#also i wanted to put this on my bio but it might mess up my carrd link and i dont wanna deal with that

[azurentinex]

Hi! I read the tbhk having a nightmare, and the dazai x reader who committed suicide, and the writing was so wonderful! I was wondering if you could write tbhk men with a reader who really liked physical touch. Like she would randomly grab their hand and rub patterns on it, or hold onto their arm when they walked. Just harmless little touches (not in the weird way lol)

Anyways, you can ignore this request if you want, but please be sure to take care of yourself!

aaaaaah thank you so much! i’m so glad you enjoyed them :3 thank you for being so nice ^^ i hope you enjoy this as well <33 please make sure to take care of yourself too!! i tried a bit of a different formatting style (just the white borders), and lmk through discord if you want me to change anything! it’ll be in my bio from now on <3 and i’m sorry i could write tsukasa well, i can’t remember anything about him other than his insane bits. mitsuba isn’t really up to par either but i got kind of tired by then so i might rework it tomorrow:3

cw: fluff, (slight) manga spoilers, slight crack in Tsukasa’s part (i’m sorry i wrote this really early in the morning)

and featuring: hanako, tsukasa, kou and mitsuba!

My Masterlists

tbhk men with an s/o who really likes physical touch

Hanako

He was so confused at first, watching you rub circles onto his palm.

But he sort of just let you roll with it and didn’t ask any questions. I don’t even think he would tease you for it.

In fact, he even started to like it. The way your warm skin feels against his, and the sweet smile that appeared on your face.

Hanako would occasionally put out his hand for you, so you could play around with it, a slight blush on his face.

”Here, you like playing with it, right?”

It really just made him feel happy when he saw the way your face lit up every time.

So for now,

before he would have to go,

he would just enjoy the small moments like these with you.

Tsukasa (badly written)

Just like literally any tbhk x reader headcannons, Tsukasa teases you a lot for (literally anything) your love of physical touch.

BUT IM NOT GONNA DO THAT (i’m gonna do it)

Ok, so you really enjoy patting his head and playing with his hair. And he moves around a lot, which really frustrates you.

I’m not saying he doesn’t like it, but he’s just really hard to control.

So you get Sakura to help pin him down while you mess with his hair.

You’ll be getting a lot of complaints from him, I’m sure.

He occasionally teases you for it, but not as often as you might expect.

And it’s probably because he just likes the feeling of it.

(crack) i think he would just grab your hand and bite it

Kou Minamoto

Kou would get flustered when you suddenly cling onto his arm like that!

He won’t say anything about it but he’s feeling really embarrassed.

But that also sort of makes him feel important, like he’s protecting you from something by staying in that position.

Although you clutching onto his arm became a regular occurrence, he would still freeze up when you touched him.

I guess he’s just embarrassed :)

But he’ll still reach out for your hand either way.

Because to him, you’re the most precious person in the world.

And one day, he’ll make sure he’s strong enough to protect you for real.

Sousuke Mitsuba

Hugging him from behind!

He would jump high like a cat the first time you did it. He gets used to it, but he still jolts a little whenever you take him by surprise.

”A-are you being weird right now, y/n?!”

He says that jokingly (of course).

He would hesitantly return your hugs, his face red with embarrassment, and you would just stand there with Mitsuba’s arms around you for a few minutes, enjoying the warmth.

Mitsuba is also an enjoyer of physical touch!

I think he would constantly play with your body parts, with or without permission.

As long as you get to do it, he does too!

[creamecafe]

━ Dating Tangerine Would Include....

SFW Headcanon

Pairing: Tangerine x GN!Reader (No pronouns used)

Warnings: none just fluff. Mentions of love making but nothing graphic. Skip ahead if your not comfortable 🩷

He's the definition of 'I hate everyone except you'

Acts so tough with everyone expect you

Lemon loves to tease him about it

Spoils you a lot

A lot of his gifts are jewelery or trinkets he steals when killing his targets

"Found this beautiful necklace on one of the targets, thought it would look better on you darling"

Spending a lot of time with Lemon, and Tangerine gets annoyed at this

But he can't be truly annoyed at you or even a little bit mad because he's completely head over heels for you

Would kill anyone if they dare to touch in an inappropriate way or threatened you

Teaches you how to use a gun

Is terrified for anything to happen to you or maybe one of his enemies might find you and use you for bait

But you assure him that you know how to protect yourself and he doesn't need to worry

He knows he can tie his own tie, but he love it when you do it for him. He loves your touch; helping him fix his hair, prep his mustache, fixing his collar, etc.

Won't let you pay for your stuff. It can literally be just a water bottle on a Japanese Bullet Train but he refuses to let you spend a quarter of your money

Has your name imprinted on his card and all his bank account on his phone

Showering together is just a must have for him

You help him clean his wounds when he gets seriously injured coming home

Knows how to do hair. Will braid your hair (if you have medium-long hair) or help trim up your hair to your liking (if you have a pixie cut or just short hair)

Loves to keep himself well groomed. He has a drawer of Japanese skincare products that keeps his face baby smooth. Trims his nails every three weeks (Just so he could please you 🤫)

Doesn't want to admit it but he loves doing face masks with you. Pretends to hate it but we all know he'd be into that

Would get matching nails with you (You with colored acrylic nails/colored nail polish with designs and him with nail polish with designs on them as well)

Is a OCD coded mess. This man wants everything tidy; his work, his home, his bedroom.

"Darling, you know I love you. But you make too much of a mess."

• Loves taking care of you after you guys are done making love. Puts your favorite bath bomb in, rose petals,

Thanks for reading! Don't forget to heart, reblog, share, comment on what you think, and follow for more work! You can also find me on Wattpad and my other socials in my bio. Feedback is always much appreciated!

Have a great day/night or wherever you live around the world!

𝐍𝐚𝐯𝐢𝐠𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 | 𝐌𝐚𝐢𝐧 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 | 𝐁𝐮𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐭 𝐓𝐫𝐚𝐢𝐧 𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 | 𝐓𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐞 𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 | 𝐀𝐓𝐉 𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 | 𝐀𝐜𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐬 𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 | 𝐑𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐆𝐮𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐬 | 𝐖𝐡𝐨 𝐈 𝐖𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐞 𝐅𝐨𝐫 | 𝐖𝐚𝐭𝐭𝐩𝐚𝐝 | 𝐀𝐎𝟑

[gabeorelse]

Resource: Writing Craft Masterpost

Okay, so one of my favorite things to do when I'm not writing but I want to think about writing is to study the craft. Seriously, I'm a HUGE writing nerd and learning is one of my favorite parts of the process (besides the actual writing lmao). Below is a list of my favorite craft resources that I don't see recommended a ton but which I've found do a great job of identifying and explaining the nitty-gritty rather than just giving blanket advice like 'show don't tell'.

Ellen Brock's Youtube Channel

Ellen Brock, according to her bio, is an editor who has worked both freelance and in the publishing industry. The resource here is on her channel - TONS of free longform videos that break down structure, character arc, anatomy of a scene, dialogue, prose, principles of revision, anything you can imagine.

My favorite video: Character Arc meets Story Structure. An hour long video explaining how character arc and story structure marry within the 3-Act Structure. I made an annotated cheat sheet/study guide just based off this and it literally fixed my WIP lol.

Susan Dennard's Writing Academy - Free Resources

Susan Dennard is a published author who, disclaimer, I have not checked her books out yet (though I've been meaning to!) but I have found her blog post archive invaluable. She writes a ton on writing craft, publishing, revision, etc, and I've coopted a lot of her strategies, particularly in revision, for myself. Highly recommend.

Unfortunately, it looks like my favorite resource (her revision advice) is behind a paywall now (which, fair, she did a LOT of free stuff over the years), but I might put together a frankenstein version of my own revision method one of these days - it's heavily influenced by hers.

ShaelinWrites Youtube Channel

Another writing youtuber who really gets to the nitty-gritty. What I love about them is they are a pantser/discovery writer and they show, both through their advice and success, that you CAN be a discovery writer and not just end up in a mess of unrevised monstrosity, which is what I feel like a lot of people assume. They also do a lot of videos on writing confidence, process, and mindset which have all been very helpful to me.

My favorite video: How to Become a Confident Writer. This video really helped me get back some of my confidence and love for writing when I was struggling. They have similar related videos, and I basically watched ALL of them at various points, but this one really helped me.

LocalScriptMan's Youtube Channel

Okay, here me out. This one is a bit of a departure. I feel like LocalScriptMan kind of takes on this tough love/tough life advice persona, and I don't mind it, but some people might. He's also focused on screenwriting, but a lot of his videos apply to general writing principles, and I feel like, as with the other resources, he really gets to the heart of the craft and breaks down principles in a way I really like.

My favorite video: it's a tie between The Key to Writing Freakishly Good Dialogue and How to Actually Succeed as a Creative. I really liked the latter because I interact a lot with other authors who are querying agents or have one foot in the publishing industry, one foot not quite there (like me), and his attitude toward success changed my mind about how to approach the industry. His advice is something like 'most people keep looking for that big break, but that's very self-focused. If you want to succeed, help others and make yourself a valuable person, not only to get that big break, but because then you can do what you love: creating stories and working on projects, even if they're not your own'. This is a bit more applicable to the screenwriting community, but I do think overall the best part about writing is not just writing, but community, and I think he hits the nail on the head with that one.

Summary: obviously I am not an affiliate (these people 100% do not know who I am lol), but I get frustrated when I'm trying to find answers to my writing problems and all I get are shitty SEO based articles written by the Masterclass website lmao. So over the years I've cultivated my favorites, and wanted to share them. I hope these help anybody who needs them!

[checkoutmybookshelf]

From Criminial Mastermind to Fairy Tale Hero: The End of Artemis Fowl

Here we are, everyone: The final Artemis Fowl book. It has been a journey revisiting the first series I was old enough to follow and fandom, and it's wild to me that we're finally at the end. Especially since I picked up the first Artemis Fowl book in late elementary school (I'm genuinely not sure when though, because the first book came out in April of 2001, when I was in fifth grade and it's very possible I didn't pick the book up until sixth grade, which would have put me at 11, same age as Artemis in that first book) and the final book came out in 2012, when I was in my junior year of undergrad. So at that point, Artemis, Holly, and Butler had been part of my life for a long time. And now here we are, to say goodbye to them again after this leisurely re-listen/read. Let's talk Artemis Fowl: The Last Guardian.

Artemis grew and changed so much across eight books, which makes sense because holy cow do kids change a LOT between 11 and 15. We get so busy living life in those years that we don't really think about how much we truly learn and grown between prepubescence and full-on teenagerhood, but that is a time of massive change, and I think that more than anything else really justifies how Artemis goes from a chillingly vampiric child to a teenager with enough compassion and empathy to understand that sometimes the right choice is a heroic self-sacrifice for the people that your people (both humans and the people, in this case) love. Artemis also did a really interesting version of that thing so many teenagers do where they hit a point where they can't just phone in their abilities anymore and have to actually put effort in, but for Artemis it was emotional rather than intelligence. And yet even when making said heroic sacrifice, we have the absolutely beautiful callback to the end of book one, where Artemis drugs his mother, Butler, and Juliet to keep them from being harmed by the bio-bomb. To stop Holly from preventing him from stopping Opal, Artemis sedates her. The more things change, the more they stay the same...

Except where best villain ever Opal Koboi is concerned. By this book, Opal is so disconnected from reality that she is willing to risk literally going nuclear to escape captivity, and then just...casually sparks off the apocalypse because if there is one thing our girl wants, it's to be Empress of the World, and if that means using spirit zombies and an ancient fairy doomsday device, then I guess it's a good thing she's already versed in black magic. Or something. Opal is fully and completely off the rails at this point, and if you catch yourself referring to yourself as "Mommy" in reference to the spirits of several scores of ancient elven berserkers who would--barring a geas--murder you for it, you might want to stop and take a long, hard look at your life choices. And maybe don't forget that you've cloned yourself, because that's the kind of little detail that can completely ruin your chances of being Empress of the World.

Holly quite possibly deserves every medal that exists for managing to drag Artemis's extremely out-of-shape butt through increasingly dangerous and high-stakes missions while navigating fairy politics and *checks notes* breaking up with her commanding officer after a disastrous date where they both got kicked out of a crunchball match. (And once again...HOW DARE Colfer leave this in exposition and not show us this amazing disaster of a date!?!?) Holly has also just been through the emotional wringer with Artemis and every time he decided to double-cross or lie by omission to bring off a plan and every time he does something infuriatingly human that drives up her blood pressure and yet makes the mission succeed. And then she has to sit there and watch him die to save humans and fairies. Seriously, the fact that Holly Short is a functional being rather than a hot mess is nothing short of a miracle.

And then we come to Butler. Long-suffering, super fucking over it, broken-hearted Domovoi Butler. Artemis got DAMN lucky that the whole "put my spirit in a clone of me" plan panned out, because if it hadn't, Holly was entirely correct: Butler would never have recovered. Butler and Opal might be my two favorite characters in the entire series at this point. That's not where I started--for a very long time, Holly was my favorite character, and Commander Root still gets an honorable mention--but as a grown-ass adult (I'm not doing that math for you, if you want to know that I'm old, you do the math), I cannot escape how dedicated, competent, kind, and just AWESOME Butler is. I feel like the vibe here is very similar to the thing that happens when you watch Sound of Music as a kid and either Maria or one of the kids is your favorite character, but when you come back to it as an adult, Captain Von Trapp is EVERYTHING (RIP Christopher Plummer, we loved you). Butler has a similar vibe but in a different genre.

So, I was an adult and had enough experience of watching fandoms to see the mixed reactions to this book being released. People were sad the series was ending, people were disappointed because the series had seemingly drifted, and people loved it. My reaction was pretty mixed, because I had a lot going on, I knew there were good things here but I was also kind of missing the heisty, criminal mastermind vibes, but also OPAL KOBOI. So I was pretty unsure how to feel about this book when it came out, and then I didn't reread it for literal years because I went to grad school.

Returning to this book now, I have suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuch respect for how Colfer tied up the series and how he pulled off a new Irish mythological cycle, but updated for the twenty-first century. I have enough life on me to appreciate the changes Artemis goes through, and enough literature degrees to have a new and deeply fulfilling perspective on the series structure. Last Guardian is not my favorite book of the series--it's not even in the top three--but I think that what it does is genuinely impressive and I love how you can finish this book and go instantly back into the OG Artemis Fowl. The story does not, strictly speaking, have to end. And that is a vibe I can 100% get behind.

I deeply love the Artemis Fowl books, and I cannot recommend the series enough. They have so many strengths, are incredibly well-written, and they live rent-free in my head even now as an adult.

[naerwenia]

Nemesis, The Ultimate Weapon - Nemesis x female reader

The first chapter here. This is the second chapter.

I actually wanted to continue my first part to make a more substantial forbidden romance type story, or just go for tentacle smut. But that's next, this is just a small in-between chapter full of people looking at reader who sees Nemesis as more than a weapon, while also being studied at Umbrella after what happened at Raccoon city.

A sight set on the weapon that was put away in a box for safekeeping, a tube full of liquid made to house the body of a weapon. Black strips of leather wrapping the body in a strangely humanoid form; four limbs made of muscle and tendrils, a head elongated and mouth with lips pulled back, a grim expression made only by the teeth as the eyes of the scientists were drawn to them only when looking at the creature they had created. But the girl in front of the tube, hands touching the glass, could not see anything, even when she tried to strain her eyes to imagine the features onto the glass mask put on Nemesis. There was nothing, but she still remembered his features, his skin, his touch, even the more unpleasant parts like smell and anger in his growl. All those made her feel safe around him, like someone who would protect her from the unknown. Even now, being shown him next to a wall, in a lab, without his face visible, she knew he was more than a weapon, more than an asset. She was just a girl behind a protective glass, hoping he could feel the warm touch she left on the glass and the longing she felt inside the heart beating in her chest resting against the cold glass. 

Every day one of the guards and a scientist took her to see the Nemesis-T02, so she could see the specimen was alright. She was told not to speak as it might mess with the monitoring equipment, but it really was because her voice had messed with the orders given to the BOW and they had not come to a working conclusion to know what had done that and why. The doctors and scientists could not even agree if it could mess with the whole weapon or just the parasite even in regenerative stasis, or maybe activate brain functions Umbrella deemed unnecessary. They would not let her undermine the project just because the girl saw some resemblance of humanity in the tyrant, especially when it was almost finished, almost perfect for large scale production and sale. Of course it was a good thing they caught the vulnerability now, but it was such an odd and inconvenient one that it might as well be a major issue in the research. Debrief was done right after the memory chip had been removed and any irregularities mapped, but there was nothing indicating a problem in the organic material or the behaviour of the parasite. So here the scientist was, guiding a girl who might be the only irregularity in this equation, but they were not allowed to take her out or put her away.  

The guard tapped her shoulder, and slowly the girl separated from the glass, still looking up at the creature. The guard had seen the tyrant in action, a weapon was a light word to describe the destruction it left in its wake. The man behind the helmet tried to keep himself away from the situation mentally, but the way you looked at the T02 made him take another look every time, questioning if he had lost a bit of humanity in himself as you seemed to regard the Nemesis as a human too, yet he could see only the vague outline of a human in front of him. It had happened before and it would happen again. The grip of humanity was often lost when following orders, but that was by design and he understood that, especially when dealing with hazardous materials in secretive projects. Still seeing the girl have such strong emotion on her face, a look of longing when in front of the bio-organic weapon, made him doubt his own judgement deep down. 

As the scientist led the way back to the girl’s containment room, the guard followed the girl's footsteps. Short, soft steps that tried their hardest to keep up with the scientist’s pace, but every other step she took in her fluffy socks was a quick hop, only to be followed by the marching pace of the guard. Every step the girl took was at odds with the facility she was trapped within; the warm light surrounding her and the innocent, understanding smile she gave freely to those she came across while her walk more closely resembled a bunny hopping from cloud to cloud, all this while Umbrella had taken her clothes, her identity, her freedom. Left of the south wing, upstairs, behind two labs, the girl was given a white dress and hurried back to her room, only to get inside, turn and smile. There was no malice, no trickery, just patience, waiting to be with her friend again.

The door in front of her closed and locked, multiple locks moving in their place and clicking, and the girl sighed. No matter how many times she told herself she was safe here, that no one was out there trying to kill her, that there was nothing she could do but wait and see, but the lack of directions, clear schedule and mission made her incredibly anxious and depressed, more than usual. She had gathered that there was no way out for her before Umbrella knew why Nemmy disregarded commands in her presence, but she was more worried about him, Nemesis. He had been kind enough to save her from the zombies, but that was apparently wrong, as he was supposed to be a weapon instead of a shield during that mission. The thought haunted her, that her selfish desires had doomed him, but for now it seemed Nemmy was in stasis and taken care of. It didn’t take away the wishes she had for him, for the next meeting and embrace they could share, maybe she would be able to give him the kiss she had thought of now every night since finding herself living here, in this glass house of sterile white floors with walls of frosted glass. Only colours she had seen in weeks were white, black, greens on her plate and sometimes blood.

The girl sat down on the floor and got on her back, looking at the ceiling, feeling the cold floor against her skin. Soothing coolness touched her sensitive skin, she closed her eyes and dreamed: a dream made of tentacles slithering on her skin, around her legs, leaving slime where they had touched her, helping more climb up her limbs. Tightly binding her in place, the tentacles could not help but tie her hands above her head and legs bound together, keeping her there in a desperate hug, not wanting to let her go. No matter how crushing the binding hug felt, the girl just smiled, blushed, and let a tear fall down, fearing this might just be the only way for her to feel him again. 

-----------

So that was the second chapter, I have no idea what I want from this, other than eventual smut and more love for Nemesis. If you have ideas or wishes, my ears are open, just like my messages!

[imagine-a-life-like-this]

Step 7 : Don't Live Together (H.JS)

Word Count : 2.6k

Warnings : swearing, drinking, food mention, body image issues, mentions of sex, angst, heartbreak, a lot of heartbreak, tears were shed, might want to grab tissues

A/N : Sorry that his is short like Changbin's! But I will make up for it with his written series that will be out soon!!! I'm working on the final part of this series, and then I will be releasing the prologue of Perfect For You!!! Also I appreciate everyone that has bought me a coffee or has tried 🥺 I know tumblr is messing with links right now. If you're trying and the one in my bio isn't working, I've heard the one in my pinned post does work! Again do not feel inclined to do so. I appreciate your support via likes and reblogs as well 💕💕💕

            It was another night with music blasting through the headphones in her ears and a tear soaked pillow as she cried herself to sleep. Trying not to think of the girl she wish she could be on the other side of the house, moaning Jisung’s name as he fucks her.

            It used to annoy her, how many girls Jisung brings home. They were best friends, she told herself, him sleeping with other girls didn’t bother her. Not like that. She just wanted to sleep, and with the constant screaming and moaning, dramatics she knows the girls put on just for her, evident by the sneer looks she receives in the morning as Jisung kicks them out and joins her for breakfast.

            And then she found herself comparing the way she looks to each and every girl that walked through the door. How different she was. How her body was a different shape. Her hair looked different. Her eyes didn’t shine as bright. And the tears would well up when Jisung would talk about how beautiful they were.

            She never meant to fall in love with Jisung, it wasn’t in her plan. Living with him until graduation? That was in the plan. Get married at 35 if they’re both single? Definitely in the plan. But falling in love with him in university while he’s one of the most popular guys and she’s practically unknown? Not even a thought.

~

            “Hey Y/n! You still coming to the party tonight?” Chan slung his arm across her shoulders, shooting her his infamous smile that would have any other girl weak in the knees, but she just nodded as she wrapped an arm around his torso, leaning into his comforting touch. “You feeling okay? Your face is a little puffy.”

            “Just a little cry sesh. You know, the usual.” She joked, trying to play off the heartbreak she felt at the sight of another beautiful girl leaving her house this morning, pretending like everything was normal with Jisung when he sat beside her, thanking her for breakfast as he always does. If she keeps pretending like everything is fine, then maybe everything will actually be fine.

            “You know I’m only a call away.”

            “Okay Charlie Puth.” She rolled her eyes, playfully shoving him away before heading towards her first class. Repeating to herself that she just has to keep acting like everything is normal and then things will return to the way it was before. She’ll fall out of love with Jisung, and her life will get back on track.

~

            “I swear his dick is going to fall off by the time he’s 30.” Hyunjin joked, handing Y/n a cup filled with a liquid she didn’t question, just chugged it all back like it was shot, and went to the kitchen in search of more. She couldn’t stand watching Jisung making out with someone that wasn’t her. Another someone that wasn’t her. There have been many someone’s. Too many someone’s. And tonight she planned to forget each and every one of them.

            “They usually keep the good stuff in the cabinet above the fridge.” She turned to see Seungmin entering the kitchen with his hands in his pockets and a knowing look in his eyes. “Just don’t tell them I told you.” He smiled at her before grabbing the bottle of liquor no one else knew about, looking around to make sure no one else was watching them. “Follow me.”

            She didn’t know Seungmin as well as she knew the others. They ran in the same circle and didn’t have many friends outside the guys, but that’s where their similarities stopped. Their majors were different. Their hobbies were different. Even the places they frequented were different, so they really only saw each other during these parties.

            At least Seungmin saw her. Watched her as she came to terms with her growing feelings for her best friend. Watched as her heart broke each time Jisung found a new girl to bring to their shared home. He saw her, watched her. She intrigued him.

            She didn’t know Seungmin, but she followed him outside into the garden. There was limited light, the music was softer, and there was absolutely no one else around. It was just the two of them, and she felt calm. No nerves, no worries. Just her, Seungmin, and a bottle of alcohol shared between the two of them.

~

            “Move in with me.” Seungmin said. It’s been a week since the party. A week since they shared a bottle of alcohol and both of them spilled too many secrets to each other. Suddenly they were attached at the hip the way her and Jisung once were.

            She was complaining while talking to him on the phone about yet another girl he brought home. Said she was trying to study and it was hard to focus with how loud they were being. But Seungmin knew the real reason she was upset. She didn’t have to voice it, and honestly he didn’t want her to. He wanted to believe for just a little while longer that one day she would be his.

            “I just got a new place and I could use a roommate.” He continued, trying to prove that it wasn’t just a spur of the moment decision, despite it most definitely being that. He had just moved out of his place he shared with Jeongin and Felix because he wanted his own space. He didn’t want a roommate. But she needed an escape. She needed to get away from Jisung and all his hookups.

            “You’d really be okay with that?” She asked after thinking about it for a minute. There was no getting over Jisung while living under the same roof, wishing she was the girl under him, listening to him moan her name instead of someone else’s.

            Moving in with Seungmin definitely wasn’t in her plan, but sometimes plans need to change. Especially when you find yourself falling in love with your best friend of far too many years and he doesn’t even notice you by his side willing to give him everything.

            Seungmin was exactly the kind of guy she saw herself falling for when she planned out her life. He was smart and disciplined. He knew exactly what he wanted and he was determined to get it. Everything about him matches her perfectly, and she realized that a week ago while they drank together.

            If she met Seungmin before falling for Jisung, would she have fallen for him instead?

            “I wouldn’t ask if I wasn’t okay with it. I’ll even help you pack.”

~

            “What about all our plans?” She didn’t expect Jisung to protest. She didn’t expect the tears to fall from his eyes, or the way he fell to his knees, grabbing her hands desperately as he pleaded for her to stay. “Everything about me you don’t like, I’ll change.” His voice was barely above a whisper, his words coming out crackly as if coming out of a walkie-talkie.

            Seungmin was watching from the doorway. He had come in to tell her everything was packed in the truck and ready to go whenever she was. But before he could get a word out, he heard Jisung pleading for her to stay. He didn’t want to listen in on their goodbyes. He didn’t want to watch such an intimate moment between two close friends, but he couldn’t look away.

            Neither of them noticed him standing there. As if he was watching a scene from a drama, just an audience member, a nobody, not even a background character. He could see her caving, ready to give into Jisung, just like she always did.

            He took a deep breath and finally spoke up. “We’re ready to go whenever you are.” Both of them whipped their heads in his direction and he did his best to keep the smile on his face before he turned around and went back outside.

            If she follows him, if she chooses to move in with him, he’ll allow himself to think he has a chance to win her over. She wants to move out to move on after all. He can be the one to show her the love she’s always given to Jisung if she would give him the chance to.

            “Sorry. I should have told him earlier that I was moving out.” He shook his head, telling her not to apologize. He gestured towards the truck, asking if she was ready to go. She took a glance back at the house she lived in for two years. Jisung stood in the living room window, watching her leave, still hoping she changes her mind. “Yeah. Let’s go.”

~

            It took some time for Y/n to get used to living with Seungmin. It almost didn’t feel like home at first. Like she was just a stranger locked in a room, scared to leave, scared to wander too far from the safety of her bed. But Seungmin was warm.

            He would knock on her door and invite her to join him every time he made food. He would ask if she wanted to watch a drama with him. They spent their mornings together, drinking coffee as they made breakfast together.

            Slowly but surely she ventured out of her room. She would come home to Seungmin making food for the two of them and she would keep him company in the kitchen. They shared tidbits about their days, laughing over the silly things, and thoughts of Jisung slowly slipped from her mind. She was able to find happiness again.

            But things weren’t so good for Jisung. It all felt like a nightmare he couldn’t wake up from. He would wake up in an empty house, the smell of breakfast he got so used to gone. It became routine to stop by the café on the way to class to grab coffee and a sandwich for breakfast, but it would never measure up to Y/n’s food.

            He got so used to having her around even if she was just in her room that he had no idea what to do now that she was gone. He had hoped she would change her mind, turn right back around, and unpack all her stuff. Hoped that she would at least visit, at least hang out with him. But it was as if she no longer existed. Like she was a figment of his imagination that finally dissolved.

            But he’s seen her around with Seungmin. He didn’t even know the two were close. He knew about her friendship with Chan and Changbin. He knew she talked to Felix and Minho sometimes. Hyunjin had asked her out once. Jeongin spilled beer on her shirt once at a party and hasn’t looked at her since. But Seungmin? He can’t think of one memory of her and Seungmin.

            Sure he’s been preoccupied with distracting himself from his ever growing feelings for her by sleeping with any girl he can. But he still notices everything about her. Still sees the way she demands attention the second she walks into a room just by the way she stands there. How everyone notices her but she doesn’t see it. He knows she sees herself as invisible, not knowing just how beautiful she is. How incredible. How breathtaking.

            She had her entire life planned out. Jisung had always been apart of her life plan, but never as her lover. Never as the one in her heart. And that was fine at first. He was okay with it when she told him about her plan. He accepted it when they promised to get married if they were both still single at 35.

            And then he fell in love with her in high school. How had he never realized it before? She was always right there beside him, and then she wasn’t. But she always came back. No matter how far she goes, she always comes back. She’ll come back again, right?

            “You look like shit.” Changbin chuckled as he walked into class. But Jisung stood from his desk and ran out. “Yo I’m sorry! It was a joke!” Changbin called after him, but Chan just shook his head and pointed to the notebook he had left behind. Still open on his desk, lyrics scribbled in barely legible handwriting. The only thing that was legible was the single word at the top of the page : Y/N.

~

            “Come back home.” Jisung barged into her class just before it was to start. The professor and all the students looked towards the door and the sweaty, panting boy standing there. But his eyes never left hers.

            “You’re excused Miss L/n.” She quickly packed all her belongings and pushed Jisung out the door, shutting it behind her.

            “What the fuck is your problem? You can’t just barge into my class like that.” She could tell that he was barely listening. He had a thousand thoughts running in his head and he needed to get it all out before he could listen to anything else.

            “I’m a fucking mess without you okay? And I’m not just saying that because you cook for me. I’m talking about just living day to day life with you. Coming home and knowing you’re there! Being in my room and knowing you’re just down the hall if I need you. Movie nights. Cuddling all the time. Fuck I even miss when you’re on your period and you hate me one minute and love me the next. When you call me at work just because. When you’re sick and curled up in a blanket burrito and just need me to take care of you all day. I miss it all. I need it all back. So please just come back home. I’ll pack all your stuff at Seungmin’s. I’ll unpack it all too. Anything to bring you back home.”

            It took a minute for all his words to process in her mind. For her to understand what he was saying, what he was asking. And her heart broke. Because even after all this time away from him, living the domestic life she’s always dreamed of with someone else, her perfect someone else, she was still in love with Jisung. She was still weak for Jisung. She would still give into him. “I can’t.” If only Seungmin were here to save her. To pull her away. Pull her into his arms, run his fingers through her hair, tell her he loves her. Maybe it would distract her enough.

            “Why not?” Her teary eyes met his. They were both breaking. Falling apart for the same reason and they had no idea.

            “Because loving you is hurting me.” He reached out for her, dropping his arm to his side when she flinched. All the girls he brought home, all the girls he used to distract himself from the one he wanted, pushed her away. Hurt her in ways he’d never forgive himself for. “Go back to class, Jisung.”

            It was now or never. He grabbed her wrist, stopping her from walking back into her class. Stopping her from leaving him forever. She didn’t turn around, and he knew it was because she was crying, and she didn’t want him to see. “I’m in love with you. I’ve been in love with you since high school. So please come back home. Let me fix what I broke.”

            Slowly she turned to look at him, and he reached out for her again, cupping her face with the hand not holding onto her wrist, wiping away the tears streaming down her face. The tears he caused. Tears he hated to see. Tears he hoped to never see again.

            “Please.” He pleaded.

            “Okay.” She whispered, a small smile on her face. It was enough for him. And he sealed the deal with a kiss.

back to the masterlist

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[viviennes-tears]

Purpose and family (Tom Hiddleston, X reader wife, kids and Loki cast one shot)

18+ blog: It is YOUR responsibility, as a reader, to think about the content that you consume at your own discretion. 

~

A/N:  I took some inspiration from Tom's recent interview on Jimmy Fallon's Tonight show in the end for the title and a little bit of the dialogue from it as well as the behind the scenes dialogue too. So I hope you all enjoy it. 

Thank you to anonymous for sending this prompt and waiting so patiently for it. I enjoyed writing the balance between family life, work family and the fluffiness with the hint of smuttiness too. Also your full ask was very sweet and I thank you for your support of my work ❤️ x

Also for those who don't live in the Uk half term is when you have a small breaks in the school year. Just in case you didn't know that.

(Reminder prompt requests are closed at the moment. Keep checking either the bio to this collection or my profile for when I will be taking them again)

Prompt requested by Anonymous on Tumblr: I wanted to submit a request after seeing your lovely tom hiddleston fic where he and reader are married and have lots of kids so his cast members tease him about it on the documentery tapes and his kids also play some role in the series/movies.

If u r comfortwble can u pls include some fluffy smut and some teasing about making another by tom

Summary: Tom and the cast of Loki give the fans a tour of the sets and talk about their time on the show whilst having a lot of fun. Most of the time his co-stars tease him about the way he messes around onset and the way he acts around his kids when they come to visit him while onset over half term. When filming is all done Tom comes home just in time for dinner and later he tells you that he's been thinking a lot about having another kid.

Warnings: Oral sex female receiving, teasing and smut (mild)

------------------------------

"Hello, I'm Tom Hiddleston and this is the magnificent Ke Huy Quan!" Tom says excitedly as he introduced Ke to the camera and puts his arm around him.

"No, you're magnificent!" Ke says, causing both men to laugh and joke around as if they have known each other for years before working on the Loki series together.

"We're here in Ouroboros or OB's workshop set here in the TVA and we invite you to come and take a look around with us!" Tom says to the camera once they have collected themselves again, as they both extend their free arms out in gesture to the set around them.

The camera then proceeds to follow the pair around as they start to do a tour around Ouroboros' workshop. The set itself is jam packed with many busted up bits of TVA technology, many scrap pieces of random metal objects and OB's tools. Yet everything in the chaos of the mess is really where OB knows exactly where things are, or rather an organised chaotic mess, that's all confined behind a yellow help desk. Whereas the desk itself is littered with your typical office supplies and retro orange computer and telephone that sits in its cradle on the opposite side. There are even little cubby spaces behind the desk that are only briefly seen and houses many of the objects that could be missed on screen, unless someone goes looking that closely like many do for any hidden easter eggs. Also there's a vast network of tubes that are fixed at various points in the ceiling, and are all interlinked into one bigger tub that comes down the centre, at the back of the set. Which is the fastest way for the TVA agents to get their Tempads or other devices sent to OB to be fixed quickly than traveling down to the floor itself. 

Whilst the camera follows Tom and Ke showing off the set they seem to act like children on Christmas Day, as they continue to laugh and become delighted about showing off the tiniest details on set. Some details which they explain that you might miss on screen, but the objects are still there nonetheless. Also in between the two talking about this particular set from the audience's perspective they will see cuts to certain images from a few scenes of the show to see how it all looks in the final cut.

"What's your favourite part of this particular set?" Tom asks Ke after they give the tour around, as they lean against the front of the big yellow desk, while Tom has his arms crossed and relaxes himself.

"Oh my goodness, that's such a difficult question! Every set is beautiful and it's been such an honour to be here....to work everyday has been loads of fun with such an incredible cast and crew! Everyone has been so welcoming to me into the Loki family...into the MCU family, everything has truly been an amazing experience." Ke's enthusiasm was very infectious and his smile seemed to catch on too.

Tom and Ke continued to interview each other for a while longer before the camera transitions into Sophia and Wunmi being interviewed separately by someone off camera. In both interviews they talk about the wholesome atmosphere onset and about what they're hoping the fans will get out of the new season. Of course they both then go on to mention Tom after briefly discussing other cast members, after all without Tom and the fans there wouldn't be a show at all.

"Tom is really great...he's always honest and hilarious. You always find your cheeks hurting from laughing so much." Wunmi says in her interview before the cross over to Sophia.

"Working with Tom is like being a kid again. He's always getting everyone to play games and messing around onset...it also reflects in the energy he brings to Loki. Even when his kids came onto set for a few days during their half term, honestly they had so much the fun...the way he would involve them in the games too, also when you see Loki mimicking the inflatable man in the show, it was amusing to see him with his kids do it too behind the scenes. They really do take after him." While Sophia fondly spoke, clips of the cast playing games and Tom with your kids while mimicking the inflatable man came onto the screen while you stand nearby laughing, it all brings her words to life for the audience watching.

After a compilation of the cast hugging Tom and other behind the scene clips, with parts of different interviews over-layered or inserted in between, interviews mostly about the cast talking about Tom and teasing him. Then the screen transitions over to Owen and Tom being interviewed together. The pair sit comfortably in their chairs as they are interviewed by someone off camera like most interviews. Similarly to the first season behind the scenes they went off on a tangent and it clearly showed they have great offset chemistry still. The last part of the interview focuses on the show's purpose and family.

"Tom is a family man even though we all tease him about how crazy he and his kids can get, but it's very sweet too." Owen says with a kind gentleness, as Tom's cheeks heat up and he chuckles from hearing those words. "Personally I think his other half, Y/N, she's lucky to have a guy like him." He added and felt Tom's hand squeeze his shoulder in a gesture of thanks.

"Yeah, everyone does tend to tease me about it and the fact I can still act like a child myself...but I think when playing someone like Loki it requires that playfulness...that mischievous side of yourself to have fun and Loki has had a lot of fun with his tricks for the time I've been playing him. Although that's what this show is about finding meaning, your identity, your purpose in life...but also it's about family which is exactly what Loki has always been about." Tom says, speaking passionately and fondly of his time playing Loki. 

------------------------------

"Daddy!" Your kids yell in unison, as they rush towards Tom as soon as the front door of the house opens, Bobby closely following behind them. He was finally back home.

"My darlings!" Tom says cheerily, as he crouches down on his heels with his arms open wide and his little ones rushed right into his waiting arms, also he kisses their cheeks in turn. The three of them hug tightly as Bobby bounces around with his tail wagging like mad, but he barks when he doesn't receive any attention right away, causing Tom to chuckle. "Hey Bobbers, I’ve missed you too!" He adds with laughter in his voice as he frees a hand and pats his faithful furry companion.

"Hey." You say softly after emerging out of the kitchen and into the hallway. A smile appears on your lips as Tom smiles up at you before he stands back up to his full height. Both of you then slowly meet half way in the hallway, he takes you into his arms as soon as you're in reach and softly kisses you.

"Ew!" Your son says, causing you and Tom to chuckle and break away from the kiss.

"What? You've seen Daddy kiss Mummy before." Tom says, as he keeps one arm wrapped around your waist as he addresses your son, although your son just crunches up his face in disgust and you both can't help but laugh again. 

"He's a baby." Your daughter says cheekily and your son sticks his tongue out at her for teasing him.

"Yeah well Daddy wanted to show Mummy some love too, alright?" Tom said with still hints of laughter in his voice and you tightly held onto him back.

"Mummy missed Daddy too, you know." Your voice matched Tom's as you spoke to your kids, but you loved how they interacted with each other, you could defiantly see what everyone sees and that's how much they're like Tom. 

After you all welcomed Tom home he then let Bobby out back before you all settled down at the dining table for dinner. Despite you and your little ones visiting Tom over their half term break nothing could beat this moment here and now. You seemed to zone out while watching your family having dinner while talking and laughing amongst themselves, it felt wonderful to have everyone together like this again, a feeling you always enjoyed whenever spending time together.

"Is everything alright, love?" Tom asks softly a few moments later, after he freed up his right hand and placed it on top of yours, caressing yours with his thumb gently bringing you out of your thoughts.

"Humm...yeah-yeah, everything is more than alright." You reassured him as you focused on his beautiful eyes.

"Sure?" He had to ask again. He's always felt the need to ever since you started dating years ago. He's also always been very protective of you, especially how badly relationships have been in the past for both of you, in different ways sure yet you've both experienced similarities all the same too. Of course his protectiveness had expanded when you both had children together, which showed more whenever they accidentally fell down or hurt themselves in any way.

"Promise." You replied before leaning towards him and pecking him on the lips, earning another noise of disgust from your son. "Hey you...eat your dinner." You playfully chastised your son.

"Don't forget to eat your peas now, otherwise no dessert." Tom adds in the same playful way, making your son shake his head as if he's actually been denied dessert, the very same look you've seen on Tom's face before too when denied dessert.

"Eat up then." You encouraged and that's exactly what your son did.

"You too, princess." Tom says with a gentle warning, as he catches your daughter sliding peas off her plate and feeding them to Bobby who's sat beside her. With that gentle warning she put her plate back down on the table and continued to eat all her dinner like her brother. Neither wanted to miss out on dessert.

Much later when your kids are tucked up in bed with Bobby staying in their shared room for the night you and Tom had gotten yourselves ready for bed too. Whilst you brush your teeth Tom was sitting in bed comfortably as he made a start on a new chapter of his current book. He was so engrossed in it that he hadn't realised you were coming back into the room. 

"You always look so good with glasses on." You teased, as you climbed into bed next to him before kissing his cheek, making his cheeks heat up and a chuckle to escape his lips as he turned his attention towards you instead.

"And you always look good in my clothes." He says playfully, after noticing you decided to wear a pair of his joggers and one of his t shirts for bed. 

He quickly marks his page and puts the book on the bedside table before he grabs you by your waist and pulls you closer towards him. You don't hesitate another second, your lips touch his lovingly and sweetly, as your hands come up to hold his face gently. This time you could enjoy the kiss instead of being interrupted, it was a nice feeling, especially as he returned your kiss in kind. When your lips parted neither of you could stop smiling for no real reason at all. Just being together in this moment felt like no time had been spent apart, and your love for each other is as strong as ever, if not more so. Although it didn't take long before you began making out as if you were teenagers again and hands began to wander over each other's bodies. 

"Then again...you look just as good when they're on the floor too." Tom says sultry, with that suggestive smirk on his lips, while he strokes your hair softly and this time you're the one with reddened cheeks. 

However a few months ago you were self-conscious about still having some extra weight on your body after having two kids. Tom had eased your worries though, he's great like that because he still loves you and praises your body no matter how you thought you looked. To say he adores you is an understatement. You often even ask how come you got so lucky to have someone like him in your life and love you so much for who you are both inside and outside.

"Tooooommmm." You say childishly between giggles, as he gets more handsy, also he's being very playful with his touch on your body, as well as kissing all over your face and down your neck.

Tom chuckled against your neck as he continued to kiss down it, the slight roughness of his stubble brushing against your skin, not that you minded it as you actually liked it. He then kissed down to your collarbone, whilst his fingers found their way underneath his t shirt on your body and caressed your skin softly. Eventually his fingers hoisted his t shirt further up your body and his lips moved down to kiss your abdomen. His breath warm against your skin and the slight roughness of his stubble brushes you there now too and makes you giggle. When his kisses trailed upwards his fingers pushed his t shirt up even higher, revealing more of your body to himself, his mouth then latched onto your nipples in turn. He gently sucked and circled his tongue around each of them in turn, while he kneaded your other breast, pinching and rubbing the other nipple before his hot wet mouth switched over. You moaned softly as he paid special attention to your breasts and you felt him smirking as he sucked a little harder and circling his tongue around every now and then.

Before you knew it Tom had removed his t shirt completely away from your body and pulled his joggers down and off you too. His kisses trailed up from your calves to your thighs as his hands caressed your body softly. His stubble scratches you and leaves a slight stinging sensation in its wake. He was just showing his appreciation of your body, treating you like a queen, squashing any ill thoughts you might have going on in your mind again about how you looked. Soon enough you felt him part your thighs, his noise brush against your clit briefly before his mouth latched onto it, gently sucking and humming with approval. His humming sent vibrations up your body and you felt a shiver run down your spine. In return his ministrations increased, his hot mouth around your clit sucked more intensely, before his tongue pushed through your wet folds. He moaned as he vigorously began sliding his tongue in and out of your heated core, your own soft and quiet noises of pleasure escaped your lips, his hands also taking a firm grasp on the back of your thighs as he brought up your core closer to his mouth.

After a while you came all over his tongue and some dribbled down his chin. As he looked up at you after he had helped you through your climax his chin was glistening with your arousal. He then smacked his lips together and licked them clean before wiping his chin with the back of his hand. He just sat on his knees for a bit enjoying how you looked in the aftermath of your climax with a smirk gracing his lips.

"You know...I wouldn't mind having another little pair of feet running around the house. " Tom suddenly says, with his fingers lacing with your own, as he comes to lay beside you now. Neither of you had spoken about having any more kids before, you were a little surprised by him suggesting it, but you weren't at the same time, due to the fact you know he's always wanted a lot of kids. Long before you met him even. 

"You want another one?" You asked, as you look into his eyes deeply while trying to work out how serious he is about this.

"Yeah...I really want another with you, Y/N. You're already a wonderful mother to our little ones and I just...I still feel that need to be a parent again. I admit I miss having to do all those little things with having a baby around, you know? Like teaching them how to walk, how to talk...oddly even getting up for nightly feeding" He says softly with slightly reminiscing laughter about being a parent. "I miss everything about having a baby. Don't get me wrong I love our kids so much, you know I do, yet I can't help but think about having another lately." He adds, his thumb caresses your hand as he keeps your fingers laced together, his expression was just as telling as his words are. He really wants another kid with you.

"I miss it too." You eventually spoke up after letting his words sink in, although it's been five years since your youngest was born, yet you had to agree that you miss everything he just said too. Despite thinking that you'd done having more kids up until now, you knew at that moment you wanted to start all over again. 

Tom's face lit up like a Christmas tree when you told him you wanted the same thing. It didn't take him long before his lips were back on yours. The taste of yourself still lingered on his tongue and you moaned into the kiss as you pulled him closer to your body. He took that as a hint and took off his nightwear while trying not to be away from you too much. The pair of you were all tongues, mouths and hands again, but when you felt his erection pressing against your thigh your body shivered. 

"Let's get you knocked up." Tom says teasingly and wiggles his eyebrows after your lips parted making you laugh. 

He proceeded to flip you over onto your back ready, his grasp onto your hips firmly as he brought himself into position. At first he brushed the head of his cock against your sodden pussy a couple of times, making you jolt excitedly, and a gasp to escape your lips. You thought he was going to be rough with you at first, but instead he slowly pushed inside of you and began to make love to you gently. 

------------------------------

Tags:

@muwuzic @jennyggggrrr @foxherder

Tom Hiddleston Masterlist

Source: @viviennes-tears

[bahja-blix]

😐💀 A Dumbass Appeared (Ask Edition) A post regarding Viv Stans (Part 2)

Before we begin I want to say that I will absolutely not be censoring the person in this for valid reasons. I'll however censor the people who are just regular visitors.

What brilliance unfolds in my ask box? They put themselves out there on purpose "because reason"... I guess?

Reminder This is the Internet, you put yourself out there, your out there forever and if you do something stupid or say something stupid, your idiocy might go viral enough where you get called out so don't expect people to cover you up when YOU did this To Yourself

When I changed my bio to say "Bored ASF, Ask a Goth" I didn't mean be a god damn loser and make up shit on purpose for Bait reasons.

Yes this is real and Yes these were sent by a Viv Stan and it's OBVIOUSLY Bait but I still wanted to review it just for fun because I was literally laughing my ass off and I ain't even high!! 🤣 that And the actual person was Serious about deleting their profile along with taking the time to remove one by one every like and post from their profile which is hilarious. I didn't even make a post at the time and they disappear Anyway 😂. So I had absolutely no option to respond regardless. Lol you didn't think I'd see that but I did LMAO. You took the time to send me this but couldn't take a couple seconds to block me right after so I don't see your profile disappear but I guess you're just that stupid. What stopped you from just deleting your account without going through lengths to type this shit up?

We start with Kona, a boot lickin Viv stan living in denial over the fact that their obviously a Viv Stan. I said I wasn't going to answer this but this is HORRIBLE 😂 How could I Not share!

I love how you literally sat here and took the time to go ""Anonymous"" on the first ask you sent me showing your name and profile only to turn around and send me Another ask and Then another begging to me down on your knees basically telling me to forget I saw your ass 🤣🤣🤣

Omfgfgfggg🤣🤣🤣

I absolutely applaud how you "went out of your way to ALL these critics" like your some kinda Big Dawg white knighting for Viv telling us to "Listen up" because God Damnit "This town ain't Big Enough for the two of us" only to completely disappear off the face of the earth because you knew I saw your ass and you got scared.

I'm assuming you saw my last post where I said "Stick it" when referring to someone else that didn't agree with the helluva boss and hazbin hotel critical community...so you took it to heart and used it in the ask!? Did my post offend you 🥺🥺🥺? Omg I'm terribly sorry that I'm not a boot licking Viv Stan... I truly am (⁠◡⁠ ⁠ω⁠ ⁠◡⁠)

So... you attack Showtoonz for no reason other than *Double Checks Notes* ahh here we go "Having valid opinions" fresh off the table *chef kiss excuse* lol

LMAO they really said "Ass takes" omg no wayyy 😂

I also applaud how you basically said that the entirety of the helluva boss and hazbin hotel critical community an "embarrassment to our democracy" lol where that come from? and that the best argument you can come up with is that "*ughhh* your all "cOnSeRvAtIvEs" like did you travel across time and space through the Internet, see my page, and pretend to get triggered over the fact that I'm p***tically balanced in every direction?? Open minded if you will!? What does critiquing a show have to do with what's going on outside in the world? You do realize a lot of these people critiquing Viv Are in fact Democrats (me included in that spectrum) that Were fans of Viv and don't agree with Viv because she messes shit up on purpose 😂

Love how your one of those people that's obviously too far on the edge who are an actual embarrassment to society because this is the shit you put out there along with the

"YoUr NoT oNe Of Us" argument because what else would you pull out of your ass like legit your literally the type of person that likes to sniff your own fucking farts... Geez

I can't stop laughing 🤣

"One of Us! One of Us! Gooble gobble, Gooble gobble, One of Us! One of Us!" Like I can't. We Dems ain't gonna bow down to you and kiss your ass like your some kind of King so you might as well get over it buttercup

Regarding the last one for Bait reasons you decided to bring janky brained Joe into this... What a legend! You really showed us Dems the middle finger and went "Fuck ALL of You" 😂 Hey pal I'm NGL, but all I'm saying is that maybe you shouldn't be so into your own p***tical fart clouds so much because all that methane n shit will clog up your thinking.

"OMG I've been exposed by my own "Brilliance" in taking down these critics, please don't expose me"

W H E E Z E !!!

this last bits my favorite part

"*Clears throat* "If you disagree with me I'm going to "delete my account"

(Welp I guess I disagree with you :D, have a nice day ^^ Adios!! 🤣) Wait? You were actually Serious??? 🤣🤣🤣

"run to Twitter" with all my problems (because of course your one of those losers) and "bitch" to my two followers that "Will raise all hell" down onto those "Antis" who are so Mean and Negative where my post is sure to go viral enough to take down the entire critical community and reap their rights away from them"

Without any proof, but instead your tail tucked between your legs as you run and hide.

PA THETIC

Managed to get this on the way out. A Viv Stan in denial who's also a hypocrite. Oh but we "anti Viv Stan critics" have "ass takes" and "no valid criticism" You blindly support woomy... The same person who attacked multiple people in our communities for having valid opinions!

Fucking Cringe dude

[midsummerdolls]

Doll profiles for my modern dolls! Since my collection has changed much over the past few months. Under the cut because this will be long!

Most of my modern dolls aren't canon character dolls, and any who are (namely Corinne) are still a little bit divorced from their canon counterparts, because I have fun with extrapolating storylines for my own dolls, and trying to make them fit in alongside their new friends. On to the bios!

Lena Grzegorczyk (she/her)

Lena is the oldest doll in my collection, and therefore I think it's apt that she is my oldest character. She's 14, and enjoys learning new things. She loves to read and draw, and she just got a guitar for Christmas! She is also obsessed with vintage fashion. Her dream job is to work with textiles someday, in any capacity. Lena's favorite color is red!

Tsukiko Matsubara (she/her)

Tsukiko is happy, confident 13 year old! She loves experimenting and trying new things, and her favorite thing she owns is her little science kit. She's fascinated by chemistry, and would love to do something with that someday! For now, she spends her time messing with her camera, and doing fun (safe) experiments in her kitchen. Tsukiko has Ehlers-Danlos syndrome, which often has her using hand-crutches. Her favorite color is turquoise!

Divya Patel (she/her)

Divya is a sweet, caring 12 year old. She is on the local youth's swim team, and she enjoys painting and sewing, and her favorite class at school is art class! She had a blast with the pottery unit. She's not quite sure what she wants to do someday, but she has plenty of time to decide! Divya is half Gujarati, and half Afro-Brazilian. She's good friends with both Tsukiko, her classmate, and Lena, who she met at an after-school art club last year. Her favorite color is light pink!

Andrés Fuentes (he/him)

Andrés is really excited that he made it onto the boy's soccer team. He just came out as trans, and was worried that he wouldn't be allowed to participate. Andrés just turned 13, and in his spare time he loves to play the drums, which annoys his family to no end. He does brilliantly in maths, which makes him think he might be suited to something like accounting, but he hasn't thought too much on the subject. His family is Puerto-Rican, and he speaks Spanish at home. He was also born hard-of-hearing in his right ear, and he's working towards becoming fluent in ASL. His favorite color is green.

Nihkko Lehtinen (he/him)

Nihkko just transferred to this school district this year, and he has found a good friend in Andrés on the soccer team. He's 12 years old, and outside of playing soccer, he's looking forward to this year's school production, which he wants to audition for. He loves to sing and dance, and wants to put those skills to use! His family is Saami and Tatar, which makes him really proud! His favorite color is yellow!

Esme Adrianov (she/they)

Esme is a quiet, stubborn 12 year old. She doesn't move outside of her social circle much, but she deeply values the friends that she does have. Despite being rather shy, she isn't afraid to stand up for her and her friends when needed. They enjoy running on the track team, and they love baking and experimenting with fun, new recipes! Her family is Unangan, and her parents raised her to be really, really proud of that fact. She is good friends with Nihkko, Andrés, and Nanea. Their favorite color is blue!

Nanea Jeon (she/her)

Nanea is a sweet, confident 12 year old! She loves biking around town with Esme, and working in the gardens with her parents on the weekend. She loves to write as well, and she's written a few short stories that she is extremely proud of! Nanea is half Hawaiian and half Korean, and she greatly looks forward to when she can see her cousins, who all live so far away! Her favorite color is light orange!

Amarah Adeyemi (she/her)

Amarah is a friendly, confident 12 year old! She draws a lot in her spare time, and enjoys creating new clothing designs in her sketchbook- it's her dream someday to have her own clothing line! Otherwise, she enjoys maths and history, and she loves hanging out with her friends after school at the park. She's Nigerian, and her family moved to the US when she was young. She grew up speaking Yoruba, along with English, at home. She's close with Corinne, who she met in 3rd grade. Her favorite color is purple!

Corinne Ziyì (子义) Tan (she/her)

Corinne is a kind and resilient 12 year old. In her free time she enjoys winter sports such as skiing and ice skating. After school she enjoys helping around her mother's restaurant or going to the park with Amarah. Her favorite subject is history- she finds it interesting and engaging. She thinks she'd like to go on someday to further her studies in the humanities- her name, Ziyì, means someone who will stand with righteousness, and she feels that it fits her and her goals very well! But all that is a long way off. For now she's happy to spend her time as she does. Her favorite color is mint!

Eloise Gruenberg (she/her)

Eloise is an introverted and studious 12 year old. She loves school- she loves learning new things, and challenging herself. Outside of school, she loves to dance. She finds the movements therapeutic, and it helps her recenter herself. Eloise is half black, and half Ashkenazi Jewish, and her faith is something that is really important to her. She was born with albinism, which affects her ability to see clearly, so she wears glasses and uses a cane when she's out. She finds that brightly colored clothes are her favorite- and she enjoys putting together fun outfits in the mornings. Her favorite color is red!

[andmaybegayer]

Last Monday of the Week 2024-07-15

I've been trying to be more thorough in putting down my thoughts about things in here because increasingly I don't do it anywhere else. Sure picked a week though because I went on a completionist streak for some reason.

Listening: Courtesy of making some muffins, Wet Leg by Wet Leg, who you probably know from their hit Chaise Longue.

it's a good album, very much dreamy alt-indie voice. At its best produces some sounds that are more fun to listen to than the lyrics suggest, good command of phonemes.

Also, a late rec off IRC by proxy from @amiscellany with Literary Mind, a new single from SPRINTS. Big fuzzy guitar on a retro rock soundtrack about being in lesbians with a girl.

I haven't gone through the rest of their music but I will be checking it out.

Watching: Finished Scavenger's Reign which was on the Canmom Animation Night last weekend, I only caught the front end because we started late. Really gorgeous show, if you want carefully considered realistic spec bio this is not for you but if you love That Moebius Shit then it's ideal.

I then rewatched the back half with Animation Night last night! Love to talk to my friends about beans.

The main selling point is that it's beautiful but there is also some very fun body horror and good amount of character. Azi and Levi probably have the most interesting relationship, with Azi being genuinely quite normal and polite with her little robot who is suddenly becoming a person. The very long sweeping views and extended scenes of things just happening occasionally breaking out into bloody messes keeps you alert, you can't get too comfortable assuming some part of the world is safe for the visitors.

There's space catholics? What's up with the space catholics.

Oh yeah, here's the original short that started the show, which was fun to see at Animation Night

Also finally got through the last three episodes of The Mandalorian, which. I really like quite a lot of The Mandalorian. I like it when Star Wars explores its backwaters and odd corners. They keep putting the skywalkers in it. I feel like this might be a way to get us to empathize with the residents of the Star Wars universe, who presumable also groan and roll their eyes any time a Skywalker shows up on the holonet.

The pitch for Book of Boba Fett at the end of the show is great. They killed my guy Bib Fortuna! He didn't do anything to anyone, except for the hundreds of murders! I love this weird power couple of Shang and Fett.

Reading: Finished The Traitor Baru Cormorant and picked up Monster. I am a tragedy lover and so this is great. Baru is in a race to kill the monster she's been digested by and unfortunately she's losing.

I like a fucked up secret political cadre. It's probably the least realistic part of the series but I also wouldn't be surprised to find out that it's also a trap. I mean it kind of is! Explicitly it's a trap for the most powerful people in the Masquerade, finding unusually talented people and binding them up with secrets in service of the Empire.

Playing: Beat Indika which is interesting but could probably mostly have been an arthouse film. I like the styling! It is very Arthouse Film, the weird framing, the somewhat stilted dialogue, you can even see it in the camera work, both in game and in cutscenes. The camera goes on an angle if you look the wrong way, which is very intenional, and there's lots of really beautifully framed cutscene moments like the watermill in the factory.

Is Indika good? I'm not sure. I think if you highly value your money it might annoy you. It's doing some fun things with the interactive medium in a very different way from something like, say, What Remains of a Edith Finch. It's doing movie shit. I forgot that video games could push my GPU that hard though.

Started the Dark Souls NG+, currently just beat the Moolight Butterfly. I would really like to build a dex fighter to try out rapiers, maybe Ricards Rapier, but you really need to have the upgrades to make it put out enough damage to stand up to the increased NG+ HP pools.

Making: Helping a friend put together some furniture, but little else. Fiddled with some music stuff to make new ringtones for my new phone, not that I ever hear those, but I like to know that I have them there.

Tools and Equipment: It's central hot water maintenance week so I don't have piped hot water at home. Reviving the great tradition of the washbasin shows you that you can actually get pretty clean pretty easily with like two liters of warm water and some soap, the hard part is really just long hair, which was also hard for people to manage in the 16th century.

[auckie]

Finished my boys back panel for his new apartment. After it cures more I’m gonna install it, then the drainage layer (which I absolutely don’t need) and then the substrate. I was gonna make the bottom water proof but decided to just go with a protective mat instead. I don’t think I’ll be able to take it apart later but maybe it’ll be like. The last thing I ever move idk. Then Ill put up the UVB, his lamp, I miiiight have a heat mat on the bottom just in case but probably won’t ever use it idk, and finally his giant fucking water dish and ugly bottom hide. Then I’ll see if I can fit some of the roof/side climbing limbs I had planned. Was gonna drill them in but I don’t think the pvc will allow for it. I might try more foam/silicone *and* a bit of drilling, but we’ll see. Then the top leaf coverage (silk plants lol), and finally his giant cork log. I was also planning on putting some tiling over his ugly hide, or just replacing it completely bc he has the wall one plus the log. I also gotta test the weight capacity of the wall log tomorrow after curing. It’s resistant to heavy tugging, and he really doesn’t weigh *that* much but you never know the kind of stress he might put on it. It’s low to the ground so it wouldn’t be catastrophic but it would be difficult to fix. Eventually I would like to go full naturalistic and add plants and bio active substrate. Moving water is beyond my skill capacity/willingness to learn or spend so the static dish will have to do, but I am interested in a mister even tho I know it’s not necessary. He’s been doing well with my humidifier and just some sprays, wet corners, and the dish, but if I do pursue plants it may be crucial. Granted I know scale rot is something people warn about but I figure if I keep it high then I can avoid laden substrate. Plus the drainage layer would help.

I even bought a kitchen scale to weigh him. I was gonna get a temp gun too but that’s kinda absurd since I got like, two different humidity gauges and a temp regulator + thermometer. if I have room I may also try a slight rock border at the bottom of the back panel but I’m not really like. Interested in using foam again, either panel or expanding. Bc it sucks and i despise it. Silicone too honestly, even the aquarium rated stuff which is easier (imo) to get off skin. My dad REALLY wanted to use caulk but I was like hell no. I’ll resort to shelf pins/rivets for support before I try that lol.

I just scrolled up and realized the pic is so dark bc I just turned the overhead light off and didn’t have flash on but I’m so tired and sweaty I don’t care. It’s a cork bark/spanish moss/sphagnum moss back wall but it does just look like a mess of leaves and shit from the pic. I started really clean and then got progressively sloppier as time went on

Here’s a before progress pic SORRY for foot

And here’s snoopert head. He’s getting upgraded from 60 gallon to 120. Tbh if I had the room and money I’d totally have gotten the 240 one

Fuck snoopy

[sparkleboi24]

I need help crafting head canons and backstories for a BSD au I'm creating

I'm working on making head canons for a normal world no mafia no Ada or whatever au. For the most part I'm trying to take canon events and adapt them in a way where they could realistically happen, but for characters with more unknown or vague pasts I'm great for any HCs

Starting with Dazai, Dazai is not an orphan he was removed from his home by CPS when he was about 2. He was in the foster care system for a while, tossed around until he ended up in a home with Mori from ages 9-16. Mori was abusive, so Dazai ran away and lived in a shipping crate for a bit. Eventually he was taken in by Oda, who was a foster parent to mostly younger kids. He was there for 6 months but when he was out with Oda, Oda was killed in a mass shooting.

I know Dazai "improved" in canon after Oda died but I didn't give him a chance for this big long speech and there wasn't any reason for Oda to anyways, so Dazai completely spiraled after that. I have like a whole story written about that. But short things is his alcohol addiction got worse, he often spent days just not moving from Oda's grave and since you see him inject himself in season 5 and pop a pill in season 2, I have him experiment with drugs like fenty, shrooms, and heroin. Not addicted, just trying them out. Dazai is my most fleshed out in the au I'm creating, idk why.

Dazai bullies Akutagawa in school because of course he does.

Now for Chuuya I haven't finished stormbringer so my HCs for him might change. But.

He was also in foster care. I haven't fully fleshed out his life yet and I want some ways to integrate the sheep some how? But he entered the system when he was 8, I don't know why because I haven't finished storrmbringer. It varies from Verlaine killing his parents to them dying in a car crash so. Working on that. Verlaine went to a different home from Chuuya, he doesn't know him well he just hates him. I've been debating between having Kouyou be his sister or foster mother, but since I put Dazai with Mori I figured Chuuya could go with Kouyou and she'd just be a younger foster mom. I was also thinking I could find a way to make them in the same house? I really want the whole betrayal thing where Dazai leaves Chuuya and I thought it could be cool where Dazai left Chuuya in an abusive home to deal with it himself but I'm not sure, would it even make sense for him to have been with Mori?

Chuuya is in college, Dazai is struggling to get by. They still have their personalities obv so Dazai isn't like this sad mopey mess he's just a sad mess who mopes when he's alone and everyone doesn't really realize where he's at mentally

Mori has also fostered Yosano and Q, while having Elise as his bio daughter.

Atsushi and Lucy's backstories are basically the exact same as they are in canon

Akutagawa is homeless ofc, he just moves from place to place with his sister. His clothes are shit and he smells because he never showers so he isn't treated well at school. I'm tryna think if he'd go to college, also he's still got his terminal illness. I'm not sure how his need for Dazai's validation would come out in this au

Ranpo was adopted by Fukuzawa. His life was also basically the same. Yosano was also adopted by him.

I'm thinking Kunikida has a normal ass life with normal ass parents, just too much of an overachiever and on the verge of burnout but not allowing himself to burn out

Poe is rich. He was born rich, he's got money, that's all. I've got for him lol.

I'm trying to find ways to add the rest of the cast, I want to get all the characters in and get them lives and stuff made up.

If you have any suggestions to how I can expand this world I want to write fan fiction on it once I've fleshed it out a bit. Feel free to be like "actually no I dont like your idea, I think this would be better" because I'm open to any criticism on this, I just want it to be good and I'm not stuck on my ideas

[bethanythebogwitch]

Doctor Who - the Empire of Death

This was honestly one the better season finales written by Davies, but that is a very low bar. None of the new series show runners have been anywhere near as good at writing long-running storylines as they think they are. Sutekh was kind of wasted as a villain. He got less to go on than in the original story, where he was obsessed with ending all life out of paranoia that eventually something might evolve that could surpass him. Here he's just a generic bad guy who wants to kill everything for no real given reason. His defeat was also pretty silly. You're telling me that the god who scared the piss out of the Toymaker couldn't get out of a rope? Yeah it's a science rope, but its still a rope. The Toymaker and the Maestro could casually alter reality but the guy who scares both of them is beaten by a hook. Also, Sutekh survives being dumped into the time vortex the first time and the big solution to him returning even more power is to dump him in the vortex again. Brilliant plan. The Toymaker and Maestro were beaten in a way consistent with their godly domain (losing a game and finding a specific sequence of music). It would have been a lot cooler if Sutekh's defeat followed that trend. Use some kind of symbolic defeat of death to undo his actions.

Calling back to 73 Yards without even attempting to explain what in the sam hell was going on in that episode is kind of annoying. You could have tied the blatant magic of that plot into the pantheon, but nope.

The reveal of Ruby's mom's identity was silly. I guess I can buy Suteks thinking she was pointing at him and his paranoia of thinking she somehow saw him resulting in him accidentally imbuing her with powers by believing she had powers. That's not really what the show went with, but I can pretend.

Ruby referring to her bio mom as her real mom was a big oof moment. A real slap in the face to her adoptive mom.

Davies is so obsessed with giving bizarre hints to future stories he's now doing it as a season-ending cliffhanger. "Ooh, who is the mysterious neighbor? You'll just have to keep watching to find out!". Moffat did that too during 11's run and he ended up having too much hanging plot threads with the Silence, church, Kovarian, Trenzalore, etc that he had to slam it together in one absolute mess of a finale. Please don't do that again. That being said, it really speaks to how awful of a head writer Chibnal was that Davies can still write circles around him.

Consistently through the new series the season-long story arcs have been my least favorite part of each season. I much prefer the standalone episodes. The classic show almost never did running plotlines. The only ones I can think of off the top of my head are the key to time and trial of a time lord arcs, the latter of which was so bad it almost killed the show. I would love a season of nothing but standalone episodes with maybe a two-parter or two.

If you want a (in my opinion) better take on the Doctor fighting gods, the Big Finish audio drama elder gods storyline is a better one, consisting of the dramas House of Blue Fire, Protect and Survive, Black and White, Gods and Monsters, Afterlife, and Signs and Wonders. There's some backstory involved, but I didn't listen to most of that and still followed the story just fine. A Big Finish story featuring Sutekh that I liked better than this episode is the two parter of Kill the Doctor!, and The Age of Sutekh, found on the Fourth Doctor Adventures season 7 volume 2 collection. And if you haven't seen Sutekh's debut in the Pyramids of Mars, drop everything and go watch it now.

This season only getting 8 episodes was criminal. Next season better be at least 12. Fucking Disney+. 15 is a fantastic Doctor and Ruby ended up growing on me a lot even after the Christmas episode put a bad taste in my mouth. I do think the show has pulled itself out of the hole the late Moffat and Chibnal eras dug for it. Not saying there's weren't good episodes in those eras, but I do think this season helped bring new Who back to its late-RTD/early Moffat high point.

[starseneyes]

Chenford REWIND - Lucy Chen / Tim Bradford - The Rookie - Season 4 Ep 14

This one might seem a little weird for me to pick out of the pile, but it really resonated with me for a few reasons that I'll get into once we dive into the Meta.

Season 4 is the era of open Tim and Lucy truly sharing in one another's lives at a level they never did before. It's needed for this episode.

So, bear with me because this is more of a "mini meta", but this episode deserves it, I think.

SPOILER ALERT: In the land of Spoilers I doth play! Merriment is to be had for those who partake of said indulgences, but for those who forsake the foreign finds, atrophy doth await. Okay, I can be a little silly because we've done this enough. Spoilers within. But I do try to write without foreknowledge of what is to come.

Everyone versed on the way this works? Excellent! I'm ready to dive in.

"... since I don't know my biological father, you know, it makes it kind of challenging."

I hate these forms with everything in me. And I. Have. Twins. So every time I start them with a new doctor, I have twice as many forms that have to be filled out in the same time as most parents get for one. So, I'm with you, Lucy.

Also, I remember the first time I had to fill out a School Form after meeting my biological father. I was a lot younger, but I remember my absolute confusion. "Mama, am I Hispanic?" "Just mark 'white'," she responded. Yeah... it was an interesting season.

"Wait. Your Dad's not your bio dad?" "Mmnm." "You never told me that." "It's not really a big deal. My Dad, the man who raised me, is my Dad."

Absolutely, Lucy! Blood does not determine fatherhood.

I remember an episode of The Pretender that took the angle of "Didn't I teach you to tie a tie?" and I was a mess of blubbering crazy on the floor because "Dad" isn't owed to anyone just because they contribute biological matter to an insemination. "Dad" is a special moniker.

And, yes, I call both the man who raised me until I was 7 and my biological father "Daddy". Plus I have a step-dad. My wedding was really interesting with three Father Speeches, let me tell you!

"She told me that he was not ready to be a father..."

I do feel for Lucy's mom on this one. My biological father let his friends convince him my mother was lying... so he never wanted anything to do with me.

She had to go to court to get the blood test for... you guessed it... medical history forms, so she'd be able to fill them out accurately for me.

Yeah, Lucy doesn't owe this man anything and neither did her mom.

Wait... did I just take Mama Chen's side on something? It feels dirty...

"Hey, do you think it's weird I didn't try to find my biological dad?" "No. You don't owe the guy anything."

Thank. You. Lucy, if you're not going to listen to me (just like football teams when my Uncle's screaming at them from his couch), then please listen to your husband.

What I also love about this is that we've caught up with them mid-conversation. It's possible they were talking about this in the Shop, but I like to think that it came up between them before. Lucy's comfortable telling Tim almost anything.

For a man who tries hard to keep the Shop a "personal free zone", by Season 4 Lucy has worn him down, and he's beyond telling her to stop.

She's already versed Tim on the fertility fun, so it's completely natural for her to talk to him about this, too.

"The only thing he ever contributed to your life was measured in millimeters."

Best. Husband. Ever. Get this man an award, because he's busting out all the support for his wife while calling out this no-show sperm-contributor on his lack of parental contribution. We stan a man who thinks fatherhood demands some bloody effort.

Look, I love my bio dad and we have a great relationship. But it took a lot of work and a 13-year-old screaming at her father to put down the beer and drive because he was the adult and needed to act like it. Yeah...

"Seriously, I don't know why I bother talking to you about personal stuff." "Mission accomplished."

This cracked me up the first time I saw it! Because, Tim's beyond telling Lucy to stop talking, right? But that doesn't stop him from being a cynical bitch to get her to stop.

She gives him the look, but his gaze is safely on Bailey so he isn't instantly vaporized by meeting her eyes.

"Why don't you give us a list?" "How about giving me your number?"

Tim turns to her and does his little finger point that he did when dismissing her when they decided to ride together again as Gofer and Sergeant.

He didn't need her involved in his paperwork that night so he waves her away. This time, he's waving himself out of his conversation. Also, he doesn't want to be present so he doesn't have to write Lucy up for threatening the guy.

"Sir, are you okay?" "Do I look like I'm okay?" ... "Did you see where she went after she attacked you?" "Obviously not."

Calm down, Timmy, my boy. About 12 seconds ago you asked a man washing his blood-red, can't-open eyes with a garden hose if he was okay.

Neither one of you's doing great in the common sense department, today, so why not back off on the attitude directed my girl's way?

I've seen a small contingent of people claim Tim's changed too much from Season 1. Nah. What we've seen is a man who was at the lowest point of his life finding healing. It's gradual, but it's there.

And we see that the cynical, sarcastic, dead-pan part of him is still there. But it's not overwhelming all the other wonderful, layered parts of him like before.

Also, I speak cynicism and sarcasm, so in that I've found a kindred spirit in a fictional character.

"People suck." "Amen to that."

He's not wrong. Look, there are individuals who can be pretty amazing, but in my experience, people as a whole generally suck. That's why the kind-hearted, compassionate, considerate, empathetic humans matter so much. That's why people like Lucy matter so much.

Because in a hurting world, the hope-bringers matter. They're the ones who light a torch in the blackest night and hold it high for others to see. And as we're drawn toward that light, holding our own water-logged torches, drenched in our tears... we find warmth. We find hope.

The warmth dries out our torches, not erasing our tears, but ceasing their flow. And then, slowly, the spark within each of us returns, and we can then hold our own torches high for the next weary travelers who've lost their sense of self on the difficult trails of life.

Tim's torch is starting to spark, and he can thank Lucy for a lot of it. But, right now, he's reminding us that he's one of us... still not all the way out of the dark.

Lucy twitches her hand at Tim's remark, almost a "Are you kidding me!?", but Tim doesn't see it.

"Is it better to know? Or to not?" "You talking about bio dad now?"

Kitty! My husband says that to me every time I cock my head to the side in response to something he says. It reminds him of his kitties he grew up with.

So, as soon as Tim cocked his head, I thought "kitty!" and promptly erupted into laughter in an empty room like a madwoman.

But I love how well Tim can read her. There are still times he checks in with her with a "You okay?", but we're seeing the evolution of his understanding of Lucy. He's grown in his understanding of her, and right now he knows exactly where her mind has gone.

And how special is it that she's working through this with Tim?

Look, family stuff can be complicated and we've already seen Lucy's issues with her mother. Tim has likely had several earfuls of all this, but I love how supportive he's being of her, here.

He's not telling her what to do. And that immediately throws me to post-DOD when he didn't tell her what to do with her tattoo. There's a consistency here that I appreciate.

Also, I love this growth compared to when she was vetting Emmett. She pretended to talk to Rachel (not this Rachel... but I'll totally be her second Rachel BFF if Lucy Chen, fictional character, is looking for a new BFF). And when Tim called her on it, she admitted she needs to process orally and knew he wouldn't do it with her.

Look. How. Far. We've. Come. Tim doesn't have to be talked into it. In fact, he's the one who drew it out of her when she started waxing poetic Shakespeare style—"To know, or not to know?"

Tim is Lucy's sounding board, now. Losing Jackson was huge. And while Lucy loves Tamara and talks to her a lot, it's not the same thing since there's more of a mother/daughter relationship at play.

And as someone with incredibly odd parent/child dynamics, I'm not judging. Just saying, it's different.

But in the vacuum that stole Jackson from Lucy's life, there will never be someone to fill that space completely. Yet, certain elements transferred near-seamlessly to Tim. Tim and Lucy are friends, and they are deeply involved in one another's lives, at this point.

Remember, we are post double-date, post Tim's father, post Lucy helping with demo, post so many other things that moved them forward in Season 4. Walls were torn down between them.

It's that thinnest veil now keeping them apart. That, and their placeholder significant others because, wow, were we dealing with some dead weight in Season 4, am I right?

Tim tells Lucy to find out the truth, and I love that. He's encouraging her in this endeavor on the same day he told her "mission accomplished" in scaring her off. He's still Tim. He's still going to be a bit of an ass, sometimes.

But, damnit, he's making more and more exceptions for Lucy. And he doesn't even realize it, yet. But we get the delicious point-of-view of watching it happen, and I love this for them!

"The year your mother became a therapist, she slept with a patient. He was your father... I think the shame still eats her up."

Hold. Up. Mama Condescending slept with her patient!? That is one of the rules you do not break. So rather than own up to her mistake, even with her own daughter, she tried to mold Lucy into the model of perfection without consideration for the psychological damage she might be inflicting?

Oh, Mama Chen and I are gonna fight the next time her face appears on my screen. You don't do my girl Lucy dirty like that.

It's totally in-character. Like, it makes sense. But it also hurts. Because "the shame still eats her up". Lucy's mind can't help but wonder if part of that shame is her.

"You okay?"

Hubby knows when wifey's acting off. And he knows it has something to do with her father. So, he's not going into this blind. Tim Bradford is asking Lucy Chen about her state of mind knowing it's personal.

"Personal Life Free Zone" my ass.

"My whole life, nothing I have ever done has been good enough for my mom. Not, not my grades, my boyfriends, my career. And this whole time she has been a total hypocrite." "Look, uh, maybe she's trying to prevent you from making the same mistakes she did."

Oooh, swing and a miss. Tim, you can't help someone avoid repeating history if they don't know history.

Also, Lucy's never gonna sleep with a suspect, which is the closest equivalence I can make. She may sleep with a certain Sergeant, though, down the line. Am I right?

I've wondered for a while, too, if Tim has a soft spot for Moms considering everything he went through with his own Mom. From what we can tell, he tried to shield her and protect her even when he knew things were bad with his father.

My brother and I had a bad string of babysitters when my mother first became a single Mom. She divorced my brother's dad shortly after her mother died, and it was just the three of us.

We knew how bad it was. How hard it was for her to find good sitters. When we finally found a decent one who would let us stay over at her place when needed... we hid it from my mother when she and her husband got into a physical altercation in front of us.

I was about 7 and my brother was 3. He didn't quite understand what was going on, so as my Nanny ripped us out of bed and drove around town half the night looking for a place to stay... I distracted him. I played games with him.

And as we fell asleep foot-to-foot on her mother's couch across town, I was satisfied to know he didn't understand what was happening. I managed to protect him.

And I protected my mother, too, by not telling her. Because I wanted to shield her. I didn't want her to have one more thing to worry about.

Tim strikes me as a kindred soul in that. So, he looks at Lucy's mother and doesn't quite see the whole picture. After all, he hasn't even met the lady... yet.

Oh, but when Tim Bradford meets Mama Chen and sees the bullshit she puts Lucy through? He's gonna have his wife's back and it's going to be a glorious minute twenty-five of television that I will play on repeat to my heart's content.

"Or she resents me for reminding her of the one time in her life that she messed up."

There it is. The shame. Is that why Mama Chen is always ashamed of her? Lucy has to wonder.

"Lucy, it's..."

No, phone. Not now! I have never wanted to chuck a phone out the window so badly as I did when Lucy's chirped just then.

Because Tim Bradford knows a thing or two about a parent who makes you feel ashamed of yourself. And I really want to know what he was going to say.

One of y'all better have a fanfic to fill in the blanks because, whew, if I find Lucy's phone alone in a back alley, one of us isn't coming back.

Yes, I know I have a beef with an inanimate object and that the whole bloody thing's fictional.

But damnit, I want Tim to have the opportunity to speak love into Lucy's life as often as possible and that. phone. killed. my. dream.

"Patrick Walsh. That's my father's name." "Well, I mean, at least it's not something weird like Dilbert." "You mean like the cartoon character?" "Someone named their kid Hashtag. You never know."

I love this. Tim falls into their natural rhythm, and Lucy goes along with him. It actually coaxes a smile out of her, which is what I think he was trying to do.

Awww, our babies have graduated to responding to one another's needs wordlessly. I'm so proud of them!

"So, what are you gonna do?" "Find out the truth."

She's echoing Tim's exact words to him, which I love. But I also love that Tim is driving this whole conversation.

Mr. "Personal Life Is a No-Go On The Job" is the one coaxing this out of Lucy. Because he knows her well enough to know that she'll stew on it, otherwise. If he wants her focused on work, he has to get her through those personal blocks by talking it out.

This whole episode is a love letter to Tim's understanding of Lucy and how far they have come. Yes, he gave her a little trademark Tim at the top with his no-nonsense assessment of ejaculation's lack of causality to actually being a parent.

But, throughout this episode, he's been the one driving the conversation. He's been the one drawing her out. And he's been the one supporting her in this, which is huge.

They. Have. Come. So. Far.

"He's dead."

I can't even imagine. All of these scenarios Lucy built up in her head, and they're just gone.

I met my Dad at 6. He got clean when I was in my 20's, and that is when we truly bonded. But I've had friends meet their biological fathers into their 40's. It was a wild ride.

And though Lucy loves her Dad (the one who raised her), she was curious about this man who fathered her.

A girlfriend of mine was fascinated when she met her biological father and found out he was an artist... like her. It was so cool for her to connect those dots, even though she still recognized the man who raised her as her real father (because blood ≠ "real"). There was a piece of her that she'd never seen in another human, before, and that was cool.

Lucy will never have those moments. And wanting them doesn't mean she loves her Dad any less. She simply wanted to meet the man who fathered her, to know that piece of herself a little better.

"Maybe I should have tried to find him sooner." "Maybe, but he's the one who made the decision that he wasn't ready to be a parent. Whatever he did with his life after, it's not on you."

All. Of. This. And you can tell Lucy's not completely convinced, because what kid is? Yes, Lucy is a grown woman. But when it comes to our parents, we'll always be their kids.

Lucy hasn't had the best examples of functional relationships. And, frankly, neither has Tim. Neither of them know what it looks like to really work through.

We can argue that Tim was married before, but that didn't work out. For a million reasons, it didn't work out.

And this whole "egg" thing started because Lucy's Mom wanted to be sure she'd have grandchildren even if Lucy never found the right man. And that led Lucy down the path to finding her birth-father... only to find out he died. alone.

If she had reached out sooner, could she have changed that? And, Lucy, honey, I know that "what if" game oh so well. It never ends if you keep playing it. So, you have to step away.

And, you. Yes, YOU! Don't play the what-if game. None of us can change our pasts, but we can shift our paths.

Our past is written, but the future's as twisty and turny as my kids' favorite board game. Lots of options. Lots of opportunities. Don't limit yourself because of the past. Don't "what-if" your life away.

Do what you can with what you have, and bit-by-bit, you'll build a new life. One breath at a time.

As always, thank you for reading. See you on the next!

[friendshapedplant]

[Video Description: Portrait video of Atticus dressed in cosplay, specifically Dracula from Hylics and Biker from Hotline Miami, as it shows off Cosgears Cosplay Planner App. Screen recordings of the app are also often used, showing off certain sections as they are brought up. Lo-fi music plays in the background. /End VD.]

Oh yeah I got hash tag sponsored to share about this app I use alot :0 Gettin paid to share this but tis all my own words and thoughts and experiences.

Aforementioned link since Tumblr doesnt work like Insta and I primarily made this for Insta lmao

Transcript and additional description details of the video under the cut!

Cosplayers! What are your methods for tracking and planning your cosplays? Notes app? Notebook? Spreadsheet? Your brain? (How do you manage?) If I may propose another tool, Cosgear's cosplay planner!

[Dracula cosplay pops up, poses to emphasize curiosity and then demonstrates examples.]

This website and app have been in development for around a year, and I've been using it just as long. Its honestly my favorite way to organize my processes. You've got a section for your basics, like the character, series, budget, and deadline, and of course a place to put your tasks like what to buy and what to make. I love that the tasks can be organized by what part of the cosplay it pertains to, like weapon or helmet or pants, whatever you want! Theres also a nifty view for just the things you need to buy, ideal for shopping trips so your list is all in one place.

[Dracula scrolling the app, some screen recordings as well.]

I've been using this app to help me work on Biker from Hotline Miami. Being able to go step by step through each piece has been so satisfying, and I can store progress photos in the app as evidence of my work if I were to ever do a cosplay contest! (Which I might be we'll see)

[Teaser of Biker cosplay from the back, shows off specifically stuff with Biker in app.]

Another fun thing you can do with those progress photos? Theres a built-in social media feed where you can post your progress, including sharing your techniques and materials! Progress photos on Instagram can be hit or miss for engagement, but in a place built around progress, it makes sense to have, and I've found some real neat work!

[Scrolls personal work in progress posts.]

On your profile, each cosplay has a page, where again you can add materials and techniques, as well as share links and even your shopping list. Good cosplayers don't gatekeep!

[Cosplay page for Biker, shows mentioned features.]

Or if you don't want to mess with any of that social media stuff? Totally fine, it's all optional. Cosplays can be made private, the Planner is your landing page, and hype can be hidden.

[Scroll profile and cosplays, shows hype hide setting.]

Final thing, this tool is constantly being updated and worked on. There's ocasional bugs and maybe theres things you'd like to see that aren't already around. There's a discord server for that! The Cosgear team is super open to suggestions and because of people like me, the community reference library requires sources for its images.

[More cosplay scrolling, show off references library for Link from Legend of Zelda.]

And I didn't even get to talk about the reference libaray! There's so many resources built into the app to try and make your process as streamlined and convenient as possible. Why not give it a shot? I'll have a link in my bio, go give it a look!

[Scrolls posts again, final shot is Dracula cosplay waving phone with cosplay plans at the camera.]

[liauditore]

tw dysphoria (i guess?), abandonment issues (it always when we talk about jimmy), just rambling about jimmy not being a toy but being dysphoric about it

(you can just delete it before reading if it could trigger you)

in my head all this "jimmy is a toyyy!!!" arc was not about haha toy story and let's ignore how they could know about it, okay, it's like how scott doesn't remember pearl and jimmy just OMG MY RANCHER, OMG SCAR, OH NO, GRIAN and yeah yeah yeah

you know that thing when everyone bulling person and calling them, for example, "monster" and they are like, well, a lot of people call me that, i should conform (megamind basically). that's something similar, everyone call jimmy a toy (which he's not) and he's starting to doubt if he's a human. everything joel did to him (or its all hallucinations or joel really can control it and make jimmy toy for some time) just making worth. jimmy wasn't a toy, was he? (in my headcanons sheriff jimmy it's cod jimmy that decided to try again but absolute opposite of what he was.)

and because of green also making hallucinations for him (i hope you knows green something like origin, you can find it something in romeos blog, i wrote about it a little), jimmy is really can't really say if he's not a toy. he doesn't want to belive it and we can see it in dialogues with scar, that jimmy refusing to be a toy, an action figure, everything besides who he really is.

i can imagine him, avoiding mirrors and reflective surfaces, so he won't see himself. i'm really inspired to write it all bc of cavetown dysphoric, it's so jimmy for me

it's been over a year now

i thought it was the end

but now i don't remember comfort

because what i am is what i'm not

i don't belong here, it's just hopeless

find me a way out

if you love me at all

don't let me hear what they say

cuz i can't stand it every day

i'm thinking that i should leave now

but i don't i think i'm coming back this time

it's killing my heart.

and scar was the only one who doesn't call jimmy a toy like 90% of their time together. jimmy knows that scar will leave, like his rancher left him, like emp1 scott left him alone with problem with cod father head and yeah yeah yeah....

i don't know, i just woke up and my brain wad like good morning, honey, it's time to make people suffer

- 🔥

angst?? for me??? 🥺🥺👉👈

HKDHKHLADH SCrEAMING,, putting thoughts under the cut cus i already know its gonna get Long but hkhlkfdhjk

OuGH i love this 😭😭😭 although the megamind comparison kinda sent me lmao

side note i am. into very disturbing and messed up themes so you'd have to try very, very hard to upset me. so go wild in my ask box lol (i do have a good chunk of ppl who just have 'minor' in their bios following me tho so i might not respond to smth if i feel like it's 'too far' or hide it under a cut but yeah)

^realising this sounds like a "i am very badass" thing but i swear i just think stuff is cool 😭😭😭

BUT ANYWAY ouhfhkl mind break and objectification my beloved. i love taking the toy bit in an angsty direction cus i'll be honest i never really found the humour in it but it's TASTY recontextualized.

Jimmy's got a lot of fight in him but I'm just thinking maybe one day it all becomes a bit too much and he just.. goes limp in his seat, eyes glazed over, motionless except for his chest rising and falling with each breath. Someone (maybe Scar, since we're doing Scaridarity) finds him and is like "Hey, what's wrong? You okay?" and gets no response.

Scar would probably be somewhat uninitiated on the whole toy thing and be puzzled but I'd think he scoops Jimmy up and takes him somewhere safe til he recovers. and when he finally gets up he has a bit of a panic attack about what is real.