#also LISTEN okay I like Taylor swift she’s easy to listen to and I have a celebrity crush on her

[maxgicalgirl]

I am exposing myself as a Swiftie I’m so sorry to betray your trust like this

[mydearesthrry]

sweet nothing - h.s.

a/n: TOTALLY LOST THE PLOT WHILE WRITING THIS. IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE BASED OFF OF THE PICTURE BELOW BUT I GOT DISTRACTED. pls listen to sweet nothing by taylor swift for the full experience!!!

🎀 warnings/cw: none, most tooth rotting fluff ever.

🐇 pairing: fem!reader x harry styles

💐 wc: 1.6k

summary: taking care of a very sleepy harry in an ice bath, and in the car.

“H, the bath is ready, bub.” Harry heard his girlfriend call quietly to him. He was slumped on the couch, this show particularly draining. He was quieter than usual, and instead of being glued to Y/N’s side like he usually was, he let one kiss to her full lips suffice before he decided to rest. 

“Mm, thank you, lovie. I’ll… I’ll be there in a second, jus’ don’t have the energy to go there right now.” His limbs were sore, almost every part of his body completely lost of energy, and he found it hard to even entertain the thought of getting up. 

“Okay… y’know what, just let me help you, H. The faster we get you into this bath, the faster we can go back to the hotel so you can sleep.” He knew she was right, and because he knew she was right, he allowed her to help (though not really at all since he already had felt bad that she ran the ice bath for him) him get to the bathroom. They walked slowly to the connected bathroom, Harry walking zombie-like in her arms. 

“Ready, sweet boy?” She tried to be as quiet as possible, the fact that Harry probably had a headache in the front of her mind. He nodded softly, stripping down to his boxers before letting her help him balance as he stepped into the bath. 

A wince immediately left him, Y/N whispering out ‘I’m sorry’s, knowing how shocking the bath was at first. She lowered herself with him, and sat on the floor next to the bucket when he sat down, submersing himself fully. 

“Okay bubs, y’know we’ve gotta do this so you don’t fall asleep on me. You ready?” Y/N says, pulling out her phone to pull up the trivia questions she’d pre written for the late night ice bath trivia that had become a tradition for them. Harry hums, and she flips to her notes to start. 

“Pick the category, my love. We’ve got pop culture, or the Marvel Cinematic Universe.” She asked, looking up at him, heart breaking a little at the exhausted expression that was obvious on his face. 

“Marvel.” He mumbles, sinking himself lower until his neck up was the only part of his body above water. 

“Okay… Timer officially starts now. Who played the character Pietro Maximoff, also known as Quicksilver?” Her tone was soft, almost at a whisper. 

“Umm… Aaron Taylor Johnson?” Harry questioned, racking his brain to try his hardest to stay awake. His body had now gotten used to the stark cold that he’d slowly started to get used to over the times he’s done this on tour. 

“Good job, baby. What was the name of Peter Parker’s love interest in Spider-Man: Homecoming? This one should be easy, it’s one of my favorite movies.” She giggled, a serene sense of peace overcoming her at the domesticity of it all. 

“It is easy, she’s called Liz, right? Liz Allan, or something.” His eyes were now closed, feeling the tension in his body slowly disintegrate from the cold of the water. 

“Perfect! Though the both of us know that Peter and MJ were the better couple, they were entirely more in love and cuter.” She smiled. 

“Oh, really? Like us then, hm?” Harry hummed. 

“Yes, H, exactly like us.” A few more questions had passed, and Lloyd had now come to join them in the bathroom, his camera hung around his neck. They’d anticipated him coming anyway, knowing that he would come to snap some behind the scenes pictures. Before they’d even left to go to his dressing room, they’d told Lloyd when to come in so that he could come talk to them. 

“Hey guys, sorry for intruding, but I need one of you to pick a few pictures for tonight so I can get them edited by tomorrow.” Lloyd tried to keep his voice quiet too, knowing the kind of atmosphere he was entering before he even came to meet the two in the bathroom. 

“Oh yeah, of course, did you want some pictures too?” Harry smiled, a tired but polite look on his face. Harry had built a great relationship with Lloyd over the months that they’ve been on tour, and they’d gotten more comfortable with each other than they’d anticipated. 

“Only if you’re comfortable, H.” Lloyd smiled. Y/N and Lloyd talked for a second, scrolling through pictures and picking out a few for him to edit. The time they took allowed Harry to rest in the cold for a little, before pushing himself up and folding over, dipping his head into the ice cold water. He could faintly hear Lloyd’s footsteps move to the front of the tub, along with the flicking of the camera shutter going off as he lifted his head out of the tub, ringing out his hair from the nape of his neck to the front of his scalp. 

A couple more flutters from the camera shutters were heard when Harry was rubbing his eyes with the pruny tips of his fingers, and he failed to see the smile on Lloyd’s face. 

Lloyd pulled the camera from his eyes, looking at the digital screen that held a preview of the picture. In the corner, slightly blurred because of the harsh focus that was set on Harry in the center, say Y/N with a soft smile playing on her lips, a moony gaze in her eyes. He made a mental note to send it to them later, and to also crop her out in the final edit in an attempt to salvage their private relationship. 

“Perfect. I’ll let you two rest now, think I’m gonna head to the hotel now myself. Sleep well, you guys, I’ll send you the pictures in the morning.” Lloyd smiles at them, sharing goodnights before closing the door behind him as he walked out. 

Harry’s now damp hair was combed back by his fingers and rested on the top of his head, save for the rogue curl that shriveled in a tiny curl on his forehead. Y/N rested her arms on the side of the tub, a gleam in her eyes as she watched Harry’s relaxed expression. Her timer, however, had different plans for the relaxed couple, and went off with shrill screams, notifying them that it was now time for Harry to leave the bath. 

“Alright sweet boy, time to go.” She tapped on her screen to stop the ringing, standing up to grab his black and white striped towel. She met him in the middle, her boyfriend already standing on the towel that laid outside of the tub, water droplets falling from his body in a soft cascade, small shivers shaking his shoulders slightly. Wrapping the towel around his shoulders, she pushes herself up onto her tiptoes to meet the level of his face, pecking soft kisses onto his cold lips. They stayed in that position for a bit, waiting for Harry’s skin to absorb the rest of the small water droplets. 

She led him with a soft tug to the main space in the dressing room, taking the outfit she’d gotten ready for him while he was on stage from the makeup chair and placed it onto the couch. Leaning down a bit, she took the towel to let him remove his now soaked briefs, before passing him a pair of boxers, tossing his towel onto the back of the couch. She passed him his clothes as he dressed himself slowly, humming at the words of love and admiration he sleepily spewed out. Once he got his last article of clothing on, she took his hoodie strings into her hands and tugged it down softly, making him lean down a bit to meet her lips. 

Their lips connected in a soft caress, his bottom lip wedges in between her two lips, a sweet hum emitting from his throat from the taste of her coconut flavored chapstick, one that was his favorite. Something that could only be described as love seemed to fill the room whenever they had these kinds of moments. Moments that was completely and purely their own. 

They broke away from the kiss, and when Harry went to say something, a yawn cut him off, mouth opening wide making him resemble something of a lion, making a giggle fall from her slightly swollen lips. “Let’s get you into a bed, sleepy boy.” 

“M’kay.” Harry didn’t put up a fight, wanting to get into bed with her to snuggle more than anything. 

They walked through the halls of the venue, pushing through the back door where their driver was already waiting for them, engine started and purring softly. Y/N opens the back car door, stepping in and moving to the side since she knew Harry would follow her. The driver muttered that it would take them about 5 to 10 minutes to get to the hotel before taking off without another word. 

Y/N snapped her seatbelt on, a confused twinge on her face when she didn’t see Harry do the same. Instead, he scooted over to the middle seat, laying into her sleepily. “H, you gotta put on your seatbelt.” 

“Noooo, s’not even that far, and I jus’ wan’ y’to hold me right now.” He mumbled, slightly muffled from the way he burrowed his face into her neck. She sighed in slight exasperation, saying nothing and just letting him completely collapse and rest into her. He was almost laying completely in her lap, her hand in his hair, a soft smile playing on her lips as she looked out the window and into the city. 

She let out a tiny giggle when she felt the slight tickle of stubble on her neck, followed by sweet kisses on the expanse of it. “I love you, love y’so much, it hurts.” 

“I love you, H.” She intertwined their fingers together, bringing up his hand to her mouth and pressing featherlight kisses onto his knuckles. 

“I love you,” Harry whined, making the smallest of smiles cover her face since knew how clingy and lovey Harry got when he was tired. She tried to relish in these moments as much as possible. 

“I love you, sweet boy, the Peter Parker to my Michelle Jones.” A sweet giggle sounded from Harry as he remembered the conversation from earlier. 

“Entirely in love and cute. I agree.” 

[boldlyvoid]

Sweet Nothing

Spencer Reid x Fem Reader

Summary: Penelope made a friend on the internet over covid who just so happens to live in the same town Dr. Reid just got a new job... and playing Cupid is her favourite thing in the world

Warnings: strangers to lovers, meet cute, 40-year-old virgin Spencer, Virgin reader (late 20's/early 30's), picnics, food mention, lots of Taylor Swift references, first times, Spencer is on anti-depressants, oral sex fem receiving, multiple positions, multiple orgasms, sweet sex, lots of communication

Word Count: 12.6

Making friends on the internet was never easy… it always came with its own set of unique difficulties. People lie, anyone could be secretly crazy and when actions don’t really have consequences on the web, they can get crazier. 

That being said, Y/N has recently made a wonderful friend in a woman named Penelope. 

Penelope’s Tumblr page was pretty normal, very pink and vibrant and happy, but normal nonetheless. She’s in her early 40s, an internet veteran, an ex-employee at the FBI and known for creating a brand new, very safe, social media platform for young people. She was very easy to trust, very forward and easy to open up to as well, which made the two of them bond instantly. 

And despite the age difference and the long distance, Y/N would consider Penelope to be her best friend. 

She knew everything about her from her favourite colour to her hope and dreams and favourite singer… and also the fact she was a virgin well into her adult life and dying to get out there. They’ve spent most of their friendship discussing their equally awful dating lives, would-be lovers and almost hookups. Both women have tried time and time again to find love, however, nothing ever seemed to work out… until the day Penelope got an idea. 

“I have a friend…” Penelope leads, something sinister in her eyes. “And he’s single and pretty cute, too…” 

“Do you have a crush?” Y/N lights up thinking this is a happy moment for Penelope. “Oh my god, Penny tell me all about him!!”

“Well, no, actually… I want to set you up with him,” she explains further, in a much softer tone. “He’s so soft and sweet and a few years younger than me… and still a virgin.” 

Her eyes grow impossibly wide and her jaw drops momentarily, “you’re kidding?”

“Nope.” 

“Wow,” she takes a moment to soak it all in. She sits back in her chair and lets her shoulders drop as she thinks about it. And for once, Penelope is quiet too. “How much older than me is he?” 

“He’s 41… which I know it’s a lot older than you but he’s what you’re looking for and you’d be so perfect for him. He’s so wonderful and he’s waited for so long to find someone who wouldn’t judge him and I know you’d love everything about him if I told you everything but I want you to meet him and find out for yourself… sorry, that was a lot.” 

“No, no, that’s okay,” she actually loved when Penelope went on little rants like that. “I just don’t really have the funds to fly to Virginia right now—

“That’s another reason why he’s perfect for you, he’s moving to Reno next week!!!” Penelope can’t help but shake her hands with excitement while her voice raises at least a pitch if not 3. 

“Is this the same friend who’s already from Nevada?” Her eyes light right up like a cat staring at a laser… she’s seen photos on Penelope’s personal Facebook, everything from selfies in new glasses to the parties with friends  and throwbacks from working at the FBI… “doctor what’s-his-name?” 

“Spencer, yeah oh my god? I can’t believe you remember him?” Penelope asks and she just shrugs, “See, this is why you’re perfect for Spencer, he talks a lot like I do, only about much smarter things but you’d be able to keep up.” 

“I’d love that, actually,” she swoons, feeling slightly embarrassed about how the possibility of having a boyfriend makes her so giddy. “I’d love to listen to someone talk about what they love and just sit there and look at them…” 

“Perfect, I tell you! Perfect!!” Penelope exaggerates, “he’s moving in a few days but all his things are already there. The department paid for his relocation and everything, I’m so surprised he actually decided to go this time, he’s been thinking about it forever.” 

“Ask him if he wants some help unpacking when he does get here and I’d love to give him a hand,” she agrees fully, taking a leap of faith and seeing where this could go without the fear of the unknown weighing her down. 

—

She shows up at Spencer's apartment 2 days after he arrives in Reno, a bottle of Welcome to the Neighbourhood sparkling cider and an assortment of muffins in her arms, thinking it would be quick and easy for him to take the muffins to work over the next few days, unlike a flower arrangement he didn’t need taking up space in his downsized apartment. 

She takes a deep breath before she knocks, her knuckles are barely off the door when he opens it. She barely has a moment to prepare before she’s smacked with the realization that this man is very handsome and incredibly smart… and so, so intimidating. 

“Hi,” he smiles at her. “Is that— you didn’t need to bring anything?” 

She looks down at the basket she’s holding and then back up to see those beautiful brown eyes, “I know… sorry, um, Hi, welcome to the neighbourhood,” she hands him the basket with the best smile she can muster, slightly embarrassed to be so flustered by the mere sight of him. 

“Thank you, come in,” he steps out of the doorway so she could walk in, he steps away from the door completely and sets the basket on a moving box. “Sorry, it’s a mess, the movers just put the boxes wherever they wanted, so I’ve been reorganizing where they were supposed to go,” Spencer explains, gesturing to the room around them. 

“It’s okay, that’s why I’m here,” she’s cheery as she shuts the door and starts to take her coat off. “Can I just leave this over here?” 

“Yeah, actually—“ he reaches for the closet door, “I found the box with hangers first so you could hang your coat when you got here.” 

“She said you were a genius,” Y/N teases, holding her coat up so he could slip the hanger inside and hang it on the bar. She sets her purse down inside the closet too, just for safekeeping. 

“I hope she hasn’t talked me up too much,” he’s honest with his fears. “I’m afraid I’m actually quite average, maybe tilted towards the strange side…” 

She gives him another smile, but ultimately shakes her head, “Don’t worry, she didn’t tell me anything really personal. I only really know about you from stories she’s told me about her old job, but nothing in detail… I was just starting to get to know her when you were hospitalized before the pandemic and she was by your side a bunch so she wasn’t online and I was actually worried something happened to her 'cause she’s never that quiet.” 

“Oh, yeah, that was awful,” he agrees, pressing his lips together awkwardly while he thinks about it. But then he takes a deep breath and his shoulders drop. “So I was thinking we could start in the kitchen? I’ve found most of the boxes.” 

“Yeah, lead the way,” she says, following him through the front room to the living room that was connected to the kitchen by means of an archway. “Oh wow,” she muses aloud, “this is going to be nice to decorate…” 

“You think?” He looks a mix of worried and confused, “I have no idea what to do with the place.” 

“I’m sure once we start taking out all your things we’ll figure something out,” she knows she can make a room out of anything, it's how she decorates her classroom each September. Just with sheer will and pure hope.

“I had to downsize a lot to come here, I donated most of my books so I wouldn’t cost the department a fortune moving them out, but I still have a lot,” he shares, both proud and a little embarrassed that 50% of his boxes are for books. “I don’t have many personal things or decorations… I honestly wasn’t in my last place enough to make it feel homey.” 

“You’ll be here often, though, right?” She asks, selfishly, she can already see them becoming somewhat good friends and she wants to be able to see him regularly. 

He nods, “Yeah, I’m going to be working with the sex crimes unit, 9 to 5 every day unless there’s a big case,” he explains. “Like human trafficking or a pedophile ring or something, but I doubt I’ll see an overwhelming number of those right now, it’ll be nice to downsize to just a city instead of dealing with the entirety of The United States.”

“I have 4 different groups of teenagers that I teach, which is like 120 kids alone, I can’t imagine being principal and having a thousand kids to watch out for,” she can relate it back. “I’m sure this will be less stressful for you… still awful sometimes but—

“But I’m good with stress,” he assures her. “Especially this kind of stress. You know, when I first started at the BAU I had a co worker who transferred over from sex crimes in New York, she actually had a great time cause she got to kick some creeps ass every now and then.” 

“Oh that’s cool, I guess,” she tries not to be jealous, knowing he’s probably had lots of meaningful relationships with women throughout his life, but that’s not going to stop him from getting to know her. 

She grabs a box that says mugs and lifts it to the edge of the counter island instead of dwelling on these bubbling feelings for who is essentially, a stranger. “Which cupboard did you want the mugs to go in?” 

“Uh,” he gets nervous then. “I have about 3 boxes of mugs… so wherever they fit?” 

“Sounds good,” she can’t help but smile, it was cute. “Do you like to collect them or something?” 

“Kinda,” he reaches into his pocket and takes out an exacto-knife, handing it to her so she can open the cardboard box. She pushes the knife out of its plastic sheath and starts to cut along the tape seam. 

The first mug she pulls out is a pink octopus, “oh, this is so cute?” 

“That’s Mildred,” he can’t help but smile, “I got that from Penelope on her last day at work.” 

“Oh,” she holds it to her chest in a sweet hug. “I can’t wait for her to come and visit, I just know she gives amazing hugs.” 

“Actually, she hugged me before I left and said that I was supposed to pass it along to you at some point…” he looks at her softly, slightly terrified. “Which is strange 'cause she knows I don’t like touching and we’ve never met before but for some reason, she knew I’d still want to hug you upon meeting you…” 

She can’t help but laugh, placing the mug down on the counter, “is that an invitation?” 

He nods, opening his arms and allowing her to step into his space. She wraps her arms around his middle and holds him close, feeling his large hands on her shoulder and upper back, his thumb lightly caressing the fabric of her shirt. 

She stays there in the hug for a moment and then pulls back, “I’ll be sure to tell her that you passed that along.” 

“Good,” he’s smiling like an idiot, bright red and flustered, falling head over heels for her already. 

At least, the little voice in her head thinks so. Making her smile back at him with the same giddy hopefulness that she’s longed for most of her life. 

—

He feels like the most awkward person in the whole fucking world. Hiding away in the living room to unbox something alone and give himself a moment of anxiety without having to play it cool in front of her any longer. 

She’s pretty, she’s nice, she smells like honey and happiness and new beginnings… Penelope raved about her for days when she heard he was moving to Reno and now he can see why. 

Y/N is amazing… it’s almost too good to be true.

She’s in his kitchen humming while she unpacks box after box of his dishes, moving around his new space like she was always meant to be here too. Like she’s a ghost or an extra piece of the pre-furnished listing. Like it was hers first. 

He can’t quite place what song it is that she’s humming, but it’s nice. He wanders over to the archway and leans against it, watching her in admiration as she slides some more mugs to the back of a shelf. He knows he wants to ask her out for real. Not just as friends, not just for help or convenience but because his aura is drawn to hers and the colour they could make together has never been made before. 

When she turns around to grab another mug she’s startled by his presence in the doorway, “gosh,” she gasps and places her hand on her chest to get over the initial shock. “What the heck, Spencer?” 

“Sorry, it’s just…” he licks his lips and thinks it over before saying it, “It’s so nice to have you here… it feels right.” 

“Oh,” she softens, he can see a weight lift off her shoulders and her eyes glimmer under the lights. “Thank you, thats the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me?” 

“Would you want to go on a real date, tomorrow?” He can’t help but ask. “I know Penelope was hoping for us to date and I hate that she’s always right but, I would really like to go on a date with you.” 

“Yeah, absolutely,” she makes her way around the counter and over to be closer to him. “I’d love that, what do you want to do?” 

“Um,” he really didn’t think that far ahead… “can I surprise you?” 

“Sure,” she gives him the sweetest, most hopeful smile that makes his heart swell. 

“Is there anything you don’t like? Or are allergic to? Anything I should avoid?” He can’t help but ask. The last thing he wants is to surprise her with something that makes her distance herself from him. It’s happened too many times before. 

She shakes her head, “not that I can think of?” 

“Okay,” he smiles at her, stepping into her space more. “I found my Alexa that Penelope got me years ago, did you want me to put on that song you were humming?” 

She looks like a dear in the headlights, she clearly forgot he could hear her when she was humming. “Oh, um… no? I don't think you’d like the song.” 

“It sounded nice when you were humming?” 

“It’s embarrassing…” 

“What is it?” 

She sighs and gives in, “Taylor Swift has this song that I listen to when I dream about the life I want and it’s been stuck in my head all day cause I’m in your kitchen… and the lyric is outside they’re pushing and shoving but you’re in the kitchen humming, all that you ever wanted from me was Sweet Nothing…” 

“That’s not embarrassing,” his heart swells. “Penelope is a matchmaker, has she ever told you about all the couples she created at the FBI? She’s responsible for 5 marriages and by proxy about 10 babies.” 

“Wow,” Y/N’s a bit taken aback by that. “So you’re saying she’s like Cupid?” 

He nods, “Or she’s able to see fate's design a lot better than us.” 

“One hug? That’s all it took?” She teases him. 

“A few mugs?” He teases right back. 

“Hey, you can tell a lot about a person by what they hoard,” she bites back, trying not to smile too hard. 

He just shakes his head and backs up, headed back to the living room with her in tow. “Hey Alexa, what’s the Taylor Swift song that says you’re in the kitchen humming.” 

“That would be Sweet Nothing by Taylor Swift on Midnights By Taylor Swift, released October—“ the British man's voice comes booming from the small speaker only to be cut off.

“Hey Alexa play Sweet Nothing by Taylor Swift,” he orders with a smirk plastered to his face. 

“Okay, here’s Sweet Nothing by Taylor Swift on Amazon Music.” 

Within the first few notes, he knows this is going to be their song. He extends his hand to her, silently asking her to dance even though he doesn’t really know how… and by design or some exquisite happenstance, she takes it. 

With one hand in hers, his other hand lands on her hip while her extra hand is placed ever so gently on his shoulder. Chest to chest, eye to eye, they smile and sway along to the flow of the tune. Her hand squeezes around his own slightly tighter, the tune matches exactly how she was humming in his own kitchen and then he hears the lyric she mentioned. 

They said the end is coming,

Everyone's up to something,

I find myself running home to your sweet nothings.

Outside, they're push and shoving,

You're in the kitchen humming,

All that you ever wanted from me was sweet nothing.

He spins her around making her laugh as she crashes back into his chest and holds him tighter. She wraps her arm around his middle and rests her chin on his shoulder. The music is loud, but his thoughts are louder. He wants everything this song mentions but with her. Only her. And it’s been only an hour and a bit that he’s known her. He doesn’t even really know her but he craves to. 

“Do you write poems?” He asks after the song mentions them. 

She shakes her head, “no, but I know you read a lot of them… do you write them too?” 

He nods, “Sometimes… maybe I’ll make you one.” 

“I’ll probably cry,” she admits. 

Industry disruptors and soul deconstructors

And smooth-talking hucksters out glad-handing each other

And the voices that implore, "You should be doing more"

To you, I can admit that I'm just too soft for all of it

She is soft-hearted. She’s sweet and kind and wonderful, too. She tilts her head to the side to rest against his own. Now cheek to cheek, he lets out a deep breath he didn’t even know he was holding. She hums along to the song, just soft enough for him to hear, not quite on key, but it’s endearing. 

They’re quiet for the rest of the song and keep swaying, knowing it’s going to end soon and they’re going to have to pull away. They don’t want to… luckily the song is on a loop. It starts right back up and so they don’t pull away. 

—

His place is still a mess when he gets ready to leave the next morning. After their dance, she knew she wouldn’t be able to focus on unpacking and he knew he’d be too tempted to hold her all night long… so she went home. He helped her into her coat, he hugged her goodbye and she left, taking a piece of his heart with her. 

He’s not as used to Reno as he was with DC, but one look at the map and he was able to find the grocery store quite easily. He walks there because he opted not to bring his shitty car with him. He sold it with the promise of looking for a new one here in Nevada, but it was actually a lot nicer to walk in a sunny place like this. And on days when it’s not as nice, taxis exist for a reason. He really didn’t need a car, anymore. 

He didn’t realize how much he missed Nevada until now. 

He spent a lot of last night thinking about what he wanted to do for their date and came up with the splendid idea of a picnic. The first thing he did was call Penelope, it wasn’t too late for her back in DC, so he didn’t feel too bad, but he had to ask her some questions. He wanted everything to be perfect. She talked his ear off and then gave him an extensive list of the things she knows Y/N likes from past conversations, it turns out they’ve spent a bit of time talking about snack foods and it was finally coming in handy. 

He comes back to his newly unpacked kitchen with bags of groceries, he prepares sandwiches on croissants and cuts up cheese and puts them on toothpicks with fancy slivers of meat… and he bought some new Tupperware so the meats and cheese can be in one and the fruit he bought can be in another. He bought her favourite drinks and some cute disposable cups to put them in because he didn’t have anything other than coffee mugs, which he was sure she wouldn’t mind, but he did. 

He wanted this to be perfect for her. 

All while he was packing their picnic basket, he listened to Taylor’s music, thanks to Penelope he had a playlist of her favourites to get himself caught up on them and ended up liking most of them himself. Especially one called Maroon. The lyrics are so powerfully written and wondrously sung, it’s as if a heart-stopping novel was put to music and all told within 3 minutes and 38 seconds. Taylor Swift is a genius, that much her lover got right in sweet nothing. What a mind, indeed. 

Just a little past her apartment, there is a little park with a lovely field of flowers beside it. It’s a perfect spot for a picnic, so once he’s finished packing their picnic, he sets off on a walk to her apartment, thinking a walk to the park together would only add to the ambiance of the day. 

He makes it to her place a little before 11, like he told her he would, and spends a few seconds in the hallway to catch his breath and fix his hair before he knocks. And when he does knock, it’s 3 times and he hits the wood pretty hard with his knuckles. Inside, it’s pretty quiet and then he hears her call out, “Just a sec!!”

He waits patiently for a minute or two and then she wipes the door open while putting in an earring, “Sorry, I didn’t realize what time it was.”

She’s breathtaking. She’s all dolled up and it’s all for him. He can’t believe it. 

“That’s okay,” he manages to breathe out, leaving his mouth hung open as he stares. 

She just smirks and reaches out for him, touching his chin and redirecting his jaw closed. “You don’t want to catch flies…” 

He blushes, uncontrollably, and bows his head, bashful as ever. “Sorry, you just look beautiful… I’m not used to someone getting all dolled up for me.” 

She lets out a huff of breath through her nose, settling all her nerves, her shoulders drop and she stares at him like he’s the only man in the whole world. “You’re so sweet, I almost can’t believe you’re real.” 

“That feeling is mutual,” he assures her. 

She finally looks down at his hands to see him holding a picnic basket. “Oh my god, are we going to have a picnic?” She lights right up. 

He nods, “is that okay?” 

“Okay? It’s perfect, Spencer!” She’s so excited and it’s real. She’s not playing it up or anything. She’s genuinely over the moon. “Let me just put on my shoes and grab my purse, you can wait in here.” 

“Okay,” he steps inside and closes the door behind himself as she runs off into he bedroom.  

It’s a small apartment. Her bedroom and bathroom are separate rooms, but the kitchen, living room and the washer and dryer are all exposed. She has it set up really nicely, it’s warm and inviting and happy and he could see himself making a home on her couch in the upcoming weeks of getting to know her. He couldn’t wait to learn about her favourite shows and movies and books. He wanted to hear all about her family and friends and co-workers, even her favourite students and the ones who irked her. He wanted to hear about it all. He wants to know her favourite colour and how she likes her pizza and her pasta and what her favourite baked good is. There’s an endless amount of personal things that he can learn, and he wants to know it all. He wants to love it all, too. 

When she returns, she has her shoes on, her purse over her shoulder and a blanket draped over her forearm. “I don’t want to sit on the grass, and I didn’t think you fit a blanket in there…” 

“Oh, shoot,” he looks down at the basket and realizes that was the one thing he forgot. “Yeah, we’re going to need that.” 

“Thought so,” she smirks. She walks back over to the door and grabs her keys, “anything else you need?” 

“Just you,” he replies without thinking it over. 

“Stop being so sweet,” she nudges him, staring up at him like he hung the stars, himself. 

“Or else?” He teases. It’s remarkable how easy it is with her. It just flows out of him like the script was already written between them. 

She steps even closer into his space, “you get a kiss for every compliment,” she says, standing on her tip-toes, she presses her lips to his cheek for 1, 2, 3 seconds of pure bliss. 

She drops back down to her normal height, a smirk plastered to her face, proud of the lipstick stain that’s almost as red as his blushing cheek. She reaches up to wipe it off but he pulls back, “don’t…” he’s adamant. “I want everyone to know you’re mine if you’re going out looking this beautiful beside me.” 

“Okay then.” 

—

Like a real man, Spencer insists on standing closer to the road as they walk along the sidewalk. A few moments into their walk, he transitions the basket to his right side so that his hand that’s closest to her is free and she notices it right away. She has draped the blanket over her left arm, leaving her right hand free… all but begging him to take it. But he’s shy and quiet and he doesn’t know how to just do it. 

So she does. 

She takes his hand in hers and interlocks their fingers, smiling up at him as they keep going forward, “have you ever been to this park?” 

He shakes his head, “No… is it nice? The reviews online said it’s clean and there isn’t a lot of illegal activity there.” 

She can’t help but laugh, “Yeah, it’s a nice park. Sometimes I hit up the bookstore down here and then I go read in the park. It’s nice in the summer when I have a week off between my regular job at the school and my summer job.” 

“Summer job?” 

She nods, “Mhm, you know, 'cause I only work at the high school when school is in session and I don’t make enough to take two whole months off so each summer I take a new job. Like last summer I worked at a daycare but the summer before that I was at a ladies' clothing store a few streets over.” 

“What are you going to do this summer?” He asks, intrigued. 

“I’m not sure yet… I’m still friends with some of the girls at the daycare so I might go back, but honestly, I’m also thinking of putting in my application for summer school and I might tutor some of the kids that need help graduating,” she explains. “Cause I know how hard it is to try your best and still just not get it. They shouldn’t be punished for having a hard time.” 

“You sound like a wonderful teacher, I’m sure they’d really like to have you in the summer, too,” Spencer compliments. “I was always closest to the kids that didn’t do very well in school. It’s not that I pitted them or felt like I could improve them, I just liked who they were as people, more.”

“They’re lovely kids, they just get pushed to the side because they either learn differently or they can’t do the work at home for whatever reason. And they shouldn’t be punished for that, it’s not their fault that most kids nowadays have to work to help their families or become a second parent to help their younger siblings. They barely have the time to take care of themselves let alone do 5 hours of homework a night,” she rants, “I genuinely hate how the school system is currently.” 

“My nephew is in high school currently and he isn’t having the best time,” Spencer shares. “He calls me for help on his math homework sometimes and it always floors me that even if he got to the right answer, if he didn’t follow the exact formula that the teacher uses then he gets a 0. There are many different ways to solve an equation, and as long as he shows his work it should count.” 

“Exactly!” She raises her voice a little and startles a lady passing them. “It’s frustrating to watch them struggle with shit they’ll never use again unless they’re going into a math-dominated field. It’s not fair.” 

“More kids need a teacher like you,” Spencer says, giving her hand a little squeeze. 

“Why, thank you,” she gleams. “If we weren’t in the middle of the walkway I’d kiss you again…”

“The books store is just up here, you can kiss me in the aisles… if you really want to?” he kids, but not really. She can tell he wants another kiss from her. 

So she drags him into the bookstore, they tell the worker that they’re just looking and perusing the store, calling out the titles they know and rating the backs of the ones that seem interesting until they’re in the back aisle. She turns to him with a smirk, “Are you gonna make me stand on my tip-toes every time, bean sprout?” 

He smirks and places the picnic basket down on the floor so his hands are free, “I could just kiss you, instead, you know?” 

“You wouldn’t be so bold?” She tempts, secretly hoping he will. 

He tentatively reaches out, placing his beautifully soft hand on her cheek and caressing her skin with his thumb before he starts to lean in. She closes her eyes in anticipation, just mere seconds before their lips touch and like the big bang, universes were created in the pitch-black darkness behind her eyelids. Colours she’s never seen before, feelings she’s only read on pages that surround them, and a warmth in her chest that seems so foreign… yet so right. 

He goes to pull away and she leans back in, dropping the blanket in the process to kiss him again and again until his tongue slips past her lips and it's more than just a kiss. It’s the start of something beautiful. Something more than Penelope ever thought possible when her two friends ended up in the same town at the same time. 

They’re brought out of the moment by the sound of a woman clearing her throat, “You actually have to buy something you can’t just make out back here.” 

“Sorry, sorry.”

“I’m so sorry!”

The two of them rush out with equally guilty mugs. She grabs the first book she see’s, “We’ll take this.” 

“I’ll meet you at the register,” the keeper replies rather snidely and over it as she walks away. 

Looking down at the book, it’s a poetry book by an author she’s never heard of before. “You know this one?” 

Spencer shakes his head, “surprisingly, no.” 

She picks up the blanket again, he grabs the basket and the two of them slowly make their way towards the cash. “Sorry, again,” Y/N says, pressing her lips together awkwardly. “I don’t know where that came from, we really just wanted a book for our picnic.” 

“I’ve been in love before, I get it,” she waves it off with a growing smile. “This is a good choice… it’s only 6 dollars as well.”

“I’ve got it,” Spencer steps forward, taking his wallet out of his pocket and handing the woman two 5 dollar bills. “Do you take tips or donations?”

“Always, it keeps the lights on,” she’s happy to take the extra money, exchanging one of the 5’s for 4 1’s and placing them in a jar behind the desk. “Thank you, I hope to see you back here sometime.” 

“Definitely, I’d love to have a real look next time,” Spencer teases as Y/N takes the book. He places his hand on her back, “thank you.” 

“Have a good rest of your day,” she adds for good measure, following Spencer towards the door. 

“You too! And enjoy your picnic!” The lady calls back just before they leave. 

“God,” Y/N scolds herself, “I can’t believe that happened.” 

“Spencer just laughs, “It’s not that embarrassing… believe me, I’ve walked in on much worse.” 

“I can imagine, I mean, Penelope told me about some of your cases,” she says with the roll of her eyes. “I really don’t know how you did it for so long.” 

“Honestly, me either,” he agrees with her there. “How much do you know about me? Because she never told me much about you and I’m worried we’re not on even playing grounds…” 

“Oh, not much!” She tries to sound as believable as possible. “She basically told me you’re a genius, she loves you like a little brother and some little anecdotes like you were shot in the knee once and were on crutches for months and you wear a lot of purple which I’ve also seen in the Facebook photos she has of you… but nothing super personal.”

“Okay, that’s good then… cause she’s seen me at my worst,” Spencer admits as they make their way toward the park entrance

“She was basically big brother to you guys,” Y/N teases. 

Spencer manages to laugh, “Yeah, she was.”

The gates to the park are open, there are children running about cheering with one another while their parents sit on the benches and talk, barely watching on. They pass everyone and head right back to the grassy area behind the playground, past the soccer fields and take cover under a baby Willow tree that still has lots of growing left to do, however, she’s still big enough to cast a good amount of shade on them. 

She lays out the blanket perfectly and takes a seat while Spencer gets down on his knees, placing the picnic basket in front of himself. All while they’re still talking about Penelope. He takes out two plastic champagne flutes and hands them to her first, then he sets out the bubbly drink he got, followed by 4 Tupperware containers. “Speaking of which, I called her last night and she told me about your favourite snacks…” 

“No way?” She can’t believe it. 

He simply nods, a smirk growing, “It would seem you two love food.” 

“Well, it’s always late when we call so she’s seen a lot of my nightly snacks,” She admits. “Is that? No way…” She takes one of the containers and opens it up to find little croissant sandwiches. “You want me to fall in love with you? Don’t you?” 

He’s startled to hear it and she can’t believe she said it. It was forward and real and incredibly honest. But Spencer nods. Of course, he nods. “Yeah, I do.” 

She looks at him like that 'I do' was the big one. The most important one. And to her, it’s almost more important. “Really?” 

“I’ve spent most of my life completely alone, I’m tired… and I’m not settling, not at all, no,” he stutters out and worries he’s offended her. “I just mean, I like you, you’re wonderful already and everything I look for in a person and if you loved me I’d be the luckiest man in the world.” 

“Wow,” she can’t believe it. 

“Sorry—

“No, no,” she reaches out, dropping the container so she could touch his knee instead, “don’t, I’m just shocked, really…” 

“Really?” 

She nods, “Yeah, not many people have just openly told me that they like me let alone want me to love them?” 

“Me either,” Spencer admits. He’s ready to lay his whole heart bare to her. “I really want someone to love me and if that someone was you then I could die happy.” 

“Not on my watch,” she manages to smile. “My love means taking care of you. My love includes worrying and obsessing and making you entirely mine… it’s driven people away before we could even start anything real, I don’t want that to happen here.” 

“It won’t,” Spencer is quick to reply. “It can’t drive me away, it’s exactly what I want… and I want to love you just the same.” 

“You won’t have to try hard,” she teases, smiling up at him. “Come on, get comfortable, grab a sandwich and talk to me. Tell me about yourself and watch it happen.” 

“Okay,” he follows her instructions. 

He gets comfortable on the blanket, taking off his shoes so he can sit crisscross applesauce and he pours them each a glass of sparkling cider. “I’m sober,” he shares first. “I had some drug problems in my 20’s and I find if I avoid all substances, except coffee, then I won’t slip.” 

“Wise man,” she compliments. “I don’t drink either, mostly cause drinking alone is sad and I don’t like how it makes me feel.”

“And I picked this pinky one cause of the line in Paris…” Spencer admits which makes her peak right up. “You know, fake wine makes believe it’s champagne…” 

“Oh my god, you listened to Midnights?” 

He nods, “I went back to listen to Sweet Nothing and thought why not?” 

She can’t help but shake her head and smile, “That’s so cute, you have no idea how cool this is for me. No one I know really likes her, everyone acts too cool for Taylor Swift and then you come in and listen to her on your own accord? That’s— that’s everything to me, Spencer.” 

“I think she’s amazing, well, so far, at least,” he admits. “I’ve only listened to the one album but it was a great album, I particularly enjoyed Maroon.”

“Her track 2’s are always my favourite,” Y/N raves. “She saves track 5 for her personal favourites or songs that mean the most to her, like on Red there’s this one called All Too Well and it’s originally 5 minutes but on the new recording of Red it’s 10 minutes and it’s so good. It’s insanely beautiful.” 

“I can’t wait to listen to it,” he can’t help but smile. “I love listening to you talk about her, you glow.” 

“Here,” she pulls out her phone and headphones from her purse and plugs them in. “We can listen to it now if you want?” 

“Okay,” he agrees, taking an earbud and placing it in his ear while she moves closer to share the other. 

And for 10 minutes they sit there in silence, she eats her sandwich and he listens to the words with the most admiration. The hurt is palpable, the passion is gut-wrenching… he loves it and she can tell from the look on his face. He’s so focused and enthralled. She feels a warmth in her chest that she hasn’t felt before, something in this moment is what makes her really love him. She isn’t just infatuated, he isn’t just cute and nice… he’s special. 

“That was amazing—

“I never want to feel like that,” she whispers, staring at him intently. “don’t break my heart, please.” 

“I don’t plan to?” 

She lets out a deep breath she didn’t mean to hold, “I’ve never dated anyone before because I can’t go through the heartache. She made it seem so fucking awful I never want to feel it.” 

“It’s awful,” he admits, all the hurt he’s experienced comes forth, pooling behind his eyes as tears form. “I was in love only once. She died before I could tell her.”

“Oh, Spencer, I’m so sorry,” she can’t believe it. “When?” 

“In 2013.” 

“Have you been single for 10 years?” 

He nods, “Basically. I tried to date before the pandemic but she wasn’t really my type, it was more convenient so it didn’t last.” 

“Oh.”

“This isn’t like that,” he assures. “You’re kind and beautiful and you have a normal job and you make people's lives better… you’ve made Penelope’s life better. You are sunshine—

“Do not call yourself midnight rain I will laugh,” she cuts him off, biting back a smirk.” 

“I wasn’t,” he laughs too, “but it works here, too.” 

“I’m not always sunny,” she adds, making sure he knows that. 

“That’s okay,” he’s fine with it, really. “Even on gloomy days, the sun is just behind the clouds.” 

She can’t believe he just said that. It’s so beautiful and kind and about her? It makes her just stare at him, mouth opening to say something but nothing comes out. She doesn’t know what to say. “Oh, man… I’m going to fall in love with you so quickly.” 

“Me too,” Spencer smiles, reaching out to hold her hand. He grips it tight and doesn’t break eye contact with her, “and I’m excited about it.” 

—

He only lives around the corner from her which means they see each other every day for the next week. They wake up at the same time, they get coffee before work, she drops him off at the police station and then she heads to the high school. After school, she goes and picks up something for dinner and he Ubers right to her apartment to eat. They talk well into the night, they listen to music, they watch documentaries and movies and they cuddle… she knows almost everything about him and he knows almost everything about her. He’s going to meet her family in the summer, hopefully, and she’s going to meet Diana in a few weeks. 

Being together is the most fun she’s ever had in her entire life. 

And while they’re not going on dates to get to know each other, they are dating and Penelope is happy about it for the most part. She’s just upset she lost her nightly chats with Y/N on Zoom. They barely even text now. 

When Penny finally does get Y/N on the phone, however, it’s on a night that Spencer has an intense case in Reno. The BAU are back in town… 3 women have died this week, all online sex workers, they never walked the streets and yet that’s where they’ve ended up. It’s heartbreaking. 

“I called him today during his break and he just sounded so defeated, it breaks my heart,” Y/N says with her hand over her chest and pleading eyes, “it’s too bad you’re not working with them again.” 

“Their new tech guy is good,” Penelope assures her, “and he’s got JJ and Luke with him so he’s fine… he’s more than fine, he’s Spencer.” 

She rolls her eyes playfully, “he is fine…” 

“You guys really like each other?” Penelope digs, she wasn’t going to pry and press too many questions but she can’t help herself. 

Y/N nods, “Yeah… I think I love him.” 

“Really?” Penelope lights right up, “Oh my god?” 

“I know! It’s been so nice, we were going to go on another date tonight but, you know, duty calls…” 

“How many have you had so far?” 

“Uh,” Y/N doesn’t really know. “Well, we unpacked boxes last Saturday and then on Sunday we went to the park and I’ve seen him every day this week…”

“I know,” Penelope pretends to be mad about it but she can’t stay fake mad for long. She loves them both too much. “I’ve missed you.” 

“I miss you too, I just like cuddles with my boyfriend more…” 

“Boyfriend?” 

She nods, “Yeah, I think that’s what we are, I mean, we’ve already talked about what we want and he said he wants to fall in love with me so I think that makes us boyfriend and girlfriend?” 

“Spencer said that? Shy, nervous, Spencer Reid?” Penelope can’t believe it. 

She can’t help but laugh, “Yeah, I guess that’s him… I don’t know, he’s a lot less shy with me.” 

“Have you—

“No, no, not yet,” she waves her hands in front of the screen and looks panicked. “No. We haven’t even talked about it yet.” 

“No?” 

She shakes her head, “No… I mean, I want to and we’ve had some nice make-out sessions but we haven’t done anything more than kiss.”

“Wow,” Penelope is genuinely shocked. “I thought you would’ve jumped him by now.” 

“Hey,” she says with a cheeky smile. “I have self-control… so does he, I guess cause he hasn’t even tried to cop a feel or anything, he’s super reserved.” 

“Well yeah he’s spent 40 years being a virgin,” Penelope says without any malice, she’s just stating a fact. “He’s used to things not going there. I think you have to make the move.” 

“I was thinking that too,” she doesn’t sound excited about it. “I’m just really scared even though I know I shouldn’t be when it’s Spencer. He’s going to be very sweet and he’s already told me he thinks I’m beautiful and I feel it around him… it’s just so nerve-wracking.” 

“I was still a teenager when I had sex the first time and it was so scary, I wish I waited,” she really emphasizes Wish. “I wish I was mature and chose someone good and deserving and I wish he cared about me. But you have all those things right now, it’ll be worth it now.” 

“I know,” she tries her hardest to believe her. “I know it’ll be okay… it’s just the anticipation feels more like anxiety.”

“Which is totally normal, but it’ll go away when it happens, believe me.” 

“I do.” 

—

Spencer's cause goes on another 4 days. She brings him coffee and donuts after work, she meets his friends and ex-collogues and she understands now why he had to get out of it all. Emily is just a few years older than him and fully grey, JJ sneaks out to make phone calls to her family who she doesn’t see as often as she wants and Luke is still single no matter how hard he tries. The job takes things from them. 

She gives him a hug before she leaves each time, never a kiss, that would embarrass him in front of his new co-workers and his old ones would never let him live it down. So he gets just a hug. It’s long, they linger and then she goes home. 

It’s weird being home without him now that he’s been there often. She misses him dearly, every day. All through the weekend, he works. And then the case ends on a Tuesday at 3 in the morning and stays up just for her. He buys them coffee, he walks to her place and he knocks on her door right at 6:30, 15 minutes after he knows her alarm has gone off. 

She opens the door dazed and confused. “What are you doing here?” 

“I missed my best friend.” 

“Get in here,” she tugs him inside and makes him put the coffees down so she could have a proper welcome. 

She cups his face in her hands and kisses him with so much force and passion, it startles him. But he kisses her back. He wraps her up in a big hug, bringing her in closer, he deepens the kiss with the swipe of his tongue and she pushes him back against her door. It’s as fiery as the first time, it’s better than the kiss in the bookstore, there’s so much more feeling in it now. 

His hand roams up the flat of her back, over her shoulders and rests on the nape of her neck. His thumb caresses the skin under her ear, causing her to moan into the kiss and pull away, embarrassed. Her eyes go wide and she stutters on her way to find an excuse but Spencer just smiles, still caressing her, he brings his other hand up to cup her cheek, “It’s okay… you’re so cute.” 

Her cheeks heat up and she feels bashful as all hell. “Shut up,” is all she can manage to say. “I’m still half asleep, I mean, you should be lucky I already brushed my teeth before you surprised me.” 

“Mm,” Spencer hums, running his tongue over his teeth, “that’s why you’re so minty.” 

She just pulls away and reaches for her coffee, “And now I can’t drink this until the minty-ness goes away, so thank you.” 

“Should I go awa—

“No,” she rushes out. “No, you can stay. I can drive you home on my way to work.” 

“Okay,” he can’t help but giggle a bit as he makes his way closer to her, reaching out for her waist. “You like me…” 

“Shush!” She swats him away, “I have to get ready, don’t tempt me.” 

“Just one more kiss? Come on, isn’t it the deal that I compliment you and you kiss me?” He begs. “You’re so beautiful and smart and lovely—

She steps closer to him and presses her lips right to his only to pull back just as fast. He cups her face in his hands and stops her from moving away too fast and peppers kisses to her lips. “Spence— Spencer!” She giggles while trying to pull away, “Seriously, I have to go to work!!” 

“Fine,” Spencer sighs as he lets her go, only to pull her back in for one last kiss. “Okay, now you can go.” 

She just laughs as she pulls away and heads back to her room, “Come on, you can sit in my room while I get ready.” 

“Really?” He follows even though he doesn’t believe her. 

“Why not?” She doesn’t see why it’s a big deal, “I’m just doing my makeup and then I have to pick an outfit and I’ll change in the bathroom?” 

“Okay, yeah, sorry I just thought you meant you’d change in front of me and I didn’t think we were there yet?” 

“Oh, no,” she agrees. Taking a seat at her little makeup desk, she turns to him. “When do you think we should be ready for something like that?” 

“When do you want to?” He questions her right back. 

She shrugs, “I don’t know… this Saturday is 2 weeks of us being together so, I mean, most couples start moving further around then?” 

“We’re not most couples,” he reminds her. 

“What do you mean?” 

“Well,” Spencer hesitates, he looks a little nervous but he sits on the end of her bed anyway. “I’ve never had sex before… I’ve wanted to, I’ve tried.” 

“I’ve never even tried,” she’s incredibly honest. “Making out is as far as I’ve gone with anyone.” 

“Really?” He almost can’t believe it. “Why?” 

She shrugs, “I’m over-emotional and incredibly soft. I can’t do one-night stands and I’ve never trusted anyone enough to experiment before.” 

“Oh,” Spencer softens, “you feel safe with me?” 

She nods, “Extremely.” 

He gets up and wraps his arms around her, resting his cheek against the top of her head. She snuggles into him and holds onto one of his forearms, they both sigh. Completely content with one another. 

—

They agreed to try and go further on Friday night. They both have weekends off, so they could spend the whole weekend together if they wanted to. 

And when Friday comes, she isn’t nervous. It’s just a Friday. 

She placed an order for Chinese food when she got home from work and texted Spencer right after so he could get it on his way over. It was closer to his place and convenient this way and he just liked to get it for them. And while he’s on his way, she takes the time to bring out some comfy blankets to put on the couch for their cuddles later and she lights some candles and turns on her fairy lights. Her whole living room is set in a soft, romantic mood with the hopes that they could do more than just cuddle tonight… 

Spencer knocks 3 times to let her know it’s him and then he walks in, “Hey, so they ran out of spring rolls but they gave us egg rolls instead, is that cool?” 

“Yeah, that’s fine,” she doesn’t care, rushing over to the door she takes the bags from him and puts them on the table by the door instead.

He slips out of his shoes and puts them beside hers, then he takes his bag off and places it beside his shoes, next he takes off his coat and hangs it up. He even locks her front door for her, these are all things he’s used to doing after 2 weeks of visiting. She clears her throat when he takes too long to turn back to her, “excuse me, I’m waiting,” she teases. 

“Sorry,” he steps closer to her and places his hand on her cheek as he leans in for his welcome home kiss. It’s a new tradition that she loves so much and clearly he does too as she can feel him smile through the kiss. He kisses her once, twice and a 3rd time just because he can, “there, happy?” 

She shakes her head and cups both his cheeks, pulling him in for a longer, more passionate kiss. His hands go to her waist, holding her closer to his body, he wraps her up in a hug as well. She pulls back with an audible “mwah,” and a smile on her own face. “Now I’m happy.” 

“You’re so cute,” he compliments. “I missed you so much today.” 

“I missed you, handsome,” she compliments right back. “Um, I missed you so much I was wondering if maybe you’d want to stay over tonight?” 

“Oh?” He’s only slightly surprised, “yeah, I’d like that… I just need to check my bag, hold on.” 

“Okay?” She’s a little confused about why he has to, but she doesn’t ask any questions. She just watches him open up his satchel and search the pockets. 

“Oh, good,” he says with relief in his voice as he pulls out a bottle of pills and his toothbrush. “I haven’t told you yet, but I’m on antidepressants… I take them every night before bed.” 

“That’s nothing to be ashamed of,” she says without a second thought. “Do they help?” 

He nods, putting them back in his bag until later, “Yeah, I like them.” 

“Good, now, come on,” she grabs the bag of food and makes her way over to the kitchen so she can start dishing everything out. “Did you check that they had everything?” 

“You bet, after they forgot the red sauce last time I’m never not checking the bag again,” he says as he follows her. 

They spend a few minutes in the kitchen as they fill their plates with a variety of food. Spencer opts for a fork while she uses the chopsticks provided in the bag and then they move back to the living room. They put their plates on the coffee table and sit down criss-cross apple sauce together on the floor in front of the couch. The remote is on Spencer's side of the table, and the TV is on and ready for them to pick a show, but instead, Spencer asks how her day went. 

“Oh, it was okay with my juniors we worked on SAT prep and then with my 3 freshman classes we worked on their independent study unit and I’m now considered the cool teacher cause I let them listen to their music while they read,” she shares with a smile. “And then for my spare I filled in for Miss Tyndall, the arts teacher, so we watched a David Bowie doc while they all worked on different projects.” 

“Sounds like a fun day,” Spencer loves to listen to her talk about it all. “You’d be my favourite teacher too.” 

“I know,” she can’t help but smile. “How was your day?” 

He shrugs, taking a forkful of fried rice, he covers his mouth with his hand while he talks, “It was okay, no one died so that’s a bonus.” 

For the rest of their meal, they share little stories, about their day and things they heard on the news or on TikTok, funny anecdotes and memories from their separate pasts. It’s nice. She could listen to him all day and he felt the same. When their plates are empty, they both lean back against the couch and Spencer turns to stare at her with so much love in his eyes. 

“I’m really enjoying my nights with you,” he shares, and in the silence, she feels it. But he says it anyway, “I love you.” 

“I love you, too,” she says and a feeling of relief flows out of her in the form of a sigh. Her shoulders drop, and she looks over at him with a sweet smile, silent as they take in the moment. “I love you so much.” 

He places his hand on top of hers, both of them are in too much of a food coma to move closer or kiss or anything. They just hold hands and stare at each other. 

“I get it now,” she whispers. “I understand what she’s been singing about all these years… this feeling right here. It’s worth the heartbreak, I think.” 

“I can’t tell the future, but I know I never want to leave you,” Spencer replies, voice equally as soft. “I want everything with you.” 

Her heart starts to beat out of her chest but she knows she has to ask it. “Would you be my first?” 

“Only if you’d be mine?” 

She nods, tears bubbling behind her eyes, and she squeezes his hand. “I’d love nothing more… but I’m in a food coma right now.” 

Spencer breaks out in a burst of historical laughter first, causing her to laugh just as hard and lean into his shoulder. 

“Well, then it’s a good thing we have all weekend,” Spencer finally says, he wraps his arm around her and holds her close. 

“Even if we don’t do it tonight, do you want to sleep in my bed with me?” 

He nods against her, “Yeah… I’ve been thinking about that a lot actually. It’s really hard to leave here in the middle of the night knowing you’re sleeping alone in there when we were just cuddling right here,” he motions to the couch. “I want to wake up with you next to me every morning.” 

The warmth that fills her stomach is a mixture of extreme happiness but also anxiety… it’s almost too good to be true. She pulls away and looks up at him with fearful eyes, “is it normal to fall in love this fast?” The words just tumble out of her. 

Spencer shrugs, “I mean… I’ve always heard the saying ‘when you know, you know’ and I’ve read a lot about love at first sight and the way we pick our mates based on familiar facial structures that make us feel safe… and I’ve been in love before and I never met her—

“But I understand why you loved her, she was the only person in your life other than your mother to truly take care of you and listen…” Y/N cuts him off, remembering the night he told her all about Maeve. 

“Yeah, and from the first day I met you, you’ve done the same,” Spencer reminds her. “You brought me muffins so that I’d have something to eat before work and you wanted to help me unpack and every day since you have cared for me more than anyone I know. Onto of that you’re beautiful and easy to talk to and you’re not only wonderful to me, but to everyone, you know. It wasn’t hard for me to love you, I’m just surprised you love me.” 

“Why?” 

“Well, for starters I’m a 42-year-old man who’s spent the last 20 years of my life hunting serial killers and I had a drug problem and I’ve killed people and I was in prison… you know everything and you still love me?” Spencer really can’t believe it. 

“Mhm, I love you because despite all that shit that’s happened to you, you still have a sweet smile and a big heart and the best mind I know,” Y/N confirms everything he needed to know. “I love you because you’re you. There’s no other reason.”

He cups her cheek and looks at her with the softest expression known to man, “I’m going to love you forever.” 

“Show me?” she whispers, pleading with her eyes to know just how much he loves her. 

“Do we just leave our plates here?” He teases, going to stand up. 

“I guess we can put them away,” she agrees, she moves to her knees and gathers up her own plate while Spencer does the same with his. 

They meet again in the kitchen, placing both plates in her dishwasher, she turns to the leftovers and starts to pack them away while Spencer moves back over to his bag. He grabs his phone and something else while she’s not looking and he opens up Spotify. He doesn’t have many songs saved to his account, just some classical music and the most important song… Sweet Nothing. 

She turns to him within milliseconds, “Spence?” 

He places his phone on the counter and hands her a little rock, one he picked up on his walk over to see her before work last week. He never had the time to give it to her between all their kissing and her getting ready for work. “Here… it’s only May but I can get you another rock in July.” 

She doesn’t want to speak or she’ll cry, but she manages to say: “okay,”  as she takes it from him and steps into his space to dance again. In her kitchen this time… 

She rests her head on his shoulder, his arms around her waist, they sway to the sound of the music and hold each other close. And then he kisses her shoulder and the side of her neck up to her ear. He cups her face in his hand and stares into her eyes, “bedroom?” 

“Bedroom,” she agrees, taking his hand in hers, she leads him back into her room and turns on just the one table lamp she has beside her bed, “should we light candles and stuff?” 

“Do you want to?” 

She shrugs, “I don’t know, isn’t that what people do when they have special sex?” 

“Special sex?” 

“You know, first times, birthday sex, anniversary sex… emotional sex,” she redefines what she meant and surprisingly she isn’t embarrassed. 

“Candles would be nice, then,” Spencer agrees with a smile. “Do you have condoms? Are you on the pill?” 

She smirks, “I bought some condoms on Tuesday after work.” 

He watches her open her bedside table and take out the box of condoms and a lighter, she hands him the condoms, “Here.” 

“Thanks,” he reads them over, latex-free, real feel, they’d work perfectly. 

While he’s reading over the box, she lights a few candles in her room and he takes a seat on the side of her bed, watching her. When she returns to him, she stands between his legs and rests her hands on his shoulders. “You’re sure?” 

“Absolutely,” Spencer smiles up at her and reaches out to hold her hips. He plays with the hem of her shirt, “how do you want to do this?” 

“Can we strip down to our underwear and get into bed and kiss for a bit and see where it goes?” 

“Of course, yeah, that sounds good,” Spencer agrees, he pushes up her shirt and she lifts her arms to help. Spencer has to stand up to pull it all the way off and then he looks down at her in her bra. “wow…” 

“Thanks,” she smirks, shaking her head as she reaches for his shirt to undo the buttons, “they’re just boobs…” 

“Just boobs,” he repeats with a small chuckle. “I’ll have you know everything about you is spectacular.” And with a rush of confidence, he cups both breasts with his hands, he runs his thumbs over where her nipples are hidden under the fabric and she has to bite her lip so she doesn’t moan. 

“Do you like that?” 

She nods and pushes his shirt off his shoulders until it's discarded on the floor. “Yeah. I don’t think you’ve ever noticed but… your hands… I watch them when you talk and when you’re tracing a page as you read really fast and you use two fingers instead of one and I’ve wanted you to touch me from the moment I saw you.”

“Mmm,” he turns her around and motions for her to get on the bed and she moves quickly, she’s resting her head on the pillows when he’s suddenly hovering over her. 

He runs his pointer finger from her chin, down her neck and between the crease of her breasts before cupping them both again and places kisses on her exposed chest. She arches into the contact and his hands follow both her arms until his fingers are interlocked with hers. Holding them over her head as he kisses her neck and shoulder. 

“So beautiful,” he whispers, “how’d I get so lucky?” 

“We have a great mutual friend, remember?” She teases,

He groans “Don’t mention her when I’m about to go down on you…” he says as he nibbles at her skin and it makes her moan, grinding her hips up against him, she wants him so bad but she still has her pants on. He sits on his knees between her spread legs and undoes the button as she lifts her hips, helping him glide them down her legs and off. He tosses them to the floor and goes right back in, gripping her by the hips he leans down and kisses her stomach… something she never thought any man would do. 

He wants her just as bad as she wants him and it’s prevalent in the way his eyes are blown out as he looks up at her, pleading with his eyes, all he says is “Can I?” And she nods. He pulls her underwear down and tosses them off only to lift one and kiss from her ankle and all the way up to her knee and then he dips in closer, smothering her inner thigh with kisses and nips and then he sucks a deep purple mark into her skin, lapping over it with his tongue before blowing on it softly. 

“Holy fuck,” she moans as he gets closer to her pussy and all she wants is his hands on her. 

Almost like he reads her mind, he moves to the other leg and hurries along until he’s kissing right along where her underwear used to meet her thigh. Then, he spreads her pussy and licks a broad stripe along her cunt. He presses a kiss to her clit next as she bucks her hips into the sensation, “Oh my god, Spence?” 

“Shh,” he whispers, looking up at her from between her legs like a man starved. “Just enjoy it, I’ve always wanted to do this.”

She’s so turned on from the teasing alone, and then he adds a finger, he gently circles it around her hole before inserting it slowly, seeing how much give she has before he takes it all. The feeling of his tongue on her is unlike anything she’s ever felt before, he’s soft yet rough and sweet yet disgusting with the noises he’s making. She can’t help reaching out and gripping his hair as her hips lift from the bed again. With only one free hand, he pushes her back down against the bed and she whines. When he adds a second finger, the stretch isn’t too much to handle, he’s so much better with his hands than she figured he’d be as he finger fucks her. His tongue on her clit and freehand trails from her hip up to grip her tit as he grinds against the mattress, he’s so into it she’s worried he might not get to really fuck her. 

“Spencer,” she pants, “holy fuck Spence, please, oh my god,” she can barely make it through the sentence when his fingers curl and her legs tremble.

“Cum for me,” he growls against her and her body listens as she jolts forward and she feels the rush flow through her bloodstream. 

“Oh!” she cups her breast and arches her back, oblivious to how he watches her while still lapping at her clit. 

When it gets to be too much for her, she grips his hair tighter and pulls him off, “fuck me, now… please?”

“Is it an order or a suggestion,” he teases as he kisses back up her body with his glistening and wet lips, “well?”

“Please?” She looks at him with the sweetest, most fucked out expression. “That was amazing, baby.” 

“Fuck,” he groans and drags himself off the bed so he can push his pants and boxers off in one fell swoop. Now, only in his mismatched socks, he doesn’t really have the time to take them off as he reaches for the abandoned box of condoms at the foot of her bed. 

She watches contently as he hastily rips it open and rolls it on before he gets back on the bed. He gets right back to where he was, between her legs, he places his hands on her knees and soothes them down her inner thighs, “you sure?”

She nods, “I’m ready.”

“Okay,” he says with a deep breath, readying himself in the meantime, he grips himself at the base and pushes the head into her, inch by inch, he watches as her mouth opens in a silent gasp. 

“My god…” he coos, “it’s like you were fuckin made for me.” 

She’s speechless, reading out for more of him, she’s desperate for his touch. Her hands land on his hips, his skin is so soft and warm and then they’re flush together. He bottoms out and stills, he drops down so that they’re chest to chest and she cups his face instead, “Hi…” 

“Hi,” he manages to laugh, holding himself up with one arm, his other hand pushes her hair back off her forehead and stays there. “I love you.” 

“I love you,” she says as she pulls him in for a kiss, tasting herself on his tongue, he collapses onto her and wraps his arm around her, angling her hips up as he starts to thrust. 

The kiss gets hungrier, and they moan into each other as he picks up the pace, really fucking her just like she asked him to. She has no idea where this side of him came from but she can’t explain how much she likes it, the hand that was once in her hair is now pushed into the pillow, bracing himself as he hovers and fucks her deeply.

She absentmindedly runs her hand along his forearm and takes his hands in hers, interlocking their fingers before he holds it over her head again and fucks into her with vigour. Her legs wrap around him, every trust grinds his pubic bone against her clit and she’s still so sensitive, she’s so incredibly close that all she can do is sloppily kiss him and moan into his mouth.

His hips snap faster and faster as he fucks her and she can’t hold back anymore when she tosses her head back and sucks him in more. “Oh my god,” and “Holy fuck,” is all she can say, making him smirk. 

He’s trying his hardest to keep his composure, breathing quickly, it’s the best workout he’s ever had trying to keep the pace and please her right. “I might,” he says between pants, “I might last a while… cause my meds—

“I don’t care,” she uses her free hand to cup his cheek again, “I want to stay here forever, holy shit.” 

“Yeah?” 

She tosses her head back again, “Oh my god, yeah!” 

He just laughs and it’s the sexiest thing she’s ever heard. She’s right there at the edge when he retrieves his hand from behind her back and rubs his thumb over her clit, “you can cum, if you want.” 

“No, no, it’s fine,” she says, running her hand down his chest and looking between them to see what he’s doing, “I want to finish with you.” 

His grip on the hand she’s holding gets tighter, he’s sweaty and losing stamina and nowhere close to being done. “Do you want to switch positions?” She asks, “It’s okay?” 

“Can we?” He slows to a stop, “you’re okay with that?” 

“Spence, I love you,” she reminds him, “It’s fine, it’s better than fine, actually… I’ve heard all my friends talk about dudes who last 5 seconds, this is more than I ever expected.” 

“I’m just anxious, you can see why I take them,” he gets all blushy and bashful as he lets go of her hand, pulls out and sits back up on his knees. 

She sits up too, taking her bra off in the process. She tosses it to the floor and his jaw drops when he sees her naked chest, “fuck..” He mumbles under his breath. 

“Here, you sit up against the headboard,” she suggests, moving out of the way so he can take her place. 

Once he’s settled she straddles his hips and takes his cock in her hand, angling it toward her entering as she sits upon it. Once he’s fully inside she drapes her arms around his shoulders and smiles at him, “We can do it this way… now you’ve got a face full of tits.” 

His hands soothe down her bare back down to her hips, he licks his lips as he looks at them and helps her glide her body against his. “My god,” he all but moans, watching her boobs jiggle as she starts to really ride him. 

“You’re so deep,” she moans, tossing her head back again to free up her neck, he pulls her in and kisses her from her shoulder up to her ear, lighting sucking at her earlobe, he brings his hand up to cup her cheek and ends up gripping her hair at the nape of her neck and pulling her to the side so he can messily smother her in kisses. “No marks, I have teenagers to teach, ‘member? They’re fucking ruthless.” 

“Mhm,” he mumbles, too into it to really care, his other hand reaches down to thumb at her clit, he’s getting close and she wants to finish with him. 

He finally does cup her face with the hand that was just in her hair, he caresses her cheek with his thumb, pulling her back in for a kiss that’s all tongue. She moans into his mouth, running her hands down his chest, she uses his as leverage to keep pushing back before grinding down on him, he’s right against her g-spot and so fucking deep she can feel him everywhere, “Spence,” she whines, pulling back from the kiss, “are you close?” 

“Uh-huh,” he pulls her back in, kissing her deeper, he wraps both his arms around her back and lifts her up, laying her back against the bed and slams his hips into hers over and over. 

Her back arches again and she opens her mouth in a silent moan, it’s so good she can barely breathe. She reaches out for him, gripping his biceps, he attacks her neck again, covering her in sloppy kisses and hot breath. His pelvic bone grinds against her clit, again and again, bringing her right to the edge again until she finally peaks, moaning, she arches her back as her orgasm rushes through her but he doesn’t stop. He fucks her through it, chasing his own high. 

“Fuck, I love you, I love you so much,” he mumbles, through his last few thrusts, and then he stills with a groan, filling the condom, he drops down against her. 

they’re a ball of limbs, holding each other so close she doesn’t know where she ends and he begins. He buries his face in her neck, still kissing her, she holds him tighter, “I love you so much, too, Spencer.” 

taglist:

@reidsbookclub @samuel-de-champagne-problems @superskittles @thedancingcostumeyoungadult @midnightreids @ncsls0515 @stevesmunsons @sweetyyhippyy @manuosorioh @mrs-dr-reid @k-k0129

[corroded-hellfire]

You Belong With Me - Eddie Munson x Reader

Summary: modern!au. Eddie is dating Chrissy, but she’s making him miserable. What would it take for him to notice that he’d be better off with you? Based on the Taylor Swift song.

Note: Oh, so many thoughts about this one. I’ve never been a big fan of song fics, but this song just screamed this dynamic at me and wouldn’t let me rest until I wrote it. And it physically hurt me to write Chrissy as the “bad guy” because I just adore her and Grace so much. But for the fic, it had to be done. Lastly, I literally stayed up all night to write this so I apologize if my sleeplessness caused any more errors than usual.

Warnings: modern!au, language, sex jokes, mention of gun, I think that’s it?

Words: 8.7k

“But that’s not what I meant. No, no, I- Babe, it was a joke. It wasn’t about you! You know I don’t like basketball game- Yes, I’m coming. Of course. I’m sorry, okay? Like I said, it was a joke- Okay. Yeah, okay. I’ll see you there. Okay. Bye.”

Eddie tosses his phone down on your bed and rubs his hands over his face. You sit up near your pillows, wincing through the whole phone call. Eddie getting frustrated like this was becoming far too common for your liking.

“You okay, Eds?” He isn’t, but you’re not sure if he’ll want to talk about it or not.

“Fine,” he says. He has to know you don’t believe him, but he also knows you won’t push him. He climbs on your bed, leaning against your footboard.

“I made a stupid joke,” he says. “I said something about watching a basketball game being like watching a goldfish swim around in its bowl. You’re just looking back and forth at the same thing the whole time!”

It’s not the appropriate time, but you can’t help but laugh. “It’s true, though.”

“Thank you!” he says. “It was a dumb joke but somehow Chrissy took that as me saying I hated going to see her cheer. Is it my favorite thing to do? No. But I do it because she’s my girlfriend.”

You nod your head at him, not sure what you could say. There are a million things you want to say. Break up with her. She’s not good enough for you. I’ve been in love with you for years, you doofus. But none of that would help him. It’d only stress him out even more, which was the last thing you wanted to do.

“I swear, the only saving grace at those God-awful games is that you’re there with me. If I didn’t have you to make snide comments with, I don’t think I’d be able to stomach it,” he says.

It should make you feel better, you think. But in reality, it just makes you want to smack him on the back of the head and say, “then what does that tell you, dumbass? Spending time with me is better!”

“We’re going to the game tonight, I’m assuming,” you say. It’s a Tuesday so there wasn’t a Hellfire meeting, which was the only acceptable reason, according to Chrissy, that Eddie could miss a game. Even those, she wasn’t thrilled he skipped games for.

“Don’t have much of a choice,” Eddie mumbles, picking at his rings. He looks up and meets your eyes. “I mean, you do, though. You don’t have to come with me.”

And make him do this alone? You couldn’t. Even if you had to sit there and pretend not to see Eddie watching Chrissy, or just pretend to not see Chrissy in general. It was never a choice for you if there was an opportunity to spend it with Eddie. You’d stand blindly by his side, supporting him however you could.

“You can’t get rid of me that easy,” you tell him.

He smiles and tosses one of your stuffed bears at you. “Like I’d ever want to get rid of you.”

Looking into his eyes suddenly makes you feel like you could cry, so you jump off your bed and head over to your Bluetooth speaker.

“What do you say? Some Ozzy?” you ask.

Eddie groans and drops his head forward. “God, I wish I could stay and listen. I’ve got two deals before the game tonight, though. I’ve gotta head out.”

You pout and press play on the machine anyway. Ozzy Osborne was not what was queued up next, however. The acoustics of a Taylor Swift song start to play into the space of your bedroom.

Eddie groans again, louder this time. You stop the music and start to skip through the shuffled playlist.

“I am so tired of pop songs. It seems like that’s all that’s playing in my car lately and it’s driving me up the wall. I can listen to it sometimes, but God forbid we listen to any of my music as I’m driving around with her.”

Your pout grows as you keep your back to Eddie. You never know what to say to him when he complains about Chrissy. He wanted to date her so badly that you didn’t think anything could hurt you worse. But seeing the way she treats him? That beat all.

“I thought you didn’t even like Taylor Swift,” Eddie says. It just shows how much Chrissy must be making him listen to pop if he recognized the song by the opening chords.

“I like some of her songs,” you say, turning to face him. “Sometimes it feels like she took a page out of my diary and wrote a song about it. I love Metallica and Black Sabbath dearly, but that is something they just don’t do.”

Eddie stands up off your bed and grabs his leather jacket. He smirks at you as he slips it on. “So, what you’re saying is, Taylor Swift understands you?”

You roll your eyes at him and plop back down on your bed. “Yes, Eddie. That’s exactly what I’m saying. The pretty, millionaire singer, that’s dated all of the hottest guys in Hollywood totally gets me.”

“You sing,” Eddie says with a shrug. “In fact, I wish you did it more. How many times have I begged you to come sing with the band again?”

“It was once, I was drunk, and I’m still grateful that I don’t remember all of it,” you say.

“You were good. I’m not just saying that as your best friend, I’m saying it as a musician. You never sing around me. Why are you embarrassed to?”

The teddy bear in your lap is easier to look at than Eddie. “M’not embarrassed.”

“Oh yeah? Then why not in front of me at least? You’ve seen me puking my guts out and have taken care of me after a hangover, but you’re too shy to sing in front of me?”

“To be fair,” you say, eyes now finding Eddie’s, “you have also seen me puke and taken care of me when I had a hangover.”

“Yet I still sing in front of you.” When you don’t say anything, Eddie starts to get annoyed. “You know, I told Dustin that I wished you’d sing more, and he seemed confused because apparently you sing all the time around him.”

“That’s different!”

“How?” Now he sounds like he’s starting to get mad and it’s the last thing you want. Chrissy had already worked him up and you didn’t want to make it worse.

“You know, Dustin is always singing songs from movies and stuff. You’ve seen him and I singing Suddenly, Seymour from Little Shop of Horrors together. See? I’m not embarrassed in front of you.”

“Yeah, but you were also putting on that squeaky voice the woman has in the movie.” He sighs and takes a few steps towards your bed. “I’m sorry. I’m not trying to make you uncomfortable. I just like it when you sing.”

You look up at him and give him a small smile. “I like when you sing, too.”

“We’ll go to a karaoke club soon then,” he says with a smirk, and you’re not sure if he’s teasing or not. He presses a kiss to the top of your head. “I’ll come by in a few hours to pick you up?”

“Mhmm.” He heads out of your room, but you call out for him before he can fully leave. “Eddie! Can you hit play for me? I think I got the right song up now.”

Eddie clicks the button on your Bluetooth speaker and Crazy Train starts playing, Ozzy’s maniacal laugh haunting your bedroom.

“Much better,” Eddie says over his shoulder as he walks out of your room.

After dinner with your parents, you head back up to your room. Your mom and dad assume it’s to finish your homework, but you’d finished that a little after Eddie left. Instead, you pull up your metal-only playlist and let it run on shuffle. The synthetic voice comes over your Bluetooth speaker.

“I am iron man.”

This song instantly has you reaching to turn the volume up. Black Sabbath’s iconic sound rings through your room and you jump on top of your bed. You head-bang to the opening notes, feeling more pumped up by the second. You spin around, scooping up your hairbrush from your nightstand to use as a makeshift microphone.

“Has he lost his mind? Can he see or is he blind? Can he walk at all? Or if he moves, will he fall?”

You fall to your knees on the mattress, openly air-guitaring as you sing along.

“Is he alive or dead? Has he thoughts within his head? We'll just pass him there, why should we even care?”

There’s a new voice joining in with yours this time. You slowly turn around and move the hair out of the way that’s covering your face from all your whipping it about. Eddie leans against your doorframe, arms crossed against his chest, and the biggest smile on his face that you think you’ve ever seen. You hadn’t realized how long it’s been since you’ve seen him smile like that. Months? At least.

“Enjoy the show?” you ask as you hop down from your bed.

“Very much,” he says. “Don’t stop on my account.”

You give him a playful glare as you walk over to your mirror. You use your hairbrush/pseudo microphone to get your hair out of your face and looking somewhat presentable.

“How’d the deals go?” you ask as you grab your sneakers.

“Fine. Two usuals so it was quick and painless,” he tells you as you lace up your converse.

Unlike this basketball game will be, you think to yourself.

“Save any for us to use tomorrow?”

“Well, duh. But we’ll have to go somewhere to smoke it. Wayne’s got an old army buddy coming over for dinner,” Eddie says.

“The park?” You take a look at yourself in the mirror and adjust your Iron Maiden shirt. Steve once told you that you should wear school colors to a game. You told him to find you a band t-shirt that had the God-awful orange and green of the basketball uniforms and you would.

“Park sounds good to me,” Eddie says. He pulls on your arm to yank you away from the mirror. “You look perfect, let’s go.”

Your face flushes as you follow Eddie out of your room. Both of you wave to your parents in the living room before heading outside. Climbing into Eddie’s van is second nature at this point, and you make yourself comfortable by putting your sneakered feet up on the dashboard.

Eddie starts the car and Metallica begins blaring through the air. You drum on your knees as Eddie makes the short drive to Hawkins High. Hopefully, Lucas will play tonight. Since he’s been getting better, the coach has been putting him in more. It was great to see his confidence grow.

The parking lot in front of the school is almost as crowded as it would be if school was in session. Eddie slips the van into one of the few empty spots and you both get out. The murmuring from the gym could be heard out in the parking lot. Was this an important game? Was our team doing well this year? You had no idea. You came to most, if not all, of the games, but you hardly paid attention to any of it.

The sounds of the crowd talking loudly to one another, the squeaking of sneakers on the shiny floor, and the cacophony of instruments tuning up in the band section of the bleachers smack you in the face as Eddie opens the gym door for you. You nod to him in thanks before slipping inside. He follows behind you and you wave to Nancy who is on the sidelines with other students from the school paper.

Robin waves and gives you a big smile when you walk past the school band. You blow her a kiss, and she pretends to catch it. In the middle of the bleachers there’s a small gap where you and Eddie could fit. When you get closer to it, you can see it’s empty because Max, Dustin, and Mike have their feet there; their attempt at saving the seat for you guys.

“Finally,” Dustin says. “Thought someone was gonna sit on my feet any second.”

“You better move them quick then,” Eddie says. He moves to sit on the boy’s feet and all three of them bring their legs back to themselves.

From where you’re sitting, the cheerleaders are straight ahead. They’re in your direct line of vision and you get the feeling that your neck is going to be sore tomorrow because you’ll probably spend most of the game looking and talking to Max behind you.

Eddie raises his hand to wave, and you leave your eyes in your lap. You don’t need to see her pretty smile or her bright eyes. Her hair that was never out of place. You reach up to smooth over your own hair self-consciously.

“Stop,” Max says. She’s leaned in towards you so she can whisper in your ear. “Your hair is fine. You look great. And you know he’s going to spend more time talking to you than paying attention to her during the game anyway.”

With a sigh, you turn your head to give her a small smile. She reaches forward and squeezes your shoulder. Your girls knew how you felt about Eddie. With Nancy and Max, they said they had known before you even told them. The pair of them thought it was incredibly obvious to anyone who was paying attention, while Robin was shocked when you told her.

A whistle blows, signaling the start of the game. Your eyes scan the white jerseys moving around the court and on the sidelines. Number eight is standing on the side, hands on his hips and swaying from side to side. From the back, Lucas looks tense and nervous. Maybe this was a big game.

The cheerleaders began with their cheers, the sounds of pompoms crashing against each other catching on the air. Eddie watched the first few cheers before he turned to you.

“I’m already over it,” he says.

“Let me know when Lucas gets out on the court and I’ll care,” you answer him.

“Hey,” Dustin says, popping his head in between yours and Eddie’s. “You hear about the contest down at the bar?”

“What contest?” Eddie asks.

“What bar?” you ask.

Mike breaks his eyes away from the court to join the conversation. “The karaoke bar over by the grocery store.”

“They’re having like, a talent show - karaoke version - or something. I think you win $500,” Dustin says.

“When is it?” Eddie asks. He loved singing in front of people, and if he could win some money in the process, why not?

“Friday, you losers,” Max says, looking at Dustin and Mike. “You seriously didn’t notice that it’s the same night as Hellfire? The end of your campaign?”

“Shit,” Dustin says.

“Damn, that would’ve been fun,” Eddie says. “That’s a pretty big place, too. Nice sized audience.”

“Get up during halftime and sing to this crowd then,” you joke to Eddie.

“Oh God, don’t put that in his head. He’ll do it,” Mike says.

“These people wouldn’t know good music if I blared it in their ears,” Eddie says as he looks around the bleachers. “Ah, look. Harrington with another date. Who’s that one?”

Both you and Max crane your necks to try and see who Steve is with. He’s a few rows higher than you and closer to the band.

“Heidi?” Max asks.

“I don’t think so. Steve said he wouldn’t go on another date with her. Plus, Heidi’s hair is lighter than that,” you say.

Steve catches you and Max looking at him and mimes putting a gun to his head and pulling the trigger. Max rolls her eyes while you let out a laugh.

“Poor Steve,” you say. “All these girls just aren’t right for him.”

“I keep telling him that he’s gotta figure out what he wants but he never listens to me,” Dustin says.

“Does he listen to anyone?” Max asks.

“Robin, maybe,” you add.

“Has he ever asked you on a date?” Eddie asks you. You furrow your brow in confusion. Why was he asking this? Just curiosity?

“No,” you say. “We’re friends.”

Eddie shrugs. “Sometimes that’s the best thing to be before becoming something more.”

You take a deep breath and feel your stomach clenching.

“I’ve got to use the bathroom,” you say. You stand up and Max stands behind you.

“I’ll come with you,” she says.

The two of you walk out of the gymnasium and into the quiet school hallway. Max stays quiet until she confirms there aren’t any other girls in the bathroom.

“You’re entering that contest,” Max says.

“What?”

“Find a song that expresses what you’re feeling and let it out on stage. You’re good. Good enough to win. And you know the guys won’t see because they’ll be playing DND.”

“I don’t know, Max.” You lean against the sinks and Max leans next to you.

“Oh, come on. You’re telling me a song about wanting someone who you can’t have comes on the radio while you’re driving, and you don’t angry belt it out?” Max asks.

“Yeah, alone in my car,” you say.

“And it’s cathartic, right?”

“I guess.” You shrug and avoid Max’s eyes because you know what’s coming next.

“If that feels good, imagine getting all those emotions and feelings out on stage,” Max says. “I already signed you up.”

You sigh and rub your hands over your face. It makes sense and you hate it. Music has always been your way of expressing yourself. Maybe doing this would help you release some of your anger and sadness.

“Fine,” you finally concede.

“Yes!” Max says. “We’ll bring Nancy and Robin and it’ll be great.”

“No one tells the guys about this, though,” you say. “I don’t need any of the headache that would come with that.”

“My lips are sealed,” Max says.

 After the game, in which Lucas made the game winning shot, friends and family mingled with the players and cheerleaders. You would’ve gone with the others to talk to Lucas if Eddie hadn’t all but steered you in the direction of Chrissy. His hand was on the small of your back and you’d let him lead you anywhere like that. Even here.

“Eddie!” Chrissy calls. She runs forward and wraps her arms around his neck. He wraps his around her small waist and lifts her up, her short skirt riding up her ass. You divert your eyes from the pair of them, scanning the rest of the crowd for your friends.

“You were great,” Eddie is telling her. “And you looked so hot.”

Your fists clench and your fingernails are digging hard enough into your palms to draw blood.

“Like you even watched me,” Chrissy says with a laugh. “I saw you talking the whole time.”

Eddie frowns and his brows pinch together. “I did watch you.”

“Okay,” she says as she gives him a pat on the arm. It’s the condescending tone that’s dripping from her voice that makes you speak up.

“He pointed out to us in the third period when you did the new cheer. The one you came up with when you became cheer captain,” you say. You bite back from adding, “So, see? He pays attention to you even though you’re horrible to him and he deserves far better than you could ever be.”

Chrissy turns, looking at you as if she just noticed you were there. “Oh, hi.”

“Hi,” you respond, trying to keep the venom in your voice to a minimum.

She turns back to Eddie and wraps her arms around his neck. “I’m hungry. Can we go get pizza?”

Eddie glances at you out of the corner of his eye before looking back at her. “Uh, I hadn’t planned on that. I was going to give y/n a ride home.”

Chrissy pouts and it doesn’t suit her. Her lip goes too far out and her eyes scrunch in a way that looks more painful than sad.

“But I hardly got to see you today. Can’t she get a ride with someone else?” Chrissy asks.

“Don’t talk about her as if she’s not here,” Eddie says, pulling back from her a little. Her pout turns to a glare as she looks at him.

“It’s fine,” you say, taking a few steps back. You didn’t want to make this worse for Eddie and you certainly didn’t want to be stuck in the van with the two of them.

“But…” Eddie trails off.

“It’s okay,” you say, though your heart is telling you the opposite. “Go get pizza.”

He frowns deeper but nods his head. “I’ll see you tomorrow?”

“I’ll be here.” You give him a small smile before disappearing into the crowd.

Hopefully, Steve didn’t drive his date here and she had her own way home. You look through the mass of bodies for the familiar head of brown hair but come up empty. You don’t see a baseball cap with curls spilling out of it or a redhead either.

With a sigh, you walk to the doors. You head out into the dark evening, the stars and moon shining bright down on Hawkins this night. Most of the parking lot has cleared out and you don’t see a car you recognize other than the big brown van that used to bring you so much comfort.

Home is only six miles away, so you decide to walk. It’s a chilly night and you wrap your arms around yourself, hands rubbing up and down your arms that are bare in your t-shirt. You’ve made the walk before and you estimate it will take you about two hours. Thankful that you wore your most comfortable sneakers, you head up the hill and off school property.

The streets are quiet and dark, which unsettles you. Weird things happen in Hawkins all the time and you’d wager this is how a lot of them started. After walking two miles, a total of three cars have passed you by. You were almost more afraid when you saw the cars coming towards you rather than walking alone in the darkness.

You hear a car coming from behind and you take a step closer to the tree line and out of the road since the driver probably can’t see you.

“Y/n?”

You look back and Robin is hanging out the passenger window of Steve’s car.

“What are you doing?” she asks.

“Walking home,” you say as if it was a normal occurrence. Maybe if you act as if this wasn’t that big of a deal, they’d believe it.

“In the dark? Alone? At night? Are you insane?” Robin says. The driver door opens and Steve steps out. He walks over to you and looks at you in concern.

“Are you okay?” he asks.

“I’m fine.”

“Where’s Eddie?”

“He, um. Well, Chrissy wanted pizza. So, I said I’d get another ride, but I couldn’t find one. And home isn’t too far.” You shrug, not meeting his eyes.

Steve rests his hands on his hips and sighs. His typical mom stance.

“Come on. I’ll drive you home. You’re going to have to pile in though.” He doesn’t give you a chance to argue, wrapping an arm around you and guiding you to the car. “Jesus, you’re freezing. You know, you could’ve called me. Or Robin or Max or Dustin or Mike.”

Steve opens the back door, and the three younger faces look back at you. Max scoots over until she’s sitting on Dustin’s lap.

“I don’t know how I feel about this,” Dustin says. He raises his arms in the air so he isn’t touching Max at all.

You slide in and Steve closes the door behind you. Dustin refuses to look at anyone, cheeks flushing. You can’t help the small smile on your face as you tug Max over to sit on your lap instead. She settles easily enough and rests her head against the window.

The car smells like fried food and you find out why when Mike holds a bag out in front of you.

“Burger? Fries?” he offers. “Or…” he rummages around in bags between his feet. “Onion rings.”

“Toss one,” you tell him. He smiles as you open your mouth and tries to throw the fried onion inside. Surprisingly, he makes it, which makes the four of you in the back cheer.

Robin gets dropped off first, her living the closest to school. She grabs her band hat and trumpet out of the trunk and waves before she disappears inside her house. Dustin takes the opportunity to jump into the front seat. Technically, Max should’ve been the next one dropped off, but Steve kept driving straight past the trailer park. Max didn’t say a word, knowing why Steve was avoiding the neighborhood for now.

“Why didn’t Nancy drive you home?” you ask Mike as Steve pulls into the Wheeler driveway.

“Because she’s a priss and has to stay late to work on the stupid paper,” he says.

“Hey!” Both you and Steve yell at the same time as he scrambles out of the car.

“You try living with her,” he says before waving his hand in a goodbye.

Your house is next, and you sag in relief when it comes into view. You hadn’t been expecting to see it for at least another hour at the rate you were walking before.

“Thanks for the ride, Steve,” you say. “I really appreciate it.”

“Anytime that idiot leaves you high and dry just call me,” Steve says, looking at you in the rear-view mirror. You smile to yourself, thinking this must be what it’s like to have a big brother. You now understand why the kids all gravitated towards him.

“Thanks,” you repeat as you get out of the car. “I’ll see you guys tomorrow,” you say to Max and Dustin. They wave as you head up to your door.

 School the next day is weird. People are excited because the basketball team won; so, the halls were buzzing with that energy. But most people were tired as well, having stayed up later than usual to come to the game. It all gives you a nice cover for how you’re feeling. You feel sluggish and irritated. Though you can’t put your finger on the exact reason why, you knew the people it could be blamed on.

Eddie leans up against the locker next to yours between second and third period as you’re exchanging your books out.

“You didn’t text me last night,” he says.

“What?” you ask, not looking at him.

“When you got home. You didn’t text me to let me know you got home okay.”

“You didn’t ask me to,” you point out.

He frowns. “I didn’t think I had to. It’s just kind of something we do.”

“Well, sorry, I guess.” You close your locker and turn to him. “Was there something else?”

“Are you mad at me?” he asks. His big puppy dog eyes are shining and it’s truly your damn kryptonite.

You take a deep breath. “No.” You don’t know if that’s really true or not, though.

“You’re sure?” Eddie raises his eyebrows at you.

“I’m sure,” you lie.

“Are we still on for the park later?” he asks, hope glimmering in his eyes.

“Of course,” you say, eager to see him relax.

“Perfect. I’ve got everything in my backpack already to go.” The weed, he means. You can’t think of a better day to get high than today.  

 School simultaneously drags on and ends too quickly. Chrissy has cheer practice, so you don’t have to deal with her while you walk to Eddie’s van. Once inside, he cranks Sweet Child O’ Mine because he knows it’s one of your favorites. When you don’t hum along or even tap your foot along to the beat, he knows something is up.

He parks the van across the street from the park and grabs his backpack.

“Ready?” he asks.

You nod in affirmation and hop out. The two of you walk down the street to the crosswalk. Normally you’d just jay-walk to cross the street, but this intersection was notorious for pedestrian injuries. When you get your signal that it’s okay to cross, Eddie trips and you hear the ripping of material. You look down and see he’s ripped his own jeans by stepping on the hem of them while walking. The tear that was at his knee has now tripled in size and he could easily stick his whole leg through it. You giggle to yourself, and Eddie breathes a sigh of relief at the sound.

The two of you find your usual bench at the park and claim it. It’s hidden by a copse of trees so it’s easier to hide your illicit activities, but still allows you a good view of the park.

Eddie pulls out the two joints he’d rolled and lights one before handing it to you. Though you were used to the sickeningly bitter odor, it didn’t mean you liked it. You wrinkle your nose before raising the bud to your lips. You inhale, letting the burn curl down your throat and into your lungs. You were pretty good at not coughing by now. The first few times you’d ended up in total tears because of the intense hacking.

Eddie takes a hit of his own joint and rests his head against the back of the bench, blowing smoke straight up towards the sky. He closes his eyes and you take the time to admire him. He’d forgone the denim vest today and just settled on his leather jacket over his hellfire shirt. Hints of stubble were starting to appear on his chin and his lips were a little chapped. His long, dark eyelashes kiss his cheeks as his eyes move under his closed lids. He’s so beautiful it physically aches you.

He opens his eyes and turns his head to smile at you. It’s a real Eddie smile and it warms your heart. It’s so rare these days but it’s so bright it could rival the moon at night.

“What’re you thinking about?” he asks.

“The moon,” you say.

Eddie chuckles and takes another hit. “Oh yeah?” He releases the smoke. “What about it?”

“It’s so bright. But you only notice the brightness at night.” You came up with it off the top of your head, but it sounded good to you. You raise your joint to your mouth for another puff.

“Like some people I guess,” Eddie says. He doesn’t sound like he’s finished talking so you wait. “Sometimes you don’t see how amazing some people are until everything else around you dims, but they don’t. They’re still there bright and shining.”

It could be that he’s having a profound thought about his life, or the pot is kicking in, so you can’t be sure.

“I want to go to the moon,” you say. Eddie laughs and you can tell both of you are feeling the effects now.

His laugh is infectious and causes you to start laughing as well. You curl in on yourself, abdominal muscles starting to cramp, and you slide to the side to lay across Eddie’s lap.

“Eds?” you ask, eyes staring up at the clouds above.

“Mm?”

“I miss you.”

He frowns down at you and pokes your forehead with his ringed index finger.

“I’m right here, silly head.”

“I know,” you say.

“I like when we talk,” Eddie says. His head is moving all around, taking in all the sights in the park around you. There are a few squirrels scampering up the tree closest to you. Birds sing in the distance and the laughter of kids comes from the playground a few hundred feet away.

“I like it too,” you say. “It’s so easy to talk to you.”

“Always has been. Since we met.”

“You’re my favorite person,” you tell him.

He grins and drops his head down to look at you. “More than Timothée Chalamet?”

“Mhmm,” you hum in confirmation.

“Wow,” Eddie says with a laugh. “That’s saying something.”

The two of you decide to lay in the grass as you let the pot work through your system. Eddie won’t be able to drive for a while anyway, so you take advantage of the nice day.

“I had a weird dream last night,” Eddie says.

“Yeah? Tell me.”

“I was playing at The Hideout. But when I looked down, I was playing the wrong guitar. It was a nice guitar. It was gold and smooth and sounded beautiful. But it wasn’t my guitar. I put the gold guitar down and tried to find mine. I started freaking out because I thought I lost it. I looked everywhere and couldn’t find it.”

“Did you find it?” you ask.

“I did. But some guy was playing it and it made me so mad.”

“What guy?” You let your heavy eyes droop closed.

“M’not sure. He didn’t look familiar. Could’ve been anyone, I guess. But he was playing my guitar and I wanted it back. But he said I was too late. And it made me really really sad.”

You frown and reach over to take Eddie’s hand in yours. “It’s okay, Eddie. No one is going to take your guitar away. Why would it want to leave you?”

 The high lasted a few hours and by the time Eddie got you home for dinner, the munchie effect was still going strong. You devoured the lasagna your mom put down in front of you. The bloodshot look had faded from your eyes, so you were just hoping your parents thought you were extra hungry today for some reason.

 You should’ve gone to sleep hours ago. It would’ve been easy; you always slept better on days when you got high with Eddie. But you still hadn’t picked a song to sing at the karaoke competition. Your head was in the middle of your bed, and you rested your legs up against the wall over your headboard. You scroll and scroll through playlists, trying to find a song that expresses what you’ve been feeling.

The sound of brakes squeaking makes you move your legs down and sit up on your bed. Your phone tells you that it’s 3:17am. You walk over to your window and see Eddie walking around the side of your house. You frown at him, and he notices you up in your window. You point towards the back door and Eddie nods.

Eddie would sometimes come by in the middle of the night, but he’d usually text first. You creep down the stairs as quietly as you can, avoiding any creaks. Your cat picks his head up from where he’s sleeping on the top of the couch to see what you’re up to. He decides he doesn’t care though and adjusts himself into a new comfortable position to fall back asleep.

Luckily, your dad had fixed it so the back door didn’t stick anymore when you tried to open it. It glides open silently and Eddie steps inside.

“What’s wrong? Are you okay?” you whisper to him.

He nods but he won’t meet your eyes. You frown and take his hand in yours. As you walk back past your cat, he picks his head up again and deems Eddie worthy of his affection. Eddie scratches his head two times before following you up the stairs.

You pull him into your room and quietly close the door behind you.

“What’s up?” you ask him.

He shrugs and sits on the edge of your bed. “Didn’t want to be alone.”

The sheets are messy, and you crawl on top of them, making yourself comfortable against the mountain of pillows against your headboard. Eddie glances back before leaning backwards so his head ends up in your lap. You start to play with his hair. You haven’t done this in a while, and it warms your heart. His eyes drift closed, and you think he’s fallen asleep until he quietly kicks his boots off so he can pull his legs up on the bed as well.

“Do you want to talk about it?” you ask.

He opens his eyes and stares at your ceiling. “I feel confused.”

“About what?”

“That’s the thing. Everything.”

You frown and trace your pinky finger along one of his curls. “Elaborate?”

“I don’t know how,” he says. “Feel like everything is upside down. I feel like I want things to go back to normal, but I don’t know what’s changed to make me think things aren’t normal. Am I making sense?”

“Sort of,” you say.

His eyes begin to water, and it breaks your heart. You’d give anything to be able to fix what’s wrong, but he doesn’t seem to know.

“Where do I belong?” he asks.

“Here,” you say without hesitation. “Here with me and your uncle and Dustin and all your friends. Here with your favorite guitar and your band and your loud as all hell van.”

That makes him chuckle and your heart feels ten pounds lighter. He takes a deep breath and closes his eyes again.

“Did you miss something on that list? Or someone?” he asks.

“I don’t know,” you say carefully. “Did I?”

He licks over his lips before answering. “I don’t believe you did. I think that was a pretty complete list. Doesn’t need anyone else.”

“No?” you ask.

He opens his eyes and shakes his head. “She reamed me out for an hour before because I hadn’t bought prom tickets yet.”

“I didn’t even know they were on sale,” you say. You’re trying to keep your voice calm for him, but it’s proving difficult.

“Neither did I,” he says. “But she goes on and on about how she already bought her dress and the, and I’m quoting here, ‘the prettiest high heels in the world.’”

“Shouldn’t she have waited until, you know…at least until you asked?”

“Right?” he huffs out. He runs his hands over his face, and you start to play with the small curls along his forehead. “I’ve got to end it.”

“I think so,” you say in a small voice.

He tilts his head up so he can look at you. “Friday, yeah? Tomorrow I’ve got a test, so I don’t want the stress added to that. I need to pass this class.”

“Biology again?” you ask. “I thought you were doing better.”

“I am, but I won’t if I bomb this test.”

“You should probably get some sleep then.” You almost said “go home and get some sleep” but that’s not what you really want. He nods and goes to sit up, but you catch his arm.

“Here?” he asks.

You shrug and slide yourself under the covers. “Why not? I don’t have cooties. I got the shot.”

He smiles and shrugs out of his leather jacket before sliding in the bed next to you. Your heart races as his head lays on the pillow next to yours, noses almost touching.

“Goodnight,” he whispers.

“Goodnight.”

 On Friday, you only get to see Eddie between second and third period at your locker. His plan is to have lunch with Chrissy outside and break up with her then. Your paths don’t cross after lunch, and he has Hellfire and you’re meeting with the girls to get ready for the karaoke contest right after school. Your stomach will be in knots until you find out how it went.

Nancy dusts your eyelids with silver eyeshadow as you sit on your bed. Max and Robin go through your closet, deciding what you should wear tonight.

“No, that might be see-through under the lights.”

“What about this?”

“It clashes with the silver eyeshadow.”

“Any texts from Eddie?” Nancy asks quietly as she cleans up the edges.

“No,” you breathe out with a sigh. “But he’s never on his phone during Hellfire. I think that would be blasphemous in there.”

Nancy hums her agreement.

“We’ve got one!” Robin announces.

You open your eyes to see Max holding a royal blue dress that accentuates your curves and feels silky smooth against your skin. You wrinkle your nose at them.

“It doesn’t go,” you say.

“With what?” Max asks.

“My song!”

“Oh, you’re right,” Robin says.

“Fine, fine,” Max says. She puts the dress back in the closet and starts to dig through your drawers.

“I hope there are no sex toys in here,” Robin says as she joins Max.

You roll your eyes as Nancy touches up your eyeliner.

“Jeans,” Nancy says as she works. “She should wear jeans and a t-shirt.”

“That’s what she wears every day,” Robin says.

“Exactly,” you and Nancy say at the same time.

“Okay, fine,” Robin acquiesces. “But what one?”

“Iron Maiden?” Max asks as she picks one out of the drawer. “There’s also Guns ‘n Roses, Black Sabbath, Metallica. Geez, any from this century?”

“Corroded Coffin,” you say. Max looks at you and grins.

“Where is it?” she asks.

“Top drawer.”

Robin and Max pick out the best jeans to go with your favorite tee. Nancy tells you to get dressed before she fixes your hair. She doesn’t do much, just spray a little product in it and tussle it up.

“Perfect,” she says.

 You pace back and forth backstage. You’re not exactly nervous. Not about the singing, anyway. About letting your feelings channel through you in this way. It was a vulnerability you’d never shared before. Even if the audience just thought you’d picked this song because you liked it, you and your friends knew the truth.

The girl on stage now is singing Madonna and you take deep breaths to settle yourself.

 “Hey.”

Nancy jumps at the voice in her ear. She turns her head to see Eddie sliding into the seat next to her. Her eyes widen comically, and Eddie raises an eyebrow at her.

“I didn’t think I’d see you here either, but do I look like a ghost or something?”

“What are you doing here?” Robin demands from the other side of Nancy. Someone in the crowd shushes her, but she doesn’t care. “You’re supposed to be at Hellfire.”

Eddie shrugs with a devious smile and Dustin plops down in the seat on the other side of him.

“His stupid campaign wiped us out in the first half hour,” Dustin says. “We remembered this was happening, so we figured we’d catch the last half.”

Max’s leg bounces nervously on Robin’s other side and Eddie notices the motion.

“What’s wrong, Red?” She raises her eyebrows and shakes her head at him. “Wait, where’s y/n?” he asks.

Robin leans in to whisper in Max’s ear. “Do we have time to warn her?”

“No,” Max whispers back. “She’s up next.”

“Maybe she won’t see with all the lights,” Nancy leans over to add.

Robin groans and drops her head in her hands.

The girl wraps up singing Papa Don’t Preach and the audience claps politely. The manager steps out on the stage and reads from a clipboard.

“Next up we have y/n y/l/n.”

Eddie’s jaw drops before a huge smile forms on his face. He was going to get to hear you sing again. Finally.

You step onstage and Eddie’s taken aback. He didn’t expect an elaborate outfit or anything of the sort but seeing you in a Corroded Coffin shirt took him by surprise.

The music begins and the notes tickle his brain. He knows this song. He knows that he knows it because of Chrissy, even if he can’t place it. Why would you choose this song?

You grip the mic tightly in your grip and lift it to your mouth.

“You're on the phone with your girlfriend, she's upset. She's going off about something that you said, ‘cause she doesn't get your humor like I do.”

It’s Taylor Swift, Eddie recognizes. This confuses him even further. What was it you said about her music?

“I'm in the room, it's a typical Tuesday night. I'm listening to the kind of music she doesn't like, and she'll never know your story like I do.”

You feel your confidence picking up as you keep going. Looking at the audience doesn’t seem like a good idea, so you keep your eyes vague as they move across the open space in front of you. It feels good to have a microphone in your hand.

“But she wears short skirts, I wear T-shirts. She's Cheer Captain, and I'm on the bleachers. Dreaming about the day when you wake up and find that what you're looking for has been here the whole time.”

Eddie’s stunned to his seat. His jaw hangs open as he recalls what you said. It was like Taylor Swift took a page out of your diary and wrote a song about it. There was no mistaking what and who this song was about. Even for someone who knew how dense he could be at times.

“If you could see that I'm the one who understands you. Been here all along so, why can't you see? You belong with me. You belong with me.”

The grin that spreads across your face is freeing. You never knew being vulnerable could feel this good. You’re sharing your heart with the people in the audience and most of them have no idea.

“Walk in the streets with you in your worn-out jeans, I can't help thinking this is how it ought to be. Laughing on a park bench thinking to myself, ‘Hey, isn't this easy?’ And you've got a smile that can light up this whole town, I haven't seen it in a while since she brought you down. You say you're fine, I know you better than that. Hey, what you doing with a girl like that?”

All three of your friends in the audience are caught between watching you work the stage like you were born for it and looking over at Eddie to gauge his reaction. Nancy notices the way his hands are gripping the armrests and she doesn’t know what that means.

“She wears high heels, I wear sneakers. She's Cheer Captain, and I'm on the bleachers. Dreaming about the day when you wake up and find that what you're looking for has been here the whole time. If you could see that I'm the one who understands you, been here all along so, why can't you see? You belong with me.”

You catch a flash of red hair in the audience, and it widens your smile. So that’s where your friends are out there. You’ll have to get a good look at them when singing the next part.

“Standing by and waiting at your backdoor, all this time how could you not know, baby? You belong with me. You belong with me.”

There’s a small instrumental break and you take the opportunity to lower the mic and look at the row your friends are in. But your eyes catch a very familiar pair of brown ones and your veins ice over and your stomach bottoms out. Eddie’s staring at you with those eyes and they’re enough to make you melt on the spot without all the lights on you adding to the heat. You try not to let it break your stride on stage. Spinning on the sole of your shoe, you face the back of the stage to compose your face and take a deep breath. You continue. The show must go on.

“Oh, I remember you driving to my house in the middle of the night. I'm the one who makes you laugh when you know you're 'bout to cry. And I know your favorite songs, and you tell me 'bout your dreams. Think I know where you belong, think I know it's with me.”

You realize it’s all out in the open now. The Band-Aid has been ripped off and you might as well finish the song off strong. It’s easy to find Eddie’s eyes in the audience, wide as they are, and you keep eye contact as you sing the next part.

“Can't you see that I'm the one who understands you? Been here all along so, why can't you see? You belong with me.”

Eddie isn’t fully sure he’s awake. This has to be a dream, right? He’d pinch himself if he were able to move a muscle. Your eyes boring into his and baring your soul to him. There’s pressure on the back of his eyes and a fist clenching around his heart. How long have you been hurting over this?

“Standing by and waiting at your backdoor all this time how could you not know, baby? You belong with me. You belong with me.”

Adrenaline is coursing through your body and you’re already worried about what’s going to happen when it wears off. You wish the song wouldn’t end so you don’t have to leave the stage and deal with whatever comes after.

“You belong with me. Have you ever thought just maybe, you belong with me? You belong with me.”

The cheers and applause are white noise to you. There’s only one other person in the room and he hasn’t moved a muscle; not even on his shocked face.

You give the crowd the best smile you can before exiting the stage. You drop the mic on a table and find the most isolated corner of the backstage that you can. Resting your head against the wall and taking big, deep breaths is all you can focus on.

Hands land gently on your shoulders, but you still jump. You spin around quickly and come face to face with the one person you no longer knew how to talk to. His big brown eyes are wide and glassy. He’s never resembled a baby cow more than he does in this moment. His mouth keeps opening and closing, as if he wants to speak but doesn’t know what to say. That makes two of you.

“I didn’t know,” he finally says.

You close your eyes and nod. “I know. I didn’t want you to.”

Eddie shakes his head. “That’s not, um. That’s not what I meant.” He squeezes his eyes closed and licks over his lips. “I didn’t know. But she did.”

Your brow pinches in confusion and you shake your head. “I don’t understand.” The last thing you thought would be happening right now is Eddie trying to explain something to you.

“When I broke up with Chrissy.” Eddie sees the wince on your face at her name and it breaks his heart. How had he never noticed before? “She knew I loved you. She said she knew from day one. That’s why I didn’t text you right after I did it. I needed to think. About how true it was.”

“And?” The word barely squeaks out of you. Every nerve in your body was on edge, awaiting his response.

“After that?” Eddie gestures to the stage. “How could I have any doubt?”

His hand cups the back of your head gently and brings your mouth against his. His other hand snakes around your waist and your arms automatically come up to encircle his neck. It’s a gentle kiss, but it gets across all the emotions floating between the two of you. Relief, joy, love, excitement, fear, to name a few.

Eddie’s lips dance across yours again and again. You pull him closer, and he gets the hint, his tongue coming out to glide across your bottom lip. You happily part your lips for him.

“Y/n y/l/n….y/n y/l/n…y/n y/l/n?”

Eddie finally realizes your name is being called and pulls back from your lips. You whine and go to chase them, but Eddie chuckles and points towards the stage.

“Babe, I think you won,” he says.

You grin, never taking your eyes off him. You cup his jaw and lean in to press a soft kiss against his lips.

“Oh, I know I did.”

[onsunnyside]

🍁≬ 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐋𝐚𝐬𝐭 𝐓𝐢𝐦𝐞 (𝟏/𝟐)

𝗣𝗮𝗶𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗴 | photographer!Ari Levinson x reader

𝗪𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀 | glimpses of fluff, angst, old flames, childhood friends-to-loves aftermath, ex-boyfriend!Ari, size difference: 6’8!Ari.

𝗦𝘂𝗺𝗺𝗮𝗿𝘆 | Even the most beautiful love stories are bound to end in tragedy, but you thought you and Ari would be an exception.

𝗪/𝗖 | 3.64K

𝗔/𝗡 | currently in my sad autumn girl era but i know it won’t last long so i wanted to share this with you all. sort of poured my heart into it and wrote most of this in a teary haze last night. Inspired by Taylor Swift’s songs: Sad Beautiful Tragic, Exile, All Too Well, The Last Time. [𝐏𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐁𝐨𝐚𝐫𝐝 | all asks]. All mistakes are my own. 

˗ˏˋ𝐌𝐚𝐢𝐧 𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭ˎˊ˗ ⋰˚ 𝐂.𝐄. & 𝐂𝐨. 𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭

Don’t look, don’t look, you force your eyes on the television mounted above the table, half listening to the chatter of your friends and the hushed music playing from the speakers. 

A nudge brings your attention to your redheaded friend, “How have you been? You haven’t answered my texts.”

“Sorry, I’ve been working a lot.” The music shop didn’t get very busy, but Natasha didn’t need to know that you spent the past weeks buried in turmoil, revisiting every decision you’ve ever made that brought you here. “I also applied to the dance studio as an instructor, I’m still waiting for them to get back to me.” 

Her green gaze pools with worry. Of course, you’d answer a question about how you were with what you were doing. She hated to pry, but she cared for you like a sister. If you were hurting, she wanted to put a stop to it, or talk about it and try to understand. She couldn’t do that if you refused to open up.

“If you want to leave, that’s fine, I’ll walk you out.”

“I’m okay, Nat. I wouldn’t have come if I couldn’t handle seeing him again.” 

The both of you know that’s a bald-faced lie. Especially because you’ve done everything to not peek in his direction. 

Natasha is drawn away by one of your other close friends, and they fall into an easy conversation with laughs and bright smiles. Their voices fade into each other, a blissful hum filling the loneliness that has clung to you.

I wouldn’t have come if I couldn’t handle seeing him again.

You spoke too soon. 

Ever so slightly, you glance at the bar. Over the heads of the other patrons, his gaze meets yours. Deep blue, unreadable and sharp, piercing heavily through your face. 

Seeing him now, he’s different. His hair is longer, his beard is thicker, and he’s dressed in clothes you’ve never seen before—apart from his signature leather jacket that he wore for most of the year. 

You wonder if the way he carries himself all the same, with quiet grace and self-assurance, too often falling victim to his insecurities. 

You missed him. 

You missed his stupidly loud alarm clock, his cute bedhead and how he never failed to keep you warm on winter nights. You missed his endless rants about society, space and the world, past, present and future. His mind stretched into infinity, and you never always understood what he was saying, but you listened nonetheless. Listening was the best thing someone could do. 

Your eyes fall on the loose and shaggy fabric around his neck. The cream knit was your first little home project, evident with the frayed threads and stubborn coffee stains. That single scarf took you a week because of your lack of experience. You worked on it everywhere, on the train, at work and the park. Your favourite place to knit was next to him as he hunched over his computer desk and went through hundreds of photographs with his glasses on the tip of his nose.

That was the one thing he didn’t mail back. 

He goes around the table, handing out everyone’s selected drinks with greetings. “Sorry, I’m late. I got stuck at the studio with this last-minute family portrait session.” 

“At least it wasn’t another self-proclaimed influencer.” Curtis snorts.

“Fuck no, thank goodness for that.” He laughs, almost too gleeful. When he gets to you, he simply sets the drink on the wooden countertop and flashes a tense smile.

It either took one or ten minutes for you to sip the drink before you rushed out the back door with an excuse about fresh air. 

The cool, November air welcomes you with open arms as if it knew you wouldn’t last very long. You lean on the railing, distracting yourself with the red, orange and yellow trees across the way. The music and chatter fade into whispers, and the crickets and gentle wind take their place. Down below, the water ripples against the rocks, the wooden poles dark and green from the lake, another victim to time, just like everything else.  

The fall season itself was a tale of death. The days got shorter because the sun comes and goes all too quickly and the leaves turn into different shades before falling to the ground. Bidding farewell in warm colour pallets and leave the trees bare, mere skeletons of life, dormant and dull.

Then, they’re reincarnated by spring. Brought back by more sunshine and warmth, blooming hues the world has longed for. 

You wondered when your spring would come, or if you’d be trapped in perpetual autumn. Be forced to feel every part of you change into red, yellow or orange and fall until there is nothing left and you're in a barren comatose. 

You stare down at your dress, the very one he said was his favourite. The soft blue silk is highlighted by the dim fairy lights hung up on the fence. Memories are woven into the fabric and they’re all good because you stopped wearing this dress when things got worse. With a brush of the lace hem, you’re reminded of him.

“I knew you’d look beautiful in this.” 

“You have to stop buying me things, we have bills to pay.”

He scoffs, “bills aren’t going to help my girl realize how beautiful she is.” He takes your hand, pressing his plump lips on your knuckles, “I know it, the world knows it, but she doesn’t. And that isn’t okay with me.” 

The door swings open and slams into the wall, making you jump. 

“Oh shit, sorry!” His voice rings out, “Didn’t mean to scare you, I thought the door was heavier.” 

You quickly wipe your eyes, not caring about your makeup anymore. You tried hard to look your best tonight and embody that healed person you’ve pretended to be for the past few weeks. But he couldn’t say hi or your name. Why couldn’t he say your name?

He tucks away his cigarettes, “You stay, I’ll go out front. You probably want to be alone.”

“No, it’s okay. I’m going to call a cab.” 

“You’re leaving?”

“Natasha knows I have an early morning.” You keep it simple and duck away from his gaze, hugging your purse close as some sort of lifesaver that was keeping you from floating into the sky. Truthfully, you wouldn’t mind that abrupt escape after hearing his next words. 

“Wait—I mean, I’ll wait with you. It’s too late for you to be outside by yourself.” 

Your stride doesn’t slow, you hope he’ll get the hint and just go back inside, but with his mile-long legs, he easily catches up to you. His boots land heavily on the boardwalk and the buckles of his leather jacket chime, filling the strained silence.

“So, did you see that new cinema downtown?”

“Please don’t.”

He raises his arms in defence, a smile audible in his voice, “Sorry, I didn’t realize you hated movies.” 

“Ari.” Your shoulders slump and the sorrow gets heavier. You swear the world could cave under your feet. “Don’t try to—” You cut yourself off, knowing if you didn’t get away now, you’d regret it, “I want to be alone right now.” 

The pine trees sway in the breeze, surrounding you with their natural scent. 

He takes one hesitant step back, nodding slowly. “Right, I’m probably the last person you want to see.”

He couldn’t be more wrong and that only worsened the pain. How could he think that when he was the only person you wanted to see every day for over a decade? 

It stretches far back to when you were children and living down the street from each other. 

How could he think that when you used to wait out on the porch for him to pass by so you could walk to school together? How could he think that when you’ve spent hundreds of hours writing about his face in your diaries, about how his smile could light up a stadium and how his eyes were endless pools of stories and wishes? 

How could he?

“Hey, hey, it’s okay.” Ari’s features grow concerned as the hot tears stream down your cheeks. “It’s okay—” He reaches for you, gently grasping your hand. 

“No, it’s not.” You try to shrug him off, not bothering to wipe your face. He knew you were crying out here anyway. He knew you more than he knew himself, so it wouldn’t surprise you if he also knew what you were thinking right now—where did he find the audacity to say it’s okay? “I’m sad—I’m still so sad. And you aren’t.” 

Ari stiffens and releases your hand as if he’d been burned. His cerulean eyes are shaded by the night, and darkness bleeds onto his solemn face, “You think I’m not sad?”

You tearily blink, waving towards the bar by the lake. “You seemed pretty happy in there—and you acted like you didn’t even know me.” 

Sure, you probably would’ve cried if he spoke to you, but at least he would have acknowledged you. You’d take that glimmer of attention over his silence any day.

“I was—I am heartbroken.” He confesses, his long hair falling over his forehead as he stares down at you, “I didn’t know if you wanted me to talk to you—”

“Yet you followed me out here anyway.” 

Even in the moonlight, you can see his cheeks turn cherry red. 

“Okay, but I was checking on you. I didn’t mean for this to happen and to make you cry.” He protests, “Am I not allowed to worry about you?”

You close your eyes and shake your head, turning on your heel to continue down the boardwalk. The main street mocks you in the distance, beckoning you with yellow streetlights and the chance to escape, but his fingers wrap around your wrist, holding tightly.

“Wait, please. I’m sorry.” 

His touch is warm and familiar, the other end of the double-edged sword. On one end is the busy street, the carefree people living their lives on this fall evening, the cars driving by, and your bittersweet freedom—but also your lonely apartment with your cold, empty bed. The other end, the one entwining with your trembling fingers, is suffocatingly soft and inviting. Enticing you to stay and listen, but at what cost? Would it only bring more suffering draped in so-called closure or more confusion that your heart couldn’t take?

“Muse—”

“Don’t.”

He inhales deeply and you feel his breath on the back of your head. “I’m devastated, I’m alone, I’m stuck in this disordered loop that I don’t know how to get out of.” His grip constricts, once then twice but you force yourself to stay as unresponsive as a corpse. “You were my first for everything, I-I wanted you to be my last.” 

You knew that and you wanted the same thing. You’ve discussed it countless nights in your shared bed, whispering about the possibilities that the great big world offered, from tamed to outlandish. Picking up a strange hobby, or travelling the globe, he even mentioned moving to a new country altogether, “think about it. A fresh start, just the two of us and unlimited options.”

“I wouldn’t say unlimited, unfamiliar sounds more accurate.” 

“Pick a place, any place and I’ll make it happen.” 

“What if I don’t tell you and just take off alone? Soak up all that freshness by myself.” 

“Oh, then I’ll find you. I’ll follow you anywhere.” 

Experiencing things for the first time together was a big part of your relationship. You were both painstakingly sentimental, which only made it harder to pack your things. Everything reminded you of what was or what could’ve been, you eventually decided to keep what you needed and throw out what carried tender nostalgia. 

You never followed through with that, but you do avoid the many boxes stacked in your closet. Full of pictures, gifts, and anything that reminded you of him. That was where you found this dress.

From the seedlings of memorable firsts, it was inevitable that you two gave each other your first heartbreaks too. 

The tears come back with vengeance, spilling down your heated cheeks, “You ended things.”

“You walked out!” He rushes to apologize, swerving in front of you before you could take another step. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry. Just please, listen to me.” 

Why? He never listened to you in the end. 

Whenever you brought up concerns about weird tension or the growing emptiness, he never listened.  He was all about work and brushed off dates for last-minute gigs. You knew he wanted a greater future for the two of you, something better than your crowded apartment with your roommates (now the close friends in the bar), and something brighter than the stars combined. 

You tried to understand and a part of you did, but the other part couldn’t take it anymore. The part that missed your boyfriend, missed your mindless conversations and quiet nights at home, and when he picked up that camera and photographed you like a piece of art. 

That part of you won. You laid down your weapons and went defenceless into his line of fire, with only your heart in your hands and a rehearsed speech in your head. 

You never made it all the way through because you two started arguing, right in front of your friends, spitting accusations fueled by rage and doubt, making each other into the bigger villain when it was always clear who was the culprit. 

Even now, although you know it’s him, you wonder if you were an accomplice. 

Childhood sweethearts turned college lovers, plenty of people have made it all the way—to whatever was their ideal. Many people have also given up, gotten tired, or fallen out of love. 

You thought you and Ari were stronger than that, and you wouldn’t let the pressures of life, work, and school weigh onto your relationship. But in the end, those voices were always right, and your shared dreams were crushed at the hands of breakdowns, lost time, and agonizing lulls. 

It was ironic how you’re haunted by voices while Ari rarely used his.

Ari wasn’t loud or interruptive. He was quiet and timid, and as he grew up, he slowly came out of his shell and matured into the tall, confident, and gentle giant in front of you. 

When you were kids, he wrote adorably misspelled sentences on sticky notes to drop into your lunchbox, and then in high school, he wrote love letters to slip into your locker. The sweetest part was that he never signed them, yet you always suspected it was him. He pretended to be curious about your newest note from your secret admirer and asked about the contents, all the itty bitty details of the proclamation in black pen.

He was after your heart, and he surely got it. 

He showed his love through touch, gestures and gifts, through photographs and love letters that were kept in a special box. 

It was beautiful in a way that only broken poets, starved artists and silenced lovers could understand. And you and Ari were all three. The tragedy was in colours no one else could see, the script in an undiscovered language, but to you and all the rest of the heartbroken, it was so vivid and clear. You dipped your fingers into that magic shade and poured your heart onto the white walls of the lonely tower, mourning your knight who would never return. 

You made the tragedy your home, wallowed in it, and pitied yourself over every missed opportunity—the fleeted moments where things could have changed, leading you somewhere different from where you were. But you tried to get better, to get clean of him and those noisy, unhelpful thoughts. You wanted to save yourself, to gather the guts to leave that tower and climb down to the lush grass and sparkling rivers below. 

In delusions, you are happy and satisfied, sober from the destruction. But right now, that false comfort was cracking beneath your feet. You wished to board up the windows and hide away from the world, from him. 

“Will you please listen to me?” He pleads, his voice thick, “just listen, you don’t have to say anything or even stay afterward.” 

“Why?” You turn to him, gritting your teeth to keep from sobbing. “Why should I listen to you when you never listened to me? When I told you that were growing apart, you just pushed me further away. Does—” Your voice cracks, “Does that not seem unfair to you?” Did you not deserve the same mercy he was begging for?

It was too late if he wanted to listen this time. It was gone, flatlined, buried under the dirt with overgrown weeds and ivy climbing on the gravestone. Your names were etched into the stone, just another miserable end in the cemetery of the heartbroken, the battered and bruised, the forgotten and silenced. 

You’ve been a ghost ever since he mailed back the things you thought he wanted. Transparent and floating through the graveyard, weeping in wonder, and feebly searching for that scarf—the one thing he kept.

“I won’t ask again. This is the last time, Ari. You won’t get another chance.”

He opens and closes his mouth multiple times, rethinking every thought racing in his head, but then he finally settles on shutting his mouth. Those plump lips pressed firmly together, a barrier for everything he should say—and everything you had the right to hear. 

Defeated, you release his hand. You didn’t realize you were holding him too, it was all just automatic at this point, unlike this moment which is only a rerun of a film you’ve already seen. 

Your gaze traces his face one last time, locking everything to memory from the curve of his dark eyebrows, the shade of his blue eyes, the point of his nose, the blush pink of his lips, and every freckle like they were constellations. 

In a flash, you’re staring at him from across the classroom, watching him slowly write on a yellow sticky note, his tongue poking from between his teeth in concentration. 

Another flash, and you’re watching him bolt down the hallway, passing lockers and other students with his azure eyes set on you. In his hand is an old polaroid camera and he’s wearing the widest grin, “Let’s go to the park.” He almost crashes into you but grasps your shoulder in excitement, illuminating the dull hallway with his glow. 

You laugh, “I have class… and so do you.” 

“Yeah, but the weather is so nice today.” He pouts, already tugging you towards one of the exits. “Plus, you look really pretty. Wouldn’t you rather be my model, than sit in some dusty old classroom?”

He kissed you that day, under the biggest willow tree in the park with his hand on your cheek. He blushed a nervous red and asked so sweetly, “Can I—May I please…” He trailed off, profusely blinking at your parted lips, “Will you let me b-be your first kiss? And will you be mine?”

And finally, you’re back in the present. His looming shadow as he towers over your lifeless frame, executed by the quiet and unspoken words. You’d take anything at this point, from shuddering pleas to choked apologies—you’d grovel for a single syllable. 

“That’s it.” You scoff in disbelief, “all you can do is look at me?”

Again, silence. His eyes pool with tears, seconds away from streaming down his cheeks and matching your wet trails and ruined makeup. He doesn’t speak, but he’s breaking, cracking at the surface like delicate porcelain holding back a flood. 

“You deserve better than me.”

No, he doesn’t get to decide that. He doesn’t get to use that stale statement to dig his own grave, right alongside yours before the final self-deprecating eulogy. It didn’t matter if he thought you deserved better than him, all that should matter was that you wanted him, that you still wanted him even after all of this. 

“So, you’re just gonna let me go? After all we’ve been through?” After you’ve given him everything, and showed him every part of you and let him in.

The first tear falls, dripping down his beard and onto the worn knit. Then another, and another until they’re streaming down his cheeks and soaked up by the scarf. “You’re already gone.” 

There it is, the last nail in the coffin.

Ari has never been aggressive or forceful, but you wished he’d be brave. You wished he’d fight for you, step into the battlefield with an unrelenting resolve to make things right—to get you back. But he doesn’t, he just looks down at you, chewing on his lip with clenched fists. 

He’s surrendered to the war, abandoning you in the tower of tragedy, but joining you in the cemetery of the heartbroken. He’s signing his name on the death certificate and damning you and your wistful dreams, erasing every ‘what if’ that has plagued the both of you since you were children.

“You couldn’t be more wrong.” 

You swallow the lump in your throat and fight the weakness in your knees, but you refuse to do this to yourself again, to give him a chance he won’t take. You turn around and continue down the dock, your arms wrapped tightly around yourself in a form of self-soothing. 

Autumn was a story of demise, but it had to be better than the earsplitting silence. You’d take the cruel cold and neverending abyss over the lack of effort. Right now, there was no spring in sight, no rebirth to raise you from the dead but you’d find your own life someday and somehow without him. You had to save yourself, be your own hero and come out victorious—alone, but triumphant.

𝐄𝐧𝐝𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐬:  i’ve already started a part two for those of us who want a happy ending, so if you’re an angsty person, feel free to just leave it at this part. i’ll let you all know when i have a date. this is also my second time writing angst on here, and i had a few good cry sessions. i know this isn't the usual filth but i hope you all enjoyed this nonetheless.

𝐒𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐥 𝐍𝐨𝐭𝐞! i love you all very much. pls take this kith 😚🫶

As always, I hope you all enjoyed this and I’d love to hear your thoughts/feedback !! [my inbox] <3 — ☼ 𝐃𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐦𝐲 𝐊𝐨-𝐟𝐢 ☼

I don’t do taglists anymore. ˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ 𝐅𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐨𝐰 & 𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐧 𝐨𝐧 𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐢𝐟𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐦𝐲 𝐥𝐢𝐛𝐫𝐚𝐫𝐲: @𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐮𝐧𝐧𝐲𝐬𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐛𝐫𝐚𝐫𝐲

[strawberrykisseslia]

something stupid like i love you

ellie williams x fem!reader

cw: angst, not confirmed relationship

a/n: i'm not feeling anything happy rn so have this 🤗 happy new year by the way! sorry for being inactive but school has been a lot lately

songs i listened to while writing: something stupid - frank sinatra ; exile, this is me trying - taylor swift

words count: 637

it had been hard for both you and ellie. you knew about her relationship with dina and absolutely respected. you helped her through everything she got going on, though she never showed that she was grateful for that or not. she became more and more distant towards you, and started to mention dina more often. she saw her in everything and you felt completely alone but you loved her so much, you didn't even know why at this low point.

it was dinner and you were preparing for it. you were in a quiet good mood.

you made an easy dinner for the both of you, pasta. after getting everything done you called out to ellie. no answers.

you decided to made your way upstairs to look for her. her door was closed. you gently knocked on it. "ellie? dinner is done. come down to eat." you informed her in a soft tone.

she still hasn't answered yet so you opened the door gently. it was cold in her room. she was sitting on her bed. her back facing you. a sigh escaped your lips. she was looking her notebook through. "ellie?" you whispered. she sighed, still back facing you. "yes?" her tone was cold but it was no surprise to you anymore. "please, come down and eat. you need to." you leaned against the door frame.

she sighed heavily and nodded before getting and making her was towards you. she stood before you. "are you... alright?" you asked with concern. "yea." she whispered. "okay." you nodded and got out of her way as she went down and you followed her.

you sat down in front of the table that was prepared. you began to eat as ellie was she starting at her food. you put down the fork and looked at her worriedly. "just one bite and i'll leave you alone." she was hurting and you knew it but you were hurting too. seeing her like this and just the coldness around her was also a lot to deal with, with your own problems too. you didn't want to be selfish so you didn't mention it to her or even wanted to confirm it in yourself.

"why are you doing this?" she asked you coldly as she looked up at you slowly from her food. you were left quiet speechless because you didn't knew the answer to this question at all as well. "i just want you to be alright or at least try." you murmured and looked down. "you're just wasting your time." her words hit you like a cold brief. maybe she was right. it was no use but you wanted to try. for her.

"i love you." you mumbled. it was quite but she most probably heard you. "but i can't love you." she answered back. "i can't move on and i never looked at you like that." you knew it for a long time now but you just kept making yourself believe, maybe one day. though, that day never came and you knew it never will.

you shook your head quickly. "yes, of course, i understand. sorry i don't know what was i thinking." you claimed.

the air grew more and more cold with each breath. ellie got up from her seat and went back into her room, leaving you in the dim light of the kitchen. you were helpless. this feeling felt quiet familiar like you felt or seen something like this before.

you thought about leaving her but you just couldn't do that. what would happen to her then? you had to stay with her for at least as long they find their way back to each other. if they ever will. but you knew you were going to loose yourself through the process, the way you're losing it now.

[hoziercriespower]

I'm tired of people pretending Taylor Swift is a better song writer than Hozier. Florence should have collabed with him instead.

Usually I'd just ignore things like this but either you've been spamming me with similiar messages or there's a small group of people that seems to think I'm in change of Florence's collaboration process. Believe me, if I were, I'd have been asking for a Hozier / Florence collab for years like so many others, but she's a grown woman capable of making her own choices. If she wants to collab with Taylor, she's fully entitled to. This also doesn't mean she can't ever collaborate with Andrew just because she's made a song with Taylor.

Comparing two artists that are vastly different but equally as driven by the work they do and create doesn't make sense to me. Hozier isn't trying to be Taylor and Taylor isn't trying to be Hozier. They can exist within the same universe without people pitting them against each other. Talent is subjective. What you might be pleasant to your ears could be torture to another. They're both good at what they do and you can't take that from either of them. Just because they're both known for their writing doesn't mean one's ability overides the other. They exist in difference spaces.

Andrew has made it clear (even in very recent interviews) that he isn't making music for radio play. He makes music tackling difficult subject matters, which to some people is a lot to consume. Some people either can't or don't want to connect with it. That's okay. He's made peace with that and has always know that's not his target demographic anyway. He doesn't want people to listen to his songs if it doesn't resonate with them and he isn't going to stop making hard hitting songs because they're not hitting the chats. This doesn't mean people don't regard him as a great song-writer.

Taylor, on the other hand has built her career of relatability. The majority of people that listen to her now are people that grew up listening to her when she was young. They grew up with her and so their milestones often intertwine. Her stories resonate with others and it's easy to swallow because most people expierence the same thing. She's been questioned so many times during her career that she constantly feels like she has to prove herself, so she wants to validation of the charts. She's never hidden that. So maybe she's given more attention to her writing ability, but that's because her music is more widely spread.

Ultimately, Florence is clearly happy with her decision and maybe one day we could get a Florence and Hozier collab we so desperately want. That doesn't mean other artists need to be bashed in order for this to happen. You can not like the collab, you can not like Taylor, but please don't use me as a device to spread negative opinions on another artist. That's not what I'm about. I just want to post Hozier content since I noticed a distinct lack of it showing up on tumblr.

[dragon-creates]

She Was Like A Sunflower

Read on AO3

1/2/3/4/5/6/7/8/9/10/11/12

Yeah, I just finished this so there may be some spelling mistakes. I just didn't want to delay the second chapter any further so I'll fix them when I wake up. Also, WHO PUT DOOMED YURI IN MY FUNNYBUNNY FIC?!?! Also, come support me and Pandora's new au on our shared tumblr called 'The Amazing Digital Redacted AU'. If you love indie horror like Bendy and the Ink machine, Poppy Playtime, FNAF then you'll love this AU. Here's the link Don't forget to check out twitter as well All that said, enjoy chapter 2! (and dont kill me pls)

2. Marjorie

What died didn't stay dead

You're alive, so alive

And if I didn't know better

I'd think you were singing to me now – Marjorie by Taylor Swift

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Cloudy skies, not a hint of light coming through. It was going to be that type of day today, and that type of mood by the way Winter observed Riley’s behaviour this morning. The redhead was at the table, drinking coffee and bouncing Percy on her knee. Winter could tell whenever a smile was pretend, and the way her wife smiled right now was no exception.

Could she blame her? Winter was a wreck when Jack went missing and knowing how close Penny and Riley were, it made sense for her wife to behave the way she did. But the thing is, Riley didn’t, or scream, or get angry. The passionate, loud, amazing women she married wasn’t the one holding their son at the table. There was only a shell. And after that visit she had with David, Riley’s shell had only gotten tougher.

If Riley said anything that related to Penny, it would be to trying to find her. She never spoke about how it made her feel, never saw a tear, or the grieved anger that one would expect. Riley was always so loving towards anything about her sister, it unnerved Winter seeing her wife like this.

“Look at him,” Riley cooed at the little baby on her lap. “We have the cutest kid in the world, look at him.”

Percy giggled as his mother held him up under the arms, thrashing his legs about as he peered at his mama over the kitchen island. “He is the cutest baby in the world,” Winter agreed. “Um, I know Captain Rae is okay with you working on this case. But are you sure-”

“We should get him a new mobile,” Riley cut her off, focusing her attention on Percy. “I think the other one isn’t working to well, he never pays attention to it.”

Winter pursed her lips, tapping her fingers on the kitchen counter. She wanted to at least say something about Penny before Riley had to leave to drop Percy off at Laura’s. “Listen, Riley,” she spoke, making her wife turn to her. “You have been nothing but patient when I found out Jack went missing, I know this type of this is so fucking far from easy. Whatever you’re feeling, I’ve felt it too. You…you know that right?”

“I know,” Riley smiled warmly. “You know, you can say if you’re missing Jack again. You don’t have to be light about it to make me feel better, okay Hun?”

“No, no, that’s not what I’m trying to say,” Winter pinched the bridge of her nose. “I’ve heard you in the night, waking up crying. I understand what you’re feeling, you can talk about Penny-”

“-Okay Percy,” Riley turned back to her son. “Are you ready to see Grandma?” She immediately stood up, holding him by her hip as she grabbed her own bag, Percy’s baby bag and car keys from the table.

It was as if a switch was flipped, a wall was put up and the shell was hardening. “Riley, wait!” Winter went round the kitchen island as she chased her wife to the door, “Riley.”

Riley froze as she opened the door, facing the outside, her face hidden. Winter heard her take a sharp intake of breath before facing her with the same faux smile that she had been wearing ever since she came back from David’s “Yeah?”

“I…It’s just,” Winter tried to find the words, to say something that didn’t involve her life leaving without at least finishing a conversation. But she knew that no matter how hard she tried, Riley would find an opening in order not to face it, and it would only make Winter’s efforts even harder. The dark-haired woman sighed, “I’ll see you at work later. I…love you.”

A glimpse of a real smile appeared on Riley’s face, “I love you too carrot cake.” The redhead pressed a kiss to her wife’s cheek, “I’ll see you soon.”

“Yeah,” Winter nodded solemnly, “See you soon.”

With that, Riley turned her focus back on Percy and shut the door behind her. Winter let her soldiers sag, a painful ache forming in her heart. She knew Riley was hurting, she saw it flicker in her eyes every time a dead end came up for Penny’s case, she heard it when Riley awoke crying from nightmares – yet Winter pretended she was asleep in order for Riley to not feel ashamed – and she felt every single anger and grief that she knew Riley was having because she had felt it when Jack went missing.

So why wouldn’t Riley talk to her?!

Winter took a deep breath, trying to cancel out the negative energy. Everyone copes differently with these types of things. Besides, she and Riley were as strong as cement, they could work through this despite how bleak everything seemed.

Riley would come to her eventually…maybe…hopefully.

So why did Winter feel so lonely?

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“Okay, let me understand this as best as I can,” Ragatha started. Pomni and Jax had set up some bean bags for everyone while they sat on the bed, just finishing up their rundown of everything that happened in the last day. “You two have your memories back?”

“Yup,” Jax nodded.

“And you two were engaged before you got sucked in here?” Zooble questioned.

“That would be correct,” Pomni agreed.

“And now you guys might know a way to escape this place?” Gangle asked.

“That is a plausibility,” Jax replied.

Ragatha pressed her hands together and held them near her face, taking a long, deep, exhausted breath, “This is a lot to take in.”

Pomni bit her lip nervously, “I know this is the last thing you were all expecting, but you’re all handling this well all things considered.”

“I’m just confused on how you managed to fall in love with Jax of all people,” Zooble muttered, glaring at the rabbit.

Jax rolled his eyes, “Thanks Zooble.”

Pomni frowned, taking his hand into hers and squeezing it tight, “Because he loved me despite everything, saw me at my worst yet stayed because he knew I could thrive into my best. And right now, he helped me find a possible way to get everyone out of here. Do I excuse what he’s done to all of you? No. And I’m still not happy with how he treated me and Ragatha on my first day. So don’t think I’m taking sides, I’m simply observing.”

Zooble sighed, almost feeling guilty…almost. But they trusted Pomni’s word, not Jax’s (they didn’t know if they ever would) but definitely Pomni’s. “Fine” she muttered.

Kinger looked more lost than he usually did. The usual quiet brainstorm he would have in the middle of the room increased like wildfire. “Memories…returning,” he mumbled. “This…I don’t…I haven’t seen anything like it.”

Jax turned to the chess piece. He didn’t like this reaction, not one bit. It brought up too many painful flashbacks of someone similar to Kinger going through the same thing a long time ago, “Kinger, buddy, stay with us.”

It was like going in one ear and out the either for the royal character, still shaking like a leaf, “How…what is…something is…a trip?”

Trip? Jax didn’t want to see how far this would go, how far Kinger would go unless he’d – no, he wasn’t going to finish that thought and he wouldn’t let this continue. “Kinger!” Jax clapped his hands, the sound ringing through the room and snapping the chess piece out of his mumblings.

Kinger blinked. Once, twice, “Oh Jax.” And once again, he was back to himself, “Apologies, I must have been lost in a dream. But it’s so nice to know you and Pomni were together, young love finds a way.”

Despite the chess piece giving them all a scare, that statement alone made the rabbit and jester blush. Would it be rude if he kicked everyone out and smother his fiancé with attention? Yes, yes it would. And while it was tempting, Jax couldn’t afford to indulge. Not when the giant elephant in the room was still being addressed.

“It is really sweet,” Gangle whispered. It sounded like a genuine compliment from the masked woman – and it was don’t get her wrong – but there was something else lacing her tone. Something else that suggested the bodied ribbons couldn’t be as happy as she wanted to be. But she didn’t say, it wasn’t her place. No one could even tell from that slight lilt in her voice that she felt this way.

But Zooble noticed.

“Okay, still a little confused but I think I’m getting there,” Ragatha finally spoke up again. “Listen, Pomni. You know I trust you whole heartedly, but we’ve been here for years and no one has seen an exit until now, are you sure that what you’ve seen is accurate?”

Pomni’s face fell. Despite the door in front of Ragatha, despite everything she told her, why did the ragdoll still doubt her? “But we told you. The exit door is right there,” Pomni pointed to the door on the wall, desperation filling her eyes. “I know it seems impossible but I really think we can get out of here!”

Ragatha gasped, covering her mouth with guilt at what she said, “Sorry, sorry Pomni I phrased that wrong. It’s just…we’ve all tried looking for a way out and it always backfired, even when we think we’ve gotten so close. I don’t want the same thing to happen to you.”

Pomni opened her mouth, about to speak when-

“Ragatha,” Jax spoke. Everyone’s eyes widened, he never said Ragatha’s actual name, and so seriously either. “We saw her mother. She saw us send out a message to her. She knows we’re alive.” He paused, watching the ragdoll process everything with shock written all over her face. “Someone knows we’re here now. I know you’re scared, but this is a real chance of finally leaving.”

Ragatha’s mouth opened and closed, cutting off words before they even arrived at her lips. She thought she knew everything about the circus, had accepted that no matter how much they tried they could never escape. It was a horrible thing to accept, but she had to if she wanted to stay sane and not end up like…she could still feel herself almost crumbling away when Kaufmo’s abstracted form attacked her. No, no! She can’t lose herself now. She should be grateful that Pomni and Jax managed to find a way to be free, so why did it feel so hard to grasp onto that hope? “Okay,” she sighed. “I trust you, Pomni. But what about Caine, do you think you’ll tell him-”

“NO!” Pomni cut her off, fear swimming in her red and blue eyes. Even everyone seemed shocked by her sudden volume. Jax held her close, hugging her trembling form as the jester took a few breaths to calm herself down. “No, I-I don’t think that’s a good idea. He already had a weird way of trying to make things ‘fun’ here, I don’t know how he’ll feel when we say we’ve found a legitimate exit. What if he tries to take that away?”

The rest of the group nodded slowly. Even before Pomni arrived, Caine had always shut down the possibility of an exit being possible. And every time it was shown to him, he would twist it and prove to them that it was just another part of the circus. It was like he feared an exit even existing.

“It’s just your imagination!” he always said, leaving them to doubt if what they saw was actually there. And if you lost yourself in those thoughts, then it was a one-way trip into the cellar. And nobody wanted that.

“Well in that case…” Ragatha trailed off, closing her eyes for a moment. When they opened, they were fierce and determined. “Keep doing what you’re doing. This actually seems like a true way to finally get out of here. But do not let Caine find out. Keep pretending that everything is the same, you two are just friends, you don’t remember your past and that there is no way an exit is even here.”

“Got it,” Pomni and Jax said in unison.

“Which means that you two should stop acting like a couple whenever you’re in public,” Ragatha stated.

“Oh we know,” Pomni smiled innocently.

“Yeah, it’s not as hard as it seems,” Jax replied cooly.

Ragatha raised a coy brow at the two of them, “Pomni, darling, you’re sitting on Jax’s lap.”

Oh, right, the two of them forgot about that. They were both quick to slip back in to how they used to be before the circus, which meant a lot of trusting physical contact that the two were proud to have developed over the years. But then again, Ragatha was right. Something like that would be extremely obvious to Caine that something was up.

Pomni slid of the rabbit’s lap, rubbing the back of her neck awkwardly while Jax coughed nervously behind his fist. “Right, sorry,” Pomni laughed sheepishly, while Jax pouted at the lack of contact.

Ragatha pinched the bridge of her nose again, this is gonna be a disaster.

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Riley paced back and forth in her mother’s living room, her phone held to her ear as she chewed on her fingernail. “Oh god I fucked up, I really fucked up,” she mumbled as the dial buzzed in her ear.

“Riley, sweetie, it’s gonna be okay,” Amber put her hands on her daughter’s shoulders, ceasing her pacing. “If this Samual boy is as nice as you say he is I’m sure he’ll listen to you.”

“I was really awful the last time I saw him, Mom,” Riley winced as she remembered his cries, ignoring him as the elevator doors shut behind her. “And the worst part was, I genuinely believed he was telling the truth. You always told me to trust my gut and I did! With him! But then Jason Wood said stuff that sounded plausible, and I feel so fucking stupid because even my head was screaming at me not to believe him. I didn’t know whether to trust the facts because both of them were laid out to me and I-”

“Hey, hey,” Amber’s voice was soft yet firm.  “This isn’t like anything you’ve ever worked on before. We are dealing with something that we didn’t even know existed, and its personal since both Jack and Penny are involved in this. In a normal case, maybe someone like Jason is right about this. But this isn’t a normal case, and we have proof that this Jason guy isn’t to be trusted.”

Riley nodded, “I have to let him know how sorry I am. This kid, he’s been through so much, all I did was make his situation worse. If Jason really treated him like that them…oh god…oh god Mom we really need to help him!”

Amber nodded feverishly. When Riley told her what Samual went through, with his parents going missing and how Jason was like to him whenever they were brought up, all the mother saw was nothing but red. The only time Amber looked like she was ready to kill was with David after the car crash all those years ago, and again when he showed up at both of her daughters’ homes unannounced.

Riley was about to speak when-

“Hello?” Samual’s voice answered through the phone.

“Ah, Samual!” Riley gasped, keeping the phone tight to her ear. “Samual you were right about everything! We couldn’t trust Jason!”

“M-miss Riley?!” His tone was small and frightened, almost trading on eggshells at the sound of her. “What are you talking about?”

Riley only wanted that type of fear from the voices of those who wronged her, not from innocent kids trying to help. She wanted to slap herself in the face for making that mistake, “Samual, you know the emails you showed me? Of the mystery person? The same thing happened to my Mom, my sister, I think she’s trying to get into contact with us.”

There was a small pause on the other line, before the boy spoke meekly, “You…you believe me?”

“Yeah, yeah kid I do,” Riley was nothing short of breathless. The last twenty-four hours have been nothing but a blur. But the way she spoke to him, at the height of her anger. Even if this situation wasn’t real, she shouldn’t have spoke to a hurting kid like that. “Samual, I owe you an apology.”

“Oh no, you don’t need to-”

“Samual, please,” she gently cut him off. “The way I spoke to you was nothing short of cold and rude. I was in a bad place and me and my family have gone through so much pain, but that’s no excuse and I should never have taken my anger out on you. I’m so sorry Samual.”

There was a pause, Riley waited with bated breath. Mere seconds felt agonisingly long until Samual finally answered, “I forgive you.”

Riley felt her lungs fill with air, finally letting herself breathe, “Really?”

“Yeah, I get it. Jason has a history of getting people to believe his stories,” Samual said. “I don’t blame you. And now I’m guessing we have more proof that he’s lying?”

“That’s right,” Riley confirmed, “Are you free to come check it out?”

“I’ll be there as quick as I can,” Samual’s excited and curious tone returned. “I can’t wait to get started on our secret FBI work!”

The line cut off before Riley could say another word. She grinned, shaking her head.

He forgave her.

“I’m guessing it went well?” Amber asked, her own smile gracing her lips.

Riley nodded, relief washing over her again and again, “We might actually be getting somewhere.”

Amber faltered a little. For a while, she was starting to lose hope that she would ever truly hear those words. But somehow, mercy was gifted to her and her family. “We’re gonna find her,” she stated firmly to her eldest daughter “We’re gonna get Penny back.”

“We will Mom,” Riley agreed, “We will.”

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Yes the option to not go on Caine’s adventure was always available, but it didn’t mean that the ringmaster was too happy whenever someone decided to stay behind. Right now, Zooble was idly walking down one of the hallways on the tent, kicking their foot against the carpet a few times. Ironically enough, Zooble wasn’t the first and only one who volunteered to stay behind for the day. Nope, it was Gangle who asked first.

Normally the ribboned lady wouldn’t mind tagging along on an adventure with everyone else, but today she turned away at the offer trudging back into the circus. Zooble had instantly recognised that it wasn’t Gangle’s usual behaviour and decided to stay back too. He would deal with Caine’s shenanigans once the pair of dentures came back with the rest of the crew.

Zooble paced up and down the hallway, the day was nearly up but she hadn’t actually worked up the courage to see if Gangle was okay. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to, but Gangle was one of the sweetest and sensitive people here. Zooble cherished the fact that someone like her wanted to be friends with someone like him, to the point that they even got a bit nervous when talking with her one on one. But right now, there was something obviously wrong with Gangle and Zooble made the choice to stay behind to make sure that she didn’t feel less alone. Yet here she was, keeping a distance from the masked lady because he was nothing but afraid.

But then they stopped. When he was in the gloink hole, Gangle was the only one to realise he was missing, even being brave enough to try and bring her back. It would be selfish of Zooble to not at least try to comfort the girl and see if she was okay. Swallowing both his fears and pride, Zooble marched themselves down the hall to find Gangle.

He found her sitting on the stage, her silk legs drawn up to her chest as she sighed to herself, her comedy mask was once again broken and she had to rely on her secondary, sombre one instead. Under Zooble’s stoic expression, she was absolutely terrified. They didn’t know why, Gangle was their friend. Why did they feel afraid to start a conversation alone with a friend. Their sweet…kind…pretty friend. Ah! Pull yourself together! Gangle needs you!

Zooble took a deep breath, he could do this. And so, he walked up to the stage, slipping into their usual and calm posture, “Hey Gangle. No adventure today?”

She jumped a bit at the sound of her name, relaxing when they saw who it was, “No, not today. I wasn’t in the mood.”

“Oh,” Zooble nodded awkwardly. They weren’t really good at the emotional fluffy stuff, every time they tried she somehow always reached a dead end. But he didn’t want Gangle feeling this lonely, he had to at least try and help her out, “Any reason why?”

Gangle rubbed her arm, giving Zooble a sad smile, “It’s okay Zooble. If you have somewhere to be then you can go, you don’t need to stay and talk to me if you don’t want to.”

“No I do!” Zooble said a bit too quickly, making Gangle squeak. “Gah, sorry, sorry! I didn’t mean to sound like that. It’s…ugh how does Ragatha do this so easily?” They closed their eyes for a moment, breathing deeply before opening them again. “I’m here because I want to be. And I’m always willing to lend an ear if you need to talk. Gangle, if there’s anything you wanna say or do, I’m here.”

The ribboned woman seemed to be taken aback by that, not fully expecting that level of support from the usual reclusive assortment of parts. But she wasn’t complaining, she liked seeing this side of Zooble. “Well, it’s just…” she started, fiddling with the ends of her ribbons for a moment. “I’m happy that Pomni and Jax have their memories back, really I am. And it really is sweet that they used to be together, but…”

“But?” Zooble asked.

“…Jax has done nothing but torment us, prank us and make our lives miserable,” Gangle spoke. “Every day, he’s done nothing but go out of his way to annoy us just because he likes seeing funny things happen to people. And now he has his memories back and we’re suddenly happy for him?! After all he put us through. As if it erases everything he did to us! With Pomni, I’m glad that she remembers who she was. She was so scared when she got here and Caine has done nothing to help her, so it’s good finally seeing her smile. But with Jax? It might be wrong for me to say but it doesn’t seem fair! We’ve been trying everything to remember who we were, all the while he laughed at us for doing so! Like he hadn’t tried doing so in the first place as well yet he still made fun of us! And now he gets them back just like that! I wanna remember! I tried so hard to! Yet he berated me for trying and he-”

She covered her mouth, ashamed. She said too much. “Oh gosh, that’s horrible what I just said!” her eyes darted round the area. “I need to find my comedy mask, that why I’ll stop talking like this and be happy! Where is it? I swore I had it here somewhere, it’s not broken. Oh god, what if it is?! No, no, no! I need my comedy mask! I need it! I wanna stop feeling like this!”

“Gangle! You’re okay!” Zooble quickly caught Gangle’s flailing hands in theirs, holding them firmly yet gently. “You’re not a horrible person for saying that and I get what you’re trying to say. I know you don’t mean anything bad by it and I understand your frustration. Am I glad that bozo has his memories back, sure. But it doesn’t mean that I forgave and forgot all that he put us through, and you don’t need to either. If someone as weird as Jax can get his memories back, then someone as amazing as you can get yours back too.”

Gangle lips parted for a moment, speechless at the honesty in Zooble’s tone. “Y-you think I’m amazing?” she whispered.

Zooble’s voice got caught in her throat, her entire face flustering up as she removed his hands from Gangle’s. “Well, yeah,” they replied nonchalantly. “You don’t overwhelm me like Caine or annoy me like Jax. Plus I like your acts you put on.”

Gangle practically beamed at that, “You like my acts?”

“Hehe, of course,” Zooble’s eyes gleamed. “You got a real talent for that.”

The masked lady giggled, “You know, for someone who doesn’t think they’re good at soft stuff, I think you did a pretty great job with talking to me.”

“Oh,” Zooble blushed, clearing their throat before mumbling, “Thank you. And your comedy mask, you wanna leave it or…”

“No I can’t leave it,” Gangle quickly told her. “Everything just gets too much in here, I need my mask to make it easier, to make me happier. That way I won’t bring everyone down and I’ll be as happy as I need to be.”

Zooble furrowed his brows at Gangle’s statement, “But you don’t bring-”

“Oh, I think I know where it is!” Gangle grinned. “I’ll be back soon! Thank you Zooble!” She then tore off down the hall, all the way back to the bedroom quarters.

“Wait but…” Zooble reached out an arm to her, but Gangle was already gone. “But you don’t need your mask to be happy.”

They sighed. They had seen Gangle smile without the mask, a real genuine smile that wasn’t forced by some code from the character model forced onto her. If anything, Zooble swore that the mask only made things worse for Gangle, making her rely on it more and more. Zooble wished to see that real smile again.

Their train of thought was interrupted by the sound of a group of voices, tired and groaning. She turned, looks like the adventure was over for today. “Jeez, what happened to you guys?” they asked.

“Football stadium adventure,” Ragatha mumbled, rubbing her lower back. “Turns out when you put four inexperienced players against a group of NPC’s coded with tons of knowledge about it, you tend to face a lot of back pain.”

Zooble hissed through his teeth, “Yikes.”

“But it’s all a part of the adventure!” Caine boomed, making them all jump. “After all! How boring would it be if you didn’t learn at all!”

“You couldn’t at least give us a tutorial?” Jax grumbled. “Was that really too hard for you to do dentures?” He wasn’t really angry for himself. Well, he was. But Pomni had a really hard time on her feet during the whole game, easily being outnumbered and beaten by the NPC’s.

At one point, one of them kicked her in the leg instead of the ball, sending her to the ground. For a moment, Jax had forgotten all about the pretending, tackling the NPC to the ground before checking on his secret fiancé. Thankfully, Caine saw it as Jax thinking they were playing soccer (despite him literally kicking the ball for hours on end) and being a good teammate. Jax had never been more thankful for the AI’s naivety, especially when it gave him a chance to take Pomni to a nursing room and dressing her wound (he wouldn’t forget about how her cheeks turned red when he kissed the side of her bandaged knee).

“Anyhow!” Caine fiddled with his cane before tossing it away, a cartoonish sound effect resonating from where it landed. “I suggest you all rest up! We’ve gotten even more adventures planned for tomorrow and you’ll all need a good feast and rest before that!”

“Oh great, its not as if we heard that line before,” Jax muttered. Pomni crossed her arms over her chest, raising a brow at the rabbit. Jax only grinned, rolling his eyes at the pair of dentures before circling his finger at the temple of his head, clearing stating his opinion of the ringmaster. Pomni scoffed, failing to hide a smile at her fiancé. Jax’s face softened, he’ll never get tired of making her smile.

 “I’ll leave everyone to themselves before dinner!” Caine boomed with his usual, yet unsettling, toothy grin. “Take care my superstars!”

Like the same song and dance he had done many times before, the pair of dentures vanished in a puff of smoke. Jax waited a few seconds, making sure that the ringmaster was gone before rushing over to Pomni. “How’s your knee? Does it still hurt?” he asked, brushing his hand over the bandage.

“Yeah Hun I’m okay,” Pomni reassured him, petting behind his ears. “I’m sure it’s just a bruise now with the way things work here.”

His brows furrowed worriedly, “You sure? No more aches?”

“No more aches,” Pomni repeated.

“Good, good,” Jax let his thumb brush over the bandaged skin one more time before standing up. “So, you ready to get back to business.”

Pomni took in a sharp breath, both excitement yet a hint of nerves washing through her, “Yeah, let’s go see my Mom.”

Jax nodded, the two of them going down the hall again, unable to feel the gaze of everyone else’s eyes on them.

“Still having doubts Rags?” Zooble turned to the ragdoll.

“A little bit,” Ragatha nodded, a bit of shame shown on her face. “It’s not that I don’t trust them. I guess I’m just…scared. We never had anything like this. It could go either really well or…” She didn’t want to finish that sentence. She didn’t want to finish that thought! Never before had they tittered on a tight rope so close to collapsing. If this went wrong, then all of them could suffer a fate worse than abstraction. No, no she wasn’t going to think about that. It she was brought down, then so would everyone else. And she wasn’t going to allow herself to act so selfishly, “Never mind, how about I go see if Bubble would like help making dessert?”

Zooble frowned at Ragatha’s shift in mood, “Don’t do that.”

“Do what?” Ragatha questioned innocently.

“You always do that, act like you’re not sad when you are,” Zooble told her. “You’re allowed to not have good days, you know that right?”

“Oh Zooble, you worry too much,” Ragatha patted his arm. “I’m absolutely fine, no bad thoughts in my head whatsoever. Now, I think a pie would do well for dessert for tonight, don’t you think?”

With that, the ragdoll turned on her heel and headed to the kitchen. That was two people in a row that pretended to be happy to Zooble. He hated when that happened, when they forced down any type of negativity in the fear of being abstracted. It wasn’t fair that this threat kept hovering over everyone’s head, and Zooble hated it that Caine didn’t do anything to sooth their worries, instead leaving them to wallow with shallow adventures that they all hated. It was another reason why Zooble felt bitter with Jax, he kept pushing them on the brink every single time while knowing how much they all feared the fate of the cellar, yet he never stopped. Zooble felt frustrated tears at the corners of her eyes, allowing them to fall. The others might be too scared to cry, but they didn’t want to (part of them was glad that Pomni felt the same way as well).

He felt a hand cover her shoulder, rubbing it carefully like a parent would do with their child. Zooble turned his hand, it was Kinger. His eyes didn’t meet theirs, still lost in his own worlds of chaos and insects. Yet his hands moved on their own, as though another part of his mind wanted to reach out and sooth them. Zooble sniffed, if they could smile then he would be smiling at Kinger right there and now. As crazy as it sounded in her head, Kinger somehow seemed to be the sanest of them all.

.

.

.

Knock, knock

Riley rushed to the door, opening it wide as it revealed the startled face of one Samual Abel. “Samual,” she gasped. “Thank you so much for coming! I’m so, so sorry!”

“Miss Riley, it’s okay,” he smiled softly. “I already told you I forgive you.”

“I know, I know,” Riley brushed back some of her red hair. “But you didn’t need to. You could have just accepted my apology and moved on, but you forgave me. Why? The way I spoke to you was awful.”   

Samual shrugged, “When I was a kid, my Dad always taught me that forgiveness is a heavy thing. Many people will feign an apology just so they can unburden themselves with forgiveness without actually being sorry. I don’t forgive a lot of people, I don’t think I can forgive some of the people at C&A for lying to me and letting Jason control me, I know that if they said sorry it wouldn’t erase all that happened over the years. But you, you didn’t know. You were tricked and I know that you meant how sorry you were. That’s the difference that my Dad taught me about, I’ll know the right people to forgive and not to bring myself down with the people I don’t choose to give that right to.”

This kid was just too kind, speaking with a wisdom many people who lived longer on this earth lacked, “Your father sounds like a good man.” Not many people have that luck.  

“Both he and my mother were great people,” Samual’s eyes were warm, lost in a memory of love and comfort from so many years ago. He blinked them away, his face simple yet determined. “Anyways, you got something to show me?”

Riley nodded, slipping back into business, “Yeah, let me introduce you to my Mom. She’s the one who got the messages.”

She led Samual into the house, shutting the door behind him. Amber came into the room, her hands clasped together and a cardigan wrapped around her shoulders. “Oh, hello,” she blinked in surprise at the sight of the boy. She turned to Riley, “Is this Samual?”

“Yeah, this is him,” Riley confirmed.

“Hi, it’s so nice to meet you,” Amber walked over, wrapping her arms around him, his eyes widening in surprise. “Riley told me what happened, I’m so sorry all this happened to you.”

He stood frozen for a moment, as though he wasn’t used to someone wanting to hug him back. But his arms wrapped tight around Amber like Riley expected, burying his face into her shoulder. He was shaking a bit, she couldn’t hear any sobs but Riley was certain that the kid hadn’t received this level in security in a while. Hopefully with how things were going so far, that would change soon enough. Soon, Samual pulled away, trying to still his shaking hands. “Right, so,” he took a step back, his hands shoved into his pockets. “Ready to get to work?”

Amber nodded, grinning, “This way.” She guided him to the sofa, letting him sit down as the computer switched on next to him. “It was so bizarre. I’m not sure what your experience was like, all I know from Riley was that you only received messages.”

Samual lifted a brow, “I guess yours had more to it.”

“Yes,” Amber confirmed. “Before I got the messages, all my lights were flickering, like something or…someone was controlling it. That’s when I got these.” Once the computer was up and functioning, Amber clicked onto the documents that held the words from her daughter.

Samual shifted closer, “Yeah, this is certainly…different. I only got emails, but it looks like someone wrote this if it’s on a document.”

“That’s the thing,” Amber turned to him. “I don’t know how but Penny was in this room. I couldn’t see or feel how but she was there, controlling the lights and writing to me.”

Samual’s eyes widened, no disbelief was seen but rather surprise at this new revelation, “Your daughter is trying to communicate with you. She even managed to be here with you somehow.”

“Yes, yes!” Amber exclaimed, grinning. “She was right here in this room.”

“But you said not physically?” Riley asked, her tone curious rather than accusatory.  “She managed to speak to you but her body wasn’t here?”

“Unfortunately,” Amber’s face fell slightly.

“So wherever she is, she’s still trapped,” Riley sighed.

Samual got up, facing the two women, “But it doesn’t seem impossible to find her. If she managed to get here the first time than its possible that she could come back.”

Riley bit her lip, “But how would we know?”

“Riley’s right,” Amber agreed. “I might have spoken to her then but I don’t know how to get in contact with her again-”

The lamp flickered, the trio’s attention focused in on it. “I’m guessing that wasn’t my eyes playing tricks on me?” Riley observed, her toes curling at the thought of who she hoped it was.

“Nope,” Amber’s grin returned, whipping back round to the computer. “Penny, is that you baby?”

Hey Mom

I’m back

Riley’s hands covered her mouth, her knees dropping to the ground, “Penny? Is that really you?”

Unbeknownst to Riley, Pomni had done the same thing. Matching her sister as she tried to stifle a sob, “Hey Jax, do you mind?”

The rabbit chuckled behind her, watching the exchange go down. There were no memory-like pathways this time, just a simple walk through the door and they arrived right back in the living room, “Yeah babe, I got it.”

She’s here, she just got a little overwhelmed seeing you all again

Hi Mrs Reed

It’s good to see you again

Amber brows furrowed in confusion for a moment before realisation struck. There was only one other person that she knew who disappeared the way her youngest daughter did, “Jack?”

Yup, that’s me

Hope you’re not too disappointed

The older woman let out a breathless laugh, about to reply with how happy she was to see him…until she was interrupted by another voice, “YOU SON OF A BITCH!”

Jax’s ears pressed flat against his head as Riley stood from the ground, fury written all over her face. Pomni, Amber and Samual had to take a few steps away from the raging woman.

“YOU TELL MY SISTER THAT YOU DON’T WANT TO MARRY HER AND TRY TO MOVE AWAY ON THE DAY OF YOUR WEDDING! WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU!” Riley screamed loudly. “YOU’RE SO LUCKY I CAN’T SEE YOU OTHERWISE I WOULD RIP OFF BOTH YOUR ARMS AND LEGS AND FEED THEM TO WOLVES WHILE WATCHING YOU BLEED OUT!”

Jax gulped, he should have known this was coming. After all he heard from Winter how Riley slammed someone’s head against a table just because they looked at Penny funny, if he wasn’t in the circus he would be on a missing poster by now. He took a deep breath, typing away on the keyboard.

You’re allowed to be angry

Furious

What I did was unforgivable and I understand if you won’t forgive me

But please understand then when I say sorry, I mean it

I’m so sorry Riley

For hurting your sister the way I did

For everything

Riley crossed her arms as she scowled, letting herself think long and hard about it, emphasise on long (she wanted to make him suffer at least a little bit). Jack was an asshole for what he did, but she knew what he went through as a kid and how hard he tried to make things right both for himself and for everyone else. She looked to Samual, the boy giving her a smile and a thumbs up before she turned back with a sigh, “Thank you for your apology.”

Jax’s stomach did a flip. There was a thank you, but no forgiveness. It was expected, a bit disappointing, but also a good start.

You’re welcome

Riley’s face turned soft again, shifting her feet on the rug below her, “Penny, are you…can you speak to me?”

Pomni clenched her hands, grinning and trembling with excitement as she rushed over to the computer.

Hey Riles

Please don’t kill Jack when we get back

Riley sniffed, wiping a stray tear from her cheek, “I’ll try not to, but I’ll do it for you Pen. Oh my god I missed you so much.”

Pomni bit back her sob, if she missed her mother so much already, then the weight of missing Riley hit like a bag of bricks.

I missed you too

You’re making me cry Riles

“I can’t help it,” Riley laughed. “You’ve been gone for three months.”

I know

You have no idea how much I wanna hug you all – Penny (did that so you can tell who you’re talking to)

Jax hummed, amused by her quick choice, “Smart.”

She gave the rabbit a quick grin before she turned her gaze to the boy in the living room, tilting her head curiously.

Who’s that guy?

Jax followed her gaze, letting out a small gasp of realisation at who it was, “Samual Abel?!”

“Wait, you mean-?” she realised now who he was talking about.

“Penny, Jack,” Riley walked over to the boy. “This is Samual Abel, son of Kaleb and Quinn Abel. He’s gonna be helping us get you home.”

“Uh, yeah,” Samual replied nervously. “Hi again Mister Jack, nice to meet you Miss Penny. Um, I’m really sorry I couldn’t do more for you when Jason came up to you that day Jack.”

Jax frowned as his fingers reach for the keyboard again.

It was nobody’s fault but my own kid

I was the one who took up Jason’s offer

Don’t beat yourself up about it – Jack

“Copycat,” Pomni stuck her tongue out at him.

Jax chuckled, “Couldn’t help it little lady,”

“But I should have done something!” Samual stood so fast it nearly gave him whiplash. “Jason always does this! He knows it’s dangerous when people touch that stupid game! The moment he said where he was sending you I knew what job he was talking about! I could have stopped all this!”

Riley faced the boy, confused, “Game? What game?”

“That fucking game!” he cursed. “It’s been the root of all of our problems yet he never got rid of it! It started small with people disappearing in the company with headsets left behind, but then it started spreading somehow to the public! And now we lost the file! It keeps jumping from place to place and we can never catch it! All because Jason was too stubborn to get rid of it!”

“Sam, Sam, hey,” Riley clicked her fingers in front of his face, his attention solely focused on her. “What game are you talking about.”

Samual’s buried his face into his hands, a stressed groan leaving his mouth, “It was supposed to be a VR remake of the first game my dad made, but Jason kept making too many shaky choices with it. Then my parents disappeared. I hate that game… ‘The Amazing Digital Circus’.”

Pomni gasped, “That was the game I saw when I tried to find you!” She turned to Jax, “We’re stuck inside the game!”

“I-I remember!” Jax clenched his hands. “When I disappeared! That was the file I saw!”

It fell on deaf ears. “The reason why Jason wanted to send Jack away was because that was where the last person went missing, the last time we saw the file,” Samual told them. “He wanted to send Jack there as a way to retrieve the file and get back to working on the game again, even if he knew it wasn’t safe. Unfortunately the file routed its way back to this city and took Jack with him.”

“And then it took Penny,” Amber whispered.

“Okay,” Riley gathered herself, her mind settling back into business. “Jason sent Jack away and lied to everyone for all these years. That wasn’t your fault Samual.”

“But I-” he tried to speak.

“You told me that whenever you tried to speak up to talk to someone then Jason would get in the way and scare you into stopping,” she stated firmly. “Don’t blame yourself because a grown man was enough of a coward to bully a child.”

He looked like he was about to retort, but a stern glare from Riley was all that he needed to heed what she said, “Ok Miss Riley.”

“Next,” she moved on. “What should be our second course of action.”

Pomni quickly moved back to the computer.

No one else in the circus has their memories

Is there a way we can try and help them get them back? – Penny

“Oh, oh wait!” Samual piped up, an idea bright in his mind. “I overheard Jason talking about this. He has USB files of each person that went missing, including their past leading up to this point.”

“You overhear a lot of stuff kid,” Riley crossed her arms. “I didn’t mean that as a criticism, just observing.”

“Hehe, well, when you’ve been isolated from everyone and everything all your life you tend to get a bit bored,” Samual replied with a wry smile. “Case in point, eavesdropping on the guy you’re suspicious off in order to gather information.”

“So if we get the USB files and hook them into this computer,” Amber started to catch on.

“It could help get their memories back,” Samual finished. “I’ll get to see if my parents are there!”

“This is amazing!” Amber cheered. “Well, not fully amazing because their all still stuck but we’re getting somewhere. Oh wait till Winter hears about Jack being alive!”

A wide grin appeared on Jax’s face. Winter, his sister, he could finally see her again! Reassure her that he was alive-

“-Wait! No, no!” Riley quickly interjected, making everyone become quickly confused at her sudden outburst. “We can’t tell Winter, not yet at least.”

Amber blinked in surprise, “Honey, she’s your wife. She’s been missing Jack for so long, she needs to know the truth.”

Pomni watched as Jax’s ear twitch, a slight scowl was on his face. He didn’t like this one bit.

 “I know that,” Riley said. “But you weren’t there when Jack was gone. She went nearly catatonic, unable to move, speak or eat. The devastation of losing him for so long nearly broke her. We nearly lost Percy in birth because of the impact. I…I can’t risk that happening again.”

A slow, angered breath released through Jax’s nose as he started to type again.

This is a mistake Riley

Winter deserves to know

You can’t keep this from her – Jack

Riley shook her head, “I’m doing this to protect her. It’s for her own good Jack.”

He wasn’t convinced, turning away from her. Riley shouldn’t have to make that choice for Winter, it wasn’t fair! She needed to know, not be kept in the dark!

Pomni patted his hand softly as she went to the keyboard.

But he’s right Riley – Penny

“I’ll tell her eventually,” Riley reassured everyone. “J-just not now, until I know for sure that everything will be fine.”

Pomni sighed. Riley was as stubborn as they came, there was no changing her mind with this.

Both rabbit and jester jumped when they heard the dinner bell ringing from outside the exit door. It was time to go.

We have to leave

You better know what you’re doing Riley – Penny

“What? But you just came back!” Riley cried.

Amber put a hand on her daughter’s shoulder, “Don’t worry. If this interaction has proved anything, they’ll be back.”

Riley was unconvinced, but if there was anyone she trusted more than anything, it was her mother. “Ok,” she nodded, “Just…please be safe Penny.”

I will

And like that, both rabbit and jester rushed out the door. They were able to make it on dinner on time, and Caine was none the wiser about what happened. But despite the feast laid out in front of him, everything that Riley said left a bitter taste in Jax’s mouth. After Penny, Winter was the one he was closest to out of anyone in his life. He might not have been the greatest person, but Winter was the furthest thing from bad. She was the reason that he started to believe that good things could happen in his life, and now Riley was refusing to tell her that he was here and alive.

It felt so wrong.

Pomni’s hand was on his leg, still yet reassuring. It was a silent confirmation that she was on his side about this. He laid his hand atop hers, making sure it was out of Caine’s sight. He squeezed it, hopefully things would be okay…they had to be.

.

.

.

“Riley…”

Black, everything was black.

“Riley…”

It was like she was stuck in inky tar, unable to move her feet, stuck in the black substance.

“Riley.”

She looked up, the redhead gasped as she saw one very familiar, visible figure.

“Penny?” Riley’s voice sounded louder in her ears.

The brunette was wearing the same outfit Riley had last seen her in, a plain white T-shirt and grey leggings. Though it looked dirtier than she last remembered, and why were her eyes shut?

“Why did you leave me?” Penny’s voice echoed.

Riley was startled by the sudden statement, “What?”

“You’re my big sister,” Penny mumbled. “You’re supposed to protect me…yet you didn’t.”

“No, Penny I didn’t mean for you to get trapped!” Riley yelled out for her. “I’m doing everything I can to bring you home!”

“You said you would always be there for me,” Penny whispered back. “You said that no matter what happens I would be safe if you were there…but you weren’t…you didn’t save me…you’re a liar.”

“I’m so sorry Penny,” Riley sobbed, hands on her leg as she tried to pull them out, but to no avail. “I’m really sorry!”

“Liar,” Penny repeated.

“Liar!”

“LIAR!”

“L̷̩͚̯̲̖͖̙͔̹̬̮͉̲̝̑̊̀́ͅỈ̸̢̹̝̝͓͔̟̠̌́́̆͝Á̵̬͎͛̐̑̔̃̈́̓R̶̳̪̩̹̳̬̻̜̫͇̓̏̀͐͒͂̚͠͝͝”

Riley gasped, trying to run but she was frozen solid in the ink. Suddenly, the darkness was replaced by thousands of multicoloured eyes staring at her as Penny drew closer.

The brunette grabbed Riley by the collar of her shirt. It was nothing but silence.

Then her eyes opened.

Riley screamed when she saw that they were as hollow and black as the ink.

Penny opened her mouth again, the same ink leaking out from her lips as she screeched one more time.

Ļ̷̨̛͚̙̭̖̩̥̝͇̮̻̼͍͎̗͉͍̦͖̹͎͔͈̞̰̟̯̩̝̠̻̫͕̱̝̎͊̽̈́̇̀͊̄̑͋̅͊̔̄͒̃̀͌̈́̏̈͆͐̋̓͐̾͛̊̈́̈́́̏̋̀̄̏̈̚̚͘͘̕̕͠ͅÌ̶̧̧̧̛̛̪͔̝͚̫͎̝̬͈̺̫̭̱̞̹͖̞̹̳̻͖̫͉̋̓͋̈́̓͂͗͐̈́̐̈͐̒͗͆̏͛̈̏͌͗͑̈́̐͐̔̂̊͊́͆͆̒̓̾̀̀̾͘̚̕̕̚͜͝ͅͅA̷̢̧̛̛̻̳̞̬̟͇̟̟͉͔̻̻͙̩̣͈̖̘͙̪̱͎̰͙̝͚̣͈̓͒̎͛̆̓̋͌̅̈́͂̏̎̈́̅̍̈̈́̆̕͜͝͠͝ͅR̴̡͈̞͔̮̻̩͋͂͑̚ͅ

.

.

.

Riley awoke with a scream tearing from her throat, her hands fisting the bed sheets beneath her. She failed her, she failed Penny, she couldn’t save her, she was nothing but a failure-

“Riley, Riley!” Winter reached out, taking her wife’s hands in hers. “It’s okay, see, everything is ok.”

Riley was still trembling, tears streaming down her cheeks.

“Breathe with me babe,” Winter told her, taking deep breaths in and out again. Riley gulped down a sob, repeating her wife’s pattern. Eventually, she breath was even again and she was calm enough to see her surroundings. There was no ink, no eyes. She was in her bedroom with Winter as the other woman turned the lamp on beside the bed. “It’s okay, it was just a nightmare.”

She was about to bring Riley back into her arms, before the redhead pulled away and stood up, “Sorry I didn’t mean to wake you. I’ll go sleep in the guest room, to let you rest before work.”

“No, wait, Riley!” Winter shouted as her partner gathered up her pillow and a spare blanket. “I just wanna talk, you don’t have to do this.”

“I want to get some sleep before work, alright? Conversation over,” Riley stated, gathering what she needed in her arms before marching to the door.

“Riley enough!” Winter yelled, making Riley freeze in her tracks still facing the door. “We can’t keep doing this.”

“Doing what?” she retorted bitterly.

“You avoiding me,” Winter told her. “Especially when you’re hurting. You can’t keep pretending that I don’t exist just because you’re too scared to talk about Penny.”

Riley bit her tongue, nearly drawing blood, “I’m not scared Winter. Stop it.”

“Where were you last night?” Winter questioned, unrelenting. “Yesterday you wouldn’t answer your phone after I tried calling you for hours. Where were you?”

Riley couldn’t say, she couldn’t. If Winter was told about Jack, she feared about what could happen. She still remembered Winter’s pale face, nearly slipping in and out of consciousness during Percy’s C-section. She nearly lost both her wife and her son that day. She couldn’t tell her, it’s for her own good.

“My mom’s house, my phone was on silent,” she said, her voice void of emotion. “I’m tired.”

She slammed the door behind her, leaving Winter all alone. The black-haired woman brought her knees to her chest, too exhausted to cry. Too tired to keep having these moments with Riley. She would give anything just to have her wife back.

.

.

.

“Well good morning little lady,” Jax bowed as he walked out of his room the next morning. “And how was your sleep last night?”

“Aren’t we supposed to be subtle?” Pomni placed her hands on her hips. “Cause as far as I can’t tell, I don’t think this is what it’s supposed to be.”

“But it made you smile, right?” he smirked.

Pomni blushed, he was right, she was smiling, “Shut up.”

He chuckled, nudging his head to the direction down the hallway, “Hungry?”

“Yeah, I could eat,” Pomni nodded. She was about to walk beside him when she noticed something in the corner of a door from one of the past circus members. She cocked her head to the side as she inspected it further.

Jax paused in his tracks when he noticed that his fiancé wasn’t next to him, “Pen?” He saw her staring at the door of an old string-worm character, coming up behind her carefully so he wouldn’t spook her. “What is it?”

“Do you see that?” she inquired.

“See what?” he asked.

She pointed to the corner, “That.”

Jax’s eyes squinted as he followed her fingers, they widened when they finally noticed what Pomni was talking about. The corner was glitching, similar to how Ragatha was when Kaufmo attacked her on the jester’s first day. “How is this possible?” Pomni observed.

“I…I don’t know,” Jax replied honestly. “I don’t think we’ve seen anything like this.”

Suddenly, the glitch sparked wildly and loudly, making them jump back in surprise. It started to spread across the door, erasing the face of the string worm with its flashing colours. Jax held Pomni protectively, guiding her away from the door as they stepped away slowly. They watched as little by little, it swallowed up the door, before disappearing entirely.

Both of them panted in surprise, this wasn’t good. It wasn’t good at all. “I think we need to hurry with our escape plan,” Pomni told the rabbit holding her.

“Agreed,” Jax nodded. “We’re on a timer Pomni.”

“The question is how long do we have?” her voice shook slightly, gripping onto him.

“Long enough for us to get out of here,” he told her, reassurance in his voice. “That much I know.”

“O-okay,” Pomni hated that she was stuttering, but the sudden fright of what happened didn’t seem to be letting go of her anytime soon.

“Come on, let’s get downstairs before Caine tries to find us,” Jax stood, holding out his hand and helping up the jester.

While the two walked down the hallway, they couldn’t ignore the sinking feeling of what just happened. Did they really not have enough time? Was it just another strange part of this world?

Those questions rung through their mind as they walked down the hall, unaware of a second little glitch behind them in another little corner of the hall.

[honeylations]

Can you write for chanelle x fem!reader?

CHANELLE MOON x FEM!READER

Prompt: You’re trying to get over the rejection of your crush when Chanelle Moon enters your life to prove that there’s another chance of feeling love

Warnings/Notes: another University au, heartbroken reader, slight Yunahxreader, continuing the soccer player Chanelle character💅🏼

———

‘I’m sorry Y/n, but I like someone else. We can still be friends right?’

Those words echoed painfully in your head as you saw your crush, Noh Yunah, having a conversation with Moa at a bench close by. Yunah’s eyes met yours, giving a small wave in hopes you would finally notice her after literally ghosting her messages since your confession.

You looked away with a tug at your heart, knowing that interacting with Yunah would bring you even more hurt. She was your best friend since childhood and it was heart breaking to know that you basically ruined that relationship by stupidly telling her that you had feelings for her.

“Hey, stop looking at her” Jiwoo warned, tapping her pen at your knuckles.

“Sorry” You muttered into your arm.

“And stop listening to Exile by Taylor Swift on repeat. It’s not healthy” Yunjin hissed, pausing the song on your phone and taking your earbuds off.

“Y/n, it’s gonna be okay” Chaewon softly said while running your back in slow circles.

“Easy for you to say. You and Yunjin are basically high school sweethearts”

“Not everyone has the same love story, Y/n” Yunjin said with a sigh.

“By the way guys” Jiwoo cleared her throat. “I have a partner assignment in my English unit so basically my buddy will be joining us for lunches from now on to work on our project. Is that alright?”

Everyone nodded while you continued moping.

“Sure! Who’s your partner?” Funa asked.

“Chanelle Moon. Yunjin you know her right?”

Yunjin nodded with a mouthful of tteokbokki that Chaewon fed. “That’s my bestie!!”

“She’s coming here right now, everyone behave and look presentable! Especially you” Jiwoo whacked her pen at your head, making your groan.

You sat up and looked at the direction Jiwoo gestured at.

And oh my word.

A tall girl, long hair, superbly hot smile, wearing an oversized white shirt was walking towards your table. Everything seemed to be in slow motion and imaginary sexy music was playing in the background.

“Everyone, this is Chanelle Moon. She’s also a sport major, and runs the sports club on campus. Chanelle, you already know Yunjin and Chaewon but this is Funa and Y/n” Jiwoo introduced.

“Hi, it’s nice to meet you!” Funa greeted with a wave.

“Hey” You simply said with a small smile.

Chanelle tilted her head at you. “You seem familiar…oh! You’re the girl I always see with Yunah, right?”

“Uh yeah”

“Are you guys dating?”

You wanted to die.

Jiwoo quickly pulled onto Chanelle’s sweater and whispered. “Y/n had a crush on her and confessed but got rejected. That’s why she looks like a mess”

Chanelle slowly nodded and sat beside you, setting her backpack underneath the table. “Oh I see, my bad. She doesn’t look like a mess to me though. Still very pretty” She whispered back before turning to you again.

“Nice hoodie by the way, Y/n. I love Taylor Swift” She pointed at your merch from Taylor’s last concert.

Your ears perked up like a puppy at her words. “You listen to Taylor too?!”

“Absolutely! She’s my anthem”

“No way, what’s your favourite song?”

Your friends seemed to be surprised at your sudden burst of energy as if you weren’t complaining like some crazy sad woman a few minutes ago. Yunjin leant her lips close to her girlfriend’s ear. “They’re cute together”

“Don’t ruin their moment, babe” Chaewon giggled.

“Enchanted will always be my favourite” Chanelle said, sending an awfully attractive smile to you.

And for some reason, you felt your mood get a little better.

[Time Skip brought to you by…DESTINYZ]

After a few weeks and during more lunch breaks, you and Chanelle find yourselves talking more than her working on the partner project with Jiwoo. Jiwoo even had to tell you off for apparently trying to sabotage her grades but deep down, she was all on board with Yunjin, Chaewon, and Funa on the ChanY/n ship.

You were doing well in forgetting about Yunah, but it went downhill when Chanelle invited you to watch her at soccer practice that was for an upcoming sport event on campus. You forgot Yunah was part of that team and was involved in all events.

You were sat down with your friends on the bleachers while the soccer team was warming up. Yunah smiled when she spotted you within the small audience, taking a few steps towards you to finally talk after being ghosted but Chanelle beat her to it. The half American jogged your way, her smile getting impossibly wider.

“Hey Y/n! I’m so happy to see you here. Even though it’s just for my practice but still, I appreciate it a lot”

You smiled back, waving a container of fruit in her face. “Anything to support you, Chanz. Here’s some fruit I prepared for you”

She happily accepted the container with sparkling eyes and wrapped her arms around your waist for a tight hug. “Wow, all for me? You’re so sweet, thank you!”

“We’re here too you know” Chaewon grumbled with crossed arms.

“Oh thank you guys too for coming! We’re starting our practice matches now. Talk to you later!” Chanelle quickly waved and ran back to her team, popping one strawberry into her mouth.

Yunah clenched her jaw at the interaction, seeing Chanelle place the fruit container beside her water bottle. “Since when did you and Y/n start talking?”

“What’s it to you? You broke her heart” Chanelle fired back.

“She’s my best friend”

“She’s my best friend too. Don’t take it personally Yunah, I met her through Jiwoo.”

Yunah huffed and scratched her ear. “Do you like Y/n or something?”

“And why do you care?”

“Just protective of her, that’s all” Yunah shrugged that got Chanelle chuckling.

“Hey, Y/n is free to like whoever she wants. I’m just trying not to let an opportunity slide” Chanelle said and ran to the centre of the field.

The two teams got into position, Yunah and Chanelle standing by the ball, awaiting the coach’s whistle. The moment they heard the ring, the teams starting playing as the timer began.

Chanelle managed to snatch the ball from Moa and run her way down the large field, sending a big kick into the goal. She pumped her fist into the air before pointing at you.

“That’s for you, Y/n!” She yelled, sending you into a blushing mess.

“She totally likes you” Funa muttered in your ear.

“And I think I’m starting to like her too” You smiled, shaking your head at Chanelle who was now dancing to celebrate her little goal.

After a few more matches, Chanelle shot her 10th goal just before the coach blew the whistle to end the game.

“Great practice girls! Chanelle, you totally smashed it out there, very proud of you” Coach praised the half American, patting her back.

Chanelle bowed before taking her belongings and running towards you, engulfing you in another huge hug, spinning you around.

“Yah, put me down!” You laughed.

Yunah, having enough, stomped your way and yanked Chanelle away from you. “Y/n!”

“What the hell, Yunah?” You scoffed.

“Why are you talking to Chanelle? Why are you hanging out with her besides me? I’ve been texting and calling you!”

“Why does that matter to you? I just needed time off after being rejected by you!”

“I said we could still be friends!”

You sarcastically laughed at her words. “You’re making it sound like that would easily fix the hurt you caused me, you just don’t understand do you Yunah?”

“Hey, can we all calm down and talk this out like proper adults?” Chanelle stepped in the middle, placing a hand softly on Yunah’s shoulder only for it to get shoved away and a fist was thrown into her face.

“This is all your fault! If she didn’t meet you, she could still be hanging out with me!” Yunah yelled.

Chanelle got back up and tackled Yunah to the ground, sending more blows to her face.

“Chanelle stop!” Yunjin screamed, grabbing her best friend by the shoulders to fully pull her off.

You placed your palm at the centre of Chanelle’s chest. “Chanz, please. Let it go”

With a clenched jaw, Chanelle grabbed your hand and looked at Yunah one last time. “Fix yourself Yunah. I’m just trying to make Y/n happy again”

You both walked away from the field and to Chanelle’s dorm that she lived alone in. She got you to sit down on her couch while grabbing you a strawberry milk carton from her fridge. “Here. It’s an apology for what happened just then”

Accepting the beverage, you pulled Chanelle to sit next to you and lay your head on her shoulder. “You don’t need to apologise. Yunah got crazy”

“I’ve never seen her so angry. There’s no way she didn’t have feelings for you”

You shrugged. “She said she liked Minju”

“Her loss, but a win for me. I like you Y/n. Like ALOT” Chanelle said, grabbing your chin between her index and thumb.

“I think I like you too” You smiled, placing your drink onto the coffee table.

Chanelle arched a brow. “You think?”

“For a while, I’ve been hung up on Yunah and thought I’d never find anyone to move on to. After meeting you and getting close to you, I wanted to believe that I liked you because of you, not because I wanted to use you to forget about her. I’m sorry, that explanation was really bad, I’m so unsure with my words”

The taller gave that same heart twisting smile. “I hope this will help” She whispered and connected your lips softly.

You didn’t waste time in returning it, cupping the girl’s face with both hands and moving your mouths in sync. Chanelle pulled away first. “Did that work?”

“Definitely” you breathed out, leaning your foreheads together.

“I really like you Y/n”

“I really like you too, Chanz. You make me so happy”

“I’d give you the world if I could” she whispered and kissed your crown.

Your frowned when you saw the worsening bruise at the side of her eye. “Oh my god, it looks so bad”

Chanelle winced when your fingers gently brushed over it. “It’ll go away within a week. No biggie”

You rushed to grab an ice pack from her freezer and placed it over the bruise. “I’m so sorry she hit you. It’s not like Yunah”

“Is it that bad?”

You pulled the ice pack a few centimetres away to check. “It’s kinda hot actually” You said louder than intended. “Oh oops, that was supposed to stay in my mind”

Chanelle smirked and made you place the ice pack on the table. “It’s hot, is it Miss Y/n?” She taunted and made you sit on her lap.

Your face was redder than ever. It didn’t help that Chanelle was looking up at you with that stupid hot smirk of her’s. You wanted to kiss it away.

“Kiss it away then”

“I really need to stop speaking my mind” you groaned into her chest.

She brushed her fingers through your hair. “Hey Y/n, I know we kinda confessed already but I wanna ask you properly. Do you want to be my girlfriend?”

“Yes” you muttered into her chest, still embarrassed about what you said earlier.

“Oh come on, at least look at me when you answer”

You sat up and pouted. “I said yes”

“Yay! Y/n is finally my girlfriend~” She cutely cheered and hugged you like a plushie. “You don’t understand how happy I am”

“I’m so happy too, Chanz. Thank you”

“Aw don’t get mushy now. Let me take a shower and we can watch a movie on Netflix” She smiled at you.

“Wanna shower together?”

She dramatically gasped. “You haven’t even taken me out on a date yet!”

“What the- YOU’RE supposed to take ME out on a date! Some romantic loser you are” You scowled playfully.

“I’m kidding. Of course we can shower together!”

You rubbed her shoulders lovingly. “I don’t have spare clothes though”

“Idiot, you can use mine”

“Alright, Stinky. Let’s hit the showers”

“Don’t I get a reward for scoring all the goals tonight?” She pouted her lips at you and putting on her best puppy dog eyes.

“Ok fine” You chuckled at her cuteness and pressed your lips against her’s.

A/N: SAUR CUTE🥹🫶🏼✨

[roe-and-memory]

besties can i just say omg so i went thru ur blog obsessively bc i looove the ideas behind ur headcannons and little snipets of stories. i was wondering what bobby headcannons u guys have. also memory i loove ur writing and roe?? gorgeous fanart oml

AWWWWW THANK YOUU!!! rhis is so sweet 😭🫶🫶 i saw your comment on my fic thank u sm

im gonna be honest, we dont have many bobby hcs (i really wanna change that, i fucking ADORE bobby - and, if its any help, i actually have a fic up ((dont look back in anger)) where he’s a main character!! although its an au, i hope it’ll suffice for now :3)

- bobby is definitely a prankster, but like, hes NOTORIOUS for it. and not in the bad way. he has silly pranks that only mildly inconvenience the person on the receiving end (like the dumping water on lmq and cals heads after races) and he’s Always at the scene of the crime when something silly happens. he just Is the embodiment of silly. and yes i know this is canon for the most part but hes literally just so silly i cant not include it

- hes the youngest of the trio, the baby, even, he’s a december baby, born in 1988 (same year as lightning - cal is an ‘87 baby i believe - so when bobby started racing in 2007 he was still 18) but just at the End, whereas lightning was born in may . despite this he’s still the tallest, and probably the most well built of the three . aka lightning is scrawny and cal is just Average. and when lightning makes fun of him for being a Baby hes like ok well ure literally short as hell. what about that. huh? what can you do about your height? i’ll have a birthday but you dont have a get taller day? huh? and lightnings like. well. okay.

- i feel like he befriended cal first, like, he and lightning “hated” each other but it was less hate and more lightning being incapable of making friends (lmq and cal met at the infield care center after strips crash, so they were friends ever since then) and so cal was just in the middle of this “rivalry” that was in reality like. hey. cal. i think that bobby guy is really cool do u think he’d wanna be my friend. and cals like I DONT KNOW TALK TO HIM? and they talk and theyre like wow i actually thought u hated me (theyre best friends now)

- bobby both has an iconic autograph, but hes also so good with his fans its impossible for anyone to hate him. he has so many iconic pictures and literally everyone he meets praises him for his kindness and blatant silliness . hes just super easy going and generally amazing to be around

- out of all the racers hes probably got the most amusing advertisements as well, he will go ALL IN for whatever octane gain (or his smaller/secondary sponsors) want from him, and its so Genuine it just feels like he LOVES to be there

- he loves taylor swift. AND I KNOW WHAT YOURE GONNA SAY. “ITS STEREOTYPICAL” BUT NO U DONT GET IT.. SHE DOESNT MATCH THE REST OF HIS MUSIC TASTE AT ALL. hes the last person you’d ever expect to listen to her. he says its because they have the same last name so hes obligated to be a fan, but also the day Taylor Swift (album) debuted he bought the dvd and forced the other two to listen to the entire thing multiple times on a road trip and its safe to say that since the day taylor swift has existed, lightning and cal have feared her album release dates.

- hes the burnout king. every race he wins he will do a burnout down the frontstretch in front of the grandstands that will take his tires down to the RIMS. the tire marbles are INSANE

THIS IS ALL I HAVE IF I REMEMBER CORRECTLY 😭😭 i wish i had more and i WILL eventually make more trust me on that.. but thank you so much for the ask and i hope u liked them :3

[ghostradiodylan]

It's karaoke night. What songs do you think each of the hacketteers would sing?

I love this ask and I spent entirely too long thinking about it! Thank you!

Nick: “American Girl” - Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers. He’ll dedicate this one to Abi and play a whole lot of clumsy but enthusiastic air guitar during the instrumental breaks. He’ll also do really on-the-nose inside joke choices like “Werewolves of London” by Warren Zevon (he'll change 'London' to 'Melbourne' because he's really lame) or “Once Bitten, Twice Shy” by Great White.

Emma: “Style” - Taylor Swift. She just reads as a Taylor girlie to me and this one’s a classic. She could do "We Are Never Getting Back Together" but Jacob might cry. So, "Style" it is. Not too tough in range and it doesn’t require her to do the cringey rap-talking part she’d have to do if she picked “Shake It Off” (although that one would also be fun and maybe if Abi gets drunk enough she’ll join Emma onstage and do that part for her).

Jacob: he wants to pick “Don’t Stop Believin’” by Journey but it has been banned because basic bitches like him just keep singing it. If he’s still moping about Emma, he might choose “Somebody to Love” by Queen. If someone else gets to it first, then it’s The Killers' “Mr. Brightside” all the way until the bar bans that one too.

Kaitlyn: she almost always picks a song you can scream-sing to. She has some rage to get out, okay? Her go-to is either "I Love Rock 'n' Roll" by Joan Jett or "You Oughta Know" by Alanis Morissette. If you get enough alcohol in her for her to get in her feelings though, she might do Bonnie Tyler's "Total Eclipse of the Heart," as a treat.

Laura: "Dog Days are Over" - Florence + The Machine. Is that another werewolf joke? Yes, yes it is. She can't help being overjoyed to say goodbye to the (meat)dog days. She'd probably also absolutely crush "Help I'm Alive" by Metric.

Max: I will never recover from the post that said Max and Dylan would know every step from the JustDance version of “Rasputin” by Boney M (which I think is completely correct) so I’m picking that one for Max. However, if he gets a second song or he’s feeling extremely sentimental, he might do the Michael Bublé version of “L.O.V.E.” for Laura.

Abi: I think Abi's actual musical listening tastes might be a little moodier than this, but for karaoke she wants it light and easy, and it doesn't get much lighter or easier than ABBA. "Dancing Queen" or "Mamma Mia." She'd really like it if Emma would come sing backup for her so she doesn't have to go up by herself.

Dylan: He never does the same song twice; he wants everyone to be surprised every time. He's done Lady Gaga's "Poker Face. He's done "I Write Sins Not Tragedies" by Panic! At the Disco." He's done Katy Perry's "Teenage Dream." Tonight, it's "Still Into You" by Paramore.

Ryan: He can't believe he got talked into this. Ryan hates attention and doesn't really love the sound of his own voice. He would prefer to sit quietly and watch everyone else perform. Beer won't be enough, Ryan will have to drink an entire pitcher of LITs to be drunk enough to sing. Then he will sing "Love You Madly" by CAKE and absolutely slay. Dylan will be facedown on their table pretending to have fainted when he gets back.

Bonus: Duets!

Laura and Max have perfected their version of “Don’t Go Breaking My Heart” by Elton John and Kiki Dee. You should really see it. There’s choreo and everything.

Jacob and Kaitlyn will sing "I Believe in A Thing Called Love" by The Darkness. Nobody knows why. Neither of them has the upper range to pull it off and they know it. It's awful. They're just screeching. Ryan has to go outside until they're finished. His nerves can't take it. They have fun though.

Dylan would really like Ryan to duet with him on Peter Bjorn and John's "Young Folks," he'll even do the girl parts and the whistling! But Ryan's one and done at karaoke, and even that is asking a lot. Instead, Dylan and Nick duet The Proclaimers' "I'm Gonna Be (500 Miles)" in absurd and potentially offensive Scottish accents.

Emma and Abi end up duetting half the time when they're supposed to be doing their own songs anyway, especially when it's Abi's turn! Somehow Emma just ends up there too. But they do "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun" by Cyndi Lauper together with some frequency and they're great at it.

Bonus 2: Group Number!

You already know what it is. You know what's coming. You get it stuck in your head every time you play the damn game (don't you? I know it's not just me.) How could they not all sing Kelly Clarkson's "Stronger (What Doesn't Kill You)" together? Of course they do.

[dreamless-daydreamer]

TBB as Taylor Swift Songs - Character +Song Analysis Part 4

Thanks for all the love and support on my previous parts, It means the world to me that yall are enjoying these.

This one Technically isn’t a Taylor Swift song, but she did co-write it so I think it counts.

Crosshair - The Alcott

I wasn’t going to leave him for last, so here he is

Also, I am fully aware that Crosshair likely still has his chip or it had some lasting effects but Crosshair himself if under the impression that he was free of its control and everything he did was of his own free will, and that’s the mindset I’m approaching this with.

I get myself twisted-in threads

To meet you at the Alcott

I'd go to the corner in the back

Where you'd always be

And there you are, sittin' as usual

With your golden notebook

Writing something about someone

Who used to be me

Okay there’s so much to unpack here. Crosshair pulled all of these strings to get the batch back to the Kamino by the finale. And when they’re all together they refuse to listen to him they insist that he’s under the control of the chip and he has to break the news that he actually isn’t being influenced by the chip, this is who he really is.

I had to do something

To break into your golden thinking

So Crosshair views Hunter as someone who believes he’s always right and in the show Crosshair is able to completely crush Hunter with declarations of his failure and insistence that Hunter is wrong in everything. These words completely destroy Hunter, and I talked about the effect it had on him in part one. Whether or not Crosshair meant these words, it was the only way Crosshair was able to get through to him, to get him to pause.

How many times will I do this

And you'll still believe?

Throughout the entire first season the batch continues to hold the hope that Crosshairs under the effects of the chip, and even when they’re told it was removed they still struggle to believe that that’s who their brother really is.

It's the last thing you wanted (tell me, which side are you on, dear?)

It's the first thing you do (give me some tips to forget you)

The Batch never wanted to leave Crosshair behind and yet it’s all they did. They never came back for him.

You tell me your problems (have I become one of your problems?)

And I tell you the truth (could it be easy this once?)

Crosshair is “Severe and Unyielding” we see that he doesn’t shy away from the truth as much as it may hurt.

It's the last thing you wanted (everything that's mine is a landmine)

It's the first thing I'd do (did my love aid and abet you?)

Even if the batch left Crosshair behind it’s only because he betrayed them. It’s just as much his fault as it is theirs that they were split. Also. LANDMINE

And I'll ruin it all over

I'll ruin it for you

I'll ruin it all over

And over like I always do

Crosshair betrays the batch, and stays loyal to the Empire, and he does it with the intention for the whole batch to stay together within the Empire, and yet it doesn’t work. Even when he tries to help them in The Tipping Point it’s what leads to Techs death and Omegas capture. When he tries to hurt them, he hurts them. And when he tries to help them he still hurts them. He ruins it all over, for them, but inevitably ruins it, like he always does.

Happy Bad Batch Eve! Here’s one last analysis before it airs. TOMORROW. I’ll be avoiding spoilers so I’ll likely post one or two tomorrow without paying attention to my feed or notifications. I’ll check them again thursday night most likely. <3

[champagneglitteronthefloor]

Glitch

Pairing: Xavier Thorpe x fem!reader

Summary: reader is new at Nevermore university, another psychic like Wednesday. When a quick friendship with Xavier forms, reader agrees to help him make Wednesday jealous. Which essentially leads to more 🥰

Word count: 2.9k

Warnings: Smut, minors DNI. All the things are in this.

A/n: I’m definitely a reader before I’m a writer BUT I wanted to place this fantasy out there. My new obsession with the show Wednesday and Xavier Thorpe is insane. Credit to the creator of the gif. Also I did listen to Glitch by Taylor Swift while writhing, and would love to eventually do a mini series of Xavier to songs on the Midnights album. Send requests please I would love it!

“This is my secret place, too.” You heard a fairly deep voice behind you as well as footsteps through the grass. You were sitting on a a small dock you’d found looking out at the lake.

“Sorry about that.” You laughed.

“I’m Xavier. I already know who you are.” He held his hand out, which you shook while tucking a piece of hair behind your ear.

“Well I know I don’t come here to just sit. What’s on your mind?” He asked. As if he’d known you for years.

“Just thinking about my old school, my friends. About how I went from having all sorts of friends and hobbies, and I was happy. And then I had to come here.” You sighed with an honest answer.

It was not a good transition for you. You were a fencing champion at your last school, on the dance team. About as close to a normie an outcast could get. This put a huge target on your back at Nevermore.

“People haven’t exactly given you a fair chance here. And for that I’m sorry.” He replied.

“So what did you come here to think about?” You took Xavier off guard. “The girl with black braids and the guy at the coffee shop.” You replied. He had no idea you’d had a slight vision.

“How’d you know?” He asked.

“It’s easy to see.” You simply replied.

The two of you spent the rest of the evening sharing your feelings, two strangers. It was more him than you, telling you about the last couple weeks, how Wednesday had chosen Tyler over him. You pieced together this was the girl and guy in your vision.

Xavier walked you home that evening, the campus already empty when you got back to your dorm building.

“See you next time Xavier!” You waved with a smile. Your first friend at Nevermore. As Xavier walked away you fell into a deep vision. You could see yourself with Xavier. Him looking into your eyes with, you were trying so hard to see, with love? He was looking at you in love. His hands were on your face, and he was looking into your eyes with deep passion. With love. You snapped out of it.

“Hey are you okay?” Xavier was now running back to you to check on you.

“I’m fine!” You scurried up the stairs, missing a step and falling down. “Definitely still fine.” You ran off, to the sound of Xavier laughing.

That’s funny. Your visions were never wrong. However, this time it had to be. Xavier was in love with Wednesday. You heard him talk about her. You tried to brush it off. Definitely just a glitch.

The days went by, then the weeks, and you spent some days practicing archery with Xavier, or fencing while listening to that days drama about Wednesday and Tyler. It hurt you that he hurt. He was such a passionate person. He loved with all of his heart. You started to wonder if Wednesday was enjoying all of this. You didn’t know her, not at all, but from your view, you didn’t like how she made Xavier feel. That’s when the idea hit you.

“I could try to help you make Wednesday jealous.” You said as Xavier looked at you letting the arrow go at his target, hitting his target right in the middle.”

“Bullseye, that means this is the perfect plan.” You rubbed your hands together.

“You really think it would work?” Xavier asked after you explained the plan to him.

“Of course I think this would work.” You said confidently, hoping the plan didn’t backfire, because you were the absolute opposite person of Wednesday.

You made your way to the coffee shop where, thanks to your vision, you knew Wednesday and Tyler were having a date. You were out of your Nevermore uniform (thank goodness) and had yourself dressed up, and you had spent quiet the amount of time getting ready, in order to try to make the plan work.

You saw Xavier waiting at a table for you, directly across from Wednesday and Tyler. The plan was in motion. When you opened the door to the coffee shop your eyes made contact with Xavier’s first. Your hair was flowing down your back, your dress fit just right, he was looking at you. The world seemed as if it stopped for a moment when he looked into your eyes. This wasn’t part of the plan.

You snapped out of it and looked at Wednesday and Tyler who were obviously looking at you too.

“If I were you I’d look a little harder.” Wednesday said dryly while snapping an iced coffee straw open aggressively. Tyler then looked down quickly. The plan was getting out of control quickly. You decided to jump back on track.

“Xav!” You said as you slid into the table chair and he continued to look at you, just as before.

“Hey, I think I need to tell you-“ he started.

“Tell me how glad you are to see me for our date?” You said just loud enough for Wednesday to hear. “Me too.” You reached up and pushed your hand through his hair. You felt the little sparks. Impossible. He loves her.

“No I think I have had something change-“ Xavier started when the girl from the counter came over to ask if you had drink orders.

After ordering, Xavier continued to act weird. You eyed him questionably.

You looked over and noticed Wednesday and Tyler slipping out the door.

“Our plan failed.” You sighed.

“Can we take these to go?” Xavier asked, nervous, weird tone intact.

“I’m really really sorry. I thought it would work. I’ll find something to work. I really will.” You said with regret. You could tell by his demeanor something was off.

He never answered you. As you arrived back to the dorms you decided to walk up to his dorm with him for one more apology, sneaking, knowing you weren’t supposed to be there. Xavier’s room was empty and you walked in, so you wouldn’t be seen. You recognized the room. You’d seen it before.

“Say something.” You said. Afraid you’d ruined your only friendship at Nevermore.

“I HAVE BEEN TRYING TO TELL YOU THIS WHOLE TIME MY FEELINGS HAVE CHANGED AND I LOVE YOU AND NOT WEDNESDAY.” He said with raised voice. “I think that’s how it was always supposed to be.” He added on much more quietly.

Then he stepped over into a different light. This was it. This was your vision. He was looking at you with the deep passion he once looked at Wednesday Addams with. He put his hands onto your face just how he did in the vision.

“It’s you. Wednesday was always supposed to be with Tyler, because you were coming for me.” He was looking at you so deeply never breaking his gaze.

“And I thought my vision was a glitch.” You smiled wrapping your arms around him.

“Your what? I’m sorry I- we will address the fact that you didn’t tell me you’re a psychic later. I just want to take this moment in.” He looked at you with those big green eyes.

You knew you had loved him from the moment you laid eyes on him, you had been trying to block it out, knowing his infatuation with Wednesday.

This was when his lips crashed into yours, as if they were meant to be there. The kiss was deepened. You’d never been in a relationship where things started to move so quickly- physically. Were you even in a relationship with Xavier?

You were now sitting on his bed, under him, still kissing, your hands wrapped around his waist. He was so tall, so captivating, the kiss broke for only a moment for his green eyes to meet you’re again.

“We don’t have to go any further than this. I promise. We have nothing but time.” He said with great thought in his eyes.

“I wasn’t planning on it going this far, until it started too. Now I’m not sure if I can go back.” You admitted. You could feel his obvious indicator that he felt the same way.

“When will your roommate be home?” You asked him.

“I live by myself now.” He answered your question with the raise of his eyebrows.

“What about her?” You were starting to get in your own mind.

“Since the moment I met you, I knew the reason it didn’t work for myself and her.” He answered. Plus I know this is where I’m meant to be. You shot a questioning look.

“Well for one your vision led you here, for two, I drew this a couple of days ago.” He got up and pulled a paper off the desk, handing it to you.

You examined the paper. It was yourself, in the same outfit you were in, sitting in the same position you were just the moment before. You’d known the entire time Xavier was psychic too, obviously because of his famous father. You had no idea he drew his visions.

“This is amazing.” You said, somewhat speechless. Walking the paper back over to the desk you noticed many many pictures drawn of you, along with your headband you once left at school sitting at the top of the desk, and a photo you and Xavier took at fencing practice. Xavier turning red. Some other person might find this kind of borderline stalkerish, but you found it cute and intriguing.

“This has been going on a while hasn’t it?” You asked him.

“I drew you before you showed up.” He admitted.

“What about all the conversations we had about Wednesday and Tyler after you met me?” You asked.

“I think I still really dislike Tyler.” He chuckled. “But also you were trying so hard to help me with the issue that first brought us close, and I should’ve been honest about my feelings with you sooner.” He said with a slight look of worry on his face.

You decided not to say anything, bending down to kiss him still sitting on the bed, which you hardly had to bend because he was so much taller than you, even sitting.

You straddled him putting your forehead to his. Placing small kisses on his forehead and playing with his hair.

“You’re entering a point of no return here. Once you start this I won’t be able to go back.” He smiled.

“Like I said I have no desire to go back.” You winked.

Suddenly he was on top of you pulling at your jacket, getting it off. He popped your bra strap in one single motion. Yikes, this isn’t his first time here. Maybe you should’ve mentioned it was yours.

Somehow you still showed no nervousness, or fear, because this was right. Your dress was now over your head and in the floor, Xavier still fully dressed. You were unsure of what you were supposed to do. Were you supposed to take his clothes off? Nerves were striking a little. Your question was answered when his shirt hit the ground following the rest of his items.

He was now looking at you. All over up and down. You hoped more than anything he liked the picture in front of him.

“Did you draw this?” You asked him.

“No but I damn sure wish I would’ve.” He now crashed down onto you.

He placed kisses up and down your body finding the place he was initially looking for. As he was working his mouth, you tried not to squirm at the new sensation, as his tongue found the exact spot that made you arch. Your stomach dropped as he began to add a single finger, might you add a very long one, as his hands are huge. This drew an immediate moan out of you, which fueled him to add another, moving faster with his hands and his tongue.

You knew this was wrong, you weren’t supposed to be doing this right now. But it also felt so right. So right you felt like your body could burst up into flames. You could feel a burning in the bottom of your stomach. Uncontrollable sounds were coming out of you now. With no other experience to go by, you still knew what was about to happen.

With the scream of his name, you went over a cliff, an edge, that was such a new indescribable feeling to you. You could see the satisfaction in his eyes as he got into a new position, lining himself up with you.

“I cannot wait any longer.” He said breathlessly.

He had no idea in this moment he was about to take your last piece of innocence left. You had no intention to tell him, because you wanted it, and you were afraid you might mess it up.

You could taste an odd taste as he now was kissing you again, of yourself. But you were too ready for what was to come to think about that.

While deep in thought you could see Xavier now looking into your eyes, which made you a little nervous, how he never broke eye contact. This remained as he slowly pushed into you.

“My god, you are so tight, I can’t hardly even push in.” He groaned as you felt a pop. He stopped dead in his tracks and looked at you.

“You were a virgin?” He asked with a terrified tone. “And you didn’t tell me?” He continued to look at you in shock.

“I didn’t want to mess this up.” You admitted, him still inside you.

“Well I’m pulling out and we are going to discuss this.” He said, not very convincingly.

“Ummm Xavier, it’s already done.” You giggled a little.

“You have a point.” He giggled back with you, as he now was starting thrust a little, towering over top of you.

You looked at him, he looked like an angel to you. You knew everyone’s types were different, but this here, this was your type. Tall, lanky, pale, big green eyes. You looked at his long, long legs folded under him as he continued to thrust. Suddenly these thoughts escaped you, as all you could feel was him, hitting your g spot as hard as he could, letting the most attractive moans come from his mouth, which was bringing you closer to your edge as he said your name over and over.

“I can’t hold on much longer.” He warned you.

“Me either.” You responded, barely unable to respond.

“Are you on and form of..?” He started to ask.

You nodded your head as you remembered that you had indeed taken your pill this morning, that you had just started recently.

It all happened like a dream, you hadn’t really timed it, but it all timed out perfectly. Both of you reached your high at the same time, not realizing how noisy you were being. You were now coated inside with him, you were definitely marked by him, he was the holder of your virginity, and you wouldn’t have it any other way.

You didn’t even remember falling asleep on his chest, but you woke up the next morning in a frantic rush to get out of Xavier’s dorm, trying not to get in trouble.

“Babe, it’s okay.” Xavier said in his morning voice making you melt into a puddle. “The more spastic you act the more noticeable it’s going to be.” He laughed.

“Come here.” He said motioning told you. You walked over to him sitting up on the bed where he sat up and kissed you with a hug. You trusted Xavier, but the female in you couldn’t help wonder if you’d get up and leave and he’d never talk to you again.

“I promise I’m here for the long run.” He gave you that smile and bit at his bottom lip.

“Me too.” You gave him one last kiss and turned to the mirror.

You looked different. You could see the innocence lost in your eyes. You didn’t dislike it, you could just see it in yourself. Though you were very put together, you still could tell that you hadn’t gotten ready in your room as always. You turned to walk to the door, immediately face to face with Ajax who was about to knock on the door.

“I came to see if you two were ever coming out. What a surprise this is.” He said with a playful smirk.

“I was just-“ you started.

“Oh everyone in this building knows what you guys were “just” doing.” He laughed and patted you on the back. He looked at your neck at the huge spot left by Xavier, that you had honestly forgotten about.

“Wow.” He said wide eyes

You turned to Xavier, mortified.

“Meet me before class?” He asked.

“I’ll think about it.” You laughed as you passed Ajax going into the room.

While running to your room to get your makeup to cover your neck with, you couldn’t stop thinking of him. You were already counting the seconds until you saw him again. You were definitely in deep.

[timetoletmyimaginationfly]

Evermore Part 2

Nanami Kento x Reader

(Song: Evermore by Taylor Swift, Bon Iver)

Evermore Part 1

You sold the last of your furniture. You packed the last box. You have everything ready for the big move. You groaned. You needed a small duffle bag. And you threw one away two days ago. You groaned and left the apartment, in search for a decent sized bag.

The crisp, autumn breeze hit you. You mentally cursed at yourself for not bringing a jacket. You wanted to go back in, but you also didn’t want to walk back up the stairs to get it.

With a large sigh, you wandered around, finding a store to stop at. You couldn’t help but let your mind wander along with your body. You hugged yourself warm, imagining a pair of familiar, strong arms wrapped around you. Just the thought of him still makes your heart flutter. It still makes your chest heavy.

You missed hearing his voice. You missed his scent that made you feel like home. You missed his smiles, smiles that were always meant for you to see.

You broke out of your thoughts when your phone rang.

“Hello? Oh! MinHyuk!” you said, a smile appearing on your face. “I needed last minute things for tomorrow. Yeah, I’ll send you my location.”

As you did, you then searched the crowd. Your heart skipped a beat. You will always notice the tall blonde male. You will always notice the orange and black spotted tie with his blue button up. You will always notice his beige suit jacket and pants. But you pretended. Pretending that you never saw him. Believing that it was the only way for you to move on.

And once you saw your new boyfriend arrive, you felt happy again. He kissed your forehead and the two of you crossed the street with his arm wrapped around your shoulders to keep you warm. You couldn’t help but turn back around. He was already walking away.

You decided to give MinHyuk a chance. He was a celebrity from Korea and you still can’t believe that you were able to catch the attention from one. But, he is a sweet and caring man. Even after his tour in Japan, he found ways to pursue you. So you decided to give him that chance about a month ago.

And within that month, you decided that it was time to leave Japan behind. You wanted to at least listen to Nanami and his warnings. That maybe, you would feel relieved and maybe at peace with your own self. So, MinHyuk helped you. He helped you find an apartment nearby his and you job searched. He helped you fly to Korea and back home to Japan. He helped you move everything and you couldn’t be more grateful with his help, even though you kept declining it.

You wanted to step outside one more time before you leave. You walked everywhere, to all the places you loved going to with Nanami. You allowed the tears flow down as you walked down memory lane. You stopped at the bakery, the place where you two first met and where you fell in love. You remember walking with him for hours, just talking. Talking about everything as if you two were the best of friends.

You remembered him confessing his feelings and the life he truly lived. You remembered worrying about him every time he called you when he was on his way to a mission. You remember the relief when he returned back home to you. You remembered the scary news about these new enemies they met. And you remembered the night that he had to leave you, all for you to live a normal and safe life.

“God I miss you,” you said to yourself. It was getting late. MinHyuk had already text you goodnight. Your phone rang. It was your best friend.

“You didn’t answer me earlier!” she exclaimed. You lightly laughed. After buying your bag and your mini date, you fell asleep.

“Yeah I fell asleep.”

“Stop doing overtime.”

“I know, I need to take it easy with the overtime.” She is protective of you. She made sure you were okay everyday after the break up. Your best friend started to hate Nanami for hurting you but you constantly reassured her that it was for the best. You reassured her that you were okay even though you weren’t. You felt your shoulders ache and you couldn’t help but massage them.

“The moving went okay? You’re ready?” You found an empty bench. You couldn’t help but feel as if someone was there, but you needed the rest.

“Yeah everything’s done. Everything’s moved in. I’m taking my flight tomorrow morning,” you informed.

“Oh! You’re moving in with him too?” she asked curiously. You sighed and shook your head.

“No, I’m not moving in with him. God, we just started dating last month.”

“Will you be okay though? Is it gonna help you forget him?” I frowned. I feel like crying again.

“No,” I said quietly. “I’ll never forget him. Kento-kun means everything to me.” And he does. You believed he was the person for you. And you kept telling yourself that he is your person but it was completely wrong timing.

“You still love him.”

“Yeah, I’ll always love him.”

“Well, I hope you let MinHyuk in your life more,” she said. “He’s really good to you. But also, be careful! Fans in Korea get crazy. Like crazy, crazy.” You couldn’t help but laugh. He did warn you about that. He sort of gave you an option to back out. But if you gave Nanami a chance with his dangerous life, you might as well give MinHyuk that chance, too.

“I’ll be careful. I’ll talk to you tomorrow okay?”

“Alright. Have a safe flight.”

You finally hung up. The moon is so bright tonight. You admired the moon, letting Nanami take over your thoughts again. You suddenly felt the weight off your shoulders. You touched your shoulders with relief. You can’t help but believe that Nanami really is there, somehow protecting you still. You let the tears flow again. You leaned back against the bench, eyes never leaving the bright moon. Maybe he is there. You wanted to go over by the tree but you decided against it. You didn’t want to feel the disappointment if he wasn’t but you didn’t want to feel stuck the moment you see him. Because the times you saw him through the crowds in Tokyo, you were ready to throw your life away just for him.

“The moon is beautiful isn’t it, Kento-kun.” If he was there, you were hoping that he heard you. But you also like to ask yourself that on some nights when the moon was visible outside at night. You finally stood up, ready to go back home. “I hope you’re doing well.”

This time, you didn’t turn back. You continued your walk back home. You continued to let him consume your thoughts and consume the what ifs.

What if you were still with him? Would you still be filled with the worry and tears with thoughts of him not returning back home. Would he had left the sorcerer life? Would you two be able to have a future? The thoughts stayed in the back of your mind.

But for now, you mentally put Nanami in a chest and locked it up. It was time to move on. Time to let the pain eventually leave.

[nikiisbored13]

Ellie Williams x reader

Inspired by Gorgeous/Dress from Taylor Swift.

A/N:sooo… I know I haven't written here for a long time but I was listening to tay and felt a bit of inspiration so I decided to write for my longest obsession. Also, English isn’t my first language, so forgive me for my bad writing and bad english. and i might do a part two but no promises… (if i do it’ll be a smut)

summary: You were a girl that’s always skipping from one relationship to another. and never seemed to know why all of them didn’t worked. until you’ve realized, it was her fault.

warnings:just pure fluff, friends to lovers, s! slur, bad relationship, mentions of killing, no use of "Y/N" and heteronormativity from reader's past relationships

you’ve broken up with the boy you’ve been dating for the past two weeks, and every one in town already knew that you’re single again… people kept gossiping about how you couldn’t keep a man, and calling you a “slut” for not taking a long time from each breakup to start dating again.

but your relationships never seemed to work out and you didn’t know why, until you were on patrol with your bestfriend, Ellie. some infecteds tried to bite you, ellie killed all of’em cause you were without aim to defend yourself from the creatures. she gave you her hand so you could stand up and you took it as she helped you.

“you okay? are you hurt?” you looked directly into her green eyes, it was like looking at a forest. the way the sunlight hit her face and hair making her hair redder, you were amazed by her… her beauty, her ruthlessness, the way she’s worried if anything happened to you, the way she grabbed your hand… she was so gorgeous it made you so mad.

That was when you realized. She was the reason your relationships never worked. you’ve never wanted any of the men you dated the way you wanted and needed her.

“No,i-i’m completely fine.” you said standing still, not making a single move while you looked in her eyes.

“great. I think we should get back… the festival’s tonight, isn’t it?” you came out of your trance caused by the redheaded girl “mhm, yeah is tonight…” you said timidly. “what’re you gonna wear?” then you remembered your newest dress that you’ve never wore, that'll be changed tonight.

and there you were now dancing at the festival with your other friend, Dina. taking small sneak peeks at Ellie from time to time to see if she was looking. “Are you gonna talk to her or what?” your friend asked you, making you turn your attention to her again “hm?”.

she rolled her eyes before spinning her body “i know you like her.” you started to get nervous by her statement “like who?” you pretended you didn’t knew who she was talking about “you know damn well who i’m talking about! you need to talk to her.” “Fine, I'll talk to her.” when the dance ended you went with Dina to talk to Ellie and jesse.

“hey ells! wassup” you said trying not to be awkward. for some reason talking to boys was always so easy for you but from all of a sudden talking ellie wasn’t. “Hey [Name], you look gorgeous in that dress.” her compliment made you flustered even tho you only picked it so she could take it off “thanks…”

a romantic song started to play and you saw an opportunity to ask her to dance “wanna dance?” you said offering your hand “don’t see why not” the way she quickly accepted was weird. you thought you would have to find a way to convince her somehow.

she grabbed your hand and you went to the dance floor. you both started to slow dance with your arms on her shoulders and hers around your waist. as the music went by, the people seemed to vanish away. in your mind there was only you and ellie.

you both started to get closer and closer. and then you kissed her… and she kissed you back. and it was magically indescribable. you’ve never ever felt like this kissing any man. It was so passionate and sweet. full of innocence and desire. After 2 minutes you two finally stopped the kiss to catch a breath.

“I'm in love with you” you said as red as ellie’s hair “i’ve been in love with you since we’ve met.” she said as hugged you tightly “wanna get outta here?” you said hugging her back

She took you to her room and we all know what happened there…

[twoidiotwriters1]

Daughter of Olympus (Leo Valdez xFem!Oc)

A/N: One thing I love about these two is how blatant they are about their feelings, there is no hesitation (there is a lot and is drowning them) -Danny Words: 2,634 Series' Masterlist Previous Chapter / Next Chapter Listen to: 'Message In A Bottle' -by Taylor Swift

XXVII: I Don't Have High Hopes but I Think Leara Should Be Our Ship Name

"You remember when Annabeth explained to us how Athena kids are born?"

"Yeah?"

"I get it now," Ara mumbles absentmindedly. "The meeting of minds thing."

Lily peers over the chariot. "What?"

"I've got a crush," Ara tightens the nave, hunching so she doesn't have to face Lily.

Her friend gasps and pulls Ara up, dragging her to a tall bench. "Who is it? You always go for the craziest option available!"

"That's not true!" She scowls.

"I always thought Aphrodite kids had good taste, but you don't."

"I'll ignore that," Ara leaves her tools on the workbench. "Cause I really wanna tell you."

Lily smiles eagerly. "Okay. I'm listening."

"Well... It's a boy."

"Yikes," she sits on the bench next to Ara's and supports her elbow on the workbench. "Do I know him?"

"Yeah, er... just met him."

"Oh," Lily's expression shifts. "Oh no, Ara."

"What?" She pouts. "You can't say that's a bad pick!"

Her friend wrinkles her nose. "Leo Valdez? Are you sure?"

"You don't approve," Ara sighs knowingly.

Lily rolls her eyes. "I get why you like him... but is he really the safe option?"

"Lily!"

"Well," she frowns. "All I'm saying is, you get along with Jason just the same!"

Ara's taken by surprise. "Jason?"

"Why not?" Her friend insists. "Your siblings love him, like, they're obsessed—"

"Piper likes him, Lily," Ara makes a face.

"Ugh, fine! But Leo is bound to get you hurt," Lily explains like it's obvious.

"No, he wouldn't! Why would you even think that?" Ara's getting upset for no reason, she has to wrap it up.

Lily crosses her arms and Ara knows she's in for a lecture. "He's insane, Ara. Have you talked to him for more than just five minutes? I have the feeling he doesn't even like people at all."

"That's not fair, you don't like talking to people either," she reminds her.

"Yeah, but I like you, and I make an effort for you," she insists in an exasperated voice.  "Nothing against him, he just doesn't have time to be a good boyfriend, and you know it. Don't pursue him, Ara."

Telling Ara she can't do something is giving her entrance to prove others wrong. "But I like him, isn't that enough?"

"Listen, if you date Leo, you won't be his priority," Lily tries to reason. "You shouldn't settle for the bare minimum. Also, you're Olympus's go-to girl—"

"This is exactly why I didn't want to tell you," Ara snaps defensively. "You go on about common sense like it's so easy. I know better."

It's not up to her to decide anymore, Leo's soul light matches hers, and all she can do is come to terms with it. Lily's observations aren't wrong, but she doesn't understand just how much of a dead end Ara is facing. 

Lily's eyes darken. "Right, because you have always made the right choice."

Ara knows what she's insinuating, and she won't allow it. "Thank you for helping me with the chariot, you're dismissed for the day."

"Naí, Strategus." 

Lily grabs her stuff so she can leave, but someone else storms into the room before that can happen.

"I'm going to gut you!" Nico Di Angelo stops in front of Ara, holding the old aviator jacket to her face.

We convince Nico to stay for the rest of the summer, but it doesn't matter how much we try to include him in our routine, he doesn't like it here.

Lily hands him a bag with food and drachmas. "Thank you for helping us this summer."

"You won't try to stop me from leaving?" He asks reluctantly.

"We know you'll be careful," I smile. "Ghost King."

Nico makes a face. "Shut up."

"It suits you," Lily teases him. "It's an honor to be friends with a king."

"Whatever," he turns away.

"You didn't deny we're friends, though!" I laugh. "Wait! We have one last favor to ask you!"

He glances back over his shoulder. "What?"

"Look for the children of Olympus!"

"What's that?"

"Nothing important, just... if you contact any of them, ask them how they became it. Heracles and Achilles."

Nico's face is hard to read, but he nods. "I'll try."

"See you later, Neeks!"

"Maybe," he replies shortly.

Percy runs into us at that moment. Lily goes away claiming she has business to attend to with the Stolls, but I know she wants to be sad in private. Nico's the only kid who resembles her around here, and now he's leaving, claiming this is not his place. I wonder what that makes her think.

Mr D asks Percy and me to walk with him. He takes us to the campfire, where Clarisse and Chris are having a moment. 

Percy doesn't understand Mr. D's sudden change of heart, but I do.

"...remember that a kind act can sometimes be as powerful as a sword. As a mortal, I was never a great fighter or athlete or poet. I only made wine. The people in my village laughed at me. They said I would never amount to anything. Look at me now. Sometimes small things can become very large indeed." He gives me a look. "That weapon you carry is flashy... Make sure it doesn't dim your brains."

He leaves us, and I stare at the purple aura surrounding Clarisse and Chris. Percy speaks beside me. "Hey! That's right, you got a sword!"

I smile. "Hephaestus gave it to me. It's called Pantodýnamos."

Percy cocks his head to the side. "That's weird... I feel like I've heard that before."

"Almighty? Yeah, about a hundred times in every book of ancient history."

"Right," he grins. "And it sure is almighty, I saw you killing all those monsters—How did it feel?"

"Like small things can become very large indeed," I quote for Percy's amusement.

He pauses for a moment, suddenly worried. "But why did Hephaestus give it to you? He didn't seem to like you at first."

I open my mouth to reply, but I'm his little sister, he'll freak out if I tell him what my fate is. "I guess he changed his mind," I lie. "Maybe he likes that I chose him over my mother."

Percy seems to believe it. "Well, I feel better knowing you have a good way to defend yourself."

He ruffles my hair and walks me to the campfire. Lily's with the Stolls, next to her is Michael, and he's staring at me. When we lock eyes he smiles and winks. I look away feeling self-conscious, and a golden light brightens my skin.

"Oh, crap..." I mutter in distress.

During the campfire, Ara realizes Leo is nowhere to be found. It comes to her that if he's not here then he probably didn't have dinner either, and she can't ignore that.

The girl leaves the amphitheater and goes to get drinks and her on-the-verge-of-dying T-Rex bag, then approaches the forest, where she whistles and Apollo is quick to appear on her side. Ara rides him to the bunker, it's dark out and she's not looking to fight monsters at this hour.

She enters the bunker quietly, all the lights are off with the exception of one on top of Festus's platform, next to it Leo is scribbling something on a blueprint.

"Holy, Hephaestus!" Ara gasps. Before her, the ship's shell is already being built.

Leo gives a start. "Hi, doll!" He hastily tries to clean his workspace. "I know, I know, dinner time. Let me just—"

"Dinner was two hours ago," Ara walks up to him.

"Oh," he blinks. "Whoops."

The girl places a soda and a sandwich on his workbench. "You forget to eat and your reaction is 'Whoops'?"

"You can't judge me, Miss 'Huh'," Leo grabs the food. "I just thought—"

"You can think?" Ara sits on the platform and pats Festus' head, Apollo curls next to Leo's workbench ready to take a nap.

"Ha ha," Leo rolls his eyes. "I'm a genius, you know..."

"Don't get too comfy, boy," she speaks to her lion. "We'll head back in a moment."

Leo pouts. "You're leaving already?"

"You're coming with us," she raises a brow. "I can't let you stay here."

"You're no fun," he sighs. "My mom and I used to sleep in her workshop sometimes."

"You have a good bed in cabin nine," she insists calmly. "And I'm a fun girl, you just push my buttons."

"I've noticed," Leo smirks. "But you keep coming back, so maybe I don't push them enough."

"Hm," Ara looks around curiously. The bunker's full of life already; Annabeth was right after all, she's dying to work here. "Anyway, hurry up and eat. I gotta leave Apollo with the pegasus, he'll spend the night chasing the poor harpies otherwise."

Leo makes a face. "You know how batshit that sounds?"

Ara smiles a little. "You'll get used to it eventually."

Leo walks over to where she is. "Can I ask you something?"

"Shoot."

"Is it true what they say? That you can't fall in love?"

Ara laughs. "Who says that?"

"Malcolm."

She shakes her head. "No! That's nuts!"

"It's not true?" He asks, sitting next to her.

Ara notices the faint glow of his skin. "Love is the one thing that keeps me going."

He tilts his head. "Really?"

"I mean, if I were incapable of loving, my life would be pointless."

"So you're willing to date?" His voice turns a bit hopeful. "Let's say, a mechanic genius with amazing looks?"

"Are you asking me out?" She inquires with amusement.

"Yeah, I think I am," Ara's shoulder is touching his, and Leo's breath catches in his throat as he leans closer.

"Leo..." Ara's not sure this is how she wants things to happen. "I... I..."

A playful smirk appears on the boy's face. "Are you about to confess? It'd be great if you said something like 'You're so attractive it makes me insane', even if it's a lie."

"Are you teaching me how to flirt with you?" Ara's head is spinning but his teasing annoys her enough to clear her head.

"You look like you need help. And you're not threatening to maim me for sitting this close to you like the day we met," Heat spreads across his cheeks, and he finishes the sentence quietly. "I can stop if you want."

Ara blushes, looking down at where their hands are placed, one next to the other. "I've gotten used to you, that's all..."

Leo glances at their hands and he lightly touches hers with the tip of his pinky. He looks up to her eyes and waits. She's not doing anything, but his heart is throbbing painfully as he sits in expectation.

"You're doing a great job here, by the way," Ara tells him.

Leo nods, not listening to a single word of what she just said. He moves slightly closer, closing the gap between them until their faces are just a few inches apart. The boy tilts his head and softly brushes his lips against hers for a brief moment. 

The proximity makes him so dizzy he pushes himself away almost instantly. He's in honest disbelief, no girl had ever allowed him to get that close, he nearly wants to ask Ara if she's in her right mind.

In spite of his attempt to stop, their noses are still brushing. He's right there, he could kiss her if he wanted to, and he is dying to, but he wants her permission. 

"I know I don't know a lot about you," he places his hand on top of hers. "But since I met you I've had this feeling... I don't even know what it means, but I'll try my best to be whatever you want, just..."

Ara wants to kiss him so badly that her chest hurts. The girl clears her throat and moves away, desperately trying to de-escalate the situation. "I don't date guys that could set me on fire, though."

For a moment, the sound of his heart pounding is all Leo can hear and process. Then Ara's breathing, slow and strained. It takes him a while to make sense of her words. 

The way she's acting gives him hope. He feels so close to getting all he ever wanted, even if he doesn't even know what that entails.

He moves away too, trying to calm down. He drinks half of his Coke in one gulp. "You're gonna talk about cons? Let me talk about yours, then."

Ara's mouth falls open. "You've known me for like three days!"

"Six, actually," he replies. "So it's a looong list." Ara punches his shoulder. "Ouch! That a yes or a no?" Leo laughs, he can't help but think how cute she looks when she's pouting. 

"I'll give you one and you gotta say one in turn, alright?" She replies. "Let's see who's got more."

A devilish look appears on Leo's face. He tilts his head slightly. "You're bossy."

"You're a flirt with every girl you find pretty."

He grins. "That sounds more like a compliment." 

"It's not."

"Are you sure?"

"Just give me a con!"

"You're impatient."

"Some of your jokes are cringe."

Leo gasps, pretending to be insulted. "That's harsh."

"I give you permission to be a little harsh, then," Ara grins.

"Alright. You're a terrible flirt."

Ara responds with a feisty look in her eyes. "You have no proper strength for a demigod."

"Dang, now this is just roasting," Leo takes a bite of his sandwich. "My powers are a work in progress, sunshine. I'd try my best to protect you though, if that counts for anything."

Ara sighs and stares at her feet. "If you're not sure you can, then don't do it," the girl nudges his arm. "Your turn. You said you had a long list, right?"

"I was lying," he admits casually. "But feel free to keep going, I need the reality check."

Ara groans and looks away. "I ran out of cons too."

Leo pats her knee. "At least we tried. Now what?"

Ara's knee is tingling where he touched it. "I'm not a flirt," she blurts out. "Silena taught me to be kind and hand out compliments to everyone. If I'm a terrible flirt it's cause I've never tried to flirt with anyone, this is just how I am."

Ara is kind of weird, but Leo is starting to get her. She isn't as hard to understand as most people, maybe cause she always says what she means. "I'm a bit of a flirt," he replies, "but I try not to flirt with you at all, 'cause if you were to flirt back, I'm pretty sure I'd drop dead."

Ara giggles, her face is as red as the strawberries they grow in camp, but she doesn't seem to mind. "You're so dramatic—But you make me laugh, like, real laughter. Can't do that easily nowadays..."

"Wow," he says, trying to sound like he's joking. "You like me a lot."

He lets the statement sink in, giving her the opportunity to deliver a firm rejection. 

"I never said I didn't."

"What?" There is a whirlwind of emotions inside of him, too much data has entered his hard drive. He can't even feel his face at this point. "What do you mean?" He urges her. "Cause it's kinda sounding like you've got feelings for me—"

"I know how it sounds," Ara scowls.

"But... then..." He stammers.

Ara fixes her eyes on the lion. A sudden wave of panic is making her second-guess everything, maybe she should follow Lily's advice. 

"Listen, Leo... You have a ship to build, and I have to find my brother. Those are the priorities. After that, we have to defeat Miss Dirt-face. We don't have time for feelings."

It's like she's trying to convince herself, but what he hates the most is that it's true, and it hurts like hell. The first time he meets a cute girl who's attracted to him, and they can't be together. His life is just that great.

"Right. Let's focus on the prophecies now, and maybe if we survive that, we can think about dating," he replies, sounding overly sarcastic. "Sorry for asking..." Every fiber in his body wants to scream. Is he destined to be rejected even by the people who want to choose differently?

Ara gets up as gracefully as possible. "Please, don't stay here for long. Go to sleep."

She heads to the door in silence. The boy doesn't go after her, all he does is reply under his breath. "See you."

Pollo gets up and follows Ara out of the bunker, leaving Leo alone with his longing.

Next Chapter ->

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