#again i'm tagging because that's my personal experience with that sentiment but it has a ton of other issues too

[gay-otlc]

Actually I think we should talk about how incredibly fucked up it is for sapphic women to say shit like "I'm no better than a straight man 😔" when attracted to a woman in a way that isn't 100% pure and wholesome, or act like men's attraction to women is inherently dirty, predatory, or objectifying.

[celerydays]

Hi! I have been following you for some time and I notice you draw more and more Sebastian and Ominis doing stuff that makes me... uncomfortable.....

Sebastian and Ominis are best friends, why people are obsessed with drawing them into weird gay stuff? Seriously.... Why can't be friends.... without all Sebinis... Just stop it...

Normally I would delete messages or simply ignore the things that make me feel uncomfortable–

But, you're on anon and this is my ask inbox, so I can only assume you want an actual, public response. So alright. Fine.

Like I said: normally I would just remove odd, uncomfortable, or even outright rude messages without making a whole thing of it. I curate my own online experience and I try my best to live by that rule.

However, I've now gotten multiple unsolicited DMs over the course of a couple of months expressing the exact same sentiment (and nearly word-for-word as this ask, so I highly suspect I already know who you are). I have duly ignored or glossed over them hoping that the person/people would take the hint to simply stop engaging with the same message over and over again. But an anon ask is my last straw, I guess.

So if you are the same person as in my DMs, I'm finally giving you a response (and if you're not the same person – which I highly doubt – then I'm speaking to both of you).

Firstly, I want to say that I am sorry that your worldview is so limited that this is your stance and feelings on gay/queer ship content for Sebastian and Ominis.

Next, I ask that you please:

Don't make your homophobia anyone else's issue but your own. Don't come into DMs/ask inboxes/comments to make your discomfort with the content I create my problem. I don't know what you hoped to accomplish by sending this message but it's unlikely that you'll find the same feelings or sympathy from the person who is actively creating queer/sebinis content.

Curate your own online experience. Once again, do not make your content consumption anyone else's problem but your own. The "unfollow" button is there. Tumblr has a tag filtering system and I try to tag my art and content as accurately as possible. If you do not like something/it makes you uncomfortable, then do not continue to consume it. And if you still decide to stick around for whatever reason, then please keep your thoughts/opinions on this matter to yourself because I can promise that I don't actually care why you would continue to be here and looking at my art if it makes you unhappy.

Widen your worldview and try to reframe your perspective. Consider that Sebastian x Ominis is just as canon as Sebastian x f!MC or Ominis x f!MC. As much as we like to ship our various MCs with the canon characters, MC never actually amounts to canonically being confirmed as anything but being just friends with everyone. Using the "they are just best friends" / "why can't they just be portrayed only as friends" could literally be applied to just about any other non-canon/non-confirmed ship between friends regardless of gender. If even one of them, Ominis or Sebastian, was portrayed as cis female in canon, I would suspect that you would better "understand" why a ship between these two "friends" may exist. Then also consider a cis male MC; it's possible you may suddenly reframe all the interactions between Ominis x m!MC or Sebastian x m!MC in your head to be "totally platonic/friendly". Your issue is certainly not with their canon relationship vs. fandom portrayal (but I think we both know that).

Educate yourself. Go outside and meet and talk to people, I dunno. It is 2024 my dude. I don't even know how you're on Tumblr – the most queer-friendly social media site – with those kind of narrowed views and stigma.

I would like to finish by saying: I don't wish you the best. What I do wish is for you to learn, grow, and be better than this.

And also please stop sending me messages of this nature, because the next ask or DM I get like this, we're moving on to blocking at this point. And if your purpose was to get me to stop, I can tell you that these messages have only fueled the explicit sebinis smut maker in me. 😤

[moxpunk]

Sometimes, I really hate the alienation I experience in trans spaces because of my asexuality.

I live in such a frustrating middle-ground. I'm a very sex-positive asexual person that enjoys physical intimacy and has a few kinks, which makes it impossible for me to exist in openly-sexual trans spaces or typical ace spaces without feeling like I'm on the outside frequently.

I'm a soft girl, my limits on kinks are relatively low compared to most other trans women I'm friends with. Breeding is right out, can't handle pain well, vore is a bit of a phobia, transformation is absolutely not my jam, and I'm not fat because I gain — I'm just naturally fat. When most spaces I've interacted with have an overwhelming number of people into a combination of those kinks, I feel silly being the one girl that wants to be hit with pies or to sit on cakes. I have nobody to relate to.

In asexual spaces, on the other hand, there's the predominant sentiment that ask physical affection and intimacy is seen as abhorrent. I like physical intimacy, I enjoy being touched in erotic ways, I deeply enjoy other people in a sexual context — I'm just deeply uncomfortable with the act of fucking and penetration. So, I feel like the weird freak when I talk about how much I enjoy that intimate realm of human connection when my peers want to vomit at the mere thought of kissing someone. Again, I don't have anyone to relate to.

Finding a space dedicated to my kink doesn't work out either because there's just so much transphobia in the relatively small online community. I'm like the biggest person on Tumblr/Cohost that has my kink, and I'm incredibly small-time. Zero way I can start a community myself, because I've tried.

To be clear, this isn't about social media posting or whatever. I block and mute tags as needed, and I'd never suggest folks not Post Stuff. This is more about Discords and forums.

I don't know where I wanted to go with any of this. I guess to vent my frustrations, or something. What set me off was a few comments back-to-back directed at me from multiple platforms from both realms. People in the one space flirting with me by saying they want to eat me or knock me up, while people in the other space tell me that I can't talk about my asexual relationship to my kinks.

Blegh. Exhausting.

[temnurus]

Wangxian Top Ten Fic Recs

So. I got into MDZS/The Untamed back in February, & I've sort of fallen into a Wangxian black hole from which I am not sure I will ever emerge. Thusly, I've been reading a ton of Wangxian fanfiction lately & have acquired quite a few favorites. Naturally I had to eventually compile a rec list lest I combust with all the barely suppressed love I have for this ship.

Now you lucky people get to reap the benefits of all my hard work because not only have I ranked my top ten, I am also including a bunch of honorable mentions because I'm ridiculous & have no self restraint because I'm such a kind & generous person. Note that the honorable mentions are not ranked & are listed in no particular order.

Fair warning, all of these recs are rated Explicit because I enjoy either a sprinkling or a flood of adult content with my fics. It's far from the focus of many of them, but it's there to varying degrees in each. Also, some of these fics cover some heavy content that may be triggering for some folks, so please do mind the tags & any authors' notes for your own peace of mind.

And with no further adieu, onto the recs!

1. Scars Where They Used to Be by CwythanWind (E, 58,467)

Thoughts: I lost count of how many times I cried in this fic. It was gorgeous in every sense of the word. The characterizations were phenomenal. Wei Ying’s pain was palpable, & the pining was agonizing. Lan Zhan conveying his love through poetry made me sob like a baby twice. The prose was just that beautiful. I can’t recommend this enough. As soon as I finished it I knew it was going to become my favorite Wangxian fic, & nothing has managed to top it yet.

2. Beneath Your Skin by Wrenwolf (E, 147,201)

Thoughts: I was sold on tattoo artist Wei Ying from the word go, haha, but Lan Zhan as an antiques dealer was also surprisingly on point. I go on about characterization a lot in these recs, but I have to tell you that Lan Zhan's here is one of my absolute favorites. I felt like I'd crawled into his skin & was just living there right along with him. And don't get me started on Wei Ying in this fic. I just.. fuck, I cried so much, y'all, & it was incredibly cathartic. Nie Huaisang was my favorite side character in this, & they were an absolute BAMF! You can't go wrong with this one. It's just stunning.

3. Pentimento. by orange_crushed (E, 72,966)

Thoughts: This fic was full of sentiment: regrets, longing, & so, so nostalgic. The love of art was apparent & beautifully on display here, & it added a richness to the whole thing. I cried several times during this from the empathy I had for both Lan Zhan's & Wei Ying's experiences (can you sense a theme with my favorites making me overly emotional? lol). The tone got heavy in places, but it didn't feel graphic or overwhelming at any point for me. The writing was just fantastic, & I've enjoyed a few more of the author's fics since I read this one.

4. i'm gonna drown when you wake up by teenjiism (E, 51,752)

Thoughts: I related to this fic on several levels because both characters are portrayed as neurodivergent in ways that felt very authentic, & I rarely see it done as well as it was here. I have ADHD, & Wei Ying's headspace felt extremely familiar, ha. Lan Zhan & Wei Ying's friendship was so lovely here, too. I adored their easy intimacy & how they were each other's favorite person before Wei Ying even realized he was in love with Lan Zhan. Oh yes, this is another fantastic oblivious Wei Ying/One Brain Cell WWX Strikes Again fic. The pining was perfect, & the overall sweetness of their relationship made this a very floaty/happy reading experience for me, personally.

5. Nothing But Trouble by brooklinegirl (E, 60,318)

Thoughts: Continuing with the theme of One Brain Cell WWX Strikes Again, this was a hilarious & heady fake dating scenario fic. His cluelessness reached new heights in this one, & I about died when he came up with the idea that naturally he & Lan Zhan should practice things like kissing for authenticity's sake. (Oh Wei Ying, you sweet summer child... he kills me; can you tell?) I loved how matter-of-fact Lan Zhan was about the whole thing, too. I laughed a lot during this fic. I even blushed a couple of times, too! Highly enjoyable & a must-read for me.

6. you've ruined my life (by not being mine) by cicer (E, 132,713)

Thoughts: None of the parents in this fic are doing a good job, but hey, they didn't in canon either, in my not-so-humble opinion. It's not what I focused on in the fic, but the tags certainly amused me. I haven't come across many texting fics in MDZS, so this was a pleasant & welcome surprise. The whole fic wasn't done through texting, but their text exchanges were SO CUTE. Lan Zhan texted exactly how I thought he would in this, & it made me laugh every time. The pining was lovely, & when they finally got to see each other in person again in New York I was glued to my computer until I finished the fic. I adored the tone of this one. It was great & just a really fun read.

7. and so my heart beats wildly by lily_winterwood (E, 106,435)

Thoughts: This was one of the most original modern AUs I've seen & featured competitive cultivation that had a Hunger Games meets professional figure-skating competition vibe. It was wild, but it made sense when I read it, I promise. The author was very good at fleshing out their world, & I was fascinated by the concept. Wei Ying once again failed to notice Lan Zhan was in love with him, & his confusion over their interactions never failed to entertain me. I never get tired of their dynamic, y'all, & it was just perfect here. I highly recommend this one.

8. Falling to the Rhythm by Selenay (E, 128,916)

Thoughts: Ever seen So You Think You Can Dance or Strictly Come Dancing? This was basically that but Wangxian! Wei Ying was stunning as a professional dancer being handed a socially awkward, concert violinist Lan Zhan & having to teach him to dance in front of the nation for 12 weeks, & I absolutely loved Lhan Zhan in this. He was precious. The sexual tension during some of the dances was electrifying, & watching them fall in love over the course of the filming of the show was a delight to read.

9. Two Dollar Coffee by marizousbooty (E, 145,286)

Thoughts: I almost fell out of my chair laughing because how do you acquire an accidental sugar daddy?! Well, if you read this fic, you'll find out. One Brain Cell WWX Strikes Again! Yeah, it's one of my favorite AO3 tags, so sue me, lol. The sex was obviously one of the highlights, which I am known to enjoy in a fic (don't judge me, Puritans), but it certainly wasn't the only thing that was well written here. I loved everything about this from beginning to end.

10. things that make it warm by yabakuboi (E, 33,327)

Thoughts: This fic hurt my feelings, not gonna lie. I cried ugly tears at the break up, but I've always had a hard time with reconciliation fics. It was very worth it, however. The way the fic covered their relationship growing & changing over time was very compelling, & a highlight of this for me was Wei Ying's relationship with the Wens, particularly A'Yuan. It was very sweet amongst an ocean of angst, haha. I read this in the span of a couple hours. Just couldn't be torn away. If you're a sucker for angst with a happy ending, then you might want to check this one out.

Honorable Mentions

The Simplest Way Forward by harriet_vane (E, 70,972)

Thoughts: This was so heartwarming I couldn't stop smiling over how adorable it was. Kid fics aren't typically a favorite of mine, but I do enjoy a really good one every now & then. This was one of the best I've read, to be honest. A'Yuan was the sweetest little angel, & he was so cute with Wei Ying spazzing out about every aspect of his care. Lan Zhan being the quiet, responsible source of reason & support was expected but of course always a welcome addition to the mix. Accidental Baby Acquisition isn't a tag I'd seen before, but it's a new favorite when it comes to Wangxian getting to be surprise parents together, haha.

undone (the spreadsheet song) series by spookykingdomstarlight (E, 282,452)

Thoughts: This is a two part series that tells the same story from each love interest’s point of view, a la Rivals by Reiya in the YoI fandom, which is one of my favorites of all time. Similarly, this story is also phenomenally written. I was sucked in immediately & read both fics over the span of like 3 days. I actually read Lan Zhan’s POV fic (the second in the series) in a single day. I was spellbound by the whole thing, couldn’t get enough. I highly recommend this. The characterizations are incredible, & the emotions are so intense I couldn’t help but feel everything right along with each of them as the story progressed.

My only word of caution is that if you have a hard time reading about Wangxian being intimate with people other than each other you might want to skim/skip those sections of the second fic like I had to. The author makes it fairly easy by giving a heads up in the author’s notes at the beginning of each chapter in which that occurs, which I very much appreciated.

Many happy returns. by orange_crushed (E, 25,470)

Thoughts: This fic started with a very serendipitous first meeting between businessman Lan Zhan & Wei Ying, who he mistook for the (non-sexual) escort he'd hired for the evening. I nearly died of mortification right along with poor Lan Zhan when he figured out his mistake. Him confessing this to Wei Ying was painfully awkward & hurt my heart, but fear not! We all know I can't handle a fic without an eventual happy ending, haha. Watching their instant connection develop into something more was such a treat. I loved this fic quite a lot for it being a quicker read for me.

Multiphonics by androkastia (E, 63,705)

Thoughts: Wei Ying was such a lovable disaster in this (as he often is, bless him). Him & Lan Zhan both being in the orchestra was a fun idea, & I loved the author's choice of the harp for Lan Zhan's instrument. I thought it was very different from the usual violin or cello choice I've seen previously but still suited him perfectly. I also loved his overall characterization, down to his fashion sense being tastefully eclectic when his style is usually portrayed as very stuffy & conservative. I really enjoyed this college/university AU, & I've read quite a few of them at this point. So obviously this one stood out.

No Compasses, No Signs by brooklinegirl (E, 36,041)

Thoughts: Ah, finally! A soulmate fic. A Temnurus rec list really wouldn't be complete without at least one. This was a modern AU, which made it especially fun when their soul bond inexplicably manifested as they literally collided with each other on the sidewalk. It was painful watching them fumble for answers to why they suddenly knew things about each other they had no way of knowing only moments before, but the sweet conclusion made it more than worth the temporary angst.

A Haunting Love by Selenay (E, 64,621)

Thoughts: This was another very unique modern with magic AU, & I was nervous because Wei Ying was a ghost haunting Lan Zhan's new house in the quiet little town he moved to in order to write his next novel. Naturally Lan Zhan became ensnared by the mystery surrounding Wei Ying's departure. This had a very romantic feel to it, intensely poetic in a way that I found very alluring. There were even thriller-esque moments towards the end of the story, so it had a bit of everything, all of it equally satisfying to read.

love, in fire and blood by cicer (E, 360,042)

Thoughts: This was an example of a cool MDZS-specific trope I hadn't seen before, & in it Wei Ying, the infamous Yiling Patriarch, was a cultivator who had achieved immortality (aka, he's OP as fuck but in a fun way). The great sects enlisted his help to win the Sunshot Campaign, & what did he demand in return? Lan Zhan's hand in marriage, of course! It was a fantastic slow burn in which poor Lan Zhan suffered the mortifying ordeal of falling in love with his own husband. An amazing & complex plot, chock-full of angsty goodness.

a place to hide (can't find one near) by yiqie (E, 76,091)

Thoughts: I'm giving y'all a heads up first thing that this fic pulled no punches when it came to the heavier subject matter covered in the tags & author's note. Some of the descriptions were fairly graphic, so please take care of yourselves when considering this one. That said, it was a powerful portrayal of someone suffering from mental health issues & the long & often complicated journey of healing. This one also happened to contain a love story so beautiful that I was brought to tears several times by Lan Zhan's patient & loving care for his most important person, nevermind all the times I cried at the sad parts! I found the emotional cost of those very much worth the payoff of their happy ending, which is why I just had to include this one.

Just You, Just Me (Just Us, Just We) by wincechesters (E, 19,777)

Thoughts: Lan Zhan thought his brother made him an appointment at an acupuncturist & was aghast when he discovered it was for a session with a professional cuddler instead! Enter Wei Ying, gratuitous cuddle therapy, & his usual chaotic charm. Poor Lan Zhan being so overwhelmed while also becoming hopelessly besotted made me laugh, bless his fragile little heart. This was an adorable & light-hearted fic that made me want to go back & reread it almost immediately, haha.

my age has never made me wise by idrilka (E, 63,439)

Thoughts: I absolutely loved this. It was pretty CQL (The Untamed) compliant & told the post-canon story of Wei Ying wandering alone as a rogue cultivator after the events of the show. Of course he was pining after his zhiji the entire time, so when he heard gossip that the Chief Cultivator might be married by summer's end it nearly undid him. The angst was excruciating, but at the same time, One Brain Cell WWX Strikes Again fics somehow always manage to be fun at the same time. I've read several post-canon, wandering Wei Ying stories, & this one was particularly good.

[sasori-anon]

A much needed Post

Good evening everyone, I hope you're all having a good day.💜

Yes, I probably tagged you in this, dear stranger. Before you click off, I ask you to give me 5 minutes of your time. Just 5, then you can go about your day. But I would appreciate it, if you listened to what I have to say, because it means a lot to me and many...many others.

I'm posting today, because this topic has been on my heart lately and I wanted to share my thoughts with you. I'm sure you've already guessed that this is about the whole Kisame-anon chaos.

Before we begin, I want to get this out of the way: This post is coming from a genuine and loving place. My goal is not to point fingers, nor placing blame or justify anyone's actions, including my own. This post is about me, trying to understand the entire situation and providing my sentiments to it.

Act I: Why do I not just shut up?

Why do I get involved you might ask? It's not so much that I want to get involved. It's more that any anon who begins their journey here, gets inevitably sucked into it. We are faced with angry posts, confusing explanations and forced to choose who to believe and support. If you don't, you walk on eggshells filled with guilt and if you do, you're being blocked by the entire half of the disagreeing party.

This is not what I signed up for.

I come on to Tumblr to Roleplay and have fun. I've been having a splendid time here. You guys are making me so happy as of late, allowing me to play freely and giving me a space for all my creative ideas. And I want to continue doing so.

I want to be able to chat up anyone, without fearing that someone else will jump at my throat for it. That includes Kisame, Hidan, Orochimaru and many more of you wonderdul RPers.

Recently I have noticed that I've been blocked by several people and I can guess, what the reason is. And it saddens me because...I like you guys. We were talking and sharing fun experiences, only for me to discover that I am suddenly cut off from it. For no other reason than that I interact with a person they have a quarrel with. And that is just...not the solution. So what is the solution?

Act II: The Anon War in a nutshell

Now, from my understanding, there is a big rift between two groups.

1) Those who have received digital harassment in form of hate/rape/death threats (and believe Kisame-anon to be the culprit)

and

2) Those who defend Kisame against those claims, or, like me, don't just blindly hop onto a hate train they saw on the internet

Again, my goal with this post is not to be the divine judge over who is in the right here. It is, objectively, pretty much impossible from an outsider's standpoint. And additionally, I don't think either of you is necessarily to blame for your individual reactions.

I absolutely feel for you guys, Hidan-anon and your friends. I, too, would be seething if someone I love was harrassed in the way Hidan (and co) has been. I do not know the extent of the harrassment. But I believe you when you say, that you've suffered. And I am very sorry you have been through that.

I also feel for Hidans friends, who, (bless their hearts) really are trying to protect them from further harm. An absolutely understandable sentiment.

I do however, also really feel for Kisame, who, (bear with me here) is probably being framed. They have been faced with a lot of backlash from party 1, have tried to defend themselves to no avail, up to the point of having to retreat. And all that...for what?

Act III: The Point I'm trying to make

Do none of you realise, that you're being pinned against each other?

There is a person (or perhaps several) that has harrassed Hidan-anon with very vile threats and they are getting away with it. There is someone out there, that is having the time of their life, watching you scratch each others eyes out, causing pain and suffering for everyone involved, while they sit back and watch the show.

Kisame-anon has not sent you these messages. They have proof of it. Wether you believe them or not, is up to you, but...

Do you really want to keep hurling hate at a person, that is just as much a victim as you are? A person who, themselves, is a victim of sexual abuse and would never even think of the idea of sending someone rape threats?

Would you not rather work together to bring that (pardon my french) asshat to justice, that is playing sick games with the both of you?

And mind you, it's not just Kisame you're isolating. You're isolating their friends, who are doing the same as you: Protecting those they care about.

You're isolating kind strangers like me, who just want to roleplay without the drama, by blocking them by mere association.

And you're isolating oblivious newcomers, who might have the misfortune of stumbling over the "wrong" blog at the wrong time.

This is not okay guys.

And coercing others into doing the same (blocking by association) is further doing damage, because many people just want to stay away from the drama and thus do as you say without much thought. The whole thing is harmful in itself, but it's worse, because you're doing it to the wrong person.

Kisame has evidence that they're innocent. Kisame also has a quite solid theory who it is. Do you not want to at least have a look at it?

If you truly care about the safety and wellbeing of your friends, I strongly suggest you do. Because the actual predator is still out there.

I am glad that Hidan went to the police. I hope that they find who is behind all of this and that they get taken care of for good. Because like things stand now, you're about to drag an innocent person to the guillotine and letting the true perpetrator go. And you're dividing an entire RP fandom, that used to be a safe space.

I don't want this to happen.

Act IV: So...what now?

I want this post to be a wake up call. A wake up call for all those who are as confused, as I was and unsure what to do; but also, especially, to Hidan-anon and friends. Please, let us put down arms and find a solution.

I care about you. And I care about Kisame. And I love this little RP space we built and the friends I made here. I want us to stand together, acknowledge each other's suffering and grow as people. Let us talk things out.

I want this post to be a safe place for exchange. Feel free to add your thoughts and sentiments in the comments. Everything is welcome, as long as it is respectful and communicated calmly. I am more than happy to provide you with a neutral ground to talk things out. My DMs and Asks are always open for anyone who needs an ear or a shoulder.

We, as Naruto fans, more than anyone else, should know that hate creates nothing but more hate. So let us lead with compassion and patience. And listen to each other. Thank you for your attention.

@itachianon @izumi-uchiha-anon @kisame-hoshigaki-rp @mikoto-uchiha-anon @orochimaruanon

@fugaku-uchiha-anon

@hidan-anon

@rin-nohara-anon

@naruto-uzumaki-anon

@uchihamadxra @twinuchiha @deidarask @deidara-anon @kuhakukage @obitoanon

If you repost this blog, please tag all of the accounts above, that are not underlined. Otherwise they won't see this post. Thank you for your help.

[chickenstrangers]

@waitmyturtles sent me a lovely ask that tumblr decided to eat right when I was working on a response. The ask was essentially:

We have been reminiscing a lot recently about He's Coming to Me as you have been making gifs for it. What are your top 3 shows, besides He's Coming to Me, that you feel nostalgia for at any given time, and why? What draws you to them? [apologies if I have misremembered anything]

Thank you for the question! It sent me into a bit of a philosophical debate over the nature of nostalgia and if I feel nostalgia for any of these dramas at all.

For me, nostalgia is very rooted in the sense that the past cannot be returned to, or cannot be returned to in the same way. Of course, every rewatch of a show is a different experience and changes your interpretation of and feelings towards the text. But I watched so many of these shows fairly recently, relatively, and most of them I didn't watch live. I feel nostalgia for shows I watched many many years ago, because I am a very different person than I was and my interpretations and taste has definitely changed. Even though I still love my favorite shows from 10 years ago, for instance, and have rewatched and still truly enjoyed them, it is a fundamentally different experience to when I watched them then, and I can never return to that time.

This could be interpreted also as which show I wish I could watch again for the first time, but I also have a hard time with that. For all of my favorite shows, I only started to truly, deeply love them on rewatch. So maybe I am nostalgic for my second watch of shows. Perhaps the only show I would say I'm nostalgic for the first time I watched is Eternal Yesterday, because I do think watching it will be very different the next time because the experience of suspecting but not knowing with certainty what the ending would be was a very important aspect of how I watched and interpreted it, and it put me so viscerally in Mitsuru's experience of denial and anticipatory grief.

Then, of course, there are shows for which the watching experience itself has shifted, for me most notably GMMTV shows moving to Viki. Despite My School President being in my top 3 favorite shows, the change of medium has perhaps dissuaded me from rewatching so far. And once Bad Buddy moves, the fan lore which is often so tied to episodes and specifically parts of episodes will be lost to some extent. I am fascinated generally in how the medium of the text changes the interpretation and experience (see for example the original serialization of Dracula, then most commonly read as single book, and now re-serialized with Dracula Daily).

People talk a lot in tags about missing shows or characters, and I appreciate the sentiment, but again is not something I fully feel myself. I don't miss Moonlight Chicken, or Jim and Wen, because I think about the show all the time, it lives in my heart. I also know that I can rewatch the show at any time and they will be there, the same as they were before. Fandom tends to move very quickly these days, which is understandable with the amount of shows there are, but sometimes I feel I haven't gotten the memo that I am also supposed to move on. I love seeing people in my old fandom returning to or discovering a decades old show and sharing their love for it, making content for it still. Perhaps that is why I most enjoy making gifs and writing meta for "older" shows like Moonlight Chicken, Bad Buddy, Kieta Hatsukoi, or He's Coming to Me.

TLDR; to answer your question, after way too long a ramble, perhaps Bad Buddy (also spurred on by your and @ranchthoughts' rewatches that are making me itch to rewatch), My School President, and Eternal Yesterday?

[taylors-fourth-cat-meow]

What are your thoughts about domestic violence? Sjm has written tamlin-feyre in such a realistic way that a lot of domestic abuse survivors identified with feyre and her emotional & psychological abuse (their comments were added in acomaf I think). So I want to know, since you're celebrating a canon domestic abuser while constantly invalidating his victim's trauma & making a mockery of something that affects so many women irl I just want to know what are your thoughts about domestic abuse and do you acknowledge that tamlin is an abuser?

I get wanting a healing & redemption arc for him but what I don't get is the fact that you're able to sympathize with & understand an abuser but you don't have the same sentiments for his victim. Why? Seems like blatant misogyny and normalization of abuse to me

I don't understand the point behind this ask because it's so very clear that they have already formed an opinion.

My thoughts on domestic abuse? Absolutely don't support it. It's a very sensitive topic and I feel that I, who has no experience or knowledge about it have no right to make my opinions about it and survivors in any way.

'Sjm has written tamiln-feyre in a realistic way" I- Speechless.

And since it seems that this person seems to know everything about me and this blog (even tho i've been inactive for months) they failed to notice where in countless posts I've said I don't don't like Feyre because she has suffered abuse. I don't like her because she is a badly written character. It's as simple as that? I won't sympathise or like such a poorly written character just because the author thought to gain her sympathy points. I accept Tamlin's abuse. I wasn't denying it. Wasn't denying the fact Feyre suffered it. But these are non-existent fictional ppl. You can only sympathise with them when u relate to them, understand them and form an attachment. I couldn't do that with Feyre because her holier than thou attitude kept coming in the way the writing is by any normal standards pathetic.

And since it is impossible for people to understand that you can't separate characters from their authors, I don't blame your precious Feyre for anything, I loved her in the first book and do think she had a lot of growth potential as a character, I blame Queen Maas for writing such a pathetic story with pathetic pitiful characters.

"invalidating the victim's trauma" oh dear I don't think it can ever be possible to invalidate Feyre's trauma considering its stuffed down our throats every two pages. (And I don't even understand by what u mean by that? I've never said she should go back to him that's the last thing I want? ) See? Feyre is not a real person. Stop treating her such. She's written, badly written by someone else. So when I say I don't like Feyre's character it's not her that I'm hating it's Sjm and her writing.

Now u may ask why I like Tamlin if I hate sjm's writing so much. See it's the way she kept changing his character as the plot required. One sec he's the mysterious handsome Fey the other he's an evil abuser and the next a selfless brokenhearted man. She paid so Little attention to him that it ended up creating a character that intrigued me.

And most of my posts are not rants or something like that, they're just like posts that cud make u smile or chuckle. And it's specifically for a certain small section of people who do find them funny hence the tags. Again it's mockery of sjm's pathetic writing not Feyre, or women who relate to her. Ig the tags should have been enough but if it helps I'll put up a warning in my description :)

[privateolives]

I saw people talk about their Zero Time Dilemma fixes around the tag so I thought I'd dump in my convo on the topic too (With shout-out to @oriko-magicas's galaxy brain read on Akane and Junpei)

Absolute wall of text below.

Me: I'm having trouble finding it, but there was a post talking about Akane and Junpei in Zero Time Dilemma that I really liked the interpretation of It's essentially talking about how Akane don't want anything but the perfect future with Junpei. She went through so much and spend so long aiming for fhe one needle hole solution to live that she can't settle for anything but her ideal fantasy ending anymore. Meanwhile Junpei still experiences time the way it normally goes and he was burned by 999. He knows things will never be the same cause THEY'RE not the same, but he's willing to work with that to stay with her And I think it's a super thematic read, especially when you consider their VLR attitudes

Friend: Yeah, you know, that actually makes a lot of sense to me

Me: https://www.tumblr.com/privateolives/730880206913552384?source=share

Okay I’m thinking of ztd again, and it’s how Akane only accepts a future with Junpei if it can be fairytale perfect. She wants so desperately to be that kid who died in the incinerator again, the one… There it is

Friend: That would certainly explain the way she frequently reacts to this new cynical, jaded Junpei

Me: I don't think that's her exact motivation for that ending but the sentiment is perf Yeah

Friend: It makes much more sense to me. Every time she shakes her head and says "what happened to you" it's because she's hopeful to see that same boy she used to know

Me: I think Junpei's attitude would make a lot more sense if the assholery was played up when Akane acts like he should still be the same like he was before 999. Or like the world could be how they saw it before then. It'd underline the dynamic better of "I need you to be the person I cried out to back then" and he's like "I love you but you literally made that impossible" … paired up with Carlos like "I am begging you to just talk" Carlos: you are both cute and valid but I NEED you to communicate

Friend: I think maybe part of it is that Junpei's jaded asshole net is thrown a bit wide. 'cause on one hand it is like he's upset at Akane for 999 and part of it is like he's upset that she acts like he should be the same after that, but then there's also all the shit that he went through since then and it feels like he blames her for that as well He's been through a lot in what has somehow just been one year and it feels like, perhaps fitting for someone who has also become an alcoholic, he's looking to put the blame for it all on someone

Me: Yeah Also I've been thinking, and I think there's an easy fix to the stupid "complex motives" crap. And a lot of Delta honestly

Friend: hell yeah let me hear it

Me: The whole frame he jeeps setting up with the snail. It's all about a series of small butterfly effects that cause an extremely specific outcome. That's what he wants to do too, same as the other zeroes, but he has one particular handicap: he can't shift or read timelines. He won't just know how to make the bricks fall to get the exact outcome he wants. But if he could gather enough shifters, he could read their hopping around through their minds. Because resonance would make the memories clearer. So he sets up the game that can only be completed by getting the exact result he wants and then introduces the piranha - Mira - to the equation to ensure it won't be a dead end stalemate Then in the end he can explain that yes, his motives are complex. Because the solution to save 8 billion without killing 6 billion is a hairline precise set of circumstances that he wouldn't be able to figure out what is naturally. So he had to make them create it. He had to make them all resonate to read them and make them all resonate to give them all awakened shifter powers for the future and to read at all. Furthermore I would play up his narcissism. The smugness of his own intelligence being double edged to believing he has to cause this himself because he's the only one who can. A staunch belief that he HAS to be what causes the bricks to fall as they should. And it'd make his point of "but I didn't do anything in this timeline. Everyone is prepped and noone is dead" more valid. Because he doesn't shift. He doesn't emotionally register all the timelines he massacred to get this one. He only know the actions that caused his personal outcome as a list of checked boxes checked off through their memories

Me: Furthermore, there could be another reason why he has to be the one triggering these events. I was super annoyed that it was like "Oh so now free the soul isn't enough. We need another terrorist group with a world ending leader. And what was the left thing about?" Well what if its not a separate terrorist group. What if the religious fanatic he's talking about is himself, transported forward in time. A younger version of himself is ending the world to create the ideal existence Dio was talking about. But the Delta who arrived in the original way back when doesn't shift. He has to live all those years. He meets interesting being like Sean that makes him realize that the differences between people makes for various choices that makes life beautiful. So now he has to find a way to out-checkmate himself to stop himself. How? Prep a group of people capable of doing what he can't to try and outsmart him. And set up a winning condition entirely set on being able to do that.

Friend: that's actually so brilliant because yeah I think definitely the weakest part of this outcome is that it doesn't really solve the problem that he set out to solve "You're all really motivated now!" oh so… what they wouldn't have tried to stop a terrorist attack if he hadn't made them all kill each other? the heck is that also, yeah I was going to ask you about that at some point. like, he doesn't mention Left at all in ZTD and I was confused if Sean was supposed to be related

Me: I don't think so. Because he was an old man when he met Sean in the hospital. But I think he was fascinated by Sean's approach to life And maybe made him consider that something could be beautiful outside of Left

Friend: this man just goin around creating marvels of science to preserve dead little boys

Me: I'm thinking part of it is also like Solving the conundrum of giving him whatever he wanted. He has his dreams of the future. He can give him that. But he's not in despair of having to die before that reality. So he gives ukm the option of death too By just giving him the option at all, he's ensured both will happen somewhere Thus the ideal outcome of how he can have both comes true Lastly, Mira's ending. I think they should have empathised more that she became a killer to understand experiencing emotions instead of just pretending them. She chases Eric because she thinks she wants to feel that rush again, but her connection with Sean could show her something different. That either through resonance she could experience emotions through others OR that you can still essentially be human even if you're only able to "simulate" having those emotions,m like a robot does.

Me: Meanwhile Sean both wants better for and cannot forgive Mira for her crimes. But thanks to the choice with the bad and happy ends, he has an answer for how to both make Mira live with her crimes and ensure a future where it doesn't happen. By creating a split timeline where she goes back and stops her crimes from being committed. In this case, the original Mira would still know and have to live with what she did. But I'm one tjmeline a young Mira never becomes the heart ripper and the crimes are undone. The sins are therefore both being punished and remembered for happenjng and erased to begjn with at the same time.

Friend: you know what I like that one. that's a good way of interpreting it, especially with the way the transporter works also, doubly digging this idea. Mira being shown this robot child who either somehow experiences emotion or at the very least simulates it in such a way what it fools everyone (and also is capable of calling her out on her own emotional mistakes) should have so much more of an impact on her

Me: Yeah Like I genuinely think you could fix this game either a few tweaks

Friend: yeah absolutely also I'm not sure what the amnesia element really did for it? I guess it was to confuse the SHIFTers so they wouldn't know they had already SHIFTed but to what end?

Me: It might be to confused the computer. Keep it from figuring out its not the real Sean too fast If it remembers being Sean it'd be easy to compression and contrast all the things that Sean definitely couldn't do or know and reach the conclution If it doesn't remember being Sean, there's nothing to compare any contradictions to. It can only just assume that the reasons are things it can't remember Also, if the computer ONLY has Eric and Mira, it makes it more incentives to latch onto them and care about their situations, despite them both being monsters in their own right Oh Also The Carlos thing Rather than just "I couldn't have met you guys" you could do: 1) in order to fix this we need phi and Sigma here. That means we need a timeline where Akane and Junpei escape but don't stop Zero or the radical-6 outbreak. So he breaks in to bust them out. 2) they need the timeline where Delta gives them answers. Meaning they need a timeline where Zero "wins". So he can't interfere. 3) split worlds principle. By just introducing the choice to stop zero's plans or not, he's creates both options. This is the world where he doesn't stop Zero. But because he comes pre-packadged with the knowledge of what's gonna happen, he can still tale actions to secure the timeline that'll allow for them all to stop zero So there is a timeline where he stops Delta before DCOM, but because of the anthropic principle (there must be a perciever for the option to be percieved) Akane and Junpei never see it because they never had to go through the game. They only percieve the option where Carlos didn't stop Delta in time

Friend: that makes perfect sense to me gosh imagine that timeline, though. Akane and Junpei never go to DCOM so they never meet there poor Junpei is probably still chasing the ghost of this woman who …wait what was her reason for going to DCOM again?

Me: So her and Sigma could stol the outbreak Stop Of radical-6 ALSO also

Friend: yeah that's what I assume but I swear the game acts like she doesn't even know about Sigma or Phi or the outbreak

Me: (I've thought about how to fix this game a lot idk if you can tell) The thematic relevance of "but then I couldn't have met you guys" can actually be valid if you flip it around.

Friend: hahaha understandable how so?

Me: Because of Carlos, Akane can come to terms with the changes in Junpei and see the validity in the "broken" futures by showing there's things worth remembering even in the imperfect ones. Like the argument Junpei makes at the end of VLR, the relationships after the disasters still mean something to the survivors. And Carlos helps Junpei realize there's still fundamentally good people in the world and come to terms with Akane and what she did and who she is now. By inserting Carlos they're able to help mend their relationship. And if Carlos never met them because the DCOM experiment didn't go down like it did, their relationship wouldn't have been mended either They'd still just end up like how they did at the end of VLR. Essentially dead to each other "You're not who I thought you were, goodbye"

Friend: very true it certainly seems like by this game they were never really going to be able to talk it over on their own he was a necessary mediator

Me: Not to mention If Carlos never met THEM, he'd never realize the cause of the reverie syndrome to save Maria

Friend: True! Gosh she's kind of a whole anomaly herself

Me: Yes! I think it could be cool if the they worked her more into Carlos and his abilities tbh Let's think back to the 999 lore The idea of the Sender and Receiver If Maria was the "sender", she could have gone into reverie when she was stuck in the fire, trying to save herself and her family. She continues to be stuck in reverie because she keeps simulating how to a) save her family totally and b) save Carlos from all his other eventual dooms The problem with saving her family is that there is a huge world crisis going down soon that's gonna wipe out most of humanity anyway! So? Make sure Carlos goes to DCOM to save her and have her essentially be a satellite quantum simulator to feed Carlos his insights And through that also learn from Akane and Junpei or just the experience itself that either the timeline where their parents was also saved still exists but isn't percievable Or come to terms with their death by still having Carlos that survives both DCOM and the would-be apocalypse And thus be able to lay the endless simulations to rest and wake up (With the added cute twist that she already knows Akane and Junpei and their relationship with her brother when she wakes up. Thus why she's so invested in it in the epilogue)

Friend: that is a bizarre kind of adorable and sweet! she's his own quantum computer though I wonder if they'd be able to still use those abilities after she wakes up in that case

Me: I'm guessing it'd just go back to working like it did in 999. Carlos himself might be able to do it on his own from longtime exposure too, who knows.

[aeternallis]

KM Discord Server

As a POC (SE Asian) who was also dogpiled on a much a smaller scale in another discord server, and as one who'd witnessed in real time the events that unfolded in December 2023 in the KM discord server, I think the one thing that's been lost in all this chaos and drama is the human decency of giving people the benefit of the doubt.

Feel free to skip this section!

And for a little background, here's my experience: I reblogged a post on my blog and ranted about a few headcanons that I don't agree with in the tags. Some people read my tags, and concluded from that one post that I'm an outright ableist. Mind you, it was one day, and one post when I had absolutely no filter. Yet still, in which case, the conclusion drawn about me was fair, since in retrospect, I see where I went wrong. Again, I was frustrated for one day in that post and did not think of my tone whatsoever. I face the repercussions of that misjudgment today. For the record, just because I'm a POC, it doesn't mean that I'm immune to hurting other people, no matter the fact that that was never my intention. I did hurt certain individuals with that one damn post and the tags I wrote, and I'll be apologetic and remorseful about it for a long time. But having said that, I'd honestly expected certain people in this fandom to be mature enough to reach out in private first and ask for some clarifications, not to be immediately gossiped about in the discord server we were a part of. On top of that, besides that one incident, I hadn't even realized there was already growing resentment towards the metas I've written for KP/Kimchay, besides one of the few times I brought up personal frustrations I experienced as a POC. Lol

From what I've noticed with this incident in the KM server as well as the small discord server I was a part of, when POC share their own cultural context and understanding of something, not just the piece of media for which is the reason why we were all there in the first place, the knee-jerk reaction for most westerners are almost always to think of those things as "fandom policing."

In fact, in a separate conversation from my experience, one of them even said, "it's not so much about culture!" LOLOL To have that sentiment hurled towards me, while I was speaking of my frustrations of when culture erasure takes place in conversations of certain topics, while the conversation took place in a discord server meant to celebrate an Asian piece of queer media…was quite an experience. XD Goodness, I can only wonder what it's like to be able to have the privilege to say that so easily. That's all I'll say. Ha~

Yet still, from my own point of view, do I call the people who hurt me “individuals with a colonizer mindset” and that other word that’s hanging around right now and unsaid, just because of these few incidents? My knee-jerk reaction is to say yes, considering I wasn't even given a chance to explain myself, but I'll clamp that knee-jerk reaction down as much as I can, because despite everything, I still personally think the KM discord server and that other discord server still did more good than bad (not by much though), in the grand scheme of things. Those servers allowed for some instances of astounding cross-cultural communication (even if it also allowed rampant western ignorance to thrive), and for what it's worth, there are still good people in this community, despite everything.

And at the end of the day, who am I to hurl hurtful labels towards those who'd hurt me, when I hardly even knew them in the first place (two of them I never even talked to, LOL), and I know to myself that they meant no harm at the end of the day. Even if they certainly didn’t hesitate to throw the label “ableist” at me without a second thought.

It's a serious thing to throw a label like that at someone, even if my own experience as a POC who was dogpiled on by a number of westerners...hmm, let's stop that train of thought.

Getting back on track. Even still, these opinions I hold won't erase the experiences of other POC members in this fandom and in the KM discord server, the hurt they've experienced, nor can I speak for any one of them.

I think the bad habit of knee-jerk reactions—specifically the knee-jerk reaction of those wanting to protect the KM discord server in the way that's perceived to result in the least amount of drama, the gut instinct to not want to be caught in the crossfire, the conscious choice to tolerate such things, for the sake of preserving the safe space that one has left—is pretty much what's dominating the behaviors of people responsible right now.

The mods who run such servers like the KM server and others like it—they're not perfect, but I would have at least expected from them to be more open and proactive to the concerns of its POC members. Perhaps it's too much to expect that they would be equipped to handle very sensitive issues as the ones its POC members experienced, but damn...the bar is quite low, even just to meet the minimum.

And that's the most frustrating thing, to be honest. All this time, in all these various situations for those who’ve spoken out, it's the POC members of the community who are ALWAYS the ones who are pressured to having to give people the benefit of the doubt, to have to be careful of what they say, but NOWHERE in these situations is that sentiment even remotely returned to POC.

It was the POC members affected by the incident in December who had to remain patient with the mods, it was the POC members who had to face the backlash of negativity that happened, it’s the POC members of the community who’ve had to face the accusations of fandom policing, it’s the POC members of the community who have to face daily micro aggressions in this fandom, when all we’ve done is express opinions and our viewpoints.

At the end of the day, it’s POC members of the community who face the repercussions of having spoken out, yet the rest of the westerners in this community have the damn luxury to walk away, unscathed, to think to themselves that they did nothing wrong.

So I’ll be blunt this one time: yes, for the most part, there are good people in this fandom, there are. But even so, not a single one of us here is perfect, we’re all human.

And if I do say so myself, there is indeed quite a desperate need for fandom spaces, not just the KP fandom, to decolonize their ways of operating, starting with: giving POC the benefit of the doubt and actually trying to handle our concerns with some effort.

[ihatepeoplesomuchuwu]

Stealth anon again, I can tell you what I know of GaG as objectively as possible. Luckily, it's a hobby of mine to research things and people to see what they really say as opposed to what angry internet 20-somethings who hear only what they want to hear think they say. Sorry for my text walls btw. GaG an LGBT group founded and managed by LGBT people. Their goals are twofold: to protect minors from things and decisions they are too young to consent to and from the predatory adults that want minors to make such decisions and have premature sexual autonomy, and to fight the harmful conflation that LGBT is full of or supports predators. They believe sexual content at events that intentionally allow minors and that medically transitioning minors are two such things that harm minors and are likely to profit predators. I believe the issue people actually take with them is their actions and executions of their goals. I don't think the majority of people that dislike GaG are actually predators or predator supporters that want to perpetuate child abuse, just misinformed. GaG can sometimes be rash, bold, or otherwise abrasive, like the post about the topless person knowingly exposing their breasts to a public crowd where children were or could have been present -- they dehumanized and insulted this person based on their actions of exposing (or potentially exposing) themselves with kids around, not because of how they do or don't identify. It's subjective whether someone thinks sex-pest actions deserve dehumanization, but intellectually dishonest to assert it was because of identity. Of course, people can still agree with GaG's anti-predator sentiments and goals while also disagreeing with their methods of trying to achieve those goals or what is considered predatory. However, they are not an anti-LGBT hate group by any means. The other main point of contention seems to be whether minors medically transitioning is harmful, and people who believe it is not harmful are more likely to disagree with GaG on that particular topic. I must say though as someone who has a decent bank of research knowledge on it and as someone with firsthand experience with being medically transitioned as a minor and its consequences, I have seen nothing but disingenuous and blatantly incorrect takes on that issue from the Tom hate bandwagon side, even some outright denial that 'medically transitioning minors doesn't actually happen.' But again, I'll stop there and you can let me know if you want more details.

I shall answer this and then take my break UwU

Thank you so much, anon. I have so much to say, but I feel that It is best if I leave a small response and let everyone here have their own opinions on the GaG without me being an influence because of boy I have a few words to say. TwT I will at least say that this was extremely helpful, and thank you so much for taking the time to do this for me or people like me who didn't have much knowledge about GaG. 😄

I'm sorry again about what you had to go through but remember that you are strong and a lot of people admire you, anon! Feel free to add as much as you want, and I will be more than happy to post it! If you would like my opinion on it too, let me know, but for now, I shall tag this and share your wisdom!!! ÙwÚ

(P.s you dropped your second crown, anon UwU ✨️👑✨️)

[thousand-winters]

20 questions for fic authors

Thank you for tagging me, @candyskiez!!! I shall use this wisely (to procrastinate. And to ramble because I love rambling). Tagging @pascal-oswell @justmagicalgirl and @drbtinglecannon if you wanna do it, if not, that's okay!

1. How many fics do you have on ao3?

36, which would probably be insane to me a couple of years ago, but they're nothing compared to the amount of wips I have, enlisted or not (please, send help).

2. What's your total ao3 word count?

170,058! Nice

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Mainly The Owl House.

I have a couple of fics for the Shadowhunter Chronicles, mostly The Last Hours (though I do have a Wicked Powers wip) but I haven't had the most pleasant experiences in the TSC fandom so that'll probably be it.

Oh! I do have 4-ish Mob Psycho 100 fics in the works and a Star Wars one.

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

So, what was your name again? No surprises there, it's still lowkey insane to me how much attention that one got

Sentimental, grieving to survive: I think we all were longing for the family reunions after Thanks to Them, so I get it too

Operation 'Make Darius like me': If I had to pick something as my fic writing legacy, it would be Hunter causing Darius psychic damage by saying"meow-meow" in the most deadpan expression in the world

Long lost lies: I remember being sooo excited to write this one and then having a mental illness episode in the middle of it so overall it's funny it came out nice

An unsung melody, mine for safekeeping: I think this was like my third fic??? And it's just pure fluff so... really nice to have it here

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I do! I cherish each comment dearly so I try to reply to them all within the week. Though I have been going Through It the past couple of months, so I've been falling behind on that :( I love them tho, I'm kinda sad when I don't get any

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Okay, it's either "Loyalty Binds you" or one of my puppet Dadrius reunions which is, in retrospective, incredibly funny because I wrote those 3 one after the other, no hurt/comfort to be found.

I would argue the puppet ones have some hopeful undertones tho, so perhaps "Loyalty Binds you", especially because there's no hopeful ending in sight unless the whim strikes me to write it. It exists. In my head.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

I write SUCH cheesy endings, you have no idea, I'm generally not one to leave things in a sad note because I'm too soft for that. But if I have to pick, I woud say "So, what was your name again?" if only because the ending is happy like in most of my fics, but this one, because it's a reunion fic, has a ecstatic sort of quality, I would say.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

I have gotten a couple of weird comments, but not hate, no.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Girl, I can barely write people kissing, this is asking too much from me. In all seriousness, I mostly write found family, so no smut here.

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

Same as candyskiez said, I prefer to write AUs in the setting of other media. I think crossovers can be fun but most of them aren't my thing, ngl.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Once as far as I know. When I went to ask the person to take it down, they deleted their whole profile so... win?

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Someone asked me once for permission to translate a fic to Russian, I believe, but I'm not sure if they went through with it.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Not really, but Will and I should really get on with the one we have planned. To be fair, I have not replied our unhinged planning in a While™ so it's mostly on me. Oops.

14. What's your all-time favorite ship?

I don't think I have one. Half of the ships I like don't compel me to read fics about them and the other half feel to fresh to even begin to compete as all-time favorite.

If I had to pick tho, I'm going with Cecilos because they meant everything to me from like 14-17.

15. What's a wip you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

All of them /j

Okay, kidding, I have been so exhausted lately in the writing department buuuut probably "Children of Dust and Ashes". I still love the concept and ideas I had for it but the one other person who cared about it is an ex-friend and as I mentioned before, TSC is a tricky fandom for me so I don't think I can cheerlead myself into finishing this one. I'm sorry to the like... 2 people who seemed interested.

16. What's your writing strengths?

You think I know myself that much? /j

Um. I'm gonna say characterization? I don't think it's perfect, but I do try to keep it consistent and it's something people have praised before so let's go with it.

17. What's your writing weaknesses?

In theory I know a shit ton of vocabulary. In practice, I feel like the language I use is too basic, which I blame a bit on the language barrier, and my descriptions too simple, which is a problem for me in Spanish as well, so that one is all me lmao.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I eat that shit up. Of course, I think it also depends on the context, keep it consistent! Like if a character canonically sprinkles their speech with words/sentences in their own language, one should absolutely strive to imitate that.

I think adding the translations at the end as a note works well.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

In general in life? Lord of the Rings, especifically, about Gimli, he was my guy.

Actually posting online? I'm. Huh. I'd rather not say... I'm willing to say the second one was Voltron Legendary Defender, so you can imagine how bad the first one must have been.

20. Favorite fic you've ever written?

"Loving Echoes (In loving memory of Emperor Belos)" is one I was super fond of when I wrote it and I still think back to it when considering my best pieces. I just really liked writing the speech/monologue there.

[aralezinspace]

Writeblr Positivity Tag

was tagged by both @chromehoplite and @hangfiretales and haven't really had Brain to write so fingers crossed this helps get the juices flowing again xD Under a cut cuz I kinda went off with the answers xD

1. What motivates you to write?

Rereading my favorite stories, certain movies- I forget what Tolkien called it, but just the urge to create after seeing something beautiful that someone else has created. Also telling stories as a sort of release for the feelings/vibes/sentiments that I just don't have space to experience in my every day life.

2. A line/short snippet of your writing that you are most proud/happy of. If not maybe share a line of someone else's work you love (just please credit them)

From one of Megan’s stories I’m starting to rework so it’s one cohesive thing and not a tumblr RP thread xD

The truth… Megan laced her fingers and leaned forward, resting her forearms on her thighs. Her hazel eyes stared without focus into the distance. How much of the truth to tell him, at least at this moment.

3. Which OC makes you smile every time you think/talk about them and what are they like?

Guardian Megan Samuels. Both she and her order were created for/in the Doctor Who universe, but I'm tweaking some of the concepts for a potential OW. Writing her adventures got me through a really horrible period of my life.

Megan is the embodiment of one of my favorite tropes, "character is done with x but x isn't done with them (because they're good at it)." She was plucked from her life and remolded into a warrior, yet despite being hundreds of years old and seeing untold horros (time war) she hasn't succumbed to cynicism.

She's kind and self sacrificing almost to the point of martyrdom, very protective of the ones she cares about, "you said pick my battles, I'm picking all of them", the hardened exterior of a warrior hiding the fragile, broken, vulnerable, and somehow still kind and optimistic person underneath.

Fuck I miss writing her. Might be time to dust off her old stories...

4. What process of writing do you enjoy the most?

The semi stressful feeling when the ideas and plot are forming faster than your fingers can type- and when the flow stops, going back and tweaking the whole ass story or scene that just popped into existence like Athena did to Zeus xD just watching the story unfold before you, sometimes in ways you didn't think it would

5. What part of writing do you think you are the best at? (Yes stroke your own ego it's okay)

How I write action, specifically fights. Pacing it and varying the language so it's engaging but also realistic within the world of the story, and also the thoughts and feelings of the characters while they're fighting.

Also how I can almost always find the right/specific words to describe the vaguest of vibes and feelings, so that the ephemeral mess in my head is understandable (prob cuz I had to do that a lot to get people in my life to understand how I was experiencing the world)

6. What is something in the writeblr community is most enjoyable?

Both the commiseration about how writing is wonderful and awful at the same time, and seeing normally eloquent writers have incoherent unhinged conversations about their blorbos xD

7. A writing tool/device you use that helps you with writing? (It could be speech to text, a writing program etc)

Sticky notes and a notebook. I have post-its in the back of my writing notebook with all my ideas/prompts so that if I want to write something but don't know what, I can pick one. also specifically those notebooks with folders in them, they're the unsung heros of writers who just accumulate scrap paper with notes and ideas and want to keep them with their writing notebook (aka me) xD

8. A piece of worldbuilding that you like in your own story? (It could be the magic system, a particular place in the story, a law etc)

In the Doctor Who universe that Megan was originally created for, the Order of Guardians is formed of soldiers of different species from all over the universe, kind of like the Green Lantern corps but for Time Lords. Each Guardian is assigned a Time Lord to protect, how they go about that is their business (Megan is basically glued to the Doctor's hip, she gotta be xD), but their first loyalty is to Gallifrey. They are all enhanced to live as long as Time Lords but don't regenerate, they go through extensive training and schooling, are the elite fighting force of Gallifrey. Megan was the first human Guardian. I'm working on tweaking this whole concept for a potential OW, we'll see how it goes xD

9. What piece of advice would you say to encourage others to write if they are having a rough patch?

Write what you want to write, no matter what it is. Go to your sources of motivation, whatever makes you want to get lost in the magic of storytelling. and remember, it's okay to step away for a bit and come back to it in a few days or weeks or however long- give your brain the space to rest.

10. Tag some people whose works you love/have been your biggest supporters.

Both Chrome and Ama who are already tagged (such amazing writers and so supportive of my multi chap that I've been working on for 3 ish years now) but also @griever-bit-my-finger @honeybeezgobzzzzz @7-wonders @just-french-me-up @just-some-random-blogger @roguelov @cuckoo-on-a-string @peachesofteal @undiscovered-horizon @just-some-random-blogger All of these folks have multiple works that I've read multiple times, and I enjoy them just as much every reread as I did the first time (No pressure to do the questions just my undying love)

[like-rain-or-confetti]

Vanity Headcanon in response to the previous headcanon: Vanity does such sadistic things, like writing angst, not creating a masterlist, etc. bc of her trauma. Specifically, her doing it is an example of her self-sabotaging tendencies where she holds people to this unattainable standard (finding her fics which is nearly impossible with lacking tags a d tumblr beung tumblr for instance) and then becoming distraught and overwhelmed because of the surplus of her work and simultaneously relieved because of old works she might not be as proud of having a slimmer chance of being found. And then she teases ppl for it, happy that they desire her work and secretly relishing over the slight power she has over them, giving way to issues with control.

Girl, this was one to UNPACK 😂😂 Buckle up bois, we getting into my psyche 😂. Can't wait until I regret being so honest 😂

I reckon I do self sabotage a lot of things. Not so sure if i do with fics 😂 but fuck it, let's get into my mindset on fics 😂

I have a specific adoration for bittersweet angst. Like to be sad something is over with or a reminiscing a memory. If it's a break-up and there's nothing bittersweet about it. Nothing but hurt and I tend not to read it because for me it can fall into being told things are shit but not really going into it. I feel things rather deeply I'd say in life and naturally that comes out in fics. If I have to write something sad like death, I want to express the full thing, the pain, the hurt, the loss and grief and why those feelings are there. Kind of romanticising the everyday moments hoping that one day I can look back on my life and romanticise all the things I have done and who with. Rather than focus on the end goal of feeling successful by how much money I have, what my career was, how many kids I had and where they went to college. All things that was instilled in me at a young age, I want to be able to think. "In this picture, I might not remember how old I was but it made me really happy. In that moment, I was happy where I was and felt loved. I spent time with this person and that was enough." I want to focus more on memories and the connections I make rather than assets. I think that rubs off in my writing and because I'm a sentimental sappy lil shit, it usually comes out in angst.

Should probably throw in that I have mental illnesses and so sometimes it's hard to write about happy fluffy shit that doesn't make me think about what I'm missing, ehat i should be and blah de blah. 👀😂

But yes, my fics are very reflective because I do a lot of reflecting myself with some shitty things that have happened in my life and my pure dissatisfaction of how those experiences have shaped me and my struggles today so you might be onto something with the trauma part 😂

So scrolling back to a blog ago I decided after many many many many years of imagining stories in my head to cope with my struggles that I would put them on the Internet like other people did. I was terrified and made sure my identity was kept hidden. No one would ever find out who I was and those who did know me would never know this is what I do. I didn't even expect to do it very long but this...omg this is the highlight. I didn't think they'd get much attention. When I first did this, I was posting 11 stories a day.

Fast forward to the first time I'm asked about a masterlist...

I'm between 2-4 thousand fics in with no knowledge on how to make them. Vanity isnt tech savvy and half the time technology won't cooperate with Vanity. I'm well into a year or two of doing this.

Now I might be an arsehole for this thinking but that was a big old fuck thaaaaat. I'm working at the time, I have college and a job to hold down after that. It was a big ol' NOPE. Not possible. Plus, it's fine, people will grow bored of me and I'll fade away OR again, I won't be doing this for very long anyway.

I was wrong.

So what did I do? Made a tag system. You want this prat? Search the name, you'll find said prat here with the rest of him.

Then I was made aware that tumblr decided if you so much name drop a prat then said fics WILL BE INCLUDED. This was a problem BUT IM IN TOO DEEP AND NOW OVER 4000 FICS IN.

I'm also becoming aware that people aren't forgetting me. Infact I have more followers than I've ever had in my life and its approaching 1.7k. I have a rather nasty panic attack because it felt like all eyes were on me and i wanted to run like fuck...roughly ten mins into said panic attack, I deleted that blog.

ROLL IN THIS BLOG. Guess what, Vanity still can't make a bloody masterlist. People are screaming at me because they thought the lost me for good and I'm coming to terms with an alarming amount of people actually caring about my fics. But people weren't supposed to! This was just a random person trying to have a fun tome with her imagination that could only dream of people liking her stuff...AND IT WAS HAPPENING!?

But then a new challenger! Ya gal realises that she's written all these fics...and doesn't want them to be noticed but then why have I put them on the Internet for people to see!? Wtf!? Yet I keep going. "Please, don't see this. Please. Come on. Don't notice this." *presses post* "I'm actually shit at writing but it's fun, as long as people don't notice-* *reaches over 100+ notes*

Then the master lists come up AGAIN. She still doesn't understand how to do them and now I'm at 8000. Someone OFFERS to make one and I refuse because that's torture for me to even think of never mind let someone else do that. Live your life babe, I am not worthy of that valuable time.

Now I face intense imposter syndrome that I can't rationalise with. Feel giddy when I get feedback and grow confident to push my boundaries, get insecure and hide back into my hidey hole. Not to mention the constant feeling of letting people down when I don't consistently post and better yet, anything I do write is utter garbage and my supporters deserve better.

So kind of, more of me not knowing how to handle this stuff nor myself so I take it a day at a time and hiss at the thought of a masterlist. It hurts to think about. Like say I go through all the bother of making a bible of masterlists that'll require masterlists for the masterlists and then I have to UPDATE IT ALL THE TIME?

Nah, I have over 60 WIPs jumping around in my brain, I don't have the mental capacity. 😂 I mean I went into this thinking I'd grow out of it. IM STILL HERE AFTER ALL THESE YEARS THINKING "OH WHAT IF I BECAME AN AUTHOR?" Only to be realise I might have exhausted myself with the fanfic writing and even more so the strong feeling no one would want that. None of the characters I write about are mine and that's who the people are here for. Not to mention I DONT HAVE THE CONFIDENCE 😭 AS USUAL.

Ugh, I feel sick just thinking about all of this.😂

I don't think I just do. Writing is the do. Masterlists is the thinking.

props to those who read ALL OF THIS. You troopers, smooches ❤️

[noosayog]

Genuinely asking, what were your expectations about how readers would receive Atsumu after he did what he did? It's not exactly cheating, but it is still inconsiderate. That seems to be the sentiment that the audience holds. Regardless of how you feel about him, the audience will come to their own conclusions.

If people continue to read it despite not liking him, would that bother you? If so, why? I believe you said that you went through a similar situation. Does it feel like a personal attack on you when readers criticize the mc?

sorry y'all please block the discourse tag if you don't wanna read about this anymore but i think it's only fair that i answer all these as they're all fair questions/points.

i'm fully onboard with being upset with Atsumu and to tie it to my own experiences, that's exactly how I would want all my friends to support me. to validate that even though it's not technically "cheating," I deserved more than that when I was in that sitch. also, not sure when i ever said that readers can't come to their own conclusions about him or the relevance to this but let me know if anything I said came off that way.

that being said, all of this is more about the hate my mc is getting (also through asks that I've ignored, not just in the comments and rbs). Yes, actually, I do take this personally as I've admitted to multiple times already. I just responded to an ask elaborating further on my decisions on how I wrote the mc.

finally, does it bother me if people continue reading despite not liking him? no. again, this has never been about Atsumu or me arguing that he doesn't need to take accountability for his actions. Also not sure how exactly to answer this question because if readers hated the MCs enough, they would just stop reading this on their own.

[vermillioncrown]

umm I’m not sure if this is too troubling to ask but I’m kind of new to reading fanfictions and I’m confused with the self-insert tag? I’ve been looking for stories like yours but sometimes thing tagged self-insert are reader-insert stories while some have oc-inserts. also some oc-inserts aren’t tagged as self-inserts while others are. what’s the difference between the three tags?

new reader, welcome to the fold✌

there's a technical explanation for the differences, of course; but also due to common opinions and sentiments surrounding all three, the fact that creative writing means there's subjectivity, blah blah etc, there are reasons why there is this confusion and/or mislabeling.

(i really should be saving this type of effort for academic endeavors, but whatever)

the taxonomy of inserts

-inserts are a type of fic where someone not of canon is now part of the story, usually in a position of influence on the narrative. it implies something a little different than, let's say, fleshing out unnamed background characters that might as well be original characters. they drive the story, or this new story that the author is trying to tell.

they are all 'new' to the canon, so we can call them original characters, right?

no, because the differences between each insert lie in the source of the character's... characteristics, and each difference implies divergence in implementation, related genres and tropes, and how the fanfic audience receives them.

most obvious (to me, at any rate) type of story, the one unlike the others, is reader-insert. by some way of writing (typically second person pov and allowing spots for a reader to insert their own characteristics), the reader has an avatar as part of the story. some (y/n), or 'your name' and not 'yes/no' like how my eyes want to see it. if you've read choose your own adventure books, they typically are in the same format.

now for oc-insert and self-insert, the difference between them is difficult to cleanly explain. you can read about it on tv tropes, on fanfiction subreddits and forums, discuss it with others, but i feel like seldom do people acknowledge that how these two types of -inserts are defined is conflated with subjectivity, heuristics. not saying i'm the most objective person out there, but at least i'm being honest and i want to dissect this in as objective as a manner as possible.

oc-insert is an original character (obvious answer is obvious) that has been created to be the new driver of the plot in the fanfiction.

a self-insert is a character not of canon, written in to drive the new plot, that is a proxy of the author to some degree.

differences in implementation

again, we'll start with the reader-insert. by nature of using the audience as the source of definition for the character, writing style usually aims to capture a wide range of readers. readers that the author does not know, might have a good idea of, so there's a balance between being vague enough to appeal to different people, but not so shallow such that the story has a hook, gives readers a personal stake, stuff like that.

it's like... writing horoscopes or answers to personality tests. not all will apply, but enough of it will for readers to suspend disbelief and enjoy an experience.

oc-inserts are like any exercise in creating characters for writing. come up with a dude, give them traits, wind them up, put them in and watch them go. authors can try to adapt the pov or general narrative style of the canon for their new character, as a way to cement them into the canon - or choose something different that fits how close the author wants the reader to be to the oc.

self-inserts, then, you can say are just original characters modeled off the author. as proxies for the author, the typical writing style is 1st person like a reader is either sitting in the character's head or like the author is narrating directly to the reader (a friend telling you what happened to them).

"the only difference they make is the knowledge given to the reader where this -insert came from. their characteristics, likes and dislikes, strengths and weaknesses, personality, knowledge base, all that - is it a separate character that the author has created? or a character based on the author?"

i find that there's a little more nuance to the difference.

characters are characters; they aren't real people with full dimensions and hidden depths, nor do readers expect them to be. nor should authors treat them like such.

so the fact that the author is not a character means that a self-insert has more to them than an original character, for better or worse. characters and narratives work together, but with a proxy and a human mind actually driving the story, a self-insert can be more active and reactive.

differences in genres

what someone writes, why they write it then yields trends in that writing. without a systematic and wide-scale gathering of data, a lot of what i'm saying is limited in scope and difficult to divorce from biases. it's just the nature of human lack of omniscience ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

reader-inserts tend towards romance. pure, unabashed way to get down and dirty with your faves. even when it's not, it's less about the reader and more about this new perspective of looking at the characters, being part of their story rather than an observer. fanfic is about filling a hole left in you by canon - why not create and consume things that canon will never give you?

oc-inserts are normally there to shake up the existing dynamic and canon. you know, there's that quote... about stories. the story has happened, the character's fate was already set in stone from the first word on the first page. it's wonderful to see a story come together, plot and characters, because the characters are what they are. inertia and lack of change unless an external force acts upon the system, the oc-insert is there to make things happen (or have things happen to them).

wanting change - oc's can be either gen or romance, depending on fandom, demographic, so many factors. usually romance is not the focus, even if it exists. they can Know things about the canon they have been inserted into (venn diagram with isekai/transmigration). or it's an avenue to explore the sparser aspects of canon, different situations that other characters would not have been exposed to.

the degree of removal from the author gives space for a humongous range in the writing.

self-inserts, by nature of the author being so much closer to the character and story rather than the reader or a middle distance between both... the author picks themselves as the character because it's one of many options: easier to flesh out a character if there's already a baseline, they have a specific perspective that they wish to explore, they want to get close to the characters, they feel identity with the canon and want to put themselves there, they want to take change into their hands.

also dependent on fandom, demographic of the canon/fandom consumers, the genre is between gen and romance, tending towards romance focused.

differences in reception

holy fucking shit, there's no other way to feel about it - how welcomed each of these types of fic are in fandom is contentious. even those that say they are ambivalent towards one or all of these types say it in such a way like, "well, you can like dogshit and that's okay :)"

not everyone who writes -inserts is a teenage girl, but it's a huge majority. that's just the way fandom tends to roll, blah blah projection of self onto media and representation, i'm not getting into that.

there are many people that write -inserts. authors commonly skew young because the easiest way to connect to something they love at that age is to place a bit of themselves in there. learning other perspectives, empathy, those come with age and experience.

reader-insert fics are, i find, the best received. it's out to appeal to readers, after all. those who want to read them do so, and those who don't treat it with the politeness of a thoughtful but off-mark gift. 'no thank you'

the territory of reception for oc-inserts and self-inserts are very tangled because common criticisms are so tied to heuristics and assumptions, some of which are very unfair, and that contributes to the confusion between all the tags and even blatant mislabeling.

oc-inserts - fandom is formed around the canon, because they want to consume things about the canon. an original character is not exactly the content they want. those are the typical arguments.

but a thoughtfully written oc can explore aspects of canon that canon characters might not be able to. it can be an examination or critique of canon in the most valuable way. very unique stories can be told with these characters as vehicles.

if written poorly, this new character sticks out like a sore thumb in the canon.

it's a love-it-or-hate-it.

the biggest, most erroneous and conflated criticism i see of oc-inserts is that "they're just author wish fulfillment, they're just badly hidden self-inserts"

1) self-insert as in (derogatory), 2) author wish fulfillment

this kinda mixes with how a lot of people take creative endeavors by female creators as autobiographical, in the worst way. sure, what we know informs how we write, but authors and creatives exercise extrapolation all the time. this type of criticism is more telling on the critics than the writer.

because people are people, characters are characters, it's easier to say that how a character is written is consistent and appealing, rather than the inherent messy nature that is a human being. you don't know a person completely, who is someone to say that someone else isn't consistent? but because we are all different people, the self-insert tends to be more... colorful? they have more going on.

onto self-inserts, these are usually the worst received - of which commonly associated with being mary-sues, pure author appeal and self-indulgence.

a human will always have more depth than a character, and an individual has experiences that others don't - making them a unique expert in their own lives. with an appealing implementation, a self-insert can give perspective you can't find anywhere else because of the depth that the author can write about their own experiences, feelings, skills and knowledge base.

they are the most contentious because they skew so heavily towards the author that perhaps, many readers find it unrelatable. find it uncomfortable - like a stranger oversharing their life at the bus stop. or, as a fact, if it's a younger author with not as much life experience, there isn't much for them to bring to the table so to speak. with discomfort, people lash out. no one is telling them to sit with their discomfort and dissect it, so there's a bunch of shorthand that readers come up with to describe self-inserts that, yes while heuristically accurate, are not true.

another thing i tend to find is male writers unabashedly write self-inserts compared to female writers, and the type of tropes they have very much skew towards things that appeal to the author, favor their character, etc (e.g. harems) because of patriarchy/mindset from society/blahblahblah (if you can't be the center of attention irl, and society tends to favor your demographic, you feel owed that attention. you'll write it instead).

(why we have a lot of milquetoast guys that isekai and get everything lmao <- both fulfillment and other milquetoast guys able to project themselves)

the lack of distance between the author and the character as their avatar makes it difficult to expose the whole character, too. people usually don't like to take a close examination of themselves, good or bad. even to the most introspective, unless paired with exhibitionism there are parts of oneself that is difficult to portray or discuss.

ultimately, why people choose to even post fics rather just write and keep to themselves is... they want readership. they want attention, which is neither good nor bad. you create something, you want to share it. because of the weird feelings fandom has towards all three of these -inserts, and the desire to avoid accusations or recourse, people change up labels to do so.

or due to pressure. another '-insert' in mdzs, a game for the fool, i believe has been erroneous labeled self-insert because readers were pressuring the author to do so. you have to ask "why?" the author makes no statement that this character is based on them. but the fact that there are tropes that seem self-indulgent and overpowered, an older female insert, that tends to make readers feel unfavorable towards such a character. the whole assumption of the autobiographical. but out of politeness, not wanting to break some etiquette, or maybe truth, the author changed the label to self-insert.

anon i know you came here for a simple answer to what you thought was a simple question, but it's something i've spent a lot of time pondering. and i refuse to give an answer lacking any attempt to separate the subjective labeling given to these types of fic.

ultimately, however a fic is comes down to writer implementation. anything can be done well, just as anything can be done poorly.

[lovelytarou]

kiss me thru the phone — bakugo katsuki

— katsuki always calls you on the phone, making sure that it's his voice you hear when you wake and the one you'll listen to as you fall asleep.

pairing: bakugo katsuki x reader

tags: established relationship, swearing? cuz this is bakugo hehe. not proofread!!

genre: fluff, kinda angst

word count: 1.4k

a/n: 1/7 of the 200 follower event, i can just see him doing this lmao. sorry if the header doesn't look good, i tried my best (˘･_･˘) not at me saying i'll upload this yesterday night but it's already 2am here. it is what it is.

bakugo katsuki is a busy man. 

even when he was in his UA days, you always see him training by himself and excusing himself early to go study and then eventually, sleep. his friends often tease him for being a grandpa and not having time to go and have fun, but when he met you that's when he really started to let himself free and experience fun things with his friends albeit he's masking it as having “no choice but to join” under the guise of watching over his friends as to not make themselves look like idiots, but you know better. you know that when he says he doesn't care, you understand the meaning that he actually does. and deeply too.

he's just a big tsundere who cares a lot for the people he loves. 

now that he's a pro hero working his way up to the top, hectic times and cancelled dates cannot be helped. he has to always excuse himself and apologize over and over for not going to the date you both planned as promised and you always have to say that it's alright, that you understand over and over. and if anyone knew bakugo, it's that he would never settle for less. a simple ‘okay’ isn't enough for him. 

so when you woke up one morning to the ringing of your phone and the rare photo of your lover smiling instead of your cacophonous alarm, you knew it had to be one of those days where bakugo was feeling particularly soft for you.

rolling over on his side of the bed, you answered the call with a smile on your face despite him not seeing it. the warm streaks of sunlight coming through the windows illuminated your face, making you shut your eyes for a moment.

“hi, baby.” you croaked, voice scratchy and raspy upon waking.

you heard his chuckle on the other end before he greeted you as well.

“good morning, sleepyhead. it's 10am already, you should be getting your ass out of bed,” he scolded you. you rolled your eyes as you lied on your back, staring up at the ceiling while you twirled a piece of your hair like a lovestruck schoolgirl talking to your crush. 

“i know, i know. but the bed's still warm and i wanna stay in bed for a bit.” you whined, even pouting for effect that you knew he wouldn't resist. 

you heard him click his tongue in annoyance at your statement. knowing him, he's probably shaking his head in disapproval at your lazy behavior. 

“get the fuck out of bed or else your breakfast will get cold. you don't want to eat cold food, do you?" 

“wait, you made me breakfast?” you felt your stomach do flips at the thought of bakugo waking up early and even having the time and effort to cook for you. 

you heard him scoff at that, “course i did. i know your dumbass will complain about how i didn't cook you anything before i left if i didn't. so eat up, okay? i know i'm not always at home to eat with you and this is the only thing i can do to make you feel that you're not alone. and i'm sorry about that. i promise one of these days, i'll take you out for dinner, alright?” 

he can only hear sniffles and soft sobs on the other end as you nodded. 

“oi, are you crying?!”

“yes! why the hell are you so sweet? and it's too early for me to be crying like this!” you wailed, tears streaming down your face like a waterfall, trying your best to wipe them away with your night shirt. 

“i'd like that very much. you're the best, katsuki. take care and good luck at work!” 

“i know i am, babe. take care as well, don't wait up for me tonight, i'll call you.” you both bid your goodbyes with words of love before he hung up to do his hero work and for you to get ready for the day. you ate your breakfast with a smile on your face and heart feeling much fuller than your stomach with the thought of katsuki.

some days, when he's away on a mission, he'd love to call you randomly and he wouldn't even care if you're doing something or if you're busy. what he knows is that he needs to hear your voice more than anything. 

on a particularly busy and dreadful day, bakugo had called you during work and you picked it up without second thoughts, worry already clouding your mind. 

“tsuki baby!” you greeted in a joyful tone. your smile evaporated when he didn't return the sentiment.

“katsuki? are you okay? what's up, baby?” you tried to make your voice as soothing as possible, knowing that any other unwelcoming approach might set him off.

he sighed on the other end, and you can only guess what happened.

“i'm fine...just...i missed your voice,” his own had a low timbre to it, sort of a deep vulnerable tone he only let you hear when he wanted you to see his true self without the facades and the mask. 

“i'm here now, katsuki. do you wanna talk?” being a pro hero can be stressful as much as he loves it. he's also human, and he can only handle as much when faced with a lot of obstacles in life.

“yeah, that'd be nice. tell me about your day, how are you?” he might be diverting the topic towards you instead but you indulged him in his request and started to tell him about your day – from the time you wake up to the time you arrived to work.

“oh! and um, i also bumped into my old friend a while ago. they asked me about you and i told them that we should meet up someday, you know, like a double date?” 

“sure, yeah. i'd love to meet them. they seem like a cool person.” 

“they are! anyway, what about you? anything happened in there on the mission?” you waited patiently for his response which he appreciated a whole lot than what you realize. 

“it was okay. the mission was going smoothly with everyone helping and then...i just, we rescued this man and his...wife got–” he faltered, you heard him choke a sob through the phone and you can only wish you can hold him right at that moment if you weren't only miles away from each other. 

“it's okay if you don't wanna continue, tsuki. i understand this is heavy for you. i'm sorry you have to suffer through that alone. i wish i can be there for you,” in your head, you're imagining that you're comforting him and kissing his worries away as he's nuzzling into your neck. and you'd tell him that everything will be alright and that you'll always be there for him.

“i'm sorry...thank you, for staying with me and being in my life. i wouldn't know what i'd do without you, honestly. maybe be the same asshole that i was before we met,” he joked, chuckling at the fond memory that felt like ages ago today. 

“no worries, babe. you know i'm always here if you want to talk. i'll listen and you can never talk my ear off because i love listening to you sexy voice.” you teased, knowing it would make him as red as a tomato. the both of you laughed and it felt like you're together, probably at home as you lounged in the living room without worrying about anything.

“whatever. i like hearing your voice too, i guess. anyway, i gotta go in a few minutes. i'm calling again later before you sleep, make sure you don't doze off on me!” you can practically imagine the smoke coming out of his ears as he yelled at his phone.

“yes, yes, i will. i already told you i'm sorry! go kick some villain ass in there, baby. i'll be waiting for you back home.” 

“good. goodbye, i miss you. stay safe and always lock your door and the windows! don't stay up too late or i'll swim there to make you sleep myself–”

before he went on a tangent about his usual scoldings you told him that you still had work to do and he can save them for later, but you felt warm inside knowing this is how he tells you he loves you without really saying them. time and distance may keep you away from each other, but your love can travel through great distances and defy all odds. 

Taglist: @chibishae34