#also I tagged 10 people bc...I seriously know no one lmao

[babiebom]

Hi :3 Can I request???? Sabation (sdv) x pregnant fem wife reader headcanons

A/N: this is actually really cute and especially because I posted the how many kids I think they’ll have thing I can kinda go into detail for each kid. AHHHHHH one thing about me is that I’m a family oriented sim(person) and I LOVE kids. I know it’s a thing right now to hate kids but I don’t and a lot of my fics involve this and I’m ranting so I’ll end this note here lmao.

Tw:pregnancy, mentions of sex, mentions of pregnancy complications, cursing, lmk if I should tag anything else!!

Bc:probably at least 10

Stardew Valley Masterlist

So in my other post I said that he would have either one or how many his partner wants

So I’m gonna say three because I think that’s like the average amount of kids people have

The very first pregnancy Sebastian is absolutely out of his mine

“Don’t touch my wife” “be careful she’s pregnant” “she can’t have that it’s not good for her or the baby”

To be honest I think you being pregnant would cause him to be more outspoken

Like usually he doesn’t say anything unless he has to speak up because he’s sorta antisocial(I don’t think he’s shy, he’s quiet because he wants to be)

But now he’s always saying something to someone.

He is literally just out of his mind with worry and he has to keep you and the baby safe

STAY AWAY FROM MY WIFE❗️❗️❗️🗣️🗣️

If it’s a particularly hard pregnancy he’s even more protective

Like if your doctor says bedrest Sebastian is taking that SERIOUSLY

You are not getting out of that bed unless you have to piss or shit nothing else.

He is so lucky to have a stay at home job, and even if you take time off because of the pregnancy he can take care of the animals.

At the birth he probably passes out while seeing your child being born

But it’s not out of disgust, it’s because his emotions are out of control.

Cries at the hospital, probably more than you do are you have to be like….Seb please calm down I get you love the baby but you’re crying all over them…….

Second child he’s more calm but is still VERY strict with you

Also since you already have a kid, the dynamic has changed.

He completely takes over anything that you were in charge of parenting wise.

Won’t let you cook for anyone

And the only thing you would be allowed to do is stuff you can do in bed

The second birth goes more smoothly, and he actually stays awake through it and is able to watch your child be born

Third pregnancy he would probably be ramped up in worry especially if you have had complications before and this being your last child

Since this would be your third time going through this I think he would be sick with worry but confident that you could take care of yourself.

During the third birth he actually has the confidence to cut the umbilical cord and would probably be excited to do so

Would probably be hesitant to have sex while you’re pregnant

Like all three pregnancies he would be like ummmmmm I don’t know about that what if I hurt you?

Will have sex if you reassure him bc I do think he might have a bit of a breeding kink and would want to.

I think first and second labors were progressed by y’all fucking

Third you both didn’t need to because your body was like yup let’s get it over with

Overall a very helpful and anxious daddy

Actually tries to make sure your kids get along

And tries to make sure that his relationship with them is good.

[werepuppy-steve]

20 questions for writers

tagged by @devondespresso !!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

38! i've been trying to upload more tumblr ficlets, so hopefully it'll be double that by the end of the year!

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

69,777

3. What fandoms do you write for?

stranger things, currently! but i've also written for naruto, bnha, and a few others

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

starry eyed love

the magic that we'll feel is worth the lifetime

capital p

constant, pleasure

misty taste of moonshine

(not that im not grateful but these have been my top 5 for the past two years, can we give some love to my other fics please 😭)

5. Do you respond to comments?

yes! it takes me a little bit, but i will respond!

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

i dont think i have one? happy endings only in this house <3 but if i have to choose, strawberry wine probably has the most bittersweet ending

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

probably all of them lmao. like i said, happy endings only here.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

thankfully no!

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

i've only seriously started writing it last year, but yes! mainly pwp ft transmasc steve, but i hope i can get the courage/motivation to write longer stories that contain smut but aren't smut focused.

10. Do you write crossovers?

not currently

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

i don't think so? i hope people would let me know if someone did

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

yes! i think it was on my previous ao3, but i can't remember which language it was translated in. portuguese, i think?

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

no but i think it'd be fun!

14. What's your all-time favorite ship?

currently it's steddie, but if you ask me to go back to my roots, it's sasunaru

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you will?

all of them 😭 but i don't want to say that i'll never finish them. i might rework them into something different if the inspiration strikes me.

16. What are your writing strengths?

uuuuuhhhhhhhh. warm fuzzies? is that a correct answer?

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

the part where you actually write the story

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

english is my only language, so it'd be a little difficult

19. First fandom you wrote for?

naruto

20. Favorite fic you've written?

when i think of favorite, i automatically think of magic, but my second favorite is probably she put her love down soft and sweet, just bc it's my first big proper smut fic and i worked really hard on it. but really all my fics are my favorite bc i put so much love and time into them <3

idk how many people you're supposed to tag for this ajfhajfjjs

@flowercrowngods @corrodedbisexual @steves-strapcollection @steddie-island @steviewashere

@thefreakandthehair @steddieas-shegoes @hotluncheddie @sidekick-hero @cuoredimuschio

[cuephrase]

20 questions for writers

tysm for the tag @crows-murder!!

1. how many works do you have on AO3?

seven, but two of those are site skins

2. what's your total AO3 word count?

51,455, which is. so little. omg

3. what fandoms do you write for?

rn, exclusively batfam. i've also posted fic for bnha, and while i do think there's a solid chance i'll post more my hero fic in the future, idk when. i've also written for tmnt, voltron, and spn, but most of those never left my notebooks lmao

4. what are your top 5 fics by kudos?

penance - ghost!robins au where tim dies + meets ghost!jason, and metric tons of emotional devastation ensue. MCD tagged bc yk. tim wakes up dead.

adds up to less - my sole bnha fic, platonic bakudeku that spans from childhood to after their fight post-all might vs. afo, centered around the fact that izuku knows katsuki's mom is abusive

despite all his efforts - whumptober fill for solitary confinement, dami and dick!bats and pain

bile is sweeter - whumptober fill for safety net, dick & tim where tim gets seriously injured on patrol. ambiguous ending as a standalone, but also ended up becoming the prelude to penance.

i know (do you know?) - whumptober fill for delirium, jason & dick, jason & bruce, bruce & dick sick!fic where jason is sick and bruce and dick are at odds but trying not to be.

5. do you respond to comments?

yes!! i love responding to comments. i am really behind atm, bc 1) penance got way more attention than i expected and 2) the comments are so frickin kind and like i short-circuit.

planning on responding to some more tonight, i want to try and wrestle my inbox away from hitting a like critical mass point

6. what is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

hmmm. i think it depends, especially on how you interpret the end of 'bile is sweeter', but my gut instinct is 'despite all of his efforts'.

7. what's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

mmmm. none of them? jk jk, kind of. i think they're all bittersweet is the thing. maybe 'penance'? or ik(dyk)? actually no, it's def 'penance'. neither of them end super fluffy, (or fluffy at all? fuzzy at best), but like i personally think, as hard won as it is, 'penance' has a happy ending.

8. do you get hate on fics?

i have not yet!! shockingly.

9. do you write smut? If so, what kind?

cuephrase on ao3 does not have any smut posted

10. do you write crossovers?

no, at least not yet. i don't think i will?

11. have you ever had a fic stolen?

not that i know of 🤞

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

nope!! i don't think i've written anything popular enough to warrant a translation haha

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

not yet!! i think it would be super fun tho

14. What's your all-time favorite ship?

uh. hmm. i don't know if i have one?? ships rank pretty low on my overall interest, relationships that stick with me forever and a day are siblings lmao. but okay.

overall, like regardless of fandom it's probs a tie between kyo/tohru from fruits basket and kabakura/koyanagi from wotakoi.

rn my top ship is timkon, no contest. love those two very much. platonic or romantic i am sat.

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you will?

any of them? all of them? i have one fic with like actual words written, everything else is percolating in my mind. i have a decent track record of finishing stuff i start...but starting is difficult. i'm trying to work on that tho!! i really love writing and every time i sweet talk myself into it i'm like omg why don't we do this more often. baby cue would be horrified at how little i write.

16. What are your writing strengths?

making people cry. at the ripe-old age of 7 i decided the best writing was the kind that elicited a physical reaction, which to me was either tears or laughter and i don't think i'm funny. so bringing the pain it was.

and dialogue. i'm super picky about my dialogue and i act out convos + read exchanges out loud. i worry sometimes that i like have too many "blah blah bla-" type lines, but like when people are arguing, nobody is getting out full sentences lmao. there's a balance to it, for sure tho

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

setting/description. i have the worst White Room Syndrome ever i fear. like, okay, so writing for me typically feels like i'm watching something play out and just recording what i see, and uh what i see is usually characters interacting. sometimes they're interacting with their environment but ehhhhh. so i have to make a conscious effort to have my writing not be talking heads interspersed with chekhov's guns

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

i don't do it. too paranoid about it being wrong. i don't mind it when someone else does it, but if i was going to do it foreign language dialogue would probably be written like "<This is not English>." with a note at the beginning that dialogue in <> is X language.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

i was going to say tmnt, but then i remembered i wrote warrior cats fic way before i knew what fic was omg. stopppppp. i was like eight, i think? but like. consciously knew that i was writing fanfic? tmnt.

20. Favourite fic you've written?

hmmmm. this is probs a tie between 'penance' and 'ik(dyk)' rn, the former was just so much fun to write and the latter features robin!jason and dick bonding which i'm particularly fond of rn hehe this was sm fun!! no pressure tagging @androxys @librarylexicon @tevyaa, @coyote-nebula, @motleyfam and anyone else who sees this and wants to play!!

[a-small-writer-in-a-big-world]

I asked my friend to rate MW2 characters and tell me what their names are

DISCLAIMER: she has no clue what MW2 is or who any of the characters are (except for Ghost bc of me) so don’t take anything she says seriously it’s all for jokes and we were cracking UP

I wanted to put the screenshots but there were too many so I’m just copying what she said

Price

-Jim but goes by Jimmy

-“He looks like an asshole of father.”

-“It’s giving daddy issues”

- Said he looked like my dad but then looked at the picture better and took it back thank god

4/10

Ghost

-Ghost

-“That is a fine ass white man that has veins popping out his arms that I want to stick and bleed dry.” (She’s a nursing major)

10/10

Soap

- Shawn

- “He’s American Indiana trash. He only here cause it was is only way to see the world. He has two baby mamas, one black one white and they lowkey fight so they get more money out of him. But his kids(🩷💙) adore him.”

- “And his just there he don’t do shit”

3/10

Gaz

- Dante

- “He the communication guy in the group. He has a white girl named Megan back at home waiting for him to return home safe so they can start they family. This first serious mission with the cool guys.”

5/10

Alejandro

- Hunter

- “He is the captain douche, he constantly ask to see ghost 👀🫣unmasked. He has ✨fine✨ mamacita 💃at home in DR 🇩🇴waiting for him. He like to call people ese constantly.”

4/10

Rudy

-Matheus

-“ This is dad he the father of the group. He has to constantly remind the three masked ones just cause u in a mask don’t mean u can’t get ur asses handed to ya. He the voice of reason. This is his “last tour” so he can go back home to the suburbs to his wife of 10 years and their three little girls. He secretly wishes for a boy. Also he was in a frat in his youth”

7/10

König

- Reed

- “Oh this one know he 🥵 too. Him and Ghost def fuck the same girls at one 🇫🇷🧎🏽‍♀️. He has mommy issues and issues in general 🤷🏽‍♀️. He def wants only to be called Sir 🫡 in the bedroom. He lowkey clingy as hell.”

9/10

Graves

-Derek

- “This Detective Douche. He instigates things amongst the group. They always leave him out and he gets whiny about it. He was a cop before this. He does light drugs on the job and is an alcoholic that explains that horrid haircut and thin spots.”

- “He butt ugly.”

-1/10

Alex

- Gunner

- “He the wild child. But he also smart about it. If he wasn’t here he would be on jackass doing stupid shit. He constantly smells good. He also look likes the man thats for the big girls. He had Aussie herd dog at home in his one bedroom apartment. But his mum is watching the dog atm. He also Australian but came to the uk and got citizenship.”

8/10

Laswell

-Tilda Swinton

-“With Ellen’s hair.”

- “I don’t like how she’s looking at me.”

- “No comment.”

-2/10

Farah

- Iris

- “They kidnapped her.”

- “She didn’t join them willingly.”

-“She was the hostage turned army woman.”

2/10

Again don’t take any of this seriously she has no idea what these games are about lmao. Will not be tagging this it’s just for my followers lol

[memberment]

Good evening

Guys I just got home from work and proofread everything I needed to including this next Dandelion chapter and I'm trying so hard not to just fucking SOB over it.

I hate it here I want out LMFAOOOOOOO THIS IS SO SAD WHY DID I WRITE THIS FR

10:59 update......

I'm thinking about an absolutely diabolical twist for the Trin series(it doesn't actually change the story in any way, if anything it actually makes it make so much more sense). Like, I've been ruminating on it since last night but idk if it's gonna throw people off. But at the same time like part twos and threes never do as good anyways so do I really even care?? Like, I'm just out here telling stories in fanfic font bc I would rather throw myself in the street than make OCs and not share my fun little stories.

I think I may commit to it.

I don't wanna say it on here though bc it's one of those plot twists you get will not forget even though part three is like FOREVER out.

The more I think about it the more I wanna do it. Someone tell me I should do it.

Oh my god I am shutting up and finishing reading Dandelion, y'all will hear my virtual screams in approximately one and a half business hours.

(11:43) I'm actually fucking sobbing and I didn't even start the last few chapters. Like, I'm actually crying over this. It's not funny.

(12:00) Never by mag lo coming on while I'm finishing up reading this is not funny. I'm devastated. I hope you all hate me after this oh my god I feel like I just ruined my own life. WHY IS IT SO MUCH WORSE AFTER BEING DONE WITH THIS FIC FOR ALMOST TWO MONTHS. Jesus Christ. Yeah. No more angst from me for a long while. I'm banned.

(12:20) Me skimming through tags on fics debating if I want to pick up something new. Everything being totally normal. Suh happy. Trying not to stew in my own misery. And then I see such a vile tag my stomach twists and now I'm just like okay I'll go fuck myself I guess I'll go write or do my homework. I'm sorry, I adore ao3 and I'm never gonna be a hater, BUT SOME PEOPLE ARE WILD. LIKE I AM TALKING SO BAD I'M ACTUALLY CONSIDERING DOING MY HOMEWORK OVER THAT. LIKE I ACTUALLY JUST WIPED THE TEARS OFF MY FACE AND GOT OVER HOW SAD I WAS BECAUSE OF HOW GENUINELY SHOCKED I WAS. Like wow oh wow.

Anyways. Updates here if there's gonna be any. Also Dandelions up if anyones reading this LMAO

It's 1:40 in the morning and the beginning of Morning Glory is making me fucking unwell. I was not joking when I made that joke about like ten dreaded weeks of angst, Jesus Christ.

(2:12) This is my second time posting this exact part. Like I know I've posted this exact part. But I seriously love Christophe and all of his dialogue with my whole heart.

(4:31) I do not recall making Dova this tragic and I'm literally about to sob over him. LIKE WHY???? WHY DID I DO THAT??? WHY ARE HIS LITTLE SUBTLE BITS OF STORYLINE SO ACTUALLY PAINFUL AS THE STORY GOES ON????? (I am allergic to happiness I am my own canon event at this point)

(4:48) THE ABSOLUTE DEVASTATION THAT COMES WITH WANTING MORE STORY BUT IT SIMPLY NOT EXISTING BECAUSE YOU HAVE TO WRITE IT IS DEVASTATING.

(5:02) Welp. I'm ruined and am now compelled by god to start working on Morning Glory again. We're at 73k rn. And only two chapters that aren't the prologue are under 4k. That's fucking terrifying. Like I have 17 minus the prologue rn. WE ARE LITERALLY THREE CHAPTERS AWAY FROM THE FOURTH OF JULY. THERE ARE SUPPOSED TO BE ANOTHER 16/17 OF SUMMER ALONE. AND THERE ARE SUPPOSED TO BE AT LEAST ANOTHER 14 AFTER THAT. LIKE THE 14 ARE THE PLANNED SPECIFIC EVENT CHAPTERS. BRUH. WHY DID I DO THIS????

regret.

regret is all I feel.

but I will push through.

(7:38) before I go to bed I will just say I am at 75.3k. I had no idea how I would even get close to 4k on a birthday chapter where the group effectively decided to just stay home and hang out. But now there is like 1.5k of them playing muffin time. It's wild. I love it. GOOD NIGHT.

[d4isywhims]

sims tag game!!

i was tagged by these lovely people @seokolat @pxeltownie @mdmszee @moonriesims @magpiesims @oasivy @tbeanie-sims !! <3 lots of love to you!!

1. What’s your favourite sims death? death by vending machine just because that's the only "unique" sim death i've gotten so far lol (it happened to mawar btw but i immediately quit the game bc of obvious reasons)

2. Alpha CC or Maxis Match? i'm personally a maxis mix girl but i loveeeee looking at sims with alpha cc

3. Do you cheat when your sims gain weight? nope :)

4. Do you use move objects? yes. i would not be able to survive without it

5. Favorite mod? bed cuddle mod my beloved <3 no but in all seriousness, mccc and iu cheats are a gamechanger! i also love a bunch of adeepindigo's mods

6. First expansion/game/stuff pack you got? get to work ;)

7. Do you pronounce “live mode” like aLIVE or LIVing? live as in aLIVE :)

8. Who’s your favorite sim that you’ve made? aww just one? :( i have so many! priya, kohana, harlow, jae!!!, hunter and sooooooo much more. but if i have to choose one i'd say my favourite is probably harlow because i based her off of savannah smith and she is gorggggg (both savannah and harlow!)

9. Have you made a simself? yeap

10. What sim traits do you give yourself? foodie for sure, umm maybe creative and dog lover :D

11. Which is your favorite EA hair color? the ash brown swatch? the one hunter's hair colour is in

12. Favorite EA hair? i don't knowwww 😭 i mostly use cc hair yikes

13. Favorite life stage? young adult! i get to do so much :D

14. Are you a builder or are you in it for the gameplay? both i think? but if i had to pick a side, i'd say that i'm more of a gameplay person in ts4 :) i'm an avid builder in ts3 tho hehe i’ve always loved the building aspect of the sims and i loveee watching speed build vids on youtube

15. Are you a CC creator? i wish! but unfortunately i’m not :(

16. Do you have any simblr friends/a sim squad? i like to think we're all friends here so i'm going to say yes! i've met sooo many amazing simmers on here and i intend on making more :D

17. What’s your favorite game? (1, 2, 3, or 4) i’ll say ts3 just for the nostalgia :’) but ts4 is pretty good too minus the bugs lmao

18. Do you have any sims merch? do knockoff plumbob headbands count? :p

19. Do you have a YouTube for sims? i do actually lol my yt username is still d4isy-nukes but i currenty have no vids up.......YET

20. How has your “sim style” changed throughout your years of playing? when i first started playing the sims, i was obsessed with making the "perfect" sims with "perfect" lives and would aaalways cheat away negative moodlets or never give them "negative" traits ykwim? but now i just go with the flow at whatever the game throws at me lol it's much fun that way :D also it helps to not stress about the things in game too much, it takes the fun out of it :p

21. What’s your Origin ID? same as my tumblr name!

22. Who’s your favorite CC creator? oof i can't name just one 😭 @littlbowbub @oni28 are my go-tos for food cc! @simstrouble @johnnysimmer are also very cool! idk man i feel like if i list all my fav cc creators it would be never ending lol

23. How long have you had a simblr? ohh omg i think i made this account somewhere mid-2021? not sure tho but i've only started being active earlier this year :) and hopefully for the years to come!

24. How do you edit your pictures? i use photoshop! i don't do much besides adjusting the brightness, cropping the pics and run a few actions. if i'm feeling fancy i'll add a moodlet/thought bubble or text :) gshade basically carries my editing process atp lol

25. What expansion/game/stuff pack do you want next? give me hotels/resorts!!!! but ngl it's probably going to be buggy af tho lmao

25. What expansion/game/stuff pack is your favorite so far? cottage living AND seasons. i canot live without seasons

i know for a fact that a bunch of my moots have done this tag already so i'll be tagging whoever sees this lol

[shawcl]

Ok I must ask what is tsc or the aftg that you talk about.. with Neil and Jean and someone else I think .. I am so interested and I love the fanart and whenever you talk about it but I’m confused 😭😭 is it like an actual book series that publishes physically or only online?? Is it an original story or based of something else? Is it still ongoing or finished ??… I’ve seen quite a few people talk about so I was intrigued!!! Is aftg the first book or what the whole thing is called ?? Also where do you read it 😁 anyway as a long term shawcl fan I’m here for the ride and interested in your interests 🫡

omg anon u just made my day with this ask i'm not kidding i love being asked abt and talk abt all my brainworms!!! also can i just once again marvel over the power of fanartists, bc i feel u so much on this one, most of the fandoms i'm part of nowadays is thanks to pretty art <3 ALSO LONG TERM SHAWCL FAN i'm only rly comprehending this now i'm blushing bro stoppppp 😭😭😭💗

anyway where to even BEGIN omg. aftg stands for 'all for the game' which is a selfpublished book series by nora sakavic. the first book is called 'the foxhole court' and originally there've only been 3 books for almost 10 years UNTIL miss nora out of the blue announced a spinoff called 'the sunshine court' -> tsc and she released the first of 2 planned books in april! u must understand, that everyone understandably lost their marbles when she came out with those news, ESPECIALLY since it’s abt a ship no one ever thought would be canon. it’s like that one ship that never interacted in canon but everyone shipped anyway. the 2nd book was planned to be released later this year, but we don’t have any further info abt that yet. technically it’s all aftg, i like to tag tsc separately tho :D neil is our protagonist in the main trilogy and jean then gets the spotlight in tsc, but they’re all connected!!

these books are a little phenomenon, bc nora wrote and published these books without expecting even in the slightest that they'd blow up like this. rly it’s every author's dream lmao

as for what they’re abt, that’s a bit hard to summarize. i always like to tell ppl to jump into them blind bc that’s how u experience them the best lololol. u could say it’s abt a completely made up sport and an underdog college team made up of outcasts. but there’s also the japanese mafia. and a serial killer. the books are a fever dream rly and don’t make that much sense sometimes but it’s like a drug rly u can’t help but be addicted to them, just don’t take them to seriously lol

u can order the paperbacks on amazon or get them as ebooks, the first book is for free as far as i know and every other book is less than 1 dollar even, so u can’t do much wrong!!

this turned out so long omg i hope i could make things clearer for u, feel free to send more asks, i think it’s obvious how much i love talking abt this lol. also if u decide to read it………… give me updates pls <3

edit: also anon i forgot to mention, but if u need a list of trigger warnings u can hit me up, since the books also contain some pretty dark and fucked up shit! just a lil heads up

[skitskatdacat63]

okay, i don't know why, but i have ALWAYS been like you described. i have so many movies, TV shows, books, podcasts, songs, etc that i want to experience but do i? nope, just put on another F1 race, please. i don't know if it's fear of the unknown (hello, flood of unexpected emotions!) or not wanting to challenge myself or also wanting to watch F1 and F1 just wins out, but here we are. i suspect it's part of my OCD? or some other ND thing that hasn't been diagnosed in me yet??

in fact prolly the only reason i watch F1 is bc i watch it with my sister. it is a lot easier to do new stuff with someone else...which deludes me into believing that if i just got a partner, we could open the floodgates and watch everything i haven't seen together, but lord knows it don't work that way 😑 in any case, i don't know what's wrong with us, but you're not alone!

I'm glad I'm not the only one!! 💕💕

(Reply ramble under the cut cause I wrote more than I expected)

I think I just struggle to start anything new or to finish anything. I totally agree with what you said about it being the fear of unexpected emotions/the unknown! Like for race seasons for example, I just spent a significant amount of time immersed in 2005 which is a specific set of information(you know: rules, strategy, drivers, etc.), so to start a new season would be a completely different set of info. As I said in my earlier tags, some part of me likes the anticipation more and also I always get way too hyper about things and that energy is overwhelming 😓 And I also feel like I have a fear about how much time I'm going to spend(which is stupid because I'll spend like way too much time aimlessly scrolling for the same amnt of time it'd take to watch a race.) Like the idea of specifically putting aside two hours to do only one thing is stressful to me, which is why I often used to like watching races when I literally couldn't do anything else(waiting for a class.) But now I'm stuck back in the cycle of not wanting to start something new, even if 2009 isnt exactly new because I've watched a lot of racing at this point, but still new enough to me that it's hard to convince my brain to start it. Like once I get into the groove of things, I can float through and enjoy myself, it's just that beginning barrier that's hard to get through.

I also definitely agree with having to watch it with someone else. I either have to binge watch things super quickly or watch them with other people, if not, I'll just end up never starting it or abandoning it. I think it's because it's really nice to be able to discuss your thoughts and feelings abt it with another person and not just be stuck with a million thoughts bouncing around your head(which is why I tend to make posts and then rant in the tags LOL)

I think thats why ive been able to get into F1 to such an extent and why it's been so fun for me. It's a live experience(with a strict time constraint, i.e. you can only watch it right here, right now) where there's a bunch of people watching and interacting. I love tumblr during a race weekend so much, I don't think I'd be obsessed with it as much if not for the ability to see everyone's reactions and interact back with them. I think that's why I struggle to start old seasons, because it's literally just me obsessing alone in my room and I can't talk about it to the extent that I can with the current season. Watching F1 as it goes along in a current season is just a perfect experience I guess, because the schedule pushes me along and I don't really have to rely on myself to keep going.

But yeah who knows!! Brain just being brain as always I guess, but it is annoying that it prevents us from doing things we want to do! But I will say, still, its so stupid that I procrastinate over watching 10 minute long YouTube vids LMAO, like pls I get the hesitation with a 2 hour race, 2 hour movie or 100k fic but, 10 minutes, seriously brain???

[euphoricfilter]

I would never have guessed that you consider Smut as one of your weaker points, bc for me it was really good while I was reading it, means that once you are more confident about it, Babe you'll kill it.

YES blowjobs are better when you are reading them than seeing them, but for me it applies to majority of things in sex lol. The pegging HAHA sorry it's something I have seen its usual on pet play.

But after reading that I'm excited to see you experiment with those new themes you talk about. The request sounds interesting Lmao, take your time tho, wouldn't want you to stress because of it. Gonna be stalking your page until then.

Also the title is perfect haha <3

i’m gonna cry, thank you 😭

writing in itself is still relatively new for me so there are definitely areas i can improve on. i ‘started’ this blog at the end of january this year (i’d had it for a while i just never uploaded) with DTIK and i literally uploaded the first chapter like a week after i wrote it and that’s where it all started and my experience is like the last 10 months. i had written in the past when i was like 13-14 but it will never see the light of day, it was very much the unrealistic, mafia bangtan but i was convinced to write an empowered woman that didn’t need men, which they don’t, but my writing was so crusty i can’t read it now without giggling. i have 60 something drafts of wattpad 😭 of crusty old fics.

i think the first time i wrote smut was 4 months ago? maybe? it could be 5, i know i was still in china at the time because i remember i’d said i wanted to add smut to the last chapter of TBAH but then i was like yeah idk how to write this in part 9 and then an anon was like “i think it’s time they fucked” and i was like yeah you’re probably right. and i remember sitting there thinking what the hell am i supposed to say, this is kinda awkward and i was stupid and thought an ot7 fic would be a good place to start. writing smut for 8 people is so freaking hard so i had to split it up into subunits 😭 and then i started writing “smut” in DTIK but they haven’t actually had sex yet so it doesn’t really count and then helping hands came along + rope bunny and that basically all my experience so i’m happy i seem to be good at it 😭

my skin crawls when a bj post comes up on my twitter, i scroll past them so quick THE NOISE I ACTUALLY HATE IT 😭 it’s so much better when you read it 😭 i’ve read some out-there smut, and i think ‘wait that’s kinda hot’ and then i think logically in real life what that would be like and i want to cry because it would be foul

don’t be sorry about the pegging 😋, it’s actually not something i’ve thought about putting in a fic before but also it reminds me of that rumor that prince william is into pegging so i can’t take it seriously

IM SO CLOSE TO FINEIHINF THE REQUEST. i’ve edited to main part, and it’s like 50/50 it’ll come out tonight if i could just hurry up and write the sexy lil smut scene but also i have ptsd from wattpad smut so i always try to make sure it’s nothing like that and there’s a decent amount of detail to fuel the reader’s imagination 😋

i always think about, what if someone stalks my page because recently i went through a few of my old posts and it’s kinda crusty ngl, the other day someone liked a post i made months and months and months ago that literally only had the tag of the au so only people that followed me at the time could see it and i was like oh someone liked that but they would have had to have scrolled so far down, i don’t post a shit ton on here but they would have been so deep into my page i wanted to cry because i can’t remember half the stuff i post and there’s definitely some dark stuff crawling in the depths of this blog but that au was cute so i’m glad they liked it 😭

while we’re on the topic of my writing weaknesses, titles. i’m so shit at naming my fics it’s awful 😭 i changed “open” like 3 times before it became that name because i cant name my fics for shit it’s so bad 😭

[93sehyoon]

92 Questions in

Rules: tag 20 people (yo, I don’t even know 20 people lmao)

Thank you @kang-yoochanie and @jxnhees for tagging me <3 love u

THE LAST…

1.Drink: Orange juice

2.Phone call: my mother

3.Text message: “I’m heading round to yours” - a friend

4.Song you listened to: 21st Century by Bad Religion

5.Time you cried: ?? I think it was the 7th of June (my birthday)

6.Dated someone twice: lmao no

7.Been cheated on: nope

8.Kissed someone and regretted it: Probably??

9.Lost someone special: Not really, no

10.Been depressed: (^: ofc no t

11.Gotten drunk and thrown up: haha no

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS:

Red blue Purple??

15.Made new friends: Idk if I would consider them friends yet..??

16.Fallen out of love: nope

17.Laughed until you cried: Y E S

18.Found out someone was talking about you: Yuppo

19.Met someone who changed you: I don’t even know, I probably have

20.Found out who your true friends are: I guess?

21.Kissed someone on your Facebook list: My Facebook list? As in my friends on Facebook? Yes

GENERAL…

22.How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: I think there’s like 3 people I don’t know irl

23.Do you have any pets: No )):

24.Do you want to change your name: Nah, quite content with Alexander

25.What did you do for your last birthday: I cried (^: possibly the shittest day of the year.

26.What time did you wake up: 1am?? But I fell asleep at 6pm today and woke up & 8pm

27.What were you doing at midnight last night: sleeping 😌😌

28.Name something you cannot wait for: The summer holidays i guess?

29.When was the last time you saw your mother: an hour ago

30.What is one thing you wish you could change about your life: idk, a lot of things.

31.What are you listening to right now: nothing

32.Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: Does it count is his nickname was Tom?

33.Something that is getting on your nerves: currently? THE WEATHER.

34.Most visited website: Instagram? Or Tumblr ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

35.Elementary: Thats the same as Primary school, right?

36. High School: what am I even meant to say here??

37.College/university: Yikes my head hurts just thinking about it.

38.Hair color: Black

39.Long or short hair: I mean….it’s short but it’s long for me?? As in I desperately need a haircut (^:

40.Do you have a crush on someone: naah

41.What do you like about yourself: My eyelashes?? Lmao idk

42.Piercings: earzz

43.Blood type: no clue

44.Nickname: Xander or X

45.Relationship status: single

46.Zodiac sign: gemini

47.Pronouns: he/him

48.Favorite tv show: at the moment? Orphan Black

49.Tattoos: got none ):

50.Right or left hand: for what? (;

51.Surgery: (how is this even a question it’s just a word, I’m??) never had surgery before.

52.Piercings: e a r s

54.Sport: tbh my favourite sport is badminton

55.Vacation: don’t have any planned

57.Eating: I just finished eating a kit-Kat

58.Drinking: orange juice

59.I’m about to: watch RuPauls Drag Race

60.Listening to: nothiiinnng

61.Waiting for: My ass to figure out what I’m gonna do after high-school

62.Want: for these questions to be over tBFH

63.Get married: I’d rather not

64.Career: ((^: no I d e a

WHICH IS BETTER…

65.Hugs or kisses: kisses <33

66.Lips or eyes: eyes

67.Shorter or taller: shorter

68.Older or younger: I really don’t mind lmao

70.Nice arms or nice stomach: idk??

71.Sensitive or loud: ??what

72.Hook up or relationship: relationship I guess

73.Troublemaker or hesitant: hesitant

HAVE YOU EVER…

74.Kissed a stranger?: nope

75.Drank hard liquor?: nah

76.Lost glasses contact/lenses?: YES. So many times. (Yo this one time my contact lenses broke into 3 bits while in my eye fjdhdb)

77.Turned someone down?: yee

78.Sex on first date?: nope

79.Broken someone’s heart?: I hope not, lmao 80.Had your heart broken?: nope

81.Been arrested?: nah

82.Cried when someone died?: yee

83.Fallen for a friend?: nope

DO YOU BELIEVE IN…

84.Yourself?: sometimes

85.Miracles?: not really

86.Love at first sight?: nah

87.Santa Claus?: no

88.Kiss on the first date?: sure, why not

89.Angels?: nah

OTHER…

90.Current best friend’s name: Honestly don’t have a best friend lmao

91.Eye color: brown

92.Favorite movie: Last movie I watched was “Stand By Me” so let’s go with that

I tag: @wowjunhees @aceschan @nycyoochan @seywow @aceandchoices @kimsseyoons @skybolina @7ace @the95s @youngest-k

Xx

[monstersinthecosmos]

Anne Rice's books are filled with morally dubious concepts and toxic relationships, I thought everyone that is fan would be so because of that. But scrolling through the tag I find people claiming to be fans but only of the wholesome parts, which are almost nothing?? Anne Rice is not wholesome in the slightest. I don't know, it feels lonely. And also I see the TV show isn't willing to engage with the horror and complexity of these books neither, which, makes me see the vampire chronicles isn't really meant to be brought to this medium. I don't know why I am dumping this on you but I feel like you would understand somehow. Please ignore if not, I don't want to offend you.

Lmao I’m not offended, hello! I am, however, about to talk way too much bc I haven't changed in the years since I've haunted tunglr dot com so I apologize for that

TLDR: Be a freak, don't let anyone make you feel bad, I hope the show isn't too wholesome.

I’ve been in and out of this fandom for like, literally twenty years 👵🏻 so being completely honest I have always seen a wide range of fans on the spectrum of HAPPILY ENJOYING IN BLISS to ONLY INTERESTED IN CRITICISM and like that’s such a personal, subjective choice of whatever everyone finds fun in their free time. I’ve also, in twenty years, been on both ends of the spectrum, and I even fully swore AR off for a few years at one point bc I was so mad at her lol, but IM BACK BAYBEE and to me idk it’s not fun to take things so seriously all the time. That’s just me though!

I do think there’s been a huge shift in fandom culture (particularly on Tumblr) in the last 10 years or so that prioritizes moral critiques of canon; it’s not just VC, I see this in a lot of fandoms, and I think it’s been more amplified since the Adult Content Ban bc, surprise!, a lot of adults left the site lol. I think we’re living in a culture right now that’s very focused on respectability politics and there’s obviously a huge push in the mainstream to censor and control transgressive media (especially queer fiction), and it doesn’t surprise me that this has influenced younger fans because it’s a culture we are steeped in at all times, even when they try to identify as progressive. But don’t think that the broader wave of censorship right now isn’t connected to the way conservatives are beginning to skew the conversations in fandom spaces, too. Fandom is a microcosm of what’s happening outside! And there are all types of ideas and stigmas that we get inundated with in the world, without our consent, because it’s the space we all occupy. 

Having said all that LOL. All these types of fans exist and sometimes you have to just read the room and find your people. Some people’s enjoyment of the books is conditional, ie: cherrypicking what we liked about them and celebrating just those parts. Especially because I think so many of us read the books young and didn’t think too hard about it; we can agree that Anne’s writing was seductive and we were all probably baby queer weirdos who felt seen or w/e. And I think it’s normal that a lot of us have grown up and looked back at some of the stuff in the books like “oh yikes lol”

But everyone has different ways to navigate those feelings. I personally don’t have a problem compartmentalizing and just enjoying myself. I don’t take fiction morals very seriously and I enjoy the thought exercise of putting myself in imaginary dark places. Not everyone can flip that on and off and separate fiction from reality so easily, so ur milage may vary. I’m also someone who supports the idea of using fiction as a staging area for sexuality, and using fiction imo is a great way to play. Not everybody feels that way and for some people, the fun of playing in fandom is to play with the canon in a transformative way to see how to “fix” it or to rearrange it in a way that is less nauseating. I think there’s a culture in spaces like Tumblr to feel you need to repent for your fiction sins, and not everyone can sit with the guilt of accidentally enjoying amorality in fiction. And like I’m sure there are fans who read IWTV at 13 and Loustat is just so deeply embedded in them that they simply cannot exit the train at this point, and they're doing what they can with the scraps to ease that discomfort.

And I mean, good for them, if it helps them enjoy their time on this fucking germy ass planet!!!!!! That’s very fun, happy 4 u guys lol. 

There is also 1000000% Nothing Wrong with blissfully enjoying all the evil and trash. It is perfectly safe and extremely normal. You just need to find your people, and sometimes it is hard and it does feel lonely. I'm with you, though. I'm here to enjoy the evil bullshit and revel in it LOL. There's literally nothing in the series that is wholesome except for Mojo.

To be honest, I’m not into Loustat at all. And not in a morally superior way—they don’t really do it for me but also Lestat reminds me waaaaaaaay too much of my abuser and Louis reminds me way too much of myself when I was stuck in that relationship. It isn’t fun for me to engage with Loustat content because I tend to only see the manipulation and gaslighting when I look at it, and for me personally it’s juuuuuuust a bit too close to the reality I lived through.  I would argue that my OTP Armand/Daniel is the most toxic ship in VC but I was never kidnapped by a vampire or stalked across the globe while being literally addicted to his body fluid so yknow, that don’t bother me. =P But it’s 100% normal to look at canon toxic ships and play in the sandbox to either “fix” them or to like, take control of the narrative and allow yourself some catharsis by digging into it in a safe imaginary space. When I have the chance I like to mAkE thEM WORSE

So it’s been occurring to me when I see the enthusiasm of these fans for the show that perhaps they don’t particularly like canon to begin with? So changing it this drastically isn’t an issue to them? I’m sure everyone has their own reasons and I don’t want to generalize. On the issue of Claudia, for example: I think she is an intrinsic part of the plot and drives very profound feminist messages in the book, and I think her being a small child is absolutely essential to that story. I recognize that there are morally reprehensible moments in text regarding her and to me I’m like GOOD, IT’S SUPPOSED TO BE GROSS. It’s supposed to be gross!!!! It’s a horror novel!!!!!! And Anne Rice was a writer who wanted to always talk about the full spectrum of human emotion, including sexual emotion, so having sexual themes intertwined with the horror was completely on purpose! 

Then you see some people who ONLY see that it’s gross and can’t connect with the full scope of her story because it’s too uncomfortable. And like, you do you bestie! Curate that experience for yourself! Have boundaries and love yourself enough to stay safe!!! But I do think it’s wild the amount of complaints I’ve seen about Claudia, for example, which strike me as particularly ironic because it’s almost meta in the way they’ve embodied the entire reason her character is tragic. People infantilizing Claudia as a character, unable to engage with the topic of her at all, is exactly the reason she’s a tragedy in canon, because she can be as old as she wants and people will always see her as a child. D:

As far as the TV show goes lol. 

Being fair, I don’t think we know enough yet to know how evil & problematic they’re going to be. LMAO. I hope it’s like unhinged gaslighting abusive romance bc like, WHAT ARE YOU WASTING OUR TIME FOR IF NOT? But I always have found it funny when you see people who seem to otherwise hate everything problematic in VC somehow cape for Loustat as if it’s any different from the other ships. 😂  

My concerns at this moment are that the way they changed Claudia is a huge red flag to me about whether or not they will engage in the problematic elements, and I’m not thrilled that RJ says the rest of the books give you a better picture of Lestat than just IWTV, because I disagree. Like, hearing from his own voice definitely allows us to know his sense of humor and we can see he’s a bi disaster, but he’s already CHARMING in IWTV. Louis falls for his shit because he’s charming. So I don’t think we need to know that he considers himself faultless for him to have a fuller portrayal on the show. 

Like, I hope the show portrays them as being an abusive ship and shows all the nuance that it deserves, but RJ’s comments reminded me of the binary we see over and over in VC fandom about trying to get to the bottom about WHICH ONE OF THEM WAS LYING. (And it was Lestat, imo LOL he’s told on himself many many times.) So claiming IWTV is an incomplete portrayal of him makes me wonder if RJ comprehended that Lestat is a charming manipulator who abuses everyone in his life LOL. And ESPECIALLY with the time shift + age difference I think this puts them in a very different context. A Lestat who is turned in his 30s with a fully baked prefrontal cortex is going to have a very different temperament from canon Lestat, and even moreso when we understand he’s not a traumatized, freshly-bereaved fledgling anymore but like OVER A CENTURY OLD LMAO so like, he’s had time to calm down and gain some wisdom and that would have to make such a huge difference on the level of coercion. (That’s another red flag for me too is that RJ goes “no no we just changed a couple little things !” and the things he changed are like HUGE??????? So him saying that makes me skeptical again about the nuance of the abuse here.) 

I also have some concerns bc some of the show’s team has worked on other titles that were about toxic male antiheros and there are definitely moments in those shows where you can’t tell if the writers are aware of themselves. IE: Tony Soprano is a racist bad guy who kills people and cheats on his wife, and yet there are still occasional narratives on The Sopranos that show the creators also had some of those same biases, and you must wonder if some of Tony’s actions or behavior weren’t intended to be catalogued in the ways he’s very evil.

So looking at the way they’re speaking about Lestat’s characterization, that they’re referring to it as a romance, and some of the patterns in their other work I do have concerns about how the abuse will be portrayed. I also worry about how the abuse will play on screen now that there is an added racial element, and if it will be too cruel or edge into messages that feel too real and hurtful to the audience. And, to circle back lmao, I’m not uncomfortable with objectionable morals in my fiction, but, some nuance would be good. 

Don’t get me wrong like I hope the ship on the TV show is like ABUSIVE and SEXY and I hope Louis is like HORNY and TRAPPED because he knows he should leave but he CANNOT! And I want there to be some steamy frustrated hatesex! And huge fights and makeup sex! LOL. But yeah I mean, pretending that Loustat is wholesome is a complete joke, and I really really hope that the show doesn’t misunderstand Loustat to a point where they aren’t aware of what they’re really portraying. LET THE STORY BE ABUSIVE BUT PLEASE BE AWARE OF YOURSELF! 

(Anne could have used this advice too in the second half of the series LMAO whoops but I think having that nuance would ultimately make these stories even richer. HERE I AM COMPLAINING ABOUT CANON NONCOMPLIANCE EXCEPT MAKING AN EXTREMELY UNAWARE PORTRAYAL OF ABUSE IS COMPLETELY CANON, my bad.) 

And basically like. If it’s not going to be those things I’m just back to wondering why they wanted to adapt this book? So far the only thing in common with canon is like… New Orleans???? An interview of some type will take place? They have the same names? 

So it’s hard to hear the team talk about how respectful they are of the book when…. They’re not keeping anything from the book? LOL. What exactly did you see in this story that you wanted to express? I don’t get it. 😂 And I would hate for a book about morally dubious characters and abusive romances to be like, a campy vampire romance without any of those questions and themes. 

I’m not saying any of this to nitpick or be needlessly negative; I’m saying it to say it’s some of the things I’ve been wondering and some of the clues I’ve been looking for during the past year to see what exactly is going on with this show LOL. Again, I don’t think the trailer told us enough to know. I’ve been critical and looking for these things and genuinely don’t have a solid opinion yet because I haven’t gotten enough information. Lestat is certainly being extremely predatory and he looks unhinged as fuck so that’s a good sign LMAO. Louis even refers to it in the voiceover as being “hunted”, so it’s nice to know that he feels that way with 100 years of perspective. But we’ll have to wait and see! 

I think at this point I’m really hoping for like HANNIBAL LEVEL fuckery and like that type of unhinged gaslighting and manipulation LOL and I think Hannibal was about as far from canon as VCTV looks so far. I’m just doing my best to compartmentalize and be fair about the show while also acknowledging my extremely deep disappointment that we waited 5 years for WOLFKILLER STUFF AND NICKI only to be given an AU fanfic lol. And like, I give Hannibal a bit of a pass because by the time that show came out there had already been like 5 movies made of that franchise and they were mostly faithful so like at that point the idea had already been explored and it was time to remix. I don’t feel VC has ever gotten that shot yet so it’s sad that they went straight for a remix :( 

anyway sorry, I disappeared off tumblr for years but I apparently still answer anons with exceedingly meandering essays, I have no idea if this answered what you were asking but LOL YOLO ✌️

[telltalebatman]

tagged by @knifebun (follow him, he's cool)

Rules: Tag 10 people you want to get to know better.

Favourite colour(s): dark blue and blood red, probably

Favourite food: right now i'd say souvlaki, something about it just hits the spot every time

Song stuck in your head: zetsubou billy by maximum the hormone lmao, i've been listening to it during work recently and i have come to a realization that maximum the hormone in general fucking slaps.

Last thing you googled: "genshin foggy island" bc i forgot the name of that one island in inazuma with the fog and foreboding ambience

Time: uhhh 23:56

Dream trip: at this point? anywhere w/ penguins. i wanna hug a penguin.

Last book you read: do comics count? bc i reread utena recently.

Last book you enjoyed reading: aforementioned utena. it's a great manga, seriously.

Last book you hated reading: i hadn't rly read anything of notice recently, but last thing that comes to mind in terms of "i did not enjoy a single moment of it" would be american gods. my god, was that a disappointment.

Favourite thing to cook/bake: i'm recently experimenting with various asian-american recipes, and i grew quite fond of general tso's chicken. i like having 100000 different bottles and jars out and whisking up a sauce in a glass.

Most niche dislike: overwatch lava parkour creators that use wrecking ball in their maps.

Opinion on the circus: don't care if there aren't animals involved. if there /are/ animals involved - i'm gonna be concerned and/or upset, because i have heard quite a few horror stories regarding the treatment of animals in circuses. i don't like animals suffering needlessly, you see.

Do you have a sense of direction: no. leave it to me to get lost anywhere and everywhere, at any given moment. unless, of course, it's about the metaphorical sense of direction. in which case............ also no. life had successfully extinguished any and all will to direct my own life however i please i ever had.

tagging: @sunlian @darthimperius @menlet @brialavellan (no pressure tho)

[tanncrs]

hiii   !   i’m   niki   (   she   /   her   )   &   here’s   tate   !   ngl   i   spent   a   hot   minute   working   on   his   about   page   this   morn’   so   under   the   readmore   it’s   going   to   be   headcanons   /   bulletpoints   &   some   stats   .   i’ll   tag   all   my   pages   .   let’s   plot   ,   my   ims   are   always   open   for   angst   &   good   stuff   hehe   . 

[   jack   gilinsky   &      he/him   ]   -      tanner   "   tate   "   preston         is      a      twenty-three   year   old      senior      at      monterey      university   .      around      campus   ,   tate      is      usually      known      for   backwards   baseball   hats   &   calloused   hands   .      apparently   ,   he's   one   failure   away   from   getting   kicked   off   the   baseball   team      .      i      wonder      if      it's      true   .      if      i      had      to      choose      a      theme      song      for      him      it      would      be      fire   squad   by      j.cole   .   a      quote      from   tate      would   be      “   I   don't   make   sense   sometimes,   I   just   be   talking.   ”

biography   .   plots   .

stats .

name : tanner francis preston

nicknames : tate , preston , tony ( baseball team )

gender : cis male

pronouns : he / him

sexual orientation : heterosexual

age / dob : november 22, 1999 / twenty - three ( 23 )

astrological sign : scorpio

hometown : lawrenceville, ga , usa .

major : criminal justice

employment : server at harry’s bar & grill

headcanons . 

long story short tate comes from a big southern family ( they’re 6 kids ) that didn’t have enough money to pay for college . his dad is the town sheriff & his mom is a vet . he grew up on a little farm & has been playing baseball since forever . he had ( and still kinda has ) troublemaker tendencies but tried to clean it up due to his mom asking upon falling ill . whew .

tate is a criminal justice major half because it is one of the easier programs to get into and half bc he knew his dad would approve . no clue what he wants to do with it :/ . 

he is also a part of the baseball team ( the pitcher ) , the kid is pretty talented ngl but if he wants to make it to the mlb , he has to get more serious about it . it is also the only way he got into the school , through a scholarship . which means , if he’s off the team , he’s not going to stay in uni . 

he doesn’t have a lot of book smarts , almost embodies the dumb jock stereotype , but he’s not very involved in the #gainz life . although ( drugs tw ) he does partake in the whole performance enhancing drugs & recreational thing . 

i wanna say he keeps quite a lot to himself , like he’ll only tell people as much as he wants them to know . aside from southern baseball player , people gotta get to know him . 

he works as a server at the harry’s bar & grill to make ends meet because his parents are sure as hell not paying for his apartment or his substance consumption . he will 10/10 flirt for tips , gotta get that bread . will offer employee discount to his friends .

personality wise , he has great sense of humor and rarely takes anything personally ( or seriously for that matter ) . always down for a good laugh & bad decisions . will outdrink anyone , he has experience since he was 13 don’t try him . loyal mf as well , will stand up for those closest to him . not a big fan of rich ppl eek he’s a lil bitter don’t mind him . 

random facts . 

this boy has watched spongebob since the dawn of time and loves it still. 

loves horseback riding ( horse boy lmao ) , he was an instructor for awhile and sometimes still does . they have a couple back home . 

thinks / wants to be the main character . 

wears baseball caps like it’s no one’s business , esp the ones w random shit written on them . 

despite not being book smart , he reads and re-reads his childhood classics aka his mom’s favourite books such as the outsiders ...

knows how to clean well !!  cook .. still working on it . 

LOVES <3 eating . 

makes impulsive decisions bc he thinks it’s a great idea , not always but ... it’s the thought that counts . 

he’s familiar w legal loopholes bc he had ~experience~ & bc he’s SEEN his father . 

the preston family is messy . there’s always some drama / gossip going on tbh . latest family tea : they think the youngest preston is not from the same father . 

plots : roommates , tutor , cousins , +++ everything else !!

[areyougonnabe]

Fic Writer Questions!

tagged by @palamedessextus !!! thank u i love to procrastinate on writing by writing about writing

1) How many works do you have on AO3?

110 on my main account (+ 4 on my sneaky sock for Crimes™ lol)

2) What’s your total AO3 word count?

614,551 on my main account which is. hm. a lot

3) How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

obvi the main ones are the terror (50 fics) and good omens (35 fics). beyond that: TMA, the OA, doctor who, LOST, red dwarf, what we do in the shadows, the aubreyad, legends of tomorrow, banished, MCU, bbc ghosts, jeeves & wooster, russian doll, true detective, twin peaks, fleabag, & it's always sunny.

so technically 19, but wow a LOT of those are because i am a fiend for crossovers. (true detective x red dwarf... twin peaks x hannibal... the OA x lost.... russian doll x doctor who...) and many of the others were one-offs for yuletide. i'm pretty monofannish when it comes to writing!

4) What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

lol they're all going to be for good omens... let's see

1. "it's a new craze" - the podcast fic. imho this fic is the definition of "The Claw," a.k.a. the phenomenon that sees some fics plucked out from the fray to become super popular. i'm not denying that it's good! i still think it's pretty clever! but its popularity was probably as much a function of timing as of quality

2. "what a way to make a living" - the uber driver fic. honestly still pretty proud of this one, it flows well and is structurally interesting and genuinely very funny and the perfect length. i had a blast in good omens fandom writing comedic fic, this one

3. "dearly departed" - another one i'm still very happy with. my first ever finished multi-chapter fic & the story that proved to me i could sustain a plot and original characters and also that people would actually enjoy it. so a pretty big deal!

4. "blame it on my juice, baby!" - the fake love potion one. i wrote this fic while delirious with horrible fever cooped up in a tiny council flat airbnb bedroom in london. i think it's still pretty strong although since writing it i've developed a severe aversion to the "meddling friend engineers a get-together" trope in fic & so cringe a bit when i read it back, lmao

5. "greatest hits" - the one with the original songs! the songs are still good.... the fic is ehhhhhhh i guess.

5) Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

i don't respond to comments on most of my gomens fic anymore because 🤷‍♀️ but i do try to reply to everything i get on my terror fic/smaller fandom stories! my replies are usually very lame but i do like to take the time to thank people for reading.

6) What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

i usually don't write angsty endings because i'm a weenie BUT the one exception is probably my terror/TMA crossover which cannot be said to end well by any means lol

7) What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

dearly departed has a very lovely ending... i will also plug my OA fic heat rises which is GREAT and has a GREAT ending and nobody read it because nobody watched the OA. i'm fine it's fine

8) Do you write crossovers? If so what is the craziest one you’ve written?

as mentioned above, yes, compulsively... award for craziest simply has to go to It's Always Sunny In Another Dimension which is, yes, an IASIP x OA crossover. i apologize for nothing

9) Have you ever received hate on a fic?

not that i can recall, [bubbe voice] tenks gad!!!

10) Do you write smut? If so what kind?

i do i do.... when i first picked up fic writing again after college i thought smut would forever totally beyond me but after some very kind encouragement from friends i tried my hand at it & was off to the races.

i would not say i am an expert at it by any means but i have a lot of fun with it, & people seem to generally appreciate it, so i will keep going!

11) Have you ever had a fic stolen?

also no, phew

12) Have you ever had a fic translated?

yes, a bunch of my gomens fics have been translated into chinese and russian, which is so so super cool!

13) Have you ever co-written a fic before?

yuh, i had a few legendary cowrites in GO! the slow show metafic with cherry @fremulon and the shitscript crossover extravaganza with hallie @kalelraejepsen !!! both tremendously fun experiences

14) What’s your all time favorite ship?

that is a very tough one. if you go by my ao3 bookmarks it's aziraphale/crowley, which might be true still tbh... but i dunno. maybe ten/rose because that shit never leaves you.

15) What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

in terms of fic i already started posting, there's my one terror WIP with amnesiac tozer that i swear i WILL finish one day... and same goes for my good omens music & lyrics AU, which i fully expect to pick back up and finish off when i inevitably return to the fandom for series 2.

as far as stuff that never made it out of drafts, i started a hodgson-centric fic a few weeks ago that i got like 4k into before realizing i need to seriously refine my approach. so hopefully after exe fest i will get around to that!

16) What are your writing strengths?

well i am funny. so i've got that going for me. other than that ummmm i don't know. i don't think of myself as a particularly good or strong writer bc i really am just here for a laff. i think i can turn a phrase well and get the most out of imagery; i'm good at coming up with compelling story concepts and weird gimmicks, i guess?

17) What are your writing weaknesses?

i fundamentally don't know or understand how People Actually Act And Feel so i have a hard time getting realistic or interesting reactions and conflicts out of characters. my plots (when my stories have them at all) are very powered by external events, i wouldn't call myself a character-driven writer by any means. for the same reasons i struggle with voice and dialogue beyond superficial signposting via vocabulary/syntax. also, sustaining a long story/finding enough Stuff To Happen to fill it up/having the patience to keep writing... is something i need to work on for sure.

18) What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

i'm a lame american who only speaks english so honestly i don't really have thoughts!

19) What was the first fandom you wrote for?

i distinctly remember hand-writing in my notebook two or three pages worth of a story about what happened to the main precog in "minority report" after watching the movie when i was like seven. the first fandom i actually wrote fic for and posted it online was probably doctor who circa 2010 ish? but my warrior cats RP career predates that by a few years and i did a LOT of writing there. oh warriorsforest39 dot proboards dot com you are missed....

20) What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

SEX GHOST AU! SEX GHOST AU!

tagging folks :))) @laissezferre @titleleaf @theburialofstrawberries @girdedheraround @flanneryoconnorfanfiction @wreathedwith if u want!!

[bilbao-song]

tagged by @edge-of-17-seas-of-rhye (thank you!!)

Rules: Answer 21 questions and then tag 21 people you want to get to know better

Nickname: i don’t have one lmao my name is already short enough

Zodiac: aquarius

Height: 5’8″

Last movie I watched: i don’t remember tbh...i’m not much of a movie watcher

Last thing I googled: seapak coupons lol

Favorite musician: ELO (jeffrey!) (and many other things as well obviously but i have Priorities)

Song stuck in my head: i am blessed enough to not have a song stuck in my head currently

Other blogs: i don’t have any! just saved urls that i’m probably never going to use bc i refuse to change anything ever

Blogs following: 4,736 lmao

Amount of sleep: UM probably like...5.5 hours last night. not great

Lucky number: i feel like i don’t really have one

What I am wearing: short-ish denim skirt with a little brown belt and a shirt that looks sort of like this but not quite. also brown lace up sandals earlier but i took them off lol

Dream job: person who gets paid to attend concerts.....

Dream trip: arizona 🏜️

Favorite food: i’m not a picky eater at all so this is hard but maybe orange chicken?? or just any variation of shrimp and rice

Play an instrument: i can very half-assedly play a few songs on the piano but that’s all 💔

Languages: english and spanish :^)

Favorite songs: honestly i can never pick favorite songs sdghklshg there are too many...just last night i was listening to something and i was like “this is definitely one of my favorite songs!!” but now i can’t remember which one it was, so rip

Random fact: i won a $10 dunkin gift card today lmao

Describe yourself in aesthetic things: 70s anything with 60s and 80s elements too, orange, brown, yellow, desert landscapes, palm trees, ocean things, neon lights at night, malls in the 70s and 80s, libraries, overly elaborate beverages, late summer evenings but also the entire concept of fall, flowers in general, buildings that resemble this, lush green plants, vintage pizza hut......i could go on for decades

tagging (no pressure!): @rocknrollsoul76 @the-millionth-dream @buchimgay @ihideinmymusic @tolbachik @elictriclightorchestra @i-am-a-hog @josies-on-a-vacation-far-away @thegroovyarchives @zucchinigal @psi-groovin and anyone else who wants to :^) (seriously just say i tagged you!! i want to See)

[iampikachuhearmeroar]

yknow while this hellsite continues on the whole religion discussion thing, i’d like to jump in on it with my experience particularly with leaving catholic school.

like aside from my angsty pop-punk/emo etc teen phase (which’ll obvs be weaved into story later on) that led me to have different views from the church and aside from the whole sexism thing that i endured over my year 10 formal/junior prom in 2010 and 2011 from staff there….. i found it within myself incredibly hard to leave there… mostly because i’d known literally 1/3 of my year group at catholic school since kindy/kindergarten or some other point in primary school.

this affected my choice to leave and it was quite tumultuous inwardly. knowing the safety and predictably of the people i was with for all those years was a comfort to me. i knew their parents due to parent mixer bbqs that we’d have after mother’s day and father’s day liturgies- although i hated the mother’s day ones mostly, due to personal reasons. but to leave that comfortable place for overly loyal, kinda sorta shy (although everyone who knew me at that school wouldn’t’ve described me as shy bc i was a very loud show off because of drama class 😅) and by year 10, very lonely, highly socially anxious and depressed, teen me was terrifying. it meant losing her friends and stability and she obvs hated that thought. it meant leaving the one one place she ever felt good at something, drama class.

obviously, after she did leave for public school, she visited the catholic school on a few separate occasions, to try and keep the connection “alive” or whatever the fuck she wrote in a fake deep status on her fb (that i now get in my fb memories every year lmao). but it all ended pretty badly, when everyone from that school stopped talking to her once high school finished. no one invited her out. or if people did try to invite her out, like a couple of people did, it always fell through…. and it made her feel like she was just a bad luck charm or whatever other low self esteem talk she was telling herself. there was quite a few moody statuses around that too lmao.

but yeah. leaving catholic school was a massive thing for me back then, because even though i hadn’t gone to church on sunday for literal Y E A R S at that point; i still had a strong pull to that school because i’d known SO MANY kids at that school from primary/elementary/grade etc school, regardless of their year group level. because if there’s one thing catholic school was good at, it was networking 😂. you knew everyone, and everyone knew you. it was safe, it was sound, so i didn’t want to leave.

but once you leave, you lose your friends and what almost felt like an extended family (although they obvs weren’t). but at the same time, i’d grown to hate the safety and almost insularity of the school, because as i mentioned earlier, you felt like you could predict how people would react or behave in class/events etc.

i felt the above distinctly, because as i’ve mentioned plenty on here, from years 7-10 i was a very emotionally demonstrative kid. in some classes (mostly religion and PE when i was bothered to participate) i’d end up in shouting matches with the teacher or other students…. or y’know just have a casual meltdown in the middle of class, which many people saw as “attention seeking” behaviour. i felt watched, i felt ready to snap, and to quote the ever present All Time Low i felt like the bridge lyrics from “therapy” (which was/is quite obviously somewhat partially about the price of fame and hollywood imo- but that went over teen me’s head at the time lmao):

“arrogant boy, love yourself so no one has to, they’re better off without you (better off without you). arrogant boy, cause a scene like you’re supposed to, they’ll fall asleep without you; you’re lucky if your memory remains”

like yes. i’ll admit those bridge lyrics being applied to this time is rather overdramatic, in hindsight, but hey. that was teen me for ya lmao. and don’t even get me started on applying ATL’s song “sick little games” to this at the time as well 😂😅. anyway. from all the “lms and i’ll tell you what i like about you” trend statuses that people were doing back then on fb, i’d gained the tag of “cool/chill girl”, my crush rich boy, once called me “outrageous” because of how loud i was and how willing in years 7-9 to scream out stupid song lyrics like “i want to fuck dog in the ass” by blink 182, fight song by marilyn manson and then idek probably my humps by black eyed peas at the top my lungs through the very few halls that that school had 😂😅. i was being purposely and annoyingly offensive most of the time.

but eventually, once it came to things like one of the girls in my group wanting to run for vice school captain and the other girls in my group A L W A Y S being given leadership positions (LPs)….. while i always had to apparently “repent” my behaviour by being made (in theory from my teachers) to sit alone at lunch because of my “embarrassing” and “unseemly” behaviour at the so-called “training”/ “retreat” days we had for things like being peer support leaders for the new cohort of year 7s etc etc. i felt like everyone was just waiting for me to leave…. and that they couldn’t stand my “embarrassing” presence and that i’d ruin my friends chances of being selected as co-captain or whatever other bullshit LPs they wanted to run for. but still. i felt like i couldn’t leave. just. how do you leave a bunch of people that you’ve known for so long???

and even when my teachers were nice enough to give me a chance in a leadership position once; in that dastardly bullshit internet safety workshop thing that they should’ve literally just hired a professional workshop co. to do….. but to save money they used students in my year group instead. so, instead of being marked by my teachers on this program; i was marked by the catholic education office. they had a lady come in from the ceo to judge/mark us while presenting…… and this lady went off at teen me for “not being professional, responsible and respectful” or whatever the fuck the woman told 15/16yo me…. which teen me then fired back with “i don’t have to be fucking professional and responsible!!!! IM FUCKING 15!!!!”.. so from then on i was never given an LP or any other type of “peer support” role against my friends who were littered with offers for them. mind you, i did call a whole room of 14 year olds “a bunch of cunts” or the like and then stormed out thinking that i’d made a solid point, so the CEO woman had a good reason 😂😅….. again in hindsight.

of course there was also the bitterness of teen me being angry at the english dept for not giving her a spot in the top class of english in her half of the year. but as i’ve said previously on other posts, i’ve forgiven this because i did essentially fail one shakespeare in class assessment in year 8 or year 9 😂. but i strongly felt this during my time at catholic school bc my friends believed that i should’ve been in the top english class too lmao.

but aside from those troubles and foibles, i still found it incredibly hard to leave. to leave the perceived closeness of that group of girls, who would sometimes walk me down to the office and sit with me in “purple room” while i waited for the teacher that had to act as my therapist almost lmao. even though i always told my friends to leave me be and go back to class bc i felt bad about dragging them out of class for so long.

but yeah. with all the above behaviour, the song lyrics to me at the time made sense bc teen me just felt so pressured to fit into the whole “funny, cool, outrageous girl” bs box that people had put her in…. but at the same time she wanted to escape it bc she was just *flyleaf voice* SO SICK of being laughed at instead of laughed with (atl weightless reference here kids) just because… like she DESERVED to be taken seriously for fucks sake, and not a be a “monkey do funny dance” person… she obvs felt this the most in drama class. where in the shakespeare unit, she picked a medley of romeo and juliet and taming of the shrew monologues to do for her monologue. although she nearly did lady macbeth throwing herself off the tower, to be hella edgy…. but she opted not to do that in the end. but she picked serious pieces bc she was sick and tired of being classed as the one trick pony go-to funny person.

okay. this really went off topic. but y’all get the point??? the decision of leaving catholic school was a hell of a ride for little 14-16yo me. it was confusing, terrifying and tied up in years of being overly judged and feeling like people wanted me to leave bc they were sick of me. it was tied up in years of mid-class meltdowns that had become kind of routine for me to have, and that people were just brushing me off as “attention seeking”…. but also ironically waiting for me to snap at any second for another wild shouting match or walkout; which would then make me look like i was “unruly” or “untameable/unmanageable” or whatever the fuck….. but i couldn’t take that anymore, for the final senior years. i HAD to leave it.

again it was hard to leave for loyal little teen me, despite how lonely and isolated she felt. why leave your friends when you’re comfortable??? but also: why stay in this toxic environment where people are just waiting for you to either shut the fuck up and put up with it or just blow up and absolutely lose your shit??? that’s just unhealthy asf. and the only unruly thing that’s happening here is the complete lack of mental health help or management in the aussie education system; but most especially in religious schools.