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dragon-kazansky · 3 years

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Stuck with you | Helmut Zemo

Requested by @cherry-season I've changed it up a little, but it's still based off your request :)

This is a lengthy one, sit back and enjoy.

This was less than ideal. One moment you're chasing Flag Smashers through an otherwise abandoned building, then you're trapped in a room with the Baron Helmut Zemo.

The only way this could be any worse is if you were stuck in a room with Walker instead. You could guarantee that man wouldn't be leaving alive if that was the case.

Still, Zemo wasn't exactly your favourite person on the planet either.

The solid steel door had slammed shut behind you. You were unable to get it open, fearing it only opened from the other side. You're not sure exactly what kind of building this was, but it had clearly not been used in some time. Things were falling apart or rusting over.

"You can keep trying, little bird, but it won't open."

You take a deep breath, trying not to say anything snarky to him. You did not need his sass today.

"Well, I'm sorry, Zemo, but you're stuck with me unless we do something."

"I'm not complaining."

"I suppose you're used to being locked in a room." You turn away from the door and look around the room, not yet feeling up to actually acknowledging his presents by looking at him.

"Yes, but this time I have lovely company. I am at an advantage."

"Yeah right," you say, sarcasm dropping with every letter.

You want to sit down, but you do not want to touch the musty floor. You take to leaning against the wall with your arms crossed, finally looking at the only other human in the room.

"At least in a cell you have furniture."

"To an extent."

"Still, it's better than this horrid and dark room. Plus, something smells funky in here and it isn't me."

"Course not, you smell lovely," he grins at you.

"OK..."

Helmut, realising there isn't much to do other than talk to you, removed his coat and goes to lay it out on the floor, figuring you would be more comfortable sitting on it than anywhere else. However, he stops when call out.

"What are you doing? You'll ruin it!" You take the coat out of his hands and hold it close to you.

"Concerned about my coat?"

"What? No! It's just... it's a nice coat... probably expensive too. You'll ruin it if you put it on the floor."

"What do you suggest we do then?"

"I don't know, but let's not sacrifice perfection." You brush the coat down with your hand as you drape it over your other arm.

Zemo chuckles as looks around the room. It isn't a massive space, but there's very little in it, making it look quite roomy. He walks over to the opposite side and brushes along the ground sigh foot, deeming it worthy enough to sit on. You see him sitting with his back against the wall, looking up at you.

"Do you really want to be sitting there?" You ask, feeling kind of bad he would ruin his clothes like that. Who knows what kind of filth is in here.

"It's a sacrifice I'm willing to make."

You sigh softly as you walk over to where he is.

"You're braver than I am, then."

"I don't know, you're rather brave," he doesn't sound like he's teasing you. He doesn't look like it either.

"If you say so."

Zemo gazes up at you. You can't read his expression, which feels a little unsettling.

"Put the coat on."

"Sorry?" You frown.

"Don't be, put it on."

You look at the coat still draped over your arm. Why did he want you to put it on?

"Why?"

"If you trust me just once in your life, let this be that once. Put the coat on, little bird."

You unfold the coat and put it on. It doesn't fit all that well, but it's warm. You look at him, unimpressed.

"Is this what you wanted?"

Zemo grins as he holds open his arms and gestures you over with his fingers. You look at him suspiciously.

"Zemo, what are you doing?"

"Come here. Unless you want to stand until who knows when. We could be in here quite some time, and since you won't sit on the floor, there is only one place for you to sit."

"You have to be joking."

He shakes his head and gestures you close with his fingers again.

"You're going be insufferable after this." You shimmy over and get down, taking a seat on his lap.

Zemo uses his arms to support you, but you're too busy gathering the coat and making sure it doesn't touch the floor. He chuckles in your ear as you purposely turn your head away from him as you shuffle in his lap, trying to get comfortable.

"Better?"

"Sure..." You're too embarrassed to look at him.

Helmut gives you a little squeeze, tugging you closer to his torso. This time when he chuckles, you feel the vibration of it rumble through his chest. He moves his head so it's buried in the crook of your neck.

"What are you doing?"

"Tormenting you. I have you in my grasp, I'm not going to waste this opportunity to mess with you."

"Is that all this is? An opportunity to mess with me because Sam and Bucky aren't here?" You shake him from your shoudler and glare at him.

"Or perhaps I'm just seizing the opportunity to have you all to myself?"

"I don't understand you..." Your gaze flickers between his beautiful brown eyes.

"Would you like to?" He grins at you.

"I don't know... but I suppose it will help pass the time. Where shall we start?"

"Check the inside pocket." He nods toward the coat around you. You follow his instruction and search the inside the pocket. You feel something small. Grabbing it, you pull it out and hold it up.

You look at Zemo unimpressed.

"I already know you like Turkish Delights. You made that clear." You look at it.

"They were my son's favourite."

"Yeah, I remember you saying," you mutter.

"That one is for you."

You think him quietly and open it, eating it. You look at him.

"I thought you were going to tell me more about you," you say, licking the powder from your fingers.

"I'm starting slow."

"Zemo, you can be honest with me. I'm pretty sure I know all of the awful things you've done. Nothing will surprise me. Plus, I'm already sitting on you, so if you're worried about what I think, I don't think you have to worry."

There's a cheeky smile on his face.

"Are you always this honest and modest?"

"Only when I want to be." You wink at him. You only realise what you've done after you see that mischievous glint return to his eyes.

"I see. I would very much like you to be honest with me."

"What makes you think I haven't been?" You tilt your head curiously at him.

"If you hated me as much as you tried to make it seem, I doubt you would actually be sitting here on my lap, eating my sweets, and giving me the time of day."

He's right.

"Then, I'll be more honest with you staring now. I don't hate you, Zemo. Not really. Don't get me wrong, I'm not happy about what you did to my friends, or the fact you brain washed Bucky and bombed a building and blamed it on him. You're an awful person."

Zemo nods softly.

"But, right here, right this minute, I'll pretend for a moment that none of that matters. Just let me see the man you are here and now." You look at him with a tiny smile, wanting to see the person he was in the moment.

"Well, so far, I'm the man who has let you put on his coat and eat his sweets. If I had access to a kitchen, I would make you a drink and we would sit and chat in a more comfortable spot."

You chuckle softly, you find yourself reaching for one of his hands, taking it in your own. He lets you, watching you do so.

"What else?" You ask, keeping your voice soft. You like the atmosphere you have created.

"I am the man who will look after you for as long as it takes your friends to find us. I shall be the best company I can be right now, if you'll continue to let me." He meets yours eyes, feeling the way you place your fingers between his.

"Not like I have much choice." You grin cheekily.

"I'll take it." He closes his fingers over your hand, letting you settle your entwined hands on your lap.

"When we get back to the house... maybe we could have that drink?"

You feel his breath fanning across you face. He feels all the more closer now as you look at him.

"If you would like that, I won't deny you the pleasure of my company," he smirks.

"I have to say, your company is nice."

Your noses are almost touching. You're really not sure how you find yourself to be in a position where you would even consider getting any closer to him.

"You changed your tune rather quickly, haven't you?"

"Seems so."

His eyes flicker to your lips. Oh, the temptation is strong.

"Maybe we should see how things go." You're whispering now.

"I can wait."

"I won't make you wait too long, after all, you're on borrowed time." Now you're looking at his lips.

"The bitter truth."

"Just means we have to make the most of it. Show me the Zemo I see before me. It won't change the fact they'll send you straight back to prison, but it might make us friends." You stare into his seemingly lost gaze. There's something about the way he's looking at you that you can't read, but he does look lost.

"My free little bird." He whispers.

"Trapped in the cage that is you." You let go of his hand to wipe the tear from his cheek.

He hadn't even realised.

Suddenly, you hear voice from the other side of the door. You hate to do it, but you part yourself from Zemo and stand up, dusting yourself off despite the fact you weren't all that dirty.

The door takes a couple of big tugs, but the boys get it open.

Zemo gathers himself as he gets up from the must old floor, patting down his pants as he stands beside you.

"We were looking for you two," Bucky says, coming over to you.

"We got trapped."

"Why are you wearing his coat?" Bucky looked you up and down.

"I was cold. Zemo was being a gentleman." You cross your arms.

Bucky eyes the Baron suspiciously.

Zemo shrugs and places a hand on your back gently.

"Shall we leave this horrible little place now?" He asks you.

You nod and walk out with him. You walk a little closer to him than you had before, and he notices it. His arm settles around you as you both leave the building together.

It's strange how such a small incident could bring you closer to someone you never expected to. You look at Zemo and smile. You'll make the most of the time you have left with him.

@ajeff855 @moonstuffsteve @sky-writes-stuff @lieutenantn

#tfatws #the falcon and the winter soldier #helmut zemo x reader #zemo #helmut zemo #zemo x reader #marvel

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limitlessgojo · 3 years

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Blood Bound: Red Strings of Fate (Ch 7)

Warnings: Action, Coarse Language, Fighting, Descriptions of Blood

Previous Chapter: Speed of Sound

Next Chapter: Red Strings of Fate

Tags: Soulmates AU, Angst, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Fem!Reader

Taglist: @lessie-oxj @rizzo-nero @whoreuc @fkngkumiko @isl3t @gojoussunglasses @onepotatostand-blog @s-t-f-u-b-i-t-c-h @sunaswife

Notes: If you want to be tagged for every update, please mention it in the comments below ty <3

Double Update today, because these two chapters go hand in hand. It didn't feel right to upload one without the other.

Chapter 7: Bird of Flame

You faced Todo off in a clearing. Everyone else was at the far side watching. “Just run away if it gets too much.” You worriedly said to Miwa and Mai pushing them back.

“It’s okay, I’ll hold off any attacks.” Noritoshi assured you. You beamed up at him, “Thanks senpai.”

“Someone’s being awfully friendly today.” Momo half coughed and half murmured out. Noritoshi just gave her the side eye.

As per your style of fighting, you stayed still if you did not know of your opponent’s cursed technique.

“I won’t immobilise you this time since we are sparring.” You called out to Todo. “Fine with me!”

You could hold out your protective space warping around you for several hours. You just had to make sure it was activated in the space around you.

Todo didn’t hesitate to start off with punches and kicks. Nothing moved you of course. 5 minutes passed with him getting nowhere. Is that all he has?

You narrowed your eyes, but lifted a hand to push him back into a tree. You manipulated its branches such that they were all pointing to him. He was about to hit them until he clapped his hands and suddenly, you were there.

Your eyes widened, barely having time to brace yourself as you guarded for impact. You hit the branches hard. “Shit.” Looks like you might have to use your extended techniques against him.

He was in front of you in a split second and you quickly moved to dodge. You tried to maneuver your way around him, but it was hard to pinpoint the exact origin of the hits as he kept swapping your positions before landing a hit.

Sometimes, when you brace for a hit, he doesn’t swap your positions. How annoying!!! Of course your spacial barrier is still active and taking the hits for you, but it does have its limits.

Moving at mach speed in a short distant range won’t help you too much as it’s better for transport rather than combat.

You breathed out low and slow, before channeling your concentration into your 6th sense. Spatial awareness. Faster and faster, you started bracing for his hits and pushing him back.

And when he was unprepared you lashed out with your hidden twin blade only for him to dodge it. You can’t deny that the 2nd year's have more experience than you in battle. And Todo's specialty is obviously close combat.

You had both blades out now quickly slashing at him dangerously. He avoids it and the slashes cut all the way to the trees behind him.

You gave in, sheathing your blades and turning around to recuperate but he was faster as he finally caught you by the arm. “I got you!”

You grinned. Who got who?

With one hand, you straightened 4 fingers out towards Todo and folded your thumb into your palm. “Extension cursed technique, focus range: Niflheim”. Your applied cursed technique slows down the movement of molecules in an enclosed area, forcing items to freeze.

A layer of ice covered Todo’s entire body. The branches that binded around him were also covered with ice, stretching behind him in an ice pillar.

You quickly released your hand from his hold and slowly breathed to the sky, releasing an icy smokey breath. You turned around with a slow smile. “Checkmate”

He struggled against the ice but, “I wouldn’t do that if I were you. That is way under 0 degrees celsius. You might lose a limb or 2 Todo senpai.”

He sighed, “I g-g-guh-give!” He could barely utter the words as his teeth chattered. You gently focused on raising the temperature, melting the ice off of Todo first. You couldn’t do it too fast or else he would combust.

As soon as he was free you reached out and applied your reversed cursed technique on him, healing the cold in his body. “Thank you so much for the match! It’s been a while since I felt that much fun in battle!” You excitedly said.

“Good game. As expected of my little sister, you’re very strong.” Todo patted your head. You stared, “Excuse me, whose little sister??”

“You should have buried him y/n!” Momo exclaimed. “Hear hear.” Mai chanted. Mechamaru just said, “I almost got buried by her once. She should have done the same with him.” You just laughed, “It’s okay, I’m satisfied with this.”

You turned to Noritoshi and he walked up to you and Todo went back. At this distance, the others couldn’t hear your conversation. “That was incredible.” He had a very proud smile on his face. “I hope you take our fight seriously as well. That’s all I ask of you.” He whispered.

“Of course I will senpai. But like with Todo senpai, I won’t use immobilisation techniques so we can spar properly okay?”

“Okay” he patted your shoulder and gave it a small squeeze before moving backwards. ‘Kamo clan, blood manipulation. They can manipulate their blood freely.’ you thought to yourself.

Your eyes zeroed in on his bow and arrows. The smell of blood was always on him, but you bet he had blood on those arrows. “Begin!”

He launched arrows at you only for you to stop them. Projectiles were the worst thing he could do. You frowned as you turned the arrows on him and sent them back. He dodged and shot more.

What on earth? This was so ineffective against yo-

He suddenly came from the side and punched you. Diversionary tactics dummy, you didn’t think about it.

You got pushed back from the force but stood your ground. He was insanely fast for a human. He is currently faster than Todo and any of the male cousins whom you’ve fought with.

It was a jarring experience. “Flowing Red Scale” He moved backwards, one eye wide open with a red blood x mark on it.

Your brain went into overdrive in a hurry to connect the dots while you defended against him. Blood. Red blood cells. Oxygen. He’s increasing his physical abilities.

You quickly lashed out with a double kick only for him to bring out a blood bag. “Blood manipulation: Crimson binding”. Blood strands wrapped around you and caged you in.

But you froze them and easily broke it in the process. You hurried to try and bring him down with mixed martial arts, not wanting to hurt him too much.

Sparring with him actually felt like a dance. You dodged and had an instinct as to where the next move would come from, and he was the same. Barely any hits landed on each other for a while.

Ah right, you promised to go hard on him. You put two hands out in a V shape, with palms facing him. Noritoshi’s eyes widened at the familiar hand signs. It’s the very first one you showed him.

“Tatsumaki” A huge horizontal cyclone hit him and forced him back. “Enhanced Gravity: Output level 4%”

“Aarghhh” Noritoshi groaned as he was forced to the ground. You didn’t notice his hands moving.

“Convergence! Piercing blood” a sudden fast stream of blood shot out and grazed your cheek. It would have been worse had you not moved your head aside. Noritoshi’s eyes widened as blood poured from the wound.

You quickly made tree branches hold his hands apart and forced him back onto the ground. You pointed both your twin blades at his head. “I give!”

You released your technique and knelt down. “Are you oka-”

“Are you okay? I hit your face!” He exclaimed in worry, hand hovering just over your cheek. You stared at him in amusement. “It’s a serious matter!!” he insisted.

You covered your face with one hand, then wiped off the blood to reveal a flawless cheek. He gaped, “Reverse cursed technique. I see. Good fight” He wheezed out.

"You actually hit through my defenses in battle. That was amazing Noritoshi senpai." You whispered in amazement. There was something different about the blood he manipulated.

His bond to it was far stronger than your hold over his blood. So if you tried manipulating his blood, it's a low chance that you could get it to attack him.

You can manipulate anything and everything, even at molecular levels to some extent. But you can't produce what's not there. There seems to be a limit to your manipulation over certain items.

"I still lost. Thank you for the match." He said.

You held his hand for the first time as you pulled him up, when suddenly a searing pain hit the inside of your wrist.

"Ouch!" You exclaimed while Noritoshi winced as well. You both pulled back your sleeves to see a large bird surrounded by flames just below the inner wrist on your right hand. Noritoshi had the exact same symbol, but it was in the inner wrist on his left hand.

You quickly pulled over both your sleeves to cover the markings, “Just say we both got wounds, let’s keep this a secret.” You pulled back and acted on purpose, “Good fight. You almost got me there.”

He naturally followed your lead, but there was a brightness to his eyes that told of something else. “.... Yeah you got me. I’ll do my best to catch up to you next time we spar.”

“What happened?” Utahime ran towards the both of you upon seeing you both flinch forward. “No, Utahime sensei we just got some scrapes that stung badly, nothing too bad.”

“I see. I have a first aid kit on hand, feel free to use it if you need to.” She said, and pushed you two back to where everyone else was.

You both stayed at the back watching the other students ask to spar with each other. Noritoshi quietly tugged at your sleeve, hidden from view with his own large and wide sleeves.

You tugged back twice on his sleeve and grabbed his hand to squeeze it. His hands were rough and calloused from fighting, but also had a tenderness and warmth from the way they tried to hold onto yours.

Both your marks flashed with heat when your hands touched. Noritoshi turned to you with all the world's curiosity in his face.

But you pulled back and put some distance between the two of you so it wouldn't look too obvious. "That binding technique that you did earlier was cool. Is it possible for you to manipulate the blood even after I freeze it solid?" You asked to try and divert the attention.

"Actually I haven't tried yet. But I should be able to as the main composition is still my blood." He admitted.

The remaining time left on the field was spent mostly on the others working on their cursed techniques against each other, and with you engaging in tactical discussion with the other students.

You all bid each other goodbye and went your separate ways. Except… Noritoshi mouthed "library" after he waved you off.

You lifted your eyebrows silently in agreement and walked back with the rest of the 1st year's.

Blood Bound: Table of Contents

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black-coffee-and-sugar · 3 years

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Listen, I actually couldn't finish this episode. Like I lost brain cells, got ingestion and finally KO-ed because I could NOT grasp the plot. Not even seeing Lena again made this enjoyable for me. But here's what I got:

- I wonder how many takes Thomas took to say Nxyly's full name without biting his tongue off

- also I am so sorry Thomas that they had you sing. And yet somehow that wasn't the most cringe thing to happen in this episode

- Nia and Kara desperately assigning blame to themselves instead of just, idk, working together to fix the problem. Who cares who's fault it is??

- Alex jumping in front of kara when mxy brandishes the PZ projector is the only thing I liked

- Kelly's absence felt so odd after 2 back to back episodes of her front and centre

- Nia thinking that Kara would drag her for making a mistake makes me wonder if these characters even know each other

- kara: "I should've told you guys about Nxyly". Yes you idiot you absolutely should have! Like I get that they don't wanna bring it up but like how is ignoring what happened to her any better? Do they not do any Intel sharing?

- the fucking zookeeper is still here?!?!?

- look I wasn't expecting Lena to be talking to kara on the phone, I know better than that, but I had hoped it would at least be Nia considering that Lena and her have been bonding over their moms and it just makes sense??

- andrea's titty window sans kara or Lena to see it. What was it all for?

- I understand Lena using Andrea's resources to help her out and shit and I'm actually surprised the writer's remembered she doesn't have access to the LuthorCorp jet anymore. I honestly wouldn't have batted an eye if she did tho.

- the way we haven't had ANY scenes of dialogue between kara and lena aside from 6x01 and only ONE line from kara to Lena since then. Like are they actually going to brush everything under the goddamn rug? We heard from Alex that they've forgiven each other and it seems that way too but we haven't actually had the chance to judge that as an audience and it's (checks notes) 11 episodes already???

-Kara is back and yet Lena doesn't seem full. Kara is back and yet she hasn't been vulnerable with lena or with anyone really. Or was that all a lie?

- Nxyly is actually kinda hot in this episode. Interesting development there

- the team actually fighting a giant pussy cat and more brain cells have died. If they were hoping it would be amusing like the Legends fighting a giant Beebo, spoiler alert - it was not

- mxy and Nxyly and even the king has some keysmash names but one imp is actually named Jared? Just fucking Jared. Christ

- Lena being bullied by a bunch of Canadians is hilarious and I say this as a Canadian. Like Lena has stood her ground against Lex, Lillian, SG, an interrogation room filled with judgemental pricks, fucking Reign and yet, she looked two seconds from crying when denied her hotel room by some fucking Newfies. Get the fuck outa here.

- not a single Tim Hortons run in this entire episode. Are we sure she even went to Canada???

- at one point, I was rooting for Nxyly to win.

- so not only did they bring back that god awful wig that they actually had the audacity to make footage with it? That thing needs to be snatched and thrown into the sun like the trash monster.

- Katie looked so done in this episode and I don't even blame her. I suffered second hand embarrassment on her behalf. Those lines, her behaviour. It's like what the fuck happened to the Lena from the past 4 seasons?

- the mean bartender says "I've seen you on the news running arm in arm with a bulletproof alien" and the places my mind went is probably why I didn't pay any attention to the rest of the episode.

- so lemme see if I have this right. Lena's mom visits the cave lady in her dreams but never once thought to visit her traumatized little daughter?

- am I supposed to be upset that they killed an abuser? Because I'm not

- so much porn shots of the town car driving up and down some sketch and lonely road

- did Google maps really lead Lena to some random cave?? Bruh

- Lena's scenes felt so disconnected for a minute I thought I was watching a completely different show.

- aluminum foil on the props lord did they just say fuck it and made a Dollarama run for the cheapest 200ft roll they could buy?

- Kara being a mentor to Nia for the first time since that Nia centric episode last season. God I hate it here.

- they do remember J'onn is a shape shifter right? Why do we need an image inducer? I get the little Lena is still with the team crumb but it's stupid.

- still no word on M'gann huh

- yo since the Luthors are technically perceived on Earth-Prime as "good", what trail of bodies is this bar lady talking about? This isn't public knowledge and Lena's mom only killed 1 dude who frankly deserved it.

- sigh. We're really doing this witch Lena thing then.

- kara stop trying to reach the good in people! Just stop. When has this bullshit EVER WORKED? Some people are just too far gone. Accept it.

- stronger together has truly lost meaning on this show

- Alex and Kara being so willing to hold much less use the PZ projector is utter bullshit. Also they just have that thing lying around for any grabby hands to take?

- what the actual fuck is Kara's arc this season? Or Alex? Or poor J'onn. The man has been seriously neglected.

- kara is supposed to be the most powerful being on the planet and yet this show continues to nerf her abilities. God I missed the days of S1 when Kara looked like she could fuck shit up.

- also when is kara going to be the focus of her own show again? Are we ever going to properly address Kara's issues? We got two episodes of James processing his trauma and only 5 mins of flashbacks in 6x08 for Kara and a few fleeting moments sprinkled across the last 5 seasons. Ridiculous. Like it won't diminish her as a character to seek professional help, it won't make her any less of a hero. Think of how impactful that would be and the message that could send about the importance of mental health.

- glad to see a promo for this important episode next week (I honestly can't wait - Kelly in a head wrap is so personal to me y'all) but please I'm begging you, do not make the issue of race come at the expense of kara's intelligence and awareness. She's a journalist, she's seen xenophobia and written about it, she's been friends with James for years. Kara knows about racism. Please show that.

Needless to say I did not enjoy this episode at all. I was happy to see Lena again but all her scenes were just hard to watch. I feel like so much of their very limited time is being wasted and there's still so many things they haven't touched upon yet. When exactly are we gonna get to it? Better question, will we ever get to it? Probably not.

Like I wanted to see the super friends communicating, leaning on each other, character growth, being truly stronger together but no. They're giving us literally anything but that and it's frustrating.

#every week i ask myself #why are you still watching this mess?#idk self. idk #supercorp #supergirl

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ciderxi · 3 years

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She was supposed to be mine. 1

Title: She was supposed to be mine

Chapter- prologue + One

Pairing San x Reader X Yeosang

Word Count:1.8k

Warnings: Mild Yandere in future chapters. Future mentions of abuse, smut, fluff, Jealous San and Yeosang, Love triangle

Starts off fluffy, gets dark towards further chapters.

It had taken months for you to save just enough to not only buy concert tickets, but get tickets for the exclusive fanmeets as well. Months of practically turning yourself into a hermit just to save enough to see Yeosang in person. But it was finally the day. You started off by waking up in a panicked stupor, skin flush as you quickly examined your surroundings.

"Well that was..weird" You looked down at your stomach, rubbing the moody flab as you sat up in bed. You just had a really bad feeling in the pit of your stomach. As if it was trying, no, forcing you to stay in today. But that wasn't an option. You had the concert and fan meet today! There was no way in hell that you were going to miss that.

You quickly forced yourself out of bed, skipping breakfast, and immediately going to doll yourself up. Sure you didn't go all out of your makeup everyday, but today was special. You wanted to make sure to leave an impression on Yeosang, even if it was only for a minute.

Once you had gotten to the actual fanmeet, you stared at the endless line of people ahead of you. You swore to yourself that you wouldn't be long, you just need a drink after the concert. After all, all that screaming and singing along like a mad man left you parched. So there you were, already running late and still needing to use the bathroom. You mingled with other atiny's trying to get your mind off your bladder, but the endless laughter made things even worse. You had two choices, leave to the restroom, and lose your spot, or stay in line and risk pissing yourself in front of Ateez...

With that, you begrudgingly ran to the bathrooms. Taking a minute to adjust your hair and makeup before returning to the end of the line.

A long sigh left your lips are you resigned yourself to failure. Now it would be at least another half hour before you got to meet them, if at all. Knowing how busy their schedule was. You grumbled softly to yourself, letting yourself be distracted by the endless videos of Yeosang on your phone. That would at least take your mind off of the wait for now. Although not realizing it yourself, two pair of eyes are watching her... a pair of eyes that'd she would only long for and fall head over heels for. Meanwhile the other pair is someone who she never thought would give her a passing glance. Unknowingly trapping herself in a sticky situation

While the rest of the members were busy with the last of their fans, San watched your oblivious figure almost hungrily, eyeing your every move. To him, you were perfect. Something almost ethereal in nature that he had yet to see before. Whatever it was, he had to have you

Unfortunately for him, she only had eyes for another, Kang Yeosang. All he had to do was make sure he got to her first, and he would make her forget all about Yeosang.

"Yo, San? Hellooo?" Mingi gently shook his band mate, shaking him out from his trance. He was too busy staring at you that he didn't even notice a fan sitting in front of him. He gave an embarrassed apology, then flashed the girl a smile, proceeding as if he wasn't just caught staring at someone.

It was finally time to meet your idols. You held tightly onto the album with one hand, and quickly adjusted your skirt with the other. Oh god I hope my makeup didn't run off. What if I have something on my face? WHAT IF THERE'S TOILET PAPER ON MY SH-

"Hi! I'm San, what's your name beautiful?"

You couldn't help but notice how intently his eyes were fixed on you. Man they weren't lying when they said they give you their full attention. You tried to hold back a smile as your cheeks reddened with embarrassment. "Hi! I'm Y/N, what's your na- I mean uh" you kept tripping over your words and San just smiled back. He reached out to put his hand over yours, feeling almost intoxicated. "Did you want me to sign anything?" He asks sweetly, gesturing towards the album in your hand.

"Oh yeah.. Here" you flip to his page while trying to avoid saying something stupid

"Here" his eyes temporarily leave your gaze to face the album "Who's your bias Y/n?"

"Yeosang! He actually became my bias at first sight " with that one name San stopped writing for a moment. His smile slowly faded into a scowl "Oh..that's cool,Yeosang is really nice" he tried to force back a smile as he finished signing your album "It was nice to meet you Y/n, don't forget to read it~"

You couldn't help but have a heavy feeling in the pit of your stomach, but wasn't sure if the feeling is something you should really worry about or not. Brushing it off as just nerves, you realize it's time to meet the next member so you gather your things. Your eyes immediately leaving from San's gaze.

Mingi noticed the way they reacted to each other, but he brushed it off, figuring that it was just another nervous fan. Although he wasn't the only one who noticed the way San looked at her.

You couldn't help but feel at home with the rest of the members, they were all so kind and seemed like a genuinely good people, cherishing each moment she spent having them sign her album. You couldn't help yourself but laugh at how they were basically all sharing Mingi's last brain cell.

As you reached Yeosang you both smiled at each other unsure who should make the first move. Making a bold move you started the conversation, "Hi.. my name is Y/n and you're my ultimate bias, I can't believe I'm actually getting to meet you." Stunned Yeosang was happy to hear that. He didn't get that many lines so he didn't think he had many fans. "I'm your bias, really? He asks excitedly, not being able to contain his smile. "Of course! You're so talented and sweet! I wish you had more lines"

Yeosang reached for your hand only wanting for the moment to stay like this, not wanting to let go of her hand. You blushed deeply, not expecting to ever get this close to your idol. "Will you sign my album?" you mumbled softly, too ecstatic to speak clearly. " Of course! Anything for you~"And he meant it, all he wanted to do was to get closer to you.

As you were both enjoying each others company, another pair of eyes were watching them, not happy with the sight before him. San watched as you finished your meet with Yeosang, your face that of a blushing bride.

"I won't let you take her away from me" he mumbled to himself

"What was that?" Mingi asked his friend "The fan meets over, why don't you go to one of the backstage rooms for a while? Were leaving in maybe about 2 hours"

San brought up a small smile as he nodded and headed backstage, but waited as he watched as you looked through your album.

"Meet me backstage Y/n, I'll be waiting~ " you rubbed your eyes for a second wondering if you just read that right. Was he joking? Maybe you had won a random contest you didn't know about. Oh well, what was the worst that could happen? You got up as everyone was leaving the fan meet, approaching the backstage as she saw a guard "Hi I'm-"

"Y/n L/n right?" you nodded "Follow me" the rather large man led you to the room, knocked on the door, and left.

San was standing behind the door, he was too excited. She actually came. He quickly opened the door and grabbed you by the wrist, dragging you in and closing the door behind you. Making sure no one saw them enter. Or so he thought.

"You wanted to see me?" you asked a little confused wondering if the other members are coming as well.

Looking around the room you didn't notice how close San was until you actually turned around, their skin so close to touching. Your breathing hitched as you felt his breath hit yours. "I-is there something on my face?". Your heart rate picked up,feeling her breathing becoming uneven. "You're just so beautiful"

San was so close to touching you, wanting to take your body and make you his, and only his. Just for a tease San slowly traced his fingers against your hand then up her arm, noticing the way you shuddered under his touch, but took it as a sign to proceed forward as you didn't step away from him.

San slowly wraps his hand behind your waist, snatching you close enough to smell the sweet perfume of your skin. Your breathing hitched as he inched closer, you like him of course...but you love Yeosang. But at the same time you couldn't deny the way he made you feel. As he inched his lips closer to yours, he could sense your hesitation. Urging him to press his lips against yours before you changed your mind.

Your eyes widened with surprise as you felt his tongue almost begging for entry. Against your better judgement you slowly opened your mouth, hoping to god that no one would walk in, he did lock the door right? In the midst of your thinking San continued to slide his hand lower, squeezing your ass. You let out a soft moan, encouraging him to take it a step further. Your arms roamed around his strong back, slightly digging your nails in, leaning further into the kiss, slowly becoming a moaning mess as you felt his fingers finding their way under your skirt. He briefly parted himself from the kiss, watching as your eyes fluttered back open. "Don't tease me San.."

"I just wanted to make sure you're enjoying this"

"Of course I am!" the neediness clearly showing through your voice.

He had you wrapped around his fingers, and he wasn't about to waste this opportunity. San pulled you close and back into the kiss, his fingers already taking a b-line to the hem of your skirt. Meanwhile making sure to leave a trail of hickeys along her neck.

San wasn't here to play, and neither were you. You lowered your hand to his, taking it and bringing it to your panties, giving him permission to explore. "San~ take me" you cooed under his touch.

San picks you up and places you in the corner, holding her ass as he slowly began thrusting against her "San!"

"Hey San we're about to lea-" Yeosang stopped in his tracks, his heart beginning to ache at the sight before him. The girl he liked, a moaning mess at the hands of his best friend.

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firstdove15 · 3 years

Text

August Reading

This is officially the most books I’ve read in years and I’m still on a roll.

1) Spinning Silver by Naomi Novik (Four Stars)

I found myself enjoying this more than I did Uprooted, which surprised me because I really did enjoy Uprooted and the spins Novik put on her magic system (standard magic vs. working magic in your own way). I blame it on the fact that there’s fae in here. XD Granted, the Staryk king was a major dick but I still found him entertaining because he’s a fae; of course his morals are going to clash with humans. Also ice fae. Need I say more? XD And the tsar...my goodness. Couldn’t stand him at first, but then he showed to be just as much a victim AND having barely a brain cell to run his own freaking country. And I’m saying that generously. At least it’s heavily implied he’s realized how lucky he is to have his wife by his side (’cause she totally saved his tush). The found family juice was strong in this one and I enjoyed every second of it.

2) Boys Run the Riot Volume 2 by Keito Gaku (Four Stars)

I actually enjoyed this as much as I did the first volume so it really should be four and a half stars, but that ending was so not okay. O_O I imagine volume three is going to be more emotionally tense. *hugs baby boy*

3) Gekkan Shoujo Nozaki-kun Volume 11 by Izumi Tsubaki (Four Stars)

There’s no denying that some of the humor is becoming hit or miss but I still chuckle more often than not. <333

4) Gekkan Shoujo Nozaki-kun Volume 12 by Izumi Tsubaki (Four Stars)

See above. I’d totally keep buying the volumes as they come out in English because it’s pretty much modern Ranma 1/2 in terms of character development not being the main priority in its narrative. As long as it makes you chuckle; it’s doing its job.

5) A Deadly Education by Naomi Novik (Four Stars)

Yo, yooooooo. I can’t live in that world. I can’t. I do not envy the characters. If I lived in that world and found out I had magic powers, I’d be screwed. Anyway, I highly enjoyed El and her snark. I didn’t expect this to be a dark comedy and dark comedies are actually up my alley. XD It was nice watching her slowly develop some genuine friendships in an otherwise hostile environment and her dynamic with Orion is where I don’t care where it goes as long as they care about each other. Platonic, romantic, quasiplatonic. I’ll take it.

Also, I’m still lowkey reeling from that last sentence. Best believe I’m buying the sequel.

6) To Your Eternity Volume One by Yoshitok Oma (Three Stars)

I didn’t know how to feel about this one. I mean, it’s well-written but I couldn’t decide if this is the type of story I want to follow because the premise, while fascinating, can possibly lead on the depressing side. I mean, I freaking watched a child get his leg infected and die in his sleep in the first freaking chapter (which I totally saw coming given who the author is, but dang). But judging from screencaps I saw of the manga and the themes going on, I’ll probably continue. Or at least follow the anime.

7) That Kind of Guy by Talia Hibbert (Four Stars)

It’s Hibbert. She writes; I read. All I have left is Wanna Bet? (which apparently got renamed The Roommate Risk) but I look forward to reading it sometime in the future.

8) Allegedly by Tiffany D. Jackson (Four Stars)

I was gonna wait until the start of September to read, but I ended up starting early and finishing early. Monday’s Not Coming broke my heart; Allegedly freaking betrayed me. Like, it’s been two days and I’m still lowkey pissed. XD And the worst part is you can totally recall what counted as hints to the twist and, YMMV, but I thought it was clever. Disturbing, but clever. I found out people either loved the ending or hated it and honestly, both are fair.

9) Grown by Tiffany D. Jackson (Four Stars)

I speed through this in two freaking days. I had to know who killed the man so I could shake their hand. Then when I found out who they were (minor spoiler), it was like, “Yo, he deserved to rot in jail, not this.” Then it was revealed that they started the assault but the finishing blow by the other person was justified. I appreciated that while the novel mentioned a tragic backstory and let you realize why he partially turned out the way he did, it absolutely did not justify what he did to all those girls. Not at all.

Plans for September

Technically I’m ahead of the game because I was gonna read Allegedly and Grown in September, but that means time for other books. <3 So far, I already got started on Let Me Hear a Rhyme by Tiffany D. Jackson. So:

1) Let Me Hear a Rhyme by Tifftany D. Jackson

2) the book S got me for my birthday; I forgot the name but it’s safe in my room for the time being

3) The Last Graduate by Naomi Novik

4) White Smoke by Tiffany D. Jackson

5) The Long Way to a Small, Angry Planet by Becky Chambers

I would roll the dice for the TBR game but this list is enough. XD

#faye reads #as of tonight i've read 59 books #last year was 51 #year before was 57 #dunno why i've rarely encountered a reading slump this year but i'm not complaining #three months to go

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miracul0us-multishipper · 5 years

Text

Welcome to the back (Part 5)

First Chapter Previous Chapter Next Chapter

Thank you so much for all your sweet feedback!

This chapter deals a little more with Lila’s manipulations and their first effects, and both Chat Noir And Felix make a move. With varying degrees of success.

Also, Felix would literally die for Maman Cheng’s Quiche.

- - -

Lila was fuming when she arrived at home.

“Who does he think he is?!”, she spit out between clenched teeth. “He had zero proof!”

And not only had her attempt to win Felix over failed, Hawkmoth hadn’t even sent an Akuma for her! That, or this goddamn beetle had caught it before it had reached her.

“What a dutiful little bug, aren’t you, Ladybug?”, she seethed on. “Always looking out for butterflies. Well, newsflash: you aren’t perfect! And as soon as you let one of them slip through, Volpina is going to kick your ass!”

That brought her thoughts to another pain in her butt and she threw her phone away in frustration. If it weren’t for that pigtailed goody two shoes, Felix would be writing poems of admiration for Lila by now. All these beautiful words, lost because that stupid Marinette couldn’t leave Felix alone. He was unreachable for her now!

Taking a deep breath, Lila tried to calm down.

Don’t do anything rash. We’ve come so far.

She still had Adrien wrapped around her finger. That boy was so eager to believe her, he threw all reason away for some pretty fairy tale. And as long as his father was with her, she had Adrien handled.

Still. Loosing her chance with Felix had... hurt her. She hadn’t realized she’d looked forward to their relationship that much.

Sighing she fell on her bed and grabbed her phone, going through his poems. She’d pictured how everything would go from the moment she’d looked through his bag. He would’ve been smitten with her writing, her poetry resonating with his. Once they were on their date at the Eiffel Tower, he wouldn’t have been able to deny how pretty she looked with the sunset illuminating her face, the wind in her hair... He would’ve intertwined his soft, slender fingers with hers and confessed how connected he felt to her. She would’ve blushed and told him to stop, but he would’ve written her a poem about his feelings for her and kissed her hand. Then they would’ve kissed, just as the sun disappeared and the lights at the tower went on. The rest of the evening, they would have talked about their shared affinity for words and tales, how they both could spin their audiences in webs of emotion and wonder - even though they used different mediums to accomplish that. He would’ve realized that they were the only ones that understood each other, that they were made for each other, that they were soulmates. How they were better than these silly children in their class.

She groaned and turned her phone off, not bearing to see his pretty poems now.

It was all Marinette’s fault! She’d stolen that future from her and Felix!

Lila froze.

Wait a second.

Since when did she give up that easily?! This was Marinette she was talking about! That girl didn’t have enough brain cells to walk properly! She was no opponent for her, Lila Rossi, the cunning Volpina! She was the Queen of Lies, the Master of Manipulation, Gaslighting and Illusions! If she wanted Felix, she’d get Felix!

With renewed determination, she got in front of her computer. She had some research to do!

“There you are, Chaton!” Ladybug greeted her partner. She was still smiling from her encounter with Felix, and determined that this patrol would go smoothly. Chat Noir replied with his usual smirk.

“If you don’t look energized today, My Lady! Happy to see me?”

She chuckled and landed next to him, on the rooftops next to the Seine.

“Come on, Kitty! This city doesn’t patrol itself, you know?”

“Actually, can we wait a few more minutes?” her partner asked with surprising seriousness. “I wanted to talk to you.”

She wanted to refuse - she still had to catch up on her missed history lesson, time was precious - but the pleading look in his big green eyes made her weak.

“Alright” she sighed. “But only shortly! What is it, Kitty?”

He hummed.

“You always call me these pet names. It’s so cute!”

“Chat. Focus.”

“Right! Uh, my dad is... the owner of a business, you know? Famous and renowned across France. He always has to look super professional, or his investors run over to his rivals.”

“Okay?” Ladybug tried to follow, unsure where this was supposed to go.

“You kind of remind me of him, sometimes! You’re both smart, and very serious about your work, and usually too busy.”

She didn’t know if he wanted to compliment or insult her.

“Anyway, my mom and I are very similar, he always says. She used to work for him, as a model. And when they fell in love, my dad was a bit worried a relationship with one of his coworkers might look unprofessional. ‘What would everyone say?’, and so on.”

“And then?”

He shrugged.

“Nothing. They got married and it worked out fine. No problems whatsoever.”

“Huh.”

Chat looked at her, obviously expecting something, so she added: “That’s... a very sweet story. Your parents sound very lucky.”

He beamed.

“Yeah! And luck is just our thing, right?”

“Uh, yes” she agreed carefully. What did they have to do with his parents. “But why are you telling me this?”

“I just wanted to let you know... I understand how important it is for you to look professional. And that I support you, always. You don’t have to worry.”

“Thanks?” She was positively confused now. “I don’t think anybody doubts our professionalism, but... that’s reassuring.”

“You’re welcome.”

He probably meant well, even though she didn’t understand what he was playing at. So when he closed his eyes and leaned in, her mind had yet to catch up. Only when he was actually pressing his lips on hers, it clicked.

She slapped him. Hard.

“Ow! What the-“

“Oh no, that’s my line, Chat! What the fuck?!”, she hissed out, wiping her mouth with her wrist. Chat looked up, his face shifting from shock to betrayal.

“I-I thought-“

“You thought what?! You can just kiss me out of the blue after I repeatedly told you I’m not in love with you?! What don’t you get about that?”

If he looked hurt, she didn’t care. She was tired of this, tired of his advances. For once in her life, she wanted him to listen and understand her!

“I- someone told me you were worried that-“

“Why are you so quick to listen to some bystander, but refuse to hear my very! Clear! Answer!”

“Your answer isn’t clear at all!”, Chat Noir yelled back, getting to his feet. “You say you don’t love me, but you’re acting like you do! You call me pet names, you flirt with me, you kiss me all the time! So either you enjoy leading me on, or you’re lying to both of us about your true feelings!”

“Aaaargh!”, she groaned in frustration, clasping her hands above her head, “You’re impossible!”

“No, I’m simply making my feelings very clear for you! We are partners, and we’re supposed to be honest with each other!”

She tore her hair. He was so stubborn, so obstinate that that he could do no wrong. She wanted to scream.

“Chat, I honestly don’t want you to kiss me.” she tried to keep it simple, lowering her voice to prevent herself from lashing out. But Chat certainly didn’t help at that.

“That’s okay! We can just hold hands, if you want to. Or go for Ice cream.”

“No! I don’t want any of that! Kwamis above!”

“Then what do you want?!

If she didn’t get out of here, she’d do something stupid. Slap him again, probably.

“Leave me alone, Chat.”, she pressed out, her voice breaking.

“What? We’re partners! You- We need each other!”

“I’ll handle patrol from now on.”, she ordered, leaving no room for discussion. “Until you can accept that I don’t reciprocate your feelings, we should only work together when necessary.”

She swallowed, throwing her yo-yo.

“Please, Chat.”

Then she was off, disappearing behind the buildings of Paris. Leaving a stunned, upset Cat behind. It took him a while before he could move, and even longer before he reached his home. Detransforming had never felt so draining to him.

“What the everloving Fluff were you thinking?” Plagg raged as soon as the ring set him free. Adrien groaned.

“Not now, Plagg. I really don’t feel up to this now.”

“You don’t feel up to this?” Plagg snarled incredulously. “I don’t feel up to this! I don’t feel up to anything! Ever! And even I can’t let you do something like this!”

“How should I have known she’d react like this?” the boy defended himself. “Lila said-“

“Volpina-Girl! You know she doesn’t like Ladybug! But somehow you thought her love advice is more credible than the answer Ladybug has been giving you for months!”

“But she’s Ladybug! And I’m her Black Cat! We’re completing each other.”

Plagg shook his head.

“Right now, you overgrown airhead, you are about to loose even the most platonic part of her feelings for you. It’s simple: that or nothing, Kiddo.”

Where Ladybug was lonelier than ever, Marinette was soaring high. After Alya apologized for not believing in her innocence regarding the poems, the others soon followed - much to Lila’s dismay. And the compulsive liar got even angrier after seeing how much closer Marinette and Felix were becoming. Marinette found that she didn’t care.

Felix was... odd. He spoke clear and directly, not caring if he sounded rude. He didn’t like warm temperatures, preferring to hide on the shady yard. He listened to classical music, but had beaten Marinette more than once at Freestyle Clash 2.

(“Rap is poetry as well!”, he had defended himself when she teased him about it.)

He also didn’t like crowds, or people in general. But whenever Marinette was chatting with her classmates, she found him listening attentively, even if his eyes were glued to his book. While he didn’t want to be actively involved, he wasn’t antisocial either.

And to be honest, she appreciated his silent company more than ever when her other friends became... overwhelming. Being around Felix was easy. His mere presence was calming, as if everything was in control.

“Girl, are you there? ‘Cause if I’m not losing my senses you’re staring at Mister Icecold instead of Sunshine Boy.”

Marinette blinked, pulled back into the real world. Alya was looking at her expectantly, eyebrows raised so high they almost vanished beneath her hair.

“I didn’t!”, Marinette insisted, but Alya rolled her eyes.

“Come on, you’ve been hanging out with him and him alone for the past week! What’s up with that?”

“Nothing! I just really like Felix, that’s all. You know I have a crush on Adrien.”

Alya’s eyes were scrutinizing but playful.

“Hm... If you say so?” She chuckled. “I should be glad. Frosty is kind of scaring me, actually. He’s so rude!”

Marinette huffed with arms akimbo.

“He’s just... honest! And hasn’t been around people much. He doesn’t mean to be rude, he just doesn’t want to lie for politeness’ sake either.”

“I don’t mean that. At least, not only that. He’s been glaring at Lila whenever she tries to speak with him.”

Marinette sighed. They’d talked this over at least a dozen times already, and while Marinette didn’t call Lila a Liar openly anymore, she did like to give hints. Which Alya successfully ignored.

“Just... let’s get to class. I don’t want to be late again.”

While Felix hated nothing more than talking during the lessons (“It’s disrespectful!”) he did communicate from time to time. Over the course of the week, they had developed an intricate language of stolen glances and discreet expressions that was comprehensible to them alone.

When Marinette fell into her seat next to him and replied “present” upon hearing her name from Mme Bustier, he gave her a concerned look from her to Alya.

Everything okay with you two?

Marinette shrugged and rolled her eyes.

Just the usual disagreement.

He huffed, concentrating on the lesson, but not without nudging her leg with his knee. His gesture for showing support.

“Before we continue with Napoleon, let me make an announcement.”, Mme Bustier caught her class’s attention. “Since you’ve all been so eager and hardworking during Monsieur Agreste’s bowler hat contest, I’ve been looking for another opportunity to let your creativity run free.”

She smiled at the front row.

“Since Lila has so generously helped me out, You now have the chance to participate in a competition called “Journalism Junior”, hosted by Alec Cataldi and Nadja Chamack.”

The class cheered and Alya high fived Lila, who smiled as Adrien patted her on the shoulder. A sharp pang in Marinette’s chest made her look away.

“If you want to enter the competition, you’ll have to create a report on something that greatly impacted you, until next Friday,” Mme Bustier continued. “It can be about your greatest inspirations or fears, a problem you want to draw attention to or something you want to support. Copying is as always,” a sharp glance at Chloé and Sabrina, “strictly forbidden! This is about an honest and genuine insight into Paris’ youth, so be true to yourselves!”

As soon as Mme Bustier finished, the class was alive with the buzz of excited students.

“Journalism! Not really my specialty, but sounds interesting.”, Marinette beamed at her gloomy neighbor. “I think I’ll do something about fashion! Or baking? Or media design?”

Felix only huffed and Marinette stilled.

“Is... everything okay?”

He blinked and straightened himself.

“Yes, of course. Journalism just isn’t my cup of tea.”

He leaned his head sideways.

“You should do something about fashion. You’re talking about it constantly, and I’ve seen your room. If something has an impact on you, it’s designing.”

“You’re right!”, she agreed, already thinking about what sketches she should work with. “Oh, will you do the report on your poems? No, wait, they’re personal. Your music then? I’ve heard you play the violin in the art room, it’s magical!”

Felix’ cheeks appeared a bit more saturated for a moment, almost as if he were blushing, but it disappeared when he shook his head.

“I won’t participate at all.”, he clarified sternly. “I’ve had enough people trying to peak into my life. But I’ll help you with yours. You’re horrible with deadlines.”

“True”, she grimaced. “But I don’t get why the behavior of other journalists should keep you from trying something out yourself!”

His fingers twitched, betraying that this was about something entirely else. A bit gentler she added: “Are you sure you don’t want to do something of your own? It’s different if other people try to drag your personal life into the limelight, or if you willingly share something on your own terms.”

“Hm...”, he murmured, before giving her one of his rare smiles. “You are exceptionally smart, Marinette. I appreciate your advice.”

She rolled her eyes. He could’ve as well written her a thank you letter, as formal as he was.

“Thanks. But don’t think I haven’t noticed you’re deflecting!”

She backed down anyway. Felix obviously didn’t want to share his thought process with her, but hopefully, he just needed some time.

Or maybe she was just misinterpreting his behavior and blowing things out of proportion. Wouldn’t be the first time for her.

Felix might not look the part, but he did think about what Marinette had said. She was right, of course. There was a difference between someone stealing his secrets, and himself sharing them. But to him it had always been technical at best, a mere incongruence in terminology.

Insisting on being involved in Mum’s company from an early age on had put him in the spotlight far more than he’d anticipated, then. When he took up modeling – the only way to help he was given, his mother didn’t want him to “waste his childhood with adults work” – he’d become a minor celebrity basically overnight. It hadn’t gotten better when he grew up.

He’d always felt like some sort of public property, a puppet for others to project onto, or a fancy building people went sightseeing for on weekends. More than once his mother had to hire security people to ensure he had some semblance of peace outside, without being bothered by fans or paparazzi. His father’s position and... attitude certainly hadn’t helped to give him some personal space. So, at one point... he’d simply stopped going amongst people. And he didn’t mind that!

But the week he’d spent with Marinette, or even Aurore and Marc, had made him realize that while he could be on his own... he didn’t want to, anymore. Not always at least. They were so... generous with everything, sharing help or stories or simply their company with him. Especially Marinette, without ever expecting anything in return.

He wanted to return something, though. Anything to let her know he appreciated her. To make her smile the way she drew out his own.

So when school was over, he waited for her to pack up her things and get ready to go.

“You wouldn’t happen to be free this afternoon?”, he asked quietly. There where a few other students left in the room, Rossi and Agreste among them, and while he’d never concern himself enough with them to whisper, he wouldn’t push his luck either. This afternoon should go as smoothly as possible.

Marinette smiled and nodded.

“Sure! Want to come over for lunch again? Maman made Quiche.”

He saw Adrien perk up four rows further, and Felix himself found his determination waver. The Dupain-Cheng Quiche was a work of high culinary art, as he’d learned the last time he’d visited Marinette. But no! He had to stay strong! This was for Marinette!

“Actually, I’d hoped you came back home with me for lunch.”

He fidgeted a little, which was odd for him since it usually annoyed him on other people.

“It’s as you said, I should try to share things willingly, on my own terms, and you... make me feel like it can’t be that hard.”

Her smile was replaced by a look of surprise and he mentally kicked himself.

“You don’t have to! It was just an idea, but it doesn’t have to be today. Or ever.”

Why would she want to have lunch with him if her parents were already culinary deities? His mere invitation after tasting their creations was an affront to their craft.

To his relief, however, Marinette didn’t seem to mind his proposal.

“I’d love to come over! I’ll just have to call my parents before.”

She gave him one of her playful smirks that usually came before reading him.

“You actually listened to me? I’m impressed!”

His slight pang of disappointment that he wouldn’t get his beloved Quiche today was drowned out by his happiness to enjoy her company a bit longer. When she turned away to call her parents, he realized he should probably give his mother a heads up as well. He sighed. Mum would be over the moon once she heard he was bringing a friend over.

What had he done?

Lila was prepared. She was cool. She was completely fine with Felix asking the walking mess named Marinette out for lunch. And the pen she’d snapped would’ve broken anyway, she was sure.

Not that it mattered. Pigtails could revel in his attention all day, for all she cared. It wouldn’t last.

“Madame Bustier?”, she called the teacher as soon as the other students were gone.

“Lila! Is something the matter?”, the woman asked her new official favorite student. “I hope you didn’t mind that I thanked you in front of the class. I didn’t want to put you in the spotlights so unprompted, but you were a great help and that should be acknowledged.”

Lila smiled modestly.

“Oh, I don’t mind. I just like to help out.”

Herself, first and foremost. The contest was merely a puzzle piece in her scheme.

“Speaking of that,” she continued, “I wanted to ask for a small favor, if it’s no problem.”

“Of course, Lila. What is it?”

“It’s Marinette.” she began, putting on a sheepish face. “We didn’t have the best start, and her behavior last week when I proposed to change the seating again... I think she still holds some sort of grudge against me.”

She paused for a moment, to let the hint settle before she continued.

“I wanted to help her out a bit, so we can become friends! She’s always so busy as class rep, and I fear that the contest might add some weight to her load.”

“That’s so sweet of you! What were you thinking about?”

She had Bustier wrapped around her finger, now.

“Well, I obviously can’t help her with her report.” she mused out loud. “I don’t want to influence her in any way, so she doesn’t get disqualified for copying something by accident. So I hoped I could help her with her class rep duties! Usually, Alya does that, but she’s so passionate about her report and I don’t want to distract her.”

“Very considerate!”, she praised. “What duties would you like to take over for now?”

Now came the important part.

“Oh, Kim has been sick for a while now.” she reminded her. “I wanted to bring him some of the work we did, and inform him about the contest. And the swimming team asked Marinette to bring him the bag he forgot last time. Would it be alright if you gave me his address?”

She seemed to think for a moment before searching for a list in her bag.

“Usually, I’m not allowed to give out personal information.”, the teacher confessed. “But I think in this case, we can call it an exception, don’t we?”

“Of course”, Lila agreed dutifully as she skimmed the list Bustier held out to her. LeChien, Kim... there. And directly above: Leanne, Felix. Smiling, she typed the address into her phone. Felix’ address, of course. Max was already bringing Kim his homework, and the forgotten bag was a lie.

“Thank you so much, Madame!”, Lila said genuinely when she put her phone away and walked towards the door. “Oh, one last thing! Would you maybe... not tell Marinette I asked for this? I want to surprise her.”

“Don’t worry!”, Bustier said cluelessly. “I‘ll forget you asked me for anything.”

“You are the best, Madame! Good bye!”

She didn’t her her teacher’s reply, she was already out of the door. Her phone was on and she pulled up the pictures she’d taken of Felix’ calendar.

He was meticulous when it came to organizing his day, and she was more than grateful for it. He would be home by now, and lunch with his mother would last until 15 o’clock. He’d made a note not to disturb her from 15 to 16 o’clock, since Madame Leanne was in a meeting. From 16 to 18 o’clock, he’d be busy with his violin lessons.

Perfect.

But before her plan could be set in motion, she had another little tale to spin.

“Nino!”, she called when Adrien’s best friend came into her sight. “Wait for me!”

He was alone when she reached him. This was almost too easy.

“Wow, everything alright, dudette?” Nino asked, concerned that she’d hurried so much to catch up to him. “You look kinda rushed.”

She smiled and waved it off.

“I’ll be meeting Jagged Stone soon, and I don’t want to be late. I showed him your latest tape by the way, and he was really impressed.”

“Really?!”

“Yeah! But I really have to hurry now. Could you maybe tell Adrien from me that he doesn’t need to worry. You know, because of the Marinette thing.”

Nino frowned.

“Wait a sec. Marinette thing? Is she or Adrien in trouble?”

Surprised Lila put her hand over her mouth.

“Oh no, he didn’t tell you? Oh, I messed up! I’m so sorry!”

“What did you mess up? C’mon, I’m not telling anyone.”

She looked from side to side, as if worried others might overhear.

“I’m sure he meant to tell you.” she started secretively. “It’s just that... he’s been worried about Marinette. He thought she acted so weirdly over my proposal that Felix should sit with us in the front, that maybe she doesn’t like him. He thinks Marinette is ignoring, or outright bullying Felix.”

“What? I mean, that dude is giving me the creeps, but Marinette is super close with him.”

She forced a smile.

“You’re right, I noticed that too! But, you know, Adrien has been isolated so long... he just doesn’t know how to read the atmosphere, you know?”

“Yeah, he’s kinda oblivious.”

“I just wanted him to stop worrying so much. He was really concerned when he thought Felix and Marinette might not get along.”

Nino gave her a thumbs up.

“Don’t worry about him, I’ll soothe his nerves. You go meet Jagged Stone!”

“Thank you so much!”, she said, and meant every word. He was really useful, even though he made her cringe. “Oh, but maybe don’t tell him you heard this from me. He didn’t tell anyone else, and I don’t want him to think he can’t trust me.”

“Sure thing, dudette!”

“Bye-bye, then! And thank you!”

Lila smiled as she ran off. Everything was fitting perfectly together. The best tool to keep Marinette away from Felix was her crush on Adrien. The best way to use her crush was his dislike of Felix, and his assumption he knew what was best for his friends. The closer he thought them to be, the more he’d try to spread his animosity towards Felix onto Marinette, who’d do everything to please him.

Now Lila only had to wait.

- - -

I’m happy over every reblog, Part 5 is on its way. Here’s the tag list:

@crazycookie13o @a-6-yearold-inside @sinfulfoxbeast @kuroko26 @sternsneeze @zeyheartstaylor @elliecake5 @kristycocopop @yamadochie @sofmimis @enigmaticagitator @offically-over-it @earth-demon @juhavs @omgelisahagemanuniverse @owllover132 @kaydenth3gayden @janaikam @mewwitch

#miramu writes #wttb #welcome to the back #felinette fanfic #ml felix #miraculous ladybug #mlb #marinette dupain cheng #adrien agreste #ml salt #ml spite #felix month

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kingsofneon · 4 years

Note

werewolf ace and reaper sabo? *has been playing treasure cruise and died seeing ace*

OKAY this is not technically headcanons or a prompt but like ill forgive you bc werewolves are pretty great and lik e oh my god what the fuck is that giant-hand design???? ace what the fuck??? fire-ass giant hand cOLLAR WEARING FURRY this is hysterical. and yet! no wolf ears, cowards!

also lmao ok i dont play treasure cruise (i literally have no idea what its abt apart from idk, seasonal outfit shit???) and I GOTTA-- sabo wears ugly-ass clothing in canon yet in this app they’re like AH yes gotta make him BANGIN

like look ace has an excuse bc his outfit is sexy-ugly just like the rest of his clothes but SABO is like “yeah im here to kill you” and you just gotta stand there and take it like “okay sir”

apart from that MASK lmao

anyway in honour of ace’s costume choice have an ace/bo that’s basically crack sorry not sorry you’re welcome

OBVI ace/bo childhood friends look i have a type and that type is them being friends and then forgetting/being taken away from each other, so when mr assassin death squad man rocks up with his mask on and his hood up (bc its a favour for some ppl dragon wants on their side), ace is like YOU’LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE

“yes that is the point?”

and ace gets his cool ass candy-carrying dog to throw shit in sabo’s face and then bc ace is a fuckhead moron he attacks, gets in close so that scythe is a hindrance, not a help, and uses his FUCK BIG HANDS to break Sabo’s mask to pieces

and then ofc: YO WHAT THE FUCK, SABO?

“.......uh what how do you know me”

“BRO it’s ME bro” bc ace has all the brain cell of a college frat boy when trying to explain himself

“......... uh yeah okay” says sabo, confused and annoyed at his mask being broken but then ace is like MAKE OUT TIME

“do you remember tHAT! I WAS YOUR FIRST KISS AND I WILL BE YOUR LAST!”

“UH WHAT” goes sabo but uhh idk i guess this world has magic first kiss powers bc i say so, and he’s like WAIT how do i RECOGNISE YOUR MOUTH

“uh bc i was your first kiss i told you that??”

“blasphemy!” goes sabo and knocks ace unconscious

“fuck why did i do that” goes sabo, two minutes later

“okay i AM taking you alive, get dunked”

welcome to: temporary prisoner ace who’s kinda chill with the scenario bc nobody tries to kill him and they’re kinda nice and also SABO!!!!!

ace absoLUTELY tries to keep chill and unaffected by every time sabo is nice to him his tail starts fuckin THUMPING the floor and they both get embarrassed

BUT SABO CANNOT DENY THE MAGIC OF THE FIRST KISS et all et all and can’t help but fall, but be nice, because he’d already fallen once and the thing that’d gotten between them had been amnesia, not heartbreak

ehhhh a little bit of heartbreak on ace’s side

uh idk they start spending time together and sabo chills with ace in his cell and that leads to “oh well uh- I mean- look maybe we were- prove it to me again.” sabo says stubbornly “prove first kiss” and ace is like u H and kinda flustered but then he’s like OH and realises this is sabo’s way of asking for makeouts because he’s SHIT at feelings

welcome to werewolf/reaper makeouts, ace is basically a firefox motherfucker and hot as shit, sabo’s technically a spirit of the dead and a COLD fuckhead, both of them are like wow look at this tension between us HAHAH NO WE’RE NOT GONNA FUCK WE’RE NOT THERE YET

one time after makeouts ace thinks sabo would have Enough memories back to Handle stuff and he’s like oh man i missed you so much i love u so much, GENERAL SAPPY BS that ace says all the time, like an asshole, and sabo panics bc OFC he doesn’t have enough memories back and i need to move this along

blah blah base gets attacked, ace proves he could’ve gotten out any time he wanted using his scarf which is actually imbued with shapeshifting giant-wolf bullshit, ace saves sabo’s life - and probably a couple of other people idc - annNNNND sabo gets more memories triggered by it + head injury he receives at the end of the battle

He comes to a few days later, (memory returning fault, not injury fault), and ace is by his bedside. professes his regained memories, ace beams and his tail wags like HELLA annnnnnd then ace pouncing on him for excited makeouts turn into sabo being like yep we’re gonna fuck

“on this hOSPITAL BED”

“yep, pants off, let’s go”

they fuck and live happily ever after the end.

#anon #kink talk #saboace #look okay this is 95% crack but i dont know what you want from me bro #answered asks #fave

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pinetasticapple · 4 years

Text

What if we had known each other first and fallen in love second

Lady Wi Fi

Also in ao3 and ffnet!

Adrien hated Tuesdays.

Well, not hated, just despised them for being his unlucky day of staying at school if there was an attack far from the building.

He and Marinette had come up with that system after realizing how suspicious it would be if both went missing for hours on schooldays. Adrien would have Tuesdays and Thursdays to deal with, while Marinette had Mondays and Fridays. Since Wednesday was half-day and Saturday was more likely for Adrien to have a photoshoot, they had left those out.

It didn't take away the stress Adrien had while he listened to their teacher talking about their homework, the seat behind him still empty as there was an akuma way too far from school for both to be absent at the same time. Thankfully it hadn't risen to something that needed him to go run after her for help –he would have gotten a message- but that didn't mean he was going to just go home as soon as the bell rang.

"Is Marinette still in the restroom?" Mme. Bustier asked Alya just as the bell he was waiting for rang.

Adrien waited to get his paper and stuffed it in his bag, waving a quick goodbye to Nino as he dashed out of the building and found a place to transform and catch up with Marinette.

"What's the situation bug?" he asked once he got sight of her.

"Traffic akuma" she sighed "did I miss much of class?"

"Alya got your homework" he grinned "let's get this dealt with shall we?"

"You read my mind" she smiled as she threw her yo-yo.

It didn't take long, the fact that they didn't have to use their powers was the sign of it. However, Chat made sure to make his way to one of the victims of the akuma, smiling as he comforted them and made sure they were alright. He liked this part of his role. Sure, Ladybug got the camera more often but Adrien was so used to them from fashion shows and interviews this was more like a break than anything.

"I should head back home before they think I skipped classes" Ladybug turned to Chat after they moved away from the people "catch you later?"

"Sure thing" he grinned as she threw her yo-yo and dashed away.

Ladybug moved across rooftops, jumping and twirling as she did. She couldn't deny she liked the gymnastic behind it, like the parkour people she had seen before. It was a little liberating.

Soon she found a good place to transform back to Marinette, not far from her home.

"Time flies fast when you're saving the world, the day's already over!" Tikki exclaimed as she peeked out of Marinette's bag, the girl nodding in agreement.

"Tell me about it, I missed an entire half-day of school!" she groaned "I don't even want to look at all the homework I have to do."

"Whoever is behind all of this sure is keeping us on our toes." Tikki crossed her arms.

That made Marinette giggle.

"But you don't have any toes" she smiled as she opened the door to the bakery, greeting her mom who had her bag, courtesy of Alya.

"You seem so forgetful these days, maybe you just need some fresh air and some exercise for that growing brain of yours.

'If only you knew' thought Marinette as she nodded along and dragged her feet up the stairs and towards her room. Adrien had mentioned some literature papers too and probably some math which was making her head pound.

She pulled out her tablet only to blink at the post-it on it.

"What's this?" she peeled it off only for her eyes to widen at the message.

"No way! You think she knows?" Tikki looked at her.

"I doubt it" Marinette put the post-it back on her desk "Alya is always jumping to conclusions before she has her facts straight."

She thought back on the first days after Ladybug had officially shown up in Paris, listening to Alya calling out nearly every girl around to possibly be the heroine.

"But just in case…"

She held out her phone. If it worked to reassure Tikki, she could give Alya a call. But it seemed luck was not on her side.

"No signal?"

Marinette climbed out to her balcony. Only to get the news they were doing maintenance on the cell tower. Well, this just meant she was back to working on homework. Marinette sighed as she pulled out the first assignment. It was going to be a long evening.

She was so focused on her homework and catching up with notes she forgot to call Alya. In fact, she forgot to even go back to her bed since she had fallen asleep on her desk.

"I'm so late!" Marinette rushed to gather her things and get a quick change of clothes. She brushed her teeth at the same time she packed her tablet.

This wasn't her first time but it didn't make her feel any better as she ran to the school and up the stairs to her classroom. Sneaking in wasn't much of a problem, getting a sympathetic smile from Adrien as she slid into her seat, but she couldn't help but notice Alya wasn't there.

Marinette tapped Nino's shoulders and pointed at Alya's seat.

"Where is she?" she whispered as she leaned closer to hear him.

"She's been suspended," Nino muttered back.

"What?!"

"Marinette! If you're going to come late, would you please do it discreetly?" Mme. Bustier called her out, making her cheeks turn red. She muttered an apology and sat back down. Curiosity, however, was biting at the back of her head.

"What happened to her?" she mumbled again.

"The short story?" Nino whispered back "accused to break into Chloe's locker, I mean Ladybug's locker."

"WHAT?!"

"That's it Marinette!" the teacher turned around "go to the principal's office!"

Marinette grabbed her bag and went out with her shoulders slumped, giving Adrien the same confused look he was wearing.

"What are you talking about?" he turned to Nino. Chloe? Ladybug? Was Alya that desperate to find out. He had to agree with Nino. Alya was starting to lose control of that situation. He still shuddered at the thought.

Boy was he glad it was not Chloe.

Marinette meanwhile had arrived at the principal's office shocked to see that he was frozen. Was this the work of an akuma?

The screen turned on, revealing the new victim taunting the principal with…wait.

Marinette glared at the screen. That had to be Alya.

"I'm going to have to save my best friend" she turned to Tikki "spots on!"

Back in the classroom, Adrien stood up the moment the teacher told them to go home. But home was the last place in his mind. If that was Alya, and who else could it be if Hakwmoth had a radar for anguished people, then she was probably going to go after Chloe. He made sure to sneak into a bathroom to transform.

Sneaking out afterwards was easy, soon Chat Noir was perched on the rooftop right in front of Chloe's room, at the top of the luxury hotel she lived at. He zoomed in with his baton, choking a laugh when he saw his childhood friend in what had to be a very well done cosplay of the spotted heroine.

"What in the world?"

"Who's being a sneaky kitty now?" he nearly jumped at Ladybug's voice right next to him.

"You startled me,"

"Oh, then scared kitty?" she giggled.

"Say what you want but we can't deny you have a fan" he smiled at her.

"A copycat?"

Chat tried to contain his laughter.

"Oh, so when you do puns is smooth and on point but when I do them is unnecessary and bad humor?"

"You have a terrible timing" she poked her bell and looked to the hotel "stake out plan?"

"Looks like it" Chat patted next to him for her to sit down "so! Any idea why Alya thinks Chloe is well, you?"

"Beats me" she sighed "but she did leave me a note about it, I wanted to call her but there was no service and then I got caught up with homework and next thing I knew I was late to class and maybe if I was on time I could have prevented her from being suspended- "

"Hey, hey" Chat held her hand "don't push yourself over this, it wasn't your fault."

"I know but," Ladybug squeezed his hand "I can't help but think if I had been there, did you feel this way when Nino got…?"

"Yeah," he sighed "but I'm going to tell you what I told myself, you are here now" he smiled "to save her from Hawkmoth, and that's something you do quite amazing."

"Well," she gave him a small smile "that's because I have one great partner by my side."

They stayed there, waiting for Lady Wifi to show up, observing Chloe's acting of Ladybug until it was nighttime. It was then that they finally caught sight of the akuma, both jumping to action to reach her right as she "revealed" Ladybug's identity.

"Sorry to bust your news story, next time you should double-check your facts" Chat grinned as Ladybug tried to contain her face from showing a reaction. He did have a point.

"You'll be sorry," Lady Wifi snarled at them, undoing her powers on Chloe and turning her full attention to them.

"I'm Lady Wifi! Ladybug, let's find out who you really are!"

They dodged and sneaked out of the room, taking the stairs floors below as Ladybug tried to come up with a way to save her friend. She was using her phone, so that meant she should need a signal to have it available.

"So, what's the plan?" Chat asked as they kept running.

"Let's lead her down to the basement where there isn't any service!"

They reached the very bottom, and right as Ladybug thought so, Lady Wifi's power couldn't reach them.

"Smart move bug," Chat nodded "now what?"

"Uh…" the slamming of doors made them look up "she's gone back into the hotel!"

They ran back up the stairs, only to realize the doors were locked.

"Seriously?!" Chat groaned as they ran "I don't need this much cardio in my life!"

"Focus Chat!" Ladybug panted as she kept running up the stairs.

"I am focused!" he yelled back "see? That one is unlocked."

Ladybug glared at it.

"It's a trap isn't it?" Chat took out his baton.

"Get ready for one then," she took a step back and counted "1…2…3!"

They kicked the door open and got into what had to be the hotel's restaurant.

"Huh, didn't know she had many phones" Chat mumbled as they took cautious steps forward.

"What's up with them?"

It seemed they got their answer when Lady Wifi showed up from one of them, attacking both with her pause button.

Chat dodged them without a problem but soon found himself overwhelmed by being the center of her attention, ending up with himself slammed against a table.

"Chat!" Ladybug threw her yo-yo at Lady Wifi, but she was using her teleporting skill to move away from her.

Ladybug glared at the phones and started to smash them one by one with her yo-yo, limiting her access to tele transporting. Lady Wifi sneaked past her and ran to the kitchen, but it turned out to be another trap as she locked the door right after Ladybug walked in.

Chat banged at the locked door.

"Hang on LB!" he called out as he opened the screen of his baton. He was not going to let the akuma reveal her identity to the city.

"Of course!" he grinned "the service elevator!"

Ladybug heard his steps further from the door and hoped he knew how to get in the kitchen. In the meantime, she fought her way to avoid Lady Wifi's attacks, thankful that she knew her way around the kitchen to know where to find the pots and throw them in self-defense, but soon she found herself trapped between counters, her arms frozen to the wall.

Lady Wifi smirked and started to broadcast.

"Who is Ladybug? Is she a super hero or a super weirdo?"

Rude, much?

"How can we trust the girl when we have no idea of who she really is? We have the right to know!"

It was a good thing Alya was akumatized because that was the worst way to want to know who she was under the mask. Ladybug winced when she felt fingers pulling at her face.

"Why doesn't it come off!?"

"Uh, because it's magic?"

Seriously, between magic powers and everything that had to be obvious, even for an akuma.

The service elevator door buzzed open, Chat Noir jumping out of it with baton at hand.

"You're out of minutes Lady Wifi!"

Ladybug tried not to chuckle. That was indeed good timing.

"Oh, how romantic," Lady Wifi sneered "tomcat has come to save his love bug."

"W-what?" both Chat Noir and Ladybug turned to her.

"I'm not his love bug!"

"We're not together?!"

Chat managed to snap out of his surprise as he dodged another attack from Lady Wifi, only to get hit again right in the chest and thrown to the freezer, the door magically locked behind him. Worse of all, his ring fell off, Plagg pulled out immediately from it.

"So chilly in here!" he shivered as Adrien patted the ground around, looking for it. This was bad, if Lady Wifi opened that door he was screwed.

"Well, well, well" Lady Wifi smirked, "what am I going to do with both of you?"

Ladybug struggled against the restrains just as a purple light appeared on Alya's face. She had seen it before; Hawkmoth was talking to her through her mind.

"If you don't get him out fast, your crush will soon be slushed!" Lady Wifi laughed as she undid the bounds on Ladybug "good luck with your cat popsicle! I have other news to cover!"

She disappeared with her teleporting skills, but that didn't help Ladybug at all.

And why did she say crush? She shook her head. Wrong thing to focus at the moment.

"Chat!" she ran to the freezer door, kicking at it and slamming against it, but nothing was good enough to break the magic lock.

"I'll get you out of there!"

"Please!" Adrien shivered "but also take your time!"

"What? You'll freeze in there!" Ladybug shouted as she looked around for something to help her. It was no use; she would have to call it sooner.

"Lucky charm!" she yelled as a metal box fell on her hands.

"This better be some lucky box" she muttered, only to notice the 'do not microwave' sign and the gears in her head started to spin. This wasn't exactly magic, what Lady Wifi was doing was thanks to phone technology and something she could stop it with was…

"Of course! The microwaves!"

She moved fast to pull the microwave to the freezer door and stuck the box inside. Her plan worked as the microwave imploded but the lock was long gone from the door.

"Yes!"

Adrien heard the beeping outside but he smirked as he finally caught up to his ring, transforming just before Ladybug opened the door.

"Chat!" she caught him before he could fall. Who would have thought freezers would leave you so numb in short time?

"Oh no," he looked at her earrings "you used your Lucky Charm bug! There's not much time left!"

"Well I wasn't going to let you freeze" she helped him to stand up, but it was true. She had a few minutes before turning back and there was a projection of them probably all over Paris right now.

She looked at the door and the microwave.

"I know what to do," she pulled him close so to whisper on his ear.

Chat nodded. Leave it to her to find out the solution every time.

"You can count on me" he grinned as he grabbed a pot to cover the projection.

"I'll go and jam the Wi-Fi antenna," he said as he climbed back to the elevator service.

"Good luck!" he heard her say as he went up to the top floor, only to be received with more projectiles from Lady Wi-Fi.

It was a good thing he knew that was going to happen. Chat sneaked back to the stair doors, running to the rooftop. Time was on the essence this time and he was not going to let Ladybug down.

"Cataclysm!" he called out for his magic as he reached the antenna, only to be stopped again by Lady Wi fi.

Well, his job was never easy.

"I'm not going to let you cut me off so easily!" she threw more projectiles at him, Chat dodging them while trying to avoid wasting his Cataclysm. He threw his baton at her, smirking as it divided in two, the perfect distraction for him to sneak to the antenna and slamming his hand into it, the metal corroding as Lady Wi-Fi fell to the rooftop.

"Give me that phone!" he jumped at her. Even if she was magically powerless, he couldn't risk the chance of Ladybug running out of time and showing her identity. But boy did he not expect Alya to sucker punch and kick him hard.

Chat tried to lunge at her phone again, only to be pinned down to the ground, with lady Wi Fi's phone out of reach.

"Hah!" she exclaimed just as a familiar string appeared to wrap around her wrist and pulled her back, the phone flying above her head. Ladybug jumped ahead and grabbed the flying phone, slamming it hard to release it from the purple butterfly.

"No more evil-doing for you little akuma" she smiled as she caught the butterfly, purifying it and letting it go.

"Miraculous ladybug!"

This was her favorite part, looking at the magic ladybugs floating around the city and fixing everything that had been caused by Hawkmoth. She smiled at Chat as she offered her fist, Chat grinning as they did their salute.

"Pound it!"

They smiled at Alya's rambling and fangirling, but as much as Ladybug wanted to stay, the beep in her earrings told her otherwise.

"Got to go, you only have a minute!" Chat said and turned around, leading Ladybug down the stairs and to the supply closet that was at the reception. It was a good thing he knew some hiding spots in this place.

"In, in, come on" he pushed her inside and closed the door behind him, just as the magic washed away from her.

"That was close" she caught Tikki in her hands "thanks."

"One can't be too sure," he grinned as he peeked out of the door "coast is clear, you can sneak out."

"Got it," Marinette moved to the door and smiled at him "see you tomorrow?"

"Of course bug" he smiled at her as she left the supply closet.

It had been a fight alright, Marinette couldn't believe how close she had been to have her identity discovered, let alone by Alya of all people.

"Sometimes I wonder what would have happened if we didn't know," Marinette mused the next day as she and Tikki relaxed on the balcony.

"Would you have told him?"

"Maybe not yet" she shrugged "I'm glad it was on accident but who knows yet how different everything would be."

"Got it!"

Marinette yelped and turned around just in time to see Alya coming from her trapdoor, showing up a new smartphone in her hand.

Marinette let her breath calm down from the surprise and smiled as she looked at Alya gushing about her new phone and showing her the really high quality of the camera.

"And what's with all the photos of Adrien?" she couldn't help but to ask "are you going to tell me he's Ladybug now?"

"Very funny" she showed Marinette another photo "but now that you mention it, with a mask and a costume, don't you think he looks a little bit like Chat Noir?"

Marinette's eyes widened. As far as Alya's hunts went this was the closest one she had got.

"Are you out of your mind?!" she looked at her, baffled when Alya just raised an eyebrow. Oh, she overreacted, she had to fix this fast before Alya went after Adrien. Oh, she would apologize to him later.

"Chat Noir is way too chaotic to Adrien's poshness,"

"Is that even a word?" Alya smiled.

"You know what I meant" Marinette smiled back "but we can always check it out in your new phone!" she snatched it from Alya's hand, laughing as the girl went after her.

If she deleted the photoshopped photo of Adrien as Chat Noir, well, she could throw it away to her clumsiness.

#miraculous ladybug #ml fanfic #fanfiction #fan fic #miraculous ladybug fanfic

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pastaraa-blog · 6 years

Text

Even With The Enemy (Ch.2/?)

SUMMARY: A series of dead bodies turn up in Seoul and Inspector Min Yoongi is assigned to the case. The police are quick to assume that it’s a serial killer running loose but Yoongi has other ideas. There’s more to this case than meets the eye.

PAIRING: Kim Taehyung | V / Min Yoongi | Suga

!!WARNING for graphic depictions of violence!!

Also on AO3

CHAPTER 2 - JIMIN AND HANSUNG

Lee Jung In. 35 years old. His body was found in a back alley at 2 a.m. on Sunday. He had five stab wounds – one on each leg, one on each hand, and one on the chest, which directly pierced his heart and ultimately killed him.

Kim Byung Ho. 36 years old. His body was found floating on a river at 11 a.m. on Tuesday. He had multiple lacerations on his torso and back and exactly eight stab wounds, three of which hit major arteries and caused severe bleeding. He died from blood loss.

Kim Hyun Woo. 38 years old. His body was found in a ditch at 10 p.m. on Friday. His body had the most physical trauma among the three victims and showed clear signs of torture. All of his fingers had been broken and all of his nails had been removed. He had broken ribs, multiple lacerations and stab wounds, and a head injury likely caused by a blunt object. The cause of his death was a collapsed lung resulting from a stab wound on the chest.

All three bodies had traces of two chemical substances, one was designed to render the victims unconscious while the other one was a slow-acting poison that caused paralysis.

All three victims were members of the Baeksaja, a gang notorious for dealing in drug trafficking and the sex trade behind their ‘legal’ business of owning clubs in the red light district.

Yoongi closed the folder and leaned back in his chair. He looked at the clock on his wall and saw that it was half past midnight. He was probably the only one left at the station. He had been so absorbed in reading the file, he had lost track of time.

It had been a while since Yoongi came across a case as troublesome as this. All three victims were known gang members and undoubtedly had their share of enemies so narrowing it down was going to be difficult. The use of similar chemicals suggested that the crimes had been committed either by the same person or a group of people who had contact with each other. If it was a group, it could be the work of a rival gang like Yoongi guessed earlier, however, based on the reports, Yoongi was more inclined to think that the murders were committed by the same person.

According to the autopsy, several of the victims’ stab wounds were of near-identical sizes, indicating that at least one similar knife had been used on all three of them. Unless gangs were now giving out standard-issue knives to all their members, these near-identical stab wounds could mean that the knife used on all three victims may have been owned by one person.

A knock on the door interrupted Yoongi’s thoughts. He muttered a quick ‘come in’ and the door opened, revealing Namjoon.

“Hey, I’m planning to head out soon,” Namjoon said, “Are you going to stay here?”

Yoongi stretched his hands above his head and yawned. “Nah, I’m heading out with you.” He got up from his chair and gathered his things. “I’m done for tonight. This case you’ve given me has tired me out.”

“So I guess you’ve finished reading all of it?” Namjoon had the audacity to look apologetic after piling such a taxing case on Yoongi’s lap. “What do you think?”

“You couldn’t wait until tomorrow? I thought you said you were heading out.”

“Nothing comprehensive. Just your initial thoughts. I’d like to hear them while it’s fresh on your mind.”

Yoongi decided to give in. Denying Namjoon was difficult enough when he wasn’t bone weary. “I think our perp is just one person,” he said, “and this is more of a hunch right now but, judging by how the method of killing became bloodier and more gruesome with each victim, I think this was the work of someone with a personal vendetta. Either that or our perp is simply a sadistic bastard.”

“Hmm…” Namjoon nodded, “I thought the same thing, actually. Though you’re correct, it’s just a hunch right now, which is why I wanted you to take a look at the case. Hearing you say the same thing validates my initial assumptions.”

“As flattered as I am to hear that you value my opinion that much, my brain cells are pretty much dead right now. Can we save this conversation for later?” It was just as well that Namjoon and Yoongi had a friendly relationship. If this were anyone else, Yoongi would be receiving a stern reprimand for daring to talk to his superior officer in such a manner.

“Ah, sorry. I almost got carried away there. We should both get some rest. I have a feeling we’re going to have a long day tomorrow,” Namjoon stopped to look at his watch, “Or should I say, later today.”

“I couldn’t agree more.”

Dried leaves cracked under Jimin’s shoes as he trudged along the busy streets of Seoul. He tugged at his scarf and pulled his jacket tighter. It was nearing the end of October and the temperature had already dropped too much for his liking. Winter was going to be such a pain this year.

“Yo, Park Jimin!” A man on the street bellowed, catching the attention of bystanders. Jimin recognized the deep voice – would recognize it anywhere.

Jimin turned around to face the man. “Yo, Park Hansung! Don’t go shouting in the streets!”

The man, Hansung, gave Jimin a cheeky grin. “But you did too!”

“Yeah, but you started it!” Jimin replied, knowing full well that it made him sound like a child keeping up a stupid argument. He stopped walking and waited for Hansung to catch up to him. “What are you doing out this early? Doesn’t the shop open until later?” He asked once they were walking side by side, voice now down to an acceptable volume.

“Our vegetable delivery guy is out sick today so I’m supposed to pick up our supply from the market,” Hansung said through a yawn. He was cheerful like he usually was but now that Jimin was looking closely, it was apparent that he was tired.

“Didn’t get much sleep last night?” Jimin knew that Hansung worked multiple jobs to make ends meet but this was the first time he was seeing him this tired in the morning.

“You could say that. I haven’t had much time to sleep the past week.”

“You didn’t get another part-time job, did you?” Jimin asked, concern lacing his tone. “You can’t keep on pushing your body like that, Hansung-ah.”

“This coming from Park Jimin? The Park Jimin who stayed behind every day after training and pulled weekly all-nighters back when he was at the police academy? That Park Jimin?”

“That was a situation where only I could do something to improve my performance so I did it. This is different. If you’re short on money then you can always come to me. You don’t need to get another job. You work too much already.”

“I always say this but you’re too kind, Jimin.” Hansung gave Jimin a fond smile. “Thank you for offering but I can’t take your money.”

“Hansung, you don’t–”

“I’m doing fine on the money front, don’t worry. In fact, I didn’t get another job.” Hansung added a wink for good measure. “I was just caught up in things last week but I’m all good. I know how to pace myself.”

Jimin was still a bit skeptical – Hansung had a habit of making light of his problems so as not to worry others – but let the topic slide for the moment. “As long as you’re taking care of yourself…”

“I am, I promise. Buuut, enough about me! How about you? How was your first day at the station?”

Jimin swallowed the sigh that was his impulsive response to that question. That would only make Hansung worry. “It went well, actually. The Senior Inspector in charge of our station seems like a really nice guy and I met a Senior Officer who was very friendly and introduced me to everyone.” It wasn’t a lie. All of those things did happen on his first day and if Jimin chose to omit the part where his direct superior seemed to find him annoying and had been more than happy to foist him off onto other people as soon as possible, Hansung was none the wiser.

“That’s great! I’m happy that your first day went well. I remember you were worrying so much about your colleagues bullying you or something,” Hansung said with a teasing smirk, “I told you those stories were just made up to scare newbies and you didn’t believe me.”

“Hey, don’t make fun of me! Those things do happen! I’m just lucky I got assigned to a station with decent senior officers.” Senior Inspector Min seemed like he didn’t want to have anything to do with Jimin but he hadn’t been cruel. Gruff and aloof, maybe, but not cruel. Jimin should probably be thankful for that.

“Hmm, if you say so…” Hansung looked reasonably impressed, of what Jimin wasn’t quite sure. “But if anyone bullies you, just tell me and I’d go over there to give them a talking to!”

To anyone else, Hansung’s words probably sounded like a joke but Jimin knew that he was serious. “Hansung, I don’t think making a scene inside a police station is a good idea, but thanks for always having my back,” Jimin said. Hansung often had silly ideas but Jimin knew he always meant well.

Sharing a morning walk with his best friend was a balm for Jimin’s soul and he had arrived at the station in considerably high spirits. Unfortunately, not even the pleasant start to his morning was enough to shield him from the ominous air that greeted him when he stepped into Senior Inspector Min’s office.

In Senior Inspector Min’s hurry to get rid of him the day before, Jimin had forgotten to give the man a copy of his assignment papers. Jimin had thought it would be okay for him to drop by the Senior Inspector’s office early in the morning to hand the papers over but he hadn’t expected to walk into what appeared to be a very important meeting between Senior Inspector Min and Senior Inspector Kim. Judging by the clouded look on the two men’s faces, Jimin guessed that whatever it was they were talking about, it was a terrible situation that was way, way above Jimin’s pay grade.

“Were you eavesdropping?” That was Senior Inspector Min and he looked pissed. Granted, the man seemed to have a resting annoyed face but this time, Jimin could tell that he was really quite angry.

“N-no, sir.” Came Jimin’s quick denial. The last thing he wanted was for his superior officers to think that he was up to no good on his second day at work.

“Uh huh?” Senior Inspector Min didn’t look convinced. “So what, they don’t teach you how to knock at the academy?”

“Uhm, I – I was… ” Jimin felt like his heart was lodged in his throat. He contemplated the merits of telling Senior Inspector Min that he did knock before entering but the two senior inspectors seemed to have been too engrossed in their discussion to notice or to respond so Jimin decided to push the door just a little to see if there was anyone inside. It was just Jimin’s luck that Senior Inspector Kim opened the door at the same time so he had been dragged into the room without warning, effectively barging into the senior officers’ tense meeting. Jimin found the whole experience mortifying, really.

“Yoongi, please don’t scare him,” Senior Inspector Kim said and Jimin felt like he could kiss the man in gratitude. “Relax, Officer Park. I don’t believe that you were eavesdropping and I’m pretty sure forgetting to knock once in a while isn’t a punishable offense. I know I’m guilty of the same thing sometimes.”

It wouldn’t be an exaggeration to say that Senior Inspector Kim was one of the nicest, most respectable guys Jimin had ever met in his entire life. Jimin was blessed to have been assigned to this man’s station.

“Thank you, sir!” Jimin bowed ninety degrees. “And I’m sorry for barging into your meeting, sir!”

“It’s fine. We were done here anyway. I’m leaving you two.” Senior Inspector Kim clapped Jimin’s shoulder on his way out. “Yoongi, don’t be too harsh on him.”

Jimin only rose from his bow when he heard the door click shut behind him. Senior Inspector Kim was very kind about the whole thing but now, Jimin was alone with Senior Inspector Min and without a buffer, he might very well be put through the wringer by his direct superior.

Senior Inspector Min sighed. To Jimin’s relief, the words from Senior Inspector Kim seemed to have mollified him. “I suppose I should have told you this yesterday but, Rule Number One – knock if you want to enter my office. If you don’t hear an answer, don’t come in. Are we clear?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Rule Number Two, don’t ever eavesdrop on any conversation happening inside this office. Or any office for that matter. Clearances exist for a reason and there are things you don’t need to know.”

“Yes, sir.” Jimin felt that particular scolding was underserved as he hadn’t been eavesdropping but he wasn’t about to talk back to his superior officer like that.

“And Rule Number Three.” Senior Inspector Min rose from his seat and walked towards Jimin. “Don’t be so fucking meek all the damn time. I don’t appreciate insubordination but I hate mindless obedience even more. There’s a fine line between the two, learn to thread it, otherwise, you’ll never survive this job. Do you understand?” It was probably only Jimin’s imagination but there seemed to be a hint of concern in Senior Inspector Min’s tone.

“Yes, sir. I understand.”

to be continued…

#fanfic #taegi #bts #taegi au #bts au #bts fanfic #ewte

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muses14 · 3 years

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Original 151 Poke’mon

And what it says about you! By: James Grebey This is a fun read! :D Bulbasaur — You’re accessible, reliable, and don’t like to be challenged. If you did like a challenge, you wouldn’t have chosen the starter that can steamroll the first two gyms. Ivysaur — You’re starting to be a “real adult,” so you pay your own cell-phone bill. Venusaur — You’ve had to deal with several rounds of layoffs and all sorts of bullshit, and your body hurts and you’re just goddamn tired and full of resentment. Charmander — You’ve fooled everyone—maybe even yourself—into thinking that you’re all cute and sweet, but there is a fire inside you and you are ready to let folks know that they’ve wronged you. Charmeleon — Your favorite soda is Diet Mountain Dew. Charizard — You think of yourself as a scrappy underdog, despite being undeniably popular and powerful. Ninety percent chance you’re a Boston sports fan. Squirtle — You’re sweet and innocent and are blessed with the ability to rock any pair of sunglasses. Wartortle — You’re a little upset when people don’t comment on your new haircut, even though you totally did not get it for the attention. Blastoise — Your favorite genre of movie is military documentary. Caterpie — You have low expectations for yourself, but the key is finding joy in the ordinary. Metapod — You would eat undercooked chicken when you ordered a salad rather than tell the waiter that they got your order wrong. Butterfree — You’re still deeply scarred by that episode of Pokémon where Ash says goodbye to his Butterfree, and that emotional trauma is the only reason why you haven’t picked a better Pokémon to be your favorite. Weedle — Contrary to the saying, you do not know when you’ve been insulted. Kakuna — You remember every single slight that’s ever been leveled against you, real and perceived. Beedrill — You have forgotten about at least one of your tattoos. Pidgey — People wrongly assume that you can’t keep a secret, but you’re actually extremely trustworthy, and it’s a little hurtful, actually, that people think they can’t confide in you. Pidgeotto — You attempted to start going by your middle name when you went off to college, but it didn’t stick. Pidgeot — You don’t participate in the group text thread much, but whenever you do chime in, it’s a knockout. Rattata — You’re a tattletale. Raticate — There’s a pizza box somewhere in your bedroom, right now. Spearow — You push away people who are only trying to help. Fearow — You have stabbed somebody, or at least seriously, seriously considered it. Ekans — Deep in your heart, you know that you’re a Slytherin. Arbok — You proudly self-identify as a Slytherin. Pikachu — Ya basic. Raichu — You think that those rentable scooter start-ups are good, actually. Sandshrew — You have a rich inner life, and you’re secure enough that you don’t feel the need to always be a part of every conversation. Sandslash — Nobody ever really knows what you’re thinking, and it keeps people on edge. Nidoran♀ — You’re deeply upset about what’s happened to Tumblr. Nidorina — You would be onboard a “Hillary 2020” campaign. Nidoqueen — You listen to Lemonade once a day. Nidoran♂ — You probably have some personal biases that you should really address. Nidorino — Inexplicably, you are super, super into soccer, or, as you call it, “football.” Nidoking — In lieu of a personality, you are really into bourbon and craft beer. Clefairy — You would die for Carly Rae Jepsen. Clefable — You can utterly destroy somebody’s sense of self-worth and self-confidence with just the briefest of withering looks. Vulpix — You have dabbled in crystals. Ninetales — You’ve tried running the way they do in Naruto at least once because, well, what if it really is faster that way? Jigglypuff — You want to be the center of attention, yet you cannot handle even the mildest criticism. Wigglytuff — You are deeply invested in the Royal Family. Zubat — You are extremely annoying, and everyone wishes you would stop bothering them!!!! Christ, I’m just trying to walk through this cave in peace!!! Golbat — You nasty. Oddish — You have fallen prey to a multilevel-marketing scheme you learned about on Instagram, and you just don’t know it yet. Gloom — You forgot to put on deodorant, and even though you smell fine (it’s really not a big deal), you are mortified and want to die. Vileplume — You’ve uploaded multiple YouTube videos that begin with “Hey guys, sorry it’s been so long since my last video!” Paras — You’re just trying to get by, man. Parasect — You are Too Online, and it has poisoned your brain. Venonat — Bernie Bro. Venomoth — You’re a Warren G. Diglett — First dates always go well for you, but the person you’re dating will soon discover that you have a lot of stuff going on under the surface. Dugtrio — You’re almost never seen without the company of your best friends in the whole world, and you are terrified about what will happen if anybody moves away. Meowth — You were the class clown in high school, and in retrospect you probably deserved all those suspensions. Persian — You do not have any student loans. Psyduck — You use Tweetdeck to view Twitter, and you’re constantly confused and upset. Golduck — You deleted your Facebook account, but you can keep tabs on your friends with both of your Instagram accounts, so it’s pretty much the same. Mankey — You have punched an authority figure at least once. Primeape — You have punched an authority figure at least once...and won. Growlithe — You don’t love it when people don’t follow rules, but you’re extremely loyal, so you’d never make a big deal of it. Arcanine — You would like to speak to the manager. Poliwag — You go along with the flow out of necessity. Poliwhirl — You are Jason E. Christian, and you live at 23rd East Walnut Lane in Sioux Falls, South Dakota. Yes, Jason, we know where you live, and we know what you’ve done. Don’t try to deny it, and don’t try to hide. Poliwrath — You knew multiple yo-yo tricks when you were a kid, and could probably still walk the dog if somebody gave you a yo-yo, even though you’ve largely put such childish things behind you. Abra — You have made important life decisions based on astrology. Kadabra — You took an online IQ test, and because you were happy with the result, you take it as gospel. Alakazam — You’re a mod for several important subreddits. Machop — You’re excited for the tub of protein powder you ordered from Amazon to get here already. Machoke — Machoke me, daddy. Machamp — Remember Big Dick Energy? You have the opposite of that. Bellsprout — You are in way over your head. Weepinbell — You were recently ghosted. Victreebel — You recently ghosted somebody. Tentacool — You think it’s funny to call sports “sportsball.” Tentacruel — You are lurking behind the scenes, waiting for your moment. Geodude — You’re a 14-year-old Men’s Rights Activist. Graveler — MAGA. Golem — You’re a dad who drinks exclusively Milwaukee's Best. IPAs have too much flavor. Ponyta — You’re a horse girl (or horse guy, but you for sure were an enthusiastic junior equestrian). Rapidash — You have never taken a public bus, and you don’t ever plan to. Slowpoke — The people who make fun of you secretly envy you. Slowbro — You just want to relax and not worry about things, but somebody is always riding your ass. Magnemite — You never miss trivia night at your favorite bar, and you take the competition super seriously. Magneton — You never miss trivia night at your favorite bar, but because your friends carry most of the weight, you view it as a weekly opportunity to get sloshed. Farfetch'd — You host a podcast about bad movies that you started with your buddy. Weekly downloads average in the dozens. Doduo — You are paralyzed by even the most minor decisions. Dodrio — After weighing all the options, you then just say “fuck it” and go with your gut. Results have been mixed. Seel — Just happy to be here. Dewgong — You follow multiple National Geographic and wildlife accounts on Instagram, and those commercials about abused animals make you cry every time. Grimer — You’re trashy as hell, but you own it. Muk — You’re trashy as hell, but not in a cute or kitschy way. Shellder — Ariana Grande would hate you. Cloyster — Everything you do is vaguely sexual. Gastly — You shitpost online. Haunter — You are an online troll. Gengar — You steal people’s jokes and post them on your own viral Instagram account. Onix — You have a lot of opinions about “kids these days.” Drowzee — Your allergy medicine is really slowing down your roll. Hypno — You have serious “creepy uncle” vibes. You are not actually an uncle. Krabby — Honestly, given all the stress you’re under, you’re pretty goddamn calm, all things considered. Kingler — You’re always inviting yourself to have a taste of someone’s meal or split a dessert with them, even though they maybe wanted a whole dessert, Kingler — You can order your own instead of stealing half of mine. Voltorb — You’re keeping your mouth good and shut, and it is the only reason you haven’t been fired. Electrode — Premature ejaculation : ( Exeggcute — Part of you is broken. Exeggutor — The funniest movie you’ve ever seen is Billy Madison, and The Waterboy is a close second. Cubone — You own a Corpse Bride T-shirt you bought at Hot Topic because it’s goth. Marowak — Your emo phase resulted in you getting a face tattoo. Hitmonlee — Your least favorite day of the entire year is January 1, because you can’t deal with all of these poseurs ruining your workout because their New Year’s resolution was to go to the gym. Hitmonchan — Given how much you pay for the membership and for all the fancy workout clothes and equipment, you should really go to the gym more. You look the part, though. Lickitung — You are a generous lover, yet somehow unnervingly so. Koffing — Vape influencer. Weezing — Can smoking weed give you black lung disease? You’re determined to find out. Rhyhorn — You’re very goal-oriented but don’t really do “outside-the-box” thinking. Rhydon — You are always ready to rumble. Chansey — You live a very sheltered life. Tangela — Your online browsing history is an absolute nightmare, and your greatest fear is somebody seeing what kind of weird stuff you’re doing on the web. Kangaskhan — Wine mom. Horsea — You’ve never done anything wrong in your entire life. Seadra — You own multiple leather jackets. Goldeen — You have the Sweetgreen app downloaded to your phone, and you use it pretty much every day. Seaking — Everybody is lying to you, and you had no idea until just now. Staryu — You delete posts when they don’t get enough likes. Starmie — You claim to have famous friends. Mr. Mime — You have a humiliation fetish. Scyther — When everyone was busy partying, you studied the blade. Jynx — You have been canceled due to old tweets. Electabuzz — You still mourn the demise of Four Loko. Magmar — You have unironically worn a fedora and don’t have any friends who are close enough with you that they’ll tell you the truth. Pinsir — You want DC to #ReleaseTheSnyderCut. Tauros — You’re sorry, you thought this was America! Magikarp — You’re just going through a rough patch, it’ll be okay. Probably. Gyarados — You’re overcompensating. Lapras — Your friends love you for being “Team Mom” and making sure everyone gets home when someone has a little too much to drink, but deep down you wish they could just be a little more responsible so that you wouldn’t have to make sure they don’t drown in a pond every single time you go to the bars. Ditto — You’re adaptable but have chronic imposter syndrome. Eevee — You can get away with a lot, and nobody will really get mad at you. This won’t last. Vaporeon — You’re a brunch aficionado. Jolteon — You love a good 5K and taking your company softball team very seriously. Flareon — You would never buy something off the rack. Porygon — You have an idea for an app that’ll really disrupt things. Omanyte — You are sitting on an incredibly hot take that you’re kind of nervous about sharing. Omastar — You have a lot of opinions about how bad Daenerys’s military tactics are on Game of Thrones. Kabuto — You prefer subs, not dubs. Kabutops — Your Super Smash Bros. pick is Fox, and you will only play Final Destination with no items. Aerodactyl — You’ve been single for a long time and it’s a little hard to get back in the dating game, but you’re trying and that’s what matters. Snorlax — Honestly, happier and more content than any other Pokémon on this entire list. God, I envy it. Articuno — It takes you a long time to figure out what outfit you’re going to wear, but once you’ve finally picked something from your closet, you always look good. Zapdos — Your mother really wishes you wouldn’t swear so much. Moltres — Your life is constantly a flaming mess and you’re always teetering on the edge of collapse, but somehow you’ve tricked everyone into thinking that you’re doing great and are always in control. Dratini — Your “I want to be a marine biologist" phase lasted longer than most. Dragonair — You were the editor of your high school newspaper, and you served on student council. Dragonite — You’re not like regular bosses, you’re a cool boss (until somebody fucks up). Mewtwo — You’re overpowered. This is bullshit, you shouldn’t be able to pick Mewtwo as your favorite Pokémon. Stop being a jerk and pick another. This isn’t fair. Mew — You’re baby.

#muses

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animationnut · 7 years

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To Gravity Falls, From Piedmont: Chapter 21

Summary: It’s a long way until next summer. Until then, Dipper and Mabel share their daily antics and life problems with their lifelong friends and attentive great-uncles through an endless string of e-mails. Distance makes the heart grow fonder after all, and there’s no place Dipper and Mabel love more than Gravity Falls.

Chapter List

To: Mabel Pines (ShootingStarRainbowUnicorn); Dipper Pines (GhostHarasserfan); Stanford Pines (Highsixer); Stanley Pines (StantheMan); Soos Ramirez (QuestionMarkDude)

From: Wendy Corduroy (Lumberchick)

Subject: Greatest snowman to ever exist

1 Attachment (Photo File)

This wicked snowstorm means no school, and no school means complete freedom. My brothers and I worked together to build this snowman, which is totally the best snowman ever created and you can't tell me otherwise.

See all messages in this thread (Expand)

Mabel Pines: Oh my gosh! It's amazing! How much tape did you need to use to get it to hold up the axe?

Wendy Corduroy: About two rolls. But it's okay. They look like bandages covering a really nasty wound.

Dipper Pines: Whose ushanka did you steal to give it a hat?

Wendy Corduroy: My brothers had to draw straws. Glen lost.

Stanley Pines: You don't know how much I wish I was in Gravity Falls right now. Soos, take a baseball bat to it!

Soos Ramirez: No way, Mr. Pines. Snowmen have a right to exist too.

Wendy Corduroy: Don't be jealous just because you know you could never craft a good a snowman as mine.

Stanford Pines: I suppose you know what you're about to start with a comment like that.

Stanley Pines: It's on, Missy. I'll make a snowman that'll kick yours to the curb and steal its wallet.

Stanford Pines: I'll admit you've always been creative, but your crafting skills have never been up to par.

Soos Ramirez: Mr. Pines made all the exhibits at the gift shop. He's the best crafter there is.

Stanley Pines: You tell him, Soos. Poindexter may be able to invent weird gadgets, but he knows nothing about artsmanship.

Stanford Pines: First of all, that's not a word. Second of all, you don't need to be a genius (which I am) to beat you in a snowman building contest.

Wendy Corduroy: Ah yeah! Here comes the smack-down! My entry is already done. Feel free tearing each other apart for my entertainment. I've clearly won.

Soos Ramirez: Your lumberjack snowman is pretty rad, but I've been building snowmen for years. Abuelita said I was the best at it. Dunno if you can beat that.

Stanley Pines: All right Ford, looks like we're making a detour to a wintry place. I've got some hopeful souls to crush. Especially yours.

Mabel Pines: Woo-hoo! Let the games begin!

School bag slung over one shoulder, Dipper entered the kitchen to retrieve a can of soda from the fridge. He popped the tab with one hand while he used the other to dig his phone out of his pocket. He read through Wendy's email to see the comments made after his, eyebrow raising.

"Mabel, encouraging them makes it worse!"

His sister appeared in the entryway, Waddles skittering behind her on the hardwood floor. "They would have turned it into a competition anyway. I'm just showing my support."

Dipper sat down at the kitchen table and dropped his bag to rest by his sock-clad feet. He studied the picture Wendy had attached to her e-mail again, grinning at the ice and snow creation that loomed a head taller than the redheaded female. There was a dark brown ushanka pulled over the top, smallest snowball, a pair of acorns for eyes, a broken handle of a pick for a nose and the metal handle (from what Dipper assumed to be the same pick) for the mouth. There was a red plaid wool jacket shrugged over the middle snowball and through the arms of the jacket were two thick pieces of chopped wood. At the ends of the wood were frayed white work gloves. Attached to the right glove was an axe, held in place by black tape.

"Isn't it cool?" sighed Mabel wistfully, peering over her brother's shoulder. "I like California, but the problem is that we don't get snow days. While we were doing math Wendy was making a snowman."

"How cruel life can be," quipped Dipper.

Mabel poked the back of his neck. "Come on. As much as you love school you'd love a snow day."

"I would," Dipper failed to deny. "But that's not going to happen. We'll just have admire the snowmen from afar and be with them in spirit."

Propping her chin against the top of Dipper's head, Mabel wondered, "What do you think Grunkle Ford will build?"

"Probably something to do with his research. If he doesn't do a life-size sculpture of the abominable snowman I am going to be rather disappointed."

"Grunkle Stan?"

The two fell into a thoughtful silence for a moment. After a while, Dipper replied, "I honestly couldn't begin to imagine. But I doubt it'll be appropriate."

To: Wendy Corduroy (Lumberchick); Dipper Pines (GhostHarasserfan); Mabel Pines (ShootingStarRainbowUnicorn); Stanley Pines (StantheMan); Stanford Pines (Highsixer)

From: Soos Ramirez (QuestionMarkDude)

Subject: Behold the beauty

1 Attachment (Photo File)

Yo, dudes.

No offense, Wendy, your snowman was super cool, but mine's super cooler. It sparkles and it has some oomph to it. I just wanna thank my inspiration for motivating my creativity. Couldn't have done it without you.

Soos out!

Lying on her back in the soft grass, Mabel splayed out, absorbing the sun's rays. Waddle laid across her stomach, nibbling at the hem of her light blue fleece sweater. Dipper was beside her, reclining against a looming oak tree, nose buried in a book. They were both distracted from their peaceful relaxing as their phones beeped in unison, alerting them to a notification.

Mabel grunted as she sat up, careful not to dislodge Waddles completely. She moved her sunglasses to rest on top of her head so she could get a better look at the screen. Her eyes lit up when she realized Soos had completed his entry in the impromptu snowman contest and eagerly clicked the attachment.

Positioned in front of the icicle-covered Mystery Shack was a life-size sculpture of Melody. The hair was made of strands of hay, packed closely together so that it seemed like it had density to it. A pair of sapphire-coloured plastic gems were used for eyes. A purple jacket hung on its arms and torso and somehow Soos had managed to attach a pair of jeans.

"Wow," said Dipper, eyes wide. "Abuelita was right. Soos is pretty dang good at building snowmen."

"You can't call this a snowman," protested Mabel. "It's a snow sculpture! It's gorgeous!"

"This is definitely going to be hard to beat," said Dipper with a grin.

Wendy Corduroy: Well dang.

Stanford Pines: That has more than just oomph, Soos. Melody must be very proud of this.

Soos Ramirez: Thanks, Mr. Pines! She loved it. But she wishes I would've asked before borrowing her clothes.

Mabel Pines: How did you get the jeans on?

Soos Ramirez: I built the legs first and then had to cut the jeans to fit them on properly. Figured it out after three tries.

Dipper Pines: Uh…does Melody know you ruined her jeans?

Soos Ramirez: Do you think she'll notice?

Stanley Pines: Eh. It's not bad.

Mabel Pines: Are you crazy? It's fantastic!

Wendy Corduroy: Like you can do any better, Mr. Pines.

Stanley Pines: Don't take your bitterness out on me because you so clearly lost. Of course I can do better. Who do you think taught Soos everything he knows?

Stanford Pines: Which probably wasn't very much to begin with.

Stanley Pines: Sure, make fun. I'll be the one laughing when I cream the lot of you.

Dipper Pines: He's got a plan. Those never turn out well.

Mabel Pines: But they're always entertaining!

Soos Ramirez: Good luck Mr. Pines! And Mr. Pines!

Wendy Corduroy: Yeah. This is going to end in disaster—and hilarity.

The voice of her teacher droning in her ears, Mabel's pen scrawled against her paper as she took notes. The shooting star charm of her bracelet clattered softly against the surface of her desk as she moved her wrist back and forth. Heaving a quiet sigh, she shifted her gaze to the clock hanging above the door. There was still an hour before school let out and her brain had already decided to quit for the day.

Mabel paused halfway through her writing of science notes when she felt her cellphone vibrate in her pocket. She peeked over at the teacher, who was facing the chalkboard as he lectured. She positioned her textbook so that it was blocking most of her desk from his sight. She slipped out her cell and held it behind her makeshift barricade, tapping on the e-mail icon.

She grinned widely when she discovered the sender of the e-mail and looked over at her brother, who sat diagonally from her. Dipper gave her a side glance of disapproval, which evaporated when she mouthed 'Grunkle Stan'. His curiosity too great, he did the rare act of taking out his cell in class, tucking his textbook into his lap and keeping the device cloaked behind it.

Stan had sent the e-mail a couple of class periods ago, meaning that they must have missed the initial notification and succeeding ones as their friends commented. The latest remark on Stan's snowman entry finally caught their attention and Mabel could not stop the burst of surprised laughter from escaping.

Turning around, her teacher said sharply, "Do you have something funny to share with the rest of the class, Miss Pines?"

Mabel shook her head, cheeks red not from embarrassment but suppressed mirth. "No sir," she managed to choke out. "Sorry. Just thinking to myself."

Eyes narrowing slightly, he returned to the lesson as their peers gave her odd, sneering looks before going back to their own work, whether it be meticulous notetaking or lazy doodling. Dipper's shoulders were shaking from laughter, his head ducked down as he pretended to focus on the text in their science book. Mabel bit down on her bottom lip and glanced at her phone, staring at the snowman Stan had constructed.

It was a replica of himself made out of snow, wearing his wool beanie, what looked to be grey cloth from a mop making up his hair. Apart from that, the only other article of clothing this Stan snowman was wearing was a speedo. The snowman itself was positioned in the pose of the Thinker. Stan left few details out of his wintry work of art.

Mabel rested her head on the surface of her desk, silent tears of laughter trailing down her cheeks.

To: Mabel Pines (ShootingStarRainbowUnicorn); Soos Ramirez (QuestionMarkDude); Dipper Pines (GhostHarasserfan); Wendy Corduroy (Lumberchick); Stanford Pines (Highsixer)

From: Stanley Pines (StantheMan)

Subject: Now THIS is beauty

1 Attachment (Photo File)

Soos making a snow sculpture of Melody is sweet and all, sure. And let's not even get to Wendy's mundane attempt. I present to you the greatest snowman (and snow sculpture) ever created. Bask in his glory.

See all messages in this thread (Expand)

Wendy Corduroy: Oh. My. Gosh.

Soos Ramirez: Wow. It's a great likeness!

Wendy Corduroy: No. Do not support him with this one. He's a lunatic.

Stanford Pines: I promise you I had no idea what he was up to. If I had the slightest inkling, I would have knocked him out.

Stanley Pines: What's wrong with him?

Stanford Pines: IT, Stanley. A snowman is an 'it'.

Stanley Pines: Then why do they call them snowmen?

Wendy Corduroy: We're not getting off-topic this time. Why, for the love of everything, did you build a snowman of yourself without a shirt, pants, and too-small underwear?

Stanley Pines: It's artistic! Like those life painting classes or whatever. Besides, there's no greater beauty than myself.

Soos Ramirez: It's really detailed.

Wendy Corduroy: Way too detailed. And I've seen this guy in his boxers multiple times. I've seen Soos in his underwear for crying out loud. But this is way more traumatizing.

Stanley Pines: Keep on talking. I've spent my life dealing with jealousy. It just rolls of my shoulders now.

Wendy Corduroy: You are so full of it.

Stanford Pines: Right. I'm off to destroy it.

Stanley Pines: DON'T YOU DARE.

Dipper Pines: I can't believe we're related.

Mabel Pines: No offense, Grunkle Stan, but the only bathing suit I ever wanted to see you in was your old man one-piece.

Soos Ramirez: I didn't know he owned a speedo.

Wendy Corduroy: Now we all know, unfortunately.

Dipper Pines: I thought I was traumatized before. I was wrong. My consolation is that at least it's just a snow-version of him.

Soos Ramirez: It's a good ice model, though.

Wendy Corduroy: If you can look past all of…that, then I guess that it's okay. Explains where Mabel gets her artistic skills, in any case. But seriously, when did this snowman contest become an intricately-carved snow/ice sculpture contest?

Dipper Pines: Well, Soos took it up to the next level, and I think Grunkle Stan would have done this regardless. Wished you hadn't started this whole thing now?

Wendy Corduroy: Nah. I still think my snowman is the best. It's a twist on a classic.

Soos Ramirez: I think mine is the best. But that's just me, dude.

Mabel Pines: Yours is really good. But Grunkle Stan added moles to his snowman.

Wendy Corduroy: What? Like the mole he has on—?

Wendy Corduroy: OH MY GOSH HE DID HE MANAGED TO INCLUDE THE MOLE!

Dipper Pines: Mabel stop laughing! You're going to get us in trouble!

Dipper Pines: Too late.

Mabel Pines: Delete all evidence! Teacher incoming!

To: Dipper Pines (GhostHarasserfan); Mabel Pines (ShootingStarRainbowUnicorn); Stanley Pines (StantheMan); Wendy Corduroy (Lumberchick); Soos Ramirez (QuestionMarkDude)

From: Stanford Pines (Highsixer)

Subject: The original snowman

1 Attachment (Photo File)

Wendy's snowman was certainly a childhood classic, and Soos' was a touching tribute to his girlfriend, I have crafted the original snowman. It is a replica of the creature that roams mountains, causing mysterious disappearances of hikers and skiers. Its existence dates long before the discovery of the recreational activity of building figures out of snow.

See all messages in this thread (Expand)

Stanley Pines: You didn't mention my snowman.

Stanford Pines: Obviously.

Stanley Pines: Hmph. At least I know how to have fun without turning everything into some boring lesson. Seriously, the abominable snowman?

Dipper Pines: Called it. Very good choice, by the way.

Mabel Pines: You made it really tall!

Stanford Pines: Yes, I tried to make it as life-like as possible. It was difficult using a ladder in this icy climate.

Stanley Pines: He fell off of it at least three times. You should see the black eye he got.

Wendy Corduroy: Wow. Is that actual hair you used?

Stanford Pines: You'd be surprised by how much llama hair is shed.

Wendy Corduroy: I'd ask where you are but it would probably be best if I didn't know.

Soos Ramirez: Dude. That's pretty scary.

Dipper Pines: It is pretty realistic. Have you ever seen the abominable snowman, Grunkle Ford?

Stanford Pines: Not yet, but I hope to encounter it soon. However, I've done quite a bit of research and come to the conclusion that this is an accurate representation.

Mabel Pines: You guys are really great when it comes to snowman.

Wendy Corduroy: I could argue with that, but I won't. So which one of us wins?

Stanley Pines: Isn't it obvious?

Mabel Pines: How about we take a vote?

Dipper Pines: Where you have to vote for someone else. You can't vote for yourself.

Wendy Corduroy: I guess that works.

Soos Ramirez: I'm in. But do I have to vote now? This is kinda a tough decision.

Stanford Pines: We can cast our votes tomorrow morning at ten o'clock.

Wendy Corduroy: Our time zone or yours? Wherever you are.

Stanford Pines: Yours.

Stanley Pines: Deal.

Dipper Pines: Then we'll find out the winner tomorrow.

Mabel Pines: May the best snow creation win!

Dipper shook his head in amusement as he set his phone on the coffee table situated in front of the couch. "I have a feeling it might be between Soos and Grunkle Ford. Those two took it up a notch."

"I love Grunkle Stan, but I don't think anyone is going to be able to get rid of that mental image," said Mabel with a giggle.

She studied the picture of Ford's snowman, a towering mass of snow carved in the shape of the yeti. Llama hair covered every inch of the creature, black coals acting as eyes, peering ominously from a curtain of white hair. Icicles hung from the armpits and arms, the hands and feet massive in order to be in proportion to the body.

"It's not fair," she lamented, getting to her knees so she could look over the edge of the couch through the living room window. "They can play in the snow and we just got a rainstorm last night."

"It's a mud wonderland," agreed Dipper. Their entire front yard was damp and soft, the grass nearly swallowed by the thick brown mud. "Too bad there's no such thing as a mudman."

There was a pause as the twins were struck by the same idea. With a beaming smile, Mabel jumped to the floor and declared, "Let's go, brother of mine!"

"We'll make the greatest mudmen in history!" cheered Dipper.

They spared a moment to shrug on their boots and rain slickers before charging out into the misty afternoon. It took a half hour to decide what they should craft and they soon got to work. They gathered piles of mud with shovels and packed it together with their bare hands. For two hours they sloshed about in the mud, hair sticking to their foreheads and boots caking with dirt and grass.

"There!" exclaimed Mabel, wiping droplets of water from her skin and leaving a streak of mud. "It's brilliant!"

Dipper removed his phone from his pants pocket and snapped a picture of the scene. There were seven mud figures rising from the ground, and though they weren't perfect they were identifiable. There was Wendy with her ushanka, which Dipper had removed from his head temporarily, Ford with a long beige jacket, which Mabel had dug from their father's closet, Stan with his tuxedo jacket, tie and eyepatch that Dipper found from their old Halloween costumes, Soos with his green T-shirt and a question mark drawn on it, Waddles in the middle, and on either side of the mud-pig were sculptures of Dipper and Mabel. Dipper had found one of his old hats and vests to use on his mud counterpart, and Mabel had managed to affix a knit jacket and sparkly headband to hers.

"Who says we need snow to have fun?" laughed Dipper. He then looked around the yard, which now bore holes and dips from their effort to gather as much mud as possible. "Uh…as great as this is, we better put the mud back before Mom and Dad come home to find the yard torn up."

To: Mabel Pines (ShootingStarRainbowUnicorn); Grunkle Stan (StantheMan); Grunkle Ford (Highsixer); Soos Ramirez (QuestionMarkDude); Wendy Corduroy (Lumberchick)

From: Dipper Pines (GhostHarasserfan)

Subject: Mud Shack crew

1 Attachment (Photo File)

It's almost time to vote! But before the inevitable fight begins about who deserves to win, Mabel and I make our unofficial contribution with our mudmen. I present the Mud Shack crew, complete with a mud version of Waddles. We may not have snow, but we learn to work with what we have.

See all messages in this thread (Expand)

Soos Ramirez: Mud looks pretty good on me.

Wendy Corduroy: Dudes. That's pretty sweet. But yo, you're gonna wash my hat, right?

Dipper Pines: Maybe.

Grunkle Ford: I don't think I've seen soil used in such a way before.

Grunkle Stan: Talk about making the most of your environment.

Mabel Pines: I'm going to have mud in my ears for weeks, but it was worth it!

Grunkle Ford: How exactly did you manage to get mud in your ears?

Mabel Pines: I slipped and fell. A few dozen times.

Dipper Pines: We are hopelessly snowless, so we found our own way to contribute to the contest—just for fun, anyway. Are you guys ready to vote?

Wendy Corduroy: Yup.

Soos Ramirez: Totally.

Grunkle Stan: Let's start it, then.

Grunkle Ford: Why don't you kids start?

Dipper Pines: Sure. I vote for Wendy. Her snowman may not be extravagant, but it's a classic snowman, which I think was sort of the point before Soos took it to the next level.

Mabel Pines: And that's why I'm voting for Soos! His snow sculpture of Melody was really sweet and pretty, and I like that he took a different route.

Wendy Corduroy: I vote for Dipper and Mabel, because I look pretty rad as a mud sculpture.

Dipper Pines: Wait, what?

Soos Ramirez: I vote for the little dudes. It was hard making a snow sculpture, so it must have been twice as hard to make what they did.

Mabel Pines: But this is a snowman contest. We didn't make ours out of snow.

Grunkle Stan: Who listens to the rules? Not me. You get my vote, kiddos. I think I look even better made out of mud.

Grunkle Ford: It's settled, then. Including my vote, that makes you the clear winners. Substituting mud for snow is allowed, since there is a lack of snow available to you and you used alternative resources.

Grunkle Stan: But next time we have a contest you can't participate so that I get a shot at participating.

Soos Ramirez: Next year we could have a snow fort building contest!

Wendy Corduroy: I don't think so. I thought I was competitive but ya'll take it to the extreme.

Grunkle Ford: Runs in the family.

Grunkle Stan: I'll annihilate you next time.

Mabel Pines: Sweet! We won, bro! We're champions of mudmen!

Dipper Pines: Not bad for the tender age of thirteen.

#gravity falls #gravity falls fanfiction #byanimationnut #to gravity falls from piedmont #dipper pines #mabel pines #Stanford pines #Grunkle ford #Stanley pines #Grunkle stan #wendy corduroy #soos ramirez

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ethelbertpaul444-blog · 6 years

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Leo Dottavio Had A Complete Meltdown On Twitter Betches

Happy Thursday! I’ve woken up in a world where recent Bachelor in Paradise reject, Leo Dottavio, had a very public meltdown on Twitter last night. You know, the guy who gaslighted the sh*t out of Kendall, threw a drink in Joe’s face, and otherwise trashed whatever goodwill he’d earned on The Bachelorette. Over the past 24 hours, Leo has tweeted what some perceive to be attacks on former friends, threats of violence, and messed-up views on masculinity. While we expect this kind of behavior from our government, it’s much more unsettling when it comes from a Bachelor in Paradise contestant. Let’s take a look at how this spiraled out.

Apparently, things kicked off with this tweet from previous contestant Amanda Stanton.

Just got a lovely DM from Leo calling me a “piece of shit” & that my tweet about him last night is going to “come back to haunt me”…so i guess he can never blame “editing” #BachelorinParadise

— Amanda Stanton (@amandastantonnn) August 29, 2018

Oh, and in case you were wondering the HEINOUS tweet that sparked his outrage:

Catching up on #BachelorInParadise from last week. Thoughts: 1. I’m glad Jacqueline went home. She was too good for this show. 2. I love seeing @JubileeSharpe1 face on my TV! 3. Leo scares me.

— Amanda Stanton (@amandastantonnn) August 28, 2018

There was also, reportedly, a comment about Leo’s place of employment. The Daily Mail reported that Amanda said, “Slightly off topic but Leo did get fired from WaterWorld, right? Need to make sure before I take the kids…”

Apparently Leo has some sort of Jonathan Cheban-level radar for his name (as one commenter pointed out, she didn’t even tag him).

Original tweets have been deleted from this point on, but luckily US Weekly has done some detailed reporting, and Instagram account @thebachelorbanter is here with the receipts. Leo reportedly fires back with the following:

Hide yo kids, hide yo wife! . . . #thebachelorbanter #batchybantz #bachelorinparadise #bip #thebachelorette #thebachelor #thebacheloretteabc #thebachelorabc #bacheloretteabc #bachelorabc #bachelornation #thepsychopathtest #bachelor #bachelorette

A post shared by The Bachelor Banter (@thebachelorbanter) on Aug 29, 2018 at 9:07pm PDT

If you’re unclear what this is about, please see Bekah and Leo’s interactions from earlier this month. Basically, Bekah got some DMs from women alleging Leo had sexually harassed them. He denied everything and had his lawyer send Bekah a letter demanding she retract her statements and issue an apology. He insisted, as he still does, that the harassment claims are false.

At this point, Tanner (another former contestant), suggests that Leo needs help. Leo responds with a joke about being a narcissist, then tells him he wants to fight him. Again, I’d recommend reading this in full, but he really gets into the masculinity politics with the ending: “When I knock you out can I stand over you and call you a beta?” I can only hope this is a joke and real men don’t call each other “betas” and “alphas”, except I read enough Reddit to know that there are absolutely people out there who use those terms in earnest. I just can’t be sure if Leo is one of those people.

With that tweet, Leo sets off Nick Viall’s spidey senses for when a sensitive male Bachelor contestant is needed. Either that, or he felt an interaction involving the Bachelor franchise had just gone on too long without him. He chimes in with the following tweet:

Breaking news: Self proclaimed Alpha suggests Charity boxing match with someone they have a clear physical advantage over as means to inflate their own ego all while further demonstrating their deep insecurities. https://t.co/EyyR0qC6xZ

— Nick Viall (@viallnicholas28) August 29, 2018

Look, Nick Viall’s never been my favorite person. But someone if someone is going to call out toxic masculinity, the guy who cried in every episode of The Bachelor seems like a good candidate. Again, Leo deleted his responses, but US Weekly reports the following response: “Hey nick how about you and tanner at the same time vs me?… For allllll the marbles let’s goooooo.” Nick’s response to this is still up—as are the comments.

Wait … you can beat us both up at the same time? … that’s like sooo cool https://t.co/TNcyTnUBnS

— Nick Viall (@viallnicholas28) August 29, 2018

Now, maybe there’s some fun new youth lingo I’m missing out on, but I truly had no idea where Leo was going with the “marbles” comment. So I have to say that Dean’s responses are my absolute favorite here. NO, NOT JUST BECAUSE HE’S SO PRETTY. (Hi Dean!) Look how funny this is:

Are marbles still a thing? Why would anyone want ALL the marbles. Honestly, that seems like a burden.

— Dean Michael Unglert (@deanie_babies) August 29, 2018

A BURDEN. Dean. I’m laughing, I’m crying, I’m gazing into your blue, blue eyes…ugh. This brief moment of lightness is interrupted by Leo’s now-deleted tweets back at Nick, reportedly saying the following:

“Jesus your forefathers would frown at your weakness my friend…This kind of adherence to physical altercation is what makes high school kids turn to guns. Be a good example and stand up to a cyber bully like I am… in person.”

I don’t think Leo knows what “adherence” means or how to use it. But I think he meant to say that refusing to engage in physical violence is the reason why kids shoot up schools…? It’s not the guns that are the problem; it’s the fact that boys are no longer beating the sh*t out of each other on a regular basis. Someone call Betsy DeVos and get mandatory fight clubs in school across the nation.

Finally, I happily don’t have to deal with his “forefathers” comment, because Nick Viall did it for me:

Apologies for the delayed response. I went to a WaterWorld to look for you but you weren’t there.

To be honest, my forefathers might have frowned at my support of feminism and gender/race/sexual orientation equality too …so like, it’s fine https://t.co/iAPuaRg8CP

— Nick Viall (@viallnicholas28) August 29, 2018

For those of you who have lives outside of this, the WaterWorld dig is a reference to the fact that Leo reportedly works or worked there. And look, I hate to give Nick Viall the “feminist hero” title he’s so blatantly vying for, but if the gender-neutral cape fits…

Even Deanie Babies, who in all other instances wins me over, was a little off the mark with his response. He commented “I would have forgotten we’re living in the 1920’s without it,” which misses the point that sadly, this kind of garbage is as prevalent in 2018 as it ever was.

Leo ended the feud with a very confusing comment that amounts to “real men don’t shoot up schools”. No, I’m not sure how he got there, either, or if he watches the news. What I’m also not sure of? How many brain cells I lost in following this feud.

Mostly, my feelings from all this are outrage toward ABC. ABC, you need to screen your contestants better before you give them a national audience. First of all, for the safety of ALL contestants, and second of all, to give our eyes a break from this guy who is, at best, woefully inept at successfully pulling off sarcasm. 2017 me is shocked to hear me say this, but praise be for Nick Viall and Deanie Babies—the true heroes of last night’s saga.

Images: Twitter; Instagram; Twitter