#actually footage of my last 3 brain cells

[isolationstreet]

[rosiehunterwolf]

Face the Music

Prompts: Karaoke

Word Count: 5,572

Characters: Cole, Kai, and Jay

Timeline: Between seasons 9 and 10

Trigger Warnings: Brief Mentions of Toxic Parent and Eating Disorder

Summary: If you ask Cole, there are some things in life better left forgotten. Especially embarrassing experiences that you would prefer not to talk about. They certainly shouldn’t be used as blackmail or as entertainment for others, and everyone should just learn to move on. Although maybe his friends aren’t the only ones that need to move on. 

Link to read on Fanfiction.Net:

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13904278/1/Face-the-Music

Cole burst onto the deck of the Bounty, swinging the door shut behind him. Zane looked up from the control panel, looking startled. “Cole?”

“Zane!” Cole ran over to him, gasping for breath. “Quick, what’s Kai’s cell phone password?”

Zane pulled back, raising an eyebrow. “What?”

“Don’t play coy with me, I know you have the passwords for everything programmed into your database! Now hurry, what is it!”

“I never denied that I did, but why would I tell you? That’s confidential information.” Glancing down at the cell phone, he asked, “Does Kai know you have his phone, Cole?”

“Uh… yeah, if it helps you sleep at night.”

Zane crossed his arms. “Cole…”

“Come on, Zane, help a friend out! It’s important!” “Cole, that is not my secret to tell. Unless it is an emergency, you don’t need to know.”

“But it is an emergency!”

“Oh really? Who’s in danger?”

“My pride,” he snapped. “C’mon, Zane, please, what do you want? I’ll do your dishes for a month! Or- or, uh, take patrol duties for the next three weeks. Hey, hey, what about cooking, you like that, right? I’ll buy you some new appliances!”

“Cole, you cannot bribe me-”

“Hey guuuuys,” Kai larked, popping his head through the door and sliding over to Cole. Before he could even react, the master of fire was plucking the phone out of his hands. “I’ll take that, thanks.”

“Give it back!”

“It’s my phone!”

“I didn’t give you permission to take that video!”

Kai batted his eyes innocently. “What video?”

Cole lunged for him. “I will kill you, spike head-”

“Gotta catch me first,” Kai shrilled, neatly ducking his arm and dashing back belowdeck, laughing maniacally.

“Thanks a lot, Zane. Who knows what he’ll do with that now?”

“I don’t understand. What is going on?”

Cole sighed slowly. “He’s got… a video. I need it to be deleted.”

“What kind of video?”

“Seriously Zane? Can’t you take a hint? I obviously don’t want to tell you.”

Zane just stared at him expectantly.

Cole rubbed his face in his hands. I can’t believe I’m doing this. “He still has the video from… from Laughy’s. With the Sons of Garmadon.”

Zane is smiling now, crossing his arms. “I don’t know why you are embarrassed to tell me, Cole. I was there, remember? I saw you sing-”

“Okay, okay, Zane, I get it! Just stop talking about it!”

“I don’t see why talking about it would be an issue-”

Cole lunged forward, pressing a hand over his mouth. “You don’t understand,” he hissed under his breath. “They’re everywhere. They’re obsessed with that video, and they’ve been dangling it over my head ever since we returned from the First Realm. They’re trying to blackmail me!”

“They?”

“Oh yeah, it’s not just Kai- Jay’s in on it too, the jerk. You think you know who your best friend is.”

“Cole, I think you’re overreacting, what could they possibly do with it? Everyone here already saw you sing, it’s fine.”

“You really think Lloyd, Nya and Pix have spared a second thought to think about me after everything they had going on here? I was hoping they had forgotten about it by now, but if Jay and Kai have their way-”

“I’m not going to help you steal Kai’s phone, Cole. If you need me for anything actually important, let me know.”

“This is important,” Cole yelled after him, but Zane was already gone.

Fine, he huffed. If no one is going to help me, I’ll do it myself.

---

“Hey Cole? Kai and Lloyd want me to play Fist-to-Face 3 with them, will you take patrol duty for me tonight?”

“Yeah?” Cole reclined in the kitchen chair, stretching his arms behind his head. “And why would I do that?”

“Oh, I dunno… perhaps because you wouldn’t want a certain… video to accidentally leak…” Jay waggled his phone teasingly in the air.

Cole stood up sharply. “You wouldn’t.”

“I dunno… would I? I guess we’ll find out.”

“Fine, fine, I’m going, I’m going,” Cole grumbled. “Want anything while I’m out?” “We’re almost out of Doritos. And can you get the strawberry Fanta?”

“Are you a heathen? Who drinks the strawberry?”

“It’s not for you,” Jay snapped. “And for your information, it tastes very nice.”

“Whatever. You at least gonna pay me for this, bozo?”

Jay slapped a twenty into his hand. “This is all I got on me. Buy yourself a little somethin’ with the change.”

Cole mock bowed. “Whatever you say, master.”

“Ah, come on, I’m not cruel, come join us when you get back.” As Cole walked out the door, he called after him, “I’ll save you some Bagel Bites!”

Cole rolled his eyes. He didn’t know how he got into situations like this.

He was really starting to hate that stupid video.

---

By the end of the week, which had been filled with similar scenarios, Cole had had it. I’m not going to take this slander anymore! They can’t just push me around like this, I’m the master of earth!

The monastery was buzzing with the chatter of his friends on the hot afternoon. They were all wearing swimsuits, and Lloyd opened the door, leaning out lazily as a wave of hot air wafted into the cool monastery.

“Stop standing there with the door open, nitwit, you’re letting all the hot air in,” Kai snapped, shoving him out the door, nearly sending him to the floor, before Zane caught him by the wrist with his usual lightning reflexes.

“Kai, there is no need to get physical.”

“Can it, Zane, I’m just playing around, right bud?” Kai slung his arm around Lloyd’s shoulder, ruffling his hair.

Lloyd shot him a glare. “Get off of me, you lump, I’m melting here. Are we going swimming or not?”

“Ouch, looks like someone skipped his coffee today. What’s wrong, baby boy, did I hurt your feewings?”

“You wanna get punched? ‘Cause I will not hesitate to punch you.”

“You wanna throw hands with me, bro? I’d prefer not to have a squished pancake as a brother, but if you say so.”

“As soon as I cool down a bit, you are toast.”

“You cool it, mister. Are you forgetting everything amazing I’ve ever done for you?”

“Don’t mind him,” Nya called to Kai, coming over to elbow Lloyd from the other side. “He gets grumpy when he’s hot.”

“I hate you both.”

Zane sighed. “I swear, it’s like the heat is melting their brains.”

Nya shrugged. “They must have like, low heat tolerance or something. Don’t ask me why they always get so loopy like this.”

“Hey, it’s like 100 degrees, don’t blame me if I’m a little uncomfortable!” Lloyd snapped, his words slurring slightly.

“Yeah, bud, even I think you’re starting to get to be a little much now. Come on, let’s get you in the water.”

As the team shuffled out the door, Jay turned back to face him. “Hey, Cole, aren’t you coming swimming with us?”

“Yeah, I’ll be out in a minute, just give me a sec.”

Jay shrugged, and Cole waited for a moment, until he heard the door click.

Finally! I thought they’d never leave.

Hurrying down the hallway, he popped his head into the bathroom, where Kai and Jay had just thrown their clothes into a pile on the floor when they had changed. Getting on his knees, he dug through it and pulled out Jay’s shorts, extracting his cell from it. Pulling a slip of paper out from his pocket, he quickly typed the numbers in, and…

The phone unlocked.

Cole broke into a grin, praising Jay’s inability to remember passwords and always writing them down somewhere where a very desperate earth ninja could find them.

He opened the camera app and deleted the video.

There. Halfway done.

Kai’s phone wasn’t in his pocket, so he snuck over to his room and found it charging on the nightstand. Biting his lip, he pulled out his phone and glanced at the camera footage he had captured the previous night.

It showed a bird’s eye view of the living room, and Kai was sitting on the couch, watching TV. As he reached for his phone, Cole zoomed in on the device and watched carefully as he typed in the code.

Okay. Cole repeated the same code on Kai’s phone.

Incorrect Passcode.

Cole felt panic flare inside him. What were the chances that Kai had changed his password in the one night since he’d filmed this?

“It didn’t work because I have one of those fingerprint ones, too.”

Cole whips around to see Kai standing in the doorway, Jay hovering behind him. “Jay told me you were lingering, and I just got a feeling, y’know? That you were up to something.”

Cole huffed, tossing him the phone. “Why won’t you just delete it, Kai? This has gone on for long enough.”

“I like the video, Cole. It puts a smile on my face on the… hard days.”

“Oh, spare me the pity card. I know plenty well that you have more than enough other ways to keep yourself entertained.”

“What about Jay?” Kai grabbed the lightning ninja by the shoulders, shaking him gently. “Think of your friend, Cole. He has no sense of entertainment, he needs something to keep him going.”

“Excuse me-”

“Oh please,” Cole snorted. “Stick Jay on Youtube and he’ll be entertained for hours. He gets distracted way too easily.”

“Oh come on, Cole, this is way better than Jay’s stupid cat videos-”

“I do not watch cat videos!”

“Don’t lie to me, zaptrap, you’re lame.”

“Dude, who’s side are you on?”

“Look guys, I don’t have time for this. Just delete the video, and we can be done with this whole thing.”

“No, that’s not how this is going to work. You’re going to go outside with the others, and forget this whole thing ever happened. Otherwise, this little video might end up on the internet.”

“What?” Cole shrieked. “You can’t do that, dude, it’s an invasion of my privacy!”

“Last time I checked, this was a video of Rocky Dangerbuff, not you. Is it you in this video, Cole?”

Cole felt his face heat as he scowled at them, and Kai and Jay burst into laughter.

Kai slapped a hand on his back. “If it makes you feel any better, it wouldn’t have worked anyway. You really think we’re dumb enough to keep the only copies of the video on our phones? You’d be searching for hours to delete all traces of it.”

Cole balked at him. “Seriously? How many copies did you make?”

Jay grinned. “You forgot this wasn’t a solo operation, dirtclod. I’m the tech guy around here. There’s no way you’ll be able to override my programming.”

Cole groaned, putting his face in his hands. “I hate you guys.”

“Hey, that’s what friends are for, right?” Kai laughed. “C’mon, dude, it’s hot, let’s go swim.” Cole reluctantly followed them out the door, grumbling.

“This won’t go on forever, you guys. Sooner or later, I’m gonna find a way to stop you.”

Kai laughed. “We’ll see about that, Cole, we’ll see.”

---

“Are you sure this is really something I wanna be getting involved in?” The nindroid asked, her glowing green eyes scanning the monitor screen.

“It’ll be fine, Pix, I promise. They might be a little annoyed at first, but within a couple days, they’ll have completely moved on to something else to make fun of. All you have to do is get rid of one measly video for me.”

“Well, I wouldn’t call it that, exactly. Jay went pretty deep with this program. But I think I’ve located the source material.”

“And?” Cole asked, placing his hands on the table and leaning forward. “Does that mean you can delete all the data?”

“Yes. Every known record of it developed into the Bounty’s database will be erased.”

“Do it, quick!”

Pixal turned to the computer again, and Cole held his breath as her fingers flew over the keys for a moment. Then, she pulled back.

“Is it done? Did you do it?”

“Yes. It’s gone.”

“Oh, thank goodness,” Cole sighed, slouching against the wall. “I’m so glad that’s finally over. Pix, you’re a lifesaver.”

A small smile played on her lips. “I do what I can.”

“Well, you’ve just saved me a lot of trouble. I owe ya one.”

“We’ll see. Anyways, if we’re done here, I’m going to go help Zane work on those hull repairs to the Bounty.”

“Thanks, Pix.”

When he walked down to the kitchen for dinner that night, for the first time in weeks he didn’t feel a constant dread hanging over his head.

---

The relief didn’t last long.

It was only the evening of the next day when Kai came marching into his room, Jay on his heels. Cole glanced over at them nonchalantly from where he was laying across his bed, reading a Starfarer comic. “Can I help you?”

“You know what you did, stop acting so innocent.”

Cole grinned, stretching. “What can I say, bro, I outplayed you.”

“You could never,” Jay snorted. “You had help!”

“Hey, two against one was never a fair game. Let’s just say I was evening the odds a little bit.”

“Who helped you?” Kai hissed, pointing at him. “Spill, now!” “Sorry fellas, but I’ve sworn to secrecy. You’ll have to find your information elsewhere.”

“It has to be either Nya, Pixal, or Zane,” Jay insisted. “Nya’s the only one with the advanced enough technical skills to be able to override me, and Zane and Pixal are attached to the system, so they can get pretty much anything they want with enough computer skills.”

Kai rolled his eyes. “Great job, sparky, now we've eliminated it down to three out of the four possible suspects. What amazing deduction skills.”

“Hey, I don’t see you doing any better! And it’s actually three out of five. We know it’s not Master Wu, either.”

Both Kai and Cole raised an eyebrow at that.

“Jay, you’re joking. Master Wu. Helped Cole. Delete a blackmail video?”

Cole snorted. “Zaptrap, if Wu ever found out about what was going on, he’d give us a stern lecture, make us meditate for a few hours, then, probably like, stick us on patrol duty for the rest of the night or something.”

“Shut up! Look, it doesn’t matter, alright? If you just tell us who it is, we’ll leave you alone.”

“Fat chance.” Cole got up out of bed and strolled past them, towards the door. “You don’t have anything against me anymore. That blackmail’s not gonna work anymore.”

“Who told you that?”

Cole stopped, turning towards Kai slowly. “What?”

“Who told you we didn’t have access to the video anymore?”

Cole gaped, glancing back and forth between Kai and Jay. “What!? That’s impossible, she-” he bit his lip sharply, cursing himself. “I mean… we deleted all copies of the video. How could you still have it?”

“Aha!” Jay gasped, pointing at him. “Did you hear that? He said she! Which means we’ve narrowed it down to Pixal or Nya!”

Cole ignored him, narrowing his eyes at Kai. “You’re bluffing. You don’t have the video.”

“Oh yeah? Jay, you still have it?”

The blue ninja stuck a hand into his pocket, and, pulling it out, flashed a small blue object between his fingers. Cole looked closer, and felt his stomach drop as he recognized what it was- a flash drive.

“Yep, it’s all in here! Even the most advanced computer codes will do nothing to reach our backup. Looks like you’ve run out of luck again, Cole.”

“Are you kidding me? This is impossible!”

“Come on, Cole- all we want to do is have a little fun with it. Let us keep the video, and we’ll leave you alone.”

“And if I try to get rid of it again?”

“Oh, I dunno, maybe it could find its way… onto social media.”

Cole nearly choked. “Kai! You wouldn’t!”

“Keep your nose out of it, and I won’t! C’mon, Jay, we’re done here.”

Cole flopped back down onto his bed. Social media. Kai couldn’t put the video on the internet. It would be all over the city by morning.

He had said he wouldn’t do it if Cole stopped trying to get rid of the video, but Cole didn’t trust that one bit. Now that the idea was planted in his head, Cole was afraid he could do it at any time.

There was no question about it. He had to destroy that flash drive.

---

Kai and Jay were out on the last evening patrol.

This was the time.

Glancing down the hallway to make sure no one was there, he eased open the door to Kai’s room and slipped inside.

He was fairly certain they would’ve kept the flash drive in Kai’s room, specifically to throw him off after he had seen Jay holding it earlier. Also, Kai’s room, while still a mess, wasn’t as bad as Jay’s, so Cole much preferred to search his, anyways.

But it was still going to be more difficult than he had hoped, he realized with a groan as he glanced around the room.

Kai’s bed had a small stack of comic books and magazines strewn across it, with more on the nightstand and even a few on the floor. His laundry had been mostly shoved into a corner, but a few lone shirts and socks had been left randomly. Most of his stuff appeared to be in bins that had been stuffed under the bed and in the corners, but there appeared to be no order to what was in them, just a hag-tag of random junk, save for one crate in the corner which was full to the brim with various weapons, leaving several of them spilling out just asking for a sliced toe in the morning.

The worst was the dresser, though- there were several hair products lined up, even though Cole knew he already had more than enough in the bathroom, a handful of letters, only a couple of them opened, some more comics, a couple empty cups, and enough earrings and other jewelry to last him a lifetime. Cole never understood why he needed so many. Sure, Kai had a ton of piercings, more than the rest of them combined, but Cole swore he had never seen him even wear half of these. Kai had almost as much jewelry, (or, as he liked to call it, “bling”) as he did hair products, which was really saying something.

Sighing, Cole walked over to search through one of the bins that looked like it may have had the techy stuff in it- or at least, the somewhat mechanical stuff- maybe- or, actually, not really, he had absolutely no idea what kind of system Kai had going on here.

Reaching in, he pulled out a tablet, a flashlight, a spare video game controller, a baseball cap, a worn stuffed dragon, a barrette that he was pretty sure belonged to Skylor- Cole blushed at that one, shoving the box away. These things were Kai’s. There could likely be things in here he didn’t want Cole to see.

He wasn’t trying to snoop, though- all he wanted to do was find the flash drive, and leave.

Turning away, Cole began to sift through another bin. A sword- small and uneven, but fairly solid- this one wrapped away with much more care than the others- had a label scribbled on that read “Kai’s first sword.” A photograph, ripped down the middle, the remaining side with a very young Kai hugging an even younger Nya, and a ripped shawl stained with blood that had never come out-

Cole jumped back. Okay, so maybe there was some sort of order to these boxes. And that one was none of his business. He wasn’t sure he even wanted to look any further, anyway. He didn’t doubt that Kai and Nya had been reserved about their lives before meeting them for a reason.

Cole was beginning to feel guilt weight down on his chest already, cold and heavy. He shouldn’t have seen that. He shouldn’t have seen any of this. He was blatantly disrespecting one of his closest friend’s privacy just to delete some stupid video he was embarrassed about.

I should go.

As he sped towards the door, he tripped over something and fell to the ground with a thump. Turning back, he saw it was a book that he had set aside while pulling things out of the bin, having spilled open after he tripped on it, allowing him to see that it wasn’t a book at all, but a photo album.

It was open to a page where Cole had his arm slung around a very grumpy-looking Kai, ruffling his hair, with Jay and Lloyd bent over laughing in the background. It was followed by a bunch of pictures of Kai with the worst bed hair Cole had ever seen- desperately reaching towards the camera, presumably to strangle whoever was snapping photos. Occasionally, one of the other ninja would pop in, holding him back for the photographer, or posing goofily next to the groggy fire ninja.

Cole felt a grin spread over his face. He remembered that day, when Kai had stayed up so late playing video games that he had forgotten about his hair in the morning- and the whole team had been more than eager to take advantage of the one time the fire ninja wasn’t looking so attractive. Kai had threatened to murder them in their sleep, but he had been laughing through it all, too.

That’s the same thing happening here, Cole realized. I’m being a baby about this. They’re just playing around with me. Like I haven’t done the same to them a thousand times.

Cole neatly closed the book and slid it back into a bin, leaving the room with his heart feeling significantly lighter.

It hadn’t been a moment too soon, either, as when he was walking down the hallway, he passed Kai and Jay returning from patrol.

“Everything okay, Cole?” “I’m fine,” he said quickly, too quickly. Luckily, Jay didn’t seem to notice. Kai raised his eyebrow slightly but didn’t press the issue. “Whatcha’ up to?”

“Just heading to bed.”

“Sweet dreams, little glow worm.”

Jay burst into snickers, and Kai grinned wickedly. Cole put his face in his hands, and brushed past them. Okay, so maybe he wasn’t quite as over this as he thought.

---

The next morning, he was awoken by a knock on his bedroom door. Pulling on a tank top, he opened the door to find Zane standing there.

“What’s up?”

The nindroid had an apologetic look on his face, holding up his cell phone. “Have you checked social media yet?”

“No, why?”

“Kai posted your karaoke video.”

“He what?!” Cole shrieked, ripping the phone out of his hand. There, right under Kai’s grinning profile picture, was the video of him singing at Laughy’s.

“That dumbass,” Cole cried, flopping back onto his bed. “Do you know how bad this is? And it’s not just any old social media account, it’s Kai’s. The guy has like, seven million followers on Ninjagram, and almost as many on Chirp and ChatSnap. This will ruin me.”

“I’m sorry, Cole. I didn’t think he would do this.”

“I didn’t either. He promised he wouldn’t, as long as I didn’t try to delete the data!”

“...Didn’t you, though?”

Cole glowered at him. “Well, maybe, technically, I did, but he didn’t catch me! How would he know?”

“Cole, what kind of ninja headquarters would this be if we didn’t have security cameras?”

“Shit! Why would he be checking that? Oh, I’m never going to forgive him for this.”

“Cole, forgive me, but I think you’re overreacting a little. Sure, it’ll probably get a few laughs, but in a couple hours, everyone will have moved onto the next thing. You’ll be fine.”

“You don’t know that! I’m not just like some random cat video, I’m a famous ninja! Pretty much everyone knows about me, they’re going to linger on this for a while, trust me.”

“Cole,” Zane said patiently, amusement sparkling in his voice. “I think you’ll survive. Come have some breakfast, that always makes you feel a little better.”

Cole opened his mouth to argue, but Zane was already walking out of the room, so Cole reluctantly followed.

Cole sat down at the table, glaring down into his lap, as Zane slipped him a plate of waffles. He couldn’t even make it all the way through his meal before Kai and Jay inevitably showed up.

“Hey Cole,” Kai smiled, “wonderful morning, isn’t it?”

“You shut your dumb mouth,” Cole snapped. “I don’t even want to look at you.”

“Woah, someone’s feisty.”

“I saw what you did! I can’t believe you did that.”

“I can’t believe you went through my stuff,” Kai barked back, and, despite himself, Cole felt himself flinch. “I was just upholding my side of the agreement.”

“Hey, Cole,” Jay interjected. “Look on the bright side. You’re practically famous! The video already has five million views!”

“I’m already famous, you moron, which, in this situation, makes it even worse.”

Jay blinked, obviously not expecting the hostility of his response. “Cole, chill, it’s just a-”

“Hey guys!” Cole looked up to see Lloyd, Nya, and Pixal walking in. Lloyd grinned as he caught sight of Cole’s plate. “Aww, Zane, you made waffles? Did you buy-”

“Yes, Lloyd, there is plenty of whip cream.”

“I’m just checking! It wouldn’t be the first time I was a few minutes late and some hogs ate all the whip cream.” He shot a glare at Jay, who shrugged nonchalantly.

“Ya snooze, ya lose, green machine. It’s not my fault you have no sense of timing.”

“I have plenty of sense of timing! I’m just…”

“Easily distracted,” Nya chimed in.

“Am not! You were just as distracted as I was!” “You’re the one who showed it to me just as we were trying to go to breakfast!” “Well, you didn’t have to watch it, you could’ve just walked away!”

“How could I not? That one’s a keeper-”

“What are you two on about?” Kai laughed.

“There’s this video blowing up on the internet-” Pixal began.

“You have got to be kidding me,” Cole groaned. He glared at Kai. “Now look what you’ve done. You’ve gotten them-” he pointed an accusatory finger at Lloyd and Nya- “laughing at it too.”

“More like them and the rest of Ninjago-”

“Seriously? I can’t with you,” Cole fumed, then promptly spun around and stormed off to his bedroom, locking the door. He flopped onto his bed face first and yelled into his pillow.

He had wanted to laugh this whole thing off. He really had. But how was he expected to be chill when it was all over the internet?

Part of him was just angry with himself, though. Why did he let this rile him up so much? Why was he so upset? Zane was right, it was just another random video, wasn’t it?

Why was it the end of the world if people saw him sing?

---

“Back straighter, Cole.”

Cole flinched at the hit before it came, and the man rolled his eyes. “How do you expect to ever perform well if you can’t even have good posture?”

“I’m trying dad, but I’m tired. We’ve been doing this for hours. Can I go have lunch now?”

“It’s not time for that yet, Cole. First, we need to work on this piece more. Now, start again, from measure twenty-one.

He shuffled through the pages of music, and as he began to sing, all he could imagine was that stern face peering down at him, and all of a sudden his voice was coming out wobbly.

“Tone shape, Cole! You need to keep a consistent tone. Don’t let it sound wavery and messy.”

Cole’s stomach growled loudly, and he flinched at the look on his father’s face. “Please, dad, I’ll be able to concentrate more if I’ve eaten.”

“Fifteen minutes,” his father snapped. “Then right back to work.”

Cole remembered running to the kitchen, worried there wouldn’t be enough time, and eating as much food as he could manage. But it had been too much, his father would be angry with him, what was he going to do-

He had thrown most of it up in the bathroom later that night.

“Cole, you need to try harder. Singing and dancing of just “average” quality aren’t going to cut it when you become part of the next generation of the Royal Blacksmiths.”

“But dad, I don’t want to be a Royal Blacksmith. I don’t even like to sing.”

“Nonsense! This is a family legacy, boy! Do you wish to break such noble tradition just because you weren’t willing to work hard enough?”

“...No, dad.”

“That’s what I thought. Now, back to work.”

---

A knock. “Hey, Cole, can I come in?”

Cole pulled his face out of the pillow, frantic to find it wet. He quickly wiped at his eyes before getting to his feet and trodding to the door, unlocking it and opening it slowly. Kai stood there.

Great.

“What do you want?”

To his surprise, the red ninja flinched. “Can we talk?”

Cole turned and laid across his bed. “What’s there to talk about?”

Kai took a seat on the edge of the bed, keeping his distance from Cole. “Are you… are you actually angry about this? Like, for real? I thought we were joking around.”

Cole didn’t answer, merely grunting into his pillow.

Kai hesitantly scooted a little closer. “I’m sorry. I would’ve stopped if I knew it was making you so uncomfortable. I really wish you had said something about it.”

Cole shrugged. “Well, I didn’t.”

“I’ll take it down, if you want.”

“What?”

“Like, I know it’s too late now,” he said hurriedly, “and that a bunch of people have already seen it, that I’m not fixing my mistake by doing this, but- I can take the video offline now, so at least no one else sees it.”

Cole was about to thank him, when a sudden urge flowed over him. “Y’know what,” he said, sitting up, “No.”

“Huh?” “Don’t bother,” Cole told him. “It’s no big deal. It’s just some stupid video.”

“I thought you were upset.”

“I was. And still am, a little, if I’m being honest. But I’m tired of spending so much time worrying about what others think of me. It’s exhausting, and no fun. It’s time I started thinking about how I view myself.”

“Are you sure? Because I know you hate singing-”

“I don’t, though. I used to like it.”

“What happened?”

Cole shrugged halfheartedly. “Let’s just say… my dad didn’t make the right decisions. Pushed me too hard to be something I wasn’t. Kind of hard to enjoy singing with him barking over my shoulder about it every spare second. Basically sucked all the joy out of it.”

Kai swung his feet back and forth. “That sounds rough. I wonder if my dad would’ve been anything like that, if he… if he’d stayed.”

“You were forced, in a way, too. Forced to grow up too quickly, to raise your sister on your own.”

“Yeah, I guess I was.” He shot him a small grin, although Cole could tell it was forced. “We’re alike in that way.”

“I wish we weren't,” Cole sighed. “No one deserves to go through that.”

Kai laughed dryly. “I learned a long time ago that life’s never been fair.”

“Have you talked to your dad at all, recently?”

“...Not really. I mean, apart from letting him know we were alive and stuff… after the First Realm.”

“Maybe you should reach out to him. Before it’s too late.”

“I know, I know… but I’m not really sure if I want to. I don’t know if that makes me sound like an awful person, but… he was never there for me. They were never there. I know it wasn’t their fault, but… it still stings. Those years, before I came here, were some of the hardest of my life. And I was just a kid! How was I… how was I supposed to…”

“It’s okay,” Cole put an arm around his shoulder and pulled him close. “I’m not sure if I want to forgive my father, either.”

“I wouldn’t blame you. What kind of person treats their kid like that? Judges them so harshly? Oh gosh, why didn’t you say something, Cole, I’m really sorry about that video.”

“I told you, it’s fine. You guys aren’t my father. I know you won’t judge me for my quirks. And, if you want to laugh at me, if the people of Ninjago want to laugh at me, that’s fine. So I’m weird. So I sing stupid songs about glow worms and sing out of key and put on really, really bad disguises. You can tease me all you want, but really, you love me for it, and I’m done doubting that. That’s what true family does.”

Kai smiled sadly at him. “I’m sorry that you didn’t find that out sooner, Cole. You’re an amazing person, and you deserve a family who will treat you like one.”

Cole smiled, slinging an arm around his shoulder. “I already have one.”

[milla984]

MY LOVE HOW ARE YOU

(sorry im horrible at replying to messages i have 2 more finals left, miss you!!) <3

miss you too, varsh <3333 feel u bestie, hang in there - YOU CAN DO IT!!! i just passed an exam and i'm drained, here's an actual footage of my last 2 brain cells atm:

[marsnolias]

actual footage of my last 3 brain cells

[saint-patrice]

thank you @kureally​!💛

pretty surprised that this isn’t one i’ve done already, but the day has come and i would invite you all to join me in delving into some photos of the canadian hockey spectacle known as travis konecny!

see here for other posts like this one! i am also taking requests for ‘em :)

this photo is a good one to start with, as it provides the essential information you need to understand travis konecny as a person. apparently his brother calls him a “city slicker,” but this is him in his true form - in camo, with fishing equipment and associated fish, looking objectively pretty fucking bad. the comment is from his teammate and certified best bud nolan patrick, who we will discuss more later. additionally, his instagram account no longer exists because he is diametrically opposed to having a social media presence, and throws his phone in an ontario lake for 4 months every offseason. presumably.

in addition to all of that, he is pretty fucking good at hockey. and yes, this is the same person as above, this time looking rather nice and representing the philadelphia flyers at this year’s all star game

(via @jakeoettinger​) from when he broke his tooth and we all were collectively screaming about it in our own unique ways until he got it fixed. this was right before the asg, and i remember the visceral fear that he might not do anything about it and we’d have to watch him do all the media stuff looking like a battle-scarred little rat. his fucking face, man

here he is, doing his very best impression of a cardboard cutout of himself. if you have any brain cells to spare, please send them philly-ward. this man is in dire need.

this is teeks with aforementioned Best Bud Nolan Patrick. this is a real photo of them at a real wedding (claude giroux’s, not their own), posted on nolan patrick’s real instagram, with the real caption “what a wedding date”. there is nothing else to be said.

although he is a great hockey player, tk has a reputation on the ice mainly for never shutting up. this is one of many instances of teeks running his little rodent mouth at the opposing team, and usually what he says makes little to no sense but we love to hear it anyway. the video of this is so delightful, i’d recommend giving it a watch

hockey talent must be inherent to the genome, as teeks is the second cousin of bo horvat (captain of the vancouver canucks). they are generally pretty different people but they look like two separate pieces of trash from the same dumpster here so… who’s to know?

(via @manybumblebees​) travis’ draft report listed him at 5′10, and he has continued to be recorded as such throughout his career. however, as just about  anyone with working eyesight will tell you, this is absolute fucking horseshit. oskar lindblom, with whom he is cellying here, is 6′1 for comparison. if that looks like a 3 inch height difference to you, i don’t know what to say 

5′10 or not, he is - by his own admission - a pretty small guy, so you think he’d generally try to avoid physical altercations, or mess with people his own size. on the contrary! here he is, having the time of his life messing with 6′3, 215lb mikhail sergachev (tk listed at 175lb). fuck it, ragdoll mode engaged.

i wasn’t kidding about the brain cells - how do you lose your shoes on a plane!!!

(via @gabelandeskog​) travis is the flyers’ “hockey is for everyone” ambassador this year, and this is him with pride tape on his stick for YCP warmies, which is like, real nice

can rats swim???

(via @chirpedtooth​) another thing of note is that he is like…. too small for nhl equipment apparently?? and so he tapes his sleeves with stupid fucking orange tape to make sure they don’t get in the way of his little raccoon appendages. whatever works, man

look at this fancy little child in his pea coat facing some adverse weather conditions!!! pre-2016 travis konecny is never not funny

(via @callejarnkrok​) despite his general shenanigans and tomfoolery, travis is perhaps a nice canadian boy at heart. here he is checking on nolan, who has been sidelined with a migraine disorder this season, at the team’s picture day. the more i think about it, the more this is unbearably fucking tender, actually. going to go lie down in a dark room about it. see y’all in a bit

this is his (nice? horrid? it’s up to you) little duck tattoo on his bicep. just thought this was important to include

this footage plagues my entire fucking existence. i measure my time in Before I First Witnessed This and After I First Witnessed This. it’s the last thing i think about at night and the first thing i think about every morning. and in between times, it frequently appears in my dreams. i cannot accurately verbalise how much i hate this

(via @for-that-cotton-candy​) just gently skating up to your pal,, hip-checking your bud to let him know that you’re there because he can only see you when he’s looking down,,,, just letting him know that you’re there and you love him a whole lot,,,,,,,, that’s hockey, baby

some would describe his face as “highly expressive” or “easy to read,” but i personally think “malleable” might be more appropriate. here he is 😛✌🏻ing with teammates travis sanheim and shane gostisbehere

(via @phillymyers​) is now a good time to mention that this little untoasted piece of bread didn’t know how to blow a kiss?

mandatory puppy photo!

(via @chirpedtooth​) literally no idea what the fuck is going on here, all i know is that he is wearing a pink scrunchie on his wrist, and that it is an awful lot to deal with

and that, my friends, is a brief introduction to travis konecny! i hope you enjoyed this in one way or another, and if you are currently thinking “i don’t get why everyone likes him” - just give it 3 weeks of mild to moderate exposure to tk content. you’ll see.

[firelord-frowny]

my mom always tries to make me feel bad and say i’m ~just like my brother~ what with my messiness and apparent inability to commit to maintain tidiness for more than 7 and a half minutes just??????????

I’M DISGUSTED 

I’M MAAAAAD

Last fuckin night, music just started playing at random in my brother’s room even though he wasn’t even in there?? wasn’t even home??? at like 3:40 in the morning??? So I asked my mom (who was still awake because my whole fam is nocturnal apparently???) if she would go turn it off, bc I didn’t wanna go in his room bc  like... idk, that’s weird! she has more of a right to go in his room than i do!

but she was being a MEANIE and  kl;dafhjgkdjsdfldgssf a MEAN LADY and wouldn’t do it!!UJGJH:GFMHFG 

so i was gonna go do it myself and

yall

literally

there is NO FLOOR. in that room. you CANNOT. SEE. THE. FLOOR. 

and the bed??? you can hardly see that, either!

LITERALLYYYY there’s like 2-3 feet of junk covering the entire square footage of the floor. Clothes and other junk all piled up on the bed. THE LIGHT SWITCH DOESn’T EVEN WORK??? which, im sure that has nothing to do with the messiness of the room, but BECAUSE the light switch doesn’t work, one would have to fuckin mountaineer across the pile of junk to get to the celling light to pull the lil string to turn it on that way. 

he has a ball python in a tank on the floor AND YOU CAN BARELY SEE IT. Fortunately snake-brains are most likely not sophisticated enough to give much of a fuck about whether or not they’re able to see outside of their terrarium, but still! What’s the point of having a snake if you’re just gonna pile shit on top of it so you can’t even see it!!!! 

And I’m so mad bc like...

My room is a mess, yes. 

BUT YOU CAN SEE MY FLOOR????? AND MY RATS AREN’T PILED UNDERNEATH A BUNCH OF JUNK??? AND MY BED ISN’T COVERED WITH ANYTHING BUT MY BLANKETS/PILLOWS????? 

I actually have a threshold or ~tipping point~ where my brain finally clicks on and directs me to Put Things Away, or vacuum, or do laundry or whatever. That tipping point doesn’t occur NEARLY as soon as it should, but it exists. And  beyond that, there ARE times where I legit clean my room to the point where it looks like a perfectly normal room that you’d see in a real estate listing - tidy, attractive, nicely decorated. Granted, that only happens a few times a year at best, but it DOES happen.

My room still looks and functions like a bedroom! My room is a Messy Person’s Room. 

HIS room is a straight up hoarder’s room! His room has not been clean in like 20 fucking years!!

and i’m just??? sooooo sick of my mom acting like i’m the same degree of fucked up as him!!

like omfg even my dad, who’s worse than me, isn’t as bad as him!!!

[tellywoodtrash]

immj2 13 + 14.11.20 lbs

13.11.20

i’m just gonna skim through this one, coz i don’t wanna dwell on the death and maatam and all.

hahahahahahahahaha riddhima is screaming at god for letting this happen and kabir is like “bhagwaan ko beech mein kyun laa rahi ho, mujhe bhi toh credit do!” i truly love this crazyass fucker.

riddhima continuing to scream at god about vansh jissne “KOI KABHI BURA KAAM NAHI KIYA HAI” ?!?!?!!?!?!?!? sis what the fuck???? first of all, none of us over the age of like...... 7, are truly sinless. and THIS MAN PARALYZED AND THREATENED TO KILL YOU MULTIPLE TIMES, FFS.

KABIR IS MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE, I AM KABIR

now she trying to throw herself off the cliff and for some reason i cannot understand, kabir is holding her back????? literally why, my bro????? let her die, saaari musibatein khatam. ugh, you still have some kinda residual feelings for her from your not-that-kameena days, don’t you?

asalkdjaldkjsaldkjsalkdjl riddhima ke andar OG prerna ka bhoot chadh gaya, she hitting kabir with danda the way Mother India did dhulaayi of yudi in the disco (still one of the most iconic scenes of tellywood for me, istg)

dude, idk if it’s just ego waale possesive issues or he still has feelings for her, but kabir def wants riddhima to be “his girl”. even after danda beating he’s trying to help her as she stumbles around in sadma.

anyway she sauntered off rubbing that stupid muffler of vansh’s on her face. SIS YOU GONNA BREAK OUT IF YOU RUB SUCH GANDA KAPDA ON YOUR FACE.

5 min of flashbacks of vansh. fwding.

family (dadi, chanchal, and all the rest of the riff-raff) has come back home and ghar is all dark.

weird how angre is also with them. i woulda thought he’d be on whatever tasks vansh set him on, instead of doing mandir yatras with these assholes.

mummy has decided to break news in most non-tactful way ever. wearing all white and has set up photu with haar already.

yeah, requisite screaming and crying blah blah. nahi dekhna.

i’m only here for ishani and angre’s reactions. bechaare look genuinely devastated. i mean dadi does too, but bohut hi zyaaaada overdramatic and i’m getting uncomfortable.

riddhima has returned.

to her surprise everyone already knows. zara dimaag lagao behen, how they even found out before you reached??? (ok no i understand you’re numb from trauma rn and can’t think of all this, but i hope your idiot brain thinks of it later.)

WHY THE FUCK IS DADI YELLING AT RIDDHIMA KI TERE HOTE HUE KAISE HUA YEHHHHHH, WHO THE FUCK IS SHE TO TAALOFY GIANT COSMIC DECISIONS LIKE LIFE AND DEATH????? isse apni khud ki jaan nahi sambhali jaati, let alone someone else’s.

holy shit she’s actually saying, “tu toh uski dhaal thi, uske liye tuney goli khaayi thi, iss baar kaise chook gayi????” MAN, FAMILIES OF DESI BOYS REALLY BE FUCKIN WILDDDDDDDDDDDDDD WITH THEIR EXPECTATIONS FROM BAHUS. one time she took a bullet for him wasn’t enough????? you want her to actually fucking die before something happens to him. god forgive me but i really wanna slap this dadi rn.

mummy cooking up some fucking ridiculousssssss story about gunde in the house and how vansh was chasing them and gaadi khaayi mein gir gayi and god knows whatttt

ok she’s saying siya got the call about it and she was running down the stairs while in shock and now whoopsie daisy, she’s in critical condition (probably in a coma or some shit.)

aryan looks sad at the siya news. thank god this mummy ka niyana has basic consideration for someone else other than himself and his mother.

mummy ka rona dhona drama fwding.

ishani is now yelling at angre. which..... kinda deserved. you’re his safety person dude.

ok too much crying. fwding.

riddhima asking mummy why you lie to family about how he died. mummy like how tf i tell them police dragged him out and he died in an encounter for trying to escape. it’s better for them to not know the truth. which.............. ok fair, but coming from this shadyassss woman......

god this mummy ka ainvayi praising vansh waala scene is going on too long. fwding.

riddhima back to room. some more flashbacks. OUFF. FWDING.

obligatory kamre ka tod-phod scene. FWDING!!!!!!!!!!

fell asleep crying and holding one of his coats.

LMAO ISHANI KA MANN NAHI BHARAA GHAR KE ITNE CASUALTIES SE............ SHE’S LIKE WHAT’S ONE MORE????

dadi slapping ishani for doing what any one of us would do, honestly, so.... whatever. fuck off dadi.

ishani telling 100% truth ki jabse this useless b has entered my bhai’s life, his problems have been never ending, i’m fucking sureeeeeeeeee she’s the reason he’s dead. the only voice of reason in this show, truly.

dadi all WOH EK HAADSAAAA THAAAA, NOONE CAN CONTROLLLL THOSEEEE, oh yeah, not the sentiment that you were expressing to riddhima when she walked in, you stupid old bat. whatever, i’m fwding this scene.

kabir and mishra have entered house. coz they are awwal no. ke sadists. need to get off on watching this family cry and suffer.

LMAO THE LOOK RIDDHIMA GAVE KABIR. HE’S LEGIT SCARED OF HER.

angre bhi staring daggers at kabir. chal hatt, i know for sure you’re behind saving vansh and stashing him somewhere to crawl out whenever it’s the right time. 

body nahi mili blah blah blah

lol this one’s face clearly says milegi bhi kaise, main tum logon ki tarah nikamma nahi hoon. i have 16% success rate. it’s low but it’s more than y’all 0%.

lmaoooooo oh DOW DIGGY DIGGY DOW DIGGY DOW DOW, i love you sooooooooo much.

ALSO WHAT A MISSED OPPORTUNITY TO MAAROFY THE PUN KI “MAINE VANSH KE VANSH KO MITAAAAA DIYAAAAAAAA” severely disappointed in you, kabir.

yup. appropriate response. to just generally all the men in your life.

lmao riddhima like you arrested vansh ONLY COZ I LOVEDDDDDDD HIMMMMMMMMMMMM. lol the amount of self delusion. sis, his feelings for vansh were faaaaaaar more powerful and intense than anything he ever felt for your dumb ass.

kabir saying there’s nothing left for you here, why don’t you come back to me and lmao............... he tried.

 “riddhima nahi. riddhima vansh raisinghania.” 

ok whatever you say, sis. i’m just grateful to god this manhoos episode is finally over.

———————————————————————

14.11.20

redo of last scene.

lmao kabir is like I HATED VANSH WAAAAAAAAAAAAY BEFORE YOUR DUMB ASS FELL FOR HIM. YEAH I DON’T LIKE THAT YOU PICKED HIM OVER ME, BUT I’M NOT SO BAD THAT I’D TAKE REVENGE FROM HIM FOR THAT. yeah, dude. he just wanted his money; not youuuuuu. like..... chillll. kahaan se aata hai logon ko itnaaaaa confidence khud pe???

kabir saying i had proof vansh killed ragini, i found his watch there next to the body. she’s like i had it, i took it to repair it, and ragini died in front of me. vansh wasn’t anywhere near there.

lmao she’s back to shoving him around. what an annoying bitch she is. 

kabir like did you SEE who shot ragini? no????????? then it could very well have been vansh, right????? plus i got that footage from 3 years ago.

she’s like hein hein heinnnnn where you get it from when i burnt that chip????????? OH NOW SHE’S USING HER BRAINNNNN. SO WAS VANSH THE ONE RENDERING HER SO FUCKING STUPID? NOW HE’S NOT ADDLING HER BRAIN WITH LUST HORMONES, HER 3 BRAIN CELLS ARE FINALLY WORKING AGAIN!!!!!!!!!! take this as proof, ladies. MEN MAKE YOU FUCKING DUMB AS SHIT BY JUST MAKING YOU BREATHE THE SAME AIR AS THEM.

kabir saying someone from inside the house probably saved it and sent it. and that vansh made all this happen by taking mishra’s gunnnn and forcing them to take the sunsaaaan paaath and he tried to runnn and blah blah blah.

again he’s asking her to come be with him and she’s like gtfo i don’t wanna see your cuteass face anymore, you’re dead to me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ok she didn’t say the cute bit, i did. i think y’all already knew that. but how to resist??? he sho cute!!!!!! 

mishra like this b kuch zyaada nahi bol gayi???? 

“dil par jo chot lagti hai, woh nazar nahi aati, but ghaav bohut gehra hota hai. yeh dard maine bhi mehsoos kiya tha, jab riddhima mujhe chod ke chali gayi thi vansh ke paas.” heinnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn? now he suddenly is/was truly in love with her again???? bhai, tu decide karle, ki if she’s just a pawn to you or something more. ainvayi jhool raha hai idhar udhar.

mishra like, ok whatever, but where vansh’s body tho???

clearly not him. the head shape alllllll different.

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAS THEY FINALLY PUT RRAHUL’S FINE ASS IN JEANS!!!!!!

again, no wedding ring. dead body is not vansh.

“bhagwaan jaane kahaan chali gayi uski laash.” lmao i really loled the way he delivered the line. i really love him the mostttttttttt.

kabir you are honestly suchhhhhhhhhhhhhh an idiot, if you think not getting his body is a good thing. DON’T YOU KNOW HIM AT ALL??????? AT ALLLLLLLL????? NO BODY MEANS HE’S STILL OUT THERE, BIDING HIS TIME TO FUCKING COME GET YOUUUUUU.

he’s like good, vansh didn’t even get antim sanskaaaar. who knew kabir was sooooo religious??????

vansh so efficient and independent ki khud ka kriyakaram kar raha hai. aatmanirbhar ho toh aise!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

not before he maarofied his own pocket tho.

“bohut jald iss VR mansion ke aage KR mansion ka signboard hoga.” hein???????? the R in there is for RAISINGHANIA. why the hell would you add one random surname to your name??????

YEAH. I KNOW THOSE CHITTAAA-ASSS EARSSSSSSS.

OMFGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG BHAGWAAAAAAN NE MERIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII SUNNNNNNNNNNN LIIIIIIIIII THEY MADE HIM SHAAAAAAAAAAAAAVE ASALKJDLKJDSLAKJDLASKAS

OMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG THE DUMBASS FAKE DEEEP VOICE IS GONE TOOOOOOOOO ALKSDJSALKDJLASKJDLSAKJDLASKJDLASKJDLKJLKS I JUST

styling also EXAAAAAAACTLY HOW I LIKE IT.

helllllllllllllllllllllllo hunny. NOW YOU’VE MADE THIS SHOW FINALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLY WORTH WATCHING. bas thodaaaa saa tharakkkkk ka maska i need to make my tellywood viewing experience sooooooo much easier. AUR WOH MUJHE AAAAAAJ SE MIL GAYAAAAAAAAAAA.

ok 13 days later.

bitch looks better after going through life-altering trauma than i do on my most stable mental health days.

talking to portrait about how the misery is unending, etc. etc.

kabir still calling her. WHY??????? dude just take the L and move the fuck on.

lmaooooooo mummy is like 13 din rone ki acting kar karke aankhon ki band baj gayiiiiii. 

standard mwahahahahaha we succedded bufoonery from too complacent evil ppl. dumb dumb dumbbbbb!

but let’s admire this evil cutie bean.

riddhima’s mangalsutra which she justttttt set down on that bureau missing. she in a panic.

ofc these two are behind it.

ishani wants the truth about that dayyyyyyy and aryan jumping in about how riddhima never loved vansh and just always doubted him and blah blah.

my question is since when aryan loves vansh bhaiiiiiii so much huh???????

anyway. this happens. and those two are left plotting some more about getting the truth out.

VIHAAAAAAAAAAAN is the new name.

seeeeee????? i knew his ass had some lucrative skill in the current economy. he some tech bro types.

CAN YOU BELIEVEEEEEEEEE THEY HID THAT FUCKING JAWLINE AND THOSE DIMPLES UNDER THAT BEARD FOR 5 WHOLE MONTHSSSSSSSSS. FUCKING HUMAN RIGHTS CRIMEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

unf, boy got cake. that ass just needed shirali to stay tf away from it.

also askdjalskjdlsakdjlaskjdlkj they turned ragini’s container waala room into his hacker man cave. what a wonderfully multipurpose room!

honestly, i’m just soooooooooo relieved i can just watch this show for eyecandy now. kaleje ko suchhhhhhhh thandak, yougaizzzzz.

banda khud vansh ke net worth (5000 cr.) ko dekh kar hairaan pareshaan. yeah, this much wealth accumulation is fucking immoral, asshole. you vansh did deserve to get thrown off a fucking cliff.

show laaaaaaaaaakh convince karne ki koshish karle ki yeh koi aur hai, my bullshit meter says it’s vansh vansh and no one else but vansh.

unrealistic af, someone PRINTING photos out in this day and age. what kinda tech person are you???????

lmao he’s checking out each photo for each family member and the commentssssssss.....

rudra chacha and chanchal chachi: “kaafi expressive faces! koshish bhi kare chupaane ki toh bhi chupaa nahi paa rahe ke lomdiii hain yeh ghar ke.”

aslkdjaslkdjlsakjdlskjdlksj i already like him better than old vansh.

aryan: “doosron ke bharose jeene waala.”

ishani: “raisinghania hone ka bohut ghamand hai, magar bechaari ki shaadi angre se ho gayi.”

how he know that if he not vansh????? angre not even in this set of pics.

siya: “kehte hain jo chal nahi sakte, unka wifi network bohut strong hota hai..... kab, kahaan, kya pakad le, koi nahi jaanta.”

“aur yeh hai....... RIDDHIMAAAAA....... iss parivaar ka most special aur khoobsoorat member.”

“moh aur maaya...... dono ka mel [...]”

yup, i definitely like this cheeky and cheesy persona better than the murder-threatening-paralyzing shit we had to put up with earlier. happy days, you guys!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! happy days!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[ravenclawsandbeak]

aftg hsm headcanons

i made the mistake of listening to the hsm soundtracks while rereading aftg and when Walk Away came on, my last two brain cells immediately went neil josten is that you?? so i apologize in advance

the foxes have, for some godforsaken reason (no one can remember if it’s nicky’s or allison’s fault) been roped into marathoning the hsm movies

neil has ofc never seen any of them and is somewhat wary based on kevin and aaron’s somewhat extreme opposition

“we should be practicing” “relax kevin they play basketball so we’re practicing by osmosis” *muffled screaming*

matt is suspiciously silent until dan’s laughter gives him away when he starts mouthing the words of Start of Something New

“it’s a good song okay, shut up allison”

to no one’s surprise, nicky knows every word and immediately begins serenading matt until he joins him in a surprisingly skilled duet

aaron wants to die

the only reason he hasn’t left yet is bc allison was smart enough to invite katelyn, who just laughs and applauds them when the boys take a bow

as soon as gabriella shows up at east high talking about constantly switching schools and being a math nerd, everybody rounds on neil

they immediately come to the conclusion that neil josten is, in fact, gabriella montez

a long debate ensues as to whether that makes andrew troy or sharpay

“they’re twins okay it’s perfect” “but...the pink”

allison indignantly insists that she’s sharpay and that to imply otherwise is slander

andrew just sits silently next to neil as the others argue, neil nudges him to make sure he’s not mad and just gets an almost-amused stare in response

they settle on troy after the roof garden scene comes on and nicky delightedly exposes them for their rooftop cigarette dates

he manages not to get stabbed

(mostly because andrew is too busy glaring at neil for his cheeky well, he’s not wrong to come after nicky where he’s using matt as a shield)

kevin is unanimously dubbed the chad of the group

(the entire I Don’t Dance sequence has him nodding approvingly at chad’s dedication until renee quietly observes that chad did an entire choreographed number to prove his point that he wasn’t cut out for choreography)

they do reconsider when they get to the third movie and chad screws up with taylor and has to make his dramatic promposal in the cafeteria

allison, nudging neil: this is actual footage of matt trying to ask dan out on a date matt: well it worked, didn’t it

it’s allison who risks andrew’s wrath to tease them when troy and gabriella are dancing on the roof

“so THIS is what you’ve been getting up to all those nights, damn andrew i didn’t think you had it in you”

neil scoffs when the others decide aaron is ryan because of his flirtation with kelsi at the piano

dan: i mean, secret romance? check.

allison: deranged twin preventing said romance? check.

aaron’s pissed because he thought it was stupid too but now that neil disapproves he has to go along with it, goddamnit

and maybe he also likes the way katelyn seems to have no trouble picturing it as she blushes and laughs

when Walk Away happens, at least three (3) of the foxes tear up

matt, tearfully: neil you are under no circumstances allowed to leave without saying goodbye again

neil:

andrew privately agrees, you were amazing ringing in his ears even now

neil just gives a sheepish grin and brushes andrew’s hand with his own and holds on tight when andrew rolls his eyes and gives him a nod

nicky, when the movie ends: so...anybody up for camp rock?

he gets hit with four pillows, two slippers, and a beanbag

i’m conclusion, i’m very very sorry for this mess

[tarithenurse]

Agent of Hope - 19

Your world falls into ruin together with the Strategic Homeland Intervention Enforcements Logistics Division when you find out that your boyfriend isn’t one of the good guys. Pairing: Brock Rumlow x fem!reader, Natasha Romanoff x fem!reader Contents: Hmmm...weapons, fluff, dealing with trauma, mention of rape, masturbation, violent reaction, difficult choices, more fluff, and kissing. A/N: Thanks to all of you who like and especially reblog <3 On a second note: been looking for houses (need to move out of my parents’ place with my husband bc omfc).  Also that GIF just is epic.

19 - An offer you can’t refuse

…   Romanoff   …

The tinny jingle from the Goldfish commercials doesn’t cause hesitation to the hands moving rapidly to find and connect the right parts needed in the task of assembling three different guns. Only when the last weapon is locked (and loaded) does Natasha spin the cell phone on the table with a frown. Unknown caller, but the small dots in the corner indicate that Jarvis is tracking down the number already and will have an answer in three…two…one…ugh! Langley.

“Afternoon.” The tone is flat enough to show the lack of enthusiasm without being downright rude. “What more does Langley want post-hearings?”

She can almost hear the crooked smile. “Hrph…I guess I shouldn’t be surprised, miss Romanova.” The twist to the last name sends shivers down the former Russian’s spine but the familiar voice continues. “I’m agent Ross…we met during the hearings…?”

The silence is allowed to reign in an attempt to get the man to talk, maybe say too much. Meanwhile, Natasha brings the Glock 26 behind the back and starts to dismantle it, counting the seconds it takes before every piece of metal is spread out on the couch cushion behind her, careful not to lose the pins or the little spring for the trigger.

“Miss uhm…miss Romanova? You there?”

Nervous. Not enough. “…yeah.”

“Good! Good. Yes…” Some paper rustles through the line. “Right…I know the hearings’ve been long and prob’ly bothersome,” agent Ross hesitates to allow for some comment but gets none, “s’I can completely understand and respect if y’aren’t interested, however…I believe that you may ‘ave information that could be of benefit to u- to the Agency, I mean, in terms of filling some gaps. Erm I think…what I’m trying to say’s would it be possible for you to – off record – have a look at our older intel?”

Wait…waaiit…one more second. An intake of breath is Natasha’s cue. “You want me to shed light on old cases that’ve gone sideways?”

“Well –“

“You think either SHIELD, Hydra, or maybe my former handlers could’ve botched it for you guys?” By now the short agent’s sputtering in embarrassment, maybe hoping for the weak protests to soothe any slights the insinuation could have caused. “Send me a top ten and I’ll see what I can do.”

“Really?!”

Yeah, why would I? Simply put, Natasha hates being out of the loop, and the spy in her is aching for the chance of (legally) getting hold of CIA intel. More than that, though, she’s learned the hard way how precious the currency known as “favours” are. Owe someone something? They’ll have a hook in you forever. Someone owes you? It can be the difference between life and death. An IOU from a CIA agent…that could be handy.

“No promises I can actually tell you more than y’know already.”

Movement behind her makes the Avenger turn her head, a smile already curving her lips at the presence of [Y/N] who eyes the weapons (and parts) cautiously.

“Oh, no! That’s okay, no worries!” An idiot might refuse the tentative offer and Ross is far from that. “I’ll compile the files and get them to…you…uhm…”

“I’ll text you an address.” A slightly oil-greased finger hovers over the phone already. “Bye, agent Everett Ross.”

…   Rumlow   …

The fly circles the room a few times before finally settling on the person in the corner, climbing across brown-stained jeans in short sprints before reaching the lax hand and taking off again. Next time the insect lands it’s by the dried spatter on the wall where the bullet had made a small crater when it exited the skull of…who was that? A glance at the pens and the old-fashioned glasses makes Brock guess at some dusty field of expertise like history or literature. Whatever it had been, the man had decided it was better to risk it all and go looking for Hydra on nothing but a rumour.

“Don’t mind zat,” Strucker dismisses the sight easily, “ze interesting zing is zis.” Careful not to touch, he points at the darkened veins and (with the help of a metal rod) the unnaturally blue eyes. “Ze experiment was quite a success, my friend. We are able to channel ze power of ze weapon into humans.”

“They all end up like this so far?” The eyelid hasn’t lowered again, so the endless glow of space is staring blindly at Brock no matter where he moves. “A bullet in the brain? Why did he get that?”

Chuckling softly, Strucker wipes the little stick in a handkerchief which he folds before depositing both in a pocket. “Zis man gained immense strengz but lacked control.” Oh. “Perhaps zere is a stronger connection between the state of mind and ze results zan we anticipated. We are now looking for actual volunteers.”

…

Fuck. However Loki did it remains a mystery still, but Brock won’t give up the hope that it will be possible to figure out how to control another person with the staff. Damnit, he’d seen the bit of salvaged footage and read the debriefs portraying the events when the Asgardian came to Earth and brainwashed top agents in no time.

The results of Strucker’s and his team’s work is vital both for the promotion of Hydra’s scheme…and to get anything useful from [Y/N] when she will get back again. I’ll be damned if it kills her. Brock’s all too aware that his craving for the ex-girlfriend wouldn’t be condoned if anyone knew – to be fair, he doesn’t quite like it himself because it makes him feel like he isn’t in control of his own damn mind. Every dream is either about missions and kills, sending adrenalin pumping through his veins, or they feature every detail of [Y/N].

The little smile when she was lost in thought. Her spine curving to jut the breasts upwards, skin subtle under Brock’s hands. Remembering the teasing hitches in her breath on a sunny morning, light filtering through the windows to catch in her hair as they made their bed creak together a lifetime ago.

“Godfuckingdamnit!”

Already, an erection is pressing painfully hard against tac-pants and Brock shoves a fist down to reposition the stubborn cock only for a new memory to appear the moment his fingers close around the shaft. Shea-butter mixed with sweat on pebbled nipples…perfect taste. There’s not much room to move the hand, but at least the pants are easily opened allowing for longer strokes.

The speed accelerates with each recollection, fist tightening and twisting while the echoes of [Y/N]’s moans are replaced by cries tearing from her throat when he took her with force. Fuck, it was so good, the man admits to himself, the struggle…oh yeah…the…the control. Breathing laboured, Brock has to lean against the wall, unable to stagger the last few steps over to his cot. She’d begged and pleaded, and he had been the one to grant her peace…or not.

He grunts as he comes. White stickiness spurting between his fingers, adding to the blurry haze from the inability to focus on anything else than the rush thrumming through the veins. It’ll be a short reprieve before the need returns like an endless hunger that nothing can sate. One thing can. But [Y/N] isn’t here, she’s tugged away somewhere with the fucking Avengers and that makes it all a million times worse because to think that Romanoff or maybe even Steve get to be close to her. Get to touch her, smell her.

It stings pleasantly when the hand connects with the drywalling and the structure behind it, thin strings of cum hanging from the torn plaster. At least that clears Brock’s mind a bit.

…   Reader   …

Lying awake all night, it’s almost a relief to sense the grey dimness take over the room and allow the outlines of furniture to stand out – not even Natasha’s steady breathing has been able to calm your mind after the hours of training spent to tire out your body at least. Why this time?! You’ve spent more than enough nights trying to escape nightmarish memories and negative thoughts but this…this issue is different and you’re happy with the decision you’ve made. I should just tell her.

It’s almost possible to make out the contours of Tasha against the white pillow, darker hair spreading like a halo of smoke. You know she sleeps lightly. Brushing your lips featherlight across her cheek, and she already turns to find your mouth with her own. Sweet and lazy kisses, a single tug to your bottom lip. Morning breath is a non-issue when she invites you into a bubble of gentle safety. Home.

“Morning, babe.” Her fingers tease the shortest hairs in your neck. “You’ve managed to sleep at all?”

There’s no reason to answer, just plant a peck on her nose. “I’ve made up my mind,” you offer as consolation, “and I hope you’ll understand why it’s important to me.”

The love never disappears from the touch while she sits up against the headboard. If it was light enough, you think you might see cautious interest mingled with concern in her eyes because Tasha isn’t as good as hiding it as she thinks she is. That’s a secret though.

“Okay…” She drags you onto her lap, straddling her so the strong arms can wrap around your waist. “Is it about the call from Ross?”

The scent of shampoo still clings to her hair as you bury your face in it, happy to talk into the red mess. “Yes, but mainly it’s about wanting to do what I can.”

Of course your reasoning isn’t perfect, but Natasha doesn’t interrupt even once as you explain how you want to do your part to support the hearings and the new request from the CIA by giving a testimony. Gifted or not, at least there’s information about Brock that can be of use and it seems someone else than just the Avengers are trying to clean things up…hopefully that includes tracking down the people that can be identified to Hydra through the data dumped on the net the day SHIELD fell. You promise to keep the ability secret to anyone outside of Natasha and her friends...admitting that you’ll have to be careful although you’ve got the most convincing cover to any strange phrasing “thanks” to what Brock and his people have put you through while in their hands.

The colours have returned to the world by the time you finish explaining. Dusty lavender heightens the rosy cheeks of the woman looking at you with a serious expression that makes your stomach knot. I have to do this. It’ll be hard as fuck, but it feels right. Feels important.

“I’ll let him know,” Tasha whispers, pulling you in for a tight embrace, “and I’ll be with you all the time.”

[attackonari]

Windmill (Hakuno, Rin, Emiya, Rani, Da Vinci)

I’ve written myself into a corner with Wolf Queen Hakuno. I need to figure that out. So here have this!

July 18th, New York City, N.Y, 10:37 a.m.

The cars on the highway overhead roared as they sped towards their destinations. Around me crews of police and forensic teams worked to ascertain the situation. I stood staring at the body long cooled on the ground. It was the fourth body in the last 3 months. I take a sip from the coffee in my hands and begin wondering, again, what the motivation for this was. 

“The M.O. is the same,” a haughty voice sounded from behind me. Tohsaka Rin is a beautiful girl with aqua eyes, long dark hair and fair skin that’s free of blemishes. She’d be more doll instead of cop if she didn’t have the personality she did. 

“Hey! Are you listening…?” Yup, from zero to bitch in no time flat. 

“Hey Kishinami!”

“I heard Rin,” I rubbed my temples, “I heard. So the m.o. Is exactly the same? Three different countries, four bodied, three months.”

“This one is getting around,” Rin crossed her arms, “and quite quickly too.” 

“Hmm…” maybe a bit too quickly. 

“Ladies,” Emiya walked up to us, “Chief called. Time to head in, the local police office is “allowing” us to use them as a base.” 

Emiya Shirou, muscle-head, look before you leap type and surprisingly, a good cook. If you ask him why he took this job, he’ll probably spout something like “I always wanted to be a cop.” Any dumbass with half a brain cell can see that “I always wanted to be a cop,” is more like “I wanted to be a hero.” Well Emiya, you got your wish. You’re a hero. A thankless one. 

Getting into a nondescript car and having Emiya drive us to the Police Station that was to be our headquarters for the time being we walked in to see Rani with her setup already up and running. Normally Rani would be all the way at Interpol Headquarters but this case is getting out of hand, faster than we can keep up with. She nodded to the three of us and pointed to the office besides her. 

“Da Vinci wants to brief,” with that she walked into the room. Hearing a sigh from Rin and a chuckle from Emiya we all walk in. I need another coffee. Spotting Da Vinci putting the finishing touches on the timeline and handing out the files of the victims so far. 

“Four victims, three months, three countries, same kill style,” Da Vinci begins. 

“All are different in ethnicity, age, gender and lifestyle,” Rani brings up, “Occupations range from theatre actors to construction workers.”

“It is quite obvious we are all missing something,” Da Vinci grimaces. Leonardo Da Vinci, Interpol’s genius and hailed to be the second coming of the actual Leonardo Da Vinci. She looks more like the Mona Lisa, but her parents must have thought that name too pretentious. Either way, Da Vinci soared up the ranks and at this point, she could probably run the entire organization but, in her words, “Paperwork sucks. I like being in the field.” Jokes on her, we all still have to do paperwork. 

“None of the victims so far have any criminal records either,” Rani’s emotionless voice rang throughout the room. Rani VII, no last name, tech support and hacker extraordinaire. Da Vinci brought her on to our team out of the blue and her emotionless voice has been in our ears with information ever since. I like to believe she was doing something very No-No and Da Vinci cut her a deal. She’s been a valuable asset, but never far from Da Vinci’s side when not at headquarters. Probably can’t be. 

“While,” I begin, “it is possible this is one person,” I licked my lips, desperately wanting a cup of coffee, “what if it isn’t,” I ask. 

“Explain,” Da Vinci demanded. 

“You believe it’s more than one person,” Rin asked, lifting an eyebrow. 

“Mhmm,” I nodded. 

“You’re a conspiracy theorist now Hakuno,” Emiya jokes, but I couldn’t help but roll my eyes. 

“Look, these people are all from different countries, and all walks of life right,” I pause, “so maybe they do have something in common. What are the things that bring in international crowds?”

“Hmmm,” Rin began, “Conventions pander to worldwide audiences.”

“Ah yes,” Da Vinci smiled, “we kept looking at the mainstream reasons for why one victim would have something in common with others. But,” her brow furrowed, “to think it would be something so thin like a tourist trap.” 

“Conventions, Tourists Spots, and any place in the recent countries that they have flown to,” Emiya rubs his chin, “also where they used their credit cards in those countries?”

“We went over their credit card records,” Rani stating standing up, “nothing was amiss there. Perhaps it was a place they paid cash instead?”

She began walking towards her station, “I will check the victim's travel documents,” we followed her out to her station and watched her work. 

“The victims have not traveled anywhere in common in the last year,” she paused, “perhaps I should try farther back?” 

“Yeah,” I said, “try not only farther back, but most likely they didn’t travel at the same time.”

“So you think they went to one place at different times and what,” Rin huffed, “this person or persons decided to target them now?”

“Someone who likes to play the long game,” Emiya asked. 

“Perhaps,” Da Vinci hummed, “it is a game for those behind this?”

“A-” “I’ve got something,” Rani interrupted me. We all turned to her computer screens and stared at the mess of records on the screen.

“Travel trips farther than a year back, all during different points in time, and I even went to try and look for footage of our victims in video memory of these places,” Rani type away.

“They all went to Italy at some point,” she typed a bit more, “all visited the same exact tourist spots, and all, at the end of their trip, walked into one place there.” 

“Where,” Rin asked.

“A restaurant called La Vita Babylonia. It’s an Iraqi Cuisine place hailed for authentic Middle Eastern food and is a part of the travel package that all the victims signed up for,” Rani stopped typing. 

“Travel package eh, what’s the agency,” Da Vinci asked.

“It is called Vimana Luxury Travel. And they do mean luxury. You normally have to be in the 1% to book with these guys. However, they do have a lottery that regular people can enter to win. Guess who won those lotteries?”

“Our victims signed up for a dream vacation only to die long after it’s over,” Emiya sighed.

“Rani, who owns La Vita Babylonia and Vimana Luxury Travel,” Rin attempted to type before Rani slapped her hands away. I shook my head wondering why Rin would try. The girl has problems operating her phone you’d think she was born before technology was a thing. 

“Ah,” Rani paused glancing at me, “Sorry Kishinami.” 

“Why,” I was confused. Why apologize to me?

“Because La Vita Babylonia and Vimana Luxury Travel is owned by the same person,” she brings a photo onto her screen. I hear a disgusted sigh from Emiya, an “oh!” from Da Vinci and a snicker from Rin. 

Staring back at me is an infuriating smirk, red eyes, blond hair and golden suntanned skin. I walk away to the coffee station and grab a cup. 

Because of course.

“Well, we now know where to go,” Da Vinci smiled, “You all have one hour to get your things and meet at the airport. Next stop: La Vita Babylonia!” 

And Gılgamış al Amari.

I down my cup of coffee. 

[dfcfanfics]

Looking Back At 2019

Greetings!  Your sixth-favorite old man who churns out Miraculous fanfics is back again, casting his eyes on the year-about-to-end and what came of it.

Throwing my ramblings behind a cut, for the benefit of those who are less than fanatical about them.

Okay!  Still here?  Great.  

Stories that I wrote in 2019 included:

Longfics:

Let’s Take It From The Top:  The conclusion to this one arrived in January. This was a long-running alternate universe story, the longest I had written at that time, rebooting the Miracuverse with two alterations:

1) Gabriel brought the Cat and Moth, not the Peacock and Moth home from Tibet.

2) Gabriel was willing to listen to Nooroo’s pleas to not use his powers selfishly.

That simple starting point cascaded into a very long chain of surprises and reinventions of familiar Miraculous events.  Old faces with new Akuma identities, including a new one (Firefly) for Marinette before she ever becomes Ladybug!  A Wish gone awry that eventually threatens all of France -- and perhaps more.  Good Gabriel exploring the possibilities of Nooroo’s powers while attempting to save his son.  The eventual emptying of the Miracle Box in an all-out showdown.  Adrien in pink sweatpants.  The answer to what happened to Atlantis.  And my very first piece of fanart received ever, from the incomparable @yunyin.

It’s a lesser-loved piece of mine, but I think there’s some very solid writing in it, so if you skipped over it I’d encourage you to check it out.

Someone To Watch Over Me:  My labor of love.  This was inspired by absolutely perfect Ladrien concept art from @buggachat, which I will never hesitate to link.  I fell in love with it, considered how I would work it into a longer Ladrien idea that was bubbling in my brain, and reached out to @buggachat with a first-chapter draft.  She gave me the go-ahead to continue with it, and I hope she likes what I did to her poor characters along the way.  ;)

Adrien’s attempted Akumatization and Ladybug’s last-second rescue leads to far more than either of them bargained for.  Marinette reaches out to Adrien with comfort and affection in both of her identities -- and finds Adrien responding to both in kind, as much as he is capable of in his somewhat emotionally numb state.  Slowly, she cracks his shell and a Ladrienette triangle forms.  Though obviously Marinette would be fine with being Adrien’s girl in either identity... he doesn’t know that, and the slow burn to full-on romance is quite the ride.

All the while, Gabriel is watching his son closely, as his master plan requires someone with emotional ties to Emilie to be Akumatized and Adrien is his last-hope selection.  He watches the evolving relationships, ready to pick off whichever one ends up broken-hearted when Adrien makes a choice and the triangle collapses... and is curious when that doesn’t seem to happen.  A dinner party at Marinette’s proves memorable, followed by one at Adrien’s that proves... life-changing for all.

24 chapters, 230k words, my longest chapter ever, an Adrien moment that startled many readers in a very good way, and many other delights.  

It Seemed Like A Good Idea At The Time...:  This one wasn’t supposed to be a longfic.  It started out in my mind as a wacky farce, responding to how Heart Hunter / Miracle Queen ended and examining where the Adrigaminette triangle might go.  But the more I wrote at the beginning, the more I started digging into the emotional possibilities and felt like, well, this could actually go places.

This picks up with Marinette overwhelmed, hiding out in her room.  The blossoming relationship between Kagami and Adrien, the new responsibilities of Guardianhood, knowing what happened to Master Fu, and many other questions are screaming inside her skull and she is out of answers.  A ring of her doorbell shatters everything, though, as it reveals a sobbing Kagami; in this version, he tries being her boyfriend but abruptly cuts it off, admitting that he loves someone else.  And we all know who that someone else is... and now Ladybug knows that, too.

And our heroine... snaps.

12 chapters so far, a deliberate experiment in writing shorter chapters (each one is under 5k) that has been... well, challenging to both myself and my readers.  The response has been good and it is nearly complete; I’m thinking maybe four more chapters unless something changes.

Not-so-longfics:

Two Hearts That Wax And Wane:  The first of a small handful of response fics to Puppeteer 2, specifically the car scene near the end, which I found to be one of the definitive moments of the entire Season 3.  It certainly created veritable oceans of salt on Tumblr, so I decided to try to make something sweeter out of it.

Marinette has heard “the girl that I love” from Adrien’s lips... and it certainly wasn’t referring to her, at least as far as she knows.  So... now what?  Adrien isn’t sure what Marinette’s reaction meant, but he knows that he screwed up somehow, and that he needs to make things right with her or potentially lose a very precious friend.  And so four chapters follow, one from each Love Square side’s perspective (Adrienette, Marichat, Ladrien, Ladynoir in order).  

Angst segueing into fluff, as is my usual formula.  

Full Stamen Ahead:  A five-parter that makes an utter shambles of the French education system.  (If you’re sensitive to Americanizations, this is not the fic for you, unless acres of fluff serve as a sufficient antidote.)

The school is promoting a Carnation Day, in which white, pink or red carnations are delivered to students for a nominal fee.  Marinette decides that she’s finally going to confess her feelings, but an interruption by Chloe disrupts her red-carnation attempt.  Seeing an opportunity, Chloe responds with a nasty plan of her own... and chaos soon reigns.

Five short chapters of high school antics, detective work and flower petals.

Just One More Minute...: Another fic inspired by Tumblr art, this one by Ladybeug.  After five hours of fighting an Akuma, our heroes tumble together to a rooftop, unable to move another inch.  They’re about to detransform, and they know it.  But... surely... they could rest for just a moment before they act, couldn’t they?

One-shot.

Playing A Familiar Chord: Puppeteer 2 response fic number two, this one from a Lukanette perspective.  After hearing what she did in the car, Marinette returned home feeling completely disheartened.  Who might be out there that she could turn to, talk to, call on the phone and get a male perspective on about what just happened?  Who could be her Big Brother today, even though they both know that he’d like to be more than that?

One-shot.  Fluff, comfort, and a Luka who’s smitten but remains assertive as well.

After the Storm Breaks:  Heart Hunter/Miracle Queen response fic, examining what might come next.  A short time after the finales, Adrigami is fully enabled... as is Lukanette.  A party that Adrien, Kagami and Marinette all attend becomes awkward, so Adrien calls Marinette to make sure that they’re still on good terms... and a lot of unexpected truth comes out.

One-shot.  Fluff, comfort and friendship.  Exploring a far stronger Adrienette forming even while they’re each dating other people.

A Little Promise I’d Made Myself:  A super-fluffy one-shot.  It’s a New Year’s Eve party at Rose’s house, and while Adrien is having a good time, he notices that Marinette is sitting off by herself.  So he joins her, and as the countdown to midnight approaches, Marinette wonders if she has it in her to give him a real New Year’s kiss...

Crack and Silliness:

Assorted bits of insanity, response fics and stuff that popped into my head.

The Logical Conclusion:  Ladybug examines why all the Akumas center around one particular classroom... and presents Chat Noir with her theory as to whom Hawkmoth must be.

Reservoir Kwamis: Quentin Tarantino’s film Reservoir Dogs from a Miracuverse perspective.  Maybe three people will enjoy this.

Getting Things Backwards: Backwarder response crackfic.  Adrien opens Marinette’s “love letter”... which is actually Fu’s constipation medicine prescription... and interprets it in a very different way.

First Times Are Always Awkward: On Ladybug and Chat Noir’s first outing against Stoneheart, Tikki is not fully aware of modern technology... like cell phone cameras.  So that “Kwamis cannot be photographed or recorded” extends to their magic as well -- like certain costumes.  Alya ends up with quite an eyeful when she watches the footage she captured...

Communication Breakdown:  In an emergency, Plagg needs someone else to accept his power, don the ring and be a hero.  He’s in a room with someone who is able and willing.  But when it comes to saying “Claws out” aloud, there’s one little problem...

Busted, Said The Kwami: Kwami Buster response crackfic.  Adrien finds himself dreaming of a midnight visit by Ladybug, who becomes Multimouse, who acts... unusually.  This is not Plagg’s first rodeo with size-changing heroine fantasies, though.

Nooroo Uses A Swear Word: He sure does.

Options Include...:  A response to an Instagram post by Adrien.  Marinette sees Adrien admiring Nino and Alya’s relationship, and pining for one of his own, and reacts...

Leave Some Stones Unturned: Wayzz and Marinette investigate Master Fu’s studio, as Wayzz is aware of many secrets hidden away there in Fu’s absence.  They find a pair of Kwamis who are not from the Chinese set, and whose concepts and personalities startle Marinette greatly... (Little Feat fans will appreciate this one.)

If you’ve reached this note, I thank you regardless of whether you’ve actually read my stuff or not.  :)  

I thought Season 3 had a lot of interesting components and a lot of very flawed execution, both in where it chose to take the characters and the usual nightmares involving episode ordering and character consistency.  I sincerely hope that the hiatus before S4 will allow Team Astruc to present a more coherent and consistent approach in 2020. 

Tumblr salt of You’re Not Writing The Story How I Want You To! and My Ship Must Sail NOW! will continue, obviously.  That’s life.  But Tumblr salt picking apart writing choices and characterization in what they actually put out there... that I can get behind.  The Marinette Defense Squad remains vigilant.  My hat is tipped to the many Tumblr folk who approach these episodes with a critical but supportive eye; recognizing what’s good, pointing out what’s not and wanting what emerges to be great.

Best wishes to all in the new year, particularly @brittsarts, my tireless artist friend still plugging away at the comic-ization of Tyger, Tyger, Burning Bright and doing fantastic work at that as time and energy allow.  

[forthisone]

The Handmaid’s Tale 3.12 Thoughts

The first 30 minutes of this episode was maybe the most sustained satisfying The Handmaid’s Tale content I’ve ever seen.

Cut for spoilers. This post is long. I have this thing where I ramble. A lot. Welcome to my stream of consciousness.

Comments in some kind of chronological fashion...

Does Beth know that June killed Winslow? When she said June was “fucking fantastic” I got the feeling she only meant the Billy stuff and she didn’t know about the Winslow part, hence why she was surprised about the bruise on her cheek? But, also, how would Beth NOT know what had happened, if she knew about the Billy part? I guess maybe she was just sent the cakes from Billy as a “yes”, and she doesn’t know any more than that?

June being told she’d “got away with murder” and that Fred and Serena had been captured... that was great. I think I would have liked a bit more focus in this episode on June dealing with the fact that she had just killed someone with a pen, but ok. I feel like Season 4 might focus a lot on her dealing with all of these feelings, and dealing with who she has become, but for now she is blocking everything out to get the job done. 

The moment Fred realised Serena had betrayed him. I LIVED for that reaction. That was truly the best.

However, Fred’s “jail” cell was waaaaaaaaaay too fucking comfortable. What the fuck? I expected that boy in an orange jumpsuit, in some rusty cell, in chains. WHY weren’t we given that, as viewers? Literally the most comfortable jail I’ve ever seen, in any show, ever.

RITA. YES. Pretty sure that’s the most we’ve seen Rita all season and it was great. “I want in.” I’m SO HAPPY SHE IS BACK IN THE SAME PLACE AS JUNE. Although, maybe she won’t be for long if she is on that plane. Hoping for much more next season either way.

It was so good to see Moira and Luka again too.

BABY HOLLY LOOKS EXACTLY LIKE NICK OMG. And Moira was FUCKING AMAZING. “Who are you, really?” YESSS MOIRA. “You are the gender traitor.” YES. MOIRA. God, I missed Samira Wiley.

And, while I didn’t like to see Holly upset, it was so satisfying to see Serena be a stranger to her and not be able to comfort her and not be able to refer to herself as her mother in front of her. “You can’t use terms like that, it will confuse her.” Here for it! Serena has got what she wanted but she immediately realises it’s not going to be what she thought it would be.

There was also a shot of Serena that focuses on her wedding ring and her finger stump at the same time, and I appreciated that shot. Just wanted to say that.

Luke punching Fred. A++++++++++ I’m glad Luke got that punch in. I 100% thought that Luke had smuggled some kind of weapon in that folder when he first walked in. My brain full on mapped out an entire storyline of Luke shooting Fred and Fred dying and Luke going to prison for it … what a curveball that would have been! I’m kind of bummed it didn’t happen.

I’m also surprised Fred didn’t mention Nick to kick Luke when he was already down, but I guess Fred himself is still in denial about June and Nick’s relationship, he’d rather think that June felt something for him and forget all about Nick being the father of the baby. Also, let’s be real, at this point it’s like Nick doesn’t even exist anymore, in any aspect of this show, or the memories of any character, AT ALL, IT’S LIKE HE WAS NEVER HERE, so why on Earth I was expecting Waterford to mention him, I don’t know. I’m just desperate, honestly.

Eleanor. I mean, I’m not sure how to feel about this twist at all, except that I feel awful and horrified. At least she is at peace now and she doesn’t have to live with all that pain anymore. But, God, it wasn’t June’s decision to make to just let her die. No June no no no no no. Who even is June anymore? I think Lawrence for sure knows that June did check on Eleanor and I think maybe he will do a 180 on helping her now. His motivation for leaving was Eleanor and Eleanor’s safety. And now that motivation is gone. He doesn’t care about getting out. I guess it will come down to how much he cares about the children and his own conscience. But I think all he ever really cared about was Eleanor.

Remember how this episode started with June pointing a gun at Eleanor? Well, she pulled the trigger, I guess, in the end.

I really don’t know what’s going to happen with this plane. I want it to succeed but I will be so surprised if it does. I feel like the last two episodes have been the satisfying ones (end of 11/start of 12) and now shit has to start going sideways again. But the fact that they’ve said June won’t be on that plane makes me think that maybe it will succeed and this will mean the Gilead/rest of the world conflict will hit the fan in Season 4. I think they might need those children to escape to propel the storyline on. If Gilead can almost go to war over the loss of two Commanders, pretty sure they will implode over 52 lost children. And we’ll see a lot more battle/war next season? I might have biased reasons for wanting to see the frontline *cough*

Also, where’s Emily? I’m ok with her not being shown this episode as there was a lot going on, but I’d really like to see her again before the season is out, please?

(And now, if you don’t like Nick or Nick fans, you can stop reading now as the rest is all about him. I appreciate it’s impressive how, each week, I can still find more to write about a character we haven’t seen for six episodes now, but don’t worry, I managed...)

So, someone on Tumblr posted that Nick was in Episode 12 earlier this week, because of something they’d seen on Instagram. THANKS FOR RAISING MY HOPES YET AGAIN, PERSON.

Because of that, there were a few points I thought he might appear (I live in hope). Firstly, at the beginning, when June was told there were Commanders in the sitting room with Lawrence, I suddenly was like “OMG IS NICK GOING TO BE IN THAT ROOM?”. But we got fuckwit Putnam instead and some other wanker. Fuck it. Secondly, all the talk with Lawrence on the phone about starting a conflict, closing the border… I thought they might show him in Chicago when some kind of attack was launched. Thirdly, I also thought maybe they’d bring him in as some kind of witness in Fred’s trial, maybe even sent from Gilead to try and get Fred back? The latter two ideas still might happen. If they do bring him back next episode I think it will either be something to do with Fred’s trial or something big happening with the conflict in Chicago. I think Fred’s trial might be a focus of next season though, not next episode.

All I can say is I want to see the scene where June fully breaks down over all she has done this season and for Nick to be the person who brings that out of her and finally lets her feel that. I want to see the human side of June again. There was a moment towards the end this episode (after the scene about the wine with Lawrence) where she almost cried and she stopped herself. She often looks on the verge of tears to be honest, but she’s still trying to stop herself from feeling anything. She needs Nick to help her access her emotions. Although, to be honest, June has changed SO MUCH this season that I can’t even imagine how her and Nick would interact anymore. I can’t imagine what that’s going to be like. And, like I said, I’m not sure who June is anymore.

SPECULATIVE FINALE POSSIBLE SPOILER: I am still expecting Nick to be in the finale as Max has spoken in interviews about footage that we haven’t seen yet (and there’s also a shot of him in the Season 3 trailer we haven’t seen yet), but, honestly, at this point, I don’t even know what to believe anymore. Every time I think he will for sure be in the next episode, he isn’t. Maybe Max is wrong and they just cut all his scenes, even the ones that were filmed?!?  And the worrying thing is that I can definitely imagine them doing that.

I really did think we were going to get one Nick-centric episode (with flashbacks to the Crusade) later this season (not even just because I am biased, I just really thought it would happen), to explain his part in it and the cliffhanger they left his character on in Episode 6, but I feel like that ship has sailed now and surely they won’t do that in the finale?

Just let him live through the season, I guess. That’s all I want, so we can actually see him next season, maybe?

But the rest was good...

[keelywolfe]

FIC: Reaction Shots, ch.3 (baon)

Summary:   Still in the aftermath of the events of ‘Any Other Tuesday’.

Notes: Time for another POV! This time we are looking from Red’s POV. Yeah, good luck with that. Lookout for the kustard in this one!

Tags: Spicyhoney, Original Undertale Characters, Established Relationship, Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Prejudice Against Monsters, Violence, Injury, Prejudice from Police Officers, LV issues, Kustard

part of the ‘by any other name’ series.

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2

~~*~~

Read Chapter 3 on AO3

or

Read it here!

~~*~~

Red

No one could’ve dragged it out of him, not even with pliers, but Red was exhausted and that was a fact.

Didn’t matter, not a fucking jot or tittle. Not like it was the first time he’d gone without sleep. Once this shit was finished, he’d go down but until then? He’d learned years ago how to use his magic to shore him up when he was flagging. Both he and the idiot twins had magic in spades, and if those two never bothered to figure out how to use it right, well, Red wasn’t interested in demonstrating. He had a handle on this.

After he returned the Blueberry’s car, keys left in the ignition for him to bitch about later, Red stopped back at his place for a coupla things. He made a point of walking, even if he was bitchin’ tired. Shortcuts ate up magic and he needed all he could spare. He already had another car lined up to borrow, that was next on his list.

Turned out that choosing not to teleport was a mistake, but what could you do? His hindsight had always needed glasses.

“so where do you think you’re off to?”

Red stopped, briefly closing his sockets. Sans hadn’t asked permission before coming into his house for a couple months now, not since their little spat.

Spat, yeah, that was a good name for it. More like someone forcing a choice that he hadn’t wanted to make, but Sans…well, Sans was a fucking asshole.

The real problem was that Red had a thing for assholes, hell, he’d mostly raised one. Assholes were handy dandy, so long as they were facing the other way.

Red didn’t need any fucking liabilities, thanks. It was enough of a pain in the ass to look after Edge’s and no matter what Sans said, trying to play it off like it wasn’t like that, didn’t change anything, did it.

That smirking asshole was his own personal albatross and now Red got to lug him around. The bitch of it was, that sometimes? He didn’t even mind.

Today was not one of those fucking times.

He turned, taking in Sans’s lazy sprawl on his sofa, for all the world like he was on the Titanic just waiting to strip off so someone could draw his nudey shot. But see, Red knew better than to believe that shit. Those pale eye lights didn’t miss much, Sans was a shit and an asshole, but he was on the ball.

Where was he off to? Please, like they both didn’t know where he was headed and what he had planned. Sans might not that the details but he knew, same way he knew that Red’s soul was cobwebbed with cracks, LV or no. He saw, like Stretch did. Like Red did.

They always knew too much when they wanted to; only difference was that lately, Stretch didn’t go looking very often. That was honestly okay by Red, kept him out of trouble.

But Sans knew, of course he fucking knew. Only question was whether or not he was gonna let Red play it off. “aw, you worryin’ about me, sweets? i’m heading in to work is all.”

“you can’t kill them.”

Welp, that was a pretty clear no. Red sighed and made a mental note to delete all of his living room recordings. They were locked down with triple redundancies, but no such thing as too careful, now was there.

“can’t?” Red said, lightly. “thought we were pretty clear last time about my cans and can’ts.”

That was the deal they’d settled on with pinkie swears and spitting in palms, the works. They could fuck exclusively, no outside players, and Sans didn’t have to keep it a secret anymore so long as he didn’t hire a sky writer or some shit. But that was it, there was none of that telling each other what to do bullshit, no fuzzy bunnies and matching outfits.

Well. Not more than they already matched, anyway.

Sans didn’t look particularly moved by that, and yeah, none of ‘em liked to break a promise. Didn’t mean they wouldn’t squeeze around it if they could find some wiggle room. “i get the urge, but you gotta let this one play out. last time, i get it. he was threatening a lotta people, that game needed called. these assholes though? it was just a few drunk guys pulling stupid shit.”

“stupid shit?” Red said, low. “that what we’re callin’ attempted murder these days?”

He looked hard at Sans, at that face, similar and yet not to his own. “it wasn’t just a coupla drunk guys, those fuckers aren't even from ebott. they came in from out of town special for this, all ready for dinner and a show. they were lookin’ for a couple of monsters to fuck over.”

Sans didn’t so much as flinch and yeah, that was how Red ended up in his pants to begin with. Stupid fucker, almost suicidal tendencies, really, ‘cause he didn’t get involved until he did, and when Sans was in, you better believe it was for 110%.

“yeah, and you need to stop planning some of your own stupid shit right now,” Sans said, cool as a drink of water. “they need to go to court. it’s shitty, but we need this publicity. i don’t want to wait for someone to get dusted before they actually make attacking monsters a real hate crime, with real consequences.”

“they would have killed stretch. they almost killed andy.”

That was the flat fucking truth of it, didn’t even get into the rest of the trouble it caused. He’d seen the cell phone footage, all of it. None of ‘em had a clear shot of Stretch healing Andy and the ones that came dangerously close were taken care of before they even hit YouTube. That had been the important part, making sure no one with an agenda and any mad scientist tendencies in ‘em got their hands on it…or on Stretch.

They’d all had their fill of that kind of shit, thanks, and the buffet was closed.

“would have. almost. didn’t. you can’t fix this that way. not yet.”

And wasn’t it chuckilicious that Sans was right? Because he was, Red knew he was. Antwan has been busting his balls for months on proposals for the criminality on hate crimes against Monsters, being that it was a fuckton more dangerous than a lil’ human on human action. Humans bled, Monsters died, and that was a fact. This was almost a fucked up blessing in disguise, really, but—

—that wobbly cell phone footage. The kid laying there, bleeding on the ground, the shock on his face, on Antwan’s face, and his bro, the cold fury in his sockets and he had it covered, he did, might have killed those fuckers right there if Stretch hadn't said something and he had LV, would always have LV, he protected what was his, shouldn’t have to but he did, and so did Red…

Sans only sat there like he was waiting on some tea and fucking scones. No pity on that face, no sympathy, only maybe a shred of understanding, but Red got the picture in crystal-clear HD. Sans wasn’t going to let him do anything; he’d put in the effort this time to stop him, and that…would not end well.

It took Red a sec to sort through his internal sarcasm files but in the end, he settled on grudging honesty. “i can’t just sit here.”

Neither of them had the capacity to not smile, but wasn’t nothing stopping their smirks from widening and Sansy’s did. “well, see, i knew that, dollface. why do you think i’m here?”

The way he licked his teeth made a lotta dirty promises and wet dreams seem like a possible raunchy reality.

Wellie, well well. Sans was a shit and an asshole, but he wasn’t half-bad as a distraction, too.

Beneath that bulky hoodie were sleek bones, not quite as stocky as his own, Sans wasn’t a battle-ready model. He was more delicate, more fragile. Almost pretty.

Fucking liabilities.

And as Red pushed Sans down on the sofa, most of his thoughts were on those bones and that mouth doing a damn fine Hoover impression. But there was a dark corner set aside, in the same place that Stretch kept his math brain and Sans kept his tech one. Red’s quirk was planning, yeah, and that never turned off.

All right, so he couldn’t kill them. But what no one could see wasn’t gonna be a problem. A little pain tended to build character and Red was in the mood for a little karmic retribution.

-finis-

[sunsetcurve]

(1/3) UMANA I FORGOT TO TELL YOU THE BEST PART OF MY R5 CONCERT STORY! (I swear this is the last time I’m going to bring it up, you’re just like,,the only one who knows what I’m talking about) so okay,,I realized yesterday when I was going through my concert footage that Riker actually looked at me a lot and I think it’s because I was one of like, three people total that payed attention to the other members besides Ross (I actually kinda blew Ross off but that’s another story kskd)

(2/3) so anyway, I realized that he was actually looking at me (or at least my phone camera kskd) a lot which was amazing in and of itself, but it was during their song I Want U Bad that he pointed to me, and so that night after the concert it’s like 2 am and I’m almost asleep and Riker straight up tweeted the video for their video I Want U Bad and nothing else and I was like “that’s for me???”

(3/3) “like he’s obviously thinking of me right now and he tweeted that for me and me only” akdksks. Like, deep down I know he was just doing that to promote the video or something but teenage me is STILL convinced that it was a little bit about me 😂😂😂 (also sorry if I did tell you this story and forgot you know I only have one working brain cell ajdjwjfje)

okay idk if this is from a while ago because i’m so sorry but i haven’t checked my inbox in forever!!! but OMG that’s literally amazing like. you told me about him looking at you but not about him tweeting the video after!!! honestly you’re so valid like...if that happened to me i would basically be like “wow he’s awake thinking about me at 2 am 😌😌😌” and honestly? i don’t doubt he was. that’s your power. your influence, nikki.

also can i just say this is one of the best concert stories i’ve ever heard, and i really want to hear about how you blew ross off because first of all how dare you (i’m kidding sgdjdj) and second of all imagine being THAT bold !!!

[allthegodstars]

Sapphire Flames Snippets

Little Snippet:

The Harris County Institute of Forensic Sciences occupied a nine-story building on Old Spanish Trail. Its blocky lines, rectangular windows, and orange brick practically screamed that it housed some sort of government agency. 

I maneuvered our Honda Element into the parking lot. It used to be our surveillance vehicle, but last year Grandma Frida decided to rebuild it from wheels up.  Now the Element sported a new engine, a reinforced suspension, and custom dampers for enhanced shock absorption. The windows were bulletproof, and the new glass had both the safety glazing and a polycarbonate layer on the inside, so if someone did shoot at us, the windows would crack but hold together. And most importantly, the Element was now equipped with B5 level armor, which meant it would stop most handguns and shotgun blasts.  It could have been armored enough to withstand a sniper shot; however, Grandma Frida reasoned that our best chance of survival was getting away fast, and armor was heavy, so she stopped at B5 and added a reinforced floor and run-flat tires. 

Unfortunately, even Grandma Frida had her limits, and steering was a bit sluggish.  I was used to it by now and I aimed for a parking spot in the middle row.

“So, what’s with you and Alessandro Sagredo?”  Runa asked.

The steering was sluggish, but the brakes worked perfectly.  I jerked forward, and my seat belt slammed me back.

“Nothing.”

“Aha.”  Runa pulled on her own seat belt.  “That’s why we screeched to a stop halfway into the parking space?”

“My foot slipped.”  I gently eased forward and brought the Element to a smooth stop.

Last night, after Bern carried Rutger into the guest bedroom and Runa settled in on inflatable mattress next to him, I went back to my office, rescued Alessandro’s picture from my desk drawer, and brought it upstairs to my bedroom. He looked so carefree, caught in a magic moment somewhere sunny and warm.  When I looked at the picture, a disquieting, unpleasant feeling squeezed my chest, not pain exactly, but a kind of discomfort. I stood in my bedroom and wished with everything I had that I was there, in the sun, with a backdrop of green mountains and Alessandro and I were going somewhere.  Together.

It was stupid, and childish, and it would never be.  I hid it all inside, put the picture on my nightstand, and went to bed.

“So, you’re just going to go with ‘nothing?’” Runa asked.

“That’s right.”

“Your sister said you met during your trials.”

Sistercide was not a word, but it would be after today. “Yes.”

“Yes what?  Is there a story behind that?”

No. He didn’t follow me on Instagram, and he didn’t take my breath away during the trials.  And he definitely didn’t show up under my window after trying to convince me to go for a drive.  

 “We met during the trials, and my sisters haven’t stopped trolling me about it for the last three years.  There is absolutely nothing between me and Alessandro Sagredo.”

Strictly speaking, there was 5,561 miles between our warehouse and the Sagredo estate near Venice, Italy.  A commercial flight with one stop could get me to Venice in thirteen hours. 

“Your cheeks are turning pink,” Runa said.  “Are you imagining there being nothing between you and Alessandro?”

***

On Rants, Well Deserved Nature Of:

As I’ve pointed out four times now, this entire incident has been recorded by security cameras. The footage will show that Ms. Etterson and I were attacked without provocation and we defended ourselves as is our right under Article 3 paragraph 1 through 4 of the House Protection Act.”

“Is that so?” Sgt. Munoz’s eyebrows crept up a quarter of an inch.

“You have no cause to detain either me or Runa Etterson.  We have cooperated, and we have given our statements.”

“Ms. Baylor.”  He frowned.  “You wouldn’t happen to have an older sister, would you?”

That was just too much. “When Nevada encountered you, she was under a great deal of stress trying to keep us alive and save Houston.  She didn’t have a chance to note that every time there was an incident requiring a law enforcement response, you mysteriously appeared on the scene.  But I did.”

He watched me, impassive.   I kept going.

“You are attached to the House Response Unit of Houston PD, tasked specifically with handling incidents involving Houses.  Every member of this unit is assigned a number of families, in which he becomes expert. So, you know perfectly well that I have an older sister and that she is currently out of the country.  You know the names of every person in our family, their birth dates, and their magic. You probably know the exact nature of my powers, despite the fact that my records are sealed.  You are here because my last name popped up in your system. So please don’t insult my intelligence.”

***

When English Language Is Just Not Enough:

Warning: hilariously odd bad language ahead. Poor Catalina.

Bug served as Rogan’s surveillance specialist. Magically altered, he processed visual information at an astonishing rate. If anybody could find [Redacted], Bug could. He was also fanatically loyal to Rogan.

The moment we involved Bug, Rogan would know every detail of what we asked and why. Then Nevada would know, and, considering the usual colorful way Bug made his reports, there was a strong possibility that she would freak out. Bug found the vast array of curses available to an average English speaker completely inadequate and used every opportunity to add his own, which often amounted to a random collection of expletives that left you befuddled. I could just imagine the way that report would go.

“Hey, so you’ll never believe this dick fart thing: they want me to find [Redacted]. Isn’t that just pork balls? The gnome molester apparently stabbed somebody. Whore dimwit shit brain dungarees!”

***

A Simple Menu:

Since it was my turn to cook breakfast anyway, I headed to the kitchen.  Cooking was basically my and Mom’s job.  When Nevada lived with us, she was too busy keeping us fed and clothed. Bern and Leon usually made meat, preferably, steak, and they served it charred on top and raw in the middle. Grandma Frida came from the generation when things weren’t cooked unless they were slightly burned, and my younger sister, who was actually a decent cook, when she had to be, couldn’t be trusted to stay in the kitchen for the duration of the cooking process.  She’d start something and then end up outside texting to her friends or in the media room laughing at some show, while we raced to save the meal. 

I decided on a simple menu. I put two packs of bacon into two baking pans and popped them in the oven, mixed the batter for the blueberry pancakes, and called Nevada while chopping mushrooms for the egg, mushroom, and cheese scramble.

***

Just You Wait:

My cell rang. An unlisted number. Oh good. Ten to one, somebody wanted to sell me super-special medical insurance or inform me that the IRS was about to arrest me unless I dropped everything and bought an armful of gift cards at Wal-Mart.

I answered it. “What is it?”

“You’re tracking me,” Alessandro said.

Runa’s eyes went big.

“I am not tracking you,” I told him. Technically, it wasn’t even a lie.

“You’re having me tracked. I understand that I’m irresistible. It’s a cross I bear. But do try to have some self-control, Catalina. I’m embarrassed for you.”

He… Argh. “As I recall, I never had a problem resisting you.”

“I thought we agreed that you would drop this.”

“I didn’t agree to anything.”

“Catalina, listen to me. This is serious, the people involved are dangerous, and your well-being is important to me.”

Since when? “Why don’t you tell me more about it? Maybe if I fully understand the danger, I’ll stay out of it.”

“No, you won’t. You have no sense.”

“I have all kinds of sense.”

“This is your last warning, Catalina.”

“Or what?”

“Trust me, you don’t want to find out.”

He hung up.

“I have all kinds of sense?” Runa quoted.

“I was too mad to think of a snappy comeback.”

I glared at the phone. Insufferable ass. When I got my hands on him, I would pry his mind open like a tin can.  And then I would make him do a little dance, record it, and play it for him on a loop after I drained my magic off. Irresistible. I’ll show you irresistible. Just you wait.

***

A Pithivier:

Steps sounded behind me. I turned. Runa caught up with us. “Matilda said you would be out here. That child is odd.”

More like unsettling, until you got to know her. “She’s an animal mage. They are unique. Did something bad happen?”

“You mean in addition to everything else?  No.”

We both watched Shadow sniffing at cracks in the asphalt.

 “Whatever is cooking in the kitchen smells amazing.  What are we having?”

“Lemon roasted chicken with rosemary baked potatoes, chive butter, kale and brussels sprout salad with tahini maple dressing, and an apple pithivier.”

Runa gave me a long look.

“I cook when I’m stressed out. It sounds more complicated than it is. In reality, it’s mostly season things, dump them in a baking pan, and stick them in the oven.”

“What’s a P.T.V.A.?”

“It’s a French pie-cake made with puff pastry.  The traditional version uses rum and almonds, but nobody likes rum, so I make mine with apples.”

***

For more check notes.

[flashback823]

So That’s Why Ink Has So Many Conniptions (DankCCAU Episode 1)

I’ve been having fun little chats with @writeformekitty​ and this sort of happened. To put into better understanding, we just started talking out a situation starting with how Cage Crazy AU’s reality tv theme song would go and it spawned into this monstrosity. Anyways, this was not meant to be serious writing so most of the plot skips and strange formatting is on purpose.

Cage Crazy AU belongs to @writeformekitty with inspiration from DSF that belongs to @onebizarrekai

AND NOW I INTRODUCE YOU TO EPISODE 1 OF DANK CAGE CRAZY

You turn on the television, prepared for your late Friday night tv splurge. The screen shows the opening of a strange television show. The opening was what could be considered earrape: a mixture of the screaming of the damned and My Heart Will Go On by Céline Dion played by a kazoo or something.

Scene 1:

The unseeable audience claps as the “song” fades into only the kazoo, that is now seen to be played by the dark haired Nightmare. Nightmare plays it rather well as is being cheered along by Cross who is dancing to the tune. As Nightmare’s song fades out, he takes another deep breath and starts up the song for the Wii. Now, you may be wondering where Error is at the moment. That is a simple question. He is sitting in the corner with Azure on speaker phone. Error is covering his ears and regretting every life choice he has made.

Resorting to muttering, Error wallows in his own self pity, “I’m too old for this shit.” That catches Cross’s attention and since he wasn’t going to make Nightmare stop playing the kazoo, he decided to counter the blasphemy upon the glories of kazoos, “You’re EIGHTEEN. You should be rocking to this shit.”

Shaking his head, Error continues to rethink his life choices while lowkey roasting Cross in his head, "And that's too old for this shit. I haven't passed my teen stage of life yet but that doesn’t mean I think every meme on the internet is awesome. Anyways, it’s hurting my ears and brain cells.” Cross pouts a bit, making himself look half his age. “But Nightmare plays it so well!” Nightmare, having taken notice to the situation, returned back the My Heart Will Go On and tried his best to make it more obnoxious.

“I'm going to fucking stab him, how's that for doing well?" Error rose the fist that held his phone. Nightmare made a dejected kazoo noise but continued to play, all biet quieter. This is when Azure decided to butt in. Thankfully Error’s phone had been turned on full volume so everyone in the area heard, "Hey, at least you'd be knocking out two birds with one stone! Wait... one bird and an emo prince of the night." Suddenly the door on the room slammed open and the Dank God himself walked upon the stage followed by a suffering Ink. Dream strikes the T-Pose and screams out, “O F F E N S E  T A K E N." At that exact moment, Nightmare also vocalises his disagreement with the name. By this time Ink has retreated to the sidelines with Error, the both of them dying inside and outside.

Canned laughter rings out  at the sudden appearances. Nobody seems to take notice but a extremely distressed Azure on the other end of a phone.

Scene 2:

“Hey Error, I should go. I keep hearing voices in my place,” Azure hangs up and looks around. His cameras should have picked up anyone coming in. Where the actual fuck was this laughter coming from!? He didn’t realise but he spoke his thoughts aloud and another wave of unbodied laughter erupts from the walls. Giving up, Azure turns on his heightened security system and returns his attention the the footage of the hacked camera on his computer screen. Dream had a pretty good firewall, but Azure had managed to crack it. He even got the mic to work on his end too!

Azure was not one to laugh at many things… but the image he was presented with was hilarious to say the least. The television audience catch a glimpse on the scene about to be presented to them. What appears to be a dead Ink on the ground, a yodeling Cross dancing around the kazoo master Nightmare and Error continuing to die in the corner. Scratch that, this wasn’t just funny to Azure, THIS shit is fucking hysterical.

Scene 3:

To put it lightly, what had happened in the moments Azure had looked away were quite eventful. However when the JR employees came into the room hearing shrieking, what caught their attention first (Nightmare and Cross having a dank musical duet of the century) was not the craziest thing that had gon on. The screen makes the classic rewind sound any the audience are shown what had occured.

Error and Ink were standing in their own little corner on the room. They were trying to avoid the dankness of their… companions? Ink facepalmed, groaning into his hand, “I don’t get paid enough for this.” Error turned to the last decently sane person in the room, “Do you even get paid?” Ink laughed a little before looking up, “I’m alive, aren’t I?”

“True but get this, I have to live with those two and several more like them on a daily basis. You only have one crazy boss,” Error snickered quietly, as to not allow the Meme God to hear him. It was no issue anyways because on the sheer volume of Nightmare’s kazoo and Cross’s yodeling. “Are you trying to one up me?” Ink challenged, “10 bucks says I have the shortest end on the stick.” Error shook Ink’s outstretched hand, the simple agreement turning into a complicated handshake consisting of flips and hoots.

“Why don’t you go first,” Error suggested. Ink nodded, “Alright I’ve noticed this pattern with him whenever one of these are in his presence.” Ink took out his brush and whipped up a skateboard. Error looked at it quizzically, “What are you gonna do with that?” Ink raised a hand in a signal to wait for it and approached his boss.

“Lord Dream I got something cool to show you,” Ink said to the God of the Memes. Dream raises an eyebrow and nods at him to continue. "See? It's a skateboard, I found it, and it looks nice, so I assumed you might want to tr--" Ink didn’t even get to finish the sentence. The board was slammed straight against his head and snapped in two. Dream looked down at the crumpled body on Ink, a delighted grin upon his face…. Until he saw the board.

Dream started bawling like a child any screamed, “The board broke! I want a new one NOW!”

Suddenly, servants start rushing in, asking Dream what kind of board he want, what color, any particular brand? Dream had gotten angry at the first question and had shouted at him to just get the damn board.

Error bends down to the fallen and forgotten Ink and hands him ten dollars. He was not expecting that.

Scene 4:

When the servants returned, the room hadn’t changed much except that Ink was nursing his abused head while Error pat his back. How Nightmare hadn’t lost his breath with the kazoo nobody knows for sure. Cross had consumed several glasses of mountain dew and had changed from yodeling to singing the lyrics of All Star. The servants, not being given any specific instructions had grabbed the most fitting skateboard they could find.

It was yellow on the bottom, with a purple silhouette of some bird on the back. They had thought it would be perfect for their god. Dream didn’t agree, “WHY DIDN'T YOU ASK WHETHER I WANTED A BIRD ON THERE!!!? WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO IMPLY!!??? ASK ME NEXT TIME!!!” They all sighed dejectedly and accepted the vocal punishment, they could never get him right.

Once they left, they had a small conversation. “We just can’t ever win,” employee #1 grumbled as soon as he passed through the door. A second servant elbowed him slightly, “Dream hasn’t killed us yet. That’s winning here.”

A third employee shook her head a little, “Would death be so bad? I mean, compare it to this hell! Our boss is literally an insane and powerful god who eats glitter glue!” Suddenly she was body slammed to the ground and hand covered her mouth. “Idiot, what if he heard you?”

Meanwhile, back in the room, their All Powerful God of Memes was happily eating glitterglue to the sound of Ink having the third conniption this week.

Scene 5:

Scratch Azure’s previous statements, was there any word that is stronger than hysterical!? Azure was laughing his ass off in his swivel chair, not even minding the canned laughter that harmonized with him. Now this, this is why he should hack Justice Reigns more often. Azure mused aloud whether this situation could get any better!? Turns out, it could. Nightmare produced a second kazoo while Cross pulled a trombone out of nowhere. Error, having given up on his sanity ten minutes ago, was already at the oven that was somehow in the room. Ink is already crying.