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gingeraleluke · 3 years

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𝘀𝗽𝗼𝗶𝗹𝗲𝗿𝘀

𝗽𝗮𝗶𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀: tom holland x fem!reader

𝘀𝘆𝗻𝗼𝗽𝘀𝗶𝘀: your boyfriend got home just in time to watch his most recent interview on tv with you.

𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀: swearing, nothing just fluff! :)

𝗔/𝗡: this is my first time writing for tom so i hope you guys like it!! <3

this is based on the spider-man: far from home interview with jimmy kimmel!

◦◦,`°.✽✦✽.◦.✽✦✽.°`,◦◦

the young girls heart was silent for the first nineteen years of her life. nothing but a faint heartbeat and some clouded thoughts of little to nothing inconsistencies. from the moment she first opened her eyes as a baby, separating her fingers and spreading her toes while her newly polished eyes tried making sense of her surroundings, to the ripe summer when her mother insisted she become a camp counselor to succumb enough money to buy her very own long-overdue car. the girl felt nothing.

the teens she longed to be alike were a mere hourglass, y/n a shadow. portraying their success and growth without mirroring any of her own, she felt like a weak duckling surrounded by marvelous swans. she would spend her youth watching blondes fall for brunettes on television, plopping popcorn into her mouth while pressing rewind on her favorite romantics, watching the way they would look at eachother and move with one another. she never thought she could be able to experience that. everything inside her was too quiet, too plain.

and then she met tom. it became loud, too loud, and she loved it. everything she thought she could never achieve, she achieved with him. her colorless days no longer existed and she fell deeper and deeper in love with him everyday.

switching the tv from some medical soap opera, y/n sat on her couch. she wore nothing but a plain bra and a pair of baby blue satin shorts. normally, she’d cover up more, especially if she had company over, but tom was a different kind of company and a comfortable one at that.

“THOMAS HURRY UP!” she could hear her boyfriend yell a faint, “i’m coming,” through the noise of the water running. shortly after, the shower stopped as y/n scrolled mindlessly through her phone, impatient.

she expected to see her boyfriend walk out of the bathroom, a trail of steam behind him, but instead she heard the loud roar of a hairdryer.

“for fucks sake-“ her mouth was lacking the salty and buttery flavor she craved so she took the opportunity to use her time by putting some popcorn in the microwave while her boyfriend blowed out his hair.

as she watched the minutes on the timer go down, the machine dinged as she grabbed a bowl and poured the snack inside it. she made her way back to the bench sofa and extended her legs out on the grey island cushions. the lace on the trim of her shorts tickled her feet as she folded her legs. “TOM HURRY THE FUCK UP, ITS ALMOST STARTING!”

the girls mouth was full as she yelled, losing patience with the boy. “IM SORRY, IM COMING!”

minutes later, a shirtless tom holland, wearing nothing but a white towel wrapped around his waist, appeared in their shared living room. the girls eyes grew big, his doing the same as he took in her taboo and exposed form.

“what- tom! you haven’t even gotten dressed yet?!”

“well, neither have you, apparently! plus, this is pretty comfortable, is it not?”

“tom-“ she warned.

“i got it, i got it..” his bare feet slapped against the hardwood floors as he quickly ran into their bedroom and retrieved his clothes. he came back out wearing a black t shirt and a pair of light blue sweatpants.

“KIMMEL IS STARTING!” she pointed at the tv and looked over to see tom bounce down onto the couch next to her, sprawling his legs out like she had done earlier.

“baby, that’s just the intro, i’m not there yet.” she peered over at him.

“who said i’m watching this for you?” he turned his head and made a sarcastic face.

“yeah, sure..” he mocked.

“WAIT, i need my blanket! go, get it, i don’t want to miss this!”

“y/n, it hasn’t even started yet-“

“now tom!”

“but what if i miss it!”

“you were there, you already know what happens-“ you lightly shoved his clothed knee and he sprung to his feet, so fast that tessa jolted up and ran after him.

“tessa! calm down!” the dog didn’t listen and continued following her dad, panting the whole way back.

once they were settled, jimmy announced his upcoming guests before a quick commercial break.

“quick, my ass..” she muttered.

tom stifled a chuckle. “why are you so bent up about this? you’ve seen my interviews before!”

“yeah, but i’ve never been able to actually watch one with you! it’s like… an entirely different experience!”

he didn’t believe her. “are you sure that’s the real reason? or is it because you just want me to give you secret info on the film, because love, you know i can’t do that, not after last time.”

she placed a hand on her chest playfully, “tom! i would never, how could you think of me like that?! as if i would ever do such a thing!”

“mmhmm..”

the commercials came to an end and y/n looked up to see jimmy start announcing the cast.

“shit, oh my god, it’s happening.”

“shhh, calm down!” tom laughed, placing a hand on your shoulder, his other arm sprawled out behind the frame of the sofa.

“how can i keep calm!? my fucking BOYFRIEND is about to be on tv! you know how many people can say that they are dating spider-man? like, no one!” her knee was bouncing and she couldn’t contain the excitement. watching someone on television while sitting in the same room with them was a rush she had never felt before.

she was loud as hell inside.

“please welcome, tom hol-“

“WHOOOOO, YEAH!!” she started clapping dramatically and stood up for a quick second, her eyes glued to the tv as she watched her boyfriend appear, while her actual boyfriend sat there laughing at her excitement.

they did a stupid elevator bit, before him and everyone else walked up to their chairs.

“really, tom?” his dark eyes flickered to hers. “what?! i thought you would like it, it’s funny!” she rolled her eyes and smiled, thinking to herself: my boyfriend is a dork, even on national television.

◦◦,`°.✽✦✽.◦.✽✦✽.°`,◦◦

“oh my god, you all look so good.”

“i know, right?”

“look at jake!”

“yeah-“

“look at zendaya!”

“i know-“

“OH MY GOD LOOK A-“

“OKAY Y/N, i get it, everyone but me is attractive, thanks. you’ve made it pretty clear.” he frowned as you gushed over how good his coworkers looked.

“yes, tom! i think you look awful, that’s why i’ve been dating you for the past four years, because i think you are ugly.”

he looked at his girlfriend, uncertainty in his eyes.

“oh, come on, i’m joking! you’re beautiful, come here.” she grabbed the side of his head and pulled him over so his head was laying on her chest. she began to play with his hair while watching.

“so the trailer came out, the trailer got like 135 million views within the first hour-“

“yeah it did!” she exclaimed, her fingers busy in his hair.

“see, i didn’t know that then.” he muttered, his brows furrowing together as tessa looked up at him from y/n’s lap.

“well it’s no secret, i’m not very good at instagram.”

y/n bursted out laughing. it wasn’t even that funny, but all of her emotions where heightened in this moment.

“oh god, i know where this is going.. this is the zendaya story isn’t it?” you smirk down at him and he lifts his head to nod at you.

“i knew it..”

“i basically.. forgot to post the trailer.”

“that’s bad.”

“yes jimmy, yes it is.” she couldn’t contain the snickers leaving her mouth and tom protested against it.

“listen, it’s difficult for some people, okay!”

“mmhmm, whatever you say baby.” she remembers distinctly, waking up and asking her boyfriend why he never posted the trailer, which caused him to wind up into a frenzy and immediately contact zendaya for assistance.

“well, you wouldn’t tell me how to!”

“tom, you’re a grown man! you should be able to figure that out yourself, peter parker.” she leaned over and kissed his cheek, his arm wrapped around her.

“so you’re IT for the team?”

“yeah, y/n, making poor zendaya the it for the team-“

“oh, shush, it was funny as fuck. but not as funny as the time you spoi-“

he placed his finger on her lips to quiet her, “oh, stop it!” she giggled in response.

she watched as zendaya recalled the moment she had to screen record how to delete an instagram story for him, which was another thing y/n refused to help him with. sure, she loves him and all, but watching the panic on his face as he realizes that he messed up, always cracked her up. especially since he brags about how ‘tech savvy’ he is for his age.

“it’s not my fault you’re a grampa!”

“yeah, we’ll, you’re dating a grampa!”

“true, i am.”

her hands reached towards her blanket as she put her popcorn bowl down and laid the covering over her and her boyfriend. the grey weighted blanket matching the couch perfectly.

◦◦,`°.✽✦✽.◦.✽✦✽.°`,◦◦

“okay, wait…why are you guys still in highschool?!” y/n had paused the program to engage in a very serious and heated discussion about the aftermath of endgame which led up to the beginning of his new movie, far from home, which had yet to come out.

“i mean.. it’s five years! i’m so confused.” tom sighed, placing his hands on his knees, he sat up straight. “like i said in the interview, y/n, i don’t know.”

“well… ask the russo brothers! i mean, jacob is right, that’s a huge plothole!”

toms eyes sparkled as he looked at his lover trying to make sense of the whole thing.

“i… i don’t even know what to say right now. my whole life is a lie!”

“okay, let’s not get too dramatic here-“

“NO, tom! as an avengers fanatic, i need to know!” she gripped the hem of his shirt and tugged, his body jolting forwards.

“tell me!” she shook him as he laughed and tessa barked.

“i don’t know, baby!” she frowned slightly and looked at her boyfriends amused face.

“i’m dating spider-man, you’d think i’d get the inside scoop.” she rolled her eyes and placed her legs back up on the cushions. tom leaned over and looked her up and down, flickering from her bare chest and her eyes. he leaned into her neck and started planting kisses. “i’m sorry, i will be sure to ask someone at marvel for you.” she smiled sweetly before thanking him.

“has everyone seen avengers: endgame?”

the girl rose to her feet, the blanket stuck to her bare legs. “yes, jimmy, i have! i saw my boyfriend get dusted right before my fucking eyes!”

tom remembered the first time he watched the film with her. it was hard for him to keep it under wraps and while he did end up telling her some spoilers, he kept out the whole ‘death by thanos’ part.

“okay, calm down little one.” he reached his arm out to pull her down, back to the couch.

“tom, baby, i know you like.. could get in trouble for it but-“

“y/n… not this conversation again.” he put his hand up to his forehead, two fingers on the bridge of his nose. she knew that if she prodded and poked in all the right spots, that her boyfriend would give in. that it just took a little push for him to confess all the dirty details of his new blockbuster.

“come on! i am begging, tom- i have so many questions, can you blame me? i mean… mysterio, like.. what’s that guy all about?! he’s a villian right?”

“well…”

“a hero?”

“definitely not.”

“antihero?”

“not exactly-“

“UGH, tom! you are killing me here.” she whined, putting her hands on his chest as the paused tv shined upon his features. “please give me something… anything.” she trailed her fingers down his chest, tauntingly.

“anything?” he smirked at her.

“yup. like… maybe just exactly what jakes character is? i mean, i remember him telling us at dinner that time, but that was barely enough, i mean.. there’s gotta be more right?”

“go on.”

“and mj, i mean.. is peter finally going to ask her out? baby, so many questions, i just have so many.”

“well… i guess i could tell you one thing..” he tempted her. her lips twitched upwards as she pressed her forehead against his.

“mmhmm?”

“i could tell you that… the ending of the movie?”

“yeah..”

“is fucking fantastic. really, it’s brilliant babes.”

“because?”

“you will just have to see-“ he was cut off by his girlfriend hitting him in the face with a pillow.

“FOR FUCKS SAKE TOM-“

“quiet down! you are going to get tessa all going..”

“sorry…”

a moment of silence passed as tom squealed, “for fucks sake tom!” in his best high pitched, y/n impression possible.

“shut up!”

the two laughed before she clicked play.

“you look so good here, tom. it’s so weird like- i’m sitting next to you-“ she pointed at tom, “but, there you are on tv!”

“you are just realizing this?”

“well, it’s like inception!”

◦◦,`°.✽✦✽.◦.✽✦✽.°`,◦◦

“i was told, it was a wedding!”

her chest boiled with anger as she quickly hit pause. “NO BECAUSE, fuck you for that! i remember being all excited, thinking tony and pepper were gonna have a beautiful wedding, only to see hes fucking DEAD.”

tom couldn’t hold in his laughs. “i’m sorry, i didn’t know!”

“well it’s pretty obvious, tom! everyone’s sad and in black, baby, you really are an airhead.”

“hey-“ she cut him off with a kiss to his lips.

the two cuddled up while watching the interview, small laughs leaving their bodies.

“like, zendaya! when did you find out how endgame ended?”

“oh, i remember. me, jacob, and zendaya were all in a facetime call freaking the fuck out, while my boyfriend over here, was chilling like nothing was wrong.”

“you guys were in a facetime call?” he questioned.

“yes! i was heartbroken and i had gotten a call from z who was clearly also upset!”

“well, he’s fine clearly! i mean, i wouldn’t be in far from home if peter was dead, right?”

she looked up at him, his heartbeat still lingering on her skin. “so you can tell me that you are still alive, but you can’t tell me about jake gyllenhaals character?”

“well, it’s a given! obviously peter is alive!”

y/n groaned, her head now resting on his chest.

“dating a superhero is difficult.”

“aww, poor darling, i’m sure it is.” he peppered kisses along her forehead.

“hey! you ate all of the popcorn?!” tom was flabbergasted, his voice heightening a few octaves.

“yep, and what about it?” her tone dripping in sass.

“i wanted some, for one!”

“too bad, maybe if you would spill the deets on far from home, you’d get some of my popcorn. hell, tom, if you confess right now, i’ll make you a whole bowl!”

“no.”

“well it was worth a try!”

◦◦,`°.✽✦✽.◦.✽✦✽.°`,◦◦

“i can’t believe it’s over.” the house was completely silent, the only thing audible being tessa’s light snores.

“i’m gonna miss that guy..”

“baby, i’m right here.” he placed his hand at the small of her back, looking at her lovingly.

“i’m talking about mysterio.”

“oh, yeah, great!” she giggled at his response. “he’s just so hot, tom! way hotter than peter-“

“yeah, maybe if you think manipulation is hot!”

her mouth fell agape at his words.

“what?” he said, oblivious to the screw up he just made. she smiled widely at him as he slowly was hit with realization.

“oh, fucking damn it!”

#tom holland x reader #tom holland #tom holland imagine #tom holland fluff

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echo-of-sounds · 4 years

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hates/scared of loud noises

How Aizawa, Toshi, Hizashi, and Gang Orca would help their s/o who is scared of and jumps at loud/sudden noises. These are shorter than my usual headcanons. I just wanted to write these because there have been so many thunderstorms lately and five houses around me were using fireworks all damn weekend. It’s exhausting getting startled that badly every thirty minutes.

Aizawa Shouta

He’s a quiet guy. His footsteps are near silent. He doesn’t make much noise when working and walking around the apartment. And he has a rather flat affect. In battle, he may yell. To get his student’s attention, his voice might raise oh-so-slightly. In disagreements or arguments, his voice firms up and deepens but it very rarely goes beyond that. It’s pretty nice to live with, except when you yelp because someone’s suddenly talking right behind you. He’ll start to make a little more noise so you don’t get scared.

He understands being afraid of yelling and other such noises but he doesn’t really understand the fear of thunder and fireworks. It’s only noise. It can’t hurt you. Nevertheless, he is a good boyfriend who will comfort you through the storms.

He’s actually glad you don’t like fireworks because it gives him another reason to stay home (though he doesn’t like how scared you get). During thunderstorms and firework shows he’ll lay in bed and hold you tight to his chest. Any loud booms that make you tense up, he’ll stroke your back and whisper that it can’t hurt you and you’re safe.

If there’s one person at the end of the hallway who always slams their door and startles you, he’d encourage you to talk to them. He wants you to stand up for yourself and never wants you to sit back and just accept things that make you uncomfortable. It’s completely possible that they would change their behavior or may not even know they’re doing it. If you truly can’t do it for whatever reason, he will. Besides, he would also like people to not constantly slam things. It’s just annoying.

Yagi Toshinori

He isn’t particularly loud or quiet in the home. After everything he’s gone through, he’s come to be a gentle man and his movements and sounds reflect that. He’ll change simple behaviors to help you. When you’re engrossed in something, he’ll make some noise so you aren’t startled by him. He keeps the TV volume low so no explosions or yelling scares you. If he’s going to drop something heavy, he warns you in advance.

The accommodations are simple but that doesn’t stop feelings of being needy or high-maintenance from rising. You should be able to handle a door closing or a dog barking without your heart skipping. He’ll notice your worry very quickly. Once you talk about it, he’ll assure you everything he does is so easy he barely notices that he does it anymore. He just wants you to feel comfortable.

At the end of an anxiety-ridden day, hearing a cell phone ring can be shocking enough that you cry. He’s immediately beside you, helping you through any grounding or self-soothing techniques. He knows them well since he’s found them useful for his own anxieties.

Toshi enjoys festivals and fireworks. He likes the community, the colors, the food, and the fun. When he learns you don’t like them, he will be disappointed that he can’t experience all of that with you. If you ever want to go and leave before the fireworks start, he’d be grateful. If you don’t, he understands and hides his disappointment so you don’t feel bad. And if you encourage him to go with his friends, he won’t. He wouldn’t be able to enjoy himself, worrying about you being alone and scared. The only way he could go and actually have fun is if you’re with a friend or family member.

Yamada Hizashi

His shouting and yelling can be intimidating. Sometimes it’s on purpose. Sometimes his voice booms on accident, notably when he’s emotional. But he hates seeing you flinch/recoil so he pays extra attention to his quirk whenever you’re around.

He’d be a little bummed out if you don’t want to go to any concerts or live music because he loves sharing his interests with you. Don’t worry though. He gets it and would never push you. To make up for it, he’ll want to watch recordings of concerts with you. Even if you don’t like the band or music, sitting through the hour long video is the least you could do. He loves it so much and his smile is worth it.

He becomes very aware of your sensitivities in the environment. Every time a balloon pops or some kid screeches he checks in with you. Different days allow different tolerances. If you’re okay, he’ll be attentive to you from there on out, holding your hand for reassurance. If he turns and sees you’re clearly upset, he guides you to safety.

Those times when something thuds loudly in the next apartment and you can’t calm down even though there’s no real threat, he’s right there to soothe you. It’s the same through thunderstorms. If he’s not home, he’ll call you to talk you through it. If he is home, he’ll give you noise-canceling headphones and curl up with you under a soft blanket (totally not unlike that Ouran High School Host Club moment).

Gang Orca

He makes a lot of noise unintentionally. This guy’s footsteps can be surprisingly heavy and startling. His strength gets away from him every now and then, leading to something getting broken. And, while he’s not clumsy, having such a hulking figure has led his head and arms to get knocked against a wall or machine in a small space. Whenever he makes a sudden and/or loud noise, he apologizes immediately and comforts you. Sometimes you get more worried about his scuffed forehead than the sound. At least it diverts your attention away from any anxiety.

After getting startled, it’s hard to refocus because you’re so on edge, fearing another noise or something worse will come soon. He may not know how to help the first few times it happens. He just knows you’re scared and will comfort you to the best of his ability. Later, he’ll ask if there’s anything you use to self-soothe or what he can do to help you better.

He’s always willing to listen if you need to vent or want to open up about why you get scared. Sometimes there’s a physical or mental cause (hyperacusis, past trauma, high anxiety) and sometimes there isn’t. If it becomes debilitating and interrupts your life, he will encourage you to visit a doctor to see if there’s something out there that would help you.

He loves thunderstorms. The rain, sounds, and smells are all comforting to him. He’s fairly shocked that some people don’t like them. During unusually intense thunderstorms, he’ll prepare a nice hot bath with your favorite candles and music. He’ll join if you ask and it’s possible it’ll lead to more intimate, distracting things.

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letsperaltiago · 4 years

Text

when the morning comes

Summary: The lazy, soft morning after Jake and Amy's first date and "Lets not have sex right away"-kinda night aka. me making up for my craving for more Peraltiago in the ‘New Captain’-episode. Pure fluff and goodness.

Rating: G

Words: 4.8k

Read on AO3 here

It feels like waking up from one of those amazing dreams that make you want to fall back asleep, pursue whatever fairytale world your brain had created for you. Waking up that morning feels peculiar, hits differently than otherwise always early and routinely embossed rises. Rather than her alarm clock pounding into her ears, prompting her to rise and kick off yet another productive day, this morning she wakes up to the bright sun begging for her eyes to open.

This morning is the exact opposite of everything she knows.

One thing that does seem to be the same though is that she has slept on her right side, something she can safely do within the four walls of her own home without being bothered. But this morning this seems to be the reason why she’s been awakened by sunlight rather than her many planned alarms.

Amy squints her eyes open just enough to see the sunlight peeking through poorly drawn window blinds - window blinds that definitely aren’t her flowery curtains and a sun that rises in the east and usually doesn’t affect her through her west-bound bedroom window.

Every sensation is brand new. Especially the subtle presence of warmth before her: a pile of blanket and duvet, which could’ve potentially hidden her from the sun but alas is just too flat to do so. Even though they’re mid-May the air around her feels cool, and what she discovers is an open window seems very unnecessary. It’s chilly enough as it is in this estranged bedroom. Plus, she can very clearly hear every sound Brooklyn has to offer - everything from people yelling and honking cars to dogs barking and children laughing. All at once very life-affirming yet bothersome. She tries to form a reality of these new surroundings that she’s seen before but never like this - not from the bed’s point of view.

A tired, miffed feeling creeps over her and the only solution seems to be shutting her eyes in hopes of hiding, sleeping just a bit longer. But the sun rays are much stronger and stubborn, and half-awake she flips over, fleeing, to her opposite shoulder and a position that hides her from the day breaking outside. For a second she almost slips back asleep, into oblivion where she can forget the sudden, uncomfortable waking up.

It’s not as though the presence of another body’s presence has been consigned to oblivion. Flashes of the night’s event still bubble in the back of her consciousness. The mattress shifts beneath her, the duvet shifts against her bare skin, and arms wrapping themselves around the curve of her waist arouse goosebumps and tiny hairs, thousands of them, all at once. When a surprise, an unfamiliar rush of warmth, collides with her skin and floods her veins, she’s drawn out of her before fleeting consciousness and back into a wide awaken state of alert and attentiveness.

As if on purpose, a quiet sigh, one of content, prompts the arms to tighten just a bit more around her and pull her in closer to the warmth of the body behind her. It’s not clear whether it’s caused by the colliding of the skin or her finally being fully awake, but Amy suddenly remembers the evening and night before in its entirety.

Everything. Bouche Manger, brown eyes lighting up when he first saw her walking towards him, strong hands pulling out her chair for her, awkwardness, Kamikaze-shots, talking and laughing for hours with curious eyes raking over each other, him following her home, her offering him to come up… Then the door being kicked shut behind them as their hands were too busy touching the other and then, lastly, naked bodies colliding in a climax that’s been accumulating for so long - months, maybe even years.

Every single detail seems to come rushing back, every sense, almost as if she’s reliving every touch, word and sound exchanged between the two of them - everything from hisses of pleasure and moans of surrender to sweet sighs and happy giggles.

The duvet that was once a wall between the two vessels, wrapping them in each their own little cocoon, has vanished and Amy quickly, though slightly overwhelmed, feels at home against the skin she’s dreamed of touching for so long. She allows herself to enjoy this, for once not overthinking every aspect of it, and melts into the arms she can feel herself fit into so perfectly that it has her silently regretting they didn’t give in to their stubborn pining sooner. Here… She could definitely get used to sleeping here.

Immediately after finally closing her eyes and chasing another round of sleep in this newfound position, the young detective feels the soft pressure of warm lips against the back of her head. The pressure relocates multiple times, each time lower than the previous, and by the time it reaches her neck Amy is back to being more awake than ever before. Fingers and soft palms, ones that aren’t her own, make their lazy way across her exposed ribs, almost as if they’re trying to count them, and even though she doesn’t mind that kind of touch either, at all, Amy appreciates the fact that said touch stays beneath her chest. A chest that holds a galloping heart.

See, it’s not because Amy feels insecure about last night’s events. She knows her partner. He might be cocky and somewhat annoying, but not that deep down he’s selfless and would never use her, especially not for his own randy benefits. Then again, she’s been with the wrong people before, people who didn’t have the right intentions, and so she needs to remind herself that Jake likes her.

Jake. The name alone is enough to make her smile and knowing that the caresses and pecks are from him only makes it even more impossible to not smile. The soft momentum of strokes across her midsection diminishes to a point where only the very tips of his fingers can be felt tiptoeing across her skin and Amy, even though she hates to admit it, has already grown stupidly addicted to the touch. There’s an urge to chase it, seek it out, which she can’t deny but here, even though Amy Santiago will usually just go for whatever she wants but right here and now under the warm covers with her partner of many years, she feels herself hesitate. Not because she’s unsure of him. On the contrary, after so much back and forth, pining and wrong timing, she couldn’t be happier to be where she is. Right now. In bed. With Jake Peralta. But allowing herself to feel like this, about him, will take some courage and kicking down doors.

She reaches for the hand that’s come to a halt on her stomach, placing hers on his. For a second Amy feels like she’s imagining things when Jake’s hand seems to automatically, prompted by her simple touch, entangle his fingers with hers. How can they respond to each other so naturally, so mean to be, when all they’ve known is dodging each other’s romantic advances? Peacefully, and as though it were something they’d done forever when in reality it’s been a couple of hours at most, his fingers fiddle around with hers. It’s light, it’s easy but it somehow means so much. Amy feels the butterflies in her belly break free, as if letting go and giving in to him equals letting in the faith and happiness she’s been longing for but at the same time also been scared of.

Her emotions are all over the place, back and forth, up and down, although she does have one thing she holds on to. Something clear as day even in the fogginess of new emotions and confusion...

I really like you.

The scene plays over and over in her head, brings a smile into existence and Amy feels like she’s back in the copy room or, even better, the evidence locker. The bare arms around her now do feel a lot softer than Jake’s blue flannel, although nothing will be able to beat the feeling of kissing Jake, running her hands up said flannel, in the dim lights of their precinct’s evidence locker. The most inappropriate yet best thing she’s ever done in a professional setting and if she ever gets the chance to do it again, she will.

She wants this. Him. Them.

When making up her mind, deciding that staying reluctant will get her nowhere and there’s a very good reason as to why they’re here, in bed in the AM, Amy manages to switch back to lying on her other shoulder. It brings her face to face with none less than Jake Peralta himself. Obviously, she already knew it was him the soft hands, strong arms and warm chest belonged to. Although there’s something special about facing him, seeing him like this for the first time with tussled hair and skin glowing in the early morning gleam, resting in such a peaceful state, that takes her breath away all over again. Not for long but just for the tiny period of time it takes to fully wrap her usually very sharp, cut to the chase mind around his presence. She persuades herself of the fact that she’s where she’s supposed to be, tries her best, kicks down her barricades, and succumbs to the ever-growing urge to cuddle into his chest. Hopefully to be held just a bit tighter, and tell him just how much she likes him by painting his neck with kisses.

So she does it.

Surrounded by the coziness of their shared duvet, a warmth that somehow still isn’t enough when the window is open, Amy scoots in as close as physically possible. Her arms are pressed to her chest, sandwiched between their chests, but luckily not to a point where she can’t have her hands explore and caress the delicate skin of her partner’s collarbone and chest. Partner - feels weird to call him that now that they’re here.

On his left shoulder is a beauty mark, prominent but not enough for her to have noticed before - then again, before last night, what would’ve been the occasion for her to see it? Said discovery immediately sparks a stronger connection to the young detective before her. She pecks the mark, an act of affection and familiarizing herself with his body, something they’ll get to do now, and the fluttering eyelids she receives in return are enough to keep her going. With a few seconds in-between, enough time to take in the feeling and taste of his skin, musky, a bit salty from last night, she switches between pecks with lips and strokes with her nose. Just about anything that will keep them in touch. At some point, after having showered him with affection for some time, it provokes a muffled grunt, a clearing of his throat, and even though it has no literal meaning Amy feels as if he’s been the first to break the silence. His eyes are still closed though and she doesn’t want to risk waking him up so she waits; she waits even though all she wants to do is talk to him, look into his eyes, make him smile. Everything. Him, him, him.

“Why’d’ya stop?” He mumbles, voice laced with fatigue and hoarseness to it, not quite comparable to anything she’s experienced before and it’s… nice. This raspy voice is not just another simple detail, a sound he murmurs into the top of her head, sending vibration throughout her entire vessel. No, to Amy, it’s the fact that that he’s been asleep for hours, next to her; he’s just woken up and she just so happens to be the lucky one who gets to be a part of his first moments of rising from his sleep - something oddly intimate and heartwarming.

“Didn’t wanna wake you up, ” she whispers as if he was still asleep, maybe, in a twisted, self-contradictory way, wishing he was so that she could live on in the hazy, daydream-like bubble of a reality that had seemed to surround them when he was still asleep and she didn’t have to worry about being weird, too much, too little, or whatever. Can’t they just in bed like this - limbs all tangled up, lips melting onto each other’s skin at random intervals - and pretend the world outside doesn’t exist? A stupid world where Holt is gone, Captain Dozermann is watching them like a hawk, and everyone they know wants to meddle.

“Don’t mind waking up…” He huffs, lazy as ever, before dragging his lips from her hairline down to peck her lips in a way that’s so careful and soft that has Amy surrender on the spot. The attentive touch of his lips is imitated by his fingers which initiate a delicate tracing of small nonsense patterns on her bare back that somewhat makes up for the loss of his lips seconds later “... when you’re here.”

Amy is at a loss for words. Obviously, hidden behind competitive and childish behavior, she knows her partner is the most genuine kind of person with a heart of gold and good intentions. Although, experiencing this whole other side of him - toned down, calm, affectionate, romantic even - has Amy questioning all past decisions she’s ever made. How come he hasn’t been one of them sooner? How come she’s kept this, the subject of them, off-limits for so long when right now it feels like everything she could ever ask for?

A breeze travels in through the window, automatically resummoning her goosebumps and a small shiver, but Jake is quick to catch on, there’s a problem he needs to fix, so he pulls her in even closer in hopes of keeping her warm and shielded. “Hey, you feeling okay?”

Her silence, lack of words, perhaps, must’ve worried him and even though her silence is nothing but a good sign, meaning that she feels at home with him, appreciates, she realizes that she can’t allow that his worry lasts. She’s happy, more than, to be here with him and he needs to hear that.

“Yeah, I’m… good.”

After tilting her head back just enough for him to be able to see her face she draws her lips into a smile, tired but of the most genuine and charming kind, and allows her frigid-feeling fingers to palpate his chest. Now it’s his turn to feel goosebumps diffuse across his skin, not quite sure if it’s her cold fingers’ work or simply the fact that Amy Santiago is blessing him with chaste touches of affection that he’s been dreaming about for so long. He wonders if the pattern of her strokes is meant to follow the rhythm of her soft breathing or if he’s just imagining things. Analyzing how her hands dance back and forth across him to the lulling sway of her lungs.

“Is this okay?” He asks again and Amy never thought she’d get to see Jake Peralta careful and lowkey vulnerable like this.

He’s well aware of the fact that it perhaps is a bit late to ask so, after many hours of kisses and touching, but better late than never, especially if it concerns her comfort. Even though he’ll, of course, accept her retraction, with no hesitation, he hopes this won’t be the last time she’ll be the first thing he sees when he wakes up.

“Yeah. I thought the kissing and touching would communicate that?” she says with just enough confidence in her whisper and glint in her eyes to persuade him.

“Of course, I just-” he halts, the sounds and words in his throat somehow not making sense, even before they’re out of his mouth. How does he know? He just does… That’s how it works, in his brain, when she’s looking at him like the whole world revolves around him. Though, at least to him, the truth is that it revolves around her. “I just wanted to make sure that you didn’t regret anything?”

She curls her eyebrows into a confused frown, nose wrinkling along, instantly making Jake feel bad. Did he say something wrong?

“I mean, do you regret anything?” The confusion on her face quickly melts away, transitioning into a new nervous character that lets Jake know that the only reason why she’s been so silent and careful all morning is probably that she’s just as nervous as he is. No need to make her feel like she should regret anything when he certainly isn’t.

“No, Ames, no!” He hopes the sentimental squeeze from his hand on her back can pull her confidence back in from the sea of doubt flooding her mind. “I- I’m just rambling because you’re here, with me, and I can’t believe it because it’s so... good.”

With minimal stuttering he makes it through the closest thing he can come to a grand emotional confession, one that won’t chase her away this early on, and watching her expression loosen up, lips lightly parted in surprise, he prays to God he hasn’t overstepped.

Open window, crisp air, and the stubborn sun are immediately forgotten, replaced by the warmth Jake’s confession contained. He likes her and she him, the last puzzle piece falling into place, and in there is no, not here or in any other parallel universe, a good reason to hold back anymore. A new wave of emotions, clear and virtuous, comes crashing over her, pushing her to an extent where she can’t help herself. Just like the wave of emotions washing over her, she pushes, knocks him onto his back, and washes over him with her body, duvets and sheets quickly becoming disarranged around them. God knows they’ve kissed already. Both a couple of first kisses during their undercover mission and during the long night of discovering this new side of each other, but right then when she kisses him, not just a peck this time, there’s no more worry, no more hesitation nor overanalyzing.

She’s got herself hovered over his chest, hands tangled in his messy curls and starving lips working overtime to let him know that she loves being here and if he’ll have her then she’ll gladly stay. Even through the motion of being pushed over by her he never lets go of her, hands firm on her lower back and holding her as close to him as physics will allow. The kiss deepens, small smiles and whimpers of simple and sincere joy are exchanged between their lips’ rhythmic reunions, and, fully neglecting prior hesitation, Amy ascends, almost drags herself onto his body. She’s got him straddled but this time the agenda isn’t sexual. Sure, their sex was mindblowing but right now all she wants to do is pepper him with kisses that tell the story of how she’s missed him even though he’s never been hers to miss - at least not until now.

Jake probably has a similar calling, an urge to show her how much he cares about this emotional fusion, this brand new intertwining of their lives that’ll create a story they’ve yet to fully experience because he pays her back by pushing back - back to lying on her back.

Even though Amy’s eager to pick up where they left off, hands still in his hair and on his neck, Jake halts in his now hovered position which leaves him as the only thing within her point of view.

“I really like you, Amy.” The words are undoubtedly earnest, even laced with the heavy breathing caused by the kisses, and Amy could happy cry if her eyes weren’t too busy taking in the sight above her. Little did she know that she herself - dark messy hair tousled all around her head on the pillow, pink plump lips agape in awe and deep, sweet chocolate eyes - was the world’s eighth wonder, lying right there between his arms.

“And I know I’m, like, kinda a mess,” he chuckles nervously, his secretly fragile heart on his sleeve because Amy Santiago will do that to a poor guy like him. “But I swear I-I’m not here to mess things up or, like, dumb stuff like that.”

“I know, Jake.” There’s comfort for him to find in her eyes. He can tell she believes him which is more important than anything else. Her smile gives him the confidence he needs to go on, and the sudden calm that comes washing up on the shore of their little, intimate metaphorical island comes as a strong contrast to their little makeout session just seconds ago. “That’s why I’m here.”

“Cool…” He trails off, drowning in her presence and as if she wasn’t perfect enough already, she picks up where he’s left off.

“... cool cool cool.” It’s exactly what he needed to hear - it’s simple, silly but so them. Her grin is wide and proud as she says it, she knows he’ll love it, and if it means she can earn a smile then she’ll gladly do it.

“Wow, you learn so fast.”

“Oh, I’ve been caught up for longer than you think, Peralta.”

Their grins meet but Jake is weak, has to give in, and bend his arms just enough to kiss her, brushing off that perfect grin of hers with a peck before returning to his hovering position.

“Is that so?” He cocks an eyebrow. If he let her off the hook, passed up the opportunity to challenge his always know-all partner - even post-boinking - they wouldn’t be Jake and Amy, Peralta and Santiago,

The way the dynamic has changed, so effortlessly, from being caught up in a whirlwind of new emotions and confession to their stupid banter has them both persuaded: this feels right. They almost, the key-word being almost, drown in this first page of their new chapter when suddenly reality does catch up to them - or her, at least.

“Shoot, what time is it?” She exclaims ducking out of this box he’s created around her with his arms and torso, knocking him over in the process, before reaching for her phone which she believes (last night is still a bit blurry) is in her handbag on the floor.

“Uhm- I don’t know? Too early? Santiago-stylez.” He’s already back to cuddling the duvet, hiding his face in the pillow, and ignoring the very sudden frantic inclination their moment has taken. Just like how their dynamic hasn’t changed, Amy hasn’t changed either and it would be a lie if Jake said this sudden outburst of hers worried him. After so many years of being colleagues, then friends, he’s seen worse and knows when he can intervene with a joke and when he has to intervene with genuine emotional support - this moment seems to be the former.

Meanwhile, on a mission to see what time it is and how horribly late and busted they will be, Amy has got herself leaned over the edge of the bed to grab her handbag. Her hand has just made it into her bag, hand wrapped around her phone when two, by now pretty well-acquainted, arms wrap themselves around her waist and pull her back into the oh so welcoming comfort of Jake’s bed and embrace.“Ooh- Jake!”

“Stay here,” he whines playfully, attacking her neck and shoulders with short pecks that, if they were perceptible on her skin, paint her skin like a starry sky, and he recognizes her scent as being his new favorite: a pleasant mix of her perfume and his own cologne. Even though the way he’s acting reminds her of the comportment of a silly kid, Amy, after recovering from the small shock, has to laugh. She can’t be mad at him, not when all she feels like doing, in all honesty, is to stay in bed all day. In bed where she can kiss and touch him, perhaps repeat the night’s racy activities, without interruption or worries from the outside world.

“We can’t.”

Oh, how she wants to. Especially when she wiggles around in his arms to face his goofy grin and messy hair, feeling like there is nowhere else in the world that’s more important to attend - even work. She’s home.

“We have work.”

From the way a disappointed pout upon realization replaces his before carefree grin, two expressions as different as night and day, Amy can tell he’d already happily given in to their new rose colored reality: a place where time and duties aren’t genuine in existence. A place where there were no eight to four shifts. Four to eight shifts under the command of Captain Dozermann and his awful Dozerpads.

“I have an idea…”

“Uhuh?” she cocks an eyebrow prompting him to go on.

“Okay, so, we quit our jobs-”

“Jake…”

For every word he adds to his farfetched story of a plan he keeps peppering her face, everywhere but her lips - to her dismay - but once again she can’t help but laugh with him. After all, it is what he does the best: he makes her laugh.

“-forget the precinct, no, the entire world, exists-”

“Jake…”

“-and instead we just stay here, all day, all night, forever, and hang out, make out, instead.”

“Jake,” she shuts him up, her index finger firmly placed against his finally hushed lips, and Jake can’t tell if it’s the cutest or hottest thing she’s ever blessed him with - probably both. On her part, Amy is wondering if she’s ever seen anything more adorable than the surprise on his face, bright, childish, and playful eyes when he is shut up and waits for her to talk.

“We have to go, Jake.”

He seizes the situation and pecks her commanding index finger which very quickly drops, slides down his lips before she lets the entire hand fall to his chest.

“But I wanna stay here and… kiss.” The whining tone is back though this time much less dramatic and, more than anything else, pleading. “We never just stay in and kiss.”

She rolls her eyes, still smiling, and it might just be his favorite combination.

“Kissing has never been an option before, dummy.” For good measures, and a million other things and reasons she can’t begin to list because she’ll never finish, she grabs his chin in-between her thumb and the same index finger that moments ago silenced him, pulling his face down for a long, delicate kiss that has his toes curl and fingers dig into the curve of her waist. One, two, three, four, five… he loses track of how long the kiss lasts, rather focusing on running his hands up and down the arch of her back as if it were the last time he ever gets to when in reality, a reality he still needs to learn to fully believe, it’s not. It’s far from the last time. A tiny bump on her lower back, a beauty mark, lets its presence be known under the stroke of his palm, and Jake, already devoted to getting to know every inch of her, makes a mental note of it, promising himself he will come back to kiss it whenever the occasion arises.

“What a mistake that is…” he whispers once she’s pulled back, not farther than the tips of their noses still touching as a constant touch of affection.

“A mistake we can make up for...” Her lips, grinning, peck the tip of his nose. They’re on the verge of falling back in, drowning in their craving for something they’ve been missing for so long and now finally have, like a kid getting something from their wishlist, when Amy decides, for the both of them, that she has to be the bigger person and get them out of bed. “... after work. Okay?”

“Okay…” he nods and it’s impossible not to grin like an idiot.

Eventually, after a few more pecks and loving touches that just can’t be fought off, they get out of bed. As new and unusual as it seems when she slips on a flannel of his that hung on a nearby chair, it very simply also seems equally amazing, incredible, and normal. Even when she catches him gazing at her with admiring eyes, causing blush rises to the apples of her cheeks before she tries to justify her actions with an “I’ll just take it home with me and wash it for you. Then you can have it back when I come over again.”

But she doesn’t have to justify a thing. She can wear any flannel of his she desires, give it back to him whenever or if she pleases, clean or dirty. He doesn’t care. All he cares about is the fact that there will be an again. He’s been promised more - later, tomorrow, next week, after work, before work, again and again, all the time, the next morning - with Amy Santiago.

#peraltiago #Jake and Amy #jake x amy #jake peralta #amy santiago #santiago #peralta #peraltiago fanfic #peraltiago fanfiction #oneshot #new captain #brooklyn nine-nine #Brooklyn nine nine #b99 #Brooklyn 99 #jake amy #jamy #fluff #season 3

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junipedia · 4 years

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OK SO HERES THE FIRST 2 CHAPTERS I KNOW THEYRE NOT GREAT BUT ITS FINE

Hunting season

Dull. This day feels dull. I mean that’s how Oregon weather usually is, grey thick clouds layered over the sky like a weighted blanket threatening to fall with water at any moment. Heavy underbrush making the already crowded woods feel even more claustrophobic. Sneakers seeming to sink further into the wet moss with every step like the woods itself was trying to reclaim you. The snap of a twin you'd hear every once and awhile filling your imagination with every reason besides a rational one as to what it could have been. As unsettling as the woods here are, they bring a sense of comfort and peace like even if something was watching you out there it had no fowl intent with you. Night on the other hand was when those vicious creators came out to prowl. Those snaps of trees turning into something that could be hunting you, chasing you. The paths you thought you knew so well turning into a maze of inkyblack darkness that's reaching out for you…

The snapping sound was louder today than it usually was. My face pointed towards the tops of the dying trees, half expecting to see something looking back at me but just being met with a flock of geese flying overhead. The snapping started up suddenly, whipping my face back down to eye level trying to see through the thick ferns and weeds. It sounded like a bulldozer headed straight for me. “Oh my fucking god, Athena” i let out the heaviest sigh of relife once I saw the fluffy tail zig-zagging around. I stood upright and rubbed my face, someone must have let her out after I had already left. The only way back to the house was the way I had come. Which was a steep forgotten road that always seemed to stay a bit to be taken care of for being abandoned. Athena rushed past me hitting the breaks when she got to the bottom of the hill. She stopped though her always wagging tail stopping and dropping in between her legs. I stopped. She only ever did that if she was scared or was seeing something she didn't like. I just stood and watched her. If there truly was a threat there she would let me know, show some sign that the area was suddenly dangerous. it couldn't have been a person because if that was the case she would have started barking. In less than a minute her tail was back up and she was trotting away like she was only seconds ago.

“That's a big dog” perched between the underbrush a person sat hunched over making intense eye contact with the canine. He dealt with big dogs but he'd usually know about them beforehand. Well, it wasn't like he DIDN'T know about Athena. He'd been out here watching this family for a while now. He didn't have any tv or media so he liked watching the family's he was camped near for however long he was staying. He'd been in these woods for a while playing cat and mouse with the hunting dogs that the people on this hill owned. Watching this family was the only source of entertainment. He thought it was funny how they argued almost exactly how his family would have, the only reason it was different was that instead of these parents holding it against each other they would sweep it under the carpet only to let it bubble over and resurface in later conversations. The oldest was the most fun to watch. Seeing how each day she drove herself into the ground trying to be the best for everyone just to let them down like she had feared. He thought her name was ironic because it held so much truth, she was just a scared little bunny adopted by wolves trying to also just be a wolf. He stared back at the dog waiting for it to do something. He'd actually grown fond of the pooch so it brought a sliver of warmth when she didn't bark or snarl at him.

“Athena!” I walked to join her, giving her a scratch behind the ears. She wasn't acting strange anymore meaning whatever had spooked her must have left before i could see it.

Walking away I popped my knuckles against the opposing hand.

Pop crackle snap

I stopped, those were cracking joints but. Not my joints. I turned back in the direction id came from. Athena was already long gone from the house so if something was there I'd have to see for myself. I raised my hand up near my face pressing down on one of my fingers until it let out a loud pop. I waited but sure enough a louder crack came from in front of me somewhere. Hesitantly taking steps forward i'd let out a pop only for it to be followed by a louder more aggressive one. I crouched down thinking it could have been in the trees. I brought my hand to my chin and turned it, letting out a chorus of snaps.

Silence. A slow breath escaped me from relief that is until a grotesque song of crunches and bones grinding together. I turn my heaad my eyes meeting with wide crazed one frantically trying to focus on me but the spastic movemts of its shoulders and neck making it hard to look at one thing. I couldn't even make a noise, i knew there was a homeless camp near my house but i had never actually seen any of them. It grabbed my shoulders so tight it was painful. My back hitting the ground causing the air to slip out of my lungs. Its shoulders were still rapidly moving as it pressed its hand around its jaw covering my mouth. My hands shot up and tried to push at its face and chest. I didn't know what to do. It was on me weighing me to the ground. The hoodie it had on covering its body type hiding how strong it could really be. There was nothing i could do, it was obviously stronger than me.

Something must have switched in my brain to say “move idiot if you don't you'll probably die in these woods” I opened my mouth as wide as i could, biting down on the top of its hand. Blood seeping into my teeth and gums. The strong taste of iron filled my mouth as I heard the crunch of the bone I had hit. A mixture of saliva and blood pooling out of my mouth all around and down my chin. It didn't move, didn't even flinch.

Bears trap

He panicked. What else was he going to do, his tics had ever reacted that badly before to someone else's. He held her down, his hand almost covered half her face. He tried to tilt his head to look at her but it just came off as more jerks and pulls from his muscles`just like a bunny” he thought, if he moved his hand just right it could break her in just an instinct. Just like that she’d be gone. His thoughts were interrupted by the crunching of his hand. He watched her try and basically chew her way away from him. “The bunni thinks she's a wolf now” he watched her for a second again before taking his other hand and picking up a good sized rock.

“This is it” I watched him raise the rock, tightly closing my eyes. The only thing I felt was an extreme headache before I just went numb and limp.

“Why is it so cold” was my first thought when I started coming again. Sitting up the familiar sound of a tent zipper opening caught my attention. I tried to sit up and got trapped in the thin sleeping bag I had been in.This was the first time I had seen him at least somewhat up right. He was at least a foot taller than me, leaning into the tent like he was the one cautious of me. He crawled into the tent looking at me, his eyes not as crazed as before but still holding a feeling that at any moment this bomb could go off. He didn't speak as he inched closer and closer. He then reached his hand out. His finger shook as I leaned back but was trapped by the tent. A hot pain running through my back as he touched my forehead where the rock must have hit me. The mask covering his mouth hid what emotion he was truly portraying at the moment. The hand he touched my head with was bandaged, reminding me of the bite I had given him. I raised my hand and wiped my mouth, sticky red blood still coming off meaning that it really hadn't been all that long since all that had happened but just long enough to get dark and colder outside. I opened my mouth but didn't even get a chance to speak before he beat me to it “just dont just dont yell” it took me back to hear him.

This obviously isn't an adult just by the voice. His voice was raspy and almost menacing. Even if he was my age he was still just a kid. We didn't say anything for a while, just analyzing each other like it was a mutual agreement that we would let each other realize what was actually happening before doing anything rash. Yeah, he may have basically kidnapped me but that didn't mean I had to be a dick to him. I don't know how long we stared at each other, it could have been hours or only minutes but after that he crawled further into the tent and simply laid down. Almost like he was just watching me to see if i would do anything to try and leave or get away from him. The only thing keeping the tent illuminated was a small battery operated lantern that was barely bright enough to light up the small tent. He sat up again and looked at me just to turn the lanter off. I could hear him shifting around, maybe to take his mask off. We just laid in silence for what felt like forever. “Aren't you cold” even though I was staying quiet it sounded like I was yelling in the small tent. There was no answer for a moment just the sound of him moving around again. I thought maybe he was asleep before I heard a deep inhale. “no” there was a long silence again before he spoke ”are y-you cold cold?” i hesitated before answering “yeah….i guess i am pretty cold”.

Again there was silence before he moved. I felt him come closer to me before feeling one of his arms touch me. This wasn't right. Not even twelve hours ago he had been the one to bash me over the head with a rock to take me to whatever kinda temporary camp this was. He must have read the room because he stopped and waited. I really took a moment to think about what was happening. Everything was happening way too fast but at the same time the little I've seen of him has shown me that even if he is my age he's clearly unstable. If I didn't let him do what he wanted he could blow at any moment and I really don't know what he's capable of.

He waited for another moment before moving towards me again. He stiffly wrapped his arms around me, even though it was awkward and uncomfortable the warmth he gave off was a nice change from the harsh forest cold.my mind must have just fallen unconscious at some point because the next thing i knew the tent was lit with the dull sunlight that was managing to come through the overlay of clouds. He wasn't next to me anymore but the smell of smoke burned my nose as I could hear the sound of fire crackling and snapping outside the tent.I slowly unzipped the front and peaked out. He was sitting with his back to the tent facing the homemade fire pit that he had made.

Toby hated the fire. He hated all the pain that it has caused him but it was something that he simply couldn't avoid. One of the things he liked about the fire now was that he could tame it, control when it grew and when it withered away. He looked down at his bandaged hand. He hadn't slept last night, he was too nervous to make even the slightest movement just in case it would wake her. The warmth she had given off was...new. “Why did you let me hold you?” he spoke down into his hands, the zipper making him turn around to face her.

They both froze like deer in the headlights again.

No mask. He wasn't wearing his mask right now. He looked so normal. He just stared at me for a while and I stared back at him. Him turning back towards the fire was enough for me to snap back out of it. He poked the fire with a stick, moving a few blackened sticks around to stir up the fire causing embers to rise up into the early overcasted sky. I scurried around him and sat on the opposite side of the fire, watching him through the flames. His eyes shot up at mine like he suddenly felt my eyes on him. His stare was so intense i wouldn't say lifeless no, there was something buried deep behind those eyes doing something to him. I looked back down into the fire, what was there to talk about? Did he even want to talk? I just want to go home.

“Were you cold l-last last night?” I looked at him furrowing my eyebrows together. ‘This man bashes me in the head with a rock but is worried I was too cold?’ I shifted my weight, pulling my legs closer to myself. “I was fine.” There was a long silence after that before either of us even thought to move. He was the first one to move, getting up and grabbing something from the tent. “Where are you going?” he actually seemed shocked that I asked “getting more fire-wood” the moment he said that my eyes snapped back towards the fire. This could be my chance to run.

#ben drowned #creepypasta #creepypasta x reader #eyeless jack #jeff the killer #ticci toby #toby rogers #jane the killer #slender man #creepypasta wallpaper #creepypasta fanfiction #fanfic #self insert #x reader

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what-kinda-fuckery · 4 years

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Hey so, I was one of the star struck falsettos stans that spent the forty dollars for the webinar, and I took notes (like a weirdo). So I decided I would share my funny moments and updates from the cast here!

- Host: Everyone should be keeping their audio off.

Christian: Oh alright!

Host: nO Christian not you

- Christians in Manhattan and his hair is back and he’s wearing a Superman t-shirt.

- Brandon is with his parents in NJ

- Stephanie and Brandon still love each other

- Brandon: Meat should be cooked just right

- Betsy: Stephanie are you in maple wood?

Stephanie: Well thank you for telling everyone where I am (she’s in NJ)

- Stephanie: Are you fucking kidding meee!!!

- Tracie is in LA, she looks like she’s in Costa Rica and I love her dog.

- Anthony’s VOICE IS LOW EVERYONES FREAKING OUT

they’re all talking about Anthony’s clear skin

- Andy Randy is in LA with a fresh haircut his boyfriend did it and he’s watching too much TV

Andrew: I’m watching this is America

Stephanie: SO GOOD

Andrew: SO GOOD

- Everyone’s having hard days

- Christian is acting out tracies dog’s pathetic bark and everyone’s like WHAT are you doing bc it looks like he’s about to throw up

- BETSY IS A WEEK AWAY FROM HAVINGA WHOLE CHILD

Betsy: What else do you do during a pandemic? Have a baby!

Andrew: Can I toss out another baby name? Celery.

Literally everyone: Goodnight Andrew goodbye!

- Christian is living with a girl (?) and playing board games instead of watching television

HE COOKS NOW EVERYONES PROUD OF HIM

Christian: yesterday I made pork filet en croute

Stephanie: I MADE PORK WITH SAGE AND APPLES ON WEDNESDAY

Stephanie: In mean girls they wear pink on wednesdays. In falsettos they make pork.

- I can’t get over Anthony’s voice

Again everyone returning to his literally perfect skin

- Stephanie: When watching four jews in a room in the beginning who’s in China?? I know the answer I just want to hear someone say it.

Andrew, with a thick accent: It was Bryna, in China, with a torn miniscus

- Christian: Did anything interesting make it on to the telecast between me and you? Andrew? Actually I dont remember I need to do my research.

Andrew: There’s been some strange comments about Christian and I- (AT THIS POINT IM WHEEZING)

HE MENTIONED THE TONY BONY

HE SAID IT WASNT A THING

HE DIDNT HAVE ONE

Andrew: No that’s not a thing that happened

Brandon: Andrew i want you to know that it’s okay if it was. It’s a safe space just the seven of us. (Lol)

- Bill Finn would take two steps into the room: “WROONG”

Stephanie: he wanted me to sing the end of I’m breaking down up the octave and I said #notmytrina

Brandon: #NOTMYTRINA

- Tracie what did you do during act 1

Tracie: Betsy and I sat in that dressing room for like an hour and a half

Andrew: You SANG the WHOLE SHOW TRACIE

- Betsy watched parts of the first act to feel like she was there

- Betsy sprained both her ankles at one point during the run and was a trooper anyways

Brandon reenacting Betsy limping during look look look look

Everyone dies laughing

Christians LAUGH makes me SO HAPPY

- Betsys screen is frozen like this: 🤨

Andrew: What if she went into labor??? (This is a common thread throughout the zoom)

- Anthony: I’m getting a lot of glitching so Stephanie is just like “HUH UH UH UH”

- Betsy comes back and everyone is like

YOU GUYS ITS COMING!!!

- They bought Andrew an ice cream for his birthday from the vending machine at rehearsal

- Andrew: The Hawaii crop top

Betsy: I would give anything to have that

- Tracie: it was very hard. Very precise bringing the blocks together

Brandon: Trying to be like oh my god we’re going to a funeral

Andrew: MY DEATH IT WAS MY DEATH

- fan question: What did the blocks weigh?

Stephanie: They were like thick yoga blocks. Not heavy but awkward shaped

Andrew: Significantly heavier when Anthony sat on them

Anthony: I just realized how much I got thrown around

Stephanie: Anthony were you proud of yourself? #proudofyou

Anthony: The one moment I was cringing was father and son

Christian: HERE WE GO *SLAPS TABLE*

Betsy: Anthony’s like BLAH BLAH BLAH blah my line BLAH BLAH BLAH my line BLAH BLAH

Christian: I LEAVE THE PAUSE IF YOU CANT GET IN THATS ON YOU

Anthony: I was blinking in that number like constantly

Christian: THE WHOLE THING LIKE A SALAMANDER

Oh Anthony.

- Andrew: I HAVE A STORY ABOUT CHRISTIAN BORLE. Tech for what more can i say. He was laying on me. We were shirtless in underpants under the blankets.

Christian: SLOWER

Andrew: he leaned over; He sniffed his armpit and said “I hope you like France”

EVERYONE DIES LAUGHING INCLUDING ME

Christian: i haven’t worn deodorant in 10 years true story

- Christian: i seem to remember holding our pillows and blankets pretending like we were partying on fyre island and Andrew said:

Andrew: WHATS YOUR NAME???

Christian: No no it was something like:

WHAT HOUSE ARE YOU STAYING IN??

Andrew: WHAT HOUSE ARE YOU STAYING IN???

Betsy: James lupine I feel like we’re ruining this show

- Andrew: The shenanigans were real but so was the sadness

Stephanie: We’re real and we’re funny what you gonna do

- Andrew talking about how hard the show was to do: Finding some liberty, It’s a hard world to live in all the time. It was a hard time especially for Christian. I would sometimes go home and cry for no reason

Brandon: Building up emotion with nowhere to put it

Betsy: then Lesbians come in and provide all the levity

Stephanie: Although Dr. Charlotte brings in horrible news

Tracie: Everything’s beautiful at what more can i say and I’m like not so fast

- Tracie always had a funny thing to say

- Who broke character the most on stage?

Anthony Stephanie and Christian

Anthony: it was when I said “I don’t want a bar mitzvah” and I spit in your face a lot and you went like *puts arms up* and someone at stage door was like very condescending like it’s not professional

Christian: Oh my bad we’re people sorry

- Stephanie wrote a line in the show “YOU HAVE PAINTINGS OF DICKS”

- James wanted her to cut off her finger during I’m breaking down

And turn around with a bandaged bloody finger

- Betsy’s nose bleeding during something bad is happening

And Tracie was like something BAD IS HAPPENING

Tracie: Christians throwing up right now

Betsy: Bloody Kleenex up the nose THE SHOW MUST GO ON

- Fan question: Stephanie how do you belt with a banana in your mouth

Christian: Practice practice practice

Stephanie: just shove it in your cheek. But Really that wasn’t supposed to happen

Anthony’s nickname in the rehearsal room was little bananas because he had to gather up all the pieces of stuff after Stephanie shoved the table over with her rear. Sometimes he didn’t have enough time to put it somewhere so he would just put the pieces of banana in his mouth and that’s where it came from

That’s why

- Andrew: Stephanie your glasses are very chic

Stephanie: Oh my gosh thank you *shocked*

- Betsy: Bill was like I’d rather DIE than change lyrics for the pbs special

FLaT aS a LaKe

- Cue everyone accidentally talking over each other and saying what at each other for 30 seconds

Christian: what? what? what?

Who is it?

What’s going on?

- If you could play anyone else in the show who would it be

Anthony said Mendel

Tracie said Mendel

Brandon said Trina

Andrew said marvin

Betsy said whizzer

Stephanie said Mendel

And I honestly couldn’t hear if Christian said anything whoops

- Brandon: If someone could at some point explain to me the Mendel eats dirt meme? People have been Asking me if Mendel eats dirt? I don’t think it’s about Trina Trina is not the dirt. I was overwhelmed. Can someone in the Q&A explain this? *A few seconds later* oh It was from a meme generator?

Christian: Greaat.

Brandon: It’s a fan fiction about Mendel eating dirt and getting aroused by it

Everyone: WHAT

- They still get fan art

Someone recreated the whole soundtrack 8bit and also with KAZOOS

- Brandon: CONGRATS CHRISTIAN ON LULOS WIN FOR LITTLE SHOP. If you haven’t seen Christian in little shop it’s revelatory I’m not just blowing smoke up your ass I have not laughed that hard in a while at the theatre

- Christian talking about little shop

Christian has a 12 inch Batman toy in his dressing room and he misses it

- Ticket prices were getting out of control before corona everyones hoping this will make a difference

Brandon and everyone think it should get more accessible

- Brandon: Hear hear I need a refill

- Stephanie: Your hair looks incredible Brandon (it did)

Christian: She’s been waiting to talk about it for 53 minutes

- Andrew: Well Betsy what I’m wondering is have you crowned yet??

Proceed everyone dying

Brandon, taking a picture of the screen: This moment will go down in history as When Betsy was asked if she was crowning

- Everyone mimicking zoom freezing by starting a sentence and freezing halfway through

- Christian: What new Steven sondheim musical are you excited about Anthony *devilish grin*

Anthony having no idea what Christian is talking about

Christian: Come on Anthony you know the answer. Ugh. The minds of the young. You’re smoking pot now aren’t you??

Christian: We have a lot of fun

- Andrew: I’m trying to get people to pay attention to me

- Christians pretending to be frozen

Cue a lot of yelling: Stephanie BRANDON STEPHANIE

NO CHRISTIAN

Everyone accusing each other of being frozen

NO YOURE FROZEN

- Andrew: Let’s all act like we’re frozen

Steph: I see Andrew acting like hes frozen

Betsy: Watching you do that is killing me

- Listening to the cast recording for the first time together

Stephanie: Why was I the a-hole that couldn’t be there???

Christian: That’s a question only you can answer

- Betsys husband came in everyones like BETSY LOOK OUT

Christian: that scared the shit out of me

- What is marvins last name and what was his line of work

Christian: we definitely said it at some point right? (They didnt) but he was in advertising. What was the last name? Gardens? O’Malley?

- Andrew: Betsys gone oh no

Betsy: I’m right here!!!

Andrew: She’s giving birth (again)

Stephanie: Betsy Wolfe is a ceiling

- Brandon: Welcome back Anthony. You’re here now.

Anthony singing merrily we roll along over Betsy trying to tell a story

Christian: STOP SMOKING POT IN YOUR BEDROOM ANTHONY

- Betsy: Steve (Steven Sondheim) comes to the door I call him steve

Into the woods is the reason Betsy is in theatre

- Betsy: Andrew was nervous singing at the tonys for Book of Mormon and he got dry mouth he sang like 😬I BELIEVE and he licked his lips so much during the song.

Brandon: Did you have a boner then too?

Andrew: GUYS DONT BE DICKS

Stephanie: It’ll be like dry mouth, boner

Andrew: BETSY YOU FUCKIN BITCH ITS ACTUALLY NOT THAT BAD

Stephanie: Bets maybe we should wrap it up

- Brandon sings MARRIAGE PROPOSAL

EVERYONE TELLING HIM TO STOP SINGING I took a video it was beautiful might post that later

- “Tracie Thomas from Lent!”

Tracie having stage fright

Tracie: Billy porter said “oh child we all forget the words” and walked away

- Anthony said WHO SHAT THE BED in four jews once

Anthony: That’s my contribution. Steph got her line, I got who shat the bed

- Steph: We lost andrew oh no

Christian: Um, we lost andrew ten minutes ago. Yeah when Brandon started singing

- Then Betsy sang a song by Bill Finn beautiful

- Steph: Wear your masks and eat pork on wednesdays

That was it!! I hope you enjoyed and people who were there if I got anything wrong that’s my human error it was hard to note everything I wanted to. Smooches! Byee

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originalhybridloverfics · 4 years

Text

Eda’s Robot, Serkan’s Fairy Girl - CH 7 - Shattered Hearts

Summary: Eda is not feel well and collapses. The ArtLife Team witnesses Serkan having a break down over Eda.

Eda watched the hot liquid pour into a cup. It was strange being here when she and Serkan were no longer together. However, Art-Life was having some renovations done at the office, and Serkan and Efe decided that they would work from the Bolat property.

Everywhere she turned, there were memories of her and Serkan and the time they spent together. The sweet moments they shared.

Her heart clenched as she remembered them cooking together right where she was standing, his arms wrapped around her.

Eda jumped when she felt something pressing against her legs, she looked down to see Sirius pressing against her, tilting his head back, practically begging for her attention.

Eda smiled and knelt behind the counter. “Hey Sirius,” Eda scratched behind his ears and through his fur. “Did you miss me? I’ve missed you too,” She leaned her forehead against his head with an affectionate smile.

Serkan had secluded himself away from the others, working from inside his home at his desk. He couldn’t help but keep Eda in his sights at all times so when she suddenly wasn’t there he was on his feet in an instant, walking out to join the others.

“Where’s Eda?” the tone of his voice was sharp.

Eda pulled away from Sirius, she thought about staying where she was. Why should Serkan care where she was? It was no longer his business what she did.

“She was just here a moment ago,” Layla answered, clutching a folder to her chest. “Should I go and look for her Mr. Serkan?”

Eda sighed and stood up. “There’s no need. I haven’t gone anywhere.”

Eda placed her hand on her stomach as it churned painfully. She breathed out slowly willing the feeling away.

She much preferred making Serkan wonder where she went but she didn’t want Layla to go looking for her when she was right there.

She met Serkan gaze across the space that separated them, watching the way he swallowed at the sight of her.

She wanted to yell at him, he was looking at her like her presence was the only thing that mattered to him. He had no right to look at her that way.

She hated it. He was sending out so many mixed signals.

He claimed he ended things because work was his priority but then why was he focusing on her every chance he got when he should be working.

Eda looked away from him, grabbing her cup she walked back around the counter and retook her seat with the others, reaching for a folder.

Serkan watched her for a moment. The space between them was physically and emotionally exhausting when all he wanted was to take her in his arms and stay like that for as long as possible.

A whine rumbled nearby and he looked down to Sirius who was now sitting at his feet, staring up at him with distressed eyes. Like he could feel the emotions Serkan was trying his hardest not to show. “C’mon, boy,” Serkan led Sirius away from everyone returning to his work station and watching Eda through the glass.

~*~ ~*~ ~*~

Eda ran her hand through her hair. Her head was pounding and the voices of the others while not overly loud wasn’t helping. She looked over her shoulder, meeting Serkan’s gaze through the glass.

He didn’t even look like he was attempting to focus on work, his eyes refused to look away from her.

Just knowing he was there and couldn’t keep his eyes from her made her heart hurt on top of everything else.

She could not deal with all this today, her head throbbed, and her stomach kept turning unpleasantly.

She rubbed at her stomach, trying to will her discomfort away but it was not working. She stood, excusing herself from the others, and walked away, needing a moment to herself.

Serkan watched her go, fighting the urge to follow her. She didn’t want him near and he had to respect her wishes. After all, he was the one to create the distance that stood between them now.

Eda walked down the path toward the garden, she allowed the sight of the flowers and nature to calm her. Her stomach twisted and she leaned forward from the pain, a wave of heat took her, and she placed another hand to her temple feeling faint. She tried to breathe through it but it didn’t help.

~*~ ~*~ ~*~

Sirius’s head snapped up and he let out a distressed wine before taking off.

Serkan having never seen Sirius act in such a way took off after the dog. He followed the sounds of Sirius’s mad barking. The closer he got the louder the barks became the harder Serkan’s heart beat in his chest, feeling like it was slamming against his ribcage.

“Sirius! Sirius!” When Serkan broke through the foliage in the garden his heart dropped into his stomach.

Sirius barked loudly before lowering his head and headbutted Eda’s cheek, trying to wake her.

Eda did not move or respond in any way.

Sirius let out a desperate wine and barked louder and more frequently.

It was enough to knock some sense into Serkan. he ran forward, dropping to Eda’s side, his knees hitting the ground roughly. “Eda!” his hands moved over her searching for an injury.

There was none that he could see. He cupped her face gently in his hands. “Eda? Eda, wake up. Honey, wake up.”

Eda laid unmoving, her breaths slow and steady. Still, it did nothing to reassure Serkan.

“SEYFI! SEYFI!!!”

Serkan’s scream pierced through the air harshly, the desperation and panic ringing clear.

Seyfi started following the sound of Serkan’s shouts and Sirius barks.

Everyone feeling alarmed ran behind Seyfi were thrown by what they saw.

Serkan was on the ground, Eda pulled into his lap, he had his fingers pressing against her pulse, while he tried to curl himself around her in an attempt to comfort her.

“Eda, c’mon, wake up!” his breathing was coming quickly. “Seyfi!” his head snapped up and he looked right at him with desperation in his eyes. “Call an ambulance! NOW!”

Seyfi jumped and in his haste to call dropped his phone to the ground with a clatter.

“Call for help, Seyfi!!” Serkan shouted.

“Okay, okay,” Seyfi picked up his phone quickly and dialed for help.

Engin walked forward and placed his hand on Serkan’s shoulder. “It will be okay, brother.”

Serkan shook him off and pulled Eda more into his lap, sweeping her long hair away from her face. “Eda, please, Eda.” he hunched forward, whispering into her hair, leaning his forehead against hers. “Wake up, my life, wake up. Please. I can’t breathe without you.”

The others looked on alarmed, having never seen Serkan express such emotion before.

Peril took a step forward. “Serk-”

Engin grabbed her hand and shook his head. He believed if Serkan shook him off, it was best not to approach him.

The ArtLife Team looked on helplessly as Serkan broke in front of them.

Serkan continued to stroke Eda’s hair back, his hands shaking with fear. “Eda, please. Don’t do this. Open your eyes, my love.”

It felt like hours but in reality, it was ten minutes later that the ambulance had arrived and Serkan couldn’t bring himself to let go of Eda, not even for the paramedics.

“Serkan,” Aydan said and gently laid her hand on his back. “Serkan, you have to let them see her. It’s the only way she can get the help she needs.”

Serkan wasn’t sure when his mother had gotten there but her voice cut through everything else, her words registering.

Reluctantly he released Eda and stepped back as the paramedics took his place.

He watched, fear clouding everything, tears streaming down his face, he hunched forward, feeling like he couldn’t breathe but unable to look away.

Sirius pressed against his legs, whining.

“Breathe, Serkan.”Aydan coached.

The concern coming from her made Serkan feel more off-kilter. No one should be concerning themselves with him right now. All that should matter was Eda.

“Sir, what is your relationship to the patient?” The paramedic asked as he and his partner transferred Eda onto a stretcher.

“I’m her husband,” Serkan answered without hesitation. “If you’re taking her to the hospital I’m coming with.”

“You can follow in your car behind us,” the paramedic said as they loaded Eda into the ambulance.

“I’m riding with her,” Serkan climbed into the back alongside Eda, leaving the paramedics no room to argue.

He took her hand in his and held onto it tightly.

When they reached the hospital he had to force himself to let her go only able to do so knowing she would get the help she needed.

It felt like forever as he paced the waiting room before a nurse came out and escorted him to a private room. He was relieved to see Eda was awake and talking with the doctor.

“Mr. Bolat,” the doctor turned to him. “Your wife should make a full recovery with a little rest. It appears she is under a large amount of stress that caused her to feel sick. I recommend she take it easy for the next few days.

Serkan’s shoulder’s slump in relief. “I’ll make sure she gets all the rest she needs.”

As soon as the doctor and nurse were gone Serkan looked toward Eda, she was looking at him with wide eyes. “What is it?”

“Why do they think we’re married?” Eda’s eyes were wide.

“Because I told them I was your husband,” Serkan admitted, forcing himself to look away from her.

“Why?” Eda asked. “Why would you tell them that?”

Serkan looked back at her, his vulnerability shining through. “Because I wanted to be at your side. I panicked and all I could think about was that I needed to stay with you.”

“You broke up with me because I wasn’t enough, why is it different now?” Eda sat up more.

“Eda, I never said you weren’t enough. You are more than enough. It was never you that was the problem.”

Eda sighed. “Serkan, I am too tired for your games and I do not want to fight, can you lea-”

“No games, no fights.” Serkan stepped forward. “I know you don’t want to see me or talk to me but please, let me stay by your side until your fully recovered. I need to know you’re going to be okay. I need to see it with my own eyes.”

His pleas struck a chord within Eda, her resolve to keep him away from her weakening.

“Please,” Serkan said, pleading.

Eda locked eyes with him. It was rare for him to say please and the look on his face, like he was afraid to hope, scared she would reject him was impossible to ignore.

She thought only she had been hurt by their breakup but it appeared, he was just as broken as she was.

Two people with shattered hearts, trying to hold the broken pieces together good enough to keep going.

Slowly Eda extended her hand to him, Serkan laced their fingers together, their rings standing out next to each other.

Serkan could not help himself, leaning forward he placed a kiss against her temple.

Eda closed her eyes, allowing herself to give in to what she felt for him for the moment. When she was better things would return to how they were before.

Their hearts separated but for now, they were together.

And right now that was enough.

#Fic: Eda's robot Serkan's fairy girl #sen çal kapımı #Edser #edser fic #eda x serkan #eda yıldız #serkan bolat #fanfic

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wtfdavidsvlogs · 4 years

Note

Can I just get one big vlog squad imagine where reader is having a rough day and the squad makes them feel better maybe a party imagine or something similar

Sure girl hear ya are

Cause you had a bad day (V.S)

Warnings: pov being yelled at, drinking, swearing, angst, fluff

“It’s already 6:30, and you had all day to make these look amazing. These spreadsheets look like shit. You’re lazy, worthless, and obviously incompetent. Get your shit together and come back when you get your head out of your ass!” His words stung and made me feel like shit. I had been spending almost two weeks of two to three hour over time working on them. I was expecting a good result. Obviously, like always, my hopes are destroyed. He points at the door gesturing for me to leave.

“I’m sorry, sir.” I stood up to leave as tears finally fell from my eyes.

“Y/N,” He said gaining my attention again. I turn and quickly wiped the tears from my face.

“Yes sir?” I said with a quiet voice.

“You can actually just go home early today, and bring your things with you. We won’t be needing you here anymore.” He said without blinking. My mouth falls open and I let out a sob. I turn and leave his office quickly. I cover my mouth as I quickly speed walk to my desk to quickly get my things. People were already staring at me like I was insane. I tried to keep my eyes on what I was doing. It was hard when you could hear them talking about me five feet away from me as if I couldn’t hear them. I stood up infuriation the only emotion in mind.

“Cassandra, you have no fucking right to be talking about me when we all know that you don’t mind putting out for Hammond. Nick, you best keep your mouth shut before I whip my fucking phone at your thick head, you fake judgmental prick. And Angela, do you want to leave so that you’ll be spared or would you rather I bake your life, as well?” I stood there as all of their faces were etched with disgust and disbelief. I turn back around and grab the box I had with me full of my things. They all silently go back to work and I walk out of the office. I adjust my shirt and press the elevator button. I rotate my shoulder in order to raise the loosened, pesky strap. I groan with more frustration. I finally step into the elevator and press 1. The doors suddenly start to close slowly. I was carried down and put on the first floor. I exited the building and I was on the streets of downtown LA at night. Without any warning a semi truck comes down the streets and runs over the curb filled with the previous days rain water. I, thank God, was slashed head to toe in the filthy water. I gasp at the temperature. I was in shock that my day had already gone this badly. I went to sit on the bench as I felt more tears prick my eyes, this time more so from embarrassment. I take out my phone from my purse but to no avail, it was dead and there was not a single charger in sight. I hadn’t memorized any of their numbers so I couldn’t call them even if I did have access to a phone. So I just start walking. The drive was about fifteen minutes so I should be home in like two and a half maybe three hours tops.

I had been walking for about ten minutes until I saw a rambunctious little French Bulldog. I smiled at it and he started barking and getting all up in my business. It’s owner was desperately trying to get a hold of him. The french i’ve grabbed a hold of the fringes of my jeans and started ripping and running. My pant leg shortly was being torn up the side stopping at about my mid thigh. It’s owner finally caught him and deeply apologized. I looked down and about two feet up my leg was this giant strip of my pants gone. I sigh and look at the sky. I blinked as I suddenly felt a droplet of water hit my forehead.

“You are absolutely fucking joking. There is no way it’s raining right now. It started down pouring the very next second. My jaw falls open. It could not get worse than this I thought to myself. I kept trudging. No matter what, I just wanted to see my friends. The rain never let up, it rained for hours. All of my things slowly were being covered in water. It felt like I was going to just keep walking forever. It felt almost therapeutic. I could just gaze off and I didn’t have to focus on the pain I was feeling in my feet already. At this point I was just over half way finished with the trek I was on. I was crossing by a local park when I slipped on the smooth part of the side walk and my knees were the first thing to get impact. Bruised and bleeding I stood up and winced. I walked it off and kept going. The pain throbbing through out my knee like a fire in the dry wilderness. I only had about 45 minutes left of my journey. This is finally the home stretch, I thought. Of course, as it has been proven, I jinxed it. I finally started getting more towards the hills. With living in the hills however, when it rains, mud is your best friend. Mud will be anywhere that you don’t want it exactly when you don’t need it to be there. Like right now. My shoe slipped outward from under me and I fell into grass. Or what I thought was grass. I stood up and viewed what I was laying in. How about a 6 foot wide hole of straight wet nearly black mud? Oh yeah, I’d love to have that cascading down my back. I let out a yell of frustration. Yet, I kept walking. I was only about a half a mile away at this point. I was slow. My feet were dragging my eyes were heavy from crying and my face was droopy. My hair and clothes were just dripping. My knees were about to give let alone my poor destroyed feet in these overly expensive flats. I had finally reached David’s gate. I put in the code to open it and I immediately closed it. I trudge up to the door and rest my head on it as I knocked on the glass. I suddenly see Natalie stand up and walk towards the door. She looks up and see me standing there looking the way I do. She lets out a scream until she finally sees who I am. She quickly opens the door. I feel the warmth of an actual home again. I could finally discard these horrendous shoes. The rest of them had also stood up and were just staring at me. Without saying a word, I set my destroyed little box on the ground. I walk over to the kitchen to grab a red bull. I close the fridge as I cracked it open and took a couple of sips. I look back at all of them.

“Wanna tell us what the fuck happened to you, doll?” Jeff said before anybody.

“I was fired from my job. I screamed at three of my coworkers in front of 75+ people. I was hit with runoff water by a semi. I had to walk three hours to get back here cause I had no phone. I had my pants ripped by the cutest dog I’ve ever fucking seen. Then it started raining, more like down pouring nonstop. I scraped and bruised both of my knees. I fell into a huge thing of mud. My shoes are fucked. I’m sore, I’m upset and all I wanna do is shower and hang out with you guys for the night if that’s okay.” I said tears threatening to spill for the sixtieth time. My eyes were hurting at this point.

“Why didn’t you call one of us? We would have gotten you.” Zane said.

“Phone was dead and I didn’t have a charger or money to buy one.” I replied. “I just want to have a good night with you guys tonight is that okay? It’s literally all I have wanted since I left today.” They all nodded and I walked to the main bathroom. I finally turned on the hot water and discarded my clothes. The sopping wet dirty clothes that had been clinging to my skin making me freezing for hours. I stepped into the stream of hot water and sighed as relief overcame my body. The dirt running off of me, my body feeling warm. I spent 20 minutes in there.

“Nat, do you mind if I borrow some clothes I have nothing with me right now.” I yelled not fully opening the door and exposing myself. She came back five minutes later with a crop top and sweats. I threw my hair up and finally stepped out of the bathroom. Everyone there smiling at me. Zane and David moves so that I’d have a spot on the couch.

“Thank you.” I said quietly sitting down. I laid my head back and sighed at the relief from my feet finally not being in use.

“If you don’t mind me asking, Y/N. Why were you fired?” Jason asked.

“It seems like it was about these spreadsheet I was supposed to finish and have organized correctly but like always something was off. You know what, Hammond is a God Damn bully! After everything I have done for him and to protect his company from tanking, I should be the fucking CEO at this point! That motherfucker spends 20% of the company’s monthly earnings on drugs, alcohol, and strippers for his monthly ‘conference calls’ with other heads of the different branches. All of them are rich, scummy, lazy, entitled pieces of human fucking waste! The spreadsheets that I had spent my personal work time and nearly 15 hours of my overtime all for him to scream in my face that I’m lazy, worthless, and incompetent and then firing me. I am one of the best employees he has had in 20 years. I was being worked like a dog for days and weeks on end. All while being completely alone in the office due to the judgmental assholes that would eat shit straight out of Hammonds ass if it meant they kept their job.” I yelled about everything. Every part of working in that hell hole of a job. All of them shaking their head listening to the crude and annoying behavior of my old boss.

“I just don’t know what the fuck I’m gonna do now, you know. I have to make house and car payments in a couple days and my last check will not even remotely be enough to cover it.” I said rubbing my head.

“Don’t you worry your pretty little head about that part of things. I got you covered.” David said to me.

“David. No. I can’t take money from you.” I said not wanting to have to ultimately need to pay him back at some point.

“Y/N. You are our friend, I will take care of you for however long you need until you can start working again. No question.” David said holding my shoulders and looking me directly in the eye. I closed my eyes, reluctantly accepting his offer. “Perfect now that that is settled. I want to drink and Y/N I know for a fact you do too after your day honey.” Todd said with Zane backing him up. A smile comes to my face.

“Fuck yes.”

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youralternantpersonality · 4 years

Text

Eternal Love

Paul x Reader: Eternal Love.

Part 1: Eternal Love

Part 2: Everlasting Love

Part 3: Endless Love

Part 4: Enduring Love

***

Darkness. All I see is darkness…I’m calm yet scared. I don’t understand what’s going on. I am in the forest in La Push, walking aimlessly. Not heading anywhere. I want to go home but I also like it here. I feel…at peace. I look over and I see a never-ending path of trees. What makes it eerie is that there’s no animals, no background noise, even when I get close enough to the dirt, no worms, ants, spiders, anything. I feel like I’ve been stuck here for almost an hour or so. And after some time, I realize something…where’s my dog?

“Snout! Snout! Where are you?” I yell and start looking around. I hear a bark in the distance and run towards it.

“Snout! Baby, come here!” I hear more barking and I run towards that direction. Something seems familiar about this. I just can’t figure out what it was.

Paul’s POV

Five days. That’s how long it’s been since the good doctor Cullen has told me that the love of my life, the only reason I even exist, the one who would calm me yet irritate me out of love, The One; gone. At least, not completely. She’s in a vegetable state—can’t move willingly, can’t hear, smell, taste anything. Hooked up to a machine that is keeping her on this earth. I haven’t moved from this spot by her bed unless I have to shower and eat (demands by Emily).

As I sit here, looking at my beautiful Y/n, bruises along her left side of her body, a cast that covers her arm, hip, and legs, bandages wrapped around her head, I can’t help but cry nonexistent tears. I have cried all of what I had left over the past few days. I can remember everything that happened so clearly. Regret consumed me, so much so, that Dr. Cullen was gracious enough to fix the damages in the bathroom attached to her room when I smashed my fist into the mirror, and he got her, her suite in the hospital.

I fucked up. Everyone tried to make me feel better, but deep down, we all know what I did was what put her in this situation. Which is why I begged, no pleaded, even bargained with the Good Doctor to change her. He wanted to help, but because of the treaty….

“…I cannot Paul. The treaty states…”

“Fuck the treaty! She’s the love of my life! I can’t lose her! I may have fucked up and caused this, but I can’t let her go! Please!” I pleaded outside of his home. His wife, Esme, came next to me and hugged me as I fell to the ground. I didn’t care if she was eerie rock solid or cold as ice, I just needed my Y/n/n back.

As I am looking at her currently, caressing her little finger that is hanging outside her cast, I think back to how we met.

At the Beach: September 2nd, 2018;

There was a birthday party at the beach and, like what anyone would expect from us, the guys and I crashed it. It seemed boring until we, I, showed up. The host was too tipsy to give a crap and was just happy to see more people. I was flirting, per usual, with some lovely girls when the host calls out a name. And what made me respond was the voice and fragrance that came with it.

“What hoe!” a laugh followed afterward. The wind blew a sweet fragrance, pomegranate mango with an orange-like citrus smell to it. I turned my head at the right time to see Y/n. I couldn’t take my eyes off her as she walked towards who I found out later to be Angela—one of Bella’s old friends. She went up to hug her and Y/n looked around. That’s where our eyes came in contact. Everything else around me disappeared and I didn’t care for anyone or anything around me. I slowly made my way up to her and she just smiles as I do so.

“Hello, beautiful. I don’t think I’ve seen you around here. I’m Paul, what’s your name?” I smile, not one of my flirty smiles, a genuine smile. It’s weird, I never wanted to imprint EVER in my life, but over time, it didn’t seem too bad. And now, I’m not complaining.

“Hmm, you seem dangerous.” A cheeky smile is placed on her face, she looks me up and down and turns her body towards me.

“I’m Y/n, but people call me Y/n/n.” I smile and shake her hand. Both of our eyes widen at the electricity flow, the magnetic force pulling us to one another, and this cloud 9 effect that is taking over. I look down at her and smile.

“Hmm, you seem like you’re about to ruin my life,” I said jokingly. She smiles and laughs.

“I guess we’re a match huh?”

“I guess we are. So, tell me about yourself.” And from then on, we were together.

But it seems like life wanted to make a full circle.

Current Day: August 30th, 2020

“Paul, the council is still debating. I know this is hard, but please, at least for Emily, go home and get some rest.” Sam said. Normally, I’d take alphas orders, but this time, I can’t. I shake my head and head towards the bathroom. I brush past him and Jake and just stand there behind the door. I look at myself in the mirror and can see emotional and physical damage.

I’ve lost weight, I have deep dark circles around my eyes, my eyes itself is bloodshot red. My skin is sickly pale, not it’s normal “golden glow honey brown sugar” skin that my little raven called it. I laugh at that memory. She was whimsical, mysterious, and protective like a raven. Her secret personality was as big as one too. She called you in naturally by her beauty—inner and outer beauty.

At Paul’s house: November 2018

We were laying on the couch relaxing before I had to go on patrol. She was reading a book with her legs planted in my lap, I was deep engrossed to the video game I was playing when suddenly, I feel a pair of eyes on me.

“Make a video to remember this moment then replay it when you miss me.” I smile and look over at her. All I could see is her big y/e/c eyes staring back at me. One eyebrow raised and her book was covering the bottom half of her face.

“You know,” she says sitting up, putting down the book, “it’s not fair how clear and bright your skin is. You have this…this golden glow…with, like, honey brown sugar swirled in it. You suck.” She says pouting. I pause the game, lean over to her, and place most of my weight on her while kissing her neck. She squeals underneath me and starts laughing. I smile and kiss her softly while poking my nose into her cheek.

“I love every bit of you, my love. You may see flaws, but with my heightened eyesight, I can see little freckles kissed all along your face. Matter of fact, let me show you where.” Then I proceeded to kiss all over her face. She laughs uncontrollably.

“But you don’t have the curse of hyperpigmentation! You see freckles, I see never-ending scars.” I hate it when she gets like this. It hurts me, to see the love of my life feel as if she has to be something different to even be next to me.

“Baby, stop,” I said calmly, I learned quickly that I would have to control my tone around her. She can read me like a book and because her emotions can get the best of her, yelling could end in two ways. One, she’ll fight back—she’s all bark and bites—so no one messes with her for a while when she’s at that point. Or two, she starts tearing up and holds back tears. Not for manipulation reasons that most girls do, but for the fact that she intakes certain emotions and she has no control over hers.

“I know you may feel that way, and you have to remember, I did too. You know, I was human like you before my wolfy sense’s kicked in.” I smile as she smiles back. “Just know my love, I don’t see anything wrong with you. I could never.” I place my forehead on hers. “I love you too much to worry about things like that.” I kiss her. She looks at me and says,

“So, if you didn’t love me, you’d notice it?” I look at her with a blank face, roll my eyes, and just roll off the couch. I can feel her watching me.

“Well…”

“You know, you’re a little shit, right?” I say with my hands covering my face. She lays on top of me and says,

“But you love me, remember.”

“Oh my god…” I just squeeze her to me and laugh along with her.

Current Day: August 30th, 2020

I step back out into the room where Dr. Cullen and Sam are waiting for me. I stop and look at them.

“The council decided…” Sam said, I looked up with hopeful eyes…

“They will agree to it, if…” Carlisle started.

“If what?” I say, taking a step forward.

“If she leaves until she can handle being around humans. And…” Sam began,

“She can’t go back to La Push,” Carlisle said. I replayed what they said…. she can change but can’t come back until she’s able to be around humans, but she can’t come back to La Push. I nod my head.

“How long does it usually take for your kind to get better at being around humans?” I ask quietly. Carlisle looked at Sam with guilt and answered.

“It depends on the person's restraint. Within their first year, their blood still runs in their body, so blood lust, especially from humans, is out of control. After a year, it gets better. Although, with our diet, it’s harder but not impossible.”

“But how long in total?” I asked anxiously. He looked at me with genuine sad eyes.

“Up to three years or so.” He said with sorrow in my eyes. For once in the few days I’ve been here, a new emotion that I haven’t touched came out. Rage.

“Three years! I can’t go that long without her! I’m coming with you.” I said to Carlisle. Sam looked at him for an answer. This is the first time I’ve seen him rely on his answers on another person’s answer.

“You can, but there’s no guarantee of anything. Her body may or may not accept the venom. She may or may not remember you. She may have anger towards you about what happened if she remembers what happens. Anything could happen Paul. Is it worth the risk?” without hesitation, I answered.

“Yes.” Sam nodded his head and gave me the okay. Even if he wouldn’t have, I still would have followed them. He knows just as much as anyone that separating imprints from one another is a death sentence.

“We leave tonight. Edward and I will take her to Alaska with some friends of ours. I will administrate the change there. Because you are in no condition to shift, we plan on flying. Medical services will meet us there with her. We have paperwork stating that they are her closes family since she doesn’t have one.” I nodded my head and took a deep breath.

“Thank you. I know this is a reach, but can I ask for one favor.”

“Of course.”

“Can you freeze her eggs.” They looked at me confused and with shock. So, I explained,

“We’ve always talked about having children. She’s always wanted children of her own and to adopt some. I know she wouldn’t care too much about it, but I also know that would make her happy.” I begged the doctor. He sighed and nodded.

“it shouldn’t be a problem, since she’s already under my friends name as family, Eleazar would be okay with it.” I nod my head and look back at my angel.

“Emily, Kim, and Clair will be up here in a few. Go home and rest for tonight Paul. I promise, she’ll be okay. If she’s going to have the procedure, you need to be ready for when it’s over and to head out.” I didn’t argue this time. I walked over to her and kiss her head.

“Don’t leave me, my love. I’ll be here waiting for you. Always.”

My Love (for the series)

Masterlist

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im-fairly-whitty · 5 years

Text

The Witcher Wolf 2: Geralt’s POV

It’s been two weeks since Geralt drove Jaskier away from him on that mountain top and Geralt’s been doing his best not to think about it by accepting every contract he comes across. But when a job goes badly he find himself cursed into the form of an injured wolf and is then saved by none other than Jaskier himself, who has no idea that the animal he’s taken under his wing is his own witcher.

Geralt must now try to alert Jaskier to his real situation and adjust to his new life traveling with the bard, learning several hard but very much needed lessons along the way.

[Read Jaskier’s POV] [Read Geralt’s POV Chapter 1/2]

Chapter 2/2

The sun was streaming through the windows of their inn room and Jaskier was still sound asleep, even as the late morning warmth made Geralt downright uncomfortable at still being indoors this late.

Staying in bed past dawn was not a luxury that frequently arose in the life of a witcher, usually only happening when Geralt was terribly injured. Not even winters spent at Kaer Morhen were enough to keep him in bed late, he was always up and moving before the cock crowed, finding himself scaling the fortress walls for chilly morning exercise or even just browsing the library to brush up on hunting knowledge.

But after a week of traveling with Jaskier as a wolf Geralt had now spent a week of mornings not leaving the inn room until the sun was well in the sky. He’d always known Jaskier was less than pleased to be roused early every morning when they traveled together, but hadn’t ever realized just how different the man’s real sleeping habits were when he was alone.

Geralt nosed at Jaskier’s hand yet again in a quiet effort to rouse him, but the bard simply rolled over, tangling himself even further in the sheets. Not even Geralt restlessly jumping onto and off of the bed several times in the last hour had shifted Jaskier, who seemed perfectly content to lay sprawled across the mattress until evening, wasting away the entire day in messy haired sleep until it was time to perform for the evening crowd again.

Geralt padded over to the window, rearing up onto his back legs to get his front paws on the window sill, looking out over the bustling morning marketplace outside. It felt like it was mocking him, a whole town of people with tasks and chores and jobs going about their days. All with responsibilities that had them out of bed and moving, with hands to actually do them with too.

And maybe that was what was really getting on Geralt’s nerves. Not the fact that Jaskier wasn’t awake yet, not even the fact that he was still cooped up indoors...

...but the fact that even if Geralt were to get out there was nothing for him to do.

If he were his normal self there’d be no problem with him leaving Jaskier to sleep in while he went off to replenish his ingredient stock in the market, check notice boards for work, or even go after a contract and return later that night covered in gore and richer in coin. There was always something for a Witcher to be doing. If there wasn’t that meant it was time for Geralt to move to the next town, Jaskier always following behind.

But now, for the first time in his unnaturally long life, there was truly nothing for Geralt to do. No contracts to take. No possessions to replenish or sharpen. Not even Roach to go out and groom.

He had nothing.

And he was starting to feel an awful lot like nothing too.

I am a witcher. His age old mantra, the stubborn phrase that had gotten him through everything, had worn thin awfully fast without anything remotely witchery left of him. But if he wasn’t a Witcher then what was he? Anything that even mattered?

Geralt shook himself with a whine that shifted to a light growl as he stalked over to the bed, grabbing Jaskier’s sleeve and tugging on it hard.

Jaskier groaned, shifting his face into the pillow. “Too early.” he muttered.

Geralt growled in earnest now, grabbing more sleeve in his teeth and pulling Jaskier off the bed with one yank. The bard fell to the floor with a yelp, startling awake with wide eyes and tousled hair.

“Well alright then, I’m up, you don’t have to yell.” Jaskier yawned, looking annoyed. “What’s wrong with you today anyway?”

Geralt looked away, maintaining his low growl.

“So grumpy.” Jaskier said, getting to his feet and stretching. “Well I suppose if I’m up already we can get something to eat and head down to the market.” He dropped back to sit on the mattress and started fumbling with a pair of pants, still blinking sleep from his eyes. “We’ve gotten plenty of coin and now that it’s obvious you’re planning on hanging around I want my belt back. Let’s get you a real collar today, what do you think about that?”

Geralt stopped his growling, letting out a low huff instead as he trotted to the door, pawing at it impatiently to signal his answer. At first wearing a collar had felt awkward and degrading, but that had been before Geralt had realized that in fact it was his ticket to safety.

As a person he relied on his armor and medallion to tell people important things for everyone’s safety: I am a Witcher. I am dangerous but reliable. I am to be left alone. As a wolf he had to send far different messages: I am tame. I am safe to be around. I belong to someone. And as foolish as it sometimes felt, Geralt wasn’t too stupid to realize the social power and protection the teal floral printed belt around his neck had given him. It was an armor all its own.

But the thought of getting one that wasn’t actually part of Jaskier’s wardrobe was still exciting him far more than it should have, probably because this was the first thing that had happened for him in a week, and he found himself nearly desperate to get going.

He huffed at himself, ears flicking back in annoyance. How far had he really fallen to be whining and prancing in place at the prospect of running an errand for himself?

Jaskier only laughed at his clear impatience, but did pick up his pace a bit. By the time the two of them found their way into the crowded marketplace Geralt felt like he was going to burst with impatience as Jaskier leisurely made his way from stall to stall, looking over the wares of different merchants. Geralt could smell the leather worker’s stall all the way at the end of the street, why didn’t Jaskier hurry up and take him there already?

“-yes, collars. Something big enough for my dog?” He heard Jaskier say.

Geralt trotted back to his side as a merchant pulled a box out from under his table.

“Well you’ve got quite a pet there friend,” the merchant said, looking Geralt over with an impressed look. “But I think I’ve got a few in here that’ll fit even him, take a look.”

Jaskier started pulling out collars and setting them on the tabletop. Several of brown leather, several that looked too short. One ridiculously ornate one that wasn’t even leather at all, but woven out of stiff colored threads in patterns of flowers.

Geralt’s ears pricked forward as Jaskier set a last one on the table. It was wide and thick, made of black leather with silver studs punched into it. It looked so much like Geralt’s old witcher armor that he started whining, nosing at it. This one, get me this one.

“Hang on Geralt, don’t chew on any of these, I don’t want to end up buying them all.” Jaskier said, pushing Geralt’s snout away.

Geralt growled, shoving past Jaskier’s hand as he pawed at the studded collar again. This. One. Get it. He could smell Jaskier’s frustration at him but he didn’t care. This was supposed to be about him.

“I expect he likes the smell of the leather.” The merchant chuckled. “He’d look right fearsome in that one though, it would suit a beast like him.”

“That’s exactly why I’m not getting that one.” Jaskier said easily, pushing Geralt away from it again and picking up the studded collar. Geralt could smell the bard’s scent sharpen. “He’s a companion, not a hunting dog, he needs to look the part he’s playing. Any bard worth their salt knows the importance of costume.”

Geralt barely heard what Jaskier said, only seeing him pick up the woven collar instead as he dropped the studded one back into the box. Geralt’s ears pinned back and he let out a frustrated growling bark, wishing he could push Jaskier aside like usual to just do it himself, or at least give him a piece of his mind.

But instead Geralt startled as Jaskier spun on him, looking him directly in the eyes with a simmering expression he’d never ever directed at Geralt before. His sharp scent, that was anger coming off of the bard.

“Stop.” Jaskier commanded, his voice laced with enough angry finality that Geralt actually felt his tail tuck a bit between his legs.

The bard’s voice wasn’t heated, in fact it was icy cold. His scent went from sharp to something a step more painful. It was so intense that it almost felt like Jaskier was really seeing him, but he’d never talked to Geralt like this when he was a person.

“New rule.” Jaskier said, his voice chillingly even, not breaking eye contact for a moment. “Unless you’re in pain or I’m in danger there’s going to be absolutely no growling at me. I’ve gotten a lifetime's worth of that from your namesake thank you very much, and I refuse to take any more of it.”

Geralt was silent, he would have been speechless even if he’d been capable of speaking.

He’d seen Jaskier pick fights with insult tossing peasants before, had seen him charge into a brawl with nothing but a glass bottle to defend himself, had even seen him square up with generals and sorceresses and monsters far more powerful than him over the years when the situation called for it.

But he’d never seen this side of Jaskier. Because the scent of anger coming off the bard was no match for the scent of emotional pain that overpowered it.

...I was stupid enough to hang around him for years...

...he bit far more than you do my friend. With words I mean...

...I mean he was always insulting me…

And with that Jaskier turned back to the merchant, leaning against the table with an easy smile as he began haggling over the price of the woven collar. Geralt sat silently at his feet, his mind replaying what Jaskier had told his wolf self in confidence over the past week about his witcher self.

Being around Jaskier as a wolf had of course already revealed to Geralt just how out of line he’d been when he’d chased the bard off three weeks ago, but had Jaskier really hated his normal day-to-day growling that much all these years? Geralt knew he wasn’t the easiest person to be around by a long shot, but Jaskier had never seemed to mind. He’d always just smiled and shook his head whenever Geralt had resorted to sharp single word answers and angry grunting instead of longer wordy phrases.

Geralt wasn’t always like that. Especially around Jaskier, who was the only person who regularly cajoled him into real full length conversations as they traveled the continent together. But even when he was more talkative Geralt had never shied away from loosing the brunt of his frustrations or bad moods on Jaskier. Just like he had with his poor mood today. Just like...

...if life could give me one blessing it would be to take you off my hands...

Ah.

Geralt hated feeling guilt, but this felt far worse than anything he’d felt in years. Because Jaskier had minded how flippantly Geralt had treated him sometimes, minded terribly in fact, but had hid it from him. Or perhaps Geralt had never wanted to notice, had always had the luxury of pushing past Jaskier and onto his own plans like he’d tried with the collars.

But now Geralt could only sit and wait as the bard handled things for him, left to silently review every growl, every snapped reply, every unfair accusation his brain could dredge up from the last twenty two years that had been aimed at Jaskier.

Above him Jaskier was of course as patient and sunny as ever as he settled on a price with the merchant, even as the scent of pain still ebbed from him. The same scent he’d gotten the times he’d confided to Geralt without realizing who he was really talking to.

Geralt knew by now just how badly he’d hurt Jaskier by not reciprocating his affection and by verbally attacking him on the mountain, but it was a new kind of pain to realize that the bard might have been hurting their entire friendship.

There was a shaking of hands and an exchanging of coin above and then the merchant took the box, heading to the back of his stall. Jaskier turned to Geralt with a smile, getting down on one knee as he unlatched the old belt collar and slipped on the new one.

“Here we are.” Jaskier said, adjusting the new collar—which did feel like a much more comfortable fit than the belt had—around Geralt’s neck. “You do look handsome, any lord would be glad to have you curled up in front of their fireplace by their side, you magnificent thing.”

Geralt looked at the ground, not wanting to meet Jaskier’s eyes. Jaskier’s smile dropped, replaced with a concerned look.

“I'm sorry I snapped at you.” He said quietly, petting his head. “You have been difficult today but you didn’t deserve that. You’re not the one I’m really upset at, I’ll make it up to you with a treat when we get back to the inn, alright?”

Except Geralt was the one who deserved it. But continuing to sulk would only worry Jaskier more, so instead he wagged his tail, pushing his head up against Jaskier’s chest in what little apology he could manage in this state. If he ever regained the ability to speak that’s what he would say first, a real apology for everything.

“There’s a good boy.” Jaskier chuckled, scruffing his hands through the thick fur of Geralt’s neck. “A good handsome boy. You’re going to be quite the heart stealer with that new collar of yours, you just wait.”

Geralt leaned up against Jaskier as he stood, doing his best to be as non growly as possible as they went on their way through the marketplace.

It was going to take a bit of extra effort to not resort to growling and snapping and snarling, but Geralt was already determined to keep Jaskier’s new rule. After all, it’s not as if he had any other challenges to keep him busy. And besides, making sure Jaskier felt only appreciated was long overdue.

***

Geralt had been a wolf for an entire month now and he’d learned many things about Jaskier, but he’d also learned things about life. Some admittedly more useful than others.

He’d learned that all animals from chickens to cattle had a subtle language all their own that people just didn’t catch, a language he still didn’t understand fully but that he was getting better at everyday. He’d learned that most humans could be charmed by a wagging tail and a pretty collar faster than even Jaskier could manage. He’d even learned that there was a certain delectable smell that could only be gotten from rolling in garbage, but he was fairly sure that the virtue of that particular realization was heavily dependent on him being a wolf.

But perhaps the most important thing he’d learned was that humans didn’t watch what they said at all when they thought there were only animals around to hear them.

“Talented bard they’ve got tonight.”

Geralt’s ear flicked toward the three men who were leaning against the outside of the tavern as he snuffled through the long grass, tracking a mouse he’d smelled in the evening air. Over the weeks Jaskier had become far more relaxed with how close he kept Geralt, meaning that Geralt was allowed to wander as he pleased as long as he kept out of trouble. It was a small freedom that had made life far more enjoyable, not the least of which being because Geralt could eavesdrop on unwitting humans even more easily than he had as a witcher.

“He’s got a pretty enough voice,” said one of the other men. Geralt could tell the three men were watching him but continued his snuffling. “Been making quite a name for himself with that white wolf, just look at him. Tame as anything and as eye catching as they come. Saw some kids playing with him earlier, no wonder he’s getting his master a reputation.”

“I bet the bard’s purse is even prettier than his face.” The third man mused. “He sure dresses well enough. Bet that dog would fetch a pretty price too if he could be convinced to part with him.”

Geralt’s eyes narrowed as the men all chuckled, an ugly sound.

“I heard he’s staying at the Golden Swallow.” The second man said. “Wouldn’t take much to pay him a visit late tonight, have a chat and see if he’s willing to part ways with some of his finer things. I reckon the three of us would have pretty good chances against one bard, don’t you think?”

Geralt kept himself as outwardly calm as possible, even as a sticky hot protectiveness trickled down his spine.

“What about the wolf?” the first man asked. “I don’t fancy a tussle with something that big if it gets upset.”

“It’s not a wolf, it’s an overgrown lapdog.” the second scoffed, unfolding his arms. “He’s tame as anything, probably wouldn’t even notice it’s changed masters. Look, I’ll show you. Hey, here boy!”

Geralt let himself look up as the man called to him, snapping his fingers and smiling.

If Geralt were still a witcher he would have made short work of these men, bluntly confronting them with enough blade to get them to abandon their plans at best, making sure they’d never harm anyone again at worst. Although he doubted they would have let themselves speak so carelessly around a witcher in the first place.

As a wolf though...as a wolf Geralt found himself wanting to try seeing what would happen if he handled this entirely differently. Because they were not going to lay a single finger on his Jaskier, that much he knew.

“Pspsps, here boy, come here you big brute.” The man said, calling to him in a high pitched sing-song voice.

Geralt pricked his ears and bounded forward toward the men, panting in a charade of canine happiness. The man laughed as he bent down to pet him.

“See? Tame as anything. He’s just a big stupid beast, aren’t you?” he crooned, scratching behind Geralt’s ears.

Geralt made a show of enjoying the affection as the other men petted him as well, but this close to the men he could now see for certain that none of them were carrying weapons. Their mistake.

“Why don’t I take him home now and we take care of the bard later?” The first man suggested, his dirty fingers curling around Geralt’s collar. “That way we don’t have to worry about dragging him out of the inn and barking while we slit his master’s throat.”

It took every ounce of Geralt’s willpower not to snarl, but he kept it back, well practiced after a month of quietly tempering his fouler moods.

“Not a bad idea.” The third man nodded. “That way we can even have some fun with the bard too. He’s real pleasant to look at, would be a shame to waste it so fast.”

The men all laughed. The fingers on Geralt’s collar loosened.

Perfect.

Geralt silently lunged up at the first man, jaws snapping shut on the bandit’s throat and ripping before he even had time to finish his laugh, instead collapsing to the dirt with a hollow moan and glassy eyes as blood pooled around him.

Without missing a beat Geralt lept at the third man, feeling his adrenaline pounding as he knocked the bandit to the ground. The man’s eyes widening in horror as he tried to cover his face in still dawning shock. Geralt had never fought anything larger than rabbits as a wolf, but the sticky hot iron taste of the blood in his mouth was the same and his witcher killing instincts certainly hadn’t gone anywhere.

It was messy and hot and fast, but before the second man—the ringleader—had time to even properly stumble back his second fallen comrade was twitching in the dirt with a gurgling shriek.

“What, what-” the ringleader stuttered, looking at his two dead friends in shock. Men who had been standing and laughing and plotting an innocent man’s death only moments before.

Geralt looked up at the man, panting happily again knowing what a chilling sight it made him as blood dripped from his open mouth.

“Y-you, you heard us, didn’t you?” The bandit said hollowly, Geralt could hear his racing heart and the cloying scent of fear flowing off him.

Geralt knew by now that he couldn’t properly nod his head, but he dipped his head up and down in his best imitation as he smiled his canine grin, eyes squinted with grim satisfaction to see the bandit’s face pale even further.

“You’re no wolf.” The bandit gasped, stumbling back desperately, eyes wide as his hands scrabbled in the weeds for anything he could use as a weapon. “You’re cursed. What are you?”

Geralt huffed at the irony. Maybe it would be worth letting the villain live just on the off chance he’d let Jaskier in on the secret.

“We were just joking.” The bandit said hurriedly. “We weren’t really going to do anything to your master, we weren’t really going to kill him, honest! Leave me be, I’ll do him no harm, I swear it!”

Even if Geralt hadn’t smell the bald-faced lie on the bandit his sharp eyes spotted the man’s hand close around a discarded bar of iron in the weeds. The man’s face twisted in a snarl of his own as he swung the metal at Geralt’s head.

It was over almost before it began, Geralt lunged and the metal clattering out of the bandit’s limp fingers as he collapsed under the wolf’s attack. Geralt panted heavily as he stood in the alleyway, now alone with three bodies that would never kill anyone again. More importantly, who would never kill Jaskier.

Geralt whined, trying to scent the air for Jaskier but not smelling much over the cloying iron scent of the blood covering his snout. A cold feeling swept through him as he realized he wasn’t out of danger yet. As a Witcher he could get away with slaughtering murderous bandits, but if the townspeople found three men dead of dog bites and spotted a wolf covered in gore he knew there was only one way for that particular story to end.

Geralt latched onto the ringleader’s collar, yanking at it to drag the body down the alley toward the canal that ran through the town. It took some doing but after a minute or two the corpse was tumbled into the murky water, quickly joined by the bandit’s two other friends.

Geralt huffed as he trotted to a nearby horse trough, doing his best to rinse the worst of the blood from his face and paws but having no way of seeing how successful he was. He shook himself to get the excess water off, spooking a rabbit from the weeds. His ears pricked up as an idea occurred to him and he took off after it.

***

“Geralt, look at you, you mighty hunter. Finally returning from your evening of fun I see.” Jaskier said, shaking his head in amusement as he let Geralt into their inn room. “But really, did you catch that rabbit in a lake? You’re a damp mess. I swear you’ve been getting enough to eat, but perhaps not if you’re still hunting?”

Geralt wagged his tail as he dropped the rabbit at his feet, just happy to see his bard safe and sound, a now familiar warm loving feeling rushing through him.

He wished he could tell Jaskier what had happened. He wished he could tell him how he’d felt, angry and protective. He wished he could pull Jaskier into a hug just to reassure himself that no one else was going to touch him.

But he couldn’t. He hadn’t before and he couldn’t now that he felt like he was bursting with words and emotions that he couldn’t express them even if he wanted to.

Probably because he had no choice.

And he did very much want to.

“Well we’ll make sure to get you more to eat if you need it.” Jaskier said with a smile, fetching a towel and kneeling to rub Geralt down with it, paying special attention to cleaning his face. “You’ll get us kicked out of inns if you make a habit of showing up late and wet with rabbit blood on your snout you know.”

Geralt shook his newly dried fur, pushing his face against Jaskier, making the bard laugh and hug his neck.

“I love you too, you ridiculous thing.” Jaskier said warmly, kissing his head.

Geralt whined, several emotions fighting uselessly in him. Useless since he had no way to show them.

“Well I’m back to sleep if you care to join me.” Jaskier said with a yawn, setting aside the towel and collapsing back onto the mattress, having apparently already been asleep when Geralt had come scratching at the door.

Geralt lept up onto the bed without hesitation, curling up against Jaskier and resting his head on the bard’s chest.

“Good boy.” Jaskier said, eyes already closed as he ran his fingers through Geralt’s fur, drifting off to sleep almost immediately.

Geralt watched him sleep, thinking of all the things he would say if he could. All the things that he likely had permanently missed out on ever saying.

Because Jaskier was never going to figure out Geralt’s curse on his own, that much had become clear over the last month. The only thing Geralt had been able to think of was if Yennifer somehow came across the bard, surely she’d at least recognize Geralt as cursed if not recognizing him as Geralt.

But he knew too much about curses to be naive enough to suppose that even Yennifer would be able to break it even if she knew about it. Curses were tricky, stubborn things. Their cures were always cryptic hidden clues tied to their beginnings, if they even had a cure at all.

With Geralt unable to even tell Yen who had cursed him or how she wouldn’t even have a place to start, leaving him a wolf forever.

Geralt whined softly, shifting closer to Jaskier as his gaze flicked up, toward the locked door that no bandits would be coming through tonight.

Well at least he was spending his new life the best way he could imagine, at Jaskier’s side, protecting him even if he didn’t know it. Even if Geralt wished it were different, there was no place he’d rather be.

***

“Geralt, if you don’t bring the stick back to me I can’t throw it for you.”

Geralt bounded right past Jaskier, happily carrying his stick in his mouth as he dashed back and forth across the dirt road the two of them were traveling down. The warm afternoon sun warmed the fur on his back as he pranced through weeds, investigating intriguing smells as he came across them.

Geralt had no idea where they were going that day, and he had no idea when they were going to get there, and that was perfectly fine. Because he and Jaskier were together and that was more than enough. Although his new stick certainly helped.

He bounded back to the bard, letting him wrestle the stick from his mouth after a few playful tugs, and then took off after it again when Jaskier threw it for him.

Two months ago Geralt would never have believed that his life could be so simple, and he never would have believed that the uncomplicated joy of traveling with his best friend could have satisfied him so easily. And yet, here they were. Long mornings spent curled up next to Jaskier in bed, effortless afternoons traveling or strolling markets, joyful evenings sitting at the bard’s side while he performed, and then nights of listening attentively to whatever crossed Jaskier’s mind as the two of them lounged in front of a fire.

Geralt of course missed plenty of things about being a witcher, for one his list of things he wished he could tell Jaskier was always growing, but as time had gone on he’d decided that perhaps this fate wasn’t entirely terrible after all.

Geralt’s ears pricked up as the sound and scent of horses approaching, a lot of them. He emerged from the tall grasses at the side of the road to see a horse merchant’s caravan passing them on the road. His eyes widened as a particular smell reached him from the group, a painfully familiar one coming from a glossy chestnut mare with a stripe down her face.

Geralt let out a bark of surprise and the mare looked up, her ears twitching toward him. When she saw him she let out a sharp whinny of recognition that jolted him into action. His stick dropped to the ground forgotten as he rushed up to Roach, yelping and whining in excitement.

It was Roach.

The roadside exploded into chaos around him, spooked horses yanking at their leads and trying to skitter away from him, the horse merchant shouting, Jaskier yelling at him too as his hand grabbed his collar. But Geralt was single minded in his focus as he hauled Jaskier forward toward Roach, whining desperately as his horse put up a fit of her own trying to tug away from her lead toward him.

Then suddenly Jaskier’s grip faltered. “...Roach?” he said, voice sounding dry.

Geralt looked up at Jaskier, whining and barking. It’s her, it’s my horse, do something please!

“Where did you get that horse?” Jaskier demanded of the horse merchant, letting go of Geralt’s collar.

Geralt dashed up to Roach with the bard close behind, filled with gratitude that Jaskier had caught on so quickly. Geralt danced around Roach’s feet, yelping in canine excitement as the horse dipped her head to nose at him affectionately. She’d seen him turned into a wolf, of course she knew it was him.

In the excitement Geralt missed most of what the humans were doing but it sounded like Jaskier was in a full shouting match with the horse merchant.

“-she’s coming with me now as well as anything else you stole from back where you found her.” Jaskier said angrily. “And believe me, I’ll know if you try to keep any of it back.”

Geralt whined in gratitude, pressing against Jaskier’s legs as he untied Roach from the caravan. The bard had no reason to be doing this, not after thinking his last interaction with Geralt had been that disaster back on the mountain. Jaskier had every right to look the other way and wish Geralt’s apparent disappearance good riddance, but instead he was going out of his way to get his horse and things back for him. Geralt didn’t deserve this kindness at all.

Two of the horse merchant’s boys dumped armloads of all too familiar things at their feet and Geralt nearly stumbled as the scent of his own witcher belongings rushed over him. The dusty leather scent of his armor, still spattered in grime. The sharp varied smells of his alchemy bag. And of course the constant smell of steel and silver as Jaskier pulled his two swords out of the pile of things.

It felt almost as if Geralt were waking from a dream, memories of a past life weaving their way back to him. He felt an aching longing for it, wishing desperately for his old body again, wishing to be a witcher again so he could take up all his things and his life.

“These were all at the camp?” Jaskier asked sharply, looking through the pile as if he were taking stock of every item. Geralt could smell anger and distress flowing off the bard.

“They were, strewn about in a right mess too.” The merchant said, looking eager to get all this over with and gone.

“The medallion.” Jaskier demanded horsley, looking up from a saddlebag. “Where’s the silver wolf medallion?”

Geralt whined softly as he realized what why Jaskier smelled so distraught. Geralt would never have voluntarily left all his belongings and Roach behind, Jaskier must think that his witcher was dead.

One of the boys handed over Geralt’s old silver medallion to Jaskier, who took it stiffly, his scent spiking from anger to shock and grief. Geralt had never ever smelled Jaskier this sad before and it twisted at his gut, the now familiar feeling of guilt eating at him. Because of course this was all his fault and he couldn’t stand Jaskier being hurt by him again, especially when it was all a terrible misunderstanding.

Geralt nosed at the medallion in Jaskier’s hand, whining. I’m not dead! I’m still here with you, don’t be sad!

Jaskier silently handed the merchant some coin and the caravan left as quickly as it came, leaving the bard the wolf and the horse alone on the dusty road with all of Geralt's earthly possessions piled in front of them. It felt like some kind of surreal dream Geralt couldn’t manage to wake up from, a dream that turned toward a nightmare as Jaskier collapsed to his knees, breaking into rough sobs as tears ran freely down his face.

No no no. Geralt pressed against Jaskier as close as he could get. Don’t cry! None of this is your fault! I’m not dead! If only he could talk, all of this could be solved in an instant. Jaskier hugged Geralt tightly, burying his face in his fur as he continued to sob. Geralt settled heavily across the bard’s lap, being as present and comforting as he knew how. He idly wondered how he might have dealt with a crying bard before all this. Would he have stood awkwardly by? Would he have tried to comfort him at all or been too concerned with his own discomfort at such a strong display of emotions?

It took a long time for Jaskier’s tears to ease a bit.

“He’s, he’s gone.” Jaskier hiccuped, opening his hand to look at the medallion in his hand. “I mean...I k-know I already lost him...b-but not like this.”

Geralt whined quietly, pressing his head against Jaskier’s shoulder bracingly. You haven’t lost me. I’m not gone, I wish I could make you understand.

“Why did that have to be the last time I saw him...” Jaskier said quietly, burying his face in Geralt’s fur. “Why did it have to end like that? I really believed I would see him again. What am I going to do now?” He looked up as Roach nudged his shoulder, the horse clearly confused by Jaskier’s grief.

“Oh Roach, I’m so sorry. You probably saw it actually happen, you poor thing.” Jaskier said, getting to his feet and rubbing her cheek, easing off the rough rope bridle from the merchant. “I know he didn’t like me much by the end, but I hope it’s alright if you stick with me. I promise I’ll keep you brushed and well fed, no monster hunting, but I’ll take good care of you.”

Geralt was nearly whining in frustration at not being able to talk, unable to pull Jaskier into a reassuring hug, unable to thank him for everything he was doing. All he could do was stay right by the man’s side as he set about slowly saddling Roach and packing up all of Geralt’s witcher things with practiced care, sadness still dripping off him. Sadness Geralt desperately needed to wipe away.

Jaskier finished packing up Roach and stood back, pulling Geralt’s old medallion out of his pocket and staring at it. Geralt looked up attentively as Jaskier got down on one knee in front of him.

“I need you to hold onto this for me alright?” Jaskier said quietly. “Keep it safe while we travel.”

Geralt sat very still in agreement, nearly reverent as the bard gave him back his own medallion.

But the instant the metal chain passed over his nose Geralt could feel something changing, a quivering electric rush that crept over him as the chain passed over his head. He distantly felt the weight of the medallion hit his chest as a flash of light sent him stumbling to his feet, but an instant later his vision cleared, leaving him staring at his his own two very human hands.

Geralt’s eyes widened in surprised shock as he looked himself over, his complete witcher self back to normal. The medallion had broken the curse!

Barely an instant had passed and Geralt’s witcher reflexes alerted him to Jaskier’s cry of alarm, still stumbling back from the flash of light that had evidently blinded him. Geralt caught the bard before he fell back, pulling him into a tight hug that had two months’ worth of gratitude and relief and love piled into it.

“Unhand me!” Jaskier yelped in surprise, still blinking to get his sight back as he struggled in Geralt’s grip. “Let me-”

“I’m sorry Jaskier.” Geralt said quietly in Jaskier’s ear, his voice feeling rusty after not using it for so many weeks, but still full of emotion at finally, finally being able to apologize.

Jaskier looked up at him, eyes widening in stunned recognition as he finally saw who was holding him.

“G-Geralt?”

***

“You really didn’t mind the collar? I should have picked that black leather one you wanted, that’s why you were so huffy about it, I’m sorry I didn’t-”

“I’m glad you didn’t.” Geralt said, setting another log on the campfire.

He stood, walking barefoot to where Jaskier was sitting perched on his bedroll. Geralt was wearing his loosest shirt and pants, unable to bear wearing socks and shoes yet after only a few hours as a person again. But at least he’d managed to pitch camp like usual with only minimal fumbling. Jaskier was still watching Geralt with a look of fond disbelief that hadn’t left him since that afternoon, as if he were still convinced he were about to wake from a dream.

Geralt sat on the bedroll, gently pulling the bard into his lap. Jaskier smiled, reaching up to hold Geralt’s face as if he were trying to memorize him.

“I didn’t need a collar that looked like my old armor,” Geralt said, wrapping his arms around Jaskier’s waist. “I needed the flower one, you were right to choose it. You don’t have to keep apologizing for anything, you did everything exactly right. It’s like what you said about actors having the right costume.”

“You’re going to have to be patient with me,” Jaskier chuckled, shaking his head. “It’s going to take me at least a few days to adjust to the reality of a Geralt who remembers things I’ve said weeks ago. All of this is quite a shock.”

“You’ve never been anything but patient with me.” Geralt said, taking one of Jaskier’s hands and kissing his palm. “I owe you all the patience you want a hundred times over.”

“See? This is exactly what I mean, you’re using words Geralt, about your feelings no less.” Jaskier teased with a smile, playing with the chain of Geralt’s medallion. “If I hadn’t seen you sharpening your silver sword just now I’d think I had a good natured doppler on my hands. Say, a doppler could change into a wolf couldn’t it? That would certainly make all of this make more sense. I don’t think I’ve heard of a mage turning people into wolves before, he must have been an odd bird.”

“I don’t think he was a mage.” Geralt said, watching Jaskier idly turn the medallion over in his hands as the bard rested his head against his chest. Curling up against him as a wolf had been good, but this was so much better. “I’d bet good coin there was something fae in his blood, whatever he was. They’re the kind to be as unhinged and, well, creative as he was.”

“There was so much compliment in that insult I can hardly decide whether or not to be offended.”

Geralt was on his feet in an adrenaline jolting instant, pushing Jaskier behind him and grabbing his freshly sharpened silver sword from where it lay nearby.

On the other side of their camp stood the teal and orange clad man Geralt had gone up against months ago, watching them idly, as if slightly bored.

“What do you want?” Geralt asked, voice as level as his sword. He already knew that riling the man could result in an attack he wouldn’t be able to parry, but with Jaskier at risk he couldn’t quite bring himself to lower his sword as he cast a simple protective Quen shield around the two of them. “We’ve done you no harm, leave us in peace.”

“Oh do calm yourself.” The man drawled. “I felt my curse end and I came to see whether you’d finally died in a ditch somewhere. Wolf teeth make fine ingredients you know, waste not want not and all that.”

“Geralt, he’s the one who turned you into a wolf?” Jaskier asked, pushing past him.

“Jaskier, don’t-”

“What kind of sick bastard are you anyway?” Jaskier snapped at the sorcerer, folding his arms. “Turning people to wolves, talking of harvesting their teeth for gods’ sakes. Walking around in such a disaster of an outfit as that too. I’ve half a mind to break my lute over your head, haven’t you got anything better to do than turn people into animals against their will?”

Geralt braced himself for the attack or curse that was sure to follow, but instead hesitated as the sorcerer only laughed.

“You’ve got spirit.” The man said with an easy grin. “Have you any interest in joining my collection?”

“I should think not, whatever the hell that’s supposed to mean.” Jaskier said hotly. “Now leave us be, we solved your stupid curse by finding the medallion so the show’s over. Go back to whatever hole you crawled out of.”

“Jaskier...” Geralt warned quietly, on edge at how many insults were being flung at the very powerful magic user. But neither of them paid him any attention.

“Medallion?” The man asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Geralt’s witcher medallion.” Jaskier said impatiently, motioning to the medallion in question. “The key to lifting your curse? We put it back on him and he became a person again?”

“Oh, it wasn’t the medallion that did it. Not really.” The man said dismissively. “Although that would have been a much more interesting key had I thought of it at the time.”

“How do you mean?” Jaskier asked, looking as surprised as Geralt felt.

“I’m afraid my curse was far more basic than that.” The sorcerer said, looking them over, his bored expression back. “It was broken by your fool of a witcher caring for someone who cared for him back as much as I cared for my poor Truskawka, may she rest in peace. I’d assumed such a violent brute would never find a cure like that.”

“Shows what you know.” Jaskier said, really starting to scare Geralt with how cocky the bard sounded. Or at least Geralt might have felt frightened if it weren’t so endearing.

“Well if you’re going to be so stubborn about it then fine, we’ll say the medallion was the cure all along and that it was my idea from the start.” the sorcerer said, nodding his head. “Still, do be careful where you take it off and on though, or I’ll get those wolf teeth yet.”

And with no further ceremony the man winked out of sight. There one moment and then gone the next. Vanished as quickly as he’d come.

“Hang on!” Jaskier spluttered. “Come back! What’s that meant to mean? Get back here and explain yourself!”

“Jaskier if you keep shouting at him you’re going to end up cursed into a lark or some nonsense.” Geralt said, lowering his sword and pulling Jaskier back.

“You heard what he said!” Jaskier said hotly, looking up at him. To Geralt’s dismay there were the beginnings of tears in the bard’s eyes. “You’re not really uncursed after all! What if he did that just because I brought the idea to his mind? What if it’s my fault that-”

Geralt silenced him with a kiss, gently taking hold of Jaskier’s arm until he settled.

“I don’t think that was something new he added just now,” Geralt said gently, still marveling at being able to use words to comfort Jaskier. “I expect it was already there without us knowing and he just has a flare for drama. Like you.”

“Don’t compare me with that thing!” Jaskier huffed. “If you’re still cursed then-”

“It’s not much of a curse when I’m with you.” Geralt said.

“You’re telling me you didn’t mind being a wolf?” Jaskier said skeptically.

“I’m telling you that we already know how to fix it.” Geralt said, holding his medallion and looking at the innocently glinting sliver surface. “I never take it off anyway, it won’t make much of a difference to me if I’ll be a wolf again without it.”

“You really didn’t mind it that much?” Jaskier asked, his mouth quirking into a smile. “Because you were with me?”

“I’ve never been able to enjoy life as simply as I did when I was only your wolf, it might be nice to revisit sometimes.” Geralt said. “As long as you were willing to look out for me again and keep the medallion safe for me I don’t think I’d mind at all.”

“As long as you do realize I’m not going to give you a bit of slack for misbehaving as a wolf now that I know it’s really you.” Jaskier teased. His eyes widened. “Hang on, you chewed apart one of my favorite boots last month! Geralt, that was expensive leather! Was there a dangerous snake inside it or something?”

“Ah…yes. Definitely. Had to protect you from the, uh, the snake.” Geralt lied, keeping his face as unguilty as possible, remembering how bored he’d been after two days without much exercise and Jaskier’s boots lying beside him on the floor. “I promise I’ll buy you a new pair as soon as I’ve taken a few contracts.”

“Well, I suppose that’s alright then, as long as you don’t do it again.” Jaskier said. He looked at the medallion at Geralt’s chest, eying it a bit warily. “So…do you want to test it?”

“No, not tonight. I’m still adjusting to having two legs again.” Geralt said with a yawn. He pulled Jaskier into a hug, nuzzling at his neck. “And besides, I like being the one to hold you for a change.”

“Well, I certainly won’t argue with that.” Jaskier said, kissing Geralt’s forehead. “I’m still going to write that song though, although I might have to be a bit more careful with the details now that I know the story isn’t ended yet.”

“I’d say it’s only just begun.” Geralt said, smiling at Jaskier’s delighted yelp as he swept the bard up into his arms to carry him back to their campfire.

----------

I don't have anything else specifically in mind for the witcher wolf series, but if you have an idea you're itching to see realized or discussed (during the time Geralt is cursed or even after they figure out the medallion's trick) feel free to drop me an ask I just might take the bait.

Thank you so much for reading! <3

- Wit

#the witcher #geralt #jaskier #geraskier #wit writes #it is finished #yee haw

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gashinabts · 5 years

Text

Why we broke up (m)

Words: 4k

Paring: Jungkook x Reader

Genre: Angst, Fluff, kinda smut

Summary: “And I really wanted to see you again, talk to you again, be with you again. But if you don’t ever want to see me again then I’ll leave as if I never existed but can I please hold a little longer?”

Warning: Mature language, Implied sex, heavy petting

a/n: this is my first fic I was kinda hesitant to post it but here it is.. I really wanted to write a part 2 to do more explanation on how they broke up...but lets see how this one goes :() lol there might be a shit ton of grammar mistakes but please show me support !!!

Part 2

“Fuck—,” the pounding of Jungkook’s head was in radiating pain to the point where he couldn’t bear to open his eyes. Thinking to himself he shouldn’t have drank more than five soju bottles last night. If his head was in this much pain he couldn’t possibly imagine what his liver was going through.

Finally opening his eyes after a painstakingly minute he noticed two things: one, he is not in his bedroom and two he is naked. It wouldn’t be the first time he woke up in a stranger’s room. As he looked to the left of the bed there lies a naked woman.

He should get out before she notices, he hurriedly searches his clothes and puts them on, he notices a mirror in the women's room. God, how he hated the red blotchy marks that were littered around his neck.

Jungkook pats himself on the back when he successfully exits her house, he drives off in his car at a ridiculous speed, not because of the woman but because Eunwoo might be worried sick for him.

“Eunwoo!”, Jungkook yells while entering his house. “Daddy’s home, come over!”, the Shiba Inu runs over to Jungkook. “Sorry I’m really late for our morning run. I’ll make it up to you by taking you to the park then you can pee on every tree there is out there, sounds like a deal?”, Eunwoo barks out a response of agreement.

The change of scenery was nice for Jungkook there where a lot of people at the park filled with children’s laughter and screaming, the scent of grass that spring provided, it was indeed nice for him. Eunwoo takes the deal with Jungkook very seriously and is marking his territory on a big tree near the playground. He decides to look away from the dog to give him privacy.

Then time stills, everything is silent yet loud, when he spots you. Your surrounded by small children and your laughing while blowing bubbles in the air as they try to pop each one. It was breathtaking watching you in your yellow sundress and just being happy.

Jungkook can’t stop staring it was like the gods were playing a trick on him and he couldn’t tell if it was real.

Then you looked up to see him, Jungkook, big brown eyes staring into your eyes. He looks different, not that much but you can see that he matured well. You haven’t seen him in ten years surely features of him could’ve changed but no he still has those beautiful youthful doe eyes.

Jungkook quickly turns his gaze from you. “ Oh my god, Eunwoo what do I do! Maybe she didn’t see me,” he doesn’t know why he was lying to himself and why he was talking to his dog, as if Eunwoo would give him advice.

“Jungkook! Hey!, ” you rapidly walked towards him and you were still holding the bubble wand. You were gonna go for hug but then you stopped yourself, you couldn’t do that, things were different between you two.

“Y/N”, that’s all he said, why was he such an idiot he was thinking to himself he could’ve at least said ‘ hey Y/N’ or ‘what have you been up to’.

You just smiled brightly at him at his awkward stature. “ Jungkook we don’t have to be awkward with each other. I just wanted to say hi to you and see what’s up...While I’m here I wanted to congratulate you on your new song you produce that hit the charts, I really enjoyed it.” He looked intently into your eyes and now it was your turn to glance away with a shy smile.

Jungkook couldn’t believe that he was witnessing your smiles and your praises, after all the pain he caused you.

“ Thank you Y/N, that really means a lot to me. And it wasn’t all me, Yoongi helped me on some parts of the song ”, he returns a grateful smile towards you.

You hum in acknowledgement, “...Is that so, I knew I could her some Suga vibes into it.” He chuckles at your statement and then he feels a tug on the leash.

Eunwoo comes close to you and tries to rub against your legs. You gasp, and squat down, “ A Shiba Inu, my favorite! Aren’t you a cute one!”you caress it generously while speaking in a high tone.Millions of things were going on in Jungkook’s mind and that didn’t go well with the hangover he was having.

“Mommy!! I was looking for you!! I wanted you to see me finish the monkey bars ”, a child’s voice interrupts Jungkook’s thoughts. He watches as the child’s small hands grabbed onto your sundress, clinging onto to it. The child looks up at Jungkook’s tall figure and quickly decides to hide behind you.You smile to yourself grabbing your baby’s soft hands from behind you and bringing him towards the front of you. “ Baby, this person right in front of us, was a very very special person to me. His name is Jeon Jungkook. Now go on and introduce yourself like I taught you.” Your child nods shyly at you while he turns his full attention to Jungkook, “ Hello, Mr. Jungkook! My name is Eunwoo and I am five years old “, Eunwoo gave a small bow. You caress his hair while praising him a small good job.

The situation was all too fast for Jungkook, meeting you, and you having a child name Eunwoo. Of course you would have a child, you wanting a child was part of the reason you guys broke up. He felt like an asshole realizing that he named his dog the same name as your son, it was the name you confessed to him that if you were to ever have a child with him that it would be Eunwoo.

“Mommy, look!! Mr. Jungkook has a doggy!!,” you look at your son as he pets it energetically. “ I know isn’t he cute, Eunwoo? Jungkook what’s his name?”, you look up to Jungkook, while he scratches the back of his neck, why does he look so frantic.

“Umm—his name is...”, quick think of something Jungkook, “Tree! His name is Tree!” Eunwoo immediately starts to giggle, “ That’s a funny name.” You start to laugh alongside agreeing with Eunwoo. Jungkook sighs in relief and feels sorry that he renamed his dog the most dumbest dog name.

“ Mr. Jungkook…,” Eunwoo gets Jungkook’s attention and he nods for continuation. “Why do you have a lot of ant bites on your neck? You should put medicine on it, Mommy has special medicine at home.” You decide to see what Eunwoo is talking about and squint to look at Jungkook’s neck...oh those aren’t ant bites those are love bites, you couldn’t help but feel a pang of pain in your heart. You used to give Jungkook bites like that, when you wanted to just to claim him over and over again while riding him slowly. You shouldn’t be feeling this emotion you guys been over for ten years, you have to get a grip.

Jungkook hastily put his hand over his neck and was shocked that Eunwoo blatantly pointed but of course he didn’t know what hickies were. He observes your face and he couldn’t help but feel guilt when he saw how your once happy face was in pain. But how you quickly transformed it into a smile when Eunwoo begged you to get the medicine for Mr. Jungkook.

“...Y/N, I’m sor—,” you quickly interrupted him, “ Eunwoo it’s okay, Jungkook has own special medicine at his house too”, you hold your baby’s hand while swinging it a bit.

Why was he gonna apologize, it’s not like you guys are lovers anymore. You should be happy that he has found someone to love and take care of him. You should get going, you’ve been at the park for over an hour, you brush your dress down to get rid of any wrinkles and stare at Jungkook. You wait for him to say anything but the dead silence was too uncomfortable for you.

“ Well I should get going, it was nice seeing you Jungkook,” as you make small wave and smile warmly at him. Eunwoo gives tree a small pat and waves Jungkook a goodbye.

“ It was nice seeing you too, you look happy,” he gives a small response and a genuine smile. You look at him one last time, since it wouldn’t hurt you, and walk with your son towards your car. He continuously hums to a beat of a song that sounds familiar and then you feel a tug on your other wrist, forcing you to turn backwards. You look surprised to see Jungkook holding your wrist and breathing heavily.

“ —Wait Y/N, I wanted to see if you wanted to catch up, like for reals. Maybe go out for lunch or something? I know it’s stupid of me to ask for that, and you have every right to say no,” you don’t know what to say, your heart has been through enough yet it still flutters when he asked this question. You still feel his warm hand on your wrist and you gently take it off with your other hand. Eunwoo enters the car and buckles his car seat.

“ I’m sorry Jungkook but I’m quite busy,” you let out a small excuse. Well it wasn’t a lie you were busy with things which includes projects from work and Eunwoo’s birthday party. He looks a little disappointed but quickly gives a small smile and a nod.

It was ironic on how he was watching as you leave, when ten years ago he was the one that left.

He tugs Tree’s leash and starts to walk home.“ You know I’m sorry I renamed you Tree. Why was I such an idiot, it’s been ten years and now I finally have the audacity to try to ‘ catch up’ with her. God, I’m such a prick,” he’s getting odd stares from people since he’s talking to his dog but he doesn’t care.

Once he’s back home he gives Tree his dinner and takes a hot shower, vigorously trying to scrub his body. Once he’s done dressing in his pajamas he contemplates whether to look over the lyrics Namjoon sent him or to just call it a day. He decides to grab his headphones in his drawers and notices his old phone. The phone had so many precious memories, in the past, he decided to not transfer any old photos to his new phone. He wanted to start on a new page with his life, even if it meant erasing you. Jungkook pulls out the phone, presses the power button, and unlocks his phone. He goes to the photo app and looks for pictures of containing you, he continues to memorize every picture of your ethereal face. It makes him smile and laugh when your doing funny faces towards the camera.

“Oh—shit,” this particular picture made him flustered, his cock in your mouth looking up towards the camera, it was truly sinful. Then there was a video of you on all fours, his cock stretching you out. That night you begged him to fuck you like a slut and he nearly came four times. He feels a little stiff in his sweatpants, but it didn’t feel right for Jungkook to play the video so he quickly exit the app. He remembers that he muted your messages so you wouldn’t see the notifications from you and never bothered to read them, he presses onto your conversation, and notices an abundance of messages appear. He furrowed his brows in concentration and reads the messages dated from five years ago.

[Y/N] Taehyung came over to pick up ur stuff, do you really not want to see me?

[Y/N] How are you these days? Have you been eating well?

[Y/N] Happy Birthday best wishes to you :)!!

[Y/N] I went to the coffee shop and habitually order two coffees one with extra sugar and milk. Silly me. I couldn’t help but think of you wondering if drinking too much coffee.

[Y/N] congratulations on the award! You guys deserve it.

[Y/N] I’m so glad that you guys have an extended break!!! Get some good rest and fun time.

[Y/N] heyyy ur active on Xbox live, wanna play?

[Y/N] the moon was so bright today, I couldn’t help but think of you. You know the story you told me, that when you were young your mom would read you the book on how there was a family of bunnies on the moon. And for the longest you thought it was real, sometimes I wish it was real so it would make you happy.

[Y/N] i miss you

[Y/N] Hey, are you okay? I heard from the news that BTS disbanded.

[Y/N] I heard ur song on the radio!! It was so wonderful hearing ur voice again. I’m glad that ur still making music.

[Y/N] I saw you at the sushi place, I wanted to say hi to you but you looked happy with ur date. I’m happy that ur happy, I know that sounds cliche but I really mean it Jungkook.

[Y/N] My therapist said it wasn’t good for me to keep on texting you all these years. No worries I’m improving my health :)). So this is my last message to you, I’m sorry for texting you and being a nuisance when you didn’t want to hear from me. I wish you well, don’t forget to enjoy yourself!

Junkook finishes reading all the text messages and feels solemnly lonely with guilt. How were you always so kind? He goes to sleep that night with you on his mind.

You woke up the next morning in a rush since the alarm didn’t go off. Dropping off Eunwoo at school, you drive to work with desperate need for coffee on your tastebuds. Your secretary gives you your coffee and goes over the appointments you have with clients. You decided to take a break from reviewing the architecture plans. Your mind drifted off to Jungkook, you wondered what he was doing right now, is he having coffee right now too. You let out a small laugh remembering when he would add a lot of sugar to his coffee. God, why did you have to go say hi to him, you’re such an idiot. “ Ms. Y/N, ummm...can you sign this please. Sorry if I interrupted you,” the new intern rambles off, you smile at her and sign the approval plans.

Jungkook has lunch date with Taehyung, who he barely sees anymore due to his filming for a new drama. They are eating their burgers, but Taehyung doesn’t stop texting someone, Jungkook only gets annoyed after the past ten minutes, and snatches his phone. He goes to turn it off but notices your name and his stomach drops to the floor. How long have you guys been in contact, do you guys hang out, questions are firing through his head. He looks at the convo and sees a picture of Eunwoo doing the V sign, and an invitation to his birthday party. Why was Taehyung invited to the party but not him, you told him he was a special person.

“Jungkook...Y/N and I are still really good friends and still keep in contact with each other. Sorry that I was texting her while we were eating but can I please have my phone back?”

“Oh sorry, here. Do you think I can come with you?,” Taehyung gives him a confused stare, “ to Eunwoo’s party I mean…,”

“ Uhh Jungkook, I don’t know if that’s a good idea, you guys didn’t necessarily part on good terms and how do you know who Eunwoo is?,” Taehyung looks even more confused than he looked before.

“ Well I kinda bumped into Y/N the other day and met her son,” he shrugs his shoulders to act nonchalant but really he wanted to go with Taehyung to the party.

“ I can ask her if you can go—,”

“ NO!—I mean don’t please. I’ll promise that I won’t cause any trouble, just please let me go with you?”

“ Fine, okay you can come. But why do you wanna come so badly? You are already saw her the other day, I swear to god Jungkook don’t try anything with Y/N. She’s been through a lot.”

Taehyung puts his phone on silent, and carries on with another topic, explaining the plot of his new drama he is leading. Jungkook tries to focus on the conversation but is wondering what have you been through while he was out of life. He shouldn't be feeling jealous of Taehyung, that he’s still close to you.

That afternoon Jungkook goes to the store and tries to look for a present for Eunwoo, in which he realizes he doesn’t know much about Eunwoo despite him liking Tree. Maybe he should buy him a puppy for him, no I don’t think his mother would be happy with that. Taehyung most definitely knows more about what Eunwoo would like.

[JK] What does Eunwoo like? Im buying a present for him

[Taetae] anything space related and iron man on some occasions

[Taetae] ohhh I forgot and Shiba Inus

[JK] thanks buttface

[Taetae] :((

He feels a warm feeling in his heart, of course he would like Shiba Inus like his mother. Jungkook looks around, and he picks up Shiba Inu plush toy along with a space theme blanket. He wants to buy a whole lot of things for Eunwoo but he decides not to, he is about to leave when he spots the The Bunny on the Moon book, a rush of nostalgia hits him and he decides to buy it for Eunwoo.

It’s Saturday morning, and Eunwoo excitedly jumps on your bed, tugging your sheets, begging you to wake up. “ Mommyyyy, wake up!!! It’s my birthday and I want to start the party already!,” you playfully groan and pull Eunwoo into your arms. “ What? Today is your birthday? But you had one last year, that’s unfair,” you complain while pouting, Eunwoo giggles and you just want to bask in his scent, never letting your baby go. “ Silly Mommy!! We have a birthday every year, that’s why I look bigger today,” you hum in acknowledgment, feeling a little sad that he is growing up too quickly. You tell Eunwoo to take shower while you make breakfast.

The party starts at 1pm and you quickly set up the streamers and pack the goody bags, Eunwoo helps you blow the balloons, while you get dress yourself.

Eunwoo school and neighborhood friends arrive bringing presents of all sorts of sizes, claiming their presents is going to be the best for Eunwoo. He decides to play with his friends in the backyard, your putting all the presents in a pile, then a sudden six rhythm knock comes. You chuckle already knowing who it is, his boxy smile appears when you open the door, and you immediately grabbed him into a hug while burying your face into his neck. “Taehyung, I missed you,” you whispered into his neck, he puts his hands in your hair while saying he misses you too. You pull back about to tell him how his shooting go, but then you see Jungkook behind him holding presents looking at you with wide eyes.

“Oh, umm Jungkook what are you doing here?” You were honestly shocked that he was at your doorstep, you gave a questioning look towards Taehyung. “Y/N, Jungkook wanted to come to the party,” you wanted to ask why but that would sound rude so you invited them both in. Taehyung sprints outside grabbing Eunwoo into a hug and twirling him around. All the other kids asked if he can spin them around too and so he did. You smile to yourself, envisioning Taehyung with his own children.

“ Y/N, this is Taehyung’s present and this one's mine, where do you want me to put it at? ,” Jungkook lifts two different presents up, smiling a bit. “Here I can take it and I’ll put it away. You can hangout with Taehyung outside,” you grab the presents from his hands and start to put them in the gift pile. “ Do you need help with anything?,” you look around to see if anything needs to be done, and you notice some of the streamers fell down from the ceiling. “Actually, can you tape the streamers back up,” he eagerly nods and does the job. You hear knocking at the door and you figure it’s the pizza delivery. “ Baby—shit, I mean Jungkook can you get the door it’s the pizza, the money should be in the living room,” you both look flustered, and you busy yourself by taking the drinks out of the fridge. Why did he have to look so domestic it reminded you of the twenty year old him, it was no wonder why you called him baby.

Jungkook shakily hands over the money and grabs the pizza. When you called him baby he felt oddly content and wanted to hear you call him baby again. He sets the pizza boxes on the kitchen table, while you call in the children to eat. The kitchen is filled with children’s voices and munching on food, while you make conversation with Taehyung and Jungkook. You unconsciously give Jungkook another slice of pizza, knowing he can never get full of eating two slices. He thanks you with his mouth full, and you playfully roll your eyes and tell him to close his mouth.

After all the kids were finished eating pizza, you bring the cake out singing happy birthday while the kids join along, placing right in front of Eunwoo.

Jungkook wonders if he would’ve stayed with you all these years, he could imagine at least four kids, a pet dog, a nice big ring on your finger, and waking every morning with you beside him. Now that he’s in his mid thirties what took him so long that he desperately wanted that future. He awes at you when you place a kiss on Eunwoo telling him to make a wish.

After the candles were blown out and cake was given out, all the children had to leave since it was starting to get dark outside. Unfortunately, that meant his friends couldn’t see him open the presents, Taehyung tells Eunwoo to open his present. Eunwoo screams with joy when he opens an expensive telescope, he hugs Taehyung and kisses his face multiple times in which he happily accepts. His phone starts ringing loudly so he checks the caller ID, it’s a famous movie director and he excuses himself outside.

“ Eunwoo open my present too, a little birdie told me what you liked,” Jungkook smiles at him while handing his presents. He opens the present, his eyes gleams at the penguin astronaut pattern in space blanket and wraps it around himself. And starts giggling when he sees the Shiba Inu plushie and starts hugging it, “Look it’s Tree!!” Jungkook laughs along and rubs Eunwoo’s hair affectionately.

“The Bunny on the Moon,” Eunwoo reads and tilts his head to the side. Your heart stops while you look at Jungkook, why did he had to give something so personal to your son

“ I told your mom that I loved this book, we used to search everywhere for this book. You know she started crying when I told her that when I was young I would cry all the time since there were no bunnies on the moon,” your eyes started to sting and you wanted Jungkook to leave right now, why was he doing this to you. “ Mommy and Mr. Jungkook it’s okay, I’ll find a way to put bunnies on the moon so you guys won’t ever cry again,” he grabs the presents and heads to his room. You wipe your tears quickly and Taehyung enters the house.

“ Well I gotta head out, I have an early set tomorrow morning tell Eunwoo I love him,” you go to hug him telling him to come around the house more often and he accepts the offer as long as you cook him food.

“ Jungkook come on, I still have to drop your ass at.”

“ No it’s fine I’ll take an Uber, I want to help Y/N cleaning the kitchen.”

“ I don’t think...Alright I’ll see you guys later,” he closes the door, leaving you and Jungkook alone. You make your way to the kitchen, throwing away trash, while Jungkook washes the dishes.

“I finally read the messages you sent me years ago after seeing you at the park,” you sharply turn and look at him, you remember sending him text messages but he never responded. It was on some days when you saw him on Tv looking sad, some days when you wanted a friend to talk to, and on some days you just wanted to hear from him. Is that why he’s here because he feels bad for you? “I’m sorry that I didn’t respond, umm... so are you okay...because on the last message you sent me you said you were seeing a therapist,” you kept staring at him saying nothing while he twiddles with his fingers, it goes like this for a minute. You simply turn back and continue with your task, the tension is so thick and Jungkook couldn’t take it.

“Can you please talk to me?”

You turn back around and stare into his eyes, “Okay, why are you here at my son's birthday party? Why did you buy that book for him? Was it funny to you telling him that story on how I used to cry because I cared so much for you? Did you laugh at reading my messages thinking how pitiful I am? Why do you suddenly want to know about my well being? Are you ridiculing me, laughing at me in your head that I am single mother ? That in the past I wanted this with you but you didn't, and you feel bad right now. God, I’m so stupid I shouldn’t have talked to you that day in the park, I was being to greedy to myself, “ your finally expressing the emotions you were burying into yourself all day, your crying and trying to wipe all the tears.

Jungkook looks at you with a pained expression, the questions took him by surprise, your calm composure was gone. He didn’t come here to poke fun at you or pity you, he just wanted to see you again.

You were hysterically crying this is the first time in many years that you were crying this much. Then you feel him pull you into a hug, you try to put your hands against chest gently pushing him off but he held you closer. You gave up, letting your hands warp around him, crying against his chest. You felt warm in his arms and it gave a false sensation that everything is going to be alright.

“ No, I never once laughed at you or felt any pity towards you. I know for a fact that you are a great mother, so strong and caring. I’m sorry that I came to Eunwoo party uninvited and told him the story about that book, I was being insensitive and a dick. And when I read those messages I just felt so miserable that I just let the most wonderful woman in the wide world suffer go. And I really wanted to see you again, talk to you again, be with you again. But if you don’t ever want to see me again then I’ll leave as if I never existed but can I please hold a little longer?” You nod your head and let your cheek rest against his chest, while one of his hand is stroking your back and the other in your hair. You feel all types of emotions, like your mind can’t decide what you should be feeling.

“ You’re always a dick,” you finally say after a few minutes of being in eachothers arms, he pulls back and laughs an ‘I know’. Jungkook cradles your face with his hands and kisses your forehead. You want more of his affection, you want to be swallowed whole by it. The look in his eyes tells you the same, he lifts you by the waist and places you on the table, and he goes between your legs just hugging you. Nuzzing your face in his neck, you put your hands under his shirt memorizing his back muscles. He hear him sigh in content and his strong hands caresses your back gently. It feels nice just touching each other, trying to remember each others bodies. You pull back from him looking deeply into his eyes, you take one of his hands and place it on your bare thigh where the dress has ridden up. His hand massages up and down and you place one of your hands on his face tracing the scar on his cheek, the slope of his nose, and fingers tracing lightly on his bottom lip.

“ Y/N, can I please kiss you ?,” it’s small whisper but you can hear it very loudly, and you nod your head yes. You close your eyes and feel his lips on yours, it’s a gentle kiss, and it’s gone all too soon as he pulls back. “ Can I kiss you again?” You smile and bring your lips on his this time, parting your lips and his tongue slipping inside. Your starting to feel really hot and his hands go under your dress to feel your bare hip, thumbing the edge of your panties. “ Ahh—Jungkook let me take your shirt off,” you whisper into the kiss, taking his shirt off to the floor and you take a good look of his body, it looks more muscular than ten years ago, it’s like the gods sculpted him for you. He gives you lustful gaze while you feel his hand start to move the front of your panties. “ Mmm take them off Jungkook,” you encourage him desperately needing his fingers in you. He groans and you lift your butt up as he pulls it under, he slowly drags the panties down your legs, teasing you and you just want him to rip it off of you. The panties are finally off and you go to spread your legs apart inviting him in.

“ MOMMY!! YOU FORGOT TO READ ME A STORY!!” You both jump in surprise as you heard your son call from upstairs. Oh shit, were you really about to have sex on the kitchen table while your son was upstairs. You push Jungkook’s chest lightly and bend down to put your panties on. He gets his shirt and puts it on, “ Y/N, I miss you not just physically but emotionally.”

“ Let’s talk about this later, Eunwoo is calling for me,” you offer him a small smile.

“ Okay, it’s late I should head out, tell Eunwoo that I said bye,” you walk him towards the door and kiss him on the cheek as a ‘see you soon’ goodbye.

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Do not repost, translate, or alternate my work in any way, onto any platform. I do not take plagiarism lightly.

#bts #btssmut #bts smut #jungkook #angst #fluff #bts fic #bts fluff #bts angst #jungkook x reader #bts fanfic #fanfic #jungkook fluff #imagine #kookie #jungkook day

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surveys-at-your-service · 3 years

Text

Survey #357

“your magic white rabbit has left its writing on the wall / we follow like alice, and just keep diving down the hole”

Are you better at telling stories or writing them? Writing, by a long shot. What’s one song you hate, but know every word to? i'm a barbie girl in a fckn barbie woooooorld What’s your favorite magazine? I don’t read magazines. If you could be an animal for one day, which animal would you choose? Probably a house cat. Be indoors and safe, able to just nap... lol. But I'd want another cat as a friend, too! Do you prefer outdoor or indoor concerts/events? Indoors, by a mile. I get hot outside way too easily. Do you know if you were a planned child? I don't know. What’s your favorite gem? Dragon's breath opal. As an adult, do you want to live in an apartment or a house? I'd like to live in a house, especially with the pets I want. I doubt many apartment complexes would allow multiple reptiles and inverts. Do you like the stem or leafy part of the broccoli? It doesn't matter much to me, but I prefer the stem. The texture is more likeable to me. Do bats frighten you? No, I adore bats! Does Paris appeal to you? Yeah, it's a pretty place. Are you a KPOP fan? No, I've never really checked it out. How long was your longest relationship? Over three and a half years. First time you kissed the last person you kissed? We were outside roasting marshmallows one night. Do you have to really know someone to kiss them? Absolutely. I don't dish 'em out for nothing. Were you anyone’s first kiss? No. If you had to be named after one of the 50 states of America, what state would you WANT to be named after? I actually think "Nevada" would be kinda pretty as a name? Do you think morals are universal or relative to the beliefs, traditions, or practices of individuals or groups? I've wondered this for a long while, really. I lean towards it being a mix, maybe? But more towards universal, I think... with some exceptions. This answer is all over the place, I honestly don't know. Is torture ever a good option? If no, why not? If yes, when? No? I think the "why not" is obvious... You just don't. What do you think is one one of the most undervalued professions right now? Teachers, garbagemen, retail and food workers... There's a lot. Have you ever seen anyone have a heart attack? Thank Christ no. Have you personalized your answering machine/voicemail? No. Have you ever had Fiji brand water? I actually don't believe I have, though it's always looked appealing to me, haha. What’s your favorite horror movie? The Crazies and the first Silent Hill, as well as both Blair Witch Projects. What was the worst thing a friend has either done or said to you? I'd rather not even think about things the bitch said to me. Are you biracial? No. When was the last time you got mad and broke something? I've never broken something when mad. What color dress did you wear to prom? My first was maroon, second one was black. Who is the cutest baby you know? My friend has a daughter named Scarlett who is absolutely gorgeous. Have you ever thrown a rock at a window? No, because I respect people's fucking property. Has anyone ever thrown a rock at your window? No. Does your hair react well to dye, or does it damage it? It likes to not take dye at all. >.> I have only had one instance where a friend dyed it red and it stuck for months and months, but we kept it in for a couple hours, I think. My normal hairdresser says it's because my hair is really healthy and I guess rejects it. What kind of pet do you wish you had? I ramble plenty about how I want tarantulas and more reptiles, haha. I also DESPERATELY want to rescue or foster an opossum. When was the last time you were diagnosed with something? Are you concerned about anything regarding your physical or mental health at the moment? I haven't been diagnosed with anything in quite some time, I believe, but as I'm going through the process of being approved for TMS therapy for my depression, my bipolar diagnosis is being questioned, which is... strange to me. It's been acknowledged by many a doctor that I have bipolar 2, but if insurance recognizes my primary diagnosis as bipolar, they won't cover TMS because it can massively excite the mania portion of bipolarity, and therefore I can't do it because we can't manually afford it. I'm willing to take the risk by far, as I've never had issues with mania, but I can't without insurance. I'm just waiting to hear back from them... What is one blanket judgment you tend to make about people (like, you judge all people who live at home, all people who drink, etc)? Does this judgment come from a particular personal experience? I really don't know. How do you react to other people yelling or slamming doors? Is this something you ever do too? I get very scared if it's a man. I don't like anyone doing it, and my anxiety will spike regardless, I'm just terrified of angry men. Have you ever lost your cool at work or somewhere else important? What happened as a result? No. Who has the power to break you? Jason still might. I don't know. Is anyone in your family blind? My sister is legally blind in one eye. Do you believe in evolution? Yeah. I do find the concept odd, that ALL LIFE originated from one thing, but I sure ain't got a better explanation, so. What job do you think people should be paid the most for? Surgeons, maybe? I dunno, that's a big question. Were you ever held back a year in school? Did you ever skip a grade? No. Have you ever been given a hickey? Have you given one? Yeah to both. What is your least favourite thing about your full name? I have the most basic white bitch middle name in the world, lol. Do you like the age you are? Eh, I don't mind it much, but I think it'd be better to be in my early 20s versus mid 20s. I'm just always so tired now. I can't believe I used to refuse to go to sleep before 10:30. What’s your favourite kind of poptart? The chocolate sundae one. If you had to eat one type (Chinese, etc.) of food which would it be? American bc I'm not very adventurous with food at all. When did your family immigrate to wherever you live now? *shrug* Are your fingers long, or short? Long. Mom's always said I have "piano fingers." Do you play Pokemon Go? If so, what level are you and who’s your buddy? Yeah, I love it, but don't play it nearly as much as I want because I don't exactly go anywhere, lol. My bud's Charmeleon, and I'm probably like five EXP from level 28. Do you ever sit indoors and wear sunglasses or a hat? I don't own either, so. Do you know how to read animals’ behavior? I honestly think I'm very good at it. Do you like playing video games? If so, what do you usually play? Yes, but not as much as I used to. All I really play nowadays is World of Warcraft. The only working console I have is a PS2, and I haven't bought a new game in probably a couple years, but there are definitely ones I want to play, mainly on PS4. Just can't afford it right now. Have you ever viewed the moon through a telescope? No. Do you know how to properly eat food with chopsticks? No. There's no way I could, given my tremors. Do you prefer reading books, comic books, manga/graphic novels, magazines, or the newspaper? Books. When is the last time you ate donuts? It's been months, man. I've seriously been craving a glazed one, though. Krispy Kreme sounds amaaaaaziiiiiing. Has anyone ever called you sexy? Somehow. Do you like raisins? NO NO NO NO NO. Have you ever overheard a conversation you weren’t supposed to? More than once. Do you like ants? They're genuinely extremely fascinating animals, but they're seriously annoying nevertheless. Did you like the movie Antz? I loved it as a kid. What was your favorite ice cream flavor when you were little? Chocolate. Is it still your favorite? Eh, depends on the day. By the way, what is your name? Brittany. What time zone do you live in? EST. Do you like cats? I love cats. What’s the most creepy experience you’ve ever had? One night when my mom and sister were at the beach for a dance competition, I was having trouble sleeping, and it only got worse when my dog Teddy started freaking the fuck out, barking loudly and staring intently at the foot of the bed. I was so scared that I tried to force his head to lie down, but he fought against me. I was terrified, but got up out of the bed and went into the living room to call my mom at like 3 in the damn morning, and she had to have our neighbor come over to sleep in the house with me (I was in a different room that night). You can't convince me that there wasn't paranormal shit going on. I think the house was haunted honestly, for multiple reasons. What’s the most boring game to exist? Why do you dislike it so much? Hm, I dunno. What’s the coolest place that you've ever been to? What’d you do there? Disney World was very memorable as a kid. We just went around collecting signatures, going on rides, all that fun stuff. I'll never forget fireworks at the castle. If you’re interested in having a long-term relationship with someone, do you think that waiting a certain amount of time before you first have sex is a good idea? Or does it not matter? I think it's a good idea, personally, mostly for the sake of reducing the spread of STDs. Just because you think you'll be long-term, doesn't mean you will be. Besides that, isn't there a science that sex and feelings of love are connected? Like, sex is impossible without at least some underlying emotions? I might be entirely wrong, in which case forgive me for spreading misinformation, but if that's so and things don't go as planned, you've gotten emotionally invested in someone too early and wind up getting hurt. You do you, I just don't think it's smart. Have you ever discovered something big by looking through someone’s phone, Facebook, email, etc.? No. Have you kept anything from your past relationships? (Things they left at your house, gifts, notes, etc) Do you think that’s a big deal for future relationships or not? Yeah, like plushies and little stuff like that. When it's tiny things like I just mentioned, I really don't think it matters. I think some things might be questionable to keep, but at the same time, I don't think it's really wrong to keep memories of a happy time, if the thing still brings you joy and has been emotionally disconnected from the ex? Idk. Do you have any financial regrets? Either way, what’s an example of a GOOD financial decision you’ve made? Going to and dropping out of college three fucking times. I don't know about a good financial decision seeing as I'm not even in charge of my own finances, nor really have any to begin with. Are you a believer in “signs” from the Universe about things in your life? If you are, can you think of a particular example? No. Name some things that one or both of your parents are really good at or really interested in. Mom LOVES medical stuff, like watching surgeries and stuff like that. She is also absolutely incredible with children. Dad likes sports a lot, hockey and football especially. Think of a good friend of the opposite sex (currently or in the past). Have you ever had any sort of “more than a friend” or sexual thoughts about them? If not, can you explain why? Well, we dated briefly, so... It was awkward to, but I let myself imagine sexual situations a few times to help myself understand if I really did like-like him, or if he was truly just a brother to me. Turns out, he's a bro. If someone told you that you would never achieve something and you ended up doing it, would you have any interest in finding that person and showing them? I'ma be honest, yes. I wouldn't actively seek them out, but rather just hope they somehow find out or I run into them or something. What is the most jealousy-induced thing you’ve ever done? Apparently, be the girl Juan liked instead of this girl that literally threatened to deck me. Guess what? We're friends now lmaoooo.

#survey #surveys #questions #lyrics: ''white rabbit'' by egypt central

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cubeswhump · 4 years

Text

Her Old Home: A Visitor

Here we see Sweetie when she lived with her first owner. Sorry if you were looking forward to some Michelle nastiness. Pretty fucking angsty (see warnings) but uh. Sweetie makes a friend.

This was supposed to be posted hours ago but I think my iron is low so I slept all day and then my pig (yes you read that right, no I do not live on a farm) threw a tantrum that would put any two-year-old to shame and I had to make him happy and then I had to do exposure therapy. Now watch Sweetie make her pig happy.

Also I misspelled bruschetta so many different ways in my first draft.

Thank you @moose-teeth for the Guard Dog concept.

Tagging @more-miserables @haro-whumps @albino-whumpee @eatyourdamnpears @broken-horn @whumpsblog (If anyone wants to be added to the taglist, just say and I'll write you down for next time! Same goes for wanting to be removed.)

Warning for institutionalized slavery, dehumanization, ableist language (brief), implied dub/noncon, unwanted pregnancy, pregnancy in general, physical and emotional abuse, self-harm, self-deprecation, thoughts of abuse toward a minor, creepy caretaking (kinda?), suppression of stimming (very brief).

The pet stared with wide eyes as her owner took the good clothes out of the closet. Excitement bubbled inside her and the previously forgotten emition nearly knocked her off her feet.

"Mister Trey," she said quietly, daring to speak up. "Are we going out?"

He sneered at her. "Of course not. Are you retarded? Wretches like you stay in the house."

"Yes, Mister Trey. I'm very sorry." What a fool she was to have such absurd hopes, but the curiosity piped up within her brain, begging for answers.

"You don't need to know my reasons; all you need to do is what you're told. Now get fucking dressed," the man growled.

As he stalked out of the room, smoothing his greying hair, the pet dropped her sheer nightgown.

The nice clothes seldom came out of the closet, so how did they smell like Mister Trey's ashtray? She wrinkled her nose. The red skirt slid down her hips and she had to fasten its button with an elastic band. The shirt was so tight around her stomach too, and she couldn't even hide how she'd fastened her skirt.

She couldn't help shuffling into the bathroom to see the mess she was in the mirror. Her reflection's face contorted hideously and gripped its bulging stomach. The pink shirt was taut against the growth and showed a slip of pale skin below her navel as she fought to pull it down. She looked uglier than ever.

A little girl with her father's beautiful blue eyes and thick hair so unlike her mother's in the way it doesn't escape her pigtails prances around in a fabulous blue dress. Mister Trey spends so much money showering their daughter with gifts of clothes and toys but he doesn't complain. The kitchen smells of savory spices when she runs in and tugs on the wild-haired woman's conservative dress.

"Mama, Mama!" the girl exclaims in her squeaky voice. "Come play!"

The woman looks down and smiles. Her neck is bare. Bad thought, you're a pet. Her collar is stylish and comfortable. She holds a spoon to the child's lips. "Blow on it, baby, and tell me how it tastes."

The little girl blows so hard some broth splashes out, but her mother only laughs. She takes a noisy slurp and beams. "Mmm!"

"Good?" the woman asks, and the little girl nods emphatically. "Okay, I'll leave the soup simmering while we play."

The woman allows the little girl to take her hand and pull her right along into a different scene.

"Mama, Mama!" the child yells, and the woman scrubbing smokey baseboards in a translucent nightie fights the urge to cover her ears.

"Not now! Mama's busy," she says harshly. Her hands are red and raw but she scrubs and scrubs, nightgown wet after the day's cleaning and chafing her skin.

"Mama, I wanna play!" the child whines. Though its mother makes sure to keep it clean and fed, it's dressed in rags and covered in bruises.

The woman suddenly spins around and grips the child by its fragile shoulders. She forces herself to look into its eyes and gates the way she sees its father in them. Shut up, you love your owner. "Look, baby, I know you're bored but you'll have to just deal with it. We both know what your father will do if the house isn't clean when he gets home."

The woman releases the child's shoulders and turns her back. She doesn't want to see the tears pooling in its eyes.

The woman pet, younger now, stroking a black cat in the garden. A faint smile plays on her lips as she is warmed by the sun.

An infant's shrill cry pierces through her peace. The stupid brat always ruins her peace, what little time she has to herself. It was all she could do to not yank it out of its crib and shake it until it's quiet.

The pet whined a little, face crumpling in the mirror. She was awful, wretched, terrible. She seized her hairbrush and started beating her stomach with it. "I hate you! I don't want you! I don't want you!"

"Shut the fuck up!" Mister Trey screamed downstairs. "What's taking so long? Hurry up!"

The pet huffed and puffed, stomach and chest heaving so much her shirt threatened to burst. The slender fingers gripping her her hairbrush were white against the black handle. She slammed the brush down on the counter and pressed the heels of her hands against her eyes in an effort to keep the tears in.

"Bitch! Hurry up!" Mister Trey boomed.

The pet placed a hand on her stomach. It stung from each blow but now she stroked the growth as tenderly as a newborn kitten. "I don't really hate you, baby... This world isn't right for you. And I'm a pet, not a mother."

"I don't want kids, Mama. I don't want a husband either. No one can tie me down!"

Confusion replaced misery. Where did those words come from? Had she uttered them? Who was Mama?

Stupid. Of course she had a mother at one point. As a pet, though, she has long since given away her right to have parents. She was a simple pet that was meant to serve. Her only family was her owner, and she loved him so, so much.

Her owner, who was waiting impatiently. Her blood turned icy. She tried to run from the bathroom but a sharp, white-hot pain knocked her to the ground. She cried out, convulsing as the pain radiated from her neck throughout her body.

Feet thundering up the stairs. All she could see were the tiles (did she already need to mop again?) and Mister Trey's shoes. With the click of a button, the pain stopped and she was able to be pleased that she had polished his shoes so well that her agonized face was reflected on one toe.

Still twitching, her hand moved to wipe away the drool that had trickled down her chin. A big hand grabbed hank of light brown hair and yanked her up. Her legs scrabbled achieve balance as her scalp screamed.

"When I say to hurry up, you fucking hurry up!" he roared, face twisted and nearly purple with rage. "What are you playing at, Bitch?"

"'M shurry..." Had her tongue grown thicker? Ugh, she sounded horrible. This wouldn't do.

"Come downstairs now!" He let go of her hair without warning and she dropped, chin hitting the floor so hard that for a moment she worried her teeth might break. Her tongue ran over the backs. Safe.

He stomped out of the room as she pushed herself up. He said to hurry but he'd be even angrier of she came downstairs with her hair sticking up and tangled. She raked the brush through it and sighed at the amount of hair that came back between the bristles when she pulled it away.

She ran down the stairs so fast she almost fell, stumbling on the last step. Mister Trey caught her by her arm, finger going wag-wag in her face like she was a naughty puppy.

"Clumsy girl! You be careful with my heir," he barked.

"I'm very sorry, Mister Trey," the pet said hastily, moving to kneel before he stopped her.

"I'm expecting company. Get started on negroni and something to eat."

She hurried off to the kitchen. She didn't know how much time she had to prepare so she had to come up with something that could be made quickly but wouldn't stale or turn to mush if this visitor took a while to arrive.

She had just drizzles the last of the balsamic vinegar when the doorbell rang. She picked up the tray and hurried to greet the visitor, but not so fast that the drinks would slosh.

There wasn't one visitor, but two. The shock collar around the stocky, taller one's neck quickly told the pet why Mister Troyer only mentioned one visitor; the second wasn't even a person.

"Right on time. Oh, look wgat she has for us!" Mister Trey's teeth gleamed in his perfect smile.

"Isn't she a Romantic?" asked the other owner.

He was less handsome than both his pet and Mister Trey, heavyset and balding with a pinched face, but he seemed... genuine. No, horrible pet, your owner is the most genuine man alive!

"She is," Mister Trey said. "Isn't she lovely?"

"Your romantic cooks and serves you on a platter?" asked the other owner, eyebrows raised.

Mister Trey took away the tray and wrapped an arm around his pet, pressing a kiss to the side of her head. "She's perfect. Now, show some respect for Mister Brighten. Position five."

Both pets dropped to their knees, palms down and foreheads pressing to the floor. Mister Brighten sighed. "Come on, Ajax. You don't have to do that. Get up."

His pet, Ajax, was upright in an instant, right by his owner's side. His expression was hard as stone. "Yes Sir, sorry Sir."

"Tell your girl she can get up, Kyle," demanded Mister Brighten. The girl was shocked to hear someone bossing her owner around.

"Get up," Mister Trey barked, and she did so. As Mister Brighten tirned his attention to regard the female pet, he frowned, squinting at her stomach as it stuck out over the waist of her skirt. This early on, he couldn't tell if she just carried extra wait in her midsection, or if Mister Trey actually...

"You should buy your pet clothes that fit," Mister Brighten scoffed, and heat rushed to the pet's face.

No, don't blush! Embarrassment insults the owner! But it was hard not to feel embarrassed as she regarded herself in her socks and ill-fitting clothes, with her hair that refused to cooperate, and then looked at the others. Mister Trey in his smart suit and shiny patent shoes, hair nice and gelled. Mister Brighten with his suit as well. Even Ajax looked nice, fantastic curly hair in a neat ponytail and a button-down tucked into his slacks.

But Mister Brighten softened as he looked at the girl. "What's your name, honey?"

She opened her mouth. "Bi-"

Mister Trey cut in. "That doesn't matter. This is Ajax?" He reached toward his slick black hair, hand retracting when the boy snarled. "My God! Discipline your pet, Will."

Mister Brighten's ever-present frown deepened. "He's a Guard Dog. He's meant to be wary of people other than his owner."

"I'm a friend of your owner, Ajax. You treat me with respect, you hear me? Now, let's not let this food go to waste."

"I hope you made enough for Ajax," Mister Brighten murmured, sitting across from Mister Trey. The other owner snorted.

"Does he need it in a dog bowl?" he joked.

"You know he's still human, right?" Mister Brighten asked dryly. "How about the pets take their plates and leave us owners to talk business?"

Ajax gave a nod. The girl looked ro her owner for approval, and he waved dismissively. She took four pieces of bruschetta to split between two small plates, and did an awkward curtsey.

"Enjoy your bruschetta and negronis, sirs," she said, though it felt very belated. She turned to Ajax, murmuring, "Shall I show you the garden?"

Ajax looked to his owner. His owner nodded. "Go ahead, Ajax. She's safe."

Ajax nodded and followed the other pet. She led him to the back garden and he patiently listened while she showed him all her plants" "This here, my tomato plant, is my favorite. I grew the tomatoes on our bruschetta myself. I used to have an eggplant bush but Mister Trey said he doesn't like eggplants and it's an eyesore so I had to dig it up, which was a great idea from him. I don't know what this cactus is, but I really, really like it. And this..."

Once she had introduced every plant, the pets lapsed into silence. Ajax took a tentative sniff of his bruschetta before taking a bite. He really was like a dog, but at least he chewed with his mouth closed.

The girl didn't think she had ever interacted with a Guard Dog. She hadn't interacted with many pets at all; Romantics were dirty sluts and the orher trainees rightfully kept their distance.

"What does your owner call you?" Ajax asked at one point, surprising her. "He wouldn't let you say."

"I don't think he wants people to know," she replied.

Silence again. Then he spoke up. "May I ask a question? It might be rude."

She frowned a bit. She, a pet, was being asked for her approval? And who was this other pet to speak so casually?

"All right," she agreed.

"Are you pregnant?"

The girl pulled on a lock of her hair, moving it toward her face. She stopped herself from putting it in her mouth. Bad, Bitch! No chewing. She nodded.

"Pets aren't supposed to get pregnant," Ajax pointed out.

"Mister Trey wants an heir," she informed him.

"What does that even mean?"

"It means..." She paused, frowning again. "I don't actually know, but it's very important to Mister Trey, and I want him to be happy."

"As you should. I strive to keep Will- Mister Brighten happy."

"I'm happy if Mister Trey is happy," the girl went on. "So, so happy. And very grateful for all he's done for me."

Ajax nodded. He swallowed the last bite of his bruschetta while the other pet's sat untouched.

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spacesnail3000 · 5 years

Text

Brooklyn’s Sweetheart Chapter 15: Big Fucking Trouble—With a Capital T

Pairing: Stucky x Reader

Chapter Summary: Steve has some real Anger Management Issues (capitalized for emphasis). Perhaps he should try some coping techniques, like deep breathing, or restorative yoga, or a hefty glass of straight whiskey.

Word Count: 4,660

Warnings: Language, violence, anger issues

A/N: So I know it's been quite a few weeks, and I'm sorry for taking so long to get the next chapter out! i've been swamped with assignments, and then Thanksgiving happened, and it's just been a hectic time so you'll have to forgive me. Big thanks to my beta, @jessieray98 --she's AMAZING!!

Masterlist / AO3

“Do you think this is normal?” Bucky muttered to Steve the next night. It was dinnertime and Y/N was sitting at the table, staring blankly at the pizza in front of her.

She had been like this all day. Silent, brooding, sad. She had stayed in bed until noon; although Steve had wanted to wake her up earlier, Bucky convinced him to let her sleep in. They only woke her up when it was time for lunch, which she barely touched. Now at dinner, she still wasn’t eating, although they had ordered from her favorite pizza place.

Steve, who was at the counter with Bucky dishing up their own pizza, frowned, replying in a quiet voice that she couldn’t hear, “She’s gotta eat some time.”

“She’s grieving. If she doesn’t want to talk, we shouldn’t make her.”

“We can at least make her eat,” Steve grumbled, irate at the entire situation. They went to go sit next to her at the table.

“Ready to eat?” Bucky asked, trying to keep his tone cheerful. After Bucky and Steve had already finished their first slices, she still hadn’t taken a single bite of hers.

Steve was fed up, and of course, he had never been the best at controlling his temper. The tension had been building all day, and Bucky should have expected things to blow up soon enough. “Eat your damn food, Y/N,” Steve barked at her.

“I’m not hungry.” Her voice was hoarse from not speaking all day and from all the crying she had done when they weren’t looking.

“Can’t you just eat one slice?” Bucky coaxed, his voice soft. “Please?”

She clenched her jaw, a rush of anger towards Bucky surging through her. Stuffing it down into the depths of her chest, she tightened her hands into fists, trying her hardest to contain the rage within, body tense with the effort. “No,” she answered him shortly, afraid if she opened her mouth for any longer, she would let everything out, every vile thing she wanted to say to them.

Steve had just about had it. “Y/N,” he snapped, “You’re gonna eat a slice of that fucking pizza. Right. Now.”

“Or what?” The petulant girl before him maintained eye contact with him. Steve’s eyes flashed, the vein in his temple pulsing. She couldn’t help but challenge him. Maybe to show him that she wouldn’t bend to his will, maybe to see just what he would do about it.

He and Bucky were both on their feet at once. Steve started towards Y/N, hands ready to grab her by the hair, but Bucky stood in his path, stopping him from touching her.

“Steve,” Bucky grunted, using all his strength to hold Steve back, “Steve, think about this. Now is not the time!”

“The little brat needs to learn her place,” Steve snarled. Meanwhile, Y/N watched on, shocked. It was the first time Bucky had ever intervened in Steve teaching her a lesson. Even before that summer, back when Steve’s punishments didn’t involve sexual misconduct, Bucky had always allowed Steve to rebuke her and scold her to his heart’s content. But this wasn’t a matter of her disobeying little rules or being a brat. She wasn’t going to let them control her anymore.

“Go to bed,” Bucky ordered her in a low growl. She obeyed, not for the sake of following his orders, but because she couldn’t stand to be around Steve anymore. Scurrying to Bucky’s bedroom, she shut the door and locked it just as she heard the front door open and slam closed. The noise made her jump, and she rushed to get into Bucky’s bed, curling up in his comforter. It smelled like him, his cologne, sandalwood and tobacco.

Despite her anger towards him now, her disgust at the man who helped kill her father, the scent brought back so many memories, and she let herself sink into them.

Snowy days curled up together watching movies, naps taken after school when she didn’t have swim practice, warm hugs and tender touches that didn’t mean anything more than friendship at the time. She and Bucky had always had fun together—he always seemed to encourage her rowdiness, her competitive side. Racing him downhill when they went on skiing trips, or competing who could do the most laps at the pool, or who could build the biggest sandcastle at the beach.

But Bucky was more than just that. Bucky was always her solace, not just a protector or guardian, but a source of comfort, peace. Memories of Bucky comforting her when her father yelled at her, distracting her while her father held tense mob meetings downstairs, keeping her safe when strange men came to their house, their predatory gazes pinned on her whenever she would enter the room. Not just safety, but security, especially when Steve wasn’t available to be that role for her.

Steve, on the other hand, had always been that rule maker, the one to lay down the law, to keep her safe at the expense of her happiness. At one point, he had been a friend, too, sweet and kind and coddling, albeit overprotective to a fault. But he certainly hadn’t always been angry and mean. She was 14 years old when his mother died, and that’s when Steve grew cold—not just with her, but with everyone.

Her memories of Steve before that were different. He always made sure she was fed, and warm, and safe, and happy. He used to pick her up every day after school and buy her food—hot dogs, or pizza, or ice cream, indulge her in whatever she chose. The only time he wasn’t kind to her was when she was a brat, and even then, he would reprimand her and then make it up to her afterwards with gentle words and hugs and treats to make up for it.

After his mother died, Tony took Steve under his wing, focused on him more than the other young men in the mob, groomed him to be cold and calculating and emotionless, just as a mob leader should be. The only emotion Steve was allowed to show was anger, all of his sadness bottled up inside him, waiting to be released as rage and violence.

Occasionally, she still saw glimpses of his old self. Those moments of softness became few and far between, and Y/N cherished them whenever they came. The locket he gave her for her birthday, the time he taught her how to paint, the morning cuddles they had shared just the other day—those rare moments of affection and kindness that she missed dearly, that she yearned for.

As sudden as the thought came, she berated herself for it. Steve had helped kill her father. She wasn’t supposed to want him, just like she wasn’t supposed to want Bucky. Her heart broke for the thousandth time as she recounted how sweet they could be. How could she ever reconcile that with their despicable actions?

Unable to help herself, she cried silently into Bucky’s pillow, until she fell into a light sleep.

Steve came back home a few hours later, knuckles bloody and bruised. In the meantime, Bucky had stress-eaten the entire pizza, half a tub of chocolate ice cream, and he was just considering whether to make a Cubano or a Reuben sandwich when the lock turned and Steve walked in.

Shiny with sweat, dirt all over his clothes, knuckles bruised and bloody, Bucky could tell that Steve had been beating something up. Or someone, based on his split lip and the cut above his eyebrow.

“Steve—”

Before Bucky could get a word in, Steve sent him a sharp glare, stormed into the bathroom, and slammed the door shut. By the time he heard the sound of the shower running, he had all of the ingredients out for both sandwiches and was hastily slathering mustard onto bread.

He craved the sandwiches of the deli down the street, but he felt wary about leaving Steve alone with their girl.

The entire situation made Bucky unbelievably anxious, especially since Steve had been such a menace the past few days. Sure, the man had a temper—anger issues, definitely—but it wasn’t usual for him to be so cross with Y/N, even when she was acting petulant and obnoxious. Now, though, the mob was in danger. The tension was so high, Steve’s stress was peaked, and it bled into his mood, making him much more volatile than usual.

Another component was that they had begun this relationship with her. Now that Steve felt a broader sense of ownership and responsibility over her, it was different; her anger and defiance and deliberate disobedience felt more personal somehow.

Her behavior annoyed Bucky, especially the night she had gone to Manhattan with Wanda, putting herself in danger so carelessly. However, for the most part, he was just concerned about her, and frustrated that he couldn’t do anything to help. He knew what it was like to lose parents, and he knew she would be going through the stages of grief. His mood had bounced all over the place in the immediate time after his parents died—until he had discovered unhealthy coping mechanisms, like sex and drugs and suppressing his emotions.

That had been years ago, and it had taken him a long time to get back to some sense of normalcy. He knew that she would be changed forever by this turn of events.

It broke his heart to see her like this. He hadn’t been with her for long—it had only been a week or so since their illicit relationship had begun, but Bucky already felt so strongly for her. He had only ever been in love with Steve—had never fallen out of love with him, to be honest—and he couldn’t help but think it felt much the same with Y/N.

Now wasn’t the time for that issue, though. He would only scare her away during her time of crisis and make everything worse.

By the time Bucky had made both sandwiches and mulled over the entire situation, the water in the bathroom turned off, and Bucky held his breath, waiting for Steve. He exited the bathroom along with a cloud of steam, a towel slung around his waist.

He looked miserable. The anger had worn off by then, leaving a sense of helplessness for the situation.

Steve sat on the couch, not bothering to put on clothes. “She’s never going to trust me.”

“Steve—”

“We did all of this wrong. Now I don’t know how to get a hold of her.” He couldn’t control her, and that’s what scared Steve the most. It scared him to the point of rage, to the point of violence.

Manipulating her had always been so easy. What had changed? Was it him? Had he lost his touch? Was he so terrifying now with the storm of uncontrolled anger and tension within, that he had lost her completely?

Or was it her? Was she old enough now to see him for who he really is?

And if that was the truth—well, no wonder she wanted nothing to do with him. Steve didn’t deserve anything as good as her.

Bucky sat beside him, sensing Steve’s self-doubt, his anger, his sadness. Steve always worked so hard to suppress the emotions, but Bucky could read him better than anyone. He couldn’t hide anything from Bucky.

“Here,” Bucky said, handing Steve the Cubano. “Eat up.”

And they ate the sandwiches, side by side, while the girl who owned their hearts slept in the next room.

The next morning proved to be even harder than the previous night.

“Darling. Honey. Sweetheart.” Bucky was given the task of waking Y/N up for the funeral. Steve stood in the doorway, observing, determined not to get involved. “You gotta wake up. You need to get ready.”

She grunted and shoved his hand away from stroking her hair. “No.”

“The funeral is in an hour. We need to get ready to go.”

“I’m not going.”

Bucky released a breath through his nose. “Honey, I know you’re mad at him. I know he did terrible things. But this is the last time you’re going to be able to get any closure with him. You need to go to the funeral.”

“I’m. Not. Going.”

“You’re gonna be mad for a long time, that’s not gonna change, but in the long run, this will help with—”

“Bucky, I’m not fucking going!” she yelled, smacking his hand away from her. “Leave me the fuck alone!”

Rage boiled through Steve, a dangerous drug, a familiar old friend. He couldn’t stop it. “Y/N,” he seethed through clenched teeth, “Get up, you are going to the goddamn funeral.”

“No, I’m not!”

“Everyone is expecting you to be there!” he shouted, losing his temper once again.

Well, Y/N had a temper of her own, and after stewing in her rage all night, she was ready to yell at Steve for any reason. “Fuck you! You can’t make me go, Steve!” she sneered his name with so much disrespect, and Bucky only blinked once before Steve was on her, hand in her hair, dragging her out of bed. Her shrieks echoed throughout the apartment as Steve pulled her into the bathroom, and she scrambled behind him every step of the way, nails clawing at his wrist, trying in vain to keep up with his long strides.

He tossed her in the tub and twisted the shower knob with enough force to yank it off, and once cold water started to spray down on her, her yells only increased in volume, curse words and rude names sprinkled in liberally, language that they had rarely heard her use before.

“You fucking asshole, stop it! Let me go! I’m not going to the—"

Steve ignored the verbal onslaught, crouching down and trying to pull her clothes off. “Help me out, Buck,” Steve grunted when her flailing limbs became too much to handle. Bucky held her down, thwarting each attempted punch and kick, while Steve managed to get all of her clothes off. By the time she was nude, her face was flushed and angry tears began to well up in her eyes.

“Fuck both of you! You’re both bastards! I can’t believe I ever liked you—”

Steve silenced her by aiming the detachable showerhead directly at her face, making her cough and splutter as she got a lungful of water. It provided enough of a distraction for Bucky to start shampooing her hair while Steve scrubbed a bar of soap over her skin. All the while, her tears fell, but her tirade did not lighten between her sobs.

“This will be good for you in the long run,” Bucky said evenly as he washed her hair.

“No it won’t!” she growled, thrashing in their grip until Steve held her down with soapy hands, a bruising grip on her wrists.

“Calm the fuck down,” he grunted, “You’re going to the fucking funeral, you little brat, so help me—"

“You’re horrible!” she wailed, chest heaving as she gulped in more air. “You’re horrible, and despicable, and degenerate—and—and—and your mother would’ve been so disappointed in you Steve—”

Wasting no time, Steve silenced her with his fist against her face, something in between a punch and a slap that left her collapsed at the bottom of the tub, ears ringing, vision blacking out for a moment while she regained her wits.

Bucky pulled her back up, not to comfort her, but to continue bathing her. Rinsing his hands, he swiped his fingers against her aching cheek where Steve had left milky suds against angry red flesh, then continued scrubbing conditioner into her hair. “Tip your head back,” he instructed her, an impassive expression plastered on his face, guiding her head back with utilitarian movements. Not too gentle but not rough, either.

Towering above her, Steve met her gaze. She had never seen him look at her like that before—not just anger, but wrath and disgust written across his features. “Don’t you ever talk about my mother again.” His tone was low, threatening, and his eyes shone with hatred or tears or something else she couldn’t tell.

He stormed out of the bathroom then, and she resumed crying, silently this time.

Bucky didn’t have much sympathy for her, not when she delivered such a low blow. He continued his soothing actions of rinsing out her conditioner, then grabbed the bar of soap to continue washing her body. “You shouldn’t have mentioned his mother.”

I know, she thought. “I don’t care,” she replied with a sullen sniffle, taking the soap bar from him.

“Can you do this yourself?” he asked.

“Yes,” she gritted. “You can leave.”

“Don’t take too long.”

As she scrubbed her skin with the soap, shivering from the frigid temperature of the water, she thought about what might happen at the funeral.

The Catholic traditions her family subscribed to mandate a wake, which was to take place that morning. Then the hour-long Mass to follow, and then the funeral afterwards. There would be so many people from the mob there—they would probably be the only ones in attendance, in fact.

Her father’s parents were no longer alive, and he had no siblings or other family. Her mother wouldn’t be there, of course—and her mother had no family left that cared about Obadiah.

Aside from the mob, who else did Obadiah have?

She didn’t want to see any of the mob, especially not for these funeral proceedings that would take hours. Her father had somehow betrayed them, and then they arranged for his death. Where did that leave her?

It was sure to be long, and tortuous, and painful, and…

Well, she had no intention of going either way.

She turned up the hot water and sat back, letting the stream warm her up and relax her muscles.

Twenty minutes passed and she still hadn’t come out or even turned off the shower, and Bucky was starting to get anxious again. Steve, on the other hand, was seething as Bucky tied his tie for him, a half-Windsor knot tied to perfection.

“Some nerve she has,” he hissed, every muscle in his body tensed up in the effort not to punch something—again. He had put a hole through the kitchen drywall after exiting the bathroom. “What’re we gonna do with her, Buck?”

“I don’t know,” Bucky sighed as he tightened the knot up to Steve’s throat. “But now is not the time. We just need to get through this funeral—that’s it.”

“Well if she doesn’t come out soon, we’re going to be late.”

“I’m sure she’d be pleased with that,” Bucky muttered, leaving Steve’s bedroom and approaching the bathroom door. “Honey, time’s up,” he called, knocking gently on the wood. When he tried to open it, it was locked. There was no answer from her.

“Tony’s on his way,” Steve said, coming out of his bedroom, tapping on his phone. “She ready?”

“She locked herself in.”

Steve’s phone might have cracked from the force he gripped it at that news, face flushing again with anger. With how many mood swings he was having in that morning alone, Bucky wondered if he should be worried for Steve’s blood pressure. Steve stormed up to the bathroom door and practically pressed himself flat against it. “Y/N!” he shouted, pounding his fist on the door, the wood rattling against the doorframe. “Open up this door, now! You’re in big fucking trouble!”

Still no response.

Big fucking Trouble—with a capital T.

A stifling panic began to creep over Bucky, a fleeting concern that maybe she had done something—something thoughtless, although she had never had a propensity for self-harm, these were dire times and God knows what was going through her mind—

Steve was yelling again—had never really stopped. “Answer me or I’m gonna break this fucking door down and—”

“Leave me alone!” came her despaired cry. “Go to the funeral without me, I’m not going!”

Relief flooded through Bucky’s mind, thankful at least that the worst-case scenario hadn’t happened.

“You little bitch, you are not going to ruin this today!” Just as Steve reared back to burst through the door, Bucky placed a calming hand on his back. “Steve, let’s just wait for Tony. Maybe he can talk some sense into her.”

“He can try…” Steve grumbled, turning around and storming into the kitchen. “I need a drink…”

“Yeah you do,” Bucky said under his breath. Steve didn’t hear. Bucky felt like he needed a drink, too.

It was only 8:30 a.m.

About ten minutes passed before the buzzer rang, and Bucky let Tony up promptly.

Tony let himself into the house. “How’s she doing?” he asked in a hushed voice. Then he registered the sound of water from the bathroom. “Wait—is she in the shower? She’s not ready yet?” Steve handed Tony a glass of scotch and poured himself another glass. Tony glanced between the glass, Steve’s expression (which could only be described as royally pissed off), and the bathroom door. “What the fuck is going on?”

“She’s being uncooperative,” Bucky said.

Steve snorted. “Uncooperative is putting it lightly. She’s a downright nightmare.”

“She’s being a little combative, using some vulgar language—”

“A little?” Steve rolled his eyes. “Listen, she’s refusing to go to the damn funeral, and she locked herself in the bathroom.”

“Oh boy.” Tony sighed, drained his scotch, and rubbed a hand down his face. Then he moved towards the bathroom door, muttering to himself. “It’s only eight in the morning and I already have to deal with this shit. Should’ve known Obadiah Stane’s funeral couldn’t go smoothly. He always manages to fuck something up, even in the afterlife.”

Then he knocked gently on the door. “Hey kid, it’s Tony.”

“Go away!” The girl inside shouted, and something thumped against the door, like she had thrown something against it. Bucky thought it sounded like a shampoo bottle.

“Jesus,” Tony muttered, glaring at the other men in the room. “You really worked her up, didn’t you?”

Steve pointed his finger accusingly at the door. “She’s a fucking brat. You try to control her and see if it turns out any better.”

Tony rolled his eyes, then knocked again, harder. “Listen, you’re gonna turn the water off and put on some clothes and then we’re going to have a nice long chat about your behavior. If you don’t come out in the next two minutes, I’m busting this door down and I know you don’t want me to see you naked. So hustle.”

Much to the surprise of all the men in the room, the running water ceased, and a few minutes later, she came out, hair wrapped in a towel and body wrapped in Bucky’s flannel robe. It was way too big for her, the hem dropping to the floor, the sleeves encompassing her hands. Bucky would’ve thought she looked cute if she didn’t look like a tea kettle ready to boil over.

“I’m not going to that man’s funeral, and you can’t make me.”

Tony sighed. “Can we skip all the ‘he’s not my father’ bullshit and get straight to the point? There are people from the mob expecting you there to represent your family. This funeral means more than just you, so you’re going to stop being an insolent brat and get ready to go. We’re already going to be late for the wake.”

She laughed, mean and cruel and so unlike the girl they knew. “I’m fresh out of fucks to give about what the mob expects from me. I expected both my parents to be here for me as I’m growing up, but that’s not possible anymore, so.”

“You think you’re the only person in the mob with a tragic backstory? Abusive, absent parents? Parents dying? Read the room, kid.”

She glanced at all three men, anger flowing out of their eyes.

Tony continued. “You have a responsibility to the mob. We’re your family and we always will be—you can’t escape it, so put on your big girl panties and your funeral dress so we can get to the church on time!”

She sneered. “You’re not my family. And I have no responsibility to you.” Then she retreated into Bucky’s bedroom. Tony followed quickly and caught the door as she tried to slam it shut.

“Get out!”

Tony was getting desperate. “What will it take to get you to go to this funeral? I’ll literally give you anything you want.”

Her eyes lit up with something, and Tony knew he was speaking her language. Spoiled and pampered her entire life (with mob money, Tony restrained himself from pointing out), bargaining was the only way to get her to cooperate, especially with such a large-scale tantrum as this.

“I want to go to NYU.”

Well, Steve and Bucky didn’t like that.

“That’s completely out of the question!”

“How the hell are we supposed to protect you if you’re off in Manhattan?”

Her retort was sharp and bitter, “Oh and you’ve been doing such a good job of protecting me now? I’m gonna have a bruise on my face from your fist, Steve, or did you conveniently forget about that once Tony arrived?”

Tony groaned, rubbing his temples, then ushered her into the bedroom. “Can’t fucking think with you children shouting at each other!” He forcefully pushed her on the bed and she bounced a little as he began to pace around the room. “So they’ve been hitting you? That’s why you want to go to NYU?”

She swallowed down her nerves and glared at him. “I have a scholarship, Tony—I’m not just going to throw it away!”

Tony shook his head. “Your father was never going to let you go. He was going to marry you off to someone in another gang.”

She smiled, bitter. “I’m not surprised. But now he’s out of the picture. I’m 18, Tony, I can do whatever I want.” When Tony didn’t answer, she frowned. “Unless you were planning on doing that exact same thing?”

He shook his head. “Not to just anyone. You already seem to get along with Steve and Bucky. What about one of them?”

She shook her head, vehemence leaving her tone and desperation taking its place. “No, Tony, please don’t make me marry them! I couldn’t live with that!”

“That’s a little dramatic. You know, a few slaps and punches are less than what a lot of mob wives get. Your own mother included.”

“It’s not just that!” She exclaimed before she could think better if it and shut her mouth.

Tony waited for her to elaborate. “What else could it possibly be?”

She shook her head, then laughed. “I know they helped kill him. My father. I can’t marry the men who did that.”

Tony sighed and sat next to her on the bed. “You know, they technically didn’t kill him. They were just the lookout—“

“Oh, don’t try to rationalize it, Tony! They participated in the murder of my father—“

“Oh, so he’s your father now? What happened to all that crap about your biological father?”

Fed up, she jumped up from the bed and faced him, yelling out, “I refuse to live with murderers, Tony! That’s where I draw the line!”

Then it was quiet, and they both knew that Steve and Bucky likely heard her outburst.

Tony finally broke the silence. “NYU? Really?”

“Yes. I want to go to NYU and live in Manhattan. And if you don’t accept these terms,” she thought for a moment, “I’m going to make such a big scene at the funeral that you’re going to wish I had just stayed home.”

Well. He didn’t really have a choice, now did he?

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