#after seeing all the hype i took the leap and watched this and Damn

[almond-gallery]

smoking gun

[yoonia]

About Time // Part 20

➬ Character | Jungkook x reader / Jimin x reader (feat. BTS)

↳ Type/Genre/words | Angst, Fluff, Alternate Universe (Time Travel!au/Time Leap!au, Soulmate!au), Eventual Smut / 18,5k words

↳ Prompts | “What if you find your soulmate… at the wrong time?” - Lauren Kate, Passion

↳ Summary | Be careful for what you wish for, because you may never know how to deal with them once it comes true. What would you do when your wish for a second chance actually came true? But was it really a fulfilled wish? Too many questions lie when it actually happened. Were they real memories? Or perhaps a part of a past life? Was it only a dream all along? Will everything be different this time?

↳ Ratings | Mature/+18 and up

↳ Warnings | mentions of alcoholism, mentions of cancer, (probably) inaccurate medical and law terms

↳ Author’s Note | This chapter took me forever to finish, but I’m glad that it’s finally out. I want to thank my girls, @randombtsprincessa and @softyoongiionly​ who have been hyping me out and yelling at me each time I came close to giving up and when I stop writing, and as always my second set of eyes, @theodea​. I hope you’ll enjoy this one as we slowly unravel the story between our characters. Please make sure not to miss the second note at the end of the chapter. Thank you!

↳ ⤎ Previous Chapter | Series Index: About Time | Next Chapter ⇢

Song Companion | Shah - Can't Leave You | Oleg Byonic - Wait For You

—First life. St. Vincent’s Hospital, year 2027—

Subtle movements happening around me were the ones that had woken me up.

Whoever it was that had been moving around while I was still asleep, they had tried to do things stealthily, moving about carefully enough not to disturb my sleep.

But when a person had been stuck in one place for so long the way I did, their senses would easily become familiar to their surroundings the same way mine had. I didn’t need much to recognise the sounds that had been constantly happening around me, allowing me to identify the foreign ones when they appeared. I would be able to feel every movement, be it from any unanimated object or simply random movements that took place, and I could sense the changes in the air around me as it happened. So it was easy for me to catch their presence even before I had my eyes opened when they kept on moving, the low thud of their footsteps and the things they were moving around followed each move they made.

And then there were also the scents. It was his cologne that allowed me to recognise him without me seeing him. And it was a good thing too, because it allowed my heartbeat to settle down from its frantic pace and prevent me from waking up in fear, startled to find a random stranger invading my space.

I finally opened my eyes slowly. He was nothing but a blurry blob of a person moving around my room when I looked at him through my bleary eyes. The way he was still pacing back and forth around the bedside drawers told me that he had yet to realise that I was awake. So I continued watching him, blinking my eyes until the sight of him gradually grew clearer and I was finally able to see just what he was doing in my hospital room.

Of course, cleaning up my mess would be the first thing he would do the moment he got here, I wondered with a smile.

This man could never settle with a messy space. He could not even settle in patience without finding something to do, no matter how often he would complain or whine whenever he felt like he had been doing too many things at once.

I barely moved when Yoongi reached out to grab a bouquet of fresh flowers that had been left on top of the small table near the doorway. It looked new, and I had no recollection of seeing it before I fell asleep after my treatment this morning, so it must have arrived just a while ago. I saw Yoongi opening the card that came with it and tutted to himself, muttering low as he shook his head.

The moment I realised what he was saying, I could no longer stay silent. “Bastard? Did the sender really sign the card with that name?”

My voice seemed to startle Yoongi that he nearly jumped. He turned with his hand on his chest, looking almost ghastly grey that quickly faded when he chuckled. “Fucking hell, you scared me,” he said, tossing the flowers away. Though they only landed back not so gracefully on the table instead of into the trashcan placed on the floor right beside it, where he was probably aiming to throw them in before I caught him.

“Sorry,” I said, pushing myself up from the bed the best I could to sit upright while he handed me a glass of water and helped me drink. As I drank, my chest felt hollow. I had been in this place for too long that this simple gesture had become some sort of a routine. And that he had become so familiar with everything that he knew easily just what I needed. It made me feel relieved to have him with me, but I felt the guilt gnawing inside me just the same.

I hated feeling miserable and weak. And I hated it more to see the pitying look he gave me as he read me so easily. “Have you been here long?” I asked him before he ever had a chance to bring it up. Because there was no way he didn't notice it when he had grown used to my moods already. Thankfully, Yoongi had chosen not to say a thing about my condition and only shrugged.

“Not really,” he looked around, rubbing the back of his head as he followed my eyes to see the things he had been tidying up before I woke. “I wasn’t sure if it was alright to wake you up, so I tried to find some things to do while I waited. Sorry if I woke you up.”

I waved him off. “No, you didn’t. It’s just time for me to wake up. It’s almost lunchtime,” I told him, not that I was excited for lunch in any way. Not when I was not completely capable of eating properly. The blisters on my lips and inside my mouth had been increasing rapidly that I couldn’t taste anything without feeling pain. It had been coming and going, sometimes getting better after getting some vitamins or once I began drinking all those herb drinks Kara had been making for me. But whenever they came back, they always left me feeling miserable. And terribly hungry.

And hunger made me feel even more miserable.

If Yoongi had noticed the discomfort look I was making just by thinking about the food, he showed none of it. But he did scrunch his nose and gave a distasteful scoff. “You’re actually excited for the hospital food? Man, you’ve been here for too long.”

I scoffed. “Nope, I’m just excited for their pudding,” I said, without bothering to elaborate the fact that it would probably be the only thing I could manage to eat.

“Damn,” he said, shaking his head almost too dramatically. “I was hoping that I could steal your pudding while you eat.”

I knew that he was only trying to make me feel better, but that was enough to have me laughing. But only for a short while, because any kind of tension happening on my torso gave me pain. As I winced, my eyes fell on the flowers he left behind. It was not hard to recognise them. Jungkook had known me for a long time to remember just what kind of flowers I loved most, and he had gotten me the same kinds ever since we had been together.

Fresh white roses, mixed with a handful of blooming white baby’s breath—just like the ones I had in the flower bouquet that I carried on our wedding day—and with a simple white ribbon wrapped around the footstalks. He had known me well enough to know that I only enjoyed simple things, and it hurt to know that he still remembered everything to the T.

I didn’t really need to ask, but I could not help it. “Those flowers—Jungkook sent them, didn’t he?”

Yoongi clenched his jaw and nodded. “I heard that he’s making amends.”

I rolled my eyes. “No, he just promised to stay around. Be a friend,” I told him, to which he gave me a sceptical look through his eyes. “He wants to be involved but not so much to disturb my life or to get in the way of my recovery process.”

Yoongi started shaking his head. I knew that I didn’t have to explain things on Jungkook’s behalf or to defend him right in front of my friend. But what Yoongi did not know was that Jungkook was not the only one making amends. If he was willing to try and make peace with everything that had been going on, then I should do just the same. It was the only way I could do to let the pain of his betrayal go away and to be able to look at my future without any resentment of the past.

It may have been far too late for me to realise it, and I hated the fact that I needed Jimin there to open my eyes, but the only reason why I have yet to be able to move forward entirely had been due to my anger. Letting my resentment grow freely inside my chest would only blind me from the beautiful things waiting for me in the future.

That is, if there was still any hope for me out there.

“I was almost sure you’re going to forgive that son of a bitch again,” Yoongi finally said with a sigh.

“Oh, I have forgiven him.”

Yoongi sat back with a jolt. “What?”

Chuckling, I waved him off. “No, I meant to say that I have forgiven him, just so we could move on. It has been too exhausting to keep being angry. If he really meant it when he said he wanted us to be friends, that he wanted to support me, then I should stop being so hostile with him. It’s actually pretty relieving to not be angry with him all the time,” I explained, and Yoongi slowly relaxed, while I had to clench my teeth together at the memory of all those passing moments we have had where we were too busy battling each other instead of moving forward. “Not to mention, the last altercation he caused had hurt Jimin. I don’t think I would have any more to give if I’m going to continue fighting him.”

Yoongi sat in his chair with his arms crossed over his chest. Sighing, he nodded his head after a while. “I still regretted not being here at the time to punch his face. Not to defend your boyfriend, but for stressing you out.”

I gave him a wry smile. Our relationship had always been a bit more cordial before this point, when we were just two people running a freelance business together. Back in college, he was nothing more but a stranger since we both ran with different crowds. He was more a part of Jungkook’s circle than he was in mine. But to have him on my side this time around, to have him as a part of my support system both as a friend and a second brother to me was gratifying.

“You haven’t been around much. I was starting to miss you,” I told him, making him chuckle. It was not a lie, I did miss him. His absence had never felt so strong before, but even with the overwhelming change happening in my life lately, I have missed his presence around me.

“And you really want me to believe that you actually have been thinking of me?” he jokingly asked me. “I thought you already have someone to keep you company. And I know that he’s been keeping you busy.” He said this while waggling his eyebrows, and I felt my face flushing with heat. He may not have fully supported my new relationship with Jimin at first, stating that I was risking my heart by being close to someone who was fighting the same battle as I was, but he seemed pretty okay with it now.

“What have you been up to?” I asked him. “Come on, tell me anything. I’m bored, and anxious.” Because the days were moving closer to the day for my surgery, was what I couldn’t tell him. Thinking about it only made me tremble in fear, so I tried to avoid bringing it up unless it was necessary. “Tell me that the world outside still exists.”

He gave a bitter chuckle. “Oh, the world outside still exists, all right,” he said, before he began updating me about everything that had been going on lately. Not everything in the world that I could keep up on my own through the news or the things I saw on the television, however, but the things around us that I had left behind. He updated on things regarding work, since I had left behind a bunch of unfinished projects on his hands when I got sick. I had tried my best to help him while I still could, until I had no more energy and he stopped bringing files on our projects to the hospital so he could stop me from trying to force myself to stay active.

Then he suddenly fell silent, just when I was asking him about what had been going on in his life. He looked a bit embarrassed for a moment, looking everywhere but my eyes until he finally took a deep breath and spoke.

“I’m seeing someone,” Yoongi finally admitted. “It’s new and nothing really serious yet, so Hoseok told me to take my time for myself with—you know.”

“No, I totally understand. I don’t ever want to be in the way for you or Hoseok on whatever is happening with your lives,” I told him, before realising something else. “Did you think I would say something about it? Is that why you never said anything to me at first? You know I wouldn’t, right? You’ve done so much for me. I already told you and my brother that I don’t want to have you both putting lives on hold for me. I know Hoseok is starting to.”

And I meant it. I have noticed it for a while but my brother had never wanted to talk about it. Hoseok was starting to look like he was stepping back from living his life, as he struggled to be there for me the entire time I was battling my illness, all while he was doing all he could to help me get out of my broken marriage completely unscathed.

Yoongi’s smile looked a bit sad when he looked at me. “I know you wouldn’t say anything bad. You’ve always been so great when it comes to dealing with my relationships. I think you’ve handled things better than I had,” he said with a chuckle. “As for Hoseok—He’s trying to make up for lost time. You know, for all those years he had made the mistake of cutting you off.”

Shaking my head, I refused to acknowledge it. “It wasn’t completely his fault,” I said, surprising even myself for knowing how I meant it. Through all those years we have lost contact, I did blame Hoseok for pushing me away and refusing to hear what I had to say. He was the one who had shunned me when I needed him the most, but that anger was gone now. Just like how I had forgiven my ex-husband, just how I had forgiven Kara and my father, and how I was just starting to forgive myself for all the horrible things which had happened between us in the past, I had forgiven my brother.

“Yet he still blames himself,” Yoongi said to me patiently, defending my brother. “He still thinks that he deserves to be punished for his ignorance in the past, for not being there for you until it was too late. He kept telling me how hard it has been for him to forget that fact how he had turned his back on you. That you had trusted him and he had only let you down. I think he instantly regretted it when it happened but he didn’t know just how to reach out to you again.”

“Until he met you.” I gave him a wry smile, while deep inside, I was grateful for the fact that my brother had somehow met Yoongi by chance and reached out to him so he could become the bridge between the two of us. Yoongi had no obligations to do any of that, but he did. And he had made it possible for the two of us to reconcile, even if it had come a bit too late.

An orderly interrupted our talk by entering the room with my lunch. Yoongi stood up to retrieve the tray and took his time to set up my meal for me. After a while, I couldn’t help it, I just had to ask, “Why do you take such good care of me? I mean, I’m happy that you are here and to have you as a friend and a second brother. But you’ve done a lot more. Not just for me, but for Hoseok too.”

Yoongi avoided my eyes when he returned to his seat. “Because I really care about you, ______. And you also did a lot for me when I needed help and people were turning their backs on me,” he finally said. His eyes were dark, and his pain was visible when he looked up at me. “Back then, you knew my secrets and still didn’t run away,” he said, while my memory brought me back to the past, when I had met him again after a quite some time, after he had become distant to most of the people we knew back in college. None of the people around us truly knew then that his friends had left him when things were hard for him, and I had chosen to become his friend at the time because I knew what it was like to lose everyone because of all the choices we made.

“I would never turn my back on you,” I told him, while he only gave me a bitter chuckle.

“Well, most people did. They always said it didn’t matter, but then they couldn’t look at me the same way again.”

I bit my lip when I remembered those days. Those final days before I finally left college, when people were whispering things on campus. Bad rumours had always been easy to travel quickly, especially when it came to a person like Yoongi. “Did people ever find out? I thought nobody ever clarified the rumours that had been going around at campus.”

He scoffed. “No, but it happened around the same time I began cutting back from classes and partying, so I guess people took it as a confirmation to them being true. And I had no point or a reason to deny it. Especially since when the truth finally came out, it didn’t really help much to make a difference in the situation.”

I reached out to him and grabbed his hand. “It doesn’t really matter anymore, does it? It’s in the past and you have grown far from that. And you’ll have my back as long as you have me.”

Chuckling softly, Yoongi gave me a relieved smile as he gripped my hand tighter. “Good. Cause you’ll have mine as long as I can help it.”

My heart felt full and warm with the promise that we shared, but at the same time, I also felt the weight of guilt brewing inside my chest as I said those words to him. I was grateful and glad for our friendship and knowing that we would be there for each other no matter what cause, and I had meant every word I said. But I couldn’t help but wished that I had been able to do the same and keep my promise to someone else.

I still wished that I had been able to do the same to another person who I should have never turned my back on in the past.

—Present life. Year 2018—

Winter break had barely ended when I returned to campus at the beginning of the new year.

The cold breeze still felt so strong even though spring was right in the corner that I had to tighten my coat while I paced down the slippery sidewalk towards the rendezvous spot. Taehyung had to repeatedly look over his shoulder to make sure that I was still following him close behind and that I hadn’t slipped away without him noticing. It was partly my fault that he got worried. Simply because I kept refusing his help each time he tried to hold my hand as we walked down the icy sidewalk on our not so sufficient boots. But I also knew that he could barely hold his own, which had been the reason why I didn’t want to become a burden.

Not when I was supposed to be here to give him the support he needed.

I looked up to notice that we were getting close to the east side plaza, where the largest park in the campus’ vicinity was located and also where people were gathering for the event. Loud voices and excited chatters were heard just when we were coming up around the corner, while Taehyung’s gaze looked both amused and nervous when he looked over to me for the last time.

He waited for me right before we went there. This time, I reached out for his hand and held on tightly. “You okay?”

“Fine, just nerves,” he said, shrugging, acting like it was no big deal. But I knew him, both in this lifetime and in the previous one, enough to know that he was blanketing his emotions and thoughts from me. And yet, I only chose not to push him too much about it and tried to have him think of other things instead.

“Okay, now remind me again why we came all the way here? Classes won’t start until the end of the month,” I asked him, just when a series of laughter was heard from the plaza. “And why the hell did they choose to meet up out here anyway? It’s fucking cold.”

Taehyung chuckled as he watched me wrapped my arms around myself and tugged me to come and walk with him, huddling close to keep our bodies warm. “These people are volunteers who are interested to join the spring project. I heard that they wanted to gather as many volunteers as they could get before everyone gets swamped with classes and assignments,” he began talking as he guided the two of us to join the crowd.

As we came up to the plaza, the place had already been filled with students, all wrapped up in thick winter coats and sweaters, all rubbing their hands together to keep themselves warm. But everyone shared the same wide eyes and bright, excited faces as they waited for the event to start. Everyone was standing together, facing the stage at the center. I kept on watching the people around us as Taehyung led us to the middle ground, all while sharing everything there was to know about the event.

This project was held by the local social acts group formed by students from the Social Studies and Medical Faculty, with some of Taehyung’s seniors whom he had grown close to leading the group. They always held their annual community service to help children or elders in need, and Taehyung had been involved in them a few times through the past year that he had probably grown accustomed to all of this.

Most of the work that he had done had mostly involved children, since that had been his main interest for his studies. But early winter, he had joined the service to provide coals and firewoods for elders and poor families who lived in isolated areas. For the past year, Taehyung had enjoyed doing this service and charity work because it had made him happy, it had given him a purpose and new goals to achieve, while opening a way for his future career.

In a different lifetime, being involved with this cause had only served as a form of escape.

And it was what had brought him far, far away from me until the day the bridge between us finally burned for good. All driven from the hurt that I had caused him.

“What’s the goal for the spring project, then?” I asked him just when he found us an empty spot with the perfect view towards the stage. The cold didn’t feel as harsh now as we stood between these people, but Taehyung still wrapped his arm around my shoulders and held me close to keep me warm.

“That’s what we’re all here for. The group always chooses their project from the ideas that they collect from their members or other volunteers, then chooses a captain to lead according to what kind of social service or charity they are doing. They haven’t decided what they were going to be working on this spring. Looking from all of these people gathering here, I’m guessing it’s going to be a big one. They’ve never had this many people being interested to join.”

“Maybe this is for the project that you wanted to sign up so badly before? The one they said they were going to send volunteers to the southern hemisphere?” I asked him, reminded of his wish to join the volunteer work that may give him a chance to travel to places while continuing his study.

Taehyung shook his head. “I don’t know. It could be. They haven’t really announced anything for that one either.”

I was about to say something, asking him more about this group and the organisation behind its cause, when a few people stepped up to the stage. One of the female leaders took the microphone and began to greet everyone who was present, applauding people who had come even in the cold. But I barely paid any attention to a word she said when I followed Taehyung’s gaze and saw him standing there with the other members of the volunteer group.

“There he is. Namjoon is always there with them. He’s been made captain on the last few projects that we’ve worked on,” he said, sounding almost distractedly as he watched Namjoon conversing with his friends on stage. I had to admit, the man really was attractive. His whole presence oozed confidence and his demeanour showed me that he was a smart man. Smart enough to be extremely persuasive. A dimple showed on his face when he smiled, and his laughter echoed through the stage, almost rivalling the MC’s voice as she continued to speak.

“Has he approached you yet?” I asked.

Taehyung shrugged. “He’s been a bit friendly, but that’s about it.”

“Is that why I’m here? To make sure that you would have someone to remind you to consider things before signing up?” I turn to look at him, waggling my brow to tease him a little.

This time, Taehyung turned to me and snickered. “Well, you know what they said. The only way for someone to avoid getting swayed by a handsome looking guy who happens to be an extremely persuasive man is to have your childhood crush standing right with you.”

“Whatever you say,” I said, chuckling as he tightened his arm around my shoulders and pulled me close. Neither of us said a thing as we listened to the MC spoke, before she finally handed the microphone to Namjoon, who became the one to talk about the project and let the volunteers learn more about the system, the plans, and how to sign up.

We shared nothing more but a bittersweet feeling while we were entranced as we listened to Namjoon speak, holding each other the way we never could in another life we shared.

We didn’t only come here to admire this man or to only see what today was all about, but to simply find answers. To slowly connect the dots and put the puzzle pieces together to fill the blanks, just so we could lay down every part of that other lifetime for us to understand where did everything went wrong.

There had been parts of the past, faces and names of the people that had become a part of my previous life that I could not recall or draw from my jumbled memory so easily. I may have seen or felt their presence in those memories, but some of them had appeared in my dreams merely as blurry shadows, faceless figures, people whose voice only came to me as if they had been submerged underwater.

Kim Namjoon was one of the missing pieces of the puzzle that had caused a rift in my friendship with Taehyung in another lifetime. In my memory, he was nothing but a nameless shadow, one that I feared and hated almost as much as the painful parts I shared with Jungkook from the past life. It took Taehyung finding him to help me remember everything—who he was, what he had done, and everything that happened then—all the broken memories had been unravelled the day Taehyung had first introduced me to this man sometime last semester.

And the reminder of who he was had come in the right time, because he had already become a part of Taehyung’s life through these activities he had been involved in. Because just like how it happened in the past life, Kim Namjoon was the one who had convinced Taehyung to join their movement.

The only difference now was that Taehyung had me by his side. That Taehyung had not been wounded when they first met.

In the past life, Kim Namjoon had come into Taehyung’s life when Taehyung needed someone to look up to, when Taehyung needed a friend and guidance while I kept on pushing him away, leaving him in the blind and completely alone. In that part of our lives, the man had come in at the right time, right when my best friend was completely vulnerable. And he had eased his way in so easily, filling the void in Taehyung’s life, saying all the right words and showing all the right things to have Taehyung follow him wherever he would go. What had started as a good cause to give Taehyung a purpose in life, it had ended leading him to get involved with the bad crowd, to join the bad business that Namjoon was secretly building behind his gentle smile and manipulative ways of making people around him feel special.

Taehyung had loved him with his wounded heart, and he had given the man everything. Only to have Namjoon suck his heart and soul dry, before tossing him away once he was done with him.

And I was not there to catch him when he fell.

“So what do you think? Are you going to join this one?”

The gathering event had ended two hours ago, and now we were heading towards the coffee shop where I had been working part-time for the past few months. Taehyung had insisted to walk me there despite his dorm being located in the opposite direction, saying that he was worried that I would slip if I had gone alone. After all the trouble we had by walking through the icy road and the slippery sidewalks this morning, I had no reason to argue. And I also knew that he only wanted to spend some more time with me before he had to leave for his part-time job, so I just let him be.

Ever since we watched Namjoon’s speech, Taehyung had been left in a daze. He had always reacted this way whenever he saw Namjoon. I was never quite sure whether it was due to my warnings regarding the man or if he had truly developed some sort of a crush or perhaps grown the same hero worship that he had for the man the same way he did in the different lifetime.

“I’m not sure yet,” he finally said. “Even if the cause is going to be just around the city, I don’t think I can make it if they’re starting around the same time my classes are starting over.”

His reasoning had made complete sense. But deep down, I also knew that he was lying. He was conflicted. I could feel it. And he was trying so much to hold back from whatever it was that had been bothering him.

Once Namjoon was done with his speech and the event presentation on stage, he had come down to approach Taehyung while the other students had started lining up to join the cause. He had pulled us both to the side, persuading us personally.

“It wouldn’t be as tiring as the one we did last time. We’re only visiting some of the schools at the neighbouring towns. We’re going to give classes, lend some care for the kids, do some health check-up, while the group from the Engineering Faculty will be there to help with technicalities, like building new facilities or fix old structures that didn’t survive the winter,” Namjoon had told the both of us, pretty much summarising his own presentation on stage to make sure that he would point out all the compelling factors to appeal Taehyung. “You’ve always enjoyed working on any causes that involve children, so I’m sure this would be perfect for you. Not to mention, we’ll be getting extra credits for each movement we make this semester with the faculty supporting us through funds and getting us sponsors.”

I could tell that he was getting through to Taehyung when I saw my best friend watching him with wide eyes. But I had been focusing more on Namjoon, letting my own curiosity and wonder get to me. And for someone who appeared so open, so enticing, and one whose main job was to approach people, Kim Namjoon was hard to read.

My memories of him had been nothing but scraps. It had seemed that in my other life, I had no opportunity to know him in person as he was merely a part of Taehyung’s world once our friendship fell apart and we became worlds apart. This time, I had more opportunities to know this man in person. Still, the only things I had come to know about him had only come from Taehyung.

The only thing I knew about him was that he was a year senior from us, focusing on Medical Studies to become a neurosurgeon. He was a brilliant student, had always come with the highest grade in his year, and he had been active in great causes to help people.

None of that information had ever told us the reason why everything fell apart for Taehyung when they began doing all of their causes together. We only knew that in the past life, Taehyung had gone away with him to a place far away, never to return until everything had been much too late. We just never knew when and how, and I knew that this was the reason why Taehyung had been so afraid to take the risk.

“Remember what you said to me back then, before I met Jimin? Back when I was too scared to even go out and have fun?” I asked him as we continued to walk in silence. The coffee shop had appeared on sight, so I knew that this would be the only chance I could ever be able to say this.

“No, I don’t. What did I say?”

I turned to him. “You told me to be cautious, but not too cautious that I don’t get to live and enjoy the present,” I said. “I know you’re worried about the risk of getting close to him without knowing what exactly happened to you in the past after you got together with him, but I know that you enjoy doing these things. So just go for it. If you do it, I’ll be there to join you so you won’t have to be there alone.”

Taehyung smiled at me as he listened to my promises. I could tell that he was relieved to hear it. “You would?”

“Didn’t I promise that I would never let anything come between us? Not this time,” I told him, reminding him all the promises that I had made back then when we found out that one of the many reasons why our lives had fallen apart was because neither of us was there for the other.

I had made a promise that I would never let that happen again. That I would never let him stray away from my life. No matter what. In a different life, I may have left him to fend for himself. This life had to be different. This time, we had each other.

“Right, okay,” he said, nodding to himself while sighing deeply. The frown that he had carried with him ever since we left the campus’ plaza disappeared when he looked at me. In its place came a smile, and a pair of eyes so bright it made me believe that he would be able to conquer everything if he wanted to.

“Thanks for coming with me this morning,” he said, giving me a side hug as we continued our walk.

“You know I don’t mind it. We haven’t been spending too much time together lately,” I told him as I leaned to him.

For the past few months, both of us had been busy focusing on our own lives. While my relationship with Jimin was blossoming, Taehyung was busy tackling different challenges in his life. We haven’t been spending a lot of time with each other the way we used to aside from the time we spent when we went back to our hometown together during the holidays, yet another reason why I had wanted to do this with him.

Despite our busy lives, things had been completely different still.

At least this time, he was still there, and he had yet to disappear from my life. Even if we couldn’t see each other, all we needed to do was to pick up the phone and we would be there for each other even through the distance.

“We’re still on for tonight, right?” he asked me just as we arrived at the coffee shop.

“Absolutely. Are you picking me up here once my shift ends?”

“Yeah. I might stop by at the library to drop some books, but I’ll come to get you right after,” he said, before giving me a hug as he said goodbye.

“Alright then. See you later.”

I stood in front of the coffee shop for a while longer, watching him walk away until he disappeared right around the corner on his way to the daycare center he had been working at. The coffee shop wasn’t too crowded when I walked in, with the majority of the students had yet to return on campus after the long winter break.

But that soon changed the moment my shift began, right when the rush of the lunch hour started. Students and workers from the nearby offices came in, forming a long line only minutes after I had taken over the cashier. The rush lasted for a little over an hour, much shorter than the regular hustle that would no doubt begin the moment the next term started at the end of the month.

Even if I had been out and active since early morning, I served the patrons with a smile on my face. Before I knew it, the line of customer started to dwindle. By the time I served the last patron, my back was sore and my legs were tight, but something was telling me that I wasn’t supposed to take a break yet. So I stayed behind the counter while my co-worker for the day—the only one there since many of the other staff had yet to return from their holiday—turned to ask if he could take a quick break while there was no customer coming in.

“I’m going to take a quick smoke break, is that okay? We can switch once I’m back,” he said, already in the middle of untying his apron to avoid getting some smoke on it.

“Sure, no problem. I got it handled.”

I turned back to check on my phone once he was gone, taking my time to reply to some messages that I got from Jimin who was asking about my day and my plans for the night. I had just pressed the send button when the bell at the front door chimed behind me, but it took me a few seconds too long to put my phone away before a deep voice called out.

“Excuse me. Can I make an order?”

I turned around to greet the new customer. But the moment I saw him, my body went frozen stiff and my head began to spin.

I had never met this person before. And yet, I remembered him.

Each time I tried to reclaim my memories, there was a void where someone was supposed to be a part of. There was a presence that was constant in almost every part of my painful memories. Yet aside from everyone that I had remembered so far, this person had always been nothing but a shadow, a faceless entity that was there, but never completely solid.

But the moment I saw him standing there, right on the other side of the counter, waiting for me to take his orders, his face brought all the missing pieces together. All the blurry images I had been seeing in my dreams came to me in flashing moments, so quick, so random, but far more clearly than how they all had been. His face filled all of those empty voids. His face, his eyes, his small smile, they replaced the faceless man who had been there by my side through all of the hurt, through all of my journeys.

In those dreams, in those flashing memories that I had been getting, I could never see the face of the man who was holding my hand while I was fighting for my life. And at that moment, as I was looking straight into this customer’s eyes, his face was all I see being there by my side.

He was there.

He was always there.

“Um—hello?”

The man waved his hand right in front of my face with an amused look, snapping me right out of my stupor.

“Oh, uh—yes, hi. Sorry, what can I get you?” I questioned him, unable to hold back the nervous chuckle that came bubbling out. Thankfully, he only smiled.

“I’ll have a cup of espresso and a bagel,” he said, only after taking a moment perusing through the menu placed above the counter.

My fingers were shaking when I was placing his orders into the cashier machine, so I kept my eyes down to make sure I wasn’t making a mistake. “Right. To go?”

He hummed softly and looked around. “Um—no, I think I’ll take them here.”

“Okay,” I said, taking a moment to finish up his orders. “Thank you. You can take a seat or wait on the counter. We’ll call your name once your order is ready.”

“Yeah, okay. My name is—”

“Yoongi,” I blurted out before he could even finish. For some reason, just like how his face filled all the missing puzzle, his name just came into my head as if I had known him my whole life.

When I saw his eyebrows came up to his forehead, I knew then that he was just as surprised as I was. “What? Have we met?”

“Um, well—” I began to stutter while my brain seemed to just stop working indefinitely. So I only said the first thing I could think of as an excuse, “You’re pretty well known. I mean, my friends know you. I just suddenly remember your name.”

Well, at least that was not a complete lie. I was pretty sure that perhaps some of my friends would know him, and I did just remember his name.

He looked at me with a frown, not looking entirely convinced, but he said nothing of it when he handed me his cash to pay for his orders. “Right, well. That’s me. I’m Yoongi.”

“Of course,” I said, avoiding his gaze as I put his money in. “I’ll call you when your coffee is ready.”

His eyes lingered on me for a few seconds, filled with curiosity and probably a bunch of other questions, but he only nodded. “Thanks,” he said to me as he walked to the other side of the counter, leaving me feeling lightheaded.

Everything seemed to be colliding together right at the same time. The final missing pieces of the puzzle were coming to place one at a time. As if the whole universe was trying to shove everything to my face, though I really had no idea just what it was trying to tell me.

—Present life. Hot and Spicy Grill. Year 2018—

As promised, Taehyung had picked me up at work right the moment my shift was up.

There was nothing much to say between us as we drove away in his small city car from the coffee shop, since I was still trying to process the shock of having the unexpected meeting during work earlier while Taehyung seemed like he was having his own turmoil to deal with. He was silent during the drive, looking distracted but thankfully not enough to derail him from driving the car properly. But his silence had made it hard for me to question it when he suddenly started leading the car away from the campus grounds and he kept going further until the car entered the freeway.

It took a few turns before the sight around me changed, the suburbs getting further away behind us, when I finally grew wary and curious that I simply had to speak up. “Are you sure we’re still going to dinner? You’re not planning on kidnapping me, are you?”

Taehyung’s eyes grew wide before he chuckled. “Sorry, it’s a surprise,” he said. “Don’t worry, I won’t go crazy and take you to any place with no civilisation like what Jimin did.”

Smiling, I looked away from him when my face began to flush. I had told him once about the surprise trip that Jimin had taken me to—which I had to spill because I had completely forgotten to call him back that night after we had just parted way minutes before Jimin came to pick me up. I had told him about how Jimin planned out an outdoor picnic with a thousand stars above us and the view of the valley everywhere I looked, though I had to skip telling him about the ‘dessert’ Jimin gave me under the same stars which had sent me flying to heavenly bliss.

Judging from the sly smirk he was making now, I supposed he had made his own guess to what had happened on the date once the food was left forgotten.

As I looked out the window, I finally realised that he was right. He was not taking me towards the same area that Jimin had taken me to. On the outer lane of the freeway, I saw buildings and dense trees instead of hills and valleys. And to my relief, what I was seeing was the kind of trees I would normally see packed up in the city. The lanes were getting more and more packed with cars as we went further, so I wasn’t quite surprised to see him turning to the exit heading downtown.

“Sorry for the long trip,” he said. “I just found out about this place a while ago and wanted to check it out. I figured if I want to take anyone here to try it then it should be you since we haven’t done this for a while.”

“Aww—that’s so nice that you’re thinking of me. You are truly the best friend every girl needs. The man after my own heart. Or, in this case, stomach,” I teased him, earning his laugh.

It didn’t take much longer than fifteen minutes after we were out of the freeway before he pulled into a small spaced parking lot, and my gaze fell on the small restaurant that seemed like it had only opened pretty recently. “Is it a barbecue and grill place? Awesome!”

“Figured you’ll love it,” he said, turning the car engine off. “Let’s go before the place gets packed with the dinner crowd.”

It didn’t take us long to be seated. But Taehyung was right. Not too long after we made our orders, more and more people started coming in and the place was full within minutes.

“I hope this place is good. People keep talking about this place so I bet these people came from everywhere around the city. I don’t even doubt that we would see some familiar faces from campus,” Taehyung told me after taking a quick look around.

“I’m really hungry I can eat anything at this point,” I said, smiling at him. It really didn’t matter where we were or if the trip here had been worth it. It was spending the time with my best friend during all of the things that had been going on in our lives which I had been most excited about.

The tables around us had started grilling and Taehyung seemed giddy in his seat, looking excited as he looked at the meal with a deep longing in his eyes and he licked his lips at the roasted beef cooking beside us. This was something that I had missed, enjoying our time together and to see him loosening up. Each time we were together, I would look at him and wonder how we ever came apart.

How much different was it back then between us compared to us now? Would we still have this if I had never learned all the mistakes we made in the past life?

Taehyung was picking on the welcome snacks when I felt my phone vibrating in my bag. Remembering that I had promised Jimin to text him the moment Taehyung had succeeded in picking me up at work while he couldn’t, I pulled out the phone and smiled when I noticed that he had messaged me first.

From Jimin: Hey, babe. Are you out with Taehyung?

From Jimin: I’m taking a break atm and I thought about you. Hope he didn’t decide to steal you away from me :(

A smile came to my face as I was reading through his messages. I could picture him sitting down in the middle of his dance practice, all sweaty and breathless while he was typing these words. My heart jumped and it made me realise how much I missed him, even if we had only been apart for a day thanks to our schedules.

To Jimin: I’m safe. He’s not kidnapping me or whatever, but you did give him an idea of taking me far away from campus

From Jimin: Sorry, my bad :p

To Jimin: How’s practice?

From Jimin: These guys are relentless. I’ll probably wake up all sore and bruised tomorrow

To Jimin: But you love it

From Jimin: I do :)

To Jimin: What time will you be done?

From Jimin: We’re doing one more round of practice then I’ll be on my way home

Home. The way he had said it made my heart stir. Ever since we became official, Jimin had repeatedly asked me to move in with him. But I have yet to give an answer, thinking that perhaps things had been going on too fast. If there was anything that I learned from putting all the pieces from my other life together was that moving too fast could lead to a disaster.

Would I dare risk it and say yes? I knew that it was something that my previous self—the other ’me’—had wished for. I saw her dreams as some broken fragments of memories in my dreams, had even mistaken them as actual memories until I managed to decipher them as parts of imaginations instead, and many of those images had shown me various types of white picket fence houses. The settings and everything else around them would be a blurry mess and they had kept changing each time they came to me, but there had always been one part of it that had been consistent, an invariable factor from all of these dreams—Jimin.

“Is that Jimin?” Taehyung questioned me the moment he noticed the expressions I was making as I was messaging my boyfriend back, not realising that my mind had started to wander. “Is he still at practice?”

Putting away my phone, I smiled at him. “Yeah. That’s him. He was checking on me. Kinda. I told him that I’d be with you while he’s busy with his dance.”

Taehyung tilted his head. “Doesn’t he bring you to his practices?”

“No,” I said, snickering to myself when I remembered how adamant Jimin had been to stop me when I insisted to come to his practice. “Jimin said it’s better for me to just watch the actual performance. I think he’s still a bit embarrassed to show me all the process behind his work.”

Taehyung chuckled. Shaking his head, he only commented lightly, “He probably didn’t want you distracting him. Or worse, have his friends coming on to you while he’s busy dancing.”

I rolled my eyes at him. Both of us knew that Jimin had a bit of a jealousy streak, but not so much that it made me feel suffocated just to be with him, or to feel like I was constantly walking on eggshells. The only way he had been showing it was to playfully complain or he would sometimes poke fun on me, acting sulky but never too much.

There was only one person in this world who could tick him off the wrong way. And honestly, Jimin was not the only one who was against this same person.

Looking up at Taehyung, I realised that he had never been kind to each time Jungkook’s name was mentioned. Out of everyone in my life, he was the only person who knew why I had to stay away from Jungkook. He was the only one who had heard all the stories, everything that I remembered from the other ’me’ and all that I felt when the memories returned.

Just like how I was the only person who knew what would happen to both of us if we would ever make another mistake.

Taehyung glanced towards the table next to us one last time, growing impatient while he was completely oblivious to where my mind had been wandering to. Watching him like this reminded me of how distracted he had been when he first came to pick me up, suggesting that something must have happened to him between the moment when we parted ways to the time he came by at the coffee shop. I had been waiting for him to talk about it, only to have him constantly acting as if I had yet to notice his odd behaviour.

“So how was your day?” I finally asked him when his gaze turned blank and he was suddenly becoming more interested in the paper napkin which he had placed on his lap. “You haven’t told me much about your work and your trip to the library.”

He shrugged. “It’s fine.”

That got me raising my brows. It was becoming more obvious to me now that he was trying to avoid talking about it. “Really?”

Taehyung looked up to me, pressing his lips before he released a defeated sigh. “I hate you,” he said, catching me off guard before he suddenly chuckled. “I hate that I can never lie to you.”

Smiling to him, I merely shrugged my shoulders the way he often did. “We’ve been friends since forever. If there’s one person in this world who knows you better than yourself, it would be me,” I said teasingly, before I added, “Second to Hoseok. Sometimes I wonder if he’s secretly your brother, not mine.”

Taehyung chuckled at that. There was no lie that he had come to grow close to Hoseok as we grew up together. Our friendship had started from a play date held by our Moms that happened when we were kids, only because our houses were located in the same block and I was the only one in the neighbourhood who was at the same age as he was. Then our friendship grew in elementary school when we promised to have each other’s backs, and we stayed close as we kept on going to the same school, doing the same things together growing up, then he stayed with me when I got sick and while I was recovering in the hospital years ago. But, as a boy, he had looked up to Hoseok as if he was his own older brother, and Hoseok had taken a liking to him especially because he had always wanted a brother.

“True. Though he wouldn’t be subtle if he wants to know stuff about me. He’d probably be snapping at me—Come on! Spill!” Taehyung jokingly imitated Hoseok’s tone of voice, which made me laugh when I saw his face and I could actually imagine my brother’s voice coming out of him.

“Seriously, though. What is it?” I asked again before he ever had a chance to change the topic around and avoid answering your question. “You came to the coffee shop looking like someone had just hurt your dog. And you’ve been pretty quiet when you’re not talking about this place and the food.”

Once again, he pressed his lips together. “Nothing much, really,” he started, though he suddenly grew restless in his seat and he began to look away, finding it hard to look into my eyes. He suddenly seemed nervous, yet I still felt a hint of relief when I didn’t see any guilt in his eyes, it would probably be worse if he was hiding something big from me.

“It’s just—” he said, clearing his throat. “I stumbled upon Namjoon at the library earlier.”

“You did?”

Are you sure that he was not stalking you? —Was what I had originally wanted to say, but I kept them to myself.

Taehyung looked down briefly before facing me again. “Right, so—he kept on asking me to join the cause and the rest of their spring activities cause they needed more people. Then he started asking me about my classes, the professors I’ve gotten this semester, before he suddenly asked if we could grab a coffee sometime.”

I blinked. He had spoken so quickly during the last part of his sentence that I wasn’t sure if I was hearing things right until it finally clicked for me a few milliseconds too long. “He asked you to go out for coffee?” I asked, to which he nodded. “Like—casually? Or—”

“Like—he just literally said, ‘Hey, why don’t we grab some coffee sometime and talk more?’, in a friendly kind of way,” he said, imitating Namjoon’s voice in his own way.

“What did you say to him?”

“Nothing,” he said, shrugging sheepishly. “I was kind of shocked and he only patted me in the back and walked away.”

I blinked again. “Funny how he seems to insist having you around a lot,” I muttered, before looking at him suspiciously. “He even came to you this morning while the gathering was clearing up. And you said he wasn’t interested to make a move on you.”

The waiter came in just then to drop our drinks and Taehyung took his time to take a sip of his cold beer before answering, “I don’t know either. He didn’t seem like he even noticed me that much in the past year.”

“How did you feel about his offer then?”

He raised his brows. “How I felt? Well—I certainly didn’t have all the goosebumps, the fireworks, or my heart beating fast cause I have no jumbled memories mixing in between the good and the bad, so—”

“Hey, watch it—” I warned him while pointing a straw at him. “No, I’m just asking cause it seemed to bother you a little.”

“It’s not. It’s just—” he seemed to contemplate his answers for a moment, like he was trying to find the best way to explain his trail of thoughts even while he was having trouble understanding it himself.

“I guess I was just wondering, why me?” he finally said. “I mean, I kind of understand why he would be approaching me—another ’me’—in the alter life. It must have been compelling to come on to someone who seemed broken and lost and I had probably seen him as my saviour, the light of my life after the darkness, the white knight.”

His overly dramatic expression had you raising your brows. “He’s kind of a heartthrob too.”

“Yeah—” he hummed. “I won’t even deny the fact that he’s attractive. But normal me? This me? I wouldn’t have picked him as the type of guy I’d be dating if I would—” he stopped and started glancing around, as if he was afraid that someone might be listening in. “You know.”

And I did know what he was trying to tell me. For someone who had been open about his sexual preferences, he was still wary about the world around us, not too sure on how they would perceive him.

He leaned back on his seat when he added, “He seems so put together too. But after knowing what would have happened if I had just let things be, I can somehow look past his false act of composure and find him seem a bit unhinged.”

“Seriously?” I questioned him, laughing. “Unhinged? Have you been reading criminal fiction novels in your Psych classes?”

He rolled his eyes. “You know what I mean.”

I laughed at him, but then stopped myself as I watched him closely. While a part of me was relieved that he believed me enough to tread things carefully, I was also feeling the guilt for allowing him to build his own boundaries by giving him all the warnings on what was supposed to be our future. Even though he was giving it the best he could, I still worried that he might not be living his life to the fullest potential just because he was afraid to make any decision that could lead to the end of our friendship.

Taehyung looked at me when I fell silent. “What? Why aren’t you saying anything?”

Sighing, I had no choice but to share my thoughts on this. “Just wondering if I’ve made the right decision on letting you know about your supposed future. What if my memories had been wrong this whole time and it wasn’t Namjoon that I saw? What if he’s just a good guy with his mind on his good cause who happens to have an innocent crush on my best friend?”

Taehyung seemed to ponder on it briefly before shaking his head. “I’ve been talking shit and making long speeches about you risking things by not staying away from this dude who had supposedly ruined your life and your trust to other human beings—”

I rolled my eyes. “His name is Jungkook.”

But he continued on, ignoring me completely. “—so I’ve decided not to risk mine. Second chances, remember?”

His words made me stop. I bit my lip and nodded. “Second chances.”

Taehyung gave me a grim smile when he nodded back, but it also appeared to me that there was a huge weight being pulled away from his shoulders. As if being honest with each other had been freeing for him, something that I was feeling too.

Noticing that our meal order had yet to arrive at our table, Taehyung looked around and pushed himself out of his seat. “The food’s going to be here any minute but I’m going to need the restrooms. I’ll be right back,” he said, before he left his seat to make a quick run to the restrooms at the back.

I watched him leave just in time for my phone to vibrate in my hand. I looked down, opening the messaging app immediately for thinking that Jimin had texted some more before his practice would start again, only to stop when I saw Jungkook’s name flashing on the screen instead.

From Jungkook: Hey, I hope I’m not texting you with your boyfriend around :p

From Jungkook: It’s been a while since I’ve seen you at the pub

From Jungkook: Is everything okay?

Biting my lips, I looked over to where I saw Taehyung had disappeared to and breathed a sigh of relief that the message had come in while he was gone. Taehyung would have only needed to take one look at my face before he would start asking questions, including why I had been texting with Jungkook from time to time.

To Jungkook: everything’s fine

To Jungkook: Been a bit busy, that’s all. How are you?

From Jungkook: doing okay

From Jungkook: I’m finally back on campus and I just got my schedules at the pub. Will be performing on stage next Friday night

From Jungkook: Will you come?

I lowered the phone to my lap, having no idea how to respond. While most of our texts had been about keeping up with each other’s lives, there had been a few times when he would invite me to his show at the pub. I had only come to watch him a couple of times, most of them without even saying hello to him directly and leaving before giving him a chance to sit with me. I knew it was wrong to keep in touch and talk to him like this after what I had promised my best friend before, but it had not been easy for me to ignore him.

And he was not someone who would give up so easily either that ignoring his text messages was never a choice. Not when he would often try to find me or even call me until he could talk to me.

From Jungkook: ________?

Another message came in, letting me know that he was waiting for my response. Biting my lip, I pondered over the options. What was I supposed to say? And would he be happy to hear what my answers if I had refused to come?

And why on earth was I already wondering what clothes to wear for the night at the pub?

To Jungkook: Sorry

To Jungkook: I’ll try to be there. What time?

From Jungkook: the second stage of the night. 8 PM

From Jungkook: I’ll be waiting :)

Reading through his response, my stomach turned and my chest grew tight with guilt. There was no way out of this now. And I really had no idea what I was doing either, knowing that Friday night would be the night I would usually come to stay at Jimin’s place so we could spend the weekend together.

“Fuck,” I cursed at myself, before tossing my phone into my bag to avoid looking through his messages again.

The meal we ordered had just arrived at the table when Taehyung returned, with the waiter apologising to the two of us repeatedly about the long wait, explaining to us overwhelmed they were as the restaurant was a full house for the night. As Taehyung returned to his seat, the waiter walked away from our table, and my eyes were drawn to follow him as he weaved through the floor between the tables to return to the kitchen area.

That was when I saw him. His head bobbing over the other seated guests as he walked across the room until he found the table that seemed to have been reserved for him.

“What?” Taehyung questioned me when he noticed, his voice drawing my attention when I was still looking far away. “What is it?” he asked again when he got no answer, then he began looking around the seating area to find what I was looking at.

“I saw someone. From campus. Though it seems a bit odd that he had come all the way to this place to eat,” I said, disregarding the fact that it had been the same case for us since Taehyung and I had driven far to be there too. “There, he’s on the table at the corner. Wearing a black shirt and a black cap.”

He followed the direction I was subtly pointing to, taking a few seconds before his eyes grew with recognition when he finally found Yoongi at the other side of the restaurant.

“You know him?” he asked, raising his brows at me when he turned to me again. “I thought the only people you know on campus are just me, Jimin, and his cousin.”

“Ha, ha, funny,” I sneered at him while rolling my eyes while he enjoyed having been able to mock me about it. But then my eyes went back to his table, seeing Yoongi with another man who looked like him, but a bit older.

“He came to the coffee shop earlier today on my shift,” I told him, finding him looking at Yoongi again as if he wanted to make sure. “You know who he is?”

He turned back to you with wide eyes. “Min Yoongi? Everyone knows him. He’s pretty popular among the frat boys. He’s always leading his friends on the stuff they always organise in their frat houses, though he hasn’t really been in the scene that much lately.”

“And you have?”

He scoffed at me. “Hey, unlike you, I still have a reputation to uphold,” he teased me, snickering when I gave him a scowl. “My dorm mate gets invited to their parties a lot and I always go with him when I can.”

I looked over to Yoongi again, noticing the broody look that he was wearing even as he was chatting with his companion. His brother, more likely, since they looked pretty similar from this distance. Except that when Yoongi was wearing a dark shirt, his brother was wearing something lighter and a bit too formal for a grill house. “So, why hasn’t he been around?”

“Seems like he’s graduating this year, and rumours said he had already taken a job at his brother’s company so he no longer spends much time on campus unless necessary,” he explained slowly before he began glancing around warily the way he did previously. “But, um—there’s also this rumour going around.”

I snapped my head to look at him. “What kind of rumour?”

Taehyung took another quick glance at Yoongi before leaning closer so he could whisper, “Someone said they caught him kissing a TA. A male TA. It happened at a dorm party.”

My eyes grew instantly wide and I had to lean closer as I whispered angrily, “And people just—what? Stay away from him?”

Taehyung shrugged. “I’m not sure, but it seems like his friends are beginning to dwindle. I don’t think it’s because they’re afraid of the repercussions from sticking around or if it’s because there’s a possibility that he’s queer if the rumours are true, it’s just—” he swallowed hard, looking sympathetic as he glanced one more time towards Yoongi’s table before looking at me again, and I knew that the look he was giving me was there only due to the fact that he had once been in his shoes. “He’s been hiding this for so long, if it’s really true. Maybe they’re just pissed cause he’s been keeping a secret. You know how those frat boys are, they hold secrets like a treasure.”

They sure did.

Because according to one of my strongest memories of all, one of the biggest secrets that had been painful enough for me to remember from my past life was how Jungkook’s friends had also had a hand in hiding his sins from me.

Shaking my head, I chose to look away from Yoongi. “Still seems so stupid to just turn their backs on him like that just because of some rumours,” I wondered out loud, when the bitter truth of how he was left abandoned by the same people who were supposed to support him through it truly sunk in.

“It makes you think. Doesn’t it?” he asked me, though it sounded more like he was wondering out loud just like I was.

“About what?” I asked him.

“How you can’t always depend on others to stay in your life forever,” he said to me with an as-matter-factly tone, though it also sounded bitter, because he had experienced it too. Meeting his eyes, I was suddenly glad that I had been able to show him that he deserved the kind of support he needed too.

As we continued with our dinner, talking about all the silly and mundane things from our daily lives, I couldn’t shake the nagging thought still hanging in the back of my head. Too many coincidences happening on the same day. Right at that moment, just when I recounted that I had met Yoongi coincidentally twice in the same day after not being able to remember him for so long, something in my head clicked.

I just didn’t know what to do about it. And I had no idea how I could make it all possible to even happen.

—First life. St. Vincent’s Hospital, year 2027—

As the final weeks before the surgery slowly started creeping up on me, I was slowly becoming a complete nervous wreck.

The fact that I was having an on and off fever also did not help my case at all. I was feeling like crap, was constantly exhausted, without knowing if the reason I kept on falling asleep was due to the overwhelming dose of painkillers that still remained in my blood or if my body had succumbed to the lingering pain that had only been intensifying, as if the masses in my body knew that they were about to be torn to pieces and they were giving their last fight.

My family, which mainly included Hoseok and Kara with the additional help from Yoongi, had been coming and going to stay with me and nurse me whenever needed. I knew that they were trying to ease my mind by staying positive whenever they were around, lifting my spirit while distracting me with things that they knew would make me happy. They would do everything they could, from bringing me movies, books, sometimes food or snacks that I could take without breaking the doctors’ rules and ones that I could swallow easily, to telling me stories or life updates that would be able to stop me from thinking about all the negative things I was facing.

But as the days were coming closer to the day of the surgery, not a single thing could help ease my mind. It was then when I finally realised that the fear had never truly sunk in, and it was only then that my brain was finally processing the fact that I was about to face a high-risk procedure that—according to some of the things I had been reading while I was preparing for it—also had a high chance of failure. And every illusion that I had let itself grow inside my mind, the false hope and optimism shattered like a glass wall and I was faced with the reality that perhaps all of what I was about to go through would be nothing but a fruitless attempt of getting me out of my bind.

It was even worse because I also knew that the people around me were doing all they could to hide the fact that Jimin had been absent.

The emptiness I felt without him there had seemed like a void, a black hole that was growing larger inside me, as if it would be strong enough to swallow me from within. That was when I realised how much I needed him, and I could never imagine how life would be if I no longer had him by my side.

The last time I came to see him, he had been recovering from a long day of tests and treatments, and I had stayed in his room until he was feeling better, only after I had made sure that he was strong enough to go through the days without constantly being under watch.

Not too long after we parted ways, I was getting prepared for the surgery that I was no longer allowed to leave the room or to roam the hospital as freely as I had before. Though the reason why I had not been able to come and see him was not only due to the restrictions given to me, but also because my body had simply given up. I had no energy, and the pain was getting too unbearable as I was getting less painkillers to allow my body to take in more of my new meds.

The last time I saw him again was when I was under heavy medication. I was having a high fever that day and I heard his voice talking to my brother and the residing nurse to ask about my condition. I felt him holding my hand and kissing my forehead each time I woke up, barely able to speak, but seeing his face through my bleary eyes felt like a breath of fresh air. When I woke up feeling much better later that night, he was no longer there, but his warmth remained.

The only thing that had been making me worried was knowing that there had to be a reason why he had yet to come and visit me ever since. In other—more regular—days, he would appear in my room to each time I was unable to visit. He had also promised to stay by my side through this surgery, and yet, only a couple of days left and there was still no sign of him, letting me wondering if there was something wrong.

“I can check on him if you want,” Yoongi finally offered after noticing how anxious I had been the whole day. He must have caught me glancing towards the door even as we were sitting there, watching the movie playing from his laptop together. Perhaps he knew that my head had never been on the movie, just like it had always been.

I looked at him and sighed. “Could you?” I finally relented and asked him. “I asked Soyeon about him but she didn’t say much except that Jimin is still recovering. We text at night before bed, but he’d never answer when I ask how he’s doing.”

Yoongi simply nodded. “You know, it’d probably be easier if you guys just share a room together, huh?” he wryly said.

“I wish,” I chuckled, rolling my eyes before I realised just how tempting the idea had sounded. “Is something like that even possible though?”

Yoongi shrugged. “I’ve heard of family members or spouses with terminal illnesses being put together in the same room, but I don’t know if it’s possible on your case. I could have Hoseok or Kara to ask around. They’re the ones who are listed as your family.”

Shaking my head, I turned to look at the laptop again. “I don’t even know if Jimin would agree.”

“I’m sure he’s just as devastated as you are that he can’t come to see you.”

“You really think so?” I questioned him, finding him frowning when I looked up. “Thanks for trying to lift up my spirits. I feel like you’re treating me like I’m your teenage younger sister or something.”

Looking at me, Yoongi merely scoffed. “I never had any teenage younger sister to take care of so I wouldn’t know.”

When a visitor finally came by to my room later in the night, it was not Jimin.

Yoongi was putting his coat on to leave for the night after staying with me all day when Jungkook appeared in the doorway. There was another bouquet of white flowers in his hand—the same as the ones he had been sending me every day—and a deep scowl on his face when he exchanged gazes with Yoongi.

Yoongi clenched his jaw, obvious enough to show his dislike at Jungkook’s appearance. He didn’t even bother to greet my ex-husband as he turned to me. “Do you want me to stay a bit longer?”

I looked back and forth between them, only to have Jungkook looked away when I met his eyes, though his gaze softened just a little when he saw how uncomfortable I felt at the tension that was rising from them together. Sighing to myself, I could only choose to diffuse the situation by letting Yoongi go on his way.

“It’s okay. You have that date to go to and it won’t be long before Kara gets here anyway,” I told Yoongi, though it was clear that he didn’t exactly enjoy accepting my choice.

“You sure?” he asked again, to which I only nodded. He came to my bed while shaking his head, but he chose not to say a thing when he kissed my forehead aside from telling me to call him if I needed anything. “Promise me to let me know if anything happens.”

“I promise.”

He gave me a final nod before turning to the doorway, where Jungkook was still standing. Both of them stood facing each other for a few awkward seconds before Jungkook finally stepped aside to allow him to pass without saying a word to each other.

The moment Yoongi left, the air between us rippled into a different kind of tension. When it was only between him and Yoongi, all I could feel was their rage, their hostility against each other. But now, as Jungkook was making his way slowly towards the bed, there was a sense of awkwardness that grew between us.

Only a year ago, he was the only man that I had ever loved. Though our marriage was not perfect, he was still a huge part of me that I called home, no matter how lonely that ‘home’ would feel like at times. Tonight, it felt like he was a stranger. There was still a pull inside my chest that felt so tight I could hardly breathe, but it was not enough to have me opening my arms to welcome him with a warm embrace.

Jungkook looked around the room with a wry smile on his face. “You’ve kept the flowers,” he murmured softly as he saw all the white flowers that still remained, finding each one being kept in different vases in all sizes before looking back at me.

“Kara and my nurse, Soyeon, took care of them. If the boys had been the ones who received them, they’d end up somewhere else,” I told him with a chuckle, choosing not to tell him that there had been some that had only ended being tossed into the trash. Mostly on Yoongi’s doing, because Hoseok had always opted on passing them on to the other female nurses who had slowly grown into becoming his admirers.

Jungkook nodded as he listened, and I noticed that his grip on the bouquet had somehow tightened. “May I?” he asked, pointing at the empty chair next to my bed which Yoongi had been using all day.

“Sure,” I said, as I watched him take his seat.

“Here, these are for you,” he said to me as he handed the small bouquet of white roses to me, forcing me to peel my fingers away from the sheets that I had been clutching tightly ever since the moment he appeared at the door.

“Thank you,” I whispered. My fingers felt cold when I took the flowers from his hands. My skin crawled when our fingers touched. It was an odd feeling, when in the past, each of his gentle touches would be able to send my heart racing and my body would shudder in pleasure. It truly felt like he was no longer a part of me, as if the years we shared together had been a distant memory that was no longer mine.

I instantly pulled my hand away and kept the flowers on my lap. I didn’t miss the way he flinched when I avoided his touch, nor did I miss the look of hurt and disappointment that lingered in his eyes when he saw me clutching the flowers tightly on my lap, as if I was using them as a shield to protect me from him.

“How are you feeling?” he finally asked after a brief moment of silence. He cleared his throat and blushed when he noticed me looking up. “I, uh—I heard the surgery is in a couple of days.”

I nodded. “Two days,” I said, and my heartbeat accelerated almost immediately. He must have noticed it when my skin blanched, when the rush of panic came over me.

“Oh, shit,” he muttered. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to—”

“It’s okay,” I quickly told him. “It’s just that it feels surreal, dealing with it. I still haven’t completely wrapped my mind around it. It felt like a long time ago when I agreed to go through with it, so I’ve tried not to think about it too much. But then, suddenly it’s only days apart.”

Jungkook nodded as he tried to understand, and the concerned look on his face remained. “You’ll get through this just fine, I know it.”

I looked up, giving him a small smile. “How can you be so sure?”

Pressing his lips, Jungkook avoided my gaze for a moment. “Because you’re strong,” he finally said to me. “You’re always the stronger one between us. You’ve gotten through everything and still came out of it in one piece, whereas I could only burn things to dust and destroy everything I touched.”

Shaking my head, my words slipped out of me before I could stop them. “Not everything.”

His gaze found me, looking surprised to hear what I said, while I had to look away when once again all of the good memories that we had shared together went through my mind. My fingers clenched tighter around the flowers when I wondered just how everything fell into pieces, though what was left inside me was nothing but a numbing rage, when all the hurt he had given me had seized to give me pain since a long time ago.

Jungkook shifted in his seat, pulling my attention back to him. He was still avoiding my gaze, giving me a chance to finally take him all in. There were a lot of changes going on with him. He had always looked pristine, even when he was hiding his pain inside him. But there were also those moments in time, especially while we were battling for our divorce, when he looked terribly broken. He had stopped taking care of himself, leaving his hair constantly messy and his face looking dark and gloomy. I remembered seeing his eyes red and swollen, with deep, dark bags under them growing darker each time with all the sleepless nights he went through and all the drinking that he had resorted to just to escape from everything.

Now, he had looked much better, making good of his words to take care of himself while I was battling my own illness. His body had grown toned and broader, a sign that he had reserved back to working out and eating healthy again. His eyes were much brighter than how I had seen him last, as he had promised me time and time again that he would stop drinking so he could always be in his clear mind while he was supporting me. And then I caught the sight of his hair, looking thicker and longer as he styled them to the back of his head.

“You look good,” I said, making him look at me again. “Healthier. And you’ve kept your hair longer.”

He smiled and ran his fingers through his hair. “Not on purpose,” he admitted with a shrug. “I used to have my wife reminding me to go to the barbershop. Sometimes she would do it herself, have me sit down in the kitchen as she would cut my hair for me. Now, I can’t even decide what style of hair to choose for myself because I’d never know what would look good for me.”

I looked down just as my eyes started burning. There was nothing I could do to stop the tears from building up, threatening to flow like a river.

“Sorry, fuck—” I heard Jungkook’s voice cursing at himself before he leaned forward, catching my wrist and holding it gently in his hold. His thumb began rubbing gently on my skin and the dam of tears just broke apart. “I really need to learn how to shut up, but I just cannot help myself.”

I laughed nervously, though they came out with a round of sobbing when I continued crying. It took a moment before I calmed down. As much as I hated to admit it, the way he was softly holding my hand truly helped put myself together.

“I do miss you. That’s not a lie,” he whispered softly, meeting my eyes when I looked up. He reached out with his free hand, brushing my tears away. “You might not see it, but it feels so empty without you. I tried. I promise you, I have tried. Not to move on by seeing anyone else, because other women always remind me of you, but I try to live my life the best I could, to take care of myself the way you would do it for me, but nothing could fill up the empty space you left behind.”

Shaking my head, I tried to pull away from him. “Jungkook—”

His grip tightened, and he refused to let me go. “No, I’m not doing this to beg you to come back. I swear. I just want to tell you how I feel before I’d explode.”

Drawing a shaky breath, I tried my best to calm my heartbeat before I looked at him again. “Can we talk about something else, please?”

Jungkook looked at me for a moment longer then nodded his head. “Sure,” he said, before he proceeded in telling me things about what he had been doing lately. He made me laugh when he talked about meeting up with his friends, reuniting with his mates from college and spending the whole night playing pool.

“No, I didn’t drink,” he said to me when I asked him about it. “Been sober for almost six months now. There’s no way I can break that promise to you now,” he added, making me smile wider with relief brewing in my chest. “Eunwoo got a bit crazy though. Seconds after he agreed to join me on the next AA meeting, he ordered a full bottle of a 12 years-old Macallan and finished almost three-quarters of it on his own.”

“And the only thing you drank was Coke?”

Nodding his head, he smiled proudly. “Yes, Ma’am. I was on my best behaviour the whole night,” he said, and I felt instantly proud of him. The feeling was bittersweet, however, because I couldn’t stop wondering what our lives would have been like if he had as much control back then when we were together.

“I’m glad,” was all that I could say to him. “I’m happy to know that you’re living a better life.”

Pressing his lips together, he reached out to grab my hand. “And you are going to be there to continue watching me as I make better changes in my life, so you can witness me as I grow to be the man that you can feel proud of,” he said to me, and another set of tears escaped from me. Tightening his hold on my hand, he reached out to my chin and turned my face so I could look at him.

“Listen to me. You’re going to get through this, be stronger and healthier. I know you would. I know it’s scary, but I’m here. As much as I want to beg for you to come back to me, the only thing I need for you is to fight a good fight. We’ll get through this, and we will both have a much better life. We’ll watch each other as we both move on and find our happiness, to make the most of the rest of our lives, whether we’re doing it together or apart. Okay?”

At this point, I was a sobbing mess. The fear was still clawing from within. But his words gave me a new strength that I never knew I could still feel. It probably wouldn’t be enough to make sure that I could make it through, but it was enough to help me look at what was beyond me with a different kind of light.

As I looked into his eyes, I found a new kind of calmness that I had thought I had lost. What I saw in his eyes then would never be the same as what I had seen from him in the past, when he was the reason for me to carry on. But for now, this was more than enough. Taking one last deep, shaky breath, I looked straight into his eyes and nodded. I knew it was wrong to take comfort from the same man that had caused me a lot of pain, the same man that had also caused all the darkest times of my life.

But I knew that he was right and I needed to engulf myself in the comfort of his warmth just as long as I could find strength in them. No matter how scary it would be, I knew that I had to fight it. I needed to. And I had to survive through this no matter what.

“Okay.”

Jimin finally came to see me on the last day I had before the surgery.

It only took waking up to his smile to feel like I was coming alive again, even though I had to take a moment to make sure that I was not dreaming, that he was actually there.

I looked over his shoulder, noticing that the sky outside the window was still dark. the sun had barely come up, which meant that he came in way before the first round of nurses started. On the couch across the room, I saw Kara still deep in her sleep. She had come around the time Jungkook was ready to leave last night, and she had stayed all night to keep me company.

Out of everyone, Kara had been the one who would stay with me overnight. She has admitted once that she was worried that I would feel lonely should I ever wake up in the middle of the night without anyone by my side.

Another reason for her to stay was because of the memory we shared about my Mom. At one of the conversations that we have had where we talked about my mother, I had told her about the late-night phone calls that my Mom made while she was ill. Her eyes instantly lost their light, knowing that one of the many reasons why my mother had been left in the hospital all by herself during those times were because of her. Because my father had chosen to spend the night with his mistress instead of staying by my mother’s side.

“I would remember her whenever I think about you sleeping alone at night in this lousy hospital, afraid and lonely,” she said once after she had asked for a cot and an extra blanket for her to sleep in. “I won’t be able to sleep well at night when it happens. Take it as my redemption. I can’t change the past, but I sure as hell won’t let the same thing happen to you.”

Gentle kisses along my knuckles brought me back to the man sitting next to my bed. Jimin smiled at me when I looked at him. He had my hand in his grip, his lips pressing on my skin as he trailed soft kisses that sent delicate shivers through my body. His touches were enough to warm me up against the cold air conditioner blasting in the room.

“Morning, beautiful,” he whispered, making sure to keep it down so he wouldn’t wake Kara.

“Morning,” I answered him, still completely in a daze as I took in the sight of him. “You’re really here.”

His gaze softened as he gave me a wry smile. “I’m sorry that it took me so long to come and see you again,” he said, and only then did I realise that his voice was hoarse and weak, hidden in his whispers.

And then it took him pulling away for me to notice everything that I had missed—the wheelchair he was sitting on, the thinning hair under his beanie hat, the bags under his red-rimmed eyes, the sunken cheeks, the blisters on his lips—and my heart dropped.

“Jimin—” I choked, to which he quickly pressed a finger on my lips to stop me from talking.

“Sshh—I know, I look like hell,” he said, chuckling softly. Though the sound immediately turned into a set of coughs until he managed to take a deep breath and hold it in. “And I’ve been through hell.”

My eyes burned with tears, but I did all I could to stop them from falling. Yet I couldn’t stop myself from questioning him, “Why didn’t you say anything? Why didn’t you tell me? Why didn’t anyone—”

“Because I didn’t want you to worry about me when you already have so much to worry about on yourself,” he said to me with a sad smile. “I asked the nurses to not tell you anything. I couldn’t leave my room and let you see me when I was at my worse. You need to focus on yourself, on what’s happening tomorrow. I should be the last thing in your mind to worry about.”

Shaking my head, I leaned towards him and let him took my hand in his once again. “It’s not fair.”

He smiled at me and said, “It’s only fair. I shouldn’t be in the way of your recovery.”

“You never were. I need you, and I want to be there to support you too.”

“I know. That’s why I’m here now. I’ve done all I could to get strong enough to be here today so I could see you,” he said, pulling my hand in his so he could place my palm on his cheek, giving me a chance to feel him. “You know that I will always be here to support you.”

“Always? Promise?” He only answered me with a nod of his head, but it was enough for now. “Can you stay here with me?”

Jimin glanced over his shoulder and tipped his head. “Will your guardian let me?”

I looked over to Kara’s sleeping form and smiled. “She has to.”

And indeed she did. Kara knew how much I had missed Jimin and how his presence helped make a lot of changes that she even let Jimin use the cot that she had neglected the night before so he could rest once in a while. Even the nurses had come to let Jimin take his medicines without him returning to his room.

“Told you that things would be easier if we had just been placed in the same room,” Jimin joked at Soyeon when she came into the room while shaking her head at him. His comment surprised me as I had never thought he would even consider it.

“You asked them for a room transfer?”

Jimin shrugged with a sheepish smile. “Hey, I tried. I’ve thought about it ever since you got sick from your trips down the halls at night to see me.”

I looked at him, not believing what I just heard. Never once in my mind I had considered it possible for us to share a room that I had pushed away every hope of making it happen. I was completely speechless that all I could do was hold his hand. It was Soyeon who spoke next, breaking the moment we were sharing.

“If you want, I can submit another request once you’ve gone through the surgery,” she said, while Jimin and I exchanged looks.

“Can you do that?”

Soyeon glanced at Kara who was now giving her a hopeful look and smiled. “I can ask your doctor to have permission for transfer,” she answered me with a wink.

“If Doctor Kim agrees, then it’ll leave only one last hurdle that might get in the way,” Jimin said, breaking whatever spell we were in before either one of us even had a chance to celebrate the possible good news.

“What is it?”

Jimin gave me a sad smile and said, “Your ex-husband.”

It was finally the day of the surgery.

Everyone had been here with me since this morning, waiting in the room with me. While my anxiety had peaked through the roof the day before, I was surprisingly calm ever since I had woken up this morning. Meanwhile, everyone else seemed to be on the edge since the moment I woke up and it even got worse when the nurse came in just one hour before I was supposed to be taken to the operating room, handing me the last medicine for the day.

The frown on Hoseok’s face kept on slipping out no matter how hard he tried to hide it behind his smile. Even the years that had passed during the period of time when we fell apart couldn’t change the fact that I knew my brother. That I would be able to catch on to his emotions so easily despite his efforts of hiding them from me.

He was not the only one who was restless, as Yoongi kept fidgeting in his seat. He had been silent all day, tension continued to roll out of his shoulders as he sat with Hoseok across the room.

As I was forbidden to consume any food or water, Kara found nothing to do to distract herself and she had opted to stay by my side. I had to respect her for trying her best to stay calm, though the moment she held my hand and she started praying for the two of us, it almost felt like I was the one calming her down until her fingers stopped shaking.

“It’ll be okay,” I finally said to her when she gave me yet another forced smile the moment our eyes met. But everyone in the room knew that I was speaking for all of us, especially myself, when I added, “Everything’s going to be fine.”

Jimin came to my room just when it was almost time for me to go. He came in on his wheelchair, with Nurse Soyeon pushing him into the room. Everyone instantly stepped aside to give us space, allowing Jimin to settle down next to the bed, where he took my hand to hold and he could lean in just close enough to give me a kiss.

“I’ll be here until the moment they come to pick you up,” he whispered to me between his gentle kisses, then gave me another promise before he pulled away, “And I’ll be here when you wake up.”

“Promise?”

“I promise.”

After that moment, time seemed to stand still. Neither of my family dared to speak, afraid that any word they said would burst any bubble that we found ourselves in, to allow the reality to sink in and take over the serene feeling we were having. But they kept hovering around me, making sure that I was calm and ready, though I felt more numb than I was probably supposed to.

It wasn’t until the moment when Soyeon returned with another nurse from our floor, pushing a gurney into the room with the help of an orderly, when the silent tension in the room broke apart.

“It’s time,” Soyeon said to me with a calm voice that did nothing to stop my heartbeat from pacing rapidly in my chest. Jimin must have sensed the change in my mood, because he immediately pulled me to him and held me tight, whispering sweet words to calm me down.

“It’s okay, baby. Take a deep breath. Close your eyes and focus on me,” he kept telling me, making sure that I followed his words until I was breathing calmly again.

“Okay, I’m ready,” I nodded at Soyeon after giving Jimin one last kiss and sending one last smile to my family.

As everyone stepped back and I was carefully transferred from the bed to the gurney, the numbness returned to me and I let myself to be engulfed in it. Even the pain that came piercing through my spine during the transfer couldn’t snap me out of it. The sense of calm felt even stronger as Jimin grabbed my hand and gave me one last squeeze only moments before the orderly began pushing me out of the room.

“I’ll come with you,” I heard Hoseok said, as if watching me leave the room had snapped him out of his trance and he quickly rushed to walk alongside the gurney as we left our family behind. The last thing I saw when I took one last glance was Yoongi placing his arm around Kara’s shoulders as she cried soundlessly, and Jimin smiling at me as he placed his palm over Kara’s hand that was resting on his shoulder.

The trip from my room towards the operating section on our floor felt like an eternity. I barely paid attention to our surroundings as we made a few turns down the hallways, focusing more on my breathing pattern as I kept myself calm, until I suddenly saw him standing not too far from the doorways leading to the operating area.

“Jungkook,” I called out to him as the gurney slowed down to a stop right where he was waiting for me. He nodded briefly at Hoseok before he turned to me, giving me a warm smile despite the way his eyes were watching me closely as if he was afraid I would disappear.

“You came,” I said, and he nodded.

“I decided I’d wait for you out here so you could have a moment with your family,” he told me, and my eyes moved to his hands, where I found yet another bouquet of white flowers, and his smile widened as he followed my gaze.

“These flowers will be waiting for you in your room to greet you once you return,” Jungkook said, before he leaned down, pressing his lips on my forehead as he whispered. “You’re going to be alright.”

His eyes were glassy with tears when he straightened up, but he forced himself to smile as he brushed gently at my cheek for one last time before he stepped back, allowing the gurney to pass. I kept my eyes on him until I could no longer see him, and Hoseok pulled my attention right before he had to let me go.

“We’ll be waiting for you out here,” he said to me while squeezing my shoulder gently. I could tell that he was trying his best not to cry in front of me, so I put on my brave face and smiled.

“Make sure to buy me some of my favourite ice creams when I come back, will you?”

He nodded and chuckled softly. “I’ll fill up the fridge with them for you.”

“Ready?”

The nurse that was going to assist the surgeons was the one I was not familiar with, but she was friendly and nice that I stayed calm despite the complicated preparations that would have scared me away. I already felt slightly intimidated just minutes ago, when I was pushed into this room with only strangers standing around me. But the thought of my family who would be waiting right outside those doors, and knowing that Dr. Kim would also be here to assist the procedure, all had done more than calm my nerves that all I had to do was wait until this moment would come.

“I’m going to put this mask on you. Just breathe in normally, and you will feel sleepy in no time. Just don’t panic, and focus on counting down or just think of good things, okay?”

“Okay,” I told her, nodding my head before I let her put the breathing mask on my face.

She gave me a smile that was hidden under her mask as I settled back down on the bed, while she carried on with the preparations, helping the surgeons and welcoming Dr. Kim as he came into my line of sight.

His voice was calm, but I barely paid attention to any word he said to me as he introduced the other doctors that had come in with him. I only responded with a nod to each time he spoke, until he instructed me to continue breathing as the only thing they needed to do was to wait until the anaesthetic drugs they had given me would take effect.

Everything around me seemed to move in slow motion afterwards. It felt as if I had left my body and I was watching things unfolding from the outside looking in. I followed the nurse’s instruction as I began breathing normally, taking deep breaths while counting down slowly, until I started to feel heavy with sleep. It didn’t take long until I finally gave in as there was never a fight in me to stop me from getting under, and I felt myself drifting away merely seconds after.

That was when everything happened.

They had all said that when you went under, your whole senses would not be able to tell you about anything happening around you, leaving you completely oblivious to what they were doing to your body.

That was not what seemed to be happening to me.

My senses were completely numb, but I was still there. I was still present. My body was no longer moving, but I was terribly aware. A thick blanket of darkness folded around me, cloaking me from the world that still existed around me. I had lost the ability to feel a thing. There was no pain, not a hint of the slightest of touches they made on me, but I knew they were all there.

My mind registered their presence in the form of shadows. Looming, hovering, moving around me while I was rooted as their center. I could feel their movements even through the fog of darkness, but I could feel none of their touch. I heard nothing but a steady hum, drowning me deeper into the darkness, though some of the voices I heard made it seem more like I was drowning underwater.

And then it happened, and suddenly, I could hear it all almost too clearly.

It started with a steady beep, before it began to rise, sounding louder by the second, and then it went faster. The humming sound around me began to rise as well, growing steadily intense. They sounded almost similar to voices of people shouting, only that everything was muffled, like everything was happening under the current of water. The beeping noise grew louder, breaking through the fog, and then louder, turning into an alarming sound as the shouting continued.

An odd feeling of chill washed over me.

And then everything went still.

Author’s note:

I’m sorry this took a long time, and I know that you must be hating me for that ending lol

Don’t worry, every single question you may have at the moment will be answered soon. We’re so close to the final chapters and I am terribly nervous about it, not going to lie. But, before we can finally get there, we’ll be having an extra chapter coming in the way.

Yes, your requests have been answered. We’ll be getting into Taehyung’s side of the story on the next chapter before we can find more answers to what had happened to all of them in the past.

Stay tuned for the next update. Thank you for all of your support!

—  © 2021 Yoonia, all rights reserved. reposting/modifying of any kind is not allowed. translations are not allowed.

[lunaslethifold]

The Hardest Decision (George Weasley x Muggle!Reader)

Pairing: George Weasley x Female!Muggle!Reader

Synopsis: George made up his mind. Sure, it was the toughest thing he ever decided to do, but he had to do it for Y/N. The only problem was breaking the news to her.

Warnings: ANGST, one swear word I think

Word Count: ~1.5k

A/N: Hey guys, I got this idea while watching Deathly Hallows Part 1. It’s like the Hermione situation with her parents. I’m sure I’ve seen this done before with many different characters, so I’d thought I’d give it a shot. Unfortunately I had to rush a little at the end and I’m sorry :( Maybe I’ll rewrite this one day. And just to be clear this has nothing to do with my George series! Anyways, I hope you enjoy and sorry for any grammatical errors!

This was the hardest decision that George had ever had to make. Other life changing things he decided to do always gave him a good feeling. Leaving Hogwarts. Opening the joke shop. But this one just left a pit in his stomach. He felt extremely guilty, really. 

A part of him wished that he hadn’t introduced his muggle girlfriend, Y/N, to the magical world. He’d met her one day when he and Fred were out and about in a muggle city. The main reason why he showed her his abilities was because he knew that she was the person he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. They’d met the summer before his sixth year and he had been smitten ever since. George intended to marry her. Not to mention that he felt like he could trust her with anything. But even association with him put her in danger, he supposed.

He’d gotten the idea from Hermione, actually. Since they both had muggle loved ones, he’d often talk about his worries with her. There was really only one option George felt he had. There wasn’t anything he wouldn’t do to keep her safe. And with the ministry and death eaters targeting muggles and muggleborns, he had to do this. He would have to obliviate Y/N.

George felt like he had to tell Y/N what he was going to do before he did it. Hermione hadn’t told her parents, but it was like an obligation to him. It felt wrong to just go up to her, point his wand, and erase himself from her life. He had to explain himself, even if she forgot after. It was the more painful option, but he had to get it out there. As if maybe, somehow, Y/N would understand. As if it would change what he was about to do.

Maybe his decision to tell her was more for himself. It’d give him a cleaner conscience. 

And so he found himself on his way to Y/N’s flat. It wasn’t far from the Leaky Cauldron, so he decided to walk. It’d give him some time to get ready and hype himself up. But all it seemed to do was psych him out more. The closer he got, the more he fiddled with his clothes and ran his hands through his hair. 

Once George made it there, he took a deep breath and brought his hand up to knock on the door. It floated in the air a second, hesitating, before he finally knocked 5 times in their pattern.

Their pattern was originally Y/N’s idea. Whenever George came to visit her, he would simply knock the pattern and Y/N would let him in without having to check who it was. She could just look through the peephole, sure, but where was the fun in that? Every time she heard it her heart leaped with joy and this time was no different. She shut off the show she had been watching and walked over to the door. She wasn’t expecting him today, so it was a pleasant surprise. 

“Georgie!” Y/N said with a wide smile on her face after she opened the door. She automatically stepped out of the way to let him in. He stepped inside and the door was closed behind him. 

“Hi lovely,” he said, planting a light kiss on her forehead. He did a good job masking the emotion in his voice, but Y/N could tell something was off right away.

They moved into the living room. “Everything okay?” Y/N said, moving closer to him and placing a gentle hand on his arm. George’s heart fluttered at her concern but it felt like it was being smashed to pieces right after. 

“As okay as it can be,” he answered. Y/N knew all about what was going on in the wizarding world and what was at stake. Oftentimes George would vent to her and tell her things that he didn’t tell anyone else, because he felt that it would just burden them more and they didn’t need extra stress. He told her about his worries and his hopes as she held him on late nights. As she looked at him, he just felt more and more conflicted about what he decided to do.

He wanted to sweep her up in his arms and tell her everything was going to be okay. He wanted to kiss her goodnight and know that he could run back into her arms the next day. But no. He had to keep her safe, no matter what. Staying with her would be selfish.

George tore his gaze away from her kind eyes and moved to sit on the couch. She joined him and instinctively snuggled up next to him. If it was possible, his heart ached more at that. He enjoyed the warmth for a second before pulling away to face her.

She sent him a questioning look. “Erm… I have to tell you something, love,” George said, eyes darting around guiltily. Y/N sensed his uneasiness and her worry increased tenfold. She nodded, encouraging him to go on and scooted closer to him. He almost put more distance between them, but couldn’t bring himself to do it. She just looked so concerned for him.

As George was having an internal battle about what to say, doubt began to cloud in Y/N’s mind. What was going on? Was he going to break up with her? Tell her that he’s in love with a witch and couldn’t see her anymore? She tried to push the thoughts out of her head. Focus on George, she thought. He needs you right now.

Yes, he does need her right now. He needs her to understand. Understand why he would do this to her. He loved her with his entire being and if this is what it took to ensure nothing would happen to her, so be it.

 “Well…” he started, letting out a huff.

“Take your time,” she said kindly.

George took a deep breath and started over. “Well… you know about everything that’s been going on… the war and all…” She nodded in understanding, dreading the news that was about to come. She could tell by the way he was approaching the situation that she wouldn’t like it.

“Er… they’ve been targeting muggleborns and- and muggles too…” Y/N was confused. Where was he going with this? “And you know that I would do anything to keep you safe. I am doing everything to keep you safe.”

Y/N bit her lip in thought. “Nothing’s happened to me, George-”

“Nothing yet, Y/N, yet. But the ministry’s been monitoring my family. It’s only a matter of time before they find out about you,” George suddenly exclaimed, frustration leaking into his tone.

“What are you trying to say, Georgie?” she said softly, a knot forming in her stomach. His chest hurt at the use of his nickname.

“Y/N, I have to-” he started, swallowing harshly. He looked her in the eyes determinedly. “I have to obliviate you.”

Her eyes widen in hurt and confusion. “Obliviate me? As in, erase my memory?” 

“Yes.”

Y/N’s head was spinning, “What?! Why? I don’t understand,” she said, her voice shaking. 

“It’s the only way I’ll know you’ll be safe.” Tears sprung into both of their eyes, but George’s voice kept steady. 

“You can’t just- just-” she said, raising her voice. “Erase our entire relationship! You can’t do that!”

He let out a shaky breath. “Don’t you see, Y/N, I have to do this.”

“No, George! I don’t see! Please explain it to me! You want to throw away, what, four years?”

“Please, just try to understand. Like I said, I’m already being targeted. They’ll come after you straight away. Muggles and muggleborns have-”

She cut him off, “I don’t give a damn, George! I’d risk it all for you. Please, listen. We can find a way through this. If we just-”

“I’m not willing to let you die for me,” George said, voice cracking slightly. “I hope you know I’m doing this because I love you.” He pulled his wand out from the place it was tucked in his clothes. She felt her heart split in her chest.

Y/N tried to choke down her sobs. “No! If you really loved me-” she paused for a second as he began to raise his arm. “You’d-”

“I’m sorry,” he said as tears poured down both of their faces. Y/N shook her head and tried reaching out to him one last time. “Obliviate.”

And the last memory, the last interaction between Y/N and George was pure, unadulterated pain for both of them.

[bokunoheroanalysisforthefuture]

Alrighty, time for the rest of chapter 12! Featuring the Smile of a good bean, and the cool shenanigans of our favorite zoomy boy. 

(Honestly, this bit really IS cool, not gonna lie.)

[No. 12 - Yeah, Just Do Your Best, Iida!]

We transition into Lunch Rush’s cafeteria, where our intrepid trio is eating lunch together. (Also, I think this is the first mention of the support and business courses.)

I really need to save this as a reaction image, it’s just so cute. <3 

Izuku is still worried about whether he can really be class president. Ochako and Tenya both assure him he can, with Tenya going on to explain how Izuku’s grit and decisiveness in a pinch makes him perfectly suited to lead, thus why Tenya voted for him. Which comes as a shock to Izuku.

Ochako notes that Tenya wanted to be president as well, plus comments on him having the glasses and everything. Izuku thinks that Ochako really just says whatever pops into her head. Tenya replies that ambition and suitability are different, and that he felt he made the right choice. 

Both Izuku and Ochako notice his use of ‘humbly’, with Ochako asking if Tenya’s a rich kid based on how he talks. Both of them listen as Tenya explains that he tried to hide it, since he doesn’t like people to know, but he does come from a renowned hero family, the Iidas, and that he’s the second son. The two think this is pretty cool.

Lookit that family legacy, can’t believe grandma Iida is still around and kicking. The one right next to her is Tensei with that forward horn on the forehead, while the man in front and the woman on the left… probably one parent and their sibling, or both parents but one’s hiding the lack of engine quirk with the armor. But this shows that the Iida family has been in heroics for a long time… possibly even since the dawn of quirks… (cough cough)

Tenya asks if they know the turbo hero, Ingenium. Izuku, being a hero nerd, confirms it immediately, getting excited to ramble about the 65 sidekicks at his Tokyo office, before he then connects the dots and determines that Tenya’s related. 

Lookit that, so excited to meet a fellow fan of Tensei. These boys…

Tenya confirms that Ingenium is his brother, with the other two impressed that he’s so frank about it. Tenya goes on to describe his brother’s leadership and his strict adherence to rules and regulations, and that it’s Tenya’s admiration for his brother that’s inspired him to become a hero. 

(Not pictured: Me, trying to imagine Iida Tensei following a single damned rule in his life.)

(Hmm, where do we see the most of Tensei’s personality come from, anyways? I’m guessing the Vigilantes manga, right? Still makes this so hilarious I cannot even.)

Anyways, moving on. 

An Smile. I just had to change my discord pfp to this because it’s so Good. 

Tenya knows he’s not ready to lead anyone yet, thinking about his talk with Izuku back in chapter 5 about the true nature of the entrance exam. He repeats his belief in Izuku as the superior candidate for the role. 

Ochako and Izuku, much like me, are temporarily at a loss for words at seeing such a pure, good smile from our serious boy. Ochako tells Tenya she’s never seen him smile before, which startles Tenya before he assures her that he does smile on occasion. Izuku watches on with an awkward but fond smile, thinking about how, just like he has All Might, Tenya has Ingenium, and that he-

Whatever the thought, it’s cut off by a loud alarm, startling all three of them (poor Ochako, choking on her food like that.) The intercom then announces to the concerned students that security level three has been broken (aka someone’s gotten into the school proper), and that students need to evacuate in an orderly fashion.

The students:

I dunno what else the school expected, really. In the one panel before this, Tenya asks a third year what’s happening. The student replies that a level three breach means someone’s infiltrated the school, and that that hasn’t happened in any of the student’s two and change three years there. The kid then warns them to get outta the cafeteria with the rest of them (and also makes an aside about Tenya’s hand chopping I guess?)

The three end up getting caught up in the crowds, being shoved around inside the stampede. Ochako wants to know what’s going on, Tenya makes a comment about the rapid response to danger that feels like it’s just a touch sarcastic, but it’s so hard to tell with him because he’s so earnest. Izuku makes an aside that the response is maybe a bit too rapid, and that everyone is panicking.

RIP Deku, guess it’s time for Tenya to become the new main character. Press f in the tags to pay respects to our fallen protagonist.

Our new champion takes to the role immediately, wanting to figure out who could have infiltrated. He unceremoniously gets shoved into a window right afterwards, where he can see the press within the school grounds. 

Said crowds are crowding around Present Mic and Eraserhead, demanding a comment from All Might or even the staff in general. They try to warn off the crowds with how All Might’s out for the day, and that giving an inch will have them demanding a mile. Mic asks aside about how this is illegal, even villainous, wondering whether they can be blown away already. Eraserhead tells him to lay off on it, and that the media will write what they want either way. Better to just wait for the police.

Tenya tries to let the students know that there’s no danger, it’s just the media, but no one is listening because of their panic. Tenysa wonders where the teachers are, and if they’re all dealing with the press. He then notes Kirishima and Kaminari caught up in the crowds, and determines that no one knows that it’s a false alarm because of their panic. With a brief shriek, he’s alerted to Ochako being dragged away from him by the crowd (which how it took this long for that to happen is a wonder - maybe she’d been trying to fight her way to him through the crowds to stick together? Would make sense…)

I love this, because he already puts his admiration for Izuku - and his confidence in Izuku’s abilities to handle a crisis - at the same level as his brother. God, I love these three, they are the goodest of friends. <3

Tenya gets Ochako to use her quirk on him, their hands slapping together before Tenya leaps up above the crowds, losing his glasses in the process. (No wonder he has whole shelves if he loses or breaks them this often!) He thinks about what will get the crowds attention, eying the exit that everyone is trying to crowd out through. His shoes fall off as he tugs up his pant legs to unveil his engine thighs (which are fucking HUGE what the hell) and turns them on to boost himself across the room gracefully.

And by ‘gracefully’, I mean ‘not at all graceful’. Though I do wonder if this eventually gets turned into a super-move between Ochako and Tenya once he gets a better handle on momentum and angles for movement in zero g. 

(Oh, and turns out Izuku’s still alive, just stuffed deep inside the crowds. Guess the funeral is delayed a while longer, folks.)

Tenya grabs onto the pipe above the exit for stability, taking a moment to catch his breath and center himself before shouting out at the crowd. He thinks about how he needs to make his announcement short, concise, and bold, while out loud he tells everyone that everything’s fine. The crowd stops to stare and listen as Tenya explains that it’s just the press, and that there’s nothing to panic about. He goes on to chastise them a bit - this is UA! Behave like you belong there!

We fade out and to a bit later, when the police arrive and the reporters are driven away. Mic cheers as they’re gotten rid of.

Meanwhile, in class, Momo encourages Izuku to go ahead. Izuku is nervous as he explains about choosing other student council members, but that something else needs to happen first. He then says that he feels Tenya is better suited to be class president, picking up confidence as he focuses the class attention elsewhere. He explains how Tenya led everyone in the crisis, so he feels he’s the right choice for the job. Kirishima and Kaminari agree, hyping up Tenya’s actions more.

Aizawa tells them to get on with it with a glare. Izuku’s narration concludes that that was how Tenya became class president while Tenya stands up and says he’ll accept the job. The class jokingly cheers for ‘Exit Sign Iida’ (the first class meme, how sweet) while Izuku wonders how ‘they’ managed to… something. I’m guessing this is his own thoughts drifting to how the media got in, since that’s what we transition to right after.

(Also, Momo there sweating wondering if her position is safe.)

At the gate, we see Nedzu, Recovery Girl, Thirteen, and Midnight examining the damages done. Nedzu notes that no ordinary reporter could have managed this break-in. SOmeone else instigated this, but the question then becomes whether someone actually slipped inside, or if this is the start of some greater war.

And on that ominous note, we end chapter 12! Although I wonder why none of the reporters even stopped to question the destruction of the gate in favor of getting inside and demanding answers about All Might. Ah well, I don’t think the media in this series is exactly portrayed to be in any form accurate, so. :)

[ultraintrovertedgryffindor]

Not Alone - Peter Rumancek (Hemlock Grove) Part 1 of 2

*shrug* I was bored

~~~~~~~~~~

"Y/n! Y/N! Get the fuck back here!"

You ignored your father's shouting and kept running, as far away as you could not knowing where you were going. And until you didn't recognize where you were.

You eventually stopped running, leaning your hands on your knees, trying to catch your breath.

After you caught your breath, you looked around and only saw trees. Miles and miles of trees. 

You sighed heavily, frustrated that you didn't pay attention to your surroundings. But you couldn't help it, you just kinda blacked out once you got hyped up on fear that your father instilled in you.

After being called useless one too many times, you finally got the courage to defend yourself, but all that did was get you a smack in the face.

So you ran, and now…you were fucking lost.

You just walked through the dense forest, hoping that you'd reach a clearing eventually. But after walking for what felt like an hour, you started to lose hope.

You hated the woods, and of course out of any direction, you had to run towards the woods. Hearing all the breaking of branches and animal noises really didn't help. The only real light you had was the light from the full moon.

You've always been easily spooked, so it was no surprise to you when you almost screamed when you heard the muffled thumps of what sounded like footsteps.

You turned to look every which way, but it was so dark that all you could see were shadows.

The footsteps kept getting closer and closer, and you felt more and more helpless.

"Hello?" You shouted out, a stupid idea really but you didn't know what else to do.

Suddenly, you heard growling. You quickly turned around only to be thrown to the ground, pinned down by an unknown creature.

You quickly came back to reality to see who or what your attacker was.

You were face to face with a large black wolf. You tried you push it off, but the creature was so heavy. It's breath was heavy on your face, looking down on you, almost seeming angry.

You started to cry. You weren't ready to die, you had so much to experience in the world. You didn't wanna be mauled to death by this dumb animal who didn't know any better, yet here you were.

Another stupid idea you had was to beg for your life, although you knew the animal wouldn't understand. And yet, "please don't. I don't wanna die." You muttered out, already trying to accept death.

The wolf suddenly stopped growling and got off you, almost like it actually understood you. But you were grateful anyway.

You sat up and scooted away, wide eyed at the creature that could kill you. A sudden pain in your upper arm made you hiss. You looked to see claw marks, bleeding. "At least I'm not dead…yet." You chuckled breathlessly.

You looked back at the wolf who was watching you intensely, you noticed he kept looking back at your arm, like he was regretful. "It'll heal." You voiced, then laughed. "Ugh, why I am talking to you like you can understand. I must be going crazy."

The wolf whimpered.

"If I stand up, you're not gonna kill me right?"

The wolf backed away a few steps, bowing his head slightly.

You carefully stood up, still aware that this was a wild animal that you did not want to spook. You looked around once more, unable to get your bearings. "If only wolves could navigate, then I'd be all set." You joked.

The wolf only tilted in head in confusion.

"I ran into the woods, without really paying attention to where I was going. Of course, now I'm lost. Fuck me." You groaned and sighed. "I'm probably gonna die here. Great. Maybe it would've been better if you had killed me, wolf friend."

The wolf suddenly walked towards you, making you step back cautiously. The wolf stopped, it then lowered itself to the ground and slowly crawled to you.

It was like it was trying to gain your trust, it made you feel weird. Why would an animal do this?

The wolf slowly stood up, lifting up his head and started to lick your hand. "Well, I'm not sure if you're apologizing or just tasting before you dine. Either way, it's cute."

The wolf bit onto your long sleeve gently, pulling you in a direction. "God, this is weird. I'm actually letting a dog drag me to who the fuck knows."

Eventually, the wolf let go of your sleeve and kept walking, assuming that you'd follow him. You did. You had no idea where to go anyways, so why not follow a wolf?

After a few minutes of following after the wolf, you legs started to ache. The wolf would occasionally look back to see if you were still following.

It was kind of like a leap of faith, following after an animal that seemed like it had some sort of intelligence. "If I wasn't as smart as I am, I would actually believe you could understand everything that's happened tonight." You chuckled softly.

The wolf suddenly stopped, and you were afraid that your luck had finally run out.

The wolf upturned it's head. You followed it's gaze, it was looking at the moon that was going down. You didn't bring your phone with you, but you figured it was almost sunrise.

The wolf turned to you and started to whimper. You furrowed your brows when it didn't pounce on you like thought it would, but instead, it kept whimpering.

"What's wrong, bud?" You asked softly.

The wolf started to lower itself to the forest floor. You had no idea what was happening. The wolf then laid on its side.

"Oh, no, no. You're not dying, are you?" You asked nervously. "I need you to get me out of this damn forest!" You kneeled beside the animal, seeing that it was closing it's eyes. "Damn it, bud. I was starting to get emotionally attached."

You didn't know what to do now that your buddy as taken the forever nap. You just decided to sit there, your back to the wolf. You thought that it would just be easier to find your way out of the woods when the sun came up.

You didn't expect to fall asleep, but you did. The one thing that woke you up was suddenly hearing fleshy noises from behind you, that scared you enough to wake up.

You stood up and backed away from the wolf, who you realized was the culprit of those noises.

You mouth was agape as you watched piece after piece of the wolf come apart. "What the fuck?" You almost screamed when you saw a human come out of the wolf. "I must be tripping balls…" You muttered, slowly walking towards the human.

The closer you got, the closer you recognized who the naked human was. "Peter?"

The boy suddenly opened his eyes and bolted upright, looking around frantically before landing his eyes on you. "…what…the…fuck…"

Peter smiled nervously. "I, uh…I can explain."

"Uh, yeah. Please explain why you were just a fuckin wolf and now you're not! What the fuck?!" You rambled, starting to hyperventilate.

Peter stood up and walked over to you when he saw you were starting to freak out. He out his hands in your shoulders, trying to steady you. "Hey, hey, hey, Y/N. Chill out, okay. Deep breaths, come on." He spoke softly.

You took many deep breaths, hoping you that you were just dreaming somehow. But after a couple minutes, you finally calmed down. You definitely weren't dreaming.

You started to blush furiously when you briefly glanced down. "Oh my god, you're naked."

Peter chuckled. "You just noticed this?"

"Sorry, I guess I was too busy noticing you coming out of a fucking wolf."

"Well, come on. My house isn't that far away." Peter said, taking your hand and pulling you along with him.

"Uh, wait." You said, taking off your jacket and handing it over to the Rumancek boy. "Don't want your dick to get hypothermia." You joked, chuckling.

Peter chuckled and nodded gratefully. "Right. Thanks." He grabbed the jacket and wrapped it around himself.

"So, do you like remember everything when you were a wolf?" You asked.

Peter sighed. "Here come the questions." He mumbled under his breath. "Yup. Everything."

"Oh." You whispered.

"What were you doing out here anyway, huh?" Peter asked.

"Oh, uh. I told you…just ran into the woods." You tried to deflect.

"Nobody runs into the woods without a reason."

You sighed. "I…I was running away from my dad. He's not a nice man. That's all I'll say."

Peter turned to look at you briefly, but turned back. "Oh." Is all Peter said.

"Have you always been a wolf?"

"Enough with the questions." Peter snapped.

It only took a few more minutes to get to Peter's rundown single wide trailer. He took a table cloth off and wrapped it around himself, handing you back your jacket.

"Well, thanks for getting me out of the woods." You said, getting Peter's attention. "I can find my way home from here. Or…to an urgent care." You chuckled.

Peter sighed. "You can't."

You raised an eyebrow. "Excuse me?"

"Please, just stay here for today. There's...a lot to talk about now."

"If you're worried about me telling someone, I won't. I promise. I'm no snitch."

Peter sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. "It's not that!" He snapped, making you flinch. "Just come in. Lynda will patch you up."

You sighed. "Fine."

Upon entering his home, you saw Peter’s mother sitting on the couch. "Peter, who's this?" Lynda asked nervously.

"This is Y/N. She was in the woods. I thought she could be…you know. I…scratched her." Peter told her.

Lynda suddenly was wearing a face of deep concern. "It was just a scratch, Ms. Rumancek! It's not too bad." You voiced.

"You scratched her?" Lynda asked, a bit too loud.

You started to get nervous. "Jesus, guys, it's just a flesh wound."

Everyone in the room seemed to sigh in unison.

"Okay, can someone explain what the hell is going on?!" You yelled.

Lynda walked up to you. "Why don't you sit down, dear." She suggested. Her tone was sweet enough to persuade you. "Peter, get dressed please." She ordered.

After a minute later, Peter came back in some sweats and sat next to you, making you even more agitated. "Okay, now that everyone's here…please fuckin explain." You huffed.

"When I was out there," Peter started, “I caught the scent of something bad. I followed it, and it lead me to you. The scent was so close. I thought it must’ve been you. But when I...attacked you...the scent started to go away.”

"So, you attacked me for no reason...okay. That's fucked up."

"So, the reason I asked you to stay was…" Peter sighed.

"Tell her, Peter." Lynda said.

"I don't know how well you know about werewolves, but usually, it's said that if a wolf scratched you…you'd turn into one."

You gasped, unable to speak. There's no way. There's just no way. So you laughed, making everyone confused. "Nice prank. You almost got me there."

"This isn't some joke, Y/N. You saw me out in those woods." Peter said angrily, Lynda putting her hand on his arm to try and calm him.

"We just wanna help you now, Y/N." Peter sighed.

After giving it some thought, you decided. "You guys are fucking crazy. No way I'm stuck turning into an animal my whole life." You stood up and walked to the door. "You're secret is safe with me, Peter, but that is it. Sorry…"

You made sure to slam the door on your way out.

~~~~~~~~~~

[jcmorrigan]

001 - Tales of Zestiria?

Favorite character: It's a tough call between Maltran and Symonne, and Lunarre is trailing right behind both. I tend to call them the "Heldalf Squad," but make no mistake, Heldalf himself isn't part of it. I just like his swagalicious minions. The dry and sarcastic political manipulator, the sadistic and wordy theater nerd, and the flamboyant cannibal who hates everything. Yes. LOVE. But I have to give a shout to my boy Dezel on the hero side! Angsty/stoic characters are very hit-or-miss with me, but Dezel is the flavor I love - obvious soft spots and quirks, and slowly he builds from being antisocial to showing how big his heart is. When he stops the woman from leaping off the Guinevere tower...that's one of my favorite scenes in the entire game, because you can see when the switch flips, when he realizes that he CANNOT stay aloof any longer when there's a stranger's life on the line. He's still a grump about it but a compassionate grump.

Least Favorite character: Heldalf. His backstory is really clever, and I like the curse on him. But he himself just feels like Ganondorf but more boring. I kinda hate that he's so vanilla when his three lieutenants are in my arsenal of pet villains from the vastness of fiction. Also shout-out to Chancellor BART in the opening Ladylake act, because I distinctly remember liveblogging this to a friend, and I played Zestiria *after* Berseria (I'd loved Berseria and that's why I eventually sought out Zestiria) so here I am just comparing up the corrupt church in Ladylake to the Abbey's suave rogues gallery like "Yeah no BART has nothing on Lady Teresa Linares." Thankfully BART was never seen again.

5 Favorite ships (canon or non-canon): DezeRose, SorMik, Symonne x Coco Atarashi (The World Ends With You), Alisha Diphda x Sergei Strelka, and...I swear you have to bear with me here...Zaveid x Anna (Frozen). I also kinda wanna note a couple ships I'm on the fence about for my other favies - those being Maltran x Ebony Maw (Marvel Cinematic Universe or Marvel Ultimate Alliance) and Lunarre x Arkham (Devil May Cry).

Character I find most attractive: Dezel. It is a scientific fact that guys with pointy teeth are just hotter.

Character I would marry: Maybe Dezel, maybe Sergei. I wouldn't want to take them from those I see as their wifeys, but at the same time, they are husband goals, both of them.

Character I would be best friends with: Catch me clinging to Maltran's train and she drags me along annoyedly as I yell "PLEEEEAAASE LET ME HANG OUT WITH YOU GUYS" and Lunarre is losing it laughing while Symonne rolls her eyes

a random thought: So I toyed around with basically every accessory I picked up, and I decided to put the sideburns on Rose because fuck gender roles. Well then I just got used to seeing her with facial hair in every cutscene where her 3D model was used, and now I headcanon that she does get it. Maybe nonclassical CAH intersex? Like, I don't necessarily see her as trans (but I support everyone who hc's her as such) but moreso "a cis woman, but I grow this stupid damn facial hair like a dude and I don't get why." And this is why you shouldn't let me play with customizable accessories on RPG characters because I can and will abuse my privilege to headcanon.

An unpopular opinion: That this is actually a very good game. Listen, I think I get it - the initial marketing promised something far different. And that's disappointing. But coming back to it several years after its release, after the release of its PREQUEL, when I never had that hype building up...it actually exceeded my expectations. I held off from it for a while because I thought Eizen's fate would make me too sad, but that didn't end up the case at all. I actually had just come off playing a more recently-released triple-A game that was hyped up for years, and I completed it to my satisfaction in 20 hours. $80 for 20 hours. Zestiria gave me my money's worth in comparison; it took me about 60, and I loved just how MUCH story it had to offer me. I honestly like Rose better than Alisha anyway (Rose was one of the biggest aspects that interested me about playing it in the first place). I've also seen complaints that the characters weren't well-developed enough? Which I just kinda take to mean "They didn't angst enough." Listen. There are PLENTY of games out there if you want angst and sad stories. I don't really like sad stories in my games. I like adventures where the party is a goofy foundfam that jokes around with each other and helps each other work through shitty situations, and that's EXACTLY what I got. (And Berseria really worked on me too because it kinda started at the bottom of the angst barrel, then worked its way up through "The edgy and tortured protag has gained a party of idiots and oh noooooo she's learning friendship and happiness.") Dezel's death is one of the few game deaths that just made me SATISFIED to watch instead of depressed because of the closure he got and the themes tied into his final moments and sacrifice. I loved going on this adventure, I loved the idiots who I went on it with, and I loved seeing what Glenwood had to offer me in world design the further I explored.

my canon OTP: There's not much for canon romance in this game, come to think of it. Just subtext and some flirting. So I'm blanking on if there actually were any canon couples at all.

Non-canon OTP: DezeRose! Which maybe can be considered almost-canon based on the amount of subtext, but still. It's adorable. (And it's the exact same dynamic as EiRoku except M/F and a thousand years later. I need these four to double date...the dual-wielding goofs with their edgy, grumpy Reapers...)

most badass character: Rose! Not only able to wield the Shepherd's Armatization powers, but also to be a dang good assassin on her own, able to hold her own against Heldalf before she even had her eyes opened to seraphim! Though a shout-out goes to Edna because her armatization was my favorite to play with. There's something just satisfying about bashing the enemy in front of you with a pair of GIANT FISTS

pairing I am not a fan of: RoseAli. To be honest, it was at one point something I kinda enjoyed as a third-tier ship for Rose (Dezel first, then Lailah in second). But then...Alisha's Story. I didn't actually purchase it, thank goodness, just watched it on YouTube, and it was the most grating addition that anyone could've made to this game. First of all, I can sum up the issues with Alisha's Story by reminding everyone that it canonized a secret entrance to Camlann that was much easier to get to and wasn't protected by Muse's sacrifice. But the real thing that hurt to watch was how far down they had to knock Rose and Alisha's friendship to get them to rebuild from scratch. Rose claiming she was never Alisha's friend because she's grieving Sorey? The two of them getting into a PHYSICAL FISTFIGHT over it? Nope nope nope. That's not my Rose. Even less my Rose is that whole scene where she...you know...pounces on Alisha to dress her in the silly noblewoman's dress, and it's framed like...let's just say it's really uncomfortable to watch if you don't know the punchline is just a silly outfit. Even though Alisha's Story isn't canon in my head, it still really killed any buzz I had for RoseAli. I will also say I'm not a big fan of Eizavie - first of all, EiRoku or bust in this house, and second, I have a little bit of a hard time seeing Zaveid as mlm due to how much he goes on and on about The Ladies(TM). (Though I could see Eizen as having a tiny crush on him, though. Just like "Oh no he's hot but he's connected to Aifread's disappearance help")

character I feel the writers screwed up (in one way or another): Mostly just in Alisha's Story. I was mad about the aforementioned Rose stuff, but also...like...they undid Lunarre's original cathartic death, they did so to team him back up with Symonne and then do a whole fakeout that they had Maltran with them too, but Maltran is just an illusion and immediately after this, Lunarre and Symonne just decide "Yeah, we're not gonna work together anymore, have a nice life." Why does Maltran need to stay dead if LUNARRE somehow survived EXPLODING? And just...look to next question for more clarification:

favourite friendship: I just want to imagine that Maltran, Lunarre, and Symonne were weird evil friends. The kind who'd take artistic selfies and caption them "Murder and mayhem with my besties!". Maybe they even had a sibling dynamic. They were all pretty dang jaded, so I like to think they sat around sometimes talking about the things in this world that did them wrong. The reasons they were drawn to Heldalf. Heldalf himself wouldn't have cared, he would've kicked them around like disposable tools, but the three of them were too entrenched in his dogma to see it. Maybe if they met up again after he was off the board...then they'd sing a different tune. Realize they're all three better than this, and now they're gonna do things THEIR way, because remember when they made a three-point attack on Glenwood and Sorey was barely able to keep up with them wrecking Lastonbell AND Pendrago AND Glaivend? Remember when Lunarre and Symonne had each other's backs the night Dezel died? Now they can do what they want on their terms! And I just - I have many MANY feelings about these three.

character I want to adopt or be adopted by: Okay silly self-insert time but the thing is, Archibald Snatcher (The Boxtrolls) and Roman Torchwick (RWBY) are my two favorite parental f/o's (and also my OTP to end all OTPs), and I have this thing about how they'd be PERFECT crime dads to Symonne in particular because she's like a little, more theatrical Neopolitan. So there's a universe in my head where Symonne is basically already my little sister, and I look out for her - well, okay, she's a seraph with powerful Artes and I am a powerless mortal so really she looks out for me because "I suppose SOMEONE has to make sure you don't die" and I am grateful to her for it.

[berrykookie]

Guilty Pleasures - Part 1

Genre: Fluff | Angst | Smut

Word Count: 4.7k

A/N: Here goes the first chapter. Look forward to more and please leave feedback. Happy reading :)

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader x Taehyung

“Y/N, I promise you even you’d fall head over heels for him at first sight! Oh god, how is he so handsome!!” Minji was already drooling over the so called God-like Jeon Jungkook, and was way too persistent for you to refuse so you agreed. You had obviously heard about him, seen him, but never actually gave him even half of the attention that everyone thought he deserved.

Jungkook was the captain of the school basketball team, and had helped the team win a number of games. You weren’t surprised when you saw his finely built chest and back muscles through his tank top. He had to be fit. He was an athlete, after all. It was when he started playing that you couldn’t take your eyes off him.

The way his muscles flexed when he ran; the way his sweaty hair stuck to his forehead, and the way the corners of his lips turned up a little when he scored a basket. And not to forget the sweat drenched white tank top that clung to him as he stood on the court, a little out of breath. You were coming to terms with all the hype. You were beginning to understand that it was not only about his looks, it was about the way he did things. Oh! But you didn’t fall head over heels for this guy.

It was after that match that you were always in the audience, watching him work his magic in the game and on the people. It was on your third time that your eyes met. He had just scored a basket and was standing there with that attractive smile of his when his eyes fell upon you. You found yourself dumbfounded for a reason at that time. You were just staring at him, expressionless. Beside you, Minji was shaking your arm, almost shouting, “Y/N, he’s looking at youuuuu!” Jungkook just smirked and looked away.

Not only did you make yourself look like every other girl that ran after Jungkook, Minji confirmed it for him. You were faced with this urge to scream, for you never wanted Jungkook to think that you wanted to be with him, just like every other girl and boost up his ego. Damn it! But there was nothing you could do about it.. I’m gonna let this pass...as if he would have even noticed, you thought to yourself and it actually gave you some relief.

You carried on with school normally, attending your classes and stopped going to the basketball matches. Prevention is better than cure, isn’t it? Things were smooth, until one day you came face to face Jungkook. He was a senior to you, so you obviously didn’t have the advantage of sharing any classes with him to know each other as friends.

Having him in front of you all of a sudden had your blood rushing to your cheeks. You decided to ignore him, walking past him like you always did. But as you stepped to your right, he stepped in front of you, standing tall and broad in your face. You made another attempt and stepped to the left side, but only in vain. He just wouldn’t let go.

“Aren’t you Y/N?” he asked in that oh-so-beautiful voice. No Y/N, you couldn’t fall for that!

“Yes. You are?” you instantly regretted the words that left your mind. Why couldn’t you just hold your tongue? It was very simply digging your own grave.

He gave a soft laugh; a laugh you knew contained mockery. “I’m Jeon Jungkook. Why don’t you come to the matches anymore?” he asked straightforwardly.

He knew, you thought, he knew and he saw and he remembered.

“Why do you ask?” you were not going to let your confidence die.

“Never mind.” He said and walked away. Did you take it a little too far? Well, what does that matter? You shrugged and walked to your class.

All the girls were looking at you when you entered. And then suddenly Minji leaped up. “What was he talking about, Y/N?” She was having difficulties containing her excitement.

“Don’t be crazy, Minji. It was nothing.” You friendly shoved her away and found yourself a seat. But that little thing wouldn’t stop bothering you. She kept on asking question about what he said, what he looked like from up close, and even what he smelled like. Ugh. Why did they find him this hard to resist?

As days rolled by, you sometimes went to see the matches, sometimes you didn’t. But every time you were there, Jungkook was able to spot you, and he would smile ever so lightly to himself. You couldn’t tell what he was thinking about.

As time passed, you saw more of Jungkook here and there, and every time he came across you he’d throw a little smile in your direction. It pleased the eyes, yet didn’t look like he was trying hard. How could he be so perfect when dealing with things? He knew just the right things and the right ways to do them. But you weren’t going to fall, even though you knew it gave you butterflies.

Jungkook didn’t seem romantic in the slightest ways. That was what displeased you the most. He always seemed the kind that found it too easy to dump someone. But you weren’t worried. It wasn’t like you were going to be one of them.

You and Jungkook were like friends that were aware of each other’s presence around, who passed smiles to each other whenever they met. You started going to all the matches with Minji. You cheered for him and he smiled at you, making some girls a little jealous.

It wasn’t long before things proceeded. Minji always told you how Jungkook searched for you in the crowd when you weren’t there to watch him. And no matter how much you tried it always made your heart flutter, and your stomach to turn upside down. You didn’t want to even say to where it might be leading. To fall for Jungkook was like swallowing poison, knowingly.

But it was proving difficult to stay away. Jungkook once asked you to stay back after the match. He sat so close your heart leaped out. He made you nervous and he knew it.

On the other hand, Minji wasn’t making things any easier for you. The more you tried to avoid talking about him, so that his thought would be out of your mind, the more she poked and asked what you two did after the match was over.

You couldn’t deny: Jungkook was attractive; he had ways of impressing people. One glance from him was enough to make a girl go mad.

You two were growing closer with time. You’d sit together and sometimes you even ate together. And it burned you to the core when he roamed around with other girls, his hand across their shoulders. You couldn’t understand what he felt towards you or what he wanted from you. Sometimes you felt like you were special, other times you felt like you were just another girl he went around with. But you thought against voicing it out. You’d grown too fond of him to scare him away with the fact that you felt something more than just friendship.

It was a summer morning when everything took a different turn. Jungkook had a match in the afternoon and you were sitting with him when a girl approached. The smile that took over Jungkook’s face made it obvious that he knew her. Not only that, she seemed close. He got up, hugged her, which immediately made you stomach churn. You didn’t want to witness this scene. And as soon as you decided to get up and leave, you saw the girl reaching and whispering something in his ear. It wasn’t that she said something, it was the proximity and the way her lips almost touched his skin.

You couldn’t bear that. You were already walking away when Jungkook called your name. You stopped but didn’t turn around to face him. You were afraid your face would give it away. You were still not sure about how you felt. You didn’t love him, you knew that, but he wasn’t just a friend either.

“What’s wrong?” he asked as he jogged up to you.

“Nothing, I’ll see you later.” You said and walked brusquely towards the cafeteria. Half of you wished he’d come after you, but the other half was relieved he didn’t.

You sat there, taking some time for yourself and trying to figure out what was happening. You were sure you didn’t like when other girls got too close to him, and what happened today was even more unbearable. You always wanted to think of Jungkook as the guy everyone liked but he wasn’t supposed to mean anything to you, let alone the person you were catching feelings for.

You knew he wasn’t the kind of person who dwelled in feelings. For him, people came and people went away, and then new people came.

You decided to skip on today’s match. You went home early so that Jungkook wouldn’t be able to find you either. And then you asked yourself if you were one of those people he’d look around for. Were you actually someone who meant something? Were you the only one feeling something among the two of you? As much as you wanted to push those thoughts aside, deep down you knew, what it was like for both you and for Jungkook.

The next day, Jungkook acted normally. So he didn’t make anything out of your absence, looking for you was a far cry. It would be fair to say that a part of you was shattered. You had expected too much out of him. He greeted you with a light smile as he always did and walked passed. And you were left standing there looking at his back like every other girl who went crazy just getting a whiff off of him. But you were not one of those hopeless girls. So you turned around and walked to your class with a strange sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach.

You tried to remain calm and decided to go with the flow. You were jumping to conclusions too quickly. You needed time to yourself to think and understand how exactly things were.

It was two days later that you found out where exactly you stood. Jungkook didn’t make the slightest bit of efforts to talk to you. Just that smile of his whenever you two saw each other. He didn’t even stop you to ask you why you weren’t coming to his matches like he did the first time. You were getting angry. Did he take everybody for granted? What made you even more frustrated was the fact that more than half of the times he was with a girl, who was too close to him for your poor heart’s comfort. You couldn’t push aside the uneasy feeling inside you. He had no right to treat you like that.

You wanted to make him see that you were upset with him. So you ignored him every time he smiled at you walked past him like you didn’t know him. That was what you used to do earlier. But it seemed to have little impact on him. He didn’t seem to be bothered. You were expecting him to come and talk to you, but what happened next was devastating. It was the last straw to drive you mad. Jungkook not only stopped passing those smiles towards you, he entirely stopped acknowledging you. As much as it hurt your feelings, your pride was shattered to pieces.

That was it. You needed to talk to him. But you had to wait for two days. The best option for you was to stop him after he was done with his match and talk to him rather that stopping him midway in the corridor and risking being ignored. You also needed to make up your mind as to what to say to him.

Two days later you found yourself on the court, watching everything blankly. You just wanted for it to get over as soon as possible. As Jungkook’s team scored one more basket towards the end, they won by four points. Now is the time Y/N, you told yourself.

As the match came to an end and people left the court, you waited at the back gate where the players left from. Jungkook was the last one to come, with a towel hanging on one of his shoulders. Your heart was caught up in your throat at this sight of him. You just wanted to admire him but then you remembered what you’d come for.

“I need to talk to you.” you straightforwardly stated, surprised at the stability of your own voice.

“About what?” he was unfazed and least bothered.

“Can we go to the field and talk?” you asked, not showing how your heart was starting to break seeing his attitude towards you.

“Alright,” he said and led the way.

“What is wrong with you?” you asked him without wasting any time, maybe because you thought you might change your mind. You had to get done with it no matter what. He couldn’t keep you hanging like that. Or was it just you who thought he had left you hanging? You immediately brushed the thought away.

“Are you sure it’s coming from the right person?” he shot back.

“What do you mean?” you enquired, feeling a little baffled.

“I mean that it’s me who should be asking all this. It’s you who suddenly disappeared. Not me!” he exclaimed. His tone was harsh, and offending.

“What else did you expect me to do?” your voice was a little shaky, but you told yourself to be calm and stable.

“About what, Y/N?” he asked, and genuinely seemed unaware of what you were talking about.

“About that girl who came up to you that day you were with me and the way she behaved? Why can’t you see things?” you let out in one go.

“What are you even talking about?” he was starting to give a look of annoyance, as if everything that you said seemed foreign to him.

“What I am talking about, Jeon Jungkook is that I didn’t like how close she was getting to you!” your voice was a pitch higher, showing how irritated you were.

“And who exactly do you think you are to be bothered by that, Y/N?” Jungkook folded his arms as he coldly asked you. You felt timid.

“Jungkook...” oh god. It was coming to it. You couldn’t keep it inside any longer.

“What?” he asked, still annoyed and seemingly not at all entertained by this discussion.

“Is there nothing different between us?” you asked him in a low voice.

“Why do you think there would be?” he looked disgusted, and your heart sank.

“Because I like you, and I thought you liked me too! Why else would you look for me in the crowd when I wasn’t there? Or-or sit with me and talk before the matches? Throw all those smiles of yours at me in school?” you asked him with a sob. You still wanted and expected him to comfort you and tell you something which would lift your spirits. Instead...

“Y/N seriously?” Jungkook said with a hint of laughter and you froze there as a tear fell down your cheek. You hopes were crushed, and everything you felt was insulted. It couldn’t have ended in a way worse than this. The feeling in the pit of your stomach became even more intense as you realised that what you thought to be your little romantic venture was simply a way of passing time for him. Flashing you smiles was a part of his cocky nature and didn’t have any special meaning. You realised that whatever Minji had told you was easily an exaggerated version and a result of her excitement, and that you’ve made a fool of yourself in front of this guy.

You didn’t respond to him anymore. You just stood there and watched him give a little laugh.

“Seriously, you know, I thought you were different. I thought we were to be friends. But god you are just like all of them.”

“Jungkook, no...” you wanted to tell him that you were indeed different.

“Oh I’m done with these tears and all. What a sad mess you’ve created for yourself.” He mocked your emotions and turned around, ready to walk away.

“Listen, Jungkook, wait...” you tried to stop him even when you knew you’d curse yourself later for giving away the last ounce of pride in you.

“What? Wait for what- for you to cry more tears and ask me to reconsider? Oh no, Y/N. I  can’t. I’m not the type of person you’ve taken me for.” He laughed again

You were a mess. Even if you knew you had called it upon yourself, you couldn’t stop blaming Jungkook for his behaviour. You were hanging by a very thin thread of sanity at the point. You didn’t know how long it would hold you from the drop into the seemingly endless pit of sadness, anxiety and a sick feeling in your gut.

You went back to Minji and she was able to tell that something was wrong for very obvious reasons. But you refrained from telling her anything. She was a friend, but you needed your time.

It was news in an instant. You were the new joke, the idiot girl who fell for Jungkook, thinking he felt something for you too. Could it be any more hilarious?

Days were feeling like months at school. Every face seemed to look at you with menace, the menace of brainlessness, of high hopes, of aiming at something out of your reach. You wanted for the ground to open up and swallow you whole. You just couldn’t bear with it. You could skip school, but for how long? Jungkook would be there when you come back. He would still be there and pass by you and ignore you like the trash he had just taken out.

What have you done to yourself? What kind of sick disease was Jungkook- indescribable and incurable?

The menace and sinking feeling was developing into something more intense. You were starting to have social anxiety. The sight of people wanted to make you cry. You imagined them laughing and pointing fingers at you even before it happened, if it happened at all. You started staying by yourself. You didn’t let Minji in either. You were growing distant and you couldn’t do anything about it. You just didn’t want to do anything except keeping yourself involved in studies, sleeping and wishing you could stay home all day.

It was just another day at school when you were assigned some group projects. You were with Taehyung and Minji. Taehyung was the ace of the class. He attended every class, answered every question and was everyone’s favourite. You haven’t talked to him before except a few times when you had asked for notes for the lectures you’d missed. It would be just okay, you thought.

You guys worked hard for a week and almost finished the project when Minji decided to take a day off. So it was just you and Taehyung. Your mum had brought some snacks for you to take a break. You were thoughtlessly sipping your juice when Taehyung cleared his throat.

“Do you mind if I ask you something, Y/N?” he asked suddenly.

“Yes, sure.” you shrugged.

“What is wrong? You are so quiet these days. You don’t smile anymore.” He simply asked. But it felt like he was rubbing everything in your face. The sudden urge to scream and cry was so strong you almost drew blood from your lip after biting on it so hard. You were fuming. How could he not know? Has he come from somewhere else? Does he not know what happens in the school? Your anger was way past your control.

“Is this some kind of a joke for you?” you nearly shouted.

“No! I’m sorr-”

“Shut up, Taehyung! I know how funny it must be for you guys!” You bit your lip as tears rimmed your eyes. Taehyung flinched, but you couldn’t see anything except a smudged image of your room.

“I’m sorry, Y/N,”

“Nobody is sorry! Everybody’s just found something new to laugh at!” you cried.

“It’s not like that-“

“Please leave, Taehyung. I want to be alone. Let’s complete this some other time.” You gained some composure and tried your best to sound polite. He just stood up, collected his things and left; without another word.

You cried wrapped in your sheets and felt somewhat guilty for shooing Taehyung away like that. He was just asking.  But then how could he not know! Everybody did! EVERY FUCKING BODY KNEW WHAT AN IDIOT YOU WERE!

The next day at school was pretty awkward for you and Taehyung. And it wasn’t surprising when he said that he wouldn’t be able to show up today...and now that the major work was done and only the last tit-bits were left, maybe you and Minji could carry forward from there. It was normal for him, for you had behaved in the most impolite way with him. You wanted to apologise but you were too ashamed to even look him in the eye. So you just nodded.

When Minji came over that evening, you told her everything from what happened with Jungkook to what happened the last evening. She was surprisingly supportive and attentive. She soothed you and you thought maybe you should have told her earlier.

Once the project was finished, only the presentation part was left and that was still left to be worked out. That means you’d have to talk to Taehyung.

You asked Minji to tell him and he agreed to come over at your place that evening. Things seemed back to normal, and it seemed he had forgotten what all happened. He made you feel comfortable and was very considerate about the words he spoke. The gesture not only touched you, it made you feel less lonely and less miserable. You cheeks hurt when you smiled for it had been so long. You apologised to Taehyung for what happened the last time and he replied in the most gentle and tender way possible.

Taehyung and Minji were the only two sources of support and happiness you were left with. They had literally pulled you out of the state where you did not even feel like getting out of bed. They’d pick you up for school and would keep you company throughout the day. They didn’t leave you alone for a second while you got over Jungkook. Your bond with Taehyung also grew with time. The three of you would hang out at each other’s place and school finally stopped looking like a nightmare with them by your side.

Time passed and you three were inseparable. Even though looking at Jungkook still hurt, it wasn’t something that jabbed at your heart anymore. You were doing just fine. And you knew his presence would mean nothing at all to you in the coming time.

It was one such day when you were at Taehyung’s place, waiting for Minji to come. Taehyung had just gone to wash up and you were looking through some of the picture frames on his desk. You picked up one with a naked child and giggled before something interrupted you.

“Ahhem,” it was Taehyung, looking at the frame in your hand, with a shy smile playing on his lips. But you were not looking at the frame anymore. Something unexpected had caught your attention, for Taehyung was standing there shirtless with just a towel hanging around his neck. Your face was starting to burn at the sight of him but you couldn’t take your eyes of him. His shoulders were broad, his chest solid and his arms muscled. You could see the veins protruding on his forearm and you realised you’d never imagined what Taehyung looked like beneath his basic everyday clothing. Or maybe you always thought that being the ace of the class and handsome at the same time wasn’t possible.  It took him a while to notice what had made you so distracted.

“Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t realise,” he quickly picked up a shirt and threw his over his head.

“Huh, w-what?” your words came out airy. It was only when he was dressed that you could think properly.

He walked towards you and as he took the frame out of your hand you couldn’t help but drool over how good he smelled. How did you never notice all this before? Well, nobody was to blame for your mind was always clouded with Jungkook until a few weeks ago.

The vibration of you phone in your pocket interrupted the chain of your thoughts. You wondered what was happening with you. It was all new, all over again.

It was Minji calling.

“Hello?” you answered.

“Y/N? I don’t think I can be there today. Mom wants to go shopping and I am not sure I’m gonna say no, hihi!” she giggled and you laughed too.

“That’s okay. I am already here but I’ll leave in a while too. See you.” You disconnected the call and turned to Taehyung.

“She won’t be able to make it. I guess I’ll get going too.” you told him.

“What?” he exclaimed, “But you just arrived. Stay for a while and then I’ll walk you home?” he asked gently.

“Alright, okay.” You shrugged. It wasn’t anything new, hanging out with him but it felt weird now. Your stomach was twisting and turning at the thought of what you saw earlier and you weren’t sure how long you’d be able to hide it.

“What do you want to do?” he asked.

“Umm, let’s watch a movie?”

“Perfect,” he chimed.

You started to set up his TV as Taehyung went downstairs to get some snacks. By the time he came back, you were already sitting on the sofa with a blanket over your legs and the remote in your hand.

You patted the spot beside you and he was there in a second.

“The remote?”He asked.

“Here,” you waved it in your hand.

“No, I mean give it to me,” he said.

“Why?” you raised an eyebrow.

“Because I’m asking,” he whispered authoritatively. But it was doing something else to you. Heat travelled from your core to your ears as you looked at him.

“No! I’ll choose what to watch,” you had to try to keep your voice casual. What was happening to you?

“You’ll make me watch marvel again,” he complained. “I want to see something new.”

“Well, let’s see about it,” you shrugged and you were already browsing through the movies. But Taehyung wasn’t having it anymore. He dived in your direction to grab a hold of your hand but you were already aware of all his limited moves. You moved your hand away before he could get you and he lost his balance, falling forward of the couch as he took you with him.

You blinked twice before you saw his face mere inches away from you, body over yours as he supported himself with a hand. Your breath stopped in your throat as you observed his face from up close. Your eyes travelled from his forehead to his eyes and you gasped internally when he held your gaze. You instantly looked away for it was too much pressure on your heart.

Taehyung might have understood as he cleared his throat before he got up and sheepishly scratched the back of his head.

“I’m sorry,” he said without meeting your eyes.

“Its o-okay,” your head was burning. Your thoughts weren’t clear. All you could think about was how he looked at you and what it felt like to be under him. “I’ll better get going. It’s getting late.”

“I’ll walk you,” he got up. But you stopped him. You couldn’t be in his presence right now. You needed time to clear your head.

“No it’s alright. It’s not that late, anyway.”

“You sure?” he asked seriously. Here, he was looking at you again. Breathing seemed like such a task right now.

You nodded in response. You weren’t sure if your voice would come out like a mere squeak.

“I’ll see you tomorrow then,” he smiled at you as walked you to the door.

“Yeah,” was all that you could get out right now. Oh God, what in the world was Taehyung doing to you?

[faulty-writes]

Marriage Proposal With ...

All Might - Toshinori

All Might was and will always be the iconic symbol of justice, known as one of the most powerful Pro Heroes in history and God did you love him. 

Growing up, you were nothing short of a dedicated fan. You had every possible piece of All Might Merchandise you could get your hands on. Including the very rare All Might Onesie, luckily it came in adult size and you still wore it from time to time. 

When All Might started as a Pro Teacher, you nearly fainted. You were at the beginning of your third year and you wanted nothing more than to get close to the Hero you had been idolizing your whole life. 

He first took notice of you when you were training, you had always pushed yourself to the limit. It meant everything to you to be a great hero like All Might. 

And when he complimented your quirk skills, you felt like you were over the moon. 

It had only gotten better after you graduated, quickly becoming recognized as one of the best upcoming heroes on the scene, next to Deku. 

Of course, it got All Might interested in you. In fact, he had surprised you with a couple visits to your agency. 

On occasion he’d take you out to eat, the conversations you had never seemed to end. You could talk about anything and you had even shared a few things involving your All Might Collection. 

It was a funny thing, how close you two got. Of course, there was the trouble with media. Pictures of you two out to dinner or sharing a walk soon appeared all over social media. 

It was overwhelming at first and though All MIght felt guilty, he assured you it was normal. Relationships between heroes were difficult, especially yours seeing as you were a former student of All MIght.

But after a while, the media seemed to fade and you could actually enjoy your relationship without worrying about the hype. 

Still, the media had a point. It had been years since the retired hero All Might had a special someone. It made you wonder why he had never found someone to settle down with.

Being a hero consumed a lot of your time, your life was dedicated to saving others, putting them ahead of yourself. But even so, love could happen if you wanted it bad enough. 

Despite the fact that there was a large age gap between Toshinori and yourself. It never stopped you from giving him all your love which he gladly returned. 

You were thankful for every moment you had together, especially when Toshinori offered you to move in with him. Never had you been happier and leaped at the chance. 

Your relationship was bliss and you couldn’t ask for more or so you thought. 

Toshinori had been acting strange lately and you were beginning to worry, it was unlike him. So did you do something to cause this or was he growing tired of your relationship? 

He was sneaking out of the house, staying out for hours, only to come home acting nervous. It was suspicious and you were quickly growing tired of it. 

You made the choice to confront him, a hero should never lie or use anyone and you’d be damned if you were going to be anyone’s plaything. 

Deciding to wait for Toshinori’s return, you sat on the couch. Arms crossed with an angry scowl on your face. Your foot impatiently tapping against the floor, waiting for the door to open. 

Once you heard that familiar click, you quickly stood on your feet, promptly marching over to Toshinori. Something that made him jump in surprise. “Ah y-young y/n I thought you were asleep!” You narrowed your eyes as he looked back and forth, obviously close to a nervous panic. 

You huffed. “Yeah, I bet you thought I was asleep! But I’m onto you Toshinori! Sneaking out and acting secretive ...d-do you think I’m stupid!?” You growled, pointing your finger up at him. 

You watched his eyes widen and he shook his head, his messy blond hair bouncing everywhere. “I ...I never said you were y/n! Please what brought such harsh accusations up?” 

Lowering your finger, you sighed. “The fact that you’ve been acting nervous around me, hiding your phone, going out for hours and when you come back home you always avoid me! What’s going on ...d-did you ...did you find someone else? Is that it?!” The words left your mouth with a hiss, your eyes threatening to spill over. 

“W-What!?” Toshinori looked like he was about to faint, his jaw hanging as low as it could possibly get. He started shaking his head, “You have the wrong idea!” He exclaimed before gently taking your hands. 

“I have no desire to seek another out! y/n, you are the only I could wish to have. You have given me what I never knew I was missing and I would never give that up ...” 

Damn those words. You felt your anger disappear. “Then what have you been doing Toshinori? During all the time in our relationship, you’ve never acted like this. So why now?” You frowned, looking at the man, the hero you had always loved. 

You watched his eyes glance to the side before he removed one hand and reached into his pocket. Obviously searching for something, which made you tilt your head. What the hell was he doing? 

You decided to keep quiet and waited until he pulled his hand back out. “What ...is that?” You questioned, obviously curious about what such a tiny little box could hold and just what the hell it had to do with the way he’s been acting. 

Toshinori sighed and dropped your hands, cradling the box in his palms. “My dear y/n, maybe I should have been honest from the beginning.” You blinked, wait a minute. 

He clenched the small box in his hand. “You went from being quite the impressive student to someone I, in turn, admired and from there, someone I grew to love. Someone I want by my side always. I know it might be fast and I am unsure if you want to marry this old man but ...it’s worth a shot.” You watched his shoulders slump as he opened the box.  

His fingers taking out that golden band and from what you could see, it had an impressive diamond on it. “The reason I’ve been acting strange lately is because ...even I have to find courage sometimes. I was debating about doing this, buying you this ring.’ 

He took your hand, easing the band onto your finger. It felt heavy but looked beautiful nonetheless. You found yourself staring at it, jaw dropped. “Forgive me y/n I did not know my actions hurt you, but please accept this ring regardless of your answer. Though I do wish ...you would say yes to my proposal.” 

You swallowed, tilting your hand. The diamond sparkled in and deep down, you felt guilty for thinking so ill of Toshinori, of course, he wouldn’t do anything to hurt you. 

You felt a frown come and looked at the hero in front of you. Taking in that expression he was wearing, that small hint of fear in his eyes didn’t go unnoticed. 

You took a breath, “I’ll ...only say yes if you promise me something.” You watched Toshinori’s face light up with curiosity, but a smile was tugging at his lips. “Yes y/n, anything!” 

You smiled in return and moved closer, wrapping your arms around his lanky neck. “You have to promise that I can make it up to you, I shouldn’t have doubted you. I know you’d never hurt me.” You chuckled and nuzzled your face against Toshinori’s chest. 

You heard him laugh softly and wrap an arm around you. “You make me very happy y/n. I cannot wait to marry you.” 

[blightarts]

Blades of Order & Chaos

Chapter Title: 8 - Rival

Previous Chapter: Lion VS Bear

Word Count: 5239

Disclaimer: All rights belong to Pixelberry. This is my version for the upcoming sequel of Blades of Light & Shadow. I am not claiming this to be the canon story of the book. This is only written to increase the hype for the actual sequel.

MC/Pairing: Kite (Blue Elf Male MC) / Kite x Nia

Taglist: @princessstellaris​ @mechaspirit​ @brightningstar​ @cal-north​ @lxdy-starfury​ @tyrils-star​ @imturaxamara​ @kelseaaa​

In the middle of the Vishanti Kingdom market square, Kade comes face to face with the former prince of Morella, Aerin Valleros. While Threep glares along with Kade, Kite and Bella are left confused.

Kite: Kade, is this person a danger to us?

Aerin scoffs.

Aerin: I’m hurt, Kite. After a year of not seeing each other, you’ve forgotten all about me?

Kade: Kite lost his memories.

The prince raises his eyebrow.

Aerin: Oh? That’s quite unfortunate.

Bella steps up.

Bella: Hold on. Is there some romantic tension that I’m not gettin’ here?

Threep: This young man is Aerin Valleros, prince of Morella, who betrayed his people and aided the Shadow Court in their return.

Bella tenses up upon hearing the words, “Shadow Court”, but composes herself before walking up to Aerin and grabbing his collar.

Bella: So, this li’l fella is a problem to you guys then? Should we throw him off the mountain?

Aerin chuckles and sarcastically raises his hands in defeat.

Aerin: Easy, easy. I’m not even showing any hostility towards any of you… yet.

Kade: What are you doing here? How’d you even survive the Empire’s attack on Whitetower, let alone escaped your prison cell? Did they let you out and got you a spot in their ranks?

Aerin: What’s in it for me if I tell you?

Bella: We don’t let gravity decide your fate.

Aerin rolls his eyes and shrugs.

Aerin: Alright, fair enough.

Bella lets go of Aerin as he dusts himself off.

Aerin: A year ago, after you lot had your first encounter with that coward, Laundsellyn, he took me from my cell and dragged me into the Shadow Realm.

The prince then turns around for a stroll, signaling the party to follow him.

Aerin: After that, I thought I was done serving jail time, but no, they threw me into another cell for my failures in defeating you.

Kade: Well, it serves you right for joining the wrong side.

Aerin ignores Kade’s rude comment.

Aerin: I stayed in that cell for about three months and during that time, I’ve heard from one of the Shadow Guards that once served under me, mocking me and laughing about the news that Laundsellyn killed my father.

Kite notices Aerin clenching his fists in anger.

Aerin: Upon hearing my father’s name, visions began to clutter my mind, visions of the past that I cannot even recall, visions of me… and my brother, Baldur… actually getting along during our childhood…

Threep: I thought you two were at odds with each other until you plunged the Blade of Shadows unto him.

Aerin: That’s what I thought as well. For years, I believed that my brother had always been a condescending jerk who treats people who are beneath him as insects. But no, my memories proved that to be wrong as when we were young, he offered me to be his right-hand man, his closest advisor once he becomes king.

Kade: So, what you’re saying is that the Dreadlord somehow manipulated your memories, as well as Baldur’s in order to tear yourselves apart and use one of you as a puppet?

As the party nears the kingdom’s gates, Aerin stops walking.

Aerin: I don’t know. That’s what I intend to find out.

The prince moves forward once more.

Aerin: I spent my three months in solitary, recalling my memories and struggling from countless headaches, but I could not make any progress whatsoever. And then… he came along, Ignis…

Shivers run up everyone’s spines while Aerin clutches his chest.

Aerin: He visited my cell and “offered” me to join his ranks in exchange for my freedom.

Kade: Well, seeing you here right now means that you’ve obviously said yes.

Aerin turns to Kade with rage.

Aerin: I was not even able to give an answer!

Kade flinches as Kite gets between him and Aerin. Citizens begin to stare at the party.

Aerin: I was dragged out of my cell before that accursed devil casted a spell…

Aerin then tears open his shirt, revealing a Nerada Stone still etched onto its chest while small purple sparks surge through it.

Aerin: …on this damned thing, making sure that I get in line and follow the orders of the elf that killed my father, else I get electrocuted to death!

The prince then grips his hair as he starts to lose it.

Aerin: After that I was worked to the bone, slaughtering innocent people who refused to bend to the Empire and conquering peaceful lands across Morella, all while suffering from the headaches caused by those visions and the shocking pain that this stupid stone keeps bringing unto me!

Aerin then grabs Kite by the collar. Bella grabs onto one of Aerin’s arms.

Bella: Hey! No bright ideas, royal boy!

Aerin: How do you even live while you’re suffering like this, Kite?! After everything you’ve been through, being betrayed, being separated from those you love, being beaten to a pulp, and having your memories lost! How are you still moving forward?!

Kite is speechless while Aerin keeps rambling in tears.

Aerin: I’ve thrown it all away… I’ve surrendered myself to darkness… I’ve betrayed the people who once saw me as their friend… I’ve let my own father die under the hands of the elf I now work for… I’ve killed my own brother all because a dark entity severed our bonds and manipulated our memories…

Threep leans in on Kite’s ears and whispers.

Threep: We should leave quickly. Everyone has their eyes on us.

Aerin: The nesper is right.

Aerin sniffs and wipes his tears before letting Kite go.

Aerin: This should not be settled by just words.

He turns away.

Aerin: Meet me outside of town.

Aerin then walks off while buttoning up his shirt. The crowd avert their eyes from the group as the tension dies down.

Bella: Jeez, that was one helluva ride.

Kade: We can’t let him get away.

Threep: I believe that he wants to settle things with Kite through combat.

Kite watches as Aerin disappears into the crowd.

Kite: I’ll do it.

The party look at Kite with surprise.

Kade: What?! You do know it’s a trap!

Bella: Yeah, he’s with the bad guys, whether he likes it or not.

Kite: I don’t care. I can tell from how Aerin looked at me earlier. It’s like… he’s asking someone to save him.

Kite runs ahead to chase after Aerin while the party hesitates for a second before following suit. Threep gets on Kite’s shoulder.

Threep: I hope you know what you’re doing.

Kite: I am. You guys have to trust me.

Minutes later, in the outskirts of the Vishanti Kingdom, Aerin sits on the snow, gazing at the sky. His head begins to pain as a vision flashes in his eyes.

Aerin: Tch! Not again!

In his vision, he sees his young self being bullied by three kids in the town square of Whitetower.

Bully 1: Go back to your lush life in the castle, Valleros!

Bully 2: Yeah, no one wants you here!

Bully 3: Weakling!

Suddenly, Baldur appears, pushing the bullies away, and gets in between them and Aerin while holding a stick.

Baldur: Hey! Get away from my brother! He may be not as strong as any of us here, but he is sure as heck smarter than the three of you combined!

The bullies approach Baldur, cracking their knuckles.

Bully 1: Now, you’re asking for it, Baldur.

Baldur turns to Aerin.

Past Baldur: Stand up, Aerin. We can take them on together.

Past Aerin: O-Okay…

Aerin stands up and shyly raises his hands in self-defense.

The vision fast-forwards, minutes after the two brothers faced off against the bullies. They have a few bruises scattered around them, but they were victorious in the fight. Baldur is giving Aerin a piggyback ride.

Past Baldur: Good job handling yourself out there.

Past Aerin: You did most of the work…

Past Baldur: Nonsense. It was smart of you to poke their eyes, giving me time to whoop their butts. I’m proud of you.

Baldur grins while Aerin becomes flustered.

Past Aerin: T-Thank you…

The vision ends as Aerin is snapped back to reality and his headache fades away.

Aerin: How…? Where did it all go wrong…?

The prince turns around to see Kite and his friends standing behind him.

Aerin: You’re here.

He stands up and cracks his knuckles.

Kite: I’m guessing you wanna settle this in a fight?

Aerin: Yeah. Once I defeat you, the Hero chosen to defeat the Empire, right here, I will go back to Shadow Realm and claim vengeance!

Aerin puts his hand forward, materializing a polearm surging with Shadow magic. Kade grits his teeth.

Kade: A new weapon from Ignis, I presume?

Aerin: More or less. It’s called the Blackcliff Polearm.

Kade, Bella and Threep steps back.

Kade: Is it really okay for us to let this fight happen while not worrying about an avalanche?

Bella: It’s alright. The Vishanti placed wards around the mountain to prevent avalanches from occurring, guaranteeing the safety of their kingdom.

Threep: That’s a relief.

Kite unsheathes the Mirror Claymore, piquing the interest of Aerin.

Aerin: So, that’s the Mirror Claymore of the Vishanti. Quite the Sacred Treasure.

Aerin begins the fight by charging towards Kite and performs a few swings and thrusts with the Blackcliff Polearm, but the latter uses his elven senses to avoid all of them.

Aerin: Tch! Alright, how about this?!

Aerin leaps up and attempts to plunge the polearm on Kite, but again, the latter hops back, evading the attack.

Aerin: Got you now!

Aerin lets go of the polearm while it is planted on the ground before kicking it.

The polearm spins vertically towards Kite who blocks it with the Mirror Claymore.

Kite: Damn!

As the polearm begins to slow down in spinning, Aerin suddenly lunges forward and grabs it, surprising Kite.

Kite: What the—

Aerin then uses Shadow magic, transforming himself into a purple bolt of lightning, before traveling upwards. Kite and the party look up in awe.

Kade: What the hell is that?!

Threep: He has become stronger since we last saw him!

Three duplicates of the Blackcliff polearm rain down from the sky and plant themselves around Kite. Sparks then begin to appear on their tips. Kite attempts to block the incoming attack with the Mirror Claymore, but Aerin proves to be quicker as his lightning form comes crashing down onto the duplicate polearms acting as lightning rods. Kite gets electrocuted and hurled from the point of the attack, where Aerin is seen crouching down and holding his weapon, plunged onto the ground.

Bella: Sheesh, remind me not to mess with him when he’s this worked up.

Kite gets up while still recovering from Aerin’s attack. The prince stands up and pulls out his weapon from the ground, boasting about his successful attack.

Aerin: How was that?!

Kite: Tch! Not bad.

Kite gets up and dusts off his shoulder.

Kade: Wait, why was the Mirror Claymore not able to absorb the magic attack?

Threep: I believe that Kite was expecting Aerin to strike from above, even though there were duplicates of the polearm around him. However, when Aerin dropped and struck Kite’s guard, it wasn’t a magical attack, it was instead a physical attack. So, it didn’t count to the magic absorption power of the Claymore.

Bella: Then what caused the electric surge?

Threep: Electricity ran from the tip of Aerin’s weapon towards its duplicates while avoiding the Mirror Claymore, overloading them with magical energy to the point where they would explode.

Kade: That was… actually clever.

Bella: He managed to bypass the insane power of the Mirror Claymore.

Aerin rushes towards Kite once more, but the latter stays composed.

Kite: Aerin, you’re not the only one that has grown.

Kite raises the Mirror Claymore and slams it on the ground in front of him, scattering the snow and obscuring himself from Aerin’s sights. The elf then quickly casts a spell.

Kite: Chaos Magic: Moonlight Circle – Mirror Mirage.

Aerin: You can’t hide from me!

Aerin slashes the thin snow wall between him and Kite in half. As the snow parts, the prince comes face to face with multiple duplicates of his opponent, each holding the Bow of Gal’dariel in hand.

Aerin: Wha—

Kade: He used Mirror Mirage!

Threep: An excellent strategy. This should buy the real Kite some time to strike back.

Aerin stops in his tracks.

Aerin: So, this is the spell you used to escape the clutches of the Empire.

Kite and his duplicates draw their bows and arrows while aiming at Aerin.

Aerin: I know that most of those arrows are not real, but one of them can still pierce my body.

The arrows are let loose as they fly towards their target.

Aerin: So, as long as I find the real you…

Aerin does a forward flip, avoiding all the arrows, before slamming his polearm on the ground, unleashing arcs of lightning towards Kite and his duplicates. The arcs pierce through each duplicate as, one by one, they fade from existence, however, as the last duplicate fades away, the real Kite is nowhere to be seen.

Aerin: What?! Then… where is he?!

Aerin looks around, searching for the real Kite, when suddenly, the snow beneath him begins to move. He looks down.

Aerin: Can it be…?

Kite leaps up from under the snow, equipping the Gauntlet of Pain, and sucker punches Aerin, launching him far away.

Bella: Oof, that’s gotta hurt!

Aerin gets on his feet and wipes off the blood, dripping from his lips.

Aerin: But still not enough to make me concede.

He rushes to Kite, who unsheathes the Mirror Claymore.

Aerin: I will...!

Kite swings the Claymore like a baseball bat, but Aerin leaps to avoid it, ready to plunge his polearm.

Kite: Damn!

Aerin: …surpass you!!

Kite swiftly grabs the sharp end of the polearm using the Gauntlet of Pain, stopping Aerin’s attack, before hurling it behind him. Aerin ends up plunging his weapon on the snow.

Aerin: Tch!

He flips away, giving himself some distance from Kite. The two stare down at each other, waiting to strike.

Aerin: Why don’t we both bring out everything we’ve got?

Kite deeply inhales before casting Lion’s Pride, raising his physical attributes. Meanwhile, Aerin channels his Shadow magic, causing purple electricity to surge throughout his body, increasing his speed and agility. Bella steps in front of Kade and Threep.

Bella: We gotta stay back. When their attacks clash, it could be dangerous for us.

The party steps back a few feet and as soon as they did, Kite and Aerin charge at each other. They both swing their weapons, causing a strong shockwave upon collision. The two keep clashing, trading minimal blows and parrying each other’s attacks. While Aerin has the speed to strike before Kite could defend himself, the latter has enough endurance to not flinch from the attack and strike back.

Aerin leaps up, transforming into a bolt of purple lightning once more. This time, more than three duplicates of his polearm drop from the sky and surround Kite.

Kite: Tch!

Kite hops back, trying to get out of the field of polearms, but Aerin quickly descends from the sky, releasing magical energy to the polearms, causing them to burst with electricity before Kite could escape the area of effect.

Aerin: I’m impressed that you were able to survive that.

The light from the electrical surge fades, revealing Kite shielding himself with the Mirror Claymore as it is filled with magical energy that came from Aerin’s attack. However, the elf is left with burns across his body.

Kade: Kite!

Unconcerned with his own well-being, Kite swings his weapon, unleashing a magical projectile, shaped like a crescent and filled with Shadow Magic, towards Aerin.

Bella: Again, with that recklessness. Has he always been like this?

Threep: Sadly, yes, but it’s what got him this far.

Aerin imbues his polearm with Shadow Magic and uses it to cut the crescent in half, avoiding the attack, but as the crescent parts, Kite comes up right in front of Aerin, catching him by surprise.

Aerin: When did you…?!

Aerin then notices Kite conjuring a ball of Cleansing Fire from his hand. Kite swings his hand down, attempting to slam the fireball onto Aerin’s head, but the latter leaps back, evading the attack.

Aerin: It takes a lot more than a ball of fire to knock me down, Kite.

Kite looks at Aerin with a smirk.

Kite; What makes you think that it was going for you?

Aerin: Huh?

Kite slams the fireball onto the Mirror Claymore as it absorbs the magical energy, imbuing it with flames. He then charges forward while Aerin is still in mid-air, in the midst of avoiding the fireball.

Aerin’s Thoughts: Shit! I can’t dodge it! I have to block it!

Aerin holds his polearm up to block the incoming attack, but…

CLANG!!

…Kite disarms Aerin and sends the Blackcliff Polearm flying through the air, startling the latter.

Aerin: No!

The party starts cheering.

Kade: He did it!

Threep: Kite has the advantage now!

Bella: Nice!

As Aerin lands on the snow, Kite kicks his leg, forcing him to kneel in pain.

Aerin: Aah!!

Kite: Aerin… if you let only your emotions fuel your false resolve…

The elf then pulls his weapon back, ready to swing it.

Kite: …then you do not deserve to win this fight.

Aerin stares in disbelief before slowly lowering his head in defeat, accepting his demise.

Kade: Wait… is he gonna…?

Kite grips the hilt of the Mirror Claymore tight before swinging rapidly, aiming for Aerin’s neck, as if he’s trying to behead him.

Threep: Kite!

Fortunately, Kite stops short, with the blade of the Mirror Claymore almost touching Aerin’s neck. The prince’s heart momentarily pauses as he just looks at Kite, with an expression of pity on his face.

Aerin: W… Why’d you stop…?

Kite sheathes the Mirror Claymore before turning away and rejoining his friends. Aerin grits his teeth and stands in anger.

Aerin: Hey! Don’t walk away from me, Kite! Why didn’t you kill me?!

Kite stops in his tracks.

Kite: Because I cannot kill a man who is just asking for a death wish.

Aerin: What do you mean…?

Kite turns to Aerin, who was speechless.

Kite: Defeating me or the Empire? Can you even do that? Or are you just looking for an excuse to get yourself killed to end your suffering, even though it doesn’t work that way? You weren’t even giving your all during our fight.

Aerin: I…

Aerin trembles, slowly realizing how correct Kite is.

Kite: The fact that you can’t even take it upon yourself to end your own life and instead relying on others to do it, means that there’s still a part of you that wants to live on.

Kite turns back to his friends.

Kite: Once you’ve found your real self, the Aerin before the Empire of Ash, before the Shadow Court, before all of this, then come find me.

Kite continues to walk towards his friends.

Kite: I’ll be sure to fight you again… to settle this properly.

The party gathers around Kite, making sure he’s okay, while they all walk away from Aerin.

Kade: Are you hurt?

Kite: I’m fine.

Threep: Did you really intend to kill him?

Kite: I wasn’t trying to.

Bella: Are you sure you wanna face him again?

Kite: As much as I need to until he’s saved.

As the party disappears from Aerin’s sights, he grabs his weapon, before walking the other direction and wandering to himself.

Aerin: My… real self…

As the party and Aerin part ways, Laundsellyn watches from the sky, laying down on a hovering Blade of Shadows.

Sir Laundsellyn: Hehe, that was fun.

He squints and smirks at the party.

Sir Laundsellyn: Now… where could that Priestess be?

————— END OF CHAPTER —————

[todoshotoki]

➽───────❥ INTUITION ; CHAPTER FIVE

katsuki bakugo x reader

taglist: @aria-bnha @00ashpop00 @internetrashh @videogameboiwhowins @doggy-48 @tspice283 @mismatchedtwin-rachel​ @nekomxncer​

a/n: i don’t know if the usage of the weapon that the reader has is cultural appropriation (which i take very seriously) so please let me know if so and i’ll rewrite the character’s weapon design).

word count: 1K

“left,”

“right,”

“kick from under”

“watch your hip,”

you were knocked to the side but you managed find your footing again and you placed both thumbs on the middle and pulled to separate the staff into two pieces. the ends condensed into smaller more manageable sizes.

the dead time between the convenience factor and deattaching delayed you by five seconds but you had managed to evade your teacher’s incoming attacks and go unscathed. this was a first as you had always had been knocked to the ground in the process. your teacher grinned, “you’re getting quicker,”

“hell yeah, i am,” you pride yourself now switching to the offense. you twirl them around in your hands as you begin to advance, going from hand to hand, striking toward her left only for her to duck under and kick up to your chin.

your quirk queued in just in time to step back but it was faint. you had been practicing nonstop for a few hours so of course it was. your lungs were starting to burn and your chest was sore but you had to finish this last round. you were just getting better.

you backed up and engaged into a sprint, sending a jump into your toes to flip into a corkscrew to possibly choke her down with the chain of the nunchucks. but to your dismay, a collective gasp had shattered your focus causing you to overshot your leap and land on your back.

you coughed harshly as the wind gets knocked out of you. “fuck!” you roll over onto your side with a hand on your throat. you look toward the doorway to see kirishima, midoriya, and a girl a bit shorter than midoriya standing there in guilt.

“you almost had me there, (l/n),” your teacher lends you a hand. “i’ve never seen such an attempt with a weapon like that,” you took with a grimace and she pulled you upright, “work on your focus next time. you’re too anxious.” you nod and after punching your chest to stop the coughing, you glared towards the door.

“you guys messed me up!” you yelled. “i’m sorry!” midoriya immediately started to bow on instinct. “we didn’t mean to (l/n), you just looked so cool! you need to teach me that some time.” kirishima says hyped up over the skirmish you just had done.

“it must’ve taken a lot of relentless training,” the girl said. “thanks, um...” you tried to thank her but damn, what was her name?

“uraraka,” she chimes in. “yeah, that,” you laugh sheepishly. you then turn to midoriya, “did you bring the book?”

“yeah, i sure did,” he handed you a small notebook that had “hero journal no. 9” written on the front. why has he put boom boom boy in the hero section???

“thanks, you’re a lifesaver,” you thank him. “come!” you then call your weapon that was laying on the floor in the place you had landed, coming to your gloved hand to which the three awed over. “woah, you don’t need to flex on us (l/n),” kirishima whines, putting his hands up in defeat.

you shook your head at the redhead’s expression. “i’ll meet you guys back at the main building. i need to change out of my costume.” you turned and waved. you opened izuku’s notebook and flipped to the marked page.

katsuki bakugou

quirk: explosions; the sweat glands on his palms are mutant with sweat akin to nitroglycerin. he’s able to cause explosions at will. he can spark off explosions unaided as well, but his ability is undoubtedly boosted by activities that conduce sweating- so he’s a force to be reckoned with in summertime! however, he’s a slow starter in the winter! at any rate, the more sweat, the greater the power of his quirk. he has no big drawbacks and his strength leaves no heads unturned!

you frowned promptly at the synopsis. midoriya was blatantly praising this delinquent and with the sports festival not being in the winter you couldn’t take any other big steps forward to best him. from what you knew, bakugo was irrational and was full of himself which no doubt would slowly be tamed by the likes of yourself and todoroki.

you saw how dejected he looked after his match with uraraka and izuku so crushing his spirits and provoking him was the most you could possibly do. no matter how much he thought he could be strong, if something is repeated to you over and over again, you’ll believe it. that’s a promise.

“falling in love with bakugo katsuki, isnt worth it. one of you will die in the end.”

just as you were forgetting about that prediction it came to you in barely a whisper. “what the fuck?” the chills went down your spine as you buttoned up your dress shirt. this shit might actually be serious?

were you going to die?

no, you couldn’t die. this wasn’t a prediction, this was more of a condition.

you put your support item in your locker and headed to the main building.

you had english class next and you were the last one there. you were well aware of how gross you could look after training but damn, why is everyone looking at you like that? 

...

at around noon the next day, you were all doing a special class and mina and sero were more than excited to start. “i wonder what it’s going to be about! maybe we can get some hands on experience?” mina excitedly says, swinging her legs like a kid.

“a rescue training exercise,” you said, setting your pair of chopsticks on the top of your bowl, “it’s going to be in the usj. we’ll get to use our hero costumes and stuff. you guys will finally get to see my support item.”

“woah!” kaminari beams, “that quirk of yours really isn’t a fan of surprises is it?” you sheepishly shake your head. 

something seemed off about the next class. something bad was coming.

[freewheelshippin]

FIC: “What Do I Call You?”

There was something so honest about how she hyped the crowd, leaned so forward she seemed like she might leap into a crowdwalk, pointing at her ear until the whole crowd bellowed in their own guttoral harmony. And she smiled so much at her crewmates -- Ranmaru realized he was smiling, too, while she played guitar and accompanied the others’ solos, only breaking from her deep sway with the music to look at them with brightness and joy in her eyes. 

In those moments, Ranmaru understood something he hadn’t before, but it also made him realize that the hunger in him wasn’t being sated so much as it was deepening. 

So! I had some fun writing for the roleswap AU, where I’m the punk rock idol and Ranmaru’s the freelance artist getting some juice from all the love and music.

Not much by ways of content warnings -- lots of eating, a fair amount of alcohol, too, and you know, we utter the word ‘fuck’ a few times.  

Ranmaru swore as he dropped the case on his toe. He could tell immediately that this was one of those jammed toes that would hurt for days from the bruising, especially when he still had half of the city to cross before he could get back home. And what was home? His shithole apartment and limping around while he went on his rounds for the local cats? 

At least the train was empty enough he could sit alone, even comfortably with all his equipment. He was still cross that the live house didn’t have it themselves. Weren’t they professionals? Stupid. The show had sucked, too, with the band spending more time fucking around then putting on the damn show they were paid for, that their fans came out to see, that Ranmaru had put such care into getting the tech just right to enhance. And that one jackass trying to throw hands with anyone in the crowd. Nobody on staff did a fucking thing to kick him out until Ranmaru dragged him out himself, and now he had a black eye and the stink of shitty beer and stale cigarette smoke hanging on him to show for it.

Thirty minutes ‘til his stop. He could listen to some music to smooth over this shitty...everything. He slipped his headphones on, ready to mute the rest of the world and stop anyone from entering his. 

Reiji (12:42 AM) : Iiiiiiiiiit’s dropped!!!!!

What, your balls, Ranmaru thought ruefully to himself, unconsciously clicking his tongue in annoyance. He moved his finger to swipe and mute him for … a week, maybe, from how shitty he was feeling right now, but Reiji was too fast. The link appeared, and Ranmaru hit it, if only to have something concrete to be annoyed with him for. 

It was a preview for a new PV. That’s right. It was technically tomorrow already, the day this content was due, but this was still early. Reiji must have found a leak. Lucky he was such an otaku, Ranmaru never had to go hunting for sketchy files or talk with weirdos he knew he wouldn’t be able to level with outside of the crowd. There was a long windup before the music even started playing, the visuals building dramatic lighting and obscuring anything but their silhouettes, but there was the low fuzz of an amp before it all hit at once. 

Ranmaru didn’t want to admit that his eyes darted right to that flash of turquoise as the lights came up in the PV, because it would mean that he might’ve smiled at just the sight of her. No, it had to be the sound. That clean, driving guitar, that strong bass, it felt like Deep Purple and Iron Maiden, but pushed to be danceable and idol-friendly with synth and a digital drumkit beat Ranmaru could vaguely recognize parts of.  

His toe and face didn’t stop hurting and body didn’t stop aching, but he stopped feeling so mad about it for the minute he watched and listened. There was professional polish there he’d missed seeing at the shitshow that was tonight’s gig, but there was still that rawness there of a good, irreplaceable concert. Something less precise than other idol groups’ practiced, saccharine perfection, but Ranmaru found it more welcoming than any other group he’d seen or worked with. 

The camera cut to a focus shot. Her hair was as bright as ever, styled like she were one of those princely girls from anime, just somehow made real, and she turned to look right at him-- 

Reiji (12:44 AM) : Ranran~~ how are you liking your girlfriend in this one :3c 

Ranmaru actually growled a little. He only realized he had been smiling because of how intensely he frowned at that bastard, barging into his texts --  

Ranmaru (12:44 AM): shut the fuck up and let me watch it. don’t call her that   

Reiji (12:44 AM): Isn’t she doing all the things you like??? 

Reiji (12:45 AM): So handsome! So rock! So passionate!

Reiji (12:45 AM): Feels tailor made for you ;o 

Ranmaru (12:45 AM): I told you to shut the fuck up. go text natsuki if you have to annoy someone

Reiji (12:46 AM): Aww Ranran did the show go bad? :(

Reiji (12:46 AM): But I already did, you know! And I’ve already gotten twice as many sparkly sticker replies than texts you’ve sent me in the past week!!! 

(He had to admit he laughed a little at that. Reiji was probably getting another onslaught as he was typing, his own push notifications as clogged as he was making Ranmaru’s.) 

Ranmaru (12:47 AM): I’m muting notifs since you won’t learn how to fucking shut up 

Reiji (12:47 AM): ohhhh she’s getting ranran’s full attention~! You must really like this preview, huh? I guess it’s true love 

Ranmaru (12:48 AM): WILL YOU SHUT UP ALREADY   

Reiji (12:48 AM): You’re right, I should, I should be listening for wedding bells! 

Ranmaru (12:48 AM): go make out with your gacha girlfriend body pillow and leave me alone 

Ranmaru (12:49 AM): hypocrite 

He finally muted all his notifications. An hour should be enough to ride it out, he thought as he settled a little into the hard plastic of the seat, restarting the video. The anger from the past couple hours melted away as he watched, uninterrupted, and replayed it with eyes closed as the sound flowed in through his headphones and released the tension in his body bit by bit. 

--- 

The hour ran out when Ranmaru was squatting over an especially runty kitten, eating noisily while the others watched from a couple feet away. Why stray cats could understand him better than anyone else when he said to piss off, he’d never know. He swiped around to turn his notifications back off for the rest of the night before pocketing his phone again. 

“...Oi. Slow down.” He pulled the plate of food away from the kitten. It shook with hiccups as it watched carefully, almost fearfully, before it pounced back onto the food, gobbling it down like it was going to be its last meal. Ranmaru sighed but couldn’t blame the little thing. He dumped out the last of the food, gave the rest of the cats one last look as he stood up to walk away, and he heard the frenzied scratch of their claws against the pavement as they swarmed the plates of food. 

 Maybe it wasn’t so much they understood him as he understood them. To hunger like that, both literally and for something less physical but just as carnal.  

He plugged his headphones back in, listening to the leaked preview a few more times on his way back to the apartment. 

--

He liked this group to begin with mostly because of her. She dressed, talked, and acted more like someone from a band than an idol, and something about that felt weirdly familiar and good. The rest of the group were more unique than a lot of other idols -- you’d expect that from a unit made up of a pack of ragtag international recruits, sure, but it was refreshing how they’d made everything about their presence wholly their own. 

Hers just made the most sense to him. The brashness, the way she talked about music, the way she performed, it all felt like someone who was chasing and understood the same things he did. She even said her music was about giving people power in an interview Reiji’d dug up for him. 

“Beyond language, or the way words reach people,” she’d said in decent but definitely non-native Japanese; she’d grown up some in Okinawa while her family lived on the military base, but mostly shuttled between America and Bangkok before getting recruited by chance here. “I want to give everyone a home that makes them feel strong through my music.” 

He wondered, dimly, as he took a hot shower and stared down at his swollen red toe, if he felt drawn to the group because he wanted that for himself, or because it reminded him why he kept picking up jobs that made him as angry as tonight’s did. 

He went to bed that night with an ice pack balanced on his swollen eye, the frustration more or less passed as he listened to the classic bands that new song reminded him of. 

--- 

He woke up to his phone buzzing, the hold on push notifications finally expired, and he murmured in bewilderment at just how many there were. Not just from Reiji, but Natsuki, too. 

Rather than try and parse whatever the hell happened while he was asleep, Ranmaru just went into the group chat well after he’d gotten himself breakfast. 

Ranmaru (9:28 AM): what the hell happened last night that you had to blow up my phone 

Natsuki (9:30 AM): Maru-chan-senpai! Ah! You’re alive!!!! 

Ranmaru (9:31 AM): I just went to bed is all 

(“Why the hell are you calling me ‘senpai’?” Ranmaru had asked him, and Natsuki had looked at him with those big dopey eyes and earnestly said since he’d been a fan longer, he was naturally Natsuki’s senpai, and any protest Ranmaru made never stuck.) 

Reiji supplied a link without any fanfare, introduction, or goofy dramatics, which almost startled Ranmaru. 

Notice (posted by Ootori Eiichi x/xx/xx): 

We are currently seeking an emergency replacement sound/stage technician for performances at the following dates and locations. Inquire immediately. [PAID] 

Ranmaru stared at the listing, barely processing the lurch in his stomach that came from just reading it. It was for them. That act. The debut mini-tour for that new single. It’d take rearranging his sound editing queue and massaging some deadlines, but he could feasibly make all of those dates and times.

He thought for a moment of doing that sound check, and seeing for himself the electric energy of that live. Of working with that group whose respect for their audience he personally felt, of watching her prepare, having to talk directly to her as she tuned her guitar....

There was the very real possibility that it’d prove everything he believed about them - about her, really, that ethos he was drawn to - was just smoke and mirrors, too. 

Natsuki (9:35 AM): Can you do it, Maru-chan-senpai? 

Reiji (9:36 AM): Ranran, you have to do it. 

Ranmaru (9:36 AM): this is just a listing, just because I ask doesn’t mean it’ll go through 

There was a long pause, where everyone went on and off typing, never actually saying anything, and he frowned. 

Ranmaru (9:40 AM): can you all just fucking say what you’re thinking already 

Natsuki (9:42 AM): You really love their magic and energy, I just wanted to say I hope you do it and get it because your heart wants it! 

Reiji (9:45 AM): Yes, Nacchan, you said it! Ranran, I’ll give you all the free bento you need to keep your tummy full to go do this! 

Ranmaru (9:45 AM): don’t fucking do that, reiji, you’ll just piss of your sister. I’ll buy them myself

Ranmaru (9:45 AM): assuming I even do this 

Reiji (9:46 AM): I really think you should. 

Reiji (9:46 AM): Not because we want the insider scoop. But because when’s the last time you had fun at a live you worked? 

Ranmaru could curse Reiji where he stood. Whenever he stopped fucking around and got to his point, it was always a good one. 

---

He got the job, somehow, after a little emailing back-and-forth and negotiating the contract. Now he was on a train to Yokohama for the first gig, his case packed full, his backpack stuffed with supplies for a week. Comping travel, hotel, and meals was enough to take the job, even if it paid like ass, but it didn’t. The contract was actually pretty decent. They -- or, well, at least that Ootori guy -- were upfront that he’d be worked hard, the hours were going to be long, and there wasn’t going to be much room for rest or leisure. But the pay was good. Enough that if he had a dryspell of jobs afterwards, he’d be okay for longer than usual. 

It was worth it for other reasons, though, he thought to himself, stuffing spare merch he’d gotten in blindbags (and a couple other last-minute buys he didn’t tell the others about) into a bottom corner of his suitcase. None of it was of her, none of it for him. Something felt unprofessional spending this job acting like a fan, but at least there wasn’t any harm grabbing some signatures for friends who never made it to meet-and-greets. 

The single was out properly, now, and so was the PV. There was a section of it he especially liked and had gotten into the habit of watching on train rides, where she broke out of the dance routine to put her arms around her teammates, grin a dumb grin, and kick her legs high. It cut to a different shot of the group in different costumes but perfect sync, and when it cut back to that first shot, she stumbled and fell right on her ass, dragging the others down with her. Still grinning stupidly, and singing through it all. 

She didn’t take many vocal solos. She only had one line in this song to herself, and she was singing with the whole group for this shot. He read in an interview she wasn’t happy with the tone quality of her voice yet -- it needed to be richer, and she still needed plenty of training before it reached what her teammates and audience deserved. 

Ranmaru told himself, as the train was minutes away from the station, that this had to be the last time he watched this video and listened to the song like this. At least for the duration of this job. Every time he watched that shot, as she kept singing and the rest of the group tumbled down with her with the same dumb grin she wore, he knew in his gut the voice she sang in must’ve sounded like the soul of rock. Even if that gesture were directed and performed, there was still something genuine there that reminded him of those moments at concerts that convinced him to walk the path he did. 

Maybe he’d get to see it live. Maybe he wouldn’t. But he had to stop imagining it. She - this whole group, rather - was about to become real, and whether or not everything he imagined would turn out to just be something he made up to deal with his shit, he had a job to do. 

------------------------------------

He had a chance to leave his clothes and belongings in the hotel before heading to the live house. Ranmaru was unsure why this Ootori guy had picked him. He didn’t have an exactly long resume with idol shows, but then again, this was a group that debuted without any typical idol sound. There wasn’t any gimmick to them (Ranmaru wouldn’t call being made up of foreigners much of a gimmick when it came to the music), and they weren’t afraid of reaching into all sorts of genres he more typically worked with. 

Right as he got to the live house, his phone rumbled with back-to-back notifications. 

Reiji (5:48 PM): Ranran~!!! Ganbarimachochho from us! 

Ranmaru wouldn’t deign the attached selfie with a response right now (he was about to work, after all), but he felt himself suppressing a smile. Reiji was sticking his tongue out and making a victory sign, Natsuki further in the background, half-buried in stuffed animals and doing the same. They were going to be streaming the event for special-tier fanclub members like REIJI, which Ranmaru had always harangued him for. If he was a fan, wasn’t it enough to just cheer their hearts out live, enjoy their music, buy a CD and shirt, and feel the energy they had to give that way? 

(He still pored over the behind-the-scenes and advance material Reiji forwarded to him and Natsuki regardless. Sometimes he translated the English from their social media accounts, even. It was satisfying, as stupid as it felt sometimes, to do those little things in between the real shows.) 

He’d never been to the live house before, but it had the same vibes as so many others he’d been to. He found the back entrance effortlessly, where a man with glasses almost took him by surprise. 

“Kurosaki?” he asked. His gaze felt just as intense as all the other communication they’d had over e-mail. 

“Ootori,” he grunted back. 

“You’re early,” Eiichi replied, grinning at Ranmaru. Not that it surprised him in the slightest, but it made him look less approachable and instead even more intense. “Good. I like that in a recruit.” 

Ranmaru gritted his teeth quietly. This guy was going to be an absolute bastard, he could feel it, but at least he seemed like he knew how to run a show. “Don’t say that like I joined your agency. Tell me where the group’s at with setup, and I’ll get started.” 

 Eiichi’s eyes glinted from behind his glasses. He looked too satisfied with himself for Ranmaru’s taste. “I liked how you didn’t beat around the bush when you reached out for the job, and it’s good to see you hold to it. They’re rehearsing in the space, but we still have equipment to unload and cues to sync. You read the notes I sent you, I trust.” 

“All forty fuckin’ pages of it.” Ranmaru left out that he’d actually found it pretty impressive, appreciating the thoroughness and ambition of the show for a smaller group and venue. “Are we going to stand around shooting the shit or are we going to get started working on them?” 

Eiichi laughed at that. Ranmaru wasn’t sure if it pissed him off or made him feel eager to get to work. 

“This way,” he said, showing him to a van stuffed full of equipment. 

------ 

Ranmaru went straight to the live house staff to start doing his work. The master controls were kept in a little room that overlooked the stage. His gut flipped when he first saw them all, rehearsing some specific-looking choreography that needed to adjust to a new stage.  He wasn’t about to let that interrupt work. This was just like any other job, except he liked the performers a whole lot more, and things progressed like any other job. Until she looked dead at him from the stage, calling out. 

“Heeeeey,” she said. “Scuse me, are you the new tech guy?” 

“Yeah.” Ranmaru forced the feeling rising in his throat back down (as much as he could with sheer willpower, anyway). “Whaddya want?” 

“I just wanted to ask your name! We gotta call you something!” 

“Ranmaru,” he answered, hoping dearly that whatever he felt burning on his face was hidden by the dim lighting. 

“Cool, OK. Ranmaru-san,” she continued cheerfully. Ranmaru felt his chest tighten as he heard his name on her lips. “Are we queued up enough that we can do this number with music?” 

“This is the one for the new single, right,” he called back. He took a look at the levels, gain, and so forth as they were and instinctively nudged the knobs where the countless plays of that new song told him to. He’d imagined the vision of its stage presence for weeks. “I’m gonna test out some different settings for the levels ‘n stuff while you do that.” 

She made an expression of surprise as it came on. Delight, even, as she rode out into the following beats. Ranmaru couldn’t help crooking into his own smile, satisfied his know-how just helped that vision become a little bit brighter. She flashed him a thumbs up, then a gesture to pause, still grinning. 

“Can we take it from the top? Five, six, seven, eight---” 

-------- 

Ranmaru had never felt this sort of contradiction. She was restringing her acoustic guitar, from steel to nylon strings, as she hummed and practiced segments of songs, and Ranmaru was adjusting amplifiers and other equipment on the stage nearby. His head swam with the thought and excitement they were sharing the same stage, even just as a tech and pre-show performer, but approaching her felt like being both sides of a magnet at once. 

But that push and pull gave way, eventually, as the guitar finished being re-strung and tuned, and the humming turned into full-on singing. Ranmaru fought desperately to make sure he wasn’t just confirming what he’d already imagined, to just appreciate her live voice on its own merits and flaws. But he could feel in his chest that that character, that quality he’d responded so much to was there, that even with some lacking technical skill, there was still a rich tone color you could only get with passion and the spirit for rock. 

“You doing any solos tonight?” he asked in English. 

“Hm?” She looked caught by surprise. 

Ranmaru answered, already anticipating the question. “I’m half-American. I speak it fluently enough.” 

“Well, shit,” she said with a grin. “That’s convenient for us. I mean, I don’t mind Japanese if it’s easier…” 

“‘Sfine. Do what you want. I won’t complain about the practice, though.” 

She chuckled. “Man, maybe losing our usual guy from the agency was a stroke of good luck.” 

Ranmaru laughed challengingly. “Say that after the show goes well. And you still haven’t answered my question.” 

“Oh, uh. Right. Not really? Why do you ask?” 

“Why not?” 

She took a moment and laughed brightly in reply. Ranmaru could practically hear the insecurity she was covering up. 

“‘Cuz we’re an idol group.” 

Ranmaru gestured and murmured in vague acknowledgement. “You still have less solo lines than everyone else.” 

“Oh, do I,” she replied flatly, going back to her guitar, trimming overhanging strings. “I guess you would know, now that you’ve gotta manage all our sound.” 

“I just think it’s stupid you’ve clearly got your own voice but can’t think of sharing it without hiding behind everyone else’s.” 

She looked up at him incredulously. “Ranmaru-san, right?” 

“...Just call me Ranmaru.” 

“Alright, Ranmaru.” She looked at him again. Somehow when she looked at him dead-on this time, nothing went to mush inside of him. “Don’t fucking talk to me like our group voice isn’t the backbone of everything we’re trying to do.” 

“Nothing’s wrong with your group voice,” he shot back, getting heated. “It’s good. I can feel the soul behind it all, even when you’re rehearsing.” 

“So why are you fucking complaining?” She was still smiling, laying cheer and energy over her growing frustration. “Is there something you wanna say to me about my crew’s voices?” 

“They’re fine!” he barked back, frustrated she wasn’t getting his point. “This isn’t about them! You have something your audience is gonna be lit on fire hearing more of, that’s all!”  

Some eyes were starting to fall on them, but Ranmaru could barely notice them over the way her chest rose sharply and her expression became inscrutible. 

“...how about,” she said, speaking slowly as she deliberately, diplomatically pulled out her words, switching back to Japanese. “You save any notes you have for after the show.” 

“......Sure.” His stomach flipped again, more intensely and more painfully than the last few times. He went back to fussing with the amp, and she laid the pliers she’d trimmed her strings with on it before heading backstage until the show started. 

--- 

The show was electric. Ranmaru couldn’t say he was the right audience for most idol groups -- not so much out of distaste as much as incompatibility, he guessed. The way Reiji and Natsuki would lose their minds over their favorites’ cheerful cuteness or the kindness in their voices, Ranmaru wouldn’t. The fanatical, cult-of-personality devotion some other idols could curate with otaku-types, he didn’t connect with, either. What spoke to him was passion, backed by steely sounds and the sweat behind them; the excitement and fervor of rock and a crowd stinking of sweat; how well you could make someone scream themselves hoarse for that one, shining moment without any care for how sore they’d feel the next morning. 

Maybe it was the adrenaline from earlier, but when he could look away from the tech, he felt that here, too. There was no drum or bass player onstage, but he could still feel the beat thrum through his chest and rumble through his bones until his breath quickened, like he were jumping and dancing with the crowd. There was joy in their teamwork. In how they shaped their bodies together in song and in voice, and pushing and pulling the spotlight until it was something brighter, something shared and tangible between them and the audience.

His eyes fell on her. What should he call her? She had a stage name in Thai, but she was open that wasn’t her given name or anything friends and family called her. “Aroon” was just something she picked so she could wear her heritage proudly. It meant ‘dawn,’ it sounded cooler, more idol-ish than her Western name, which wasn’t a secret, by any means, but he heard her called by so many versions of it, none felt real. 

It only felt so weird because seeing her onstage, he felt far beyond any confirmation bias he could’ve had that the person he’d seen in the PV’s was every bit as real as he’d hoped. He saw someone who didn’t just fit on stage, but relished and grew like a plant in the hot lights burning down on them. There was something so honest about how she hyped the crowd, leaned so forward she seemed like she might leap into a crowdwalk, pointing at her ear until the whole crowd bellowed in their own guttoral harmony. And she smiled so much at her crewmates -- Ranmaru realized he was smiling, too, while she played guitar and accompanied the others’ solos, only breaking from her deep sway with the music to look at them with brightness and joy in her eyes. 

In those moments, Ranmaru understood something he hadn’t before, but it also made him realize that the hunger in him wasn’t being sated so much as it was deepening. 

They got cheered back on for an encore. And towards the end of that last song, Ranmaru watched as she broke choreography to literally lift the one Natsuki was convinced was a fairy, spinning them around as the practiced moves dissolved into joyful chaos. The whole group ended the song arm in arm, sloppily holding mics for each other as they alternately laughed, belted, fumbled, and shouted thank-yous into the audience.

Ranmaru still felt something tug at him as the mic got held in front of her, she grabbed it, and handed it to someone else. Just sing, damn it, he thought to himself. It didn’t matter if it was perfect, it just mattered that it was hers. 

Didn’t she realize she deserved to be adored the same way she wanted the rest of her group to be? 

Ranmaru cut everything as they filtered offstage, staggering and softening the mics as they put them back and let them go. He took a deep, sighing breath in and out, almost like he’d been holding it for the entire concert, as his stomach growled. 

Maybe he should’ve taken some more of Reiji’s bento, after all, and give Natsuki’s cookies another try.  

-------- 

They closed up quickly. With the group no longer bound by rehearsal, takedown went faster than ever, and there wasn’t any meet-and-greet at today’s venue. Ranmaru dimly considered looking at the merch table, but he had a week to do that and had other things to finish with today’s closeup, anyway. 

He could hear the group discussing amongst themselves in English about where to go for a late dinner celebrating a good show.

“I want chicken,” she pleaded. “Is there one of those Taiwanese shops where you can get boba and chicken around here? You know, the kind that comes in a little bag and a toothpick?” 

Eiichi approached them, and she started to repeat herself in Japanese before he asked to interrupt her. 

“We’re all headed to the izakaya two blocks from here,” he announced to everyone. “I’ve already called ahead to reserve the space. Consider it a reward for a triumph of the first show on tour.” 

“But is there chicken,” she repeated in Japanese in mock desperation as she mussed her own hair, fussing it out of the careful styling she’d had it in for hours. 

Ranmaru’s phone buzzed from the notifications he missed, shutting them off for the duration of the show. Mostly from Natsuki and Reiji. He scrolled through the groupchat as they reacted live to the stream and tried to compliment Ranmaru on managing sound so well, though he was sure it couldn’t have possibly made much of a difference for the stream. 

Ranmaru (11:37 PM): it was a killer show, wasn’t it 

Ranmaru (11:37 PM): they’re talking about craving chicken right now. Guess it’s too bad we don’t have a kotobuki bento branch around here. 

Ranmaru (11:38 PM): i could go for a kara-age bento 

Reiji (11:38 PM): Ranran….! 

Natsuki (11:39 PM): Waaaah~! I hope you find some kara-age soon and share it with your shining star! 

Ranmaru immediately locked the phone after that. His stomach somersaulted once more time. He stood by what he said to her earlier, but he couldn’t imagine she’d want to talk after the way things had gone. Better to leave the group to that postshow glow, feed himself, and head back to the hotel. 

--------- 

The room was swimming just a little. Ranmaru blearly looked at his phone, trying to ignore the fact that he’d drank beyond his limit like an idiot. He knew he was like this, so why did he keep downing beer after beer? He’d gotten too used to needing as much as he could stomach to tolerate Reiji’s antics (and, he knew dimly, he was just too used to being able to rely on him once he’d hit his limit). 

She was seated right across from him, because of course she was, but they didn’t exchange any words or even eye contact. She was entirely focused on the rest of the group and the meal itself, laughing loudly between boisterous stories and jokes and devouring whatever snacks she ordered. 

Ranmaru got up. He could make it back to the hotel by himself, probably. Nobody asked as he left, which was how he’d preferred things, right? 

If there was such thing as taking a desolate wizz, maybe this is what it felt like, he thought to himself as he dried his hands on his shirt and left the restroom to step outside. Just for a moment. Just to get some air. 

Eiichi followed him out. 

“Can I help you,” Ranmaru said roughly after Eiichi caught the door behind him. 

“Hardly.” He had the same look in his eye as before. “I thought I’d take the opportunity to say well done.” 

Ranmaru grunted. “You still have six more shows with me. Compliment me when I’ve nailed all of them.” 

“Hm. I’d certainly expect no less. But,” he continued, that grin going places Ranmaru especially didn’t like. “I can’t say that was what I was referring to.” 

Ranmaru looked at him suspiciously. 

“She’s been a tough nut to crack,” he continued. “I’m glad my instincts were right, Ranmaru Kurosaki, your brusqueness and deep experience with music laid her heart bare enough she recognized some changes she needed to make.” 

He didn’t think, and only saw red -- he couldn’t blame the alcohol entirely, but the haziness was enough that his brain needed a moment to catch up to his gut reaction. 

Eiichi laughed, unfazed by Ranmaru’s hands on his collar or snarling expression. 

“Bastard!” he barked. Eiichi’s eyes glinted behind his glasses. 

“I heard your little conversation. Do you not stand by those words?” 

“Of course I do,” Ranmaru snapped. 

“They reached her,” Eiichi cut in before Ranmaru could think of what to say next. “She’s already asking me about extra vocal training before the next recording sessions.” 

“She doesn’t need more training!” He threw Eiichi back, finally letting go. He barely needed any effort to recover, and Ranmaru just glared at him as he kept raising his voice. “And I’m not your for-hire music coach! Is this how you treat all your contractors, you rat bastard of a producer?!” 

He just laughed that laugh of his, making Ranmaru even angrier. “Your passion for music and straightforwardness was evident, even in your initial inquiry. It was just excellent luck your technical skills were just as useful for sending this idol group hurtling towards their fullest potential.” 

“If you want her to reach it, you’d tell her she doesn’t need any extra lessons. You’d just tell her she’s a great goddamn idol the way she is right now,” Ranmaru spat. “Trusting her voice is just what’ll make her into a better one.” 

“I hear some selfish intent in that, Kurosaki.” Eiichi looked like he was burning with excitement. “But that just means I can trust your intentions more than anyone. You speak as someone whose heart’s already been moved. A fan...a loyal follower who desires their success. Perhaps even more than she does.” 

“I’m going back to the hotel.” Ranmaru strode past him, feeling himself burn from top to bottom. He gave Eiichi one last look in the eye. “If you need me before the show tomorrow, find someone else.”  

------- 

The next day and next show went uneventfully. Now that he’d met the group at Yokohama, he was travelling with them in the cars and equipment vans, and he made a point of finding a back seat nobody wanted to share, stretching out, and napping the whole ride. The setup at the next live house was a pain in the ass with their unusual devices and systems, but Ranmaru was quietly grateful to have his hands full. He liked having a good reason for not wanting to talk to (scold) anyone but the live house staff itself. Being irritated they went for weird, cheap models with lower quality helped him double down on the attention needed to make the group shine. They collectively got ramen afterwards. The only words he exchanged all meal were with the one Reiji liked so much, ferrying his ramen order for him when he got frustrated with the shop crowd and left to go wait outside. 

(He’d have to find a way to talk with her later about Reiji. Not just for the autograph -- he opened up his phone, ignoring any notifications that weren’t his work email, and messaged him. 

Ranmaru (9:42 PM): send me a pic of your Mae shrine 

Reiji (9:45 PM): ehh? Ranran, what for? 

Ranmaru (9:50 PM): just send it 

Dutifully, Reiji did. Ranmaru couldn’t have imagined he really had no idea what he planned to do with it, but if he wasn’t just playing dumb, at least he’d be getting one hell of a surprise.) 

It was during the third show that things started to happen a way he could scarcely believe. The show went pretty normally, except for one point where she stumbled badly enough during a complex turn she completely ate shit. But she played it off into something hammy and funny, rolling out of the way of the others, lying like she were posing in a cheesy beefcake calendar while she found the beat again to sing. 

Ranmaru still thought she needed to own up to her lack of courage and just sing more, but putting it like she was a coward was a mistake. He thought dimly to what Reiji had said that had convinced him -- “when was the last time you had fun working a stage like this?” And he wondered if he’d ever had fun onstage like he saw. He might’ve tasted the glory and passion of the stage, the delicious energy of the audience, and the power of rock -- he knew he did, he’d looked an easier, blander life in the eye and felt too desolate to walk that path, even with his inescapable debt. 

But it could be more fun. That audience could feel more, even more connected, that he could smile through mistakes when the performance came from camaraderie as much as passion and soul. Things could be better when they were shared beyond just the respect of an audience and a performer.

He didn’t realize he was smiling as much as he was until his cheeks were hurting, but that was also because he felt hungrier than he’d ever been.  

----

He couldn’t help calculating how many meals he’d be cutting into as the convenience store clerk rang up everything, even though he’d already gotten Eiichi to confirm he was going to expense him the bill and get refunded every cent. 

The show closed late. They had a special meet-and-greet he didn’t need to be around to handle, but none of them had had the chance to eat much outside of some spare snacks. He figured something fast and easy before they could collapse in the hotel would fit the bill. 

She wasn’t there when he went around knocking on the hotel room doors and delivering the goods. Gone out to relax on the roof, they said, and when they offered to hold her food, he said no, he’d take it right to her. 

The sound of the roof door opening looked like it startled her, and he didn’t know what else to do but hold up the bag full of food like a peace offering. 

“Eat something,” he said in English, tossing her a banana from the bag. She caught it before eyeing him up and down, then settled back to the outdoor lounge chair she’d been resting on. Ranmaru took a seat in the one across for her, setting the bag on the ground as he pulled the rest of the food out. She looked hesitant, only speaking until he’d laid everything out, even the drinks.

“...That smells good,” she said in Japanese. “What’s that, kara-age?” 

“I heard you guys were craving chicken.” 

 “I mean, I sure was. Thanks.”

“I told you English was fine,” he said, back to Japanese. 

“My Japanese is fine,” she said, tearing into the banana first. 

“Yeah, but if you’re tired of speaking outside of your native tongue,” Ranmaru started, already feeling himself get heated. “Why wouldn’t you take the chance to just rest?” 

She finished her bite of banana before giving him a look. “...If you insist.” 

They just sat in silence as she ate for a bit. 

“Is there something else you want from me?” she asked. She left half the kara-age and bottled tea.

“...No, not really. I wanted to say sorry for the other day, though.” 

“Ah.” She smiled knowingly, though she didn’t look happy about it. “Don’t worry about it. It sure isn’t the first or last time I’m gonna be criticized in this industry. I can handle it.” 

Ranmaru murmured in acknowledgement, not sure to what end making himself clear to would earn, but he had to, anyways. He stared down the half-full kara-age container. 

“...This is your goddamn food, you know.” He pushed it closer to her. “Eat it.” 

“Oh, you’re sure?” 

“I didn’t have a meet-and-greet that made me miss dinner. Do you really wanna work a tour on an empty stomach?” 

She scooped it up with a knowing ‘hmm’ and a half-smile. After polishing it off, she let out a heavy sigh. 

“You are right, though. I’m being a coward, not singing more.” 

“You’re not,” Ranmaru grumbled. 

“Sure,” she said dismissively. “But I guess I should apologize for getting so defensive. I thought you were just another macho shithead trying to talk the piss out of our group and the voice we have.” 

“That’s nothing to apologize for,” Ranmaru said resolutely. “....when I was in a band, I wish I’d had bandmates who’d do that kinda shit for me.” 

“Oh, shit, what’d you play?” 

“Vocals. Bass. Rock.” 

“Aw, c’mon, get more specific than that. Surf rock? Indie boy shoegaze? Folk punk with a little dash of polka?” 

Ranmaru gave her an incredulous look. “...Oi. Do I look like a polka guy?” 

She grinned widely, looking very satisfied with herself. “I dunno, you never know who’s got a secret accordion! I could see you, maybe you painted half of it, like, red to match that edgelord RPG hero heterochromia thing you got going.” 

Ranmaru grumbled, looking away. She laughed. “....I just like rock. If you had to pull my leg I guess I’d tell you hard rock. Maybe a little alt and prog.” 

“Ooh!” She exclaimed, barely letting the sip of tea get down her throat. “That’s the good shit! Did you ever record anything?”

Ranmaru hesitated. “...Yeah, but nothing that anyone can listen to anymore.” 

She seemed to understand without much more explanation. “...Well. You’re fucking good at the sound engineering side of things. Don’t tell management this -- or well, just don’t quote me on this --  but I like you a hell of a lot more than the guy we were supposed to have from the agency. He doesn’t know shit about how to make music that’s about soul and hype. It’s like, all one level the whole time, you know? Like it’s just sitting at an 8 the whole time, we don’t really get to do stuff like crescendos. Or like, punch someone in the dick by taking it from a three and shoot it to an eleven, you know?” 

“Yeah,” Ranmaru said, throwing a hand up. “What’s with that shit? There’s a bunch of stupid clients I had who were like that. Just one kind of loud, the whole album or concert through. What’s the fucking point if you aren’t gonna make people hear something other than just fuckin’ loud?” 

“Yeah! You get it!” she whooped, before she held her hand out for a fistbump. 

It surprised Ranmaru enough that it took a moment to register. But he smiled a little and pounded it. 

------

“Man-eating momma, steam-driven hammer

Sorts the men out from the boys--” 

She slid her arm around his waist, and he nearly choked on his beer. 

They were at Korean barbecue tonight, their own private room. The last meal, after the last concert, after the last meet-and-greet, after the last frantic merch sales. Ranmaru tried to buy himself a shirt, but instead was presented with a staff hoodie for the tour and a “one of everything” comp for the rest of the merch. They were now safely tucked with other goods he’d gotten signed for Reiji and Natsuki last night while everyone hung out in their big hotel suite. Hotel management made a mistake and upgraded the whole crew to their biggest room with extra cots to fit them all, and they spent the entire post show in a dizzying, joyful, communal haze. Ranmaru even told stories of the embarrassing depths of his groupchat’s devotion to the group and each of their favorites, and everyone took turns recording chaotic, personalized videos for Ranmaru to share later. They fell asleep at a truly stupid hour, and Ranmaru wondered if this is what having sleepovers as a kid felt like. 

“Takes no messing, all-in wrestling

Is one of her pride and joys” 

Ranmaru recognized the words as she pulled him closer, swaying after slamming her beer to the table. Maybe less the tune, since that was being yelled more than sung. 

“She's a classy, flashy lassy

Imitation sapphire shine-- c’mon, dude, you know!” She looked at him expectantly. She was very, very flushed, and at this point, he had to be, too. 

“We’re not at a karaoke bar!” he barked. 

“Where’s all that ‘you gotta sing more, fuckass’ energy now, huh,” she said, lowering her voice so much to mimic that Ranmaru briefly questioned if this is what he sounded like to her. 

“....Fine! If you’re gonna sing it, actually fuckin’ sing it, don’t just yell!” 

“Oh yeah,” she said with what passed for a shit-eating grin with her. “Then show me, partyboy. Hey, everyone, meet my new vocal coach! Hold onto your dick, folks, he better fuckin floor you with all the shit he’s been talking --”  

Ranmaru looked at her a moment as she kept ranting, first with incredulity, then with a weird surreal awe. What the hell was happening?  

Why the hell should he bother questioning it? 

“-- Two-faced liar, full of fire

But I know the flame is mine!” He cut off her rant, singing as much as he could like this were a stage. 

She -- and a bunch of other staff at the table -- whooped and cheered and laughed, but she and only she joined in with him without a care in the world. “Rocka Rolla woman for a Rocka Rolla man

You can take her if you want her

If you think you can--” 

He let the arm that’d been just awkwardly dangling behind her wrap around her shoulder. He felt warmer than he’d ever had, burning all the way to the tips of his ears. 

“Rocka Rolla woman for a Rocka Rolla man

You can take her if you want her you can!” 

They hung on the last note of the chorus -- she hung on comedically long before dragging them both up to bow while everyone else clapped, laughed, cheered. A server came, yelling that they had an order of grilled beef up. Eiichi, from the other end of the table, gestured that he’d ordered it, but passed it down until it sat in front of Ranmaru. 

-------- 

They had an overnight bus trip to get back home -- or close enough to home, anyways, Ranmaru still had another long train ride waiting afterwards, so he’d planned to sleep the whole bus ride. 

But she wound up sitting next to him, and even if he could pretend like that didn’t make his heart thump now by itself, she was chatty. 

He didn’t mind the conversation, though. They mostly talked about music, sharing concert stories and albums. He even talked a little about what he wanted to do now in between all the freelance work, and when she wished him luck and couldn’t wait to hear it, he didn’t feel like she was just blowing smoke. 

There came a pause while she downed a bottle of tea. 

“...I meant it when I said there’s something in your voice the audience oughta hear,” he said, looking at her intently. 

She laughed uncomfortably after she swallowed. “Thank you. I’ll…..I guess I just have to go for it, huh.” 

“What’s stopping you?” 

“I...hm….” She paused in intent thought for a while. “Well, for one, the technical control isn’t there.” 

“Yeah, but you’ll improve that by doing it.” 

“Yeah, yeah. But there’s more than just that, I guess.” 

“Like what.” 

“...Well, you know how this industry is. It’s…hard. Finding the balance of what you’re good at, what people want, and what the higher-ups think they want. I don’t think I’m anywhere near figuring that balance out...”

“Forget all that.” Ranmaru looked at her very seriously, shifting in place so he could look her in the eye a little better. “Don’t worry about any of those things.” 

She laughed disbelievingly. “Okay, sure, lemme just. Throw out my job description while I’m at it. Dude, the whole point of this job and this work is to make other people happy.” 

“I was happy hearing your voice just as it was that first day. You just. Sang the way you wanted to. I liked that. It felt good. Genuine.” He took a moment to recall the words he found at the beginning of the tour. “...You like it when people connect with your group’s voice ‘n adore your groupmates. So let ‘em adore you some.” 

“Oh, cuz I’m so adowable,” she joked, laughing as Ranmaru scowled. 

“I mean it. I….” he started. “...The audience is going to be better for hearing more of you. Whatever that means.” 

She thought about that for a moment. “...I...you know. I don’t think I’ve ever asked myself what that looks like. Or let myself realize it, anyway.”

“You can handle the criticism if it comes. If that’s something you’re scared of.” 

“...Maybe it is. Thank you, Ranmaru, I’m going to think about that and kick everybody’s teeth in the next time we record.  

“‘Snothing,” he murmured, but he felt like his heart was going to soar out of his chest, and later, as they both nodded off and slumped over each other as the road stretched on, he realized he felt sated in a way he couldn’t remember being. A weird sort, that took away the pang of hunger, but made him feel it more deeply through his whole being. 

---- 

When he arrived ‘home,’ it was lunchtime, and he was too dazed, hungry, and tired to weather one last long walk home without some food in his stomach. It was on the way-- he may as well go to Kotobuki Bento and make Reiji make good on the free bento offer. 

(His sister rang him up, and Ranmaru paid up.) 

Reiji found him after the meal, and he wound up heading to Reiji’s room. To give him the merch, theoretically, but after Reiji earned enough grouchy monosyllabic replies, he brought something that sounded like an actual question. 

“...So, Ranran, while you were away…” 

“Just say it,” Ranmaru muttered, eyes too tired to focus. “I’m too fucking tired for you to take the long away around.” 

“Nattsun’s friend wants to join our little fanclub!”

“....And.” 

Reiji shrank a little, speaking more sheepishly. “The thing is...we mentioned you and....he’s pretty sure you two already know each other and you’d want nothing to do with him.” 

Ranmaru hazily tried to recall who that could be. There were too many people whose guts he hated for him to figure it out by himself. 

“Who is it,” Ranmaru growled tiredly. “Just fucking say it.” 

“Does...Hijirikawa ring a bell?” 

It did. Ranmaru fumed in silence for a moment, thinking about the whirlwind of disaster that name was attached to, but also the vague memories of that quiet, serious boy in traditional dress who fretted after him when they were too small to know of things like debts and bankruptcy...

“...Whatever,” Ranmaru muttered. He looked at Reiji’s bed and decided he wasn’t going to tolerate any more of this exhaustion -- he had a reliable neighbor to leave food out for the cats, anyway, what was a couple more hours? “It’s not really much of a fanclub if it’s just the three of us. He can join if he wants. It’ll give you ‘n Natsuki someone who’s better at responding to your crazy nightlong gushing than me.” He tossed the dakimakura on Reiji’s bed, dented in the middle from so much hugging, to him, before he shrugged closer into his staff tour hoodie and slumped into Reiji’s bed. 

He could practically see Reiji stammering, even as he turned away and settled into the comfort of eyes closed and a real bed. Clearly, that wasn’t the answer he was expecting, and it wasn’t the one Ranmaru was expecting to give, either. 

“-- R...Ranran, you really--” 

“Yes! What the fuck wasn’t clear about what I said! Masato can join! Go add him already! Just let me sleep, you noisy bastard!” Ranmaru barked one last time at Reiji. 

Ranmaru ignored whatever last jabbering Reiji had for him, already carried off to proper sleep. He wondered what he could possibly dream about that would rival the past week and this satisfying feeling, cradled in his new hoodie.  

(I perform semi-professionally -- not as an idol, mind, but I’m still getting up on a stage/camera to entertain people on the reg -- and it was so weird but also really......doki-inspiring, let’s say, to imagine Ranmaru being a fan of my stage bravado :’’’’’D To be honest I’ve been feeling a little discouraged and burnt out by it lately but this really refilled my tanks!!!) 

[flutteringphalanges]

                                  Caught in a Riptide

Summary: After the infamous Count Dracula is discovered and taken into custody by the Jonathan Harker Foundation, former nun and now guardian to her young niece, Zoe, Agatha Van Helsing is tasked with keeping tabs on the vampire after a mishap leads to his release into modern day society. Can Agatha remain levelheaded, or will fate turn her onto a new path?

Pairing: Dracula/Agatha Van Helsing

Rated: M

Read on FFN and AO3

A/N: Alright, my dear readers, as promised! Thank you so much for your support as usual! Feedback is greatly loved and appreciated whether it be comments/kudos/reblogs/etc... I adore hearing your thoughts! Anyway, onward to chapter four!

                                             Chapter Four

Hawkins and Wentworth Law Firm. Established in the late 1800's, representing Count Dracula since September 12, 1896. A partnership that led to the purchase of some property for the vampire along with an arrangement for his resettlement. The vampire had thought of everything. For well over a century, the man had continuous tricks up his sleeve and today the Foundation had served as his willing assistant. That damn tablet. Whoever gave it to him in the first place should be fired on the spot.

"So you see, by holding him here, you are encroaching on Count Dracula's rights."

Frank Renfield was a rather scrawny man. Nervous, the epitome of someone walking on eggshells. His outfit was rather washed out, almost a little too baggy to fit his body properly. Agatha lost count of how many times he pushed his glasses back up to the brim of his nose. He certainly wasn't the ideal lawyer she would've pictured, but she reluctantly gave him credit for how prepared he was.

"He's a murderer!" She tried to argue, gesturing at Dracula who merely grinned in response. "You do realize what he is?!"

"Oh yes, of course!" Frank nodded vigorously, clearing his throat. "But my point stands. He is being held against his will and if he isn't released by tonight, my client is willing to take legal actions. And," the lawyer gave an awkward smile. "I'm not sure if all of England is ready to learn that a vampire is among the population."

"In other words, we're supposed to set him free and just trust that his actions remain civil?" Bloxham countered, folding her arms. "I think not."

"Actually, we did speak on that over Skype." The attorney responded looking over to the vampire as he spoke. "Based on Dracula's prior cases, there is a deal we are willing to make with you. A compromise if you will."

"What makes you think you have the upper hand in deciding this?!" The scientist frowned, eyes fixated on Frank's. "Why do you get to make the decisions?"

"No matter how you look at it, Dr. Bloxham, Count Dracula will be freed tonight." Renfield said firmly, pushing his glasses up again. "We thought it only fair to make some sort of offer to appease the Foundation. Are you interested in listening?" Neither of the women interjected so he continued. "Count Dracula will be freed but he is more than happy to be occasionally checked in on. Think of it as a parole of sorts."

"He's willing for someone to keep tabs on him? Agatha questioned, finally reentering into the conversation. "What's the catch?"

"There is no catch, I assure you," the lawyer explained. "Well...it's interesting actually." His nervous chuckle didn't settle well with the former nun. "He'll agree to these terms IF you are the one to supervise him."

It only happened every so often, but Agatha Van Helsing found herself at a loss for words. She stared dumbfounded at the lawyer who sheepishly smiled through thin lips. There was no arguing. No chance of being heard. Before she could even utter a single word in, Bloxham answered for her.

"Agatha would be more than happy to accept those terms."

Bloxham stared at her as if almost daring her to say otherwise. Frank beamed, opening up his briefcase. "Brilliant!" He expressed, looking from one woman to the other. "Now that we are all on the same track, if we could just fill out some documents. Just some formalities really. You know, just because this is a legal case and we like to keep records on file."

As the scientist led the lawyer away, Agatha finally turned to meet Dracula's gaze. He was smirking at her, obviously delighted by it all. A part of her wanted to race over and open the ceiling, but somehow she refrained despite how marvelous it sounded. He had played her like a fiddle and he knew it. Oh if she could just stake him in the heart...what a satisfying thought.

"I'd like to think of this as a beautiful start to our friendship," Dracula commented. "I had a feeling the Harker Foundation would be breathing down my back because of this, but what better way to soothe this fine institution's concerns than to allow you to be my figurative probation officer?"

"Just because you like to assume that you're very clever doesn't mean you are all that you give yourself credit for." Agatha countered, folding her arms over her chest. "I'm not playing into your game, Count Dracula."

"Oh, but I think that you already are." And his low tone sent a shiver up her spine. "I know your kind, Agatha Van Helsing. And I may not know you fully yet, but I will. I have my ways. And when I do…" His smirk broadened. "I expect we'll be sharing quite the exhilarating experience."

"Go to Hell." It was the best insult that came into her mind at the time.

"My chariot is a two seater," the Count replied. "I'll make sure to keep a spot open for you."

                                                        XXX

"Eugene says his big brother said that if you make a face long enough, it'll get stuck like that!" Zoe informed her aunt as she kicked her legs, sending her higher on the swing set. "Why do you look so grumpy?"

Agatha looked up from the book she was attempting to read on the bench. After picking Zoe up from school, she took the little girl to the park. At least there maybe she could clear her head. Setting the novel down in her lap, she looked towards the orange horizon. The sun was beginning to set. Only a few hours now.

"First, Eugene's brother is wrong. Faces don't get stuck," she stated. "And I'm not grumpy, I just had a hard day at work. I'm a little tired, that's all."

"Oh." And Zoe fell silent for a moment, still pumping her legs hard. She was flying so high, Agatha was beginning to grow concern about the chains breaking. "Was Dracula there? Did you talk to him?" The woman visibly stiffened at the name but the girl didn't seem to notice. "I told my friends I met a real vampire, but they didn't believe me. Evan said I was a liar. But I'm not lying, am I?"

Thank God Zoe was only seven with a wild imagination. No one took kids really seriously at that age. Still, perhaps it wasn't good for her to mention him. Quite frankly, she didn't even want to hear his name right now. Grabbing her book, she stood up. It was getting late anyway.

"Let's not talk about him anymore, Zoe." Agatha replied. "How about we finish up here and get some ice cream, hm? I'm in the mood for some." It wasn't exactly the truth, but she knew how to quickly change her niece's train of thought. "What do you say?"

"Two scoops?!" The girl asked with excitement, leaping off the swing.

"One, and you can get it with sprinkles." Agatha said, reaching to take a hold of the little girl's hand. "I think both need it after today." Though a tall glass of something alcohol sounded more appealing. "Let's go."

It wasn't a long drive to the parlor and after getting their cones, they were back on the road. Through the rear view mirror, Agatha watched in dismay as vanilla ice cream dribbled down Zoe's coated mouth onto her shirt and seat belt. Perhaps she should've grabbed a handful of napkins when she had the chance.

"Can we watch a movie tonight?" The little girl asked in between licks. "I promise I'll go to bed right afterwards!"

Well, considering she was already hyped up on sugar, getting her to sleep now would be near impossible. Agatha looked through the mirror again and towards the sky. Nearly dark. His freedom was drawing nearer. Trying not to think about it, she gave into Zoe's demand.

"We can watch a movie," she agreed. "But then you have to go to sleep without arguing."

"Yes, ma'am!" Zoe exclaimed, giving her aunt a salute. "I promise!"

Agatha made a point of locking the door as she and a very sticky Zoe entered the house. As her niece went to wash up, the former nun retrieved her phone from her purse. She hadn't exactly discussed what had happened with Jack. When their lunch was interrupted earlier, Bloxham seemed more concerned with her than the doctor. Dialing his number, she held the device to her ear. It immediately went to voicemail. Frowning, she set it down. She'd try again later when Zoe was asleep.

"All clean!" The little girl called out causing Agatha to snap back into reality. "And in my jammies! C'mon, Aunt Aggie, let's watch something…" She seemed to think about it. "How about something spooky?!"

"How about something that doesn't give you nightmares?" Her aunt chuckled, moving over to sit beside the little girl. "How about one of those princess movies you like?"

"Princesses are boring." Zoe exclaimed, rolling her eyes.

"But you love princesses," Agatha said with a small frown. "You wanted one for your birthday this year."

"I like vampires now." The young girl proclaimed.

Her aunt was about to interject when the sound of her doorbell going off stopped her. Furrowing her brow, Agatha rose from the couch and made her way towards the door. Was it Jack? An odd hour to be making a house call. As she turned the knob to open it, she immediately regretted her decision. For there, standing nonchalantly in front of her was none other than the Devil himself. Count Dracula.

Speechless. Completely, utterly dumbfounded. She must've looked ridiculous, standing there gawking at the man she'd seen locked up only hours before. Agatha's mouth was so dry that even if she wanted to say something, she couldn't. Silence.

"Well? You know how this works, don't you?" The moonlight glinted off of Dracula's smile as he stood at Agatha's doorstep patiently. "Are you going to invite me in?"

So many questions. An entire novel's worth. She began to rifle through them, trying to decide which of the several were the most important to bring up first. Agatha blocked the doorway, her eyes narrowing as she stared daggers at the vampire.

"How the Hell did you find my house?!" It seemed like a logical inquiry all things considered.

"Googled it." He shrugged, looking as if he was very proud of himself. "You'd be surprised by the lack of Van Helsings in the area. Oh." He held up one finger before shoving a hand into his pocket. "And this helped too." It was Jack's phone.

"You..." Agatha stumbled, struggling between insulting or going off completely. "You stole Jack's phone and then decided it was okay to stalk me to my home?!" "I didn't stalk you." The vampire corrected. "I merely followed your address." He inhaled, still seeming unfazed by Agatha's aggravation. "Are you going to let me in?" "I..." She began before the sound of small feet came bounding in her direction. Zoe. Christ.

"Aunt Aggie!" The girl chirped. "You gotta put a movie in! You're..." Her blue eyes widen at the sight of Dracula. "Mr. Dracula!"

"Zoe, go to your room." Agatha said coolly, trying to block the little girl's view. "Dracula was just leaving-"

"Wanna come in and watch the movie with us?!"

Agatha was unsure whether to face palm, cry out in frustration, or just go dig a hole and bury herself in it as Dracula grinned widely and stepped into her home. All thanks to Zoe's innocent invitation inside. How thoughtful.

"Thank you for the generous offer, Zoe." Dracula said kneeling down to the girl's eye level. "But I'm here to actually talk to your Aunt Aggie."

Agatha swept in front of the two glowering at the vampire as he straightened up. Zoe peered from behind her aunt, looking curiously at the towering Count. His expression, still friendly, was no longer focused on her, but now met her aunt's gaze.

"Get out," Agatha growled. "I rescind your invitation."

"Ah, as much as I'm sure you'd like that, it doesn't work that way." His smile turned into a smirk as he leaned against the wall. "You see, it was dear Zoe who invited me in. Not you. And while this is your house, she lives here too. So unless your niece wants me to leave, I think I'll stay for a bit." His eyes flickered down to the little girl again. "Can I stay, Zoe?"

"Zoe," Agatha said through her teeth. "Tell him to leave. Now."

"How about a little incentive. Say...five pounds?" Dracula whipped the money from his pocket and dangled it in front of her like a dog. "It's yours if I can stay."

The little girl smiled and, without a word, snatched the money and hurried off to put it in her piggy bank. Dracula grinned, delighted by his accomplishment as he turned back to face an enraged Agatha. What a cheat. The woman's arms folded tightly over her chest as she watched with fury as he made his way over to the kitchen table.

"You're a real prick." She hissed as he sat down. "You have no right to even talk to her-or bribe her for that matter! She's seven!"

"She's smart," Dracula sighed contentedly, leaning back. "Won't you join me? Take a seat, Agatha, I merely came here to talk." He laced his fingers together, hands resting on the table. "We've both had quite a day today, haven't we?"

Agatha didn't sit down. Instead, she just stared at him. Hard. As if maybe, if she concentrated hard enough, he'd just poof away. Or explode. That would've been better. He, of course, waited patiently for her reply and soon the former nun realized that, unless she addressed him, he wouldn't be leaving any time soon.

"Why are you here?" It was a repetitive question and she knew it.

"To talk," he replied. "You practically stormed out the moment my dear lawyer and that boss of yours discussed everything over with you. You can be quite difficult, I'm learning. But we can work on that," he smiled. "Could I trouble you for a piece of paper and a pen?"

"Why?" Agatha asked curtly.

"So I can write down my address for you," the Count rolled his eyes. "Goodness, Agatha, for a Van Helsing, I thought you would be more dedicated in wanting to locate me. Do you know how hard your grandfather tried? I am literally giving you directions to my home. You should be more appreciative."

Offering his address. Such a cordial act. What his motive was behind it, she wasn't sure. But Agatha remembered Bloxham's request-or rather, mandatory instructions, and she begrudgingly got what he asked for. Tossing them roughly onto the table, the former nun watched as he scribbled his information down in a surprising elegant font.

"I included my number as well." Dracula exclaimed, holding the paper out to her. "Go on, take it. I don't bite." And there was a glint of mischievousness in his eyes as he spoke the last bit. "I hope you don't mind, but I took the liberty of copying down your own cell number from your friend's phone." With that, he neatly slid Jack's device across the table. "Apologize to him, will you? I'm sure he's frantically looking for it."

Agatha immediately snatched it up and shoved it into her pocket. Hopefully he hadn't tampered with it to the point of it being useless. As for the paper, she hesitantly took it, eyes studying the words scrawled across. Almost instantly she recognized the street. Even the name of the complex. Nostrils flared, she gazed up at the Count wide eyed.

"There must be some mistake." She snapped, looking from him back down to the paper. "This is only a few blocks from where I live!"

"It seemed only appropriate seeing as you are supposed to be keeping an eye on me." Dracula said in a hair tearingly calm voice. "It was an added bonus that it sits at the perfect location. How coincidences can be rather humorous." He continued to smile, the same look that had yet to leave his face. "You should come by some time. Perhaps for dinner?"

If she was to kill him now, right on the spot, would anyone really mind? Jack certainly wouldn't tell. Bloxham might be rather annoyed, but all things considered, she could kiss Agatha's ass. Then there was his lawyer-Frank. She could figure something out. But then deep down, way deep down at this point, the Van Helsing side of her wanted to learn more. Desired to know more. And by destroying the vampire where he currently stood would take away from that.

"I prefer not to partake in the slaughtering of innocent human life." The woman replied coldly. "And I intend to make sure you do the same." For a brief moment, the amusement faltered from Dracula's face. "You're in the modern world, Count Dracula. Drinking people dry is frowned upon by society. I assure you, whatever it takes, your last victim will have been in 1897. I swear upon my great, great grandfather's name."

"He's dead," the vampire said with a cocked eyebrow. "I believe you are supposed to swear on the live's of the living…say that darling Zoe of yours?"

He struck a major pressure point and Dracula very well knew it. Agatha's gaze darkened and she leaned dangerous close to his face. If he wanted, the Count could've easily snapped her neck within a second. Instead, he merely eyed her with curiosity.

"If you ever lay one of your clawed fingers on a single hair on her head, I will destroy you where you stand." Agatha hissed with such ferocity even she was a little taken aback. "Don't threaten my child."

"I have no intention to," Dracula said, holding up a hand. "But your aggressive protectiveness is a rather charming quality if I do say so myself."

"As charming as a crucifix burned into your bare flesh," she shot back.

"Kinky," Dracula chuckled. "My, you are quite an anomaly, Agatha Van Helsing."

"What's kinky?"

Both adults turned to see Zoe standing there eyeing them with great interest. Her head was tilted ever so slightly and in her arms she hugged one of her stuffed animals. Jesus Christ, not again. He'd been awake for a day. ONE day. And he already was corrupting her niece's mind with such vulgar language.

"Nothing." She said, eyes locked on Dracula's as she spoke. "And I don't want to hear you repeating it."

"Oh, a bad word." Zoe nodded thoughtfully. "Are we going to watch a movie now?"

"Actually," Dracula began as he stood up. "I suppose I should be leaving now. It's getting rather late-or, I should say, becoming too close to early for my comfort." He strode towards the door as Agatha remained at the table, Zoe by her side. "I'll be seeing you soon, Agatha." He grinned, his eyes flickering down to the little girl. "And thank you for inviting me in, Zoe. I much appreciated that."

Agatha said nothing as the vampire opened the door and slipped outside. After she was sure he was gone, she hurried over and locked the dead bolt. Running a hand through her hair, she let out a long, hard exhale. Zoe walked over to her, an ever present happy expression on her young face.

"I like him!" She stated cheerfully.

That only made one of them.

[endless-vall]

Blossoming - Thomas Mendez x MC fanfic

Summary: Thomas is sure he isn’t ready to move on and start pursuing Ellie romantically yet, but when Zoey is threatened to be taken away from Ellie by her ex-husband, and his protective side emerges, his feelings make a shift.

Author’s note: I’m not sure how it works in other countries, but I know for sure that in mine courts tend to take the mother’s side on custody fights, given that she wants the custody and isn’t abusive/mentally unstable/etc.  

I made a post a few days ago stating there wasn’t nearly enough Moty fanfics and so I’ve decided to contribute myself! Hope you’ll like it ^^

*Spoiler : They didn’t kiss in this fic, it’s too early, but the tension is amazing and makes it so much more worth it when they do finally give in! ;D

Thomas was finally off work early, and on his way to pick Luz from her sitter. He'd promised he'd take her to the new exhibition she was so excitedly non-stop blabbering about, and he was supposed to meet Ellie and Zoey there.

They were best friends, after all, but Thomas suspected that maybe the two girls were looking and making up reasons for him and Ellie to meet at this point.

Not that he had a problem with that, he truly liked Ellie and there might be something special there, between them, but a pinch in his heart always kept him at arms-length from her, a hollow Soledad left there, a hole he was not quite ready to fill up yet.

And what was so amazing about Ellie was that she understood and gave him all the time he needed, which was why this has been getting more and more difficult. He wanted to move on, but simply couldn't right now.

"Daddd" His bean ran out to meet him at the doorway, not wasting any second. She was already dressed up for the trip to the museum and had a backpack on her back, ready to leave.

Thomas chuckled, and thanked the sitter who stood behind her, at the door.

Turning, he took Luz's hand and smiled brightly. "Ready to go?" He asked, hyping her up.

"Like, yesterday." She replied, making them both laugh.

He arrived at the museum, but didn't find Ellie in the front, like he assumed he would.

"Maybe we got here first," he explained to an expecting Luz, who looked like she was going to burst if she wasn't able to run around the museum and blabber about things he didn't really understand.

"You should call her!" Of course Luz would encourage him to do that, but honestly it wasn't such a bad idea.

He dialed the number, but the line seemed to be busy. Furrowing his eyebrows, he hung up.

"What did she say???" Luz's big eyes glimmered as she questioned.

"She didn't pick up, but you know what? Maybe they're already inside, we should go in and look for them, alright?"

"Alright daddy" She basically leaped out of the car and was at the doors of the museum before he had a chance to close the car's door behind him.

Thomas simply smiled and followed his daughter, ignoring the concern blossoming in his stomach for Ellie. Everything was probably fine.

After entering the museum and finding the exhibition they were looking for, the two saw Zoey already checking all the cool stuff in there.

"See? I told you we'll find them here." He gestured and Luz giddily approached her friend.

One thing was still not putting his mind at ease, though, since he couldn't find Ellie anywhere. He looked around the gallery, but she wasn't in sight.

Approaching Zoey, he kept a calm tone and asked, as if by the way, "Hey Zoey, where is your mom?"

"Oh, she had an important call to answer, and she stepped out since they don't allow phonecalls in here," Zoey pointed out the sign. "I promised to behave and stay only in this room so she let me stay." Zoey smiled.

"Oh, alright." He smiled back at her. That made sense, seeing as she did have busy phone line when he called.

He followed the girls, watching both of them now, as they talked and got excited over stuff on the exhibition.

Finally, a few minutes later they passed an inner courtyard of the museum, and he saw Ellie sitting outside on a bench, seemingly in a heated argument. She got a glimpse at him, smiling fondly, but only for a second before going back to what seemed like an unpleasant conversation.

"Zoey, here's your mom!" Luz called excitedly, pointing. She really did like Ellie a whole lot.

Zoey bit at her lower lip. "Yeah..."

Looking back at Thomas, she looked as if she had something to say.

"Is everything alright, Zoey?" Suddenly, an urgent protective wave passed through him, as he looked at her troubled expression.

"Luz's dad-" "You can call me Thomas"

Zoey smiled more confidently at his words.

"Thomas," she started again. "You're a lawyer, right?" This wasn't what he was expecting Zoey to ask, but he nodded nonetheless. "Yes, I am."

"My mom will probably not want me to tell you that," He didn't really like where this was going. "But she could use your help, like, really." Zoey said, still concerned. "Of course I'll help," he crouched down and put a comforting hand on her shoulder, earning back a grateful smile.

He threw another look outside, feeling another protective wave wash through him, but this time for Ellie. She needed legal help? This seemed even more serious than he'd first anticipated. She seemed as if the phonecall was done, and Thomas decided he wasn't going to stall talking to her.

"Girls, could you stay here for a moment? I'll be right back." He told them. Luz and Zoey nodded in sync and got into another conversation about things they both liked.

Thomas got out, now getting a better look at Ellie. She had big dark bags under her eyes, as if she didn't sleep for a few days (even more than usually being a single parent deprived you of). She looked so frustrated, her whole body language tense and rock-solid, and she didn't even notice him approaching.

"Hi," he started kindly, sitting beside her but letting her have her space. "How are you?"

Ellie almost jumped in her place, forcing a smile quickly as she realized who was sitting beside her. "Oh, hey, I'm fine." Another fake smile. "You?" He was a lawyer, reading people's faces was a nice quality to have and made his life easier when working with a client. Although Ellie was much more than a client, obviously.

"I'm fine too," he nodded, but wasn't about to step down.

"A little birdie told me that you might need my help..." Thomas leaned back against the bench, while Ellie shook her head.

"That little...." Both chuckled lightly.

"I..." she bit her lower lip, not quite able to explain.

Thomas took her hand in his, comfortingly, and Ellie turned to look at him, a tiny bit calmer.

"You don't have to tell me, but I will do everything I can to help if you'd want my help." Thomas assured her.

"My ex-husband is in town. Zoey ‘s dad." Ellie spat it out.

"Oh." His grip on her hand immediately loosened. It hit him like an arrow to the heart.

Why did it hit so hard? Wasn't he the one that said he wasn't ready to move on just earlier? And if so... why did it feel like someone took his heart and crumpled it like a piece of paper?

Panic washed over Ellie's face as she noticed he recoiled. "No, it's not that-"

"You don't have to explain-"

"He wants custody."

"Oh." Thomas felt silly for taking it the way he did.

"Over Zoey. He wants to take her away." Worry washed over Ellie's features again.

"Well, usually courts tend to support the mother's side when it comes to child custody. Especially considering there aren't any claims of abuse against you or anything that indicates that you're not fit to be a mom. Zoey wants to stay with you, too, so you actually have a strong case. You don't have to worry," while he had to go into lawyer mode to explain everything, internally he was grateful that he was wrong with his initial assumption, and had a few seconds to get his cool back.

"But he's trying to bribe her, and he now has a wife and a steady, good-paying job and I can barely keep up." Ellie's smile flatters.

"You also have a damn good lawyer at your side," he drops the lawyer act and smiles brightly at Ellie.

At last, she looked somewhat convinced. "I'll pay you back-"

"Ellie." He took a hold of her hand again.

"I'm serious-"

"Me too. Zoey is your daughter. You’ve done everything for her. I don't want her taken away from you either." He smiled, giving her hand a reassuring squeeze.

Ellie let out a nervous laugh out, as if she was letting all the frustration that built up in her out with it.

"You know, I was so upset and got so worked up that I didn't even think of asking for your help. I forgot that you were a lawyer and know much more about it than me. I didn't even think about it." She leans against Thomas' side.

"It's okay. Sometimes we get so overwhelmed and focused on our problems that we forget about the rest of the world." He'd be lying if he said he didn't lean into her touch as well.

Ellie chuckled. "Exactly"

She glances inside, making sure Zoey and Luz were still in line of sight.

"We should probably head in, right? I was out here quite some time now." Ellie shrugged.

"We probably should," Thomas nodded, even though he liked the way they cuddled on the bench.

Hell, to someone looking from the side, it might look like more than cuddling. But who cares what other people thought, anyway?

Neither of them made a move to stand up and go back.

"Thomas?" Ellie shuffles and turns to look at him.

She's... so close... he could probably kiss her right now. And for a chance, he doesn't feel guilty about it.

Something about wanting to protect her and her family and keep them close to him really did affect him.

But just before he can lean in and press his lips against her she talks. "Thank you." Her voice is sweet and gentle and genuine.

"It's my pleasure." He answers in the same tone, and with that, she stands up and escapes out of his reach.

"Let's go back?" She motions back to their daughters and Thomas follows suit.

Pretending like he didn't just imagine kissing her. Pretending he wasn't fighting the urge to do it anyway, right then and there, anyway.

He knew Ellie wanted it too... she was giving him time, after all.

He wasn't done grieving, this wasn't an easy process and there wasn't a magic solution, but he was undoubtedly developing feelings for Ellie, feelings that until recently were reserved only for Soledad.

She came into his life and his heart started beating strongly again, not just getting by or putting on a strong face for Luz’ sake, but also for himself.

"I just want to make sure I’m helping, not hindering.” she told him, a while ago. She was definitely helping.

[minaminokyoko]

A Love Letter to ‘Knives Out’

Disclaimer: This isn’t even a review. This is literally just me freaking out about what a great movie I just bloody watched and I just need to vomit words everywhere about it. Sorry in advance.

I think the best thing ever is I went into this with zero information. I remember seeing the original trailer months ago, but it wasn’t detailed. Just the short one of the premise, and to be honest, I’m not really into Whodunits. Clue is one of the exceptions and Castle is the only detective-related thing I’ve ever liked and followed religiously (up until the final godawful two seasons), so I have no predisposition to even care about murder mysteries. But then Rian Johnson dangled the juicy carrot of Chris Evans playing against type (because we all know the man is a sweetie and I can personally vouch that he’s great at hugs) and so I decided to add it to my watchlist. Then the reviews came pouring in that it was great, which surprised me, and so I decided to take a leap of faith to see if the hype was real.

Oh God, was it ever.

Y’all know me by now. I’m a hard, cynical old bitch. It’s tough to impress me, but fucking hell, I really loved Knives Out.

It’s not that it does anything new; it’s that it is a fresh, creative spin on tropes we’re used to and it’s also the strong performances that just make it a delightful film. It’s kooky and dark and offbeat. It’s charming. It’s wonderfully political. It’s irreverent. This is the niche kind of writing that I adore. It’s why I’ve loved shows like Frasier or movies like Snatch. I love the interwoven mess between the plot and the characters and everything coming to light in a big explosion.

Spoilers down below for my talking points, naturally.

I want to start with Marta, simply because I love how this movie framed the character as innocent, but not stupid, useless, or weak. I love that she had a great relationship with Harlan. I love that Harlan didn’t have any evil ulterior motives. It was simply a man who looked around and realized that he thought he was providing for his family but all he really was doing was supporting selfish, downright cruel people. That family basically just siphoned off of him and had the entitlement complex that is currently killing this country right this fucking second. It was very satisfying when he left them nothing and gave Marta the money and the choice of what to do. The final shot of the movie is genius.

Which segways into probably my second favorite thing about the movie: the commentary about the entitled upperclass versus the working class immigrant. The whole Trump debate during the party made me groan because we all just wrapped up three holidays, so I know that people were having to go home for the holidays and listen to the broken-ass logic of their Trump supporter relatives. Especially since they dragged Marta into the bullshit conversation. I LOVE the writing of having this girl who busted her ass, who listened, who was a genuinely good person, still being able to be a good person in the end after one hell of an ordeal. I loved how the movie poked all kinds of holes in the fake narrative of inheritance and immigration and patriotism. Fuck that. This country isn’t some holy land. This country was stolen from the people who were born here and then they built a fake fucking pedestal on top of the mass graves and proclaimed it theirs. Fuck that revision history and fuck the people who believe these lies. This movie is so satisfying because it’s a giant middle finger to those people and it’s a reminder that the future is these hardworking, kind people who care about society and they are the ones who have earned all the good things this country has to offer.

I also love the examples of bigotry and microaggressions that were more subtle. The WASPs in this movie don’t even realize the backhanded compliments and the truly insulting shit that they do since they’re so entitled. For example, Richard handing Marta his plate while he was arguing for Trump. That’s brilliantly done. He thinks of her as a servant while he pretends she’s on equal footing: saying one thing and yet his actions prove the opposite. There’s also Meg’s comment of “we’re his REAL family,” showing that those bastards all will smile and welcome you until the second you cease to be useful to them and then they show you just how truly ugly they are beneath those “civil” masks. When the will was read, it was the exact shitshow we all knew it would be. That was a great representation of the upper class. It’s not about being loud and racist; it’s all those subtle, hideous things they do to suppress people of color and the working class so they can stay on top where they think they belong. This narrative is powerfully woven in that regard and I really needed to hear this story in today’s climate, especially since we just started 2020 today, which could be the end of everything all over again. I applaud the writing. As a woman of color, I see this kind of shit every single day, especially now that I work in higher education, so I really hope it opens more eyes to the shit that not only immigrants but working class POC deal with on a daily basis. I likened it to Zootopia, where you came to the movie for one reason but then you were served an absolutely piping hot side dish alongside the entrée. Well done, Knives Out. Well done.

I need to give a nod to this powerhouse cast as well. I forgot Michael Shannon was in this movie so seeing him made me giddy, as I’ve always liked him since he’s so damn sinister. He’s a great antagonist actor and I almost wish he’d been given more to do. Jamie Lee Curtis did great as well.

But y’all know what’s coming. I mean, look at my profile picture. You know I have to stop and talk about my future husband’s performance.

Chris Evans as a villain.

Not only that, but Chris Evans as a GREAT villain.

Oh, God, pass me the cigarette.

We all knew from his work in the MCU that the man can act his fine America’s ass off, but boy, did I really like his role here. I compare it to Chris Hemsworth in the godawful movie Bad Times at the El Royale, because while that is one of the worst movies of the decade, it was extremely smart in casting Hemsworth in the villain role. Why? Because it sold the believable factor. Chris Hemsworth is so handsome and charismatic that he COULD in fact be a creepy ass cult leader. You take one look at that man’s chest and tell me you wouldn’t fight a smelly hippie to jump in his bed. Damn right I’d be in a Chris Hemsworth cult. Point being, Chris Evans as the handsome but cruel Hugh was phenomenal. I really enjoyed seeing everything unfold. He did such a great job. It’s all the more satisfying knowing that in real life, he’s the cutest, sweetest goofball on earth. I’m so delighted he took this role because he knocked it out of the park.

Which brings me to my next point.

I’m gonna be a basic fangirl bitch for a second here. Just hear me out.

I’d LOVE an alternate ending to this movie where Hugh didn’t do it.

I know, I know. That’s super basic and dumb and I know part of it is because I just wanted to like Hugh anyway, but it actually would be a great piece of storytelling if you changed the ending.

In this premise, Marta really did mix up the bottles and accidentally killed Harlan. Well, what I would change is that Hugh really did have a benevolent epiphany and he decides to come back to stick it to his shitass family and he figures out what Marta did and decides to help her so she’ll slip him his cut. Then the rest of the film is Hugh and Marta trying to cover the rest of their tracks so that Blanc doesn’t piece together Marta’s accidental crime. Over the course of helping her, Hugh gets to know her and they become friends, so by the time they pull it all off—mind you, I’m ambiguous in this AU, I’d be fine if the detective works it out but lets them cover it up or if they actually manage to just destroy all the evidence so he can’t convict her and he admits defeat—he’s now invested and doesn’t accept the money when she goes to pay him. Bonus points if he falls in love with her during the cover up. It’s not necessary, but I saw a couple little sparks, so I think it would be very cute if Hugh and Marta hooked up to protect each other from the horrible family and build their own empire together. But that’s me.

Trust me, this movie is brilliant as written. It doesn’t need that alternate ending. But I have to admit it got my mind churning about what a fantastic character arc it could be if Hugh hadn’t been the bad guy and he and Marta learned things about each other and formed a friendship. I’m a writer, it’s kind of a hobby, sorry. I hope I’m not the only one who thought that, but we’ll see.

I’m so glad I started 2020 with this film. It’s a rare gem. I can’t wait for it to get on DVD, because I am gonna snag it asap and watch it again. What a romp. It’s also gratifying in a petty way that J.J. Abrams went out of his way to undo Rian Johnson’s work in the Star Wars franchise and it’s backfiring majorly critically speaking meanwhile Knives Out is getting bomb ass good reviews, so good for you, Rian. Your revenge is at hand. #TEAMPETTY

I can’t recommend this hard enough. If you love murder mysteries or if you just love Clue-style quirky black comedy, please see Knives Out. It’s worth every red dime, to quote the movie.

Kyo out.

[babygirlofwakanda]

Season’s Greeting

CHARACTERS — Giselle X Chris Hemsworth

CONTENT — Christmas Shenanigans and Surpises!

PLOT — A little somethin’ surrounding Christmas.

NARRATIVE — Christmas has always been an event for Giselle. Dating back to her excitement and starry eyed gaze at the string lights as a child in Texas, the brown beauty’s unconditional love for the holiday hasn’t strayed throughout the decades.

Sharing her passion with her husband, Chris quickly understood the importance to Giselle and has since aided in making this time of year special for her and now for their children.

A long way from the modern style home he once knew, the six-foot four man stood in between the living room and kitchen with his hands on his hips and admired the festive changes. With an array of red, white and gold accented decor spread through the house Chris took everything in. Starting from the train track underneath the eight-foot tree, red throw pillows and holiday figurines on the tables to the mistletoe he stashed above the doorways.

Stifling out a laugh at his wife’s attention to detail the Aussie shuffled over to the mirror in the hallway and flattened his palm over his black long-sleeve shirt before sighing while looking at his TAG Heuer.

“Giselle— sweetheart! The reservation is for eight and its almost six forty-five, we gotta hit the road!”

“—I know Chris, I’m coming! Uh, just gimme like five more minutes.” He heard her promise, making Chris exhale only for him to inhale the scented pine cones dipped in various oils scattered around his house.

Whispering, “What the hell is she doing up there..” under his breath, Chris waltzed into the kitchen.

Reaching down the actor stole a couple of gumdrop from his children’s gingerbread houses, propped up against the countertop before popping a few into his mouth. Grabbing another gumdrop from the rooftop of the gingerbread house, Chris allowed the smooth harmonies of The Temptations Silent Night playing from the speakers to distract him from the time.

Alone in the kitchen with a mouth full of candy Chris tried to hold the classic ‘silent night’ note only for his gruff voice to come out in the wrong pitch. “—damn babe!” He heard Giselle’s squeak out from behind.

Turning around as Giselle’s infectious laugh echoed through the kitchen, the Aussie strolled closer and continued his singing; keeping a smile on her face.

Inching his face closer towards Giselle, he cradled her face and started to lower his face only to pause mid-motion as he admired her undeniable beauty.

Meeting him halfway Giselle lifted her face to kiss him; immediately muffling his singing. Pulling back from the tender kiss Giselle felt Chris nudge his nose against hers in a way to subliminally ask for another kiss before she placed a hand against his black silk shirt and whispered, “Let’s go.” against his lips.

“Uh, okay,” Chris groaned, as he stood straight with a pout, “—but not before you spin around for me!” He hyped, quickly replacing his frown with a sly grin.

Sliding his palm into hers, Chris lifted their hands up and motioned for her to twirl around. Gluing his eyes to her body as Giselle pivoted in a circle, he watched the silk and denim pairing clutch onto every slope of her body. Leaving Chris blinking away the lust from his orbs before she turned to him; exhaling Chris licked over his lips before he ushered them out.

Oh, how date night was Chris’s fucking favorite night. With the children out with their grandparents; Alex and Janice who arrived last night, they were out doing some last minute shopping before taking the kids to see Frozen 2 for the umpteenth time.

The clinging of silverware, small chatter and the sizzling of the food carried on the trays of passing waiters filled Giselle’s ear. Glancing around the deck Giselle admired the string lights wrapped around the balcony and beams while the dark purple hue above painted the sky as the sunsetted above the ocean.

Enthralled in the scene, Giselle felt the wind softly blow through her hair while she breathed in the salty air before shifting around. Taking ahold of her straw, she stirred the strawberry lemonade conation and gripped the glass before bringing it to her lips.

Gulping down her drink in one take she heard her husband clear his throat before his voice followed, “Uh, is everything alright?” He questioned, making Giselle slowly sink in her chair. Did he figure her out?

“No, um— I’m fine. Why, wassup?” She rebutted.

“It’s just that um— everytime we come here you order the wine,” The Australian stuttered out, before he went to nervously rub the back of his neck.

“—and as of late, you’ve been chugging down the lemonade— but it’s not just that; it’s everything.”

“Like how lately you practically start gagging on queue whenever seafood is present— which may I remind you has been your favorite food since we’ve met. Or the constant running off the bathroom and now the lemonade! Baby, you only do that when,”

“—I have your basket of garlic bread right here, your food should be out shortly.” The waiter interrupted.

Directing her gaze from Chris’s anxious face to the smiling waiter, Giselle returned his grin while silently thanking the high heavens for stopping her husband from talking his way into ruining her surprise present.

The rest of the dinner flowed nicely. After forgetting the suggestive topic he was going to discuss, Chris and Giselle ate and giggled as they thought about how their family was going to react to their gifts.

Hitting a quiet mark as her husband sipped on his tequila, Giselle knew this was her opportunity to talk to Chris. Clearing her throat, “Now, I know that we’ve agreed that we weren’t gonna spoil eachother before Christmas but I got somethin’ for you honeybun.”

Reaching into her purse Giselle slipped out a brown flat, but wide box tied with a glittery red bow before she placed it on the table and slid it towards Chris.

With her acrylics still on the box, Giselle watched Chris’s thick digits touch the other end before she flicked her orbs up to look into his. “I couldn’t wait babe, I needed to have this moment with you and only you.” She detailed, before releasing the box.

In the box contained three positive pregnancy tests and underneath was a photoset of their unborn child.

With days of denying the possibility after her sick episode in Texas, Giselle couldn’t shake the feeling but once the symptoms started to slowly arise she abruptly sent her assistant to the store. Making out the two lines with ease Giselle kept her little secret and found out she was coming along nine weeks pregnant until this very moment; this second.

Instantly feeling a wave of vulnerability travel down her spine Giselle also felt the urge of premature tears threatening to unleash as one slipped from her eye while she watched her husband’s instant reaction.

Staring at her husband Giselle saw the corners of Chris’s mouth quickly lift as he picked up one of the tests and widened his smile over the digital two lines before he put it down and caressed his thumb over the developing baby in the ultrasound pictures.

Watching the moment Chris finally looked up, the brown beauty caught the extra gloss over his eyes before he blinked and allowed a tear to fall as well.

“Giselle! Oh my— this is fucking incredible baby!”

Thankful for the secluded area, Giselle beamed as Chris abruptly jumped up; making the chair screech in the process before he jogged over to embrace her.

Standing up, Giselle was immediately wrapped in Chris’s arms as he rocked her side to side. Pressing kisses all over her head he mumbled, “I fucking love you,” gripped her face and exchanged a tearful gaze with his wife before he smashed their lips together.

——————————

The Christmas spirit was unmatched in the Hemsworth household. With everyone clad in a holiday printed onesies and slippers, drinking from their customized mugs of hot chocolate and Giselle’s playlist that included everyone from Destiny’s Child, Wham! to Alexander O’Neal playing through the tv; the family piled into the living with full stomachs from the big breakfast before passing out gifts.

“GiGi! You did not!” Iris gasped, as she slowly pulled the dust bag out of the mustard-colored Fendi box.

Hearing her sister squeal once the neon pink bag from Nicki Minaj’s collab was in her possession, the oldest sister swore she saw Iris leap across the living room just to bring Chris and her into a bear hug while she beamed. Once Iris released them and returned to baby Mia attempting to put a red bow in her mouth, Giselle continued watching her kids unwrap their gifts before she looked over her shoulder to find Chris with a silver glitter box lying in his palms.

Closely watching her husband raise the top Giselle instantly caught Chris’s blue eyes light up while his jaw falter open making the quarter million she spent all worth it for her honeybun’s priceless smile. In the box contained the car keys to a 1965 Chevy Corvair Monza with a custom baby blue paint job, cream seating, silver detailing and a full tank of gas.

After hearing countless fond memories of her husband’s childhood singled around this vehicle, Giselle knew it was only a matter of time before she had to get Chris the car he constantly ranted about.

Heart-racing from excitement the Aussie quickly picked up the keys and pressed a button abruptly making the car ring out. Immediately looking at his wife with childlike joy, Chris struggled to his feet and ran to the front door which instantly made the rest of the family follow behind in peak curiosity. Running to the driveway Chris quickly faltered his steps once his eyes landed on the replica car his father, Craig drove around when Chris was nothing but a young lad.

Picking up his pace while he unlocked the car, Chris slid in the car with door propped opened and gawked over the smooth interior. Hearing the footsteps of his family scurrying down the pavement, the surprised man took his orbs off the vehicle and brought them to Giselle who grinned as she stared back at him.

—and before he knew it, Chris was stumbling out of the car and over to her like a lovesick puppy as the family patted his back and went to admire the car.

Roughly gripping her face the Aussie scooped down and kissed Giselle to transfer his appreciation before he leaned back and pulled her frame into his while he swayed her body with his eyes closed. “Whew, I love you so fucking much girl!” He grunted, before he squeezed her tighter with his last few words.

“I love you too, honeybun. I hope you liked your gift.”

Immediately cocking his head back, Chris quickly scrunched his face up, “Liked? Girl, I love this gift.” He corrected, making Giselle’s infectious laugh ring out. Biting his lips in effort to contain his smile Chris slid his tongue over his lips as he looked down at his wife, “C’mon, I still have gifts for you.” He winked, with a nod to the house before pulling her hand.

Returning back to the living room with the family slowing filing back inside, the brown beauty retook her place back on the floor while Chris searched for a specific gift and within a few moments, the wrapped present was placed infront of her crisscrossed legs.

Grinning up at her husband, Giselle dragged her chocolate orbs away from him and turned towards her gift before she pressed her acrylics through the striped wrapping paper. Uncovering the orange box, Giselle squealed as she ran a finger over the Hermès logo engraved on the lid. After lifting the top, pulling the tissue paper back to grab the dust bag, Giselle felt her smile reach her eyes once her hand made contact with the slick fabric before pulling it out.

“Oh, shit!” She rasped, with her wide-eyes glued to the exclusive Rose Scheherazade Porosus Crocodile Birkin bag. Ghosting a hand over the reptile skin, the overjoyed wife flicked her eyes to her blue eyed beau; who now sat beside her and beamed as he observed her reaction. Throwing her arms around his neck she started placing kissing all over his face, “Thank you! Thank you!” Giselle repeated, as her family awed.

After months of procrastinating to buy this bag only to avoid the store whenever she was on Rodeo Drive, Giselle never expected Chris to catch her off guard.

“Ew!” The couple heard their kids groan whenever their affection lingering for more than thirty seconds.

Pulling away with a laugh, Giselle grabbed her latest addition to her Birkins before squealing once more.

Wrapping paper slowly began to litter the floor and sitting on the floor watching, the Hollywood couple watched on still enamored by their personal gifts.

“—good lookin’ out on the shades guys!” Liam yelled, with a thumbs up as he waved his storage case full of aviators around. Smiling at her brother-in-law, Giselle watched as her children and nieces excitedly played with their new toys while her parents and in-laws gawked over their designer trinkets and bags.

Looking up at her husband who also looked around the living room, it wasn’t long before Chris caught her eyes and the Hollywood couple shared a look.

Knowing that they had an important announcement to share with their family, Giselle sprung to her feet and grabbed a wrapped box hidden behind the tree while Chris got everybody’s attention, “Hey, hey!”

“We have something we would like to share with everyone.” His thick accent ranged out, with a touch of nervousness and excitement inflected in his tone.

“Yes, we do.” Giselle hinted, as she placed the box on the coffee table infront of where her parents and in-laws sat. “—please, everyone gather around.”

Retreating back to where her husband stood, Giselle threw her left arm around his waist while he draped his arm over her shoulder and brought her closer.

“Go on and open it.” The actress gestured, making Mama Janice and Mama Leonie carefully open the box while Papa Alex and Papa Craig looked on.

Anxiously watching her parents and in-laws raise the lid to the box, Giselle nervously leaned into Chris and lifted her hands to her face only to spread them and peak between her fingers as their shrieks echoed.

In the box contained a ultrasound picture tapped to the lid with a black letter-board in the box that read, ‘Baby Hemsworth. Due in June 2020.’ and under the board included a beige teddy bear, a baby rattle and bottle, and a folded white bodysuit and mini socks.

“—ahh! I knew it, I knew it!” Mama Janice exclaimed, as she jumped up and down before walking towards her daughter with her arms out and a bright smile.

Breaking away from her husband, Giselle was instantly immersed in the warmth of her mother’s arms. With tears of joys slipping from her chocolate orbs, the emotional beauty smiled and wiped at her tears before she was embraced by a tearful Leonie.

“Congratulations, sweetheart!” Her mother-in-law whispered, before pressing a chaste kiss to Giselle’s head and pulling away. Gushing from all the love, the actress caught her husband dapping up Quinton and Liam as they also gave their ‘congrats’ before teasing Chris on baby number four. Smiling at their moment Giselle’s eyes were quickly taken off them as small arms wrapped themselves around her abdomen.

Looking down she spotted her twins hugging her growing belly, “I love you mommy!”, “I can’t wait for the baby to come out!” Her girls squealed, before she hugged her twins and kissed their heads. As the girls skipped away to go play with their new iPads. Giselle went to go take a seat when the soft pulling of her onesie immediately caught her attention.

Dragging her eyes down Giselle instantly saw her babyboy’s ever-changing green eyes peering up at her while a frown graced his face. Twisting her own lips around the momma-bear cupped her three year olds chin before she asked what was wrong. “I don’t wanna share you.” He pouted, “C’mon Julian, your sisters had to share their time with me when you came along and now you have to do the same.”

“It doesn’t mean that mommy or daddy loves you any less, you hear me? We love you, and besides,”

Crouching down almost eyelevel to Julian, Giselle spoke to her youngest child, “—this means that you get to be a big brother Jules!” She hyped, as a smile replaced his confusion. Taking him into her arms, she cradled Julian’s body in her lap until her back leaned up against the couch, “When the baby gets older you can show them all your toys, play hide and go seek, read them stories just like your sisters do you and,”

“—and I can share my floaties when w-we go in the big ocean with daddy and my uncles!”, “—and you can share your floaties!” Giselle repeated, with a headnod while gushing at her son’s words.

Once the family calmed down from the news of a new addition, the couple sat on the floor as Chris shared his own excitement with his loved ones.

“Y’know despite all the gifts we’ve received today, my greatest gift is just being able to have y’all here and sharing the good news.” Chris smiled, while he caressed Giselle’s belly as she sat between his bent legs on the floor. “Every year you all either fly these long hours just to come to Australia or drive all the way down here to celebrate Christmas together.”

“—and we truly appreciate that.” Chris admitted, as he interlocked his fingers with Giselle as she turned back to smile at him. “We love everyone of you and we just want to wish y’all a Merry Christmas.”

Hearing the family echo back his words, Giselle gushed and leaned back into her husband’s warm arms as he continued to massage her little pudge.

They couldn’t wait for their bundle of joy arrival.

AUTHOR’S NOTE — I hope everyone had a great Christmas! Let’s get this new year poppin’!

TAGLIST — @wakandas-vibranium @oceanscorazon @melaninmarvel @wakandamama @storibambino @shortstacks-blog @chaneajoyyy @klaylakayblack @ashanti-notthesinger @iamrheaspeaks @destinio1 @theunsweetenedtruth @wakanda-inspired @s0eul

[lovehugsandcandy]

Fire in the Bed  (Colt x MC, N*FW/Explicit)

A/N: This is part 2 of “Fire on the Floor.” The admittedly minimal plot will probably make more sense if you read that first? But there’s not much plot here so…suit yourself.

I do have to say that I was so torn on making a part 2 to this because the first story was all about sexual tension at a distance, the kind of desire that you feel with only a look and your thoughts and your brain filling in the gaps until you can’t bear it. So what could be a part 2? These two would need touch and then it would ruin it, right?

But then someone kept asking. And here we are. I am ashamed.

Pairing: Colt x MC, ROD

Length: 2,345 words

Rating: N*FW / Explicit. (I need religion apparently. If you are a minor, don’t read this. If you don’t like explicit content, don’t read this. You know what? If you have eyes, don’t read this.)

Summary: Ellie has been waiting for Colt to get his hands on her.

Tags:  @deimosensblog @alegria1580  @choicesarehard @thefarrari @client-327 @moonlit-girl-wonder @going-down-downtown@soniadotalves@jolietmaraud @hazah@flowerpowell@poeticscolt@brightpinkpeppercorn @zaira-oh-zaira@powdesiree0816 @umiumichan @akrenich @sibella-plays-choices @leelee10898 @maxwellsquidsuit

Ellie would have known if he touched her, inadvertent or on purpose, would have known immediately if their hands met or their shoulders brushed. After the sideshow, after his eyes and his stare and his phantom hands brought her to orgasm so strong she needed to be held up. After his whispered words, breathy in her ear and “just you wait” coming to her over and over again in dreams. She would have known if they touched, if the sparks just under her skin finally ignited. She yearned for it, ached for it, even tried for it.

She stood next to him when they played pool, so close she could smell the leather and cologne but, right when she was about to move that final inch, he slipped away, just out of reach. She tried to help with repairs in the shop, hands deep in an engine and moving infinitesimally closer to his, but he turned grab a wrench right when her fingers landed where his had been, mere seconds before.

Maybe that night was a fever dream of heat and energy, her imagination taking control.

And so, she tried to.put it out of her mind, tried to ignore it but, occasionally, she would catch him staring, the intensity in his eyes reminding her of the dance at the sideshow.

But still, they didn’t touch.

~~~~~

After days of almost touches, enough times when she could feel the heat from his body as their shoulders almost brushed, enough times when she could feel the tingle on her skin when his fingertips almost skated over hers, she thought she was going to vibrate out of her mind. 

He had to be doing it on purpose.

If she could just get one tiny touch, one brush as he passed, one second of skin touching skin, maybe she could put it out of her head, forget about it. As it is, she couldn’t forget. Couldn’t forget when he looked at her across the shop, eyes fixed on hers. Couldn’t forget when the crew was piled in the car together, conscious of him leaning forward behind her as she drove.

Definitely couldn’t forget when she was in bed, alone, seeing his intense gaze behind her eyelids as she tossed and turned and was too hyped up to sleep, blankets rough on her oversensitive skin.

Finally, she had had enough. Screw this. She slipped out of bed and crept down the stairs, walking fast, trying to get there before she could reason with herself. She was amazed her nerve held up; though her hands were shaking, she was able to knock and wait through the mere seconds it took for the door to open.

“Hi.”

He looked unsurprised to see her standing in front of him, pulling the door open to let her in. He stood back, far away, too far away, giving her plenty of space before closing it behind her. A smug smile played over his lips as she looked around the room, small, basically empty.

“I expected more motorcycle posters.”

He grinned wider. “Did you come here to mock my decorating ability?”

“I came to talk to you about the sideshow.”

She crossed her hands over her chest, sizing him up, and he mimicked the gesture with a smirk. “What about the sideshow?”

“You know what.” Ellie fumed as he only raised an eyebrow at her. “For someone who talked a big game when you were there, you sure are playing dumb now.”

He took a step closer. “I’m not playing anything.”

“You’ve been avoiding me, when you said all….” She could only wave a hand in the air, wasn’t even able to articulate his words. “….that.”

“I know what I said.”

She felt like she was on the edge of the abyss deciding whether or not to leap. She took a deep breath…and jumped. “You’re not gonna back it up?”

“Ellie…." He took another step closer, tongue wetting his lips; it still wasn’t close enough. It wouldn’t be close enough until he touched her, hands covering her body in ways she had imagined repeatedly. "Do you want me to touch you?"

She couldn’t even answer, caught in the heat of his gaze as he considered her, watching his eyes trail down her body before making their way back up, lips curling into a smirk. She could only meet his eyes, helpless in his sway.

“Ok.” He took a step backwards, away from her, and she almost groaned before he spoke again. “Strip.”

“Excuse me?!?“

“You heard me.” He sat down, swiveling the desk chair so he could study her, challenging glint in his eye. “Shirt first.”

Her fingers played at the hem as she thought. “You’re still not going to touch me?”

His gaze wandered, again, down her body, mapping every inch, back up, hungry. “I don’t think I need to put a finger on you. Do I?”

She swallowed. The pull was intensifying, the invisible thread connecting his eyes and hers; he looked at her as if she was already naked, as if his eyes could see through her clothing and bring her blood to a boil with nothing more than a heated stare and a curl of his lips. 

She pulled, getting the shirt over her head and dropping it to the floor, gratified when she could hear the gasp, a quick intake of breath as his eyes trailed down her face, her neck, her chest, stomach, lower.

He only needed to nod, once, meaning clear, and her hands dropped to her waistband. Caught in his thrall, a charge of molten fire in her veins, the only sound in the room her trembling breaths, she slid her pants down and was standing before him clad in underwear and a bra.

“God damn.” It was barely a whisper, pulled from unwilling lips. He leaned back and she could see that his jeans were snug, tighter than they had been. “Bra.”

She could feel her nipples harden as she released the clasp and pulled the straps down, throwing it into the pile at her feet. She watched his eyes widen as he took her in and he bit his lip, the fire in his eyes igniting her body. Even though she was almost naked, the room was warm, hot, sweltering, the heat between them cooking her from the inside. 

They watched each other for a minute before Colt broke the silence. “Lay down.”

She slid onto the bed, holding his charged gaze the entire time, settling into the sheets. Propped on the pillow, she could see him sitting, still in the chair, leaning over the foot of the bed as if the view was pulling him in.

“Touch yourself.”

This made her pause. Ellie was familiar with her body, how to move and where to touch to make it sing. However, she had never done this with anyone, and definitely not anyone studying her as intently as Colt was, eyes trained on her. “What?”

“I wanna see you, see how your fingers move when you touch yourself.”

Her hand was moving of it’s own accord, gliding between her breasts, goosebumps following the path of her fingers. “You don’t want to touch me?”

“I think I like the view here.” He was focused, intent, as her hand trailed down, lower, charged gaze watching it edge closer and closer. Finally, her fingers reached their destination and the first touch sent a shiver up her spine. Crap, this wasn't going to take long. She was so turned on with his eyes on her body and his voice in her head that even the first tentative touches made her moan, echoing in the room. 

She wondered what his fingers would feel like. Would he know how to touch her, how to make her knees weak, her core gush? Would they trace the same circles she was doing now, light pressure over the layer of fabric? Would they be rough, demanding, pulling noises from her throat as they drummed incessantly against her? 

“Open your eyes.” She gasped as his sharp gaze came back into view. She hadn’t even realized she had shut them, so focused on her fingers and the pleasure building in her core. “Keep them on me.”

She tried to return his stare but focusing was becoming hard. Her brain wasn’t working and she was going to burst into flames, here, in Colt’s bed, in nothing but her underwear and a state of arousal, while he watched her with dark eyes and fanned the flames.

A nod of his head. “Take them off.”

She had no choice, was helpless, had to listen to that voice, follow those eyes. She shimmied out of her underwear and her fingers found her clit again. Yes, this was exactly what she wanted, two fingers circling, the pattern making her legs tremble.

It was almost like being at home, in her room, the quiet gasps she could pull from her lungs, the thrum of fire in her veins. Almost. The only difference was the boy at the end of the bed, appearing as though he was physically incapable of looking away.

“Keep your eyes open.“ It was so hard, pulling her eyelids open as her fingers moved faster, hips starting to pulse, desperate for more friction.

“Colt. Colt, please….”

“Fuck.” Finally, a crack in his demeanor, a tremble in his voice. “I love when you moan my name.” He leaned back in the chair, watching her hand move in desperate circles, faster still, more desperate. 

“Colt…”

“Let me see how soaked you are.”

She let out a strangled gasp as she tried, one finger sliding where she was so wet, so hot. She stretched her arm to reach farther inside, moving her other hand to continue massaging her clit, trying to feel the pleasure in multiple spots.

“You can’t reach it, can you?”

Her body was contorting, trying to reach the spot inside she just knew would send her over the edge, but the angle was off.

“I bet I could, slide my fingers inside you, right where you need it.” She let out a strangled moan, back arching again. He was going to be the death of her, a fiery end she couldn’t bring herself to regret. “Slide my cock inside you until the only word you know is my name.”

“Colt!” It was a yelp as her back arched, head thrown back, finger moving over her clit so fast her toes curled and her other hand flew to grab the sheet, twisting it hard.

“Don’t cum, Ellie, not yet.” His voice was rough, demanding, and she could hear a snap and the pull of a zipper. He must be as turned on as her. ”Eyes open.”

“Please Colt, please.” She couldn’t do it, couldn’t function, the world collapsing to only her fingers and his eyes and the pleasure thrumming through her veins. She couldn’t breathe, gasps failing to inflate her lungs as her skin felt tight and muscles coiled.

The chair squeaked as he stood, walking to the bed, trailing his fingers next to her, following the curves of her body but never touching her skin, so close it seemed like mere atoms were separating them.

Her thighs clenched, sweat from her brow sliding into her face, salt burning her eyes. She moaned louder, so close, back arching.

“Don’t you dare.” His fingers continued up, next to her hips, her stomach. She could feel, barely, the ripples on the sheet, the closest thing to his touch she ever felt.

“Please. Please please please.“ She was begging now, fingers moving of their own accord, barely holding onto her sanity, slightest tendrils of control tying her to the bed when all she wanted to do was float away on the pleasure, ride it until she couldn’t think, couldn’t breathe.

"Not yet.”

“Colt, Colt, Colt.” His name was like a prayer from her lips. She couldn’t bear it, couldn’t hold on. All she could feel were her fingers, flying just so over her nerves, tears falling from the corners of her eyes, her back arching off the bed, body contorting and muscles pulled tight as she simultaneously chased and tried to hold off her orgasm.

All she could see was him, as he made his way up the bed, painfully slow, to crouch and look into her eyes before sweeping his gaze down her body. She could feel his stare on her, heavy, hot, following her curves to stare at where her fingers couldn’t stop moving. She was so fucking close.

“Please.” Her voice, barely a whimper, cracked but she was too far gone to care.

“Cum.” His lips crashed into hers, muffling the scream, the shriek, the inhuman noise that poured from her throat as he stole the oxygen from her lungs and the world shook around her.

~~~~~

When she came back to herself, when she was done panting, exhausted and spent in the middle of Colt’s bed, when she found her clothes and somehow maneuvered her shaky limbs into them, she had to smile.

“You finally touched me.”

He raised an eyebrow. She would have commented on how indecent he looked, outline of his cock visible underneath the pants still hanging off his hips, but she didn’t think she looked any better. “Actually, I believe my words were to wait until I got my hands on you. That hasn’t happened yet.”

Ellie just gawked at him. They kissed, it’s true, but he had yet to lay a finger on her.

He leaned in closer, eyes darkening dangerously, voice a growl. “I told you. Just wait until I put my hands on you. In you. You won’t be able to leave that bed, sweetheart, not when I’m done with you.”

Ellie swallowed as her stomach clenched and she had to grip the door frame to stay upright.

Colt only winked. “Good night.”

She could only smile weakly as she turned away, heading back upstairs, sliding under the covers, and frantically moving her fingers in familiar circles as his words echoed in her head.