#also i realized that i completely forgot to post an older fic up there whoops

[mrs-luigi-vargas]

Tonight on 'things I am doing instead of going to bed when I should be (10:30pm)': beefing up the Writer's Commentaries on my Dreamwidth

[fallingin-like]

november 13

don’t bury me (with a coin under my tongue) by @mr-im-fine​ [requested by @jsteneil]

see which other fics i’m reviewing this month! / my review request post!

this is a wonderful fic with urban fantasy, with a lot of the characters as demigods. this was really fun to read and it sucks you in so you don’t realise you’ve reached the end of the chapter until you can’t scroll anymore. this fic is incomplete. [edit: this fic is complete now!]

okay okay first of all, this fic was such a throwback for me, and i think that contributed to why i enjoyed it as much as i did! i remember reading and enjoying the percy jackson series growing up and i thought that you did a great job adapting it with the aftg characters! this was a really interesting read, i can’t wait to see what is next.

some parts that stood out to me:

MATT BEING A SATYR!! what in the world this is an amazing fit for him! love that bit on him saying he hates the fake turf

bless neil being able to take on the birds!!

i find it so fascinating to think of mary having been to camp half-blood. what made her experience so negative? who was there at the time? i’d love to see this explored more in the next chapter (but also it’s so much to unpack with only one chapter left!)

”but. neil has been alone for so long. being invisible sounds tempting enough” !! love this, it makes neil’s decision seem more rational and understandable. a camp where you’re basically invisible? sign him up!!

”he doesn’t tell matt, but there are enough tricks up his sleeve that they manage to avoid any monsters” oh my goodness i am so so interested in knowing more about this and i’d love to see you describe neil at work keeping all the monsters away

woah i totally forgot about demigods being super smelly haha i like the way that you incorporate this into the introductions to all of the characters, teaching us more about them through neil’s perspective

oh wild! kevin already has his chess tattoo! did he previously have a 2 in this au or was it always the queen?

”[kevin] doesn’t look that friendly either” lol what a mood kevin

”the scent that hits him is strong, too strong for this person to be the descendent of just one god” gasp gasp gasp i need to know immediately everything about wymack in this au

”he doesn’t, technically, have a godly parent, but his mother did” oh? i am very interested in learning more about this

”being known, even just to some monsters, was intoxicating” oh neil no baby, why are you like this? (also this is SO in character wow it sounds exactly like something neil would say)

”neil considers his bag. it’s all he has, but nothing he’s hugely attached to.” thank goodness, i always get nervous for neil in the Leaving Behind His Duffel With His Very Important Duffel Scenes and i’m glad that i don’t have to be too concerned for him

”kevin and andrew stand at the doorway, a giant and child next to each other. neil hadn’t realized just how short andrew was, nor how tall kevin was” OH MY GOODNESS I LOVE THIS!!

okay the terrible latin is amazing “their accents are identical and terrible” this is the best. also i really like that you have a common language between andrew and kevin that they think nobody understands

very interesting to have palmetto still as a campus even as it’s a camp/hideaway for the demigods

oh allison as a daughter of ares is so perfect. so much hidden power

”he was yelling about inefficient dishwasher sorting earlier today” kevin!!! this is justs the sort of petty thing i can imagine him being worked up about

”he grew up speaking greek… and he was so insufferable i almost didn’t want to learn it” oh my goodness

i am going to unpack my thoughts on neil’s godly parentage later because there is so much

”together, they push off the side of the entablature, using kevin’s ability to float to the ground” okay 1) KEVIN CAN FLOAT TO THE GROUND WHAT and 2) seems like the pair do that regularly which must be so so bad for andrew’s fear of heights

ohhh boy, you did a wonderful job at describing andrew revealing his ultra protective side 

the coin, what does this represent? (i have forgotten so much of my greek mythology whoops)

”nicky makes a ‘wahoo’ sound” LOL

hhh neil setting of andrew’s warning system? i am so invested in this story

okay time to discuss neil. this is probably my favourite part of this fic, you do such a great job of keeping everything mysterious and leaving me wanting to know more. introducing nyx and whatever nathan is keeps things interesting because i have no idea where you are taking this and i want to know so bad. i’d love to hear of all the powers that neil has from nyx, gathering strength from the darkness, his shadow travelling, being able to escape from situations. and this unknown power from his father “neil has something older buried in his blood” i LOVE this. “spawn of a minor god, trying to hold neil back?” the wording of this was wonderful, somehow it is able to describe how powerful neil is in comparison to everyone else. i cannot believe you just threw in that neil was born in the underworld!! way to end a chapter.

i think your characterization was really great at keeping the characters recognizable, but fitting for this au. i’d love to know what godly parent you assigned to all the characters (even the ones you haven’t mentioned yet). this fic was just so entertaining to read, there’s so much that you’ve done in this chapter and i will eagerly await the next update. thank you so much for writing this!!

[edit: i wrote this review before the fic was completed!! sorry i did not have a chance to comment on the whole fic.]