#also gimme more easter eggs

[trashmouth-richie]

𝐬𝐮𝐠𝐚𝐫 𝐨𝐧 𝐦𝐲 𝐭𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐮𝐞 — eddie x fem reader (7.1k)

summary: 2011– your roommate drags you to a frat party and ditches the second she sees the guy she’s been fucking. left by yourself, you meet someone by accident, someone who isn’t in the fraternity 

warnings: smut, underage drinking, p in v, unprotected sex, grinding, dancing, eddie is trying to be cocky but he’s just awkward and silly

notes: i had a blast deep diving back into my hs and college days to reminisce with this. i hope if you were growing up during this time you can giggle along with me. love youuu oooh! also i hid some easter eggs in here (they’re not hidden at all)

The basement was steamy, and not in a ‘oh it’s a little warm in here but more like, every single person is drunk off their ass and the walls are sweating’kind of way.

College was everything you’d hoped it to be and more.

Your roommate, Kenzie was the type of girl who had an ‘open closet’ policy letting you wear her clothes almost more than your own. You weren’t too keen on sharing a dorm room with a girl you’ve never met before, but thankfully—you had gotten lucky. 

You had heard the horror stories from your older sister about her terrible roommate freshman year and you worried for most of the summer that you’d strike the same type of fortune. It wasn’t until you got a friend request on Facebook and a cheery little message : 

[Kenzie Walmen 2:07 PM: heyyyy roomie (;] 

that you knew you had nothing to worry about. 

She was from the west coast in sunny California, that bright western sky seeped deep into her personality. Kenz was sun kissed and bright haired, pretty ocean dipped eyes to give her the All-American type of aesthetic that most girls wished for. And maybe it was her laid back disposition, or her thrill for living it up and every hour of the day— that landed you here tonight at Delta Kappa Sigma. 

It wasn’t your scene.

You weren’t shy or new to getting drunk, you had even been so brave to take the occasional hit from a homemade bong in your neighbors dorm a few times, but the frat parties were known for their out of control Project X style of getting shitfaced. 

And something about guys with too much testosterone and too much Adidas cologne made your skin crawl and not in a good way. 

“Prints always look weird on me,” you grumble into the mirror eyeing your curves in a leopard lace tank top and black skirt, “is it too much?” 

Kenzie adjusts her off-the-shoulder top, adding a bit of shimmer powder to her exposed shoulder, “absolutely not, if anything it’s not enough.” Neon feathers decorate her bouncy curled hair as she eyes you in the mirror, “add that silver chunky necklace, and you’ll look bomb.” 

She was right, the necklace really pulled the entire look together, and if it were Halloween weekend you could even pass as a Spice Girl or maybe Snookie. 

“Sooo, is Steve gonna be there tonight?” You ask elongating the vowels in the aforementioned name, followed by some kissy faces and porn worthy moans. 

Kenzie rolls her eyes, a dusting of pink warming her cheeks, “yeah… about that. He said he has a “surprise” for me when I get there, so if I disappear, I’m just with him, okay?” 

“Wait wait wait—” you protest, holding a death grip clutch on a bottle of UV blue. “We aren’t even at the party yet and you’re already planning on ditching me?” 

— 

And that’s what got you here, a little more than drunk, holding a piss warm Green apple flavored Four Loko to your mouth, leaning against the corner basement wall in hopes to maybe disappear, wishing you were anywhere but in this cesspool of basement. 

The “DJ” (a frat guy wearing neon glasses with bars across them, scrolling through an ipod and a playlist more than likely named ‘Get Crunk’) was playing Kid Cudi, again. Everyone was screaming along to the chorus like he personally wrote it for them and their experience at college. A headache was brewing behind your eyes as the beat thumped loudly into your chest and radiated to your temples. 

Kenzie left almost immediately upon arriving. Swooped up and tossed over the broad shoulder of Steve the minute he answered the door. You laughed and shook your head, imagining how she was probably face down in navy cum stained sheets by now. 

The hours she spent on her hair and makeup went to waste, only being seen by the dead catalog eyes of Playboy’s finest from their pinned positions on the walls of Steve’s shared bedroom. 

Another sip from the overly carbonated beverage has you shuddering, the fiery ripple of fruit flavored [vomit] alcohol scouring through you like lava, causing your face to screw into a disgusted look.

How can people drink this shit? 

Your bladder screams at you to break the seal, demanding to find relief, immediately. The black lights were zero help in disguising if there were any doors that might lead into a bathroom. Pushing from the wall and taking the last hot sip from your drink, you navigate your way to the stairs. 

A table holding lone solo cups in formation from a forgotten beer pong game is now the proud owner of your empty can.

Weaving through the jungle of fist pumping douchelords and tipsy sorority girls making out for risqué facebook pics labeled [*~Freshman Y3ar!~*] you finally emerge from the sweaty pits of fraternity hell and climb the beer stained steps to the main floor. 

The monotonous beat from the music thumped a little less loudly up here, as if the noise was absorbed by the maroon colored carpeting and the oak cabinets in the foyer. 

The house was dated, decorated with a clash of orangey dark wood mixed with emeralds, dark reds and gold. As if this house was based out of Tuscany instead of midwest nowhere— complete with the rubbery fake fruit and vines that stood solely to collect dust. 

You had never been here before and didn’t know where in the hell to start looking to find the bathroom, and like Alice, you figured you might as well try every door knob in this type of Wonderland. 

The first door you peeked into looked like it was a formal dining room, but instead sat a television on the great oval table blasting obnoxiously loud as a pornstar moaned ripples of “pleasure” through her pink pout. Above her was an extremely tanned guy rocking a set of hard abs, thrusting in a slow rhythm that didn’t match her orgasm. 

A snicker slips from your lips and you gently pull the door closed with a small click, loud whoops and whistling from what you could only assume were a couple of frat guys erupt behind the door.

Watching porn together. 

You’ll have to add that to your growing list of things you didn’t know about the brotherhood behind a fraternity. 

The second door looked more hopeful as it was adjacent to the kitchen area. Upon nearly peeing down your leg, you were shocked stupid when you yanked the door open to find a closet housed with cleaning supplies. 

What the fuck? 

How could a frat house not have a bathroom? 

Your bladder squeezed in on itself and you were certain you couldn’t hold it any longer. Just short of giving up on this quest of relief and going back to your dorm, a gaggle of girls run down the steps leading to the top floor, where you could only assume the bedrooms were. 

“…why are frat bathrooms always so fucking dirty?!” 

Bingo.

Hustling up the never ending carpeted stairs, your bladder was on the brink of exploding as you shoved past a wooden door with a paper sign that read, “no jerking off in the shower!! pipes are clogged!” 

Your sandals clapped along the sea foam tiles floors as you slipped into one of the many metal stall doors. With a swift hike of your skirt up to your middle and pull of your panties, you were finally able to pee. 

A choir of angels sang the HallelujahHallelejuah chorus as you went and you sighed in relief that you had made it. 

“..yeah yeah, okay asshole,” a loud voice sounded from just outside the bathroom door frame, “you still owe me from last time,” the voice now echoed as it hit against the tiles and cement block walls, “no, payment is cold hard cash buddy, I don’t care if you have to dip into your trust fund.”  

A pair of black docs stomp into the tiled bathroom, nearing the stall you were in. There's no way he’ll come to this stall. 

“Tell daddy that you need more money for polos or Jordan’s— I really don’t give a fuck, but you need to pay the fuck up.” 

But as fate would have it…and in your hurry to get to the toilet before pissing all over yourself… and forgetting to lock the door in your haste… the stall door swings wide open— revealing a very bottomless you, to a pair of very wide dark, deer-in-the-headlight eyes. 

A beat that feels like an eternity passes, his hand is choked against his belt in a yank to unthread it, his phone wedged between his shoulder and ear. Your hands fly to cover yourself the best you can, panties still at your ankles, skirt still around your midsection. 

It’s all yells and screams with this random guy stumbling over himself dropping his phone on the ground and spewing, “Shit! Sorry! Sorry!” and you yelling for him to shut the fucking door already. 

His apologies don’t stop as he pulls the door closed, and from the other side of it as you pull up your underwear and adjust your skirt. 

“I swear! I didn’t think anyone was in there! I promise!” 

Your face burns in embarrassment as you contemplate melting into the floor and becoming one with the poorly aimed piss stains and the dirty grout. As good as that sounds you still have to leave, you still have to pass the guy who just saw your bare vag and you still have to navigate your way out of here. 

His phone lays face down on the floor, and you pray it isn’t broken for his sake. You pick it up, flipping it over to see that it scathed by with just a fine crack from one corner to another. His screen saver is a picture of a group of guys in a skatepark in the dark, smoke billowing thickly to cover their faces as they stand on the boards, the one with dark longer hair is shirtless, and painted with tattoos. 

“Shit,” you breathe quietly, “your phone is cracked.” 

You can see the shadows of his feet pacing back and forth but when you speak they stop, “oh..,” he mumbles, clearing his throat a bit, “umm, yeah, no biggie it was broke like that already.” 

“You sure?” 

“Yeah— hey, if you wanna slide that under the door I can um, let you ..ahem.. finish up in there.” 

Shit. Duh he needed his phone, and you were just holding it hostage in here as your shame hung thickly in the air. God this might really couldn’t get any fucking worse.

A deep breath in through your nose, you fake a mask of confidence and open the stall door. 

You hadn’t gotten a good look at him when he barged in on you, but now in the fluorescent dust covered light you dared to look a little longer at him. 

Long locks of honeyed brown locks fell onto the tops of his shoulders, covered with a green plaid flannel that hung open showing his neck and a flick of dark lines from a tattoo hidden under a black band tank top. His eyes were just as brown, round and flocked with a grove of thick lashes. Clearly he was the shirtless one in his background picture. 

He smiled sheepishly, pulling his jaw taunt as he averted his gaze to the toe of his boots, noticing your hand stretched out before him to give him back his phone, he glanced at your face, skimming his hand over your palm.

“Thanks— uh…” he started, shifting his weight to lean back against the many rows of sinks, “sorry again, I promise I don’t normally walk in on ladies using the facilities.” 

His eyes met yours and you instantly felt a heat run to your throat, his lips were impossibly plump as he drew them into a tight smirk. 

Fuck are those dimples? Of course they were. God he’s so pretty. 

You smile, “normal people lock the stall, but I was in a hurry… well I was lost!” you exclaim in a huff, fully hands on hips annoyed, “why the fuck would the bathroom be on the top floor?” 

You asked him incredulously like he should know. But on second thought…

“uhh… I dunno,” he shrugs, sliding his phone into the front pocket of his light wash colored jeans, not even looking at the broken screen as he leaned back again, “I’m not exactly an architect.”  

“But you live here?” you question, turning on the sink to wet your hands, “haven’t they ever thought of putting even a half bath on the main floor?” 

He rumbles out a laugh that makes your cheeks tingle, your buzz still in full force, “nah, you got it all wrong, I’m not a member of the ‘fraternity brotherhood of Alpha Mega Steroid’”, he jokes with air quotes, smiling wide when your lips tick up at the ends. “But I am a frequent guest, of sorts…”

This guy seemed to be one of those people who can make a nun blush, witty and dripping with a sexual charm that radiated from him like a ray of fucking sunshine. And fuck that grin of his. You’re in trouble. 

“Ahh, okay,” you banter back easily, shaking your hands to dry them since there were no paper towels in sight, “which one is your boyfriend? Let’s see I know.. Kyle? I think is his name, reddish hair, kinda feminine hands, or are you fucking Steve because I gotta say, I think my roommate might be giving you a run for your money right now.” 

Eddie’s eyes light up, a quirk in his brow as he asks, “Blonde girl? Kinda naive, head over heels for that mop of perfectly styled hair? Shit, what’s her name…Kelly? Kitten? She’s your roommate?” 

Of course he would know her, Kenzie knows everyone, and seems to leave a kind of impression on people that you envied. As bright as she shined, you were the shadow behind her. 

“Yeah,” you say, not hiding your annoyance, remembering how you got into this predicament in the first place. 

Eddie looks just as pissed as you’re feeling, “Oh, Stevie boy and I will be having words later on his lack of tact. They’re the reason why I was out wondering the halls like a fuckin’ ghost in a haunted mansion.” 

He takes note that you’re in the same boat he’s in but in your case, it’s a little worse, being a girl alone in a frat house never ends well. 

“I’m Eddie, uhh…designated dealer,” he says in almost a whisper, “for the deep pocketed asshoels full of daddy’s money.”

You connect a few dots, realization hitting hard in your frontal lobe from conversations you’ve kind of listened to from Kenzie about Steve. 

“Ahh, okay… now that you mention it, Kenz has talked about you before. You’re Steve’s old friend, Munson? I thought she meant like a forty year old or something.”

He laughs, loud and belly rolling like, “nah, minus a twenty from that. Steve and I are just close friends ‘s all… and no, not boyfriends.” 

You laugh then, all bubbly and light hearted that has his own skipping beats. Saying your name, he repeats it, a little grin on his face that he tries to hide, “mm that’s cute.” 

“Cute?” you question, an eyebrow raised as you fold your arms in on themselves, poking a hip out. 

“Yeah… cute,” he says standing fully and peering down at you, “your name is very fitting for you.” 

You roll your eyes playfully at his flirty words. Even though your stomach is somersaulting at the way his eyes seem to drip from heaven when he looks at you, your cheeks heating beneath his gaze.

“Is this the part where we exchange our hometowns and majors, because I’d rather get run over than do that right now.” 

Eddie chuckles, “oh yeah, well I’m actually here on an athletic scholarship.” 

“Really?” you question, eyebrows cocked in disbelief. 

“Yes!” Eddie jokes back, trying to bite back a smile, “if you must know it’s for Tennis, but please don't bother me for an autograph. I'm just trying to be a normal guy tonight.” 

“Noted.” You giggle, admiring the way this banter is coming so easily, maybe it was the liquid courage taking over or the fact that he was actually fun to talk to— either way, this night is starting to take a turn for the better.

“So, what does a Tennis star/designated rich boy drug dealer usually do at these kinds of things besides bursting in on girls using the bathroom?” 

He smiles, dipping his chin and looking at you through those impossibly thick lashes. Pushing off the sink he asks, “Sell a little here and there, sometimes dip into my own stash…what do you usually do at these things?” 

“Well,” you tease, twisting on the ball of your foot and heading towards the door out to the hallway, “I’m not usually at these things.”

“Ohh my god,” Eddie preens in his best valley girl/ Kourtney Kardashian impression, “you’ve never been to frat party!?” 

You smile, at his stupid joke, “Noo, I haven’t actually. Kenzie drug me out for a little pick me up after we bombed our History midterm, to…y’know— live it up— YOLO, all that.”

“Okay okay, letting off some steam after the stress of class, I get it...school was never a cake walk for me either.” 

“Yeah! But then your friend snatched her up, and since I don’t know anyone here… I was doing a very impressive wall flower guise, until my bladder interrupted that… and then a guy barged in on me in the bathroom.” 

Eddie stalks towards you, his eyes roving over your body, “Well… now you know me, soo Miss Lady Wallflower,” he cracks, “shall we descend to the basement and keep this party going?” 

His infectious smile stretches wide, practically ear to ear and you find yourself grinning just as wide, trying to twist your lips to at least hide your enthusiasm a little bit but goddamn— something about the way those dimples compliment the fucking christmas twinkle in his eyes.. ugh. 

He was trouble. The kind you had always craved but never dabbled in. But when in Rome…

“Lead the way.”

—

Eddie had made a pit stop in the large kitchen before returning to the basement. 

“Now sweetheart,” he purred, fishing around the shelves, of a pantry, moving cans of food and bags of chips, “I didn’t plan on drinking more tonight, but I’m not gonna let you drink by your— aha!” 

Eddie stands upright, brandishing a large box of saltine crackers. Your eyebrows furrow in response and he bows low, puts his hand inside the box, “I present to you, Stevie’s not so secret hiding spot,” pulling out his hand, his fingers are wrapped around a bottle of Burnett’s Vodka.  

Your eyes widen with devilish glee as you smirk, “how did you know it’d be there?” 

Eddie unscrews the cap and puts it to his lips for a long six second pull. 

You weren’t watching the way his throat bobbed and gulped when he swallowed each burning swig. Nope, not at all. You definitely weren’t memorizing each valley of cords and muscles as a single drop fell to his sharp chin and jaw. Never, not you!

And you weren’t holding your breath right along with him only breathing when those fucking glorious thick lips popped clean from the mouth of that bottle… his lips shiny from the bitter alcohol like a gloss you desperately need to lick clean. Yeah… no. that was not you…

So it’s only fitting when he speaks hoarsely and clears his throat that you are snapped back to the moment, your core keeping its own pulse. 

“He’s been keeping vodka in the same box in a food pantry since we were in high school, guy is the most unoriginal bastard I know,” he shrugs, wiping his lips with the back of his hand, and you can’t help but almost pout in the wasted opportunity. 

His eyes meet yours and they look just as hungry as you were feeling. He smirks crookedly and you practically flatline from the depth those molasses colored eyes hold. He moved first, inching towards you like a wolf stalking its prey, your pretty chapstick smile daring him to come closer. 

But the fuse between you is snuffed out cold as a crying girl erupts from the basement steps, her gaggle of friends helping calm her down as they leave the house. 

Eddie shakes his head and clears his throat as if he was just as bothered by you as you were of him. Turning towards the fridge he asks, “I’m sure they’ve got some Sunny D you can chase this with if that’s cool?” 

—

The basement proved to be in the same situation you had left it in: hot, sweaty, sticky. 

“Fuck,” Eddie breathes hotly behind you, loud enough to hear him above the music, “it’s like a furnace down here, no wonder that girl was crying.”

You lead him to the corner you were tucked in before, your drink still sitting on the beer pong table. By the way he is standing you can tell that this really isn’t his scene either, but after a while of passing the vodka and orange juice back and forth between you, he seems to loosen up a bit. His shoulders relax as his back leans against the wall next to you. 

Eddie’s words slurring together as his stories became more and more animated, and you giggle along, never taking your eyes off of him. Completely enamored. 

Your stomach burned with a flurry of butterflies when a few of his clients came up to him to buy, each more nervous than the next. Eyeing you suspiciously, questioning if you were some sort of a narc. 

Eddie stepped ahead of you, his shoulders squared and chest out to casually announce that you were cool and were with him. 

You didn’t know that he was waiting for you to object to it, to shove away from him and call him a pig for even assuming that you’d ever be seen with the likes of him besides in the dark, but you never did. 

Hours pass and the music just gets worse. Wiz Khalifa starts singing about colors and Eddie looks at the crowd of people grinding and rolls his eyes. 

The alcohol has you feeling tingly, a buzzing of flirtation sparks your blood and you are closer to Eddie than ever, the smell of his musky cologne and laundry detergent invade you.

Like any drunk girl, you start getting antsy, a little more touchy, and a lot more feely. Standing around isn’t cutting it anymore and you want to move, toss your hair back to some cheesy song, want to feel those hands you’ve been staring at all night run along your body as your hips move against him. 

Running your forefinger along the inside seam of Eddie’s flannel shirt, you look up at him through your lashes. 

“I’m assuming you’re not one to dance to a club remix?” 

Eddie watches your finger stroke up and down, your knuckles barely grazing his abdomen, but the small touch sending electricity to his spine. 

He leans into you, following your lead and pinching the hem of your skirt between his large fingers “you’d assume correct, the music I listen to is a little more head bangy than this.” 

“So,” you say coyly, pulling him towards you just a fraction more, “what you’re really saying is that you can’t dance.” 

Eddie scoffs, throwing his head back, his throat sticky with sweat and the hair by his ears wet and curling into ringlets, “oh I can dance my ass off honey, taught Channing Tatum everything he knows.” 

His hands find your hips, and you almost lose the little bit of confidence you have gained when the warmth of them seeps through your shirt, his blunt nails skimming your skin in small strokes.

“Do these little white lies masked as dorky ass pickup lines work for you?” Your hands are on his chest now, the black light illuminating each letter of his Deftones shirt to sparkle like snow beneath your fingers. 

“I don’t know,” he whispers into your ear, pulling you tight against him so your chest is pressed into his, “you tell me.” 

The music changes and a throwback song  

comes on, one you haven’t heard in years. 

“Guess you’ll have to show me those moves, because in typical drunk girl fashion… this is my song!” 

You grab Eddie’s hand and stomp to the middle of the floor, pulling him along with you until you’re shoulder to shoulder with other drunk and sweaty college kids. 

“Get low?” Eddie asks from behind you, his mouth dangerously close to the shell of your ear as his hands land heavy on your hips, “seriously?” 

Leaning your head back so your lips could reach him you talk loud enough just so he can hear you, “stop talking and fucking dance with me already.” 

“Goddamn…” he groans when you finally push your body fully back into him. 

It’s sloppy and horribly uncoordinated the way your drunken hips move beneath his hands. You’re both swaying along with the music, trying like hell to match the rhythm of everyone else around you. But in the tiny square footage you have in this cluster fuck of a space, Eddie has all the right moves. 

His palms are pressing you tighter into him, making sure you can feel just how hard he is, how hard you are making him. 

Courage and a few prom night dances under your belt have you dropping low and coming up slow, your skirt fanning out the tiniest bit as your knees are bent to the ground.

And Eddie is practically thanking God himself when you run the fattest part of your ass up his body, on the bunched denim by his shins, skimming the barely there fabric of your skirt against the hole in his knee, and finally up where he desperately needs your body the most. 

When you come back up he moves your hair from the side of your neck, his lips puckering around your earlobe as he nibbles lightly, “spin around so I can see you.” 

He groans again when you shake your head and laugh at his dismay, as much as he is turned on and bothered you are too, but the power of keeping him like this, teasing him with your body— turned you on even more. 

You snake your hands upwards seductively, landing daintily at the nape of his neck, twirling the wet tendrils of curls round and round pulling gently. Eddie hisses through his teeth, his hands roaming freely from your hips to your ribcage running them along the length of your sides, bruisingly hard. 

One minute you’re facing away from him, eyes closed in pleasure as he roves over your body, his lips pressed to your neck, and in the next he’s spinning you around so that you’re face to face— eyes locked on eachother, the heat and the alcohol and the endorphins are too much to handle. 

Your once labored breathing snuffs out to nothing when he leans in with licked lips his eyes fixated on your mouth. Standing. Staring. Staring and standing. You’ve had enough of this cat and mouse game. 

“Fucking kiss me alrea—”

His mouth with its plush pillow lips slam into you. He tastes like tart orange juice and a bite of alcohol. Like the way a summer day would taste if it were bottled up. He licks into your mouth and you whine for more of him, clutching onto his neck and pulling him further into you. 

When you break for air it’s loud, smacking lips and lapping tongues, tilting your heads to line up perfectly. When you twist yours again, Eddie holds onto your neck angling it just so with a glint of trouble in those whiskey eyes as he dives into the supple skin at the column of your throat. 

Sucking, swirling— his tongue is hot against you and you’re clutching onto his shoulders, your nails digging into the pilling fabric like he was the only thing keeping you Earthbound. 

You wiggle in his arms, squealing and whining out but he’s holding you tightly against him, moaning words into your neck that you can’t hear above the music. Then he’s on your mouth again, working you into a fit. His big veiny hands move along your back, grabbing your ass softly, then work up to wrap in your hair or lightly scratch at the inch of skin between your skirt and your tank top. 

Doing your own little damage to him, his shirt is shoved up over his chest, your fingernails trailing down his tattooed skin. A rise of goosebumps following in their tracks, and he stops kissing you to suck in a breath, your smile on his lips as you laugh and he whispers a breathy ‘fuuuuck’. 

Your fingers trail down to his waist band, tickling his skin as you suggest an idea with your eyes, one that you’re certain he would understand.

“C’mon,” he mouths, gesturing his chin to the exit as he slowly begins to pull you from the dance floor, up the stairs and into the kitchen area.

Eddie knew what he wanted. Knew it the second you walked out of that stall with that sweet fucking smile on your lips, shy and coy when he called your name cute, like you weren’t at all used to the type of attention he was giving.

And maybe you didn’t want this with him. Maybe you were a: ‘fuck-me-in-the-dark-so-I-won’t-be-embarrassed-by-being-seen-with-you’ type of girl, but you did dance with him, you laughed at his stupid jokes, stuck by him almost all night, but still he needed to be sure. 

He thought maybe in the brighter light you’d change your mind about what you wanted, what you needed from him, but you surprise him when you cling to his side, going up the steps, and backing into a wall pulling him with you by his shirt needily when you reach the top.

“D’ you uh..wanna get outta here?” he slurs, almost sleepily, his bangs fucked up beyond belief, his hair drenched and sticky with sweat and humidity, lips swollen red.

“My dorm isn’t far,” you say, looking up at him through your lashes running your finger along the waist of his jeans, “across campus.” 

Eddie chuckles, “fuck…” he sweeps a thumb over your pouted lips, groaning as he bites his own. “I’d crawl to fuckin’ Alaska for these, honey.” 

Your cheeks burn sweetly from his inebriated compliments. And even though you’re tipsy and so is he, you feel an odd sort of comfort with him—one you haven’t experienced before. 

“Let’s go then,” you whisper into his ear, “I want you inside me.” 

That did it for him. 

Eddie was all but running with you across the campus green, but not before taking off his long sleeved shirt and placing it over your shoulders murmuring how it was freezing and you’d probably get sick. 

Your combined laughter ricocheted off concrete forums and neatly trimmed grass. Passing by the fancy Chemistry Lab building, the Art Museum, the Med School and finally to your painted black brick dorm building: “Wheeler Hall” 

“Here’s home,” you sing out, placing your key into the door and pulling on the steel handle. 

The Wheeler Dorms were the newest addition to the college town. Named after a family that was killed in an accident back in the 80’s or something… you didn’t really remember what happened. 

The side door you had come in through was closest to your room, 011, on the first floor, again, the universe being kind to you. 

“Never been here before,” Eddie said looking around with wide eyes, “any of the dorms actually.” 

You smiled upon unlocking your room and entering, hanging up your keys on the command strip hooks by the door. Whatever confidence he had back at the party is now deflated a bit once he realizes just how different the two of you are. What the hell was he doing here? You’re in college, he’s only here because he deals. 

“Uhh..?” he questions, eyeing the lofted bed, “you know I was joking about being an athlete, right?” 

You giggle and toss your purse onto the futon, “relax, that’s Kenzie’s bed, mine is the shorter one.” 

“Oh thank fuck,” he practically sings letting out an over exaggerated sigh as he plops down on your futon, eyeing the leopard throw blanket, “I may look like a suave Casanova but I’m about as agile as Mr. Bean.” 

Laughter fills the room and you click on a lamp throwing the room into a cozy ambience as you slip off your sandals and sit on your bed, leaning forward, “you’re way hotter than him.” 

Eddie blushes a bubble gum pink sheen, using his still damp and unruly hair to cover his face, “keep being sweet on me see where it gets you.” 

“Is that supposed to be a threat, or a promise?”

“Oh baby, I don’t make threats, not to a girl that’s like you.” 

“Like me?” 

“Yeah you,” he deadpans, standing up and waltzing towards your bed, crowding you in, “funny, sexy, and by some greater power— digs me… at least I hope.” 

“I’m not the type of girl to bring a guy back to my place, Eddie,” you nearly whisper, putting a finger into his dangling necklace and pulling him forward, “you’d be the first.” 

Eddie places his hands next you on the bed, “like your first? Or just here in college first, I’m cool with either I just— are you sure you want this? I can leave if y—”

Cutting him off you kiss him, but not like the heavy kisses earlier when you two were making out like you were each other's oxygen masks, this one is sweet, like melted  sugar on Eddie’s tongue. 

“You talk too much,” you say with a warm smile, wrapping a finger around his curled ends of hair, “no more of that, just kiss me.” 

“Yes ma’am.” 

Eddie wraps his arm around your waist and shifts you up further into the bed, laying your head on a pillow his body pressed into yours. He takes his time with you, kissing your lips then your jaw, working his way down your neck to where the bruises he’s already sucked into your skin were painted. 

Your moans and little breathy sighs have him hard against his zipper, his hips bucking into the tiny fabric of your panties that’s covering up that sweet pussy he got a glimpse of earlier. 

His shirt is somewhere on the floor, you had pried it off of him between locked lips and groans of having to move your lips from his that earned you a throaty laugh from him and the sexiest eyes that drove into you with an intense ferocity. 

He lowers further down your body, kissing every inch, moving your tank top out of the way to eye your orange bra, his mouth between your cleavage, moaning about how orange is now his favorite color. 

Eddie’s everywhere all at once, a hand traveling up and down your thigh, from the crux of your knee to the waistband of your skirt, the other hand is popping your tits out from that new found favorite colored bra of his —smiling wickedly at your peaked nipples. 

You moan lustful bliss as his tongue circles each one, giving equal attention to both, “you like that?” he asks.

“Feels so good,” you whine, “more, please.” 

Eddie smirks with your nipple between his teeth, “don’t have to ask me twice.” 

You weren’t a virgin, but holy shit you felt as if you had never had sex before, well never sex like this. Eddie teased you with his fingers, his thumb rubbing your clit while his fingers pumped inside of you, each curling inward towards a place nobody has reached before. 

He groaned with his bottom lip tucked between his sharp bite rubbing his achy cock through his jeans when you pushed your skirt down laying there in a matching orange lacey thong, bedazzled on the hips. 

“Would it be corny if I say you look like a Goddess?” he asks sheepishly, pinching the stretching fabric around your hips, “because… wow.” 

You bite your finger as if you were really thinking hard on this, hiding a smile, “you’re too much, Munson.”

“Too much?” he scoffs, pulling down your panties and settling himself between your legs, “you haven’t even seen my dick yet.”

You sit up, tits out and naked from the waist down, “well by all means, show me.”

“Greedy girl,” Eddie smirks, “did you bring me here just to get me naked? I’m appalled!” 

You move to your knees, sitting upright a bit so your face is level with his. You kiss him softly, moving to his neck and sucking just right to pull those deep moans from him that make your knees shake. 

Feather light touches skate along the expanse of his chest, working down down down until you’re undoing his belt, thumbing open the button on his jeans and yanking down his zipper.  

When your hand slides between him and his boxer briefs,  Eddie hisses, watching you pump him slow and tight. The feel of your smooth palm against his velvety shaft makes him almost cum right there and then, it’s been awhile since the last time. 

But you’re not hesitating or questioning yourself and he isn’t either. It’s almost fluid like a rocking wave the way Eddie lays you down, a team effort to swiftly shove down his jeans so you can finally feel eachother where the desperation is needed most. 

Legs hiked over his hips, he lines himself up with your gummy slicked entrance. It’s a deep and achy stretch for you, a vice grip for him. The lazy gasping moans you both emit are drawn out, yours practically breathless. 

“Holy fuck,” you breath into his mouth as he peppers you with kisses. He drags his hips out at a measured pace, pushing in just as unhurriedly, enjoying the way your body adjusts, cuffing him like a glove. 

Eddie breaks away from your lips to watch your bodies join together, moaning your name as he presses his forehead on yours collecting your mouth with his. 

“Shit…This okay?” he asks earnestly, nipping at your ear. 

You nod in gasping silence, your eyes rolling into the back of your head as he speeds up. Your hands are skimming down his bareback, pressing him further into you with every thrust, begging him for more. 

He snakes a hand between you, rubbing circles in your puffy clit as he thrusts harder, trying to get you there before he loses all control. “Want you to feel good sweetheart, fuck— keep making those pretty little noises, you’re squeezin’ the hell outta me.” 

And he does. You cum hard around him, your walls fluttering and pulsing so fast you practically black out from the mixed pleasure of his fingers rubbing your clit and his cock stuffed in deep. 

His name falls from your lips in tiny little whines and he bucks into you a hard and final time before he groans, holding onto your headboard for support as he’s bottoming out, stringing rope after rope of hot spend inside of you. 

“Baby,” he whispers, “God—” he stops cold, realizing what he just did and what he didn’t do. “Oh shit, fuck fuck fuck! I didn’t pull out, I'm sorry! I’m so fucking sorry!

You laugh wickedly, your body shaking beneath him at his worried panicked face. 

He’s a babbling, out-of-breath mess, “’s not funny! I just got caught up in the moment and you felt so fucking good and I’m still a little dru—”

“Eddie, it’s fine,” you say, holding his cheeks with both hands squishing them together so his lips pucker like a fish, “I’m on the pill.” 

His face is still squished together when he speaks, “oh, well… okay.” 

“You’re fine,” you coo, coaxing him down from the ledge of regret and self hatred, “I—” you lean up and kiss him square on the mouth, licking into it and sliding your tongue against his, “I liked it.” 

His eyebrows disappear into his bangs and before he can open his mouth to speak you’re pulling him onto you kissing him deep and needy. 

The two of you end the night that way, him holding you, your hands in his hair, kissing so much your lips are chapped— never getting enough. Legs entangled together like a weaved basket. You fall asleep before he does, your little huffed breathing making his skin damp as you curl further into his chest. 

Wonder if Verizon is open tomorrow? He thinks when he remembers that his phone is definitely broke from it landing on the bathroom floor—but he’d never tell you that. 

He also wouldn’t tell you how he was supposed to go back to Steve’s tonight because they were leaving to see another old friend in California for the weekend— or how they needed to be at the airport by 2 AM for a 4 AM flight.  — or that Eddie was Steve’s ride because he lost his license in July. 

Nope.

He wouldn’t tell you any of it. None of that seemed to matter when you were sleeping so cute on his chest like that. 

When late morning comes you’re at it again, this time you’re riding him on the futon, slow like a twangy country song his hands rocking your hips. When you both finish you drag him to the showers, pumping some expensive shampoo into his hair and giggling when you tell him to be quiet so you won’t get caught. 

Steve called Eddie’s phone all night, and all morning, sending duplicate texts of rage, wondering where the fuck he had gone. 

Eddie silences the last call from Steve as you’re getting dressed, wearing a black pair of yoga pants and a zip up hoodie. He smiles when you offer to comb his hair, grabbing your wrist to pull you onto his lap kissing behind your ear. 

His voice is low, soothingly sweet and minty from your toothpaste as he asks, “can I take you to breakfast?” 

[themarysuep]

Do u hv any theories on why bucky would be working with valentina? Felt like his arc from falcon and winter soldier would make him more "good" rather than "gray area" and the fact that he hates john walker who will also be on the team

There's a definitely a lot of ways marvel could go with it. It could be like the current Thunderbolts comic run. So the team comes together to take down some Hydra boss through some dodgy means. And Bucky believes the end justifies the means. Bucky isn't gray area, but like a lot of heroes he may not hesitate to kill as much as Steve would. He's seen and done too much. Like in the current Thunderbolts run Sharon and Bucky are on the team, and Bucky says something like Steve wouldn't be happy she's on the team. Cos it's dodgy.

Valentina is obviously a liar and manipulative while holding a senior position (cia director) in the MCU, so I see how Bucky could give her a chance.

Or maybe Yelena informs him that Val is crazy so they're more interested in taking her down. Maybe Bucky even knows Yelena and her family bc the Red Room and Hydra worked together. Gimme that Buckynat easter egg.

The movie might also have two teams that eventually become one.

What do you think?

[versegm]

Also gimme the deets on Theatre AU!!

Oh BOY this is gonna be a long one. I am incapable of making a normal modern au i NEED these bitches to be freaks in some way I literally can't help it.

The cape Castoria finds is meant to be Saber's cape! The relationship between Castoria & anime girl king arthur would be way too long to explain in thsi post, but they're connected so I figured it would make a cute easter egg.

I considered having Castoria freeload below the deck instead, because I've personally never played in a theater that had storage rooms above deck, but I really wanted to keep the Phantom Of The Opera vibe so I just went fuck it.

Love my girl Castoria who is a paranoid little rat constantly looking for the closest escape route <3

I have no idea how to write Oberon I just imitated Herlock's speech pattern and crossed my fingers

Gray is in fact a different Fate character! the tl;dr of Gray is that she's a regular-ass human, but unfortunately she was born in a weird arthuriana cult, which lead to her body slowly turning into that of king arthur. She has issues with her face a lot because like, if your face shifted to become that of a perfect stranger wouldn't that be fucked up. Coincidentally, Castoria also has king arthur's face, though for arguably less angsty reasons.

The Night of Wallachia is another nasuverse character (technically from Melty Blood rather than any fate work tho.) I will redirect you to Lance's post as to whomst this man is though because I have yet to play Melty Blood myself.

Moly is a plant from Homer's Odysseus btw

Deep fucking sigh I fucking wish. I fucking wish we had more stories about the aftermath of isekai adventures, my man. I want to know what's it like to see someone with medieval wartime reflexes who just refuses to talk about shit. Anyways the entire Guda subplot is just me not being normal about isekais, as per usual.

So this scene was originally a lot longer, with Guda tricking Castoria into giving a lot more personal information (exact date of birth, last name) and ending with them taking a group selfie- all info they can use later on to forge her ID. But it was kinda boring so I just went the "Guda forges papers by winging it and she can't call them out on it without admitting that her own living situation is garbage" route.

Didn't put nearly as much foreshadowing as I would have liked, but it's meant to be a hint of "hey maybe Castoria straight-up created Oberon, cuz how else would he know so much about her?"

Castoria is so fucking gender.

You probably saw me posting about it, but Guda's canon age in fgo is kinda nebulous. At the beginning of the game they are definitely "below the drinking age," but it's mentioned/implied a couple times later on that no one knows how old they are now (I think Vritra? Has a voice line along the lines of "oh you don't drink because you don't know how old you are so you're just being safe by assuming it's below 21? ok") What time travel and time loops and being locked outside of time does to a mf.

The Guda-Castoria-Oberon banter is a fucking joy to write. Bitches who keep teaming up to dunk on the third one.

This bit was inspired by my sister, who has collected all six of her chairs on the streets.

SO FUNNY STORY. I didn't actually ship Castoria/Oberon going in. But like. There was no reason for me not to include them having weird sexual tension, especially considering I was gonna do that with GudaCas and ObeGuda. So I was like whatever I'll keep it ambiguous but I'm not closing any doors. And then like a fool I tricked myself into liking it. I literally never fucking learn.

Ultra mega shout out to my cosplayer friend for their extensive knowledge of how to make fantasy armor.

The Luik festival is in fact a real-life music festival.

Lance was the one to point out that in a way the theater au is a role reversal from canon. In canon, Castoria and Oberon are both painfully aware of what they are and what they need to do, while Guda is increasingly unsure as to what they want and why they want it. Meanwhile here Oberon and Castoria are desperately grasping at any hint as to what is wrong with them, while Guda is crystal-clear on their singular goal of "I need to get the fuck out of here."

I keep forgetting that sexual attraction is a thing so I tried to pay attention to it for once. Hope I didn't overdo it.

Something something you have to let go of your past or you will only end up hurting the people who are in your life now.

When you learn that your friend has been on a path of self-destruction and you are directly to blame bottom text.

I think I already said it, but my original outline was for the three of them to have incredibly violent sex post fight, and then an extra chapter of "mh. Perhaps we should talk about things actually." I remember I wanted the dialogue to go along those lines:

Guda: ok so maybe we should talk about things actually

Oberon: not talking about things worked just fine for us until now

Castoria: it literally did not

Oberon: cranky because hatesex is so much better than regular sex aren't you

Castoria: I wouldn't know, only ever had one of those two

Guda: wait, shit, was that your first time? Oh my fucking god. what the fuck. let me give you an actual proper kiss instead of whatever the fuck this was. Oberon, you kiss her too.

I rewatched a bit of lb6 for unrelated reasons recently and I'd. Completely forgotten that when they reunite with Mash at the end of part one they do in fact act like that.

Quote from the lesson of the moth!

Wanted to make it reminiscent of their first meetings, with Guda also dragging them through a door.

So yeah, that's my self indulgence! I had a lot of fun writing it :) I love... isekais.

[himbobuck]

I'm watching Sort Your Life Out (an organizing show) and now I can't stop thinking of Buck and Eddie officially moving in the home they bought together and there are a lot of boxes to go through and decisions to be made because there is not enough space for everything and the angst that would cause. It's easy to get rid of the doubles, they keep Eddie's couch (because it's history) and go for the best quality kitchen equipment (mostly Buck's as he had invested in better stuff since learning to cook from Bobby). Getting rid of the more generic items that come from the loft seems fairly easy and they're making progress. But the mood changes as they make progress. Buck having a lot of crates from storage that he had shipped over from Pennsylvania when he knew he was going to be staying in LA but he never bothered bringing them into the loft because that wasn't the place he was going to settle in (and for the lack of space). And as they're going through stuff and Eddie suggests what to keep and what to donate/sell, maybe holds two items at a time one in each hand, Buck is getting more and more upset and can't let go of the most random things. Like he will be getting tearful over a keychain that came out of a easter egg from the last easter they spent with their grandparents or over the little piggy bank that's peeling apart that he got as a party favour at his bff birthday when he was a kid or over a box of dinosaurs plasters that are yellowish and probably don't stick anymore because his dad bought them for him when he was covered in scraps and bruises from getting hurt again over the set of completely new still boxed up moon/sun mugs he bought when he was 16 thinking one day he was going to drink coffee from with the love of his life sitting at the kitchen table on a sunday morning. And he knows that they have already agreed to keep enough mugs and then these are fully packaged and would be much easier to sell even, but he just can't let go of them. Lots of tears and cuddles ensue (and he wakes up in the morning to the smell of coffee..)

more thoughts? A study published in Pyschotraumatol explains that, since humans are a social species, a history of interpersonal trauma or loneliness can push us to overcompensate, sometimes by buying and forming relationships with possessions instead. This stems from being unable to trust people and instead putting faith in objects, Yap explains. (x)

I know technically Buck had Maddie growing up but that doesn't mean this is not something that could happen (and potentially I'd say maybe Maddie did it too, or went the completely opposite way of getting rid of everything except the most sentimentally valuable things - she did only have two suitcases when she ran away from Doug). I can see Buck using things as a mean of comfort, both random little things he had (not carefully chosen important things from his childhood that his parents didn't bother keeping for a baby box - assholes!!) but also things he accumulated for an imaginary/ideal future the used to dream about - the mugs, but also maybe a picture frame he could see himself displaying in the living room etc etc

feel free to gimme all your thoughts, do your worst cause i wanna cry

[booklovingturtle]

Shadow and Bone Season 2 Rambles (SPOILERS)

S&B S2E8 season finale

DO NOT GIVE ME ANOTHER KAZxDARKLING FIGHT

I know Kaz did that for the money but still that was cute

pls just kill him this is so dumb

YES DEATH

Also shout out the nina plot convenience save

Inej and Zoya look amazing

The Darkling is delusional its giving Dmitri voicemail

Ben? The Darkling is terrible but I will miss him

NOOOO ALINA GIRL WHAT ARE YOU DOING

DOES SHE DO THIS IN THE BOOK??????

can you guys tell I really don't remember the S&B books at all?

Nina knows....

Wait I just realized she doesn't have white hair I really wanted to see that

I LOVE THAT EASTER EGG

Mal knows

Guys I really need someone to retell me the plot I don't remember

Ohhhhh wait I think I'm starting to get it is this their way of extending it so that we get more showline from them?

Aw nooo my scruffy boy's gonna get scruffier...whatever shall I do

I AM SOBBING THEY BETTER NOT HAVE KILLED MY BOY I WON'T BELIEVE IT TILL I SEE A BODY GUYS I CAN'T HANDLE THIS STOP JOKING WITH ME IF THIS ISN'T REALY THEN GIMME BACK MY DAVID RIGHT NOW

THEY'RE HOLDING THIS SHOT WAY TOO LONG I DON'T LIKE IT ARE YOU SERIOUS RIGHT NOW

FOR DAVID???? THEY KILLED HIM??? SERIOUSLY??? WAHTOIAHTOIAHFOAHRFOUAHRUIAHRIFHAEOIHAOIR;GAOIFHADSFHAISUHFAUOHGAUHGAUIHFAHOFIAOFAO;SDFJH;A

i know he dies in the King of Wolves book or whatever but that was fine bc i didn't read it so i can just pretend that isn't in the books but THIS IS JUST CRUEL

So Nikolai isn't a Shadow Fold monster dude?? I just realized that

lmao I am not interested in the show post-bookcannon tbh this better be a hard pivot into the Crows bc I don't care about Malina or Ravkan politics enough to keep watching after the book canon story

how is there still 30 whole minutes left this episode feels done the only thing left is to wrap up the crows and give us a teaser for next season that should be 10 minutes AT MOST

I feel like this Kanej scene isn't the serve they think it is...it works GREAT for me as a reader and lover of SOC but if I was just a viewer idkkk

Inej looks amazing

My poor boy he just wants to be right with Djel and the world keeps kicking him down

Nina girly get this boy out with Dirtyhands

Ahhh yess so he will be a monster yes the this is good

That crown/gown look terrible I'm sorry bring back the kofta

EXCUSE ME YOU WANT ZOYA STOP LOOKING AT ALINA LIKE THAT

yes Zoya look at him

That coat looks bad too

I am affectionally insulting the royal fits btw

LOVE THE JURDA PAREM DROP

huhhhhhhhhhhhh...darkling cut....okay??? uhm

Choices were made

I must think more to decide how I feel about those choices

[xdominiklivakovicx]

Okay so this is specifically made for @crimsonicarus :D

Ya all can ignore it if u want, this is just a translation of my WhatsApp stickers to her and other foreign Croatia NT fans!

-------

So basically this sticker with Luka and Livi means: may the mother kiss you

The one with Perisic kissing Livi means: may the father kiss you

Sime: you can't

Rebic: is it?

Livi: God give me streinght

Strinic slapping Messi: get out of here

Livi: YAAAAYYY MISKO (I can't translate misko 😭)

Livi: why not?

Suba: come at me

Livi carrying Suba: well bye

Suba: I don't want to hear a word from you anymore

Livi ball mode on: good night

Pink Kalinic: don't make fun of me

Mandzo: gimme a kiss

Luka with bronze medal: well done my brother!

Livi lying on the floor: wake me up when this hell ends

Josko: serves you right

Luka with pyro: it's actually a Croatian song and idk how to translate songs 😭

Josko with his arms open: HUGGGGGG

Majer hugging Orsic: may the brother hug you

Krama is screaming ALE ALE

Angry Mandzo: what did you say-

Grbic carrying Budimir: opa cupa two of us together

Sime lying on the Croatian flag: undescribable!

Pasalic stuck in the net: I'm a little stuck

Sosa: #borntoparty

Sad Livi: I want to laugh, but I also want to cry at the same time

Majer and the ball: I will crush you like a roach

Livaja making an :0 face: well good morning to you (context: you finally understood it)

Rebic: no Rebic no party

Gvardiol and another guy (idk sadly who he is) giving each other a high five: high five!

Brozo with pyro and sunglasses: Happy Birthday my bro!

Josko from Sparta: fight for your people! (famous sayings from Croatian fans)

Rakitic with open arms: thanks God!

Majer walking around: I turned out to be a dude because my name is Majer (eh it rhymes in Croatian but not in English)

Pasalic jumping on Livi: I feel super like super Mario Pasalic

The 3 guys: don't sit on the ball, it will become like an egg

Deki sitting on the chair: here I am chilling

Vida screaming: LET'S GOOOOOOOO

Livi pushing the Frenchie: come on wake up!

Livi in yellow jersey: don't

Livi lying on the floor: you sleep like an old cat

Sime on the phone: I am a bit busy

Alvarez fouling Livi: GIMME GIMME

Livi with prezents: Merry Christmas, Happy New Year and good night

Angry Kova: I am a bit angry

Josko flying: Josko Gvardiol comes into save in last minute

Livi holding ball: positive made-up version of don't

Vida and the squad at the bus: another Croatian song

Heart on fire: another Cro song (heart made of fire)

Rakitic clapping: I am taking off my hat (I am very proud of you)

Kalinic lying on the floor: may god help me...

Deki waving: hello bro

Luka: I am sending you kisses!

Livi: finally break time!

Rog: *judges you in Croatian*

Livi eating chips: do not disturb me I have some other job to do (eating chips)

Sad Luka: I am a bit disappointed

Majer: well, catch up

Brozo: call me

Another dude that I don't remember his name: really?

Livi: PISS OFF! (like get tf outta here)

Deki and Sime: morning coffee

Sime: I LIKE (but us Croatians write it as AJ LAJK)

Livi lying on the grass again: school is killing me

Livi T-posing: domination

Deki grabbing Luka by his hair: where are u going?

Juranovic: Ew!

Rakitic with Domacica: do you want a Domacica?

Angry/sad Livi: WHYYYYYYY!?

Bored Livi: I'm bored bro

Livi rolling around: prepare me a burial

Livi and Rog posing together: chilly

Livi with his arms spread out: here comes the plane

Livi carrying his suitcase: don't disturb me I'ž going on vacation

Again Livi pointing at something: BULL'S EYE!

AND AGAIN LIVI: Happy Easter!

Livi holding a sign: burry me

Pink Livi: official pain

---------------------

Okay so I hope I managed to clear things out for u all, so if you want more translating you can ask me ofc! <3

[staceymcgillicuddy]

I've been loving Soul especially some of the little punk rock easter eggs you've put in there (can't wait for the next chapter!!) So I'm curious if there are any other punk songs that you relate to Chrissy, Eddie and/or Hellcheer? Can be era appropriate or not. Thanks for being amazing!! :)

Ah, thank you so much! it's my sly little nudge at Eddie because I've always been more a punk than a metalhead. Although, to be fair, I'm more a glam rocker than either. I would throw in a couple Stooges songs for them, specifically "Gimme Danger" because Chrissy's the little stranger. Also, "I Wanna Be Your Dog" because, um. Reasons.

For a third, especially with Soul, I'd say "Christine" by Siouxie and the Banshees because... yup!

Anyway, I love this question and I love thinking about them and music!

[greythroat]

SilverAsh woke up in the house on Slurpthatdick and ate a breakfast of an omelet and Frosted Flakes while reading the newspaper before driving his black Jaguar to hook up with the Doctor. SilverAsh was wearing Wayfarers, a pastel blue Easter egg-colored Ralph Lauren polo shirt with the pony logo, jeans, and Topsiders without socks. As he drove down Niagara Falls and turned onto Gulpgulpgulp, he put on the Gimme More Cupcakke Jiafei remix. On the drive, he also took a Valium. A bit of maneuvering through traffic took him to the house on Myvagina, where the Doctor was waiting for him naked and oiled up.

SilverAsh went into the house on Myvagina and stripped naked, throwing his clothes next to the Doctor’s. He picked up the Doctor’s jockstrap and started huffing it and ate it, enjoying their taste (ewww. I cannot believe I just typed that). They did a few bumps of coke together before they got down to sexing.

“Wow Doctor! You’re huge!”

“My butt feels bigger than usual and I’m feeling 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂,” the Doctor said, pointing to their massive ginormous dumptruck ass.

The Doctor was so hot, SilverAsh thought. They were so super mega hot and he was very horny. They 69ed and then did more coke and then sexed some more as Shrek played in the background.

“OH DADDY! DON’T LET THE STRAWBERRY FALL OUT MY POOSEY! AUGH! OH! RIGHT THERE!”

Around that time, someone was brutally torturing and murdering Gnosis Edelweiss. SilverAsh was very horny. That someone, maybe even SilverAsh himself, had forced Gnosis to consume several Quaaludes before beating his ass and force feeding him goldfish. Not goldfish crackers, but literal animal goldfish. Then they bashed his head in and dropped him in his pool. But not before kidnapping and killing Tenzin. The poor bird was crucified and decapacitated. Its eyes were gouged out and its tongue was pulled out to lie on the pool steps. Never again would Gnosis Edelweiss get stoned and have super mega hot buttsex with Enciodes SilverAsh.

However, SilverAsh would break into Gnosis’s house and eat his underwear and jerk it to his corpse. He was very horny.

[joe-moi]

Girl help people need to stop, starting from djokeerydaily saying she was right all along and there's so many clues and this is a bit and she knew because she's a swiftie HELP GIMME A BREAK that account needs to go. Have they ever considered that maybe the team just hired someone who was terrible at their job or totally misunderstood the assignment. Also can we stop with this "bit" thing!!! Please a bit is supposed to be funny or clever, this is just a mess!!

a bit would be more professional than whatever it was we just saw. That seemed like a chaotic mess. I’m not sure it had anything to do with what was posted yesterday but more so to do with the meltdown that happened in the replies.

I almost mentioned earlier that this isn’t a Taylor swift Easter egg thing, this was just a mess

[emilyblame]

Waterparks: Singles vs Deep Cuts Results

here we go! ok, first of all i wanna thank all of you who participated. you guys took time out of your day to fill my silly little form and i appreciate that a lot. so, thank you. there was a total of 84 responses, which is a lot. so, really. thank you for joining in.

before i jump straight into the final results i wanna talk about something that i found rather curious. a few people (19) chose one deep cut in the ‘NO SINGLES’ section and then a different deep cut in the ‘COMPLETE’ version. for various releases.

now, i know we’re doing this for fun, and it’s silly, and i’m making all the rules, but... that does not make any sense, you guys! like, why would you change your favorite song halfway when you could choose the same one both times. i mean, again, it’s not important because we’re just having fun here, but... you know what i mean? it just doesn’t make sense.

anyway, for the sake of science (?) when i made the contigency table, i pretended you chose the same deep cut both times. not for the general voting, though, cause that’s whatever.

that said! here are the results! under the cut, so you don’t think i’m a psychopath.

firstly, i made a contingecy table discriminating by release and whether people chose a deep cut in the ‘COMPLETE’ version (DEEP CUT 4-LIFE) or switched to a single (GIMME THE SINGLE!).

what i want to take out of the table is that there seems to be no consensus as to whether the singles are more liked than deep cuts or not. we have 3 out of 7 releases where the majority of people like the singles, 2 out of 7 where people prefer deep cuts, and then two ties.

curiously enough, the releases where people prefer singles are the oldest (except for ‘Entertainment’), while with the newer releases people seem to be more into the deep cuts.

so, it either doesn’t have a rational explanation because art is subjective and the heart wants what the heart wants. or Awsten got really bad at choosing singles. take your pick.

another thing i wanted to talk about was favorites for each release. i did this back at the top of 2020 and i wanted to see if something had changed, mostly because there’s new people in the fandom. so, i’m gonna be touching on that when i go over each release. and, here’s a link if you wanna check that out, if you weren’t around or if you're curious.

now let’s talk more in detail about this singles vs deep cuts thing.

Airplane Conversations

people really chose Fantastic because the had to. i’m really surprised about all the love IWHUYPBILY got. back when i did this at the very top of 2020, Silver took almost all the votes. and now it has its fair share, but IWHUYPBILY was the less voted song back in 2020.

Black Light

oof! the way we all love I’m A Natural Blue is overwhelming. and Easter Egg winning the ‘NO SINGLES’ version surprises no one. New Wave got a little more love than back in 2020, but the tendency here is pretty much the same.

Cluster

when the first day of voting was over, i checked the results and— at 55 responses— Pink was winning in both versions. i’m not gonna lie, i thought it would stay that way. but No Capes made it’s way back to the top in the ‘COMPLETE’ version at the end. also, if you go check out the 2020 chart for ‘Cluster’ it looks exactly the same as the ‘COMPLETE’ version. interesting, right?

Double Dare

once again, when first day was up, we had What We Do For Fun winning the ‘NO SINGLES’ and a tie between Royal, Take Her To The Moon, and What We Do For Fun for the ‘COMPLETE’ version. how did 21 Questions win this thing?! it’s blowing my mind. back in 2020, the winner was Gloom Boys and 21 Questions got like... 2 votes? although, last time we also had 0 votes for Plum Island and we all know that’s just wrong. bottom line, i think we can all agree here that ‘Double Dare’ is a very consistent album and it’s no wonder people like the singles and the deep cuts equally.

Entertainment

would you look at all the love Rare got? like, don’t get me wrong, Crybaby for the win, but... yes. Rare deserves to be a fan favorite. once again Not Warriors taking the cup home, my baby! god, i love that song. and i mean, ‘Entertainment’, again, very consistent album, it’s all bangers, but i feel like people keep going back to Not Warriors because it’s such an epic moment in Waterparks history, with the music video being so aesthetically pleasing, and also the fact that they chose to merge it with Crybaby. i feel like they did so many things right with that song that it’s impossible for it not to be a fan favorite. once again, this chart here looks almost exactly the same as it did back in 2020. so cool.

FANDOM

for a moment there i thought War Crimes was gonna win the ‘NO SINGLES’ version, but once again, we are proving Awsten WRONG when he said we all liked I Felt Younger When We Met but it wasn’t a fan favorite (that’s not what he said literally, but you know what i mean.) IMHSBALIDWDA got 0 votes in 2020 lol. i mean, it didn’t get many now either. honestly, i thought it would, with it being so popular and everything. i guess tiktok people are not here in tumblr. thank god.

Greatest Hits

and we made it to the end! Fuzzy got so many votes, it’s almost ridiculous. it should’ve been a single. i’m sorry, but you know i’m right. i would take it over Fruit Roll-Ups, The Secret Life Of Me, or Just Kidding any day. actually, Fuzzy is in my top 3. i feel like it’s arguably the best song on this album. also, i still feel like Magnetic is underrated as fuck. but, you know? fine. nothing’s gonna change that it’s my favorite. i don’t have any other data for ‘Greatest Hits’ because it wasn’t out yet when i did the favorite Parx release thing, BUT, i did a whole discography picking back at the end of last year, where i asked you to pick your top 5 favorite Parx songs out of their entire discography (link, if you wanna check it out), and the tendency was that people loved Fuzzy, The Secret Life Of Me, and Magnetic. so, pretty much the same we’re seing now.

anyway! that’s all i have for you right now! i guess i’ll see you guys when i get curious about something else. remember that my inbox is open for questions and comments as long as you’re nice about it. and once again, thank you for participating if you did! this was really fun :)

[scover-va]

Gimme the what ifs, I just played a bit of the hex (on the Bryce part) and I need that awesome what if scenarios in my head

Gladly

Apologies in advance for how fucking long it is, but I have several thoughts on these scenarios

So, this is all under the assumption that almost everything that happens pre-game (so in the memory/flashback bits) still happens, and that Reggie and Jeremiah are just simply not out for revenge. Maybe Reggie used some critical thinking skills or something, I don't know. Only backstory differences would be 1. Lazarus' backstory/flashback (if the flashbacks happened) would be about something else, since The Artifact mission never would've happened. Likely fleshing out his feelings on what happened after SOL failed, and having a similar situation to that one scene from the first trailer. With some calmer/dialogue-heavy bits including Junior and Jay ofc 2. The 'Lionel wants this' incident would not be shown in FPP's chapter due to technically being irrelevant. If this were in the format of the game, it'd just be an easter egg

With that out of the way, here's some other important notes:

Reggie and Jeremiah would never be the murderers or the victims. Jeremiah does whatever Reggie tells him to, and would never act out of his own free-will, despite Reggie's protests otherwise. Reggie, on the other hand, would get the final say in everything, like what happens to the killer. Well, the player has some input in that, but still. Reggie and the player are, essentially, the judges in the case. No one has any real reason to target these two, either.

The murders cannot be prevented. The murder will happen at some point, and all you can do is catch who did it

Like as hinted at in the og trailer, the POVs would jump around out of order. In a game-style format, you could switch around as pleased post-murder, and the flashbacks would be triggered by certain things. What triggers the flashbacks? I don't know, depends on the victim-killer scenario, but likely some sort of reminder for each of the characters

Sado and Irving never show up in present time. They may be mentioned for different reasons, but they'd never be the murderer or victim in these scenarios

Everything Lionel did still happened, and he and Carla still have their issues, but again, they're less important in this au

The what-if scenarios might be connected via game resets. This will be fully figured out if I write a fic, but for now, it is merely a possibility.

Now, for whoever the killer is, what happens to them after being caught is dependent on how the cast feels about the victim and said killer, and also just their overall personalities. Again, Reggie gets the final say in the matter, but the inn patrons do get to argue about what should happen to the killer. But the four outcomes are:

Being reported to the Gameworks: The only reason Irving would show up. The killer would be reported for killing another game character, and considering how hurting an innocent npc leads to a permanent game ban, I can't imagine punishment for killing a playable character would just be a slap on the back, and punishment would be permanent deletion. It's relatively painless, but you get my point. Lazarus, Chandrelle, and FPP are aware of the cruel punishment. Weasel Kid, Rust, and Bryce are not aware of the punishment and assume it leads to imprisonment.

Being executed at the inn: Obviously, this is quite the extreme compared to the other three choices, but sometimes you need to take matters into your own hands to ensure they don't hurt anyone ever again. Chandrelle and Rust are more in favour towards execution. Weasel Kid, FPP, and Lazarus are neutral towards execution. Bryce is more against execution.

Being locked away at the inn: Not entirely sure where someone would be locked up at the inn, given the rooms and stuff, but if the storyline was a genuine murder mystery I'm sure there would conveniently be a place to lock them up. This is definitely more of a neutral punishment, not resulting in anything harmful, but also not being too kind hearted. Weasel Kid, Bryce, and FPP are more in favour towards imprisonment. Rust and Lazarus are more neutral towards imprisonment. Chandrelle is more against imprisonment.

Being kicked out of the inn: The most kind-hearted of the four choices, leading to no punishment for the killer. This one is more likely for if someone kills in self-defence, since most of the patrons are at least somewhat reasonable. Rust and Bryce are more in favour towards banning. Weasel Kid and FPP are more neutral towards banning. Lazarus and Chandrelle are more against banning.

Suicide: Upon being caught, the killer takes fates into their own hands and kills themself. This is not a punishment option, and is purely situation dependent. May occur before or after everyone decides on a punishment.

Impulse kill: One character acts without the input of the others, and executes the murderer by their own hand. This is not a punishment option, and is purely situation dependent. May occur before or after everyone decides on a punishment.

Reggie never decides based on personal opinion. In case of a majorly favoured opinion, he will go with that. In case of a tie, he will choose the more logical choice.

Now then, with all that stuff out of the way, I'm gonna list off the possible victim-killer scenarios! All will be further explored if I write proper fics for each scenario, and punishment choices would be more dependent on what happens in each scenario between the characters, both before and after the murder takes place.

Weasel Kid kills Bryce: Due to his game failing and being abandoned by Lionel due to Lionel signing a contract with Gamefuna. Weasel Kid might choose to take it out on someone who is associated with the Gamefuna contract. He would choose Bryce due to an assumed favouritism, since Bryce was one of Lionel's favourite game characters growing up, and take his anger out on him. Would sneak into Bryce's room and surprise-attack him. He would not use a murder weapon, just simply using his teeth.

Weasel Kid kills Chandrelle: Similar situation as listed above. He would choose Chandrelle due to her being the first known character Lionel created and fleshed out after Weasel Kid, due to other Combat Arena X characters not being present, and Bryce being purchased against his will. Similar to Bryce, he'd sneak up on Chandrelle to get the element of surprise. He would once again use his teeth, but may bring a physical weapon as a back up option due to her ability to use magic.

Bryce would only kill out of self-defence due to holding no grudges and having no motive for murder. Location and weapon are victim dependent.

Chandrelle kills Weasel Kid: Chandrelle has a tendency to react violently if upset, annoyed, or angry, as shown when she kills Moji without a second thought due to him being 'tedious as ever'. Due to their egos clashing and them constantly bickering and angering each other, Chandrelle may eventually take her anger out on Weasel Kid. She would attack Weasel Kid outside or in the basement, so no one can overhear as easily. She would not use a physical weapon, instead only using her magic.

Chandrelle kills Bryce: Due to past experience in Combat Arena X, Chandrelle knows she can overpower Bryce, and he wpuld be an easier option in case of murdering someone. As for a legitimate motive, it might be something Vallamir-related, due to her and Bryce having a positive relation. She would attack Bryce in the kitchen, where she knows he will inevitably go. She would use her magic, but hide Lazarus' sword in her inventory as a backup option, due to the fact that Bryce has dodged her spells with ease before, and the sword is easily available to her and harder for Bryce to block.

Chandrelle kills Rust: Rust, despite his weapons, is practically the most harmless in the cast in her eyes. Why, you may ask? Simple. He's simply not all there. He isn't aware of what's happening around him, everyone thinks he's delusional, everyone either distrusts him or is weirded out by him which would therefore cause him to be alone, and overall, Chandrelle is pretty certain that he would never even realize what's happening until it's too late to stop it. He's an incredibly easy target. She would lure him to a secondary location where no one else is, or possibly find a way into his room. She wouldn't even bother with wasting her mana, simply sneaking up behind him and using her trusty dagger to kill him.

Chandrelle kills FPP: Another easy target, due to FPP being unable to speak. They can't scream or call for help, can't keep someone closeby via a conversation, and has no weapon to defend himself with. Only issue is that Chandrelle can tell FPP does not trust her specifically, but cannot tell why. Location would be dependent on where FPP goes, since Chandrelle can't lure him anywhere. She would use her magic, but have her dagger handy just in case.

Rust would only kill out of self-defence due to holding no grudges and having no motive for murder. Location and weapon are victim dependent.

Lazarus kills Chandrelle: Listing this one first, but in this scenario, he'd want revenge for what she caused him to go through, and due to all the people he had to kill during his time in Vicious Galaxy 2, what's one more? He views what she did as a full betrayal after all, and despite his rpg programming telling him not to hurt her, his emotions get the better of him. He'd lure Chandrelle to a secondary location due to her trusting him, and would shoot her dead, likely execution style.

Lazarus kills Bryce: Following the same revenge plan as above, in this scenario, Bryce finds out about the murder plans, and tries to peacefully confront Lazarus to prevent anyone from dying. However, Lazarus panics and kills Bryce instead, worried that Bryce will report him to someone, causing him to either have to go back to his game, or be deleted by the Gameworks. Bryce would likely bring Lazarus to the kitchen to talk things out, and Lazarus would shoot him dead.

FPP kills Chandrelle: Knowing exactly what she did, FPP plans on almost playing God, mirroring how Lionel is basically the group's God. They know that Chandrelle's actions led to the deaths of lots of others, ruined Lionel's game (which FPP has heard about too many times to be okay with), and it led to Lionel stealing money from his employees and possibly Carla turning Sado into a purely hostile, satanic entity. So, FPP decides to punish her themself for these reasons, using the fact that they're seemingly powerless and innocent to his advantage. He'd try to lure Chandrelle to a second location, but would be able to figure out a way to get her alone no matter what. They'd either use a kitchen knife or one of the weapons locked away behind the kitchen/bar.

Future scenarios might get added if I get more ideas, but for now, those are the scenarios I've got in mind. Obviously, random murders could occur without need for any sort of motive, intention, or reasoning, but. Those are incredibly boring. Other than that, that's what I've got figured out so far! I really enjoy murder mysteries so all these possible scenarios are scratching a certain spot in my brain. Feel free to overanalyze these or come up with alt. scenarios because murder fun when it's fictional

[shijiujun]

hate the censorship but im so impressed with the level of care these bl adaptations are doing. i think i love the heavy romantic subtext almost more than i would if they had done the explicit romance from the novels because it forces the scriptwriters and the directors to focus on the intimacy of these relationships rather than the sexual aspects. for too long bl adaptions have been all about showing these two boys love each other by having them smash lips with no plot or cohesive story.

honestly i do agree!!!! hahahaha nothing against like sexual tension shown on screen and shit because that’s cool too but i find that i need the wholesome plot behind it on top of that? like i wanna see the domesticity and ‘regular’ bits of life, gimme those hand touches and everywhere touches and cheeky smiles and teasing and bantering and everything - give me HUGS! i dont care if they’re being shown as platonic - intimacy shown. 

trust and willingness to die for the other and the promise to stay with that person by their side forever - those are things that can be portrayed in millions and millions of ways, so yeah, wholesome!!! give me all the wholesome plots!!! 

like it’d be lovely if they had like the UST in between or the occasional kiss tumble in bed whatever but i won’t die without it for now HAHAHA

and i think you’re right to some extent that before the censorship/ban they were pretty much doing a lot of plots that made me like :/ it was always some dramatic ass rich CEO with a poor dude or classmate and then they fuck but then they are separated either by some large misunderstanding or whatever and then at the end someone either is paralysed, disfigured, almost dies or actually dies like guys, i go to entertainment for happy things XD

i’ll take subtext over those any day, and also because through this they actually have fun with a lot of idioms/poems/innuendos/slang and through things like props and details these are like easter eggs, we find them and we’re like OH SO THEY REALLY WENT THERE!!!

super fun imo

[post-modern-prometheus]

What do you think about the Upside Down and the Mindflayer not being completely independent from our characters and Hawkins? I mean the show briefly establishes that the Upside Down was just another variation of Hawkins until the Mindflayer conquered the dimension. But do you think it’s possible that our characters, at least to some affect, are related to and hold some power as to how the Mindflayer presents itself and it’s overall hold over Hawkins?

okay fucking buckle in because i also have my own big ass grand theory pulled right out of my ass that i honestly don't expect to come true word for word but wouldn't be surprised if some elements came to pass.

and it starts with good ol donnie darko

if you've never seen donnie darko then you're not really missing anything, but it's a cult classic with a 'twist' ending that i'm going to spoil.

the movie is confusing as fuck so i'm going to attempt to explain it. basically there's this kid named donnie darko and he's played by jake gyllenhaal. and he was like sleepwalking? this one time? all the way up to the top of the mountain on the exact night where a jet-engine falls on his bedroom. so if he was there instead of talking to frank- oh yeah, he's talking to frank, that creepy ass bunny pictured above. and frank tells him the world is gonna end in 28 days. classic frank- so if he hadn't been talking to frank then he would have died. so basically a bunch of shit happens and patrick swayze has child porn in his wall then the apocalypse happens. there's some weird time portal with the jet-engine and donnie realizes that there was some cosmic mix up, that caused him to see these creepy visions of frank that legitimately almost made me piss my pants every time, saved his life from getting killed by that jet-engine. and to literally save the world, he had to die. go back in time sorta? and die.

i really didn't have any basis for connecting this to st and still don't, it legit just popped into my head over the past year. and then i forgot about my whole grand theory, which is to come. however, there is this twitter post where i went OH OH OH

like sure okay there are a lot of different things that this could mean.

but there's one more person you have to know about, and i'm sure you all do because i never shut up about her, before i move on to actually explaining the theory.

jean grey my beloved... aka the phoenix. or dark phoenix if you will. long story short. she's literally the most powerful mutant ever and her powers go brrrr and now they make her evil cuz she can't control them.

sounds like another lady we know?

you thought i was gonna actually get into el rn? no gimme a second.

stephen king is quite literally the biggest single influence to the show. i really think el should have her carrie moment (getting bullied, her bullies take it just a BIT too far and uh oh death) in season 4 to be like oh shit el does still have her powers. they're just. dormant. idk i think it'd be cool.

so why bring them up?

the comic referenced in the very first episode of the show is the beginning of the dark phoenix saga, aka where jane- OH SORRY I MEANT JEAN- goes bonkers.

so el's gonna go bonkers with her powers? that's my big theory?

not exactly.

there's a lot of time travel easter eggs in season three, most notably my favorite movie of all time, back to the future. so i'm feeling some sort of time travel happening soon. but what if it's not how we view traditional time travel, but something along the lines of...

...donnie darko.

here me out. it's season five. everything's cool and fun and whatever. but something. something sets el off. i'm banking on brenner's return and el goes batshit. her powers start going haywire and they're too much for her. she laments to hopper that she can't control them but!!! brenner reveals that hopper sold her out to him in the first season. betrayal... and anger.

i don't think el's gonna kill hopper, but there is definitely a character who we know and love biting the dust (i'm banking on jonathan because conflict like joyce's personal conflict cuz her adopted daughter killed her son but also between nancy and mike who have differing views). so this is when we really know that something isn't right. and all the xmen fans start crying because we know it's not gonna end well.

skip a little bit blah blah and we find out somehow that the upside down is a future version of hawkins (and the world), frozen in the exact moment where everything was killed and destroyed by the mind flayer's power.

by el's power. cuz once her power overtakes her, she becomes the mind flayer. and this is so hard to explain, but the world always ends at this one exact moment. and it's just on a loop, as the demogorgon is sent into hawkins from the portal from the moment when the gang looses against el.

except this time. for some reason idk. she overcomes her power and stops it by...... oh hey donnie.... sacrificing herself.

only i don't want el to die because i love her and i think it would lowkey go against her arc. but all this is written pre-season 4 which is when i think we'll be able to start to see a glimpse of the end.

i also like the idea that somehow, will is given the power to stop her? by her sending the demogorgon after him. it's this whole confusing time loop, but akin to how voldy chooses harry to be his nemesis by just. going to his house and killing his rents. that gives harry the power to stop him. like something in the upside down obviously did something to him, but here it's like. he's got immunity and can fight her idk.

but again, i pulled this out of my ass awhile ago, i just think it'd be fun. it's not airtight and obviously i'm not even sure of some elements. there are some more pieces of evidence that i'm way too lazy to find, but i agree that it's no coincidence that these specific characters have to deal with the upside down every time and people connected to them get roped in.

i just hope that they give us some good explanation and i'd want to be surprised by it, but in the nature of an m night shyamalan twist. like the sixth sense. i'm not expecting it, but as soon as it happens, it makes sense and all the pieces fall into place.

[rubyinasnuggie]

What are your hopes for Volume 9? For me, it's the return of the occasional "Breather Episode(s)", a chance for everyone in and out of the show to take a chill pill after all the grief we endured in Volume 8.

okay okay okay!

first of all, YES breather episodes. i hope so much that this volume can be a break from the heavy plot.

very minor things i REALLY want:

YANG'S PONYTAIL. like c'mon it's SO good

SOME reference to bloconut. respectfully, it's very funny, i just want a tiny easter egg

-i think it'd be kinda funny if the twenty~ ppl cinder knocked off the platform like,, all banded together and built a lil beach civilization in the time it takes for RWBY to find each other

but more major things:

-i would really love if the first four episodes were solo episodes for team RWBY

-bumbleby to be confirmed in a way that is undeniable. especially if we can have them being vulnerable and talking in the way everyone's been wanting since v6

-ruby breakdown catharsis (sorry bb)

-i want to see oscar cope with his first loss (that we know of) baby boy just lost five of his friends, i can't even imagine dealing with that when you're only fifteen. not to mention all the literal torture he suffered in v8??? idk i don't want to brush past that cause otherwise :/ bro

-uhhh that oscar dream semblance theory?? GIMME

-semblance upgrades for blake and/or yang would slqp too

-altho i like the idea that semblances don't work in this other world??

-but then idk what that'll mean for Neo. cause also surely she fell because she's gonna fuck around w the team w her semblance??

-i hope jaune is kinda out of the way for a while 😅 i really want to see JUST team RWBY vibing

OVERALL this volume really needs to be full of emotional, character-driven catharsis. there's so much tension we've shoved right past to continue the plot and like pls can we unpack some of this

[mikasuxxx]

gimme the fluffy headcanons that make my teeth rot and fall out please thank you

One order of tooth rotting fluffy seed headcanons coming right up!

John

He's very touch starved, so he really enjoys cuddles and hugs, he just doesn't say it

He actually loves spoiling his partner, and buying them lots of cool things

He cuddles up to his partner in bed and doesnt even realize it lol

There are times where he actually feels soft and happy. Shows you a soft side of him that he doesn't show anyone else

He sucks at cooking but he tries his best

He and Jacob have arguments, just like they used to when they were kids. But they're mostly just over small things lol

He sees Faith as his little sister and they both have a very wholesome sibling dynamic

Jacob

If he has a partner, he'd love them of course, but he wouldn't really show it because, well...It's Jacob

Won't cuddle, but lets you hug him in bed

Has a small picture in his office of him and his brothers playing when they were younger. One of the few times they were all happy together.

Speaking of which, he loves his brothers a lot. he took care of them after all. They mean everything to him since they're his only family. He'll die for his brothers if he had to.

Teases John about some embarrassing memories from their childhood lol

His judge wolf is really just a big doggo who wants attention lol

Joseph

He's a family man, especially if we're talking no cult AU

He's very caring, he did take Faith in and made her part of his family after all

we're just gonna disregard canon and say that he's actually very wholesome when he feels like it

When it's one of his siblings' birthdays, he bakes them a cake. He puts a lot of effort into making it too

Gives out chocolate eggs to his church attendees on Easter, and more chocolates on Christmas

Loves gatherings with his sibilings.

Makes the best hot chocolates lowkey

Faith

wholesome asf

Some weekends she invites her brothers over to play tennis so she could kick their asses, but also have a grand old time

She makes the best sandwiches for when they go on a family picnic in a nice grassy filed and she brings a soccer ball so they can all play ball

If it were a no cult AU she usually chooses where they go for vacations in the summer

Has a whole ass album of pictures of her and the boys of all the times they spent together

She and John also go shopping a lot too

Thanks for asking @cammyjammies !

[agentnico]

Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings (2021) Review

So, are we just gonna sit here not addressing the elephant in the room or do we give director Hayao Miyazaki a call and make him aware that he has full right to sue Disney for blatantly stealing his design of the water dragon from his movie Spirited Away? I don’t know, just seems like the cool thing to do these days, you know, suing Disney? Wait, is that me throwing shade at Black Widow for no reason? Why yes, yes it is.

Plot: Martial-arts master Shang-Chi confronts the past he thought he left behind when he's drawn into the web of the mysterious Ten Rings organization.

Critics and reviews are useless. Yes, stating that makes me a hypocrite of the highest order of orders seeing as I am a film critic myself, albeit an unpaid one. I even have a T-shirt that states “UNPAID FILM CRITIC” and that is both hilarious and also self-heart-breaking but nonetheless you are not here to read about my wardrobe contents. You’re here to read about my thoughts on Shang-Chi and all those numerous rings that are referred to even though we all know that the only ring that matters is the One Ring that needs to be taken deep into Mordor and cast back into the fiery chasm from whence it came!! Unfortunately that ring does not make an appearance in this film nor is it even mentioned, and that may be due to the case of it belonging to a different franchise entirely however, and this is a big however... I don’t give a crap! Gimme the One Ring!! I wants it!! The precious is MINE!! But anyway, returning to my original point from which I strayed unnecessarily, this movie underlined how frustrating reviews can be. 

You see, Shang-Chi is a solid movie. It very much is a good solo superhero origin story that features some well choreographed martial arts action sequences and makes great strides in pushing for diversity in major Hollywood blockbusters. Similar to Black Panther in fact. That is all well and good, however about half a month ago this film was previewed to a bunch of critics and they all came out with their social media reactions and reviews screaming and hailing this movie as being one of the greatest superhero solo movies ever. Naturally that got us all really excited, especially since at least in my eyes, with me being a huge Marvel Cinematic Universe fan and all, Shang-Chi was never particularly in my radar of interest originally as I was more looking forward to other MCU upcoming titles such as Thor: Love & Thunder, Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness and The Eternals. So when critics came out on the internet spilling endless praise for Shang-Chi, my first reaction was “DA FAK!?” following which I joined on the hype train and screamed “choo-choo!” in excitement as I looked forward to this new exciting entry in the MCU. Having now watched the film I come out feeling disappointed, as even though I enjoyed it, like any Marvel film, I find that this movie suffers heavily from being overrated. 

As stated prior, Shang-Chi, like any Marvel movie, is enjoyable. It’s perfect blockbuster movie escapism filled with action, fun characters, big visuals and many references and Easter Eggs that would excite die hard franchise fans. However does this film really offer anything truly out of the ordinary that other films prior to it have not? The central dramatic plot dynamic involving a son and his father not seeing eye to eye due to one being blind sighted from reality is very common in the world of cinema. Also the martial arts action sequences, though certainly well choreographed and especially one of the first fight sequences set in a magic forest (naturally) that plays out more like a dance is worth mentioning, are cool to look at, however they too are downgraded by some sloppy editing and camera cuts that really make you lose the feeling of immersion that some superior martial arts films have such as Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon or The Raid or any of the Bruce Lee movies. I’m certain that the stunts and choreography are effortless, but due to the shaky filmmaking and jump cuts I missed a lot of it. However nevertheless for Marvel and the superhero genre as a whole this is evidently more impressive than the usual Hulk-smashing shenanigans.

The central main cast is made up of mostly Asian heritage which of course is great for diversity in cinema, and to be fair many of these actors prove themselves to be major stars that fit quite smoothly into such a big blockbuster as Shang-Chi. Simu Liu as the titular character is a natural born star. He has that genuine star power and he easily proves that he can carry a big movie. He has the necessary charm and charisma that shines on screen, so I look forward to seeing him more as this character in future MCU entries, and also hope this proves Simu Liu a gateway into more mainstream movie projects. Awkwafina is fine in her role as Shang-Chi’s best friend Katy, and it was nice seeing a central duo of a man and a woman that doesn’t force a useless love story between them. They are just friends and it was nice seeing that type of dynamic. That being said I personally am not a fan of Awkwafina and her overly croaky voice, but that of course is just personal preference. Tony Leung as Shang-Chi’s father and also previously Marvel teased villain the Mandarin brings the necessary heft and gravitas to the role, and also a certain appearance by a British actor returning as a character we’ve seen previously in another Marvel movie was a welcome surprise that brought many laughs in my screening and honestly this guy nearly stole the entire show. It’s just that this is such a well written and performed character and I’m so happy they brought him back. I’m certain if you look it up on the old Internet Explorer you’ll find out who I’m talking about, however no spoilers in this review. 

Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings is a perfectly enjoyable Marvel movie featuring martial arts. That’s in a nutshell what it is. It has moments of true greatness but in my opinion doesn’t actually stand out that much from other Marvel solo superhero outings. That’s in no way a complaint towards the movie, I’m just confused as to why this movie is so overrated? Maybe I’m missing something. Regardless, I’m now gonna go back and focus on the ring that actually matters - the One Ring - and begin yet another marathon of the Lord of the Rings movies. Ciao! 

Overall score: 6/10