#also i got seasick/motion sick SO MUCH during this | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

youarejesting · 3 years

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Wash out.2 (special)

Banners: @purpleskies1999 Pairings: Dolphintrainer!Taehyung x SharkDiver!Jin, Mer!Jimin x Reader, Scientist!Namjoon x MerKing!Jungkook, Mer!Yoongi x Mer!Hoseok. Words: 1k Genre: Mystery, Romance, Comedy, Drama, Fantasy, little bit of Action, Slice of life, Enemies2Lovers, Friends2lovers, Social media au, Fake Texts, Fake Subs.

Summary: Taehyung and his best friend Y/N are Dolphin trainers at Wash Out; Marine Wildlife and Theme Park. When the nerdy marine biologist and resident veterinarian Doctor Kim Namjoon goes missing; the two friends form a ragtag team with Taehyung's rival Seokjin and a…. Fish?

Namjoon swallowed the pills hoping he would be able to keep them down, they were a fast-acting anti-nausea medication. It wasn’t his fault, he just had trouble getting out on the ocean waves without feeling painfully seasick.

He placed his things inside the locker and everything else he needed was placed in the waterproof ziplock pouch attached to a lanyard around his neck. Before heading out to the dock, the group headed out and to the end of the bay where there were some sharp rocks that tended to catch sick and injured marine life. Between the rocks, the rock pools were quite deep, so it could be anything from a shark or a Jellyfish or a broken surfboard. But, they responded to the call as they always did, and they would care for the animal or just clean out the pools of debris.

The boat was in motion and as such was not causing Namjoon any stress, it was only when the boat stopped and was rocked gently by the waves would it stir in his stomach. He hoped they would never reach their destination, though the hope was short-lived as the boat slowed to a stop and the swaying felt more like churning. Namjoon, saving himself from heaving, jumped into the ocean and swam to the edge of the rock pools looking in, he began inspecting the creature. It was dark and he couldn't really see but, he soon noticed it was a human.

Grief consumed him, "It's a body," Namjoon reported seriously, "this poor young man had most likely drowned and was washed up during the high tide into the--"

It moved, that couldn't be, his eyes must be playing tricks on him, the man was now facing him, his features were delicate and his eyes seemed to watch and follow Namjoon's movements. Namjoon again passed it off as a trick of the eye and the reflection on the water, or even the froth of the waves, until the thing blinked. Hands reached in to grab the body and that's when he was smacked with something in the face, whatever it was, it was fierce and he felt as if he was going to blackout.

He had no strength to move under the water, but he was also intrigued by the two figures swimming towards him. The first took his left hand, his reddish hair glowing faintly as the sun broke the water and left small beams of light shining on the two gentlemen. The second smaller and blonde grabbed his right hand and they swam so fast. Namjoon was starting to feel like all the oxygen was being sucked out of his lungs but just as he felt himself seeing black he broke the surface.

Wherever he was it was night time, it was dark but there was a glow like a thousand stars on the walls, and the two men threw him out of the water and onto the ground and climbed out, this was the moment Namjoon noticed they had fishtails. "Mermaids" He muttered, receiving two glares. "You don't like that term, I am sorry?"

They stood up naked making Namjoon turn red, they wrapped themselves in silk that glistened like the sun on the waves. The redhead draped Namjoon's hands with a piece of similar fabric and he let out a, "oooh so soft..." at the cold watery feel as it touched his skin, before it tightened, binding his hands together. "Oh. I see."

There was a strange clicking and he turned to see the blonde returning his thin legs shaking as if he had just run a marathon and would collapse any second. More importantly and taking up his entire attention span was the clicking coming from two very large and deep blue crabs, They were the size of a miniature pony but twice as stocky, he came closer slowly and began patting the shell of the crustacean with a prominent grin on his face.

He was lifted onto the crab and he almost passed out, this creature was majestic and he was overjoyed with being this close and seeing such a gargantuan version. "You are big boy aren't you, you are so perfect, you are doing amazing"

The two who were leading and sharing a crab were sitting sideways and watching him patting the creature and speaking gibberish, they shared a look and rolled their eyes, heading through the place, there were lanterns filled with crystals that gave off a large green glow and the walls were covered with a blue bioluminescent slime, that seemed to come from snails that were traveling around the large cave painting the walls there houses glowing brightly lighting the whole place.

It was like a scene from a fantasy movie but all Namjoon could think of was studying each organism and creature and looking into their lifestyles. He knew there was so much to learn. He touched the wall and his fingers were covered in the thick glowing slime and he grinned and played with it slowly.

Namjoon was glad for his notebook and phone, as he would be able to document some of the creatures and sights he saw. He was going to take out his phone from the pouch, and snap some photos when the crabs stopped and he felt the fabric around his hands being pulled. Thanking the creature with a friendly grin he followed after them into an ornate room with big arches and intricate carvings in the crystal pillars that all glowed.

The room was round and directly across from the entrance was a small platform with a tall ornate throne, it seemed to be made of hard crystals but lavished with the soft silk fabric which made it seem quite comfortable.

Upon the seat was the most beautiful young man Namjoon had ever seen fabric wrapped delicately around his waist a little lower than Namjoon was comfortable with, it showed off the man’s deep adonis belt. His chest and arms were also muscular and Namjoon counted at least six elaborate necklaces and three armbands, the latter looking as if they would snap if he flexed his bicep. His hair was a little shaggy making his features look softer and more androgynous.

Namjoon was stopped and the men beside him began speaking, in their language, it was melodic, slow, and higher-pitched. Namjoon wondered if it was because they had to communicate underwater that the pitch was raised to cut through the water, he wondered if they had some sort of sonar in their bodies.

The young man on the throne listened to his subordinates, his eyes trailing over Namjoon’s form, making him feel nervous. Many people thought he was funny looking and dressed oddly, they thought his personality was dull and his hobbies and interests were too eclectic to be relatable. He was just waiting for the man on the throne to look at him with the same level of displeasure as others do when they first meet.

But it never happened instead the young man stood from his perch and walked towards him, stopping a few inches shorter than himself Namjoon smiled at him and held out his hand. The young man looked at Namjoon’s hand intrigued but waved him off and he was guided into another chamber and was made to sit in a room that he could only liken to a prison cell.

Namjoon had been there for what felt like half a day but according to his phone was only a few hours. The young man returned, handing him something wrapped in a leaf, Namjoon took it and frowned, it was seafood and he didn’t particularly like seafood especially since he had met so many nice sea creatures that day he couldn’t stomach it.

He handed it back shaking his head and the man frowned and tried to demonstrate eating it and handed it back. Namjoon tried he really did but the moment the raw fish touched his lips he vomited in the corner.

The man sighed placing down the leaf of food and rubbed Namjoon’s back in wonder, he looked at Namjoon’s build and tried removing his shirt making Namjoon blush but reluctantly removed his shirt.

“You all seem to trust skinship, so I will cooperate with your customs” He removed his shirt and dropped it to the floor beside him. The young man’s eyes were big and made him seem so innocent when he looked at Namjoon’s broad chest. He seemed to measure their builds making Namjoon chuckle. “Our builds are quite different, you all seem quite small and lithe for agility when swimming. If you think my shoulders are wide, you should see my best friend, he has very broad shoulders.”

The man in front of him adopted a deeper voice while scrunching his nose playfully. Namjoon rubbed the back of his head bashfully, he must stick out like a sore thumb, a big burly guy with a deep voice amongst these elegant lean creatures who were sweetly spoken.

He lowered his head in a greeting and said something and Namjoon lowered his head and repeated it making him laugh his face lighting up. This perhaps king was cheeky, he liked to play games, or at least this was the impression Namjoon got from him.

It was going to take a while for the two to communicate properly without understanding but the king hummed and kissed him on the lips surprising Namjoon. When the two finally pulled away from the kiss the young man laughed again and said. “I hope now you can understand me, my name is Jeon Jungkook, I am the King of the Merpeople”

“What!?”

Tags: @backinblack1967 @miriamxsworld

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sevlgi · 4 years

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BLACKPINK REACTION | first date

requested: yes

group: blackpink

genre: fluff

warnings: none

~JISOO~

Jisoo was the one who asked you out, but she didn’t actually have a date planned when she asked you, mostly because she didn’t think you’d say yes. Of course, she began bombarding her members with ideas for your date, asking them for advice on the various ideas she came up with.

Dinner was traditional, nice, but Lisa said it was boring and too formal. A movie was always a good option, but Rosé mentioned that there wasn’t a way that the two of you could talk during a movie. Finally, Jennie suggested one of those retro roller rinks with built-in arcades, and Jisoo decided that it was perfect.

You did, too - you weren’t particularly good at roller skating or arcade games, but Jisoo was a master gamer and learned a bit of roller skating for the Boombayah music video. Both of you were nervous at the beginning of the date because gay panic, amirite?, but once you got onto the actual rink, all awkwardness dissipated.

The two of you spent hours there, simply trying to do tricks in the rink or playing games in the neon-lit arcade, or even just taking aesthetic photos for Jisoo’s Instagram. In the end, the employees had to shoo the two of you out 5 minutes before the arcade closed, both of you carrying tons of stuffed animals.

Once the two of you got to the dorm’s doorstep, Jisoo shyly asked if you’d be willing to go on another date, and of course, you said yes.

“Yah, Y/N, can’t you let me win at least one time?”

~JENNIE~

Knowing how Jennie enjoyed the finer things in life, you were already expecting for her to come up with some luxurious first date that would make you faint if you looked at the price. However, you were definitely surprised when Jennie rented a yacht for the entire day just for the two of you, supplied with plenty of expensive food and drinks.

She worried that it wasn’t exciting enough, but you assured her that being with her for the entire day made it amazing. While it was still light out, you lounged on the deck and enjoyed the sunshine, even daring to dip your toes into the frothing waves for a few minutes. Of course, there was a photoshoot too, the blue waves providing the perfect backdrop.

The two of you pointed out buildings you recognized in the blurry distance and tried to get a picture of a fish to take home to Rosé and Lisa. When it got too warm or she got seasick, you’d spin through the spacious hallways of the yacht, sipping champagne and joking about how you felt oh-so-rich.

When sunset came, Jennie surprised you once again with a perfect dinner lit by the sun sinking into the waves and plenty of candles. As the yacht slowly made its way back to Seoul, you’d dance on the deck and laugh when you tripped or messed up the moves to Kill This Love.

You wouldn’t want to go back home, but you promised another date whenever Jennie’s schedule was clear again.

“Whoa, Y/N, doesn’t the sky look beautiful?”

~ROSÉ~

For sweet, carefree Chaeyoung, it didn’t matter just what the date was, only that she could spend time with you. Neither of you could decide on what to do, so you ended up wandering through the streets, hand-in-hand, for the entire day, stopping at anything you found interesting.

First, you popped in an aquarium offering free tickets that day, roaming the blue-lit halls and visiting the fish; Chaeyoung particularly loved that stop, mostly because she found a fish that looked exactly like Joowhangie. After that, you stopped in a park with a rose garden, taking aesthetic photos among the blooms and just enjoying the scenery. Chaeyoung loved when you bought one of the roses for her, and she held it in one hand for the rest of the date.

The final and best stop was probably the market. There, you found plenty of delicious street food to serve as your dinner, as well as street dancers and shops lining the streets. You found all the reactions she had adorable, especially when she gasped at cool-looking foods and made faces when she tried them. Together, you and Chaeyoung probably tried all the food they had to offer, and you sang along with performers, trying to mimic the complicated dances they did.

You got home at far too late at night; Jennie almost yelled at the two of you but stopped when she saw how happy both of you looked. You didn’t need to say it, but both of you knew that there’d be a second date.

“I know we’ve eaten too much already, but this ice cream looks so good! Let’s share one.

~LISA~

As soon as Jisoo told her about the fair that was in town, Lisa knew she had to go, and she also knew it’d make the perfect first date for the two of you. Coincidentally, all of her members were busy that day - Rosé had a new noodle place she needed to try, Jisoo had a modeling gig, and Jennie was simply not interested in motion sickness.

Considering how excited Lisa was to go, you couldn’t help but be excited yourself, from when you spotted all the unhealthy food there was to have and all the huge rides there were to try. Lisa dragged you to as many of the big rides as she could, using her cutest aegyo to get you to agree.

You held hands first at one of the biggest roller coasters you went on; Lisa grabbed your hand as you went over a big hill, and neither of you wanted to let go after that.

Inevitably, Lisa got dizzy, so you stopped to try your hand at some of the rigged games there were. Despite how difficult the games were, Lisa managed to win a small stuffed animal for you, despite how cheesy it was; you rewarded her with a kiss to the cheek, and you had to drag her away from spending all her money attempting to win another plushie.

Right outside the dorm, you ended the night with a proper kiss and the promise of another date as soon as possible.

“Y/N, you need to try this cotton candy!”

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dibidibidismol · 5 years

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do em all, coward

on the one hand: yay! i get to do the ask game! on the other; @acutest-angle, i’m so sorry for doing this to you. i aint gonna fill nobody’s dash, so the qna is under the break. these are like really undetailed. ill be more specific for individual numbers

1: How tall or short do you wish you were? im pretty happy being 163

2: What’s your dream pet? (Real or not) i love my lil baby so much. i wouldnt trade my pupper for the world

3: Do you have a favorite clothing style? i wear a lot of black, and generally dress such that i would be good to go for any job interviews/public speaking events. this is in large part to make up for the fact that my go-to shoes are heelys. like i wear my heelys during professional presentations that count for a large part of my grade. my teachers think im “something else”

4: What was your favorite video game growing up? idk. we didnt do all that media shiz. maybe pvz.

5: What three things/people do you think of most each day: my doggo, my child(useless friend needing guidance) and my tumblr-famous friend. hmu for her url. 6: If you had a warning label, what would yours say?absolute weirdo, but like in a socially acceptable way. can and will debate you into submission.7: What is your opinion on [insert person/thing here]?i support gays.8: What is your Greek personality type? [Sanguine, Phlegmatic, Choleric, or Melancholic]

9: Are you ticklish?a bit10: Are you allergic to anything?some cats, all homophobes11: What’s your sexuality?ace, homoromo12: Do you prefer tea, coffee, or cocoa?tea babe. like i have so much. like a cubic yard. its a problem.13: Are you a cat or dog person?im multifandom(not a furry)14: Would you rather be a vampire, elf, or merperson?elf15: Do you have a favorite Youtuber?amber liu16: How tall are you?160cm17: If you had to change your name, what would you change it to?my chinese name18: How much do you weigh? [Only ask this if you know the user doesn’t mind!]102-105 i’m smol.19: Do you believe in ghosts/spirits?normally no. when im home alone….a lil.20: Do you like space or the ocean more? i have a large fear of the ocean. 21: Are you religious? no22: Pet peeves?poor work ethics/mansplaining/poor hygiene.23: Would you rather be nocturnal or diurnal [opposite of nocturnal]?diurnal24: Favorite constellation?orions belt25: Favorite star?shinee26: Do you like ball-jointed dolls?not particularly27: Any phobias or fears?germs, the dark, men, large non-pools bodies of water, spiders28: Do you think global warming is real? yea, but “climate change” is more accurate29: Do you believe in reincarnation?no30: Favorite movie?tangled, the lorax, shawshank redemp. , hairspray, legally blond, mulan, mama mia, in that order.31: Do you get scared easily? yea32: How many pets have you own in your lifetime?3 fish 3 dog33: Blog rate? [You’ll rate the blog of the one who’s asking.] im gunna rate @acutest-angle cuz she did mine. 10/10 would be 11 but she aint stannin shinee.34: What is a color that calms you? purple35: Where would you like to travel and/or live? oregon suits me fine36: Where were you born? oregon37: What is your eye color?brown38: Introvert or extrovert?idek. im really good at people, but idk abt energy gaining or wtv.39: Do you believe in horoscopes and zodiacs?no40: Hugs or kisses?hugs41: Who is someone you would like to see/visit right now?my doggo.42: Who is someone you love deeply? see above43: Any piercings you want? i already have doubles. might get belly button in the future.44: Do you like tattoos and piercings? hnngg45: Do you smoke or have you eiver done so? hell no. i take drugs/alcohol v seriously.46: Talk about your crush, if you have one! gorl. so beautiful, so smart, so utterly perfect. also taken.47: What is a sound you really hate? the whit boi in class mansplaining shit to me.48: A sound you really love? pitter pat of paws on hardwood.49: Can you do a backflip? no.50: Can you do the splits? no51: Favorite actor and/or actress?idkrn52: Favorite movie? see 3053: How are you feeling right now?tee hee54: What color would you like your hair to be right now? i really like my hair as is.55: When did you feel happiest? talking in front of many peeps.56: Something that calms you down?tea57: Have any mental disorders? [Only ask this if you know the user doesn’t mind!] none diagnosed. ask me about my brain later for more deets. 58: What does your URL mean?that i smol and i luv shinee59: What three words describe you the most? witty, caring,quick.60: Do you believe in evolution?yes61: What makes you unfollow a blog?too many posts/mediocre content/no longer aligned interests.62: What makes you follow a blog? posts63: Favorite kind of person:girl64: Favorite animal(s):dogs/cats65: Name three of your favorite blogs. @lolfunnykpop @acutest-angle @27-umbrellas66: Favorite emoticon: thumbs up67: Favorite meme: ive connected the dots68: What is your MBTI personality type?pic69: What is your star sign?my wut?70: Can your dog roll over on command, if you have a dog?yes71: What outfit out of all your clothes do you like to wear the most?its black, its formalish, its a pushup bra, dress, and heelys.72: Post a selfie or two?i like dont have any, and im in no statye to be taking them rn.

73: Do you have platform shoes?no?

74: What is one random but interesting fact about yourself?i forgot a wholeass language75: Can you do a front flip?no76: Do you like birds?y77: Do you like to swim?ew78: Is swimming or ice skating more fun to you?no79: Something you wish didn’t exist:homophobia80: Some thing you wish did exist:universal translators81: Piercings you have?double in each ear82: Something you really enjoy doing:read83: Favorite person to talk to:dog84: What was your first impression of Tumblr?no rules here.85: How many followers do you have?all together, a thousand or two?86: Can you run a mile within ten minutes? idk87: Do your socks always match?no88: Can you touch your toes and keep your legs straight completely?ill cry89: What are your birthstones? the lite blu one90: If you were an animal, which one would you be?i aint no furry.91: If a flower could aesthetically represent you, what kind would it be?a rose92: A store you hate? chick fil a93: How many cups of coffee can you drink in one day? i got addicted, so ive been coffee free for 3 yrs now94: Would you rather be able to fly or read minds? fly95: Do you like to wear camo? no96: Winter or summer?winter97: How long can you hold your breath for?40sec98: Least favorite person?trump99: Someone you look up to:amber liu100: A store you love?office depot101: Favorite type of shoes? heelys102: Where do you live? oregon103: Are you a vegetarian or vegan? If so, why?vegetarian, environment/animal right, eggs for health.104: What is your favorite mineral or gem? sparkle105: Do you drink milk? yea, calcium.106: Do you like bugs?i respect their existence but stay tf away107: Do you like spiders? no108: Something you get paranoid about?spiders, water, germs109: Can you draw: sure110: Nosiest question you have ever been asked?do you shave ur vag?111: A question you hate being asked?whos ur boy friend?112: Ever been bitten by a spider?no113: Do you like the sound of waves at the beach?yea, from a distance114: Do you prefer cloudy or sunny days?sunny, from a distance115: Someone you’d like to kiss or cuddle right now: doggo116: Favorite cloud type:cotton candy?117: What color do you wish the sky was?this is fine118: Do you have freckles? like two.119: Favorite thing about a person:personality120: Fruits or vegetables?fruit121: Something you want to do right now:crochet122: Is the ocean or sky prettier?sky123: Sweet or sour foods?sweet124: Bright or dim lights?dim, i have oddball vision issues.125: Do you believe in a certain magical creature?love126: Something you hate about Tumblr:no dates on anything/ALL THE FREAKING PORNBOTS THAT ARE STILL FOLLOWING ME REGULARLY127: Something you love about Tumblr:shitposts128: What do you think about the least?i feel like this is a paradox129: What would you want written on your tombstone?list of my achievements in life(born:xxxx died:xxxx)130: Who would you like to punch in the face right now?ice131: What is something you love but also hate about yourself?how my brain occasionally forgets to filter132: Do you smile with your teeth showing for pictures?sometimes133: Computer or TV?computer134: Do you like roller coasters?ew, all that sweat and vomit baked into the seats.135: Do you get motion sickness or seasickness?no136: Are your ears lobed or attached?lobed137: Do you believe in karma?idk, i like to be nice but secretly with passive aggressive motives.138: On a scale of 1-10, how attractive would you say you are?7139: What nicknames do you have/have had?dictionary, lee, tumblr girl, dibi, mom, my child, heely girl (i have a reputation at school)140: Did you have any pretend or imaginary friends?yea, i dont remember them, but apparently i invented myself a butler.141: Have you ever seen a therapist/shrink?way back in the day142: Would you say you are a good or bad influence to others?good143: Do you prefer giving or receiving gifts/help?giving144: What makes you angryamerica145: How many languages do you speak fluently? 1146: Do you prefer boys, girls, and/or non-binaries? girls147: Are you androgynous? no148: Favorite physical thing about yourself: figure/hair149: Favorite thing about your personality: i think im funny150: Name three people you would like to talk to right now in person. my friend’s mom/my coach, my rolemodel/friend, my past self.151: If you could go back into time and live in one era, which would you choose? all the eras sucked for people like myself152: Do you like BuzzFeed?love/hate153: How did you meet your spouse/girlfriend/boyfriend/partner? [If you have one.]sexy free and single154: Do you like to kiss others’ foreheads or hands for platonic reasons? o yeah155: Do you like to play with others’ hair?yessss156: What embarrasses you?my mouth157: Something that makes you nervous/anxious:the internment camps158: Biggest lie you have ever told:so many159: How many people are you following?153160: How many posts do you have on your blog(s)?10000+161: How many drafts do you have on your blog(s)?1000+162: How many likes do you have on your blog(s)?how do i find this?163: Last time you cried and why: today. latest superstore episode.164: Do you have long or short hair?long165: Longest your hair has ever been:2.5 ft166: Why do you like, dislike, or have neutral feelings about religon?like the community it provides, dislike a lot of values taught, dislike the exclusivity, dislike the way religion is treated as a default. 167: Do you really care how the universe and world was created? only in regards to what we can do to save it.168: Do you like to wear makeup?i like sparkly eyeshadow n mascara. but dont wear regularly.169: Can you stand on your hands or head for more than thirty seconds? no170: Did you answer the questions you were asked truthfully? yea sure.

#about me #ask game #dibi speaks

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liberatingflame · 6 years

Note

1-169, asshole

lol i love you

1: How tall or short do you wish you were?

like 6′ would be perfect

2: What’s your dream pet? (Real or not)

uh. dragon? dragon.

3: Do you have a favorite clothing style?

anything that you look at and you can’t decide if it’s jock or goth

4: What was your favorite video game growing up?

spyro was the only series i was allowed to play and i lived for it

5: What three things/people do you think of most each day:

whatever i’m hyperfixated on that month, sleep, and ciaran

6: If you had a warning label, what would yours say?

warning: nearly pure taurus energy, scorpio ascending

7: What is your opinion on alpacas?

they’re fluffy and better than llamas

8: What is your Greek personality type? [Sanguine, Phlegmatic, Choleric, or Melancholic]

melancholic is what i just got, but it switches between that and sanguine all the time

9: Are you ticklish?

yes.

10: Are you allergic to anything?

am i not allergic to anything?

11: What’s your sexuality?

pan

12: Do you prefer tea, coffee, or cocoa?

cocoa or tea, just never coffee

13: Are you a cat or dog person?

cat

14: Would you rather be a vampire, elf, or merperson?

merperson hands fucking down

15: Do you have a favorite Youtuber?

bazza or muselk probably

16: How tall are you?

5′6ish

17: If you had to change your name, what would you change it to?

uh. well. you see. it’s jay.

18: How much do you weigh? [Only ask this if you know the user doesn’t mind!]

lmao no

19: Do you believe in ghosts/spirits?

yes, i do

20: Do you like space or the ocean more?

i’m a “look at those stars” kind of person, but my room growing up was painted like it was underwater, so. both.

21: Are you religious?

lmao

22: Pet peeves?

harley licking my things

23: Would you rather be nocturnal or diurnal [opposite of nocturnal]?

i’d rather be diurnal because, uh, functioning human. i am nocturnal though.

24: Favorite constellation?

dickbutt

25: Favorite star?

26: Do you like ball-jointed dolls?

i don’t like dolls, but those are the cutest

27: Any phobias or fears?

sure

28: Do you think global warming is real?

look outside right now and tell me it’s not

29: Do you believe in reincarnation?

yeah, there have been enough instances of actual cases that it’s pretty hard for me to personally deny, so

30: Favorite movie?

it cycles, i still love heathers tho

31: Do you get scared easily?

kind of? not really?

32: How many pets have you own in your lifetime?

not counting fish and including harley, 7

33: Blog rate? [You’ll rate the blog of the one who’s asking.]

valid to eat fingers

34: What is a color that calms you?

blue and certain shades of red

35: Where would you like to travel and/or live?

i’m really liking washington?? i’d like to travel anywhere

36: Where were you born?

sanford, florida. hrugh.

37: What is your eye color?

blue-green

38: Introvert or extrovert?

extroverted introvert?

39: Do you believe in horoscopes and zodiacs?

it gets spooky sometimes, but like. not on a basic level for sure.

40: Hugs or kisses?

depends

41: Who is someone you would like to see/visit right now?

ngl, my sisters

42: Who is someone you love deeply?

everyone i love? uh

43: Any piercings you want?

re-pierce my cartilage and get a few more lobe piercings and just like stab me and put something in it and i’ll love it

44: Do you like tattoos and piercings?

yes.

45: Do you smoke or have you ever done so?

i’ve smoked weed, but like. eh. cigarettes are gross, they smell and feel and taste awful.

46: Talk about your crush, if you have one!

i don’t have a crush on anyone lol

47: What is a sound you really hate?

ticking

48: A sound you really love?

trains really late at night.

49: Can you do a backflip?

50: Can you do the splits?

the splits? no

51: Favorite actor and/or actress?

winona ryder

52: Favorite movie?

uh h hh h i already answered this

53: How are you feeling right now?

hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

54: What color would you like your hair to be right now?

i just dyed it but i really want it to be red again. it was like a sunset red for a while during the fading process and i’d kill for that all the time.

55: When did you feel happiest?

when a cat touched me with her tiny feet

56: Something that calms you down?

cats and their tiny feet

57: Have any mental disorders? [Only ask this if you know the user doesn’t mind!]

hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

58: What does your URL mean?

it’s based on something i said when i was not myself. i said i’d died before and i’d do it again. so i’m functionally immortal.

59: What three words describe you the most?

really fucking tired

60: Do you believe in evolution?

it’s. science.

61: What makes you unfollow a blog?

a lot. i’m not above doing things for petty reasons.

62: What makes you follow a blog?

being interested in what they post??

63: Favorite kind of person:

64: Favorite animal(s):

cats, snakes, birds

65: Name three of your favorite blogs.

@heathersadapt, @heatherspoisson, @dirtyheathersconfessions

66: Favorite emoticon:

:}€

67: Favorite meme:

horse memes. like. valid to eat fingers.

68: What is your MBTI personality type?

infp

69: What is your star sign:

taurus

70: Can your dog roll over on command, if you have a dog?

lmao no

71: What outfit out of all your clothes do you like to wear the most?

my work clothes or my pajamas

72: Post a selfie or two?

73: Do you have platform shoes?

GOD I WISH

74: What is one random but interesting fact about yourself?

i’m the bird friend

75: Can you do a front flip?

76: Do you like birds?

i love birds

77: Do you like to swim?

of course i do

78: Is swimming or ice skating more fun to you?

swimming

79: Something you wish didn’t exist:

do you want to see my blacklist or something

80: Some thing you wish did exist:

fire magic. i wish fire magic were real.

81: Piercings you have?

just ears at the moment, cartilage closed up lmao

82: Something you really enjoy doing:

sleeping, eating ice cream, listening to music. pick from my faves.

83: Favorite person to talk to:

ciaran??

84: What was your first impression of Tumblr?

god it sucks here

85: How many followers do you have?

222 and only 111 of them are spam

86: Can you run a mile within ten minutes?

in middle school, which was the last time i tried, i ran a mile in 6 minutes and 46 seconds

87: Do your socks always match?

fuck no that’s hard

88: Can you touch your toes and keep your legs straight completely?

yes

89: What are your birthstones?

diamond? stones?

90: If you were an animal, which one would you be?

a cockatoo probably

91: If a flower could aesthetically represent you, what kind would it be?

i don’t fucking know

92: A store you hate?

walmart and the ones that smell bad in the mall

93: How many cups of coffee can you drink in one day?

many, but i hate coffee so i drink none

94: Would you rather be able to fly or read minds?

fly, i don’t want to know what’s going through anyone else’s mind

95: Do you like to wear camo?

no. i did in elementary school.

96: Winter or summer?

winter

97: How long can you hold your breath for?

long enough to cross the bridge in spirited away

98: Least favorite person?

it’s all family all the way

99: Someone you look up to:

myself

100: A store you love?

target, lush

101: Favorite type of shoes

boots!! boots!!!! i also like sneakers

102: Where do you live?

outside of seattle

103: Are you a vegetarian or vegan? If so, why?

no i like meat

104: What is your favorite mineral or gem?

uhhhh opals are the most diverse and coolest?

105: Do you drink milk?

106: Do you like bugs?

107: Do you like spiders?

108: Something you get paranoid about?

hhhh

109: Can you draw:

yes, but is it good? absolutely not

110: Nosiest question you have ever been asked?

this one

111: A question you hate being asked?

this one

112: Ever been bitten by a spider?

i lived in florida. yes.

113: Do you like the sound of waves at the beach?

i love them

114: Do you prefer cloudy or sunny days?

cloudy, i moved to washington for a reason

115: Someone you’d like to kiss or cuddle right now:

i’m comfortable right now actually

116: Favorite cloud type:

the kind in the sky

117: What color do you wish the sky was?

i wish i caught the sunset today

118: Do you have freckles?

no :(

119: Favorite thing about a person:

varies person to person

120: Fruits or vegetables?

i’m allergic to most fruits i like, but i like them more than vegetables anyways, so.

121: Something you want to do right now:

sleep or play bbs

122: Is the ocean or sky prettier?

they’re both gorgeous, fuck off

123: Sweet or sour foods?

depends on the mood

124: Bright or dim lights?

dim, mostly

125: Do you believe in a certain magical creature?

me, i believe in me

126: Something you hate about Tumblr:

tumblr

127: Something you love about Tumblr:

friends

128: What do you think about the least?

i don’t think about it, i don’t know

129: What would you want written on your tombstone?

believe it

130: Who would you like to punch in the face right now?

i have a list

131: What is something you love but also hate about yourself?

132: Do you smile with your teeth showing for pictures?

not normally, no

133: Computer or TV?

computer

134: Do you like roller coasters?

yes

135: Do you get motion sickness or seasickness?

only sometimes

136: Are your ears lobed or attached

attached

137: Do you believe in karma?

no, bad people don’t always get what’s coming to them and it sucks

138: On a scale of 1-10, how attractive would you say you are?

like 5?

139: What nicknames do you have/have had?

hate nicknames

140: Did you have any pretend or imaginary friends?

nah

141: Have you ever seen a therapist/shrink?

yeah, she sucked

142: Would you say you are a good or bad influence to others?

it depends on the person???? i’m both

143: Do you prefer giving or receiving gifts/help?

both are good!

144: What makes you angry

family

145: How many languages do you speak fluently?

none, i can’t speak

146: Do you prefer boys, girls, and/or non-binaries?

yes

147: Are you androgynous?

god i wish, my boobs are too big

148: Favorite physical thing about yourself:

my hair is so fucking fluffy

149: Favorite thing about your personality:

i don’t have one

150: Name three people you would like to talk to right now in person.

ciaran, i’m good.

151: If you could go back into time and live in one era, which would you choose?

BT: before trump

152: Do you like BuzzFeed?

no, but i’m on it all the time.

153: How did you meet your spouse/girlfriend/boyfriend/partner? [If you have one.]

i met my partner in being broke in high school

154: Do you like to kiss others’ foreheads or hands for platonic reasons?

155: Do you like to play with others’ hair?

156: What embarrasses you?

i just told ciaran i wore camo in elementary school and that’s embarrassing

157: Something that makes you nervous/anxious:

anxiety

158: Biggest lie you have ever told:

idk i don’t keep track

159: How many people are you following?

451

160: How many posts do you have on your blog(s)?

14199

161: How many drafts do you have on your blog(s)?

162: How many likes do you have on your blog(s)?

4190

163: Last time you cried and why:

i dont remember

164: Do you have long or short hair?

mid length

165: Longest your hair has ever been:

to my butt

166: Why do you like, dislike, or have neutral feelings about religon?

i was raised roman catholic by overbearing adults with racist views so im not friends w religion anymore

167: Do you really care how the universe and world was created?

168: Do you like to wear makeup?

sometimes

169: Can you stand on your hands or head for more than thirty seconds?

#lunatroph

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jeffreypjacobs · 4 years

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The No Nonsense Guide To Your First Cruise

So you’re thinking about going on a cruise? I can think of few things more polarizing than cruising when it comes to travel. Ask two people who have gone on a cruise and chances are you’ll find one that won’t vacation any other way, and another that has sworn off cruises forever. Forget the naysayers for a minute—some people will find fault with almost anything. Cruises are awesome. And if you’ve not yet experienced one, it’s high time you did. That’s why I decided to write this no nonsense guide to your first cruise, so that we can talk about cruises, what you need to know, and why you should absolutely consider getting on board—pun intended. Let’s get started.

Why You Should Go on a Cruise

So, why go on a cruise? That’s easy. For starters, cruises are incredibly convenient. Think of a cruise as a way of visiting several exotic places while only having to unpack once. Americans will spend $100 Billion on vacations this year, the average spending 10 percent of their income on getting away. Because of that, there can be tremendous pressure on the planning phase. With a cruise, you don’t have to find a hotel for the night, plan transportation, or find just the right restaurant, all the work is done for you, you just need to relax and enjoy the ride.

Next, cruises are relatively cheap. Of course, there are many variables to consider, but there are several itineraries on the mainstream cruise lines that are priced at less than $100 per person, per day. When you consider that that includes the room, meals in most of the dining rooms, entertainment in most of the onboard venues, access to the pools and fitness centers, and limited drink options, that’s a much better value than you’ll probably ever find on land.

Finally, there are so many options! Cruises are absolutely, positively not “One Size Fits All.” From the largest ship in the world, Royal Caribbean’s 5,400 passenger Symphony of The Seas, to Viking’s Long Ships cruising European rivers, to French Country Waterways’ 12-person barges, there is literally something for everyone’s taste.

Start With a Starter Cruise

To get you started on your cruising adventures, I recommend you consider a “starter cruise.” This is a fantastic way to dip your toes in the water, as it were, and see what you think. And, from a practical standpoint, there is no reason to spend a bunch of money on airfare and a lengthy itinerary, when you might find going on a boat is just not for you. There are lots of choices that offer a starter cruise of three, four, or five nights that can give you a taste of the experience without a significant commitment. My wife and I are cruise veterans, and we experiment with what we like to call our “cruise adventures” on a regular basis.

In fact, we recently jumped on something that would be perfect for a “starter cruise.” The ship boarded in Charleston, SC, which is a few hours’ drive for us, and we spent five nights with two days at sea and two stops in the Bahamas. It was the perfect easy getaway for a chance to unplug and relax, and for a newbie, a great way to test your cruise-ability.

Where and How to Get the Best Deals on Cruises

If that sounds like a good idea, the next questions are logically where and how to get the best deals on cruises. First things first here: Know there is no such thing as full price. Nobody who knows what they’re doing pays full price, and that’s part of my mission with this article, to teach you just that.

Let’s start with where the deals are. First, think about where you would like to go, and find what cruise lines have those ports of call. The internet is your friend on this front. Sign up for the cruise lines’ newsletters and you’ll quickly see that your email inbox will fill up with offers like cabin upgrades, onboard ship credits, and discounts on excursions. Watch for bundles, which are where the cruise lines put together airfare, rental cars, and hotel stays, as a bundled deal. Make sure you do your homework and compare pricing from other suppliers for the same deal.

It also pays to be patient. This is where being retired, like my wife and I are, can really pay off, because we are free to go and do without having to worry about planning much in advance. If it sounds like I’m bragging about that, you might be right. I’m not going to lie—retirement is awesome. I digressed—back to being patient. Know that the closer you get to the start date of the cruise, the lower the prices get. Why? Because the cruise lines make their money from what passengers buy on the ship, so none of them want empty staterooms. If you are willing to risk that some itineraries could sell out during prime season, or some excursions might not be available, then you could score amazing cruise discounts, cabin upgrades, onboard ship credits, or all of the above at a fraction of the originally published prices. While you can utilize your traditional travel agent, there are tons of sites where you can fashion your own deals. We have been successful with Vacations To Go on several occasions, and you might also try Cruise Sheet. We actually got the best deal most recently, and airline miles, by using an offer from our airline credit card company. They also were looking to promote a travel bundle with the cruise as a significant incentive. We jumped at the opportunity!

Reviews Can Be Your BFF, So Check Them!

Before you make that great deal purchase, check one more thing—reviews can be your BFF. Check out the specific boat that you will be on. There are all sorts of reviews available online for the exact itinerary on the exact ship you’re considering. Your fellow cruisers are amazing and you’ll find that many of them write reviews on critical details like when the ship was last refurbished (that’s important—look for words like “tired”), and their experiences with excursions. You don’t want to spend your hard-earned money on the jeep excursion with vehicles that don’t work, or the all-inclusive beach day with food that reviewers call “absolutely terrible.” Reviews, and fellow travelers are very much your friend in this regard. Your fellow travelers have gone before you, and done a bunch of the legwork. Make sure you spend a lot of time reading the reviews they’ve written and factor that into your final decision.

All-Inclusive? Not If You’re Thirsty

Everybody likes the all-inclusive deals, but defining exactly what that means, before you go on a cruise adventure, is important. On a cruise ship, while many things are included, some, like alcoholic beverages, are generally not. While most of your dining options include free non-bottled water, iced tea or lemonade with dinner, they definitely don’t include alcohol, and likely not soft drinks either. Check your specific cruise options in advance so that you’ll know what’s included, as well as what you can bring on board. Some lines let you bring a case of bottled water, some soft drinks and two bottles of wine on board, and those are definitely things you want to do if you’re able. You can also purchase upgrades for liquor or soft drinks, but no matter what you do, just make sure you know what’s included and what’s not, and also do the math before buying upgrades.

Internet access is also not included with your cruise. While I personally recommend taking the advantage of that and simply unplugging and relaxing while you are on board, if you absolutely have to check that Facebook account, there is Wifi throughout most of the larger ships. There are usually internet kiosks available, as well, with internet access available hourly, daily, or for the whole cruise. Some options include paying more for “higher speed” internet, but be aware, it’s not like the internet at home. It’s a satellite service and depending on where you are, it can be S-L-O-W. Also be aware that most of the ships use an open internet access, so the usual caution should be taken with what you access and information you transmit while online.

Motion Sickness, Shopping, and Gratuities

Motion Sickness. If you’ve never been on a cruise, it’s normal to worry a bit about motion sickness. After all, it’s not like you can simply hop off if you succumb to motion sickness, so it’s a legitimate concern. Today’s large cruise ships have stabilizers internally but some people still struggle with motion sickness and getting accustomed to being at sea. If you’re at all concerned that you might have an issue with that, consider booking a cabin with at least a window, located mid-ship and on a lower deck, where there is the least amount of motion. Come prepared, just in case. Bring Scopolamine patches or take Dramamine or Bonine, or wear the special wristbands designed to help combat seasickness.

Shopping. If possible, it’s generally a good idea to resist the urge to shop onboard. You will be tempted by the shops with everything from souvenirs to jewelry to “duty-free” alcohol. It’s a bit like shopping in an airport—you’re a captive audience, and probably not spending a lot of time thinking about price-checking. They count on that, you can be sure! Make sure especially avoid the art auctions. After a couple of drinks and a good meal, the deals may indeed seem too good to be true, and trust me, they generally are!

Gratuities. Finally, a word about gratuities. The ship’s crew make their living from tips, and many lines automatically include gratuities on your bill as a percentage of the cost of the cruise. That’s not a bad thing, as it would be hard for you to tip the crew members you never see. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t tip the room service delivery guy (if this is a cruise deal, much of the room service food is included), just be aware of what is included, and what isn’t. Pay attention, or ask if you’re not sure. For example, the bill at the bar is likely to include both a standard tip, and a line for you to include another. Unless you got service over and above whatever the standard tip covers, maybe you don’t want to include another. Or, maybe your service was so spectacular and over the top, you do. Whichever route you go, just know that gratuities are often something that are built into what you’re paying, so pay attention and tip where and when it makes sense to reward great service.

Wrapping It Up

There you have it, my best advice on how to get started if you’re thinking about taking that first cruise adventure. My wife and I have been on a ton of cruises and, while do other kinds of vacation trips as well, we really enjoy cruises and the places we’ve seen and the adventures we’ve had as a result. I know that it can seem overwhelming if you’ve not ever been on a cruise, so I thought this getting started cruising guide might be just the resource you’re looking for.

There are lots of choices, and a ton of adventure out there, just waiting for you. Hopefully you’ll find this information helpful as you set about planning your first (and subsequent) cruises), and you’ll come back and let me know how it went. If you have questions that I’ve not answered here, let me know in the comments, and I’m happy to help. Happy Cruising!

This post first appeared on the Middle Chicks Blog.

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josephlrushing · 4 years

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Take Reliefband 2.0 on Your Next Cruise, a Second Look Review

A few years ago, Raina convinced me to take a cruise. I’ve never had any interest in such a vacation, but, much to my surprise, I enjoyed it. Since then we’ve taken several additional cruises. The only problem? I get seasick. Thankfully, for our last cruise, I had the opportunity to try the Reliefband 2.0. Let’s take a look.

I was sent the ReliefBand 2.0. (Judie has one and reviewed it a few years ago. Here’s her original review.)

As you can see from this comparison picture, it’s a far more refined device than the original version. It looks very much like a fitness band. It doesn’t have a display, however, and offers no fitness band features. Instead, it offers relief from a variety of ailments that have to do with motion and other assorted nausea-inducing issues.

The company describes the product as:

100% natural, FDA cleared prevention and treatment of nausea and vomiting. It’s drug-free, clinically proven, and doctor recommended to get fast and effective relief without drugs and without delay.

Before getting the Reliefband I tried several different remedies. I popped Bonine pills regularly; I had acupressure bands on each of my wrists and, the one time during a cruise in the Galapagos Islands when the seas got very rough, I took Dramamine. Here’s a chart showing a comparison between what Reliedbad offers and some of the more common approaches to dealing with motion sickness with their product.

The people behind the Reliefband aren’t shy about singing their product’s praises. Here’s just one example:

Reclaim Your Life From The Fear Of Nausea: The original non-invasive, class II neuromodulation device that is cleared by the FDA for the prevention and treatment of nausea and vomiting associated with motion sickness, morning sickness, chemotherapy, and post-operative nausea, and now cleared to prevent and relieve nausea and vomiting associated with physician-diagnosed migraines, anxiety, and hangovers.

They go on to enumerate the various issues from which you can be helped using their technology. These include:

The review sample I received indicates that this is the ReliefBand 2.0. It’s currently listed for just under $200 on their website. (Currently, the website refers to this as the Reliefband Premiere. Taking a look at the website indicates that they are one in the same product.) They also offer the original version, which is now just under $100, while this updated version for just under $200.

Inside the box, you get the Reliefband 2.0 device, a magnetic USB charging cable, a 7.5 mL tube (0.25 oz) of hypoallergenic conductivity gel, and instructions for how to use the product.

The fact that it uses a proprietary charging system is a bit of a bummer considering the fact that if you lose the charging cable during a trip, you won’t be able to get relief until you’re able to purchase a replacement. That could turn a great trip into something awful.

When ordering the product, you get your choice of color. There’s a version that comes in charcoal and there’s the version that I received which is referred to as “denim slate blue.”

As I noted previously, the original version which looks like you’re wearing something from a 1960s science-fiction show. This updated version looks like a refined fitness tracker.

Reliefband has no side effects, works quickly, is clinically proven, and has been tested in hospitals. Unlike the acupressure bands that I wore during my first cruises, using Reliefband requires a bit of “set up.” To get started, you need to charge the device using the proprietary charging cable included in the box. The device takes about two hours to charge fully and should give you close to 17 hours of use at mid-intensity. You then place a small drop of the contact gel on the underside of your wrist. This contact gel allows the electrical current from the device to have an impact on your nervous system.

But how, you might ask, does Reliefband work? It’s not magic. It’s science… and biology.

Reliefband uses patented, clinically-proven, FDA-cleared technology to treat motion sickness. The unique neuromodulation technology was developed for use in hospitals and alters nerve activity through targeted delivery of gentle pulses to the underside of the wrist to “turn off” feelings of nausea, retching, and vomiting. It works quickly without side effects.

1 Reliefband 2.0 delivers proprietary pulses from the contacts on the unique J-Band that signal the median nerve at the P6 location on the underside of the wrist.

2 These signals travel through the body’s nervous system to the part of the brain which controls nausea, retching, and vomiting

3 The signals have a rebalancing effect, normalizing nerve messages from the brain to the stomach and reducing symptoms of nausea, retching and vomiting.

This video explains the science visually:

youtube

Reliefband describes the process of using Reliefband as “AAA”:

AREA: Find the starting area on the wrist. Using either wrist, the correct area is in between the two tendons on the underside of the wrist – two finger widths from the first crease in the wrist.

APPLY: Clean the area first. Apply a small drop of gel and spread in a circle about the size of a large coin with an even sheen.

ADJUST & ACTIVATE: Place the device over the gelled area and fasten device snugly. Press the power button to turn on the device. Starting at power level 1, increase stimulation until tingling is felt in palm and middle finger at a comfortable level. Press the power button for 3 seconds to turn the device off.

Here’s a video explaining how to use the product:

youtube

This diagram shows the controls and the display of Reliefband 2.0/Reliefband Premier.

The company also offer these suggestions for getting the maximum benefit from the device:

While still on the wrist, turn Reliefband off periodically to determine if you still have nausea and vomiting symptoms. If you still have symptoms, then turn it back on immediately.

Try Reliefband on each wrist and use it on the wrist where the greatest tingling is felt at the lowest setting.

For some people, applying and rubbing in the gel twice assists in nerve stimulation.

Reliefband Gel should be re-applied every 2-3 hours, any time after washing, or if stimulation decreases.

If you have sensitive skin, then wipe the band, contacts, and skin around wrist with a clean, damp wipe (no soap or cleanser) before reapplying gel.

You can apply extra gel if the tingle feels too strong on level 1.

A few things stand out from this list. First, they clearly understand that not everyone will get the maximum benefit immediately. That’s why they suggest trying it on both wrists to see which one has the greatest effect. They also understand that adjusting the intensity is going to be a trial and error process but is an important part of the process. Finally, as they indicate, it’s important to have plenty of Reliefband Gel on hand since it won’t work without it.

So how, you might ask, did it work for me?

My answer is that I give it a mixed, or at least incomplete, review. On the one hand, I didn’t find myself having any nausea during our cruise at the beginning of this month. Then again, the seas were never that rough, so I don’t have a good sense of how effective the product was. Don’t get me wrong, I’m a big believer in this technology. One of the ways I deal with the pain from my rheumatoid arthritis is through the use of a device that takes a similar approach and sends an electrical charge through my nervous system to reduce pain and inflammation because the waters were fairly calm, though it’s hard for me to know whether or not this was truly working to alleviate my seasickness.

But here’s the thing. If you have ever been seasick, you know that it’s one of the more miserable experiences one can have. You know that seasickness can ruin a trip. And you know that once you get seasick, it’s very difficult to feel better. In other words, seasickness sucks. And if you are someone who gets seasick, or gets motion sick, or is undergoing chemotherapy, or has postoperative nausea, you know that there is no amount of money that is too much if something can offer relief. So while I wish I could finish this review with something along the lines of, “I have suffered from seasickness every time I’ve been on a cruise and for the first time thanks to ReliefBand 2.0 I felt great the entire cruise…”- I can’t.

What I can say, however, is that if you do suffer for motion sickness or seasickness or morning sickness or any other type of nausea, it’s worth trying this device. It comes with a 30-day money-back guarantee and it’s only $200. Purchase one right before you take your next trip or if you’re currently fighting regular periods of nausea because of something happening in your body and see if it works. If it does, make sure to order some extra tubes of contact gel on hand. They’re only $14.99, and you want to have enough to keep the device working. If, however, you purchase the device and it doesn’t give you the relief that you were hoping for, simply return it and get your money back. You have 30 days to try it and really nothing to lose.

As for me, I will be taking a cruise to Alaska this coming July, and I’ll be taking relief been 2.0 with me. I suspect the seas will be a little rougher than we experienced in the Caribbean this month, and it’ll be a better test of whether or not this particular approach solves my seasickness. Seasickness is horrible, but it’s not going to keep me from taking the types of vacations and having the kind of experiences that Raina and I want to have.

The ReliefBand 2.0 sells for $199.99 (or you can purchase the original relief band for under $100); they are available directly from the manufacturer.

Source: Manufacturer supplied review sample of Reliefband 2.0.

What I Like: Reliefband 2.0 looks like a fitness device; Comfortable; Drug-free relief from many common stomach ailments caused by motion, illness or pregnancy; Easy to use; Comes with a 30-day money-back guarantee so you can try it and determine if it offers enough relief

What Needs Improvement: Requires gel to work; Proprietary cable is annoying; Needs frequent recharging; Gel must be reapplied regularly

from Joseph Rushing https://geardiary.com/2020/01/29/take-reliefband-2-0-on-your-next-cruise-a-second-look-review/

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wendysloane · 6 years

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Going Dutch

Teach your kids to appreciate time and distance with a driving holiday abroad

I spent a month working for a magazine in Amsterdam when I was in my mid-twenties. I can’t say I had the wildest time of my life, but strolling through the red light district, visiting the various legal ‘Maryjane cafes’ and drinking pint after pint of Hoegaarden wheat beer in various bars all played a significant part contributing to my enjoyment factor.

What a difference two decades makes! Returning to the Netherlands with three kids in tow is little like visiting an old flame after 20 years. Everything kind of looks the same (minus the wrinkles, receding hairline and paunch, of course), but the way you feel is decidedly different.

We started our trip with two-hour drive to catch a Stena Line ferry from Harwich to the Hook of Holland. Once we had listened to our children’s cassettes four times each and played I-Spy 1,146 times, the novelty factor of a long drive had worn off. Luckily, we reached the port just before the kids (and us) were about to implode.

The ferry crossing is less than four hours long and went by quickly, thanks to a crusty magician called Adrian who entertained them with sleight-of-the-hand tricks, a Punch and Judy show and balloon-twisting. When they got hungry, despite the rocking of the boat, we ordered chicken and chips, which was surprisingly edible (although the spongy vegetable accompaniment was not). [

An hour and half drive followed to Eindhoven, during which time the kids were mesmerised by all the greenhouses, windmills, canals and cows. ‘Why do those cows look different from our cows?’ Josie kept asking. Not being a cattle expert – or livestock aficionado – I was loathe to answer. ‘Because they do,’ I said for the tenth time.

It rained in Eindhoven, and rained and rained, and we spent most of the time with our lovely friends, Steve and Lynn, and walking through an indoor mall with a fantastic cafeteria-type cafe. So it was the next two days with our old friends Mary Lee, Kiwi, Hugh and Avery in Amsterdam, my former love, which really caught the children’s attention.

Their favourite activity by far (apart from spending time with Avery) was an afternoon in the NEMO science museum, a surprisingly large structure that resembles a decaying green ship from the outside. The minute we entered the children were entranced, even Clementine, now yet two. From the child-sized bubbles they could make themselves to the 12-foot tall robot called Elektra with her funky hairdo, they loved every minute of it – as well as walking along the canals and river to get there.

We left NEMO in a daze ( luckily we managed to stay steady enough not to push the buggy into a canal) and the next day visited the Anne Frank house. Duncan wasn’t sure the children were old enough to visit, and while Tilly barely grasped the house’s significance, it certainly made an impression on Josie. ‘I don’t want to be Jewish anymore” she kept repeating loudly, much to my embarrassment. Well Jos, you don’t have a choice.

We drove home the next day looking forward to the seeing the ship’s magician for the second time, and apart from one big puke (see above) our crossing back to Blighty was fairly uneventful. Next time I’ll definitely remember the seasickness medicine…

What is it? A driving holiday from north London to two cities in the Netherlands, Eindhoven and Amsterdam.

Where? We decided to forsake the comforts of air travel and drove two hours to Harwich, where we caught a Stena Line ferry to the Hook of Holland – and drove an hour and a half more to Eindhoven. We stayed there two nights then spent 48 hours in Amsterdam before driving home.

Description: Although the constant refrains of ‘When are we there?’ mingled with endless repetitions of children’s casettes on the car radio nearly drove me to commit triple infanticide, visiting the Netherlands was worth it in the end (I think).

Eindhoven is an unusual town, and we have good friends there. Amsterdam is a fantastic place for children, it’s very child-friendly with lots for them to do. Everyone speaks English, the food is excellent – and we have good friends there as well.

It was raining in Eindhoven, so we armed ourselves with umbrellas and walked to the town centre, where we had a fantastic lunch. There is a brilliant art museum, nice swimming baths and other child-friendly acitivities, but we contented ourselves with being lazy pedestrian tourists. Amsterdam has everything, from canal trips to cafes, from museums to parks, to raves and red-light districts. There is also great (read: cheap) shopping.

One evening in Amsterdam we roped in a babysitter and visited some Dutch friends for dinner at a small restaurant on the Jordaan called Tante Agaat. Delicious. But if you’re looking for something more exciting, Amsterdam has everything any large European city has to offer – the only difference is that most of it here is legal.

By far the best childcare provider was the boat’s magician, who happily entertained all three of our children for an hour on both crossings. All the other children looked similarly entertained, while all the parents appeared blissfully carefree. Wonder why?

Again, Amsterdam has everything London has – at cheaper prices. Next time I want a facial, manicure, pedicure and great haircut, it might be worth the dough to cross the Channel and do it over here.

Local activities: Apart from eating, drinking, shopping and strolling, we took in two major activities: the Science Museum NEMO and the Anne Frank House. We also took advantage of the many playgrounds dotted throughout both cities, which had lots of activities the children enjoyed. Hey, why spend money when you don’t have to?

Wish we had known: That our baby daughter, Clementine, was about to be violently seasick on the ferry. I had dosed the girls with Fenergan (miracle drug that does as well for allergies as it does for motion sickness – highly recommended) before we went and they took every toss and turn in stride. But as Clementine is not yet two – and has never been even mildly carsick – I thought medicine would do her more harm than good. Unfortunately, I had left spare changes of clothes locked on the car deck, so apres le deluge she had to go topless for the remainder of the crossing. Her jeans remained impressively unsullied.

Our top tip: If you plan to wander along the canals enjoying the outdoor clothing and flower markets while stopping for an occasional coffee, think again. Dutch weather is as fickle as British weather, so make alternative plans just in ase it starts to pour down. There are loads of things to do inside, but you may have to do a bit of research!

Kids say: ‘The magician on the boat was really fun, he gave me a balloon filled with sweeties,’ says Josie, six. ‘I wish we could have spent more time with Elektra,’ says Tilly, four. ‘Better get a bucket,’ thought Clementine, almost two.

Getting There: There are three daily crossings on the Harwich to the Hoek van Holland route with crossings taking 3hrs 40 minutes on the HSS Discovery nd 6hrs 30 minutes on the day and overnight Superferries, with prices starting from L59* per person. For more information, visit www.stenaline.co.uk or call 08705 70 70 70. * Full terms and conditions are online.

* Wendy Sloane is the Travel Editor of entertainthekids.com. She divides her time between writing and taking care of her three daughters, Josie, Tilly and Clementine. ORIGINALLY POSTED 2006

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book-babe · 7 years

Text

The Upper Berth - F Marion Crawford

Somebody asked for the cigars. We had talked long, and the conversation was beginning to languish; the tobacco smoke had got into the heavy curtains, the wine had got into those brains which were liable to become heavy, and it was already perfectly evident that, unless somebody did something to rouse our oppressed spirits, the meeting would soon come to its natural conclusion, and we, the guests, would speedily go home to bed, and most certainly to sleep. No one had said anything very remarkable; it may be that no one had anything very remarkable to say. Jones had given us every particular of his last hunting adventure in Yorkshire. Mr. Tompkins, of Boston, had explained at elaborate length those working principles, by the due and careful maintenance of which the Atchison, Topeka, and Santa Fe Railroad not only extended its territory, increased its departmental influence, and transported live stock without starving them to death before the day of actual delivery, but, also, had for years succeeded in deceiving those passengers who bought its tickets into the fallacious belief that the corporation aforesaid was really able to transport human life without destroying it. Signer Tombola had endeavoured to persuade us, by arguments which we took no trouble to oppose, that the unity of his country in no way resembled the average modern torpedo, carefully planned, constructed with all the skill of the greatest European arsenals, but, when constructed, destined to be directed by feeble hands into a region where it must undoubtedly explode, unseen, unfeared, and unheard, into the illimitable wastes of political chaos.

It is unnecessary to go into further details. The conversation had assumed proportions which would have bored Prometheus on his rock, which would have driven Tantalus to distraction, and which would have impelled Ixion to seek relaxation in the simple but instructive dialogues of Herr Ollendorff, rather than submit to the greater evil of listening to our talk. We had sat at table for hours; we were bored, we were tired, and nobody showed signs of moving.

Somebody called for cigars. We all instinctively looked towards the speaker. Brisbane was a man of five-and-thirty years of age, and remarkable for those gifts which chiefly attract the attention of men. He was a strong man. The external proportions of his figure presented nothing extraordinary to the common eye, though his size was above the average. He was a little over six feet in height, and moderately broad in the shoulder; he did not appear to be stout, but, on the other hand, he was certainly not thin; his small head was supported by a strong and sinewy neck; his broad, muscular hands appeared to possess a peculiar skill in breaking walnuts without the assistance of the ordinary cracker, and, seeing him in profile, one could not help remarking the extraordinary breadth of his sleeves, and the unusual thickness of his chest. He was one of those men who are commonly spoken of among men as deceptive; that is to say, that though he looked exceedingly strong he was in reality very much stronger than he looked. Of his features I need say little. His head is small, his hair is thin, his eyes are blue, his nose is large, he has a small moustache, and a square jaw. Everybody knows Brisbane, and when he asked for a cigar everybody looked at him.

"It is a very singular thing," said Brisbane.

Everybody stopped talking. Brisbane's voice was not loud, but possessed a peculiar quality of penetrating general conversation, and cutting it like a knife. Everybody listened. Brisbane, perceiving that he had attracted their general attention, lit his cigar with great equanimity.

"It is very singular," he continued, "that thing about ghosts. People are always asking whether anybody has seen a ghost. I have."

"Bosh! What, you? You don't mean to say so, Brisbane? Well, for a man of his intelligence!"

A chorus of exclamations greeted Brisbane's remarkable statement. Everybody called for cigars, and Stubbs, the butler, suddenly appeared from the depths of nowhere with a fresh bottle of dry champagne. The situation was saved; Brisbane was going to tell a story.

I am an old sailor, said Brisbane, and as I have to cross the Atlantic pretty often, I have my favourites. Most men have their favourites. I have seen a man wait in a Broadway bar for three-quarters of an hour for a particular car which he liked. I believe the bar-keeper made at least one-third of his living by that man's preference. I have a habit of waiting for certain ships when I am obliged to cross that duck-pond. It may be a prejudice, but I was never cheated out of a good passage but once in my life. I remember it very well; it was a warm morning in June, and the Custom House officials, who were hanging about waiting for a steamer already on her way up from the Quarantine, presented a peculiarly hazy and thoughtful appearance. I had not much luggage—I never have. I mingled with the crowd of passengers, porters, and officious individuals in blue coats and brass buttons, who seemed to spring up like mushrooms from the deck of a moored steamer to obtrude their unnecessary services upon the independent passenger. I have often noticed with a certain interest the spontaneous evolution of these fellows. They are not there when you arrive; five minutes after the pilot has called "Go ahead!" they, or at least their blue coats and brass buttons, have disappeared from deck and gangway as completely as though they had been consigned to that locker which tradition unanimously ascribes to Davy Jones. But, at the moment of starting, they are there, clean shaved, blue-coated, and ravenous for fees. I hastened on board. The Kamtschatka was one of my favourite ships. I say was, because she emphatically no longer is. I cannot conceive of any inducement which could entice me to make another voyage in her. Yes, I know what you are going to say. She is uncommonly clean in the run aft, she has enough bluffing off in the bows to keep her dry, and the lower berths are most of them double. She has a lot of advantages, but I won't cross in her again. Excuse the digression. I got on board. I hailed a steward, whose red nose and redder whiskers were equally familiar to me.

"One hundred and five, lower berth," said I, in the business-like tone peculiar to men who think no more of crossing the Atlantic than taking a whisky cocktail at downtown Delmonico's.

The steward took my portmanteau, great-coat, and rug. I shall never forget the expression of his face. Not that he turned pale. It is maintained by the most eminent divines that even miracles cannot change the course of nature. I have no hesitation in saying that he did not turn pale; but, from his expression, I judged that he was either about to shed tears, to sneeze, or to drop my portmanteau. As the latter contained two bottles of particularly fine old sherry presented to me for my voyage by my old friend Snigginson van Pickyns, I I felt extremely nervous. But the steward did none of these things.

"Well, I'm d——d!" said he in a low voice, and led the way.

I supposed my Hermes, as he led me to the lower regions, had had a little grog, but I said nothing, and followed him. One hundred and five was on the port side, well aft. There was nothing remarkable about the state-room. The lower berth, like most of those upon the Kamtschatka, was double. There was plenty of room; there was the usual washing apparatus, calculated to convey an idea of luxury to the mind of a North American Indian; there were the usual inefficient racks of brown wood, in which it is more easy to hang a large-sized umbrella than the common tooth-brush of commerce. Upon the uninviting mattresses were carefully folded together those blankets which a great modern humorist has aptly compared to cold buckwheat cakes. The question of towels was left entirely to the imagination. The glass decanters were filled with a transparent liquid faintly tinged with brown, but from which an odour less faint, but not more pleasing, ascended to the nostrils, like a far-off sea-sick reminiscence of oily machinery. Sad-coloured curtains half closed the upper berth. The hazy June daylight shed a faint illumination upon the desolate little scene. Ugh! how I hate that state-room!

The steward deposited my traps and looked at me, as though he wanted to get away—probably in search of more passengers and more fees. It is always a good plan to start in favour with those functionaries, and I accordingly gave him certain coins there and then.

"I'll try and make yer comfortable all I can," he remarked, as he put the coins in his pocket. Nevertheless, there was a doubtful intonation in his voice which surprised me. Possibly his scale of fees had gone up, and he was not satisfied; but on the whole I was inclined to think that, as he himself would have expressed it, he was "the better for a glass." I was wrong, however, and did the man injustice.

Nothing especially worthy of mention occurred during that day. We left the pier punctually, and it was very pleasant to be fairly under way, for the weather was warm and sultry, and the motion of the steamer produced a refreshing breeze. Everybody knows what the first day at sea is like. People pace the decks and stare at each other, and occasionally meet acquaintances whom they did not know to be on board. There is the usual uncertainty as to whether the food will be good, bad, or indifferent, until the first two meals have put the matter beyond a doubt; there is the usual uncertainty about the weather, until the ship is fairly off Fire Island. The tables are crowded at first, and then suddenly thinned. Pale-faced people spring from their seats and precipitate themselves towards the door, and each old sailor breathes more freely as his seasick neighbour rushes from his side, leaving him plenty of elbow-room and an unlimited command over the mustard. One passage across the Atlantic is very much like another, and we who cross very often do not make the voyage for the sake of novelty. Whales and icebergs are indeed always objects of interest, but, after all, one whale is very much like another whale, and one rarely sees an iceberg at close quarters. To the majority of us the most delightful moment of the day on board an ocean steamer is when we have taken our last turn on deck, have smoked our last cigar, and having succeeded in tiring ourselves, feel at liberty to turn in with a clear conscience. On that first night of the voyage I felt particularly lazy, and went to bed in 105 rather earlier than I usually do. As I turned in, I was amazed to see that I was to have a companion. A portmanteau, very like my own, lay in the opposite corner, and in the upper berth had been deposited a neatly folded rug, with a stick and umbrella. I had hoped to be alone, and I was disappointed; but I wondered who my room-mate was to be, and I determined to have a look at him.

Before I had been long in bed he entered. He was, as far as I could see, a very tall man, very thin, very pale, with sandy hair and whiskers and colourless grey eyes. He had about him, I thought, an air of rather dubious fashion; the sort of man you might see in Wall Street, without being able precisely to say what he was doing there—the sort of man who frequents the Café Anglais, who always seems to be alone and who drinks champagne; you might meet him on a racecourse, but he would never appear to be doing anything there either. A little overdressed—a little odd. There are three or four of his kind on every ocean steamer. I made up my mind that I did not care to make his acquaintance, and I went to sleep saying to myself that I would study his habits in order to avoid him. If he rose early, I would rise late; if he went to bed late, I would go to bed early. I did not care to know him. If you once know people of that kind they are always turning up. Poor fellow! I need not have taken the trouble to come to so many decisions about him, for I never saw him again after that first night in 105.

I was sleeping soundly when I was suddenly waked by a loud noise. To judge from the sound, my room-mate must have sprung with a single leap from the upper berth to the floor. I heard him fumbling with the latch and bolt of the door, which opened almost immediately, and then I heard his footsteps as he ran at full speed down the passage, leaving the door open behind him. The ship was rolling a little, and I expected to hear him stumble or fall, but he ran as though he were running for his life. The door swung on its hinges with the motion of the vessel, and the sound annoyed me. I got up and shut it, and groped my way back to my berth in the darkness. I went to sleep again; but I have no idea how long I slept.

When I awoke it was still quite dark, but I felt a disagreeable sensation of cold, and it seemed to me that the air was damp. You know the peculiar smell of a cabin which has been wet with sea-water. I covered myself up as well as I could and dozed off again, framing complaints to be made the next day, and selecting the most powerful epithets in the language. I could hear my room-mate turn over in the upper berth. He had probably returned while I was asleep. Once I thought I heard him groan, and I argued that he was sea-sick. That is particularly unpleasant when one is below. Nevertheless I dozed off and slept till early daylight.

The ship was rolling heavily, much more than on the previous evening, and the grey light which came in through the porthole changed in tint with every movement according as the angle of the vessel's side turned the glass seawards or skywards. It was very cold—unaccountably so for the month of June. I turned my head and looked at the porthole, and saw to my surprise that it was wide open and hooked back. I believe I swore audibly. Then I got up and shut it. As I turned back I glanced at the upper berth. The curtains were drawn close together; my companion had probably felt cold as well as I. It struck me that I had slept enough. The state-room was uncomfortable, though, strange to say, I could not smell the dampness which had annoyed me in the night. My room-mate was still asleep—excellent opportunity for avoiding him, so I dressed at once and went on deck. The day was warm and cloudy, with an oily smell on the water. It was seven o'clock as I came out—much later than I had imagined. I came across the doctor, who was taking his first sniff of the morning air. He was a young man from the West of Ireland—a tremendous fellow, with black hair and blue eyes, already inclined to be stout; he had a happy-go-lucky, healthy look about him which was rather attractive.

"Fine morning," I remarked, by way of introduction.

"Well," said he, eyeing me with an air of ready interest, "it's a fine morning and it's not a fine morning. I don't think it's much of a morning."

"Well, no—it is not so very fine," said I.

"It's just what I call fuggly weather," replied the doctor.

"It was very cold last night, I thought," I remarked, "However, when I looked about, I found that the porthole was wide open. I had not noticed it when I went to bed. And the state-room was damp, too."

"Damp!" said he. "Whereabouts are you?"

"One hundred and five——"

To my surprise the doctor started visibly, and stared at me.

"What is the matter?" I asked.

"Oh—nothing," he answered; "Only everybody has complained of that state-room for the last three trips."

"I shall complain, too," I said. "It has certainly not been properly aired. It is a shame!"

"I don't believe it can be helped," answered the doctor. "I believe there is something—well, it is not my business to frighten passengers."

"You need not be afraid of frightening me," I replied. "I can stand any amount of damp.' If I should get a bad cold I will come to you."

I offered the doctor a cigar, which he took and examined very critically.

"It is not so much the damp," he remarked. "However, I dare say you will get on very well. Have you a room-mate?"

"Yes; a deuce of a fellow, who bolts out in the middle of the night, and leaves the door open."

Again the doctor glanced curiously at me. Then he lit the cigar and looked grave.

"Did he come back?" he asked presently.

"Yes. I was asleep, but I waked up, and heard him moving. Then I felt cold and went to sleep again. This morning I found the porthole open."

"Look here," said the doctor quietly, "I don't care much for this ship. I don't care a rap for her reputation. I tell you what I will do. I have a good-sized place up here. I will share it with you, though I don't know you from Adam."

I was very much surprised at the proposition. I could not imagine why he should take such a sudden interest in my welfare. However, his manner as he spoke of the ship was peculiar.

"You are very good, doctor," I said. "But, really, I believe even now the cabin could be aired, or cleaned out, or something. Why do you not care for the ship?"

"We are not superstitious in our profession, sir," replied the doctor, "but the sea makes people so. I don't want to prejudice you, and I don't want to frighten you, but if you will take my advice you will move in here. I would as soon see you overboard," he added earnestly, "as know that you or any other man was to sleep in 105."

"Good gracious! Why?" I asked.

"Just because on the last three trips the people who have slept there actually have gone overboard," he answered gravely.

The intelligence was startling and exceedingly unpleasant, I confess. I looked hard at the doctor to see whether he was making game of me, but he looked perfectly serious. I thanked him warmly for his offer, but told him I intended to be the exception to the rule by which everyone who slept in that particular state-room went overboard. He did not say much, but looked as grave as ever, and hinted that, before we got across, I should probably reconsider his proposal. In the course of time we went to breakfast, at which only an inconsiderable number of passengers assembled. I noticed that one or two of the officers who breakfasted with us looked grave. After breakfast I went into my state-room in order to get a book. The curtains of the upper berth were still closely drawn. Not a word was to be heard. My room-mate was probably still asleep.

As I came out I met the steward whose business it was to look after me. He whispered that the captain wanted to see me, and then scuttled away down the passage as if very anxious to avoid any questions. I went toward the captain's cabin, and found him waiting for me.

"Sir," said he, "I want to ask a favour of you."

I answered that I would do anything to oblige him.

"Your room-mate has disappeared," he said. "He is known to have turned in early last night. Did you notice anything extraordinary in his manner?"

The question coming, as it did, in exact confirmation of the fears the doctor had expressed half an hour earlier, staggered me.

"You don't mean to say he has gone overboard?" I asked.

"I fear he has," answered the captain.

"This is the most extraordinary thing——" I began.

"Why?" he asked.

"He is the fourth, then?" I explained. In answer to another question from the captain, I explained, without mentioning the doctor, that I had heard the story concerning 105. He seemed very much annoyed at hearing that I knew of it. I told him what had occurred in the night.

"What you say," he replied, "coincides almost exactly with what was told me by the room-mates of two of the other three. They bolt out of bed and run down the passage. Two of them were seen to go overboard by the watch; we stopped and lowered boats, but they were not found. Nobody, however, saw or heard the man who was lost last night—if he is really lost. The steward, who is a superstitious fellow, perhaps, and expected something to go wrong, went to look for him this morning, and found his berth empty, but his clothes lying about, just as he had left them. The steward was the only man on board who knew him by sight, and he has been searching everywhere for him. He has disappeared! Now, sir, I want to beg you not to mention the circumstance to any of the passengers; I don't want the ship to get a bad name, and nothing hangs about an ocean-goer like stories of suicides. You shall have your choice of any one of the officers' cabins you like, including my own, for the rest of the passage. Is that a fair bargain?"

"Very," said I; "and I am much obliged to you. But since I am alone, and have the state-room to myself, I would rather not move. If the steward will take out that unfortunate man's things, I would as lief stay where I am. I will not say anything about the matter, and I think I can promise you that I will not follow my room-mate."

The captain tried to dissuade me from my intention, but I preferred having a state-room alone to being the chum of any officer on board. I do not know whether I acted foolishly, but if I had taken his advice I should have had nothing more to tell; There would have remained the disagreeable coincidence of several suicides occurring among men who had slept in the same cabin, but that would have been all.

That was not the end of the matter, however, by any means. I obstinately made up my mind that I would not be disturbed by such tales, and I even went so far as to argue the question with the captain. There was something wrong about the state-room, I said. It was rather damp. The porthole had been left open last night. My room-mate might have been ill when he came on board, and he might have become delirious after he went to bed. He might even now be hiding somewhere on board, and might be found later. The place ought to be aired and the fastening of the port looked to. If the captain would give me leave, I would see that what I thought necessary was done immediately.

"Of course you have a right to stay where you are if you please," he replied, rather petulantly; "but I wish you would turn out and let me lock the place up, and be done with it."

I did not see it in the same light, and left the captain, after promising to be silent concerning the disappearance of my companion. The latter had had no acquaintances on board, and was not missed in the course of the day. Towards evening I met the doctor again, and he asked me whether I had changed my mind. I told him I had not.

"Then you will before long," he said, very gravely.

III

We played whist in the evening, and I went to bed late. I will confess now that I felt a disagreeable sensation when I entered my state-room. I could not help thinking of the tall man I had seen on the previous night, who was now dead, drowned, tossing about in the long swell, two or three hundred miles astern. His face rose very distinctly before me as I undressed, and I even went so far as to draw back the curtains of the upper berth, as though to persuade myself that he was actually gone. I also bolted the door of the state-room. Suddenly I became aware that the porthole was open, and fastened back. This was more than I could stand. I hastily threw on my dressing-gown and went in search of Robert, the steward of my passage. I was very angry, I remember, and when I found him I dragged him roughly to the door of 105, and pushed him towards the open porthole.

"What the deuce do you mean, you scoundrel, by leaving that port open every night? Don't you know it is against the regulations? Don't you know that if the ship heeled and the water began to come in, ten men could not shut it? I will report you to the captain, you blackguard, for endangering the ship!"

I was exceedingly wroth. The man trembled and turned pale, and then began to shut the round glass plate with the heavy brass fittings.

"Why don't you answer me?" I said roughly.

"If you please, sir," faltered Robert, "there's nobody on board as can keep this 'ere port shut at night. You can try it yourself, sir. I ain't a-going to stop hany longer on board o' this vessel, sir; I ain't, indeed. But if I was you, sir, I'd just clear out and go and sleep with the surgeon, or something, I would. Look 'ere, sir, is that fastened what you may call securely, or not, sir? Try it, sir, see if it will move a hinch."

I tried the port, and found it perfectly tight.

"Well, sir," continued Robert triumphantly, "I wager my reputation as a A1 steward that in 'arf an hour it will be open again; fastened back, too, sir, that's the horful thing—fastened back!"

I examined the great screw and the looped nut that ran on it.

"If I find it open in the night, Robert, I will give you a sovereign. It is not possible. You may go."

"Soverin' did you say, sir? Very good, sir. Thank ye, sir. Good night, sir. Pleasant reepose, sir, and all manner of hinchantin' dreams, sir."

Robert scuttled away, delighted at being released. Of course, I thought he was trying to account for his negligence by a silly story, intended to frighten me, and I disbelieved him. The consequence was that he got his sovereign, and I spent a very peculiarly unpleasant night.

I went to bed, and five minutes after I had rolled myself up in my blankets the inexorable Robert extinguished the light that burned steadily behind the ground-glass pane near the door. I lay quite still in the dark trying to go to sleep, but I soon found that impossible. It had been some satisfaction to be angry with the steward, and the diversion had banished that unpleasant sensation I had at first experienced when I thought of the drowned man who had been my chum; but I was no longer sleepy, and I lay awake for some time, occasionally glancing at the porthole, which I could just see from where I lay, and which, in the darkness, looked like a faintly luminous soup-plate suspended in blackness. I believe I must have lain there for an hour, and, as I remember, I was just dozing into sleep when I was roused by a draught of cold air, and by distinctly feeling the spray of the sea blown upon my face. I started to my feet, and not having allowed in the dark for the motion of the ship, I was instantly thrown violently across the state-room upon the couch which was placed beneath the porthole. I recovered myself immediately, however, and climbed upon my knees. The porthole was again wide open and fastened back!

Now these things are facts. I was wide awake when I got up, and I should certainly have been waked by the fall had I still been dozing. Moreover, I bruised my elbows and knees badly, and the bruises were there on the following morning to testify to the fact, if I myself had doubted it. The porthole was wide open and fastened back—a thing so unaccountable that I remember very well feeling astonishment rather than fear when I discovered it. I at once closed the plate again, and screwed down the loop nut with all my strength. It was very dark in the state-room. I reflected that the port had certainly been opened within an hour after Robert had at first shut it in my presence, and I determined to watch it, and see whether it would open again. Those brass fittings are very heavy and by no means easy to move; I could not believe that the clump had been turned by the shaking of the screw. I stood peering out through the thick glass at the alternate white and grey streaks of the sea that foamed beneath the ship's side. I must have remained there a quarter of an hour. Suddenly, as I stood, I distinctly heard something moving behind me in one of the berths, and a moment afterwards, just as I turned instinctively to look—though I could, of course, see nothing in the darkness—I heard a very faint groan. I sprang across the state-room, and tore the curtains of the upper berth aside, thrusting in my hands to discover if there were any one there. There was someone.

I remember that the sensation as I put my hands forward was as though I were plunging them into the air of a damp cellar, and from behind the curtains came a gust of wind that smelled horribly of stagnant sea-water. I laid hold of something that had the shape of a man's arm, but was smooth, and wet, and icy cold. But suddenly, as I pulled, the creature sprang violently forward against me, a clammy, oozy mass, as it seemed to me, heavy and wet, yet endowed with a sort of supernatural strength. I reeled across the state-room, and in an instant the door opened and the thing rushed out. I had not had time to be frightened, and quickly recovering myself, I sprang through the door and gave chase at the top of my speed, but I was too late. Ten yards before me I could see—I am sure I saw it—a dark shadow moving in the dimly lighted passage, quickly as the shadow of a fast horse thrown before a dog-cart by the lamp on a dark night. But in a moment it had disappeared, and I found myself holding on to the polished rail that ran along the bulkhead where the passage turned towards the companion. My hair stood on end, and the cold perspiration rolled down my face. I am not ashamed of it in the least: I was very badly frightened.

Still I doubted my senses, and pulled myself together. It was absurd, I thought. The Welsh rarebit I had eaten had disagreed with me. I had been in a nightmare. I made my way back to my state-room, and entered it with an effort. The whole place smelled of stagnant sea-water, as it had when I had waked on the previous evening. It required my utmost strength to go in, and grope among my things for a box of wax lights. As I lighted a railway reading lantern which I always carry in case I want to read after the lamps are out, I perceived that the porthole was again open, and a sort of creeping horror began to take possession of me which I never felt before, nor wish to feel again. But I got a light and proceeded to examine the upper berth, expecting to find it drenched with sea-water.

But I was disappointed. The bed had been slept in, and the smell of the sea was strong; but the bedding was as dry as a bone. I fancied that Robert had not had the courage to make the bed after the accident of the previous night—it had all been a hideous dream. I drew the curtains back as far as I could and examined the place very carefully. It was perfectly dry. But the porthole was open again. With a sort of dull bewilderment of horror I closed it and screwed it down, and thrusting my heavy stick through the brass loop, wrenched it with all my might, till the thick metal began to bend under the pressure. Then I hooked my reading lantern into the red velvet at the head of the couch, and sat down to recover my senses if I could. I sat there all night, unable to think of rest—hardly able to think at all. But the porthole remained closed, and I did not believe it would now open again without the application of a considerable force.

The morning dawned at last, and I dressed myself slowly, thinking over all that had happened in the night. It was a beautiful day and I went on deck, glad to get out into the early, pure sunshine, and to smell the breeze from the blue water, so different from the noisome, stagnant odour of my state-room. Instinctively I turned aft, towards the surgeon's cabin. There he stood, with a pipe in his mouth, taking his morning airing precisely as on the preceding day.

"Good morning," said he quietly, but looking at me with evident curiosity.

"Doctor, you were quite right," said I. "There is something wrong about that place."

"I thought you would change your mind," he answered, rather triumphantly. "You have had a bad night, eh? Shall I make you a pick-me-up? I have a capital recipe."

"No, thanks," I cried. "But I would like to tell you what happened."

I then tried to explain as clearly as possible precisely what had occurred, not omitting to state that I had been scared as I had never been scared in my whole life before. I dwelt particularly on the phenomenon of the porthole, which was a fact to which I could testify, even if the rest had been an illusion. I had closed it twice in the night, and the second time I had actually bent the brass in wrenching it with my stick. I believe I insisted a good deal on this point.

"You seem to think I am likely to doubt the story," said the doctor, smiling at the detailed account of the state of the porthole. "I do not doubt it in the least. I renew my invitation to you. Bring your traps here, and take half my cabin."

"Come and take half of mine for one night," I said. "Help me to get at the bottom of this thing."

"You will get to the bottom of something else if you try," answered the doctor.

"What?" I asked.

"The bottom of the sea. I am going to leave this ship. It is not canny."

"Then you will not help me to find out——"

"Not I," said the doctor quickly. "It is my business to keep my wits about me—not to go fiddling about with ghosts and things."

"Do you really believe it is a ghost?" I enquired, rather contemptuously. But as I spoke I remembered very well the horrible sensation of the supernatural which had got possession of me during the night. The doctor turned sharply on me.

"Have you any reasonable explanation of these things to offer?" he asked. "No; you have not. Well, you say you will find an explanation. I say that you won't, sir, simply because there is not any."

"But, my dear sir," I retorted, "do you, a man of science, mean to tell me that such things cannot be explained?"

"I do," he answered stoutly. "And, if they could, I would not be concerned in the explanation."

I did not care to spend another night alone in the state-room, and yet I was obstinately determined to get at the root of the disturbances. I do not believe there are many men who would have slept there alone, after passing two such nights. But I made up my mind to try it, if I could not get any one to share a watch with me. The doctor was evidently not inclined for such an experiment. He said he was a surgeon, and that in case any accident occurred on board he must be always in readiness. He could not afford to have his nerves unsettled. Perhaps he was quite right, but I am inclined to think that his precaution was prompted by his inclination. On enquiry, he informed me that there was no one on board who would be likely to join me in my investigations, and after a little more conversation I left him. A little later I met the captain, and told him my story. I said that, if no one would spend the night with me, I would ask leave to have the light burning all night, and would try it alone.

"Look here," said he, "I will tell you what I will do. I will share your watch myself, and we will see what happens. It is my belief that we can find out between us. There may be some fellow skulking on board, who steals a passage by frightening the passengers. It is just possible that there may be something queer in the carpentering of that berth."

I suggested taking the ship's carpenter below and examining the place; but I was overjoyed at the captain's offer to spend the night with me. He accordingly sent for the workman and ordered him to do anything I required. We went below at once. I had all the bedding cleared out of the upper berth, and we examined the place thoroughly to see if there was a board loose anywhere, or a panel which could be opened or pushed aside. We tried the planks everywhere, tapped the flooring, unscrewed the fittings of the lower berth and took it to pieces—in short, there was not a square inch of the stateroom which was not searched and tested. Everything was in perfect order, and we put everything back in its place. As we were finishing our work, Robert came to the door and looked in.

"Well, sir—find anything, sir?" he asked, with a ghastly grin.

"You were right about the porthole, Robert," I said, and I gave him the promised sovereign. The carpenter did his work silently and skilfully, following my directions. When he had done he spoke.

"I'm a plain man, sir," he said. "But it's my belief you had better just turn out your things, and let me run half a dozen four-inch screws through the door of this cabin. There's no good never came o' this cabin yet, sir, and that's all about it. There's been four lives lost out o' here to my own remembrance, and that in four trips. Better give it up, sir—better give it up!"

"I will try it for one night more," I said.

"Better give it up, sir—better give it up! It's a precious bad job," repeated the workman, putting his tools in his bag and leaving the cabin.

But my spirits had risen considerably at the prospect of having the captain's company, and I made up my mind not to be prevented from going to the end of the strange business. I abstained from Welsh rarebits and grog that evening, and did not even join in the customary game of whist. I wanted to be quite sure of my nerves, and my vanity made me anxious to make a good figure in the captain's eyes.

The captain was one of those splendidly tough and cheerful specimens of seafaring humanity whose combined courage, hardihood, and calmness in difficulty leads them naturally into high positions of trust. He was not the man to be led away by an idle tale, and the mere fact that he was willing to join me in the investigation was proof that he thought there was something seriously wrong, which could not be accounted for on ordinary theories, nor laughed down as a common superstition. To some extent, too, his reputation was at stake, as well as the reputation of the ship. It is no light thing to lose passengers overboard, and he knew it.

About ten o'clock that evening, as I was smoking a last cigar, he came up to me, and drew me aside from the beat of the other passengers who were patrolling the deck in the warm darkness.

"This is a serious matter, Mr. Brisbane," he said. "We must make up our minds either way—-to be disappointed or to have a pretty rough time of it. You see I cannot afford to laugh at the affair, and I will ask you to sign your name to a statement of whatever occurs. If nothing happens to-night we will try it again to-morrow and next day. Are you ready?" So we went below, and entered the state-room. As we went in I could see Robert the steward, who stood a little further down the passage, watching us, with his usual grin, as though certain that something dreadful was about to happen. The captain closed the door behind us and bolted it.

"Supposing we put your portmanteau before the door," he suggested. "One of us can sit on it. Nothing can get out then. Is the port screwed down?"

I found it as I had left it in the morning. Indeed, without using a lever, as I had done, no one could have opened it. I drew back the curtains of the upper berth so that I could see well into it. By the captain's advice I lighted my reading lantern, and placed it so that it shone upon the white sheets above. He insisted upon sitting on the portmanteau, declaring that he wished to be able to swear that he had sat before the door.

Then he requested me to search the state-room thoroughly, an operation very soon accomplished, as it consisted merely in looking beneath the lower berth and under the couch below the porthole. The spaces were quite empty.

"It is impossible for any human being to get in," I said, "or for any human being to open the port."

"Very good," said the captain calmly. "If we see anything now, it must be either imagination or something supernatural."

I sat down on the edge of the lower berth.

"The first time it happened," said the captain, crossing his legs and leaning back against the door, "was in March. The passenger who slept here, in the upper berth, turned out to have been a lunatic—at all events, he was known to have been a little touched, and he had taken his passage without the knowledge of his friends. He rushed out in the middle of the night and threw himself overboard, before the officer who had the watch could stop him. We stopped and lowered a boat; it was a quiet night, just before that heavy weather came on; but we could not find him. Of course, his suicide was afterwards accounted for on the ground of his insanity."

"I suppose that often happens?" I remarked, rather absently.

"Not often—no," said the captain; "never before in my experience, though I have heard of it happening on board of other ships. Well, as I was saying, that occurred in March. On the very next trip——What are you looking at?" he asked, stopping suddenly in his narration.

I believe I gave no answer. My eyes were riveted upon the porthole. It seemed to me that the brass loop-nut was beginning to turn very slowly upon the screw—so slowly, however, that I was not sure it moved at all. I watched it intently, fixing its position in my mind, and trying to ascertain whether it changed. Seeing where I was looking, the captain looked, too.

"It moves!" he exclaimed, in a tone of conviction. "No, it does not," he added, after a minute.

"If it were the jarring of the screw," said I, "it would have opened during the day; but I found it this evening jammed tight as I left it this morning."

I rose and tried the nut. It was certainly loosened, for by an effort I could move it with my hands.

"The queer thing," said the captain, "is that the second man who was lost is supposed to have got through that very port. We had a terrible time over it. It was in the middle of the night, and the weather was very heavy; there was an alarm that one of the ports was open and the sea running in. I came below and found everything flooded, the water pouring in every time she rolled, and the whole port swinging from the top bolts—not the porthole in the middle. Well, we managed to shut it, but the water did some damage. Ever since that the place smells of sea-water from time to time. We supposed the passenger had thrown himself out, though the Lord only knows how he did it. The steward kept telling me that he cannot keep anything shut here. Upon my word—I can smell it now, cannot you?" he enquired, sniffing the air suspiciously.

"Yes—distinctly," I said, and I shuddered as that same odour of stagnant sea-water grew stronger in the cabin. "Now, to smell like this, the place must be damp," I continued, "and yet when I examined it with the carpenter this morning everything was perfectly dry. It is most extraordinary—hallo!"

My reading lantern, which had been placed in the upper berth, was suddenly extinguished. There was still a good deal of light from the pane of ground glass near the door, behind which loomed the regulation lamp. The ship rolled heavily, and the curtain of the upper berth swung far out into the state-room and back again. I rose quickly from my seat on the edge of the bed, and the captain at the same moment started to his feet with a loud cry of surprise. I had turned with the intention of taking down the lantern to examine it, when I heard his exclamation, and immediately afterwards his call for help. I sprang towards him. He was wrestling with all his might with the brass loop of the port. It seemed to turn against his hands in spite of all his efforts. I caught up my cane, a heavy oak stick I always used to carry, and thrust it through the ring and bore on it with all my strength. But the strong wood snapped suddenly and I fell upon the couch. When I rose again the port was wide open, and the captain was standing with his back against the door, pale to the lips.

"There is something in that berth!" he cried, in a strange voice, his eyes almost starting from his head. "Hold the door, while I look—it shall not escape us, whatever it is!"

But instead of taking his place, I sprang upon the lower bed, and seized something which lay in the upper berth.

It was something ghostly, horrible beyond words, and it moved in my grip. It was like the body of a man long drowned, and yet it moved, and had the strength of ten men living; but I gripped it with all my might—the slippery, oozy, horrible thing—the dead white eyes seemed to stare at me out of the dusk; the putrid odour of rank sea-water was about it, and its shiny hair hung in foul wet curls over its dead face. I wrestled with the dead thing; it thrust itself upon me and forced me back and nearly broke my arms; it wound its corpse's arms about my neck, the living death, and overpowered me, so that I, at last, cried aloud and fell, and left my hold.

As I fell the thing sprang across me, and seemed to throw itself upon the captain. When I last saw him on his feet his face was white and his lips set. It seemed to me that he struck a violent blow at the dead being, and then he, too, fell forward upon his face, with an inarticulate cry of horror.

The thing paused an instant, seeming to hover over his prostrate body, and I could have screamed again for very fright, but I had no voice left. The thing vanished suddenly, and it seemed to my disturbed senses that it made its exit through the open port, though how that was possible, considering the smallness of the aperture, is more than any one can tell. I lay a long time upon the floor, and the captain lay beside me. At last I partially recovered my senses and moved, and instantly I knew that my arm was broken—the small bone of the left forearm near the wrist.

I got upon my feet somehow, and with my remaining hand I tried to raise the captain. He groaned and moved, and at last came to himself. He was not hurt, but he seemed badly stunned.

Well, do you want to hear any more? There is nothing more. That is the end of my story. The carpenter carried out his scheme of running half a dozen four-inch screws through the door of 105; and if ever you take a passage in the Kamtschatka, you may ask for a berth in that state-room. You will be told that it is engaged—yes—it is engaged by that dead thing.

I finished the trip in the surgeon's cabin. He doctored my broken arm, and advised me not to "fiddle about with ghosts and things" any more. The captain was very silent, and never sailed again in that ship, though it is still running. And I will not sail in her either. It was a very disagreeable experience, and I was very badly frightened, which is a thing I do not like. That is all. That is how I saw a ghost—if it was a ghost. It was dead, anyhow.

#horror #gilded age horror #Francis Marion Crawford

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