#also dont go into the notes its a shitshow

[ganondoodle]

so guess what they released more interviews and i think given what a writing shitshow totk was and what they have been saying in all these interviews is actually painting a really bad picture; i dont have the time, nor the energy to go over every detail

but they were commenting on people wanting the more linear format back and aonuma himself basically said that he thinks people who feel like that do so only bc of nostalgia and "Why do you want to go back to a type of game where you're more limited or more restricted in the types of things or ways you can play?"

what .. the fuck, more freedom DOESNT automatically mean better??? like ... restriction can be a GOOD thing just as tooo much freedom can be BAD?? like in totk??? are you fukcing shitting me- what the hell are games even for then, has he had an awakening to the fact that he actually just loves sandbox games without realizing it???? im not playing fucking zelda for a sandbox, especially not when its advertised as a somethign else

its pretty clear that they want to keep this format going with everything they say there, ... maybe it really is over huh

also i hate how they kept talking around answering anything about story/lore; they go asked how ganondorf even connects to ganon since theres nothign about it in game, and all they got out was welllll we dont wanna say anything bc its up to the player; about every question you got the answer of "make somethign up yourself" which is just ... its really clear they dont actually care but dont want to say everything is meaningless actually, so they try to be vague about it and with doing that really just confirm they didnt think about it and they dont care- so no lore actually matters, nothing thats been said or established has any meaning bc they will get rid of it the second it crosses paths with their new -more freedom equals better- philosophy, they say its bc they want you to be "free" to think up anything but apparently dont realize that when there are no rules, no consistent lore or anything that it ROBS it, it stops having meaning, its fun to connect dots only when there are rules you need to work with and dots to connect in the first place, when you have an established world with its restrictions it drives you to think more creatively about things- but when there are no rules?? its fucking boring!! thats what it is!!

when you discard all rules i wont care to get invested into anything bc i know it will not be considered again, be done away with without any reason and wont have influence on coming or previous games ... bc there are no rules, anything is possible and everything can be changed any second, so nothing matters

(they also talked about the many viral videos of those very few dedicated people that make godzilla mechs in totk and how happy they are about that- i get that to some extent, but the way they kept talkign about it really just felt like it confirmed my suspicion that that whole mechanic was mainly implemented to let people do that since that gets shared around en masse making it seem like that is why people enjoy it while neither the game nor the narrative are build around it in any way ..)

it just makes all the time i spend thinking, feeling and theorizing about zelda like a true waste of time, bc nothing matters and there are no rules-

i am someone who greatly enjoys working with and around established lore/rules, its fun to me to recontextulize things by being smart or creative with it all without breaking anything or as little as possible of the established things!

if i wanted to do just do anything i want I COULD HAVE ALREADY DONE THAT bc theres nothing actually stopping anyone to just make up what they want! i DONT need canon to lose all rules for that??!!

maybe ill have to make myself believe the franchise ended with botw on a good note ... ono

[pearblossomrain]

summarizing my home country's gp for myself:

● SIGNIFICANTLY more boring than baku 😭😭

● kmag returned but we did not get terror out of the track terrorist man. horrible!

● man i don't even know what vcarb is smoking bc softs?? halfway through?? speaking of softs why'd mercedes start hamilton on softs too that's 💀💀

● holy shit are we actually losing ricciardo??? red bull owes the man flowers and a fruit basket (if they aren't giving him the seat) for keeping norris from fastest lap ngl

● massive congrats to liam lawson though cos he does deserve it after his last year's performance and they've benched him long enough but ofc it's sad for ricciardo esp for someone who's been racing for so long (minus his break)

● not great from ferrari overall but that's on their quali tbh cos the recovery from that shitshow wasn't bad really and they were smart with pitting sainz early but i believe they're incapable of having 2 good strats....

● that's another mclaren double podium but i have to say that giant chrome logo is incredibly ugly 😭

● kind of surprised verstappen kept his red bull in 2nd? maybe the rb garage finally got their shit together! or maybe not cos its a miracle perez managed to end up within the points tbh...

● honestly INSANE defending from hulkenburg someone give that man minister of defence rn i feel like he did nothing but keep cars behind him, which unlucky for leclerc cos he was behind him AND alonso which is like 2 steel walls atp.

● that colapinto bit at the start was magnificent tbh i didn't see it until later but hell yeah that's the idgaf energy i want from someone who doesn't have a seat next year!

● idk what the hell happened with albon's car and why he retired i'm gonna have to go check but damn that's unlucky...

● seriously just bad luck for leclerc all around cos his times were good and he overtook quite a few times but he was against some ministers of defence today i fear 💀

● PLS DONT STOP THE COMMUNITY SERVICE JOKES THEY'RE SENDING ME INTO ORBITTT

● no safety car?? in SINGAPORE?? im throwing tomatoes out my window in the vague direction of the marina bay circuit rn 🍅🍅

side note: it's hilarious as a sgrean to watch the gp bc these are the same roads my slow ass bus takes every week.

side note 2: welcome back britney to the commentary! also when kimi appeared i said "omg my son" and my friend asked "ollie?" and i had to be like "...no my other son" 😭

side note 3: it's like barely 18 hours after the race as i type this and i just saw them dismantle the barriers with my own 2 eyes from the double decker bus?? damn that's FAST??

[funkygaypeopleinmyphone]

Nothing gets me into a fiery rage more than thinking about 343 has handled the Halo series after Bungie left it off on such a high note. 1, 2 and 3 were good, ODST and Reach were godlike, and they expanded on the universe quite a few times with books and comics and all that. And then 343 came in and just completely gumbled most of it up. CEA was cool, but basically just kitbashed Reach and upscaled Halo 3 assets together and lost some of the original touch the game had back in 2001.

Halo 4 was, ok? The best part was Cortana's story, going into more depth about rampancy and how it affects AI, especially one that we've known and loved for over a decade at that point. The Forerunners were fucking stupid personally, it's hinted to and LITERALLY SAID IN HALO 3, that humans are forerunners, just after the shitshow that was all the rings firing off. 343 Guilty Spark literally says that Chief is a forerunner, and then they just whipped it around and said "well actually he's a reclaimer because blablabla" ok whatever, they do flesh it out more in expanded works and explain it in Halo 4 so atleast theres that. Del Rio is an asshole to the savior of humanity for no reason. The sudden art style change that makes no sense is stupid, like you could've delayed the change until the Infinity rolled around. The Diadact is just space voldemort turning humanity into NFTs after being on r/nofap for 100,000 years, who then dies pretty unceremoniously to a shit ass grenade in a quick time event.

Halo 5 is.... fucking just Halo 5. The Cortaba story is so bad, why did you bring her back as an antagonist? Why didn't you stick to the marketing that was actually a really cool idea about Chief going rogue and hunting the truth. Where are the Marines? Why do I have to fight the Warden Eternal like 20 times? Better balancing than 4 i guess, but god the plot is just all over the place. And that fight scene with Chief, Chief was abducted as a child and forced into the spartan program and trained to be a cold brutal killer of the UNSC's foes. Without Mjolnir armor he straight up merked 2 ODSTs in hand-to-hand combat. This 7-foot-augmented-out-the-ass man had an equal match in a mass produced Spartan 4? Sure Locke is ONI so he's got some spice to him and he's still a Spartan wearing similar armor to Chief, but come on, you can't tell me a guy who saves humanity for breakfast is on a similar level to Halo Nightfall guy.

Infinite is strange. They basically drop Halo 5's characters for the most part, give Chief new (remastered Mk.6) armor, bring back older models of guns and stuff with a new coat of paint (Reach AR, Battle Rifle, now the DMR) and blow up Cortana and the Infinity within the first like, 30 minutes of the game. Ooooo the Banished except wait after Atriox's not-death they're pretty incompetent and are gettinf roflstomped by Chief and are really only good at killing UNSC off screen. The open world shit was ok, but for Halo i dont think its entirely the best idea to go for whatever Far Cry ass shit they pulled. Bringing back the old designs was really cool and much better than the sterile, clean, sharp edges of 4 and 5. Their armor and weapons looked like brand new toys while Infinite's look more realistic and have a bit more wear and tear to em. But its also missing a ton and just kind of ends off on a weird half note for the story. Like where are they gonna go with this? Idk, its just weird.

343, make more stories without Chief. I know Chief is the figurehead of the franchise, but for god's sake please please please make side stories in the universe. I want to see how humanity recovered after the war, how the different species in the Covenant took the end of the war. Exploring Forerunner sites? Side stories in the human-covenant war with ODSTs and Marines! You could totally make the Harvest campaign into a game! Give us the origin story for Sgt Johnson and how he and others did during the opening months of the conflict! Give us more on the Insurrection! You've done it before, Halo Forward Unto Dawn was actually a really cool movie, why don't you do some more stuff like that??

Idk, I love Halo but 343 gotta step their game up

[zan0tix]

Do you have thoughts about Dirk and Jake's relationship in canon? I am not anti dirkjake but I do have a hard time understanding the ship and why it's so massively popular. /gen (I have not yet read the epilogues so I'm just working off of whats in the comic)

Oh boy. DO I. Im currently working on a powerpoint presentation thatll be a little guide/recap/compilation.. thing about them whilst im reading act 6 and ill post it whenever i finish rereading the comic and writing all my notes! It will go into all the little bits of dialogue about eachother or narrative ties to certain things and such and such. (Will probably post this some time in the next two months or three. no guarantees)

But! The portrayal of their relationship and who they are and their struggles felt so real to me and it constantly astounds me that theres a fictional character who accurately displayed my own struggles in such a sincere way i feel like im getting put on blast when people psychoanalyise jake english orz

Homestucks character writing and thematic paralleling are some of its best assets and dirkjake are FULL of some of homestucks greatest moments of both. I would say that this post from @/tomatograter goes more into detail about those said moments and also alot of the other reasons i like them! And what they said in this post was true!-

-Theres just so much you can explore in homestuck through their relationship and aaaguh i love it i love it and theyre so important to the overall narrative and its just so nice to see openly gay rep that is as realistic and honest as them in a story like homestuck.

Being a teenager myself coming of age stories are the stories i relate to and find captivating the most right now and i dont think ive seen another piece of media go about its teen characters the way homestuck did. Its got problems on the handling of said characters but i dont think ive read anything else as raw and honest about personal issues teens face growing up and how they affect relationships (of all kinds!) and dirkjake are a big part of that for me!

I dont really like majority of fanon interpretations of dirkjake i wont lie (alot of.. flanderisation and blatant mischaracterisation) i dont really keep track of fandom stuff or ship popularity i just like enjoying what i enjoy and drawing things and talking about it with friends haha

And i have not read the epilogues either! i know the gist of the events in each timeline and i read a couple chapters but that was like years ago at this point and i dont think i will ever attempt to read them or homestuck^2. Some of the ideas that were present couldve been interesting but i honestly have no interest in going anywhere near it from what ive read about it. It sounds like a total shitshow and its not required to enjoy homestuck proper anyway so ¯_(ツ)_/¯

But!! if youd like to hear more about dirkjake in canon id totally reccomend tomatograter's other posts on them!!! his analysis was the thing that made me Really interested homestuck and hehe im grateful because now im here. This post has alot more of his meta commentary about them and theyre all really interesting reads :D

[antiloreolympus]

10 Anti LO Asks

(Note: All of these asks are before episode 206 (Season 2 finale) so some may be dated.) 1. lmao the episodes right before the mid season finale look way better than the current ones despite time off. how is that even possible.

2. nah but its funny rachel was like wait i cant have him send demeter's a baby shower gift and cut minthe off financially thatll make him look bad! but instead adding him being AWARE shes 19 and still chasing after her "tiny pink body" and "ass shaped like an upside down heart" and having him brag about owning countless slaves makes him look better? the logic is flawless here /sarcasm

3. I mean even beyond the fact the citizens dont like him nor do the old underworld gods, how does rachel expect us to buy hades causing economical collapse in ALL the realms and causing shit with the other kings over ONE PERSON HE KNEW A MONTH doesn't make him look like an thin-skinned, oppressive dictator? why should anyone support this? he's raging out like trump when he lost the 2020 election. just because rachel keeps insisting hes in the right doesnt actually mean he is.

4. Fp- is the joke with the fur supposed to be funny? Cause it wasn't. It just shows 1 AGAIN(after buying stuff while complaining about capitalism) that Perse is a hypocrite, she knows it & doesn't care 2 Hades doesn't really care about animals beside his dogs, it's just adding to him being horrible person. If the fur was artificial she wouldn't feel bad about wearing it & it would be mentioned. Also feelings since 4th day? Creepy. Definitely that girl understands you the most after 4 days...

5. how could olympus and the underworld turn into a shitshow after persephone left? literally tho, she should have been a nobody. all the citizens should only know is that 1) hades ripped a guys eye out for her and 2) she killed humans and didn't report it to zeus. if anything, the citizens should've believed persephone deserved to be punished, and that hades is an immature manchild for what he pulled in the court,,,

6. Why doesn’t Cerberus have three heads. I’m sure this has been asked before but how you gonna write Cerberus without three heads—the one defining trait this dog has. Where are the other heads. Where are they

7. this is such a minor thing but WHY ARE NONE OF THE EYES IN LO LINED UP PROPERLY. I have a lazy eye and if I don't focus on it long enough it can go out of focus/look elsewhere, but I don't think that's what happening?? Why are their eyes always looking in different directions 😭

8. what I don't think Rachel gets this, but having Persephone and Hades cling to someone they barely know from a decade+ ago shows a huge lack of mental and emotional maturity on their ends. I realize it's a bit more complicated because we do know they end up together, but that's why placing it before they even start dating is just a bad idea. This isnt a case of lovers/spouses longing to see each other again, it's two grown adults with the emotional maturity of 15 year olds.

9. Rachel don't draw women with heart shaped faces, hourglass bodies, and huge eyes challenge (impossible for her specifically difficulty)

10. why would hebe even want to be like her mom anyway? hera was emotionally and mentally neglectful of her, abandoned her so zeus presumably raised her himself, and hera is a hypocritical, racist jerk who cheats on her husband, is misogynistic to other women, openly married zeus for power, told others about persephone's assault without her consent, mistreats her own "friend", and abuses her power of everyone else. rachel really wants us to buy she's a ~complicated woman~ over just being an asshole.

[acinongalli]

serious talk for once. I need some advice. Ive been dating a trans girl for about a year now. I met her right about when she became trans, before dysphoria set in. She was fine for a couple months before her dysphoria developed. She went from a very happy, energetic person to depressed, paranoid, and self-hateful. The last 8 months I've tried to help her start transitioning (one thing to note is we are long distance. I'm American, she's Finnish) by looking up the laws of her country, how their systems work, etc. We tried Gendergp, but her parents found out and made her stop contacting the company. Her parents want her to go through the governmental program (which is a fucking shitshow on fire) and she tried once and got denied because she hadn't been openly trans for 2 or 3 years. She tried ordering stuff to DIY transition from a supplier I knew from a trans friend of mine. Once again, parents found out after she had just started transition for a couple days.

Those two days were the happiest she's ever been, but after she went back to depression and believing that she's ruining my life. It hurts me to see her like this, having her tell me that she doesnt deserve me. Her parents want her to wait a year to reapply to the government program, but even if she gets accepted, its another 2-4 years until she might get to transition.

While I don't like her parents, they do at least support her, in a way. She's trying to move out, but her dysphoria seeps into her entire life, where she doesnt have many irl friends, doesnt usually have the energy to go and try to apply for work, and she barely gets by with her university studies.

I love her, and I want her to be happy again, but my limited experience as a non-trans (cis?) person who has only helped other trans people in my life, isnt going to be enough for her. She's said she has no suicidal thoughts, but also has said I'm her reason to live, so I get really stressed because I dont know what to do anymore. She's hyperfixated on her body being the only way to be happy, which I understand as a big step, but she wont take the small steps like dressing feminine, try doing traditionally feminine things, etc. to at least potentially give her a little boost.

Out of everywhere, I guessed Tumblr was the best chance at getting some advice or help. I dont know how to move forward, but I need to, for her.

(she doesnt have tumblr, and I hope she doesnt see this, because she'll blame herself again)

[artisticmenace]

PROSHIPPERS DNI I FUCKING HATE YOU!!!!

Other DNIs below.

im approachable and you should talk to me. cue hypnosis.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hello, dear friends and accociates. Welcome to the normal info section.

hiii. I'm tabs. I'm suuuper gay(asexual panromantic). I'm also an artist. Any scorn or prejudice will be promptly ignored. Criticism will be looked over as long as its constructive.

Status:

dude i AM the stress ball

About me:

I have a bunch of OCs, and I'm writing so many (unfinished)books... Yeah, that's right. I like to suffer and die creatively TWICE!! I can not be helped. I'm just goofy like that sometimes. I hate most non canon ships for fandoms im in, but I'll probably just go "ew" and leave you alone(depends on the ship, really). I haven't been tested for autism or ADHD but enough things line up, so I'm like 80% sure. The 20% is self-doubt. I like to dress fancy, and my general look is deep woods cottagecore that has recently drank from the lake of maximalism. You won't see pictures of me, probably, because my room is NOT clean. Sometimes, I vent on here, but that's because I am the only demographic this blog needs. I love you, too, but your feelings are only being considered a little bit. I use tone tags every now and then if I feel I would be misunderstood. On that note, I am more likely to ignore or ask for clarification if you say something rancid or silly than get on your ass about it.

Those Days:

I'm gonna be making a comic called Those Days about a small town old gay couple, Scott and Rodney, telling their life's story. They've been friends since their sophomore year in high school, and they've seen a lot. Scott was a punk, to say the least.

For the actual comic, you'll need to thosedayscomic, the blog I made for the comic.

^^ I'm currently working on the first issue. I do have lots of art of them though.

Tags for my comic:

those days, those days comic. also any character names first and last.

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Current Fixations:

Camp Here and There (Waiting for S2)

Welcome to Night Vale (all caught up)

The Magnus Archives (help)

The Magnus Protocol (screaming)

Good Omens (SYD ASYDIC IM GOING TO GUILLOTINE YOU)

Gravity Falls (fan for a while and now ive read through the book of bill. cryifn)

What's Currently Crippling:

good omens is going to kill me. i will never be able to think of anything else what the hell

Also:

I love interaction! I will always discuss my interests, and l o r e when asked. In other words, PLEASE TALK TO ME !!!

If you want to use my art for your pfp go ahead, just credit me.

Don't repost my art. Please and thankies.

i use ibispaintx btw and i watch the ads for my brushes

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Art Requests/Asks: Open!!

Art Trades: Open!!

DMs: Open(as long as you arent a creep or an asshole obviously)

(cant do commissions because the world hates me but dont be shy to trade me. not particular on what i get back as long as i made someone happy. cause it feels amazing to see something i did made someone happy)

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DNI LIST because I'm a little hater:

proshippers (what the fuck. what the actual fuck. fictional or not.)

active members of the hazbin/helluva fandom(if i am reminded of that shitshow when you interact with my page UTAFSHBDBDBDJNSJAGAHAOSHHAGA)

racists, sexists, homophobes, transphobes, etc

pro-israel.

18+ blogs (a whole minor)

those problematic "sexualities" (ex. super straight, MAP, zoosexual)(also RCTA what the fuck)

people who fake disabilities/mental illness

people who actively misuse words that describe mental illnesses even though they are well informed about that sort of thing

those fucking people who ruin pretty houses and antique furniture and old clothing. fuck you.

people who write smut about canonically sex repulsed asexual characters(jonathan sims) and just people who decide they dgaf about anything like that. bi-erasure, aro-erasure. anything erasure. i hope youre having a terrible day.

sydelijah shippers get out.

(this one is unserious) people who dont deadname twitter

PRO HOA YOU DONT EVEN BELONG ON TUMBLR FUCK YOU I HOPE MY FUTURE SOMEWHAT UNATTAINABLE MAXIMALIST HOME PISSES ON YOUR BABY

people who are mean to me. i havent had any yet but just in case. if you disagree with my take, thats ok bc you arent the demographic for my blog. I AM!!!! /silly srs

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Here's my sick tags:

artisticmenace - anything that is a post by me

menaceartisticity - art and art related things

themenaceuseswords- text posts. i say shit sometimes.

themenacerants - my new tag for when i lose my shit

menaceencouragement - words of solace and encouragement from me

menacepoetry - poetry/songs yeah. probably sad stuff cause im miserable sometimes

menacescrawling - writing. oh buddy boy.

menacemusicality - im a choir kid what do you want from me

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Thank you, I love you.

going to collect these things because why not

credits, top to bottom:

butterscotch-goat

cowboyinternist (2)

[lgbtpolitics]

I am absolutely fuming about this fucking analysis of the lesbian masterdoc, i havent finished reading it yet, so I'm not gonna comment on anything specific said in there but I'm just gonna explain my own experience with it.

I was such a mess even just a year or so ago. I decided I must be bisexual because I had gotten with a handful of guys when drunk etc, and even tried dating a male friend of mine. Us dating was an absolute shitshow but thats not actually the bit I want to reference. When I went to uni, I kind of knew deep down I only liked girls but that just... didnt seem to stop me from sleeping with men. I would constantly just be getting into these situations where a man would flirt with me, I would feel flattered by it, whilst usually a bit drunk, and I would get off with him. We would then get to a point of being undressed and I would just feel like I hated it. I would go through with it anyway, and then feel like utter shit afterwards - both mentally and physically. I was so weird with guys, they must have thought I was insane, I would not stick around after the fact (I could not bear to be there), I would avoid them after sleeping with them, I would seem interested one minute then not the next...

I always felt between a rock and hard place really. I went through phases of calling myself a lesbian, and calling myself bisexual, both felt like a lie. What kind of lesbian frequently sleeps with men? But equally what kind of bisexual only actually likes women? As a side note this is why I actively hate that the response to this is always "dont worry about labels"- whatever I called it didnt change the fact that I was damaging myself by sleeping with people I didnt like. I used to actively try not to sleep with men, I knew what was going to happen, and yet I would just always get swept up in it, maybe this time I am genuinely into it.

I am not exaggerating when I say that finding out other women did in fact feel like this, it changed my whole life. Actually understanding what I was feeling and where it was coming from really helped me identify when I genuinely wanted someone and when I didnt. It was like a weight off my shoulders (a cliche I know).

Your view on your own sexuality shouldn't depend on others I know, but a part of the reason I thought I should be bi was because so many of my friends would tell me I had to be because they knew I had been with guys. It meant alot to me when a friend of mine, completely out of the blue, sent me the video in which Contrapoints comes out as a lesbian, where she references the doc, saying that this had reminded him of me, and is that how I felt.

Its still quite hard to explain, a lot of people still insist I must be bisexual. I think I experienced a stronger amount of this (I could be wrong to be fair I havent taken a poll or anything its just an impression), due to various factors from my young teenage years. But its very common, I know ALOT of lesbians have had these kinds of experiences. And for someone to be saying this document is bad, shouldnt be used and its trying to recruit bisexual women or whatever etc just blows my mind a little. This is what I mean about the "labels" issue, I feel like a lot of the people criticising this are looking at it as a decider of what "camp" they fall into, rather than trying to help people understand themselves, and hopefully be able to stop putting themselves in damaging situations. From their blog they have also compared it to conversion therapy??? And then backed it up by screenshotting tweets saying if the doc made you question your bisexuality you might be a lesbian, which okay, thats quite rude, but it most certainly isnt conversion therapy.

[luobingmeis]

I think Undyne's determination has less to do with like something that happened in the past and more like the overlap between determination as an actual physical thing VS a spiritual thing. Whereas the amalgamates were injected with determination by Alphys, Undyne makes her OWN. You've killed her best friend. You're going to kill the love of her life. You're going to kill her mentor. You're going to kill everyone. You've killed HER. But she still has to stop you. Everyone is counting on her 1/2

Undyne's whole motif is letting the monsters of the Underground achieve their hopes and dreams. Theres a reason she is the boss fight in Waterfall, the most backstory rich area in the game. Hope and dreams have just as much weight as determination does, its what helps you defeat Asriel. And Undyne the Undying's design mimics Asriel's because in Genocide SHE is the heroine, SHE is the determined hero that defies death in order to save everyone she loves via the hopes and dreams of everyone (2/2)

Sorry I just really fucking love Undyne Undertale fhfhfndkdk she willingly letting herself be used in an experiment to help her people is Very Good tho too hmmmm

!!!!

sorry ur abt to get a whole essay i love undertale so much.........

(also i use a lot of !!! for emphasis, not bc i’m yelling omg)

(also i’m letting you know this is an incoherent mess, it is 2am here akjsdkjsdjk)

but you can definitely be right!!!! tbh your idea seems much more par for the course than the spaghetti im throwing at the wall

even then, though, it’s stll so interesting bc like!!!! undyne’s courage is undeniable, and her fight to protect the underground plays Such a huge role in her whole waterfall arc. and, in the spiritual sense, she is absolutely determined!! that just makes me WONDER though bc, like, canonically, monsters Are Not determined! they don’t have that threshold!

and then, in looking at determination in the spiritual sense, what exactly makes undyne different? is it that her desire to live and protect the underground unlocks that threshold needed for determination? at one point, could monsters be determined, but then their millennia trapped underground biologically/psychologically stripped them of that? so then could any monster in the underground, when facing high enough stakes, have that determination? or is it just undyne?

bc then i think about the other bosses in either route, like papyrus, mettaton, asgore, sans. where undyne is the monster/boss capable of possessing determination, sans is probably the one least likely to have any threshold for determination (this is bc his entire boss fight is him realizing he can no longer be an observer, he is literally the last line of defense between chara and the annihilation of all monsters). mettaton is complicated bc as a napstablook turned corporeal, i dont even know where to BEGIN with him. but then there’s papyrus and!! it feels like he should be capable of feeling determined. in both the pacifist and genocide route, he is so assured that the human has some internal goodness. while, in the genocide route, that hope could be translated to fear, that still makes me wonder: under what circumstances could a monster’s determination be unlocked? is it not solely life or death? does it require some ulterior motives (aka undyne’s whole character being protecting the underground)? and like!!! it’s just so fun to think about bc, say it is undyne’s spiritual determination being unlocked, it’s so interesting that she’s the one differentiated!! that even papyrus, a character brimming with good and happiness and love, doesn’t have that determination, but undyne, who has a similar type of passion and goodness within her, does!!!

with experiment undyne, i will admit my theory is very much uhh wild! and unhinged! and, while my theory is much more playing in the “what if’s” of the science of artificial determination, it still makes me wonder! especially in the boss fight herself. ever since i first saw her genocide boss fight, i’ve always been a bit fixated on her eye, specifically the one w/ the eye-patch that eventually seems to have Some type of arrow power. while this definitely could have just been A Design Choice (and one i stand by!!), undertale is a game that reveals its complete lore when the pacifist and genocide route are put together. thus, in a hypothetical situation, i don’t think it would be out of the question that undyne’s eye could still Do that even in a pacifist route.

but even then, there are holes to poke! such as why doesn’t she use it? if undyne has been injected with artificial determination, why is she, frankly, normal until it’s a matter of life and death?

(to cut to the punchline before i get into my bullshit: i think it’s bc, at first, it seemed as if the artificial determination just Didn’t Work and had no affect, when in reality it needed to be met with spiritual determination as well)

and, again, i know i’m playing with a lot of hypotheticals right now, and mostly this is me just kinda fun bullshit theorizing, but i think it could have something to do with the fact that she has the threshold for spiritual determination! the reason i even think that she would offer herself up to determination experimentation is bc of the loyalty and love she has for asgore and the underground. i would argue that she is just as invested in asgore’s plan as asgore himself is, and she obviously sees him as some type of father-figure. so that alone gives her this Drive to do whatever it takes for the underground to survive.

so, therefore, i think in regards to this hypothetical experiment undyne, i think it quite literally is that spiritual determination threshold combined with artificial determination

and for that, i quickly want to talk abt the amalgamates and why they tie into this:

the timeline: corpses/souls injected with determination --> no reaction --> corpses wake up and act normal --> ??? happens  --> (quickly leads to) amalgamates

and so then that once again raises the question: what differentiates undyne? 

i think, for that, we then have to consider another question: if most monsters do not have the physical determination to continue living after death, can that determination be given when they’re already dead? monsters in general already have no threshold for determination, so can that be artificially made if it never existed in the first place? 

bc while alphys’s experiment, iirc, was to see what happened when a soul was injected with determination, i think the other much needed question is if monster souls could even Handle determination

and, while we do not know specifically what went wrong with the amalgamates (aka like How did they melt together), we do know that their physical forms really were not able to handle the artificial determination, imo most likely bc they do not even have a threshold for spiritual determination

but undyne is, as you have noted, different!

so, frankly, i think you’re right! i think undyne does have an inherent spiritual determination. it’s uncommon in monsters, but her want to save the world is enough to leave her determined

however, i think That would have just been enough to keep her alive

i think it’s artificial determination that gave her that final form! to reference  back to the amalgamates, they were all creatures whose powers we had seen before, but different now and, specifically, more powerful. that very same thing could be said for undyne! her powers are, essentially, things we have seen before, but fucking to Max Intensity 

AND THEN!! AND THEN!!!!!

when you do kill heroine undyne, she doesn’t turn to dust first

she melts first, and then turns to dust!!!!!

and, honestly, it’s that small detail that sent me down this rabbit hole, bc the only ever time we’ve seen monsters melted together are the amalgamates!

i think the main difference between heroine undyne and the amalgamates is the fact that undyne, at first, had No Reaction to the determination at first bc, since she most likely already had this secret threshold for spiritual determination, it wasn’t the Biggest of changes. it wouldn’t have had such a drastic reaction on her physical form bc, even if she didn’t know it yet, it wasn’t an entirely foreign substance

the amalgamates, however, aka monsters who had no spiritual determination, could only handle the artificial determination for an unknown amount of time before their bodies began rejecting the chemicals and becoming..... that

of course, then, this leaves me with even more questions, such as could undyne sustain this final form? would her body eventually give out, overcome by determination? was this form only meant for life or death situations?

and uhhh i think this is the end!! if you made it this far and are thinking to urself “damn you’re really an english major when you write like this?? this isn’t even comprehensible” do not fret!! i know this theory is kinda a shitshow, and it’s one of those things where i can keep myself up all night thinking abt this and talking myself in circles bc there are some points that i think have strengths and other points that are probably pretty weak

basically though!! i see the connection between artificial determination and undyne through the fact that her form actually changes, the reveal of her legit power eye, the way her attacks have been altered, and the fact that she melts at the end (akin to the amalgamates’ appearances) before poofing into dust

this has been,,,, a shitshow i am so sorry i hope this was at least somewhat understandable ajkdsjkdsjk

[timextoxhajima]

death to 2020

cause fuck 2020 lmao

disclaimer: im usually a really brutally honest person with alot of vulgarities because that’s how strongly i feel about stuff im willing to talk about, so... brace yourself for alot of vulgarities and occasionally a word you wouldn’t understand cause it’s a singaporean vulgarity 

now where the FUCK do i start?

i started 2020 really happy, though i was still reeling from the shit relationship i was in for most of 2019. he was a cunt and we broke up in september 2019. i got attached again in feb 2020 to a guy i was seeing from late 2019. 

ANYWAY

my tumblr journey began in july (i don’t fkin remember what date it was anymore because it doesn’t matter) and long story short, tumblr has become my escape from reality. as most of you know i’ve been writing since 2014, just never touched this platform until 2016 because i was busy reading smuts WUPS but decided i wanted a more interactive platform with my readers so i ended up here. 

ANYWAY X2

below is the list of people i wna thank for making my tumblr journey so much more worthwhile, though we might not be close. i also don’t take note of my moots so im so fucking sorry if i missed you out, seriously just drop me an angry ask and ill bow down at your feet.

ANYWAY X3 LET’S BEGIN

to qiu: @stealerz

for being the little sister but like, my sunbae? LMAO uk how when a younger idol debuts but they meet an older idol that debuts later lmao yeah that’s us. i always find it honorable that you come to me for advice, and while i am known among my friends for giving great advice, i never fucking agreed because more often than not, i don’t follow my OWN advice. so qiu acts like a reminder that hey, maybe i shd stfu and listen to myself. but i really wna thank qiu for keeping me in the circle because im not one to initiate conversations (EVER) and she’s always the one talking to me about sch stuff which actually grounds me? makes me believe that school and my virtual reality can still coincide. thank you for being such an amazing friend, for being a person i actually feel close to because...? proximity? HAHAH but anyways, happy death to 2020, love. 

to yu: @lsangyeons

for trusting me so much with whatever you tell me about your life. i’m someone who doesn’t offer trust easily, and even if it does seem like i do, there are alot more things i tend to keep from people about my private life, so i know exactly how it feels to talk to someone you only know online about the things that bug us. your drawings are so fucking amazing and adorable, it’s just endearing to see that hardwork come out in something else besides writing (because that’s all ive been fkin doing lolz). i hope 2021 treats you alot better, because you deserve it. HAPPY DEATH TO 2020. 

to bella: @fullsunsays

for also trusting me with your emotional breakdowns (i hope you are alright with me saying this here because you talk about it on your acc every now and then but if you’re uncomfortable just give me a sound out and i’ll get rid of it). i just get so fking flattered because it just feels like you feel safe around me? and that? you treat me like a safe space? ion know it’s just all pretty new to me, about being in this online community. thank you for screaming with me/at me about different things, thank you for being so endearing with my shit, and i hope nothing but a better year for you. happy death to 2020, my love. 

to violet: @yunhoiseyecandy

for putting up with my nonsense every now and then and being so accepting to my feral side. i dont know if its because i know you’re an ateez stan and yknow ateez stans are usually more feral than tbz stans (idk i rlly dont) and like, i just find myself screaming to you every now and then and you’d do the same and it gives me ‘a pair of dumb feral bimbo’ vibes so, i dont know what i’d do without you, honestly. sometimes you’re the reminder that i have ateez stuff in my drafts or sitting in my laptop waiting to be published and youre a reminder that half my masterlist is also ateez content LOL. we don’t rlly talk about our private lives much but i definitely appreciate you way more than you think. happy death to 2020, vio. 

to gina: @sunlightwoo

for closing the gap so quickly! i earnestly dont remember how we got to be moots and all i remember is you screaming to me about smth and i screamed back and we just clicked from there, ion know LMAO. i love it that you’re so endearing and so patient with my shit and the stuff you write! omg. not many things make my heart flutter and BEST BELIEVE i DIED when i read your eric fic for the 12 days of christmas collab. we don’t rlly know much about our private lives and that’s alright, but i just want you to know that you deserve everything. happy death to 2020, gina!

to daisy: @sangyeon-lee

for confusing the fuck outta me when you switched from a fluffy yunho (??) mydaintydaisy to sangyeon as ur dp and sangyeon lee as ur user i was like ???? who the fuc-- OH. BUT YOU ARE SO FUCKING SWEET like i swear on GOD you are that one friend in the grp of girls that bakes cookies and give hugs and offer sweets and... give more hugs i really can’t uwu. (but now that your dp has changed i might have second thoughts hm). anyhow, we haven’t really interacted much besides in the 12 days of christmas collab gc but i just want you to know that i appreciate you in my notifs SO MUCH and i just hope we have a chance to get closer. happy death to 2020, daisy. 

to han @fleurseoul, april @tbzlvr and ri @sunwoowuvbot

for being such amazing readers, for constantly giving me encouragement, for always being my first notes or reblogs and i NEVER miss out on reading your tags like EVER because they are what keeps me going and keeps me motivated to keep writing. like, i really have no words to describe the gratitude i have. 

ANYWAY X4

below are the moots in my awareness (because im a fucking idiot ngl) that i appreciate and hope we can get to know each other better uwu

@elcie-chxn @experimentalwrites @ddadadada @chaoticdeobi @atbzkingdom @micaronn (i feel like i have a fuckload more but my goldfish brain cannot handle it lmao)

please send me an angry ask if i’ve missed you out >:(

ANYWAY x5

here’s to a better 2021, here’s to a year that’s not so much of a shitshow. here’s to the death of 2020. PEACE OUT. 

[violasmirabiles]

tagged by @panwriter, thank you xx

why did you choose your url? went through the scientific names of various violets because thought it was funny because one of my names can be translated as violet or pansy in english; the finnish name of viola mirabilis happened to provide me with an additional stealth fandom reference (yeah its lehto-orvokki yeah its that Finnish War Thing). also i think violamirabilis was taken so now im just. a bunch of flowers

any side blogs? @ihmekukkavesi for my photos - pretty inactive because, ah, im, how do you say, lazy as fuck, and @shineondoc for university hell

how long have you been on tumblr? since december 2011 babeyyyy

do you have a queue tag? no i do not. this shitshow is always brought to you in real time

why did you start your blog in the first place? classic rock fandom, especially pink floyd. i was sixteen and lonely and had no one my age to bond with over the music and the musicians i liked

why did you choose your icon/pfp? thats a selfie. i have a good face. ive been thinking about updating it for a week now though since i changed my hair and am blonde again but im lazy, you know how it is

why did you choose your header? symposion by akseli gallen-kallela. theres two reasons and they are 1) love the “night out with the lads but its 1894 and we cant take a selfie so im just gonna have to paint a fucking oil painting later” thing its got going on and 2) LOVE the colors. this painting has also been my phone homescreen bg for a long time

what’s your post with the most notes? uhh. probably this?

how many mutuals do you have? quite a few. no really ive never counted i dont know the exact number. ive had this blog for ten years for gods sake.

how many followers do you have? 2326. dont know how many are active

how many people do you follow? 654. also dont know how many are active and oftentimes its like i intend to do some Spring Cleaning and come across blogs that havent been active in YEARS but i just. cant bring myself to unfollow them because what if they come back someday

have you ever made a shitpost? have you not? of course i have. 

how often do you use tumblr everyday? many quick checks throughout the day whenever im bored and theres a notification on my phone. how else does one “use” tumble dot hell

did you have a fight/argument with another blog once? hm. i mean not really? like. there was that one time i noticed someone reposted a friends edit claiming it as their own even though it had said friends url on it and everything and i said something along the lines of hey dont do that thats not cool and then got a Mysterious Anon message that said something along the lines of fuck you bitch what are you gonna do. this was Years ago. also there was another time, also years ago, when i got another mysterious anon that was like “i dont like you” and then “oh you think youre so perfect well you ARE i should just go kill myself” because ?? someone they followed followed me as well and apparently reblogged a lot of my posts and ??? yeah i dont know either.

how do you feel about “you need to reblog this”? guilt tripping bullshit. like, sure, if the post is legit important and the “WHY ARENT PEOPLE TALKING ABOUT THIS” comment is in the reblogs or something i might rb from the source or otherwise without That Comment. and yes i have reblogged posts with those comments before, again, have been here for a long time, but, eh. im not very likely to touch a post that has a comment like that. im tired. im twenty six. i read news. even watch em on tv sometimes if im somewhere with a tv. tumblr is not where i Go Get My Fix Of News.

do you like tag games? yeah!! i keep forgetting to do them but i do love them and being tagged in them!

do you like ask games? yeah! but im so fucking lazy and forgetful!

which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous? theres a few! and theres a few who have like. one or two posts that got Huge and i keep seeing those posts on a whole different corner of my dash and go oh :) hey thats my friend :)

do you have a crush on a mutual? nope

tagging: uhh my brains been buffering for five minutes so im not gonna tag anyone at this time sorrY

[izzymcfeegles]

Regarding Sebastian Stan:

There's a lot of vemon in his fanbase right now. People are angry, hurt, disappointed, and upset.

Overall, I wouldn't call myself a stan or a fangirl. I'm a fan of his work. As somebody who recently got back into the MCU fandom, his performances have always stood out and he just seems like an overall chill, dude. As somebody who lives in the NYC metropolitan area and commutes to Manhattan, I was really impressed with his initial response to the terrifying early days of COVID, using his elevated platform to promote safety. It was much appreciated, especially during a time when NYC was quickly becoming epicentre and cases were rampant. It made me see him as a normal dude, not an out-of-touch celebrity. It made me feel like he had our backs. Maybe the problem lies in my assumptions.

The thing is, despite what Twitter and Insta stans may believe, none of us know Sebastian Stan. Like every public figure, we only know Sebastian Stan's brand. How he (and his PR team) chooses present himself in public and on social media. That being said, the Ibiza trip felt entirely off-brand, given what a lot of fans are used to.

When my Insta feed starts flooding with pictures of Sebastian on a yacht laying the PDA on thick with this woman, not wearing a mask while the being waited on by masked employees, being seen in a club, it rubbed me the wrong way. I'm not someone who typically follows celebrity gossip and under normal circumstances, none of this would bother me. The dude is a grown man and what he does is his business. However, we're not living in normal times. Him traveling overseas during a pandemic made him look like an idiot and a hypocrite. Like all of the goodwill he had built up was for nothing. Some people argue that Ibiza was "safe" at the time. The reality is that while cases in NY and Ibiza have gone down, the virus never went away and international travel is still extremely risky, hence why the EU rightfully banned travel from the U.S. (which raises some questions as to how he got there. Some people theorize his Romanian passport, but im not sure how that would factor in given he's a NY resident).

We can't get into his head and understand the rationale behind the complete 180 in his behavior. Some folks are speculating that it may be a PR stunt, and while I try not to be that cynical, I wouldn't be surprised to find if that were the case, given the nature of the photos and how they contradict his previous posts. If it is, I'm not sure what his agency is trying to accomplish. There is nothing cool, sexy, or glamorous about going about partying in exclusive places and pretending that the pandemic doesn't exist while the majority of the world is suffering. It was tone-deaf and made him look like a tool. Bad optics.

The "geisha pics" from the supposed girlfriend (we really dont know the true nature of their relationship and may never) were the straw that broke the camel's back for a lot of people. I don't think it's fair to put blame on Sebastian - I don't expect the dude to thoroughly vet everyone he meets (leave that to his PR team...) and I do think that it was a bit invasive to dig up that kind of dirt on somebody's supposed so (once again, we still don't know). However, the pictures are now out in the open and yes, they're bad.

As I'm white person it's not my job to tell people what they should or shouldn't be offended by. I do know that as a white person, even in 2018, I would never even consider reducing another person's culture to a cheap party outfit. Its totally unacceptable. And I can see how fans were hurt by being blocked by him for calling her out on it.

That being said, I couldn't help but be taken aback by how zealous the Twitter stans were in dragging him. What I saw were some legitimate points, heartfealt concern, but also insults and threats to leak his personal information. And a lot of women tearing each other down. Even going after Paul Walter Houser for standing up for his friend, which in this case, I honestly couldn't blame the guy. One of my friends in the Cobra Kai fandom had him on his podcast and he seems like an overall solid dude so I think it's only fair to consider his position.

All in all, do I believe the Sebastian Stan is a garbage human who needs to be canceled? No. As mentioned earlier, while we may not know him, his image has been pretty consistent over the years. Most people who have encountered him, including cast and crew have said positive things about him. I'd like to believe he is decent guy who is just making some really bad career moves right now. People go through periods in their lives where they poor choices. If all of this is his doing, I hope he really takes some time to reflect on all this and learn from it and ask himself if this is the image he wants to present. If this is all his agency, I'm hoping they're seeing the negative press and taking notes. If not, I hope he can find a way to get the hell out of there. This is the same agency that supposedly covered for Harvey Weinstein so forcing their clients into doing sleazy PR stunts wouldn't suprise me. Either way, this whole thing has been a shitshow. The mob mentality of the Twitter stans and the threats and harassment need to stop, but it doesn't change the fact his actions hurt alot of people. I don't want him to be "over," I just want him to be better.

[tac-confessions]

K lemme clear some stuff up since some of you cant read, and yes im gunna be aggressive as hell in this because none of you listen

First few things, i am not suicidal, i did not say i was going to off myself, i do not know who that anon was but because of everyone saying that anon was me, that anon is not getting the help they deserve from you people so maybe instead of looking for another petty reason to justify your actions against me, think for a second how ignorant your actions are to someone who is legitimately struggling with life right now. How do you think that anon feels? To have posted that as an attempt to seek help or something or to vent, and then see everyone going “omg vlixxie did this to guilt trip deku!!1!” Yeah, please use your brains thank you

To clarify, what i said was that i have struggled with suicidal thoughts and tendancies in the past, im getting help and im getting better, but i still struggle with heavy depression, i did not intend for this to be a guit trip, i realized how aggressive i was towards deku and i attempted to explain why i got so angry at them, receiving vivid violence threats like that really can trigger memories of when i was struggling with life, it can trigger a lot of dissociation and anger and hard shit to deal with, please do not take my words out of context if your going to go off on me for that, no one likes a hypocrite

K second thing, can you FUCK OFF with the ableist autism comments what the actual fuck is wrong with you anons. Seriously? You think people are defending me because im uwu autistic cant do shit? Yeah i have autism, yeah its a disorder thats hard af to deal with, but you know what? I fucking deal with it because life doesnt go soft on you because yoy have more trouble navigating it. I know how to control myself, i know how to form words, i can function as a human being and implying that i cant and that thats the only reason people are defending me is sickening and dehumanizing. Stop minimalizing me and the autistic community as a fucking whole just because you want reasons for me to be at fault

Next point, the slurs, oh the slurs, deku used the R slur against me. Deku did not know i was autistic, i did not ever expect them to have known that as i didnt tell them so i’d appreciate it if you dropped that whole “how could deku know!!” Im not mad because deku used a specific slur against autistic people against me. Im mad because deku used a slur as an insult. As i have been informed, deku also has some kind of disorder, but thats none of my business so i wont ask. The point is, deku has a disorder so in technicality he is likely eligable to reclaim the R slur. The issue with how deku used the slur was they used it as an insult, thats not how reclaiming works, reclaiming a slur is a process used by the minority to slowly take the edge away, to take away its power, so it cant be used against them anymore. When you “reclaim” a slur by using it as an insult, your giving it more power, your using it to descriminate, your doing literally the oposite of reclaiming. So dont come at me with the “deku can use the slur” because while thats true, using a slur to belittle or insult someone takes away any rights you might have and makes you just as discriminatory as anyone else using a slur as an insult

My triggers, so as i gave mentioned in this and as i have mentioned in notes and past posts, violence indicators and threats in general are pretty triggering for me, i dont know why ya’ll started saying “how could deku know??” Because i never said i expected them to know, newsflash, i really dont. Im not open about most of my triggers because most are centered around trauma or are embarrassing to talk about, ya’ll think i wanna be out here talking about how i used to wanna off myself? Ya’ll think im enjoying that? Nah not one bit i’d rather shut my damn mouth on that but it’d just give you people yet another reason to come at me so here we are. Deku did not know those two things would especially set me off, but the fact of the matter is that deku used a slur against me, and deku threatened me. Wether those two things are triggers for me or not they’re disgusting behavior and sick. The reason i brought up the triggers was like i said earlier, to try and explain why i got so aggressive at deku in addition to the original nature of the threats and insults

I legitimately dont know what “evidence” ya’ll have against me but your claiming you got screenshots of me doing/saying something that apparently warrants you to attack me, before ya’ll start sending those screens out like u claim your gunna do, maybe you should dm me and ask for my side, instead of furthering the one sided nature of this shitshow. I do have beef with endo rn, i have had beef with endo for a while now, but i kept it all in private, i didnt say anyting, i vented to my friends a few times because it was stressful as fuck and it was eating me up inside, i gave them screenshots when they asked but i literally never took this public. So before you try to attack me for “publicly” shaming endo, maybe consider that you are literally the people who made this a public affair and literally publicly shamed *me* for nothing

You had no reason to make this public, you had no reason to attack me, you’re grasping at straws trying to find a way to justify your actions, your trying to use me as a scape goat to take the blame off you, but you know what? I own up to my actions, i apologize when necessary, i genuinely want to better myself when i fuck up. And i dont use my mental health or my disorders as a sheild, i explain them when it’s necessary to the situation so dont twist that against me because it’ll only make you more of an asshole

Finally, people arent defending me because i have autism, people arent defending me because im “helpless” people are not defending me because i cant control myself or for any reason your describing, people are defending me because someone blatantly publicly threatened me with no basis and continued to harrass me and bully me into submission. To keep saying people are defending me because i have autism is not only offensive to me as a person with autism, its offensive to the whole ass community, we can take care of ourselves, just because we’re different doesnt mean you can pick our strengths and weaknesses apart and force an identity upon us

So before you make another post trying to further pin everything on me and make more shitty comments against me to justify yourself, consider that maybe you actually fucked up

And for the record, you keep saying i fucked up and im deflecting and i got called out, no one has told me how i fucked up, no one has told me why i apparently deserve this, so how the fuck do you expect me to apologize for actions i did that you wont tell me about. I cant apologize for things i didnt know offended or hurt you, not unless you downright tell me that it hurt you, im not a mind reader, and publicly shaming me isnt going to change that

Thank you.

[tulipscomeinallsortsofcolors]

Violet, creating an intricate universe where the roceit relationship is literally the most toxic fucking thing ever: Yes, you see, I actually love roceit. This is how I show my love. /j

alksjdlkajsd LISTEN dont call me OUT

but on a slightly more serious note (forgive me for going all infodumping-laoft-meta on your joke), its impossible to write a realistic abusive relationship with a ship that has absolutely no redeeming qualities whatsoever. 

you have to be able to believe the person could have fallen in love, right? someone who’s scum from day one isn’t going to ever successfully get people in a position where theyre too in love to leave when they really, really should.

people can write whatever they want obviously, it none of my business, but its just a personal “ehhhhhh” of mine when i read abusive relationships in fic where its just constant 24/7 nightmare mode, because while I’m sure there are real-life situations very close to that, and that sometimes it feels like that, its not actually how the cycle of abuse works

all of which i guess is a really long and roundabout way of me saying that the parts of Princeit-In-A-Vacuum that i like best, are also the part of Princeit-In-LAOFT that make it such a shitshow. 

like, Canon Deceit’s talent for sweet compliments and Canon Roman’s need for validation do not inherently make up an unhealthy dynamic, and in fact could make up a very reciprocal and healthy relationship. But it’s VERY easy to take those two things and stretch hem like taffy into something deeply fucked up.

LOAFT-Princeit is Canon Princeit in a horror movie funhouse mirror, basically. 

[collxpsedhexrt]

Matchup tingsss 🥺👉👈

just a warning i type this in a shit post format bc im too scared to talk about myself in a grammatically correct manner because i hate myself

huge note: my type is BIG w big ol shoulders and big and tall and did i mention big so yeah cuddles ok thanks bye i also updated a photo of me- bc i suck at describing my appearance

👀

👄

ok so anyways lets a gO

NOTE: i dont label my sexuality sorry idc who to swing for ion like swinging i like hugging thanks ok bye also im EXTREMELY mentally and emotionally unstable haha ok thanx 🥺😳💅

꧁𝙰𝚙𝚙𝚎𝚊𝚛𝚊𝚗𝚌𝚎꧂

I am 163cm and 190lb (I am also very peculiar about knowing my exact measurements, height, and weight all the time?? Confusion???)

I am one pasty ass bitch despite being (excuse the lele pons moment) LaTiNa👁👄👁,,, I have very long warm black hair that is either wavy or borderline kinky curls no in between,,,, I have amber eyes and have FrEcKlEs everywhere but not like super intense,,, i could probably put a photo (and i will at the end-) bc idk how to describe my ugly ass morbidly obese bleached walrus headass face tbh??

Not to be an annoying basic bitch but i supposedly have an hourglass figure but im more plump so ig i have a more motherly appearance- idk tbh my body dysmorphia says i look like patrick star on my 600lb life so lets get poggers in the chat, tea?? tea sis?? who’d knock me tf up im ugly doe ahaha 👁👄👁

꧁𝙿𝚎𝚛𝚜𝚘𝚗𝚊𝚕𝚒𝚝𝚢꧂

hngh i never stop apologizing- even if u knock me down multiple times ill keep going back to you and forgiving you, and thats on daddy issues

im an empath and like a lot of spiritual stuff like tarot and stuff,,, wont get too into it bc im inexperienced

GIFTED.CHILD.BURNOUT.

also bc i like gaming i can be “one of the bros” and tbh i LOVE being a semi-stereotypical jock-like gamer boy like “oHH YEASAH *crushes soda can on my head* GAMING TIME BOOOYYYYSSS” and i kinda forget im a girl sometimes bc i (gross warning) can like,,, burp wit da bois 😳👉👈,,,,

I am an INFJ-T (the T means im a shitshow!) and ion wanna get too much into my uh,,, issues w/ eating,,,, but basically lets say it causes a lot of dizziness on my end but like im still obese so its ok lol

also im like,,,,, the runt of the group like literally nobody likes me (at least thats what i tell myself aHEM-)

and also i have eXTREEEEEEEME trust issues like holy fuck nobody can catch a break

Oh shit wait i should say idk what i am in terms of sexuality literally nothing fits me ahaha but i am an afab female lady girl as far as i know bc im not currently in a safe place to explore these things, Jimbo!

also im so sorry for being messy im spacing things out so it can be an organized mess im so so sorry i love you anf thank you for taking your time to read this i love you and appreciate you!!

I am a libra sun, and a pisces moon and rising so that means im a crybaby bitch but to the third power (^3)

oh shit yeah im also a hufflepuff

basically i like to make everyone laugh and im not good with serious shit but when it comes down to it sometimes i can take on a maternal role when comforting friends but u will never get me to admit it..... wait-

꧁𝙷𝚘𝚋𝚋𝚒𝚎𝚜꧂

ART ART AND MORE ART OH MY GOD FUCK OH GOD OH FUCK SO MUCH ART- im specifically into the character design and i actually plan on going into game development in coolegg

👁👄👁👉👈

i havent sang seriously in like,,,, years tho bc my choir teacher kicked me out the choir bc my brother was having a life saving surgery the day of a performance anD I NEVER FORGOT IT KAREN. meaning ion let shit go like that bc im an insecure and emotionally broken biTCH

ok i love games- from little big planet, outlast 1/2, detroit become human, beyond two souls, TO OVERWATCH YES I LOVE YOU OVERWATCH, and aminal crossigng uwu

ok so anyways i mean yeah uh,,, i also like writing poetry sometimes and writing but im like yuri (ddlc) and cant help but be borderline pretentious with using over complicated words despite my shit grammar here lol

but yeah

i also live on a farm and i love taking care of my chickens duckies turkies andn pheasants mvmvmbm,,,, i lvoe themn,,,,fhfjdjd,,, OMG I USED TO HAVE GOATS AND GUINEA HENS BUT FUCKINGNG CORONA VIRUS MADE IT HARD TO CARE FOR THEM SO WE HAD TO SELL THEM AND HMMMMMMM ANGERY

but on another note i hav doggies and uwu!!! they v cute best dogeis ever 100/10 recommend these dogies,,,,

꧁𝙽𝚘𝚝𝚎𝚠𝚘𝚛𝚝𝚑𝚢 𝚃𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚜꧂

im a hermit and quarantine is just fun to me

I have a high pitched voice so my friends deemed me the god of anime voice thank u

But honestly i find my voice creepy, it’s as if my voice is ghostly and haunting. That’s in real life, but say we called on discord.... I’m loud and obnoxious but i always make people laugh, only when im on a call like that does my personality change so much.

im an amazing host tbh,,, “Hey- I have tea, coffee, coffee with foam, water, milk, juice, soda, and i could make you some food!” “Do you want some popcorn? Are you sure? Do you need a blanket? Would you like for me to turn on the humidifier?” I WILL SPOIL PPL ROTTEN WITH LOVE AFFECTION FOOD AND DRINKS GALORE

“hhnngh,,, maybe if im good enough of a host it will fill the void,,,”

oh also i have a weird accent bc im puerto rican

👁👄👁✨

UPDATE: ADDED LIKES/DISLIKES!!! and love tings

꧁𝙻𝚘𝚟𝚎꧂

my love language is physical touch mainly but i can channel it through making food n stuffs uwu

I rarely if ever fall in love. but when i do, i crash hard. I become putty in the person’s hands, willing to take (metaphorical) beating after beating and insults and cruelty just for their love to be reciprocated. I become totally helpless and obsessive, memorizing their schedule and things they like. Treasuring every memory of when we can be physically close to one another, platonically or not... I become my “best self” and my performance rate drastically increases, but my mental state drastically decreases. I become horribly depressed and anxious, always making meticulously calculated movements and always showing that im willing to support them with everything.

I particularly have a thing for tall guys with big shoulders.

꧁𝙻𝚒𝚔𝚎𝚜/𝙳𝚒𝚜𝚕𝚒𝚔𝚎𝚜꧂

OK THIS IS UNDERRATED BUT I LOOOVE PEWDIEPIE PLEASE DONT HATE ME I JUST LOVE HIS HUMOR ANDN,,,,, 🥺👉👈

god i just- idk i have mixed feelings abt amberlynn reid bc obviously shes super hurt n stuff but shes done so much crap i just HNNGNHH,,,, ANGERY,,, but i show support sometimes but i aint ever giving her my money by subscribing

I also like (cue the angry mob) fnaf-

homestuck and harry potter r also LIFE

i dont like when ppl are egotistical unless theyre charming,,,, bc if theyre charming i 100% feed their ego.

i HATE when people do self destructive things (IM A FUCKING HYPOCRITE) like “NO- nO dont fRICKIN do that- BAD. here, let me make you some food...”

anyways heres that promised picture if this ugly mug

[scandeniall]

ri’s self ship

Self ship tag:

Listen I was tagged by mother Sam @samwrights almost 3 weeks ago and this shitshow has been sitting in my notes since then. To the point where the original tag is long gone in my notifications so I cant even the low it 😭

Anyways let me clear this out and say I ship me with my original number one hq boy: Kuroo

Alrighty eye suppose

Ok so me and kuroo most definitely met our first year of college. First day of class in some random ass gen ed like history yeah that works. And y’all know how profs be like “get to know the person next to you and exchange numbers.” Now I’m like—- wow he’s hot but I know how to play it cool. Anyways so we do a quick intro and then he complements my hair

“I like the decorations,” and I do my general awkward but friendly laugh and say thanks. Anyways that’s how it starts. We finish that awkward ice breaker where it’s like “tell your neighbor why you’re taking this class” and bc we’re both sarcastic dummies it’s like “bro cause it’s fucking required”

Anyways it’s now class two and I’m one of them bitches who gets to class early (in the beginning of the year) bc I like picking my seat. So the seat I picked was in the middle row off near the end on the first day so I sit there again and then kuroo comes back and I’m shook bc i didn’t expect him to sit back there. /Alright so ima use an example of how I met one of my guy friends this past year/ so let’s say this is one of them annoying ass classes where there’s like some mini assignment due every class. So kuroo suggests how about we take turns doing the assignment and sending the other the answers. And I’m like yeah ok I could use that break every other day. So yes that’s how we get each other’s numbers

So that’s basically how the first half of the semester goes. Over time we both make some slight convo with other ppl in our class around us but still sit our unassigned assigned seats next to each other. But now it’s nearing midterms. And at this point yeah I dont come to class early anymore like I’m there like 5 minutes before but history class bro kuroo always makes sure a seat next to him is saved bc at this point he knows I’m like rushing.

Anyways I nearly knock him out with my big ass bag as i squeeze past him in these tight ass aisles and he’s all dramatic saying I’m trying to kill him and got me laughing but also frantically apologizing. Anyways he’s like “yo do you wanna study for this exam together.” I love friends but I’m actually so shy so I say yeah and we make a plan. We’re gonna link like 3 times before the exam next week. The first time being that same night.

Alright so we go about the rest of our day until it’s like 8pm and we’re both done with our own other club commitments and stuff so I’m like walking around the library looking for him slightly nervous bc attractive ppl make me nervous and we’re meeting up for the first time outside of class. I walk around in a circle like 3 times until his y’all ass pop up behind me (note I’m 5’0). “Didn’t see you there” and I’m one of them bitches that be like “woooooooow ok”

Anyways we find a little table in the back of the crowded library and yeah the first 20 minutes were not doing shit. We pull out our laptops and notes but really we’re just talking. He’s the type to as you about your day and since I’m like perpetually tired I’m like “yeah I’m ready for bed I just got out of a meeting and it was sooooo long.” And then we actually kinda find out one another’s campus involvements and he finds out I’m in a retail and food club and I find out he plays for the intermural volleyball team and his a science loser

Anyways yeah from there our friendship blooms and continues on into the following semester where we sign up for another two gen eds together and I end up meeting his old high school friend y’all and watching them mfs argue is the funniest shit. I’m always catching their dumb arguments on Snapchat

Yeah let’s fast forward to our junior years. Over the past 2 years our friendship grew from platonic to just flirtatious friends and by now we’re flirtatious friends whose touches linger just a lil longer to be platonic. By this time we’re both living in apartment buildings (it ended up being the same one) and are both hella busy with upper level classes and both have like 5 campus involvements plus jobs.

Whenever we see each other one of us is always like half dead. But we still find time to hangout even though it’s mostly at one of our apartments. Since we live in the same building and kuroo is in a bigger 3 bedroom over my 2 I tend to go upstairs to his more often.

So Its like 9pm on a Thursday night and i don’t have Friday classes and I’m finally home for the day and as soon as i shower put in my comfy sweats, wipe off my eyebrows and put on and bonnet here comes kuroo FaceTiming me. Yes we’re at the point in our friendship where we only answer with half of our faces. “You don’t have any other friends come keep me company”

Bc he’s hit and my friend I’m like yeah whatever and go up the 2 floors to his place and he’s literally at his desk doing homework. “You made me get out of bed to watch you do homework” and he just does that stupid smirk before telling me I can just chill on his bed. So listen I think he’s the type to keep his room fucking freezing so I’m like getting under his covers and he asks me to play dj.

Now ok my music taste is all over the place but my main genre is rnb so yeah. Kuroo knows this and over the years I put him on to a lot of it so yeah I’m gonna turn on Brent faiyaz and he’s just over at his desk working and vibing. He tells me he likes my music taste (and bc I throw in a lil bit of everything for him)

As two Scorpio’s were both used to lowkey subtly making people do what we want them to do. So like it’s the cat and mouse type game with us and we keep tryna make the other person take it further

We don’t even know when we start dating shit it’s just one day “y’all dating?” “Yeah” so much for an anniversary date

I’d hang out with him way too much bc my lack of friends is sickening. And I like doing random shit so let’s go to the park at 3am and hope we don’t get in trouble

I’m hungry at 3am let’s go a store that’s open 24 hours and deliriously roam the half stocked aisles

At this point kuroo just invites himself over on my Sunday wash days bc he knows that shit is gonna taken hours. ESPECIALLY when I’m taking my braids out

Kuroo the type of bf to help me take my braids out and not be completely grossed out at the dirt residue from the hair style. “Baby what if I put this under a microscope” yeah he’s disgusting though

He’s also the bf to try and help me detangling every time but my scalp is v sensitive so at some point I’m just like “yeah I’m gonna need you to STOP”

We’re both chaotic is this even a relationship or are we just besties? I’m that annoying friend that tries to record everything but he’s so tall in comparison to me that he gets cut off the camera half the time

We’re both annoying and stay ready with witty comebacks so we playfully bicker way too much but it’s fun and we’re still inseparable

Idk what I’m doing here so ima end and sum up and say kuroo best boy. Best boy also dates and is your best friend and that is LITERALLY my vibe 110%

idk im very late to this trend so um i tag anyone who wants to do this