#also also ive decided i dont want to do full pieces anymore im tired just take the shitty sketches taKE IT

[softrenjunnie]

“we can’t do this” kisses

pairing: slytherin!chenle x gryffindor!reader

genre: fluff, slight angst?? idk tbh, harry potter!au

warnings: none, maybe a swearword somewhere

wordcount: 1.6k

message: thank you for all of the love on my “collection” posts, aswell as everything else i’ve posted. i really really appreciate it and it means a lot to me. i honestly dont know about this one, i had a good thought but then... idk what the end is. anywayssss i hope you enjoy? feedback is always gladly accepted but pls be easy on me about this one lmao :// also you dont even wanna know how many times i typen cnehle instead of chenle, ive seen that video too many times.... second also; sorry for being so slow w my updates, ive been having less time and inspiration to write recently... :( third also: not spellchecked aaaah gonna try to do that tomorrow but im too tired rn :/

21 kisses masterlist l Full masterlist

Many months had passed since you last spoke to Chenle. Heck, if it hadn’t been for the fact that you were seated next to him in muggle studies (because the seats were fixed and you had decided on the first day of classes that you wanted to sit together), you wouldn’t even have been near him. 

You’re a Gryffindor, Chenle is a Slytherin. Your mother is an auror and your father works for the Minister for Magic, while both Chenle’s parents were known death eaters. Or, well, they weren’t known when you started dating him, and if they had been back then you wouldn’t have gotten yourself involved with him.

Your parents had met Chenle several times, and they were always supportive of your relationship. But you wished you could say that they had been equally as supportive after it was discovered that his parents were death eaters. Your mother had sent you a letter the day they found out, and when you didn’t respond, your father traveled all the way to Hogwarts to talk to you in person and ban you from ever speaking to Chenle again, by threatening to take you out of hogwarts if you didn’t follow his orders. They had even made sure your friends and most of your teachers knew you weren’t supposed to meet him, so they would drag you away from him if you even as much as tried to talk to him.

But that didn’t mean that you weren’t looking at him. Or talking about him. Or thinking about him. That didn’t mean that you didn’t know exactly where he was at 99% of the time or that you didn’t know what was happening in his life. And it most certainly didn’t mean that you didn’t love him. Because you did. You couldn’t just shut off your feelings, no matter what your parents wanted.

Many parents had sent in threatening letters to the headmaster, telling him to expel Chenle because his behavior could inspire other students to learn about dark magic. But the headmaster always responded by saying that there would be no punishment for anyone based on what their parents had done, because children don’t necessarily take after their parents. And you were so thankful for that - because he was completely right. Chenle was not at all like that. He had been distancing himself from his parents as much as he could since the moment he found out about them over seven years ago; he’d even left them to live with his grandmother instead. You just wished your parents understood that. 

You often found yourself looking down the hallway in the dungeon when you had finished potions class, hoping to see Chenle strutting to or from his common room with his friends. Or thinking of him when his favorite dish was sitting right in front of you at dinner, making you throw a glance over at his usual spot by the slytherin table to make sure he was digging into it as usual. 

Except, one day, he wasn’t at dinner. You didn’t stop looking when you couln’t see him in his usual seat; you searched the entire slytherin table from your place across the room with your eyes, in case he’d decided to get a new seat; and then you searched the rest of the great hall in case he was talking to a teacher or someone from another house. But there was no Chenle. You thought it was very strange, as he never missed a meal - so you excused yourself from your seat and instead walked over to the slytherin table. By the end of it sat the people who you recognized as Chenle’s best friends, Renjun and Jisung, two full blood slytherins whose parents were speculated to be working with Chenle’s. They didn’t look too happy to see you.

“What are you doing here?” Jisung sneered at you once you came close enough to hear.

“I’m just wondering if you know where Chenle is,” you said, voice much calmer than the one that spoke before you.

“Why do you care,” Renjun spat right after swallowing down a piece of chicken. “You’ve made it pretty clear you don’t want anything to do with him anymore.”

“Oh, and you are mad about that?” Even though you had tried to remain calm, you could feel the anger boiling inside of you.

“Yes, Chenle is-“

He had barely just started talking when you cut him off. “You think you’re mad? There are people who are suffering way more from this than you, you idiot. Try to get that thought through your small brain. Maybe the person who’s been ignored, or maybe the person who’s going to be kicked out of hogwarts if she is seen speaking to Chenle.” You hadn’t been able to hold back - but it felt good. When you were done with your mini-rant, you straightened your posture again and looked at the boys with calmer eyes. They seemed surprised, and possibly a bit scared, and Jisung had dropped his fork from his mouth to his plate with a loud thud when you started. “So, I would really appreciate it if you could tell me where Chenle is at.”

Even though they were frightened of what Chenle had threatened them with doing if they spoke about his whereabouts, they told you about how Chenle had said that he wasn’t feeling like having lunch and was probably sitting in the library to study for his exam the next day. Forgetting all about your friends back at your table (and the risk of them seeing you by the slytherin table and connecting the dots), you hurried out of the great hall and made your way down the hallway towards the library.

Your mind was blank, you didn’t know at all what to say to Chenle if you even found him. Yet there was something telling you to go; something inside of you forcing you find him. He had his favorite spot in the library, by one of the windows deep inside, so when you finally made it into the library, you knew exactly where to look. And sure enough, staring into his history of magic book, he sat by the same table as he always did. He hadn’t heard you as your last few steps had been soft, so you faked a quiet cough to get his attention. 

“What are you doing here?”

You sighed at the tone in his voice - you had been a bit surprised before you reminded yourself that you shouldn’t have expected anything. Instead of answering his question, you asked him one. “Why weren’t you at dinner?”

He put his book down and stood up, frowning at you. “Did you seriously come here just to ask me why I didn’t have dinner?”

You shrugged and looked down at your feet, suddenly feeling shy. “Yeah,” you mumbled.

“Okay, so,” he started, pacing slowly towards you. “you don’t speak to me for weeks, maybe even months, and then you come all the way to the library to ask why I didn’t have dinner?” You looked up from the ground to see him staring right into your eyes. “Not really that believeable.”

You didn’t know what to say. The day you had been banned from speaking to him, you had walked straight up to him to tell him that you wanted to break up with him. That’s it. No explanation, not giving him any chance to talk to you. And you hated it, but you weren’t sure how to make it better.

“Shit, Chenle, I’m sorry. I really am,” you sighed, holding back the tears that were threatening to fall from your eyes at any moment now from seeing how angry he was. He had never before looked at you with such flames in his eyes as he was right now. “I... I don’t know what to do to make you understand-“

He cut you off, his tone piercingly sharp. “Just tell me. Tell me the truth.” You blinked a couple of times, hoping that it would help push the water in your eyes back. “Is it because of my parents that you act like I suddenly don’t exist?”

“Yes but-“

And again, he didn’t let you speak. “I though you knew me. I thought you saw me for who I am, not for who my parents are.”

You couldn’t hold back. You stepped towards him, cupping his face in your hands and scanned his eyes for any sign of doubt (except for his continuedly frowned eyebrows). It was like a magnetic force pulled you to him, that pulled your mouth to his. You could instantly feel how much you’d missed this feeling, even though it was barely just a brush. 

Chenle pulled away almost the exact moment you’d launched forward, and though his expression was hard to read, it told you that he wasn’t angry at you. He let out a shaky breath, as he dropped his head to let his forehead rest on your shoulder. “We can’t do this...” he mumbled, his arms snaking around your lower back to hold you close. 

You held him around his shoulders, leaning your head on top of yours. “I’m so sorry, Chenle. I’m going to find a way to fix this,” you mumbled. “My parents... they made sure I didn’t talk to you. I’ll do something to make this right.” 

“But before that, can you just hold me?” 

You might have ignored him for such a long time, but that didn’t mean that you had stopped loving him. Nor that you weren’t ready to fight for your relationship. 

[hyunbaes]

11:11 • bjy

genre: song au, angst/fluff

summary: lingering around the coffee shop brought you back 5 steps from where you were.

requested: no

- listen to 11:11 by taeyeon

It’s 11:11

When there’s not much time left to the day

When we used to make wishes and laugh

Everything reminds me of you

it was currently 11:11pm and New Year’s Eve night and here you are, at the same place where your heart was handed back to you in two pieces instead of being at home, where you could be with your family. how could you keep on doing this to yourself? he said he didn’t love you, but why was it so hard to believe him? you ponder over why you couldn’t accept that this was the end of you both. you keep coming back to where you were last happiest. it was here, at this stupid coffee shop where he was last with you. how miss his voice, his touch, his sweet laughter, his small face with its defined facial features. you just missed him. jinyoung left you almost a year ago because through out the time you’d spent together, his heart was never fully yours. it’s been so long, you’ve learned to not cry when someone mentions his name or asks you how he’s doing. to tell you the truth, you aren’t sure of how he’s doing either. he broke all contact with you the moment he left. you just wanted him to hug you, and tell you that you’d be alright.

you think back to when you first started dating him .. how simple times used to be. he wasn’t like everyone else. he cared so much more than you thought. you missed him telling you that he’ll be the first one there if you ever needed him. you missed the forehead kisses he’d give you when it just wasn’t your day, and how he’d pat your head telling you that you’ll be just fine because he’s by your side. you even missed hearing him talk about how he would want to be an idol, despite the fact that the idea always scared you. jinyoung was never one to open up much when your first met him. which is why it still shocks you at how emotionally caring this boy is, and how much he would worry over you or himself. you looked out the window hoping that in some alternative world, he missed you in this way too.

The wind is as cold as the edge of your heart

When I open the window, you blow in

When this time passes

Will this break up be over?

Will I forget you?

you decided it was time to leave before the cafe reeked of your despair. there was only an hour left before the new year after all, so it was best to go home before the city became hectic. the moment you left, the cold air hit your face & you wanted to run back in, but decided it was better to head home. this was the calmest thing you had ever done even though the city was still so alive. people were out with their families, couples had been enjoying their moments together. even those who were homeless had found some way to make the most of this; why couldn’t this be you? why was jinyoung all you could ever think about? he left for a reason y/n, get it through your head. all these thoughts had kept you so occupied that you didn’t notice the tall figure you ran into. you mumbled a sorry before looking up. the chances of finding him here in the city. there was jinyoung right in front of you. just like you had wanted him to be. but why does this feel so wrong?

your eyes widened before completely noticing he was giving the same look. and then he spoke "y/n?" your heart melted at hearing your name again. you’re not supposed to feel this way over him. you contemplated on whether to even answer him, you’re afraid that you would let everything go & finally blame him for causing you so much grief. you tried so hard to walk away from him, but it’s been a year. getting over it, you decided you’d talk to him. "hi jinyoung, how are you these days?” you asked looking at anywhere but his eyes. his eyes were also so pretty and lively; now they seem heavy and tired. "im doing okay" was all he could say. mustering up the courage to look at him, you saw he was alone. you wondered where the girl he left you for was; she was no where in sight. she was pretty and it always left you wondering why she was better. why she let him cause you so much pain. did she know about you? she had to.

Everything finds its place and leaves

You took all of me and left

But like the two hands of the clock in my heart

I keep lingering in the same place

"y/n? how have you been?" terrible since you left was all you could think. "ive been better" you lied to him; he was only asking to be nice after all. "no you haven’t because neither have i" he said while grabbing your hand, causing you to look up at him. you wish you could’ve retracted your hand away from him, but god did this feel nice. "jinyoung .. please" you felt your eyes tearing and the ground suddenly looked so much better. "y/n, i miss you so much. i know i left, but that was biggest mistake ever. i was fine for a while, you know? but then, jihoon (FYI: this was before becoming an idol but he knows jihoon through you and all 3 of you were best friends) told me how you had been acting, and it started to scare me. he told me you stopped eating? and that you would never go out anymore. my heart broke knowing I hurt you that much. but im not back here out of pity. im here because i need you back, whether you’ll have me is up to you." you tears began flowing the moment he said he missed you. your rock, the love of your life, your first love had said he missed you. he lifted your head up, he never like it when you cried. "y/n? please don’t cry" he said as he wiped your tears. he carressed your cheek but you wanted nothing more than to scream at him. you missed him but you were so angry at him for coming back like this. "jinyoung? do you understand the situation you put me in? i know that i am not over you but do you know how messed up it is? for you to come back like this? im so angry that you even left me in the first place. but how were we to know that we’d end up in front of each other after a year of being apart?" you checked the clock, 11:40. 20 minutes till the new year and you won’t be home to celebrate but fighting with jinyoung in the middle of the street.

"y/n, im so sorry. i know i messed up but i was a mess without you. she never made me feel like you do. i couldn’t even say i loved her. when I was with her, i thought of you. of all things, you" he said, his voice full of regret, the regret of leaving you after being with you for so long. your heart still longed for him, you still loved him. it was always going to be him, no matter what. "jinyoung, be honest with me, do you still love me?" you questioned him, almost scared of what he would say. "y/n, i don’t think i ever stopped. all this waiting by our coffee shop finally brought you back to me and it’s all I ever wanted." jinyoung said as you looked into his eyes. you saw the love that you had been missing. you heart was swelling back to life. forgiving was always your weakness, especially when it came to jinyoung. he took your hand again, "y/n, can i ask you the same thing?" you knew your answer. saying it would only confirm that you still loved him but, actions speak louder than words. all of a sudden you heard numbers being chanted around you, "10, 9, 8," had the time gone by so quickly? it looks like you’ll ring in the new year with him by your side again. "7, 6, 5" you are devising a plan in the 7 seconds you have left. "4, 3, 2" "y/n?" jinyoung called your name confused as to why you weren’t answering him. "1!" you wrapped your arms around his neck and got on your tip-toes to press your lips against his. his lips, how sweet and soft they are. you missed each other, the kiss only reassured you guys of that. you pulled away from each other, "jinyoung? i always loved you. even when you left, you were all I wanted. i wanted you back and now i have you." he hugged you as tight as he could. lingering around the coffee shop really brought him back to you with the missing pieces of you he took.

- a/n: ahh!! another jinyoung scenario is back because I can’t stay away oops!!

- also did y’all see his v live OH MY GOD HES SO CUTE AND ADORABLE WHEN HES FRUSTRATED I LOVE HIM BUT @ SWING FIX THE WIFI BAEBY JUST WANTS TO DO A LIVE A ND WHAT BAEBY WANTS BAEBY GETS SORRY I DONT MAKE THE RULES I JUST ENFORCE THEM 💖💞💝💕💗💓💘

[zappsbrannigan]

hiatus over because...

im a piece of shit who cant manage their time...or just has very bad bad bad bad luck

Just...imagine be me, ok everyone says that IS SO FUCKIN WONDERFUL HAVE A FULL TIME JOB, which im thankful but put on risk my mental health sometimes...n this fuckin week is tempting me just...throw a fuckin chair to peoples head....n then with this FUCKIN HOT WEATHER that....on my city is awful (40C° in grados centigrados on Monterrey just google it n u will see it)...so i cant go to places easily (CARS, CARS EVERYWHERE)....but the days i have for pick n go to print the stickers or just con stuff....oh wow they NEVER HAVE ELECTRICITY n always when i go (is like the third time i go n nothing....) n is the only place i know....n im so sorry but....while im at job i will send to someone who usually drives me to places....but at same im so ashamed for ask for help because comments on my damn n ugly art....

also....ugh....seriously, when i come back at home just i want to sleep because im so tired (physically and mentally cus my.........stupid spring break starts ON JULY 18TH and the thing im gettin ready is for the 14th idk i dont even remember anymore

i wanted to make n have everything before the 30th because this piece of shit aka me....wants to do something especial for that day...which is the only thing ive been makin progress but seriously a part of me is like “isnt nothing...what about everything else??? you suck” 

i dont know how to be able to manage....jobs stuff (pappers n more stuff like a presentation for the next week n i havent done anything yet....plus the usual bullshit....which this week is everyone decided to be a dick with me) n also do con stuff??????? im so stressed n seriously this weather isnt working at all

and im sorry if doesnt seem like the end of the world just...just sucks....im so tired, im almost on my limit..i want to cry...im gonna...take a risk n send someone for print my con stuff (which i dont want i feel is somewhat personal) also i dont want to see that girl’s face on the store because i feel i answered like a jerk (which im sorry i wasnt agresive neither dont worry)....-sighs- so...yeah....if im able to do it....the whole weekend im gonna do that cutting work..........but................agh.....why i decided to seem responsible n be “im on hiatus” this is also stressing me

seriously....i may seem happy with the whole “aw i saw something about my fav character” but inside or....well irl things arent goin that well

im so dissapointed of myself, why am i like this sobs

(and ok...i will end deleting this soon but...fuck my haitus....if people see me online ok if they dont well just dont miss me, shit happens)