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m-aster-of-spinjitzu · 3 years

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the hues of an empty sky

Missing memories, or having two of them for one moment - not quite the same, but if there's one thing Jay's leant over the last few weeks, it's that literally nothing makes sense anymore.

Or, some Skybound aftermath, Zane actually expressing emotions about his memory switch being turned off for all those years, and what was supposed to be a 'they tell everyone about the erased timeline' fic, but it turned into a 'two characters who barely interact on screen talk at like one am in the morning, and don't actually tell the other what exactly they're alluding to the whole time' fic that I wrote at like one am-

Also yeah, I realized too late that they split up to look for Wu after s7, we’re just gonna pretend that they waited a few days or something, idk anymore tbh, lol.

(I also didn't have time to edit - so please tell me where the typos are? 😂💛)

Word count: 4539

Prompt: crying, from @ninjago-bingo 's warm board.

Trigger warnings: the main character has a panic attack, and squeezes their fingernails into their hands once or twice but I think that's it.

*facepalms* also, guys, i’m so stupid - i literally just realized that this freaking CHANGES TENSE HALFWAY OHMYGOSH I- i don’t think it’s super noticeable, but ugh, apologies to anyone who actually thought my writing was good lol-

---

It's cold.

Bitterly, freezing cold.

The biting chill of the air is a bit strange for this time of year, but, heck, that's nowhere near the craziest thing that's ever happened to him - not by a long shot.

He sighs, squinting at the stars dotted liberally against the black canvas of the sky.

Cole had once joked that one of them might be the remains of their golden weapons, after they'd hurled the burning mass into the sky - in another alternate timeline; one that only existed in the memories of a certain few.

Gosh - that seemed like such a long time ago.

Wouldn't it be nice to go back to that time, when he'd still thought that their powers were the coolest thing ever - instead of despising them for all the responsibility and sacrifice that came with them? When one of his biggest worries was whether the girl he had a crush on liked him back - not wondering if his friends would survive the night?

"I did not expect to find you awake at this hour, Jay."

Reflexivity, he jumps back, his mind twisting his friend's gentle voice into the- the djin's triumphant, accented one.

You're supposed to be a ninja. What good are you if your friends can still sneak up on you?

"Geez, warn a guy before you sneak up on him! I almost fell off the Bounty!"

"My apologies. I was... surprised to find you awake at this hour," Zane answers. "What are you doing?" "Couldn't sleep. It's too cold," he confesses, not entirely a lie. Ninjago wasn't 'that' far from the Sea of Sand, but he'd grown up in a much warmer area - unfortunately resulting in his practically nonexistent tolerance to the cold. That never failed to stop Kai from teasing him about it, though. He doesn't mention the pressing weight on his chest, almost tangible - or how it constantly makes him feel. Like he's being dragged through the darkness of an empty sky, spikes of fear making everything so freaking terrifying- "You?"

"I have been analyzing my memories of Pixal, in the hope that it may lead me to her whereabouts. However, all my efforts have proved... unsuccessful," Zane answers wearily, shifting his gaze to the sky.

Oh- oh. They'd all be so caught up in the chaos of the last few weeks - hey, it's not like any of them had asked the universe to permanently be out to get them! - that they'd forgotten Pixal was still offline.

"Hey, I'm sure that she's still there somewhere," he says, earnestly. "After all - she wouldn't be your girlfriend if she didn't pull a vanishing act every now and again, eh?"

The question is punctuated with a laugh, but he doesn't say that he's a little worried about her too. They hadn't talked much, but-

I can't see one of my best friends find out that his girlfriend is dead, a quiet voice at the back of his mind points out. Well - been there, done that, wouldn't recommend, he thinks bitterly. Emotional breakdowns and frequent nightmares apply. Anxiety attacks are half off, too!

It's quiet for a few minutes, neither of them seeing a need to break the silence. The wind blows softly through the sails above them; gray wisps of cloud revealing a pale sliver of moonlight that paints the sky in its glow.

It should be a peaceful night: beautiful, calm, no one trying to kill them or destroy their city - for a change.

His hands won't stop shaking.

It should be a peaceful night, but, as usual, the world is too freaking unfair for that-

He hasn't even slept for a full night in weeks! Well, not since- since-

Don't think about it! That's only going to make it worse, duh-

"Are you alright, Jay?"

"Yeah- I- I'm good, thanks," he says quickly, ignoring the way his breathing keeps speeding up. FSM, not this-

Not for the first time, the world suddenly becomes too loud - too much. Every little thing, from trying to breathe properly or even walk- feels insurmountable, because, gosh, oh gosh, it's going to come crashing down if he even moves-

The memory starts off the same as it always does.

Rubble strewn over the temple grounds, his friends literally reduced to nothing more than statues. A shot that hit the mark perfectly, but perfectly shattered his world in the process.

A poison-splattered dress, a terrifying realization.

Her well-aimed joke, but one that never fails to sting every time. Gosh, why hadn't they just allowed her to join their team in the first place? Maybe they could've prevented this- this- whole situation, if they hadn't been so freaking egotistical-

And, again, he's overwhelmed by the sheer sense of helplessness, all his power and training and skills completely useless to one of the people he cared most about. FSM, if only I hadn't used my first w-request so carelessly! If only I'd been able to escape- or, or if only I'd been able to assemble the team faster! If only-

Despite being in what must've been unimaginable pain, she offers a strained smile - a sweet gesture that, ironically, feels like she's poisoning him, because- because FSM, this is all so wrong, it wasn't supposed to end like this-

He watches with horror as her eyes dull and she stills in his arms.

She's gone, FSM, she's gone and it's all my fault-

"Jay?" a voice asks, concern evident in their tone. Distantly, he registers that he's having a breakdown in front of one of his best friends - one of the things he'd been trying really hard to avoid.

Dang it.

"I-" he tries to say, but, great, he's breathing too fast to even get the stupid words out.

"Breathe in for four seconds," Zane says, softly.

Four seconds? Time has no meaning right now, narrowed down to, like - falling down a chasm, terrified of what's at the bottom, except the fear's all around, this- this... foreboding thing of his mind that keeps yelling that he needs to run, or fight, but he can't, can't-

Right. Four seconds.

You're okay, you're fine, no one's trying to hurt you or your friends. She's not dead.

But what if- what if they're being dragged out of this ship right now? What if it was all a dream, and she's dead anyway, because all of us were too stupid to come up with another plan, and none of us could even do anything when she-

After a little while, when he could breathe a little easier, and the fear didn't feel like it was slamming into him from every possible direction, he slowly opened his eyes. Shakily, he wiped a tear from his face - as if that would wipe away all the weeks that had, theoretically, never even freaking happened.

The sky comes back into focus - pinpricks of light against pitch black.

How was he going to come up with some sorta explanation without... well, explaining everything?

Great.

My nerves are frayed, and I have to lie to a walking lie detector - what could possibly go wrong?

"Are you alright?" Zane asks, his brows creased in concern.

"Heh heh, yeah. Probably just too many video games," he replies quickly, laughter a bit strained.

"You were muttering to yourself," his friend replies quietly. Ugh, trust the way-too-observant-nindroid to call him out on the remains of his facade. "If you do not mind me asking, what was 'all your fault'? I am sure that it was probably a misunderstanding."

You're the one who misunderstands everything, he thinks wearily, ignoring the part of him that yearns to tell someone else about... well, everything that's happened because of that stupid teapot. He's not one to keep secrets by nature, and it's been taking a bigger toll of him than he'd thought it would. Is this how Nya felt when she was still the Samurai? "It's- it's nothing, probably just nonsense."

"Are you sure? You seem... quite worried about something."

Dang it, were his hands still shaking? He presses his fingernails into his palms, squeezing his eyes shut for a second.

He's talking to one of his best friends, FSM. Weren't friends able to tell each other anything?

"Do you think it's easier to forget? Better?"

He didn't even realize he'd asked a question until Zane's eyes widened in surprise.

A forest coated in snow, ice crystals dangling from the tree branches above their heads. Plenty of screaming - way too much, he reflects, couldn't they have been a bit nicer? It must've been pretty jarring to learn that you weren't human, or that your father had erased years of your life from your mind - in that weird underground treehouse. Those crazy tree monsters - and the realization that they all had much more power than they'd thought.

"N- nevermind," he stutters, fleetingly thinking of kicking the deck. "That's way too personal, you don't have to answer it-"

"I do not mind," Zane says, a bit sadly.

Oh.

Heck, his friend was way too nice.

They gaze up at the stars for a few minutes, not really seeing them - one drowning under the weight of too many secrets, the other, too many memories.

It's quiet - too quiet.

Ugh, he thinks, sighing, that sounds like something a low-budget horror movie would start with, cringey sound effects to match.

But the silence is a painful reminder of the days he'd spent tossing and turning in a cramped cell - nothing but his worries and the bruises on his leg from that stupid ball and chain keeping him awake.

He's been trying hard - maybe too hard - to avoid being alone, avoid being in a situation where they've gotta be quiet ever since then, because, dang it, his memories always seem to fill the silence, and they're always far more terrifying than they should be-

It's easier, in a way, to be mocked for his stupid jokes than it is to relive a single moment from those nightmarish few weeks.

Almost reflexively, he grasps for something to fill the quiet.

"Heh, this is a bit awkward. It's okay if you wanna leave-"

"I do not mind," Zane echoes, walking a bit closer. "It is not as if I need to sleep. But... I do not quite know what to think of your question."

There comes the answer - or a semblance of one at least, and it's the last thing he'd been expecting.

"You don't know?" he blurts out before he can even think of trying to filter the thought. Way to treat your friend who's been nothing but kind to you, Jay. "But you're- you're a nindroid! You know everything-"

"Pixal," his friend mutters softly, sighing, and the hurt, the fear, laced through the word makes something in his heart practically twist. He knows all too well what it feels like to be in that situation - even if, technically, it had never happened.

Then- "I wish that were true. But I suppose that my emotions make certain situations much more complicated than... than they need to be. Thus I cannot give my perspective on this - or, at least, without sounding quite conflicted."

"You know that you're allowed to be conflicted, right? Even the coolest Nindroids don't know everything."

"...Yes, I suppose so."

Jay frowns at the almost subconscious hesitation, eyebrows creasing in concern.

"Seriously," he starts earnestly. They're both leaning on one of the railings just above the deck now. "Just 'cause you're a nindroid doesn't mean that you've gotta chase some kind of perfection that doesn't even exist."

He doesn't miss how Zane's eyes widen in shock, their bright blue hue glowing a little brighter - and heck, if that doesn't hurt even more than the earlier realization.

"Besides - it's not like none of us haven't made mistakes before. Hate to go all Wu on ya, but they help us learn or some stupid thing like that. Even if the mistake is trying not to make 'em, you know?"

"Thank you," Zane replies, a tired smile on his face. "Even the most advanced tech is susceptible to error, I suppose."

They've all made lots of mistakes, heaven forbid if one of them is still agonizing over messing up over the crazy situations the universe constantly put them in. It's not like they were told they'd have to face more ancient evil armies than they could count, were they?

Maybe it's time to stop focusing on events that never even happened, and pay more attention to your friends. What's the point of being part of this team if you're always scared or selfish?

"Shut up," he mumbles, rubbing his temples. What's the point of fighting if your own brain is gonna fight you whenever it gets a chance? A few seconds later, he schools his face back into his default anxious grin. "Great, cause I- I- could use your advice on something." "Alright," comes the quiet reply, his friend seemingly lost in thought.

"What if you wanted to tell someone something, but you couldn't?"

His breathing starts to speed up again, but he grips the deck until his fingers are practically bruised, stark white against his tanned skin. Not this time-

"Is this what you were referring to earlier? An event that you blamed yourself for?" Zane asks, eyes flitting between the floor and the sky.

Dang it, way too observant as usual. He masks his surprise with a laugh, but the conversation definitely isn't going as planned and, oh gosh oh gosh, what if-

No, there's no way that any of them would even believe that. Besides - no one can remember stuff that they've forgotten, especially if magic's at play.

"Yeah, kinda," and he's surprised by how steady his voice sounds. It's not easy to even think about that- event, talking about it is a whole different thing. A much more difficult thing, but also - a bit, a little bit, easier. "I-" "Apologies for interrupting," his friend interjects. "I suppose that I have not been entirely honest with you." What?

"A few days ago, I discovered a number of deleted memory files buried deep within my code."

Just like that, his whole world tilts out from underneath him.

It takes every ounce of his strength to keep himself from falling into the abyss again.

Wait, what?

Has he really known for all this time? It's been weeks! Surely he would've said something? It can't be, it never even-

The rational part of his mind points out that he can remember every day of those few weeks. Well, he was the one to make the wish - magical logic is kinda stupid, but maybe that's why he had to remember it or something?

Well then, a small voice interjects, why was Nya cursed to remember everything too?

Of course, even the stupid magical logic doesn't even make sense to the one who caused this whole mess in the first place.

"They were almost entirely corrupted - scrambled in a way that I am not familiar with. However, I did realize that certain files bore dates that have not even occurred yet. I dismissed it as a problem with my code, however..."

Breathe, calm down, it's not like he was able to process them or anything-

We agreed that no one was supposed to know! What if they end up blaming us for keeping it a secret this long, or, or-

"I mean, they could've been-" he starts, but the way in which he's nervously twisting his fingers is a pretty clear indication that he's lying, dang it.

"So when you mentioned that you were unable to tell someone something - did you mean that it was because they had quite literally forgotten about it?"

Great. Fantastic. Of course the literal robot has pieced it together by now-

He squeezes his eyes shut for a minute, hoping that if he ignores the problem, maybe it'll go away.

Okay, fine, maybe he's trying to figure out a way to fix this whole mess. Doesn't mean that he's any closer to coming up with a solution, though.

"Er, yeah," he whispers, shoulders slumped, eyes still firmly shut. Because gosh, he doesn't want to - can't, can't - see the realization dawn that, yeah, he's lied to people he's known for years and years, even though they've all seen way too many times that secrets bring nothing but trouble-

"Well, then - I would say that you don't have to tell them," Zane replies, surprisingly... earnestly? That, or he's either too freaked out to understand the tone properly. Could be either.

He opens his eyes, hesitantly.

And it comes as a bit of a shock to find nothing but concern reflected in his friend's.

The almost persistent weight on his chest feels a little lighter now, like the sky isn't as quite so empty.

Well, it still kinda is. But that doesn't hold as much weight as he'd thought it did - not if one of his friends is willing to look past that; past the heaviness of holding up all those memories with nothing his single star, flickering in and out of the darkness, to try and light the unforgiving darkness of the sky.

"Why?" Jay asks, so quietly he can barely hear it himself. "Don't I owe it to them? Do you?"

"No. Definitely not," comes the reply, so full of conviction that he almost stumbles back. Why-

"My father..."

Oh- oh.

"thought it was better to spare me the pain of mourning him than for me to know who I was," Zane confesses, hesitantly. "Not that I disagree, necessarily. I just..."

He trails off, clutching the railing so hard that the wood almost snaps beneath his titanium fingers.

It takes Jay a little while to realize why - why exactly his friend, who has access to a wealth of knowledge and information, is grasping for an answer. Because- because, well, even if someone does something in your best interests - sometimes the choice isn't always up to them. Or maybe it is, but it was... difficult, to say the least, to let go of the fact that his parents had never told him the truth sooner. Not that he blames them, necessarily - it's not like they knew that his father would pass on before he'd even get the chance to meet him - but... it's confusing, and difficult, not to know why you were left at a junkyard as soon as you were born. Maybe if he'd known that sooner, he could've asked the one person who might've had answers - although it's not like hoping for the past to change will actually change it.

They don't even know that you know, a small voice at the back of his mind points out, and suddenly everything makes a lot more sense-

"You wanted a choice," he breathes, eyes widening. A choice - like one that he'd never been given, one that he stills struggles not to hold against two people who've always had his best interests at heart. Even if they did have the right to withhold that one thing, after all they've done for him - the 'what if's' still echo in his mind far more often than he'd like. "There's nothing wrong with that, even if it feels that way. I kinda get where you're coming from, dude, and it's... super confusing, but I'd be pretty mad if my memories were tampered with like that."

So would anyone, he realizes, heart sinking. Oh, great. Not helping-

"I- I suppose so?" Zane answers, but it sounds more like a question than a reply. "However, in the same vein, it would be unwise for you to give away your choice whilst you still have one." "But don't I owe it to everyone? You just said it, it's horrible to alter people's memories and I- I-" "Did we forget... whatever it was for a good reason? "I- I mean, I guess, but..." "Then you do not owe it to us to relive something that we do not even remember." The words should be a relief - and they kinda are. But some part of him really does want to explain the crazy alternate timeline, and everything that happened in it. It's just... really, really freaking difficult.

"What if- what if I wanted to, though?" Jay asks hysterically, running his hands through his hair in a frenzied sort of way. "And I still couldn't? I just, I-"

He cuts himself off with a bout of forced laughter.

Zane takes a moment to reply, the bright blue light in his eyes flickering - a small tell that he was thinking so deeply, his processors were literally sparking up a bit.

"You queried earlier if it was easier, or better, to forget. And while all situations are different, I suppose it is... well, subjective. What do you think?" Zane asks, softly.

Derailing the conversation a bit, but his friend's obviously smart enough to be leading up to something.

Sure, he'll go along with it.

"I mean, there are some things I'd rather forget, you know? I guess we all know what that feels like," Jay replies, the statement with oddly sad air to it. They're still kids, after all, and it gets a bit exhausting pretending that their superhero lives were all fun and games - when they'd just given him enough grey hair to last then lifetimes, and enough nightmares to keep him from ever getting the normal amount of sleep his mum always prattled on about.

Sleep, heh heh. Practically a foreign concept, now.

"And I know that stuff that happens, like shapes us or something - and Master Wu would probably go off on a whole ramble about why we learn from our mistakes or whatever," he laughs nervously, resisting the urge to just fall headfirst onto the deck of the stupid ship instead of continuing the conversation," and how 'our scars only make us stronger', crap like that, but I just-"

"I'm just really... tired of this," he confesses warily, shoulders slumped. "W- I remember so many horrible things, and I-" he breaks off, laughing bitterly. His voice takes on a sort of brittle quality, way too high pitched, "and I can't even talk about them, dude. If that's not the most pathetic thing ever, I dunno what is."

"It does not-"

"Don't say it," Jay mutters, rubbing his temples. "I know, I know, my feelings aren't pathetic, they're always valid, whatever, spare me the lecture-"

"That is not what I was going to say," Zane replies gently. "It just seems that you have answered your own question."

"Gee, which one?"

"I do not know how much helpful assistance I can provide in this situation, but it is understandable to wish certain events had never occurred. However, seeing as we cannot change the past, it seems unwise to dwell on said events if you can avoid it."

Jay stiffens, clamping a shaky hand over his mouth. Something seems to press down even harder on his chest, a heavy sort of weight that causes his breathing to speed up again. Don't say it don't say it there's no reason to warn them this time-

"If you would like to tell any of us about something, of course you are welcome to. It does not to be the whole story, after all. Just make sure that it is the decision you choose, not one you choose because of what you think how it will affect others," Zane finishes quietly, ducking his head as if he's embarrassed.

The stars are still white-hot, burning away some million miles above them.

"Thanks," he says, and puts his hand softly on Zane's shoulder. "I mean, I know - that all makes sense, I guess. It's just- I-"

"You want to?"

"Yeah," Jay starts, sighing, "I do. It's just- it's not just my choice. And I'm pretty much dying already right now, so, as fantastic as making it all worse sounds, hard pass."

Oops, maybe he shouldn't have said that last bit. They'd agreed not to tell anyone about it - even this conversation was cutting it way too close. It wasn't impossible for them to put everything together - they were a pretty smart group, after all, even without their resident inventor and engineer - and Jay didn't really know what he'd think if they did. Fearful? Relieved? Angry?

"That does... not sound great? Dying certainly does not seem-"

"It's called sarcasm, Zane."

"Oh- yes. My memory now accesses the fact that people often speak in that manner. It does seem a bit counterproductive, though. Why not just say what you mean?"

"Shut it, you have no clue how integral to my life it is," Jay replies with a halfhearted grin.

A few seconds later, he remembers something his friend had mentioned earlier, and the grin disappears.

"You know that you can talk to us if you're not happy, right?" he asks, earnestly. Sure, it's not like he could always do that, considering, well, a stupid djin and even stupider magic, but it's not like he needs to. It's- well- he'll be okay, probably. Maybe. Kinda.

Zane's eyes blink on and off again, blue fading in and out. "I... I suppose that I was not quite aware of that."

Okay, they've screwed up way too many times, but this... this is pretty bad. Dang it, how long does it take for them to throw self-preservation instincts at their friend before he freaking- picks them up or something?

"However, will it not hurt those who have experienced the same unfortunate events?"

Dude, not the best question to ask someone wondering the exact same thing-

"It's been... uh, nice, kind of, talking to you. So- I don't think so, and I'm pretty sure someone would say so if it did. Besides, don't we talk about our adventures all the time? It'd probably be better if we... uh, well- heh heh, nothing."

"If we talked about the less than positive elements of them? Perhaps, but I still-"

Maybe it's the fact Zane has always tried to be there for him, or maybe he's too sleep deprived to care anymore, but this is a way too familiar situation and-

Well, not ignoring the issue would be a start.

"Sorry to interrupt, but we're family, Zane. We care about each other. And, gosh, that means that we care about you too. Memories are stupid and annoying sometimes, but we have to make good ones too, right? To block out the bad ones a bit, I guess? Kinda, at least."

They both look away from the stars now, grappling for something else to say.

In the end, they leave it be with a hug and a fondly exasperated warning about sleeping, if you happen to need it.

After all, they're family. They don't have to be perfect, or tell each other everything - even if it does take them a long time to realize that, and an even longer time remembering it.

---

The next time Jay startles awake from a nightmare, the sky is still empty - painfully so, like an ache that simmers beneath the surface even when it's not able to be seen.

The hue, though, is a little lighter.

Just a little - the all-encompassing darkness of it is now a navy sort of blue, his star shining a little bit brighter.

It's still not sunrise, not even close - but he'll take it. AN: the ‘sky’ mentioned at the start and end is a stupid metaphor that i somehow ended up liking too much to trash, it’s ‘empty’ because he hasn’t told anyone about the timeline, and Nya’s not included because they never had a chance to tell each other everything significant or even talked about it or processed it on screen. so yeah! if you read this,,, not great thing, can i send you a hug or good vibes or smth? tyy🥺

#ninjago #jay walker #zane julien #skybound #ninjago fic #not the best thing i've written #actually it's not great-#but i spent too long on it to not post it so if you actually read to here i simunltaneously wanna send you good vibes & apologize profusely-#the ending is super rushed but im too tired to try and write a better one yay:/#also dang it- sorry this fits the prompt so badly i-#i didn't realize till after oops #ninbingo #ninjago jay #ninjago zane #ninjago masters of spinjitzu

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painted-crow · 4 years

Text

Submission Time #12

Another submission from me! I’d meant to put in answers from the quiz… or really, my perpetual arguments with the quiz. But then I got distracted by writing out my thoughts and forgot to do that.

Oof, I’m afraid I don’t know who you are just from this–you sent it in with anonymous on! Hopefully that’s okay.

I get different answers from the quiz at different times. Last time I took it in earnest, stoned out of my mind, I came up Snake/Snake. This time I intentionally hatstalled to get as many questions as I could.

If this is too many words on top of too many words… I am sorry.

I see that lol! I appreciate that there is no lack of information here 😉

However, this post as it came in was VERY long, even by my standards, and for the sake of readability I've done 2 things:

1) Switched to desktop long enough to put in a cut. It broke the blue color I usually put over my replies in order to make these easier to skim, but I'm not putting it back because it's kind of a huge pain to redo.

2) Trimmed out some of the question/answer pairs. You have plenty, so although I read them all, I just kept those I deemed most relevant. I also skipped a few where my responses would have been repetitive. Just an editing decision I hope you'll be okay with.

That said, let's get on with the Sorting.

Primaries

• If people in your family or community disagree with you, is it hard to act against their wishes?

I’m not sure that I have a community, but yeah, if my SOs think something is a bad idea, I’ll listen and consider. I’m more likely to be the person disagreeing with and trying to convince someone else, though. Also, sometimes it’s plain easier to go along with things to keep life smooth. But if it was something important… I think I’d have to go with what I think is right, regardless of disagreement. I’ll listen to others, maybe I’ll change my mind, but I won’t not do a thing JUST because of the disapproval of my family.

Suggests internal primary, Lion or Snake.

• What’s your top priority?

I kind of hate this one because I want to answer all three. I want to make the world a better place for the sake of me and mine, and that’s one of my goals. Not one I imagine I can accomplish, but it’s something that matters. My kid will probably see a pretty rough world in the future and I wish I could do something to alter that, beyond trying to be an ethical consumer as much as I can.

This answer feels very grounded and practical. I want to say it feels Liony, partly out of process of elimination but mostly because it just does.

• When you’re making a decision and you’re stuck, what should you do?

Idk, panic? No, not really. I seek advice if relevant, don’t if not, seek out any information I can, think about it… make a decision… and proceed to worry about that decision for the next millenia because what if it wasn’t the right one? I usually go with my my gut choice but 1) sometimes I have to go hunting for that, and by sometimes I mean a lot, and 2) I still research the hell out of it.

The way you’ve answered this says more about your secondary than your primary, imo. You might be a Bird secondary.

• Do you listen to your intuition?

I’d like to, but I don’t trust it. I’m too afraid of everything.

Ooh, interesting. It’s worth noting, people who write to me are often Burned at least somewhat, because Burned Houses are always harder to sort; everyone reacts differently to trauma and comes up with different coping mechanisms. Wonder if you’re an at least somewhat Burned Lion who’s pivoted into Snake, perhaps because it fit with your old value set.

• Someone points out a flaw in your logic. Their argument makes sense, but there’s something about it that just bothers you. Do you change your ways because of what they said?

This one always bothers me. It’s not a thing that happens to me often, but I can’t understand not changing your mind in this situation. If someone points out that you’re wrong… well… you’d better go look into that, hadn’t you? Maybe because I’m constantly seeking to understand myself, and I don’t and that frustrates me, but… I don’t know. I agree with and disagree with all the answers.

This seems Bird at first glance, but it seems you’re too conflicted about it to be straight up unburned Bird (and Burned Birds are usually easier to spot because they tend to be wrapped up in the problem/s they’re struggling with). You might have a model or performance, too early to say.

That line about being frustrated that you don’t understand yourself is also a good hint toward an Idealist primary.

• Does disagreeing with your closest friends about something important to you make you love them less?

No, but I might think less of them, and I will probably argue my points at them in the future. Sometimes I change their mind, sometimes they change mine. I turned my SO into a social liberal, he caused me to adjust my stance on gun control. There’s always give and take.

Sounds healthy. That model’s sounding a bit more likely here. I’d be very curious if you turned out to be a burned Lion who actually had a healthy Bird model–that would be rare o.o

• What if everyone you loved left you? They betrayed you, abandoned you, or died, and you’re hurting. What keeps you moving forward?

This question makes me want to tear my hair out, because those are all different things.

If everyone I loved died, I would probably have a massive breakdown, spend a year laying in bed, and then use whatever money I inherited or insurance payouts I got to go try and live the life I’ve always vaguely wanted, traveling. I wouldn’t seek out relationships but I imagine I would, eventually, form new connections. It would hurt, but I would rebuild.

If they abandoned me, or betrayed me, which is… kind of the same, I guess, because abandoning me without cause is a betrayal… well, I would probably be confused, and angry, and curl into a ball and want to die, and then turn into a lifelong curmudgeon the likes of which I swore I’d never be. It would hurt, and I would probably be loathe to trust again.

This doesn’t feel Loyalist, at least.

• What if you realized that absolutely everything you thought was true was wrong? The authorities you’d trusted, the beliefs you’d held, the wrongs you’d fought against?

Another that trips me up. I doubt someone is ever going to convince me that punching down, bullying, or causing unwarranted harm is good. I don’t trust any authority without cause anyway, and I trust no authority to be right on every topic. I trust NASA about space but I’d be more interested in what the forestry service has to say about ecology, in a silly example. I’m not religious so I don’t have any authorities there. My parents were authorities once but it turns out they’re human and sometimes wrong, so…. I feel like I don’t know how to answer this question, because I can’t fathom what someone could tell or convince me of that would be that kind of a gut punch?

So, you don’t really have a system per se, but you do have a set of core ideals. You could call this a Bird model (and… a really healthy one if it is?) or you could call it partially unburned Lion.

• You can’t help everyone in the world who needs it, but you wish you could.

Nah, it would be nice to help everyone and I’m down to eat the rich and redistribute wealth and I firmly believe the point and purpose of society is to care for its populace, so definitely the world should be designed better to make sure everyone has a fair chance at what they want…but it’s not my responsibility to fix it for everybody, nor am I capable of it. I can do a small part, and I try to, but I’m not the savior of humanity.

I think we’ve established you’re not a Badger, although Badgers don’t always fall into this trap.

• You’ve changed your mind about an old belief or moral stricture that you used to value. You got new information and you’ve tried to update your way of thinking, and you think (hope?) you’re a better person for it. Do you feel guilty about the old belief you’ve abandoned?

Do I feel guilty for abandoning it? Not if I realized it was wrong! Do I feel guilty for having had the belief? Sometimes. I was raised in an unthinkingly classist household, and I still feel bad about my instinctive assumptions about people. I’ve worked on it a lot and unpacked a lot of shit, but I was definitely an ass and I regret that.

You have a lot of healthy Bird happening. I’m starting to wonder if your Lion is the model.

If you are a Bird primary, you’re one who builds your system much more than one who adopts it. You also seem very confident in your own perceptions, not unwilling to change but not impressionable.

When it comes to less major parts of your ideals, such as the gun control thing you adjusted your stance on, do you feel satisfied after puzzling things like that out? Or do you kind of hate that you need to?

• The next one is “If I’ve decided to stand by the people I love, it’s a choice. I could make a different decision.” Vs “At the end of the day, some things are right and some things are wrong. You don’t turn your back on the people you love.”

And my problem with that is… both. It is a choice, I could, theoretically, make a different one. But I don’t think it would be right to do so. I think that I would have to have an overwhelming reason to turn my back on my people. Someone cheating one me, or coming to hold beliefs antithetical to me (like if one of my SOs suddenly went TERFy or something), yeah, I would probably turn away, but it would hurt. But it’s still a choice I’ve made, either way.

I don’t think you’re a Snake.

• When you sit down and consider the terrifying lack of objective truth in our reality, how do you feel?

But what is truth? Does this mean truths about the universe, reality, physics, etc? I surely believe there is objective truth and structure there, though I doubt if humanity can discover it all. We are clever little apes, but its a big, weird universe.

Does it mean moral, philosophical truths? Moral relativism all the way babe! I mean, I’m an atheist, and I dont believe there’s one objective truth out there laid down by something supernatural, and I think it has to be something everybody comes to on their own as an accumulation of life experiences. I’ve got a few core things I think are important and the rest just… flows. I went with “the model in our heads is good enough,” because we’ve all got to settle for that in the end, I suppose.

It’s an interesting question and none of the answers quite fit for me. I think part of my trouble with the quiz is how abstract the questions are. “Do you like shortcuts?” Well, I dont know, quiz, what on earth is the CONTEXT? I understand why it’s written that way, but I do wish it was a bit more choose-your-own-adventure, handing me scenarios instead of philosophical abstraction.

You could be a Bird primary.

• When you’re not sure what’s the right thing to do, what do you turn to?

Research, and talking to my people, and then I think about it a bit. Or I just go with my gut and try to figure it out later. Either way I will spend a lot of time thinking about it, either trying to choose or trying to parse the choice I made.

Yeah, you might have to puzzle out which of these is the model yourself. This is a pretty subtle distinction. @wisteria-lodge and I both have posts about this. The appropriate tags on my blog are #ravenclaw primary and #gryffindor primary –if you can get Tumblr to function as intended (mobile search is very very flaky), those should get you the info you want, along with lots of accounts from other people Sorting themselves.

I’m starting to lean towards Bird for you, actually. But again, this is one pair that can be hard to tell apart, and sometimes it gets harder the closer you look at it. Maddening.

• Would you feel worse abandoning a stranger in need or turning your back on your closest friend?

Another one where I want context. If we’re talking identical scenarios – say, they’re drowning – I’d save my friend over someone else, except for maybe a small child… maybe? Honestly I’d probably try to save both and end up dying. But I do prioritize and I’d help my friend over a stranger, sans specific extenuating circumstances on the part of said stranger.

Once again, I don’t think you’re a Snake. I think you’re a Lion with loyalty baked into your intuition, or a Bird who’s picked up some Snakey philosophy.

• After spending some time trying to decide between two options, you are convinced that A is the right thing to do. The people around you, though, are just as convinced that it’s B. How do you feel?

Like I haven’t explained well enough, because they’re not getting why my opinion is the best one. Seriously though, it would make me wonder if I missed something, and I’d probably spend more time talking and researching to compensate. On the other hand… context… am I choosing colleges here (yes, folks, give me your input!) or whether or not to get an abortion (where I would value the input of those directly connected to me, but in the end it’s 100% my choice and those who disagree can eff off.)

When you’re choosing a college, you’re making a tactical decision, not a moral one. Gathering information from others is a Bird secondary thing: you’re doing research.

When you’re making a moral decision, that’s where your primary is involved, and here your answer is strongly Lion.

[I’m skipping a few of the next questions because they don’t give strong information for you specifically. Mostly what they get at is, you’re not a Badger, especially not an unhealthy Badger.]

• Does your internal moral compass know something you don’t?

Well… maybe? I feed a lot of stuff into my brain, and I don’t always know what I think until the words have fallen out of my mouth.

I gotta say, I’m a Bird primary and this sounds terrifying to me. Sometimes I need to write about something before my opinion fully forms, but I write and think so much because I don’t trust myself to talk about it until I’ve poked the issue a bunch on my own.

The only exception is that there are a few people who will take me at my word if I say I haven’t made up my mind about an issue yet, and will listen to me debate it with myself, without judging me for not immediately agreeing with the stance they’ve already taken.

Not everyone is the same, of course, but this answer is a very Lion one.

• If you get a chance to make the world a better place, you have to pursue it– even at the expense of your happiness and personal relationships. Do you think this is a true statement?

If I could throw myself into a volcano to fix everything that is wrong with the world, I would cry and hug everybody I love and regret the hell out of what I was about to do to them and then chuck myself in the damn volcano. I think not doing so would be more selfish.

That is... a totally different thing than this question asked! 😂

However, you've established in previous questions (some of which were cut for length) that you don't feel responsible for fixing/changing the world as a moral imperative, so your answer to this is actually more interesting, lol.

I don't know what it actually says about your Sorting, but I'm leaving it in because it made me laugh.

• Do you think you’re a good person?

Another easy one. Define good! I try to be, within my own belief systems. But I know a lot of people who would not think I’m a good person, because in their belief systems I’m not. I think some of those people are good people, I think some are bad people. Life is complex. I do my best.

This is a pretty Birdy answer. You keep going back and forth! :p I'm probably going to end up leaving you with an ambiguous answer, huh?

If you're a burned Lion, you sound awfully chill about it and you use your ridiculously strong Bird model in an unusually healthy way, for a Lion. Lots of Lions with Bird models really struggle to reconcile the different priorities.

If you're a Bird, you have a ridiculously strong Lion model that seems to actually override your Bird sometimes--but Bird systems are complex and can include weird recursive rules like "in this situation, this other Primary is more right so we use that." Also, your understanding of your system seems more hands-off than a lot of Birds.

• It’s important to do the right thing, even when it feels wrong.

…yeeeeeees…. but. Why does it feel wrong? I would want to investigate that before doing the thing, because if it feels wrong, maybe I’m missing something that my subconscious caught. If I investigate that and am sure about the right, I think… I don’t know. I’m not sure I could do something I felt super icky about even if it was quote-unquote right?

Oh hey, that's my approach to Lion primary too. One point for Bird + loud Lion model?

By now I bet you either have a strong feeling about which of the options I've narrowed down is you, or you'll think about it and go back and pore over the archives here and on the other Sorting blogs. And then you'll think about which approach you took and what kind of a hint that is, which is basically meta-meta-analysis. Except now I've written this and you've read it, so you'll be wondering how reading this will affect your judgment, so it's meta-meta-meta-analysis now.

...I'll stop. 😉

Secondaries

Future Paint here. Tumblr discarded the ENTIRE second half of my response to this post, because I saved it and then hit post without refreshing the page, so it posted the old version, because of course it did.

The tl;dr is that I believe anon to be a rapid-fire Bird secondary with a Lion model.

Brb while I reconstruct this post.

• Do you like going into situations with a plan?

• When you spot a metaphorical obstacle in your path, what do you do?

I would love to, and some situations I do– job interviews, for example – but sticking to a plan is not my strong suit. I can follow a schedule, to some degree, and I can kind of make plans… but then I trip up because how can I account for all contingencies? So I usually end up chucking the plan and YOLOing my way through something on a wave of accumulated knowledge and practice experience.

Not all Birds are big planners. The defining thing is preparation, and that can mean hoarding skills, knowledge, tools and contacts, not just making plans and decisions in advance. A Bird might, for example, decide not to schedule their vacation, and instead read a couple travel guides before they go but wing it when they're there.

This question is one of those where I’d love a less abstract scenario. Because… it depends. In a video game I’ll usually go around. In real life I’ll stop and panic for a minute or a day, then get up and deal with whatever needs dealing with. Unless its a super immediate issue, and then I’m in the middle of it already and have to put off my existential crisis until later (see prior example of “breaking up a dogfight by sticking my arm betwixt them,” see also “i spent much of my teens rolling out of bed at 3am and getting dressed to go help with a foal delivery and I didn’t really start thinking until like twenty minutes after we arrive and start dealing with shit.” Like, I was making decisions and thinking about things, but… its different. They’re not reasoned choices, they’re “this has to be dealt with NOW so do what you can and sort it out later.”)

• Do you like to gather all possible information before making a decision?

I guess I land on needing to understand your problems. You can’t put them off forever, but if you’ve got the time to do some research and contemplation aforehand, that seems like the better choice.

I need you all to know that I didn't cut this dogfight story--I'm not depriving you of whatever wild ride anon had, it's just as much of a Noodle Incident to me as it is to you. However. I don't think I need to argue *too* much that anon has a Lion model.

• Is knowing things or knowing people more useful when solving problems?

Another tricky one, because I think all the answers are correct. I do like to know what’s going on, but at a certain point that IS just stalling. But! It’s true that making decisions without understanding the full picture CAN really mess you up! But it’s ALSO true that, in many situations, I can change my mind if I learn more. I think I lean towards doing All the Research before making a choice, but I’m pretty sure that’s largely a procrastination tactic.

Birrrrd.

Both. Ideally, one would know a range of People who know/have many Things. I’m a big fan of bartering my own skills and knowledge in return for those of other people – for example I am the go-to research person, because I’m pretty good at sourcing info and condensing it into “here’s what you ought to know, here are your options, and here’s where you can go for more information,” a thing which I do freely for my family. In return they do things I can’t or don’t want to, like my taxes or getting things off high shelves or making travel plans or whatnot.

• When your plan fails, what do you do?

I’m better at accumulating knowledge than connections, but I think the right connections are more often useful than said knowledge.

As @wisteria-lodge has said before, some Birds accumulate contacts the same way they gather other tools. They like the be the person to say, "I know a guy."

You're VERY clearly not a Badger. I've cut all the questions that were like "do you do [Badger Thing]" and you were like "NO" so. I don't think you'll need convincing on this point lol

See above… panic then act, unless I don’t have time, in which case act and then panic. Solve the immediate problems, clear some space to breathe, then deal with the rest.

• Do you collect things? Facts, objects, hobbies?

……. do links full of interesting things I fully intend to get around to reading and understanding someday count?

…yeah, this is where I take a look around at my books, games, Interesting Facts, various half-compentent hobby activities, and enduring rage that I cannot possibly know All The Things because I am a mortal subject to the finite bounds of my life and acknowledge that yes. I hoard the SHIT out of both physical and intellectual stuff.

• Do you ever study or plan excessively for things that aren’t useful? Just for fun?

I’m torn between yes, and yes but they have a purpose. I do enjoy learning, i was always good in school, when I could be bothered to care. There are a few topics I enjoy for their own sake – language and history and anything world-building, really, anything to do with who we are and how we got there. But I won’t usually go in depth; most things I skim enough to understand the basic concept and move on, leaving those things as cocktail facts. “Oh, you’re an astronomer focusing on the moons of Jupiter? I read $JupiterFact a while back, what are your thoughts?”

• Do you act differently in different groups? Does it bother you, if you do?

Like, I dont care about the moons of Jupiter unless Titan or Europa or whichever turns out to have life, but space is neat and I’d be excited by that conversation and I’m intrigued by the concepts even if i don’t have the inclination to deep-dive the topic.

These 3 question/answer pairs explain pretty clearly why I think anon is a Bird secondary...

Not very often, and not much. I absolutely utilize code-switching, but I’ve felt bad about not opening my mouth at times when I worked at a place that assumed I was a good little Christian white girl… I’m usually too afraid of repercussions to say anything, but I remember my supervisor saying an atheist billboard was “too much” and I just said “no, of course it isnt” and we gave each other a look like “… well this isn’t good…”

• When solving problems, is your first reaction seeing what “tools” you have in your pockets?

In general though, I’ll use a mask when I need to but I’m just kinda… me.

...and this was what cleared up the Lion secondary model for me.

• When you are deciding how to react to a situation, are your choices most affected by internal (how you feel, what you think, what you want) or external inputs (what’s happening around you)?

…I’m really not sure. I don’t think i actively assess the tools, physical or mental, that I have to hand? I generally know if I DON’T have the resources to deal with something, but if i do have them, I just do the thing and don’t think about it.

That's normal. You just know your toolset well enough that you don't have to think about it. Some Birds don't, or their toolset is eclectic enough (or even granular enough; try remembering all the books you've read that are relevant to a given research paper topic) that they forget what they have.

I think if I knew what I felt, I’d be happy deciding based on internal things, but I don’t know that I trust myself enough.

This answer seems more relevant to your primary. Might be Burned Lion primary peeking through.

And that puts me at a hatstall again.

Sorry for the bombardment, but it seemed like this would be relevant. I know I prefer more info to less, when I’m trying to help someone figure things out, so… words. Many, many words. Thrown at you. Mea culpa.

Hope you don't mind my cherrypicking! This must have been a ton of work for you to write, and I threw a bunch of it away 😭

(Only sort of, I did read it all first.)

In conclusion

Primary: either burned Lion + healthy Bird model, or Bird + loud loud Lion model.

Secondary: rapid-fire Bird with Lion model.

Hope that helps!

#sortinghatchats #paint speaks #submission #gryffindor primary #ravenclaw primary #gryffindor primary model #ravenclaw primary model #burned gryffindor primary #ravenclaw secondary #gryffindor secondary model

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posedthreat · 4 years

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QUINN’S ROLL DURING INFINITY WAR & ENDGAME. Now, this is sort of going to encapsulate a little bit of everything that Quinn would be going through for that particular time - AND, I’m going to be throwing in things that I think would 100% happen but that I won’t be incorporating Officially bc they’d sort of detract from what other characters were doing. It’s kind of a ‘it’s not official but like if anyone ever wanted to write these things with me I 100% want to’. The easiest way I can think to explain it (and how I explain it to myself in my head), is that all of these things would be, theoretically, if Quinn actually was a part of the MCU, they are things that 1) his character would be involved in and what he would bring to the movies, OR, 2) “writer’s cutting room floor/editing room floor” type things, like ideas that writers might have had but scrapped in favor of going other routes, or cut for time. ANYWAY, LET’S GET ON TO THE PAIN.

We’re literally just going to start at the end of Infinity War, because that’s what REALLY matters here - and, point blank, Quinn both DOES and DOESN’T survive the snap. Sounds weird, but... Let’s go deeper. Quinn would have been in his suit in the battle in Wakanda, and - generally - I write the suit as enhancing his healing all the time, but working better when he’s actually inside of it. So. He’s in pain after the fight, which is weird, because he largely doesn’t feel pain - at least at that point in his life. He’s had the suit long enough that his pain receptors are so fried that it takes a genuinely massive injury in order for him to feel it. He acknowledges this is weird, but going up against Thanos was a massive undertaking that he’s never done before - it was a massive fight overall, so he sort of... writes it off. After all, he doesn’t generally worry about his own wellbeing. Like. At all. SO. He witnesses people being dusted. And the fact that these people are suddenly GONE takes precedent over the fact that he’s... in a moderate amount of pain.

Over the next five years, he... does what he can to help. But the pain after the battle never goes away, and in fact, steadily gets worse. And worse. But, in his own words, ‘everything is fucked’, so... He just does what he can to handle the pain. Takes ibuprofen with breakfast every day, and alcohol with dinner every night, he just... MAKES DO. By the third year of “the blip”, he’s wearing compression clothing underneath his normal clothing because it just seems to help, even if it’s a small amount, and he’s in such a massive amount of pain that he’s willing to do just about anything that helps.

By the end of that year, he’s beginning to get grey at the edges. And that only lasts a month before he’s literally falling apart, about to disintegrate into ashes just like everyone else did after the snap, and it’s only some quick thinking from Nat that gets him into his suit before he actually falls apart, and he lives in that suit until the “reverse snap” that brings everyone who was dusted back. He’s still in incredible pain, but the suit is enough, at least, to keep him from disappearing completely.

It’s the concept of the universe trying to take the life it was supposed to take in the snap, combined with the suit - being considered a biological life form that ISN’T supposed to disappear by whatever part of the universe was making that call - fighting tooth and nail in order to PREVENT that from happening.

At the end of the Endgame battle, he’s... dealing with a fair amount of trauma, just solely from the constant pain he’d been in before it all. And though he doesn’t hurt anymore, he’s practically terrified to get out of the suit, because there’s a part of him that thinks he’s going to fall to dust. He needs to be coaxed out (by who isn’t really all that important), and when he does, he all but collapses onto the ground, because... He’d been in the suit for... Pretty much an entire year, and he’s not used to being on his own two feet.

NOW, SOME THINGS THAT COULD HAVE HAPPENED AND THAT I’D TOTALLY WRITE OUT IF SOMEONE WANTED TO INDULGE ME...

You know the whole ‘Hulk putting on the infinity gauntlet’ thing? It’s just like... A concept... Of like maybe... ... Quinn getting out of his suit (bc the suit both is and isn’t a part of him so he couldn’t use it while in it) and literally beginning to fall apart, solely so he can do it because he firmly believes that with the state he’s in, if the power kills him, it’ll be okay - that everyone else being pretty much fully functional and without him is better than one of them being injured on TOP of him, who’s essentially using his suit as a life support system at that point.

#Mɪꜱꜱɪᴏɴ Rᴇᴘᴏʀᴛ:// headcanons — it was the summer of ‘69 #this Literally boils down to 'bc quinn doesn't actually get dusted making him one of the ones who is Supposed to-#literally does nothing other than give him trauma bc i'm a terrible person' BUT YA KNOW WHAT #i love it anyway

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crapitskizaru · 6 years

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Side Effects May Include: Devil Fruits Edition

🦖 Could I request some HCs on how devil fruits would affect the user’s sex lives? :o this is so vague but it’s so interesting to consider that I wanted to hear your opinions, haha

Warning: in-depth analysis of all the naturalistic filth that comes along in the topic of a human body and sexual encounters + freakishly long-ass post that includes most of the currently known devil fruits

Logia Types

Hie Hie no Mi (Kuzan)

❄️ since he’s such a chilly guy ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°), he’d certainly use his abilities to cool down the temperature of his body during any sexual encounter - Kuzan doesn’t really like all the heat and sweat that is produced during the steamy see what I did here? hilarious times in between him and his current lover

❄️ if his partner’s vagina is sore because of reasons varying from physical injuries to hardcore love-making, he’s the perfect guy to come up with a quick solution - a chilly, smooth dildo of his own making to ease out the pain pretty much torpedoes the problem

Goro Goro no Mi (Enel)

⚡️ this one’s a little tricky; since he can transform himself into pure electricity, he’d have to keep that in mind at all times, especially when reaching his climax - so that he wouldn’t electrocute his lover from too much excitement

⚡️ if he’s an extreme sucker for kinkplays, he could use the tiniest bit of his powers to either stimulate his partner or punish them for disobedience of any kind, provided they’re into it as well

⚡️ given that Enel can also use his skills to listen to the electrical sound waves in the air, he’d have an incredibly detailed perception of how his lover reacts to particular sex positions, angles of his thrusts and so on i honestly don’t know what to do with this information

Gasu Gasu no Mi (Caesar)

☁️ sex in the air?????

Magu Magu no Mi (Sakazuki)

🐶 this shit only serves him an inability to get too caught up in the moment, unless he wants this particular person to get burned alive during sex

🐶 so besides the obvious flaws, the only advantage I can think of is being able to serve as a human heater to his partner during particularly cold nights if only he would ever actually cuddle someone

Mera Mera no Mi (Acey & Saboo)

🔥 just as with Akainu, these bois will instantly heat up even their coldest partners - a lot of warmth and a lot of sweat-producing usually accompanies them during love-making sessions

🔥 might include the annoying issue of holes being burned right through their clothing whenever they get too fiery with the act - as well as the possibility of unintentionally starting a fire in the room

Moku Moku no Mi (Smoker)

🚬 I can easily imagine him using the ability of producing as much smoke as he fancies to blind his lover for maximized kinky submission experience

🚬 also, using the great speed with which all the smoke allows him to move in order to intensify the frequency of his thrusts - could it get any better?

Numa Numa no Mi (Caribou)

🛸 used for stabilizing his partner’s legs/waist/arms so that he can devote all of his attention towards pleasuring both of them, without having to worry about occupying his hands to hold them

🛸 also available for kinky use - all of that bondage gear could be replaced with those muddy serpents of his just perfect

🛸 provided he’s got a rather powerful dominance/daddy kink, Caribou could also create the bottomless swamps to trap his partner and make them beg for his cock

Pika Pika no Mi (Borsalino)

💥 reflecting himself into various positions to gain dominance? Heating his partner up? Providing enough room lighting? Sex at the speed of light? What?

Suna Suna no Mi (Crocodaddy)

🐊 trapping his lover in piles of quicksand for further teasing seems like a good enough idea to me - also, since he can crumble things to dust in literal seconds, stripping his partner down is never as quick as when it comes to this man

🐊 the ability to absorb any liquid makes cleaning up his cum from the drenched sheets a rather easy job that’s quite handy actually

Yami Yami no Mi (Blackbeard)

👺 the only use of this shit that I can think of is, again, blinding his partner and surrounding them with pure darkness, leaving them all hot and bothered in anticipation for his traitorous cock

👺 could also serve as a technique of pulling a person towards himself, like he did with Ace, but that’s just too scary to me, idk

Yuki Yuki no Mi (Monet)

💨 compressing her snow to different bondage gear, as well as cooling her partner down at particularly humid times - although I think it’d be hard for her to control the powers while being in a highly aroused state

Paramecia Types

Ato Ato no Mi (Jora)

🎨 courting her crushes with abstract art paintings, thank u very much

Awa Awa no Mi (Kalifa)

🛁 unlimited lube supplies

🛁 now that’s what I’m talking about

🛁 I can assure you, this woman would go all out with those bubbly powers - using it to turn her various kinks into reality

🛁 used for draining her partner’s energy to gain as much dominance over them as possible; also to clean up from all the bodily fluids that cover them after each round of sex

🛁 could come in handy to relax her partner and bring them floods of pleasure, often to the point of overstimulation

Baku Baku no Mi (Wapol)

🏰 no, I can’t do this

Bane Bane no Mi (Bell)

🛎 boing-boinging into his lover during sex??????

Bara Bara no Mi (Buggy D. Clown)

🤡 oh, this one’s good

🤡 this fruit allows him to use more dildos and plugs with his fingers than he could count on one hand - mainly because he’s got two im so funny

🤡 thrusting inside his partner and giving oral at the exact same time, because why not; the only requirement would be that his lover can’t get too grossed out by all of this dirty shit

Bari Bari no Mi (Bartolomeo)

💫 being able to make love to his partner against the barriers that he creates/creating surfaces to fuck on in places that no one sane enough would ever consider as suitable ones for having sex

Bata Bata no Mi (Galette)

😈 imagine how much fun this woman has in bed - being able to control and restrict anyone’s movements with those buttery thingies, she doesn’t even have to try much to be the dominant one in between the sheets

😈 also, consider this: butter-flavoured lube and unlimited + unbreakable flavoured condoms

Beri Beri no Mi (Very Good)

🍇 berry/sphere-shaped dildos??? incredible

Beta Beta no Mi (Trebol)

💧 if his partner has a vagina, he could control their discharge, as in the amount and its texture - what for, I have no idea

💧 he’d also be able to restrict his lover’s movements, as well as come up with new positions, since he can attach himself to any surface

💧 other use may be as a lube? although that’s pretty disgusting

Bisu Bisu no Mi (Cracker)

🍪 do you find yourself daydreaming about sweets when close to climaxing? Are you experiencing unexpected, overwhelming cravings during sex? Constantly hungry? Or simply bored with orgasms? Fear not! This man will supply you with floods of biscuits to munch on so that both of you will be pleasured

🍪 moving cookie dildos??

Doru Doru no Mi (Mr.3)

🕯 various bondage constructions made with wax?

Fuku Fuku no Mi (Kin’emon)

👙 imagine how many sets of lingerie this man would create for his partner to wear - a literal dream come true when it comes to this pervert

Fuwa Fuwa no Mi (Shiki)

🦁 advanced sex positions in the air/rotating his lover according to the man’s whims

Giro Giro no Mi (Violet)

🌹 this woman would bring her lover as much pleasure as possible while also making their deepest kinks and desires come true

🌹 she’s also able to read which positions are the most enjoyable for her partner and what they secretly think of her sex skills kinda scary if you ask me

Gura Gura no Mi (Whitebeard)

🌎 what may be possible when it comes to this fruit is creating the tiniest vibrations in order to stimulate different areas of a human body and bringing powerful orgasms, although that’s just too good to be true

Hana Hana no Mi (Robin-chwan)

🌷 giving oral and being able to grope her partner, both at the same time, seems like a pretty good use of this devil fruit

🌷 slight possibility of sprouting as many pair of legs as she fancies and ability to take theoretically unlimited partners at the same time?

Horu Horu no Mi (Ivankov)

👅 starting the love-making session while having a dick and ending it with a vagina? Why not?

👅 imagine how much Ivankov could arouse their partner by increasing their levels of dopamine/serotonin/testosterone/estrogen, according to their desires

Hoya Hoya no Mi (Charlotte Daifuku)

🏺 gains +1 spectator, if he’s an exhibitionist ;)

Kage Kage no Mi (Gekko Moria)

🕳 could have multiple partners, exclusively at his service?

Kilo Kilo no Mi (Miss Valentine)

🎀 would totally be able to pin her lover to the bed, preventing them from flipping on top of her - what an easy way to gain dominance, although she’d have to be extra careful not to crush them well

Kobu Kobu no Mi (Bello Betty<3)

🌌 her partner receives almost overwhelming waves of encouragement, whether in order to praise them or to push them to keep going - this woman certainly doesn’t take sex lightly

🌌 is able to turn even the most insecure lovers into confident sex-animals in the matter of seconds

Kuri Kuri no Mi (Charlotte Opera)

🍦 moisture! Lube! Food kink! Quick snack! Fluffy surface! Whatever you want!

Mane Mane no Mi (Bon Clay)

🦄 ever wished it was your crush instead of ą random hook-up? Problem solved indefinitely~

Mato Mato no Mi (Vander Decken)

🐍 he could try aiming dildos at his partner from afar? Why did I even think of this?

Memo Memo no Mi (Charlotte Pudding)

🎞 rewatching her and her partner’s favorite sex moments whenever she wants, almost like a portable(?), realistic porn movie

🎞 being able to erase all of the sexual encounters during which she either didn’t enjoy herself enough or performed badly and doesn’t want her lover to remember it terrifying

Mero Mero no Mi (Hancock)

🎇 keeps perverts at distance

Mochi Mochi no Mi (Charlotte Katakuri)

🍩 food kink

🍩 is able to restrain his lover’s movements so that they have to plead for his cock - good method whenever Mochi’s in a dominant mood~

🍩 food kink

🍩 it also allows him to create as much mochi as he desires in order to either lick it off of his partner’s body or make them lick him clean

Nagi Nagi no Mi (Rosie)

🍰 his lover can be as loud as they want - screams, pleads, moans and groans of pleasure - nothing will be audible outside of his sphere, which comes in handy when he just wants to have a quickie and Doffy’s in the room next to them

Netsu Netsu no Mi (Charlotte Oven)

🌡 hot dick

Nikyu Nikyu no Mi (Bartholomew Kuma)

🐾 useful when you never want to see your partner again

Ope Ope no Mi (Trafalgar the Fucking Law)

⛄️ now that’s the kinkiest shit

⛄️ just visualize all of the fucked up poses and positions he could slice his partner into, and then multiply it by Law’s level of sadism - great

⛄️ this man’s totally able to make his partner watch from afar as he plays and fucks their body the way he likes

⛄️ could he slice his dick off and use it as a dildo though?

Ori Ori no Mi (Hina)

⛓ brings hardcore bondage to a completely new level (:

Pero Pero no Mi (Charlotte Perospero)

🍭 what else if not creating lickable, candy dildos - and just like Mochi, he loves to lick his own candy from his lover’s body

🍭 also various candy creations to restrain his lover with

Wara Wara no Mi (Basil Hawkins)

🃏 cute little voodoo dolls to cuddle!

Ito Ito no Mi (Donquixote Doflamingo)

🍨 imagine how incredibly kinky this man can get with his powers

🍨 holding his partner in the air with those strings? Leaving small cuts all over their body, if they agree to that, edging and marking?

🍨 also using it as bondage gear and maximalyzing his Daddy authority/dom position, since his partner can’t even wriggle so that they won’t get cut

Bastard Bastard no Mi (Eustass Kid)

🔥 manipulating the restricting bondage gear/handcuffs/jewelry of his partner’s according to his whims and wishes

🔥 also knife play mastered to perfection?

Zoan Types

🦖 every furry’s heaven, thank u

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higuchimon · 6 years

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[fanfic] Where I Tell You: chapter 5

Yuuri tilted his wings as he flew, soaring over the island, enjoying the feel of the wind against his scales and blowing through his hair. After two weeks of daily intense care, his new scales finished coming in, and he didn’t have to worry about the itch anymore. That made flying just that much better, and he savored being back in the air.

Picking Dennis was a good choice, he mused, circling over and keeping an eye out for other air traffic and the way the air currents flowed. Out here there wasn’t much to get in his way but he didn’t want to lose his focus and find himself tangled with someone else.

That had happened once. He’d had to card the offender, of course, which had done wonders for his reputation, and annoyed him for days afterward, mostly because people kept staring at him in awe.

And fear. He couldn’t forget fear. He’d rather liked that part. Seeing people terrified of him thrilled him right down to his core and he would go out of his way to terrify anyone that he could.

Dennis didn’t look like he was afraid of me. He’d been aware of that on a low level ever since the day that they’d met. Dennis seemed wary, of course, which was to be expected, but he’d listened to everything Yuuri had to say and had been focused enough to obey his instructions.

And he really did so well with Yuuri’s wings. Really, the best wing-tender Yuuri had ever heard of, and he wasn’t going to let anyone else get hold of him. There weren’t many others who Dennis could take care of anyway, given that silly allergy. There were perhaps thirty or forty duelists with wings at Academia and the vast majority of them had the traditional bird-like wings of feathers. Those who had dragon or bat wings – like Yuuri – were in the minority, with a few who had fairy wings and one or two with metallic wings.

All of which meant that whatever else Dennis was born to do, he was born to tend to Yuuri’s wings, and Yuuri wouldn’t ever let anyone who he considered his get away from him.

I don’t think I’ll need to chain him up, though. Pity for that, almost. He’d somewhat wanted to have a way to test the restraints he had and make certain that his theoretical future possession couldn’t get out of them. Dennis was too tricky and far too slick for ordinary manacles to hold him, though.

Add in the fact that Yuuri hadn’t ruled out taking a Winged One of his own as his future possession, and since Dennis didn’t have wings, he couldn’t fully test the bonds. A bit annoying overall but nothing that he couldn’t work with. He’d just have to pick a Winged One to test it eventually.

He could do that. There were plenty of them and some of them skimmed the line of failure and success. The Professor would allow him this. He’d been very good.

Yuuri circled, casting his eyes downward to the splashing waves and rolling tides. He didn’t often do this, but he did need something to eat. He didn’t really want to wait around for the kitchen to send something to him, either, and he wasn’t sure as of yet how good of a cook Dennis might turn out to be. All of that boiled down to one thing: he needed to get his own food and cook it himself.

It wouldn’t at all be the first time he’d made his own food. He didn’t always trust the kitchens to have what he wanted or to get it to him when he wanted it. So now he searched, checking for one of his favorites.

Being able to fly made acquiring certain foods that much easier. He didn’t have to wait around with a rod and bait. He spied something long and silvery flashing by under the water and dashed downward, seizing the fish and tossing it to the nearest stretch of dry land. While it flopped and gasped, Yuuri circled and took another turn around, catching two more before he headed in with his prey.

They were very big fish; even after being deboned and the parts he didn’t want disposed of, he suspected the three fish would provide enough for at least two people. Or one person and leftovers.

Yuuri eyed his catch for a few moments, then hurried on to his quarters, where he could send a message. He usually didn’t mind eating by himself, but Dennis really had done such a good job taking care of his wings. He should get a reward for that. And as much as Yuuri wanted to believe it, just letting Dennis live wasn’t a good enough reward.

By the time the knock came at his door, he’d almost finished cooking. As soon as Dennis entered, he drew in a breath and blinked.

“Fish?” Another breath, and he looked a bit more startled this time. “Aji-furai?”

“Yes.” Yuuri settled the food on the table, giving it a very proud look. Not only had he caught the fish himself, but he’d grown the cabbage himself as well, and made the sauce personally. “You don’t have anything against it, do you?”

Dennis shook his head. “Of course not. I didn’t know you cooked.”

“You have no idea of what you don’t know about me.” Yuuri allowed a small smirk at that, gesturing for Dennis to take his place. Yuuri sat in his own chair, one of those made for the Winged Ones, his wings folded up on his back. All those with wings had quarters somewhat larger than the standard, just to make room for their wings. His were even larger than that: he was Yuuri, after all.

He thought he spied a careful look from Dennis. And if that were so, he relished it all the more.

Everything was that much better as Dennis started eating. Yuuri had particular tastes to his food and had taught himself to cook to satisfy those. There were still times he took what the kitchen had to offer but when it came to fish, he preferred his own methods to any other.

Dennis sampled everything with care and caution, until about halfway through the meal, when he really started to eat with gusto, eyes lighting up more with every bit of food down his mouth. Yuuri smiled to himself. He’d never shared what he made with someone else, but if they reacted like this, he might have to consider doing it again.

Or at least inviting Dennis over a little more often. Dennis was his wing-tender. He should get something suitable in return, and decent meals made by Yuuri were more than enough for that.

Almost as soon as he’d finished, Dennis glanced at him, a bit of wariness in his eyes now. “Did you hear? The final plans for the invasion are being sorted out.”

Oh, yes, he’d heard. He already had his special assignment: a spy would be sent into the other dimensions and once the spy found those particular people that the Professor wanted, then Yuuri would come along and take them. It sounded a little dull for his tastes, but with the prospects of battle and the potential for finding that toy he wanted, perhaps it could be better than he thought.

“I found out my assignment.” Dennis prodded at the remains of his food. “I have to learn XYZ summoning. I’m going there.”

To Be Continued

Notes: Aji-furai (or aji fry) involves frying horse mackerel fish in bread crumbs and serving it with raw shredded cabbage and tonkatsu sauce. I couldn’t resist having my sadistic cabbage eat cabbage.

Also, doing a small change to the word count/chapter count at the top, mainly so I don’t have to go back and edit every chapter once I reach the ending. Eventually I’ll adjust the listing on every one of my fics. For now, just the ones I’m regularly updating.

#fanfic #higuchimon writes #ygo arc-v #yuuri (arc v)#dennis macfield #chapters: where i tell you #series: beat of wings #au: wings

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afriendlyirin · 7 years

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7 and 11!

7. Is there anything you used to like but can’t stand now?

“Can’t stand” is a strong term, but I definitely mellowed on Homestuck in its final years. The endless left-field twists and “everybody’s dead LOL J/K” got tiring after a while.

I guess something similar can be said for my experience with The Legend of Zelda. I grew up on the Game Boy games, which were pretty good, and greatly enjoyed the dark stories of Ocarina of Time, Majora’s Mask, and The Wind Waker. But then the writer left and everything since has taken an abrupt left turn into zanyville and generic fantasy cliche, which disappoints me. I haven’t seen Breath of the Wild yet, though, maybe it’s better?

Edit: Oh, Fallen London. I liked it back when it was one self-contained thing and not a cosmological mystery epic spread across a dozen different games and premium content storylines that you have to constantly cross-reference to have any idea of what’s going on. What little I can comprehend seems kinda lackluster. It seems like the age-old problem of writers providing good mystery and atmosphere and then discovering they can’t deliver when it comes to resolution.

11. Is there an unpopular character you like that the fandom doesn’t? Why?

Princess Bubblegum (Adventure Time). I am so sick of all the fic and theories about how she’s secretly super evil and is going to be the ultimate villain of the show. I actually find her really fascinating as an example of alien, non-human morality and sensibilities. She’s obviously trying, even if she fails a lot of the time. Fandom may have mellowed on her now that she’s gotten a redemption arc, though, I haven’t checked recently.

Alphys (Undertale) for pretty much the same reasons. Everything about her was super relatable and it is a little disturbing to see how much everyone thinks she’s an irredeemable monster crying crocodile tears. People sure are bad at reading characters with mental illness and sure are quick to judge female characters, aren’t they.

Aranea Serket (Homestuck). You may notice a theme here. She wasn’t the greatest person but at least she tried, unlike all those other idiots. I particularly liked that she was the only character in the entire work who actively tried to screw destiny instead of capitulating to fate.

Gina Linetti (Brooklyn Nine Nine). Don’t think I don’t see y’all lapping up comedic sociopaths doing truly awful stuff when they’re men, but the moment the archetype gets applied to a woman suddenly everyone has to take it totally seriously and realistically. No. She’s hilarious and, frankly, nicer than a lot of other comedic sociopaths who do cross the line for me.

Maha Sonorie (Unsounded). I couldn’t even be surprised when people decided she was evil before she’d even shown up, when all we had to go off on her was the ravings of a zealot spewing hateful propaganda. Can we judge powerful women based on what they actually do instead of deciding they’re evil from day 1 and willfully misreading every single thing they do to conform to that interpretation, please. I think she’s a very cool and nuanced depiction of a leader under the stress of inheriting a huge mess and trying to make her own solution to the problem even when it makes her unpopular, and I’m curious to see her full plan play out. Can’t be any more evil than Kima “Let’s Nuke ‘Em” Bell’s.

I want to also include Rose Quartz (Steven Universe), but the season 5 twists have... changed things. I’ll just say I really liked the old Rose, for the reasons mentioned in that post.

Combo breaker: Ganondorf (The Legend of Zelda), specifically Ganondorf as a villain. I’ve talked about this before. Practically everyone seems to portray him as sympathetic, misguided, or even a woobie, but I prefer the terrifying, remorseless tyrant he was in Ocarina of Time. People are quick to declare him as stale and overused in canon, but I disagree; it’s more that canon refuses to use him in interesting ways. I still think he has potential for interesting villain roles: he is actually an extremely intelligent and patient guy while still being incredibly petty and narrow-minded, which I think can lead to interesting setups, especially if you go with the “this has been going on for centuries and he remembers everything” interpretation.

I think I could theoretically roll with turns-good Ganondorf – anything can be done well – but I haven’t yet seen anything that convincingly bridges the gap from his canon incarnation. Everyone seems to start at the assumption that he would eventually get tired of fighting and no, guys, sorry, that’s super OOC. He is a petty dick. Embrace his dickishness!

Some fandoms/characters may have slipped my mind, feel free to follow up with specifics.

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craftingthedigitalimage · 6 years

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Learning Report

Crafting the Digital Image was interesting and exciting, but also at times challenging module for me to study in my first year. A report by the National Committee of Inquiry in Higher Education states that in the UK ‘overall, just over a third (36%) of all students had chosen their course mainly because they liked it and the subjects that it covered.’ (Callender, n.d.). Personally, I think this is terrifying statistics and I fall into those 36% of students that chose to study something that they like. However, despite the fact that I chose something that I knew I liked, at the start of the year I had no prior knowledge or practical skills in terms of digital media. Not only that I was unfamiliar with the theoretical part of the studies, I have also never worked with professional equipment, so I did not know anything about available settings, good framing, lighting etc. First sessions of the module left me clueless and I started wondering about my further progress in the module.

David Buckingham states that ‘Young people are frequently described as a ‘digital generation’, a generation defined in and through its experience of digital computer technology.’ (Buckingham and Willett, 2013). I kept a blog to support and store my worth throughout the year and although we were given an option to keep a physical notebook as well, I chose to create a blog because I feel more comfortable working digitally. An ability to keep everything in one place regardless of what it is – a sketch, video/audio file or research I have done helped me to stay organised. It can be argued that this particular choice of mine is a confirmation of so-called digital generation theory existence. However, (Nicky Hockly 2011) argues that even though young people may have fewer barriers in terms of using digital technology than older people, that does not mean that younger users interact with the technology more effectively. He states that key skills of effective digital technology use such as a general understanding the working principals, filtering online information etc., do not come automatically and must be learned regardless whether you grow up surrounded by technology or discovered it on your mid ages. As mentioned, when I started my studies I had no prior knowledge in the digital field and with the progress of the academic year I was introduced not only with theories, techniques and terms which I was unfamiliar with, but also, we started working with to me completely new software and that only proves that digital skills need to be learned.

In the module, I was presented with a brief history of still and moving images. This was something new to me and fascinating. I found it amazing how fast technology progresses. For instance, from painted pots turned around and around to create movement in ancient Egypt, progressed to slide projectors and to optical devices such as the Thaumatrope* or Zoetrope** to what we have today. Because this brief introduction to the history of the moving image left me curious and made me realise that I am generally interested in the video industry and editing, I did some research on my spare time and chose to read ‘In the Blink of an Eye’ by (Walter Murch 2001). After reading this book I gained a deeper understanding of editing footage then and now. Not only the evolution in the technology itself that left me amazed but perhaps the change that it made on the creation process and the realisation of how much more simplified it is now.

Another interesting thing about this module to me was that very shortly after the start of the academic year I have realised that I was not paying attention to my everyday activities. An online survey done by (Statista 2017) shows that an average person in 2017 spent about 135 minutes a day on various social media sites. It is fair to say that I spend a similar amount of time on social media daily as well. However, Crafting the Digital Image module made me realise that I have never bothered to analyse the visual content presented to me, for example, on Instagram. Therefore, a need for ideas in this module and a given better understanding of how visual content is made encouraged me to question, for instance, how one or the other photograph is made or what framing or editing techniques are used on some video that I saw online. After a while of briefly analysing the visual content over different online platforms, I have come to a conclusion that an idea that is fully original does not exist. An inspiration is taken from something already seen, later developing it into something different. As Mark Twain once said ‘There is no such thing as a new idea. It is impossible. We simply take a lot of old ideas and put them into a sort of mental kaleidoscope.’ After making this implication I decided to change my social media feeds by following pages or people that I could potentially get inspiration from, to use the time, I spend on social media productively without even realising it. But then what I found quite challenging was documenting it all, even with just brief notes sometimes I had no ability to document all these ideas that were given to me by other people work constantly showing up on my news feed. I switched my blog from WordPress to Tumblr as a solution, because Tumblr has easy to use app that does not require internet connection to make drafts. This way I could easily note my thoughts everywhere I go.

My decision to transform my social media feed into personal inspiration source came in handy when we were given the first semester brief. We were given a theme, specifically to create a campaign to promote Worcester city, and five different options, of which we had to pick two. I chose to do five photographs and a timelapse because I have taken photos before, the process of creating timelapse I briefly knew as well, aside from the editing, so I felt more comfortable and confident about it. I struggled with ideas at first, but then saw a double exposure on social media and decided to do it, because I already had an idea for the timelapse and thought it ties in together nicely. Another challenged that I faced with this brief was that I was not familiar with any video editing software, so I had to work harder to understand it and get used to it but eventually, I got the hang of Adobe Premiere Pro. For the second semester brief, it was slightly different. We were asked to create a video for a quote of our choice. It was easier to generate and select ideas, also I already had an idea how to deal with this type of tasks, so I was better at being organised and managing my time. I was not familiar with After Effect software but because I already used Premiere Pro it was easier to understand After Effects too. However, I faced different challenges. I have found that for me as a wheelchair user sometimes framing can be tricky because most of the time I am lower than eye-level height, but in most cases, this is quite an easy fix, I can always sit somewhere higher or attach a camera to a high tripod. What I found not as easy is getting access to places. Sometimes it was just generally inaccessible, other times I was not given permission to shoot footage in certain places. I have also noticed while working on both briefs that finding models can be as hard as getting permissions. Because I chose a motivational quote for my second brief, it gave me a lot of creative freedom in terms of footage, so not being able to film in some places did not become a problem that would ruin my whole piece of work. It challenged me to rethink my ideas, put aside something that I cannot do and change it into something better.

In conclusion, Crafting the Digital Image module was exciting and challenging at the same time. I have improved my organisation and research skills because of keeping a blog, learned how to generate and develop ideas. Gained knowledge about the history of creative media and understood how impactful visual content can be. Realised the importance of details. Understood and learned to apply theories and techniques such as the Rule of Thirds, Mise-en-scene, framing etc. Practically went through stages of production and location planning, had a chance to work in photography, video and sound studios, use professional software and equipment. All of that gave me a good understanding in what environment I might work after graduation which I think is really useful because I got a chance to try lots of different things that I could do as a job. At times Crafting the Digital Image was fun, at times challenging, it was not only beneficial academically but also to me as a person.

Bibliography:

Buckingham, D. and Willett, R. (2013). Digital generations. 2nd ed. London, New York: Routledge, p.1.

Callender, C. (2018). Report 2 - Students' motives, aspirations and choices. [online] Leeds.ac.uk. Available at: https://www.leeds.ac.uk/educol/ncihe/r2_021.htm [Accessed 8 May 2018].

Hockly, N. (2011). The digital generation. ELT Journal, 65(3), p.324.

Mark-twain.classic-literature.co.uk. (n.d.). Mark Twain - Mark Twain, a Biography volume III Part 1 1900-1907 Page 103. [online] Available at: https://mark-twain.classic-literature.co.uk/mark-twain-a-biography-volume-iii-part-1-1900-1907/ebook-page-103.asp [Accessed 8 May 2018].

Murch, W. (2001). In the blink of an eye. 2nd ed. Los Angeles: Silman-James Press.

Statista. (2017). Global time spent on social media daily 2017 | Statista. [online] Available at: https://www.statista.com/statistics/433871/daily-social-media-usage-worldwide/ [Accessed 7 May 2018].

#report

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leftysmambosal · 7 years

Text

A Week Inside WeLive, the Utopian Apartment Complex That Wants to Disrupt City Living

Katelyn Perry

WeWork is branching out into housing, but can it actually change the way we live?

Do you ever get the feeling that you’re just slightly more alone than everyone else? Like when you’re scrolling through Instagram, and you get that sinking sensation that you’re missing out on some kind of deep human fulfillment? It’s not a specific pang of FOMO; it’s a broader suspicion that your social life would be somehow richer, more populated with actual humans, with fewer nights eating takeout and watching Netflix—if only something changed.

Well, that’s the feeling the “co-living” start-up WeLive believes it has devised the cure for. Or at least that was my takeaway the first time I found myself watching GIFs of happy millennials hugging one another and laughing on its website. WeLive is functionally an apartment building, but with all the amenities listed on the standard Silicon Valley rider. It runs on a very modern set of principles in the urban housing market: The units come fully furnished; there’s a laundry room and a yoga studio. But more, there are the things you might ordinarily need to leave your apartment for—an espresso bar and trendy eateries and happy hours. Most critically, WeLive comes stocked with neighbors who intend to become your real-life human friends. This one building, your home, has everything you could ever need, is the idea, including a built-in community.

From afar, WeLive seemed to be one part social experiment, one part endless summer. It was a market-savvy effort to solve the digital-age loneliness that registers as a low-level yet omnipresent white noise in the lives of young urbanites.

The company has positioned itself as a “physical social network”—an IRL antidote to the dislocation caused by doing so much socializing online instead of in person. WeLive wanted to tackle what sociologist Marc Dunkelman, author of The Vanishing Neighbor, calls the “crisis of urban anonymity.” Dunkelman thinks that people living in cities have lost their sense of community. That people shouldn’t accept as a fact of life that they share a roof with total strangers and never, over the course of months or years, learn more than a name and some basic information—if that even.

WeLive’s pitch dovetailed effectively with this theoretical problem among millennials. That’s why its core idea—What if you really knew your neighbors?—held so much appeal to me. WeLive’s co-founder, Miguel McKelvey, thinks WeLive could provide the physical context for community building that we’ve been lacking. “Religion is no longer a connection point for most people,” he told me. “Our communities were built on coming together in physical locations once a week or twice a week. These institutions have dissipated.” WeLive, consequently, was seeking to fill that void.

Last spring, I couldn’t stop thinking about WeLive. I recognized the appeal in my own life, knowing as I did that the further I climbed into adulthood, the fewer of my friends I saw in person. Half-hearted social-media use had become the default way to keep up with people as professional demands and significant others crowded out the abundant and untethered time of our early 20s. I wasn’t wallowing in aching solitude, but I couldn’t help feeling more alienated the deeper we dug into our phones, watching one another live our best lives on highly edited Instagram feeds.

Something about that idea and the solution that WeLive provided—the social engineering of its bold experiment—seemed radical and appealing, or at least cynically (and smartly, from a business standpoint) tapped into the insecurities of so many people my age. Sure, the incessant networking—while doing laundry or riding the elevator—and the dominance of a social scene fueled by free alcohol might instill some ennui of its own after a while. But I was willing to accept neighbors like these as the cost of living in a true millennial utopia.

So last spring I did what anyone as intrigued and terrified by the idea of “co-living” might do: I packed a bag, rented a room, and moved in.

You can show up to your apartment, as the WeLive people like to emphasize, "with just a suitcase." It comes pre-stocked with books and tchotchkes.

WeWork/Lauren Kallen

Amenity-wise, the place was pretty sweet. The Studio+ at the 110 Wall Street location that I booked for ten days—which usually costs $3,520 a month, a rate higher than StreetEasy’s median rent for studios in the financial district (insane as that is)—was set up with everything I could think of. It had Wi-Fi, pots and pans, bedsheets, towels, toiletries, and even books on the shelves (Joe Gould’s Teeth—a book about a homeless man—struck me as a weird choice). The Studio+ was a bit of a narrow corridor, yes, but personal space in the building was sacrificed in favor of shared luxury spaces: high-quality kitchens where guests are encouraged to cook, a cozy wood-paneled bar, a terrace with two hot tubs, a workout studio, a laundry room with an arcade and Ping-Pong table, a cocktail bar in the basement, and a lobby with distressed couches and a barista making complimentary cortados. Monthly cleanings were included. Cable packages were taken care of. Downstairs was an Honesty Market stocked with essentials if you ran out of TP in the middle of the night or got a hankering for Ben & Jerry’s. I thought it was remarkable how much trust they gave “members,” until I noticed a security camera above the payment iPad, watching closely.

Then there were the people. Early on, I couldn’t quite tell if they were being genuinely friendly or if they felt compelled to enthusiastically playact the role of “neighbor from the future.” On my first night, I wandered down to the laundry room—the de facto equivalent of the common room at Hogwarts—and played Big Buck Hunter on a vintage arcade terminal. There I met and chatted with an attractive young Parsons School of Design student and a chiseled banker from the UK who were both actually doing laundry. I poured myself a beer from the keg while they went on about how great WeLive was and how much I would like it. If there was a strain of earnestness to the whole exchange—a sense that I’d agreed to sleep in a tower where everyone was drinking the citrus-infused Kool-Aid and wearing matching T-shirts with the “Live Better Together” slogan tagged on the front—it didn’t bother me. At least not at first.

The vibe was carefully curated. WeLive is, after all, an offshoot of co-working behemoth WeWork, reportedly the third-biggest start-up in the U.S., with a $20 billion valuation. In just eight years it opened more than 200 locations in 20 countries. WeWork is known for building a “culture” of its own, in part by plying employees who stay late with free drinks and frequent parties. “They want it to be your life,” one former WeWork employee told me. “Everyone there is under 30, hot, and down to party.”

WeLive is perfect for a German consultant on a three-month project–but it’s expensive. WeWork Corp.

It’s clear WeLive has imported some of that vibe to reach a similar target demographic. “People obviously compare it to a college dorm,” a member and WeWork employee named Jordan Niemeyer said. I’d been living at WeLive for a few days at this point—drinking as many free cortados and beers as I could—when I met Jordan at a party on the terrace. “But show me a college dorm like this,” he said. “I wanna go there.”

As if on cue, someone handed Jordan an open bottle of champagne. He was a thirty-something former hedge-funder who’d lived at WeLive’s Wall Street location since it opened for beta testing in 2016, and he quickly became, in my eyes, the WeLive spirit animal. Before I’d even taken a free yoga class I could tell that the place was a haven for people who, as they get into their late 20s and early 30s, didn’t want to give up the kinetic, optimism-fueled party culture of being young in a city. Alongside that crowd, though, were some young families, some students still in college, even a few retirees eager to be closer to the action. The breakdown skewed male and white, but not in a super discouraging way. Lots of skin tones and nationalities were represented.

But the funny part about living inside a techno-utopia is that most of the time you’re actually just doing regular stuff. Sleeping. Scrambling to get out the door in the morning. Maybe throwing together a meal at night (but more often ordering takeout) and, yes, watching Netflix. The one thing that makes it completely different from every other apartment building I’ve seen: WeLive has its own internal app on which members can post announcements or complaints on something called the Buzz page. (“Anyone have a screwdriver and hammer that my roommates can borrow?”) It’s part roommate text thread, part coffee-shop corkboard, but the effect is that even when you leave the building, you have a digital connection tethering you to it. The app, like the meme posters adorning the walls (“Home Is Where the WiFi Is”) and all the WeLive messaging in general, enforced the tone of the place—a superficial sense of humor dressed up in playful graphic art that belied a deeper earnestness and the technocratic kernel at the heart of the business. I’d seen this kind of start-up-y subterfuge parodied on HBO’s Silicon Valley, but I’d never lived inside of it.

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After I’d settled into a routine at my new apartment, I decided it was time to actually leave the building and head uptown to the headquarters to meet one of the founders. Miguel McKelvey looks like a bear that got really into CrossFit, tall and bearded, with a warm, disarming disposition underneath all the tech jargon. I went in still under the impression that WeLive was a trial balloon, sent up to check the weather on this new housing trend called co-living. It had competition in that field. A mess of other start-ups are jostling to corner that market—like Ollie’s all-inclusive tower in Manhattan, Common’s intentional living in various Brooklyn brownstones, and Nook’s human-storage facility in Oakland. But WeLive was convinced, because of existing relationships with building owners around the world, that it had the upper hand.

The typical resident, McKelvey says, is an “entrepreneur looking for a noncommittal way to try out whatever new project he or she is working on and not have to sign a lease.” WeLive, McKelvey feels, is perfect for the itinerant tech worker of this new borderless economy. But co-living was only part of the story for him. As we started discussing WeWork’s longer-term ambitions—expansion into more cities (it already has D.C.; Seattle is next) but also into other industries like education and fitness—I realized that I’d underestimated the extent of what the company was pursuing. WeLive was just one piece in a much larger play.

“When the idea of ‘We’ came in,” McKelvey told me, “it started as a ‘WeBlank: WeWork, WeLive, WeSleep, WeEat.’ That was the premise at the very start. Our aspiration is to be a holistic support system or lifestyle solution for people who are interested in being open and connected.”

A “holistic support system”—frighteningly Digital Age as that sounds—is the total infrastructure of a human life. Here’s a helpful thought experiment for conceptualizing the grand scheme: What if a single company sanded off all the hard edges in life? What if you never had to search for an apartment on Craigslist again? What if you never had to wait for the cable guy, either? Or find a health-care plan on the open exchange? What if it was all just…there? You join the global network, and anywhere you go there are hardwood floors, good coffee, fast Wi-Fi, and, most important, like-minded friendly people interested in engaging and working alongside you. The things people used to have to piece together themselves (apartment, office, insurance, gym membership) would now be packaged and delivered by one provider. A few months after McKelvey and I talked, WeWork opened a fitness and wellness space called Rise by We. Later it announced plans to open elementary schools for young entrepreneurs. It was all happening.

Soon you’ll be able to “feel like you’re staying within your community, within the network, wherever you are,” McKelvey said. “It never feels like it’s holding you back. It’s just always there. It always works.”

The WeThing, then, was a globe-spanning network of cocoons, all sharing the positive vibes of productivity, a frictionless existence where you never have to deal with practical inconveniences or shortages of friends or the feeling of loneliness. And where everyone wears the same T-shirt.

"Sometimes it just feels good to succumb to the niceties and convenience. Even if, in the back of your mind, you know you’re ceding something valuable."

The majority of start-ups these days make a business out of solving one very specific problem. WeWork belongs to the much smaller and potentially more lucrative class of businesses trying to solve literally every problem they can, the way that Amazon will sell you a new 4K television and, if you subscribe to Prime, brand-new content to watch on it.

“When we imagine a future for both WeWork and WeLive and the other things that we’re doing, it really is about unlocking people,” McKelvey told me. In tech-speak, that means it’s setting out on a conquest of Napoleonic scale for a monopoly over the entire breadth of its customers’ primary needs. In theory, I’m repulsed by the idea of being “unlocked” in any fashion, and yet I’m clearly a total sucker for it, too—as proven by the fact that I couldn’t resist moving in, that I gleefully partook of the free coffee and beer, and that when they screened a Star Wars marathon in the lobby, I thought about skipping work. The most successful businesses know what we want and how to give it to us. And sometimes it just feels good to succumb to the niceties and convenience. Even if, in the back of your mind, you know you’re ceding something valuable.

Intellectually, I like the idea of living a life with minimal possessions, moving constantly between cities, confident that I’ll have a welcoming network wherever I go (as long as I don’t stray too far). It’s refreshingly un-American—not focusing all your energy toward owning your own castle. And it plays into a new aspirational aesthetic that values materialism less and focuses instead on experiences, travel, wellness, and professional fulfillment. Of course that’s appealing. Who wants to wait for the cable guy? Or wait out a lease when you’re ready to move?

Happy hours hosted in the Whiskey Bar are a good way to get to know your neighbors. Katelyn Perry

But like the perma-freelance future we’re all racing toward, WeLive gives me this sinking feeling that what I’m giving up in security and commitment, I’m not necessarily getting back in freedom. Take it to its logical conclusion: At some point, the youthful gig-economy worker of tomorrow is going to have babies, and she’s going to need to put them in a WeDayCare while she pursues her latest consulting job. Pretty soon our offspring will be learning, living, working, and dying all inside one monolithic company: the many-tentacled WeOctopus. And that gives me the creeps.

Once I was keyed into this bigger game, I saw everything WeLive did through a different lens. It’s a social experiment on a scale we haven’t really seen before, except maybe in the Israeli kibbutz, in which WeLive’s other co-founder, Adam Neumann, was raised. The crucial distinction, though, and the reason the WeThing isn’t a real “utopia” per se, is that it asks nothing of its members by way of shared responsibility or decision-making. It’s purely transactional. You just pay in, show up, enjoy the perks, and go about your merry way. In the end, that capitalist DNA might be the thing that gives it the legs to last longer than, say, the hippie communes of the ’60s.

Then again, it’s also possible that real utopian shit might grow in the artificial setup. I was doing laundry one night and lost track of time playing Big Buck Hunter. When I turned around, a dude my age was folding my laundry for me because, he claimed, he needed to use the dryer and he didn’t want anyone to abscond with my clothing. That kind of sappy altruism was, at first blush, borderline offensive to the standoffish, self-reliant ethos I’d picked up while living in New York City. But after we started talking, I could tell it came naturally to this guy, who, despite living in New York, had clearly not yet adopted its notoriously callous ways. “People think WeLive is a bunch of entitled millennials who want someone to clean their room,” he said. “But it’s not.”

Living at WeLive was relatively conflict-free. The biggest scandal to date on the internal app’s Buzz page was about the smell of marijuana, a whiff of which I’d caught seeping through the vent in my bathroom. The community manager, who plays a tricky hybrid role of landlord, dormitory R.A., and neighbor, reminded everyone that smoking in units was grounds for eviction. Members chimed in to add their weed-related complaints. Others got defensive. One guy responded: “This is New York.” Another said simply: “Grow up or get out.”

There’s an implicit promise that all WeLive members exist on the same chill frequency. Katelyn Perry

Tiffs like that don’t really detract from the experience, members told me. They certainly don’t stop WeLive from gearing up for expansion—albeit at a slower pace than it had initially hoped. The company just announced that the third WeLive will open, in Seattle in 2020, with 36 floors of living and working space. WeWork hired an executive from Starwood to run the WeLive business, and there are rumors that it has its sights set on London next. The broader WeWork company just got a $4.4 billion investment from the nearly $100 billion Vision Fund run by Japan’s SoftBank.

As for whether WeLive can help with the increasing loneliness of my generation, it’s still too early to tell. We seem to socialize better online than in person, and we’re definitely worse, at least statistically, at the stuff young people used to do—like have sex and not live with their parents. Silicon Valley’s inclination is to try to solve those problems by reaching in and re-engineering our social lives. But even if it can get you to a kegger, WeLive can’t actually make your friends for you. The same way Tinder can only get you into the same room as a potential mate—you still have to do the talking.

Ironically, the most organic social incident I witnessed while in residence at WeLive was something that happens at every building in the city—a fire alarm. One warm night in late April, everyone had to evacuate the building. We all milled around outside the lobby, suspended between the reassuring idea that it wasn’t a real fire and the sneaking possibility that it might be. A young mother of two stood away from the fire trucks, watching her kids run around. She explained with a conspiratorial look in her eye that she hoped that the alarm was caused by someone smoking pot. That way they would finally have a culprit for the persistent smell. She was worried about her kids, and she thought this might bring about stricter enforcement.

It’s an example of one of the many basic things WeLive will need to solve as it expands around the world: families with young children and twentysomethings who wish they were still in college, attempting to live side by side, as one. Which is, of course, a problem familiar to any apartment building in any neighborhood in America, ever.

"And what, really, is the end goal of all that streamlining, anyway? What do you do with all the time you’re not “wasting” anymore? Work on your app? E-mail till you fall asleep?"

A bigger problem might be that there’s something dehumanizing at the core of what WeLive encourages—at the center of this whole society-wide movement toward maximum performance. Maybe it’s just me, but I’m not as taken with optimization as the Soylent-guzzling, fitness-tracking set. For instance, I’d like to pick out my own wall art and books. And I don’t mind running out to the store, because I enjoy going outside. And what, really, is the end goal of all that streamlining, anyway? What do you do with all the time you’re not “wasting” anymore? Work on your app? E-mail till you fall asleep?

After I moved out, WeLive kept evolving and I burrowed back into my own, non-utopian life. Six months later, I was unexpectedly back on the New York City housing market after a sudden breakup. I find it telling that it didn’t once cross my mind to return to WeLive. It’s not WeLive’s fault, necessarily. The apartments there are nice enough, if a bit pricey. The beer is good and the coffee is strong. It’s probably exactly what a lot of folks are looking for. But I’m reminded of the old Groucho Marx line, the one about never joining a club that would have you as a member. WeLive is great—as long as you don’t mind becoming the kind of person who hangs out at a WeLive.

Benjy Hansen-Bundy is a GQ assistant editor.

This story originally appeared in the March 2018 issue with the title "Can the WeLive Experiment Actually Change the Way We Live?"

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