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spaceshipellie · 1 year

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hii how are you! i just saw your tlou x ethal cain event and im so excited!!

i wanna request an ellie x reader fluff/angst? tlou era with the lyrics : is there someone who has your heart, that keeps you gone, away from me?

where reader sees that ellie starts to hang around with dina more and less with you, feels insecure and thats when ellie notices that there's something off abt r and decides to confront r, which leads to a confession from r .. 💗 tysm!

“is there someone who has your heart, that keeps you gone, away from me?”

pairing: ellie x reader

summary/warnings: tlou au, jealous reader, pining, confessing feelings, fluff

hi sweet, i’m good thanks hope you’re okay too!

you and ellie had clicked pretty instantly when you joined the commune and had been best friends ever since. you shared everything together and knew each other like the back of your hand, which is why it hurt so much when all of a sudden she seemed to be spending less time with you and more time with dina.

you loved dina, of course you did, she was your friend too. but it twisted a knife in you every time you saw her with ellie, laughing and talking like you used to. dina was also naturally a very affectionate person meaning she was always hugging ellie or touching her arm and you could never tell if it was just the way dina was or if there was something going on between them.

even if it was the latter you knew you shouldn’t be jealous. if ellie had found happiness you wanted that for her, especially after her messy relationship with cat. but if she had, why hadn’t she told you? and if you were being completely honest with yourself, you wanted to be the one ellie fell for.

your feelings for your best friend had snuck up on you. one day you were meeting up with her and upon seeing her had this aching urge to kiss her, take her hand, tell her how you felt. maybe these feelings had been brewing silently behind the scenes for a while but it felt like it had hit you like a ton of bricks.

that was about a month ago and you had made an effort to keep it to yourself and not risk ruining anything. but maybe you had by mistake? why else would she be acting distant from you. it’s not like you never hung out anymore but the tension had changed slightly. in fact you were having a movie night with her tonight at your place. oh yeah, and with dina. you’d considered cancelling but curiosity to see what they’d be like around each other was eating you alive. you had to see even if it hurt.

the tv was the only thing glowing in the dark room as you sat on the couch, ellie in between you and dina. all three of you had your legs stretched out resting on the coffee table. you felt insane for micro-analysing the situation. was ellie sat closer to you or dina? did she lean into her more when she laughed at something? ellie’s foot suddenly knocked yours as she shifted their position.

“sorry.”

“it’s okay.”

christ, i’m pathetic, you thought as that accidental foot tap caused butterflies to erupt in your stomach. you continued watching the movie with your arms folded, occasionally reaching over to grab some of the snacks. suddenly the two of them burst out laughing at something in the movie that you must have missed and you looked over to see dina’s head on ellie’s shoulder and ellie looking down at her briefly before looking back at the screen, a huge humorous grin across her face. you couldn’t help the sigh that left you as you excused yourself to the bathroom. you didn’t see how ellie’s eyes followed you out of the room, her grin fading.

“um, i’ll be right back,” ellie mumbled, brushing crumbs off her hoodie as she stood up.

you jumped when you opened the bathroom door to leave and found her standing there. you prayed she hadn’t been there long otherwise she might have heard the pep talk you’d actually been doing in there.

“shit, you scared me.”

“sorry.”

assuming she was just wanting to use the bathroom you awkwardly smiled and brushed past her.

“wait.”

you stopped and turned to look at the careful look she had in her eyes.

“did i do something?”

“what do you mean?”

“well, i don’t know i feel like you’ve been acting weird around me lately.”

you wanted to scoff.

“i haven’t been acting weird.”

“oh come on,” she looked at you, expecting you to correct yourself.

“what? i haven’t.”

“you just seem like i’ve pissed you off or something.”

you sighed and paused before speaking. “well, i thought you were acting weird around me and i don’t know what i’ve done.”

“me? you haven’t done anything.”

“then why is there this distant tension thing happening between us? what’s changed!?”

her expression changed and she looked like she’d been caught or something.

“we’re not distant.”

“ellie… we used to talk about everything and now i feel like you spend more time with dina than me.” you immediately regretted saying it.

“am i not supposed to hang out with dina? i thought you were friends.”

“we are and you can, i didn’t mean that i meant, fuck. i just meant it feels like you’re pulling away from me but if you like her or something then i’m sorry for bringing it u–“

“woah woah, i don’t like her? what gave you that idea? and why…” her voice trailed off.

you froze.

“why would you care if i did?”

“i wouldn’t,” you shot out a bit too quickly.

“tell me.”

“no, it’s nothing! forget i said anything.”

“i know when you’re lying,” she said, taking a step towards you.

you sighed. “fine. i like you, ellie. as in more than a friend.”

the corners of her mouth twitched upwards but she cleared her throat to compose herself.

“why didn’t you tell me before?”

“it’s not an easy thing to confess,” you said, starting to feel like an idiot. a smile broke out on her lips.

“what?” you prodded, scowling slightly.

“i’m glad you told me.”

“okay…”

“i like you too.” your knee buckled a little.

“what?”

“i like you.”

“then why the fuck did you stop talking to me?!” her face switched back to panic for a split second before she grabbed your hands.

“i freaked out, i’m sorry. i wasn’t thinking. but i’m not fucking with you, i swear.”

you studied her face. you caught her eyes sneak a glance at your lips briefly.

“okay, i believe you.”

her freckled cheeks blushed and her eyes squinted as she smiled.

“so… can i kiss you?” she whispered.

“yes,” you whispered back.

she softly lifted your chin and placed a kiss on your lips whilst your hands found her waist.

“what’s taking so lo– oh fucking finally!” dina’s laugh snapped you two apart and you covered your mouth with your hand, slightly embarrassed at getting caught.

“as happy as i am for you both, you’re missing the best part of the movie. hurry up.”

dina disappeared back into the living room and you and ellie looked at each other. you had nothing to worry about after all.

#tlou x cain requests 🌙#ellie williams x reader #ellie williams x you #tlou au #ellie x reader #ellie williams #ellie williams oneshot #ellie williams blurb #ellie williams fluff #ellie williams angst #best friend ellie williams #anon requests 🌷

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minamorsart · 6 months

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What , And how did you start pairing lotura, And Plance .?

Ooooh boy am I excited to answer this!!! This is going to be a long answer, hope you don't mind! Because I have some specific memories about these two ships, particularly lotura, that I would absolutely love to share with you!

Prepare for a long read! Hehe

Starting with lotura, when season 3 came out and Lotor made his debut, of course I was all 👀👀👀 Because that day something awoke in 19 year old me that I didn't realize could ever be awoken lol. And I wish I could remember exactly what my reaction was to his cat-and-mouse chase with Allura in the episode "The Hunted", but at the time I must not have considered the idea of them ever going in the direction of a romance. Looking back now though, how could I have been so blind??! That chase scene is HOT. I mean just look at them!!! Look at Lotor especially woah mama 😳

Season 4 was mediocre to me at the time, I will confess, for a lot of different reasons. But then season 5, man... SEASON 5!!!! I remember it was March 3rd, 2018. I wasn't keeping up with the show anymore, but I just so happened to see an article online that said season 5 had been released the day before on Netflix. I told my sister and we decided, "eh, let's watch at least the first episode."

And we watched the first episode, alright. And then another, and then another and another until we watched all six episodes in one sitting. We were both blown away! Lotor... Allura... together???? 😲

Their adventures, their chemistry, their clear attraction to one another... I was OBSESSED!!! I shipped them hardcore after that. They were and are still my #1 OTP, and it's because of them that I really tried to work hard and improve my art! I wanted to draw them all the time, making mini comics and AUs, and while their tragic ending actually left me in tears and I was upset for a really long time, I can now say that I have been able to heal and move on from it--eh, mostly anyway, haha.

It still hurts, but 5 years later I feel that I've matured and come to a greater understanding and acceptance. I have come to really appreciate how perfect they are for each other, both aesthetically of course (cuz lookit that sexual dimorphism babeyyy) as well as the many, many things they have in common. I have also come to appreciate their flaws, their imperfections, and the mistakes they made regarding each other and their relationship. They may have gotten a sad ending, but they were still truly equals in every way. It's just beautiful, and my love for them now is stronger than ever :')

For Lance and Pidge on the other hand, it's not quite as clear as when I started shipping them! I remember rolling my eyes at Lance and Allura's first meeting, like "okay Lance is one of THESE guys, here we go 🙄"

Other than that I didn't really ship Lance or Pidge with anyone! If I'm recalling correctly, I don't think it wasn't until after season 6 that I started shipping them together. I remember reading metas and analyses of their relationship that people were making in anticipation for season 7's release, and the more I thought about it, the more I started to really like the idea of Lance and Pidge getting together! And there are definitely subtle hints throughout the earlier seasons of Pidge's feelings for Lance, as well as their fun chemistry with one another, like the episode "Space Mall"!

The hints are not so subtle to me now, but back then it wasn't until I watched season 7 that I actually became hopeful that they could be a couple! I especially loved the moments when Pidge indirectly called Lance "cute, in a creepy, hideous sort of way" lol, and when Lance become very protective over Pidge in such a way that I don't think we ever saw him react before! I was honestly taken aback by that moment!

And again, their ending was definitely less than satisfactory, particularly Lance's ending (still hate it with a passion), but just like with Lotura's relationship, I have also come to appreciate many things about Plance's relationship today. While Lotor and Allura have so much in common and are able to reach an understanding with each other that they can't with anyone else, it would seem at first that Pidge and Lance are far too different to be compatible. And it is true that they are very different, but for one, that can be a good thing! The foundations of some relationships are built off of their differences. It can make someone more compassionate and more open-minded when they have a willingness to accept and appreciate the differences they have with their partner, and a willingness to take a genuine interest in the things that their partner is passionate about, even if they don't completely understand.

And two, at the same time, Pidge and Lance DO have things in common! They both love their families, both have a stronger connection to Earth compared to the other paladins, and they are able to bond with one another over fun pastimes such as video games! How cute is that??!

And just like with Lotor and Allura, I also love Pidge and Lance for their flaws. It did take me a while to come around to Lance, because while he has his funny moments and one-liners, I also found him very annoying at times lol. But I think the fact that he can be really annoying honestly makes him the most realistic character in Voltron. Not necessarily the most relatable, at least not for me, but definitely the most human! Because there are people in our real lives that we love and cherish deeply, but they absolutely have their moments where you go, "ugh, you're so annoying and it really frustrates me when you act this way" but we still wouldn't trade them for the world 🥰

And just to draw one last comparison between Lotura and Plance, I especially LOVE how incredibly different the two pairings are even from each other! To me, Lotor and Allura are sexy and passionate, while Pidge and Lance are pure and fun! They're all so unique and special in their own ways, and they bring so much to the table, both for their characters and for their relationships.

I can't help but write essays every time I get asks, I'm so sorry lol 😭 There's so much more I could say about these guys, but I think I'd better stop here haha! I had a lot of fun writing about Lotura and Plance, and I hope you had just as much fun reading this! I really love these characters a lot. I'm so incredibly grateful that they exist, even if in the form of fiction, and I'm even MORE grateful that my love for them has continued to grow over the years. Thank you so much for the ask!!!! 💖💜💙💚

Oh and one last thing: we were robbed of a lot of different potential interactions with a lot of different characters, but I have to say it would have been fun to see more of Lotor and Lance interacting with each other! Lance was always acting out due to his jealousy, while Lotor on the other hand mostly just ignored him lol.

#asks #lotura #plance #lotor #allura #vld lance #pidge gunderson #katie holt #voltron #voltron legendary defender #meta #voltron meta

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empressofthesunslittlecorner · 6 months

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Let's talk about Zutara

WARNING NOT KATAANG AND MAIKO FRIENDLY

CONTINUE WITH PRECAUTION

I thought I should finally use this second blog of mine for the reason I made it.

To scream into the void and find mutals.

So let's talk about one Ship which people to this day fight over.

The fanon ship (at it pains me to write this) made out of Zuko and Katara from Avatar the Last Airbender aka. Zutara.

I read a lot of analyses, arguments and so on about this ship.

It probably all has been said about Zutara, but since I'm writing an AangXOC story which will include Zutara, I felt like I should give my stance on it.

Back when Avatar first aired in the country I lived in the time I was like 11-12 years old.

I had an instant crush on Aang since he was so funny, kind and gentle.

I never saw Aang's crush on Katara as a problem, because it always seemed to me, till season 3, that Katara was just motherly to Aang.

Giving a friend a cheek kiss in thanks doesn't automatically mean that you like-like them.

At this time I only really shipped Sokka and Yue and cried my eyes out how it ended.

And then the famous scene from book 2 in the crystal catacombs under Ba Sing Se happened.

Short recap, in that season Zuko goes through a lot of chances and I root for, wishing him the best.

Now back to the scene, I said.

The scene turned me into a Zutara shipper in one instant.

Zuko and Katara opening up to each other, sharing their traumas and feelings about the Fire Nation, Katara offering to heal his scare...it was poetic cinema.

I was shivering all over and was like kiss, kiss, kiss!

Let's not forget that before this scene I didn't even see them as a potential couple...but this scene, this beautiful moment they shared with each other, opened my eyes.

I was like, yeah this is it, this is something one should want from a partner. Mutual understanding.

Then Zuko decided to betray Katara for a chance to go home and I cried right there with our favourite waterbender.

I felt also betrayed.

The scene they shared made me feel things, which I experienced as a young girl for the first time, I felt the connection between Zuko and Katara like it was my own.

I was Katara at this moment and couldn't believe that the boy who opened up to me, who understood what it was like to have their mother taken away from the Fire Nation, who said that he wanted to change, that he turned his back on me.

Didn't I/Katara mean nothing to him?

Didn't he feel how special our/their moment was?

I was devasted.

When Zuko then joined the Gaang in the middle of season 3 I could understand Katara's anger towards him.

Katara and I trusted him first and he betrayed our trust.

We had a right to be angry.

As the Southern Raiders came on, as I saw how flawlessly they worked as a team, I felt my own heart heal.

I swerve to this day, that I thought they would kiss at the end of the episode, but we got a hug.

However, this hug, made me feel all giddy and mushy inside.

I felt it was something special.

Maybe even more than a kiss.

It was a huge of forgiveness and the start of a new bond.

And then the last episode comes on.

Zuko sacrificed himself to save Katara from Azula lighting, she healed him then...I thought, yes this is it, now comes the kiss...but nothing.

Then suddenly Zuko is back together with Mai and I was like WTF?!

And Aang and Katara share this really intense kiss at the end.

I was literally like:

youtube

It came out of nowhere for me.

That Aang wasn't over his crush on Katara we all know, but when did Katara decide she liked Aang?

When did this realisation happen, when in the Ember Island Player, which was like a few days before Sozin's Comet Katara made clear that she didn't want to have a romance or get kissed by Aang, which he didn't respect.

Did he ever actually apologise for the unwanted kiss? I don't think so.

Remember I had a crush on Aang, but through the seasons I became a Zutara Shipper and literally felt all their moments like they were my own.

I was Katara and Aang wasn't on my radar anymore.

I really doubted my interpretation skill, did all these lovely, mushy, heartful moments have been really romantic or did I project?

I felt like Zuko and Katara had broken up with me.

Yeah, so much inpact had their "friendly" moments at me!

To this day, the hug Katara and Zuko shared on the Southern Raiders is one of the most lovely moments of any of my ships.

Not even kissing made me feel, what this hug made me feel.

Think about how powerful this is!

If Zutara had kissed, I would have probably passed out or cried like a baby in happiness.

I don't know and I will never know since it's a fanon ship.

Uurgh.

Anyway, years passed and as I mention before I read a lot of analysis and so on.

What shocked me most was that Byrke originally planned to have Zuko and Katara together but then changed their minds.

It did reassure me, how I wasn't imagining things between them, however reading then how the Souther Raider Episode changed a lot of times because Bryke found it too shippy, tells you a lot.

They wanted to make Kataang canon and better, than the natural flow Zutara had going on.

I want to repeat again, a HUG was MORE ROMANTIC and INTENSE than the crappy kiss Kataang shared.

Like what?!

How is this possible?

Well, yeah, if you don't force things and actually make people interact in a wholesome way it can be.

Zuko and Katara felt never forced because they just clicked. They were different, but the same in many things, that it was so natural to understand the other.

Aang and Katara felt always more like a mother-and-son duo, than real lovers.

And Maiko was kinda lame too.

Sorry.

I have this theory they just wanted to pair Zuko with a Fire Nation girl and be done with it.

I don't know why they chose Mai when it could have been worked with Ty Lee too, if it was only to pair Zuko with someone who doesn't understand him or doesn't want to try.

Excuse me, maybe Ty Lee would have been better since she seemed to care for her friends, in contrast to Mai who just tried her hardest to be goth and hate everything.

Sorry.

What I'm trying to say with this rant?

I think, as someone who had liked Aang and then felt more connected to Zuko and Katara, I can clearly say that if Katara had been a real girl and not a fictional character controlled by men, she would be together with Zuko.

Why would I/Katara choose someone who I need to mother, who is younger than me, who can't relate to me, if there is an older handsome boy who is kinda dorky and awkward and tries his best, understands my feelings and helps me to parent the Gaang?

Yeah, no, Katara would have smooched Zuko if she had been a real girl.

Now, who of you who knows me, can say, but Empress some of your OCs are older than their canon partner, how can you say that Kataang can't work if you do this in your stories?!

I want to make clear I don't have general a problem if the girl is older than the guy or taller.

It's just that their supposed age gap is when they are together makes it creepy.

Look at an example.

My parents have a three-year age gap.

Nothing much.

They are both in their 60, mid 60, so it's not weird.

They are in the same mature stage in life and understand the struggles of the other.

Now think if my parents meet at 12 and 15.

My dad is the older one.

Are you going to say with a straight face that it wouldn't have been creepy if my parents started to date at this age?

What does a teenager want with a pre-puperty child?

Also, they live in completely different worlds, how can they relate to each other?

The same goes for Katara and Aang, what does a 14-year-old want from a 12-year-old?

I bet if it was the other way around, we would all give Aang shit for preying on a 12-year-old girl.

The gender shouldn't decide if we find a couple creepy or not, even if it's so sadly.

What I want to say, Kataang would have worked better if let's say season 3 ended with no pairing, just all being friends and happy and then in the comics when they age, when Katara is 22 and Aang is 20 they got together.

They would have matured, been on the same level, probably dated other people and had experience.

It would have been okay.

Even if I still think Zutara is superior in anything.

Anyway, I hope I could explain myself and no hate to the canon ships and their shippers.

Ship and let ship.

I just wanted to explain my reason why I will be always a Zutara Shipper and don't reconsider the ending of Avatar as the end and Legend of Korra.

I will forever be Team-Season-Four-Where-Aang-Finds-Hiding-Airbenders-And-Falls-in-Love-With-A-Airbender Girl-His-Age-And-Zuko-And-Katara-Marry-Eachother-And-Katara-Becomes-The-Most-Beloved-And-Badass-Fire Lady-In-History!

And they find also Zuko mom ^^

So for now this is it for me.

If you want my take on an Aang and OC story, where Zutara will be canon, go to my other Tumblr profile empressofthesunwriter and read Yin and Yang.

Here is the link to the Index

I wish you all a nice day/night!

Till next time!

#avatar the last airbender #atla #zutara #zutarian #zuko #prince zuko #atla zuko #katara #atla katara #atla zutara #zuko x katara #katara x zuko #Youtube #alta zutara

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soyellowcurtainsthen · 5 months

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Who’s the man at the prison gate in the Pit Babe Series 2 Trailer?!?!?

Hi, I’m an idiot with an internet connection So, here is my totally accurate and scientifically sound analysis in support of my theory that it’s Pete. Grab your tinfoil hats friends and follow me down the rabbit hole.

First, I’m going to need you to turn your brain off and live in a world with me in which we won’t even consider that this is a new character who has not been introduced yet ( jokes on me because change2561 would pull this type of thing).

Now we need to narrow down the pool of candidates from our currently known characters. Obviously if our Prison throuple of Kenta, Winner and Dean are out of prison and spying on the X-Hunter squad we can safely assume the person who got them out isn’t likely to be in the inner circle of the X-Hunter team, so we can safely disregard Babe, Charlie, Alan, Jeff, North, Sonic, and Kim. Now we have three players in the running- Way, Pete and Tony.

So let’s get to narrowing this down, behold Exhibit A

Our man in black stays out of focus for most of the clip, but from what we can see it seems that this man is dressed in a suit and as we never see Way ever dressed in those types of clothes the whole season I think it’s fair to also vote him off the Island.

Now to our final two candidates, it’s time to analyse some heights baby!!! We are going to use Kenta as a control subject, height wise, for this as he is the most likely of the prison throuple to have had scenes with both the remaining candidates.

So let’s start with Tony, it’s ridiculously difficult to get shots of these two together where Kenta isn’t half a mile behind and throwing off the perspective because of that, but I tried my best.

As you can see from these over the shoulder shots, Tony and Kenta’s eye level looks to be about the same, with them being almost exactly the same height ( Tony being slightly taller at a push). With this shot also confirming that they are very similar in height to each other.

Moving onto Pete, we can see that our baby boys have a bit of a height difference, with Kenta being the shorter of the two. His eyeline whenever talking to Pete is directed upward.

Now let’s head back to the original shot of the mystery man’s back and use our new found knowledge, and attempt to solve this by using the ancient scientific method of drawing lines on pictures.

As Winner isn’t standing at full height I’m disregarding him from the experiment, much like I wish I could disregard him from the narrative completely.

So let’s draw onto our screenshot where Kenta and Dean’s eyeline should land if they were looking at someone that was of similar height to them.

And now let’s draw where their actual eyeline ends up, taking into consideration where our mystery man’s shoulders are to give us a rough estimate of where their eyeline should land if they were looking at his face, which they are.

Now as you can see from my totally foolproof scientific method, both of their eyelines are pointed slightly upward indicating that the person on the other side of the gate is taller than both Kenta and Dean. Now there is only one of our candidates who is taller than Kenta and that leaves us with only on option left… Pete.

I rest my case.

( Also just on the logical side, why would Tony get the man who betrayed him and stabbed him out of jail, like that makes no narrative sense)

#I have half a science degree and I’m not afraid to use it #I will take no constructive criticism at this time #only my Nobel prize #you’re damn right I’ll try and shoehorn in PeteKenta crumbs to the trailer #pit babe the series #pit babe series 2 #meta post #my meta posts

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myvirtuesuncounted · 5 months

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my full review of ttpd (a month late, shhh)

tw opinions. if you like a song that i don't or vice versa or you don't agree with a comment i made, good for you! get it off your chest, get it off my desk!

fortnight

One of Taylor’s weaker openers, it’s a nice song, not much going on though

the production is boppy, not much going on once again

Interesting how Taylor sees her muse as living a good life without her and a nice domestic scene with his wife watering flowers but for her, her husband is cheating on her, implying she thinks she will never be happy, maybe because of how this relationship went or her general perception of relationships and her experiences with them. That is my interpretation of the song.

The outro with post and taylor's harmonies SLAPS

Like I said, this song feels a bit lacking of substance both thematically and technically, it doesn't do it for me, i don't hate listening to it, i just don't love it.

i think it might be a song that grows on me over time but it won't ever be a fave for me.

i also think in light of the music video, it's lost some of its spark for me, as that music video made no sense to me. i don't think it deserved to be a single.

the tortured poets department

“You left your typerwriter at my apartment, straight from the tortured poets department” implying that this thing of which she is now part had been introduced to her by the muse

The muse has probably compared them to poets like Dylan Thomas and Patti Smith and probably romanticised their relationship into the work of a tortured poet, but that’s not real life.

Taylor brings back to reality that now because of his self sabotage that brought both of them down in this relationship, he has lost the one who will decode him, hold him, know him

the above are just little analyses i like making as i listen to the song, they have nothing to do about whether i like the song or not, it's just me trying to make sense of it. you'll see that a lot.

i do not like the charlie puth line. at all. why is it there?

also don't like the tattooed golden retriever line, the image of a tattooed golden retriever is terrifying.

i was so off-guard about the namedropping in this song, sorry i had no idea who dylan thomas or patti smith were.

this song is trying too hard to be poetic, i think (which one could argue is the whole point of this song), but it doesn't stand out much to me. the themes are interesting though.

this is a pretty weak title track, personally. i feel like it doesn't encapsulate the essence of the album (which i am confused about tbh, ttpd has a lot of aesthetics going on for itself). it has nothing on little fearless and evermore.

my boy only breaks his favourite toys

so we all thought this song would be pretty petty, but i honestly don't think it is extremely so. there's a sort of pity for the muse, that the breaking of his 'favourite toys' is a form of self sabotage and that they could've had it all.

i love how it starts so defeated, "oh here we go again", which i think is in reference to the muse's self sabotage ruining her life

it also feels a bit reflective and nostalgic of the fact that it wasn't all bad, which i quite liked. i liked the contrast of feelings.

"once i fix me, he's gonna miss me" is a devastating line btw

so is "he saw forever so he smashed it up"

song is a bop, i like the lyricism, overall i enjoy this song :)

down bad

i enjoy the cunty synth here ahaha. for all the jokes the fandom makes about jack fucking around with the synth while taylor sings the most soulcrushing lyrics, it is so real especially for this song.

taylor has never sounded so good while swearing. "fuck it if i can't have us" is such an earworm.

i feel like this is the most petty song in the album, mainly because of the "teenage petulance" in the lyrics

the callback to new romantics in the bridge is so insane, i noticed it immediately.

the production is so mystical and giving space alien vibes, i enjoy it.

so long, london

the intro is giving big ben bells and/or wedding bells

the fast beat vs the slow melodies is such an interesting juxtaposition (to my lit teacher, i hope i used this word right XD). i think it really highlights the conflicting feelings this song explores ("i'm just mad as hell 'cause i loved this place") and also how taylor isn't able to keep up with how quickly the relationship is dying (the production) and she's still sifting through her feelings to find acceptance (the melody)

"how much sad did you think i had" something something "how long can we be a sad song" something something "don't want no other shade of blue but you"

the bridge is just the most devastating strike to my heart

"you sacrificed us to the gods of your bluest days" is one of my favourite lyrics on this album

track 5 is track 5ing

this song is a masterpiece, i genuinely love it so much

but daddy i love him

get this song out of my face, i hate it so much. blocked on spotify.

why did taylor have to waste good lyricism and production on such an awful premise and "fuck you" to her fans dishing valid criticism of her association with matty?

the baby line is hilarious though, because i did indeed fall for it the first time

like you can talk about taylor's agency all you want but everyone knows what the implications of this song are and i feel hurt and offended that this is the attitude both taylor and some swifties are taking.

"the most judgemental creeps" um, is this fucking play about us?

fresh out the slammer

her voice sounds beautiful in this

love the country twang in the production

it's giving getaway car thematically

i think it's interesting to see this song so soon after so long, london, where she says she was "going down with [the ship]" but she was literally dreaming about running into the arms of another man and was "[doing her] time". like ok girl!

vibey song but not for me. i don't have much to say on this.

florida!!!

IMMEDIATE FAVE, i had claimed this since day 1 and i was so right

cunty production, i can tell florence had a lot of influence. no more synths! bring out the drums!

at first, i had no idea what was happening in this song, but when taylor talked about it being about reinventing yourself, it made a lot more sense to me and i love that interpretation, it rings so true.

can i be honest and say that i thought it said "arms" not "home", like that doesn't even make sense 😭

florence's verse fucking slays, my only gripe is that her voice in the verse is kinda quiet compared to the instrumental. could've used some better mixing here.

"me and my ghosts had a hell of a time" is a banger of a line

the bridge is immaculate, has been in my head since i first listened to it.

this song is amazing, there is nothing like it, pure perfection. top song on the album.

guilty as sin?

obsessed with the beat

hedge maze = labyrinth = the mind, idk i just loved that connection

we have reached the ovulation song lmao

did you know it took me so long to realise the chorus was talking about masturbation? like i knew the song was horny, but i didn't realise it was THAT horny.

i think i called this a mature, sadder false god in my notes. that uncertain, sensual, desiring tone is probably what motivated that connection in my head.

WHAT IF HE'S WRITTEN MINE ON MY UPPER THIGH ONLY IN MY MIIIIIND

the bridge is so beautiful, i am a sucker for religious imagery.

overall i'm obsessed, beat good, lyricism good, i love it

who's afraid of little old me?

now i know this is the fan favourite, and i understand why. it gives an eery, angry vibe, and i also enjoy it. to some extent.

namely, the part i enjoy most is the circus imagery, i liked how she leaned into the circus animal metaphor to depict her struggles in fame and her relationships. it's like a badly behaved circus animal about to be put down absolutely losing it and raging about its plight, which i enjoy as a means of storytelling and expressing emotion. i also enjoy it as a callback to mirrorball and what happens when the mirrorball finally has had enough of shattering in a million pieces and performing for a largely uncaring crowd.

... which is why i don't like the asylum lyric. to me, it doesn't add in anything significant thematically when the rest of the song hardly has similar strains of discussion. not to mention the ableist overtones and trivialisation of the asylum experience but i just don't like this lyric. it weakens the premise of the song.

the production is also off in some places, it feels muted and underwhelming compared to the premise of the song.

it's an okay song, i 100% like the acoustic demo better that she came out with recently. some changes in production and the omission of that asylum lyric would put it higher up for me.

i can fix him (no really i can)

good thing this song is short because she couldn't fix him at all and i don't like this song.

"the jokes that he told across the bar were revolting and far too loud" euphemism for bigoted, taylor?

production is boring, the melody is also pretty boring. the lyrics are good, but not enough to save the song, in my humble opinion (it is after all my review here)

"good boy, that's right" taylor GET UP

the 'woah maybe i can't' is funny though, i'll give her that

loml

slayed, devoured, left no crumbs, left me emotionally devastated

the lyricism is absolutely beautiful, the sadness is tangible

the first time i listened to this, i was on the train, and i was so emotional, it was the perfect music to stare out the window to.

the impressionist painting line is also absolutely brilliant, took me out when i heard it. one of the best lyrics on the album.

the bridge and outro are the reasons i need therapy, destroyed me

loss of my life theorists won but at what cost.

i think some of taylor's simplest songs melodically have some of the most beautiful prose and emotional connection, i think she needs to tap into that more.

10/10 no notes.

i can do it with a broken heart

extreme whiplash hearing this after loml. similar whiplash to what taylor felt, i think, going on tour after such a heartbreak

someone pointed out that the almost metronomic beat and the faint counting in the background is like what taylor hears in her in-ear monitor on tour and i think that's really cool.

obsessed with this song so much

it has been stuck in my head since i first heard it

i never expected this to be the cuntiest song on the album but i am not disappointed at all.

"i cry a lot but i am so productive" is so mecore if i was actually productive

the ad libs at the end are also perfect

is it just me or can i hear crowd noises in the background?? am i imagining this??

i'm afraid the fandom is gravely misunderstanding this song. some are saying that taylor hates us because we were "shouting 'more!' " when she was feeling like this. some are saying that she doesn't resent us at all and that this song absolves us completely. those are both two extremes and my interpretation lies somewhere in the middle. this is not a callout to fans but also some factions of the fandom were (or are) being assholes demanding reputation tv and double albums all the time. acknowledge the nuance.

10/10 obsessed, fave song after florida!!!

the smallest man who ever lived

this song is good.

bridge of all time, indeed, she went OFF

the verses feel a bit meh to me but i love the chorus.

"you didn't measure up in any measure of a man" HAHA TAYLOR IT TOOK ME A SECOND TO GET THE DOUBLE ENTENDRE

this song is indeed petty, but it also feels defeated to me? like taylor just sounds tired of it all and quite hurt, that's what i got from it.

i also love the performance of this song on the eras tour. she is marching with an army and they keep taking hits throughout the song, until she eventually falls at the end. something something "the great war" something something "fighting with only your army, frontlines, don't you ignore me", etc.

the alchemy

i feel a little let down by this song? because from the name, i assumed this song would be using the concept of alchemy being a medieval science of turning things into gold or finding a universal cure as a metaphor for a broken/dying relationship.

also i don't understand how this is meant to be a love song, sounds really sad to me? like almost defeatist in terms of how the relationship.

why am i being bombarded by football metaphors?

i mean, it sort of plays on the idea of alchemy being a sort of magical transformation, but to me, it just feels like a synonym for chemistry.

" 'cause the sign on your heart says it's still reserved for me" is a cute lyric though.

it's quite formulaic as a song and there's not much going on for me. anyway.

clara bow

i really enjoy the concept of this song being the torch of fame being passed onto different women, from clara bow to stevie nicks to taylor swift to whoever's next.

once again, it's quite simple melodically, but this is where she shines! the typewriter while she was writing this must have been on fire!!

i also love how it plays on the concept of being put onto a pedestal as a famous woman and how you're only appealing until people decide you're not

"it's hell on earth to be heavenly" is such a perfect lyric.

the namedrop of herself GAGGED me on first listen, i was amazed.

it's a perfect closer to the first half, putting everything into the perspective of her fame and passing the torch onto something else because society has decided out with old, in with the new.

the black dog

the thing about the location settings makes me so ill, he didn't even think to turn it off for her. they probably shared locations to make sure they could check up on each other, and it was still on. it is such a tiny thing but so devastating.

the buildup on "old habits die screaming" ohhhhh this is amazing

the best laid plans... hoax...

"i still miss the smoke" people are making parallels to daylight but my first thought was lavender haze, like missing the lavender haze, you know?

the priest lyric is so devastating if you think about the fact that taylor thought she'd be meeting a priest about this relationship for a different, happier reason...

obsessed with this song, it's so beautiful.

the quietness of the verses and the loudness of the chorus, i am genuinely entranced, it is cinema.

imgonnagetyouback

do not ask me to compare this song with olivia rodrigo's "get him back", they're both on different levels thematically and tonally even though they use the same double entendre.

what narcotics did she put in this bridge XD

so boppy, and sensual, i adore it

i remember going on a long search for the literary device that is present in "i hear the whispers in your eyes", decided it was antithesis with the help of my followers. not at all relevant, but wanted to add it.

the albatross

i can make a lot of parallels to peace with this song.

it's so eery and mythical, i love it, treats taylor like a fable, an urban legend.

aaron dessner is a fucking legend, i am loving the production on the anthology

my folkmore girlie self is loving the anthology for real

i love the bait and switch to "fake news", exposing these rumours for simply that, and saying that she's not the dangerous one, the "jackals rais[ing] their hackles" are.

i am always a sucker for when taylor changes from third person to first person narration, it's so important to me. bait-and-switch, you are everything to me.

10/10 no notes.

chloe or sam or sophia or marcus

heartbreakingly beautiful. just a general melancholy around the breaking down of a relationship and is so so perfect.

the hologram lyric is not about cheating at all. the relationship is long gone, this is taylor envisioning her muse in a new relationship but she isn't there, hence the hologram. i've seen some people say it was about cheating, that interpretation doesn't make sense to me.

"you turned me into an idea of sorts" -> "the idea you had of me, who was she?"

random thought, but the lyricism on the anthology is so much better and natural as compared to the first half. i enjoy the bops on the first half but it also suffers from trying too much to be poetic (i think i said this about the title track especially). there are so many overloaded lyrical runs and random references that leave me confused and overwhelmed. the anthology however feels so much more quintessentially taylor.

don't have much to say on the song itself, i quite like it.

how did it end?

the intro literally makes me ascend!!

i really love how this song investigates and criticises the inherent curiosity people have around big news like a breakup, constantly probing for details.

once again, the simpler songs contain the best lyricism and melodies!!

this song both explains and expresses confusion about the end of the relationship, so i love the paradoxical nature of that.

"we learn the right steps to different dances" is such a devastating line and i think sums up the end of many relationships so succinctly.

the second chorus is giving right where you left me: "did you ever hear about the girl who got frozen?" etc.

THE BRIDGE, TAYLOR HOW DO YOU DO IT

the d-y-i-n-g part is just so devastating. taylor uses the themes of death and haunting so well on this album.

i know i've said this like 10 times, but this is just so so beautiful.

so high school

the guitar in the background is giving hits different, it hits different when it's you!!

despite the happy tone and lyrics, i do feel the sad, anxious undertone, the key example being the marry, kiss, or kill me part (the echoed "kill me", "it's just a game but really")

the aristotle and grand theft auto line has been used countlessly to shit on taylor's songwriting, and personally, i don't like this line. just doesn't hit right for me. however, i think it's unfair to pick cringe lyrics and ignore all the beautiful, meaningful ones to shit on taylor.

i do love the imagery with high school games like truth or dare and spin the bottle, really cements the "so high school" of it all.

this song is okay to me, it feels too american for me to enjoy it more lmao.

i hate it here

i love the poet and finance guy line at the beginning, it expresses a sort of desperation to get to know this person, to uncover their insecurities, deepest secrets, and love them anyway. it may also be introspective of taylor herself, idk.

calling comfort a construct is so quietly sad. convincing yourself since you've never had it, it can't be real because it's better than being cursed or doomed to never have it (see the prophecy)

this song is so escapist, but also so cynical about the escapism, it clearly isn't a preferred option, like it's not just escaping into childhood and nostalgia for the sake of it, it's because the real world fucking sucks.

the chorus slays, and is quite relatable.

the use of the word "precocious" is so interesting to me. she used it also in "but daddy i love him" if i remember correctly. like she resonates a lot with the feeling of being stunted in childhood or having seemed to never grow up -> "i have this thing where i get older but just never wiser" -> "i never grew up, it's getting so old" -> "i hit my peak at seven", idk i find it an interesting recurring theme in taylor's discography.

the 1830s line, and just that entire first half of the verse. i know why it's there, i know what it's doing, i know it's not meant to be taken seriously. still i don't like it. it also feels weird that she is calling out racism as a staple of the 1830s or whatever when she has shown us she is perfectly fine with dating a racist. you can say i'm being overdramatic. you can say i don't get it. idc. i try to ignore this part because this is a very good song and i love its themes and production.

"nostalgia is a mind's trick" i really love this because the entire song is so nostalgic for childhood and escapism but then she's like "actually nostalgia sucks" or it's not what it seems. no, the past would not have been better.

production feels like seven. themes quite different however (thematically, it would be robin, i think.)

the bridge combats the cynicism of the second verse which is so interesting to me. i love how opposing views on nostalgia and escapism are presented, the nuance is there.

the bridge is so mecore, i feel it in my bones.

thanK you aIMee

i really enjoy the small town as a microcosm for the giant music industry and reducing kim to a bully in this analogy.

this song is so cathartic for me, i really enjoy it in the lens of a friendship breakup.

she's so funny in this song "and so i changed your name and any real defining clues" while clearly spelling out her name in the song title.

the bridge fucking slays, likely thing for taylor to do.

it's such a breath of fresh air to have such a cathartic moment in an album that's largely dealing with huge emotions in huge ways, it's so interesting here as an addition to the anthology.

i look in people's windows

it's such a beautiful song and it's criminal how short it is

her voice sounds heavenly, i love how breathy it is.

it's giving "the outside" which is why i love it so much, i think

i think this not only works as a song grieving the end of a relationship but expressing the feeling of being left out in a current one; i definitely relate to it in that sense.

"does it feel alright not to know me?" is so so heartwrenching, i cannot do this

the prophecy

i am a sucker for mythology references so i'm already drawn in with the title.

once again, the song itself sounds so beautiful.

"i got cursed like eve got bitten" except she didn't get bitten?? the curse came after she ate the forbidden fruit?? i'm a bit confused here

WAIT NVM IT'S THE FACT THAT SHE DIDN'T GET BITTEN THAT'S THE WHOLE POINT OF THE SIMILE, HEAR ME OUT

saying something so factually incorrect and comparing it to her own experience implies that the latter is ALSO incorrect. she didn't "get cursed", she cursed herself!! which also defies the notion of "the prophecy", ohhhhhh i find this so interesting.

i think the notion of "a greater woman" or "a lesser woman" speaks to the expectations placed around women in relationships, they mustn't appear too desperate for love because that's undesirable but if they are nonchalant, they are also undesirable, it is worth exploring in terms of this song.

this song is so so sad and sadly so so relatable, i definitely find some comfort and resonance in this and it makes me really sad :(

i love the references to mythology and folklore made here, "the pricked hand" very obviously referencing sleeping beauty.

i always love it when taylor repeats the first verse at the end of a song, i think it speaks to the cyclical, circular nature of this specific feeling, that no matter how much she begs and pleads, "the prophecy" will never change.

cassandra

another mythology reference!!!

this being after "the prophecy" is so so deliberate, godssss

the piano is giving "mad woman", which i think is so fitting

"so they killed cassandra first 'cause she feared the worst" that's not actually why cassandra was killed in mythology but go off queen

"they say what doesn't kill you makes you aware" is an unreal run

that being said, i love it when taylor takes common sayings and aphorisms and gives them a twist. she does it a lot in this album, one of my favourite examples being "old habits die screaming" as a twist on "old habits die hard"

"blood's thick but nothin' like a payroll" i am hooked completely oml

10/10 no notes

peter

more folklore references, let's go!!!!

this song is so hauntingly beautiful, the lyricism is so poetic and flows perfectly, genuinely this is what i love about taylor

as a folklore girlie, i am WINNING with the anthology

i can't get over the "jet stream" line here vs "jet stream" in "call it what you want" 🫠

once again, a bridge that fucking slays, how does she keep doing it

it's so interesting how taylor grapples with the concept of childhood and precociousness in this album with so many mentions and callbacks to childhood and feeling stunted as a child and now, it really is an ode to "you're stuck at the age you became famous" (which is sad in many aspects but also problematic in others)

the chorus is also just so perfect, everything about this song is perfect.

the bolter

obsessed does not even cover it

what a banger start to a song

the chorus reminds me a lot of "illicit affairs", i think, interesting connections can be made there

"as she was leaving, it felt like breathing" as in a sigh of relief that it's over, but also she does it so often it is quite literally as quotidian and simple as "breathing"

i love taylor's tendencies to make songs in the third person narrative voice, i think her best storytelling comes out like this.

"there's escape in escaping"- i think this is sort of a commentary on how the identity of "the bolter" is like a coping/defense mechanism to ensure that she doesn't get hurt in a relationship, in that there is an escape from her insecurities, her worries, and the eminent pain she will face in the relationship by quite literally escaping.

but there's also often the bait and switch ("then it was bought by me", "i'm the albatross, i swept in at the rescue") but i find it so interesting that this song does not do that, if only i can make a meaningful analysis there, but my running theory is that she deliberately chooses to distance herself from the identity of "the bolter", bc while she does dote on this character and is rather affectionate in how she tells the story, she doesn't feel like attaching herself to it, in that maybe it's an identity she no longer wants to hold or that, like she frequently says, she doesn't believe these songs or stories are about her anymore and that they take on new meaning..

anyway i am loving this song, 10/10

robin

WHY IS NO ONE TALKING ABOUT THIS SONG, IT'S SO BEAUTIFUL

it's so sweet how she is consoling the child, ensuring them that they should enjoy this time they have now, and that they will be kept safe from their future.

but it's so sad in that regard, like, "we don't wanna hurt you so we're not telling you how this will pan out to protect your childhood innocence".

this once again cements my preoccupation with taylor's discussions around childhood and youth, she mentions frequently how that was taken away from her too soon and how she has felt "precocious" because of it. it's so important to understand and this song should NOT be overlooked.

i really like it.

the manuscript

this song is so heartbreaking, i want to punch the wall

i never thought about the fact how doing the atw short film would have rekindled these old memories and feelings, and this song is surely a direct result of that. not surprising, in hindsight, but it still compelled me when i first heard it.

once again, youth being taken too soon!! precociousness!!

someone needs to take the word "precocious" away from me

"but the story isn't mine anymore" HHHHHHHHH THIS IS THE WHOLE POINT

very nice song, beautiful closer to the anthology and the entire album as a whole, "these stories used to be about me but now they're about you".

overall thoughts

i hate to say it, but i think this album is in a desperate need of editing; there's so much going on, most of which is compelling and worth exploring, but everything is disjunct with each other and i know this work is meant to feel messy, don't start with me there, but it shouldn't be messy to the point where it's confusing and overwhelming. there are so many concepts and metaphors that are so intriguing and clearly important in taylor's music but the final products of those become half-baked in mediocre production or mixing. this album feels rushed and is soaked with questionable decisions. for example, i think "i can do it with a broken heart" should have been a single and title track because i think it's such a central part of her experiences recently and clearly something permeating the rest of this collection, and how she learns to move on and cope in light of heartbreak. there are several moments where the lyricism of the album feels overwhelming and overcompensating, as in trying too hard to contain meaning. the best lyrical moments on this album are seamless and subtle, and very prosodic as well. taylor tried to deviate from that formula quite a bit and it didn't always work out for the best in this album. she is not as adept at throwing in conversational lyrics as her peers, her strength is in prose and storytelling. the production is also getting a bit old, it's very sonically cohesive, almost to the point of it being boring, and i think taylor needs to get a bit more experimental sonically, and also ensure that the melody and production work together in more different ways, and that maybe the melody is not relying on the production but vice versa. the album is certainly not all lows, but the lows are particularly lower than in other instances of her discography.

that being said, the highs on this album are absolutely breathtaking. the majority of the anthology and quite a few songs on this album captured me instantly. this album is quite mellow, and could have benefitted from another bop or two, but the ones we received were astounding!! this album also had some really strong lyricism, especially in the anthology, and it was so intriguing seeing the many metaphors and situations she used to express her feelings. her storytelling in particular really shone in this album in songs like "the albatross", "the bolter", "clara bow", "cassandra", "the manuscript" among others. i love the themes and ideas that taylor explored in this album, and overall the premises really compelled me.

in terms of rankings, i've separated the two halves. the first half (ttpd) is second-last and the second half (the anthology) is 8th out of 12 (not 11 because ttpd is split in two).

if you've read this far, congratulations, have a treat of your choice. please be mindful and respect my opinion, thanks!

#diya's musings #ts #ttpd review #ttpd #fave

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buttfrovski · 11 months

Note

Hand over the headcannon list(s)

do your best to vibe read cuz i don't have specific labels in mind and my analyses were too long

stan - i don't know. he doesn't know. he won't ever know.

kyle - teen/young adult kyle with a girl? fs! so cute! pcov kyle with a girl? be serious...

cartman - BEEEEEEEE SERIOUSSSSSS!!! outside of the dressing up in drag- can we talk about dressing up like britney spears and making out with a justin timberlake cutout? in his own time? in the privacy of his backyard? can we talk about tweek x craig? bro was yanking it to a homoerotic fantasy of him and ... cupid him... his mom even saw and got the impression he was gay. his own hallucination wanted to "be like tweek and craig." bro is secretly into yaoi of them. i don't SHIP them but i thought the thing with wendy was sweet. like how he tried to make her laugh. although cartman was purposely ooc for a joke, i thought him and heidi and yentyl were cute. moreover, although his obsession with kyle and making kyle do things like suck his balls or ginger cow are more about power and humiliation than sexuality... dont u think it's weird that THATS his go to? nothing else? or his plot to ruin kyle's relationship with nicole was... pretend to be his boyfriend? it's effective but? also guess who showed up pretty frequently in his little porn journal? i think people avoid acknowledging these aspects of his sexuality because they're perverted and gross rather than innocent and appropriate for a boy his age, which is understandable. joke/satire or not it's kinda disturbing. (esp the tweek x craig scene is hard to watch) but it is still strong evidence. his gender and sexuality are everything, everywhere, all at once. i hope the jury can make the right decision on this. i rest my case.

kenny: i think if my life started over everyday i would be doing fuck all as well.

butters: bikecurious 😊

#south park #eric cartman #kyle broflovski #stan marsh #butters stotch #kenny mccormick #even my parents and the dude bros on reddit clocked cartman

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queenofbaws · 4 months

Note

Hey Queenie, I wanted to leave another comment on your page again (this probably won’t the last hehehe I hope you don’t mind!) because I completely forgot to mention that in your The Almosts series, I loved the argument scene with Chris and Josh in their dorm room when Josh drops out of his course - it shows the true skill of a writer because I don’t think any cutscene of a video game or a TV show or a movie of this scene could ever capture what you wrote. I loved that there was so much angst and tension and you write angst so well. When I read that I was literally sitting at the edge of my seat because the scene was so tense and I was so excited to see how the rest of the scene would pan out. Even before the events of the main game, I loved how all of the characters were so fleshed out and I was going to say you made them three dimensional interesting characters, but I think you went beyond the three dimensions hahahaha! I love how you made all the characters grey characters, like you wrote Ashley as feeling very guilty for her actions but also so angry at Josh for acting this way, I thought that was so interesting! And I found myself legitimately feeling scared at times based on the way Josh was acting, you captured grief spectacularly! You wrote Josh so realistically in terms of his mental health - at times he would be goofing off and having a blast with the others, but then he would get so angry at times and try to lash out at his friends and sort of provoke them and deliberately try to make them angry? You portray mental health so realistically, and you show the ugly sides of it and I think that is so interesting, you even gave Josh a rationale for designing his elaborate revenge scheme but you also showed us how it did not make sense at the same time. I loved how you seamlessly added traces of Josh’s mental health throughout the game, and you could really see the way his relationship had become strained with the others. I can tell you really analysed and researched the game and wrote accordingly to that even the way you wrote the others was so spot on like them being conflicted and not knowing whether to feel upset with the way Josh was acting due to his grief. I loved the therapist analogy with the princess, prince, father and the bull, that was so smart, my jaw literally dropped because that was such a smart literary device (maybe because I’m a psychology major but I loved that)! Thank you again for writing this I’m definitely going to reread this book ❤️❤️

🥲

oh man, i don't even know what to say - you've got me all emotional over here!!!!!!!

i'll let you in on a (not-so-secret) secret: i, too, was a psych major once...and then a straight-up psychologist for a minute afterwards, so the desire to DIG DEEP into characters is just sort of a curse i live with. every day. constantly. all the time. hheheheheheheheh

honestly, when i set out to write t(a), wanting to portray josh's side of the story in a more realistic way was at the tip, tip, tippy-top of my list of things i wanted to accomplish. i think a lot of people, myself included, who played the game were left with sort of a bad taste in our mouths regarding how his whole deal was handled, so i really tried to walk the tightrope between "josh washington deserved better" and "this was always going to be a fucking tragedy and things were always going to hurt."

thank you so much for your KIND AND WONDERFUL words, and thank you too for taking the time to read my stuff!!! i am genuinely teary-eyed rn and i've only just finished breakfast, so i can only IMAGINE what the rest of the day will be like, hahaha!!

#galaxyrainbowcat #asks #the almosts #mannnn im just gonna lie down and make high pitched keening noises for a while hehehehehehe #and omg i WISH i could claim the bull/princess/prince/king game for myself but alas #it was a little puzzle in silent hill: shattered memories that i plucked for my own use sdklfjsklf early on when i was writing t(a)#and i mean EARLY ON!!!! i had this dumb little idea that i'd drop hints alan was friends w the therapist IN the silent hill games skldfjks #that fell by the wayside but the device remained. :P there's actually a pretty funny game grumps clip out there somewhere where they play i #if i remember correctly #GOD it's been a million years since ive watched a game grump askdljflaksdjfkasjdf #ANYWAY. THIS MADE ME SMILE VERY MUCH. thank you again 🥹

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onehundredandeleventropicalfish · 2 years

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Hello, I'm quite a big fan of your blog and your sandman posts. I had a little question for you. According to the comics, more than half of Dream's relationships never work out because of communication on Dream's part, right. So well do you think it's because he does not realise that some things need to be said out loud like because of dream logic where things go straight from A to B, so it would make sense he follows the same logic? Sorry if I am not making much sense.

hello, and thank you!

well, for starters, i have a feeling you're here from the adhd post, but in case you're not or other people are reading this who haven't seen it, i talked about one aspect of this already

but do you have a specific source on the communication line? i am entirely willing to believe it, but i don't have a perfect memory of every single comic and i don't remember that in particular, so i'm curious if there's further analysis to this that i missed

that said, i can absolutely analyse just dream's communication problems in general, because there's a lot in there

1) pride/ego/defensiveness. as much as dream cares about everyone, he is an extremely prideful being, and therefore easy to offend. if something strikes a nerve, he's not really the type to talk it out, his reactions tend to be more... dramatic. our extremes are cases like nada, or calliope (who he essentially locked out of the dreaming for several millenia after she blamed him for what happened with orpheus), but like. we saw how the 1889 hob scene went down. and as much as he's quick to advise anyone else that revenge is a poison, he's a big fan of taking it himself (or on behalf of others, see: not letting the madoc thing go). dream, just in general, never lets shit go, he doesn't know how to. which is gonna be A Problem in a relationship if you have to avoid stepping on his ego for the sake of your own wellbeing

2) he knows everyone. like, i think a lot about the library of dreams. the show just describes it as every book ever written (including books yet unwritten), but it's more than that. nightmare country in particular goes into this, it's a repository of every story ever told in anyone's subconscious. so yes, those are the books and compositions and other artworks that were planned but never finished - but it's also that daydream you had in the car home, something you thought idly in the shower, the book you planned in your head before falling asleep that you never intended to turn into anything real. a couple people in the fandom have already used this as a fic concept of hob writing unsent letters to dream, which will end up in the library. and sure, dream isn't thinking of all of that all the time, that would drive you insane, it's why he has the library, to organise it. but he is the dreaming, the entire place is just an extension of his mind, if it's in the library it's in his head and accessible

and like, he may not mean anything by it, he may even attempt not to look at that stuff with a partner out of respect for them (i've seen a couple fics take that path), but so much of how humans communicate is based on the fact that we can't mind read, we choose the information we give to one another, and most of those subconscious stories are private. not to dream. as soon as you think it, it's in his head. and no matter how good his intentions, that's gonna fuck with the usual rules of communication

2.5) this does feed into what you were saying - when the rules are all fucked up and dream has access to so much information about any potential partner, it's probably easy to forget they can't do the same. and yeah, his thoughts do skip around a lot, he is a dream, he may not realise how many vital communication steps he's skipping over until it's pointed out to him

3) he overthinks everything. this may seem like it's contradicting the previous points, but no they just compound into a huge bad communication bubble

there's one i think it's a tom interview, i don't know if it was about ep 11, i just remember someone posting a quote from it on a gifset with calliope, where he talks about the purposeful way dream talks, there's no ums or similar, because he's the prince of stories, he has every word and phrase ever thought or spoken or written down in his head all of the time, there's no hesitation in his phrasing. i think the phrase used was "etched in stone". while dream may not always realise certain things need saying, when it comes to the things he does choose to say, he is extremely deliberate in his word choice. there's no mistakes, he means what he says (even if he may later regret saying it)

and i think that's another piece of this, because for most people conversation is just a game of improv they've gotten really good at, they may mangle words or say things they didn't mean. and if dream takes them at their word, then we're back to problem 1 of him taking things extremely personally and never being able to let it go

(and then there's all the other reasons his relationships rarely work out, like him being extremely committed to his work, he can't be what a lot of his partners might want him to be, because he considers himself dream of the endless first and foremost and a person second)

(and his relationships are kinda the biggest representation of that inner struggle, because like. he keeps dating people despite the fact that it never works out because he doesn't want to do this alone, to the point that his mother, who didn't even know their brother had left, called him out for it. but then at the same time he literally says to destiny that the word 'life' does not describe the existence of the endless, they exist to fulfil their purpose, not to want anything for themselves. which, is wrong, but it's an extremely strong belief of his)

(so it is just a constant snowball of trying but self sabotaging)

#sorry it took me so long to get back to this it took a bit to actually collate my thoughts #dream is - as issue 21 literally states out loud - a conundrum #dream of the endless #ask #mine #meta #the sandman

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theflyindutchwoman · 1 year

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Love reading your Anatomy of scenes and responses to questions. Thank you for those and your photo sets, I'm so appreciative for you and anyone else giving new content! Have you ever talked about Tim's reaction to the five player trade and the resolution between Tim and Lucy on the issue? Might be an unpopular opinion, but I get Tim's reaction and think he had the right to be upset. I did also love Lucy acknowledging Tim's feelings, but saying she was sorry, not sorry (and Tim's little smile, he's so gone for her!).

First of all, thank you so much for taking the time to read my analyses - and sending me this. If my little ramblings and photo sets help make this hiatus more tolerable for you, then my job is done. ღ

To answer your question : no, I haven't written about it yet - only the second part of the scene, when Tim gives Lucy his Valentine's Day present. I mean, I may have commented about it here and there, just not a full-on post, sorry. To be honest, I have some mixed feelings about this storyline so that's why I have been avoiding it for the moment. I haven't rewatched season 5 though (only a couple of episodes), so I'm hoping that once I get to it, it might inspire me more.

Tim's feelings were valid, I agree with you… Personally, I didn't mind that he was upset at first. My issue is that we didn't really explore what these feelings were. They barely got the chance to talk about it in the shop or in his office. That last scene implied that it was because Lucy went behind his back, which I found fair. Except he pretty much did the same thing : when he went to see Grey to move out of her chain of command, he didn't discuss it with her first. He only informed her once it was a done deal. Granted, he confessed immediately, instead of hiding it like she did - although she would have found out the next day regardless. But she didn't get upset with him. She actually appreciated what he did. We didn't get to see this from him and that's the part that has been missing, at least for me. I guess I saw her gesture as a nice departure from Rachel, who wanted him to start over in New-York and Ashley, who was trying to convince him to retire. And here was Lucy, who not only was ready to move to another station so he could stay in patrol, but also tried to create an opening for him, so he could get a job that he would find just as rewarding. He was finally with someone who was fighting for him. Someone who has always fought for him. I suppose, I wanted to see that acknowledged. A bit like how Tim recognised how she helped him for the sergeant's exam. In the end, this just felt a bit too contrived, you know what I mean? It stayed superficial, like the writers wanted a conflict, but didn't have time to delve into it.

That said, I absolutely loved that she stood her ground, explained why she did it while acknowledging his feelings as well. And his little smile too - he's so far gone, you're absolutely right. Even the way he was quick to forgive and forget was sweet. I just needed more substance. Hence my mixed feelings on the matter. But that's just my perspective of course :) It also doesn't help that the last time the five-player trade was mentionned, it was to suggest that Lucy might lose her chance of promotion for this… So that may have soured me on the whole plot. I definitely need to rewatch the episode, with a set of fresh eyes. This is why I love these little discussions!

#ask & ye shall receive #the rookie #chenford

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dropthedemiurge · 1 year

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Look at me being a Boston defender

I changed my stance on this character 2 episodes ago when I got to understand him better – and oof, this episode I wanted to run someone over with a car (Atom, walk carefully on the street)

But also I'm once again is fascinated by how much Only Friends love using parallels! This show just LOVES putting characters in the similar scenes or use same composition/camerawork but COMPLETELY flipping the narrative. And I felt it very strong today.

Atom being a little unsatisfied dramatic shit (no offence to Title but he acts annoying guys very well), lies to his sister about what happened between him and Boston, and of course Cheum reacts firsts and analyses maybe never. And of course, Ray and Mew give her full support as they just made up as friends, now their group is back and everyone else is kicked out.

All of them just took the information they were given by one very lying side and ran with it like they are used to feeling oh so superior and though i kinda dislike mew and cheum, i still have positive feelings about all of them, but at that moment I thought omg guys fuck you maybe

And I was surprised by a strong reaction I was having and the very righteous desire to protect Boston and prove them wrong! Then I realized something. It's interesting, because we had almost the same scene in the hostel.

We started from the Friends POV and we saw Boston intruding on a safe/home place where Ray, Mew and Cheum chilled. And we knew Boston was in the wrong there and did some shit so it was so satisfying to watch him be almost annihilated and drowned, the hurt feeling from everyone translated very well to a viewer.

And then we have the scene in Boston's home during him doing thing he loves aka taking photos (even not nude), where the Friends are now intruding without care.

And everything is the same. Boston did a shitty thing sleeping with a person close to one of his friends, Mew, Cheum and Ray have each other's backs and yell at Boston, same vindication atmosphere – BUT it made a complete 180 turn.

Because it's clear how we shifted POV to Boston, and we know his backstory, we know what actually happened and we've already been in his mind for quite some time so we understand him. That he just has a different frame for relationships and sexual activities and he doesn't understand how to navigate communication correctly, but he always tells the truth and this time he did it too.

Only no one believes him! Because his "friends" operate on all their previous reactions and knowledge of Boston. Of course, they would believe a poor little brother of Cheum, of course evil Boston tricked him and threatened him into sleeping with him.

Boston always told his side of the story but no one ever believed him or didn't want to understand him, and that's what makes you so frustrated and angry with them. They keep blaming each other without trying to understand (Cheum, I am SO looking at you and your double standards and oblivious perception) and they keep scolding him because they feel morally superior (Mew, I really don't like the new you and you probably always been like this but storytelling hid it from us and ugh).

I'm kinda not sure about Ray because at first he obviously protected Mew didn't expand the fighting, and here he's closed off and... looks conflicted? His only scolding was about "it's your friend's brother!" and that might be headcanon but we know Ray had to spent quite a lot of time with Boston before, and he's not a saint himself, I feel like if it was just two of them, Boston could even explain himself properly and change Ray's opinion. But definitely not when all friends ganged up on him and didn't believe ANY of his words. They weren't even ready to listen, they just came there to accuse.

I don't know, I'm ready to fight for Boston, dude isn't always pleasant but he needs someone to listen to him and tell him he's a worth being, because he already hides and cuts off his dreams and things he wants in life and his feelings too, and all his coping mechanisms are shitty and he gets blamed and hated for anything he does, even though he doesn't know any better or he gets blackmailed and defamed.

Of course he looks in shambles and on the verge of breaking down and seeks Nick out because at least someone is reckless enough and has a big heart to love him no matter what.

BUT I WAS TALKING ABOUT THE PARALLELS! Only Friends make so many parallels and each one of them is so delightful and fascinating! This show is so complicated and good.

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nifilmgirly · 4 months

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My First Film Job😊

Welcome to my first post...Its all a bit cringe, but as I'm currently unemployed again I thought I would speak about how I got to where I am now.

Starting way back at the beginning, my A-Levels, which were four years ago now... crazy... I studied Performance Art, Moving Image Arts, Politics and Government and finally History. I have always been very interested in film and was massively influenced in my taste by my dad. A staple of my childhood was watching movies with my dad, which at times was questionable, see examples such as; watching Forest Gump aged eleven and not understanding any cultural references, watching pulp fiction and that.... scene and also getting far too much enjoyment out of a good shitty apocalypse sci-fi.

Truly my fascination started when I was studying for my Moving Image Arts A-Level. This was a film studies subject and to go beyond the level of active viewer to being given the tools to analyse and think more deeply about how and why these movies were created was revelatory [pardon the dramatics]. I found myself unable to watch media anymore without thinking about the techniques that were used, why they were used and how they made me or were supposed to make me feel. I think this was the first time i considered genuinely pursuing a career in film and performance. Whilst it was always something I was passionate about I thought I had to study something more ''serious'' or attainable, which now I can look back at and laugh. People will always tell you that you won't be good enough, whether that be your peers or your careers advisor, but if you're passionate then I would say go for it... I did.

Time jump now, I went to University of Bristol to study theatre and film. Firstly, moving to England during the covid era was a... choice. I wouldn't change it for the world now but that is not to say that it wasn't extremely difficult. I thoroughly enjoyed my three years of study[and working my ass of in a pub to pay my rent] but have since moved back to Northern Ireland. The industry here is thriving and more and more projects are popping up all over the place.

Which brings me to... MY FIRST FILM JOB. I managed to wrangle my way on to the set of How To Train Your Dragon live action, which was being shot in Belfast.[ Shooting has since wrapped]. Look, trying to get into this industry is all about who you know... and I don't know anyone, therefore some serious grafting was in order. The level of stalking I did here is slightly psycho, however it paid off, so, we can ignore the unhingedness.

I loveeee the HTTYD series and because of this follow the director, Dean on instagram. He posted about shooting in Belfast and I took notice, the way I was scouring the internet for job postings about this project was obsessive. I knew where they were shooting and that it was starting in January but not much else. I half considered just appearing on the set and asking if I could help them out for free. However, through reddit posts and a fortunate coincidence of a sister of a friends flat mates uncle [girl...] working on the building the set, I finally found a job opening for a [drumroll] barista. So, not exactly what i wanted to do but with about 5 years of hospitality experience behind me I thought, fuck it, a wins a win.

So, I was in, I worked on this set from the start of January until they wrapped last week. I can not speak highly enough of my time on the catering side of film production. It has given me a real insight as to how a set works and just how many cogs are turning to make it work. This crew were some of the most lovely people I have ever worked with and from watching the way the set works it has definitely cemented to me that I want to work in this world. Through this experience I have met numerous new people involved in production and learnt about what exactly it is that they do.[yay for organic nepotism win]. I have also heard insights to what is being filmed and possible job leads near me. I would highly recommend that if you're trying to break into this world [which admittedly is cliquey] getting in via catering. It is an amazing starting point as an entry level role.

#film production #film jobs #production #how to train your dragon #entry level film #production assistant #locations assistant #film blog #movies #tv production #httyd #hiccup

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langernameohnebedeutung · 2 years

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Your tags about gone girl are so TRUE and good!!! Marta from knives out was proven again and again to be the MOST selfless and kind nurse that family ever met!! Marta is so good she LITERALLY can’t lie bc she will LITERALLY vomit from the anxiety it causes her. Like all she really did at the end was expose a greedy selfish family from abusing her kindness any further just bc she’s in a lower tax bracket than them. She kept the money that was GIVEN to her by a man who saw that it should be rewarded. Like even the ending of knives out explicitly explains that Marta is such a good and experienced nurse that she didn’t commit any crime!! Who made that image!? I just wanna talk!! 😤😤😤

Absolutely!

the thing is, I can/could try to analyse or armchair-deduce what the intent of this person was (maybe they didn't even watch Knives Out and just saw that scene with the cup at the end and decided she was some evil homewrecker girlboss?) but in the end, I can't really say what the logic is.

The fact that they chose that photo makes me believe that if they had an actual reason, it was simply that the film ends with a young woman coming out on top and, you know, actually keeping it what she earned. I personally believe that there is a certain anxiety in our culture about female success that manifests in stories where women escape their social status on their own merit. The whole Hallmark-film cliché isn't just reserved for Hallmark films - we encounter it in a lot of works, like The Devil Wears Prada and other romantic comedies, where a woman being ambitious is treated as her being cold or neglectful or selfish - and giving up all of that is the "right answer" - another really big example would be 13 Going on 30. The basic narrative a lot of these films have (many of them not so directly or crude or not as their primary focus) is that a woman chasing a career is either cold, evil, manipulative - or she's secretly unhappy and denying an aspect of herself. Another huge historic example is the "femme fatale" - born out of the anxiety of men about women taking up careers during the war, being successful, and not returning to their assigned domestic sphere all that easily.

And I'm not saying that stories about big careers being unsatisfying or career-oriented women being selfish are inherently bad or sexist - there are also many stories like that about men (but also a lot of stories where male ambition or innovativeness is seen as a good thing) - but as I said, I think there is a tendency to demonise this in female characters with very little effort to actually show why it's a bad thing - or associating viciousness, selfishness, and arrogance with success to an over-the-top, lazy degree.

So what our meme-artist might have mis-deduced for some incomprehensible, no-reading-comprehension reason: Woman in big house looking down at others holding a mug that say "my house, my rules"? = EVIL!

But that's not the kind of story that Knives Out is telling. The whole point is that Martha acted correctly and that she was a good nurse who cared about her patient - and that her patient recognised and appreciated that. And that the family was duplicitous and arrogant and looked down on Martha.

In a way, Knives Out has one of the oldest "moralities" in the world, the same you will find in a lot of old stories, fairy tales etc: Hard, diligent and honest work and decency and kindness being recognised and rewarded - and falsity, selflishness, and arrogance being recognised and - usually in a plot-twist at the end - punished (or at least, withhold the reward that the "bad" person felt sure they were going to receive on account of their false nicety or noble birth or their tricks or attempts at manipulation - and have it transferred to the person who actually put in the work and deserves it). It's straightforward. It's a tale as old as time. It's both a tale of hope and a form of social criticism. In fact, it's also something you will encounter in a lot of classic detective stories, which is what Knives Out pays hommage to.

(I also think there is a certain anxiety in mass media tropes about women actually recognising the power and invisiblity of the caretaker positions they find themselves in - and weaponising that marginalisation against society. A lot of female villains are presented as villainous or perverted caricatures of caretakers.

Nurses are even a very common example of that:

Think Annie Wilkes in Misery, a former nurse and a woman who takes care of sick and injured Paul Sheldon - except she abuses him and tortures him and forces him to rewrite his work while he is isolated and at her mercy. Think of Mildred Ratched. Or even just costumes that play with that invisiblity, like Elle Driver disguising herself in that stereotypical nurse outfit in Kill Bill when she's trying to poison the Bride in her sleep - only to be held back by Bill, who tells her that she's acting dishonourably.

Even in the picture this person posted, you have Cassie from Promising Young Woman (double-)disguised as a stripper dressed up as a nurse. The sexualisation of occupations of mostly female professions, the marginalisation of sex workers, and (on plot-level) the dichtonomy between the doctors at the bachelor party (who only became doctors because the rape of Nina was brushed under the table) and Cassie (who dropped out to take care of Nina) all play into those scenes and the decision to dress her up as a nurse. Here, she does this on purpose. It's a way of calling these men out (men who likely work next to nurses every day). The guy she's after happily let's her cuff him to the bed because he barely notices her as a person - and is confused and horrified when the situation changes.

There seems to be some sort of horror element rooted in the idea (fear) of these jobs and this marginalisation actually giving a character power over someone - especially over a male character. (A similar thing happens in Gone Girl, where a lot of the trials/horror for Nick are rooted in realising that his wife has a whole secret life going on. He carted her off to Missouri, basically acts like she stops existing whenever he leaves the house. The big Horror is the realisation that she spent that invisible time schemeing against him and that her intimate knowledge of him gives her a whole lot of power over him that he underestimated - until she unleashes it. (characters like wives or staff having intimate knowledge is also something that is an element of worry and concern in a lot of stories and has been for a long time.))

But again, this isn't the case in Knives Out and it's not the story being told. There is nothing negative associated with Martha being a nurse - quite the contrary, it's basically an ode to the importance of her profession and the responsibility a nurse has for their patients and the knowledge and the split-second decisions that they need to make. Administering the right medicine is a literal life-or-death skill here and Martha recognising which one was the right medicine without even reading the label is an essential aspect of the story. Benoit telling her that she is a good nurse and she performed her duty admirably well and that she's absolutely free of guilt is a central aspect of her character being released from the duress she was under. It's an important moment. She needed to know that and it is a way of validating the value and honourability of her work. Knives Out doesn't associate anything particularly scary or horrifying with Martha being a nurse. It's a good thing!

Like. I mean. I talked for too long about a meme that simply doesn't make sense. But in short, there is no fucking reason for Martha to be in this picture and there is no reason to compare these characters to Amy Dunne whose character serves an entirely different purpose.

#cw rape mention

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tuiyla · 2 years

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cannot stop w the yellowjackets asks just one more 😭 what are your thoughts on jackie’s sexuality? do you think her relationship w jeff was comphet? i thought that her feelings on the act of losing her virginity were also interesting. it’s not really something she wants to do out of genuine desire, it’s merely a rite of passage she wants to essentially get over with. she doesn’t enjoy fooling around w jeff and doesn’t really seem to be all that into what goes down w travis. and then the most important relationship in her life by far being shauna and there being some interesting elements in that relationship and how she goes about it/treats her.

Love the Yellowjackets asks ❤

That's super interesting and not something I've thought about much before. Not like I did a deep dive into the fandom but from what I can tell people mostly analyse from Shauna's perspective and her sexual identity. Ngl, when I saw that campfire scene in the first episode I did too. Shauna staring at Jackie and Jeff sure doesn't look like she's thinking about fucking Jeff. And I think it's more evident to look at Shauna because, well, she's still alive and actively a character. But thinking about Jackie's short life and how she never got to be herself? God. The tragedy. And we all know I love a good comphet story.

All of what you say makes so much sense. God, I kind of just forgot her scene with Jeff in the first episode where she could not look more like she's not into it. And I'm sure at least part of the intention behind it was to show Jeff being a bad and clumsy boyfriend - quite the typical teenage by - but THEN the whole Travis thing. He's the only viable option for Jackie and she could not make it more obvious that it's not about him. It's not even about him being a guy but about playing into this heteronormative idea. You're right, Jackie views it as a rite of passage. She sleeps with Travis and it's like "well that happened. cool." Again, this is mostly just a realistic portrayal of the first time not being nearly as magical as it's built up to be and Jackie's circumstances aren't exactly the most romantic. They're stranded in the woods and a cult is forming, she doesn't care about Travis as a person and it's his first time, too, so it's not like he can amaze her with some hidden talent. It's... fine. The symbolism of it mattered so much more than the act itself.

To be fair, that's often how sex ends up being, particularly this ever-mythicized concept of virginity. But if we put the puzzle pieces together then we soon see that there's actually not much of Jackie's own desires in her sexual encounters. I don't have a way of tying them to this thought process coherently at the moment but I also want to mention two more puzzle pieces here. One, how Jackie almost taunts Shauna with virginity up until she finds out about the pregnancy. It's kinda fucked up and we love her for it because, the way I see it, Jackie is trying to elevate herself above Shauna by making it clear that she has Jeff back home and though they haven't had Sex™, hand and mouth stuff is more than what Jackie knows of Shauna's sexual history. (Also, what Jackie and Jeff do is sex, it's just not heteronormative society's idea of it but I digress.) So this tells us the importance she places on these outdated ideas regarding sex and it tells us that, in true Quinn Bee Quinn/Santana comphet queen Loez fashion, sex is but a tool to her.

The other piece, and I have less of a way to tie this to comphet, is Jackie dying within ~24 hours of losing her virginity. If I'm remembering correctly, that is. Because she and Travis sleep together, hell breaks lose, and Jackie sleeps outside the next night, right? Here she was, having been obsessed with the elusive status sex would grant her since the pilot. Trying to elevate herself through Jeff but feeling insecure about not having had Sex™ yet, her insistence that she would not die a virgin. Something that only really manifests once she finds out about the pregnancy and therefore Shauna having had sex, mind. These two are so obsessed with each other, I can't. And Jackie's infatuation with playing into heteronormative ideas is even present in her slut shaming of Nat. But like you say, it's never genuine desire we see from her. It's not that Jackie wants to take charge of her own sexuality and live a little before, well, you know. It's that she wants to conform so bad and so her approach to Jeff and then Travis becomes mechanical. This is what I'm supposed to do, but is this how it's supposed to feel? And I hazard to guess that the answer is no.

It's yet another super fascinating piece of the Jackie Taylor story. I'm not sure I'd definitively say it's comphet but that's certainly one reading of it, and a very valid one at that. Jackie is so deeply ingrained in these ideas of "proper" society and strictly adhering to society's rules gets her killed. Maybe there's a metaphor in there about embracing true desires and giving society the finger, who knows. But Jackie's story is complete the way it is, tragic fate and all. Well, that said I'm so hoping for more Jackie, through flashbacks and hauntings and we might even learn more about her inner world in upcoming seasons. I wouldn't want further exploring Jackie to take too much away from the already busy story of two timelines and many mysteries, but a girl can dream. I think there's so much more to be done with Jackie even if she's dead and gone in both timelines now. That's what girls who haunt the narrative are for!

I'll also just say that the reason why the Jackie and Shauna relationship works regardless of who thinks there was something romantic/sexual there and who doesn't is because it's so much more intricate and deep and unknowable than that. They're one of the best examples of teenage female friendships I've seen because it's so true to life, to have that deep bond that's lowkey fucked up and maybe psychosexual but just such a part of you. It really goes beyond the simple terminology fandoms usually use to describe their ships, and I know I sound pretentious but I just love it when a dynamic is more than "and they loved each other and we wanna see them get together." No! Jackie and Shauna will never be together but Jackie will never leave Shauna! Jackie's whole entire life will never not be encapsulated best through Shauna! They were best friends and they resented each other at times! It's the essence of two teenage girls being best friends. In extreme circumstances, obviously.

#FASCINATING #i want to study her like a bug #i know misty is that character for most of the fandom and i get that very valid #but i'd be happy just playing around in jackie's psyche #yellowjackets #yellowjackets asks #jackie taylor #shauna shipman #anon

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knackfandomarchive · 7 months

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could i ask for some lucas headcanons bc all of the ones you've posted so far are really cute lmao (he is my son)

Oh Bestie, you sweet-talker, you!

Umm... I'm so sorry; I had already talked about most of these before; I don't have much and only have like 15k words of prose across all my documents. I'm bringing these ideas up again mainly for context and in case some readers haven't seen them yet. This is sort of like an overview for the first segment of my story, and also some brief character analyses of certain scenes. I'm also not sure what would spoil my story or not.

I forgot how English works (and it's my only language).

Also this is depressing AF... I tried to put all the doom and gloom into this first part, so if anyone reading this wants to skip to the part that says, "I avoid giving Lucas any diagnosis..." then be my guest. It's. Half the post, tho.

And I'll post the art separately tomorrow, so people won't have to read the depressing stuff to see it.

With that, I can shakily point to a few foundational scenes I over-analyzed. Especially this one:

Where to start...

As we may recall in the first game, the Doctor complains to Ryder that it was easier to take care of Lucas when he was younger, and, "now he wants to know How and Why and debate everything. It's really quite trying at times."

This just sounds like puberty to me. Dad agreed; the Doctor probably received Lucas at a young, easy-to-please age and got used to that lifestyle. But as Lucas grew older, taking more independence, and forming his own opinions - normal development stuff - this resulted in conflict - the form of which I'm still unsure of.

So, I have Lucas lose his mom around eight years old. It's that vulnerable spot where he's old enough to remember her well, and young enough that he has little in the way of coping mechanisms. And while puberty is right around the corner, it gives the Doctor some time to know him before then.

Another thing to add, my Dad mentioned something Lucas said while reaching for his locket:

We're taking a literal approach to this. Not only is this device the last thing he has left of his mother, it's also the only thing he has left of his old life; all of his belongings had been destroyed or lost. We discussed possible causes, and I prefer something horrible and yet mundane. Not super newsworthy outside of his hometown. A fire, maybe?

Lucas needed a new home. And his father was never mentioned, which could mean anything (I haven't gotten around to that). In any case, they were not in the picture by this time. Next of kin would be Ryder or other family members.

We can recall Ryder in a later scene asking if Lucas wonders why the Doctor takes care of him, rather than Ryder doing so. Ryder explains his own unavailability as being very busy. I take this to mean two-fold: he was the only alternative when it came to raising Lucas, and it wasn't due to his capability to parent. So, if Lucas had other blood relatives, they never stepped up. Naturally, this results in Lucas feeling unwanted.

So many characters I need to get right... Lucas lost his mom, and Ryder lost his sister. Ryder may have thought himself and his life situation too unstable. Like he couldn't afford the responsibility on top of the grief and whatever else he had going on. Lucas stays with him for only as long as it takes to arrange a plan with the Doctor. I think Ryder might have some mental troubles of his own that would make raising a child difficult. But the Doctor isn't much better on that front.

Doctor Vargas seems to have had a lingering emotional wound since Charlotte disappeared, and based on vibes was likely a lonely, somewhat reserved man. But his living situation is the most stable, and he has kept it together for so long. And if he ever imagined having children, this would fill that need. So the arrangement - as my Dad suggested, and as I will have Ryder suggest - is a two birds, one stone kind of deal. The hope is that Doc and Lucas would help each other get better, and not worse.

Lucas is taken to the Doctor's Mansion, where Ryder will say goodbye. I have Ryder keep a stoic demeanor; he's trying to stay strong for Lucas. Even holding his breath to keep it from shuddering when they hug. But Lucas really could have benefitted from a more vulnerable moment with him, instead. Ryder is the one who gives Lucas the locket as a parting gift. Lucas begs him not to go, but Ryder can only say he's sorry.

I don't know the boy's educational situation exactly, but after that, his grades drop, he becomes more withdrawn, and his friends, if he has any, don't know how to help him. What are the chances they're mainly fair-weather friends, who go play with someone else when Lucas starts being a bummer? At least I haven't invented bullies to harass him on top of this. Actually, there's a chance that Lucas would be the bully, but I haven't decided.

Have I mentioned Lucas crying at night? He can just about gloomily keep it together during the day, but at night, when he's alone with his thoughts, he falls apart, and his crying soon wakes up the Doctor. Losing his mother and then feeling abandoned by his uncle and other relatives, it's a major blow to the self-esteem. And when his whole world is turned upside down in one fell swoop, it leaves him with a peculiar feeling.

Here is where I point out the next aspect:

Right here, this could have been the end of Lucas. And the Doctor can only watch him go. If I look at it from a more thematic view, Lucas's loss is so devastating to him that he'll clutch the memory of his mother and what he had before she died, at the expense of living himself.

So we have a semi-suicidal eight-year-old living with an older scientist and anyone else who lives in the same building. Scientists and their families from all over the world! I still don't know how the Doctor is going to take care of him. Lucas when he's older is grateful to the Doctor for taking him in, but doesn't seem to me to think of him as a father figure (but perhaps I just forgot something). And my grasp on the Doctor's character is extremely flimsy, despite him virtually being the protagonist of the first game.

I'm not sure how familiar Lucas is with Doctor Vargas. The boy's mom was a colleague, and Ryder trusts the Doctor a great deal, so at least they're not strangers. But Little Lucas might not have paid much attention to the Doctor. Maybe they played peek-a-boo a time or two. I can imagine a dark-haired toddler running under tables at company picnics or something. Doc might have showed him a couple neat gadgets or gifted him some. I dunno yet. What could be the KNACK-equivalent of a Game Boy?

During Lucas's crying spells, I kind of have the Doctor treat him like he's physically sick. Hold him while he cries, put a hand on his shoulder while he throws up, that sort of thing. Uhh, soup - in a big ol' thermos. Gotta stay hydrated and replenish those electrolytes.

Lucas crying and the Doctor consoling him is a regular occurrence for maybe a week or two, and the Doctor can't hide his exhaustion well. Still working out the details, but essentially Lucas doesn't really stop crying after that, he's just quieter about it and lies about it and Doctor Vargas doesn't press the issue. But the Doctor does worry. Lucas seems exhausted all the time, and when he's not hunched over and listless, or politely playing along with whatever to satisfy the grown-ups, he's throwing tantrums about the pointlessness of homework and anything else he doesn't want to do. I made that up. Sometimes he does still find joy in some things, and while it's temporary, it gives Doctor Vargas some hope.

The Doctor's thoughts, as they often do, turn to Charlotte, and how he felt after losing her. And what happened on that fateful day.

Lucas has a well-known love of puzzles. Because I want him to. And especially puzzles in video games. And what is science but a series of puzzles?

Before his mother's passing, I imagine Lucas enjoyed school and gained some reputation among his peers for being a nerdy kid and very smart. Naturally this would result in some peers getting close to him to improve their academic metrics or because they have similar interests. Maybe he has an interest in - the foundational stuff a seven-to-eight-year-old learns about - physics. I imagine he found his mommy's work very interesting and would ask her a lot of questions, sometimes rehashing the same ideas again and again (as my sibling did when they were little).

After she's gone, he still loves puzzles, but much like anything else, the experience of playing with them is tinged with regret. At the Doctor's place, I'm sure there are some other children and young folk living there, too, but I don't know how Lucas feels about them. I have to make so many characters...

I think Lucas would piece together some jigsaw puzzles in the lounge areas. And also slurp up much of the hot cocoa during winter time, but I digress.

Hmm. I need him to accumulate a small collection of toys, but I'm not sure yet who gives them to him and when. If he receives them all too soon and from strangers (scientists who find him endearing), he might feel sour about being pitied. At the same time, if he had a lot of toys before the fire, he'll sure miss their absence. Anyway, some things like: a small chess set, from which he'll lose some pieces, sidewalk chalk, a new gaming device with Tetris and a few other games on it, jump rope, a skateboard (actually a longboard), a Rubik's Cube, and some plushies. I want him to get the device and a plushy or two fairly quickly.

He mainly plays with the gaming device, and while it fills time and is entertaining, it does not fill the void. Still, the Doctor taps his shoulder one day.

"So. I heard you like puzzles?" Said more like a statement than a question.

Lucas doesn't fully understand the situation at first, on the order of a few hours or a day or so, when the Doctor shows him the orb. Doc tries to have a heart-to-heart moment with Lucas, but what the Doctor *says* reads like Chekhov's plasma cannon and I don't have the 'payoff' for that lined up, so I might change it.

But once it clicks for Lucas, it's like a switch is flipped. He smiles more and starts getting genuinely excited about things again. It helps that I had a pipe-dream of making Knack's puzzle a mini-game, so Lucas finds it fun. I'll want to add more to it, probably, depending on how I interpret Knack. I also have a headcanon that Knack's orb resembles a plasma globe in some tactile characteristic; Lucas likes to touch or hold it at every opportunity because it vaguely feels like something is going on in there. It's just so cool! The Doctor may or may not appreciate the novelty.

So it's like, Knack provides Lucas an opportunity to climb to his feet again. More indirectly than the screenshot, though.

I apparently got someone's game-play video confused for a trailer, and misinterpreted the YouTuber's voice as Lucas's voice, so one version of this post mentioned Knack having an incidental role of 'guardian' to Lucas. I still might want to play with that, though.

Anyway, if you're curious as to why Lucas finds the orb so much more satisfying than other puzzles, it's because of the angst. I had initially intended for Lucas to work on the project as something to distract him, much like any other puzzle, give him something to look forward to, and help him bond with Doctor Vargas. The Doctor himself hopes it can help the both of them move on from their losses, and hopes it can help him teach Lucas a thing or two.

But, somehow surprising even to me, Lucas seems to have taken it upon himself to solve this particular puzzle as a measure of value. If he can play a big part in solving it, and contribute to a grown-up scientific achievement, then he's worth all the trouble, right? Then he'll actually amount to something and be worth loving.

... I'm not sure what to say next except that I want to bonk him on the head with a paper towel roll and tell him he's being silly. And then give him a big hug.

At least he lets himself be happy again. In fact, his educational situation might flip from being too aloof to being too distracted. Doodling odd symbols in the margins of his homework and tapping his feet when he should be studying.

He still cries at night sometimes, though. Umm... trying to rack my brain here...

I avoid giving Lucas any diagnosis. Is this a bad idea? Would it be preferred I name his issues, and do research on them?

I kinda just make stuff up.

Okay, switching gears now. This part is more scattered because I don't know how to string the ideas together.

I think I mentioned the Doctor taking Lucas to places like museums and carnivals and aquariums.

Lucas might be prone to jealousy, at least when he is young, and becomes slightly possessive over the orb. This doesn't come up much beyond pressing his lips together, avoiding eye contact, and nursing a bitter feeling when the Doctor improves some experimental hardware without Lucas's prior knowledge. Lucas wonders if the Doctor had continued solving parts without him. Not sure if I should drop it.

Lucas is about ten years old by the time Knack is Manifested. I picked ten years old just 'cause that's about two years of working on the puzzle, enough time to build that machine. I don't want it to take too long or short because the puzzle I'm going with currently makes the Doctor look a bit stupid.

I have Lucas as twelve years old when the first game starts, because that's about middle-school age where the puberty does the things. And about 16 or so in the sequel, trying to balance the moved-out thing with the uncharacteristically immature behavior.

Also because Ava seems about 16 and Dad said that number makes sense for her role as a youth leader, and Ava and Lucas seem like peers. Man, they really flopped on the framing for the scene in this shot! I can hardly see Lucas at all with low brightness. Maybe it's different when you play it yourself.

Dad also told me something that I interpreted to mean most media is really bad at establishing ages. So I'm not sure what to do with that.

Anyway, ten years old.

I'm still not sure how, after the excitement of success subsides, Lucas will initially react to the creature made of stone. His reaction will probably depend on his background. Early drafts have him fed fairy tales that paint goblins unfavorably. And since the creature resembles a goblin in some aspects, Lucas freaks himself out or intimidates the little guy. But these drafts felt silly or off, because the creature is all smiles when he wakes up, and we know he's friendly. Also the Doctor just stands there. So I'll come up with something else, probably.

Regarding Knack's relationship with Lucas: When I see other people describe their relationship as sibling-like (a headcanon), they tend to position Knack as the elder. I may need to double-check; the fandom is pretty small and I haven't read much of the fanfictions. Another headcanon I saw a couple times is that Knack had been alive/conscious a long, long time ago.

But recently someone told me they interpret Lucas as the elder!

My interpretation is that Lucas steps up to that particular plate, first.

My idea goes: before anyone knows for sure that Knack's creature type also includes being a person, Lucas treats him a bit like a toddler and a pet, himself acting as the older brother and sorta babysitter. Still trying to decide if Knack knows he is a person at this stage... It seems like in both games, Lucas tends to talk to him like he's giving him a tutorial.

So I gotta figure out how the Doctor, Lucas, and some other folks turn a sweet little bean into the Knack we all know and love. And how Knack and the Doctor etc, do the same with Lucas.

Lucas is so silly!

I know you saw the one about the first night, Bestie [D;? but I'm not sure how to explain it concisely here. A lot of these I feel would be best shown in a comic series.

There is very much a theme of reciprocation in my story. That might be the wrong word. I'm thinking of familial affection. Lucas just doesn't get enough, and so, doing unto others as he would want to be treated, offers attention to Knack. What to list as examples... Reading him stories, nuzzling, very simple dancing. Probably more but I am my brain is made of Swiss cheese.

I did mention Knack being a sleepy baby on here at first, but I don't think I mentioned that Lucas worries if he's dying or something. It's like if you brought home a baby creature, but had no idea what it eats or needs to live, and then it acts groggier and less responsive, and can barely hold its head up... The Doctor kind of scoffs and says it's highly unlikely (not in a mean way), possibly thinking of Knack more like a device. But even if the Doctor is confident, Lucas isn't convinced. And Baby Knack doesn't know how to ask for what he needs, so he kind of furrows his brow and squints and makes little grumbling noises and like. I'm not sure how to describe it. It's like he kneads invisible dough or something? And he frequently glances up at Lucas or the Doctor.

Lucas tries really hard to not-cry and seem reasonable, but he can't help reaching out to pet the little guy's head. The creature responds very favorably, still sleepy. Leading Lucas to bring him into a hug, possibly picking him up. The creature is soothed by this, and after wrapping his arms around Lucas, he promptly falls asleep. Or something idk. Everything is a work in progress.

Knack occupies a weird role at first, and even later on occasion: something sort of like a pet, but not quite. Lucas is primarily the one who initiates the interactions like that, but sometimes the Doctor does as well. Knack himself does not understand until later.

I know it's silly to have Lucas pet him. He's basically a rock, even if he reminds me of a teddy bear sometimes. But look at that face! Lucas can feel warm and fuzzy just knowing that his little puzzle buddy likes him.

I also have Lucas very interested in Knack as a person, like how he's feeling and what he thinks. I think it would be funny if he gets good at reading Knack's body language, but not so good at interpreting his words sometimes. I'm kind of throwing out that scene in 2 where Knack gives Lucas an odd look for presuming what he's thinking and framing it as a 'talk'; if Lucas paid any attention to Knack, he would have done something like that a long time ago. And so I have him *do*: Early on, Lucas talks to the Doctor for Knack, like an untrained interpreter. And sometimes even airs his own grievances as if Knack is 'saying' so.

I mean, I *guess* I could have Lucas be oblivious to Knack's emotional situation unless it suits him, but then like. I dunno. That doesn't fit the little guy I made up so far. What feels more like Lucas?

Lucas sometimes imitates Knack's mannerisms and vice versa. Also expect recycled dialogue. I think Lucas vicariously experiences some adventure through Knack.

I still think Lucas gets swole by playing with Knack all the time.

Later, Knack and Lucas switch big-brother-little-brother roles based on the scene.

(I got this screenie from MoeePlays. The rest of the unwatermarked ones are from FullPlaythroughs.)

You may also see Knack playing the big-brother role while being Little Knack, if I can communicate that well enough. I think it's interesting. And the reverse.

Dad compared the way I describe Knack to Lennie Smalls in "Of Mice and Men", and suggested Lucas could be made somewhat like George. I must say, I hadn't read that story before then. So that was a wild ride! Now George, he's kind of prickly, which Lucas seems to be in the second game, but I'm a little hesitant. Dad also mentioned something about George's dream, and maybe Lucas could have something like that. I think I know what he means, and it's probably a reason I feel stuck in the 'ending' I had written; the dream feels impossible.

Jumping around again; if you were to talk to Lucas about Knack, and Knack was nowhere to be seen, Lucas would probably think of him as Little Knack. I looked too far into Lucas calling Knack "little buddy" at the start, and couldn't remember if Lucas called him something different later. I also interpreted this to mean Knack often hangs out with Lucas as Little Knack, which is supported by a brief shot or two in 1, and the title screen of 2.

Lucas considers Knack to be his achievement on some level. In fact, I consider this to be what he was alluding to in the museum in 2; that "without me, the Doctor would never have known-" how to bring Knack to life. I can imagine a young Lucas, when people are told that the Doctor had solved the puzzle and created Knack, saying quietly or thinking to himself, "*I* made this."

He goes back on that idea later. For Reasons. I might change that also, though. Then again, if I change the story every time I get caught and scraped up in a prickly patch, I wouldn't have much of a story anymore. I wouldn't necessarily say Lucas is naive. He's pretty smart and can sometimes pick up on things, but he can be willfully ignorant. If that doesn't make sense out of context, don't worry.

Changing the subject, Lucas kick-starts Knack's mischievous streak. He kind of teases him? Best example is the GIF I wanted to make but turned into a slideshow. In the garden, Lucas growls in jest at a Little Baby Knack, who reacts ferociously and growls back with rough red lettering, lifting his paws a bit and shifting his weight from foot to foot. Lucas laughs, delighted, and Baby Knack's expression shifts a little into amusement, before the GIF loops and they return to growling.

To clarify, Knack is playing, here. Although it does take him a few moments of fleeing and fawning to realize Oh, you're threatening me as a joke. Two can play at that game! Eventually, Lucas feels that Knack is acting too aggressive for his comfort, and, failing to notice that Knack is mirroring his own body language, worries he'll get a good punch to the gut. Or worse. He tries to de-escalate with the offer of a hug, which allows Baby Knack to play a mean prank.

And at one point I want Lucas to try smuggling Knack to school for the express purpose of scaring the crap out of Lucas's peers. For fun!

Another thing about how I wrote Lucas is that, when he is younger, at least, he isn't all that shy with Knack after like a day or so. I'm not sure how to say what I mean... It's like, Lucas has a tendency to get excited and touch, lightly pull, or grab Knack's arm(s), to get his attention, turn him around, or drag him somewhere. It's also a means of affection. He's gentle about it, but still. He isn't usually so grabby with other kids.

One of the things I considered playing with Knack is whether he might bite a family member when he is a 'baby'. But the more I think about it, the more the answer resounds no, he wouldn't. In one scene I wrote, Knack makes a non-lingual, idle threat (growling at him), but Lucas calls his bluff and takes something from him anyway. Lucas actually scoffs at him, incredulous.

Do not look to Lucas for guidance on how to treat children, animals, or operate heavy machinery.

Umm, what else. I bet Lucas would pass out if someone strokes his hair. First thing that comes to mind is Charlotte experimentally trying motherly things, feeling awkward about it and stopping. Lucas murmers something like, "You can keep going :)" Realizes what he just said, "I mean, if *you* want to," and scratches the back of his neck and looks away.

Along with a grappling hook (or maybe the Doctor gave him that), Ryder gives Lucas a butterfly knife for his twelfth birthday. This sounds very familiar to me, so either I thought about it before, it's practically canon, or someone else had mentioned it and I just can't remember. Or it could be a regular pocket knife.

At some point, to someone else, I have Doc describe Lucas as becoming more responsible since Knack came into his life. But of course, since the Doctor can never let Lucas have anything, he amends it with, "at times."

I also have this screenshot:

What was I going to put down for it...?

I remember seeing a review where someone mentioned this scene, gave an extremely reductive summary of it, and they thought "It plays out like a parody of kids movie/game “you-can-do-itism” but it’s not parodying anything in particular." I was rather miffed about that, to say the least; I thought this scene was a major characterization moment.

Lucas is curious/a scientist.

Knack puts so much faith in the Doctor that he limits himself. He also comes off like a major teacher's pet with his quoting ability.

The Doctor thinks himself so smart like he knows everything without testing it thoroughly. To the point where he has told Knack that he is incapable of something.

Lucas encourages Knack to try new things.

Not sure how to put this, but it comes up again in the Key Confrontation. Could be related to 4. Lucas is skeptical of the Doctor's authority and offers an opposing viewpoint. He prompts Knack to stop viewing the Doctor's words as gospel, at least temporarily. This is why I want Lucas and the Doctor to be/become foils in my story. Lucas sees himself in Knack.

Knack believes in the Doctor, sure. But he also trusts and believes in Lucas.

And one last thing, because I can't escape upsetting topics: there may be some parental favoritism going on between the Doctor and the boys. I loathe the idea, but it slots into my current framework with unfortunate agreement. I had a conversation with Dad about it, and he said, uhh trying to remember... it's a reasonable idea. He spoke of Lucas coming into his own and how it challenges the Doctor's ego, meanwhile Knack does whatever the Doctor says without question.

I don't think Lucas would resent or blame the Doctor's Greatest Creation, but it would impact his self-esteem. I don't know what that looks like yet.

Umm, I hope this was worth the wait; I had a lot of fun! I want to add more but I'm kind of scatter-brained. Also this is 4.6k words apparently.

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