#all i know rambling and never clipping words lol

[becausegoodheroesdeservekidneys]

The thing with the Mari Lwyd, though, is that it's being... I don't know, 'appropriated' is the wrong word, but certainly turned into something it isn't.

Thing is, this is a folk tradition in the Welsh language, and that's the most important aspect of it. I feel partly responsible for this, because I accidentally became a bit of an expert on the topic of the Mari Lwyd in a post that escaped Tumblr containment, and I clearly didn't stress it strongly enough there (in my defence, I wrote that post for ten likes and some attention); but this is a Welsh language tradition, conducted in Welsh, using Welsh language poetic forms that are older than the entire English language, and also a very specific sung melody (with a very specific first verse; that's Cân y Fari). It is not actually a 'rap battle'. It's not a recited poem. It is not any old rhyme scheme however you want.

It is not in English.

Given the extensive and frankly ongoing attempts by England to wipe out Welsh, and its attendant cultural traditions, the Mari is being revived across Wales as an act of linguistic-cultural defiance. She's a symbol of Welsh language culture, specifically; an icon to remind that we are a distinct people, with our own culture and traditions, and in spite of everyone and everything, we're still here. Separating her from that by removing the Welsh is, to put it mildly, wildly disrespectful.

...but it IS what I'm increasingly seeing, both online and in real world Mari Lwyd festivals. She's gained enormous pop-culture popularity in recent years, which is fantastic; but she's also been reduced from the tradition to just an aesthetic now.

So many people are talking/drawing about her as though she's a cryptid or a mythological figure, rather than the folk practice of shoving a skull on a stick and pretending to be a naughty horse for cheese and drunken larks. And I get it! It's an intriguing visual! Some of the artwork is great! But this is not what she is. She's not a Krampus equivalent for your Dark Christmas aesthetic.

I see people writing their own version of the pwnco (though never called the pwnco; almost always called some variant on 'Mari Lwyd rap battle'), and as fun as these are, they are never even written in the meter and poetic rules of Cân y Fari, much less in Welsh, and they never conclude with the promise to behave before letting the Mari into the house. The pwnco is the central part to the tradition; this is the Welsh language part, the bit that's important and matters.

Mari Lwyd festivals are increasingly just English wassail festivals with a Mari or two present. The Swansea one last weekend didn't even include a Mari trying to break into a building (insert Shrek meme); there was no pwnco at all. Even in the Chepstow ones, they didn't do actual Cân y Fari; just a couple of recited verses. Instead, the Maris are just an aesthetic, a way to make it look a bit more Welsh, without having to commit to the unfashionable inconvenience of actually including Welsh.

And I don't really know what the answers are to these. I can tell you what I'd like - I'd like art to include the Welsh somewhere, maybe incorporating the first line of Cân y Fari like this one did, to keep it connected to the actual Welsh tradition (or other Welsh, if other phrases are preferred). I'd like people who want to write their version of the pwnco to respect the actual tradition of it by using Cân y Fari's meter and rhyme scheme, finishing with the promise to behave, and actually calling it the pwnco rather than a rap battle (and preferably in Welsh, though I do understand that's not always possible lol). I'd like to see the festivals actually observe the tradition, and include a link on the booking website to an audio clip of Cân y Fari and the words to the first verse, so attendees who want to can learn it ahead of time. I don't know how feasible any of that is, of course! But that's what I'd like to see.

I don't know. This is rambly. But it's something I've been thinking about - and increasingly nettled by - for a while. There's was something so affirming and wonderful at first about seeing the Mari's climb into international recognition, but it's very much turned to dismay by now, because she's important to my endangered culture and yet that's the part that everyone apparently wants to drop for being too awkward and ruining the aesthetic. It's very frustrating.

[shutupheathersorryheatherr]

“Morning, baby"

summery: a short keeho fic about the morning after sleeping together. Centered around his deep voice that he apparently has lol cause I didn’t know about it

warnings/info: suggestive, talking about “the night before” where keeho and reader had sex, gn! Reader, mentions of keehos fingers inside of reader (not specified where lol), it’s basically all centered around keehos deep voice @jasminexox5 sent a clip of to me a little bit ago, kissing, LOTS of kissing, hastily edited

•••••••••••••••••••

You rolled over, the comforter slipping down from your shoulders in the process and your eyes fluttering open. You were just in your underwear and a tee shirt, having hastily grabbed the first from the floor next to his bed the night before.

The night before... yes, the night where you both came undone around each other, wrapped in each other. Your hand unconsciously came up to your neck. The part he marked up and kissed the night before. God, his kisses. On your neck, on your stomach, on your thighs. Soft and wet, making you writhe in your place and grip the pillow he gave you for the night

His fingers is what you can't get out of your head next, seeing them next to his head as he lays there looking like an angel. A large contrast to last night when he had them curled and pumping in and out of you. That was one of the many times last night he had you begging for more of him. Those fucking fingers, you mentally scoffed.

At that time you wanted noting more than to have them in your mouth again, sucking on them as a show-- a precursor if you will, to what you wanted to do to him again. Just like last night. Making one beg for the other was each of your kryptonite. Having him where he struggles to keep his hands to himself made you want to remake last night all over again. This time with the morning light streaming in from the cracks in his curtains that made his face have that beautiful glow you loved to see so much.

that was another thing: the beautiful feature that rested perfectly in the middle of his sleeping face. His nose, to you, could not be described by means of words alone. It perfectly captures every word describing something beautiful you could think of. Sat perched tall and proud on his face, like it knew of its worth. You told Keeho a lot about how you thought his nose was so pretty, too. It seemed like you could never stop. Others might think you were overreacting. It was just a nose, right? But once you found another thing about him that made you feel all sorts of ways-- your stomach jumping with the overwhelming need for him to bring you to orgasm, the warm feeling it gave you when he pressed it into your neck while hugging you, the list could go on. But that was something worth rambling about, right?

you You sighed contently. You knew you'd have to wake him up soon. The both of you would have to get your days started sooner or later. But, as always, it seemed like he read your mind before you got the chance to say what you were thinking. His eyes blink open a few times, mimicking you a few moments ago. Or maybe it was an hour ago. Who really cared? He sparked a lot of thoughts, and all his face made you wanna do was look at it some more. You could spare a few more minutes searching and memorizing how his knuckles curved or how his pretty nose twitched in his sleep. In fact, you were sure if your boss knew what he looked like he'd let you off the hook for being late because you spent too much time taking him in and basking in his presence. That was, if you were late. Which could have very well happened if the man didn't open his eyes so soon.

You smiled as he blinked sunlight and sleep out of his eyes, your thoughts of how good he made you feel the night before dissipating from your head entirely and replaced with thoughts of him, him, him. A smirk graced his facial features as he realized you staring at him. "Morning, baby." He said, his voice surprising you. You'd heard it time and time again before, but its contrast to how he usually speaks will never fail to surprise you. It was deep and darker in tone, thicker. resembling dense wood

Well, now you were really definitely wide awake. It seamed to enchant you, flashing images of him in your mind like bright lights. You've thought about him in many ways, but not because of this. He seemed to noticed. Not clearing his throat when he said, "What? you seem a little off. Did you sleep ok?" You nodded, not really trusting yourself to speak, not knowing if you wanted to respond or not. You didn't even want to think of what him talking in that voice again would do to you. You smiled to yourself at your boyfriends antics.

He leans forward, nuzzling his nose into your exposed neck, huffing out a puff of air there. His fingers commence a shiver-up-the-spine-causing dance across your shoulders, rubbing them gently. You sigh into his hair, relaxing again, thinking that maybe he'd just get up. Thinking that maybe, just maybe you were out of the woods that was his thick as tree canopies voice. "Does that feel good, baby?" Keeho asked. That fucker. He knew exaclty what he was doing. You could see it in his eyes. In the way his lips curved up in a way that made your head spin even more.

“hm? You alright? You seem nervous?” He asked, “am I going too hard?” You shook your head. Another wordless answer as his fingertips dancing long your skin, making your hairs raise, and voice thick as slow dripping molasses makes your head spin. "Words, please." He chuckles. And although it's a simple request, thats when you cannot possibly take any more of it. Of him being so fucking-- You don't even know. Was it agrivating you? Or was it simply only turning you on too much then you'd ever thought a voice and a shoulder massage would.

You deemed it to be a mixture of both. Whatever it was, you didn't care. You flip your body around to the man behind you, causing his nimble fingers that you craved to fall off your shoulders and drop to your sides. Not exactly where you wanted them right now, but it'll have to do. They were pretty close to it anyways. Although he smiles, he still seems surprised-- confused, even, by your actions.

"Whoa, baby. What're you--" You could only provide him with a a simple, two word answer. One whispered so quietly even the sun peaking in from between your curtains would've have heard it. Not the extra blanket that had been kicked onto the floor while the both of you were sleeping, not his tee-shirt thrown off in a haste the evening before and then long forgotten. Noting and Nobody. "Want you." You breathed against his lips before diving in. "Now." You pulled apart with a whine, not wanting to leave that beautiful soft feeling of his lips. "That can be aranged." He smiled. Then pulled you against him as he laid down on the sheets, causing you to land on top of him. You sighed contently, feeling that the plushness of his lips swallowing yours whole in a needy kiss as his hands started to roam your body.

End ~~~~~~~~~~~

thank ya'll for reading!! please leave a comment and/or a reblog if you liked this! :) I got the individual pics from Pinterest by the way!

©️2023copywrightforshutupheathersorryheathr

[westside-rot]

Kill For You

Authors note: This was intended to be my first drabble but my brain wouldn't let me stop and here we are with all these words. I'll get it right and stop rambling eventually lmao

Also, I'm dipping my toe into fanfics, having fun with ideas and seeing what sticks so please be nice. It's never that serious. This has light editing so excuse any errors.

Minors dni. I do not consent to my work being copied/reposted anywhere. Stealing is lame so don't do it. Reblogs and comments are always welcome after you hit like lol

Protective husband Toji

Mentions of violence and smut *sorry not sorry*

Choosing an outfit is never easy for you. Most days it’s more like a chore and less like a first step in having fun. The way Toji’s eyes tear away from the video game he’s playing to shamelessly appraise your body is confirmation you made the right choice. Going out tonight was a last-minute decision. With limited time to get ready you opted for a backless navy-blue halter dress that showed off plenty leg without having to worry about your ass being exposed. A modest selection for the club. There’s nothing modest about the way Toji admires your curvy frame.

You pretend not to notice as you drop your phone into your purse and inform him of your plans for the evening.

“I’ll see you in a few hours. Enjoy your game. I love you.” It’s foolish to think you’d get away with a rushed explanation and a quick kiss goodbye. When Toji’s large hand catches you by the wrist you aren’t the least bit surprised to have your departure interrupted. You huff and scrunch up your nose to hide your amusement. The charade ends the moment you lock eyes. With a smirk on your face you melt into his broad defined chest and the kiss accompanying his possessive hold on your waist.

“Now let’s try this again Mrs. Fushiguro. Where do you think you’re going in this dress?”

You can’t answer right away as your husband leads you into one kiss and then another. Soon you’re in a full-blown make-out session. When he does finally let you up for air it’s a miracle you can speak. An even bigger one that your panties haven’t melted right off your ass. You explain how one of your girls is going through a bad breakup and you and the rest of the friend group have decided to get her out of the house for a night of drinks and dancing. Toji hums in what you assume to be understanding. The way his lips ghost over the creamy brown skin of your collarbone, tongue dipping between your boobs says otherwise.

“You look gorgeous my love. Maybe you should change. I don’t think I want you wearing this dress without me around.”

“Baby, I can’t. The girls will be here in five minutes. Besides, it’s been a while since I’ve felt pretty in a dress.”

He knows you’re being genuine just like he knows you don’t fault him for the long work hours and long overdue date nights. Giving you his blessing is the first step in making amends. Even though he raises you to your feet and readjusts the bottom of your dress back into place you can see the conflict happening behind his dark green eyes.

“I promise to be good.” You pout and run your fingers over the clipped black hair hanging over his forehead. He growls and pulls you closer.

“Keep your phone on. Should any man dare speak to you let them know disrespect is a crime punishable by death. Your husband is the executioner.”

“Yes sir.” You purr against his lips and erupt into a fit of giggles when he sends you on your way with a firm smack to the ass that stays with you long after you join your friends in the rideshare. It requires some convincing not to fake an illness to stay at home with your husband. Nurturing your friendships is important to you. The last thing you want is to become the friend who forsakes all others for her man. A night away from him will do you both some good. And so you turn your thoughts away from him and focus on the night ahead.

Hours later you’re regretting your decision. It’s not that you haven’t enjoyed yourself. After spending weeks going from work to home you loved every second of existing in your own bubble with your girls. The music had been on point and the drinks were nice and strong. That seemed like a good thing in the moment. By 1am you remember why you could only handle the club in small doses. The men had officially lost any sense of decency. While you understood wanting to end the night in good company, you were tired of having to relay Toji’s message to every man occupying your personal space. The massive ring on your finger should’ve been effective fuck boy repellent. Yet here you were on your fourth insincere apology. To their credit, they eventually cut their losses and backed away. There was always one that refused to take no for an answer. This particular jerk refuses to accept your no, going as

Deciding you’ve reached your fill on corny pick up lines, you and your girl decide to wait for the rest of your group outside. You've dealt with your fair share of thirsty men, none crazy enough to get physical and call you an uppity bitch for dismissing him. Pulling away only gives him reason to tighten his grip on your arm. Before you or your friend can respond with a swift kick to the balls a strong pair of hands pull the man off his feet and cast him aside like a rag doll. Your eyes practically fall out of your head when you realize it’s Toji. He’s too busy making good on his word to acknowledge your shock. While the dumb ass puts up an impressive defense he’s easily overpowered and pummeled to the ground. Every punch he throws is reciprocated with two more that land directly in his face until he's unrecognizable. Toji shows no sign of stopping. Even though you'd bet money you weren't the first woman this piece of shit has put his hands on, he isn't worth a prison sentence.

It's your voice pulling Toji back to his senses. One more punch and a kick to the ribs and he's snatching the man up by his collar to hold the man's bloody face in your direction.

“Apologize for putting your filthy hands on my wife. I’m only sparing you because she asked.

He complies and stammers out an apology through the stream of blood running down his nose into his mouth. You’re disgusted by how little you care about the beating he’s taken. Unlike the idiot before you, no one is going to force you to apologize for noticing how well your husband is filling out his thermal. In the hours since you last saw him his corded muscles appear larger and more defined underneath the black fabric. It looks painted on. The color has always been your kryptonite. Toji is wrapped in it, from his jeans down to his work boots. It’s the black beanie tugged down over his ears that turns you feral.

Toji’s voice cuts through your thoughts with a clear directive you can’t ignore. “Let’s go. All of you. NOW.” He leads you out of the club with your gaped mouth friends trailing closely behind, the crowd parting like water to let you pass. Some women gawk, one gave you a thumbs up, while other voices agreed with Toji’s methods. You have the urge to remind everyone he's your husband but decide against it.

Once in the car Toji instructs you to put everyone’s addresses into the GPS. After that the ride is tense and mostly silent. In the group chat your friends are remain crazy and undeterred as they unanimously decide Toji’s deserves immaculate head on everyone’s behalf.

You bite down a laugh then respond in chat, assuring them you will but you can't pinpoint Toji’s mood. He seems upset with you. Despite being grateful for his presence you’re somewhat annoyed with him for infiltrating your girl’s night out. Exactly how long had he been spying? Why hadn’t you noticed him before? Was he being protective, or did he not really trust you?

It pisses you off that while you’re stewing in emotions you shouldn’t feel Toji is being the perfect gentleman, not only driving your friend’s home but escorting them to the door to ensure they make it inside safely. Upon arriving home you decide you're going to sleep off your frustrations and be a responsible adult tomorrow.

Toji has other plans. Resisting your inner brat, you allow his firm yet pleading tone to keep you in your seat with arms folded across your chest.

“I’m sorry for not getting to you sooner baby. I was trying to be respectful to the hoe asking me dance and got distracted.”

The way your jaw clenches at the mention of the faceless woman proves Toji isn’t alone in his unhinged behavior. In your defense your patience runs a bit longer than his. You certainly haven’t beaten any women to a pulp for getting close. No woman had dared to touch what belonged to you either.

“Sure.”

“I got this bad feeling after you left that I couldn’t shake. Maybe it was nothing. But I rather have you upset with me than ignore my gut and something happens. You’re my entire world. I can't exist without you.”

Suddenly you’re climbing into your wonderful man’s lap to shower him with appreciation one kiss at a time across his beautiful face. You’re a brat that needs to correct her attitude. To further drive home the point you drag your tongue over his scar then back down to his chin, bearing your teeth and latching on. Toji’s lips curve into a vulgar smile but otherwise appears unfazed.

“How do you intend to make it up to me brat?”

His dick, hard and restricted against the crotch of your panties sends a message to put action to words. You comply with eager hands fumbling with his belt as you lean back on the steering wheel. “By letting you use me. You can start by fucking me right here in the driveway.”

He groans as though he’s already inside of you. What you mistake for passion on the verge of release is restraint to keep both hands firmly at your waist. He refuses to touch the intimate parts of you with soiled hands. Another reason to despise the piece of shit from earlier. But you’re too horny to argue. You practically race up the driveway, fumbling with keys to unlock the front door. The kitchen to wash your hands or a shower. You can’t decide. Toji makes the decision for you.

“Take off your panties.” Pulling them down your shapely legs, you toe the lace off to the side along with your heels. You abruptly clamp on the taunt you’ve prepared when you see him kneel before you, presenting his shoulders as a thrown he wishes you to occupy. Always mindful of safety you drape one leg across him and keep the other on the ground for leverage until he demands your trust. You comply. Your husband is a strong man. You’re reminded how much when he straightens his back, hoisting you off the ground, trapping you between the door at your back and the tongue in your pussy.

You close your eyes and surrender to weightlessness, tugging at his hair and mewling your pleasure, vocal but not too loud. You want to hear him lewdly slurp at his meal, burying his face in it like he’s eager to drown and die a satisfied man. His tongue is just as big as the rest of him. You love the way he alternates between the wavelike motions against your clit to stuffing your needy walls. It doesn’t take long to come like this. You whimper his name on its arrival, shudder then relax on his shoulders with your feet set firmly at the center of his back. When he finally sets you on the ground with a suckling kiss to each thigh you follow him on shaky legs into the kitchen.

The energy shifts from two wantons chasing pleasure to comedic and downright absurd. Toji has you pinned in front of him at the sink, his burly figure towering over you in playful competition for his share of the running water all while he struggles to penetrate you handsfree. You wish you could see how silly he looks with his jeans below his ass grinding near your entrance like some inexperienced teenager. The failed attempts have given your abs the workout you haven’t asked for. You’re the drunk one. Toji has no excuse for his antics but you’re honored he trusts you with this silly version of himself, a side the world doesn’t know exists.

"Spread your legs a little wider—push your ass up."

"Give up please." Laughter splutters from you when he notches the head between your folds, almost but not quite. The way he dips and rolls his hips as if he's sure it'll get him where he needs to be put tears in your eyes. "You’re trying to kill me." Resting your head on the counter, you give up attempting to wash your hands to fully commit to laughing. Toji joins in while taking full advantage of the water.

"Not at all gorgeous. I’m trying to fuck you." He doesn’t bother to dry off his now thoroughly washed hands as guides himself to your entrance. He reaches his target on the first try. Neither of you is laughing anymore.

The first thrust is always the sweetest. Especially when you’ve gone deprived for so long.

"There ya go. Shut that pretty fuckin mouth and let me inside." He kicks your legs apart to widen your stance and ruts into your ass. You nearly submerge your head under the water from the impact but recover quickly, stretching your soapy fingertips into the water instead and deepening the arch in your back. It gives him a full display of your ass bouncing off his pelvis and aligns him with just the right spot. He drills you for several heavenly minutes then fucks you into a standing split. Somehow you manage to cut off the water and just in time because he's snatched you off your feet, locking your knees over his elbows to fuck you midair.

There's nothing gentle about the way he fucks you. He fucks you like he's upset, like he's secretly harboring a grudge he doesn't want to speak on. You love it but feel as though you owe him another apology.

Toji isn’t giving you the chance to speak. Even as he walks you into the living room, he’s slamming you down on his dick, knocking the words right out of you. He’s relentless even in the way he places you back on your feet and jerks you around by the hair to segue right back to hard thrusts in one disorienting motion.

"I’m sorry. I’ll burn the dress—Don’t be mad." You wail over the sound of his balls colliding with your ass and frantically attempt to leverage yourself on the couch. He’s quick to restrain both arms behind your back, locking them at the elbow in a one-armed restraint. His free hand snakes your throat. There’s nowhere to run even if you want to. You don’t. He slams into you numerous times before his brain processes what you managed to say.

"What? No baby--just need to feel you and remind myself you’re mine... beautiful and all fucking mine."

"All yours. Only fucking yours." You echo the words. It earns you more sharp thrusts in powerful succession, the intensity forcing you on to the tips of your toes. You chant the words through your delirium and yield as he cranes you backwards by a makeshift ponytail to roughly kiss his way into your mouth. Not the most comfortable position but you love being treated like his personal doll. It doesn’t matter that you watched him mark his territory in the most violent way possible or how ridiculous it might seem to need the reassurance. He's a man, your man, the person you vowed to spend your life with. If he needs his ego stroked, you'll gladly stroke it. Perhaps not in the way he’s stroking your insides but close enough for him to feel cherished and irreplaceable. He deserves it after giving you some of the best orgasms of your life.

All you can do is scream your praise when the third one hits. Every nerve ending in your body feels like tiny focal point detonating at once. The pleasure overtakes you, seizing control of your limbs and coherence. You topple over the couch’s armrest to sob face first in the cushions below. Tremors ripple through your fingers down to your toes now arched and pointed at the ceiling. You fear any sudden movement will remove you from this new blissed out existence. So you don’t. You remain in your wilted position, crying and fully possessed by endless quaking yet aware enough to sense Toji kneeling at eye level. Warm hands caress your face, coaxing a gratified drunken smile to confirm you hadn’t passed out.

"Did I break you?"

“Uh-uh.”

His thumb catches your bottom lip and pries your mouth open. "I’m putting you to bed."

Instantly you muster the strength to speak. "Nooo. Just gimme a minute."

His laughter soothes your rapid pulse and puts breath back into your lungs. You think you won’t need the minute you requested. Not anymore. You only need him to find his way back home. Toji ignores your pleas with soothing kisses to your nose and lips. He guides you out of the awkward position you landed in and carries you to your bedroom.

It's a welcome change to be returned to your plush bed with your husband looming over you, gaze imbued with love you'll never get tired of seeing, removing the dress still gathered at your waist as though you'll break if he handles you poorly. He removes what remains of his attire and rejoins you on the bed. Finally you’re both gloriously naked. You pull him down on top of you, hard lines melding with soft russet contours and entangled limbs sharing a single heartbeat.

He fucks into you slow, takes his time delving to where your soul resides, whispering his devotion against your damp skin. When you reach orgasm for the last time he isn’t far behind you, filling you with his cum, marking you as his. It isn’t until he pulls out, when the urge to watch his cum leak from your spent body is too great to ignore do you realize how turned on you were watching him defend your honor. It’s toxic to wish for such things but it’s a subject you refuse to drop until you’ve talked it out with your husband. Toji will have to be the one to put a stop to your fantasy, that or replace it with something different, something better. Until then you drift back to the present, shut your eyes, and plan out your next outfit.

[horny-p0et]

incelbur blurb part three

another one. don't need an intro at this point you know what this is. although i saw lovejoy live recently and am pretty happy about it. you have probably seen the photos i took shared around already by my friends lol but you'll never know its me ;)

things are getting weird and gross in this series now, heads up.

part one + part two

warnings: masturbation, nonconsensual phone sex and filming, sexist language and attitudes, alcohol abuse.

wordcount: 1567

dont like, dni. please just block me and move on.

────୨ৎ────

INCELBUR who's hands were shaking when he sent the first message to your discord. typing the word 'hey' had never been so hard before. he keeps checking to see if you've responded, its the weekend- you shouldn't be that busy... he finds himself filled with regret and disgust, why did he start talking to you again? you're just some girl, nothing worthwhile anyway. you were probably busy sucking some guys cock-

"heyy! sorry i was studying so i didn't have notifications on. did u wanna game sometime today?"

"yeah that would be cool. what did you wanna play?"

INCELBUR who was caught off guard when you suggest to play fortnite duos, he didn't think girls liked games with guns. he's even more surprised when you drop into the game and he finds out you've been playing for years and are honestly better than him at the game. it pisses him off, he wanted to impress you with his skills and now you're having to revive him every round. it's emasculating, he hates feeling like he's useless.

INCELBUR who almost ended the call because of how frustrated the game was making him until you cheer when he gets a kill, and praise him when he does well. your soft voice in his ear is like the best sort of asmr, it sends shivers up his spine when you say 'you're doing so good', he can imagine you whining that while he pounds your pussy.

INCELBUR who couldn't believe three hours had gone by and you're suddenly telling him you're ready to hop off for the night. he wants to beg for you to stay, just one more game, but he doesn't want to sound needy. he isn't a simp, after all. you tell him you'll be on tomorrow and he tells you he'll be there. of course he would, he's always on his computer.

INCELBUR who has to jerk off after the call is over, he'd been hard for most of the conversation already and it was aching by that point. he didn't tell you he'd been recording while you gamed together, he will go back through the video later and clip every time you groan in frustration or squeal in excitement into an audio just for him. the thought of his depravity has him shooting ropes onto his hand within minutes, he didn't even have time to open the photos of you on his phone.

INCELBUR who feels like he's drifting aimlessly until you guys talk again, the sporadic text conversations aren't cutting it. he needs more, he needs your touch, to smell you again. when you see him at school you greet him with a smile, even when your friends give him weird looks you look at him like he's human. it makes him feel alive, important, like he only exists under your gaze.

INCELBUR who has been talking to you for about two weeks, he's never talked to a girl this long before without her running away. it's not his fault, he asks them for nudes and suddenly he's a 'creep' and a 'pervert'. if they didn't want him that way why did they bother talking to him anyway? but you're different. he can't mess this up, even if talking to you is blissful torture because all he wants to do is shove his tongue in your pretty mouth.

INCELBUR who can't help himself but touch his cock while you're on voice call together, it started with him just rubbing himself through his pants and before long he'd have his hand wrapped around himself as you ramble about something. he knows it's wrong, its some fucked up exhibitionist shit, but you are too good to resist. he can't help himself- if your voice wasn't so hot. it's your fault not his.

"god, my course work is killing me recently. i feel like i get no free time anymore, i know it's important but sometimes i just wanna dropout and forget about university. do you know what i mean?"

"... what? oh, yeah... it's.. really hard.."

INCELBUR who gets angrier when he see's you hanging out with guys now that you guys are friends. he's possessive, he wants your attention on him and no one else. seeing you out at clubs on social media is brutal, he wants to demand you stay home and game with him instead. or better yet, come to his place and ride his cock while he bites your neck. he loves the idea of covering you with marks, then everyone would know you belong to him and him alone.

INCELBUR who cringes when you talk about boys on your voice chats. you guys were just playing minecraft and suddenly you're complaining about some chad you're seeing. you sound so stupid in his eyes, of course guys like that are going to treat you badly. they aren't nice guys like him. he's bitter and spiteful, you would be happy if you weren't so blind to the ideal male specimen right in front of you.

INCELBUR who calls you at an obscene time in the middle of the night while he's wanking. he's so close, he just needs your help getting over that edge. you mumble his name in a groggy voice, he'd woken you up and he doesn't care, that single word sends him spiralling and he's stained his sheets with his seed. you ask him if he needs anything and he apologises and tells you its a buttdial and abruptly hangs up.

INCELBUR who should feel guilty about using your kindness to his benefit, but he wouldn't have to if you'd notice how much he wanted you. he showers for you, he buys you skins in game, he walks you to classes he doesn't share with you just to get an extra few minutes around you. he knows your friends don't like him, they think he's a loser. but you defend him every time, he knows you love him- you must just be too shy to tell him.

INCELBUR who sees you at a bar one night and decides to 'accidently' run into you there. maybe if you're drunk you will let loose and dance with him. or even better, drag him into the bathroom for a quickie. the idea has him hard as a rock as he struggles to put on his skinny jeans. he sprays too much deodorant and cologne on, sprays some product he doesn't know how to use into his curls and splashes water on his face until his acne has flared up noticeably.

INCLEBUR who hates being in public. he feels like everyone is staring at him and thinking about how ugly he is, this bar feels like it's been turned up to eleven. he sticks out like a sore thumb because of his height and skinny build, he almost turns around and goes home until he sees you at the bar. alone. perfect.

"oh, y/n... didn't expect to run into you here. what are the chances?"

"oh my god, wilbur! what the fuck are you doing out of the house?"

"buying you a drink, hopefully."

INCELBUR who can smell the alcohol on your breath and see the way your lipstick is smudged, who the fuck have you been kissing? he considered asking so he could deck the guy but decides against it. you're smiling at him and it makes him docile, you could get him to do anything if you asked. it makes him feel pathetic, a love sick fool, but he can't ignore those feelings.

INCELBUR who buys you a drink just like he said he would, even when you protest and tell him he doesn't need to. you need to see him as a gentleman, a man who can provide for you. a good man, a great boyfriend too. your arm keeps touching his as you lean against the bar, it sends shockwaves straight to his dick and he's confident if you looked down you could see the outline of his boner through the denim.

INCELBUR who leans in you kiss you and you turn away, his lips finding your cheek instead. you tell him you aren't interested in him like that, he's sweet, but he's just a friend. you tell him to take it slow, that you like having him around and he means a lot to you. just not in the way he likes you, he thinks bitterly. he feels like crying, he's humiliated. he considered grabbing you by the back of the head and making you kiss him anyway, maybe if you felt his lips on yours you'd realise how amazing he was. but he decides against hit, the last thing he wants is to make you hate him. he hates himself enough already.

INCELBUR who leaves a few minutes after that, he can't stand the shame he feels because of his transgression. of course you don't love him, who could love a freak like him? he's ugly, he has no future, he's never even kissed anyone before. he shouts at a random couple he passes on the way home, telling the man his girl is a whore who will just break his heart. he punches a tree on a quiet street until his knuckles bleed and he stumbles into a bottle shop to grab some vodka. he's finished half the bottle before he's made it home, stumbling and crying.

[zandlikething]

Perler bead qsmp eggs I made the same day they left

I haven't posted anything about it because I was still processing it. I thought Sense the eggs were coming back all the eggs would come back I was very sad to see them go but I understand why the admins left and respect their choice in leaving so please no one harass the admins

I have a message to the admins that played the eggs in the picture ( which I doubt they will see but I want to get it off my chest) so lots of rambling from this point on be warned.

Lullah: Lullah you were one of the first eggs I got really attached to and it was because of clips of you Chayanne and Philza that originally got me into the qsmp. Seeing how much you grew was so cool to see.

Seeing you go from a shy little egg who likes flowers and music to a bad ass egg who would do anything for her loved ones. An egg who survived so much and went through so much hurt but also a lot of joy.

Lullah you brought a lot of joy into people's life you certainly did mine and I can't wait to see what you do next.

Chayanne: Chayanne my first introduction to you was the clip of Max yelling at you cause you blew a hole on his property ( I know that was another admin this is for both) Chayanne you were always so chaotic and fun but so loving and protective of your siblings.

Your rivalry with Quackity was always so funny to see a grown man beffing with a pixel egg in Minecraft. You honestly remind me of my older brother which probably explains why I would relate to Lullah sometimes lol

I hope whatever you're doing you are doing great at it and I hope you know how much you did for this community

Pomme: Pomme I remember when you first arrived with the rest of the French I remember how sweet you were to everyone around you and how much fun you would have with all your parents. I would watch Bad pov a lot and the stream would always get brighter when you showed up.

Your connection to all the eggs were super sweet and all your lore was so interesting. Seeing you bond with Bad and Dapper was so cute and then Bad becoming your Dad and Dapper your brother was so cute. It was never "official" but it didn't need to be it didn't matter all that matter was you guys were family

I like all the Pomme times we got and one of my favorite streams was just following the eggs around mainly you and Dapper. It was so interesting and cool to see what you guys did and say without your parents around. I also found it cool we had something in common because I love RWBY too in fact if you scroll down my Tumblr you'll see some post I did on RWBY a few years ago.

Thank you Pomme I'm happy to see you and Dapper in Bads chat sometimes I can't wait to see what projects you'll work on next

Richardson: My boi the most bold egg lol your antics would always make me laugh. All the pranks you pulled on Bad and all the times you teased him to get a reaction were so funny. You were by far the most chaotic egg you would just pop up out of nowhere in anyone's stream it would always get more chaotic even if just a little.

Honestly your goodbye and final words made me cry yup you not Chayanne and Lullah and Philza saying goodnight you who just walked into the sunset was the greatest thing ever. The memorial you made for you Dapper and Pomme was so good I love it and I want you to know that I learned a lot about Brazil because of you and your parents I want to go to Brazil one day now somewhere I've never thought about going.

Goodbye you little rascal I hope whatever you're doing your doing it with chaos

Dapper: Dapper you are my favorite I immediately was drawn to you and your top hat. I first saw you in a Philza stream protecting Lullah from Quackity and I started watching Bad ever since.

I remember when Quackity kidnapped you in a desert temple and how scared I and the rest of the chat was. Little did we know how common that would become lol how many times did you get kidnapped like 7.

You and Bad's lore was my favorite I loved your guys father and son connection. It was clear to see how much Bad cared about you and how you cared for him back. You guys made such a good team with all the stuff you made with the create mod.

I relate to you the most for a few reasons one being all the animals you had and collected. I am a big animal person so if I could actually have cool mythical and cool animals I would but also one of my favorite signs from you is "he can't handle the uber powers of my uber autism" This made me laugh so much I am on the spectrum so when I saw this clip I was Ohhhh that's probably why I relate to this Minecraft egg so much lol

Dapper thank you for really getting me into the qsmp there were some ruff patches and a little drama but through it all I had a good time

Thank you for introducing me to Badboyhalo I now have found one of my new favorite streamers

Thank you all of qsmp for helping me and many others through our days and for an amazing year I will still watch qsmp as long as Bad streams it but I have a feeling it's going to be time to say goodbye soon. So thank you qsmp I am sad not to have these streams in this next chapter of my life but I am happy for when you were you helped me get through.

But you know what they say everyone:

"Don't cry because it's over,smile because it" happened

[yongislong]

intimate moments + 127

wc/genre: 2,010k... fluff, domestic, angsty?? suggestive? mayhaphs. established relationships with nonidol!127. not proofread oof

cw/note: no cws i dont think but lmk! ty for requesting anon! requests are always open btw hehe! but YUUPP yknow what time it is my first 127 headcannons muahaha so here we go :> mark and haechan are in the dreamies post. i used and and like a lot im SORRY LMFAO but tysm for the support :") i was surprised people liked my other stuff sm! im quite insecure about the way i wrote bc.. i write how i talk haha, its kind of a mess. i wish i could make my posts a lot cuter and stuff but school is tiring, i appreciate all of your love lately though, this was all for myself and first bc i was going through it but im glad people enjoy it! sorry this is so long i just wanted to let yall know a bit more abt me! :D

taeil… cooking: GOD im having taeil brainrot bc he was on that baby show, and him ripping that crab with his bare hands.... sickening. bc UGH he is such husband material. imagining you both in the kitchen cooking and he's genuinely such a menace and you cant hear the music you suggested to play, anymore bc his smooching noises are so LOUD and suddenly the homemade pho you were both attempting to make while wearing matching aprons is on the verge of being forgotten lol. you finally give in after much name calling from him and let him press your cheeks together to give you a wet, loud smooch on your forehead. theres something about cooking to taeil thats so personal and adult-y to him. like oh my god here you both are, sitting in your VERY cute shared apartment, sharing a very nice bowl of noodles as the roses he planted now lay in a small mint green vase on your tiny dining room table. its something about the domesticity of working on something together, enjoying yourselves while doing it AND getting to eat the end product of said hard work, that he finds incredibly fullfilling. sitting across the love of his life. another thing he likes to do is prop his feet next to your right thigh on your chair and you do the same. you guys have your legs resting on each others chairs under the table. sometimes he pulls on the skin of your calf and when you complain you haven't shaven he rolls his eyes and seems to swat your words out of the air in front of him. long story short he just watches you ramble on about your day at work, until he stares for too long and hasn't realized you're practically shaking the life out of him because he never answered your questions about whether or not he gave brina and brita their fish food

johnny... sharing a book: johnny pegs me as someone who's super patient! maybe he's not bc... parasocial relationships LOL but in his interactions with everyone else, like that one jcc where mark doesn't want frozen yogurt and he was so nice abt it! but similarly to renjun, its nice to share something in bed but also both be consuming the same content yknow? he also seems to me like the type of guy who, likes to finish something before moving on to the next big thing WHICH means.... you spending about 5 months going through the entire percy jackson series PFTT. but its SOO GOOD and you both get so into it and after you finish the first two books you immediately both skip lectures or work the next day just to watch the movies and you both lose your minds at how bad they are TT. but yes its such a nice time to unwind! he loves having you lay between his legs, head on his collarbone as his arms circle around your torso to lay the book on your hipbone. he always waits for you to finish before he turns the page ofc! he also bought a little reading light that can be clipped on the the binding of the outside of the book and illuminate the pages in case reading went on a lot longer than expected. the bookmark that holds your place in the story was a polaroid picture of you sleeping HOWEVER it got replaced to a picture of you looking thru a glass of wine and it makes your face look all warped and funny lol. johnny always smiles when he sees it so its a good way to begin reading time hehe. kinda obvious but his body heat + his room + the smell of his lingering cologne on his sheets is chefs kiss, extra points if the apartment still smells like coffee from this morning OR the bottle of red wine he opened that sits on the nightstand </3

taeyong... customizing clothes together: GODDDD ya'll would be the most well dressed couple ever dude. yong is so creative, and i sense that he would want his partner to share his same taste at least when it comes to clothes and art! this isn't something you both do often bc... life lol but it started when you were cleaning out your shared closet. both sprawled on the floor, as you begin complaining about how you've both found pieces of clothing that you felt guilty about throwing away. then! yong suggests going to the craft/vintage store to see if theres any way to up-cycle what you've found. so thats how you spend the summer weekend. sat on the plush fuchsia rug in your living room, surrounded by denim, fabric squares, 80s brooches, lace, ribbon, etc etc as you spend the humid and sticky afternoon binging nana while you both sit in creative/comfortable silence, gluing and pining and sewing things to various articles of clothing. its SO cozy, funk music plays from the mini speaker you guys co-own and at the end of the task, you give each other a private fashion show styling your new clothes! he adores watching you pretend to model and eggs you on sm "y/n you need to consider doing this for real, everything looks good on you its not fair," this day is something that you both remember for a while. there were shared childhood stories, insecurities, dreams and you both were so much more vulnerable because there was something to distract yourselves with. the night ends in an absolute destruction of your living room floor, but accompanied with a cuddle session in his bed, the sounds from the ceiling fan and his heart beat almost make you sleepy, almost missing his whispered compliments and soft neck kisses.

yuta... hair: ok i know this is super vague but as a fellow scorpio who loves doing things to their hair, theres nothing more i want in life than someone to be able to do those things with! like ugh late night hair salon time with yuta, yup. this goes along so well with trust as well. i mean he's letting you cut, dye and style his hair and vice versa. i feel like he'd be with someone who's more edgy and this would be such a raw moment for you as a couple LIKE you're changing each other's appearances and its a time of patience. listening is extremely important as well and whenever you go through a new hair phase, sitting down at the sink and soaking up what the other has to say and practically baring their souls out while the bleach is very much stinging the top of his scalp is really fascinating LMAO, needless to say you guys aren't the typical couple, but it works. the amount of understanding and empathy you've both adopted for one another is lovely! and not to mention is super cute when yuta crinkles his nose, his teeth peeking out just a bit from the opening of his lips, because he absolutely needed a blonde wolf cut and hair is very much getting all over his face. in moments like this he doesn't think he would trade your adorable and super hot according to him concentration face. ALSOOO angsy, hot, jrock inspired couple photos are a must and yes, everyone on campus is jealous.

doyoung... driving: CORNYY BOOO yes ik, but guys? him driving, in that domestic ass button up and black thick rimmed glasses. he needs to be in jail bc he absolutely would be that bf to throw rocks at your window even though, yes you live together and yes its an apartment complex but, he wants you to feel that super giddy like, puppy bunny love again and he almost brought a boombox to play to play head over heels by tears for fears but... too much according to jaehyun lol. so anyways he loves late night drives with you. or any drives really! his favorites are a combination of picking you up late night from work and getting to hear all the drama whilst you guys eay in-n-out in the parking lot. and listen, im not trying to push the doyoung medical student agenda but... i 100% am and his reasoning for these late nights is because he's soooo busy! he feels guilty he doesn't take you out to nicer places and you always have to reassure him that anywhere he goes with you, is automatically a win in your books. its moments like these where he really grasps how lucky he is. oh wow.... you really do love him and it FREAKS him out in the best way. every night always ends sappy bc he's so GROSS geez. he's such a romantic in a way you would never expect. he's not cheesy or arrogant about loving you, and he never considers it something he has to do either. he just fully, truly and honestly wants to worship the ground you walk on. DON'T even get me started on drive-in movies omg. basically his cherry red car is your safe space lol </3

jaehyun... record swapping: tha music man muahaha. my heart tells me you both met in a vintage record store AHH, he saw you and his heart physically ached like when you see a pretty person in public, yeah but x 100 like he got the wind knocked out of him and he fucking drops, the stack of chet baker records he had on hand and his ears look like red bell peppers and he wants to crawl away until you rush over not like run but brisk walking? lol as you help him pick up all the vinyls he dropped.you noticed in between the pile of 50s music he had a limited edition vinyl of on of your favorite bands and that had you whipping your head up and noticing how soft he looked all flushed and dimples peaking out from the thin line on his lips. definition of he fell first but you fell harder ESPECIALLY on ya'll's second/third date. he invited you over to his house and requested you to bring your best albums. AND GODDDD the date was... truly when you fell harder for him. you spent the night swapping albums aka baring your souls and sitting on his kitchen counter as he paces back and forth in front of you as he goes on a tangent about his favorite artist. its like the world slows down and you both leave that date with a new record from the other and a notion that you were definitely falling in love with each other

jungwoo... bubble baths: GAAHHH TT. tell me, that jungwoo wouldn't adore relaxing with a full on bubble bath with you. and i'm talking like bubblegum flavored soap, bath bombs, dried flowers, candles, mood lighting???? its too good. after the first couple of times you've done it, he learns your habits and favorite smells as well as the right way to position you in the tub bc he takes up sm of it LOL. and if you're both tall... you make it work! hehe. but DUDE once he learns how to juggle this intimate activity LMFAO he buys stuff specifically for your sunday reset bubble baths OMG, like that board that stands across the tub just so he can set his laptop on it. yes its just bc he wants to watch disney movies and real house wives while unwinding haha. he's so sweet though, being all pretty with his skin a little glowy because of the steam coming from the water, his eyebrows brush up from when he swiped water on his eyes and his eyes twinkling once he stacks a bunch of bubbles on your head in a makeshift crown. he likes to give u bubbly shoulder kisses BOOOOOOO yes im jealous bc he's perfect and OFC he picks out the perfect pjs and warms them up in the dryer and sits you on the bathroom counter just so he can do your skincare for you </3

[just-a-carrot]

random post that i won't even tag because it's just rambly thoughts and because now all of you have me thinking about their voices so much LOL it's very difficult for me to describe what genzou sounds like in my head, perhaps the most difficult of all the chars 🤣 it's like a mostly lower but very crackly voice that every once in a while will jump up when he's excited or mad, while also having a really snarky playful tone to it most of the time

but if i were forced to find something that closely approximates it so i could use it to direct a VA or something, it would probably be something like this:

also random but was watching youtube clips the other day and realized this would be a great voice direction for iggy, as it really gets across the slight raspy whininess plus voice-cracking when he laughs or is emotional that i always imagine in my head for him lakdjfa:

i probably will not ever actually add voices to OW. for multiple reasons, that i just simply do not have money to add voices to this nearly 300k word visual novel LOL but also i've lived with them as the voices in my head for so long that it might be really jarring for me to hear others as them. i don't know. i have very conflicting feelings about it perhaps LKDJFADS either way though i would never have the money anyway 🤣

[markosbabymama]

yipppeee!!! :) in that case can i pls get a ck matchup?

i’m 5’3” (160 cm) , i have stone blue eyes but they change to green or grey depending on the day. my hair is wavy and shoulder length and it’s the color of cinnamon. i have dark freckles under my right eye but not my left. im on the lighter-tannish side and i have a sharp button nose.

i’m an aquarius rising and sun , and i’m a pisces moon. i’m an introverted extrovert and an entp. i have anxiety and adhd. i tend to hyperfixate on things very easily. i love film, and writing, and reading. horror is my favorite genre of book and movie. my love language is physical touch and words of affirmation. my aesthetic per-say is modern downtown girl meets 70s downtown girl.

i love music si much it’s a big part of my life. i’m learning to speak spanish and i tend to talk a lot if you couldn’t already tell. rambling is a big habit of mine.

i’m so sorry ml for writing like 3 full paragraphs 😭😭 mwah mwah tysm <3333

u are literally the cutest ever?!🩷🥹

you are made for miguel sorry i don’t make the rules

.

UGH HEIGHT DIFFERENCE !!

he loves to lean down and kiss u literally his favorite thing ever.

he’ll randomly give u piggy back rides or pick u up bridal style and thinks it’s the funniest thing ever

.

loves loves LOVES UR EYES!!!!

literally kisses ur eyelids bc he loves your eyes sm

*looks down at u while ur cuddling him* “when we get married and have kids they better have your eyes, or else i don’t want em.” *slaps his chest* “miguel!”

takes random pics of ur eyes while they’re in light

.

loves to run his hands threw ur hair. it’s therapeutic for him.

definitely tried to braid it and fails miserably but it’s the thought that counts.

randomly buys u claw clips and hair ties🥹

has a hair tie on his wrists at all times just in case.

.

once tired to kiss all the freckles on ur face to see if he could do it LOL

obvi he couldn’t but it’s okay cus he loves to kith u lol.

always admired ur freckles. thinks it’s the prettiest thing on the planet.

.

NOSE KISSES ARE A DAILY THING.

kisses ur nose as many times as human can.

loves to pinch ur nose as well lolz

he loves ur nose sm

.

he’s honestly always by you’re side since he knows it takes time for u to warm up to ppl

especially at party’s.

he will never leave ur side EVER.

only time he does is to get u a drink. but even then he’s like “u sure ur okay by urself? promsie??”

and let’s say u have an anxiety attack/ ur overwhelmed by something

MY GOD HES WAISTING NO TIME

he will run to your side so fast to make sure you’re okay.

will do breathing exercises with you, rub your back, give you water, talk u threw it, he will literally not move from ur side unless you say to.

.

loves how u get so invested in something

like he will literally go out of his way to make sure he knows everything abt ur hyper fixation

no matter wtf it is. it could be abt rocks and this man will search how many there are, JUST to talk to u abt it.

adores reading horror books/ watching horror movies with u.

he’ll wrap his whole body around u with twelve blankets on a couch and just sit there listening to you tell him about facts abt the movie, the cast, where it was filmed, ect.

loves watching u write

will literally just sit next to u and watch

HE ADORES EVERYTHING U DO MAN🥹

.

loves how passionate u are abt music

makes a special playlist just for u.

is proud when u add a song from his playlist to urs

“U LIKE THIS SONG???” *smiles like a six year old*

.

i honestly believe miguel is touchy too so he LOVES when u can’t keep ur hands off him

not in a sexual way, in a loving, caring, sweet way🖤

holds onto ur waist all the time

y’all definitely link arms all the time

he’s always touching u and the other way around. y’all can’t keep each others hands off the other.

“you’re the best thing that ever happened to me, mi amor.”

.

loves ur style and loves going shopping with u.

will hold up a pair of boots and go

“omg this would look so pretty on u mi amor.”

also loves finding lil hats for u to wear.

will blow every last dollar he has to buy u clothes.

*walks in with 5 giant bags* “Y/N, I HAVE A SUPRISE FOR YOUUU!!”

.

UGH LOVES CUS UR LEARNING SPANISH??!?!?!

literally is ur tutor

“Eres el amor de mi vida.” *looks over to him* “what did u just say, miguel? *smiles from ear to ear.* “nothiiinggg.”

u find out like three days later and kiss the shit out of him. LMAO

leaves lil love notes in spanish in ur locker everyday 🥹

so proud of u when u have your first full convo in spanish.

“YOU DID IT!!! IM SO PROUD OF YOU MI AMOR!” *tackles u and kisses ur face.*

so much shit talking happens at school.

miguel: “¿Viste su traje?”

y/n: “Sí, oh Dios mío. ella se parece a mi abuela.”

*both of u dying of laughter*

.

A/N: THIS WAS SO FUN TO WRITE MY GOODNESSSSSS. i really hope u enjoy this cause i had a blast writing it. love ya!!🩷🥹

[riddlerosehearts]

Okay now EYE must ask you - how are you liking BG3??? How far are you?? Tell me about your Tav!!!! (Please and thank you <3)

hi!! 💖 i only started the game a few days ago and it was an impulse decision i made after having previously told a friend of mine that i definitely wanted to play it but that it'd probably take me a while to get around to it (and, because i thought i wouldn't play anytime soon i hadn't really been trying to avoid spoilers). but, i have the PC version and while it generally runs just fine, my computer is kind of slow and the game is so big that it took hours to download and install. so i kind of went ahead and started to come up with a whole character idea during that time LOL. sorry if my explanations of things get a bit too rambly/disorganized. i'm actually not very far in the game at all yet, i've been spending a ton of time doing stuff in the druids grove and i'm supposed to go find halsin but i haven't even gotten karlach in my party yet! i've recruited all the main companions except for her but i am excited to meet her. gonna put the rest of this under a cut for length.

my only background with DND is that i listened to the first campaign of the adventure zone and i've watched the legends of vox machina show. i also have a friend who's super into her own DND campaign and another friend who's told me a lot about dimension 20, specifically fantasy high--and i've considered trying it out for her but haven't gotten around to it yet! i think she actually told me the same thing about the episode lengths making it easier to get into than critical role, because i had tried critical role and it was just so long that i couldn't stick with it. but, yeah, i've also looked at the forgotten realms wiki a bit but i've never actually played DND. i have played skyrim and final fantasy 14 and some other similar RPGs with customizable blank-slate protagonists, and in those types of games i always have to make OCs to roleplay as--usually i'll think up a basic idea to start with and then flesh the character out as i get into the game. they're never really self-inserts but i do often project onto them a little.

so, in games like these my first character is usually an elf that specializes in elemental/destructive magic. idk why, that's just what i've always liked. in ff14 i started out as a black mage without knowing it was the hardest class to play LMAO. soooo i went into this planning to create a high elf sorcerer, but as i started writing out ideas and thinking about what to do, i ended up creating a half-high elf bard. they're transmasc/nonbinary and in my head they use he/they pronouns, but i picked the nb option in the character creator and that causes npcs to actually use they/them in dialogue which i think is so cool. i love that the character creator is so inclusive in regards to gender.

anyway, i named them elenion, which is something i took from the lord of the rings universe because i'm a huge nerd. in LOTR it's an elvish word that basically means "of the stars". here's a couple screenshots i took when i first started. let's just ignore the fact that this hairstyle clips into elf ears (and also that the face preset is from a mod i downloaded).

i didn't really give him a tragic backstory or even the most interesting story haha--i'm wanting to do something bigger and angstier with another character on a second playthrough when i'm more familiar with the lore and world of the game. and i'll probably also end up changing or expanding on some things about this character later, but for now i just kind of made a normal guy with normal problems. i had this idea that his father, a human who attracted the attention of a beautiful elf woman, was also a bard and was a very successful musician in his youth. so elenion has always shared his father's passion and dreamed of being like him, being able to effortlessly tell incredible tales and inspire crowds of people through song, but no matter how much he studies and practices he never feels good enough. if he seems confident it's usually just because he's gotten really good at faking it. he's also pretty reserved and often avoids having to talk about himself by asking a lot of questions. see, i kind of wanted to specifically find a way to not roleplay the usual sort of loud, flirty, goofy bard, lol. not that i dislike those kinds of characters or anything though!

however, bards are meant to be super charismatic, witty, and persuasive and of course the game strongly encourages that with the dialogue options and skill bonuses you get. so my way of explaining this is to have elenion be a bit like raine from the owl house, in that they may be shy, but they're very firm in their ideals and are no pushover when it comes to protecting themself or their allies. they're clever and have a snarky side to them, and they're genuinely friendly and caring in a way that gives them a sense of quiet charisma. which reminds me that one of the spells i gave them at the start was sleep, and it's made me imagine that when they were a kid they tried calming a crying baby by playing a lullaby on their lute and accidentally ended up casting their first spell.

oh, and, i also wasn't really sure at first where in the world i wanted elenion to come from but i decided on something pretty quickly after getting multiple of those dialogue options suggesting that the protagonist is baldurian! i pictured them growing up in a somewhat small town with their family but moving to baldur's gate as an adult, hoping that if they left the comfort of their home and started to journey out into the world a little they'd eventually find their spark and become the bard they wanted to be. unfortunately they've had little luck so far because even after all this time they can't see that maybe their whole fixation on trying to be just like their father and achieve the exact same kind of success that he had is holding them back. the fact that their father died the year after they moved away hasn't helped either. and now, in the middle of traveling to a historical site that they'd wanted to see in person and use as inspiration for a song, they've been abducted by mindflayers and are struggling with the massive upheaval that this has brought into their relatively mundane life.

so. yeah. my tav for this first playthrough may not be the most unique or exciting character but i like him! i like figuring out what kind of choices he'll make and thinking up new ideas for what he likes and how he sees the world. also, i find it funny how in your reply to my ask you said you thought you'd be into gale but then you fell for astarion--because i thought that i'd be all over the edgy, brooding, snarky vampire man, but it turns out gale is so charming and funny that i'm probably going to romance him first. i'm also pretty intrigued by shadowheart and wyll but i'm so early in the game that i can't even say who i think my overall favorite companion will be because they all seem so interesting!! even karlach despite the fact that i haven't actually met her yet, i've seen a bunch of cool gifsets of her and my brother told me he's been romancing her on his playthrough. i really need to go find her soon.

i'm sure you can tell from everything i wrote here that i am definitely enjoying the game LOL. i can already tell that there's just so many different things to do and see, that i will both need and want to do a lot of different playthroughs and that it's going to be something that sticks with me. nothing wrong with using guides and walkthroughs btw! i do it too because i'm worried about missing too many things and have the world's worst sense of direction even with a minimap. honestly i probably need to look up some guides for certain mechanics that i don't feel like i've really figured out yet. there's a sarcophagus trap in the ruins early in the game that got me SO stuck and got my whole party wiped and then i looked up a video and found out you could turn off the whole trap system by pushing a switch... i felt so stupid askjdfgf.

anyway, i think this got to be way too long of a reply so i will stop here! but if you ever wanna tell me more about your tav or anything definitely feel free to and i hope you're having an awesome day!

[chevelleneech]

I have only seen the clip thus far, but Eddie saying, “I think so.” to Kim after she asks him if Shannon was the love of his life!?!?!?!?

Not to be a bitch about it, but is Tim aware of what he and his staff are writing!? I don’t know if he was around when Eddie said going on dates with women feels like he’s being forced to perform, but the fact that instead of retconning that and having him say something like, “Yeah, she was, and I’ve been forcing myself to makeup for what I lost by pretending another woman could fill the hole she left.” he chose, “I think so, but I didn’t know it at the time.”

Bullshit. I’m calling bullshit. Yes, I may end up eating my words, but that answer only further adds to the canon fact that Eddie Diaz has no idea what his feelings for Shannon are or were. When Eddie first came into the show they had a chance to write them compelling and hash it out, but they killed Shannon off. Fair enough, it happens in most dramas anyway. But to then have Eddie go through relationship after relationship where he panics or feels like he has to fake it to make it through, then have him date his dead wife’s doppelgänger despite having a girlfriend!?!?!?

It’s giving “throw a dart at the board and see what sticks”. It’s giving no sensible resolution, because what do you mean Eddie thinks Shannon was the love of his life? Why doesn’t he know by now!? Him choosing to pursue Kim despite knowing she looks like Shannon, should have given him the answer. Why would they choose to make him unsure?

I’m rambling, and it could very well be pointless because again, I haven’t watched the episode yet, but that clip pissed me off, lol. Because if Eddie isn’t going to be queer and realize all his uncertainty is because he never loved Shannon to begin with, and was instead forcing himself to pretend to be in love since heterosexuality is what was expected of him, then I don’t know what to expect, and I’m not sure it’ll be worth all this drama.

Because Marisol will either forgive him or leave him, but it won’t be interesting either way. If she forgives him, then nothing changes, does it? He’s still in a poorly written relationship with a woman the writers don’t know what to do with. If she leaves him, he’ll be single and likely end up in a new relationship with a new woman by the end of s8. If Eddie does not end this season realizing he is also queer, even if he doesn’t act on it and chooses to continue pushing it down in s8, then his entire arc was pointless, because what is the other option?

Or are we supposed to pretend like spending an entire season on him finally moving on from Shannon was good writing, FIVE SEASONS AFTER HER DEATH? Don’t get me wrong, had they actually done it well, I’d be fine. Grief takes time and Tim was clearly pulling on past season threads, but an emotional affair with a doppelgänger that takes place over two and half episodes, only after he has a silly little heehee haha arc about not wanting to have sex with Marisol because she was a nun for like a hot second.

No, because even remembering that pisses me off! How did we go from “I have catholic guilt and can no longer fuck my hot girlfriend— whom invented already fucked at least once— because she was a wannabe nun some odd years ago.” to “I am broken inside and sought out my dead wife’s look-a-like to gain emotional closure.”

If this isn’t leading to a queer Eddie storyline, then he better be single and an absolute emotional disaster by the end of this episode and he struggles with something worthwhile. Losing Chris to his parents because Chris saw Kim and feels betrayed or something. Anything, I beg!

[munadyke]

maaaajor elora and kit friendship/sisterhood dynamic ramble below from my drafts last thursday lol<3

thinking about kit & elora and how it always had to be them

this quest is theirs. while kit never wanted elora to join, the two of them were the only ones in it for the same reason-to save airk. everyone else has other motives: boorman to repay his debt to madmartigan and be pardoned of his crimes, graydon because he's been forced to by his father, willow to train elora, and jade to protect kit. while these reasons shift & change they're never really in it for airk. but kit and elora are

and we see each of them test this. from the get-go they are immediately distrusting of one another (mainly kit as we well know) and so this antagonism means that they struggle to believe they're on the same side. we constantly see kit and elora provoking the other, asking if they're really up for the challenge, or really in it for the right reason to save airk. but over the course of the season, as they get closer, we see this provoking change to a kind of motivation.

in episode 1, kit laments that graydon shouldn’t bring a flute because they’re on a dangerous quest to save her brother, “not some jaunt.” then in the next episode, elora tells willow all that they went through to get to him, and she says “I did it all and i’d do it all again to save airk, not take wizard classes from you.” and literally in this same scene there’s the moment where kit asks “so when can we leave” at the same time that elora asks “so what are we waiting for.” they give each other an odd look (that cracks me up tbh<3) because they aren't ready to admit their on the same side despite being so in sync. 

they are both just lost kids wanting so desperately to be brave and loved (as kit admits in episode 7), and this means they constantly want to give up, to take the easy route, but together they manage to keep going, to rely on each other when they need the strength/motivation/endurance whatever you want to call it

then we see the parallel between the end of episode 4 and 6; where elora is transfixed by the image of her younger self, distraught that she cannot save her, and then kit hears her father’s voice and wants desperately to go after him even if it means her death. Each time, they are the ones to seek out each other and try to pull the other back from these visions. *also just including the whole ep 4 clip here bc why not this is already a mess<3

also so much to be said abt how they were both, in a way, abandoned by madmartigan even though he did it to save them but I don't have the words rn

we also see that both of them feel the need to be brave & powerful leaders on this quest (bc of their relationship to airk and their roles as princess/chosen one), but each of them confide in the other about feeling afraid and powerless (elora during the hallway scene in ep4 then kit later on). it’s so interesting that elora’s vulnerability and honesty allow kit to do the same, and in the end its kit to bring elora back from the edge in episode 7--she’s learned from her and now is returning the favor.

again and again when everyone wants to give up, the two of them don't have that option. they begin to rely on each other to keep the quest moving towards their final goal. and eventually, kit realizes that not only is elora really in this, but that because they are the only two who truly care about airk, it has to be them to save him. she needs elora. as much as she would have hated to admit it at the beginning of the quest. 

they continually challenge each other for better or for worse. like when kit is drowning in episode 6, her near-death challenges elora to dig deep into her power. or in ep 7 when kit sees elora training she decides to do the same etc. they are always pushing each other whether it be out of kindness/jealousy/love/spite. ultimately they just know that they are the only two who can’t give up, because if they do the quest falls apart: they need each other. 

it's just so interesting to watch the subtle way their dynamic has changed, the way they've been helping each other without really meaning to because deep down they knew they didn't really have a choice. this connection, these common goals, have been there from the beginning-they just had to step back enough to see it. they are foils they are sisters they are soulmates. it had to be them going over the falls.

everyone complained that jade didn't jump after immediately and I'll admit I felt that way too. but this is the moment where everyone is truly tested. it needs to be clear that before anything else this is kit and elora's quest. the rest of the group needs to decide, after everything they've been through, the lengths they'll go to in order to protect their friends. even jade has to stop and think about what it means to continually risk herself for kit without regard for her own safety. is this really their quest? (ultimately from the trailers we know they do join them, but I think it was obviously purposeful to have just kit and elora facing down airk before this happens, to really nail home this point)

p.s. their growth can be summed up so well by kit saying “tough” in ep1 when elora wanted to join to help save airk vs her saying “tough” when elora wanted to give up at the end of ep7

[myloveforhergoeson]

posting another chapter preview bc i feel bad about not posting for a month and a half lol. everyone promise you'll act surprised when the chapter actually gets posted, okay? please enjoy :) <3

tw: mentions of underage drinking

Finding something to wear to a show was always a struggle for Roxy. Back in Brand New Day, an old band t-shirt or flannel, some skinny jeans, and black boots were practically a uniform worn at every single gig. While on the Big Time Rush tour, her options were equally as simple - Something cute, matching whatever colors the boys were wearing that night, that didn’t make her stand out in the slightest. But to a basement show in her hometown? Nothing in her closet seemed like the right way to go.

She hadn’t even been planning on going to one over the holiday break, but she had run into her old lab partner, Catherine Endicott while at the grocery store earlier, and she wasn’t ever one to pass up an invitation to enjoy the local music scene. So many incredible bands and musicians had come out of Minnesota; It would be a shame to miss out on potentially seeing the next big thing right as they got their start. 

“Bob Dylan, The Replacements, Hüsker Dü, Big Time Rush… Minnesota is crawling with musical talent,” She rambled, twisting her hair up into a large claw clip and letting the ends stick up, framing the top of her head like a spiky crown, while speaking to a spaced-out James. “Now we get to see Cait’s band, Under the Bleachers!”

It sounded like he was humming along to the OneRepublic song on the radio station he’d picked, sitting on top of her messily made bed while she dug through her closet to try and find something she’d feel comfortable in. 

Fashion was always a mixed bag at underground shows, and that had never really bothered her before, but she’d found she favored more colorful and trendy outfits than the experimental and quirky style she often saw at house gigs. Typically, she’d just wear whatever and bolster the strange looks because she’d be with her dad - in his own grunge style - and he’d ward off any unwanted glances or sly comments. But going with James, the poster boy for everything mainstream, would not afford her such grace. 

So… Blend in but make it my own… She determined, reaching all the way into the back of her closet for the punkish outfits she used to wear while she was in Brand New Day. It felt like forever ago now, but that had been her style when trying to fit in with Mag and Dani at their shows, but these days, not so much. 

“So we’re going to see a show by a band you’ve never heard of because someone you kind of know invited you?” James asked, clarifying the situation she had hurriedly explained to him on the phone as she’d come home from the store. Of course, he had been more than eager to bike over to her place in his “alternative” outfit - which to him was a pair of nice black jeans, a black v-neck, and a black jacket - but was having some trouble grasping the concept of seeing an artist they didn’t know. 

Even though he couldn’t see her buried in the back of her closet, the girl nodded as she slid hanger after hanger toward her to check out all her options. “Duh. Most of the people at our first show didn’t know who we were either, but they came because of our amazing advertising!”

Oh… Good times, Roxy fondly recalled running around L.A. handing out as many Big Time Rush fliers as she could and inviting anyone to their show that would stop long enough to listen. Brand New Day’s advertising strategy had been similar, but she also had the power of the airwaves to help her out at the Project Pop radio station. 

Taking in her words, James continued humming to the radio, as Roxy’s fingers landed on a long-forgotten t-shirt she had been keeping tucked away for a special occasion. James’ first basement show seemed like as good a time as any, and she managed to pair it with a short, red skirt and a pair of black fishnet tights. 

 As quickly as she had found it, she ran into the bathroom to change, feeling much more like herself than she had figured she would as she admired her picks in the large mirror. Not only was this her first concert with James, but it would also be her first underground show since she left Brand New Day. A part of her was irrationally worried that she’d see Mag and Dani there, but Duluth wasn’t that small a city, and Cait hadn’t mentioned running into them during their brief conversation earlier. 

Then again… They did show up at the Palm Woods…

“When you say ‘we’ are you talking about Big Time Rush or your old band?” She heard James call through the closed door, just as she managed to slip the final component of her outfit on; A gold chain belt cooly rested against her exposed midriff after she’d tied up the shirt, matching the charm necklace hanging around her neck.

Aside from the time Kendall had stolen her journal and passed it off to famous internet blogger Deke, that had been the first time he’d asked her something regarding her musical past. Not that she didn’t mind sharing - with him at least - the question simply caught her off guard. Despite a long-standing friendship, their relationship was still in the beginning stages. Roxy’s heart skipped; It was nice that even after knowing each other quite well, there was still much for them to learn about each other.

Slowly opening the door to the bathroom and making a beeline back to her closet for a pair of black boots, Roxy considered her next words carefully, “Yes to both; But each time we did a significant amount of advertising. Word of mouth does wonders in any town… Ergo, we’re seeing Cait’s band.”

When she finally turned around to find the jewelry box on her dresser, she felt James’ eyes glued to her as she crossed the small room. It made her chest flutter, knowing he couldn’t stop staring at her, and just for fun, she used it to her advantage as she coyly glanced over her shoulder and shot him a wink before picking out a pair of matching earrings. 

“Rox…” He almost whispered, and the springs of her bed groaned as he stood up. In response, he brought a fist to his mouth before clearing his throat and she didn’t miss the unmistakable dusting of pink blushing the top of his ears. “I know you’re going to be freezing but is it bad that I don’t care? I never want you to take that off…”

In the vanity mirror she was using to check her outfit, she noticed he crept closer while he spoke, gaze suspiciously targeting her legs. When he reached out to wrap his arms around her, she playfully evaded his grasp with a nicely timed side-step.

“Oh, my God!” Roxy cried, cutting into his sentence with a few uncontrollable snorts of laughter and an accusatory finger, meeting him in the middle of the room. “You’ve got a thing for fishnets!”

She watched James freeze, glancing up at the ceiling fan lazily rotating around. In response, he let out a few beats of an innocent whistle before rocking back and forth on his heels. “Whaaat! No!”

Acting against his words, his hand reached out to grab hers at the same time his gaze flickered down just long enough to give her another once-over, noticeably lingering on her tights. When the writer opened her mouth again to tease him, he beat her to the punch and changed the subject, pointing to the old black and white band t-shirt she had tied up above her navel. “Who’s Dec and the Desires? Never heard you talk about them before.”

 Another question that made her giddy, and she grinned as she laced her fingers between his and pulled him into the living room toward the front door, making sure to grab a lighter from the kitchen junk drawer on the way out. “An underground punk band I love. They were really big in the late 80’s and early 90’s in Austin, Texas. Though, I figure you can put the rest together yourself, considering you know the lead singer.”

It seemed as though her words confused her boyfriend for a moment, as they stepped out of the Somerset’s one-story and out onto the freezing streets of Minnesota. Of course, James had been right, and Roxy was freezing, but Cait’s house was only a few blocks away. She could brave the cold in the name of fashion. 

Besides, I’ve got my own personal space heater…

“I do?” He asked, eyes darting around the empty driveway before his brows knit in confusion. 

Roxy carefully tugged him toward the mostly snow-cleared sidewalk, silently letting him know they’d be walking to their destination instead of driving; Someone had been caught up at work after taking an impromptu day off on Christmas Eve and kept Dynamo out late. “Yes, baby. Dec… and the Desires?”

James blinked, either still confused or taking in the pet name he wasn’t quite used to as he followed her lead.

Oh my…

“Declan?” She tried again, doing her best to keep from shivering too much as she and James traversed the icy path. “Somerset?”

“Oh! Your dad was in a band like you?” The genuine curiosity in his voice made her melt a smidge and she snugged his arm into her chest as she practically pulled him down the street to Cait’s. “I didn’t know that, Rox! Kendall and I talked his ear off about sports backstage when we could’ve been asking for music advice! He’s way nicer than Gustavo.”

Her heart involuntarily squeezed at the thought of James feeling comfortable going to her father for advice. “Yeah, they were really going places. Headlining local venues, sending for record labels, lining up an independently run U.S. tour, until…” She paused, realizing she’d never spoken with anyone besides her dad and old band about his small stint in the music industry. Until me. “He’ll talk your ear off about the glory days if you’d let him.”

 “It’s neat that the two of you have so much in common… My parents always had to drag me to stuff about Brooke Diamond Cosmetics - Thank God that’s all over,” James nodded, slinging an arm around his girlfriend as they walked. Try as she might to contain her shivers, he could feel the involuntary shakes and goosebumps riddling her arm under his fingertips. “What did I tell you about being cold?!”

Roxy knew he was changing the subject so she wouldn’t ask any follow-up questions about his statement. In all the time they’d known each other, this was the first in which he’d willingly brought up the company his mother ran. Besides, the writer had only made the connection he was the Brooke Diamond’s son during an interview on the band’s summer tour - If James had wanted her to know that sooner, he would’ve told her.

Just as he was interested to learn more about her past, she was curious about his, but decided not to push her luck as they traveled on to Cait’s. James would share when he was ready and that was perfectly fine with Roxy.

~

They hadn’t even been in the crowded, boiling basement for 10 minutes when a guy around James and Roxy’s age, dripping in metal spikes and heavy chains, came up to them, asking the latter if she was ever in a band because she looked “kinda, sorta, super familiar.” The show wasn’t even close to starting yet.

The writer shrugged him off, playing with the rim of the red Solo cup in her hand when she brought up Big Time Rush - knowing full well that wasn’t what he had meant by his question - and introduced him to James who was far more versed in interactions like these. Just as quickly as the guy had come to speak with them, he wrinkled his nose at the thought of meeting a member of a boy band and disappeared into the sea of people around them. 

Five minutes, and Roxy’s nervous downing of her drink later, someone else stopped by the couple and asked her the same question. Though she wanted them to stick around a bit and ask for a few tips on how they got their sharp-edged eyeliner to stand out so nicely against their dark eyeshadow, her response was the same as before, as was the individual’s when she brought up the pop band she wrote and composed for. 

James, bless his heart, looked a bit uncomfortable with the sheer amount of people packed into the small space and stuck close to her side as she navigated them as best she could around the small space. Despite pouring him a cup straight from the ice-bathing keg’s tap in the corner closest to the entrance, he had declined the drink - “Need to bike home, babe,” - and passed it off to the girl in line behind them.

Then, she asked Roxy if she’d been in a band as well.

Just the thought of anyone associating her with Brand New Day made her nauseous, so she used to boy band line again, and the young girl scurried off to her group of friends, shaking her head at them as if they’d all been wondering the same thing. 

Ignoring the slight shake in her fingers as she reached for her boyfriend’s hand, Roxy told herself she brushed off the questions only because Brand New Day were openly establishing themselves as a duo now that they’d moved to Hollywood and signed with Galactic Records. Telling someone she used to play with them might make her look like a liar, or worse, a delusional fan girl. 

Yup, that’s totally worse than being a liar, she decided, squeezing James’ hand for comfort while waving in and out through the mass of individuals to try and get to the center of the room. I never want to be associated with them again.

“We’ll be able to hear best from here!” Roxy assured James as they’d reached the middle of the crowd, having to raise her voice over the noise level, even though she couldn’t see where Cait had set up the instruments over everyone standing in front of her. In her opinion, the only downfall to house shows was the absence of an elevated stage. “Think you’ll be able to see alright?” 

The question was inherently dumb; One look over the cramped space told her he was one of the tallest people there - excluding those who had used an insane amount of hairspray to hold up their hairdos and those in platform shoes. 

Instead of answering her question, James squeezed her hand back before warmly saying, “You’re famous.”

No question mark, no hesitation. Spoken as though it were the truest of facts.

Taking another sip of her drink, Roxy held it on her tongue for a moment, letting the pungent taste linger before swallowing while she considered his words. Then, the sickly feeling from before returned, heartbeat drumming uncomfortably in her chest, and her immediate reaction was to deflect his statement. “You’re the one in a boy band.”

“No one’s asked me if I was in a band tonight.”

“No one here listens to that kind of music.”

When James realized he wasn’t getting anywhere with this conversation, he sighed and shifted his attention forward to the non-existent stage, while his girlfriend realized how combative her words were coming off. Which, unfortunately, they were designed to be. Brand New Day was the last thing she’d wanted to think about at the show tonight, but he wasn’t asking to be a bother. She knew that; But this wasn’t the setting in which she wanted to have that conversation.

It had just been a long time since she’d considered her past in the Duluth music scene. She never handled the unwanted feelings about her old band members and stolen intellectual property well, as evidenced by the slightly mean tone she’d taken with him. 

Though she thought she was over it after she vowed to move on after her last encounter with Mag and Dani at AM LA, actions certainly spoke louder than words. 

 Roxy took another sip of her drink, starting to feel the beginnings of a buzz itch at the back of her brain. Way to go Rox, drive off the one guy you’ve managed to keep around...

Just as she opened her mouth to apologize, she felt James squeeze her hand again. “Did you play a lot of shows in places like this? How could you stand the distinct… skunky and sweaty smell?” 

Saying a silent prayer of thanks he had moved on from the previous line of questioning, Roxy felt her rapid breathing begin to slow.

“More than I could count. Dani’s basement was a bit bigger than this one, though, but most times we’d jump in on someone else’s show if we begged them hard enough,” She shared in earnest, trying to tell herself it wouldn’t be as bad to talk it out with someone she cared about. “Loved every moment of it, too.”

By now, she had finally worked up enough courage to glance up at her boyfriend in the low light, finding him raising an eyebrow at her comment. 

“Even the skunky and sweaty smell! Got used to it after a while… But you,” Roxy reached up and poked at his cheek with a loose giggle, “You’ve been venue spoiled. Free snacks and gifts, clean green rooms, crowds of thousands screaming your name… Lucky, lucky boy.”

“That I am,” James assured her, bending down to press a much-wanted kiss to her cheek to let her know everything was alright. “Sounds like you get free drinks at shows like these though. That’s not a perk of our job quite yet.”

Of course, his timing was perfect to when she went to take a sip of her drink, causing her to nearly spit out what little she had left as she snorted a bit of buzz-induced laughter. “Only if you’re friends with the homeowner or you’re incredibly cute. So both of us are in the clear tonight, superstar, because those jeans you’re wearing make me wanna-”

The distinct ringing of microphone feedback surged through her ears, immediately cutting her off from her train of thought as Under the Bleachers took their places at the front of the room and soon, it was replaced with the deep kick of the drum echoing in her chest, carrying over the second-hand speakers. Wasting no time, the band jumped straight into their first song, leaving her little choice but to pull her boyfriend down for a quick kiss against the beginnings of a guitar melody meant to promise there was much more in store for him later. 

~

Lucky for James, Roxy cashed in on her silent promise about halfway through the set when the ear-splittingly loud music had thoroughly rattled her brain and she had managed to finish off her second cup of beer. The room was warm, sure, but he’d wrapped an arm around her waist to pull her closer a few minutes ago, and the temperature prickling her skin reached inferno-like levels just from his touch. Be it the heightened state she had found herself in, the adrenalin rush of her first show in so long, or the fact Cait’s band wrote excellent make-out music, Roxy had dragged James out of the crowd to the back of the room and spent most of the set’s remaining time pressed up against the basement wall with her lips locked onto his. 

That was, until the most pit opened, of course.

When the show ended, she nearly cried, but allowed James to navigate them up the staircase and out into Cait’s backyard with everyone else, before eventually making it back out to the sidewalk and heading in the direction of her house. 

“Tonight was perfect!” She yelled without regard for the late hour, throwing her head and hands back as the sound echoed off the houses on the road they took. “Can you believe Under the Bleachers are so, so, so good? We should call Gustavo - He needs a girl band and they need a record contract! An album too, lots of albums. So many albums…”

The heat of the basement had almost made them forget the below-freezing temperature outside, but Roxy could hardly feel it as she twirled down the sidewalk, humming what she could remember of the songs they’d played. At some point, her boyfriend had given her his coat, but she didn’t remember when. 

When she almost hit a metal mailbox on the street with her hands, James poorly tried to conceal his smile as he caught her around the wrist and pulled her into his side, slinging an arm around her shoulders. “Careful, crazy girl. I know you punks like to break stuff, but let’s keep the damages to a minimum.”

At his statement, she squeezed her eyes shut and stuck out her tongue, shaking her head at the notion. “Not a punk! Not even close!”

Roxy managed to pop one eye open and glance his way, noting the way his head tilted to the side, bottom lip stuck out. It made her giggle.

“Wanna know a secret?” She said, fully intending to whisper it in his ear, but she was too busy continuing to stare at his mouth to focus on her volume. The pair had split her last cup of lukewarm beer; The relaxation it brought had caused her newfound loose lips. “I just like the music, making me the world's biggest poser! I’m not connected to the culture at all; Not like Dad.”

Hand moving up and down on her arm to spark some heat, the perplexed look on James’ face remained. “You think? From what you said earlier it sounds like the two of you were in pretty similar situations. Playing the shows, writing the music, connecting with others around town… Sounds pretty punk to me.”

“He and his band wrote about real issues,” Roxy blurted out, still failing to find the balance between what she should and shouldn’t say. There had been a reason she’d needed to share her last cup with James - The looseness had traveled to whatever part of her brain filtered her speech. “Racism, religious conservativism, labor rights… Shit was bad and they were able to channel it into a musical act of protest. All I ever managed to write about was stupid, trivial teenage stuff to pair over a punky-sounding guitar riff. I still do that, just.. Poppy now.”

James didn’t say anything for a moment, and when she turned to look at him as they rounded the corner of her street, she swore she could see the gears turning in his head. “It’s all about self-expression, though, right?”

A good point - one she hadn’t been expecting him to make. In fact, that had been something she had neglected to realize all night, despite that being one of the core tenets of the genre. 

“Getting in touch with your emotions, writing them out, being brave enough to share them… That’s hard for a lot of people, Rox.” The hesitation in his voice made her think he was speaking from experience, but she certainly wasn’t in a state to ask him. “Whether or not you think it’s punk is up to you, but I think it’s pretty extraordinary.”

There were only two times in her life Roxy could remember being rendered speechless - The first time her dad played her Definitely Maybe by Oasis and the first time she’d met Dak Zevon - and now, this was a conversation she could file away in that folder as well. He wasn’t known for always saying the right thing at the right time, but she internalized his words, playing them over and over in her mind as they approached her front door. While she did, her heart was pounding to the point of ache, almost as though it were attempting to break free from her chest and make a new home for itself in James’ hands. 

Just as she was figuring out how to respond, he continued with a crack of a smile, “Especially extraordinary when the song you write is about me! Perfect subject matter for my perfect songwriter.”

[immren]

4 and 10 for ambrose 15 for immren + a and g (about both of them) for yewwww

How easy is it to earn their trust?

not easy at all. he's extremely paranoid, but he's very easy to talk to and work with despite that. like he doesn't Seem that he's always on edge, but he is. even more so after he becomes prince, because he has a different mindset about the camarilla and anarchs compared to the primogen, who REALLY don't like him, but appointed him as prince since he's naive and easy to control. then they send him across the country once he starts rebelling and being difficult.

the only one person he genuinely trusts is iver. that's why he offered the mutual blood bond lol. and then they divorce every other week. sorry this is unrelated . there's lucien also but they grew apart once ambrose became "more important."

What lie do they most frequently remember telling? Does it haunt them?

ambrose lies so much. even when he's telling the truth, he will usually keep the parts of it to himself if it means getting things to work in his favor. that sort of thing, if that makes sense ?

there are lies he's told that DO actually haunt him. idk if you remember, but that comic i drew of him and his brother, gabriel. like ambrose's sire wiped gabe's memory of him. ambrose meets him again years later and catches gabe's attention bc hes just Staring. so he has to act like he doesn't know him. that hurt him a lot. (brief ambrose lore, his parents died before he was turned, and gabe is his only remaining family member. who's basically dead to him now since andrew mindwiped him and forbids ambrose from speaking to him ever again.)

How do they speak? Is what they say usually thought of on the spot, or do they rehearse it in their mind first?

for immren's voice claim, i'm really drawn to jamie bower I think. [Im really sorry for the strangers thing clip, i don't see immren having a british accent 😭] but the way jamie speaks here is really really accurate to how i imagine immren's cadence though. also since his voice also isn't as deep as the voice i used in bg3 (i still love you Voice 3 ).

immren is soft spoken in a normal conversation, almost whispering half the time. every word he says, it's like he says it with purpose. he speaks so eloquently in a way that makes most people Want to listen to him. super easy for him to be manipulative. Looks at his in-game charisma stat.....

also he NEVER uses fillers during his sentences like "um" "uh" "er" etc etc, if that makes sense. though i guess that goes along with "every word he says is said with purpose." lol.. he rarely rehearses because he doesn't need to. he will stay silent if he absolutely needs to think over a response to something. (ex. Gortash asking him to come with him to steal the crown of karsus from mephistopheles, and immren just staring at him for a good twenty seconds before verbally replying.)

he does struggle to speak with emotion, and if he tries, it sounds forced and unnatural. the characters that get to know him on a more personal level can understand his genuine feelings since he's so Direct anyways.

SORRY . I REALLY RAMBLED i hope this makes sense

Why are you excited about this character?

ambrose has a lot of fun connections in his world i love thinking about and would like to eventually draw more interactions of! iver, lucien, his sire, the random human men he won't ghoul but plays with their lives anyways, his former coterie, his new coterie. he's also a fashion model so that gives me an excuse to dress him up like a barbie with fun clothes i find on pinterest. Also vtm in general makes me excited and happy, and not to be biased but i really like my dumbass ventrue lol

immren has a lot of interesting traits to him i like to talk about! not only does he experience the horrors of being a bhaalspawn, he also has that cosmic horror aspect about him too with his eldritch patron. im excited to draw more horror related things with him if im ever feeling brave enough, there are some painting ideas i do have in mind already. there are also things in bg3 i haven't really touched on yet with art so im excited to get around to those too with him

What trait of theirs bothers you the most?

ambrose is really difficult for me to characterize a lot of the time. he's a hypocrite. he's kind. he's twisted. he wants to protect humans yet plays with their lives like they're his toys. he's manipulative. he seeks out the best for his coterie members. im afraid he reads off as inconsistent but maybe that's his charm? 😭

immren is supposed to be a really evil and dark character but sometimes i feel like im woobifying on accident. . does this count . LMFAOO

[forlix]

👉🏻👈🏻 bestie I love hearing about the writer’s process, so fun facts and such are so welcome. give me info for my lil gremlin brain, please! I did enjoy the tidbit :) very much so, and I love that clip as well so it’s very cool that you got to use it for inspo.

LOL OMG 'Penetration Was Occurring’ SENT ME! I know some fic writers lately have been using ‘p in v’ but I think ‘Penetration Occurs’ has potential, for sure.

and ty for loving my music taste 🫶🏻 and enjoying all my recs. I’m so honoured ;w; hozier is so good and such an inspiration for so many of my fics. his ‘unreal unearth’ album destroyed me when it released, I love him and his songs so dearly 💔

pleeease fangirl over me, this degree has to be validated in some way I am in DEBT. lol jk but yeah, getting to talk lit was something I really loved about completing my degree, and I don’t really have any friends that enjoy it now. my coworkers all read a lot so I get to chat with them, but I decline to mention the copious amounts of smutty fanfic I consume lol but booo to that professor, I’m so sorry they ruined it for you 😔 I’m sure the same would’ve happened to me if my prof for my introductory course wasn’t cool. I would be soo happy if you read my fics, but also hella embarrassed 🙈

I def will reach out because I want friends so badly but idk what to say to people 🥹 but I love our essays 🫶🏻 also I’m SORRY!! IDK ANYTHING ABOUT EXO!! ;w; song recs are welcome, idk. I tend to gravitate to kpop groups with members around my age though (00 liner life) but idk, anything can happen!! I’m scarily open to indoctrination 

but thank you for being so sweet and loving my ramblings!! and I’m happy to keep supporting your works ^^ (your new theme is very cute btw, so aesthetically pleasing omgg) I adore you too, take care! kisses, mwah mwah uwu

-🪷 anonniiie

pls if your brain is a gremlin brain what does that make mine. perhaps that of a troll. an imp. a hobgoblin, even. we are in this together my baby lotus nonnie (also i SEE YOUR VISION. "Penetration Will Occur" will be making a comeback in the near future just you wait)

and YOU'RE honored that i enjoyed your music taste? have you seen your music taste? have you read back on your last ask and Processed what you did there? you literally carved my fic down to its very essence and transcribed the amorphous core into some of the most beautiful music i've ever heard. the honor is all mine, and i am NAWT arguing with you about this one, the fight is won, pack your bags.

and ABSOLUTELY YOU GOT IT, i am your biggest fan, you are so cool and your degree is so cool and never ever forget it. please come talk to me about literature whenever you want, i don't read as much as i used to but whenever i do i can ramble about it for as long as you'll let me lol. so just know you have another lit nerd in me. and i meant what i said about reading your fics! and i am very excited for it my star

by now you have reached out to me and i have continued to enjoy our conversations so incredibly much, so i would disagree with your self-evaluation that you never know what to say to people! i can feel your kindness and warmth through my screen and can confidently say you're my favorite type of person :') i also want to say once again how grateful i am that you trusted me with your identity. i love and appreciate you lots!!

thank you for the kind words as always, and for the support and for this ask and for liking my new theme!! absorbing and reflecting your kisses + thousands more in three...two...

[jellyaibo]

i want to hear ur thoughts abt object terror, you philosophor

so disclaimer i havent seen OT in fucking months so this insane ramble isnt gna be. the best but

object terror is one of the best worst fucking object shows ive ever seen, literally the PRIME example of some edgy kid trying to make an object show that isnt ur grandmas object show. no. this is the REAL shit and they say SLURS and theres BLOOD and GORE (yes im serious theres blood and gore and death but itsnot that bad, definitely a bit shocking if u didnt expect it to happen tho)

theres also shitty voice acting and terrible mic quality galore, EX: theres a fucking cup that had this dogshit mic for the longest fucking time and it deadass sounded like bro was talking into a washing machine ohmy god, i remember there was a clip of him going around on twitter a while ago cuz of this (i think that was my first time seeing anything from OT too so theres that)

OH and theres cactus, i barely remember anything abt him but he had this fucking emotionless voice that made me HYSTERICAL. there was a scene where someone got him pissed and he said "you take that back" with. absolutely no emotion at all and since then me and my friends keep fucking quoting that line cuz its the funniest fucking shit ever

btw that slur line i said earlier wasnt a joke, one of the characters straight up drops the R SLUR in the FIRST EPISODE (funnily enough, that character became the creators objectsona i think? ik they kinda used him as a mascot for a bit which is so fucking funny) tho i dont think they drop anymore slurs after that but dont take my word on it

anyways i gotta talk abt my favorite fucking part abt this fucking show before i get to. mint

THESE FUCKING CUNTS.

before i watched object terror i got fucking warned abt these two because there was a . homophobic scene w them or some shit and i had NO idea what it was for the longest time so i was really excited to see what object homophobia was gna be graced upon my faggotly eyes

and then theyjust. started making out randomly. LIKE OUTTA NOWHERE and there were other characters there that were gna try to attack/kill them? but then they saw them kissing and were like omg ewww boys (i think. the stuff that happens after this scene is kinda blurry tbh and im NOT gonna go back and watch the clip to see what happens ok. i REFUSE) and im sorry but thats the best fucking object show scene ever

AND LIKE? IDK? MAYBE ITS JUST ME BUT I DONT GET WHY I SAW PPL SAY THIS WAS HOMOPHOBIC???? i dunno maybe its just me but like these two just kissed while watching tv and eating chicken AND NOTHING BAD HAPPENED TO THEM!!! THEY LITERALLY WON IMMUNITY BY THE END OF THE EPISODE TOO. THEY WON. THE GAYS WON. and its so fucking funny to me bro object terror LOVES the gays

ok now i need to talk about mint im sorry i hate this fucking thing so much I NEED TO KILL HIM WITH A ROCK!!!! FFFUCK!!

hes literally just taco ii but 100x worse, i dont even like tacos evil arc or whatever cuz i always found her annoying BUT MINT IS SO MUCH WORSE

never in my. almost 2 years of watching object shows have i ever hated a character so fucking much LIKE GENUINELY THIS THING MAKES ME SO FRUSTRATED. hes just that. lol XD random character FOR THE WHOLE SERIES. just annoying and loud and does literally fucking nothing AND THE JOKES W HIM ARE SO FORCED I SWEAR THEY STOPPED . EVERYTHING THAT WAS GOING ON IN AN EPISODE JUST TO FOCUS ON THIS MOTHERFUCKER CUZ HE WAS GONNA DO SOMETHING FUNNY. im not mad that im missing out on some "juicy" object terror "lore" im just pissed that i have to see this fucking disgrace on my screen

oh and in the latest episode (as of now, the series isnt actually finished yet and i hope to god it never gets continued) SUDDENLY mint has a fucking arc THAT WAS NEVER FORESHADOWED AT ALL IN THE SERIES!! SO SUDDENLY HES A SMART GENIUS THAT COULD DO ANYTHING CUZ HE HAS MACHINES N SHIT AND A WHOLE ASS LABORATORY ??????? THEN HE FUCKING DIES

do you know how many fucking. mid and uninteresting characters we had to lose for him

DO YOU KNOW THE LOSSES I HAD TO DEAL WITH CUZ OF HIM

he lived for too fuckig long in this show dammit it pisses me off that he's even a character that exists . i blame him for being the reason why i hate joke characters (except david ily david bfdi)

i dont wanna talk abt him anymore im gonna

OK OK BUT. 1 more thing. smore

smore is this guy that they introduced later on in the series and hes a FUCKING. DEMON FROM HELL and i need him so bad actually

i think at some point he tries to . kill mint too so im literaly making out with him rn oh my god HES SO

im so mad hes in object terror IM GETTING YOU OUTTA THERE BABY ‼ ‼ 🗣🗣

honestly tho he was so cool im a little mad that they introduced him so late into the show CUZ WE ONLY SEE HIM FOR LIKE 2 EPISODES GRAHHHH RAAGHHHH babygirl

anyways thats it i feel like theres more but im not gonna wring out any more object terror knowledge from my brain i think that'll kill me

hope u enjoyed my insanity anon heres a loser . hope this heals you

[ferrahmei]

Do you plan on coming back to YouTube or not? Why didn’t you make a video about your channel being inactive?

Sorry this took me a hot minute to respond to! I’ll be honest I don’t know! It was never my intention to “leave�� or become inactive. It was just difficult to justify the time spent on making videos especially in my earlier adult years staring at 20 because I had to work paycheck to paycheck and became in a very LONG art block.  I’ve been thinking about going back and making videos, especially since I’m working on art stuff again and in a better place environmentally and mentally. The one thing that deters me is I don’t know really what people want to watch anymore. I’m not sure if I’ll be back to animate anything (at least I have no plans to currently). My other videos I did were mostly speedpaints but I don’t think people particularly like watching them (not to mention they can hardly be monetized if you use copyrighted music which is what I liked to do because it didn’t require much besides editing lol)! 

I know people kinda talk over them with stories or about the process but it’s hard for me to do that because I just fuck around and find out when it comes to my art...like I know things and why I do them this way or that, but it’s a whole other thing to put it into words that are also easily understandable and digestible. 

I’m going to start streaming regularly eventually and I’ll probably at least use it for Twitch clips but besides that I can’t really think of what people want to see, I wouldn’t be much warrior cats or Gravity Falls oriented anymore not to mention It’s been like 7 years since I was active active. Which means I just have a whole different vibe and I’ve greatly matured since then lol

Sorry for the ramble on the ask!! I was surprised to see it tbh, I appreciate you thinking about me! Hope all is going well for you, Anon ❤️