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kanemayfield · 4 years

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5 Reggae Party Rules (for ladies)

1. If he is talking to you & is over the age of 40, yall go together. At least till the end of the evening. It will be gunshots if you get the fraternizing. Keep it moving or choose wisely. Your name is now "Di Dautah".

But be aware... sugar daddy.... and people factory... are NOT mutually exclusive. This 57yr old man will make his fingers like a gun and shoot your club right up. His nickname is the fertile crecent. You'll be pregnant... and then a whole bunch of them old songs gonna start making sense.

You: Godfrey... I'm pregnant..

Yard Don: ...hmmmm mmmmh.... mi seed strong.......

Then tell you how well all 23 of his pickney are doing in life like you need to be happy about it. The gods chose you.

BTW he's rounding down at 23... sun don't know the real number. And will call you and them kids 4 different names till he gets it right. This man been a gyalist since the Reagan era and when he brushes his teeth it sounds like an exorcism.

You might be confused... and that's good. Cause when that last line makes sense it's too late.

2. If he buys you a drink, and he is young... he's got good manners. Now polygraph him for the secret family and/or domestic violence gene.. cause you might have found you a husband in here. If his mom is really nice but his grandma calls you "road gyal" and "wata bug" or "whore foot" or some crazy shit... thats the real McCoy. Plan the wedding and know his mom don't like you either.

But...

If he bought you a drink and he is 50+... he is a drug dealer.

But.. he is a classy one. He drives an 89 BMW.

He is like the boxwine of drug dealers. You see that nugget watch... its bank... be impressed by it.

If he has the matching nugget ring and bracelet he been hustling since your dad was in High School and his gun got bodies on it. He still got a closet full of Dapper Dan suits that he's looking for an excuse to wear. His beeper number is older than his last 2 girlfriends. That may sound 🚩but there is something to be said for a man who does not change. Also a 68yr old west indian man isn't playing around either... homey been a coxman since Sparrow Meets The Dragon and is doped up on all types of sea moss and tiger balms and fuck powders. He got a whole draw full of enhancements to ensure he can put ur pum pum on the injured reserve list. No one wears a vintage Stetson hat if they can't sling dick... store won't even sell em to you without references.

Oh... and he will pistol whip one of these young Thundercats for getting fresh with you... him... the bartender... for wearing white after labor day... anything. All of it. He lives on go mode. Got a whole song about his mindset

3. If you are even moderately attractive dudes are gonna just start dancing with you w/out asking.

Dancing is rubbing his dick on you. Know that this comes with your price of admission.

Note for you fellas... you are gonna want to maintain an appropriate level of trouser discipline here. Yes these rules are for ladies but some of yall jokers are wilding.

Proper etiquette dictates & demands... quarter chub. Not more... not less.

It cant be nothing... trust me... nothing is bad. Too much is worse.

Do not bring your raging erection to a party such as this. An old lady is gonna hit you with a purse wild times as they chase you out for being a “dutty rapscallion” or some English sounding shit like that. So quarter chub... its proper presentation levels. Enough to indicate interest, but not land yourself on a watchlist for being some sort of fuck goblin. Don't be the guy known as “too horny” for a Trinidadian birthday... they national export is homewreckers. Word.

Anyway if you don't want to have dick rubbed on your ass (or the middle of your back if you're short) then stay home or sit down in the booth with Boxwine. He aint dancing less Police In Helicopter come on. That will mostly consist of mild hopping on one foot with a hand in the air.

No... he doesn't expect you to do it with him. It's like the humpty... but for weed. But if he starts skanking... you can go get some shit from your car and come back.... thats like the old yardie man version of vouging on a runway. That shit is the ital cripwalk... legendary.

But everybody didn’t wear Clarks here, which brings me to the young Jamaicans. Watch the fuck out for these young yardie yoot dem. Hes not like the Yard Don over there. This nigga don't wanna dance... he wanna do WWF moves on you.

Yeah.... you see that... those are the arm gestures of a man that don't care about your safety. He aint here for a good time.. he's here for a fucking ladder match.

Yes.... thats right.... he jumped on her back for a horsey ride.... and that is how he starts. I love you... I care... so if he tries to dance with you and starts by telling everyone to back up. Run. He is gonna do the stone cold stunner on you and dutty whine over your concussed frame. While his friends cheer him on, wave homemade blowtorches in the air, and don't call you an ambulance. Talking bout "she nuh ready yet".

Just dont...

Theres no solidarity here... bitches will step over you like Allen Iverson talking bout "big ooman ting dis" and enter the octagon with that nigga. This shit is a royal rumble.

4. Everyone makes their fingers like a gun.. it's the guy that DOESN'T that has one.

Watch out for that guy.. he bought u a drink.

If this is a REAL party than there is a 70% chance it's not in a "club" club. It could be in the basement of a house... or at a Knights Of Columbus or a VFW (which is just a house we don't mind if you break). The lower the deposit the worse the security.

And security is someone's uncle... and he ain't dying for your safety. Mind your mannerisms. If it's dark... and you see a crew of women got a bright camera light in they face... they talking shit to it in between slow whining on air... wearing bright pastels... yeah.... just dont.... they with the shits. Don't even matter... whatever you with... they with it...whatever kind of smoke... brisket... choo choo train... colorful smoke. All of it.

Oh.. you thought she was "DONE" dancing with him... naah sis... she cyan dun.... and now you getting jumped by the trenchtown Powerpuff Girls and they washing you out to a cutty ranks song. No one will stop dancing... apparently you wanted to test they rocket launcher.

5. If you are not west indian... remember.... twerking shall never defeat whining. This is law.. The world has led you astray. All the Dominican surgical's can't help you here.. you built like a freshly pulled tooth 🦷 and can't dance for shit. That skinny girl giving you all the work. She is rolling her eyes at YOU.. yeah... this is her kingdom girl... she can't fill out windbreaker pants but will blow you off the dance floor. You are outside your jurisdiction ma.

Everybodys looking. We secretly look at you the way you look at white people dancing... with amused pity.

Yes... we know the words to all these songs.

Yes.. the Dj asked you if your pussy is good.

Yeah.. thats normal... its actually a compliment.

Yeah he shouted it... he gonna shout over all this shit.

Yes that old man IS checking you out.

No.. you can't go upstairs. Because the uncles that aren't allowed down here for monstrous reasons are up there lurking...

NO you DON'T want to meet them... some of them niggas ain't allowed to babysit.

Don't eyeball those broads... they a different kind of ratchet.

The backyard is for smokers and dudes trying to take you home TONIGHT.... list goes on.

The best dick you've ever had is here but you don't want it... it'll be administered by a nigga named Fitzroy St Joseph McCloud who will get your number very calmly while two women fight over him on the front lawn. This man will exhale and look you right in the eyes and say "you know... I don't know what all that excitement is about. Some people just shouldn't drink". This man has 47 children.

This can seem a bit overwhelming to the uninitiated.

People will ask you what you "are". They want to know what kind of west indian your family is so they can play the averages of how to proceed. They will look dissapoint when you go "im just plain old black". They hit you wit the ohhh... awwww.... well thats ok... are you have fun? Like you told them ur in a wheelchair.

That can be uncomfortable so just pick some 3rd tier country and claim it (parkway rules). If you are unclear with the tier system ask a Jamaican, Trini, or Guyanese. Those are your 1st tier west indians. Then you got your Bajans, Grenada, and ill let Aruba and VI fight it out for "other places who can't make patty for shit but you can still get shot."

Bahamas, Bermuda, or Saint (Anything). Those places have low gun violence and inferior curry. Be them... we will expect less of you lol.

Ok... don't do your face like that... if a Yankee called you a coconut I'm right there with you to help you stomp em out with unlaced timbs. We are family.... this is home talk... you KNOW yall niggas don't count like that.

You think St. Barts be ringing off like that? If you don't have a parade truck on the parkway... you're not a real country. The president of your country teaches scuba at the Hyatt. Your army wears cargo shorts and sandals. I don't make the rules. Get your crime rate up or accept your place in the pecking order. Curacao is a shitty mixer.. not a place. Aint no nigga from Nassau gonna do shit besides braid your hair or overcharge you for a cruise activity.

Oh and honorary mentions to Haiti. They give it up.... but these rules don't even work for yall. Picture an old Haitian man.... you better HOPE he aint buy you a drink. Most of the time it just ain't happening anyway. He gonna look wild offended like you tried to put a finger in his butt... and tell you have some water.

These are the rules.... buss a whine in good health

Love'

Kane

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espejonight28738 · 3 years

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Family Reuinion

A.K.A: Eurovision 2021 in the Nordic's House

You can also read it in Ao3

Pairings: None really, just some squint and you miss it DenNor and SuFin but can be read as platonic.

Iceland arrived to Denmark's house two hours before the Eurovision final began. He had wanted to come earlier, but he had been very busy in previews days and there hadn't been any earlier flies that day.

He let himself into the house with his own keys, and the moment he opened the door he felt the hit of the sweet smell of danish pastries being made.

"Hej, lillebror. Had a good fly?" He heard Norway asking him from the living room.

Iceland sighted at the question, remembering the disagreement he and Mr. Puffin had before Iceland left his house.

Iceland walked to the voice, to find Norway in the largest sofa in front of the television, already in his pajamas. He had been here all week, with Sweden and Finland arriving on Wednesday.

The house was big enough for the five of them, seven when Sealand and Ladonia came along, to be without getting on each other's space, which was the reason Denmark hosted most of their reunions.

"It was good. Were you banned from the kitchen again, Nore?" Teased Iceland, knowing his brother couldn't help but eat whatever ingredients were at his reach, which lead him to be banned half the times Denmark baked.

"Not this time, I was waiting to give you your uniform," was the response Iceland got. Before he could ask what Norway meant, however, the nation handed him a sweater.

A greenish, bluish sweater. With a simple pixel-art drawing of his face. Like the ones from his entry.

"When did you even get this?" Asked Iceland, not sure if he should be annoyed or impressed.

"I have my ways, now go change."

"I don't see you with angel wings..." he complained, but still went to his room to change. The only thing more ridiculous than his brother's dress up games, were his methods of persuasion to make him play along.

He changed to the sweater and changed to the rest of his pajamas he had in his room before going back downstairs.

Finland was now sitting on the two-person sofa, also in his pajamas, no sign of any “uniform” to cheer for his country.

"Finland, you left me to be Nore's dress up doll by myself?"

"Hey, Ice!" Greeted him Finland, not answering to the accusation. "We missed you on Thursday's semi-final. Tanska would've probably been happy enough for you not to cry so much about not qualifying himself."

"He always cries," teased Norway.

"Mr. Puffin didn't come with you?" Asked Finland.

Iceland shook his head, already used to the aggressive behavior of the bird.

"Are you really not going to go with me? You're supposed to support me, and you like Danmark's house," tried to argue Iceland.

"Your stupid song is lame, I don't want be associated with it," growled the bird. Iceland had been hearing this for weeks, apparently Mr. Puffin had strong opinions on how much better the entry from two years ago was to this one. "Tell Finland his entry is my favorite."

"We have matching sweaters, Ice!" Exclaimed Denmark. Indeed, they had.

"Uh, no. He didn't like my entry. He liked yours, though," said Iceland, answering Finland's question.

Norway and Finland nodded, already used to Mr. Puffin moods, even if just by second-hand anecdotes, as he still refused to talk in front of the other nordics.

"Iceland! You're finally here!" Screamed Denmark, coming from the kitchen to the living room, Sweden behind him.

"Hi, Dan–" He interrupted himself when he finally looked at the danish nation. "What the hell–?"

But the moments he took to formulate his thoughts were enough for Denmark to put the small pastries, which smelt delicious, on the central table and throw his arms around Iceland.

Iceland corresponded the hug automatically, already used to the nation's antiques, but his brain was still processing what he saw.

Once they finally got Denmark to sit down, they spent the remaining time until the beginning of the contest discussing other countries' entries.

Denmark was wearing the same sweater Iceland had, the one from his entry, just that his had the pixel-art of his own face. Once again he wondered how did Norway get not only one, but two sweaters for the final.

But that was not all, Denmark also had some cheap angel wings in his back, in behalf on Norway's entry, he guessed, and a leather bracelet with spikes, for Finland's entry.

"Where did you even get all of that?" Was what Iceland finally settled on after Denmark stepped back.

"Don't recognize your own wings?" Asked Sweden. Iceland looked confused for a second, before finally remembering he had used an angel costume for Halloween a few years ago.

He had gotten rid of the wings early in the night, as those were very uncomfortable, and he had left them somewhere in Sweden's place.

"If you don't remember," added Norway, "Danmark has the photos in the Halloween album."

Denmark's eyes shined at the idea, but Iceland grabbed him by the sleeve before he could go for the album. He had no wishes of relieving the most embarrassing costumes Denmark and Norway had gotten him into.

"And the rest of the... outfit?" He asked to redirect the conversation.

"Norge got both of us the sweaters, and the bracelet is from the things he keeps from his black-metal phase from a few decades ago." Denmark smiled with amusement, probably remembering said phase.

Even Iceland had a few photos from that one. It was a bit unfair though that Norway looked too good for them to actually be considered embarrassing photos.

"Nothing for Sverige?"

"He tried," explained Sweden, taking a seat next to Finland, "but the clothes aren't very exciting."

"I brought my swedish mini-flags," added Denmark, pointing to the lamp table next to the sofa where there were two small swedish flags.

Iceland nodded, deciding that all in all it was a very Denmark thing to do.

Iceland sat in on of the extremes of the sofa Norway had claimed, leaving the other side for Denmark. The danish nation went back to running around the kitchen, although Iceland couldn't tell what more was he doing, but he took the chance to whisper to Norway,

"You got the sweaters to cheer him up, didn't you?"

Norway gave a self-satisfied smile, clearly proud of how well it had worked.

"I also got one each for the rest of us, we are taking family pictures on those," at Iceland attempt to interrupt, Norway raised his hand in a gesture to stop him, "and no, it's not a suggestion. Everyone loved the sweaters; we are doing it. You can go back to being a moody teenager after."

"I'm not a teenager," argued Iceland, but he left the 'moody' part out, knowing that was probably a lost battle.

"Sure, lillebror."

"I can't believe you didn't vote for me, Su-san, I'm divorcing you and taking Sealand and Hanatamago."

"We don't get a say at the jury vote," tried to argue Sweden.

Every year someone had some version of that same argument, and Iceland was glad it wasn't Norway who started to complain how he hadn't gotten votes from the icelandic jury.

Iceland was feeling kind of smug about having been the only one everyone voted for, even if he didn't win in the end. Only for that we would complain just the minimum for the photos with the matching sweaters.

"Does anyone understand the jokes about calling my guy... Castiel? And saying something about some turbo-hell?" Asked Norway, interrupting Finland and Sweden's bickering.

Norway was leaning on Denmark's shoulder, but still wide awake and checking, Iceland guessed, social media on his phone.

"You don't want to know"/"Long story" Denmark and Sweden answered simultaneously.

Iceland couldn't help a small laugh at that, but that ended in him yawning, which apparently was everyone's sign to go to sleep.

They all congratulated Iceland for being the highest-ranked nordic of the year, so only after his obligatory line of hugs he could go to his bedroom.

He kept yawning on his way upstairs, and collapsed on his bed as soon as he closed the door behind him. On Monday he would have to fly back to his home, but after all these months barely seeing each other, Iceland just enjoyed the feeling of being asleep under the same roof as his family.

#hetalia #hetalia world stars #hws nordics #aph nordics #hws iceland #aph iceland #hws norway #aph norway #hws denmark #aph denmark #hws sweden #aph sweden #hws finland #aph finland #anko family

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mrs-nate-humphrey · 3 years

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i hope this isn't weird but I've decided I like how you interact with this show (not something I can say for a lot of fans) and now I wanna hear what you have to say about Eric and Jenny's friendship. I have this image in my head of the two of them dying her hair pink in a VDW bathroom (Lily thinks they should've gone to a salon but that's no fun). feel free to talk for literally forever I'm actually obsessed with them ~ily

not weird at all! that's really sweet of you to say, actually. whenever i get qns like this, often the first place my mind goes to is fic, so if that's not something you were looking for, feel free to ignore the next 2 paragraphs, lmao.

a lot of my jenny and eric feels are in these fics that i've written: "a remedy for bland sweet potatoes" (sort of like, a fix it but it doesn't fix anything - it's canon compliant and jenny & eric discuss some of the things jenny's done), as well as "the lights that stop me (turn to stone)" which is a post-canon blair/jenny fix-it in some ways, but is also a character study of jenny as a whole & there's a lot of j&e feels in there (jenny and eric are housemates! they look out for each other and defuse derena tension together LKHFKLDHG).

other fics that highlight some great jenny and eric feels (both of these are kinda sad KLHDFKLH) are "withdrawal symptoms" by lunasol28 and and "fell from grace (it left me in this place)" by @vanderwoodlings .

now i’m actually gonna answer your question........ putting it under a read more, ‘cause it got long!

anyway, to answer your question as much as possible - i have a lot of feelings and i'm not sure how best i can do them justice - i have so much to say about jenny & eric. @mysteriesofloves said this thing once about how jenny and eric's friendship sort of parallels blairena friendship, in the sense of like - you love this person so much and no matter how much you hurt each other, you find your way back together, and i think that's extremely true of them both. in a lot of ways, i feel like jenny and eric are each other's most important person - best friend, support system, family, all of that. unlike dan and serena, when jenny & eric find out about rufus and lily they're actually excited to be step siblings which i find incredibly cute.

there's also - i love the fact that during their first meeting eric tells jenny pretty much everything about how he's in the ostroff centre and why he's there, and jenny doesn't judge him or treat him any differently - instead, she shows up at his room later with board games, just to spend time with him. we see things like this at various points, i feel, where jenny & eric's lives are sort of unstable or at a low point in some way and they're both able to just be there for each other without having to do any sort of grand gesture.

there's also definitely, uh... while i see the blairena friendship parallels, i'd make my own danessa friendship parallels. much like dan and vanessa, jenny and eric are incredibly lonely, and also, deeply different. they're not like their peers at st judes/constance! they struggle to make friends, and they have to navigate that. in a lot of ways, the only real friend either of them has is each other, despite the fact that there are instances when they've let each other down or hurt each other.

@nocakesformissedith made a post that i don't have the spoons to find right now - one of her jenny masterposts - that's basically an image of eric and jenny and it's like, "don't ask gay people how we know each other- we know each other from being gay". and i feel like eric and jenny absolutely and totally had that specific intimacy of like. being queer and knowing you're queer and having sat with it for a long fucking time, in high school, when nobody else around you really gets it. to me, my lesbian jenny headcanon explains a lot of the jenny & eric closeness - it's like, when you're young and gay, your One Gay Friend feels like the ONLY person who understands you.... sort of because they are! navigating any form of queerness in high school is terrible, and i'm just glad that they had each other when they did have each other.

it’s so notable to me that like - even though j&e spent so much of s3 at odds/fighting, when jenny’s gone in s4, eric goes through a major downward spiral, with the whole damien thing and everything else. jenny was his anchor! she was the one person who made him feel a little less fucked up about everything, and a little less lonely. and as for jenny with eric - i feel like jenny’s really comfortable and open around eric, and unlike with other people, for the most part, doesn’t try to be someone else around him. part of why eric feels so alienated by jenny’s behaviour in s3 - other than the fact that she was mean to him and jonathan - i feel is just that the way she was behaving with him was fake, and whoever else jenny was fake around, she’d never been like that with eric before. this is more like my interpretation, though, it’s not necessarily stated by canon or anything.

anyway this got depressing!! i do have fun jenny and eric feelings, i promise. i bet they listen to music together and when they’re studying together, they draw in each other’s textbooks. they probably wasted time doing online quizzes together, and there’s definitely a trash tv show that is Their Garbage Show (probably much to dan and serena’s bemused annoyance in the sense of like ‘do you HAVE to quote that again?’). jenny and eric dyeing jenny’s hair together sounds like something they’d do!! (incidentally, in a script of the pilot that didn’t make it, eric had BLUE HAIR. it could’ve been canon and i am so sad that it was not!!! we came so close to getting it. blue haired little eric lives in my head rent free.)

i think jenny and eric’s friendship is so special because it is SO normal, and literally nothing else in their lives is normal (im pretty sure i said this in some way/ form earlier) - in the sense of like. family issues. kids at school being mean. their own mental health being challenging. their lives are so complicated and heavy, both of them often end up needing to be more mature / adult than they actually are (lily comments during e’s 18th that eric has always been so “serious”, and i always think of how JENNY went to hudson and brought alison back because rufus & alison couldn’t resolve their marriage without their 14 year old daughter’s intervention, apparently). so yeah i do think they’d do all those bestie things - like, sleepovers, friendship bracelets, buying matching clothes together, sending each other pictures of things like “should i buy this” - wrong generation, but if they were gen z kids they’d definitely have the biggest snapchat streak ongoing, and not in a performative way - they would genuinely talk to each other THAT much.

also, for your consideration: imagine jenny and eric baking together!!! i think they’d be really serious about it, and they’d also have so much fun.

#anon #jenny humphrey #eric van der woodsen #meta #i guess?#i hope this is a sufficient answer! i have so many feelings abt them #but they're hard to write about LKHFLKHG #fic rec

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icyharrington · 4 years

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Is It Wrong?- THE PREQUEL- Part 1 (Michael Langdon X Reader)

so basically,,,, i took my adhd meds for class this morning, and then suddenly got super inspired to write this, so i figured i couldnt waste the focus and wrote this whole ass thing in a few hours. this is the first part of a 3-part prequel series, which details the events leading up to the first part of iiw! just a whole lot more teen angst, drama, fuckboy michael, and more... there isn’t going to be any SMUT smut for obvious reasons, but in a future part there is going to be some dirty stuff ;) anyway i know this will prob flop but this is the first full length fic i’ve written in months and i had a lot of fun writing it, so ima post regardless ^__^

plot: things are turning upside for you now that the biggest fuckboy in school, michael langdon, is about to become your stepbrother. if you think shit is crazy now, wait til you find out that this is just the prequel 😏

warnings: underage drinking, talk of sexual shit, teen angst, sexual tension, taboo relationships

wc: 4.2k

It wasn’t like you didn’t want your dad to be happy.

You did, of course you did.

You’d seen him, engulfed in his loneliness, floating from day to listless day like some kind of cheesy Victorian spectre. Too many times you’d found him alone at night, one hand cradling a glass of sewer-brown liquor, the other thumbing through worn photo albums extracted from dust-ridden shelves in the living room. You hadn’t known your mother well- she’d died back when you were still in diapers, but what you did know was that she’d been a vibrant light in your father’s world that had been unjustly snuffed out in its prime. He was a good father to you, and you knew you made him happy despite the dull ache ever-present in his heart, but it was evident that deep down he craved a companionship you could never provide.

So of course you were glad when he met Miriam. Of course you were glad when you’d seen his beaming smile, sharing the news, with the giddiness of a teenage girl in love, that he’d found somebody. He was practically glowing, that night he’d gone out for their first date. You’d known it’d been special to him, because he’d shelled out a few hundred to treat them both to a fancy dinner; he’d even gotten her a bouquet of flowers on the drive there.

You hadn’t said anything when he’d gushed to you the next day about how he’d found the one, despite having known her for only a week; sure, he was rushing into things, but at least he was happy! And that was all you wanted- for him to be happy.

That was why you were especially crushed when you finally met Miriam’s teenage son, whom your father had briefly mentioned with a passing “he goes to your high school, maybe you know him”.

There were so many boys at your school that it was impossible to guess who your potential stepbrother might be. The prospect that you might know him didn’t bother you too much, though you did think it might be a little awkward upon first meeting, but really what did it matter? A little bit of teenage shyness was a small price to pay for your father’s newfound happiness.

That is, until you met him.

So really, it wasn’t like you didn’t want your dad to be happy.

That wasn’t the case at all.

You just really, really, wished he’d fallen in love with anyone other than the mother of Michael fucking Langdon.

ii.

“Oh, you’re so pretty,” Miriam gushed over a glass of Chardonnay, which had already been defaced with aubergine lip prints around the golden rim. “Gosh, I just wish I had your hair. Mine was fried from years of coloring, so I just chopped it all off!”

You smiled sweetly, observing your father’s glimmering eyes as he hung onto every word that rolled off her tongue, menus still stacked neatly in the middle of the table as you awaited the fourth and final guest. The three of you had been there for fifteen minutes already, and still her son had not arrived.

I guess his study session is running late, she’d explained, after seeing your furrowed brows at her lack of accompaniment. It was the first time you were meeting your father’s new love interest and her son, and you were rapidly growing more and more anxious in anticipation of the big reveal.

Studying, you’d thought, racking your brain. So maybe he’s one of the nerdy teacher’s pet types? You could certainly live with that; there were a great deal of others you could think of who would be far worse to potentially become step-siblings with.

“Thanks, Ms… Mead, did you say it was?”

You weren’t sure you knew of any boys whose last name was Mead; he definitely had to be someone you hardly knew.

“Oh, honey, call me Miriam,” she said warmly, and you nodded, unsure of what to say next.

Miriam was certainly not what you’d imagined your father’s girlfriend to be like, not that you cared either way; she sported short, dark hair with vampy makeup, clad in all black with a tasteful leather jacket to match. She was also a bit older than you’d anticipated, with fine lines adorning her rounded face, but again, none of that mattered to you at all. She seemed perfectly sweet, and you had no complaints about her thus far.

“Okay, Miriam,” you said, feeling somewhat peculiar addressing an adult by their first name, “so, remind me, how’d you guys meet again?”

“Well, it’s a funny story, really,” Miriam chuckled, plucking a dinner roll from the woven basket across from her and dropping it onto her plate. Her dark eyes shifted from you to your father, poising an impeccably groomed raven brow. “Should you tell it, or should I?”

“Oh, you should, definitely,” your father said, sipping his wine.

“Okay, okay. Well, we were in the meat section at the grocery store when we both reached for the last steak on sale. So I looked at him, and I told him- oh my, this is embarrassing- (your dad’s name), you finish!”

Your father looked like he was about to bust out into laughter, and, suppressing a snort, he blurted, “she said she’d cut off my hands if I took it!”

Immediately after the words left his lips, the two fell into boisterous hysterics that ushered forward a few disapproving glances from the stuffy rich assholes at the next table over, and you couldn’t help but laugh a little yourself. Well… she definitely was a character, but as long as your father was being kept entertained…

“Hey mom,” came a sudden, inappropriately loud male voice from behind you, so out of place that you nearly jumped from your seat. “I was helping Dan with the world war three chapter in our textbook, he sucks at geography shit.”

The voice’s owner revealed himself as a tall, blond boy, who promptly slid into the empty chair beside you, chiseled face slightly obscured by the deep shadows resulting from the dimness of the restaurant’s ambient lighting.

This was, indeed, somebody that you knew, and you blinked twice to be sure that your eyes weren’t playing tricks on you.

It took you a few seconds to register the direness of the situation at hand, but once the thought processed in your mind, you about descended into an out-of-body experience.

This couldn’t be.

No way.

No motherfucking way.

You’d never been all too much of a religious person, but in that moment, you found yourself silently begging whatever higher power was out there that this was all just some sick, cosmic prank.

The boy turned his head to give you a good, uncomfortably long look, stupidly perfect mouth twisting into an amused sideways grin, and then he spoke. “Ohh shit, (y/n)? (Y/n) (y/l/n)?”

He spoke your name like it was a punchline, tongue darting out to lick his teeth like a lizard about to gobble up some poor, helpless cricket as you sat there with your jaw unhinged. You were at a loss for words, or at least almost, managing to croak out a pathetic, puny, “Michael.”

“Oh, good! You guys know each other already!” Miriam exclaimed, seemingly oblivious to the complete and utter horror that had just about finished swallowing you whole.

Michael let out a snort, roughly translating to ‘uhh, yeah, not that well… I’d never be caught dead hanging around with someone like (y/n)’, and you grimaced. “Yeah, a little bit. You were in math class with me last year, right?”

You cleared your throat, forcing yourself to regain your composure for fear of feeding into this complete asshole’s already massive ego. Yeah, in fact, you had been in math class with him last year, and, not-so-coincidentally, that very same class had turned out to be the one you dreaded the most.

Michael Langdon was the most insufferable, mind-numbing, self-obsessed asshole that you’d ever had the displeasure of knowing; he was easily the most popular boy in the grade, and it was clear he was fully aware of his own high school bullshit prestige. He was loud, cocky and obnoxious; the type of fuckboy- yes, you knew the word fuckboy was overplayed, but in this case there was no other way to describe him- who’d loudly brag about his sexual escapades in the middle of the hallway to his flock of adoring fuckboy minions. He was an I-don’t-do-relationships type, a U-up-text-at-3am type, a Yo-dude-did-you-see-Zoe-Benson’s-tits-today type, a bro-I’m-so-fucking-baked-right-now type. Just the sound of his voice from across a crowded hallway was enough to make you physically recoil. And the worst part?

Every-fucking-body loved him.

Your complaints about him during lunch would only result in your friends cooing dreamily, as though he were some kind of sympathetic creature that needed babying: But he’s so cute, they’d say, twirling locks of their hair and fiddling with their bracelets. I’m sure he’s not that bad.

But he was that bad, and if they took off their shit-stained, teenage hormone-clouded rose tinted glasses for only a second, they’d see exactly what you saw.

It wasn’t only the students, either. He was able to get away with everything and anything he pleased, whether it be sneaking sips of vodka in a water bottle between classes or ditching class to smoke a joint behind the bleachers. There’d even been rumors that he’d fucked some senior girl in the handicap stall during the autumn pep rally while the rest of the student body was packed like sardines in the sticky-hot gymnasium, subjected to incremental barks from the football coach to scream louder and louder.

How the hell was somebody as pleasant as Miriam the mother of such an incurable douchebag? And how, in all the unholy realms of hell, did your luck get so miserably bad that she ended up with your father?

It was all so fucking unfortunate that you almost wanted to laugh. And you probably would have, if not for the chance that you might puke all over your nice new sweater if you opened your mouth.

“You smell funny, hon,” said Miriam before you could reply. “Was Dan burning incense in his room?”

Oh, god. So she was one of those oblivious parents. You rolled your eyes; it made a lot of sense when you thought about it.

“Huh? Oh. Um, yeah. Incense,” Michael said, before suddenly extending his arm across the table to your father. “Oh shit, how rude of me. I’m Michael. Nice to meet you, man.”

Your father seemed unfazed my Michael’s distinct lack of manners as he accepted the boy’s hand and shook it, and you felt yet another knot twist up in the pit of your stomach as you realized that your father, too, had somehow been cast under Michael’s spell.

“Michael, we talked about this,” Miriam said under her breath, like she was scolding a child who didn’t know any better. “Keep the potty mouth to a minimal when we’re out in public, especially while we’re in such a nice restaurant.”

“Oh, sh…oot, sorry, mom,” Michael said with a faux-sheepish smile, his eyes flickering with amusement despite his supposed remorse. “And sorry to you too, sir. Bad habits.”

“Don’t worry about it, Mike- can I call you Mike?” your father said as they released hands, moving his to rest atop Miriam’s on the cloth-sheathed table. “I remember what it was like being a boy your age.”

You scoffed, loud enough that the table fell silent for a moment, and quickly you disguised it with a cough. Your cheeks went hot as all eyes laid on you, and you frantically scanned your brain for something to fill the silence with.

“So, um,” you said, clearing your throat. “Michael’s, uh, how come Michael’s last name isn’t Mead?”

Fuck. That sounded so fucking stupid. Instinctively, you felt your eyes wander to Michael to see if he was laughing at you, which you hated yourself for; why should his stupid, pea-brained opinion mean anything to you anyway? As much as you wanted to distance yourself from that idiotic, made-up high school hierarchy, you always wound up finding yourself being sucked back in, it seemed.

“Well, my late husband’s last name was Langdon, and since he was kind of a dirtbag, I decided not to keep his name after he passed,” Miriam said slowly, as if taking very careful thought to word herself correctly. You took in a breath; this seemed like a whole new can of worms that you hadn’t meant to open up.

“Hey, c’mon, don’t talk about dad like that,” said Michael, his tone only half-playful, eyebrow cocking as he flashed his mother a knowing look.

“You try being cheated on multiple times, Michael. Then you’ll see that dirtbag is really a nice way of putting it.”

Oh, sure, you thought bitterly. As if Michael fucking Langdon is even remotely capable of understanding someone else’s pain.

You took this as your cue to stand up from your seat, mumbling something about needing to use the restroom before scurrying off in the opposite direction as fast as you could without drawing attention to yourself. If ten minutes with Michael as your psuedo-stepbrother got to you this badly, you could only imagine how awful your life was about to get.

You could only hope that your father would find some reason to nip things in the bud with Miriam, but right now, that appeared to be an unlikely prospect.

iii.

“Give me one good reason I shouldn’t end my shit right here and now,” you griped to your best friend, who sat crosslegged on your bed as you stood idly before your floor-length mirror, arms dangling limply at your sides in an unintentional stance of defeat. Your face was one that you hardly recognized anymore, forehead creased with worry and eyes shadowed by bruise-colored rings from a seemingly endless barrage of sleepless nights; a week ago, your father had gleefully announced his and Miriam’s engagement; you of course, as his loving daughter, had to behave as though you hadn’t just received the worst news of your life, which somehow you’d pulled off (for a second you wondered why you’d never taken up theater, seeing at how convincing your acting could be sometimes). It was like you’d been plucked from the familiarity of your boring, normal world and dropped into your own personally tailored hell without any warning at all, though you couldn’t think of a single thing you’d done bad enough to warrant you deserving this. “The worst person on the planet is about to be my fucking stepbrother and nobody else seems to think this is a big deal!”

Your best friend shook her head, letting out a snort as if any of this was even remotely funny in the slightest. “So your stepbrother is hot and cool and he pisses you off. They literally make porn about that.”

You resisted the urge to take her by the shoulders and shake her until some semblance of sense entered her head, instead shoving your hands into the pockets of your jeans with a loud huff. “Yeah, but this isn’t fucking pornhub, (best friend’s name), this is real life! And I’d rather skin myself alive than sleep with that walking STD.”

“You have a lot more self respect than I do. It’s admirable,” she said, still startlingly calm for your liking, and you were beginning to believe that she’d never understand the mental turmoil you were currently suffering with. “Personally I’d ride him into the sunset, whether he had a herpes dick or not.”

You gagged, shaking your head with adamant disgust. Was she really that fucking horny? “You’re sick, you know that?”

“Sick for diiiiick,” she sang back, batting her eyelashes playfully at you. You turned away, scrounging up every weary shred of self restraint within you not to scream.

“Look, (b/f/n). I’m being serious right now. If you fuck him, or suck his dick, or whatever, I will literally never speak to you again.” Your tone was stern, and you faced her again to see whether your seriousness had computed in the hormonal wasteland that was her brain. There was an extended pause as she blinked at you, tilting her head to one side thoughtfully as she chewed her lipgloss-slick bottom lip.

“I mean, he wouldn’t fuck me anyways,” she finally said, still infuriatingly chipper. “I’m nobody. And he’s, like, royalty.”

“Jesus fucking Christ! I don’t care whether you think you have a chance with him!” You realized too late that you were nearly shouting, so you took in a shaky gulp of oxygen and coaxed yourself to soften your tone. The last thing you needed right now was for people to think you were losing your mind, although sometimes that was exactly what you felt like was happening. “Please, just promise me you won’t? I just need one aspect of my life not to involve him. Please?”

“Okay, fine,” she said, drawing her knees to her chest and settling her chin on top. “If it really matters that much to you, I’ll just shift my thirst to Dan Mott instead. That boy is a fucking snack and a half.”

A wave of almost-relief cascaded over your body, and you closed your eyes, letting yourself become one with this momentary victory.

One year. Just one stupid, insignificant year until I can go away to college and forget all about him.

If you could survive that much, you told yourself, you’d be able survive anything.

You just hoped that intoxicating spell of his wasn’t strong enough to bring your best friend into his web of bullshit, alongside all the other girls who’d become entangled along the way.

If she did, you’d be stranded, left to run from Michael and his ever-expanding army all on your own.

iv.

In what seemed like a blink of an eye, the dreaded date of your father’s wedding ceremony arrived; now you stood amidst a small group of distant relatives at the subdued reception party, seeking refuge from the disturbing thought that, legally, Michael Langdon was now your brother, at the open bar.

You and your best friend had decided to make something of a game out of how many drinks you could finagle from the bartender without any adults noticing, which had ultimately proved to be pointless- an hour into the reception, your father had staggered over with two overflowing dirty Shirleys, thrusting them towards the two of you with a big, sloppy grin on his face.

To say he was in a good mood would be a severe understatement- the man was jovial, and you almost felt guilty for hating the circumstances of his marriage so much. By the raised-brow looks your best friend had been shooting at you all night, you knew she was thinking the same thing: that you were being selfish for worrying so much about yourself when this was the best thing that’d happened to your father in years. And maybe it was true; maybe you’d been so wrapped up in your own teen angst bullshit that you’d willingly blinded yourself from the truth. So, with your father’s beaming face dancing in the back of your mind, you pushed any thought about Michael back to the dredges where they belonged.

Fuck Michael Langdon. You couldn’t allow him the satisfaction of knowing that you were distraught, though you’d surely already made that pretty obvious over the past few months (he’d wasted no time in taunting you about it, seeming to relish in your death glares and eye rolls- hey, future sis! he’d crooned at you as you passed his table in the cafeteria one afternoon, nearly causing you to trip and spill your perfectly mediocre iced coffee all over yourself as his friends cackled like demented hyenas).

I’m not gonna let him bother me anymore.

I’m not-

“SIS-TERRRRRR!”

Okay, this had to be some kind of divine test of will.

A blazer-glad arm flung itself around your shoulders and you flinched, immediately jerking away from your intoxicated stepbrother (god, it felt weird to refer to him that way) whose brash motions had sent you both stumbling.

“Getting shitfaced at your mom’s wedding… classy,” you spat, crossing your arms in front of your chest and narrowing your eyes at the blond-haired boy.

He was, admittedly, good-looking (only by conventional standards, of course); his lightly gelled blond hair had long since come undone, now soft and unkempt from hours of attention-whorish dancing, but you thought the disheveled look suited him better anyway (since his whole thing was to look like a grimy, rugged fuckboy, not because you personally found it attractive, obviously). He’d undone the top few buttons of his white top (no doubt the only formal article of clothing he owned), which was now stained beyond foreseeable repair with a colorful variety of liquids, and there was a bead of sweat traveling from his slick forehead to his model-sharp jaw. Even in disarray, he looked good, and you couldn’t help but hate him for it.

“God, you are so uptight,” he said, pale eyes flickering towards the multicolored ceiling in exaggerated annoyance as he dragged out his syllables with leisure. “You need to relax, set up a dick appointment or something. Or pussy appointment, I don’t know what you’re into.”

Your mouth fell open at this remark, too stunned by his vulgarity to even get angry with your friend, who had dissolved into a fit of giggles beside you; it wasn’t that you were some pearl-clutching grandmother- you had no issue discussing sexual matters with your friends, and in fact some would even say you had a perverted sense of humor. But this? This was different: something about the way those words had fallen from Michael’s mouth made you feel dirty.

At your lack of response, Michael flashed a pearly grin that could only be categorized as evil, and he crossed his arms to mimic your stance. “Oh, sorry. I forgot that you’re probably still a virgin.”

He glanced over to your friend, whose feeble attempts to suppress her second wave of laughter had proven unsuccessful, before averting his gaze back to you. “Aw, don’t feel bad, (y/n). There’s nothing wrong with being a late bloomer.”

Then, as if to punctuate his words, he smirked.

Your mouth pressed into a thin line, you felt something like a storm swirling inside of you, winds thick and unyielding and relentless, and you were almost positive that you’d tear him apart once the feeling aligned with the rest of your body.

It was then that the song blaring through the speakers switched to something inappropriately upbeat, each thump of the dance-friendly bass feeling like punches to the gut.

The storm inside you hadn’t been giving way to anger at all; it was sadness you were feeling in your belly, hopeless and humiliated sadness, though you couldn’t quite understand why: he’d made some stupid, generic joke to try and get a rise out of you- what else was new these days? Maybe it was the fact that your best friend was, by her passiveness and obvious amusement at your expense, encouraging his taunts when she was supposed to be there for you. Or maybe the reality had finally, finally sunken in, that this kind of interaction with Michael would now consume your life for the next year.

Either way, it didn’t make a difference, and as if on cue, the familiar sting of unshed tears arrived patiently at the back of your eyes.

All at once you were were dizzy; Michael’s perfect face was doubling and distorting before your eyes, and your friend’s pitched laughter rang like incessant, robotic television static in your ears.

With very last straw of self preservation you could grasp, you said nothing at all, walking away with the dazed sluggishness of a zombie on autopilot.

You considered yourself lucky; soon enough, you wouldn’t have the luxury of walking away at all.

“She’s too sensitive,” you heard your friend say, faintly, in the background of your thoughts.

You didn’t have the energy to wonder why she wasn’t coming with you, much less the energy to chastise her for being a bad friend, which was what you knew she deserved. If she cared more about getting Michael’s attention than preserving her friendship with you, you supposed there was no use in trying to stop her anymore.

He’s like a disease, you thought as you ambled your way towards the bathroom, surrounded by people but yet still so alone. He’s like a disease, infecting everyone he touches.

It was only a matter of time, you supposed, before he got to you, too.

Who knew? Maybe he already had.

tagging some people from my old iiw tag list!: (i’m sorry if i tagged anyone twice, i’m literally half asleep right now cuz i got like 2 hours of sleep in the past 24 hrs lol) @wroteclassicaly @ritualmichael @sloppy-little-witch-bitch26 @trelaney @kissydevil @sloppy-wrist @michael-langdon-appreciation @ccodyfern @sojournmichael @starwlkers @maso-xchrist @space-princesssss @ahslangdon101 @isabellaserpentiawesson @stupidocupido @bademliimagnum @nana15774 @urlocalgothb @hexqueensupreme @gold-dragon-slayer @langdonsboots @langdonstrash @fckinsupreme @hisgirlwonder @venusxxlangdon @obsessivenostalgicbaby @kleinegamerin @lambofcairo @kiiteiru @littledemondani @beriveri @grossgayartist @featherpool-852 @discocalico @cryptid-coalition @nu-tt @diamcndscarred @chocolateandhorror @michaelsfrenchtoast @sarcasticbxtch20 @ringpop-poppy @imjustasadhoe @melodylangdon @codycrazy @perfect-ginger-maniac @baphomet-wears-gucci @bigstudentpatrolbonk @jazzcowgirl @a-n-t-s @langdonsblood @ritualmichael @myluciferiscody @fentycoven @gracebtw @bongwaternation @king-of-mischief-and-bitchez @hoseokchild @witchywcmans @satanicbimbo @lvngdvns @langdonskillerqueen @aradevil @anemia-doll @muralskins @funtomimagines @mrssgtjamesbuckybarnes @our-mrlangdon @lotsofhunny @sevenwonderwitch @horrorstreet @kpopmademedo-it @naughtygranger @codyshands @krazycags01 @skullag

#michael langdon #is it wrong #michael langdon x reader #mine #michael langdon fic #ahs #american horror story #apocalypse #ahs apocalypse #cody fern #x reader #ahs x reader

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fandomkru · 4 years

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Review Lucifer 5x3 "¡Diablo!"

What an amazing episode!! I laughed so much with this one! So Lucifer is back!! This time a case takes them to the set of the tv show inspired by his life. It was really fun to see their doppelgangers. But anyway! Chloe conforts Lucifer about the truth of her existence and things aren't looking so good for the two of them. Not that i blame the poor girl.. Damn you Michael. This isn't how their reunion was supposed to go.. I really hope they make amends soon.

I loved Dan's speech and it made me love him a little bit more. He's really trying guys and it breaks my heart.. Also loved that they have the matching bracelets now! It was so sweet.. #braceletbuddies. I really want to see their friendship evolve..

LUCIFER VS MICHAEL!!! OH BOY. What a scene. I will admit that i laughed at some parts. It's just reminded me when i was little and i used to fight with my twin sister. So it was all i bit familiar (although here was a little more brutal 😅). Well it was fun until Lucifer decided to cut his brother face. DUUUUUUUDE.. Hate him much? Although in his defence, Lucifer has just learned that his sweet little brother manipulated him his whole life. NOT COOL BRO. And now Michael wants to turn Maze against Lucifer.. He really is up to now good..

10/10 for you my friend

Character Ranking:

Lucifer Morningstar

Daniel Espinoza

Michael

Chloe Decker

Maze

Honorable mention: Linda Martin. She really thinks she is going to hell bc she "abandoned" her first child, doesn't she?

(sourse Pinterest)

#lucifer #lucifer spoilers #lucifer morningstar #chloe decker #linda martin #amenadiel #mazikeen #michael #daniel espinoza #ella lopez

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sanoiro · 5 years

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5x01 - Really Sad Devil Guy - Spoilers & Speculation

Warning! There is always a possibility that certain scenes might have been mixed up under their non-respective episodes.

I’ll be clear about all this. Do not copy and paste the speculations, If you have found the original accounts from where the bts come from use yours do not get any of the photos from here. This post was NOT written to aid fandom spongers but in order to have fun with some dear friends and as a courtesy to the fans who come across my posts. I’m not a news blog nor a source and I’ll not be treated as such.

Written By: Jason Ning Directed By: Eagle Eglisson

Jason Ning has written/co-written the episodes:

1x03 - The Would-Be Prince of Darkness

1x06 - Favorite Son

2x05 - Weaponizer

2x16 - God Johnson

3x04 - What Would Lucifer Do?

3x11 - City of Angels?

3x14 - My Brother's Keeper

3x20 - The Angel of San Bernardino

4x03 - O, Ye of Little Faith, Father

4x08 - Super Bad Boyfriend

5x01 - Really Sad Devil Guy

Cast: Tom Ellis as Lucifer, Lauren German as Chloe, DB Woodside as Amenadiel, Lesley-Ann Brandt as Maze, Kevin Alejandro as Dan, Scarlett Estevez as Trixie, Rachael Harris as Linda Martin and Aimee Garcia as Ella.

Season 4 Recurring Characters: None Officially Announced Guest Cast:

Erik Aude...Rod

Kelsey Chock...Kirby Jones

Patrick Duke Conboy...Club Guy

Joël Dupont...Lux patron

Mark Elias...Vincent Gill

Chasten Harmon...Megan Garner

Brian Majestic...Neighbor

Sierra Nowak...Emily

Jose Stephan Perez...Club Guy

Behind The Scenes Videos:

youtube

5x01 Locations:

1) LUX - Party

2) Precinct

3) The Yacht - Party - Maze (stunt) - Ella - (Ella & Maze) - Mr DOB? Money Lucifer?

4) The House - Night with Lucifer & Maze - Morning with Chloe Detective - Baby Shower - Girl

5) The DTLA Penthouse - Morning Lucifer - Night Chloe Sting (Green Screen)

Due to the confusing titles we have ended up between friends to retitle them and this one is ‘The Gambler’ episode. The reason behind the name is because the case is taking place mainly in a high profile gambling establishment but also sets forward a very interesting concept for S5.

Everything is a gamble and you need to be aware of what you are about to throw on the table. In my belief, the cards at our leads hands are misleading and sometimes some of them do not know what the power of the cards they hold. Pity that it’s not a card game though but a through of the dice with many unknown sides to the players. No God does not play dices with the universe as Neil Gaiman explains in Good Omens but how much of what is going on can be blamed on him? Not much in my humble opinion.

As you already know after all these years BTS is not easy on the contrary they are confusing and frustrating to no end… So stay cautious and try to have fun rather than search for definite answers. These answers may come only when the season P1 drops and if I managed to spot something correctly we were fortunate.

The first episode as Ellis said will clarify why Lucifer returned to Earth but unfortunately, we can only speculate as the bts do not give us a definite answer but we know one thing, do not expect Lucifer and Chloe to meet too soon in 5x01. For the most part, it seems like Lucifer tries to avoid her and for a very good reason. As Henderson said you cannot expect to lock an alcoholic to a liquor store for 20 years and do not have a regression.

The beginning of the episode will most probably take us to… Hell. The reason for that speculation is Ellis’ birthday cake. Yes, Ellis is an executive producer and usually, by now 5x01 should have wrapped as an episode its post-production so we assume that that scene takes place in the first 5-10 minutes of the first episode of S1.

If the scene of that cake is not one of the S5 first scenes then probably is a cut scene from Chloe wondering how Lucifer is doing and the answer is well… he is delusional. According to Boris’s speculation we might get a similar scene like the beginning of S4 but this time it’s Chloe who works and the files pile up as well as the boxes around her office... Some bts suggest that might be actually happening but we simply cannot be sure.

We might also spot Gaudium on that cake but I would assume he appears like that because the delusion has not yet dropped so his real form might be a wonderful CGI. Henderson always wanted him somehow in the show so that would be the perfect time to do so…

So what has caused Lucifer wanting to get to earth? Again we do not know but it might be somehow related to the case Chloe will be working on. Of course, that relationship might not be obvious but more like the case of 5x04 where Lucifer’s connection to the case Chloe was trying to solve was purely accidental due to Eve.

Now the writers did tease that Lucifer will see a familiar face in Hell and many have speculated over that. When I heard it for the first time I thought it was Dan and I still hold that opinion mainly because Dan’s arc is more or less similar to the one of Charlotte. If a character is going to die in S5 I do expect it to be Dan even if it is for a little while, something that will lead to bigger problems later on and perhaps it will be the reason on why he needs the matching bracelet he wears with Lucifer and which appears in 5x03.

If that face is not Dan then who else could it be? Father Frank? In Hell, you may ask? Well, he felt immense guilt over accidentally killing his family and the boy’s family at that car crash so that’s where I place my next bet. In any case that familiar face is probably who shakes up things and causes Lucifer to seek something on Earth.

My calculations on how long Lucifer is in Hell give out a 6 month period which has been confirmed and my speculation was based on that due to the babies that play Charlie :D. So what has changed 6 months later on Earth?

As we know from Lauren German fools everyone into believing she is doing well and she is supported by Maze and why not Ella. In 5x01 there is a bts which shows Chloe at a LUX party with Maze but Maze is dressed in leather and Chloe in work clothes. In the time of Lucifer’s absence, it was hinted by DB that Amenadiel has taken over LUX but fear not as LUX is the same place it always was and Amenadiel tries to imitate Lucifer’s dressing code and kind of entertainment in the establishment. At the same time if you notice the fridge at Linda’s apartment it has some photos with Amenadiel, Linda and Charlie so the domestic life is going well on that front as well for him.

^If it’s Amenadiel it fits with the rehearsal if not then Lucifer and Chloe reunite earlier but I believe it’s Amenadiel.

Moving on as you know each episode has a case! Episode 5x01 features many different locations but I’ll start from Maze’s clothes at LUX. We do not know if the LUX scene is early in the episode and I would assume it is not. Maze’s clothes at LUX are seen in two locations LUX and at a boat where she is accompanied by Ella yet that’s not the murder scene.

^That’s the main pattern I saw at LUX day of the extras wearing.

^Josh’s photo is upside down ;)

^Just a speculation but does LInda visit LUX? No idea.

After LUX day which lasted for over 13 hours I believe it lasted in total for about 15-16h... So it’s big scene.

^Chloe shot and Lesley Ann waiting to enter the scene

Ella’s shirt is also one of the reasons why I believe that’s at the beginning of the episode as later on, she wears a yellow and then a blue shirt during the episode.

The murder scene takes place at a downtown Penthouse - not Lucifer’s - which acts as an illegal gambling establishment for rich players. If you have watched the movie Molly’s Game you will get what I mean. So let’s assume that murder happens there, the LAPD investigates the scene but afterwards, when Chloe is at the precinct she turns to Maze for some reason or Maze drags her to LUX.

Note that Lucifer looks angry perhaps even dejected according to the available bts

^No Green screen so do not expect something supernatural to happen just Lucifer infuriated giving a verbal point of how pointless everything is I presume.

Now call me a weird but there is a possibility of Ella being at the playing table BEFORE the murder case... or perhaps who could be the last person to see in Hell? Ella even for a fraction of a second? No idea again just a wild speculation...But I do not think that’s it... not entirely at least.. Aimee was well dressed at the following photo there... In my other speculation, Lucifer tries to get people to help him without involving Chloe at all.. Yet note that the dates they were posted on social media were different so we cannot be sure

Now if Ella does help with the case is it too farfetched to hope that she will spill the beans about Candy to Chloe in 5x01? Dad I HOPE SO!.

Afterwards, we see that Maze and Ella track down a rich guy on a boat. Maze is wearing the same clothes she did at LUX and I would speculate that the yacht belongs to Lee (The yacht is called the Lightbringer and is a known in L.A. yacht to rent for events etc.) with all the money he got OTHERWISE it was Lee who got killed and is the familiar face in hell and a close relative (his son?) took his fortune. You see a young black guy was hired as a guest so it is possible to assume that. There was a script page as well a blurry one but we do not know if the name was Les or Lee.. Here is the thing though... There was also a guy who looked like Jeremiah aka Lee in DTLA but I do not know if it was during the murder -if it happens there which if it does then fitting! or if he was there for his usual encounter with Lucifer...-

Now about that yacht...

Now at that yacht we have Maze kicking some not so pretty behinds and we do not know how it goes from there unfortunately but I would assume that Lucifer and Maze are reunited early on that episode perhaps around the first quarter or so.

While everything happens Lucifer visits the DTLA Penthouse - Gambling establishment and he seems pissed possibly because his money was the reason Lee was murdered if we support that theory?

From there we also have a location that was shot at the WB ranch, the place where FRIENDS shot their intro scene at the fountain and which was sold by WB yet they can still use it for the time being.

At that ranch, there is a small town set which has some middle-class houses. In one of those houses, there was a baby shower for a baby girl I suppose and is where Lucifer seeks more answers. I do not know if someone bleeds or something but they had to wash the street afterwards. The scene happens at night and Lucifer again is NOT pleased. Along with Lucifer I believe that there was also Maze and I do not know if Maze was also there in the morning shots that follow with Chloe but she had her stunt with her and her presence at the stages suggest that she may have been at the precinct as well with those clothes but that’s a speculation.

Lucifer’s car at the lot in the main WB lot not the ranch.

Now do be careful as Chloe's visit in the morning might be before Lucifer’s one at night we just do not know exactly at the moment.

^You can see Lucifer in the middle of the shot.

^I believe that’s in that house at night.

^Maze Lucifer and the Guy?

According to the guest's clothes I suspect that Chloe gets there in the morning and then Lucifer at night as he wears the exact same ones...

At this point my belief is that perhaps Maze helps Chloe, then Lucifer gets involved without Chloe realising he is there or perhaps that’s the point she sees him and Maze along with Lucifer get into a fight. The suspect might have run or perhaps Lucifer and Maze protected Chloe unfortunately we cannot know what exactly is going on.

A third speculation at the same timeframe is that Maze is reunited with Lucifer at the penthouse and they start working together from that point. The follow Chloe perhaps even save her from the suspect as he runs and then both return at night to confront him.

Now there is also a morning shooting scene there or perhaps even two as we do know that Chloe as a Detective goes to ask the guy some questions while Lucifer has some action scenes at that point.

Ellis’ and Lesley-Ann’s stunts were there and took care of the scene which needed to be delivered yet, in my opinion, there was no meet up there. I do not know if Chloe managed to take a glimpse of Lucifer or not but I assume that at that point she knows Lucifer is back but he still avoids her to spare her the pain as he probably believes he will have to go back to Hell once his quest finishes.

Fast forward we go to the last part of the episode which takes place at the DTLA Penthouse at night where Chloe appears to be on a sting operation, pretending to be a player and I would also assume that Ella is at the van guiding her through that. At the same time though we have Lucifer and Maze trying to do their own thing and Dan somewhere in the middle.

We know that it’s the final scene as there are police cars at the scene and my speculation is this.

Chloe is at the sting operation, Ella helps and Dan is also involved close by at a car. Lucifer and Maze try to gain entrance and we have a Green screen used and some wires as they were shooting two different scenes and one of them had Ellis suspended I believe from the wires. No idea if he was trying that the human way or Lucifer had enough and flew up there yet at some point the suspect break free and goes to the street.

youtube

The last part of the episode is divided in two parts. The sting operation and the second painful part

^ The building on the right with the helicopter landing space is the where the penthouse is located and the middle of the street in front of Hope park is where the conclusion of the episode was shot with some other additional scenes.

Two scenes were shot for the first time. One of them was Lucifer? lying, being levitated, using human means to climb to the penthouse? Who knows but there was a green screen behind him. Perhaps he was in the penthouse and was pushed or trying to avoid Chloe he opted to fall off? No idea.

Now at the same location, we have Ella with a messy ban like she was really into the game she might have been instructed to Chloe to play at the penthouse.

Maze’s outfit makes me wonder if Maze decided to also go undercover to help Lucifer or even Chloe we will know once it drops I’m afraid. Yet it looks like she is along with the girls at the end of the episode.

Also see javiergame4 ‘s BTS ON REDDIT AND POSTED ON IGMUR BTS

At the end, I think that the guy who Lesley-Ann was hugging was the culprit and the one who starts a chain of events.

I do believe that Dan who might be in the car waiting for the sting to end up trapped with the culprit in the car and to be eventually be throwed outside the window.

Of course, that is one interpretation as there is also the following bts Lucifer in front of the car and then the car seems to have turned so either Lucifer is the cause for the guy’s, perhaps Dan’s injury or the reason why he is paradoxically saved. Perhaps both. You can see teh green screen be used which may suggest a car chase or something which Lucifer puts into a halt. The second car I believe is Chloe’s.

^The guy ends up on the street

But someone in white seems to protect someone so we do not know what is going on. If Lucifer protects Chloe, if some power comes forward and saves Dan.

^The person in white next to the ambulance

My opinion? Chloe indeed needs help and Lucifer comes forward in a scene that reminds me a bit of Lois and Superman in Superman Returns meaning that it might be him saving her that exposes his return from Hell to her.

Chloe, Ella - see the bun behind Chloe, and Maze in front of a dead body bag coroner bed.

Also Chloe appears to be in front of the guy who gets injured... Again we assume this is the end of the episode... But someone eventually DOES die as we know from the body bag and again I would assume that it is Dan. Do not ask me why I insist on that so much but I have this gut feeling he will have a short experience with Hell which will allow him to seek a second chance like Charlotte for when Death reclaims him once more.

Now if Dan does die for a while and Lucifer has a hand in his revival it would also explain why in 5x03 or even at the end of 5x02 we have Dan and Lucifer wearing the same amethyst bracelet... Also why Lucifer cannot really leave again for the time being...

Additional info

We do know there is a woman guest with lines on the boat and the DTLA penthouse so I would keep an eye on her for the case.

Aimee Garcia was showing off Ella’s pens for the season and I have to admit that the screwdriver caught my interest for an obvious reason…

So has Amenadiel visited Lucifer at Hell? According to D.B.’s interview where he said that the character is currently busy so he has not, consider that Lucifer changing to a full Devil body in front of him may have not been the best memory he has of his baby brother. So in a way, Amenadiel might be deep down calm that the pieces have fallen into their place. He is of course sorely mistaken…

#lucifer spoilers #lucifer 5x01 #lucifer speculation #Lucifer 5x01 - Really Sad Devil Guy #Sanoiro S&S #Please do not take any of the content of this post #That Includes: Speculation #Spoilers #Videos #Photos #Do not share out of tumblr #Do not give credit #Let this stay under the radar

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bookwormdeen · 4 years

Text

LOVE 101 (Aşk 101) QUESTIONS

Babies, Sherlock here is more Watson that Holmes. Sorry. I have doubts after watching Love 101

I did a playlist to you listen while reads my crazy text.

The playlist

I put there some 1990-2000′s songs + covers + songs from the show

I don’t know turkish songs, if you know share.

1. Why Kerem and Eda were not a good marriage match?

Kerem’s family is rich and despite of his bad behavior, he could appear good in Eda’s family eyes. They wanted her to marriage thinking about money. So, why not? I guess is that Eda runs away from her romance with fight boy, which is a shame. Or maybe her family forbids it, what would be a bit plot hole becase her family want her to marry with advantage (or she got pregnant 0.0, delete this).

We can see that older Eda end up with money. I just felt weird when she were with a lot of kids (3) in the kitchen, then super stylist and with her eating disorder. Is her but it felt out of place?

2. How the old couple painting end up with Eda?

Sinan’s father took it. Is a fact. But how Eda, 20 years later comes with it as a present, if till the moment the only one who knows is Işık and Sinan? Maybe they talk about it anytime since the girls are friends and Eda likes to talk with Sinan.

My guess is that the woman that marry Sinan’s father deals with art. Because he is always taking something from the house and it is in a artistic way: porcelain, paintings. (Also, where is Sinan’s mother? TELL ME HUH).

Then, you will scream: She cried with the painting! A-ha. No. Sinan is not dead (is my opinion). She is, differently from Eda, missing them and Sinan the most. They were lovers (yay Taylor haha).

Cute. Cute

We will see their bond go deeper. They will broke up (oh,no). She loved him. You don’t forget this easily. Do you forget something you lost? No, never, especially if you have hope of finding it again.

I am becoming Mind 101.

3. The gold bracelet

Is nice. Is beautiful, but no one wants it. In the end of the season is with Kerem. But it end up with Işık. It is part of Kerem-Eda story so it will pop around again.

4. Why, WHY Işık wants to talk again?

I know. You will talk about the “promise” they made in her birthday. Except that it was more important to her that to them. She is calling them. And is because the house is falling apart. How she would know? My guess: she kept coming there to fed the dog and keep people outside. But now she entered it. Is sad. Seems like she can’t let go the past and really didn’t make a life for herself.

Also, how does she know the person that is in prison address? Maybe they fell apart by consent and knew a bit along the years about each other lives. This is unlikely. She asks them if they are happy. If she knew them, she would know.

Maybe the majority of it can be plot holes haha, the show likes to be aesthetic sometimes and get lost in logic.

Annnnd she is getting by the minute upset (she threw the bottle of wine in the wall!). If they don’t show up, she will fall apart, not really the house. I guess she arrived in the house early, made lunch and snacks. She is waiting for them and slowly tells a story.

They all will come because of Işık. They always wanted to please her somehow. Be less a villain and more sweet. Time heals folks. Whatever happened between them will be solved in this meeting (20 years later, nice emotional intelligence).

She seems to be asking to them save the house and memories: meeting + save the house (literally). I can see she ending up there with Sinan (Kerem said that hope is fucked up but here I am). Or ending up there happy to solve her past memories. It would be nice too.

Nostalgia is a two way street = nice but you feel like you lost something in the past (your youth, chances, love, time) she herself said: “births (kids).. funerals, all without each other”.

Sit down and listen to an old song, see what happens.

I would start with High School Musical but maybe you are more classic haha.

5. Who is in the door?

Man that cliffhanger! Left me angry. Sinan is not the person in the door. Why? He is the big mystery of the plot (TA-DAN) We love him, we want him to be happy most of all. Sinan was the closest person of the group to Işık, in my opinion, he will be the last. And he would not knock in his own house, thanks.

My bet is that the person that was eating by the sea is the next. Is a geography thinking: the sea is near Sinan’s house. What made no sense was him eat before getting there (if it was a lunch). But, hey! If you think that the fancy guy is Osman, it makes sense: he is always eating; low blood sugar. This only works if you think that Osman is the fancy one.

My second bet: Osman, the group leader will appear. He always knocked (I know that Kerem did too, but hold that). He is the one that has less problems with the girls and will buy time to the plot of the past grew up.

Conclusion: Osman is the next either way. Then, we can guess about the others.

Then we are left with 2 things: Kerem or Sinan were the most affected by their story? Who was really the person that got hurt so bad like prison?

6. Where, in time, are they?

Middle 2018 (narrator). Middle 1998 (my bet is that it goes till 1999).

7. Group not united after all?

Did you felt like Osman was a group glue? He proposed they unite in first place. So Osman is good with everyone and I don’t see him changing.

They have inner friendships. Eda-Sinan, Eda- Işık e Kerem-Osman. This is important. Is their safe place. The couples and Kerem-Sinan are the bit of conflict there. There is the plot folks! Only love problems will tear they apart.

8. What happened to Sinan and what made them fall apart?

SEE MY THEORIES.

Tell me what you think about this questions. I would love to hear them.

Stay safe, do Sinan/Isik edits, XOXO.

#sinan #isik #love101 #ask101 #aşk101 #love 101 #aşk 101 #netflix #love 101 netflix #işik #sinanişık

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youarejesting · 5 years

Text

Femme: 08

[MASTERLIST]

Summary: The year is now 3019. Women were going extinct, cryogenics was the only hope for society. Now Femme Industries is the provider of Females, they use computer analysis and algorithms to match a femme to her male applicants. It is common for femme’s to match with multiple applicants. When you match with seven handsome young men, it is a challenge. But you love a challenge.

Pairing: BTS - OT7 x Reader,

Starring: Big Bang, GOT7, TXT, BlackPink, NCT127 and Twice are going to be introduced and explored in later chapters.

Rating: Fluff so far

Warnings: none

Length: 1.1k words

Yoongi sighed thanking you for the meal, his long fingers tapping the bench he seemed to be forming words in his head. His mouth opened and closed silently. You watched as he licked his lips and looked up. Looking up at you he seemed to have won the silent battle.

“Uh…” A ringing sound cut him off and he pulled a phone from his pocket. He kept trying to get his hair out of his eyes and you looked at the hair elastic on your wrist and walked behind Yoongi, gently pulling the soft tresses into a tiny pineapple like pony tail on his head. “Ne, Eomma, ne, ne~”

You smiled and began checking the calendar and which the boys had all clearly marked there free days with colored markers. You were looking through all the cute cat pictures wanting to see what your month’s picture was. A feeling came over you like cold water, when your eyes caught the year. You hadn’t noticed when scrolling online and hadn’t bothered to look in the corner of Jungkook’s laptop.

3019

It hadn’t been a hundred years as you previously assumed it had been a thousand. Dropping the calendar and looking at Yoongi your mouth hanging open. He gave a quick goodbye to his mother and walked over to you. His little hair fountain jiggling with every step. You couldn’t help the Guwaff that escaped, you covered your mouth giggling.

“Okay I just realized I have been frozen for a thousand years and also your hair looks so cute” Yoongi seemed to take his time processing the sentence and he laughed touching his hair. “I am old, does this mean I am a cougar with seven boy toys?”

Yoongi threw his head back cackling. His laugh wasn’t melodic or low it was a textbook HAHA sound repeated. He didn’t know the slang words you used but he could guess the meaning from the context. “Shall I…” He had just calmed down when you wiggled your eyebrows earning a few more giggles. “Call you Noona?”

You were laughing so hard tears were running down your cheeks, you couldn’t speak but just shook your head. After you both calmed down he sighed thanking you for making him feel happier. “Do you want hear the song I made for your videos?”

Following him to his office down the hallway you had only walked down once when you first toured the house. He walked you in and sat you at the computer desk putting headphones on you. He began playing a song.

Wanting to look professional and nonchalant, you kept a straight face. Listening to the melody and creating a story that flowed. You furrowed your brow at certain points were the music didn’t follow the story line, in your head. The music came to an end and you took the head phones off and looked at him.

“I really like the flow of the song it tells a really good story but there is something off about this section here. I think maybe we might need lyrics, I really like the Bang, Bang, Bang Bang Bang the hype is good. I really think we need some lyrics there” Playing with the small bracelet on your arm from Jungkook and repeating the beats in your head. You were reading the Korean on the bracelet slowly. “Bang Tan So Nyeon Dan”

This seemed to strike a chord with Yoongi who played the song again and spoke the words you had said to the beat. “Wahh daebak” The two of you highfived and got too work making the song. There was a knock on the studio door. Popping his head inside Hoseok let out a little noise.

He was recruited pretty quickly into writing lyrics. After texting Namjoon the three sat in a room writing lyrics. Roping six boys who were home into the studio they all began recording their parts and they even pushed you in to record backing vocals.

Jin came home and was dragged into the recording room. Whining you explained this was for your videos and he listened to the song reading the lyrics. He recorded his piece and the whole song was edited into shortened intro ending at Yoongi’s ‘yonggamhaji’. Some of the boys got upset but you told them if everything went well you could release your songs online.

The next step was filming an intro, after discussing styles, everyone agreed the theme would be black and white. Each dressed and styled their hair ready. Braiding your hair and pulling on white high waisted shorts, a black baseball style that was cut as a midriff, you grinned putting on makeup.

The tripod was set up in the living room all the furniture had been moved. Jungkook sat on the couch patiently waiting. He looked nervous. You had an idea, racing to your room you took out some make up. Calling to him softly he looked up, you put on a just a tiny bit of makeup and smiled. “Go look in the mirror and tell me what you think”

“Ah Noona, gamsahabnida” His smile was shy but you could tell he felt more confident about the look. Jimin walked in his hair styled perfectly and he looked really sexy in his black silk shirt and tight black trousers.

“Waah… me too, please. Me please” he whined and hung off your arm, you did his makeup as well which lead to you doing everyone’s make up.

You had a quick photo shoot each everyone was posing and Seokjin took some of Taehyung. Going through the pictures on the computer screen you could tell Taehyung was a professional. After that you wanted to film an opening Jimin and Hoseok came up with a simple dance routine and everyone danced to the music until recording every time. Between four takes you had all the footage you needed.

“I am starving” You whined and they all froze realizing dinner had been forgotten. Ordering fried chicken and having a picnic on the tiles, everyone was soon fed. Calling it a night they all shuffled to bed. Staying up a little later you began making Lunch boxes reading off your list and checking the calendar they all were leaving tomorrow for work.

Shaping the rice like a heart and adding cute faces with seaweed you were sure they would love it. You left a note on the bench, trying your best to write in Korean for the boys to easily understand. A picture of the lunchbox posted onto social media you paused for a moment before writing the caption.

Lunch for the Bangtan Boys

Femme Media 08

Next Chapter

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slafkovskys · 5 years

Text

but everything’s the same / a. turcotte

my masterlist!

title from suitcase by mary j. blige

you watched as the raindrop slid down the window. the plane had pulled up forever ago and now you were just waiting to board, your one way ticket to chicago resting on your thigh. the image of the admissions woman’s face when you told her you had no plans of returning to wisconsin was still burned into your mind. she had asked, “are you sure?”

yes, you had said, i’ve never been more sure of anything in my life.

with a few clicks and a digital signature, you’re enrollment at wisco was no more. you hadn’t even been able to fish out your cell phone and let your parents know of your decision. you had an idea of what they were going to say. you weren’t ready for that.

you can’t help but to think of what could’ve been, just like you both used to do.

his hand interlocked with yours, both of your eyes going to where they were conjoined. the chicago noise was muffled by the walls of the hotel alex had booked. you were both just sixteen at the time and had lied to your parents about where you were going to be.

“i think i’m gonna marry you,” he had said before shaking his head, “actually, i know i’m gonna marry you.”

“how could you be so sure?” you had asked, moving your head to look up at him. “you’ve got your whole life ahead of you, al. you could find someone else.”

he shook his head and planted a kiss upon your forehead, “i don’t want anyone else. i can’t even see myself without you and i don’t want to.”

that, you think, was the first lie he told you.

you remember the day he left for michigan. you didn’t cry until his flight started boarding and he held you as you did so, saying that he wouldn’t go if you didn’t want him to. you shook your head and pushed him back lightly, telling him how big this was for him and how if he didn’t get on that plane, you would drive him to michigan yourself.

that was also the first time he’d told you he loved you.

you had to beg and plead with your parents to let you drive the four hours to plymouth alone for alex’s first game. your hotel had been booked and you had contacted jack for help with your surprise.

the plan had gone smoothly. jack had snagged you a seat where alex could see you perfectly. when they skated out for warmups, your face hurt from how hard you were smiling. you didn’t even need to be pointed out because he instantly found you and grinned back. he scored that night and pointed at you when he did.

afterwards, you met up in the lobby and you had asked, “how did you know where i was? did jack tell you?”

“nope,” he buried his face in your hair, “i look for you in every crowd.”

now, you wonder how many other girls he had said that same phrase to.

there was a little girl sitting beside her dad across from you. she had on a little floral dress and a pair of sandals. not particularly airport attire, but it held her back none as she giggled and bounced around the terminal. her eyes caught yours and you sent her your best smile.

she slid off her seat and walked the little distance to you. she puts her hand on your knee, “i’m ivey. what’s your name.”

“hi ivey,” you hold out your hand, “i’m y/n.”

“are you sad, y/n? you look sad.” you try and shake your head but the tears that spill out of your eyes betray you. “you’re sad. why?”

“just,” you sniffle, “grown up things i guess.”

she huffs and goes over to her dad, pulling a stuffed bunny from a bag and bringing it over to you. “here you go. when i get sad, i just hug bunny and i get better. sometimes daddy hugs me too. you can hold bunny until you get better and if you don’t have someone to hug you, can i?”

your eyes flick up to her father who sends you a nod. you look back down to the little girl, “i’d really like that, ivey.”

you had applied to wisco the same time as alex did. alex didn’t have any problems because he had been scouted before hand, but you had to spend your nights worrying. you were the one left to lose sleep over what if you didn’t get in. what if everything you two had been talking about since you were kids was only just a dream.

you had kept it a secret from alex when your acceptance letter came in the mail. you waited until he was in chicago for christmas and handed him the envelope. you both sat on the floor of his livingroom, criss cross applesauce and you were biting your lip.

he tore open the envelope and unfolded the paper. you watched as his eyes scanned over it before they flicked up to you. he’d asked, “are you serious?”

you nodded with a grin and erupted into laughter as he tackled you to the floor. he laid on top of you as he peppered your face with kisses. “we’re gonna be together.”

“just like we talked about.”

you can’t help but wonder if he still loved you then.

ivey held onto your hand as your other gripped onto the white fur of the stuffed animal. she was four, loved unicorns and the color pink, and had a best friend named mary. she was on her way home to her mother from visiting her sick grandmother.

the plane would be boarding soon and she had asked what seat you were gonna be in. coincidentally, you were on the same row as her and her father. she nodded and grinned up at you, “good. i can still hold your hand.”

you heard the rumors.

you had many dms telling you of what you had refused to believe was true. he loves you. he would never do that.

you never questioned him until a girl from michigan sent you a dm with a picture attached. it was a picture of alex sitting on a stool in some basement with a girl between his spread legs. you confronted him, chill and mellow and just asking for the truth to which he responded with a shrug and a “bad angle” excuse.

you hung up the phone and threw it across the room. the next day when you got home from school, a vase of flowers was sitting on your kitchen counter with a box that had a bracelet inside. you never brought it up afterwards.

that night though, was the first of many where you cried over alex.

ivey had offered to share her skittles with you. her father, dan you had learned was his name, remarked how she never shared her skittles with anyone.

you felt honored.

she asked you to color with her and even loaned you a blue when you needed to color the sky in. she insisted tigers were purple and lions were green as she colored both in and you told her no different.

you wished you could go back to this stage of innocence. you’d be in a lot less pain.

things only got worse when you finally got to wisconsin. you and alex got an apartment together and he started his freshman season. you were alone frequently but it didn’t really bother you. you made friends to keep you company when your best friend was gone.

you’d get dms from girls in different states with screenshots and videos of alex asking them to hookup. one girl had even sent one where she asked about his girlfriend. he had said it wasn’t anything serious.

you had never been the type to go through his phone, but after that when he’d left it abandoned, you put in his passcode and turned on his location and that, that was your worst mistake.

the plane started boarding five minutes after it was supposed to. when the announcement was made, your new friend looked up at you with wide, blue eyes, “can we still color on the plane?”

“of course,” you promised and she held out her pinky. you wrapped your larger one around hers and she nodded, darting over with her coloring book to dan. you sighed before standing, collecting your own things. you grabbed you pursue and the handle of your carryon before wheeling over to the desk.

you hear a familiar giggle behind you and you turn and crane your head down, “we have the same colored suitcase!”

and, indeed, you had matching yellow suitcases. only hers had some characters from some kids show that you insisted was much cooler than your plain one.

she nodded, “kinda sorta.”

you should’ve ended it back when you saw the picture of the girl between his legs. you should’ve never applied to wisco. you should’ve never accepted his stupid apology gifts. you should’ve told him to fuck off a long time ago.

he said he was just going out with some teammates for a bite to eat after practice. “okay,” you had said, watching as he grabbed his keys, “could you bring me back-”

“a cake batter shake?” he interrupted and turned to face you with a grin. he strides over and leans down to kiss your forehead and then your lips. he hovers over you and smiles lightly, “i love you.”

“i love you too, alex. a whole lot.” you add on the extra bit and watch as he leaves out of the door. instantly, you texted owen asking when practice would be over.

we don’t have practice today? is what he responded.

that’s when you knew. you waited a few minutes and looked up the first flight out of wisco. before you bought your ticket, you looked at where he was.

just for shits and giggles.

when you saw he was at you knew to be a sorority house at four o’clock on a weekday, you nodded and clicked your tongue. you went back and bought your ticket and just stared at the ceiling.

you were there for a while before you stand up and go back to the bedroom the two of you had shared. your eyes linger on the bed where you’d made love only just the night before.

you opened the closet door and pulled out your suitcases. your grabbed your clothes and took time putting them away. the thought crossed your mind to just slash all of his things. rip them apart to mirror the way your heart felt in this exact moment, but you didn’t.

you wouldn’t stoop to his level.

the line moved as quick as you would have expected it to. you began to make small talk with dan as it moved, still holding onto the bunny. both your heads shoot towards where a deep voice shouted, “hey!”

dan rushes to put ivey behind him and you catch her look at you confused. a look of absolute dread crosses your face as you hear the familiar shout of your name, “y/n!”

and there he is. in the same clothes you’d left him in with same disheveled hair and a red mark blooming on his cheek. he spots you and runs toward you, but security stops him. they grab him by the arms as he bags, “baby, please don’t leave. i swear to god i’ll change. i love you so much.”

the security man holding his left arm looks at you, “do you know him?”

you looked at the boy whose eyes were pleading. the boy whom you’d loved for almost half your life and responded, “no sir. i have never seen him before in my life.”

you heard the door open three hours later. alex called your name as you shut your larger suitcase. he walks into the bedroom and freezes, “what’s going on?”

“i’m done.” is all you say, going over the nightstand and grabbing your laptop. you wrap up the cord as he stutters out his response.

“wha- what do you mean you’re done? with what?”

“with you. with us. with wisco. with all of this.” you shove your laptop in your bag and push past him into the living room.

he follows you like a puppy, “why?”

“are you serious?” you snap and turn to face him. “i gave you everything, alex. i was at every game i could be. i missed important shit so that i could support you. i worked my ass off just so i could come and visit you in michigan. i could’ve done what you’ve done to me a few times, but i didn’t. do you know why i didn’t, alex? because i loved you.”

that’s when the color drains from his face, “baby, just stay. let me explain.”

you push past him again, “there’s no reason for me to stay, alex. it took me too many years to see the truth, but i finally have. i refuse to be used by you.”

you’re in the bedroom when he grabs your elbow and you can’t even comprehend what happened before you’re hand goes across his face. he grabs his cheek and looks at you wide eyed. you shook your head and put your cases on the ground, “i wish that i had never met you.”

when you land in chicago and your time with ivey had come to an end, you handed her back the bunny rabbit. “are you happy now, y/n?”

“yeah, ivey,” you smile and rub the top of her head, “actually, i think i’m the happiest i’ve been in a while.”

#alex turcotte #alex turcotte imagine #nhl imagine #hockey imagine #my work

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nightquills · 4 years

Text

happy birthday, neil

once the upperclassmen + nicky begin to comprehend the degree to which neil’s childhood absolutely Sucked, they band together to give him a lot of the stereotypical birthday parties that he missed out on growing up

and let’s be real, none of the other foxes had particularly easy childhoods either. it’s a chance for them all to do the things that they wish they could have when they were younger too

there’s some debate over whether to celebrate on neil’s real birthday, or the one that he chose when he first became neil josten

on one hand, they want to respect the truth that he’s given them about who he really is, and maybe celebrating in january would show their appreciation for that?

but they also know that his real birthday doesn’t have the best associations for neil, and they wonder if it would be better to pick the newer date that doesn’t have those shadows hanging over it

(and when dan asked neil about it in TKM, he said that they could do something for march 31st)

maybe enough time has passed since last year’s bullshit with riko and neil’s father, though?

ultimately they decide fuck it—january 19th and march 31st are far enough away that they can justify celebrating both to themselves

bowling party!!!

it should come as no surprise that neil gets super competitive over it and promptly decides he is in it to win it. despite the fact that he has never bowled in his life before

give the boy an A for effort, but every other ball goes in the gutter

cue the teasing asking if he wants one of those ramp things for children to help him line it up, to which neil pouts very extensively

renee comes out on top every single game

when asked how she does it, she says that she used to chaperone a lot of the activities for the kids at her church, and bowling was a pretty common one

allison complains about how gross and outdated the bowling shoes are. and honestly? she’s right

andrew tries to subtly flex on everyone by picking one of the heaviest bowling balls, and neil laughs when he notices

there’s something about bowling alley pizza that always slaps, so of course they order pizzas to split between them all

kevin has worn himself out trying to convince everyone to eat more healthy food, so he just orders a pizza with literally every available vegetable on it. he’s the only one that eats any of it, bless his heart

of course the foxes get into the famed debate over whether pineapple is an appropriate pizza topping. it gets very loud

arcade party!!!

they originally wanted to do chuck-e-cheese but they realize that the complete lack of children in their group rules that out

aaron and andrew do not appreciate the suggestion that they might be short enough to pass for children, thanks, go fuck yourself

they do find another arcade though

there’s a laser tag room in this one, but they quickly realize that that’s probably not the best idea for a person who has literally been shot at multiple times in the past. so they skip that

neil and kevin get in a skee ball competition

kevin tries to lecture neil about proper technique. “you have got to be fucking kidding me,” neil says

matt teaches neil how to do dance dance revolution

matt is very good. neil almost falls on his face because he’s not using the railings at first

allison loves venting her rage via whack-a-mole

dan is the queen of pac-man

andrew and aaron team up against nicky and renee for air hockey

the whole group tries to test their athlete reflexes on that one game where you have to slam the button to stop it as close to the jackpot as possible

andrew actually does hit the jackpot, and everyone is freaking out as he just stands there and stoically stares at the machine spewing out the tickets

they pool all the tickets they’ve won together at the end so that neil can pick a prize for himself

he gets a lava lamp, and he has just enough left over to get a little alien keychain that he promptly moves all of keys over to

build-a-bear party!!!

to the surprise of literally no one, neil chooses the fox

he’s given a hard time when he goes to choose the clothes for it. “neil, you better not dress him as badly as you do yourself” says allison, to widespread agreement from everyone else

andrew picks a rabbit, to which neil pointedly raises his eyebrow

andrew deadpan says “aesthetic” as he grabs a little leather jacket to dress it

kevin complains about the lack of exy paraphernalia to dress up for his tiger

dan says that maybe he could stop by the school store on campus and get one of the school pride baby t-shirts they sell there

kevin pouts but eventually settles for a pirate look instead

aaron makes a koala in a cheer outfit to give to katelyn

dan gets a t-rex and dresses it up like a rockstar

matt gets a bernese mountain dog and a boxing outfit

renee gets a frog and puts it in a pastel skirt and shirt combo

allison gets a hippo and a sequin dress with the matching headband

nicky dresses his bear in a pink rainbow heart hoodie, surprising absolutely no one

imagine all the foxes looking at each other and trying not to crack up as they do the little stuffing/heart ceremony

god bless the poor employee that has to deal with their shit, honestly

karaoke party!!!

nicky is the most excited to do it, but he also takes forever to decide what song to do because there are so many he wants to sing

eventually he decides that you can’t go wrong with queen or bi-con freddie mercury, so he does “don’t stop me now”

the girls all decide to sing a song together—allison convinces them to do “how to be a heartbreaker”

matt is literally the personification of the heart eyes emoji as he watches dan sing

matt gets neil to do a duet with him, and they end up doing a very overblown rendition of “don’t go breaking my heart”

dan makes a joke about feeling jealous, so matt serenades her with “treasure”

she won’t admit it over her laughter, but she’s actually very touched

renee does a lovely rendition of “rhiannon”

aaron sings “time to pretend”

everyone makes fun of kevin’s taste in music when he sings “other side”

he is dubbed “kevin ‘dad rock’ day” from that point on

andrew flatly refuses to sing and no one is really willing to try and convince him on that one

though he may not show it, he actually is very much enjoying seeing his teammates make fools of themselves

nicky make little party bags to pass around, including the stereotypical party bag favors

little temporary tattoos

cue everyone teaming up to make fun of kevin by putting the gaudiest, sparkliest ones on their cheeks to make fun of his chess piece

little containers of bubbles with animals on the lids

imagine andrew getting annoyed with someone and blowing bubbles in their face with the most unimpressed fucking expression on his face until they shut up

friendship bracelets

they laugh when they see them, but don’t let that fool you—almost everyone puts them on right away

glow stick necklaces

bouncy balls, which are inevitably taken to the next team practice and used to wreak havoc. poor wymack, honestly

annoying party blowers

neil makes it his mission to sneak up on matt and blow it right in his ear, because matt jumps literally every single time

a fuckton of candy

andrew would never say it, but he likes the goodie bags just for this fact alone

neil not so sneakily sneaks all of his candy into andrew’s bag

wacky sunglasses, which they promptly use to take a number of increasingly ridiculous group photos

they decide to do cupcakes instead of a real cake so that everyone can get the kind that they want

since neil isn’t a big sweets fan, they always get him one of those little fruit tarts instead

when neil blows out the candles, his wish is that he’ll have the chance to make more happy memories with his family just like this

neil’s favorite part isn’t actually doing any of the things at his birthday parties; his favorite part is really that his friends were all together and laughing, and he saves every single picture taken

>ao3<

#all for the game #aftg #the foxhole court #neil josten #my writing #i am for once on time with my writing!!!#i can already tell that tumblr has messed up the formatting on this so pls click through to the ao3 if it's appearing totally fucked up haha #ognqs

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ohwhoopsok · 6 years

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I don't know if you take suggestions for your fics but i had a thought for The Unloved Kids: adult pacifiers???

ASIDFKJDF OK HI LET’S TALK, I’M GONNA RAMBLE THIS IS BASICALLY A COMMENT FIC SORRY

Tangential, but: I had the random thought a while ago for someone to get Aaron chewelry and you’ve made me think about that spiraling.

Like, he and Neil are trying to make nice, right? So Neil notices Aaron grinds his teeth/chews his pens when he’s upset, and later notices this girl in class chewing on her bracelet and is like “huh… that looks like it was made for that” and asks her about it. (She’s probably alarmed as shit because Neil’s Not Great at being comforting to strangers yet, but he’s not making fun and she sees that, so she explains. She talks to him in class now which he as Neutral feelings about, she’s nice enough and doesn’t stare at his scars.)

And so he’s going to order one for Aaron, but then he thinks about the Twins having an actually twins little aesthetic and adds one to the card for Andrew, too. But then he sees one that’s a pirate coin and thinks about Dan who doesn’t really chew things, but he has seen her with the strings of her hoodies between her lips when she’s thinking. And also, Nicky sometimes puts his fingers/Bun-Bun’s ears in his mouth and just– He saves the site for later, he’s thinking too hard.

Then Girl-From-Class gets a new piece and it’s a pendant she can put all the way in her mouth. She gets sheepish and says, “Well, at least it’s not a pacifier, right? [nervous laughter]” and Neil is like… well, maybe not for a college student, but what about a little?

Because now he’s thinking about how Andrew doesn’t like to speak much anyway and he’d be darling with a pacifier, and how he remembers seeing a baby with a “Little Princess” pacifier and Kevin could stand to have his mouth occupied sometimes, when he’s feeling awkward/fussy.

But he doesn’t know how gifts work, so he asks Allison. Who probably cries because that’s the sweetest thing she’s ever heard and now he’s trying to deal with a crying Allison who is essentially squealing yes do it, I’m stealing the idea.

So he buys some stuff, at least for the monsters, and decides to get a paci for himself, too. (This is really more money than he should be spending, but he’s dating Andrew effectively rich so.) Then as soon as he hits “confirm order” he’s !!!!!!! and he calls Wymack wigging out because “I bought Kevin a pacifier????” to which Wymack replies “…what.” But he talks Neil out of his minor freakout because that’s very sweet of you, Neil, even if he doesn’t use it, I’m sure he’ll appreciate what it stands for, don’t worry, kiddo, you’ll be cute with yours, too.

And when they arrive, the box is discreet enough that he doesn’t die getting it from the mail room, but coming into the dorm with it is not subtle, because Neil doesn’t buy stuff and Nicky is Nosy, so he’s fidgeting with it before he just decides to rip it open and hand things out.

Aaron doesn’t know what chewelry is, but goes soft pink when Neil explains and hands him his dinosaur track pendant. Kevin nearly chokes on his food when he sees the honest to goodness, fucking pacifier in Neil’s hands. But his face sort of crumbles when he’s actually holding it and sees the like… “daddy’s lil princess” across the back or something, because he wants it, he loves it.

Andrew doesn’t really say anything, but he takes his pacifier–it says “lil’ monster” of course–and his (arrowhead?) pendant without making a big deal about it. He doesn’t even cock an eyebrow at Neil, just takes them and looks at them and then at Neil for a long time.

Nicky is excited about his emoji pendant and is hugging and kissing Neil and telling him he’s so sweet and nice and thank you very, very much, cutie! (Because he can tell Neil is nervous and he’s very good at taking attention from people who don’t want it all on them.)And yet, “What did you get?”

Neil probably would be inclined to get a plain one, but then he’d remember it’s for little space and figure why not get something a little quirky? His paci has got a little mute symbol on it and Nicky awes and laughs and Neil is feeling very small and sweet so he hides his face in Nicky’s shoulder.

Kevin says he’s going to ask Wymack for a onesie day and steps out of the main room for a bit. Before he leaves, though, he squeezes Neil’s hand. He doesn’t quite look like he’s going to cry, but something’s got his voice, so Neil just squeezes back and lets him step out.

Allison is blowing up Neil’s phone because her order came in, too, and ok she looks super cute, too, Neil asks if he can save the picture of her with a heart between her teeth. Nicky and Aaron go to the sink to wash their new chewelry.

“You could use a mute button,” Andrew says. He doesn’t open either one of his just then, but he kisses Neil and signs, [Thank you] like he means it.

Once they’re at Wymack’s, he does some fussing over them. Neil’s makes him actually laugh out loud and ruffle his hair. When Kevin shyly offers up his paci for Wymack to see, Wymack smiles–maybe has to fight some tears, so sue him, his heart is melting–and washes it off for him, before popping it right in his mouth. “Darn right, that’s my little princess,” he says and lets Kevin hide in his arms when he blushes scarlet.

They’re all doing a fair amount of cooing at each other, too. Allison did get Dan a pirate coin, Matt has a bright green light saber and is STOKED about it, Rene has a purple pacifier to match her purple elephant clipped to the front of her onesie.

When nap time rolls around, Neil is already laying with Allison curled into his back, finding that mouthing on his pacifier is actually sort of soothing. Then Andrew lays down and it very nearly wakes Neil up to see him with his pacifier in his mouth, too. But Andrew looks too aware of himself, of how he must look in a way he’s normally not, lets himself be vulnerable that way, so Neil tries not to look too wide-eyed. Instead he cocks his head, yes or no?

Andrew looks confused, but he nods, he trusts and Neil loves him so ffff much. He leans forward to bump their pacifiers together in a nuzzly little not-kiss that makes Andrew huff, relaxing it. He can pretend it’s annoyance all he wants, Neil knows what his amusement sounds like, he knows what his love sounds like, too. That was both.

On the other end of the sandwich, Aaron is chewing absently his pendant, not really sleepy, but more than happy to relax for a while. Kevin does look sleepy, though, and while normally Aaron isn’t big on being close up while they’re napping it just….dude…..Kevin is in a pink onesie with a pacifier in his mouth, looking droopy about the eyes and….look…….Aaron is a Grown Man but not when he’s little ok and Kevin is goddamn cute and looks like he should be cuddled. So Aaron waves his hand to get his attention and signs slow, [Can we touch?]

Kevin blinks a little, spells, [C-u-d-d-l-e?] And when Aaron nods, he holds his lion out of the way and pulls Aaron close. Aaron would like to think he maintains some dignity in all this, but he’s…he’s short… So if he winds up tucked into Kevin’s chest, shut up about it.

Wymack would normally take nap time to do some quick work or something, but this time around he lays on the sofa and just sort of watches all this happen. He watches them all squish together, some sucking pacifiers, some just cuddling with their faces pressed into the fabrics of their friends pajamas or their stuffies, warm and close, safe and happy.

Kevin meets his eyes over Aaron’s head and Wymack smiles, his insides gone warm and liquid-soft as Kevin’s pacifier bobs with his tiny smile before his face sags gently and he falls asleep just like that.

…you know, i had an “end” chapter in mind for TUK already, but… I don’t know, I’ve never done a story like this before! Do I just keep adding things after the ending? Hm… Is that what series are for? Who knows, not me!! But I just made this plot up on the fly so I might clean it up and make it a oneshot… hm.

Anywhichwho! Thank you for the suggestion, it’s cute, I love it.

#asks #whoops' words #TFC //#TUK #i'm a long winded bastard aren't i?

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forestlyprince · 7 years

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A gift for @wildsfoxes for the @aftgexchange. I’m so sorry about how late it is! It’s kind of a weird headcanon-fic-hybrid thing, but I used the prompt of Neil Christmas shopping for the foxes for the first time. Anyways, I hope you like it! Happy Holidays!

We’re going shopping, the text reads. At first Neil is kind of confused because he and Allison have standing shopping dates, on the first Saturday of each month (unless they have a game, in which case it becomes the first Sunday) and today is neither a Saturday nor the first weekend of the month. It’s a Wednesday.

Why? he sends back, before turning his attention back to the exy game on his laptop. He’s been watching some of the Foxes’ past games to try and figure out what the major issues are and what drills he can introduce to practice to help fix it. They’d won the game, but barely and he was tired of hearing Kevin complain.

Because it’s almost Christmas and also because I want to. Come meet me outside.

He thinks about it for a moment and then closes his laptop with a sigh. Andrew has class right up until his meeting with Betsy but he messages him quickly, just to let him know where Neil is going, and then pulls on his shoes, grabs his keys and wallet, and is out the door.

Shopping with Allison is nice—it always is. Normally, she’ll pick a store and then they’ll separate for a few minutes while they look around, and then come back together with heaps of clothing in their arms. Some of it for themselves, some of it for each other, occasionally something for one of the other Foxes. Allison is good about respecting Neil’s boundaries when it comes to clothes, but also introducing him to new styles and colors. And somehow she always finds the softest clothing?? He doesn’t understand how she does it, but all but one of his favorite sweaters are from her. And his fuzzy socks.

This time, though, they separate with the intention of staying separate for a while.

“I’m buying presents for everyone and I don’t want you to see!”

“Why not?”

“Because some of them are for you and also I don’t want any of the surprises ruined.”

He almost opened his mouth to remind her that he was one of the best secret-keepers on their team, but the look she gave him just made him shrug and nod, a small smile on his face. This would work for him.

“Meet in the Food Court in an hour or so?” Neil asked.

“Yeah, for sure.” And then she’s gone, pushing through the crowd and past the Auntie Anne’s kiosk and into a Hot Topic of all things.

He wasn’t sure he wanted to know who she was shopping for in there.

He also wasn’t sure where to start, now that he was on his own. He had a vague idea of what he wanted to get everyone, but this was also his first time going Christmas shopping and somehow that made the whole thing feel more significant.

As he went around to the various shops, Neil kept thinking about what to get everyone. What did people normally get for the friends, they’re family? Last year Nicky had gotten him and Andrew matching coats but that wouldn’t work for anyone on the team. And he already had Andrew’s gift.

In the end, all of the gifts Neil bought were things that, when he passed them, called out to him.

Matt had started cooking a lot this year, taking classes and watching shows and trying to recreate the recipes he found. The knife set Matt had (from Walmart, bought during his sophomore year) was falling apart, though. So Neil bought him a new one, state-of-the-art, with amazing reviews and more different sizes and kinds than Neil thought any chef might ever need.

When he first saw it, he’d felt a flash of fear, his whole body freezing as he remembered the last time he’d been this close to a knife. And then he realized that these were for Matt. Matt who would never hurt anyone, especially not Neil.

Dan’s gift was easier—the newest Harry Potter Page-To-Screen book, as well as the new illustrated Prisoner of Azkaban. Her gifts were finished with something he’d bought online last week, a spa weekend trip for her and Matt. She loved Harry Potter, and she’d been talking a lot this semester about how she wanted to go somewhere and get pampered for once. Neil hoped it wasn’t too weird of a thing to give someone.

Allison’s gifts were simpler. Things she might have, and probably could have, bought for herself if she’d thought to. A set of unicorn themed make-up brushes, a soft and shimmery holographic jacket (Neil mentally reviewed the rules of what made something Holo as he looked at the jacket. Allison had made him watch a youtuber to try and teach him the difference between holo and iridescent “Because this is something all of my friends, especially you, need to know.” The jacket reflected the colors of the rainbow, so he hoped it was right), and a soft rose-colored beanie with cat ears on its head.

For Renee, Neil found a set of teas he’d heard her talking about, as well as a pastel-colored tea infuser, and finished it up with a rose quartz bracelet.

Nicky’s gift was a simple lamp set, made for long-distance relationships that when one lamp was touched the other would glow. Erik was coming to visit them for the Holidays, and Neil hoped that they both liked the gift.

Aaron and Neil weren’t quite friends, but their relationship had been improving steadily since the trial over the summer. At first, Neil was stuck on what to get him, until he walked past a simple but beautiful leather doctor’s bag. Maybe a bit preemptive, since Aaron was still only a Pre-Med student, but Neil hoped that one day soon he’d be able to use it. Along with the bag, he found a white mug with the words “Keep Calm I’m (almost) a Doctor” on it, and snagged that up as well.

Kevin was probably the simplest. Neil got him a couple of books on the minor wars fought prior to the 20th century, as well a giftcard to the Cheesecake Factory (one of Thea’s favorite restaurants [and Kevin’s too, although he never admitted it. The boy just really likes cheesecake]).

For the Coach, Neil bought a new pocket knife (since the man’s old one had been lost recently at one of their away games) and a set of wood blocks made for whittling. He didn’t quite understand his Coach’s fascination with whittling, but it had apparently been a thing for a couple of months now. He also threw in a bottle of expensive whiskey.

Finally, Abby’s present was two-fold. First, a ton of kid-themed bandaids including Star Wars, Superheroes, and Disney Princess, with a note apologizing for using so many last year. Then Neil picked up a star-wars themed coffee-press and waffle-maker. She’d been wanting a new waffle-maker, and she hadn’t stopped talking about the new Star Wars movie since the first trailer came out.

It was weird, carrying all of the bags (who knew a mall had so many stores??) to the food court, the one with tubes of wrapping paper banging against his shoulder every step he took. In years past, the holidays had barely been a blip on his radar. He and his mom had never exchanged presents. Had only ever known that it was Christmas time because of the ceaseless snow, annoying music, and too-bright twinkling lights everywhere they went.

Now, though, he kind of relished in it. The music (some of it at least) had a nice melody to it. The lights were actually quite pretty. And South Carolina had yet to see any snow, but if they did, he was looking forward to the possible snow-ball fights that might ensue.

So much had changed.

It wasn’t just him and his mom anymore. He wasn’t on the run, or at Evermore. He had a family, and a bright orange tower to return to. A home.

It was nice.

#aftg exchange #the foxhole court #all for the game #tfc #aftg #neil josten #aftg exchange 2017 #okay to reblog #palmetto state foxes

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xranker · 5 years

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What's Missing From Your Content Marketing Tech?

What’s Missing From Your Content Marketing Tech? Content marketing experts are a unique bunch When we asked Content Marketing World presenters about what’s missing in most content marketers’ tech stack, some waxed poetic, others imagined the possibilities, and others got practical, talking products and output That’s why we love them – a diverse group of answers means a diverse group of thinkers “Every content marketer is missing something from their tech stack Content marketing is a delicate, interconnected ecosystem – you have to have the right technology for each aspect of the process,” says Scott Spjut , assistant vice president, social and digital content, Fifth Third Bank To tackle this, we’ve divided this post into three categories: Tools you can use now General concepts for tools that exist or should exist Non-tech ideas that affect (or should impact) your content tech stack Whether you’re looking for a new tool, imagining tools to create (or wishing they existed), or think tech is overrated, these responses will resonate 13 content marketing tech tools you can use now For pulling third-party content A great news aggregator like Feedly – Michaela Alexis , LinkedIn speaker, trainer, and co-author of Think Video For identity, insight, governance A data lake to bring together data from web analytics, marketing automation, and CRM – and tie it to an identity, plus: LiveRamp – identity resolution work PathFactory – for content insight and activation Acrolinx – active content governance (Disclosure: those three are Velocity clients but we’re huge believers) – Doug Kessler , co-founder, Velocity Partners For indexing and security Index Checking is a good way to see whether a page is indexed or whether you’re blocking it (sometimes developers forget to remove a noindex used during a redesign) SSL Check is helpful for sites that move toward HTTPS but have page elements like images that aren’t in secure directories The tool discovers the pages with issues.. – Mike Murray , president, Online Marketing Coach For Instagram scheduling Planoly for scheduling out Instagram posts – Griffin Thall , CEO and co-founder, Pura Vida Bracelets For real-life talk Talking to customers, where the tool involved is called the telephone Of course, one could also use Skype, Zoom, and related tools I like to build a complete picture of my customers, including aspects of their jobs (or lives) that extend beyond the use of my products or services – Dennis Shiao , consultant, Dennis Shiao Consulting For all to see Microsoft Excel or Tableau – a platform that gives marketing visibility into the other business units, such as sales and insights – Christine Michel Carter , creator, Mompreneur and Me For project management I use Trello as a workflow and project management tool Every project needs a tool or space that is a single point of truth – here’s the latest version, here’s all the related commentary, and here are the next steps – as at-a-glance as possible. – Jonathan Crossfield , chief consulting editor, Chief Content Officer magazine 21 content tech tool concepts Artificial intelligence I see marketers shy away from AI-powered marketing technology and startups until the adoption is higher. But now is the time to embrace the speed, insights, and agility AI-powered technology has to offer and get ahead of competitors – Jeff Coyle , co-founder and chief product officer, MarketMuse Bots-plus Co-bots are technologies designed to work best when paired with humans’ empathy, intuition, and judgment In contrast, black-box robot technologies are hard to explain or learn. Once set up, they tempt people to stop thinking and work on autopilot That’s why robots can be dangerous – George Stenitzer , founder and chief content officer, Crystal Clear Communications Content management Marketing operations need to consider a solid CMS Along with providing a place to document and track workflow of content production , setting up a CMS with the proper information to track for each piece of content developed can provide insight into the activity of published content, as well as a road map to content planning for the future – Pamela Muldoon , campaign and content strategist, The Pedowitz Group Organization and collaboration I don’t think there are enough brands focused on the efficiencies a CMP can bring to your organization Being more organized and collaborative helps you create better content – Zari Venhaus , director, corporate marketing communications, Eaton CMS focused on sales Sales-oriented content management systems that allow for appropriate seller tailoring – Seleste Lunsford , chief research officer, CSO insights, research division of Miller Heiman Group Texting Given the adoption of messaging by people (consumers and business professionals), a text messaging platform that is owned will be important for conversational marketing programs in the near term And you’ll want it to be yours, rather than Facebook Messenger – grow your own opt-in list/audience Chat is great. SMS/MMS can take it up a level when done well – Ardath Albee , CEO and B2B marketing strategist, Marketing Interaction Inc Away from the internet Offline sales or traffic attribution is a big investment, but we are too far into the data-driven future to still be guessing at how we place our media or how we evaluate our digital campaigns Walk-in traffic verification or look-back attribution matching can help us know what really drove the number we care about most: sales! – Jessica Best , vice president of data-driven marketing, Barkley All-in-one engagement analytics One-stop engagement platform that would pull in all engagements, regardless of where they occur, social, web (own), web (third party – think guest posts), etc would give the content creator a perfect picture of their most engaged fans – Tom Martin , president, Converse Digital All-in-one project management A tool that truly integrates all channels and workflows – Christoph Trappe , chief content officer, Stamats Business Media Process analysis Something that’s missing way too often is a tool that offers the ability to measure and optimize the process of content marketing It might be a project management tool , an Agile tool, or just a good old-fashioned whiteboard, but having access to basic efficiency data is shockingly rare for content marketers We need to know how long things take, where the bottlenecks are, who’s holding us up – pretty much just a snapshot of how our operations are going Without that basic level of information, we’re stuck when it comes time to try and figure out how to do more in less time – Andrea Fryrear , Agile marketing coach and trainer, co-founder, AgileSherpas Audience knowledge Audience data collection and analysis to drive story topics, execution, and distribution are needed Marketers often don’t have access to audience insights and are thus engaging in guesswork about what will resonate with their intended audience At The Washington Post, due to our state-of-the-art tech and audience surveys, we are fortunate to have access to data about audience behavior and interests We then use this data to inform the entire creative and promotion process, from selecting the right story topics to type of content to distribution strategy It’s all about the marriage of science and art Our program for Destination Canada illustrates this We found that people who are engaging in travel content are also reading a lot of food and history content This guided our decision to focus the story on a chef traveling to Canada to learn about his culinary roots – Annie Granatstein , head of WP BrandStudio, The Washington Post Reverberation Without a doubt, the ability to know what content is resonating, either by individual channel or by owned media content This is a giant blind spot I experienced for myself, and one of the reasons I wrote software for Trust Insights to fix it – Chris Penn , c o-founder, Trust Insigh ts Full-picture understanding More and more marketers express a desire for a smarter, more in-depth understanding of their metrics , but most have not invested in the tools (and customizations) to bring all their data into one cohesive system If your information is in three places and you can only look at them in PDF form, are you really getting the full picture? Can you answer the important questions your organization needs to answer? – Zontee Hou , co-lead of consulting, Convince & Convert Buyer journey analysis Few content marketers have the technology in place to accurately implement multi-touch attribution and understand all the points of contact in the buyer’s journey And that’s a bummer because it means we are too often giving too much or too little credit to pieces of content in our library and making decisions based on partial data – Erika Heald , marketing consultant, Erika Heald Consulting Efficient and effective distribution Despite tagging and other methods of ordering content, I feel there is a huge need for a platform that can sort and deliver the right content at the right time This (likely AI) platform would access all your content (blogs, podcasts, videos, whitepapers, etc) organize and sort it, and then deliver the perfect piece of content to the sales professional depending on who they are engaging on what level of the buyer’s journey I spend far too much time sorting through my own blog and YouTube channel to find exactly the right article to deliver when I see a buying activity online – Viveka von Rosen , chief visibility officer, Vengreso Listening Social listening , specifically for smaller companies with smaller marketing budgets Social listening is a great tool not just for understanding the sentiment surrounding your business but also for being able to act on that, including creating the right kind of content In the rush to create and to publish, this is something that can get missed – Dan Hatch , founder, Typeset Script crafting Script creation is important if you’re doing video and animation work because crafting good content for the visual medium is different than just straight-up content writing – Ben H Rome , manager, marketing and communications, AIHA Idea generation Content marketers need tools to help them understand what content to create – Michael Brenner , CEO, Marketing Insider Group Dollars and sense A tool to quantify the ROI of content It’s important to ensure the back-end is integrated so that you can see the content the sales team uses and the content prospects read – Pam Didner , B2B marketing consultant and author, Effective Sales Enablement Revenue effect I think most marketers are missing a tool that helps measure the impact of their content on the revenue they generate… what tool is it? Unfortunately, I don’t think that tool exists – Andrew Davis , author, The Loyalty Loop, Brandscaping, and Town Inc Content value chain I haven’t found a tool to measure the whole value chain of content marketing as it relates to business goals We’re awash in data and analytics but I’ve found nothing that allows you to measure the activity and results in your content marketing ecosystem against business goals – Sarah Mitchell , founder, Typeset A few less-techy thoughts Measure for now Are your KPIs still stuck in the sales funnel developed in 1924? Or are you considering the modern buyer’s journey ? (Today’s buyer has been described as “adlergic” and many are reading blogs before interacting with a sales rep..) Make sure you’re gauging content marketing success with the right tools and with KPIs that fit today’s buyer, not yesteryear’s – Julia McCoy , CEO, Express Writers Connections Authentic engagement is the tool that is most often lacking in the content marketing effort. – Yadin Porter de Leon , global executive content strategist Universal buy-in Most of us have the tools we need The struggle is getting cross-functional buy-in to use those tools in a collaborative and effective way – Amanda Changuris , manager, social media marketing, AAA – The Auto Club Group Look before you buy (again) Instead of looking at what’s missing from your tech stack, look at what you’re using and how you’re using it first More isn’t always the answer And remember even the biggest, best platforms won’t work miracles on broken content – Anna Hrach , strategist, Convince & Convert What content tech do you want? If you could sit at the drawing board with content tech innovators, what would you have them design? Let us know in the comments Or if you already have the perfect content tech tool, we’d love to share the good word Add it to the comments HANDPICKED RELATED CONTENT: Read the full article

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