#also chaos tiefling remus was really funny

[just-call-me-the-intrusive-thot]

Soulmate September - Day 8

Day 8 - The temperature of your chest gets hotter when you are closer to your soulmate and colder when you move further away. (D&D AU)

Pairing(s): Romantic Roceit, Romantic Background Analogical

TWs: Swearing

–

“Oh I adore being made out to be the bad guy here.”

“You robbed the lair of the Dragon Witch! It’s literally your fault that we are mired in this bog of despair!”

Roman’s accusation rang loudly within the wagon as they made the long ride back to Amoresse to rest for the night. Janus rolled his serpentine eyes, 

“You, dear delusional knight, are totally not the one who went and killed said Dragon Witch, thus leaving her treasure for the taking.”, the half Yuan-Ti hissed, appropriately, “Besides, you can absolutely take the moral high ground here when you stole her crown at the first opportunity.”

The pristine elven knight gasped dramatically, clutching his figurative pearls at such an accusation! 

“This is an outrage-!”

“Both of you shut the fuck up or I’m driving this wagon off the nearest goddamn cliff!!”

Roman and Janus both immediately quietened down at the threat issued so casually by their wagon driver as the dhampir hissed curses under his breath. The two in the back glared at each other back and forth, avoiding looking towards the wrecked fabric of the canopy and the splintered wood. In Roman’s defense, he hadn’t known that grabbing the crown specifically would cause the Dragon Witch’s castle to fall to ruin around them. He’d realised his mistake almost immediately when he felt the dark magic radiating off of it. However, he couldn’t bring himself to admit that was the case. Especially not around Janus, the damn snake wouldn’t let him live it down. 

Being careful to pick his moment, Roman hazarded a glance over at the reptilian rapscallion eyeing up his spoils; Janus was an enigmatic entity to Roman, showing such sophistication and poise while also being prone to stumbling over his words or his own two feet in the same breath. Unabashedly, he displayed selfishness unrivalled by even the most aristocratic nobility, but in a pinch, was fully able to toss aside even the most valuable of artifacts to save a life. 

Roman had tried not to think about it. The noble and chivalrous knight, Roman of Sandaria, being saved from the jaws of death by a conman who, by all accounts, he had fully expected to leave him to die. The elven man wasn’t sure where his resentment lay; perhaps Roman thought he should’ve been able to save himself, perhaps he felt guilty for misjudging Janus but couldn’t find it in him to admit it, or perhaps it was an underlying prejudice from his training days. Yeah, he really  didn’t want to think about it.

Instead, Roman made his way to sit up front next to the moody wagon driver, making light conversation,

“I should be the one manning the wagon, your highness.”

“Roman, I’ve told you before, you can just call me by my name.”, the dhampir met Roman with piercing silver eyes, “Now, tell me what’s wrong.”

“I don’t understand my- Virgil,”, he corrected at the last second, “Nothing’s wrong. Aside from the fact you refuse to allow me to call you by your title-”

“That’s horseshit and you know it, Roman.”, Virgil kept his eyes on the road, anxious over the possibility of a crash if he kept his gaze averted too long, “I’ve known you since we were kids, I can tell when you’re lying. Besides, being called ‘your highness’ feels wrong as it is. Coming from you? It’s even fucking weirder than this whole marrying into royalty thing...”

Roman rolled his eyes but sat closer to offer Virgil a one-armed hug. The latter gave it a moment before accepting the gesture, “Virgil, you’ll be fine. If any one of us was suited to princedom, I cannot think of a better candidate. And your future husband is unreasonably attractive, so I don’t see what you have to complain about-”

“Oh my god, shut UP!”, Virgil chuckled and shoved Roman playfully. “I mean, you’re not wrong but the last thing I need is to think too hard about Logan and crash this stupid fucking shambles of a wagon!” 

The lighthearted banter did wonders to distract Roman until Virgil managed to get things back on track unfortunately, “Now, stop deflecting and tell me what’s got you so gloomy, Sir-Sing-A-Lot.”

Roman rolled his eyes at the old nickname, “I’m fine, Virge, really. I merely wish our cascading castle adventure had been a little less…ruinous.”

“.... Was that a fucking pun-”

“Ahem.”, Janus cleared his throat from behind the two of them, “I do so loathe to interrupt.... whatever this is,”, he gestured between the two of them, “But I believe that’s our stop up ahead. Wouldn’t want to go destroying that as well.”

With that, the serpentine rogue slunk back into the wagon. Roman muttered something under his breath, inaudible to Virgil, before reluctantly joining the scaled nuisance bagging up his wares. The elven knight made sure to keep his crown tucked into his rucksack, just in case thievery was something to be wary of in Amoresse. The town’s reputation, however, gave Roman hope that their visit would prove more helpful than hindering; the rumours told of a town renowned for helping wayward, lonely souls find their soulmates. As a single, disaster gay, Roman sure hoped the rumours were true. Truly he could think of nothing sadder than turning up alone to his best friend’s wedding.

Getting booked into their rooms at the tavern was a far easier ordeal than having to endure the overly chaotic gate guard to the city. The bizarre tiefling had spent so long rambling on and on about the most grotesque topics that by the time they had successfully secured a wagon bay, the moon now shone in all her celestial beauty. Virgil had suggested resting for the night, and despite Roman’s urging that they stay together, Janus had been insistent on checking out the nightlife. The knight had been content to let him do so while he guarded the prince, but the tired dhampir insisted he too take the night to enjoy himself. Roman would have argued further had Virgil not issued the suggestion as an order after his first protest.

And that was how Roman found himself sitting at a small outdoor bar tended by a rather friendly dwarf. Said dwarf, Patton as he came to learn, was quite the chatterbox while Roman was content to take in the night air in spite of his earlier worries. 

“Say kiddo,”, the dwarf broke from his pleasant rambling, “you’re looking a little lonely there. You got something on your mind?”

Roman hadn’t expected that. He pursed his lips in thought. 

“I suppose I may as well be honest with you. I’ve been wondering if-”

“If the rumours are true?”, Patton finished, “Well, luckily for you, they are!”

He ducked down behind the counter and pulled up an ornate crystal bottle that contained a marvellous prismatic liquid inside. Roman watched with great interest as the dwarf pulled out a goblet and began to mix a sweet, fruity smelling drink before dropping in three drops of the colourful elixir.

“Anima Venenum”, Patton informed him, “Our town’s alchemist created it by accident a couple of centuries back, and ever since, we offer some to tourists who look like they need a little guidance in the ol’ world of love!”

Roman was mesmerised, “Really? You mean, I needn’t pay you for it?”

“Nope! Our only rule is to never hand it out to anyone who doesn’t ask us for it. It’s up to you if you wanna accept this, so no pressure. I just figured you looked like you might be in need of it.”

The knight had so many questions swirling around in his brain, but by the time he had settled on a single one, his hand was holding the goblet to his lips. The taste was citrusy like sweet clementines, but with a mixed berry and almost floral taste that reminded him of a rose wine. As the last of it slid down his throat, Roman noted a soft honey-like taste as he thanked Patton, 

“That tastes wonderful! I’ve never had an elixir that tasted so good.”

Patton chuckled, “Actually, the elixir itself is tasteless. People just take better to it when it's mixed with a good drink, otherwise the texture weirds ‘em out.”

“Ah, I see.”, Roman let out a gentle chuckle. He didn’t feel all that different, truth be told, and so he asked, “How will I know it’s working?”

“The effects are instantaneous, don’t you worry! It might be hard to notice at first, but when you’re near your soulmate, your heart will feel really warm- In a good way! Not like heartburn, so don’t worry about it feeling unpleasant.”, Patton assured him.

Roman nodded, making a note of it as he got up to leave before quickly asking, “Oh! How long will it last?”

Patton waved him off, assuring him, “It’ll last for as long as you need to find your soulmate, guaranteed!”

With the night reaching its peak, Roman found himself strolling along the cobbled streets back to the tavern when he felt it; a flicker of warmth in his heart. Soft as the beating of a butterfly’s wing but very much there. He followed the feeling until he came upon a narrow street, hardly lit by the lamps stationed at it’s opening. The street itself was largely empty bar a silhouette in the dark leaning against the stone bridge that arched over the shimmering water running beneath it. 

His heart raced as Roman approached the figure, the flames licking at his heart until he arrived about a foot from the entrance of the bridge. The figure turned to Roman, smirking a familiar smirk,

“Come to join me, oh loyal guardian of our beloved prince?”

Janus. His soulmate was Janus?! Roman couldn’t believe it, yet no matter how thoroughly he scanned the immediate area, not a single other soul revealed itself. The half Yuan-Ti raised a bemused eyebrow at Roman, “Please, do keep ignoring my question so you may continue to look like a fool.”

Roman scowled. Maybe the kindly dwarf was just teasing him? No, he didn’t seem the type. But this conman? His soulmate? Perhaps Roman would indulge it, see where that led him. Worth a shot anyway. 

“My apologies.”, was all Roman offered as he took a spot on the bridge next to Janus, the flames of his heart undeniably soaring to life at the close proximity. Janus gave Roman a puzzled glance which let Roman take in his features; a half scaled face and body that, the more he watched the moonlight dance along the scales, made Roman want to gently reach out and touch them. In fact, he had subconsciously been doing just that when Janus had held his wrist in place, “It’s not completely rude to just touch someone’s scales without permission. What’s gotten into that underbaked brain of yours, Roman?”

Flustered and embarrassed by his lack of tact, Roman uttered quietly, “Soulmate cocktail.”

“Pardon?”

Roman panicked, “So many cocktails. Is what I said. Like, 14 whole cocktails.” 

Great. Excellent save.

“..... You’re expecting me to believe that? Did you forget that I’m rather adept at being able to tell when someone’s lying to my face, Roman?”

End him. Just end him now. Roman wished a stray lightning bolt would smite him where he stood so he wouldn’t have to face his own stupidity. Quick, say something to help ease the situation.

“Okay. I had 16 cocktails.”, he stammered with a laugh, “I’m absolutely drunk. You got me, you clever reptile you!”

Roman of Sandaria you are a certified idiot. 

“.... Alright then. Prove it.”, Janus goaded him, locking onto Roman’s crimson eyes with his own citrine snake-like eyes. 

“Prove-?”

“Let me smell your breath.”, Janus clarified, getting closer. Each inch set Roman’s heart aflame all too literally. “If you’re as inebriated as you claim to be, your breath will absolutely stink.”

Shit.

“Uuuh, personal space-”, Roman began to move back, but Janus grasped the front of his tunic.

“Don’t give me that, Mister Personal-Space-Is-A-Societal-Construct, I’ve seen how often you get in your dear prince’s personal space...”, Roman could’ve sworn for a split second that Janus sounded resentful, or perhaps envious, before his tone took a more curious route, “... or perhaps could there be another reason you don’t want to be so close to me?”

The knight became aware of the burning within his chest threatening to rage out of control, the distance between them barely a couple of inches now. Roman wasn’t sure what to do, but the lure of Janus’ eyes and the way his ribcage radiated with a heat he’d never felt before spurred him to act; he leant forward and pressed his lips to the serpentine man before him.

It surprised Roman just how pleasant it felt, though he prepared himself for harsh retaliation from the half Yuan-Ti when he felt Janus take in a breath against his lips. However, Roman was pleasantly surprised to find that Janus, not only didn’t issue him a well-earned slap and spend the rest of the night cussing him out, but instead kissed him back even harder. Not that Roman was complaining. By the time they pulled back for air, Roman didn’t even notice the fire in his heart subsiding to be replaced with a more natural warmth as Janus’ hands softly caressed Roman’s cheeks. “I’ll be the first to admit, I totally saw the night heading that direction.”, Janus mused in surprise.

Roman let out a hearty chuckle, hardly even noticing that he’d subconsciously wrapped his arms around Janus.

“Care to tell me what brought this on, Roman of Sandaria?”

Just hearing his name spoken in such an enticing dulcet made his knees feel weak; how had Roman never noticed how beautiful Janus’ voice was? His mind was too busy latching onto every octave, every syllable, that he nearly forgot to answer him. He took Janus’ scaled hand and pressed his lips to it in a gentle gesture his soulmate clearly wasn’t used to if the flustered way he averted his eyes was anything to go by,

“I suppose you could say I did a little soul searching.”

----

Have some straight up Roceit fluff, this came out so cute.

@tsshipmonth2020

Taglist: @somehow-i-got-an-account @cateye-glasses @lavender-mochi [I know you love your Roceit so I figured I’d tag you incase you needed this] @fandomsofrandom [I nearly missed the reblog where you asked to be added I’m so sorry]

[ketchup-monthly]

Sanders Sides D&D 1

imagine virgil just cursing janus while out of combat, and theres one time where they end up going into a combat scenario while hes still cursed

but the thing with the curse is that if the creature dies while cursed, the warlock gains temporary hit points

so if cursed janus were to die, virgil would gain temp hp

Patton: omg, we need to save Janus Virgil, who cursed him yesterday: how about we let him die, then resurrect him later, yeah?

(roman and remus) lol they would totally just run into each other and instantly just hate

everyone else (except maybe patton) would figure out that theyre brothers but they would just deny it until their father (who maybe they were looking for) spelled it out for them

concept: they're an aasimar and tiefling both on a quest to find their long lost brother, but their both expecting their sibling to be the same race as them. they don't get along for both personality reasons and because, you know, aasimar and tiefling, but they're both in the party anyway

I just realized that as a changeling Janus can just change his height at will

Like to make a point to the twins when theyre acting up, he can change to be like 7 foot (still a medium creature tho)

But like. Subtly adjusting his height so much that no one notices until hes suddenly as tall as patton

"Im a growing boy" (true but also false)

tricking people by slowly growing/shrinking on them but trying to convince them it's the other way around

"dude, weren't you shorter a few minutes ago?" "i have absolutely no idea what you're talking about. are you feeling alright?"

"Youre getting taller" "No youre just getting shorter"

he gets like a full six inches on whoever he's pranking before they start really panicking

Except Virgil, who panics immediately

virgil also really notices bc in normal form, janus is only an inch shorter than him

despite being smart, Logan usually doesnt notice at all until Janus has gotten at least 4 inches taller, and then he knows whats going on

Virgil, realizing his sight line for Janus is slightly off: narrows eyes

roman takes a while to notice and he panics as well. remus thinks its hilarious. patton notices once Janus is taller than him (after 4 or 5 inches)

oh! because of the type of tiefling he is, Remus knows the vicious mockery cantrip

the thing is though, he would end up using it on the rest of his party too (everyone takes psychic damage on a failed wis save)

he would purposefully use it on his party members

as if he were a bard. he would try to inspire them but would instead harm them

remus is a barbarian who thinks himself a bard

he is a harbinger of chaos, we stan

he'd make your dad jokes at roman lmaoooo

not knowing hes talking shit about his own dad

he'd keep making them after they find out their siblings, probably tho

Roman: we have the same dad! Remus: >:)

im thinking about making romans name actually romulus but he goes by roman

bc romulus and remus

and bc roman seems to tame for a noble

okay so their dad is named Mars or some derivative of Mars, and their moms are Rhea and Silvia. Remus was in part raised by a beasthide shifter (the wolf kind) named Lupe (bc i need feral child remus)

probably romans mom was an aasimar and remus's mom was a tiefling (and while their dad was human, they ended up being an aasimar and a tiefling, respectively, bc dominant genes)

also the boys have inverted hair and eye colors

remus has dark hair with a white streak and red eyes, roman has white hair with smaller dark streaks all around and green eyes

as a drow, Virgil has light purple skin, white and purple hair, and eyes that have black instead of white and purple irises

Remus: hey, man, i need a heal Roman: no. go bother Patton Remus: Pat's out of heals Roman: Remus: dude, pls Roman: you are covered in muck and i don't even like you. no. no way Remus: Roman: Remus: please, brother Roman: ..........fine

roman heals him for 1hp

Roman: take a nap

what would be funny is if remus called roman his brother long before they knew they had the same dad but he did it to annoy him bc he knew roman hated it when he did it

Remus: hello, brother Roman: we're not brothers Remus: we're brothers-in-arms, aren't we? Roman: that's not the same! Remus: eh, close enough

Roman at Remus is the line from trail to oregon thats like "why am i even trying to help you, i hate you"

roman also just straight up refuses to heal janus, even when pat is out of spell slots

yeeee i have Patton as a druid but its just because i want his wild shape to be a giant frog (also druids are healers and have access to both cure wounds and healing word)

well in the first one, roman and remus are looking for their dad/the brother their mothers said they have

janus wanted to fuck shit up (not really, he was bored and annoying virgil is fun. and remus needed a babysitter)

(logan maybe knew roman previously and was sent as his babysitter)

romans got no brain cells. hes a noble on a quest. of course someone smart would be sent to keep him from dying

logan might work with Jan

(Bro, big dramatic reveal x chapters in, Jan knew Remus and romans father)

janus (handshake emoji) logan tired of keeping the twins from dying

i was thinking he was chosen by romans mom originally as like a "logan you are the only smart one please keep him from doing something stupid"

as a courtier, Janus would have known Roman and by extension Logan

so if hes really the one orchestrating the reason the main party got together, then (eyes)

virgil was a street rat, thats his background, so he likely knew at least of roman, janus, and logan. pat and remus are both wanderers of sorts, so that may be Pats connection to the main 4

okay but i had remus as an outlander, so like. maybe he was but then his mom took him away?

i had him as like a wild man child whose mom was like "hey you have a brother" and remus was like "sweet imma find him"

they were completely separate. romans mom was the daughter of a noble, so he was raised as a noble. remus's mom was either the daughter of a tribal chief or the chief herself, so he was raised like that. they had no idea that they had a brother. the moms likely knew, or they were told somehow by the dad, but they were completely separate

Mom: remus you have a half brother Remus: okay Mom: thats it? you're not shocked? Remus: mom do you think he'd like my bug collection?

(the answer is no, Roman does not like the bug collection)

Patton also does not like the bug collection

virgil and logan love it, and janus is used to it

so changeling janus, right? if he orchestrated it all, then he could have been in different forms in the court and in the tribal village

so like he knew basically everyone (but Pat, who Remus met and then kept)

Remus, to patton: I like your funny words, magic man

Remus, upon meeting Pat: so you like frogs Patton: ....yes? Remus: cool i like them too. they taste slimy. Patton: ??????? Remus: Patton: are you okay? Remus: nope! Patton: ....okay... Remus: wanna see my bug collection?

Remus, setting himself on fire: ahhahaaha nothing can hurt me Janus, quick to douse him in water: resistance is not the same as immunity!!!