#also I love that the skeleton is like ‘okay buddy you can get off now’

[sweetest-honeybee]

Casually sobbing

[abbu0414]

Boarding Lessons (snowboarding!Ghost x fem!reader)

Word Count: 552

♪ Song to Listen To: A Dream With a Baseball Player by Faye Webster

I know this is really short but it's based off of a Tik Tok I saw this morning and it was literally the CUTEST thing I've ever seen.

This was literally the worst and most embarrassing experience of your life. Seeing so many people go down the hill with ease, and then you only being able to fall on your ass. You had been brought by your best friend and her boyfriend and they were the cutest skiing couple you had ever seen. It was disgusting, but you had been a hopeless romantic your whole life so it was easy to get over. 

You had been snowboarding maybe once or twice in your life when you were younger, but it is so much harder to relearn now that you are 21. Unfortunately, you had forgotten what the levels of slopes were so here you were…stuck on the top of the black diamond. 

“I-I don’t know that I can do this.” You said to your friend. But it was too late, her and her boyfriend were already down the hill.

“FAKE ASS BITCHES” You yell down the hill in frustration. You had decided to get over yourself and just go down. That’s easier said than done because you’re not even half way down the hill and you’ve fallen about seven times.

You would’ve been down the slope sooner but this group of assholes sped down the hill racing each other, and just about running you over on their boards. You fell yet again and burst into tears under your goggles. You laid in the starfish position and just sobbed for a few minutes. You hear another snowboarder make their way down.

“Slow down ya bunch of muppets!” A thick British accent pokes through the skeleton balaclava and a pair of goggles look down at you. 

“Would you like some help…?”

“Y/N, and yes I would. Your buddies are kind of assholes.” He lifts his goggles on top of his helmet and raises an eyebrow.

“Well I apologize for them, but what are you doing on the black diamond then love?” You turn bright red.

“My friend dragged me up here and went down with her boyfriend” You frowned. You see his cheek bones lift a little bit under his mask and loose strands of blonde hair poke out of his helmet as he stretches out his hand. He easily lifts you off the ground and holds on to your hands.

“I’ll help you down the slope, yeah?”

“Y-yeah okay,” You kept hold of his big, gloved hands and looked him in the eyes. “Don’t let me go, I cannot fall again in front of all of these people.” 

“I’ve got you love, bend your knees a little.” After a while it was smooth sailing and you both got to the bottom of the slope. You see a group of men approach him.

“We’ve been waiting FOREVER for you Ghostie, what took you so lo-” A man with a mohawk gets shoved by his friend. 

“Johnny, shut up, he’s flirting.” His friend says, rolling his eyes.

You looked up at him while his friends walked away shoving each other while unlocking your boarding boots. 

“Ghostie? Is that what I should call you too?” You laugh to yourself.

“You can call me Simon, and you can also call me anytime” He winks. You look down in your glove and see his number on a piece of paper crumpled up as he walks away.

‘Call me soon for boarding lessons Lovie ;) -S’

[mikeandikeschmidt]

FNAFMovie!Incorrect Quotes: Part Four

WILLIAM, as Steve Raglan: You're clearly not listening. I can say whatever I want, can't I?

MIKE, half asleep: Tell me about it.

WILLIAM: I murdered another kid last night.

MIKE: I feel you.

WILLIAM: Now I have the taste of blood, I can't stop killing.

MIKE, yawning: Been there

***

MIKE: If I seem intense, that's for one reason and one reason only, okay? I don't wanna be here and I'm really sad.

***

VANESSA: Why is Barbie's the Nutcracker the only good film adaptation of the ballet that has ever been made?

MIKE, who’s been around Abby too long: Because Barbie movies slap, next question.

***

WILLIAM: it's time for you to die.

ABBY: One sec, let me ask my brother

WILLIAM: It's not a choi--

ABBY: Mike said no.

***

MIKE: I did what I could, you know, while I was also trying not to bleed to death.

***

WILLIAM: I will ruin your happiness, no matter the cost!

MIKE: My happiness?

MIKE, turning to Vanessa: I'm happy?

***

ABBY: You wanna see how hardcore I am?

ABBY: *punches wall*

ABBY:

ABBY: Take me to the hospital.

***

MIKE: Well, well, well. If it isn’t my old friend...the dawning realization that I messed up bad.

***

MRS. AFTON: Hey, it's your turn to wash dishes.

WILLIAM: I'LL WASH THE WALLS RED WITH YOUR BLOOD

MRS. AFTON: 'Kay, but before that, wash the dishes. Also, use soap this time?

***

WILLIAM, a career counselor: Look, I would like to give you moral advice, but I have very questionable morals.

***

MIKE: You're my little sister and the most important thing in the world to me. I would do anything for you.

ABBY: I want you to eat three meals a day and have a decent sleep schedule.

MIKE: Absolutely not.

***

MIKE: What doesn't kill me should run, because now I'm ticked off

***

MIKE: You saved me. I owe you my life.

VANESSA: No, thanks. I’ve seen it and I’m not very impressed.

***

WILLIAM, first interviewing Mike: You look familiar. Have I killed one of your loved ones before?

***

MIKE: Fool me once, I’m gonna kill you

***

MIKE: Do you have any skeletons in your closet?

WILLIAM: You mean literally or figuratively?

MIKE: Honestly, the fact that I have to specify...

***

WILLIAM: 'Person of interest' is almost too flattering.

WILLIAM: Like, if the police were to pound on my door and go, 'Someone has been murdered in your building and you are a person of interest,' I'd be like, 'Moi? Oh, do go on.'

***

VANESSA: I've already sent good vibes your way… they’re coming. There’s nothing you can do to stop them.

MIKE: This is the most threatening way I’ve ever been cheered up.

***

MIKE: People are always asking me if I'm a morning person or a night person. And I'm just like, 'Buddy! I'm barely even a PERSON!'

***

ABBY: Oh just so you know, it's very muggy outside

MIKE:

MIKE: Abby, I swear, if I step outside and all of our mugs are on the front lawn...

ABBY: *Sips chocolate milk from bowl*

***

MIKE: Schrödinger’s cat is overrated. If you wanna see something that’s both dead and alive you can talk to me any time of the day.

(This can apply to both the movie and the game)

***

VANESSA: You know, I'm starting to regret showing you how that blender works.

MIKE, drinking toast: Why do you say that?

***

MIKE: Okay, maybe playing, "Whose family is more dysfunctional" was a bad idea. Vanessa's sobbing in the bathroom now. We can't get her out.

***

MIKE: I slept for almost 12 hours but I might still be tired so let's go for 12 more just incase.

VANESSA: Mike, that's a coma.

MIKE: Sounds festive.

***

VANESSA: Don’t worry, I know exactly what I’m doing. Everything is going to be fine!

MIKE: How can you still say that?

VANESSA: Because sometimes, when things get tough, denial is all we have.

***

WILLIAM: Okay. I get it. You've had a really hard time lately, you're stressed out, seven people died-

VANESSA: Twelve, actually.

WILLIAM: Not the point. Look, they're dead now and really, whose fault is that?

VANESSA: Yours!

WILLIAM: That's right: no one's.

***

[Mike is the only one raising Abby after his dad’s depressed and his mom lost it]

MIKE: I think I'm having a mid-life crisis.

Mike’s Dad: You're, like, 15 years old

MIKE: I MIGHT DIE AT 30!

***

WILLIAM, sitting with his back turned: I’ve been expecting you, Michael

MIKE: How did you do that without turning around?

WILLIAM: ...To be perfectly honest, the first couple of people I did that to were not you.

***

[The career counselor scene]

MIKE, explaining why he's gone through so many jobs: Bad things keep happening to me, like I have bad luck or something.

WILLIAM: Mike, you don't have bad luck. The reason bad things happen to you is because you're stupid

***

MIKE, banging on the door: Vanessa! Open up!

VANESSA: Well, it all started when I was a kid...

MIKE: No, I meant--

ABBY: Let her finish.

***

[itsplutohere]

a very appropriately unhinged review of will wood's music (except for icimi)

I rate every will wood song because wtf else do i do with my pathetic life

6up 5oh Cop-Out (Pro/Con):

10/10-fuck yes we are BOPPING. we are CRIMINALS. we are STARTING OFF STRONG!

Skeleton Appreciation Day in Vestal, NY (Bones):

4/10-okay we are kinda bing chilling. it’s okay :P kinda triggers me a lil cuz it reminds me of EDs???

Front Street:

10000/10-YESSSSSSSSSSSS YES YES GOING FERAL INJECT THIS INTO MY FUCKING VEINS!!!!!!

¡Aikido! (Neurotic/Erotic):

4.7/10-it slaps a liiiiittle but not that hard. like it kneads. it kneads not slaps.

White Knuckle Jerk (Where Do You Get Off?):

9/10-it both slaps and i can jumpscare ppl with the surgery line??? fuck yes sign me up!!!

Cover This Song (A Little Bit Mine):

2/10-ew too slow. yucky nasty bleh hiss ew hiss

Thermodynamic Lawyer Esq, G.F.D.:

8.5/10-i hold ur M O M in contempt

Red Moon:

10/10-CRIMINALLY UNDERRATED. ME WHEN I WALK THE EQUATOR CHASING THE LIGHT.

Lysergide Daydream:

5/10-mid!!!! muh-muh-muh-MID!!!

The First Step:

9.5/10-MUNCH. OMNOMNOM DINNER NOW. IM JUST A BOOZIN BASTARD,

Jimmy Mushrooms’ Last Drink: Bedtime in Wayne, NJ:

1/10-this exists???

Chemical Overreaction/Compound Fracture:

10/10-when ur an unhinged girlie in the middle of a yeehaw desert

Everything is a Lot:

3.5/10-deep but the deepness doesnt stop it from being too slow for me

Destroy to Enjoy:

7.5/10-surprisingly good for laundromat ambience and chanting??? we r bodhisattva we r buddha dying waking up ig <3

Self-:

7/10-too good for a 6/10 but not good enough for a 8/10. still slaps tho

2012:

9.5/10-FUCK!!!! (inhales) (iwasanexistentialcriminalsoinnocentlycynicalignorantasfuckbutaproudindividual-)

My mom also likes it :D :D :D

Cotard’s Solution (Anatta, Dukkha, Anicca):

8.4/10-starts slow but then GOES UNIMAGINABLY HARD!!!! jumpscare ur friends with it!!!

Mr. Capgras Encounters a Secondhand Vanity: Tulpamancer’s Prosopagnosia/Pareidolia (As Direct Result of Trauma to the Fusiform Gyrus):

8/10-me when i try to replace myself.

The Song With Five Names a.k.a. Soapbox Tao a.k.a. Checkmate, Atheists! a.k.a. Neospace Government (A.K.A. You Can Never Know):

30/10-WOOO BABEY. OH MAN OH MAN THIS FUCKS SO HARD. IF IT WAS A PERSON I WOULD MAKE BABIES WITH IT-

THE SONAR WEEOW WEEOW WEEEOOOWWWW AT THE BEGINNING THE SUNSHINE IS A GASLIGHT PART EVERYTHING IS JUST HJADFKHNF

Hand Me My Shovel, I’m Going In!:

8/10-if i ranked it any lower i would self-crucify <3

Dr. Sunshine Is Dead:

7.8/10-i love the funky little way he sings “i fumble for the switch”. you go buddy.

-ish:

6/10-good close to the album but NOT FUNKY ENOUGH

Suburbia Overture/Greetings From Mary Bell Township!/(Vampire) Culture/Love Me, Normally:

9/10-ITS ONLY CULTUUUUUUREEEEEE!!!! AND IT SLAPS!!!! WILL WOOD COOKED FRFR

2econd 2ight 2eer (that was fun, goodbye.):

8.5/10-this actually introduced me to william woodsmith :explode: the nostalgia is def a factor

Laplace’s Angel (Hurt People? Hurt People!):

100/10-hehe gender

I/Me/Myself:

7/10-g e n d e r

…well, better than the alternative:

3/10-very sweet but too slow for my megamind

Outliars and Hyppocrates: a fun fact about apples:

9/10-i did not know this existed??? still kind of a bop

BlackBoxWarrior-OKULTRA:

10000/10-THIS SLAPS HARDER THAN AN ASIAN PARENT WHEN YOU BRING HOME A B

Marsha, Thankk You For the Dialectics, But I Need You To Leave:

7.5/10-me at therapy

Love, Me Normally:

2/10-boring ew tomato tomato

Memento Mori: the most important thing in the world:

8.5/10-SHOW TUNE ABT DEATH AND ITS INEVITABILITY YESSSS

Venetian Blind Man:

8/10-THIS IS SO UNDERRATED?????

Your Body, My Temple:

7.5/10-will wood had his whole willussy out. this song is so unapologetically horny

Yes, To Err Is Human, So Don't Be One:

9/10-silly vampire bop!!

[stealthnoodle]

Link's Big Juice Cleanse: Let's Play Tears of the Kingdom

Below the cut, I have just finished solving the weather.

You must be Tracy Chapman because I've got a fast car:

I broke my beautiful new vehicle dragging it in and out of the Gatehouse to show it off for an unappreciative audience. :( After rebuilding it twice I tried to make it move with my fan-sword, which didn't work, so I gave up and attached one of its wheels to the bokoblin arm I picked up. I will honor its memory by accidentally shattering it against a crate soon.

Zelda is in her Terra Branford cryptid era and I say good for her

Sir this is a T-rated game:

I have been repeatedly murdered by trees

I have avoided trees and discovered PONY POINTS, which are now the only thing I care about

All my ponies from my BoTW save are here!!! Now I'm even sadder that the stables wouldn't accept the wild beasts I kept trying to pretend were horses, but I can't stay sad when I have these fashionable fillies around:

I took Trotsalot the Pink on a little journey to bring wagon supplies for a sidequest. Didn't pay attention to how much I needed, so I dragged a whole wagon full of shit over the bridge past a Hinok. Had to repair it, not from the Hinok, but from a random skeleton that popped up under it. I arrive and discover I only needed two wagon wheels. OH WELL

Everyone loves Trotsalot.

Ooh, I activated a puddle and now I seem to be seeing where Zelda ended up! Back in time, looks like. Magatama abound and I am HUNGRY. I support her decision not to chow down right now, though, because she's wise not to create a time paradox in her tummy.

I need to start screenshotting the ass-backward way I solve shrine puzzles. It's very "congrats lil buddy that's the worst anyone's ever done it" followed by a moment of dawning realization of the actual point of the puzzle, which so far is never to make half a dozen fused balloon-torches.

Every time I clear a shrine or get a heart, the gloom evaporating from Link's body makes me think that he's essentially going on a hardcore juice cleanse to flush the toxins out of his body, except in Link's case the toxins actually exist and the juice is solving puzzles.

My pants have cold resistance and this somehow means that I can run around topless and be utterly untroubled by a blizzard. Link is comfortable, actually:

Go away bird children I don't want to join your cult

Uh-oh my pants are only good for level of cold, and now I'm at a two-cold altitude. I have an elixir and two dishes with hot pepper in them. I'll be fine

Uh-oh this blizzard airship is also double-cold, and I gotta find FIVE of these FANS are you FUCKING KIDDING ME

All out of cold protection! It's fine I'm fine we're all fine

A good way not to freeze to death is to eat a fish and/or mushroom skewer in mid-air every time you feel the tug of the great beyond. Try it at home, kids!

Okay, icy bug boss is finally down and there is another magatama. No one eats it, but touching it lets you talk to your long-dead ancestors, apparently.

Love this wild-ass mask on the ancient bird, who wears his deliciously curved power source as an anklet.

Zelda babygirl what are you doing to history. If you're cool with paradoxes why don't I hear you crunching a magatama right now. Zelda. Baby. Meet me halfway.

Instead of replacing another of my body parts, my excitable baby bird friend has bound his funky little spirit to me with a magic ring. I call foul. Give me bird leg.

All right, off to explore the world of springtime!

[petitebonnie]

♡ FNAF 1 x reader ♡

Characters: Foxy

Incdudles: light angst, fluff ♡

Foxy was kinda clumsy. He was torn all over his body and had a lot of loose screws in certain places. He used to fall a lot.

No one could fix him. No one bothered to take the time to get to know him either. They all neglected him and paid more attention to the others on stage.

Who had fewer malfunctions and tending issues.

But not you, you were the new repair buddy for Foxy. You were so excited because he was your absolute favorite as a kid, still till this day!

When you two officially first met, he was defensive. He would snarl at you or even try to scratch you with his hook a few times.

Until his hook fell off.

Don't take it personally when the old technicians tried "helping" him. They were rough with taking him apart and screwing on something - or giving him half assed baths.

But you found it funny how his hook fell off, not in a mean way. He was like a baby, a baby that needed compassion, love, and a friend.

After the second day meeting him, he was still in his snarling mood. But you eased him with your honey like words.

" Hey hey.. easy. It's okay - I won't hurt you. I want to help fix you. Okay? "

His ears shifted down, tail lightly wagging. He was already sitting down, and he watched you carefully - in case if you might try something on him.

But you didn't.

You were so gentle, as if he were your own child. You'd first start with giving him a nice bath every once a week. With the fluffy cloth against his artificial fur, it felt so nice to him. He felt so warm in a way. You'd make sure he was spotless.

He appreciated that so much. He also really likes the bubbles that float onto his body or head. He likes popping them one by one.

Then, after his baths, you would open him up! Sounds weird, but you need to see what's going on with his endo-skeleton. Once you saw, there were circuits and cylinders that were put in incorrectly and carelessly.

You were furious seeing this happen to him.

No wonder why he was out of order, always falling all the time - they were way too loose. Once you fixed what's going on the inside, you fixed the outside as well.

You two then practiced walking together.

He was so shy and nervous if he would fall in front of you. But you told him you got his back no matter what. You wrapped your arm against his and held him as best as you could.

♡ You two look like penguins waddling together. ♡

He loved it when you held him or touched him. Most people don't want to ever get near him. He hears a lot of children and parents say horrible things about him outside his cove.

But when he hears you, praise him.

" Awh see? I told you, you could do it! Keep it up, captain! "

He slowly learns how to walk again. You make him want to pick you up and twirl you around the whole pizzeria.

After 2 weeks of practice, programming, making sure his cylinders were in check, no more loosened screws or hooks.

He was ready.

You two would race each other now! And well- yes, you lose every time you two raced. But it's okay! He would always pat your head and say what a great job you've done. You actually were the one to ask him to be your boyfriend. He didn't understand what a boyfriend was, but he got very butt hurt .

" Lassie? I was never ye boyfriend?.. "

You panicked, having to explain what a boyfriend was. He thought he was your boyfriend because he knows he is a boy and is your friend!

But once calming him down with kisses. He was finally okay, he didn't know kisses were a boyfriend and girlfriend thing. But you gave him kisses on his cheeks and nose before. So he thought it was a friend thing.

You two cleaned inside his cove, you decorated it like a room sorta. Where you two can hang out and cuddle. You always bring your phone so you can watch Prirates of the Caribbean.

Which was his favorite movie, by the way. He would make you paper ships as I love you, or sing pirate songs to you and sing how you are his treasure.

♡ Speaking of that- he has a light tendency to smack your butt. It's his booty, after all ♡

It's been 7 months, you two have been together, and you two just seem to bond better every month. He gave you a ring, he made it himself, and he paid close attention to how you taught him how to burn metal and put pieces together.

You knew a bit of welding. He made 4 rings and put different charms on top. He didn't know which one you would want so you get to choose!

There was a Pirate ship, a Pirate ducky, Heart diamond, and a foxy charm diamond.

You decided to pick the (Ring Choice), and he was happy. He bolted with you in his arms around the pizzeria. He was so happy because it was a promise ring.

♡ You are the first person to ever accept him. I promise he will cherish you forever. ♡

[softrozene]

Reacting to Reader’s Braces Headcanons

I took a break from my event to create this extremely self-indulgent and rushed headcanons since I finally got my braces off! I have a very strong dislike for my retainer now but it will grow on me :’) Anyway this is comfort for me since my mouth is in pain lol.

One Piece Characters Reacting to Reader getting braces vs. getting them off!

One Piece Characters x Reader (Gender-Neutral/Nonbinary)

*I just did the Straw Hats, Law, Marco, Ace, and Thatch for this! (I did not add Jinbei as a straw hat since I am still not all the way caught up)

Warnings: This is long, Fluff- The characters reacting can be considered platonic/romantic- I will have any romantic (kissing) headcanons in bold. Except Chopper. He is strictly platonic because he is baby.

This is their normal One Piece world since I was a bit curious how they would react since I imagine that if there are dentists/orthodontists in their world it would be rare or only in like huge cities like Water 7.

FLAKSDSA Honestly just imagine Reader leaves the crew once in a while to go get their adjustments done or something lmfao. We ignore logic for this one. Only care about the reactions XD

Words: 2,343

Monkey D. Luffy:

When he firsts sees the metal in your mouth he is curious!

He will be in utter awe or laugh if he thinks they look funny (which of course makes Reader’s confidence plummet lol unless you laugh with him)

May call you a robot

He wants to know why they are shaped around your teeth- It is not like the gold or silver teeth that other pirates have that accompany missing teeth

This is weird for him since your teeth seem to be trying to look straight?

When you explain the reasoning of braces to him he is even more puzzled but excited for you!

He is not sure you really need them since he likes your smile regardless but he is happy if you are happy!

As for when you get them off- He is in awe that the braces did their job! And now you get to wear this weird plastic thing in your mouth

How the heck did you even get it in there?

He has no clue what a dentist/orthodontist is so he will just call them mouth doctor and think Chopper is the one helping you lol

Kissing with them on is also a weird experience for him! (I really hate to say it but he will love if you do not clean them very well. It makes him surprised but happy if he tastes food on them alfdjaslkf I HATE THIS lol)

He likes the way the metal feels when he explores your mouth but hopefully he is not a harsh kisser- You fear something will break if he really wanted to flakdfa

When you get your braces off he is in even more shock! That is so cool! Your smile is straight now! But now you got this weird plastic thing in your mouth... He does not mind he is just forgets you wear it since it is clear!

Luffy honestly does not care what you look like smile wise from before or after. He has no preference. He only cares that you are happy with your smile!

Roronoa Zoro:

“What the hell is in your mouth?”

THIS MAN BATHES ONCE A WEEK SO I WOULD ASSUME THAT IS THE SAME WITH HIS DENTAL HYGIENE?! I really hope not. I hope he cares for his mouth and will pretend he does now falksdfja

Anyway, he sees the metal and he is confused but once you explain it, he really does not care anymore

“Oh, cool, I guess.”

If you are partners though- He will be intrigued how kissing you would be. He takes the chance and decides it is an experience for sure tasting the metal in your mouth. (May remind of blood so he pretty cool with it alfdjalk)

Speaking of blood- If something ends up poking him or cutting him... He will enjoy it to the max tbh however if it is you that is hurt he will cease all kissing and only go for pecks until later

When you get them off I think he would miss tasting the metal

When you get your braces off he does not notice at first... It takes a few smiles before he goes... “Wait a minute...”

Then it hits him!

He will smile and be happy if he notices that being braceless brings you confidence with your new smile!

Nami:

SHE NOTICES THEM IMMEDIATELY AND SHE LIKES THEM

Nami is huge on hygiene so I think she would love to know more about dental hygiene and the concept of braces

She is understanding with your diet restrictions and will scold anyone who gives you weird looks or tries to get you to eat something you should not

She is your go-to for this since she also wants to see the end result as perfect

She is tad worried in the kissing department- Not wanting to mess your braces up since she knows how much effort goes into them but she also worried about her safety and if a wire or lose bracket will poke her or worse you. So she sticks to gentle kisses until they are off

She actually goes with you to your orthodontist to see how they take them off and to be there for you

She is happy with and for you upon seeing the end result!

and now her kisses can be harder >///<

Usopp:

As a tinkerer he will notice and also be intrigued. He has never seen braces (like Luffy and Zoro) and has never heard of them

He asks so many questions

Luffy, Zoro, and him are the ones who forget your diet restrictions which causes much irritation on your side. You will constantly glare at them for offering foods or drinks you can’t have

Usopp will eventually start remembering and be considerate on your behalf

When he kisses you he is soft and gentle- Not wanting to hurt you or himself. If he tastes blood he will pass out in fear just because he will blame himself and think he hurt you. He is too sweet :’)

As soon as your braces are off he will ask SO MANY QUESTIONS about the retainer like how was it made and such? Does it feel weird?

He is just so intrigued by it and of course- It makes you smile even more.

Sanji:

Tbh I feel like he would have had them as a kid or wanted them if his dad cared enough aldfjakl

Also notices them immediately

He will actually cater to your diet needs/restrictions because he knows how much they mean to you if you are going through such a time consuming thing to get your teeth fixed

Besides that he is just a friend you can go to if you are in mouth pain- He will make something soft for you every time you go for an adjustment or tea to help sooth your mouth

If you are kissing on the other hand- If homeboy does not pass out first he will be so gentle. He is terrified of hurting you or making you uncomfortable with your braces on (and lowkey is the same way even if you get them off- You will have to be the one to make the first move)

When you get them off- It is a food celebration! Whatever you missed eating or that you could not eat he will make it all for you!

He does notice if you are smile more and if you are more confident with your new smile! : )

Tony Tony Chopper:

HE IS YOUR BEST FRIEND DURING YOUR BRACES TIME.

He will constantly worry about any mouth pains and since he is a doctor is intrigued how someone labeled as a doctor for teeth does their jobs

He will asks questions constantly and write about your journey with this

10/10 cutie and best buddy for this

Make sure he is stocked on simple pain meds for you

Nico Robin:

She notices them but does not say anything or ask questions unless you want to talk about

She is sweet and looks out for you

Makes sure Sanji helps with your diet restrictions

Besides that she does not notice much or ask much

She is just happy that you are doing this for yourself

Her kisses concerning this are always gentle. She refuses to risk anything with you until after your braces are gone. Only then will she let herself become more heated with kisses.

After your braces she will always compliment your smile (and tell you it was beautiful before too but notes how confident you are)

Cyborg Franky:

“WHOA THAT IS SUPPPPPERRRR!”

He likes them.

That is all.

Okay but seriously. As a man who completely turned himself into a machine in the front he has mad respect for you for putting metal in your mouth. Like that concept is wild to him since the mouth is so sensitive (yet he also can blow flames out his mouth due to working on it aldfjal)

He will refuse to kiss you since he knows how is strength and hard kisses can damage your brackets/wires so he refuses anything until after they are safely off.

Besides that after your braces are off and you have your retainer on (He honestly didn’t notice the retainer lol) He will go “You have a SUPERRRR smile!”

Brook:

Brook honestly does notice them at first but he does not say anything until you do

Cue his jokes: “I NOTICE THE METAL IN YOUR TEETH WITH MY EYES BUT WAIT I DO NOT HAVE ANY EYES YOHOHOHO”

Besides that he is not that interested in them

For kissing though he also refuses to do so since he is straight up a skeleton. He does not want to risk his bone breaking ANYTHING. Though he will peck your cheek. Even after you get them off he is hesitant since he is a skeleton- That does not mean he will not try. If you ask he will get flustered and be gentle for you

When you get your braces off- Brook may tease you and say your teeth are almost as straight as his! And remind you constantly that he is a skeleton adlfjakl

Trafalgar Law:

Is just a king- I should stop all headcanons here alfdkaldks

He knows what braces are and is not that interested in the work only because he prefers his medicinal studies that are more morbid than the mouth

However, he is very observational still and notes how you care for them and what your diet is

For kissing- He acts like he does not care but he is gentle and careful when things gets heated. He is actually a big softie so he will do everything to avoid ruining your braces that would involve a setback.

After you get your braces off he also notices how much more confident you are. How much brighter your smile is because of that

Besides that- He does not make a big deal out of it

Marco the Phoenix:

He and the Whitebeard pirates have been nearly everywhere and met all kinds of people so he is not that surprised when he notices that you have braces

He has seen them before so not a big deal

Much like Law, Marco will not make a big deal out of it

However, if you both are close to each other he may tease you whenever you develop a lisp or when are embarrassed after an adjustment.

Either way he means it with a good heart

God- Kisses with Marco when you have braces are so, so, so, gentle. He is the king of kisses no matter what. He is careful but he sure as hell will not let the metal win when you both get heated. So he knows how to maneuver around your mouth with his tongue >///<

When you get your braces off- It is a celebration with the whole crew. Marco helps plan it and of course takes photos of your smile afterwards since you have every right to be proud of your smile

He will always comment on how your smile is brighter

Portgas D. Ace:

Also with Marco (and Thatch) he is rather used to seeing different kinds of people with different situations so he is not surprised to see metal in your mouth

However when you get close to him he does ask questions and get intrigued

He only teases you when you have some trouble speaking a few words but besides that- He is also respectful and does not think much of the braces

Though since he is one that eats all the time he tries to be considerate for you since he knows that it can be frustrating with your diet restrictions

If you are in a relationship with him he actually is not confident in kissing you with your braces. It is because he cares so much about you and because of his self-loathing- He would HATE if he messed up your braces so he is cautious and tries not to push anything until after you get your braces off

When your braces comes off homeboy is going to dine-and-dash with you EVERYWHERE

Thatch-

Like the other two- Thatch is used to this kind of thing so he is not surprised

Since he is the culinary chef for the Whitebeard Pirates you bet your butt he will have better foods for you to suit your needs

He is also teasing like the others and may take it a far sometimes but he will remind you that you are good with or without braces!

He constantly makes sure you are doing fine though since he is aware of how the other whitebeard pirates may not be as considerate as he is

Kisses with Thatch are gentle but I think if it gets too heated he may forget that he is supposed to be gentle. He definitely ends up tearing up his tongue on the metal if this is the case and he feels bad if you feel bad- If not he will laugh it off and continue if you want

After you get your braces off- He will check with what you want to celebrate! What kind foods you have to eat first and you get the honor of taking the first bite!

OKAY LAST BUT NOT LEAST HERE IS A LIST ON WHO WOULD MAKE SURE YOU ACTUALLY WEAR YOUR RETAINER :’):

Would forget you you wear a retainer so they would not be helpful as a reminder: Luffy, Zoro, Franky, Brook, Ace

Remembers then forgets after a while: Usopp and Thatch

Makes you wear your retainer as instructed and will give you a death glare (out of love of course) if you are not doing so: Nami, Robin, Sanji, Chopper, and Marco

Will make sure you wear your retainer even though he says he does not care, and will murder your soul if you do not do so (out of love but he will lie about it): Law

[gorgynei]

vecna battle liveblogs ^_^

ive waited my whole life for this. under the cut because i wanted to spare ppl me liveblogging for 6 hours watching a 4 year old episode.

-

INITIATIVE TIME.

HES FUCKING AIMING ASTEROIDS AT VASSELHEIM???? he so evil. hate this loser. stop hurting the things they love

his spell dc is 26 ^_^ lord

vecna just did 133 damage with one asteroid. haha. and all their concentration spells are gone

THE TOWER SUNDERS???? WHAA

oh my god... i knew this was coming but its still so cool. and now scanlan is falling out of the sky great

why the FUCK is velora inside him. what is this. grahahahaa

GROG GOT TELEPORTED????? into the. abyss????

one legendary res gone!!!!!! yipee ^_^!!!

laura just put on her vex witch hat. incredible outstanding breathtaking amazing

i love that Pelor's blessing burned one of his legendary resistances on a concentration check from NINE points of damage. get nat 1'd bitch

NEIN skeletons raise at 20 intiative.... fuck. so much shit is going on in this and its been less than 6 seconds

OH SHIT hes immune to magic from lower than what... 6th leveL ????? oh shit. oh shit

FIRST SCANLAN COUNTERSPELL YEAHHH BOYYYY

oUGH god hes burnt 2 legendary resistances to fucking keep grog away. this sucks

VELORA OH NO. do not let her fall off entropis PLEASE

WH scanlan dimension dooring to Vecna's CHEST????? WHY

uh oh. kiki. uh oh. feeblemind. ohn o. oh thank god counterspell

oough vecna is so high up

grog stuck in the abyss maze "being smart" by healing and trying to stay calm. daw buddy that IS smart ur so smart

oh no. oh no. feeblemind. oh no. keyleth. ohH SCANLANS INSPIRATION SAVES THE DAY BY ADDING JUST ONE GAHAHA

uh oh vecna negated all resistance to necrotic. whats he gonna do

WHATS THIS??? ITS DEVO'SSA WITH A STEEL CHAIR!!!!!!!

another legendary res down!! fuck yes!!!

NO SCANLAN TWO V_V NOOO

planatar kiki. awesome. there is so much flying shit on this map

GROGS BACK OH YEAH fuck him up

72 RADIANT DAMAGE LETS GO PIKE SHES A MONSTAHHHHH get the trammels GET THE TRAMMELS

oh god eagle scanlan. 1 hit point o no

OH GOD. METEOR STORM AGAIN THATS SO MUCH FUCKING DAMAGE. 20d6 fire and 20d6 bludgeoning. lol

scanlan is unconsciousDEATH WARD OH M YGOFS THAT SO CLUTCH I TOTALLY FORGOT

wait theres a break in this episode. LMAO i didnt know that ^_^

break! okay break over.

shit fuck balls forcecage around Jmon SUCKS

VELORA IS FUCKING DEAD???????????? on the floor

scanlan back unconcious. vecna is getting so much mileage out of a fucking firebolt

OH HES BACK UP AGIAN VAXILDAN HELL YEAH okay now. vax is on vecna's face. O_O

"Goodnight, Bitch's Prince" PLEASEBHFD WHY DID HE CALL THE RAVEN QUEEN A BITCH ?????? VECNA CURSING IS CRACKING ME UPEHDSBHF

OH MY GOD KASHAW AND ZAHRA OH MY GOD I DIDNT KNOW THEY WERE IN THSI FIGHT HI OH MY GOD OH MY GOD HELLO!!!!!!!!!

finger of death at vecna!!! its what he deserves

the platforms are MOVING??? jesus balls

im at the halfway mark now ^_^ nothing THAT bad has even happened yet! ^_^

MASS HEAL YEah. counterspell. HEX !!! MASS HEAL GOES THROUGH!!!! 3d chess. HUGE. HUGE. HUGE. everyones at max again thats HUGE

oh. goodbye kashaw and zahra theyre falling o_O ZAHRAS PRENGNAC?T????????? plot twist.

OH FUCK ASS HE HAS ANOTHER FUCKING 9TH LEVEL SPELL ??!?!??D?@? #?#?#@ ?%#%#@????? the fact that theyre still alive thru THREE meteor storms is wild

scanlan is BARELY hanging on rn THRREEE HITPOINTTSSS.......

ARKHAAAAN HELL YEAH YEAH WOOOOO they needed u. it was getting dire ALSO. arkhan can TOTALLY drive in a trammel hes strong enough for it eyes emoji

grog is doing like 80 a round with kas that sword is SO good

otalukes sphere is a great plan from scanlan hes gotta GOTTA be alive to read the rites of banishment. i sure hope this doesnt backfire

YEEEESSSSS!!!! GET THAT BITCH IN HIS SKULLLL UWAHAHAAA

"how does it FEEL? i will USURP you! i will TAKE you! i will BE you!!" um. kas ^_^ hows it going there buddy thats a little.

NO NOT FINGER OF DEATH dont "lets do finger of death :)" me matthew

well. there goes otalukes sphere. oh no

i just noticed that joe says "die" instead of "dee" in 1d8, 2d6, etc. i cant stop focusing on it now

TRAMMEL!! TRAMMEL!!! TRAMMEL!!!!!! GO KEYLETHTAR GO

OH MY GOD THE RAVEN QUEEN TRMAMEL SI JUST FUCKING DESTROYED??????? HOW W I. ITS A 50% CHANCE NOW THAT VECNA SAVES FROM THE RITES. UAEKAKJSAKENWA

WAHAUAHWAANDJSAHEJFBJEA INCREIDBLE

oh no. nonononononono not finger of death at scanlan. no scanlan has been on the BRINK so many times

scanlan using minor illusion to turn vex's skin green. EXACTLY the comedic relief i needed rn

FUCK. grog and scanlan banished. fuck fuck fuck thats so bad. okay theyre back its fine ^_^

HES TELEPORTING??? OH MY GOD OH MY GOD. NONO. NO . NO. NO. NO THIS DOESNT HAPPEN WHAT HAPPENS WHO STOPS IT NONONOO

OHOOOWHADBASKJFEEAKS INSANE INSANE OH MY GOD

"that was gonna save vax...." SAMUEL... on the floor. he looks so sad q_q argh

"you can see a moment panic in a fresh gods eyes" OHJDBHF THATS A SICK LINE MATTHEW

GET HIS ASS WITH THE TRAMMEL GROG. FUCK YEAH FUCK YEAH. NOW. THE RITES

i didnt expect vax to be all emo and start preparing for his death before vecnas even DEAD stop it with the "i think of my family and i think of my sister and i think of keyleth" shit!!! sobbing

CHILLS CHILLS CHILLS CHILLSA DJWAJKHSEAHEABHB THIS IS SO COOOOOLLLL. THE RITES OF BANISHMENT ARE ANCIENT AND POWERFUL.

NATURAL 20 ON COUNTEPSLEBHANJDWJA FUCK EYAH EAYFUAUEAUHAHE THIS IS SO SICK. SCANLAN HAS BEEN SOOOOO CLUTCH

oogh. fuck. scanlan banished. the book is gone AND they cant just dps vecna for concentration because if they kill him its game over. googh

OH JESUS THE TITANS ARM IS COMING DOWN ON THEM ????????????? FUCING HELL

SCANLANS BACK!!! THANK GOD

vex is holding percys hand :"| what. thats so adorable. god

AND vax is kissing keyleth??!??@ v_v theyre so sweet

OUGHFROAUHFBUWAEJBDN FINALLY FINALLY FINALLY FINALLY YES. GOD UFCK EJSSUS AHJWAKBDSNFJESUSKDSANJFHAMWAUAHHA EUGH AUGH AEOHGAUG

GOD. SUCH A GOOD FUCKING FIGHT. I DIDNT EFVEN DO ANYTHING ELSE WHILE WATCHING IT I JUST WATCHED AND WAS FULLY ENTERTAINED. im not a combat lover. but i do love the vecna combat. best combat in critical role. god. wow. fuck

"You all take a moment to imagine what you've lost, what you've gained... Everything has led to this moment. In the quiet and the stillness, you hear a new sound. Its thousands and thousands of distant voices cheering from the city of Vasselheim below." punching the air. this got me. im tearing up

aaand arkhan takes the hand. ^_^ well. i already knew that was coming so im not shocked but. very swag and evil moment

wow. fucking great episode matthew. i need to lie down after that.

[kaylathekittykat225]

Carnival Ride of Horror // Steve Harrington x Reader

Carnival of Horror // SH

Warning/s: Cursing, laughing at inappropriate times, (very minimal) mentions/implications of abuse/stalking (just wanna warn, its super small but just in case!)

Word Count: 3.5k

Hey guys! It’s been a bit since I’ve written, lemme tell you, life has been kinda crappy and its just a little less crappy now! So I decided to start pecking at the keyboard again and this is what came of it! This lovely person requsted this work and I just got around to starting to really write because I had a free week. Anywhoodles, it’s good to write something again and I hope yall enjoy it!

Again thank you for this idea @seraphiiii

omg i came across your post about writing ideas in my feed and got so excited to see both steve harrington and young justice in the tags lmao. but i think a steve harrington x reader where reader and him go to an amusement park and reader is terrified of the rides so he’s like comforting her throughout them and encouraging her but also laughing (in a good natured way obvi) about how scared she is and stuff? i think that would be so cute!!

Here’s my Masterlist.

Enjoy.

-----

“Stevie, when we agreed to have a date night away from the kids, I didn't think we would be going into a mass of more kids.” As he pulled the keys out, you stared at the bright light shining machinery that had been set in the middle of a field outside the city. The annual summer fair had finally made its way to Hawkins, and it had left a buzz in the air as everyone planned when they would go, talked about what rides had come this year, who their ride buddy would be; it had been all the kids had been talking about for weeks. They put a day together the coming weekend to go as a group and they planned to drag Steve and you along on the off chance that they needed an “adult” to allow them on the rides.

Funny how they assumed either Steve or you knew how to adult.

“Cause I thought it would be a nice change from us just watching movies or having dinner.”

“Oh, so dino nuggets are no longer date-worthy for you.” Steve almost took you seriously, but he saw the grin that has graced your lips at your own comment. He relaxed a little knowing that you weren’t upset with his idea for date night, but he had always wanted to kiss someone at the top of a Ferris Wheel, and he would do anything to get you to the top of the rotating ride.

“So, you’re not mad that I chose here for tonight?” You shook your head and pulled at the door handle separating the two of you from the outside life.

“Of course not Stevie, I just thought it was an interesting choice.” The smile you chose to have was one that hopefully convinced him that you were okay with where the pair of you were going, even if you weren’t happy with the choice.

You can be happy with the idea of going to a carnival as long as you don’t go on-”Cool, so what ride do you want to do first?”

“Shit.” The world slipped out before you could stop yourself as Steve finished paying for your tickets and asked what you had said. “Nothing just kicked myself. Um…” You looked around frantically for something to do that wasn’t flashing brightly and spinning faster than the legal highway speed. “Let’s go over there!”

Steve followed your hand as he saw you point towards the stands of games that were rigged and way too fricking expensive, but he would do it for you. “Alright, starting out with some games I see, I like it.”

The two of you ran through a few of the games, most of them where Steve got way too into it and you had to step between them as he tried screaming that he deserved that stuffed bear/pony/cat/fish, because he almost had it every single time. He did beat out the basketball one, one of the last ones the two of you did on that strip, bolstering his confidence just enough to get him into a cheery enough mood.

“Alright! We played some games, and let the crazies test out the rides so I’m pretty sure they won’t break down on us. Which one should we do first? They got a drop tower, or how about the pit viper swings? Or, or, or how about we…” The night had been going enjoyable up until Steve turned to the rides you had managed to distract him from and pointed at the glowing and fast-moving monsters.

“How about we do the haunted walk over there?” Steve followed your pointing finger with a quizzical look, he hadn’t really taken note of the scary attraction before, never thought to really look to it with everything else going on. “I bet it won’t even be scary to us after everything we’ve been through right ha.”

You took off with a dry laugh without waiting for a response from him; his cries were head behind you, but the haunted house looked better than anything else around you. “Y/N.” He called you again, but you walked faster. By the time you got to the stairs leading into the building, you were practically running up them to get into the dark house with smoke billowing out of it.

“Y/N!” Your name was the last thing you heard before diving through the door and physically bumping into one of the scarers dressed as a zombie. He seemed nice, breaking character enough to ask if you were okay before you had already turned the corner and left him behind too.

Twisting and turning, you didn’t pay much mind to the screaming witches, zombies, skeletons, or anything that happened all around you; over the music and screaming, you could vaguely hear your name, giving you an indication that Steve followed you.

Not too far in, you found a quieter corner with only a couple cobwebs around it where you quickly ducked back into and tried pressing yourself into it deeper, hoping to watch Steve walk right by you.

Why the hell were you running from your boyfriend? You gained a sense of logic for a second where you paused. Why were you running? This was super childish of you and really had no reason. All Steve wanted to do was go on a few rides and you were being selfish and completely ruining what was going to be one of the few evenings you didn’t have to babysit the kids.

As the guilt started to swirl with your desire to not be found, you didn’t notice as the Frankenstein in the room had taken notice of you hiding in the corner and started to tromp over to you. “Hey, miss, you can’t be hiding in here, you gotta keep moving.”

“I’ll be out in a second, sir, let me just-” “You can’t be here-” “If you give me a second, I will leave as soon as I can-” “Miss you have to leave-” “Give me one dan minute-” “Y/N!”

Among all the screaming the Frankenstein and you had been doing was your name being called by a third and new voice along with a hand clasping onto your shoulder. Looking to the hand, you saw the unmistakable outline of the man you were hiding from. “There you are babe, why were you running off.” Just looking at the Frankenstein’s demeanor, you could tell he went into defense mode suddenly.

“Were you hiding from him miss? Are you okay? Do you feel safe?” The painted man moved to step between you and Steve in an attempt to separate you two.

“Whoa, whoa buddy, back off. She’s my girlfriend, chill out.” Steve tried stepping around the man o little success.

“Oh, your girlfriend? And she’s running from you? I don’t think this is looking very good for you, buddy.” The two were shooting back and forth at each other, getting chest to chest, and starting to cause a larger disturbance that started o be heard over the music and background scream noises. More workers it looked like started to slip into the room and try to get the two men to quiet down, going so far as to begin threats of throwing them out of the haunted house.

You were pulled away from the situation before being pushed away and into the next room, looking like it was on its way to the exit in the next two or three rooms: your destination.

-----

“Y/N?” His voice finally chirped up next to you as Steve took a seat next to you on the grass at the edge of the carnival. “You okay?” When he saw you sitting over here, he had quickly jogged over and took her in as he did so: sitting with her face pressed into her knees and arms wrapped tightly around her legs as she kept herself in as tight of a ball as possible.

You didn’t respond at first, only moving your head to look up at your boyfriend, the person you have embarrassed tonight and most definitely pissed off with your childish antics tonight. “I’m sorry.”

“Whoa what do you have to apologize for? I’ve been worried about you and wanted to make sure that you are okay.” His hand found its way to your back and began rubbing circles into your shoulder blade.

“I was really childish today and you didn’t deserve it, all because I was scared of the stupid rides.” Your words may have been mumbles, but he heard every word clearly.

“Hold on. Babe, did you say you were scared of the rides?” Your small and timid nod was enough for him to understand. “Why didn’t you tell me? I never would have brought you here if I knew that!”

Swallowing the thick feeling in your throat, you looked up at him and saw the disappointment and hurt in his face and that hurt. “Because you were so excited about it, I thought I could get through it and do at least one or two with you. But as we got closer, I guess my nerves got the best of me and I just...ran. Like a stupid child.”

“Hey, hey, hey, no.” Steve quickly shuffled to kneel in front of you and grabbed your hands, holding them in his own and your legs fell down to where you were now criss cross apple sauce. “I’m not gonna force you to do any of these rides if you don’t wanna. If you want to just go home, we can make this a movie night if that works better for you.”

“No, Stevie,” His mouth quirked up at this name. “You already bought the tickets; I don’t want you to waste the money you earned because I’m a scaredy cat.”

Steve took a second to think, racking his brain on how to salvage what has been an eventful evening. “How about…” He paused again and just stared at you with you staring back at him, waiting to hear what he wanted to say. “You can say no, how about we try a few rides, to try and get you on some. If you don’t like riding after one, we can go home, and you can at least say you did it.”

Mulling this idea over in your head, your eyes shifted from where your boyfriend sat in front of you to the bright and joyous scream filled rides were. “I suppose they don’t all look so bad.” You murmured to him, staring particularly at the giant Ferris Wheel that turned, a small memory from early on in your relationship popping into your head. Steve had mentioned a few times that his dream date would be to take a girl up on a Ferris Wheel and cuddle her and kiss her when they got to the top.

“Okay, we can try a few.” Though shaky, your voice was a little stronger this time and you gave Steve a small smile.

“You sure?” A nod. “Okay, I’ll let you choose which one we go on, okay?” Another nod.

Together, the two of you stood to your feet and approached the hustle and bustle of the carnival grounds again. “What did that Frankenstein do to you? I hope he didn’t get you in trouble or anything.” You asked as you laced your hand with Steve while the other went to hold onto his arm, squeezing it slightly as you got closer to the machines and your stomach growing heavy again.

“Oh him, he didn’t do much, just tried scaring me when he though I was some creep chasing you.” He chuckled at the short story, glancing over to you as you took in the carnival for really the first time, looking for something that didn’t freak you out. “How about we start with those spinning pods over there? All they do is spin around and if you want it to, we can make it spin on the inside too.”

Following his finger, you saw what he was referring to as it did spin around, the four small egg things with windows in them were spinning on the main machinery but also appeared to be spinning on their own. As you got closer and apparently joined the line, you could see inside one of them a group of middle school boys cackling as they pulled on the weird center disk that kinda looked like a pizza pan. “Yeah, we can give it a try.” The shakiness in your voice had come back and your grip on Steve tightened.

“Hey, you got this I’ll be right here with ya.” He returned the squeeze to your hand and fishes through his pocket for two tickets to hand over at the entrance. “Up ya go.” He mutters as he helps you up the three stairs leading into the egg ride thing you were entering before he stepped in behind you and took his place next to you. You were already holding a death grip on the center console when the door was shut, and Steve sat next to you. “You know what this is?” He asked gesturing to the disk you were holding onto with the vice grip.

“Something for me to hold onto?” You shocked yourself with how violently your voice was shaking as you heard something start to rumble around you. “Oh, shit its moving.” Steve let a quick chuckle out before he stopped himself and tried explaining the center console would cause the pod thing to spin. “Fuck no! Don’t you dare make this thing spin.” Bloody murder was not even near definitive enough of how much you were screaming.

“Babe, babe calm down, it’s fine! I promise, ha!” In comparison to your screaming, Steve seemed to be having the time of his life as he laughed; at least he wasn’t making the ride spin. “Babe, babe, babe, I’m so sorry I’m laughing, I promise I didn’t mean to, but you were screaming so much! And it was hilarious!” Steve held onto his sides as he nearly fell out of the pod and waited for you to follow his laughing self. When you didn’t step out, he turned back around and saw you still had your hands clenched very tightly to the metal plate, your eyes wide and your lips pursed together. “Sweetheart, I didn’t mean to make you feel bad about the rides, do you wanna go home?”

Hearing him soften up got you to finally look at him and slowly let go of the wheel. “N-n-no. I’m…” You paused to catch your breath and steady your voice. “I’m good, I just don’t know if I can do any more of these kinds of things.” Taking his hand, you pulled yourself up and stepped out from the ride and have yourself a few seconds to remember how to use your legs.

“You okay?” You nodded at him and gave a shaky, but okay smile. “You sure you wanna do another one? Cause we can go-”

“No, no, I can do…” The carnival really did have more rides than just ones that wanted to make you die, but none that really made you want to jump on them. “Can we do the carousel? I know I can do that one at least, my mom took me on them enough as a kid to be desensitized to those ones.” Steve looked over and saw the carousel that was filled predominately by smaller children, but if you wanted to do this and it was because he bought the tickets, he couldn’t make her do something else.

“If that’s what you wanna do, then we can do the carousel all night long, babe.” You nodded at him and followed him as he took your hand and the two began the walk to the carousel.

The carousel ride was much less curse filled, thankfully. You and Steve had found a pair of horses sitting side by side and the two of you quickly claimed them. Like you had said, you did get to enjoy this ride due to having done it before and you were able to just chat between the two of you, talking about how the kids were cute, how excited you were to take the kids to the park and not have to rides. It was a fine ride, definitely better than the last one.

“You ready to go home, babe?” Steve turned to you with a smile on his face. Getting you to ride two of the rides was honestly enough for him, plus, he knew Dustin would ride all of them with him later, with you waiting at the end for him.

You were about to agree and leave this eventful evening behind you, but you saw what Steve was standing near and bit your lip. Should you do it? Could you do it? “Actually, I wanna do one more.” He gave a quick quirk of his head before he followed your eyeline and turned around.

“What? Babe, we don’t have to do that, you have been through enough today and you were great, you don’t have to prove anything.”

“But...you have been wanting to do it, you told me about it one time.” You responded a little shyly as you confessed that you were doing it back of what he told you that one time. “I just...I really want you to be able to do it.”

“You...you remembered?” Steve was kind of shocked that you remembered him mentioning it, he had told that to girls in the past, but none of them really went out of their way to think about it, hell, even to remember it. “Are you su-”

“Steve, yes, I wanna do it with you.” The grin on his face was immaculate and contagious as one grew on your face as he quickly took this well and pulled you towards the line to the Ferris Wheel and dug around in his pockets for another round of tickets.

As it went around, you felt your stomach grow heavy again when you finally saw how high it got and had to calm yourself down without causing another scene. “Come on, babe, looks like ours is up.” He gently tugged on your hand and pulled you into the seat next to him before the handlebar was lowered and locked in front of you. “And here we go!”

The squeak that left your mouth was nothing but surprise and terror as you clung onto the bar for your life, your knuckles turning white with the sheer force you were holding on. “It’s really stupid you know that the only thing holding us back from falling to our death is this small bar and it’s really stupid because was if I was reall-holy shit this is really tall!” You finally removed your hands from the bar and moved to press yourself in Steve.

You could feel him trying to stop himself from giggling as he moved his arm to wrap it around you. “You can laugh you know; I really don’t care. I’m the coward of an almost twenty-year-old who’s scared of a carnival.” A chuckle did come through as the ride kept rotating and you slowly moved closer to the bottom.

“I’m not laughing at you, babe, but the noises you are making are fricking hilarious.” His voice still held the chuckle as he pressed a kiss to the side of your head, and you responded with another squeak of shock as you started rising again.

Making it to the top again, you were waiting for it to hit its peak and for the relief of lowering the cart to begin, but instead there was a shudder before the ride stopped. “What’s going on, what’s going on, why are we stopped? Oh god we are about to die, fuck, shit, I don’t wanna die.”

“Babe, calm down, someone below us is getting off so they had to stop the ride for a bit. Remember when we had to get on? Same thing probably happened to someone else.” You nodded your head and just stared ahead to the tops of the trees you never thought you would have seen.

“It’s...it’s not too bad up here.” You finally mutter after a few beats of silence and getting your bearings. “I wouldn’t want to stay up here, but it does look nice.” Steve hummed in agreement and pulled you a little closer. “Hey Stevie?”

“Hmm?” He responded looking down at you.

“Thanks, tonight was fun.”

His face broke out into a grin again at your thanks. “Of course, thanks for giving a few of these rides a chance.” Smiling up at him, you sat a little straighter and caught his lips with your own, the two of you humming to the other that you were happy with your evening.

Though it was not as long as Steve would have wanted to stay in that moment with you (the ride started again and you broke away with another shriek), but he wouldn’t have traded that moment for anything else in his life.

[goddesswritings]

A Change of Weather - Stardew Valley Sebastian

Title: A Change of Weather

Pairing: Stardew Valley Sebastian x Reader

Summary: Farmer Y/n has a crush on Sebastian and she’s ready to tell him how she feels with a bouquet. But things don’t go as planned thanks to Sam and his big mouth.

Word Count: 4.7k’

Masterlist

********

“She’s so perfect, Sam. Like the way she laughs and the way she makes me feel appreciated. I never thought I would feel this way about someone but wow, here I am!” Sebastian and Sam were standing by the river in front of Sam’s house and Sebastian was smoking while he talked about the woman he liked.

Sam smiled at the happiness Sebastian exuded when talking about this ‘mystery woman’. He knew it was Abigail, but he knew Sebastian wasn’t about to admit it.

“Well Seb, you should ask her out. That way she knows how you feel, and I guarantee she feels the same!” Sam had seen the signs with Abi, so he was sure she felt the same.

Sebastian smiled when he thought about her. He never saw himself falling for a farmer, but she wasn’t always a farmer. When she moved to Pelican Town, he hadn’t been all that keen on becoming friends with her, but she was persistent. So he finally cracked, and they became friends.

“I think I might.” Tomorrow was probably the best day because they were all meeting for a pizza night at Sam’s.

“Good, you deserve to be happy and from what I can see, she likes you too!” Sam clapped a hand onto his friends shoulder.

Sebastians eyes widened. “You know who it is?”

“Of course. You two are so oblivious to think no one else can see it. It’s so cute!” All the while, Sam was under the impression it was Abigail he was talking about, he didn’t suspect it to be the farmer.

“Wow, okay. Well I’m going to do it then.” It wasn’t easy for Sebastian to feel confidence because living in a house with Demetrius for 15 years, sure did a number on him.

“Good! She’s going to love it! If you can find some Amethyst, she will love that!”

“Oh yeah! That’s perfect. I think Maru has some extra amethyst she used for an experiment. She won’t miss it.”

“Great! Oh good luck, man. Although you don’t need it, she will say yes in a heartbeat.” Sam watched as his beat friend snuffed out the cigarette butt with some water.

“This will be good.” He said as he discarded the cigarette into the trash.

“It will!”

****

You felt a bit nervous as you prepared for a pizza night at Sam’s. A flower bouquet sat on the dresser taunting you. The mere thought of giving the bouquet to the desired target made you nervous.

Eight months ago, when you moved to Pelican Town, you met Sebastian the second day here. You had immediately been drawn to him. His darkness appealed to you. It had taken time for him to open up to you but when he did, things really bloomed.

“Tonight is the night we ask him out.” You said as you studied your reflection. A small bark came from Cal, your German Shepard. “Don’t worry, I’m not replacing you, bud.” He whined in reply. “Yes, we can trust Sebastian.” His reply was a positive one.

In the time you had know him, Sebastian was so good at hiding his real emotions from you. But at this point, you felt like there was something more flourishing between the two of you. You were ready to ask him if he actually wanted to explore it. You were nervous but you were also really excited.

Once you were sure you looked good enough, you put the fresh bouquet into your backpack and pet Cal on your way out. Tonight was the night you admitted your feelings to Sebastian. Hopefully, he felt the same, and things would work out for you two.

Of course, you were early to Sam’s house. His parents and his little brother were away in the city for the weekend, so he had the house completely to himself.

“Y/n! You’re here!” Sam pulled you into a warm hug as you entered the house. “You’re the first.”

You giggled. “Of course I am. Well that’s okay. I can help you set up.” You stated as you set the bag gently on the ground by the door.

“Thank you, you’re so sweet. I have mostly everything ready, I am just waiting for the pizza, which Penny said she would pick up on her way over. She will be leaving soon, once she makes sure Pam doesn’t go out to the Saloon again.” Sam said it but you both knew Pam would still go to the Saloon no matter what. She poured all her problems into alcohol and everyone knew it.

“Nice. I guess Sebastian and Abigail will be coming shortly?” Your eyes lit up when you said Sebastian, but Sam didn’t catch it.

“Oh yes. Sebastian is finally going to tell her he likes her. Finally after all this time, he’s going to admit it to her. It’s going to be adorable.” He blabbered and your heart skipped a beat.

“Wait. Sebastian likes Abigail?” You were trying your best not to let the hurt seep through.

Sam smiled. “Of course he does. They are perfect for each other. He was just telling me how much he liked her two days ago. He was going on and on about how perfect she is for him and how she makes him feel appreciated. It was so cute.”

Inside, you felt your heart cracking. Your chest suddenly felt tight when you thought about it. It truly felt like you were going to crack into several pieces right there. Of course Sebastian likes Abigail. Why wouldn’t he? They have known each other for years and she really was perfect for him. How could you have ever thought anything would happen between the two of you?

“Hey, are you okay? You look pale.”

“Um, yeah. I am okay.” You tried to even your breathing, but it was getting harder by the second.

Sam’s phone buzzed in his hand. “Oh Sebastian is almost here. He’s bringing some beer.”

You tuned out what Sam was saying as your brain tried to understand what was happening. “Actually, I’m going to head home. I suddenly don’t feel particularly good. I think I worked to hard in the sun today.”

His eyes looked up at you and he frowned. “Oh no. We told you that you were working to hard. Do you want me to walk you home?”

“No, I will be okay. Enjoy the night.” You were quick to grab your bag and sling it over your shoulder. “Bye Sam.” With that, you rushed out the door, eager to get away from anyone who you didn’t want to see you break down. You rushed off towards Marnie’s farm, to access your farm through the dirt path there.

By the time you were covered by the dark, you felt the wet tears flowing down your face. ‘Stupid. I am so stupid for thinking I even had a chance. Sebastian would never see me that.’ You berated yourself as you walked. You made it to your farm and walked through the thick trees you had yet to clear from the land. Once you were walking up the steps to the farmhouse, you felt completely defeated.

Cal was at your feet the second you unlocked the door. He could tell you were upset, and he didn’t like it. “It’s okay Cal, I just got my hopes up for nothing.”

You set the backpack on the small dining table and opened it, removing the bouquet and throwing it into the sink. You would dispose of it tomorrow. Next you opened the chest where you kept your swords, you decided that instead of sitting at home and crying, you would go to the mines and cry.

“I’ll be okay, Cal. I just need to get my frustrations out at the mines. I will be back in a few hours.” You pet his head and he panted in complete love at the attention you gave him. “I love you, buddy.” You leaned down and kissed his nose. Then you fastened the sword to your back and filled your backpack with a water bottle and some snacks. Your pickaxe hung from the backpack.

The walk to the mines was quick and by the time you reached the elevator, it was 9:00. You would have several hours to explore tonight before you had to be home. You were still pretty emotional, but the crying had stopped on the walk over. Entering the elevator, you went down to level 70. You had been working hard in the mines but hadn’t reached the bottom of the mines yet.

Just last week, you first encountered the skeletons. They took you off guard when you first saw them, but you quickly learned the best way to defeat them. You stepped out on level 70, taking out your pickaxe to begin the plight of smashing rocks and fighting odd creatures that dwelled in the mine.

****

Sebastian was feeling happy when he walked into Sam’s house, because he was so excited to talk to Y/n and admit his feelings. He was finally ready to take the next step and he hoped you were ready too. He was quite sure you were, but he was still nervous.

“Sebastian, good to see you. Thanks for the beer, you bought the good stuff.” Sam said while taking the case of beer from his best friend.

“You know I only provide the best for my friends.”

“Oh I do. We are grateful for it. Like really grateful. I think Abigail said she was able to score some weed when she was in the city last weekend with her dad. So more fun.” He set the beer on the coffee table.

“Really? Than this is a full out party, huh?”

“You bet. I mean we do have some celebrating to do, when you tell your girl you like her. So we have plenty of options.”

“We sure do. Oh I am nervous.” Sebastian said.

Sam turned to him. “Yo man, you have nothing to be nervous about. I already told you that she for sure likes you. Just calm down and let the night happen.”

“Okay, I will try.”

The door opened and in walked Penny followed by Abigail. “Look who I ran in to on the way over.” Abi said taking a pizza box from Penny.

“Perfect, I am dying for some pizza.” Sam then promptly took the box from Abi and opened it, grabbing a slice immediately.

“Oh Seb, you got the best beer! Yes, I always knew I could trust you.” Abigail hugged Sebastian and he hugged her back. Sam was watching the two of them with a strange smile on his face. Penny nudged his side and made him stop.

“You can trust him alright. Now did you bring the weed?” Sam motioned to Abi’s bag.

“I sure did. Let’s have some fun.” She opened the bag and dropped a pretty substantial amount of weed on the table. Penny looked away in embarrassment, not liking the idea of drinking and doing drugs but she came for Sam.

Abi set up the weed, while Sam passed a beer to everyone and opened the pizza boxes. Sebastian kept glancing to the door, waiting for you to come in but the later it got, he started to realize something wasn’t right.

“Dude, you haven’t touched your pizza. Why is that?” Sam was the first to notice how distant he was, and he wasn’t going to let him mope and ruin their night.

“I uh, have a lot on my mind.”

He suddenly looked like he understood. “Oh, then maybe you and Abi should go for a walk and talk. It’s the perfect time.”

Sebastian cocked his head. “Perfect time for what?”

“Dude, you know what I’m talking about. Do it now and you will feel better.”

“Do what?” Then it hit him. Sam was under the impression that the woman he had been talking about was Abigail. Suddenly it made all the sense in the world. “Sam you have it all wrong.” Now Sebastian needed to know where Y/n was. “Why is Y/n still not here?”

Sam laughed. “She overworked herself. Seriously, you are so thick headed. Abigail, Sebastian likes you and wants to be with you.”

Sebastian groaned and buried his head into his hands, while Abigail scowled at Sam. She knew about Sebastian liking the farmer, because she got it out of him a few months back. So of course she knew this wasn’t true. But also, Sebastian was the only one who knew Abigail fully, so of course Sam was putting the two of them together.

“Sam, you’re an idiot.” Abigail growled.

“What? Why?”

“Sebastian doesn’t like me you, dumbass. Not at all.”

“How? You’re the only girl I ever see him with. Wait, shit. Y/n. Fuck, you were talking about Y/n?” Sam slapped his forehead in complete frustration.

“Yes I was, Sam. Abigail and I are friends. You really thought I was talking about her?” Sebastian felt mad but he also needed to clear this up.

“Yes, I mean how could I not. You two are like the exact same!”

Penny was covering her mouth as she watched the exchange.

“Sam, fuck, I’m not straight. I didn’t tell you because I know you have a huge mouth that you can’t ever shut but Sebastian knows. So of course him and I would never work. We’re more like siblings than anything else.” Abi explained while Sam’s eyes went wide.

“Oh. I’m sorry Abigail. I didn’t mean to push. Shit, I am the biggest idiot.”

“You are.” Abi’s teeth were clenched.

“No, I am much worse. Y/n was here.” He clarified.

Sebastian looked up at the blonde. “Wait, she was actually here?”

Sam nodded solemnly. “She was and she was so happy until I said Sebastian was going to ask Abigail out. She went pale and she left quickly after that.”

“You really are a fucking idiot, Sam. She likes Sebastian and you just broke her heart by telling her he liked me. What the hell!” Abigail was pissed, because she didn’t want Y/n to hate her, and she also didn’t want Y/n to believe what Sam had said.

“Look, I’m sorry. How was I supposed to know. Sebastian never said a name and I didn’t think he was talking about her. You made the most sense in this situation.” He tried to defend himself, but Abi was already marching over to punch him. Sebastian grabbed her before she could.

“No, let’s not punch him. Just let him feel guilty. I’m going to go see if I can talk to her right now. Let’s hope she listens to me and that you haven’t completely messed it up for me.” Sebastian glared at Sam before he quickly left the house. He took the path beside Sam’s house, that led up to the stone walkway that would lead right to your farm. He was practically running.

When he arrived, he saw all of the lights out and cursed to himself. He knocked on the door but heard nothing. He knocked some more, before he decided to go to the back and see if you were home. His fear was confirmed when he saw nothing in the moonlight that spilled into your bedroom. You were not home.

He pulled his phone out and dialed your number. His heart dropped when he heard it ringing from inside. You left without your phone. He took a seat on the steps before a large German Shepard came from the fields and bounded up to him, whining for attention.

“Cal, where did she go?” Then he laughed at himself when he realized the dog wouldn’t be able to respond to him. Cal just rubbed his head against Sebastian leg before laying next to him on the porch. His only option was to sit and wait for you to come home from wherever you were. Given it was nearly 11 at night, so he knew you would be back soon enough.

****

It was a horrible idea to go to the mines when you were upset. Your focus was so off, and you made it easy for the mine creatures to attack you.

A skeleton quickly threw you back into the stone walls almost as soon as you entered the mine, the force had knocked the wind from you.

Later, a blue gray slime attacked, using it’s stun on you. Normally slimes were easy but this one was double the size of a normal slime. It took a lot to fend off the slime.

Then when you finally reached level 75, a cauldron of bats attacked, knocking your sword from your hands. You used the pickaxe to swat them away while you went for the sword. But several slammed into your head, digging their claws in. This caused a big gash below your left eye and another above your right eye near your hairline.

You called it a night after that and booked it to the elevator. Once you reached the surface, the weight of the events in the mine hit you head on as you felt the pain throughout your body.

It felt like the longest walk ever, going back to the farmhouse but you let out a breath when you saw it come into view. But your heart stopped when you saw a tall figure lying on your porch with your dog snuggled beside them.

You drew your sword and silently moved closer to them, not letting your guard down. They glanced up to see you and jumped up in complete surprise.

“Whoa Y/n, don’t stab me! It’s Sebastian!” He held his hands up in surrender.

You quickly dropped the sword to the ground. “What the hell are you doing here, it’s almost 1 am!” Cal jumped up and bounded over to you, happy you were home.

“Can we uh, talk inside?” He asked looking around in the darkness.

“Yeah.” You picked up the sword and ascended the steps before unlocking the door and flicking the lights on. Sebastian was behind you.

He shut the door behind you as you dropped the sword by the door to deal with later. “How long were you waiting?” You asked.

“Since 11.” His eyes went wide when he saw the cuts on your face. “What the hell happened?”

“Oh uh, the monsters won tonight.” Despite trying to play it off, you were thoroughly unsettled by how the night went. “Also, you waited outside for two hours?”

“I did. I really have to talk to you, but I need to clean up those injuries, they look bad.”

“It looks worse than it is.” This was a clear lie.

“No Y/n, baby, don’t do that. It’s okay to admit you’re not okay.” His voice was soft and calming now.

This was all it took before the tears were rushing out and you felt like collapsing to the floor. Sebastian saw this and caught you before you could fall. He picked you up and carried you toward the bedroom and bathroom. He sat you in the armchair by the bathroom door.

“Let me grab the first aide kit and a warm towel. I will clean you up and bandage what I can.” He said and you nodded before wiping the tears from your eyes. Sebastian was being so sweet to you.

He returned with the towel in hand. He bent down in front of you and started to gingerly clean up the cuts, you winced but let him do it. Once they were clean, he started bandage the ones on your face.

“Those monsters really got you, damn.” He whispered as he studied your face.

“Just a little.” You joked.

Sebastian stood up to put the towel in the hamper and the first aide kit back in the bathroom. “Just a little she says as I can literally see bruises forming all over her body.”

He was right. The soreness was becoming more apparent as the minutes ticked by. “Okay, so I fucked up.”

Seb shook his head. “No, you did not fuck up. I am going to blame Sam for this.”

You cocked your head. “Huh, why is Sam to blame for me going to the mines?”

“Because he told you I liked Abigail.” He said simply.

The ill feelings returned. “Oh that is nothing. I hope it went well for you two.”

“Well I don’t like her the way Sam assumed and she’s not into men, so that would not work.” He explained while helping you up from the chair. “Let’s get some comfortable clothes for you.”

You nodded. “Wait, so Sam was wrong about you liking her?”

“Completely wrong. She’s always strictly been a sister to me but for some reason Sam thought we were more.” Sebastian clenched his fists when he thought about it.

“Okay, then who was the girl you were talking about?” You had managed to find some pj’s in the dresser while Sebastian stayed next to you, to make sure you didn’t fall or get hurt again.

“Y/n, isn’t it obvious?”

“No.”

“Surely you know I like you, a lot. In fact, I was going to ask you out at Sam’s. Before he decided to open his mouth and make assumptions.”

“You were going to ask me out?” Those were the words that had stuck out to you.

“Yes, I was and I still am. Y/n, will you be my girlfriend? You’re the only woman whose ever made me feel so appreciate.” His words were so soft.

“Follow me.” You said taking his hand and leading him toward the kitchen. He looked confused until you picked up the bouquet from the sink. “I was going to ask you out as well. Someone told me that giving the one you like a bouquet was the best way to ask them out.”

Sebastian smiled and took the bouquet. “I accept.” He then pulled you close and sealed it all with a kiss. One that took your breath away.

“So this means I get to call you my boyfriend, right?” You had a smile on your face as you asked.

He looked just as happy. “Yes it does. I am completely yours baby.” Once again his lips found yours in a deep kiss that made you feel as though you were floating in the clouds.

“Can you stay the night?” You asked softly, not wanting him to leave just yet. Not so soon after admitting your feelings for each other.

“Of course I can. Someone has to be here to make sure you’re okay in the morning.” He teased.

“I will be fine.” But you actually weren’t so sure.

Sebastian took your hand in his and led you back to the bedroom. “I think you’re going to be very sore tomorrow.” He stated.

“You’re right. I will.” You grabbed the pj’s off the dresser. “Here I have some pj pants that will fit you.” You grabbed them and handed them to him.

“Thank you.”

“Always, boyfriend.” Seb’s cheeks went pink and it was the cutest thing.

“My girlfriend is so beautiful.” He said as you walked to the bathroom. You turned to give him a wink before disappearing into the small room.

**

You and Sebastian were curled up together on your bed, just listening to each other’s heartbeats. It was an extremely calming activity that you never knew you needed. It felt like this alone could heal you.

At some point, you both drifted off to sleep in each others arms. It was the sweetest thing. You felt that you had the best sleep in a long tome with Sebastian pressed up next to you.

When morning came, you heard the calming sound of rain hitting the roof. You lived for rainy days because it meant you didn’t have to spend a lot of time watering the crops. Today that would be useful because you were so sore after yesterday.

“How are you feeling today, baby?” Sebastian’s soft morning voice asked, while pushing some hair from your face.

You turned to look at him and smiled at how adorable he was. But his hair was wet. “You were right last night, I am very sore. Why is your hair wet?”

“I went out to feed the animals. I also made sure the crops were good. Cal assisted me and well, he got more water than I did.” Seb laughed and it made you feel blissfully happy.

“You fed my animals? That’s so sweet. Thank you, Sebby.” You leaned up to kiss him, but he met you halfway, so you wouldn’t have to do too much work.

“It was the least I could do. I will happily help you whenever you need it.”

“I’m so lucky to have you.” You honestly didn’t know how you got lucky enough to meet Sebastian, but you could probably thank your grandfather.

Sebastian looked as happy as you felt. “It’s the same for me.” He then buried his face into your neck, just holding you and enjoying the moment. This was how you spent the rest of the day. Cuddled up into each other, in bed.

**

A week later, you had healed enough to be okay with leaving the house. Sebastian wanted you to come to the Friday night saloon ritual, because he wanted to show you off and he also wanted to make Sam apologize for being a dumbass.

“You look beautiful.” Sebastian said as you locked the farmhouse doors.

You smiled and looked at your boyfriend. “You look pretty good yourself.”

“Pretty good, huh?” He quipped.

“Alright, you look so good to me.” You cracked a smile as he pulled you in for a kiss.

“Are you ready for this, because going to the saloon together means everyone will know we’re together.” He said as you both walked into town.

“I’m ready Sebastian. I don’t care what anyone else thinks. I like you and I’m extremely happy to call you mine.” You squeezed his hand as you said this.

“I’m also incredibly happy to call you mine. Let’s do this.” He looked happy about this.

The two of you walked up the path that led to the saloon. In no time, you reached the place and were walking up the stairs hand in hand. As you entered the saloon, you felt like everyone was watching you.

Robin was the first to notice and actually say something. “Sebby, does this mean what I think it does?” She asked as you both stopped in front of her and Demetrius.

“Yes, meet my girlfriend, Y/n.” Robin was ecstatic. She pulled you both into a hug. Demetrius just stood silently watching the two of you.

“What do you see in him, Y/n. He does nothing but play video games in his room all day.” Demetrius sneered.

Your blood boiled. “You clearly don’t know Sebastian at all. He has a job and that’s what he does in his room. I like him a lot and I will defend him. So if you have nothing nice to say about him or us, I suggest you leave it alone.” It was a wonder how you didn’t scream this.

Sebastian felt like he was falling deeper for you, after seeing you stand up for him like that. You had started to lead him away from there when he stopped you and kissed you right there, in front of everyone.

The two of you entered the arcade room together. Abigail and Sam were already there.

“Look, oh my god! It’s official!” Abigail cheered as Sam looked up from the Joja vending machine.

He looked toward us sheepishly, still feeling angry at himself for what happened last week. “Hi guys. I am glad to see things worked out.” He said to them.

“Yeah, no thanks to you.” Sebastian teased.

“I know. I’m sorry, I am the biggest idiot.”

You shook your head. “Hey Sam, please don’t blame yourself. It happened and we recovered. Let’s move on and forget the bad?”

“Sure, I can do that.” Sam seem relieved to know you weren’t mad at him.

“Damn, I knew there was a reason why I liked you.” Sebastian whispered into your ear, making you smile. Everything felt right and you couldn’t wait to see what the future held.

[neonponders]

I just wanted to write about Billy noticing Steve now has a tummy and coming to terms with being ludicrously in love/turned on by his boyfriend 🥺

Mild warning for body dysphoria?

• • • • • • •

Steve wore high waisted jeans. So it took a while for Billy to, um.

Notice.

Then he couldn’t stop noticing.

It kind of all crash landed into Billy’s brain at once: how long they’ve been together, that of course Steve’s lifestyle had changed, and whatever the hell “second puberty” was in your twenties -

Billy caught himself spiraling in a wave of justification. Justifying what? His surprise, maybe? Billy never before considered himself available to the notion of having a boyfriend with...a...

Okay it isn’t even that much. Like a week of salad, and Steve would be back to his lean, toned self. Maybe two weeks. But he isn’t even bigger, really.

Just softer.

Bigger only in the way men get as they wander towards thirty. Billy had noticed that much in himself. Finding a box of old pictures from Hawkins High and California lent to an afternoon of memory lane. Strange, how scrawny someone can be even with a layer of adolescent baby fat; even with how built Billy had made himself, and beat his peers with finishing their first puberty. Billy was still a kid in these photographs.

Now his bones are bigger, and his muscles sit differently on this skeleton than when he was seventeen and fighting the world.

It makes sense that Steve would be the same. Same swooshy, thick forest of hair. Same big ol’ eyes and pouty boy lips that he always offered up when Billy entered a room.

He kinda worshipped Billy - in a nontoxic, rational sort of way. In a, he’s still human and imperfect, sort of way.

So Billy just sort of sits back and observes for a while. He sees the defined indention of Steve’s waist because he isn’t a rectangle of muscle anymore. Billy sees the way Steve’s thighs fill out the tops of his jeans a little more than they used to. The way all of Steve’s sinew relaxes differently when he sits.

Billy’s still stuck on his own reputation. Which he doesn’t even have anymore because he and Steve have been going steady for literal years, live together, and holy shit this is what adults mean when you turn thirty but still have the brain of a nineteen year old - 

“You’re brooding again.”

The words take longer to land than the kiss on his forehead. Billy blinks up at Steve sitting on the couch, legs brushing Billy’s shoulder because he’s sitting on the floor with his back to the couch.

“I’m what?”

“Brooding. You frown when you think hard on stuff.”

“Since when do I brood?”

“Since ever,” Steve laughs softly. He draped an arm over Billy’s shoulders and wrapped it further around his head. He stroked between Billy’s brows. “You have a line here.”

On reflex, Billy counters, “No, I don’t.”

Steve releases him and leans back into the couch. “It comes and goes. It’s here today, though. You okay?”

Billy sure as hell doesn’t want to talk about whatever streets are paving themselves on his face. He gets up and doesn’t so much as tackle Steve into the couch, as he lands on his sternum with practiced experience. Steve’s body tilts, sending them horizontally across the couch while they adjust their legs accordingly.

“B?” Steve chirps, not letting this go until Billy gives him confirmation.

“Mmokay,” he muffled.

If brooding burns energy, then it would make sense that he passed out quickly on Steve’s body. Soft, through his well-worn shirt. Stable, because of the muscle and bones underneath.

It makes him more forgiving when Steve rouses him later to move to the bed. “You drool in your sleep,” he teases, though yanking the shirt off as Billy drops his shorts and boxers.

Billy swallows wetly, groggy eyes falling onto his new - or not so new - softness. Steve probably notices, because he entwines his arms behind Billy’s neck to draw him close, press their bodies flush, and kisses him.

Billy’s brain goes deliciously fuzzy. His penis kicks between Steve’s legs. Like, really salutes the body against him.

Steve controls the kiss. Tilts their heads to the other side. Soft, open mouthed pecks leaving Billy winded and keeping his eyes closed in between each one. Billy knows Steve is looking at him. Watching him. Billy blindly moves his hands around that waist and rubs up and down his back. Kisses the side of Steve’s mouth and follows the plain of his cheek to the ridge of his jaw. Plants a grove of kisses along Steve’s shoulder.

Steve’s body feels good. His cheek against Billy’s hair. His lips on Billy’s neck. His thighs around Billy’s hips as he pushes into that plush, hot home. He likes the way Steve grips his ass, spurring him further. He also likes Steve’s stamina, spooning his backside and lifting Billy’s thick thigh over his own prying Billy open.

Once Billy notices it, he can’t get enough.

And after too many double sessions and lazy energetic mornings together, Billy wraps his arms around Steve from behind and knits his brows together. “Where’d it go?”

Steve looks left and right, over their kitchen counters. “Where’d what go?”

“Your belly.”

“My what?”

“You heard me.”

Steve can’t help the bubbly laughs that come out of him, what with Billy’s hands wandering all over his torso. “Stop that! I told you Robin pressured me into going to her fitness place.”

“What?” Billy reared back without letting him go. “When?”

“When you were brooding,” Steve said pointedly. “Robin likes to exercise with a buddy. She’s all about these barre and aerobics classes... What are you doing?”

Billy picked the phone up off the wall. “Having a word with the lesbian.”

[90spumkin]

Have Yourself a Spooky Little Christmas

Summary: What the holidays are like with Spencer and your 5 year old son.

A/N: Well here it is. My first Christmas fic! I enjoyed writing this it made me all warm and happy. I don’t know who to give creds to for the pictures because I got it from google. Anyways I hope you all enjoy this, and message me if you would like to be added to my taglist or the taglist for a certain series just specify which one. Also this is kind of how i pictured Ronan while writing this. Let me know if any of the links throughout the fic are not working and I will fix them.

Pairing: dad!Spencer Reid x Fem! Reader

Warnings: lying to a child about Santa, the rest is just fluff 

Word Count:1942

It had been a long day at the office. Pile upon piles of paperwork were coming in trying to get everything settled before the holidays. I had just curled up on the couch with my son Ronan to watch a Christmas movie, when the door of the apartment flies open and in comes my husband weighed down by shopping bags.

I instantly untangle myself from my blanket to go help him. As I make my way to him as I quickly as I can my dorky husband starts on one of his rants before I can even get a hello out.

“Y/n you are not gonna believe all the Christmas stuff I just found at that little Christmas store down the street. I was gonna surprise you guys with getting home early. Well as you can see, I got distracted.” Spencer giggled at himself and I stood staring at my husband still trying to process that my Halloween obsessed husband was actually excited about Christmas.

Don’t get me wrong we have always celebrated Christmas the 8 years we’ve been together, but we have never really gotten into the festivities of the holidays. Spencer was bent over rummaging through the bags he had dropped on the floor. He stood up with what looked like sweaters clutched in each hand a goofy grin on his face, “Where’s Ronan? I got us all matching Christmas sweaters!”

“Asleep on the couch. Spencer honey why on earth-?” I was cut off by Spencer walking away and gently shaking our son awake. There was a loud screech and yelling of “Daddy! Daddy you’re home!”

Ronan attacked his father, wrapping his arms around his neck. Spencer picked him up and walked back over towards me. He showed Ronan the sweaters and our son just thought that they were the best thing ever by the look on his face.

I looked down at the bags at my feet which contained way more Christmas decorations we had room for. Spencer noticed me looking and said, “I thought we could visit my mom this weekend and decorate her room with what we don’t use here.”

I thought my heart was gonna explode. This man is so caring and loving and I swear looking at him holding our son and love evident on his face I knew I would continue to love this man for the rest of my life. I nodded and smiled, “Oh course honey, of course.”

Spencer’s grin only grew. He started to bounce Ronan who giggled in return, “Who’s ready to decorate?” Ronan squealed in his arms and shouted, “MEEEEE!”

Spencer put him down and they grabbed the bags Spencer had dropped on the floor and raced to the living room where they dumped the bags contents on the couch.

I walk in a little less as excited knowing we still haven’t put the Halloween decorations away, “Spencer honey are you forgetting something?” He looks at me questioningly and I only point at the skeleton standing in the corner and the fake pumpkins lining the fireplace mantle. He smiles and gives me a wink, “Oh those are staying.” This of course draws out even more excitement from the little boy at his side. They are so much alike with their mop of brown curls, love of learning, and love of all things spooky. I just take it all in at stride and decide to set the mood with some Christmas music.

30 minutes pass and we have our tree up and tinsel lining the kitchen island. I begin to hum with the song playing as I place ornaments on the tree. Spencer and Ronan are in the process of placing lights and a Santa hat on our lovely skeleton friend. Ronan begins to sing while he works and decides to change the lyrics, “Have yourself a spooky little Christmas.” This makes his father so happy and from then on out we no longer say Merry Christmas.

------

A week or so passed since we decorated the house. We have not had time to do any other holiday festivities. Of course, Ronan wasn’t missing out due to all the Christmas things he gets to do in school.

It was the first day of the two weeks we get off for the holidays and I made the decision to celebrate and spend time with my little family as much as I possibly could. About the time I had made this said decision, the apartment door flew open and was followed by the pitter patter of little feet and the laugh of my husband.

They came into the kitchen where I had been since they left to get breakfast. Ronan had a serious look on his face as he said, “Mommy, we need to leave right now!”

I was a little concerned, but one look at Spencer’s face told me all I needed to know. They had concocted a plan and it all started with this conversation with my favorite little boy.

“Oh, we do? And why is that honey?” I asked while trying not to let a smile slip and break my serious composer.

“If we don’t leave right now then we’ll miss Santa at the Christmas festival!”, he leans in and whispers the best he can, “If we miss Sant then Daddy will be grumpy and we don’t like him when he’s grumpy.”

Spencer of course still hears him, and snorts and I can’t hold back my smile any longer, “Oh we definitely don’t want that. Let me grab my coat.”

This brought a loud squeal from Ronan who launched himself into his father’s arm who also started to squeal in excitement.

Once we arrived at the festival my attention was locked on all the beautiful Christmas lights and decorations. There was breathy ‘wow’ to my right, and I looked to see the two most important people in my life staring at the lights and decorations with their eyes wide and mouths agape. They were both so mesmerized that I was able to catch the child like wonder on both their faces in a picture that I would cherish forever.

I had just enough time to put my phone away before Ronan snapped out of it and said, “Okay Mommy, Daddy. This is our game plan. First, we find hot chocolate. Second, find Santa.” He put his little hand in the air between us and we laid ours on top of his and as soon as he said “Break!” Spencer scooped him up and our little Christmas mission was ago.

We had managed to drink two cups of hot chocolate each by the time it was our turn with Santa. Ronan was so excited he could hardly stay still. When they told him, it was his turn he all but ran to sit in Santa’s lap. When Santa asked what he wanted for Christmas, Ronan thought for a moment and then leaned and whispered in his ear. Whatever he told Santa made him let out a gleeful ‘HO HO HO’.

Once we were a little ways away with Ronan holding mine and Spencer’s hands as we walked, he asked, “Would you guys like to know what I asked for?”

Spencer smiled down at him, “Only if you want to tell us buddy.”

“I asked for a little brother or little sister. I think I would be a good big brother.” He said with a huge smile. I looked at Spencer who was already looking at me. We smiled and said in unison, “You sure would.”.

We found a little café to have lunch and as we ate, I watched as Spencer and Ronan discussed where we would go next. I couldn’t help but to feel overwhelmed with love knowing my husband goes above and beyond for our son because he loves him so much, he wants him to have everything he didn’t as a child. And in return Ronan all but worshipped his father.

----

It’s Christmas Eve and our apartment is full of laughter and flying flour. Spencer and Ronan’s chestnut curls look as if they have frosted tips. I let out a laugh at how cute they are, “You guys are a mess!”

“Mommy your hair is white too!” Ronan and Spencer snorted at my shocked reaction. I hadn’t realized how much I had been hit in the crossfire.

“Okay that’s it I am never letting you two back in the kitchen.” I said with a pointed look. This just caused a whine from both the boys. I of course responded with throwing more flour at them both.

Cookies were finally in the oven and I was able to talk the boys into helping me clean up the kitchen. Ronan was bringing me the dishes to put in the dishwasher and he seemed to be deep in thought. Spencer noticed this also and paused in wiping off the counter to ask, “Hey bud, what’s on your mind?”

Ronan handed me the bowl he was holding and turned towards his dad, “How does Santa visit us? We don’t have a chin tea.”

Spencer’s face twisted in confusion and then his genius brain caught up, “Oh chimney. Well me and Santa go way back. We grew up together, and so I gave him a key so he could make sure you got all your presents.���

Ronan smiled really big and made the ‘come here’ motion with his finger. Spencer squatted down in front of him and Ronan place his hand on Spencer’s cheek and said, “You are a very good Daddy.”

Tear swelled in Spencer’s eyes and he wrapped our little boy in a hug. All I could do was clutch my heart and smile with tears in my eyes. They stayed like that a few minutes until the oven timer went of and Ronan detached himself from Spencer and yelled, “COOKIES!”

-----

Waking up slowly, stretching with the sun shining through the window onto your face. That’s the ideal way to wake up. But that is not how Spencer and I woke up on Christmas Day.

I was brought out of my blissful sleep by a tiny foot in my rib cage which was connected to a little boy screaming, “SANT CAME! SANTA CAME!”

Spencer and I both groaned, but Spencer was awake a lot faster than I was. He scooped Ronan up and started running to the living room screaming a long with the boy in his arms. I followed close behind wondering how they have so much energy so early in the morning.

Once we were all in the living room Spencer started giving Ronan his gifts one at a time. After opening every gift Ronan would say, “This is the best present ever!”. This of course made us giggle.

Seeing the joy all over Ronan’s face and all over Spencer’s as he watched our son was the best gift I could have ever asked for.

After a long day of opening and playing with gifts we all curled up on the couch to watch Ronan’s favorite Christmas movie, A Nightmare Before Christmas. Ronan was curled up in my lap with his head on Spencer’s lap. Spencer looked at me then at the boy in our laps. I looked over at him as he was running a hand through Ronan’s curls in a calming manner. He looked at me and said with a smile, “I would never want to spend a spooky little Christmas with anyone else.” He kissed my head and I curled up into his side pulling our son closer to us. I never wanted Christmas to be over.

*

*

*

Taglist: @criminalmindzjunkie​ @brooklynxnicole​ @hendersonsshadow​ @homoose​

[starlocked01]

Toddlers Scare the Living Shit Out of Me

AO3 Link

Dukexiety Week Day 4- Parents

WC: 3k

Summary: Virgil is very surprised when he's brought home by a fascinating stranger at the bar. A kid wasn't exactly what he agreed to in a one-night stand. Nor did he expect a relationship.

Content Warnings: Alcohol Use, Talk of divorce, Swearing, Mild gory language

@dukexietyweek

(also thank you @suchaswearemads for their OC Teddy 🧡)

Virgil was mildly aware that he might regret this if he lived until morning. His roommate would probably have a statistic at the ready about criminals luring victims away from clubs with whispered promises of sex or drugs, and how often they target gay men. Virgil snorted a laugh to himself. Poor Lo would kill him himself if he knew what Virgil was up to. This guy even looked the part of an unhinged surprise organ donation scheduler, all covered in spikes and tattoos of anatomical cross-sections all over his visible skin. If Virgil were any drunker, he'd probably mistake him for a skeleton or half dissected cadaver.

He really didn't care. He was drunk and Remus said pretty words that made him feel wanted. He'd follow the cadaver man halfway around the world like this. Exactly proving Logan right that he shouldn't go out drinking alone. He giggled and stumbled and giggled because he stumbled and the ground was spinning under his feet.

"What’s so funny, Dr. Gloom 'n' Giggles?" Remus caught Virgil and pulled him back upright, even as his brain fought to stay closer to the ground and made the whole damn world lurch in protest.

"Hey! 'M fine. Yourrr gonna kill me, bad man mad man. Fuuuuuuuck I had way too- didya spike 'e?" Virgil struggled to form a single, coherent sentence, feeling the alcohol's effects acutely and in increasing measure with each step towards doom and destruction.

Remus laughed, "ya caught me. Why don't I call you a taxi home?"

"Nooo! I sssaaid I'd come home withya- ssooo I am," Virgil shook his head and tried to stand and remain upright. His attempt lasted all of a second before Remus had to catch him again.

"Look, I don’t need you trying to puke all over my dick or something. I'm calling you a fucking cab," Remus tried to reason but Virgil heard none of it as he yanked himself away to hurl in the bushes.

"'M fine. Commmmming down," Virgil panted, trying desperately to steady himself. After several deep breaths and false starts, he managed to stay upright and reach for a steadying hand. Whatever had knocked him on his ass so quickly was also fading just as fast, "shiitt, did you spike my drink?"

"Nah, man. Come on, we're almost there."

---

Remus stared at this drunk little catch from the bar and was glad he was the one who'd picked him up. Someone must have tried something funny with his drink. Bad enough news for everyone else still at the club but at least this one was safe.

Remus shook his head and checked his phone to call a cab only to find the phone dead already. Shit. No way to warn Roman now. Remus waited for Virgil to finish puking his guts out on the neighbor's lawn, pretty dead set on getting this guy help as soon as they got home and he convinced Ro he needed a favor.

Slowly, he helped Virgil towards his front door, surprised at how fast the intoxication seemed to be turning around as Virgil got steadier on his own feet. Remus winced when he couldn’t find his keys and cursed when Virgil reached out and rang the doorbell.

"Stop! It's way too late for that!" Remus hissed as the door quickly opened to a very pissed-off looking Roman.

"Are you crazy! Pat's asleep- oh… oh who the fuck is this?" Roman asked, stepping outside and shutting the door behind him, "Remus, you promised tonight!"

"Ro, calm down. This is Virgil. Yes, I promised, but do you think you could take-"

"No!" Roman exclaimed furiously, "I have work tomorrow! I can't take Pat. Send Virgil home and be a grown-up for once!" Roman grumbled and turned abruptly back inside.

"Roman! Someone tried to spike him-" Remus hissed, pulling Virgil inside with him "-and before it hit, he was the best guy I've met in my life."

"Oh you mean just like Mr. Wonderful?" Roman snarked back in a low voice as he gathered his belongings. Remus winced at the reminder.

"Don't be a dick, brother dearest. That's my job. Please, I promise this time will be the last-"

"I can't! Teddy is already worried that I'm out this late. We love Patton but we're not raising him for you. You're not a kid anymore, Rem. Learn to date like an adult because we're not babysitting while you go out clubbing like this again," Roman huffed and stormed toward the door, "sorry to meet you like this, Virgil. I hope you feel better soon."

Virgil barely lifted his hand to wave as Roman left and shut the door with a dreadful finality. Remus slumped and sat at the foot of the couch Virgil had sprawled on.

"Sorry about him. How ya doing, Virgie?" Remus asked quietly.

Virgil groaned, "head hurts. Still tipsy. What the fuck did you do to my drink?"

"I didn't do anything but save you from whoever did," Remus shook his head and stood, "I'll get you some water. Or gatorade. Or milk. Fuck what do I even-"

Remus was suddenly cut off by clattering dishes and a small whimpering coming from the kitchen. In a few swift steps, he entered the kitchen and flicked on the lights to find a plate toppled from the counter to the floor, the fridge cracked open, and a toddler trying very hard to hide behind the trash can.

"Pattycake! What are you doing sneaking around in the dark?" Remus slapped on a grin and swooped the child into his arms with a grunt, "oh big boy. Getting too old to pick up like this."

Patton squeaked in his father's arms as he was lifted up, "got loud, Papa. Unkie Ro promised me a second cookie before bed."

"He did now?" Remus asked, eyebrows raised in mock shock.

"Mhmm. Said Unkie Teddy'd bring it. Where's Unkie Teddy?"

"Oh no! Ro was gonna call the cookie monster himself to get ya?" Remus gasped as he shifted his hold on the child and nudged the plate under the sink to take care of in the morning, "Uncle Ro promised you a cookie monster and didn't show up? That fiend!" Remus giggled with Patton as he grabbed a couple of water bottles from the fridge, shutting the door with his hip.

"Unkie Monsta!" Patton giggled, clinging to Remus’s neck.

"Mhmm. It's really late buddy. You should get back to bed," Remus cooed as he dropped one of the water bottles on Virgil’s chest.

"What the hell-?" Virgil tried to sit up, utterly confused who Remus was talking to now.

"Hey! You don't get to cuss in front of my kid until date five!" Remus snapped, holding Patton close. Virgil blinked at the baby blue eyes, curly blonde hair and the overwhelming amount of freckles as the child stared back at him with a mixture of fear and curiosity.

"Papa, who's that? He looks spiky," Patton whimpered, quickly hiding his face from Virgil.

"Baby, I'm spiky. I like spiky people," Remus carefully soothed, running a hand through soft curls, "he's one of Papa's new friends."

Virgil watched, unamused, "you didn't say that you have a kid. What, were you planning on bringing me back here with a toddler who could walk in and see anything?"

"Look, I was trying to ask my brother to babysit him overnight. You're hella cute but I didn't expect to make this introduction so quickly," Remus huffed, "Pattybear, be nice and say hi and then you best be headed back to bed, mister."

Patton peeked one eye out to appraise the stranger in his spot on the couch. After a long moment, he waved and barely audibly whispered a small, "hi."

Virgil smiled at the typical child response to his neon purple hair and uncountable piercings, but Remus laughed loudly, startling both the drunk man and the child, "oh Come on! That was weak shit, Pat-Pat. Say it like you mean it!"

"That's not necess-"

"HI!" the tiny voice bellowed over his protests. Father and son laughed together as Virgil sputtered.

"Now that's what I'm talking about, my little monster! Alright, enough fun. Back to bed, you rascal. Papa has to take care of the baby who drank too much apple juice," Remus beamed and set Patton down on the ground, waving as the child sped off back to his room.

"Cute kid. You didn’t mention a kid earlier," Virgil groaned and laid back down on the couch, head swimming.

"Yeah well, kids are chick magnets," Remus replied, not meeting Virgil’s eyes.

"Okay?"

"I'm into dudes…"

"And? It's not like a kid is gonna send good guys running," Virgil shrugged, very much regretting his choice of drinks that night.

"Yeah, you haven't run yet. But that was a very tired out and pacified little scamp you just met. You'll see in the morning- unless you wanted me to call you a cab now?" Remus asked with a raised eyebrow.

"I don't wanna move," Virgil murmured, "but I would like kissesss."

"Direct. I like it," Remus smirked and slid down to kneel next to the couch, "but that would be taking advantage of your weakened defenses. Sleep it off and ask me in the morning."

Virgil whined and pouted at the denial, "please? I came all this way."

"Well, if you insist," Remus grinned and leaned in close. Virgil smirked and pulled Remus forward that last inch. Virgil tried hard to enjoy the kiss but the fact of the not yet sleeping child in another room tempered his desires greatly. After a minute, Remus pulled back and grabbed a blanket off the back of the couch.

"To be continued, Dr. Love."

"Fine. Good night," Virgil sighed and watched Remus stand and leave the living room, leaving him alone with his thoughts.

---

Virgil awoke the next morning to a warm palm pressed against his cheek. He slowly blinked his eyes open to find bright blue eyes framed with thin black wire-rimmed glasses. Squinting out the light to protect himself from the impending headache, Virgil finally recognized the child from the night before.

"Hey, Patton-"

"Angels sing and demons cry, but we can't tell the difference," Patton stated sweetly, head tilted to one side.

"Hey Kiddo, breakfast time!" Remus called from the kitchen, "is Virgil up yet?"

Virgil felt a chill run down his spine as the child giggled, patted his face, and called back, "yes Papa! We're coming!"

Virgil groaned and sat up slowly, sore from sleeping on the couch with his piercings still in. How he'd managed to fall asleep in skinny jeans absolutely baffled him, almost as much as the peculiar little kid staring at him expectantly.

"What d'ya want, kid?"

"A kitty!"

"I don't have a kitty."

Patton’s eyes immediately brimmed with tears and his lip quivered before the child ran screaming back to the kitchen.

Virgil was sorely tempted to roll back over and hope he woke up somewhere quieter, but the smell of bacon and the temptation of seeing Remus in the daylight pushed him to his feet.

The guy he'd met in the bar had practically disappeared once Patton showed up. Remus had been flirty and suggestive and very interested in Virgil all night but nothing in his behavior would have ever led Virgil to suspect he had a kid and was capable of acting so.. fatherly. The man’s duality was almost unsettling.

Virgil walked over and stood in the door of the kitchen, silently watching Remus encouraging the weeping little boy to sit down and eat toast. He still wasn't sure why Patton had thought he would have a cat with him, but the disappointment had surely gotten to the little fella.

Remus looked up and gave Virgil a tired grin, "heya, sleeping beauty. How's your head?"

"Threatening to disown me. I didn’t touch him. He asked if I had a cat," Virgil nodded to Patton, hoping that Remus didn't think he'd purposefully hurt the kid.

"Oh don't worry. He asks everyone. His dad promised him one and well, do you see a litter box?" Remus rolled his eyes, standing and guiding Patton to the table, "you'd think after so many empty promises, the kid would know better, right?"

"Wait… you're his dad, right?" Virgil frowned.

"Nope!" Patton giggled, twirling his spoon between his fingers, "Dada lives in the big house!"

"Patton, eat your breakfast!" Remus barked, not unkindly before turning back to Virgil with a sigh, "no offense, but Patton’s dad is not exactly first date story material. Neither is Patton but well, that can't be helped now."

Virgil bit his lip, "right. None of my business… Except I shouldn't be here if you're married."

"I'm not married, sweetheart," Remus held up his hand to show off the lack of a ring.

"And this mystery father isn't… ya know," Virgil drew a finger across his throat in a wordless question.

"I fucking wish! Look, it's none of your damn business, Virgil. You want breakfast or the door?" Remus snapped, turning back to the food on the stove.

Virgil sighed and sat down next to Patton at the table, idly arranging shaped blocks in a haphazard pattern, "I'm sorry. I just don’t want to get in the middle of something complicated without knowing that's what's up. Yo, got another triangle for me, Pat?"

Patton grinned and grabbed a triangle from the table before shoving it somewhat painfully into Virgil’s palm. Remus watched the interaction and sighed overly dramatically.

"Hey, baby, why don't you go get dressed and pick out a movie?" Remus ruffled Patton’s hair, "no horror movies today though."

"Awwwww but I love the scary ones," Patton moped but obediently left the table.

Remus waited until Patton was out of sight before replying, "look, I don't have any secrets. I got nothing to hide. The only complicated thing right now is custody. My ex and I are separated and don't talk. Hell, I try to get him to pick Pattom up from Roman and Teddy's every chance I get. I love the little tyke but his dad pisses me off."

Virgil bit his lip, "that does not sound ideal."

Remus shook his head, "it's not. Like one day you're planning a wedding and processing an adoption, then before you know it you're divorced and fighting with the man you love for custody of the child he said made him sick to look at." Remus gritted his teeth, "Pat deserves so much better…"

Virgil nodded along with Remus’s story, "so why go out clubbing during your time with Patton? He doesn't need two absent fathers."

Remus chuckled, "don't freak out, but the first one of us who remarries has a huge advantage in getting full custody. Because neither of us is biologically related to Pat-Pat, it's become way too much of a battle.

"I'm sorry," Virgil whispered, studying the grain of the wood in the table.

"It's alright," Remus shrugged, "you're alright, Virge. Can I get that number now?"

Virgil laughed and took the offered phone, "yeah, call me when you've got some free time and Patton is with his dad."

Remus grinned and pocketed the phone, "oh you'll see how this works, sweetheart."

---

Patton was nearly a constant whenever Virgil met with Remus, but at least Roman had been mollified by Remus having a steady date so he and Teddy resumed babysitting during more adult dates. The Remus he'd met at the bar never quite resurfaced in the same way, sometimes the actual image of the tatted-up punk caring for a sweet little angelic-looking demon spawn of a kid took Virgil by surprise, and sometimes he was shocked with the things this man would say to his kid. Teddy constantly questioned Virgil why he had stayed even after learning more about the whole situation.

Virgil wasn't certain why. Patton had definitely tried to scare him off a few times. The kid was terrifying when he wanted to be.

But this little family was so very compelling, and Virgil was more and more certain with each date that he wanted a place in it.

"So, sugar…"

"Yeah, Rem?"

"I have a modest proposal for you-"

"Nope. Not gonna eat babies."

"Wha-?"

"Oh, shoot I thought for sure you were talking about the satirical essay. What's up, babe?" Virgil winced and turned to face Remus.

"How would you… like to start the process to become one of Patton’s legal guardians?"

"You're asking your boyfriend to adopt your kid who already has two dads?"

"Well yeah, because-"

"Because then the paperwork is ready to sign right after the wedding," Virgil interrupted with a grin, "you sneaky son of a biscuit!"

Remus laughed, "please, baby?"

"Not my call, sweetheart," Virgil smirked, "hey, Pattycake!"

Little feet pounded down the hallway, Patton skidding to a halt in the kitchen, "yeah? Prince Sparkles is in danger so this better be important!"

"You can save the Prince soon enough, kid. How would you feel-" Virgil suddenly felt very nervous as the gravity of the question finally hit him, "-how would you like… another dad?"

"Umm.. do I have to meet him?" Patton looked disappointed and confused.

"No, Pat-attack, Virgil is asking if he can be your dad too," Remus explained gently.

"You aren't already? I demand you be my dad this instant!" Patton bellowed at Virgil, pouting with the most betrayed expression he could muster.

Virgil laughed, "don't worry kid, this is just gonna be the paperwork that makes it official. You know I got you."

"Yay! New Dad! New Dad!" Patton beamed and ran around the table to dive into Virgil’s arms. Virgil caught him with a grunt and leaned into Remus.

"I think that's a yes from me," Virgil murmured

"Most excellent. Now I've got both my boys!" Remus grinned and wrapped both in a bear hug to seal the deal.

[serendipitous-magic]

Luke and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad 72 Hours

Imagine you’re a 19 year old working on a farm, and one day you buy some new animals from traveling merchants to help out around the farm - let’s say a goat and an ostrich. You’re cleaning them and getting them ready to work when you notice that the goat has a message tied around its neck. It sounds like the message might be intended for the kooky old guy who lives by himself out in the wilderness. You’ve met the guy a few times, you might even consider him a friend, but he’s mostly a mystery. You ask your uncle if he knows anything about it, but first he denies any knowledge and then he says the intended recipient of the message knew your dead father, and then he abruptly tells you to forget all about it.

Okay, weird???

That night, the goat runs away. The ostrich is freaking out about it. You go after it with the ostrich the next morning and find it making its way towards the old hermit’s house, but you’re attacked by a local gang and knocked tf out. When you wake up, the old hermit is there, and he takes you back to his place and drops the bomb on you that apparently your dead dad wasn’t who your family told you he was?? Apparently he wasn’t a navigator on a fishing boat, he was a pilot and a samurai warrior, and he was fucking murked by his samurai buddy??? And while that earth-shattering revelation is still fresh in your mind, Hermit Dude reads the rest of the Goat Message. Apparently it’s from a princess, and she’s asking Hermit Dude for help in a massive civil war that’s been going on. She says this goat is a Very Important Goat, and it’s carrying information that’s essential to the war effort that could restore prosperity to the entire world.

Hermit Dude then immediately sits back, looks you in the eye and without preamble says, “You’re going to have to learn how to be a samurai warrior if you’re gonna come with me to the big city and help this chick and save the war effort.” And you’re like “??? learn?? to be a samurai?? Big city?? What in the frick frack paddywack are you babbling about? Listen dude I got shit to do, I can’t just go off on this wild goat chase. But look, if it means so much to you I’ll give you a lift to the nearest town so you can go on your own.”

But on the way to town, you come across those traveling merchants you bought the goat and ostrich from - all dead, their caravan trashed. “This wasn’t the gang,” Hermit Dude says, “The government did this, and made it look like it was gang activity. They were looking for your Goat Message.” You race back home, only to find the smoldering remains of your farm, and the charred skeletons of your family laid out on the doorstep.

With nothing to do, nowhere else to call home, and a newfound revenge-driven fury in your chest, you return to Hermit Dude and say, “Make me a samurai like my apparently-murdered father, yo-yo master Hermit Dude. I’ll go help the war effort with you like the princess asked.”

So you all head off to this shady-ass small town run by crime lords. The government is already there, looking for the goat, and Hermit Dude hypnotizes these two military guys like it’s no big deal, sooooo apparently he can just do that? Okay, neat, neat, neat. Hermit Dude then chops somebody’s fucking arm off right in front of you in a bar fight (what the fuck), and long story short you end up selling your car so you can hitch a clandestine ride to the Big City in this fast-talking cowboy’s RV, which looks like it’s held together with spit and duct tape. Cowboy Guy’s best friend is this 7-foot-tall dude with so much hair and beard that he could probably hide weapons in it. The military arrives and you barely make it out of the parking garage, and you end up in a fucking car chase before you make it to the highway and get the hell outta dodge.

BUT THEN you finally arrive at the Big City, and it’s gone. There’s nothing there, just the ruined wasteland of nuclear rubble where the government dropped the bomb (which by the way was JUST invented). And as far as you know that’s??? Never happened before?? So, that’s terrifying. (Also keep in mind your home was razed and your family was brutally murdered like less than 24 hours ago so THAT’S still fresh.)

There’s one little government truck that sees you and takes off. Cowboy is like “Let’s shoot their tires out before they go report to somebody,” but there isn’t anybody around to report to. EXCEPT FOR THE CITY-SIZED BATTLE STATION ON WHEELS THAT ABDUCTS YOU, RV AND ALL. What the fuck is this? Since when did this exist??? They pull the RV into their parking garage, but you hide under the floor panels, surprise-attack some soldiers and steal their uniforms. You sneak into a control room, hoping to shut down the station’s power and escape, but while Hermit Dude goes to cut some power cords, you notice some records lying around. And, hey, what’s this? The princess that wrote the Goat Message? She’s here on Massive Battle Station? SCHEDULED TO BE EXECUTED??? Well, of course you can’t let that happen! Cowboy is grumpy about it but you manage to convince him.

Using your military disguises, you manage to find and save the princess from her cell, almost get crushed to death in a trash compactor while escaping from the prison section, and arrive back at the parking garage pursued by hordes of soldiers - only to witness Hermit Dude, your only remaining link to your home and your old life, get sliced in actual half right in front of you. 

There’s another one for Trauma Bingo!

(P.S. you’ve also now killed several government soldiers in your escape. You’ve now killed people. You’re a killer.)

You manage to escape in the Duct Tape RV with Cowboy, Beard, Princess, Ostrich and Goat, but you’re followed by some government cars. You climb up on the roof to engage in an at-speed shootout with them, because after the last 36 hours, this is the least weird thing you’ve done. Firefight with government forces? Yeah, sure, what the hell. No big deal, honestly.

So now not only are you family-less and homeless, but you’re DEFINITELY on some sort of government list of known criminals. Guess there’s no going back now; you’re part of the rebels whether you want to be or not! Thankfully you’ve still got that grief-driven justice quest going on, doubly compounded by witnessing the murder of your mentor.

The RV makes it to the secret base where the rebels have been hiding. The Very Important Goat is finally delivered, and it coughs up plans for the gigantic battle station. So far, so good. Except, curses! The government tracked you here! Looks like the fight happens now. Game on, jackass government. Game on. “That’s impossible!” cries one pilot, to which you reply, “Nah, I basically did it all the time back home.” You sign up to fight: a pilot, like your dead samurai dad. 

Why was a 19 year old civilian with some bush-plane experience (??) allowed to sign up to fly a fighter plane? We’ll never know.

Also, the goat comes on the plane with you.

Cowboy collects his payment and takes off, which you’re not happy about, but at least you’re reunited with your BFF from back home. So at least you have one single connection to home left.

Until he dies. RIP.

You try blowing up the Enormous Battle Station the normal way, but the disembodied spirit of Hermit Dude appears in your head and tells you to use your Magical Samurai Powers. You do, and succeed in blowing up the Big-Ass Battle Station just as Cowboy arrives again to take out the Big Baddie who killed Hermit Dude. The Traveling Nuke Factory is destroyed, the evil government has taken a big blow, and you get a shiny medal in a ceremony with your new friends.

So, let’s recap. In the last, oh, 2.5 days or so, you’ve gone from living your everyday life to seeing everything you know and love destroyed, to becoming a traitor to the evil government and a rebel, to fighting in (and winning) an intense military battle thanks to your fledgling Magic Powers, to now being the poster child of the rebellion.

You need therapy.

But at least the goat’s okay.

[falcor-thee-luck-dragon]

Klaus x Powered Reader

Summary: Reader is part of the umbrella academy but came when they were 12 due to parents needing help for them, ya know controlling powers and whatnot. They can shapeshift into any animal and their senses are heightened n such.

Warnings: bloody, fighting bad guys, bit of Klaus fluff

You know that moment in a movie where they freeze frame and then the character says something like “you’re probably wondering how I ended up in this situation.”

Yeah with Klaus you have those moments more times then you could count. In fact, if you had a dollar for every time Klaus has gotten you into a freeze frame moment. (And you’ve thought about this often.)

You could probably afford a real nice apartment with actual food in its fridge. Instead of living at the Academy with some apples and Klaus’ latest alcoholic beverage.

But alas, here you are in a back alley as Klaus’ bodyguard waiting for some Italian mafia members to come get their money that he owes them. Well that’s what you’re assuming but Klaus insists they’re just some moody tough guys. Okay sure.

You watch Klaus as he paces back and forth in front of you counting his cash for about the 50th time in the past 10 minutes.

Klaus stops abruptly and turns to you with a smile, “You know what I love about you, Y/N, every time I think things could get worse I look at your pretty face and I know you got me.”

Sighing in knowing annoyance you look up at him, “Are you short.”

Klaus snorts, “No actually I’m pretty long.” He says with wink.

You look up to the sky trying not to crack, you couldn’t give him the satisfaction even if it was funny, not the time or place. Especially considering his dumbass is short some cash he definitely owes very soon.

You look over to Klaus again and raise an eyebrow.

“Alright how much?”

He twiddles is fingers while avoiding your curious gaze. “Oh you know...a couple hundred or so.”

“So that’s why I’m here, emotional support my ass”, You say rolling your eyes a bit amused nonetheless.

Klaus may be an idiot but he’s funny and kind and you love him. Also you do enjoy beating up gangsters or whoever these thugs of the hour are.

Folding your arms while giving Klaus a smirk you tell him, “Well your friends better get their asses here cause when they do. I’m gonna knock their teeth in for making us wait in this shit ally. I’ve been suppressing the urge to vomit for 10 minutes.”

He nods in agreement, glad you’re not about to rip him a new one for his latest antics.

“Wait, does it really smell that bad, I mean the dumpster is at the other end of the ally.” He says in confusion.

You put your hands on your hips glancing at the dumpster and then focusing on Klaus.

“I’ve got the whole animal kingdom inside me Klaus, I know you can kinda smell that dumpster from here, but listen. For me it’s 1000x worse and let me tell you it doesn’t smell like a bath and body works around here.”

Klaus laughs scratching the back of his head, “Right, right, sorry.”

Suddenly a sketchy looking black car rolls into the ally, coming to a halt as three angry looking men walk out. Clearly hiding something within their coats, the “leader” it seems steps up and speaks.

“You betta have that 1,000 you owe us right fucking now you little theif, I don’t appreciate you takin’ my mother’s gold necklace, rest her soul.” He growls.

Klaus raises his hands up, “Listen buddy, you stole that from your own mother at her funeral...and let me tell you she’s not to happy about it.” He says looking to his left where you assume this guys dead mother is standing.

The bald guy behind him shakes his head and says, “So fuckin what? We needed that shit for other important purposes raccoon eyes.”

Klaus now lost as to where this situation is about to turn looks over at you clearly needing assistance. While mouthing “help me”.

Walking past him you hold your hands up showing you have nothing to hide, “Now that’s not very nice, a real shit personality, your mother would be very disappointed in how you’ve turned out. Cause let’s be honest it’s not like your looks are doing anything for you either.” You say snickering trying to see how they’ll react.

The first guy smirks reaching into his coat to pull out a nasty looking knife. “See this right here, I’m a good old fashioned man, I don’t believe in guns.”

You raise your eyebrows at him, “Oh well in that case we should all be quite relieved then.”

Looking behind him you notice as his two friends pull their own weapons out, which consists of a hammer and some type of meat hook.

“Klaus couldn’t have picked an easier bunch of idiots to fuck up then these psychos.” You thought.

The bald one begins to move brushing past the first guy looking like he’s seeing red.

“Jesus, man I didn’t mean to offend, I’m just making friendly conversation.” You muse.

Baldy begins to charge holding up his hammer ready to strike. “Come here you bitch, that’s my husband you’re talking to.”

He swings as you side step him, tripping him as he falls directly onto the concrete. Conveniently dropping the hammer in the process. Klaus being the ever troublesomely fantastic sidekick, picks up the hammer and throws it at you.

Gripping the hammer tightly, baldy rises from the ground faster then you’d expected mouth bloody and boiling with rage.

But in a hot second his bearded buddy in crime sprints towards you with his meat hook seemingly out of nowhere.

Klaus yells for you to watch out but you didn’t even need to look, this guys heart beat is louder then a firework and you’re faster then a viper, your senses on overload. As you turn around in record time to grab the guys right arm with the meat hook.

With your left hand tight around this guys beefy one you hold on and push his assault giving him more power. Effectively fulfilling your plan and leading the hook right into baldys chest. Who was fortunately running towards you.

A split second later with the hammer in your right hand you swing it forcefully into the guys shins. Hearing a sweet sickly crunch sound and the wild howls protruding from your assailants throat.

“Sorry I didn’t know you were married.”

“Fuck you!” He screams.

You look up hearing the sting of metal being swung in the wind, to see a knife heading straight for your throat.

With lighting reflexes you grab his wrist, the knife inches from your vulnerable skin.

Klaus gasps in the background terrified and relieved at not getting your throat slit.

You turn your fingernails to sharp cat-like claws that dig dangerously into his flesh, causing hot blood to drip out. The man drops the knife and grimaces in pain.

“I don’t know about you but I don’t think my boyfriend owes you three motherfuckers shit.” You growl, eyes beginning to glow an electric blue while the whites of your eyes shift to black, something that happens when you start to use your power.

“Fuck you, and fuck that thieving piece of junky shit crying in the corner.”

Your mood darkens, “Wrong answer.”

Letting go of his bloody wrist you grip his throat with your left hand lifting him off the ground. He begins to choke and struggles against your tight grasp.

“I know you’ve heard of me from other friends of yours, so listen very closely. If you touch Klaus again or anyone else around here who’s just trying to survive in this city. I won’t be so generous next time. Or maybe I should rip your fucking face off right now.” You squeeze tighter drawing blood.

“Y/N.”  Klaus says softly.

“Let’s go home.” He asks with pleading eyes and you snap back to reality smelling the iron scent of blood on your hands.

Sometimes you can get carried away feeling the rush of the hunt, a taxing side affect of your power, one you’ve always struggled to control.

Letting the man go he slumps to the ground coughing and sucking in straggled breaths.

“ Alright, me..me and the boys...won’t do nothing....you have my...my word....no bullshit nothing....I swear.”

“Good cause your friends are gonna need more then some stitches.”

You quickly leave the ally and start walking down the street towards the Academy.

Breathing heavily, you look up at Klaus who’s at your side as you start to feel a bit embarrassed that he saw you lose it a little.

He holds onto your arms stopping you, “Don’t worry, we’ll have a bath and watch some movies...hey you like that Museum one?”

“The Night at the Museum.” You say smiling still feeling off.

Klaus’ face lights up, “Yeah that one, with the big T-Rex skeleton and President Roosevelt on a horse.”

He links your arms together and you both begin walking again.

“Y/N, I’m not afraid of you, you know. I never have been, I actually find it pretty sexy of you to beat up bad guys for me and keep the neighborhood safe-er. Ben thinks so too, minus the sexy part of course. Only I get to enjoy that.”

You relax more into his side and once again start to feel a bit more at ease with yourself.

“Oh wait a second, here put these sunglasses on, your eyes are still playing mood rings with us. Don’t wanna freak out the civilians” He laughs.

“Thanks, I did wonder why that kid back there looked like he just saw a ghost.”

Klaus winks, “Maybe he did, cough cough..Ben...cough cough.”

“You’re an ass.” You say while rolling your eyes

“Yes indeed my love but remember I deal with the supernatural of all sorts, from ghosts to monsters, nothing phases me.” Klaus states proudly.

You laugh, “ Okay Van Helsing, this monster wants a bath with her hunter then.”

Klaus kisses your cheek, “That can be arranged my dear.”

Smiling up at him you hold him tighter and think to yourself how weird your life is, but you wouldn’t change it for anything.

- okay wow alright, first story ever I hope it’s good or at least some people like it. It was honestly fun to write ngl.

[floggingink]

OH HERE WE GO LADIES IT’S RIVERDALE, CHAPTER EIGHTY: “Purgatorio”

I’m tuning in to be VERY entertained on the grounds that I missed almost the entirety of S4 and will not understand anything

we open with an incredible analogue comparing the football team to the Army, as men do construct rituals: football players get blown into the sky, etc., in a heartrending mash-up of Archie’s innocence + the American ideal/expectations/pipeline of masculinity

Archie Company is decked out appropriately to storm Hürtgen Forest

that art direction trope where a character’s hearing goes EEEEEEEEEEEEEE after an explosion……...delightful

the Vixens and friends cheering him on from the sidelines as if Archie can only process his unprocessable present through the lens of his past………...hits the spot

distressingly wood-based rifles for our purposes

Archie > Dawson: I don’t mind telling you I felt emotion upon Archie hoisting his war buddy over his shoulders to that quadruple-toned “Chivalric Archie Using His Strength for Good” tune, like when he broke his whole hand busting Cheryl out of Sweetwater River

WHEN HE SAW HIRAM LODGE, I’M TELLING YOU! 

Hiram’s dragon-scale gloves? absolutely savory; he would

“Yonkers” is one of those New York place names I don’t totally buy is real (Poughkeepsie is another)

the sepia-toned light in this hospital room rings true judging by all the Captain America fanfiction I’ve read; I also like the mint-colored hand towels draped on Archie’s bedframe bought, one assumes, using the Department of Defense’s Kohl’s Cash

Archie made Sergeant, which is the best ranking for a fictional character: important enough that they can be a leader, get into trouble; low-profile enough that you don’t have to write them in the room making terrible decisions; probably won’t die immediately, as a Captain or Private might be

Fifth period is AP English: Archie reads A Farewell to Arms to Corporal Jackson, a WWI novel by Hemingway that Jug definitely turned him onto

Christ, Archie looks good in that on-leave jacket thing

I like Jackson’s subtle graph paper-print hospital gown

Gay?!: was Jackson in love with Archie? is he gonna bus to Riverdale once he’s off his pain meds? RAS, is that you in there?

God you know I love that haunted-ass Exorcist wooden bench bus light lighting

how long has the WW been relocated under Pop’s??? I do NOT know what happened to La Bonne Nuit

Sexy, aesthetic Southside: Fangs’ hair? his Tony Stark glasses? the girls’ “I’m a Slave 4 U” Burmese pythons? Toni’s headdress and immaculate glossed lip? 

Sixth period is Intro to Film: the only part of From Dusk till Dawn I’ve seen is Salma Hayek putting her toe in Quentin Tarantino’s mouth but judging from that I figure I’d like the rest 

The female gaze: Jesus Sweet Pea still looks good

Toni’s stage is flanked by twin pillars of melting candles and I would like someone to track those down for my bathroom

if they lay one hand on Pop Tate…

Betty appears to be, on her own, running the FBI training course. Betty is such a freak

Betty’s FBI-appointed psychologist is “Dr. Starling,” wears a great yellow blouse; Betty eats what appears to be a mini-sized Milky Way

her blond FBI trainer-boyfriend (uh) Glen appears to be an unholy fusion of Jimmi Simpson and that one actor with brown hair and really sharp light eyes whose acting credits I can’t think of right now, you know who I’m talking about (not the guy from Vampire Diaries)

I quite like her patterned blouse and I hate his yellow (gold?!) and blue tie

Please protect Betty: obviously we stan the Silence of the Lambs shit even as it remains infuriating Bryan Fuller couldn’t get his hands in it

Betty’s cat’s crying was so disturbingly baby-like that I had to leave the room once I realized it was in fact a cat

I’ve watched the Elisa Lam tape too many times in recent hours to handle this hallway shot

REALLY GROSS LICKING NOISES

the Trash Bag Killer coming at her was scary :(

Betty’s lovely blue knit cardi with the puffed sleeves!

50 Shades of Betty: clearing her throat before the doctor quite finishes her sentence—Lili Reinhart continues to be great at conveying “slightly perturbing subterranean tension”

was Charles a serial killer too??? oh damn!

Betty has been successfully holding off giving Glen a key to her place until now, an era that must come to a close

fellas, “Do I at least get a kiss?” is a bad move

Veronica was rich: Veronica’s new digs: exposed brick, bougiely avant-garde chandelier; possibly an elevator door right there behind the dude?

Veronica has married Hiram, to no one’s surprise

Chadwick looks like Jimmi Simpson and brunet Evan Peters plus a jaw

Veronica’s single-puffled-sleeved gown…..madamn (she has absolutely been taking secret birth control pills)

Summer + Blair = Veronica: of course Veronica would be great at Howard Ratner’s job; I MUST know what “specialty showcase haute couture offense” Vinnie has committed

T-Dubbs’ green jacket

Veronica pretended she was working at like, a department store? but she MISSED the EDGE post-day-trading

their apartment is so expensive that their bedroom is totally exposed

oh my god, Hermione

Best costume bit: please get me these satiny green high-waisted slacks?! and ugh her blouse has shoulder tassels……..she’s flourishing

“That’s threatening to an alpha like Chad.”

yes, they have a private elevator. fine.

Glen and Chad get their ties from the same Men’s Warehouse

“When that helicopter went down on the way to Martha’s Vineyard…”

you know kissing is 4-real when one person cups their hand to the back of the other person’s neck all close

I don’t understand the drop of the Glamergé egg but I appreciate that there is one and that Veronica is like, get this the fuck out of my house

Veronica’s shiny cropped tweed two-piece, Yvonne’s weird feathery coat that matches her bf’s shirt (you know she’s supposed to be “too much” because she’s got big hoop earrings)

God, Jughead is next and I’m not gonna be able to handle it

OH GOD IT’S SO MUCH WORSE THAN I THOUGHT

Alphabet City?! the piano?? the fucking East Coast Beat typewriter shit—the day robe? I’m—READING CLUBMASTERS? FORSYTHE???

OH GOD HE’S DATING ANOTHER WRITER (she has nice pants)

Jughead eats: “that place you like” is a HOT DOG STAND in the middle of SOME GRASS

I’ve seen Brick like thirty times: Jughead wears high-ankle light blue jeans, grey socks, and spectators that blend to create the illusion of wading boots. I’m going to commit a crime

Jughead doubts it: “So did Kerouac. And Hemingway. And Fitzgerald.” 

fuck yes I love Floundering Jughead, and his Pushy Agent who pronounces “career” like “Korea,” and the continuing tradition of Jughead getting kicked out of his house

I like Literary Grifter’s sweater

the Brat Pack, and most of the Rat Pack for that matter, were actors, but I assume RAS couldn’t resist the rhyme 

I was 100% afraid we were about to learn Cora was an uncomfortably-young undergrad

the musical cue as she reaches into her bag is absolutely as if she’s taking out a gun, and it might as well be! it’s the scariest thing in NYC: an unpublished manuscript

showrunners doing a classic I Love Lucy job partially concealing Vanessa Morgan’s pregnancy via medium close-ups, draping black clothes

Cheryl slowly turning to ask if doesn’t she look okay 10/10 icon

Cheryl’s pins: she has either a tiny spider or maybe a tick

Cheryl’s sheaths: the lacy red thing, amazing

why is Cheryl’s left hand gloved?

Cheryl’s a chaos angel from hell: Cheryl’s going to forge a Rembrandt, which unfortunately means she’s my favorite person on the planet (she does not look happy about doing this)

btw is Nana Rose an Immortal?

please tell me about Toni’s eyelashes

EXTREMELY HAUNTED DOLL?!

“Damn good coffee”: Archie’s earnest “Where are people gonna sit for the bus?” slayed me

fuck YEAH Ghoulies party house! terrible music but really good skull spray paint art

Jug looks LOW lol

Veronica’s blouse + buttons, impeccable

I’m writing a scene where it’s gay.: Tabitha/Squeaky

the hellscape semi’s red backlighting and its skeleton’s red eyes

I like Linette’s glossy bomber!

the trucker who’s about to kill her can’t also be the Trash Bag Killer….truckers have to stick to too much of a schedule….but he could be Betty’s meandering serial

I loved this episode

NEXT WEEK: Archie brings the FBI down on some people paying their rent :(