#alastor- eats like that once to piss people off

[popamolly]

‘PRETTY GIRL!’ LUCIFER MORNINGSTAR

summary. lucifer gets jealous and wants to remind you that you belong to no one but him.

warning. smut, overstimulation, established relationship, you and lucifer are married, alastor gets flirty with you, lucifer is a soft dom, vibrator, squirting, semi-public sex??, please don’t fuck where people eat/make food lmao, 18+ minors dni, kinda proofread sorry

author’s note. this is a 500 followers special! thank you all so much for the constant love, enjoy sinners.

𖤐 MASTERLIST

Lucifer and you had been frequenting the Hazbin Hotel ever since the tearful reunion between father and daughter. You didn’t mind, in fact, you encouraged it not just because you thrived off seeing your step-daughter Charlie and your husband happy but also because you would take any excuse to step out of that dreadful palace Lucifer and you called a home. It was just so boring and bland there where as the Hazbin Hotel was always lively and filled with some life threatening chaos that was exhilarating.

Now that you were back at the Hotel, you helped around whenever you could with enthusiasm. You were in charge of hanging up the banner that welcomed the new sinners but alas, the fixture was to high and your darling husband wasn’t anywhere in sight to help you.

As if sensing your distress, Alastor appeared from the shadow on the floor next to you with a wide grin, “Would you like some assistance, your majesty?”

“Yes, yes thank you.” You allowed Alastor lift you up onto his shoulder by your waist so you could tape up the banner. Once you found your balance, you began to quickly tape up one corner of the banner, trying to ignore the way Alastor’s fingers grazed along your thigh as he held you in place.

This was all a spectacle to be sure because you had no doubt that the radio demon could have manifested into something taller to help tape it up himself but you were sure this had something to do with his resentment toward your husband— though their feelings toward each other were mutual, “A little to the left Al…perfect, thank you.”

“Hoho, what is this?” The sound of your husband’s voice had you turning your head slightly to look at him just as Alastor set you back down on your feet with a knowing grin.

“Well, I—”

“I was only helping this darling damsel in distress as her husband was no where to be found,” Alastor’s grin widens as he turns to you with a respectful bow of his head, “If you need anything else, my dear. Anything at all. Do not hesitant to ask.” His staticky tone left a hint of suggestiveness that you picked up on and it left Lucifer practically seeing red. You cursed yourself being so caught up in helping Charlie that you didn’t mind accepting Alastor’s help for the simplest of tasks.

As you looked at Lucifer you realized that you should’ve maybe gotten a ladder before you even thought about letting the radio demon touch you because now you were going to pay the price for it.

And pay you did.

“W-Wait, Lucifer..!” Your eyes rolled into the back of your head in pure bliss as Lucifer rocked his hips into you even though you already came You both still had a whole task of things to do before the new sinners arrived at the hotel but Lucifer couldn’t wait. The moment you stepped into the nearest room, which was the kitchen, he pounced on you. He laid you on the marble island counter, fumbling with his pants belt.

“What were you going to tell me? Not to worry about that freaky bastard?” Lucifer loomed over your figure with that playful grin, his tongue sticking out as he spread your legs wider for him, "What's wrong? hm? I bet he wishes he could fuck you like this.”

"I—fuck— was going to say that he was only helping me!" You part your lips, "P-Please, right there—!"

“Was he now?” Feeling that you were about to cum, Lucifer picked up the pace, his hand around your throat as he ruts into you ruthlessly. He was so pissed, so jealous— how dare that radio demon flirt with you? Touch you? Who did he think he was?

"You hear that?" Lucifer brought his hips back only to snap them forward again, the squelch sound that came from how wet you were had your whole body heating up, "Listen to how wet you are and that’s all because of me."

You felt that coil within you about to snap with an orgasm. Your legs trembling and toes curling as you felt it approaching fast. Lucifer was not holding back tonight and the overstimulation you felt had your mind going into a haze, "please, please, please!"

"c'mon gorgeous," Lucifer let out a low groan, tossing his head back, "fuckkk, cum for me again."

At his words you came, a small scream leaving your throat as you felt your orgasm wash over you. Still coming down from your high, Lucifer gives you a couple of seconds to recover before moving his hips again. He materializes a vibrator in his hand before placing it directly onto your clit.

You shuddered, hand moving down to grip his wrist as tears escaped your eyes from the overwhelming pleasure, "Lulu, p-please—!"

"I know your limits," Lucifer says with that prideful smile, his voice dominating, "Move your hand."

Your move your hands to grip your thighs, the built trust between you was enough for you to see this mind blowing pleasure through, "W-Wait, I'm going to— ah~!"

Lucifer lets a glob of spit leave his mouth, you felt it hit directly onto your naked cunt, watching as his saliva coats your already soaked clit and slides down the sides of his length before pressing the vibrator into you harder, "You're going to cum for me again."

You shake your head, pathetic sobs escaping past your lips, "I don't think I c-can Lu—!"

"Yes you can sweetheart, and you will," His words cause a shiver to go down your spine. "Look at this sloppy pussy taking my cock so well."

You look up at Lucifer with pleading eyes, your hand resting on his chest as if to push him away, your nails pressing tiny crescents into his skin, "I'm g-going to c-cum—! Don't stop, r-right there—! Fuck!"

The sight of you crying and succumbing to the pleasure was exhilarating in Lucifer’s eyes. His beautiful wife was a sobbing, drooling, trembling mess before him. You were dick drunk and high off pleasure, your words coming out in broken fragments.

Just as he was getting flustered at the way you were presented before him, he couldn't help but think about Alastor in so close proximity to you. Had he thought about you in this way before? That question alone made Lucifer’s mind come up with endless possibilities, making the jealousy rise within him as his blood boiled.

He thrusted into you harder, the sound of skin slapping against skin echoing throughout the room as he made sure to angle his thrust, repeatedly hitting you in all the right places. He pressed the vibrator impossibly deeper into you, making you arch your back with a sudden scream,

"L-Lucifer!"

With one final thrust, Lucifer had sent you spiraling over the edge as you squirted around his length, making his thighs and the counter wet with your essence.

Lucifer pulled out of you quickly to slap his cock against your clit, rubbing it against your folds harshly to relish in the lewd sound before thrusting back into you slowly to cockwarm you, "There you go love, good girl.”

You trembled, a string of hiccups leaving your mouth as Lucifer laced his fingers with yours, leaning down to kiss you sweetly as if he didn't just fuck you dumb,

"You did so well for me, darling."

Meanwhile on the other side of the wall sat the bar Husk was currently stationed at with Angel, who’s jaw was nearly on the floor at the sounds that just came from the kitchen, “Did we just hear the big boss man and his lady gettin’ it on in there?”

“Nope,” Husk denied it. After all, ignorance was bliss, “I didn’t hear a thing.”

© POPAMOLLY 2024 all fanfics belong to me, do not copy, translate, or repost on any other social media.

[redr0sewrites]

Can you write Vox x reader where like the reader just says like really unhinged things and just like vile things whenever they rage and stuff like the internet could be slow or smth and the reader is just like “IM GOING TO RIP OFF MY SKIN” idk man I’m kinda just self projecting rn like you can right anything with it tbh idk sorry for rambling anyway you don’t have to do this if you don’t wanna

THIS IS SO MEEEEE I LOVE THIS IDEA SM!!! sorry it took me a hot minute to reply to this i have over 70 hazbin hotel requests in my inbox 😭

🥀Cw: fluff, crack, silly vox

when he first met you, vox was charmed by your seemingly sweet nature- that is, until you were pissed

your unholy screech of how you were going to rip off your skin if he cut the wifi again was both endearing and confusing in his eyes

vox would just short circuit for a second, just blinking at you while he tries to process what you just said

once it clicks, he just starts giggling. vox very rarely genuinely laughs, most of his laughs are professional or part of the persona he adopts as the leader of vox enterprises, but when he's so shocked by what you just said, he can't control the booming laughter thay fills the room

he's wheezing and gasping, each barking laugh only pissing you off more

"what's so funny? if you keep laughing i am going to fucking break ur fingers like carrot sticks!" you snap, and vox only giggles harder

after a few seconds, you can't help but notice how adorable his laughter is, and soon you don't mind it as much

once you two are officially together, you notice how stressed vox often is, yet how he seems to visibly relax around you

the batshit crazy things you say, which normally disgusts other people, only seem to amuse him

its actually a wonderful dynamic because you bring some spontaneity and slight insanity into vox's otherwise irritating and depressing lifestyle, and vox balances out the crazy things you say and calms you down every time

you often find yourself searching for new phrases to baffle him with, and for new ways to make him laugh

after vox has a stressful day, he enjoys just listening to you ramble about the most insane things and adores hearing whatever fucked up saying you've adopted recently

vox notices himself beginning to copy your speech patterns. he only begins to realize when he slips in an exceptionally odd metaphor into a work meeting and everyone stares at him, yet his heart skips a beat at the thought

there's something so charming to him about the fact that he's adopting your mannerisms, and you truly make him laugh when no one else can

whenever another one of the vees pisses him off, he always comes to you for advice on incredibly deranged comebacks, and you never disappoint!

he's won multiple arguments by just repeating one of your fucked up sayings and the other vees being too lowkey shocked to disagree

vox LOVES IT when you diss people he hates, hearing you ramble some fucked up insults about alastor made him fall in love with you all over again

"that worm on a string fucked up karen cut bob looking ass- if i see him around here again im going to eat a fucking brick" *cue vox looking at you with the biggest heart eyes*

overall, you are both menaces, but you're menaces in love ♥️

vox lay with his head in your lap, the blue light of his screen illuminating the dim room as you rambled mindlessly about your day.

"and THEN, this fucking asshole tried to flirt with me! ME!! as if he doesn't know were dating! ugh, it makes me feel like i have an entire beehive living beneath my skin. i swear if he even looks at me again im going to lick wet cement i can NOT deal. how can you even work with him? he's such a fucking CREEP voxy, i'm going to cut off those ugly ass wings and shove them so far down his throat- hey, are you even listening?"

you look down to see vox half asleep, his eyelids drooping as his light dimmed. "keep talking.." he murmurs, looking up at you with a lazy smile on his face. "you're my favorite person t' listen to.."

i love the idea of vox with a partner who challenges his very idea of power. he clearly wraps himself in a sort of persona, surrounding himself with powerful people and acting like he's so serious and important. i love the idea of him falling in love with someone who can break down his walls in seconds, someone who can dismantle his entire bravado act and who allows him to truly be himself. this is such a wonderful prompt and i am eating this up. nonnie ur awesome!!!!

[a-dauntless-daffodil]

horse girl charlie morningstar, her partner in a cool hat and eye patch vaggie, and the Hazbin Horse Rehabilitation Ranch- where shit people are introduced to horses no one else wants and hopefully no one get trampled to death (niffty this means YOU)

other key features include

vaggie riding a small working horse and ppl keep calling it a pony and she keeps telling them It's Not A Fucking Pony

charlie and her beloved mule, who never listens to her

angel dust wanting to learn dressage bc it looks like "fancy sexy riding" and also he was banned from mentioning the words "bare back" or "bucking bronco"

husk constantly found drunk and asleep in his horse's stall while said horse nuzzles him

niffty obsessing over grooming all the horses down to their individual hairs, yes even the bad tempered horses, yes she likes it when they shmoosh her against a wall or step on her foot

alastor looking calm collected and in control on his horse as he wanders off from the group and never participates in activities bc his horse won't listen to him either and he's too proud to admit it

sir pentious keeps trying to make his horse look and preform the best using his own new designs for tack and gear and it always backfires but he's the go-to one if your saddle needs adjusting or fixing

his egg boiz are a flock of chickens

his horse keeps eating the chickens' eggs and he keeps crying over it, even when charlie tells him they wouldn't have hatched into chicks anyway

lucifer lives in a shack somewhere around here with his collection of customized my little pony brushible toys

the locals in the nearest town still talk about lilith's incredible horse whispering skills before she up and vanished

charlie gushes about these stories a LOT but laughs nervously if asked about her own way with horses

she tries.

her way of making sudden loud squees and eeeks and excited yells and wild energetic movements doesn't fit well with most of the horses

she also slips up and gets flaming mad at anything that threatens her family's ranch or anyone who mistreats a horse

angry charlie is Scary Charlie

her mule doesn't care tho it knows she's a pushover treat giver

when vaggie first figured out what was happening she spent weeks with her own horse slowly getting it used to all sorts of weird charlie-related things, including stealing charlie's jacket a few times to flap it wildly while chasing her horse around the paddock singing loud show tunes

vaggie's horse is the only one that'll let charlie ride it without being a nervous wreck

charlie maybe cried a little when she went for that first ride

vaggie has a shot gun

she spends a lot of time checking on things riding far out and alone and keeps the gun with her just in case

she's never actually threatened any of their human boarders with the shot gun but she does have an unnerving tendency to check and clean it whenever she's pissed and trying to keep some shred of her patience intact

every week there's at least one night set aside for an evening dance after dinner and yes chaggie was doing it long before any other ppl showed up

valentino showed up once and charlie chased him off the premises with vaggie's shotgun

the ranch used to have a television

now it has a radio tower

no one except alastor is happy about it but his radio commercial revenue is paying for most of this so they all keep mostly quiet about their grumbling and record voice lines for ads when he looms over them with a script

vaggie swears the time she shot out the radio tower's windows while arguing with alastor over her and charlie's voice lines was a complete accident

razzle and dazzle are ranch dogs who keep track of the horses when they're out grazing and both are COMPLETELY in tune with charlie, been with her since childhood, the three can basically read each others' minds and watching them all work together is like watching magic

(vaggie also knows how to work with them but has to use more obvious signals instead of just tiny changes in body language)

vaggie keeps trying to gently remind charlie there are events for dog handling she could enter in

but the ranch was lilith's passion and rehabilitating rejected horses her dream and charlie is not not giving up on that OR on the rejected people her mom always was so proud of and charlie is NOT letting herself think for one moment that her mom isn't coming home

speaking of coming home

chaggie met when charlie was out riding after a storm looking for a lost horse and found it staring curiously down at a half dead lady lying in a ditch with a freshly gouged out eye and burns on her back

the half dead lady claimed she shot out her own eye by accident and got hit by lightning

or maybe fell asleep on a campfire uhh

charlie was way too busy figuring out normal social interactions again and also how to patch up a pretty lady without being a complete fool about it to question vaggie's super realistic tale

vaggie was planning on staying just long enough to get on her feet again- especially after she started catching feelings watching charlie being sweet with all the stubborn horsies- and seeing how much charlie was struggling with the ranch without having someone else to look after

she was even gonna steal a horse on the way out

and got caught by charlie in the act

charlie just smiled sadly, told vaggie she was glad she wasn't heading off alone, told vaggie's horse to take care of her, and then went back to the daily chores

vaggie caught up with her an hour later

she'd had to properly put her horse away and get breakfast started first, for after they've finished up the morning stuff

they've been running the ranch together ever since

keekee the cat is the actual boss on the ranch and got her name from how doors always open for her (bc she bothers whoever's around until they drop what they're doing to obey her)

cherri bomb stops by once just to laugh at angel dust and ignore pentious but ends up being the only one who figures out why the new horse is spooking at everything- it's got hearing loss, and she's got it too from doing endless unlicensed fireworks shows, and she's totally just sticking around until the horse gets used to things here. totally

[emo-trash101]

HELLO HELLO ONYX,DEARIE!!

I'm baaaack!~

(me,coming to your blog when I have an Idea because I want to feed you: )

The platonic asker,yours truly,has come once more to request a new platonic headcanon!

May I please have platonic! any character you'd like (Maybe Alastor,Vox and Lucifer,but you may change that as always! All characters are welcome.) With Child!Gn!Reader that randomly goes out (maybe teleports? Idk,just a random idea) and brings back random sinners (mostly poor and homeless) at the hotel/the character's work and goes "They wanted to work for/with you!!" with that little sweet and innocent voice of theirs? They're really naive and talks to everyone really kindly,a bit like my first ask! They're just a sweet sunshine kid that wants to help those in need! It's not their fault there are bad people that may use them,they just want to help!!

Anyways,I think that's good for me!!

Here's another reminder to take care of yourself! Eat,drink and sleep well,honey!

Enjoy writing this new prompt <33

Stay proud,

-Nina <33

I MISSEDD YOUUUU!!! And that prompt is giving me flashbacks to when I brought a feral raccoon into my house when I was a little kid lmao. But I love this!

Alastor, Vox, and Lucifer x Sweet Child! reader

THIS IS STRICTLY PLATONIC AND SHOULD ONLY BE TAKEN AS SUCH

Pronouns: Second person, gender neutral

Tw: Kidnapping? (Can a child kidnap someone?), pedos, general hazbin hotel

Alastor -

- I would say this man would be disappointed but in all honesty, he probably taught you how to steal people by accident.

- It would most likely take place after Charlie goes on one of her rants about how she needs more people at the hotel, and you being the cute little child you are, waddle away to go find some.

- I feel like he wouldn't particularly notice you missing until you show back up, random ass sinner in tow.

- Obviously you get lectured by everyone for stealing a person off the street and bringing him to where you live.

- cause...y'know...pedophiles happen to be in hell.

- But after you pull out the cute little eyes and the "I just wanted to help" everyone kinda gives up.

- Alastor does make you release him back outside like a butterfly you grabbed (omg that is something I never thought I would write)

Vox -

- As I've mentioned before, this man kinda lowkey sucks.

- Like Alastor, probably accidentally taught you how to steal someone, but he probably did it on purpose or some shit.

- You'd most likely see him murder fire another one of his workers and decide that he needs an immediate replacement.

- So you take your two little feet and waddle down the streets of hell asking anyone and everyone if they want to work for Vox.

- Obviously everyone wants to work for the Vees, so you end up bringing like a hoard of people to the office and kinda just, bring them in.

- As I've mentioned, this man would not notice you being gone like, ever, so when you magically show tf up with like 70 people all in tow, he is partially impressed and partially confused.

- He asks you why you brought so many people and you just look up at him with your cute little baby doll eyes and go "I thought you needed someone to replace mr. dead guy".

- He honestly kinda appreciates it and gives you a little pat on the head as he kills kicks out everyone you brought.

Lucifer -

- This man pays copious amounts of attention to you so the fact you were able to waddle away to go collect people off the street is honestly astounding.

- He was like, super art blocked and could not come up with another idea for a duck, and it was starting to piss both of you off.

- So you do your little thing and walk off by yourself to collect another person to help come up with some sweet succulent duck ideas.

- Well turn out, creepy people exist in hell (surprise surprises).

- So a creepy ass guy follows you to the palace and when you get back Lucifer panics.

- He was worried you died or something and was about to go find you when you show up with a rando behind you.

- Lucifer politely scolds you for running off like that, but before you could introduce him to the guy you found to help, the guy left.

- So you give up and instead devote a lot of your time to making a new rubber duck

- Lucifer ends up making a duck that can track where you are incase you go wandering off again.

This was so funny to write, I hope y'all enjoyed reading it!

[kodamaghost00]

30 Alastor Headcanons

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[Disclaimer!!]

This is for entertaining purposes only,so if you don’t enjoy these things just scroll past please!This post will contain: Sfw, Fluff, Romance!

It’s also Genderless for the girls,gays and theys! You are a new Resident at the Hazbin hotel in these scenarios.

———————————————————

Let’s begin!

The first day you checked in the Hazbin Hotel he came up to you. “Hello Dear! And what does a sinner like you do here?” You just look down with a frown on your face. He pulls your chin up to look at him “Smile dear! You’re never fully dressed without one!”

He never makes the first move. He patently waits till someone approaches him just to turn them down.

The first time you saw him eat lunch you were… disturbed to say the least. You knew that cannibals are common in hell but you never saw one in person.

You were a long fan of Alastor. You listened to his broadcasts long before you met him in person. You were also super sad when he went missing for 7 years.

Alastor walks around hell knowing that no one’s going to challenge him. So he hums sweet melodies to himself while walking around.

He loves to dance with you while listening to jazz music.

After he lost Mimzy he had basically no friends at all that he knew from the living realm. Not that it matters to him but you feel sad somehow.

He drinks wine mixed with blood. Only sometimes though since he begins to ramble when he’s drunk. “Have you listened to my RADIO broadcast before dear??”

He was suspicious of you when you first entered. He didn’t know if you truly wanted to be here. You might cause trouble to him.

He has a bunch of scars on his body due to his fights back in the day.

He is an excellent cook. He sometimes prepares breakfast for the people in the hotel.

Charlie is such a cutie. She’ll go up to you and ask if you and alastor are doing well. And if you’d say “no” she’ll try to cheer you up.

He loves taking you out to fancy dinners around the town. No one interrupts your little dates. “Are you enjoying it, dear?”

Sometimes when you’re overwhelmed with everything he comes into your room and puts up some relaxing jazz. “Care to dance with me my love?” You nod and begin to dance.

He lets you touch his ears occasionally. You can tell they’re well maintained by the fluffiness. You even asked if you can see his tail. He allowed it after a long discussion.

Husk and niffty get along with you super well. You began talking to them, trying to get more out of them about Alastor. Husk would tell you about his past if it was appropriate.

When you asked him if he’s sad about not having any friends he just laughed. “Haha! Dear you know I’m better off without them.” He smiles brightly.

He sings under the shower. Mostly old jazz songs.

Cats>>>> Dogs. Mostly related to his past but he’s over all a cat person.

He wouldn’t understand the new terms for the sexual agenda, even though Charlie tried to explain it to him multiple times.

He and Rosie are best friends since forever. He also promotes her shop every now and then.

He’s super old fashioned so he’d call you “Dear” or “My love”.

He actually cares about the reputation and safety of the hotel.

He is a mamas boy. He treats woman super nicely since his mom raised him to be a gentleman.

Him and Zestial were fighting buddies back in the early days of hell. He calls Zestial old just to piss him off.

He likes being the small spoon while cuddling.

He punched Susan once after she called his staff tacky and useless. She truly is an old bitch.

He used to live in cannibal town near Rosie. They would go out and talk about everything.

Rosie was the one to show him how to style his hair. She also did his makeup once and since then he never tried a new style.

He defends you every time someone is mean to you. “Huh? Oh… I shouldn’t have killed them? Well! It’s done now so there’s no going back!”

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MASTERLIST

Thank you all for reading! Alastor has been my favorite Hazbin character since 2019. The moment I laid my eyes on him I couldn’t resist but love that fellow! I hope you enjoyed the little headcanons. Have a great day/Night!

- Your Ghost ༼ つ ╹ ╹ ༽つ

[itsclydebitches]

Alastor Headcanons Based on IRL Deer

fic research is wild, y'all

He has a tail. Duh.

It is deliberately hidden under his coat because while he can keep his ears neutral with conscious effort (and most people assume they're his hair at first glance) there's no way he's going to broadcast when he's relaxed with that gentle swishing.

After taking on this form Alastor biologically became an herbivore. He thinks it's a part of his punishment: to now exist in a body where eating meat, while possible, is a lot harder and is likely to make him ill if he has too much. He obviously does it anyway and now takes a sick kind of pride in his cannibalistic acts.

He sheds his antlers each year and goes to great lengths not to be seen during this process. It's faster than what a real deer deals with, but Alastor is still perpetually pissed that he can't just instantly grow new ones the way he otherwise controls his form.

(Hiding this is a whole lot harder while staying at a hotel where people need your help with things/demand your participation in ridiculous bonding exercises 24/7. The new year arrives and Alastor starts s w e a t i n g.)

His antlers also have velvet which, like a real deer's, is filled with nerves. AKA his antlers are very sensitive. Touch them at risk of life, limb, and soul.

In the days approaching a shedding Alastor's appetite increases like whoa. He can be found having tea (and "finger" food) with Rosie, or cooking up a storm in the kitchen. The residents don't know why they're suddenly inundated with jambalaya and gumbo, but they're not complaining.

(Husk, by virtue of Alastor owning his soul, knows what's what. He leaves a bottle of whiskey outside his door the night Alastor mysteriously says he has "business" to attend to for the next few days. Yeah, he obviously hates the guy but also that's a shit thing to deal with sober. He should know. Being a cat is fucking weird.)

When his old antlers have fallen off Alastor immediately destroys them. He doesn't know what someone might be able to do with a piece of his body, but he's not going to find out.

(However, it is tempting to whack the short king with one, proclaiming that he should mount it on his wall because he'll never get one off his head.)

He's got GREAT night vision and his eyes will glow red as his radio characteristics overlap with the deer biology. Alastor's hearing is also top notch and he can move his ears independently to better catch a sound. However, he tends to tilt his head instead—ensuring his neck cracks—because he knows it freaks people out.

Also smell! That's great for cooking. Not so great when Alastor hasn't found the time or inclination to bathe in days.

Alastor has made more friends (though he'd never call them that) in Hell than he ever did while living. Is it because he's now surrounded by other sinners who have no need to hide their true selves, or is it because he's now doubly a social animal? He doesn't know, doesn't care, and will eviscerate anyone who theorizes.

Despite growing up in New Orleans, Alastor never learned how to swim. Imagine his shock when an... unfortunate encounter with a rival Overlord resulted in him getting thrown into one of Hell's many rivers and he discovered that now, suddenly, he's an excellent swimmer. It was a weird day.

He's colorblind now. Rosie once asked him about his living fashion habits and was surprised that he tended towards muted browns, blacks, and grays. Sure, they all spread their wings upon entering Hell, but switching to a bright red suit is quite the choice! Everyone in the Emporium had to wait for their ears to heal after the screech of radio static Alastor let loose. He hadn't realized precisely what he was wearing (and who the hell else would tell him?). Rosie talked him down, saying the style suited him and really, it's too late to back down now. Whatever would the papers say?

[tkthrilla-writes]

OOK OK OK SO I know I have been away for a VERY LONG TIME.

Basically i had to move apartments... TWICE

Started my thesis

And struggled a bit with my work

BUT

I am on a trip and Lord knows I got some ideas while on it!!!!!!!

Imagine being on a work trip and taking an 8 hour long car drive and not being able to do anything but listen to other people fighting over directions and listening to bad modern music. You would just be sitting in the backseat all nice and calm, meanwhile Alastor would be absolutely infuriated with the lack of coordination some people had and the disgusting and obscenely sexual songs. This man is being driven up the walls!!!!!

Cue this man messing with the radio to piss people off more. Making it glitch, randomly turning it off - but since people depended on it for the damned gps he left that part alone since he didn't want to endanger his host and himself to some moron on the wheel driving into a tree or something.

Then came the Spotify queueing playlist rounds. Whenever it was your turn to pick what songs that should be playing you tried to play something that Alastor would enjoy because you could feel his presence becoming more irritated by the second and mixing in more of your songs so that people don't stay skipping your songs.

Most of your selected Alastor specific songs did satisfy him.... But let's just say a few of your songs hit a little WAAAAAAY TOO close to home for him and his current predicament with his host.

Now you finally arrived at your destination, people settle in. and of course you end up getting a room that you have to share with two other people and of course you get the top bunk bed that is absolutely hard to get on because the ladder is right under squished attic ceiling that makes you have to crawl and gymnastics your way up to even sleep.

Alastor was definitely not happy in the few moments that he took over and had to do that. He ended up making you both look like a spider monkey with broken legs failing at crawling.... Which did make a couple people laugh at you ..... He refused to come out and try to enjoy the trip after that.

But then came the day time when you would all go out to do activities. Which mostly consisted of hiking and exploring museums so he was very happy to know you would be keeping up your physical activities despite being away from home while still broadening your horizons and educating yourself on history and art.

Then came that ecursed night half way into the trip. You decided to try going out to a bar/night club. And of course you dress the most decently out of everyone else. And of course you attracted the most attention while out on the dance floor. And of course this nearly mad Alastor reach a breaking point, barely holding it back long enough for you to reject other people's advances. And of course it was about to break for a split second when one of the people you are on a trip with decided to start flirting with you and try to drunkenly seduce you.

Timeskip to the next day and everybody is tense..... Only thing that was audible during breakfast aside from people eating was the very obvious feedback coming out of the stereo coupled with the music. Once breakfast was done people silently shuffled and started to clean up, slowly slowly starting chatter on what was going to be done throughout the day.

Some people wanted to stay in and nurse their hangover from the night before, some wanted to go out to another hike. You feeling sore from all the walking AAANDD trying to get some peace and quiet from people, opted to stay in and just have an easy day - besides there were 3 days left on this trip you can afford a day if resting. Plus you had a feeling that Alastor just wanted to be around less people despite you having a good time so far.

So here you are just in the bathroom, having your own privacy. You put on a playlist that obviously focused mostly on your songs.

The shower was heavenly after a night out at a sticky and sweat bar with Constant Craving in the background. A nice hair scrub to Soulmate Died. A great rinse to Older. And one must not forget the Jam session to the epic Every Breath You Take. Lastly there was that nice face cleaning to Let the World Burn.

And that was when the Radio Demon snapped

A chain around your neck appeared, and with a forceful tug, your nose was up touching the mirror, with your breath fogging it up. Heart rate spiking from the shock. Senses becoming heightened at the figure in the mirror.

All you could see was a shadow.... Alastor's shadow.... With his face directly Infront of yours. Eyes both holding radio dials, smile becoming tight and stretched with stitches on the corners of his mouth as if to try to hold back his face from splitting apart, sharp yellow teeth becoming heightened from the harsh green glow of the chain that seemed to look like it was going right into the mirror. As if holding up a failed attempt to hold himself back, his teeth started to chatter from whatever he was trying not to do.

"You really do not understand what you are doing?" he said, grinding his teeth as his mouth stretched quite literally ear to ear, showing off his teeth.

"I don't know what you are talking about," you said calmly despite your heart beating a million miles in a minute, making the blood rush in your ears nearly the only thing you can hear.

"I could kill you right here, right where you stand."

"And I would still be happy."

"I could snuff out that pretty little life of yours."

"And then I will breath again in my next one."

"I can drag you down to the deepest depths of hell."

"But I will be able in heaven when I'm with you."

A beat if silence

"You really know how to make a man struggle with his inner mist desires Mon Ange....." his smiled started to thin, reaching a small point where blood started to drip out of his mouth, following his jaw line, to drip down. Somehow landing on the sink tap below the mirror.

"Now thats not on me," you say with a slight chuckle, "sounds like a you kind of problem." You taunted, using the sink to lift you up further to place and rest your forehead right where his would be on the mirror. The mirror fogging up with your breath and staining coming in contact with your bare skin.

"You should know by now," he started, you could feel him reciprocating your actions through the mirror, his face coming closer to yours, "that my problem," he lifts his hand up to rest on the mirror, "is your problem too," he ends with you raising your hand to match where his is on the mirror. It was almost like you were holding his hand, the closest form of contact you probably ever come into with eachother.

Till obviously someone outside the bathroom has to ruin the mood with a loud bang on the door "ARE YOU DONE FUCKING YOURSELF IN THERE!!! I REALLY NEED A SHOWER!"

And in an instant "Please let me kill them."

"No Ali." You said calmly used to his shenanigans, leaving the mirror in favour of getting dressed, the chain disappearing the moment you pull away.

Finally came the day to leave, much to your sadness because you were enjoying yourself and really needed the break, and much to Alastor's pleasure because he really despised the company at present.

As a form of self entertainment, when it was your turn to drive in the ungodly hours of the morning and everyone was asleep in the car, he would take over your body so you could sleep and rest as well. A faint semi tight smile present on his face as he finally was able to put on music that he actually truly enjoyed. And when it was someone else's turn - particularly the other person in the car who had the audacity to get drunk and flirt with you - he made sure to scramble a few traffic cameras to view the car as a speeding vehicle so that person may or may not have a surprise ticket or two when they get home.

AND THATS IT EVERYBODY - NOW ALL OF YOU GO TO HORNY JAIL!

[snowyh2o]

Hazbin Hotel Episode 5 Spoilers!

Just jotting some thoughts down on Alastor’s behavior.

Absolute pettiness aside, and the fact that Lucifer was also beefing with Alastor like, 5 seconds into meeting him, Alastor was freaking beefing with Luci before he even showed up LOL.

Everyone in the hotel witnessed Charlie’s somewhat tense phone call with her dad, except for Alastor who was probably eating breakfast at the time. So everyone except Alastor is getting ready for Lucifer to show up when he finally comes down. He seems curious about what all the fuss is about, but the moment he sees the banner welcoming Charlie’s dad, his expression sours and he becomes visibly annoyed.

Alastor is also aware that Charlie has “Daddy Issues” since he says as much in his advertisement, and it seemed like most of the others hadn’t known until Charlie’s phone call. And then Lucifer walks in the door, hugs Charlie, and we get a pan up shot of Alastor with the subtlest eye twitch EVER. Five seconds into Lucifer showing up and he’s already as pissed as he was when dealing with the Egg Bois.

Which then leads into the actual meeting between the two. Here Alastor is very clearly mocking Lucifer, very similarly to how he mocked Vaggie in the pilot, but still keeps things relatively cordial. (The absolute disrespect of shaking someone’s cane and then STILL wiping their hand afterwards). He actually greets Lucifer the same way he did with Charlie in the pilot, but is uh, significantly less genuine about it lol. And Lucifer, sensing the hostility, starts mocking Alastor as well. This all culminates with Hell’s Greatest Dad and Alastor openly mocking and calling out Lucifer’s absence from Charlie’s life as a father (and that she has someone better now LOL).

Won’t speak too much more about the song except for the absolute shit eating grin Alastor has on when he’s singing “Daaaaad!”, and how Lucifer freaking cooks and then decapitates Alastor, TWICE, in his opening song sequence.

Anyways, a lot of the stuff in episode 5 has been said already, but like, the thing my brain’s been getting caught on is Alastor, Husk, and asking Mimzy to leave. Because like. When Mimzy shows up you can see how much more relaxed and happy Alastor is around her. He openly welcomes her into the hotel, tells her to get settled in, even though he probably knows that she’s likely here because of ulterior motives. This is probably one of the few times in seven years since he’s seen and been able to chat with one of his old friends (he sees Rosie during the overlord meeting, but they don’t get the chance to talk on screen). He’s genuinely happy to see her (they hug!!!) and wants her to hang around.

A little while later though, Husk approaches Alastor and says that Mimzy’s up to something, that she’s gonna bring trouble to the hotel. That she has a history of running to Alastor for protection once she gets in over her head with something. And Alastor obviously knows this. This is probably a conversation they’ve had a lot over the years. Alastor’s confident that he’d be able to handle anything she brought their way, it’s not like any old sinner’s gonna be able to beat him, and who exactly would wanna mess with the Radio Demon? And it’s not like the confidence is unfounded. Regardless of his reputation Alastor is STILL considered an overlord, and no sinner would wanna mess with that.

He says as much to Husk, and tells him not to worry about it. Husk then points out that Alastor has been gone for a while, that nobody knows why, and implying that Alastor’s absence means his reputation’s taken a hit. That people would try messing with him now. Alastor gets a little, jumpy? Startled? Angry? At the reminder of the seven years, and then covers it up by mocking Husk and treating him like a pet, tries to get get Husk to drop the topic. And then Husk bites back, reminding Alastor of his own leash. This sets Alastor off like nothing else, and he’s immediately exercising his control over Husk’s soul, going full demon form for a moment, before looming over Husk and directly threatening him with a painful death. He forces Husk to agree to never speak of it again, before jauntily putting his “I am completely unbothered” facade (the music!) back on and leaving to catch up to the tour.

He never makes it to the tour, because the Hotel is attacked by the loan sharks Mimzy was trying to avoid pretty soon after. By this point, Alastor has just spent the morning having a pissing contest with Luficer (that ended with no winners), been told one of his (likely) few friends was gonna bring trouble to everyone else, had his own situation thrown back into his face unexpectedly, and just lost control of his temper even more so than when he was going at it with Lucifer.

He’s fucking stressed, probably has been for a while, and takes the golden opportunity the loan sharks present to vent it all out on them. It’s absolute overkill and a completely over the top beat down, turning into a fucking giant and shouting how he’s gonna “devour each and every one of you!” And just plain old rampaging. By the end he seems considerably less stressed, and he mentions how it’s been a while since he’s done something like that.

Mimzy comes over, and thanks him for the help. She also somewhat insincerely apologizes for the mess, to which Alastor says that she should go. Mimzy very rightfully thinks he’s joking, and then becomes upset once Alastor says he’s serious. For her, it’s the same as it’s always been, Alastor has never minded cleaning up her messes before, why should that change now? He LIKES helping her and taking care of her. And she’s right, Alastor does like taking care of her. He gets to be relied on and show off his ability, and the company’s not bad either.

But now he’s in a situation where he can’t be so careless anymore. It’s not just himself or Mimzy he’s responsible for. He’s now responsible for the hotel and it’s inhabitants too. He’d just been told that Mimzy would bring trouble, and he’d laughed it off because he could handle “trouble”, but it just got thrown in his face that just because he can handle it, doesn’t mean everything will be perfectly fine.

Alastor arrived late, and the hotel was wrecked. What if something worse happens next time? So he tells her to leave, because there’s more at stake now than before. She’s still welcome to stay if she really tries at redemption, but they both know that’s not her style. So Mimzy leaves, pissed, and Alastor watches her go in silence. Husk watches this happen with a smug expression and a bucket of popcorn.

Anyways, all of this to say is that I don’t think Alastor decided to deal with the problem just because he wanted to get some stress relief. I think he also volunteered because those loan sharks being there is inadvertently his fault. They’re only there because Mimzy was there, and Mimzy was only at the hotel because she was seeking Alastor’s protection. And also because Alastor was the one who welcomed her into the hotel, and didn’t ask her to leave despite the danger her presence posed and the warning he got from Husk. He got overconfident, arrogant, believed that his old reputation would be a good enough shield against attacks, and the hotel payed the price.

So him stepping up was in part stress relief, in part taking responsibility for the mess he’d inadvertently caused, and him showing the world once again that he (and the people/place associated with him) are not to be messed with.

Also, his little almost content smile while watching Charlie and Lucifer duet and reconnect and Lucifer finally choosing to support Charlie despite his fears and like, not actually interrupting the moment despite how petty he was being earlier in the day— I wanna see what’s going on in his little head and shake the answer out. Do you care? For Charlie? Did you not want to ruin this for her?? Were you happy because Charlie was able to find support in a family member? Or happy because Lucifer put aside his own issues to help Charlie because he truly dearly loves her? Or were you happy because you just had a light snack and engaged in some much needed stress relief and didn’t want to ruin the after party show? Who knows?!

[the-radio-demon-blog]

Hmm. I'm glad my Krampus experience was better than yours then then.

Oh yes, I'm sure I'd get along well with Husk and Angel Dust. I'll have to share photos of my little Christmas village during the holidays. Hah...I remember I had a dream once that Angel and I were just watching dumb tik toks and giggling like mad...and he kept calling me Shortcake. Now I want someone to call me that irl. 😅

I'm not typically one for parties. I either stick like glue to one or two people I know...or if there's any kind of pet, I will disappear to hang out with it. I found goats and chickens at a cousin's outdoor wedding once. After dinner, no one saw me again. 😂 That being said, Charlie's costume party actually sounds fun! Maybe I could crash it for a bit this year. Idk if you're aware, but Florida absolutely contains portals to hell, which is why I'm able to pop in from time to time. I suppose because I'm super *not* dead, I just sort of get...popped back home after a bit. Lol. I love dressing up. My last Halloween costume, I was Beetlejuice. Wore a black and white striped dress, my friend did my makeup and we spray painted my hair green. 😁

A lottery! Intriguing. Maybe a bit alarming for us over worlders. Hah. Though, things are pretty bad up here. We'd probably barely notice any chaos a demon visitor would cause! Hah!

I'm very curious, what do you think you would do up here if you won this lottery? 🤔

Oh bad Stanley! We need to have a chat. No eating pets. I support Angel Dust's chasing him off with a bat if he tries to eat Fat Nuggets again. Are you not feeding him enough pedophiles, Alastor??

We're opposite ends on The Shining. I've only watched the movie and not read the book. I know King is brilliant, but I think I got halfway through one his books once. Surprisingly not a huge fan of most horror. But it's only bc...none of it scares me, so I usually feel kind of disappointed? I'll like those kinds of movies if they're well written/have some humor/have a good aesthetic. The art school bitch in me is sated by beautiful camera work and colors. Haha. Oh, recommendation, watch Crimson Peak.

Hahah. Don't worry. I won't be calling you Big Al. Was only teasing. I don't like it either. Hah.

No offense taken at the drunk comments. I suppose it hasn't been a bad experience for me since I've never been so drunk I wasn't unaware of what I was doing. I used to go to bars a lot (had a lot of musician friends then...I've been to a frankly obscene number of open mics) so I feel you on being subjected to obnoxious inebriated people. I generally drank a coke...or if I was feeling particularly feisty...a Shirley Temple. 🤣 You'd be amazed the side eye and teasing I'd get for that order. Never cared, those things are tasty!

I promise to not call you the c word again. Though, if you piss me off, I will definitely call you the *other* c-word. Heh. Will just settle on calling you dapper, eh? It's an excellent and underused word in modern times.

Appreciate your discretion and care in the imaginary unwanted drunk cuddle scenario. Lol. That is, dare I say it, rather sweet. You are surprising!

I also quite enjoy our conversations, so thank you! 😊

Work was alright on Friday (I left early for another baseball game so that helped, lol). I was training a new hire all day. He's great; laughs at my jokes (v important), is COMPETENT. He gave me candy! PLEASE DON'T QUIT I scream internally.

Let's see...I have a sort of a joke for you. Hopefully you appreciate a nerdy joke like I do.

oh shit - i was time travelling and accidentally killed an ancient italian. doesn’t matter tho everyone was killing each other, when in Reme do as the Remans

And for today's photo I present this chaos table covered in several dozen Halloween decorations. They're here until I get them all set up nicely, hopefully this weekend.

https://imgur.com/a/GEn1kDX

I really need to think of a song rec again. I haven't seen any on your tumblr for a while...*sad face*

I'm off to pick up a werewolf! I will not be elaborating.

After while, crocodile 🐊

I can imagine Angel Dust doing something of the like. At least he gave you a somehow respectful nickname: Shortcakes. Compared to Smiles.

Hah, well you and I are very different. I would rather spend time with people than pets. However I suppose to each their own. People entertain me far more, pets are simply loving. Oh well, I hope your cousin's did leave some tempting animals to play with. It was on them that you didn't return to dinner. Hah!

Yes, Charlie's costume parties are always fun. Oh well, I would love if you could pay the hotel a visit! Charlie would absolutely not mind if you showed up for a Halloween party! We've had an unfortunate amount of Floridians accidently end up in Hell and it usually ends badly for them. Hah, well, thank goodness you haven't run into our rather lively denizens! Beetlejuice? My, that's a rather fun outfit!

If I won the lottery? I'm sure I would wreck some havoc on New Orleans for the sake of it and take a canoe out on the Bayou. Terrify a few loitering teenagers. I'm not quite sure if I am being honest what I would do.

I am feeding Stanley plenty of pedophiles! It seems he has an insatiable appetite and he seems to crave beloved pets. KeeKee is far smarter than the pig to stay out of Stanley's way. I can arrange a chat between you and him if you so desire.

I am not a big fan of movies but sure, I'll give it a shot when I happen upon a chance. Hmm...none of it scares you? Interesting. I am personally not one to be scared of silly movies or books however I did find myself deeply invested in the fate of the characters. In the Shining book if I recall correctly, the father cared far more about his family in the book than in the movie where he was a raging horrible maniac. I could go on about it but I shall end it here.

Hmm...it wasn't a bad experience to be out of control of your own body? That is personally not something I would enjoy but to each their own, dear. I'm not one for Shirley Temples but I'm sure its tasty for you!

Yes, I would prefer to be called dapper. I've never been one to love cuss words but they surely have their place and time.

Why is it surprising? It's the only rightful thing to do. I know quite a quite a few people that would disgustingly take advantage of a situation like that, unfortunately. Common human decency is truly dead.

Yes, its always important to have a competent coworker. There's a surprising lack of that in the working world. He gave you candy? My, my. Yes, I do hope he doesn't quit either.

Hah! That's an absolutely delightful joke, dear!

Oh my, that is quite a lot of Halloween decorations! My mother would have a stroke if you saw it. Charlie I'm sure would be absolutely ecstatic! I wish you luck.

See you later, my dear, alligator!

PS: As much as I do enjoy our conversations, could you perhaps make your letters a bit shorter?

[truearchangel]

🕯

@diistortion HOTEL RESIDENT OBSERVATIONS.

   THERE’S A CLIPBOARD in his hand, several papers attached to it, and Michael tries to make himself as small as possible when just observing a standard day in the Hazbin Hotel. He tries his best to not allow any previous interactions with any of them to affect his study, and today’s character of choice was the Radio Demon. He’d already asked around a few people about him, and notes on their particular thoughts or comments on his routine were noted on the paper to the side. He does not allow them to influence him either. 

   Alastor is a curious person. 

   His power is–different to put it kindly. The magic itself is green in color, which isn’t entirely strange but he had thought it would be red? With how much of it the demon wears, anyway. Green fit him too, it wasn’t an entirely terrible choice to go with him. This mark was small, a question mark surrounding it as he tried to decide just what Alastor’s power was. Eldritch clearly, but that was more a category in Heaven rather than a straight definition of a power. There are different kinds of Eldritch demons.

   Next, he notes, Alastor doesn’t eat breakfast with the rest of them. At first he was confused, and then he simply nodded and made a mark. Cannibal. Maybe sometimes he degrades himself to eating the food that’s prepared, which today was pancakes, but if he was going to drag a corpse onto his dining table, gut and eat it? He would do that in the privacy of his own room too. Not that he ever wants to think about gutting and eating a corpse himself ever again. 

   A side note on his own thoughts was added at that now.

   The Radio Demon appears sometime shortly after that, once the kitchen was cleaned and Charlie was bouncing out the door to go do something for the hotel. A comment about passing out gifts to lure people in? He thinks that is a terrible idea, his opinion was not asked. Alastor apparently had an Overlord Meeting today and he made a note to ask next time if he could attend with him. Only out of curiosity, he had no reason to actually be there, it doesn’t benefit his study. He’s without his company for one hour. 

   One. Hour. 

   How did he get into this mess? 

   Really, honestly, he’s only here to observe. But only ten minutes after Alastor had left the hotel, Charlie and her angel girlfriend in town, apparently it became open season on the hotel? There wasn’t even knocking, someone straight up open fired on the building. Whatever remained of his soul had left right there and Michael had a bullet lodged in his shoulder. That, apparently, was all it really took to piss him off. 

   He will give the bartender this (Husk he had marked his name down as), he was a decent fighter. He moved well around Michael, avoiding losing his head to the angelic sword that was swung past him and using those strange cards as his. They had the entire situation cleaned up within half an hour and these types of bullets really don’t affect Michael. He will have to dig it out of his shoulder if he intends on healing. 

   By the time Alastor got back he had found his clipboard amongst the mess, covered in demonic blood and the pages entirely ruined. He made a disappointed face at it and sighed in frustration, lifting his head to the curly haired demon. 

   “One hour. One hour! What are you? Some magical deterrent to criminals? They genuinely fear you, don’t they? How many stalkers do you have that they know the moment you leave the hotel?”

He'll admit it; the Radio Demon is begrudgingly impressive. It takes a lot to form a reputation like that. He's fairly certain Alastor's continued existance here is vital to the survival of the Hazbin Hotel.

[trashcanfanfics]

May I request a Husk before working at hazbin hotel and a (Nonbinary) reader that is a bartender at a club and everytime he comes in to get shitfaced drunk they bring home after their shift and he eventually gets attached?

(Optinonal: some creepy guy hits on reader and how husk reacts when the guy takes it to far?) Have a lovely day/night and stay healthy! 💕

My first request for Husk!! I love that kitty!

You stay healthy and enjoy your day/night!! <3

This is your favorite time of night. When a certain avian cat would come in and drink at the bar where you worked. You had developed a soft spot for the drunkard, talking with him everytime he'd come in. He'd always comment on how this was where the best alcohol was and how no other place was as good. Currently, he was sitting on a stool in front of you, and it looks like you're going to have to take him home again. That's fine, though, you don't mind, in fact you have a spare key to his apartment now because of how often you throw him in the backseat of your car and drag him up the stairs to his apartment.

"And! That bastard just smiles with a shit eating grin, tellin' me that he already did it!" Husk takes a swig of the bottle. "Fuckin' dick." You hummed in response. Truth be told, you had been only half listening to this drunken story slash rant he was slurring out. Something about an Alastor. He usually complains or vents about this guy and you have yet to meet him. Husk said that that's a good thing, though. He continues on this topic, occasionally forgetting where he left off, leaving you to remind him, and him getting fluffed up at the reminder of thie "Alastor".

"If he pisses you off that much, maybe bring him in here and I could give him a piece of my mind." You placed you chin on your hand, leaning slightly over the bar. Husk's angry rambling came to an abrupt stop and he looked at you with total seriousness.

"I would never let him come near you. Never." Those words made your dead heart beat faster. That's another thing about Husk, he'd recently become very protective of you. His excuse was that you were the only good bartender on this side of the Pentagram. You blinked slowly in shock making him look away and take another long gulp of his bottle. Before you could respond, another slightly tipsy demon slid onto the stool next to Husk.

"Hey, pretty thing, when are you off work?" You recoiled away from the disgusting individual. Noticing Husk stiffen and his tail flicking back and forth caused you to also be on alert.

"That's none of your business." Your cold reply made the unnamed man chuckle darkly. It made your skin crawl and fear to pool in your gut. The look this creep was giving you set off alarms in your head. Stay away, they said. Danger.

"I'll just wait outside for you then." That eased your anxiety a bit, you didn't need to leave the bar to get to your apartment above it. Then you looked at the drunk Husk and your blood went cold, remembering that you have to take him home. "And besides, I can continue to talk to you here 'n' now, gorgeous." The wink he sent you was uncoordinated and unsettling. Your mouth twisted into an uncomfortable frown.

"Too bad yer voice is annoying." The creep's and your attention was brought to Husk, who was sipping on his drink, looking a bit more sober than the last time you glanced at him. "Maybe you should get fuckin' lost, bub." The creep didn't like this and snarled at him.

"Maybe you should mind ya fuckin' business, shithead," the creep snarled. You felt your blood boil. People were creeps all the time to you, you could handle it, but something about him talking to Husk that way pissed you off.

"I think you talkin' like that to my significant other is my business." You watched in shock as Husk casually, yet meaningfully, took the last swig of his booze. The creep frowned and then sneered.

"A cat, babe you can do better than that." This guy was just not getting it, was he? Before you could retort with a nasty comment about his appearance, Husk takes the empty bottle and smashes it into the offender's face, knocking him off his stool. No one else even flinched at the scene, going about their conversations. It was Hell, no one gave a shit. The man got up, holding his face.

"I'll just wait outside for both of you, then! I'll bring my crew! You'll be fucked, one of you literally." He sent one last dark smile before leaving the bar. You let out a breath you didn't know you were holding and turned back to Husk.

"Thank you," You said. No other words were needed, though you wanted to say more. To say how you appreciate him being there and standing up for you, protecting you, but you kept quiet. You knew he just did it so you would be able to take him home.

"Don't mention it..." He looked down as you set another beer bottle in front of him. He took it and looked at it for a second before popping the top. "Ya need an escort home tonight?" His question surprised you. You smiled.

"Ha, no, I, uh, live upstairs, actually. But thanks." You pointed up to emphasize your sentence. Husk hummed and gulped down half the bottle. "Got too sobered up for that, huh?" Your attempt at a joke made him chuckle with a half smile.

"Yeah, maybe I shouldn't continue if I gotta walk home, though." He looked away and around the bar. You raised an eyebrow and glanced at his wings. He doesn't fly, he told you that once when you asked. Too much effort, he said.

"What makes you think you're walking home?" You asked, hand on your hip. He looked back at you in suspicious confusion.

"Ya ain't going out there with those assholes waitin' for ya." His voice was stern, like a father almost. You briefly wondered if he had kids before shaking your head.

"Then neither are you, they're waiting for you too, ya know." You crossed your arms. The both of you stared into each other's eyes for a minute before he sighed and took another swig.

"Well, then what am I gonna do? Sleep behind the bar?" The mental image of him sleeping on the floor behind the bar, clutching a bottle of whiskey brought a smile to your face.

"Wouldn't be the first time," he snorted at that, "but I was thinking that you could sleep on my couch." His eyes met yours again.

"What?"

"You heard me." You looked at the clock on the wall by the dart board. "It's closing time anyways." He followed your gaze to the clock and squinted.

"No it ain't. You don't close for another few hours." He looked back to you with an eyebrow raised. You smirked back.

"I'm the owner, I can close anytime I want." You rounded the bar and made your way over to the few occupied tables. "Help me get the drunks outta here and we'll head up." Husk gulped down the rest of the booze and stood up. You turned from him to politely tell the still sober occupants to leave as you were closing early today. They grumbled but complied.

The next table was handled by Husk, as he told the ones splayed out in their chairs that they had to leave. They blew raspberries at him, causing him to growl back. You went over and put your hand on Husk's back, between his wings. His tail started flicking at the tip.

"You heard him, guys, time to go." Your voice made them groan and get up, wobbling and stumbling to the exit. You let out a breath with a smile and shook your head. The rest of the tables seemed to understand thet they had to go too and left, leaving you and Husk alone. You walked over to the doors and locked them before heading to the employee's only door, Husk behind you.

You both walked through the kitchen to another door next to the pantry, leading to a hallway. Passing by the breakroom and bathroom, you pulled out your keys. The stairway at the end of the hall squeaked and complained as you both wallked up to the little landing where your door was. Keys jangled as you unlocked and opened the door.

"Home sweet trashy home." You moved aside to let him in. He looked around as you closed the door and locked it. His ear flicked back at the sound for a moment before turning back forwards.

"'S nicer than my place."

"I know." You smiled and made your way to the kitchen. "You hungry?" He grumbled out a ''I could eat" and plopped down on your couch. You set to work on some mac 'n' cheese.

"Ya know, this couch is pretty comfy," Husk calls from the livingroom. You snort at his attempt at a casual conversation.

"Don't force yerself, there. You know you don't have to talk if you don't want to." You chuckled again. You pulled out the milk and butter, setting them down on the counter. Husk doesn't answer back and you assume he's just taking in his surroundings.

The mac 'n' cheese is finished when you add some bacon bits to it. Smiling at your work, you pulled out two bowls and scooped out servings. The spoons made a clatter as they were placed into the bowls. Stopping by the fridge, you balanced the bowls on one arm before grabbing out a soda for you, and a can of beer for Husk.

In the livingroom, you see Husk hasn't moved from the couch but does look more relaxed and comfortable. You handed him a bowl and his beer. He took them with a mumbled "thanks" before he set the beer on a coaster and dug into the cheap pasta.

"This is really good." The comment made you smile as you dug into your own bowl. You swallowed and looked at him.

"Thanks, it's the bacon bits." You take another bite and swallow. "Makes it taste like you put effort into it." Husk smiled slightly as he continued eating.

This was perfect, you thought, just spending time with Husk, outside the bar. Aside from taking his mumbling, drunk ass home, you hadn't really ever spent time with him casually. You loved Husk, you knew that. Even with how rough his exterior is (figuratively, you had felt how soft that fur is), you couldn't get enough of his company.

"Yer starin', bud." You blinked and quickly looked away, chewing on the bite of food you put in your mouth. He huffed in amusement. swallowing hard, you noticed you didn't have any food left and set the bowl on the coffee table before picking up your drink.

"Well, can you blame me? You over here looking cute and all that." You hide your blush behind the soda can as you take a sip. Husk whipped his head towards you. You decide to roll with this. "What your significant other can't tell you that you look cute?" Your callback to what he had called you earlier made him almost choke on his beer.

"Hh-what?" His response was full of shock and confusion. You shrugged, enjoying this newfound confidence. Maybe you accidentally grabbed yourself some liquid courage.

"I wouldn't mind being your real significant other." You shifted your gaze to look at him from the corner of your eye. His pupils were blown and he looked at you like you had hung the moon. It made your heart thud harshly in your chest.

"I wouldn't mind either..." His response shocked you, you had expected to be rejected and then just blow your statement off as a joke. You blinked slowly at him in shock again. He slowly blinked back. You made a mental side note to look up cat behavior later to see what the fuck that meant but for now, you just leaned over and kissed him. He kissed back, putting down his drink and pulling you closer. A purr rumbled out of his chest as you raked your fingers through his facial fur to the bcak of his head.

This was perfect, you thought.

[a-dauntless-daffodil]

So in love with the "Canival Town Vaggie" AU, but that lead to a thought. In Alastor's first song he puts Vaggie in a certain outfit that people have noticed shows up later. This time, Vaggie would recognize "You dressed me up as Susan!?"

what with Alastor kinda being Vaggie's live-in Susan, she might take it as a compli-

WAIT

WHAT IF SUSAN WAS LIKE VAGGIE'S GRUMPY BITCH CANIBAL GRANDMA?? WHAT IF THE ONLY PERSON SUSAN DIDN'T HECKLE WAS VAGGIE????

like- like vaggie, in the hotel in canon SHE'S the one getting pissed and frustrated and and and the one being realistic (pessimistic???) about stuff, STRICT, judgmental (to anyone not charlie) like imagine her meeting Susan like "Wow. mean granny says it like it is" and Susan latching onto her "I'VE ONLY HAD THIS SNARKY JADED GRANDDAUGHTER FOR /FIVE MINUTES/, AND IF ANYONE LOOKS AT HER WEIRD, IM EATING THEM AND THEN EVRYONE ELSE IN CANNIBAL TOWN"

can you imagine mom/aunt Rosie struggling valiantly to be supportive and have Vaggie's evil granny over for tea steeped in the skull of earl Grey, CAN YOU IMAGINE CHARLIE TRYING SO HARD TO BE NICE TO HER GIRLFRIEND'S GRANGRAN BUT ONLY EARNING SUSAN'S RESPECT WHEN SHE CRACKS AND CALLS HER A BITCH

(and Vaggie grinning and CHEERING HER for it???)AND THEN SUSAN IS GIRNNING TOO, LEANING OVER TO HER GRANDAUGHTER AND GROWLING

"oh i see why you like her now~" - "that's not why, granny chops, but yeah. she's great"

WHILE CHARLIE SITs THERE, TRYING NOT TO REACH OVER AND THROTTLE THIS OLD LADY THAT HER GF CLEARLY LOVES

even in hell no one can figure out how this (healthy?) (happily fucked up??) granddaughter / grandmother relationship works!!!! they just know they'll find Vaggie and Susan standing in a corner of the party, smirking / grinning with too many teeth together as they trade sick burns about everyone else there! (especially Alastor) (and excepting Charlie once Susan decides she might almost be worthy of dating her sad emotionally burnt dropout angel vegetation grandchild)

the non-cannibal vegetation diet thing is ONLY part of Vaggie that Susan ever picks on, and it's only because she's WORRIED Vaggie will fall off the flesh is she doesn't eat human three times daily in the special way Granny kills it~

original au credit to @sunsetcougar

[emo-trash101]

Hello hello my darling!! (/P)

How are you,good? I hope you are!

I was scrolling through for some hazbin-writing blogs and saw that you were,but didn't have any works yet!

"preposterous!" I told myself! "Such a charming blog without any writing? Allow me!"

And here I am! Nina or Weewoo,you may call me!

Now that my big flamboyant intro is done (i do this all the time for my fun,don't mind it-),May you indulge me in some nice platonic headcanons? (If you do those! If not,a single oneshot would be swell!!)

You see,the self-proclaimed platonic asker is thirsty for some platonic!

Anyways,you're probably getting bored,so allow me!

May I please have a platonic! Vox/Husk/Alastor/Lucifer/ anyone you wish to write for (I honestly don't mind anyone,just pick peoplef from Hazbin you feel you want to write for! You can put as many as you want!) with a gn!child!reader (my favorite/p) that's really sweet (even a bit of a pushover) but has a really bad argument with their parent (the characters) for x reason (maybe because the child is too kind?) and runs away for some air,but later,as the characters were looking for them because they're worried or we're forced to (ahem,Vox and Alastor,AHEM) the character finds them all injured and crying somewhere because it's hell and there are bad people there? How would the characters react? Would they do something?

I think that's all for me!

I hope you enjoy writing this dearie! Don't forget to drink,eat and have rest!

Stay proud darling!

-Nina <33

Omg, I really hope you end up enjoying this! I actually really like this idea, and I live for platonic relationships. Also! Feel free to request whenever, I really need something to do with my life 😭

Vox, Husk, Alastor and Lucifer x Child! Reader

THIS IS STRICTLY PLATONIC AND SHOULD ONLY BE TAKEN AS SUCH

Pronouns: Second person, gender neutral

Tw: Arguing, Vox and Alastor (Yes they are warnings), general Hazbin Hotel-ness

Vox -

- In all honesty, I'm so sorry you ended up with this man 😭

- But (as many of us know) he is not a nice person, if anything he's more so the opposite. He would probably take away your toys just to see you cry.

- However, he is very good at faking it, which makes him a very confusing person to be around.

- The argument most likely starts because you end up being too sweet and it ends up pissing him off. He'd probably try to be passive aggressive or ignore it until it makes him so mad he just yells.

- He seems like the kind of guy to be like "Well thats how I was raised." And just see nothing wrong with it. But after seeing you be so upset after the argument, a small part of his almost nonexistent humanity feels bad.

- Considering how busy he is, he probably wouldn't notice you were missing for a good while. Even after he does, he doesn't go after you himself, he sends one of his workers to get you.

- Once he does find you injured, he's undoubtedly mad. Not exactly because he cares too much for your wellbeing, but because he considers you a pet of some sort, and people should know better than to hurt his pet.

- Doesn't really learn much from the experience, however does avoid bringing up the topic of you being too kind simply because another argument like that could provide similar outcomes

- In all, probably the worst of them all generally. (Can you tell who my least favorite is?)

Husk -

- Honestly, he's not that bad of a caretaker, and it's primarily because he has strong morals and tries to teach you that as well.

- However, because of that, he views your kindness as a kind of weakness that needs to be fixed. Which is almost exactly what he tries to do.

- He attempts several times to make you "stronger" and less kind to protect you. He obviously has good intentions but goes the wrong way about it.

- This obviously results in an argument where he refuses to admit that he was incorrect which leads you to try and chill yourself out by going on a walk. He would probably be too heated to even really care about you walking out. That is until later.

- After you eventually don't come back for awhile he does become anxious, but he knows that he taught you to take care of yourself and that you'll be fine.

- Once you do come back he feels hella guilty, nit only for letting you walk away, but arguing with you in general. He resorts to trying to help clean your wounds and provide you with the best comfort he can (which honestly is not a lot but it's the thought that counts)

- He does let up on you having to be less nice, it does get brought up ever so often, but after a few minutes he just lets it go.

Alastor -

- This man is a little special brained, as in he is extremely apathetic to the point where he doesn't comprehend you being kind aside from it being for ulterior motives.

- Which honestly makes sense if you think about how he acts, so it's not like it's a baseless accusation. But after he's taken you under his wing and is trying to teach you he feels almost undermined by you constantly being kind.

- This obviously turns into an argument (more like you being defensive and him just accusing), and you eventually give up and go on a walk.

- He considers this an admission of guilt and doesn't go after you or anything and just lets you do your own thing until you apologize to him.

- When you do eventually show back up to the hotel, he does tend to your wounds, but he approaches you with condescension until you eventually apologize purely out of exhaustion.

- He doesn't really feel any guilt towards it, and will definitely ice you out until you stop being so "manipulative".

Lucifer -

- Now Lucifer himself is at least a people pleaser, so he understands the feeling and actions that you do take.

- However, having seen his daughter take similar strides that he had in the sense of caring for others, he ends up worrying about you being used for others benefit, especially in a place like hell.

- This kinda causes him to try and course correct aggressively, deciding that if he were to act more cold it would rub off on you and work (surprise surprise, it didn't).

- It just turns into you getting upset and while trying to have a serious conversation about the issues (or as serious a discussion that a child can have), he tries to keep up the cold facade.

- This just upsets you more and you end up going on a walk to clear your mind, and that makes him feel terrible.

- He contemplates running after you but decides that it's for the best, it could even help you with being so kind.

- Well that whole thought process changes once you don't come back for too long. He almost turns the entirety of hell upside down just to find you.

- He finds you just as your assaulters are leaving, and let's just say they don't leave in one singular piece.

- After that the guilt almost eats him alive. He feels terrible for not only letting this happen to you, but that he also caused this whole mess. He takes you back to your home and helps clean your wounds (He 100% uses hello kitty bandages).

- He tries reaching out to other people to try and find better ways to teach you more about boundaries and everything just to keep you safe, and takes almost all the advice to heart.

This took less time than I anticipated, but I feel like it turned out good nonetheless. I hope you enjoyed it and have an astounding day!

[robodaydreamer]

RadioHusk Week - #1. Falling in Love

I have a weakness for heart-eyed, lovestruck expressions!

Here’s a little fic for this awful comic. Hope you enjoy!

This counter never seemed to be clean enough… though he didn’t really give too much of a shit about cleanliness either way. All he had to do was make it look like he gave a damn about it and his peppy princess hotel manager of this shitshow would leave him alone.

That and Niffty wouldn’t feel as compelled to hop, skip, or literally jump over their residents to get to him in her haste to clean it. The last time he let the bar get the slightest bit dirty… okay it was fucking disgusting… but the last time that happened he’d been tackled rather viciously to the floor.

He was used to laying unceremoniously in a heap on the ground, but that had just been ridiculous. Not to mention the headache he had to deal with after the back of his head had bounced off of the floor was something he really could have done without.

He’d pick a hangover over a concussion any day of the week. Although, it had gotten him out of work for the rest of the day. Maybe he’d get her to do it voluntarily once in a while.

With a snort and a shake of his head, Husk wrung out the small towel clenched between his claws and slapped it against the counter, pushing it back and forth along the hard surface for what felt like the hundredth time that morning.

...

He needed a drink.

Muttering a few choice swears, he scrubbed at a particularly sticky spot on the wooden counter, his mouth twitching into an irritated scowl.

Before he could throw the soaked rag away carelessly and most likely at some poor random passerby, a loud bout of laughter caught his attention.

Charlie came into the lobby, mouth seemingly moving a mile a minute as she spoke with their notorious radio demon.

Alastor was nodding his head appropriately, responding just as fast if not faster as he waved his arms around in the air as melodramatically as he possibly could.

He fucking would…

As the two came to a stop, Husk watched as Alastor brought out his microphone staff, a jazzy upbeat tune filling the lobby with a wave of his hand.

As much as Husk hated to admit it, and he really really hated admitting these kinds of things, the bastard could sing.

He could sing, he could dance, and he could eat a demon whole. Gross… and yet the crazy sonofabitch was charming as all hell.

His ears perked up as Charlie kicked off their tune, her voice causing the few residents hanging around in the lobby to stop and watch their performance.

He heard a thump and glanced behind him at his tail, giving the offending appendage a glare. For its sake, it better not wag again. He wasn’t a damned dog!

Turning back toward the two, he watched as Alastor spun a random demon who looked just as confused as the rest of them. Heh, the poor shmuck.

Leaning onto the counter, he let his paws rest against the countertop and didn’t notice his tail give another thump behind him. The rag was left forgotten beside him as his claws tapped idly against the wood to the beat of the song.

As Charlie finished what he assumed was her verse, Alastor’s smiling mouth opened to join her in their song, his voice echoing throughout the room.

He felt his fur stand on end as the sound of Alastor’s voice took ahold of him, the tone alone making his heart race in his chest.

Husk would never admit it out loud, but this cannibalistic lunatic had a power over him that was more than just the ability to force him into whatever miscellaneous adventures he could get his entertainment obsessed hands on. 

If only that were the case.

But no, his heart had to go and screw up the whole, “I lost the ability to love years ago” thing he’s had going for himself for decades.

He was royally fucked the moment Alastor wrapped his arm around him after they’d met.

No good clingy overlord. 

Smug bastard is what he was… 

Husk’s eyes roamed over the two, twirling and dancing their way around the lobby. His eyes were focused on the red overlord as he tapped his feet, grin sharpening as his shadow self came out to join in on the fun.

Oh, he was looking for trouble. 

If Vaggie were here, she’d be throwing a fit… heh. He hoped she heard about this. The yelling would be equal parts annoying and hilarious. Annoying because his ears were fucking sensitive as shit, but hilarious and abso-fuckin-lutely worth it because he wasn’t the one who was going to be scolded.

Husk stiffened as he felt the other’s shadow pass behind him, a ghost of a touch akin to caressing traveled along the outer feathers of his wings. 

He turned just in time to watch the creepy entity throw a wink his way before slithering out of his bar area and behind another demon, making said demon jump and cry out in fear.

What was that about?

Glancing back over to Alastor, he wondered if he’d noticed what his shadow had done.

Nope… he was still singing his number.

Honestly, he probably wouldn’t care, seeing as to how touchy Alastor was on his own already. His shadow probably got it from him. 

The guy really liked to piss him off. He always liked to make people squirm…

With a shiver, he allowed himself to relax and watch the rest of the trainwreck in front of him.

Charlie and Alastor looked like they were in their element. The demons surrounding them looked uncomfortable and ready to cry. 

This was the best kind of a trainwreck.

Slumping forward, Husk sighed. How did he do it? How did this nutjob trap his heart in his red clawed grasp? Was it the voodoo magic he always conjured up? Or the looming threat of his everpresent power? Or maybe it was his ability to manipulate even the most cautious of demons?

Did he real him in with his gentlemanly manner, his charming personality, his fearless pride, his brilliant wit…?

Was it his hypnotizing voice or his mesmerizing eyes?

Maybe it was that handsome face… his controlling behavior… or his uncanny skill of convincing just about anyone to dance with him?

As Husk lost himself in his thoughts, he was too distracted to fight off the lovestruck expression that made its way onto his face.

Alastor grabbed Charlie for the final verse of their song to spin and dip her, his grin sharp and utterly satisfied.

Husk couldn’t help imagining himself in her position, held up only by the arms that would be firmly wrapped around him... their faces close… breaths intermingling-

Shit… he was so fucked.

[dontasktheradiodemon]

Scheming (with Sandwiches) (5/3/2021)

Alastor talks to Valera @autokrates about her visit from Ruler Of Hell King Alastor @akillingspreeinwhite—and more importantly, what to do about him if he decides he wants to start conquering other Hells.

Alastor's plan: an alliance between as many potentially threatened dimensions as possible.

Alastor

Lunch time! Hello Valera guess who it is, it's Alastor. "I hope you don't mind, I thought it might be nice to have lunch together today! Sandwich?" The sandwich is an innocent gift of friendship with no ulterior motives! And also it's a bribe.

Valera

Lunch time! A great time, usually. A chance to gossip with coworkers AND eat. And look who's here, it's Alastor, with a very innocent sandwich! "Mind? Not at all, by all means my dear, it's a pleasure."

She does TRY to take a bite from the sandwich, but before she can even sink her teeth into it her whole face twists and she has to put it aside to flop her head down and groan. Don't mind her clutching her stomach, this is normal. "Eelizzy is *rioting* back home, oh my *gods*. Feels like I swallowed a radio full of hornets."

Alastor

"Oh, don't you hate that? When you're trying to pick up a station on the radio and there's so much interference all you hear is *buzzing*?" He's proud of himself for that joke. He shouldn't be. "Try this, see if it calms her down any." He sends over a song. <https://youtu.be/2t4iBbfwBLw>

Valera

She'd glare at him for that joke, but she's too busy making her poor floppy at-home body cooperate long enough to open a link. "Louisiana Lullaby? Well by name alone it promises results. She loved New Orleans."

A minute passes, and she slowly sits upright. The sandwich is cautiously picked up, and she nibbles at the crust as she raises both eyebrows at Alastor. She can guess what he really wants to know. "Incredible, even from a distance you're better at wrangling a kid than your more... *royal* alternate." That's an opening if she's ever given one, here you go Alastor.

Alastor

His smile widens. The exact topic he wanted to talk about! "I take it his visit was rather... stomach-turning?"

Valera

She glances around, making sure they're far enough away from any coworkers, then leans in with gossiping intent. "Putting it *mildly*. He's very tall, he's very self assured, and he's got the worst vibes I've ever felt roll off of a man. Like dunking my face in used cooking oil. And get this. The second he stepped into my house, Eelizzy started thrashing like a harpooned whale. She's never reacted so violently to *anything*."

Alastor

A slow nod. "That's never a good sign. I trust the judgment of the as yet unborn, they tend to be less prejudiced. And I take it you don't think it was a mere reaction to his power level?"

Valera

Her head cocks to the right, nose scrunching in thought. "He gave me one of Lucifer's flight feathers, so I assume she felt some of that power too. But I put the thing away and she still spent the entire visit either flailing or spitting static at him every time he got too close."

The hand not holding the sandwich brushes her barbels back, rubbing her forehead. "I suppose it's possible that his energy was simply so foreign she reacted strongly, but I live with *Leal*. She's been around for everything from eldritch magic to his full demonic form and barely even stirred. When she met Alexa? Happily buzzing at him barely a minute in. You saw how well she took to you, too. She's met dragons, gods, demons, sinners, and not a single one had her that pissed. Even Seapup was growling at him and Seapup loves *everyone*."

Alastor

"If she doesn't even react to *gods* like that, I'm going to assume it's the quality rather than the quantity." He sighs. "Well, *that's* telling, isn't it! I'm not sure *what* it's telling us yet—but I don't think I'm going to like the answer, do you?"

Valera

She snorts. "No. No I do *not*. He got to my planet unaided, Alastor. Got into my house without me giving any sort of direction. He knew the planet's name before I ever told him. And I want to chalk that up to just him reading my blog, but... I know he's followed me and Leal around without either of us being able to sense him."

Alastor

Alastor nods. "He mentioned that to me too, your 'being followed' adventure. I wouldn't be the least bit surprised if the king's done it more than once. Or, considering how strong he has to be to have seized the throne, he might have additional methods of sussing out information. All of which are probably bad news."

Valera

This poor sandwich is never going to get eaten at this rate, there she goes putting it down again. "No kidding. He's been the pinnacle of manners and social grace for now, but.." A shrug, and she offers Alastor a wan smile. "I don't trust that to last. He's an outlier to the already unpredictable Alastor model."

Alastor

"No, I don't trust it either." His voice lowers—not his usual trick of changing his tone of voice to pretend he's being quieter, but an actual lowering of volume. "Here's the thing. I don't trust a single one of my alternates that's joined in the overlord rat race—much less has made king. A propensity toward boredom like mine should *never* be married to earnest political ambitions. When he gets bored, he's going to do what he's always done: conquer. And if there's no more room for him to move *upward,* he'll start moving *outward.* And wouldn't you know it, he's *just* found the multiverse."

Valera

"Exactly." She exhales almost too forcefully for it to be a sigh, pinching the bridge of her nose. What a headache this was turning out to be. "I *really* don't want to test my mettle against even a normal Alastor alt, the idea of *that* man being able to show up in my house on a whim and start trying to play at the All American Dream of Conquering the Alien Menace is... Not good." An absent minded rubbing of her stomach, self soothing and comforting an egg that was universes away. "I'm not ashamed to admit that I am, on some level, absolutely terrified."

Alastor

"You're not alone," Alastor admits. "Not to downplay your very realistic 'heroic human conquering the savage alien world' fears, but if human history has proven anything, it's that we tend to try conquering our neighbors first and only travel farther after we either succeed or decide it's more trouble than it's worth. And neighbors don't get much closer than a parallel copy of the same place."

Valera

"Oh dear." Grimacing, she lifts a hand like she's about to offer comfort, letting it hover for a moment before slowly putting it back down. No, don't do for the shoulder pat just yet. "I don't like that one bit, Alastor. But for what it's worth, if it came down to it, I'd try to help you."

Alastor

"That is *exactly* what I wanted to discuss." Alastor's eyes glow brighter. "Now, any version of me that's conquered Hell is going to be stronger than any version of me that hasn't, that's practically a given. He could beat any *one* of us hands down. I haven't seen *you* at full power, but frankly that's a boxing match I wouldn't want to bet money on for either side. But—*but*—if enough of us have agreed we'll fight him if he stepped out of line... The more of us agree to fight in defense of each other's dimensions, the better a chance we'll collectively stand. Leclerq and I have already agreed to offer each other mutual support. With three of us, we might have the start of a proper defense."

Valera

She folds her hands, listening as Alastor lays out his plan. Strength in numbers, it was an effective strategy. She could think of a few others who would gladly throw their hats in the ring in the name of keeping the line as well, Alastor or otherwise. "Alright. I'll add myself to that list, and pray we never need it."

Alastor

He laughs wryly. "And I'll be praying for backup in case we *do* need it. Apparently upstairs doesn't care about who's calling the shots in Hell, if they didn't intervene before my alternate could take the crown; but maybe they'll start to care if multiple Hells start uniting in one empire."

Valera

She snorts despite herself, shaking her head. "I hope so! Wouldn't that be something, heaven and hell uniting forces against one common enemy! I just hope we never have to see it."

Alastor

"So do I." He takes a deep breath. "So! Anything else of interest to report from his little visit? You mentioned *you* didn't like his... 'vibes'?"

Valera

"Oh! Yeah. Holy shit." A WELCOME subject change. "He's freaky. And I don't like that I know even one of his kinks. I want to know zero of them." She shrugs and picks her sandwich back up. At last, something she can eat while discussing. "As far as his visit though. He gave me one of Lucifer's flight feathers. Which I _immediately_ handed off to mon cerf."

Alastor

"He certainly has poor taste in kinks." He says this like his ace ass is some sort of elitist kink connoisseur. Like a wine snob judging a broke-ass college kid for drinking box wine. "But is that the *only* sense you meant he's freaky in, or...? Granted, handing an acquaintance a souvenir harvested from the body of one's vanquished nemesis is a hell of an opening statement all by itself, but."

Valera

"I wish." Look at that face scrunch. It won't keep her from taking a bite out of her sandwich, but still. "No, I mean his very presence was like trying to breathe oil. He's.." She frowns, brow furrowing as she tries to think of a less melodramatic way to put it. "He's nice, but in the way people are nice to a pet."

Alastor

A huff. "I got a little bit of that impression from talking to him. Granted, Radio Demons are a naturally condescending lot, but even at that..." He searches for the right words. "He strikes me as the kind of person incapable of seeing anyone as his equal. Even his own alternates."

Valera

She nods. "Yes, I think you're right. We're entertainment more than we are people. Perhaps _especially_ his alternates, come to think of it.." Judging by the way he'd treated his alts on dash..

Alastor

"Could be worse—could be outright loathing—but I'm wary around any alternate who can't even see *himself* as a kindred spirit. I'm hoping I can take advantage of it, though. I've got an open invitation to visit his dimension sometime to provide entertainment—a few Hamilton songs from me in exchange for a tour. I plan on scouting the place out then."

Valera

"Oh yeah! You do, don't you! You should try and see what happened to the other overlords in his Hell. Assuming he didn't kill them as soon as they manifested, I've wondered whats become of them."

Alastor

"So have I. I have to think overlords still exist—what does it matter to a king if the peasants claim ownership of a block or two?—but whether any of them are the same overlords *we* know..." He grimaces. "He said he took power in the fifties, didn't he? If we're assuming a worst case scenario where he executed all the overlords who currently existed, that includes Sir Pentious and Rosie. Maybe Rosie was minor enough to be spared, if anyone was spared at all; but someone else with ambitions for the throne..."

Valera

She scowls, shoving the rest of the sandwich in her mouth to keep from saying anything before she can think it over. He was right, and the thought was.. Deeply uncomfortable. A hard swallow, and she starts brushing the crumbs off her chest. "We're set to have lunch together tomorrow, *out* of my house." She doesn't sound especially *happy* about the arrangement, but oh well. "If I learn anything new, I'll let you know. Between the two of us, we should hopefully be able to get a feel for what situation we're dealing with. Odds are his Pentious was exterminated."

A blink, and she squints. "Actually, he said something to Theodore today. His Hell has had some *significant* technological advancements since he took the throne, he was very proud of that fact. All radio based, obviously, but he doesn't strike me as an inventor."

Alastor

"*Our* Hell's had significant technological advancements since the fifties, too," Alastor pointed out. "He could be collecting newly-dead inventors and pressing them to turn their expertise toward radio-based applications. Or, hell—it could simply be that having V#x out of the way means the technological developments in Hell naturally drifted a different way."

He gives Valera a tired, wan smile. "I'd *like* to imagine that Sir Pentious is happily toiling away as the royal inventor, but I don't want to get my hopes up. I don't think the majority would be happy with that."

Valera

"Mm, I'm being too optimistic. And he would hate it, so maybe it's for the better that he's probably been exterminated." She sighs. "I don't know if we manage to find trouble, Alastor, or trouble manages to find us. Either way, what a pain. Any other questions before we drag ourselves back to the dreadful chore of watching Hamilton get shot on stage over and over?"

Alastor

"Just one." He nods toward the stage. "Do you think it's been long enough since the last time I got in trouble that I can start singing 'he's never gon' be president now' when the bullet connects?"

Valera

Now that is a very serious question that must be considered.... Hrm... "Yes, but barely. I think the director would throw his clipboard at you, but not much beyond that. He's on his sixth coffee of the day, so the odds of dodging are in your favor."

Alastor

"Maybe he'll forgive me out of pity if I let it connect." He stands, picks up his own sandwich—yeah, he's had a sandwich this whole time—and devours it in five huge bites. "Shall we?"

Valera

For some reason, she's tempted to clap at that display. But no time for more banter, it's back to work. "We shall."

Alastor

Back to work. Time to watch Hamilton get shot again.

Valera

~~Boooooo give us a twist ending next time, add some leopards eating people's faces~~

Alastor

~~Hamilton is the leopard and he tries to eat Alastor's face for singing in the middle of his dramatic death~~

[temporaryrose100]

Falling In Love With A Murderer: Chapter 4 (Hazbin Hotel: Alastor X Reader)

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

No One’s POV

Alastor led Y/N out of the bar and the two walked along the streets. Y/N held onto Alastor arm tightly, scared to even let go.

For some reason, Alastor didn’t really mind. To tell you the truth he likes it. Y/N holding onto his arm like this made him feel some way that he can’t explain.

Alastor looked down at you and smiled. “Dear, Mimzy told me what happened. And I feel terribly sorry for you” he said. Alastor wasn’t lying, he did feel sorry but he was also pissed at himself. He had to ruin her pure and innocent mind didn’t he.

Y/N stayed silent and at every step the two made, she would hold onto Alastor’s arm tighter. Alastor noticed this and let out an unnoticeable sigh. He knew had to do something. An idea popped into the murderer's head. He looked back up and smirked.

“What if you just heard stuff, dear?” Alastor questioned which made Y/N look up at him with fear in her E/C eyes.

“N-No! I didn’t hear things!” Y/N started. She let go of Alastor’s arm and stopped walking. “I didn’t! I saw him! And that woman...” Y/N yelled a little bit hurt that one of her friends didn’t believe her.

Alastor looked at Y/N before closing his brown eyes and shaking his head lightly. ‘Oh, why does she have to be so complicated right now?’ Alastor asked himself. He reopened his eyes and smiled widely. “Now dear, all I’m doing is looking out for you. We won’t want people calling you crazy now would we?” Alastor asked as he replaces his once charming smile with a dark smirk.

Y/N noticed this and begun to feel uneasy. She took a step back and shook her head. “N-no” she said. Y/N was ready to run back to Mimzy bar if Alastor pulled anything.

Alastor chuckled before he quickly walking towards Y/N. Before she could even react he cut her off. “Then let’s go check out the place you saw the ‘murder’ took place” he said while putting an arm around your shoulder and leading you somewhere.

Time Skip

When the two made it to the alleyway where Y/N witnessed the supposed murder, Alastor started to walk into the alleyway. Before he could even take another step Y/N grabbed his arm. “Alastor what if the murderer is still there?” She asked with fear in her voice. But all Alastor did was slyly smirk and continued to walk to the dark alleyway.

Y/N waited for probably about a minute or so until Alastor poked his head out of the alleyway. “Dear?” He asked. Y/N looked up from the ground she was staring at and hummed in response. “Well, the thing is, I don’t see anything” Alastor told.

This made Y/N’s eyes widened and she froze in her spot she was sud at. Her mind had begun to fill up with thoughts. ‘It...it was here! I know it...’ Y/N took a deep breath, trying to calm herself down. She hesitantly took a step forward before running past the radio show host.

Alastor quickly chuckled before following the confused girl. Y/N started to frantically look around. “Her dead body was right there!” Y/N yelled as she pointed over to the spot she saw the girl at. Y/N was about to go looking around a bit more but Alastor grabbed her wrist and made her turn around to face him.

He then put a hand over her head and asked wit a ‘worried’ tone in his voice. “Dear, are you sure you ok? Are you sick?” Before she could answer Alastor began lightly pushing the H/C haired girl out of the dark alleyway. “Now let’s get you home! And I don’t want any buts” he said before giving Y/N his Final push.

Y/N looked over Alastor like she was going to say something but she just shut her mouth and started to walk off.

Right before Alastor went and go follow Y/N he turned to a large trash can and smirked. He opened it a little and smirked evilly. “don’t worry dear, I’ll be back” Alastor told as he wiped a little bit of blood off the woman cheek and lick it off his finger. He closed the trash can and quickly started to make his way over to Y/N.

‘Anyway, if I didn’t, what would I eat?’ Alastor thought to himself with a murderous smile on his pale face.