#also ab the third gif...

[wittlesissyb4by]

It has long been known that people slip through the cracks of the education system and somehow make it through adulthood without having even the most basic skills of being an adult.

In an effort to alleviate and rectify the issue, adults that are deemed lacking of basic needs are sent back to a...special school. They start them all the way back to the beginning.

Tim, or 'Timmy', as he's referred to now, didn't know how to change a tire. His algebra skills were nonexistant, and he was reading at a third grade level...even at the age of 35. It also probably didn't help that he was utterly useless around the house. So, his wife brought him to court, and the judge ruled he would spend the next five years at the AB Academy.

Now, Timmy was laying on the ground, whining and crying in front of the whole class about how he wasn't a baby while his teacher, Mrs. Aysel, held up his very sodden diaper and explained all the little shapes that went missing when he pissed them all away.

The entire class of 30-60 year olds giggled and wriggled in their own diapers while Mrs. Aysel lifted Timmy's legs, wiped his bottom, administered a buttplug, and taped him up into a fresh pair of pampers.

Timmy wanted to fight it, but the Judge was very explicit that if he didn't behave properly while at the AB Academy, he would instead spend his time locked up at the State Pampertentiary. From the horror stories he'd heard, a little diaper change and spanking in front of the class wasn't too bad in comparison...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This gif is from Ms. Ayla. Please show your support to the community so we can keep getting wonderful content like this!

[episodeoftv]

Round 1 of 8, Group 1 of 8

propaganda and summaries are under the cut (May include spoilers)

Community: 3.04 Remedial Chaos Theory

tws: a gun is fired and a character is shown smoking

At Abed and Troy's housewarming party, Jeff decides to let the decision on who gets the pizza rest on the roll of the dice, leaving Abed to contemplate six alternate realities.

Even if you have never seen the show, this episode HAS impacted you. It is the origin of the phrase “the Darkest Timeline” and is also where that gif of the guy (Troy) with pizza walking into a room that’s on fire/total chaos. As an episode, it is so unbelievably tightly written. Despite this being the fourth episode of the third season, if you watched this as your first ever episode of Community you would IMMEDIATELY get who all of these characters are. And not just that, but the group dynamic. It’s hilarious but also a great, well, “study” of the Study Group. Also the “what does a pregnancy test look like?” Joke is still one of the funniest/most clever things ever put to film.

this episode is such a banger no notes

origin of this gif/meme. also a great character and character relationships study

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Remedial_Chaos_Theory

Supernatural: 6.20 The Man Who Would Be King

Castiel tells his story in his own words and confesses to some interesting choices.

[hyperfixatedonthisnow]

Can’t get enough

*Not my GIF - also the GIF isn’t directly related to the story, but really who doesn’t need an excuse to look at those abs?

Here’s another thing I wrote. This one has even less plot than the last so, enjoy i guess!

Summary: Basically just shameless Nikolai x reader insert smut with a bit of fluff on the side.

Word count: 1.5K ish

Warnings: NSFW - 18+ only. Smut, fem!reader, mention of oral sex, marking, handjob, P in V sex, unprotected sex & ejaculation (but they are married if that makes it better)

“You’re far too good at that,” you murmured as you came down from your high. Nikolai chuckled, the vibration against your over sensitive flesh making you squirm. Burying your hands in his untamed hair, you tugged him upwards. The self-satisfied smirk on his face would have been unbearably smug if he hadn’t just brought you to orgasm for the third time that night. He raised himself up on his elbows and pressed his lips to yours in a lazy kiss, allowing you to taste yourself on his tongue. Then he flipped over onto his back and wrapped an arm around you, pulling you against his side. You snuggled in closer, throwing one leg over his as you ran your hand lightly across his chest and down, tracing absent patterns into his skin. He sighed contentedly, his eyes slipping closed. You studied his profile for a moment, wondering how you managed to get so lucky. Your mother had warned you that for women, sex was something to be endured rather than enjoyed. You were to allow your husband to take his pleasure as he wished, as was his right, and your role was only to provide him with a son and heir. Thankfully, the reality had turned out to be quite different and you had found Nikolai to be an attentive and unselfish lover. At first, you’d thought it was just a point of pride for him, a need to impress you when you were first married, but here you were years down the line and he was still as dedicated to your pleasure as he had been in the beginning, his own release always a secondary concern. In fact, you worried sometimes that perhaps he was neglecting his own needs in favor of satisfying yours, though of course he would never admit to it. Outside of the bedroom, he was just as thoughtful. As the newly crowned King of Ravka, his position was demanding, but he made a concentrated effort to put you first as much as he was able, and he rarely denied you anything that it was in his power to give. He could be a shameless flirt, but you knew without a doubt that he loved you, and you certainly loved him. You leaned up over him to press kisses to the tip of his nose, his eyelids, his cheek, the corner of his mouth, and his lips quirked up into a smile. He turned towards you, seeking a real kiss but you pulled back slightly so you could trail your lips down his throat instead and he hummed his approval, tipping his head back to give you better access. You nipped lightly at his Adam’s apple and bit down gently on the corded muscle at the juncture of his shoulder, drawing a gasp from him as you continued your wet, open mouthed path to his collarbone. Letting your hand drift lower, past his navel, you raked your nails gently across his pelvis while you sucked a bruise into his skin. His cock twitched in response, the muscles of his toned abdomen dancing under your hand. You tilted your head up to look at his face, ghosting your fingertips over his growing erection. “Recovered already?” He didn’t open his eyes, but he made an affirmative sound as you took him in hand, swiping your thumb over the head of his cock to gather the bead of pre-come already leaking there and spreading it as lubrication. You grasped him in a tight fist, jerking him roughly until he was panting, unable to stop himself from thrusting into your hand. When you added a twist of your wrist on the upstroke and ducked your head to swirl your tongue over one sensitive nipple, he groaned, his whole body shuddering. He rolled towards you without warning, eyes still closed, his mouth somehow finding yours and his weight pressing you into the mattress. You parted your legs for him, allowing him to position himself comfortably between your thighs as he kissed you, licking slowly into your mouth until you were both breathless. When you finally broke apart for air, he rested his forehead against yours, looking down at you through his lashes. You reached between your bodies to wrap your fingers around his cock again and you felt his breath hitch. “I need to be inside you,” he murmured as you resumed stroking him. You raised an eyebrow, surprised that he wanted to go another round so soon. “Again?” He dipped his head to nuzzle at the hollow of your throat, trailing his hand lightly down your side. “Mmhmm.” “You’re insatiable,” you teased. “Mmm,” he hummed in agreement, mouthing at the swell of your breast. He captured one dusky peak gently between his teeth at the same time as his fingers found your slick center and you gasped, arching into him, your body straining for more. “I can’t get enough of you,” he admitted. His tone was playful, but the look in his eyes was soft as they raised to meet yours. You lifted your free hand to tenderly card your fingers through his hair and he smiled, leaning into your touch, before he moved up to claim your mouth again. You pushed lightly at his shoulder, urging him onto his back and he went easily, his hands settling on your thighs as you straddled him. You raised yourself up on your knees, splaying one hand on his chest for balance and grasping his cock with the other, giving him several firm strokes as you lined him up with your entrance. His eyelids fluttered closed again and he inhaled sharply, his thumbs caressing your thighs as you sank down onto him, pausing only when your hips were flush with his. You couldn’t help the moan that escaped you at the feeling of fullness. You ground your hips against his experimentally, simultaneously clenching your inner muscles and he groaned loudly, hands tightening on your thighs, his fingertips digging into your flesh almost hard enough to bruise. You repeated the motion, the combination of his reaction and the added friction to your clit already enough to have you chasing release. You sat up straighter as you began to ride him, setting a hard, fast rhythm, lifting yourself up until only the head of his cock remained inside you and then dropping back down to take his entire length at once, your thigh muscles burning with the effort. Nikolai pushed himself up into a sitting position, bracing himself on one arm and tangling his free hand in your hair so that he could pull you in for a bruising kiss, swallowing your sounds of pleasure. You nipped at his bottom lip when he released you and his hands found your waist, helping rather than guiding as he began thrusting up to meet you, the deeper penetration sending you both hurtling towards release in just a matter of moments. He slipped his hand between your sweat slick bodies with practiced ease, determined as ever that you should reach your climax first but you had already decided that this would be for him alone and you would not be deterred. Lacing your fingers through his, you stopped him before he reached his destination and kissed him thoroughly to distract him from his goal. You moved your hips harder against him until his movements became frantic, losing all semblance of rhythm. “Come for me,” you commanded quietly and he did, the gentle caress of your voice in his ear exactly what he needed to send him over the edge. He cried out, his body taught as he spilled his seed inside of you. You clung to him as the wave of his orgasm crested and peaked, one hand in his hair and the other sweeping across his broad shoulders. You stayed that way, your bodies tangled together so intimately that it was hard to tell where you ended and he began, until your breathing calmed and the pounding of your hearts slowed to their usual steady rhythm.

[waitmyturtles]

Absolute Zero, episode 1 RANDOM THOUGHTS (more like FEELS and SQUEALS and HAPPY PIPS, here we go):

1) New Siwaj's latest prestige BL. Man, we've had some dips from him lately. I FAST-fast-forwarded through Between Us to get to the DeanPharm bits, and listen, I shoulda just listened to my friends (insert the Bugs Bunny "NO" gif here). And I have a pathetic love for Double Savage, a show that New Siwaj screenwrote and that aired earlier this year, for its POTENTIAL to tell an intergenerational familial trauma story headed by OhmPerth, but lord, it was a mess. At the same time, I have been impaled with a thirsty obsession over my watch and rewatch of New's Until We Meet Again, so with New going high for this latest show -- I have BIG expectations.

2) @bengiyo and @twig-tea (here and here) covered a TON of what I am thinking (and apologies to friends if you wrote AZ things yesterday and I missed them -- like @bengiyo, I would love to be tagged in your meta to track thoughts on this show!) (I think @troubled-mind is getting into this one, maybe we already have a little AZ squad going!). Further apologies and big ups to Ben and Twig if I repeat anything you say! Which I will, right now, repeating Ben's words:

3) FUCK if I didn't feel some nostalgia hearing Boy Sompob's voice again. I really do feel like this means that New is THROWING. DOWN. The music in this show is already fantastic. The music was SO IMPORTANT to the storytelling in UWMA, and I'm glad we're leading with it again here.

4) I am VERY PLEASED to see Mix Wanut (young Suansoon) holding down as a lead. We didn't see him too much as Don in UWMA, but: I thought his timing and comedy was particularly notable in UWMA (when Don was able to lighten up a bit near Dean, I thought it was really great).

5) Speaking of the actors. I'd like everyone to know (poor @neuroticbookworm and @lurkingshan have already heard me yelp on this). Teng Kanist, who plays the older Suansoon. He was fabulous as Nat in Gay OK Bangkok. Nat was a contradictory character, but let me be honest -- I felt a little symp for Nat because I like Teng's face. I admit it, I'm weak and transparent for dudes.

BUT: we all need to know that Teng Kanist IS ALSO A REAL-LIFE PASTRY CHEF who also GOES TO THE GYM. Therefore, we have a perfect man (for me lol) in our midst. Just need everyone to know! Croissants and abs and sets. SOLD!

6) Ahem, where was I. As an #old, seeing middle-aged dudes in a drama is what I need. I like that Absolute Zero is going to do this for us: to juxtapose the expected BL school scenes with two real adults in real adult settings. I love this. And I love that I know we are going to get more elders next week in What Did You Eat Yesterday?, and elder-ishes very soon in Cherry Magic Thailand and Cooking Crush. We need to age-diversify this field, and New is leading this season.

7) I love how fast we needed to get to young Suansoon and young Ongsa getting together. From the MDL description of the show, it looks like Absolute Zero may have a similar structure to UWMA. UWMA was like a three-part series: the first part being Dean and Pharm getting together; the second being their discovering their spiritual pasts through their shared inherited memories and meeting their families; and the third being the conclusion with their resolving Korn and Intouch's forced separation at death.

If Absolute Zero follows a similar structure in a shorter episode span (right now, MDL shows AZ having 12 episodes, as compared to UWMA's 17 episodes), then I understand AZ needing to be a bit chop-chop about the romance. But I felt that this episode was still perfectly paced, and yes -- dropping the faen in the first episode could seem a touch fast, but I felt that we had convincingly spent intentional time with Suansoon's loneliness to understand why he would have said yes to Ongsa. (And, anyway -- of course, we needed to know that they got together, because we time-jumped to their loving adult relationship.)

And I loved young Ongsa's approach. A guy looking and chasing after his crush. The romance of buying tickets to a movie, hoping the guy he likes will show up. Giving Suansoon a birthday bracelet at the movie. Holding Suansoon's hand and asking him the big question.

Man.... ahhhh. What I loved about that bracelet scene is that -- the gift of that bracelet did a lot of the communicating from Ongsa to Suansoon without words. Suansoon was clearly touched and moved. The loss of his parents shakes him, but he clearly got a lovely moment of connection from that gift. Mix acted that part beautifully.

8) The Love of Siam. What can I fucking say. I haven't seen My Only 12%, where I know New makes another significant reference to LoS there. But, just. I'm very glad @bengiyo insisted on LoS being the start of the Old GMMTV Challenge, in part because of the references to LoS in other Thai BLs over the course of the genre's short history, but also -- the tragedy of that movie communicates SO MUCH when it is present as a reference in another piece. Just like the bracelet communicates so much by way of love. I love that we got to see the pre-ending credits quote. I love that New's communicating to us through this brilliant movie.

I am sure I can find more to gush on, but let me stop here, because this got longer than I expected. I can't manage a full load of dramas, so I'll likely be dropping my thirst-watch of Dangerous Romance to accommodate AZ and WDYEY. Just like I am praying for Tee Bundit to not drop the ball on I Feel You Linger in the Air -- let us hope New can also keep the juggle up on AZ. He started this out STRONG. I HAVE HIGH HOPES.

[russilton]

I go absolutely feral whenever you post something about redbull george man, the thought you put into it is so impressive! I was also wondering how the public feels ab redbull george, do they dislike him? Love him? Hate him with all their being?

🥹🥹🥹 I am glad my ferality is being mirrored by others. I havent through a lot about public reaction to George bc most of the story is told within the paddock via Lewis, but I’m sure I can think of a bit

Edit: this is mark who just finished writing this response, an hour later. I thought of more than a bit.

Redbull au spoilers under the cut let’s goooo

The public opinion on George is about as mixed as it is on Lewis. Some people love him, some people HATE him, and those opinions develop throughout the year

The first time he gets into the Red Bull seat opinions are truly split on him. Some people think he’s just another Red bull second seat filler destined to fail, after all they’ve watched Daniil, Pierre, and most recently Albon get traded around like stocks. It doesn’t help that George is quite publicly cocky, he doesn’t overstate himself, but he did spend 2020 turning the Alpha Tauri car into a beast that even pierre couldn’t match. He’s bold, confident, and has a PR face that other RB drivers struggled with.

Some people think George is the next big thing. Some genuinely see his talent within AT and his F2 Championship as a sign of things to come, a lot like Williams George has. It’s no secret a lot of people often look for literally any chance to shit on Lewis, George is an unfortunately good outlet for that, especially for Unsavoury (read: racist) british fans who want to champion someone other than Lewis, but would rather support another Brit than some Dutch prick. George is quite… publicly critical of this. He’s a dick but he doesn’t want people who support him just for not being Lewis. I won’t say he’s some saint because he isn’t, but George is a big fan of Lewis, he always has been, and he kneeled alongside him in the RB au just as IRL George did. RB management weren’t particularly happy about that one, but they found a way to spin George as good PR and a shield they could use to excuse some of Max’s more shit behaviour.

Once the season starts, opinions split even further. His confidence is a turn off for some, and a turn on for others, and when George starts to get into more scuffles on track with Lewis that just grows. Red bull fans will take any chance to make George a saint that’s the thorn in Lewis’ side, someone who’s making the humble king crack. More passionate Mercedes fans see him as an annoyance who should get out of Lewis’ way, an overconfident asshole who thinks he’s hot shit. A lot of midfield fans like George, he fights clean and strong, and people love a good overtake fight, George and Lewis provide that. People love to share gifs of Lewis’ clenched jaw as he watches George on the podium next to him, the wink George gives him back. There’s also photos of Lewis winking down at an unimpressed George on third. A Brit on Brit rivalry gets people hot, and it helps both George and Lewis are very respectful in interviews about each other. They’ll tease, George will say he thinks someone of Lewis’ experience shouldn’t have left certain gaps for him, Lewis will raise a brow and return that perhaps George needs to remember who overtook him after. Their banter and fights are foreplay for them but with the nature of the internet some people are sure they want to kill each other. A small subsection of tumblr and twitter think they’re fucking. They are correct.

This sort of love him or hate him attitude continues till around the middle of the first half of the season, when Red Bull fans start to be concerned that George is “spoiling” Max’s shot at a WDC. There are still far more max fans than George, after all dutch stoic ness people tend to brush away, British arrogance (somewhat rightfully) doesn’t go down as well. Mercedes fans don’t like George, but he is often used to point to how max could behave on track in a similar car. Hate him all you want George is behaved. As redbull slowly pile the pressure on George to submit to Max, so does the public. In the wake of Silverstone George is blamed for not being able to ‘protect’ max from Lewis, that that’s his job as second. When George hands a win to Lewis in Hungary as a “fuck you im not second driver”, shouting and conspiracy theories run abound. Everything from “he’s just in redbull to screw with max and help another Brit, he’s Lewis’ bitch” to “Actually george is worse than max but the team are biased” to the slightly more correct “George is actually better but being screwed over”. Merc fans don’t know how to react to George giving lewis the win. Nobody likes admitting that Lewis would have deeply struggled to get past without it, so some say George lost his mettle or the car had a mechanical failure.

Summer break silence and this love hate feeling continues, when they come back and George is struggling suddenly people are quick to crow about the second seat curse, that he was never actually that good. People who liked George for challenging max go quiet, ones that liked how he challenged lewis stop paying attention, and it’s a good thing George largely avoid social media because that just leaves some fans and a lot of livid Red bull fans who are ready to spew acid at George. Some still adore him of course, he’s the second man to their goat max, spoiler of Mercedes’ day, but Their praise makes George feel somewhat sick. He thinks he might actually throw up at the cheers he gets at Zandvoort as Lewis is Boo’d.

After the Russia crash, most RB fans left turn on him. He’s blamed utterly and completely for the incident by Red bull and they don’t even think to question it. He’s just like Pierre and Alex, he’s lost his mettle, they want to shame him for his confidence in the early season, they don’t know George is practically driving one handed with all he’s asked to test. To them, George is failing to defend max, or at worse hampering him. The abuse he gets after Russia and mexico is brutal. George is curling into himself too, his interviews are far different to early season, they’re clipped, his answers vauge, and the PR face is in full force. There are memes made of his tense blank face when Max overtakes him without a fight in Turkey, they don’t know George is trying not to hurl in some of those interviews. Most Merc fans are indifferent to him, they wish he’d go back to causing max trouble again, but he doesn’t cause Lewis issues either, so they don’t much care. At the end of the season redbull fans hate him because they blame max loosing the WDC on George not stopping Lewis. They don’t know that honestly George probably would have been the one fighting Max, or the one against Lewis if not for how he’s handicapped. George’s post race interview is praised for how he congratulates Lewis and speaks on how impressive his record breaking his, slipping just a little when he mentions how Lewis had inspired him. People blame Brit on Brit bias but people do like to discuss and debate George mentioning not wanting to cause a safety car, and how that perhaps contributed to Lewis’ win.

So, post season, Mercedes’ fans generally don’t love him, or just don’t care about him. Red Bull fans either view him as a failure, spoiler, or that he just dropped the ball, there’s a lot of back and forth on if he should be continuing to next year or replaced. Some say he’s clearly a more stable option than Alex or pierre, other days his performance drop is reason enough to drop him. Midfield fans are mixed on him too, but he’s generally agreed to be a promising talent, but very green.

When the Mercedes announcement happens, the internet explodes.

A driver moving to another team from RB hasn’t happened since Daniel and look how that went, but holy shit to the rival team? Unthinkable. Some are convinced George is giving up his shot at winning, clearly red bull is on the come back. Ardent Red bull fans accuse him of being a traitor, unfaithful and a terrible person for not sticking with the team that trained him. They don’t know about the abuse behind the scenes, to them it’s almost conspiracy worthy. Some people are confused as to how it even happened, don’t teams have anti competing clauses? How could Red bull let this happen? Some think it MUST be on purpose, trying to convince Toto to hire a bad driver and bring them down (they don’t love to point out the last time christian did that was when Toto signed Lewis, and how’d that work out?)

Mercedes fans don’t trust him. There’s varying ranges to it, some people think he’s a spy obviously going to send details to Red bull, how could Toto hire such an obvious traitor. Some think he’s being hired to replace Lewis and consider it either idiotic or outright evil actions on Toto’s part. Again they can’t see that George would rather stab himself than talk to Christian again, and that he has Lewis to vouch for him, and George’s early season performance is a fairly reasonable justification not to like him.

Lewis keeps him off the internet, drags George out over the Christmas break to just hang out, when George isn’t with his family. When it’s time for George to start working at Brackley in January, Lewis comes with him a lot of days. He says it’s just that he’s working too, and George accepts that. Toto and Bono share glances knowingly about how there’s no way on earth Lewis needs to keep coming in, and he certainly didn’t for Val. Susie figures out that they’re tentatively dating first, because she’s more observant than all of them, but she keeps it to herself. She does make Toto invite the poor boy over during the holidays with Lewis, to welcome him into the Mercedes’ family. Susie knows a boy who needs maternal and paternal adults around when she sees one, and she certainly couldn’t do it to Lewis lol.

When the new season starts, Lewis deliberately encourages a lot of interviews with George, so people can see them getting on. It helps George can finally talk publicly about how much he likes how Lewis drives and how helpful he is behind the scenes. Merc fans do slowly come round on him as George proves to be an even stronger second driver than Val, and a solid team player who the Merc team loves. I def have thoughts about a Canada style team dinner where there’s a sneaky photo of Lewis, George and Valtteri all sat together laughing at something, Lewis with a casual arm around George’s shoulder and Val, still in his AR gear being included within Merc as family

I thought this reply would end up being so short it would make the readmore overkill. I WAS WRONG.

[celebtattletale]

I posted 350 times in 2022

That's 266 more posts than 2021!

136 posts created (39%)

214 posts reblogged (61%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@softholand

@rogersevans

@toastedkiwi

@hollandsmushroom

@doggosource

I tagged 328 of my posts in 2022

Only 6% of my posts had no tags

#reblog - 189 posts

#right on queue - 134 posts

#reply - 67 posts

#alright mate - 50 posts

#chris evans x reader - 31 posts

#chris evans gif - 23 posts

#tom holland gif - 23 posts

#chris evans - 23 posts

#harrison osterfield - 21 posts

#tom holland x reader - 20 posts

Longest Tag: 128 characters

#i know that this was probably sent without realising but i don’t want to make anyone feel bad by saying i can’t do their request

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Reunited: Y/N L/N surprises Tom Holland at No Way Home premiere

We were all stunned at the premiere of Spider-Man: No Way Home by the all-star cast making their appearances including Zendaya, Benedict Cumberbatch and the man himself Tom Holland.

But one person was missing. Tom’s wife, singer Y/N, was seemingly absent from supporting her husband.

Of course, everyone understood that she was busy pursuing her own career, 3 months into her 6 month world tour, after her third studio album released.

Y/N has been joined by the couple’s three-year-old daughter, little Rose Nicola Holland, throughout her tour across the continents. The mother-daughter pair were accompanied by Tom for a couple of months before being separated for his own press tour.

So naturally, everyone expected Tom to be going to the No Way Home premiere alone, without his wife and daughter - including Tom himself!

But, part way through his interviews, Tom was distracted by an all too familiar pair of girls pulling up to the red carpet. He immediately excused himself to go see his family.

Y/N arrived in a sexy red 2-piece and blazer, with a shy Rosie hoisted onto her hip and tucked into her neck. She was also sporting a cheeky red-lipped smile as her husband sped over to the two of them.

Tom immediately took hold of his little girl, and she instantly perked up at the sight of her dad, planting a sloppy kiss on his lips. Tom was seen wrapping his arm around his wife’s waist and whispering into her ear.

Over the course of the night, we got many cute snaps of the family together, with Tom and Y/N constantly fawning over their little girl, or sharing affectionate moments between each other.

The couple have been together for 6 years, meeting just before Tom was cast as Peter Parker and just after Y/N released her first studio album. They have always been a fan favourite, especially with us here at celebtattletale.

So it’s safe to say that Rose stole the show when she was born and now on the red carpet for the first time, being the perfect addition to this a-list couple.

And we just can’t help but hope that, at some point soon, Rose will be getting a little brother or sister. Those two do make beautiful babies.

587 notes - Posted February 17, 2022

#4

Family Fun: Chris Evans heads to the coast for a day at the beach with wife and kids

This weekend, Chris Evans (40) was spotted taking his wife and kids out to the coast of Massachusetts to enjoy a day at the beach.

The whole family were seen splashing about in the sea, a couple of the kids jumping over the waves, with the help of Chris, while wife Y/N (33) held the newest addition close to her chest.

Two months ago, the couple added baby Belle to their ever growing brood with Christopher Jr. (6), Flynn (4) and Mickey (3). At least now Mama Evans finally gets another girl in the house!

The family of six could be seen playing in the water in an array of colourful swimsuits. Y/N appeared in a black bikini, looking radiant with some of her postpartum baby belly clinging to her stomach.

Chris was evidently shirtless as he showed of his abs and chest hair in a pair of swimming trunks.

It was easy to see from the pictures that the paparazzi captured of Chris that a new tattoo has emerged, joining the collection he has on the side of his ribs.

During previous outings, fans had spotted that Chris had his kids names written on the right side of his body, and found his devotion to his family adorable.

And now little Belle's name is sat with the rest of them!

At any rate, the Evans family seemed to have fun at the beach, although the children were reportedly seem grimacing at their parents kissing.

Y/N and Chris have been together for nine years now and had a lovely winter wedding in 2015 when Y/N was already pregnant with their first child.

But we cannot fault the couple for their endless love, or the obvious devotion for their kids that they display constantly. Whenever Chris brings his family to an event, the world swoons at the perfection and displays of affection Chris shows to his wife and kids.

And this weekend seemed much the same, with Chris seen carrying his children on his shoulders and building sandcastles with them.

What an adorable sight!

789 notes - Posted April 10, 2022

#3

Surprise at the Oscars! Y/N L/N is pregnant with husband Henry Cavill’s baby

Y/N L/N (32) is pregnant! Last weekend she attended the Oscars with husband Henry Cavill (38), showing off her sizeable bump to the whole world.

Y/N was nominated as best actress in a leading role for her part as Lowen Ashleigh in the film adaptation of Colleen Hoover’s romance thriller ‘Verity’.

The film was delightfully disturbing, with psychological terror and romantic drama spiced with lusty sex scenes.

And it was no surprise when she won, helped up on stage by Henry whilst cradling her stomach protectively beneath her dress. Henry barely let go of her and kissed her cheek as she went up on stage.

Y/N was looking gorgeous in an ivory, tulle gown with delicate flowers embroidered along the bodice and her shoulders. The tea-length style dress bulged over the actress’ belly beautifully.

And it wasn’t only Y/N showered with praise. In her speech, many references were made to her husband, Henry, thanking him for his support and love.

This all-star couple have been together for 7 years in total and married for 3 and the whole world has loved watching their relationship grow and blossom.

The two met in 2014 through a mutual friend and the tabloids went wild after seeing the two out to lunch together. However Henry admitted that it took him 8 more months to ask her out!

Both actors kept us waiting, with it taking another 4 years for them to announce that they had gotten married. Photos of the wedding were released a few weeks after their honeymoon to Greece.

They married in a beautiful outdoor ceremony from what we could see with Henry looking absolutely dashing in his suit and Y/N stunning both him and us in her dress.

And ever since, everyone has been waiting to see a baby Cavill appear. I guess we won’t have to wait much longer…

Y/N is seven months pregnant but neither actor has revealed the sex of the baby or even whether they know themselves. At least we do know that with such beautiful parents that baby will be adorable.

This is most definitely the best surprise we could have gotten at the Oscars this year!

855 notes - Posted March 12, 2022

#2

How Young? Chris Evans reveals he got married at just 19 years old

Chris Evans (40) has always been an actor that was openly devoted to his family and ever since he appeared on our screens there have been no dating scandals or other public controversies.

And that’s probably because he’s been married for as long as the world has known him and is constantly adding to his brood of adorable children.

Last night, Chris appeared on Jimmy Kimmel Live, promoting the launch of one of his newest projects, 'Lightyear', a story of Buzz Lightyear and his adventures to infinity and beyond.

Chris appeared looking sexy as ever in a blue suit, highlighting his muscles.

When Jimmy brought up who was most looking forward to seeing the animated movie, Chris immediately answered that his kids had been begging to see it ever since they found out that their dad was going to Buzz Lightyear.

It was then that Jimmy brought out a cute photo of Chris, his wife Y/N (39) and their 5 kids:

Brandon (18)

Lowel (14)

Rayne (11)

Teddy (7)

Laurelai (2)

The picture captured the 7 Evans's at a family event in their garden, a year after the birth of little Laurelai. And all members of the family looked their best, especially Y/N in a cute navy dress with a white floral pattern and low neckline.

Jimmy went on to ask Chris how long he and his wife had actually been married, as Chris became an actor fairly young and there was never a point where Y/N didn't seem to have been there.

Chris revealed that 'we got married right after her high school graduation, a year after I had graduated myself, so I was 19 and she was 18.

'We met in Y/N’s freshman year - my sophomore year - when she joined the cheerleading squad and I was part of the football team. Such a cliché, i know.

‘Once I finally asked her out, we dated all throughout high school.We were that couple that was obnoxiously in love, always holding hands and making out in the hallway.

‘And then after she finished school, we figured why wait? So we got married in a little ceremony in my mom’s back yard.’

When asked if it was tough being married at such a young age and then having his first kid only a few years later, Chris replied that it was difficult with Y/N getting her degree and him starting his acting career, but they made it work by just keeping talking to each other.

And now the high school sweethearts are as close as ever, living with their 3 sons, 2 daughters and 2 dogs - Dodger and Pixie, in Boston in the house that Y/N designed herself after she became an architect.

We here at celebtattletale wish the family the best and I'm sure that we can all only hope for a love like theirs.

1,138 notes - Posted April 2, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Missing Ring? Fans spot that Chris Evans' newly-wed is missing a certain piece of jewellery

Two weeks ago, Chris Evans (40) got married to the love of his life and partner of four years, Y/N L/N (28) in a small backyard ceremony in his hometown of Boston.

Everyone went wild when Chris posted a picture of him and his beautiful bride on Instagram after not revealing any information about his upcoming wedding, other than one would be coming.

And we here at celebtattletale can say with certainty that Chris chose a beautiful woman to spend the rest of his life with.

Fans have adored Y/N ever since Chris confirmed that he was in a relationship with a young woman back in Boston, and love seeing pictures of her and Dodger being posted.

She looked stunning on their wedding day, with her arms linked with Chris' in his simple suit, clinging to his muscles. Y/N wore a stunning white dress, flowing about her ankles.

And now Chris and his newly-wed wife have set off on their honeymoon to Italy. They have spent the past two weeks there enjoying marital bliss and trying to keep to themselves.

Chris has posted just one photo of their trip and fans couldn't help but notice that something was missing from the picture that Chris captioned: 'with you'.

Throughout their relationship, Chris has spoken about how many people noticed that his girlfriend wore a ring on her left ring finger, although the couple were not engaged.

The ring was in fact a purity ring, and despite not telling the public whether Y/N wore it for religious reasons or not, Chris has said that he supported her decision to keep that part of herself for herself only until she felt ready.

And although, the idea of purity rings has been criticised in the media, fans have applauded Y/N for choosing to remain abstinent until she wanted to share that.

So when they spotted that the ring was missing from her finger, everyone on Instagram began searching for the piece of jewellery, as it is usually worn by the partner or kept.

Last weekend, Chris and Y/N were seen snuggling up on their honeymoon by a paparazzo and when the pictures were published, it did not take long for people to spot the ring on a chain around Chris' neck!

While we hope that the couple spend the rest of their honeymoon in peace, we cannot help but adore their devotion to one another and how they support each other.

1,919 notes - Posted April 12, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[raccooninthedaytime]

Tagged by the one and only @downton-not-downtown-smh thank u bae

10 characters, 10 fandoms, 10 tags

1. Pierre Bezukhov - Natasha, Pierre, and the Great Comet of 1812

Hey, my sideblog is the named after him for nothing. Multiple mental illnesses + friend shaped + voice of an angel = Ultimate comfort character

2. Dirk Gently - Dirk Gently’s Holistic Detective Agency

Whats with me and all these fandoms with long ass names? Watch this show, read this book, solve this mystery. My heart resides in this British freak of nature <3. Everything is connected!

3. Jude Duarte - The Folk of the Air series

She’s from a book, so i got no gifs of her. But she really is the definition of Support Womens rights and also Womens Wrongs. She means everything and more to me

4. Shawn Spencer - Psych

hes just a FUNNY LITTLE GUY!! Literally i think i watched too much of this show as a kid and absorbed his humor as my personality. Shawn, if you’re here with me in the room now, i love you king keep on keepin on

5. Annabeth Chase - The Lightning Thief

Yes, this is specific to the musical version if her character. No, i will not take criticism for that. I love her here in all her aro-ace ness. Next question

6. Jack Skellington - The Nightmare Before Christmas

Hey king!! Sorry sorry sorry Hey *Pumpkin King! We love a man who can own up to his mistakes in song <3

7. Elizabeth Bennet - Pride and Prejudice

AAA my girl my main squeeze. I’d kill and die for you. I’d start a book club just to hear your thoughts on it. You mean everything to me im sorry about what enemies to lovers did to you and darcy

8. Abed Nadir - Community

They do you so dirty, ragging on you about how you’re not living in a tv show. I see you though. I know you deep in my soul. #andamovie

9. Marta Cabrera - Knives Out

A queen, a girlboss, the main event. You are helpful even when you know you shouldn’t be, and you are the epitome of goodness. AND you’re a badass. Marry me now

10. Fox Mulder - The X-Files

This list is dangerously on the verge of leaving comfort characters and becoming some kinnie shit (a concept I don’t yet understand, okay, give me a break). This dude is me. He’s also aro-ace, he’s a mystery solver, he makes stupid jokes, he likes the spooky. Fox, you slay

Tagging: @sushi-salsa-squirrel @riotgrrrrill @acesophiewalten @peaked-in-third-grade @dreadful-windandrain @pamesjatterson @reanimationstation @ahrileinchen @cold-egg @anarchyarsoneldritchabomination have fun!

[episodeoftv]

Round 5 of 8

propaganda and summaries are under the cut (May include spoilers)

Community: 3.04 Remedial Chaos Theory

tws: a gun is fired and a character is shown smoking

At Abed and Troy's housewarming party, Jeff decides to let the decision on who gets the pizza rest on the roll of the dice, leaving Abed to contemplate six alternate realities.

Even if you have never seen the show, this episode HAS impacted you. It is the origin of the phrase “the Darkest Timeline” and is also where that gif of the guy (Troy) with pizza walking into a room that’s on fire/total chaos. As an episode, it is so unbelievably tightly written. Despite this being the fourth episode of the third season, if you watched this as your first ever episode of Community you would IMMEDIATELY get who all of these characters are. And not just that, but the group dynamic. It’s hilarious but also a great, well, “study” of the Study Group. Also the “what does a pregnancy test look like?” Joke is still one of the funniest/most clever things ever put to film.

this episode is such a banger no notes

origin of this gif/meme. Also a great character and character relationships study

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Remedial_Chaos_Theory

Doctor Who (2005): 5.10 Vincent and the Doctor

Tw: is about Vincent Van Gogh so does deal with self harm, depression, and suicide (but not graphically, just this is what happened in his life and they acknowledge it)

The Doctor and Amy travel back in time to meet Vincent Van Gogh and face an invisible monster that only the painter can see.

Not the showiest or even the best episode of Dr Who, but the one that I can’t watch without tearing up at the end. Really well written and performed and generally gorgeous to watch as well. I first saw it when I was ten and the speech at the end has imprinted on my brain and given me a language to help understand the ups and downs that life brings. It’s just a lovely one.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vincent_and_the_Doctor

[robtownsend]

turn week day 5, favorite relationship: abraham woodhull & robert townsend

[descendantofthesparrow]

Buff! Reader x Simp! Harry - Oneshot

gif by TDOHERTYGIFS on twitter 

-info-

*(y/n) is Gaston's daughter, one he hasn’t claimed since he “doesn’t do girls” a few months older than Gil (dude went through a good handful of women at a time to try to get boys) and is very strong due to her trying to prove her worth to her dead beat dad (stopped doing that around 13 and just got fucking jacked for the hell of it) and genetics, and is also very tall; 6ft 3. something from her mother's side not Gaston's*

outfit/style reference;

=

“Are you fucking serious” you muttered as you lifted a beam into your shoulder, narrowing your eyes as you spotted your little brother walking towards you with a sheepish grin. “what happened?”

“uh” Gil started, rubbing the back of his neck and kicking a stray stone out of his way as he came to a stop in front of you. “well, Harry kinda-had a fight, and um, I need your help moving some stuff out of the chip-shop before Uma’s mom sees it” you groaned and rolled your neck back, setting down the beam and wiping your gloved hands on your pants.

“lead the way” you droned and Gil turned on his heel and bolted, leaving you to run after him “Not that fast!” you yelled after him and quickly took off, your long legs letting you catch up with him even with his head start. When you arrived at the chip shop, you could easily see why Gil had come to get you.

It was just, an absolute mess, chairs and tables were everywhere, the fucking organ was tipped over, the main stage had somehow been split off from the catwalk, nails sticking out from the splintered wood, and multiple light fixtures were either about to fall off or were already on the floor.

And in the middle of it was a sheepish Harry Hook, one of Gil’s friends you had not seen in a good couple years, and Uma scolding him, waving her finger in his face as he stared down at his boots. “how in the hell did he do this?” you asked, gesturing to the destruction and Gil shrugged.

“He got into a fight with Jr and third, and their gang jumped in” you hummed at that, the twins were just destruction incarnate, even breaking Hook’s prized piano at one point, and that thing was tough as shit, built out of very strong wood and metal, and weighing over 500 pounds. “and it just-escalated…so?” Gil gestured to the mess and raised his brows at you “Uma said there would be pay involved?”

At that, you started to work, taking off your rings and jacket, revealing your very built arms covered in tattoos and lower arms wrapped in bandages. Harry had long stopped staring at his boots, his scarlet-colored face staring directly at you, or well, your arms. He watched as you took off your rings one at a time and slid them into your jacket pocket, then slid off your jacket to reveal a pair of arms that just had him fucking drooling. Your abs were in full view as well, making for a very-very! Lovely sight for the pirate who loved tall, and very strong; women.

“who-who is tha’?” Harry suddenly whispered out, breaking Uma from her current scolding of Harry. She furrowed her brows and turned, letting out an ‘ooh’ sound as she spotted you; already flipping up tables and righting chairs, throwing out ones that were too busted.

“that’s (y/n)?” Uma said as if Harry should know you, but he didn’t, well, he recognized the name but-not you? “Gil’s sister? (y/n)? Dude come on, we met her years ago, she was at Evie's party?” Harry just continued to stare at you, his jaw-dropping in awe as you easily lifted the organ back into place, something that even Gil had an incredible time trying to lift, and you had just-done it without breaking a sweat.

Uma glanced between you and Harry, then she smirked, patting Harry’s shoulder “ahhhh I see” Harry’s eyes snapped back down to Uma, brow raised as the red flush across his cheeks faded. “you like her~” at this Harry slapped his hand on Uma’s face, pushing her back as she cackled “oh my gods you do!”

“shut” Harry grumbled, curling in on himself as you glanced back at him, wondering what Uma was laughing about as you put tables and chairs in their rightful places. “fuck” Uma chuckled at Harry’s quiet curse and pulled Harry’s hand off her face, pushing it into his chest and then turning him towards (y/n) “go on~” Uma cooed, leaning into Harry and pushing him with her shoulder as he stood stone-still, staring wide-eyed at you.

Uma sighed, leaning off of Harry and walking towards you, leaving Harry to silently panic a few feet away. You turned to look at her, setting down the broken chandelier that had fallen from the ceiling and looking down at Uma as she came to a stop in front of you. As she told you what needed to be done, you noticed Harry staring at you, eyes blown wide and cheeks dark pink. You tilted your head at him, a slow smirk drawing on your lips as he ducked his head down, ears turning red as well.

You hummed as Uma called your name, looking back down at her and crossing your arms “think you can do that for me? I'll pay double?” Uma asked, talking about you repairing any damages to the chip shop along with simply putting everything back. You nodded, turning and getting to work as Uma sighed in relief.

For the next four hours as you worked, Harry continued to stare at you, only looking away when Uma or Gil got his attention, then he would go back to you. Mostly at your arms or back as you lifted, shoved, pulled, and repaired many things around the chip shop. And soon you had completed the job, the repair jobs were patchy due to the lack of resources for them but-it worked for now.

You picked your jacket up and slid it on, taking the rings from your pocket and putting them on as Harry continued to stare you down. You stood to your full height and walked over to him, smirking as he completely froze and stared up at you. “you’ve been staring at me all night” you grumbled and Harry flushed as you trapped him against the wall, arms on either side of his head. “got any problems?”

“i-“ Harry squeaked unable to speak as you tilted your head. You hummed, pat his cheek twice, then stepped back and turned on your heel to leave the chip shop. Leaving a furiously blushing Harry behind, his knees wobbled and he fell to the floor, covering his face as he let out a few harsh breaths “fuck”

-

And that’s pretty much how things went whenever you were called to the chip shop to repair something either a customer or Harry broke, the son of Hook always standing nearby you and either staring silently with a heavy blush or; something he recently started doing, singing your praises to the isle.

“yeh do tha’ so easily” he sighed out dreamily one time, watching as you lifted two tables above your head, and carried them outside. You would smile, flex, and chuckle as he turned red and lost his balance. If you had to be honest, he was adorable, practically simping for you and your build. One of those days, where someone the night before had been an asshole and broke a floorboard; you were in the middle of fixing it when you felt a hand slap your ass. You went to stand and slam your fist into the perpetrator's face, only to see Harry already on him, hook in the greasy man's face and eyes flashing red. “yeh don’ treat a lady like tha’ yeh filth” he snarled, the edge of his hook slicing into the man's cheek.

“it’s not like she’s your girl or anything?!” the man yelled as if that justified his disgusting action. You closed your eyes and walked forward, grabbing Harry below his armpits, making him release the man as you picked him up with ease and set him on a nearby table, kissing his forehead as you took off your jacket and set it on his lap. Ignoring Uma as she whistled as you turned to the man, easily standing over him. You smirked as you saw a dark spot grow in his pants, he hadn’t realized just how big you were; you grabbed his neck, picked him up, and walked him outside. You tossed him into the pile of fish guts that were being disregarded by some fishermen, those surrounding the chip shop burst into laughter as the man flushed in embarrassment for being put in his place by a woman, one that was stronger and much taller than him no less.

You nodded with satisfaction, turning on your heel and walking back into the chip shop, retrieving your jacket from the frozen form of Harry, whose entire face had turned red from the moment you had picked him up. You chuckled and slid on the black denim jacket, then picked Harry back up and set him on his feet, kissing the top of his head. “thank you Hooky” you purred, smiling as you could see steam coming off his face as he stared up at you. “same time tomorrow?”

“aye-aye” he whispered, watching you walk off with a pep in your step as the chip shop whistled for him, Gil laughing his ass off as his sister had left the usually very talkative and flirty pirate speechless.

Harry had always had a thing for women who could bench press him.

-

A few weeks later, (y/n) was hardly seen without Harry by her side, unless he was needed for first mate duties. If she was eating, he was right next to her, his legs in her lap at her insistence, being carried over her shoulder when he was tired (if you can’t tell im taking inspo from YashaxBeau lol), the first time this happened; it was a late-night after one of the rival gangs attacked Uma’s ship, wanting her territory. They failed, obviously, not expecting the six-foot-three buff as hell amazon warrior of a woman to be there.

But after the crew celebrated their victory, (y/n) was getting ready to head out when Harry pulled at her jacket sleeve. She turned to him with a raised brow, smiling as he shyly whispered something out with a heavy blush on his face. “what was that?” (y/n) asked, leaning down to get into his face, practically caging him against the table, which he didn’t mind at all. “will-will yeh carry me?” he asked again, just barely loud enough for (y/n) to hear.

Her teasing smirk turned soft and she nodded, picking Harry up in a fireman's hold and carrying him out of the chip shop, Uma and Gil giving Harry an enthusiastic thumbs up. He winked back, cuddling into (y/n)s warmth. She let out a low chuckle and Harry froze, knowing she had felt his movements as he wordlessly praised her to Uma and Gil from behind her back.

She set him down in front of his room, kissed the top of his head and waved to him as she walked off, laughing as she could spot his scarlet red face from the docks. He was a simp, but he was her simp.

-

Harry; behind the scenes.

After that first night where (y/n) had repaired the chip shop, Harry burst into Gil’s room, his face still beet red and eyes blown wide “dude-the fuck-“ Gil said, leaning back as Harry got into his face. “I’m really disappointed,” Harry started off, pulling away from Gil and waving his hands around as he spoke “yeh didn’t tell me about ‘er?! How did this escape my attention, I can’t believe no one, especially yeh, told meh about her! What in tha’ fuck did yeh not tell meh about-(y/n)! yer sister!”

Harry ranted as he paced around Gil’s room, who now sat on his bed amused as Harry pulled at his hair, a stupid dreamy smile on his lips “six feet and three inches tall are yeh kidding me!? Six feet-what tha’ fuck!” Harry spun around to face Gil, holding his hands up in defense “I’m not one fer objectifying but-hades balls-okay?! How-how many times have I said, I want a woman who can crush my head in between her thighs, and-!” Harry pointed into a random corner of Gil’s room, motioning to a person that wasn’t there “-any part of her body can crush my head. And I know what part yer thinking of, and that’s just-one of several options!”

Gil groaned, leaning into his hand, this was going to be a long night of listening to Harry simp for his sister. “and hades-fuckin’-Look at her! No one told me!? I had ta find out about this today?! She’s a fuckin goddess Gil, a goddess! And yeh, didn’t, tell, me!!!” Harry walked up to Gil and shook him, Gil snorting and rolling his eyes. He pushed Harry away, letting him continue to rant into the wee hours of the morning, knowing if Harry got his simp energy out now, there would be less to deal with later.

….

There wasn’t less to deal with later

-end-

I FINALLY DID IT, IM HAPPY WITH IT AND THATS WHAT MATTERS, ONCE AGAIN THANK YOU @itstheimperfectwriter​ FOR WRITING THE OG SIMP HARRY X BUFF READER THAT U DID FOR ME  I STILL LOVE IT WITH ALL MY HEART.

okay permtaglist (we gotta new tag to add too~!)

@queer-cosette​ @sephiralorange​ @lunanight2012​

@daughter-of-the-stars11​ @musicarose​ @rintheemolion​

@random-thoughts-003​ @remembered-license​ @imtryingthisout​

@thecaptainsgingersnap​ @verboetoperee​ @saryguerrero​ 

@dai-tsukki-desu​

[black-silystya]

[yesokaythatsfine69]

You Sexy Thing (Levi Ackerman x reader)

Description: Often Captain Levi is a little shit, and sometimes- he needs to be reminded about who's in control.

Character(s): Y/n, Levi

Pov: 2nd person, third person

Warning(s): SMUT!!! PORN WITHOUT PLOT- PEGGING, 18+

A/n: I keep seeing all this talk about pegging Levi Ackerman but I couldn't find anything to show- so in the words of Thanos, "I guess I'll do it myself"

Word Count:

*none of the Gifs used are mine, full credit goes to the maker :)

Your fists clenched, nails digging into the palms, on the verge of breaking skin. The yelps of your fellow squad members caused your teeth to grind. They had to have ran over four miles today- probably more- they had to do suicides double time, all of this shit and more were because the lovely supreme commander of heaven and hell, Squad leader Levi Ackerman had felt their cleaning of the stalls had been less than ideal.

Currently you were in the midst of doing push ups till he deemed fit. You glanced up at the captain, watching as his silver eyes roamed over the lot of you. Even as you seethed and raged- he was still the most gorgeous sight your eyes had ever laid upon. Levi's hair was raven black, in contrast to his light skin and silvery orbs. His hair was what caught you at first- the way it seemed to fall over his eyes just a bit.

It was long enough you could pull your fingers through- you were sure. You could only imagined how soft it must be. Levi facial features also caught you at a loss for words- they were quite dainty. Long black eye lashes, a soft line nose, and thin pink lips. God, was he pretty.

Your eyes moved from their spot, away from your Adonis and to the ground. No matter how pretty he was, he was still a bastard.

You mumbled incoherently to yourself, flexing your fists. The pain of doing another pushup finally getting to you. "Tch, I think you've all learned your lessons." You looked up again, knees dropping. The Devil himself spoke, lifting his hand and waving it in dismissal. "Go to the showers, you brats stink." Blowing a strand of hair from your eye, you rolled your shoulders back, taking Petra's outstretched hand as you bounded up.

No one spoke as they dispersed. You were itching for a shower, and you practically ran to get one.

You were dead tired, dead sleepy, and running on pure anger.

You watched the water flow into the drain near your feet, fixated on nothing but the boiling water as it hit you. Your anger had not evaporated-it simply grew. If he thought he could've done a better job, maybe he should have done it. You slammed the water off.

Or perhaps- and this was just a thought- he could let you get some real training in, instead of wasting your time and energy on being punished.

Punished.

Your eyes narrowed.

You stepped from the shower, one foot at a time.

Perhaps...the omnipotent captain Levi deserved a punishment of his own. Something that would...bring him down a peg.

You smiled, remembering a certain box hid underneath just for this type of reason.

"I think I might have just the thing."

--------------------------------------------------

Levi was just as sexy (if not more) than he was pretty. Something about him, oozed it. Maybe it was the way he walked, confident but not egotistical. They way spoke- his voice. His dry humor, his bleak expressions, his impeccable fighting skills and savagery...his taunt ass, or maybe it was the way his uniform hugged his body.

Your hands tugged at a box that laid deep beneath your bed. It scraped against the floor, finally sliding directly in front of you. You unhooked the latch, pulling out the important piece of equipment you'd need tonight.

You bit your tongue.

--------------------------------------------------

The truth was, you could spot a bottom from a mile away. It was also the people who needed control in their daily lives- people who needed everything perfect. At night they liked to take a break- to be controlled. Who were you to judge? You couldn't blame them, not hardly.

You knocked at his office door. It was late, barely a few minutes before lights out. For several seconds nothing happened, but you waited. Patience was a specialty.

"Come in." The tone was annoyed, and as you entered you could see why. He had stacks of papers before him, a signal candle lighting the room. Levi rubbed his temples, a sign that the dim lighting had an affect.

His eyes flickered up to met yours, "lieutenant Y/L/N?" The air was tense and goosebumps erupted across your forearms. "Captain Levi, I'm glad I caught you." His Expression remained unchanging. "Tch, yeah, I'm sure. What do you want, brat?"

You smiled, your hands intertwining from behind your back. "You to apologise." His entire body paused. Levi twitched his head to the side, a small movement. "Oh? So you're here to waste both are times then, y/l/n." You turned, locking his office door behind you.

Levi stood. "Oi, oi, oi, what do you think you're doing?" You turned back to face him. "The only person who wasted our time today was you." His eyes narrowed slightly. This was a side of you he hadn't been used to. Sure, he'd seen this intense focus on your face before, this same expression you wore when you sliced and diced titan after titan.

"Tch, what are you on about you stupid-" I'm flash you had his hair in your grip, dragging his head to you. "It's not nice to call people stupid, Levi." His eyes were wide, and his face was inches away from your own. "I can forgive that though, especially when you look so pretty like this."

His eyes sunk back, his shock leaving him. "Oi, I guess you've got me where you want me." You smiled, innocence twinkled in your irises. "Not yet I don't." Loosening your tight grip, you gently guided his head to close the gap between you two.

His eyes fluttered close upon impact, the tenseness he often carried with his resolve melting away with the warmth of your lips. You hummed, feeling the way he seemed to open up with your touch. Gently you scratched his scalp, pulling a sigh from his mouth.

When it opened you wasted no time slipping in your tongue. He tasted like tea, which wasn't suprising but was rather delightful. He let out a small groan as she gave his bottom lip a small bite, tugging softly. Her hands slipped underneath his shirt, dancing across his warm chest and abs. The feeling of what lied beneath was enticing and she pulled away eager to see it.

Levi groaned when you left him, an irritated, "y/n." Leaving his lips as his arms tried to find you, to bring you back to him. You escaped him though and worked to pull his shirt off.

When you had an object so important it was natural that worked as efficiently as possible to succeed. With that mindset you had him shirtless within seconds, Levi felt that had to be some type of record.

With his comfort in mind as soon as his shirt was off you folded it properly, working as efficiently as you had to take if off of him. When your eyes met his, they twinkled with something akin to admiration. You smiled and pulled him into a chaste kiss, his tongue moving to part your lips, but fire he could succeed you began moving.

You kissed his chin, and he frowned. "What are-" Then you kissed his neck and a shiver racked his body. His breath quickened and shook, your lips planting directly over his heartbeat. You sucked, making sure to leave him as many reminders of tonight as you could.

Your lips moved down his chest, blessing each nipple with a tug of teeth. Licking a stripe down his v line, you unbottoned his pants. He moaned, "y/n..." Watching as you tugged down his underwear with your teeth. His length sprained free, looking almost as eager as you.

"Stunning..." You spoke licking a line up his shaft. His legs shook at your move and you laughed, wrapping your first around his base. "It can't be this easy, Levi." He blinked looking down at you in bewilderment.

You lifted yourself up, becoming eye level with him. As light as a feather you stroked his cheek, his head leaning into your hand as though it were instinct. "I figured humanity's strongest would have put up more of fight." His eyes narrowed. "Especially since you seem to love giving orders." Your nails stabbed into his skin, his eyes widened and he pulled back "tch! You bitch!"

Your other hand grabbed his neck, squeezing it and bringing him to you. "I've wanted you for so long. Do you have any idea how hard it is to be so close and yet so far, to someone everyone wants." "Y/n." Levi whimpered as your hand tightened around his throat. "Maybe you do know how much you're wanted. Maybe you like it." You let go and he fell forward, you catching him.

"I guess we'll just have to add that to lists of why you must be punished." You pushed him to his knees, his pants still wrapped around his ankles. Your foot spread his legs apart, and kept them there. Your hand found his chin, pulling his face up.

"i hope you like this view, you'll need to get used to it." You pulled up your shirt, taking it off effortlessly. His eyes widened at your chest- you had chosen to go braless. Then, they relaxed, his tongue going between his teeth.

You pulled your pants off next, and then your underwear. The strap you had put on before you left your room flung out, and Levi looked between you and it. "Like I said, you need to be punished..." You stroked the strap on. "I consider this the punisher." You voice had dropped an octave lower.

Levi took on a dazed expression, half lidden eyes taking in the sight. "Open your mouth." His eyes flickered back up to you. They were big and puppy like."I said." You reached down and pinched his two cheeks together. "Open. Your. Mouth." His pretty little mouth popped open, and your hips thrusted the device in. Your hand ran through his hair as he sucked, when you reached the back of his head you pushed him forward.

Levi gagged around your cock, the fake tip hitting the back of his throat. Tears prickled, in his eyes, but your coos to take in more, to be a good boy for you, they caused his brows the furrow as he adjusted and did what he could to please you.

Using your grip on his head he allowed you guide him at your will, submitting to the drive of your hands. His eyes closed finally and your leg pressed up against his own hard on. "Who would've thought humanity's strongest could look so hot sucking dick." You spoke softly, causing your good boy to moan into the dick.

Finally, you pulled away watching the strings of salvia appear and separate as you let him go. His head bobbled towards you, his eyes barely open.

"fuck me...please." you bent down to where he was. "Oh baby..." Again, you stroked his cheek gently. "I'll do so much more than that to you. When I'm done with you...you won't be able to walk tomorrow." His breathe caught and you laughed. "Be my good boy and go to your desk. Ass out."

You watched him stand and walk to his desk, still filled with long forgotten papers and a dimly lit candle. You stood and moved to the neat pile you had placed his clothes in.

You pulled out his belt, smiling and snapping it. This could be useful.

You moved to where he stood, wrapping yourself behind him. "How well you listen, Levi." You slammed his upper body down onto the desk, pulling his hips up. His ass was on full display in the air, as perky as you imagined. Taking two fingers, you shoved them up is mouth.

Levi didn't need a command, his tongue went right to work. He wrapped it around your fingers while he moaned, pushing his hips against you and your cock.

"cheeky, cheeky." You smirked taking your free hand to grab his ass. Finally satisfied you pulled her fingers from his mouth.

"more..." His voice rasped out. "More? I haven't even started." With that you pushed your fingers into his tight hole. You began scissoring them, watching as he twitched beneath you. His breathing became louder the more you curled. Then you hit his prostate and he cried out, gasping at the intense pleasure you gave him.

Your fingers pulled out, and you reached for the belt that you had placed beside him for such a moment. "Tch, y/n please you must-" you reared the belt back and slammed it forward, the belt bouncing off his ass with a thrup! Sound. He gasped delightedly, his cheek pressed up against the cold metal of his desk.

Again you reared down, jolting his body. "You." Slap. "Think." Slap. "That." Slap. "You." Slap. "Can." Slap. "Just." Slap. "Treat." Slap. "People." Slap. "Like." Slap. "Shit." Slap. "Just." Slap. "Because." Slap. "You." Slap. "Are." Slap. "A." Slap. "Squad." Slap. "Leader." Tears streamed from his eyes, ass red and tender.

"you can't." You grabbed his hands from his sides, "and now you're going to be tied up with your own belt, right after you were just spanked with your own belt." You slide the belt around till it was tight enough to only hurt a bit.

Then you you raised his hands directly over his head. This was used as something to grip onto while you fucked him.

Her other hand made sure you two were properly aligned, and with little more than a grunt you thrusted in. A breath released from his body, a shout escaped his lips as you bottomed out.

You waited several seconds, gently stroking his face and cooing to him, waiting. Finally he nodded, telling you everything you needed to know. You pulled back, almost completely out, save for the tip before you plowed into him.

Your hips thrusted- hard and faster. The only way Levi Ackerman deserved- rough. Each time you bottomed out he grunted and it became a steady rhythm of grunts.

"nnnuh...nuuhhnn..ahhh..." He was drooling, each hit of his prostate weakening his resolve a bit more and making him a bit more needy for more.

Your position made it almost impossible for him to move and he could really only met your thrusts. "Harder!" He gasped out, tears running down his face, drool dripping from his mouth.

Your hand reached around and tugged along his dick, high pitched whines now leaving the captains mouth. "Y/n! Y/n I'm so close please, please." You bent down and bit into his shoulder, causing another Yelp to leave the squad leader.

"cum, bitch." You whispered to his ear and with a cry Levi Ackerman came, his eyes practically crossing as he painted his chest and desk white.

He laid their several seconds, breathing harshly and listening to the sounds of your praises. He was a good boy, he was. He was your good boy now, all yours.

Gently you helped him up and into his shower, fully discarding his bottoms and your strap, to take back to your room to wash.

You cleaned, scrubbed, and were as gentle as possible, making sure to help him to his bed.

You pulled your shirt over your head. "I can stay till you leave for breakfast...if you want that is but-" he cut you off. "Tch...Stay as long as you want." He pulled himself up and onto his elbows. "Especially since you didn't cum."

You raised a brow. "Levi, I appreciate it, but I don't think you're read yet...I mean- we-" again he cut you off. "Y/n, my mouth is always ready."

You paused. He was right, you hadn't cum and not very often did the people you slept with care. He was offering his mouth to you- not that Levi surprised you much- he was very caring and it seemed natural he'd be that way in bed.

You smiled and tugged off your shirt. "I hope you're hungry." You crawled into the bed, barely having to do a damn thing as Levi simply hoisted you up- as if you weighed nothing- and sat you on his face.

His nose carded through your folds- parting them for his tongue. Your hips buckled against him, thighs closing around his face. His hands came up and wrapped around them, pressing them together.

"Fuck, Levi." You moaned as his tongue licked from your hole to your clit, where he sucked for several seconds. Again he pushed his nose up into you, allowing you to ride his face and practically suffocate him. "God, you're so good." You squealed, yanking at his raven locks. He had definitely done this before and definitely knew how good he was.

He hummed into you, pushing you down each time your hips buckled up. Finally it seemed he had enough with your erratic movements before he flipped you into your back and moved so that he was on his stomach, mouth never leaving your core.

Your legs wrapped around his head as he ate, each time dipping his head in deeper to your core. His tongue fucked your hole with urgency, meaning, desire and finally with one final plunge you came, wetting his face.

He pulled away, allowing you to sit up. Your legs were shaky, but you moved so that you were directly in front of him. You licked your juices from his face, meeting him in a chaste kiss.

"Maybe I should be more harsh on you cadets more often." He spoke hurriedly as she pushed him down. You tutted. "Did you really learn nothing, my sweet boy?" He shrugged allowing you to pin his hands down above him.

"What can I say? I am the leader of the brats."

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BONUS

Erwin frowned at his friend and colleague. The two had been eating breakfast together and everything had seemed rather ordinary until Erwin noticed a bruise on the side of Levi's neck.

"uh..Levi?" Levi glanced up. "Where did you get that bruise?" Levi frowned at Erwin. "What bruise?" Erwin rolled his eyes impatiently. "The one on your neck."

"Hello everyone! I hope everyone slept well!" Hanji appeared interrupting the conversation. She slid into a chair on the other side of Levi, smiling happily.

Erwin made a few more glances at Levi's neck, but felt it best to leave it, lest he be smitted by the all powerful Levi Ackerman.

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A/n: BARK BARK BARK okay I definitely got a bit...carried away. Anyways I hope you enjoyed this, thanks for reading, and pls feel free to give critism!

[vro0m]

vro0m’s rewatch - 39/288

2009 Bahrain GP

Recap + GIFs

It’s round 4. Quali report : the Toro Rossos didn’t make it into Q2. Lewis managed to make 5th, while Kovalainen is 11th. He seems happy. Jenson is 4th. Seb 3rd. It’s a Toyota front row, Trulli on pole. Didn’t see that coming tbh.

We’re told Lewis kept a low profile and didn’t talk much after the Australian scandal. But they managed to get an interview with him. (I posted a snippet of it here fyi)

He says he hasn’t had a very relaxing season so far but he’s enjoying his time in Bahrain. It’s tough at the moment. They talk about the scandal and he says it’s been a huge low after the success of last season. They wanted to work hard and do their best even though they don’t have a great car and be quiet and it hasn’t been the case. He says :

“I race because I love racing. This has been my dream for many many years, I never thought I’d be– I’d get here and be in this position. But the greatest thing was that I had– I had so much support, it was really the key to– otherwise I would have, probably would have been hiding somewhere.”

There’s been of course a lot of criticism of his sporting integrity. He says “the harder you work the better you’ll do”. He feels like he’s always been one of the fairest drivers on the track (look I agree now but at the time, not so much...). The journalist asks if he still enjoys being an F1 driver, because he’s seen him around the paddock and he doesn’t seem as excited as he used to.

He answers no. (I didn’t see that coming). He says he loves driving the car, he loves his job, but when you’re surrounded by politics when you just wanna have fun and entertain and win and race your heart out it’s tough. Everyone has to have an opinion about it.

The journalist brings up the fact that his commitment has also been questioned, apparently he’s said some stuff about it. He says he’s committed to the sport and the team, he loves his team. He’s happy with where he is and has no desire to move anywhere else. However he wasn’t too sure at the time he said what he said whether he would be there for the next 5 years. The journalist asks what made him doubt it. He answers you never know what happens, does he wanna be in the limelight, etc. (Being famous is clearly hard on him.) But it’s the price to pay so he does it. He affirms now he’s definitely made his decision to stay, even with all the bad stuff that comes with it, because of his fans. He says whatever happens, he’ll go out there and give it 110%, always.

Racist Eric Clapton is on the grid again. Anyway.

It’s very very hot. Ecclestone is wearing a red jacket for some sponsor and Martin Brundle is making fun of him : “we gotta ask him about that ridiculous jacket, haven’t we? ...But you know what, I’m too embarrassed for him, I’m not gonna ask him about that.”

Formation lap.

And they’re racing!

Fantastic start from Lewis! He jumps to third place after the first corner.

He even got to 2nd place but ran wide and the Toyota got it back. He’s under pressure. I’m not too sure he’ll be able to keep the spot. Loads of contact in the midfield. Ah yep. Button got him, he’s now 4th.

10 laps in. Glock - Trulli - Jenson - Lewis - Seb. Seb is struggling and Barrichello is closing in on him. Glock pits from the lead, that’s very early. Trulli also pits. Everyone started on the supersofts but the tyres aren’t doing too well. Lewis also pits then, but stays on supersofts and is now 7th, ahead of Glock though.

Almost 20 laps in, Seb is in, he didn’t pull enough of a gap though and ends up behind Trulli. So it’s Button - Trulli - Seb - Lewis - Barrichello. It’s still very close.

20 laps left now. Seb back in the lead, then Button, Raikkonen, Trulli, Barrichello, Lewis is 6th from Nico after his second pitstop. Seb pits again and is 3rd, but Raikkonen has to stop again.

10 laps to go, Button in the lead, Seb, Trulli, Lewis is 4th.

And it’s the end of the race!

Order unchanged. 4th is very encouraging given the car.

He says he’s delighted with 4th, happy about his start but it was very hard to keep up with the others (“Vettel was so fast!”). They have a lot more work to do but it’s good points for the team.

The journalist asks what he’s learned about the car that he didn’t know so far, given the first races of the season weren’t really normal conditions.

He chuckles : “Not much!”

[fandomlit]

gif cred belongs to @peterbparkers​

requested by anon “Ummm could I get a five x fem!reader where they first meet in the commission and five falls for the reader hard but she’s trying to focus on work (while also being head over heels) thank you 🥺”

a/n im still open for requests y’all!! sorry i’ve been a little slow lately, ya girl’s going back to school on wednesday and she’s been stressin ab her summer assignments, wish me luck

imagine five hargreeves falling for you in the commission

“hey, y/n.” you looked up as lila walked into your office, giving you a smile. “how’s the new office doing?”

“a lot better than the burnt up one,” you assured, offering her a small laugh. she giggled. 

“well, if you need anything, you know where to find me,” she nodded, beginning to step out.

“wait, i do have a question,” you stopped her. she gave you a curious look before stepping back in, coming closer to your desk. “behind you, third desk in the second row.” lila immediately looked back before you could warn her to be discreet. she met eyes with five, who immediately cleared his throat and returned to his work. “who’s that?”

“are you interested in five?” she teased. your eyes immediately widened.

“that’s five hargreeves?” you whispered frantically. “holy shit, im five hargreeves’s supervisor?!”

“he’s cute, isn’t he?” she continued to tease. you blushed. but before you could retort, she turned to the assassin again. your heart stopped when she called, “hey, five? come here.” the man in question stood and walked over to the doorway. lila gave you a knowing smile as she turned to you. “five, this is your new supervisor, y/n l/n.” you gave five a smile. “i think you’ll find that she’s a perfectly pleasant person and supervisor. and single-”

“lila,” you cut. she gave you a smirk. you looked over at five. “it’s lovely to meet you, hargreeves.”

“you, too,” five said, approaching your desk and offering you his hand. you shook it with a nod. “are you new to the commission?”

“oh, no,” you chuckled. “i was transferred to this branch after your former supervisor.. we’ll say, stepped out of line.” five nodded. 

“i didn’t pay much attention to him,” five shrugged. “he wasn’t as attention grabbing as you.” you couldn’t help but smile. neither of you noticed lila slip out of the room as you continued your conversation.