbour who you swore had a pet wolf. minho kept saying it isn’t a wolf, that he even spoke to the man and it’s just a cross breed.
you insist it’s a wolf.
his father sides with him, saying that would have to be illegal, but before you can offer your argumatives points, dori walks over to you, sits in your lap, and starts meowing loudly.
“he really is just like you,” you say to minho. he cocks his head to the side. “he wants something so he comes to me and starts making noise.”
“he’s hungry,” minho explains, rolling his eyes at your comment.
he gets up and grabs three snack packs, handing you one before he calls the other two over for some dinner.
from the corner of your eye you can see minho’s mum staring at you, in complete shock—but you try not to get too paranoid about it. you know she likes you, minho promised she likes you.
you instead focus on the cat in your lap, now meowing even louder once the snack came into view. you quickly open it and offer it up, giggling at the way he eagerly starts licking at the food.
when you glance over at minho you freeze, noticing the tension in the air.
“am i doing it wrong?” you whisper, as if dori might judge you for that question.
he shakes his head slowly but doesn’t say anything else. his mum quickly brings up another subject, asking you all about that incident at work you mentioned on your last visit.
minho helps them clear the last of the plates and cups that are left, insisting you sit down even after you offered to help three times.
soonie approaches you slowly before sitting down right on top of your phone.
you start talking to her, explaining the logic behind her actions, and she then shows you her stomach. you instantly start scratching it, knowing if she’s anything like her big brother she’ll start rioting if she doesn’t get the attention she wants.
after a few minutes of cooing at the cat you feel someone sitting down next to you, a pair of big hands wrapping around your waist, minho placing his chin on your shoulder.
“my mum just told me off,” he says, and you can hear the grin on his face.
“what did you do?”
“apparently i have never in all my life let anyone else feed the cats with me.”
“she was looking at me weird,” you mumble, “didn’t think it would be over something so simple.”
“you know the cats mean the world to me, right?” he looks at you, brows knitted together. now he’s looking at you weird—and it doesn’t help that they have the same confused face.
“yes, they’re your lockscreen and i’m not.”
“not this again,” minho sighs, but you simply grin at him.
“what’s your point?”
“i didn’t notice i do that, nor did i notice i gave you one of the snacks to feed them with,” is all his explanation. you manage to fill in the blanks yourself—knowing minho would never say it if it’s as painfully honest as you think it is.
you kiss his lips softly. “thank you for trusting me with your world.”
he nods, satisfied you understood him. like you always do.
changbin… phone
“hey, can you text the boys for me? tell felix we’ll be there in a second,” changbin says, handing you his phone as he keeps his eyes focused on the road.
“password?” you ask, trying to angle the phone towards his face until you remember it’s an android and it doesn’t even have face recognition.
“your birthday,” he says simply.
“simp,” you giggle, trying and failing to bite back your smile. changbin pays no mind to your comment, deciding being a simp for you is much better than ever letting you down—so he’ll accept that name proudly.
you text felix the details and put the phone back in the cup holder, focusing instead on the next song on changbin’s playlist.
“hey, can you order the food? i’m just gonna shower,” changbin asks as you enter the dorm. he came to pick you up right after his gym session, and while he didn’t want to see you while he was all sweaty he also didn’t want to make you wait any longer, so he still needs a shower.
you don’t have to ask for the passcode this time, easily keying in your birthday before ordering the food you talked about on your way home.
you notice he has solitaire on his phone, and while that might not be the most appealing game in the world you’re also extremely bored. you know you shouldn’t use his phone for anything other than what he’s asked you to, so you knock on the shower door quickly.
“binnie, can i play on your phone until the food’s ready?”
“of course, sweetheart!” he yells back.
you smile to yourself before plopping down on the couch and starting a new game.
the boys spent approximately forty five minutes taking pictures while all of you went to the han river for a picnic. it’s alright though, because they also took pictures of you with your boyfriend, and of you alone, so it’s not like you were excluded from the vanity game.
once the sun disappeared and the weather turned cooler you went back to the dorm to finish the rest of the food.
they were all looking over the pictures, deciding which was the best one to upload.
“who took the picture of me with the watermelon?” minho asks enthusiastically.
“binnie did,” you respond, as you spend your time focusing on the delicious cake felix made.
minho whines, considering changbin was taking one of his food naps at the moment and couldn’t show him the pictures.
you grab his phone from where he placed it down on the table and enter his gallery—handing the phone over to minho so he can look over the pictures.
he simply gasps at you.
“you know his passcode?”
you lock the phone again, showing minho that it was your thumb print that can unlock it.
“wow,” chan chuckles.
you don’t pay much attention to them though, far more invested in the cake, and so you get back to eating it while minho sends himself all the pictures off changbin’s phone.
hyunjin… jewellery
it starts flirtatious, like most things are with you and hyunjin. you’re playing with his hand, fiddling with his fingers, drawing circles on his wrist. you grab the ring on his finger and pull it off before placing it on the finger next to it. and then the finger next to it. you play this game for a few more minutes, hyunjin’s eyes practically turned into two hearts as he took in the amusement on your face. as he giggles, he grabs the ring from you and you pout—sad for the game to be over. but it isn’t, as the roles are now reversed, hyunjin moving the ring from finger to finger.
it’s then the waitress approaches your table, albeit hestitanly, and asks for your orders.
the ring stays on your hand all night.
“it suits you,” hyunjin says when you try and give it back.
“beautiful, can i have my ring?” he asks as he steps out of the shower a few days later. he has an event tonight, some important people he needs to meet, and he wants to look his best. jewellery is important for that.
“yeah, of course,” you don’t even hesitate. it was his ring to begin with, and he never officially gifted it as yours to keep. you were just looking after it for a bit.
when hyunjin gets back from paris he has a lot of gifts with him—all ysl branded and expensive. he shows off the clothes and the perfume and tells you all about the luxurious evenings him and felix enjoyed. of course, he sent you pictures as most of the events were taking place in front of him, but you enjoy his story telling even more when he’s right in front of you.
when he shows you the necklace he got you gasp, turning it over in your hand.
“it’s so pretty!” you gush. “that’ll look beautiful with a low neckline dress.”
“never wore a dress before,” his eyes twinkle at you.
you laugh at him and roll your eyes before handing the necklace back to him.
“you can wear it for that fancy meal we’re going to next week?” he offers simply.
you shake your head; not wanting to come off greedy. it was beautiful, and it must’ve been extremely expensive, and you already felt guilty for that comment you made. as if you’d just be allowed to wear it.
“i can’t take that, it was a gift from a brand partner. what will they say?”
“you’re not taking it,” hyunjin says simply, and you’re surprised by how quickly he’s giving up. “it’s a lend. you’ll wear it for that night and then give it back. and when you wanna wear it again just ask.”
“but i—“
he places his finger on your lips before pecking them softly, concluding the conversation for now.
jisung… demos
“baby! baby! baby! baby!” your boyfriend jumps in his seat as you answer the facetime call. sometimes you wonder where his energy supply comes from because it can’t possibly be natural.
it’s ten at night.
“hey, ji,” you smile at him. his energy is infectious, and the best thing to see after a long day of work.
“baby! i wrote the best song!” he smiles at you, his cheeks scrunched together as his face shines proudly.
“let’s hear it,” you ask, quickly grabbing your headphones so you could listen carefully.
he places the phone down against his water bottle, changing the view slightly.
his hair is hiding beneath a beanie, probably because he couldn’t be bothered to tame it, and his laptop is right in front of him.
other than that you can’t see much considering there’s only a small lamp illuminating the room, pointing only at the desk. there’s pieces of paper crumbled by the laptop—unwanted lyrics, you suppose.
“it doesn’t have a name yet,” he introduces, “and i might give it to the company because i’m not sure if the vibe is right for us. i think it could be right maybe if chan rearranges it a bit, but i don’t think it needs any change at all. maybe? maybe if felix sings the bridge then—“
“—hey! j.one!” he looks over at you, eyes wide and mouth in a small circle. “just play the song and then we can discuss it?”
he nods at you, sitting back in his chair and pressing play on his program.
the track starts playing loudly on the speakers around him. it’s slightly choppy, not the best quality to hear a song for the first time through a phone like this, but jisung is extremely impatient. he wanted you to hear the song right away, quite literally as soon as he finished recording the last part of it. so you didn’t mind straining slightly to try and catch all the lyrics.
jisung bops his head along to the beat, his face extremely serious as he listens back carefully.
you assume it’s only his second or third time hearing it back in completion since he doesn’t even monitor your reactions like he sometimes does—instead he’s taking notes.
you know his favourite part is coming up when his hand lifts into the air, dropping in time with the beat before the chorus plays again.
his eyebrows are scrunched together as a much faster rap verse starts, and you can tell he’s monitoring the cadence, even if it is just a demo track and he will most definitely re-record the vocals once he decides what to do with the track.
only when the song ends does he look back at you, expectedly, eyebrows high on his nervous face.
you clap your hands, nodding at him.
“nah, say what you actually think!” he all but scolds you.
“i think it deserved applause!”
he sends you a look before you go into more detail. what you thought of the beat, and the pace, and the sound, and the vibe. you aren’t professionally involved in music, you only know the words jisung taught you, but he still insists your opinion is more important than chan’s to him. you tell him that flattery isn’t useful in this situation, nor do you believe its true, but he stands by it.
“but the lyrics,” you start, and jisung’s eyes frown at your tone. “they’re incredibly moving, ji, but they’re so sad.”
“yeah,” he just nods, no longer looking at you.
“the beat doesn’t match how sad it is,” you comment, trying to disguise your worries as a simple criticism of the work.
“that’s on purpose though,” he says quickly, “i think it’s so sad that if the music matched it would be too much. plus, the feeling i’m talking about is acting like everything is normal, so a quick beat matches perfectly.”
you nod. “and why are you acting like everything is normal?”
jisung sighs, before he answers your question with a completely different one. “do you think i should give the song to someone else?”
“no,” you say, “felix would suit the bridge. and an emotional song is always best when it’s sang by someone that can relate.”
“i don’t wanna talk about it,” he says, knowing where you’re trying to take the conversation.
“and yet you called me to listen to it,” you cock your eyebrows up.
jisung rests his head against the chair for a moment, looking up as he thinks over his next words carefully. then he tells you all about it—the inspiration behind another one of his sad songs. you listen carefully, humming and nodding and offering your support and your words when he asks for them.
after about an hour on the phone a warning comes up to tell you you only have 20% left.
you go to grab your charger, and the pause in conversation causes the subject to move to your day and your plans for the weekend before they circle back to the song.
you do really like it, and tell him as such, encouraging him to show it to chan and the others soon.
after you say your goodbyes, and you reassure jisung of how much you love him, you go to sleep with the beat still stuck in your head.
when you tell jisung that the next morning he decides he can’t possibly give that track to anyone else—not even his band.
the company like it so much they let him release it as one of his solo tracks—his face beaming when he tells you the news two weeks later. right before playing another new song for you.
felix… games
“no way!” you gasp as you look around felix’s room for the very first time. he has all sorts of trinkets and fairy lights and even a beautiful piece of artwork on the wall. and then there’s his computer with the huge double monitor—which looks more expensive than anything else you’ve seen in the house so far.
but by the monitor there is a glass case, and inside it is an original gameboy.
“does it still work?” you ask enthusiastically.
“of course it does,” he scoffs, “i play it all the time.”
“you play your switch all the time,” you correct him.
“and then i play a little bit of that one,” he says, “it has the first ever pokémon on it.”
“what other games do you have for it?” you ask, eyes sparkling at him.
felix pulls out a box from the shelves above his monitor and hands it to you.
you opened it quickly, picking up all the different games inside it. all the popular ones are there, as well as ones you’ve never even heard of before. you can count at least three dozen in there. there’s also games for a nintendo ds (you spot a pink one on the shelf where the box once was), at least another dozen. you sigh and hand the box back to him.
“you really are a nerd, yeah?”
felix grins at you before giving you a sloppy kiss and carefully placing the box back on the shelf.
the tour continues as felix shows you his collection of twice albums and mangas and his deadpool mask he used for a performance once.
he further proves your point when he starts telling you just how rare one of his comic books are, but you indulge him. you think nothing is more rare than the sparkle in his eyes when he talks about his nerdy stuff—as if he brought down the whole galaxy into this very room—so you give him your full attention as he speaks.
later that night, when you’re both fed and dressed in comfier clothes, him and his younger roommates start playing a game. felix only said yes because you were showering (and you said it’ll take a while because you wanted to do a hair mask) but now that you’re back he asks the boys to pause it.
“no, no, it’s fine!” you say, not wanting to get on their bad side on your first night staying over. “maybe i can play on your ds in the meantime?”
seungmin snickers to himself, but he’s so focused on the game you’re not sure it was in response to what you said.
“i saw that you had nintendogs and i can definitely entertain myself with that while you guys finish your… mission or whatever it is.”
“y/n, let me stop you right there,” jeongin smirks, eyes still focused on the screen. “no one is allowed to touch hyung’s games so—“ felix elbows his friend, but that doesn’t stop him from talking, “—we’re only allowed to use the xbox when he’s with us and because we have our own controllers.”
“i almost died once before i was made aware of that rule,” seungmin adds.
you notice felix’s cheeks have gone red, his freckles dusting over the new colour. he’s always been extremely generous to you—if it was gifts or his time or his things. but if his games were a line for him you didn’t want to cross it, nor did you mean to.
“oh, of course!” you say quickly, “i can just do something else. you guys enjoy the game!”
you move to get up but felix stops you, placing a hand on your knee before he pauses the game. luckily they weren’t in the middle of a fight or anything, so the boys don’t protest too much.
felix places a kiss on your cheek before he gets up, walks to his room, and comes back with the console in his hand.
you can see seungmin’s jaw drop.
“what?” you blink up at felix as he places the game in your hand.
“you can start a new game and name it so i’ll know it’s yours for whenever you come over,” he smiles simply, nodding at you.
“unbelievable,” jeongin mumbles.
“i guess there really is such a thing as girlfriend privilege,” seungmin shakes his head.
felix smiles at you when you power up the console, kissing your temple when you shuffle closer to him. then he gets back to the game—not letting either of his roommates comment on the situation further.
seungmin… hoodies
“no,” seungmin says simply.
jisung was stood in your hotel room, begging seungmin to let him borrow that hoodie of his, the one with the red heart on the front. according to jisung, it’s exactly what his outfit is missing.
“what about that hoodie you wore yesterday?”
“no, the heart is what makes it because i’m gonna wear a red bandana and—“
“—so you’re stealing minnie’s whole fashion sense?” you chime in. seungmin smirks proudly at his friend as he raises his eyebrows.
“no, uh, i just wanna try something different,” jisung defends.
“if i may,” you try, offering your own fashion advice. jisung had a very nice cardigan with a hint of red in it, and you reminded him of that. he thought it over.
“a hoodie would be warmer though,” he tries again, flashing your boyfriend the best puppy eyes he could master.
“sorry, hyung,” seungmin shakes his head, “y/n already called that hoodie for tonight.”
jisung looks over at you, eyes wide.
“you couldn’t have said that earlier? i’ve been stood here wasting my time!” he rants some more as he leaves the room, letting the whole floor know about his inconsiderate friend that won’t let him live his fashion life to the fullest.
you laugh as his voice dies down slowly.
“so now i gotta find an outfit that works with that hoodie i guess?” you raise your eyebrows at him.
you did not call that hoodie for tonight at all actually, but if that was seungmin’s only excuse, you didn’t want to contradict him in front of his extremely stubborn friend.
“you could’ve just let him borrow it for tonight,” you try reasoning.
“nope,” seungmin pouts, “you’re the only one that should be wearing my hoodies.”
you laugh at him, wrapping your arms around him as you kiss his jaw softly.
“now i feel bad,” you tease, “i get bestowed with such an honour and i don’t even want your hoodie.”
he gasps. “you steal them all the time!”
“yeah,” you scrunch your face as you chuckle, “but now that you gave me permission i don’t want them anymore.”
“you’re so annoying,” he groans, pinching your sides. you yelp, jumping at the sensation before slapping his shoulder.
“i will wear it,” you say simply, “but only so ji doesn’t think you’re a liar.”
you walk towards the closet, where seungmin unloaded his whole suitcase into, and pick out the now infamous hoodie. you smile softly to yourself—it really is your favourite of his.
seungmin chuckles at your reaction, before sucking his teeth. “we’ll be late for dinner, come on.”
jeongin… personal space
jeongin does not like physical affection. he doesn’t do hugs or kisses or cuddles. that’s his rule.
but every rule has an exception and you’re the living proof.
when anyone else tries to touch him he squirms away, usually making a comment suitable for a spoiled child. but whenever you’re near him he does everything in his power to be closer to you.
if you’re walking down the street he’ll wrap his pinky around yours or sometimes he’ll fully grab your hand and sway your arms as you two walk.
he’ll play with your hair a lot too, always making sure to move it out the way before you start digging into your meal so it doesn’t get in your food.
if you’re watching a movie his thighs are in your lap and his arms around you. maybe he’ll even put his head on your shoulder if he’s a little sleepy that night.
and he refuses to fall asleep without his hand lazily sprawled across your body in some way or another.
the boys are definitely jealous, so they try their luck with jeongin after they see the physical affection between you two.
he still pushes them away with disproportionate disgust.
one time you were there to witness it and he fully grabbed you—using your body as a shield between him and chan’s attempted cuddles.
“no touchy!” he reminds him, grabbing onto your arms as he makes himself as small as possible to avoid chan reaching him.
“it’s not fair,” chan whines, “you let her touch you all the time!”
“channie-hyung,” jeongin pokes his head around your shoulder, ready to push you between him and his attacker at any moment if needed. “you realise it’s different when it’s you.”
“why?”
“because i love her,” he says it so simply, as if chan is silly for even needing that explanation. as if that isn’t the first time he’s said that out loud.
chan raises his eyebrows in surprise and you’re sure he’s just mirroring your shocked facial expression.
“you don’t love me?” chan reacts quickly, letting the tension die in the air as he insists he must hug jeongin now. ducking behind you, he grabs onto him and pulls him away from you. jeongin escapes from chan’s grip and they both start running around the room like absolute children until chan tackles him into a bear hug.
later that night you’re in jeongin’s bed, his hands locked behind your back as he pulls you fully on top of him.
“innie,” you start, as casually as you can, “you know if you don’t like them in your personal space you can just say that.”
“yes, i tell them all the time. no touchy.”
“i meant, you didn’t have to say that to chan just as an excuse,” you say, your finger wrapping around the string of his hoodie.
jeongin knits his brows as he looks at you.
“huh?”
“just… don’t feel like you have to lie.”
“lie? what are you talking about?”
he really doesn’t seem to remember what he said, so you swallow down the awkwardness and take a breath.
“you shouldn’t have told chan you lov—“ but before you can repeat what he said, jeongin’s eyes grow wide and his palm lands on your mouth, stopping you from saying anything else.
“i remember what i said now!” he says, looking everywhere but at you. “no, uh, no need to repeat it!”
you bite down on his palm gently, enough to get him to yelp and retreat his hand away so you can speak your mind.
“so you meant it?”
the redness on his cheek is enough of an answer, but jeongin decides to verbalise it, too. “no.”
“innie, don’t lie to me!”
he grabs you closer, practically shoving your head into his neck so you don’t see his warm face. he grunts.
“i, i didn’t, well, it’s just—“
“i love you, too.”
the grip on your waist loosens for only a moment before he squeezes you even closer to him, regardless of how your airways are coping.
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moonstruckme · 6 months
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Hey love! How are you? I hope everything is well. Could I request a fluffy fic where the reader is sick and the marauders dote all over her? I have been sick the past couple of days with high fever and I am in desperate need to be taken care of lol. It doesnt matter if it is a poly!marauders or one of the boys. You can choose whichever you are in the mood for. Thanks in advance <3
Hi sweetheart, I'm good, thanks! I'm sorry to hear you're unwell :( Soooooo relatable, basically all I do when I'm sick is fantasize about someone taking care of me. I've been dying to write a roomate!James fic so I took this in that direction, hope that's okay. Thank you for requesting and I hope you feel better soon lovely!
James Potter x fem!reader ♡ 1.4k words
James listens as the door to your room opens and closes again, his unease mounting. 
You’re typically quiet, but lately you’ve been quieter than usual. Normally, James can count on at least seeing you in passing, or hearing your comings and goings signaled by the ridiculously harsh creaking of the front door. You sometimes play soft music while you cook, or have a friend over to chat in your room, or listen to a podcast while you get ready in the morning. 
For the last few days, there’s been none of that. If it weren’t for the occasional sound of your bedroom door and your key still on its hook in the entryway, James might think you’d moved out. 
He’s been walking past your door more often today, curious and a bit concerned at what’s keeping you confined in there. Though he knows he should be more ashamed of his eavesdropping, who else is responsible for making sure you’re okay if not your roommate? Anyway, if one day he finds you dead in your bedroom, “I was trying to mind my own business” isn’t going to make a very good excuse. 
When he goes by on his fourth unnecessary trip to the kitchen that afternoon, James is stopped by the startling noise of rapid-fire sneezes from behind your closed door. He’s knocking before he can second-guess himself. “Hey, you alright in there?”
There’s a great snuffling sound, and then, “Yeah, thanks,” your voice muffled. 
James hesitates. He’s not sure what your definition of “alright” might be, but he doesn’t feel right going about his day when you’ve locked yourself away and are acting so strange. “Can I come in?”
“No.” 
Well, that’s about as much confirmation that you’re not alright as he needs. “Are you decent?”
“I—yeah, but James—” 
He cracks the door, sticking his head in just as you dive beneath the covers of your bed. The floor is covered in tissues and wrappers of some sort, dirty dishes stacked on your desk. The room actually smells like sickness, likely a result of your being in here without opening a door or window for days. 
“James, please go.” Your voice is muffled by the covers, but now James can hear how congested it sounds. “I don’t want to get you sick.” 
“We’re roommates, love,” he says, taking a few tentative steps toward you. “Whatever you have, I’m gonna get it eventually.” 
You sneeze, your form tensing under the covers. “Not if I stay in here and you stay out there,” you insist nasally. 
James crouches by your bed, careful to avoid the tissues and what he now sees are cough drop wrappers. He tugs at your sheets until you release them, pulling them down to reveal your very flushed, very displeased face. James can’t help it; his eyebrows come together and his bottom lip juts out in pity, and your glare intensifies. 
Of course, it’s hard to appear very intimidating when your nose is twitching as you fight off another sneeze. After a moment you give in, pressing a tissue under your nose as your shoulders hitch. James winces in sympathy. 
“How long have you been like this?” he asks, taking advantage of your distraction to touch the back of his hand to your forehead. He’s not surprised to find it warm, but the intensity of the heat that meets his hand has him inhaling sharply. He presses his palm to your cheek to be sure, but it’s the same. “Merlin, you’re burning up.” 
“S’not that bad,” you say, though your next sniffle undermines the claim. 
James brushes a sweaty strand of hair from your forehead, worrying his lip. “Seems pretty bad, love. I think we ought to get you to a doctor. You shouldn’t be this warm.” 
You’re shaking your head before he’s finished speaking. “James, no. I want to stay here, at home.” You pull your blankets closer about your shoulders protectively. “I don’t want to sit in some freezing waiting room for hours just so they can tell me I have a cold.” 
James looks at you for a moment. Your clammy forehead, your poor pinkened nose. A tiny shiver takes you, making you burrow under the blankets until just your pleading eyes are peeking out at him, and that’s what softens him to your cause. “Alright,” he sighs, “but then you need to let me take care of you.”
“But—”
“I don’t care about getting sick,” he cuts you off, leveling you with his sternest look. It’s not very well-practiced, but it does the trick, and you settle down. “You let me help, or I’ll take you to someone who will.” 
You look resentful at being given an ultimatum, but nod. 
“Great.” James grins, his usual affability returned. “Now when was the last time you ate?”
From that moment on, you’re on strict bed rest. James cancels his plans with Remus and Sirius for that night, both of them sending wishes that you start to feel better soon, and a call to his mum grants him access to her recipe for “get well soup.” You don’t have an appetite, but James coaxes you into eating a few spoonfuls, and the warm sensation in your throat proves too soothing to let a silly thing like appetite prevent you from finishing the bowl. James cleans your room as you eat, ignoring your protests and embarrassed groaning as he puts your tissues and wrappers into a bin, placing it beside your bed for easier access when you need it. Then, he gives you a steaming bowl of water, making you sit with a towel over your head in your own personal sauna. You complain about feeling disgusting as your sinuses empty themselves out, but admit to breathing a bit easier once it’s done. Soon you’re feeling well enough to sit up, propping yourself up on a few pillows with a full stomach and slightly clearer nasal passages while James takes your temperature with the thermometer he’d run to get from the corner store. 
“Can’t believe we didn’t have one of these,” he mutters as he holds it in your ear. “One of us was bound to get ill eventually, it’s a miracle it’s taken this long.” You hum, your eyes trained on the inside of James’ forearm. It hasn’t escaped his notice that you’ve been looking at him more today than you ever have before; he supposes he owes that to the glaze of fever he can still detect in your eyes. James would never embarrass you by mentioning it, but the warmth of your gaze is nice, and he’s glad you’re not sharp enough at the moment to notice he’s as flushed as you. The thermometer beeps, and he pulls away, the tension in his brow relaxing a bit as he reads the number. “Well, it’s not nothing, but it seems lower than earlier.” He feels at your forehead again, nodding to himself. “Yeah, definitely lower.” James leaves his hand on your face a tenth of a second too long, and your eyes raise to his.
“That’s good,” you say, giving him a small smile. He returns it heartily. “I feel better, thanks.” 
“Yeah?” he asks, his smile falling away when you give a small sneeze and then wince. “You sure, love? Is your head still hurting you?”
“It’s not as bad,” you sniffle, grabbing a tissue to wipe your nose. “I really think all this is helping, James, thank you. Sorry you have to be around me when I’m so gross.” 
“You’re not gross, you’re lovely,” he says dismissively, moving the box of tissues closer to you when you reach for it again. “You’re incapable of being anything but lovely.” 
You actually snort, the sound loud and wet. “Yeah, okay. Whatever you say.” 
“I do say,” James insists. “And I’m the only one here not delirious with fever, so I think that makes mine the final opinion.” 
Your cheeks get impossibly pinker, almost matching the hue of your nose, but your smile rivals James’ own. “Well, anyway, thanks for taking care of me. I really appreciate it.” 
James doesn’t bother to pretend he’s feeling for a fever this time, placing a hand on your cheek and rubbing at the skin under your eye affectionately. He thinks his heart actually turns to mush when you lean into the touch. “No thanks necessary, sweetheart. Happy to do it any time.”
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Podcast Rec Masterpost
I've been asked a couple times for podcast recommendations so I thought I'd post a compilation of some shows and a bit of info about them. Most shows I talk about are tagged below (I ran out of tags) so you can look through fan content as well if you're not one to care about spoilers. My asks are still open for personalized recs if you send me some others that you've listened to just because I love you, yes that's right! You. The person reading this right now!
Here goes!
Dungeons And Daddies *not a BDSM podcast
This show is a dnd actual play podcast. The first season is about four dads from our world lost in the Forgotten Realms in search of their lost sons. It’s a comedy but as with all comedies, you will cry by the end of it. It's super easy to get into with great chemistry between all the cast players and the dm, no prior knowledge of dnd is necessary. They do invoke slight horror sometimes so do keep an eye out for content warnings. Season 1 has 68.5 episodes along with bonus content and a mini campaign in between seasons 1 and 2. Season 2 is currently ongoing. Transcripts available.
The Bright Sessions
This is a science fiction podcast. The premise is a collection of clinical recordings of superpowered people's therapy sessions. The plot gets more interesting and convoluted as you get further in. Incredible voice acting filled with emotion. Does have some heavier discussions so be on the lookout for content warnings. It has 7 seasons (the last two are technically not part of the first five seasons' plot) and is completed. Transcripts available.
Hello From the Hallowoods
A post-apocalyptic fiction podcast. A beautifully written and preformed podcast that explores identity, religion, and other themes in vignettes throughout this haunted world narrated by an omniscient being. Some heavier topics are included so check the content warning before each episode. Seasons 1 and 2 are completed and season 3 will be done soon. Transcripts available.
The Magnus Archives
A horror fiction podcast. A well written chronological story told through anthology which seem to be tape recordings from a paranormal investigation institute. Incredible writing and actors that really bring it to life. This is horror so make sure to check the content warnings. The show is completed at 5 seasons. Transcripts available.
Neighbourly
Another horror fiction podcast! An interesting look into all the houses on Little Street and their peculiarities. Some more peculiar than others. The podcast is absolutely delightful with a horribly fun narrator. I would suggest checking the content warnings as some episodes are more intense than others. The show has 2 completed seasons. Transcripts available.
The Fall of the House of Sunshine
A musical mystery fiction podcast. The first season is about an investigation on the murder of a beloved host of a children's tooth-themed show. That's all I can say without spoilers. There are 3 incredible seasons along with short stories in between each season. Transcripts available until halfway through season 2.
Welcome to Nightvale
Possibly the most well known science fiction podcast, it really speaks for itself but I'll do my spiel anyways. Recorded as snippets of a daily radio broadcast, the show details the weird goings on in this strange desert town of Nightvale. Narrated almost completely by the radio host's smooth voice. It's ongoing and is currently sitting at 233 episodes. Transcripts available.
The Two Princes
A fictional queer romance podcast. It takes place in that special part of fiction that always starts with "once upon a time," it feels like a story book almost. The show is based around two boys meeting in the woods. Spoiler alert: they fall in love. It's just a cute feel good show. The podcast is complete at 3 seasons. Spotify auto-generated transcripts available.
What's the Frequency?
A self described psychedelic noir podcast. It's an absolute blast even if it is a bit hard to follow. Takes place in the 1940s in LA when all radio broadcasts were turned to static. You kind of just have to go with it until you get to the end. Completed at 12 episodes. Transcripts available.
Story Break
A writer's room podcast. The basic concept behind Story Break is 3 Hollywood writers in a room together take a prompt and try to make a story for it in an hour. There are many laughs in this podcast and just all around good humor and vibes. The show is complete at 169 episodes plus two full movie scripts. No transcript.
Who Killed Avril Lavigne
A science fiction podcast. It's about a time traveling pop punk loser and that's all you need to know. It's a podmusical so you'll be getting great nostalgic pop punk type songs along with crying from laughing so hard. Completed at 8 episodes. No transcript.
The Behemoth
A fiction podcast. Based around an unexplainable creature emerging from the ocean and how the world, and one girl in particular, deal with this phenomenon. It is pretty short with the longest episode being about 12 minutes. Completed at 20 episodes. No transcript.
Rude Tales of Magic
A dnd actual play podcast. It is mainly focused on the actual roleplay and story telling as opposed to the actual play. A handful of college students from Polaris University fuck the world up by completing a hazing ritual which in this case is a supposedly demon summoning. Obviously now they need to fix the world. Currently 64 episodes and ongoing. No transcript.
Midnight Burger
A very well written fiction podcast. It’s about a time/space traveling diner where the employees try to help solve a problem every place they land. Think Doctor Who adjacent vibes but with more drama. There is an overarching plot that comes together so look out for that. It has incredible characters that are really nicely fleshed out. You’ll somehow like and hate all of them as much as possible in the best way. Currently has 29 episodes of the main feed and a 9 episode mini-series. Transcript available.
Monstrous Agonies
A fiction podcast. It’s an radio advice segment on a station for “liminal Britain” aka the monstrous world to put it plainly. It’s really chill and comforting. There’s very good advice there and the intermittent ad reads will have you giggling to yourself. Episodes are on the shorter side, averaging about 15 minutes each. It does have some heavier discussions so make sure to check the content warnings. The show is completed at 111 episodes through 3 seasons. Transcripts available.
Desert Skies
A fiction podcast. The voice acting in this one is incredible, it’s the same person the whole time. The show as a whole is also just super well done. The premise is that when you die you show up on a highway and get to this astral pit stop. I’m not going to spoil it anymore you just have to experience it. There is an additional show, Desert Skies FM that's a buddy to this one. I recommend listening to both. Season 1 was completed at 12 episodes. Transcripts available.
Wooden Overcoats
A sitcom dramedy podcast. The show is about two siblings that run a funeral home on an island. It used to be the only one, it isn’t anymore. It has a wacky cast of characters and even wackier plot points. The dialogue can be a little hard to get used to at the beginning but once you get into it it flows easily. The show is completed at 4 seasons. Transcripts available.
Greater Boston
An audio drama podcast. It's set in Boston if you couldn't tell from the title and starts with the death of a man on a rollercoaster. It blends real life with some subtle (and at times not-so-subtle) fantasy elements. It's currently at 4 completed seasons. Transcript available.
Gay Future
A science fiction podcast. In a world where everyone is gay in the future we focus on this one straight kid. Following his journey to destroy the government who are making everyone gay. This is a satire by the way. 1 season completed at 6 episodes. No transcripts.
Death by Dying
A dark comedy podcast. The show follows an obituary writer while he does things that are totally under the jurisdiction of his job. A well written and preformed show. There are a lot of laughs and obviously some heartbreaks as well. Currently 1 completed season with season 2 sitting at 2 episodes for a bit now. Transcript available.
Not Another D&D Podcast
An actual play dnd podcast. This one's more mainstream than my other podcasts so I don't talk about it as much but that doesn't mean it's not incredible. The first campaign is about 3 adventurers off to save the world. Obviously. It can be a bit slow in the beginning but anything past the second half of the first season is incredible. There's humor, drama, love, and much more. The DM is also just incredible. 1 completed season, a couple mini campaigns, and the second season is currently at 43 episodes. No transcripts.
Forgive Me!
A fiction podcast. It starts based around vignettes of confessionals in this small town taken by a new father in the local church. An overarching plot is present but it's generally a feel good, sweet and simple show. They have 2 complete seasons with season 3 currently at 9 episodes. Transcripts available.
Real Housewives of D&D
An actual play dnd podcast. This show is based around the concept of a "Real Housewives..." type show but you don't need to know anything about those to listen to this. It's about 4 reality TV stars thrown into a magical fantasy world with no knowledge of how to get home. There's drama, excitement, danger, and lots more. The first season was just completed at 16 episodes. Transcripts available.
The Silt Verses
A horror fiction podcast. Two people who worship a banned god travel together up a river in a pilgrimage. There is incredible worldbuilding in this show along with acting and sound design. This is horror and a very good one at that so make sure you check content warnings. Season 1 and 2 are completed and season 3 is at 2 episodes so far. Transcripts available.
The Land Whale Murders
A comedy fiction podcast. It takes place in the year 1899 and is about a pair of friends? maybe not, that metaphorically explore the world they're living in. It is a commentary on the world we live in and the problems in it through a hilarious and wacky cast. There are currently 17 episodes between both seasons 1 and 2. Transcripts available.
Elaine's Cooking for the Soul
A post-apocalyptic cooking podcast. The show is about a dentist who makes her way through the fallout of an apocalypse while also making a cooking podcast. It does have depictions of violence, war, and dentistry so check out the content warnings. There are 2 completed seasons. No transcripts.
Fawx and Stallion
A mystery podcast. If you hate Sherlock Holmes you'll love this podcast. Also if you love Sherlock Holmes you'll love this podcast. It's based around the detectives who live across the street from Holmes at 224B Baker street. It's pretty goofy. Season 1 is completed. Transcripts available.
The Amelia Project
A fiction podcast. Follow the shenanigans of this death-faking organization as they take in new clients and hear their stories. It does develop an actual overarching plot later on but every second is fun. Seasons 1-4 have been completed and season 5 is in progress. Transcripts available.
A Voice From Darkness
A horror podcast. It's centered around a radio show hosted by Dr. Malcolm Ryder, Parapsychologist. He helps people who call into his show with supernatural problems, gives PSAs and warnings about strange happenings, and more. Season 1 is completed and season 2 is at 9 episodes. Transcripts available.
Station Arcadia
A dystopian fiction podcast. Formatted through a radio show, it tells the story of a world that's slowly dying. There are vignettes of different characters through different areas of the world. Season 1 is completed at 25 episodes. Transcripts available.
Margaret's Garden
A science fiction podcast. It has two plots running at the same time which keeps you on your toes but makes for an intriguing story line. In one plot line, two agents are sent to investigate the strange happenings of a weird little long abandoned town. Simultaneously, we hear from the past of that town as it catches up to the agents. Completed at 10 episodes. Transcripts available.
Camp Here & There
A horror comedy podcast. It's recorded as a set of daily announcements over a loudspeaker at a totally normal summer camp. The announcements are made by the camp nurse and he's also totally normal. I promise. Make sure to check in with the content warnings as some topics are a little mature or graphic. There are currently 34 episodes. Transcripts available.
Wayward Guide for the Untrained Eye
A companion horror podcast. This is actually a bit meta because it is the result of a youtube series. This show is the one the podcast hosts in the series release, it's definitely worth both the watch and the listen though. It's got werewolves and drama. Completed at 10 episodes of video and 10 of the podcast. No transcripts.
I am in Eskew
A horror podcast. It's about a man who's trapped in a city where the buildings always change and the rain never stops. There's a weird monotonous creeping horror in this show that just draws you in. Check for content warnings definitely. Completed at 30 episodes. Transcripts available.
Traveling Light
A comfy cozy fiction podcast. It follows The Traveller on their exploration through space, visiting alien planets and collecting stories to send back to their community. For supporters of the show, it almost functions as a choose-your-own-adventure with choices to vote on and listener submissions. It's made by the same people as Monstrous Agonies so if you enjoyed that, you'd enjoy this and vice versa. There are currently 16 episodes. Transcripts available.
Not yet described but still recommended:
Eeler’s Choice
The Secret of St Kilda
The Endless Ocean
The Department of Variance of Somewhere, Ohio
The Sword & The Stoner
World Gone Wrong: a fictional chat show about friendship at the end of the world
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m-writes-stories · 6 months
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The Kansas City Couple Pt 2
TAKES PLACE DURING TRAINING CAMP AND PRESEASON GAMES (JUNE-AUGUST 2023)
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Word Count: 1117
Warnings: Car accident
Interviewer: We are back. It is training camp time. And we are only here with Y/N. Why isn’t Travis here?
Y/N: So during training camp, Travis stays on the Missouri Western State campus. So I only see him at practice. So I saw him yesterday morning but he stayed there. So I’ll see him again tomorrow morning at practice again.
Interviewer: So why do they stay on campus when they could just come back?
Y/N: So the 9:30-12 practice that community members can see isn’t the full practice. So they actually come back at 1 and practice for another 2 and a half hours. So it is easier for the players to just stay in the dorms on campus than it is to drive all the way home. They also normally do team bonding skills after practice. I know that this year there are 8 PS4s and like 6 X-Boxs. So they are most likely doing a huge madden tournament. Honestly it is good for them to have that time together as a team. I know a couple of years ago there was a lot of separation between the rookies and the vets as training camp. And now they stay at campus. It is really funny cause Pat (Patrick Mahomes) called me the other day and we were talking and he goes “you know that Trav leaves early every night from our Madden tournament to call you right?” and I was confused. He said “every night when he calls you, we are most likely playing Madden, and he just gets up and leaves. He normally comes back 30 minutes to an hour later.” Which is funny cause he is calling me right now, (Answers the phone). Hi Trav! “Hey baby, what are you doing?” I am filming the documentary. Can I call you back after like an hour? “Yeah that's fine I love you!” I love you too. That is normally not how our conversations go. But we need to film so he can wait. He probably wasn’t doing anything important anyway.
Interviewer: Is it hard not having Travis here?
Y/N: It definitely was in the beginning. But it is mostly normal now. I’m sorta used to it. I have been doing this for so long. You know literally since day 1. So since then it has been getting easier. I don’t know if it is 100% easy, but I am pretty much used to him not being here for basically 3 months straight. We call and text and facetime so often it is kind of like he is here. There are evenings when he isn’t playing Madden and I am just walking around the house with him on Facetime. And it is literally like he is at the house.
Interviewer: What do you think about the Podcast?
Y/N: The New Heights podcast. Um, it's fun. I think Travis has so much fun with it. I love that he gets to talk to Jason (Travis’s brother). They are both so busy during the season and this is something that they can do to stay close. Even in past years with having Tuesdays off, there wasn’t a lot of time for them to sit down and talk. And so now with the podcast they have a set time to not be bothered. Which actually rarely happens, they get interrupted a lot, between me and the girls. Something is interrupting them.
Interviewer: So we talked about this during the off season, that you and Travis were off and on throughout high school. And you mentioned that you were in a car accident your senior year. Can we talk about that?
Y/N: yeah for sure. We can talk about that. So yes I was in a car accident my senior year. In January of that year I was driving home from wrestling practice and I hit a very slick patch of the road and slid into the ditch. But the ditch happened to ot be super deep so I actually just rolled over the ditch and rolled my car like 6 times. This is funny but not at the same time. It was actually Travis that found me. So this was back before we had cell phones. But we lived pretty close to each other, and the plan was that after practice I was to go to his house for a family dinner type thing. Well it had gotten way past the time that I should have been at his house. So he told his parents that he was going to drive the normal route to school, which is the same for both of us, and he found my car.
Interviewer: So you said in the previous interview that the accident kind of put a barrier between you and Travis. May we ask why?
Y/N: So being a wrestler and a softball player, I was determined after the accident to get back to 100% health. And I kind of pushed myself harder than I should have and it took me a while to realize that. But during the first like 3 weeks after the accident, there were times that I felt Travis being too protective. He was really just trying to get me to rest and take it easy. And all I wanted to do was to get back to being 100%. So I decided around the beginning of February that it would be best if Travis and I took a break. So we did and in April when I was finally feeling like myself again we ended up getting back together. And we have been together since.
Interviewer: So with that being said we know you wrestled at the college level. Was there ever a time when you felt Travis cared more about football than you or your wrestling?
Y/N: We definitely had arguments about that throughout college. But it was never that I felt he didn’t care about me or my wrestling career. It was more that we had two completely different focuses for a good chunk of the school year that we had a hard time spending time together. There were fights where we said that our individual sport was more important. But at the end of the day we knew that wasn’t true and that the other person came first.
Interviewer: I know fans would love to have multiple episodes with just you but we are going to hopefully get Travis back in for an interview. Hopefully after the first preseason game. We would love to talk about how he is feeling. But we will have to make time to get him to sit down and talk.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A/N: I also want to say that my requests are open for Travis only right now. So go send in all your Travis Kelce one shot ideas,
Love you all, M
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elmhat · 3 months
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Dreblr Survey Results Pt.2 - Sharing the Joy!
Here are the results for the longer questions! These are some of the lore moments, AUs and headcanons that we love.
I haven't included every response, only the ones that seemed the most unique and non-repetitive. There were a lot to sift through. Everything here has been directly pasted from the form.
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Lore moments we love...
Punz & Dream's reunion
The staged finale reveal were c!Punz meets c!Dream again
“Long time no see Buddy!”
'LONG TIME NO SEE BUDDY'
"long time no see buddy!" NEED I EXPLAIN ANSJSJDJENSNSKSKS
Moment staged duo got confirmed they were still working together I predicted that shit ages ago and I won't shut up about the fact i was RIGHT
I think there are two moments that are far too important for me. The first one being the moment that Punz and Dream met up after Dream got out of prison. It was so so magical, after A YEAR of waiting and clinging to the idea of stages finale, after it had been so long and people that just didnt believe saying no, it's not stages because it doesnt make sense or that it got retconned, They Were Wrong. And they couldnt take that win from me, even if they tried. It was even funnier when I saw people a day later finding the clip of Punz and Dream talking about Drem's "betrayal", long before he had been imprisoned, and they called it "a lost clip". But it wasnt lost, not to me. I had always known and I Had Been There when it had happened. Unbelievable, I really felt like I Won.
Technonblade & Dream being besties
c!dream admitting to c!techno he can't read a map
Anything with c!drunz or c!rivals but especially the moment on the mountain with c!rivals
DOOMSDAY RAHHGHHGH
Prison Podcast, it was so fucking funny
The Techno and Dream prison podcast will always be important to me
Prison break. Dream being surprised at returning for him
prison break, largely for the mass dreblr hysteria
...I'll have to say the jailbreak; I was hoping for one since before I saw any of the streams - back when all I really knew about the prison arc came from the title of a DSMP playlist that YouTube's algorithm recommended to me on my second day in the fandom (true story) - and seeing it play out honestly made my entire year.
The finale streams
i think about the discduo finale every day of my goddamn life
Tommy realizing the truth about Dream
The moment in the finale where c!Tommy asks c!Dream to take off his helmet and he does it. I shed real tears.
The moment where cdream metaphorically lost his mask and was just someone, all of a sudden
The disc finale, which can be read on so many levels with the infos you're given it's actually incredible.
The DSMP finale doesn't just hit hard, but I also enjoy the conclusion it gave to the conflict between Dream, Tommy, and the prison era, especially looking it at from a literary view.
The 2nd moment is more really the entire actual finale between Dream, Punz, Tommy and Tubbo - Staged duo got revealed to the wider world and my friends and I were celebrating for having been proven right again, it was just so amazing. And it really continued on and ended better than any of us could have hoped for and anyone arguing that it's bad that Dream got redeemed And Then The Nuke Happened, in my opinion, fundamentally didnt understand what Dream and Tommy's whole Feud was about - yes I said that Tommy is my least favorite character, but that's a good thing for a lot of instances, especially the finale, so when He Finally Understood His Enemy, I was downright in tears Sorry for the rant, I had to get all of that out qwq
when dream and tommy realize that it was too late
"Do you want to be friends?"
Sam & Dream being generally insane
the sam "when it was just me and him" moment <3
Sam and dteam’s conversation after techno escapes the prison
"Unless you're saying I'm not a person" lives rent-free in my head forever.
Can I put the entirely of Daedalus arc in here? Probably when Dream said Sam was going to be a shining example not to fuck with him!
c!Dream killing c!Sam once in prison (post escape, when c!Sam was locked up) after days of letting him live. It's special because for the crimes that had been committed against c!Dream in that cell, he was rather merciful. Particularly for his reputation as a heartless killer.
Sam talking about fucking dream up real horny like
Sadness
Just say you hate me<—- millions died
george looking at the prison every time hes is close to it WHY DID KE KEEP DOING THAT
The Karlnapity breakup hurts so good
When Sam was about to kill Ranboo and Techno cried out "you've got the wrong person! Dream doesn't care! I care-" then Ranboo died that fucked me up
So many moments. I had heard of and seen things and knew a bit about DSMP before. But I believe the first stream I watched live was the disc finale. So I'm gonna say "what am I without you? Yourself."
dream's 'sir' moment
Not really a specific moment but Dream going back to pandora afterwards everything. Him *dying* there? Ouchie ouchie ouchie
And more!
Initial disc war/conflicts, <3. The banter and jokes are so dear to me, and that was how I found the DSMP in the first place, so they have a very special place in my heart.
Destruction of Las Nevadas when c!Q was completely destroyed lmao. It feel like serenity to me. Justice, y'know.
vassal scene just everything about it when wilbur asked to be dream's vassal what it meant for their character arcs it was a turning point no going back and it meant so. much. for their characters.
The 'Daddy Dream!!' moment. The funny overshadow The turning point for c!Dream. He's chill with L'manberg at that point(whaaa??) Wilbur pushed him into a role with Threats (will be so Ambitious) it's just Very interesting in general
Ranboo giving Techno the new axe ☹️🤧
Idk if it counts as lore but Dream following Puffy around the server
ranboo trading foolish ownership of the shulker for a favor. and then forgetting he did this. an insight into enderwalking ranboo
Bro EVRRYTHING involving c!dream even in the background for 0,01 sec
C!George blowing up the whole dsmp and killing everyone and reaching godhood in his dreams, C!George standing in front of the prison longingly during a c!q lore stream, C!Dream's spirit speech 🥰🥰, the whole final minutes of the c!discduo finale with the nuke and the softness and vulnerability in dream's voice, every time dreamXD appeared 💖💖
Theyre not one of my favorites, but I did watch all of aimseys dsmp streams. Their thing was "Never waste a pretty sunset," and if I think about that on the way home from work, sometimes I'll take the longer scenic route to get a really good view of the sunset, just because of that phrase.
that bit when c!tom uno reverses put your armor in the hole
George destroying the dream smp, doomsday (techno pov) Dream prison escape confrontation with Tommy. Nicheal
“i don’t give a fuck about spirit!” it was such a distinct turning point from “bad guy” to villain. i love dream as a villain bc he was so goofy and awkward and then bam angst.
"It's just a stupid egg Skeppy!"
When wilbur lost the election. It was my first lore stream and after that it only improved in my eyes
The entirety of fundy's arc with wilbur, im still insane over that. Also when sapnap said he was born in fire that was swag
"I'm his friend, Tommy", "If my best friend is a necromancer-", literally any moments where someone is acknowledging themselves as Dreams friend or that they care about him.
I really like Dream and Sapnap’s confrontation after Dream escaped from prison, and also the staged finale reveal with Dream meeting up with Punz. They’re such good character and plot moments!! (Also there’s the entire prison arc but this thing would be 12 paragraphs long)
Quackity eating Schlatt’s heart on stage
I'm a BIG BIG BIG fan of c!q getting the message to go back to schlatt by being called sugar pumpkin. Something about it is so fawking sleazy
Tubbo pulling an axe on Quackity when he threatened to execute Ranboo
Schlatts death, everyone banning together and him thinking it was his birthday
i'm bizarrely fascinated by punz (attempting to?) convince purpled to join forces with him & dream. idk man it mesmerized me
dream beating Tommy the fuck to death DESERVED
AUs and headcanons we love...
Animals/forms
White enderman dream
cKarl and cDream being bunnies 🐰
Dragon!Dream where XD suppressed his hybrid traits so he’d possessive but doesn’t know why
Goat-hybrid c!Dream and obvs puffy as his mother
WORM BABY DREAM
wolf!Punz!!!! I don't see enough of it but it fits so well!!
Shapeshifter dream
Cdream is just a pair of empty clothes.
Dream being just a human is really cool
Ships/relationships
c!dnf being canon after all
c!DNF were secretly engaged before shit hit the fan. Nobody knew but them.
i love xdnf i think its just so funky, XD as a whole is such and underrated character and i loved his interactions with bad, george, and foolish a lot.
Soulmates but they're aware of it and time spent without the other one knowing slowly kills them (madduo ofc (": )
I know it ain't most peoples cup of tea but I love the family dynamic headcannon between puffy dream and foolish
Dream isn't Puffys bio son and she didn't adopt him when he was little, she just found this grown ass man following her around the server and decided that's her baby now
awesamity forced dream into a relationship during prison i think thats neat and fun to experiment with
Sad Dream
that after prison dream is more animalistic in his movement
Anything related to scars or injuries that c!Dream got from the prison
His hair turning white from revival and stress Or runes from revival on his skin
White haired streaks, scars staying after the dsmp finale, Dream suffering temporary or permanent hearing and vision loss, Dream being created by or otherwise connected to XD somehow, Karl or Wilbur coming back after the dsmp finale with all their memories intact to see everyone getting along happily and being like “what???”
Syndicate Dream
Syndicate Dream is the beloved AU. Let my man heal and have friends and healthy relationships and pets.
syndicate dream! also love the winged dream aus :3
I love post-prison Syndicate healing AUs and the $100,000 duel scar
Former gladiator c!Techno and post prison syndicate healing aus with c!Dream
any dream with the syndicate au tbh.. the soft healing is so perfect <3
cDream peacefully recovering at the Arctic Commune is something very soft and fluff and close to my heart.
I still love Syndicate!Dream AUs (or really any AU that sets him in a place where he can actually try and heal from everything that's happened to him)
The Syndicate AU is just so sweet. It's literally the only "good" ending, I'm sorry. I just love it very, very much.
Dreamon
I love the dreamon stuff
Anything involving Dreamons/Dreamon hunters, esp. that focuses on expanding the worldbuilding and not just “generic demon possession plot.”
We glossed over the "Why does god look like you?" and the whole Dreamon mini arc Far Too Quickly, Like YOU GUYS, WE COULD HAVE HAD MONSTER HUNTERS AND MORE WORLDBUILDING-
Birdhouse? I think?
kat and angela's coparent au
jmah nifty
idk what jmah/mayfair is but i keep on seeing posta about it that seem epic :D
is awesamdream in gay love even a headcanon anymore /j . scrapped lore canon. uhhh. prison drugs??? uhhh. schlatt initiated revive book deal. all ive got boss. lots of fav AUs but jmah + birdhouse + 7y are the ones that spin around in my head rent free that are my own. and coparent makes me SAD
Butterfly chat
dream's butterfly chat headcanon
The butterflies
physical manifestations of chats!! especially with dream's as butterflies or other bugs that typically symbolize things like peace and light
And more!
Dream, George, and/or Sapnap getting involved in Eggpire
My friend and i made a percy jackson au that was really good
Its more of a fanfic where everyone are small bloobs and the reader takes care of them
And Tubbo and Fundy like modded stuff, I bet they could have convinced Dream that they could like a new mini mc project, like idk, smth vaguely based on stranger things but also magic and paranormal and just ughhhhhh, I miss it so much
C!Dream Autistic
Dream is blind in one eye Don't know why but I love that
c!quackitys fucked up eye is magic now that trope just SLAPS. I like the c!Tommy "came back wrong" stuff too.
The Cornelius and C!Dream headcanon.
Syndicate Dream aus are always so comfy, I enjoy reading those a lot. Protégé Tommy aus can be fun to read (I love a good discduo dynamic). I also love reading superhero aus, as long as they don’t depict Dream as a cardboard cutout of evil. I like to read a lot of aus, but those ones stuck out to me especially.
Ranboo's enderwalk isn't actually taller he's just more confident and stands up straighter
Love manhunt AUs, they are the best. also love when Dteam focussed superheroAU. for canon compliet love cDNF or George just going of his rockers. George going insane after canon also great.
I had a headcanon that gods can't fit entirely in the world of the server: Callahan left his voice out, Drista and Kristin left their bodies and possessed players, and DreamXD left his real face so he made a new one from Dream's
Ranboo, Punz and Dream held a disney movie night marathon before staged finale in order to get inspiration
I adore the convict childcare au so much
Ran and Tubbo's son Michael is mute and they use sign with him sometimes
Techno helping dream in prison after quakty would come by letting him have techno’s cape
Everything is the same except everyone is a sock puppet
Pandora's Vault as a living entity
my self indulgent splatoon crossover
Does Eret's finale stream idea count
Modern AU is rotting my brain and sparing none of my braincells
The idea that the revive book as ‘threads’ of life that just take someone out of death by dragging them out of their limbo or weaving their bodies kinda like crocheting
Minecraft worlds are servers +admin + XD was the failsave for the server but got corrupted and gained sentience
I'm attached to the c!q being a trans dude trope . Like yeah little loud poly bi shortguy with something to prove is transgender BIG shocker
Dream comforts Punz after the Egg and frequently checks his eyes for him
Also Guard Dog AU by sunny and all its variations because I love that angst and everyone's take on it REALLY GOOD
Love black dog au so far. Favorite headcanon is that dream has a lot of inhuman traits and is very very expressive!
C!DNF roleswap au by me because it's very self indulgent and brought many demons and my friends have helped on it <3.
C!dream living in Kinoko, with what it implies for c!dteam, c!dream & XD, the c!fiances (because Q will still be around) and c!Techno's interractions with the kingdom
Dream is homeless from techno, its just really funny to me
c!dream eggs monday. does that count?
Okay so theres this AU that only got like two posts on tumblr I think its called Stoplight? Where Dream is an eldrich abomination that thought he was just playing with his friends and that none of the wars were real, hell he doesn't even know what war is! He thought all of DSMP was just one big game of Manhunt where he pretended to play and had a safe word system which Ranboo triggered on accident and revealed to everyone that Dream could stop all of this at any time.
My own canon-divergent AU featuring enemies-to-friend pre-finale Dream and Tommy, 👍. Tommy stalks Dream to a house he made, tries to kill him, fails and gets captured, Dream experiments revival on him and ends up making him immortal, Tommy decides to drag Dream down with him and also make him immortal, and they somehow kind of become “friends” along the way. They are very dear to me, <3. As for a headcanon, the first thing that comes to mind is the idea that Dream’s first limbo was the prison. Another one, tho, is the idea that the revival book is binary, and that when it gets burnt it worms its way into the code, bringing the specified player back to life.
Sorry to the people whose responses were cut. There were just so many. Finally, there will be another results post soon for all the crazy things that were said!
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macbooth · 9 months
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full of childish whimsy in a hostile fashion tonight so here’s every shakespeare clown i can think of and whether or not i think i’d beat them in a fight
(i do not mean fools i mean clowns. they do not need to be the secret genius of the play. if they are stupid in every way shape or form i am including them here)
Puck (A Midsummer Night’s Dream) No chance. Bro’s got that magic and ALSO has a big strong scary fairy king as his bear, like, do not separate them. If I even tried throwing hands at this cunt I’d get torn to shreds and used as glitter dude, I’d be over. 0/10
Nick Bottom (A Midsummer Night’s Dream) I could but I’d feel bad. I also think he’d put up a really solid fight. Like this is out of donkey form, bro was a physical worker. Like I reckon I could win a fight with some of the tradies I’ve seen but I don’t think it’d be easy. Also he’s just really dumb so I would feel a little bad. Donkey form though, I’m running away. Scary as shit. I am afraid of horses though. 6.5/10
Touchstone (As You Like It) Absolutely I could beat the shit out of this man. I hate him so much. Full of hostility towards this fucker. His clothes aren’t even subtle I could find this bitch in the forest no time and hunt him down and rip him to shreds, fuckin court jester doesn’t even have the roughness of the country on his side. 9/10 (-1 point cause he definitely fights dirty but I just hate him so much I’d win)
Jaques (As You Like It) First off he’s absolutely a clown. Second off I’ve played him before so my word is gospel. Third off bro has no fucking chance against me. He’s a podcast bro who thinks I don’t know that Tame Impala is one dude. I’d ask him why we can’t print more money and he would explode instantly and it would be the funniest thing he did with his life. 10/10
Audrey & Corin (As You Like It) I’m lumping these two together cause in the show I did they were one character (and I also played them). I wouldn’t even want to fight these two. And even if I wanted to Audrey would absolutely be able to beat the shit out of me and I would thank her. Our setting was in semi-modern country Australia, that girl would have a shotgun. 2/10
Autolycus (Winter’s Tale) Just like Jaques to me. He might be a little bit harder because he’d change costume and I’d get confused because I have no object permanence but other than that what has he got. Bitterness? Resentment? Bitch so did I when I was 15 grow up experience love. 8/10
Falstaff (Henry IV parts 1 & 2, Merry Wives of Windsor) I don’t actually know about this one but he is very punchable. I feel like he’d let me punch him and I think one punch would be enough for me. I think that would satisfy my urge to punch him. He may be a knight but let’s be honest he’s shit at it so I stand by this. 4/10 (just cause I don’t really give a shit)
The Dromios (Comedy of Errors) I absolutely could beat them in a fight but I would feel So Bad. You see how they’re literally already treated in the play, I wanna give them a break. That being said they’re both kinda dicks but they’re going through it already so I’d wanna give them a breather. I would win though, even if they both were attacking at once. 7/10
Launcelot Gobbo (Merchant of Venice) He’s such a prick but I would be laughing too hard at his name to fight him. Bro’s name is Gobbo. Bro’s name is basically Gobby. Imagine being named Blowjob. I would lose my mind. I would laugh so so hard I would collapse. My heart would fail. Biggest L name out there bro. Launcelot Gobbo oh my god. 3/10
Launce (Two Gentlemen of Verona)  Nah man he has an attack dog. I don’t care what breed of dog Crab is in a production I fully believe he would kill for Launce, that’s just their dynamic. I understand them better than anyone else (I have a dog). Also he’s already working for Proteus, is that not punishment enough? 4/10
Speed (Two Gentlemen of Verona) I mean I definitely could fight him. I don’t imagine he’s got much fighting experience. But once again, he has to deal with Valentine which does feel like it would be cruel to inflict more onto him. Like Valentine’s not as bad as Proteus but fuck is he stupid. Also if I accidentally flubbed a punch Speed could absolutely tear me a new asshole with his words and I would sob and cry and literally never recover. 4/10
The Porter (Macbeth) Fuck no. Bro definitely has a knife on him at all times. I can’t explain why I think this I just do. He works night shift, he definitely doesn’t get paid enough for his dog shit job, he would absolutely try to stab me just to spice up his evening without me starting a fight. 1/10
Trinculo (Tempest) Yes. Sorry, you’re Russell Brand? L. I could kick your ass. And he’s like drunk for half the show, and almost fucked a fish. I doubt his judgement is good enough to say the alphabet backwards let alone dodge a punch. He couldn’t even get Caliban to kick my ass (who definitely could by the way) cause Caliban fucking hates him. Bro, failwife to Stephano should pay more. But it doesn’t. 8.5/10
Dogberry (Much Ado About Nothing) Without Verges? Yes. With Verges? No way. Those two are a power couple in the dumbest possible way. He would absolutely try to get me arrested though but I simply would not go to prison. What’s he gonna do? Send me to prison? I’m already not going. 7/10
Mercutio (Romeo and Juliet) No chance. Unless Romeo fucked up so bad like he did in the actual play, I would have no chance against this dude. I wouldn’t even want to even if I could. I’m a Benvolio stan first and foremost and a person second you think I’d wanna fight his bestie? Only exception is if it was an actual fight club and not just a pure fight out of hatred. I feel like Mercutio could give Brad Pitt Fight Club Realness, outfits included.  I would still lose though. 2.5/10
Don Adriano De Armado (Love’s Labour’s Lost) I reckon I could wreck this dude’s shit. You know that gif where the fuckin dude is doing all these cool sword moves and then he just gets shot? You know the one. I forgot where it’s from but you know the one. That would be this fight. Armado would bust out his flair, his razzle dazzle, his pizzaz, and I would just deck him I think. That’s the power you need in this world, I think. Power of fist to face. Peace and love. <3 8/10
Costard (Love’s Labour’s Lost) I do not think Costard would realise he was being fought even as he was actively getting hit in the face. I know how to say honorificabilitudinitatibus, he doesn’t even have that against me. Bro couldn’t even confuse me with that, I learnt that, like an adult. Anyway yeah I’d kick his ass. 9/10
Holofernes & Sir Nathaniel (Love’s Labour’s Lost) This is the same man to me. I would destroy them both. Fuckin nerds. Flowery ass language nerds. I support gay rights and gay wrongs but the only reason I couldn’t fight those two gay muppets who heckle is cause they’re too far away (in a theatre booth), these two gay muppets who heckle are right in front of me. I’d kick their tweed cladded asses. 10/10
Jaquenetta (Love’s Labour’s Lost) She is just like Audrey to me. I could never bring myself to hurt her. Also she’s pregnant and I feel like it’s fucked up to hit a pregnant woman just for fun. Also she could absolutely wreck my shit. Please wreck my shit Jaquenetta. 0.5/10
Moth (Love’s Labour’s Lost) This little fucker should be an INSTANT knock out but I just know this fucker bites. He’s a shit talking 8 year old? Oh he plays wolves on the playground, I just know it. He plays wolves and he’s definitely been suspended for it, I just know it in my heart. Sure, I could kick him, but he would grab hold of my foot and try to rip it off. We would shake hands and agree to part ways, having met our match. He, who plays wolves, and me, who played fairies, leave the fight with our heads high and respect in our hearts. I am kidding of course but I do think we would tie. 5/10
Lear’s Fool (King Lear) There’s already so much fighting going on, I don’t even think they’d notice if I just started kicking this dude. Not only could I fight him and win, I think I’d get away with it too. I’d win not only physically but socially too. What’s he gonna do? Tell his boss? Bro he’s preoccupied with his whole kingdom crumbling, grow up. 9/10
Lavatch (All’s Well That Ends Well) This is more meta but my hatred of this play would fuel me here. I would fight literally anyone in this play if given the chance, not a joke. I would get in the ring with literally anyone from this play, but honestly, out of them all I weirdly respect Lavatch the most, maybe because he at least knows that he’s a cunt, unlike literally everyone else who Just Suck. I do think he’s probably scrappy though, so I wouldn’t leave unscathed. I also think if he got the upper hand he would be so so awful about it, so I’d really have to fight. 6/10
Sir Toby Belch & Sir Andrew Aguecheek (Twelfth Night)  Andrew is canonically bad at fighting, and honestly I do not believe Toby would be any better. Love both of these guys but if I had to fight them both at once I think I would be able to just move out of the way and they’d bonk each other on the head like a cartoon. They’re just silly guys. 9/10
Maria (Twelfth Night) Every woman clown could beat my ass. Audrey, Jaquenetta, Maria, they are all so special to me and would all also fucking destroy me. Maria especially cause I just know she is full of hate. You don’t hatch a plan like the Malvolio plan unless there’s something deeply worrying about you. She’s a Scorpio to me. <3 I do love her, she’d demolish me. 0/10
Feste (Twelfth Night) Would actually kill me. -5/10
I know I’ve definitely missed some but uhhh don’t expect me to remember every clown even if I’m neurodivergent about these plays please. <3
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khookn · 6 months
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I’ve been lurking your account for awhile and really like your Clone High oc!!! Can we get some more info/lore?
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I'M SOOO EXCITED YOU WANT TO HEAR MORE ABOUT MY SUN TZU CLONE OH!!! Sorry if this isn't very clear it's because I'm not good with this sort of stuff I've had since August so like I got so so much
I'LL BE HAPPY TO ANSWER TO MORE IF NEED BE I HAVE SO MUCH SO CLICK BELOW FOR THE WORD WALL YOU'RE ABOUT TO PREPARE YOURSELF FOR!! :D
His inspiration stems from a lot of things like my irl friends, him being the opposite of Confucius, other stuff and a bit of the clonefather himself so yeah it's a doozy how much I got.
So, baseline is because he's a clone of the war general, strategist and philosopher I was like "yeah no this dude would mostly be a gamer for stuff that requires strategy and winning like League of Legends (I'm sorry)", I pin him as the type of gamer who'd have hundreds of games on steam clocking no less than 300 hours each and has a huge variety of stuff he plays but he can't stand some like minecraft because the world is too vast for him. Also he likes playing his games ranked and he's a rather good sport in games.
So like you know the shadow government right, like because Sun Tzu is one of those clones who in fact inherited the talents of their clonefathers and is able to utilize it really well, they're like "ohhh shit he could actually be like the legendary general of his clonefather" but he doesn't care at all he uses whatever tactic and strategy and psychology wit he inherited into gaming.
He's a pretty well known name because he's insane when it comes to gaming and winning esports competitons and whatnot so it brings to Confucius right because Confucius would've caught wind of it and want to grab him to do podcasts with him, in attempts to buttering Sun into doing so he got attached and clingy along the way and his entire dynamic with Sun just wound up being that because Sun doesn't actually have that many friends thanks to his gaming hyperfixation.
And like upbringing is,,, how do I put this
His upbringing like, his foster parents right, is different from confu in the sense I want it to be a household where he feels loved despite not having shown it because everyone's got their own boundaries. In my head, dad, mom, 3 triplet brothers so his dad looks like dude nukem, mom is a psych op, brothers look like replica toy soldiers, navy, airforce and field soldier respectively. The reason why he just wound up being a gamer was due to hand me downs from his brother and he got so hyperfixated at it he'd rather do nothing but that. Like he has nothing to do with the theme and aesthetic his family got like it's to the point the interior of the house is hella military heavy and shit and if you go into sun tzu's room it's soundproofed RTX light hell. Organized mess setup.
His personality I'd say is very blunt and direct, doesn't really care about his image, he's mellow but has a rather hyperactive side to him too, his temper is rather calm nerve but can be flicked like a switch but it's so hard to really do so but if he's angered he's sure to actually scare people without having to raise his fists. He knows how to talk people into submission and such if he really has to I think. His gaming addiction certainly did stunt or inhibit a lot of aspects in him but he doesn't really mind it as long as he has fun.
He's the kind of guy who'd be good at everything he does pretty easily but it doesn't seem to matter because like all he does is play video games for like bajillions of hours so it's not like it's really going to go anywhere but there so he's like, someone you know has potential but depending on how, or well, how the shadow government sees it is wasted potential.
He's super camera shy and has stage fright so he's not very good at performing for a crowd, he's also cursed whenever it comes to being in a camera because whenever his picture gets taken it wounds up scary or blurry and he's unable to fake a smile for the camera and while he likes taking pictures it's just that pictures taken by him are often garbage too like, when he takes food pics, it's AFTER he's eaten so people won't even be able to tell what he has eaten and that he just generally doesn't give that much thought into it either.
Few additional quirks include that he's aroace, he could actually get in shape very easily if he wanted to but since he's sitting on a gaming chair most of the time he just wound up tubby, if he were to exercise it's freakishly quick but he can also return to being chubby too. He's also severely addicted to G-Fuel even if it doesn't really work with him.
In regards to gaming he's able to not sleep for days at a time just to play over the sheer will but in turn he would have to sleep a lot when he's completely tired like he's THAT PASSIONATE (addicted).
Idk if this is understandable or anything but wow this is a word wall but I know I have a lot more than that I'm just not used to doing text posts. I'd be happy to answer other stuff regarding him!
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bootobeneficiary · 2 years
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Your virginity post was giving!!! You should talk more about how to date when one has never done it before!
Hey thank you so much! It’s very warming to hear this because it was a special question for me to ask. I encourage everyone to hold their “virginity” (even if you’ve had sex idc you can be a born again virgin whenever you want) as long as you feel like doing so.
Virginity Post Mentioned
Dating Up: Urtoospoiled Step by Step Master Post
This is another special question for me because I’m answering from the perspective of someone who has actually been a placeholder, a pick me (yes I know. Immense shame but triple the growth) and allowed myself to be played and taken advantage of.
The Urtoospoiled way of dating isn’t conventional and the goal is the gain and elevate. Why?
Because these Masculines are looking to see if you can add value to their image, legacy or hard on.
Straight like that.
It’s important to entertain masculines who can contribute to your level up because it’s absolutely mandatory for you to leave every experience with a gain, big or sometimes small in order to pivot to something big. (I’m calling them “experiences” and not “relationships” because Urtoospoiled strays away from encouraging anything serious. It’ll happen naturally)
This Step by Step Master Post involves rotational dating, hypergamous values and feminine seduction. Let’s begin:
Research & Prepare
Even if it’s starting off of Tumblr with dating advice you find from reliable sources, you must have an understanding of what dating up looks like in your life. Yes, this is the Urtoospoiled way but this is a guide that allows you to mold your personality and boundaries into the advice given.
This includes reading dating books from both a feminine and masculine perspective and learning about yourself as well. What do you want? What don’t you like? Try some shadow work prompts. Here are some books recommended so far.
Utilize all resources to gain as much knowledge as possible. This includes YouTube videos, podcasts, even movies. You’ll soon catch yourself daydreaming of brain storming your ideal dating experience.
Even if you don’t have an ideal dating experience yet, that’s ok. Start with doing the following:
A Moodboard of 6 photos: Pics can include date ideas, ideal masculine, affirmations, gifts received, etc.
5 traits a Masculine must have in order to receive your attention
4 first date questions and the answers you will NOT accept (ex: do you have kids? “Yes I have 5 and 4 baby mamas” have a splendid life)
3 boundaries of yours that you will never bend (ex: 1- I will not lose my virginity under any circumstances 2- I don’t give away my real number and instead a Google Voice 3- Before any date, I share my location with my roommate and update my last known location via text)
2 things you want to gain out of this experience
1 red flag that’ll make you cut a Masculine off immediately
Gain Value & Quality
This is putting the actions behind what you’ve prepared and researched for. Whether that’s giving your appearance a tweak and touch up, whether that’s bucking down and learning the languages you need to, whether that’s getting some income of your own and less handouts- it’s important to have something about you that catches and keeps a man of values eye.
This dating guide is for the ones that are past the “level 1” tests of “I need my phone bill paid” or “my rent is due boo”. We are leveling up here.
When you ask for things, it needs to be for big girl responsibilities. Car maintenance…not your car payment. Phone screen repair…not your phone bill.
Now many will not agree, but Urtoospoiled does not vouch for feminine figures to entertain others without establishing themselves first. Get your license, save up a few thousands to buy your first car instead of rushing to get one financed/leased. Reach your savings goal. Start going to therapy. It’s important to be stable so there’s no chance of anyone taking advantage of that.
Though most men want to be your Superman, they don’t want to feel like they’re cleaning up your mess and you should never give them such satisfaction to do so. It’s very psychological.
That’s not “Miss Independent I don’t need a man” that’s “I only entertain men who can make my priority theirs”.
Build yourself to be worth showing off and kept. Don’t rush the process, this personally took me close to two years to mold myself into the woman I considered of value and quality.
Things you should have in order:
Your finances
Your housing situation
Your mental health
Your expectations out of experiences you’ll soon encounter (I want material items, career connections, property, a job in tech I didn’t have to work hard for, etc.)
Your income (even though you’ll be paying for no dates, you never want to go out without extra emergency money for any reason)
Your self esteem
Get Your Feet Wet
You’re prepared enough, you’re happy, and you’re ready to date. This is where we introduce rotational dating:
You’re going to have a basketball team starting line up of suitors. These are a list of men ordered by top p(l)ayers to your benchwarmers.
Top P(l)ayer: He’s spending above and beyond in time, effort, attention and financially. He brings value to the experience and has proven reliability.
Standard: He’s spending enough in time, effort, attention and financially. A variety of reasons can keep him categorized as standard including his tight schedule, others give better benefits, or sometimes budget. A regular in rotation though since he has also proven reliability without a doubt.
Benchwarmer: Your standbys. They’re eager for your attention but you’re either too busy juggling others or too fed up with their inconsistency however the benefits flows…just not enough to meet the requirements to receive your attention. Keep them on ice.
Remember, keep these men in rotation.
Treat yourself to a day of shopping for your first date with the masculine your manifesting. Put yourself in that mode to fuel your desire of dating and dating intentionally. You’re not here to waste your time, but you’re certainly here to enjoy it.
Everyone has different opinions on dating apps but if you ever expect something serious on these apps…that’s on you. However, I’ve had great experiences especially on Hinge. I’ve been invited to parties, dined at some places I wouldn’t have otherwise. I say that to say…start off by downloading an app. On Hinge especially, don’t use your immediate location but either the downtown of the city you stay in (or somewhere else if you really live downtown), the next city over, or at least a few blocks off if you’re somewhere like NYC.
Though I’m an advocate for apps, I’m also a large critic of the word “freestyle” because imagine viewing going out as “freestyling”, if we are using it in the music context. This is a requirement. If anything, you should view social media as freestyling. That’s not your foundation, the streets are. Social media is either practice or a “purse pocket tool” that you pull out when you’re traveling, your line-up is out of town and you’re in the mood for someone to pay for your dates, etc.
You should be a familiar face in a few restaurants/bars. At least one bartender should know you by name. Start with one restaurant or bar then work your way towards adding more onto your list. But get off your ass and get off of it regularly.
As you’re getting your feet wet, for your safety and feminine benefit you should:
Have a safety plan. Someone should know where you are going. If anything, utilize Tumblr and find a safety buddy. I’ve done so before.
Have a date night wardrobe
Establish your favorite bar and/or restaurant
Detail exactly what you want to gain out of your dating experience right up until you’re with someone who you can see yourself saying “yes” if they proposed.
Start Dating
Now that you’ve taken the time out to prepare & research, you’ve gained value & quality yourself before looking for any in anyone else and you’ve detailed an idea of what you expect and what you want to gain- it’s now time to simply start.
Don’t be shy. This isn’t a game for the timid. You see a cute boy? Find a way to have to brush past him and say “excuse me handsome”. The greatest tip I can give you is take any opportunity to make a man blush even if it’s internally.
Be open minded yet listen to your intuition. I’ve met some of the most generous, greatest people who I would’ve never taken the chance on if I was closed minded. Allow yourself to drift outside of your comfort zone sometimes.
Dating is networking. Networking is key. You can meet your future spouse dealing with your current pastime. You can meet your future bridesmaid at a party some Software Engineer on Hinge invited you to.
You’re going to meet a lot of losers and have to cut off a lot of good men solely because they no longer qualify. Remember, you’re dating with intention and that’s to become a wife one day. Don’t ever be afraid to let someone go because their time is up with you (Think of dating just like Flavor of Love or any dating reality show but less gross)
Good luck Goddess!
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oxygen-stealer · 9 months
Text
Scriddler fic recommendations!!!
Stay (2017) by iammemyself
Rating: General
49,873 words, 11/11 chapters (discontinued)
Arkhamverse
After Arkham Knight, Jonathan and Edward move to Canada together, where the full weight of Edward's grief crashes down on the both of them.
This fic is fucking miserable in the best way possible. It feels so grey and depressing like almost the entire time even with its ups and downs. Things get better, but it's fucking hard. Legit among my favorite fics. Also Jon's so obscenely old here I love it lmfao. (There's also a Stay (2016) I haven't actually looked at, might be a prequel or smthn idk)
I'm With You by nonbinaryspock
Rating: Mature
50,684 words, 35/35 chapters
Jonathan and Edward rekindle their somewhat messy relationship from their college years. Things are still a bit messy but they've at least got some hindsight.
Hella angsty, they're both so horribly dysfunctional <3 (specifically Jonathan will just say/think the absolute wildest shit and then just go on like that's normal). I really just love how visceral their emotions can be.
Runs In The Family by ChaoticMimzy
Rating: Mature
8,703 words, 5/5 chapters
Edward's father dies and he goes to his funeral (solely to be there for his sister, mind you) where he grapples with past trauma and catholic guilt.
Very very rogues podcast coded (highest compliment). It's mostly Edward-centric and doesn't focus on the scriddler too much but it's still worth a read. Edward's rage towards his childhood circumstances is so potent and agonizing I love it so much. He should get to kill god a little bit imo
(More below)
Let me play you a song on my violin by batmanforeverlol
Rating: Teen
7,206 words, 1/1 chapters
Ghost AU. Edward is a retired criminal turned private investigator who finds himself running through a cemetery, where he meets a man playing a violin.
Ngl I cried super hard reading this but it's also one of my absolute favorites. Why would you write this? Why would you hurt me in this way? (It's really sweet but also really fucking sad, you should read it. Share my pain)
Terminal by iammemyself, promethea (Aerosol)
Rating: General
7,073 words, 1/1 chapters
Edward gets brain cancer again, this time the Lazarus pits aren't gonna help him.
As you could imagine, this fic is just sad from start to finish. I cried so fucking much reading it its not even funny.
He Just Likes The Rush by Human_Resourccs
Rating: General
16,072 words, 9/9 chapters
Jonathan's thrill-seeking brings him some interesting company. (Or, as I know it: the fic where a fucking spider lives in Jonathan's hair for months and Edward still lets him touch him. If that's not love I don't know what is)
Sapiophile by XavIniesta685
Rating: Mature
17,529 words, 3/3 chapters
The Moon Is Not Made Of Cheese by Stry_Shttu
Jonathan has given up in every sense and is about to leave Gotham until a series of events change his mind. A lot of "falling in love within a day" fics can feel kinda forced but this one flows really naturally.
Rating: Teen
7,820 words, 1/1 chapters
Arkhamverse
Edward is lonely, Jonathan goes to see him while also being Jason Todd's really lame dad. A good mix of sweet and silly.
The Boy With The Thorn In His Side by 30PacketsofKetchup
Rating: Teen
21,542 words, 8/? chapters (this fic hasn't been updated in like 5 years so be ready for that specific brand of agony)
Teenager AU. Jonathan meets the mildly annoying new boy in town and they bond.
I looove this fic so much I'm absolutely heartbroken that it wasn't ever finished. Idk the vibes are nice and I love how flustered young Jon gets when he's got a crush.
South of Hell by nonbinaryspock
Rating: Teen
14,194 words, 35/35 chapters
Teenager AU. No one in their awful little town likes Edward or Jonathan, but they've at least got eachother. Very southern gothic.
Exit Wounds by nonbinaryspock
Rating: Teen
18,066 words, 38/38 chapters
Demon/supernatural AU. Edward is a private investor and his demon ex-boyfriend suddenly shows up after 5 years in need of a place to stay. Edward is thoroughly unimpressed.
I'm in love with this AU big time, it's got some pretty neat world building. I also love how distinctive the characterizations here are. BAH I'm not great at describing but it's very angsty and good.
Frighteningly Unprofessional by bookynerdgoblin
Rating: Mature
28,412 words, 11/11 chapters
One of Jonathan's students knows about his unethical experiments, however instead of reporting him, he offers to help in exchange for his partnership. Things spiral from there. Edward is purposefully being super obvious and Jonathan talks to his cat like a person.
Words by scarecrowv
Rating: General
4,651 words, 1/1 chapters
Edward's daughter keeps calling Jon "mama" and he has no idea how to handle it, aka psychology professor Dr Jonathan Crane talks to a 2 year old like an adult.
A Case Study in Step-Parenting by Ifthinkerwrites
Rating: General
16,053 words, 5/5 chapters
Another lil scriddler family fic, Jonathan navigates step-parenthood :)
Sitzfleisch by SproxGrail
Rating: Mature
1,205 words, 1/? chapters
Jonathan is living in Edward's walls and talks about him like a little freak. I need this fic to update again please please please it's so creepy I'm in love with it
Some series to look at as well!
Memoryverse by Enigmatic_Robin
Rating: General
15,393 words, 11 works
A bit more of a psychological horror/thriller than a romance. Jonathan is manipulating Edward into complete dependency. It seems easy while Edward is in love with him, but he'd better watch out for when that veil slips.
Scriddler Family AU by Enigmatic_Robin
Rating: General
17,722 words, 9 works
Scarecrow and Riddler end up raising Stephanie Brown and Tim Drake. And all the shenanigans that come with that.
Love Me Dead by lymongrab
Rating: Explicit
25,624 words, 6 works
Kinda just a nice progression in Jonathan and Edward's relationship with some added spice here and there. Mostly pretty sweet.
Arkhamverse by iammemyself
Rating: General
354,608 words, 28 works
In which Edward and Jonathan's relationship is a bit complicated, but Edward is also a robot dad!!
(Everything from here is nsfw centric)
This section would be longer but i actually found out the person who wrote some nsfw fics i really liked was actually a proshipper weirdo so I'm not including those. Why can't people be normal
Kiss The Go-Goat by korereapers
Rating: Explicit
5,203 words, 1/1 chapters
Demon AU. Edward summons a demon and gets a little carried away
Shout out to this fic for getting me into Ghost, the only band I ever listen to now lmfao. Anyway I'm a big sucker for anything involving monster/demon/creature!Jon
Connected by korereapers
Rating: Explicit
6,458 words, 1/1 chapters
A hookup gets wayyy more emotional than expected. But, y'know, they're not in love or anything. Right?
Comfort by curiouscorvid (prometheanTactician)
Rating: Explicit
4,866 words, 1/1 chapters
Mad Max AU. Edward is traversing the wasteland, where he finds and helps a desperate escapee.
I've found that Mad Max AUs are always so sad no matter what even though the movie itself is kinda silly lmfao.
worldly pleasures by leetheshark
Rating: Explicit
3,227 words, 1/1 chapters
Arkhamverse
Jonathan doesn't really know how to handle any sensation that isn't painful.
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scribefindegil · 10 months
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If you're up to sharing, do you have any examples of works for your narrative chart? These seem incredibly tasty to think about but I'm not sure what sorts of things to look for
okay here are some v. eclectic examples of Narratives That Are At Least A Little Bit Alive because that's what I'm thinking about right now, with explanations:
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Princess Tutu: Absolutely the most extreme version of both "is alive" and "wants to eat you". The Narrative is a literal guy pulling all the strings behind the scenes! And he sucks! All that matters to him is The Story and not only does he view all the characters within it as puppets, he's dead-set on manipulating things until the story turns into a tragedy.
Stranger Than Fiction: (I don't know how many people have watched this movie, but I love it) The Narrative is alive and it will stop at nothing to turn this guy's life into a beautiful tragedy--until the author realizes that her protagonist is real and has to decide whether or not to interfere with her own story to save him! Could argue that this is further right but because it's the author and not the character fighting it, that pulled it further towards Love for me.
Discworld Witches: The Narrative in every Discworld book is alive, but the Witches books are Stories About Stories in a very specific way. The Narrative knows what it wants, and it's going to fight back, and all of the protagonists are positioned against it (because everyone knows the witch in the story is Bad, right?)
Midst Podcast: The Narrative is alive but it is just having a funky good time. True neutral on the X axis.
Community: Really hard to categorize because like. The narrative is alive but it's also self-imposed. Whether it loves you or wants to eat you varies SO MUCH from episode to episode and between characters within any given episode. But I feel like the show as a whole is ABOUT trying to build a narrative that loves you (as a way to love yourself and the people around you). Skews heavily to the right post-Season 3.
TAZ Balance: Most ttrpgs (actual play shows and irl games) are going to be somewhere in this quadrant just due to the nature of the medium. They're about the characters because they don't function if they're not, and also there is someone literally building The Narrative in real-time! But Balance really leans into both aspects of this and I love it.
MP100: He is the protagonist of this story!!!!! The narrative is only slightly alive but the love is off the charts.
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not-poignant · 5 months
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Question! You juggle so many projects at once, and I think that's awesome. Do you have any advice for how you stay motivated (and/or organized) to work on so many different things? If I'm inspired by something, I want to focus on That Thing and Only That Thing — I have a really hard time pulling my brain away to work on other projects.
I'm wondering if a schedule would help? How do you even set your schedule?
This is a lot of questions packed into one ask, I realize — I guess I'm just in awe of your NaNoWriMo progress (you are insane (affectionate)) and want to pick your brain about your process a little.
Hope you have a lovely day!
Honestly anon, we all have our ways of writing, and it's best if you stick to what actually works for you instead of forcing yourself to do something different.
I'd recommend looking into some of the coaching / videos / podcasts by Becca Syme. A lot of it is simply based around accepting who you are, instead of forcing yourself to write like other people. Part of that is finding your strengths, but some of it is simply...being like 'okay, I'm like this as a writer.'
I don't write lots of projects because I taught myself to, but because I love doing it. I write more when I work on more projects. If I forced myself to only focus on one thing I'd feel stifled and held back, I'd write slower, and I actually think my writing would be muddier and less good.
Other people do best and write fastest when they're focusing on only one project at a time.
And which kind of person you are anon is something you'll figure out over time. Though it sounds like you might already know.
If you wanted to try working on multiple projects, I'd look at adding just one more into the rotation and seeing how it feels. Does it make you write more? Does it make you want to write more? Is it pulling focus? Is it making you lose inspiration on the other story? It's not so much a scheduling issue as it is simply...which one gets the words out?
The goal isn't to become like me as a writer, just like my goal isn't to become like other writers. The goal is to get your words out in the way that works best for you. If that's slowly, that's amazing. If that's fast, that's great, and while there are techniques you can try, it should always be with a view to respecting your organic process.
Many writers quit, or burnout, as soon as they stop respecting that process, or when they start feeling ashamed of their natural process and put pressure on themselves to do it another way.
Also I'll be honest, I'm working on too many projects right now and even though I'm loving it, I know it's too many. Like, I've deprioritised Underline the Red for my own sanity, and I am actually really looking forward to clearing a couple of stories from the schedule so I can focus on other things. About 3-4 stories is my sweet spot.
I don't exactly 'stay organised' anon. I actively want to work on all of these stories. And tonally they're all different, so if I feel like something more wholesome, or something darker, or something more pornographic, I have options. I do have a monthly kind of idea of what I should be working on (i.e. based on the upcoming schedule), but I can only really do that thanks to ADHD meds and I'm cautious of recommending techniques that I personally can only access and make use of because medication has fixed some of my executive dysfunction issues. If you're playing with any kind of unmedicated ADHD, there are tools that won't be as useful without tangible medical or therapeutic support. D:
I set my writing schedule via a mix of the writing that makes me money, alongside extra writing that I enjoy that doesn't make me money. Ideally I enjoy all of it and it's all fun. But the stuff that makes me money has to come first, because of like...life reasons. Idk where you're at professionally, or even if you want to do this professionally, and that would profoundly influence how I'd even suggest scheduling. If you don't have to schedule your writing, don't do it! If you don't have to make decisions like this, then don't make them!
Also, if I hated any of these stories, I'd put the story on hiatus. I don't believe in writing stuff I hate or resent writing. I know other people can make themselves do this and I'm glad that works for them, but I can't do it and I just...yeah. I have to love the story and enjoy it and not resent it to see it through, it's probably why there's so much drama happening all the time, and angst, I'm keeping my dumb hurt/comfort brain engaged lmao.
Never underestimate the power of also just 'I've been doing this for 10 years and I'm very practiced at stuff that other people will only learn with years of practice.' Some of this stuff doesn't have shortcuts, it just had a lot of time and 5 million words sunk into it. When I first started writing on AO3 I wrote one story at a time (though I did quickly become bored of that and moved to two). I wasn't making money. I didn't have a schedule for 9 years. I didn't want one.
The things I've learned... my wordcounts are reliable because I've just had a lot of practice writing. Unfortunately there's no trick to that, beyond sitting down and writing. The more you do, the more you learn about your own process and respect it, the more you write the stories you love, the better you'll get. And I've had times where I've burnt out, times where I've needed long breaks, times where I pushed too hard or forced myself to be like other writers and ended up wondering if I'd quit.
I want to give you easy answers, but the easiest one I have is - which way of writing brings you the most joy? Which way makes the words flow? Is it just one story at a time? That's great - that's your way. That might change in time, but don't force it to. You can experiment like a scientist and try different things, but be compassionate and accepting of whatever your innate way of doing things is.
I struggled so much with the fact that serials is just my way in a world of novelists. I cannot tell you how much misery it has brought me, trying to force myself to be a dedicated novelist when I always just wanted to write sequential stories live. And I really thought I was doing things wrong and you know, other authors thought I was doing things wrong.
It turned out I wasn't, but self-acceptance of my own methods and style went a long way in that process.
You might not like this response anon, and I apologise for not actually just lining up a schedule for you to try (I don't listen to my own schedules), but...it's okay to be someone who works on one story at a time. Or two stories only. I actually think it's awesome, and my writer-friend in my writer's group whose work I've been helping beta for years is a 'single project at a time' writer and a *rewriter* (no one wishes they could change their process as much as rewriters imho) and her writing is amazing. Like, incredibly good. (That's Stephanie Gunn by the way, for anyone who wants to read some cool science fiction / gothic fantasy).
So that's her process, and it's an amazing one, because it creates the writing that it does. Whatever your natural process is, anon, it's okay to write that way, trust me.
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charmac · 9 months
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speaking of things that were brought up in the show once and then never spoken of again, im honestly astounded that the revelation that luther was sending letters to mac and dennis was destroying them has seemingly had no impact on the characters beyond tggth. ik the fans probably discussed it more when the episode came out (which i wasnt there for) but its such a huge reveal like…mac who is ignored by his father 99% of the time was actually receiving letters from him and both of his best friends knew and didnt say anything. id love to see that revisited.
Tbh I think that one’s definitely a dead and buried event as spoken between Mac and Dennis, but I definitely wouldn’t say it’s had no further impact on the characters.
Mac’s internal struggle with his dad loving him certainly continued, and from what I see, it was pretty heavily built off the basis of Dennis destroying the letters:
Mac’s ‘PTSD’ nightmares are between him killing his father, just as he hopes he’ll say he loves him, and Dennis making a move on him, finally returning physical affection. I’d say that’s a good idea of how Mac processed/was processing what Dennis did. Mac’s mind seemed to be rationalising that he would kill his father by his own hands if he had access to him. Dennis physically destroyed the possibility, ‘proving he loved Mac’ (and further in Mac’s mind, Luther would kill Mac, given the opportunity).
But then, Mac does ‘kill’ [his relationship with] his father by his own hands when he comes out to him. His father doesn’t want Mac’s true self, and won’t listen. So when Mac does have a way to express himself in return, it hurts him. (Again, further affirming himself that Dennis cut off a potential relationship to protect him).
Now what’s really interesting is that they chose to go with letters again, in connection with Mac’s father, they further cast GSC to play his Uncle, made him gay, and weaved the idea of Mac having kids into the play. Isn’t that just all, a lot to chew on…
Honestly it’s hard for me to properly space it out, so I hope the following makes sense (and I am responding to this while on NYC transit, but what better place to dump my brain out):
I think the letters from Luther to Mac being destroyed by Dennis was a solid base they continue to build around through now. I mean, it’s certainly no coincidence that they decided on letters to be his family legacy, letters his mother destroyed before Mac could read. And then it can’t be a coincidence that the last time Mac spoke to his father, the first time he spoke to him since he found out about his letters, he expressed he wanted Mac to have children, and now Mac is telling his Uncle who looks like his father that he wants these new (old) letters for his children (alongside the theme of ignoring a shared sexuality). That’s not a coincidence, I really hope it’s not.
So I think it remains unsaid between the characters for a few reasons. 1. The confessions from TGGTH went down with the ship for all of them (stuff it down with some brown, bury it under the booth, kick it under the kegs). 2. Mac sees it as a twisted act of love from Dennis, so why teeter with that? 3. It’s a base plot device they continue to build off of for now that, maybe, eventually they’ll address, if we ever work back around to another Mac finale (We can see a theme of things being unburied… Or they’ll just let the insane analysts like me draw dots and connect lines and spout my shit through the rest of time.)
Though those are just my thoughts, certainly RCG will have to talk about it when they get to Seasons 11-13 on the Podcast, so that’s something to look forward to in 2.5-3 years!
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cyberphuck · 6 months
Text
The Human Voices Project
So I have a very very dear friend who has been blind since birth. They're actually pretty good at being blind-- they have a Masters in Eyeball Science, live independently, and make amazing art (by pressing their face so hard against the drawing surface to see it that they used to get sores on their cheeks!). They have also gone through a lot of shit-- some of it, but not all, due to being a disabled trans person-- and though they have been trying their hardest to keep a smile on their face, they live in a place where they have few in-person friends, accessible social spaces are hard to get to (or don't exist, or cost too much), and sometimes they don't have the energy to go out at all. They use a screen reader to hang out on tumblr and on discord etc, but one time, after a DnD session over voice chat, they told me that it was always so quiet in their apartment after the session was over, and that it was nice to hear real people talking. That stuck with me. Last week I started asking friends and family to record themselves talking-- about anything. My older brother and his wife told funny stories about crazy things they'd done. My friend who loves the circus arts described a particular act that they loved. Dad told a story of his own, and Seb and I recorded ourselves trading banter while he played Mario Kart. People read stories, read poems, described what they saw while on a jog through their neighborhood. A whole bunch of people, just talking, so that my blind friend could listen to a real human voice whenever they wanted-- not a polished podcast, not a sponsored youtube video, but a regular person.
I uploaded this first batch of audio files to a google drive folder and sent it over to my buddy. They loved it! They downloaded all the files to their phone so they could listen whenever they wanted. And I thought, there must be more people who want to tell stories about their lives, or talk about their favorite subject, or read poems that mean something to them.
If you have a way to record a digital audio file (most smartphones and tablets have a native recording app) and would like to participate in the Human Voices Project, you can send an audio file to thehumanvoicesproject (at) gmail [dot] com.
Guidelines: mp3 is the *preferred* format because it'll play on most devices without having to have a special app. If you send me something other than an mp3 I can convert it, but I would appreciate it if you converted it on your own.
most subjects are okay; the only thing that's absolutely a no is talking about or describing guts, innards, or viscera. Try to *avoid* explicitly describing abuse (of anyone, including animals), and if you're reading a story or poem, let me know if it's in the public domain or not so I can make sure to put those in a different folder.
you can introduce yourself if you want but you don't have to.
the recordings I've gotten are usually between 3 and 5 minutes long, but I also recorded myself reading a short story at 20 mins, and a friend talked about not knowing how to swim for 90 seconds, so any length is fine.
Right now the google drive folder containing the audio files is private. I might make it a public thing someday, but as for right now it's still a thing for my friend, to fill up the silence and brighten their day. Thank you so much to the people who've already contributed, and thanks also to all those who'll contribute in the future!
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on knowing another
(longpost i’m so sorry guys it came to me in the shower)
There’s a vague undercurrent of a theme in the Penumbra Podcast about knowing another person. It’s subtle, but it pops up every so often. It’s shown in the way we get to know the characters, especially as we get an insight into their minds in season 3, but it’s also shown in their relationships with each other, and that’s what I want to explore a little bit more.
Peter Nureyev, as we get to know him.
In season 1, Nureyev waltzes into Juno’s life
"JUNO: out of nowhere on a beam of goddamn starlight"
in Juno’s own words, and we all see him as some incredible, untouchable, unbelievably sexy master thief who’s interested in Juno for some unknowable reason (maybe that’s the Juno kinnie speaking idk). We think he’s cool, we think he’s funny, we think he’s dangerous and we think we love him but really, we’re just interested in him. We don’t actually know him yet.
And then, we have Angel of Brahma. We see his past, from his own perspective. And that’s not how knowing another is supposed to happen, you’re not supposed to be thrust into it headfirst, but that’s what we get with Nureyev, and so one second we don’t know him, and the next, we know him better than anyone else, because we’ve seen that he isn’t perfect. Not because he was wrong to kill Mag, that’s a whole different debate, but because he was put in a difficult situation in which there was no right choice. It is impossible for any person to be perfect, and so it was impossible for us and for Juno to truly know Nureyev until we knew what made him flawed.
Diamond Hijikata
Let’s travel back in time a bit, to when Juno was with Diamond. We see Diamond Hijikata from Juno’s point of view, we know her the way Juno knew her, and it is impossible for us to know her any other way, because we only ever see her through Juno’s eyes. Juno thought Diamond was flawless. I might be projecting a little here, because I thought Diamond was flawless. Every time I listen to Embrace of Ice, I fall in love with the version of Diamond Hijikata in Juno’s head. Sometimes, she says things that don’t quite fit with that version, and I brush it off, because Diamond Hijikata is impeccable, perfect, and so even if she sounds a little condescending at times, even if she sounds like she sees Juno as a toy to play with, as a way to piss of her mother, I don’t believe it. I choose to trust her instead. Because I think I know her.
And then, we get the scene in the third part of Embrace of Ice.
“JUNO: I thought I knew who you were. DIAMOND: You do, doll. Nothing's changed. You've just... learned more.”
But everything’s changed. Diamond isn’t who I thought she was, who Juno thought she was. Her name was Diamond Hijikata, sure. She went to college. She had friends, mostly troublemakers. She liked protests, and standing up for things, and pissing off her mother. She didn’t like flaunting how privileged she was. And that paints a certain picture, doesn’t it? Of a girl who stands up for what she believes in, who uses her own privilege to help those who don’t have any, who refuses to let corrupt authority keep her down; and it’s hard not to fall in love with someone like that. But that’s not who Diamond Hijikata was.
Diamond Hijikata was bored and rebellious. Captain H says so, at the very start of Embrace of Ice.
“HIJIKATA: Doesn't believe a word of what she says when she gets like that. JUNO: I don't think so. When she gets on a tear, she's so…”
Juno doesn’t agree with her. Juno thinks Diamond thinks like he does, that she believes in what she fights for. But when those fights threaten her own life, her own privilege, she backs down, and we are struck with the ugly truth that Diamond doesn’t believe in what she fights for. She doesn’t actually want to help those who are disadvantaged. I’m not even sure she sees Juno as an equal. And the sad fact is, I don’t know who Diamond is anymore. Neither does Juno. And I don’t even know who to be mad at anymore. Diamond hasn’t broken my heart, because the Diamond I was in love with never existed anywhere except in my head. If I had to bet, I’d say Juno feels the same way. And so he doesn’t love Diamond anymore, he never did, but he doesn’t hate her either, because:
“JUNO: The older I get, the harder it is to blame someone for being the most honest version of themselves, no matter how ugly the truth is. I'll take it over a pretty lie every time.”
The thing is, Diamond isn’t a bad person. And you can hear that in her little monologue in Embrace of Ice part 3.
“DIAMOND: Because I’m not a bad person. I'm not.”
She’s right, in a sense. She didn’t really do anything wrong. She wasn’t in on her mother’s plans, she wasn’t trying to thwart Juno at every turn. All she knew was where the ballroom was. She even has a cute little story to go with it. It’s so human, so understandable. But it’s human in a way none of us expected of Diamond Hijikata, because she is not the version of her we have in our heads. If we really knew her, we wouldn’t have been surprised at her actions. So Diamond didn’t betray us, not really. She didn’t intentionally decieve Juno or intend to cause him harm. She just wasn’t who Juno thought she was. And that’s why her actions seems so surprising, why it feels like a betrayal: because we don’t know her. That’s why the thought of her hurts so much: because how are you supposed to mourn losing the person you loved if they never even existed in the first place?
(god, fuck, this whole essay began because I couldn’t stop thinking about Diamond Hijikata, she hurts me so much I can’t even decide how to feel about her. send help.)
Peter Nureyev again
We see inside Nureyev’s mind in season 3, and everyone jokes about how much of a mess he is, but the fact is we love him anyway. And we don’t love him despite it, we love him because of it, because loving another is knowing another and seeing their flaws and saying “I understand”. This ties into what Juno says to Vespa before the wedding:
“JUNO: …everyone thinks they know you, right? They make up a version of you in their heads, and if you don’t play the part right they start asking questions. Sometimes with words. VESPA: Sometimes with a look. I know. JUNO: Yeah. “What’s wrong,” “are you okay,” “you seem angry”... all that. But... I don’t know. One day I wasn’t playing the role the best and I could tell he just didn’t mind. Or... he’d already stretched the role out until it actually fit me. And I realized I’d already done the same thing for him.”
Juno knows Nureyev now. So far, he’s seen Nureyev switch between personas, seen Nureyev when he isn’t playing anyone, been inside his head, lived with him for a year and talked with him extensively about their relationship (I don’t remember any quotes for this one, but I’m pretty sure they mention it in season 3 at some point. Might be Shadows on the Ship?). He knows Nureyev, well enough that the version in his head fits Nureyev perfectly, and so Juno can be certain that the man he loves really is Peter Nureyev, and not a version of him, because he knows Peter Nureyev.
Slip Jackson
Little shift in perspective now, let’s stop focusing on Juno for a second. Slip Jackson, Nureyev’s ex, the guy who’s been driving the plot of the story for the past year or so despite being in a coma. He’s Nureyev’s first love, and he and Nureyev spend a lot of time toying with the idea of knowing each other. They knew each other when they were kids, about 10 years old, and they meet again 6 or 7 years later by chance. A lot has changed in that time — it might not seem like a lot to an adult, but kids develop rapidly, and don’t stop until about 25, so  they’ve both really changed since they saw each other last, and they’ll continue to change. They’re young, and still learning who they are (god, it feels so weird to write that when I’m not much older, but anyways).
And so when Nureyev learns that Slip still does drugs, he’s a little horrified, because he doesn’t understand how Slip could be willing to take that risk. Slip clearly hasn’t developed or matured in the way Nureyev thought he would, and the two of them realise that they don’t really know each other all that well. Slip asks if he’d like to try drugs, and Nureyev refuses, and that’s that for a while. But then they live together for a while, and Slip offers Nureyev a way off Brahma, and he tells him about his dream, about the drug he wants to make. And Nureyev, who’s just figured out that he has the biggest crush on this man, decides he wants to know him a little better.
“NUREYEV: I... would like to try one, I think. Is your offer still open? SLIP: I don't... that's really nice of you, but I don't want you to think you have to try it just to, um, make me feel better, so-- NUREYEV: It isn't to make you feel better. It's to know you, Slip. And I think I'm finding I'd like to know you quite well.”
(Alexa, what’s the most romantic way to tell your boyfriend you want to do drugs with him?)
Then they run away to Saraswati together, and Slip goes on all these secret outings which Nureyev can’t follow him on for a while. Nureyev is forced to trust Slip, to place his life in his hands, but they’re still getting to know each other, and unlike with Juno and Diamond, Nureyev is aware that the version of Slip in his head might not match up with the real Slip. So, he gets paranoid, and the entire mess with the poker game and the executives happens.
But after it, they have a talk. A good one. This is one of the things I love about Slip: he makes Nureyev talk about his feelings, and he’s really good at putting things into perspective. You see it in the latest episode, too, with how they talk about Mag. It’s not perfect, but it seems incredibly mature for someone his age (though, again, not sure how much authority I have on the age aspect of this).
“SLIP: A person can't just tell you who they are cuz we're all too complicated for that. I wouldn't know where to start, and even if I tried, I'd miss most of everything and maybe you'd think I was hiding those things from you, but it wouldn't be true. Too much of me is invisible to me because I'm around it all the time, every day. You can try to see the world from someone else's point of view, but at the end of the day... we're all just ourselves. We're stuck there. But just because I can't say it doesn't mean you can't know it. All I can do is be honest, minute to minute, day by day. I'm sorry I'm not the person you apparently thought I was -- but to be fair, I never said I was that person to begin with. Only you did. So... how about we make each other a promise? NUREYEV: A promise? Promise what? SLIP: A promise to be honest with each other. If we're honest, each of us can give the other the best shot at knowing us, you know? You can decide who Slip Jackson is, and... well. If he's worth your time.”
THIS. This is basically the point of this whole essay (it’s so much longer than I intended I’m so sorry). I start chewing on my own bone marrow every time I listen to this, because he’s so right.
Knowing someone isn’t knowing big things, like their name, or face, or random fun facts about their life. Those are things you pick up along the way. Knowing someone else isn’t knowing what their favourite colour is, it’s them telling you what their favourite colour is and you realising that it makes sense they would like that colour, that it fits in with the image of them in your head. Knowing someone isn’t knowing all their layers, their past, their future, though all those things are important in their own way. Knowing someone is understanding the essence of them, the soul underneath all those layers, the sense of self, of who they are which philosophers have been trying to define for centuries, which Peter Nureyev has been trying to erase from himself for decades.
Slip and Nureyev loved each other because they loved everything they knew about each other, and wanted to know more. Slip’s loss hits Nureyev like a bulldozer because he never really gets to know who Slip is — the chance is taken away from him, and Nureyev is convinced it’s all his fault. He’s determined to bring Slip back so he can finally know who Slip is, even though he’s trying to erase himself so there’s nothing left of himself to love back.
Peter Nureyev forever
And then, season 5. Yowzers.
“NUREYEV: You think you know me. The nameless thief. You presume, just because I've told you my real name and let you peruse a few carefully-curated passages of my life story, that you have access to a "real" me that nobody else does. Is that right? JUNO: This isn't gonna work, Nureyev. That journal was true. I know it was. NUREYEV: (LAUGHS) How could you possibly? JUNO: Because I know you. NUREYEV: You know what I've shown you. Nothing more. JUNO: Can't help but notice you haven't said it yet. NUREYEV: I don't need to play your game. JUNO: If you don't care it'd be really easy to.  "I never want to see you again." Like that. NUREYEV: Childish! JUNO: Once you let somebody know you, Nureyev, there's no going back. They've got your number. Chances are you got theirs, too. I let you know who I am because I love you and I'm scared as hell about what that means, but at least I can admit it, goddammit!”
Nureyev is desperately pushing the idea that Juno doesn’t know him, that Nureyev’s been lying all along, that the “Peter Nureyev” Juno knew was just another persona, that Juno never really knew the real Nureyev, just like he never knew the real Diamond. Because if Juno doesn’t know Nureyev, he can’t possibly love him, and that makes it so much easier to break up with him.
But there’s just one catch here. Juno does know Nureyev. As much as Nureyev wants to pretend that all Juno saw was what he let him see, it’s not true. Juno saw right to the core of him, right to the beating heart of what makes Peter Nureyev Peter Nureyev, and he refused to look away until he knew every inch by heart, and he loved what he knew. He still does. And that’s how he knows that Nureyev needs his help now, that’s why he’s not giving up on our favourite master thief.
And that is why this:
“NUREYEV: I do not want to see you any more, Juno. JUNO: What? NUREYEV: You said it would just take those words to excise you from my life entirely, didn't you? Well, I've said them. I have no interest in seeing you any longer. None. I am done. We are finished. Do you understand me? JUNO: Yeah, I get you. So I guess I'll just... go now. NUREYEV: No! JUNO: I... what?  NUREYEV: I... that is, you…”
didn’t surprise me. Well, the first bit did. But the turnaround made complete sense. Don’t get me wrong, it’s really shitty of Nureyev to do, but he’s at a point in his life where he’s not sure he can handle Juno being in his life, but he loves him far too much to tell him to leave. Even after he breaks up with him, he immediately backtracks.
And that’s why Juno keeps implying throughout the episode that Nureyev might take him back, and why he doesn’t leave at the end despite promising he would. Because he and I both know that Nureyev doesn’t want him to.
Juno never really hides who he is, and so people either love him or hate him. I think that’s really cool of him.
Nureyev hides who he is almost constantly, from almost everyone. It’s so much easier for him to pretend he did the same with Juno, and that’s what he’s trying to do. But he didn’t, so Juno isn’t giving up on him. Juno knows Nureyev, and he loves Nureyev, and so he’s not going to rest until Nureyev is finally okay (or relatively okay, at least).
TLDR: Juno didn't know Diamond all that well, so he couldn't be with her. Nureyev decided he wanted to know Slip so that he could learn to love him, but the opportunity was taken away from him. Juno comes to know Nureyev and he loves him because of it, but Nureyev is determined to go back to being unknown in season 5 so he can distance himself from Juno and pretend they're not in love. Knowing someone and loving them are linked, blah blah blah.
idk man I don’t have a conclusion these are just thoughts. Loving someone is inherently tied to knowing them, ig. Anyways who’s excited for Nureyev to have a mental breakdown???!!
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