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obeyourlord · 2 years

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Call Me Scooby Cause I Can't Doo This Anymore

TW: Suicide attempt, angst, the demon bros being assholes.

ao3 link

I promise, Mammon is my favourite character and one day I will write something happy for him. One day.

It had been so long since his brothers had looked in his direction, not even to scream and belittle him as usual. Whenever he tried to make conversation at the dinner table, he wasn’t heard or received no reply.

Mammon was forced to watch from the side-lines as he’s slowly replaced with another demon, one who also fell from the Celestial Realm like them. This fallen angel in particular was charismatic and had more things in common with his brothers than Mammon did.

Those long anime titles Levi knows? He also knew them and listened to Levi’s ranting without complaint. He went to parties with Asmo and gossiped with him all night long. He knew and read all the best books, according to Satan. He was quiet around Belphie and knitted him a blanket to go with his cow pillow. He gave Beel food whenever he had some to give. Not to mention, he helped Lucifer with his paperwork, becoming ‘very reliable’ for a fallen angel.

He got along better with the other sins along with the other major demons like Lord Diavolo and Barbatos. He was greedy like Mammon but not to the point that he stole from others and broke whatever trust people had of him. He could cook tasty food, unlike Mammon and was generally better in all the ways Mammon couldn’t be. He became a better fit for the Avatar Of Greed than he was all within a month.

In every aspect he could, he replaced Mammon.

It made Mammon mad in a way. He spent all this time since the Celestial Realm trying to help his brothers overcome their grief felt by Lilith’s death and this was how they repaid him? By throwing him aside? The one that hurt the most was Satan, the little terror he raised, following in the same path as the others did. But he couldn’t hate his brothers, he still loved them.

Mammon had to make a decision between his happiness and his brothers. Would he stick around and be a burden for others just for his own happiness? Could he do that to the people he loved? He had always known it should have been him and not Lilith who died, she would have kept them all together. He just got in the way. Before it wasn’t as much as an issue but now it was stopping his brothers from welcoming the new member and completing their new family. ��

If his brothers wanted him gone so badly, who was he to deny them their happiness? He shouldn’t be selfish anymore. He would set his brothers free from the prison he’s kept them in for all those years.

Of course, Mammon couldn’t kill himself so easily. He had to tie up loose ends, such as paying off all the debts he owed and writing letters to his close friends to apologise. Not to his family, though, they weren’t family anymore, they didn’t want to be his family so he would respect that wish by not referring to them as that. Although could he call any of the receivers close after letting him go so easily?

The letters were addressed to his manager, who he apologised to for not being able to do anymore gigs and other individuals in the business who he’s fairly close to. Of course, he wrote to Lord Diavolo for being such a mistake of an avatar and expressing thanks for how long he put up with him despite that. Mammon wrote to Barbatos of how he was sorry that he would cause him to have to clean up another mess, but it was necessary as something as vile as him should have a painful end. Only a creature as disgusting as him couldn’t be loved by his brothers.

He wrote to Solomon, that was admittedly harder to do as he was intimidated by the man. Still, he had to apologise to everyone who was forced to bear his presence as much as Solomon had to. Simeon was also hard to do but for the completely opposite reason, he had known Simeon for so long. Simeon used to babysit him when Lucifer or Michael were busy and was much like a father figure. Writing to Luke had made him cry. How was he supposed to tell the small angel he was going to kill himself? In the end, he lied that he was going away for a while just like the coward he had always been.

The brothers were easy to do, he had wanted to apologise for so many things he had done wrong and now had the chance to do so. He was sorry that he was scum, an idiot and every other insult they through at him. It was his fault they lost the war, he stole things he shouldn’t have, how he was sorry that he lived instead of Lilith and wished how he could go back in time to reverse this mistake. He apologised for his existence in the first place and how it was terrible that it happened in the first place.

Mammon took up extra gigs to get more money to pay off all his debts. The smaller ones to shark loans or casinos were done first then working up to his brothers. He saved them for last incase they felt something was up with Mammon paying off a debt for once. Perhaps it was also to keep up the small hope that his ex-brothers still loved him as much as he did them.

Of course, they never noticed anything wrong, they never cared enough to look. None of them even thanked him, just took the money and left.

With all he needed to do being completed, Mammon could vanish like he was never there. He bought some poison potent enough that it could kill even the Demon King then wondered into the forest; his faithful crows followed him knowing something bad would happen to their master. A slightly bitter part of him thought how his brothers wouldn’t do that much for him despite all he did for them but quickly shook that from his mind. That didn’t matter anymore, nothing did.

Mammon sat down in front of a tree surrounded by tiny graves of some of his crow familiars that sadly passed away and he had buried out of love for the creatures. One of his crows named Grim hopped up to him, bumping his head against Mammon’s leg. Mammon smiled, at least someone cared, and cried as he drank the poison.

Fading away, Mammon realised how cold death was. Was it like this when Lilith died? Did she feel this crippling dread? Did she feel this lonely? He was cold, so cold and so lonely. He chose this yet he hated it. Could he go back? He wanted to do so, go back to when his brothers loved him, his sister was alive and he wasn’t such a mistake.

But this would make them happy. Just imagining them, receiving the news of his death and rejoicing now that their burden had been lifted off their shoulders. Immediately after, they would usher their new brother into his old room and they would throw out anything to do with him. They'd probably burn the letters he poured his heart into. After some time, they would forget his existence. When asked about a Mammon, they’d respond with ‘who?’

Suddenly, Mammon felt warm, as if he was being hugged. The presence was familiar, one like that of an angel, a powerful angel. It was on the tip of his tongue, just one name yet he couldn’t remember. His mind was fuzzy and he was fading quickly.

“Go to sleep, now, Lamb. You're safe here, in my arms.” A voice called out to him before it all faded to black.

Maybe it was all a fantasy concocted by his dying mind to give him comfort or maybe it was happening for real. Did he really care to know? It brought him a sense of peace that he hadn’t felt for too long.

Since then, time had passed, not anything near a year but too long for someone to realise Mammon was gone. 2 whole weeks and yet all were unaware of what had transpired in the woods. The only evidence left was a body devoid of life that had at one point belonged to the avatar of greed. But soon, all Devildom would know.

“Has anyone seen Mammon? He stole one of my figures.” Levi complained to the other brothers who resided inside the common room. It was rare for them to all be there at the same time but perhaps it was the spell of quiet and calm they were in.

“I don’t know.” Asmo mumbled absentmindedly, too busy painting his nails.

“None of us know.” Satan chimed in. “He hasn’t been around for a while now that I think of it.”

“Ah, so that’s why it’s been quiet. I'm glad he’s gone, anyway, he always was a scummy idiot.” Belphie quipped.

“Maybe he died.” Asmo snickered to himself and caused a few others to chuckle.

“Yeah, but I want my figure! It was a collector's edition! I’ve checked everywhere and I still can’t find him!” This made Lucifer slightly concerned, not that he would admit it.

“I’ll use my link to find Mammon.” Lucifer stated.

Using his link with Mammon, he tried to find his younger brother only to come up blank. There was nothing there where his connection with Mammon should have been like it was severed or never existed. Only mildly worried, he had tried again and again. All attempts failed, perhaps his brother had learnt how to block the link so Lucifer couldn’t mess up one of his schemes. Or that’s what he had convinced himself.

“My link currently isn’t working, or more accurately, it isn’t there.” This caught the attention of the brothers, something like that had never happened before and was worrying. “Mammon had most likely learned to block it.”

This did little to reassure the other brothers who all tried their links only to come up blank as well. Suddenly, the moment of respite from the usual chaos of the household burst like a bubble.

All six brothers went to find their missing brother, starting with their house to find clues of Mammon’s whereabouts, he was known to leave plans of his schemes in the open for Lucifer to find. In the room, they found a layer of dust in Mammon’s room. They realised that for dust to settle like that, Mammon hadn’t been in his room for a while as this avatar hated his possessions getting dusty. Now panicked, the other avatars requested for Lord Diavolo to help them search other places in Devildom.

While searching his room for answers of the mysterious disappearance of Mammon, Levi knocked open a box that had fallen from the bed. Inside were letters addressed to them and others. At this discovery, Levi called everyone baring Luke, who had no idea of what was going on, to go through the letters together.

The six brothers, Lord Diavolo, Barbatos, Solomon and Simeon were there to look through the letters in hopes of finding answers to the location of Mammon. Lucifer apologised for his brother’s actions, still convinced that his brother was being childish, and swore he would punish Mammon for making them all worry about him. With that, all attendees opened their letters.

The contents of the letters threw them into a panicked frenzy, all getting the same information. They had to find Mammon and hope to every deity that he was still alive by some miracle. Unbeknownst to them, Mammon was no longer with them and was instead somewhere much different.

Looking down at the sleeping Mammon, now an angel again, God had never felt so accomplished. The most loyal angel to have existed was back and now he could help him as he wished to. That rotten fallen angel he sent down seemed to corrupt the others in Devildom, he sent that one down due to his ability to create misery. He had questioned whether it was intentionally, but it hadn’t mattered at the time. Though he never thought that misery would have been targeted against Mammon. If God had known, he never would have cast him down but instead locked him up.

Despite their betrayal, he had always acknowledged the brothers as his children with Mammon even more so having a place in his heart. The little troublemaker made problems for Michael and Lucifer constantly and had more than on one occasion made trouble for him. But the child apologised and would make gifts to help his case. Once, Mammon had made him an apology card with lots of golden glitter that was still hung up in his private chambers as one of his most valued treasures.

It was a miracle he found Mammon. God had come down to Devildom for a quick visit, he had been doing this mostly undetected ever since the Great Celestial War ended to check on his fallen children. Only a select few knew about it, one of those being Barbatos who didn’t seem to mind as long as he didn’t meddle in important Devildom business. By extension, Diavolo knew and had invited him to tea on multiple occasions. When he landed in the forest, he smelt blood. Demon blood, more specifically. And one that smelt quite familiar to him.

He followed the scent of blood and found Mammon, leant against a tree surrounded by his crows and dying. His skin was pale and sweaty, blood poured from his nose and his mouth had a small amount of blood along the lips. God knew he was dying. There was an empty bottle and the label was clear of what was once in it. He didn’t even question of how Mammon knew of this poison or even how he obtained it.

The poison had spread through Mammon’s demon body and would soon destroy his soul so God did the only thing he could, he took Mammon’s soul out of his body and gave him a new one. Switching souls to different bodies wasn’t hard for a being such as himself and it was also a common practice, though it was illegal if the body already had a soul assigned to it. There were problems with this as God could only create angels and not demons, Mammon’s new angel body hadn’t fallen and was weak from the lingering poison, he would die soon in Devildom’s atmosphere. So, he took Mammon up to the Celestial Realm for the time being.

God thought that soon the other brothers would notice his disappearance and would return Mammon then but was proved wrong when a week had gone by and they hadn’t questioned the missing avatar. All the while Mammon was still in a coma as his soul fought off any remaining poison that managed to slip in, blissfully unaware to his brother’s incompetence. God decided in that moment that he wouldn’t give Mammon back to them. If they didn’t appreciate him while he was with them, they couldn’t appreciate him at all.

Meanwhile, the group in Devildom had finally found Mammon’s dead body. It was surrounded by gold and shiny items of all variety, along with wild Devildom flowers. The body itself wasn’t slumped over the tree anymore but was instead lying on his back with a bouquet of Celestial Realm flowers gripped in his hands. Mammon's body look as if he had died only moments before they arrived but he was cold to the touch and no trace of his soul could be found.

The demons didn’t notice the flowers but rather the body of their brother, dead, looking more peaceful than he did in life, a small smile still on his lips. Beelzebub was the first to break down and cry, the first to accept that his brother was dead just like Lilith. And he knew it was his fault, he didn’t save Lilith but chose to save Belphegor and now he chose his other brother’s side over Mammon despite seeing how it destroyed him. He chose a random demon over his brother. He hugged his dead brother to his chest and prayed for the first time in ages, wishing that this was just a nightmare.

Asmodeus broke down and clung onto the person closest who was Satan. His older brother was gone, the one who he mocked constantly and was never nice to. Secretly, Asmodeus was insecure so he took it out on Mammon who was confident and had people love him for more than his body. Mammon never had people become close to him only for the delusion they were intitled to his body. He knew this wasn’t an excuse for what he did but he always reasoned that Mammon never complained so it was fine. Now he knew that it wasn’t and he killed his brother for blissful ignorance.

Satan stood blankly and stared at Mammon, he couldn’t except that he was gone. Mammon was the brother who took care of him when he was younger and was a parental figure to him. He had been more of a father than Lucifer could have ever hoped to be, though he teased Mammon all the time by calling him mommy. But now his Mammy was dead and he couldn’t bring himself to cry. Infact, Satan couldn’t bring himself to feel anything. He was too tired to be angry and too far beyond sad to feel so. But what Satan could feel is his heart breaking.

Belphegor couldn’t handle it, his dear brother was gone, just like Lilith. But now he couldn’t blame anyone but himself. Humans didn’t have a hand in this nor did God and the other angles, only him and his brothers. And he wouldn’t try to shift the blame this time like he did with Lilith. He was spoiled as he was the youngest of the brothers and always got his way, he also never took responsibility for his actions. But this was a consequence he never imagined happening. If only he grew up faster.

Levi didn’t cry, he didn’t need to. Mammon was still alive and the next day he would come back and everything would return to normal. His scumbag brother would beg him to lend him money he would never pay back and maybe Levi would after this scare. Or he could keep the money and brag about it just to spite the greedy brother for doing this in the first place. Levi could admit he might not have the best coping mechanisms but he couldn’t let go of Mammon just yet, he’s too weak and selfish for that.

Lucifer couldn’t believe it; his precious baby brother was gone. His second in command, the one he trusted the most, was dead in front of him. He failed again as the eldest, another of his siblings was dead but there was no one else to blame but them. How terrible they were to have convinced their brother that he wasn’t loved and had to take his life for them to be happy. If it would bring his brother back, he’d throw his pride away. He would do anything for that but it was too late. They'd already killed their brother.

Simeon, Solomon, Diavolo and Barbatos watched the brothers and their varying reactions but didn’t mourn themselves. When they had panicked and searched for Mammon’s corpse, they were acting. Simeon along with Luke had gotten news that Mammon was an angel again and were informed of how it happened, something that Luke was very happy about. Now he didn’t have to make up an excuse of liking a demon! Though he was mad at the way he was treated by his supposed family. Simeon had nearly turned to alcoholism just from that rant on demons alone. Simeon did agree that the brothers were acting quite evil but at least he had the idea that they regretted it.

Solomon took Asmo into his arms to comfort his avatar, he wasn’t so heartless as to leave him on his own. Of course, Solomon knew of Mammon’s true fate, he shared a dorm with the angels and had heard all of Luke’s rantings so to say he wasn’t impressed was an understatement. Despite his disappointment, he still did his best to soothe his pact mate.

Diavolo could immediately feel when Mammon left his realm, as it’s guardian, he could tell when a person enters or leaves its grounds. This also includes when someone dies as their soul leaves his realm but he usually can’t tell who it is. As this is unusual, Diavolo requested Barbatos investigates it as no demon should have died. His butler had returned with unfortunate news that Mammon had ‘passed away’ but fortunately his soul resided in a new body. But that body was sadly in the Celestial Realm. Both demons were disheartened that the other avatars and their close friends had driven Mammon to this outcome. Both were fond of the fun and mischievous demon who could always spare time for those who needed or wanted it.

The four beings who were unaffected by the loss of Mammon had taken the remaining avatars back home and had made sure they would be safe. The four had silently agreed not to tell them where Mammon was or that he was alive, they would find out eventually so there was no reason to tell them overwise. Not only that but it was only Mammon who could make an important decision like that.

It had been 3 days since then and all subjects gathered outside the palace where it was announced by Lord Diavolo of the passing of the avatar. A sadness washed over the crowd, Mammon was a beloved figure in the realm and had changed so much for the better. Even those who didn’t know Mammon well shed tears with the rest. And those who were closer to Mammon openly wept for the friend who they’d lost. Some were called to take a letter addressed to them by Mammon, a last present from him.

Among those mourning, the fallen angel who had been the catalyst for the tragic events was stood. He listened to the news and immediately set off to the House of Lamentations.

Inside, it was quiet but he could hear quiet chattering and wet sniffling from the living room. He entered and saw the six siblings sitting together in front of the TV but stared at the screen unseeing. They had definitely gotten the news of their ex-brother's death seeing as they were the most deserving to receive the news.

But he had mistaken these expressions for something different, such as the tears as ones of joy and the downcast faces as disbelief. Not once did it cross his mind that they would be sad about Mammon’s death, not after how easily they replaced him. So, he then made a mistake with utmost confidence.

“So, when do I move in?”

All the brothers whipped their heads in his direction with a fuming expression. The sheer audacity he had to ask that only days after they found Mammon’s body as if that bastard was entitled to anything they had to offer. And even so, Mammon’s room was something they couldn’t possibly offer to someone else. The volume of aggression in the room was suffocating for Satan. The fallen angel could tell he had fucked up by asking that question.

Without a word, Beelzebub walked towards the guy and cornered him against a wall with his impressive size. The fallen knew he wouldn’t like what was about to happen to him. And he didn’t. It wasn’t the first time the brothers had killed another demon but never as brutally as this.

The brothers mourned their brother for years afterwards, unaware he was still alive in the Celestial Realm, trapped in a coma. During that time, Simeon and Luke were called back to their home until Mammon awoke. God didn’t want Luke to accidently spill to the brothers of what actually happened.

Though Solomon stayed, he didn’t tell Asmo the truth, despite wanting to so badly. The same went for Diavolo and Barbatos, who didn’t want the brothers to grieve like they did. But it was up to Mammon if he wanted to tell his (ex?) brothers when he woke up.

Until then, nobody would make a move.

#obey me #obey me mammon #replaced mammon #obey me demon brothers #obey me god #obey me replaced au

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anthonyjlockwood · 3 years

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17 OF THE 50 WAYS TO SAY I LOVE YOU FOR LALEXIE PLEASEEEE

em, my fellow luke angst lover, my lalexie brain rot-causer, my beloved <3

here is your prompt on ao3. tw for discussions of luke wanting to cross over. please read responsibly💜

Luke’s song book has been through a lot over the years.

It’s had tears soaked into its pages. It’s had crumbs stuck in between its binding. It’s had dozens of songs written on it in fast, messy handwriting, thousands of words based on Luke’s inner thoughts, feelings, hopes, and dreams.

It’s survived years worth of scribbles, cross-outs, rips and tears; even hugs and kisses, when Luke’s written something he’s sure will be a hit someday.

It’s survived death, some time in a dark room, and a tumbling trip back to Earth twenty five years in the future.

And now, the boy who’s been writing in it for all that time, whose soul is attached to it in ways most people wouldn’t even understand, is using its pages for something else.

Something no one would have ever expected.

A list.

Ways I Can Cross Over.

He thought that maybe, Unsaid Emily would’ve been it. There was a small part of him that had expected to just vanish into thin air the second Julie handed his parents that sheet of notebook paper.

His notebook is almost empty now. Luke thinks that that’s fitting; he’s spent most of his soul onto the pages. He’s a ghost. He’s got nothing more to give. Maybe it’s even a sign -- a sign that he’s not going to need to write music for much longer. The notebook is running out of space. It’s running out of time, just like he is.

He wonders if he could even use a new songbook. It wouldn’t be a part of him, the way his old one was. It would be empty; a blank slate for him to start a new journey in. A whole new marathon to run just as he’s crossing the finish line of the last one.

And… he doesn’t want to.

He’s tired of running. Running from his parents. Running from Caleb. From things that he broke, from things that were threatening to break him. From things that were hurting his friends.

Luke’s always been one for impulsive decisions.

So after he makes his list, he dog-ears the page and gives himself a time limit.

He has until the pages run out in his notebook to figure out what his unfinished business is… and finish it.

The problem is, Luke’s life on Earth wasn’t that long. He’s had seventeen years to start things, and practically no time at all to finish them. The possibilities of what his unfinished business actually is are endless. There was that music festival the guys had wanted to play at the end of summer ‘95. Countless world tours they wanted to go on. He wanted to sign an autograph for Dave Grohl, shake hands with Mick Jagger. He wanted to drink chocolate from the world’s largest chocolate waterfall in Alaska.

So few of these things he could actually do, now that he was dead.

Even fewer of them he could do without the guys. If his unfinished business really had to be just for him, maybe the band stuff wouldn’t be enough.

He never finished high school. He never learned how to play the bass -- he’s always wanted to; after all, Reggie could play the guitar, so Luke should know how to play his instrument, too.

And the only other thing he could think of that was absolutely, one hundred percent his business to finish… was his relationship with his mother.

Julie bringing “Unsaid Emily” over to his old house had been something. It filled the hole in his chest just enough that he could pretend it wasn’t there. Having his mom finally see how he felt about her, how much he regretted leaving, was like putting an ice pack on a burn. It eased the pain for the moment, had him thinking maybe that would be enough, that it would heal properly. But the ice pack’s melted, now; it’s gone back to room temperature, and his heart is still screaming.

Luke wonders what else he would have to do to get rid of the guilt.

He knows -- he hopes -- that the guilt won’t follow him to the afterlife. Because it’s really the only thing about this ghost-limbo that he wants to escape from. He doesn’t mind the invisibility, or the intangibility, because those things have never really prevented him from playing music. Music, though, he’ll miss, but Luke thinks it’s a small price to pay. After all, Alex and Reggie should’ve had their whole lives to play music. And even if Luke crosses over, they still can. He’s the one who caused their untimely deaths in the first place.

And he can never undo that, but… something he’s realized as all of them have adjusted to being ghosts is that he’s not really needed.

Sunset Curve could go on as a trio. Julie would still have her found family in Alex and Reggie and Willie. Reggie would have his friends that remained, as well as Ray and Carlos to fill in any gaps.

And Alex and Willie would have each other.

For Willie, the whole concept of “unfinished business” is just… not really on his radar. He’s pretty content in his afterlife. He is, as the kids say, vibing. He’s moving along, singing a song. He was never in any rush to figure out what his unfinished business was, and he was especially never in any rush to cross over, to fade out of existence entirely and into the unknown.

He also never really understood why other ghosts would want to do that. Until he met Alex and the others, and realized that sometimes, urgency forces your hand. Outside circumstances throw you out of your comfort zone, force you to do things you never would’ve considered before.

But also, since meeting Alex, the tiny part of his soul that’s always been curious about what his unfinished business was -- curious about crossing over, about what’s on the other side -- has pretty much shriveled away to nothing. Alex gives a whole new meaning to Willie’s life -- to his afterlife, really -- but the drummer makes him feel alive again in a way that he hasn’t felt in decades. Long before he’d forgotten the age-old saying, look both ways before you cross the street.

Willie wouldn’t call himself the most observant person on Earth. Sometimes, he can be a little oblivious. He can be blinded to the truth, only see what he wants to see -- he can deny what’s right in front of him. Give people the benefit of the doubt who don’t deserve it, like he’s done with Caleb so many times before.

He tries not to stress about things. Tries to just be. Live -- or do whatever he’s doing as a ghost, honestly -- with no regrets, no looking back. He doesn’t worry about consequences. But at the same time, he’s also scared of disappointing people. Scared of how he’s coming across to other people. He needs to make sure he’s not messing up too too badly, because he wants the people he loves to love him back -- he wants them to want him to stick around.

So he pays attention. He misses stuff sometimes, sure… but Willie’s mission in his afterlife is simple. Chill out, do whatever he wants to do -- it’s not like he can get caught; he’s invisible. Just don’t get on Caleb Covington’s bad side.

Love whoever he still can, and be loved back.

Willie loves Alex. He’s loved him since the museum. He’s needed him since he ran into him on the street with his skateboard. But lately, Willie’s started to realize that he might also love Luke. Not any more or less than he loves Alex, which is a confusing problem in itself. And not really in a different way than Alex, either. His heart does somersaults when he’s around Luke now, too.

He might need him in different ways than Alex, though. Alex calms him down, grounds him when his head’s in the clouds or he’s too distracted by other things. He brings him back, makes him aware of what’s most important in the moment. He makes him laugh. Makes him think. Makes him stop and appreciate everything around him, instead of just whipping through his afterlife with no concerns. Alex makes him care.

But Luke… With Luke, it feels like he’s stuck upside-down at the top of a roller coaster, but there’s no one else he’d rather be stuck with. He feels more dangerous with Luke, willing to do things that he’s too scared to drag Alex into. He feels like there’s no limits. In one of Luke’s songs, he wrote face first, full charge, and that’s the exact energy he brings when he’s around Willie -- when he’s around anyone, really. He’s passionate, and driven, and so unafraid. Willie doesn’t have to be as careful around Luke.

And they’re both super protective of Alex.

Willie needs Alex for the slow rollercoaster ride to the top of the hill, and he needs Luke for laughter, for thrill, for excitement. For the thrilling, twisty way back down.

Willie’s not sure that anything feels complete without Alex and Luke.

So, since they’re both a part of Willie in ways that he can’t even really explain, Willie watches. He pays attention to both of them, taking in everything about them in quiet, soft, subtle ways.

That’s how he starts to notice that something’s off with Luke.

A week goes by, the pages in Luke’s notebook are dwindling, and he still has no idea what his unfinished business is.

It’s frustrating, having to narrow his entire life down to one possible milestone he’s never gotten to achieve. There are far too many. And the nagging voice in the back of Luke’s head -- the one telling him that Alex and Reggie have just as many milestones -- isn’t helping matters at all.

Luke just wants all this to be over. He deserves it -- he’s not sure whether he deserves the questionable peace crossing over would bring; everyone always says death is peaceful, anyway. But he definitely deserves the “no longer existing” part. And Alex and Reggie do deserve it. They deserve everything that life -- or afterlife, really -- can still offer them. Luke’s tired of holding them back. It feels like nothing’s ever good enough -- like he’s wearing shoes made out of lead, or something, trying to walk across a desert, and he’s got a time limit to get there. And Alex and Reggie are chained to him -- stuck in the same predicament, because they just had to follow him to that hot dog stand. He’s tired of getting them into these messes. First death; and, as if that wasn’t bad enough, into the Hollywood Ghost Club with Caleb Covington, all because he just couldn’t let his grudge against Bobby -- Trevor Wilson -- die.

He’s still writing music, but his lyrics aren’t as powerful anymore. They’re not as confident, not as inspiring. And he writes with Julie, but he thinks Julie can tell that his spark has dimmed.

He hopes that she thinks he’s just going through writer’s block, or something. Something fixable.

He’s been working on his list for the past week, too. He thinks he’s got his unfinished business pretty much narrowed down; there’s three things on his list he wants to try. School. Bass. Emily.

He needs Reggie’s help with the bass one, so he’s been putting it off. And Emily…

Luke has tried to steer clear of his old house since Julie gave his parents the song. Because… the fact that it didn’t help, that it didn’t ease the ache in his heart in exactly the way Julie hoped that it would, made Luke feel guilty. And he doesn’t really want to see if the song made a difference for his parents. Because what if it didn’t?

What if they’re like Luke, just wishing for more? More interaction that they can never have -- an actual conversation about the regrets that he touched on in the song? A physical hug, the weight of their arms around each other, a look of real, actual understanding in their eyes that Luke’s never thought he would actually see.

And the thing is… if his parents are Luke’s unfinished business, what the hell is he supposed to do about it?

The prospect of being chained to the Earth forever because of something he’d screwed up beyond repair when he was alive has his stomach churning, almost as badly as it was when he’d eaten that hot dog.

The easiest one for Luke to focus on is school -- which, if someone had said to him twenty-five years ago that school would be at the top of his priority list, he’d have laughed in their face -- and the easiest way for him to do it is through Julie.

Julie’s sufficiently banned him from actually showing up at her school, but that doesn’t mean he can’t do other things. Like homework and studying. So Luke’s plan is this: he’ll study with Julie, maybe convince her to let him do a couple of her homework assignments. And if she aces her next math test because of the work they’ve done together, Luke’ll consider it a win.

It’s the best option he has. It’s not like he can sit in a classroom anymore, or take his own tests.

He sneaks up on her one afternoon as she’s sitting in her bedroom, chewing on a pencil, face scrunched in confusion.

“Hey, Jules. Whatcha doin?”

At the sound of his voice, Julie looks up at him and her confusion transforms into a smile. “Hey, Luke! Just homework.”

“Need any help?” He shuffles a little closer to the bed, mindful of Julie’s distaste for having the boys in her room.

Julie’s face flips back to confusion like a lightswitch. “You… want to help me with my homework?”

“Yeah!” Luke huffs out an awkward laugh, rubbing the back of his neck. “I just… was curious, I guess. About what you’re learning in school.”

“Why?”

“You know, I never finished high school!” Luke says. “I’ve kind of always wondered what it would’ve been like if I had. Y’know, walking across a stage in that dumb cap and gown. Um -- accomplishing something. Being able to finish something important!”

He’s saying too much -- he knows by the way Julie’s expression shifts, confusion into curiosity into concern.

“Hey, wait,” she says, placing her pencil down and closing her textbook. “Are you okay? Is there something you want to talk about, Luke?”

“What? No! I’m fine!”

He hates the way his voice comes out, rough and high-pitched and decidedly not fine. Julie looks like she’s about to argue, so he opens his dumb, not-fine, impulsive mouth once again. “Seriously, Jules. I’m good. Gotta go meet the boys now, see ya!”

He poofs away, but he can still see Julie’s worried stare still fixed on him behind his eyelids.

“Don’t you think he’s been acting kinda strange?”

Willie is sitting in the garage, Reggie on the couch to his right and Alex behind him, braiding his hair like he does when he gets nervous.

And he’s trying to console Alex, to tell him to relax, that they’ll make sure Luke is fine -- only the confidence that Willie’s normally so famous for is dwindling.

Alex is worried about Luke, and Willie would love to reassure him, except that Willie thinks that Alex has a point. Luke has been acting strange lately; way too over the top during rehearsals, more trips to see his mom than usual -- trips that he thinks they don’t know about -- plus, he’s been reading books.

Julie’s school books, which he takes out of her room sometimes and stashes up on top of the loft. Books that Alex found there earlier that day, when he was looking for his drumsticks. Books that Alex had asked Willie about… and they’d both determined that it was Luke who had brought them up there, because Reggie wouldn’t hide the fact that he was teaching himself Trigonometry, and Luke’s been acting really weird as it is.

“You said he’s doing math?” Reggie asks, eyes wide. Willie figures Reggie must know just as well as he does -- if not better -- what Luke doing math could mean: that he’s not acting like himself.

“Yes!” Willie flails, waving his arms wildly -- to make a point -- and knocking into his boyfriend, who flinches back, tugging on Willie’s hair in the process.

“Ow!”

“Well you didn’t have to jump like that!” Alex hisses back. “Stop moving. I’m trying to stress-braid.”

“Sorry, Alex,” Willie sighs, straightening himself on the sofa. Sometimes, Alex just needs to stress-braid his hair. It gives him something to do with his hands; it’s a way for him to occupy his mind -- to focus on things other than the anxiety. And Willie’s usually all too happy to provide that service (what feels better than having your hair braided, especially by a boy you love?)

“Do you think he’s okay?” Alex mumbles, fingers once again fumbling through Willie’s hair in his unpracticed, clumsy way.

“Why don’t you guys just talk to him?” Reggie asks. “D’you have any idea what could be wrong?”

“No,” Willie huffs. “He’s just been acting so weird. I know it’s something. He’s doing stuff that he’s never cared about before -- like math. But also just… the stuff he normally loves, music. He’s… acting like it’s gonna be taken away from him, or something. Haven’t you noticed how hard he’s pushing you guys in band practice?”

“He’s acting like… like we’re running out of time,” Alex realizes. “But why?”

Just then, the boy in question poofs into the garage -- like he was rushing to get there; his landing’s not clean, and he stumbles around for a moment before catching himself on one of the microphone stands. He straightens up and sees that he has an audience.

“Hey -- hey, guys,” he stammers. “What’s up? We gonna practice?”

His eyes fix on Reggie, then, and he perks up. “Oh! Reg! I’ve been meaning to ask you -- can you teach me how to play the bass?”

“Can I--” Reggie stops, stares at Luke for a moment, trying to piece everything together.

Alex, though, right in front of Willie behind the sofa, looks like he’s already figured it out. He blinks at Luke. “You want to learn how to play bass?”

“I always have,” Luke shrugs. Alex studies him, and Luke twitches under his gaze.

“I just thought it would be cool, ya know, to know all our instruments. So can you teach me, Reg?”

“Um -- I --” Reggie’s eyes dart between Alex, Willie, and Luke, probably trying to figure out what the right thing to say is. Willie doesn’t know, exactly, but he knows one thing for sure: there’s no way Luke’s sudden interest in learning the bass is a coincidence.

Alex seems to be on the same page, but unlike Willie, he’s more inclined to take charge, to do something about it. “Reg, can we talk to Luke alone for a minute?”

“Yes,” Reggie lets out a sigh of relief and poofs away, leaving Willie and Alex to deal with… whatever this is. Willie still isn’t totally sure.

He’s once again enormously grateful for Alex, and the fact that his boyfriend has a pretty good handle on what’s going on in the world seventy-five percent of the time. Because it shocks Willie just as much as it does Luke when Alex says, “Why are you trying to cross over?”

What?

Willie hasn’t put the pieces together nearly as well as Alex has -- in fact, he feels like they’ve been working on entirely different puzzles. Why would Luke be trying to cross over? Why would he want to leave all the guys, and Julie, behind forever?

He wouldn’t. It doesn’t make sense.

Except the second the words leave Alex’s mouth, Luke freezes, eyes wide like he’s been tossed into the path of an oncoming train, shoes welded to its tracks.

And Willie starts to think that maybe his boyfriend wasn’t so far off the mark, after all.

“There are people who love you, you know.”

Luke blinks up at Alex, still frozen, still thrown for a loop, still… not understanding how Alex figured him out.

“How do you think we’d feel if you crossed over?” Alex continues, his intense gaze still fixed on Luke, Luke squirming uncomfortably underneath it. “Without us? Is that… is that something you want?”

Alex’s voice finally cracks, betraying the emotion underneath it, and it’s almost too much for Luke to take. His wild eyes dart around the studio, looking for something -- anything -- to focus on, to take him out of the moment… and he finds the string lights, hung across the walls and the ceilings. He starts counting the bulbs, reciting the numbers in his head. He only makes it to seven before Willie’s voice breaks his concentration.

“Luke?”

“How… how did you know that’s what I was trying to do?” Luke mumbles.

“Well… the math’s what clued me in,” Willie lets out a half-hearted laugh as Alex takes slow steps around the sofa and sits down.

“Come here,” he calls out to Luke -- and although every bone in Luke’s body is screaming run, get out, get far, far away from this conversation… he finds himself joining them, sitting down in the spot on the couch they’ve made in between them.

“We just want you to know there are people who love you,” Willie says. “People -- people who need you, Luke. You can’t leave us, okay? You can’t cross over. Not without us.”

“But you -- you guys and Reggie and Julie -- you don’t need me.”

“What are you talking about?” Alex asks. “Of course we--”

“You and Reg would still be alive if it weren’t for me,” Luke growls. “So don’t say you need me. All I do is mess everything up. You guys, our careers, my parents…”

“Hang on, Luke,” Alex reaches a hand out, momentarily caught off guard. Luke doesn’t see why; it’s not like what he said was that complicated. He’s messed up. He breaks things. He ruined his parents’ lives by running away. He almost ruined Julie’s life, by getting involved with Caleb. And -- and Alex and Reggie…

“None of that’s your fault,” Alex says with conviction.

“Alex--”

“No!” Alex gets up, suddenly, and starts to pace around the room, fingers digging through his hair. “You have to know that. We don’t blame you for any of that!”

“Luke, Alex is right,” Willie reaches a hand out, cautiously, and takes one of Luke’s. When Luke doesn’t pull away, Willie pulls him even closer, into his chest, and starts gently running his fingers through Luke’s hair.

Luke sinks into Willie’s chest, eyes following Alex’s nervous pacing -- he’s biting his lip, and his hands are shaking slightly. Luke hadn’t realized that it might be hard on Alex, too, dealing with Luke’s current mental spiral.

He pulls away from Willie, ignoring the other boy’s whine of protest, and sits up to face Alex. “Hey, Alex,” he calls out quietly. “Come back and sit down. I’m-- I’m good. You don’t have to worry about me. Just… take deep breaths, okay?”

“Are you seriously trying to calm me down right now?” Alex snaps. A flash of hurt crosses Luke’s face -- one that he must not be quick enough to hide, because Alex’s own face softens at the sight of it.

“I’m sorry,” he says. “Luke… I--”

“Just come back here and hold me, please,” Luke croaks.

Luke… doesn’t cry much, if he can help it. He hates tears, both his own and other people’s, and generally tries to avoid them at all costs. But… the look on Alex’s face, the tone of his voice -- his scared, anxious, desperate voice as he snapped at Luke for trying to calm him down -- has the dam breaking, finally, and the tears are bursting out of Luke’s eyes and running down his face before he even knows what’s happening, running down and soaking into the collar of his flannel shirt.

At the sight of Luke’s tears, Alex startles, and makes a beeline for his side. Luke is thrown into a group hug, Alex and Willie on either side of him.

And he just lets himself cry.

It takes a while, but finally Luke calms down a bit.

He stays on the couch, sandwiched in between two of his favorite people on the planet. Willie’s hands are still running gently through his hair; Alex’s thumb is rubbing small circles on his wrist.

His tears have finally stopped, but there’s this annoying, puffy ache in his head and behind his eyes that feels like it’s going to linger for a while.

It’s quiet, and the quiet allows Luke to think about everything that’s happened that day -- after weeks of his stupid, ill-advised mission to complete his unfinished business, he’s been found out.

And he found out that people -- Alex and Willie, who are love and sunshine and light and everything beautiful about the world personified -- would actually miss him if he was gone. That people care, that they don’t blame him for the stuff that he’s been blaming himself for for months.

It’s… a lot to wrap his head around, and even though the tears have stopped, the uncertainty and anxiety and desire to not be a burden is still swirling around in his head, leaving him silent and still as he sits there in between Alex and Willie, his head now resting on Willie’s shoulder.

He knows that those feelings, like the ache he feels in his heart and his head, will probably be around a while.

“I’m sorry for making you worry ‘bout me,” he mumbles, burrowing his face even deeper into Willie’s loose-fitting sweatshirt. Willie’s arms wrap around him and hold him there, and Luke takes in a deep, slow breath, inhaling Willie’s musky scent, shutting his eyes in the first moment of contentment he’s felt in weeks.

“I meant what I said, you know,” Alex whispers. “None of it’s your fault. There are people who love you. We…”

He stops, and Luke turns his head as much as Willie’s grip will allow to try to see why. He’s able to just peek at Alex out of the corner of his eye, and he sees that the other boy’s frowning. Like he’s unsure of what he’s about to say. Like he’s nervous.

“Alex?” Luke struggles out of Willie’s grip, and reluctantly, the other boy lets him go. He shuffles to the other side of the sofa, closer to Alex, and the drummer opens his arms for Luke willingly.

Being in Alex’s arms is different than being in Willie’s, too. Alex is sturdier; less teddy-bear like than Willie is, but comforting and warm and inviting all the same. Alex’s arms feel like home just as much as Willie’s do, and Luke melts into the hug instantly, like an ice cream cone on the hot pavement in July. Alex’s hand runs up and down Luke’s back and Luke shivers, eyes threatening to slip closed despite his need to hear Alex’s answer.

“Willie and I love you, Luke,” Alex says softly. There’s no more uncertainty -- a hint of nervousness, but Luke doesn’t doubt what Alex is saying for a second. There’s a conviction in his tone -- a confidence -- that Alex only really uses when talking about people he loves. This… defensiveness, this love, this conviction.

“We don’t have to figure everything out now,” Alex continues -- probably realizing Luke’s been through enough that day. Luke appreciates that, actually. There’s only one answer he would ever give to Alex and Willie -- only one thing his heart’s ever wanted; Luke can see it now, now that the sound of his heartbeat is pulsing in his ears, now that he feels like he’s both standing on the edge of a mountain, about to take a leap of faith into the crisp winter air below -- and at the same time, on solid ground, in no danger of falling, of stumbling, of getting hurt. He feels safe and exhilarated all at the same time, and this feeling is both familiar and completely new, more amplified than it usually is. Not what he’s used to.

But Luke feels like he’s ready to take the leap now. He still feels guilty, still isn’t actually sure whether his friends -- his family -- would be better off without him. But Alex and Willie have never steered him wrong before.

When he’s sitting in between them, their arms around him and their warm, soft hands running through his hair… Luke feels like maybe he can get through anything.

#julie and the phantoms #julie & the phantoms #jatp #jatp fanfiction #jatp fanfic #luke patterson #alex mercer #willie wilbur williamson #lalexie #angst #prompt fill

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beelshamburger · 4 years

Text

This was my gift for @starautocon for the Obey Me Secret Santa 2020 event! I hope you like it :D

Star looked at the ground as she sat on the chair. Normally she would be comfortable or feel at home in Lucifer’s room, but this time it was different. She was in trouble.

She didn’t mean to hurt the demon so badly. Not like that. But they were being such assholes, they were practically begging for her to beat them up. Those spoiled brats.

They were this demon gang, some guys who were far too cocky and rude. They used to bully whoever they found were weaker than them. Their leader was a complete asshole, and would always tease any little demon that was around.

Eventually, they decided to make fun of Luke.

Hell no.

They started teasing him whenever they passed him by the hall, or found him alone in the classroom, and of course when Star noticed, she had to intervene.

Still, they hadn’t stopped and had decided to tease her instead.

So they had been getting on her nerves for a while, teasing her and insulting her whenever the demon brothers weren’t near. At one point, it had become too much, and before she knew it, Starbreaker was out and she beat those demons to a pulp. She was far too mad, too angry to even think straight. So she didn’t even flinch as she sliced open her opponents arm with her trusty dagger. Or cut off a demons ear.

Before she could get to the third demon though, Satan and Lucifer quickly came inside the classroom and grabbed her arms, trying to restrain her. While Simeon ushered her away to the nurses office, Star watched from the corner of her eye as Lucifer and Satan turned in their demon forms and made their way to the other demons. She smirked, satisfied that at least Satan and Lucifer were going to make those demons regret their actions.

But that didn’t mean she was going to be let off scot free. Lucifer was definetly mad at her, and she knew she was going to get a long lecture when he opened the office door. The demon brothers never liked her getting into fights, they got worried, which was in a way sweet, but still made Star a bit mad that they didn’t seem to believe she could take care of herself.

When Lucifer came into the room, Star could feel the air grow colder, and she tried to suppress a shiver and keep her face as neutral as possible when Lucifer sat in front of her. He was definetly mad.

His face was pulled into a frown, and his eyes burned with anger. Star only stared back, trying to rebel in her own way. After minutes of silence, Lucifer sighed and ran a hand through his hair, leaning back on his chair.

“Will you explain to me why, when I left you alone for around five minutes, I come back to see you all bruised up fighting with some demons?”

Star glared. “They were being dicks to Luke. I was only trying to defend him, not my fault those assholes turned it into a fight.”

“It seems to me that you don’t understand that you’re in a place surrounded by demons, powerful ones at that-”

“I could still beat them up.”

Lucifer raised his hand and Star went quiet.

“I’m not worried about that. I’m more worried about them causing you any fatal wounds, they could still harm you. Besides that, you could be sent back home. You know if any exchange students are caused or cause harm to anyone,they’ll be sent back. Is that what you want?”

Star clenched her fists. “So did you just want me to stand back and watch as they teased Luke?”

“I’m not saying that, what you should have done is to call us, me or Satan, even Barbatos.”

“Oh sure, and not teach those guys a lesson? If I had called any of you, sure, they would have stopped, but just for a little while. They’ll never understand that even weak people can take care of themselves, and they’ll keep teasing eveeyone. By beating them up, I honestly feel like I did them a favor. Now they’ll think twice when they bully someone.”

“Star you can’t just do this sort of thing and expect no consequences. You should think it through-”

“I DID think it through, seriously do you think I’m that stupid? I did know what the consequences are, and I did it knowing what could happen. You have to understand I can take care of myself.”

“Well, what if the situation had gotten out of control? What would you have done if Starbreaker had come out, and you weren’t able to control the outcome? You could have killed those demons, and I won’t be able to get out of that one. Why can’t you just sit still for a while?”

Star quickly shot up from her seat and grabbed Lucifers collar, and angry aura all around her.

“You can’t tell me what to do, stop treating me like a child Lucifer! Why can’t you just trust me for once, trust that I can do things on my own? I’m so tired of everyone treating me like a fragile doll, like I’m lesser than them. I want to be treated just like everyone else, on equal ground.”

Lucifer glared. “Now listen-”

“No! You listen Lucifer! I’m seriously so done with everyone, why can’t all of you understand, I’m not a child.” Star could quickly feel her anger rising, and that Starbreaker was trying to come out. She was getting real pissed off, especially because Lucifer couldn’t seem to...understand.

Lucifer quickly placed a hand on her shoulder, but Star shoved it away. “Seriously Lucifer! I thought that you could understand, yet you still want to treat me like I’m-like I’m, I don’t know a toddler?! Is that how you see me? Because honestly fuck you Lucifer.”

The room once again became colder, and Lucifer stared at you, his calm facade starting to wear off and his anger beginning to rise. Star realized that what she might have done was probably not the best thing, and she felt goosebumps rise at the back of her neck as Lucifer changed into his demon form and walked over to her.

“You don’t get to talk to me that way. I’m the one that’s taking care of you in the exchange program, therefore you do as I say, and I say that you hop off your high horse and try to understand how your actions could affect you, and the people around you. You ask to be treated as a grown up, yet here you are, throwing a tantrum because of something you did. Honestly it just makes me laugh. Sure, you’re powerful the same way me and my brothers are, but that still doesn’t change that you’re human. And don’t even get me started on how most of the times Starbreaker takes over, you loose control, and you know you do. What if you ended up killing those demons, huh? You would’ve been thrown in jail, maybe worse. You don’t know if they’re part of a bigger gang, if they’re friends with higher and more ruthless demons. What if they all wanted to take revenge on you? Star, I know you’re strong but I’m sure you wouldn’t have been able to fight all of them. They would’ve destroyed you sooner or later.”

Star bit her lip. She knew Lucifer was right, in a way. She didn’t know if those demons had other connections, and she really would have been screwed over if a large group were to attack her.

She only looked at the ground and sighed, then mumbled an apology and left the room. Lucifer didn’t stop her. He seemed to understand that she wanted some time alone,to think things thorough, and to calm down.

Star went up to her room.

.......

Eventually Satan gently knocked Star’s door, and came in. Star was sitting on the bed, still pretty angry, and she didn’t react when Satan sat beside her.

They sat in silence for a while, until Satan spoke up. “Why don’t you try that breathing excercise I taught you before?”

Star sighed but complied and did what Satan told her. They had been doing breathing exercises for about half an hour, and she had to admit that now she felt better.

“Thank you Satan.” She said, as she turned around to look at him. He only smiled and then nodded towards the door. “Well...I’m glad I could help....Lucifer is outside the door, by the way.” Star’s eyes widened and Satan shrugged. “I will leave you two to talk it out. As much as I like to mess with him, I hate it if it’s you who ends up with the short end of the stick. If he says anything hurtful though, feel free to call me so I can punch him. I’ll be in the library.”

Star tried to smile to show how grateful she was. Satan had helped her a lot after all.

Satan opened the door to her room, and just like he said, Lucifer was standing outside, waiting for him to leave. Star couldn’t really tell, but she thought she felt the aura around Satan shift as he passed Lucifer. He was probably giving him a death stare to warm him. Star shuddered.

When Satan was gone, Lucifer closed the door and looked at Star. She was trying her best not to look at him directly though. Finally, after a few moments of awkard silence, Lucifer sighed and sat beside Star in her bed.

“I’m sorry.” He said.

Star sighed. “I’m sorry too. I shouldn’t have talked to you like that.”

Lucifer shook his head. “Don’t be. I can understand why you would feel frustrated by the way we’re treating you...you were right. We have been treating you as if you can’t take care of yourself when, you actually can. I want to apologize if it seemed like I didn’t trust you, or as if I thought you were lesser than me. You’re not. I just...I really worry Star.”

“I know...but you have to let me do things for myself. I appreciate your help, but there are thing that I prefer doing on my own.”

“You just have to take better care of yourself Star. You can’t keep throwing yourself at every demon you see.”

Star opened her mouth to protest but Lucifer held up his hand. “Listen. It’s not because I’m afraid that you won’t come out alive or something of the such. I know you are strong. I’m just afraid that there will be a time where you will find someone who’s able to beat you. Not only that, I’m afraid that...you will be taken away. You know the rules of the exchange program, and if you fight other demons, no matter who ends up getting hurt, you will be brought back to earth. We just can’t allow anything bad to happen...and I don’t want you to go away...”

Star looked at Lucifer, wide eyed and blushed a bit. Lucifer had never been one to express his feelings like...like that. Honestly Star had never seen him so vulnerable. It was kind of cute in a way, yet her heart ached as she thought about what she had done. Lucifer was just trying to protect her, but not because he didn’t think she couldn’t do it herself, but because he didn’t want her to leave.

Star gently placed a hand on Lucifer’s shoulder. “I’m really sorry.” She whispered.

Lucifer shook his head, and then leaned his forehead against hers. “You’re just...you’re really important to me. Did you know that? You have changed me and my brother’s lives so much. You have become part of our family, and while doing that you somehow managed to bury yourself deep into my heart. And now I don’t want to let you go.”

Star felt herself blush as she looked up at Lucifer. “I...I really like you Lucifer. I really do. I’m so sorry for...for not being considerate about your feelings...you were trying to take care of me. Thank you. I will never leave you. I promise that I’ll behave.”

Lucifer smirked and in a playful tone replied, “you better, or next time I’m hanging you from the ceiling like Mammon.”

Star gasped. “You do that and I will actually destroy you.”

“I’d like to see you try.”

The both of them smiled, and spent the rest of the evening cuddling. While Star couldn’t really promise not to stop fighting at all, she did say that she would try to control herself a bit more.

Thankfully the demons didn’t come back the next day. Or the next. Or the next. Star wondered what could’ve happened to them, but neither Lucifer or Satan answered her questions. It was until one morning that she heard some classmates talking about the issue. They were both whispering, saying that Lucifer may or may not have done something to them (theories were that he made them carry a Boulder for a thousand years, or that he made them hang upside down for a long time. Others went to other extremes though, saying that Lucifer had literally banished them from existence.) Lucifer never confirmed or denied, but he did say that whatever had happened to them,they deserved. After all, he never really forgave them for hurting Star.

They also became a lot more closer, since Lucifer would spend more time with Star. She felt a bit offended thinking that it may have been because he still didn’t trust her to take care of herself, but she also couldn’t stop feeling that it was maybe because he wanted to be with her all day. And that thought always made her feel giddy. Sometimes alucifer would catch her looking at him (probably because she was still trying to figure out what the hell he wanted) and he would smile at her, this warm, loving smile. And Star would always smile back.

The end!

#obey me secret santa #ObeyMeSecretSanta2020 #obey me #obey me beelzebub #obey me leviathan #obey me mammon #obey me satan #obey me asmodeus #obey me belphegor #obey me lucifer

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padfootagain · 4 years

Text

Balaenoptera Bonaerensis (I)

Chapter 1: Security Measures

This is the first chapter for my fic with a Bodyguard AU for our dear Cap! Thank you so much to @marvelcapsicle, who is hosting the writing challenge this fic is made for.

I hope you like this fanfic, please, read the author's note on the masterlist for this series concerning any link with real events!

I did, however, spent more than 8 hours researching different elements for that story so far, and have no doubt it's just the beginning… being a writer is hard…

Word Count: 3400

"Have I ever told any of you how much I hate our job?"

"Just… twenty times today. And hundreds more if you count all the times we had to wake up early to get on a plane."

"Taking a flight at 4 am doesn't make you 'get up early', it makes you not sleep at all!"

"I'm sorry you couldn't get your baby sleep, Bucky. But there were no better flights available on such a short notice."

"Did we really have to take that job?"

By Natasha's side, on the two seats before Steve and Bucky, Sam snorted, waving the newspaper he was reading to make his point.

"In these days, you should consider yourself lucky to have a job at all," Sam replied, shaking his head. "Seven months since that mess happened in Wall Street, and it's not getting any better."

By the window, Steve took a look at the clouds they flew across, cotton-like forms drifting slowly against the blue sky. He didn't react at all as the plane shook with turbulences, too used to flying by now to even truly notice. And if his blue eyes rested on the white puffs of water outside, his mind was set on work already. The file where he had gathered the information he had found - in the little time he had had to prepare their new job - was set open on his laps. He had stopped listening to his colleagues somewhere above the Pacific Ocean. Now that they were en route towards Townsville, having changed their flight in Darwin, he had stopped to act like he was listening altogether. Maybe others would have taken it badly, but his three partners were too used to his working routine to think anything of his behaviour. And as they flew across a cloud, the world turning solely into shades of white and light grey, Steve wondered who could have sent the threats that had pushed the editor of the Townsville Bulletin to hire Steve and his team to protect one of his journalist and three scientists they worked with. Apparently, it had something to do with the scientists' study of whales, although Steve couldn’t possibly imagine why someone would want to kill anyone about a study of the population of whales in Antarctica. That was beyond him.

But the threats were real, and at the thought, his eyes travelled back to the printed letters that were sent in an attempt to stop the research, and he had no doubt that it was a threat to take seriously. The message was, after all, quite explicit. Besides, they were paying for his services, so even if the threat wasn't real, it didn't exactly matter. He wouldn't complain about an easy job for once.

However, he wasn't sure to find who could have sent the threat. In the week he had been given to prepare his departure, he couldn't really find any lead. He reckoned that talking with the people involved would help clarify the situation, or at least, he hoped so.

He went through the file again, memorizing the names and faces of the people he would have to protect for the coming months.

Sofia Longbrook – PhD student

Dr. Rosa Alvarez Santiago – Postdoctoral researcher

Dr. Y/N Y/L/N – Researcher

Luke Savoy – Journalist

Lucy McGreed – Lawyer

Joshua Alexander – Lawyer

If the threats had been pointed towards only the journalist and the research team, chances were that the two lawyers involved in this whale study might get threatened as well soon.

At least three locations for their professions were to be secured, even without taking into account the lawyers for now. Plus each of their homes. And having some of them working on a major campus that held thousands of students would be a challenge to say the least. Adding to that limited resources, So much work to be done…

The voice of the flight attendant cut Steve's thoughts, forcing him back to reality. They would soon be landing. While he folded his papers and fastened his seatbelt, the plane slowly descending under the clouds, he checked the address of the hotel he had booked one more time. After dropping by the hotel, they would meet with the people who had hired them to discuss how the security could be handled, and more importantly, what kind of threats they were truly facing.

In the seats before ad next to him, Sam and Bucky were bickering, as usual, and he chose to ignore them for now.

All he hoped for was a smooth, calm mission for a change.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

"This whole ordeal is absolutely ridiculous, Mark."

"Look, for the last time, Y/N: you've received threats. I will not sit down and wait to see if they were serious or not. You don't want to stop your research, and for some unknown reason, my reporter also refuses to drop the story, so all we are left with as alternative is to hire professionals who will keep you safe."

You rolled your eyes, crossing your arms before your chest.

"Look, we're talking about a trade. About something that involves money," Mark continued to argue. "And just like everything else that involves money, it is not so surprising to find people ready to go to extreme ways to deal with whatever goes in the way of their profit."

"I know, but…"

"No 'but'. By the way, Richard, I could use some help."

The director of your lab turned to you, but could only shrug.

"Honestly, I don't know what to say."

"You don't agree that it was the right decision to hire professional security?" the editor of Townsville newspaper asked with a frown.

"No, no, I think you were right to propose that," Richard replied, shaking his large moustache as he spoke. "All I'm saying is that Y/N is so stubborn, I really don't know what you want me to say."

You rolled your eyes again, but the ghost of a smile appeared on your lips this time.

"I just think that we're overreacting. Opinion with which you disagree, so I have to follow your and Richard's lead anyway."

"Exactly! Thank you!"

"I have to admit that I'll feel safer with a bodyguard around," Sofia, your PhD student, added. "Plus, if the one in charge of us at the lab could be a very sexy American wearing a tuxedo and dark sunglasses, that would be even better."

"They've hired bodyguards, Sofia," you replied. "Not Agent J."

"Aren't bodyguards supposed to dress up like that all the time? Kevin Costner was all dressed up too in that movie with the singer!"

"I don't know, honestly. I have to admit that I have never asked myself that question."

"I feel like the conversation has drifted…" Mark tried to bring your attention to the matter at hand, but he had already lost you and your colleagues.

"You have to admit that it's a rather good question!" Richard jumped in.

"Maybe they'll even have this kind of earpiece, you know, with the wire and everything," Sofia went on, a dreamy expression on her face as she tried to picture in her mind how her bodyguard would look like.

"They've hired only four of them," you replied. "I don't think they'll need any earpiece."

"Which, by the way, doesn't sound like much security," Joshua added. "I mean, shouldn't we all have one personal bodyguard?"

"There were no threats against you and Lucy, so…" Mark replied with a shrug.

"Of course, let the lawyers defenceless, as usual."

"What do you mean 'as usual'?"

"Ha… nevermind. I guess it's just my fate to die like this. You know, according to my astral theme I'm supposed to die a violent death."

"If you mention astrology again today, I can guarantee that you will die a violent death," you replied, pinching the sides of your nose.

"Sorry, but I'm nervous. And I always ask the stars when I'm nervous."

"Are they more talkative than Jesus? Or is the line busy for them as well?" Richard mocked, earning a kick from under the table.

Mark let himself fall down on a chair, heaving a dramatically tired sigh.

"You know, working with you guys, who are supposed to have brilliant minds and all that, kind of brought down my expectations on life."

None of you bothered to reply to his comment, too busy discussing the bodyguards who would soon arrive.

Indeed, you waited now for their arrival, all of you gathered in a meeting room in your lab. The Marine and Aquaculture labs at the James Cook University formed a large ensemble of buildings, from the tanks used for experiments and research to the offices where you were now. The buildings were often referred as MARFU for Marine and Aquaculture Research Facilities Units. They were not the most impressive buildings of the campus, and yet their research was among the most advanced in the world in terms of understanding marine life. The studied topics were vast, and your own little team was but a fraction of the people devoting their lives to understand and protect sea life.

On the north-east coast of Australia, Townsville held one of the four campuses of the James Cook University, one of the main institutions in the country. Hidden behind the large medical centre, on the south tip of the town, the university stretched to the edge of the wilder areas of Mount Stuart, the town stuck between its slope and the ocean. The white buildings for Marine Sciences research were all gathered on the eastern part of the campus, in an ensemble of about 20 separate buildings.

You were for now waiting in one of the meeting rooms on the first floor of the main building for Marine and Aquaculture, looking around you at the blank white walls and wooden tables and chairs. A poster for the defence of sharks was hung on one wall, the light of the sun falling partially on its dark blue shades, causing the colours to wane after years of exposure to the too bright rays of the Australian sun. In the corner of the room, up to the ceiling, a spider had threaded its web, but it was only a little one, and none of you could be bothered chasing the arachnid away.

While your colleagues kept on bickering, your own mind wandered off, drifting back towards the element that had caused all this to happen.

You remembered getting the letter at your office, opening it without worry, thinking it was merely linked to your research. You were expecting some documents for a field trip with your students after all.

Instead, you found a letter reading that if you didn't stop your surveys on whales, you would pay for the consequences of your actions. If the word 'killing' was not explicit, the meaning hiding behind their phrasing was evident, and whoever had sent you this letter was ready to use violent ends to shush your voice.

Clearly, whoever they were, they had never met you in person, or they would have known that threats would be far from enough to make you back down.

Nevertheless, Mark and Richard had decided that it was best to call professionals. Apparently, Richard had a friend in the security business, who had recommended the team he and Mark had hired. Why did they have to go to all the trouble to hire Americans, that was another mystery in this crazy story, but you simply accepted whoever they chose, as your complaints were dismissed.

You doubted heavily that anything would actually happen. You were a researcher, and none of your work was secret. If it had turned into a political stance over the past few years, it was still not a secret. All your colleagues in the lab knew about your research. You had asked for help from the press and a law firm when you realized that your research might have more impact that you had thought of on an international scale; yet, here again, you were not trying to keep any secret. What were they going to do? Destroy the entire university? If whaling held a lot of potential money, it was still no reason to make so much damage, at least, not in your mind.

When you started to investigate the migrations of whales in Antarctica, nothing could have made you think that you would come to discover that a Japanese research program was misused. If your accusation that it was merely a cover story for killing whales and selling their meat had always been denied by the Japanese authority, over the course of the past years, it had become your crusade to shut down the whole program. One could not, after all, excuse the killing of hundreds of animals and call it 'science', not in our day and age, at least.

You knew you had made enemies by taking a stand. You had never tried to hide your purpose. It didn't seem to you that it was a game people would play with death and threats. Maybe you were wrong, though.

And now you were up to get a bodyguard follow you everywhere. That was probably the most ridiculous position you had ever found yourself into.

Who would be your guardian angel though? Your mind started to play a game, trying to picture features and hair and clothes, and you found it funny to imagine a rather large sixty-year-old bald man wearing a cowboy hat and a heavy Texan accent as your protector for the coming weeks.

Just as you settled on an image, Richard was called by the reception as the four bodyguards had arrived. And when the four of them stepped into the room minutes later, Sofia gave you a look that meant I told you so.

And indeed, they were all wearing suits, which you imagined was not that comfortable considering it was a warm 27°C outside and quite humid after the strong rains of the day before.

And well, they were all pretty… attractive people, you guessed. As you introduced yourself to each of them, you kept on thinking about how much your two female colleagues would make your life annoying for the whole duration of this nonsense, gushing about their bodyguards.

Everyone took place around the circle of tables at the centre of the room. A little bit of small talk went on for a moment while they were all served coffee, about their flight, and their accommodation here in Townsville, but the man in charge, Steve, soon became more serious.

"We've started to research suspects, but for now I have to admit that we couldn't pinpoint any individual as being a threat in your direct acquaintances."

"To be completely honest, we highly doubt that it's coming from anyone we are close to," Richard answered.

"Not any colleagues, or a rival from another paper?"

"No, no one comes to mind. The only suspects for us would be someone linked to the whaling industry, as Dr. Y/L/N's research could have negative impact on their business, if we manage to give it a proper exposure."

"No one else is working on this project, you're all here?" Natasha asked, and you nodded.

"On the research side we are three active scientists on the project, plus our boss Richard. Luke here is our link with the press, and Mark his editor. Lucy and Joshua are advising us on legal issues."

"Why? Does your research break the law?" Bucky asked, lifting his eyes from the notebook where he had been taking notes.

"No, of course not. On the contrary, we think someone else is breaking the law."

"Our final goal is to bring the situation to an international court," Lucy added. "That's why we're helping them."

"And the two of you didn't receive any threat?"

"No, none."

"What about the police?" Sam inquired.

"They have no lead. They asked for the University to strengthen their security," Mark answered. "The investigation is still on-going, but for now they have nothing. And a simple letter is not enough for them to dispatch officers, which is why we called you."

"As we have discussed before, we have made arrangements to stay here for three months. We'll assess the situation again in a few weeks, to see if you would like to extend your contract or not."

Mark and Richard nodded in silent agreement.

"We're going to need to make an inspection of the facilities to determine which areas are the most dangerous. Same for your personal homes. We'll spend a couple of days adjusting to the situation. Do you all work in different buildings at the University?"

"No, all three of us share the same lab, and Sofia and Rosa have the same office, mine is next door to theirs," you answered. "But I teach, and the classes take place on the other side of the campus for the most part."

"Alright," Steve nodded, and he seemed to be thinking hard. "We're going to take a look around, and one of us will be assigned to each of you who has received direct threats. If you want, we can take a look at your workplace tomorrow as well, and give you a few advices on how to lower the risks," he added to the two lawyers, before focusing on the rest of the group again. "Ms. Romanov will be in charge of Mr. Savoy, Mr. Barnes and Wilson will protect Ms. Longbrook and Dr. Alvarez Santiago, and I'll be protecting you, Dr. Y/L/N. We're going to take a look at all the areas where you go here, in these facilities, and tonight we'll check your homes. We'll continue our investigation as well to find who has threatened you. Depending on how large the areas we have to cover are, we might have to use cameras as well."

"We'll show you around, if you want," Richard offered, and you were all soon leaving the meeting room.

Steve had already studied the map of the building, but he did find some interesting details that were worth writing down. Some areas difficult to see from afar, and other hidden corners. He would have thought that the lab would be a challenge, but it was tidy and ended up not being a problem at all. You showed him your office while Natasha was leaving for the newspaper headquarters, and Bucky and Sam were taking a look at your colleagues' office. Steve walked around, checked the windows and what was outside, looking for an angle from which a shooter could fire.

"It would be safer to move your desk a little closer to the door," he advised. "That way, there's no chance anyone outside can see you by the window."

"Okay," you nodded, hiding your annoyance, and helping him move your stuff around the room.

Luckily, none of the piles of files on your desk fell, and in a matter of minutes, Steve seemed satisfied.

You checked the time. It was quite late already, but you still had a couple of things to finish tonight, you hoped to keep on working at the office for a little longer.

Steve exited the room to talk with his colleagues for a moment, and when he came back, he asked you if you could stay at the office for a while, which matched your plans perfectly.

"I need to talk to the security on site, and take a look at the building where you give your classes. Please, don't go home without me, ma'am."

You gave him a smile.

"I was going to ask you if I could have more time before going home, I have still some work to do. And, please, call me Y/N. Anyway, you would have to call me doctor, not madam," you joked. "Let's keep it simple though."

Steve gave you a little, pinched smile, but shook his head.

"It wouldn't be very professional of me, doctor. I'll be back soon. Mr. Barnes will stay in the corridor, if you need anything."

"Alright, thank you then, sir."

He gave you a nod and exited the room, closing the door halfway behind him, probably so that his colleagues could keep an eye on you from the corridor.

You heaved a sigh and unlocked your laptop.

Of course, you had to fall on Mr. Serious out of all people, huh?

These were long, long three months awaiting you…

**********************************************************

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darth-schism · 4 years

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Proposed Timeline for Sequel Repair

(Disclaimer: Obviously the plot of each of the following shows should be their own. But they should also take the time to fill in the gaps, plot holes, and basically screw ups the sequels caused. Again, if we can’t have a pocket timeline, we should at least get appropriate plot repair/retcon).

(And yes, there will be overlap between this and other post. But this blog is where I dump all my mental Star Wars related ramblings, so whatcha gonna do)? : P

*10 ABY: Mandalorian S3.

- We learn Moff Gideon is one of the few inside men on Palpatine’s resurrection plan. We get details on how the Emperor used his own DNA, force abilities, etc to make the perfect new vessel. The series ends with Din visiting Grogu at Luke’s temple, and Snoke’s “birth” on Exegol.

- There is overlap between Snoke’s mind and Palpatine’s. More accurately, Snoke is his own person, but has much of Palpatine’s feelings/memories. The sith cult/inside men are uncertain if it is their Emperor in a different body, a clone, or an entirely new person. To ensure the success of the plan, the cult puts off putting Snoke on the throne right away, and instead retains him for evaluation. Snoke though, despite being a mental mess, gives the order to kidnap as many infants as possible, to ensure an “entirely pure” army of new stormtroopers.

*15 ABY: Ahsoka Series.

- Ahsoka faces off against Thrawn, as he works to fully organize and restore the Empire. At the series close, Snoke appears from Exegol, and initiates his hostile take over of the Empire. He rebrands it under the banner of the First Order.

- It is revealed that Snoke showed a high interest in “returning his master to life,” which caused the cult to concluded that he was not the Emperor, and that they would have to try again. They are uncertain as to how though, in light of Snoke being a “failure.” But Snoke then adds his DNA, and significant power, to the resurrection project. Through his efforts, he made the phantom clone of the Emperor that we see in ROS. (Maybe we could even get a Kamino throwback with Bobba, since he tends to lend the Empire and hand here and there for the right price anyway). Either way, the newly awakened Palpatine realizes his reformation will be too slow, and gives Snoke the order to rule over the Empire in his place, while he instructs him from the shadows. He makes it very clear that Snoke is “merely his puppet that he made to speak through.” He also orders his agent to “deal with his wayward lineage” (Aka, Rey’s parents).

* 25 ABY: Book of Bobba series.

- By now Palpatine and Snoke have collectively used their voices to lure Ben Solo to the darkside, and Luke’s temple is left in ruin. Din Jarin makes an appearance, as he wants Grogu found. He and Bobba are confronted by Luke, who simply tells them that, for Grogu’s sake, they must cease their search. However, he eventually relents, and takes only Din to see his son like figure. Luke explains that he and his students must move in utmost secrecy, as Snoke’s ability to reach across the galaxy and connect his mind to others is uncanny.

- We get a flashback of Luke confronting Snoke immediately after the destruction of his temple in an effort to get Ben back. There’s a cool fight, in which Snoke is badly injured, but ultimately Luke is forced to retreat without Ben. Snoke reins destruction down on every place he thinks Luke his hiding, which brings Luke to the conclusion that he must not only go into hiding, but also give reason for Snoke chase him, without feeling a need to blow innocent people up in mass. Thus the map to Luke Skywalker, and his isolation began.

- As a bonus, it would be cool if Han, Luke, and Bobba became an unlikely team to address the threat of a common enemy. Personally I like the idea of evil Mace Windu. But we’ll see.

- Han and Lando also meet up at some point, and talk about how both of them lost a child to Snoke, with Ben having been turned, and Lando’s daughter having been kidnapped.

- The series ends with Palpatine talking to Snoke on Exegol again. He tells him that he realizes he has a granddaughter, one who wasn’t a “disappointment like her father.” He explains to Snoke they can use her to fully resurrect him via a sith ritual (as his current form is still blind and corpse like). He also instructs Snoke to bring him Ben, as he is “ready to see his new apprentice.” However, Snoke realizes that even though he and the Emperor speak through each other, and have their thoughts overlap, that he is still far more than just a puppet. So he reminds Palpatine not only of the rule of two, but also that for as much as Palpatine made him, he also made Palpatine. And while Palpatine’s growth was slow, his was complete. And now that he had an apprentice, he didn’t need him. So Snoke, despite Palpatin’s protests and claim to authority over him, disables Palpatine’s reformation process, which traps him as the near talking corpse we see in ROS. He tells him that he won’t kill him if he continues to oversee the operations of Exegol, and doesn’t try anything funny. He then leaves, to take complete and total control of the First Order.

* 30 ABY: Rangers of the New Republic.

- Snoke is in full swing with his attempt to take over the galaxy. However, his efforts are scattered and constantly distracted by his obsession to find and kill Skywalker. Ever since their fight which left Snoke physically and emotionally vulnerable (not that he’d ever admit it) Snoke’s mind was bent on revenge. He was certain the mere existence of Skywalker would see everything he had worked for to be undone. We get some scenes (both current and flashbacks) of just how cruel the Supreme Leader was/is to his apprentice (Just to make his death in TLJ not only surprising, but feel like a good pay off). Snoke’s obsession with finding the map to Skywalker, draws attention to its existence for the show’s heroes. They find it and, with R2D2′s help, and arrive on Luke’s island.

- As I described in another post, Luke puts on an act to try and make them leave and think nothing of him being there. And although much of this is because of Luke’s emotional suffering, it is also an evaluation. Through it, the Jedi Master quickly realizes that the ranger’s aren’t asking for him to be a public symbol of hope (as he can no longer do that for the above mentioned reasons) but someone who can accomplish a critical mission that would be impossible for anyone else. Luke explains a little bit more as to why he was isolated, why he had to be so careful, and why he won’t be trying to make a Jedi order anytime soon. But at the end of the day, he states that he would never actually abandon the galaxy to Snoke, and that this wasn’t the first time he’s snuck off to handle matters like this. And so we get another fun mission episode with Luke. During the mission, Luke recovers a file on a stormtrooper (who we see to be Jannah). He makes mention that Lando never gave up going to “all kinds of strange places in the galaxy” to find his lost daughter. Sensing through the force that this trooper might be the one, he takes the information.

- At the end of the mission, Luke mindwipes the rangers’ memories of finding and working with him, and sends the file information about Jannah to Lando, and the map fragment out once again to distract Snoke, and guide the right people to him. Luke returns to the island. We see that the strain of having to turn on his force abilities for a mission, only to turn them off again right away to prevent Snoke from finding him, causes serious toll on his body.

- We get a scene where Snoke asks if the agent who had killed the Emperor’s son had ever been found. To which no is the answer. Snoke is agitated, but ultimately dismissive of this, and simply assures those around him that if he ever encountered the one he believed to be the Emperor’s granddaughter, he would see to it that she died. This would ensure that the phantom clone of Palpatine could never rise high enough to challenge his position as Supreme Leader.

(I’m sure I’ll think of more to add to this. But these are the big ones for now: Establish First Order --> Make Snoke an actual character --> Establish the phantom Emperor --> Show that Luke hadn’t actually given up --> Solidify Rey’s lineage --> Make Lando not come off as a creeper).

#star wars #lando calrissian #jannah #luke skywalker #kylo ren #ben solo #book of boba fett #rangers of the new republic #ahsoka series #the mandalorian #the mandalorian season 3 #snoke #supreme leader snoke

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twoidiotwriters1 · 4 years

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Home- Chapter 7 (Kylo Ren/Ben Solo x F!Oc)

A/N: School: Must do a two page essay.

Me: I can’t do iiiiit

Also me: Write a fanfic of 2,491 words. WUUUUUUU

Words: 2,491

Masterlist

Chapter 6

"Enough!"

I breathe hard and open my eyes. I'm back in the black room, on my knees near the bathroom door. I turn back and Kylo is also on the ground. His face is covered in sweat

"What was that?" I say in a whisper. "Did you see it too?”

Kylo doesn't take his eyes off me and nods slowly. Then he shakes his head, stands up, and leaves the room without saying anything.

I stay on the floor for a moment, but my leg starts to hurt, so I get up and go to the bathroom. I don't understand what just happened and it's even more confusing that it connected with Kylo. I shake my head and bring my hands to my hair pushing it away from my face, I look around.

"Is everything black?" I whisper when I see the shower, I snort at the color selection.

On the far wall is the sink and above it is a mirror, I bite my lip. I dare not go closer and see my reflection, I know that my face is disgusting. I go to the shower and press a button so that the water begins to come out, I wait for the temperature to regulate while I take off my clothes very carefully and enter the jet of water, luckily the patches that cover my wounds are waterproof, or I hope so, because I didn't think about it before.

After a few minutes, I leave the bathroom wrapped in a towel and walk to the closet, from which I take some light pants, a simple blouse and some shoes... all black. I look at some drawers and grab underwear, ignoring the thought that want to enter my brain about Kylo choosing those clothes.

After getting dressed, I sit in the middle of the bed, my eyes fixed on the door.

That memory, back at the temple… I was 8 years old, I had only been training for a couple of months. The only other person besides Luke I was talking to was Ben, even though we weren't close friends yet, we actually got together to avoid the other students.

A lot of time has passed. We are not the same people. Is he also thinking the same? It was strange…

I haven't been in connection with the force in a while, maybe the return to the forest caused this, maybe everything is out of control inside me and Kylo was close, so he could see the same as me. An accidental connection.

I growl, I don't like being lost in all this Jedi and Sith stuff, strength, balance, I feel like the first days of training.

The hours pass and without realizing it, my body falls into the comfort of the bed and I fall asleep. All the weight of the days of torture, the "chat" with Snoke, the connection disappears for a few hours.

What wakes me up is the door being opened by a little droid. I sit down and rub my eyes as I yawn. The droid checks my wounds and leaves a tray of food and water. I watch all its movements in silence until it finishes and it approaches the door, but before leaving, it raises a robotic arm towards a box and it lights up.

I frown, hadn't noticed there was a datapad. The machine presses buttons and the door opens and closes when you are outside. An idea crosses my head.

But before I can do something, I eat what it has brought me, I can’t waste any food. I put everything in its place and walk slowly towards the datapad, I slide my finger on the screen from one side to the other, but it only allows me to enter the options to ask for food, clothes or help the droids. I groan. Sure, it shouldn't be easy to get out of this stupid and boring room, but there must be some way.

I look down and see some hope, I sit on the floor, stretching my injured leg. On the wall, there is a protruding box, most likely behind it are the operating connections for the entire room. I touch the edges and apply pressure, but it’s sealed.

For the next hour I try to open the box with everything in my power: I started with a hook, then I broke a hose that was in the shower (the bathroom is a mess), then I took one of the drawers out of a nightstand and threw it against the wall, but nothing worked.

I sigh in frustration, sitting down again against the wall.

"Damn it," I growl and punch the center of the box, causing the panel to open. I look at the small door in surprise and smile.

But my celebration doesn't last long as I see so many different colored cables intertwined, I sigh and move closer. I pull one to the other, I press buttons, causing the room to go crazy, suddenly the lights turn on and off like the air conditioning, but my biggest surprise is to see that the image of the window changes to different landscapes.

“Brilliant…" I keep trying until the door opens.

"Yes!" I shout in victory raising my arms and standing as fast as my leg allows, but my emotion is interrupted by another presence. I look up and Kylo looks at me with a raised eyebrow.

"What are you supposed to be doing?” He frowns and checks the room "What the fuck?" he mutters, walks through the bathroom and realizes the mess, then turns around ready to scold me, but his attention drifts to the wall panel and he gets it.

His sight now focuses on me, I smile innocently and he touches the bridge of his nose closing his eyes for a few seconds, when he opens them, I put my arms behind my back.

"Someone came and destroyed everything,” He shakes his head and I'm sure he struggles not to laugh, he moves his mouth and clears his throat.

"Come with me, I’ll show you the training room," He turns his back to me and leaves the room.

I walk slowly and find two stormtroopers on either side of the door, I wince. Even if I could have opened the door, the watchdogs wouldn't let me go that easy.

"Did you think it would be that simple?" Kylo says looking sideways at me.

"Of course not," I sigh.

It was stupid, but I had nothing else to do anyway.

We continue down the corridors, I stay behind him without paying attention, some soldiers salute at Kylo with fear and politeness. Being distracted I don’t realize the moment we arrived, so I collide with his body, he stops in front of a door.

"Sorry," I whisper.

He touches a screen and the door opens and we both enter.

The area is huge and has several sections for training, like in the Jedi temple. I shiver at the memory.

"You know, I can't move that much," Kylo walks away and takes off the huge black cape.

"We'll start with meditation," He reaches a corner where there’s a mat and sits down crossing his long legs. I imitate him and sit in front of him, stretching my injured leg. We’re watching each other for a few minutes.

"It hurts?" I say pointing to the wound on his face.

"You must remember how to connect with the force,” He ignores me, I roll my eyes.

"Rey has a good arm, I'm surprised you still have a nose," He inhales and exhales calmly, containing his anger. "And she doesn't even workout. That must bother you,” I continue smiling.

"You must feel around you-"

"You know this is useless, I won’t go to the dark side.” His features harden.

"Do you think you have any other choice? You can’t escape, you’re hurt and if you can get out of here, you have nowhere to go. You’ll die in less than a week.” I raise an eyebrow.

"I can take care of myself, I did it for a long time…” I mutter and he smiles.

His eyes analyze me carefully.

"You weren't completely alone," He approaches my body. "Your weakness… Han Solo” I frown.

"How dare you?" His legs manage to touch mine.

"I can see your memories, you let your guard down when I said his name,” Shit. I close my mind again to any intruder and he laughs.

I bite the inside of my cheek when I listen to his laugh I can notice that now's more serious, although it sounds different, what it causes in me has not changed and that bothers me.

"What will happen if you fail?" His wolfish smile disappears.

"Failures must be punished,” He raises an eyebrow.

"Okay, if I don't finish the super effective Sith training,” I say rolling my eyes. "Why am I so important? Why does Snoke need me to be on his side? If you fail, he’ll hurt you or may even kill you. Don't you worry?”

He thinks his answer carefully.

"You must not question your supreme leader" I roll my eyes. Now I get closer.

"I know you well,” My face reaches his chin. "You want to know, but you are afraid.” His body tenses.

"Don't continue something that you know will end badly," I shake my head.

“You’re just a lost boy. A stupid one,”It seems that he wants to say something, but he stops and closes his eyes, I look at him confused.

When he opens them again, he forces himself to relax.

“You must avoid these emotions. Han Solo's death, the abandonment of your family, the temple incident–”

“Temple's attack," I correct.

“If you want to finish the training, you must suppress them or put them in your favor. All that anger and helplessness can serve you–“

“You're impossible!" I cover my face with both hands.

The pain in my temple returns and everything around me disappears.

"Come on, Ben, at this point we can see the whole island" I say walking.

“We have been here a long time. We must go back!” He answers behind me.

"You were the one with the idea, genius" I hear his growl.

"I thought you didn't want to miss dinner"

"Just a little more…“

We walk among the trees and find a hill. We go to a part where the trees end and the sunlight is bright. We share an excited look and rush to where the terrain ends, a flat space and then a cliff. Very carefully, we approach the shore.

I’m surprised to see the beautiful landscape before my eyes.

“Great…” the wind and the breeze crash against my body.

"It was worth skipping dinner," Ben whispers next to me and I laugh.

The sun is slowly setting. We were silent for a long time. “

I think we should go back now,” his voice interrupts the moment, I understand his concern, there are only a few minutes left so that everything is in complete darkness, but I just don't want to leave.

"Just a few more minutes…”

“Kiara," I roll my eyes and watch him.

“Come on, Ben. Just a little more!” He looks around indecisively. "Don't be boring.” He frowns.

"I'm not boring.”

"Then stop complaining."

"You should stop throwing a tantrum, we can come back tomorrow.”

"Ben, this is beautiful. How do you not want to stay here?"

"Sure, I forgot that your home is a garbage can, you have never seen anything like this" Now I look at him annoyed.

"Hey, quit that tone, I just want to see-"

"Yes yes, whatever…”

"Stop acting like this!” He raises his eyebrows and his annoyance is replaced by a mocking smile.

"Act as..?”

"Like a fool.” He laughs.

"Good insult. Now let's go back."

"I see why the other children can't stand you.”

"They can't stand that I'm better, they’re jealous"

"And what do you do about it? Instead of helping them, you just humiliate them”

"They don't matter to me.”

“Obviously…”

"Wait," He shakes his head, these changes are very fast. "I don't have to discuss this with a girl like you.”

He turns his back on me and I look down and pick up a small rock from the floor and throw it right at his head. He stops at the blow and turns to face me.

“What– You want to play with this way?"

It happens too fast: our bodies collide and the fight begins; I pull his hair and he pulls mine. I hit his stomach, he twists my arm, we scream in pain. At one point we’re both on the ground, very close to shore and before anyone can do anything, part of the ground falls under our weight.

I feel the lack of floor in my legs and my body falls, but Ben's arms manage to pull me back up. I fall onto my shoulder and the last thing I see is how my friend's body falls off the cliff.

“Ben!”

I crawl to avoid falling and look down. I let out a sigh of relief, which doesn't last long.

A part of the cliff protrudes a few meters from where I am, this prevented Ben from falling into the sea. My breathing is very fast and my heart is going a thousand per hour. I walk away again and look around, the darkness now reigns throughout the place, making the forest darker.

“Ok... ok..." I try to focus. "Ben fell... he's unconscious, I must– I must ask for help!” I get up and turn to the forest.

I can't do it, I can’t see anything and it will take too long.

"Oh no, no, no" I walk back and forth in despair.

Maybe if I scream too loud– no, that won't work. I can't waste time. I have no ropes to pull it with, if I also fall, it’ll be our downfall, no one can find us and we’ll die.

"Agh!" Finally, an idea arrives. I hope it works. I bite my lower lip.

I walk over to the shore again and cross my legs, control my breathing and close my eyes.

I feel the earth below me, I hear the birds singing, nocturnal animals, trees, the water hitting the rocks… With each breath it’s an effort, until I slowly open my eyes.

Ben's body levitates a short distance from me. The force breaks and before his body falls again, I take his arm and with all my effort I pull him as far as I can from the cliff.

“Ben…” a line of blood runs down his forehead to his cheek.

"We must take him to a healer.” The voice startles me and I turn to meet Luke.

“Wh– Were you here the whole time?”

“There's no time, his body’s weak." He approaches and takes Ben in his arms.

Taglist: @oopsiedoopsie23

@blackheartedspider

@fandomshit6000

#Ben solo #Kylo Ren #Star wars fanfic #Ben solo x reader #Kylo ren x reader #Star wars #Home #twoidiots writing

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scrapyardboyfriends · 5 years

Text

Caught up on 3 weeks of Emmerdale that I’ve been avoiding. Haha. I definitely needed that 3 week break though because I was not ready to just move on from Robert that first week after he left. And binge watching it all way after the fact makes it a lot more palatable and certain parts of it less painful because I’d seen all the Aaron stuff in gifs already and I’d already gotten a lot of my frustrations out about all that.

Of everything from these last three weeks, I think I’ve enjoyed the Lydia stuff the most. I mean I hate the thought of them giving her a ticking time bomb of an eventual death sentence with this Huntington’s thing but I think it’s great that they’re expanding her family and giving her more focus. It’s hard to believe that she started out as a bit part grief counselor that Jimmy met for a comedy plot. She’s become such a great character since then and it’s so nice to see.

I also enjoyed the general teen focus. I mean, the Sarah/Danny stuff is really kind of random and I don’t really know where they’re going with all of that but I like that her need to experience more of life has given the teens more to do. And I like her and Noah hanging out and him sort of trying to look out for her. And Samson having something to say about it all. It’s been really nice seeing Gabby again. I’ve missed her. I hope they do give her a real storyline again some day but until then, it’s nice seeing her in a background and supporting role. I like her actually being friends with Leanna now and I’ve liked seeing her and Leanna and Dee Dee altogether even if Dee Dee’s accent still drives me insane. Haha.

I wasn’t sure what the Jacob stuff was going to be like from the live blogging I’ve been reading but it wasn’t quite as bad as I thought it would be. I mean, boy still needs therapy badly because he’s clearly so messed up. But I’m glad Maya getting out did at least bring all of this stuff back up and give it a chance to escalate and arrive at some kind of attempt at closure. I still think it would have been better to do this months ago rather than letting it sit for this long but I’m glad it wasn’t dropped and that they built on everything that they’d done before with Priya too. I’m still not sure Jacob totally gets what Maya did to him but hopefully he’s at least starting to. I do agree that David’s methods were not the best and haven’t been since he found out because he should have gotten him help ages ago instead of leaving him to fend for himself and hoping he’d just get over it. I guess we’ll see where it goes from here. It does break my heart that he equates people being nice to him with wanting to have sex with him. That is not good.

I felt bad for Leanna in the whole thing but again, it was nice to have a focus on teen stories and let Gabby support her a bit and I liked Liv FINALLY being able to talk to people her own age and have coffee with Gabby and yell at Jacob. This is where Liv needs to be more often.

The Vanity break up stuff was interesting. I still don’t like that this break up came off the back of the casino job which seemingly came out of nowhere. The thing is that their break up addressed very real issues, which I believe that they would have. I liked that they tied in Vanessa’s visit with her mum and how she felt about Frank into how Vanessa feels about Charity doing all of her scheming. It’s just that I don’t think we got enough of that stuff before this to have this be some kind of payoff. They’ve been too lax with them. They haven’t been sharing as many scenes. They have sort of forgotten their wedding prior to it now being an excuse Charity was saving money. So even though the break up made a lot of sense for their characters in terms of the issues they were fighting about, I don’t think the build up was there. And certainly the fallout wasn’t. I kind of preferred them broken up and just being bad at it because they were still talking all the time. That’s the most interested in them I’ve been in them in a while. Although since there was zero build up to their break up drama, I’m not sure how it could have lasted much longer than it did considering that they kept having scenes together anyway and there was really not much stopping them getting back together. But I think they should have let it go on for way longer and tried to find something in there to make it worth while rather than just Charity swearing she’ll change. But who knows, maybe this won’t last and this was papering over the cracks and Charity will screw up again as she always does and then they’ll have a longer break up and they’ll get more out of it.

On a Cain and Moira front...god. Hahaha. I was cracking up at that scene where she was just trying so hard to find a reason why she had the affair. Because there wasn’t one. It was dumb. Haha. That story is still such a mess. I did like Moira and Laurel talking though. That was nice. I just really can’t stand watching Cain and Moira in scenes together right now. I hope they keep them apart for a good long while. I was glad to see Matty and Vic and Amy all speaking to each other because of this plot though. So I guess there’s that.

Everything involving Kerry is still awful. I can’t believe she’s just going to get away with all of this Frank stuff. And Amy too. I mean, there’s obviously a very real possibility it will all come out in the end. These things usually do. But then...many many people still don’t know who shot Robert. So...who knows. But it’s bad. I’m very done with Kerry. And I hope they don’t put her back with Dan because what’s the point? And if they don’t do that, why is she even there at all at this point? Amy at least is still a mostly viable character even though I still want the truth to come out for her too just so she can move on from that.

The Arthur/Archie stuff was...a thing. It’s a lot. I mean I don’t know that Arthur would really go quite that dark so suddenly but it’s an interesting concept. A little curious and a little scared of where it will go. But both kids are doing a good job with it. Also glad Jai and Laurel are back on track for the moment.

Graham and Rhona is umm...also a thing. Haha. It’s not terrible but he’s still so robotic it’s weird. Obviously not going to last though so who cares. It is what it is for now and it’s more tolerable than him hanging onto Kim.

Speaking of Kim, I have no idea why she’s taken a sudden interest in Nate. Or why she’d be giving him Wylie’s if that’s true. All so weird.

The Billy/Dawn stuff is cute. They’re very sweet together. Was it Billy that whacked Al over the head though? Cause that seems a bit extreme. I guess we’ll find out. I do like Marlon still getting involved in Billy stuff though. I’m glad they’re keeping that relationship alive.

Chas and Paddy are still pretty insufferable. I just really hate them together. Haha. I don’t get it. And I think it’s weird we don’t really see Paddy being a hands on dad. I mean I know the story was about Chas this past week with the feeding stuff but even still, we’ve barely seen him interacting with her. It’s weird. Especially for someone so intent on having a biological child. It’s really a shame how much they’ve ruined Paddy as a character for me over the last few years.

The car stuff with Cain and Aaron was pretty uninspiring. I agree with that assessment from my dash. It was more about Cain but it wasn’t even interesting from his point of view either. It felt really lazy. As far as Charity goes and whose fault it was. I’m kind on team no one. They were all in the wrong really. Charity shouldn’t be forcing her kids on people who can’t actually watch them and especially not two days in a row. And Cain and Aaron shouldn’t have been doing what they were doing. Also Chas was just sort of wrong altogether and she annoys me.

On the Aaron front...it did hurt way less so far after the fact to watch him smash up the photo and throw all of Robert’s stuff away. Although it hurt seeing him fold up the good two toned maroon jumper. You should keep that Aaron. It’s his best jumper. Wear it yourself. I’m still concerned the show isn’t going to give Aaron a proper emotional payoff in the end but oddly the random little scenes this past week gave me more hope for that than anything because he just looks so empty and like he’s going through the motions, apologizing to keep everyone else happy so his feelings aren’t inconveniencing them. I mean obviously we have those insane terrorizing Wendy spoilers so he is going to go further off the rails. I’m nervous how it’s all going to be framed on a Wendy front though.

On principle, I still hate that Wendy is around. And Luke. It just makes me uncomfortable that they’re still trying to show her as a good helpful person and portray her as a victim when she hasn’t even apologized to Vic for harassing her and calling her a liar. I’m kind of dreading everything coming up on that front. But I’ll probably just binge it all after the fact so maybe it won’t be so bad.

#belated live blogging #emmerdale #this is super long #but it's three weeks worth of thoughts #and i'm sure i left something out

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coe-lilium · 5 years

Text

TroS reaction (1st view)

Necessary premise in bullet points:

- I liked TFA when it came out and still do but as I dug into the franchise/canon (Disney only by choice) my enjoyment of it became more lukewarm. Came out of it dreading a potential Reylo but liking the two charas on their own.

- went into TLJ worried I’d hate it, came out with it being my favorite saga movie and sold on the Rey-Ren connection, whatever road it would’ve taken. Loved the “Rey’s powerful on her own/bc the Force wants to set Kylo’s wrongs right”. It felt good after two years of being bombarded with “this fucking Mary Sue can have any power only if she’s connected to powerful men of the saga, she has otherwise no right in being powerful” in forums spaces.

- went into TroS non-spoiled, wary of Palpatine return but relatively hopeful if soured about the “JJ our lord and saviour pleease save us from evil evil Jonhson” (HA!). The rumors about lore from the tv series being featured into the movie had me excited.

That said, here goes: [SPOILERS FOR THE ENTIRE MOVIE, ENDING INCLUDED, RIGHT OFF THE BAT]

I didn’t like it. I really hope to warm up to it more in future views, there’s absolutely stuff I liked or even loved, but as it stands now it was overall a massive disappointment on many sides and -worst of all- threatens to retroactively ruin my enjoyment in other previous stories.

First, the positives:

- Parentage notwithstanding, Rey was good. Her rage, her fears, her good heart, her commitment to the fight and the training, her longing for guidance… truly, if the bloodline revelation hadn’t retroactively ruined my investment in the character and themes I’d have fully, 100% loved her even if every single other part of the movie had been the same.

Except for a brief war flashback to Starkiller game abilities (I lolled) I wasn’t even troubled by all the new abilities or their scope. Movies’ been inventing new powers since the beginning and the Force does what the Force wants. Again, fuck the genetics “twist”, garbage stuff.

- Kylo, next to… 95% that involved him? TLJ did a great job selling him to me and surprisingly this movie added to that instead of retconning it away. More competent but still stupid and petty from time to time. I’m glad he came back, glad he choose right and glad he was allowed more time on the right side than Anakin. I love redemptions and he was portrayed as wavering the entire trilogy, I don’t even really care that it could’ve done better. I’m happy for him and his family, that’s all. The kiss got a laugh out me but not a malicious one, I was kind of running out of reasonable reactions by then.

I’m just conflicted on how I feel about his death. Back when TFA was released I wanted him to survive to face what Anakin didn’t: justice (the kid-friendly setting prevented a death sentence anyway), atonement and growth from there, I still wish it happened and maintain that a different pacing would’ve allowed it. On the other hand, I’m also kinda okay with him dying. He righted at least a bit of his many wrongs, he saved a person he cared for, that his parents cared for and that could help the galaxy much more than he ever could and he was at peace. It was a good death.

- Kylo’s vision/illusion of Han. A surprise but a very pleasant, well acted one. Would’ve I maybe liked Anakin more, as Ben idolized him so much and for all the wrong reasons and because I love that disaster? Yes. Does Han work much better in the economy of the movie and trilogy story and do he and Ben have a much rawer relationship and history? Absolutely. I am a teeny tiny bit baffled as for why Luke didn’t also show up, but the actual scene was good enough I forgive it.

- Rey and Kylo bond and connection was one of the saving graces of this mess and I utterly loved it. Both actors worked their asses for for all their scenes and it payed off, oh if it payed off. Their DSII duel was perhaps a tad long but great nonetheless (Republic era Jedi jumps!), the hurt and the sense of absolute loss and grief they both conveyed -and shared!- after Leia’s passing was incredible, Rey regretting the near kill and softly going “I would have stayed, had you renounced the dark side”. She cared, yes, but not to the point of ignoring the horrors (something Anakin never quite understood). The “dyad” stuff was a bit overkill, just call it a force bond, we can see it’s freaking powerful, but the Force Skype and sharing of objects that came with the package, that I loved. Surprise lightsaber, Ren fuckers! :D Bet Anakin and Obi Wan were really jealous, that would’ve come in handy during the war.

- Finn was now fully invested in the cause, at ease, visibly happy to be with his friends, ready to bond and reach out, quick to plan, to act and to adapt to the situation, brave but cautious and calculating. I wish it was given a bit more focus, but I loved he found other young FO defectors. Also fuck yeah, he’s force sensitive and his ability is used, not just thrown in as a useless wink. Jedi Finn in future material, c’mon!

- Poe’s also grown. He was probably going to have more screen time with Leia had Carrie not died but there was nothing to be done for that. I’m not as happy as for previous 3 charas for the backstory retcon I’ll tackle in the negatives.

- Jannah was cool, the addiction of other FO defectors a welcomed one and the scene were she and Finn excitedly went over their “I broke free” moment was adorable. Good bean, I’d read more about her and her company.

- A bit lot annoyed at Bloodline being kinda tossed outta the window but getting Leia with lightsaber was nice. Give me some ancillary material to deal with the clash and I’ll fully forgive it.

- Jedi! MY GIRL AHSOKA MY MAN KANAN! I mean, I sure wish they were in a better movie, but hey, recognition for something more than the OT? No slandering of the Order but all of them collectively kicking Sidious ass once and for all? I’ll gladly take it. Anakin, my dude, I’m sorry your sacrifice was next to nullified but it was good to hear you again ;_; I didn’t hear Ezra’s voice anywhere so I can still hope he’s alive, well and with the Ascendancy teaching all their Navigators. “I am all the Jedi” remains a terrible line.

And now, oh boi. Here comes the long list of annoying - bad - stinking shit stuff:

- If I wanted to watch a 2 and half long videogame cutscenes I’d have done that in the comfort of my home without spending money for tickets. Go to level x to retrieve related macguffin, move to next level to get next macguffin and so on and so on. I liked close to everything in the DS II sequences, but what would’ve that dagger pointed at if the wreckage had fallen even a little bit differently?

In general, many plot points gave me the feeling they were stolen from the tv series and badly executed, like a mockery (or incompetence?). Case in point: Hux betraying the 1st Order out of personal, spiteful hate? Potentially good! The execution? A poor man’s Rebels Agent Kallus, already over in little more than 5minutes.

- Palpatine himself is a poorly, ridiculously poorly executed Maul resurrection storyline from tcw and rebels.

Because Maul was 1. explained and 2. got a good, long arc that made you forgive the undoubtably contrived ass-pull it took to bring him back while Sidious is just… there. You gotta accept it because the writer said so.

How did he survive? We don’t know and fuck you if you expect an explanation (they really had the absolute galls to have him say the iconic/meme line from Rots and apparently it was supposed to be enough?!) How could he “have all Sith reside inside me” when canon’s clear that Sith do-not-get-to-retain-their-individuality-in-the-Force, do not work well together (lmao) and he as an individual never gave a shit about the Sith except when they could serve his own personal desires? His entire approach to the rule of two and other Sith stuff is “fuck that noise, everything in the galaxy exist to serve me”. He’s fine dying as long as “the Sith rule”? Who IS this character, because he’s not Darth Sidious (as presented in Disney’s own canon, mind). Oh, you wanted explanations? FUCK YOU, screams the movie.

The mess gets somehow salvaged in the end as he comes to his senses and siphon the life out of Rey and Ben to de-rotten/revive himself to rule in person, now *that* was in character. Was he actually lying his ass off the entire time waiting for the moment he could siphon them? Hopefully but who the hell even knows.

In the end it just wasn’t worth bring him back. A holocron, a different Sith, even a hive-mind of old records/tainted wraiths of Sith (perhaps wearing Palps face to buy the old empire aficionados loyalty, idk) would’ve been better than “actually, Anakin suffered nearly his entire life and sacrificed himself for barely more than 25 years of peace and it still wasn’t enough to rid the galaxy of the monster who destroyed his and countless other lives”. But Johnson was the one shitting on beloved characters legacy and accomplishments, uh? Surely at least he’s got company.

Ian was clearly having a blast, so there was… that? And the initial sequence being legit creepy and the Sith storm or whatever the fuck was that. That can stay, it was cool.

- Poe, the latino character, got retconned from former Republic pilot (a backstory established before TFA came out and faithfully respected ever since) into a smuggler and gang member. Classy. What does Lucaslfilm have a story group for if not for stopping stuff like this from happening? Bonus Zorii being used for a “no homo! homo? no homo?” wink wink and for generally being a poor man Solo’s Qi’ra.

- The movie makes you worry for a character death three (3) times in a row only to immediately backpedal on it. The survivors are grieving, the scene is sober… and then suddenly! they’re alive! isn’t it wonderful? let’s insert a comical scene now that we’re at it! Sigh.

- The whole Threepio stuff was a contrived waste of time in a movie already full of more relevant plot treads that could’ve put that screen time to better use.

- Rey’s parents apparently aren’t assholes anymore bc they sold her into slavery to protect her from Sidious, which is… supposed to make it alright, a sacrifice in the name of love? If they had been shown trying to give her to a trusted person and then she was kidnapped that wouldn’t had been their fault, just unfortunate, but the movie shows them leaving their 5yo daughter with her in-all-but-name slaver so??

- Rey Palpatine… Rey. Palpatine. Gesù Cristo benedetto che minchia mi è toccato di vedere. That hurt. That was so hilariously over the top bad I just…I started laughing. On top of the entire thing, thank you so, soo much for validating all those fucking assholes who demanded Rey be connected to a powerful man in the saga to accept her powers and value, you hack. Jedi were never about power of blood and then you went and reinforced the very opposite. She ain’t powerful bc the Force recognized her as worthy to stop evil and chose to aid her anymore, she’s powerful bc grandfather was. Lovely stuff. Hilariously, now she has a lot more legit “Mary Sue” traits than before.

- Rose’s sidelining was a blatant bow to her and her actress haters whims. If in VIII she jumped at the chance of action, now she was fearful and “had to stay behind” studying maps. Fuck that noise.

- Even if she rejected it, underline is that the Skywalker line is wiped out and the Palpatine one thrives. I… just… wtf wtf wtf. A final “Just Rey” would’ve been more powerful -because now it would’ve been reclaimed- and less corny and in poor taste than a Palpatine taking on the Skywalker name. I’m not sure if Sidious is more offended or if he’s laughing his ass off in space!hell. Probably the 2nd. Bad.

- The final scene on Tatooine. It rang so empty because the planet brings warm memories only to the audience, not the characters. In-universe, that place brought nothing but misery to the Skywalkers: Anakin and Shmi were brought there as slaves and lived as such for years, Shmi was tortured to death and Anakin began his descent into the dark for crying out loud. Luke had to hide and saw his relatives murdered. Leia had no connection whatsoever to the place. The mera idea of burying Anakin Skywalker lightsaber into the sands of Tatooine and considering it a way of paying respect is… I don’t know, hilariously in bad taste? Rey, dear, what did you have personally against the guy? Put those sabers to rest on Naboo! Ah, but we can’t truly acknowledge the PT now, can we? Wack.

- It’s not TroS complete fault, that “honor” mostly sit at TFA’s feet but for all its omages, copies and almost slavish references, from a in-universe point of view it’s like the OT barely occurred.

The same evil man has been defeated (until next time?), the Republic must be rebuilt from scratch, a evil military is all over the place and must be dealt with, the Jedi Order has to be rebuilt… it’s depressing. A new evil taking advantage of the empire leftovers would’ve been one thing, but Sidious? He’s been effectively winning nonstop ever since he was elected Chancellor. He had all the power, all the influence, all the control and he maintained it all even as a rotten corpse in exile, the entire galaxy marching on his tune, controlled by his strings. And as the cherry on top of the cake he even managed to wipe out the family that could’ve, should have been his undoing! He effectively destroyed the Skywalkers. He outlived every Jedi, every survivor, every clone. I hate this. It’s sickening. I can’t even be happy Rex was on Endor anymore.

In general, the best word I can find for this movie is: coward.

So blatantly desperate to please, to be “forgiven”, to reference every single irrelevant thing -except the PT and the TV series in a intelligent way-, to throw fanservice after fanservice after fanservice no matter how nonsensical from all over that crossed the “corny” to wander into embarrassing territory many times over (Maz giving Chewie a medal outta nowhere? Come the fuck on now).

The cartoon series had twenty time the guts of this movie and I vehemently wish for Filoni to take the helm of the entire creative team in a very near future.

#tros spoilers #sw tros #star wars #star wars spoilers #tros negative #the more i think about sidious the more it sickens me #tros negativity

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twilightofthe · 5 years

Note

Obi-Wan Kenobi, Ahsoka Tano, annnnnnnd Luke Skywalker

Probs gonna be a long post since I Cannot Shut Up, so here we go!

OBI WAN (see look I told you this was gonna be long)

How I feel about them: HELLO HI YES I LOVE HIM A NORMAL AMOUNT. Okay okay, besides the fact that he is Very Nice To Look At (c’mon, I must, I have EYES), I genuinely love Obi Wan because he wants to be a good person so, so badly, and he’s always ALWAYS trying to be better because he doesn’t believe he already is a good person. His life is a literal living hellhole and he doesn’t crumple under all of that tragedy like literally everyone else does, he takes a moment, puts a cheeky smile back on his face, and gets back up and keeps going. He can be a hypocrite, he tends to look over things he really shouldn’t or gets the wrong idea about things and just shuts off what he doesn’t want to deal with, he’s overconfident and a little snobby and petty and a bit of an asshole, and he makes mistakes because he is human, and I love him for all of those flaws because if he was perfect, I wouldn’t like him as much. He’s funny and reckless and would literally die before letting anything he cared about get hurt, he wants to do everything at once so he can help everyone and he literally gives all of himself to a cause because he cares and y’all, he is the most distinguished disaster I have ever come across and he deserves peace and rest and loved ones who don’t die in his arms or betray him and he’s one of the most brilliant fighters I have ever seen and he just draws you in. You can’t help but want to watch him.

Romantic ships: I will love him and Anakin together past my dying breaths; they’re soulmates. I can also enjoy seeing him with Quinlan or Ventress, and of course Satine.

Non-Romantic OTPs: Anakin again, I just love them and will take them any way I can get. Also Cody, Cody is great. And Ahsoka-- especially post-Order 66 (c’mon Kenobi movie don’t let me down now). And Padmé! Ugh, I’m mad TCW refused to let us see the Obi/Pads friendship the movies promised us they had.

Unpopular Opinion: Two big ones. First, that Anakin is the most important person in his life. I can’t see it any other way, and I know other people would disagree. Second, that he’s a good person and ALSO kinda a jerk. He’s one of the most popular figures in this fandom with the most mercurial fanbase. I’d say a good 85% adore him, but then the 15% who don’t hate him with a burning passion. Seriously, it’s like to these people Palpatine was a better Master to Anakin than he was, jeez-- I’m digressing. Anyway, it’s like in retaliation, the other 85% have put him up on a pedestal as someone who’s done no wrong whatsoever. And here I am in the middle like, I love him to hell and back and always will, he’s legit one of my favorite characters, but he isn’t perfect. Like I said, it’s hard for me to like perfect characters with no flaws. So yea, I guess that’s it.

Something I wish would happen/had happened with them in canon: MORE OBIKIN MOMENTS BECAUSE I’M NEEDY. Ok but in reality, there’s a couple things, most I’m discovering have to do with female characters. I wish he hadn’t faked his death when Ahsoka was there. I get why Anakin had to be there to witness it, otherwise he wouldn’t believe it, but Obes, my dude, there was no reason why you had to (further) traumatize a sixteen year old over this. She really did not need to have you die in her arms, you of all people know how shitty that feels. I also want to know why he didn’t speak up (or if he did and we didn’t see it) at Ahsoka’s trial. Was he being punished for Mandalore? Going off of that, I wish we actually got to see him mourn Satine for more than 0.5 seconds of him looking sad after she died and then it literally never being brought up again (I’m looking at you here, Season 7, give me SOMETHING). I’d also like to see him having some sort of meaningful interaction with Leia that would make her naming her only child after him make more sense (I actually have a really good penpals style idea about this, but I don’t know if I’d be able to write it before the Kenobi show comes out and josses it). Also, I heard that the original Twin Suns episode of Rebels was supposed to have Kanan going to Tatooine with Ezra, and I really would like to see a Kanan/Obi Wan interaction, it just sounds like so much potential for angsty goodness!!! ;_;

AHSOKA

How I feel about them: My brave, brave girl! She was what got me into the prequels in general, if you can believe it (wow, my star wars watching order is just WEIRD), I had to know more about her after seeing literally one glimpse of her in Rebels and then saw the Tumblr fandom explode. She’s enduring and snarky and clever and a total badass and I adore how we got to see her grow from a spunky little kid into a shining, confident young woman who I’d follow anywhere. Anyway, I love her and god did she deserve so much BETTER FROM EVERYTHING. HER LIFE SUCKED TOO AND SHE TOLD LIFE TO FUCK OFF AND KEPT GOING.

Romantic ships: I adore her and Kaeden Larte from the Ahsoka novel and you can pry my headcanon that they’re still together up to the Sequel trilogy out of my cold dead hands. Also Barriss Offee (WHY DO ALL MY STAR WARS SHIPS HAVE A PATTERN? CAN WE NOT BE BETRAYING EACH OTHER FOR FIVE SECONDS PLEASE). Also Riyo Chuchi, that was really cute!!!

Non-Romantic OTP’s: Snips n’ Skyguy all the way!!!! But also argh, I adore Ahsoka and Rex and everything about them and Season 7 is going to KILL ME. I also love seeing Ahsoka and Padmé interact, and I really do like the little bits we see of her and Obi Wan and I want MORE of them >:(

Unpopular Opinion: This is gonna sound weird since I just said that seeing Ahsoka in Rebels was what got me into TCW and the prequels, but I really didn’t like her characterization in Rebels all that much after I went back and saw her in TCW. I know she grew up and was traumatized and matured, but Rebels!Ahsoka just seemed a bit too severe, a bit too peaceful (she’s always been a firebrand), a bit too quiet. Yea she grew, but I feel like the environment she grew up in wouldn’t foster the personality change she got in Rebels. She was a bit of a hot mess in TCW, and the Ahsoka novel kinda showed more of that personality in an older version of her and felt more right than what we got in Rebels.

Something I wish would happen/had happened with them in canon: A GROUP HUG WITH ANAKIN AND OBI WAN IN SEASON 7, PREFERABLY HER PICKING THEM BOTH UP LEGEND OF KORRA STYLE. Ok but really there’s a LOT of things. First, that she never liked Lux Bonteri. I’m sorry, I’m petty. He just reminds me way too much of my IRL friend’s stupidass boyfriend who I Do Not Like and I never got what Ahsoka actually saw in him ;p Second is that I did not like how Ezra saved her in Rebels. It’s a grumpy point for me because I certainly like how she managed to outlive the entire Order that kicked her out, it’s poetic, and if they did have Vader kill her I’d still be grumpy because it would be just another Prequel era woman who got killed off because she wasn’t in the OT while the males all find some way to be alive despite not being in the OT. HOWEVER, you will never convince me that Kanan wasn’t the one who deserved that time-travel fixit. Kanan had a family-- a CHILD, who he left behind. Kanan had a future, and a story point that was just left unfinished and unsatisfying for me and other fans, if what I’ve heard was right. As much as it would annoy me, Ahsoka dying facing Vader makes sense from a narrative point because it would follow the path that Vader destroys everyone he ever loved until he meets Luke. Kanan’s death felt sudden and forced, and the fact that they had the audacity to use his death to be like “oh no Kanan had to die and become a Spirit Wolf solely to tell Ezra he needed to bring AHSOKA back”, come on. Rebels didn’t establish Ahsoka and Kanan having any sort of meaningful relationship, it makes no sense for that to be his final wish, so it just feels a LOT like favoritism on Filoni’s part. So yea, I don’t know what I wanted to save Ahsoka because I did want her alive, but it definitely shouldn’t have been at the expense of Kanan. Meh. Ok, but on a happier note, I really wanna see Anakin’s ghost on Endor reuniting with her again cuz that would be sweet and make me cry. I also wanna see Ahsoka interacting with Obi Wan on Tatooine in the new show because please it would be perfect, she’s already met Leia, now she can meet Luke! Also, if we could actually see her find Ezra, that would be very nice, thank you.

LUKE

How I feel about this character: Luke Skywalker is one of the bravest, most kindest men in the galaxy. He’s not the stereotypical macho hero, he’s goofy and he whines and sulks and he makes dumb jokes and he rushes right into things, but he’s determined as all hell and once he loves you, he’s never letting go. He wants to fix everything! He has so many ideas! He’s so bright and you can’t help but fall in love with his smile and his sparkling eyes and you want all his dreams and plans (because he has so, so many of them) to come true, and he will make them come true, because he is stubborn like both of his parents before him. He worked through the discovery of his beloved father being a monster, and not only did he love him despite that, he did the unthinkable and BROUGHT HIM BACK. LUKE BROUGHT ANAKIN HOME BECAUSE HE LOVED AND BELIEVED IN HIM AND HE WAS STRONG ENOUGH TO DO IT. I just wish he had gotten the happy ending his parents never did (and that he had had for 40 years before it was ripped away whoops I got salt on this haha).

Romantic ships: Complicated. I think he would be really cute with Ezra if they ever actually met; their personalities would mesh nicely and I think they’d make a great team! However, I don’t really ship him with anyone else, and me the ace again is projecting major aro/ace vibes onto him because I can *blows raspberry*

Non-Romantic OTP: BROT3 WITH HAN AND LEIA!!!! FOREVER AND ALWAYS!!!!!!!! Y’all but they literally saved the galaxy together, and Luke and Leia love each other so much they knew there was a connection from the very beginning and always supported each other and the BEST space siblings, argh that forehead kiss was my favorite part of The Last Jedi I cry but I also love the chaotic dumbass duo that is Han and Luke and how they’d legit die for each other and have each others’ backs. And, Luke and R2 will always always make my heart melt because these guys are the best team! And Chewie, cannot forget Chewie, Chewie loves his stupid blonde little brother. Ya know what, I’ll also add in Rey for the pure potentiality of what could have been.

Unpopular Opinion: Well it’s certainly not unpopular to anyone I talk to, but Lucasfilms disagrees with me, so I’m gonna put forth that I don’t care WHAT the explanation is, I could never ever ever see Luke even thinking about murdering his nephew in his sleep, not just a “slip up”, not “only for a second”, no. Yes, people can change in thirty years, and I’ve begrudgingly accepted a lot of his actions in TLJ, but not that one. Luke would NEVER. A more unpopular one I have would be that he’s not as much of a “innocent cinnamon roll” as fandom makes him out to be. We see from the beginning of Episode 4 that Luke has the Skywalker temper and he’s a bit on the rude side, even though to me that seems a little more like issues with a filter that he works on developing throughout the OT. But yeah, people tend to declaw him a bit and forget this is the same sarcastic, snarky guy that can and will happily kick the ass of basically anyone who he can’t talk his way out of trouble with (in this, he is very much Obi Wan’s apprentice).

Something I wish would happen/had happened with them in canon: LET HIM APPEAR TO REY WITH ANAKIN’S FORCE GHOST 2K19!!! PLEASE JJ I BEG YOU YOU LITERALLY NAMED THE MOVIE AFTER THEM. Also, please just let him take an active role in Episode 9. I understand it’s about the new protagonists, but please do not include the Sequel Trilogy in the “Skywalker Saga” if you’re just gonna sideline him the entire time. If he couldn’t have his original happy ending, please let him be happy at the end of all of this.

#i’m proud of myself i could have added a LOT more sequel salt in Luke’s section than i did you’re welcome #i also will go off completely unprompted over the IRL friend’s stupidass boyfriend and almost did #so be very thankful i showed restraint xD #our only ho #snip snap #twin sun

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rogerina-yee-haw · 6 years

Text

“at least I’m one”

chapter 3: “- the broken rules and true affection”

sd!gwilym lee x reader

[the goodbye] [the sadness & tenderness]

summary: you and gwil met ten months ago; and he offered you to be his sugar baby almost immediately. you agreed at that exact moment, not knowing where it would get you.

warnings: badly written smut (again) sorry y’all; angst, fluff, cursing, cringy behavior, author’s spelling and grammar errors, typos

a/n: hey y’all ily!!! thanks for waiting!! i love you all!! I’m sorry it took me so long!! I’m dying at uni!!

also, I wanted to thank you for 350+ followers like??? how did it happen?? I don’t deserve all of your pretty souls?? but seriously, you all are amazing and wonderful, and I hope you have a beautiful day <3

I :) hope :) this :) chapter :) isn’t :) a :) complete :) piece :) of :) garbage :) (it is imao sorry)

P.S.

there are three chapters left.

As you follow your parents through the long and silent corridors of the hospital, you can surely say that you feel much better.

Becca gave birth to a beautiful baby boy; and you have never seen her happier. She and Jackson looked so felicitous with their newborn in Becca’s arms, that you couldn’t but shed a tear. For the first time during this day it wasn’t a sad cry; you were really happy.

Your sister needed rest after the tough night of labor; so you and your parents decided it would be better for you to leave. And now you are going home, back to your apartment, April and sorrows.

“Sweetheart, are you okay?” your mum lightly touches your hand; you give her a fake smile in response. You can’t tell her the truth; and was there ever even a slight bit of truth about you and Gwil? Everything your parents know about this relationship is built on lies. You can’t tell her that you fell in love with your sugar daddy but he proposed to another sugar baby, and that’s why you’re heartbroken. You simply can’t.

“Just tired”, you smile weakly. “Can’t even imagine how Becca’s still able to talk and, y’know; behave as a normal human being after having such an experience”. Your mum lets out a laugh.

“Becca is strong. And she likes being the center of attention, so her desire to talk is quite understandable”.

“Put it this way, love”, your father joins the conversation, “Becca just wants everyone to praise her. That’s her character”.

“She deserves that praise”, you say.

Your father smiles. “Of course she does. She’s a hero”.

When your parents offer to give you a ride, you refuse, saying Janet is supposed to pick you up; you lie, once again. You’re not ashamed of yourself – you wouldn’t survive if you never lied. That’s just another deception. Just another delusion for your parents and you to believe in.

No one’s here to pick you up. Janet is probably having fun at that party, Billy’s sleeping, and Gwil… You sigh deeply. You just can’t continue doing it to yourself anymore. One more thought about Gwilym, one more memory – and you’re sure you’ll jump off of some building. You won’t make it through the night if you continue thinking about him.

He’s gone. He’s engaged to Alice. He’s not yours. He has never been yours. That’s all that you have to know for moving on. But you simply don’t know how; Gwil has been a part of your life for ten months, you can’t just move on. That’s not possible.

When you get into the cab, you’re on the verge of crying again; all the bliss, given by Becca’s baby boy, is gone. You look through the car window – the streets of London are full of people on this Friday night. All of them are having fun, laughing and just enjoying themselves; and even if they have some troubles in their life, they simply forget about them while drinking tons of alcohol. If you do the same thing, you’d end up on Gwilym’s doorstep. You know that for sure.

Almost twenty minutes later you come back home; it’s silent there, as usual. You don’t even turn the lights on – you don’t want to see what kind of mess your flat is now. “Probably as messy as I am”, you think when you sit down on the couch.

On the floor, right in front of you, there is a bag. The bag. You take a deep breath before reaching your hand to it; you have to look through the stuff you took from Gwil’s apartment. You had to do that to cope with your feelings, to try to move on. You can’t let yourself drown in your sorrows, not being able to throw away everything related to him. You need to get rid of the memories. You have to do that just in case. Just to realize if the pain is still that strong.

The red flannel shirt is the first thing that you put out of the bag.

And you can’t even comprehend how much pain it causes you. It makes your chest ache, and you feel like your heart is going to explode.

And there you have enough of your weak attempts in moving on.

You burst into tears, squeezing the shirt in your hands; it still smells like him. Because it’s his, it’s his shirt. The one he says he hates so much, that he didn’t even protest when you borrowed it. The memories of this day are still fresh, and you let yourself drown in them, you give in. You can’t fight, you’re not that powerful. You can’t move on, you’re not that strong to do this. You want to drown in your sorrows, because it’s the only way to be with him now.

Still crying, you put the shirt over your shoulders. “Looks good on you”, Gwil used to say when you wore it. “It was a lie”, you whisper while curling up on the couch; you keep sobbing and wrapping the shirt around yourself. “Another lie to play with me”, you say under your breath, tears still streaming down your cheeks when you doze off. Your sleep isn’t peaceful; you dream about Gwilym, again and again.

╰╮✾╭╯✯╰╮✾╭╯

September.

“So you agree?”

You looked into the contract one more time; you furrowed your brows just to seem focused. To be honest, you’ve lost the ability to concentrate the moment you saw Gwil inside of the restaurant. He looked like the fucking Adonis in his dark-grey three-piece suit, and you couldn’t get the image of him roughly lifting you up from your seat and fucking you right on this table till you see the stars. You kept reminding yourself that it wasn’t right, that you just met him seven hours ago. You had no idea who he was until he approached you in that posh shop.

At one point you started doubting whether you needed that or not; but then you realized one simple thing. This beautiful, heavenly looking man was offering you the life you could never afford. Alright, maybe if you worked yourself to death – maybe then you could afford buying expensive clothes and jewelry. Also being alone for a year and a half had its own influence – and by that you certainly meant a badly hidden desire to have sex with Gwilym right there and then.

You sighed deeply, as you looked through the rules. They weren’t bad; as they weren’t, by no means, crossing any lines in any way. They were normal. They were adequate. You couldn’t ask for more. That was your chance to get free cash and hook up with a pretty dude. You couldn’t miss such an opportunity.

“I do”.

╰╮✾╭╯✯╰╮✾╭╯

rule №7. no contact with each other’s families and friends.

March.

“Someone get this goddamn door!”

Your mother’s scream was able to bring dead back to life; but now it only made you realize that you might lose your hearing, if she shouted like that one more time.

“Haven't you people ever heard of closing the goddamn door?” Billy seemed to notice the way you winced when you heard your mother’s loud voice; and that’s why he decided to proclaim the song’s lyrics right into your ear. It made you growl, and you turned around to hit him on the shoulder.

“Idiot!” you said. “Go get the door”.

“I’m too busy to do that”.

You raised your eyebrows at him in disbelief; Billy was just messing around while his mother and you were helping your mum with preparing food and guests. Your dad and Becca with Jackson were of great help, too; everyone was doing something except for this dumbass. He grinned widely, seeing your frustration. “Besides, t’s not my house. I’m not allowed to open doors and, y’know, behave wildly”.

“Swift, for fuck’s sake, you’ve spent more time in this house than anywhere else”, you sighed. “And you certainly opened the doors for, like, million times”.

“But-“

“Billy!” his mother stormed into the kitchen “Stop wandering around and go get the door!” she took the bowl with fruits into her hands. “Or I’ll make you chat with Zelda!” she added before heading to the dining room. Billy’s eyes widened and he seemed to start trembling the second he heard your aunt’s name; so he left the kitchen immediately. You chuckled; this day was already a piece of work. Every time such a big family gathering happened, you knew that something would eventually be fucked up. Today was no exception, as it was your mother’s fiftieth birthday.

She wanted to have both her sisters, three best friends with their children and, of course, her own family present at such an important event. Three best friends included Mrs. Swift with her dumbass of a son Billy, Mrs. Johnson, and Mrs. Raymonds with her daughter Alexis and son James.

James had been a pain in your ass today since the moment he entered the house. You expected to successfully avoid talking to him, but it seemed as if he wanted to speak to you more than anything. You couldn’t really understand why. You hadn’t communicated properly for four years, right since your breakup, and you didn’t really want to; firstly, because before you were too invested in your relationship and split with Luke, and now because of Gwilym.

You closed your eyes and let out a sigh. How you wished to have Gwil here now; you knew that with him everything would be so much better. And, moreover, if Gwil was here, James wouldn’t be bothering you. You couldn’t tell him to fuck off; you were too nice for that. Besides, you didn’t want to ruin the “normal” relationship that you two had – if it was possible to call it like that.

He was not only your childhood friend, but your ex, your first kiss, your first sex and your first heartbreak. Every “first” that happened to you was connected to James; and no matter how much thankful you were to him for giving you a necessary experience, you couldn’t but regret your decision to date your mum’s best friend’s son at the age of fourteen. If you never saw him again, everything would be so much easier. All just because he was awfully clingy and tedious; it seemed as if he had never grown up and was still stuck in high school. And he was an idiot in high school.

“You need help?” As your back was facing the kitchen’s entrance, you couldn’t miss the opportunity to roll your eyes when you heard James’s voice. It took you everything not to tell him to fuck off, as you put a fake smile on your face and turned around to see him standing near the fridge. A couple of steps more – and he would be right in front of you. Disgusting.”No; but thank you for the offer, James”.

“Oh, Y/N”, he smiled and moved a bit forward; your fists tightened and you clenched your jaw, still smiling. “You’re always welcome”.

Please, dear God. Save me from this monstrosity.

Billy was humming the song about the poor groom and his whore-bride as he approached the door; he was happy enough to avoid talking to aunt Zelda for a while. She was the most annoying person he had ever met, and she also hated him to death; so opening the door was quite a good opportunity.

A tall dude in a suit with bouquet of flowers on Y/L/N’s house’s doorstep surprised Billy; as he was 5’6” himself, everyone taller than that seemed like a giant to him. And this really handsome pal was certainly intimidating. “You alright, mate?” Billy examined him from heat to foot; the suit was totally expensive and the man himself looked like a fucking duke.

“Is Y/N here?” his voice was deep and a bit husky; Billy furrowed his brows – he had no idea you were aquianted with someone from the Royal Family.

“Y/N!” he screamed. “That’s for you!”

When James was almost standing near you, Billy’s voice saved your day. “Thank God!” you shouted in response and flew out of the kitchen; no matter who was there, you were happy enough it happened. You saw Billy standing in front of the open door; leaning to the doorway, that was leading from the hall to the living room, you let out a sigh of relief. You didn’t even see who was at the door; and at the moment you didn’t care, as you stood there, panting, with your eyes closed.

“Fucking James”, you breathed. “I hate this fucking wanker so much, you don’t even know, Billy”.

“Oh no, I do, trust me, Y/L/N. ‘Cause I hate him more”.

“If I hear his fucking voice one more time, I swear-“

“Who’s James?”

You couldn’t believe it; did the voice that you heard belong to Gwilym? Your eyes went round; and when you finally saw him, standing on your parents’ house’s doorstep, your eyes lit up and your mouth curved into a smile. He was there.

“Gwil”, you mouthed. He beamed, and his whole face lit up when he saw you. Or maybe it just seemed to you that it did.

“Y/N”, he said, “hey”.

“I’m Billy!” he chimed in, resting his chin on your shoulder; your smile faded as your rolled your eyes at him.

“Swift, go to the kitchen and help our mums”, you said quickly. He huffed.

“And talk to Raymonds? No, thank you.”

As you kept maintaining eye contact with Gwil, you couldn’t but close your eyes and let out an exasperated sigh. “Billy”, you said through gritted teeth, “go and help our mums”.

“Y/L/N-“

“Billy!” you turned around; if it was possible to burn someone down with just one simple gaze, Billy would have been dead already. “Go and do it, while I’m asking you nicely!” you pinched his shoulder so strongly, that he jumped and let out a squeak.

“Alright!” he raised his hands. “I’ll do anything if you stop hitting and pinching me. Bloody woman”, he mumbled, while leaving.

“Sorry about him”, you looked back at Gwil; he was still smiling at you. “He’s just twelve, really”.

“Is that your best friend you told me about?”

“Yeah”. Only then you noticed he was holding a bouquet of lilies.

“That’s my mum’s favourite flowers”, you said quietly. “How’d you know?”

His gaze was fixed on your face; and you couldn’t but look away because you felt extremely flustered.

“You said it once. I remembered”.

You melted like an ice-cream under the scorching sun. He remembered that? It took your father twenty-seven years of marriage to memorize his wife’s favorite flowers, and here was Gwil – remembering about it for some time. You didn’t even know how to react.

But then you realized one thing. He was not supposed to be here. He was your sugar daddy; and one of the rules was not to have any contact with each other’s families of friends. What exactly was he doing here?

“What are you doing here?” you asked. “You said you gonna have a business trip”.

He smiled. “I deferred it to the next weekend. Couldn’t leave my girl alone with her, as she says that, crazy family”.

My girl. Of course, you heard him say that million times; but something was different now, you could feel it in your bones.

You smiled like an idiot, while he was taking off his coat; he beamed at you back, and there you were – two grinning idiots, who stood in your parents’ house’s hallway. That was so much you wanted to tell him; how thankful you were that he came, but mostly you wanted to kiss him softly and whisper “I love you” in between kisses.

“You’re gonna regret it”, you say instead. “They’re embarrassing”.

He chuckled and took your hand; Gwil pressed a sweet kiss to your knuckles. “I will never regret a minute spent with you. Even if your family is embarrassing”. He pulled you closer, and you were perfectly safe and sound in his arms. The flowers, lying on the little sofa in the hallway, were long forgotten, as well as guests, food and the world. Gwil was warm and lovely, and you closed your eyes, resting your head in the crook of his neck. You would stay like this forever. You didn’t need anything, anyone else, but him, just him, only him. You had no idea why he was there, when he could be somewhere else, with another sugar baby, having sex and buying jewelry. But he was there, with you.

“You are stunning”, he whispered in your ear. “Red looks good on you”. You let out a chuckle against his neck. God, that was so silly.

“You bought me this dress, after all”, you answered quietly. Gwil hummed in response and kissed your hair; you pulled away from his neck, catching him staring at you in awe. You lost yourself in his blue eyes, lost yourself forever in his mesmeric gaze. Was this love? For you, yeah. For you, it was everything you ever wanted – it seemed that Gwilym walked into your life in that dark-blue suit at the end of the September right from your dreams. You didn’t even know when exactly you fell in love with him – but you knew it was more than just a simple arrangement now. At least for you.

“It’s not the point, baby”, his fingers traced different shapes on your back and Gwil could certainly feel you shivering under the dress. “You look good in everything”. He pressed a kiss on your forehead, and you both smiled. It was perfect.

“You must be the mysterious guy Y/N always talks about!” You let out a squeak and jumped back from Gwilym in an instant; your sister was leaning onto the doorframe and grinning impishly. You pressed a hand to your chest and cursed under your breath. “I’m Becca, her elder sister”, her and Gwil shook hands and you couldn’t but roll your eyes; Becca was up to something. You didn’t like the thought of it; any idea of your sister always turned out to be a disaster.

You all walked in the dining-room; and the whole place went from a loud chat to complete silence. Aunt Zelda, as you noticed, was examining Gwil thoroughly. You furrowed your brows and rolled your eyes; your aunt was evidently interested in a good-looking man who just walked in with you. You let out an exasperated sigh and rolled your eyes once again, this time thinking that they may just stay inside of your head if you do that one more time. You saw Billy barely holding back his hysterical laugh, when you sat down at the table; you stopped yourself from slapping your forehead and throwing something at Swift. Your attention was drawn to Becca and Jackson as they were having whispered conversation, while looking at you and Gwil. James looked confused, when you gave him a brief look; his opinion was the last one you were interested in. You were so invested in observing everyone’s reaction that you missed the main one – your mum’s.

“….boyfriend?”

You frowned hearing the scraps of the conversation; you turned your head and caught your mum and dad talking to Gwilym. You looked at them, being disoriented, as you heard him saying that. “Yes, I am. I’m Y/N’s boyfriend”.

You tilted your head, still furrowing your brows. Boyfriend?

“I’m Y/N’s boyfriend”, for fuck’s sake, what?

“Holy shit”, you almost mumbled, still staying bewildered; he didn’t just say what he said, did he?

Boyfriend? No. He was not your boyfriend. He was the exact opposite. He bought you expensive shit and fucked you into oblivion. He was your sugar daddy. He was providing you with money and taking you to luxurious resorts to spend the weekend there. He made an arrangement, came up with rules for both of you to follow. He had other women as his sugar babies, whom he fucked too. He was a boss in the huge ass company. He was a literal Disney Prince. He was this, and not your boyfriend.

But he took care of you when you were terribly sick after your romantic getaway in Aspen. He held you tightly when you were crying. He cuddled you until you fell asleep in his arms, both of you beaming. He praised every part of your body. He wrote you cute letters every day, saying how much he adored you. He told you he was proud of you when you got a promotion. He made you a bubble bath with candles lit around and sweet music playing on the background. He did facemasks with you while watching your favorite shows. He told you he didn’t want to let you go. He made you feel valued and protected, for the first time after two failed relationships. He made you feel as if it wasn’t just an arrangement. He made you feel like he loved you.

Your heart skipped a beat at this thought. Loved you? No, that was ridiculous. Gwilym couldn’t love you; he could love Alice, a small pretty thing with her piercing gaze and gracious movements; or his other sugar baby, Zoe, with her husky voice and plump lips. He could love someone much more skinnier than you, someone not that tall, and someone not that awkward. He was way out of your league; and still, somehow, he was there, at your family’s gathering, talking to your relatives and resting his hand on your thigh. He was there, with you, not anywhere else. He was there.

You exchanged glances, smiled at each other; throughout the whole evening he never stopped whispering into your ear about how beautifully you looked. He held your hand and kissed it, when there was an opportunity. Gwil was talking to your dad about science and business, like your father had a clue about any of those things; he even chatted with Billy for a moment, which made you smile lightly. It seemed to you that every time he looked at you, his eyes lit up. And for a moment you knew - he was yours. Only yours.

╰╮✾╭╯✯╰╮✾╭╯

rule №2. accept every gift that is given.

February.

It was so good.

The sound of Gwil’s skin clapping against yours, the way he gripped your hips and sucked on the skin in the crook of your neck made you arch your back, your breasts pressing into his chest. He growled, and it sent shivers down your spine. His thrusts were now faster, as he was as close as you.

“You like it like that, right, baby?”

You were clinging onto him as if it was the matter of life and death; and it was, indeed. He was giving you what you needed. Finally. “Yes, daddy”, you mouthed. “I’m so close”, you were breathing hard and saying these words wasn’t very easy as well; but it was what he wanted – you spoke. Gwil thrusted into you harshly, burying himself inside of you so deeply that you could only scream his name in pleasure. It seemed that you both had forgotten about the little game you played. You were more than happy to realize that; even though you were terribly wrong about Gwilym.

He started moving slower in you and then pulled out; your eyes were wide open the second he did that. What the actual fuck?

You rose on your elbows; your brows drew together as you watched this asshole slyly grin. “You said…” you were panting. “You said…you…”

“That I’ll let you cum in the bedroom?” he replied. “That’s true”, he shrugged his shoulders. “But you didn’t catch one little thing, love”, Gwil was hovering over you again. “By that I meant master bedroom. And this”, he pressed a kiss on your lips, “This is certainly not the master bedroom”.

You looked at him with wide eyes and sighed loudly. In a master bedroom? “There are seven bedrooms in this house”, you mumbled, when you head fell back onto the pillows. He was kidding, right? He didn’t let you cum neither in the kitchen nor in the living room, and promised you’d come in the bedroom – but now, turned out that he was just messing with you? You covered your eyes with your hand and sighed deeply. This was going to be a long ride; and with Gwil’s desire to edge you until you were begging and telling him exactly what he wanted – you knew you would be exhausted as fuck.

“This can end very quickly, y’know it, love”, he hovered over you, you could feel it; your eyes were still closed and jaw clenched tightly. You didn’t want to give in. You didn’t start playing this game just to let him win in the end.

It wasn’t exactly a game, though. You were just rejecting his gift, and that’s all. The only thing was that not accepting the present was another violation of rules. And, also, that his gift was a fucking three-storied house. A freaking mansion with a huge garage, a back garden, and, like, fifty rooms. He just said, “It’s a simple gift, love”, and you jaw fell open at his words. Simple fucking gift; the one you never asked for. That was too much. Money, Cartier bracelets, diamond necklaces and designer clothes were great and amazing, but the house? You knew Gwil couldn’t get enough of spoiling, but he crossed the line here, even for a sugar daddy. Even for this type of relationship buying a house was too much.

But he, apparently, didn’t think so. He kept on insisting it didn’t mean anything, that he didn’t even spend that much money on it. Your blood was boiling, and you could feel your ass burning with anger.

Now your ass was burning too, but because of how much Gwil was spanking you. You were ready to come undone just cause of it, but this asshole didn’t let you. He wouldn’t let you come until you accepted the gift. And even though you really liked the house, you couldn’t just agree on his terms and take it. No. It was too much. Even for such a rich dude like Gwil.

“I just have to accept your gift and shut up, right?” you said through gritted teeth. Gwil furrowed his brows, and took your hand from your face. Your eyes were open as you were looking at him irritably.

“I never told you to shut up”, his tone was serious as he was staring you in the eyes. “And it’s not what I meant. You know that”. He sounded offended; you suddenly felt guilty about your behavior. You were acting like a bitch the second you saw the house, and said some stupid shit, like “I hate this fucking house". He shouldn’t have bought it, but you shouldn’t be a brat about it either. He did it not 'cause he wanted to buy you, no; he did it because that’s how he showed his affection. And it was part of your arrangement, part of then rules after all; he always sticked to them, unlike you.

“I do”, you cupped his face in your hands, looking at him softly. “I know that you don’t mean anything like that”, you pressed a lingering kiss to his lips. He kissed you back eagerly, putting his hands on your waist and pulling himself lower, closer to you. You both were naked, aroused and hungry for each other. You pulled away trying to catch your breath. “But I still can’t accept this gift, Gwil”.

Gwilym let out a loud groan as he rolled over to another side of the bed. “Why’s that, Y/N?” he tried to sound neutrally but you could feel irritation coming out of his whole body.

“Baby, I told you already”, you sighed tiredly. “The house’s too big, too expensive. I can’t accept it”.

“It’s a gift, love”, he ran his fingers through his hair. “You don’t have to think about its price”.

You rolled over to face him, but he wasn’t looking at you; he lied on his back, breathing heavily with eyes closed. Too annoyed to even speak to you. And even though he wouldn’t speak to you through his mouth, you knew through what he would certainly answer you. If he said “no” to it, you would never insist on keep going. You were both keeping each other comfortable, always.

He was still rock hard and you had to restrain yourself from moaning. He might have been a huge ass with the whole edging thing today, but you wanted him like crazy, always and constantly.

He let out a groan when you straddled him. You tried your best to keep a straight face, but you were so fucking wet that no facial expression could save you.Gwil felt that; thinking that you were insisting on continuation of the sex, he put his hands on your hips, trying to make you move; but you had other plans for him. You took his hands off of you and put them on his sides. “What will people say when they learn I’m living in such a big house?” you traced circles on his chest with your fingers; he drew in a long breath, gripping the sheets. “No one would believe I’m able to even rent it. I’m not really rich, baby”, you kept maintaining eye-contact; him inside of you and neither of you moving.

“Fuck them”, he whispered. He made you feel like a goddess just by looking at you that lovingly and hungrily. You moaned at the thought, and Gwil took this chance to putting his hands on your hips again. You raised an eyebrow and brushed his hands off. He didn’t let you cum. Now you were going to torture him for a little bit as well.

“No touching, Gwil. You can’t do that unless I say so”.

He licked his lips and grinned, surprised by your sudden dominance. He liked seeing you like this: confident and naked. Gwil’s favorite moods of yours.

“Shit, Y/N”, he grunted. “You feel amazing. So tight and beautiful”.

You gasped; Gwil was well aware of the effect his words had upon you, and he smiled, no, he fucking grinned, looking at you, almost twirling in ecstasy already.

The smug look on his face vanished when you started rocking your hips against him. Moving up and down his cock, you moaned and clung on his chest with your nails. He hissed, gripped the sheets tightly but never touched you. You rode him fast and needy, trying to reach your climax sooner than he noticed. “Feels so good”, you whined. Sweaty, greedy, whimpering, with head tilted back and nails digging in his chest – just the sight of you like this could make Gwil lose control. He wanted to thrust into you harshly, touch you everywhere, run his fingers through your hear and caress your face as you rode you both to orgasm – but he followed your rules. Not only 'cause he liked that, but also because he wanted to show you that obedience wasn’t too bad. Although he would certainly disagree with it right now, when he couldn’t even kiss you. “Touch me”, you breathed, needing his hands on you. God, you needed him in so many ways.

“Finally”.

He squeezed your breasts immediately; you moaning echoed in the room, making him even more turned on than he already was. Your walls clenched against him, and no matter how much he wanted to continue your little game, he wanted to fuck you properly more. He wanted to hear you screaming, wanted to see your face when you cum. God, he wanted all of you just to him.

You felt your orgasm coming in any moment, and you bit your lip to hold back moans, so that Gwil wouldn’t stop. But he didn’t even intend to. Not this time. “Come on, baby”, he whispered, caressing your sides, “come for me”.

Gwilym’s words made you lose it, lose all the power you thought you had. You fell onto him, burying your face in the crook of his neck, as he was fucking you now, hitting that exact spot inside you that drove you crazy. “Gwil”, you panted against his neck; and your hot breath sending shivers down his spine and making him thrust into you harder. “I’m gonna cum”, you said in an unsteady voice, while gripping his shoulders and digging your nails in there.

“Let go, baby”.

He let out a pure animalistic growl and suddenly flipped you over, so you were underneath him. He attacked your lips with his, giving you the most heated and loving kiss in your life. You wrapped your legs around his waist so that he could have a batter access to hit your g-spot; with your hands on his neck, you didn’t let him to break the kiss, deepening it, trying to fight for dominance. But dominance was his thing in bedroom.

He buried himself so deep inside of you that you two could only moan into each other’s mouths; you both reached your highs together, skin to skin, in unison, screaming one another’s names and grabbing the sheets. You both needed that.

Some minutes later, when you came down from your high Gwil left a delicate kiss on your forehead and got up; throwing the used condom into the trash, he turned around and saw you lying down with your hand covering your face. The blissful smile on your face and steady breathing told him that you were ready to nod off.

“Falling asleep on me, aren’t ya?” he lied down next to you; Gwil took your hand and pressed a kiss to it.

You took a deep breath. “Just give me a couple of minutes”, your reply was weak; Gwilym chuckled and smacked your ass playfully. You giggled and turned your face to him; you struggled to even open your eyes.

“Let’s get some sleep, love”, Gwil said quietly. He adjusted your pillows and put a blanket over the two of you; after he pulled your closer, your back on his chest, and his arms wrapped around you. He kissed you hair and you smiled sleepily.

“I still can’t accept your gift”, you continued your almost long-forgotten argument. Gwilym took in a deep breath and buried his face in your hair.

“I can’t argue with you anymore”, he mumbled, “I’ll accept any decision you make, Y/N”.

“Thank you”, you whispered. “But I love this house”, he chuckled at your words.

“I know. I did everything here like you love it. Just for you”.

You smiled lightly and hummed in response. “Wake me up in ten minutes”, you said leaning in closer to him. “I’ll be ready to continue till we get to the master bedroom”. Gwilym pressed a warm kiss to your shoulder.

“This is the master bedroom now”.

As you nodded off, feeling warm and safe in Gwil’s arms, you were beaming; when your mind was drowning in drowsiness, you felt a warm breath on your neck and heard Gwilym’s voice saying softly, “I love you so much, Y/N”. But you knew it was just a dream. Reality couldn’t give you something like this. Never.

╰╮✾╭╯✯╰╮✾╭╯

rule №6. no contact with other sugar babies.

December.

“When you’re gonna be home?”

You locked your phone after texting Gwil; you didn’t want to bother him, but it was Christmas Eve and you weren’t amused by spending it alone in his empty penthouse. He was called for work, and promised you to come back in three hours. The clock struck five in the evening. Gwil left at ten A.M.

You sighed deeply as you looked at the served table. You wanted to surprise him by cooking a festive dinner; it wasn’t like you were a chef, on the contrary – you couldn’t cook for shit. But, as you planned this thing, you googled some recipes and tried to cook something simple, but yet delicious. You had strange desire to be domestic with Gwilym – to cook food, do laundry, clean the house, and take kids from school… You didn’t even know when you first started imagining you two living a happy, suburban life in a pretty house with three children. Before Gwil you didn’t want kids. Now you were questioning all of your life choices. You were never able to have hook ups and not catch feelings. And this was certainly just a “hook up”, as you thought in the beggining. Only now it was much more.

“Soon, baby. I promise”.

His text gave you hope; his “soon” could be in ten minutes. You looked over the table in panic, quickly lighting candles. You ran to the nearest room; looking yourself up and down in the mirror, you twisted a ring on your index finger nervously. This green dress was exactly what Gwilym liked: it was tight, giving a perfect opportunity to observe all of your curves, and also very short. The color wasn’t exactly in the style of Christmas, but red lace lingerie underneath the dress was quite in the mood of the holiday. You knew Gwil would have gone crazy the second he came back home. He gave you so much during those months and you just wanted to get him a pleasant reward; and you were also head over heels for him. That was pretty simple.

Suddenly you heard heels clattering on the marble floor of the living room; you frowned, trying to understand who was there. Was Gwil wearing heels? You wouldn’t be surprised at that. Or was it Gwil’s sister again? Not that you didn’t like her, you just wanted him all to yourself tonight; even though you weren’t against spending time with his family.

“Heather?” you called while heading back to the living-room.

It wasn’t Heather.

It was a girl in a coat and high-heeled ankle boots; her eyes were gleaming in the dark as she was reading the note she took from Gwil’s plate.

“Unwrap your gift”, she said; she raised her head and looked at you haughtily. “Who are you?”

“And you?” you asked in confusion. “How did you come in?”

“The door’s was open”.

“No, it was not”.

You stared at each other, trying to burn yourselves with your glares; you had a strong feeling that it was one of Gwilym’s other two sugar babies.

“I assume you’re Y/N”, she sat down at the table, at Gwil’s place. “You got a nice dinner here”.

“Thanks”, you squeaked. You already felt helpless and hopeless in front of her; she was this black-haired goddess with a sly grin on her face. She was confident. You weren’t like that. “That’s actually…” you were speaking quietly. “That’s for Gwil”.

She huffed. “Of course, it is. I’m Alice, if you don’t know that”, it felt like you were supposed to know her name and whom she was. It seemed like she was the one who was supposed to be there. You suddenly felt really uncomfortable in her presence; her whole behavior was telling you to get out.

And here you were again. Feeling unnecessary, needless, unwanted.

“I’ve been with Gwil since I was twenty-three, like you are now”, she took a sip from the glass with champagne. “We’re having three-year anniversary this year”, she said with a smug smile.

“You sound like you’re dating”.

“We do”.

“No”.

The sound of his voice was something you craved for. It was like oxygen in the room with no windows and doors. It was like a light in the darkness.

“Daddy!” Alice jumped from her seat and beamed. Oh god, you already wanted to leave. She was looking at him so hungrily that you didn’t even know what you were doing there. You were an extra one. Unwanted. “You’re back! Y/N was just leaving”, she glared at you and raised her eyebrows, giving you a silent order. And you, with your zero self-esteem and very high level of shyness, obeyed.

“I’ve gotta go”, you muttered, heading to the door. Gwil, who stood not so far from you, immediately reached out and grabbed you by the wrist.

“Y/N, no. Please. Don’t go. Please”. He begged you to stay. Gwilym wanted you there, with him. You. Not Alice. The realization of it hit you suddenly, as you looked in his eyes.

You nodded, and he let go of your wrist, now intertwining his fingers with yours. “Alice is leaving”.

“Now, I’m not!” she tried to object, but Gwilym had none of her bullshit.

“You’re leaving. D’you remember what rule number five is about?”

Alice lowered her head and mumbled, “Never visit each other without calling beforehand”.

“Exactly. You broke it. Now you’re staying without your monthly supply. And getting the fuck out of my house”.

You could have sworn she muttered “Bitch” under her breath as she was passing by you. When she slammed the door, Gwil went to close it quickly; then he approached you and pulled you into a hug. “I’m sorry it happened”, he whispered.

“T’s alright”. You were silent for a moment. “I made you dinner; was afraid she’s gonna eat it”.

Gwil laughed and pulled away, his gaze fixed on you; “Did ya, really?” he sounded surprised. You smiled and nodded; then you took his hand and leaded him to the table. “Wow”, he gasped. “You didn’t have to, Y/N”, your gazes met and you smiled at him one more time, your eyes sparkling like diamonds.

“I wanted to, Gwil”.

He pulled you in a desperate kiss; it seemed as if he tried to show his whole affection and gratitude through it. “Thank you, baby”, he whispered against your lips. “I don’t deserve you”.

You rolled your eyes, ruining the moment and walked to your seat at the other side of the table. “Don’t start this”, you said, sitting down. Gwil chuckled as he took his seat; some seconds later you caught him staring at you.

“What’s for dessert?”

You looked at him with raised eyebrow and a smirk on your face. “You will find out later”, you winked at him.

***

May.

“Y/N, stop apologizing. I’ve already told you everything’s alright”.

You couldn’t stop saying “Sorry” and nervously play with your hair the entire time you were sitting in your flat with Zoe; it was the first time you met each other and you were extremely anxious. She looked dazzling, like a star; she was smoking already a third cigarette in the last fifteen minutes.

“Alice’s the one who has to apologize, if to be honest”, she looked at you. “This bitch fed me with ugly lies about the sweetest person I’ve ever met”.

“Are you talking ‘bout me?”

“Absolutely”.

A small smile settled on your lips; Zoe was really sweet and nice, despite what you had been thinking about her. There was something charming, mysterious about her. You could certainly say why Gwil liked her, even if it broke your heart completely. “So, where were we?” Zoe asked.

“You were telling me about what Alice told you”.

“Oh right”, she nodded. “Alice has like a friend, a source in the company, where Gwil works. This “source” finds out everything about him, dunno how. This person told Alice about Gwil’s ex, Stefanie. I was fucking heartbroken after I heard that story”, she lit another cigarette.

“What’s about it?”

“Oh, Y/N, there’s so much. They were engaged, been together since school. Apparently, he loved her too much to notice that she started getting expensive jewelry and clothes. He believed every word she said, when she lied, telling she bought it herself. It turned out that she had three sugar daddies. And if he could forgive her just getting the money from them, he certainly couldn’t forgive her sleeping with all of them. It’s been like seven years since it happened and he’s still too eager to spoil us so much so that we wouldn’t even think about having someone else”.

You sat down on your couch, looking at Zoe in a state of complete shock. But she continued her story. “Gwil talks too much when he’s drunk; that’s how this source knows all of it”.

“You are his first sugar baby, right?”

Your question hung in the silence of the room. “Yeah. Been for four years”.

“And he never told you this?”

Zoe furrowed her brows and she took another drag. “No. We don’t talk about stuff like that. We usually just have some kind of small talk. He just gives me money-“

“In exchange for sex”, you interrupted her, voice thick with jealousy. Zoe chuckled.

“No. Not anymore at least”.

Your eyes widened at her words. “Why?”

Zoe shrugged her shoulders. “I dunno. He called it off several months ago, actually, with both me and Alice. He still gives us money, yeah, but nothing more than that. And if for the reason why – I think it’s ‘cause he’s just as in love with you as you’re with him”.

You gasped; you didn’t expect her to say something like that. You frowned and crossed your arms over your chest. “I don’t-“, you stuttered. “I’m not-“

“Yes, you are”, Zoe huffed. “Come on, Y/N, you know it’s true. He wouldn’t call off two opportunities to fuck whenever he wants just ‘cause he’s bored. No. There’s something more. He loves you, you dumb bitch”.

“He doesn’t, Zoe. He doesn’t and he never will”.

╰╮✾╭╯✯╰╮✾╭╯

You are awoken by a loud, non-stopping knocking on your door. You take in a sharp breath, struggling with getting up; your head is throbbing violently, as you stand up from the couch. It’s already dark outside; and you wonder how much time you have spent sleeping. Twelve hours? Fourteen? No matter how many of them – you are still sore, sad and hurt. Everything hurts so badly.

But you’re still wearing Gwil’s shirt. The feeling of its fabric on your skin makes you somehow feel better. Warmer. Makes feel a little bit alive.

The loud knocking proceeds as you walk towards the door. You think that it’s probably your mum coming to see you; you don’t answer your phone as you’ve been sleeping for so long.

When you open the door you expect to see a middle-aged woman with brown hair and angry voice, who’ll start lecturing you immediately as she always does. But your expectations are nothing compared to reality.

With red swollen eyes (like he’s been crying), messy hair and a backpack, which is slowly falling from his shoulder – that’s what he looks like standing at your doorstep. You don’t understand why he’s here, what he needs from you. You look at him as if he was a ghost, a phantom, a shadow, that will disappear at any moment. You can’t believe he’s here.

“Gwil?”

________________________________________________________________

wtf just happend am I right haha

“alio” taglist: @majesticdiscodeaky @heartsarecompatible @all-my-friends-are-german @magicwithaknife @longing-hiraeth @thelondondreamer5 @roger-taylors-drumsticks @runningoutofwordstosay @chlobo6 @you-and-i-deserve-the-world @queenficarchive @murydedeus03 @alis-volat-propriiis @deacycomics @hollandspcter @gwils-bitch @crazylittlethingcalleddub-step @painthatiusedto @kaylaylaylayla @rogerinastolemyheart @broken-pieces

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ralfstrashcan · 6 years

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3x15 Reaction / Commentary

........who died and made her queen? Literally no one finds it weird that the newby from a day ago holds announcements and motivational speeches? And I thought vampires don't like swift changes. Guess that was racist of me.

..................?? Literally who has ever denied the vampires entry? Except maybe the shadowhunters to their Institute and the werewolves to their home-restaurant? So she's basically saying “If anyone doesn't want us in their private homes we'll break and enter!” How is no one calling her out on how stupid that is??

hahaha how long did she work on that line?

........? Why? Because up until this point I was under the impression that the Accords where strictly restricted to governing the border between shadow world and mundanes, keeping them separate and protecting mundanes from demon and downworlder attacks alike.

If you care to remember, the whole mess with helping-save-Luke / not-helping-save-Luke in season 1 happens because Alec says shadowhunters aren't allowed to interfere in downworlder affairs, hence saving Luke would be seen as shadowhunters meddling in downworlder business which isn't a thing shadowhunters are allowed to do. It's why him going to lend Magnus his magic to save Luke was a Big Deal for him, because it was basically breaking the rules. It's why he was so against Jace and Clary helping Luke in the first place, because interfering is – at least the way I understood that! – a breach of the Accords, which grant downworlders the right to govern themselves.

In basically all other situations where there are conflicts between downworlders we don't see shadowhunters interfere: Luke beating Taito-or-however-he-was-called into submission, Camille being put into a coffin in the DuMort's cellar indefinitely for reasons. I'd even let myself be convinced that these might be exceptions, since those are ritualized thingies where downworlders decide who gets to rule, and so the shadowhunters aren't allowed to interfere even if their respective election systems consist of battle to the death / whoever wants to revolt revolts.

But how do you then explain all the other instances: Simon getting that Glen werewolf guy into a wheelchair and never facing any consequences except Luke scolding him a little, Simon fighting to the death with Quinn which never gets investigated, and don't even get me started on the seelie queen because she does shit however she wants to whoever she wants, kidnapping random werewolves and holding them hostage, putting marks of cains on unsuspecting daylighters, openly siding with Valentine, etc. and no shadowhunter ever cares about any of this! Not to mention that when Jace first encounters Jordan, he clearly recognizes his authority as Praetor and withdraws, indicating that the Praetor are an established and known organisation who deal with downworder affairs, and shadowhunters have to steer clear of them. Even Kaelie who murdered shadowhunters wasn't sentenced by shadowhunters! She was transfered back to the seelie court after she was captured and the seelie queen dealt with her as she saw fit. To me that simply fortifies that shadowhunters don't govern downworlder-downworlder-relations. If they don't even govern downworlder-shadowhunter-relations.

Besides, if shadowhunters really were supposed to police downworlder-downworlder-relations then please explain to me why the hell it's always treated like an invasion and an insolence if a downworlder dares to come close to the Institute? I mean, shouldn't there be a contact point for them to get in touch with their executive forces? Wtf??

So I guess this is just a random curveball the show throws my way to make this episode's plot work. And really, this is bullshit. I can't accept this. It's one thing to bend and twist portal travel and magic because, whatever, it's magic. But to just 100% turn around their entire frikkin legal system is not something you can just do! No!!

He 100% nicked that horse statue thingy from Magnus's loft to make him feel more at home in his room.

Also, I get that this is a cute parallel with the orange juice, but I also get that this is the show again depriving me of seeing Magnus and Alec actually waking up in bed together and it's NOT OKAY. I just want to finally see Alec “Little Spoon” Lightwood in action, is that too much to ask? Apparently -.-

Also, I have questions. If Alec is just putting on his day clothes.... did he go fetch Magnus's orange juice bare-chested? In his pyjama??? Does he have one with little bows and arrows? I need answers!!!

Rude hahaha, as if living with Magnus was a strenuous, orange-juice-less experience. Kidding, I know he's trying to make living at the Institute palatable to Magnus, quite literally.

I know I wasn't the only one who had severe Pirates of the Caribbean flashbacks at that because after the sneak peek aired I saw a gifset pointing out the parallel XD

Also

MAGNUS'S FACE Btw I think it's sweet that Alec spouts reassurances none of them buys just to make Magnus feel comfortable. Just like it's sweet that he brings Magnus a glass of orange juice that they both proceed to ignore, and to add insult to injury, Magnus gets himself a new one later. Rude.

Okay, so the runes we see here are the nourishment rune (blue), the sharing rune (green) and of course the stamina rune (yellow).... so shadowhunters know to eat real hard. And also... those two tiny tables are supposed to be enough to sustain all those people? With only drinks? Is this some perfidious game where shadowhunters just get drinks and need to feed themselves with nourishment runes? Barbaric.

Yeah I'm in the mood for pancakes now, too, thanks.

I'd like to repeat my question from last episode: If Sentry Guy wasn't planning for his untimely demise, how the hell did he want to hand over that data chip?

Okay but do you realize how amazing and hilarious that is? Because Izzy just came from the serving counter. If she wanted bacon she could have gotten some. But she didn't. To me this looks like routinely stolen food, maybe even just because it's on Jace's plate. This is something that happens regularly and I love it. Need more sibling-y Jace&Izzy interactions honestly!

Also? Izzy missing the piece of bacon on the first try hahaha <3<3<3

Can we please take a moment to appreciate Magnus's absolutely disgusted face and the fact that he carrys that tray with minimal finger contact? Hilarious.

1) I too was wondering why they didn't just go out for breakfast to avoid this situation, so I'm glad they mention that this option has crossed the protagonists' minds as well. 2) Why do they already have beverages on their trays when the refreshment tables with the glasses are off to the side? Possibly so they don't have to run around stupidly?

!!!!!!!!!What other food events are there??????? I need to know okay!!! Also, I think we can all agree that Alec isn't in it for the pancakes but to Prove A Point.

Also, quick question: Who the hell mans the serving counter, who cooks, who cleans the dishes, who buys groceries, who--- etc.

You know what I was just wondering? This is a new outfit, right? Has he moved all of his clothes to Alec's room? Or are they still in this apartment? What's Lorenzo gonna do with all that stuff? And also, do they really expect me to believe Magnus only had this one apartment and literally no other home anywhere? He couldn't have rune!portaled literally anywhere else? He couldn't have stayed with the ever elusive Catarina? Or crashed on Luke's couch since he's not currently using his apartment, being in jail and all? (Though to be fair, we never actually see Luke's apartment so who knows if it even exists? Since they kind of pretend that all werewolves live at the Jade Wolf.) Magnus couldn't have gotten a hotel? I mean he has cash, right? But sure. I'm totally buying that this was the absolutely only option he had.

Izzy is the best and I love her.

So is he supposed to step in as racist, now that Raj is gone? Cuz that'd be unrealistic. I'd buy it if he's miffed that Alec didn't tell him about this, since he's Head of Security and all and could have helped but istg if he reacts badly to Magnus being there I'm gonna flip my shit because Underhill totally ships Malec, okay, why would he react badly?? I'm anxious okay.

“They don't see a lot of warlocks in here.”

HAHAHAHAHAHAH OMG the sass!!!!!

I noticed this in the sneak peek already and honestly, I think the shadowhunters are just angry Magnus is there because he gets to eat fancier stuff than they. I mean, look at him! He even changed the shape of the glass because he's so extra. Love him.

Hahahaha who doesn't want to get a call from jail over breakfast from their father figure. Also I feel like those roles should be reversed XD

I mean, I get it. But thanks, Luke, for not relaying the crucial detail that this was Heidi or at least that Maia is still alive and to contact her for further info since he's in jail, and thus enabling everything that follows. It's not like he told Simon and Maia to drive off with Jordan because he'd handle filling in the Institute on all that happened. Honestly. He's like that one guy in group projects who says he'd do something and then just.. doesn't.

..............................................why Look I don't have the energy to rage about this but wtf Luke. If you think anyone would buy all those fang marks being caused by one person alone, then why not try to get the actual culprit to be imprisoned? Or at least, idk, investigated after to gain some time? Honestly. It's like he wants to go to jail.

Hahahaha okay this is too good an opportunity to pass up, so please go read the dumb drabble I wrote about this exact situation shortly after 3A aired. It's here.

Btw I wanna see that verdict. Because Luke's prints sure as hell aren't on the corpses, and keep in mind any forensic worth a damn should be able to notice that those people died half a day before Luke was found on the site of the crime. Not to mention that since Luke frequented the Jade Wolf it's not exactly surprising he'd want to check up on all his homies there. Not to mention he has zero motive (since his fallout with the pack is so recent nobody not involved would have noticed). And not to mention that he wouldn't even have had time to kill all those people in the 3 minutes after he arrived at the Jade Wolf and before his surveillance team caught up to him. Just, sigh.

Edit: Wow actually they're gonna find his prints all over the corpses because Luke, in his unending wisdom, touched them all to close their eyes. It's like he learned nothing in How To Not Get Imprisoned For Crimes You Didn't Commit 101.

Great Scene. Very relatable.

Though I gotta say I never got the feeling Maia particularly liked any of her packmates since we always only saw them hating on her for dating a vampire and being general idiots, but I'm gonna ignore that right now. It's easily arguable that their happy pack life together wasn't shown because it wasn't relevant to the plot.

And also.... how did they find the Praetor? Isn't their location top secret? How should I imagine that? Was Jordan lying in the backseat half dead, shouting instructions “Turn left now!! No, not your left, my left! Turn right dammit!!” Wtf.

RIGHT BACK AT YOU IZZY FFS. *sigh* Okayyyyy technically Clary killed him, but Izzy didn't react with all the indignated outrage she displays now and I vividly remember this and I already ranted about this at length after 3x04 aired. I'm so done with her attitude on this.

Since when does Alec accept the “I wasn't in control” excuse? Either you were in control, then you go to jail. Or you weren't, then you go in a holding cell because you're an unpredictable danger. In no scenario do you get a free pass. Wtf.

??????????? You get talked into crossing against a red light, not into a frikkin sadistic hostage-taking, what the actual hell???? Why does Alec buy that???? Is he stupid????

...................................wtf Alec I hoped you'd do better this episode, but apparently not?? I mean, not investigating anything, just taking random person at her word, not even taking the time to talk with Izzy – even worse, showing in front of a third party that he didn't know about the Raphael* thing – and finally, basically him making that offer half-felt like he was trying to get back at Izzy for her keeping secrets from him? Wtf Alec? Wtf? And also, since the only werewolves left are Luke (currently in jail), Maia (currently missing in action) and Bat (currently at home like the neat little werewolf armcandy that he is) it's really not like Alec is under time pressure to get the vampires who killed all the werewolves behind bars. What's gonna happen if he takes a few hours to investigate properly? There is literally no risk of a war breaking out between werewolves and vampires since there are basically no werewolves left. Wtf Alec, I just robbed you of your already super flimsy excuse for your behavior, so please. Explain yourself. It's as if he wants to make up for last week's inaction by making super swift decisions. Wtf. If this is not Plot Convenience then I don't know what is.

*I guess Alec stopped holding those weekly downworld cabinet meetings or otherwise he would have noticed that Raphael is missing...... LOL or else maybe they want to tell us less than a week passed since 3x04 which, honestly, I WOULDN'T EVEN BE SURPRISED OKAY

Luke and Clary and Jace are so frikkin stupid. I mean, it's not like they were in this exact same situation in this exact same precinct in season 1 and remembered to turn of the frikkin security cams are you kidding me wtf

Self-fulfilling prophecy, Luke. Well frikkin done. I don't even feel sorry for you.

Actually they kicked you out because they new you didn't prioritize them, but sure. Survivor's guilt. I get it.

Anyway now that Luke is caught on tape talking to non-existent people about werewolves and vampires I guess he'll go to the psych ward instead of the jail, so yay for improvement?

Quick question.... after the cut, to they just awkwardly stand around until someone opens the door again so Jace and Clary can slip out?

WTF Underhill don't make me hate you.

Izzy: “Raphael is not a bad person. He just made a horrible mistake.” Alec: “He commited a gross violation of the Accords.” Izzy: “He's trying to turn his life around.” Alec: “It doesn't change what he did.”

And yet.............. Alec pardoned Heidi....................... and yet..................................... Izzy hates on Jordan........................................... It's like no one on this show is able to assess situations consistently while disregarding personal relations to the people involved. Really. I don't even really expect it from Izzy because she's too passionate for that. But I sure as hell expected better from Alec. Smh.

................................................................. What. What even. Because doing things by herself worked out so well last time. Because Alec totally acts like his trust in her judgement wasn't shaken by this revelation. Wtf Alec, why do you agree to this. It makes no sense.

?????????? this is not the Aline from 2x15

and that bothers me because 1) why recast her wtf and 2) I think 2x15 Aline looked more approachable and warm and yeah wtf why recast her. So from now on I'm calling this imposter “Aline”. I'm serious. Watch me.

Plot Twist: In German they are dubbed by the same dubbing actress.

Edit: Apparently they recast here because 2x15 Aline wasn't available due to scheduling conflicts which, okay, valid. But I'm still calling the imposter “Aline”. I've commited to it already, okay??

Alec, your arguemnt is still invalid because the only werewolf ready to wage war is standing right in front of you and you said yourself you thought she was dead. Wtf man.

YEAH ALEC AND FOR THAT REASON YOU WAIT BEFORE YOU STRIKE A DEAL WITH SUSPECTS WTF MAN YOU OVERTHINK EVERYTHING BUT IN THIS YOU DON'T HAVE TIME TO WAIT THREE FRIKKIN MINUTES ARE YOU ACTUALLY KIDDING ME-- I'm exasperated, in case you can't tell. Mainly because Alec assuming Maia is dead makes no sense whatsoever. She wasn't among the dead, so why would he assume she's dead instead of escaped? Why didn't he try to track her? Why didn't he try to call her himself? Why didn't they call ahead?!* So many questions, all answered with two words: Plot Convenience.

*Oh right, because they trusted Luke to tell the Institute everything. But my point still stands. This miscommunication is ridiculous.

Also, can we talk about the pacing? In the time Simon needs to drive his and Maia's ass over to the Institute, Heidi walks in, Alec draws up an amnesty and organizes a mission, they go to the DuMort, secure all the vamps, and bring them back into the Institute. Just how slow was Simon driving? Makes no sense. Wtf.

Uh-huh. Sure, Head of Security, why would you need to know that. Also, who made those keys? Are they lying around somewhere in a spare drawer? So many questions.

Good save, man. I can accept that. Seems he's trying to do his job. But still. The way he half-whispered insolently during that mission briefing strikes me as really not fitting his character. He calls Alec “Sir” dammit. As if he'd stoop to such cheap bitchy behavior, especially when it stands to reason that the shadowhunter he was whispering to doesn't respect Alec like Underhill does because, y'know, gay and dating a downworlder and the general tendency of shadowhunters to be biased and racist.

LOL I guess the first thing I can really appreciate about this episode is that they make an effort to bring back stuff from the past season???

Aha. Looks like someone felt the need to change.

Clary: “He somehow got it in that twisted head of his that I'm gonna help him find it.”

........did I miss that part? Because I sure don't recall it.

Well, Simon, then I hope you have a degree in psychology and don't ask any leading questions that make her useless as a witness. Also, be sure to carry your plan out while Alec isn't present so your story will be more credible and Alec won't think you encanto-ed her so she says what you need her to say to get Heidi behind bars. Since, you know, you and Maia are totally neutral when it comes to this investigation. It's always a great idea to conduct investigations yourself when you're completely unbiased and absolutely not involved in any way, with no personal stakes in the matter. SIGH.

This.... was actually unexpected. See, this is why I like Heidi as a villain. She is smart and she knows how to cover her tracks. And that whole plan to stir up werewolves and vampires against each other was expertedly executed (even if her defense in front of Izzy and Alec was a little weak and Griffin could have acted a little less stupid).

Hahahahaha Magnus. Tbh though, Alec knew Underhill would be in charge of setting Magnus up with a key, and the long amount he thought about what the hell Magnus meant makes me think he doesn't really think handsome = Underhill. Surely not after that haircut amiright ok sorry sorry I'm shutting up. Underhill is a handsome guy.

Ugh. Okay, honestly I don't want to do this. I want to say this was a cute scene and move on. But I just can't move past Alec's apology. Why the hell does he apologise? He did nothing wrong? It's his typical my-opinion-doesn't-count,-whatever-the-person-I-love-says-must-be-right-and-I-am-wrong spiel and I hate it. It would have been something else entirely if he'd said “I didn't know this bothered you so much, I won't do that again in the future if it's a problem to you.” Finding a compromise while recognizing that talking about his issues is his right, since Magnus didn't ask him to keep quiet about it. No matter how good he knows Underhill – and I agree with Magnus on that one, it was strange for Alec to talk about his problems with someone he barely knows, but at the time it was, oh surprise, Plot Convienience to bait some cheating angst – it was his right and with his apology

he basically asserts that it wasn't. Because of some misguided jealousy from Magnus. Magnus should protest this immediately but he doesn’t, he just lets it sit there and just..... argh!

Also another thing, since I saw some people getting worked up over it: Yes, I read the scene earlier in the way that Alec didn't realize Magnus was talking about Underhill because he finds him so super hot, but because context reasons. Still, even if he did find Underhill attractive... that's not a problem? It's part of interacting with someone and looking at their face while talking to them and by the way realizing “Wow, this person isn't fugly.” If he spent all his days oogling Underhill that would be something else entirely, but he obviously doesn't. So, even if his conclusion was “Handsome? Must be Underhill!” that wouldn't make him a bad person. We all know he only has eyes for Magnus.

*sigh* I'm a weak woman, okay, this placates me a little.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA I C A N ' T The fact that he thinks he needs to clarify!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Amazing.

I have so many questions. If she wakes up, will she hold her breath again? I honestly expected her to be dead after Heidi's order, but apparently encanto only takes hold of the person's actions while they are conscious. So this leads me to the question why the f Nora is in a coma instead of simply unconscious, since if your brain doesn't get oxygen you slip into unconsciousness, not coma wtf.

...............by? The shadowhunters on washing machine handling duty?? So many questions.

.........or just do it right away. Why wait?

!!!!!!!!!YES at least someone has common sense left this episode. It physically pains me that this person is Jonathan. Wtf, show.

1) Soooooo why is his magic suddenly blue again? Though it's slightly tinted so I guess one could argue that this is Magnus trying to cover up the ugly Lorenzo-color. 2) Did the nurse really let them all in? Are they using glamors? I need answers. 3) Won't this place be swarming with doctors as soon as she wakes up?

“This is Maia. If you're hearing this, it's because my phone's battery sucks.”

Hahaha, I approve.

Lol this is the other reason I like Heidi as a villain, she's cheeky.

That.......... WAS UNEXPECTED OH MY GOD WOOOW I DID NOT SEE THAT COMING!!! Color me impressed!!! And from Maia no less, who's always throw fists first, think straight later!!!

But..... while we saw where she got that syringe from I can't help but wonder where the hell she got that Holy Water from? Also how the hell did Simon, Magnus and Alec know in which back alley exactly she was hiding?? Guess we'll never know.

Soooooo whenever she stares into the flames she gets a Jonathan-possession-episode???? Okay??????? Why?????????????????? But anyway, the solution to their predicament seems clear: Just keep her away from fire. Then again they're shadowhunters, so compulsively lighting candles is a thing, so I see where this might get difficult.

You know, this scene would probabley even touch me emotionally if I wasn't busy muttering wtf under my breath because I'm still not over how they completely screwed over the Accords. With the way things were back in 3x04 what Izzy did in banishing Raphael was nothing more than an exceedance of competence. (Yes, Raphael deserves punishment for what he did, but not. from. Izzy.) And now suddenly it's a law-breaking act of compassion? Wtf, no, doesn't compute.

Also, as Bohemian pointed out: why the hell is Raphael's Dramatic Pre Jail Scene with Izzy instead of, idk, Magnus who's like a father to him and also at the Institute in this very moment?? Why do those two don't get any screen-time together when their relationship is more profound than, sorry, anything between Izzy and Raphael?? Tbh reducing Raphael to a pining mess who's only thinking about Izzy makes him feel real two-dimensional to me and he deserves wayyy better than that.

...................you know what? No!! Too late!! I've mentioned it in a past reaction post (from 3A I think) that I would have loved for this to be the reason they break up: Maia's okay-ness with ending a conflict through violence and Simon's relative patriotism. And even though this scene was everything I hoped for in this regard it still leaves a stale taste in my mouth because it's come too frakkin late. They are already broken up and their break up scene wasn't up to par. And why wasn't this their break up scene? Because if they'd been together up until now we couldn't have gotten the Jordan/Maia cuddling. Ugh.

Also this

would have certainly packed more of a punch if it came from someone who was consistently opinionated that way and wasn't randomly stricken by “I don't give a damn who gets injured, I have a gig to get to” moods (and yeah, I'm still not forgiving that, Simon).

Ohhhh no Magnus, stay away from that carpet, bad things will happen here, didn't you see the sneak peek????

WOW I am impressed, this is more than I expected so I'm really happy about this, especially since we all know how Magnus “It's all in the past” Bane normally deals with conflicts. You can see how much it costs him to get over himself and say this, and I love it. (What I don’t love is that Alec immediately glosses over this and barely even registers it but, whatever, that’s not Magnus's fault. He did what he should have done, and I’m happy about it.)

“Having an outsider live at the Institute, that is against protocol. And how can I expect everyone else to follow the rules if I don't follow them myself?”

I mean, I don't really think Maia would have refrained from her little murder plot if Magnus had spend the night at a hotel instead of in Alec's bed, but I recognize Alec at least attempting to be true to his rule-abiding, authority-acknowledging character for five seconds. So I'm somewhat semi-..... uh, quarter-proud of him.

Awwwww and Underhill just worked the whole day to get him settled in, the poor guy.

AGAIN WOW you can see how much courage it costs him to ask this after last half-season's moving-in-talk went so smoothly!!! I love it!!!

I LOVE IT!!!

I HATE IT!!! Yeah wow, I really hate it. Why can't they be happy for two seconds istg!!!!!

Btw I'm ordering you to read Matt's live tweets because they are therapeutic, okay.

(Bacon Gif Source)

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trueroselle · 5 years

Text

I loved Kylo Ren from the moment he stalked down from his ship in TFA, so after I had first watched it I spent too much time trying to figure out how Han and Leia’s child became so badly messed up.

And Rey- she was a powerful, self sufficient woman with a kind heart. Her history and her connection to Kylo intrigued me. I shipped them by the time they met in the forest.

So my brain gave them a tragic backstory.

I had pictures floating around in my head of a young Ben, a little boy with dark hair and big eyes, waiting for Han and Leia. Waiting for the day when he could go with them. Waiting for the galaxy to be safe.

For the the twins and Han knew- the galaxy still needed saving, the New Republic was barely standing on its new legs. The Empire had been dealt a killing blow, but there were others vying for the vacant throne. Besides, they didn’t leave Ben alone; he would be fine. They would be home soon -just a few meetings, one empire base to eliminate- one more diplomatic mission. He was in good hands. They would be home soon.

Those “good hands” belonged to Siria, daughter of the new Senate leaders, the Garens of Coruscant. Siria was older than Ben, full of energy and as Han called it ~spunk~. But the Garens were wary, their rise to to the top of the senate had not been without bloodshed and enemies. They would not risk their daughter on missions or take her to the senate. So when the Solos and Garens were off to save the galaxy, Ben and Siria stayed.

Siria found she and Ben were alike; they were both left behind. So Siria grew to love her little brother Ben Solo. She loved to show him how to play blaster ball, how to get droids to bring hot chocolate, how to have a pillow fight, how to live. Ben Solo loved the sunshine girl who told him he wasn’t alone.

From a forgotten outer rim planet, Snoke was watching. Keeping appearances as neutral towards the republic, in secret, he amassed followers who saw the new republic as weak. Planting lies and sowing discontent, Snoke manipulated the leaders who desired power. When Snoke first felt young Ben Solo’s force abilities, he sent spies to find what he could use to harness this strength —to find the weakness of this new powerful force wielder. And he waited.

Life was becoming good for Ben. A friend who understood him and world to explore. And on the summer evening when little Rey Garens was born, Ben felt the universe smile. He didn’t know why. Maybe it was celebrating with them.

But time goes too fast. Ben and Siria were growing up. They were not together as much for the Rebublic had settled in a quiet calm. Ben began training with his uncle while Siria was started full tilt into pilot lessons. Little Rey would totter after them when she could; she didn’t like being alone.

Snoke had what he wanted: a way to break Ben Solo without starting a full-out war. An attack that would not be traced to him, the assumed motives would never be the truth.

The attack came one grey morning. Siria was leaving for another training stint, climbing up into her new X-wing. She was happy; she was doing what she loved, her family was home and she had time with Ben. Ben was saying goodbye because he was leaving to spend the next number of months with Luke. He already felt lonely.

A single blaster bolt shot through the hanger. Siria, laughing, happy Siria, collapsed. Ben’s world went silent. There was a blast of power in the hanger. Ben supposed it was from him. He did not care as he reached for her, as he felt for a pulse. Nothing.

The world spun too fast. There were voices. Crying. Rage. Ben heard a whisper in his head you were not strong enough to stop the blaster you failed your friend you let her die she’s dead she’s dead she’s dead.

The Garens sank into a raging numbness. An attack on the senate leader’s daughter in the family’s private hanger took planning and knowledge. Someone wanted them gone or dead. They would quickly disappear for while and take Rey somewhere where they would not be found. Leia could handle the senate. Rey and her mother left that night. Aran Garen would follow as soon as he was able.

They were being watched. As they traveled to Lanya’s home planet, a cloaked ship began relentlessly firing at the Greystar. Lanya made a choice. She looked at her little Rey. She would come back as soon as she could. The planet was a barren, yes, but unknown. She could be safe there for a little while. Telling Aran her plan, she raced to Jakku.

Aran’s nightmare days never ended. His last breath he spent trying to contact Lanya, as his ship exploded above Coruscant. Upgraded security and a careful search had never found the hidden bomb.

The Solos and Chewie searched for Lanya on Bakura. There was no sign she and Rey ever arrived. No breath of them anywhere. No messages or distress signals. After the initial uproar, the senate was shaken. Many senators hired more bodyguards and quietly showed their planet’s strength, but no outright declarations of war. Only accusations and careful military displays.

Ben grew thin and pale. And when Leia kissed his forehead or Luke laid a hand on his shoulder, when Han called him kid and ruffled his hair; he wanted to tell them about the whispers, the voice in his head. But his own body would betray him; his throat would close up and suffocate him when tried to tell them how he could still hear her laugh, see the blood on her jacket.

Months past but the faraway voice that continually spoke to Ben’s mind grew bolder. These Jedi rules will never bring peace. The Jedi do not fight for justice. They did not seek out the killer. She is dead and they did not seek to avenge her. She is dead and no one cared. They are dead and no one had the power to do anything.

And he listened.

His parents still wished for him to train. They could see his pain, but they did not see that forces played with his mind. They wanted him to find peace.

Ben became reckless in his sparring with Luke. More aggressive towards the other padawans. More unstable.

In the dark of the night Ben trained and practiced until he could shoot a blaster and suspend and release the bolt at will. He would not be weak. He would become powerful. Then death would never hurt him again.

Ben grew more dangerous. Luke knew and was afraid: for Han and Leia, for Ben, for his students. He did not know what to do;what worked in the past was not helping now. His attempts to talk to Ben and pull him back from his dark path only seemed to cause damage. He did not know how to pull Ben out of this darkness.

Luke told Ben his training would stop until Ben had let go of his grief and anger. Ben’s reaction was worse than Luke expected; enraged, Ben attacked. But Luke was still the stronger lightsaber fighter, and when the Padawan Jekan heard the fight and came to help his master, Ben fled.

Leia tried to be hopeful that her son would return, but as weeks past and he did not, even she feared what his dispair and rage might do to him. Han and Chewbacca searched and listened for a word, a clue to where he might have gone. After enough drinks, every bar and nightclub had its free talkers, but no one knew of Ben Solo or where he might have gone.

And in Ben Solo the voice still raged and called for justice. He fled to Coruscant and spent his time searching for the assassin. Assuming the identity of a senate guard to access the security records, Ben found one file that gave him hope. A worker joined not long before the attack and disappeared a few days after the Garens left. He hunted for the guard, Lore Wes, but he had vanished.

But there were bounty hunters. Ben knew that Coruscant’s underbelly had its own law and he could pay to have the hidden found.

Many nights were spent crawling though that dark underworld, as Ben bribed and bartered to learn who could give him what he wanted. And when Ben walked into his meeting with the the famed bounty hunter, Sallen Q’ot, his heart stopped. His search had ended; here was the senate guard Lore Wes. The voice whispered kill him now. So he did.

As Ben drove his lightsaber through the man’s armored chest, his light saber crackled and hissed. The man fell to the floor as the crystal shattered. Perhaps the light rejected the cold murder, the swift vengeance, and cracked the crystal so it would not be used wrongly again.

Ben left the bounty hunter dead, expecting to feel relief and calm now that Siria’s death had been avenged. But rage and anguish still held him by the throat; killing had not fixed the shattered part of him. Sometimes he found it hard to breath, hard to forget the pained gasp, the cracking blade. The death by his hands.

Ben did not know that killing the servant only brought him closer to the master. Snoke was pleased, young Ben Solo was broken enough that Snoke could use him. Ben only needed a teacher, someone who could teach him how to use the abilities the Jedi reject. He would be a powerful weapon to wield, a weapon that Snoke would use to bring the galaxy to its knees. Snoke was ready to meet Ben Solo.

On a dry desert planet, little Rey wept and waited, hoping for ship that was nothing more than ash and a mother who promised to come back. There was no one to tell her that she was hoping in vain; the family she loved could not come back to her. So a little girl was left burning and starving in a land of endless sand.

———————————————————

This is the story I was hoping the TLJ might tell, but that came out and kicked this theory to the outer rim. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I’m super excited for The Rise of Skywalker (I’m not sold on the title tbh) but I doubt JJ Abrams will go this route either. Anyway, I thought I could put this out there.

#ben solo #reylo #rey #star wars #reylo fanfic #kylo ren #tragic backstory #ive been working on this for a long time #then the trailer came out #and i rushed #its a long time until IX #sorry for the long post

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senatorrorgana · 7 years

Text

Saving What We Love

Summary: Continuing the little moment where Poe & Rey finally meet in TLJ and Poe may or may not finally get to at least sit in the pilot seat of the Falcon.

Pairing: Damerey

A/N: My first Post-TLJ fic for Damerey is finally complete! I'm excited about what Episode 9 may give us, JJ don't let me down now! Also, this fic is an early birthday gift for @tulleofdecember20th , her birthday is coming up on the 20th and you guys should go give this fellow Damerey shipper some awesome birthday wishes ;)

AO3: (x)

The Resistance wasn’t much anymore, barely enough people to fill up the Millennium Falcon and narrowly escape the certain death that awaited them during their last stand on Crait. The loss was always something Poe had trouble dealing with, and though he knew the moment he joined the Resistance that he’d be surrounded by it, he never imagined them being engulfed in it like this. But he still smiled despite all of it, part of him still smiling for the sake of those around him who had lost so much in the past few days, the other part, well, that part of him still held onto the small sliver of hope he desperately needed to believe in. They were on their own, at least for now, with nowhere to go other than the infamous freighter they were now aboard until they could find a suitable new base. In all the commotion, he’d almost forgotten that he should finally introduce himself to the woman who saved them all from certain death.

He wasn’t surprised to see BB-8 at her side, his little droid hadn’t stopped talking about Rey since the moment they were reunited, the droids little circuits nearly overloading with all the wonderful stories he told of Rey and Finn protecting him and getting him back home. He’d only briefly seen Rey at the D’Qar base before she was sent off on her mission to retrieve Luke, but he never got the chance to thank her for BB-8, now it seemed he had more to thank her for.

He walked up to her and the moment she looked at him, he felt nervous. It was something like the first time he met Leia Organa in person when he was stunned and taken aback that he was lucky enough to be in her presence. Rey was a hero so many times over now, doing these impossible feets and saving the Resistance time and time again, she was kind and strong, especially strong with the Force which he had to admit was an amazing sight to see firsthand.

“Hi,” Poe managed to finally speak, her eyes meeting his while she got to her feet.

“Hi,” She replied.

“I’m Poe,” He introduced himself.

She looked down for a brief moment before looking up again as she spoke, “Rey.”

“I know,” Poe said with a nod and a smile he couldn’t quite wipe off of his face.

She lit up with a grin that was contagious, it was hard to look away from or break the small moment between them. For a moment, it felt like the noise around them died down to silence, like the galaxy was waiting with bated breath for something else to happen between them.

“Thank you,” Poe said, breaking the silence.

“For what?” Rey asked curiously, her features scrunching up in confusion.

For what? He felt like asking, she’d only saved them all. “For a lot of things, really,” Poe said, “For saving Beebee-Ate, for saving all of us. If you hadn’t come for us, I don’t know what would have happened back there.”

Deep down, Poe knew what would have happened, they would have died, and the hope for the galaxy with them. How could they ever repay her for all she’s done? How could he ever repay her for saving his only friend in the galaxy and bringing him new ones along the way?

“Oh,” Rey said, looking away again with a slight pink coming to her cheeks, “it’s no problem, really.”

“We wouldn’t be here without you,” Poe said, trying to catch her eye and let her know his sincerity.

Her hazel eyes met his again and her smile returned. He felt happy for the first time in a while talking to her, and he couldn’t quite put his finger on why.

“Are you alright?” Poe asked, she looked at him confused for a brief moment, “I mean, you went through a lot, probably haven’t had a second to think over the past few days, and you’re hurt,” He pointed to the mark on her shoulder, though he could sense that there was a deeper pain.

“Oh, it’s nothing, I’m fine,” She quickly said, covering up her shoulder, “I’ll be okay.”

“I know we just met and everything but...if you ever need to talk to someone, I’m here,” Poe offered up, “it’s the least I could do after all you’ve done for us.”

BB-8 chimed in now with a beep of his own, causing them both to laugh.

“And Beebee-Ate too,” Poe made sure to add.

Leia clearing her throat was enough to break their moment together, leaving Poe wondering how long the General had been standing there and listening and how he didn’t notice her by his side.

“Commander, do you think I could borrow Rey for a minute?” Leia asked, using his old title once again.

“Of course, General,” Poe gave her a nod, “I’ll go check on how everyone else is doing. It was nice to meet you, Rey.”

“Nice to meet you too, Poe.” Rey grinned.

Even as he walked away, that smile of hers stayed on his mind, and even when he should have been paying attention to other matters now on the ship, he found himself looking over at her.

Rey was talking to Leia or trying to at least, she found it hard to focus after everything that had happened. She had so much to tell Leia, about Luke, about Ben but found it hard to find a good place, to begin with all of that. Instead, her brain wandered onto other thoughts, she wondered who the girl was that Finn seemed so intent on taking care of, she wondered where the Resistance would go from here, but perhaps the most nagging thought she now faced was simply the thought of Poe Dameron. He wasn’t what she expected in the least; sure, BB-8 had told her stories of him on Jakku without really saying his name, saying he was the best pilot in the galaxy and the kindest master that any droid could hope to have, but she figured them to be musings of an unshakeable loyal droid or that his master was someone cockier or older or just not the Poe Dameron she’d actually met.

There was just something about him that she felt through the Force, some kindness that was relentless, some warmth that was reaching out towards everyone around him, something peaceful that drew her to him now with her mind a mess. But despite the peace he seemed to offer, it wasn’t something Rey could focus on at the moment, there were too many other things on her mind. After her talk with Leia and the broken lightsaber safely tucked away, Rey thought some flying with Chewie might help clear her head.

Instead, she ended up walking right into part of her problem. Poe Dameron was standing outside of the cockpit, Chewie inside and carefully trying to pilot the ship while swatting the new porg residents of the Falcon off of the control panel.

“Hey,” Rey said, pulling away from Poe and trying not to blush at her own embarrassment.

“Hey,” Poe said, seemingly unfazed by her clumsiness, “funny running into you here.”

“Sorry,” Rey sighed, “I-”

“Hey, I was kidding,” Poe assured her with a smile, “don’t worry about it.”

Rey gave a slight nod and let the silence settle between them, almost curious to see if the slight warmth she felt earlier from him was still there, and relieved knowing it was. “What are you doing up here?”

“Honestly, I’ve been dreaming about the Falcon since I was a little kid, I never thought I’d get to see it in person much less fly in it,” Poe said, his eyes scanning the room around her with a sense of wonder that Rey couldn’t even begin to put into words, but could very much feel through the Force, “I kind of tried to go in there but Chewbacca didn’t appreciate it much.”

“Chewie doesn’t like new people in the cockpit much,” Rey said, “come on, I’ll have him let you in.”

“You don’t have to-”

“Chewie,” Rey called out to the Wookie, walking into the cockpit with a slightly nervous Poe behind her, “Poe can come in here, he’s a pilot.”

The groans and grumbles that might have sounded like nonsense to most made perfect sense to Rey while she listened to Chewie’s reasoning.

“He’s one of the best pilots in the Resistance, he’s not going to mess anything up,” Rey said.

“I won’t touch anything, I swear,” Poe chimed in.

A few more reluctant grumbles came from Chewie.

“It’ll be fine Chewie,” Rey assured the Wookie one last time before turning to face Poe, “you can come in, he’s fine.”

Chewie complained some more but eventually subsided, keeping his eyes on the control panel in front of him.

Rey watched as he walked into the room, slowly and cautiously, almost afraid to disturb the very air in the room the wrong way.

“You want to sit in the pilot seat?” Rey asked.

This caused both Poe and Chewie to look at her now, Chewbacca on the verge of protest from what Rey could sense.

“It’d be an honor,” Poe said, “but I don’t want to impose.”

“You’re the best pilot in the Resistance, aren’t you?” Rey asked with a slight grin, “I wouldn’t trust it to anyone else.”

“If it’s alright with you, Chewie,” Poe said now, leaning over to catch a glimpse of the Wookie.

Rey couldn’t help but grin slightly now, sensing Poe’s kindness through every word he spoke.

Chewbacca grumbled and groaned, and from the look on Poe’s face, she knew he couldn’t understand a thing that he said.

“Chewie said that since you asked it’s okay,” Rey clarified for him.

Chewbacca interjected with more that made Poe stop in his tracks.

“He also said that it’s a one-time thing,” Rey said.

“Completely understandable, thank you Chewbacca,” Poe said.

Poe sat down in the seat slowly and carefully, taking in the sight from the pilot seat once he was settled. He smiled bigger and brighter than Rey had ever seen anyone smile in her life, like a child filled with pure joy. She knew it took every ounce of his willpower to not touch anything around him despite how badly he wanted to actually pilot the ship.

“I can’t believe this ship is real,” Poe said in a half whisper to himself.

“It took me a little bit to realize that too, that I was actually on the Falcon,” Rey admitted, taking the seat behind Poe and peering over his shoulder.

“It’s one hell of a ship,” Poe said.

“She sure is,” Rey agreed.

Poe turned to smile at her yet again, and for some reason, Rey finally felt a bit of peace. She didn’t know where the Resistance would go from here, or where they could go for that matter, but Poe gave her the sense of stability, if only for a little bit.

#damerey #jedipilot #poe x rey #star wars #my writing #poe dameron #rey

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jasonfry · 7 years

Photo

“Duty Roster” is my contribution to the unbelievably fun Del Rey anthology Star Wars: From a Certain Point of View. (Please go here to read more about the project and First Book, the charity it benefits.) As promised, here are some notes about the story and a discussion of its construction.

(SPOILERS MOST DEFINITELY AHEAD! SERIOUSLY! STOP!)

“Duty Roster” was my Plan B for From a Certain Point of View -- the scene I asked to do was taken. Happily, the consolation prize was pretty good: in the same email I’d also proposed a story I wanted to tell nearly as badly, which I described as “Wedge with the other pilots.”

But I had a twist in mind: my POV character wouldn’t be Wedge, but Fake Wedge.

If you’re not a massive Star Wars dork like I am, this will require a little explanation.

That’s Wedge Antilles sitting next to Luke in the Yavin 4 briefing room as General Dodonna tells the rather skeptical pilots the plan for attacking the Death Star. Wedge says hitting a two-meter exhaust port is impossible, even for a computer; Luke, apparently hell-bent on coming across as a yokel who says nonsensical things, replies that he used to bulls-eye womp rats, which aren’t much bigger than two meters.

Here’s the funny thing: the actor in that scene isn’t Denis Lawson, who plays Wedge in the cockpit scenes in A New Hope, as well as in The Empire Strikes Back and Return of the Jedi. They sound the same, but they sure don’t look the same.

That’s because they aren't the same. Wedge is played by two different people in A New Hope. In fan circles, briefing-room Wedge became known as “Fake Wedge,” and arguments about the identity of the actor who’d played him went on for years -- until Lucasfilm’s Pablo Hidalgo dug into production reports and Web images and proved that briefing-room Wedge was an English actor named Colin Higgins.

Why the switch? By Higgins’ own admission, he kept flubbing the line and got fired. Happily, Hidalgo’s discovery led to Higgins joining the Star Wars convention circuit and getting some love and recognition from fans before his death in 2012.

So why does Wedge sound "right” in the briefing-room scene? Because all of his lines in the original trilogy were dubbed by a third actor, David Ankrum. If you were miffed by reports that Lawson had no interest in a Force Awakens cameo, perhaps you have more sympathy for him now. Also: you should stream the 1983 movie Local Hero. Lawson has a starring role, he delivers his own lines, and he’s wonderful.

Anyway, Fake Wedge became a part of Star Wars lore, with his different appearance just one of those movie moments in which you had to suspend disbelief.

For FACPOV, I figured we could have a little fun with that. Hence my proposal: I wanted to do a pilot story about Wedge, except I’d be writing about Fake Wedge, who wasn’t Wedge at all. He was another pilot who was frequently mistaken for Wedge, and hoo boy was he tired of it.

I thought that was pretty funny. My editor thought it was pretty funny. The folks at Lucasfilm, presumably, thought it was pretty funny.

I was pleased with myself (and tweeted out a picture of a Wedge figure standing next to Aunt Beru and her blue-milk pitcher), at least until I realized something I hadn’t thought through earlier.

Fake Wedge not being the same as Wedge was a gag. It was a pretty good gag, but a pretty good gag is still just a gag. It would take about 500 words or so for me to tell that joke. What would I do after that?

That’s where I realized I’d actually signed up for something pretty challenging, and got a little worried.

“Duty Roster” wouldn’t work if it was just a Fake Wedge gag. It had to pivot from that and become something else -- a story that captured the terror of the Yavin 4 battle from the perspective of those left behind and saluted the heroism of the pilots who’d fought in it. The reader had to start off identifying with Fake Wedge, but wind up appreciating and admiring Real Wedge. And Fake Wedge had to make that same journey.

I realized that was a tough landing to stick, and 2,500 words (or however long “Duty Roster” turned out to be) wasn’t a lot of time in which to stick it. Well, there was no way to solve it except to get to work.

Before we go any further: Is “Duty Roster” canon? Beats me. I wrote it as if it were, working carefully on Red Squadron’s assignments and making sure the scenes in Massassi Base matched the movie. But that's just good practice. I suspect The Powers That Be would rule that it isn’t -- they’d say Wedge is Wedge, long pointy nose or not. Which is just fine with me -- and, for the record, would be my ruling too. My only concern was telling a good story.

Job One was giving Fake Wedge a name. “Col” was easy -- that rather obviously honors Higgins. “Takbright” came after a couple of false starts, and was a portmanteau of two TV roles from his long career.

From there, I told the joke, which I will now ruin by explaining.

We see Col first, raging about the nickname he hates -- a nickname that I had to avoid specifying for as long as possible to make the joke work. A Mon Calamari tech, Kelemah, thinks Col and the person he’s confused with look alike -- but then all humans do to him. (Setup, plus mild social commentary.) Kelemah then notes that Col and his doppelganger sound exactly alike. (More setup, Ankrum tip of the cap, the most astute readers now realize what I’ve done.) A veteran pilot, Puck Naeco, almost says the forbidden nickname, but falls back to asking what, exactly, “the kid” said to make Col so mad. (Bit of misdirection, more setup.) Col recounts the two-meter objection we know as Wedge’s line. (Some readers now get it, which is a reward but means I’ve got to hurry to the punchline while they’re still smiling.) Biggs enters with other pilots, including Wedge. (Pieces moving into place.) One of those pilots, Elyhek Rue, mistakes Col for Wedge. (Board now set.) Laughter, and Puck explains that’s why Col is and will always be known as Fake Wedge. (Punchline, and scene.)

See what I mean? We’re less than two pages in and the joke has been told. Which is why I also used the gag to introduce the most important characters for the more serious story “Duty Roster” would have to become.

To pivot effectively, I couldn’t tell the joke and then take time to introduce a bunch of new characters to the reader. So we’ve got pilots and techs doing double duty for the gag and the serious story. There’s Puck, who’s Col’s mentor. Kelemah, whose technical knowledge will be critical later. Rue, who will be with us throughout. And of course Wedge himself. That’s a variant of a basic lesson: storytelling is most effective when scenes and/or characters are advancing the story on multiple fronts.

With the gag behind me, I had to establish Col as a sympathetic yet flawed character. And so I dived into that, setting up Col and Wedge as opposites in temperament and attitude. Col is dedicated to the rebel cause but thinks his anger reflects well on him; he’s too self-absorbed to realize it’s what’s holding him back. He sees Wedge as too quiet and reserved, perhaps even insufficiently devoted to the cause -- which is both unfair and untrue, and says nothing about Wedge but everything about Col’s immaturity and jealousy.

The pilots get their assignments, which is where Col’s dreams turn to dust. I had to engineer it so Luke’s flight of three is the last one filled out with pilots, and the final spot seemingly comes down to Wedge or Col. There’s no particular reason that flight would be announced last, so I suggested that Red Leader is filling flights in order from most-experienced pilots to least, with Luke a bit of a wild card since he’s just shown up. You can see the storytelling gears turning a bit there, which you’d rather avoid. But sometimes you can’t, and I like to think I got away with it.

A brief continuity note, for those who are interested: I’d filled out Red Squadron for The Essential Guide to Warfare, in a section whose most notable contribution was assigning Puck Naeco (originally introduced way back in the strategy guide for the X-wing game) to the up-for-grabs call sign Red 12. I was happy to do so again in “Duty Roster.”

The rest of the squadron had some alterations, though, to fit Rogue One. It was obvious that X-wing pilots who’d survived Scarif would fly at Yavin 4 too, so Ralo Surrel, Harb Binli and Zal Dinnes were in, and off-screen Legends pilots Rue, Bren Quersey and Wenton Chan got sidelined. But that fit perfectly with the theme of the story. It’s no accident that Rue, Quersey and Chan are the three pilots with Col as he watches the battle.

Col doesn’t get his spot on the mission, and so remains in the pilots’ ready room, alone in his misery. (Once again: he thinks it’s all about him.) Giving into his rage, he trashes the place -- only to realize Wedge has left his helmet behind. Wedge enters and tries to avoid a confrontation, but when Col tries to bait him he quietly but firmly puts Col in his place, showing the maturity and sense of camaraderie that Col lacks and the leadership he’ll display as a squadron leader in the future.

It’s a moment of realization for Col. Which is why he cleans up the mess he’s made and heads for the war room to stand with his fellow pilots. That’s his turn -- and it’s because of Wedge.

Col finds his place in the war room and the Battle of Yavin unfolds as we know it. Except we learn something new that’s really important: Wedge is flying an X-wing with suspect hydraulic lines that were patched up after Scarif. It’s risky, but his choice was to fly and take the risk or stay behind, and he chose to fly.

As a fellow pilot, Col understands the risk Wedge is taking. As the battle unfolds, he thinks about how each of the squadron’s pilots has a shot at becoming the rebel hero he’s dreamed of being. That’s a bit of the old Col, but he doesn’t stop there. He cheers for them (a marked change), and also understands that some of them have no chance at glory -- they’re flying to buy the others more time, and know they’ll have to sacrifice their lives to do so.

And he understands that once Wedge’s hydraulic lines are severed, he’s as big a danger to Luke and Biggs as he is to the TIEs chasing them. So Col doesn’t blame Wedge when he peels off -- in fact, in a sign of his newfound maturity, he urges Kelemah to tell Wedge to do so.

We then learn something else: Wedge charged his auxiliaries and tried to go back to help, which would have been a death sentence. It’s a bit of continuity added to a scene that doesn’t really work in the movie (where the heck is Wedge going?), but Col’s reaction is the key. He understands he would have done the same thing Wedge did, that it would have been a mistake, and begs Wedge not to throw away his life for nothing but pride.

The pilots return, but while everyone runs to congratulate Luke, Col hurries to find Wedge, who’s wrestling with the guilt he feels at having left the fight. It’s Col who absolves him, pointing out that Wedge took out six TIEs, ran the trench at full throttle, kept a malfunctioning fighter intact and then tried to go back. Because Wedge Antilles is that awesome, and because Col Takbright -- Fake Wedge -- has finally figured out that they’re both part of something larger, and that a single pilot’s identity (or mistaken identity) is far less important than what they can do together.

So that’s a wrap. Some other interesting bits for the trivia-minded:

Wedge’s malfunction has been described in various ways in various sources. I took bits and pieces of multiple explanations.

Luke’s simulator run is from the old Brian Daley radio dramas.

I didn’t know the canon status of Blue and Green squadrons, and didn’t want to open a canoncial can of worms. So Red Leader doesn’t know what’s happening with them either. Which makes sense -- he’s got enough on his plate. Since I couldn’t have the reader think Col could just join another squadron, I added the note about his having to go to the back of the line in such a situation.

Colonel Cor is mentioned in the Rogue One visual guide.

Kay-One-Zero is the Alliance evacuation code. Note that you don’t need to know that to understand the reference -- Quersey gives an explanation that reads right on the page but also helps those who don’t know every bit of Star Wars canon. Context is critical for making lore support a story instead of distracting the reader.

When Porkins dies, Rue quietly says “So long, Piggy, you will be avenged.” This is a thought balloon for Biggs in the original Marvel adaptation of A New Hope.

I accounted for the fates of Red Seven, Eight, Nine and Eleven, whose deaths aren’t seen on-screen.

#storytelling #star wars #From a Certain Point Of View #wedge antilles

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