#alnst oc: pale

[suchimpossiblebliss]

karma destroyed me

@contradictoryair for pale

[doubtscomein]

A New Round is Loading In ..

( THEO ; @suchimpossiblebliss | PALE ; @contradictoryair )

[sotogalmo]

8:22, yesterday — 12:12

Make this party yours (From the day), And no, (I took out) don’t look back now. / Now you’re tainted (the black fruit), God won’t have you anymore (I swallowed sweetly)

(I'll only tag for info sake. After this I'll stop being annoying; @solei-eclipse , @junebluues , @ivanttakethis , @apriciticreveries , @rosedeleca , @4listr , @friedclownshrimp , @rockwgooglyeyes , @bluemoonscape , @teapotuser , @skyisjusthere , @starry-skiez , @pwippy , @aakaneeee , @yunoftheclouds , @alien-til-i-stage , @nottoonedin , @tsukacchako , @astoryofsuchwoe , @zerostyrant + possibly others I forgotten)

Name: Pale— moreso surname meaning, but having pale in someone's name just means 'pale of skin, pallid'. But from the late 14c. as "fence of pointed stakes." Paler as a surname meaning "fence-builder" is recorded from late 12c. Another Middle English form of the word in the "fence, paling, wall of an enclosure" sense, based on the plural, was pales, palis (late 14c.), and the surname Paliser is attested from early 14c. I suppose the "fence builder" one makes the most sense with how Pale is

Animal: Lion

Solar: Saturn

Flower: Begonia Saturn, Coriander

Tarot: Strength (and a little bit of Devil)

Sin: Lust

Organ: Hands.

Birth date: 1201 (December 1th)

Age: 33

ID: 010401

Body: 170.18 cm (5'7ft) / 76kg

Affiliation: Class of Season 32

Likes: painting, quiet rooms, grass, nature

Dislikes: loud things, being owned, disobedience

Personality: Pale, acting with grace and sophistication along with acting wittily and provocatively and also being stoic, calm, and observant, is a well-bred pet human and was raised by human scientists, so he conducts himself as someone befitting of his status. But he isn't all just a pretty face and such. He's selfish, conniving, and manipulative. Most importantly, very destructive. As he has little empathy with others and manipulated people as he saw fit, similarly willing to dispose of anyone who got in his way or whom he deemed worthy of his revenge. Raised by the human scientists got him quite power hungry since he's been raised in power and humans who are high on such power that they achieved (being respected by aliens is something you have to achieve, it's no easy and simple task, and yet they have done it so can you blame them?). But with power, comes feelings of hollowness. Troubles, and that leads to more power hunger. Having felt this from childhood, all he ever really truly felt, his clearest emotions were that of loneliness and anger at the world; being alienated in the sense that he's human raised. Giving way to the fact that he's a troubled man, wanting to connect with the lesser beings in his class. But no one knows that because he hides it well with many ways to cope with it, but mainly with a cold exterior... maybe. Having him being an enigmatic individual to them, and characterized by his curiosity, affability, and disregard for consequences. But all in all, Pale is a straightforward "do no good" man; since he disregards rules and consequences. But he is also a hypocrite (hypocrite, if he's attached he's attached.).

Special talent: Painting

Voice: Britain from Hetalia when speaking / Nao Hex SYNTHV for singing (which sometimes happens, but he doesn't sing on the stage).

Signature:

The P is a bow and arrow, the L forms a canvas. The e is in canvas

History/Lore (as of right now)

Pale is apart of "toxic ysosu" with amia's Vic and syd's Theo. Most? of his childhood has been explored by Syd while writing about Theo and Theo's life in the garden and before he sang. Pale was the quiet older one between them, if I remember the ages right (well ofc between him and theo), quite similar to Luka in that regard.

He went to ANAKT later, because of some complications that happened and it made him stay behind for a while.

For when he is in ANAKT, I don't think he had a collar on, because of how obedient he was (even if his obedience is just because it was needed and required). His uniform is the same as Ivan's, for that reason. A simple turtleneck, long sleeves and long pants.

Pales relationship to the teachers and aliens as a whole is nothing special, only summed up as "a pleasure to have in class". Even if he did.. slightly cause mischief. Just to see what the other kids would do. That's for the teachers. With the aliens as a whole, he's more "respected" than the others he's been around. But that's expected because of who he was raised by.

He finds all of the kids in his class dumb, yes even Theo and Vic. While he is "romantically" involved with them, he finds their humanity to be an obstacle.

He's softer on Theo, because that Innocence of belief is something he never experienced. He's softer on Vic, because of how determined he was to be set free (even if that did annoyed him).

Pales body state, is top notch. Perfect build for what he deals with in the future— he trains his arms and upper body often in the garden with the "fishes", that get progressively harder to carry.

Overall threat level: low to medium

His guardian?

Why of course it's one of the respected humans.

This human is called Abel, he has a twin called Cain. And an older or maybe younger brother called Seth.

His style of clothing is shared with the alien scientists, that made Yume (minus the "neckfur" he has around his neck. It's a baby alien slug that was the reason for how he got the respect he did).

Abel... All three of them are enigmatic individuals characterized by their curiosity, affability, and disregard for consequences. And the fact that they have made scientific break throughs, a lot. Their later methods having helped with the experiments that Yume Nagai has went thru. They even suggested that he would have a last name.

Last names are something that they have an interest in. Learning about pre-alien human history; last names have always intrigued Abel the most. All of the names actually. He's interested in what purpose they have in life. And he (Abel) suggested that Yume could have a last name. Cain was the one that came up with the word.

Abel views Pale as a "son", as those seem to be the only words that fit their relation, and such. It's more reinforced with the way that his own ways have bleed into what Pale does.

But lale doesn't view him as a "father" though, because of his absence and his own general anger to the world, and with the way that he was raised.. having stayed confined in its walls, forbidden to leave except when sent to help some of the "newborns" or seeing other kids to make sure that they were alright. He was continuously told that he needed to study more and work harder if he wanted to please the Aliens.

Yes, he was working more and hard to please the Aliens. He might be raised by humans respected by aliens, but it's only a few that do respect them. So that had him grew up well educated but severely emotionally deprived. So he doesn't use the term 'owner' as that just doesn't sit right with him, so he uses the term "guardian" to call him as such.

Cain and Abel are in their early 50s. Seth is in late 40s? or late 50s.

Pale and Eeta have known each other since they were kids.

Pale and Eeta had Innamorati in their early teens. Hänsel and Gretel were later down the line, in late teens but they "never made it".

Pale got into AREPH when he was 26

Pale had Kotus in his mid 20s with Molly (a fling). Kotus was around 5 when Molly had Raon. Pale was 29? When he and Dae had that one night stand.

Pale does view Theo as someone only he can be with. No matter what happens. Basically, Pale initially just saw him as a means of gaining insight on what it's like to feel emotions, but over time grew to care about him and found peace from their 'companionship' together. That's the best way to put it. And he shows that lightly with making small paintings, or things similar to such.

He does not have romantic feelings nor want them. He might envision himself in a romantic relationship, but he would rather have a complicated relationship then.. that.

He has complicated feelings on the love thing. He wants it, but doesn't feel the same when it's real.

Symbolism

↓↓

His animal is a lion. Quite simple honestly; courage, physical strength, and bravery for the simple view of it. Royalty, protection, leadership, wisdom, justice. All of that. And it honestly fits with Pale, in the way he's raised- his feelings to the world, relationship with Vic and Theo, and for the simple view of it being how he's in AREPH. This is a straightforward thing from the things I picked out

His solar symbol is the planet Saturn. This one I had a hard time with, but didn't want to ask and so I decided to do this all myself. But I do think that it fits. The discipline, order, and structure, plus tough or necessary lessons (karma). A symbol of it was a scythe or a sickel for the seed-sowing times and such. The order and discipline most certainly work with him.

His flower is a Begonia Saturn, sharing the same name with the planet just because I wanted to know if there was one called as such and there is! The symbolism of it. Begonias mainly mean caution and consideration, as well as good communication between different parties. It is commonly given as a gift when paying back a favour. But the Begonia Saturn means (well, all flowers meant) deep and romantic love. They were considered a representation of passion and were commonly used in love spells and potions. Additionally, begonias were seen as a symbol of fancifulness and were often used in gardens and floral displays. I think it's fitting! The Coriander, is here because of how it's connected with his sin; lust— coriander's past as a component in love potions may seem quaint, it continues to be a symbol of wellness and harmony.

His Tarot. Now this is fun. Strength mixed with the Devil. strength, determination, and power – like The Chariot. However, while The Chariot signifies outer strength and will, the Strength card speaks to the inner strength and the human spirit's ability to overcome any obstacle. Strength is about knowing you can endure life's obstacles. But I'm mainly using the reversed! Reversed Strength meaning you have limited control over your actions and your energy is out of control. This can lead to pettiness, fragility, and abuse of authority. It's very fitting for what he does and such. How he's around newcomers in AREPH, and all I suppose. And the Devil? The Devil tarot card suggests feelings of obsession, addiction, and entrapment. It can signify a sense of helplessness due to external forces or circumstances. However, it reminds you that you're responsible for your actions, and your perceived constraints are often self-imposed. This one spoke to me as Pale, because I've been connecting him with Luka quite a lot and it fits it a lot. Helplessness by external forces? It's all fitting

His Sin. Lust. Okay, so this one seems very.. apparent with what I've done with him due to the fact that he has 3 living kids and had a one night stand with Dae, who's a horny bastard. But I swear it's not just the sexual desires to fill the hole and void. I remember lightly talking about the sins of Yun once. They have gone with "bloodlust" for the lust sin. And I really like that idea, and I hope they don't mind me mentioning them here and going with that idea. And also, technically Lust is also about being damned. In Dante's Divine Comedy, the lustful are punished in the Inferno by being swept around in a whirlwind, which symbolizes their ungovernable passions. Which I think is also fitting. Ungovernable passions, power hunger. All of that

The organ symbol, I gave him. Hands. To me, organ symbols connect to the sin. While the tongue would've worked as well, hands just felt. The hands were calling. Which honestly first had me thinking that Greed would be fitting. But he's.. not that greedy. To say. Anyways, the hands. Their symbolism, being the embodiment of strength, help, protection, power, or authority. The image of the palm can symbolize order, vitality, and generosity. A hand logo can be associated with aspiration, authority and dignity, creation, and skill. And I honestly think it just fits. Plainly fits him. It connects to the Lion, to the tarot, his sin and the fact that his talent is painting! His hands are used a lot. Quite a lot.

Pale -> Theo: (a 'giggle'?) He makes me weak. I can't let him know that he does that- I still don't want to show myself ... Fully. To him. He already knows .. too much of me. He's too much.... but my type of too much. To say for the positive, and not to just wallow in those feelings. (Intimacy: 95%)

Pale -> Vic: ....I don't know why he thought what he did was okay. It's not. His disobedience.. I. I didn't like seeing the scars or what they have went thru- but. Oh, who knows what type of Utopia they have reached. (Intimacy: 54%)

^ overall: we went to ask sensitive questions to get more of his views. This is all he said

________________________________

My Evillious Chronicles friends. You will find the Adam Moonlit, Pale Noel, Kaspar Blankenheim and Gumina Glassred in him pretty easily.

[astoryofsuchwoe]

Happy (OC) Valentine's Day!

theo @tsukacchako ; pale + syona @sotogalmo ; aristea @kyokills

[tsukacchako]

MODERN AU VALENTINES

Theo clutches his bag of pins in excitement as they enter the Hibachi restaurant. Theo has always wanted to go, but the idea of sitting with strangers always made him feel gross. Nevertheless, he put on the happy pin and walked towards their table.

“Ah look, we are the first ones here.” Pale exclaims next to him, looking around at the empty 12 person table.

Theo races to a seat at the end, forcing Pale to be the one to sit next to a stranger. The anxiousness he felt a few seconds ago is slowly fading as he picks up the menu.

The sound of footsteps in the distance distracts Theo for a moment. He growls quietly to himself as he feels himself start to zone out, his body solely listening to the sound of people talking. “Strangers … shut the fuck up ….” he mumbles to himself, his fists clenched around the menu.

“Woah! Look who’s here bro!” A voice breaks through his cloud of anger. He looks up to see Vic and Ember standing in front of them, Ember widely shaking his arm as he talks. “You guys are here too? Nice! A great bro hangout!”

“Vic. Ember. What a surprise.” Pale gives them a nod of acknowledgement, a rare motion from the man.

“Didn’t think you guys were the type to go to Hibachi.” Vic comments, glancing between Pale’s “I’m way too sophisticated for this” posture and Theo’s “I hate strangers” expression. “Aren’t you supposed to be in some Cheesecake Factory?”

Theo rolls his eyes and waves the annoyed button in his face. “Shush! We can come here if we want to.”

Ember laughs loudly before slapping the two on the back and sitting next to them. Vic takes a seat next to Ember, the four of them sitting in a line. Their presence calms Theo as strangers fill in the other seats at the table. Soon enough, Theo is proudly wearing his happy pin as the four of them chat and eat. He chuckles as the chef makes a heart out of rice.

A tap on Willow’s shoulder breaks them out of their thoughts. They look over and see Mill standing next to them, canvas and supplies in hand. His eyes are as soft as his smile as he looks down at their notebook.

"Drowning in work like a ship lost at sea," he chuckles, settling down beside them and placing his stuff on the table. "Even the most relentless sailor needs to come up for air."

Willow lets out a scoff-like chuckle and puts their notebook and pen down in front of them. “Just had a good idea”

The sparkle in his eyes shines a little brighter as he places his head on their shoulder, his hair nuzzling against theirs.

“Why stay stranded on an island when you can share the city with me? There’s always a spot next to me for you,” he gestures at the notebook.

Willow explains the plot of a story for one of their college assignments. Mill listens intently; he loves it when Willow rambles about one of their stories. It’s unlike the reserved student to go on tangents about things, so Mill treasures each one.

He leans closer into them, his arms wrapping around their waist. “You know, your engine is bound to overheat if you keep pushing like this. You should rest.”

They sigh and lean back against the chair. “Too restless …”

Mill brushes a long strand of red hair out their face, revealing their eyes clearly to him. “The simplest stroke always helps scratch the itch of creation. Paint with me.”

Willow looks away, a tiny blush of embarrassment rising on their cheeks. “I … can’t … Don’t know how …”

“Let me be your compass.” He takes their hands and pulls them out of their chair, leading them to the center of the room. He sets up his easel and canvas, as well as his paints. He hands them a thinner one and takes a thicker one, dipping his into a cup of water and into a light green paint.

Using Mill’s brush as a guide, Willow’s own dances across the canvas. Shades of blue, tints of red, every color of the rainbow covers the canvas.

They don’t realize how much time they spent until their stomachs growl loudly. Darkness settles over the room as the bright day outside fades to night. 

Unable to paint in the dark, they decide to stop and order a pizza. While waiting for it to arrive, they hang up the canvas on an empty wall of their dorm, signing their names and smiling to each other.

Nariko wakes up to the sounds of pots clanging in the kitchen. She heads downstairs with a growl and a yawn, feeling herself about to snap. When she makes it to the kitchen, she sees Hoshiko standing there, an embarrassed look on her face.

“Hehe … Whoops! I guess I’m a worse cook than I thought …” She looks down at the mess of flour, sugar and pans on the floor. 

Nariko’s previous anger disappeared at the sight, bending down with a chuckle to clean up the mess. “Ya loser … I’ll help you cook.”

A smile fills Hoshiko’s face as she rushes to their side. “Thanks baby.”

Nariko’s face goes red at the pet name, and she turns around to hide it. “Yeah yeah, now hand me the recipe.” She smiles when she sees that Hoshiko was trying to cook pancakes. “Well, let’s get to work Pigtails.”

Before they start, they hear footsteps coming down the stairs.

“Ribbit? What’s going on here?” Amane’s voice calls out as Amane reaches the door to the kitchen. The two girls smile at Amane as Amane stands there, a confused look on Amane’s face. 

“Morning Amane!” Hoshiko smiles, their hands and clothes covered in flour. “We’re just making some pancakes.”

“Wanna join, Frog?” Nariko gestures for Amane to join the two. Amane smiles before joining them, Amane’s long hair bouncing behind Amane.

The three of them work to finish the pancake batter. 

“Alright, time for these bad boys to cook.” Hoshiko is practically bouncing on her feet as she watches Amane hold the bowl above the pan, about to pour the batter.

“Wait,” Nariko stops Amane, a faint blush on her face as she holds out four red stencils, each one in the shape of a heart. “Let’s use these.”

The other two grin at them and nod, taking the stencils and pouring the batter into them. They all lean into each other as the sound of pancakes sizzling on the pan drifts over them. Amane presses a kiss into the other two’s hair. The rest of the day is filled with love.

Mizi’s sweaty palm in its hand is all Sua can think about as they walk through the gorgeous field. The grass tickles its feet as it uses everything in its body to move, to follow her. It refuses to look at her, because if it does it knows it won’t stop blushing.

Sua hears her giggle at its side. “You’re so silly Sua!! You can relax, this isn’t our first date or anything!” Her wide smile almost blinds it, a blush filling its face.

It feels its feathers wrapping around it, hiding it from view. Mizi can tell what it feels and giggles, hugging it from behind.

‘Cute…’ it thinks as Mizi continues to giggle in its ears. It reaches behind it and threads its claws through her hair, its long nails lightly scratching her scalp in a soothing way.

Mizi sighs and leans into its touch. They stay like this for a few minutes before continuing walking, not wanting to spend less time at their destination.

Eventually, the two arrive at the top of a cliff. They set up a cute, small picnic and start getting out the food: watermelons and Everything Bagels for Sua and chicken for Mizi. They smile at each other before digging in.

Sua glances at Mizi as she eats, her eyes drawn to her like a moth to a flame.

‘How did I get so lucky?’ It thinks to itself as it wipes a bit of chicken juice off of her lips.

The two eat and watch the clouds drift by, their fluffy shapes adding to the soft atmosphere. The two lie on the grass once they are full, their fingers intertwined.

“This is perfect,” Mizi whispers, looking into Sua’s eyes. “Best Valentine’s Day ever.”

Sua nods as it leans in, capturing her lips in a gentle kiss.

The first thing Cindy notices when she wakes up is the warm body next to her, cradled in her arms like a childhood stuffed animal. After rubbing her eyes, she remembers that Yuuki stayed the night, and a smile forms on her lips. She snuggles closer to her, wrapping a leg around her waist and pressing her cheek against her soft, white hair. The smell of her coconut shampoo from their shower last night fills her nose, and the fabric of her soft, oversized t-shirt on Yuuki’s small frame feels like holding a cloud. 

They lay like that for a few minutes before she feels her stirring in her arms. She looks down to see her waking up, her ruby-red eyes slowly opening. “Mm … Good morning,” Yuuki mumbles, brushing a strand of green hair away from Cindy’s face.

Cindy smiles at the gesture, a blush forming on her cheeks. She moves a hand under Yuuki’s shirt, her cold hands craving the warmth of her back. “Good morning,” she replies as she presses a kiss to her head. “We really slept in huh?” They look out at one of the open windows of the apartment. The bright sunlight is almost blinding as it shines in through the window. Birds and cars are easily heard, but don’t destroy the calming atmosphere inside.

“What time is it?” Yuuki reaches over to grab her phone on the dresser, her body slipping a tiny bit out of Cindy’s grasp. “2PM. Wow, we really did.” She also notices the date, February 14th. She smiles to herself as she feels Cindy snuggle closer to her, burying her face into her shoulder and pressing a kiss there. 

“Lazy day?” She tightens her grip around her small form.

Yuuki nods and opens a delivery app. “I’ll order some takeout.”

Cindy hums and watches over her shoulder.

“Oh, by the way.” Yuuki mumbles, turning her head to Cindy.

“Hm?” She blushes more as Yuuki gently kisses her. She moves a hand to her cheek.

“Happy Valentine's Day, love.”

@doubtscomein for ember and vic || @sotogalmo for pale and yuuki || @waterydream for mill

[neverforgetyou]

now the sun will rise in the east but im barking at the moon

pale by @weatheredhead

[nyanhara]

4:31

Drew my two ocs with @dyingr0ad 's oc

[coco-mrpeachybear]

Fankid blast again

Need someone to force me into drawing the southernstar fankid

Atp it's my mission to make fankids/combos cuz it's fun :3

Paara is the oldest, demon vtuber with dyed white bits! Dahlia is the second oldest, likes playing farming games and has dyed black stripes. Maanya is the middle kid and is a "forgetful" horror lover!! Atlas is the youngest of the four and likes both sea and stars equally

Twin TheoPale kids :33 gotta make names but the purple on top is the older twin while the purple on bottom is the younger twin

[tsukacchako]

AWWWW THIS IS SO CUTE!!!!

If this is when theyre like teens, then i think cindy and brandon would go as friends since an and trix would go together (@astoryofsuchwoe ) but like the four of them would definitely dance together. cindy would also probably go around to everyone and compliment their outfits (she also probably made everyone a little flower corsages matching who their dates are beforehand). shes probably wearing a lavender flow-y dress (something similar to what i wore to prom). brandon would wear an average tux with like a lil headphones pin for funsies (and ofc his headphones actually on his head)

willow would either skip completely or just stand in the corner by themself. theyre def not a party person, but would go if someone convinced them to. if they go, they'd probably wear a dark blue-ish tux. if ankoku was a participant and went to anakt he'd probably do the same and wear just a normal tux :,] idk if its a blessing or a curse for him that he never went to anakt and experienced the horrors

for shits and giggles, @sotogalmo and amia if toxic ysosu's year had a prom theyd def go as a trio (or maybe pale would be with his ladies, but i feel like eventually hed get bored of them and hang with theo and vic). i can just imagine pale having to drag vic and theos asses out there T-T i think it would be silly if their prom is the origin of theos areph fit, him wearing something very similar and subconsciously holding it in his head until hes an adult and being like "i really liked that, im gonna wear it every day!"

can I start something. alnst oc anakt 39/40 prom. what would they wear. who would they go with. how would things play out.....

[starriebug]

can I get the names of the ocs that you submitted to my ALNST color palette blog? just so I know what I should name the palettes :DD

Rowan is the pale skinned guy with the white roots in his hair and Mar is the Tan girl with bleached blond hair and Blue ends

[suchimpossiblebliss]

alive 'til the stars fade away in an endless night if i can't find the way, i'll follow your light

@doubtscomein for vic || @contradictoryair for pale

[doubtscomein]

" I guess some things never change, huh? "

GRRRR HAPPY 6 MONTHS TO TOXIC YSOSU !!!! i genuinely can't believe it's been that long. omg. BUT SHOUT OUT TO MY BELOVED BESTIES KEL AND SYD !!! idk if id be as deep into my ocs without u two !! u guys genuinely have been two of my biggest driving factors for creating for as long as ive know u, and i can never thank u enough !! creating these weird ass gays together has changed my life, and i really really love u both so much/p <333 i hope u enjoy me slipping in ur other ocs too hehe. just goes to show how much our ocs have all been tied together just like us fr !!!!

( theo + cindy : @tsukacchako | pale + felix : @sotogalmo )

[sotogalmo]

4:44

Happy Valentine's Day!!!! Hope you all have a good day even if you aren't celebrating it !

(full drawings under cut!)

Bastienne for anyone / Yuuki for @tsukacchako 's Cindy + Pale for tsukacchako's Theo & @astoryofsuchwoe 's Vic / Yume is apart of 4 Musketeers of Miscommunication / Syona for @astoryofsuchwoe 's Kiana / Sebastian for @aakaneeee 's Yvonne! /

[astoryofsuchwoe]

babies ..

sorey for the tags </3

aristea ; @kyokills / cindy, brandon, theo ; @tsukacchako / pale, syona ; @sotogalmo / eun ; @mondaymelon / kei ; @apriciticreveries

[tsukacchako]

the smell of burning wood and paint fills his nose

the beautiful spectrum of blue slowly turns into a spectrum of black.

he wants to fall to his knees. to scream and cry and punch a wall.

but instead he watches as the painting pale spent hours on burns to the ground.

"wh .... what?" he says to no one. "it-it's on fire ... pale's painting is ...

destroyed."

he wants to fall to his knees. to scream and cry and punch a wall.

he wants to feel bad.

he should be feeling bad, right?

after you do something wrong you feel bad, that's what it means to be human–

but he can't.

he's brutally reminded of the choices his Father made when he was young, the stories he told about how he was "fixed."

"there is no need for you to feel bad, dear theo"

he can't. he can't. he can't.

he physically cannot feel bad for his mistake.

whywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhy-

"pale .....

im sorry."

< Pale by @sotogalmo >

[neverforgetyou]

time moves slow when you're lost in a dream (pt 1.)

tw // murder, blood

You enter the Garden, your signature smile plastered on your face and sign. Was it real? Was it genuine? You didn’t know, but that smile stayed as you explored the area.

Flesh monsters roamed the Garden, each with a smile of their own and a green light on their collars. They were happy. Were you happy? 

You didn’t know. 

You scoff and turn to the first person you see, a human with short, black hair and round glasses. They are holding something in their hand, you don’t know what it is.

“Scum.”

They look up at you, squinting as the sun shines behind you and blinds them.

“Yeah, you heard me. Human scum. Everyone here is human scum. I’m sick already, I feel gross.” You look away and at some tree in the distance.

They continue to look up at you, not making a sound. This intrigues you.

“Don’t you agree? That all humans are scum?” You turn to them, waiting for them to answer.

They look around at all the scum before looking back at you. “I mean… I slightly agree, most of them are just out for chaos and are an annoyance.”

You find clarity in his words as the smile on your face turns truly genuine. You hold your hand out, “Theo.”

They take it, “Pale.”

“How old are you?”

“Eleven.”

“Eleven? I’m only six.”

Pale nods. You nod back, a funny feeling in your chest as you sit down next to him, still holding the sign in front of your face. Pale doesn’t question it, eventually understanding its purpose.

You soon find out that the object in Pale’s hand was a paintbrush. You stand over his shoulder as he moves it across a canvas, painting out a beautiful scene in front of you.

“So other wastes of space enjoy this? .. Painting?” You ask as he dips the paintbrush in a pretty green, “I don’t understand it .. but I’m not … mad about it …”

Pale hums as he continues painting. “Some paintings are truly worthless, absolutely meaningless. I paint for myself.”

“And that’s what gives it meaning?”

Pale nods.

You try to imagine yourself painting, putting your emotions onto a piece of paper and showing it to the world. But, as hard as you try, you cannot picture yourself doing that. It doesn’t benefit the purpose all humans have, so you can’t think it's anything but meaningless.

You and Pale find yourself sitting under the big tree at the center of the Garden quite often. Pale likes to watch, taking in everything around him and filing it for later. You hate it. You hate the idea of wasting your time watching trash do trashy things. 

But, Pale is your friend, and you remember overhearing Orlar say that this is what friends do. So you sit, trying as hard as you can to pay an ounce of attention to a single human.

You do this at least three times a week. It’s torture, absolute torture.

Until one day, a certain someone spots your attention. Blue bangs covering the right side of their face, which is displaying a frown. They’re the most beautiful person you’ve ever seen.

You feel your face flush and press the sign with a neutral expression on it closer to your face, trying to hide behind it. Normally your signs convey the emotion you’re feeling, but you don’t want everyone around you to know how flustered you are. Pale notices but doesn’t say anything, simply watching how things turn out.

You hear footsteps as someone walks towards the two of you. “Hey.”

You look up and see the beautiful person from earlier, staring down at you two. You blush more and hide more behind your sign. 

The person makes a face before turning to Pale. “You two are the only one’s here without any bruises” they comment, looking the two of you up and down.

You can’t help but let out a scoff. “‘Course we are, we know our place” you mumble.

The person makes a face at you, and you blush more. “Um … ok …. Well … I’m Vic.”

‘Vic’ you repeat to yourself in your head, ‘a pretty name. A short name.’

You lose yourself in his name and presence, not paying attention to what Pale and Vic are discussing.

It turns out, all you needed was a push. Ever since Vic came up to the two of you, you made it your mission to seek him out. Another human on your list. You can’t help but feel excited, intrigued. You feel … something … when looking at the two of them. Something different … something … good …. Your smile is the most genuine it’s ever been.

You stand over Vic’s shoulder–well, you try to–as he works, trying to complete the work for tomorrow’s class. You shove the smug sign in front of your face. 

“Still having trouble scum?” It’s so ingrained in you to call any human you see scum, but Pale and Vic know you don’t genuinely mean it when it comes to them.

Vic signs and turns to look at you, a look of boredom on his face. “I’m not having trouble Signs, I just … this is all so meaningless.” He puts the sheet music onto the desk in front of him, sighing deeply.

You switch the smug sign for a sign with a frown. “‘Meaningless’? None of this is meaningless, we are here to serve a purpose and right now we’re learning how to achieve it.”

He sighs and glares a little at you. You can tell he doesn’t agree with you, and you can feel yourself starting to get angry. You can feel the familiar hateful words rise up in your throat. But before it flies out, you push it down. You can’t say that to Vic, as much as your body tries to spew the words out of you.

The more time you spend with Vic the more desperate you are to change for him. Change your mindset, change your looks, change everything. You want to change for him.

That’s why it hits so incredibly hard when you wake up to find his bed empty. For the past two years, the three of you lived in the same dorm together. You woke up five minutes later than Pale and ten minutes earlier than Vic, his sleeping presence comforting you as you plan your day. That’s how it’s been, every day for two years. Your entire flow is off when you turn your head and see his bed empty and made, as if he was never there at all. Gone without a trace.

You sit up and turn to Pale, who is looking at you back. “Where is he?”

Pale is silent for a few seconds, before replying “I don’t know-”

You grab your panic sign and rush out the room before he finishes, looking all over the Garden for him. Segyien chase after you, shouting “get back here 035799!” But, for the first time in your life, you ignore them, continuing to run around looking for Vic.

You get punished for this, as you should. You take it well, as you should. Because you’re normally very well-behaved, they go easy on you. There aren’t nearly as many welts on your back as other humans might have, but any lingering pain is overshadowed by the loss of Vic.

You feel yourself start to spiral. Everything reminds you of him: trees from where you first met, music from all the practices you shared, the water from the color of his hair.

Seeing other pathetic humans smile with the ones they love fill you with an uncontrollable rage. The cherry on top was the Wanted poster left on your bed from Orlar, who had to visit because of your mental health. Your fingertips ran across the paper before ripping it into pieces. Tears fell down your cheeks as you cried and ran out the room.

You start to lash out at the scum you’re forced to be surrounded with. It started with words, berating people until they burst into tears. But that wasn’t enough. You overhear something about escaping and what life outside the Garden could be like from a little girl’s mouth, and it triggers you. You dig your knife into her chest, watching the light fade from her eyes in real time. You step on her orange hair as you walk away, the glee from her death momentarily distracting you from the Vic-shaped hole in your heart.

You get punished for this, as you should. You take it well, as you should. The segyien go harsher on you than the last time, but it still isn’t too bad. There aren’t nearly as many burn marks on your arms as other humans might have, but any lingering pain is overshadowed by the loss of Vic.

Pale is your anchor throughout all this, helping you snap out of it when you need to and perform the best you can in your classes. You cling onto his arm as you stand with the rest of his class, ready to receive their Diplomas. 

You turn to him, your smile wider than it’s been in years. “I can’t wait to join you at AREPH.”

Pale hums, a small smile forming on his face. “You have to win first.”

You scoff, almost offended he’d say that. “Of course I’m gonna win, I’m the best one here.”

Pale chuckles before the head of the Garden starts talking. You and Pale stop talking and turn to face her, listening to what she has to say.

Pale’s absence is another blow. Orlar gave you a phone so you two could stay in contact, but it doesn’t feel the same. You lash out every now and then, your mental stability as stable as a roller coaster. Soon enough, it’s time for you to graduate. You receive your Diploma and look at it, ready for what comes next.

You go through the preliminaries with a confident grin. You know your talent, you know your drive. You know you’re gonna get in. And you do.

pale: @weatheredhead || vic: @astoryofsuchwoe < part two >