#also did not dare to fight the special boss at the end of floor 5 i havent even done the event yet chill omg

[plsleafmelon]

OK WHO THE HOLY FUCK IS JUN AND WHY IS HE DECIMATING MY TEAM SO FUCKING HARD IN MDH

all my sinners do is breathe in his direction and he goes so trigger happy like jfc the moment i see someone boutta clash w him i go full defense mode like u just see that whole bar full of evades yeah thats me fighting him

[thebestofoneshots]

Christmas Times

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x reader

Prompt: In which you and Bucky have to get the Christmas tree for the compound and decorate it afterwards. Set on an AU whee Bucky joins the team before civil war happens.

Notes: Some Christmas fluff because I’m getting festive. Also Sebs new IG post inspired me I couldn’t stop myself.

Warnings: I mean reader does bump into her very mean aunt but she gets put on her place so it’s nothing you can’t handle.

You stood outside the door only a few seconds before knocking on the door.

“Yes?” You heard his husky voice from the inside of the room. So he was sleeping. He had a late mission last night you recalled, it made sense that he would still be sleeping.

You opened the door “hey! Sorry to wake you, But we need to get the Christmas tree for the common room.”

He was lying on the bed, covers on top of him but arms over them, the silver arm shinning with the small rays of sunset that slipped from the window, you could see his muscular frame. His now short hair a little messy on the pillow. “A Christmas tree? Doesn’t Tony have like a bunch of people that decorate and stuff?”

“Yes... he does. But apparently is a tradition that someone from the team buys the tree and decorates it. Said it was our turn.”

He drew a deep breath “Ok, then. I’m coming,” he smiled and stood from the bed. He was only wearing a pair of tight boxers and he turned quickly to grab his jeans so you couldn’t see much more than his muscular back, and obviously his ass, but you blushed anyway. You’d develop a small crush on the Winter Soldier since you joined the team.

“I’ll uh... wait outside,” you said and started going out.

“No, it’s fine I’m ready,” He said turning around. Still shirtless and walking to his closet to put on a shirt quickly. You turned to the side to hide your blush. Is not like you hadn’t seen him shirtless before, he went for a swim every other day. But his environment was different, it felt homier? Perhaps... “You ok?”

“What?” You asked turning your face back to him.

“You seemed... lost in thought.”

“Did I?... I didn’t notice. Shall we go?” You said skillfully changing the subject and started walking outside. “You know? I’m lucky I got paired with you to get the tree,” you spoke, a small smile appeared on his face as you did. He enjoyed spending time with you as well. “Your super soldier strength will come in super handy...”

“Is that the only reason you’re lucky? I was hoping it was because of my magnetic personality,” he joked.

“Oh, curse is not the only reason Buck,” you smiled as you playfully punched his arm.

The two of you got to the parking lot by then and grabbed the truck. You took the driver's seat since you knew the modern New York better than he did.

“Do we need to get ornaments as well?” He asked as you passed a few Christmas stores.

“Tony said he had some saved but we could buy anything we liked, every avenger has added their own special thing to the tree of something like that, that’s what makes it special,” you explained.

“When did you even talk to Tony about this? I thought he was in Europe.”

“Oh, he left a video recording and told FRIDAY to help me with whatever else.”

“There!” He said pointing outside “over there there was a very beautiful one,” he explained. You had to continue for a bit to be able to get to the other side of the road and then a bit more to find a parking spot but after a while, you finally stopped.

“I’ll follow you,” you said as you got out of the car and closed it by pressing the small button on the key. A few minutes later Bucky and you were looking at the many different trees in the garden.

“(Y/N)?” He called as you absently looked at one of the trees.

“Mhm?”

“Wouldn’t it be better if we got a plastic tree? Reuse it every year? To avoid climate change and deforestation?”

“You’ve been watching way to much Discovery channel,” you giggled “but actually, I was wondering the same thing and I googled it, apparently a plastic tree is worse unless you reuse it for more than 5 years, and it’s wasteful either way because I’ll end up on a landfill. But Tony promised he’d plant 10 pine trees for every Christmas tree used in the tower so that’s even better!”

“We should buy two then,” he said with a smile.

All right, let’s take a picture, you said as you took out your phone and posted him in front of a Christmas tree. As you were taking the picture you saw someone that made you quickly lower your head and fast walk towards Bucky to use him as a hiding spot.

“What?” He said looking around alert.

“Nothing, just. My aunt is there! I haven’t seen her in a while, and she’s just going to continue nagging me about getting a boyfriend “ you explained “so I’m just gonna, go hide for a while,” you said and quickly walked behind some trees leaving Bucky in that same spot.

As you hid in between a few trees and turned your back pretending to be really distraught by a random tree when someone taped on your shoulder. You frowned and cursed under your breath before turning with a smile.

“(Y/N)!” She smiled pulling you into a hug “I thought it was you back there.

“Aunt Linda! How’s it been?” You asked her smiling.

“Oh just fine, that’s what. I wanted to come here with your cousins but they were too busy to come. So I had to come to get the tree all by myself. What about you? Did you come alone too? I know you don’t have many friends anyway but maybe you convinced someone to help you...” she smiled.

“I... ugh—“

“—doll! I finally find you! I lost you a few trees back, I was about to tell you I found the perfect tree for home.”

“Bucky I...“

“Home?” Your aunt asked with a raised eyebrow.

“Aunt Linda this is—“

“—Her boyfriend,” Bucky answered pulling one of his charming gentleman smiles from the ’40s, “you can call me James,” he stretched his arm “it’s a pleasure to meet you, ma’am.”

“Well it’s a pleasure to meet you,” she smiled “such a handsome man! Never thought my niece would get a man like you. You’re out of her ligue.” Yes, that was Aunt Linda, poisonous words and all. And people wondered why you were hiding from her. “And to be honest, I was starting to think she was lesbian. 25 years and you’re the first one.” She finished.

You smiled “And there would be nothing wrong with me being a lesbian, would it?” you frowned. Bucky pulled you closer to him, with his flesh arm on your waist.

“Oh, of course not honey but you know, you’re already the family’s black sheep. You wouldn’t wanna make it even more evident. People would talk.”

“People like you I suppose,” spit Bucky from the side. He seemed to be getting rather angry at her. He clearly hadn’t had the brilliant opportunity to spend a whole Christmas with her and her vicious words or he’d understand she was actually being polite.

“Oh no darling, I would never, but some people on the family can be very creative, in a negative way if you know what I mean. So... how did you two meet?”

“At work.” You answered quickly, wanted to get away from there as soon as possible.

“Oh... at work...” she replied viciously, “well it’s not a surprise since you’re always working.”

“Yes, the minute she walked into the office for the first time she caught my eye. She wore a black suit and was walking alongside our boss looking like an angel. But it wasn’t until we got our first assignment together that I fell completely and utterly in love with her. With her mind and her voice and her everything. She has this way of analyzing situations and finding solutions, it’s incredible.”

You looked back at Bucky and then to your aunt who stood there with her mouth agape. You looked back at Bucky again and thought to yourself ‘damn he was a good actor. Little did you know he hadn’t been acting.

But then a busy woman walked passed really fast, pushing Bucky and casing his glove to fall on the floor. The glove that covered his metal arm.

She pulled his hand towards hers to look at it as you leaned to pick the glove up. Bucky seemed uncomfortable.

“Oh, you don’t have a hand.”

“It’s my whole arm actually,” Bucky corrected. You’d think no one would dare to say something offensive in a situation like this but there was Aunt Linda for you.

“Oh, that explains it.”

“Explains what?” You questioned.

“How such a handsome man would fall I love with you. He’s not complete. He IS on your ligue...”

And that was all it took. “You stop right there! First of all, him lacking an arm does not make him any less of a man or any less attractive. Second, he is one of the sweetest, nicest, bravest humans I know. And third of all, he is a veteran and lost his arm fighting for your country so you should show some respect!”

Your aunt looked at you perplexed. And blinked a bunch of times. “I didn’t mean to... I...”

“Aunt Linda, I didn’t—“

“—I’ll talk to your mother about this.” She said before turning around and leaving.

You and Bucky shared a look and started laughing at her offended frame as she was liked away. At first, you tried to hold it, but once she was far away enough the two of you were almost crying.

“That’s a character.”

“See why I was hiding?” You told him after taking a deep breath. Once the two of you finally cooled down, you noticed that you still had his glove on your hand. You looked at it and a free taking a deep breath you handed it to him. “I’m really sorry about that,” you said as you handed him the glove “but also thanks for stepping in and pretending to be my boyfriend. Although now the whole family is going to ask me about the mysterious James...”

“I’ll be happy to assist as your boyfriend whenever any other family member shows up,” He smiled.

“For what’s worth, I truly meant everything I said earlier. Your metal arm does not take away any of your worth Bucky,” you told him as you rubbed his flesh arm a little. There was nothing else you could do to comfort him, even knowing how delicate the subject was for him, especially it being originally made by hydra. “Anyway... did you really find a tree or were you just making that up?”

“I did!” He smiled. “Come!” He grabbed your hand to pull you through the made of trees towards the one you wanted. Once you got it, between the two of you you manage to load the tree on the truck and after a short drive stopped by a small Christmas market.

You walked along with Bucky through the beautiful Market but separated from each other when you stopped to look at some of the ornaments. You’d found a small shop that would vinyl cut whatever you wanted on a beautiful golden orb. “Hey (Y/N),” you heard as you stared at the machine from that small shop. You turned to find Bucky with a small bag in his hand. “I found the perfect ornament for you,” he said as he opened the bag and pulled a small crystal mermaid from it.

“She’s beautiful,” you said staring at it with awe. “How did you find her?”

“She was on a small store somewhere over there,” he said pointing to the right, trying to stop you from noticing he had maybe spent too much money on her because he couldn’t stop himself after seeing how perfectly fitting it would be.

“Thank you, Buck. I can’t believe you remembered I love mermaids so much...” you smiled. “Either way, I actually found something that would be perfect for you.”

“You did?” He raised an eyebrow.

“Yes! just you wait,” you winked and walked towards the small shop you’d found and ordered a little special thing. They said it would take around 20 minutes so you went back to Bucky.

“Let’s get an ice-cream,” you said as you pulled Bucky to a small ice-cream shop and ordered a few cones.

“You have plum taste?” You asked as the small lady nodded. “Two balls of plum in one and the other chocolate and blueberry please,” you ordered with a smile.

They gave you your ice creams in just a few seconds. And you walked back to the earlier shop alongside Bucky, the ornament was ready. You paid for it and held it behind your hands to show Bucky with a surprise. “All right close your eyes.”

He did as told. And you placed the ornament on his right hand and gave it a small squeeze to indicate he could open it. He stated at it for a while. The golden ornament had a shield on it. Like Steve’s original shield but with silver and red in the center. The cold slopes through the cracks between his shield, making it look just like his new arm. “You don’t like it...” you said since he hadn’t said anything.

“Like it?” He asked in disbelieve “I love it!”

You finally let out the breath you were holding. The shopping time was finished and the two of you hoped back on the truck to drive back to the compound.

Once there, the two of you brought the tree down and place it in the center of the common room. “FRIDAY? Where are all the decorations for the tree you told me about?”

“The box is behind the counter,” Explained FRIDAY.

“Yes, it is!” Said Bucky while pulling a very big plastic box from behind the counter.

He brought the box next to the tree and the two of you started looking through the box. Finding small ornaments and guessing which one was chosen by who from the team.

The first thing you did was add all of the lights, you choose the colourful ones and started filling the tree with them. After you started placing all the different ornaments. Leaving the two new ones you had purchased for the end, just like FRIDAY had advised you too.

“It looks nice,” you said as you smiled to yourself feeling accomplished. The shiny tree looks as beautiful as ever, the lights bouncing around from one place to another.

“We still have these,” pointed Bucky out taking the ornaments that the two of you got at the market.

“You’re right!” You said as you carefully took the mermaid from his hand and stared at the tree for a place to put it in. After a few seconds, the two of you started moving but neither noticed until your hands collided. The two of you were trying to place the ornament in the same place.

“Are you imitating me?”

“No. It was just the empty branch,” he pointed “the no es empty branch.”

“Well yes, it is the emptiest spot,” you agreed “all right, this is what we’re going to do, I’ll place mine over here,” you pointed at one spot “and yours can be here,” you pointed at another one, right next to yours.

“Deal,” he said as he placed his ornament. You placed your small mermaid later and it appeared as if the mermaid was looking at Bucky’s shield. Just like in the real world, you thought to yourself. Little did you notice Bucky was the one staring at you right then and there.

“We still need to add the star,” you said getting the delicate Swarovski star from the small box, of course, Tony would have a Swarovski star.

“Oh I’m not touching that, I don’t want to break it,” he said stepping out. “Tony doesn’t have much tolerance for me anyway.”

“Don’t be silly, I can’t reach the top anyway. The tree is too tall.”

“I’m not touching it.”

“Bucky!”

“I’m not. But I can carry you,” he shrugged.

“That would be less stable than just placing it in the top,” you reasoned.

“I’ve made my mind.”

“FRIDAY, do we have a ladder?”

“No, but you could use that chair over there.”

Bucky went for the chair and brought it to you. Placing eight on the side of the tree. You tried to step on it “this is so unstable...”

“Don’t worry I’ll watch your back,” he said as he tried to keep the chair shady with his hands.

“This is ridiculous James, you could’ve just placed it without an issue.” You mumbled as you slowly placed the star on the top. But your shoelace caught onto the side of the chair and you tripped and fell.

Luckily for you, Bucky was paying attention and he quickly grabbed you from the waist to stop You from falling face-first on the floor, instead, you fell on top of him since your weight had grown the both of you on the floor.

First thing you did as soon as you gathered everything that was happening is that you removed your weight from his chest by sitting in his stomach with one leg on either side of his torso, “Can you breathe?” You asked placing your hands on his face to look for any signs of trauma.

He smiled when he noticed how concerned you were “yes I Can breathe doll, I’ve been thrown from higher placed bc way bigger men.”

“But it was a hard fall, and my weight. Could have pulled all the sir from your lungs.”

“I didn’t... no need to worry,” he smiled again.

You drew a relieved breath and smiled too. After that, you rolled off him and instead of standing up you laid on the floor next to him as well.

The tree stood majestic and tall in front of the two of you. “We did an amazing job,” you mumbled.

“It’s because we’re an amazing team,” he responded. A smile appeared on your face when you heard those words.

“We should decorate Christmas trees more often,” you giggled. “But next time you’re placing the start!”

“And miss the opportunity of having you on top of me again? No way!” He joked. The two of you laughed again.

“Thank you, Bucky!” You said then as you gave him a quick fast hug, the two of you still lying on the floor.

“What for?”

“You always make my days brighter,” you said, trying to sound casual.

He turned his whole body towards you, his steel-blue eyes staring directly into yours. “I could say the same thing, doll.”

Find more Bucky fluff over here 👈

Feedback is always appreciated ✨

[writefightandflightclub]

Me appreciating you for Fanfic Writers’ Appreciation Day, but a day late, because I do everything late. Anyway... yay!

1. PLEASE LOOK DOWN THIS LIST (BELOW THE CUT) UNTIL YOU SPOT AN AUTHOR YOU’RE NOT FAMILIAR WITH

2. GO AND CHECK OUT THEIR STUFF

3. SCREAM AT THEM ABOUT HOW GREAT THEY ARE

4. SIGNAL BOOST THE HELL OUT OF THEIR STUFF

5. REPEAT STEPS ABOVE

Firstly, before we proceed to the list: I will have forgotten people, and for that I am so sorry (not in any way intentional)- I will come back and update if I spot someone I’ve missed. Secondly, for fic authors who weren’t tagged on Fic Writers’ Day, please keep doing what you’re doing! Putting your writing out there takes courage and I’m super proud of you. I’m so pleased we have your unique voice in the fandom, and I appreciate you.

Secondly, if you know an author who perhaps didn’t get as much love as they deserve (and don’t be afraid to self-hype) please send me an ask with a) their/your handle b) which fandom they/you write for (to be relevant to my page pls keep this to SW, Oscar, Pedro, MCU) c) why people should check them/you out and, if you like, which fic to start with, and I’ll do a shout-out.

Finally, if you aren’t a writer yet but you want to be, I believe in you! Please take the plunge! My inbox is always open to any aspiring writers who need encouragement to make that first post or start that first fic. I’ve been in your position, and believe me I’m in your corner. Happy to be your hype girl.

Reccing authors in Star Wars / Oscar / Pedro fandoms:

@okay-hotshot / Celeste is the loveliest human ever. She had me hooked from her first fic, which broke then healed my heart, and I’m so proud of her writing journey so far! Check her page out for Oscar character fics and the most magical, creative, immersive, touching, original Llewyn fic you could dream up: Wait for me.

@mandoplease where do I even start? Becca oozes talent and absolutely floors me every single time. The first fic I read was: The City Lights Can Wait (Santi x reader) and I was just blown away by the writing prowess. Gorgeous prose, mind blowing metaphors and descriptions. A personal fave is the Santi/Frankie threesome fic: Moving Day, but Fight Night also needs a mention. Check her out for Triple Frontier / Narcos / Star Wars characters.

@mylifeliterally Ok, Emma is an absolute gem of a human. Funny, welcoming and so supportive of other writers. Oh, and can be counted on for thots. I often rec the positively artful Triple Frontier gangbang fic (and now series) Team Building Exercise, but don’t overlook her other fics- I especially love: Just for Tonight, a two-part Santi fic. The Triple Frontier Queen, she is slowly dragging everyone into a pit of yearning along with her for every single one of those boys and we’re not even mad. Her writing is flawless and I cannot get enough. P.s. she has a refridgerator husband.

@tintinwrites I’ve already gushed at Caitlin today so I’ll keep it brief. Queen of Poe, and also branching out and excelling with everything she touches in Pedro fandoms too. I think I’ve read near everything on her masterlist and there are no wrong choices, but to pick out only a couple, which is a hard task, imma rec Forbidden Fruit and Fifty Ways to Kiss someone for Po, and Nothing Could be Finer for reader x Frankie x Santi. 

@woakiees again, gushed at Hadley already so I’ll try and keep it chill here. Queen of angst and darkness, and of First Order Poe. Also love that she’s writing for Santi and Din now too. Caitlin says it best when she describes Hadley’s writing as like something from 1843 with a modern twist. Such a unique voice. Imma recommend Sanctified and So ruthless, Darling for Poe.

@iamthe-shadow-on-the-wall Abby! The range! You know I remind you on a bi-monthly basis how much Lonely Nights (Poe x reader) broke my heart and here we go again. You can do it all- fluffy, slow burn series (Call it what you want), heartbreaking angst and smut- your Blue Jones mob boss AU, Darkest Little Paradise? Wowzers. Plus, you’re a sweetie and I love when we scream at each other. 

@darksideofclarke Clarke does so much for us all and just keeps giving. From the Sinful Sunday events to the incredible Follower Celebration, to setting up a whole side blog to extend the character takeovers?! Blessed with content! And Clarke’s fics?! Exquisite, and such a choice of characters from the Oscar fandom. I particularly love Now and Forevermore (Orestes); Bulletproof (Santi); Humbled (Blue); and ‘Til Death Do They Part (Mikael) but I could easily go on. Clarke you’re so talented. And you are a lovely human to boot!

@bluebellhairpin Nemo, you are a joy, and I won’t gush at you too much bc I already did that today, but I love what you’re putting out. You write for so many fandoms, which is so impressive, and you’re a fellow Poe hoe. I adore your series Fight or Flight, Rider, but you have so many cute one-shots and blurbs too e.g. Poe Dameron is an Idiot! Your audios give me life as well.

@spider-starry Carrie is so much fun and has been branching out a lot in her writing recently, which is great to see! I love Carrie’s 100 letter project in particular, for various Oscar characters, as well as this smutty Nathan NSFW Alphabet, which had me all in a tizz.

@aellynera (tag me in your stuff pls?) I love your drunk text series for Santi and Nathan and your Itsy Bitsy Spider headcanons made me howl! I’m so excited to see what you put out next! And I love that you also love Nathan :D

@anetteaneta already gushed at you today so I’ll keep it brief, but I’m so happy you’re sharing your writing! I loved your Sherlock series for Santi so much! And OMG wait, I didn’t see you’d written for Nathan until just now. Must catch-up. (Please tag me in any Oscar stuff you put out?)

@veuliee2 I need to catch-up on a lot of your fics to be fair (please tag me in stuff?) but you write Orestes so wonderfully and with so much heart that it blows me away (New Constellations). So few fics on him on this site and yours are a pleasure. Plus, you’re an all round lovely person! :o)

@thirsty-flygirl I don’t think you believe how good you are which makes me very sad to be honest. Because you’re amazing. You write Poe so spot on, so warm and goofy and a lovable sexy dumbass. Perfect. Your writing and dialogue makes me smile / laugh and you can somehow make it hot and soft all at once. I love your series Idiots in particular. (Please tag me in more of your stuff though as I worry I miss things you put out?). You’re great and I love having you here.

@twomoonstwosuns​ I really need to catch-up on your Poe series, Back to You but I really enjoyed the chapters I’ve read! (Please tag me in future Poe stuff?) You’re a star! 

@absurdthirst I’m newish in the Pedro fandoms so still getting to grips with it, but have loved what I’ve seen so far and look forward to delving deeper (and there’s plenty to get stuck into!)!Most recently read the Ezra fic Healing which was beautifully and sensitively written (cw: for prior assault).

@damerondjarin Taylor is multi-talented and blesses us, tbh, with GIFs and writing. She’s currently in tumblr jail, but I strongly advise you check out all her stuff. I came for Santi fics and they did not disappoint (I can’t link to it but the latest Santi fic killed me and was a wonderul take on the “there’s only one bed” trope.

@damndamer0n you have a gift, Ty. I’m in awe and I don’t know how you do what you do. Your way with words is really something special. I bow. Gonna recommend Just Friends for Poe because this is such a warm and immersive (and hot) fic and so in character. But honestly all your stuff is perfect. I’ve read things for characters I’ve never heard of before because of you and have loved each and every one. (Like, really, what are your secrets, tell us?). Also gonna shout-out to your Ezra fic, Sunlight, beacuse the world-building and mood-building was lovely. Really memorable!

@mssr-cellophane I found your work recently through FinnPoe week and your glorious take on the The Jacket prompt (links to A03). Looking forward to reading more of your stuff (please feel free to tag me!) and surprised by how much I vibe with all your posts haha. Happy to follow you! :)

@yougottakeeponkeepinon AMANDA? Where do I begin and how do I stop? You’re such an important part of this site for me. I think you’re wonderful as a person and I love your writing too. Miscommunication (First Order! Poe) is off the scale brilliant, and then you blew me away with your latest Santi fic, Eavesdropping, but honestly, I’ve never read anything of yours I didn’t love, from goofy Poe to soft soft Llewyn (I love Away from the Sun). I WANNA YELL AT YOU YOU’RE JUST THE BEST.

@poesflygirl Nat is a ball of energy and that comes across in her writing. Nat, you write with such verve and energy and defo have a unique voice. You write the angstiest angst and fluffiest fluff and you also write action and dialogue so well. Your fics have a ton of unexpected turns and are unpredictable, and you have loads of unique ideas which are really fresh and different to read. You don’t seem to believe how good you are, which makes me sad tbqh. I love when I see a tag pop up and get to read something new from you! In particular love your Poe series, You and Paging a Heart, and these Poe one-shots: Just another Benduday Night and Truth or Dare.

@starryeyedstories NOVA. You are pure sunshine. You spread so much positivity and you’re the loveliest human. Your are the Queen of softness and fluff and for comforting and beautifully written fics. Your series, Across the Hall,has taken us all on such a wonderful journey and I don’t want it to ever end. It’s like my happy place! Each chapter is practically a hug with words. Your Din one-shot All of Me is so romantic as well!

@softpedropascal I’m newish in Pedro fandoms but softpedropascal writes wonderfully for Frankie. The dedication to the character is evident, and characterisation wonderful- I can’t wait to read more: Masterlist

@rzrcrst okay, you may know rzrcrst for Pedro fics (which are wonderful) but she also recently started writing for Tony Stark and I’m so happy! 😀🧡 (Fun fact- her url is also the reason I couldn’t spell Razor Crest properly when I finally started writing for Din). She’s currently taking a well-earned tumblr break but fics are still up on Ao3- linked in profile.

@writefasttalkevenfaster​ Please tag me in any of your Star Wars stuff as I swear I keep missing things and I don’t mean to! Masterlist

@galaxy-of-stories​ Maddie, I keep missing things you post but you’re lovely and your writing is awesome. I love your Poe series Over and Over and I think I’ve just spotted a new chapter to catch-up on so lucky me! :D

@who-talks-first Billie, my lovely friend! You’re wonderful to have around on this hellsite. Your dedication to supporting writers in these fandoms is unparelled and you’re an absolute sweatheart, as well as super fun to chat to and thirst with. You have certainly made my experience on this site so much better! And also, your writing? Excuse me? So good. Your Poe fic, The Torture of Small Talk With Someone You Used to Love? Sublime! And the Poe, Naked, Dripping, Locked? So funny! You definitely have a unique style and your writing can be simultaneously edgy, poetic, and moving. ILY!

@xxidontwikeitxx Hope you don’t mind being included, as you haven’t posted your work, but you ARE a writer, and I’m so happy you’ve recently started creating! Again, hope you don’t mind me saying, but I had the pleasure of reading your Marcus Pike blurb, and it’s was so soft and lovely. I really hope - when/if you’re comfortable- you decide share your work, and if not, I hope you keep enjoying the process! Would leave to read more from you in the future!

@shakespeareanwannabe is writing such a heartfelt Santi x OC story (find it here) with sublime characterisation of both Santi and Frankie, AS WELL AS seriously well-rounded and compelling OCs / supporting cast. This series is a key contributor for me falling down a Frankie rabbit role, and my First Dates fic likely wouldn’t exist without it! So excited for more!

Also shoutout to @ollypopp @milleniumvalcon @justrunamok @yourbucky084 who are delightful beings and whose writing I need to catch-up on!I look forward to it!

[heyitsmejona]

I am exited for Cantha and just got the new Skimmer mastery but don’t know what to do with it or myself - A GUIDE!

Hello fellow GW2-players! This is a guide for cool places you can explore with your Skimmer!

Requirements: 

You theoretically only need the Skimmer but to get the full experience you may also need the Springer (bunny) or any other mount you feel is appropriate. You can follow this guide alone but it may be more fun to do this in a group, as it is most likely you encounter a few difficult situations! If you want to make some money with it you need to bring a few gathering tools like sickle & pickaxe.

You can also only do most of the stuff if you have PoF and LW Season 3 & 4!! However, this guide has 15 steps in total and if you want to save money, the first 5 steps can be done without using waypoints. Don’t worry if you don’t have the map on your character yet, you can use tp to friend if a player of your party is on the map! Furthermore, I did not calculate the time needed to complete the guide but I would estimate it might take ~ 2 h if you’re fast and 3+ h if you are in a group and/or you want to complete everything!

Oh, and to all the roleplayers out there, this includes a few awesome places for some rp-sessions. 

DISCLAIMER: I am not accountable for any danger you get into or deaths that will happen to you!! Also this is a super super long post with visuals so I’ll hide the rest under the break!

If you’re ready: mount-up and let’s get into it!

Overview:

map

1. Bitterfrost Frontier:

Start from the Sorrow’s Eclipse WP and dive down! You’ll find a quaggan city and some corals! You can also loot all the chests gathered on the ice lake and maybe farm a bit of Winterberries if you feel like it. If you are finished you can leave through a portal to Frostgorge Sound and travel to the Earthshake WP and move on to the next step! 

2. Fireheart Rise:

On this map are two cool places! The first one is in Highland Thaw (upper left corner of the map), to reach it you have to start at the Rustbowl WP (Portal from Frostgorge Sound) and move up/north. You’ll find a lake with some underwater ruins and if you’re lucky a rich platinum vein. But be aware, there is sometimes a group event to kill an ice worm, at least 3-4 players are required to finish it.

The second place is further down on the map, you can travel to the Severed Breach WP and swim in dirty water and travel up/ north again until you reach a cool spot where some lava rivers hit the water. Looks really beautiful. Also, if you’re feeling extra fancy, there is one jumping puzzle and a hidden mini dungeon near the lake you can complete.

To reach the next destination leave the map over the Sati WP to the Iron Marches and travel south to the Dew Claw WP and leave the map.

3. Plains of Ashford:

Start from the Ascalon City WP and go east to Foefire’s Heart (poi) and if you glide down with your skimmer you’ll reach a blue cave with a cool hidden spot for some roleplaying!

To reach the next step, travel to Lion's Arch with the portal in the Black Citadel and go through a portal there to the Southsun Cove.

4. Southsun Cove:

Start from the Pearl Islet WP and go down/south to the beach where you can roleplay a bit and then move west to Sawtooth Bay where you will find some cool sunken ships and lots of sharks. Sometimes there even is a group event to kill a shark! Also a cool fun fact, you can enter the Privateer's Moorage and go down to the  cargo bay/the heart of the ship! Which is also a cool spot for some roleplaying as there are only some craps inside.

5. Rata Sum:

Go to the Port WP. There is nothing special in the water except some Triopen and weird electrical fishes but if you travel north you’ll reach a dam (wall) which you can climb onto with your Springer but be aware if you dare move further north you’ll land in Asura Jail, and I am not joking about that, try it out with your friends! To reach the jail like a normal person go to the Research WP and go north to the Peacemakers HQ where you can go down the stairs and you will enter the cell block of Rata Sum. Very cool for some roleplaying, if you are into that. (jk)

6. Draconis Mons:

Wow, have you ever wanted to swim in the sulphuric water of the volcano without dying? Now your time has come, mount-up and dive down. But not to deep or the game will threaten you with murder! You can start from the Mariner Landing WP and go wild. You won't see much anyways.

7. Ember Bay:

Start from the Promontory WP and travel south to the Sulfurous Deep, you’ll find a seaweed farm spot, some corals and if you feel like it, go farm some lotus on the nearby island/shore as well.

8. Malchor’s Leap:

There is much to explore here! It’s best if you start from the Lights WP and move west. You’ll find some cool statues from Malchor, an abandoned quaggan village, sunken ships and weird orrian architecture! Near the sunken ships is a group event where you have to kill a captain and her pet and in the big ship is something weird??? I haven't figured it out yet, but if you enter the bridge of the Harbinger (poi) there is like a veteran creature and some corpses swimming around, from there you can go deeper into the ship and you’ll find a door with some weird dialogue, idk man. Something cursed is going on there. Also The Harbinger has some cool lore, you can check out the Marriner Plaque on deck. If you move south from there you will find some weird swimming architecture and a group event with three bosses no one does, like ever.

9. Sirens Landing:

Okay, soo this one might be interesting for some of you! You can start from the Camp Reclamation WP and lo and behold, there are some shirtless Sylvari volunteers in the bay area! Yeah, moving on… you can find some orrian oysters and corals in the water and if you move east you’ll find The Buoyant Bough (poi) which has some nice plants on deck and if you put two and two together you’ll find some implied bouncing mushroom (HoT mastery) lore. Overall a good spot for some roleplaying! You can move up/north afterwards and do the jumping puzzle on the island, if you feel that's necessary. Otherwise there are more orrian oysters in the water and if you swim into the direction of the Choking Depths (what a cool name, you guys) you’ll find some very big and awesome sea urchins on the ocean floor!

10. Thunderhead Peaks:

Start from the Revolution’s Heart WP and move down to the Shattered Bay (poi in the bottom left corner), collect Volatile Magic and some Dragon Crystal Nodes on the way and if you finally reach the bay, there is a clam farming spot deep down in the water. From there you can move east to the Ice Floe and on the ground of the ocean you’ll find a seaweed farm. But be aware, both farming spots are guarded by some dangerous creatures.

11. Desert Highlands:

Start from the Brightwater WP and move west to the Transcendent Bay, if you have the Jackal portal mastery you can collect a chest in the giant vases, otherwise swim further east and you’ll find an underwater farming spot for clams!

12. Crystal Oasis:

Start from the Amnoon WP and take your Raptor on a walk and travel west to the harbor area, you can dive down and visit the old city of Amnoon, some sunken ships and a few corals. Afterwards swim south, you can make a stop at the swimming party boat for rich kids, do some roleplaying and move on. In the furthest bottom left corner of the map, like really far down you’ll find another clam farming spot. If you are lucky like me you’ll see a salomon and a shark fighting and a whale between the giant seagrass pillars. (Which was really beautiful, I cried a little bit.) And if you feel extra fancy and want to challenge yourself, you can climb on the weird cliff structure where the mastery point is. On top of the rocks are some Scarab Caches where you can get a Mini Scarab (small drop chance) if you’re lucky!

13. Domain of Vabbi:

You can start from the Market Ruins WP and move up/north or you follow the river down/south. Really far down in the south is a small chest, you tell me if it's worth it or nah. However, if you move up/north you can enter a cave right next to the red raid portal. The cave is super pretty and if you make it over a small wall you can enter a jumping puzzle of some sort, but there are super many branded elementals wandering around and at the end chest spawns a giant Volatile Magic man, whom you need to defeat for an achievement. (forgot which one though, sorry!) This one’s really dangerous, it's best if you do it with some friends. But I mean if you’re feeling especially daring like me you can do it alone too, I guess. I warned you though!

14. Domain of Kourna:

This one’s not really all that special, I just wanted to include it because I really like the meta on that map and would totally recommend it to you! I somehow like the map i.g., idk don’t question me. It’s best if you start from the Allied Encampment WP and follow the river and move down south, the water there is slimy but you’ll find some mussels on the shore! You can travel until you reach the bottom left corner where you’ll discover cute coelacanths swimming around and about. (Honestly, f*ck you Joko for polluting the water, have some Respect.)

15. Domain of Istan:

Phew, you have reached the last step! Start from the Champion’s Dawn WP and follow the river into the ocean. There is like a small empty fishing boat, cool, cool, great spot for some roleplaying. When you’re moving on, dive down to the ocean floor and travel further south until you reach Mehtani’s Blade, there is like an awesome anchor in the water, 10/10 would recommend. Also, more coelacanths in the water and in a much better and healthier environment. I am happy for them, this is what they deserve. Whoop, getting off track here, soo the bigger ship, the Mehtani’s Blade has some cool lore, you can speak to the ghost captain! (Also, a good inspiration for a character's story/backstory!) And to finish your trip on a good note, go west to the entrance of the Grotto of the Defeated where you can read some funny notes on the wall, really, go check them out!

Thank you for your attention, I hope you had lots of fun and discovered some new stuff in GW2!

[toastiiboi]

Comic/Webcomic Thing I’m Writing Part 3

CURRENT TIME: Final 8th Plate Reset, Plate Age Year 4026,Current Month/Day: Ouructbor, 5th  Fall was upon the small city of people in Kokaju Yoten, and trees were already starting to change.  Leaves flew through the air and cluttered the floors of everyone's surroundings.  In a particular part of town there living a group of Assassin's who lived by a strict code of honor.  Among these killers was a newbie named Kataken Toku, who was brought in after their master allowed such a young member to join them.  Truly it was out of respect for them to learn their ways, but also for the fact that he saw himself in that child.  Something special that could be changed into something incredible.  Something even he couldn't quite understand.  Regardless, Toku had a good life there, instead of living on the streets like a begger.  A life his mother lived, something he would never do again.  Especially after her death in the cold.

He grew up learning from other street children, or as most adults called them "The Lost".  For no one parent could foster children off the street in these dire times.  Though things did seem well, under the surface tensions were brewing between different families.  The Nashatomi's were one of the biggest families around, gardening respect from the lower families after 200 years of feuding and fighting, only for it all to come to an end.  A large man with skin stronger than leather and a black mask took out the head of the Nashatomi's with a single strike, using only their hand.  Such a display of power forced the other families who still did not defy the Nashatomi's to lead under them.  This new family?  The White Silver.

  They were hated notoriously for being outsiders who looked completely different from the normal bunch, but no one would formally disagree with anything they did.  Doing would would cost them their lives.  Using this power they started building labs and other strange buildings to continue their "Experiments", learning what they could from whatever it was that they were doing.  Nobody dared to ask them, so it was up in the air for a long time.  Their family was made up of 5 main members and a head, with the rest being either followers or supporters to their cause.  The boss is a long white haired person with a feminine body, and a very soft looking fox mask only known as "Moon".  Their two main body guards are a quite large burly man with the black mask and a lanky slender man, just a hair shorter than the other man, with bandages completely covering the top part of their head, only revealing the eye.  Below the two guards are the 3 main followers under Moon: the first being a scientist covering their face with a plank of wood, the second a musician with a large string instrument, and the third being a smaller person using a bag to cover the majority top part of their body.  None of them had names except Moon, for the sole purpose of showing how strong their convictions were as a family.  They only had to nod, and the others would follow without question.

During the time of their takeover people called it the "Great Blessing", for they were deceived by notions of grandeur.  False hopes that things would get better after the great famine 10 years ago.  People were desperate for anything, but Toku knew better.  He had seen times like this even before he had anything, and back then it wasn't better.  5 years passed, and as time went on so did the lives of those who lived in Yoten.  Though, it seemed things were not getting better.  People were dying daily in the streets from the lack of rations, babies were being miscarried and a plague was beginning to merge from the piles of corpses passing diseases to rats and other animals that would consume their flesh.  During the years Toku spent his time training and becoming better at the blade, using his sword in ways he would have never dreamed.  His master committed him to traveling away and learning from those that would teach him.  Learning ways to defend himself from several different blows, feeling the flow of the plates as he acquired new stances, and generally training his entire body.  With 5 years come and gone Toku had learned over 130 forms of fighting, his body battle hardened for the day he would take out the head of The White Silver.  Though upon returning to his home, it seemed he was away far too long.

Walking towards his masters hideout he couldn't help but gaze upon the dead and the hungry, all crowding the once at least living streets 5 years ago.  Reaching the house he taps a section of the wall to the side, pushing it inward and silently making his way inside.  His master retrofitted this place a long time ago to better fix their operations.  Upon walking into the house he was suddenly halted with embrace.  Happening so suddenly he almost fell over, but he kept his balance.  "Gerda...  I almost didn't recognize you, but you smell the same...  I'm sorry I-"  Suddenly out of nowhere a punch slams into his side, shaking his entire body.  He stopped talking and stared forward, looking upon the faces of the others that came forward.  "Shut up...  W-we thought you were-"  Gerda was cut off by a larger man just a couple feet from them, stepping forward with his palm raised.  "That will...  Be enough, Gerda."  He says, slowly lowering his hand as a sign of silence.  "We are glad to see you will, Toku.  Welcome home, fellow killer."  He says with a smile, placing a hand on Toku's shoulder.  Gerda slowly pulls away, sighing, scratching the back of her head.  "Y-yeah, welcome home, Toku."

Toku smiles, setting down his weapon onto the table beside them.  "I see you're well, old man.  But, I guess you gotta be, protecting this place and all, Gogetsu."  Toku says with a smile, walking towards the rest of the group.  "So...  What happened to this place while I was gone?  Why are there so many dead?  It looks like-"  The old man steps forward, sighing.  "Yes, just like what happened all those years ago in the cold.  It seems like we're going through the great famine all over again, but this time it's being controlled by one family."  Hearing those words Toku slams his fist onto the table, grabbing the edge.  "The White Silver.  Those bastards!!"  Gogetsu shakes his head, leading Toku and the rest into the next room.  "Do not be hasty, Toku.  I know you wish for action to be made, but..."  As they sit in a circle around a table Toku remains standing, bewildered.  "But, what?!  I'm stronger now!  I've trained with so many people that I-"  Another member raises their palm, silencing Toku.  "We know, Toku.  We sent you on a mission to train as we did with the others.  The same with Gerda.  But, you have not seen what they have done to the other families."  Toku stares at them, and then turns his attention to Gogetsu, confused.  "What...  Happened to the other families?"  For a second the old man thinks, drawing a way in his mind to explain what he had saw.  That terrible night.  That awful gruesome night.  "Hmmm...  Very well.  Listen close, for the rest of you have not seen it, but perhaps have heard rumors.  Regardless...  I will explain what I saw that night, 1 year ago."

I guess after 4 years of torment the other families decided to rebel.  They were tired of sharing the majority of their resources with nothing to get back in return. They wanted it, and The White Silver was raring for the taking.  At least...  That's what they thought."  Gogetsu continues, rubbing their chin through the follicles of their beard.  "The night they all decided to attack...  They drew their weapons and ignited flames around the mansion their targets were stationing in.  They were out for blood, and wanted  to do anything they could to get back what they thought was theirs.  Still, the moment they decided to charge the gate..."  He stops for a moment, calming his mind.  "...I was only watching from the shadows.  I could not endanger my flock with such a foolish attempt to take back control.  The first one that came out was the large burly man, and the second being the skinny man.  As people flung themselves at them to end it quickly one by one they were being slaughtered.  But that's the thing...  They weren't using weapons..."  Suddenly drops of sweat started falling from his face, hitting the table below.  "-They...  Used their hands, arms, legs...  Any part of themselves that they could fling at them...  They were monsters, slaughtering people without a care in the world.  Body parts flying, pieces of meat just hitting the floor, and all while it seemed that they were in a dance...  A dance of bloodlust and rampage.  Their motions ripping apart people as if they were nothing.  And...  At the height of the slaughter...  I saw them...  Standing at the top of the mansion...  Laughing and dancing in the moonlight.  Reflecting the very grounds being laid with the lives of men who wanted to live...  And by the end of it, there was nothing left..."

Those in the group who were not already informed could only but stare at their master, some even shaking.  "How is that possible...  Who could be that strong...? Y-you're saying...?"  Gogetsu nods his head slowly, staring back intently.  "Yes...  It seems we're dealing with something out of our comprehension.  Though I may not have acted on that night, I can still feel their cold gaze upon me...  Staring as if I was supposed to join them.  So, I'm setting a warning here, for everyone."  His hand firmly slams on the table, sending vibrations through everyone from the sheer force.  "What happens within the next couple days could determine the fate of everyone here, as well as everyone in this city."  With another motion Gogetsu's palm slides across the table, going to the center and pushes down upon a switch.  After doing so a collection of weapons appear from panels in the floor popping out.  "Use whatever weapons we have left to defend yourselves.  Whatever we are fighting...  What ever THOSE things are..."  Gogetsu stands up, grabbing a weapon from the floor.  "We can only survive being smart, thinking ahead of them.  We will not sleep until we can find a way to escape this city or kill them.  Is that understood?"  The group nods their heads, all silently taking in the information Gogetsu revealed.

The next few days were just as grim as their master predicted.  One by one people were being taken and sacrificed in front of the mansion, used as a warning all the others that still remained alive.  Their group was just as unlucky, with multiple people getting killed or taken in random parts of the city.  It seemed even trying to think of a strategy wasn't possible, let alone feasible against these people.  "Toku, we need to keep moving."  Gerda whispered, watching the corners and streets beyond them.  Toku nodded his head, slowly following behind her.  "I'm just wondering how many of us are still even alive right now."  She shakes her head and moves towards another roof, keeping out of sight while motioning towards her friend.  "I know, but come on, we're almost there..."  Toku sighs, following behind her slowly.  "Is this the place Gogetsu told us about?  The house between houses?"  He asks, watching around to make sure they weren't being followed.  "Yes, it used to be his fathers hideout until he died over 40 years ago...  Oh, come over here, I found the hatch."  She kneels down to the floor, rubbing the rocks away until lines start appearing.  With the help of Toku they both pull up the handle, climbing into the area below.  After dropping in they move into the next room, turning on the oil lamp on the way.  As the room illuminates the shadow of a person slowly comes into light, revealing a deep smile on a twisted face.  "How's it going, little fish?  I bet you didn't expect an ugly mug like myself to make their residence in this ol' fuck n' shack...  But hay, who's a guy like me to complain with nice couches like these, eh?"  Toku and Gerda stare confused, unsure who this random stranger was.  Though, they were sure he had an insanely dark aura of bloodlust around him.  Especially in those deep red eyes.

[citruspeel]

under cover [4/5?]

Kondo began to think that even gorillas were smarter than him. After all, who else would dare put - by their own hands - the undercover-courtesan-love-of-their-life and their love rival together in a steamy, compromising position?

-

[gintama fan fiction]

[gintoki x otae]

[2k++; part 4/5?]

intro + illustrations initially posted here part 1+2 here part 3 here

It took Kondo all he had to not tear his hair out.

 “Tottsan! What did I do to deserve this special kind of hell?!” he almost wailed, clutching at his boss’s coat.

Matsudaira calmly took a puff from his cigar, undeterred. “What’s the matter? Aren’t you an M? You should be enjoying this.”

“You definitely took it the wrong way!”

In the cramped surveillance van, Kondo’s protests sounded louder than they actually were. The smoke from Matsudaira’s cigar was also an unwelcome distraction. Yamazaki tried to cough into his hand as silently as he could; why did the supreme boss of the police force have to be in there with them in the first place? Wasn’t this job a bit too…low-scale for him to be present?

 “I was in the area,” he answered, when Kondo asked him. “I thought, why not? Besides, it’s like a live show.”

Kondo’s eyes widened. “Live show?!”

The older man only snickered as his eyes went from monitor to monitor. Once Kondo realized there was no getting a straight answer from their boss, he slumped onto the seat next to Yamazaki.

Before them were a set of screens, showing what was happening in different areas of the house. One monitor showed the Yorozuya’s little girl dressed as an apprentice and hiding in a secret closet on the second floor. Another showed Shinpachi clothed in black, hiding behind a set of crates and an airconditioning unit in the alley beside the house. Okita was concealed in a false wall on the back of the bedroom, while Hijikata was camped out on the building across the back entrance. Gintoki, now with sleek black hair and donning simple Edo-style clothes, was standing by the front foyer, sword in hand.

Yamazaki watched with wonder as the Yorozuya buried his face in his hands. In another monitor, their stunning Crimson Beauty of Kabuki-cho was doing the same.

“Eh, this is strange,” Yamazaki pointed out. Kondo stopped his grumbling and looked. “They’re both acting weird, Chief.”

“Look at her, she’s so beautiful,” Kondo ignored Yamazaki and placed his hand on the monitor, as if touching Tae’s face. “Otae-san, I will give all of my life savings to buy you out of this wretched city –”

He was abruptly cut off when one of their receivers buzzed.

“Target just entered the perimeter. Contact in ten minutes.”

The surveillance team eyed the monitors. True enough, by the shadows of Kabuki-cho’s sidestreets, two cloaked men were making their way to the house.

Kondo and Yamazaki watched the monitors intently.

“Why do they keep shaking their heads?” Yamazaki noted, glancing at Gin and Tae. He then pressed a button on the panel, activating their communication. “Kagura-san, please notify Shimura-san to get ready. Contact in ten.”

“Got it, Mountain Zaki!”

“Operation, commence. Be on your guard.” Kondo took over the microphone. “Especially you, Yorozuya. You as much as try – ”

Hijikata groaned. “Chief, you’re going off-topic here.”

“Right.” Kondo laughed sheepishly. He shot a nervous glance towards Tae, who was now calming herself down with deep breaths. He tried fighting against this assignment, but Matsudaira had pushed that it was crucial for them to do it this way. His stupid mouth suggested Tae’s beauty would be a perfect fit. In essence, he somehow put her in that position.

Plus, there was really no way to say no to Tottsan.

“Ah, she’s a good one, isn’t she?” he heard the boss say. “All calm even if we didn’t give her a comm set.”

“It might get discovered and compromise the mission,” Kondo said. “If she can hear what’s going on, it might affect her acting.”

“True enough.” Matsudaira took another puff, eyes gleaming behind his sunglasses.

Kondo’s eyes roved all over the screens. The two hooded figures were making their way steadily past the crowds and into the quieter streets.

“Tottsan,” Kondo started, “Shouldn’t you tell us at least the name of the target by now? Your briefing for this mission was the vaguest we’ve ever gotten.”

Matsudaira took a moment before responding. “Just trust me. I had an…interesting chat with a loud, drunk idiot at Club Smile. He gave me an idea.”

Kondo frowned. Tae was now smoothing down her oiran kimono as she settled by the door, where she would bow once the target came in. “Should we really trust loud, drunk idiots?”

“You’re not drunk, but you’re a loud idiot and I trust you, don’t I?” Matsudaira smirked as he hung the cigar on his lips. “Besides, he wears sunglasses, just like me. Can’t go wrong with sunglasses.” 

He ignored Kondo, who was about to protest once again.

“Anyway, all you need to know is that he’s an enemy of the state. A pretty crafty bastard, so we needed to get crafty too.”

“Target contact in three minutes.” Yamazaki spoke up. “Sakata-san, please ignore our liaison agent. He’ll stay on the first floor as the target goes to the site. Don’t make eye contact until given the go-signal.”

On the monitor, Gin gave a nod of acknowledgment.

The two figures were already near the house. A heavy feeling started to settle itself in Kondo’s stomach. Even through the monitor, their target gave off a sinister vibe.

“Target on site. Now ascending.”

Each step the target took felt like an added weight to Kondo. There was something very bad about this, his gut told him, and he couldn’t shake it off. He kept his eyes transfixed on the hooded figure, now on the second floor, just a few steps away from Tae’s dimly-lit receiving room.

The target stopped. He seemed to be deep in thought as he gave a second glance to the stairwell. Kondo watched with bated breath as the figure shook off whatever thought he had and went back to going towards Tae’s room. Gingerly, the target took off its cloak.

As the hood fell away, Kondo felt all the air being knocked out of his lungs.

He could barely speak. “Tottsan -- !”

Even Yamazaki gasped. “Chief, this is bad – ”

“You never would have agreed if you knew.” Matsudaira said matter-of-factly. The end of his cigar glowed bright red as he pulled from it.

“But this…” Yamazaki managed. He eyed the comm system button. Should he warn everyone, at least?

He glanced their Chief, but Kondo’s eyes were wide in shock as he watched the monitors. The figure was now standing right before the room’s shoji doors, his silhouette a dark shape against its paper panels.

Matsudaira clucked his tongue. He could see Kondo’s clenched fist on the dashboard. “If you compromise this mission, Kondo, your agent will bear the brunt of it.” He said plainly, both a warning and advice.

Kondo’s knuckles turned white. He took a deep breath, then nodded to himself. “No one would compromise this mission.”

Matsudaira blew out the smoke in a steady stream. Behind the haze, he seemed like he was grinning. “Right? That’s why we got them, after all.”

 -

The stillness of the house was unnerving. Especially whenever she remembered that most formidable fighters in Edo were stationed around it, not making a sound.

She tried to stop her face from showing any emotion whenever she remembered it. Shinpachi, who usually bawled over Otsu and screamed through his straight-man routines; bubblegum-chewing Okita-san who never stopped arguing with noisemaker extraordinaire Kagura; Hijikata-san, who told everyone off to commit seppuku no matter when and where - they were all still and silent, expertly hidden from view. It made her smile with pride, but also made her realize just how drastically they could change when combat was imminent.

Aren’t you leaving someone out?

Her own personal bodyguard, as Kagura had put it, was the most disconcerting of them all.

Stupid perm-head.

Tae sighed and placed her hands before her knees. In this atmosphere, it was hard not to remember that night. It was harder not to remember how normal he acted the day after. The next morning, he was calmly picking his nose by the breakfast table, all splayed out, watching the TV with his head resting on a propped-up hand. Upon her entrance, he merely threw her a glance, flicked the snot off his finger, and greeted her with a lame ‘yo.’ He was so nonchalant about it, she was almost convinced that the night before was just a dream.

From then on, there was no mention of their kiss. He joked with her the same, talked to her brother the same, never talked to her about what happened, nor did anything to even hint at what they had done. The idea of bringing it up suddenly felt forbidden. It came to a point where Tae started to doubt herself. Was she really overreacting? Maybe he saw kisses as commonplace as hugs. Was she alone in feeling that electricity when they kissed? Maybe because it was her first that she added meaning to it immediately. And why did he stop? She wasn’t born yesterday; she had seen people kissing deeply before. If his point was to teach her, he should’ve at least shown her how to do that. But he merely walked off and acted like it never happened. Maybe the reason he didn’t bother with her was that he was never really interested in her at all.

Tae bit back a groan of frustration. Could it have been that she was the one at fault? Was it her problem, that deep inside her, somehow, she entertained the idea of wanting something more…? 

This is stupid. As weeks rolled by, Tae fought hard to convince herself to stop obsessing about that moment. A kiss with Gin-san wasn’t even a moment to be proud of, was it? But she couldn’t help but feel guilty whenever she saw Sarutobi, Tsukuyo, Kondo and even Kyuubei. It’s as if she had sinned against them, and it was a sin she wasn’t particularly ashamed of. That night, with his dazed look, his warm lips, that soft kiss…for her to remember it so vividly, surely it was no dream.

Thud.

The noise brought Tae out of her thoughts. The target was ascending the stairs; whatever light came from the laps by the hallway was now beginning to be eclipsed by a figure of a man. She took a deep breath to calm herself down.  This is no time to think about Gin-san.

The figure stopped in front of her shoji door, his silhouette a stark mark against the panels. She steeled herself and bowed; soon enough, the doors slid open, wood creaking against wood.

Tae pressed her forehead on her hand in a deep bow.

“Good evening, danna,” She spoke in the meekest voice she could muster. “I am pleased to be of service to you tonight. They call me Hinagiku.”

It took a while before the target replied.

“I hear they call you The Crimson Beauty. …it would seem that they tell no lies.”

“A mere moniker, danna.” Tae then rose from her bow, her kimono gracefully following her every move. She gave a soft nod and looked the target in the eye. Her breath stilled. “But it pleases me to hear your worries have been quelled.”

The target cocked his head to the side and closed the shoji door behind him. “Might be so,” he said, taking a step nearer.

Tae swallowed a lump in her throat. The target was leagues away from what they had all expected. She had been anticipating some old, wrinkly politician, or a potbellied corrupt yakuza, or even a hybrid Amanto pirate. Katsura and the others were even taking bets. But the man who stood before her was different – too different. He had a slender build, covered in kimonos of rich purple, red, and gold. Soft, dark hair framed his youthful face. The only thing that would raise questions were the bandages that covered his left eye. They were wound around his head, slightly hidden by his fringe, strangely reminding her of Kyuubei, Gin, and war. 

“How do you wish to be called, danna?”

He crossed the room slowly, taking every step mindfully. Tae found that she couldn’t take her eyes off him; something about him was magnetic.

“If you really must…” he then deposited himself by the slightly opened window. The lights of Kabuki-cho shone on his face and made his remaining eye gleam. “…Shinsuke would be fine.”

-

[Part 5 here] 

[glutko]

My current, incomplete Hotel Mario speedrun strats

In case you want to try your luck at a speedrun. I’ll update these if I find better strats (or actually finish a run of this game).

First, I wanna lay out the controls of Hotel Mario. They’ll help you understand the strats better.

D-Pad: Movement. Pressing Up near an open door/elevator will make Mario enter it. Pressing Down will make Mario crouch or exit an elevator/door if he’s in one.

Button 1: Jumping. This button also controls the elevators, moving Mario up or down floors.

Button 2: Open/close doors.

Once the Fire Flower’s obtained, Buttons 1 + 2 can be pressed to make Mario/Luigi shoot a fireball.

I also want to explain a few mechanics.

Power Mushrooms allow Mario to take an extra hit.

Fire Flowers allow Mario to throw fireballs. They only appear once Mario has a Power Mushroom. Note that if a Fire Flower is on the screen, and Mario gets hit and loses his Power Mushroom, he can still collect the Fire Flower like normal.

Coins are useless. They give you an extra life once you collect 30, but the game has near-infinite continues, so just ignore them.

Starmen do exist, but I’m still trying to work them into the run.

Other than being hit by an enemy or hazard, Mario can die from falling off the sides of the map, running out of time, or having all of the doors opened.

Be wary of jumping! If you don’t time your jumps right, you could hit an enemy on the floor above you!

Alright, onto the strats. I’m going to skip covering Levels 1-1, 1-3, and 1-5 because you don’t have to do anything special in them. Just close all the doors and kill all of the enemies. Why? Because the enemies can open them, and that can lead to time loss. QED.

In Level 1-2, there’s an easy Power Mushroom you can obtain. Clear Floors 4-5 and head up to Floor 3. Once the timer hits 175, the Mushroom will spawn to the right of the leftmost door. Grab it! It’s important for later.

Clear Floors 2-5 of Stage 1-4 like normal. Once you get to the top floor, make your way to the closed door (the one on the far left), and open it. A Fire Flower will spawn out of the open door next to it. Grab that too! Now you can stomp your way through the levels.

On Stage 1-6, ignore the doors and make a mad dash for the top floor. Kill any enemy that gets in your way. Once you get to Floor 1, kill the enemies and make your way over to the rightmost door (it should be open). Enter it, and you’ll be warped to the third Hotel, Larry’s Chillton Hotel!

Before I cover Chillton, there’s a few things you should know about this Hotel;

The floors are really slippery, and you can easily fling yourself into an enemy.

Enemies can spawn out of open doors. Be careful!

You can bump into the walls without falling off the map. Very useful.

Okay, Stage 3-3 is simple. Close all the doors. The elevators don’t go in a straight up/down path, and the turtles can make jumping hard, but it should be easy if you did the Flower strat. If you lose your Fire Flower, there’s a backup strat you can do in the next level...

This one! In this level, Monty Moles spawn at random, and they’re a right pain in the ass. They can open doors, launch themselves at the elevators (a place that the Koopas generally avoid), and jump and hit Mario through the floor. Thankfully, the elevators are straightforward in this level, and you should be able to clear it out with enough practice.

As for that Fire Flower strat, it’s on the top floor. Once you clear the enemies out, make your way to the far right and jump around the score counter. If done right, you should get a Fire Flower!

Level 3-5 is a cakewalk; kill the enemies on the top floor (where you start), and walk over to the door. Enter it and you’ll be warped to the 8th stage of the sixth Hotel, Wendy’s Blitz Snarlton Hotel!

Unfortunately, this is where my current strats end. Wendy’s Hotel is incredibly difficult, with the main problem being her Pennies. They’re fast, hard to hit with the Fire Flower, and are all over the floors, making jumping highly difficult. There is a way to get rid of them, but it’s on Stage 5! So you can’t, sadly.

Here’s a few tips I can give you about Wendy and Bowser’s hotels;

Starting with Wendy, the rest of the levels have two parts to them. Once you clear the first part and enter a certain elevator on the top floor, the camera pans up to the second part, and the timer resets.

The elevators change direction every few seconds, indicated by a “ding!” sound. Thankfully, this only happens in Wendy’s Hotel.

Enemies can come out of closed doors now. Really great!

Wendy’s boss fight is easier than the levels before her.

Bowser’s Hotel is easier than Wendy’s. Sure, it’s plenty difficult, but at least it doesn’t have those goddamned Pennies.

Also, Bowser has 15 levels total (there’s ten in a normal hotel).

Finally, there’s timings. The splits start when NEW is selected on the title screen (for 1 Player). I do my splits by Hotel, and hit my split key when Mario enters the warps (or, in Wendy’s case, when he closes all the doors in Level 6-10). Timer ends when all doors are closed in Level 7-15 (Bowser’s Barbecue Room).

Now go! Speedrun Hotel Mario if you dare!

[fuckyourlist-blog]

15 Irrational Fears ‘All’ Guys Have In Relationships (According To These Three Guys Who Fucked A Microwaved Banana Peel)

Relationships, ah that old song and dance we’re all forced to endure if we ever hope to sneeze our dick gravy into a welcoming hole and birth a small version of ourselves. Why are they so hard though? Why are they so hard in particular for men? As women, we grow up completely entitled to our Disney prince, one who lets us eat from their plate of fries, one who will buy us tampons AND insert them, one who will hold our hair back while we’re throwing up on the penis of the man who is cucking him. 

So why are relationships LITERALLY the n word of social interaction? “How do talk to laaaady” grunts the primitive man as he drags his knuckles off the floor just long enough to yell at the burning sky egg in exasperation.

Well, we decided to ask three guys whose first and last sexual encounter was fucking a microwaved banana peel for the top 15 reasons why they’re too scared to slam down on some gash, rather than a warm hollowed out fruit.

1. She Will Use His Vulnerability Against Him

The problem is, men are like video game bosses. They have glowing spots on them you’re meant to drive a knife into for them to lose hit points. Shit, it’s NO WONDER they are terrified of showing this to women, they probably didn’t get to pick up the first aid kit in the barrel on the first level, and will be absolutely FUCKED into a black hole of weeping and silence if you expertly aim the knife of “I don’t know what I want for dinner but let’s avoid KFC because you’re getting a bit thicc” at him. Poor fella.

2. She Will Change After Marriage

It’s completely ok if he changes into a complacent sentient garbage bag after you marry, but don’t you DARE think of unzipping your back skin and crawling out to reveal the shrieking ballbusting demon you really are. I swear to god if you don’t remain as the fun loving party girl he fell in love with at 19 (before you realised he was obsessed with Magic:The Gathering) then I will turn this damn car around.

3. She'll Ask Him What He's Thinking...

Bitch are you cray cray?! who said communicating was a part of this?! Don’t worry your pretty little head though, just put your mouth back where it belongs (back on his dick).

4. She Will Turn Out To Have Ulterior Motives

Such as falling in love with him when he wanted to spend his life exclaiming how much of a shitbag undeserving of love he is. You’re going off script! You might push him into having a feeling! Once again, this is on YOU. You’re the only one who could do wrong here or have something up your sleeve. Not him. Because banana peels don’t chew him out for leaving stained underwear on the couch.

5. She Will Blackmail Him Into Doing What She Wants By Threatening Divorce

Because 4 points in and 10 minutes into your first date you’re wet enough to host an Olympic swimming team, and he’s skipped past marriage and right to how you’ll fuck him over in divorce. You wonder how long he spent thinking of the good times before jumping this far ahead, it was zero long, his brain just went right here. Ask him what he’s thinking right now and he’ll respond “If I saw our children in half do we have to do a custody battle?” and a laugh track will play because this is actually some dumb shit.

6. She Will Not Come Back Home One Day

When you come home from work it’s cute when a pet comes running up to you because they’ve missed you and are glad you’re home. To be fair, their concept of a ‘year’ is different to ours, and yet they still keep their proverbial shit together. Men like this though? They’ll make themselves unemployed so they can sit in a darkened room peeking from behind a curtain down the driveway. Every minute it inches closer to your usual home time his heart races faster. He pees a little, tears swell in his eyes, and at 5.29pm he slowly begins to close the scissor blades on your sexiest pair of underwear. How dare you do this to him. 

7. He Will Find Out That She Was Comparing Him To Her Last Boyfriend

Who gives a shit. I compare cups of coffee from different cafes and I assure you coffee has provided me with more comfort and warmth than a great number of my relationships. It’s not that I’m comparing you to ex boyfriends, I’m comparing you to a $4 cup of coffee that I still think about, unlike you.

8. He Will Wake Up And Realize He Doesn't Like Her Anymore

Notice once again how this one is about how she has undesirable qualities. Women never wake up and decide men are terrible. Never. Because they’re the best and if it weren’t for the scientific law of queues we’d be fighting each other to slurp down your balls daily. I mean, aside from that nobody has any agency to just walk away, it’s impossible. We’re referred to as the ‘ole ball and chain’ because we literally are weighing them down to the floor, and they skipped leg day.

9. He Will Be Financially Ruined By Divorce

From Scrooge McDuck to Scrooge McCuck

10. She Will Leave Him For Someone Richer

...From Scrooge McCuck to Scrooge McDuck

Ah, it’s the circle of life. Just like Simba said but not in the bit where his dad dies. We all know Mufasa killed himself cos bitches ain’t shit anyway.

11. They Will Have A Child Who Needs Extra Special Care

If this list has demonstrated one thing it’s that men hate competition.

12. He Will Go From Happily Single To Unhappily Committed

As we all know, happily single men definitely frequent toxic subreddits revolving around how to interact with women. Happily single men totally post online feverishly wanting to know whether a woman being nice to them wants to skin them and live in their flesh in a sexy way. Happily single men send dick photos to strangers for validation. Happily single men were not the people being asked this. They will be unhappy no matter what because at no point have they understood that happiness in a relationship (or outside of a relationship) is LARGELY about them and their own demonstrable value. A woman or man cannot turn your world into a happy fun filled existence unless you put in the work on YOURSELF. 

People like this see commitment as a swear word because they want to keep being able to fuck their way through people who will not add anything of worth to their lives, to self destruct and self abuse without punishment.

13. She Will End Up Pregnant Unexpectedly

Well it’ll be unexpected for one of you. While you were studying the blade, we were doing a handstand in the bathtub pouring a used condom into us.

Birth control definitely isn’t a choice that involves two parties. It’s entirely on the woman to ensure her vagina infested with evil doesn’t clamp down on your dick during those final moments of intercourse and force your balls empty into her uterus. Did you know when this happens we also steal one of your superpowers?

14. She Will Turn Out To Be A Worn Out Shell

This is blatant miseducation. When this happens, guys, you just need to go find us in our jelly form hanging out on the couch waiting for our new shell to harden. Don’t worry! We’re certainly not worn down to an internally crying husk because you’re a dreadful example of humanity, we’re just molting. 

15.They Will Be The Family The Neighbors Gossip About

“Hey honey check it out, that rich brooding manchild is banging his withered old bitch out in the poolhouse again, while leaving their handicapped son to play with a sanding belt unattended.”

“Oh weird, I thought they were getting a divorce?”

[nsfwsportsanimebabes]

Scaring Me

Part two: Bokuto

Requested: yes.

Description: Bokuto and his s/o get into a fight. He gets pissed and punches the wall, scaring her.

You frowned and slumped farther into your seat. Bokuto was supposed to be here an hour ago. You guys planned to have a date night in. You cooked a real nice dinner, picked out some favorite movies, made his favorite desert, even got all dressed up yourself. Now you were sitting around waiting for him. You tried calling him but got no answer. You perked up when you heard the apartment door open. Bokuto walked in, dropping his gym bag by the door. This wasn’t the first time something like this happened.

“Why are you all dressed up?” He asked with a chuckle and confused face.

“Are you serious?” You asked in shock.

He simply frowned. “Yes? Why?”

You glared at him. “We were supposed to have a night in together. Remember? we were gonna have a romantic dinner and watch some movies.”

Bokuto perked up at that. “Wait, that was tonight?”

“Yes it was tonight!” you shouted. “I made a nice big dinner, you favorite dessert, and even dressed up!”

“Shit babe.” Bokuto started.

“Don’t you ‘babe’ me!” You cut off. “I can’t believe you forgot. This was supposed to be a special night for us! And you what? Decided a long workout was better than coming home?”

“Hey now, don’t be like that.” Bokuto frowned.

“No! I will be however I want. I am so glad that I rank so low on the list of things that are important to you.”

“Hey! You know that is not true!” Bokuto raised his voice slightly. “You are the most important thing to me and I am going to make up for this.” You simply rolled your eyes, not believing him. “This Saturday we are going out. I am gonna take you out to that fancy restaurant you have always wanted to try. You are gonna get all dressed up and I am gonna take you out and spoil you.”

“Sure you are.” You sigh monotone. “Thought you have a volleyball practice this Saturday?”

“I will be home by 3 at the latest.” He scoffed. “I promise babe. I swear up and down. I will take you out. I will make reservations in the morning even. I want to see you all dolled up and ready to go by 6 this Saturday.”

“Alright. I believe you.” You smiled softly. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Saturday morning you woke up to an empty bed. Bokuto must have left early this morning. You went into the kitchen to find a note on the counter.

“Good morning babe! Sorry I left before you got up. I just wanted to get a few things done for tonight. I won’t see you until this afternoon. I’m going to the gym before volleyball. I left some extra money in your purse though. Go treat yourself babe! Also I made pancakes and bacon. They are in the oven to stay warm. Love ya!”

You smiled at the note. He really was putting a lot of effort into making sure this was a special day. Maybe you were a bit harsh the other night. You decided you would go out and buy a new outfit for tonight. Maybe even a little something special to go under the outfit. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You glanced at the clock as you worked on getting ready. It was already 430. Bokuto should be back by now. You tried to shrug it off. He still had plenty of time. You decided to take a nice relaxing bath instead of a shower. That would help ease your mind. 

By the end of your bath, he still wasn’t home. You frowned and went about getting more done. You really were going all out. You painted your nails before your bath. Afterwards you used a lotion you knew Bokuto liked to make your skin all soft. Next was going to be your hair. It would take the longest. 

You finished your hair, curling it and fixing into a fun half updo. You also got your makeup completely done, going for a classic look with winged eyeliner and red lips. You looked at the clock. 5:30. He should be here by now. You had to leave in half an hour! You sent him a quick text asking him what was going on but got no reply. You decided to finish getting ready. Perhaps he was gonna show up ready? You slipped into your new lingerie set and then put on your new dress. It was a black sleeveless dress with lace overlaying it. The dress fabric had a sweetheart neckline but the lace went all the way up to the start of your neck. It cut off a couple inches above your knees. You paired it will a set of red pumps and a red clutch. You glanced in the mirror loving your look. You couldn't wait to go out and show it off. You sat on the couch with your favorite book wile you waited for Bokuto. It wouldn’t be long. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

He forgot. It was now eight o’clock and you had yet to see him or hear from him. You had been ditched again. Just as your turned to storm into your room, the main door flew open. An out of breath Bokuto came flying in. You could tell from the look of panic on his face that he knew he mistake. 

“Shit babe.” He started but you cut him off.

“Save it. I don’t want to hear your lame excuse.” You huffed. “I’m going to bed.”

“Come on.” He sighed. “Can we just talk for a minute?”

“You wanna talk?” You spun on your heel to face him. “Okay then lets talk. Let’s talk about how many times you have forgotten the plans we have, how many times I have gone to bed before you got home, or how many times I have woke up to find you gone. We could talk about how many times I have rescheduled things because they don’t fit your volleyball schedule, just for me to have to change it again. How many things have we missed out on because of your stupid volleyball shit?!”

“Hey! You knew when this relationship started that volleyball was important to me. Don’t act like that is something new. You didn’t have a problem with it before.” He became defensive. 

“Because we were in high school!” You shouted. “We were kids. It didn’t matter if a sport controlled your whole life then! We are adults now! Yet you still spend three fourths of your day at the gym or with volleyball. I know it is your career now. But I doubt all those other players spend that much time there. I am sure they go home and spend time with their family.” You paused and took a step back. “Oh god. Are you cheating on me?” 

Bokuto glared at you. “Did you just fucking accuse me of cheating?”

You shook your head. “You are aren’t you? That’s why you are never home. or why you never care to see me. You found someone else!” 

Bokuto was suddenly towering over you. “Don’t you dare fucking accuse me of cheating on you!” His voice boomed. “Do you honestly think so low of me that you think I would do something like that to you?! Have I sunk that low?!” You didn’t answer, suddenly scared of Bokuto for the first time. “Just because I am not making my day revolve around your and your fucking needs for affection. Have you ever stopped to consider that maybe I have stuff going on? No. You are just upset that you are not the center of my attention right now.” 

Bokuto never before spoke so harshly to you. You could feel the tears threatening to break loose.  You pushed him away and darted into the bathroom, locking the door.  You heard him punch the wall near the door. You turned on the shower so that he would not be able to hear you cry. You sat on the floor, knees to chest and let it out. For the first time ever, you were actually afraid of him. You looked at your phone, half tempted to call Akaashi to come get you but also not wanting to drag him into the mess. 

After a few minutes there was a hesitate knock on the door. You held your breath, as if you were afraid he could hear it over the shower. 

“I’m sorry. Please just....just come talk to me please.” He sounded desperate. You sat there unsure. “I didn’t mean what I said. Come on babe. I know you aren’t in the shower. Just talk to me.”

You turned off the shower. “Fine. I will talk to you. But I am staying in here.” You weren’t quite ready to go out there.

“That’s fair.” You heard him sigh. “I didn’t mean what I said. I shouldn’t have yelled at you like that. I am sorry babe. I know there is no reason I should act like that towards you. I have just been stressed out.”

“Why?” You croaked.

“We have championships coming up, you know. And that itself adds some pressure. But a couple of our best players are talking about leaving. And I heard my boss talking about what to do with me. I don’t know what is going on. I figured if I just worked extra and put in a lot more time and effort that if it was something bad he would rethink it.”

“You could’ve just told me.”

“I know. And I should have. I am sorry that I didn’t. I just didn’t want to worry you. I was so excited to take you out tonight. I was going to spoil you and get to spend some much needed time with you. Plus I was going to finally relax. Coach wanted the practice to go later and all the other guys were for it. I was nervous to not agree. Then they had a meeting and work outs. I didn’t notice the other guys leaving or the time. I just noticed that the coach was constantly keeping an eye on me. I am so sorry baby. Please believe me.” 

You sighed and finally opened the bathroom door. He was standing right there, eyes red from unshed tears. You wrapped your arms around him and sighed when you felt his arms tighten around you. “I am sorry I accused you of cheating. I should’ve tried talking to you.”

“It’s not your fault babe. I should be more considerate. I promise I will fix this. You are always the most important thing to me.” He kissed your forehead. “It’s not too late to go out you know. The restruant is open until eleven.” 

You grinned up and him and felt your heart flutter to see his classic grin on his face.

[robininthelabyrinth]

Countless Roads - Chapter 4

Fic: Countless Roads - Chapter 4 - Ao3

Fandom: Flash, Legends Pairing: Gen, Mick Rory/Leonard Snart, others

Summary: Due to a family curse (which some call a gift), Leonard Snart has more life than he knows what to do with – and that gives him the ability to see, speak to, and even share with the various ghosts that are always surrounding him.

Sure, said curse also means he’s going to die sooner rather than later, just like his mother, but in the meantime Len has no intention of letting superheroes, time travelers, a surprisingly charming pyromaniac, and a lot of ghosts get in the way of him having a nice, successful career as a professional thief.

A/N: This is a new chapter (chapter 5 on Ao3) 

———————————————————————————-

The first time it happens, it's – kind of funny, actually. In retrospect, anyway.

"Don't you dare touch him," Mick growls from where he's standing by the door, glaring at where they’ve got Len all tied up. They being some Santini Family assholes who hired Len and Mick for a small job - nothing big, the main guy said, just need it done quick, don't want to get the Family name involved - and then decided they didn't feel like paying some freelancers for work they apparently should've been doing themselves. Sadly for them, Len's just smart enough not to have brought the goods with him and had no intention of giving said goods up until they coughed up the cash for them.

Damnit, Len hates Family jobs. They shouldn't have taken it, he knows that, but it'd been such an easy job...

"And what exactly are you planning to do about it?" the main Santini asshole drawls, smug and confident now that he's got his people with him.

"You'll touch him over my dead body," Mick says.

"Fine," the mobster sneers, and shoots Mick dead in the chest, the force of it making Mick stagger backwards and fall down to the floor.

"You fucking little – " Len shouts from the chair he's been tied to, eyes wide with terror, worried half to hell because he has no idea what happens when you make a ghost as solid and real as he's made Mick and then that stupid ghost goes and gets himself shot.

"Enough!" Santini snaps. "Or you're going to get a bullet yourself, Mr. Snart – "

"I told you," Mick rasps, and the entire room turns to look to see him standing back up. Mick makes a big production out of it, too, dragging his limbs up like he's in pain, like his joints are creaking, clutching at his chest, but he gets up, eyes fixed on Santini. "You'll touch him over my – dead – body –"

Santini shoots, but Mick takes a step forward. Another shot, another step.

The third bullet clicks to an empty chamber, and Santini just breaks, turning tail and running, each and every one of his men with him.

"You okay?" Len asks the second the last one is gone. He knows ghosts don’t feel things the way the living do, but he’s given Mick a lot of life over the years…

"Huh? Oh, yeah, sure, I’m good. Stings like a Lisa special, nothing worse than that."

Lisa had once expressed her frustration with Mick by squeezing a lemon at him when he'd just cut his hand open in the kitchen and had been bleeding a little - more out of habit than anything else. Mick is never going to let her live it down.

"But you're okay?"

"All good, boss."

Len shakes his head, starting to grin. "Well," he says, biting his lips to keep from laughing. "Guess now they know you meant it about it being over your dead body."

Mick snorts.

The next time, they try shooting Mick in the head.

Of course, that doesn't work either - Mick confirms that lots of life or not, dead men don't feel pain the same way the living do, so it's all the same to him - but it does bring up some logistical issues.

Mick wisely plays dead until Len gets them to go away, because there's reputation and then there's revelation, and the whole gang that tried it unanimously flip their lids in a most satisfying way the next time Len walks in, Mick trailing behind him, same as always, and both of them playing dumb as rocks about the whole alleged – it's their new favorite word after a stint in prison and the justice system - the whole alleged murder thing.

Len's gotten Mick some damn fine fake papers, too, so the Fed threw them into the same prison, too. It was a learning experience.

Not one Len's all too eager to repeat. Mick got into fight after fight on Len's behalf, even with Len felling a few overly touchy guys personally. Next time, he's going to send Mick floating out the wall and get a quicker exit that way.

Mick's quasi-solid virtually all the time now, which Len likes. People think he's a living person, which in fairness is probably why they try to kill him.

Len's pretty sure he's doing the ghost thing wrong, that he's not supposed to give a ghost another life like this, a life made out of his own life, but he figures if he really wasn't supposed to do this, he wouldn't be able to use his feelings about Mick for the extra boost he needs to keep him solid so often.

Love really is the most powerful force. Who woulda thought it?

Other than literally the entire literary world, anyway.

Len still doesn't like it when Mick 'dies', though, whether the cause is an angry mobster or a hail of police bullets, so he starts doubling down on his plans, working on them all day and night so that they don't go wrong and Mick isn't called upon to protect him.

"You know it doesn't hurt me, right? Not really?" Mick asks from the poker game he's set up with a handful of friendlies: the nun who's waiting to see her last student graduate, the thirteen year old who died in a car accident on the way to hear his favorite band, the prostitute that got killed by a serial killer (Len's working on IDing the bastard in his spare time), and a grandmother with wicked children who wouldn't let her see her grandkids.

Grandmother or not, Sun-hui is kicking everyone's asses as usual. Tyrice is staring at her with an expression of awe – Len's got the feeling that the kid's going to be moving on pretty soon if he can convince Sun-hui to attend that concert with him.

(Len underestimates exactly zero of his friendlies - sure, they protect him from the unquiet dead, but Tyrice has a tendency to cause accidents on the street corner where he'd died and Sister Bea has a way of guarding her church schoolkids from trouble that includes nearly giving them heart attacks when they start to do something she considers stupid.)

"I know it don't hurt you," Len replies, not for the first time. "Makes me all queasy, though."

"Awwwww," Daniela says. “You’re such adorable snugglekins.”

"Shut up."

"Find the guy that beat my face in, and I will."

"I'm working on it!"

"Len – " Mick starts.

"Mick, if it makes you feel better, you can think about it as me not wanting to go back to jail, okay? If no one catches us, there's no problem."

"Fine, fine."

"Your plans are getting much better," Sun-hui says approvingly. "You leave very little trail behind you, like a ghost."

"Aw, thanks," Len says, grinning at her. He would never have understood Sun-hui in life, due to the language barrier that vexed her, but the dead all speak the same language.

He's not entire sure what language that is – he's pretty sure it ain't actually English – but that's what he knows, so he hears it in that, or else he just understands it regardless. Len vaguely recalls his mom saying something about how the curse of Babel didn’t apply to the dead, but the specific mechanics aren’t really that interesting to him – they can talk, he can listen, that’s all that matters.

“Plus your plans got much better since your old man got sent away,” Tyrice says, kicking his heels. He’s pretty short. Maybe he regrets not getting tall? Len should offer him some help with that. “Good-for-nothing dickwad.”

“Well, yeah,” Len says, because it’s not untrue. He’d resisted getting rid of his father at first, either by making a heist go wrong or via Mick’s preferred method of just up and torching the fucker, but that'd been because of Lisa, who needed to stay in a good school for her skating and grades. Once his dad fucked up her ankle right before a big skating competition because he needed spare cash, Len saw red.

He’d been able to sweet-talk the old lady down the street into signing up for fostering and then agreeing to take in Lisa for the remainder of her schooling once Lewis was on his way to prison for a good long time.

Having said old lady’s husband around – and said old lady being a devout spiritualist, or whatever the hell you call people that pay fake mediums too much money, much to her deceased husband’s concern – had really helped.

Besides, if her boo-boo told her the money was better used on taking care of Lisa than on all those mediums, who was she to object?

(Boo-boo. Really. Len is so glad he and Mick aren’t over-the-top smoochy like that.)

All things considered, it worked pretty well.

His remaining concerns about leaving Lisa with the old lady were misplaced: Mrs. Crabtree was officially Lisa’s favorite person ever, being a proper old grandma type, and Lisa chased the fake mediums who sought Mrs. Crabtree out for an easy mark away with a baseball bat, which in turn meant Mr. Crabtree felt comfortable moving on, which made everybody happy.

But since that skating scholarship didn’t look like it was going anywhere anymore, not since Lewis, that still left the question of somehow paying for Lisa’s continued schooling. It turned out high school was fine and all, being public, but college? College is an expensive pain in Len's ass, but he was determined that Lisa would go. Mrs. Crabtree certainly couldn’t help pay for it, living off her pension as she did, and neither Len nor Lisa would ever ask for her to. Now that Len knew that Lisa was somewhere safe, though, he could devote himself to dealing with that little problem.

With his dad gone, Len could recruit his own crew and hunt up some game of his own, and what glorious game it was: high end jewelry transports, art museums with shitty security, history museums with even shittier guards, fashion designer outlets where they carted away bags of dresses, much to the complaints of his crew until they found out they could sell that shit to a copy-cat place for very near the price of gold…

Okay, sure, it didn't work perfectly all the time – he spent a good few of Lisa's teenage years in prison – but after he got out again, he went right back at it, saving up the money for Lisa’s college and grad school and whatever else she wants in life. Two solid years of it, travelling the world, and it was fun and all, but Len’s not going to lie, he’s damn happy it’s over. Now that he’s had time to try all the different variations, he definitely prefers taking his time and planning out the perfect heist instead of doing them all rapid-fire like he has been.

Not to mention, now that the heat’s passed in Central and they’re mostly looking for him in Europe and the coast cities instead, it means that he gets to come home and settle down, and best of all that he’ll get to see Lisa again regularly instead of just talking to her on the phone like it’s been the last two years.

Lisa is twenty now – starting a bit later than the rest, yes, but money takes time and she's not so far behind that people would really notice. College freshman, thanks to the fudging of her high school record that he paid for to make sure she got to go anywhere she wanted, though she still picked Central City Uni so that she could live in her own apartment but still come back to Mrs. Crabtree’s for her laundry and to hang out, apparently.

College.

Lisa.

Man.

Len doesn’t even know what to do with that.

Like, he's been dreaming of it and planning it and counting on it, but now that she's actually enrolled, it's all weird.

He hasn’t been much of a brother these last few years, he feels – he’d been in and out of prison until she was seventeen, and he’d spent her last three birthdays out raising money for her. Len took care of Lisa as long as he could, and when he realized he couldn’t, he got her where she needed to be, but it’s not the same as really being there, even though Lisa assures him that between the near-daily phone calls and the week-long visits he tried to arrange at least once every three months, she never felt like he was too far away.

Still not the same, and he’s gotta admit, he’s feeling a bit insecure about it. Which, he suspects, leads to his current overreaction now that she’s coming to crash with him for her very first spring break.

Len spends a whole week cleaning up the place he’d acquired in anticipation of Lisa's arrival, and he never cleans.

"Why are you so worried?" Sun-hui asks, even as she supervises his (deplorable) cleaning attempts. "Your sister loves you, and will be happy anywhere."

"She's a college student now," Len says, focusing on his scrubbing. "I don't know, there's a difference."

"Nah, man," Tryice says. He’d finally gotten his concert, but he’d decided to wait on Sun-hui reaching her own goals before agreeing to pass on. "Still your sister. My big bro went to college, but he was still the same coming back." He pauses. "Smoked more pot, though."

Len gives Tyrice a dirty look, then sighs. "Well, s'long as it's just pot, we'll be fine."

"Yeah, crack's the bad stuff," Tyrice says all too wisely.

"Pssh, heroin. Now that's a college kid killer – and I should know," Julie says. She's new - died of an OD before flying home for Christmas, now waiting for next Christmas to go back and say goodbye to everyone, and she’s become best buds with Daniela, which is good since Sister Bea has finally moved on by now.

Kiki, another new one, a soft-spoken too-late-regretted suicide, nods in agreement.

“Very bad,” she says solemnly. Nora – a sad-looking woman in her late thirties who’d gotten stabbed in the chest and never saw her beloved eleven-year-old grow up – covers her mouth to hide a smile at Len’s expression.

"Well, I think meth – " Daniela starts.

"Will you all stop talking about drugs!" Len finally yells. "Lisa's not on any! So shut up!"

They all smirk at him, but fall silent. They usually listen to him, Len's found, especially when he means it. He's not sure if it's because they all want something from him or because he actually has some power over them, but he's been trying not to think about it too hard.

He's not a necromancer, damnit. His job is to help fix the world by doing his own special part of the spiritual cycle of life, just like the bacteria that eat the body of the dead, except he helps clean up the ghostly realms instead of the forest.

Julie thinks the metaphor is awful, and Nora agrees. Mick kind of likes it, though.

Speaking of Mick, he's been too quiet.

"Mick?" Len calls, but no, nothing. "Go check if something's on fire," he tells the ghosts, shaking his head.

"Nothing's on fire," Mick grumbles, walking through the door to the kitchen. The open door, for once; he’s getting better at pretending to be living on instinct. "I went grocery shopping and didn't want to holler back from the porch."

"Groceries?"

"If we're gonna impress your sister like you so obviously want to, we're gonna need some food,” Mick says like it’s obvious. “College students eat like pigs when the food’s free.”

Len sighs and looks down at the half-scrubbed floor. "I'm not gonna impress her either way," he says. "I'm a high school dropout with a criminal record – "

"Who raised her from childhood," Mick says skeptically. "Who got that criminal record paying for her schooling. Who got your dad put away on charges of theft and murder that'll keep him there for a few years at least, so that he won't find you guys when he gets out. Nah, nothing impressive there at all."

"But – "

"Lenny. It'll be fine. Relax."