#also new glasses!!!! i broke one of my other pairs lol dies

[valentinesparda]

hello humans I'm simply vibing [ they/it ]

[orionwhispers]

Bravado // Tommy Shelby Imagine

(A/N - its been a long ass time and i wanted to ease myself back into writing but this ended up being long and also super super angsty. sorry that this illness imagine came during covid idk whats going on with my imagination lol. love you guys SO much thank you for always being there. reblogs, comments and likes mean everything to me.)

trigger warnings - LOTS of angst. fluff. implied smut. my hc that tommy has a fear of illness, bad descriptions of hospitals. 

He knew something wasn’t right the minute his car pulled into the driveway and you weren’t waiting for him under the great concrete arch, with that smile on your face that made his knees buckle and heart race like he was a love struck teenager.

You were always there as soon as he came home. Barefoot in a broderie dress in the summer with tousled hair and baby pink toenails. Wrapped in a hand knit blanket with fire flushed cheeks and woollen socks in the winter - even running across the gravel and into his arms in the middle of a storm, the ice cold rain whipping across both of your faces as you kissed under the light of the moon.

No matter how shit his day or week or month was, no matter what stained his hands or darkened his heart, no matter what lay heavy and hard deep in his gut, seeing you made everything vanish in the night air like wisps of smoke. You made everything worth it.

He refused to give into fear, he wasn’t that kind of man, so he swallowed all of the nagging thoughts and apprehensions as he came up to the dark foggy windows and the iron cast door. It felt strange turning his key in the lock without the weight of you in his arms or the sticky peach kisses you left down his jaw and neck, the smell of the vanilla in your hair and lavender on your skin.

The second thing that sent a jolt of white hot electricity down his spine was Mary, watching him anxiously and wringing her hands in the hallway. Usually, she was calm and collected, taking his jacket and leather travel bag with her signature placid smile and gentle fingers. Usually she would return to the kitchen and finish up whatever she was making - a hearty roast lamb with rosemary and garlic and glazed potatoes or a pheasant pie with honeyed carrots, always followed by a three layer chocolate ganache cake that was so thick and rich you practically had to saw through the sponge. She would always have dinner piping hot and dripping with gravy by the time the two of you returned downstairs, no matter how many hours it took for you to get... reacquainted.

Now she looked sheepish and pale, her skin almost translucent under the syrupy yellow lights. There was something about the way she stood, as still as a wraith, that made his blood run cold.

“Mary. Where is she?”

“Mr Shelby, I - ” Her voice was strained and hesitant, like a slowly fraying rope.

“Where is my wife?”

She moved forward, creases forming around her eyes. “We tried ringing you in Liverpool but the hotel said that you had already left, so we...”

“You rang me? Why? What’s happened?” He couldn’t hold back the desperation in his voice, and it lingered and festered around them both like a poisonous gas.

“Mrs Shelby came down with something a few days ago, we thought that it was just a common cold but unfortunately she seems to be getting worse.”

He tore upstairs before he could even think, his shoes leaving perfect muddy footprints on the cream carpet. He almost slipped at the top, and he lurched forward, his hands reaching out and holding onto the portrait hanging above the stairs for stability.

It was the oil of the two of you. A soft, personal picture that revealed more than he ever possibly could. The love in your gazes, the hint of a soft, drunk smile on the dangerous gangsters face as you leaned into him, melting into him like butter, him holding onto you as though he couldn’t bear to let you go. It was his favourite photo, one that always washed a sense of calmness over him, a reminder of the woman that he loved and the way he felt around you. But now he felt as if was riding out a terrible storm.

He lived his life with no fear, he was capable and practical and used to the sound of bullets and the copper sweet smell of blood. There was really only one thing, one terrible thing that he couldn’t control, and that was what drove him crazy.

Sickness.

It gnawed at his insides like a rabid dog, clawed under his skin and settled behind his ribs. Losing someone he loved was like ripping out a piece of his heart straight from his chest, and he knew better than anyone what it was like to lose somebody to a violent, quick death - the pull of a trigger or the smack of a fist. At least in those moments he could lock them away in his mind, he could leap in front of a bullet or crack the neck of any man who dared to get too close to you, but there was almost nothing he could do to stop sickness, and the devastation it caused.

When you first met him it had been a surprise, almost amusing, that this powerful God of a man had these small little quirks. His house was always sparkling clean and smelling of Lysol, his fruit bowls were filled with citrus fruits and round, plump blueberries. He always made sure you were wrapped up warm in the winter, always placing his coat around your shoulders and bringing an extra pair of gloves in case you forgot yours. It was adorable, the way he took care of you,

It wasn’t till a little bit later when you learnt of those he had lost. His mother and his childhood sweetheart taken away from him much too soon. It broke your heart when he told you late one night of the sallow tint of their skin and the way he could almost see them vanishing from earth, the way that illness had moulded and changed those he loved the most.

You understood.

Your best friends older sister had died of tuberculosis when you were young. The elderly woman across the street from your first flat had passed away from a bout of horrendous smallpox. Your brother lost his first child to pneumonia. Times were changing but the fear of disease was ever present. Medicine was improving and so was knowledge, but still there remained a huge, dark cloud of what could happen, one that always hung around your husbands head.

——————————————-

All Tommy could think was the worst as he ran through the landing. His heart was in his ears and his bones felt loose, like the sweet liquorice the two of you would share at the pictures. He came to a stop by the bedroom door, tentatively pressing his palm onto the wood and ever so slightly pushing it open, listening to the gentle creak it made.

The room was warm. The lace curtains were pulled shut, and your favourite lavender candles were flickering on your vanity, casting syrupy shadows against the wall. He exhaled loudly as he saw you, bundled up under a mountain of satin sheets and hand crocheted blankets, your hair splayed across the pillows.

He moved to your bedside, pretending not to notice the large, untouched jug of water and the tissue box next to you, hoping and silently praying that you weren’t sick - just asleep and waiting for him, ready to wrap your arms around his neck.

You were silent, your lips parting every so often as you breathed, your chest rising and falling. He reached out gently, as though he was picking up shards of glass, and brushed his fingers against your cheek. Your forehead was beading with sweat, your cheeks flushed, and yet your skin was ice cold to the touch. He recoiled quickly, his heart dropping like a weight into his gut, and he inhaled a shaky, deep breath.

He saw something curled up beside your hands, a fluffy white cloud with sparkling emerald green eyes trained on him. Despite everything, he smiled. He thought of your birthday - of strawberry cheesecake and champagne, and surprising you with a ribbon wrapped little kitten as you woke up. He thought of that day often. How you smiled and leapt onto him with tears in your eyes, his whole world blissfully quiet as he spent the day in bed with you and your new best friend.

He would have preferred a big dog, one with sharp teeth and a menacing gaze to ward of visitors whilst he was away. But you were drawn to the tiny, malnourished runt of the litter who was scared of his own shadow. A kitten no bigger than the size of his clenched fist. A little white hairball who only ate and drank from fine pink saucers. A cat that had a very frustrating habit of crawling in the bedroom right as Tommy’s hand was up your skirt and his lips on the sweet spot of your neck, the tiny thing mewling and crying until you picked him up and nuzzled him into your chest.

He was a horse lover through and through, and never saw himself having time for any other pets. But in the summer when you saw the litter from one of John’s barn cats and fell in love with the sweet baby who mewled and cried and crawled right into your lap - he knew that he would give you anything and everything you wanted.

Including a cat who refused to accept that Tommy was the man of the house.

“Hello, boy.” He said, leaning over to scratch Comet under the chin, using a voice he only reserved for the two of you. “Have you been looking after my girl whilst I’ve been gone?”The cat meowed loudly in reply, pressing his head into Tommy’s palm but not moving from his spot beside you.

Tommy suddenly felt you shift under him and his heart lurched into his throat. He turned to face you, cupping the side of your clammy face as your eyelids fluttered open, blinking under the candlelight. A rush of red hot heat built up in his belly as you registered him, that angelic smile growing on your face, your tired eyes glimmering with recognition of the man you loved.

“Tommy?”

“Hi, Princess.”

You smiled sadly. “You’ve been gone for weeks - I missed you.”

He felt his brows crease as he rubbed along your jawline softly, trying to stop you from falling back asleep. He felt panic in his throat as sour as vomit, and he tried to bite back the nagging feeling that something was very wrong.

“No, sweetheart, I’m early. It’s only Thursday. I left on Monday.”

“Oh.” You said softly, your voice as gentle as the breeze rustling through the trees outside. “Well let me welcome you back properly - let me make you a lemon drizzle or a...” You lifted your head from the pillow and shuffled under your blanket, but he pressed his hands against your shoulder and held you down.

“No. You’re staying right here.”

“But - ”

“No.”

“Hmm. Don’t leave me, Tommy.”

“Never.” He said, his tone firm and cast like stone. He stroked your hair softly as your breathing slowed, but it didn’t nothing to quell the hard thump of his heart in his chest.

——————————-

Tommy left the room as quietly as he could after you had fallen asleep in his arms. He hadn’t wanted to move, not when you were pressed against his chest, looking ethereal but vacant, sweat beading under your brow and your face lacking colour. He wanted to stay with you, curled up by his side, his fingers laced through yours, the sound of your heart thumping in his ears.

But he was a man of action, and seeing you there - your lips cracked and dry, shudders passing through your body and goosebumps raised over your skin - he couldn’t fight the fiery urge to do everything in his power to make you feel alright again.

He found Mary waiting outside the door, chewing on the skin of her lips and swaying on the balls of her feet in anticipation. He grabbed her by the arm, harder than he meant to and something he would apologise for later, and pulled her downstairs, determined to let you rest whilst he got some answers. As soon as they reached the drawing room he spun her around, clenching his jaw and pointing a finger at the anxious maid.

“Where the fuck is the doctor? Why isn’t he here?”

“Mr Shelby.” She said, stepping forward calmly. “We phoned Doctor Moore and he came on Tuesday to see her.”

“Tuesday?” He seethed. “My wife has been ill since Tuesday and no one called me?”

Mary raised her hands in defeat, making it clear that the decision wasn’t hers to make. “He said it was nothing of concern . He gave her some antibiotics and told her to rest. She asked us herself not to call you, she knows how you.. worry.”

He ignored her sugar coated attempt to quell his anger, but if anything it made his vision darken. “When it’s my wife, It is always my concern.”

“Mr Shelby, we were just doing what we were told. As soon as we noticed she wasn’t getting better we phoned the surgery again, but Doctor Thomas was out for the day and said he didn’t think it was necessary to come round again, so we -”

“I don’t give a fuck. My wife is the number one priority. Ring every doctor in England if you have to, get somebody out here now to see my wife.”

He stormed away, anger pulsating through his veins, but he stopped suddenly, and threw out over his shoulder:

“And call Doctor Moore’s ’office. Tell him to expect a visit from the blinders soon.”

———————————————————

Once, when you were first dating, you found Tommy at the door to your flat at midnight, with scraped knuckles and blood dripping from his nose. You let him in, cleaned him up and sat with him in the bath until his skin was clear and his breathing was even. He knew that night, as you were pressed against his chest and his lips were pressed to your scalp that he was truly, madly and completely in love with you.

He remembered waking up the next morning, love drunk and blissful, and finding the bed beside him empty. He found you in the kitchen, wincing slightly and pressing a hot water bottle to your belly as you buttered a few pieces of toast. He rushed to your side with eyes as wide as saucers, concern lacing the features that were usually ice cold and hard as stone. You were completely baffled as he held you at arms length, his bright cerulean eyes trailing up and down your body for any signs of injury he might have missed. You were bewildered at the sight of the powerful man practically on his knees as he made sure you were alright, and you bit back a giggle as his warm palms spread over your abdomen.

“What is it? Whats wrong?”

“Tommy. Sweetheart.” You said softly, bringing his gaze level to yours. “It’s just - you know - that time of the month.”

He brushed off your embarrassment and ran his fingers through your hair, pressing a uncharacteristically gentle kiss to your forehead, sending a swarm of butterflies around the pain in your stomach.

“Do you need anything?” He asked, half ready to run down to the corner shop and buy any amount of painkillers or chocolate bars or your favourite lavender tea that you might need; not caring who saw the seemingly terrifying gang leader in the street with an armful of strawberry laces and salt water fudges.

You smiled like the summer sun and he melted, pulling you close as you whispered in the shell of his ear that you only needed him, and that was all you ever needed.

That was the first time you fully saw the extent of Tommy’s fear, but it definitely wasn’t the last. He knew he wanted you forever and always, and it took only six months of neck kisses and pillow talk, red hot jealousy and possessive hands across your skin and dancing in the rain and falling asleep under the pale yellow moon for him to put a ring on your finger. You were both consumed by your love, as though it was the only thing that mattered, it was insatiable and powerful - the wonderful mix of the devil and his sweet little angel.

And with that, came the good and the bad.

Like when you got food poisoning after Arthur cooked you a Sunday lunch to cheer you up whilst Tommy was gone. He came home to you retching over the toilet bowl with Mary holding back your hair, and swore that he would kill his brother with his own hands. Or when you slipped on ice and broke your arm while out with friends in London, and Tommy went ballistic and tried to ban you from ever leaving the house. It was just in his nature, how he always made sure you walked on the side furthest from the road, kept an arm slung around you whenever you were together, kept his eyes alert and vigilant no matter where you were - always looking out for his girl.

But he had never been like this.

———————————————————-

You were falling in and out of sleep. Waking up drowsy and heavy headed, squinting under bright lights, an ache in your skull and a burning in your throat. Every so often you felt a pinch in your upper arm, a squeeze on your palm, a kiss on your forehead - but you always drifted back into unconsciousness.

You weren’t sure how much time had passed when you woke up. The room was dark and you could hear the wind howling and whipping rain across the windows. You felt all too hot and all too cold at the same time, and the bed was damp with sweat. You struggled and tried to sit up, your head swaying and feeling as heavy as one of Tommy’s marble statues; as if you had been carved up and moulded. You could hear voices out in the hall, and unsteadily got to your feet, moving towards the noises.

“Pneumonia?” You heard through the thick wooden door, instantly recognising your husbands voice. “That’s impossible.”

“Sir...”

“Fucking. Impossible.” You knew his teeth were clenched.

The other man cleared his throat.“I know that it’s hard to hear, Mr Shelby, but your wife is very sick.”

“Just...” You felt your heart flutter and clench in your chest as the sound of his broken words, could practically feel his desperation and you wanted nothing more than to hold him. “Just tell me how to make her better.”

The second man spoke again, his voice softening and lowering, something you knew Tommy would hate. “Mr Shelby, the first round of antibiotics didn’t work and that means that it’s time for something stronger. Usually I would suggest the Birmingham hospital but I don’t think it’s equipped for...” He paused, trying to think over his words carefully. He wanted to convey the severity of the situation but also didn’t want to risk getting a bullet in his head from your very protective husband. “...This kind of reaction. I recommend we send her down to London for extra testing.”

“London? That’ll take two fucking hours. How the fuck can you recommend letting my wife travel that far? Are you out of your fucking mind?”

“I’m my opinion this is the wisest choice to make, but unfortunately that could mean your wife might get worse before she gets better.”

“Worse than she already is? That’s not an option.”

The man you assumed was the doctor was insistent, trying his best to portray the severity of the situation but failing as your hardheaded husband had already come to a decision.

“I’ll look after her here. She’s safest with me.”

Once Tommy had spoken that was the final result, and the doctor slinked away into the darkness and shook his head. You remained peering from behind the door, your tongue between your teeth and your heart hammering.

Tommy took one look at you and frowned, scooping you in his arms like a baby despite your protests. He ignored you, acting playfully and cheerful but you could feel his heated skin and the see flare of his nostrils. You wanted to help him but didn’t know how, and let him tuck you under the covers once again. He kissed your crown and stroked your hair and you wanted to speak but no words would leave your mouth.

“You stay there this time. You know I have no problem with tying you to the bed.”

You rolled your eyes as he left, and his clenched fists and tightened shoulders told you all you needed to know.

————————————————-

Comet watched from his spot beside you as Tommy wrestled with the fire. He had noticed you shivering despite your high temperature, and bundled you up in blankets whilst sparking matches beside the fireplace. There were raindrops across his shoulders, evidence that he had been outside and to the log store right at the end of the property - a job that had always been for the Groundskeeper. Your precious cat nudged the tips of your fingers as you sighed and watched your husband throw kindling onto the coal, a deep unease settling over your gut.

“Tommy, my love, I’m fine.” It wasn’t exactly true but you felt he needed to hear it. But you could practically see your words wash over him and evaporate like ocean spray.

He was shaking a metal tin in his palm as he worked, and you groaned and let your head hit the pillow as he pulled out two round chalky tablets. You winced as he placed them beside your glass, your mouth already tasting like the sour talc medicine you had come to loathe. He raised his eyebrows and shot you a look that told you he wasn’t far off plugging your nose with his fingers to force you to swallow, and you childishly stuck up two fingers as you took them.

Your stomach rumbled with nausea and you bit back the bile in your throat as you settled into the pillows. You watched your husband as he pulled off his crisp white shirt, revealing his taut tan stomach and the deep ink tattoos that you loved to trace with your fingertips and your lips. There was something about him standing there, with those damn cerulean eyes and hidden muscles, that boyish hair and slender fingers that you wanted desperately around your throat, that made a million tiny fireworks spark inside of you.

But instead you pushed him away from you despite your body wanting nothing but him wrapped all around you. “Don’t get too close. I might have something contagious. I can’t have you getting sick.”

He ignored you, smiling inwardly at the way you always put others before yourself. It was one of the million reasons he had fallen for you. You were sweating out a high fever and shivering in pain, and yet you always thought of him first. He pressed his lips to your temple and pulled you closer, knowing that skin to skin was a way to bring down a fever - even if it meant he had to restrain himself from tugging off your pretty little white nightgown and whatever frilly things you had on underneath.

“I’m not going anywhere. Fuck it if I catch anything.”

“That’s easy for you to say. I’m the one who will have to dote on you hand and foot, you big baby.” You teased, pressing yourself into him playfully, finally giving in.

He held you like a child, trying to hard to soften despite the way you felt underneath him. Everything on him was running a mile a minute, and he couldn’t help but want to try everything and everything to make you feel better. His hand was pressed against your temple to always try and measure your fever, his other palm across your chest to try and count your heart rate.

He could hear Mary treading across the landing carpet but he ignored his anxious maid, instead letting himself be completely consumed by the only thing that mattered - you.

This was something he had to do by himself. He was the only one who could care for you he reminded himself. And he let the words tumble over and over in his skull until they were all he could hear.

—————————————————————-

You had been asleep for a long time.

Every hour, after pacing the length of the hall and sanitising his hands and wiping the beads of sweat above your brow and above your breasts he woke you up and held a cool glass to your lips. You mumbled and moaned and pushed him away but he kept his fingers across your wrist - harsher than he ever had before - and kept you as close to him as possible.

He couldn’t remember the last time he had cooked. Perhaps it was last valentines when the two of you had camped out under the stars, drinking icy white wine and sharing stolen, day drunk kisses. That night he had roasted a chicken over the fire and it had burnt to a crisp as the two of you rolled around the grass, his head buried in your neck as you giggled at the poultry going up in flames.

He was trying now though, easy, plain substantial meals that wouldn’t upset your stomach. Boiled egg and dippy soldiers. Crackers with smooth cheese. Bubbly water and ginger biscuits. Each time he went upstairs you pushed him away, your whole body shuddering and almost retching, and he felt like smashing the plates against the wall at his defeat.

It had been almost thirty six hours since he had come home and it had been almost as long since you had eaten something, and his heart thundered and shattered in his chest when he found you gasping and wheezing over the toilet bowl when you had taken a bite of toast to calm him. He rarely left you alone, only for a few minutes to put the still full dishes in the sink, to ring Lizzie and tell her that he wouldn’t be coming for reasons that he refused to disclose, to smoke a cigarette under the grey stone archway, his shaking hands and bitten fingernails barely visible through the sleepy rolling fog.

He had grabbed handfuls of papers and the brass ink pen you had got him for your anniversary and broke his own rule - bringing work into your bedroom. It had always been a sacred space. For candlelight and soft laughter, aching hands and heart shaped bruises, a sanctuary for him to breathe and to love and to be loved fully in return. But he was afraid if he didn’t have a distraction, he might just completely lose it, and he had to be there for you.

So he sat squinting in his glasses, the room almost completely dark save for a few candles because of the migraines that had started to spread throughout your skull, and let himself be drawn into the mess of squiggly lines and numbers that suddenly didn’t add up, with you still centre stage in his peripheral.

After about forty minutes of rereading the same sentence a dozen times to try and make some sense of it, he heard your voice, like a small crack spreading across a sheet of ice, coming from the bed.

“Tom?” You sounded so weak, he practically flipped your cream vanity as he got to his feet and darted towards you. “I don’t feel well.”

He lifted you as you reached your arms up at him like a child. He almost gasped at the sweat pouring from your body but didn’t want to scare you, and instead held your shaking, shivering body against his own. How could you be so hot, yet so cold at the same time? Your skin was prickled with goosebumps yet you were burning with a fever, and for the first time in a long time, he had no fucking idea what to do.

He left you propped up against the headboard and he entered the bathroom. He ran over to the claw foot tub you loved, twisting the faucet and trying to find the perfect medium between boiling hot and freezing cold. He didn’t want to overwhelm you, just try and soothe your raging fever, and he ignored the shelves of expensive bath oils and scented soaps that you coveted, instead opting for a handful of something meant to ease tension - praying to whoever was listening that it would help you somehow.

There was a brutal, awful moment as he lifted you from the bed, limp as a rag doll, where he imagined what would happen if your heart were to stop. He couldn’t comprehend what it would be like to miss the weight of you in his arms, the smell of your skin, the feeling of your lips against him, the shovels stopping and fading into nothing. It hit him square in the chest, as merciless as a bullet, and he had to lean against the doorframe to stop the two of you from plummeting to the ground.

He undressed himself first. Tugging his white shirt off, sliding off his slacks and his underwear, keeping you as close to his chest as he could. Then he pulled your nightgown up and over your head. He gathered your hair and secured it up with a claw clip so that it was away from your face, the heat radiating off your neck as fierce as the fire now burnt down to ash in the bedroom.

He lowered the two of you into the bath, sinking down beneath the eucalyptus smelling lukewarm water, letting it wash over you both. Your teeth were chattering and you were barely awake. He gathered handfuls of water, letting it drip over your shoulders and pulse points, grabbing a washcloth and running it over your raised skin, hating how you barely registered his touch. As he scrubbed over your collarbones and up to your face he saw your lips had turned to an awful, silvery blue, as vibrant as a fresh bruise. He hissed and tugged on the plug, now determined to get you wrapped up in a fresh towel and tucked back into bed.

You were soft and placid and he helped you out, lacking the usual fire that he adored. Your eyes were glassy and missing their vibrance, like the vanishing spark of a lighter - and he felt miles and miles of invisible distance between the two of you. You were unsteady on your feet and he used his body to prop you up as he warmed your arms with a fluffy white towel. You suddenly stopped, lifting your hand to your mouth as you started to cough - a horrible, dry, gasping cough.

He noticed it almost immediately. His eyes darting to the splatter of red against the white, a smudge of crimson that was as loud and commanding as a siren, a warning signal that something was definitely not right. A bead of scarlet that would linger long behind his closed eyelids.

He managed to get you back into bed, remaining calm as he stroked your hair and kissed your temple. He tucked you under the duvet and waited for your breathing to even before he ran downstairs, his heart thumping in his ears as he practically ripped the phone off of the wall.

“Pol? Fuck. I think - I think I need help.”

—————————————————————-

The room smelt like bleach and metal. Unfamiliar and clinical. There was something hard on your chest and covering your mouth, it tasted like wet pennies and was as heavy as a hand over your throat, but for the first time in days you could finally breathe. You tried to sit up, but there was a needle in your chest, a gown you didn’t recognise cut straight down the middle to accommodate it. You struggled and lifted the thin bedsheet above your shivering torso, trying to look around the cold room.

“Careful!”

It was Polly, dressed immaculately despite her surroundings. She reached out and placed a manicured hand across yours, and you smiled at the woman who had always been a calming influence when you had joined the circus of a family. There was concern in her eyes, rimmed with black eyeliner and lifted lashes but still swimming deep around her pupils. That made you frown, and you moved as much as you could to face her.

“What happened?”

She ran her tongue over her teeth, choosing her words. “You gave us quite a fright, love.”

“I did?” Your memories of the past few days were much like a fever dream, blurry and distorted snapshots were all you could really remember.

“Your pneumonia got worse. A lot worse.” She paused, looking over to the door and you followed her gaze. “They found fluid in your lungs.”

“So...” You started, gesturing to the needle in your abdomen and the breathing apparatus around your head.

She nodded. “Yes. You were in surgery. It was touch and go for a little bit.”

“Really?” You were bewildered. You couldn’t remember anything, let alone having major surgery. You looked her straight in the eye, asking her the questions that had been on the tip of your tongue since you had woken up. “Where is he? Where’s Tommy?”

“He’s outside.” She clicked her tongue, reaching deep into her purse and pulling out some hand cream, gently rubbing your dry hands like she was your mother. You leant into her touch despite all of your questions.

“What? Why?”

“I think he blames himself. God knows what goes on in that mans head. All I really know is he was bloody terrified.” She paused, looking over in the distance. “I’ve never seen him so scared, not even on his wedding day.” She smiled sadly, trying to lighten the mood, but it soon faded. “He didn’t leave your side the whole time you were asleep.”

Your heart thumped in your chest, a soft aching that you knew all too well. “I want to see him.”

“I know you do. But right now...” She stopped right as a handful of nurses entered, clad in long blue dresses with white aprons, hair tied back and smelling of strong soap and disinfectant. You lost Polly in the bustle as one spoke softly to you before tugging on the needle right beside your ribs, your eyes just catching hers as she left, a promise to see you soon on her lips.

It wasn’t her you saw next, but Tommy.

The nurses had cleaned you up with wet flannels and bowls of warm soapy water. Your hair had been braided and your face washed, and walked you arm in arm over to the bathroom so you could relieve yourself. A skittish doctor followed after, his eyes darting across you and his touch gentle as he changed your dressings and took your blood - obviously under strict instructions from your husband, and despite everything, you smiled.

You were sat listening to the clock tick. A romance novel you had been given was dangling dangerously close to the end of the bed, but you were too tired to focus on it. You heard the door squeal softly, and the sound of familiar footsteps across the tiling, each small thud sending shockwaves across your spine.

“Tommy.”

He looked tired. Exhausted rather, as though he had been awake all the hours that you had been asleep. His eyes were bloodshot and his skin was sallow and bruised. His clean shaven face was dark with stubble and his hair was ruffled and unwashed. You longed to reach out to him and cradle him against you, but he stood in the doorway, lingering like a ghost.

“Tommy?” You repeated, your voice almost a whisper, breaking his already shattered heart once again.

“How are you feeling, my love?”

You smiled softly, like spun sugar and sweet honey. No hospital bed or itchy gown could dull your infectious light. “Better now.”

He approached you almost cautiously. He settled down on the hard chair beside your bed and stroked a line down from your temple to your lips, his touch setting you alight like an electrical storm. There was a sadness in his eyes that reminded you of how he got when things were bad, and you willed him to come back to you. His touch was tentative and he inhaled shakily as you cupped his hand with yours, pressing a tender kiss to the inside of his palm.

“Don’t scare me like that. Ever.” He was stern, as though hoping his words would make it true. “I mean it.” He kept his gaze on your pretty face, trying his best not to stare at the harsh bruising on your delicate flesh or the sickly tone of your skin.

“Tommy I’m going to get sick, even you can’t stop that.” You teased gently.

“I can bloody well try.” His hands cradled your face, pulling you into him and kissing you fiercely, still mindful of the wires and tubes taped to your body. There was something about the tenderness and deep longing in the kiss that when mixed with your total exhaustion and love for your husband prompted tears to start falling from your eyes. You sniffled as he pulled away, concern dripping from his beautiful features, his powerful mind wanting to do everything and anything to stop your hurting.

“Hey, hey.” He said, running his calloused fingertips under your eyes and wiping your tears away. You leant into his touch and he kissed your temple, squeezing you even tighter into him. “You know I hate it when you cry.” He toyed with your hair and winked playfully. “Besides, all you need to focus on is getting better. You’re going to have to take care of me when we get home, this week has given me a fucking stroke.”

You rolled your eyes, kissing the inside of his wrist. “You’re a idiot, Thomas Shelby.” You blinked at the clock looming above you both, wanting to stay in your blissful bubble but also knowing that Aunt Pol would probably be in the vicinity harassing a poor nurse over your results. “You should go and find Polly, let her know that everything’s alright.”

He shook his head and nuzzled his nose across yours, an act so innocent that your heart dipped and swooped in your chest. “Later.” He said, breathless and consumed by you. Everything had been too much. Almost losing you had been harrowing, it had punctured him completely and he just needed to feel his girl safe and warm around him. He needed to know that you weren’t found anywhere.

“I just want to stay here for a while. Just me and you.”

You grinned. “Always.”

[velvett-tearss]

Black Tea & Blushes — L. Ackerman

summary: The two of you never got along, but there were times that even fire and ice made a perfect pair.

warnings: cursing, no spoilers for anything past early s1, Levi’s a little shit at first (surprise, surprise), mentions of blood (they’re fighting titans :-) lol) gn!reader (no pronouns mentioned)

genre: semi-canonverse, fluff, enemies to lovers (?)

word count: 3.3k

a/n: this was very self-indulgent lmao, sorry if it’s a bit messy 😭, <Hange, Connie & Sasha3 make an appearance bc I love them and you should too, hope you enjoy it <3

"Couldn't you have gotten a cadet to do this?"

You raised a sharp brow at the man, trying to keep yourself from flipping his desk over. "Would you have yelled at them like you just yelled at me?"

The man's grey eyes didn’t meet yours, but there was a scowl on his face. Despite his steely eyes, he didn't say anything back. Instead, he pursed his lips and turned back to continue his paperwork.

You huffed in an attempt to ground yourself after being yelled at for the past two minutes. You took a sip from your own cup of the tea you had prepared for him, letting yourself savor the taste.

     "I don't understand." you said, tasting the earthy, black tea. "You said it was too cold last time, so I made sure it was extra warm. What's wrong with it? Is it too sour for you? I only added a few drops of lemon this time."

Levi remained silent, but you stood your ground, tapping your boot against the pavemented floor as you waited at his desk for an answer. You wouldn't let him win, not this time. Day after day, it seemed like he only grew ruder and ruder.

Your dislike for Levi Ackerman started the day you met him. He was still just a soldier when you joined the Survey Corp, and it wasn't long after that he become Captain.

He was mean, and he never seemed to care about anything, but God forbid you make a reckless move out in the field. It was as if all hell broke loose if you used a bit too much gas when slicing the nape of a Titan's neck.

     "Not everyone is Humanity's Strongest." you had spat at him when he scolded you on the way back to the walls. That only earned you a glare, seeing as Hange managed to secure your safety. If it weren't for them, you were certain you would've gotten stuck with stable duty for a month's end.

     You were glad he was nice to them, at least.

     At some point, you got promoted to Captain as well. One would think that since you shared the same rank, he would grow warmer to you, but that was another one of your mistakes.

     Everything about him rubbed you the wrong way, from his disagreeable manners to his awful way of speaking to soldiers. And, it was your disdain for him that got you stuck in this mess.

"A cadet could've done this." Levi stated again; you felt like you were being patronized. He raised a brow at you, holding the teacup in his hand. "A cadet could’ve made better tea than you.”

"Obviously not, Captain." you threw back sourly, snatching the cup from his hand. "A cadet could not have done this because if I hadn't interfered two weeks ago, who knows what you would've done to the poor man. And, all he did was make your tea wrong!”

Levi blinked at you, appearing bored with your conversation. "If you hadn't interfered, that soldier would be back with those good for nothing Military Police Officers doing what they're best at."

     You gritted your teeth. "And, what are they good for, Captain Ackerman?”

     His brow twitched slightly. “Absolutely nothing."

You let out a bitter laugh, placing the white ceramic teacups back on the tray you had brought in. "Now that you say it out loud, that reminds me a lot of someone I know."

     "What an awful way to talk about yourself.” Levi threw back with ease.

     The urge to roll your eyes at him was weighing on you, but you were stronger than the immaturity he seemed to bring out in you. "Captain, you must be growing old if you've already forgotten we're the same rank."

     Your decision of keeping yourself calm in his presence payed to be of use when you noticed the slight pause in his pen strokes at your words.

     But, you were well aware of how trustworthy Levi was in the sense that you knew he could always come back with something even worse than what he's told you before.

      "If you were of any use, you would know what's wrong with your tea. I'm sure even King Fritz could tell good tea from awful tea, and he's the most useless of them all." Levi told you, pen moving over the papers in front of him swiftly.

     "He could probably also tell a grown man from a spoiled brat," you told him, taking the tray with you as you left his office. "But, you make even that task seem impossible."

     You had to stop the triumphant grin from growing on your face when you heard his faint scoff from the other side of the wooden door.

Even if you managed to snag the last word of that argument, it didn’t feel as good as it usually did. The only reason you involved yourself in Levi Ackerman’s nightly tea was because 1) you didn’t like the way he spoke to the poor soldier who got stuck with job of handling it, and 2) Erwin asked that you try and be a bit nicer to your fellow captain.

You only did it to keep your job, really, and you would never let your Commander think less of you, even if he did favor Levi. Even Hange had tried to coax you into not letting The Ackerman’s sharp tongue get to you, but that didn’t seem to work.

Levi and you would never be friends, if that’s what Erwin meant when he pulled you aside at supper a few nights before. It was a lie to say you didn’t admire the man’s impressive skills, because you did.

But, admiration and respect were two separate things.

The two of you were jagged edges of broken glass that didn’t fit together, and that was perfectly fine. You didn’t mind being Levi being a sharp piece of glass, just as long as he kept his corners to himself and far from you.

Erwin, as observant as usual, caught on to the solution to your problem, and he even made sure you and Levi would rarely ever cross paths when the Scouts were out on an expedition. The two of you worked on opposite sides of the formation.

The only time you would ever work together would be if there were no other options, but both of you were reliable in your own senses: him with his... whatever he called it, and you with your wits.

You didn't mind being farthest from him, and if it were up to you, you'd go even farther.

     “Hey, you got new glasses.” you stated, noticing the new pair of brown frames that Hange wore the morning as the Scouts waited for the signal to begin the expedition.

“Oh, don’t remind me.” they said with a frown, holding the glasses in their hands. “Last night, Moblit and I were doing some research, and someone must’ve stolen my glasses because I couldn’t find them this morning.”

“Stole? Isn’t that a big accusation?”

They let out a hearty laugh. “It is! That’s why I’m saying it!” Hange replied, golden eyes widened at you in exasperation. “I’ve been stuck with these, and they’re too big for my face. All they do is fall off.”

“So maybe don’t wear them?” you wondered as you caught a glimpse of the dark head of hair you knew too well. “What’ll you do if you lose them out in the field? Better safe than sorry.”

“I wish, but I’m as blind as a bat without them.” Hange reasoned with a sigh before quickly composing themselves. “But, now that you mention it, I never did mind a challenge.”

The smirk growing on their face was one you didn’t quite like. Before you could talk some sense into them (if that were even possible) the signal went off to begin the mission.

They gave a wide smile and a thumbs up as a good luck token. "Don’t do anything crazy!” you called out when the two of you parted ways, taking your squad with you. “I mean it, Hange!”

Hange waved you off, charging in faster in their horse. It was up to poor Moblit to chase right after them.

Your squad remained close together for the majority of the mission. There wasn't much to do on your end of things, which was a relief. At some point, you decided to stop for a quick break before pushing forward.

If you were able to see five mintues into the future, you would never have let your squad talk you into taking a lunch break. Just as you were relaxing a bit, there was an Abnormal coming from the thick trees.

Your sense of smell wasn't as skilled as Miche, and if it weren't for one of the younger cadets on your squad who had a keen sense of hearing, you all would've been Titan food.

It didn't take long for you to spring into action, your squad following suit. You made sure to use the plans Erwin had issued out on previous Scout meetings.

When the Abnormal finally made it to where you and your squad stopped, the beastly creature managed to catch one of your soldiers in midair. As the young boy was raised in the air, his stomach couldn't contain his recent lunch.

Gravity works in wonders, you thought when his earlier lunch fell onto you with a splat! You couldn't blame the poor boy; it was better upstairs than downstairs. As terrible a feeling it was to have chunky vomit all over you, you knew it would be as even worse feeling if the boy died under your care.

Your squad got to him before any damage was permanent, at least physically. When the killing blow was done, you tended to your soldier. He muttered out apologies for having thrown up on you, but you were merely in the line of fire.

"It's okay, Connie." you reassured him after pulling off your green cape that had been soiled in aid to shield you. “I’d rather it be your lunch on me than your organs.”

You ordered that he ride with your other cadet, Sasha. He let out a pained laugh at your words, leaning against her on her horse. She scolded him for “wasting so much food,” to which lead to their silly banter, which you didn’t mind as long as they were safe.

     As unfortunate as it was, that incident wasn't the last of it. There wasn't much time between Connie getting his ribs crushed by a Titan and the numerous amount of red flares that were being shot into the air.  The amount of red powder in the sky was enough to cast a shadow of worry over you.

     By the time your squad made it to where the red flares had been signaled, it was a mess. Abnormal and Pure Titans were ambushing the rest of whatever was left of the Survey Corp. Your squad wasted no time in following your orders as you made a beeline for the trees where a group of Abnormals were huddled together.

     When you finally got a good look at the scene in the forest, your sight was met with Titan smoke and blood of fallen comrades. It was a disaster, as it always was. But you knew, where there was smoke, there was definitely fire.

And, that fire was Humanity’s Strongest Soldier.

He looked ablaze, nothing but a flash in the distance. Slicing Titan limbs as if they were merely flowers in his way, Levi Ackerman was kicking ass. It was in moments like this — where he looked like the answer to all the prayers of the people inside the walls — that you wondered if you truly hated him all along.

“Section Commander!” Moblit cried, chasing after Hange as they swung on the highest tree of the forest. It seemed as though they forgot all about how loose their glasses were as they did a number of twirls in the air. His voice was enough to snap you out of your trance and assist your fellow comrades.

You managed to fight off three Pure Titans and two Abnormals for what seemed like forever. It might’ve been even worse if not for Connie Springer’s lunch all over you that acted as Titan Repellant.

Perhaps you would tell Hange of your new discovery, but every time you managed to get close to them while fighting off the Titans, all they did was badger you with questions upon questions.

“Are you sure you haven’t you seen them?!” Hange cried for the fifth time, eyes squinted at you from their branch opposite you. Moblit was fighting off a creepy Abnormal with ugly teeth a few feet from you.

“No, I haven’t! And, didn’t I tell you your glasses would fall if you took them with you?!” you shouted back from your place on the tree before taking a breath to try to slice the neck of your second Pure Titan. “Go back to the wagon, Hange, before you get yourself killed!”

They huffed and puffed, but they let Moblit guide them to the wagon to wait until the rest of the Scouts could find a moment to retreat back to the walls.

After finally slicing the nape of your final Titan, you looked over to where you had last seen Levi. Only, he was nowhere to be found. A panic set in when you couldn’t find any sight of him.

“Captain?” you called out from your place on a tree branch where you were catching your breath. You squinted your eyes to get a farther look, but it didn’t help that much. “Captain Ackerman, are you there? Do you—”

But, that’s when you felt a jostle of wind hit your back. You turned quickly to see the dark-haired man swinging through the trees, holding an unconscious Oluo.

You followed him, figuring if you took his squad member off his hands that Levi would have a better chance of taking down more Titans. Maybe even with a man who weighed far more than himself in his hands, Levi could still have a better chance than you.

“Captain, I’ve got him. I’ll take—”

But, Levi wouldn’t budge. It was like he wasn’t listening to you, and you didn’t know if it was by choice or coincidence. You huffed and rushed quicker to help him in carrying Oluo.

Maybe it was just your luck, or maybe it was just his, but right before you managed to reach him, a Titan’s jaw came from below him, wide and ready for lunchtime.

There was nothing for him to do, not with his hands full. Surely he knew that from the way his grey eyes finally broke through from that awful void he’d placed you in, the one where all you ever got from him was scoldings and insults and cold stares that often made you wonder if he actually did hate you.

And, for the first time, you saw panic flash through his grey eyes, his life flash before his eyes.

“Levi!” you cried, using the rest of your ODM gear’s gas to catch up to him. You knew if he were to survive such an event, he would scold you for wasting your gas on an old lump like him.

But, for once, Levi had something to say about you that didn’t regard your incompetence to make decent tea or your recklessness that spurred you to use all your gas just to save him and the bullheaded, baboon by the name of Oluo.

It was your astonishing speed.

You got to the two men right before the great wide jaws of the Titan could snap closed and swallow the three of you for its meal, which Levi had to admit (but probably never would) was quite impressive.

“Shit!” you hissed out when the three of you landed on another tree branch. As quick as you got to the branch was as quick as Miche was to come and ensure your safety, slicing the Titan’s nape with ease.

Oluo was still unconscious and a little bloodied up and battered, but he was safe.

“What the hell were you thinking?!” Levi yelled, voice slightly hoarse from everything that had just happened. His hair was a mess, and you held back a laugh at the sight of him. “Why— why would you? I mean, what— and, why do you smell like—”

“A thank you is perfectly fine, Ackerman.” you coughed out, catching your breath from the overexertion you just forced yourself through. Carrying two grown men was tough, especially when it was between life or death. “As for the smell, one of my soldiers threw up on me.”

Levi blinked at you, his expression consisting of disgust and confusion. “What?”

“My soldier. He threw up on me earlier.”

“I heard you the first time.” he told you, blinking quickly as if it were going to grant him some clarity. You didn’t know if his confusion was from your act of saving him and his squad member or from not knowing what to say to you after.

He looked funny, with his hair that of a bird’s nest and his cheeks flushed pink.

“Did you hit your head on the way down?”

“W-what?”

“Your head? Did you hit it?”

“No, I-I’m fine.” he scrambled upright, finding purchase on the unconscious Oluo’s shin. Your eyes flickered to where his hand was placed, and he snatched it right off immediately, burning a deeper shade of pink.

“Oh.” you muttered, holding back a chuckle. There was no way Levi was without a concussion, not with the way he was acting all of a sudden: stuttering and turning pink on you. It was a wonder you caught up to him before he collapsed.

“Are you sure you’re okay, Captain?” you asked again, fixing your uniform before getting to your feet. You wobbled a bit; Levi raised a brow at you. “You look sick. Why don’t you sit in the injury wagon for a bit on the way back? Just in case.”

He waved you off, standing on his two feet as well. You didn’t want to cause a fight, not right after what had just happened and not outside the walls, so you decided to say nothing about his seeming concussion.

The two of you lifted Oluo off the ground, blood seeping from the side of the man’s mouth. “Is it his ribs? Was it an Abnormal? They were awful today.” you questioned, looking to Levi for answers.

“He bit his tongue, again, before ramming into a tree.” Levi told you, averting his gaze from you as he shifted the man against his shoulder for a better grip. “He said something f-fell from the sky.”

You nodded, letting yourself chuckle. “What could it’ve been? Bird shit?”

Levi shrugged at your words.

He was far too quiet for your liking. Maybe he did have a concussion. It wouldn’t be good if he rode back like that. Perhaps if you spoke to Erwin or Hange about it, one of them could convince Levi to get checked out once you got back to the walls.

The two of you managed to get back to the rest of the Scouts safely. You helped Levi placing Oluo in the wagon with the wounded and the fallen while everyone else was getting accounted for.

All the while, Hange was trying to persuade Erwin into letting them form a search party for their glasses that had fallen while they were swinging on the trees.

Though you were straining to listen to their conversation, you were more than certain that Erwin would never allow such a thing, but you had to admire Hange’s efforts, as fruitless as they were.

“Thank you.”

You snapped your head to Levi.

He refused to meet your gaze again, busying himself with readjusting his soldier’s cape. If not for the obvious step into uncharted territory between the two of you, you would’ve commented on the rosy blush he adorned.

Suddenly, you were overcome with a laughter, waving him off with your hand quickly. “I was just joking about that, Captain. Sorry, I don’t mean to laugh, but I’m just surprised you actually—”

He scoffed, the expression on his face shifting to one of impatience. “Don’t be a brat. Just take the compliment.” Levi huffed out, visibly annoyed with your chatter.

A look of shock overtook your face. “Oh, so you’re complimenting me? Why didn’t you just say so, then?”

“Oi, that’s not what I meant—”

“No, it’s fine. I heard you, loud and clear.” you interrupted, smiling widely at him. “You’re oh-so very welcome, Captain Ackerman, and if you ever need me to save your ass again, you know where to find me.”

Levi opted to say nothing back, merely shaking his head at you when you gave a lazy salute and started back to the other side of the formation where your horse and squad awaited you.

“Besides,” you shrugged, turning back for a moment to catch him looking at you. “Who else would teach me how to make tea?”

note: I don’t think I specified it, but Oluo was knocked unconscious bc some object (Hange’s glasses) fell from the sky lmao 🐸

[twerkinwithhazza]

Pumpkin Seeds

Author’s Note: UH OHHH BACK AGAIN. I’m back yall finally off hiatus all because my phone is broken LOL. Anywho tumblr is a totally different place and most of my mutuals are adulting now. I would love new tumblr friends and I’m gonna try to continue this writing stuff but I’m busy with adult things now lol and it really depends on if you guys like what you see. Please excuse my rustiness this my first imagine in years... literally. I’ll get better with time. This was also slightly edited but I know there bound to be some mistakes. Anyways watch the Golden music video for clear skin and I hope you guys enjoy!  I think it's so adorable that whoever requested this thought this request wouldn't speak to me lol ! It definitely did because this went from a blurb to a full blown imagine.

psst you can read my other work here!

Warnings: smut smut smut and more smut and possible shitty writing, dirty talk, light choking, and some cursing.

Glossary: (y/c/n)= your cousins name + (y/m/n)= your mothers name

Request: hi!!!! if you are wrtiting for Harry please can you do one where missus and Harry are at a family party and have a quickie in the bathroom? don’t worry if it’s not speaking to you lol xxx

Normally you and your husband loved spending time with your families. Harry was always playing a balancing act between filming music videos, doing interviews, writing sessions, and an occasional date night in the house that always involved a Postmates order from your favorite restaurants and the two of you binge-watching Netflix on shuffle. As much as the both of you enjoyed stuffing your face with poke bowls from Poke Papa and watching True Crime stories, it wasn’t exactly romantic or fulfilling for the both of you, just enough to hold you over until his schedule clears up. So when Harry finally got a weekend off, you guys were ecstatic! You spent the week cleaning the house and meal prepping so no Postmates would be needed and Harry used his free time in between interviews for shopping for special toys and pretty lingerie he wanted to see you model for him. Flirty text messages were sent back and forth during small work breaks about your plans for the weekend and now all the two of you had to do was make it Saturday.

You’re not gonna like this...

The 5 words that destroyed you and Harry’s weekend plans. Anne called while you were organizing your closet and announced that her and Gemma, along with your parents and favorite cousins were coming to town to spend time with the two of you. You tried to convince her that maybe a small dinner party at that new fancy restaurant downtown would be a perfect spot for a get together but she was adamant about coming over to cook the two of you a homecooked meal. Breaking the news to Harry was the worst part, he was clearly devastated (you swore you saw the man shed a few tears). Now here you were stuffing your mouth with Anne’s famous juicy cooked duck instead of your husband's juicy di...

“(Y/N) can you pass me the mashed potatoes”

Your dad’s strong yet muffled voice interrupted your train of thought and broke you out of your horny trance as he chowed down on his meal. Pushing the dish over in your dad's direction allowed you the chance to look around and take a glance at Harry who was making small talk with one of your favorite cousins. He was wearing a black button-down shirt, of course with a few buttons loose, and his cross necklace bounced on his chest as he laughed at your cousin's crazy work stories. You focused on his fingers, his infamous rings adorned his hands, you noted that they were slightly damp from eating and the condensation on his glass cup. As you were drinking in his appearance a small damp spot was forming in your panties but given that there were too many eyewitnesses including, yours and his parents so you chose to just clamp your thighs shut and stuff your mouth with more mashed potatoes. 

Harry deserved his credit as a husband. Despite his calm demeanor, he was very well aware of your little ordeal yet still managed to give interview advice to (y/c/n) and compliment your mom’s cocktail mix. He was quite amused by how increasingly frustrated you were becoming. He noted your concentrated face as you munched harshly on a string bean, hands clenching onto the fork for dear life. He decided to do a little temperature check to truly see how far gone you were.

“So what are we thinking for dessert pecan pie or crumble cake ?”, Harry questioned as he stuck his fork in his mouth, pulling it out again once all the gravy was licked clean. Your eyes finally met and you can tell that he was tossing the ball in your court, it was your job to show him how you wanted the game to be played.

“Mmm I don’t know I guess I’ll have some pecan pie but I really wish I had some pumpkin seeds”, you flatly said as you finished sipping your wine, maintaining full eye contact with him.

Pumpkin seeds. You and Harry were “outside of the box” thinkers, you had to be with his life as a celebrity not exactly pairing well with your shared sexual fantasies. You had code words to indicate to each other when you were craving the other one's touch, but you knew that using the same words around friends, family, and other public figures for too long would possibly cause some suspicion. So your code words changed with the seasons, literally. When the leaves started turning that classic golden yellow and auburn, your code words changed thus came the use of the word Pumpkin Seeds.

Gemma and your mom shared a glance, raising their eyebrows in collective confusion.

“Pumpkin seeds.. For dessert ?” Gemma finally burst out., both of your mothers soft laughter followed in the background.

“Heyyy” ,Harry pouted as he bopped Gemma on the nose with some gravy ,“ I have you know Pumpkin Seeds are one of our favorite midnight snacks”. 

“Gross“, Gemma stuck out her tongue and wiped her nose. You couldn't tell whether she was referring to the gravy on her nose, your choice of midnight snacks, Harry’s smug statement followed by a wink at you, or a combination of all three.

“Well we can be concerned with dessert once we break out the baby pictures, I’ve been dying to see the infamous skinny dipping picture (y/m/n) has been telling me about”. Anne clapped her hands together and hopped out of her seat heading to the kitchen. Your mother followed behind but not before instructing you to head up to the attic to retrieve the pictures. You glanced at Harry but he seemed occupied cleaning up the dinner plates with your dad. You let out a frustrated huff and made your way up to the attic to grab the photo albums. 

As you shuffled through old boxes holding Harry’s old tour outfits and your little knickknacks from your travels, you heard the attic door open.

“Pumpkin seeds huh?”, Harry lightly chuckled letting the attic door close and leaning against the door frame. 

You refused to make eye contact with him, continuing to shuffle through the bins locating a few photo albums as you went , “It was only a matter of time Harry and you know it. Our weekend got stolen and we haven’t... ya know in like two weeks. So, yes Harry I want some damn pumpkin seeds.”

You let out a huff. You didn’t mean to come off so sassy and aggressive but you were frustrated… sexually. Your cousin was getting more Harry time in the 3 hour family dinner than you had gotten in the past two weeks. You stacked the photo albums gently on top of each other and cradled them in your arms, finally turning to face your husband but you didn't have to look very far. Harry had closed that gap between the two of you, gripping your face and making you look up at him causing you to drop the albums in shock. 

“Well let’s get you your pumpkin seeds then”

That’s all it took and sparks turned into a flame, you and Harry’s bodies connected and a feverish makeout session broke out. You both were so hungry for each other after weeks of neglects and it just felt so damn good to finally connect. Harry’s wet kisses were making their way down your neck, nipping and sucking as he goes. You knew he was getting into it and normally you would be completely here for it if your kitchen wasn’t flooded with family members waiting to laugh at your baby pictures.

“Baby.. we… fuckkkkk”, You moaned out as Harry popped one of your nipples out of his mouth before moving to nip on the next one. “Baby we can’t your mom is downstairs… we have to go”, you finally let out and glanced down at your husband as pinched your nipples between his finger tips. “When has that ever stopped us”, he slyly laughs. In one swift motion, he turned you around pulling your back into his chest pulling down your skirt. You couldn’t even get words of protest out, Harry had his hands wrapped around your neck and was already freeing himself from his pants and boxers. He pulled your panties to the side and let out a hiss as he watched a string of your arousal stretch from your dripping flower to his fingers.

“Baby please just do something”, you huffed out a soft moan as you waited in anticipation. The grip around your throat tightened as he entered you, both of you letting out a sigh of relief. Harry completely bottomed out inside of you, touching that special spot that only he could. Your walls clenched around him, holding him in snug almost as if your pussy was begging him not to leave. Normally the two you were very vocal during sex from dirty talk to his loud moans and your even louder cries of pleasure. However you both knew that wasn’t possible right now and kept your moans down as much as you could. Harry was not making it easy though and the noise coming from the two of your bodies colliding were basty in the best ways possible. With every thrust of Harry’s hip you could hear your wetness coating Harry dick and as Harry picked up the speed his balls roughly tapped on your clit, only adding to your pleasure. You could barely form thoughts let alone sentence, Harry was literally fucking you silly and using your G-Spot as punching bag for his dick, The sounds and the pleasure were clearly getting to Harry as well, the grip he had on your hips grew tighter and his eyes were squeezed shut. 

“Bloody fucking hell you’re so tight around me, can’t even take it”, he groans and throws his head back as he roughly draws your hips into his. It didn’t even feel like it was possible but Harry picked up the speed of his thrust continuing the assault on your poor needy pussy even further. The pleasure was all too much and that oh so familiar feeling hit the pit of your stomach and you were starting to lose your composure. Your moans were getting increasingly louder and your grip on Harry was growing tighter. Harry knew his wife and he knew your dam was getting closer and closer to breaking and he was determined to get you there. He placed a hand over your mouth and moved his other hands down to your clit rubbing it in slow circles. “ Look at you” he cooed cockily, “Taking me so fucking well like a good girl should. Barely let out a scream ‘cus you don’t want your parents to hear how much of a cock whore you are”. He knew you wouldn’t last long with the way he was talking to you and he was absolutely correct because his words were driving you insane. As the pressure was continued building up in your stomach, you felt the telling twitch in Harry’s dick that let you know he was approaching his end too.

“Gonna give me what I want uh? Gonna cum all over my cock and let me cum in that tight little pussy of yours. You gotta hold it in.. don’t want to leave any drops for our guest to find huh? Gonna be a good girl and hold all my cum in you?”, Harry grunted into your ear as you whimpered against his hands. You were seeing stars and feeling butterflies in the pit of your stomach and you knew it was only a matter of time before you both came undone.” Oh baby”, you whined and your head fell down as the pressure from your stomach finally was released as your orgasm spilled out all over Harry’s dick and thighs. The gushing feeling from your orgasm and your weak whimpers and cries drove Harry overboard, burying his face in your neck and his roughly groaning as he released inside of you. The two of you stayed connected for a bit, thighs stuck together thanks to your shared orgasm with Harry’s arm wrapped around your waist supporting both of your weights up as you composed yourselves. When he finally pulled out of you, you kept every drop he gave you tucked inside your tight walls just as promised. 

“So those Pumpkin Seeds huh”

[forgottenpasta]

Dulce Periculum Pt. 2

Summary: Devious and devilish, your two new impish hybrids never miss a chance to torment you for your hopeless attraction to them, knowing exactly what they do to you. But is sly sexuality and enigmatic allure all there is to the tiger and wolf hybrid, or do the depths of their eyes hide something more for you? Part 2/2.

Genre: Smut, Angst, Fluff

Word Count: 8.8k

Pairings: Tiger Hybrid!Taehyung x Reader X Wolf Hybrid!Jeongguk

Warnings: Taehyung has some tiger parts that you might wanna google, knotting, too much cum, creampie, cumplay(?), penetrative hardcore sex, oral sex (f and m recieving), slight ass play, threesome, swearing, ugly crying lol.

Part 1 | Part 2 (complete)

****

Bewildered, Jeongguk stood rooted on his feet for a few seconds, unable to comprehend what had just occurred. He had expected surprise from you, maybe even a little bit of disgruntlement, which he could deal with and have you back in his arms in no time. 

Instead, he’d just watched you cry for the first time. And he was the reason. 

Muscles snapping back into action, he dashed after you, shouldering past many a drunk people impolitely. Jackson wasn’t gonna be happy with him for slacking off on bouncer duty, and shoulder checking club-goers on top of it, but right now he couldn’t give a flying fuck about anybody but his owner. He was a little shaken, second guessing everything. 

He knew you were attracted to them. It was crystal clear you wanted them. Although he admits it wasn’t the most ethical thing to not reveal his identity to you, but he was a hybrid! He hadn’t considered that possibility until after you kissed him. Because for him, he could recognise your scent from among a crowd of people blindfolded. But what had he done that was so bad you would cry? 

He was thoroughly distressed by the time he burst through the exit, frantically looking for you among the few people still straggling outside. His panic rose when he couldn’t spot you. Willing his heart to calm, he took a deep breath, immediately picking up your scent in the air. Turning left, he followed the scent trail and just as he turned a corner he spotted you. The blue of your dress was stark against the otherwise dim surroundings, like a neon light in the dark. You were stumbling along the pavement, clearly the alcohol was doing its job, but he could also hear your angry mutterings. For someone who was usually quiet and never drew attention to herself, you were swinging way too opposite your usual scale of behaviour. As he speeded up to catch up to you, he realised he wasn’t the only one to notice. 

Some humans loitering beside an alleyway a few metres ahead were very opening leering at you, attention firmly on your swaying figure perfectly on display in your skin tight dress as they watched you approach. He broke into a run, anger and fear for you battling inside him. 

“Back the fuck off!”, he shouted when he saw one of them break from the group to approach you. 

Hearing him you stopped in your angry stride abruptly, not turning around to look at him. When he caught up to you, he placed a protective hand on your shoulder immediately, glowering at the men who still seemed to be not getting his message, the man who had stepped forward was observing you both with a critical eye. Likely gauging whether he and his gang could take him up or not. 

“___, lets go home.”, Jeongguk whispered in your ear from behind, and you jolted hearing your actual name from his mouth. 

It seemed he couldn’t get one thing right this night because you turned on him so fast he startled back.

Pointing a finger at his chest, you raged with mascara smudged tears running down your face. “No, I’m not going anywhere with you! Fuck off! I’m done being a toy you can play with!”

Jeongguk gaped at you for a moment, the sight of you so distressed and angry had him feeling a little helpless. He reached for you, but you flinched back, stumbling in your heels. 

A pain bloomed in his chest, like a glass shard lodged in skin and he was convinced that it was his own doing which had put it there. Doing his best to appear harmless, he gently caught your cold hand to stabilise you. 

“__, I’m sorry. We can sort this all out at home, okay. Let me take you home.”, he spoke softly, his ears folded over on his head as he placed his other hand on the small of your back. 

He was never one to display the typical domestic hybrid behaviours so many humans associated hybrids in general with. He was a wolf, he acted like one. But right now, all he wanted to do was give you puppy dog eyes and ask for warm hugs till you forgot about whatever he’d done to fuck up things so bad. 

Tonight wasn’t his night though.

“Oh now you wanna call me by my name, huh? What happened to “owner”?”, your voice was dripping with derision, a sneer on your tear-streaked face. 

“Is that guy bothering you?”, one of the creepy guys who had been leering at you asked, ironically. Giving Jeongguk a smirk, he ambled a little closer towards you.

Jeongguk’s hackles rose, his wild instincts thrumming to protect his territory which was currently under threat for all he cared. But these guys were humans, he had to be cautious, if he beat them into a pulp like he was itching to, he could end up in jail for a long time, or worse be put down without a proper trial. Hybrids weren’t treated like the rest of the general population when it came to acting in self defence. 

On top of that he was a trained fighter. He could lose his license as a trainer if he put his hands on these puny, malnourished bastards. 

But Jeongguk swore if the pervert took one more step towards you he’d throw caution to the wind, chance his luck and cave the fuckhead’s face in with his fist. 

You turned your head to look at the guy in confusion, having not even realised someone was there in the first place. The guy had the audacity to put out his hand for you to take. 

Jeongguk growled threateningly, a sound that came deep from his chest, lengthened canines on display as he bared his teeth in a predatory snarl. 

The pervert faltered, hand falling to his side as he swallowed, but making another shameless attempt he called out to you, “Come with me sweetheart. We can go anywhere you like. Or would you like us to beat up this dog for you?”

You recoiled, disgust clear on your face as you pressed into Jeongguk’s chest to get away from them. 

Jeongguk suppressed his smile when you, very drunkenly, put them in their place. 

“My hybrid broke a hulking bear’s jaw yesterday, do you guys want a bone alignment too? Or maybe you have a death wish?”, you asked sarcastically, wildly pointing at them to make your point.

Jeongguk had had enough of stalling out on this cracked pavement, under broken streetlights and he could tell you were getting cold. He was getting you home within the next ten seconds or else. 

Swiftly removing the black button down he was wearing, that all club employees were supposed to wear, he wrapped it around your shoulders as you gesticulated at the men some more, this time involving middle fingers. He was wearing a t-shirt underneath so he was good to go. 

Next he lifted you into his arms easily, a surprised yelp escaping you as you clutched his shoulders for balance. Making an about turn he strode towards the direction where his car was parked, not giving another glance to the human men looking at you both bewildered. 

Surprisingly, you didn’t put up any fight to get down from his arms, clenching your fingers in the fabric of his shirt around you to keep it from falling down. He peered down at you cautiously, knowing that he was taking a liberty carrying you like this but he could not stand in the presence of those vile men ogling at you while you shivered in the cold for one more moment. He was able to smell their sick thoughts and arousal for you, he wouldn’t have been able to control himself he didn’t take you away from there immediately. 

You looked spent and small in his arms, like all the fight had left your body. You didn’t look at him, instead finding something immensely interesting in the club logo printed on his T-shirt and swirling your finger around the design over his left pec. It was nothing, just the tip of your finger over fabric, but it made him shudder nonetheless. 

You had absolutely no clue what you did to them, how your smallest gesture or quirk send their hearts tailspinning much like yours did when they teased you. 

Taehyung and him had decided that it was better for everyone that their new owner didn’t know how they felt about her. Owning hybrids for the first time, they knew it was difficult for you to adjust your life around them anyhow, when not even factoring your own attraction to them, they had decided not to mix in their own emotions into it to make it any harder for you. 

But Jeongguk was wondering if maybe that wasn’t the best course of action anymore. 

He sighed, your silence was killing him more than your angry shouts. “Own—”

“If you think I’ve forgiven you, don’t. I don’t want to talk to you.” You sniffled slightly and if your words weren’t enough, the sound jabbed him straight in the heart.

Jeongguk knew when to throw in the towel and apologise sincerely, though he still wasn’t quite sure exactly what had made you cry so bad. 

“Forgive me, Owner. I should have told you it was me back in the club, I didn’t real—”

Your sudden glare on him was so intense, his words automatically died in his throat. What had he done now?

“You think I’m angry because I didn’t know that it was you?!”, you snapped, voice loud and decidedly pissed off once again. He gulped, glancing down at you cautiously but not breaking his stride to his car parked behind the club. 

“Then what are you angry at?”, he dared to ask, though something told him that he was only digging himself a deeper hole. But he’d fucked up royally somehow anyway, how worse could it get?

The scowl on your face and the tinge of red taking over the skin of your face told him the answer. Your next words were screamed at his head. “How about not coming up to me in the first place?! How about leaving me be?!”

Jeongguk stopped walking as a horrifying thought occurred to him. His voice was dumbfounded as he asked, “Are you saying it wasn’t cons—”

“NO!”

Jeongguk’s soul almost left his body at your scream, as he flinched back from you. At this rate he wouldn’t be surprised if someone called the police. 

A sliver of irritation was quickly replacing his remorsefulness. “Then you did want me to kiss you? And it’s not about me not revealing my identity? Then what is it? You’re not making any sense, Owner.”

“Put me down.”

“What?”

“Put me down.”, you snapped, squirming in his arms so that he was forced to let you stand on your feet.

“We’re almost to my car, please don’t tell me you won’t let me take us home. I’m sorry for making you angry. Again.”

You shook your head, and he almost panicked at your apparent refusal but you allayed it. “Lead the way.”

When you both got to his car, you refused any help from him, running ahead of him slip in the back passenger seat before he could open the front one for you. He sighed, never knowing you were such a petty sulker, but frankly he should have expected it. 

He blasted the heat when he settled in the driver’s seat, reaching back to adjust the rear vents so they directly faced you. The whole time in the car he kept glancing in the review mirror.  You didn’t meet his eyes once, but passed out in your seat two blocks away from reaching home.   

Jeongguk knew he had a mountain to climb ahead of him. For a minute there, his thoughts had taken an unbearable turn. What if whatever he had done damaged his relationship with you permanently? He wouldn’t be able to live with himself. 

But he shook them away, not accepting the possibility. 

Parking in the driveway, he exited and rounded the car to open your door. You were deep asleep, the streaks of the tears still visible on your face and your dress so bunched up around your hips, he could almost see your panties. 

Averting his eyes, he wiped your face gently, doing his best to get the rid of the smudged mascara on your skin. Not wanting to wake you up, he took you in his arms so carefully and gently, it was almost like he was holding a newborn. You were as fragile to him though. 

Taehyung opened the front door even before Jeongguk could attempt to take out his keys, his eyes widening taking in the sight of you. 

He had enough presence of mind to keep his voice down. “What the fuck happened?”, he whisper-shouted as he let you both in. 

“Ugh.” Did Jeongguk really have to do this right now? He kinda just wanted to tuck you in, cuddle up to you and sleep forever. 

Taehyung wanted answers though, closing the door behind him, his hyung followed the two of you to your bedroom, feet shuffling frantically. “You had one job, Jeongguk. You were supposed to look out for her, why is she passed out?”

Jeongguk gestured for Taehyung to flip the bedding so he could settle you in. Taehyung narrowed his eyes at his non-answer but did it nonetheless. Laying you down and removing your heels, he answered the elder. “She’s just asleep.”

Taehyung was going to strangle him. He was just prolonging the inevitable. 

Taehyung was silent for a moment, before he whispered ominously. “Has she been crying?”

Or not. 

“Umm.”

Taehyung growled. And trust Jeongguk when he says a tiger’s growl is equal a throaty roar that can make one piss his pants. 

“Jeongguk.”

The younger sighed, getting up to face Taehyung’s wrath. This was officially turning out to be the worst night ever. Taehyung was very protective over you, much like him, though the tiger hybrid didn’t show it as often as he did, which was not much in the first place. But Jeongguk was certain he’d tear apart limb from limb any person who dared to make you cry. Jeongguk just hoped he made an exception for him. 

Taehyung’s face was carefully blank and his voice deadpan, “Jeongguk, tell me why she was crying, or I’ll make you cry.”

Nodding, the wolf gestured for him to come to the living room so as not to disturb you. 

He wished this night got over already.

********

You’d been dreaming of soft fur and an even softer kisses when you woke up, the pleasant images your subconscious was supplying slipping out of your grasp and into oblivion till you couldn’t remember them anymore. 

Instead a dull throbbing ache in your head and in your heart replaced them and by the time you were throwing the duvet off to get up your body ached too. 

“Ugh.” You plopped your head in your hands, feeling like death warmed over. You were feeling a little floaty and disjointed but from the corner of your eyes you sighted the ibuprofen on the bedside table along with a glass of water bringing you hurtling down into reality. 

Your brain supplied memory after memory of the previous night against your will, if you could stop the onslaught of remembrance you would, but you were helpless against it. Whatever happened to too much alcohol making you forget your drunken self? You clearly hadn’t been drunk enough, you guessed. 

Wanting to burrow back under the covers so you never had to face your hybrids but feeling gross as hell, you gingerly got up from your bed to head into your en-suite, internally thanking your real estate agent that you had a bathroom attached in every bedroom of your house. 

As you showered, you couldn’t help but come to terms with what you’d done. Storm off on Jeongguk after publicly climbing him like a tree and play battle of the tongues with him, almost get into trouble with some creepy men, scream Jeongguk’s ear off with your hysterical fit and sulk afterwards. He was likely so fucking confused at your behaviour, it wasn’t like they knew your feelings for them were serious and your anger more like a jilted lover who’d been told their relationship wasn’t serious rather than about your bruised pride, though the latter hurt just as much. 

You could never tell them the real reason though, they’d pity you more than they already did. That’s why you were dithering in your bedroom, putting on your cozy hoodie that reached the bottom of your thighs as slowly as you could. Not having the will to do much else with your appearance, you left it at that. 

Time to put on your big girl panties. 

When you stepped outside you immediately spotted them in the living room. Taehyung was sprawled on the couch, manspreading in a way that forced one’s gaze straight to the crotch and his inviting lap, sipping his tea languidly. 

The sight an smell of tea pulled you robotically closer till the Jeongguk’s figure came into view and you stopped abruptly. He was sitting on the edge of the couch, on pins and needles. 

And he sported a black eye. 

You gasped involuntary at the sight, drawing your hybrids’ attention to you, ears twitching and tails immediately in motion. Jeongguk sprang up from his seat, evidently aiming to amble towards you but you swiftly changed directions and dashed into the kitchen instaed, but not before seeing his crestfallen face at your apparent retreat. 

Grabbing a bag of frozen peas from the freezer you rushed back to the living room, his face lighting up again at your return. What a silly wolf. 

Even before you could stand before him properly, you were slapping the bag of ice cold peas on his eye. 

“Ow.”, he grunted, looking up at you beguilingly from where he had sat back down on the couch. 

“How did this happen?”, you asked, turning your head to narrow your eyes at Taehyung because you had your suspicions. 

The two often roughhoused with each other, giving as best as they got. Even with all of Jeongguk’s training you’d noticed Taehyung never seemed intimidated by it, matching the younger for every swipe and punch. You never thought it was your place to get in between what was clearly nothing serious, just a way to blow off steam between the hybrids but none of them had ever ended up with a bruise before.

Taehyung shrugged, putting his cup down. “We just talked.”

“With your fists?”

Jeongguk grabbed your wrist to pull it down from his eye, showcasing to you the light purple outline along his eye. “It’s already halfway healed, Owner. It’s gonna be back to normal in an hour or two.”

Shaking his hand off yours, you slapped the pea bag back on his eyes. You didn’t care to hear them boast about their accelerated healing, a black eye was a black eye.

 “Or an hour or four.”, he grumbled, rolling one eye up at you. Slowly, he brought his hands up to circle them around your waist, clutching you tightly close. Your heart pounded but you didn’t say anything.

“I’m a fighter, it’s nothing I’m not used to.”

“Did I ask?”

Taehyung guffawed from behind you.

Jeongguk pouted. “Right.” He fidgeted a little, clearly bubbling with something more to say but hesitating.

“Just say it, Jeongguk. And remember what I told you.”, Taehyung said exasperatedly. 

You frowned but Jeongguk’s monologue overran your confusion. 

“I’m sorry for not considering your feelings, ___. If you thought that I was playing a prank on you or that I kissed you just for the heck of it, that’s not true! I had been keeping an eye on you all night and you looked so beautiful. When that fucker tried to put his gross hands on you in the club, I couldn’t let it happen. I was gonna leave you alone the whole night, let you enjoy by yourself, that was the plan. But I couldn’t help but give in when you clutched my hands around your waist like you never wanted to let go. And you smelled so good and looked so fucking sexy. I was helpless not to give in. But in no way, was I playing a joke on you or toying with you or whatever else you’ve convinced yourself. It was just my genuine, unadulterated want for you.”

You stared down at him in bewilderment before turning your head to glance at Taehyung. The tiger hybrid looked proud of his younger, nodding at you like he agreed that Jeongguk had been a good boy and it was time for his treat. 

“See. We just talked and I helped him along with his apology.”, Taehyung informed sagely. 

Then something registered belatedly. “Wait. Keeping an eye on me all night long? Let me enjoy myself? You knew I was there the whole time?”

Jeongguk, who had been glowing a little with self pride, looked like all his hopes had been dashed once again. Luckily his hyung was there to save him. 

“Eh, ___. I thought that was a moot point but I should have known you’re a little slow on the uptake. I planted those flyers in our mailbox.”

You turned on him so fast you got whiplash, Jeongguk’s hands falling from your waist. “What?!”

“Umm.” Taehyung eyed the frozen pea bag still in your hand, worried that you were going to hurl it at his head. “I take back the part about you being slow on the uptake?”

“Why did you do it?”, you asked, feeling hurt creep back up on you after the warmth Jeongguk’s words had blossomed. Had they planned this all out to make a fool of yourself? 

Taehyung was remarkably more perceptive than his younger. He realised you were getting riled up in your self-deprecating thoughts again immediately. He got up, closing the distance between you to take your hands in his and pull you closer. Hooking your chin up to make you look at him, he peered into your eyes for an excruciatingly long moment, his orange ears flicking on top of his head when he frowned. 

“I know what you’re thinking. Please don’t. We were just worried. When you told us you were going to a club, I thought why not the one where Jeongguk’s gonna work? He could look out for you from afar while you had the break from us you were clearly going for. Kill two birds with one stone. You weren’t supposed to know he was there.”

Your eyes widened in surprise. He knew why you had not spent your weekend like you usually did and went clubbing instead. He was even more perceptive than you gave him credit for. 

Taehyung smiled slightly at your surprise, taking your right wrist in his hands to softly rub circles on your pulse, a peculiarity of his and Jeongguk’s that they often did. You never asked why but got nervous and flustered everytime they took your wrist in their hands. 

But today you were curious enough. You held up your hand, taking his along. “You guys do this a lot. Why?”

Taehyung, whose gaze was as penetrating as ever a few seconds ago, flitted his eyes away from yours. You heard Jeongguk get up to stand beside you, taking your other hand in his. 

“We can’t properly scent you, __. This is us compensating for it.”, he informed. The bruise around his eye was almost gone, a thin ring of bluish-purpled skin all that was remaining. 

Your frown of cluelessness was clear on your face. 

Instead of answering your unspoken question, Taehyung asked one of his own, stepping even closer till your chest brushed his and you had no choice but to look up as he towered over you. “Tell me, Owner. Did you want Jeongguk to kiss you? Although I know the answer already, be honest.”

You should have been offended at his presumption but you had no room to hide from your feelings anymore, not that you ever had. But you were feeling impossibly exposed since yesterday night, might as well rip off the band-aid and get it over with. 

“Yes.’, you whispered. Jeongguk pulled your hand up to kiss your palm. 

Taehyung smirked. “Do you want me to kiss you?”

God, yes. You nodded. 

Taehyung shook his head, chuffing disapprovingly. “Speak up, Owner. I don’t want any mixed signals between us anymore.”

You bit your lip, but gave in. He was right, it was past time that you went past silent pining and them loud diversion through their constant teasing. 

“Yes please. Kiss me Taehyung.” 

Taehyung closed his eyes, before he closed the distance between you, urgently murmuring one last confession before taking your lips in a searing kiss. “I have been dying to.”

Hands going into his hair immediately to keep him in place, you stood on your tip-toes to deepen the kiss. It wasn’t a slow, languid exploration like the kiss with Jeongguk but a frenzied meeting of lips that left the taste of tea on your tongue when he pushed his inside your mouth. His hand cupped your cheek ever so tenderly, starkly contrasting the ravenous way he devoured your mouth. 

You sensed Jeongguk behind you before he pushed your hair off one of your shoulders, making room for his lips on the pulse at the crook of your neck. He sucked at the sensitive skin before biting it gently, making you groan in Taehyung’s mouth. 

Nuzzling the skin behind your ear, the wolf hybrid whispered heavily. “This is scenting. Our scent all over you so other hybrids know to stay away. Know that you are taken.”

You broke the dizzying kiss to turn your head to the younger, much to Taehyung’s annoyance as he chuffed and attached his lips to your jaw instead, trailing kisses to the other side of your neck. 

“It comforts us to know that our territory is marked.”, the tiger hybrid continued, his voice a low baritone somewhere between a growl and rumble. 

“Your territory, huh?” You raised a brow, a small smile playing on your lips as you tilted you head to bare more of your neck to him. 

Taehyung straightened, his canines had lengthened a little, giving a sinister edge to his crooked smile. “Do you have any doubts, Owner? Want us to give you a demonstration of exactly how much we own you?”

Gulping at the veiled threat/inveiglement, your body couldn’t help but sing with anticipation and lust at it, arousal seeping from your pussy already. 

“Fuck, she’s wet, hyung.”, Jeongguk growled, nipping at your neck lightly, mindful of his sharp teeth. “You smell so good when you’re turned on, Owner.”

Taehyung tilted his head. “Is that a yes? We won’t go easy on you, we’ve wanted this ever since you first stepped foot inside that lawyer’s office.”

He was saying everything you’d wanted to hear from them ever since they came into your life, your wildest fantasies were coming true. 

Reaching up to card your finger into Taehyung’s hair, you ran your nails at the base of his soft orange and black striped ears. An involuntary chuff escaped him automatically and he narrowed his eyes at you. He was so tiger-like in his disposition, arrogant, ever-knowing and loved to keep his feelings in isolation by directing attention on everyone but himself, unless he was modeling that is. No more.

“I’ve wanted this too. But you both knew that, I didn’t exactly make a secret of it.” Reaching behind you pulled Jeongguk closer too, giving his furry ears the same treatment. Unlike Taehyung he accepted your petting gladly. “For once I want you guys to be as vulnerable as I always am around you two.”

Taehyung pursed his lips. “How exactly do we do that?”

You smirked, much like he did whenever he teased you. “You call me Owner but do I really own you? I want to hear it from your lips. Both of yours.”

Taehyung stilled in front of you while Jeongguk was silent only momentarily before barking, “You own me, Owner. I am yours.”

You huffed a laugh at his eagerness but the sincerity in Jeongguk’s voice spread tingles of warmth to your heart, his deep voice flaming your libido. You challenged Taehyung with your eyes.

The tiger studied you for a second before sighing, knowing you’d put him on the spot and he couldn’t get away with dodging talking about his feelings like he usually did. “You own me, __. But we own you too.”

“That’s fine with me.”, you murmured before reaching up to pull him for another mind-melting kiss. 

Jeongguk whined from behind you. “Thats unfair.”

Without breaking away, you took the wolf hybrid’s hands to snake them inside your hoodie and upon your bare breasts. His palms immediately kneading them, hardening your nipples. 

“Fuck yes.”, he grunted in your neck, pinching your nipples till you gasped and broke the kiss, the electric pleasure going straight to your core till you were rubbing your thighs together. 

Taehyung grabbed the hem of your hoodie to pull it up and off your head in one jerky motion, till you stood before them in nothing but your panties. 

Some of your momentary bravado fizzled at the prospect of them checking you out while you were so bare, you fidgeted your hands up to try and cover your breasts. 

Jeongguk’s hands caught yours before you could. “Nuh uh.”

Taehyung bit his lip as he surveyed your naked upper body, reaching up to circle your left areola but not touching the hardened peak of your breast, torturing you slowly. “These belong to us now, you said so yourself. You can’t hide them away from us from now on.”

“Please.”, you sighed when he continued evading your neglected nipple. 

Smiling at your begging, he rewarded you by pushing you back in Jeongguk’s arms and bending down to take your nipple in his hot mouth. Your toes curled immediately as your head hit the wolf’s shoulder, current travelling straight to your pussy at his eager suckling. 

“Fuck, I’ve got the best view.”, Jeongguk breathed into your hair, watching his hyung worship your breast, his striped tail swishing behind him. 

Not able to help himself, Jeongguk slid his hands down to hook into your panties, teasing them down till they fell on the floor. Parting your legs with his thigh and catching the back of your leg with his hand, he put your foot on the couch to give him unfettered access to your dripping pussy. 

Your folds parted on their own at the position he put you in, and when his fingers touched your pussy he found your weeping center immediately, your hole clenching at his touch.. 

When he pushed one finger in slowly, you brought your hands to Taehyung’s head to clutch him to your chest, the tiger hybrid looking up at you with mirth in his eyes. 

Turning your head you whispered in Jeongguk’s ear, “More.”

He smirked...and removed the one finger he’d lodged inside you. 

“Jeongguk!”, you whined, mouth turning down at the corners when Taehyung left your breast too. 

Before you had time to complain, the wolf was pulling you back to abruptly manhandle you over the edge of the couch’s armrest, so that your naked ass stuck out in the air enticingly while your upper body sprawled stomach down on the plush seat. 

“You want more? I think you’d love Taehyung hyung’s tongue on your cunt. He’s got a way with it that even I can’t compete with.” Jeongguk parted your legs to bare your pussy to him, groaning as he thumbed the labia and stretched it open, giving him a view of your empty hole, glistening wet and begging him for a taste. “I wanna eat you out so bad.”

Lifting yourself up on your elbows, you glanced back at him in confusion, your face indicating you’d love for him to do just that. “Then do.”

Taehyung stepped beside Jeongguk, pulling his oversized button up shirt over his head without bothering with the buttons and somehow just that simple action made you even more wetter. 

Shaking his head to clear his shaggy hair off his face, he threw the shirt to the side, before giving you a secretive smile, as if he was aware of every thought going through your head. He likely was.

Jeongguk stepped aside to give his spot to his hyung, eyes not leaving the prize between your legs once, it was clearly hard for him to give up eating you out to his elder. 

Jeongguk gave you a knowing smirk as he came to stand before you, hands on the fly of his jeans. “Trust me, Owner. You want hyung’s tongue on you more than mine.”

Taehyung kneeled behind you, parting your thighs much like Jeongguk had. You jolted a little when you felt his fingertip find and rub your clit with experienced ease. Slow, deliberate circles as you felt the heat of his face approach closer to your core. 

You expected his tongue but he blew on your open pussy, making you clench and groan at the tingling sensation. “Please don’t tease, Tae.”

“Why don’t I distract you while hyung does what he wants.”, Jeongguk growled, grabbing your hair roughly to turn your face to him. 

The tight grip on your hair and the sight of a big, fat cock two inches from your mouth, had you salivating. You made to rub your thighs together to alleviate some pressure but yelped when Taehyung slapped your asscheek reprimandingly. 

“Don’t you dare hide away my breakfast.”, he rumbled before promptly taking your clit in mouth, sucking hard while circling the bead with his tongue. Simultaneously, his hand on your ass slid down to push two long fingers in your dripping hole without any warning.

Your gasp was choked back by Jeongguk jamming his cock in your mouth, not giving you any reprieve as he collected your hair in a makeshift ponytail to help him ride your face. 

“Yes.”, he grunted, teeth clenched at the feel of your tongue on the underside of his dick. “You don’t know how many times I’ve dreamed about this, Owner. You sucking me off while Hyung eats you out.”

You moaned around his cock, relaxing your throat to take more of him, loving the feel of him so big in your mouth almost to the point of choking. That along with Tae’s mouth on your clit had you on cloud nine, all your dreams coming true already. 

You’d almost gotten settled into the rhythm of Jeongguk’s thrusts into your mouth when Taehyung pulled back to run his tongue from your clit to your perineum in one slow lick. 

This time you choked on Jeongguk’s cock for real, and the wolf generously pulled out to give you room to breath, smirking down at you. “Now you get why?”

Taehyung slid his tongue over your inner labia, probing yout hole but not going deeper. 

You keened. “What is that? It’s like...”, you trailed off because you couldn’t put it into words. 

His tongue wasn’t like anybody else’s you’d had on your pussy before, it felt ridged, like a thousand small peaks over the surface which had your sensitive pussy overstimulated at a thousand different points. 

One more excruciatingly slow lick, that had you clenching your fingers on Jeongguk’s thighs it was so good, and Taehyung pulled back to shrug at you. “Perks of being half tiger. I got a tongue like one.”

Your brain supplied a vague memory of you reading about tigers having spikes on their tongues somewhere. A tiger’s licks were supposed to be painful because of them, but Tae’s felt like it was made to eat a pussy out. You briefly wondered if that was deliberate on the part of the scientists who bred them before Taehyung was going back to giving you his genetically enhanced cunnilingus experience and making you forget all lines of thought.

A nudge from Jeongguk had you taking him back in your mouth, though it was seriously hard to concentrate on the blowjob when Taehyung was making your pussy feel like it was getting its own customised massage. Thankfully, Jeongguk took over the hard part from you by grabbing your hair and thrusting his fat cock in your mouth so that you only had to keep your mouth open and throat relaxed for him while he used you. 

When Taehyung pushed his alien tongue inside your pussy, your eyes rolled back at the feeling. He was eating you out in earnest now, drinking up the juices you produced for him, his hands on your lower back keeping you in place while he enjoyed himself. You could tell he truly loved doing this, he was clearly good at it because in no time you felt yourself climbing that familiar hill of pleasure. One thumb snaked down to gently ghost over your puckered back hole, making you clench your pussy walls around his invading tongue. 

His tongue felt so good, you couldn’t imagine how the cock in your mouth would feel in your pussy. They were clearly experienced lovers, though it wasn’t something you wanted to delve into currently. 

The triple onslaught of his finger circling your clit, his tongue working your cunt and the thumb on your anus, had you hurtling towards your orgasm at breakneck speed. Jeongguk felt you coming too, because he pulled back just as Taehyung flicked your clit with his tongue. 

The texture of his tongue made your clit zing with pleaure-pain as your orgasm washed over you so suddenly it left you winded. 

“Taehyung!”, you screamed his name so loudly the neighbours must have heard it. 

You slumped down on the couch, panting slightly. Taehyung ran a comforting hand up your bare back as he got up. You didn’t even realise Jeongguk taking his spot till you felt the distinct touch of the wolf folding one of your legs over the couch, spreading you impossibly wide. 

“Owner, your pussy is so swollen and cute. Hyung ate you out so well.”

You snorted, not getting up from your sprawled position. “Did you just call my vagina cute?”

Jeongguk huffed more cutely than any part of your body could ever look. “It is. And it’s gonna look even cuter with my cock stuffed deep in it.”

You laughed. “Yes please, but you gotta stop calling it cute.”

Taehyung plopped down on the couch beside your head. “It’s our pussy now. We can call it whatever we want. Infact, I’m gonna name it peaches after my favourite fruit.”

Highly offended, you propoed up on your elbows to give him a peice of your mind but he bent down to cover your mouth with his, effectively shutting you up. His hands carded into your hair to pull you up and deeper into the kiss and you forgot about what you had to say. 

This time you distinctly felt the uneven texture (along with the taste of your pussy) on his tongue, something you’d failed to notice during the first kiss. 

He pulled back to whisper against your lips, eyes hooded. “Because yours is the sweetest pussy I’ve ever tasted.”

Jeongguk’s pushed in three fingers then, immediately feeling you gush around his finger at Taehyung’s words. Even though you weren’t a fan of hearing about any of their previous exploits, the thought you being the best pussy he’d tasted made your heart clench. 

Jeongguk chuckled. “Are you a slut for praises, Owner? Your pussy just went impossibly tight and wet.”

“I’m a slut for your cock. Put it in, Jeongguk.”, you whined as your hands attacked Taehyung’s zipper, craving his cock in your mouth. 

“Yes you fucking are.”, Jeongguk cursed thrusting inside you in one swift motion that had you tumbling into Taehyung’s lap as you cried out at the feeling of being so fucking full. 

It had been a long time since you’d had sex and you were feeling the effects, your cunt walls moulded to his cock like a warm, wet second skin and you clenched around him to get him deeper. 

“Fuck don’t do that, __. I’m gonna knot you before I even get to fuck you properly.”

“Then fuck me!”, you cried. 

He pulled back slowly, almost making you cry at the pace, before he thrust in so hard you felt his cock near your cervix. Soon, he set a brutal pace that had your jaw lax and eyes clenched in pleaure. His cock was so big and fat, he was making your walls throb from the inside. 

Taehyung pushed your hair behind your ears, making you look up at him. You realized you’d abandoned the blowjob you were about to give him when Jeongguk’s cock made you forget everything. You didn’t know how you could give him a good suck when you were being drilled into so thoroughly, but you made to try nonetheless, putting your hand on his bulge.

He took your hand in his, stopping you. Leaning forward, Taehyung kissed you tenderly. “Don’t worry about me. I’m so hard just looking at the beautiful face  you make when you get fucked good.”

You pulled him in to your lips again, groaning in his mouth when Jeongguk adjusted his pelvis to fuck up into you, brutally pounding your g-spot till you felt a deep pressure build inside you that had you shaking in Taehyung’s arms. 

Your nails dug into his arms, and pretty soon you couldn’t even concentrate on his lips, your face thumping down on his shoulder as your whole body moved from Jeongguk’s hard thrusts that had his pelvis slapping your ass in a rhythmic lewd noise that filled the room.

Biting down on Tae’s shoulder, you clenched around Jeongguk involuntarily when you felt him snake his hand down to your clit. The pressure built till you cried out his name on a prayer. 

“Jeongguk please! Make me come!”

His panting breath came out on a groan as his hand tightened on your hip, pulling you back on his thick cock with every thrust. “Anything for you.”

And then you felt it, the pressure at the entrance of your pussy, but a different kind than the one you felt internally. The base of Jeongguk’s dick expanded, swollen till you felt it distinctly nudging at your entrance at every thrust. 

“Tell me I can knot you, Owner. Please.”, the wolf hybrid pleaded, not faltering as he fucked you into the couch.

“Yes!”, you keened, hungry for everything he had to give you. 

With one more hard thrust, his knot was breaching your entrance making you cry out in pleasure-pain. With his second thrust, he lodged the bulb deep into your cunt. 

Taehyung pinched your nipples, both to distract you from the pain and torture you some more. The double assault had you coming for the second time, a tsunami of electric pleasure washing over every nerve of your body. 

Your orgasm triggered Jeongguk’s, the impossible tightness of your heaven of a pussy not allowing him to hold back any longer. He bathed your insides in hot, thick cum, a never ending stream of it in your womb which left you feeling even fuller if that was possible. You felt thoroughly stuffed. 

Jeongguk collapsed over your back where you were already sprawled on Taehyung’s lap, his weight over you sticky but comforting. 

“Just give me a second.”, he panted, sounding more wounded than you’d ever heard him, which was a feat considering he fought for a living. 

You turned your head to kiss his nose, and he smiled, not opening his eyes. He puckered his lips and you obliged him with a kiss. Something about kissing the wolf while he was buried deep inside you, his cum almost leaking from where you two were attached, had you feeling warm from the inside. You wanted, no needed, an endless repeat of the past hour for the rest of your life. 

Soon enough, his knot was deflating and he was leaving your lips to get up from over you. He was still hard when he pulled out of you, immediately making you feel so so empty. 

Thankfully because you were lying horizontally, not much of the huge load of cum he’d given you slipped out, though you could feel it deep inside of you. 

But when Taehyung stepped behind you to take his turn fucking you, he dashed your dreams of keeping all the cum they gave you inside. 

He grabbed your asscheeks, pulling them apart to give him a clear view of your freshly fucked pussy. Licking his lips, he ordered. “Push it out. I wanna see his cum dribble out of your cunt.”

Pouting, you looked back at him.

He laughed, slapping your ass in chastisement. “I’ll fill you up again, don’t worry. Now clench your walls and push it out.”

You obeyed happily at the thought of being filled again, clenching your pelvic muscles to push out the cum Jeongguk gave you. You felt it rising up towards your entrance and soon enough the thick white liquid was dripping out of you in abundance, leaking down your pussy and on the couch. 

Taehyung cursed, keeping you open for him to look at till his heart’s content. “Fuck, that’s a sight. You know this is it right? Once I’ve claimed you too, you can’t let anyone else touch you like this, Owner.”

A giddy thrill ran through you at his words, he was saying exactly what you wanted to hear. But right now you wanted him inside you more, pillowtalk could be had afterwards. “Wasn’t planning on it. Now will you fuck me, please. I need your cock inside me.”

He tilted his head, his ears twitching as if in amusement. “Be careful what you ask for.”

Slightly confused at his words, all thoughts fled your brain when he pumped his beautiful cock in his hand and brought it to your entrance, running it up and down your slit before pushing the tip in. He wasn’t as big as Jeongguk but he was just as thick, and as your pussy got a filled second time that day, you felt that strange sensation again, but this time on the inner walls of your cunt.

Your mouth dropped open on a silent cry, it was too much, you’d never felt anything like it. Even after being thoroughly fucked once by Jeongguk, your pussy felt assaulted by Taehyung’s cock. You were starting to realise why Jeongguk fucked you first.

Taehyung’s cock was covered in ridges much like his tongue was, the spiky sensation along your walls felt so foreign yet so good, it had you babbling without thinking. “Why haven’t I been with a tiger hybrid before? Ugh— I-I’ve been missing out.”

Taehyung stilled inside you and you cried out as the feeling of him pushing his cock in stopped. 

Grabbing you by the hair, he pulled you back toward him roughly, making you yelp. Your hand on the back of the couch was the only thing supporting your upper body as his cock slid in deeper into you. 

“You could’ve have had this dick much sooner had you not been running away from us all the time.”, he whispered in your ear. 

Turning your head as much as you could with his fist in your hair, you glared at him. “You could’ve had this pussy much sooner had you not been making fun of me all the time.”

Taehyung huffed a laugh, nuzzling your jaw with his nose as he started moving in you again, shallow thrusts that had his cock scraping your pussy walls. “Making fun? You’re so cute when you’re clueless.”

“What—aah.”

The shallow movements gave way to a harsh thrust that had him pulling almost all the way out to pound into your cunt forcefully. The mushroom tip of his cock scrapped your g-spot so perfectly, it had you shutting up immediately. 

Taehyung wrapped his arms around your torso to keep you suspended in the air while he pounded you from behind. The familiar pressure creeping up on you for the third time so fast it left you reeling. 

Taehyung knew what he was doing, he angled his hips to hit your g-spot again and again with every thrust while his ridged cock stroked your walls from the inside better than any ribbed dildo could. His cock made you want to throw out all your woefully inadequate sex toys, now that you’d had the best thing ever in your pussy. 

Sliding down the expanse of your stomach, he pinched your clit with his fingers, making you bite your lip. Your overstimulated and abused pussy had been building upto something monumental all this time. The previous two times you had come but you hadn’t hurtled past that pressure that had been rising up ever since Jeongguk first touched your pussy. You knew you could squirt, although it took a lot to make you reach that point.

This whole morning had been the definition of “a lot’.

Maybe Taehyung could sense it to because he increased the speed of his thrusts, pulling you down on his cock to meet his every upward motion, the sound of hardcore fucking filling up the room again. The inner pressure on your g-spot with every thrust burst as Taehyung bit into your neck, dousing you both and the couch below in clear liquid as you reached your orgasm with a scream of the Tiger hybrid’s name. 

With every thrust from him, you squirted a little more till you had nothing to give and your orgasm dulled into oversensitivity. He continued pounding you for a few more seconds, clenching his eyes closed as he chased his own orgasm at the heel of yours. 

“Fuck, I’m coming, ___.”, he grunted as he released into you, the thick ropes of cum mingling with Jeongguk’s deep inside your pussy. 

With a thump, you both collapsed on the couch, Taehyung taking care to turn at the last second to take you in his arms. 

You opened your eyes after you came down from your high a little, still panting heavily. Jeongguk had returned to the room, wearing a fresh pair of clothes, and sitting on the couch opposite as he watched you two with a mixture of lust and fondness in his eyes. You couldn’t help but notice the prominent bulge in his pants.

Of course they had an insatiable libido. Go figure. 

The wolf hybrid got up to come closer, a freshly laundered washcloth in his hand. Taehyung helped you sit up against him. Taking the insides of you thighs in his hands, he spread your legs so Jeongguk could clean you up. 

They both were so careful and tender with you that it almost brought tears to your eyes, but you held them back lest they call you a wimp. 

Speaking of which…

“Why did you call me clueless earlier?”, you asked Taehyung as he wrapped you up in his arms. You sat on his lap sideways as Jeongguk covered you up with the throw blanket you often kept on our couch. The wolf sat beside you and propped your legs in his own lap. 

Taehyung pecked your temple, gently running his fingertips at the nape of your neck. “Because you are.”

“Do you really think we’d give two fucks about teasing someone we didn’t like?”, Jeongguk asked, his hand massaging your bare thighs. “You know us better than that, Owner. We never put any of our time or effort into anything we’re not interested in.”

Now that you think about it, you’d only ever seen them giving disarming smiles or winks to girls who were interested in them, never going so far as even giving them a word of encouragement or hint or anything else. Never leading them on. Everything they did was deliberate, you were coming to realise. Much like them asking for your whereabouts in the cafe that day so that Taehyung could plant those flyers and Jeongguk could look out for you the whole night. But still. 

“That’s a weird way of showing your interest, I hope you guys know that. You both could have just come out and said it. It’s not like I was making any secret of my hopeless attraction to you guys.”, you complained, crossing your arms over your chest. 

You could feel Taehyung smiling in your hair. 

“Where’s the fun in that?” Jeongguk rolled his eyes. “And if you think we’re gonna stop teasing you, you’re hopelessly optimistic too, Owner.”

Taehyung snickered at your glare, pulling you closer to his chest. “Haven’t you heard, Owner? Boys always tease girls they like.”

That logic went over your head, but you didn’t question it, instead sighing in resignation as you whined for the nth time. “Okay, at least stop calling me owner.”

Jeongguk nodded easily. “As you wish, Owner.”

A/n: let me know what you thought, feedback keeps me writing.

[ghostfacesvalentine]

Are you two friends yet? Cloud Strife x Fem!Reader

Pairing: Cloud Strife x Fem!Reader

Warnings: Some cussing, mentions of death, itsy bitsy angst.

Type: One shot

Request: N/A

Word Count: 2,327

Prompt: The reader meets Cloud at Tifa's bar, tells him her story and it doesn't take long for Cloud to consider her a friend. Basically Reader and Cloud meet for the first time. Eeeep

Notes: HA bet you didn't expect this from me. But I've been getting into FF and there's not enough writing on them but since I'm still fairly new to this I just be testing the waters. I was so impatient to release this tho lol. Honestly I was thinking about making this longer, or at least making a part two and three because I really do like where this story is going and it def holds potential imo, but I mostly did this for shits and giggles because I'm also Clouds babie. Kiss kiss.

Growing up, you knew this was the life almost everyone had to endure, there was really no option of a warfree life, but sometimes that took a toll on you. You were exhausted, truly, but you kept that to yourself, you were sure many people were exhausted and that your feelings couldn't be validated. A few years back your father became a mercenary, abandoning you and your mother, it wasn't long after that your mother died protecting you, it was devastating, traumatic to say the least. You ached at the memory, nothing soothed it, your heart kept bleeding. There really was no comfort at the time, you were inconsolable. Still there was a lot of emotions brewing inside of you, mostly resentment, hatred, but overall fear. You would never admit it, you rather die. You were fearful of everything around you, but continued to train yourself to react violently at whatever made you afraid.

It didn't take long after your mothers death that you decided to take up his mantle of being a protector. It wasn't easy, it was far from that. There had been many times you were entangled in bruises, cuts and gauze, you got your fair share of both kicking and getting your ass kicked. However, you swore you'd fight back with your very life and you have. Your father never really taught you anything other than the basics in training, how to defend yourself, how to get out of sticky situations, how to react quickly. You weren't very familiar with weapons or how to wield them, correctly at least, but you adapted well to environments, using whatever was nearby to come out alive.

You'd been in more brawls than you could count, heaving as you zig zagged your way through alleyways and swinging whatever was nearby towards any attacker that was a hair away from you. Sometimes even doing the most basic errands became taxing, one of your favorite weapons became two small blades, about your forearms length, taken from one of your attackers from a previous battle. It was strenuous to handle them if you were being honest, you didn't know anything about these things, only from what you've seen with your opponents. There were plenty of moments where you've sliced your hands, arms, even thighs, which those hurt the most if you were being sincere. Of course there was much to grasp when it came to fighting.

here was no other way to learn than the hard way but you didn't want to be the defender anymore, you wanted to rest, you wanted to be the one behind the shield again, you wanted to take a break. You'd lock yourself in the bathroom, weep silently at the frustration all while taking a shower, getting dressed and ready for the day, never showing an ounce of hesitation before anyone. You didn't want anyone to be aware that you were afraid, you didn't want to admit it and you didn't want to be the protector anymore.

The closest release you've had were the times you'd massacre your attackers, all pretending they were the ones who had your mothers blood on their hands. This was your only outlet, this and training, you put your all into it. Every punch, kick, shove, swing, each of it was running on the hatred you felt, the hurt you carried. Still, nothing seemed to soothe.

Tifa was a close friend of yours, afterall you both could've used a friend like each other. You frequented her bar a lot, whether it was to get completely shitfaced because of the stress or just to unwind some, but always to see how Tifa was holding up. It was raining some, the streets were damp and you shoved yourself through the doors going straight to the elongated table but before you could make it any further you noticed a new face in the crowd. It wasn't uncommon for Tifa to serve travelers, but this was different.

She was visibly entertained with this unfamiliar face, he was slim toned, dressed in dark tones from head to toe, a threatening sword clasped onto his back, thick combat boots worthy of bloodshed evidence. You stared at him for a second, then looked at Tifa, it was then she caught your shape in the corner of her eye, as if her face couldn't light up any more, it certainly did. "Y/N!" She exclaimed, motioning you to come closer, but your hesitancy was persistent. After a few seconds you dragged yourself towards both of them. You stiffened as you sat next to the stranger, Tifa's eyes shifted back to you then the guy next to you, she knew you weren't very social, but he must be very important to her if she insisted you stop by. "Y/N, this is Cloud Strife. He's been a friend of mine since childhood, it's been a while since he came around." Her eyes then lingered towards him for a brief second. You gazed at him for a split second, your cheeks reddened delicately. "Cloud, this is Y/N. We met at the slums, she saved my ass back there." Tifa grinned with her arms crossed pressed against the table, her eyes moving back and forth between you and Cloud? was it. A frown fell upon your face, shaking your head in denial "What? No, if it wasn't for Tifa I'd be dinner." You laughed weakly, visibly nervous at the lack of interest coming from Tifa's childhood friend.

"Here, I'll get you guys a drink." The voided haired woman broke in silence, turning her back to the pair of you. As she busied herself, you swallowed dryly, unsure of how to react. He only sat there, almost as if he was lost in thought, battling in his own head, you were all too familiar with the feeling. You empathized with him though, trying not to judge him for his lack of social skills, after all, you were mimicking his energy, without meaning to. You pursed your lips and kept your eyes on the glass table waiting for Tifa to return, to your luck she was tending to others.

You've been in more awkward situations, you thought. It almost became hard to breathe, though the traffic was flowing relatively as usual, it still felt like you were in the spotlight. You wagered your options and among them all, you decided maybe excusing yourself to the bathroom was your best option. Your eyes glazing over to Tifa and just as you parted your lips to speak, Cloud spoke.

"How long have you known her?"

It caught you somewhat off guard, your head then swayed back to him, who was still in the same motionless position as prior. "Oh, um, about two years, going on three this spring." You nodded, pushing your hair back behind your ear as an indication of nervousness. Of course he didn't have to know that. "What are you visiting for?" You turned to him, still afraid to look him in the eyes, you weren't very good at handling rejection, any kind of rejection and to avoid handling it, you decided to go to the source, by avoiding interacting with anyone unless it was absolutely necessary.

He turned his head towards the direction of your hands, his eyes lingered for a moment, the same pout still expressed across his face. "Just wandering." Was his only explanation, which was good enough for you, prying was never something you did and you wouldn't start today. Tifas warm smile welcomed you again. "Here Y/N, your favorite." She beamed before you, pushing a glass of Y/F/D towards you and a glass towards Cloud. "This is Y/N's favorite drink, I thought you'd try something new today Cloud." She giggled, you turned your head over to the stiff guy, his pale cheeks coming alive with some pink. Initially you didn't get a good look at him, not until now, maybe it was Tifa that gave you the confidence. His eyes were bold, blue, vividly contrasting his face and his entire outfit, freckles splayed across his face, more noticeable with the newformed pink stains.

"I like it." He admitted after a sip, he seemed to take his time drinking, with no rush to go anywhere, you became more curious about this new person. Tifa grinned at his response, you continued to drink from your glass, falling back into your shell. Licking your lips as you looked down to the liquid, there was no way to make you more interesting, so you thought. Instead you let Tifa take the lead, but she was at work and it didn't take long for her to be busy again. "I'll be right back." She excused herself again, she didn't need to explain, she was at work after all. You turned your gaze to Cloud again, a little boozed up gave you a bit more confidence. "So, what do you do Cloud?" You choked out, it was almost painful to try to bring a conversation alive when the other person was just as perplexing

He sat there motionless once more, almost as if he didn't hear you, at this point you weren't really sure. "I was a soldier.. Now I just find, jobs to fulfill." He admitted, which explained his attire, not that you really questioned it, but it made more sense. You sat there semi-stunned, unsure if you wanted to continue further or not. "I see." You replied, looking back to your beverage. Your back relaxed a bit, signaling defeat, which in a way was. When your shoulders relaxed and you turned elsewhere, it seemed like Cloud snapped back to reality. "What about you? What's your story?" He asked, his tone was somewhat off, but it still gravitated you back to him. A small frown came across your face, was your mothers death really your story? Come to think of it, you felt like you didn't really have a story. "I don't think it's very different from others around here.." You ached as you spoke. Cloud noted this immediately, though he showed an indifference, it was far from it. He was listening to you.

"No one's story is the same." He disputed, it seemed like the logical response, which it was, but there was a glimmer of being taken into account by someone other than Tifa, which made you feel a bit odd. After a pause, you quickly gathered he was still waiting for a response, which made your blood rush to your cheeks once more. You swallowed again, a slight tingle overcame you, it was just nerves. "My father left my mom and me when I was ten?" Your eyebrows knit together as you tried to remember, some of the memories became blurry as the time continued. "My mother said he was going to become a mercenary, so either he got killed or really liked the job." You slowly shrugged at the discomfort of the idea. "It doesn't matter what was of him anyway. A few months later, we were attacked, my mother did everything she could to protect me, I was under the bed when this all happened. She stuffed me under there, but after she left the room, I climbed out through the window. If I had stayed under there, I would've been dead too, but maybe that wouldn't have been so bad." You continued to ramble, Cloud could tell how this affected you, he was all too familiar with the feeling of guilt, he knew what that face meant.

Hurriedly you took a sip from your drink again, all the way to the last drop. Cloud just stayed looking at you, not knowing how to respond or comfort you, there was a slight panic going on in his head, but you were too caught up in the memory. "I'm sorry." You smiled strangely as you set the glass down, trying to regulate your breathing.

Cloud hesitated, but he placed a hand over the back of your wrist as it laid against the table. Your jagged breathing came to a halt, just as he radiated calmness. When you eased, Cloud did as well. He wasn't very good with words, it didn't take long to notice that, but that little gesture seemed to alleviate more than any speech would. "Your mother didn't die in vain Y/N." You never imagined it like that, your eyes turned to Cloud, blurry and tainted pink around Y/E/C colored rings. There was a gentleness in his frown, his hand hadn't left your wrist, it may have been a small gesture, but you'd be lying if you said you weren't stinging for another persons touch. "Thank you Cloud." Was all you could muster out of your throat, you fiddled with your glass with your free hand, looking away from his face and back to the empty cup. This was his sign to remove his hand, which he did, promptly to your dismay. You were kind of hoping he'd stay like that for a while, but you two had just met, you were just desperate to be comforted and this wasn't fair to throw it on him.

You blinked away the evidence of your ache, swiping your tongue across your bottom lip and looked up when Tifa approached you both. "Are you guys friends yet?" She asked hopefully as her gaze shifted between both of you, her eyes lingered to you when she noticed your rosy cheeks and nose, knowing this was an indication of your sadness. It was hard to keep these things from Tifa, she was very good at picking up the smallest gestures, especially of those close to her and she proudly considered you as close.

Before you could say anything, to both you and Tifa's surprise Cloud broke the silence "I'd say so." A soft smile came upon your face as Tifa's eyebrows arched slightly in surprise. You surely hoped to become his friend.

[joon-ipersgirl]

O4 - “serendipity”

genre: strangers to lovers!au, angst, fluff

pairing: jimin x reader (f)

summary: they say home is where the heart is. you’re convinced yours was taken the day your father died. until you meet jimin. 

you believe in love but after watching men cycle through your mother’s arms, rocky relations with ex-boyfriends, and broken friendships, you no longer see it in your future. so much so, you never settle in one place long enough to create ties and call it home, choosing a job where you’re always on the go and on your own. 

on a chance encounter on a flight from new york city to bali, indonesia, you meet. flustered by jimin’s flirty advances but understanding and good-natured tendencies, you start to fall. what starts off as a work-trip soon blossoms into a budding romance, but will jimin’s secret destroy the relationship before it’s had the chance to truly begin?

word count: 5.5k

warnings: cursing, lots of fluff lol

a/n: part 4 wow! this is my favorite part i’ve written so far. it was a little difficult to edit but we made it. i hope you guys enjoy it. it might be a while before the next part is posted because i have to finish writing and i’ve had major writer’s block lmao, but i’ll try and update my updates page as often as i can. thank you guys for your comments and likes. as always, they are very much so appreciated. thank you to vi for listening to me rant about my stories. enjoy everyone!

full masterlist // series masterlist // previous // next

Jimin looked drained by the time his conversation was over. His hair was out of place from the numerous times he had run his fingers through it out of frustration. Even his eyes looked like they had lost their usual glimmer, instead clouded with anger and exasperation. Though you hadn’t known him for long - in fact,  you’re sure it had really only been 40 hours - you knew something was wrong from the downturn of his lips.

“Ready to go?” Jimin asked as he shoved his phone into his pocket.

“Is everything okay?” you asked as you stood and pocketed your own phone, your own happiness taking a backseat to check on him.

“Yeah, yeah.” He ran his fingers through his hair again and looked away from you. “Just some stuff back home.”

“Work stuff?” you suggested with a wry smile. He returned it.

“Yeah, work stuff,” he said with a laugh.

As you headed back in the direction of the hostel, your thoughts drifted back to Milo. Seeing his photo made your heart pound in your chest in the best and worst way possible. He still looked like your little brother, but you knew time had brought changes you weren’t around for. Though Adele said she had given him your number, it was quite possible that he wouldn’t want to speak to you, not after you left him at the worst possible time. It would be a miracle if you could fix what was broken. What you broke.

“Y/N?”

“Hmm?” You blinked up at Jimin.

“I asked if you were hungry?”

“Oh, yeah. Sure. Food sounds good right now,” you replied.

“Great, because I owe you a meal anyway,” he grinned.

“Oh, you mean for not finding me breakfast at 2:30 in the morning?” you teased. He rubbed the back of his head in embarrassment.

“Yeah, that,” he mumbled and slipped his hand in your as he tugged you through the streets of Hong Kong.

Jimin maneuvered through the bustling crowd with ease, their chatter filling the spaces between you. The evening was still as hot as the daytime and your hair started clinging to the side of your face. You knew there was a fine sheen of sweat present on your skin; you could feel it. You passed by numerous food places, but none of them were up to Jimin’s standard. All the while, his hand never left yours. You were actually starting to like it even if you didn’t want to admit it to yourself.

“Yeah, this looks like the spot,” Jimin commented as you stopped abruptly in front of the establishment.

Mingsu’s was a quaint little restaurant nestled between some larger chains. Four sets of plastic tables and chairs sat on the sidewalk under a clear awning. The smell of food wafted from the open front door and your stomach grumbled. Yeah, this was definitely the spot.

“Your seat m’lady.” Jimin pulled out your chair and you sat carefully in it; these were the kind that would lay you on your ass and not think twice about it.

“Why thank you, kind Sir.” You bowed your head as a lady would curtsy. He sat across from you looking like he really could be the son of a mighty Lord during the Anglo-Saxon time period come home from the hunt, his hair sticking to his forehead.

It didn’t take long for your waitress, a middle-aged woman who looked to be just as hot as you were, to come and take your order. You listened in awe again as Jimin translated your orders. To think that it would be just your luck to be stranded in a foreign country with a man who also happened to speak the native tongue. God really looked out for you here and you couldn’t be more indebted.

“So how exactly did you learn to speak Cantonese?” you asked, swirling your straw between the ice cubes in your glass full of water, the condensation sliding down the sides. Your curiosity had finally gotten the best of you.

“My dad, actually. He taught me Korean and Cantonese simultaneously,” he replied, sipping on his Coke. “It wasn’t that fun in the moment, but I guess it comes in handy every now and then.”

“Like when you’re stranded in a foreign country because your plane got fucked up?”

“More like when you want to impress a pretty girl.” He grinned as he rested his chin on his palm while he stared at you. You blushed under his gaze.

“I can only imagine how flirty Mr. Park senior is,” you said with a laugh.

“Actually, he’s not. All the traits of me you find quite insufferable -” he added air quotes around the word “- are from my mom. Dad always thought we were ganging up on him when I was a kid, but Mom and I just have the same sense of humor,” he said with a shrug.

“Your mom and you are closer then I assume?” You couldn’t fathom being close with Adele, not after all of her shit, but it was nice to hear that someone enjoyed their mother’s company.

“As close as you can be when she lives 4,242 miles away,” he chuckled. You gasped. Before you could continue your conversation, your waitress returned with your roasted pork buns, stir-fried beef and flat noodles, steamed sticky rice, and an array of side dishes. Your mouth watered at the sight and you and Jimin wasted no time tucking in.

“Wait, I thought you were a vegetarian?” you asked after swallowing. Jimin glanced up at you with a mouth full roasted pork bun like a deer in headlights.

“Not really. Well, I guess that isn’t correct. I do my part to reduce my meat intake when I’m at home, but when I’m traveling, I like to indulge a little in the local delicacies of the world,” he answered.

“And that doesn’t fuck your stomach up?” You grimaced at the thought.

“Why? Are you worried about me?”

“No, I’m worried about that cramped bathroom we have back at the hostel.” Jimin laughed. “Especially if you decide you need to -”

“I promise you Y/N, I’ll be okay. Trust me.” you continued to eye him warily as you chewed some noodles. You hoped he was right.

“Does your mom really live 4,000 miles from you?” Jimin nodded but told you to hold that thought as he called your waitress over. Throughout their brief conversation, you thought you heard the word ‘sake’ being mentioned and you panicked slightly at the thought of drinking with Jimin. You didn’t know how you would act. Hell, you weren’t sure how he would act if drunk words were sober thoughts.

“To answer your question, yes. She does. She lives in the United Kingdom. Has done for the past 11 years. We text a lot and talk on the phone whenever the time difference permits.”

“Wow, your parents must love it there!” you exclaimed, picturing the London Eye, the double-decker red buses, and Buckingham Palace. London had been on my list of places to travel for a long time, but it had never worked out.

“Mom does, Dad didn’t. He’s back home now, home being Korea. No, they aren’t divorced or separated,” Jimin said, answering your unasked question after noticing your wide eyes. “They have a long-distance relationship and fly out to see one another every couple of weeks.”

“Sounds expensive,” you muttered.

Jimin graciously accepted the teapot and two porcelain white cups your waitress brought over, somehow finding space for them in between the various plates. He poured you a full cup and pushed it in front of you, waiting for me to accept his challenge as he raised his own glass, his usual mischievous glimmer back in his eyes. You carefully picked it up and watched the wispy tendrils of steam evaporate in the air.

“Sip, don’t toss it back,” Jimin guided you. “A toast! To friendship. And to love,” he tacked on playfully. You smiled as you clinked glasses and sipped the clear rice wine. Though it looked like water, it definitely didn’t taste like it.

“And it is expensive,” Jimin continued. “But they do it because they love each other.  I guess you could call it an unconventional marriage. They realized they work a lot better apart than being in the same space. They tried to do it the traditional way, Dad convincing Mom to move back to Korea with him while she was pregnant with me and the two of them getting married. She did it for a while too until she just physically couldn’t. She loved my Dad, but she loved herself enough to be honest with him when things weren’t working and they figured it out together. Now, they’re extremely happy,” he ended with a laugh and finished the remainder of his drink.

“So you were born in Korea?”

“Yes.”

“But you live in the United States?”

“Is that so hard to believe?” he asked with a raised eyebrow.

“No, I just -”

“Is it because I don’t speak in accented English?”

“No!” you cried out in embarrassment. “That’s not what I meant at all!” Jimin’s unrestrained laugh rang out and it was only then that you realized he was teasing. Again. You tossed back the rest of my drink, unsure of whether your face was burning because of the alcohol or him.

“Relax, Shutterfly. I’m not offended. Dad took me to the U.S. after Mom moved back to the U.K. I lost my accent when I got to high school because you know, teenagers suck and they like to bully you when you’re different.” You nodded in complete understanding. The harsh whispers of girls older than you and with the memories of them shoving you onto the ground because you were smaller and looked like you were easy to pick on trickled down from the deep recesses of your mind. “Enough about me though,” Jimin said as he refilled your cup, “How about you? What’s your family like?”

You paused as he waited for you to answer. You toyed with how much you would say to him, how much he really deserved to know. Jimin could afford to be open with you; his family sounded normal, cool even. Your family was a little bit more fucked up than his. you sighed and pushed your fingers through your hair.

“You know, the usual. Dad’s dead, mom’s a bitch, brother hates me,” you replied, your words blending into one another as you waved off the subject with a hand. Jimin stared at you evenly as he processed what you had just said. He cleared his throat before asking if you wanted to elaborate.

“Not really, but it’s okay,” you answered.

“No, Y/N,” he placed his hand on top of mine. “If you really don’t want to talk about it, we don’t have to.”

“Seriously, it’s cool. It’ll probably do me a lot of good to finally let it all out,” you said with a sigh. “My parents’ love story isn’t like yours. I mean, it kind of started off the same, but it definitely didn’t end that way.” Jimin nodded as he chewed in silence. Your own plate was now left untouched.

“So my dad named me. I was his little girl, his princess. He wasn’t from the best side of town and often got into it with a lot of the local gang members. He saw a lot of shitty stuff and so he left as soon as he turned 18. He landed in California and that’s where he met Adele. Her family had just moved there and she decided to be rebellious and hook up with my dad, acting out because she didn’t want to leave her old life behind. She ended up pregnant with me 2 years later at 18 after they ‘fell in love’,” you said, adding the air quotes around the phrase.

“Being the honorable man that he was, he decided to marry my mother and moved her to New York where he thought he could take better care of her. More job opportunities as and what not. Two years later, my brother came along and things were going pretty good, except when Adele started demanding more and more shit. Dad tried to provide, working longer hours, but it was never enough. Eventually, it was too much. He died of a heart attack when I was in high school. I was sixteen,” you finished. You didn’t look at Jimin as you drained your sake.

“Thank you for sharing that with me even though you didn’t really want to. I appreciate it,” he said solemnly. “Do you mind if I ask you a question?”

“No, it’s fine. Only fair.”

“I don’t think fair is in this equation,” he chuckled and you laughed along with him. “Why do you think your brother hates you?” he asked after a beat.

“Because I left him,” you responded. “I left him alone and ran away from all my problems as soon as I turned 18.” Regret bubbled in your chest as you remembered purposefully ignoring the wave of text messages he sent you and carried on with your new life, focusing on your new man.

“I don’t think he hates you, Y/N.” you laughed bitterly. “Where’d you run away to?”

“California.”

“You sound a lot like your dad,” he replied with a smile. “Viva la revolución right?”

You groaned and covered your face in your hands. “Please don’t tell me you speak Spanish too.” you muttered a string of curses in the language before clamping your hands over your mouth in case he could hear and understand you.

“I don’t, but I see you do. You never told me you could speak Spanish,” he commented as he sipped more sake.

“You never asked,” you teased, your smile humorous as you stared at him from over your own cup.

Jimin’s cheeks had a pretty pink hue from the alcohol. In addition, the alcohol seemed to amplify the gleam in his eyes further as he teased you throughout your conversation. Under the low lighting of Mingsu’s, his skin glowed, a thin sheen of sweat present that you found oddly attractive on him. You closed your eyes gently as you willed the troublesome thoughts away. This was not the time nor the place for them to pop up, not with more than a few ounces of sake under your belt.

You finished the rest of your food, Jimin eating much more than you, and chatted more. You found out he was a freelance museum curator that was under contract for a few different small museums in New York City. A huge downplay on his part, but it explained how he knew so much about art and had all these artsy friends. He was well-educated with a Masters in Fine Arts, a concentration in Art History, and you felt intimidated as you’d barely managed to scrape together an Associates degree.

“Hey look!” Jimin turned his phone screen to you after it chimed. “Looks like we really are leaving tomorrow. Joy even got us seats next to each other like she promised,” he said.

“Of course she did,” you mumbled, remembering Joy’s enthusiasm over Jimin.

“What was that?” he asked as he cupped his ear with his hand.

“I said ‘Yay! Joy managed to get us to sit together. How fantastic. Now we can sit together again’,” you lied with fake zeal.

“Hmm. That’s what I thought you said. Though for a minute there I thought you were jealous of the attention I was getting from other women.” You could tell the nonchalance in his voice was just as fake as the enthusiasm in your own.

“Me? Jealous over you?” You snorted at the thought. Jimin held his chest, his face falling in a look of fake disappointment.

“Damn Y/N, all you had to do was say you didn’t like me -”

“I never said that!”

“Ah, so you do like me then?” He wiggled his eyebrows as he leaned across the table.

“I never said that either!” you giggled and pointed your finger at him. He pretended to bite it and you pulled it away squealing. Jimin laughed at your reaction as the waitress came over. He pulled out his wallet and you scrambled to take out your own until you realized you’d left your own wallet back at the hostel. You blanched.

“Jimin I can’t let you pay for all this!” The mountain of empty plates a reminder of just how much you had eaten.

“Of course you can,” he said as he handed over his card. You scrambled for something to say, to make him return his card, but it was already too late. You shook your head furiously.

“I can pay you back, seriously. This was a lot of food. And then the drinks!” you squeaked. Alcohol was expensive and you had consumed two full teapots of sake. “Please, Jimin,” you begged.

He held his ground as he signed the check and the waitress began removing the dirty dishes. “Absolutely not, Shutterfly. I still owe you an actual breakfast and think of this as me showing you what it’s like to be wined and dined. Mr. Park senior taught me never to let a woman pay for a meal, and I won’t start now, especially not with you.” He stood up and came to stand in front of you, holding his hands out as if he knew you could potentially wobble from the alcohol flowing through your system. “Let someone take care of you for once, yeah? Let me take care of you.”

You stared up at him, surprised at his words. It had been a long time since you’d heard anything like that. It had been a long time since you had let anyone come close to caring for you, determined that you would do it for yourself. Jimin was truly worming his way under your skin and you didn’t like it. You closed your eyes at the thought of Jimin really being there for you and it shook you to your core. Letting out a shaky breath, you placed your hands gently in his as he helped you to your feet, accepting his offer. On one condition.

“Only for tonight,” you whispered into his chest, not daring to look up into his deep brown eyes, but he forced you to as he dragged his lips tenderly against the back of your knuckles.

“Okay,” he agreed. His eyes never left yours and you started to squirm under his intense gaze. He pulled you into his side, tucking you under his arm. “Come on, I want to show you something,” he whispered into your hair as if the words were a secret only meant for the two of you. A shiver ran down your spine as his lips brushed against your temple though you were hotter than before from the alcohol in the humid night.

Jimin took you down the streets of Tsim Sha Tsui, pressing you close to him as you walked along leisurely. Little street vendors lined the sidewalk selling sweet treats that made you wish you hadn’t eaten as much so you could try one. You inhaled the scent and tried to commit the smell to memory, wanting to always remember how untroubled you felt though so many things had gone wrong, wanting to really remember how many things had gone.

“We’re here,” Jimin said excitedly and removed his arm from around your shoulder, settling for just holding your hand. You immediately missed the warmth of being against his side.

Here was a hole-in-the-wall restaurant and lounge called Switch!. Its outer brick walls contrasted with the smooth window panes of the establishments next to it. A heavy wooden door rattled as the thumping bass echoed off it. There were a few stragglers standing outside smoking cigarettes as they laughed and joked with one another. Jimin turned to you and grinned, excitement etched across his features.

“Jimin,” you said with uncertainty. “It’s getting kind of late,” you trailed off.

“It’s only a little after ten, Y/N. Come on. This place is really cool,” he insisted. You chewed your lip, not sure whether you could make it a minute longer. Between the alcohol in your bloodstream and the cigarette smoke starting to swirl in your lungs, you were feeling a little out of your element. “Please, Shutterfly,” he pouted. “I promise to have you back home by midnight and before your carriage turns back into a pumpkin.” You rolled your eyes but remembered Michael’s words about enjoying the moment.

“Fine,” you huffed and pulled open the hefty door. Jimin followed closely after.

Switch! resembled your favorite grunge dive bar. It was extremely dark, the only source of lighting being a few strips of LED lights lining the floor and ceilings, and some weak yellow light bulbs. The bar itself was long and made with beautiful redwood that somehow managed to shine in the dim lighting. An extensive alcohol collection sat on the numerous shelves behind the bar. Next to it was a corkboard that was nearly filled with little polaroid pictures of previous patrons. A live band was the source of the thumping bass you had heard outside and you let it wash over me, vibrating the very core of your bones. It seemed like Jimin had a knack for choosing great places.

The two of you headed over to sit in one of the small booths, a waiter appearing immediately to take your order. Jimin asked for two sake bombs to start you off, something about keeping the trend of the night, and leaned forward to rest his elbows on the rickety wooden table. You watched him start to lose himself in the music as he kept time with the beat, his head swaying slowly. His posture exaggerated the broad expanse of his back and you stewed silently behind him, almost cursing his parents for creating a man as attractive as this. You crossed your legs at the knee.

Your waiter returned with your drinks and Jimin yelled a thank you over the loud music. Internally, you were grateful that it was too loud for you to continue your conversation as you were sure Jimin would continue his fervent flirting and you weren’t sure how much more you could take. Not after accepting his offer of letting him take care of you for the night. You took a large sip of the alcoholic mixture. Jimin leaned back and turned his head to you, his hand resting on your bare thigh.

“Do you like it? Are you having fun?” he asked loudly. You winced as his voice pierced through your eardrum.

“Yeah! This is cool. The band is really good!” you yelled back and he grinned, his smile a little lopsided no doubt from the alcohol. His eyes continued to sparkle as he stared down at you. With his hand on your thigh and his face seeming to move closer, all the air felt like it was sucked out of the room. Your heart pounded in your chest as his eyes drifted down to your lips -

“Excuse me?!” Your head snapped around to the individual yelling at you just as Jimin had closed the distance between you, his lips brushing the corner of yours. You could feel his lips stretch into a smile against your cheek as his nose pressed into your skin. You were quite positive he could feel the burn radiating off your cheeks. “Would you guys like to take a picture for our polaroid wall?” the man yelled again. In his hands was a teal polaroid camera.

“Is it free?” you yelled and tried to create some distance between you and Jimin. The photographer laughed and nodded his head.

“Can we get a copy of them to keep?” Jimin asked.

“Sure! I can take a few extra for you guys,” he replied with a shrug. “You guys ready?” Jimin nodded and slipped his arm around your waist, his hand resting on your hip with the other still resting on your knee. He smushed your faces together as the first picture was taken. The photographer took an additional three more after determining your smile wasn’t wide enough in the first one.

“I’ll leave these with you to develop. When you choose the one you guys want us to hang up, just drop it off at the bar. Thanks again!” He disappeared as quickly as he had arrived.

“I’m going to go use the bathroom!” You didn’t wait for Jimin to respond as you eased your way out of the booth and scurried off.

Locking yourself into the single-stall restroom, you tried to catch your breath. You and Jimin had nearly kissed. It wasn’t something you’d dreamed about in an alcohol-induced haze. He had really leaned in like he wanted to kiss you. You pressed your hands to your face to stop the smile from bursting across your cheeks. You covered your face with your hands as you recognized the familiar tick in your chest. A crush. You giggled to yourself as you pushed your hands through your hair. You had a fucking crush on Park Jimin and you were a teensy bit okay with it. A knock at the door burst your bubble of revelation and you quickly washed your hands, apologizing to the other woman as you slipped by her.

“So I think we should give this one to them,” Jimin suggested, pushing the four photos over to you as you sat beside him again. He was pointing to the second one of you where we were both grinning like mad men as he had pressed his face against your own. “The other ones are too cute.”

He was right. The third was Jimin kissing your cheek and you covering your mouth in shock at his actions. The final one was him smiling into your cheek, caressing the other side as he pulled you against him and you smiled with your eyes closed and rested your hand against his arm. This one was your favorite.

“Yeah, you’re right. These came out a lot better than I thought they would,” you said, the bar much quieter as another band got prepared for their set.

“Why wouldn’t they turn out great?” he asked confused.

“You know, the lighting and stuff. Plus my hair and we’ve been drinking so I know my face is all -”

“Stop. You look amazing. Look!” Jimin held the pictures up for you though you were already looking at them; it seemed he was a little more drunk than you were. “Absolutely beautiful,” he added. You smiled softly at him as he placed your favorites into his wallet. “Okay, I’m going to go give them this one. Do you want another drink?” You shook my head no, still nursing your first, and watched him meander his way through the crowd gathered to hear the band. They started up a moment later, a smooth rhythm of R’n’B playing out through the speakers. The beat was infectious and you closed your eyes, dancing in your seat. It felt good to not be concerned with anything, though work still plagued the back of your mind.

“I didn’t know you could dance!” Jimin yelled over the music. You hadn’t noticed his return and his voice startled you.

“I don’t dance!” You said with a laugh.

“But you just were!”

“I really wouldn’t call that dancing, Jimin.”

“Well, show me what is then.” He held his hand out to you. More people had started to dance as well, the change in the atmosphere quite apparent. “Don’t you want to see what dance moves we have stored in the Park family?” You laughed and nearly fell out of the booth trying to imagine Mr. Park senior getting down at the family parties. You were quite intrigued.

“Okay, okay. Let’s go.”

You grabbed his hand after taking another generous mouthful of beer and led him onto the makeshift dance floor. Jimin spun you around to face him and guided your hands around his neck while his hands rested on your lower back, the two of you swaying in time to the song. It was gentle and sweet and you hid your face in his chest as he spun you around. Jimin looked happy as you danced hand in hand, laughing when you stumbled from being inebriated. You hoped that his phone call was as far back in his mind as you physically were from the United States.

You danced for God knows how long until your feet started to hurt and the two of you were almost wet with sweat, lost in the music and the soft touches of one another. Jimin made good on his promise and had you back at the hostel before midnight. If anyone had been downstairs, you would have looked like any lovesick teenagers sneaking home in the dead of night. You were grateful that William and Sonia hadn’t decided to wait up for you as you giggled your way to your room, you hushing Jimin as he unlocked your door.

“Thank you for taking me there, Jimin. I had a really good time tonight,” you said as you kicked off your sneakers and grabbed your sleep shirt and toothbrush.

“It was no trouble at all. I’m glad you enjoyed yourself. I had a really good time too,” he replied as he tugged his shirt over his head. Your eyes widened as you took in his smooth torso, the sprinkle of hair starting at his belly button and disappearing into his shorts that he was currently removing -

“Okay! I’m gonna go wait outside while you change! Let me know when you’re done,” you squeaked out and winced at the force at which you closed the door. You could hear Jimin chuckle from the other side. It was becoming quite tiring being flustered around him.

After receiving the all-clear from Jimin to re-enter, you slipped into the bathroom to change and brush your teeth. It was stupid at how happy you were to see your toothbrushes sitting next to each other in the little holder. Tugging the shirt down as far as it would go over your hips, you poked your head around the door to see Jimin already under the covers, one hand holding his book and the other tucked behind his head. So much for getting into bed without being seen. You folded your shorts and shirt, placing them on top of your backpack as you mentally prepared to face Jimin.

“I hope you don’t mind me not taking a shower. I didn’t think it was a good idea with the amount that I had to drink and I definitely don’t think you’re strong enough to pull me out of the shower if I fell,” he said, still not looking at you.

“Hey! I could probably manage!” you yelled, slightly offended that he thought you were weak.

“A naked me? Y/N, you can barely look at me with clothes on,” he snorted and set his book down on the nightstand and looked at you. You blushed as your eyes fell on the gold chain around his neck; he had decided not to wear a shirt to bed tonight. You watched him take in your figure, his eyes roaming over on your bare thighs for a few seconds longer than necessary. “But, if you think you can, I can go -” he started pulling the covers back but you cut him off.

“Nope!” you yelled and held your arms out as if you could magically force him not to move. “It’s fine, really. We can just go to sleep. Wouldn’t want you to get concussed or anything before our flight,” you mumbled. Double-checking the door was locked, you flicked off the light. You stubbed your toe just as you were about to climb in and Jimin laughed.

“Not as fun when it happens to you, right?” You punched his shoulder as you settled under the covers facing away from him, pretending to be mad. “Ah Y/N, come on.” Jimin shifted so he was cuddled up behind you, his hand thrown over your waist. “You’re not really mad at me, are you Shutterfly?” He pressed a chaste kiss to the back of your neck and you shivered. You could feel his grin against your skin again. Truly the bane of your existence.

“No, I’m not mad at you,” you mumbled.

“Good,” he replied and gave you a squeeze. “Thank you for telling me part of your story, for trusting me with that. Thank you for also letting me take care of you tonight. I hope you let me do it again,” he said as he pulled you closer against him and you sighed.

“Goodnight, Y/N.” He punctuated his sentence with a kiss against your cheek, his lips lingering once again.

“Goodnight, Jimin,” you whispered back as he buried his face into your shoulder.

That night, you dreamed of museums, Mingsu’s, and live music.

full masterlist // series masterlist // previous // next

ⓒ joon-ipersgirl, 2020

[lightninginabottle0613]

50 questions ⚖️

a scale for libra season - you knew i would!!

thank you to all of these angels for tagging me & giving me a chance to learn more about your precious selves - @yanak324 @watersandwolves @kelleesioverhere @livhatesolives @thelandofnothing

what is the color of your hairbrush? black! with some silver on the handle. 

name a food you never eat? sushi. i don’t dislike it, but it’s just far enough down on my favorites list that i never choose it over something else.

are you typically too warm or too cold? almost always too cold, but that’s exactly how i like it.

what were you doing 45 minutes ago? talking to my brother. he is at sea and bought internet for the day :’)

what’s your favorite candy bar? i don’t think i have a favorite tbh. i like most candy well enough. not really a candy person, though!

have you ever been to a professional sports game? i have been to many major league baseball games, & two minor league soccer games.

what is the last thing you said out loud? “love you, too” 💘

what is your favourite ice cream? ben & jerry’s mint chocolate cookie

what was the last thing you had to drink? lemon la croix in a stemless wine glass, bc nothingggg matterrrssss 

do you like your wallet? i actually don’t, lol. it’s a little dark green designer thing that i splurged on last year, bc i thought adults needed fancy wallets. & it’s very off brand for me. i also broke the inside zipper one hour after purchasing it, when i ripped the tag off bc i was too lazy to get scissors. so that makes me hate it even more.

what is the last thing you ate? omg. loaded sweet potato fries. with cheese & fake bacon & ranch.

did you buy any new clothes last weekend? i did! just one shirt at target. a lil striped guy. as if i needed any more of those.

what’s the last sporting event you watched? the eagles/bengals game last sunday. i didn’t put it on, like ... on purpose. i was hanging out with two straight men who insisted, bc i’m from philadelphia. it was sweet of them i guess

what is your favorite flavor of popcorn? anything cheeeeesy. or just regular. but fuck a caramel corn (sorry)

who is the last person you sent a text message to? one of the aforementioned straight men

ever go camping? yes!!!!!!! camping is so cute. very into it

do you take vitamins? i am actually all out of my multivitamin, so this question has reminded me to add it to my shopping list for tomorrow.

do you regularly attend a place of worship? (don’t make a target joke, don’t make a target joke)

do you have a tan? haha

do you prefer chinese or pizza? my east coast roots all but require me to say pizza. i do love a good sesame NOODLE though

do you drink your soda through a straw? no ma’am

what color socks do you usually wear? i’ve got all sorts of colors!! right now they are white with black polka dots. team fun socks

do you ever drive above the speed limit? i mean yeah, of course. i am a self- and others-proclaimed Great Driver, though. so i will drive above the speed limit a responsible and excusable amount.

what terrifies you? birds. everyone thinks it’s a joke until they see me encounter a bird. (no, not sparrows/robins/little tiny birds that fly away when you approach them. obviously not those. they’re doing amazing.) 

look to your left, what do you see? couch cushion! i have been on the couch for five hours. 

what chore do you hate most? oh like, probably cleaning the litter box lol. that shit sucks

what do you think of when you hear an Australian accent? steve irwin (and the fact that my mom cried when he died)

what’s your favorite soda pop? diet coke, because i am ✨garbage✨

do you go in a fast food place or just hit the drive thru? drive thru!! the drive thru experience is one of my favorite things. i love cradling my lil head in my hand while i talk to the person over the intercom. pretty much flirt with every drive thru attendant i ever come across. they’re so cute. shout out to grace at my local starbucks

what’s your favorite number? another day passes where i don’t have a favorite number

who’s the last person you talked to? out loud, my brother. over text, i am talking to three (3) very cute people! one of them is yana, hey bb

favorite cut of beef? the fake kind!

last song you listened to? whistle while you work. i’m watching snow white

last book you read? lol guys, i’m a disgrace. i haven’t read a book in so long. i just don’t have the energy. all i do anymore is attend zoom meetings, cry about the news, and journal about the moon

favorite day of the week? what is a “day” of the “week”

can you say the alphabet backwards? i just attempted it. i can, but very slowly.

how do you like your coffee? iced 😇 with a splash of oat milk. but i just bought a french vanilla coconut milk creamer today. so i’m really branching out.

favorite pair of shoes? i love my white birkenstocks more than anything, but i hate exposing my feet. so probably my dad sneakers.

time you normally get up? arounnnnnd 5:00 a.m.

what do you prefer, sunrise or sunsets? sunrises these days! usually far too dissociated to enjoy a sunset anymore lolllll i’m fine

how many blankets on your bed? just my main comforter, and my lil pink baby blanket that i still sleep with (balled up under my head)

describe your kitchen plates? they are pink & they are the same as yana’s

describe your kitchen at the moment? clean! except one dish in the sink. but clean, always

do you have a favorite alcoholic drink? i love a light beer! and learning to appreciate a red wine. nothing fancy.

do you play cards? almost never. i cannot stand games

what color is your car? my last three cars have accidentally been blue. the one i got in march (the first one i bought myself!!) is “cosmic blue” :’)

can you change a tire? no!! someone teach me though, i want to learn

your favorite state? pennsylvania, for better or for worse. 

favorite job you’ve had? 2018 me would be dying at current me even thinking of admitting this, but the one i have right now! it has taught me more than any job i’ve ever had, and introduced me to some of my favorite people, and treated me incredibly well during a time when so many have lost everything. cannot complain even slightly (although i most definitely do, and will continue to)

tagging: everyone that i would’ve tagged has already done this lol damn it guys!! @beautifulinsanesanity have you done this? idk. if you’ve made it this far & haven’t done it yet, then please consider yourself tagged.

-

🛑 IF YOU LIVE IN AMERICA - HI! ONE MONTH UNTIL ELECTION DAY! are you registered to vote (if you’re of age)? are you aware of how fucked we are if we don’t mobilize to get this ogre out of office? vote early if you can. vote in person if you can. volunteer to be a poll worker if you can. just ... literally please lol. i’m so tired.

love u.

[marshmallowprotection]

Since today was a bad day I’d like to apolize to bora in advanced....

Out of all the outcomes, it had to turn out like this? Its like whenever i finally start to feel happy, it always gets ripped away from me.But life isn’t fair, especially to runaways. I guess that’s why i opened the door to a strangers apartment. I remember the hunger pains I felt that day, I ember how cold it was sleeping outside. God that feels like ages ago, its hard to believe that I’ve only been with you all for only a few months. I Romberg meeting all of you for the first time, I was terrified but you all tried to make me feel the most comfortable I could be. I still Romberg that special knock seven used to let me know it was him and not some random stranger. I also remover that little lie he told me when I said I didn’t want anything to eat or drink,” I have a gift card that’s about to expire,” that never fails to bring a smile to my face. On the ride to the penthouse, seven told me to give jumin a chance, that he isn’t some cold, heartless Man. He just doesn’t know how to express his emotions.

Jaehee, god she was a life saver when i got my first period, I couldn’t thank her enough after she calmed me down and made me realize that I wasn’t dying. I was so embarrassed, but she assured me that it is natural and it is nothing to be ashamed about. She was the older sister I never had, taking me to get bras that actually fit, teaching me how to brew coffee, giving me girl adddvice, thank you so much for that. You are so amazing and I love helping you at your cafe.

Yoosung, I can’t believe how close we’ve gotten, you’re so fun and easy to chat with. You always help me take my mind off of my bad dreams by playing LOLOL together, well its more you playing the game and me pressing random buttons. And all the times you have helped me with homework questions, but i guess that’s a benefit of online school. You might get teased by everyone but you’re amazing, and kind, and I cherish our moments together.

Zen, you took on the role of an older brother the second you found out my age, and that I’m a runaway, but I guess it’s cause you’re one too. I can’t tell you how much I appreciate that. You reminded me so much of my older brother, but you and him are different people with different amazing qualities. You made me feel so safe, and I always had so much fun whenever you took me to rehearsal. I still smile and laugh when the lighting caption took me to their booth during lunch, while you were still practicing and let me use the spotlight, and I kept moving it around and you had to follow. That was so much fun. You were the first person who gave me a real hug in years, and I accepted it, it felt so good to be hugged with so much genuine care and affection that I cried in your arms. I know that you don’t always get along with jumin, but seeing you both try to get along for my sake warms my heart.

Seven, you were the first one I met. That first night I was at the apartment I know it was you who sent laundry detergent, shampoo, conditioner, food, tooth paste, a toothbrush, and other supplies I needed but didn’t have. You just didn’t want to take the credit. You were the first person in a long time to give me those supplies without a hidden motive. I can’t thank you enough for everything you’ve done for me, you arranged for me to stay with jumin until you all found a suitable home for me to live in(although that didn’t happen lol) you work tirelessly and put other before yourself, even though you love teasing yoosung everyone knows that you love him, not only him but everyone in the rfa. All those jokes and memes you send in the group chat are always hilarious, and all those times you broke into the penthouse at night to “play with Elly “ when it just by coincidence that i had a nightmare. We would always end up laughing so hard it hurts. You helped me in so many ways that I cant even name them all, thank you for always helping me.

Jumin, it has been a few months since you took me in, and those few months have made me the happiest I have ever been, without you and the rfa I dont know what would have happened to me, You took me, a runaway teenager, who you didn’t know, who was so reserved and barley talked, and you helped her. You turned me into the person I am today, and the person I am today is happy. You stood by me during the whole Glam and Sarah situation, and you didn’t even know me too well but you still protected me. You are always there for me during my nightmares. You even took me to see multiple types of doctors to make sure I was getting healthy, and to find out what steps to take to get me there, from setting reminders on my phone to eat, to getting me a weighted blanket so I could finally sleep through the night. You took on the parental role for a down on her luck runaway, and gave her a chance. I can’t ever thank you enough for that. I love you dad.

Sometimes I wonder what was going on in everyone’s heads when I popped up, but I just need everyone to know that I love them, so so much. Not many people can say that they got a second shot at having a family, but i did, and I love my family. You all showed me something I hadn’t felt since my brother died, love, affection, and a sense of belonging. Please, none of you blame yourselves for what happened to me.

Love, Bora Han.”

Hot tears streamed down Jumin face as he read Bora’s letter, the smell of disinfectant permeated the hospital room. The letter in one hand as the other gripped his unconscious daughters hand. The only comfort he found was the beeping of the heart monitor, telling him that his daughter is still alive. After four hours of emergency surgery on her shoulder from the gunshot wound, and countless stitches on her left leg from where unknown threw her onto the broken glass covered floor. He needed to make a getaway, what’s a better distraction that shooting a child in their shoulder then throwing them practically across a room. She must have written the letters once we got news of the bomb in the apartment being controlled by unknown. It zen got her to a hospital just in time he is sitting on the chair across the room, asleep with dried blood on his shirt. He isn’t even supposed to be here, but all it took for the nurse to let it slide was some flirting, from his part. And I handed her more than enough money to convince her. All that matters is that my daughter is alive.

It was hours before I felt something squeeze my hand. My eyes meet a pair of purple eyes that look so insanely tired, they were already welling up in tears as zen rushes to grab a nurse and water.

“ hey duckling, I’m right here, I’m not going anywhere,”

“ i-“ she starts to cough, which makes her groan in pain, the meds must be wearing off. A nurse runs in to check up on bora as zen holds up a cur of water and brings it to boras lips. She must be so thirsty, and she looks so scared, she hates hospitals but right now her safety it top priority.

“ I’m so sorry dad” she says crying. Stroking her hair I try calming her as much as I can without her being in more pain.

“Duckling, you have absolutely nothing to be sorry about, you were so strong, and you still are so strong. I promise I wont leave you alone here.” I say calmly, making her calm down a bit.

“ me too kiddo, I’m not leaving you here too,” zen says as bora looks at his shirt.

Crying a bit bora turn to zen,”I’m really sorry about your shirt,” which makes everyone laugh a bit.

“ I can buy many shirts, but there is only one of you,” he says playfully tapping Bora on the nose.

Seeing bora struggle to keep her eyes open, we both turn off the lamps.

“Get some shut eye kid, we will be here the whole night, and when you wake up, we will still be here,” zen says stretching out on the couch, as I lie on the reclining chair. I’m kind of glad that the lights are off, its so hard to see bora in a cast, she just looks so small in that big hospital bed, but she is safe, and alive. We can get through this, I’ll be there every step of the way.

While I don’t think that Unknown would do that, nor would write something of that dark regard in this universe, I can tell that it was very cathartic for you to be able to write this out. So, if this helped you coped with your pain in any way, that is good. I appreciate that you shared your perspective on Bora’s thoughts and her feelings over her time spent with the RFA. 

She’s so very appreciative of all of them. They’re her family. She can’t imagine life without them. 

[beckzorz]

Out of Nowhere (2/21)

Pairing: Bucky Barnes/OFC Summary: An offhand comment at work draws Jesse Kaplan into the orbit of Bucky Barnes. Bucky’s excited at the prospect of normalcy, but there’s nothing normal about falling in love with the Winter Soldier. Words: 3577 A/N: HELLO FROM PART 2!!! Enter Bucky! :D And enter some unconventional formatting... A lot of this is drawn from my personal experiences, and a lot of my personal experiences involve texting my friends about what’s going on a hundred times a day XD (Sorry @kentuckybarnes​!) The song for this chapter is “Solitude” by Duke Ellington from In a Sentimental Mood. Hope you enjoy :3

PART 2: “SOLITUDE”

     Today, 6:38 PM

itsadrian: ahhh you look great!!!!! jesse.kaplan: Thanks :3333 jesse.kaplan: I’d feel better about this if I had a cocktail dress newer than the 1950s itsadrian: lol itsadrian: that’s what you get for only buying vintage clothes jesse.kaplan: My jeans are brand new Adrian… it’s my soul that’s the Real Old™ around here jesse.kaplan: don’t judge itsadrian: can’t help it itsadrian: at least it’s a nice one tho! the 50s are back in itsadrian: and black is classic itsadrian: i think if you went in a dress from the 40s you’d raise some Actual Old But Also Young™ eyebrows itsadrian: 50s seem pretty safe in comparison jesse.kaplan: don’t judge… but I had that same thought process haha itsadrian: SMART itsadrian: that’s why i keep you around :P jesse.kaplan: Well thank god otherwise I’d be having a panic attack on the metro which is never a great look jesse.kaplan: my roommate said it looked ok but I trust you more haha jesse.kaplan: oh geez here we go ttyl!! itsadrian: take a selfie with pepper potts!!!! byeeee

—

Jesse stuffed her phone in her clutch and adjusted its long strap across her body as she ran up the stairs to street level. The benefit was at a fancy hotel in Midtown, a block and a half from the subway. She was grateful she hadn’t given in to the urge to wear her fanciest shoes; her low black heels weren’t debilitating. Not yet, anyway. Hopefully there wouldn’t be too much standing in place.

She hummed jazz to herself as she walked briskly along, not meeting anyone’s gaze. Was it obvious where she was going, dressed up as she was? The benefit wasn’t hugely publicized, or at least she hoped it wasn’t. Sure, there might be a few supers there, but not the whole Avengers squad.

As soon as she rounded the corner, she sighed in relief. Though guests trickled in, the photographers corded off from the entry ignored them. No doubt they were waiting for the famous people.

Jesse hurried to the door, fished out the invite on her phone, and flashed it to the security guard as she went in. She heard sudden calls from the street, but the doors closed before she could see who was arriving.

Inside was cool, fancy—art deco carpeting, gilded columns, a gleaming reception desk. The odd tourist gawked; Jesse ignored them as best she could as she followed the directions of the smiling tuxedoed butler to the ballroom. She steeled herself and went inside.

Alright, so the room was gorgeous. A snazzy bar hugged the left wall, not far from the door, and a small raised stage complete with a Stark Foundation podium was on the far wall. Numbered tables set for ten took up much of the room, but there was a small area for schmoozing by the bar. Jesse brightened when she spotted the quartet just about to play—and a dance floor! Maybe they’d play some jazz, or swing…

Jesse deflated. She didn’t know anyone here.

“Excuse me,” someone said behind her, and Jesse apologized and made her way over to the bar, a vague smile fixed on her face. All she got was a water; no way was she drinking alcohol when she had to talk to strangers. She stood a few steps away from the bar, watching the few couples swaying to the music with a critical eye.

“Jesse?”

Jesse jumped and turned. A fellow dancer! Someone loved her tonight. “Mike! What are you doing here?”

“My company is getting a nod,” Mike said, grinning back down at her. He was pale and very tall—well over six feet—and wonderfully dressed, considering she’d only ever seen him in t-shirt and jeans. “You?”

“My colleague’s in the hospital, so I’m a last-minute replacement. She’ll recover,” Jesse added when Mike’s face screwed up. “If you’re here, I’m not sorry to have to replace her anymore though! How are you?”

“Pretty good, you?”

“Same old. Tired, but what else is new. Anyway, this isn’t exactly perfect music, but wanna dance?”

“Of course,” Mike answered.

Jesse chugged her water and left her empty cup and clutch at her table before hurrying back to Mike as a new song was starting. It had a better beat than the first song, and they snagged a spot near the band.

As soon as they starting pulsing to the music, Jesse’s lingering anxiety completely melted away. There was something magical about dancing with a good lead. Nothing else seemed to matter, and it was so easy to close your eyes and let yourself be led. And Mike was a very good lead.

Once they started doing more complex moves, where Mike was alternatively at arm’s length and swinging her around him, Jesse opened her eyes to avoid collisions. The song was good, predictable—they both hit a break in the music and grinned at each other.

Then Jesse recognized a face in the little crowd that was gathering around to watch them, and she couldn’t help but stare.

Sergeant Barnes.

His expression was severe, intense; his hair was pulled back tightly. Combined with a high forehead and his sharp suit, he looked two steps shy of terrifying. After a moment, he met her gaze. Jesse forced a smile and looked away, heat rising to her cheeks. She kept her eyes on Mike, only daring to look as far up as the onlookers’ collars when she wasn’t facing her friend.

The music was fun, her dancing was good, so why did the guy who had been so impressed by her work look so displeased with her now? Why couldn’t he smile like everyone else, and save her from being so worked up as to lose enjoyment in her one consolation tonight? She felt someone staring, cutting a line across her arms, her collarbone—she didn’t dare look to see if it was still him. She had to talk to him later.

The song finally ended, and Jesse thanked Mike with a customary hug. Some of the onlookers clapped, and Jesse warmed a little as she smiled shyly around at them. Barnes had vanished, thank god.

Jesse slipped away to get her cup, disturbed. She couldn’t think of Barnes like that; he’d done so much for BCEI. And Marilyn liked him. She took a breath to clear her head and arrived at her table.

Oh.

Well.

Sergeant Barnes was sitting next to her things. An old woman was chatting to him from his other side. Barnes glanced at her as she approached, but almost immediate turned his whole body to face her. His gaze was less severe than before; maybe the effect of his companion?

“Hello,” Jesse said, doing her best to maintain a genuine smile.

“Hey,” Barnes said. His voice was soft, a little melancholy, and not exactly friendly. Still, a big improvement.

Jesse slid into her seat and wrapped her hands nervously around her glass, which a waiter came by to refill. The tables were awfully crowded; there was no room to avoid Barnes' gaze without seeming rude. She took a steadying breath and looked back up at him as confidently as she could.

Okay, she knew he was ripped, but his face was oddly delicate. Maybe his sad eyes, or his mouth—Jesse cut herself off.

“I’m here for BCEI instead Marilyn,” she told him.

Barnes stiffened. His eyes narrowed as he leaned back a little to regard her with a suddenly terrifying demeanor. “Oh? What happened to Marilyn?”

“She broke her ankle,” Jesse blurted, her own eyes widening as his narrowed even further. “She’s alright though! Just a fall. A cat or… something. I’m sorry.”

“Bucky, contain yourself before you make this poor girl faint,” the old woman on Barnes' other side cut in. She leaned forward a bit and smiled, not unkindly, at Jesse. “You dance beautifully.”

“Oh, um, thanks,” Jesse said, cheeks hot. She stared into her water, trying to relax.

“I’m sorry,” Barnes said, low and repentant. “I was looking forward to seeing her.”

Jesse forced a little laugh. “It’s okay. I’m sorry too! She was looking forward to coming.”

“But you weren’t?” he asked. She looked up at that. He had his eyebrows raised a little, and she flushed anew. Was it so obvious?

“I only found out I was coming this morning,” she hedged. “I’ve never been to anything like this. I don’t think I’ll know if I should’ve looked forward to it until it’s over.”

He let out a rueful sigh. “Smart.”

Jesse sipped her water rather than agree with him. Far be it from her to tout her own intelligence. Though she couldn’t help but wonder what he was thinking of. He had to be thinking of something specific. She wondered.

The old woman on Barnes' other side reclaimed his attention with what turned out to be a long-winded story. Jesse couldn’t help but admire his quiet attentiveness. Perhaps listening to other people was easier than talking for him? She often found it so among strangers.

Five minutes in, the band quieted. The rest of their table filled in as Pepper Potts mounted the stage, a hulking man in a suit close at her heels. Jesse tried to figure out who in the crowd was a donor and who, like her, was a beneficiary. It was easier with the women—the rich ones had nicer, blingier jewelry. The men… all wore suits.

Potts began her speech, silencing all other conversations. “Hi and welcome to Stark Industries’ annual benefit…”

Jesse listened, half attentive, as Potts introduced various people representing various organizations. Each one went on stage to applause and shook Potts’ hand (continued applause), made a short speech about their Good Works (followed by applause), and left the stage. Jesse began to tune it all out, but then she heard Barnes' name and perked up.

“—Sergeant James Barnes, for his work with the Brooklyn Children’s Education Initiative.”

A smattering of applause echoed through the room as Barnes stood. The couple across the table from Jesse paled as they stared at him in fresh realization. Had they really not recognized him? Jesse glanced around; the shock and whispers were poorly masked by polite clapping. Apparently he wasn’t as instantly recognizable as she’d assumed.

A sudden burst of panic flared in her gut. Would Barnes' checkered history color BCEI’s opportunities in the future? Had she made a mistake soliciting his help?

She stared anxiously around the crowd, then back to Barnes. He stepped nimbly between the tables and up the steps to the podium, shook Pepper Potts’ hand, and adjusted the mic to his six-foot frame.

“Thanks,” Barnes said. His voice was soft, round, and vaguely ironic, but he met her eyes from across the room and gave her a serious little nod. Surprised, Jesse nodded back, and Barnes looked up to the prompter. “The Brooklyn Children’s Education Initiative provides the opportunity for underprivileged kids in my hometown to be fully engaged with their education. Their after-school programs at schools around Brooklyn welcome students of all backgrounds. I was lucky enough to participate in a program about the Great Depression, and it was inspiring to watch the students take control of their own learning. BCEI is a great cause. Thanks, Pepper, and everyone else who enables them to continue their good work.”

Once he stepped back, Jesse relaxed. It was so obviously scripted that she felt no qualms in only clapping as long as most others. It wasn’t any skin off his back if she didn’t give a standing ovation for her own organization.

Best of all, the speech completely sidestepped his questionable past.

When Barnes made it back to the table, Jesse smiled up at him briefly, finally at ease about her attendance. She was done! BCEI had done its part. As soon as the rest of the speeches were done, she could leave, dance with Mike, make small talk—

Well, hopefully not small talk.

As the next speech went underway, Jesse looked through the crowd for Mike, finally spotting him a few tables away next to a middle-aged blond woman. Mike was busy watching the speech, but the woman eventually glanced Jesse’s way. Jesse gave a little smile and looked back to the stage, embarrassed.

Pepper Potts finished her closing statements and left the stage (to applause) as the band picked back up. Jesse turned at last to Barnes and cleared her throat.

Once he turned to her, she said, “Thank you for your speech.”

“You’re welcome,” he said. He took a sip of his drink; Jesse realized he too was just drinking water, and wondered why. Habit, or necessity?

“I don’t know your name,” Barnes said suddenly.

“Oh, I’m sorry! I’m Jesse.”

He studied her face. “You apologize a lot,” he said. “Why?”

“I dunno, Jewish guilt?”

“Ha.” Barnes said, but he was not smiling.

Of course—he’d worked for Nazis. Jesse winced.

“Alternatively, bad parenting?” she offered.

Barnes gave a tiny smile—his first all night. Jesse almost cheered.

“Hi, Jesse.”

Jesse spun in her seat. “Mike! Hi!” She smiled up at her friend. Mike glanced at Barnes with muted curiosity.

“Wanna dance?” he asked.

She smiled and jumped to her feet. Let Barnes be awkward at someone else. “Take a guess.”

–

Jesse danced with Mike for a single glorious song. When a stranger asked her to dance, she accepted, but instantly regretted it. She smiled tensely the whole time, using as much force as she dared to keep her shoulder from popping out of its socket. Once the song was over, she fled back to Mike with a relieved sigh.

While they were dancing, someone kicked the back of Jesse’s ankle. She stumbled with a wince; Mike gripped her elbow, steadying her.

“I’m sorry! Are you okay?” she asked automatically, turning to face whoever had stepped on her.

It was Barnes, dancing with the old woman from their table. His face was pinched, but as she spoke his expression grew incredulous.

“I kicked you,” he said. “Are you okay?”

“Of course, it happens all the time,” Jesse said. She rolled her ankle, containing a wince. Barnes just stared at her. She smiled, hoping to diffuse—reassure him. “So I’ll have a bruise! It’s the cost of doing business. Not a big deal. You’re okay?”

“I’m fine,” he said, still looking at her as though she had two heads.

“Good,” Jesse said. She nodded with finality and turned back to Mike. As they finished out the song, she occasionally met Barnes' eyes. It was hard to look friendly under the force of his confusion, especially as she considered the necessity of asking after the well-being of someone who had not been hurt when that someone was a supersoldier.

Of course Barnes was fine. He was engineered to be fine.

Physically, anyway. Who knew what was going on in his head.

The song ended—Mike timed a dip perfectly—and Jesse hugged him and turned to get some water.

“Would you like to dance?”

Jesse blinked up at Barnes. He stood in her way, his gloved hand held out to her. She looked down at it, then back to him. Why was he asking? Out of politeness? He’d been more confounded by her than anything…

More importantly, did she actually want to dance with him? Would he hurt her? He didn’t seem to know how to express himself in public. Did that translate to dancing?

Well, the old woman had finished her dance with him in one piece, so she probably would too.

“Okay,” she said finally, and put her hand in his.

The corners of his mouth turned up, though she wouldn’t call it a smile exactly. He put his other arm—his flesh-and-bones arm—under hers and across her back, drawing her in so close that her nose brushed his jacket until she turned her head aside. She let out a shallow breath and tried to relax as the music started, simple and slow and gentle. His muscles shifted with his movements, and a sudden flush spread over her face as she realized how close they were. Jesse swallowed. Should she try to make conversation? Should she just bear the silence? What would they even talk about? They’d covered all the normal things back at the table…

“You dance real well,” Barnes said suddenly.

Jesse hummed her thanks and smiled despite herself. If someone who had lived through the actual swing era thought she was doing a good job even when she was so damn uncomfortable, she had to be good.

He moved them a little apart and studied her. “And you look… a little out of place.”

“What?!” Jesse laughed, too bewildered to be offended.

“Your dress is out of time. It’s, um…” Barnes frowned. His gloved hand clenched around hers, and her smile fell flat. Her heart twisted at his obvious confusion. God, no wonder he’d stared at her! He couldn’t place her. Captain America had missed everything for all the years he was missing, but the Winter Soldier… hadn’t.

Her face burned. How could she have been so self-centered? Every concern she’d had about Barnes had been all about her, not him. So what if he was awkward, or intimidating? Hadn’t he suffered enough? Hadn’t he earned the right to be free of her judgment?

“It’s from the fifties,” Jesse said at last, glancing at their clasped hands as his hold tightened again. He loosened his grip, chagrined.

“I thought so,” he said. “But—”

“My hair’s very much not fifties,” she added. “That might have thrown you off?”

Barnes tilted his head as he regarded her. She tried not to squirm, but being stared at by a man trying to piece her various incongruent parts together made her flesh crawl. It felt like an eternity before he was satisfied.

“Right,” he said. He let out a breath between his teeth and drew her back in, settling his arm securely around her. “Thank you.”

His mouth was by her ear, and the quiet warmth of his words sent a sudden shiver through her. Unable to speak, she just nodded.

How could such a strange, displaced man make her feel his presence with nothing more than a simple thank you? Dancing with him was so different from dancing with all the other leads she knew. With them, she had familiarity, comfort… There was comfort here too—he knew what he was doing, no question—but it was spiced with something dark. However awkward he was in conversation, they weren’t limited by that now. Behind that uncomfortable veneer, Barnes was dangerous. Somehow, that thrilled her.

Jesse sighed and closed her eyes, trying not to melt into Barnes’ solid hold. Her efforts must have been in vain, as he tightened his arm around her ever so slightly. She expected him to put her back to a safe distance, but… he didn’t.

Well, she’d take it. Whatever danger he posed to his enemies, right now he wasn’t hurting anyone.

The rest of the song passed in a pleasant blur. When it was over, Jesse hesitated before stepping back. Barnes had gone still, but he let her pull away without resistance.

“Thank you,” Jesse said. She smiled tentatively up at him.

Barnes didn’t answer; his eyes were dark and his shoulders tense. He stared down at her, unblinking. Jesse bit her lip, unable to look away. After a tense moment, he let out a quick breath, nodded sharply, and stalked away.

Jesse stood immobilized on the dance floor until Mike came by with his own water.

“You okay, Jesse?” he asked.

“I think so,” she said. She shook off the strange aftereffects of her dance with Barnes. “I think I’m going to head out. It was great seeing you! Will you be at the dance on Thursday?”

“I should be,” Mike said. He gave her a quick hug. “Bye.”

“See ya.”

Jesse made her way back to her table, still half in a daze as she gathered her clutch and wove her way back to the door. She was almost there when someone put a firm hand on her arm, stopping her in her tracks.

It was Barnes. His face was back to its normal solemnity, but Jesse flushed all the same at the sudden memory of being held against him.

“Where is Marilyn staying?” he asked.

“Oh, I don’t know. I’m sorry. I can find out,” she offered reflexively, then frowned. “Although I don’t know how to get in touch with you.”

“Give me your phone,” he said. “Unlocked.”

Jesse blinked and did as he asked. There was no arguing with that tone of voice. Barnes started a new text, and Jesse raised her eyebrows. “Aren’t you worried I’d give your number to someone else?”

He gave her a dry look, but paused. “Are you going to?”

“No…”

“So I’m not worried.” He sent the text and passed her phone back to her. “Thanks.”

“No problem.” Jesse tucked her phone away, bewildered. “You and Marilyn must have really hit it off.”

“She’s great. No nonsense, no judgment.”

Jesse bit the inside of her lip. “I suppose so.”

Barnes’ eyes narrowed at once. “What do you mean?”

“Oh—well, everyone’s judgmental. It’s just that Marilyn is usually right, so it’s not so obvious. Or annoying. At least for sensible folk. You know.”

Barnes smiled, his face transformed into something sweet and warm. Jesse couldn’t help but smile back.

[pseudonymfox]

Abort Mission (8)

Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: You and your boyfriend have powers, now he is dead and you are  expecting a baby. Hydra is interested in the child so they send the  Winter Soldier. What happens if Bucky unexpectedly falls for you…

This Part: Accidental confession are made and both you and Bucky get closer and closer until you finally give birth...

Warnings: mentions of pregnancy, language, angst, fluff, birth

A/N: yeah I just wanted to get over the birth lol thats why it’s so short but anyway I hope I don’t offend anyone with this cause I have no Idea about how birth is and everything included to this but I tried my best. Tell me if I did something wrong or let me know about your experience?? :D

Series Masterlist - Main Masterlist

<< Previous Part

Today is the day. You got into early labor a few hours ago. In the beginning it wasn’t that bad, more uncomfortable but that changed rather quickly. Also you water didn’t break yet and the time in between the contraction wasn’t short enough, so you didn’t wanted to go to any doctor or hospital for now. You didn’t wanted to tell Bucky this soon but he also woke up the second you did with your first contractions and it took a long time convincing him not to drag you to a hospital. Anyone would probably send you away again anyways.

Since New Year’s and your sweet little moment you shared it was almost as always and yet different, like a relationship but unofficially or an unspoken one. Could be also possible that you got delusional through you lack of sleep and imagined it all. Who knows.

Besides all of that you got mostly every month a package or letters from Abi and George, filled with self made baby clothes or other things. Sadly they told you right at the beginning of the New Year that Hunter died. Your sweet little beagle you learned to love so much but time goes on and you learned to live with it. Right in the early mornings you awoke once again from the pain in your lower abdomen. Nothing really helped besides waiting for the end.

“Again? We should go now come one” Bucky lifted his sleepy head from his bed and started to dress himself but you stopped him by his wrist.

“No we had that conversation already Buck. Just lay down again. I’ll be fine in a minute or so” you said through gritted teeth assuring him. Bucky got into something like a protective-dad mode which you of course liked but you weren’t sure if he wanted to be a father figure or if you pushed that onto him. Both of you never talked about anything what happens after you gave birth to your son. All that was said was to get out of the country until then.

“Can we talk about something?” you asked, the pain slowly letting go again.

“Something specific?” he said cross legged next to you, holding your hand assuring.

“About what happens if it goes downhill” you said looking up to him but he simply stood up walked to the bathroom with you following because that needed to be said.

“We gotta talk about it. Maybe I am being paranoid and crazy but I want to at least talk about it.” you kept you glance on him as he sternly started brushing his teeth.

“I don’t” Bucky said in between.

“That doesn’t matter. If you don’t wanna fine but just listen: If I don’t make it you take care of this child, if we both don’t make it than I want you to go and find Steve. I know he’s important to you and if you don’t have that bagage anymore then please do me a favor and find your best friend..otherwise I’ll haunt your ass down as a ghost” you chuckled trying to keep this as simple as possible. There was just that small chance of something happening so you don’t want to say that this is your last goodbye to Bucky or something.

“Alright” he smiled, and you hold your finger out to him. “-promise?”you asked smirking but he hesitated a bit to long.

“Oh my god Bucky..I didn’t say it will happen. I just want to you to promise me that you will take care of him and yourself. Alright?” Gladly he linked your fingers together but held onto it after you wanted to let go again. “Now you promise me something” he suggested firmly, you only nodded in response.

“If and only if something goes wrong you won’t just give up. You will fight against it and give your very very best” he said, his voice getting quieter with the last words. “Of course” you replied and got up as he wanted to go in for a hug. That isn’t a stupid rom-com where you made your last promise or something. So you won’t cry or even hug him or be sentimal

“That isn’t emotional Bucky” you said and could almost hear his eyes roll and the sigh he did.

“Can’t even get a hug anymore.” you heard him mumble. “Oh please..” you chuckled, sitting down onto the couch you laid your head onto the back. Your hands on your belly hoping to just stop it, you weren’t ready for being in labor like at all, your anxiety increased with like every second. Only a minute or so passed as you heard the sound of a camera going off. Lifting your head you looked confused to Bucky who had a instant camera in his hands, shaking the picture that just came out.

“What are you doing?” you raised your eyebrows at him.

“Don’t you want some picture for afterwards?” he replied and looked at the picture showing it in your direction. It was immense to see you from that point of view, with the huge pump you got, a messy bun and clearly the signs of the lack of sleep. “Where and when did you even brought this?” you exclaimed, feeling a bit embarrassed.

“from the market. This old guy sold it me for a few bucks” Bucky smirked and took another picture from you. “Would you stop?” you chuckled and hid your face from him.

“No you will regret this if I’ll stop. Look they are really good” He got up and showed you the pictures he had in his journal. Just totally random picture from you or outside or things in your apartment. As he looked at the pictures you took quickly the camera also taking pictures of him. “Oh yes they are” you laughed taking a few more before he snatched it out of your hand. Another contraction struck through you, it lasted a bit longer now but not long  enough and the time in between was also still way to long.

“(Y/N)?” you heard Bucky ask worried. “I’m fine, just a harder one I guess” you assured.

“We should really go see someone now” he said. But you didn’t wanna. You are not ready for this. What if you are a terrible mom or you do something out of accident.

“You don’t have much of a choice” he chuckled. “Yes I have. We wait til my water breaks ok?” you tried to argue which was totally not the best time to do. The contraction stopped now anyways.  

“I don’t think that’s a good idea”

“Calm down ok. They are still not near enough to go to a hospital” you said drinking another glass of water. You knew it’s time now, with every contraction the pain also increased.

“How many did you have til now?” Bucky asked while scribbling something down.

“I don’t know?five maybe more” you thought and looked to Bucky who closed it again.

“Are you writing them down?Why are you already a better mol than I am?” you shook your head laughing.

“Yes I am writing them down but I won’t be a better mom, you can believe me that”

he looked up to you now.

“We didn’t exactly talked about it or us but I thought if you want to of course-” you stopped thinking about it. You would feel guilty if you did it, like you are betraying Luke or something. You are certain that he’s dead and that you wanted a father figure for your son but you couldn’t bring yourself to it to even ask Bucky that because would he even want that?

“Yeeeah?” Bucky looked confused to you, bringing you out of your little daydream.

“Uhh if you wanted to stay in the room with me.” you cleared your thought and quickly changed your original idea.

“Like I would leave you alone” he said coming up to your side, right in the moment as you laid your glass into the sink you felt another one rushing in much earlier then the last ones and much stronger too. Groaning you leaned onto the sink, gripping the sides tightly, seems like you also didn’t have much control right now as the sink froze were still water was. You felt Bucky caressing your back and giving your courage. Suddenly you felt this wet warm fluid that run down your legs. It’s time now and you are still not ready for it.

“Bucky...My water just broke” you brought out with shaky voice. His hand stopped going in circles for a second.

“Ok then let’s go or no you sit down I’ll go get your bag” he stuttered and helped you away from the sink and down onto a chair. As he run around the room looking for the bag you already packed a week ago because you were so impatient.

“No we wait. There’s still time..I- I wanna wait” you sobbed quietly out from the pain increasing through the contractions.

“til the baby comes? I didn’t get to the chapter yet” he exclaimed with sarcastic undertone and as you looked up you saw the smile on his lips just as you thought he would be. Tears struck in your eyes already burning.

“You wanna meet your son? then we go to the hospital now. It will be over in no time. I know that you can do it and I won’t leave your side” he took your hand and his and squeezed it a couple of times to assure and comfort you. It helped a lot but pain like this is stronger.

“Ok” you said with a following sob and let go of him to change into a new pair of sweatpants and put on your shoes and Jacket. The elevator was thankfully empty, the ride to the hospital was not so nice, the driver didn’t really like someone almost giving birth in his car.

Coming to the hospital you leaned onto the front desk while Bucky talked to her.

“How can I help you sir?” she looked to Bucky not even noticing you.

“My Girlfriend is in labor!?” he pointed to you and also keeping a hand on your back. The nurse whistled someone over, a lady helped you into a wheelchair and rolled you away, in a different direction. Looking back towards Bucky you saw him going after you but the madam kept him on the spot. Your nurse also kept you up with questions it made you anxious to be alone with strangers, her english wasn’t the best but didn’t matter anyway now. There was a baby that wanted to come out!

“What are the names?” the front desk lady asked Bucky as he kept his stare into the hallway where you disappeared.

“(Y/N) (Y/L/N) and I am..Bucky Barnes” he told her with hesitation but he couldn’t concentrate now.

“Are you the father sir?”

“...sir?” she raised her voice again.

“uh..yes” he said and not because he really wanted to be something like that because he was scared that he weren’t allowed into the room or..in case something would happen from the things you talked about. On the way to your room she asked a bit more but left him alone as they stood before the room.

“Heeeeeeey buckyyy” you said with silly voice. Exactly the opposite from what he thought would happen.

“How are you?” he smirked at you, who sat sideways in a hospital gown there and giggled through her contractions.

“Weird. They already gave me some painkillers and the epidural and now I can’t feel my legs” you told him, your eyes fluttering every few seconds. Two nurses always kept you company checking some things and just getting ready. Contraction after contraction and you still had to wait which was unbearable to do.

“I am hungry” you muttered in between huffing and panting while holding onto Bucky’s hand tightly, you saw his knuckles already turning white.

“You can have whatever you want afterwards” He said. The nurse helping you through the next one telling you that you have to push after the next one and that she would get the doctor now.

“I liked that you called me your girlfriend” you said again with closed eyes, your forehead sweaty but he wouldn’t have it another way according to the other ways that could have happened. He brought his hand up to your face to swipe away a few hair strands that sticked to your face.

“Really?” his smiled disappeared taking that rather serious even tho he is certain that you will forget about this with whatever is in your blood right now. You hummed in response as the doctors and nurses helped you through your pushes, you didn’t much of the pain. More like somehow what really is going on. It was really weird. The nurse counted them down to help you through it. Another one hour or so of pushes you finally welcomed your son into the world. You did it you kept hearing them say as they laid him on your chest for a minute. His soft cries echoed through the room as you cried too. The pain and worries disappearing with just one look at him.

As they were done with the tests and all the stuff you laid in bed with Bucky sitting beside you, your little still unnamed son in your arms.

“You know if you have no problem with it I would uhm- I want you to have a voice in this too. In his life and everything. But if you don’t want to it’s fine too” you couldn’t even bring your eyes away from his. He has the bright green ones like his dad which was almost scary to see after all these months, like you forgot him. Bucky wanted to say no if he was being honest but Hydra is gone at least as it seemed to be and his nightmares are away too if he was with you. Your life isn’t perfect that was as clear as a day and it’s gonna be hard from now on but he couldn’t help himself as he leaned to you letting your eyes meet his before he cradled you cheek softly and kissed you.  

You took that as a yes. For now everything was perfect. Sadly nothing was forever...

Next Part>>

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xoxo Sophie <3

[dykexion]

tagged by @minatodilf ty Ash 👌👌

What was your last

Drink: just plain water

Last phone call: my dad (I'm not big on phone calls so only my parents really call me normally)

Last text: telling @vulturousculturalist to go to sleep because it was 1am and I'm the responsible friend uwu. if discord messages don't count then I was texting one of my friends calling Zero from megaman a himbo at like 5am

Last song you listened to: Kansas by Gorillaz

Last time you cried: a few days ago I think

Have you ever dated someone: nope! being a small town dyke that goes to a catholic school unfortunately doesn't give me many dating prospects 😅

Been cheated on: nah

Kissed someone and regretted it: I don't think so actually, I once kissed a friend and it was,,,,a lil weird and we're not actually friends anymore (unrelated) and I don't like her but,,,,it was just something that happened I guess

Lost someone special: not really

Been drunk and thrown up: never been drunk! I never drink enough to make me more than just a lil tipsy

List three fave colors: black green and purple

In the last year have you…

Made a new friend: yeah!

Fallen out of love: nope

Laughed until you cried: many times, I laugh at things really easily

Met someone that changed you: I have no sense of self so maybe lmao

Found out who your true friends are: haha yeah. it was fun having an "intervention" staged about me being "unnecessarily rude to everyone and unable to make friends" when I reported a kid for harassing my other friend and making sexist and racist comments. needless to say the person who did that's not my fuckin friend anymore

Found out someone was talking about you: hahaha.

Kissed someone on your FB friends list: don't have facebook

General

How many people on your FB friends list do you know irl: don't have facebook

Do you have any pets: unfortunately no though I adore all kinds of animals. I do lay somewhat of a claim to my friend's cat because she actually apparently likes me better than the people who live with her lmao (take that Lorna!)

Do you want to change your name: hmmm i don't think so tbh, I was thinking of going by a shortening of my middle name (Louise -> Lou) occasionally but idk lmao

What did you do for your last birthday: I don't think I've actually done anything for my birthday since I was like 10. I was gonna meet up with a few friends last year but coincidentally there was a school trip the same day and we got stuck in traffic on the way back so I couldn't do that :/

What time did you wake up today: about 4am. I went to sleep just after midnight and woke up four hours later unable to go back to sleep. I'm out of school for the summer but I've still been instinctively waking up at around the time I'd get up for school anyway but today just took the biscuit and woke me two hours before that

What were you doing at midnight last night: watching the snapcube Sonic 06 fandub

Name something you CANNOT wait for: uhhhhhhhh idk tbh. something will probably come to me immediately after I post this though

Last time you saw your mother: saw her like an hour ago

What is one thing you wish you could change about life: not to be stereotypical but money probably. my family's kinda in deep shit atm because we're paying out our arses to keep my grandma in the care home she's at bc we can't take care of her but that costs a serious amount of money so we don't have too much left for other stuff and it's just a tad Worrying

What are you listening to right now: I've got Gorillaz on shuffle on spotify and I can also kinda hear the rain outside

Have you ever talked to a person with the name Tom: unfortunately yes.

What’s getting on your nerves: thinking about my exam results that I'm not gonna get back until the end of August that decide my academic path for at least the next two years

Most visited website: YouTube and Tumblr

Nickname: not too many people call me nicknames anymore but cookie and amy-lou are what people used to call me (still do occasionally)

Relationship status: single

Zodiac sign: libra (+ aquarius moon and rising)

Pronouns: she/her or they/them + I also go by he/him in my head sometimes.....indecisive

Fave tv shows: I don't watch too much TV but uhhh recently I watched good omens and lucifer they were alright

Hair color: brown but I used to be super blonde when I was little. I'm also hopefully dyeing it soon, probably purple

Long or short: I prefer having my hair short and I've gone through cycles of long hair to short hair through my life lmao. the current short hair has stayed for three years so far though so thats A New Record

Height: 5'3

Do you have a crush on someone: idk tbh

What do you like about yourself: uh. despite being a major dumbass I'm actually quite clever and I like that I can help people with that. when I'm not hiding them behind my glasses or fringe I get complimented on my eyes occasionally so that's a nice physical thing. oh and also being gay as hell yeehaw

Tattoos: I don't have any but I'd kinda maybe want a simple one in the future

Righty or Lefty: righty

First surgery: never had one. I've never even fractured a bone somehow

First piercing: not actually got any piercings yet....my mum always said no piercings until I was 18 but I'm working on getting my ears pierced this summer

First best friend: this (only) girl I was friends with in like year 1 and 2. she left school after that and I never saw her again, Elizabeth if you're out there....

First sport you joined: ballet! I've been doing it for over a decade now lmao I'm almost at the point where I could become a qualified teacher if I wanted to (cue identity crisis over what I want out of life)

First pair of trainers: why??

Right now

Eating: toast

Drinking: woter

Listening to: this question has been asked three times now lmao, Gorillaz on Spotify

Want kids: probably not

Career: I want to be a translator or smth like that

Which is better:

Lips or eyes: eyes

Hugs or kissed: hugs

Shorter or taller: don't mind

Romantic or spontaneous: romantic

Nice stomach or nice arms: Arms For Hugging

Sensitive or loud: sensitive probably

Hook up or relationship: relationship definitely

Troublemaker or hesitant: hmmmm idk

Have you ever:

Kissed a stranger: nope

Drank hard liquor: nope

Lost glasses/contacts: fuckin constantly

Sex on a first date: nope

Broke someone’s heart: uh maybe? there was this one kid that seemed to have been really into me for a while that I turned down when we were like 14 (sorry Jamie lmao but you were instrumental in me figuring out I didn't like dudes so thanks mate)

Had your own heart broken: nah

Been arrested: never

Turned someone down: yea

Cried when someone died: yea

Fallen for a friend: unfortunately lol potentially multiple times but I'm still a disaster who can't differentiate between strong romantic and platonic feelings wassup

Do you believe in:

Yourself: eh they're alright occasionally

Miracles: nope

Love at first sight: not really

Santa Claus: nope. not sure if my parents ever bothered that much keeping it secret that he wasn't real

Kiss on the first date: sure why not

Angels: nah

i tag: (only if you wanna do it since this is super long) @vulturousculturalist @jothriku @comicsansisasin + anyone who wants to do it. I'm not tagging too many people since this is A Lot and it seems like other people are already doing this stuff atm, have a fun tuesday

[quiet-onset]

Too Soon

Pairing: Thor Odinson x Reader

Word Count: 1,439

A/N: Since @occasionalfics wanted more, I wrote more lol. This has been sitting in my drafts for 2 weeks, so I figured I should finally post it. You don’t necessarily have to read the last part, Incompatible Compatibility, to understand this, but I’d highly recommend it *wink wink* *nudge nudge*

It was too soon.

The date that followed your train ride with Thor reunited you. You were back together in the blink of an eye, your past problems acknowledged but resolved. You both had to do some reconciling with each other’s friends and family, but they seemed to accept the new and improved relationship soon enough.

You had only been together again for 3 months when you decided to move in together. You decided on a penthouse apartment halfway between his job and your own. Through your glass walls, you had a perfect view of New York, but your eyes always seemed to take refuge in the view of Thor. His smile had to be brighter than all of New York’s lights, his skin soft enough to relax our senses but rough enough to keep you on your toes. He reminded you of the city in that way.

The pattern of living was no more domestic than it had been before. You both went to work in the morning, sure, but you both always found ways to keep the relationship lively. Whether it was sleeping in a fort made of pillows or sex in front the glass walls that overlooked the city, you were never bored.

But that was precisely why this news had you so frightened. It was too soon.

Thor had been on his way home from work when you found out. You sat in the bathroom, tears running down your cheeks. You didn’t know whether you were happy or sad. You hated the twists at the pit of your stomach, but also welcomed them with open arms. It was contradictory, but it was how you felt.

You heard the front door open and jumped up. Deciding that you’d tell him as soon as you could muster the courage, you splashed your face with water and walked out, your head held high. “Thor?” You called after clearing your throat.

“In the kitchen!” He called.

You walked through the long hallway and passed through the living room, where you spotted his suit jacket and briefcase laying on the couch, before arriving in the kitchen. You saw him downing a glass of water when you walked in. He was facing away from you, the muscles under his white dress shirt moving languidly.

You approached him from behind and wrapped your arms around his middle. He chuckled as you rested your cheek against his back. Setting his glass down, he turned in your arms, his warm palms resting innocently on the curve of your ass. He smiled that warm smile down at you and pressed a kiss to your forehead.

He then lifted you easily, laughing quietly at the squeal of surprise you let out. He set you on the counter, and you nearly knocked over the glass. He caught the glass quickly before looking up at you. “How was your day, princess?”

“Boring.” You admitted as he pushed a stray hair from your face. You ignored his playful pout as you continued. “Our client cancelled last minute, so I was stuck doing paperwork all day. And the new interns are completely lost. Had to teach them everything all over again.”

“I’m sorry.” He pecked your lips. “If it makes you feel any better, my day sucked, too.”

“It does.”

He laughed loudly, making you finally let out a laugh of your own. He held your face between his hands and pressed a peck on your nose. “There’s that smile.” He cooed. Suddenly, his brow furrowed as he ran his thumbs under your eyes. “You’ve been crying.”

You looked at the ground as you pulled away from him. “I’m fine.”

“You’re fine, but you’ve been crying?” Thor asked, placing his arms on either side of you to cage in. He dropped his head to get closer and nudged your nose with his. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong.”

“Y/N…”

“Nothing is wrong.”

“Y/N, you know I love you, but I can’t help you fix the problem if you don’t tell me what it is.”

You sighed and lightly pushed him away, hopping down from the counter. You walked around the island to put some distance between you. His head dropped between his shoulders as you spoke. “How do you always do that?”

“Do what?” He didn’t move when he asked his question.

“Not get mad at me when I don’t want to talk?”

He turned around, his brow furrowed. “Do you want me to be mad?” Your mouth dropped open to answer, but he continued instead. “Am I upset? Yes. But I’m not mad at you. Why would you want me to be mad at you?”

“I don’t. Or maybe I do. I don’t know.” You said quietly, crossing your arms. You muttered, “That’d sure make it easier.”

“Y/N,” He started carefully. He walked up to the island and placed his hands on the counter. “What’s this all about?”

“I can’t tell you.” You whispered.

“Why not?”

“It could change everything between us. And I don’t know if I want it to change.”

He stood silently, straightening his posture. He reached a hand up and gripped his tie, loosening it. The action usually excited you, but you couldn’t help ignoring the feeling. Thor began to walk around the island and past you to exit the kitchen. “I’m going to work in my office. Come find me when you’re read—-”

“I’m pregnant.”

The silence that followed was tense. You were too afraid to look at him. After all, this was part of the reason you broke up the first time. You were so scared that his stance hadn’t changed after all these years; that he still didn’t want kids. You kept your gaze on the marble of the island counter, only looking up when he walked out of the kitchen.

Your brow furrowed as you followed him, anger starting to set in. “Thor? Thor! Did you hear me?”

“I heard you.”

“Well? Aren’t you going to say anything? Thor!”

You followed him all the way back to the bedroom. He proceeded to pull out one of his suitcases, making you gasp. Tears filled your eyes, “So you’re just gonna leave? After everything, we’re just gonna break up again because this wasn’t a part of your plan? Goddamn it, Thor! You can’t keep breaking my heart like this.”

“I know.”

You noticed that it didn’t seem like he was packing. It seemed more like he was rummaging around, looking for something. When he found it, he closed the suitcase and pushed it to the other side of the bed. He beckoned you over with a nod of his head. When you didn’t budge, he let out a small sigh. “Y/N, please.”

Reluctantly, you made your way over and sat down next to him. Thor looked up at you, “I wanted to wait. But now seems better than ever.” He moved his hands to reveal a small box, opening it to reveal a small ring. It was simple, but one of the most beautiful rings you’d ever seen. “This was my mother’s ring. When she died, my father gave it to me, hoping that I’d give it to you. Of course, I was too stupid to use it then. But I’m not gonna make the same mistake twice.”

“Thor?” You could feel yourself tremble in anticipation, all your anger melting away.

“I knew that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you the very second I saw you on that train.” He smiled, wiping a tear from his cheek. “Ever since then, I’ve been imagining our lives together. And, one night, I dreamt that we had a child.”

“You did?” You asked, tears falling from your eyes as well.

“A little girl.” He chuckled. “She was the most beautiful girl in the entire world, thanks to you. And I thought to myself, how could I not want her?”

“So you’re not leaving?”

“I’m never leaving.” He assured you. He took your hand and slid the ring onto your finger. “Marry me?”

You nodded quickly, lunging at him to capture his lips in a kiss. Thor laughed into your mouth as he wrapped his arms around your waist. He didn’t have time to react, so you both fell onto the bed. When you finally pulled away, you couldn’t stop smiling, and neither could he. He cupped your cheek in his large, warm hand, “You’re already such a great mother.”

You felt your cheeks heat up, leaning into him a bit with a sheepish smile, “So it’s not too soon?”

He chuckled and pecked your lips, “It couldn’t happen soon enough.”

Forever Tags:

@kimmy-h-life, @ben-platt-deserves-the-world , @thewordofthenerd, @wishuponastarlana, @yumel21, @here-for-your-bullshit, @bethbat, @iamafangirlofeverything, @loveisloveandmorepeopleneedit

[alex-baebae]

Immaculate

Chapter 6

Pairing: TOP X READER

He said nothing, then I tried to figure out what to do. I had never met a person like him... You know, a person who had suffered a lot, who had serious trauma, who didn't socialize well with people because he was too much scared for.

It was so difficult, everytime I was thinking about what to say and what to do... I didn't want him to be hurt anymore. I wanted to help, however I didn't know well how to do it.

I said nothing and went to pay the makeup, he followed me while holding hands. "Thank you" I said to the shop assistant then we left the store. We walked around, looking for clothes and stuff he probably would need.

"You look nice" I said, when he after many minutes he left the fitting room wearing an outfit I chose for him. Perhaps dress by himself was difficult... he spread his arms as for check out if the clothes suited him.

After the things I said in the makeup store he didn't talk to me, 'maybe I have done something wrong' I thought. He looked himself in the mirror, I walked towards him "I don't like it" he said as soon as I was behind him "oh! you can choose your clothes if you want, don't have to wear this' I said "No, no the clothes".

I looked at him confused "It" he pointed to his reflection "I don't like it"... Once again I didn't what to do... 'Is it possible that he hated himself?' I asked to myself.

"Hey, come here" I took his hand and entered again in the fitting room. I reached his makeup which was in my jeans' pocket, with my fingers I put some over his tattoo "It disappeared" he said with wide opened eyes "yeah...".

He looked different now, I mean he was not mad at me, but he was like if trying to avoid talking to me... However, now his expression was different.

"Better, isn't it?" I said, "took of the clothes, we'll buy these and then... Let's go home" he nodded.

Maybe we stayed just a little at the Mall, not as long as I had planned, but TOP seemed to be tired, and not enough fine to be there. That mall was not so far from my house, nevertheless I thought that next time we should go to another one, so less people would recognize us.

...

Finally I took a shower, could you believe that I forgot to? While I was in the shower, TOP was watching the TV of course I set up the child block so he wouldn't see the news... As I told you, news in these times are... Well, just very bad news.

When I finished changing my clothes I went to TOP's side when I sat down he shuddered, however when he saw my face he calmed down. "What are you watching?" I asked without mentioning his little shiver "a story about a boy and a girl" he said "it's a movie or a series?" I tried to have a longer talk with him "I don't know the difference" he told me "uhm, we can say that a movie is short compared to the series. A movie it's like a One-shot story and the series had many chapters sometimes" I said "oh... Then it's a movie" he told me watching the TV.

"_____" he said suddenly "yes?" I looked at him "why is he so nervous when she's around?" That was a love story... 'F*ck' I thought "oh... It's because he really likes her, and probably he fell for her" he tilted his head to one side as for trying to understand better the situation "And why isn't she nervous also?" He asked again "oh well, probably she haven't fall for him or she doesn't like him in that romantic way" he was watching carefully "But why?" He asked "sometimes you don't like people in that way, and sometimes viceversa, love is kind of complicated" he never looked at other direction "oh..." He said "so, what happens if you like someone and that someone doesn't like you in the same way?" He asked again as a little child, so many questions for me "well you reject them or you get rejected, sometimes hurts sometimes not so much. It depends on the person, on you, the situation".

The movie ended, fortunately it has a nice ending the girl finally fell for the guy... the typical history, nevertheless it seemed to be pretty new for TOP.

Time flies... the next day was the same. I woke up with a head over my chest and a nose buried on my neck. This time we were not so lucky so, I had to go to school.

Now TOP was more confident and not so much scared of me when he do simple things as drink some water, eat a fruit although he insisted on ask for my permission. I guessed he was recovering a little, I liked it.

At that moment he was at the kitchen looking for something. Suddenly, I heard a glass broking 'he's gonna cut himself' I thought as I went quickly into the kitchen.

That scene... He looked so scared trying to fix what he had done, he was terrified and some tears rolled down his eyes while he wanted to pick up quickly the small pieces of broken glass with trembling hands.

"TOP, don't worry I'll fix this, you could hurt yourself" I tried to reach his right shoulder he went back and covered his face with his arms "I'm so stupid" he said loud "Sorry, Don't... I didn't mean to" he yelled while sobbing hard.

His eyes were closed, he was kneeled still covering his face "sweetie, sweetie. I'm ____, don't you remember?" I touched his shoulder "ah" he yelled a little "TOP, TOP, let me see your hands, you have cut your hands" I was trying to convince him however he was panicked, he never looked at me, he was still sobbing hard and covering his face. "TOP, I need to treat your hands" blood started to fall over the floor "TOP, TOP, look at me" I said softly "please...".

I couldn't believe what was going on. The scene didn't let me think well, his bloody hands, his sobbing... 'what should I do?' I thought desperate. "Shh, it's okay sweetie" I hugged him tight, he shuddered violent and yelled when I reached his body.

...

Many minutes later he was less scared "____" he said, "what's wrong, my sunshine?" I told him sweetly "you..." He hesitated "you're not... Mad?" He asked shyly as he looked at my eyes with fear.

Maybe you are wondering why I hadn't took him to the doctor, well is complicated... He was a 'robot' and if his 'owner' had gone to the police station to file a complain or a missing report. I probably could had been arrested for 'stole someone's property' and him by that time could had been returned to them. I didn't want to say this, but if he escaped he would had been punished and by seeing his injured body he could be probably tortured and then killed by them.

I didn't know if he escaped, however just think about it: if he escaped or was just left in that place, he was now with me... and that horrible person would think he tried to escape anyways. I couldn't had be able to do anything also I would be in jail and maybe... by the time I could had get out, he could be died. I had to think carefully what to do, I had no more than one chance and if I fail well... you know the rest.

Of course I was thinking about going to see my aunt, she is a doctor. I knew that she will understand and that she was going to help us.

At that day we had to visit my aunt's house sooner than I expected, the reason? TOP started to vomit when he calmed down after broke the glass of water, he threw a blood cot. His mouth was full of blood and he's teeth completely crimson colored.

His t-shirt and jeans were covered with his mouth's and hands' blood. I were so much scared "oh my God, TOP" I helped him to stood up, I almost run for the first aid kit, quickly I washed his hands in the kitchen's sink, and treated his cuttings. He seemed he was not understanding what was happening "TOP, sweetie we have to go to the doctor".

Hey there! These is Alex, sorry again for the late updating... Sometimes varsity is not easy. However, hope you enjoy this chapter. Maybe I update again tomorrow.

Thanks for all your love ❤️

(fun fact: today I was writing this in class and my friend David tried to know what I was doing. Then he asked me and I said "none of your business" he tried to figure out again "is it a love letter?" He insisted many minutes that it was a love letter although I said it wasn't "aww you're writing this for someone, let me help ya, you always help me" he insisted on saw what I was writing. Then I told that was something for practicing English I was not going to tell him I write fanfiction, lol. Then I continue writing, and he tried to see again, so I covered my writing with the notifications bar "why you cover it, after all I don't speak English" he said) Maybe it was not fun at all, but in Spanish I guess was funnier 😂💞

Love y'all 🐾❤️🦊💞

Alex

[staarblaster]

Chapter Three

Hey, guys, before I upload chapter three I want to add another really boring announcement. School starts up again in tomorrow days, and I know my uploading schedule will be scarce. However, I will try to have chapters up whenever I can. Anyways here is chapter three and four, four is going up with a separate post. My posting schedule will be pretty random and I will post when I can. Also,, I’m gonna take a hiatus, for a month(?) 

Chapter Three

“The worst loneliness is to not be comfortable with yourself”-Mark Twain

Perfection (n):  the embodiment of being perfect

My grandmother was my hero when I was little she would tell me stories about her childhood. Growing up her father was a sound technician for MGM and her mother did the makeup and sometimes the celebrities would come over on special occasions like her birthday.

I suppose that’s what prompted her to want to work in the media and journalism.

She used to tell me stories of her adventures,  across Europe and her interviews with varying monarchies. It was on a train back to California where she met my grandfather,  she was drinking a scotch soda, which unbeknownst to him was more soda than scotch.

He was deep in a game of poker with several of his friends who were coming down to California, she was drinking a scotch soda, unbeknownst to him had more soda than scotch.

He was deep in a game of poker with several of his friends, she watched in silence with both curiosity and intrigue, occasionally getting glares from the men sitting around the table.

She watched as her future husband flushed hundreds, more like thousands of dollars into the game until she confidently said she was going to play next which got a few hearty chuckles, which caused her to roll her eyes, most of them were drunk and she had a very good poker face.  As the game commenced she managed to not just win back the money but two engagement rings, a pocket watch, and even her husband’s heart.

She used to tell me at the end of every story that curiosity and wit were our greatest gifts and with them, we could solve any mystery.

But once she died she became like a ghost, pictures of her were removed, only leaving rumors of her behind.

I couldn't let her disappear, so I decided to conduct my own private investigation.

When I was a little kid and I found a picture of her and my grandfather and my mom. I smiled as I held my first real lead.

In the picture, my grandparents looked so happy and then I noticed my mom hiding behind her leg. Slowly and gently I tried to remove the picture from the frame,  and as I slowly got it out my mom ripped the picture from my hands.

Her facial expression was a bright beet red as she violently ripped it out of my hands.

“Why can't you just play your role, Juliana? For once I'd like if you kept your nose of business that doesn't even involve you. ”

I felt the tears swell up inside of me. But, instead of fighting back my better instincts (crying) I immediately hugged my mom.

She sighed,

“I love you Jules...  sometimes I wish you'd be normal. Can you do that for me please?”

I nodded my head up and down slowly.

As she tucked me in again,  she kisses my head and holds the photograph in her hands, the next day I decided to take a little more time to try and fit in.

From then on stopped keeping my blonde hair up and let it down, I ditched my glasses for my more comfortable contacts.

I started to get involved more but it never seems to be enough for my parents. They kept insisting that I should do more, eventually leading me to dance and violin lessons (fortunately only lasting two years).

In the dance class, I realized that I was going to need ”subjects” after all a queen couldn't lead on her own.

In the dance class, I found the Chrissy's, they seem to have the dance studio under their boot heel.

If I could “liberate” them perhaps they'd follow me.

It didn't take long before I eventually made two friends in the class, Ophelia and Madison.

Madison was at least five foot eight and according to the Chrissy's had two left feet. She had light dyed purple hair and her eyes were a light Hazel although she seems like the last person that would be in the dance class she could actually dance pretty well. She would put the facade of insecurities but with confidently dance to Tchaikovsky. She was free to express who she was, as dancing was apart of her.

Ironically, however, being raised by a single dad and four brothers she had to keep the tougher shell in class for the sake of showing fragility. However, once she opened up she was loyal, dedicated and a really good listener.

Ophelia had a caramel skin tone, she was shy and had a shortened forearm but had the biggest heart.

She would walk dogs, and volunteer anywhere to show that she wasn't a girl with just a short arm.

As our friendship blossomed we decided that we would have a come have a “dance battle” against the Chrissy’s which was seen as ridiculous. But my girls and I were ready we could be successful.

However, on the day of our “battle” Ms. Clarke surprised us with all one-on-one auditions with Warren Academy, i.e one of the most prestigious art boarding school, it was basically Teen Julliard. Not everyone would make it in (obviously), but if you did you had potential to be a Broadway legend.

Krissy and I were unfortunately paired together and our theme was duality. One of us would play the person staring into the mirror “angel” and the other would play the reflection the “devil”.

Of course, yours truly got stuck playing the devil and Krissy had to defeat me. Everything was going smoothly but as soon as I was getting ready to give Krissy my final blow Krissy had stepped on my ankle hard.

She claimed that it was an accident only to tell her friends that was indeed deliberate which prompted a) Warren offered me a full scholarship b) my parents threatened to sue the dance studio and Krissy's parents of criminal action weren't taken.

Eventually, it was with Krissy being sent to juvie for two to five years.

As I began to start at my new school Maddie, Ophelia and I began to drift away from each other. I had to do well in this Art School even if I was alone.

Over time I gained a sort of popularity stemming from the incident with my ankle it just started casually saying that I broke it following an audition and then warping into a story of me breaking it while I was on a Broadway stage.

My attempts to quell the rumors only spawn more rumors and newfound popularity and a new boyfriend. My life completely changed when I entered Warren and I never expected any more changes.

---

Wednesday’s were personally my favorite day of the week: Dance team and theatre practice. We were putting on the musical Chicago.

I had gotten lucky and was allowed to the Assistant Choreographer.

Between that and balancing four classes, two of which being Advanced Placement it was a miracle I could stay focused.

I heard my phone’s alarm going off as well as an obnoxiously loud knock.  I tried to stop my alarm which was Pink Floyd’s Another Brick in the Wall from the speakers of my phone which I did kind of successfully.

I opened the door, I saw one of the girls from my dance team, her face was completely flushed, it was clear that she had ran to see me.

Her breathing was hitched, I awkwardly invited her inside my single room, and got her some water to drink which she drank eagerly. I recognized her immediately, she was Hana Andersen, a shy yet over-eager freshman on the dance team. She was a little rusty but was a little ball of energy when it came to freestyle.

“Han you wanna tell me what’s going on?” I asked carefully.

My door was closed, so no one could see the empathy I had hidden for years.

Her hands started to shake and I gently started to coax her into speaking, and she gently took a small breath.

“I-I...Don’t think I’m fit to be at Warren,” she whispers.

Her tone is soft and a bit distressed, but still sad nonetheless.

I nodded,  gently taking her hand,

“You know.. I think you do. Everyone’s been in your shoes at least once. Hell, even you can’t expect to become a star overnight. If you want I can help you, at least if you want me too?”

Hana’s eyes light up as well as faintly brimmed with tears and she nods overzealously and immediately hugs me.

“Thank you! Thank you, Juliana...Jules!”

I nod and look at the time, 7:25 am. Shit, if  I’m not careful I’m going to miss breakfast.

“Meet in my room before dinner?”

She nodded again, as she opened the door and smiled, and said

“Pink Floyd's my brother’s favorite! ”

I smile and lie effortlessly,

“Same with mine.”

I closed the door behind me, I looked at the time again, 7:32. There was no way I was going to get breakfast in time, I had to take a shower and get ready for my advanced English class across campus.

I frowned, going straight to the back of my room grabbing my lilac and rosewater body wash.

I pulled out my school sweater and a pair of leggings, fortunately, there was also a pair of flats by my bed frame.

I grabbed my ID plus my shower stuff and was surprised at the silence as I walked through the hallway of my residence hall.

It was a nice contrast from the usual hustle and bustle I usually experienced which came from running several clubs and homework as well as living in New York.

As I got out of the shower and put on my “runway” outfit and I was greeted with several texts from my Dance Team Group chat and Jaxson (my boyfriend).

Where are you 😟

We’re abt to go on!! 💃🏻💃🏿👯

hey babe, dunno if you forgot lol u dont forget. First classes are canceled. the big pep rally with the new students. the dance team is looking for u! 8:25!

My eyes widened in shock, how could I have forgotten that. There was no time to change and I couldn’t miss this especially with the rumor of a Broadway talent scout in the audience.

I texted them both back

On my way!! ✨💜

I grabbed my backpack, my English Book and quickly ran to the gymnasium and I saw my team about to go out on the floor.

“H-hey! I’m here!”

Jaxson immediately hugs me,

“Jules! Thank god! ”

I smiled immediately kissing his cheek.

“Let’s get this show on the road!”

“You’re gonna kill it!” Jaxson said excitedly.

As we get ready to get on the dance floor Hana looks at me and then looks awkwardly at  Victoria who is scowling at me.

Victoria was about 5’7”, dark blonde hair and dark blue eyes, she was the lead in the musical who personally wanted my job as the assistant choreographer.

“What the fresh hell are you wearing?!” she hisses at me as we enter the gym.

I ignore her for a moment, but for a moment smile,

“I’m just showing school spirit”

As the music starts, I feel like I can feel everyone’s eyes on me, people murmuring to each other and then I make eyes with the talent scout. Her eyes are a cold and piercing amberish hazel and I can feel my hands shaking and I get cold and sweaty, it goes black almost immediately.

---

I’m in the woods, its calm, and  I know I’m not home. The surroundings are familiar yet strange and I could assume this could only be how this is how Alice felt when she fell down the rabbit hole.

I turn for a moment, seeing a girl, she couldn’t be older than me but if she is it has to be a least a year’s difference.

She looks at me with a small smile, there is a quartz crystal crown on her head. She walks closer to me, gently placing a warm hand on my cheek. Her voice is calm as she gently says.

“You need to wake up. We’ll meet again soon Jules. I promise”

My eyes shoot open and I realized that I was in the nurse’s office and I see Jaxson is holding my hand. He smiles looking at me with calm jade green eyes.

“You feeling okay?”He gently squeezed my hand.

Jaxson opens his mouth to start talking, almost immediately the school nurse comes in.

“You had a textbook anxiety attack. I’d recommend resting, I’ll write you a note excusing you from class. Just collect your homework.” she says as she writes something down on a blue slip of paper.

Jax holds my hand as I get out of the cot, and I take the blue slip from the nurse’s hand.

“Take it easy Jules... Don’t overexert yourself.” the nurse recommended.

As we exited the office Jax kissed my cheek, and walk around the campus to collect my textbooks.

“You wanna get lunch at my parent’s place. You didn’t get to eat breakfast today.”

I  was about to say yes but I got a text from Reyna, Victoria’s understudy for the role of Roxie Hart in Chicago.

Can u pls pls help w All that Jazz 😟

I sighed, telling myself I’d eat dinner, besides Reyna was more important especially with the show being the first mark as a choreographer. Sure, I had choreographed the dance team routines but this was bigger.

“We can grab lunch tomorrow?”

Jaxson kisses my forehead and walks off.

“Of course love”

Sure np! Lemme drop off my books.

I put my phone in my pocket, and I notice a tour going on the group looks pretty excited, but as the group gets closer, one of the girls sticks out.

She has a small silver stud in her right nostril, and her brown hair has been cut short. But otherwise, her other features look the exact same from when we were kids.

Under my breath, I silently muttered out of fear and confusion.

“Krissy?”

It couldn’t be, could it?

I unlocked the door to my dorm and dropped off my books and texted Reyna to let her know that I was on my way. As I walked into the room I checked my old group chat, the last messages were old invitations and good luck messages from Ophelia and Maddie.

Hey, I know I haven’t been on here much but I’m p sure I saw Krissy? Wanna meet for some 🍕 Maybe @ 7  ✨💜

I shove my phone into my pocket and heading to the music room and I see Reyna stretching on the bar, as she finishes, she notices me and gives me a smile.

“Ready?” I ask her curiously as I set up the music track up on my phone.

She nodded,

“As I’ll ever be.”

I nod,

“5...6, 7,8” As I hit the play button and watched her sing and dance, there were instances where she’s strong like her singing, but her dancing gets sloppy when the chorus hits. When I break down the routine, Rey starts to look and sound polished and I considered starting the routine of the Cell Block Tango when the bell rings, bringing lunch and our practice to a close.

“Thanks, Jules! You’ve saved my ass!” She hugs me happily and walks off.

I smiled and head back to my room ordering some lunch cause I am starving, I order a simple grilled cheese sandwich and tomato soup, and as soon as I arrive I feel so much better and start with writing out my notes.

---

As the day slowly begins to wind down, slowly begins to wind down, I can see the sun begin to set. I check the old group chat for anything from my last message about Krissy and is met with silence, I sigh as I get myself in some dance clothes in preparation for practicing with Hana.

I check my phone again, still nothing, and as I let out a sigh until I heard a knock on the door. As I opened the door to see the smiling face of Hana who immediately hugs me.

I smile faintly,

“Okay, you ready to get to work?”

She nodded, her eyes light up instantly

“Heck yeah!”

I chuckled remembering my own enthusiasm from last year.

“I’ll go first.I’ll see how you do.”

I hit the play button and Zella Day’s Hypnotic comes on and as I count myself in, I let the music flow through me.

I smile a bit making myself look as if I am a siren entrancing a sailor in Ancient Greece. When the song ends Hana is staring, her hands visibly shaking.

“You’ve got this” I remind her gently.

She nods weakly and as I started the music she tries to replicate my moves, just like Reyna she is strong in some spots. I smile and start to dance with her until she’s more comfortable.

It’s not long before she’s getting it, I smile giving her a high five as she starts to nail the moves.

“Thank you so much, Jules!!”

I smile,

“Don’t mention it. I was gonna grab some pizza. You wanna join me?”

She nodded eagerly.

“Come on now! I’m paying.”

---

As Hana and I finish our pizza its almost 7:40, we’re laughing and joking but we pass by my house. All the lights are off, except for my bedroom light and the one in the attic. I also notice that my parents aren’t home, and  I stare at the window.

Hana looks up with me,

“Jules? You okay?” Han asks gently.

I blink snapping out of it,

“Yeah... You go back to Warren I’ll catch up. ”

She rose an eyebrow,

“You sure?”

I actually wasn’t too sure in all honesty, but instead of sending her away, I politely and calmly whispered.

“Keep watch.”

She nodded, but gasped silently,

“What if we get in trouble?”

I chuckled,

“This is my house, we’ll be okay..”

I went around back to the emergency exit and smiled looking at the slightly faded pink blossoms. I hated to uproot them but I found the spare key taking it to the front door. I ran back down and opened the door.

Hana looked around, her face etched with fear.

“Jules!” She whimpered.

“It’ll just take a minute!” I insisted.

As I go up the stairs to my room, I cringe at some old pictures, remembering how many hours it took to get right. I  push the door open to my bedroom, everything appears to be normal except a box made out of faded old wood is in the center of my bed.

I grabbed the box and closed the door and put the key back under the pot, and lead Hana back to Warren.

“That’s enough excitement for one day,” I say examining the box.

I run my fingers over it, and offer Hana a chance to look at it.

Hana picks it up, her hands fumbling over it, and the box awkwardly fell out of her hands.  The box falling to the ground,  a wedge from the bottom, peeking out. As she hands it back to me I slowly pry it back its contents spilling out. Letters, Photographs; all things that I’ve never seen except the one of my grandmother and my mom hiding behind her leg. Hana and I start to go through the items and in the slew of things there was a white knight piece. Hana is holding an envelope with a letter and I’m looking at a picture.

It looks like a simple polaroid, that says: Me, Andrew, Patrick, Oliver and Sophia. Sophia’s hair is a dark black, and flowing. She is smiling a bunny ears. The other three boys are smiling in their uniforms.

“Hey Jules.. You should read this.”

I nodded and reading out loud, holding the envelope that was awkwardly torn.

January 11th

Dear Sophia,

I am writing this letter as a warning. In three days time He will find you. He has been in my dreams quite frequently and I fear he knows about the iteration. You have to hide it, you and Jeremy have too close with Daisy. And I know after our disbandment we promised we would never talk again but I pray to Elysia he doesn’t find Daisy. The vision that caused our severance is much clearer to me. The Demon King will return this iteration.

Run Sophia Run

Yours

The name is cut off but all I can wonder is who is Sophia?

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Taglist

@sunshineinacamp

@the-polyhedron

@maybemochas

@red-wood-raven

@sexyshortcake

@peoniepoetals

@cause-hes-so-hard-to-see

@queenly-fucker

@piggybackjunkie

@anne-tifreeze

@onemoresoultothecall

@thebigmollymauktealeaf

@poisonedapples

@anxious-bagel

@that-monster-boy

@thebisexualzombies

@ivonoris

@hcdwigs

@lazyscouts

[slythxn]

will he

pairing: spencer reid x reader.

this was inspired by Joji’s single: will he. istfg I get in my feelings everytime i listen to this song. I also live for angst and I finally have time to write after a long time :) I hope the ones who get to read this enjoys this !

warnings: angst maybe small amount of smut ??? I’ll figure it out as I write.

my headass hasn’t written in months so I wrote this in October, but didn’t finish until today December first, 2017 LOL OKAY.

__

Spencer’s head rested against the end of his white bath tub, the tub not only full with tap water, but his own tears as earlier on as he followed his rutine of almost daily going to the grocery store to buy sugar he saw you standing by the chips.

Smiling to himself noticing you were struggling to pick between your two favorite flavors. It was strange to him, your style changed. You didn’t wear the nude color clothing you did around him and you stopped wearing your glasses.

Now he saw your beauty was being emphasized even more with the glittery and dew makeup you wore. Your lips shiny with red glitter lip gloss, your cheekbones golden shiny, and your eyelids bold and bright. 

It was as if he left you in a dark room, you would luminate it with your makeup and clothing as you wore a light brown faux suede skirt and ruffled red off the sholder crop top that was tucked inside your skirt.

You were different to him now, your hair wasn’t in a wavy ponytail, it was curly and short- if it wasn’t for the red braceltes you always kept on your left arm- Spencer would’ve never known it was you.

And there his will to go up to you and say hi, died- that and the fact a tall man came rushing to you with a cart making a joke after stopping causing you to laugh like he used to. Noticing the way the raven haired boy looked at her, Spencer realized you had moved on.

Swallowing the lump in his throat, Spencer paid for the sugar rushing himself to the car without noticing you heard his squeaky thank you as he paid for the sugar.

It was rare for him to drive, but after you two broke up, he had to drive himself almost everywhere to avoid seeing you in busses and trains.

In seconds his feelings settled, and his heart fell to an unknown pit as his fists slammed the driving wheel before he rested his head against it.

I got knots all up on my chest.

Swallowing the lump in his throat, Spencer wondered why love was the way it is. Why it caused immense pain after a relationship was terminated? Though he was a genius, sometimes he didn’t know the simple things in life.

The car ride was silent, it was getting chilly and as he stepped out of the car, Spencer rushed to his apartment where he dropped everything on his couch and kitchen counter.

And then sometimes the stupidest of ideas came when one was hurting.

Stripping from his clothing, Spencer spotted the products from lush you bought and left when he unexpectedly let you know the relationship was terminated.

Letting it dissolve, he saw the red dye with hearts coming out of it. After just dumping the bath bomb, Spencer walked into the bedroom with a towel around his torso, pressing play to his laptop watching the videos he had recorded of you.

Smiling he looked at your contact picture. It amazed him how different you looked from the last time you two saw each other. But he risked it and dialed your number.

The agony grew in him as you didn’t answer. When it came to leaving a voice mail he didn’t hesitate. With a long sigh, Spencer begun. “Just know that I’m trying my best…”

Hearing your laugh on the video and watching your smile, a tear rolled down his cheek.

’Cause when you look

When you laugh

When you smile

I’ll bring you back

And now I’m sad

And I’m a mess

And now we high

That’s why I left.

He closed his eyes seeing from the corner of his eye as you and your new lover kissed. How he held your almost exposed waist as your lips moved in sync. 

Spencer sighed moving to the bed both of you spent so many restless, passionate, and sensual moments.

“Will your tongue remember the taste of my lips?” He asked placing his slender fingers to his lips. Spencer had closed his eyes once again, recoiling the memory of your body intwinded with his as he thrusted into you while you let out a couple of moans. 

He saw your face, how it contorted to when you moaned out his name and your nails raked his back as he smirrked. “Will your shadow remember the swing of my hips?”

He was now laying on his side as he hugged the huge pillows you insisted on getting. In that instant he could imagine your warm naked body against him- his hand running up your thigh to your arm. “Will your lover caress you the way that I did?”

It angered hm as he imagined the raven haired boy run his hand up your silky smooth exposed skin. How that new man would be the one to cause you pleasure and how he would be the one to kiss your neck and other places you found pleasurable.

“Will you notice my charm if he slips up one bit?”

A loud sob had escaped Spencer’s lips, just like tears escaped his eyes.

“‘Cause I don’t need to know. I just want to make sure you’re okay. I don’t need to know. I just want to make suree you’re all safe.”

He turned on the CD Player as he begun to listen to your favorite artist. “Will he play you those songs just the way that I did?” 

A small chuchkled got out of his lips as he looked in the mirror. His tear stained face, his puffy red eyes, and a sadness he regrets inflicting upon himself.

“Will he play you so strong, just the way that I did?”

He was angry now.

“Will he treat you like shit, hust the way that I did? ‘Cause I don’‘t blame ya.”

The memory of him just yelling at you for whatever reason he found made him angry.

Why would he lash out on a sweet thing like you?

He once again sighed looking at the scattered pictures in a drawer. 

“‘Cause I on’t need to know. I just want to make sure you’re okay. I don’t need to Know, I just want to make sure you’re all safe… I still love you.”

Sadly those were the last words you would hear from him in a long time.