#also just wanted to say | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

twistedappletree · 11 months

Note

Hi there! I recently followed you from AO3 and love your fics so much. ‘Love You When You’re Such A Mess’ was so cute with the drunk juniors and I was wondering if you plan on writing more drunk shenanigans with them? Zhuiling or otherwise though I do love zhuiling haha! Anyways, just wanted to show some love and thank you for the wonderful aspec fics 💜

Hi hi! ✨💕🌸

Sorry it took a while to get to this but thank you so soooo much?!?! I’m so glad you like my fics omg 🥺 I’ve actually had a drunk zhuiling + junior ficlet sitting in my docs for a hot minute and this ask inspired me to finish it so this is just for you, friend!

Short, sweet and 100% ace.

🖤🩶🤍💜

Lan Jingyi slammed his jug of wine onto the table. “New game! We drink every time Mistress Jin complains about one of my ideas.”

Jin Ling glared at him and smirked arrogantly. “So we drink every time you say something stupid? Got it.”

Ouyang Zizhen quietly watched their fiery exchange and frowned. By these terms, they’d be passed out in less than an hour. He’d switched his own wine for tea some time ago and was already the most sober out of the bunch but Jin Ling and Lan Jingyi had been drinking the entire time.

“Fine,” said Lan Jingyi, flashing a challenging grin at Jin Ling. “We’ll just drink.”

Jin Ling leaned his cheek against his palm and quirked a brow. “And?”

“Whoever passes out or throws up first loses, of course.”

Jin Ling rolled his eyes. “What kind of a game is that? So boring.”

“Complaint!” Lan Jingyi took another swig of his wine and grinned. “Afraid I’ll out-drink you?”

Ouyang Zizhen sipped his tea and observed as Jin Ling sat up, grabbed his jug of wine and took a drink. “Stupid,” Jin Ling muttered.

Lan Jingyi drank again. “You calling what I say ‘stupid’ is still complaining.”

Jin Ling drank after him and glared. “And you saying what I call ‘stupid’ is complaining, is stupid.”

At this point, they were taking drink after drink while having a particularly heated staring contest. Ouyang Zizhen nervously bit his bottom lip and lifted his hand as though he wanted to speak in a classroom. “Um… maybe I should go get Sizhui—“

“No!” Lan Jingyi blurted. “If he joins in, we’ll both lose.”

Jin Ling furrowed his brow and huffed with dry amusement. “Sizhui, stickler for the rules, joining a drinking game? Don’t be ridiculous.”

“You don’t know him like I do,” Lan Jingyi declared, his tone mildly taunting. A smirk passed his lips when he noticed the slightest hint of jealousy in Jin Ling’s expression.

Their heads were buzzing from how quickly they’d been drinking but Lan Jingyi was definitely having a harder time hiding his drunkenness. Almost instantly, his eyes felt heavy and the table beneath him was starting to look a lot like a pillow.

Jin Ling grinned and took another drink to rub in his impending victory. “Lan blood failing you already?”

His comment fueled Lan Jingyi enough to take one last drink before he slumped over and laid his head down, cheek smashed against the table. “Com…plaint…”

Jin Ling rolled his eyes at his quiet snores. “Lightweight.” He stumbled as he pushed himself to his feet, jug of wine still in hand.

Ouyang Zizhen frowned and got up with him. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” Jin Ling snapped, sounding more hostile than he meant to. He waved his hand dismissively at Lan Jingyi. “Just… look after him, make sure he doesn’t throw up everywhere. I’m going to bed.”

Ouyang Zizhen wasn’t given a chance to respond as Jin Ling swayed out of the room, sipping more wine as he went. He hadn’t gotten very far before stopping at another room and staring at the door for what seemed like ages.

He really should’ve just went to bed but his feet seemed to have a mind of their own as they carried him closer to the door. Can’t even drink with us, he thought. So good, so obedient… He leaned his forehead against the door’s surface and smiled with fond amusement. “So perfect,” he whispered.

Without another thought, he knocked.

Lan Sizhui was just about to snuff the candles and lanterns in his room when he heard the slow, messy raps on his door. He had no idea who could possibly need him at this time of night, especially since his seniors hadn’t traveled with them to Jinlintai.

It could only be one of his peers, which worried him enough to answer. “Jingyi, I swear, if you lit something on fire again…”

He made his way over and opened the door, fully expecting chaos… only to see an unusually calm Jin Ling slumped against the frame, face flushed and amber eyes half-lidded. His golden hair crown was crooked and his bangs were a disheveled mess around his face as he pressed his cheek against the doorframe and closed his eyes. “Hi.”

Dumbfounded, Lan Sizhui peeked down both sides of the hallway to see if any of the other juniors were with him but Jin Ling had apparently stumbled his way to Lan Sizhui’s room on his own. “Young Master Jin, are you alright?”

“Mhm.” The smell of alcohol on Jin Ling’s breath was unmistakable as he spoke. “How are you?”

Lan Sizhui sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose. “How much did you drink tonight?”

An offended pout soured Jin Ling’s face. “Two drinks at the most,” he whined. “I’m not even—“ His body lurched with a hiccup and his face went pale as he cupped his hand over his mouth and frowned, mumbling into his fingers. “—Drunk.”

“Are you feeling sick?” Lan Sizhui watched him with concern and opened the door wide. Warm lantern light flooded Jin Ling with an ambient haze and the remnants of incense revived his senses as Lan Sizhui stepped aside and invited him in. “I have some medicine that can help—“

Jin Ling stumbled inside and almost tripped over his own feet on his way towards a large pot in the corner of Lan Sizhui’s room. He dropped to his knees and wretched into it, a small whimper escaping his throat as though he were about to cry.

It reminded Lan Sizhui of all the times he’d woken up his seniors in the middle of the night every time he felt sick as a child. Something soft tugged at his heart and he hurried to Jin Ling’s side, holding his hair away from his face and gently combing his fingers through the strands to comfort him.

Jin Ling gripped the sides of the pot and took a moment to breathe, his nausea slowly subsiding. “I’m sorry,” he whispered, more worried about how gross and embarrassing it was while Lan Sizhui was simply worried about him.

Lan Sizhui chuckled to lighten the mood and make him feel better. “Do you think I’ve never had to do this for Jingyi? It’s really no trouble.”

Jin Ling scrunched his nose at hearing Jingyi’s name. “Gods, don’t mention him right now.”

A knowing grin spread across Lan Sizhui’s face. “Let me guess. You two were competing again?”

He kept hold of his hair as Jin Ling lifted his face from the pot and glared miserably at the wall. “Not really… it was just a dumb game.” His words slurred together and his eyes felt heavy.

“Oh? Did you win?”

“I’dunno. Don’t really care. I’m so tired.”

Lan Sizhui nodded and let go of his hair. He pushed himself to his feet and offered Jin Ling his hands. “I can take you back to your room if—“

Jin Ling accepted the help to stand but once he was up, he clumsily swayed over to Lan Sizhui’s bed and splattered face-first onto the surface.

Lan Sizhui stood awkwardly next to the pot, mouth hanging open and hands suspended in the air. The minute Jin Ling’s body sunk into the bed, he knew any attempt to get him back up and guide him to his own room would fail miserably.

With a defeated sigh, Lan Sizhui took a moment to place the pot out into the hall, then fished several blankets and pillows from a nearby trunk. Jin Ling squinted and watched curiously as the blankets were laid onto the floor, creating a small make-shift bed. “What’re you doing?”

Lan Sizhui looked up at him and nodded courteously. “Giving you the bed, of course.”

Just as Lan Sizhui laid down and pulled a blanket over himself, Jin Ling pushed through his drunken exhaustion and sat up with his brow furrowed. He huffed and lazily rolled off the bed, padding over to Lan Sizhui and dropping down to lay next to him on the layered blankets.

“Ah—Young Master Jin?” Lan Sizhui stared at him in disbelief, waiting for an explanation.

“I’m not gonna take your bed,” Jin Ling muttered. “If you’re sleeping in the floor, so am I.”

Lan Sizhui blinked at him, utterly perplexed by his drunken logic. “We can share the bed, then. It’s more comfortable—“ He was about to stand up when Jin Ling’s hand grabbed his arm and pulled him back down to the floor.

“Stop making me chase you,” he droned. “I’m too tired, just shut up and stay.”

With his arm trapped in Jin Ling’s grasp, he couldn’t get up even if he wanted to so Lan Sizhui fell quiet and laid back down, catching the moment Jin Ling’s eyes fluttered open to look at him. Lan Sizhui lifted his brows curiously. “I thought you said you were tired.”

“I am,” Jin Ling slurred.

“Closing your eyes tends to help with that.”

They stared at each other in silence until Jin Ling loosened his grip on Lan Sizhui’s arm and reached over the run his fingers through his long, loose hair. “You look good with your hair down.”

Lan Sizhui froze in place, his face growing warm. “Oh, um—thank you…?” He panicked when Jin Ling inched closer to him, the heavy scent of alcohol still on his breath and half-moon eyes clearly trained on Lan Sizhui’s lips. Before he could lean in further, Lan Sizhui cupped his hand over Jin Ling’s mouth to stop him.

The gesture stunned Jin Ling for a moment before his expression sank and he mumbled something into Lan Sizhui’s palm. Lan Sizhui lowered his hand and frowned. “Sorry—“

“Did I do something wrong?” The dejection in Jin Ling’s voice was unmistakable, his face plagued with genuine sadness.

Lan Sizhui shook his head and offered a small but reassuring smile. “You didn’t. It’s okay. But we can’t… do that. Not when you’re drunk.”

Jin Ling deflated and pouted into the blankets. “If you don’t like me, you can just say it.”

“A-Ling,” Lan Sizhui reached over and brushed his thumb over the back of Jin Ling’s hand. “I like you. That’s why I stopped you.”

Everything Lan Sizhui said sounded like riddles to Jin Ling’s intoxicated mind. Confusion scrunched his face as he spoke. “That doesn’t make any sense.”

Lan Sizhui chuckled and nodded in agreement. “It doesn’t right now but it will in the morning. I promise.”

“Whatever,” Jin Ling murmured, letting his fingertips idly trace the lines of Lan Sizhui’s palm.

“Are you feeling better?” Lan Sizhui asked.

Jin Ling shrugged, still looking hurt and confused by the rejection. The soft lantern light complemented Lan Sizhui’s warm smile. “Can you look at me?”

After a few more seconds of pouting, Jin Ling’s amber eyes flicked up at him, slanted in a glare. Lan Sizhui blinked and laughed nervously. “Er… maybe with a little less hostility?”

Jin Ling narrowed his eyes even more, causing Lan Sizhui to bubble with laughter and Jin Ling’s expression to soften at the sight. Something about the pure joy on Lan Sizhui’s face made his senses buzz and he genuinely couldn’t tell if it was the alcohol or not. “You make my head feel like bees.”

“Wha—bees? Is that bad?” Lan Sizhui tried to stop laughing but it was hard with Jin Ling saying such ridiculous things. To his surprise, Jin Ling responded by scooting even closer to him until his head was resting right under Lan Sizhui’s chin.

“It’s nice,” Jin Ling whispered. Before Lan Sizhui could respond, he’d already drifted off to sleep, his quiet breaths warming the small space between them.

Lan Sizhui adjusted the blanket so it covered Jin Ling’s shoulders, then relaxed and rested his hand over the other boy’s jaw and neck. “Bees, huh?”

He closed his eyes and breathed in the soft scent of scarlet peach and clove on Jin Ling’s hair, smiling against it as he gently brushed his thumb across his cheek. “Sweet dreams, A-Ling.”

{ 🖤 }

25 notes · View notes

shadowtraveled · 7 months

Text

"mithrun is the only real monsterfucker in dungeon meshi" is objectively the funniest bit you can get out of his everything, but in all seriousness i think his attraction to his love interest is deliberately overstated—and that makes sense, because romantic jealousy is a classic and digestible motive, which is explicitly what kabru was aiming for in condensing mithrun's backstory, and also because until chapter 94, mithrun wasn't willing to admit to the true nature of his desires.

but because romantic envy is both classic and digestible, it probably isn’t a unique enough or complicated enough desire to tempt a demon’s appetite. mithrun’s wish, as far as we can figure from kabru’s reduced retelling, was to have a life in which he had never become one of the canaries, and that carries like 3857 implications and desires within it. that’s delicious. his love interest acts as sort of a red herring to his motivation for making it, though. (side note: i'm saying "love interest" here because, keeping in mind that i barely speak japanese on a good day anymore, "想い人" is something i'd usually take as just kind of an old-fashioned and romantic way to refer to a lover, but in context i wonder if both the connotation of yearning and the vagueness are intentional, and i think this phrasing gets those aspects of it more effectively. anyway.)

mithrun considered his love interest to be untrustworthy. there was a minute where i thought that comment might be about a similar-looking elf (yugin, one of his squad members), but comparing the two…

the "sketchy" arrow is definitely referring to the elf we know as his love interest—the bangs go toward her right, she only has the one forehead ornament, and, most notably, her ears aren't notched.

every time she’s given a full-body depiction in his dungeon, she’s drawn as a chimera, with the body of a snake from the waist down. (side note: the “what if a dungeon has chimeras before reaching level 4?”/“then the dungeon lord is unstable” exchange just being mithrun grilling his past self alive is so funny. he’s so. but anyway) there are a couple things about this.

first, the snake part of the chimera appears to be modeled after some species of coral snake mimic

which, in the biology-for-fun manga, i… doubt is a coincidence, especially with the added context of the “untrustworthy” comment. the dungeon’s conjured illusion of mithrun’s love interest was a harmless copycat of a venomous original. for whatever reason, he felt this person was a threat and made up a "safe" version of her to be in a relationship with, and while it’s definitely possible to be attracted to or even love someone you find to be toxic and/or intimidating, when you take that into consideration alongside the configuration of her body, you get some interesting implications.

which brings us to our second point: if we assume that mithrun was not in fact fucking a snake, then sexual attraction, at least, was so far removed from his idea of a relationship with this person that he did not even bother to keep her dungeon copy human enough to maintain the illusion of the option of a sexual relationship. this is somewhat echoed in the depictions of their interactions, which also imply a frankly unexpected romantic distance. she kisses his cheek and he doesn't seem to react; she's at the edge of a narrow bed with only one set of pillows, on top of his blankets while he's underneath them.

the kiss is particularly interesting because it seems to contrast the text. kabru's narration tells us this was everything mithrun could have asked for, but mithrun is there looking unreadable to pensive, likely because this is right before the panel that makes it clear things in the dungeon are beginning to go wrong.

walking through this backwards for a minute, we have the physical barrier of his bedding and the spatial separation inherent in a bed made for one person, the emotional barrier of his mounting anxiety getting in the way of his ability to enjoy the affection he sought, and... the snake, which historically carries the connotation of temptation, yes, but also mistrust, barring physical intimacy. okay. ok. if a dungeon reflects the mentality of its lord, all of this might suggest that mithrun was not able to have any real desire for a relationship with this person. his unwillingness to be vulnerable or let another person in was insurmountable. but in that case, why was she such a focal point that she remained to the end, after his dungeon had stopped creating iterations of his friends to come and visit him? why would he get so upset over her meeting with his brother that he became lord of a dungeon about it?

well. mithrun's brother was also interested in her, probably genuinely. and mithrun had to win.

you have an older brother who your parents completely ignore, probably in part because he is chronically ill/disabled and almost definitely in part because he received a ton of recessive traits that resulted in rumors that he was an illegitimate child. you are aware, most likely because those same parents fucking told you, that you actually are an illegitimate child. but they keep you around because you had the good fortune of looking just like your mother. what can that possibly teach you but that you, like your brother, are disposable?

it's utterly unsurprising that mithrun, under these circumstances, developed a pathological need to be better than everyone around him. people don't keep you otherwise. i'd argue this is also why he says he looked down on everyone he knew while milsiril claims his dungeon reeked of feelings of inferiority—he sought out people's worst traits and prioritized them in his mind to protect his already extremely fragile sense of self-worth, and all the while he tried to be as likable and high-performing as he possibly could be. his parents disposed of him anyway, but even then he tried to keep up the performance. he was kind to everyone. he never once lost to a dungeon.

when he saw his "love interest" meeting up with his brother, what he saw was himself being replaced by a person his parents had always treated as worthless, and if that was what they thought of the child they'd kept, what value could anyone possibly see in the bastard they'd given away to die? mithrun and kabru tell the story like he wanted to win this unnamed elf's heart, but it was never about being with her. it was about cementing his worth, proving that he didn't deserve to be thrown away.

and so it's particularly cruel that his demon discarded him, too. but maybe it's also particularly gentle that, in the end, there was someone who refused to even consider giving up on him.

kui laid it out in three panels better than i could hope to.

yeah. it's love. you wanted to be loved, even when the only way you were able to understand it was through the desire to be wanted, and you wanted that so badly that the idea of being consumed felt like the promise of finally mattering to someone.

#dungeon meshi spoilers #mithrun #dungeon meshi #this has been rotating for a while but i wanted to check my evidence before getting into it thanks user angelspenance for posting that meme #half of this is just the text and the other half i'm sure has been said before but it's making my brain [radio static] so here this is #someone did for sure mention this but i do find it very cute that in his fucked up conjured world meant to portray his ideal reality #his teammates came to visit him. like part of the fantasy was then explicitly that they cared about him and were his friends. even though #he says he tried to see the worst in them.#hm it does feel important to note that i do also believe 100% in mithrun suicidality--his desire to be eaten does seem to focus a lot on #wanting it to be Over. wanting not to be left incomplete and empty anymore.#but that loops back around a bit to the hole in your heart that appears when you feel unloved. it's many things and the same thing at once #snakes #long post #severe problems #meshy

9K notes · View notes