"I'm no better than a man" moment
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Absolutely insane to die and then ask “do you have any notes”
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“I’ve accidentally eaten a post it note before” HUH????
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butch transfem/fem transmasc con artist duo that get into hijinks and fall in love with each other
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Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".
Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"
And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".
Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.
At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.
So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!
Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!
Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!
Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.
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“You were a friend when we needed it, and we won’t forget that. Should you ever need it, you have family in Baldur’s Gate.” - Zevlor
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“You know what I like about you Brennan?”
“What’s that?”
“We’re always battling the church, and that means a lot to me.”
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I don't think I can say this with enough emphasis--if you are not Jewish, you don't get to decide what is and is not antisemitic.
There's no ambiguity here. Zero. I am sick and tired of being lectured at by goyim about how, 'oh, ackhtually, your explanation of how my words are antisemitic is off! You're trying to stop the discussion by being inflammatory!'
Or to be told that I am cheapening the term antisemitism, and that people used to react to it before October 7th, but now they're numb to it, which is just what happens you start using serious accusations for political means!
It's... genuinely astonishing to me. I'm consistently amazed by the arrogance, audacity, and disrespect it takes for you guys to lecture Jews on what antisemitism is.
Have any of you goyim experienced antisemitism firsthand? Is it your people who's experienced antisemitism for 3000 years? Is it you who has family members rescued by Schindler? Was it your ancestors who fled from constant, unending pogroms in with nothing but the clothes on their backs? Have you ever had someone tell lies to your friend about you sexually harassing people because you're a Jew? Have you ever had to sit and think whether you should mark down that you're Jewish on a job application? Have you ever felt unsafe and compelled to take off your Star of David because you've been afraid you'd be attacked? Have you ever had to worry about a professor who constantly brings up the war in class marking your assignment down because it talks about Israel being a democracy? Have you ever had the feeling of acid being splashed on your soul when you see antisemitic comments? The ice water rushing down your spine when someone is antisemitic to your face, and you feel the weight of 3 millennia of oppression bearing down on you?
No? Not you?
Then sit your ass down, and frankly, shut the fuck up.
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an old i have no mouth piece i made for no reason
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marina toybina really waltzed into the my chemical romance world and proposed working on the tour herself and then got the job, proceeded to pull that cheerleader dress out in the matter of a few weeks, absolutely knocked it out of the park for the entire tour, got gerard on the new york times best dressed people of 2022, made a chainmail gown and generally was behind one of the most lifechanging events for mcr fans and trans people, is the first known public figure to use they/them for gerard way in writing, then did a podcast saying that the universe was behind all this and it was fate and destiny, and used both he/him and they/them for gerard out loud for ten whole minutes, then designed the most cunty secretary look ever and waited until several days after tour to tell us it was her. motherfucker i love her so much. welcome to the family marina
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Casual!Alex Claremont-Diaz, ladies and gentlemen 🤲✨
(I like to think he also wears the t-shirt version under a blazer at every event he goes where JKR is also invited 😌💅✨)
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One of my favorite and most interesting thing about Jon is that he sorts peoples actions into Human and Monster
To him, the actions of monsters cannot be forgiven, as seen with Daisy, Helen and Jared
But along with that, the actions of humans always have an excuse, like Basira and his grandmother
The most prime example of this is with Jurgen where, prior to his meeting with him, he wrote Jurgen off as evil and when he did meet with him he dubbed Jurgen as just a spoiled confused child
And what makes this more interesting is how he perceives himself as a monster. He sees himself as unforgivable and monstrous, even when hes just doing what he needs to survive
He forgives people who hurt him, like his grandmother who neglected and obviously resented him and Basira, who threatened to kill him if he so much as stepped out of line, because they are human. They are people against a monster
The only time he doesnt blame himself for something is when he can blame another monster, like in mag 146, Threshold, where he blames the Web, another, different monster
And what makes his mentality so much more devastating is that many avatars, the monsters in his mind, are shown to not often be in complete control, whereas humans do have entire control
Avatars have to spread fear and hurt or they themself will die. In more explicit cases of lack of control Jon himself has stated he often doesnt realize what hes done until after its happened and Daisy becomes completely mindless by the end of the series to the point of only recognizing two things, a hunt and Basira (daisy also sorts people into monster and human, but thats because of hunt reasons)
Humans dont have these restrictions, humans are entirely free to do what they please, with the only con being they are significantly weaker than avatars
When Basira threatens him, she is doing it entirely through her own choice, whereas when Jon hunts statement givers he is doing it partly because hes forced into that position. But he will still forgive and rationalize Basiras actions while condemning and scrutinize his own, because she is the human and he is the monster
Anyways I like Jon he needs therapy
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I saw this screenshot and had an idea
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Everything Brennan does is cute but the moments when the PCs make him eat his dice and he does a sassy retort but it’s fully coated in “I love all these people and I’m glad they’re happy and I don’t actually mind”? That’s the good shit right there!!
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If you need help practicing pronouns, try using the pronouns you struggle with on your pets!
Animals have very little understanding of pronouns and human gender. They won't care if you use he, it, she, xie, bun, literally whatever - they only care about you and their food. They'll be fine! However, your loved ones will appreciate your effort in using pronouns, and using them properly. It's a win-win situation!
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