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#also david pls shut up i am only so strong ;____;
tehtariks · 2 years
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the red floral robe (gay) | OUR FLAG MEANS DEATH
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dex-xe · 3 years
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BBC Ghosts x Eurovision
No one asked for this (and I’ve already seen a few people discussing this but haven’t seen anyone go into much detail) but here are some headcanons about the ghosts watching Eurovision 2021!! Eurovision has been one of my special interests since I was a little kid so combining it with my current special interest just seems right!!
(Also pls comment your own headcanons or even better send them to my inbox AND also send new headcanon topics for us to chat about cause I’ve missed doing that!!)
- Firstly it’s definitely Mike’s doing,, Alison jokes it’s a bit tacky and kinda cringe and Mike is *deeply* offended insisting the tack is what makes it fun.
- Alison also really enjoys it but also enjoys teasing Mike about his affinity
- Alison shows the ghosts a few YouTube clips of old years
- Kitty, Mary, and Humphrey are all well up for watching straight away,, also Pat but we’ll talk about him in a minute.
- Robin doesn’t really get the point (countries are a stupid idea according to him so having a country based competition where people actually get serious about it is just daft).
- Thomas and Fanny both hate the clips they’re shown and call it the “lowest form of entertainment” they’ve ever seen.
- The Captain is also above it... or so he says but he finds his foot tapping along to Emmilie De Forest and is *horrified* at himself
- Julian is straight away racist,, a comment here about EU bureaucracy, another snipe there about Russia. Alison shuts his complaining down very quickly and tells him he can’t say anything he wouldn’t be happy someone saying about the UK or else his phone privileges will be taken away.
- Pat is the only ghost who has seen Eurovision before (Julian has always refused on principle).
- He used to watch it with his family and put on a proper spread for everyone (cause we all know Pat was the family cook). I’m talking mini sausage rolls, tiny sandwiches, a cheese and pineapple hedgehog (totally not what my family does for Eurovision every year... hmmm) and then also a trifle cause it’s the most English pudding ever and you gotta support the home side.
- (I’m hungry,, can you tell??)
- Once Alison has explained to them how the show works, most of them agree to watch - Thomas once he learns of the beautiful women competing and Fanny the same with the men.
- The Captain however begins taking it very seriously once he starts to realise the tactical elements of it,, while he likes the performances, he spends the entire afternoon rewatching previous years scoring segments making mental notes of what gets support and who votes for who.
- The evening comes round and everyone gathers to watch in the TV room.
- The second the flag parade starts everyone is engrossed - even Fanny can marvel at the spectacle of it.
- (I’m not gonna talk about every performance cause Jeez that’s long but here are what I think everyone’s favourites would be.
- Robin really loves Finland and Italy,, anything loud and rocky he’s straight up off the floor and jumping along (same Robin, same) but he falls completely silent and watches in awe at the Spanish entry because of the giant moon (he then also asks Alison to buy a huge moon for the living room - she’s says she’ll think about it).
- Kitty is fully rooting for Malta - Lizzo girlboss vibes is what Kitty lives for. It’s also helped that Alison expressed quite an interest for that one as well.
- Thomas is expecting to like the pretty girls but absolutely falls for Switzerland straight away. Curly haired, blouse-wearing emotional guy with incredibly dramatic dancing is just 😍😍 for him (same Thomas,, can’t decide if he’s very attractive or if it’s gender envy or what??).
- Julian supports the UK... he thinks the song is shit but cannot bring himself to compliment anyone else.
- Pat is an Iceland kind of guy (ily dadi,, you were robbed #eurovision2020winners) and he fully finds himself trying to dance along, smiling all the way through their performance. He likes the weirder ones,, the ones were everyone is clearly just having a blast.
- Humphrey likes the emotional ones,, Bulgaria is a favourite. Righttttt up until France - he picked up a little French from his wife, enough to figure out what Barbara’s talking about and is just in tears by the end.
- Mary actually finds herself enjoying the more folky, traditionally European ones. This comes back to my Morris/folk dancing Mary so I feel like she’d appreciate like Ukraine and Russia - also for the like strong woman aesthetic.
- Fanny is abhorred by the outfits and music but does join Julian in his reluctant support of the UK, she instead prefers to mutter her abuses of the skimpy outfits to the Captain.
- The Captain is also drawn in by the emotional ones like Humphrey, specifically France again. However, a shaggy and shirtless Damiano David jumping about the place in eyeliner and tight trousers awakens something in him he didn’t know was there. He’s horrified by the group and the loudness and the outfits and everything but is also very much intrigued in a way that disturbs him.
- Mike also likes Italy quite a bit cause he’s an Arctic Monkeys/Killers kinda guy (he is,, don’t @ me cause me tooooo Mike) and Alison tends to agree with him but also, like I said, agrees with Kitty on the girl power ones.
- Once the scoring starts, the ghosts start getting noisier and talking amongst themselves about the acts and who they would vote for (they’re not allowed to vote cause Alison refuses to pay for her dead housemates to get a vote each).
- The Captain edges closer to the TV as the others talk over his beloved scoring system, completed overshadowing the research the Captain has done.
- It ends with the Captain sat cross legged in front of the TV with Humphrey in his lap explaining precisely what was happening to Humphrey.
- When it gets towards the end everyone hushes up and they all watch as Italy win. Most of them celebrate.
- Fanny is greatly disturbed by the winners and laments the state of music these days. The Captain vocally agrees but also can’t draw his eyes from the screen.
- Julian has some very choice words for the public for giving the UK a big fat 0.
- Kitty says she’s just glad that everyone had a good time and enjoyed their performances. She also wishes that she could go to the show (don’t we all).
But yeah that’s my collection of headcanons for Eurovision,, once again proving I am a massive nerd who spends too much time putting together little stories.
Anyway,, if you have any more Eurovision headcanons feel free to comment them or send them to my inbox so I can reply and add to them. Similarly, if you have any other shows/music/events/literally anything that you think I should make ghosts headcanons for or that you have hcs for then send them over to my inbox as well!! Love yall stay safe, drink some water if you’ve managed to read this far :)
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paradise-creator · 3 years
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Than,, thank you?? So much for the match up?? It warms my heart bby ;-;
Anyhow, here’s my description!!
She/her, Taurus, INTJ, slytherin
Personality: the first thing people notice about me is that I am less of a feeler and more of a thinker. I do have an IQ of 125, but my emotional intelligence is quite low, so I have trouble sympathizing with others. But I learned through experience, so I don’t SEEM emotionless. I can (and will) help my friends through tough times if they need me. I’m pragmatic, so I always go for the facts instead of the feelings during decision making or tough situations. I hold a lot of perfectionist traits that make it really hard for me to be satisfied with my results if they aren’t higher than the norm. I also have a slight issue with saying no, so sometimes I’ll offer my help or enrol myself in long-term projects while knowing I legit do not have time for more stuff on my schedule. Being a bit smarter than average, I sometimes feel like I’m obligated to help others so that they can do good too (however, I do like helping people with their hw to a certain extent). I’m working on those issues though!! I’m also an introvert, and I can get rlly tired if I have to be interacting for more than four hours straight with people, especially if their persona isn’t rlly compatible with mine.
However, when I’m surrounded by friends (or generally people who aren’t my superiors), I’m very energetic, loud, silly and I have a sharp tongue. My sense of humour goes from absolute nonsense to almost mean spirited sarcasm, but it all depends on who I’m talking to. I’m a MAJOR memer, I have a bunch of files filled with them, and I couldn’t bear be with people who didn’t understand my meme references. When I start liking something, I can get easily obsessed. I’m stubborn, therefore very passionate about the things I care about. I also have a slight case of the Endorphin Junkie, meaning that I really, really like the high you get after sports so I do crossfit training like five to six times a week. I’m unapologetically myself, and I will not ever change who I am to fit within the norm. I’m sometimes told that (that I’m odd, I mean), but I usually thank the people who tell me. I have a really, really big love for music and I have a tendency to break into song sometimes when people say a line from a song I know.
Appearance: I’m around 5’6”, with hazel eyes and brown hair that goes around to my shoulders. It gets curly out of nowhere. I can either wake up with straight hair or wake up with a freakin perm, it’s funny. My body isn’t exactly the lean type, I’m somewhere around the buff area of the scale instead, but as long as I seem visibly strong, I’m satisfied. When I’m not going anywhere significant, I usually just wear sport shirts and sweats, but I have a penchant for Dark Academia so I like /looking/ like I’m smart sometimes. And I have glasses bc apparently my eyes are assholes and they work too hard and it hurts my brain all the time
Likes: music (DavidBowieDavidBowieDavidBow-); I have a really wide range of music that goes from early 2000’s pop to 1700’s requiems. I enjoy studying theoretical fields, reading, and I like talking about Absurd Theories About Reality That Make Little To No Sense. I like sports, and I love joking around with friends in the most exaggerated ways. I also love the colour green and I’m more of a cat person
Dislikes: dogs (they’re cute but keep them away pls), ignorant people, irresponsible people, spiders, things I’m not good at from the beginning, having to deal with strangers being upset, crying (me. I don’t like crying; I mean me, I’m fine if my friends cry)
Other fun facts!!
- my goals for the future are all over the place; I want to work for Disney, I want to get a musical composition degree, I want a biomedical engineering bachelors degree, I want an astrophysics doctorate, I want to study languages, I want to be a foreign English teacher... I can’t ever decide.
- I have a long history with getting crushes on guys who turned out to be gay. It happens so often and I HATE IT, it makes me feel terrible.
- I!!love!!70’s!!music!!so!!much!! I was raised on that stuff, my dad wouldn’t let us listen to anything else
- Lol my favourite playlist name is Drugs Playlist But I Don’t Even Do Drugs it’s just a bunch of Pink Floyd and David Bowie songs
- My favourite movies are 80’s or 90’s comedy classics!! Like Wayne’s World, or Airplane!, or Night at the Roxbury. I keep quoting Wayne’s World and no one understands :(
Lol it’s very long I Apologize
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ɴᴏᴡ ʟᴏᴀᴅɪɴɢ
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Hello and Welcome my Starlight!
The Haven box includes:
- Match up
- Sun drop
- Dreamscape
- Study date
───✱*.。:。✱*.:。✧*.。✰*.:。✧*.。:。*.。✱ ───
I'd match you up with
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Kuroo Tetsuro, The captain of Nekoma
───✱*.。:。✱*.:。✧*.。✰*.:。✧*.。:。*.。✱ ───
Sun drops
The reasons why I paired you
-Honestly it took me a while to think on who you would match with (You just remind me so much if my best friend that I ship with Yams-)
- I had Sugawara or Kunumi in mind but I decided that Kuroo would be a perfect match! (THAT HEIGHT DIFFERENCE THO)
- Kuroo is a very smart man and he's also very observant.
- So you might lack in the expressing emotions, Kuro's got you (He'll buy those flip plishies to know your mood or smth like that)
- And though Kuroo is the outgoing type, he will definitely respect your boundaries
- I mean Kenma is a major introvert so Kuroo will know what to do
- Not only that! Kuroo has this sense of protectiveness and motherly vibes (Canon Kuroo that is-). So he will definitely take care of you
- He has his iconic hyena laugh, Meme exchange is a must! And you both would often have laughing fits.
- Did I mention that he'll take care of you?
- He absolutely and I mean absolutely adores your passion for music like yes
-He loves your style and the two of you would often have matching couple outfits.
───✱*.。:。✱*.:。✧*.。✰*.:。✧*.。:。*.。✱ ───
Dreamscape
(A surprise drabble!)
"Out of everyone, YOU GOT A GIRL FIRST?!?" Yaku yelled as his eye twitched. "Got that right, Yakkun," Kuroo then said with a smirk. "And you are still as single as ever, docosahexaenoic acid. Still chasing after the same girl, huh?" He added as he patted the shorter male's shoulders. "And so what?!?" Yaku yelled back. "And the Demon-senpai strikes again," Kuroo stated as he backed away. "Kuroo-senpai! Can you tell us about her?" Lev asked enthusiastically. "You seem enthusiastic," Kenma said. Then Lev restarted back and it became a one sided argument.
Soon enough, the drama died down and Kuroo started to talk about his one and only. "She's amazing~" He started. "She's a bit odd but I love her nonetheless. She kinda reminds me of Kenma and Bokuto in a way. She loves music and would often send me some songs to listen," And that was the start of a half hour rant of his girlfriend. Right then and there, Lev regretted his decision.
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Study date
Kuroo and his Oxytocin (lover), were having a small study date. They were in Kuroo's house and were enjoying their little date time before they study. The Mario team song was playing as the two were racing. "YES! I'M WINNING!" His lover yelled as she was in front of him. "Not for long~" Kuroo stated as his focused was on the screen. As time passes and the gap widens, Kuroo turned to his plan B. He then looked at his Oxytocin and kissed her out of nowhere. The girl immediately responded to the kiss and stopped pressing the buttons. Soon enough, Kuroo passed the girl with ease and won. His lover looked at him with a betrayed look and then scowled. "You cheat!" Hse said as she pointed a finger to him.
"C'mon my Oxytocin~ I didn't cheat in Mario carts!" Kuroo declared as he gazed at his lover. "Didn't cheat?!? Didn't cheat?!? YOU KISSED ME IN THE MIDDLE OF THE GAME!" She yelled as she hit his shoulders gently. "And? We didn't lay any ground rules so what's the point?" Kuroo then stated. The girl huffed and played the controller down. "Should we start studying?" She asked as she picked up a book. The book was a chemistry book taht wasn't even for their curriculum. It was just an extra book to fulfill Kuroo's love for chemistry. She placed it down and picked up her book instead. "We still have a bit of time," Kuroo started as he patted on his bed. He then stood up and gazed at the book she took. And English book to be exact, he took the book and placed it down. "Let's cuddle for a while," He added as he pulled you to his bed and cuddled you.
"And I wonder if your team mates know how much of a cuddle monster you are?" She said as she chuckled. Kuroo placed his arms around her body and nuzzled his head on her hair. "Yes, of course. I won't shut up about you," he added as he pulled you closer. "So are we studying or not?" She then said as she kissed his cheek.
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Author's note
Thanks for complying with my request! I hope it wasn't much of a bother. 👉👈
I had fun writing this! I hope you enjoy this one~
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geneclarksboobs · 4 years
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The Beach Boys go to the Museum
A crackfic. Read if you want to immediately lose all your brain cells.
---
    Once upon a time, Brian Wilson was daydreaming about girls going to the museum which was very educational. More educational than daydreaming about girls which is good for you which is why he was daydreaming about going to the museum instead of girls. 
    “Yoo hoo brothers!” he said. 
    “What is it, big brother?” shouted Dennis and Carl Wilson from another part of the Beach Boys ResidenceTM
    “I have decided to go to the museum which is a very educational activity for us to do which will be beneficial for us,” said Brian. “I will call our cousin, Michael Edward Love, and our friend, Alan Charles Jardine.”
    “Oh ok, big brother,” the two younger Wilsons said. “As soon as we get out of the shower and clothe ourselves (which will probably align with the arrival of our cousin, Michael Edward Love, and our friend, Alan Charles Jardine), we shall take off in the Beach Boy MobileTM to go to the museum as you wish.”
T I M E S K I P
    “Incredible,” said Carl Wilson. “We have finished showering and being clothed just as our cousin, Michael Edward Love, and our friend, Alan Charles Jardine, have arrived.”
    “Now we can go to the  Beach Boy MobileTM to go to the museum Brian Wilson, my big brother, wishes.”     “I hate this story,” said Michael Edward Love, a man with no taste.
“Do not attempt to break the fourth wall,” said Brian Douglas Wilson, extremely annoyed at Mike Love’s lack of taste.
“Harrumph >:( !” harrumped Michael Edward Love.
Suddenly, Bruce Arthur Johnston appeared out of Norway. “May I come too?”
“Permission accepted,” said Al Jardine
T I M E S K I P
    The beach boys arrived at the Museum of Interesting Plot which interested them very much. They headed into the museum, where they bumped into GASP! The Beatles - an English rock band formed in Liverpool in 1960 with a line-up comprising John Lennon, Paul McCartney, George Harrison and Ringo Starr, who are regarded as the most influential band of all time. 
    “THE BEACH BOYS!” the bug boys ejected.
    “THE BEATLES!” the sand children exclaimed.
    “What a coincidence that we have bumped into you guys in the exact same museum,” said John Lennon. “I bet you were trying to sneak behind us and steal our songwriting ideas >:O”
    “Absolutely not >:O” said Brian Wilson, putting his hands on his hip in a gesture of frustration. “I bet YOU were trying to sneak behind us and steal OUR songwriting ideas”
    “We were not >:O” said Sir James Paul McCartney.
    They started fighting and in the moment of anger, they broke!! The statue of David (not Crosby unfortunately for the statue of David Crosby has cursed the museum for over a century now)!!!!!!!
    “HEY” said The Manager of The Museum (which was an unfortunate name given to him by his parents sad emoji)
    “Oh no” said Brian Wilson.
“Oh no” said Carl Wilson.
“Oh no” said Dennis Wilson.
“Oh no” said Mike Love.
“Oh no” said Al Jardine.
“Oh no” said Bruce Johnston.
“Oh no” said George Harrison.
“Oh no” said Paul McCartney.
“Oh no” said Ringo Starr
“Yoko Ono?” said John Lennon. “My wife in the future, depending on the era.”
“OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” THERE WAS A CAR CRASHING INTO THE MUSEUM WHICH BROKE THE STATUE OF DAVID TENNANT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 
IT WAS THE POOR MONKEES!!! IN THE MONKEE MOBILE!!!
“Ouchies!” said Micky Dolenz.
“OMG” said The Manager of The Museum (who happened to also be a clone of  Ringo Starr) He was angry. Very angry. So angry, that he was angry. “You guys better pay for this.”
“But we can’t,” said the Beatles (for Brian Epstein did not give them their allowance that day)
“We can’t either,” said the Beach Boys (for they had already spent enough on getting a nintendo switch to play animal crossing: new horizons.
This is left the poor, poor Monkees. “Bruh we poor af.”
“Then you have to work to pay for it smh,” said The Manager of The Museum.
“OH NO!” said all of them at once.
“You must go around the museum to find three fragments of the broken statue that you have broken, which somehow have been transported into the museum which you must complete challenges to get!”
“Like Dora the Explorer?” asked George Harrison, the youngest member of the Beatles. 
    “Yea,” saidThe Manager of The Museum. “Ok bye im gonna play animal crossing: new horizons now :))))))”
    “Ok. We must split up into three groups.”
BEACH BOYS SECTION - THE HALL OF THINGS THAT HAVE TO DO WITH WATER
    “Wow, how convenient is that we have coincidentally walked into the hall of things that have to do with water,” said Denny Wilson. “It is as this was planned.”
    And then…………………….”oh my god a wave,” said M*ke Love.
    “QUICKLY INTO THE BEACH GEAR” shouted Brian Wilson as they proceeded to use the sims animation to change into their beach gear. “NOW WE MUST.,,,,,,,,,,,,.,.,..,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,..,.,.,.,..,.,.,”
“We thro Dennise into da water bc he is da only 1 who can surf XD” said Mke Luv as he tossed Deniise into da water liKE A BOSS AND HI-FIVES ALL ROUND WAPOOSH WAPOOSH TAHK YOU GUYS FOR WATCHING AND I’LL SEE U IN THE NEXT VIDEO!!! *outro plays*
“Ahem,” said Ctrl. “We did not bring a surfboard,,,,,,,,so how is he supposed to surf??? Thonk emoji. Lmfao roasted XD”
“We use (drumroll pls) AL SARDINE as Da Surfboard Lmao!!!” said Miiiiiike lov e as they all jumped on Al Jardine.
“I did not feel a thing, lol” said ALAN JARDINE because he was a super strong boy (stock image of a blond guy flexing his muscles).
Surfing montage.
Surfing montage.
Surfing montage.
Surfing montage.
Surfing montage.
Surfing montage.
Surfing montage.
Surfing montage.
Surfing montage.
Surfing montage.
Surfing montage.
Surfing montage.
“Bruh we reusing animation bro,” said Denal Wilson.
“Oh look an island,” said Brain. Dey all hopped off and landed on the island. On the island was Kurt Cobain.
“Wow Mr Kurt Cobain,” said Broose Honda. “I did not know you lived on dis island.”
“I don’t rofl,” said Coq Au Vin as he handed them a statue fragment.
“Oh wow thx Coco Van,” as they flew away.
MONKEE SECTION - THE HALL OF….I DONT KNOW
    “Lmao is that Stephen Arthur Stills, an American singer, songwriter, and multi-instrumentalist best known for his work with Buffalo Springfield and Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young,” joked Micky Dolenz, pointing to a mirror in front of Peter Tork.
    “Lol yeah,” said Stephen.
    Micky screamed.
    “Here you go broski,” said Stephen Stills, handing them a fragment.
    “But what did we do?” asked Mike Nesmith.
    “Allowing the author to make the awful, often repeated annoying joke about me and Peter Halsten Thorkelson looking like identical twins.”
    “Ok thanks brewski,” said the Monkees as they headed off. “Come on Peter, don’t just stand there.”
    “But I’m Stephen.”
    “Wait,” said Davy. “But Peter was standing there just now.”
    “No, I was standing there.”
    The Monkees looked at each other and had a collective sigh. It was not gonna be as easy as they thought.
    And to make this complication more complicated, the author decided to make David Crosby, Graham Nash and Neil Young walk into the scene.
    “Bro Stephen wtf,” said Neil. “I knew you were small but I didn’t think you could crawl into the vents like that.”
    “But I’m Peter??????????”
    “Oh no not again,” said Graham Nash, already getting another headache.
    “Wait, wait wait, just a moment,” said Davy Jones. “Go back a bit. What do you mean by crawling through the vents.”
    “Please do not question the plot,” threatened David Crosby. 
    “YUH DAVY” said Micky. “Come on now, Peter,” - he grabbed Peter’s hand -” we gotta advance the plot.”
    “But I’m Stephen.”     Micky looked at him with such an expression that expressed a deep amount of hatred for the author. “It doesn’t matter. You guys are the same person anyway.”
The other lads shrugged and took poor Peter Halsten Dorkelson who was too confuzzled and befuddled and bamboozled to be crying.
BEATLES SECTION - THE HALL OF PAPERWORK
    “This is so boring,, (-_-)” said Jawn Jennon. “I think George Harrison fell asleep.”     “L M A O i did rofl lol,” said Heorge Garrison.
    “I am surprised because there is so much paperwork lying about that all look so boring!!” said Paul McEyelash.
    “Someone should clean this up smh,” said Ringone Starone.
    “YAAWWWWWWWWWWWNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!” they all sed at 1nce. That yawn pushed a stack of paper off a table, which caused a chain reaction, leading to a bucket falling down, a train being activated, a cow mooing and the members of Queen being awoken from their frozen-in-som-kind-a-tube state.
    “BRO WTF WHOMST WOKE US UP (((p(>o<)q)))” said Roger Taylor, stretching. “I was still having my beauty sleep.”
    “(O.O) omg (O.O)(O.O) oh mah gawd (O.O)(O.O)(O.O)” said Freddie Mercury. “Are those (O.O)(O.O)(O.O)(O.O) the legendary (O.O)(O.O)(O.O)(O.O)(O.O)(O.O)(O.O)(O.O) bug boys????????”
    “Ja” said gH.
    “ヽ(★ω★)ノ” said Brian May
    “(¬_¬") smh you woke up my cheese toast,” said John Deacon.
    “I guess, we should thank u for waking us up,” said Freddeh.
    “We wuz nevah gonna wake up,” said Briaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan Mei.
    “Take dis,” Rogah Taylah gave them a statue fragment that had landed in his hair.
    “Wow thanks that was EZ lmao,” said the bug boys as they went away.
T I M E S K I P
    “(●^o^●)” said The Manager of the Museum as he stuck the broken statue fragments of the broken statue of the Museum of Interesting Plot Idea (well I think that what it was called Lmao I didn’t check don’t correct me doe lel)
    “It was’t very challenging at all doe…” said Sand Children. “And for a story with out name in the title, we did not seem to get much attention at all.”
    “Shut up you’ll get your moment later,” said the others pointing down to the rest of the story. “See look at that.”     “None of this is very good,” said Mike Hate, a man with no taste.
    They all went into their respective vehicles and drove away.
    “WAIT!!!!!!” said Dave Jone of the Monkees, pausing the time. “We did not resolve the plot point of us actually kidnapping Steven Stills?????”
    “Help me,” said Stepe.
    “STFU IT’S OUR STORY (◣_◢)” said the beach of the boys, so infuriated with them that smoke came out of their ears like a boiling kettle and their eyes started glowing red which indicated anger.
    “Oh ok sorry lel, he’s British Lol,” said Mike Nesmith.
    “STFU Myke Gessmith.”
    “;~;” said Mike Nukesmith.
    “Y do u guys always have to take the spotlight?!” asked the Beaky Bubs.
    “Bc we’re the author’s favourites, unfortunately,” said Micky, shivering at the memories of what had happened to them before in previous crack fics.
    “Sux for u lmao.”
    Uh how to end dis. Boom. Story done lel.
    THE END FADE TO BLACK
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.Al Barmine
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aces-to-apples · 6 years
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@norcumi Eeeee! No one’s ever sent in an ask for this meme! So:
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[Aboard the Resolute, a hangar bay is in a flurry of motion as several different squadrons of troopers scramble to load up onto various gunships and starfighters.]
Caption: Why do we always get stuck with the shit missions?
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“Shit mission”, in this case, meaning that they aren’t even being sent to the front lines, they’re sneaking past the enemy (as much as they can manage) and Fives just wants to kick some clanker ass.
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[Shown: surroundings too dark for anything but vague shapes to be made out.]
Unknown voice, singing under its breath, to no particular tune: “We’re gonna kriffing die, we’re gonna kriffing die, I don’t know how we’re gonna go but we’re gonna kriffing die. And it’s all Echo’s fa-a-ault…”
Second voice, hissing: “If you don’t shut the kriff up you really are about to die!”
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This is a post-Citadel AU in which Echo didn’t die because fuck David Filoni but he did get blown up and severely injured. This is only like his second or third mission after being let out of the medics’ sight and Fives isn’t coping very well. So he’s being a dickhead because that, my dears, is how real siblings deal with joint-trauma. By giving each other shit, stealing their stuff, and calling each other names.
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[Twin flashlights click on, showing several troopers with blue trim making their way through a cramped hallway. The dank, crumbling walls imply the location is both abandoned and very, very old; the architecture is consistent with holos of pre-Ruusan Reformation Jedi temples.]
First voice, no longer singing: “Hey, Echo, just out of curiosity, why the fuck did you have to touch the one suspiciously clean wall decoration?”
Second voice: “Fives, I swear to god…!”
[The trooper leading the group spins around, helmet decal revealing them to be Captain Rex.]
Rex: “If you two don’t shut your karking mouths, I am going to—”
Fives and Echo, at the same time: “Yes, sir, understood, sir!”
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The first paragraph of this description was added by a brother in the 327th with an interest in architecture. Fives wouldn’t know the difference between a pre-Ruusan Reformation Jedi temple and a temple built last year besides “one looks old as dirt”.
In regards to the shit-giving: look. Echo is tired, okay? He got blown up. He spent like two freaking months in mandatory convalescence. And only seven weeks of that was for actual healing and physio therapy. The other three were just him being told over and over again to “take it easy” by the Jedi healers. Shaak Ti herself told him that he wouldn’t be allowed back on the front a moment before the Jedi said he could. It was infuriating. You know who’s never taken a break in his life and wouldn’t know how to even begin? Literally every single brother in the army! And he finally gets back to his one surviving batchmate and what happens? Oh yeah, he takes a quick fucking breather while trying to make their way to General Kenobi’s last known position, grabs onto a weird-looking carving on the wall to hoist himself back up, and they all take a trip down a trapdoor. Fucking typical. He’d’ve preferred getting blown up permanently at this point.
And Rex? He just wants everyone to stop screwing around and to make sure his favorite Jedi isn’t fucking dead.
Why is everything in this family such a goddamn trial?
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[A group of troopers wearing gold trim surround a stone dais in the middle crumbling, circular room with most of its ceiling missing. A small hexagonal gem resting on the dais pulsates deep green in the afternoon sunlight.
Off to the side, Generals Kenobi and Skywalker murmur to each other very seriously while casting anxious glances at the gem.]
Fives, yelling from behind the camera: “Hey, everybody, Echo got us all dumped into the dungeon! How did the battle that we were supposed to provide back-up for go?”
[The camera lurches forward and down, as if the carrier was shoved from behind. Fives lets out a startled yelp.]
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IMPORTANT EDIT: "A group of troopers wearing gold trim surround a stone dais..."
I👏WILL👏DIE👏ON👏THIS👏HILL👏
The aforementioned “shit mission”, specifically, was to provide backup to the generals who had gone to Mumblecough in order to retrieve some kind of Force object that they knew Ventress was being sent after. Ventress was sent after the Force object because Dooku knew that the Jedi were being sent after it. Neither of them actually know what it’s supposed to do, but it feels… weird in the Force. It’s freaking Anakin out, bringing to mind the way his nightmares felt leading up to his mother’s murder. It’s freaking Obi-Wan out too, reminding him of a lot of shit he’d rather not think about; he’s just better at hiding it.
When Fives calls out Echo’s accident in front of the fucking Marshal Commander of the entire GAR, Echo loses it, kicks out the back of Fives’ knee, and punts him into the fucking ground. Asshole better stay down too if he knows what’s good for him. (Spoiler alert: he does not. That’s the most Echo-like that Echo has been since getting back to the 501st. Fives is gonna be insufferable.)
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[Video begins zoomed in on General Kenobi mid-sentence, gesturing widely with an arm.]
General Kenobi: “—ll never figure out why the Separatists are so interested in this artifact if we don’t take it back with us and study it!”
General Skywalker, exasperated and without a single shred of self-awareness: “I just don’t think that’s a good idea, Master! We have no idea what it does and I don’t like the feel of it in the Force. It could be dangerous.”
Kenobi: “Anakin—”
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Rex wrote Anakin’s description. He also adds “full of unrestrained scientific curiosity” about Obi-Wan, but Fives vetoed it because ~conjecture~.
Overall, what’s a 501st/212th team-up without Anakin and Obi-Wan arguing like a married couple and Obes sighing Anakin’s name like That?
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[Video begins zoomed in on General Skywalker, red-faced and all of two inches away from General Kenobi. Given the much tenser body language of the two and their changed positions, the argument has likely been going for at least a couple minutes since the last video.]
General Skywalker: “—nd just because nothing bad happened last time doesn’t mean you should just go around picking up random Force-objects!”
General Kenobi, stroking his beard: “… Very well, Anakin, I see your point.”
Skywalker, throwing his hands up: “Thank you!”
[Camera zooms out. General Skywalker’s breathing begins to slow and he backs up several steps, evidently realizing how closely he’d been invading the other man’s space. He carefully brushes down the front of his tabards before turning to face Captain Rex.
The moment his back is turned, General Kenobi turns to the dais and strides purposefully towards it while Skywalker is distracted.]
Commander Cody, realizing General Kenobi’s intent: “Sir—”
[General Kenobi quickly but carefully picks the gem up from the dais. The room is filled with a blinding white light and a rush of ear-splitting static is heard.]
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[A bright blue sky with two suns is seen through the crumbling remains of the ceiling.]
Fives, groaning from behind the camera: “Oh my sweet karking gods, what the hells was that?”
[Camera shudders and tilts as its holder gets to their feet. Reoriented, the mixed group of troopers is scrambling to regain their own feet, check in with each other, and examine the surroundings for danger.
Commander Cody is a singular beacon of stillness amongst the chaos, standing next to the dais and looking down at the prone figure wearing Jedi tunics.]
Commander Cody, voice strong and level, but with an odd note of strain: “General Skywalker, you may want to see this!”
Fives, emphatically: “Well, kriff me.”
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Fives pls
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[The holder of the camera quickly makes its way across the room over to Commander Cody and General Skywalker—both staring at the unconscious figure on the ground—apologizing to several other troopers as he pushes past them until he reaches his destination.]
Fives, even more emphatically: “Well, kriff me.”
[Camera zooms in on the unconscious face of General Kenobi, who is now clean-shaven and sporting a different set of tunics from before as well as a Padawan braid. He looks to be at least a decade and a half younger than before.]
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ARC-Trooper Fives: just call him “Mr. Sensitive.”
Also, Houston, we have several problems.
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madridcampeon · 7 years
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I'm in that mood again and I feel like you're a great person to talk about this, so anyways, cristiano is beautiful really really beautiful, not just physically but as a person as an entity as an idea you know? He's ambitious but realistic & hard working but is also kind to himself & traditional but ahead of his time/accepting he's just so much like so so much he represents so much to me! As an islander from Portugal myself, an even smaller island than Madeira I might add, he's so special to me!
Aaaahh i was curious to know if you were from Portugal!! Also you’ve just become my fave anon pls omg pls always share these thoughts w me hahah u know im a sucker for sappy essays about cristiano. because YES he is beautiful. 
I have a hard time finding Cristiano sexually attractive whatsoever but I have always found him incredibly beautiful, like art almost. I mean u dont wanna fuck Michelangelo’s David… you wanna contemplate it. Like that’s how I feel about Cristiano really which is why I can’t stand when boys (and girls) tell me I’m only a fan “cus he’s hot”. If only it were that easy then I wouldn’t be crying every other day about how unbelievable this man is, like you said, not just physically but mentally, and emotionally. He’s got one of the most fascinating personalities that I just have a hard time believe is even real, because how is he so damn strong, how does the hate not affect him, no criticism affects him besides the criticism he gives himself - and although very frustrating sometimes, that is just so incredible to me how he’s never bothered, just doing his job,shutting mouths in the process. I also love how in his most recent live (and in several different interviews) he said ‘You support me in the good moments and in the… not bad, because there are no bad moments, but in the less good moments’ and he’s said countless times that he cannot have bad moments in his life because he’s privileged to be rich, to work on what he loves, to have a family that loves him. That level of altruism is amazing, because every day there are awful things written up about him online, there are few ppl who’ve been more hated than him, but he’s so aware of how meaningless that all is compared to everything happening in the world and that’s as humble as you can get - and how some people don’t see this baffles me. His altruism also expresses itself on how much he gives back to the people who have been there for him like his family and friends (why ppl think it’s embarrassing that so many of his relatives get helped by him i will never understand), his fans, and most of all, those in need. Year in and year out he’s the most charitable athlete in the world and god am I proud to support this man.
And here’s the thing, all of this barely shows through to the public, which is why so many ppl have such a poor idea of who he actually is. But he just doesn’t publicize it. He’s good because he feels that it is his obligation. But he’s also a human being and he’s not a fucking saint and that’s the best part about him because you know he’s going to fuck up but you also know that that doesn’t make him any less amazing. In fact, it might make him even more so. He’s very complex, and not a lot of people realize that. Most regard him as the devil, some regard him as a God, but it’s when you see him for who he truly is, as a flawed human being, that you truly see his magnitude. Like you said, him as an entity and everything he stands for, everything he’s achieved, every bad joke, every good deed, every mistake, every wrong move, all of it together, make for my (and probably yours too) favorite person in the universe. And i love him very very much. 
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