#also just generally stressed rn

[nekrophoria]

Oc Deep Dive Questionaire - Mel

Thanks for the tag @nocturnalazure @drawing-way-outside-the-lines and @bool-prop💙

Under the cut, cuz long.

What uncommon/common fear do they have?

He's afraid of horses. I'd say in his case it's a legitimate phobia, they freak him out like nothing else. He's also low key scared of water, especially calm lakes and water surfaces. They make him uncomfortable.

Do they have any pet peeves?

People who interrupt others or talk over others, that always bugged the hell out of him in school.

What are 3 items you can find in their bedroom?

His plushie fox, Cory, a notebook and his violin, that he keeps dragging around with him for some reason despite not playing anymore.

What do they notice first in a person?

The voice, he's got the habit to only half look at people he doesn't know well so it's the main thing he notices about em.

On a scale of 1 to 10, how high is their pain tolerance?

Depends on how you define pain tolerance. He personally feels like his tolerance is way lower than average At least it used to be. He would cry a lot as a kid whenever he got physically hurt. Way more than most other kids his age. By now he feels like he's at least fairly good at hiding when he's in pain. And his pain tolerance is quite high when it's pain he can control, like self inflicted pain.

I'd say it's a 6,5 for the most part

Do they go into fight or flight mode when under pressure?

Flight for the most part

Do they come from a big family/are they a family person?

He doesn't really have much of a family left, his mother is dead, his presumed father left when he was young, and he never met any of his extended family on either side.

The people he considers family are Serena, Roy and Roland, although those relationships are...complicated for him as well.

I don't think he values family quite as much as the average person, found family or not  doesn't make that much of a difference to him in that case.

What animal represents them best?

I'd like to say a fox, cuz it's his favourite animal and kinda tied to him story wise, however deep down I know the animal that represents him best is this fucker:

The Aye-aye.

What is a smell that they dislike?

Disinfectant. Long story short after his latest trip to the ER, smelling that stuff makes him nauseous as hell.

Have they broken any bones?

Surprisingly not. He's sprained his ankles a couple times though.

How would a stranger likely describe them?

....I've got no fucking clue to be honest.

Are they a night owl or a morning bird?

Let's just say he's more likely to be up late than to wake up at a reasonable time.

What is a flavor they hate and a flavor they love?

He generally doesn't like earthy flavors, like beets or mushrooms. He loves chocolate, especially mint.

Boom, surprise birthday party! How do they react to surprises?

First reaction in his head: Fuck. Fuck. FUCK

He'd try to play his initial shock off and pretend to be happy about it, although not very convincingly.

Later he'd probably try to get away without anyone noticing.

Do they like to wear jewelry?

Technically yes. He just can't be arsed right now.

What are two emotions they feel the most?

Guilt, although he can't fully pinpoint why.

And emptiness, plain and simple.

Do they have a favorite fabric?

He likes fur, but preferably fake or on a living, breathing animal.

What kind of accent do they have?

He's got a Teesside accent. Think Jamie Bell with his accent dialed up a bit.

To be fair though his accent can also switch a bit depending on whom he's around. He's pretty good at imitating accents and tends to adapt to people subconsciously.

Do they have neat or messy handwriting?

More on the messy side i'd say?

Idk, you'll be the judge of that.

[fumifooms]

You’re the resident chilchuck expert, so I was wondering about it there’s any canon evidence that he did smoke or drink alcohol when the kids were younger. I always thought it was something he picked up due to the strain of long jobs, when the kids were already older, but you seem to think differently and I was wondering if there was anything in canon that made you think that way!

Now that you mention it I guess it’s true there’s no evidence he did. Smoking we literally only know he does at all because of one post-canon panel where he has a pipe, so no, maybe this stick-looking thing in the panel below too though, I’m not familiar with medieval blunts eh. We’ve only gotten one panel of him and his daughters interacting when he was younger so that’s not too insightful on that end, and every time we see him young and freckled it’s in a job context so again not really where we’d expect him to be drinking. The earliest proof (/heavy implication since we don’t see inside his cup I guess) is 3 years before canon when Laios hired him, where he’s at a bar, classily placed in front of all the bottles ✨

Yes alcohol is almost certainly a way through which he copes especially with stress, so if we go with the theory he started around when work got stressful, well… Chilchuck started working as a dungeon diver ~10 years ago so when he was ~19, making Mei, Fler and Puck ~6 and ~4 respectively, so from that draw the ‘stressful enough to start drinking’ line wherever. We don’t know what he did before that with any certainty, and it could be he did odd jobs, lived off mostly mutual aid and community work, or just focused on only raising the girls. Half-foots tend to be poor and I see a lot of that in Chilchuck specifically so I don’t think he could have afforded to not have some paying work though.

Alright, so then why do I think he did drink when the girls were younger?

I give a more complete rundown of the info we do have on his alcoholism & his family with panels and references + all the speculation I make from it here. But the most targeted and objective answer I can give is:

Of course there’s just very very little we know of Chilchuck’s life with his family, and I think that’s by design too. I think the details being up in the air is to allow more nuance of the topic, like, will trying to reconcile go well, is their relationship salvageable? We don’t know, because we don’t know. So the message of giving hope a chance even if it’s a long shot, that things could truly go either way, is more relevant, impactful and meta in that way. How long was he usually away for work travels into dungeons here and there? How did he act with them? All we can really do is "it’s likely that", it’s a game of which way we think it’s more implied. There’s no right and wrong answer, it’s all Marcille-like larping the events out.

My main reason for thinking he did is that his father died from overdrinking and Chilchuck is very aware of that. He mentions his death casually in the extra about their stance in alcohol and in his Adventurer’s Bible profile, etc. He acts towards the alcohol presumably the same way his father did: with abandon, uncaring for the health effects, probably happily too considering Chil says "dying doing something you love is a good way to go". Very nonchalant. So you see what I’m saying here right, wether he started early or late, his view of alcoholism is very influenced by what he saw of his father growing up, it’s something he’s always been aware of and saw in a mostly positive light, something that was inherited you could say. It’s something that was normalized to him from a young age. Regardless or where it goes from there I do think this part is pretty inarguable. If he views it positively and we know that in the present alcohol is his favorite food that he loveees, why would he have held out on it? Personally that all makes me think he started drinking very young, especially since I don’t think they limited alcohol to age as much as modern standards (and I mean, teen drinking is obviously still a thing). And here you could argue, maybe his father only started being more alcoholic later when Chilchuck moved out, or something! And to that there’s nothing I can say except I think that’s a strained theory, and that Chil might even have largely cut contact with his family after moving out (since he and siblings are listed as almost strangers and he doesn’t seem to have much emotional attachment to his parents, but also we know he rents out his place to "a relative"), but it’s true we have no evidence. "I’ve picked up the same unhealthy substance abuse as my father haha! No big deal right haha" repeated several times to me just reeks of intergenerational trauma, & the alcoholism gene as they call it. Like effortless sliding into drinking as if it’s second nature, it’s natural after all, it’s normal after all, it just makes sense, it makes you feel good and that’s what matters.

BUT from my interpretation then we have a whole other layer: Alcohol is of course not all bad always. I think he’s always liked alcohol and drank it on occasion and it brought him joy etc etc, but I think here the implication in the question is, how much effect did his drinking have on the family relations and how early? And that isn’t so much about when him drinking started but when the alcoholism started. Addiction is defined by a habitual need, that has negative effects from filling that need (physical, psychological, social, etc) and negative effects from withdrawal. If Chilchuck drinks to cope and he can’t not cope without it, that’s addiction, if it affects his relationships, if it’s a need he has, it’s addiction. Addiction can be very insidious or look very casual, and how much people around the person are affected by it is case by case. Cheerful drunks can be sooo annoying and uncomfortable though let me tell you. Drunks are drunks. And this sounds harsh, but even if people around them don’t mind drunks it’ll still have some effects here and there, living with one can be such a challenge, ily drunks good luck with everything much like Chilchuck you deserve good things 🫡　

Ok so with the dad thing and the "ok well maybe he’s always drunk casually but it grew worse with time around when he started working as a dungeon diver" precision made, the other bit of info we have that can inform this is that Chilchuck is on a harsh diet and that alcohol is a hunger suppressant. We know Chilchuck "used to be fine not eating for two days", that literally on screen to quench his hunger so it doesn’t keep him awake he goes to drink water, drinking is his instinct to hunger. Again alcohol is a hunger suppressant and if you want info on that the internet has a lot of research and anecdotes about it. He diets to be light enough to not trigger traps, so it’s something he’d have started after dungeon diving most likely. Between the stress and the diet, yes it’s extremely likely he started going harder on alcohol after he started working in dungeons. There’s arguments on wether two days without eating is less bad for half-foots than humans, but apart from smaller portions there’s nothing that indicates half-foots should get less than 3 meals a day. They need less food but that’s because their bodies are smaller: the need is proportional to the body, not smaller than others’ races, the % of need is similar even if the kg amount of food isn’t. There’s also a popular headcanon with support basis that half-foots run hot and have a faster heartrate and whatnot, and that points towards a faster metabolism rather than a slower one: a bigger need for eating rather than a smaller one. He has the same bmi, 18, as Mickbell, but perhaps because Chil is much taller he’s less intensely visibly underweight with ribs showing than Mick during the bath extra, it’s most apparent when he becomes tallman.

Alcohol is something so important and omnipresent in his character that I have trouble believing it’s something that was part of only a small fraction of his life. It’s his immediate go-to, his no-brainer solution to a good time, I’ve sort of always assumed especially after looking at his family that it’s something he discovered decently young. Like he just acts like someone who’s always had alcohol to fall back on and started young idk. Alcohol is one of his 5 keywords. Alcoholism is very ingrained into his world view and life, his "it doesn’t matter" stance his ‘work hard play hard’ mentality his idea that the world is harsh so you get relief where you can, so it just makes sense to me that it’s always been in his life, if not actively then at least looming.

So yes, in summary, my take: Alcohol was always something he wholly enjoyed to an unwise level, but it could have been considered casual until he started working into dungeons and his need for it on a regular basis intensified. Alcohol has always had positive association to him as far as we see, so when it started being a problem he didn’t see it as such. To quote him, "I drink anytime I get the opportunity to". Why always? Approval of father’s alcoholism. Why alcoholism at all? Diet + stress & coping mechanism & emotional stunting + relationship issues, and she decided she had enough after they went out for drinks.

Conclusion

Chilchuck having drunk from a young age makes sense to me and it’s the strongest narrative angle I see on the table, but that’s objectively a me opinion, yes! There’s no evidence, moreso there’s canon basis and supporting info, but it’s all very left up to interpretation. I’ve made my own interpretations of things from the scraps we see, like everyone else making Chilwife and daughters content. Wether you have a stance on the topic or prefer to leave it vague in your takes, it’ll be a matter of what you think makes most sense, or what you’d rather believe I suppose (which is literally fine)

There’s a lot of subjectivity in even just setting up causal links like you probably noticed during this and I was careful with my word choices, because we’re just extrapolating from what we see and unless Kui states it explicitly from a reliable mouth all we can do is have informed opinions on most things. This particular interpretation is influenced by other details I’ve come to form about my interpretation of Chilchuck too, the more psychological and emotional sides of him and the timeline and how his marriage even happened, unplanned pregnancy imo. Like I hope you see what I mean, this wasn’t supposed to be a speculation post just a quick simple answer but there’s sort of just no other and concise but complete way with the subjectivity nuance to put "maybe it could be yes because of this but maybe it could be no because of this" haha

Edit: Wait the phrasing on this… Interesting. "In recent years"— This does imply that if not just his alcohol consumption increasing then the diversity and quality of it did, so either he indeed did start drinking more (not necessarily meaning he didn’t drink before) assumedly because of his wife leaving, or he started drinking other/more different kinds of alcohol maybe due to the union he formed + his experience gave him greater salary than he had previously (and no wife and family to provide money for), a mix of both perhaps.

[semiotomatics]

who up feelin dissatisfied w life

[deityofhearts]

anyways thank you to my friends for letting me occupy a space in your heart <3

[starlooove]

In another universe Gavin king got to play Orpheus on broadway and had the time of his fucking life

[rearranging-deck-chairs]

hes cute when he thinks hes about to be murdered

[snallavanta]

i am way too stressed as a bitch who does nothing all day

[seekingthestars]

sometimes i get the General Melancholies and i hate it a lot

[slowparts]

job making me feel like highkey insane today. i am biting and gnashing through the bars of my prison. i don’t care that im making money let me outttt

[wimsiecal]

I really wish people would stop labeling me and accusing me of shit. Like shut the fuck up dude you can't call me something I haven't outright said that I am because that's MY decision if I want to use a certain label or not. Not yours.

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[tacticianlyra]

First of all, I know next to nothing about the big servers due to the fact that my brief time existing in the main server for more than news was PROFOUNDLY negative, and that's discouraged me from trying to join more, but my overall opinion of the shippingcontainer is now "Ew"

Sucks that who's pretty much the face of the cherrybomb ship is involved in a bad way, because that's probably going to taint that ship for a lot of people after this.

Second of all - the fact that someone was legitimately hurt by all of this means this has to be taken seriously. Unfortunately, the masses of Tumblr are incapable of doing that, in favor of blind rage and death-threat-sending.

Yeah, I don't think the RW community is going to survive this.

[loverofallthingssmart]

starting my first ocean vuong book…kinda nervy

[kimtaegis]

hate to say it but july kinda sucked

[reikunrei]

:/

[spaceagebachelormann]

. everyone ignore this i just need to scream at myslef in the tags for a sec

probably gonna delete later