#also i never taught myself how to edit properly

[thetreefairy]

Is it alright if I request Yandere father Gojo satoru where his daughters ability is to control time since Gojo has absolute control over space at an atomic level and she also has infinity but he never taught her how to use it but durining the shibuya arc she either reverses or stopped time to save a couple of people a d stop certain events from happpening (if this is too much you do t have to do the whole shibuya arc part )

Sorry that this is long anyways have a nice night/day ( `ε´ )

Since I have not watched season 2 yet, I am not doing the shibuya arc part. Since you also specified fem pronouns, the reader will be fem.

edit: hehehe, I forgot to say: have a nice day as well and I loved this request :D

warnings: yandere themes, isolation mentioned (I do not condone this and if you can seek help please do), Gojo is a piece of shit and two-faced, Reader is done with life, swearing because author is in pain and sick and when the author is sick they swear a lot, vague ending

I don't understand the ability completely, but I made it so that if you didn't master it properly you can get hurt when you use the ability (which might actually be apart of it, but my memory is shit)

Ko-fi

Consequences and actions

Goji Satoru was the first sorcerer to be born with limitless and six eyes in 400 years, so truly he was surprised when he saw that his daughter had them too. It was weaker than his, yes.

But he didn't know what to do. He didn't want his daughter to master both because then she wouldn't need him anymore.

"Dad can you teach me use both?" Reader had once asked, and his answer was: "There is no reason for you to learn."

It frustrated Reader to no end, she had the abilities but she wasn't allowed to develop and become a full-pledged sorcerer.

Satoru could understand Reader's frustration to an extent, but after a while of you complaining and begging to start training, he started to get annoyed.

"Reader, if you don't stop complaining right now, you will lose your communication privileges." Satoru hissed. Reader scoffed and muttered; "You should just call it isolation."

"Watch your mouth." Satoru hissed. "That's no way to speak to your father."

Reader rolled her eyes. "I just don't get why." Satoru sighed and spoke softl; "It's too dangerous, you would get on the curses radar and right now I got the world believing that you are just a child with no special powers, with no grade."

"When you are gone." Reader started. "How will I be able to protect myself if you aren't here?"

"That's not for you to worry about, now stop complaining and whining about it."

Unfortunately for Satoru his students like Reader more than him, so they helped her with learning how to control their abilities. Well to the best of their extent.

So when Reader had been good in Satoru's opinion she could tag along on a school mission. "Remember, if there is a fight run don't fight. I'll find you with your tracker."

"Wait what tracker-"

"Excuse me I misspoke. Habits, I meant habits." Satoru lied quickly with a grin and kissed Reader' forehead, sounding rather soft. "Now can you promise me you'll stay out of the way before we meet with the class?"

Reader nodded and hugged Satoru. "Thank you dad for taking me with you."

"No problem, kid." Satoru chuckled.

Unfortunately for Reader she couldn't keep that promise. Out of instinct she protected Satoru and Yuji for a curse that suddenly appeared. What was worse is that she used her abilities.

But using your abilities out of instinct can hurt you quite a lot, Reader started to bleed out of her eyes..

"D-dad." Reader muttered out. "I am sorry, I didn't mean to, I'm sorry."

Satoru brushed away Reader's blood stained tears. "It's okay, you did it out of instinct." This caused Reader to become confused. "Y-you aren't mad?"

"Baby, you are injured you think I will be mad right now?" Satoru asked Megumi to grab his eye cream and used it on you. "Class dismissed."

Satoru took Reader home, unexpectedly calm. Causing Reader to feel like a storm was coming. Satoru was making her a drink when he asked: "You trained your abilities, didn't you?"

Reader tensed up and nodded slowly. It was better to be truthful, right now. "... I suppose I cannot be that angry as it might have saved your life." Satoru muttered with a frown. "Drink this."

A glass of soda was put infront of her. Reader drank it, she was quite de-hydrated. "Thank you, papa."

"Why did you train without my permission?" Satoru asked. "I want to be able to protect myself." She admitted. "So that you can trust me with going out more."

Satoru chuckled as her eyes became dazy. "Perhaps you should figure out when your drink is spiked then."

Reader stood up and stepped back in shock.

"Awh, did you really think you wouldn't be punished?" He grinned. "How cute my dear daughter."

She tried to back away knowing full well what will happen.

"Maybe I should break your legs." Satoru mumbled doing a fake thoughtful look. "I got it!"

"Dad, please."

"I will make sure that you fully understand my love!" Reader knew what this meant, being locked up, and much more. "Maybe I should get you another parent to help with that as well..."

Oh, that was new.

"But I don't want to share you at all...."

[agathah]

Hi! I was just wondering if you'd share some details about your art and artistic process! I love your work, and I was curious about what media/medium you use, how long each piece takes, and other such details!

Much love! xoxo

Heyy, wow I never thought someone would ask me this question! I'm really happy you're curious about it. I have been originally a traditional artist for my entire life until the pandemic time, when I started to be overly self critical about my artworks. Then, I got fascinated by digital art and I needed to try it. I got a simple tablet, those ones that you connect it and see the screen on the computer. For the last three years, I've self taught myself into digital art. I firstly used Photoshop, but it was very limiting since I didn't know how to properly use it for art process, I only knew how to edit pictures. So, a friend of mine told me about a free app called Krita, and it's truly amazing, it has everything a premium program has and more. Still, Photoshop is a very complete program and I wish to learn how to use it in an efficient way, just like plenty of artists do. My art process usually comes from hyperfixation, I get this idea and can't get it out of my mind, so I need to draw it. Because of that, I can spend 3-4 hours, maybe more, drawing without a break, because time goes too fast when I'm focused. But I try to take breaks when I remember haha I've seen my moots and people around me say that I am a fast artist, but that's because I draw intensively as I said. Longer drawings can take more than 4 hours, but I usually take breaks when I feel like the drawing needs to be done in parts, or if I'm too insecure to finish. Recently I've been gathering the courage to draw on the paper again, so you guys can see this side of my art too! A side that I used to be most proud of. And also, it's gonna be a challenge for me, and I want to face that fear. I think that's it, in a very summarized way! Haha thank you for your message 🖤

[xiangqiankua]

I finally really truly registered to take the TOCFL (I had signed up for a free pilot test last year but when I went to make the deposit to confirm my slot, everything for Band B & C were already full, alas). I stopped taking formal classes a year ago, also stopped private tutoring, and had been lazily coasting along reading manga, scrolling Taiwanese social media, and occasionally listening to a podcast. Then I decided to apply for grad school.

Scared that having to read anything scholarly and of length in Chinese on a regular basis would make my brain combust, I applied to a program that apparently has enough English classes to graduate. Upon further investigation, many of the interesting ones are in Chinese. Strangely, to take classes in Chinese the department only requires a proficiency certificate equivalent to A2 level. I attached a transcript from my last language center class (around C1), but if I get accepted I figure I ought to have a TOCFL certificate, and if I don't, I'll definitely need one to apply for programs taught entirely in Chinese later.

I registered for Band B because I think I still read too slowly for Band C, plus they only play the listening passages once and I find listening to text being read in a newscaster style (vs conversational tone) extremely challenging. (I asked a teacher once what to do about this and she said listen to more Chinese news, because even the Taiwanese news tends to have a more informal tone.) The exam is in about a month, so I need a plan of action. I had already started reviewing the word list for TOCFL 4, which is 5000 words but sometimes just the same character 4 times in a row, each with a different part of speech:

It's been kind of torturous because it's in alphabetical order, on the other hand it's good because it gives me pause as to whether I would really be able to make the correct choice between 規定、規矩、規律 and 規則 on a fill-in-the-blank question. So far all the words are familiar except some unexpected ones on feudalism and sending telegrams, but familiar and intimate are two different things so if I don't know the precise definition immediately I've been looking it up, along with examples sentences. My current goal is to finish going through the word list, try all the previous exams available on the TOCFL site to practice timing myself, and also find some more ideal listening content (for now I could go back to the audio files for 當代中文5 that I never got through properly). I also want to look up the most commonly used 成語 because they aren't included on the word list but surely they'll appear on the exam. Ideally I should also try to do more relevant reading (news articles, perhaps), but we'll see how far I actually get with that. I think I also need to do this studying at the beginning of the day, being a great procrastinator.

My dream scenario is that Band B turns out to be a breeze and makes me confident enough to take Band C! (Edit- I know the reading/listening test is electronic and apparently adjusts itself to your level. Maybe whatever level one selects at registration is simply the one it starts with?) Realistically though, I read one anecdote online from a guy complaining that he passed HSK 6 and then only squeaked in at TOCFL 3. Hence my apprehension and need for a study plan for test taking. Anyone else taken TOCFL lately?

[wizisbored]

in the bj/nimona au, where did Lydia learn latin, did her mom teach her some, or did she learn some in a book she read? Or a combination of those two and school, because I just remembered you mentioned it came from school, and forgot some school did have a class for that.

i think im going to say either she has it as an actual class and chalk it up to her going to private school (i feel like thats a private school thing? idk the only time ive heard of it being an actual class is in a documentary about eaton) or it was extracurricular, which is how i learnt it. if im remembering right my secondary school only offered it to ''''gifted'''' students, and had an outside teacher who came in for like an hour or so after school on mondays to teach it. i liked that guy, he was very soft spoken, little brown mouse with glasses who lives in a library vibes on that man. i actually got the option to take a gcse exam on it and i remember doing it twice but i have no idea if that means i have two seperate qualifications or one was a mock and i just dont remember that or what. i got like an A in it somehow even though i never really learnt the grammar rules properly just translated on vibes and some vocab memorisation alone and since you never really have to translate the other way because its a dead language it was kinda easy to bullshit to a point. but that means im now having to learn it from the ground up again. tbh using it in the crossover is partially just a way to keep myself interested enough to relearn it because its something i keep meaning to do.

ANYWAY this post is supposed to be about bj/nimona au not my secondary school latin experience. the idea that her mum taught her some is pretty interesting actually that is something to consider but im pretty set on the bulk of it coming from school. and her school uses the cambridge latin course 4th edition because how could i deny her such a banger. as i said though its not the exact same latin the kingdom uses (although any 'kingdom latin' i write will probably just be regular latin) and shes not really learnt to speak it or understand it being spoken because it was thought to be dead so its more a case she has a pretty good starting point for nimona to teach her from than her knowing the language from the start. but as well as nimona having the best english out of her ambrosius and ballister, shes also old enough that she was around when classical latin (as i think its called?) was being spoken in the kingdom so nimona is in a very good position to teach her. unfortuately this actually makes latin class at school harder in a way, because shes having to constantly make sure shes using the right dialect. her teacher (very much inspired by mine) is very excited about the existance of kingdom latin and is trying to learn some themself, so mix-ups just lead to conversations about the neuances of the two dialects more often than not.

i have already run into a problem that i could chalk up to the dialect difference, which is interesting. i figured that since nimona uses 'boss' almost like a nickname she probably wouldnt translate it, so i went looking for what it would be in latin. from what i can tell the best translation is 'dominus' (though if im understanding my cases right shed say 'domine'), which would make lydia do a double take if she heard it because its first translation given in the cambridge latin course is 'master'. not sure if i want to use dominus and point out the difference there or just use 'dux' which to my understanding is a slightly weaker translation, but either way neither is perfect. i do want to have vocabulary differences like that but i might just use 'dux' and leave the vocab stuff to something less important and with lighter implications. plus, dux keeps the same sylables as boss which i like. i think i just talked myself into using dux.

[saturdaynightghostclub]

Toady FAQ!

Hey y’all! I get a lot of the same questions (both on Tiktok and here in the bog), so I thought I’d answer a bunch of em at once! As always, if you have questions not listed here, I’m happy to chat :)

Are you going to upload/continue the 90s series? (Alternatively: Upload the 90s series. You should upload it to Tumblr. Continue the 90s series.)

With all the love in the world, no. At least not for the moment—ask me again in 6 months!

Writing that series ended up being super stressful, and I’m not super eager to get back in there at the moment. I’m worried I’d continue to carry that stress and that I’d grow to resent the story, which is not at all what I want! I also don’t want to be 8 chapters into a new piece of writing and still have people asking about the 90s series, which I hope is understandable.

By all means, save the posts from Tiktok so you can revisit them. Just please don’t post them anywhere :)

Do you have Spotify? Can you make a playlist of all the songs you used in your Tiktoks?

I’ve thought about this question a lot, and basically: you tell me.

I have a Spotify account, but haven’t shared it for privacy reasons. However, if enough people wanted it, I could be persuaded to change my username and share my playlists :)

I do think it’s fun to have music to go along with a story, and it’s actually the one thing I miss about Tiktok. So the other option would be to maybe post chapters as audio posts with the text underneath, if I can figure out how to do that?

Basically: you tell me what you think, and I’ll do it!

Will your next story feature XYZ?

It depends on your request (and, honestly, the tone in which you ask it). I’m more than happy to consider requests and suggestions, but I have two stipulations:

1. There are certain perspectives and lived experiences from which I simply cannot write accurately; if you’re asking me to write about the experiences of a marginalized group, consider that I might not be the person to portray them. On top of being in a privileged position myself, I’m also just not an experienced enough writer to properly research and depict experiences so inherently different from my own. I can definitely try my best to recommend other writers, but know that, in all things, my knowledge is limited to my own exposure and experience.

2. I cannot possibly make everyone happy. If I took every request I received, I’d end up with a disaster of a story that I wouldn’t even feel like I’d written. I need to retain some creative freedom in order for this to feel worth doing, so while I welcome suggestions please don’t be offended if I don’t take every one I see!

Any advice for people who want to major in English? What are you doing with your degree?

Yes!

Find your niche. Mine was American lit, specifically the weird stuff. The weirder the better—American Gothic, true crime journalism, 19th-century Spiritualism—you name it, I’ve written about it. If you can find a subgenre of literature that you LOVE, nothing you read or write will feel like work.

Don’t edit, rewrite! Print your draft and go over it in red pen, then re-type it with your corrections. I swear by this!

Don’t limit yourself, ever! Take classes on fantasy, sci-fi, children’s lit, climate crisis fiction, religious texts, whatever you can find. You will be better for it!

Everyone is wrong. There’s a TON you can do with an English degree. I worked in finance straight out of college—I knew nothing about business, but my degree taught me to communicate effectively and synthesize information from different sources. You have valuable skills, you just need to learn to market them! Now I’m working in my field and it’s great, but it was never the only option.

DO A STORY ABOUT X IN Y TIME PERIOD SET IN THIS SPECIFIC TOWN!

Beloved, stop yelling at me.

Can I use this as a writing prompt/write my own story/create fanart using these characters?

YES! Knock yourself out, I only ask that you tag me in the final product so I can see your lovely work and hype you up :)

Do you have book/movie/show recs that are similar to your work?

That depends! Send me a specific request (ie: MMCs with similar vibes to Jasper Stevens) and I’ll try my best to recommend you something. If I can’t think of anything, we’ll crowdsource!

[yakultii]

it's actually refreshing to see you enjoy the process so much, even though writing and other forms of art can be very taxing, at times. while i'm also of the belief that you should first express your true self, refining that work is respecting the original sentiments but making it more clear for others to understand the work.

while not every work can be a masterpiece, there is a middle ground between that and the first draft; since your poetry already has that aspect of genuineness, i can't help but look forward to those you publish with so much effort and attention being put into them.

your efforts will definitely be rewarded, and you're already improving a lot within a short space of time.

good luck!!

DO I LOOK LIKE IM ENJOYING IT???? HAHAHA

no but I kinda do enjoy pain, always have to an extent

nah but in all seriousness I do enjoy these things (mostly) - cause while I’d never rlly edited poetry before I’ve written ten million essays in my life (not that I ever edit them lol) but I also have taught English and enjoy correcting ppls work.. its just while it is not evident in my words here or any of my posts on my blog, when I do something PROPER PROPERLY im like an insane level of perfectionist to the point it can’t be satisfied and it drives me proper insane like u don’t understand I’ve literally driven myself to death multiple times before bc of academic perfectionism cos I stop at notjing not even basic needs until im dragged to hospital - so yeah im just tryna keep it light and fun and not too much fuss these days !!! but there’s always gonna be a part of me that’s still slightly insane!

I APPRECIATE UR STANCE ON THE MIDDLE GROUND more than you know. That will actually stick with me <3333 and THANK U SO MUCH for noticing im improving UGH I wanna show y’all how I’ve improved on these few poems that have second drafts y’all wont believe it was me !!!! not to say they are amazing but they are like nothing I’ve bothered to write before (still not sure if they’re better or worse but they’re different that’s for sure!)

THANK U THANK U THANKU AGAIN for this message <3333 I love anons heheheh I do sometimes wonder who they are though but it could genuinely be any of u bc ur all so incredibly sweet !!!! Appreciate u all sm.

Now have to focus on uni assignments for next few days before getting back to more editing of poems ugh. and probably sleep at some point (it’s literally 3.12am rn rip)

[pointofreturn]

professor's pet, pt. 1

I was always a model student. Always the teacher’s pet.

Intelligence was my earliest form of worthiness. People told me over and over how smart and well-spoken I was. In second grade, I was placed in a third-grade reading class. Gifted for fourth grade. I read books instead of playing with the other kids and spent middle school lunches with my nose between Edgar Allan Poe poems or Faulkner short stories. I aced every advanced English class, received praise for even the shittiest papers, and received perfect scores on state writing tests. I completed both my bachelor’s and master’s degrees in English with a focus on American Literature. I was accepted and offered full funding to two prestigious Ph.D. programs at famous southern schools. And I would have finished my doctorate if not for this dreaded tale I’m about to tell you.

Naturally, as a reader, I am also a writer. Mother saved all of the stories I wrote through grade school. I won an award in fourth grade for a story about a purple hairbrush. I wrote and illustrated a children’s book about squirrels with family conflict. All of the creative stories have one thing in common—they are infused with bits and pieces of my life.

I’ve always been one to speak from experience.

Writing was always something I enjoyed and I was objectively good at it, but my internal doubt ruined my ability to properly see my potential.

*

His name surrounds me months before I ever see him. He’s one of the more popular professors, and I’d come to learn that was for good reason. I started taking classes at Another University because I was determined to finally finish my bachelor’s. I started talking to people about the research I was interested in, what I liked to read and write.

“You have to meet him,” they say.

“You two will really get along. You’re so similar!”

“Have you talked to ______? He might be interested in picking your brain.”

I’m accepted to the honors program where I’m tasked with writing my first thesis. I settle on a comparative study on F. Scott and Zelda Fitzgerald’s tandem novels, This Side of Paradise and Save Me the Waltz, arguing that Scott’s patriarchal plagiarism and creative control directly contributed to Zelda’s mental and physical disabilities. It wasn’t profound, but Zelda’s novel is my favorite book ever, so I had to write about it. All my professors and peers tell me I should get his input on my work.

How I sometimes wish we hadn’t been pushed to cross paths.

How I sometimes wish I’d never met him.

*

After I decided to save myself, I finished inpatient treatment and figured the best way forward was to go back to college. I’d gathered a handful of credits from the two schools I’d been to previously and even though my heart was originally called by a music or art major, my head determined that I should be practical. English, I thought, was a path that could lead me to an attainable career in teaching or editing but would still allow me to engage with my creativity.

And given that it was my best subject, it made sense.

Several of my English professors had a profound impact on my life. My first creative writing teacher was at the local community college I said I’d never go to but have my associate’s degree from. He was in his early forties and kind of looked like Jason Bateman if you squinted the right way. His class was nonfiction-focused, so we spent a lot of time writing about ourselves. Easy enough. During our final meeting, he told me I should keep writing about my life. I’d had other people tell me to write a book, but he was the first to suggest writing a memoir, the first to suggest that my chaotic life was worth talking about.

I had an English professor in Tampa who assigned the book that taught me the truth about chattel slavery and the Native American genocide. He looked like a mix of Albert Einstein and Eugene Levy, always smelled like stale cigarettes and coffee, and was a notoriously hard grader. He was the first to give me a C on a paper, but he let me revise it and pushed me to be a better academic writer. Later, he awarded me a coveted A- on a paper about southern high schools teaching intentional misinformation on the Civil War and slavery. His only criticism was that I was too emotional, that I brought too much of myself into the subject.

After another health incident, I had to move back home, once again, but I was impatient to finally finish my bachelor’s degree. It had been nearly five years since I graduated high school and I was starting to feel behind in more ways than one. I transferred to Another University.

I grew up going to classes with Mother at AU. Another school I swore I would never go to and now have two degrees from. I distinctly remember a class she brought me to when I was four or five years old. We did a taste test—bitter, salty, sweet, sour. Each flavor was on a toothpick and we had to place the wood on a different section of our tongue to see where we got the strongest reaction. I have no idea what it was supposed to prove. But I loved the classroom, I loved watching the professor, I loved the feeling of belonging with the other students.

Another University birthed and destroyed my academic life.

*

I sit in an office with Josephine, my honors seminar professor. She is youthful and beautiful, blonde with a full, bright smile and spring-water eyes. Josephine will come to be one of my favorites over the years, one who sticks with me through my master’s thesis.

We’re waiting for her to introduce me to him.

“I think your project has a lot of potential,” she affirms. “I’m really excited to hear what he has to say. You have aligned research interests and I’m sure he’ll have some source recommendations for you to take this further.”

I smile and nod. I’m always nervous about meeting new people, but he responded politely enough to my email asking for a meeting. I was just getting in my head.

Josephine shuffles some papers around on her desk to break up the awkwardness. A figure passes outside her door.

“Oh! Dr. ______!”

I turn around to catch a glimpse of feathery blonde hair and the tail of a tweed coat. His body backtracks a few steps and stands in the doorway.

The world goes quiet.

Who are you? Did I know you from somewhere before?

I now completely understand his popularity. His looks alone are enough to tempt any of the academically needy English girls. Who wouldn’t want to sit alone in his office, listening intently to anything and everything he has to say about what you’ve written, all while secretly hoping for a hint that he’s interested in more than just your paper. His charming personality and hospitable mannerisms were just the cherry on top of a seemingly perfect package.

Josephine speaks again, beaming between the two of us stopped in time. “This is Mollie Steven, the undergraduate honors student you’re meeting with this afternoon.”

He opens his mouth and honey whiskey comes out.

“Mollie.”

He says my name and I don’t know if I’ll hear anything in the world ever again.

He leads me to his office and we sit down to have a conversation about my thesis. I can’t remember a single detail of the conversation but I will always remember the way he looked at me. I’ll always remember the way he shifted uncomfortably in his desk chair, obviously nervous. Despite the gossip I hear about his effortless confidence and charm, able to flirt with a light pole and all that, he stutters over his words and lets me lead the conversation. I think he asks a few questions about my personal life—where I’m from and went to school, normal things like that.

I knew immediately that there was a mutual attraction between us. And what was worse, some kind of instant, magnetic connection. Sticking your finger in a light socket and all that. I was still dating Seb, but this was the first man I’d felt something for in years. He felt something for me too, however fleeting or insignificant.

Our “story” spans over six years. It doesn’t have a happy ending, but why would I have ever expected it to?

[oliviap]

Reflection

Overall this course as taught me a lot of skills in all three programs. Coming into this course we were asked to rank our skill level in each app. My original rankings were:

Illustrator: 7

Photoshop: 3

InDesign: 0

If I was asked to reevaluate my skills now I would say my Illustrator has changed from a 7 to a 9.5, Photoshop has changed from a 3 to a 6 and InDesign from a 0 to a 7.

Even at the start of this course, I was already very comfortable with Illustrator as it was the main program I used for design in high school. I was familiar with most of the tools we learnt so that learning was really just developing and mastering them. At the start of the course I bezier lines were frustrating and while I could draw reasonably well with them, I avoided it at all costs. I now really enjoy using the pen tool and bezier lines. I used it in so many of the tasks through out the course and I found every time I got faster and better. One thing I wish I knew in high school was the short cuts for the selection tool (v) and direction selection tool (A). This would have saved me so much time!

I knew very little on Photoshop when we started this course. I had done some drawing and image manipulation in digital technology at high school but that was the extent of my skill. Even now I don't feel I know a huge amount of what Photoshop offers but I'm very comfortable with what I learned in this course. I have used the adjustment tools were learnt outside of class numerous times as it was so simple to understand. I also found selecting and mask images was really fun and easy to pick up. I missed week 5 originally so I had to catch up later so I didn't have the chance to do it before week 6. It was explained to me in class and I found I grasped it pretty easily. I admittedly did forgot some of the stuff I learnt but I was able to refer back to tumblr and it was easy to remember after a quick recap.

Before this course, I had never heard of or used InDesign before. We used InDesign in our graphic design class as well while learning it so this made it way easier to learn as I was using it for around 9 hours a week in classes. I found that InDesign was really easy to use and especially helpful for text layout. The columns tool was really helpful in creating even, balanced layouts in my graphic design class. This also taught me a lot about general text, like a lot of the terminology (e.g. kerning, tracking, leading).

I think the program I found hardest to work with was Photoshop. While I enjoyed fixing the images, I've never had a very good eye for photography so it took me a while to be happy with my results. It was also frustrating how a lot of the commands didn't overlap with Illustrator. In Illustrator you hold down shift to restrict when resizing where as in Photoshop it morphs and manipulates it. This pissed me off quite a lot. But with time this became more natural and I just learnt it and did it without thinking.

If I didn't understand something in class I was able to go back and find the instructions on Moodle or Teams. This really helped me keep up to date and properly process what I was doing. I also used videos on Youtube to help me if I couldn't figure something out. Often they were on older versions of the programs but they were still mostly the same.

I think my favourite task was the two illustrations we had to make in Illustrator. For my first one I decided to make a bike. I used the pen tool as well as pathfinder to do this. Once I was done, I decided I wanted to add to it as I didn't really find it challenging. I decided to add two parrots to the bike because why not? To challenge myself, I didn't trace them from the reference I just tried my best to make the right shapes and then used the direct selection tool later to edit it after. I really loved my second illustration, I got quite carried away and just kept adding and adding to it. I decided to try recreate my original drawing as a challenge and I wanted to see what I could produce when using Illustrator.

Overall I was pleased with my final booklet project. To be honest I don't think it was the best display of my Illustrator and InDesign skills. I decided to procrastinate this booklet a lot as we had a lot of other projects due at the time. I started the booklet on Wednesday night which in reflection was stupid. I really should have chipped away at it over the days prior so I wouldn't have had to do so much work on Thursday night. But for the time period I did it in I'm pleased. I do like the actual book. I really enjoyed researching all about the different meanings behind common nursery rhymes. I decided to make my book a book for adults rather than children. I kept the cartoonish style of nursery rhyme books but added some much more disturbing imagery.

If I was to repeat this I would have liked to make some more vector images so showcase some more skills but I'm pretty happy. I definitely shouldn't have put it off. I really liked my drawing for 'Ring Around a Rosie'. I'll probably end up adding more detail to it once this course is finished.

[milkandsnails]

victor after a mild inconvenience

---

EDIT (mini essay incoming): Looking back, this was likely seen as me poking fun at Victor's character himself for his obvious health problems, which wasn't my intention, and now ashames me deeply. If you knew me back when I posted about the novel, you'd likely recall how I objected greatly to opinions that reduced Victor to a mere monster or the only reprehensible character. I didn't enjoy the sense of schadenfreude that some people appeared to have regarding his severe mental and physical struggles. It was in part because, as a troubled 16-17 year old with their own mental and physical issues, I saw parts of my own pain and loneliness in his isolation and fixation on work over all else.

I will explain my flawed reasoning when making this post. I created it focused on the idea of his fainting and sickness as a general literary device Shelley continously used— à la the archaic trope of characters swooning excessively— to show a heightened response to situations of horror. The idea I was getting at is referenced here:

Unlike a straight faint, the literary swoon is never just a medical matter – it’s often the product of overwhelming feeling or the return of something repressed. Swooning has long been used by writers to dramatise moments of crisis, ecstasy and confusion, and the failure of language to express these extremes.

I was (poorly) making light of this as a frequent literary trope, not the actual character himself. A good deal of this is down to the fact we were simply taught this was the way to interpret his illness in our English Lit class at the time— as a device actively chosen by the author to heighten the Gothic themes of horror, in a way detatching these symptoms from the true constitution of the person who suffered them. His sickness, in this light, therfore was more equated to a literary method, rather than being rightfully rooted back into his actual character.

But teaching can still have questionable ideas or limited outlooks, so I should have reflected properly on what we were taught and come to my own conclusion.

This interpretation absolutely doesn't work when considering the post and my awful wording, and I deeply apologise. Even if this is a Gothic device Shelley used at points, and that some of Victor's illness could be attributed to natural reactions to hardship (such as at the beginning when meeting Walton), Victor still also shows signs of chronic health issues under a modern and understanding lens, more than any other character, so my original idea becomes invalid regardless.

I'm well aware of the way comments on Victor's health swerve into ableism, having been upset myself by terrible takes regarding his need for care during times of sickness— and the exaggerated, sarcastic tone used for this caption can easily be viewed that same way. Even if I had just broadened my joke to involve literary characters in general, who are otherwise able-bodied and healthy, rather than singling out Victor, it would have been clearer what my aim was. But nowadays, I would simply never make this sort of comment anyway.

So again, I'm sincerely sorry. This was almost 2 years ago; and 17-year-old me, despite not being a great deal younger, was a lot less mature and mindful at times! As someone who struggled mentally and had already developed my own chronic condition at that age, it was even more negligent of me to spread further bad-taste content about Victor's implied illness, unintentional as this interpretation was. I hope anyone who by chance sees this can accept my apology.

[lov3nerdstuff]

Hi Kay!

I just wanted to take a moment and say how deeply moving (and overall comforting) I find your writing to be! I've gone through almost the entirety of your masterlist twice in the past month alone and have found myself returning more often to the pieces of literature/poems your reference sometimes. (Especially that one poem by Benedict Smith! I've read a few more by him because of you and they're just wonderfully lovely 💛 so I'm eternally thankful to you for including it.)

I may be wrong in assuming, but I believe you may have studied/are currently studying a degree involving literature. I hope this isn't too foreward of me but I was wandering if you have any other works of literature that you'd recommend? (I'd love to read anything you recommend from poems to plays 💛) I'm slightly embaressed to say but the works I've read are quite limited to a highschool level and since I'm currently studying Pharmacy, there are very few people who can recommend me such moving works. :)

I also feel like I should apologise for writing such a large ask, so please accept this apology as well hehe 💕🥺

Sincerely,

Bek 🌻

Hey there Bek 💚💕✨

First of all... I'm incredibly sorry for how long it took me to reply to this ask, I know you sent it weeks ago and I'm honestly just ashamed of myself for only replying now! I've been taking a bit of a Tumblr break again, or rather a break from literally everything, and I guess not having written anything in a while made me feel guilty whenever I opened Tumblr, so... All I can say for myself really is that I'm sorry you had to wait so long! Again, I never ever ignore anyone, I promise! It just sometimes takes a while for me to reply 😅🙈

Now, I'm so happy to hear that you've been enjoying my writing! 🥺🥰 Hearing that it's comforting and inspiring to you is honestly such a relief and indeed does make me happy more than I can say 💚 It's so cool that you're checking up on all the references I make aaahhh 🥺🥺🥺 I love it 😁 You're always more than welcome, love! I don't think I could stop including references to literature, culture, history and the science around it even if I tried 😅☺️

And yeah, I did study classics and newer literature as a minor for my undergrad degree 😄 But tbh I still work with literally a lot even now (I'm in grad school for media and cultural studies) even though it's technically not something I've been properly taught ☺️ I'm just a nerd who likes to learn on her own, and with media and culture you can pretty much delve into almost anything you want 😂😅🤷🏻‍♀️

Now, it's not forward at all to ask me for literature recommendations! 😁😃 I truly love recommending stuff!!! I have a few up my sleeve, even though you've probably heard of a few already, for obvious reasons: A lot of what I truly enjoyed reading was something Tom Hiddleston has worked on in one way or another! It's truly a magnificent guideline for picking new literature... Just look up the literary origins of his films/shows/plays and you will be in for quality literature most of the time! I don't think I've ever mentioned it on here, but me reading High-Rise (JG Ballard) because I heard Tom would be partaking in the film adaptation was actually what sparked my love and passion for literature!!! Yep, it's that good. Now on to the recommendations though 😁(This... got rather long):

Plays

Anything by Harold Pinter really, but for obvious reasons you'll find a lot of additionally fun stuff for Betrayal, which is lovely and truly funny if you're in on the kind of humour btw

Medea by Euripides (a classic, but I love it nonetheless... You can find translations in almost every language) ((and pls stay away from Seneca's Medea, because ugh... Euripides is far better AND the og story, as much as anyone can say that for Greek mythology)

La Bohème by Puccini (I know, this is technically an opera, but if you read the libretto it's honestly just like a play... And if you're up for it, the og story is in prose and written by Henri Murger... It's better than the opera, but oftentimes more difficult to find) ((this one is hilarious and basically explains an entire cultural subgroup in the 19th century)

Faust by Goethe (many people hate it, but I LOVE this one!!! It's also been translated into any and every language, and it's so interesting philosophically!!! It's also referenced SO freaking often literally everywhere, and the operas and ballets based on it are always my fave) ((there's technically Faust I and Faust II, but you're good to go just reading the first one)

Anything by Shakespeare, obviously... Though I do love me my Hamlet like every other literature enthusiast (Yes, I can do that one famous soliloquy in act 3 scene 1 by heart as well...)

Poetry

Again, anything Shakespeare for the win, but I LOVE the sonnets and keep a copy of them with me most of the time (Yes, I own multiple copies of the sonnets...) ((My faves are 116 and 91, but there's always so much truth to be found in there!!!))

A lot of the stuff William Blake wrote is amazing, though you have to pick carefully with him if certain religious motives aren't your thing... I love The Tyger, which is an individual poem, and the collection of works called Tyger, Tyger which does have many good ones and a few ones that are a little more on the mediocre side

Do not go gentle into that good night by Dylan Thomas (I know this one by heart as well... It's beautiful, and there's a version of Hiddleston reading it on YouTube, which gives you even more goosebumps than the poem does anyway)

Invictus by William Ernest Henley (same for this one, also read by the one and only) ((I love to read this when I'm feeling down or powerless))

The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock by T. S. Eliot (This is another wow piece with many quotable lines and truths... I love it a lot and keep coming back to it! It's also a great example of how literary modernism tried to condense the complexity and passing of time and history into a single frame that had to be intrinsically poetical in nature... As in, this poem could've been a short story in any other period, but modernists loved to make everything a poem so here you go)

Der Zauberlehrling by Goethe (This one sucks in all English translations I’ve found, poetically speaking, but in German it’s such a fun piece! If you’ve ever seen the Disney ‘The Sorcerer’s Apprentice’ with Mickey Mouse or listened to the orchestral piece by Paul Dukas, then this poem proves very useful in truly understanding either! But again, the English translation should only be taken for informational value... The German one is also worded hilariously)

Prose

Short edited by Alan Ziegler (This is a collection of short prose forms that honestly is a must for me... I love this book to pieces and have had it for years now! It’s an international anthology, so you’ll find more and less famous authors from all around the world represented with short stories, prose poems, short essays and just curious and interesting snippets of writing! I draw a lot of inspiration from this book)

High-Rise by JG Ballard (As mentioned above, I owe this book part of my personality... I don’t think I would be the same person without having read it. It’s not necessarily full of wisdom, but if you’re interested in a different kind of portrayal of the human condition, then this is the read you need to take a look at)

The City of Dreaming Books by Walter Moers (This is another piece that changed my perception of literature, even though this is a more ordinary and ‘fun’-value read... It’s one of my favourite books and it’s endlessly entertaining! So if the classics are a bit heavy for you, this one is perfect for casual readers as well! Its value really does lie more in the realisation of how fun literature can be, and the freedom you have as an author... So really, I could recommend everything by Moers, his style is amazing both in the German original and in the English translation. Yes, I’ve read both.)

Good Omens by Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett (This is comedic gold, stylistic gold and generally a bloody perfect book. Also a ‘fun’-value read, but it also does a magnificent job at showing you what you can do with literature, and how well-developed characters are supposed to be written)

The Penguin Book of the Undead (Penguin Classics) edited by Scott G. Bruce (This book is basically an education on fifteen hundred years of supernatural encounters and how culture wrote, used and perceived them. You get introductory texts for different periods and social groups, explaining how and why ghost stories were written and used, followed by passages of the prime source texts (eg. ancient necromancy shown on The Odyssey). Really, this book is just for cultural history nerds)

The Earthquake in Chile by Kleist (This isn’t necessarily one of my faves, but it has helped me understand what studying literature and culture can do for you. In case anyone remembers my insistence in Wicked Game that you gotta know what a pomegranate symbolises... this novella is such an instance where this knowledge would prove useful. Generally, it gives many opportunities to think about privilege and circumstance)

The Symposium by Plato (You’ll probably not want to read the entire collection of speeches tbh... But the concepts introduced mainly here and in some of Plato’s other work are well worth looking into! For example, the ‘double being’ introduces a concept that in modern fiction is called soulmates... Just sayin’)

[benmcm18]

Film Genres – Critical Reflection

Opening Notes…

Compared to last year, these last three months have been incredibly transformative for me as a filmmaker. Not only have I developed a short film which is the main focus of this post but I’ve also, been taught about the importance of production management and also, been offered roles on third-year film shoots. In order for me to properly reflect on Catacombs of the Lost, I need to discuss what has happened over these three months. I want to use the structure of Sam’s blog to talk about this film project as I believe it summarises the pros and cons of the whole production well and it also allows some self-reflection and honest constructive criticism on the work. (So props to you Sam xx)

My Thoughts…

I’ve been stuck in a rut when it comes to creating films since the summer. I constantly want to push myself in terms of creativity and scope. I do not really feel playing safe has many benefits but I do understand it helps with putting what I have been taught into practice and building a solid foundation when it comes to filmmaking. Regardless of me knowing that I can sometimes get caught up in trying to great the most ambitious project possible.

That entire conundrum I’ve talked about above is what I feel was the biggest issue for Catacombs of the Lost (COTL) but also for me, what makes it one of my most proud projects so far.

There are faults with the film, problems with the pacing, dialogue, story, etc. These issues are something I really care about (especially the story) because to me, it does not matter how good the film looks or how great the sound is. If it is not a story the viewer can engage with. I’ve failed. I get caught up in creating a large-scale fictional story because I really am not interested in creating a project (at this moment in time) that is grounded in reality. I don’t enjoy that. I want to be creative and push myself in all areas. I really want everyone I work with to be as creative as possible and experiment, without the worry of messing up. In this project, I feel the members of my group did this. For example, Orla discussed the idea of creating her own composition for the film. I love that! Why not? This is the perfect time to experiment and learn and it is one of the stand-out parts of the film. Seeing people’s reactions and noises when the music comes in at the beginning of the chase is something I’ve never experienced and something I will truly cherish as a director.

So reflecting on this film I have taken away several things:

I did not spend enough time on the script.

I need to be more organised and coordinated when directing on set. This constructive criticism mainly came into my mind after being on set with the third years. Whilst, I enjoyed being on set creating COTL I should have done a better job focusing on tasks at hand. Going forward I would actually like to focus more on pre-production, Production management taught me everything I need to prepare for a film shoot.

I would want someone else to edit the film. I love editing, however, even though I do feel I am open to cutting anything from my film I think a fresh perspective really helps in finding solutions to issues that appear through the edit.

I do not believe the film was ambitious enough. I feel a constant part of this post is going to be talking about scale and ambition. For me, the next project I want to create will have VFX, a larger world, a compelling narrative story. However, maybe for my next project, I should create something more “experimental” as I’ve never really delved into that.

I want to be more creative. The thought of not making something that truly pushes you creatively I just do not get. I touched on this idea above but after this project, my goal is to create projects like this until it works. Until I get it perfect. I do not like the idea of being told that this is a bad thing to want to strive, for even if the project turns out “bad.”

Class - Overall Feedback

The score and voice of The Devil were well received.

The Dialogue of the Devil was hard to hear.

The use of violin works well in the horror genre.

The dialogue is not very well written.

Too much is happening in the beginning.

Maybe don’t need the start.

When Henry looked blankly at his Mother it was off-putting.

The chase is cool.

Narratively confusing when/why he starts running.

Like rising up of the Devil

Lighting is impressive and believable for space.

Nice transition into red space.

Great visuals.

Production design really added to it. Immersed in film.

Liked the idea, ambition and location.

The time frame is unclear.

Green Knight vibes!

“Fantastic”

Super ambitious

Would like to “see the demise of all parties” - John 2021

Critical Feedback… *If I don’t write anything after I agree with everything they say and do not have anything to add*

DAVID B - Discussing Cinematography and General feedback

“The cinematography was nice. It included some very exciting movements.” - Ben A was fantastic to work with when it came to cinematography. He also understood that the VFX shots we wanted required me to use Premiere Pro on my home PC. This meant he chose to film the project in 4K instead of 6K which overall saved us so much time when it came to editing. Time I think we really needed.

“Motivated light sources”- Ben A, Eilis and Sam all had a hand in creating the lighting. There were some issues on the first shoot which caused us to have to change the entire plan for the lighting. This however was fixed quickly as they were open to communication and was how we ended up with these “Motivated light sources.”

“Focus comes and goes but hopefully will improve with time and practice. Better to be adventurous now.” - I appreciate that we are being given some leniency when it comes to the focus pulling. Without a focus puller on set we focus more on the movement and blocking in the hopes there would not be an issue. Sam, I believe in his blog does mention however there is a feature in the GH5 that can help with making sure it doesn’t go out of focus, so I hope to possibly implement this in the future.

“Nice backlight especially in the second shot” - Ben A’s fantastic improvised shot.

“Like the falling/sped up bit with lamp moving on the floor.” - A played around with this for a while as originally we had planned on making it blend more and be more complicated. In all honesty, the speed was there as a placeholder but it ended up working really well with the lamp smashing that we kept it.

“Nice cutting between mother and running” - I worried about this a lot as without the sound and music it didn’t really work. Props to Orla for creating some truly wonderful sound effects.

David L - Sound, Story and some General comments

“The music is good.”

“Fix audio in the catacombs as the voice is too quiet.” - I agree with this. I don’t feel the dialogue in the chase scene is that necessary to hear, but I do still believe this whisper in your ear does add to the sinisterness of the scene.

“Cramming in too much at the start.” - I understand we were meant to keep to a time limit. There is other criticism down the line where it says that it is too large an idea for the time allocated. I could not agree more. I felt that with a bit more time (20 seconds) I could have made the opening much more palatable.

“The line jump is a bit jarring.”

“I like the concept and visuals.”

“CU shots at end of mother could have been effective.” - The reason for sticking with a wide as the final shot was because I wanted to get across the feeling of loneliness and isolation within the mother. Being closer to the mother would have been more emotional, I do agree though.

Zoe - Sound, Pacing and General comments

“Love the sound design of spirit.”

“I hate the dialogue. It is too distant to properly connect with.” - I agree with Zoe. Dialogue is something I very much struggle with. I do feel that the time limit affected the delivery of the lines in the final film as I had planned for it to be delivered over a longer period of time but I should have been aware of that when I wrote them. Zoe also mentions that we could have “added de-reverb to reduce this audio “distance” I hope we learn how to do this next trimester as we used a variety of in-camera audio and V.O for the opening scene. I also believe that because of this blend of different audio sources I can see why Zoe also said this: “I was not sold on the performance. V.O at starts sounds like reading a letter.” Whilst, I do believe David and Chloe’s performances were good I felt that when having to cut so much from the opening scene handicapped their performance.

“Loved the score. Higher tones are a bit distracting though and a bit static.” - I would highly recommend looking at Orla’s blog as she goes into detail about her process and her time spent on the score.

“Don’t feel the gear change from wanting to sacrifice then running away.”

“Wonderfully ambitious!”

The Dynamic Duo - (Leo & Juliet)

“Bring more physicality of demon for fear factor through sound.” - I’ve got to be honest I’m not really sure how I would do that but I would love to. Whilst they both seemed “Pleased with the devil voice. It hit the sweet spot.” when they say that they want more physicality I’m not sure what they mean by “physical” but I would really like to be explained.

“Work on audio is good.”

“Chase could have used more sound. Footsteps should have been louder.”

“Brilliant Location” - That is all thanks to Sam. He did a fantastic job finding the group a location.

Ben - Directing

*I really want to reflect on my role as a director as that was the one I chose for this project. I’ve talked about my role as an editor above in parts. Overall, whilst I enjoy editing and am happy I managed to get the film down to the time limit. I do believe that with someone else as editor the film could have possibly improved in the final cut.*

Anyway, with that out the way, I will now talk about directing. Firstly, I’m not really 100% sure directing is. I have my own idea and from what I gather online is that they are the creative leads on a film project but I’m confused as to what that entails. Or more specifically, how I get good at doing that.

Only a few weeks ago I was surprised to see on a third-year set that I was doing the role of the Producer and First Assistant Director when I was on the COTL set (This is much more true on the first shoot than the second.) I had no clue that I was and that is why I consider being on those third-year sets such a learning experience. I’ve seen a lot of different directors and their techniques this year. This has only made me want to improve and I do not know how besides “make more films” I would really appreciate if the lecturer is reading this to leave a comment quickly pointing out ways I can learn and improve. What makes a good director that people like to work with?

I felt I supported everyone on the project. Co-ordinated them well by keeping them focused on their individual roles. I sat down with different departments all the way through production and discussed how I envisioned the film. I worked with two very different actors on this project and was able to communicate to them how I wanted them to perform. I believe when it comes to enthusiasm, communication and leadership I do quite well. I just want to get better, I just do not know-how. What books can I read? What practise can I do? What can I watch? Because I’m not sure if what I’m doing is right or wrong I’m constantly second-guessing myself and wondering what I can do to improve. I think the main thing I can reflect on in my role as director is that; whilst, I got good feedback from my peers when I was on set. I really need to know if what I’m doing is the correct practice.

Ben - Writing

I will keep this shorter as I’m pretty sure I know what I did right and wrong on this project.

I enjoy writing grand stories, in fictional worlds where I can really flush on the world-building. I liked that I stuck to that with this project as it is my first medieval film and in regards to the setting and tone I think I succeeded with the script.

I have an issue with my own writing, however. I focus a lot on narrative structure and characters arcs. In this film, I think I failed both of them. I should be working to a higher level and understanding what is possible in 3 minutes. My dialogue is sluggish and I need to practise the lines out loud before I submit them.

However, this won’t stop me from creating an idea similar to this again. I love that we attempted my story and felt it was a well-made film. With a longer edit, I do truly believe it will improve.

Special thanks…

I just want to say thank you to everyone in my group who put in so much work to create my script. Who gave so much of their time to make it a reality. I am really grateful to be surrounded by people who share the same passion as I do for filming. Eilis, I am glad I was able to help show you the GH5, I hope you learnt a lot from this project and thank you for keeping everyone so positive throughout the shoots. Sam, you are fantastic at producing and you should be proud of the location you found and the relationships you established from the vaults, thank you for all the effort you put in. Orla, you are very talented at sound, thank you for even entertaining my ideas that I wanted for sound and I really appreciate how much effort you put into the film. Ben, You got a good eye for cinematic stuff (people in the crit also very much agreed) and you are very understanding, thank you for sitting down with me for hours during the edit and storyboarding, I would have not had as nearly as much fun without you.

[athena-is-a-chaotic-lil-shit]

Of Ice and Blood

Part 4

Welcome back! Hope you enjoy✨

Pairing: Tai'chi Kashharzol (Orc) x Pearl Blackbell (Human OC/Reader)

Warnings: Violence, cursing, shouting, and fighting. No blood mention. Just broken bones and stuff.

2.1k+ words [originally 1.6k but I revised it and added more details!]

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 5 Part 6

Sensing another one behind me, I went low and struck his leg with mine, using his fall to punch his chin with my right fist this time, being careful to use a controlled amount of force or else the nerve I hit will result to permanent brain injury and can be fatal.

I got up, swift in my actions as I saw the guy with a raised baseball bat heading towards me from my left flank, and the other one from the right, fast.

On reflex, I leaned back, the bat that was aimed at me hitting his comrade on the shoulder instead. Guy's lucky, actually. He would have suffered internal bleeding if it bashed the side of his skull.

Four down, two to go.

I took my stance once again to ready myself. This dude was a foot taller than me, with muscles packed with raw strength, but even so, pale in comparison to Tai'chi's p—

Stop thinking that! Focus!

"Smash her head Dan!" The man behind him yelled.

This 'Dan' went straight to me with his bat raised with intent once more.

Breathe in.

Everything slowed down. I let my heart rate decelerate, my hearing sharpened, my sense of smell heightening even further.

I closed my eyes, letting the rest of my senses take over. Years of practice, days of pain from training, each motion engraved to my entire body with purpose. To defend not only myself, but also those who are looked down upon, discriminated and stepped on like dirt. My parents had always taught me to defend myself. Me. Don't get me wrong, my parents are good people, albeit wary of the other races in our community. But the moment I left the roof of my home, I knew it was time for me to defend someone other than myself. I don't give a damn about where we come from or what kind of blood flows within our veins. I will protect those who need protecting, and set anyone straight and down to the ground when they deserve it.

Breathe out.

At the last few moments, with my eyes still shut, I changed my form. I followed his aura and pictured out the shape that was drawing up to land a serious blow to my head. Dan is solid and heavy, but everyone has at least one weakness. And this guy is not spared from that.

The bigger they are, the harder they fall.

I opened my right fist, right foot forward and relaxed my arms, my legs serving as a firm foundation for my upper body. With the bat inches away from me, I smoothly dodged to the side, using my palm to push away the hand holding the weapon and punched a vital pressure point right under his bicep.

I bent my legs even lower and struck the center of his ribs with my thumb, closing my hands as I jabbed his sciatic nerve on each side at the same time, both located in the middle line of the thigh between the groin and the knee. A solid blow to those nerve points will cause intense pain and shock to the person, along with a temporary immobility of the feet.

a/n: Self defense 101! Remember that dear readers♥

With the support of my left leg, I went behind the man, standing straight and proud. Calm, I opened my eyes when I heard his fall, staring right into the fearful ones of the moron that started all of this.

"Y-You- You killed them!"

Is he that dumb?

"Correction, I didn't. I knocked them unconscious is all. And the fellow that attacked me first? Well, he passed out from the pain of his now funny-looking arm." I stated flatly as I trudged to where he was standing.

"S-Stay away from me! Monster! Freak!" He stumbled, his ass on the ground and away from me until he felt a tree trunk on his back.

I scoffed and withdrew my knuckle dusters back under my baggy sleeve.

"You wanna know who the real monster is?" I stopped and held him in place with my scrutinizing gaze. He was trembling like a wimp at this point.

"It's you.

"You and your disgusting racist friends.

"You, along with all the people who view and treats anyone other than humankind as lowlifes and pests that are meant to be squished and eradicated from the society.

"No, it's you, and the ones who have the same mentality as you, who are monsters under the guise of a human."

I paused, not even blinking as I bore holes into his skull.

"I am human, down to every inch of my being. But unlike you, I respect and treat everyone, regardless of kind or gender, and to those who deserve it, fair and right."

Before I could continue, I scented new people coming into the scene. It was the teaching staff, along with the uni's guard.

Shocked of what they have seen, they turned towards me, angry, surprised, confused expressions on different faces.

"What have you done?!" A female, human instructor, looking to be around her late 20s shouted.

"Ma'am, if you would just let me explain—"

"You are hereby expelled from this institution, young lady!"

All the color of my skin left me as I heard the words I have dreaded even before I set foot in the campus grounds.

"Now let's not go straight to conclusions. We need to deal with this professionally AND properly Miss Holson. You are also not in authority to suspend this student." A heavily bearded dwarven professor, clad in a brown suit and Oxfords, told her off firmly.

"What are you saying Mr. Dulrik? Look at her! Look at this! She murdered students and oh my God, is that the dean's son?!"

For the love of— she blind? Why does everybody think I killed someone???

"Ma'am they are—" I was about to tell her but got cut off, again!

"Helpmehelpmehelpme!" He scrambled away from me and ran to the group of teachers and hugged the young instructor. "I don't know what came over her! She just attacked us out of nowhere!"

The audacity of this fucking bitch!

"Pardon me? Attacked you? YOU were the one who followed me out here! You and your" —I gestured to the bodies laying flat on the ground— " buddies over there!"

"She is lying! The orc was with her and and and—"

It dawned on me that I almost forgot about Tai'chi. My eyes widened, and I frantically scanned the area around for him. And there he was, standing by the oak tree, right where I told him not to move.

He seemed...irritated?

Oh no. At me?

"I have not moved an inch from where I am standing ever since I planted my feet here." He said with his deep baritone voice, turning to confront the staff. "What she's speaking is the truth. They were the ones who followed her here and attacked her, first."

"And how can we be sure you are telling the truth, orc?" Miss Holson replied spitefully.

Even the teacher, huh? Her odor smells like vomit. I mean, I knew she was...foul, but I thought it was because of the situation. Guess not.

Tai'chi did not respond. Instead, he moved to look at me in the eyes. His gaze, searching, but not in an awful way. Was he asking me what I'll do?

"How about we discuss this in the office, shall we?" An elderly professor spoke. She was wearing the university's formal teaching uniform together with black, flat, closed toe sandals. "And Miss Holson, please quiet down. As Mr. Dulrik said, we should not jump into baseless conclusions."

Miss Holson fumed and shut her mouth, holding the coward in her arms.

"Now then, Miss...?"

"Blackbell."

The woman paused. I caught a smell of surprise and... astonishment?

She cleared her throat "Well, then Miss Blackbell, please follow us to the Dean's office, along with your, companion."

Weird.

"Oh and Mr. Smith, kindly call for assistance and take the unconscious students to the infirmary to be treated and looked unto. Thank you." She told the guard. With that, she and the rest of the faculty started walking back.

I glanced at Tai'chi once more to find him, again, staring. I approached him warily, expecting him to be mad at me.

"Uh. Hi?"

I let out a long exhale when he replied, with a slight tug of his lips, his tusk jutting out. "Hi."

I fidgeted, trying to come up with words to explain myself.

"I uh, uhm. Are you mad?"

With his brow raised, "Why would I be?"

Yeah why would he be?

"I-I never told why I keep wearing my mask." I stuttered, "You see I—"

"You two! Start moving before I force you to." A teacher yelled at us from a distance.

"We'll talk later, Pearl. For now let's get this resolved first. I know for a fact that they won't expel you unless they ignore the ill intentions of the ones who attempted to harm you first. But better be safe than sorry, he was the dean's son afterall."

"Yeah... Thanks. We should.. go." I turned and started walking along his side.

******pov shift for a bit*******

Little did Pearl know, he was thinking about how...nice, yeah that's the word, definitely not sexy, you were when he witnessed your skills in combat. It awakened something in him that it took a lot of control not to get aroused there and then, which was the real reason why he stood there, unmoving from his place. Not once did he leave his eyes from you, almost jumping to help you when the guy with the baseball bat was closer than we would have liked. But oh no, he was not surprised, he was astonished and shookt , amazed when you pulled that last technique, sending the human plummeting to the ground almost soundlessly. And the way you stood right after, he knew he was smitten. That proud and intense aura you gave off was enough to make him bow down at your feet. He could feel it. He could smell it. That was his secret, he can scent people and catch any mood shift they make. Even though he told her that her eyes and brows gave it away, it was not entirely true as he could smell, literally, you and the changes on your scent.

Oh but little did he know you could to. Just not as observant as he is.

:>

*******************************

Wow— when I copy pasted the original thing from my notes to my drafts in Tumblr I was like "okay, so. I should read it AGAIN before I post it if I wanna avoid more unnoticed mistakes and keep editing it again and again even though I posted it already! " And I never though it would lead me to adding almost a half thousand words and a pov shift— which i found interesting and really nice! Should I do it more often? Like little inserts of what Tai'chi or another characters thoughts in second pov in between fics if necessary? It's just, nice, to put them in and write all out about what they were thinking outside of Pearl's pov! Let me know what you think and I hope you enjoyed reading❤

Tags: @kokokatsworld @crackinanutshell

[simpingforthisonedeer]

What's Aika's magic?

Damn this may be a long post im sorry anon but I'll just be explaining any magical traits that Aika has or uses so I can later use this post as reference for myself💞

Simply put, it's Time Magic, just like Julius. Though she also uses forbidden magic often too, more specifically necromancy. She tried to become the devil host of certain devil but it wasn't answering her calls so she gave up on that and turned to necromancy(which was going to be her focus anyway) so that she could communicate with her family even after they were dead. She never really passes the mourning stage in her life so yeah.

The time magic, well, Aika and Julius were born on the same day, same hour, and the same second. The timing of their birth has a big significance and also the reason why she has time magic. She also has a spiral grimoire, which used to be parchment colored but the pages are now black and the text is written in a different language. It turned black after she despaired when her family(her mom, two dads and younger brother) died.

As her mom died, she[Aika's mom] used a forbidden magic spell that basically passes on certain magical traits of the person who is dying. From her mother who used mirror magic, Aika gained the ability to use cameras(which I HC as a magical artifact only able to be used by people with phosphoromancy magic types), from her brother who used lightning magic, she gained resistance to lightning, from one of her fathers who used water magic, she gained the ability to breathe under water for long periods of time and a quick grasp on being able to use a magical stone that produces water. From her other father who had sword magic, well, he taught her swordsmanship but I guess his magic made it easier for her to make swords and other weapons out of creation magic. Anywho, she simply gained some passive skills from this inheritance spell. In the lore of my fic, this inheritance spell is used often by royalty so that heirs have an advantage over others.

Aika began to use mana zone more often after she went blind after a forbidden magic ritual called "Imago Dei." She traveled to the Heart Kingdom when the Priestess invited her and she began to grow the scope of her mana zone.

If I had to elaborate more on time magic, I would say that Aika can do the basics like speed up or slow down, take and give time. But she some times uses it in addition to necromancy. Like for example, by combining both, she can see the time a person was born and the time a person will die. She can see when she dies too yes. The time a person dies is never set in stone so it can be changed. The "time of death" that she sees is the estimated time a person will meet their demise if they keep going on the same course.

A strange thing about Julius and Aika's magic is that if they used magic against each other at the same time, they would cancel out. Kinda how Langris and Finral's spatial magic spells cancel out. But they can still use it in combination magic as detailed in one of the chapters.

Aika studied forbidden magic along with medicine in the Spade Nation War College for 4 ish years and that was where she had to sacrifice part of her humanity to be able to use forbidden magic properly. She gave up her ability to sleep. It's not that she can't sleep anymore or doesn't need to, but if she did close her eyes and go to sleep, it will be full of nightmarish visions of the past, present and future, both personal and unrelated to her and she can't wake up unless she endures them for 8 hours. So Aika hasn't slept properly in approximately 15 years. Emphasis on properly because she does sleep every few years in hopes that the torture would one day be gone.

Here's the picture of her weg but her full despaired weg form looks a lot more devilsh🤔 it’s rlly old art so ignore the ugliness💀💀

Edit: I also forgot about a little forbidden magic technique she uses often in battle😭 when long ranged spells are shot, mages often let go of their control over them and Aika takes advantage of this and takes control of the magic and either redirects it or stores. Ofc using magic that isn’t yours is forbidden so👀

I'll make a separate post about her spells later but a few of them were already introduced in my fic. But yeah! This is most of the info so far and thanks for the question anon!

[heyheydidjaknow]

Insert interesting AN here. It's like 2 in the morning.

Chapter 13

He finally speaks. “This isn’t going to work if you keep moving around.”

You dig your nails into your palms as he pulls another shard from your back. “I know. Still hurts.”

A pause. “I could ask Master Splinter to let you have some alcohol to numb it if you want.” His voice throughout the whole process has been incredibly soft, from since you woke up in his room until now. “The skin disinfectant is going to sting more than this.”

“I’ll drink myself to death,” you promise, half-joking in an attempt to lighten the suffocating mood. “Seeing how the past couple months have gone, I should probably just get used to pain, right?”

He pulls another piece of blood-soaked glass from your skin, placing it into a can at his side with a clink. “I really hope that doesn’t happen.” You feel him pull another portion of the skin on your back taught. “The pain thing, I mean. Not to say that I want you to drink yourself to death—”

“I get what you mean.” You try to keep an eye on him without moving your neck, not wanting to get blood on his sheets. “I’m the same way about the murdering thing.”

Silence, again.

“How’s the cockroach thing going?”

“It’s going.” He is quick if nothing else; he is already three-quarters of the way done, now at your waist. “It seemed to be working alright this morning, so it should work tonight if I’m lucky.”

You smile gently. “That’s good, then. You’re due for some good luck.”

“Of the two of us?” He leans to the side from his seat on his chair, studying your face. “I think you need it more than I do.”

You laugh. “Most teenagers boys don’t have half-naked girls on their beds because of medical reasons,” you argue. “I’d say you dealing with me is worthy of some good mojo.”

“The portal wouldn’t have been destroyed if not for you.” He leans back, pulling a particularly large piece out of your hip. “We wouldn’t even know what their ultimate plan was, what to look out for, what to expect.” He bends down, and you hear the gurgling of a liquid being poured out. “Besides,” he reasons, “it was as much my fault as yours for not thinking of the glass walls. It’s the least I could do.”

You bite down on your tongue as he starts wiping the blood off. “Shit,” you hiss, “that stings.”

A hint of excitement laces his tone. “Wanna know why?”

Your jaw relaxes as the pain subsides. “Sure,” you chuckle, strained. “Why does it hurt?”

“Well,” he starts, “this antiseptic, like most antiseptics, is comprised mainly of two compounds: ethanol, or just normal grain alcohol, and hydrogen peroxide.” He sounds like a passionate schoolteacher when he goes off about anything science-related. It is absolutely enrapturing, listening to someone so in love with their craft. “Now, ethanol activates vanilloid receptor-one, which is also activated by capsaicin, which is what makes food spicy. But the funny thing about that,” he continued, “is that, usually, the receptor is only activated by really high temperatures—the receptor is what lets you register hot things as hot.”

“I thought you said you didn’t know about medical stuff.” You wince again as he continues to clean your wounds.

“Oh, I’m just not good at applied medicine,” he chuckles nervously. “None of the serious stuff, I mean; I’d never be able to perform a proper surgery or prescribe medications without a ridiculous amount of research, but I know how to set bones and how certain chemicals react to certain receptors.”

“So, you know how it works but not how to fix it?”

“I guess so, yeah.” You hear the chair move as he gets to his feet. “I started looking into it the first night you came here, actually, since I never looked into how burns worked until…” he trails off, clears his throat. “Anyway,” he tries again, “ethanol lowers the temperature threshold to body temperature, making the cut burn. It’s also why it’s painful to drink things with a high alcohol content: your receptors register it as if you’re actually being burned.” He pushes your hair off your neck carefully. “Hydrogen peroxide acts similarly, only it activates a different receptor, known as transient receptor potential ankyrin one, and while not as much as known about it, it’s theorized that it acts similarly, resulting in you feeling pain.” Your fingernails dig into your palms again as you suck in air at the burning sensation on your neck. “But it’s important to note that antiseptics are different than disinfectants. Disinfectants are for non-organic surfaces because they contain higher concentrations of biocides than antiseptics.”

You exhale as the pain subsides. “Have you used antiseptics before now?”

“Of course.” You feel him start to place things—they feel like pads—on your back. “But I made sure to account for the differences in skin types, so unless I made a big mistake at some point, the odds of you getting chemical burns is close to zero.”

“Your confidence is very reassuring,” you grin. “By any chance, do you plan on reimbursing the cost of cutting my shirt up?”

“Nah,” he shrugs. “Was planning on having you walk out of here in the middle of fall in NYC without a shirt to make double sure you get hypothermia. As you said, we have to add to your list of injuries.”

“Of course,” you “nod’ knowingly, cracking yourself up. “No pain, no game.”

“Glad to be on the same page.” He sighs. “Honestly, I don’t have a ton of fabric to fix your shirt or jacket, so unless you have some on hand—”

Your response is immediate. “You take my shirt and fix it,” you interrupt. “If one of them is going, it sure as hell ain’t gonna be that fucking jacket.”

He blinks. Your words register after a second.

“I do not mean it in—I mean—” you immediately backpedal. “I’m not—you get what I mean, right?”

“Y-yeah. Yeah, I know what you—yeah.” He is doing absolutely nothing to help the embarrassment. “I got it; i-in hindsight, I probably should have tried taking the jacket off, but I was worried I’d cut your skin up more.”

You press your face into the mattress as you feel what you assume is tape being laid along your sides. “I appreciate it.” A pause. “I don’t actually remember what happened after the main explosion happened. What…”

No response. You feel his knee sink to the bed as he reaches over, applying the adhesive on the other side of your skin quietly.

“I don’t wanna know?”

“Probably not.” His hand presses the creases flat into the curve of your back, sighing again.

You smile nervously. “I made a fool of myself, then?”

“… I wouldn’t say that.” He applied another pad to your neck. “Just—for glass rain, you were pretty calm, I’d say.”

“For glass rain,” you highlight. “Seeing as I don’t remember it, I can’t imagine it was good.”

He removes his hands. “I honestly don’t know why what happened happened,” he admits. “Just know that the guys are probably not going to give you a hard time for it.”

“Probably?” You finally turn your head to look at him.

He shrugs, gently turning your head back. “Mikey, sadly, seems to get it more than we do, so that’s two.”

You lick your lips absentmindedly. “Hey,” you shrug, “I’ll take fifty percent.”

You feel a heavy blanket drape over your back. “I still have to get the glass out of your hair, and I don’t have anything else for you to wear, so this’ll have to do. I won’t look while you adjust it.”

Your eyes strain to check. Sure enough, you watch him turn around and face the opposing wall.

You sit up, pulling the blanket around yourself to save your modesty. “You’re good. Need me to turn around?”

“Uh, yeah.”

You lift yourself, careful of your leg as you reposition yourself to have your back to him. “Thanks for this, if I haven’t said it already.”

“It’s no problem.” Fingers part your hair, tweezers now attached to your scalp. “You should see the stupid injuries I’ve had to help my brothers with.”

“I bet,” you feel yourself grinning. “I’m surprised you guys haven’t torn each other to shreds yet.”

“There have been close calls.” You hear the clinking of the can again. “Especially after getting our hands on weapons when we did. You would not believe the number of concussions we had.”

You put your hands up for dramatic effect. “Madness.”

“You laugh,” he laughs, “but figuring out our anatomy to any degree of accuracy was hard enough. I’m convinced Mikey messed Raph up with his nunchaku when we were ten.”

You let him move your head. “This I gotta hear.”

“Oh, it isn’t a really interesting story,” Donnie clarifies. “He just accidentally hit Raph in the head too hard during training and almost caved in his skull.”

You try not to laugh. “What counts as an interesting story, then?”

“Well,” he contemplates, “there was that time with the oven.”

You turn to look at him the best you can with the limited movement he allowed. “The time with the oven?”

“Wax paper catches fire if you put it in the oven.”

You nod, turning back. “Was it you or Mikey?”

“A bit of both.” Clink. Clink. “I thought wax paper implied paper made of some sort of wax, and Mikey was trying to make decorative candles. The theory,” he continues, clearly trying to make himself not sound stupid, “was that putting it in the oven would get more consistent heat throughout the wax.”

You try to hide your amusement for his sake. “I take it that didn’t pan out.”

“It did not.” He chuckled dryly, combing his fingers through your hair to feel for glass. “Splinter was so mad, I thought we wouldn’t see tomorrow.”

Your fingers clench as his hand catches. “Not so harsh,” you breathe in pain. “You’re gonna rip my hair out.”

“Oh, sorry.” He removed his hand. “I forgot it was—that’s stupid,” he edits. “I’m not used to dealing with hair is what I meant.”

“It’s alright,” you reassure him quickly. “Just try not to tug so hard.”

“I don’t think there’s any glass left anyways, so.” You hear the chair wheel away from the bed. “That probably won’t be a problem.”

You turn around properly, adjusting the blanket over your torso. “Thank you for all your help.”

His eyes flicker downward for a second before staring directly and deliberately at your face. “You’re welcome,” he nods, not moving his eyes. “You were incredibly easy to work with.”

“You made quick work of it.” Your legs cross over another, your worn sneaker matching the color of the concrete floor. “And don’t worry about my shirt; I have to go shopping, anyways.”

He blinks. “Why?”

“Well,” you reason, “My clothes are already kinda worn, and I’ve been meaning to buy leather gloves for a while, so it would give me an excuse to go look for a good pair.”

“Leather gloves?”

You nod. “I was hashing it out with Casey, and he agreed they would look badass and cover up my hand scars.”

“You know,” he suggests, poorly feigning nonchalance, “I could make you some.” He rubs the back of his neck. “I have the know-how, and I’m pretty good with that sort of thing.”

You shake your head immediately, face heating up. “After everything you’ve done for me, I can’t let you do that.”

“Sure you can.” You can practically see the gears turning as he verbally plans it out. “I’d need measurements, of course, and finding good quality leather might be a challenge, but it would allow a lot of stylistic freedom. If you gave me a sketch of what you and Mikey worked out a sketch—”

“Dude, no.” You feel like such a girl, getting flustered over something like this. “Never mind how much unnecessary work that would take—”

“It would take me an afternoon, tops.”

“—it would be way too much trouble to find all the right materials and everything!” You shake your head more vigorously. “You have enough on your plate already.”

He pauses. “What if I could give it a practical use? Like, for self-defense or something. Would you let me then?”

You blink. “Self-defense?”

“Yeah.” You feel as though you are missing something when he hurries to clarify, “You had a knife next to you when I came to pick you up. Having something more user-friendly might—not that you can’t use a knife, but you don’t have a ton of experience with them, especially using a kitchen knife against the Foot and you get what I’m saying, right?”

You hesitate, trying to understand what he said before nodding. “I guess that makes sense,” you concede. “It would be shitty to go out like a bitch after convincing myself I deserve to live so many times. That would be kinda inconvenient.”

Despite the fact he looks like you just put a knife to your throat, he nods. “Yeah,” he confirms tentatively. “Inconvenient.”

You shift the blanket under your arms, folding it so that it would stay at your chest. “Alright,” you sigh, “You convinced me. But!” You aim to accentuate this caveat, “But, not my design. If you’re going to go through all the trouble, you design it to how you think they would look cool, so you feel good about what you’re making.”

“You trust me to not make you look bad?”

“Totally.” You smile. “Looking at the Shellraiser makes me want to vomit, but it’s not from lack of style.”

He blinks. “What?”

“Exactly what I said,” you commit.

Your statement makes him take pause, but, eventually, he seems to get what you mean. “Then… thanks,” he nods. “I should probably fix your jacket first, though. Unless you want to walk around New York in the middle of the night in a blanket.”

“I’d rather not,” you admit. “I feel like that would not be my greatest move.”

He gets up. “Are you alright to be left alone? It’s alright if you aren’t,” he clarifies, “but I’d have to shift the timetable a bit if that’s the case.”

You blink, confused. “Why wouldn’t I be?”

“No reason.” He is lying, you are sure. “Just wanted to check before I told the guys I was good to go.”

Something about that statement seems strange to you. “Wait,” you clarify, “why would you go on another mission tonight?”

He averts eye contact.

You lean forward. “How long have I been weird?”

“Not too long, I don’t think. You were out when I got there.”

You reach over, forcing him to look at you head-on. “Are you lying to me?”

He does not answer.

“Has more than a day passed?”

He shakes his head. “It’s only about seven.”

You let go, resting your face in your hands. “so, I’ve been out for, what, sixteen hours?”

“Kinda.” He fiddles with his hands nervously. “A little less, I think.”

“And how long have I been out of it?”

He takes a moment. “You were crying a lot when you woke up,” he concedes. “At about two in the afternoon. I think you cried yourself out, because when I came to check on you—I thought maybe water would help— you were out.”

“Wonderful.” You look up at him. “And was it loud?”

“Not really.” He looks as though he was being interrogated. “I wouldn’t have come, but I left something in here that I needed.” His voice is back to being soft and calm. “You were mumbling about your hands a lot. I actually tied you up,” he chuckles nervously, “because you were moving around so much and getting the shards farther into your back.”

You sigh, something in your stomach sinking. “Probably not a terrible move. Then what?”

“When you started getting normal again,” he continues, “I untied you and got you to stop moving when I started taking the glass out, and I’m guessing you remember the rest.”

You do not say anything.

He stares intently at a corner. “I know this might come off as rude,” he starts carefully, “and I don’t mean to be rude…”

“Spit it out,” you gesture. “Let’s just… what’s up?”

“I honestly do not know enough about this sort of thing to help you.” He looks back at you. “I wish I did, really, but I don’t. I don’t know how you’re wired, mentally, and it’s really not an area I can help you with.”

“I’m not asking you to.”

“But I do know,” he continues, “it has to be hard, trying to find help, given the circumstances, especially after everything that’s happened.”

“Please,” you almost beg, “just get to the point.”

“I think it would be a good idea to start spending more time with Master Splinter.” He looks down at his hands. “I think, given that he knows more about this sort of thing than I do, it would be good for you.”

“So, you’re prescribing therapy?”

“I’m not saying you’re crazy—”

“That’s not what I asked.”

The silence is choking you.

“I don’t know if you have a disorder,” he sighs. “Again, not my area of expertise.” He tries to phrase what he means right, and the next few sentences come out slow and deliberate. “All I know is that the people you’ve known your whole life aren’t around anymore, and you’re having really bad nightmares, and that you freeze up when you get really scared. I don’t want you to suffer on our account.”

You stare down at your feet.

“If not because you’re worried about it,” he tries at a different angle, “would you do it as payment for the gloves? That way, it’s not a handout.”

You smile at that. “Hand out.”

It takes a second. “Pun not intended,” he sighs. “I kinda wish it was, now.”

You look up. “I’ll talk to him while you guys are gone on your mission tonight.”

“Thank you,” he breathes. “I appreciate it, really.”

You smile properly. “Hey,” you say, adjusting the blanket. “You take glass shards out of my back and I scratch yours, or something like that.”

He chuckles. “I should probably go let the guys know,” he gets to his feet. “If you want,” he offers, “you can come with.”

“I’ll take a raincheck.” You get up after him, vision blacking out for a moment as you grab the wall for support. “But I can help you grab all your stuff to move out, if you need.”

His eyes go wide. “You don’t have clothes,” he reminds you.

You almost roll your eyes at this particular concern. “Covers more than a bathing suit,” you reason. “I’ll be careful about making sure it doesn’t slip, I promise.”

“But what if it does?”

“Then they should take a picture of the only pair of tits they’ll ever see in person.” You start to hobble towards the door. “I’ve dealt with worse wardrobe malfunctions. I’ll be fine, really.”

“Your flippancy is incredibly concerning.”

You try not to laugh. You look back at him, grin. “Concerning? Me?” You bring a hand to your chest. “I’m offended, sir. Besides,” You giggle, “I need to have a chat with your brothers if that episode is today.”

--

The look on his face immediately validates your decision. “Could you run that by me again?”

You wrap an arm around his shoulders, hand traveling across the open air as if to reveal your statement. “Cockroach. Terminator.”

“Okay, I’m going to need you to give me more explanation again.”

A sharp grin spreads across your features. “Imagine this,” you explain smoothly. “A giant cockroach—“

“Hate it.”

“— that is also a cyborg—“

“Hating it more.”

“— complete with near invincibility—“

“Sounds like my worst nightmare.”

“— with saws.”

“And it is.” Raphael removes your arm from his shoulders. “I’m sold. No more of that.”

“So,” you confirm, leaning back against the wall, “what is everyone not going to do?”

“I dunno,” Mikey admits easily. “I was too busy watching the horror settle on my brother’s face.”

“I’m not horrified—” he protests.

“You are.”

“Am not!”

“Am too!”

“As a neutral bystander,” Leo pipes up, trying not to openly laugh, “yes, you are.”

You keep your eyes focused on Raphael and not the car. “Look,” you cut in, “are you gonna let him do his job or nah?”

“I’m not promi—“

“The hell you ain’t” He shot a furious look at his younger brother. “You best not breathe on Donnie before the roach is back in the car and as far away from that fuckin’ ooze as possible!”

“Reassuring,” you nod. “Good.”

“If you’re so worried about Donnie messing up,” Leo suggests, “why don’t you use the remote control? You’ve watched him work with it before, right?”

You scoff. “I’d rather chop off my hands with a dull knife than get in the death mobile.”

The other two brothers antagonize each other. “It’s not that bad.”

“Isn’t it, though?” You cross your arms, a sick feeling sinking into your stomach at the thought. “Never mind the fact the lead engineer is a teenage boy, or that it’s made of the finest trash, but it’s also a moving, mechanical vehicle driven by another— and I mean this with the utmost respect— rowdy hormonal teenager.”

“Hey,” he protests, “that’s not true.”

“Karai.”

His face heats up. “It was a mistake that I’ve already owned up to.”

You put your hands up. “Look, man,” you clarify, smiling as the crisis is thoroughly averted, “I don’t blame you. Karai isn’t exactly a dime a dozen, and we can all agree she is an extremely formidable fighter who can thoroughly kick your ass.”

Donnie is getting a run for his money with this blush. “What does— she cannot,” he stammers, “and even if she could—“

“Oh, do not even,” you tease. “We all know that her being a formidable opponent who knows every weapon in her arsenal like the back of her hand and uses them well has something to do with why you like her so much. Raph’s the same way.”

Speak of the devil. “What’d you say?”

“You have a thing for strong women who can probably kick your ass.”

He seems to consider this for a minute. “I’ll get back to you on that.”

“Cool. Anyways.” You turn your attention back to Leo. “The point is, as someone who is also into people who can kick my ass— literally or academically— I get the appeal. Also,” you add, grinning like a moron, “her eyeliner game is on point, which doesn’t hurt.”

He blinks. “Do you like Karai?”

“Absolutely. One hundred and ten percent.” You shrug. “She’s badass.”

“More so than Donnie?”

“Are you guys ever going to get in or are you guys just going to stand out there all night?” Donnie pokes his head out of the vehicle. “We’re losing darkness.”

'Saved by the bell.' “Point is,” you say quickly, “I don’t want in that thing. Couldn’t pay me.”

“Leo! Hurry up!”

“Comin’!” He climbs into the Shellraiser, wheels spinning as the team drove off and out of the lair.

You close your eyes.

You do not want to go to Hamato Yoshi for therapy. You will bet money it does not go well.

‘You promised, though. Might as well have, anyways. Did you promise?’

Your morals and ideologies completely clash.

‘Ninjas aren’t all rendered insane. They have to be doing something right, in theory.’

You use the wall for support, already knowing the walk home is going to suck as you limp towards the dojo.

Table of Contents

Chapter 12

Chapter 14

[atinybitofau]

S E O N G H W A ⥈ mafia au series

RECAP: training with the boys begins and frustrations between you all get heated. Seonghwa offers you a kind gesture of motivation to get you to learn how to fight.

word count: 1600+ , tags: angst fluff

characters: ateez (ensemble), reader

⤩ CHAPTER 3 ⤩

character list . one shot

“So what DO you know how to do?”

Yunho has never recalled seeing such a pathetic attempt at shooting in his entire life. Up until today when he saw the way your hand trembles around a gun. San, on the other hand, was elated to watch you suck at every single thing you tried to do. You were downright frustrated knowing: learning how to shoot, physically defend yourself, and fighting back wasn’t something you sought to learn.

He kept his hopes high though, Yunho, wanting to see you prosper at the side of his ruthless boss. And even if San thinks otherwise of the circumstances, Yunho assumed your place beside Seonghwa would do the heartless southside king justice. Being with him for so long, Yunho knew of Seonghwa’s shortcomings. Love was undoubtedly one of the assets Seonghwa never had. Seeing as he’s at least trying, Yunho wanted to help out the fact.

He had become frustrated too whilst teaching you and decided maybe you needed a breather.

You were quiet despite San’s failed efforts to get into your head with his rambunctious insults. You only stared at the ground while the other two pondered over new ideas. You weren’t trying at all. You’d like to think it’s because you refuse to take part in justifying yourself for a self proclaimed husband. Honestly, you just had little motivation to try let alone exert any unnecessary efforts.

“Your husband’s arrived early.” A meddling voice fills your empty mind. “He‘s on his way to pick your ass up so look alive.”

Your lips curt a faint affirmation before taking your things and beelining for the building’s locker room. There was soft excitement that frenzied deep down in your stomach as you changed. Not that being around a bunch of buffoons bothered you much but you’d much more prefer the company of a senile swine like your husband than them any day. As pathetic as they sounds to you...

San’s picking at his nails cooly on the outside patio while Yunho leans against a pillar. You’re sat cozy in a chair with your bag over your lap as you all await the said mob boss’ arrival.

“Fashionably fucking late, as always.” San seethes through gritted teeth. “Does that asshole not know I have better things to do than babysit his sorry excuse for a wife?”

San was getting sick and tired of it already. Of course, unbeknownst to you, San absolutely adored his precious leader. It doesn’t excuse the fact that your obnoxiously attractive self gets to settle down with his own first love. To add to it, Seonghwa was effortlessly throwing you around like a treasure that must be watched at all times. Somehow, San realizes the time Seonghwa claimed he had when bargaining his new gift did not exist. So here San was doing Seonghwa’s bidding yet again.

Yunho notices the clench in San’s tight look and glares into his own. “Sannie. Let’s not get careless.”

“Bastard better think twice if he thinks I’m gonna still be sleeping in his house after this.”

San glances at you with no momentary comfort before sticking a cigarette into his lips. You note the face of shock that masks on Yunho’s face but says nothing at all.

“He’s here.” Yunho coughs out while glaring at the cancer stuck between San’s lips. “Kill that stupid thing.”

“With pleasure.” San growls back eyes groveling at you.

“San.”

You stand up upon seeing Seonghwa’s knowing glare from the cracked window of his sleek black SUV. The tables turned on the fellows around you when your heels flick on an opposite direction. Being unwanted never bothered you. Being unwanted forced into a situation has not once bothered you. Being victim to it and having the choice to walk out? Now that’s an additional option you’ve never always have and will always willingly take. You don’t do unnecessary efforts. And you know when you aren’t wanted.

“Y/n!”

You ignore them with heavy feet trudging in no resolute destination in mind. Your fingers play with the earphones in your bag before placing them in your deafening ears. You’re joined by a slow moving car at your side while you walk in no particular direction away from your fiancé.

“Honey, get in.”

You ignore him with a long press of your volume up button.

“Stop being stubborn, y/n.” His voice gets harder. “If I have to get out of this car so help me god I’ll—“

You snatch an earphone out of your ear. “You’ll have San deal with me?”

He abruptly brakes when you do. You let out a grunt of vexation before placing an earbud back in your ear.

Seonghwa decides to park his car right then and there to throw you over his shoulder like a sack of rice. Your face flushes in the hottest color of pink as you try to break free.

“S-SEONGHWA WHAT THE HELL?”

“This’ll be what stubborn gets you from now on.”

You resort to sulking in the front seat as your husband possesively holds his hand on the surface of your thigh. You don’t bother even looking back at where the both of you left San and Yunho, irritated eyes strewn on the outside of the moving vehicle.

“I’m assuming your training didn’t go too well.” He comments while driving faster this time.

You don’t reply making Seonghwa’s fingers twitch on your lap. So much for convincing yourself you aren’t wanted.

“Y/n, I’m no psychic. You need to tell me if something bothers you.”

You scoff. “And what, Seonghwa? You’re gonna fix it?”

“I most definitely will try if that’s what you entail me to do.”

You don’t move from your position as your husband drives you to what you know is back home. The eerie silence that fills the both of you in the car makes your gut clench. His fingers on your thigh aren’t helping the entire car ride either.

Seonghwa’s presence to you reminded you of air. He wasn’t a nuisance to have around and for an appraising relationship to move forth with lesser issues, that’s a good thing. Actually, to add to the fact, Seonghwa was much more meaningful company than anyone else. He never crossed any unnecessary lines and if he did, he did so with grace. It was hardly something you can’t sleep on.

He escorts you, with a distance between you two, towards your shared room and it feels domestic. There’s little need for words. Needn’t questions either. Seonghwa was far from an open book, but he’s not the type of novel that pegged your fancy anyway.

Seonghwa’s back was to you as he stripped out of his dark suit, shoulders bared with torturous temptation. Your mind was clouded no thoughts head empty when he brings you out of your trance with a slight quirk of his chin around his shoulder.

“I can at least draw to a conclusion,” He just keeps pushing the subject of matter you refuse to shed light on. “that the basics of living with a man like me weren’t taught to you properly then.”

Your face becomes shaded with amusement. “Living with a man like you requires basic training?”

“You always think so little of me, my precious wife.”

You feel like you’re in some fanatical love story— how fast he is to getting to your place, finger upon the tip of your chin. He lifts your gaze up onto his eyes with certainty and slight amusement too.

“I may not be of some threat to you but some people will think of you to them. I’m an expensive man and I don’t spend my money and the likes of it on just anybody.”

A twitched smile screws your expression. “And that’s supposed to impress me?”

“Scare you a better word for it.” He slips on a low cut long sleeve and a pair of casual pants before dropping you onto his lap. “I need to know. That at all times I’m never with you.. you’re prepared to take down the worst.”

Your breath hitches at the back of your throat as his fingers grace the exposed skin on your neck. His lips take upon the deed of pressing a sweet kiss, the feel of pain besting you. You don’t realize in the blur of the pleasure how a throbbing pain lingers where his lips lift.

“I know I promised not to take things too far but if you have no reason to fight, I’ll have to offer you one.”

It’s not a mark of lust nor was it a bite of love. It was a mark for people to see. It was a caligraphy of his own sort, making itvlegible for anyone to read. His lips relieves the vibrating pain and you’re curious. You turn to face him and his breath meets yours. You get caught up in something that isn’t there but you can taste. It was like something you need. A lot like air.

“It was meant for your skin.” He reassures you taking an inch of space back. “It’s not inclined for you to believe it’s also for your lips sake.”

You chuckle softly no blush apparent to his notion. “What a romanticist.”

He boredly hums. “Seems so.”

You wear a shirt that reveals the mark as if you’re proud to bear it. No, it’s not pride you feel entitled to, it’s the meaning. It gives you reason to fight.

Seonghwa stands beside you while you throw punches; in front of you when you kick and swing so he can teach you how it’s done.

It’s then you realize why he’s Southside’s king and why he deserves his title.

“Yunho informed me that your lack of skill was overbearing this afternoon.” Seonghwa speaks highly, eyes dawned with amusement and amazement. “That or I’m just one hell of a good teacher.”

You lean over to help him up. “I didn’t have a reason to defend myself. I think I do now.”

“While fighting me?”

“Something like that..”

@atinybitofau

a/n: ROUGH EDIT

[yet-another-voice]

about me ☺️

Since you’re going to be reading a lot of words directly from my brain, it feels fitting to give a little look into the person behind the words: me!

BASIC INFO

name: Jess

age: 20

location: United Kingdom

uni degree: film production

zodiac: leo ☀️ sagittarius 🌙 leo ⬆️

side note: I've been into astrology since 2016!

height: 5′5″ (165 cm)

personality type: ENFP

pronouns: she/her

FAVOURITES

movie: Nerve

movie genre: chick flick, romantic comedy, documentary, comedy-drama

book: Flipped by Wendelin Van Draanen

book genre: romance, contemporary fiction, coming of age

ice hockey team: New York Rangers

musician(s): Ariana Grande, Megan Thee Stallion, Rina Sawayama, Waterparks, WILLOW, Flo Milli

music genre: female rap, pop punk, alternative, pop

anime: Haikyuu!, Jujutsu Kaisen, My Hero Academia, Rent-A-Girlfriend

bonus: Nobara Kugusaki from jjk (below) is the anime character I look the most similar to! her hairstyle is literally what mine was a couple months ago (I’ve grown it out a bit since)

FUN FACTS

I've always been good at/enjoyed writing, but only realised I wanted to pursue it recently! (I’ll probably make a post explaining this)

I’m the oldest sibling

despite having a rough time throughout school (bullying, mental health, etc.) I have always been confident and self-assured

being a waitress for the last two years also definitely helped my social skills and made me more charming lmao

I’d love to make some mutuals but don't know how! my first post mentions how I've never used tumblr before now

my favourite colour is orange

I love baking! I got into it properly when I started making aggressively cakes for my friends’ birthdays (essentially me saying “I’m making you a cake so tell me what you want, no you can't stop me”)

on that note my love language is gift giving; not in a materialistic expensive way, more so a ‘I saw this thing and thought of you’ way

I love fashion! personal style mainly, but I’ve been getting more into runway lately.

reading physical books is something I got back into in the last year! before that I was (and still am) reading fanfiction on ao3

I taught myself how to use after effects and premiere pro! I can make decent instagram video edits (very inconsistently) and post unlisted youtube videos for my irl friends to view

the videos are unlisted for privacy reasons btw! I posted publicly for a while but got tired of blurring backgrounds, blurring identifying info on my clothes, and just generally having to be hyper-vigilant while editing which took some of the fun out of it

keeping the viewership to just people I know irl took that pressure off :)

commentary youtube videos are probably my most watched genre of video content, and I mean any kind of commentary: books, movies, social media trends and behaviours, analysis, pop culture, you name it I’ll probably be interested in a video essay picking it apart for 30+ minutes