#ajkdhs last but not the least.

[gowyuko]

Had there existed a time when Ko Gowyu had been nothing of what he was now? Perhaps a time when he’d been a young boy, without any worries in the world, playing and running along with his friends. Or even the idea that he’d been close enough to someone to call them more than a mere acquaintance but even worse a friend.

There had been a time as such; it was but long ago.

The fae realm possessed magic that Gowyu would catch himself missing more than he ought to, because behind all that was ethereally beautiful in his homeland, there also was something ugly that made him nauseous at the thought of returning. The mere thought of finding himself back there, stuck and unable to leave. Gowyu had left something rotten to the core, but the way it’d corrupted him from within, he was not regretful of, rather, Gowyu was grateful for the lessons it’d taught him as a young child. 

Two hundred years he’d been when betrayal had landed at the tip of his tongue and the furry of it had sent him almost commiting a crime that would not have seen any mercy, not even from his dear mother. From his father, Gowyu had never expected anything, the respect he had for him would never compare to the affection he carried for Inyri. A conversation between Tooen and Inyri started the spiral, Sayge’s name for the first time putting forth a conflict against their name. 

Another one, more sinister than the other, of contempt and how Gowyu would never get them where they needed to be and his sister would be a better bet. But alas, she’d been gone for so long and it did not seem as if she would return anytime soon. That did start to plant the seed of envy, because the whispers came from mouths that had smiled at him, hands that had held him and voices that had carried to shower him with praises that Gowyu had soaked in years after years. 

It led to doubts; did his mother also think the same of him while she told him she loved him? Was it the kind of love that was only displaced because the truly adored one was not complying with the rules of her lineage? Gowyu had been red with rage, but deep somewhere within, a place that had ceased to exist now, he’d also been hurt. Far from being the innocent and docile fae he’d always portrayed himself to be, Gowyu had always thought that he’d one day be the pride of his clan. 

He’d been socially thriving, the facade had been paying off, he’d been doing so good at making connections, creating himself links that would strengthen his position in the clan; or so he’d thought. Gowyu had been nothing else but a puppet in a game that many had been playing, a piece that was only pushed forward and idolized because the main one had fiercely locked its defenses and refused to let anyone try to climb up to its fences. 

The hurt had come from the thought that he’d been getting played as much as he’d thought he’d been playing the field as well. The anger, he’d let it diffuse by returning to his chambers and doing something he’d grow fond of doing over the next years to come; sitting in the dark and letting his thoughts invade him in the shape of shadows that carried somber whispers. In this darkness that would soon come to carry no light, there had been something close to it before the downward spiral. 

Gowyu had grown more suspicious, more paranoid of people’s intentions, of all of them, even his own mother. All but one person. Their voices had not been present during the conversation that he'd accidentally heard talking of him as if he was nothing but an insect in a world of predators. Gowyu had had one person to consider keeping his trust in, they’d grown up together. Ran through the years with smiles and laughter that no one else had genuinely brought forth from him. 

Contrary to what he’d wanted to seem like for so many years, Gowyu had never felt emotions the way he’d supposed it should have been felt. He’d always had this vague sense of what he should have been and his mother’s affection had slowly softened the parts that had wanted to harden before its time. But this friend had done something Gowyu had never thought himself capable of doing; they’d brought out sincere feelings. 

Had it been a spell? The Gowyu of now would affirm it had. The Gowyu of then was only a simpleton who thought this was a gem, something that belonged to him, made for him. He’d jealously cherished this friendship like he’d cherished nothing else before. If he could have locked it up in a shell that only he could access with a magic word, he would have. An idea he’d entertained very young, an idea that had tasted bitter the day his friend turned his back on him and spoke with a venom that Gowyu had never known to taste so sweet before. 

Ko Gowyu had always known that snakes were the most powerful; slithering, double edged tongue and the strength to suffocate a prey that outweighed them by triple at times. They were marvelous. He’d always had a fascination for the kind. Dragons had always seemed to be just a bigger imitation of the one animal that ruled supreme. Subtle in the way they preyed, their venom capable of poisoning over a period of time and the warmer the blood, the faster the spread. 

But Gowyu had had to get bitten and filled with the cold reality of it, feeling it spread from roots to tips before realizing that he too; had been born with the ability to sink his fangs in veins and never let go until his prey had succumbed to his venom. Because what it’d done to him was to know that the last person he expected to betray him had always planned on doing so; had only befriended because he wanted to have Gowyu eventually present him to the first born of the clan. There would, after all, be no greater honor than to find their place at her side as a mate. 

Gowyu had started seeing green, at first, not from envy, hatred, or jealousy; but from the bite of another snake. It marinated overnight in the darkness of his chambers; rather than killing him, it grew and it festered an ugly wound that began to spread like an illness. A fever that began to grow faster than any mold. Gowyu had still had the thought of locking this rotten snake, this time only to see how long one could stay under a rock that weighed heavy enough to crush the bones but not give the mercy of death. 

Then his mind lashed onto the one common thing behind everything that had begun to transpire; the first born of the Ko, Sayge. 

Gowyu had spent quite a few days locked in, refusing to eat and refusing to sleep as he hissed. He’d felt the scales on his back and down his arms; he’d seen in the darkness, his eyes turn the color of a serpent and he’d found himself unable to speak without his tongue darting forward and sliding against his teeth. The whispers would sound like millions of snakes crawling up his ears, their venom would bulge in his veins and grow exponent to the point that one night he’d slept and awoken to his curtains pulled and a wet cloth against his forehead. 

Inyri’s face had come from a blur above his face; Gowyu had felt nothing at first. 

“What have you done, child of mine?” 

His mother’s voice, he’d always loved the way it sounded; so Gowyu had let himself shed the last of his skin with it lulling him back to sleep in the background. 

After seven days of unrelenting fever; Ko Gowyu had awakened a changed fae.

[myrcella]

*cracks fingers* love to see nerevarine ocs!! ok so, she has such an interesting background and the way she's tied into the entire franchise *chef's kiss* perfection! i;'m reallyy interested in what's going on with her and dagoth ur because there's only questionmarks ajkdhs (whatdoesitmean?whatdoes it mean?meme. jpg) ALSO could you tell us how did she take it when she first found out that she's a reincarnation? does she take it seriously? is she in general feeling at home in morrowind? thank

AHHHHH thank you so much for asking i’m so happy you’re interested 😍✨

her relationship with dagoth ur is as dreamy, mysterious and between planes of reality as it can get with someone who’s dead and just a projected entity. the dreams he sends to her feel so vivid but also abstract, and they confuse alavesa; feeling like a wedding ceremony, feeling like she knows him (and of course she did once, when she wasn’t alavesa, but nerevar!). i’m seriously playing with the idea of an au of my canon where she joins the sixth house... as his corpse bride p much... watching the blight devour tamriel, siring him sons and daughters, though the world won’t last under the heel of dagoth ur. before reality itself gets consumed though i had an idea that she finally achieves CHIM herself with voryn’s guidance... only to use it against him and reverse all of his work ;_; it’s such a disturbing, layered and lengthy relationship.

when alavesa finally allows herself to believe she’s nerevar, ‘cause let’s face it it’s a very wild thing to accept you were such a hero in a past life, she isn’t really smug or happy about it—she’s sad. she’s sad seeing vivec, knowing (according to the ashlanders, we all been knew but i realise the nerevarine probably wouldn’t concretely) that he may have murdered her, at the very least he knew her once. she’s sad nerevar was killed. she’s sad that a hero failed. will she fail too? she’s racked with grief to learn of the other failed incarnates, that’s a very depressing storyline for her. and being told she’s immortal from the corprus... there’s so many revelations, and feeling out of place, and battles with herself, because who is she? she’s nerevar, she’s not someone new, she’s not alavesa?! who is she masquerading as? what is inside of her? has anything she’s ever done been an unconscious action or planned with her since she has this nerevarine destiny? an identity crisis grips her for sure.

re: feeling at home in morrowind—not particularly. which is awful for someone who comes to their homeland after living a life of isolation, but you know how dunmer treat outlanders, even if they’re obviously another dark elf. cyrodiil was so harmonious, and morrowind is marshy, alien and riddled with cliques...