#also I did mean to post a little earlier but I had surgery lol I’m much better now tho!gods willing I will clear out some of my drafts now🙏

[pixlatedvampire]

I love this disaster bard sm you don’t even know 💕

[cudan2]

We’re Only Human

Spring Break Shadowing Part 4

Carlisle Cullen x Reader

Word Count: 2,040

Summary: It’s the last day of shadowing with Dr. Cullen, but you’ve come to realize a little more about how you feel towards him. Cue crushes and a little bit of chaos along the way.

A/N: I finished the semester and can actually dedicate time to writing this again because instead of being on spring break, I’m now on winter break. I also chopped this part in half because it was probably going to be over 6,000 words otherwise and that’s just a lot compared to the previous ones. Bear with me, guys. Another note - I’m thinking about posting this on Ao3 but will rewrite it because I don’t know what I was thinking when I wrote this in present tense lol. 

Anyways, this is #8 on my headcanon list.

Masterlist

XXX

You don’t know how it happened, but time is on your side and you’re running early this morning. The sun has just risen and casts a warm glow across the hospital as you make you way to the Starbucks, determined to be the one to buy Doctor Cullen his drink for once.

Meeting him here every morning has become a tradition, a tradition that involves him getting you breakfast every day you’ve shadowed him this week. The two of you would chat about various topics while walking to where ever he had to be next. Sometimes you would prod his brain with more medical-related questions, occasionally he would tell stories from his past, but regardless, his every word had you captivated.

Alright, perhaps it wouldn’t hurt to finally admit that you may or may not have developed a tiny crush on Doctor Cullen. To be fair though, this is your last day shadowing him and it’s not like you’re ever going to see him again anyways. You feel a pang of disappointment at the thought, but it soon disappears when Emily greets you at the counter.  

“Hi, Y/N! Where’s the doctor today?”

“I was running early today, so I figured I’d grab both of our drinks.” You place your order and ask the barista what Doctor Cullen’s “usual” was.

“Oh that?” she laughs. “He gets boiling water. It’s a little weird, but I just assumed he makes tea with it.”

Boiling... water? You think back to the last several days and try to remember what Doctor Cullen even did with his drink. He definitely never made tea with it. In fact, you don’t think he’s ever taken a sip out of the cup before throwing it away.

“Then I’ll be adding a grande boiled water to my order,” you tell Emily and thank her before she moves on to the next person in line.

You wait to the side for your food and see Jaime standing there too. He’s wearing a backpack and a faded college sweatshirt thrown over his scrubs, and you’re reminded of how many years left of school you have before you can even call yourself a doctor. You wave to him, and he pulls an earbud out from his ear with a sleepy smile.

“Hey, what’s up?” he greets you.

“Nothing much, just grabbing something to eat before the day starts. I’m surprised to see you here though. What happened to morning rounds?”

Jaime lets out what you can only discern as a mix between a hollowed laugh and a groan and tells you about forgetting his coffee at home. “Don’t even get me started on this morning. My car died on me, so I had to get an Uber. Lo and behold, there weren’t any Ubers around either, so ya boy eventually took not just a taxi, but a taxi and the train. By the time I got here, I realized my coffee was still on the counter at home, and so now I’m here.”

Damn, and you thought mornings were rough for you.

“Sorry to hear that! Did you get in trouble for being late?”

“I called Doctor Cullen myself and told him what was happening. He was so understanding, god bless, so I’m in the clear for now.

At the mention of the doctor, your thoughts instantly go back to blond tresses and a brilliant smile you already know you’ll miss when you leave the hospital for the last time today.

“Yeah, he’s pretty great, isn’t he?” you say a little too dreamily. Jaime gives you a knowing look and you rein it back in, hoping you haven’t exposed yourself already.

“You know, I think he’s going to miss you the most when you leave.” You don’t even get the chance to react when Jaime continues on, “Don’t get me wrong, Lily and I will definitely miss having you around, but the man really took a liking to you a lot faster than he did with us.”

“What do you mean?”

“He always kept us at an arm’s length before you came around. All of that personal stuff you get out of him would have taken him weeks to tell us before, and that’s if we’re lucky. He just seems more comfortable around you,” Jaime shrugs. His coffee is then called out, cutting off anything he wanted to say next. “That’s my cue. I’ll see you later!”

You take a moment to mull over what Jaime said. From your perspective, Doctor Cullen has treated you exactly the same way he does with everyone else. You don’t dare to over think what Jaime could be saying – over thinking never leads to anything good. And yet, the damage is done. The seed has been planted and now you can’t help but wonder about what made you stand out to the doctor.

Your own order is called, and you’re pulled from your thoughts with the smell of warm food.

Now armed with two beverages and a pastry bag sandwiched between your fingers, you make your way to a nearby table to wait for Doctor Cullen. Your wait is soon cut short though, as you see him walking towards you out of your peripheral vision. The clouds shift and the sun shines through the windows again. Its golden rays pass over the doctor, and for a second, you swear you could see him shimmering in the sunlight.

You squint strangely and blink a few times. Get it together, you tell yourself. Over thinking is clearly playing some weird psychological tricks on your eyes, and you still needed to be on your A-game.

“Hey you,” he flashes that familiar smile once more when reaching the table you are settled at. “You’re early today.”

“I am. It even gave me the chance to get you your water.” You hand him the cup with a smirk, having made sure to put a sleeve on it earlier because unlike Doctor Cullen, you actually have hands that hold the risk of being burnt.

“Ah, I see Emily has divulged one of my secrets with you. Thank you, Y/N, you really didn’t have to.”

“It’s nothing,” you insist. Seriously, water is free at Starbucks. “Think of it as a small thank you present. It’s the least I could do for the amazing surgeon that let me follow him around for the week.”

“Hmm, I think you may have meant the amazing, extremely kind, highly skilled, and not to mention, quite dashing–”

“Okay! No need to flatter yourself,” you laugh, trying your best to refrain from rolling your eyes. In all honesty, you can’t describe him any better. Add in attractive, intelligent, compassionate, way too humble sometimes, and it would be the perfect recipe to recreate another Doctor Cullen.

From there on, your daily routine at the hospital continues without a hitch. It’s a morning filled with back to back surgeries and question after question thrown at you from the doctor. There is no doubt that he is keeping you on your toes – literally and figuratively. You have to admit though, you are pretty proud of yourself for being able to answer the majority of his questions.

Your feet swing aimlessly while you spin around in a padded chair in Doctor Cullen’s office. Your laptop is open on his desk, displaying a blank document that’s meant to be your personal statement. It has been a little over an hour since he left you here to attend a mandatory meeting and you are starting to get antsy.

Aside from several stacks of files and other various papers, the desk lacks the small trinkets you would expect to see. As a matter of fact, the office itself is surprisingly void of anything personal. There aren’t any pictures of family, friends, pets, not even of a possible wife. There are no decorations on the wall either, and if it weren’t for the leather briefcase leaning against the side of the desk, you’d never believe this office belonged to him. No wonder he spends as much time as possible outside of this dismal room.

As you continue spinning in the chair, you bring up a paper fortune teller made earlier from a sticky note. You choose a color, two subsequent numbers, and flip open the flap to reveal the fortune.

Brunch date with Dr. Cullen.

The things you do to kill time. Your friends would never let you live this down if they could see you now.

Just as you’re about to go another round with the fortune teller, the door opens and Doctor Cullen walks in. The fortune teller goes flying out of your hands and onto the floor next to you as you jump in surprise and halt the spinning.

“Sorry about the wait, Y/N. I’m afraid the meeting took longer than expected,” he says, his words laced with a hint of bitterness. Luckily, he didn’t seem to notice you nearly jumping out of your skin. Not wanting to draw attention to the fortune teller on the floor, you leave it there for now and start packing up your stuff.

“I presume you found a way to entertain yourself?”

“Kind of? I tried starting my personal statement again. It’s really not coming together,” you laugh dryly. Too preoccupied with turning off your laptop and putting it away, you don’t notice that Doctor Cullen walking around to the head of the desk where you are until it’s too late.

Oh crap, the fortune teller. Of course, he just has to notice it too and picks it up with a curious expression. You look up, and he’s standing there with it in his hand.

“Did you make this?”

You leap up from the chair and snatch it out of his hand before he can examine it any closer. There is no way in hell you’re letting him open it.

“Uh, yeah... It’s just something we used to make in elementary school – nothing special!” You try to play it off as cool as possible and slip the fortune teller into the small trash can underneath his desk. “So what’s next on the schedule?”

He takes a moment before answering you. You see his eyes study the way your fingers nervously fidgets with a loose thread on your shirt. He seemingly brushes off the interaction that occurred and responds, “Pre-op. I believe this one will be much different than the others you’ve observed this week.”

“What’s different about it?” you ask. Doctor Cullen starts to leave and holds the door open for you.

“You’ll see.” You don’t have to look at him to know he’s smirking.

He shuts the door and you start walking towards to the surgical department when a hand abruptly pulls you back just a little too hard. You trip over your own feet in the process and in some miraculous, but also really unlucky, sadistic, cruel-of-the-universe sort of way, land in Doctor Cullen’s arms. Goosebumps form up your arms where he’s holding you, and you can’t tell whether it’s from the temperature difference or the fact that your face is only an inch away from his chest.

You are absolutely mortified to say the least. Heat begins crawling up your cheeks and if there was a witness, they would have seen you quite literally jump out of the doctor’s arms.  

“I’m so sorry, Doctor Cullen! I didn’t mean to trip and fall and–”

“No, no, please, Y/N. It was of no fault of yours. I admit, I wholly underestimated the extent of my strength in that moment.” You stare at him, still dismayed at what happened, but it seems you aren’t the only one feeling like a deer in the headlights. “Can you find it in yourself to forgive me?” he asks, smiling meekly.

“It’s fine, these things happen. We’re only human after all, right?”

“...Right.” There’s a moment of silence that goes on for longer than you prefer, and you can’t help but feel like you’re the punchline of some inside joke. You don’t dwell on it though. There’s really only so much social embarrassment you can handle in one day. “Now, if there aren’t any more near-accidents,” he points in the opposite direction and says, “we’re headed to the children’s hospital.”

Oh.

[saintsofvoid]

Not saying you have no reason to feel "bleh", sometimes the brain just insists, but there is so much character in the little snippets and commentary and photos you do. Even if they are similar to other people's (which is really hard not to do), they are so unique to themselves it's absolutely worth it.

Hopefully you're feeling better soon, and can find joy in creating and talking about your boys again ❤

Its late so I'm gonna kinda reply to this with what has been going on on my end and where this funk is coming from. Putting it under a read more to spare everyone, but first and foremost I do appreciate all of you beyond belief for reaching out and having such kind words to say. I know its just a me thing but sometimes it all does just get to me. With that being said, feel free to ignore the whole next bit.

I 100% understand and accept its never going to be completely possible to make completely original characters, especially given the restricted format we have for CP2077. I wish we had more power to craft our characters, more like Fallout 4's character creator (which despite the game's flaws I still go back to just to make characters lol). The problem is I see Valor in game and these screenshots of him and while I do like how he looks... its not him. Not completely. His scars are wrong, he doesn't have his tattoos, hair isn't right, he's missing the ports on his body, and overall things just aren't 100% with him. But despite all that, 3rd time around I think he looks pretty good. Again though am limited to what the game allows so a part of me does get a bit offed when I see other ppls Vs that look a bit too similar. I know its just me, I don't take it to heart, its just upsetting reminder I can't make him look how he's supposed to. Same with Umbra, he looks nothing like how he looks in our TTRPG and it really hurts because I spent a long time making him with our GM and I can't show that. Its not possible in game and my art doesn't do him any justice. So it gets frustrating because I look at some of these guys and they're not my characters, just similar figures to them, but not them.

Which is really hard especially when it comes to Val because long ago he was a self insert that I used to project how I wanted to look. I Have never done well with identifying as trans, I don't like to glamorize it or be recognized for it. I'm saving up for chest surgery but I'm fucking terrified of having the scars. I just don't want to be associated and recognized with it after my transition just because it's been really rough to go through in general. I haven't enjoyed this journey at all really, and really wish I didn't have to go through it. Valor in the RPG was my way of coping and going through stuff. Instead of gender though it was his association with cyberware and having parts of his body and "humanity" removed, replaced with machine and wires. I don't project onto him as much as I once did but he still will and forever hold pieces of that history because that's how I made him.

With all that, all I really do have is my words. Part of the problem with that is there's literally years worth of lore. I've been playing the same campaign with the same group of friends since my freshman year of college. So like 6/7 years now? There's a lot. The issue is these are people I'm really good friends with. This game has become a kind of safe zone for us. We're all a bunch of artist that mainly specialized in horror content. We were part of a movie club that mainly watched horror movies. We're the bitches that watched the Saw series during our free hour in the school library, like we are chill. That also just kinda means there's a lot of dark and twisted subject matter that ends up in our games. Characters having experienced some fucked up shit, witnessed some fucked up shit, and have done some fucked up shit. Feel kinda weird posting or sharing some of the more dark things in detail. So end up watering them down and they don't always feel right.

Top of all that, I just don't have the time to do things I wanna do. I feel so goddamn pressured at home and like I should be doing more. I honestly don't know how half these people have the time to learn and do the amount of mods and edits they do. I'm not gonna lie, I'm envious of it. I get 8-10 hours of being yelled at by customers, and then I may or may not have an hour long drive to take my brother to work or pick him up some days, and then whatever my parents have going on. I want to get back into art, I want to learn 3D modeling, I want to learn how to properly mod but I'm usually so stressed out or just exhausted nothing sticks so I don't even bother really. It sucks, because I want to learn, I want to do things, but I can't. I feel like because I have so little private and personal time now if I can't get things quick enough its not worth the effort. Its frustrating but again that's all on me.

And in other news, lotta people around me are dying or have had family die do to COVID and other things. Earlier this year a close friend of mine lost her dad to COVID and she's still struggling with that. A family friend of ours died earlier this week at the age of 35 from unknown causes. I have another friend who is in the psych ward because he is once again dealing with mental stuff and wellness check did not turn up well. Round it all off, my grandpa has basically given up on his life as well, flat out saying there's nothing worth living for anymore. Given his health issues I know its only a matter of time until I'm saying my final goodbye to him as well. So its rough, and fucking sucks. Not much I can do about it, but it makes me feel fucking worse with my own depression and suicidal thoughts. I know I'd never act on the thoughts, but seeing how death effects those around me makes me feel fucking worse for even thinking about it.

The part that sucks the most about it all, and even something I've expressed to my therapist is I'm completely self aware that its all in my head. I know I can't control these situations, and that skills take time to be acquired and grow. I am so grateful for all friends and support I do have, here, on disco, irl, I see the kind words and love and it really means a lot. I feel like a horrible friend because I don't know what to do really. I know its in my head, and I know what I can and can't control. I know what I need to do, yet I don't feel any better. I feel worse, I feel like I'm distant, and dismissive. I feel like what content I am putting out is stale and boring. I just feel lost and I'm not sure what piece I'm missing to really get things going again. I love my characters, I love making stuff with them. I love the story arch I have for Val and Ker and I want to share all of that with you all. I just feel really weird.

[broughtupasthefinest]

I called it.

These past couple of weeks have been a lot, to say the least. Last week was finals week which marked the end of my second semester of my master’s program. Getting through that itself was not an easy feat, but when it’s coupled with a terrible case of tonsillitis, it’s even worse. I was in and out of the treatment center several times during the week because the antibiotics just weren’t working. I also had to get an MRI and a COVID test last week in preparation for my surgery this past Monday. 

Through this all, I felt very alone. G wasn’t really around for me besides the daily “How are you feeling text?” - Not that I think he truly cared considering he made no effort to see me, comfort me, or support me during a very tough week. I could tell something was wrong that whole week. He just wasn’t there for me and it felt like it did when I last posted about a month ago. I knew this time I wasn’t being irrational or imagining this in my head. Something was undoubtedly off. 

This leads me to last Saturday - a week ago now - a day before my surgery. I was texting him in the morning, as I usually do, but he was really not putting any effort into the conversation. He would say he missed me but didn’t want to get sick so he didn’t want to see me... Lame. Very different from the last time I was sick, but anyway, I let it slide a little bit because I knew I had to finish up my last assignment of the semester and didn’t really want to deal with it at that moment. The second I turned in my assignment, I texted him because I was excited and proud to be completed for the term. His response was not exactly what I expected. Now, I definitely knew this was most likely coming, I just didn’t think it would be at this exact moment. 

Minutes after sending my text, I received a reply from G saying that he has been mentally distraught about our relationship, that he doesn’t see a future with me, and that he can’t force himself to feel a certain way about me. I handled my own very well. I didn’t fly off the handle, I didn’t curse him out, I didn’t give him the reaction I’m sure he wanted. I basically told him that was fine. He no longer had to lie to me about wanting to see me or loving me and I was okay with that. I told him that I didn’t really want to speak to him anymore because this was hurtful and immature. I mean, what 26 year old breaks up with a girl he “loves” over text message when he lives 5 minutes away? AND a day before surgery?! To reiterate my earlier point, mad lame. 

While I acknowledged that this was totally wrong and cruel of him and that none of this was a reflection of me, I still felt angry. I cried a bit and I screamed a bit, but I knew I would be okay. I think I was just more upset with the fact that I knew something wasn’t right and I was trying to make it work when he wasn’t. That’s always the case with me. I always put the effort in because I believe in working through issues and finding solutions when I have strong feelings, but not everyone else is like that and I need to accept that. 

Anyway, after a slight meltdown that day, I was fine. I was ready to accept that this boy was no longer a part of my life. I recognized that the relationship wasn’t what I thought it was. I want to be with someone that wants to build a future with me. Someone that wants to go out and live life with me, not just sit home and do nothing all the time. I deserve to be with someone that realizes my worth and supports me. Not someone that is going to bring me down and then say “It’s just a joke.” I know there’s more for me out there and after this, I was ready to find it. But G had other plans...

I think he thought he could worm his way back into my life with ease, but jokes on him. He can’t. Upon waking up from my surgery Monday, I had a text from him saying that he hopes I am okay, that he truly cares about me and my wellbeing, and that he doesn’t know if he made the right decision in breaking up with me. NEWS FLASH, BUDDY: You didn’t make the right decision. I was probably the best girl you were ever going to find. I would have supported you in every single endeavor you had, no matter how ridiculous I thought it might be, because I believed in you. You just didn’t believe in me or in us. 

So after that, I agreed to give him a conversation. Updates will certainly come after that, but I plan on standing my ground. I don’t really want to date him again. He betrayed me. He lied to me for weeks about how he was feeling and instead of talking to me, he let it build up and then just called it quits. Then he had the nerve to question if I was back on Hinge... In case you forgot, G, you broke up with me so I’m free to do what I want and it’s none of your business. (Not that I’m actually back on Hinge though, lol). He can live with his mistake. 

There’s much more to come in my life than a boy that doesn’t realize a true queen when he sees one. 

-NF

[softnaruto]

I haven't seen any character x character (none that you've posted anyways) and I've been loving the ones you've made so far. So is it okay if I ask for a crack ship I've noticed recently? Tobirama x Sakura. Fluff with the whole idea that Tobirama finally has someone knowledgeable he could relate with and as much of a workaholic as he is in her respective profession. Thank you if you would considerel making this :)

The Workaholics

author’s note: hi hi ! this was SO MUCH FUN to write! sakura and Tobirama really are the “I-say-i-hate-you-but-i-will-prepare-you-a-feast” couple. thank you so much for requesting! I hope you like it!

also it was really long so, more below the cut! 

pairings: tobirama x sakura

words: 1281

genre: fluffy!

warnings: crack ships, lol.

OFF THE BAT, let me just say, I never thought about Tobirama and Sakura together due to the, you know, decades of “life” between them.

BUT, let me also say that I actually could see them together!

Let’s start off with a couple of facts:

Sakura feels as if she’s often the only responsible one in Team 7 (yes, I AM taking about that one time where Naruto wanted to fight Sai and Sakura was trying to make up for it but ended up punching the hell out of Sai)

Tobirama, on the other hand, always feels as if HE has to do something because his idiot (CUTE) brother, Hashirama, is always dreaming about things that are just UNREALISTIC

Sakura is constantly nagging at Naruto to you know, stop being an idiot, and Tobirama is always nagging at Hashirama to stop being an idiot too.

Sakura is strong and she knows what she wants WHEN she wants it (Can we talk about the STRENGTH she has? Both physically and emotionally?)

She is someone that will tell you when she finds something annoying or that makes her uncomfortable, and she won’t try and sugar coat it either.

Tobirama is the same way, except he often leaves his feelings out of everything in his life and I feel that Sakura’s honesty would go well with that.

Sakura is independent, which is something that I believe would attract Tobirama because he does NOT have time to go around babysitting his lover. I mean could you imagine Tobirama running after his wife with the whole, “Baby, did you eat?” Yeah, no. (If he did do that, Sakura would probably sucker punch him too.)

Okay, now that we’ve established that Sakura and Tobirama are the #yourfeelingsarehurt?toobad power couple, let’s begin with the actual relationship!

Actually, Sakura and Tobirama are pretty fluffy around each other.

If somehow they both ended up leaving work early (around… let’s say, 2AM,) they would find themselves somehow eating dinner together in the couch. A small blanket would be laying on their laps with a bowl of leftovers. They would talk about their day with the TV on a random channel, the soft buzz from the TV creating a peaceful hum. After Sakura would finish, she would place her head on Tobirama’s shoulder, closing her eyes for a second while Tobirama talked about how difficult being the Hokage was and how he had to take over all of Hashirama’s prior work.

Sakura would nod, listening to him, before Tobirama would then stop talking, allowing her to vent. She would begin to explain how she was all caught up at the hospital and how annoying people were in general.

“Working in a hospital is kissing ass AND convincing patients that you KNOW what you’re talking about as if I haven’t had years of experience!”

Tobirama would sit in silence, before agreeing with Sakura and badmouthing some patients, making her laugh.

If they were to have a free day, you BET they are going to sleep in. At the beginning of their relationship, Tobirama would refuse to sleep in and cuddle because he found it pointless. Now? Tobirama is the one pulling Sakura IN.

“Tobirama—” “You work too hard, just sleep a bit more, yeah?”  

Tobirama supports Sakura no matter what, let’s be real. He understands what it feels like to not be supported (considering he is the Hokage and note everyone in the village agrees with him) and although he is having to always argue about his beliefs and decisions as a leader, he never wants Sakura to feel as if she has to argue to prove her point.

If she says that she wants to quit her job, well, that’s okay! Tobirama will still nag a bit, but after he remembers that she’s an adult and that she knows what she’s doing, he quits and tells her (HOURS LATER) that he supports her.

He knows how hard it is to prove yourself to others and he never wants Sakura to feel as if she’s not seen. Any little thing Sakura does, Tobirama acknowledges. He may not acknowledge it with words, but he will definitely let her know that he’s always noticing her.

If she completed a difficult surgery that took up to 24 hours? She’ll wake up to the breakfast he left for her before leaving for work, with a little note on the fridge saying, “Proud of you.”

Sakura is the same way. If Tobirama has to leave the next day for a meeting with the Feudal Lord, she always makes sure to pack a little something for him in his bag. It’s always something random; one of her horrid energy balls/bites, a small slice of a pie she had bought earlier, a cookie, a note saying how she loved him, the list goes on.

She usually waits until he’s about to leave (not caring if she’s late to work bc lets be real, Sakura knows she just won’t ever get fired, lol #datingthehokagecheck ) and makes sure to let him know that she will just be so ANGRY if anything happens to him.

“IF YOU DIE ON ME—”

“I’m not dying, Sakura.”

“TOBIRAMA I SWEAR TO GO—” Tobirama usually kisses her after she beings to swear (it’s a frequent thing)

O h ! Kisses! Let’s talk about kisses.

Tobirama is a MAN (btw, being a man does not necessarily depend on these factors, but Tobirama is an old-school person who likes to seem so… stereotypical in front of the public) and he just doesn’t want to seem soft in any way in front of ANYONE. But inside their house? You know Tobirama expects a kiss from Sakura the minute she steps inside.

He LOVES good morning kisses, good night kisses, I love you kisses, I AM jealous but I won’t admit it kisses, I know you’re working but I still love you even though you won’t pay attention to me, and ultimately, make up kisses.

Skipping over to Tobirama; he finally feels so understood when he begins dating Sakura. He no longer has to fight for his job or how much time his job takes away from his daily life because Sakura loves her job as much as he does. He knows that all he has to do is call Sakura or meet up with her and explain that he’s working late; he loves the simplicity of it.

Sakura understand Tobirama on a completely different level than anyone has before. If Tobirama is struggling with work, Sakura wouldn’t try and pry him off of it (that would just cause even more frustration because he’s not working on it.) Instead, she would sit by him as she worked on her own paperwork and would try to encourage him to finish it.

Teamwork makes the dream work, right?

With Sakura and Tobirama, it’s ALL about teamWORK.

They have no boundaries with their work, but they keep each other in check. Sakura will force Tobirama to go to bed if he ends up staying up all night working, and Tobirama will DRAG Sakura to their home if she plans on adding too many grave-yard shifts to her schedule.

They just keep each other healthy… in their own way. (Eating instant food while working non-stop and sleeping on top of each other in their couch)

OVERALL,

Although they may not look like they have things in common from an outsider’s perspective, the mutual understanding and love that they have for one another is like no other. They are able to know what is happening without speaking much and are known to keep a healthy relationship with one another despite often working nonstop. 

[dr-gloom]

A Post About Top Surgery From Someone Who’s Currently Recovering

Yo! I’m gonna make a Trans Survival Guide sometime soon but until then I’ve had some stuff on my mind I wanted to get out here for anyone thinking about/waiting for top surgery. I’ll try to keep it reader-friendly cause i totally understand how hard it can be to read large blocks of text

So, here we go.

Pre-Op

You’ll be asked to not drink or smoke for anywhere from a month to 2 weeks prior to surgery, depending on your surgeon’s preference.

They ask that you only use Tylenol if you need to take pain meds as ibuprofen is a blood thinner and can lead to surgical complications.

If you take vitamins or supplements of any kind, get it cleared with your surgeon or stop taking them as well.

You are absolutely allowed to ask a surgeon how many surgeries they’ve done, their success-to-revision rate, their style if they haven’t already told you, and anything else. 

You won’t offend them, and even if you do, making sure you’re going with the surgery you want is waaaay more important. Put your health and your chest above their feelings.

You’re also allowed to meet up with other surgeons to make sure you’re making the best choice. Consider this “shopping”. Just because you met a surgeon, doesn’t mean you have to go with them.

The Surgery

The specific details may vary, but from my own experience, this is how it goes. 

You’re given a time to check in, then you’re called in from the waiting room to go into Pre-Op. 

For me, this meant chillin for a couple hours under a heated blanket, IV in my arm and heart monitor on my finger. 

Until you’re taken into surgery, a lot of nothing happens, and the everything happens. You meet your surgeon so he can draw on you. You meet the anesthesiology team and presiding nurses etc. 

You can absolutely ask them any question you have, express any anxiety, no judgement. The more vocal you are, the more they can help you and by extension themselves. 

I told the anesthesiologist I’d never had surgery before so I was stressed about going under, and they put something in my IV to help me relax before I was wheeled into the OR. Then they put the mask thing over my mouth and I was out. 

You’ll be chillin naked under a hospital gown for a while lol. After you wake up, if it’s an outpatient procedure, they’ll keep you until they’re sure you’re stable - oriented, no vomiting, etc - before wheeling you out to go home. 

You’ll feel kind of slow, very tired, maybe loopy, and of course whatever you tend to feel from anesthesia. For anyone who’s never had surgery, affects range from nausea to coldness to sleepiness to Total Crap.

Incisions and Types of Surgery

There are of course the two main distinctions most people know: key-hole and double incision. What many don’t know is there are vast differences in surgeons’ styles when it comes to these. I’ve seen double incisions shaped like

smiles

a straight line across the chest

two straight lines

two slightly curved lines

incisions that meet in the middle (as mine did, but only to avoid “dog ears”)

incisions that follow the pectoral muscle

This doesn’t even include botched stitching

If you can, ask to see pictures. They may or may not be allowed to show you; if they have a prior patient’s permission, they can.

Just to cover my bases: key-hole is a small incision made near the nipple which can only really be done for those with small breasts (A cups or smaller ((apparently there are smaller ones???))). 

I still recommend double incision, because you have better results and are less likely to have excess skin. The only drawback is the scarring but I believe it’s worth it.

Pain and Pain Management

Typically, from my understanding, top surgeries are outpatient surgeries if you have to travel to get to your surgeon. 

This is cause they want you numb while you’re travelling back home. 

Of course, I’m speaking as someone from Sacramento who had to travel to San Francisco to see a top surgeon so of course you should check with your surgeon about these specifics.

You’ll get prescription meds. If you stay within the guidelines set for you on the dosage label, you won’t get addicted, so don’t put yourself through pain just cause you’re scared of addiction, trust me.  

It is completely possible and probable for you to swell if you don’t have drains. 

Your chest will feel swollen, maybe spongey ((BUT STOP TOUCHING IT)) and that’s normal. 

If the skin feels heated, you get a fever, you have a hard time breathing, it’s tender to the touch (more than it should be), or makes liquid sounds, CALL YOUR SURGEON/RN.

For me, it was like this:

The first day wasn’t too bad, neither was the second day. The third and fourth hurt the worst, but the pain you feel after the first check-up is different and worse. 

You get the gauze taken off your nipples, whatever compression device they have you use is taken off for the first time and you’re moving skin for the first time in at least a week. It hurts. 

It goes from “bad bruise” pain to “oh shit my chest was cut” pain. If you’ve got a little meat on your bones and your skin tends to fold a little, that can cause irritation too. It sucks.

After about Week 2, you can switch from prescription meds to Tylenol, but not Ibuprofen just to be safe.

Surgery Aftercare

Range of Motion:

They’ll tell you not to raise your hands above your head. 

They’ll say no heavy lifting or working out. 

You absolutely cannot use your arms to sit up. 

You should not go your full reach without doctor approval. 

Try to avoid reaching out to the side or behind you. 

Bending over is also something you wanna avoid cause as your midsection bunches up it can rub/crease your incisions and that hurts.

Ideal Outfit/Clothes:

Honestly if you can avoid wearing anything but underwear and the compression garment, go for it. 

If you can’t, button-ups or tank tops with big arm holes are your best friend. 

For the first few days at least have someone else help you dress. 

I’d suggest loose, non-button/zipper pants such as sweats or gym shorts.

 No shoes with laces/velcro since you can’t bend over - sandals/flipflops are best.

Medications:

As mentioned earlier, you’ll be given prescription pain meds. Take them as prescribed and you’ll be fine. 

If you feel any of the negative side effects like hives or fever or nausea, absolutely stop taking them and contact your doctor. 

You’ll also likely be given antibiotics to prevent infection. Take ALL OF THEM, as prescribed. 

Depending on how you react to anesthesia and who your surgeon is, you may also be given stool softener. 

Bottom line: take ALL of your meds AS DIRECTED. These people know what they’re doing.

If you’re doing everything safe and nothing has set you back, typically you’re good to drive around 3 weeks after, workout lightly about 4 or 5 weeks after, and everything else about 6-8 weeks after.

*****This post was made from things I have learned and my own current experience. If I haven’t mentioned something it’s because I don’t know about it and I’d prefer you have to find information elsewhere than risk spreading false information******

[onceuponatimewithhaleigh]

Time to catch up!

I'm so sorry I kinda vanished! Well, I didn't kind of vanish. I straight poofed. So I'm going to catch you guys up on what's happened since the start of August. Quite a lot has gone on, and I needed to kinda - I don't really know? Mentally I was just gone. Like August happened? I don't remember it. But anyhow here we go!

My Skin Spot:

Not cancer! My doctor so politely told me "Sometimes spots just pop up as we... get older." So. Guess I'm just gonna have some serious blemishes the older I get. Haha! I mean, not going to lie, I'm salty about it. But I'd rather be 'getting old' than have cancer. So that's all good!

Meeting with Dr. Lak:

Doctor Lak is my future surgeon for my gastric bypass. She's really really nice. Super friendly and super supportive. She got me all setup - so I have a slue of appointments made. Due to my insurance, I have to see a dietitian for six months consecutively before I can have the surgery. I also have to pass a nicotine test. So - I have to quit smoking ASAP. Which, I need to anyhow. (more on my smoking at the end lol) but overall she was absolutely fantastic!

College(Part One):

Before classes started I talked to my amazing Academic Advisor, Kathrine - and I told her some of my interests and my plans for after college. And we both kinda poked around at my minoring in Photography. To me, that wasn't really enough, so I am now a double major!

OBGYN:

I haven't said anything here, but I have plans in becoming a mother as soon as my health permits. Now I am not in a relationship, nor do I plan to be. I want to be a single mother. Some people think I'm absolutely bat-shit crazy for that. But I think, for me that is the best thing. I have an extremely supportive family, and I have zero doubt in my mind that my child will be loved as much and so much more than they'd ever possibly need! The issue here was A. my weight. B. my family has a history of fertility issues. C. I have PCOS. D. I don't have a partner haha, Kinda need two to tango ;) That all being said, I had mentioned this to my OBGYN, who retired randomly on me in March(with no notice - canceled pre-existing appointments, and with no doctors accepting new patients). I had been telling him about bad pains I'd been having for a while, and he never really listened to me or made any move to investigate. I did my own research, as well as spoke to people about it - and thought I may have Endometriosis. I brought my thoughts to him. He shrugged and said "That's probably it." and made Z E R O effort to figure it out. After three months of pain being horrible to the point sometimes when I was driving, I'd have a flare-up and I'd have to pull over because the pain was so bad I couldn't breathe or see. Then he retired. Then there were no doctors accepting anyone new. So. FINALLY - August 10th I get into a new OBGYN, Dr. Curtis. The first impression was "dudes young and super hip this is gonna be weird..." I'm weird when it comes to doctors, but doctors messing around down there I'm even weirder LOL. I feel like if my OB was a woman there's some weird competition 'Mines prettier...' I have no idea don't judge me xD I told him my wants and things and he told me sadly some older doctors just don't care. they're very black and white. And he was spot on. He told me I probably don't have endometriosis. Put me back on birth control, told me to have the gastric surgery, and then he'd get me in for an exam, and he'd get me to a fertility clinic. He supported me 100% in wanting to become a single mother. He did say that I was the youngest he'd ever seen himself, but he had no issues moving forward with me doing that. Told me a year after surgery, he'd get me to a clinic and we'd get me a baby xD

Dietitian:

My dietitian's name is Andrea, and guys, I love her. She is so goofy as scatterbrained it makes me giggle! I learned a lot during that call though! (all my appointments with gastric have been on the computer/phone) So, this hospital does post-surgery stuff differently than any others in the area, and they've found it's got the best results. So after surgery, I'd usually be on a liquid diet for 6 weeks. Which is standard. Nope! Not here! After surgery, I'll be on a pure protein diet. Not shakes- PUREAED MEAT. How gross right? Meat slushie anyone? Gag lol She goes "Everyone seems to love the pureed eggs" and I literally gagged in the call xD This is gonna be the death of me. Another thing that had me completely shook was that with a stomach the size of an EGG after surgery, I still have to drink 64oz of water a day. She said I can only drink 2oz at a time. So I basically have to take a shot of water every 10 minutes ALL DAY LONG. But! I can't drink anything at all for 30 minutes BEFORE I eat, I can't drink WHILE EATING(which I have to eat 3/4 a cup over 45 minutes-_-), and I can't drink shit for 30 minutes AFTER I eat. So. This shit's gonna be wild man. I'm excited but anxious as hell. And for the rest of my life, I'll be taking vitamin supplements.

Weight:

Currently, my weight is 417lbs

College(Part Two):

So. Friday(Aug. 28th) before the term starts, I have a massive breakdown. That Monday the first week the course was available to look at. We could submit anything, but we could go in and do the work and submit it later. Well. I got in there in my Introduction to Liberal Arts(IDS-100), and boooyyy did I overreact. :) I freaked out. I got overwhelmed because my IDS-100 professor is a very longwinded man. The email I had gotten made everything seem way way more complicated than necessary. And I basically went into spiral mode. 

'is a college education reallllyyyy that important?'

'What's the point?'

'I'm gonna fail anyhow, so why try?'

'My family will think I'm a failure...'

'I shouldn't even try, so I don't fail.'

A whole slue of shit thoughts went through my head, and I took it, man. That little demon in my brain just bitching "Never good enough. Not smart enough! Failure." And I sat there and took it like a little bitch. I got so bad I called my advisor, Good ole Kathrine, and LUCKY FOR ME; she was busy and didn't answer. I had the ability to talk to another advisor, but I didn't wanna sob into a stranger's ear so LOL. I called my dad when I was balls deep into a panic attack, and he came down and talked me out of it, and then told me he'd sit with me when I do classwork so he can help if I need it. Which, It's not really that I need help, I was worried about my comprehension of the information I read in class. Because I'm a very visual learner and one of those that talks shit out. And being online, I'm alone in my room so uh lol But yeah. He talked me down, got me all calmed down. Then the next day, my advisor called and asked why I'd called and she apologized for not being available and I laughed and told her straight "It's better you were busy, Cause I'd have dropped out." and she was shocked. Told her all of what happened and what was going on in my head and she told me she was gonna set up weekly appointments with me after each module opens. a new module opens every Monday. and she said she was gonna call me every Tuesday. I went on a spiel about how I feel ridiculous cause I'm being a burden. And she squashed that thought hella fast. So long story short. I am so blessed to have a support system between my dad and my wonderful advisor Kathrine. Lol

Boooo:

I gained a new allergy and lost an old one. I have no idea how that worked. But. No longer allergic to Soy. But now have a TERRIBLE reaction to all dairy products... Which fuckin blows because I live in Wisconsin, and I L O V E cheese. -_- Cheese hates me. :(BYE GUYS!

Whoops!

Forgot about the smoking bit, this is an Edit lmao Basically - TOTALLY thought I could drop smoking cold turkey cause that's how I'd done it every time I'd quit smoking before. Welp. Not this time :) I was a raging bitch, and a HORRIBLE migraine that was so bad I couldn't do ANYTHING. And to top it all off, I had a panic attack lol So. It's the time of year I usually start to quit anyhow. I'm so weird. I'm a seasonal smoker. Living in Wisconsin I am NOT keen on smoking in below zero temperatures in winter. I'd like to keep my fingers. This year I started smoking earlier than usual because I was out of state where freezing winter temperatures were a minimum of like, 37*F and I'm like *cackles in Wisconsinite* CHILDS PLAY!!! So, I started smoking again in December lol Anyway, now- my dad's in control of my smokes. He gives me my daily allowance in a ziplock bag which made me laugh so fucking hard because just like I actually said to him "I feel like you're my dealer and I'm sneaking something naughty!" lol Right now I'm aloud 10 a day. Which is probably 3-5 less than I usually smoke a day. So. I'm kinda feeling it. But my dads controlling them. So this should be fun. :) That's all! Bye guys!

[mautadite]

december book round up

happy new year’s everyone! i had a pretty good book year this year; completed my goodreads challenge and surpassed it to boot, with a total of 148 books read. 10 less than last year, but still pretty good! :) i read 15 books in december that i’ll talk about now; i’ll hopefully post a yearly round up talking about the best and worst of 2019 some time today. also i’m not sure why goodreads has ballsed up the order but chronin was my last book of the year, not mstsk.

gideon the ninth - tamsin muir ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ very good, just, really good, i had a GOOD TIME with this book. very appealing to me specifically in the way stories about deep loyalty between two people often are. i loved all of the houses in some way, but especially i love gideon and her two lesbian brain cells. a reread is probably necessary for me to wrap my head around all of the world-building/magic/necro stuff but it was all very good. really looking forward to the sequels.  

being hers - anna stone ⭐️⭐️ lesbian bdsm romance between a grad student and a high-powered businesswoman. wasn’t particularly good, but also i didn’t hate it.

introducing mr. winterbourne - joanna chambers ⭐️⭐️⭐️ reread from earlier this year. really cute story of historical romance with a couple who have great chemistry.

mr. winterbourne’s christmas - joanna chambers ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ lysander and adam’s story continued a year or more later. i love house party stories; the ensemble cast thing really works for me somehow. this was super fun, really cute, and the women who i thought were lesbians turned out to indeed be lesbians. yaaaaas.

how to blow it with a billionaire - alexis hall ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ reread in preparation to read the last book of the series. now that i’ve read them all i think this is definitely my favourite, just for how tender it is, and the time they spend getting to know each other and how fucking nerdy caspian is.

how to belong with a billionaire - alexis hall ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ last book in the series. THEY GET HEIR HAPPILY EVER AFTER!!! i have to reiterate that billionaire romances aren’t my thing, and it’s only because i like alexis hall so much and i trust him that i gave this a chance. i’m glad i did. this third book took a few turns i wasn’t expecting, and the long periods of separation made me SO SAD. i loved what it said about abuse and recovery and kink. i just hated that the abuser didn’t die lol.

underground airlines - ben h. winters ⭐️⭐️⭐️ dystopian novel about a timeline in which abraham lincoln was assassinated way before he actually was in real life, and slavery was never abolished in the us (or other places? the book was very NA centric). now, in the 21st century a group of southern states known as the hard four still have legal slavery, and our protag is a black former slave working as a bounty hunter for the gov’t to capture runaways. my biggest problem with this novel is that it seems to cast ol’ abe as The Most Important Reason Why Slavery Was Abolished and because he never got the chance to do what he did then we’re supposed to think it’s completely believable that it never got abolished countrywide. i’m simplifying a lot of things in the book of course, but man, i couldn’t get over that. otherwise: neat premise, skilful writing, tender in unexpected ways. couldn’t help but headcanon the protag as queer.

life in bits - harper bliss, t.b. markinson ⭐️⭐️ contemporary lesbian romance. a successful photographer returns to her home town to convalesce after suffering a stroke; has a fling with a cute nurse that quickly turns into something more. i... didn’t really like it lol. :/ and i usually like harper bliss books a lot! idk how the authors handled the co-writing, but i didn’t like the writing style, and the main character just wasn’t appealing. and she was a grumpy older dyke which is usually CATNIP to me!! i just wasn’t interested in them as people, or in their relationship.

his cocky valet - cole mccade ⭐️⭐️⭐️ contemporary m/m romance about a spoilt rich kid who’s suddenly propelled to the top of his father’s business empire under traumatic circumstances, and the valet he hires who helps him keep his life on track. tropey as heck, but in a good way. got super intense kink-wise, in a way i didn’t exactly enjoy, but i think it was a good read overall

fake fiancee - clara reese ⭐️⭐️ f/f romance, two friends pretend to be fiancees but then fall in love for real. dawn needs to keep her uncle’s inheritance, which will allow her to open a home for battered women. her contractor gina has a sick brother who needs surgery. they pretend to be engaged to satisfy the will, and profit! cute, tropey in exactly the way i like, but the writing just didn’t have anything to recommend to it. hot tho.

borealis investigations 1-3 - gregory ashe ⭐️⭐️⭐️ two best friends operating a private detective agency that specialises in cases that involve the lgbtqia community. the best thing about this series was the chemistry between north and shaw. it was SO GOOD and the slow burn that moved them from best friends to lovers was CHEFS KISS so good. and all the delicious mutual pining. the mysteries in all three books were competent enough. kept me guessing. and i like ashe’s writing style and humour! but there were so many irritating things. an almost all lily-white cast in the first book (which is fine! write what you know!) with one single black character who was of course, predatory, evil and lusting after the innocent white boy. lots of little “haha sjws” moments (mostly involving pari, their indian temp whom i loved, but man she got done dirty) . making fun of neo-pronouns. fights about nothing to induce drama. and the writing style started to grate on me at some point. it’s frustrating because i could have so easily LOVED these books. instead i just liked them.

my sister, the serial killer - oyinkan brathwaite ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ mystery/thriller set in nigeria. korede is the quintessential long-suffering older sister to ayoola. ayoola is beautiful beyond words, gets all the attention, and everyone thinks she can do no wrong. but korede knows better, because ayoola has a bad habit of killing her boyfriends, and calling korede to help her clean up the mess. oops! the book starts with her third murder. i loved this; predictable in some ways, but well written, wsitty, and very engaging because of the culture and these terrible wonderful characters.

chronin volume 2 - alison wilgus ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ conclusion to the chronin two-parter; a fun time travelling romp that grabbed me by the whole heart. mirai struggles to confront the events that have transpired in this new past, has some revelations, and saves the damn day. i’m so glad this was my last book of the year, purely for how HAPPY it made me. i read the last forty or so pages with my hand on my heart. 

and that’s it for december, and 2019! it’s been an up and down year for me personally, but it’s been a good year in terms of books. really happy that i’ve been able to continue reading a lot; reading was the love of my teenage years and reconnecting with that, with just the love of getting lost in a book for a few hours... it’s great. admittedly i read a lot of schmoopy gay romance but hey guess what? romance novels are good actually.

for 2020 i hope to read more of my two other loves, science fiction and fantasy. and if i can get scifi and fantasy that’s also gay, even better! like i said i’ll post my yearly round up later today hopefully, but if you’re interested, here’s my year in books from goodreads in the mean time.

currently reading my first book of the decade: a land so wild by elyssa warkentin.

[king-cotton-candy]

Chapter 3: Her Choice

(A/N: Hey y’all. I feel like today’s gonna be a long day, so I’m probably going to post more than one chapter today? I’m very broken right now and can’t draw because my arm is sunburnt to a crisp and it’s hurting me a lot. Anywhoozle, please enjoy, umm, feel free to cry, cuz like this is kind of an emotional chapter. Lol like the other two weren’t haha good joke. There’s major DJWifi in this chapter haha so like I guess enjoy that too)

I know those who are reading this are probably a little confused as to what’s happening, so I’ll do my best to explain it, even though I wasn’t there. The doctor had filled everyone in that Marinette was going to be able to walk in a couple of months, which was quite literally miraculous, if you get what I’m saying. The surgery, in lamemens terms, was mainly just the surgeons screwing and gluing everything back together so that everything would heal properly. All of Marinette’s ribs were broken, and even though she should’ve broken her spine as well, she just broke her left femur and both of her arms. She would have bruised organs, but nothing worse than that internally. She would definitely be in a whole lot of pain the next two or three months, but it amazed the doctors that she even made it to the hospital alive.

Now, Alya and Nino were dozing in the chairs that were by Marinette’s bedside. Sabine and Tom were still speaking with a doctor about the injuries their daughter had sustained, and what physical therapy she would need to take to get her back to walking. The worst of the morning was over, now they all just had to get through the rest of the day. The Dupain-Chengs closed the bakery for the day. It was a given that they were taking the day off from people so that they could be with their daughter. Alya and Nino had already called their parents to let them know what went down and where they were.

It looked like things could only get better from there. A wise man once said, “the nice thing about hitting rock bottom is that the only place left to go is up.” I honestly couldn’t agree more. Although, it could’ve been so much worse for Marinette, and we’re all thankful that it wasn’t. None of us could even imagine what it would be like without her. Marinette, the confident, creative, and very, very intelligent girl that practically every guy in the school fell for at some point. Marinette, the absolutely brave and bold girl who would stand up to the typical school bullies, even if the bully was a snotty rich girl(not saying any names). Marinette… she was going to make it, and she was going to come back stronger than ever!

Alya woke up with a start, her heart racing. “Marinette-!”

With a quick glance around the white room, her memories came flooding back. Alya sighed with what could be called relief, but she didn’t actually feel relieved. Her best friend had tried to end her life four hours earlier and she was still super shaken up. The only thing that could’ve made it worse would be if she’d seen Marinette jump. Scratch that. If Marinette had died, that would be worst. Alya knew that. She was so scared and she wished she could’ve been better for her friend. Alya felt like a failure. Marinette called her and asked her to talk her out of jumping, and Alya just couldn’t seem to do it.

“Babe..?” Nino grumbled, sitting up and straightening his glasses. “Are… are you okay?”

“Ye… yeah, Nino… I’m okay.” Alya forced a smile as she lied.

His eyes narrowed with concern. “Alya.”

“What, Nino?” She turned her head to look him in the eye, not realizing that she was crying.

“Are you okay?” He repeated, reaching his hand over to her face and wiping a tear from her cheek.

“I-I-” Alya stuttered, her vision blurring from her tears. “I-I almost l-l-lost my best friend, N-N-Nino!”

He winced, understanding written all over his face as he got down on his knees in front of her. “Alya, baby…”

“Wh-wh-what’s worse is that she-she wanted to die, Nino! I can’t imagine wh-what made her feel like she had to die!” Alya sobbed, biting down hard on her lip and trying to quiet herself.

“I know, babe, I know…” Nino wrapped his arms around his girlfriend’s neck, trying his best to comfort her.

“Is it my fault..?” Alya whispered, trying to see through the tears. “Did she jump because… because I couldn’t talk her down..?”

Nino pulled away and glared into her eyes. “First of all, don’t you dare.”

“Wh… what?” She was taken aback by his angry tone.

“Don’t you dare blame yourself for this. Ever. She made the decision to jump, Alya, you didn’t tell her to.” He declared, brushing some of her hair from her face. “And second, you are her best friend! I can’t imagine how much of an awesome best friend you are if she called you to talk her down! She trusts you!”

Alya scowled at the ground. “Trusted!”

“Stop. She trusts you enough to tell you that she wanted to jump. It doesn’t make all this your fault just because she jumped.” Nino gently pressed his forehead to hers, immediately calming her down.

“N-N-Nino…” Alya gripped tightly to his shirt, shaking violently with tears.

“Babe, look.” He lifted her chin so that they could meet eyes. “It’s not your fault, okay? You did an amazing job trying to talk her down.” She shook her head. “Trying, Nino! I tried, and I failed!”

“You also have never done that before! But look at how brave you were! How calm you stayed even though you knew she was in danger! If that were Adrien, and he called me, I know I’d probably freeze up like a coward! You held out for her even though you were scared.” Nino told her.

Alya sniffed, and with a weak laugh, she said, “... In no way was it a perfect first attempt to talk someone down from suicide.”

“Yeah, but it was a pretty dang good try.” Nino smiled softly, lifting his head to give her a quick peck on the lips.

The two laughed sadly to themselves, both trying to get a grip on the grim situation. It was rough, neither of them were going to deny that. But just because it was rough didn’t mean they weren’t going to get out of it. In fact, Nino’s positive thinking had Alya feeling better, even if it was only a little bit. Just the fact that he was there, sharing the burden with her, was more comforting than almost anything else in the world. They were going to get through this and it was going to get better. It felt like a guarantee.

First: https://king-cotton-candy.tumblr.com/post/186355804383/chapter-1-unexpected-jump

Previous: https://king-cotton-candy.tumblr.com/post/186390433493/chapter-2-luckier-than-ladybug

Next: https://king-cotton-candy.tumblr.com/post/186408092113/chapter-4-my-entrance

[doux-ciel]

Sanctuary

A/N: Hello my lovely angels ✨👼🏻🏹 I’m back with a little one shot, it’s not too dramatic lol at least not as dramatic as I would make it. I’m just trying to write stories that make me smile. And I hope this story makes you smile too!!

Tagged: @youngdumbxlit @cvlms @jess---writes @jadeswritinggarden @bambimattel @requiemdelune @writing-under-the-stars @bzrtales @viviscreams @thewriterkatie @erinisawriter @seraphilth @godxblooded

*let me know if you want to be added or removed*

*Im going to have a link to my post in which it asks if you want to be tagged in my WIP’S*

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Moving her glasses to the side Sumi Turner rubs her eyelids slowly; suppressing a yawn. Hearing the heart monitor beeping softly behind her. Turning her head over to the patient currently laying the bed. Sumi’s eyes scan him, looking at his chest rise and fall. Smiling to herself she places her hand over her heart. Admiring her work, knowing that one more person will live another day makes her job worth it. Untangling her legs from the chair she places her limbs onto the white granite floors. Sumi walks out the room, having been there all night she knew she had to give herself a break. Her feet leading her to the front desk, after telling on of the nurses to give her any updates on her patient, she feels someone tapping her shoulder. As she turns her body around she is met with one of her co-workers, Kirby.

Kirby holding a drink carrier in her hands, examines the young surgeon with her one eyebrow raised she asks, “Did you spend the night here again?”

Holding her tongue Sumi honestly didn’t want to answer but she could tell there was no lying to Kirby. She already knew she could see the puffiness under eyes and the handprint on her face from the sleeping in that very uncomfortable chair for half the night. Sumi’s mind went to something else, Kirby’s attitude. It was different today; Sumi was confused as to why Kirby was in her face all of a sudden. Not even 7 hours earlier they got into a heated discussion and it didn’t end pretty. Sighing, Sumi rests her body on the desk her back digging into a clipboard. “Yeah I wanted to make sure my patient was ok throughout the night.”

Reaching behind her she moved the wooden clipboard away from her aching back. Looking at the drink carrier in Kirby’s hand Sumi’s nose recognizes her favorite coffee. Yes it came from the crappy hospital cafeteria but still, after a long shift it felt like liquid gold in her body. Swallowing her lips she glances up at Kirby’s face pointing to the cup holder. “I really need some of that”

Handing Sumi a cup of the 2 coffees that sit in the holder Kirby chuckles, “Well it's actually for you, it’s a peace offering from last night.”

“You mean because you?”

Kirby puts up her free hand, silencing Sumi. “Let’s not get into that right now”

Accepting the offer Sumi grabs the cup, taking a sip.

It felt like liquid gold. Being present in the moment, feeling the heat of the hot beverage going into her body instantly brings her peace. Humming to herself Sumi grins a bit, her eyes meet Kirby’s who was staring at her. “Thanks anyway...I really appreciate this”

Kirby’s gives Sumi a nod with her eyes closed. “Your welcome”

After a bit of uncomfortable silence Kirby starts the basic conversation of adults, asking about kids. Which Sumi absolutely despises, “How’s Peyton doing?”

She was rolling her eyes inside her mind, she hated it when people try and make a more awkward situation more awkward. Setting the cup of coffee on the countertop of the desk, she cracks her knuckles. “With my mom....she honestly makes me wish I didn’t have a kid”

“Sumi!!”

Wincing at Kirby’s voice going up a few octaves, she could feel that anger she had just 7 hours ago rising back up. Looking around the hallway she sees a family member of a patient walking down the hall. “What?! Your not with her when we go home, she’s only 8 but she is a terror.”

Kirby eyes brown like pools of honey give Sumi a concerning look. “Well your going home right? You need to rest.”

“I was wanting to maybe sleep in the on call room and just-“

“No!! Sumi I get it you love your job but you have a family you have to see...and not just a couple days out the week”

“Kirby I need to be here for my patient, he needs me”

“Your family needs you more” she argues.

Not that Sumi wanted to admit it but she knows Kirby was right. Unlike her mother she wanted to actually be present in her daughter's life. “Your right....I think Peyton should be at school by now so the house will be quiet, maybe I can stop by 580 Street.”

Kirby, who was not familiar with Sumi discussing her personal life is taken aback by her announcement. “580 Street?”

“It’s a house I used to live in” Sumi answered.

“Why-“

Not even 3 seconds later they both hear a flatline dial and a loud beeping noise occurs throughout the hallway. A bunch of nurses rush to the room where Sumi’s patient who just had surgery was laying.

“He’s down!!”

“Sumi we need you in here!!”

“Starting compressions!!”

Not thinking twice Sumi’s legs were starting to run to the small 32 sq. foot space when she feels that same soft hand grab her shoulder. “Sumi I got this....now go!”

Leaving the hospital Sumi heads down the road, past the sav-n mart and the piggly wiggly. Looking around fairly fast moving town in the middle of nowhere she feels happy to be seeing the sun rise. Rolling down her window she feels the somewhat warm air now prickle at her skin.

Stopping by the store she grabs a fruit basket. As she was in the parking lot eating some crappy Burger King hash browns she had gotten prior to coming here she looks in the back at the basket.

It looks tacky

Throwing her hash brown cup in the bag she promptly returns the dreadful fruit basket and instead gets a candle from the home section.

580 street is where she was headed and she wanted to make sure the family that was moving in knew her well. She wanted to make a good first impression.

20 minutes pass and she is now turning into the driveway of 580 street, she sees the red door she has grown to love.

Sumi seeing the new family move in, greets the mother and her children. As she was looking around the house, she made sure everything was clean and put in their correct position just as she had left it.

Going upstairs she looks in all of bedrooms, first she goes to the one on the left. The smallest bedroom out of the three, not seeing much but a suitcase, a bed, a dresser and a mirror in the room. She goes on to the next room, the second biggest room in the house. There was 2 sets of bunk beds, a dresser, and a toy box. Something on one of the beds caught Sumi’s eyes.

A teddy bear.

A teddy bear that looked familiar, she used to have one just like it when she was a kid. The one she left when she they left their old life. Grabbing the bear she looks at the button eyes and feels the faux fur on its exterior.

A voice interrupts her thoughts, “Is something wrong?” Jumping out of fear Sumi meets the face of the woman who would be staying here for the next 2-21/2 years.

Catching her breath, Sumi replies while placing the bear back on the bed. “No....nothing wrong just remembering old memories when my family first moved into this house, how grateful we were.”

The mother holding her infant daughter gives Sumi a hug. “Now your making me and my kids grateful.”

They hear a thump coming from downstairs, and a tiny squeal from one of the children. Trina pinches the bridge of her nose, walking out into the hallway she yells down below. “Sierra what did I tell you about running in here?!”

The child replies, “We just got here momma you haven’t told me anything”

“You watch your mouth, you hear?” Frustrated, Trina grips the stair beam; her knuckles turning red. She rolls her eyes and turns to Sumi handing her the baby. “Can you take her for a minute?”

Sumi reaches out and grabs the sleeping infant from her, cradling the young child in her arms. Just then a thought quickly came to Sumi about the extra room downstairs. As Sumi sees Trina quickly walking down the stairs She calls out to her, “Also can you leave the room downstairs open...I’m leaving that for a guest who will be staying here with you.”

“Someone’s staying here with us?”

“She’s staying only for a little bit, until I find something more permanent.”

“Who is she?”

“She goes by Mama bear.”

Flashback

The sound of rain

Sumi remembers the sound of the soft patter of the rain on the window.

Mama Bear hates it when you get too close, she fears you could fall in the glass. 

Nobody knew her real name so everyone just called her Mama Bear.

She took care of 15 children all from the age of 3 months-12 years old in what we call a back alley nursery.

We were the children of the mothers who were prostitutes.

Our mothers might not have regular 9-5 jobs like the rest of the world but they work hard, if not harder than them.

And Mama Bear was the one who took care of us when they were out doing god knows what with god knows who.

All I know was, she was all we had.

If not for her we would all probably be in the system.

We stayed in a small 500 sq. foot apartment which smelled of piss mixed with household cleaner.

She bathed us, fed us, sometimes if she had time she would even teach us, whether that be spelling or writing. But most of the time she was the only one looking after all of us.

Being at the tender age of 9 I was over being stuck in the house with 15 other kids for most of the day when I could be outside playing.

But I knew we didn’t live in a safe neighborhood, we didn’t live where you could just run around and play outside.

When I would come home from school I would be embarrassed to walk down “Easy Street” where Mama bear lived. Where everyone knew you only lived here unless you were in a gang or you were a street walker.

Momma told me one time that even taking out the trash is dangerous, you could get mugged right then and there.

Momma, her real name is Odette Turner. She always would tell me Odette means wealth, she never knew why her mom named her that because she was anything but wealthy right now. Trying to raise 4 kids, my siblings and I have never experienced anything but poverty.

She always says she’s going to quit every 2 years or if she gets pregnant again, but she never does. She has been working the streets for more than 10 years.

When I was small I remember momma having a regular job, she worked as a receptionist at a local law firm. When the business failed and she lost her job, we were living on the streets for a while. One of her old friends from childhood Junie wanted her to come work at her club.

She worked as a stripper for the first 4 years of my life, then she had my sister Evelyn soon after she started. 2 years had passed and momma had another job and a pimp that came with it.

Prostitution was something I thought you did when you wanted to meet new friends but momma told me it wasn’t anything like that.

Fantome was his name and he was a scary man. Everyone knew not cross him or else no one would ever hear from you again.

Although he was a well feared individual he had his moments. He gave us shelter when we needed it, he would give us food when we were hungry and sometimes he would even get us toys. Although he was nice to us he wouldn’t get along with momma. Him and momma would argue a lot, when he was mad he would take her money and she would have to go back on the street to get some of it back.

One day when we were out at the market, I was holding Evelyn’s hand waiting by the flowers. Momma and her pregnant belly was furiously arguing with the store owner as to why she couldn’t get some apples for free since they fell on the floor. While Evelyn was crying I spotted a bear on the street, a brown dirty teddy bear.

I knew I shouldn’t have left my sister alone to fend for herself but it was just a few seconds. While I looked back and forth seeing if anybody was watching me, I let go of Evelyn’s hand and shot out in the street, grabbing the teddy bear I smiled to myself as I felt it’s button eyes and soft exterior. Maybe this would make my sister feel better. Maybe I can get her to stop crying.

I bumped into a heavyset older lady when I was on my way back to the market.

“Now you know it’s not nice to take toys that aren’t yours”

I bow my head ashamed that I had gotten caught, my arms extend out to give the bear back to the mysterious woman. My voice was hushed. “I’m sorry...was this yours?”

“No it isn’t mine, but it is one of my children’s, She threw the bear out the window because she wanted more crackers...my poor Tilly doesn’t listen.”

An arm snatched me up and I instantly knew it was my mother. “Sumi what the hell are you doing out here?”

The elderly woman places her aging hands on top of my mother's arms that was gripping me tight. The woman had kind eyes, her skin tan like leather and her eyes blue like ocean. She gets snappy with my mother, “Excuse me miss but I don’t think you should be talking to her like that”

We all hear another voice coming into the already heated conversation. A man who was not far from the scene whistled. “Hey sugar, you wanna come over to my house later?”

Momma cursed through her teeth, “Not in front of my kids”

“You a red hottie?” The woman asked.

Red Hottie = Prostitute.

Momma slanted her eyes at her, “What’s it to you?”

“Where do these kids stay while your out?”

“At home where they belong”

I see the woman staring at momma and then her belly, I see her lips purse. “I see you having another....if you need someone to look after them while your working....I could-“

“I don’t need your help!!” My mother yells causing everyone’s attention onto us.

One of my moms friends rolls up to the scene looking very angry at momma, she nudges her in the shoulder which in turn pushes me back. “Girl why are you talking to mama bear like that?”

Momma’s tone gets soft, probably realizing she was being mean to the lady. “Is that who she is?”

“Yeah...that’s her, she helps take care of Sonny when I’m away. Hell she doesn’t charge that much either.”

Letting go of my hand she rubs her skull, “Shit im sorry....I didn’t-“

Mama bear gives momma a smile,“It’s ok honey...is she your oldest?”

Pushing me to the front I’m met with her again, handing her the bear. “Yeah Sumi is my angel, she’s a wild card though. You might have to keep an eye on her.”

“Oh trust me I will never let her out of my sight.”

She was telling the truth, she never let me out of her sight until I was 10.

When I turned 10 that’s when my life would change forever.

 ¤ ¤ ¤ 

“Libre comme l’air” Odette whispered to Sumi while doing her hair.

Sumi who was sitting in between her mothers legs giggled at the funny words her mother said. “What does that mean momma?”

“Free as a bird.”

Looking up into the sky Sumi sees birds passing them by, watching them soar above made her feel happy they could go wherever they wanted.

They could be free.

“Why can’t we fly like birds momma?”

“Because Sumi.....we don’t have wings.”

“But you always call me your angel and don’t angels have wings?”

“Of course angels have wings, your wings just haven’t come in yet.”

“When are they coming? I want to fly away far from here and take you, Evelyn and the twins.”

“I wish Sumi.....I wish.”

WeIl Odette got her wish.

After 5 years of staying on easy street they finally got out.

It just wasn’t the way they had planned.

 ¤ ¤ ¤ 

“Momma why do we have to go!!”

Sumi saw as her mother was running around the apartment scrambling to get our things in a bag. She pauses yelling at the child. “Because I said so Sumi now hurry up and pack your things!!”

It was the morning just before school started, Sumi was confused because she had no idea where her siblings were. Blinking her eyes 2 times Sumi comes to her senses and yells back. “Momma what about school?”

“What about it? I’ll home school you!”

“No you can’t, you dropped out in 6th grade”.

“Sumi now is not the time to get smart with me!!”

Sumi‘s eyes start to water, “Why are we leaving!!”

“You wanna know why Sumi?! You really wanna know!”

“Yes!!!”

“Because I stole money from Fantome. Now he’s on his way over here and we need to go before he comes and hurts us.”

A light bulb went off in the 10 years old head. she runs to her mother who was in the bedroom

Grabbing a handful of pampers for the twins. She tugs on her mom’s dress. “Mama Bear!! She can fix this”

Odette shakes her head, tears pouring down her face. “No she can’t Sumi, no one can fix this.”

“Why did you steal money from him? You know stealing is wrong.”

“So is not standing up for yourself. Now either you pack your shit or your not taking anything!!”

They hear whistles outside.

“Dede”

“Oh Dede”

Odette grabbed the bag and took Sumi’s hand, “We don’t have time, let’s go!!”

As they were on their way out the apartment door and into the hallway, Sumi pulls away from her mother's arm. Running back to the apartment she yells behind her. “Momma wait!! Teddy is still in there!!”

Odette screams for her daughter setting the bag down, “Sumi you come back here right now!!”

Just as Sumi was about to enter the apartment. Odette snatches her back, hiding behind the stairs that lead up to the next floor. Odette slides the bag with her foot to them, in an attempt to hide their location. Odette sweaty hands covering Sumi’s mouth, she quickly shushes her.

Two groups of men came stomping through the building, one of them knocks on the door of Odette Turner.

“I know you in there!!”

One of the men orders the other two to kick the door down.

As they kicked the door, Odette and Sumi escaped up the stairs and out the back exit door. They got in a car courtesy of Odette long time friend Buffy driving away from the place they called home for 10+ years and just like a bird they were finally free.

¤ ¤ ¤

Odette stole 30,000 from Fantome, its safe to say the family of 5 were probably never going back home again. They moved a couple of towns over, not knowing a soul they could get a fresh start on life. After 10 years of working the streets, she was finally free.

The family is now staying in a trailer home, Odette didn't want to spend all of the money on a big house or a 3 bedroom apartment knowing all she had was that money in her bank account.

After a couple of months the money was starting to run low so she came up with a reasonable solution. She started a new job at the local grocery store; after a couple of months she got promoted to manager, taking care of her 4 kids all by herself.

Sumi was angry about the move.

Angry at her mother for not giving Fantome back his money.

Angry at herself for not saying goodbye to Mama Bear.

Angry that she couldn’t grab her teddy bear when they had to leave so suddenly.

The 10 year old resented her mother and the fact that they had to start a new life, start a new life without Mama Bear.

After 2 years of attending Huntersville Middle she adjusted, making new friends, attending sleep overs, and making new memories.

Memories she would cherish forever.

By High School she was a very hot headed teen, often getting into fights and getting detention all the time.

Odette didn't know how to steer her eldest daughter in the right direction, she didn't know why she was acting out.

One particular morning which happened to be around the holiday season Sumi had headbutted a classmate, the student retailted and they got into a huge fight in which the teacher got involved and got sent to hospital. Odette had to miss the rest of the day to try and reason

with the principal. After an hour of her arguing with him, It didn’t take long for the principal to come to a decision. He didn't want to expel her so he had given her 3 days of suspension and she had lunch detention for the next 3 weeks.

The real reason why Sumi was so aggressive with her classmates was because someone found out that her mother is still out in the streets.

Odette was still a prostitute.

All of the laughter that would occur when Sumi would walk into the lunch room.

All of the snide remarks by them as she would change in the locker room.

All of them mocking her, teasing her, belittling her.

It was all too much for the 17 year old to handle, so in turn she fought anyone who say her mothers name out their mouth.

Many years of anger management and counseling made Sumi realize that violence was not the answer to everything.

It made her realize that selling her body is all her mother knows, she has been doing it for as long as she can remember.

At age 18 is when the light would start to shine through on their very gray lives.

At 18 her mother met Juno.

Juno was a local police officer, who was well known in the town and whose wife just had a baby girl.

Nobody knew the secret life he had.

Nobody knew instead of arresting the prostitutes on his late night shift, he would sleep with them.

One of them being Odette.

Odette was nothing like the 18-24 year olds who would just wear a skimpy top and try to blow you for $100. She knew what she was doing and lord knows she did it well.

Being 36 years old she was well experienced in what it takes to get your money's worth of a man.

Juno was crazy for Odette and Odette felt the same way, but when days would pass. Weeknights would go by of them staying in a crappy motel room. Odette getting on her knees and him washing up afterwards because his wife needs him got stale pretty quick.

She needed more from him.

She craved more from him.

She got pregnant by him.

She blackmailed him into getting them out the trailer and into a 3 bedroom house.

It worked.

"Isn't this house wonderful?" Odette exclaimed as she put the key through the red door.

"Momma you know your wrong for lying to the man like that." Sumi sighed while walking into their new home. Her brother and sisters rushed passed her quickly running up the stairs to choose which bedroom they want.

She was pregnant but got an abortion, her exact words were. "I'm not having a white man's baby"

So she lied and said she lost the baby but she needed the house for her kids to have a stable environment to grow up in.

He let her have the house, he took care of all the bills and explained to her to not tell a soul what he had done.

She obliged and we never saw him again.

Sumi thought she would follow in her mother's footsteps and become a street walker like she was. But she knew better, she knew her sisters were looking up to her and she’d be damned if all her family was, was a bunch of people fucking for money to get something to eat.

She decided she wanted to make something of herself, she wanted to become someone that contributed to society.

She attended college and after many, many, many hard years she became a Cardiac Surgeon. And she couldn't see herself doing anything else.

She knew this was her calling.

Buying a decent sized apartment for her mother and siblings she knew that was the right thing.

580 street was on its last leg and it wasn’t safe for her mother to stay their anymore.

Sumi starting the remodeling on the house meets a contractor named Esai.

Esai was the best and worst thing to ever happen to Sumi Turner.

After dating for 1 year & 8 months, the house was finished and so was the relationship.

Sumi was a workaholic, always seeing patients, scrubbing in on surgeries, even spending the night at work. Rumors spread quickly around town and it was revealed that Esai was sleeping around with other women. When Esai found out that she knew about the other women, he knew he had to get in her good graces. Sumi knew she would never find a man like Esai, plus she felt he was sincere about the adultery.

Instead of ending the relationship she took him back.

He kept his word, 2 more years would pass when the couple got married stayed in the house with the red door. Although things looked good on the outside of the house it was anything but pretty on the inside.

After marriage counseling, talking to their local pastor, they even went on a couples retreat to Greece. They decided to go their separate ways, Sumi stayed in the house while Esai left and went to live back home with his old roommate.

Sumi wasn’t fond of kids, of course growing up she was around them constantly but by no means was she ready to be a mom. But life knows how to throw curve balls, unexpectedly Sumi became pregnant. She knew Esai had always wanted kids and she knew he would want to be in their child's life. So the now exes were bound to see each other for the years to come.

When their daughter Peyton was born Sumi thought she couldn’t love anybody or anything more than her. She knew it would be hard taking care of a newborn with her just starting her medical career but she knew she had it in her.

Mama bear taught her to take care of the people she loved, so she did just that.

Moving back in with Odette wasn’t the plan but she knew, she needed help. After her maternity leave ran out and Sumi was back to work and Odette was a full-time grandma, showing Peyton the love and attention that her actual children had never received.

After many months of staying in the 3 bedroom apartment, Sumi needed a change.

A change of space for Peyton and Sumi.

Of course she could go back to 580 Street but that house didn’t feel like home.

So she wanted to make a new one.

Moving into a small 2 bedroom one-story house Sumi and Peyton lived well.

The house with the red door sat empty for 3,485 days until one day Sumi had a thought.

A thought that would change her overall look on life for the better.

580 street became a sanctuary for women with children who didn’t have a home.

Sumi thought becoming a surgeon was her destiny, But helping other women who didn’t have anything, was more rewarding. Seeing how her mother struggled for years to provide a stable home for them really pushed Sumi to be that light in the darkness. To make that walk way from poverty to middle class living.

She needed to do this not only for the families she meets; but for herself as well.

End of Flashback

¤ ¤ ¤

Peyton, Sumi’s daughter was in the back seat of the car waiting for her mother to come out the bank making a withdrawal.

The May weather was very humid but not scorching hot like June or July, grabbing her Ipad Peyton begins to play a game.

Sumi emerges from the building, money in her hand and her mind clear on one thing.

Getting Mama bear back home with her.

Sumi recognizes her old neighborhood, it has changed a lot since she left, some of the stores that she had gone to as a child disappeared. Her old elementary school got tore down, even  Mama bears apartment building looked abandoned. Parking on the side of the street Sumi looks into the windows of the old apartment, seeing nothing but the light in the hallway.

Her attention moves towards the back seat where her daughter sat, sleeping. She didn’t tell her where they were going, she just announced they were going on a girls trip just the two of them and they were to meet a special friend along the way.

After a few minutes of waking Peyton up and grabbing their bags, they both walk into the building where Sumi stayed all those years ago. Reaching the front door Sumi takes in a breath, she doesn’t know if she’s even here, if she’s dead, she didn’t know anything. Putting one foot in front of the other, her hand gripping Peyton’s she knocks on the door.

No Answer.

She tries again.

Still no answer.

Peyton starts to whine about how scared she was, Sumi clicks her tongue, placing her hand on the door knob and turning it open.

The door opened.

The light shining from the hallway reveals an old frail woman, her skin had lost its color, her hair was dirty and tangled, her eyes are still blue like the ocean. She was in the kitchen eating some crackers, pleading with Sumi, “Please don’t take me away, I will listen and clean up after I finish please let me live here….my children might come back.”

“Mama bear?”

Peyton was very afraid of the dark and not having any lights on really bothered the 8 year old child. Leaving her mother’s side she feels across the wall searching for a light switch and when she finds, she flicks it on.

Mama bear frantically runs towards to child, not to scold her but to turn the lights back off, she then retreats back to her crackers, taking little bites of the salty food. “No lights….if they see  they will know someone’s in here”

As Mama bear ran Peyton caught a whiff of her body odor, she stands back by Sumi whispering. “Mom she smells”

Sumi who couldn’t believe what she was seeing, she of course wanted to hug Mama bear so bad, but she knew it was too early for that. She quickly embraced Peyton in a hug patting her bum laughing at her daughter’s comment. “Shh...I know.”

As the mother and daughter got settled into the very dark apartment, they decide to light some candles throughout the house. Sumi knew the power was still on in the building so that meant the heat and water was on as well. They both decided to give her a hot bath, Peyton was in charge of washing her hair while Sumi was in charge of washing her body. While they were waiting for the water to fill up the claw foot tub Peyton and her two high puffs start to brag about her mother to Mama bear.  “Mom knows how to make the perfect bath! She can do other cool things as well, like make my hair pretty for picture day and she makes really good grilled cheese.”

Mama bear shows the little teeth she had left to the child, observing her face, she touches her cheek feeling the soft skin of Peyton's face. “And who are you?”

“I’m Peyton”

“Peyton, your not one of children”

“No” Peyton replies shaking her head.

Shutting off the water from the tub Sumi Places her hand in checking the temperature making sure it's not too hot, but also not too cold. Satisfied with the temperature she walks over to Mama bear kneeling in front of her. “Mama bear….it’s me Sumi”

Giving Sumi a blank look she starts to take off her clothes.

Sumi not wanting to believe she didn’t recognize her squeezes her hands, her manicured fingernails digging into her palm. Turning her attention over at Peyton it seems as though she didn’t have the shampoo bottle in her hand, Sumi tells her to fetch a bottle out the bag in the living room and then they will get started.

Sumi while helping her with her pants, bends down grabbing her foot and pulling it out the leg of the pants asks again, this time emotion evident in her voice. “Mama you really don’t remember me?”

Mama bears hand lands on Sumi’s back it had two meanings, one for balancing herself to not fall and two for comfort. Lifting her other foot out she replies, “Sumi you think I’d forget that beautiful face of yours?”

As they were walking to the bath water she questions Sumi, “Why didn’t you visit?”

Sumi was afraid she would ask that question but she knew it was bound to come up. She had rehearsed it so many times in her head as to how she was going to answer. But nothing just seemed right, she answered honestfully, “I was busy”

Mama bear settles into the water, “Too busy to come see mama?”

Looking behind her Sumi checks to see if Peyton was nearby, not seeing anything she turns back around. Letting out a sigh, her eyes flutter as she thinks about her answer. “You knew how dangerous it was for me to come back.” Thinking about way they left when she was 10 years old, how Fantome said he would go to the ends of the earth to find us. Some say he got locked up, others say he’s still on the streets and a sprinkle of people say he cleaned up, got out the game and got a real career. Nobody knew the truth but Sumi didn’t want to take that risk of being here long to run into him. Mainly for the well being of Peyton.

As Sumi got the wash cloth ready she dipped it in the water, taking it out and placing some soap on the cloth. Lifting up her arms Sumi starts to scrub away all the dirt and dead skin off of Mama bears armpits. Mama bear quietly states. “It shouldn’t matter…..I clothed you, I bathed you, I hugged you when you needed it, I took care of you like you were my own. Your still my child Sumi, although my mind is leaving me these days. One thing I’ll never forget is how all of my children impacted my life, you all made me feel whole. But no one came to visit….no one came to see how I was doing, if I was ok.”

Hearing that made Sumi wish she had came sooner, to check up on her, even a letter would have made her day. But nothing, for 12 years Sumi not once thought she would ever come here, but for Mama bear she would do anything. Continuing to wash her up Sumi’s lips slowly started trembling and her nose was starting to run, sniffling while holding tears back she cries out, “Mama I came back for you….I came back to take you-”

Peyton’s feet come running up to tub, bottle in hand she steps closer to Mama Bear, “I can start on her hair now mom!”

Turning her face over to the wall Sumi uses her arm to wipe her face. Both of the adults chuckle as the child pours some shampoo into her hands, she starts to work the shampoo in her hair. Seeing it foam up excites the young girl, she giggles as she molds Mama bears hair into a mohawk. Sumi smiles and continues to wash her up, thinking about how life would’ve been like if she never left.

Would have she became a surgeon?

Would she have Peyton?

Would her mother still be alive?

A hand placed on top of Sumi’s breaks her thoughts, looking down she sees a very bony wrist knowing it was Mama bear’s she felt safe.

Their eyes meet and she takes Sumi’s hand bringing it up to her sunken in cheeks. “My Sumi….a mama herself”

¤ ¤ ¤

As Sumi and Peyton slept on one of the couches, Sumi’s mind couldn’t stop racing and she thinks back to when they had just arrived in town. Stopping by the old market where Odette used to argue with the owner daily. Still the same but of course the owner died years ago so one of his daughters had taken over. Sumi was getting some essentials for Peyton and herself, also for Mama Bear in case she can’t take care of herself. As she got to the register the daughter started talking about Momma bear and what has happened over the past 12 years. “Her son took her to a nursing home after last thanksgiving, even though she started to lose her mental faculties little by little bit she was still going strong, raising all those women’s kid. CPS raided the place and took all the children away from her. Of course the city wants to tear down the property and make some new apartments. Of course her son was on board, and is still trying to get her to leave the place but she keeps going back every time.”

An unsettling feeling set in the pit of Sumi’s stomach but she didn’t know why, ringing up the total the Indian woman repeated. “That will be $26.68.”

¤ ¤ ¤

It was early morning; 6:45 a.m. to be exact, Sumi was sitting by the window looking out into the sky, watching it change colors as the day moves forwards.The suns starting to peek out in between the buildings. She has always loved to wake up early and experience the earth right as the moon falls and the sun rises again. Hearing her daughters snores tickled the mother, She swore she was raised by bears with a snore that loud. Knowing today was Sunday and its Esai’s week to pick up Peyton, Sumi knows he’s going to be upset. Her ex husband was an amazing father, never a day late to pick Peyton up, always going to her school events, never complaining about how hard it is to take care of her knowing he has very little income.

He was the father Sumi wanted for Peyton. But Sumi often times thought about the way she would treat her daughter, not giving her cuddles at night when she was scared, missing out on field trips when she’d be at work. Being a parent is hard, but being a mother is even harder.

Knowing no one was awake Sumi needed to speak out loud, turning her head away from the window and facing the living room of the 500 sq. foot apartment.

“Will I be able to take care of my child? When I didn’t have a good example myself?”

Sumi sees Mama bear walk out the back room, “It’s ok, you will get the hang of it.”

Rubbing the back of her neck Sumi responds with deep sorrow. “I think it’s too late.”

Mama bears eyes squinted as her eyebrows furrow.

Defeat was not a contender in her house.

She slowly walks over to Sumi bringing Sumi’s face into her hands; her voice was scratchy but Sumi could still understand what she was saying, “It’s never too late, look at your mom she redeemed herself.”

“Can I redeem myself Mama? Am I doing the right thing?”

Mama bear takes a seat on the loveseat nearby, patting next to her Sumi then follows popping a squat. “I remember when I first started my nursery I asked the same thing...am I doing the right thing? Some moms would sell their children, some moms would take them on the street with them. Some moms would never come back. I said dear god I don’t know what I’m doing. Or if I’m teaching these children the right things but the thing about motherhood is, you don’t what is the right and wrong thing to do. But now as I look at you, I know I did the right thing. I’m happy to see you become a mother, to see you try and fail and teach her the right things…I’m grateful for you Sumi.”

A loud bang on the door startles the 3 females as they were having a quiet morning in the apartment. Peyton woke up in a panic and ran to her mother when the pounding kept occurring.

They hear a voice yelling on the other side of the door. It sounds manly, like Mama Bears son.

“Mom open the door I know you're in there!!”

Then another voice.

“You need to evacuate the building ma’am”

The first voice again, this time Sumi can tell he’s enraged. Although Sumi never knew she had actual children she knew it wouldn't be long before they came bursting through the door.

“Mom just come out so I can take you to a safe place.”

Sumi goes to open the door when a smaller hand grips hers, not letting go. Sumi sees Peyton and those big hazel eyes looking back at her. Crust in her eyes, her hair has flatten out but the child was determined to not let her mother’s hand go. She pulled with all her might forcing Sumi to step away from the door.

“Mommy I don’t want her to go!”

Ignoring her daughter cries she shakes Peyton off and turns the knob allowing them access.

“Mom!!”

“Mommy no!!”

As Sumi stepped back taking a look at the son, she realized he looked very familiar, he must have observed her face too because he was just as shocked.

“Fantome?”

He looked better than before, looked like he has been off drugs for a while. Having on an appropriate outfit for the weather he walked passed her, his only concern at this point was his mother. “I don’t go by that anymore….my name is Nero I don't know why your here but you need to leave so I can take my mother and leave this god awful place.”

Sumi scoffs “This god awful place? Really?”

The building manager nudges him, “Nero take her and lets go”

Sumi quickly places her hand around Nero’s exposed arm stopping him from leading Mama Bear out the door. “No!! Not yet...let me tell you something this place was my safe haven. This was the place where I knew someone else in this crazy ass world cared about me. This is where I knew when I was home, I still feel at home here. This tiny 500 sq foot apartment was the best thing that ever happened to me. Now my daughter got to experience a night here and as you can see she loves Mama Bear like she’s been here all her life.”

Nero clears his throat staring directly at Sumi, he wears a cold expression while getting his arm out of her grip. “Are you done?”

Although so badly Sumi wanted to just grab Peyton and Mama Bear and run she knew what was best for her, she knew mama bear needed to be wherever her son placed her, if that be a nursing home then so be it. She just wanted to make sure she was safe.

Before she walks out Mama Bear whispers to Nero, Nero who didn’t expect the request let her have one last look around the place, she has called home for more than 20 years.

As she was slowly walking around the vicinity she walked around as though the apartment was more than 500 sq. feet. walking over to the same spot over and over. A part of Mama bear didn’t want to let this place go, she didn’t want to let her nursery die out. She also knew she couldn’t keep living like this, like there was still children living here with her.

She needed to let that dream die out as well.

As she heads back to the front of the apartment where every waited for her to come back. Mama Bear sees Peyton who was crying like somebody had died, Mama Bears’ own eyes starting to get glassy as she holds back tears.

“Peyton you're my last child...my lucky number 16, take care of your mom for me as I have for her, make sure she feels loved. Your mom was one of the bravest out of all my children. She used to help me with the kids when she got older. She became my guardian angel, she made me fall in love with you just as I did with her those many years ago.”

“Mama bear…” Peyton ran to hug her one last time.

Mama bear rests her head on top Peyton curly mane. “Shhh child, don’t cry….You’ll see me again.”

Now it's Sumi’s turn, after all of these years she has gotten the goodbye she has always wanted. Hugging Mama bear so tight she cried in her arms as she wailed out. “This is harder than the first time I left.”

This was not how it was supposed to go.

Mama bear was supposed to come live at 580 street.

Sumi was supposed to help take care of her.

They were supposed to be back together again.

Mama bear smooths out Sumi’s hair, kissing her on the forehead she replies, “I know I know but it’s gonna be ok”

All the laughter, all the cries, all the love that was shown through this place showed. The crayon markings on the wall added character to the rather dreary and run down apartment. To Sumi it was her childhood.

This was her sanctuary.

¤ ¤ ¤

After a couple of months have passed it was nearing the end of fall and winter was soon to come. The family that was currently staying at 580 Street were hosting a dinner party and of course Sumi with her family were in attendance. As they set the food out on the table and everyone got in their preferred seats a ring of the doorbell filled the house.

Sumi who just took a bite of her fish looks over at Peyton who was sitting by her mother Odette.  “Peyton get the door please”

Peyton gives her mom a nod, hopping out her seat she quickly gets the door.

“Mom!!” Peyton yells out to Sumi.

Everyone’s chatter went quiet as Sumi looked around, nervous as to what her daughter was yelling about. She rose up from her seat at the table. While turning the corner to the entryway she clears her throat before seeing him.

“Nero?”

Sumi found out after Momma bear got put into the senior home that Nero AKA Fantome had actually got his life on the right track, quit pimping out girls, quit drugs, made a new path for himself. He went to school, got a degree and was now making enough money to support himself and support the family he was raising with his longtime wife whom he met when in school.

Nero who was bundled up in a coat, scarf and hat gave them a sheepish grin, “She said she couldn’t go another day without seeing you...she refused to go back unless I brought her here.”

As he moved out the way, they saw her. A smile plastered on both Peyton and Sumi’s face as Peyton ran to her almost knocking her over.

“Mama bear!!”

“Mama Bear!!”

Mama bear embraces Peyton while waving at Sumi. “Hey sugar!!”

Inviting them inside Sumi showed Mama Bear around the house, they even invited her to stay over dinner. Of course Odette and Nero talked, they had a very emotional reunion but they came to an understanding that he is only here for his mother. Also Evelyn and the twins don’t remember Mama bear as much as Sumi does but they have heard the wonderful stories Sumi  has told about her over the years. As they were all around the table eating Mama bear wanted to make a toast. Getting everyone’s attention wasn't that hard, Looking across at Sumi she begins to speak. “Sumi, I provided a sanctuary for you and my other children to stay in and now you provide the same thing for other women looking for a safe haven, I raised you right...Sumi thank you for becoming a mom, I was so happy to hold your daughter. I hope god won’t let me forget this moment.” After dinner was over and hugs were exchanged Sumi was walking Mama bear to the car when she stopped all of a sudden. “Sumi?”

Sumi who had no coat on was freezing, her body shivering as she leans into Mama bear, trying to get some body warmth. “Yes?” “My name is Ramona.”

Sumi let out a breath, a smile appeared on her face while she looked up into the sky thinking about all the years Mama Bear has taken care of her, taken care of her neighborhood.

She thought of Ramona which meant, ‘Protecting Hands’

It fit Mama Bear perfectly.

Nero opens the door for his mother to get inside the car, once she’s in he closes the door but not before taking off his own coat and placing it onto Sumi’s back.

“Thank you.” He states while looking out into the distance not once placing his eyes on Sumi.

Sumi looks up at the 6’6 male as she wraps the coat around her body. “For what?”

“Your the only one of the 15 children that has ever came back for her….to love her like she loved all of you.”

[greysfanpage388]

The Handmaid’s Tale

The Handmaid’s Tale Season 3 episode 6

So this is the episode which was filmed in Washington DC and got plenty of Behind The Scenes coverage during filming due to the location.

*spoiler alert*

[[MORE]]

To be honest, I was a little disappointed in this episode. I thought that with all the media coverage regarding this episode, the entire scene and episode being filmed in Washington DC would be an amazing one, but sadly the scene itself didn’t live up to my expectations. All we saw from the final scene at Lincoln Memorial was Fred making a speech , June ( with her mouth covered) kneeling down in the middle of Fred and Serena, and all the Handmaids kneeling down in front of them. ( I remember people posting this image when they were filming).

The argument between June and Serena in front of the beheaded statue of Abraham Lincoln ( amazing photoshop work there by the crew!) was very well acted though by both actresses. You could feel June’s pain and anguish when she confronted Serena about the betrayal. Girl, you shouldn’t have trusted Serena in the first place! I mean- it’s Serena after all, what do you expect? 😅 I can feel your frustration, June!

Serena again shows her cold hearted nature in the conversation:

Serena: I should’ve put a ring in your mouth the first time I met you’

June: ‘ I should’ve let you burn when I had the opportunity to.’

😆😅

I’m really disappointed with how the writers are writing Serena this season. She had potential to be such an interesting and complex character, you want to hate her one minute and feel sympathy for her the next ( brilliant acting by Yvonne) , but now she’s just a cold, selfish villain.

The atmosphere in Washington

is even more eerie and oppressive compared to where June is staying. The Handmaids are even more oppressed. I wonder why all the Handmaids in Washington have their mouths stapled shut? Even Aunt Lydia was shocked by this. It is to keep them quiet and suppress their speech? Or did the Handmaids themselves do it voluntarily as a symbol of their obedience to the regime? I have no idea. What I know is that the scene when OfGeorge removed her scarf to reveal her mouth staples to June was scary. ( picture of stapled mouth in comments).

I wonder how do these Handmaids eat? Maybe they don’t take solid food?

So we meet Mr and Mrs Winslow this episode and their whopping six children. How did they manage to get that many children while other Commanders have a maximum of only 3 is beyond me. I’m thinking that Commander Winslow is very high up in ranking and gets to do what he pleases. Also, judging from the ages and skin color of the children, it seems like the elder children are the kidnapped children of Handmaids, while the younger ones might be born from Handmaids.

For all of you who think that Mrs Winslow seems familiar- I cannot get the image of her as Ava/ Rebecca on Grey’s Anatomy - the Borderline Personality disorder patient who had to undergo multiple surgeries after a ferry boat accident- out of my mind 😅 Some of you might also recognise her as Esme in Twilight.

Did anyone else get the gay vibe from Commander Winslow, especially when he and Fred were playing pool? ;)

Also, the image of Fred holding a doll is so freaky indeed lol. 😆( The image is in the comments).

Speaking of Borderline Personality disorder, does anyone else think that Aunt Lydia has Borderline Personality disorder? One episode she almost beat Janine to death then a couple of episodes later she shows her caring side to June. I can’t wait to learn about her backstory in episode 8.

June’s testimony to the Swiss Diplomats showed what a brave, strong woman she is. She made it loud and clear to them that she wants to keep Nichole in Canada. I feel that the whole notion of Gilead pleading for Nichole’s return is really ridiculous- all the events that occurred in last seasons finale and this season’s premiere leading to baby Nichole’s escape might all come to naught if she is returned to Canada. :/

I’m not surprised that Nick is revealed to be one of the soldiers responsible for Gilead taking over America. It had been implied in the earlier seasons. My heart still broke for June when she learnt about Nick’s secret from Serena. :(

Nick and June’s night scene when she begged him to testify to the Swiss Diplomats for their daughter’s sake was so heartbreaking. I do think that Nick really wanted to help June and Nichole but unfortunately couldn’t due to his background and position . I am intrigued about him and can’t wait to learn more about his background too.

So after this episode, June is back to fighting alone. She has no one on her side, not even Nick or Serena. What a bummer. However, as long as the season and the whole series is not over yet, I still have hope. As the official IG page of the series has been commenting in reply to their posts, have faith in the Resistance! I predict more action and uprising in the second half of this season. 🤞

Do let me know what you guys thought of the episode, I would love to hear from you all 😘

P.s. Do check out a Behind The Scenes footage of Elisabeth Moss and Yvonne Strahovski filming at Lincoln Memorial. I think this is what we all need after this episode. I’ve posted it in my comments :)

P.p.s I love Rita and June both saying that they’ve missed each other ❤️

[girls-scenarios]

No Worries

Idol: Anne (GWSN)

Prompt: What's up, Is it possible to write a scenario with Anne from GWSN, where her group meets her S/O who's a famous rapper from aomg? Please, Thanks if your able to!

Writer: Admin Kiwi

A/N: The very first GWSN thing on this blog, I’m so excited! There aren’t many gifs for my girls yet but I’m sure that will change as they get more popular. Also, why am I posting this at like, 2am my time? Because I have a weird sleeping schedule after surgery please don’t judge me. Anyway, I hope you all enjoy, and stan GWSN!

Today was the day. Finally, Anne was going to introduce you to her friends, and she could not be more nervous. Sighing, she stared at her reflection in the mirror. Even though she knew most of them were dumb, she had a lot of worries. What if they didn’t like you? What if they got the wrong idea about you? What if you guys didn’t get along?

She squeezed her eyes shut and gently slapped her cheeks, telling herself to snap out of it. She knew you were nervous too, which was to be expected. Anyone would be nervous when meeting their girlfriend’s friends (or, in her case, the girls were more like her sisters). But you’d texted her the night before, reassuring her that everything would be okay. And deep down, she was sure it would go okay. She loved her bandmates, and she loved you, and she knew they would be happy for her. Still, she couldn’t help being a little bit nervous....

Her phone buzzed and she opened her eyes to a text from you on the screen.

Today’s the day! I have a question though.

She smiled and picked up her phone, fond as she typed back a reply.

I know! I’m trying not to be nervous lol. What is it?

You replied almost immediately.

Me too tbh, but let’s be positive! Anyway, I’m still working on something last minute and my manager will kill me if I don’t get it done. Do you guys want to meet me at my studio before we go get food? I don’t want to leave you guys hanging.

She thought for a moment, pretty sure that the girls wouldn’t mind dropping by the studio. Honestly, they’d probably be pretty excited to see the inside of AOMG.

Let me check and make sure but it shouldn’t be a problem.

As she was placing down her phone, there was a knock at her door and she looked up as Seoryoung opened the door.

“Are you ready?” One last look at her appearance and Anne nodded, looking back at her leader.

“I am. I have a quick question though.” Seoryoung raised her eyebrows, a clear sign for Anne to go ahead. “(Y/N) just sent me a text asking if we wanted to swing by their studio at AOMG before we go since they have to finish up a project they’re working on.”

“Sounds fine to me. Want me to check with the other girls?” Anne nodded and Seoryoung gave her a quick thumbs-up before disappearing again. Taking a deep breath, Anne picked up her phone and looked at it for a moment before slipping it into her pocket and grabbing the rest of her things. She could do this.

When she got into the living room area where the rest of the girls were waiting, SoSo hopped to her feet.

“Are we really going to AOMG?”

“If you guys are okay with it, yeah. We can look around a little while (Y/N) finishes up what they’re working on.”

“We’re good with it,” Seoryoung said with a smile. SoSo grinned and quickly checked her appearance one more time, obviously excited even as Lena laughed beside her.

“I’m honestly still surprised you’re really dating (Y/N). They seem too cool for you,” Minju said, and Anne chose to ignore her, focusing instead on Miya, who slipped her hand over Minju’s mouth to keep her from talking anymore as she looked at Anne.

“They’re sure it’s okay for us to be there?” Miya asked, seeming a bit nervous. “I mean, since we’re from a different company and all.” Anne nodded, quickly sending you back a text.

“It should be fine, otherwise (Y/N) wouldn’t have mentioned it.”

They’re okay with it! Is it okay if we head over now?

Yeah! My studio is on the second floor at the end of the hall, remember? I can’t wait to see you.

The fond smile made its way back onto her face, and Minju giggled.

“You’re so cute, unnie.”

“Oh, hush. Come on, let’s go ahead and get going.” Smiling, Seoryoung moved into the front, her arm looped loosely through Seokyoung’s as she led the girls out and away. Anne lingered at the back, eyes back on her phone.

I feel the same way.

-

Even though Anne had been to your studio before, there was a certain amount of excitement that still came with walking through another company. Her bandmates had all fallen silent, taking in their surroundings with wide eyes as Anne took the lead.

It was probably her imagination, but the elevator seemed to take longer than usual that day. Still, soon enough she was walking down the hall towards your studio. When she reached the door, she stopped and quietly looked in the window. You were looking down as something, but you didn’t seem to be actively recording or anything so she raised her hand and knocked gently.

Immediately you were up and rushing over to open the door with a wide smile.

“Anne! I was just about to text you to see where you were.” Smiling, she reached out her hand and you took it, intertwining your fingers with hers affectionately.

“We’re here now,” she said, voice a little bit softer than it had been when she was talking to the girls earlier. “I hope we aren’t interrupting you or anything.” Quickly, you shook your head.

“No, no, I’m just finishing up some things. I have to send the songs I made out to the right people and finish an email but that’s all honestly. I finished up the last song a few minutes ago.” Then you turned to look at the rest of GWSN, who had been watching the exchange with silent smiles. “Hello, it’s nice to meet you all. Why don’t you come in? It’s small but we can make it work.” You stepped inside with Anne by you to let them in, and once everyone was inside, Anne cleared her throat.

“Let me introduce everyone. (Y/N), this is Miya unnie, Seokyoung unnie, Seoryoung, Minju, SoSo, and Lena. Everyone, this is my partner (Y/N).” You smiled and waved, and the rest of the girls smiled brightly back.

“It’s nice to finally meet you, (Y/N),” Seoryoung said, stepping forward. “Take good care of our Anne, yeah?”

“I will, I promise.”

“Then we approve,” Seokyoung said, grinning and reaching forward to playfully ruffle Anne’s hair, making the younger girl whine.

“Don’t let us distract you from your work though,” Miya said, gesturing towards your still-open laptop. “We can wait while you finish.”

“Thank you, Miya,” you said, giving her a grateful smile. “Go ahead and make yourselves comfortable, I’ll be done soon.” The girls quickly pulled back towards the couch in the corner of the room, and you tugged Anne towards your desk, pointing out the extra chair. “Give me some strength?” Giggling, she followed you.

“Of course.”

“I still can’t believe they’re dating,” Minju muttered under her breath, looking at the wall with all your achievements displayed. “This is crazy.”

“They’re so obviously in love though,” Lena said, clasping her hands together and smiling. “It’s like something out of a drama.”

“It’s cute,” Miya said with a grin, sitting down on the couch and shooting Minju a look. “Be nice, Minju.”

“I’m always nice.”

“Sure.”

“I like (Y/N),” Seoryoung said suddenly. “I think they’re a really good fit for our Anne.” There was a quiet chorus of agreements from the other girls, and Anne knew that if she could hear them, you could hear them too.

Her theory was confirmed when you grabbed her hand again to give it a quick squeeze.

“See?” You said, voice quiet and eyes still on your laptop, but a smile on your lips. “I told you that I would all work out fine.” Smiling, she glanced back at her friends, who tried to look as innocent as possible.

“I guess we had nothing to worry about after all.”

“A love as strong as ours should never have to worry,” you said, and she looked back at you.

“You’re cheesy today.” Grinning, you turned away from your laptop and the email you’d just sent.

“Yeah, but it’s true. I love you.” She knew you did. Ignoring the fact that her friends would probably tease her later, she leaned over to press a quick kiss to your cheek.

“I love you too.”

[upwardeath]

k here’s some more words you’re not going to read. If you actually do you’re my hero. Thanks for tagging me @holy-panther. Also answering some I didn’t get to earlier.

@kishka questions:

1. Which language sounds the nicest to your ears?

Italian.

2. Does your native language have any dialects you absolutely cannot stand? If yes, why?

Southern American is annoying. Particularly Southern Appalachian. But maybe just bc I grew up in the south.

3. Which is your favorite place you’ve ever been to?

Switzerland, maybe, or any place where I’m completely surrounded my mountains. There are some awesome places here in Colorado. Standing on top of a mountain I just summited is a fave. Sitting and talking with someone I love anywhere.

4. What is the most ridiculous thing you’ve seen an animal do?

My dog ate a giant ass toy giraffe, how in the hell he managed to choke that thing down, I don’t know, but he did and had to have surgery to get it removed.

5. How do you take your tea/coffee/preferred hot beverage? 

Espresso. Or Americano. But I prefer iced coffee tbh.

6. If you could cosplay any character, which one would you choose? Why?

Some badass femme fatale, I don’t know. Because hot.

7. What details in character designs catch your eye the most?

Oooohhhh, good fucking question. The eyes. Clean lines. Not overly complicated. And the thing that draws my eyes the most is emotion in the expression and dramatic movement in the body. But I guess that’s more what the character is doing and less about the design. I mean attractive character designs catch my eye, lol.

8. What is your least favorite art movement?

Cubism.

9. Moths or butterflies?

Why i gotta pick? Lol, moths?

10. What were you obsessed with as a child?

Collecting sports cards and rocks. My rock tumbler. LOL. Puzzles. My bike. Playing outside. Video games. Designing my dream home, I had a huge notebook and that thing was fucking amazing. Reading. Listening to music by myself in my room.

11. Do you have any houseplants? If yes, do you give them names?

I have some succulents and they’re the only thing I can keep alive. I had a palm that i liked but it died. I killed it. I don’t give them names. But i do talk to them. I just refer to them as little guys.

@holy-panther questions:

1. stupid things you did, whether recently or as a child

I used to “kamikaze” into the bayous on my bike and build forts, like I’d actually fortify it and build traps and weapons to keep people out, I made “bombs” in glass jars out of fireworks and set a vacant lot of fire.

2. do you like the place where you grew up?

In some ways yes, but mostly no I hate Houston.

3. favorite fiction genres

Already answered but I like fantasy too.

4. in what kind of place do you want to be right now?

Not in America I can tell you that.

5. musical recommendations?

I don’t feel like deciding on any right now but I post songs, you can check my music tag.

6. do you believe in eternal love?

Yes.

7. ideal house/apartment?

Something with wide open space inside and/or out. Something with access to a big city. Or a cabin in the woods.

8. would you rather read a book or watch a movie?

Book, unless I’m very tired.

9. The movie, would you rather watch it at home or at the movie theater?

Home usually unless it’s action/adventure.

10. documentary or museum? why?

Museum, I love art, and while I dig documentaries to, I have more fun in a museum?

11. walk in town or in the wild?

Both.

12. would you let me draw on your arms without looking at what i'm doing ?

Yes.

And here’s my questions again if anyone wants to answer them:

My questions (I’m yoinking some from others):

1. Names you find beautiful?

2. What’s a song that embodies you as a person best?

3. Do you have any weird/out-there theories? What are they if I may ask?

4. Do you have a favorite enneagram/mbti type?

5. What’s the thing that annoys you most?

6. Where would you live if you could choose one place in the world?

7. What are your hobbies?

8. What are your religious beliefs, if any?

9. Do you like pizza? Yes or no?

10. Do you have any vices and what are they?

11. What’s something random you were thinking about today?

Tagging: @syntheticalcomposure @descardess @de-nihilist @antisocieties @azenta @alverlind @new-born-1997 and anyone else who clicks on my stuff and I click on theirs.

[facets-and-rainbows]

Blue Exorcist: Spy Game - Yukio in Wonderland (part 1)

I got a few requests to translate this story from the newest Blue Exorcist novel, so here we go! Author Aya Yajima says in the afterword that she was inspired to write this after seeing Kazue Katoh post genderbent versions of the characters on her Twitter. 

behold the wonders of the crackiest crack fic ever published officially for Blue Exorcist, lol

Note: I left the words “nii-san” (older brother) and “nee-san” (older sister) how they were, and I’m just kind of...using whatever pronoun I feel like when I need one that wasn’t in the Japanese version, because I couldn’t be bothered to think too deeply about this story. For my sanity’s sake.

Yukio in Wonderland

The phone alarm was ringing.

I have to get up… thought Yukio Okumura as he turned over in bed.

Sure, it was his day off, but he still couldn’t just sleep past noon. He wasn’t his brother, after all. He had plenty of things to do.

Let’s see...Today…I still haven’t finished those lesson plans. And I have to turn in that mission report from before…and write some quiz questions…Right, and there was some accounting too. If I have time after that, I should really do some of my regular school work…this is getting to be a problem…

Once he had organized his busy schedule in his head, he tried to get up, but for whatever reason he was just really sleepy today.

As he was grappling with his eyelids, which seemed so heavy it was almost like he’d had some sleeping pills, he heard his brother’s voice.

“Yuki…Hey, Yuki…Get up already.”

That’s odd. He’s never up before me.

I hope it doesn’t rain today, he thought as he stifled a yawn with his eyes still closed. He just couldn’t seem to wake up all the way.

His brother started shaking him roughly.

“Yuki…come on, we’ve got that...with Ryu…today, hurry up and…”

Yukio’s brain must have still been half-asleep; it sounded like his brother was yelling from a long way off. Not only were there parts he couldn’t make out, there was also a weird annoying buzzing like insect wings.

And Rin’s voice sounded oddly high-pitched. Delicate, even.

“…Hmm…What happened? Do you have a cold?” Yukio asked as he finally got up, rubbing his eyes. He was about to continue, “…Nii-san,” but he froze on the spot.

“…”

“That’s weird, you never sleep in. I guess it’s like, even monkeys fall in rivers, huh?”

There was a sweet little girl looking at him, and saying things only his brother would say.

…No, they don’t. The saying is “even monkeys fall from trees,” Nii-san. I think you’re mixing it up with “even kappa drown in rivers.”

Yukio was composing the snide remark in his head, but even after he fumbled next to his pillow for his glasses and put them on, the girl in front of his eyes didn’t turn into his brother.

Yukio looked at her face in disbelief.

The girl had big eyes and a small face. Her messy black hair was cut fairly short. She was on the small side, and there was a jet-black tail wagging gently behind her pink frilly pajamas.

That was definitely his brother’s tail. The realization gave Yukio goosebumps.

“…Nii-san? What are you…wearing?”

“Huh? Are you still asleep or something?” The girl frowned. “And what’s with the ‘Nii-san?’”

Yukio could definitely see his brother’s face in her suspicious expression.

“Look, I’ve been thinking that you’re probably overworking yourself. You bring work home every single day, and you haven’t been eating right. That sort of thing’ll make you crazy. As your big sister, I’m worried about you.”

And the girl had that same habit of acting like a big brother—or rather, a big sister—just because she was born a few minutes earlier.

And above all else, there was the tail and the pointy ears.

It was hard to believe. It was hard to believe, but this girl really was his “brother.”

…What’s going on?

How could his brother have turned into his sister?

It couldn’t be…

There was only one thing that came to mind.

Once, on a mission where they had to get into the girl’s dormitory, the Exwires and Yukio had all dressed as girls. It was an order from Sir Pheles, so they were basically forced into it, but…

He WAS pretty gung-ho about it…

They’d done a bad job of it and it had been obvious that they were guys, but even as Shiemi and Izumo laughed at them, Rin had said “I’m pretty cute though, right?” and sort of meant it. Yukio had had other things to worry about at the time, so hadn’t paid much attention then, but…

Was that a catalyst for him wanting to be a girl? Did he go get surgery without telling me?

Yukio’s blood ran cold. He looked up at the girl—no, at his sister.

Horrifyingly, awfully, she had boobs. And hips. A bead of cold sweat ran down Yukio’s spine.

No, the timing’s wrong for that.

Rin had definitely been a boy yesterday. Whatever had happened, there was no way he could have been in and out of surgery and done overnight.

“Nii- Nee-san? Can I ask you a weird question?”

“Who’s Niinee-san supposed to be? Why are you saying it like a question?”

“Are those…real?”

“What!?”

Hearing Yukio’s terrified question, his sister had started looking at him like he’d grown a second head. “What are you talking about? Of course they’re real! I mean, you’ve got them too, you know.”

“Huh…”

In the next instant, Yukio’s sister had reached out her right hand and grabbed some part of Yukio, but he didn’t realize which part at first.

“Dammit, you keep getting bigger without me.”

“…”

“Listen up, Yukiko. Don’t go getting cocky just cause you’ve got big boobs. Mine’ll surpass yours one day, you just watch!”

Rin had taken her hand off of Yukio and was pointing a finger at him now.

 At least 30 seconds passed before Yukio realized his sister was pointing at his chest. He looked down in trepidation—

And then…

“!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!???????????????????????????”

…he screamed.

“Y-Yukiko? What’s gotten into you all of a sudden?” his sister asked, alarmed.

How…Not just Nii-san…but me too?

Yukio went pale and almost collapsed.

 Their window should have been completely plain, but there were pastel-colored curtains.

The unfamiliar lace curtains danced in the wind at the edge of Yukio’s vision. For just a second, he thought he saw a pitch-black butterfly fluttering behind them—

[Part 2]

[henry-hart]

Mo’ Danger, Mo’ Problems s1 ep2

this one is long, just saying. lolol I just really loved it and had a lot to say :))))))

“OK HEN’S VOICE IS DIFFERENT IN THIS EP asjlksjk guess there was time btw this one and the pilot

he’s still incredibly adorable tho

“He’s gotta fix that elevator.” ...and then he never did lolol

OKAY so 13 yr old Henry found a way across town at almost 12 at night???? NO MY SON. THAT IS DANGEROUS (also does Swellview have a bus system??? did he walk??? I need to know.)

“’Put this watch on your wrist.’ Sure. What else would I put it on???” .....

hologram Ray pretending that Hen poked his eye out askjsl

“I’m gonna contact you on this watch now.” “What do I do with the old one?” “Toss it up in the air.” “.....Why?” “It’s about to self-destruct.” “Dahhh!” *tosses watch but it doesn’t do anything* “Hmm. That’s weird It’s supposed to--” BAM lololol

Do you think they chose Puerto Rico history for Hen’s test subject bc Jace is Puerto Rican??? I mean, it’s a lil specific to be coincidence (i hope they did)

“Ah, Puerto Rico. Land of....” “Puerto Ricans???” “Right.” alakjsklj

I FORGOT ABOUT THIS EP. THIS ONE IS SO FUNNY!!!! (I’m remembering what happens later in the ep lol)

antique bottle shop named “Glass from the Past” gotta love the witty names

“Let’s blow some bubbles and fight some crime.” so I see we aren’t into lame puns yet lolol

the “awwww my boot!” line is in this ep “Up the boot! Ow!” “HA!”

“Give me that pretty lavender bottle...because it matches my motorcycle helmet.” asjdlkj you can always count on hd bad guys to be goofy “You better bubble wrap that, chump! That ain’t no good to me busted.”

soooooo Ray walks in through the front door of the shop while Hen just....kind of.....walks in from...the side??? Like, Jace literally just entered from the side of the stage/set. wowowow lol

“Kid Danger.” “Yeah.” he looks so smug ajsklsjksjlk like, “that’s right. you know who i am.”

Ray telling the robber to try hitting him again lolol “Try to keep your arm straight.” 

*robber hits him* “Strike three.” Hen pops in “That was only two...” “Okay, don’t correct me in front of the criminals.”

RAY YOU JUST THREW THE ROBBER INTO THAT MAN’S GLASS. WUT R U DOING???

“You really want to fight us?” looks at KD “Can I just fight the kid?” Hen’s all “???” lolol

“No you can’t just fight the--” “Sure he can! Come on, tough guy.” “Ok.” *puts his helmet over Hen’s head*

poor Hen is just spinning around 

golf clubs in a store that sells glass. that’s gonna end well.

“KD! Catch this golf club!” *hits Hen in the head* aksjlsjsk

CM AND KD YOU ARE NOT HELPING!!!! YOU ARE BREAKING ALL THAT POOR MAN’S GLASS!!!!

“CM! Where are you?” “Follow the sound of my voice!” *a game of Marco/Polo w/ A LOT OF GLASS BREAKING ensues*

“Would you superheroes just leave!!!!” I feel for you, man.

Ray had to stop a wild, golf club swinging Henry lolol

“Where is he??? Did I get him???” he asks, standing amidst all the glass he broke while RAY got the bad guy 

“Yeah, you got him.”

“My whole store is destroyed!” “No need to thank us.” “Thank you?” “You’re welcome.” Ray y r u lik dis

Hen’s hair is all wild from the helmet ajskjlskj

“Let’s go, KD.” “NO!!! Nobody leaves until you boys clean up all of this broken glass.”

MY POOR BB HAS TO BE UP AT 7 FOR SCHOOL. RAY YOU DID NOT NEED TO CALL HIM TO HELP YOU. YOU ENDED UP GETTING THE BAD GUY ALL BY YOURSELF. HENRY JUST BROKE MORE GLASS. LET MY SON GET HIS SLEEP!!!!

“This will only take us like....5 hrs. I’ll get u a broom!” *Hen just sinks to the floor* :(((((

Ms. Shapen just gave Hen a wet willy. aksjlksj The ever classy Sherona Shapen, ladies and gents.

CHARLOTTE IS SO TINY. EVEN THE KIDS IN THE BACK OF THE CLASS ARE SO TINY. THEY’RE. ALL. SO. TINY.

“This is what happens when you stay up all night on Twitflash and Twittlegram.” alksjskjls

poor Hen slept through his whole test (much like in my fic....hee hee)

J....y wud u want....a....wet willy???? (I love Ms. Shapen’s answering face alksjlskj)

Hen just drops back down on his desk. my son :((((

THE FIRST EVER TITLE SEQUENCE!!!!!! (last ep just had the title of the show. this one has the whole “It all just kind of happened” shebang)

“Now I protect the good citizens of Swellview.” Do you Ray? Do you?? (peep him charging ppl for that “protection” in a few years)

Hen just pouring an ENTIRE POT OF COFFEE into, as Char calls it, “a comedically large cup.” askdksjslk I fell you. I don’t drink coffee, but i. feel. you.

never get tired of these whack shows they watch on here. Natural surgery???? Surgery w/ no anesthesia??? what is that???? lolol

“You’re 13. You can’t be drinking this much coffee!!!!” “But I need it!”

concerned friends ftw

Jasp asking Hen about puberty......

“I haven’t had any dreams bc I’m not getting any sleep.” my bb...:(((

“I always have the same dream. It starts with me getting a horse for my bday. Then Jasp shows up. Then the horse kicks Jasp in the face.” “But I end up being okay, right?” “No.” her face kills me lolol

SIREN HART IS BACK ON MY SCREEN AGAIN. IT IS A BLESSED DAY.

“We’re home! Hen come help me please.” “HENRY, COME HELP YOUR MOTHER!!!” gotta love that s1 Piper

“What what what???” that’s exactly how I respond too hen alksjslkj

HEN MAKING DINNER. :’)))) I. MISS. THESE. DAYS. THE. HART. FAM. IS. MY. FAVE. AND. THEY’RE. NEVER. TOGETHER. ANYMORE. *cries*

how does one make chili balls????

“Make them spicy this time.” I love Piper so much gah

“Seriously? I’m like so busy. I don’t have time.” Ya’ll....the way he said this. he sounds so stressed.....my bb....I’m crying.

remember the days when Piper used to be anti-having Jasp in the house?? lolol I mean, she probs still is now, but she used to be a lot more vocal about it. “Aw man, Jasper’s here???” “Piper be nice.” “But Jasper’s always here. It’s NOT okay!!!”

“I’m going to the bathroom.” “Oh no, mom. Jasper’s going to use our bathroom.” ajskjslj

Piper telling on everyone as soon as her dad gets home akjslksj classic

their dad was a lot more....tolerable earlier on. I don’t mean he’s a bad character or anything. It’s just, he’s usually played for laughs now instead of being a parent. We get to see him actually parenting Hen in this ep, and it’s so nice. 

“Jasper’s using our bathroom.” “Oh jeez.” Like father like daughter kajslkj (also looks like Hen got his phrase from his dad. cute!)

“and Henry said he’s not gonna make dinner.” “What??? It’s his night!” “I’M GONNA MAKE DINNER!” leave my son alone, Jake (he’s my son. not yours.)

YAS. JAKE SITTING DOWN WITH HENRY TO GIVE HIM A NICE PARENT TALK ABOUT MS. SHAPEN CALLING HIM ABOUT HENRY’S FAILED TEST. YAS. YAS. YAS. I LOVE ME SOME HEALTHY FAMILIAL CONTENT!!!!!

“She called you at work?!?.....Ah, that’s so rude of her. God.” alksjslk nice save hen

“Do you realize how important Puerto Rican history is???” aksjlkjs I really thing they’re doing this bc of Jace. Like, I really do. 

Hen apologizing for letting his dad down :’))))

JAKE. HART. BEING. CONCERNED. FOR. HIS. SON. YASSSSS. He sees that maybe having a job is causing Hen’s grades to slip THIS is how you parent. (wish i had me a dad like that...)

you don’t get your 12 yr old daughter to drive u home from mouth surgery.....looking at you s4

“I can’t quit! My job’s a really big deal.” *puts hand on his dad’s leg* “It’s a junk shop. *moves Hen’s hand* You sweep the floors.” ajskjskjskl if only you knew

Hen’s like “I’m gonna go upstairs and study right now!” he takes off and his dad grabs him at the last second and makes him do this spin and akjsljs I just thought that was funny

“You study after you make the chili balls. And make them spicy this time.” He and Piper share this look lolol they’re so similar. it’s crazy

Hen yawning as he serves dinner :(((( he doesn’t even eat. he’s going without food AND sleep. MY SON NO!!!!

“I posted a pic, and now it has 45 comments. So now i have to comment on the comments!” “I’m about to comment on you.” asklkjskl (too tru tho Pipes)

RAYMOND. STOP FUSSING AT MY SON. HE IS TRYING HIS HARDEST. HE CAN ONLY DO SO MANY THINGS AT ONCE.

“Why aren’t you on your way over here???” “Because. I got in trouble for sleeping in class....and i had to make chili balls.” “Chili...balls?” “It was ‘my night’.”  lolol I love the way Hen says that. so snarky

Hen stretching over his bed like “I’m just gonna....” slaps himself in the face to keep up “Maybe I can just....I’m just gonna lie down. 5 minutes tops. just 5 min” before he just passes out is SUCH a mood.

Okay, Ray coming in thru hen’s window all angry in covered in sewage is HILARIOUS

like, I love this little “I’m gonna kill him” angry dance thing he does aksjlkjs

oh my god he’s waving his smell in Hen’s direction asjksjsl

“Awww what’s that smell???” “I’m that smell!”

“Well, Ray, I guess I fell asleep.” “WeLl I gUeSs I fElL aSlEeP!!!” Ray u sound like scooby-doo aksjskj

“You know what’s down in the Swellview sewer???” “....poop.” “POOP!”

omg I forgot about Pipes being suspicious of the voices in Hen’s room 

“Who are u talking to in here???” “Nobody.” “MOM!!!!!” “Aw jeez.” using his dad’s phrase :)))))

Hen blaming the smell on piper aksjlslkj

“It’s Piper.” “What???” “She hasn’t had a bath in a week.” “That’s a lie!”

“You disappointed me tonight.” “I’m disappointing everybody. People should just call me ‘Kid Disappointment’.” Hen....:((( (but the way he said the last part was really funny akjdlskj)

WHAAAATTT???? RAY WANTS HEN TO TALK TO HIM TO HELP FIGURE OUT A SOLUTIONG TO A PROBLEM???? YOU MEAN HE’S NOT BEING UNJUSTIFIABLY PARANOID OR RIDICULOUS??? HE’S NOT JUMPING TO CONCLUSIONS??? HE’S NOT BREAKING THE LAW OR HARMING OTHERS OR DOUBTING HENRY’S INTEGRITY????? WHAAAATTT????

^^^^^that was a jab at the Ray we’ve seen as of late

“Time. School. Working for you. My family. It’s just a lot to handle.” TOO TRUE HENRY. TOO. FREAKING. TRUE.

“I do know a guy who can get rid of your family.” Who, Ray. Who do you know?

Ray actually wanting to fix a problem rather than make it worse. Yes.

and so begins Ray’s crush on Siren. Nice try dude. My crush began the second she was on screen. 

“Who’s this?” “My mom.” “Niiiiiiice. Is she still, uh, married to your dad, or--” “Yes.” “Does she ever seem lonely or--” “Go home, Ray.” 

“The picture, Ray.” 

aksjdklj I love that interchange.

also Hen just has this portrait of his mom in his room lolol what a momma’s boy :)))))

Jasp x Char covering for Hen even tho they have no idea what’s up ;’))))

GOOCH. MY MAN.

Henry does NOT have hepatitis Japser!!!! ajslkjslk

Gooch and Hen harmonizing those weird sounds omg lolol

“Oohloolooloooloooo--why am I doing this?!??!?!”

“Relax, kid.” “I can’t. I’ve got a huge makeup test  tomorrow. I need to study, and you guys are making me go ‘oohloolooloo’“ “It’s ‘Oohloolooloo--” “I don’t care!!!!” I LOVE sassy Henry

all studying done in 30 seconds???? Where can i get me one of these???

“It’s a cerebral data transducer--or as we call it, the HRZ.” wtf???? lolol

“Why am i locked in a chair???” Hen asking the real questions. 

the way Ray says “Puerrrrto RRRRRicoooo!” 

“Will this hurt???” “Yes.” WHAT???” lolol

okay can you imagine the now jace being as extra as this jace??? No??? I didn’t think so. lololol

“Well?” “That hurt BAAAAD!!!”

“I don’t know anything about P--” *starts spitting out random PR facts* askjljsk “Wooooaaahhhh. I know Puerto Ricoooooo.” 

the amount of times they’ve said Puerto Rico in this ep is crazy. I’m definitely convinced they did this for Jace alskjskl

“Do you think it’s cheating???” “Ehhhh.” “It’s a gray area.” GOOCH X RAY ARE MY FAVES. (i love Schwoz, but Ray x Gooch had some good chemistry.)

“I really doing this appreciate you for me.’ ASKLJDLKSJ I LOVE THIS PART OF THE EPISODE. THE SIDE EFFECTS ARE MY FAVORITE PART. 

at first, i didn’t even register that he’d switched the order of the words. I was like, “Ok, I knew what he meant, but something about it made my brain feel weird???” lololol

I wonder if Jace had a hard time getting the mixed up order right akjsksl

I love the way Ray says “Uh oh.” with his eyes closed. Like, “I knew this might happen, but I was really hoping it wouldn’t.” lksjklsj

“Well you could’ve before that you told me!!!” THESE PARTS ARE MAKING ME LAUGH SO HARD.

Henry: *screams all high-pitched* aljsklsjls I’M CACKLING

I FORGOT HOW MUCH I LOVED THIS EPISODE!!!!!!!!

“So I’m gonna girl like a days for a few screams---wait.” LOLOLOLOL

*screams again*

“.......You guys wanna get lunch?” CLASSIC Ray. (can something be classic already in the first ep??? I guess the word is vintage. VINTAGE Ray.....but those r the same thing??? I don’t know ajksjlsk)

“The Vermont army finally surrendered and fled the coconut plantations.” “Coconuts in Vermont?” askjslkj school really be like that sometimes

Jasper just doodling the whole time. ME.

“Okay everyone. Get out.” Ms. Shapen is a constant mood. lolol

“100 my makeup test on I got!!!.....I mean, I got a hundred on my makeup test???” aksjlk I love u Hen

*randomly screams* “...” “.... That was inappropriate.” “I just got excited.”I CAN’T TELL YOU HOW MUCH THIS PART MAKES ME LAUGH ALKSJKLSJ

“I’m really proud of you, Henry. I’d give you a hug if it wouldn’t get me fired.” ajsksj 

“Have a good weekend.” “Too you.” “....”

Henry said “Yeah, baby!” to Char. :))))) (I know it was just a quick thing on the fly, but it’s still cute)

“Where were you?” “I go to had somewhere.” 

ya’ll. Henry’s mix ups are KILLING me.

“One more time???” “I. had. to. go. somewhere. Nailed it.”

*randomly screams again*

CHAR’S SCARED FACE. I’M DYING.

“You later see!” ALKSJKLJSK

I LAUGHED FOR THE ENTIRETY OF THE END OF THIS EPISODE. 

I JUST REALLY LOVE THIS EPISODE. I FORGOT HOW MUCH I DID, AND IT WAS GREAT TO BE REMINDED. 

this ep had it all

tired/overworked/stressed hen and his supportive friends and fam

then there’s that GOLDEN last two minutes with the side effects

just. wow.

props to Jace for doing an incredible job

he really delivered the goofiness. love my boy :))))))

rewatching these was such a good idea <3333

[ilistenedin]

* 1. Are looks important in a relationship?

Not really to me.

* 2. Are relationships ever worth it?

I wanna be cynical and be like “the risk is not worth the reward” but I feel like I’ll change my tune if the right person comes along.

* 3. Are you a virgin?

No

* 4. Are you in a relationship?

No

* 5. Are you in love?

No

* 6. Are you single this year?

So far. And I’m pretty sure I will remain single.

* 7. Can you commit to one person?

I don’t have the best track record.

* 8. Describe your crush

A friend

* 9. Describe your perfect mate

I don’t have a description honestly.

* 10. Do you believe in love at first sight?

Sometimes

* 11. Do you ever want to get married?

No

* 12. Do you forgive betrayal?

Yes

* 13. Do you get jealous easily?

No

* 14. Do you have a crush on anyone?

I think so

* 15. Do you have any piercings?

Yes

* 16. Do you have any tattoos?

Yes

* 17. Do you like kissing in public?

Sometimes

* 20. Do you shower every day?

I have been known to skip

* 21. Do you think someone has feelings for you?

No

* 22. Do you think someone is thinking about you right now?

No

* 23. Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months and not cheat?

Yes

* 24. Do you think you’ll be married in 5 years?

No

* 25. Do you want to be in a relationship this year?

No

* 26. Has anyone told you they don’t want to ever lose you?

Yes

* 27. Has someone ever written a song or poem for you?

I don’t know

* 28. Have you ever been cheated on?

Yes

* 29. Have you ever cheated on someone?

Yes

* 30. Have you ever considered plastic surgery? If so, what would you change about your body?

I would like to get top surgery. I’ve never been comfortable having breasts.

* 31. Have you ever cried over a guy/girl?

Yes

* 32. Have you ever experienced unrequited love?

Yes

* 33. Have you ever had sex with a man?

Yes

* 34. Have you ever had sex with a woman?

Yes

* 35. Have you ever kissed someone older than you?

Yes

* 36. Have you ever liked one of your best friends?

Yes

* 37. Have you ever liked someone who your friends hated?

Yes

* 38. Have you ever liked someone you didn’t expect to?

Yes

* 39. Have you ever wanted someone you couldn’t have?

Yes

* 40. Have you ever written a song or poem for someone?

Yes

* 41. Have you had sex so far this year?

No

* 42. How long can you just kiss until your hands start to wander?

I could kiss for hours

* 43. How long was your longest relationship?

Little over three years

* 44. How many boyfriends/girlfriends have you had?

2 boyfriends and 3 girlfriends

* 45. How many people did you kiss in 2012/2013?

I have no idea. I think maybe like 4?

* 46. How many times did you have sex last year?

None

* 47. How old are you?

28

* 48. If the person you like says they like someone else, what would you say?

Nothing, be supportive

* 49. If you have a boyfriend/girlfriend, what is your favorite thing about him/her?

N/a

* 50. If your first true love knocked on your door with apology and presents, would you accept?

That would be extremely strange lol. He has a whole child, I have not seen him in over 15 years? I think? And he doesn’t have anything to apologize about.

* 51. Is there a boy/girl who you would do absolutely everything for?

Yes

* 52. Is there anyone you’ve given up on? Why?

Yes. Cause it’s toxic to hold on to people who have moved on.

* 53. Is there someone mad because you’re dating/talking to the person you are?

No

* 54. Is there someone you will never forget?

Yes

* 55. Share a relationship story.

One doesn’t come to mind.

* 56. State 8 facts about your body

That’s a lot...

1. I’m 5’7

2. I have black hair that’s currently shaved down to a #2

3. My ears are stretched to 5/8”

4. I have the following piercings; septum, nose, tongue, ear cartilage, stretched lobes. I used to have my lip pierced but I retired it.

5. I have 13 (I think) tattoos

6. I don’t shave my legs or my arm pits (but I don’t have thick body hair 👎🏼)

7. My nails are typically short cause I bite them

8. I don’t bruise or cut easily; I have barely any scars

* 57. Things you want to say to an ex

Nothing really

* 58. What are five ways to win your heart?

I really can’t think of anything. My mood changes too much.

* 59. What do you look like? (Post a picture!)

I’ll post it at the end.

* 60. What is the biggest age difference between you and any of your partners?

Of people I actually dated, it’s only been like a year. Of people I’ve hooked up with.... I honestly don’t know cause I don’t remember one of their ages but it was significantly older. Like. 10 years at least.

* 61. What is the first thing you notice in someone?

Eyes

* 62. What is the sexiest thing someone could ever do for/to you?

I honestly don’t think about it lol

* 63. What is your definition of “having sex”?

If there is genitalia involved.

* 64. What is your definition of cheating?

Chances are if you’re hiding it, it’s cheating.

* 65. What is your favourite foreplay routine?

I like making out idk. Hand leading is also great.

* 66. What is your favourite roleplay?

See above.

* 67. What is your idea of the perfect date?

I’m simple. Movie, food. Just going somewhere and talking. Or parking the car somewhere and talking.

* 68. What is your sexual orientation?

Queer

* 69. What turns you off?

Rudeness, being judge mental, cockiness. Can’t think of anything else.

* 70. What turns you on?

Intelligence, humor, consent.

* 71. What was your kinkiest wet dream?

I can’t remember lol

* 72. What words do you like to hear during sex?

Genuine reactions.

* 73. What’s something sweet you’d like someone to do for you?

Nothing

* 74. What’s the most superficial characteristic you look for?

I’m weak for green eyes and thick lips.

* 75. What’s the sweetest thing anyone’s ever done for you?

I mean, just dating me is pretty nice of them so

* 76. What’s the sweetest thing you’ve ever done for someone?

Idk. I’m not a very sweet person.

* 77. What’s your opinion on age differences in relationships?

Large age gaps make me uncomfortable

* 78. What’s your dirtiest secret?

I don’t have any dirty secrets. I don’t think.

* 79. When was the last time you felt jealous? Why?

I don’t remember cause if I start to feel jealous I usually shove that shit down. I’m sure it was recently tho.

* 80. When was the last time you told someone you loved them?

Told my friend earlier

* 81. Who are five people you find attractive?

I’ll do celebrities; Tessa Thompson, Hunter Schafer, Demi Lovato, Alia Shawkat, and Katya Zamo

* 82. Who is the last person you hugged?

Friend, Maria

* 83. Who was your first kiss with?

Some kid in elementary school technically, but I don’t count that. I say my first boyfriend in 8th grade.

* 84. Why did your last relationship fail?

Life happens. I’m not getting into it.

* 85. Would you ever date someone off of the Internet?

Sure.

Current picture, as promised.